#i have gained his adopting tendencies. if i see a sad child i will take them out for ice cream or chill in a discord call with them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wpdarlingpan · 3 years

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How would yandere Damian Wayne react to his beloved having a fondness for books? Will he get jealous that she keeps gushing about non existent fictional characters? Lol I have a feeling he will 🤣

I absolutely love this idea, it was fun to write.

Trigger Warning: Abuse

(Not on Damians end but Y/N’s father)

Nothing descriptive and very brief.

~*~

Damian had met his beloved at school after she was the only one who didn’t chase after him. She didn’t even seem to notice he was there. He was determined to change that.

The first day they talked he introduced himself, waiting to see her reaction to his last name but gained nothing more than a polite introduction from herself than she returned back to the book she was reading before he interrupted her. If she hadn’t got immersed back into the book than she would have seen the surprised look adorning the young Wayne’s face.

From there on he was determined to know everything about her. He used the bat computer to find out that she lived with her father in a nice house near his own. Her mother died during child birth and she had no siblings. Damian wished he didn’t have ‘siblings’ even if he never called them that. Well... maybe Grayson. But Todd could go along with Drake.

He decided to go to her house to check in on her and his excuse was to gather intel, but what he saw was not what he was prepared for. Damian saw Y/N’s Father yelling at her as if she had nine something terrible. Damian watched as the man cursed out his young daughter making Damian scowl and tighten his hands into fists. But they suddenly stopped fighting so Damian left as he had school tomorrow and he wanted to talk to you then. If he had stayed a second longer he’d have seen her getting locked into the cupboard under the stairs without dinner.

But luckily for her she had books. She read hunger games, Harry Potter, and many more. Even twilight even though she absolutely despised the ‘Bella’ character. But they all had love. She loved to read about love and the feeling of euphoria it gave people.

“Maybe one day.” She thought to herself.

The next day Damian Wayne talked to her again. He made more progress but it was hard to keep her away from her book.

It continued for weeks and then to months. He had slowly broke down her barrier and she finally stopped ditching him to read a book.

After 3 months of talking and Damian following her around daily to make sure she was safe he finally asked her on a date.

She met him at the park during sundown. When she arrived there was a picnic blanket with a basket on it and a couple of cushions. She saw someone walk up to her from where they were sat by a tree and they gently grabbed her hand and led her to the set up.

“Do you like it?” Damian asked nervously. He knew that this date was what determined his future plans. She was his beloved even if she didn’t exactly know yet. If she didn’t like the date or found out she didn’t like him the same way he loved her than she would learn to with force and time or she could love the date and he will spend every moment of the day with her after he asks her to be his.

She smiled widely, liked it? She loved it! It was exactly like something out of a book. A grand romantic gesture.

He smirked at her smile and he just knew he was already successful in gaining her feelings. He noticed the shiny glint in her eyes.

“I love it Damian. Thank you.” She spoke smiled at him and leaned over to give him a hug making his heart spike with happiness.

They had a wonderful date and it resulted with a 2nd and 3rd one. Then he dropped the question and she couldn’t bring herself to say anything but yes.

Even as she noticed that some of the few friends she had distanced themselves from her after she agreed to be Damians girlfriend after the 3rd date.

Even when some of her romance books began to disappear, which is what really made her sad. Once she told Damian with tears in her eyes that a. Few of her books were missing he gave in and hid them in her room for her to find the next day.

That’s when something happens. Y/N’s father was killed in a police shooting after he had assisted the Joker himself on a robbery. Worst part was Y/N found out over the news.

Damian was very happy with the news of the death fo his beloveds dad. He found out about the abuse after he snuck in to her house the second time and heard a lock click with no Y/N in sight.

Damian told his father about the girl and Damian played his fathers weaknesses against him he told him that she was abused and that she needed help. She needed to be safe. That thing that convinced him finally was that Damian told Bruce that she was the one and Bruce’s eyes widened greatly before he moved into a smirk. Of course his son had found his beloved, Bruce was a Yandere too of course, where else would Damian have got the tendencies from? His mother Talia or his grandfather Ra’s? They both would be caught dead saying the four letter word.

That’s how Y/N was adopted by the Wayne’s.

That’s how she ended up staying in the room next to Damians.

That’s how she ended up being with him 24 hours a day, since he got his classes switched so he was in all of hers but when it was questioned it was for academic reasons.

Y/N was sad though. She had no friends other than Damian. Her father was dead, her mother was dead, she had no family. No matter how bad her father treated her all she could think was that she deserved the pain.

A month after the shooting Damians Yandere side began to progress. She wasn’t allowed out of the Manor without being accompanied by him if she was allowed to leave at all.

She had been taken out of school alongside Damian by Bruce at the request of his son who didn’t like that boys and girls were looking at his beautiful beloved.

He was obsessed with his love.

A few months after living in the manor, meeting everyone, and adjusting to Damians possessiveness and rules she was doing okay. She wouldn’t dare go against Damian after he had guilt tripped her after she said she wanted to be alone for awhile and take a walk. Damian was glad that she was so easily manipulated that she didn’t even attempt to fight his love. He had to protect her form the cruel world he had experienced first hand. Her kindness, innocence, and trusting nature would get her killed in Gotham. But there was nothing to worry about because he was there to protect her. He always would be.

But she grew slightly distant from Damian after she began reading the books in the Wayne Library. There was a whole room stocked shelf by shelf with books.

She had been in there reading a book where the main character was trained with a sword and was a Assassin but he fell in love with his target. That’s where Damian saw her after he had been searching for after he began to getting annoyed after being away from her for so long.

“What are you reading My Beloved?” She had gotten used to the nickname and would slightly blush at every use of it. It was another thing that seemed like it was straight out of a book, he was her knight in shining armor.

“It’s called His Mission, His Love. It’s about this dashing guy who can sword fight and is a very skilled Assassin. He falls in love with the girl he was supposed to assassinate for his group of assassins. But he failed it by falling in love. I haven’t found out what happens yet. He sort of reminds me of Finnick from that other book I told you about, Hunger games remember? Well he wields a trident and it looks super cool and...” she was cut off from Damian snatching the book from her hands and shutting it without even marking her page making her lose her page.

“Hey!” She cried out as he tossed the book across the room. He scowled when she yelled at him which result in him standing directly in front of her as she sat on the couch and he leaned down to her height the grabbed her chin making her face towards him instead of that insufferable book he had tossed across the room.

“You don’t need that book got it? You have me, and you only need me.” He spoke looking into her eyes as his face was only inches apart from her own.

“But...” she began to say. She loved books, it was nice to image the love. But she couldn’t exactly say she didn’t know the feeling for herself now after dating Damian. He had done so much for her to keep her safe and well after he father died.

“I can sword fight, I’m a assassin, I am even more handsome and richer than any character in those terribly pointless books. You don’t need them when you have me.”

She looked at him weirdly and that’s when he realized that in a fit of jealousy - over a book character- he admitted by secret he hadn’t told her yet.

“Assassin? Fighting? What are you taking about Damian.”

He rolled his eyes at her but explained.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m Robin. My fathers batman, Graysons Nightwing, Todd is Red Hood, and Drake is Red Robin.” He watched as her eyes widened making him begin to lose himself in the beautiful eyes he loved so dearly.

“Really?” She said in disbelief but it did make sense. But that’s when she suddenly blushed at a thought and by the fact it took her so long to blush Damian was thinking that she was thinking back to her book character again as her eyes darted away from him coincidentally to where the book was.

“What are you thinking about My Beloved?” he demanded in a cool tone that was laced with jealously. He grip on her chin tighten a little more and his other hand laid on her waist.

She murmured something he couldn’t hear which was very surprising as he was so close to her.

“Repeat what you said but louder. Please” he spoke waiting for her to say she was thinkjnt about the assassin from her book but he wasn’t prepared for what she would say.

“I used to have a crush on Robin, he is my favorite.” She spoke then closed her eyes willing the blush that adorned her cheeks to disappear.

This would be the first time that Damian let out a huge smile and a slight laugh of disbelief.

“I pictured him... or well you as the character from my book because of the similarities.” She spoke still lightly dying from embarrassment which worsened when he scooped her up from the couch and into his arms before kissing her face multiple times while she laughed at the feeling. Then he sat down o the couch with her in his lap, not letting go as she tried to climb out of it.

“Stay here My Beloved. Why don’t I tell you real stories?”

And that was how Damian got jealous... over himself.

And how Y/N found out the identity’s of the Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and most of all Robin.

And it all started because of a book.

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dreamersscape · 3 years

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In Which I Attempt to Wreak Havoc Upon Panharmonium's Heart. Or Something.

Because I am an awesome friend, clearly, and possibly making people sad/verklempt is definitely an excellent way to (belatedly 😔 but I did start before the 15th!) celebrate Kakashi's birthday, right? ;)

I will admit up front that this is nowhere near as deftly structured and compiled as your Kakashi fanmix, @panharmonium, but that is precisely why I'm not even going to try to organize all these songs into individual playlists. Yet. Plus, I have a tendency to over-explain so this way I can better expound on why certain songs remind me of certain characters. Sorry that I sorta went a little... overboard?

Everything--except a few that aren't available on spotify, I'll link to them directly--can be listened to HERE.

What I'm Looking For - Brendan Benson | Kakashi → I may be a little biased with this one because it fits SO many of my favorite characters so well, somehow, but there's just something about the upbeat/tongue-in-cheek musical cues/delivery of lines such as 'I visit hell on a daily basis, and I see the sadness in all your faces' that just feels so Kakashi to me.

Happy Ending - MIKA | Kakashi → This is presumably a breakup song, but I enjoy it so much more in a non-romantic context (and the song itself isn't really boxed in with overtly romantic framing, so I appreciate that!). Anyway, some very important instructions IMO for listening to this with Kakashi in mind: everything before the bridge is about Kakashi up through his ANBU years, but when you get to the 'little bit of love' refrain, picture Kakashi meeting Tenzo, and then becoming Team 7's sensei, opening back up to Gai, adopting all the other leaf genin, assimilating Sai and Yamato into Team 7, and it keeps building with Kakashi gaining more and more loved ones to fill the hole in his heart, and then cry tears of joy with me! Just my personal suggestion. :D

Light - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team 7 (/all his kids)

with every heartbeat I have left I will defend your every breath

→ I've seen this song used for ship vids and I'm all ????? about that because this is clearly a song about the love you have for your child! But I suppose if one of my favorite pastimes is aggressively re-interpreting love songs in non-romantic ways, I can't begrudge the opposite process... too much, lol.

Heroes - MIKA | Team Minato

your blood on me/and my blood on you/but to make you bleed/the only thing I wouldn't do/.../I wish there was a way/to give you a hand to hold/'cause you don't have to die in your glory/die, to never grow old

Long Lost Friends - Transit | Kakashi & Obito

how long/do you have to say that/this is not the person I used to know/you are not the person I used to know/.../because lately, you've been looking at me like you've seen a ghost/and isn't it obvious who's been missing who the most

→ What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck!

Against the Voices - Switchfoot | Kakashi

'cause everybody knows/the hardest war to fight/is the fight to be yourself/when the voices try to turn you into someone else

Out of the Darkness - Matthew and the Atlas | Obito? Yamato? Kakashi? Itachi & Sasuke? Naruto & Kurama? → I'm a bit undecided about this one, or if I should just not worry about choosing one character and just let myself feel all the "inner darkness is not an innate characteristic, Danzo! They're just grieving/in a lot of pain, and they can find their way out of that dark place!" feels.

Save A Place - 1969 | Kakashi & Sasuke

so I'll keep away and save a place for you/and I'll only make the same mistakes as you/.../when all the blood all over your fingers is dried up/the pain will still linger

→ I'm not uber-confident in picking out really fitting Kakashi & Sasuke songs yet, but I hope this hits a lot of the right notes for you. :)

Thrive - Switchfoot | Kakashi

I'm always close, but I'm never enough/I'm always in line, but I'm never in love/I get so down, but I won't give up/I get so down, but I won't give up

→ See, it says right there that he's never in love! Not the crux of the song, and he's not always 'in line' either, but still! :)

Disarm - The Civil Wars | Kakashi & Obito

the years burn, burn, burn

→ I don't know how I keep collecting fictional relationships that work so well for this song, but literally every single line of this song hits so hard for these two?? Will never recover from this. (Also, I usually disregard when 'my love' pops up in the last line of the chorus, as the mood dictates. :) It's pretty incidental as is IMO.)

Renaissance - Paolo Buonvino & Skin | Sakumo & Obito & Kakashi & Naruto

let me show you one last time/let me show you one last sign/you can find it/I can't say that I can change the world/but if you let me, I can make another world for us/let me suffer all for you/make this vision all brand new/we can fight them/I can't say that I can win it all, [but] come with me and I will make my words stand tall

→ Okay, this is a very odd choice given that it's actually the theme song for a different show about the Italian renaissance (if you happen to see this, Mirjam, don't hate me!), but this could be IT! The "those who break the rules are scum, but those who would abandon their friends are worse than scum" anthem that's all about building a better world based on these principles! I really hope our sharing-a-brain talent translates to listening to this song in this way because I am feeling SOME KIND of way about this!

The Lament of Eustace Scrubb - The Oh Hellos | Kakashi → I really liked the song you chose from this album for your fanmix, so now I've feeling a tiny bit too on-the-nose with my choice, but I guess this is just a Kakashi album all around. 😆

Glass Heart Hymn - Paper Route | Kakashi(+ Obito) & Sasuke(+ Itachi)

memories as heavy as a stone/ I am empty, in my end you are my beginning

This Is Home - Switchfoot | Yamato & Kakashi (+ Team 7)

and now, after all my searching/after all my questions/I'm gonna call it home

→ All finding-where-you-belong songs are actually Yamato songs. True story!

Faust, Midas, & Myself - Switchfoot | Obito

you have one life left to leave/you have one life left to lead

→ Could this be any more perfect for Obito? It even has creepy-old-man!Madara!

Pluto - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

Always Gold - Radical Face | Kakashi & Obito/Sasuke & Itachi/Naruto & Sasuke

all my life, I've never known where you've been/there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend/and I heard you say, right when you left that day/does everything go away?/yeah, everything goes away/but I'm going to be here till forever/so just call when you're around

→ ...but mostly Kakashi & Obito because 'there were holes in you' 😭😭😭

Lemon Boy - Cavetown | Yamato & Kakashi → You already know the delights of this song of course, but I gots to be comprehensive. :)

Everywhere I Go - Lissie/cover by Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team Minato

danger will follow me now everywhere I go/angels will call on me and take me to my home/well, these tired eyes just want to remain closed

→ I chose the Sleeping At Last cover for maximum angst, 'cause sometimes it be like that.

Uneven Odds - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

maybe your light is a seed, and the darkness the dirt, in spite of the uneven odds, beauty lifts from the earth

→ ...just like an earth style: mud wall :') Okay, okay, bad jokes aside, the seed metaphor of course makes me want to associate it with Tenzo, but this is clearly a Kakashi song!

Twenty-four - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito

life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago/and I'm not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago/still I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/you're raising the dead in me/I wanna see miracles/to see the world change/wrestled the angel for more than a name/for more than a feeling, for more than a cause/I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/and you're raising the dead in me

I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme) - John Rzeznik | Kakashi

and how can they say I never change?/they're the ones that stay the same/.../they can't tell me who to be/'cause I'm not what they see/.../and their words are just whispers/and lies that I'll never believe

→ Yeah, I might've accidentally imprinted on Treasure Planet as a 14 year old, and then someone made sure this song would forever live in my heart by making a fanvid of it with my favorite character from my robin hood show, but! He's still here!

See You Again - Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth) | Kakashi & Obito/Team Minato

how can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?/everything I went through, you were standing there by my side/and now you gon' be with me for the last ride

→ I am being very unoriginal here, and there are in fact already fanvids made for these relationships set to this song (along with many others featuring different Naruto relationships), but I don't think I'll be able to rest until I translate the movie playing in my head whenever I hear this song now into an actually watchable format. After all, they have come a long way from where they began, and I intend to make that both as touching and ironically hilarious as possible!

Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers | Kakashi → Admittedly, I got this idea from a magnificently crafted fanvid done for my robin hood show, but I genuinely think it would be really interesting to make something similar for Kakashi centered around the time he technically died but got better? I don't know how to explain it, but I think it fits quite well.

30 Lives - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi & all the people he's loved and lost → can be listened to here.

A Pound of Flesh - Radical Face | Kakashi

then today I wake up feeling easy/and find I'm on more familiar roads/I got a darkness wrapped inside me/but now it ain't so hard to let it go/so keep a candle burning in the window/I'm almost home

Hold Back The River - James Bay | Kakashi & life getting in the way of him being with his precious people (you may be sensing a pattern here) → @the road of life: Let! Kakashi! And his People! Hold! Each! Other!!! Also, 'tried to square not being there, but think that I should have been' is absolutely about Sasuke's defection and Kakashi adding it to his long list of undeserving self-recriminations.

The Fall - Imagine Dragons | Yamato & Kakashi → 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

Shadowman - K's Choice | could work equally well for Kakashi or Obito, I think

any time tomorrow a part of me will die/and a new one will be born/any time tomorrow/I'll get sick of asking why/sick of all the darkness I have worn/any time tomorrow/I will try to do what's right/making sense of all I can/any time tomorrow I'll pretend to see the light/I just might/.../and doesn't it make you sad?/to see so much love denied/see nothing but a shadowman inside

Paint - The Paper Kites | Kakashi & Team 7

still there's a wound and I'm moving slow/though it don't show, though it don't show/I've got a hole where nothing grows,/how little you know, how little you know

→ A song for just how much Team 7 doesn't know about their sensei.

Always Find Me Here - Transit | Kakashi → ...most likely at the memorial stone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (why am I like this)

Taste - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

it’s bittersweet, it’s poetry/a careful pruning of my dead leaves/it’s holy ground, a treasure chest/I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface/like fists unraveling, like glass unshattering/we’re breaking all the rules, we’re breaking bread again/we’re swallowing light ’til we’re fixed from the inside

Help - Hurts | Yamato & Kakashi

take my hand and lead the way/out of the darkness and into the light of the day/.../'cause I know what I've been missing/and I know that I should try/but there's hope in this admission/and there's freedom in your eyes/.../I can feel the darkness coming/and I'm afraid of myself/call my name and I'll come running/'cause I just need some help

→ NO ONE TOUCHE ME.

Your Soul - RHODES | A mish-mash of Kakashi & Tenzo and Rin & Obito & Kakashi and Gai & Kakashi vibes? → So like, 'oh you know when you're alone/I'm holding on and on and on and on/to your soul' reminded me of your 'when you're all alone...the only thing you really think about is dying' 'but when there are two of you...the only thing you can think about is surviving.' and now kakashi - who just saved his life - is asking him 'did you want to die' and yamato is saying 'no' there are two of them and yamato wants to SURVIVE. tags as well as Gai's steadfastness as a friend, and 'I just wanna hold your hand' made me think of Rin's "Well then, I'm just going to have to connect the two of you." while holding their hands, and the sunlight/'soul shine'/'your light' motif is just A Lot in this song!!

7 Years - Lukas Graham | Kakashi → Alright, yeah, there are already approximately a gazillion pre-existing Naruto AMVs for this song and even one or two focusing on Kakashi, but they don't capitalize on all the angst possibilities in many of the lyrics or reach the fluff potential of 'will I think the world is cold or will I have a lot of children who can warm me [when I'm old]' and I cannot abide that!

Putting The Dog To Sleep - The Antlers | Kakashi & Sasuke → Okay, on one hand, this song is One Big Oof. But I do like the (potentially odd) way I've conceptualized it for Kakashi & Sasuke? Like, the first half is Kakashi going through all the tragedies in his life and getting lost in ANBU, but then in the second half it transitions to him wanting to prevent Sasuke from having to be as alone as Kakashi once was and they can face life together? It makes me emotional!

Trust Me - The Fray | Kakashi & Obito

I found a friend, or should I say a foe?/said there's a few things you should know/we don't want you to see/we come, and we go/here today, gone tomorrow

→ There are a few lines that call Tenzo & Kakashi to mind, but mostly it's Obito & Kakashi.

The Lightning Strike (What If This Storm Ends?) - Snow Patrol | Kakashi → I had to, right? My mindscape is a little murky/scattered about what specifically I want to think about when I listen to this, but obviously it has to do with Kakashi in one way or another.

Kettering - The Antlers | Team Minato(???) → Honestly not sure if this will make any sense, but yeah, vague team minato vibes?

Swans - Unkle Bob | Kakashi & Obito/Rin/Minato/Kushina/Sakumo → They should be by his side always!!!

Looking Too Closely - Fink | Kakashi → I honestly feel rather ambivalent about this one too, but I can't deny 'truth is like blood underneath your fingernails/and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself/looking too closely' always destroys me because... well, you know. I love suffering. :(

Souvenirs - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito & Rin

wolves - Switchfoot | Kakashi

snowfall for the battlefield/roses for the father's sons/see them red on the ground:/bleeding/when the revolution came/we were more than hungry men/we were hoping for more:/bleeding/end. begin again./all of my world is collision and spin/hope is a world that has yet to begin/awaken, oh sleeper/awaken, oh sleeper/a new day begins

→ I wanted a wolf-related song too. :)

PRODIGAL SOUL - Switchfoot | Obito, Itachi, & Sasuke; just all them wayward Uchiha boys

Coming Down - Dear Euphoria | kid!Kakashi & his relationships

the shell/that I wore/it wasn't for fun/it wasn't to make you/stick around/it was for survival/it was what I've learnt/it was for the sun/.../our love has grown/our love has flown

→ Another one I'm a little unsure of whether it makes sense outside of my head or not, but I like the vibes?

Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons | Kakashi & Yamato? → Hmm, can I maybe submit this as a Kakashi-&-Yamato-just-need-to-mske-it-through-this-war-so-they-can-have-a-bright-bright-future song?

All Is Well (It's Only Blood) - Radical Face | Kakashi → ...he said as he's bleeding out or after he's thrown himself in the line of fire protecting someone he thinks is a better person than himself...

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi

when the hour is nigh/and hopelessness is sinking in/and the wolves all cry/to fill the night with hollering/when your eyes are red/and emptiness is all you know/with the darkness fed/I will be your scarecrow/you tell me to hold on/oh, you tell me to hold on/but innocence is gone/and what was right is wrong

→ In a similar vein to the previous song. But goodness gracious! Were they NOT straight up describing Kakashi here?

Amaryllis - Shinedown | Yamato & Kakashi → Just tossing this one out there, not sure if it will make sense or if it's a reach... but I like it?

lost 'cause - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Sasuke

are we a lost cause?/or are we just lost 'cause/we won't be the future we refuse to see?/and if I'm your lost cause/it'll be your lost 'cause/you won't see me as I am, the possibility/that I'm not the enemy

→ 214 feels. (And before and after that, but yeah.)

Through the Ghost - Shinedown | Kakashi & Obito

so many silent sorrows/you never hear from again/and now that you've lost tomorrow/is yesterday still a friend?/.../everything that mattered is just/a city of dust/covering both of us/did you hide yourself away?/I can't see you anymore/.../did you hide yourself away?/are you living through the ghost?/did you finally find a place/above the shadows so the world will never know?/the world will never know you like I do ... like I still do

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men | Kakashi → Just Kakashi having little chats with his ghosts, totally the most heartwarming way to conclude this section. 😅

Sleepyhead - Passion Pit | Kakashi → Just kidding! Here's a slightly less morbid song for the Most Tired Boy Of Them All.™ (Random aside: this was my customary song to listen to on my walks to 8AM organic chemistry classes; I found it strangely soothing! On a different occasion, after a particularly long day for her, one of my roommates didn't have the energy to make it to her bed but nevertheless requested a lullaby from us. So I obliged by playing this song for her, but she didn't seem to gain the same peace of mind from it as I did. 😄 I know it's not my place to propose anything like this, but it does amuse me to imagine bookends!Kakashi in these situations, even though it's not OChem classes he has to go to.)

General/Miscellaneous:

Rise Above It - Switchfoot | Ensemble

don't care what they're telling me/we can be what we want to be/.../just because it's law doesn't mean that it's fair/.../don't believe the system's on your side/.../the curse is spoken/the system's broken; rise above it

→ I mean, how could I not think about Naruto when this song also has the lines 'hear us sing tonight like the last night on earth/we will rise like the tide/like dead men coming back to life/we are rising, rising'? It's fun to be literal sometimes!

Doorways - Radical Face | Allllll the traumatized children → Someone has to put all those tragic childhood flashbacks to good use, after all.

Ghost Towns - Radical Face | take your pick of Itachi, Sasuke, or Post-Kannabi-Bridge!Obito

there's no comin' home/with a name like mine/I still think of you/but everyone knows/yeah everyone knows/if you care, let it go

Blinding Light - Switchfoot | Hey, Hiruzen? You may have coined the phrase, "children are the king" but I don't think you truly understand it... (insert Princess Bride joke here)

hey boy, don't believe them/we're the nation that eats our youth/.../still looking for the blinding light/still looking for the reason why/still looking for the sun to shine/all my life I've been living in the darkest night/still looking for the blinding light/to take me higher and higher

Brother's Blood - Kevin Devine | EVERYONE → ...but certainly so much you could do with Itachi & Sasuke, Obito & Kakashi, Shisui & Itachi, even Hashirama & Madara! Sakumo's teammates turning their backs on him and saying 'I don't know one thing about my brother's blood'?!?! There are SO MANY ideas I have for this song! It gives me chills and makes my brain scream.

We Need Each Other - Sanctus Real | Ensemble → Already mentioned this one to you, but I have to include it here for thoroughness' sake!

Whispering - Alex Clare | the Hidden Leaf's lost/ostracized children/orphans

who will care for the falling?/who will care for the falling leaves?

So this is probably a strange concept to come up with and apply to this song, but the 'whispering, whispering, whispering' parts brought Konaha's virulent gossiping/passing judgement about others and often kids they don't even know problem to mind, too, and yeah?

The World You Want - Switchfoot | Ensemble → If I were to make a fanvid set to this song, I would definitely keep a broad focus, but I can't deny that the lines 'you start to look like what you believe, you float through time like a stream, if the waters of time are made up by you and I, I could change the world for you, you change it for me' FOR SURE has strong Obito & Kakashi/Kakashi & Tenzo vibes.

Red Eyes - Switchfoot | Ensemble, but definitely many dashes of Uchihas 😄 → I would like to thank Masashi Kishimoto for creating a world where red eyes are a Thing of Importance so I can one day make a fanvid using this song in not just the tired or teary bloodshot-red eyes way, but in a very literal sense too.

TAKE MY FIRE - Switchfoot | The Will of Fire → 'Cause I think I'm sooooo clever. 😄

Above The Clouds Of Pompeii - Bear's Den | various parent & child relationships → This obviously derives from the not-caring-about-your-female-characters problem, but it always gets me that all the single parents in the Naruto universe are almost invariably the fathers! I guess sometimes you can safely guess that the mothers are still alive/exist, but either way we hardly ever get to see them. :/ The one exception I can think of right now is Kurenai, but maybe I'm forgetting another conspicuous single mother. Anyway, I don't know if this helps or hinders more a potential Naruto fanvid for this song, but regardless, it still gives me feelings?

Who We Are - Switchfoot | Ensemble → It just makes me inordinately happy that the chorus for this song starts with 'who we are (in the fever of our youth)', you know? :D

Brother - Kodaline | all the friendships we can stuff in here and then some → Quite a well known song I'm pretty sure, but I love how many dynamics one could showcase in a potential fanvid of this. And, not gonna lie, 'oh brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos' deserves to be used in some sort of Tenzo 'n' Kakashi or Team Ro fan creation!

Special Bonus:

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine | Kakashi & Obito → I'm not sure whether I would have realized how well this works for Kakashi & Obito on my own, funnily enough, but then I found this fanvid of it (containing only scenes you've seen naturally!) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so well done!

youtube

#I do apologize for all the switchfoot/other repeated bands or artists #I wanted this to be really varied but switchfoot just has my number I guess?#I'd like to say I got it all out of my system now since I'll likely have to do a part two at some point #but that's not completely true *rubs back of head sheepishly*#also all the mentions of fanvid creation are just because I've always been a heavily visual learner/how I process stuff #--ironic given my visual disability--#so I suppose when my brain gets attached to something that's in an auditory medium it still has to find a way to add in a visual component?#anyway I hope this 60+ songs behemoth of a playlist is not too overwhelming and that the musical styles are somewhat up your alley!#I swear I'm going to jump back into our Kakashi & Yamato conversations now!#turns out I really suck at multitasking sometimes /0\#kakashi hatake #obito uchiha #team minato #kakashi 'n' obito #kakashi 'n' rin #kakashi 'n' tenzo #gai 'n' kakashi #sakumo hatake #naruto uzumaki #kakashi 'n' sasuke #kakashi 'n' sakumo #kakashi 'n' naruto #kakashi 'n' minato #Itachi 'n' Sasuke #itachi uchiha #itachi 'n' shisui #yamato #tenzo #sasuke uchiha #sakura haruno

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amethystroselilith · 3 years

Text

Seelies and Treasures

I was inspired by the Seelies in the current event, thus another Chilumi fluff

SUMMARY: An AU where Childe's free-spirited adventurer with a Seelie companion who wanted to find him the greatest treasure.

Can also be read in ao3: here

He watches as his fellow Seelies got adopted, no matter how much he glows in his bottle, he’ll always be overshadowed by the Rosé and Curcuma Seelies.

Another day has passed as the owner closed her stall, the old owner looking at the leftover Seelie on the shelves, with a sigh.

“Don’t lose hope, little one,” she said as she picked up the bottle, “I’m sure you’ll find a great home soon.” she smiled.

The Seelie had heard that a thousand times and each of those times have only been lead to disappointment.

Curcuma Seelies are always in demand as it brings good fortune, making them the top choice for adventurers who seeks treasures. These golden Seelie are pretty rare to find in stock in stores.

Rosé Seelies are known to bring love to whoever the Seelie had fancied, they are not typically the easiest to keep since the owner would have to prove the Rosé Seelie they’re worthy for their blessings, some of these powder-pink Seelies will even abandon its owner in favour of someone else. However, gaining the Rosé Seelie’s favour will lead them to a life full of warmth and love.

And there’s the Dayflower Seelies, the least popular choice. These sea-blue Seelies aren’t really popular for leading people to a chest full of mora or bringing romance in someone’s life, they are known for just tagging along to keep you company in adventures.

They used to be popular before, but as time pass, people would prefer Seelies that guarantee to get them what they want as soon as possible. All Seelies are great companion, the Curcuma and Rosé ones just have a little advantage over the Dayflowers.

The old lady placed the Seelie bottle back in its shelf, ready to retire for the night until a voice came.

“Ah, I guess I came to late.” the visitor sighed in disappointed.

The old lady chuckled at the young man, “Unfortunately. The Curcuma and Rosé Seelies are sold out.”

A blue glow came from the shelves, making it stand out from the darkness.

“Oh, looks like there’s still one!” the man’s face brightened up, causing the glow to grow intense in its own excitement.

“Ah, yes, we still have a Dayflower Seelie left, the last one actually.” the old woman said.

“Can I adopt it?” he asked.

“Oh, but you do know what Dayflower Seelies are, dear?” the old woman asked, though she would like to finally give the lonely Seelie a home, she doesn’t want it to be abandoned when someone learned that they’re not the most efficient treasure finders nor they guaranteed a happy love life.

“I’m fully aware, miss, they sound like the best adventure companions to me!” he grinned, “I don’t need an easy way to get a treasure, sounds like a dull adventure, nor am I really looking for a lover at the moment.” he blushed at the last part.

“My sonny, with that dashing looks, you wouldn’t need a Rosé Seelie to find you love.” the owner chuckled before picking up the bottle, smiling warmly at the glowing Seelie inside,

“Your time has finally come to shine, little one.”

After finishing the exchange to become a Seelie owner, the young man made his way, going in a quiet area before releasing the Dayflower Seelie from its bottle.

The happy Seelie excitedly jumped around his new owner, looking at him in different angles, curiously studying him.

“I’m glad to see you’re excited as I am, comrade!” the man chuckled before the Seelie settled in front of him, “I’m Childe.” he smiled.

~~~

“Ahaha! Did you see that Little Comrade?!” Childe excitedly asked the Seelie after the last Ruin Guard fell down, “Whoo, that was a great warm-up.” he sighed happily after having a thrilling battle against 4 Ruin Guards at once, his bow dematerialising to wherever Childe stores it.

Little Comrade did a happy spin before he and his owner walked to the chest.

“Whoa! A Luxurious Chest! Haven’t seen these in a long while! You did amazing Little Comrade!” Childe said excitedly, petting the Seelie before opening the chest and collecting the loot.

It’s 2 years since the Dayflower Seelie had found his home. Childe is the best owner the Seelie could ever ask for. They went to various adventures, slew a lot of enemies, and loot a lot of treasure. The free-spirited adventurer lived for thrilling battles, always aiming to be stronger as their adventure progress, so it’s no problem when the Seelie will sense a treasure locked around challenges.

Childe gets annoyed with puzzle challenges though, and it usually takes them so long to get the loot, and treasure is still a treasure. Even common chests are still valuable as it gives some mora, artifacts, and some materials to make him stronger.

“Well, now that I’ve warmed up, let’s get to work on commissions, yeah?” Childe smiled at the Seelie before they used a warped point to teleport to Liyue Harbor.

The ginger-haired man continues talking with the Seelie listens, “Do you ever wonder how these teleport points work, Little Comrade? Cause like…”

The Seelie never meant to doze out on Childe, and this is one of the times his thankful he can’t talk or else he’ll get easily caught when Childe asks something for his opinion. While Little Comrade would always listen to Childe, something is just bothering him.

Childe is really kind to him, he never shouted at him when he accidentally leads them in circles when the treasure was just a few steps away from them in the start, never got annoyed with him when he only received cabbages from beating up an unusual hilichurl, or when they got surrounded by dozens of treasure hoarders in exploring ruins.

Little Comrade wants to do something in exchange for all those times, the little Seelie had been trying so hard to find Luxurious chests, but unfortunately, he doesn’t attract the same luck as a Curcuma Seelie does. It doesn’t stop him from trying though, he sensed a Luxurious Chest earlier, and just like how he’s been patient in that shop a long time ago, he’s determined to never lose hope.

They have arrived at the Adventurers’ Guild, Katheryn giving Childe a list of commissions before informing him of a letter.

“You know, you’ll get more benefits if you actually joined the guild.” Katheryn of Liyue reminded.

Childe shrugged, “I like adventuring freely, plus Little Comrade is doing great in giving us a comfortable life with what I currently earn from these commissions.”

Little Comrade nodded, he also knows of Childe’s tendencies to go… a bit overboard in defeating an enemy. It happened one time when a group of treasure hoarders threatened to go after his family. Childe had taken care of the entire group, the Seelie is not sure what happened to them when they left them barely alive, but he knows they’ll never bother them again.

The whole scene can be traumatic and will cause most to immediately fly away from Childe, but the Dayflower Seelie had pledged loyalty to this man and would accept his flaws as much as the great qualities.

Katheryn just sighed, “I knew you’ll say that.”

“Then what’s the point of asking?” Childe chuckled.

The woman just shrugged, “Would still be worth it if you actually agree. There’s also a pair of travellers that just arrived in Liyue a few days ago. They’ve also been taking commissions but hasn’t officially joined yet.”

“New travellers, huh?” Childe hummed, “What are they like?” his curiosity grew, will there be finally worthy opponents in this place?

“Well, they’re great at what they do, that’s for sure. The only people that’s been taking the dangerous ones aside from you.” Katheryn hummed as she checked her logs.

Childe’s eyes widened, “Huh, looks like we have some rivals, Little Comrade.” he smirked at Seelie.

Childe always loves challenges and Little Comrade will make sure his partner will win.

~~~

Childe and Little Comrade were having lunch in a ruin, “Ah, that’s a really good meal, huh, Little Comrade?” Childe stretched before leaning on a large rock, “I guess we can finally read our family’s letter.” he remembered the letter Katheryn passed him before he left.

The sea-blue companion hovered on Childe’s shoulder, he doesn’t really know how to read, he just likes to sit on Childe’s shoulder when he reads.

It was the usual contents, them scolding Childe when he told a story that sounds dangerous, them telling stories from their end, and the usual ending…

“Still waiting for the day you’ll bring the brightest treasure in your life.” Childe ended with confusion.

“We already brought loots from a luxurious chest last time, and it’s still not enough?” Childe sighed before closing the letter.

Little Comrade lowered his ears, disappointment once again in himself for failing his partner.

“Don’t be sad, buddy, even I’m confused with what type of chest is better than luxurious.” Childe cooed as he gathered the Seelie in his hand to pet it.

The Seelie perked up, showing a new determined glow.

Childe chuckled, “That’s the spirit, Little Comrade!” he said forming a fist with a hand.

Little Comrade bumped it before doing a backflip, the best he can do for their secret fist bump.

“Well, that treasure isn’t going to find itself, so let’s get walking, Little Comrade,” Childe said as he extinguishes the fire he used for cooking.

They were about to walk out of the ruin until a noise was heard, Childe immediately summoned his bow, eyeing his surroundings careful.

A loud noise was heard and the ceiling trembled.

The pair silently followed the noise, Childe climbing up through a gaping hole in the ceiling. Carefully peeking from the wall, his eyes squinted in curiosity.

There was a blonde girl climbing what seemed to be a geo construct, Childe watched as the girl summoned another geo construct on another pillar, the girl jumped again, gliding to the other rock, unfortunately, her stamina didn’t seem to be enough.

“Ojou-chan, hold still!” Childe had run, Little Comrade following.

There’s a giant hole on where she’s falling, Childe jumped over it, catching the girl before they rolled around on the floor.

“Lumine, are you okay?” a new voice arrived.

They turned to the newcomer, whose face burned red in anger, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” he shouted.

It was too late for Childe to realise how they look like. The blonde girl was under him looking at him with wide eyes and a red face, her arms trapped under his weight while one of his is on her waist while the other beside her head. In a no context view, he looks like he was about to force himself on her.

“W-Wait-”

It was too late for Childe to explain as an anemo force threw him on the other side of the room.

~~~

“I’m really sorry for my twin’s action.” the blonde apologised with a bow, a Rosé Seelie beside her doing the same.

“You can’t really blame me for that,” her twin mumbled as he carried Childe’s weight out of the ruin, a Curcuma Seelie hovering beside him watching curiously at the Dayflower Seelie frantically checking on Childe.

“Ah, it’s really fine, ojou-chan. And don’t worry, I would’ve acted the same if I saw my sisters in the same position.” Childe smiled weakly, an arm hugging his torso to ease some pain, “And I’m fine Little Comrade, you can stop fussing now.” he chuckled at the blue Seelie who had been worriedly hovering around its owner ever since he was thrown to the wall.

“So, Lumine and Aether,” he learned their names, “what are you guys doing here? I don’t see a lot of people venturing in these areas.”

“Commission.” the twins answered in unison.

“We’re supposed to find someone’s belongings here,” Aether explained, “We already have it, but we like to explore the ruins, there’s usually a lot of treasures, I just wish my dear little sister wouldn’t be so careless.” he sighed as he looked at his twin.

Lumine blushed in embarrassment, “It was a time challenge.” she defended avoiding any eye contacts.

“You could’ve waited for me.” Aether rolled his eyes.

Childe watched in amusement as they began to bicker, his eyes staying far too long on Lumine.

Their eyes met one another, causing them to flinch and look away.

Lumine’s Rosé Seelie pushing her face to turn to him again.

“Hey!” Lumine’s face burned red as she quickly turned away again, glaring at her Seelie who just twirls around happily.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by Aether who clenched his jaw in annoyance, not wanting to think about it, the male twin looked at the Dayflower Seelie, “A Dayflower, huh? It’s rare to find it with an owner. You saved it?” he asked.

“No, I adopted him about 2 years ago, been the best adventuring buddy, right, Little Comrade?” Childe grinned before initiating a fist bump, to which Little Comrade followed.

“That’s cute.” Lumine smiled.

Usually, Childe just smiles when people are impressed with his Seelie, but somehow the blonde was giving him a weird feeling in his stomach. He chalked it up as some injury from his hit earlier though.

“I just saved mine earlier and we’ve never got this much mora in a single day,” Aether said, smiling at the Curcuma Seelie, who jumped excitedly at the praise.

“Lumi’s was found a few days ago. We finished clearing a hilichurl camp when this one just started following her.” Aether explained.

The Rosé Seelie twirled as if to introduced itself before nuzzling on Lumine’s neck, “She’s been a delight so far,” Lumine giggled and Childe never thought giggles could sound so beautiful.

Aether rolled his eyes, “And we all know what Rosé Seelie means… Whoever bastard dare come close to my sister better have a ton of Curcuma Seelies because there’s no way in hell I’m giving her away that easily.”

Little Comrade who had been observing Childe and Lumine glowed a determine glow.

Challenge Accepted.

~~~

“How are you feeling?” Lumine looked at Childe with worry.

Childe looked like he was really in pain when they arrived in Liyue Harbor, the twins had immediately brought him somewhere to patch him up. Only to discover that something with a bit of cursed energy had stabbed him. Luckily for him, it was only a small sharp rock and it’s not a complicated process extracting the toxins from his body. It took them until night, but Childe is safe.

The bandaged man just smiled from the bed, “Eh, I’ll live, are you worried, ojou-chan?” he teased.

“I just feel bad, it’s my fault in the first place,” she mumbled before awkwardly taking a seat on the sofa placed in the room.

It’s not like she isn’t comfortable with Childe, it’s just there’s something in him that also makes her feel suddenly self-conscious. She chalked it up as her guilt though.

“You shouldn’t be, but you should be careful when adventuring.” Childe just chuckled before reaching for the food that was set in front of him, an arm was bandaged, making it useless until it was fully healed, so Childe had to use one hand for a while.

Little Comrade perked up, he looked at Childe, Lumine, and the Rosé Seelie, who seemed to have the same thing in mind.

The Seelie looked at each other for a minute before Little Comrade started taking Childe’s hand, “Hey, hey, calm down, buddy.” he said as his Seelie took over his palm, nuzzling in it needily as if seeking for comfort.

Childe had seen him act like this before, it was once where Childe was gravely in danger from a fight with a Cryo Abyss Mage and a Ruin Hunter during a rainy day. The Seelie was panicking at losing his partner, it refused to leave Childe’s side for a long while after that, even ignoring a few treasures when it sees in a shady area.

“Looks like he was really worried for you.” Lumine observed, “I’m really sorry the trouble, little one.” she sighed until she felt her own Seelie nudging her, “Huh?” she looked at it with confusion.

Using all its might, the Rosé Seelie pushed Lumine off the sofa and near the bed.

“W-what…?” Lumine watched the Seelie then nudge her hand to a spoon on Childe’s plate.

Childe’s and Lumine’s face burned but for some reason, Lumine had grabbed hold of the spoon and letting the Seelie guide her hand gently to Childe’s mouth.

The Snezhnayan isn’t usually like this, he’s always staying unfazed even when he had walked into two treasure hoarders getting it on in one of the ruins a couple of runs ago.

But this time feels so different, he’s lost at what he should do, and maybe, just maybe there’s something in him that seemed to love the attention he’s getting from the blonde girl.

Lumine is also not one for being easily flustered, after travelling worlds with her brother for so long, there’s just so little that will leave her speechless, but this is a new thing. She would never admit it to anyone, but Lumine had always been curious what a relationship would be like. She used to be in love with the thought of being in love, but after no luck for so many years, she just gave up and accepted that maybe love was just not something she’s blessed with outside of her familial relationship with her twin.

The twins have learned of the Seelies in Teyvat, so when Rosé Seelie started following her, Lumine can’t help but have those feelings started blossoming in her chest again, she’s used to disappointment though, so she tries to keep the feelings down, convincing herself not to expect anything out of it.

But why can’t she do that right now?

Childe opened his mouth, accepting the food and smiling at Lumine after swallowing, “Thanks, ojou-chan.”

They don’t know how, but it’s as if the Rosé Seelie had shot them with cupid arrows, making them fall easily comfortable with each other.

They started talking and sharing stories, completely getting lost in getting to know each other.

Childe didn’t notice Little Comrade freeing his hand.

Lumine didn’t notice her Rosé Seelie had stopped guiding her hand.

Both didn’t notice a fuming brother peeking through the door.

~~~

Little Comrade watches as Childe excitedly scribbled words on a paper, it’s almost that time where they will go back to see their family. Childe had been busy buying gifts for his family for the past few days.

“Hey, you.” a pair of arms, gently wrapped themselves around Childe’s neck, “It’s getting late.” she hummed before brushing his hair up with her hand and kissing the side of his forehead.

Childe released a content sighed, leaning back to his lover’s arms, “I’m almost done, though I’ll have to drop this to Katheryn after.” he explained, shuffling a bit to pull Lumine on his lap.

Lumine chuckled making herself comfortable in his arms, before seeing the letter, “What are you writing about?” she teased as she poked Childe’s cheek.

“Hm, just talking about how wonderful my ojou-chan is.” he grinned widely when Lumine blushed.

“Very funny.” Lumine rolled her eyes with a huff.

“No, really, look, we can read it together,” Childe says as he held the paper up for them to read.

Lumine’s heart leapt in joy, she can’t help but bathe in that happy feeling as her lover shares something personal to her. As their relationship progress, Lumine started to feel comfortable with her feelings, letting them blossom without the fear of disappointment as her Ajax continues to prove himself as the best man for Lumine. Well, best man next to her twin, of course. No one will ever replace Aether in her heart.

Aether who had tried so hard to drive Childe away by sabotaging every move he tried on Lumine. She still remembered that night a few months ago where she had been feeding Childe. Aether straight away took her place as his nurse and had tried to choke him with a spoon as if it wasn’t enough that he’s the reason Childe’s there in the first place.

“...instead of her falling on the ground, she fell for me instead…” Lumine read before giving Childe a look, “Really, Ajax?”

“Little Comrade agreed it sounded cool.” he defended, “Right, buddy?”

Little Comrade agreed before nuzzling himself against Lumine’s chest.

“Hey, hey, buddy, that’s my woman.” Childe playfully scolded, poking the Seelie gently.

“To be fair, I wouldn’t be your woman if it weren’t for him and Primrose.” Lumine teased.

She had finally named her Rosé Seelie. She and Childe thought about it together actually. Originally, Lumine wanted to call her “Love” corny, but simple. Childe protested that if Lumine’s going to call someone “Love”, it’ll only be him.

Upon hearing her name, Primrose appeared and sat on Childe’s head, “There you are, little one, are you excited to go to Snezhnaya?”

Primrose did a happy twirl.

“Well, finish up your letter, yeah? I’m going to call Aether to see if he’s ready for Snezhnaya.” Lumine said before kissing Childe’s lips softly before looking for her phone with Primrose following.

Childe hummed happily before finishing his letter.

After sealing the letter in, he shouted to Lumine he’ll be out.

As he and his Little Comrade walked the quiet streets of Liyue, he turned to the Seelie.

“Thank you for bringing me the brightest treasure I could ever ask for, Little Comrade.”

#chilumi #genshin impact

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secret-engima · 4 years

Note

....I lied. If you’re still doing the title thing - if I go down gonna burn with the sun

I thought there was a few more title asks still lurking in here for me to answer. *cracks knuckles* RAMBLE TIME.

-Star Wars AU. Star Wars FFXV sorta-x-over AU where the Astrals decide that Aera and Ardyn deserve a chance at happiness, just not on Eos, and therefore go YEET. The Force, finding these two wayward and powerful souls is like- Sure okay and boom. Ardyn and Aera are reborn in a galaxy far, far away.

-Purely not coincidentally, far away, on different worlds and in different star systems, one Satine Kryze and one Obi-Wan Kenobi take their first breaths.

-Yes I’m serious.

-This would be- SUCH a chaotic fixit AU, both because Aera loves peace but she is NO pacifist and not about to let an entire Culture DIE just because some so called New Mandalorians cannot see the dangers of burying their own past. Two because- well.

-Ardyn has already BEEN a Chosen One and an Accursed, a Hero and a Villain. He has walked the path to salvation and damnation both and seen the worst sides of himself and humanity, and for all they look different, every species in the galaxy isn’t far different from humanity in those regards.

-Obi-Wan Kenobi grows up in the Jedi Temple and he is a Troublesome Child. Too quiet and too reckless by turns, a smile that could melt butter and a tongue that can strip flesh from the backs of whatever bully goes after him this time. The Jedi ... worry. He is Dark, they whisper, was born with shreds of Darkness in his soul. He is manipulative, they worry, he has a temper, they gossip.

-Ardyn hears them all and inside a part of him screams. Because of course he is Dark, they did not have their souls swallowed by a plague for others’ sake, were not consumed with madness until dying (being freed) at the hands of a nephew two thousand years removed. As for manipulation ... he doesn’t mean to. It’s just ... he’s so much OLDER than the other children mentally, older even than any Jedi there (even YODA), he can’t help it that he thinks rings around people sometimes, or that he is so in tune with the Force (with a galaxy-spanning magic that burns beneath his skin like a hundred newborn suns that he keeps buried so the Jedi will not sense it so clearly, will not know how strong and old he really is inside) that he can practically read minds and knows what to say to get the best outcome. He has a temper. Who doesn’t? You try being reborn after a lifetime of AGONY and see how patient you are with petty morons and small minded bullies.

-He says none of those things, and when his time grows near to be sent away without a Master, he does not fight it.

-He looks at the shadow of Qui Gon Jinn in the doorway and something in the Force ... sings. Sad and soft. It speaks of heartache and betrayal and a fear of being hurt again. Ardyn can almost FEEL the two paths branching away under his feet, one with Qui Gon in it, and one without, and he does not know which one will bring him less pain.

-Ardyn does not try to impress anyone in the sparring ring, but after he is done, he slips away. He finds Jinn in the garden, trying to meditate, and settles down across from him without invitation.

-Qui Gon opens his eyes in annoyance. He knows that the Council wants him to take a Padawan, and that this one is almost at the age of being moved to the Corps. He expects the boy to beg to become a Padawan, or to try to impress him somehow.

-Instead the boy just smiles, thin and sharp and knowing in a way that makes Qui Gon feel ... exposed. Like every thought and wound in his heart is on display for this child, “The Council wants you to take a Padawan. That’s why they keep making you watch us.” It’s a statement, not a question.

-Qui Gon raises an eyebrow, “And you think I should take you?”

-The boy shrugs, but his blue eyes are still sharp as knives behind his friendly mien and Qui Gon doesn’t like the feeling crawling up his spine, “That’s your choice to make and yours alone. There’s nothing I can say to change your mind one way or the other.”

-“Then why are you here?” He asks suspiciously.

-“Because you’re lonely, and it makes the Force feel sad.” The answer is so blunt, so sure of itself. Qui Gon feels his stomach twist, and old anger makes him snappish without meaning to be (he’s heard of this boy as well, he’s heard that he’s got a manipulative streak and a tendency to twist his Force empathy to his own ends, he’s heard many things).

-(Qui Gon forgets that it is not a good idea, to base judgement on rumors) “I am not, and if I was, I would not need your company to ease it.”

-Obi-Wan Kenobi, Initiate of the Jedi Temple Ardyn Lucis Caelum, Sage and Healer King and Accursed, tilts his head thoughtfully, then nods and stands up, “Then I will take my leave. Take care of yourself, Master Jinn.”

-Initiate Kenobi Ardyn the Accursed and Healer King walks away, and a breath later the Living Force twists, like the snapping of cables, and Qui Gon gets the fleeting, distinct impression that he has failed some kind of very important test.

-Ardyn is assigned to the AgraCorps. A life as a farmer for others awaits him.

-The day before he’s to be shipped off, he walks out one of the Temple’s side-entrances and into the underbelly of Coruscant with only the clothes on his back. He doesn’t look back even once. It takes until the next day for anyone (for his friends, if he can call them friends when they are so much YOUNGER and painfully more innocent than him) to miss him. It takes another day for the Jedi to realize Obi-Wan Kenobi is well and truly missing.

-Deep in Coruscant’s seedy side, at the dockyards manned by those who are less than concerned with legality, a boy in ratty (stolen) clothes asks to be taken aboard as a maintenance worker. He calls himself Ardyn Izunia, and there are no Force Sensitives close enough to feel the sunlike fire burning in his blood as he smiles.

-Skip forward several years and Satine Kryze (Aera) is on the run from Death Watch, civil war is on the horizon and her father asks for Jedi protection to keep her safe.

-The bounty hunter who calls himself Adagium finds her first.

-A sword that glitters like blood and cuts through metal like a lightsaber (that hums-hums-hums with magic none but a Force sensitive can see blazing like bloody fire down the ancient blade) finishes off the Death Watch assassin that Satine hadn’t had the chance to shoot yet, and under his hood, Adagium smiles. Satine stills, head tilted as if listening, then she collapses into the teenage bounty hunter’s arms in joyous tears. Adagium- Ardyn- holds her close and cries with her.

- “I finally found you, My Aera,” he breathes and for a moment he lets his magic loose and it burns like the sun through the Force, lancing through the growing shadows in the Force like they’re fragile paper and somewhere far away Sidious feels Doom™ crawl violently up his spine.

-Aka that Fixit AU where Aera is a Mand’alor that DOES want peace for her people but NOT at the cost of burning history to the ground (or being defenseless, she has died to the sword once already she will not go quietly into the night a second time, not if she has to paint the walls in blood to protect her life and the lives of her people), the Jedi are Confused™, and Ardyn is incredibly content to be Aera’s former bounty hunter trophy husband with a tendency to adopt strays (read: Anakin and Shmi who he frees as well as Anakin kthanks, and quite possibly Savage and Feral too tho no one is quite sure how) until the Clone Wars start and Ardyn takes one (1) look at the war and goes: ah. I know this plan. This is a stupid plan. And all of Sidious’s plans go fwoosh.

-Because I’m sorry but there is no way you can convince me that Ardyn wouldn’t EAT SIDIOUS ALIVE in any kind of fight, mental, physical, Force, or tactical. This man is 2k years old. It took Sidious until he was an old sack of bones to get his Empire and that was with GENERATIONS of Sith serving as his foundation, and then he got yote down a reactor shaft by his minion 19-25 years later. Ardyn was able to manipulate an entire Empire into engineering its destruction and fulfill ALL HIS REVENGE GOALS (giving Bahamut a headache, driving the world to darkness and ruin, and ending the line of Lucis Caelum INCLUDING HIMSELF) in like- 30-40 years. While MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ILL thanks to the Scourge. Fully healthy and in control of himself and with people (Aera) to protect? Sidious would just be fresh meat.

-Also Ardyn adopts a bunch of the clones, possibly all the clones, on the excuse that since they were raised by Mandalorian trainers they count as Mandalorians and as genetic sons of Jango Fett that makes the Mandalorian CITIZENS by BIRTHRIGHT and the Republic can only watch in confusion as their army gets mass adopted by the Mand’alor’s trophy husband who also exposed their new Chancellor as a Sith. Bail Organa, the new Chancellor, may or may not be sweating quietly at the thought of accidentally gaining the ire of the so called Trophy Husband because he’s smarter than most and knows that Ardyn is Very Very Dangerous.

-Also also Qui Gon doesn’t die somehow because I do really like him and I think he’s a good Jedi, just not a good fit for Ardyn as a master.

#Secret Engima Rambles #Burn With the Sun verse #Ardyn Izunia #obi wan kenobi #obi wan x satine #ardyn x aera #oh no new au

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veryvincible · 3 years

Note

Do you think you could share some of your Tony Ty youth/relationship days hcs? hehe

Yours truly,

Tys obsessed fan

Oh boy! I have been sitting on this for a few days now, because there is, uh, a lot. Also, I adore you, and I love every Ty ask I receive.

I think this post would end up far too long if I responded the way I desire to in my heart, so I’ll keep it relatively simple (edit: it did not stay relatively simple, and also it branched out slightly into other topics. This is so very long. Be warned.)

Content warnings here for psychological/emotional abuse/domestic abuse/child abuse!

I like to think they didn’t really have a “let’s get together!” moment. I think they ended up becoming close, they were casual with each other, and it just kind of... became what it became. I think they probably ended up using labels at some point, but I don’t think there was ever an official, “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” or “Would you want to be, like, boyfriends?” moment.

I think Tony was a generally isolated kid (obviously, he gained acquaintances like Bruce and potentially Reed as he grew older, but you know) and Ty was... probably also a generally isolated kid. Ty may have had a few other “friends” around, given what we know about him; he’s certainly charismatic. I don’t think Ty would have really developed close friendships with many people, though, given that his personality seems more rotten the closer you get to him.

We don’t see a lot of their childhood together at all, so this is almost entirely shit I’ve come up with for the sake of fic writing and general note-taking for the sake of coherency with how I write Ty, but.

One thing I tend to lean toward is the idea that Ty had kind of an awful home life. This isn’t really an, “Aw, boo, so sad, what a tragic man,” sort of thing so much as it is that... I think Ty and Tony are at their most interesting when they’re contrasting forces, and the idea of Tony (a victim of abuse who broke the cycle) becoming friends with Ty (a victim of abuse who perpetuates the cycle) at a young age, not in spite of their differences but because of them, is something I really like to think about.

We don’t actually get much of Ty’s parents in canon-- they’re kind of implied to be, like, Fine Parents. They’re contrasted with Howard Stark, who pulls the shark-eat-shark business motherfucker thing and basically causes Mr. Stone’s business to, like. Drown, or whatever. You know. The contrast there is implied, and I respect that for what it is. That being said, that’s not what interesting for me to write, and as such, I’ve chosen to tweak these little details for the sake of my more personalized (and slightly more self-indulgent) fic writing experience.

I think there’s a lot of potential in considering the differences between how they act at home as opposed to how they act with each other, too. I think Home Tony is generally apprehensive and subdued, but more uncertain and anxious than outright fearful 24/7. In IM Vol. 1, Howard was shown to be unpredictable; we got to see a lot of bad, but there were also sparkling moments wherein they seemed to be bonding as a father-son duo, and Tony would actually get to work with his father and learn from his father. I think that very well could have exacerbated the anxiety he felt, because he’s not being taught to never touch anything ever-- he’s being taught that there are very specific circumstances under which he’s able to explore as he’d like to, and those circumstances are 1) virtually impossible to accurately predict and 2) subject to change at the drop of a hat. So, Tony has been shown to be at least a little bit capable of testing the waters with what he’s allowed to do in the house and what he’s not allowed to do. That doesn’t make it any less anxiety-inducing, it just makes him a tiny, tiny bit of a more active child than one who’s constantly paralyzed.

Home Ty, to me, would be the opposite-- he is fearful 24/7, and as such, his behavior as a child is kind of... flawless, at least in the eyes of parents who think that children should be seen, not heard (and sometimes not even seen). I think both of his parents were abusive-- his father more so than his mother, but certainly both of them, if only because I think it would be yet another nice contrast between him and Tony, whose mother wasn’t perfect but certainly tried harder and felt more for Tony than Howard did. I like to think Ty was kept on a very short leash at home; boundaries were predictable, there were no “glimmering moments” he could grasp onto in order to make him feel like there was ever a chance of having normal family dynamics, and he was too afraid to really... do anything about it.

In contrast, I think Boarding School Ty was probably a lot pushier, a lot more risk-taking, and generally just... took up more space. I think he was still pretty fearful of authority and nervous about punishment, but he was well aware of the fact that this was distinctly different from being at home and that most people at school didn’t give a flying fuck about him. It likely could have been both liberating and anxiety inducing for someone so used to being around people who found it important to control him. I think he was probably pretty manipulative at this point, but I don’t think it was at the point where you would point to him and go, “Oh, what a fucked up, toxic person!”, especially since he was, like... a little fucking dude. Like, a fucking young’un. But I think the seeds were sort of planted here, and given that he had no healthy relationships to model himself after, he worked off of the assumption that in order to have control as opposed to being controlled, he needed to 1) possess things, 2) protect them aggressively, and 3) make sure his authority wasn’t threatened.

Boarding School Tony (from what little we’ve seen of him, though we can imagine he was probably similar to pre-boarding school Tony for a while, just with more Issues now) was probably the opposite-- less willing to take up space and less willing to take risks. It’s not unimaginable to assume that he might have thought his (extremely) mild exploratory tendencies might have had something to do with the abandonment, and he very well could have adjusted accordingly; if him causing trouble for people was what pushed his parents to leave him, he would very simply not cause trouble. A lot of this is nabbed from Adult Tony tendencies, wherein pretty much everyone else is prioritized over himself and he’s practically incapable of finding himself worthy of anything at all.

It’s the classic “extrovert friend-adopts an introvert” trope, except... it’s a severely damaged child feeling gutsy enough to finally, finally take up space and find something to possess and control for his own for once... friend-adopting a severely damaged child who very likely feels like the best way to proceed in relationships is to very clearly identify boundaries, figure out what it is the other person wants from him, and try to adhere to those desires as much as he’s able.

Of course, canon portrays the relationship as a “friendly rivalry” that Ty takes much more seriously than Tony does. From what we’ve seen of Tony, though, Tony doesn’t actually want to be better than anyone. In fact, he tries his best to make it seem like the opposite. He treats everyone like they’re on the same level, he tries to simplify the concepts he’s explaining so no one feels inferior to him, and, generally, he just... isn’t much of a braggart. That isn’t to say competitive/proud people can’t be kind and gentle and want to level the playing field often, but in Tony’s case, it seems that competition is best for two things: 1) having two intelligent, capable people trying to outdo each other and, in the process, creating better and better technology for the betterment of society at large, and 2) lighthearted fun.

For Ty, it very clearly wasn’t just lighthearted fun, and I think most of their childhood rivalry would have become formulaic at a point: Tony would put a good amount of effort into their competitions, but if it seemed that Ty was lagging behind too much, Tony would simply back off and let things even out. I don’t think Ty was predictably a sore loser; in fact, I think he was unpredictable, and I think a part of Tony that had only known life to be unpredictable found some level of sick comfort in that.

For Tiberius Stone specifically, I tend to read more into the unintended consequences/implications of his character based on one-off lines that... weren’t really intended to say much. The story canon gives us isn’t incohesive, exactly! It’s a pretty good story, especially if you’re not hellbent on analyzing character motivations. There’s just a lot about Ty that doesn’t seem very stable. Obviously, he’s not a stable person, given that he, uh, freaked the fuck out and tried to take over the world. But when I say Ty doesn’t seem very stable, I mean his character doesn’t seem the most stable at a second glance; we’re given conflicting accounts about his motivations, his intentions, his past, and even what he’s trying to do in the moment. And some of these inconsistences can be found in dialogue from Ty’s own mouth.

Now, if you read into it from a point of view that’s canon-adjacent as opposed to canon-compliant (i.e., assuming there’s much more of a story there than canon offers, and canon’s “case closed!” for the timeline of Ty’s life isn’t actually a closed case), you can gauge not only some level of dysregulation, but also... a level of delusion, almost. Ty seems disconnected from reality, but it’s not like there’s one single alternate timeline of events that’s cohesive in his head. It feels like his view of the world and, most importantly, himself (and this is excluding dialogue wherein he’s explicitly lying to Tony in order to manipulate him).

Most notably, we can kind of gauge fluctuations in his own views of his self worth. He engages in constant competition with Tony, he refuses to come back to America after leaving until he’s more successful than Tony, and pretty much everything he does is to prove he’s better than Tony. So, he thinks he’s better than Tony, right?

Well, not really. Because so much of his life was spent with the understanding that he wasn’t better than Tony. That was the whole reason he was gone for so long. He said he’d come back once he’d beat Tony, and... he still hadn’t beaten Tony. The beginning of the narrative leads you to assume that he thinks his big victory was being richer somehow, but it was all a set-up to bait Tony into Dreamvision. He comes across like he wants to kill Tony at first, and when that doesn’t work, he wants to... keep Tony. Like a pet, almost. But he also wants Tony to... kill him?

It’s a lot. It’s messy. It’s inconsistent. And that’s kind of what’s interesting about it. It (unintentionally, probably) suggests that Ty doesn’t have consistent motivations, which is something you do see often in people who are in survival mode in environments that don’t necessarily warrant it. It suggests a psychological wound that’s easy to poke at.

Essentially, Ty just comes across as very... hurt. Which, y’know, doesn’t justify shit and doesn’t make him any better of a person, but it provides the opportunity for some interesting narratives to sprout. Figuring out all the ways that Tony could unintentionally pick at this psychological wound of his and all the ways Ty could poorly respond is neat, I think, and I feel like these kinds of narratives tend to be very... raw, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. They just kind of hit hard, especially for those who have experienced similar situations.

It’s just something that’s terribly common in abusive relationships-- any implication that the traumatized abuser is doing something wrong can be a trigger for a borderline nervous breakdown, which makes communication practically impossible and, if the victim of the abuse feels obligated to stick around or take on the role of caretaker, turns the relationship into a cycle of insecurity and misery on all fronts. That’s not to say the abuser and the victim are suffering equally or are equally justified/valid, but it is a kind of relationship dynamic that can be incredibly cathartic to both write and read, and it’s also just... I don’t know. It just, as the kids say, hits different.

So, rewinding about four paragraphs there (whoops, this is getting long), I think most of my feelings about youth/relationship days Ty/Tony kind of center around this concept of two suffering people handling their trauma in totally opposite ways. I think it’s especially interesting to look at it from the point of view of them as younger adults (or teenagers, or children) who aren’t so set in their ways quite yet. You see these redemptive qualities and you see these children and these teenagers who are so, so ready to be helped and saved and cared for, but with the knowledge that they just... don’t get that. Not for a long time, at least.

It can feel fatalistic from a narrative standpoint, and... I mean, it kind of is. There are very few circumstances under which I could see Ty getting a redemption arc of any kind, and that’s kind of what makes a younger Ty so tragic. Everything he does is born of insecurity and anger, and everything Tony does is born of insecurity and love.

I think (for a short period of time, at least), they molded each other. Ty’s anger and competitiveness only solidified Tony’s inferiority complex and Tony’s inability to really, genuinely stand up against Ty in a way that would make any lasting meaningful changes only cemented the idea in Ty’s head that this was an acceptable way to be.

Now that that’s out of the way, here are some more simple and concise headcanons, because you asked for them and I’m sorry this became so terribly long and broke off in so many different directions:

- I think Tony and Ty bickered a lot as they got older. I don’t think Tony was totally incapable of standing up for himself, but I do think Tony probably had a tendency to call Ty out in the moment, and when Ty became too agitated and too unreasonable, Tony just left it alone and let it settle.

- I think Ty can play house extremely well. He probably remembers all of Tony’s favorite foods, favorite songs, favorite fabrics, favorite... I don’t know what other favorite things you could have, but you get my point. I don’t think he always used this information, but I think it would be incredibly important for him to know how to make someone feel loved, even if he didn’t always employ these methods (and in some cases, may have actively withheld certain kindnesses as acts of pettiness). I think it was also incredibly important for him to know Tony’s dislikes, for... obvious reasons.

- As I said before, I think Ty had a tendency to become terribly dysregulated; I think he was more than capable of both premeditated manipulation and unintentional manipulation. I think he very likely could have fallen into a spiral of thoughts that could make it pretty clear just how easily his self worth and his view of Tony’s worth fluctuated.

- Tony’s just... a stronger person than Ty. That’s a given. That’s been proven. And I think a lot of Tony’s willingness to put up with Ty would have come from this idea that he was more resilient and Ty was more fragile and volatile, so if Ty needed to take shit out on him every so often, that was fair enough.

- Another factor that may have played into Tony’s tolerance of Ty’s behavior in their youth (which, again, wasn’t nearly as awful as what Ty did as a grown ass man, given how Tony responded to Ty post-Dreamvision and how he pretty much immediately broke things off-- though, I very much enjoy the concept of Tony making some effort to make amends and Ty failing to meet him in the middle yet again) could have been the fact that it feels like Ty probably didn’t have a lot of other friends at all, especially not close friends. I think Tony would very much carry the weight of this “Maybe I’m the only person in the world who loves him” mindset. He values human life quite a bit, and I believe that even on a less intimate scale, if Tony tried to view the situation through the perspective of an outsider, he would still feel terribly, terribly saddened by the very human tragedy of being forced to take more than you can reasonably handle and becoming difficult to redeem as a result of this-- not because there’s no good left in you, but because you’re so frightened by the idea of even touching the trauma that you can’t force yourself to acknowledge you have a problem to begin with.

- I don’t think Ty feels the same comfort and warmth from physical contact that most people do, not because of anything innate (i.e. a natural preference), but because the only physical contact he received for a long, long time was, uh... Awful! That being said, I think he enjoys physical contact on the basis of being the center of attention, and he probably initiated physical contact quite a bit. I think Tony’s very big on physical contact, and Ty would very much play into Tony’s preferences here, too. Just to make himself seem like a better, more attentive boyf.

- This one is less tragic-- I think Ty and Tony get pretentious together! While I adore in-canon comparisons between Tony and the rest of high society, I also think a long-forgotten part of Tony’s character in fanon is the fact that he really does fit in with a more yacht-having crowd just as much as he fits in with your average Joes. He was raised by them and with them, after all, and his education was shaped by this. Of course he doesn’t love a lot of the culture around it, but with regards to the more harmless aspects of being a privileged kid in the environment he was in (the experiences one might have that aren’t inherently negative, that is, like having certain extracurriculars or being exposed to certain educational content), I think Ty and Tony really mesh here. Tony’s sense of humor with Ty would be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Steve, which would also be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Rumiko. Tony’s incredibly well-rounded, and I think he could match Ty’s Classics-loving, borderline classical theater kid tendencies very well.

- This one is 100% headcanon, based on virtually nothing other than, like, one comic panel... that isn’t even awesome evidence. It’s just a personal hc. I think Ty’s gay. Like, obviously, he’s gay for Tony, w/e. But I think Ty’s gay as in, Ty is exclusively attracted to men. The only women he ever had eyes for (or showed interest in) were the women that Tony had shown interest in/dated first, implying that there’s more of a possessive/competitive aspect than anything really... genuine. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t be bi, pan, or anything else (or straight, obviously, but this whole post is about him and a guy he likes to fuck, so that doesn’t really fit into the theme, here), but I prefer to write him as someone who’s only really interested in men (Tony specifically), and I prefer to write Tony as a bisexual man with a preference for women. This wasn’t really intended to be a big contrast between them; I had the headcanon for Tony already set in stone (haha), and for a long while I wrote Ty as a bi man, but recently I’ve kind of shifted things around to better accommodate my feelings about these characters.

- I love, love, love tattooed Ty. Get this man a quote in Latin on the base of his neck. Get this man some symbolic tattoos. Let this man be a poet who simultaneously wants to appear profound for appearances and wants to have these symbols on his body just because he likes them, and he likes to look at them, and they feel reflective of who he is. I have very specific Ty tattoo thoughts that I do not remember at all, but this is the gist of it.

- I think Ty handles the “normal” adventurous stuff, but he’s far more of a, uh... I don’t know, a pussy? than Tony is. Tony deals with actual threats; Ty deals with fake, stupid threats. Ty is the guy who rids the dorms of cockroaches when Tony’s too afraid to and Tony is the guy who handles home invasions.

- I think the vast majority of Ty’s abuse is emotional/psychological, not only because this is what comes most naturally to him and it’s easy for him to fall into these manipulative tendencies without necessarily thinking about it, but also because physical abuse would cross a line for him in his head that would be very difficult to ignore. I think, if you take into consideration how volatile he seems, his flip-flopping back and forth between how he feels about both himself and Tony could become more exaggerated and more severe, possibly leading to an irreversible breakdown of his psyche. I think there could very well be an, “Oh, I’ve become my father” moment if that were to happen, which is exactly why it doesn’t happen. Ty’s too wrapped up in this idea that, so long as he doesn’t cross that line, everything he does can still be justified. Which is garbage.

- Tiberius did not like Sunset Bain. Sunset Bain did not like Tiberius.

There’s a lot more that comes to mind, but this is already upwards of 30 paragraphs, and I, uh. Do not want to make this longer than it already is! So, do with that what you will.

Again, obligatory note here that this is canon-adjacent and canon-inspired, but not an analysis of canon material in the sense that I’m attempting to pick apart what the intents of the writers were. What canon provides is much more straightforward. These are headcanons, this is for funsies, and a lot of less important background details have been tweaked for the sake of the narratives that I, as a fanfic writer, would like to write and see written.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was legitimately so nice to write. I rarely ever get to spam about this, which is very likely why there’s just so much text every time I receive an ask like this, but. Again, it was very nice and I’m very grateful for you, anon.

#obligatory note here asking people to please not come into my askbox telling me about how much they hate-#- even the slightest implication that there might possibly be a single abuser out there not 100% rotten to their core #i have received. a lot of asks like this #and again as a victim of abuse whose views do not align with this it is so so so distressing to receive these #once more i am not saying anyone is wrong to believe what they believe #or to process things how they process things #but please please please don't ask me again and again to explain why exactly it is so draining for me to respond to these asks #you are valid! you deserve health and recovery and happiness and you need to do what you need to do to get that!#but please extend the same kindness to me and allow me to have my little corner of fandom wherein i also am able to find myself represented #tiberius stone #tony stark #cassks #abuse tw #abuse #child abuse tw #child abuse #long post #tyny

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willow-salix · 4 years

Text

Another work of the genius that is my kid. She wrote this, I'm just sharing it. Revel in the awesomeness of this...

[AU] Four of the Tracy Brothers are all adopted by Jeff after being orphaned when he is unable to save their parents during rescues from the VERY early days of International Rescue (yeah I know the canon but whatever this is an au). Also this is total trash but I'm too lazy to write this proper proper so here ~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

SCOTT: The first of the boys to get adopted by Papa Jeff is originally from Scotland (Scott-Land), and was orphaned after the tail end of a hurricane left his family home as nothing more than a pile of rubble - and since it wasn't anticipated, the extent of the damage done wasn't heard about until later, after a series of rescues in higher risk locations. By that time, it was too late. When J.T. finally got to the scene, he spent a few hours sifting through the debris for any survivors. By the time the sun had set, seven bodies had been discovered and he was giving up hope, until he heard the unmistakable sound of a baby crying. Wading through to where the nursery used to be, as if by some miracle, there was a perfectly in-tact crib and an infant inside, blocked from the destruction by a large ceiling tile that had fallen, and effectively acted as a shield as the rest of the home toppled down around them. Jeff took the baby in his arms and rushed to the basecamp, refusing to let go of the child during his check-up and the search for any living relatives for him to go to; but all of his living relatives were in the same house, and the little boy had nowhere to go. As J-Dog looked down at those big blue goo-goo eyes, he felt an overpowering sense of guilt, before it was replaced by total determination. He couldn't save his family, so the least he could do was give him a new one - and that's exactly what he did.

VIRGIL: The pilot of the mean, green, thicc flying machine gained all of his culture and artistic tendencies from his country of birth, Italy. A heavy rainstorm saw the canals of Venice break their banks and caused floods throughout the city (it would take them three years to get over it entirely). When Jazzy Jeff arrived, it was a matter of evacuating everyone and minimising the amount of accidents/casualties as much as possible. As roads cracked and buildings became submerged more and more with every passing second, the evacuation order soon developed into a time-sensitive rescue mission. By the time he finally reached Virgil's family, their car was teetering on the edge of a broken road, under which was several feet of water. They handed their newborn son over to him, only just in time before the concrete gave way and the car fell into the murky depths. Another member of the crew attempted to rescue them as Jeff held the child, deja-vu hitting him when his teammate came back to the surface and mournfully shook his head. They were unable to get them out in time, and, same as last time, there were no relatives to take the boy. Ever since the mother handed her son over to Jeff, he had felt a sense of responsibility over the welfare of the child. One look at the chonky little thing confirmed what he had been feeling in his heart all along: Scott now had a brother.

JOHN: Irish-born John's adoption was a little different to the other two, but a rescue all the same. Big Daddy J had a conference in the Emerald Isle, and on his way back to his hotel the same night, he came across a car that had crashed into a tree on a fairly deserted road. The only survivor was in the back seat, and was the toddler son of the two adults in the front. The child was old enough to be semi-aware of what was going on around him, so while Jeff attempted to remove him from the wreckage, he told him to "just do one thing" for him - "look at the stars, just look at the stars". The blonde boy did so obediently, and as they waited for the emergency services to arrive, he told the tot about all of his adventures in space. Even though he probably didn't understand what he was saying, tiny John was still absolutely hooked. Once at the hospital, the parents were confirmed deceased and further checks revealed that his grandparents were unable to look after him. Just because he wasn't wanted by his family, however, didn't mean he wasn't wanted by others. After cancelling his flight back the next day, Jeff once again went through all the necessary steps. When he returned back to America, his seven-year-old and his four-year-old were greeted with their new brother, and his wife and mother with a new son and grandson, respectively.

GORDON: Born and raised in Australia, Gordon's parents were adventurers that never seemed the type to settle down and stay in one place for one time. When International Rescue was called for an outback recovery, it seemed like a stupid prank when the campsite the call originated from was found to be empty. The fire had burnt out, several items had just simply been discarded on the floor, and it appeared that the tents were empty at first glance - but on closer inspection, it revealed that the bundle of cloth in the corner was actually a sleeping baby. They waited for any other people to arrive, but after a few hours, decided to take the baby to the hospital. With no records of him, there wasn't much they could do except confirm that he was healthy. All it took was one look into those big, brown, cow-like eyes and Jeffo knew that for the fourth time in ten years he was bringing home another baby.

ALAN: The youngest son, and the only biological one of Jeff and Lucille. When they first learnt of his conception, they were quick to assure the other boys that they weren't any less special than him because they weren't related by blood. The only response they recieved came from an eleven-year-old Scott remarking that yeah, they knew, because they had been chosen, which made it even more special. Each of the boys came from different backgrounds, but thanks to Jeff and his "Batman Syndrome", they were all united as a single family (until Lucille died and shit went down). The End.

BONUS: After rescuing Buddy and Ellie for the umpteenth time, they and Gordon dissolved into small talk as Virgil flew them home in Thunderbird Two. It was the first time they had rescued them in Australia, and the second-youngest Tracy couldn't help but notice that there was something odd about the couple's demeanour this time around. Usually, they were high-spirited after a rescue, talking about their next dangerous adventure or the new season of their show. They still spoke with a certain degree of excitement, but their hands were interlocked on Buddy's knee, and there was something that looked like... sadness? in both of their eyes when they looked at each other. Eventually, he couldn't help himself. "Hey, listen, I know it's not my place to ask, but... are you two alright?" Buddy opened his mouth to respond, but he was quickly interrupted. "I don't mean because of the rescue. I mean that you two are just acting a little - well, different."

Before he could make another comment about it 'not being his place to ask', Ellie gave a wan smile and sighed, ducking her head for a moment. "It's nothing. Only - the last time we were out in that direction, we had to call International Rescue out, too. It was a long time ago, when we were just starting out. I think it was when you were just starting out, too."

Gordon glanced over to Virgil, who reminded him that "International Rescue existed before us, remember?". He nodded before looking back to Ellie; a silent invitation for her to continue her story. Buddy's hand tightened around hers, and she sighed again.

"We had set up camp, had a fire going and was starting to unpack when the wind picked up. It just started latching onto everything, and soon there was this massive dust storm. We tried to stay together, radio'd for help, but we couldn't see anything, we just couldn't. There was no way that International Rescue could have gotten to us, but we didn't care. We just wanted-"

"We wanted them to save our son." Buddy finished for his wife. Gordon nodded, but internally, he was shocked. He had no idea that they had a child. He was about to ask, when Buddy started to talk again. His voice was steady despite the slight waver in it, and his eyes seemed glassy. "He was only young, so - small. We left him in the tent for shelter, tried to find a way to signal for the ship if we could. We didn't even realise we had been walking, until the storm died down and we found that we were nowhere near our camp. And when we got back..."

"Little Stevie was gone." Ellie whispered. "That was our boy, Stevie. Steve. And he was gone."

"What was the year?" Gordon found himself asking, his throat dry. The reply was instant, and it made him swallow heavily to try and remove the lump from his throat. Their dad - Jeff - had never kept anything from them about the way they came to the family. Buddy and Ellie's story, along with the recollection from Jeff and the date... there was only one conclusive answer.

Before he could stop himself, he blurted it out. "I think I'm your son."

#Most awesome teen in the world #Parenting win #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds au #fan fic stuff #fan fic writing #fan fiction #fan fic ideas

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danganronpa-21 · 4 years

Text

Naegiri Week Day 4: Plant

I’m only posting this like four minutes late; it still counts as day four... and other things I tell myself to avoid my shame. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one. I had a bit of trouble writing it, but the basic premise is about Makoto & Kyoko working through life changes together.

Warning for animal death.... I know. I’m sorry.

______________

Makoto and Kyoko had had another child, before the others.

Before Seiko, before Koichi, before even Hope. Once upon a time, there was a fourth child, with dusty silver hair and piercing amber eyes. A girl that they’d found on the streets; one that they adopted into their home.

Before they had their own kids, Makoto and Kyoko had Kimi.

Now, strictly speaking, Kimi wasn’t a legitimate child. In fact, she was quite old. She must have been about thirteen when they found her, crouching under an overhang in the rain. The poor thing was freezing cold, water dripping from her shivering body. They could see the tremors that overtook her, yet when Kyoko reached her hand out, she pulled away in fear. The apocalypse clearly had not been kind to the poor girl, for she shied away so quickly from their attempts at friendship. Even as the years went by, and Kyoko’s belly swelled with the presence of her first child, she recalled the way she and Makoto looked at each other that night. How that wordless questioning led to a very happy life for her.

Truth be told, having Kimi wasn’t the same as having a little girl of her own. Sure, her presence became good practice in some ways, but it wasn’t really the same thing. For starters, where children brought the little patter of feet, Kimi brought the pattering of paws. Cat paws, to be specific.

A thirteen year old gray nebelung was Makoto and Kyoko’s first baby. Well… maybe more of Kyoko’s first baby, by just a hair. Much as Makoto loved Kimi, the two of them spent plenty of time quarreling. She could still remember the way they’d argue; always about something different. Sometimes about where it was appropriate for Kimi to pee, or what objects she should knock off the countertops… but nothing beat where Kimi should sleep.

There was nothing quite like hearing her husband whisper-yelling in the middle of the night. There were quite a few nights where her eyes would flutter open to reveal a new quarrel between man and cat, and she’d simply have to put up with it. If she closed her eyes, her brain could still paint the picture. The fat grey cat in her husband’s hands, mewling in frustration at him. She wriggled like a worm to escape his grasp, but he always refused it. Makoto was always holding her, and always panting slightly.

“For the last time, Kimi,” It was his scolding voice he used, the same one his misbehaving students got, “That is my face. I know you want to sleep on it, but if you do that, I can’t breathe.”

Kimi hissed in response, and Makoto jerked his head back in surprise. In the most accusatory tone he muster, he retorted to her: “Hey! Don’t you take that tone with me!”

She chuckled at the memory. Kimi was always funny like that. Always getting into trouble, and sleeping in the weirdest places. There was even one time, shortly after she found out about her pregnancy, that they’d thought she slipped out in the middle of the night. The couple searched the house in a tizzy; both of them near tears at the thought of losing their beloved pet. They searched for about half an hour until Kyoko, wrought with anxiety, found Kimi napping in one of the laundry baskets. Oh, how they’d snuggled and patted the little kitty when they’d found her. And the treats? She swore the already plump cat gained five pounds that day.

Thinking about their first baby now; she couldn’t deny how hard it was. Though they were only a month away with the actual byproduct of their love, Kyoko still longed for Kimi. To feel her soft fur beneath her fingers, and the purrs that rolled out from her throat effortlessly. The way Kimi would brush up against her when she was sad had been so soothing during so many trying times. Whether it was the series of arguments she and Makoto got into at the beginning of their engagement, or the woes of carrying a child she couldn’t comprehend… Kimi cuddled and supported Kyoko through all of it. She was always around with a helpful head bonk and a nuzzling of her cheek. There could be no tears when noble little Kimi was around.

What Kyoko remembered most about her, though, was the way she kept the baby warm. Yes, for whatever reason, the pregnancy awoke almost a caring instinct within the cat. The moment she caught wind of her owner’s expanding belly, she took to curling up on it and later around it. At first, they thought maybe it was just a matter of where was most comfortable to sleep — like the way she always tried to drift off on Makoto’s face. However, as time went on and her stomach grew, they noticed it was a routine thing. Whenever Kyoko grew stressed or upset, Kimi would come plodding over and hop up for a belly snuggle.

“She must just know,” Makoto had said, reaching down to stroke her as she slept, “She’s got a sibling to protect.”

A sibling to protect.

Makoto was awfully attached to that idea. It seemed at every turn he brought it up; chatting eagerly to her about the way the two might get along. Somehow, apart from the baby names and the personalities it could have, this was a thought that Makoto’s mind favoured. The relationship their kid would have to their cat. There had had many a conversation about it; one in particular she liked to reminisce about.

It was when she was about five months; she remembered it from the way the weight showed on her stomach. They were curled up in front of their TV, watching some comedy film she didn’t really find funny. His hand placed on her belly, waiting patiently to see if their daughter would kick. Kimi curled herself up in his lap; the next best spot after Kyoko’s lap. She liked the heat that emanated from Makoto’s body best.

“You know, Makoto, I’ve been thinking… and I realized that having this baby… it is almost as if we are experiencing a new beginning. A new chapter in our lives.”

He nodded, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “I feel like that too,” He murmured into her hair, “Like we’ve been given a gift by fate.”

A gift by fate, she thought. She supposed it was a good way to look at having a baby. After all the trouble they saw in their lives, she wagered that they deserved a gift of life to call their own. Someone to care and nurture for. Someone to bring hope into their world by doing nothing but being themselves.

“Exactly. A gift by a fate… but one that will ultimately change our lives. Everything is going to be so… so different now.”

“Is different okay?”

“Different is wonderful,” She assured him, resting her head on his shoulder, “It just means that we’ll likely have much to adapt to. Every aspect of our lives right down to Kimi will need be altered.”

To this, Makoto chuckled, and reached a hand down to pet Kimi. The feline responded with a pleased purr, urging him to scratch at her favourite spots. Based on the placement of his hand, he was in prime ear scratching position. “I don’t think we have to worry about Kimi too much,” He laughed, “She’s going to be the best big sister in the world. Aren’t you, Kimi? That’s why you’re our good girl!”

A cute mew escaped Kimi’s mouth at the praise. Somehow she always knew when she was being called a good girl. Makoto’s tendency to use his baby voice probably helped, Kyoko imagined.

“A big sister, huh…”

“Yeah! Just think of the way the two of them will play together! The two of them chasing our feet under the covers, and gently bopping each other on the nose! Our son or daughter will love doing that stuff with her! Kimi can even teach them about the world. She’ll be amazing.”

Kyoko fought off the frown that threatened to consume her when his words echoed in her mind. The hope was that their cat would be able to meet their baby, and do so many of those cute things… But fate stole that away from them.

Somewhere within the last two months or so of Kyoko’s pregnancy, Kimi started acting strangely. At first, it was a simple matter of hiding. Rather than rushing to the door and mewling excitedly at them when they returned home, it seemed as if she ran and hid at the first sign of them. She dove under beds and dressers, snuck behind the refrigerator and the dryer, and even returned to her laundry basket hiding spot. What was worse, though, was that she seemed irritable every time they found her. It was as if when they were there, she wished only for them to go away. She detested them for pulling her out of her hiding spots, and did not hesitate to show it.

Eventually her behaviour began to shift even further; before they knew it, she changed completely. Soon, the feral turned sociable sweetheart they knew became a reclusive being of bitterness. Whenever they walked through the door, she wanted little to do with them. She became irritated if they tried to touch her, and wanted to be independent from them at all costs. Even when she would wake up in the middle of the night wheezing and nearly unable to breathe, she scorned them. She would hiss and swat at Makoto when he tried to give her the medication to treat it. It was as if she suddenly didn’t care for them at all.

The couple couldn’t understand why their once loving companion had suddenly turned against them. Despite her originally being feral and wary, Kimi warmed up to them right away. They were her humans, and she’d always loved them. She would cuddle them when they were sad, play with them when they were bored, and try to feed them when she thought they were hungry. Kimi never acted like this prior to those last few months, and the thought scared them half to death. At the time, they were wondering if she intended to gear up to run away. They didn’t think that she could really be dying. They didn’t realize that it had been three years since they picked her up off that despairful road, and that being sixteen years old meant that Kimi was old.

The whole thing only became clear to them when she stopped eating. God, Kyoko would admit that she bawled when that happened. But she’d always preface that when it occurred, she was seven months pregnant and dealing with insane baby hormones. So, you know, the crying like a little girl was understandable for the typically stoic detective. And, to be fair, Makoto cried too, but he had no “excuses”. He was just an emotional guy.

Her heart stung when she reflected back on the moments she spent next to Kimi and her bowl; her face stained with tears. She could remember the way her lip trembled and her hands shook, and the way Kimi stared at her as if she didn’t know what to do.

“Why will you not eat?” She asked the feline, sniffling. Cautiously, she reached a hand over to pat her head, only to have her recoil from her touch. The movement only made the heavily pregnant detective cry harder. “Please, Kimi.”

Her husband’s hand found a place on her shoulder. She had been so distraught that her first desire was to shove it off, but she dismissed it. He sought only to help her, that much she knew well.

“I think we should take her to see someone.” He said, his voice soft and caring, like he feared his every word would make her upset. She could hear the way he tried to hide its tremble. “Apparently there’s a former vet operating in the marketplace that’s pretty good. We could take her to see him… see if we can get her to eat.”

She smiled slightly, wiping at her wet eyes with the back of her hand. In a way, she kind of liked the way he used “we”. It made her realize that she wasn’t totally alone in the way this made her feel. He was going through it just as much as she. It was the way he phrased things again, after the vet told them the news.

“So what do we want to do?”

They were both crying then; totally shamelessly, too. Snot dripping from their noses and tears smeared across their faces and the wails of anguish at knowing this was coming. The whole nine yards. She remembered that he’d tried to keep it together for her at first, fighting off the tears to ask the vet for time to think about it. However, the moment the vet freed Makoto of his burdening presence, he broke down.

“What can we do?” Kyoko whimpered, pitifully attempting to catch her breath between sobs. “She’s dying. If we keep her alive, she suffers until she dies. You heard what he said, she’s old and sore…”

Makoto sniffled, wiping snot on the back of his hand. Still as gross as it was the first four times he did it, she remarked internally to herself. But now was not the time for snarky statements. They were grieving.

“B-But if we choose to put her down, then w-w-we… we have to say goodbye.”

She nodded. “I know… I know…”

“God,” Makoto murmured, clutching at the fabric of his jeans and scrunching it up, “I forgot how hard this is… Holding the decision of another being’s life in your hands…”

Kyoko didn’t have the words to answer that statement. Though the killing game’s trials were not comparable to the decision to euthanize their pet, they still held the same emotion. She could remember feeling something like this, when Junko decided it was Sakura’s turn to go.

“I… I t-thought this was supposed to be our new beginning… I thought we were supposed to be done with making choices like this, and we could just… g-go on being happy for once!”

“I know…” was the only thing Kyoko could think to say. It was something that Makoto shook his head to. “I know…”

“I don’t want her to be in pain, b-b-but… I’ll miss her when she’s gone.”

When she’s gone, Kyoko thought. When she no longer curls up on my belly, or pushes Makoto’s glasses off the counter. When she doesn’t pee on the cabinets when we leave her for too long, or poke her head in on me while I’m in the shower. It seemed so unthinkable that some day soon, Kimi might be gone.

_____________

They buried Kimi in their garden seven years ago, next to a little birch sapling. To give her the new beginning she promised.

Over the years, that beginning grew. It grew and grew into a powerful tree. It was long, and tall, with a white trunk and olive green leaves. A very proud tree, for a very proud cat, who had her little sister hanging upside from her branches like a monkey.

“Look at me, Koichi! Look! I’m up so high!” The little girl giggled, swinging back and forth like an acrobat preparing to make a great landing. “Bet you can’t do this!”

From further down, the voice of Kimi’s little brother sounded. “I don’t think I want to,” He whimpered, “That looks so scary, Hope! What if you fall?”

“I’ll be fine!” She brushed some of her hair away from her face with her free hand, “This is Kimi’s tree, remember? Mommy and Daddy planted it for her! That’s why as long as I’m up here, I’m totally safe!”

Kyoko could do little more than fold her arms frustratedly when she caught this sight. Though she adored that her daughter knew the story behind the tree, her son was right. Hanging from the tree like that was far too dangerous to be okay.

“Hope, come on! Get down from there!”

Her daughter immediately started to whine. “But Mooooooommy…! How am I supposed to be a great gymnast some day if I can’t do stuff like this?”

She opened her mouth to protest the girl, but thankfully, her husband swooped in to take charge. He was already halfway up the tree, trying to apprehend the overly eager seven year old. It was hard not to snicker at his determination… or at the way his feet would slip ever so slightly when he stepped wrong.

“You can practice on Friday, when you’re at the gym, pumpkin. It’s not safe to do it here.”

“But what about Kimi? I thought you said she was like our family’s protector spirit, and that we could play together.”

Kyoko chuckled softly. She did like the way he told that story. And it seemed like her daughter did, too.

“Of course she is,” Makoto said, finally climbing up close enough to swing his daughter into a safer position in the tree, “And she told me that she wants you to practice on Friday, because we planted her to play safely with you.”

Hope’s lower lip stuck out in a pout, but she obliged, taking hold of the branch tightly. The sight made her mother sigh with immediate relief. Life was so much more comfortable when she wasn’t anticipating her children’s next disaster, but she supposed it was more interesting that way.

And she and Makoto had Kimi to thank for that.

#Naegiri2019 #Naegiri #Danganronpa #Thh #Kyoko Kirigiri #Makoto Naegi #DR1 #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #fanfiction #kyouko kirigiri #kirigiri kyoko #naegi makoto #hope naegi-kirigiri #koichi naegi-kirigiri #oh surprise i found some way to put my fankids in it... who expected that #fun fact they actually weren't originally going to be in it

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birdlingstarot · 4 years

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hi dear birdling!! if it’s possible, can i ask how i was like in my past life? just curious! thank youu -y💕

Hello 🌻 y💕!

A little birdie told me this 🕊

What represents you in the past life? The Child

Immediately, we could tell that you are a young soul in your past life, to put it into human age, it would be like a young teen. You were confused yet had this lonely and serene feeling. Likely, you are intuitive in your past life and though young, knew much more intuitively wise.

You could had felt alienated in your past life due to your high level intuition. In addition, you might had troubles identifying your emotions and how you should feel in your past life as you wished to be like the others. However, it felt that you, yourself felt that you had not have succeeded with the people around your age.

You could had been an older sister in your family - either the only child or the oldest, you could have had one or two younger sisters. I also felt that you could had been born from a lower-middle class family. Your family consists of your grandparents, parents and one to three children, likely all female.

You had good relationships with the elderly, especially female elderly, likely your grandmother. Your grandmother could had been the one to fill in the motherly or parental figure in your past life due to both your parents working. I felt that in your past life, you could had felt only close to your grandmother.

You were a quiet person to others, introverted. However, you possessed a child-like curiosity. In fact, you had been questioning yourself as to why the world, society and people work the way they were. It felt that you had an ideal world in your mind on how the world, society and people should work, with kindness, honesty etc.

As you grew older, the questions had not stopped and in fact, you had continued questioning them, holding on to your ideal world and feeling helpless to change the life and environment around you to become closer to your ideal.

I felt that you had volunteered in your past life, especially either in the elderly home or the orphanage. You were likely an empath in your past life and that you had a naturally nurturing personality.

You might not have given birth to your own children but took care of an orphanage. Either that or you had adopted children. Note: childREN.

One area you had trouble with other than your emotions were from peer pressure. I felt that you are a people pleaser, thus there are many times where you had done something for others unwillingly, though nothing illegal.

The environment you were born in in your past life were like that of a village, those wooden / straw huts - similar to Kampung Village. It has a hot climate.

You could had been born in July or the 7th of a month.

How does others perceive you in your past life? Wild Woman

Generally, you had an unique direction that you take in your past life. Not in the way that you pursue an uncommon path but the way you do things and find joy in them.

Others felt that you had a very different view of the world and due to your child-like wonder, they felt that some actions that you had performed were out of the blue, such as playing a game by yourself or just having fun during farming.

You could had been working in a farm, planting crops by hand and taking care of farm animals, though your main job is taking care of crops.

People can’t seem to understand you and some felt that you had your head in the cloud. However, that is just your nature. This had came about due to the things you say and your intuition which is uncommon in your area, as well as your reaction to certain situations. (You pure child)

You were able to find beauty in things and areas that others could not or couldn’t be bothered about, which made you sad. Since, why live a life where nothing is beautiful???

They felt that they could not control you and that you were out of their reach. There are quite a few that admire you and the nature of you that is just so otherworldly to them. They wanted to get a taste of the joy you feel from mundane tasks, see the beauty that you found which they were unable to.

To them, you were a dancer with your own, unique rhythm, far out of their reach yet so mesmerizing.

Some felt that they were unworthy to be by your side and so leads to three different style of coping with that - Ignoring, Being your friend and Backstabber that spread rumors about you behind your back.

I felt that you had a male life partner with you that had felt inadequate beside you. He loved you and had held you in high regards that he felt that he wasn’t enough for you. In fact, he had an insecurity of you leaving him for someone better than him. He is very shy, stuttering and becoming slightly clumsy in front of you.

Kind of like:

You - It’s hot today, do you want a drink? I can go and buy some.

Him - NONO IT’S OKAY!! I’LL BUY FOR YOU and proceeds to literally walk to a nearby home that sells snacks and drinks, leaving you sitting on a rock or seat somewhere

Him - SH*T! I DIDN’T ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTED!!!! AHHHHH!!!! and proceeds to buy like 5 different bottles of drink and some snacks for the both of you, coming back to you with an apologetic look

He always wants to take care of you although he might not had been the beefiest. (He was kind of skinny… slightly taller than you but skinny) (You love him though ;) ) (Why are yall so cute???)

You enjoyed the nature in your past life, such as taking walks and being lowkey super enthusiastic, especially with flowers, fruits and smol animals, especially birds. You could had wished to be a bird in your past life, to feel free yet secure with your flock.

Kind of like:

You see a flower.

You, Internally, - OMG! THAT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER? WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?? …

You, Externally, - Straight face, unmoving in the middle of the pavement or road.

(Though your man knows you like them!! He just looks at your shining eyes and just feel so soft inside. He will totally push you to taking a closer look if it’s safe while you try to convince him that both of you can continue since it’s not a big deal, but he just wants to see your face light up. Will try to pluck or buy the same flowers for you as soon as possible to surprise you.)

(This is straight out of left field but I feel that both you are afraid of cockroaches. Both of you would be screaming and crying on top of the couch but he will try to destroy that offender with a slipper albeit being scared and jumpy. Will scream with you and hug you on top of the couch why it flies or starts moving) (He’s trying his best) (You love him though)

Others feel that you are good with your hands. You could had a handicraft hobby, like making bracelets, charms, etc. which people love to look at, because aesthetic. It was due to you being more detailed-oriented than time-orientated. (You likely don’t feel that is true but it is 🙄)

In front of strangers or acquaintances, you had a very strong guard over your emotions, which led to you doing things unwillingly and had to endure though.

However, with people you were close to, you were very honest with them regrading your emotions. It felt that you had a small group of close friends, ranging from 3 to 5, and likely to be all females.

How do you perceive yourself in your past life? Soul Retrieval

Due to the fact that you felt lost in your past life, you were on a path of self-discovery. You felt that you did not belong where you live and was in search of your home, your identity, your self and your soul.

In fact, you look towards the past for that. To put it in metaphorical terms, look at the card of Soul Retrieval, you are a butterfly that keeps looking back to the cocoon that you had escaped from and searching for the caterpillar inside.

You take what others say about you very seriously and this could had caused you to become even more confused about the answer that you were searching for. Metaphorically speaking, are you a butterfly? or are you a bird?

Looking at the card, the sun in the background does not look to be a real sun but a fake sun. This comes to me as that you are looking and were guided to look for the answers at the wrong place.

Ask yourself. What is the significance of the answer to you? Do you really need the answers to the questions you are asking? How would it benefit you? Are your questions pushing yourself to bettering yourself or limiting yourself?

You had a tendency to question if what you are doing is right and needed someone to back you up that you are doing right. You gain confidence from what others tell you, which could be troubling in the long run. This could had carried on to your current life as to need a safety net for your every actions and not having confidence in your abilities.

Instead of searching your past, you should direct yourself to searching your heart. What do you truly feel? What do you truly want? Your image of your heart should not depicts what others say about what they want from you. This had been or still is a painful road for you but you should endure through it as what you would gain along the journey and at the end would be very fulfilling to you.

In fact, be truly like the Wild Woman, to be comfortable in your own skin. Be confident in yourself that others’ opinions don’t matter as much. Find what truly makes you you, makes you happy. Don’t feel discouraged by the nonconformity that you are but strut it.

This is probably not the best way to say it but we would all die one day, might as well live a life that makes you the happiest. Who cares if people think you’re crazy? That’s also a way to human.

Some of the questions here and the way you feel from these three questions could had carried on in your current life. The best way to describe is similar to unresolved karma.

What had you learnt in your past life? Is This Me?

Great news! You had learnt part of your identity of yourself. However, I feel that this journey had yet to be fully completed. You had learnt to be confident in some parts of yourself but not all, which leads to you still feeling quite insecure in your current life. You are hesitant in fighting for yourself as you do not fully have confidence in yourself. In fact, you might even had a tendency to let people walk over you but you’re learning! Therefore, you might be able to hold your ground more in your current life than your previous life! Good job!!

I’m not very worried as it seemed that you had a clear idea of what you are striving for within yourself and is able to clearly see what other people offer to you, both the negative and positive. This is part of the reason as to why you are able to be more firm in your standing as you have a strong logic to back up your reasoning and actions.

This does not mean that you are not an empath, in fact, you have very high emphatic ability. It just means that you closer to achieving a balance between being an empath and not being one. In your past life, you were very emotionally drained by the people around you or those that seeks you out due to your nurturing aura. You could be dealing with similar situations in your current life that emotionally drains you but it’s better compared to your past life. Keep it up!

There could be a battle between your intuition and root of yourself with your heart regarding this issue. As a part of you wants to help the other party as much as you could while the other part of you knows how it will end for you and/or the other party. This is something that you were struggling with in your past life which could also bring forth into your current life. However, I am seeing that you would learn to trust your intuition more and learn to fight for yourself to ensure that you are in a better state of mind.

As you would know that the best person to help an unstable person is a stable one. If you would like to help someone, ask yourself if you are in a ground stable enough to deal with the quake the other person might bring. If you are unstable as well, it’s going to be an earthquake and basically sh*t will go wrong, resulting in hurt for both of you.

You have a vulnerable yet strong feminine energy that you could further energize in your current life. To put it in a simpler form is that you have the potential to become a strong, independent feminine entity that is comfortable with her vulnerability which is very charming yet hard to achieve but you have a great potential in that! So no worries!

Don’t worry about the tears and pain of the journey. In fact, you would be able to learn from them. This is also part of the charm of the feminine entity, to rise not below nor above, but the rise with the tears and pain which had incorporate with who you are.

Since you learn to rise with the tears and pain, this helps to keep you grounded and keep your kind heart open to others, which is beautiful.

Three areas of her identity that you had learnt in your past life:

1. Frog Spirit; Clear out the clutter

Straightforward, isn’t it. You learnt to be able to identity what you need and what you don’t as well as to rid yourself of the parts that you do not need in your life.

You had learnt in your past life how to word your sentences so that people were not offended by you. In fact, you are able to show your empathy through your words, tone and way of speaking. This also helps you in clearing out what you do not require in your life at that moment as likely, you would be able to end terms on a neutral or high note.

This would had carried on to your current life that you are able to word your sentences kindly and that you have a low possibility to hurt others with your words unknowingly.

You had also learnt to align what you speak and believe, which result in a strong backbone in how people are able to perceive and feel that what you say to them are genuine which allows you the ability to both help and mend relationships. In your current life, you could find yourself being able to mend relationships you thought were impossible as well.

Your heart chakra is very strong and is very open! You may be a predominantly heart chakra person.

2. Electric Eel Spirit; Bring your ideas to life

You had learnt to make your ideal a reality. This also back up the fact that you have a way with words that is able to charge the areas around you and change the current to what you want.

However, be careful as to becoming too cunning with your words to get people to do what you want as people would realise sooner or later that you are not genuine which would become disadvantageous to you. Paralyzing and poisoning your relationship with others.

In fact, with your words, you are able to slip out of many difficult situation.

In addition, you had learnt to work well under slight pressure or changes in situation as to not become stagnant. However, you might not be able to do well under very high pressure so do note to take care of yourself and release stress. In fact, what you listen to could really help you in this area. If you are feeling particularly stressed, you might want to listen to slow and soft music or sounds and vice versa if you are feeling particularly stagnant.

Similar to how the card is portrayed, you work well in situations with a little spark.

3. Dolphin Spirit; This and that are true

You had learnt that there are multiple truths to a situation and accepted that. To explain this better, if you were to put a cup on a table and asked which side is the handle on, people standing around the table would have different answers and they are all correct.

Knowing this fact, you are able to accept different situations and views of others easier than others. This had also help you accept yourself and bring light into what was once dark and unknown to you. This might had become something that you intuitively know.

In addition, this had helped you heal past scars.

In fact, you would intuitively know how to kindly word a sentence to tell someone and even if you had to burst their bubble, you would be able to word your sentences that would minimise the negative impact of bursting the bubble for others.

What is something that you had not yet completely learnt that had been brought forth into your current life? Temperance

In your past life, you had not yet completely learnt to balance things in your life, which is likely referring how you perceived yourself and your empathy.

You have trouble refusing to help others and tend to let others overwhelm you with their issues, which could lead to them using you as an emotional punching bag.

You had yet to set a good balance between helping others and helping yourself. Please remember that you do not own others anything and that you are not obliged to help them.

Remember that you, yourself is someone that needs help sometimes and that you should help others when it helps you as well. Not well it affects you to the point of emotionally draining you.

You should learnt to be limiting of who you let enter your comfort. To protect the little home you have within yourself that makes you feel safest and relaxed. You, yourself, is a sacred place for yourself and others, if others and even you do not respect that, you are bound to get hurt.

You are able to intuitively know when something’s amiss so trust that and work on it. You should deal with the weeds as soon as possible to the sacred garden within you.

Similar to the lady in the card, you do not need to show full empathy to others. Trust your intuition and decide if you were to open the door to your little comfy home to others.

Another area that you had yet to completely learn in your past life is being able to emotionally support yourself.

Currently, you are like a daisy, you need water (emotions) from others regularly to identity yourself.

Instead, you should learn to be like a catus who can go for a long time without water (emotions) from others.

This might be referring to a need for others to regularly validate you. Instead of turning to others for to validate yourself, you should learnt to validate yourself. This would build up the confidence to stand firm in your ground.

In addition, like the catus, have small spikes that protect yourself from others. You do not need to shoot your spikes if they are at a comfortable distance away, only when they get too close for your comfort. To put it plainly, is to set a boundary for yourself and others and abide by it.

Similar to a plant, you would be ever-changing. At different situation of you life, you can change the set boundaries.

What is your current situation? What is your current health? What are you willing to put up with? What are you NOT willing to put up with?

These are some questions you would need to ask prior to diving into helping others.

Is there anything you would like to tell me regarding 🌻 y💕 ‘s past life? Vertigo; Whatever you choose will be correct

You might be too concerned with what happened in your past.

In fact, we are telling you that you do not have to worry too much about your route from the past life or in this current life as everything you choose would be correct.

This could apply to your current life as it seems that you are trying to get more information to make a decision. We are telling you that everything will be okay. Whether you choose a well-walked path or a path that no one walked before, your choice is correct.

To be confident in yourself as you have many opportunities for you to take. Even if one particular path is blocked or disappeared in your life, there are still others. To not worry as the divine spirit guides are protecting you and helping you through.

In addition, every situations have more than infinity ways to handle and that each of them are correct. If you choose to help? It’s the correct action. If you choose not to? Yeap, it’s correct.

Overall, you are a young empath that is trying to get through life in both your past and current life. In fact, you current self is closer to how you are in your past life than you might think!

We hope this had helped you, 🌻 y💕!

For now, the little birdie shall return home 🏡 ~ Ring our doorbell whenever!

Rest well 💤 ~

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olivecave · 6 years

Text

My take on Bakudeku

Disclaimer before we begin: I am not a Bakugo hater. I am not saying I hate Bakugo. I am not. I love his character, the character development he is getting is wonderful and I am excited to see where his character goes in the future.

I also am not saying you are NOT ALLOWED to ship Bakudeku... If you want to, so be it, I can’t stop you, HAVE FUN! :)

However, what I am saying is I hate the ship “BakuDeku” and I’ll be highlighting a few points that explains my thoughts properly. It’s a bit of a mess, so bare with me… Also, if you love Bakudeku, just don’t read this, okay? Because it’ll just upset you…

Bakugo’s hatred of Izuku is born from the paranoid idea that Izuku has always looked down on Bakugo, (or the selfish thought that Bakugo should be the only strong one, considering Izuku’s Quirklessness).

Izuku wishes he could be friends with Bakugo again, saying they used to be friends when they were young.

Yes. They were friend’s when they were maybe 6 years old, and that’s when Bakugo decided to hate Izuku. After that, I assume the spiteful teasing started. Izuku is now 16, there is no way that a strong enough friendship could have been built in (lets say they met in JK, so, 4 year olds) two years that Izuku wants to hold onto.

When a child is bullied, usually having a support system is an important part of combatting the trauma that comes from that. If a child is being bullied and teased, it may cause dark and sad thoughts to form in their head about themselves that can have drastic repercussions in the future. However, if the child has a support system, such as friends or a care giver that is understanding and will listen, it can drastically decrease the damage done.

Unfortunately for Izuku, not only did Bakugo bully him, but he alienated him from the rest of the class, (probably from the whole school considering we never see Izuku with anyone) preventing Izuku from building a steady support network. This means that Izuku could never confide or find solace with friends, because Bakugo made sure to get rid of any help Izuku could receive. Part of that probably being people were too scared to go against Bakugo’s wishes.

Bakugo not only physically assaults Izuku with his explosive Quirk, (blowing up his notebook, beating him up constantly, probably using his Quirk to do so) but also verbally, when he tells Izuku to “Take a swan dive off the roof” AKA kill himself.

After all that abuse and trauma, I am surprised that Izuku would want anything to do with Bakugo. However, anime tends to glorify certain traits in people while completely ignoring all the bad things they’ve done.

“They may have bombed that orphanage on purpose, but they understood that those children would never be adopted anyways and took the most logical option to stop the bad guys. Plus, they are trying their hardest everyday to gain a better control over their Quirk, and they want to be the top hero so they can be more powerful than everyone else… And I just have to admire their drive and unbreakable will to succeed. That’s why I forgive them for breaking both my legs and leaving me crippled.”

Of course I’m being hyperbolic, but I just want to drive home Izuku’s unfaltering (and quite honestly misplaced) reverence for Bakugo.

BakuDeku is an abusive ship. No one can shift or shape their canon relationship into something remotely romantic.

A large and frightening problem I also see in the fandom is the fan art they produce.

In most BakuDeku comics I’ve seen, it usually depicts one of the following:

Bakugo: *Sleeping* Deku: Looks scared and slowly, nervously approaches him, quickly giving him a kiss or petting his hair. Bakugo: *Wakes up* and EITHER blows up and screams or punches Deku, OR looks angry before pulling Deku to him again for another kiss or to snuggle. Deku: *Reacts with fear* THE END LOL SO CUTE SO FUNNY

Now, while some fan art actually is cute, what is not cute at all is the fact that people seem to miss the fact that a person SHOULD NOT be terrified of being hit or punched for kissing or snuggling with their significant other. That is a huge sign of an abusive situation.

Most other art I see has some form of angry Bakugo, unhappy or annoyed. Or, extremely fetishized art of the two of them, but I don’t think I need to explain why that is bad.

I also see some people trying to defend Bakugo’s actions by saying that he was abused by his mother and that taught him his own abusive tendencies. I will say, I do believe he got his hot headed personality from his mother, however I do not think what his mother does would be considered abuse. That is just my own personal opinion from experience and story context, so I understand if anyone disagrees and I respect that, we all have our own stories.

The main point here is that in our society nowadays we have moved away from the idea that “a bully is a bully because he was bullied first, so try to be nice to him and understand what he’s going through.” because that is a self destructive thing to think. Just because he had a hard life, does not mean he has the right to make your life a living hell as well.

Below I went through a list of common signs that you may be in an Abusive relationship and highlighted ONLY ones that applied to Bakugo and Izuku’s relationship in the CANON universe, not in a romantic relationship.

I ended up with 16 that were NOT highlighted out of 48. All highlighted are references to actual moments in the manga (you can ask if you don’t think one happened, I’ll try to provide you with the scene is took place in.)

I also took a test, answering as honestly as I possibly could, I did not exaggerate anything and kept it once again to their canon relationship, not romantic. The lowest you could get was 0-5, abuse unlikely. The highest you could get was 11 & up, abuse is very likely. I got an 18 in total. If their canon relationship is shown to be that abusive, can you image how bad it’d get if they were in a romantic relationship?

To be clear, I don’t think Bakugo would sexually assault Izuku, I do not think that’s like him at all. Although, anime is gross and if it became canon, they’d probably make some questionable choices. Again, very heavy fetishization.

I’m also leaving out sexual activity because they’re 15-16 and I just don’t want to think about that at all OK????

Ah-hem, anyways…

Izuku now goes to UA and has many friends, giving him a large support network! You can see the difference in his personality, from being scared and quiet, to being with his friends, watching Bakugo blow up with exasperation instead of deep fear. This does not mean past abuse is forgotten. Childhood bullying can have lasting effects on kids for their whole lives (it also had a lasting effect on the bully as well, which is sad).

Now that Izuku has a Quirk and Bakugo and Izuku are forced, in a classroom setting, to work together, I think their broken relationship will at least progress to a mutual sort of respect. However, once again, I do not think it could be applied to a romantic context.

That is why I do not ship Bakudeku. This is simply my opinion and a written version of the jumbled thoughts I’ve had in my head for months now.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #anti-bakudeku #my hero academia #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #deku #my thoughts on bakudeku #my stuff #my posts #rant #sorry for this looooong rant #i might edit this later #bullying #abusive relationships

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saintaugustinerp · 5 years

Photo

Congratulations Alexandra! You have been accepted for the OC role of The Crestfallen with the faceclaim Blanca Padilla. Please be sure to check out the accepted applicants checklist! Also be sure send us a link to your blog within the next twenty-four hours. Welcome to St. Augustine!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name/alias: Alexandra

Age (18+) : 21

Gender/Preferred pronouns: she/her pronouns

Timezone: EST but PST when i’m home for holidays aka Tuesday when I fly home

IN CHARACTER

Character Label: So I really like ‘The Crestfallen’ because of how it ties into Poppy’s sense of hope and then sudden disappointment but since it does have ‘fallen’ in it, I get why it would be weird given her origins with the Fallen Angel, even though they have fairly different meanings, so I’d say maybe ‘The Pariah’? It’s really up to the admins, so whichever you prefer!

Character Name: Poppy Charlotte Northcott

Poppy was the choice of her mother: a Brit, through and through, she’d allowed her husband to choose the name of their first child, but insisted upon naming their second. Her father, naturally, had played up the flower name’s symbolism with regards to soldiers, claiming it was in honour of his daughter’s maternal grandfather, a veteran of the second World War.

Charlotte was in honour of her paternal grandmother, a woman well-known in their community for being a staunch supporter of Connecticut Republicans. She died just after Poppy’s high school graduation, but she’d left a great deal of money to the girl she proclaimed loudly and often to be her favourite granddaughter.

Northcott, of course, was her father’s name, tying her to a family of rather politically-involved, staunchly Catholic Connecticuters, a line which stretched back rather far in the state’s history.

Age (18+): 20

Gender/Pronouns: cis woman, she/her

Desired Faceclaim: Blanca Padilla

Home Town: Greenwich, Connecticut

Three Positive Traits: Kind, faithful, charming

Three Negative Traits: Self-conscious (in the sense that she’s very overly aware of her actions and how she’s perceived, more so than in the sense that she’s not confident), repressed, stubborn

Major: History Major, Art Minor

Year: Second

Quote: “Is she a sinner, or is she a martyr? Some days she cannot remember the difference.”

Character blurb: For the briefest of moments, she is radiant. Clad in a perfectly fitting white sundress, dark hair escaping a bun in the softest tendrils, framing her face as if they’d been styled to do so, she steps off the train and onto the bustling platform. Her footsteps are almost instinctive, with little uncertainty as to their goal, and it is instead her eyes which hold reservations. As she walks, whispers follow her, not overtly, but as she passes, students cluster together, murmuring words you cannot hear — though you’re certain she can. As she draws nearer, making eye contact with what is certainly a familiar face, you can see a spark of hope grow, and then die out, in her expression. Her shoulders sink, almost imperceptibly, and as she draws close enough for you to see the exhaustion on her face, you understand: this is less of a homecoming, more of an ordeal.

Developed Head Canons:

family and youth — Poppy was born to Bridget Alston-Northcott, British socialite turned supportive housewife, and Phillip Northcott, former lawyer, current politician. She was not their first child: Eleanor, born ten years earlier, was a wild-child even at 10, but she adored her little sister, admiring her little fists as they waved in the air. Both girls were raised by their mother, taught to be polite, elegant, and quiet, always subservient to their father, and in the future, their husband. While Poppy, always the softer, gentler of the two sisters, did well in this domain, Eleanor was less of a fan, and it was rather unsurprising when, after a series of expulsions from boarding schools throughout the world, she ran away at age 17, choosing to live with Bridget’s mother, her grandmother, rather than fulfill her parents’ expectations. Poppy grew up with little knowledge of this, having only the vaguest childhood memories of her sister. She was always a perfect child, good at her schoolwork, obedient to her parents, and as her father transitioned from mayor to senator, she was always on display, a doe-eyed, polite little girl who learned how to smile and shake hands, attending church ever Sunday, and winning hearts for herself just as much as they were for her father. She never witnessed any hints of her mother’s frustration, nor any sign of her father’s occasional infidelity, and grew into a young adult that was as much a trophy as she was a daughter. Her parents were firm about their beliefs in theory more so than in action, and so Poppy adopted them, about the sanctity of marriage, about children and the responsibilities of women. From her mother, she learned always to present the perfect image, to stay skinny, to keep her teeth white, to exit cars in ways that prevent wardrobe malfunctions… Her image was everything, and she learned to protect it. Though her views changed a little, particularly in high school, she never questioned her parents openly, reserving physical intimacy for men, and only those she believed she would marry. Though she rebelled against their strict demands in the smallest of ways, attending parties and having fun as any teen would, she was careful to never go too far, never do anything overly wild or illegal, and always showing a smiling face to the world.

(tw: mentions of miscarriage and addiction-shaming in the next two headcanons)

the destruction of her reputation — First was her decision to go to a party in town, not something she ever would have done before she’d witnessed her boyfriend kissing another, but then, perhaps she was owed a little leeway for impulsive decisions, after everything. (It wasn’t like one act of rebellion could have any real lasting consequences…) It surprised her, if she was honest — St. Augustine students had a tendency to look down on the town’s resident youth for their provincialism, but really, they weren’t all bad. Difficult to understand, especially with her rudimentary grasp of Swiss German, and with abysmal taste in alcohol, but what they truly were was different, which was precisely what she needed. No reminders of him, nor of whoever he’d been kissing — god how it shattered her, that he’d cheat on her with someone else — and when she thought of either, the solution was another shot. It’s how she met him, on one of these nights, a scruffy blond, too-tall and awkward as anything, but the way he smiled at her made her feel as though the sun had emerged on a bitter winter day. And the way he touched her, well, it was magical and beautiful, and they both knew it wouldn’t last, but it didn’t matter.

Then was: forgetting to take her birth control a few days in a row, and then losing it in the chaos of a particularly paper-filled week, and then not replacing it — a recipe for disaster, under any circumstances. But that’s when they fell apart, Poppy and this local boy, and so it didn’t matter if she was on the pill or not, because she wasn’t sexually active and so what would be the point? Four months pass, and maybe she gained a little weight, but without her mother there to constantly criticize her body, with studies and internships and her missing classmate and her cheating ex to consider, it was easy to ignore, really, easy to lose herself in the routine of wine and cheese on Sundays and late-night study sessions and everything in between. Maybe she felt ill more than she ever usually did, maybe she had trouble sleeping, developing dark circles under her eyes that never seemed to truly go away, but that was just stress, right?

And lastly, well. It’s May, they have found Frederick’s body, finals are well underway, and so when Poppy began acting oddly during a morning exam, hands shaking and face pale, school gossip acknowledged it, but only just. Trembling, in pain, but incredibly conscious of the room full of her classmates, she finished the exam before going to the infirmary. She’d intended only to find the problem, take some pain medication, and return to her studies, but the nurse, recognizing the pain and bleeding and eager to rule out every possible cause, gave Poppy a pregnancy test, which came out positive. Confused and insistent that she wasn’t pregnant, that she couldn’t be, even in the face of the nurse’s certainty that it was a miscarriage, she simply took the strong pain medication that she was given, and returned to her room. There she lay, curled on her comforter, pale and sweating and terrified, ignoring all of her roommate’s concerns in favour of staring blankly at the ceiling of their room. All too soon it was the evening, and the candlelight vigil for their deceased classmate. Naturally she attended — even ill, with the possibility of something she refused to belief floating around in her mind, there was little question of missing it, and inviting the questions that would draw. In such a small school, Poppy was ever conscious about the way whispers spread, the way any little thing could draw attention, and in these moments she thought of her parents’ teachings on the importance of public appearance.

It would have almost been magical if it hadn’t been so sad, the woods filled with little sparks of light, rows of students illuminated with candles, tears in the eyes of so many, and perhaps flickers of guilt, or shame, in others — though there was little chance of Poppy even noticing any of it. It was as much as she could do to hold a candle, almost swaying, face tight. It was all she could do to keep from passing out, to hold on to consciousness in the face of the dizziness from missing lunch and dinner, and from the medication, and from the stress that threatened to overwhelm her. Chest tight, darkness all around her, and unable to even comprehend any of the words of grief being murmured, someone bumped into her, and that was it. She grabbed the arm of the friend nearest her and explained that she had to leave, that she didn’t give a fuck what it looked like. But her words were far too loud in the moment of silence, voice somehow strong despite the way the world seemed to spin, and when all eyes were drawn to her, Poppy realized she’d made a mistake, and threw up before fainting.

The hospital said, first, allergic reaction to the pain medication, and then, even worse:miscarriage — she’d lost the chance at a child she’d never even known she had, and not even the doctors could tell her why. The alcohol, maybe? The smoking she’d started only to keep from feeling ill in the morning? No matter how many times Poppy pleaded that she hadn’t known, that she hadn’t wanted this to happen, the result was the same: this could have been a child, this could have been… something, and now it wasn’t. Not a soul at Saint Augustine knew, beyond the nurse, and all they’d seen was a dizzy mess of a girl, being sick at a vigil and saying she didn’t give a fuck: it was a catastrophe. And with her stay at the hospital preventing her from returning to school before the end of the year, there was little chance of her preventing the gossip that made its way throughout her classmates. She was branded an addict, a trashy, tragic person who couldn’t even go to a vigil without getting high or being drunk (the rumours varied on substance, but were consistent with their condemnation of her actions). Poppy was pathetic, a joke, and as the hours passed, her reputation as the beautiful, untouchable girl was destroyed. Even her parents heard, kept from the true knowledge of what had truly happened by the privacy she was awarded as an adult, and so rather than return to their home in Connecticut, she was simply shipped off to her grandmother in London, ostensibly to detox before they would do so much as speak to her. Alienated by her family, condemned by her friends, and terrified to even admit to herself that she’d been pregnant, there was little Poppy could do to dispel the gossip, or to defend her actions, and so she, heart-sick and lonely, could do nothing but watch.

the aftermath — Unable to bring herself to tell her parents what had happened: that she’d had sex before marriage, that her wild actions with alcohol and cigarettes had caused her to miscarry a child, that she’d sinned, and sinned to such a horrific extent, she went willingly to London, withdrawn and silent in the face of their fury. Not only had she disgraced herself, she’d damaged their family name; more than one of Saint Augustine’s students had political or media connections, and in-school gossip soon made its way out into the world. Perhaps the seeming addiction of the daughter of a gubernatorial candidate was minimal in the face of a world filled with news, but in their Connecticut community, it was a scandal, and like her sister before her, Poppy was a thing she’d never before been: a disappointment. The implication, though neither of her parents ever explicitly said it, was that if she improved, if she took the summer and made better choices than those she’d made, it was possible for her to return to their family at the next Christmas. If not, well. Her parents would accept the damage done, and she would never see them again, though they’d naturally pay for the remainder of her university. After graduating, her disappearance from their family could be explained away as simply a busy, successful career, and so their image of a perfect family would be repaired, if only a little. There was zero acknowledgement of the possibility of her not returning to Saint Augustine, and distraught as she was, Poppy understood only that if she could not get her addiction under control, she must at least keep it secret: appearance must be everything, as usual.

Her grandmother, a rather severe British woman who disapproved of all of her daughter’s choices, from her parenting to her choice in husband, was also surprisingly more liberal in view than her daughter. She brought in a therapist to talk to Poppy, and though Poppy refused to talk to him, she faced no criticism from her grandmother, only love. She could sense her granddaughter had suffered, though from what (beyond, of course, terrible parental guidance) she was unsure; she knew, though, that Poppy needed love. And so she immediately facilitated a reunion between Poppy and Eleanor, the older sister, thefirst disappointment to the Northcott family. Her older sister was now an openly lesbian artist, her sexuality being the reason for her departure from the intensely Catholic family, and she was rather popular for her sculptures in France. She was also, unsurprisingly, far more accepting of everything Poppy had done. Though she spent the summer with both her grandmother and sister, who were incredibly supportive throughout the ongoing ordeal of gossip and familial expulsion, Poppy still struggled with all that had happened, and it was only towards the end that she admitted she was not an addict, but she was a child-killer. Even this, to her surprise, was met with nothing but love, with both reacting only with tears and hugs. She had done nothing wrong, they told her, only made mistakes that, though they had serious consequences, showed little cruelty or negative character or sin on her part. This, though, Poppy was unable to accept. She had done wrong, and so she was suffering for it.

At the only Saint Augustine’s party she attended during the summer, thrown by a fellow student, for all of the school’s finest who found themselves in the United Kingdom, she was asked about the her addiction, a question to which she responded with a resounding slap, to be documented on video on the private instagram accounts of other attendees, and one which also made the rounds of her classmates, essentially confirming the gossip: that this girl, once so perfect and polite in every action and word, had fallen, and it was undoubtedly a fascinating thing. Though she strove to ignore the gossip, it was difficult, and she dreaded her return to school nonetheless. A letter from her mother, explaining the love she and her father had for Poppy and the way their decision was for the best, only served to confuse her, and make the entire situation even more difficult. Even confession did little to quell her nerves: the priest advised her that she should tell the truth about her sins, and never commit them again, did little but add another conflicting idea to the many in her mind. She was unable to reconcile all these things, unable to decide if the truth, shameful as it was for her and her family, though on occasion, when her hope was the strongest, she wondered if perhaps at school things would go back to normal, if upon seeing her all her friends would return, if her parents would welcome her back to their Connecticut home with open arms. Other nights, she wondered if it would be better to give it all up, to live with her sister, to embrace everything about herself she’d ever denied and hid in order to follow by the rules of her parents. (And with that came the question of her attraction to those who weren’t men: just an added aspect of stress upon everything else, and one that Poppy refused to even consider in light of the already high list of her sins.) Even her return to school brought no reality, and no clarity, and Poppy is still torn between these two variations on a theme, these two potential realities.

her room — When Poppy ‘was ill’, as the school described it, at the end of her sophomore year, she didn’t return to her dorm room and pack up her things for her return home and subsequent move to a single room. An Augustine worker, along with her roommate, more than a little eager to be rid of Poppy’s things, did so instead, sending boxes of clothes with her, but with all room decor packed away for her return. This meant that when she did return, newly friendless and alone, what she found in her new room was boxes of photos. Polaroids, still with blu-tack on their backs, of her with people who now whisper to others when they see her, smirking in amusement. It cuts like a knife, but something in her cannot bear to throw the boxes out. Rather than deal with walls now bare of friends and parents, she has walls covered in art — with prints of Monet’s lilies or abstract tapestries on every wall. One remaining fragment of her life is a pair of photos from the summer, one of her and her sister, as taken by their grandmother, and the other a selfie of the three of them. Her bedding is all soft blues and whites, her bed is stacked high with pillows, and it always smells of vanilla. It truly is her sanctuary, where there is no-one to gossip about her, and there are no expectations but her own.

Plot Ideas:

Specific connection ideas:

a note: I know this sounds a little god-mod-y, but Kayla (Damien’s player) and I are actually friends + we planned this all out, so it’s def okay with them!

Misc:

For her Minor in Art, Poppy is focusing on photography, and while she does prefer still life and landscape photography, she does the occasional portrait. She’s recognizable for having a camera in hand, and this could either lead to a bond with someone else who enjoys photography, or perhaps her photographing someone who very much likes having their picture taken. (I speak from experience when I say it’s difficult at the best of times to get friends to pose for photos, and considering the state of most of Poppy’s friendships, I don’t doubt that she’d take literally anyone’s photo if they were willing to pose for her)

Sure, Poppy is relatively innocent and sweet, but her hopes as they pertained to her first relationship weren’t misplaced. They spent so much time together, and for her to lose her virginity to him, with the thought that they’d get married, wasn’t entirely ridiculous. Still, he did cheat, and it did break her heart, though that was less painful than everything that followed. I’m open to connections here both with her ex or with the person her ex cheated on her with! Poppy doesn’t hate easily, but I do think she’d hate both of them, and it’d be easy on either of their part to just dismiss her, given her overall image. I envision her ex as having been exactly what her parents would have wished for her: the perfect potential husband, in essence, but that doesn’t mean that his image can’t have been a facade of sorts. As for whoever he cheated on her with, I’d be open to really any genders, any personalities, and really any motivations for doing it! They don’t even have to have known that he was in a relationship. Maybe he betrayed them just as much as he betrayed Poppy, who knows!

Poppy is more than a little uncertain about religion right now, and really she could go either way: returning to her Catholic roots with full strength or going full atheist or agnostic. I could definitely see her having interesting late night conversations or debates about religion with someone else with strong beliefs one way or another, and that then influencing her actions.

Writing Sample:

Tendrils of smoke swirled around her hair as she breathed out, the last of the summer sun’s warmth tempered by the cold breeze off the mountain, making her long for a jacket. Taking another drag from her cigarette, Poppy leaned against the bell tower, posture casual, with shadows under her eyes betraying her late night. She’d been unable to sleep, first too restless to lie down properly, and then endlessly disturbed by a few girls in a nearby room. Not that they’d been loud — their voices had been soft, and Poppy was certain they hadn’t bothered anyone else, but their disruption of her had been more related to their companionship than anything else. She missed all of what they had, that close friendship, late night conversations about anything and everything, and that longing had kept her away, contemplating what she’d once had. At the sound of rustling in the long grass at the base of the tower, she crouched, hand outstretched and dark eyes curious. It rustled again, and Poppy, realizing she knew very little about Switzerland’s wildlife, pulled her hand back. A third rustle, and the head of what was very obviously a fluffy tabby emerged, looking just as curious about her as she was about it. “Meow?”It asked her, and she almost laughed aloud at her caution, dropping her cigarette on the ground and grinding it out with her heel.

“Hey, little buddy. You’re not going to nibble on my fingers, are you?” With little care for her clothes, she plopped down on the grass, all else forgotten in this adorable scene. The cat walked up to her, sniffing her hand with an aura of uncertainty before climbing into her lap. “Are you lost? There’s no way you live in the wild, and we’re not allowed pets…” Poppy, stroking it gently, felt for a collar, only to find nothing. It began to purr, and she smiled, kissing it on the head. They sat like that for a while, the girl and the cat, and Poppy found herself lost in a moment of perfection. The cat didn’t care who she was, it only cared that she was warm and kind, and very good at petting it. Cozy and delighted, it rolled onto its back, batting a lazy paw at her long dark hair, and making her giggle. “Why can’t I keep you? I wish I could.” She kissed it once more, and then became aware of an audience: a pair of sophomores she vaguely recognized, looking at her and whispering to each other. In that moment, Poppy felt something within her crumble, and she felt almost like crying. With a deep swallow, she straightened her back, making eye contact with them and raising a perfectly-arched eyebrow. Away they ran, and she sighed. The peaceful moment was officially over. Scooping up the cat — and ignoring its little mew of indignation at the disruption of its lounging — she strode in the vague direction of the cable cars. “You are going in my backpack, and then we’re going to find that animal shelter so you can have a home away from terrible, awful people, okay?” Her voice was soft as she spoke to the cat, but nonetheless there was venom in it, and a little resignation. “At least — at least one of us can have that.”

#accepted

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dfroza · 3 years

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we’re meant to guard spiritual truth

which means there will be people who disagree.

when our Creator walked earth as a man there were people who opposed Him, even wanting to arrest Him by wrongfully accusing Him which led to His death on the cross. but He actually laid His life down for those who would come to be known as friends.

but while in this world we have a natural tendency to rebel within us, in the heart and in this physical body of flesh, which doesn’t always turn out for the best. unless the heart rebels against things like lies and injustice.

and although we naturally have a conscience to know right and wrong, the heart still needs rebirth. just as the mind needs to be renewed by the spiritual truth of the Son.

in this we become known as children of God who is our heavenly Father, also known as Spirit.

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 4th chapter of the Letter of Galatians:

Let me show you the implications of this. As long as the heir is a minor, he has no advantage over the slave. Though legally he owns the entire inheritance, he is subject to tutors and administrators until whatever date the father has set for emancipation. That is the way it is with us: When we were minors, we were just like slaves ordered around by simple instructions (the tutors and administrators of this world), with no say in the conduct of our own lives.

But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!” Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.

Earlier, before you knew God personally, you were enslaved to so-called gods that had nothing of the divine about them. But now that you know the real God—or rather since God knows you—how can you possibly subject yourselves again to those tin gods? For that is exactly what you do when you are intimidated into scrupulously observing all the traditions, taboos, and superstitions associated with special days and seasons and years. I am afraid that all my hard work among you has gone up in a puff of smoke!

My dear friends, what I would really like you to do is try to put yourselves in my shoes to the same extent that I, when I was with you, put myself in yours. You were very sensitive and kind then. You did not come down on me personally. You were well aware that the reason I ended up preaching to you was that I was physically broken, and so, prevented from continuing my journey, I was forced to stop with you. That is how I came to preach to you.

And don’t you remember that even though taking in a sick guest was most troublesome for you, you chose to treat me as well as you would have treated an angel of God—as well as you would have treated Jesus himself if he had visited you? What has happened to the satisfaction you felt at that time? There were some of you then who, if possible, would have given your very eyes to me—that is how deeply you cared! And now have I suddenly become your enemy simply by telling you the truth? I can’t believe it.

Those heretical teachers go to great lengths to flatter you, but their motives are rotten. They want to shut you out of the free world of God’s grace so that you will always depend on them for approval and direction, making them feel important.

* * *

It is a good thing to be passionate in doing good, but not just when I am in your presence. Can’t you continue the same concern for both my person and my message when I am away from you that you had when I was with you? Do you know how I feel right now, and will feel until Christ’s life becomes visible in your lives? Like a mother in the pain of childbirth. Oh, I keep wishing that I was with you. Then I wouldn’t be reduced to this blunt, letter-writing language out of sheer frustration.

Tell me now, you who have become so enamored with the law: Have you paid close attention to that law? Abraham, remember, had two sons: one by the slave woman and one by the free woman. The son of the slave woman was born by human plotting; the son of the free woman was born by God’s promise. This illustrates the very thing we are dealing with now. The two births represent two ways of being in relationship with God. One is from Mount Sinai in Arabia. It corresponds with what is now going on in Jerusalem—a slave life, producing slaves as offspring. This is the way of Hagar. In contrast to that, there is an invisible Jerusalem, a free Jerusalem, and she is our mother—this is the way of Sarah. Remember what Isaiah wrote:

Rejoice, barren woman who bears no children,

shout and cry out, woman who has no birth pangs,

Because the children of the barren woman

now surpass the children of the chosen woman.

Isn’t it clear, friends, that you, like Isaac, are children of promise? In the days of Hagar and Sarah, the child who came from faithless plotting (Ishmael) harassed the child who came—empowered by the Spirit—from the faithful promise (Isaac). Isn’t it clear that the harassment you are now experiencing from the Jerusalem heretics follows that old pattern? There is a Scripture that tells us what to do: “Expel the slave mother with her son, for the slave son will not inherit with the free son.” Isn’t that conclusive? We are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman.

The Letter of Galatians, Chapter 4 (The Message)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 2nd chapter of the book of Jeremiah that warns of idolatry by turning away from God our Creator who is Love but also Light that humbles us to spark reverence:

The word of the Eternal came to me again.

Eternal One: Go now, and say this loud enough for all Jerusalem to hear. Tell them that the Eternal speaks these words:

“I still remember the way you clung to Me in your youth, in the early days of our union.

Like a young bride, you loved the vows you made.

As I led you from slavery in Egypt to your freedom in Canaan, you drew close to Me.

Even in the barren wilderness along the way, I filled your every need.

In those days, you, Israel, were set apart for Me, the Eternal.

You were like the first portions of the harvest—devoted and true.

All who defied this arrangement and ate My portion for themselves were guilty,

and evil rained down upon them.”

Listen to the very word of the Eternal, house of Jacob and all the clans of Israel!

Eternal One: What happened between us?

What could I have done to your ancestors that was so wrong, so unfair?

Why would they pull away from Me

to pursue the empty worship of idols that has left them just as empty?

They didn’t think to say, “Where is the Eternal who rescued us from slavery in Egypt?

Where is the One who led us through the wilderness—a land of deserts and ravines?”

No one seems to remember how they crossed a scorched and lifeless land,

a darkness none had ever crossed before, a place where none survive.

I am the One who delivered you into this land of abundance

to enjoy its fruits and many good things.

But you have now taken the very land I gave you and defiled it.

You have done a most disgusting thing with this gift I reserved only for you.

Even then, the priests didn’t think to say, “Where is the Eternal One?”

Those who understand and teach the law act as if they’ve never known Me.

The rulers also have moved against Me.

Even the so-called prophets spoke in the name of Baal

and pursued worthless idols in their vain attempt for greater prosperity.

This is the case that I bring against you and your descendants:

You can search from the coastlands of Kittim in the west

to the deserts of Kedar in the east, and you won’t find anything as sickening as this.

Has a nation ever exchanged its gods for some others,

even if they weren’t really gods in the first place?

But My beloved people have done just that: they have exchanged their glory

to pursue worthless idols in their vain attempt for greater prosperity.

Be horrified, O you heavens, at this appalling betrayal.

Cringe in horror and be repulsed.

My people are guilty of two evils:

They have abandoned Me, the spring of living waters;

And instead, they have settled for dead and stagnant water

from cracked, leaky cisterns of their own making.

Is Israel some common slave, born into bondage?

Why has he been carted off as if he were the spoil of battle?

The nations have circled him like hungry young lions,

roaring and growling their war cries.

They have left Israel a wasteland—

the cities destroyed and the people scattered.

Even your Egyptian allies, from Memphis and Tahpanhes,

have stripped you of land and your crowning glory.

Is there anyone to blame but yourself?

Weren’t you the ones who abandoned the Eternal,

Your True God, even as He led you on this journey?

Eternal One: What do you hope to accomplish by going to Egypt

and drinking from the waters of the Nile?

What do you think you will gain by traveling to Assyria

and drinking from the waters of the Euphrates?

It is your wickedness that will punish you

and your desertion of My ways that will convict you.

See the evil and taste the bitterness of forsaking the one True God, the Eternal.

At the core of this evil is the sad truth that you have forgotten the wonder and terror of who I am.

So says the Eternal Lord, Commander of heavenly armies.

Eternal One (to His people): A long time ago, I broke the yoke that weighed you down

and tore off the chains that enslaved you;

Still you boldly said, “I will not serve You!”

Instead, you bowed down like a whore to pagan gods on the high hills, under every green tree.

I am the One who planted you like a select vine, chosen from vintage stock.

How could you turn into such a useless, wild weed of a vine?

You can scrub yourself with all the soap you want,

but you’ll never be able to wash away the stain of what you’ve done before Me.

So says the Eternal Lord.

Eternal One (to His people): How can you say, “I have not been defiled”?

How can you reply, “I have not run after the idols of Baal?”

You know exactly what you’ve done down in the valley—

you’re like a young camel running here and there without any direction.

You’ve acted like a wild donkey at home in that desert,

sniffing at the wind for any scent of the next encounter, unbridled in her lust.

It’s not even fair to say you were seduced by these gods.

You sought them out!

I warn you again: stop running after these rituals

till your feet are bare and your throat is dried out.

You said, “I can’t help myself, for I love these strange gods I am chasing after.”

Like a thief caught in the act, the people of Israel will be put to shame:

kings, leaders, priests, and prophets will be shamed.

They say to a piece of wood, “You are my father”;

they confess to a stone, “You gave me birth.”

They have shunned Me, who gave them life—turning their backs

instead of facing Me—

But that will change when troubles come.

That’s when they will cry out to Me, “Stand up for us, and save us!”

O Judah, where will your pagan gods be then?

You know, the ones you made yourself?

Let them stand up on their own.

See if they’re able to save you from your troubles.

You have as many gods as villages, Judah. Now let them take care of you.

Why are you leveling charges against Me?

You are the unfaithful one here.

You have all pulled away from Me.

I tried to discipline your sons, but it didn’t work; they wouldn’t listen.

You destroyed the prophets I sent to speak truth to you.

You devoured them as a lion does his prey.

People of this generation, consider again the word of the Eternal.

Eternal One: Have I been a barren wasteland to Israel with nothing to offer?

Am I no more than a land cloaked in darkness to them?

Why do My own people say to Me,

“We would rather wander where we want than come to You”?

Does a young woman ever forget her jewelry?

Does a bride forget to bring along her wedding dress?

And yet My people forgot Me long, long ago.

How good you’ve become at your reckless loving!

You could teach even a loose woman a thing or two.

The stain of the blood of the poor and the innocent is on your clothes

Even though you didn’t find them breaking into your houses.

In spite of it all,

Still you dare to say, “I am innocent;

surely God could not be angry with me anymore.”

Yet watch as I condemn you

because you perjure yourself saying, “I have not sinned.”

How do you keep changing directions,

making a covenant with Me, then a treaty with them?

You will soon be disappointed by the alliance with Egypt

just as you were by the one with Assyria.

You will leave this land as captives, with your hands on your head.

Why? Because I, the Eternal One, have rejected those you relied on.

You will never prosper from their help.

The Book of Jeremiah, Chapter 2 (The Voice)

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for Sunday, August 15 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons that looks at the True Source of healing:

The biblical Hebrew word for healing is refuah (רְפוּאָה), from the root rapha (רָפָא), meaning to repair, restore, or make healthful. Some of the sages have said that the root letters indicate the meaning or essence of healing itself, namely, confessing the truth of God. This can be seen when we consider that the letter Resh (ר) refers to the head (i.e., rosh: ראשׁ), or that which is first -- suggesting that thinking and the will to do teshuvah (Psalm 90:2-3) is primary; the letter Pey (פּ) refers to the mouth (i.e., peh: פֶּה), that is, to speech, confession, and prayer; and the letter Aleph (א) refers to faith (אמונה) in the LORD (i.e., ehyeh: אֶהְיֶה), the One and only true God who is the Master of the universe (Exod. 3:14). So we can see how the Hebrew word for healing is connected first with changing our thinking by doing teshuvah, confessing our sin, and finally trusting God for life, as it says, "confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (James 5:16), and "I considered my ways, and turned my feet unto Thy testimonies" (Psalm 119:56).

Refuah shleimah (רְפוּאָה שְׁלֵמָה), or a complete healing, is ultimately found when we turn to God with all our hearts and find his shalom (שָׁלוֹם), as it says, "the Torah of the LORD is perfect, returning the soul" (Psalm 19:7). The Hebrew word for sickness (i.e., choleh: חוֹלֶה), on the other hand, comes from a root (חלה) that stands for blocked (חָסום) or profane (חל) learning (לִמוּד) of the Holy Spirit (ה). The LORD comes to seek and to save those who are lost, saying "I am your Healer" (אֲנִי יְהוָה רפְאֶךָ). Therefore confess your confidence that he forgives all your iniquities and heals everything that blocks you from his blessing. Amen. [Hebrew for Christians]

and another about where our True Home is:

It is an ongoing struggle to live in this world without being devoured by its fear, insanity, and violence. Yeshua prayed for his followers saying, "I am not asking you to take them from the world but to keep them from the evil one. They do not belong to the world any more than I belong to this world" (John 17:15-16). To live in the world without belonging to the world marks the life of the tzaddikim (righteous ones) who are seeking the house of love, the place where God abides. Even though we are given “traveling mercies” for our journey in this world, we must lift our heart toward heaven, scorning the world and its vanities, and regarding the place of God's heart to be our true home. Abraham closed his eyes to this world and was given the inner light of truth that would reveal his way to God. "By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise as in a strange land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God" (Heb. 11:8-10). For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come (Heb. 13:14). So lift up your soul unto the LORD and refuse to live in fear. Stand strong in faith, trusting God's promise even if you are in darkness. As it is written: "Blessed is the one who makes the LORD his trust" (Psalm 40:4). [Hebrew for Christians]

8.13.21 • Facebook

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

August 15, 2021

Bewitched

“O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you?” (Galatians 3:1)

The Greek word for “bewitched” is used only this once in the New Testament and does not necessarily refer to witchcraft as such. The connotation is “fascinated” or “deceived.” Unlike most of his other epistles, the book of Galatians includes no commendations from Paul, nor even any prayer requests. Paul evidently was very disappointed in this church and its ministry.

He had clearly preached the gospel to them, setting forth “Jesus Christ, and him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2) among them, and they had apparently believed and started out well. They seemed to understand the great doctrines of salvation by grace and of liberty in Christ, and it was hard for Paul to understand how they had been so quickly led astray.

If anything, this is even a greater problem today than in Paul’s day. Professing Christians are being “tossed to and fro... with every wind of doctrine” (Ephesians 4:14)—not only with legalism (as in Galatia) but also with evolutionism, hedonism, emotionalism, materialism, and many other unscriptural heresies. Many who profess to be Christians have, like the Galatians, been “bewitched” by clever persuasion and peer pressure into such deceptions.

They may consider themselves especially enlightened in some way, or intellectual, or just up-to-date, but Paul would call them “foolish” just as he did the Galatians. In Christ alone—our Creator, Redeemer, and Lord—are “hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:3). As Paul concluded his letter to the Galatians: “God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world” (Galatians 6:14). HMM

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onceuponarrow · 6 years

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So I’ve got some thoughts on last nights Arrow ep. Some of those thoughts correlate with some feelings I’ve had for a while now and I need to get them out and share them. This post is really over my thoughts on how various members were added to the team and why I thought their addition helped or hurt.

First off, I am so happy we got Delicity and OTA scenes last night. I have missed these scenes so much. Felicity and John especially have continuously had their wonderful relationship sidelined and derailed since mid-season 3. But I love their relationship so much and I need them talking to each other again. I need them sharing advice and opinions. I need them talking to each other, not just at each other in the midst of whatever crisis is currently happening. Along those same lines, Original Team Arrow! These 3 are the reason why I got so invested in the show and their relationship with each other is the only reason I’m still hanging on and trying to continue to enjoy the show. Oliver and Dig’s budding partnership and then friendship is what initially kept my interest in the show. (That and anxiously waiting for the 5 minutes Felicity was in an ep.) Then Felicity got added all the way in to Team Arrow and I was sold on the show. I loved the dynamic the 3 had and still have with each other.

Sara’s introduction to the team was alright. I wasn’t crazy about it and thought she was a terrible influence on Oliver both in the present and in the past. That’s my interpretation of her character during season 2 which I know is not shared by many. But she was constantly in his ear pushing him to kill people. She was the one consistently telling Oliver to kill Slade in the flashbacks (unless I’m totally mis-remembering). She was also very much kill all our problems solution pushing in the present. Which I understand, she’d spent the last what 4 years with the LoA, so it’s understandable that her violent tendencies were amplified. But you know what, she understood herself, she understood where she was emotionally and ultimately made a decision she felt was best for herself and for Oliver and returned to the LoA with Nyssa.

Roy’s introduction to the team felt more earned as well. He wanted to help the city and those who lived there. He was (mostly) willing to be trained and learn and improve his skills. When he was fully added at the beginning of S3 it seemed seamless. No one’s skills needed to be diminished to fit him in. He was still learning and earning his place. By the time he gave up his life to save Oliver from prison I had fully embraced him as a character and was actually sad to see him go. Additionally at this point Oliver was arrested. Oliver had started this whole team and was willing to take the fall for everyone. But John, Felicity, and Roy were not happy about that and didn’t think it was right that he take the fall alone. No way were they going to stand by as one person took the fall alone. They were all going to get out of it or all go down together. That is a real team built on trust and faith in each other. By the way I have to add this link to a vid that I love so much from that time in the show.

https://youtu.be/iHITUAbqiqM

Also in season 3 LL suited up. I’m not a fan of that character. I hated how she was added to the team. I hated her motivations for suiting up. I hated how Oliver had to “die” to bring her onto the team. I hated how John was sidelined from the field so she could be out in the field. John is a special forces soldier and he’s sitting in the bunker with Felicity while she’s out in the field to make her arc happen. Now I’ve never rewatched those first eps of 3B because I dislike them so much. But I remember being so pissed at her swinging from the helicopter stunt that seemed well out of any skill set she should have. I remember being incredibly pissed that she insisted on being in the field and I feel like one of the ops went wrong and a cop got shot as a result of her incompetence.

This is where my annoyance with how people getting added to the team began. To add LL, Oliver needed to be diminished, so they temporarily “killed” him. Dig and Roy should have been able to handle field situations on their own with Felicity as back-up in the lair. Once again John is a special forces soldier. Roy grew up in the Glades and was trained by Oliver and John for over a year now. But for reasons (plot) lets sideline an original character to make a comic character mask happen against all realistic sense. So began the sidelining of OTA (both as a unit and as individual characters) to make comic characters happen. I just feel like every time a new comic canon character is added, in some form or fashion, Felicity or John or Oliver or their relationships with each other are diminished or pushed to the side. And so began my reticence to ever really embrace a new character again.

Thea was the next character added on to the team. She is a whole ‘nother issue. She has never been a character I’ve particularly cared for, but she’s grown on me, finally. She was introduced as a whiny entitled brat in season 1. I totally understand her reasons for why she acted the way she did. But I didn’t connect with that or want to watch it. It is what it is. Which probably colored my perception of her sudden fighting skills she gained with Malcolm. I never bought it, still don’t frankly. But she’s grown on me and I enjoy her as Oliver’s sister now finally. I enjoy the wonderfully resilient and strong woman she has grown into. But I also won’t be sad to see her go if she takes off with Roy when he returns this season. That girl has had so much tragedy and heartbreak in her life, she needs her quiet happy ending. So for whatever reason I’ve never really connected with her character, but I’ve also never felt anyone was diminished or pushed out to add her to the team.

Curtis is up next. This is a character that I’ve had the opposite reaction to. While I grew to appreciate Roy and Thea, I’ve grown to resent Curtis’s presence on the show. I enjoyed Curtis’s introduction. I liked his relationship with Felicity, his child-like wonder at finding the lair and helping out superheros. I liked how he was complementary to Felicity’s skills. But now, now wow what a change I’ve had with regards to his character. So many times now I feel like instead of speaking in-sync with Felicity it has turned into speaking over her. Things that Felicity could have done without issue she now needs his help with or needs him to do it for her. But really the thing that bugs me the most (and this is totally on the writers) I absolutely resent that Felicity’s company has to be a joint venture with him. This is a genius, who built her own computer at age 7. Who graduated with a double masters from MIT at age 19. Who won numerous intellectual competitions. Who basically ran Queen Consolidated for Oliver and then ran Palmer Tech without issue. She can’t start a company on her own? Give me a fucking break. That’s not even mentioning the fact that he put tracking nanites in her pancakes last season, which he used 2 eps in a row to track her. (I know I just rewatched to verify). And now he is acting all offended because they spied on him digitally for like a day to look for a traitor to the team. Get out with that hypocrisy. You put nanites into someone’s body without permission and you are whining about being digitally tracked. So yeah, I’m done with him as a character. His being on the show is, in my opinion, hurting the story lines Felicity should be getting.

Evelyn and Rory I’m just briefly going to touch on. They were both there for such a short period of time. Evelyn’s story line irritated me because I felt she had been set up as a 17 year old high school student and no one ever brought up the fact that she should still be in school. No one encouraged her to figure out what to do with her life. I feel like her age as she was initially introduced was just ignored or forgotten. Rory was alright as a character, but I’m firmly on the no metas on team arrow team. He was way overpowered. He was basically immortal when wearing the rags so why anyone else should be out in the field risking their lives when he was on the team made no sense.

Rene, oh this is a character I dislike, possibly even more than LL. Now some personal info first. I have 3 adopted cousins. Two were abused children who were put into foster care and then adopted by my cousins. Another was born to a drug addicted mother and was initially in a foster home that kept her drugged to keep her quiet before ending up with my cousins. I have very strong feelings about foster care. So when I say that Rene initially wanting nothing to do with Zoe and wanting her in foster care. Well he lost me there. And I can’t ever see myself liking him on that basis alone. That is not even touching on the fact that I find him rude and disrespectful. That comment last night about not liking how Felicity is talking to him? He has repeatedly ignored her asking him to stop calling her Blondie. Now I get the situations are totally different now than in season 3 and there are children involved but Rene was pretty damn quick to throw Oliver to the feds to save his own ass. He never let anyone know what was happening. Then he had the gall to make that beautiful speech about Oliver and Felicity when he would be testifying against Oliver soon enough. He brings nothing to the team. He is a body with a gun and that is it. No special skills, nothing that couldn’t be replaced with just about anyone else. I want him gone forever from the team. It especially irks me that he is supposedly doing all this to regain custody of Zoe. Yet he is still putting himself in harms way every day going out into the field when it has repeatedly been said there is no one else for Zoe to go to, no extended family. So what the hell is going to happen to her if he is killed?

Dinah, she’s tricky. I’ve really not had strong feelings one way or the other about her. As a character she never particularly bothered me one way or the other, she was just there. I’m not a fan of the meta ability like I said before. I’m firmly on the leave the metas on the other shows in the arrowverse team. I will say I mildly resented how she got an apartment shown within a season of being on the show when it took til season 3 to see Felicity’s. I resent that she quickly got a job as a police lieutenant when Felicity has been jobless for almost 2 seasons now. I resented that scene she had with Oliver in Russia last season. That felt entirely unearned, they’d known each other for less than a month. I resented all the scenes she’s had with Dig last season and this season. Because here we go again. One of my reasons for watching, Dig and Felicity’s friendship, is being ignored and sidelined because of the need to add in a comic cannon character. So her hanging out with Vigilante, who was trying to kill Oliver last season, and keeping him a secret from the team yeah that cemented my mild dislike for her character.

In all I find that the addition of all these comic character masks diminished the team in general. I miss the early fight scenes with Oliver kicking ass alone or with Dig. They were enjoyable to watch and frankly seemed more physical. Now they are big wide shots to then zoom in multiple times to give everyone’s stunt double their 5 second fight scene. Now Oliver always needs everyone in the field with him all the time for optics.

Are some of my complaints emotional and not logical? Absolutely! I don’t watch shows where I don’t emotionally connect with characters. So when I emotionally react to what I perceive as characters I love being changed or sidelined to push characters to the forefront that I don’t care about I’m going to get upset. And being constantly upset leads me to resent those characters even more.

In general I feel that the addition of all these characters has diminished the quality of the story I could be getting. Arrow has had some wonderful character growth and character based episodes. They’ve also had some horrible episodes where characters have acted well out of established character in order to move plot or cause drama. I don’t know. I just feel like some of the shows that I have loved the best have had small casts and spent time developing and highlighting the relationships between those characters.

So in conclusion I just wanted to get all those thoughts out of my head. I really want Curtis and Rene gone forever and I’m leaning that way with Dinah as well. I’m not looking forward to the manufactured drama that is going to be needed to inevitably bring the newbies back on to the team. I cringe at the thought of who (if not all) of my loves (OTA) will need to be diminished to justify needing the newbies permanently. But I am looking forward to hopefully many wonderful scenes with Felicity and Dig and OTA in general. Those 3 in any combination are magical. My love for them as individual characters and as a found family is why I continue to hang on and watch. Because as much as the show drives me crazy and irritates me at times, they then turn around and throw me an emotionally satisfying scene or episode and I’m happy again.

I haven’t been on much over the hiatus but tagging a few people who might be interested. @almondblossomme @hope-for-olicity @nalla-madness @wildirish23

#arrow thoughts #arrow reactions #arrow spoilers

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kilshade · 7 years

Photo

Li-Li has been demanding my attention tonight so I went through a bunch of old prompts and let him answer them.

Under a read more so y’all can ignore me indulging him, and because it’s really long.

http://www.thebookoflife.org/self-knowledge-questionnaire/#

INDEPENDENCE

You don’t set out to be different for its own sake; you are more easily guided by what interests and moves you. You are more concerned about what is right for you than about the pressure to fit in. In sex you are more aware than others of impulses which are not entirely conventional. You know the value of selective irresponsibility, of forgetting occasionally about being ‘good’.

SENSITIVITY You have delicate, sensitive perceptions; you can be deeply moved by appearances – the right light in a room, or good food, or the texture of a piece of clothing. Expressive, intelligent language has a powerful hold on you; your mind works better when it is inspired and provoked by vivid imagery. It can be sad to live in a world which is often so ugly and not properly looked after. But you know that things can be otherwise, and you have the ability to appreciate the world at its best.

PLAYFULNESS You are good at seeing what’s funny, at relaxing and finding the pleasure of the moment. Play is random, whimsical, fantasy-driven behaviour which releases internal tension. Because it is detached from some pressures it allows you to act on weirder, perhaps neglected, parts of yourself. The downside is that it is no help in sticking with things that are not much fun but which need to be addressed. So it is well complemented by its opposite, Stoicism.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

https://en.shindanmaker.com/219278

----------------------------------------------------------------- GUILTY VS INNOCENT

Rules: You can only say guilty or innocent. You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you or asks you. Asked someone to marry you? - Innocent Kissed one of your friends? - Guilty Danced on a table in a bar or tavern? - Guilty Ever told a lie? - Guilty Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? - Guilty Ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? - Guilty Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Guilty Kissed a picture? - Guilty Slept in until 5pm? - Guilty Fallen asleep at work or school? - Guilty Held a snake? - Guilty Been suspended from school? - Innocent Worked at a fast food chain/restaurant? - Innocent Stolen something? - Guilty Been fired from a job? - Innocent Done something you regret? - Guilty Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? - Guilty Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - Guilty Kissed in the rain? - Guilty Sat on a roof top? - Guilty Kissed someone you shouldn’t? -Guilty Sang in the shower? - Guilty Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - Innocent Shaved your head? - Innocent Slept naked? - Guilty Had a boxing membership? - Innocent Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? - Guilty Been in a band? - Innocent Shot a gun? - Guilty Donated blood? - Innocent Eaten alligator meat? -Guilty Eaten cheesecake? - Guilty Still loved someone you shouldn’t? - Innocent Have/had a tattoo? - Guilty Liked someone, but will never tell who? - Guilty Been too honest? - Guilty Ruined a surprise? - Guilty Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can’t walk after? - Innocent Erased someone in your friends list? - Guilty Dressed in a man’s clothes? - Guilty Dressed in a woman’s clothes? -Guilty Joined a pageant? - Innocent Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? - Guilty Still have communication with your ex? - Innocent Cheated on someone? - Innocent Got totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning? - Guilty A total stranger treated you by paying your fare? - Guilty Got so angry that you cried? - Innocent Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? -Guilty Thought about suicide? - Guilty Thought about murder? - Guilty Actually murdered someone? - Innocent Thought about mass murder? - Innocent Actually committed a mass murder? - Innocent Rode in a stranger’s vehicle? - Guilty Stalked someone? - Guilty Had a girlfriend? - Innocent Had a boyfriend? - Guilty Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? - Guilty ------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------- https://www.qzzr.com/c/quiz/314581/which-film-noir-archetype-are-you

Result: the femme fatale

key characteristics: mysterious, self-destructive, charming, subversive

you are capable of using charm, beauty, and wit to work for your own gain. you understand people's desires easily and know how to use them. you may find yourself relying on others too often, and have difficulty extracting yourself from a situation once it has begun. you may one day find yourself accused of something unjustly, but if you take a moment to step back from the driving force within yourself you may avoid destruction.

film recommendations: double indemnity, out of the past, murder, my sweet

[This result is killing me! LOL]

---------------------------------------------------------------------- Bold all that apply. Italicize leaning or former.

[ WEALTH ] $ Financial : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged ✪ Class or Caste : upper / middle / working / transient / slave / unsure ✔ Education : qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record : yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no /

[ FAMILY ] ◒ Children : had a child or children / has no biological children / wants children / has adopted children ◑ Relationship with Family : close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ] ♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ dis-organised / organised / in between ♦ closed-minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between ♦ empathetic / unempathetic / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[ BELIEFS ] ★ Faith : monotheist/ polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens : yes (He is one) / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious : orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical : yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ] ❤ Sexuality : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual ❥ Sex : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance : romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable / naive and/or inexperienced ❣ Sexually : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ ABILITIES ] ☠ Combat Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ≡ Literacy Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[ HABITS ] ☕ Drinking Alcohol : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☁ Smoking : trying to quit / never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✿ Other Narcotics : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✌ Medicinal Drugs : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☻ Indulgent Food : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess $ Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ♣ Gambling : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

----------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. HOW OLD ARE THEY? 26

2. WHAT IS THEIR ETHNICITY? Twi’lek / Tukian

3. WHAT ARE THEIR PRONOUNS? He/Him/His

4. WHAT IS THEIR SEXUALITY? Homosexual

5. HOW TALL ARE THEY IN FEET AND INCHES? 6’

6. WHEN DO THEY USUALLY GO TO SLEEP AND WAKE UP? When the cantinas close, and sometime around mid afternoon.

7. DO THEY LIKE LIGHT OR DARK COLORS? Dark, vibrant colors

8. DO THEY HAVE ANY PHYSICAL DISABILITIES? Deaf in his right ear. He wears a thin cybernetic that looks like a comm earpiece to hide it.

9. DO THEY HAVE ANY MENTAL DISABILITIES? Some may say he does, covered by many coping mechanisms.

10. OPTIMISTIC OR PESSIMISTIC? Optimistic

11. DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? (THIS QUESTION DOESN’T HAVE TO BE SEXUAL!) Submissive

12. THREE THINGS THAT CALM THEM DOWN. Booze, Spice, Sex. He very rarely needs to be calmed down, he’s a calm dude.

13. THREE THINGS THAT SET THEM OFF OR MAKE THEM ANXIOUS Violence, explosions, Sith

14. ARE THEY RELIGIOUS? No

15. WOULD THEY BE CLASSIFIED AS AGGRESSIVE, PASSIVE, OR ASSERTIVE? Passive /assertive. Depends on the situation

16. DO THEY LIKE THEIR PARENTS? No

17. DO THEIR PARENTS LIKE THEM? No

18. HOW DO THEY VIEW THEIR CHILDHOOD IN THEIR EYES? Torture

19. DO THEY FEAR THE FUTURE OR LOOK FORWARD TO IT? Neither.

20. WHAT ONE THING WOULD THEY CHANGE ABOUT THEMSELVES IF THEY COULD? He’d get rid of his scars.

21. ARE THEY INSECURE OR HAPPY WITH THEMSELVES? He’s very happy with himself.

22. OPINION ON ROMANCE? Fun while it lasts!

23. OPINION ON SEX? Yes please!

24. WHAT IS THEIR IDEAL DATE? Dinner, Dancing, a shared bath/shower, waking up together the next day. (If the date went well)

25. WHAT IS THEIR IDEAL ROMANTIC PARTNER? A guy he can be his absolute self with.

26. DO THEY HAVE ANY PHOBIAS? Being enslaved.

27. DO THEY HAVE ANY SMALL THINGS THAT FRUSTRATE THEM? People who freak out over small things.

28. WHAT IS THEIR FAVORITE SEASON? Summer!

29. WHAT IS THEIR FAVORITE MONTH? the Summer months!

30. WHAT IS THEIR FAVORITE COLOR? Bright red and pink

31. WHAT’S THEIR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF FOOD? (SPICY, BITTER, SWEET, SALTY…) Sweet and salty

32. WHAT WAS/IS THEIR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? Robotics and first aid

33. WHAT WAS/IS THEIR LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? Everything else

34. DO THEY HAVE ANY TRAUMA? IF SO, WHAT? He ran away from home at a young age and lived on the streets until he was taken in and given a job and education

35. WHAT IS THEIR BIGGEST, DARKEST FEAR? Same as his phobia.. Getting a shock collar slapped on him and forced into slavery.

36. ARE THEY MONOGAMOUS OR POLYGAMOUS? Polygamous. No one’s asked him to be their one and only.

37. WHAT IS THEIR BODY TYPE? DO THEY LIKE IT? Thin and muscular, Fit. He loves it.

38. DID THEY DO WELL/ARE THEY DOING WELL IN SCHOOL? He did awful in school, save for his favorite subjects. If he’d passed everything, he’d likely be a doctor.

39. DO THEY HAVE A JOB? IF SO, WHAT IS IT? Captain of his own ship and purveyor of illicit goods. (and part time medic if paid enough)

40. HAVE THEY EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Not really

41. HAVE THEY EVER BEEN ARRESTED? Yes

NOT AN ASK, NSFW QUESTIONS FROM HERE ON (OPTIONAL) IF THE REBLOGGER SPECIFIES THEY WANT NO NSFW IN THEIR INBOX, RESPECT THAT! (NSFW STUFF )

42. WHAT’S ONE THING THAT TURNS THEM ON? His lekku being played with

43. WHAT’S ONE THING THAT TURNS THEM OFF? Violence, pain, being harmed during.

44. ARE THEY KNOWN FOR BEING A FREAK OR MORE VANILLA? Freak

45. ARE THEY A VIRGIN? No.

46. ARE THEY INTO ANYTHING ILLEGAL? Not that he knows of.

47. ARE THEY TURNED ON OR FREAKED OUT BY BSDM? NEUTRAL? Neutral

48. HAVE THEY EVER MASTURBATED ON THEIR OWN? Yes

48. WOULD THEY EVER WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN SEX THAT INCLUDES MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE? Absolutely.

#This has been a long post #maybe he'll leave me alone and let me write now #oc: Li'ok

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