Tumgik
#i hate this man with every fibre of my being
robinheaney12 · 5 months
Text
Re watching scenes of Ben and Charlie in S1 of heartstopper after watching S2 50 billion times make me actually want to sob and throw myself into a ditch. CHAR GENUINELY THOUGHT BEN WAS THE BEST HE WAS GOING TO GET BECAUSE BEN WAS THE ONLY GUY WHO ACTUALLY “LIKED” HIM 😭💔
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Thank god that Nick and Charlie got together 🥹💛
53 notes · View notes
man nothing beats rewatching your favorite childhood movie and realizing exactly how much you ship rahul and anjali
40 notes · View notes
ace-avian · 1 year
Text
The funniest thing to me is that thanks to my friends I have an obsession with our own versions of Ein just completely stripping any canonicity—
I looked at my mcd version of him being entirely Crane Wives, AURORA and The Amazing Devil core after I shoved him into a blender of angst and rewriting potential and nod as though I haven’t destroyed this bastard’s entire livelihood
But he’s better than canon and that’s what counts
33 notes · View notes
keithyzz · 11 months
Text
I figured this was clear enough but I guess not
If you're friends with J or you still interact with him in any way, then you can get the fuck off my blog
6 notes · View notes
dearbraus · 7 months
Text
u can’t call yourself a sasha stan if you ship her with niccolo
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
thosebrotherslynch · 6 months
Text
My neighbour has decided he wants to spend this peaceful Saturday afternoon by chainsawing shit in the garden
0 notes
quicksilversg1rl · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
this man is taking over every fibre of my being and i HATE IT
i want control over my own mind again thanks!
7K notes · View notes
Text
me when I hear Mick Jagger singing
Tumblr media Tumblr media
1 note · View note
nnight-dances · 9 months
Text
CHERRY-FLAVOURED
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
PAIRING: choi seungcheol x f!reader (ft. kwon soonyoung & kim mingyu)
GENRE: fluff, angst
TROPES: small town au!, exes to lovers, jealousy, idiots in love, fake dating (w/ soonyoung), you own a small bookstore and i never mention what seungcheol does (but just know he's rich).
RECOMMENDED: reading ADORABLY, YOURS before this, since this is the same seungcheol and i make a few references to what happened there.
Tumblr media
"Oh, did you hear? Seungcheol's back in town!" Nayeon calls out with a lopsided smile she thinks is inconspicuous. You think it's obnoxious. 
But you don't let her know how much the news bothers you, pretending to instead by absorbed in currently trying to get your hair to sit right in a ponytail. "Sure," you reply, not breaking eye-contact with yourself in the mirror. 
Your roommate quickly catches though because she appears by your shoulder in the mirror, eyes narrowing. "Right. And you're fine with it?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" you mutter, devoting every fibre of your being to make your tone stay flat.
"I don't know, the way you've been working on this ponytail for the past fifteen minutes had me thinking otherwise," she shrugs, "And the fact that it still looks like shit from the back."
You scoff in offense, "All my baby hair makes it real hard to do this, okay!" But Nayeon's already making her way back to the kitchen to finish her breakfast with a teasing giggle and you watch her in dismay, wondering if not only your hairstyle but also your acting had really been that bad.
And as you spin around to face your reflection, you figure that the general bad-ness of your life might have something to with Seungcheol's return to town after all. Not that you would ever admit it, for many reasons. But mainly because of the fact that he's your ex-boyfriend. 
You liked to think you'd ended things with him on a good note– there hadn't been too many tears or screams and you still would catch up with him whenever you ran into him, an occurrence that was basically inevitable given how small your town was. But ever since he'd left on trip to visit his much-famed best friend, Jeonghan, you'd finally gotten around to thinking about why you were still single despite having left a long-term relationship for over a month.  
…Which led to a series of messy first dates with the few tolerable men in town who would otherwise have you cringing at the thought of talking to them. And well, actually going out with them convinced you your first impressions were always right and your intuition was all-knowing. 
– 
Meet Soonyoung, the man who would almost unmistakably come around asking for gum in your store. Your bookstore. 
You couldn't figure out if it was a honest fault of his personality or if he was doing it to annoy you– until one afternoon you found it was something much worse: he was flirting with you.
"Y/N, your hair looks cute today," he's telling you through a grin right now. You look away from the computer screen where you've been logging the new stock of books in, ready to tell him thanks and that you needed to hear that since your beloved roomate insulted you this morning. You don't get around to saying all that because you spot a figure entering the store behind Soonyoung, where he's leaning on the counter with his hands under his chin. He thinks he's slick but you know it's so he can show off his arms. 
You've forgotten all about Hoshi and his boyish charms because you notice the new customer is none other than the recent arrival to town, Seungcheol. 
You hate the way you can feel your heart skip a beat at the revelation so you quickly turn your head back to your screen. "Thanks, Soonyoung."
Thankfully, Hoshi doesn't seem to notice the stiffness of your clipped response and instead is distracted by a stack of plastic-wrapped books. 
"Wow, you sure have a lot of new stock coming in these days, huh?" 
You nod, still not looking away from the screen. "Yeah, I've been working on keep the shelves up to date with the new releases. I'm sick of people using the feedback box to curse me out for still placing the classics out front."
You hear a snort then and you immediately recognize it as not Soonyoung's. 
"You'd think that's how the feedback works, no?" 
Slowly you turn to look at him in the eyes, unsettled by the playful glint you find there. "...Can I help you?" you ask quietly, keeping your tone cordial but not too warm. Hoshi stands up straight with Seungcheol next to him, earning him a glance from the man. 
"Oh, did you finally hire a part-timer?" he asks. You consider throwing the stack of new books in your ex's face. And then you remember how much they cost. So instead, you settle on shaking your head. 
"No–" Hoshi cuts you off, though, much to your chagrin. 
"No, I'm just here giving Y/N company," he's saying and you really wish he wouldn't speak, but he goes on, "She's been pretty stressed out these days and last week–"
"Soonyoung," you look at him warningly, "do you think you could help me double-check if there's a delivery out front? I keep getting tracking updates that it's close."
"Of course!" he responds already reaching for the glass doors, "Be right back, Y/N!"
With Soonyoung gone, Seungcheol finally breaks into the guffaw you know he's been keeping in for the past five minutes. "What's that all about?"
"It's none of your business, Seungcheol," you inform him as you busy yourself with tidying up the stray pieces of gum wrapper Soonyoung had conveniently forgotten. 
"Oh, so you do remember who I am, after all?" You hate how much you like listening his voice turn slighly soft at the sound of his name on your lips. And the how your breath's a little uneven when he slides to invade your line of vision, big hands tapping at the counter to get your attention. As if you could possibly be thinking about anything else right now. 
"Why are you here, anyway?" you ask him, training your gaze on him. "Because I know, for a fact, you don't read." 
"I'm hurt, Y/N," Seungcheol gasps with a hand to his chest. His unbelievably firm chest. "And after I worked so hard to read that boring poem book for you?"
You almost seethe at the way he calls it a poem book but contain it with a grimace. "Can we get to the point here? I have a store to run, dude."
"I'm serious! I came here to find a book. Considering picking that poem book again, figure out what the big deal is for once and for all."
You stay still, unresponsive to his ridiculous excuse. Seungcheol waits a few beats, eyes locked with yours before giving in. "Fine. I was in town and wanted to see how you were doing." 
Never mind, you think you preferred to hear the ridiculous lies because the way your ex-boyfriend's gaze drops to your fists by your side has you immediately unfolding your grasp. Stupid Seungcheol and his ability to fuck up a perfectly okay daily routine. 
"Ugh," you sigh out after a moment, "Come on. I'll help you find the chapbook. But you have to promise to never call it a poem book ever again. Or I'm blacklisting you." 
You don't see it but when you spin around to march into the bookstore, expecting Seungcheol to follow you, he's all smiles, his own fists unravelling at the way your tone lost its cold somewhere along the way of this encounter. He skips behind you with a noise of excitement. 
"Okayyyy," you hum as you crouch by the poetry section, fingers expertly running through the spines of the thin books there. Seungcheol crouches by you, a little too close because his arm brushes against you, almost throwing you off-balance. 
You're about to tell him off for surprising you but he suddenly smiles, dimples so delicious in the soft glow of the light of the bookstore filtering through the bookshelves. "Your hair looks different," he comments, voice low and his gaze slowly follows the trail of your low ponytail, the thin grey band that holds the strands together clearly very worn-out. "Looks pretty." 
And where Seungcheol's wondering when you started wearing your hair up, you're incredibly flustered by his compliment. You stand up too quick, knee joints popping, and you think you must really be growing old when your vision blacks out a little. 
You steady yourself with a hand on the shelf, quietly scolding Seungcheol, "You're in the way." He joins you on his feet, making way with an exaggerated wave of his arm, not missing the way your ears are turning redder by the second.
You're gifted a good solid five minutes of peace as you inspect the shelves, wondering how you lost track of the chapbook, when Seungcheol speaks up again. "Um, so seriously, what's the deal with you and Soonyoung? You… seeing him?" 
For all his attempts at maintaining an air of nonchalance, Seungcheol can't help how irked he was when he walked into your bookstore to the sight of Soonyoung making conversation to you. Irksome especially more so because he'd heard you say that you hated having people around you while you did the boring but imperative computer-related stuff at work, something about wanting to get the misery out of the way as soon as possible. Yet, there Soonyoung had been, distracting you with all his airhead being. 
"I can't seem to locate the book right now for some reason," you start, doing nothing to ease Seungcheol's worries, "And I also can't seem to comprehend why my dating life is a point of discussion between us… anymore."
And wow, does your comment hurt. It hurts Seungcheol but also you, even as you're the one saying it because you can practically feel his mood dampening at your words. But the rational part of you is praising you for doing the right thing and setting your boundaries before you get any more carried away by your ex-boyfriend's ways. 
That afternoon Seungcheol leaves your bookstore, very empty-handed and extremely heart-broken, because as he exits, he can already hear Soonyoung asking if you wanted get lunch with him. 
– 
Speaking of lunch, enter Mingyu because eating out with someone, more often than not, meant making a trip to his humble but bustling restaurant. It was everything right with your small town: a simple menu that remained consistently mind-blowing no matter how many times you visited.
Wish you could say your friendship with Mingyu had maintained the same level of consistency as his culinary competence. 
And in your defense, you didn't know how much longer you could've gone ignoring the way Mingyu would take every opportunity to make you extra sides that you didn't order and send you specially curated handmade dinner-sets when he heard you were sick or too busy to eat. You hated it, crossing the friendzone you had so carefully placed him in, but one late night, when he showed up at your door in the rain just so he could deliver your food before it went cold, you caved and invited him in. 
So while you legally have no choice but to politely turn down Soonyoung's offer for lunch, you can't help that you find yourself walking to Mingyu's Kitchen on Saturday morning for some brunch because as much as you loved improvising with the two ingredients in your fridge, nothing beat the ramyeon he cooks. 
You're still groggy when you enter the cozy shop but the familiar scent iss already warming you up from the chilly air outside. Except you make eye-contact with the man as you step foot into the place. 
The man being Seungcheol, of course, because where you could handle fielding Mingyu's puppy eyes on you, a reminder that you hadn't texted him back yet– Seungcheol's intense glare fixed on you has you shaking in your boots. Literally. 
"...actually, I think I'll just eat here," you hear him call out as you approach the counter to place your order. Your head hurts already so you don't think too hard about Seungcheol's request to Sakura who nods with a smile. 
"Y/N!" Mingyu materializes in front of you with a beam to greet you and you think sunglasses might've been the way to go this morning. 
"Hey," you drag out the greeting, flinching at your own hoarse voice, "What's up, Gyu?"
"Nothin' much, just dealing with the usual Saturday morning rush, y'know? Maroon 5 should write a song about that instead of crying over Sunday mornings, don't you think?"
You're busy processing the tall man's chaotic train of thoughts when you hear Seungcheol laughing faintly. You glance at him, frowning when he's standing closer to you than you remember and then look back at Mingyu. "Ha, sorry it's so busy," you mumble.
"You don't sound so good. Did you catch something?" Mingyu inquires, brows furrowing and you genuinely love the man for his observance but dread its consequences nevertheless.
"Ahh, I mean, it's fine. Just a little cold from the wind," you clear your throat in an effort to sound better, "But I'll have a ramyeon for that very reason." You try to punctuate your sentence with a light-hearted chuckle but with your condition, it just kind of sounds like you're dying so you shut yourself up. 
"Feeling under the weather?" 
You look up from your phone screen, where you've been fixating all your attention so you can ignore the way Seungcheol's seated himself on the table right next to yours. This was the problem with eating out alone. The danger of your ex-boyfriend tailing you. You swear you're dragging Nayeon out after you next time, her fucked-up sleep schedule be damned. 
You shrug in response to his question, "I'm fine. Thanks for the concern."
"You're very welcome," comes his teasing reply, "But seriously, you've got to wear more layers than that if you want to make it to winter."
You look down at your long-sleeved top with a frown, "I think this attire is perfectly appropriate for the fall, actually." You tug at the sleeves so they cover your wrists as if to prove a point. 
Seungcheol raises a brow, "It would be a perfectly appropriate attire for someone who doesn't have the immune system of a rat."
Gasping, you shoot back, "Rude! I don't see why I have to stand this slander even when we're not together."
There it is. The words slip out your tongue before you have a minute to filter your thoughts and though things between you and Seungcheol are more chill than most former lovers, your sudden comment has the atmosphere turn ever so awkward, with his smile falling and your own turning sour. 
You sigh in relief when Sakura brings out a tray to Seungcheol's table that very moment, saving you just a little embarassment. "Enjoy your meal!" she smiles at him and then at you, "Your food will be out soon!" 
You nod, swallowing against your dry throat and watch as Seungcheol stares at his food wordlessly. You really had a way with words for someone who sold books for a living. Eventually, you go back to distracting yourself with your phone and he starts eating, suddenly laser-focused on his food. 
You're thankful for the space, until you see Mingyu making his way to your table with your tray in his hands. You don't know why he does that, bringing you your food despite being the head chef and owner of the place. Well, you do know why but you didn't have the energy to deal with the reasons today. 
Not with Seungcheol sitting right there, eyes on Mingyu's back as he places your food in front of you, grin intact. You're about to thank the man and hopefully, cut any conversation short but he beats you to it. 
"Here's your food, Y/N!" his voice borders on cracking but he goes on, "I made you some yuja-cha as well for your throat. And make sure you eat a lot of kimchi, okay? Let me know if you need anything else."
Slowly you nod, thanking him under your breath as he takes off and now it's your turn to stare at your food in silence while Seungcheol's shooting daggers your way. 
If he thought he was upset by your thing with Soonyoung, the way Mingyu was just all up in your space with his stupidly sweet gestures has Seungcheol… a lot more upset. 
"I thought Mingyu and you were just friends," he's voicing before he can help it. 
Your head snaps up in surprise but really, you should've seen this coming. You compose yourself, averting your eyes back to the warm food in your plate. "And I thought I made it clear that my dating life is none of your business."
"It's not my business," Seungcheol says, unconvincing to his own hears, "But it would be a problem if you were, you know, two-timing." 
Now you know Seungcheol is trying to get on your nerves because he knows how much you hate dishonesty and to accuse you of being disloyal is a low blow, really. But it works because you finally look back at him with eyes wide, "Of course I'm not. I slept with him like once!"
Where the news has Seungcheol feeling conflicted because where it was good to know that nothing was serious, it was also not fun to hear that you'd slept with him. But while he tried hard to not dwell on Mingyu's impressive physique, you were busy catching up with your own loss of control.
Because even despite your unintended confession that you hope you weren't too loud about, you quickly supply in a quiet voice, "...well, it was technically a date that led to sleeping– but it had nothing to do with Soonyoung— I don't even know why I'm telling you this!" 
You spend the rest of your brunch focusing on finishing your food and appropriately thanking Mingyu for the food, a little apologetic for many many reasons, so you can leave the same room as your ex-boyfriend faster. 
But he makes it real hard, because just as you step out of the restaurant and take a deep breath of the fresh September air to settle your nerves, you hear his voice calling you out. You stuff your hands into the pockets of your pants to brace yourself as you turn around, already starting to say something about how he needs to leave you alone and forget you said anything. 
"You left your phone behind!" he cuts you off, holding out the device for you to see. You curse under your breath, feeling incredibly ridiculous as you reach for it. 
"Thanks–"
And then he dodges your grasp, leaving you flailing around like an idiot while he looks on with an amused half-smile. Half a smile because he knows you would kill him and then yourself if he straight-out laughed at you. 
"I'll give it back if you unblock me."
Your shoulders slump and a groan leaves your lungs. "Seungcheol."
But his smile only widens because you may be glaring at him but you did just say his name. And a win is a win. 
"Seriously? You're holding my phone hostage just so you can blackmail me over something so petty? Come on!" 
"I'm sorry, do you know how many seal memes you've been missing out on since you blocked me? This is no laughing matter."
"I'm not the one laughing," you snap and then cross your arms in exasperation, "Don't be a child, dude, and just give me my phone."
"Why did you block me anyway?"
You raise your brows at him as if to say really? but he maintains his smile and you groan again. You hate him for knowing that you hadn't blocked him right after the breakup thanks to someone's insistence on thinking seal memes were funny and that the real resaon you'd blocked him was–
"–Siri kept recommending your contact every single time I would go to make a phone call! Heck, I couldn't even text Nayeon to get me a towel in the shower because the messages app would automatically redirect to you."
Seungcheol watches in awe as he connects the dots in his head and mutters, "You still had me saved as kkmua's dad?" You look away but your silence is enough of an answer. 
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the reason your phone confused Seungcheol with Nayeon because he was kkuma's dad and she was kookeu's mom– an idea a drunk you had found incredibly hilarous. The similarity in their spelling had your algorithm all fooled every time you typed in one or the other's name in a rush. Still, you wish Seungcheol was a little dumber sometimes. 
Now as you look at Seungcheol you can see he's thinking of something. Most likely considering the question: Why didn't you change it? 
"I was too lazy to change it back, okay? Blocking you was obviously the easier choice."
"I didn't say anything," he tells you with an easy smile, clearly pleased to see you flushed. "For what it's worth, you're still promising young woman in my contacts. And I didn't even have to block you."
It's probably because you've seen Seungcheol so much more than the past two months in the past two days, but you find yourself moved by his words. They're not that meaningful really, he's just bringing up a past inside joke in that reassuring tone of his. But you can't help but smile. 
"I hate you," you breathe out and in the context of the conversation, it makes enough sense. But Seungcheol's dimples deepen because in the context of your history with him, the words are a consolation. 
He only becomes certain of it later that night when he's washed up and throws himself into his sheets to find his phone lighting up in the darkness. It's you. 
promising young woman sent you a link 
promising young woman: rats actually have a great immune system so joke's on u 
And that's all it takes for Seungcheol to go back to his lovesick self, squeaking into his pillow as he reads your text over and over until he can comprehend that not only have you unblocked him of your own accord (debatable) but were also texting him first. 
– 
The next time you run into Seungcheol, it really brings his contact name to life. But before that, enter Soobin, a shy blonde who's recently moved to the town. 
"You like Lamp, huh?" 
Soobin jumps around, eyes flailing around as if you'd caught him red-handed. And you might as well have, what with how he'd been humming and swaying to the music leaking out of the speakers in your bookstore. You'd enjoyed watching the younger man visit the store more frequently the past few weeks, always in the evening hours when you would finally break open your playlists, a luxury you only allowed near closing time. 
"Ha," he nervous laughs, "Y-Yeah… Sorry, I didn't think you were still here."
"I run the place, Soobin. It'd be a bit of a problem if I just took off." You smile at his flustered sigh and move past him to shelf a book you'd taken out to review earlier. "Anyway, we're closing soon. You buying anything today or…?" 
Soobin looks at the thick book in his hands and you recognize it as a new arrival but then he flips it around, a little unsure. "Umm, I'm not– this seems cool but also scary so probably not?"
"I'll take it off your hands then?" you offer with an understanding shrug. But he shakes his head eagerly, "No, no, don't worry. I remember where I took this from. I don't want to get in your way."
"...All right," you reply after a pause. Then, brushing your hands against your pants, "Let me know if you need help, anyway." 
But Soobin's far from one to bother you as he leaves wordleslly, not without assisting you relocate some heavy boxes to the store before you lock up for the day. You're calling out goodbye after him as he takes off into the night when you hear soft barks closing in on you, 
For a beat, you freeze because the sound is excruciatingly nostalgic and you genuinely think you must've time travelled when you turn around to see Seungcheol running toward you with a very excited Kkuma leading the way. You're already dropping to a squat when the dog scurries to your feet, licking at your ankle before you get your hands on her.
You let out an undignified coo at the white ball of fur, "Kkuma, my baby. Aww, baby, you're so sweet. Look at you!" You go on for a little bit, fussing over her as she rolls over for some belly rubs before you come to and become aware of the way Seungcheol stands by, patiently watching. 
You slowly rise to your feet with an awkward smile. 
"I'm convinced she still loves you more than me," the man starts with a pout, "And it's still so unfair. Kkuma, I'm your dad. I pay for your meals and grooming, you know?"
You laugh at the way he scolds his dog in a small voice as you retort, "Maybe she's in her rebellious years. Let her be."
Seungcheol's soft gaze lands on you with a huffed chuckle. And then he looks at something behind you. "Who was that, by the way? New conquest?"
You throw your hands up in the air. "Come on, man. You can't keep doing this!"
"Doing what?"
"Snooping around in my business! And also making me sound like some kind of a player." 
Seungcheol looks down like he's reflecting. Kkuma paws at his leg with a whine and you look between them before letting out a cough.
"That was Soobin. If you must know." You look away as you say this, like it was no big deal, reporting on your customers to your ex-boyfriend because he still got all whiny when he saw you with another man. Neither of you is ready to address the meaning of your actions toward each other quite yet. So you both pretend it's normal when Seungcheol lights up a little when you speak up. 
"Soobin…? Haven't hear that name before."
"Yeah, he moved in a few weeks ago. Shy guy but very smart," you say, "And I think he wants to work part-time at the bookstore." 
"Woah," Seungcheol's ears perk up, "That's great, Y/N! You could totally use the help."
You turn to face him, arms crossed yet again, with a suspecting look on your face. "Hmm, I guess you could say that. I haven't popped the question yet though so don't go around spreading rumors." 
"Aww, you know I would never snitch on you like that! Unless he makes a move on you, of course, because that would be a very different story–"
"Seungcheol." 
Nice. That would be three points to Seungcheol if he was keeping count of how many times you'd said in his name in that grave voice of yours, indicating that you were mad but also couldn't cover up the laughter that bled into your tone anyway. And he was. 
– 
"What about you? You were gone a while."
Seungcheol counts his blessings every minute you spend with him, even if a lot of it was you pushing him away. But you couldn't stay consistent with your cold demeanour for much longer, not with him making sure he ran into you just as you closed your store. With Kkuma scurrying for love and his innocent blush whenever you greeted him, it wasn't long before you were letting your walls down. 
So it's no surprise that you find yourself curious of what he'd been upto in the month-long visit he'd paid to his best friend. 
Initially, Seungcheol's giddy ove your question, like you were on a first date all over again and not just walking along the dim grass fields like you so often did. "You know how it is with Jeonghannie. I meant to be there for a week but… one thing led to another and I was there for a while."
You fall silent, trying to imagine what it must've been like for him. "He still lives near that college, doesn't he?"
"Yeah. He's a strange fellow."
"Not that strange. College towns are like cities," you chuckle, "but with less crime and cranky people."
"I don't know, college students are pretty cranky too. Maybe even worse than the average city person." You raise a brow at Seungcheol's grimace.
"What, did Jeonghan force you to fraternize with college kids or what?"
Okay, now Seungcheol's getting a little worried when he realizes where this is going. And even though everything's in the past for him, he can't help but hesitate to tell you what exactly he'd been up to.
"...Yeah, I mean, most of his friends are college seniors. He knows them from his time there so it's pretty chill."
A few more questions from you have Seungcheol pulling out his phone to supply you with some visuals for some of the events he's mentioning and the way you softly laugh into his shoulder at the sight of the chaotic night parties has him getting a little careless. 
"Wait, wait, who was that?" you stop Seungcheol's now excited swiping with a cold hand to his forearm. He freezes, more because he realizes what you're trying to see than the temperature of your body against his. 
"Um, oh–" he watches dumbly as you go back a few photos to a selfie of him and a girl. They're grinning in the photo, teeth on display and cheeks clearly red from intoxication. 
"Ohh, is she one of his college friends? She's cute–" You interrupt your own musings over the stranger when you go back another photo in his gallery. This time it's a photo of the girl kissing Seungcheol on the cheek, his eyes closed with a shy smile. 
"That's–" Seungcheol barely opens his mouth to explain but trails off when you abruptly pull away from him. "She's– A friend… Um, goes to college in the place and she's–" He stops talking with a groan because great, all his stuttering has you side-eyeing him, no doubt recognizing the guilt swimming in his eyes.
Your voice is so small when you finally speak up, pace increasing. "That's cute," is all you say.
"Wait, Y/N, you don't understand. I know what I sound like but–"
"Just to be clear," you stop your brisk walking to hold up a hand in between you and him as if to symbolize the space there. "You don't have to explain anything to me. It's all cool, Seungcheol." 
And the way you murmur his name transports him back a couple months, a similar breezy night. One where you'd pulled him away from a group dinner with your friends and looked down at your feet the whole time but your words had pierced right through his heart anyway. Even back then, you said his name softly, without any malice, but even that might've been merciful. Because what's worse is the way you uttered his name like goodbye, sincere enough to bring tears to his eyes, even now, as he watches your forlorn back disappear into the night. 
Zero points to Seungcheol. 
– 
"Y/N, you in there?"
It takes a good minute of Nayeon repeating her questioning in increasing volume for you to finally hear her knocks over the sound of the music playing through your headphones. You frown as you uncover one ear and call out, "Nayeon? What happened?" The door to your room slowly creaks up, revealing your roommate standing there with her hands occupied, each holding up a bottle of soju invitingly.
"Wanna talk about it?" 
You're already tearing up when she asks you that and by the time you've both drunk your way through the bottles, your eyes feel numb. You interrupt your own worrying over how swollen they were bound to be tomorrow when you point a finger at Nayeon and question, "I really needed this today. How'd you know?"
She smiles, "Of course I did. You ignored my text about eating at Mingyu's Kitchen and my offer to pay. Plus, you didn't do the thing you usually do where you come in and complain about your ex."
You pout, "I'm sorry. I must be so annoying."
"You are," Nayeon shrugs, "And I like it. But you know what I would like more? If you would just make up with him already."
"No."
"Is this about that one photo of some girl kissing him on the cheek? You know how petty it is to get jealous over something like that?"
"She was seriously pretty, Nayeon!" you defend yourself, "And I'm not jealous, just– just upset because he didn't tell me earlier. I feel so stupid."
"I'm sorry, babe," she mutters, rubbing your back, "He's an idiot for not just coming clean."
"I know! Even after he went sticking his nose in my business and who I slept with while he was gone!"
You sniffle, "Maybe I should just call him and tell him to never ever talk to me again. And that he's a jerk. And that I still love him."
"Wait a second," Nayeon pulls you back onto your butt on the floor, "Maybe, let's reconsider that last part?"
You're clearly more drunk than you let on because you look genuinely confused by her interjection. "What? About me hating him?"
– 
When you drag yourself into work on Monday, you expect a lot of things. You see the headache coming, from last night's drinking and this morning's lack of hot water. You also know it's going to rain the whole day so it's only harder to put one foot after another to move. And where you also expect to pestered by a man: the desperate pleas don't come from Seungcheol like you'd secretly hoped.
"Soonyoung?"
The man, who'd been impatiently pacing by the entrance to your store, stops at the sound of your voice and spins around, nearly slipping over thanks to the wet ground. He throws the daunting hood covering his eyes with a bright smile as you run over and hastily unlock the store.
"Why're you out here in the rain?" 
Soonyoung sighs in relief once he's inside brushing his damp pants off with a quick hand. Then, he looks up with a shy expression, "Well, I… need to ask you something."
And given his past mooning over you, when he says that with a nervous laugh, you're stiffening up because you think you know where this is going. But then, Soonyoung defies your expectations for the second time yet again. 
Because where you'd expected to have to turn him down with an incompetent attempt at kindness, the next hour finds you grappling with all the information he's throwing at you.
For starters, he does ask you out. But– "It's fake. Dont worry, I'm not actually into you like that," he quickly adds with a dry laugh. 
As it turns out, he's asking you to help him make a move on a girl he only recently realized he liked. Her name's Chaewon and the only thing you know about her is that she owns a strawberry farm and can sing on ocassion. So you're easily worried by this proposition, "Soonyoung, why would you pretend to be with someone else? Shouldn't you be asking her out?" 
The boy heaves a sigh, "Y/N, I hate it to break it to you but nobody does that anymore. Keep up with the times, won't you? Jealousy is the new I like you."
"I'm pretty sure that's not true," you scoff out, refusing to let Soonyoung peg you as old-fashioned. Your stomach swims at his words anyway, ming wandering to your own… jealousy issues with a certain someone.
"Anyway, there's an open observatory night or something at her farm tonight with complementary dinner after. And I need you to come with me and make her jealous." 
"I don't like how serious you are about this," you complain, "And I don't think I want to be a part of this evil scheme."
"Please, Y/N, you're the only one I can rely on! And you're basically a celebrity around here, when it comes to dating."
You frown, finally looking away from the shelf you'd been re-ogranizing, "What do you mean?"
Soonyoung bites his lip, clearly having said something he shouldn't have. You poke at his arm urgently with a glare. He groans, giving in, "Well, it's just… your break-up with Seungcheol was the only thing anyone could talk about last month! And then the gossip only resurfaced when he came back to town."
"What kind of gossip?" you press with narrow eyes. 
"I– can't say."
"Soonyoung," you warn him, "Tell me. Or I won't pretend to be your girlfriend."
"Oh, come on! This is blackmail!"
"I thought you really wanted to be with Chaewon, no?" you question with inordinate amounts of innonence in your smile, "Makes you want to paint flowers onto the sky for her, doesn't she?"
"Fine, I'll tell you but only because this side of you is scary," the boy sighs out, "People think the reason you broke up with him was because he cheated on you. And now he's back in town so he can apologize and make up with you… or whatever." 
"That's ridiculous!" you cough out, "Who's been spewing this nonsense? I'm gonna have to–"
He holds your arm in an attempt to ground you, "Nobody really thinks it's true though! And remember how you promised to not tell a soul about a word I told you today?"
"I don't because I never said that–!"
"Seungcheol's gonna be there tonight, too, if that helps?"
Soonyoung's clearly much more devious than you last remember him being but when he explains that this could be a win-win situation for both of you– where he makes Chaewon realize her feelings for him, you also make Seungcheol jealous with your little act. 
And while you're sure to curse the him out for his assumption that you would want to get back with Seungcheol at all to begin with, the idea does leave an impression on you. Your mind's gears are working really hard, not just because you're trying to figure out a new spread for the monthly display at the front of your bookstore, but also because you keep finding loopholes in Soonyoung's grand plan.
"But is pretending to be together for one dinner really going to convince anyone? I mean, no offense, but nobody I know will believe that."
Soonyoung shrugs, "It's not just for one night. We're obviously going to do other stuff." You scrunch your nose up in disgust. "But think of tonight as the opening night. What we do tonight determines how the rest of our lives will pan out. We could end up lonely and dreadful if one of us messes up."
– 
For all of your criticism of Soonyoung's hyperbolic description of a dubious scheme, that evening finds you making double-takes in the front camera of your phone every other minute. Yep, turns out your nose was still on your face.
"Y/N, you look great," Soonyoung calls out finally, having watched you the whole ride to the venue. It was part of his plan, of course, to make things seem more official in his words. "So can you stop?"
"Are you sure you don't like me?"
As it often happens, your own question catches you more off-guard than it does Soonyoung. Your nerves have succesfully taken over your bodily functions. 
"I don't, Y/N," he responds with an easy smile, "I don't know why you keep asking me that. Do you like me or something?"
You sigh. "Sorry. It just seemed like that for a while. But I'm glad you don't, it makes things a lot easier."
"Good," he hums and then, after a beat passes, "By the way, when all of this over and both of us are hopefully happily in love with our respective partners–"
"I'm not in love with Seung–"
"And after you're done denying your feelings– Maybe we can be friends?"
You nod with a thoughtful hum, "Sure. That sounds fine. Except I thought we were already friends?"
Conversation with Soonyoung becomes a lot less tiresome when you've both established the purely platonic basis of your relationship. Which is ironic because fifteen minutes later, he's whispering in your ear to smile as he reaches for your hand. But his presence is still comforting and you find yourself wondering why you hadn't always found it this easy to be friends with him. The thought keeps you distracted momentarily and then, you lock eyes with Seungcheol. 
You were standing next to Soonyoung when it happened, hand in his as he caught up with friends and purposefully showed off his new relationship. The news was as unexpected to them as it was to you this morning and keeps conversation busy enough to allow you to be completely zoned out. And then you spot Seungcheol across the room, his eyes fixed on you in the distance and his mouth set in an intimidating line.
You look away with a cough, feeling your neck grow warmer. Soonyoung senses the change in your mood and when he asks if you're okay, you lean into his ear and complain, "Fuck, I just made eye-contact with him." 
He breaks into a grin at your indirect admission to still liking your ex. If Seungcheol knew the context to your arrangement with Soonyoung, he would find this entire exchange heart-warming, losing it over how shy you've gotten. But he doesn't know.
So in his eyes, it just looks like you've just whispered an inside joke into another man's ear and his chuckles are out of fondness. And that's why attributes your shy flush to Soonyoung's response to you, and not the eye-contact you'd made with him seconds ago.  
Seungcheol spends the rest of the night lurking. He skirts your surroundings, his eyes in disbelief every time you don't pull away from Soonyoung's hand on you. He's confused and jealous. The combination has him malfunctioning in a corner when he spots you breaking away from Soonyoung's side for the first time that evening. 
He doesn't even spare a thought to his actions when he springs forth, trailing you to the refreshments. You're trying to refill your lemonade even though you don't really have the desire to drink it anymore, mainly because Soonyoung had approached Chaewon and it seemed like his plan was working because you'd never felt so invisible in a conversation before. 
You can feel the act tiring you out though because you don't notice it when Seungcheol sneaks up to your side, breathing down your neck and staring seriously even when you spin around and almost spill your drink all over yourself in surprise. 
"S-Seungcheol!" you groan out, flustered but relieved your dress didn't have to suffer the consequences of your weakness around him. But your heart certainly did, especially when the man stepped closer, voice few octaves lower than usual.
"What are you doing with him?"
You go silent, knowing that you should feel unsettled by the absence of friendliness in his tone but only feel yourself enjoy the way he's so obvious about his jealousy. You look back at him, trying to seem innocent but immediately hate the way his eyes have reddened. "I'm… helping Soonyoung out."
Seungcheol's expression is a big question mark at that. A big angry question mark followed by an exclamation point, if you will. "...by following him around on his arm all night?" 
"Um… yeah," you look over his shoulder to make sure Soonyoung's still occupied by Chaewon and the momentary lack of attention is already pissing your ex-boyfriend even more. You hate lying but you convince yourself that right now, you're simply witholding information from someone. 
"I don't get it, Y/N," he says, "Did I lose my chance with you?"
The question catches you completely off-guard, leaving you gaping at Seungcheol. You were used to his short-temper and his incessant questions but this was new: the solemn setting of his lips and his downcast eyes as he asked you if he still stood a chance with you. He was being vulnerable, you realized, in a way that he never was during your relationship. The change is dizzying, it really is, and you can only think of all the other ways Seungcheol's been changed since he returned.
And all the ways he's stayed the same.
You swallow against the lump in your throat, "Come with me." 
You lead him to a slightly more secluded part of the observatory, a dimly lit corner that's orchestrated by more crickets and the lack of chatter is a welcome relief to your already crowded senses. "I'm not actually with Soonyoung," you breathe out, the truth weighing heavily on your tongue even though you'd only pretended for the one night, "I'm pretending to, because he asked me to." 
Seungcheol's eyes widen, "What? You're fake-dating that guy? Why?"
"He likes Chaewon," you point them out for him over his shoulder but Seungcheol only stares at your face with a serious expression. You retract your pointer with a flushed face, "And they were apparently getting nowhere, despite both liking each other. So he figured he needed some intervention."
You point to yourself this time with a half-smile and then remember the unimpressed look on Seungcheol's face. You watch his face carefully but he remains still for over a minute. 
"Well, I'm only telling you because you asked so nicely," you clear your throat, feeling a little stupid now that he's gone mute, "Do with that what you will. I'm gonna go back…"
You pat your dress down and exhale heavily, trying to steel yourself against both the disappointment and the cold night-air. You've already rejoined the noisy crowd, only a few steps away when you pick up on Seungcheol's voice. 
"--meant nothing…" is all you can pick up so you turn around to find him at an arm's length, muttering something, too low for it to be audible. You say, "What did you say?"
"I said that the photo you saw that day meant nothing. She's Jeonghan's girlfriend and I slept with her once. I also pretended to be into her but only so I could forget about you."
More than anything, you're shocked by the way he emphasizes you, the word coming out stronger than the rest of his explanation, one that does more to soothe your nerves than you realize. But you also don't know what to with this new information, because your brain can't keep up with how much more context there might be to it– Why did he sleep with her if she's with Jeonghan? And why did he look so happy in the photo if it meant nothing?
But tonight isn't about you, it's about Soonyoung and you've made a promise to him. So you tell Seungcheol, "I've gotta get back, Cheol–" the nickname slips out before you've censored yourself. Your face burns but you turn away quickly. "I- See you later."
The crowd is so close to you, just another step or two and you could be lost in the sea of half-familiar faces and probably get caught up in catching up with someone or the other. But if the crowd is close, then Seungcheol is closer to you. 
His hands are on your shoulders, warm heat invading your exposed arms pleasantly when he holds you back with that pained look of his. At this point, you're only partly grounded in your body, floating around when you hear Seungcheol's words to you. "I'm still in love with you, Y/N. Never stopped loving you, to be honest." 
That brings you back to earth with a jerk and you blink at him slowly. "I–" you start and then trail off. Then you start again, now that reality's starting to set again. "I feel the same. Obviously. I tried to move on but– ugh, I still love you." You feel Seungcheol's arm slide down to your elbows and then to find your hands, intertwining your fingers with his like he'd imagined doing ever since he got back to town.
"So we're good?" Seungcheol asks you, licking his lips with a small smile.
"Um, well, what do you mean by that because if– I mean, if we're friends–" You're trying to think of a way to state your thoughts in a self-respectful way when he leans in, lips brushing against your with a soft sigh. Your own breath hitches, especially when Seungcheol's hands come up to cup your face with a gentleness you forgot he could muster. He kisses you, sweet and soft, and when you pull away it's with a stupid grin.
He matches your grin, "Does that make things clear? We're not friends. I want to kiss your face and it would be great if you stopped pretending to date other men–"
The mention of fake-dating has you gasping loudly as you push Seungcheol away hastily, "Fuck, I'm supposed to be with–" You turn around and no doubt, everyone rushes to look away but you know the damage has been done when you hear scattered applause and whistles. The sight is heart-warming to you in a universe where you haven't just fucked up a plan. 
"I messed up big-time," you tell Seungcheol with an exasperated groan. 
The man regards you with thinly-concealed glee, "We kiss and make up but you're complaining because…?"
"Soonyoung! I was supposed to–"
Seungcheol doesn't do anything to help when he leans in to peck your lips again. You scowl at him, "What was that for?"
"Sorry, I just forgot what I was to you for a moment there, what with you going on about another man–"
"Cheol, I just confessed my love to you," you scold him but your ears turn pink, "And you're my boyfriend. So don't forget that. But right now, I need to go find my fake-boyfriend or I'll have blood on my hands–"
You're rushing to spot Soonyoung's head in the crowd when he suddenly appears, much closer than you'd anticipated, probably because he's heading right at you. You start to feel the guilt build up in your throat but then you see the grin he's sporting and the way he's skipping toward you. 
"Soonyoung," you call out, "I'm sorry–" you gesture toward Seungcheol vaguely, "I got a little caught up."
"Ahh, don't worry about it!" the boy chuckles lightly and then crosses his arms like he does when he has something to tell you, "I'm– The plan worked!"
"What?! It did? But I thought–?"
"Yeah, well, one part of the plan was to get you and Seungcheol together?" Soonyoung reminds you with a sly smile. You feel Seungcheol's arm around you as he pipes up, "It was???" You ignore how excited he sounds and narrow your eyes at Soonyoung, "Okay, but we clearly just ruined the whole act! What about–"
"Chaewon got jealous. And then when we spotted you and Seungcheol kissing, she was about to be really mad at you but I explained things to her… and then, she was mad at me but then… um, well, we, you know, kissed it out."
"Soonyoung!" you exclaim, clapping your hands together in relief, "That's great! We don't have to date anymore!" 
Soonyoung laughs at your phrasing but you're busy being wooed by the smitten smile on Seungcheol's face when squeezes your hand, muttering, "You all mine now?" 
– 
Cue star-gazing with Seungcheol. 
It was his idea, one he'd suggested out loud to you over the dinner that was also his idea, the candle between you flickering with your breathless agreement. You were in love with Seungcheol like you'd been for as long as you remember. The break-up, creeping up into your mind thanks to a combination of a lull in your relationship with him and doubts of whether there might be someone else for both of you, seemed like a faraway event already when you resumed your life with him.
"The stars are pretty, aren't they?"
You hum in agreement to Seungcheol, fiddling with his fingers. His laughter bleeds into your body, "You're not even looking up at the sky, baby."
You shift to lay down next to him. "I was!" you defend, "But then I got scared. The stars just make me feel so insignificant. And temporary." Your voice breaks a little, "I don't want temporary."
Seungcheol wraps around you, bringing your face up to his and watching you blink the tears out of yours. "Oh, doll, you're so precious," he huffs out, running a thumb under your eyes, "I love you. Fuck being temporary, okay? I'm going to be with you forever."
"You can't guarantee that though," you mumble out.
"I know I can't. Because I could die before you or like be abducted by the aliens when they inevitably come colonize us. We all know I'd be their first pick."
"You know that's not what I meant."
"Y/N, we're still together, even after we broke up," he kisses your cheek to emphasize your togetherness, "We're in love, despite it all. And that seems solid enough to me, you know? The scariest part of going into a relationship is the possibility of separating. But if we've done it before, how bad can it be?"
"What if we break up again?"
"Then we'll figure something out," Seungcheol says, "I know we will. It might not be the same as always but I promise I'll always be a part of your life for as long as I can." 
You sniffle into his shoulder, "I love you. Can you please beg the aliens to take me with you?" 
Seungcheol's laughter resounds through you yet again, a hand brushing your hair lovingly. You were finally wearing your hair down again, and it might've something to do with the way he would find a way to slip the hairtie out of its place. It sits around his wrist now, worn-out but incredibly dear to him. 
"Of course, love, anything for you." 
–  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
the seungcheol brainrot never stops <3 i hope i've done this seungcheol justice, given what he went through in jeonghan's fic lol... anyway, i'm thinking of writing another part where jeongcheol catch up or something?? may be an interesting collision of worlds... we'll see.
811 notes · View notes
robinheaney12 · 9 months
Text
I finished HeartStopper season two and I’m rewatching again 😂
⚠️Spoilers ahead⚠️
But can I just say they made ben’s character even worse than last season (if that’s even possible). Like he made Nick feel bad about not coming out immediately, acted as though his actions (the assault and the way he treated Charlie) was just a “misunderstanding”, claimed that Nick stole Charlie from him (like fuck off), said Nick was like him which is a load of absolute bullshit, treated Imogen like shit, called her a bitch, spoke to Charlie as though Charlie and him are fine AND THEN had the audacity to follow Nick and Charlie to that art gallery thing and apologise expecting Charlie to forgive and then you could see in his face that he was pissed that Charlie wouldn’t forgive him. Like what did he expect?? Honestly he’s worse this season and I hate him even more than I already did and I hated him with every fibre of my body!!!
In all honesty though I want him in season three because I love Sebastian Croft and his acting is amazing!!!
Tbh I’m kinda sad that he isn’t in season three because I love Sebastian but I’m happy at the same time because I hate Ben and Charlie shouldn’t have to deal with him again.
I bet good money that people are gonna excuse his actions because he “apologised” BFFR his apology didn’t mean shit and he didn’t even look as though he was being genuine.
Other than that season two was AMAZING and I loved it!!!! So adorable even with Ben and David being little shits.
6 notes · View notes
itadore-you · 1 month
Text
pairing: nanami kento x fem!reader c/w: implied smut, not canon events but it should be w/c: only 600 words today sorry <3
The way how Nanami tears off his clothes when he gets home: his tie already loosened the second he gets in the car; the dents at the back of his stiff, expensive oxford shoes because he can't be bothered to take them off properly; the trail of clothes left along the hallway as he finally reaches you. You've been waiting for so long for him to come back home, to be in your arms again. All those hours spent in a dull trance, wary and anxious that he's been badly injured from this mission.
The second that the hallway lights spill from underneath the door, you stand up giddily, knowing that he's back.
'My love...' Nanami says breathlessly, the chill from outside still burning on his cheeks. You rush into his arms, relaxing at his touch.
'Thank god you're back, Kento, I missed you so much.'
'I know, honey. I missed you too.'
You help him to unbutton his shirt, knowing how much he hates being in his work clothes. Nanami is eager to kiss you the moment it drops to the ground, hands circling your waist to bring you in closely.
'I quit today. It's all over now,' He pants between your kisses. 'You don't need to worry anymore.'
'What? What's over?" You're praying hard between each second you hold your breath, the day has finally come -
'I quit the job. No more fighting, and no more curses. Today was the last day.'
With his words, you can almost feel how each and every fibre of muscle in his body finally relaxes, how something comes back to life in his eyes again when he looks at you. Something about loving someone so deeply has imprinted on your soul, to a point where you start to think that maybe you become your other half somewhere along the way. Maybe emotions aren't all for one to bear - when one's away, you can still feel the other's suffering.
'When Nanami's happy, you're happy' is an understatement. The two of you are euphoric as you hold each other; Kento sweeps you off your feet as he's unable to contain his joy.
"I might have to burn these clothes forever. I never want to see them again," He sighs after eventually setting you down.
"I know it'd remind you of the past, but Ken," You watch as he kicks the shirt, tie and harness to the side - "I do always love seeing you in a nice suit and tie."
He raises an eyebrow in response, making you giggle. "I'll just have to find a new signature colour for you, won't I?"
"I'd love that, Kento..."
"Come, let me show you how much I love you."
With one swift motion, he's got you in the closest room possible, making sure that the surface he pins you against isn't too uncomfortable - it's a little indecent that he could barely keep his hands off of you in the hallway, but with the way how you look tonight (it's simply the radiance that happiness gives you), he can't help himself. Kento Nanami is a lost man until you give him purpose.
Just as he nips at your neck, he pulls away, blond hair falling into his eyes. "I apologise for coming on so quickly, I just-"
"No need to ask Kento, I want you right now."
He nods, pressing a fervent kiss to your lips, almost shaking when he eventually pulls away. "Mhm?"
"And I'd want you again. And again. It can all be tonight or tomorrow, whenever," You pant between kisses. "We have all the time in the world."
------------------------
Death comes to many too often, and even the life of a regular person can be cut short in an instant. Smaller threats outside of jujutsu sorcery still exist. But what's the point in thinking about that? In comparison to Nanami's previous daily life, it feels like nothing can harm him now.
Maybe, just maybe, both of you can grow old together, like this.
232 notes · View notes
lupinmoonlight · 2 months
Note
Hi! Could you write an alpha prof!remus x omega reader in heat. He gets her to his office after lessons to offer help and she agrees to spend the night( breeding kink)
Masterlist AO3
Alpha, please.
Summary - You are an omega about to experience her first heat. Professor Lupin offers to help and you end up getting railed in the Shrieking Shack (3,416 words).
Warnings - teacher/student relationship, omega verse, alpha!remus, omega!reader, breeding kink, unprotected sex, dubious consent because reader not very in control, age gap, my grammar (english is not my first language), not proof read.
Notes - Throwing this here and RUNNING AWAY. I am SO sorry for the delay, I was hit by a bus (jk lol i'm just burnt out). On a serious note, this was my first time ever writing something in the Omegaverse. Sorry if it sucks :( Thank you to everyone for your patience. I will eventually get to your request!
He noticed your scent before noticing you- a wave of pure, unadulterated omega scent that struck him like a physical blow, a visceral assault on his senses. The classroom, usually a blend of various scents, was now entirely dominated by this scent. Your scent, one of an omega on the cusp of her first heat yet blissfully unaware of it but one that Remus, an alpha, sensed with every fibre of his being. It was rich, sweet, intoxicating, awakening a primal need he had learned to control years ago. An almost uncontrollable need to own, to mark, to protect, to make his. 
As an alpha, the presence of an unclaimed omega, especially one as evidently oblivious to their own nature as you, was concerning. Why were you there without suppressants? How could you not know what was about to happen to you? It was dangerous. Both for you and for any other alpha around, yet there you were, looking as calm and serene as if it were just another day. 
You took a seat at the front of the class, your eyes glued to him. He was tall, commanding, exuding the authority and confidence of an alpha and you hated to admit how much it drew you in. Deep down, you were not interested in following the traditional roles of your status. You didn't want to submit to anyone. The thought alone filled you with dread...except right now. 
The class began and Remus found himself incapable of focusing on his carefully prepared lecture, distracted by the powerful need for something he didn't even allow himself to entertain. It was like all his senses were heightened. He could hear everything, feel everything. Too much. 
The lecture drew to a close, and you began to slowly pack up your belongings, your mind unconsciously reluctant to part from your professor. He made you feel so- 
"Y/N, may I have a word with you before you leave?" Remus asked. His voice was calm but it held an underlying urgency that he hoped you wouldn't notice. 
You looked up to him, your eyes wide and innocent, and in that moment, it felt like you would've done anything this man asked you. What was wrong with you? 
"Yes, Professor Lupin?"
He cleared his throat, attempting to appear casual. 
"Y/N, I... uh, I need to discuss something somewhat personal with you, and I apologize for the discomfort," he began. 
Your brows knitted in confusion, your posture tense. "Something personal, Professor?" 
He paused, gathering his thoughts, carefully selecting his next words. "I've noticed...that is, I've sensed...that you might be approaching a significant time that's inherent to your nature as an omega." 
Your expression shifted from confusion to embarrassment, unsure where he was going with this. "I- I'm not sure to understand, Professor... what do you mean?" 
Remus hesitated, his instincts as an alpha to protect and take charge clashing with his respect for you and your autonomy. "It seems that uh... you're about to experience your first heat, Y/N. It's a critical time for an omega, and it can be very dangerous if you're not prepared or aware." 
Your eyes widened, your embarrassment escalating into fear. "My first heat? But... I- I didn't know... I thought I had more time before... before that happened," you admitted shyly. 
Remus nodded, trying to appear comforting despite the turmoil raging within him. "It's unpredictable at times, especially the first one," he assured you. "It's imperative that you have a safe place and proper care during this period, especially considering that... well I assume, considering you haven't been on any suppressants." 
You looked away, uncomfortable. "No... no I haven't."
"That's okay. That's why I'm offering to help. I can provide a safe place for you, ensure that you have what you need to get through this safely. It's not ideal... but I cannot, in good conscience, let you face this alone." 
You suddenly wanted this very much, despite your habit of fighting your inner nature at every turn- no. You were not going to be a weak, vulnerable omega who needed an alpha to protect her. You could manage. You would manage. This was no big deal. 
"I can handle it myself, Professor," you said, trying to sound confident but failing pretty miserably. 
"I understand, but I assure you, my intentions are solely to offer protection and support. I wouldn't suggest this if there weren't a genuine need." 
At that moment, you weren't sure if he was just very good at being persuasive, or if your pathetic omega nature begged you to bend to his "protection". 
"Are you sure?" the question coming out more as a challenge. 
"Yes, I am. It's my responsibility as your professor and as an alpha to ensure you're safe," he affirmed. 
"O-okay, fine." 
"Just come to my quarters at the end of the day. I'll have everything prepared for you. We'll make sure you're as comfortable and safe as possible," he instructed and this time, his tone was firm, leaving no room for you to argue back. 
You simply nodded and made your way out of the classroom. The conversation had left you disoriented. Your lifelong determination to maintain independence and resist alpha authority was now clashing with an inexplicable trust in your professor. 
You had never expected your first heat to come so suddenly. You thought there would be signs to prepare you, like most other omegas. But no. It was just there. And what was more embarrassing was that it wasn't you who found out first. It was an alpha. And your professor, at that. 
You seriously considered not going to his quarters that night. Not because you were scared or didn't trust him, but just for the shame you felt. That shame, however, was quickly overshadowed by fear. You knew what could happen to unclaimed omegas who were in heat and who didn't take suppressants. Not all alphas were as kind as Remus. Some of them were vile predators ready to pounce on the first vulnerable omega they smelled. Somehow, you knew- rather inherently felt, that Remus wasn't like that. 
Swallowing your pride, you made your way to Professor Lupin's quarters, your stomach an absolute mess from the strange blend of anxiety and odd sense of security. 
Remus was already out by the door, a small bag in hand, a gentle smile, albeit somewhat anxious, expression gracing his face. 
"Thank you for coming, Y/N. I know this must be overwhelming," he said, trying to keep his voice soft and reassuring. 
You nodded, not sure you could trust your voice in that moment. 
He offered a small smile, then gestured for you to follow. "We're not staying here. I have a safer place in mind." 
You obeyed silently, following him through the corridors and then outside, the only sound being the small vials of potion clinking in the bag and the soft thumping of your feet on the wet grass. 
You had no idea where he was taking you, but it didn't matter. In that moment, you were quite literally trusting him with your life, and you hated that. 
Stopping before the Whomping Willow, Remus motioned for you to wait at a safe distance, and you watched in awe as he expertly pacified the violent tree, revealing a hidden entrance to an underground passage. 
Without questioning him, you proceeded in silence, making your way through some damp, sketchy tunnels. This was definitely not how you had expected to have your first heat and your need to be with him was growing stronger and stronger. In normal circumstances, you should have been scared, terrified even, following a grown alpha to Merlin-knows-where, but you actually were starting to feel desperate, aching for something you couldn't explain. 
You finally emerged into an old, creaking building, full of dust and looking like it was about to fall apart. Despite this, fresh blankets were laid out on the bed, candles provided a soft light, making it look somewhat comfortable. 
Remus carefully set down the bag of potions and turned to you, looking a bit sheepish. 
"It's not much, I know. But this place has been a refuge of sorts during my time here as a student... it's secluded, away from prying eyes and other... influences," he explained, deliberately vague about the deeper reasons. 
You looked around, taking in your surroundings. He was right, this wasn't much, but it was safe. "Thank you, Professor Lupin." 
"Please, call me Remus here," he insisted gently. "I'll let you settle down. I'll be just next door. If you need anything, just call for me."  
"Thank you, Remus." 
In the adjacent room. Remus sat rigidly, every muscle tensed, focusing on every breath, attempting to anchor himself to his resolve. He was battling his own nature, his instincts, usually so well-contained, were now threatening to overwhelm him, fuelled by your potent scent. It had been years since he'd felt such a primal pull, and he had never acted on it. So he sat, focusing on deep, steadying breaths. it was all he could do to maintain control. 
Meanwhile, you were beginning to experience the torturing onset of your heat. It was a violent assault of unfamiliar sensations, confusing, intense, leaving you feeling profoundly alone yet achingly in need of something- something, specifically Remus. The room felt too large, too empty, yet suffocating. 
Unable to bear the isolation and the escalating ache, you called out, your voice echoing a desperation you barely understood. "R-Remus... Remus, please... I don't know what's happening to me." 
Remus hesitated at the door, his hand clenched around the frame. "Y/N, I'm here. Tell me what you need," he encouraged.  
"I need... I need... I feel like i'm losing my mind. I need... I don't know," you stammered, your confusion and need radiating from you in a way that tugged relentlessly at Remus' instincts. 
He stepped just inside the room, his expression a mix of concern and fear- for you, for himself, for the line he was terrified of crossing. "I know, I know. I understand. It's your heat... and it's strong. But I brought something that might help," he said, retrieving a vial from the small bag he had brought. "Drink this; it should ease the symptoms." 
You took the vial with trembling hands and drank the potion, your eyes never leaving his as he sat cautiously at the edge of the bed. 
"Why is this happening to me like this? Shouldn't the potion work immediately?" you asked, panic evident in your tone. 
"It should, but... your heat seems to be very strong. Let's just wait for a moment. I'm here." 
"Remus... it's not working. Please, I need..." 
"I know what you need, Y/N. But I can't give it to you. We have to wait it out. It's going to be alright." 
This wasn't going to do. Being far from him was painful. Being close to him without getting what you needed what torture. You needed him in a way you had never needed anything else before. You needed him to consume you, to take you, to mark you, to breed you. 
"Alpha, please," you whispered without even meaning to. The moment the words left your lips, Remus froze, his heart racing as every fibre of his being, of his soul, responded to that word. It was spoken with such raw need that it resonated with the very essence of his being. His resolve shattered, not out of defeat, but out of an overwhelming need to fulfill his role as an alpha. 
Before you could react, you were flipped onto your stomach, the sound of a low growl reaching your ears. You were not even in control of your body anymore. Your instincts were controlling you, and you desperately raised your hips, presenting yourself to him in the most intimate way. 
The sight made Remus' blood travel south immediately. Already hard, he yanked down your trousers before unbuckling his own. You raised your hips higher, whining pathetically, desperate for him to take you. As he looked down at you, his cock throbbed with need and he knew then, there was no going back. 
"Please, alpha," you begged again, your voice trembling. "I need... I need you." 
"Fuck..." he growled, reaching down to position himself at your slick entrance. "I'm sorry," he started, his voice trembling, "this is the only way I know to help you." 
You closed your eyes, bracing yourself for the pain and pleasure that would soon consume you. "Please," you whimpered, "I need this." 
With a grunt, Remus pushed himself into you, your bodies connecting in a way that was both deeply intimate and primal. You gasped at the intrusion, your body trembling as you felt him filling you. 
He felt you tighten and tense as you tried to accommodate his size, your body reacting instinctively. "Relax," he instructed, his voice a low rumble. "You need to relax. Let me take care of you." 
His words, the authority in his tone, something deep within you responded. You forced yourself to relax, even as you felt his girth stretch you. He hissed in pleasure as he felt you accommodate him, your tightness almost too much. 
"That's it, good girl," he rasped out, one hand coming to rest on your lower back to steady you. His hips snapped forward, burying himself fully within you. 
You moaned, your entire being blissfully consumed by the feeling of fullness. 
"Are you alright?" he asked, staying very still within you. 
You could only nod before another desperate plea escaped you. "Yes, alpha... please, more."
At that, he allowed his instincts to fully take over. His hands gripped your hips painfully, and he began to move, his thrusts deep and powerful. A part of him was urging him to be gentle, but the other part, the alpha, was screaming at him to take what was his, to claim, to mate, and it was too strong to resist. He needed to feel you beneath him, to lose himself in the pleasure of your connection. 
You clung to the sheets, your nails digging into the fabric as Remus continued to rut into you. Your body rocked with every thrust, and soon enough, the pain began to fade, replaced by a blissful warmth that spread through your body. He knew he was taking a risk. A huge risk. But he couldn't help himself. He needed you, and you needed him. 
"Fuck, Y/N," he grunted as he continued his relentless pace. He leaned over you, his chest against your back, your bodies moulding together as though they were made for each other. "You feel so good," he growled low in your ear, his voice deep, rasping, reflecting his unending hunger. 
Each of his movement was sharp, controlled yet desperate, a constant rhythm of push and pull and he delved deeper into you, the pulsing throb of him only heightening your pleasure. 
"Alpha... alpha, please... I- I'm going to-" you tried to say but your orgasm tore through you with such force that you lost your voice. Remus didn't slow down. If anything, feeling you clench around him only fuelled his punishing pace. 
"I'm going to knot you," he announced. "I'm going to fill you up. Mark you as mine," he continued breathlessly. "I want everyone to know you're mine, to see you swollen with my seed, to see you bear my mark." 
You whined, barely able to hold yourself up from under his weight, but you managed to keep your hips elevated, desperate to be filled, to be marked, to be owned. 
His movements became jerky, sporadic as the wave of his release began to crest, each thrust of his hips pushing you further down into the mattress. "Take it," he rasped, "take my knot," his voice a harsh whisper against the shell of your ear before his teeth latched onto the soft skin of your neck, imprinting his mark on you. 
You moaned at the mix of pain and pleasure as his hand traveled down your arm, tangling your fingers together and with a final, deep thrust, he surrendered to the pleasure, his body shuddering as he came inside you. His hips flush against yours, his body draped protectively over yours as he poured himself into you with abandon. Finally he stilled, grunting as he felt the knot at the base of his cock start to swell. 
The sensation was foreign, somewhat painful, and you tensed, almost instinctively trying to move away. 
"Shh, it's okay, it's okay," he tried to soothe, still panting from his intense climax. "Stay still for me. It'll subside soon, I promise." 
He remained on top of you for a while, the knot locking you together, securing a powerful and intimate bond between you. His fingers stroked your skin gently, before he carefully maneuvered you to your side, spooning you protectively as his knot was still deeply lodged within you. 
"I know, it's okay. I'm just making you more comfortable. I've got you," he soothed as you whimpered from the movements. 
You stayed like that, your bodies intimately connected, until the knot subsided enough for Remus to pull out. You whined at the sudden loss and the wet warmth spreading between your thigh. 
As he felt you relax into him, Remus gently kissed your temple before carefully disentangling himself from you. With a flick of his wand, the wet feeling between your legs disappeared and a blanket was draped over you. 
Turning to the potions bag, Remus retrieved a vial, his hands slightly trembling as he grasped the small bottle. 
"Y/N, can you sit up for me?" he asked gently, offering his hand to support you. 
With his help, you managed to move into a sitting position, your movements languid, utterly exhausted from what had just transpired. Remus handed you the potion, noticing your confused expression. 
"This is uh... it's just a precaution... to prevent any unwanted consequences," he explained, uncomfortable from the intimate implications of his words. 
Your cheeks flushed with a hint of color as you took the vial, your fingers brushing against his in the exchange. 
"Oh, I... thank you." 
"I know this looks like... perhaps I had planned for this to happen. But I promise, it is not the case. I simply keep this sort of supply for any students who may be in need." 
"I trust you, Remus. And this was bound to happen, one way or another... and I'm glad it was with you." 
"Well, I... erm. It's important to stay hydrated, especially after this. Here," he said, trying to change the subject. 
You laughed softly, accepting the water from him. He had this way of knowing exactly what you needed before you even knew yourself. You were actually thirsty, and the cool liquid helped soothe your parched throat. 
As you sipped your water, a sudden sharp pain caused you to reach for your neck, your fingers brushing against a fresh, deep red mark. You looked at Remus with questioning eyes, seeking an explanation. 
Remus, visibly uncomfortable and with a hint of regret in his eyes, cleared his throat before speaking. "That's... that's a mark. My mark," he began, struggling to maintain eye contact. 
"In the heat of the moment, it's something an alpha can leave on an omega. It's a claim, a deep, instinctual reaction that seals a powerful bond. I didn't mean to- I should have controlled myself better." 
Your fingers lingered on the mark, your initial shock giving way to a different emotion, one of a surprising acceptance and even a hint of joy. "Does this mean... are we mates now?" 
Remus nodded. "Yes, it does. And I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't intend for this to happen this way. You're a student. I should have been more careful, more in control. But please know, I will take responsibility. I will take care of you, support you, and I promise, I won't be overbearing. I'll-" 
"Remus, stop," you interjected, amused by his words tumbling our in a flustered rush. A smile crept onto your lips, a sense of deep contentment washing over you. 
"I'm not upset. In fact, I'm...happy," you confessed. 
Remus looked up, surprised. "You are?" 
"Yes, I am. To be marked by you, to be your mate... it feels right, despite everything. I don't see myself with any of those young inexperienced alphas..." 
"Young inexperienced alphas," he echoed. "Are you calling me old, miss?"
"Yes, maybe I am..." 
336 notes · View notes
trancylovecraft · 3 months
Note
Ok. But Kokushibo if s/o hugged or kissed him for the first time? Can be yandere or not. I don't mind.
(KNY) YANDERE! KOKUSHIBO x READER: Sandalwood (DRABBLE)
RECEIPT ✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
BARISTA'S NOTE: i love this man and his stupid six eyes and his stupid sword that could kill me and his long ahh hair and his- FANDOM: Demon Slayer
Thank you for ordering!
Come again soon!
Tumblr media
How long had it been?
[F/N]'s head lay against the admittedly comfortable pillow, The long dejected solace being finally let in, Nuzzling the cold of her cheek further into it. How long had it been since he had taken her hostage?
Days? Weeks? Months? Years? [F/N] didn't know how long it had been since she had been siphoned under the moons eye, Taken away in the cover of night and dragged into her own personal hell and called the unwilling wife of a monstrous man?
Now she stared at him blankly from across their shared bedroom, Him, The six-eyed beast that was fixing up his kimono and settling the wisps of ebony black hair in a much more pleasing way.
[F/N] recalled him saying something about a meeting of sorts, Where or why was unknown to her and she didn't dare ask. She only stared at him from behind, Looking at all the curves and the creases she had grown unfortunately accustomed to.
[F/N] remembered how horrid it was for her at first, Dragged away with his reptilian claws trying to grasp at whatever he could of her. His entrapping, Twisted and vile mockeries of affection he tried to show to his newfound 'wife'
The way his body forced itself to entwine with hers, His hands caging her waist. It had never went that far, But it had gone just far enough to satiate the beast. The man who she so desperately hated with every inch of her being.
But even so.. She yearned for him.
Actually.. Not him exactly, No, But what he could provide. She had been so isolated for so long, Siphoned just long enough to desire for that human touch. So much so that it didn't have to be human anymore, Monstrous, But all the more comforting.
[F/N] hated herself for it, How could she, The once respectable daughter of a wealthy clan sink so low to crave a demons love? Kokushibo, The demonic samurai of the night. Her "Husband".
She had tried so long to keep herself away, To keep some part of her dignity yet..
Hands snaked around his waist. Kokushibo's shoulders instantly raised as if to lunge for the hilt of his sword, Not even lowering once his mechanical head tilted to the side, Burning golden eyes staring down at his wife starting to hug him.
"..What.. What are you doing?"
His voice was demanding and gravelly, Coming deep from within his throat. [F/N]'s arms only coiled around him tighter, Despite everything telling her no, She had found comfort in the reverberation of his song.
She pressed her face into the dip of his back, Hips pressing into his just a little lower. [F/N] took in the scent of sandalwood drifting amongst the fibres of his kimono, Shutting her eyes just to emphasise that more.
"I.. I wanted to say my farewells to my Husband before he left for his meeting, I'm sorry.." She whispered into his back, Head pressing against him like the pillow she rested on. Even though she had apologised, She didn't relent her grip.
Though his shoulders depressed, Golden hues of his eyes staring back at her, Almost widening. [F/N] didn't dare to look back at him, What punishment or retribution could come from this..
But she felt the cold palms of the demon lay upon the ones situated around his waist, [F/N] opened her eyes. She was almost terrified once they gripped hers, Pried them from his waist before swiftly turning around on his heels.
[F/N]'s eyes widened, Stepping back. She was stupid-! She shouldn't of tried touching him- Is he going to hurt her?! Lock her in the closet again or would he finally bite the bullet and slice her ne-
The cold press of his lips touched the surface of her forehead.
[F/N]'s eyes widened as she finally realised the cold hand cupping her cheek, Rough yet loving. Tough palms yet they caressed her so gently as the coarse surface of his lips remained firm on her forehead.
She should of hated this, She should've detested it-!
"..Once I have returned from my meeting, I expect you to be ready with dinner.. Afterwards, Make sure to clean up.. Be prepared.." He breathed, Husky and demanding as he finally pulled away from her.
And as soon as his lips had met her forehead, He was gone. Disappearing into thin air, Assumedly summoned to wherever he had business being. The scent of sandalwood still lingered in the air, Leaving [F/N] star-crossed and dazed.
But she loved it all the same..
173 notes · View notes
diazsdimples · 14 days
Note
What do u say about these supposed hard core fans that are shipping buck Tommy? They gonna make the writers keep that homophobe around 😰
I am entirely the wrong person to ask about this.
Firstly, I ship Bucktommy AND Buddie. And this is possible! You are allowed to see Buck be happy with a man for the first time (how fucking good!!) but also wish upon the nearest star that he ends up with Eddie in the end. I truly believe Buddie is endgame but at the moment, I am more delighted at the fact that Buck is happy, with a man, experiencing a positive queer relationship.
The reason I ship Bucktommy is because look! at! how! happy! this! boy! is!!! I will ship ANY person that makes my little blorbo as happy and blushy and giggly as Evan Buckley is when he's with Tommy Kinard. He is SMITTEN. Do I think they're endgame? Not at the moment, no. Would I be upset if they were? I'd mourn the fuck out of Buddie, but I would be glad that Buck is finally happy and comfortable in a relationship. His happiness is paramount.
For the reasons why Buck's bisexual arc is more important than a ship, please read this post. It talks about the importance of representation in current media, and my own experiences of coming to terms with my bisexuality just before this arc was aired. What we're seeing with Buck's story is revolutionary, really. We haven't seen this kind of thing happen in media much at all and it is so important to show.
For any issues regarding Tommy, please read this post by the lovely @slightlyobsessedwitheverything. They beautifully go through all his appearances and break them down for us and I would urge you to read it with an open mind.
Now, about Eddie. I am an Eddie girlie (gn) through and through. That is my babygirl and I adore him with every fibre of my being. I would love nothing more than to see him go through a queer arc. However, right now, Eddie is not in the place to do so. We saw from the last episode that he's an untapped reservoir of Catholic guilt, and it's gonna take a lot to work through that, before he can have any kind of realisation re: Buck. He's very much in his comphet days but is starting to take some steps towards undoing some of his old habits, like getting Marisol to move out when he realises they're moving too fast.
With this in mind, I think it would be too rushed and too early for Buddie to get together right now. Yeah they've had many seasons of being married and living out of one another's pockets but given the stages of life they are both in, I feel it wouldn't end as well as we'd like it to. Eddie isn't in the right place for it. Buck is exploring his sexuality. They need time to learn and grow and do some serious thinking and realising before they can even begin to contemplate a relationship together.
Regarding the "homophobe", I am assuming this is referring to Edy Ganem and not Lou Ferrigno Jr. I would like it noted for the record that I cannot stand Edy and therefore cannot stand Marisol. If Meddie were to be endgame, I'd fume. They have no chemistry. They do not suit one another. And I don't believe Edy should be given a platform to spread her hateful rhetoric, and I hope the last we see of her is 7x07. I'm a little mad it wasn't 7x05 but there we go.
However, Tommy and Buck's storyline and Eddie and Marisol's storyline are entirely separate. The only thing that links them are Buck and Eddie, and their friendship. I don't believe that Tommy's existence means Marisol is going to stick around and I find it a little odd that you do. Buck can and has had relationships that aren't Eddie. Eddie can and has had relationships that aren't Buck. Buck being in a relationship does not mean Eddie will also be in one. Tommy's existence does not confirm Marisol's continued existence.
My current best case scenario is Eddie being single by the end of 7x07 (please god), and Buck and Tommy continuing their relationship, so Buck has the opportunity to learn and experience same-sex relationships while Eddie has the time to deconstruct his true feelings, get therapy, work through 30+ years of repression, and then they'll be ready.
ALSO I DO NOT WANT BUCK TO CHEAT ON TOMMY WITH EDDIE. WE ARE NOT HERE FOR THAT.
Best case scenario, sometime towards the end of s7 or beginning of s8, Buck and Tommy decide that they both want different things out of life, have an amicable split that doesn't leave either of them hurt, Tommy sticks around as a recurring character because he's ingrained in the 118 again, Eddie's doing his therapy thing and then maybe mid s8 him and Buck can start coming to some realisations with a potential for Buddie moments towards the end of s8. Honestly anything else would seem too rushed.
The final point I'd like to make is that I find it extremely odd that you call people who ship Bucktommy "supposed hardcore fans". Shipping anything other than Buddie doesn't make you any less of a fan. Actually, I'd argue it shows a bit more commitment to the characters as you're willing to be open to them growing as humans and expanding on the personalities that we love. If Buddie is the only reason you watch the show, I feel you should re-evaluate your motivation. This show has so many great ships, such as Bathena, Henren and Madney, as well as Buddie and Bucktommy, and considering this is an ensemble show, we should show all of them as much love as the other. These characters are so intertwined with one another and that's what makes this show so worth watching. Watching for 2 characters and 2 characters only is not getting the full enjoyment out of it.
I hope this answered your questions and gave you something to reflect on. As I say, I'm not the right person to ask about this as I too ship Bucktommy, currently have 2 Bucktommy fics in my drafts and watch them kiss at least 10 times a day. And for future reference, I will be unfollowing/blocking people who throw tantrums about not getting Buddie so far, or who believe you can only ship Buddie and feel superior for doing so. Have a good rest of your day.
131 notes · View notes
kamisatomay018 · 4 months
Text
A string that can no longer connect..
Tumblr media
Xiao x fem!reader
Warnings: angst, hurt with no comfort, character death
A lot of you wanted me to start writing angst, so here it is! I hate hurting Xiao even more-
Perhaps you should have heeded to their warnings. Perhaps, had you just stayed in Liyue harbour, your unending misery could have been avoided. Perhaps, had you not been so foolishly in love with someone so out of your reach, your heart wouldn’t be bleeding right now. Perhaps….had fate not been so cruel to you, your tears would have dried up by now.
You felt like a body without a soul, like a mind without a purpose, your once beating heart had become a hollow pit through which harsh echoes of that one voice kept ringing unstoppably. It felt as if your heavy heart would soon make you sink to the ground, let the earth swallow you whole until not even one fragment remained. In the endless sea of colours, you were the black paint now, unhappy and dull, standing out the most although all you wished to do was hide and wallow in your misery.
You never knew it was possible to feel pain of this magnitude. Never once did you think that the heavens above would snatch your happiness away like this. You felt deceived, betrayed and beyond hurt. The Red String Of Fate, just thinking about it made you scoff. What a joke, there was no such thing as love in your life. Every step you took farther away from Wangshu Inn intensified the burning sensation in your ring finger, where the red string appeared. It kept on stretching away and away, the burning feeling like the string screaming at you to stop walking away, to just run back and embrace the one to whom you were tied. But you knew you could not do that.
You did not have the strength nor the courage to go back to the man who had caused your pain. You couldn’t face him again after you gifted him his heart, only for him to return it to you completely shattered and bleeding. Archons, it hurts so much, please make it stop..
You didn’t know where your feet were leading you, but after what felt like hours you fell to the ground, screaming in agony as that one voice refused to leave your mind, his harsh words echoing again and again that made your head spin. Your tears stained the ground, your soul slowly ripping itself apart piece by piece as you remembered what had transpired just moments ago.
Dangerous golden eyes pierced into yours, looking at you with a gaze so cold that you felt your heart freezing right there. “Soulmates? Tsk, we adepti have no need nor the time for such ridiculous things. Leave mortal, and never come back.” You felt tears well up in your eyes, not being able to believe this. You thought that he would feel happy, at least accept you but no, he simply rejected you, as if you were a nuisance for him. “But xiao..look, we are bound together by fate..how can i just be without you?”
He let out a cruel scoff, folding his arms and looking away. “That is a matter that does not concern me, but only you. I don’t want this fated bond, I reject it.” And that’s it, the tears dropped down one after the other, the ache in your heart haunting your being. “Then..why did you protect me so many times..why did you appear before me..”
“I am an adeptus, and it is my sworn duty to protect Liyue and its people. I am bound by a contract upon Rex Lapis’ orders. Do not think that this fact, by any means, makes you special. Mortals do not belong with adepti, nor do adepti need any companionship. Do not disturb me any further, Leave.”
Each word he spoke caused your soul to crack little by little, your heart completely broken while every fibre of your being ached. It was cruel, so cruel for him to do this to you. Yet you mustered the courage to look him in the eye, letting him break you once more. “So…you do not feel anything for me?”
“No, I don’t. Return to Liyue harbour and never come back here.” And just like that, he disappeared from your sight, leaving you alone and broken.
How easy it was for him, a mighty adeptus to scoff at a mere mortal like you, abandoning you as if it was nothing new for him. But who would tell him that he was your whole world? He was your hope, your soulmate, your love. How were you supposed to just be okay like this? How were you supposed to recover when you had lost yourself bit by bit with every step you took away from him until there was nothing left for you to lose? What a fool you were, thinking that the Conquerer of Demons would return your feelings.
Unbeknownst to you, Xiao had watched you leave from the rooftop of Wangshu inn, and every fibre of his being begged him to make you stop, to beg for your forgiveness and let you stay by his side. Yet he fought all those urges, simply watching your figure grow smaller and smaller, until you completely disappeared from his sight. Only he knew how much pain he was in right now, how the words he had so cruelly spat to you were now stabbing at his conscience, ready to kill him. But no matter how much he wanted, no needed you by his side, he could not be selfish.
You were the epitome of pureness and warmth in his eyes, while he was the ancient being with blood of countless gods and monsters on his hands, his soul tainted by karma. If you stayed with him, you would get tainted too, you would be in unimaginable pain too. Your mortal body wasn’t made to handle this amount of torture. Besides, he was so close to losing himself to his karma, his fear was that he would turn into the monsters he had sworn to purge. He could end up hurting, or even killing you in his madness. He had watched his beloved brothers and sisters go mad because of the karmic debt they carried, even turning against each other. Then how, pray tell, was he supposed to make you stay when he was aware of the danger he posed to your very existence?
That is why he let you go, speaking those harsh untruths so that hopefully you’d forget him one day and live a better life. He did not deserve love and kindness, he was a beast, a cruel and heartless monster whose only duty was to purge all evil until one day, his karmic debt would inevitably take his life. How was he supposed to condemn you to a fate so cruel? Taking a deep breath, he wiped off the lone tear that fell from his eye, reminding himself that all he had done was for your sake, to protect you.
But he would soon realise that he had done quite the opposite..
Only a day had passed by when he was passing through Dihua Marsh after slaughtering monsters. He then picked up the strong stench of blood- human blood. Frowning, he rushed towards the sight, only for his golden eyes to widen in horror, his mighty spear falling on the ground while he stood there, motionless. There lay your body, severely wounded and bleeding uncontrollably, painting the pure glaze lilies around you, instantly causing them to wither away. How..how was this possible..
He approached your unconscious form, cupping your cheek softly, which to his pure agony had gone ice cold. You were no longer breathing, and he knew that he had lost you forever. Tears welled up in his eyes as he kneeled on the ground, picking up your lifeless form close to his chest. A shriek of pure agony and devastation left him, his entire being churning in excruciating pain. It was all his fault, he was the reason why you were now dead. Not only had he broken your heart, but he had also managed to steal your chance of living a perfect life.
He begged, ached for you to come back, but it was of no use. He had lost you for good, only being left with enormous amounts of guilt and grief that would torture his soul eternally. He looked down at your limp hand, noticing the red string that bound you to one another. Only, it began fading away, and xiao cried in pain as it disappeared all together, signalling that he had lost his soulmate. Oh how cruel fate was to him, stealing away every single person that gave him happiness. First his family, and now his love.
His soul that once wished to be free of all binds, now begged fate to grant it one more chance to be bound to yours by that very red string, but what followed its plea was a deathly, deafening silence..for a string that gets snapped once, can no longer connect again.
80 notes · View notes
dootznbootz · 5 months
Text
To ME, The Iliad and The Odyssey are about the different reactions to trauma and "hate".
The Iliad is about how a man gets destroyed by hatred. Achilles is "destroyed" metaphorically because his hatred and grief caused him to lose his "humanity". Hector is killed by a man filled with so much hatred (Achilles). Both men are "gone".
The Odyssey, being what happens directly after, is about how a man can come BACK from such hatred. Menelaus and Nestor, while still in pain from the war (the time, friends, and family they lost), are still able to move forward and live normal lives. We watch this happen in real time through Odysseus.
Odysseus' name means to hate and be hated, something he's been probably doing since he left Ithaca to a degree. You could even see the slaughter of the suitors as being the "final fight" he has to go through before the "healing". He gains back his humanity, kingdom, and identity by loving and being loved. (Niko's post about Odysseus and his identity. It delves further into all that well!)
Some people are lost to war and some people CAN come back from it. While the ancients (of every culture as well!) didn't have the semi-universal term PTSD yet, they knew damn well people who have experienced trauma tend to be "different" afterward and had their own stories and even some "remedies"
Other ancient works, such as those by Hippocrates, describe soldiers who experienced frightening battle dreams. (Source, whole article gives more info on ancient PTSD too!)
Celsus, a Roman doctor described a condition named Insania sine fibre.
In Ancient Mesopotamia, “They described hearing and seeing ghosts talking to them, who would be the ghosts of people they’d killed in battle – and that’s exactly the experience of modern-day soldiers who’ve been involved in close hand-to-hand combat.” (Source)
This is my own interpretation, but in a way, I think the Epic Cycle is...showcasing that. The Iliad shows how trauma can "end" a person. And The Odyssey is kind of a way to give some hope to folks in a "Hey, you CAN get better. You CAN have your life back."
61 notes · View notes