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#i hate being in a country with no space because college won’t offer me a place to live either wth i need to be out soooo fast
mmmmuffins · 9 months
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not allowed to wear a jumpsuit with a cowl neckline out bc it’s ‘so indecent’ and ‘reflects badly on your parents’ why is what I am wearing reflecting badly on you and why are people my parents age looking at me anyway.
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buckyownsmylife · 3 years
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Secret Door: the one where there's a dinner date and some innuendo
President James Buchanan Barnes is the first president to occupy the White House without a first lady ever since… well, President James Buchanan Barnes. But he’s not too worried about it, since he got his best friend from college acting as his VP, supporting him just like only someone who knew everything about him could do. What happens when feelings from the past start to resurface?
Or the one where you and Bucky used to date but now you got a country to run.
for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.
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Y/N’s P.O.V.
“Thank you so much for having dinner with me tonight, doll.” I rested my fork on the plate to reach for his hand, squeezing it tightly as I finished chewing.
“You know you can always count on me, Buck.” The way he looked up at me from under his eyelashes made me feel conflicted - because that’s what he looked like too. Stuck between pain and gratitude, I didn’t want to tap into what could be causing both of those emotions because I knew I’d be able to identify it, and he deserved at least a little bit of privacy.
If he wanted to let me know, he’d tell me.
“Sometimes I feel like you’re the only one I can truly count on.” The way he said it, almost defeated, pulled at my heartstrings until I couldn’t take it anymore. Smiling softly, I rubbed my thumbs on the inside of the wrist I held.
“Is that such a bad thing?” Immediately, his head was shaking.
“Not at all. It’s good to know I can count on you. It makes me happy.” I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just kept smiling and rubbing his wrist, waiting for more because I knew that wasn’t the end of it.
“Tell me what is really bothering you,” I pressed, anxious to know so I could make him feel better. Even after all this time, all I wanted was to make him feel better, make him smile like the twenty-something boy I used to know him as.
Bucky sighed, fingers running through his hair as he avoided my eyes, but kept his hand in mine. He was finding the courage to speak, I knew that. Eventually, he stopped looking to the side and met my gaze again.
“What if I’m not enough?” It was a question I’d heard multiple times, and that I knew prompted different answers every time. Tonight, I had an inkling as to what he was referring to, but I needed to be sure of it so I could be of any help. “I knew it was going to be hard, now that I’m here I fear I’m going to fail at every turn.”
His beautiful blue eyes sparkled as he confessed what was on his mind, “I don’t want to be a failure.”
“James, pay attention to what I’m going to say.” I didn’t leave any time for him to stew in the difficult words he admitted, wanting to cut the seed of doubt right as it began to flourish. “James, you are not your job.”
He let out a breath that clearly indicated just how much he was keeping inside until that moment, relief finally within his reach at my reminder, so I continued, “The next three years are going to be hard, but if there’s anyone who can do this, that person is you.”
I allowed those words to settle over him like a thick warm blanket of comfort. I liked to think of myself as that blanket for him, and nothing ever made me happier than when I was able to make him feel better.
But it was late, and dinner was over already. So, with one last smile, I squeezed his arm and started to push my chair back so I could get up. James, however, didn’t seem to catch on to my intention (or agree with it) because he took advantage of the connection between out limbs to keep me close.
“Hey, remember how we always wanted to go to Italy?” My eyebrows were furrowed in confusion at his random question, but I smiled at the memory. It was our last year in college, so many plans were made then - plans that disappeared as graduation day approached and I was holding another man’s hand by the end of it.
“Yes, I do.” I’m sure my smile denounced my guilt, even though I knew I’d done nothing wrong. Bucky had been the one to break up with me. I was free to date whomever I wanted, and that’s what I did - even if no one had ever gotten anywhere near the space the man in front of me occupied in my heart.
“We should do that again, once this is all over.” I didn’t remind him that we’d probably be visiting Italy together very soon, in one of our formal encounters with the president of the foreign country. I didn’t remind him because I understood what he meant.
There was something fundamentally different between a work trip as heads of state and a road trip with your best friend.
“Sure.” I smiled, squeezing his hand in the hopes that he’d let me go now. “Let’s do that.” It’s not that I didn’t appreciate his company - he was my favorite person in the entire world - but being alone with him in the dead of night roused some dangerous feelings within me, feelings that I was only really able to keep at bay when the sun high in the sky.
“I should really go now,” I insisted, giggling softly at how he was still trying to keep me close while I slowly made my way to the door. Behind me, he huffed, prompting me to turn around and meet his eyes once more.
“Fine,” he relented, but when he crossed his arms over his chest, I already knew there was a catch. “Will you come and work out with me tomorrow morning?” I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me at his invitation.
Bucky’s P.O.V.
I’d been trying to get her to train with me for ages now. Back in college we used to go on runs together, and well… on the evenings, we used to have other ways to burn off some calories.
But she wasn’t big on lifting weights, I knew that. Still, I kept insisting, hoping one day I’d have the pleasure of waking up and feel eager to leave the bed because I knew she’d be waiting for me at the gym.
“You know how much I hate exercising.” She shook her head, giggling, and the wine had gotten to my head, I knew. But it only messed with what was already there - intensifying it, deepening it.
“I remember some physical exercises you liked to do with me.” My voice had dropped a few tones. It had been ages since I used it on her and I was excited to see that it still affected her greatly.
I knew it in my soul. I knew - she still belonged to me. And I think she knew it too, but we were both too scared to take that next step, considering everything that had changed since we were last together.
We weren’t college students anymore. We were in charge of a nation. But I was tired of being scared and most of all - I was tired of being without her.
My eyes were heavy-lidded as I took in the way she was breathing through her mouth. I anticipated her frustration coming through at any second, and sure enough, “You can’t just say stuff like that!”, she complained. But I only chuckled, pressing her against the wall of the dining room, nuzzling her cheek so I could breathe her in.
“Anything to get you to stay a little longer.” I loved the way her skin became covered in goosebumps when my thigh settled between her legs, pressing against her cunt. “You’re the only thing that makes me truly happy these days,” I sighed.
I think it justified the way I craved her so deeply. She was the one sense of normalcy I had in my life, and even when she tried to hold herself back from me, it all took me right back to our college days and how long it took her to cave and go out on a date with me in the first place.
“Do you know how lonely it gets? Waking up every morning without someone to share this burden with?” I confided, rubbing circles on her hips while I tried to get her to look me in the eye again. “I can understand why most presidents had a first lady by their side. I envy them.”
Brushing her hair away from her face, I took in the sight of her with her lips parted, eyelids heavy with desire. How long had it been since I’d seen her like this? Just staring at her made me hot.
“Don’t look at me like that!” She admonished, having realized how I was undressing her with my eyes. A chuckle was all I could offer as a response, as she adjusted herself on my leg to offer, “You know you can share it with me. I’m your vice-president, that’s what I’m here for.”
But I shook my head almost immediately. “It’s not the same,” I whispered, caressing her cheek, eyes never leaving hers for even a second. “You know it’s not the same. If I could have you with me all the time…”
I couldn’t even deal with the possibility, so I just shoved it aside to favor my reality, leaning down to connect our lips for the first time in decades.
“James…” She sighed when we parted, while I rubbed my chapped lips against the soft skin of her shoulder. I knew this was dangerous territory. I knew it.
“Shh…” Tucking my hands beneath her skirt, I rubbed the outside of her thighs, relishing in the feeling of her muscles melting at my pawing. I wanted to distract her from the rational so she could focus on the instinctive calling there was between us, from the day we met.
She’d enchanted me right then, with a single smile, and whatever spell she put on me was nowhere near fading. I, on the other hand, was tired of fighting it.
“Having a hard time controlling your hands, huh?” She teased when I finally reached her ass, massaging it excitedly, using my grip to rub her against my thigh.
“You know they have a mind of their own when it comes to you,” I smirked, kissing her shoulder as I left it to connect our lips again. “One more time, darling,” I begged just as soon as we were forced to part to catch our breaths. “We were so good at it, remember?”
The laugh she let escape brought hope to my heart because it sounded far breathier than her usual chuckles of amusement.
“We have to keep practicing,” I insisted, kissing along her jaw as I kept proposing, “so we won’t forget how to bring each other pleasure… should we ever need it again.”
My muscles were straining in the effort to hold back from her, but I could see my gentle advances were paying out. She was the one rocking her hips along my thigh to get some friction, the hand clasping my shoulder seeming to want to both push me away and pull me closer.
“One more time,” I repeated, right over her ear, running my hands up her body, hoping to see her cave. “Just let me fuck you one more time…”
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headheartbellarke · 4 years
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LIGHT A FIRE IN MY EYES | Owen Patrick Joyner
PAIRING(S): Charlie Gillespie’s sister!Reader x Owen Patrick Joyner
WARNING(S): fluff, angst
WORDS: 3.4k
SUMMARY: where Y/N is charlie gillespie’s sister, and while living with him and owen, unexpected feelings rise up. (im so bad at these)
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READER’S POV
    A rhythmic knock on my bedroom door breaks me out of my trance. I push my glasses further up my nose and close my physics textbook, dropping my pencil between the pages to bookmark it. Pushing myself off the chair, I stretch my arms above my head – I’ve been sitting at my desk for about five hours now, trying to revise everything for my exam tomorrow. I walk over to my door, and unlock it, and I’m greeted by my brother, Charlie. He takes in my appearance and frowns.
     “I thought you were still sleeping. When did you get up?”
     “Uhh…” I trail off, looking behind me at the clock mounted on the wall opposite to me. 10:30 AM.  “About 5, yeah.”
    I turn back and notice my brother widening his eyes. “Are you okay, little one?”
    I’m not a morning person, under no circumstances ever. Growing up, I’ve always been the last person to wake up – Charlie being the first. So, I guess it’s awfully unusual for him to hear this.
     “This is college, honey. You wouldn’t know.” I shrug at him and he grins. I’ve always hated the fact that he got a free pass from college, since he’s an actor.
    That is also the reason why he’s here. We grew up in Canada – Charlie, me, my two other older brothers and my twin sister Meghan. Growing up, Charlie, Meghan and I were inseparable – since we’re closer in age – Charlie’s only two years older than Meghan and me. But I had to leave home for college – I got into Caltech, and that was not an opportunity I was about to give up, even though Charlie protested so many times that I’m apparently the baby of the house and I shouldn’t go to another country alone.
    Now, he’s living with me – he is shooting for his show, Julie and The Phantoms (proud sister, here), and they have a couple of scenes and some recording to do in LA, so he’s staying in my apartment for a week, along with his friend, co-star and roommate back in Vancouver, Owen. Previously, they lived with me for more than a month when they had to go through musical bootcamp or something for the sake of the show. (So proud.)
    That was also when I’d developed a massive crush on Owen.
    Charlie was living with me for a good two weeks when, one day, he took me out to meet the rest of the cast. (Who were all lovely, by the way.) On the drive there, he told me that Owen had been living in a hotel since he’s originally from Oklahoma, and that Charlie’s thinking of asking him to come live with us, if I was okay with that. Of course, I had said yes. I had ample space in my duplex apartment and living alone is boring. So, Charlie introduced me to Owen and we immediately hit it off. Of course, I thought that he was incredibly attractive when we met. But I meet a lot of attractive people at university.
    Then, we started living together, and I realized how amazing Owen actually is. He’s an absolute dork – but he’s also funny, very kind, thoughtful, compassionate, altruistic and so, so nice. Both of us have a lot in common, and there’s always been this unsaid, unacknowledged chemistry between us that a lot of the other cast members had picked up on. (Not my brother, though. He would have killed Owen.) We had so much fun when we were together – he turned everything into an adventure. The best part was that I got to be myself, completely, whenever I was around him. I got to talk about whatever I wanted with him – he never, ever judged me.
    Before they went to Vancouver when production for the show began, we had a last night out with the rest of the cast and a bunch of family members – except the kids. We went to this bar near my college. I was so, so drunk and then I suddenly started feeling queasy and Owen offered to take me home since Charlie was in the same position. There was so much traffic and Owen and I kept singing whatever song was on the radio to pass the time – LA traffic – when we were both leaning across our seats and we started kissing. I remember feeling like I would burst from the happiness and the softness, the affection, the admiration that he had in his eyes when he looked at me.
    Of course, I fell asleep pretty soon after the traffic dissipated and woke up next morning to find him packing for his trip. That was when I’d realized that no matter how much I liked him, we could never be together. First of all, long distance relationships almost never work out, and secondly, he’s my brother’s best friend. That was why I chose to just give him a quick hug goodbye and head to college – without even bothering to drop them off at the airport, or even talking to him.
    He texted and called a couple of times after that, too. But I never responded, never even opened any of his texts – because I knew that once I do that, I would definitely call him. That went on for a week, and the only time we spoke was when he’d texted me from Savannah’s phone: why are you ignoring me? I texted back all the reasons why we couldn’t ever be together, and I didn’t hear from him for another week, until Charlie called me the day before yesterday, telling me that they have a couple of scenes to do in LA, along with some recording stuff, and they’ll stay with me for a few days. I had to approve, or else Charlie might figure out everything.
    They arrived yesterday, and I think that I’ve done a pretty good job of ignoring him so far.
    Charlie’s voice breaks me out of my train of thoughts. “You have exams or what?”
    I nod. “Applied physics, tomorrow. Are you going out?” I ask, pointing at his dark blue jeans.
     “Madi and I are writing this song together. You’ll love it.”
    I smile at him. “If I’m not the first one to hear it –”
    He hums, a chuckle escaping him. I lean against the doorframe, as he continues, “Owen just woke up. He doesn’t start his scenes until tomorrow, so I told him to take care of you today, while I’m away.”
    I ignore the way my heart skips a beat at the mere mention of his name and flatten my lips. “I’m 19, Charlie, I can –”
     “Take care of yourself, blah blah blah. I don’t care.”
    I roll my eyes, and playfully shove him forward. He stumbles a few steps backwards and furrows his brows at me. “Ouch!”
     “Are you taking my car?”
    He nods. “Where –”
     “In the magnetic key holder on the fridge.”
     “Okay, sis.” He smiles at me, leaning forward to ruffle my hair – which makes it even messier than it already was. “Go away!” I grumble, trying to pat his hand away. “Never!” He calls out, turning toward the kitchen to grab the keys.
    I shake my head and laugh. “Love you!”
    He shouts back, without looking behind at me. “Love you most!”
****
    The delicious smell of pancakes reminds me of the fact that I haven’t eaten since last night. I drag my feet to the kitchen, mentally preparing myself for the person I’m about to encounter in there.
     “Uh, hi…” I hesitantly call out, entering the kitchen – and notice a very shirtless Owen, with his very shirtless back turned towards me. He turns around at the sound of my voice, and a few strands of golden blonde hair fall across his eyes. I long to reach my hand across and push those away.
    Instead, he himself does that as his eyes flit over me, and a look of pain flashes through his eyes. I hate that I’m the cause of that.
     “I was wondering how you would ignore me when we’re living in the same apartment.”
     “I deserve that.” I walk over to the stove to stand beside him.
    He ignores me and goes back to flipping golden brown pancakes which smell amazing, but all I can focus on is the curve of his back, the hollow space between his collarbones, and the way his hands grip on the pan a little too hard. I feel a warmth course through my body and find myself missing the way he used to wrap his arms around me from behind in the mornings when Charlie was still asleep.
     “Owen,” I whisper, and he inhales sharply at that. “Please. I don’t want things to be like this – I don’t want us to be like this.”
    He uses his spatula to lift the pancake and puts it atop other pancakes on a plate beside the stove and turns it off. He turns around to face me, biting his lip and I think I just had an aneurysm because of the intensity of his gaze.
    He sighs, leaning against the counter. “Y/N. You made it pretty clear that there would never be an ‘us.’”
     “I know. But we can still be friends, right? Like we were before… everything.”
     “See, that’s the thing. I can’t. Y/N, do you have any idea what you’ve put me through for the past two weeks?” He snaps.
     “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?” I reply, hotly. “Owen, it broke me inside to ask you to stay away. Do you have any idea how much I care about you?”
     “No! I don’t, because you don’t talk to me, Y/N.”
     “I told you, there is no point in doing long distance –”
     “That’s bullshit, Y/N, and you know it, too. I think you’re just too scared to be with me because you think that I’d break your heart, leave you alone or hurt you. But that’s the thing, Y/N – I won’t do any of that to you, because that’s exactly what you’re doing to me.” He crosses his arms across his chest.
    I breathe out shakily, running a hand through my curls. “That’s not true –”
    Owen scoffs. “Please, Y/N. I know you.”
    I lower my eyes from his because I can’t handle the way he’s looking at me.
     “Y/N, do you know how fucking hard the past week’s been for me? I can’t even talk to anyone about it, because the only person I wanna talk to is your brother and we all know what will happen if I do that. He’s my best friend, and I’ve been lying to him for weeks, pretending that I like this hairdresser, when in reality, I’m head over heels for his sister. I can’t tell him that I can’t stop thinking about her, and that she’s the only person that can calm me down when I get anxious on set. I can’t tell him that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and it’s killing me inside to not talk to her!”
    He finishes, breathing out heavily. I look at his eyes and notice that they’re gleaming.
     “Wait, what hairdresser?”
    He scoffs, annoyed. “Seriously, Y/N?”
    I shrug and breathe deeply, trying to stop myself from taking his hands in my own. “You know, there are so many guys at school that ask me out, but I can’t go out with any of them, because guess what, they’re not you. I like you so much, Owen, so, so much, but I can’t do anything about it – because you’re right. I’m scared. I’m terrified that you’ll leave me, because I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a really long time. I’m so scared that one day you’ll wake up and realize that I’m not who you want anymore. I’m scared that maybe you’ll hurt me or meet someone else in Vancouver. I’m scared about so many things because that’s exactly how much I care about you, Owen!”
    I take a step further and we are standing mere inches apart. I can feel him breathe out raggedly and see the curve of his nose and his darkened eyes flickering to my lips.
     “I would never, ever do that to you, Y/N. You mean a lot to me. Please, please believe me.” He whispers out, and I tell myself to stop, to turn back, to go into my room but instead I just stand there and watch him exhale out, and I know he’s feeling anxious. I lift a hand to his face and cup his cheek in the palm of my hand and he leans his face onto my hand, resting his right hand over mine. The gesture calms the both of us down, and I know, in that moment, that I believe him. That he, us – is a risk worth taking.
     “Your hands are so cold.” He whispers. I nod. “Yours are warm.”
    Both of us stand there, in the kitchen, trying to make sense of what just happened – trying to hold on to this moment. A silence engulfs the both of us, as I sort through my thoughts.
     “Owen,” I whisper. He flicks his eyes to mine. “Promise me you won’t do any of that.”
    He raises his left hand, jutting out his little finger. I raise my other hand too, and he wraps his little finger around mine and whispers back, “Pinkie promise.”
     “Okay.” I whisper, neither of us daring to uncurl our fingers or look anywhere else.
     “Promise me that you wouldn’t leave me for some future tech billionaire.”
    I scrunch my face up at that. “What? No!”
     “Promise me you’d call –”
     “Every single day, Owen. You too.”
    Both of us nod together, and he lifts his other hand to tuck a curl that had previously escaped from my actually-messy-and-not-cute bun. “You’re so beautiful.”
    I smile, and a tear escapes my eyes – Owen rubbing it away with his thumb. I lean forward, standing on my tiptoes and rest my hands against his bare chest for support as I press my lips to his. He smiles against the kiss, and I feel as if a zoo has gone wild in my stomach. I feel warmth and happiness course through my veins as Owen deepens the kiss, the intense longing in the both of us for each other clawing its way out to the surface. It’s almost as if I’m drinking water for the first time in a week. He tastes like banana pancakes, chocolate syrup and everything good in the world. I press myself against him, wrapping my arms around neck while he does the same around my torso. It frightens me a little how well our bodies fit against each other – but it makes me feel strong knowing that I have an amazing person who genuinely cares about me.
****
CHARLIE’S POV
    Charlie unlocked the door to his sister’s apartment, mentally noting to remind her of the fact that her car desperately needs a wash. He enters the foyer, and drops the keys in a bowl, kicking off his shoes.
    Suddenly, he pauses, noticing how incredibly quiet the apartment is – which is unlike Y/N. She always has music blasting or the TV running – she hates the quiet. He quickly walks into the living room and almost screams in surprise.
    His little sister and his best friend are curled up on the sofa, their backs towards him. Y/N is lying on Owen’s chest and she has an arm wrapped around his torso while Owen’s arms are interlocked at the front, holding her against his body. Their tangled legs peek from underneath the quilt that Charlie and Y/N’s mother knit for her youngest daughter last Christmas. She laughs at something that Owen whispers into her ear, and he presses a kiss to her forehead, and they look at each other with so much adoration that Charlie has to look away.
    He sighs, mentally cursing himself for being so, so stupid. How could he have ignored the signs? Charlie remembers Y/N and Owen meeting, both in a daze, both smiling a little too much and Y/N walking with a skip in her steps. He remembers them talking for hours on end, binging Brooklyn 99 on weekends, and always hanging out with each other whenever they went to the same parties. He remembers that morning three weeks ago when he’d woken up late, and gone to the kitchen only to find the duo springing apart from each other, both erupting in a flurry of coughs and laughs, as if he’d just walked on them robbing a bank – Owen had explained that he had apparently broken a glass. He remembers the way Owen would look at her, as if she had just done something miraculous. He remembers the way Y/N would look at his best friend, as if he was made of everything good in the world.
    Most of all, he remembers how Owen sulked whenever he was alone back in Vancouver. He remembers how Owen constantly declined to go out with that cute hairdresser. He remembers how Owen sometimes seemed out of it. He remembers how Owen would sprint whenever Charlie called his sister. He remembers how Owen would keep checking his phone every few minutes in between takes.
    Charlie also remembers his sister asking about how Owen is when they talked on the phone, and how her voice seemed like she was asking something that was forbidden, something that was evil. He remembers how she would always hang up the phone whenever she heard Owen’s voice. He remembers her always declining his invites to go to Vancouver.
    How could he have been so dumb? The signs were right there. He lived with Owen, for god’s sake! Charlie feels an array of emotions. He’s always hated Y/N’s choice in men, despised anyone putting their hands on his baby sister’s body.
    But, to see them like this – to see Y/N look so safe, so comfortable in Owen’s arms, he can’t help but feel relief flood into his system. Because he knows his best friend, and he knows what kind of person he is. And now, he thinks just how much sense they make together. Sure, Owen is kind of stupid, reckless, impulsive, and clumsy – but so is Y/N – well, she’s not stupid, he thinks. She’s the smartest person in their family. But she has a fire within her – and his best friend matches that fire. Charlie thinks of the fact that they complement each other so nicely, both are caring, passionate, and kind-hearted. Of course, they would fall for each other. It just makes so much sense – they make so much sense.
    Still, Charlie feels hurt that neither of them bothered to tell him about it. (even though he won’t admit it, it’s understandable, really – considering the way he’s bugged his sister about her previous relationships.)
    He clears his throat and the duo on the couch jump apart, both flushed and with their eyes widened. Owen stands up, moving away from couch, while Y/N looks at her brother as if he’s a ghost.
    A silence falls over the apartment. Y/N finally says, “How’d you – how’d you get in?”
    He shrugs. “I had a spare key.”
    Owen looks between his girlfriend and his best friend, with widened eyes. “Charlie, I’m so sorry –”
    Suddenly, Charlie laughs, swatting at the air. “Pfft. You think I’m gonna be the weird brother who kills his best friend for dating his sister? Come on, this isn’t a TV show. I’m actually really happy for you guys – I ignored all the signs these past weeks, but I see them now. Of course, it’s really weird for me, but I love the both of you so much. Owen, relax, I’m not gonna kill you. Dude. Just don’t kiss or anything in front of me, cause that’s gross. Ew. You know what, don’t do that at all. And I’ll kill you, Owen, if you ever hurt her, I swear. I’ll put poison in your waffles. I just don’t understand why –”
    Charlie is cut off by his sister tackling him in a hug. He wraps his arms around her body, as she whispers, “I love you, big brother.”
    He murmurs, “Love you most, little one.” He catches Owen’s eye who looks at him with gratefulness and a little smile.
 **** 
READ ON AO3 WITH OC!
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ot3tropetober · 4 years
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Eliot and Hardison are travel journalists for rival publications who keep showing up in the same places 
Fic for this (~3500 words) is below the read more! Some notes: 
[backstory on why Hardison is writing these comes from this post]
[Eliot, Parker, and Hardison are all commenting on this document, think of it like the chat in Google drive? In-document comments from Eliot are italicized, from Hardison are in bold, and from Parker are plain text] 
By the time Will Coffey stepped off the plane in Dallas, all he wanted was a nice long shower and to sleep in his own bed for once. Being a travel journalist for a leading travel magazine had its perks– a month-long trip across Mexico, for example, all expenses paid or at least reimbursed – but after a month on the road he was dead tired and ready to be home. 
Is this supposed to be me? Why am I living in Dallas? 
Yes, and also, you don’t actually live in Dallas, Eliot, you live here, in Portland, with us. 
I know that, I just– you know what, never mind. 
Well, Will Coffey likes Dallas. 
I am Will Coffey!! 
That’s the spirit. 
The other thing about being on the road for a living was that sometimes it felt kinda lonely, and as relieved as he was to be home, the first couple of minutes after he walked in, turned on the lights, and looked around at an empty place, that was always a little bittersweet. But the only other person he’d really seen in any kind of serious capacity the whole time he’d had this gig was a fellow traveler who spent just as much time on the road as he did, so it just kinda was what it was. He set his keys and his bag down and headed to the kitchen for a beer, but he hadn’t even opened his fridge when his phone buzzed a couple times. It was a text from Sarah, his editor. He’d known her forever– they shared a couple classes in college. Now they shared the stress of managing a print publication in an increasingly digital world. 
“Did you see this?” she had written. There was a link in the next message. “How does this guy get this stuff up so fast?“ 
Will already knew what he was gonna find before he clicked the link, and sure enough, it directed him to a popular travel blog called The Travel Geek, which was a ridiculous name for a travel blog but people absolutely went wild for it. Will liked it too, not that he would ever really admit it, but that probably had more to do with the guy who ran it than anything else. They had…not a thing, exactly? It was hard to explain whatever was going on with Jeremy Edwards, who by rights Will should probably hate for stealing his stories and his audience. But the problem with that was mainly that the guy was so goddamn likeable. 
I’m guessing that’s you. 
You would be correct. 
You think I think you’re likeable? 
No, I know it. 
he is pretty likeable
Yeah, yeah. 
Will had met Jeremy a couple of years ago, right when he was just starting out with his blog. Jeremy said he’d been reading Will’s stuff for a while and would love some advice from a pro. It wasn’t like Will didn’t know it was a little bit of flattery, and it wasn’t like he didn’t know it was a little bit of flirting, either. It also wasn’t like Jeremy was bad to look at. So Will said sure, he’d be glad to, and they were in Belgium, so they shared some beers, ate fries from a baraque at one in the morning on a park bench, shoulders pressed together, while Will tipsily rhapsodized about gaufre de Liège while Jeremy laughed and laughed. 
I have never *rhapsodized* about anything in my damn life. 
Have you heard you talk about food? This is not a criticism. I could listen to that all day. 
Nothing really happened, in the end, just a good conversation and the promise to keep in touch. That turned out to be easier than it should have been, because they started covering the same damn things, all the time. One big world, and somehow they were always sharing part of it: Will was in India on a camel safari through the Thar Desert, and Jeremy was there, keeping Will up at night tappity tapping on his keyboard. Or Will was in Oatman, Arizona, for a piece on Route 66, and there was Jeremy, taking selfies with the wild burros roaming the streets of the town. Or Will was traveling around Japan, doing a feature on onsens, and Jeremy was there, too, acting like he wasn’t looking in Will’s direction while they sat, very naked, in the soothing hot water. It went on like that for a while until finally one night in Barcelona, in front of Sagrada Familia, he looked at Jeremy, tall and handsome in this absurd brightly patterned scarf, and said, “This is ridiculous, man,” and pulled him in for a long, lingering kiss. 
Do you honestly think it would have taken me that long? 
I don’t know, baby, it took your cowboy ass five years in real time, so Will’s doing a lot better than you. 
OoooooooOooo 
We had a lot goin on!!! And what is that supposed to be, parker? are you some kind of ghost? 
it made more sense in person 
I’ll take your word for it. 
It wasn’t a relationship, exactly. It was just something they did, sometimes, if they happened to run into each other on the road. It wasn’t like he was getting invited home for the holidays, or anything, and he was fine with that, really. The long and short of it was, they’d basically been circling each other for years now, professionally, personally, whatever, but the professional stuff was definitely getting in the way of anything else. Because Will would sit down and write out his long, detailed articles with carefully selected photographs that would look just right on the page, while Jeremy had already turned out quick blog entry after quick blog entry, listing off places people should visit with witty little one sentence summaries, and people just ate it right up with a spoon while Adventure., Will’s magazine, slowly saw its sales circling the drain. It stung a little. Maybe more than a little. It wasn’t like he could say the guy wasn’t working hard, but damn. Hell, the best selling issue they’d had in a couple years was the one where Sarah had masterminded a collaboration between Will and Jeremy. Blogging was definitely here to stay. 
That night in Belgium was five years ago, and at the time it seemed impossible that the internet would ever really fully overtake print. But bloggers and phones had both gotten smarter over the last five years, and now everyone wanted their news in little chunks that they could read on a screen during their commute, so travel blogs were the hot new thing. Will grimaced as he looked at the blog entries Jeremy already had up from Mexico, where they’d run into each other at least half a dozen times. 
Five Reasons You Need to Visit Mexico City Right Now; What You’re Missing Because You’re Not in Monterrey; Everything You Wanted to Know About Agave But Were Too Afraid to Ask 
“You gotta be kidding me with this,” he muttered, staring at his phone and thinking about the half-written article he had saved on his laptop detailing the history of agave and how to experience Jalisco as more than just the birthplace of tequila. 
He pulled up Sarah’s number and dialed. 
“I don’t know how we can compete with this,” he sighed, when she picked up. 
“We’re going to have to adapt,” she said. “You know that. I can hear you making a face." 
"I don’t want to blog,” he complained. “I like print." 
"I know,” she sighed. “I’m working on it. Anyway, I’m glad you called, I was going to call you. I need you to go to Italy. Flight leaves tomorrow." 
"No way. Not interested,” he told her. “I just got back to my apartment, Sarah, I’ve been in Mexico for a month. I’m beat." 
"It’s not my fault that you spend half your time on extracurricular activities,” she teased. 
“You can just say sex,” he said. “I won’t be offended. And it’s not half my time. Like, maybe twenty-five percent. Anyway, I get the job done." 
"Yeah, and you’re very good at it, which is why I need you to go to Italy,” she said. 
“I’m not saying yes,” he told her, “and I’m not interested. But what’s in Italy that’s so important for me to get to?" 
"You’ll love this one,” Sarah promised. “It’s a food festival." 
Okay, maybe he was a little interested. "Oh?”
“Yeah,” she said. His phone buzzed in his ear. “I just emailed you the details. Including your flight info." 
"Dammit, Sarah–" 
"Oops, emergency, the printer’s on fire, gotta go!” she chirped, and the line disconnected. 
Yeah okay that’s Parker huh
Yep!
I do know y'all a little bit. 
“Dammit,” Will said again, and opened Sarah’s email to read up on his next destination. 
The food festival turned out to be a week long international celebration of local food from around the world. It only happened once every few years in October, when a world of people descended on the city of Torino, and more specifically the park by the River Po, where they set up tents and stands and served pretty much every kind of food you could imagine, and Will loved food and could imagine a lot, so that was saying something. It was pretty cool, seeing all these people from all over the planet showing off food that was important to them, sharing it with strangers. It really was the whole planet, too, the way the park was set up you could walk through a continent at a time, with all the countries on it represented at their own space. He figured he’d pay his respects to the hosts first and start with Italy, which was definitely the largest section. Halfway through the displays he found a stall with some folks from Campania selling fresh mozzarella di bufala the size of his fist for a Euro. It was speared on a stick like a candy apple so he could walk around with it, nibbling on the sweet cheese as he checked out the festival’s other offerings. Aged cheeses covered in mud and straw from a little town in France. A swanky tent with wood plank floors where the Filipino agriculture offices had a set up with big displays dedicated to traditional food and heirloom crops. Six different kinds of wild rice were layered in a glass display bottle in the booth dedicated to Indigenous agriculture in North America. There were folks from the Yucatan peninsula displaying cured meats and wild honey. There was a whole series of displays about preserving, protecting, and raising Maasai red sheep, from Kenya. The whole event was really impressive, actually, and even though his body had no idea what time zone he was in, he didn’t feel too tired– although that might have been more because he’d been downing every cup of coffee from anyone selling it. 
Okay, this actually sounds pretty cool. But now you gotta fake a whole food festival like this if we ever use these aliases. 
I don’t have to. That’s a real thing. Happens every couple of years. I was gonna ask if you wanted to go to the next one. Parker can probably find us a job after, anyway. 
I’d love– like that. 
Hardison. HARDISON.
Why isn’t this deleting the things I tell it to delete??? 
Ooh, forgot to tell y'all, this chat records your keystrokes? You know. Just in case you happen to type something sappy about how much you love me, and then delete it before you send it in the chat. Pretty much exactly what just happened. 
Dammit Hardison I’m gonna delete YOU
Baby, that doesn’t even make any sense. 
im w hardison on this 1. it’s ok if u love things eliot. especially food . or us 
Just let me finish reading Hardison’s make believe story so I can get back to dinner prep, ok? 
(he loves us) 
I know :) 
Will strolled around the park, snapping photos here and there, jotting down notes. He talked to folks from all over who came here to run their country’s booths, locals who had come out to enjoy the day, and people who had traveled long distances to be there. After a couple of hours and a really good lunch, he found an unoccupied bench near the river and posted up there for a while, notebook open next to him as he flipped through photos on his phone, the story he could tell about this event already starting to take shape in his head, and he had to admit, at least to himself, that Sarah had been right about this one. Nobody else on their staff knew food enough to get this right. But even though he had a good idea where to start, he couldn’t help feeling a little overwhelmed, too. You could spend two weeks here and still not talk to everybody, and it seemed important to try, somehow. 
“Well, well, well,” said a voice, and Will looked up from his phone and his notes to see the tall form of none other than Jeremy Edwards. 
“Dammit, Edwards,” Will swore. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Again?" 
Yeah it’s pretty much EXACTLY like that every time
Mmmhmm. You talk a big game, man, but no one here believes you. 
What he said ur like that stuff u put on the dessert u made 4 us last wk
Stuff on dessert– the Italian meringue? You really comparing me to Italian meringue?! 
Is that the stuff that was kinda hard and crunchy on the outside but actually really soft and sweet inside? 
Yep that’s the stuff
This is the worst conversation we’ve ever had. 
It’s weird how I can hear you smiling right now, though.
Shut up, Hardison, I’m reading.  
Got him! XD 
"Looks like it,” Jeremy said. He took a seat next to Will on the bench, despite the fact that Will had absolutely not fucking offered it to him. He grinned. Will looked back at his notes before he smiled back. “We’ve really gotta stop meeting like this." 
"Yeah, well, trust me, I’m working on it,” Will grumbled, and risked a look at Jeremy again. Still handsome, and still smiling, unfortunately. He thought about the blog a little and made himself frown. “So, you’re here to blog about this, huh? How many blog posts have you done already?" 
"None so far,” Jeremy said, scratching his chin, “but I am working on one right now. Tentative title, How to Tell The Guy You’re Casually Seeing And Have Been Chasing All Over the Globe That His Boss Sent Me Here To Work With Him." 
Well, there was a lot of information there, but Will decided maybe sticking with the professional stuff was better for now. "I’m sorry, you’re here for what?" 
Jeremy shrugged. "Sarah really liked that collaboration thing she got us to do last year, I guess, wanted to try it again for this. I said yes. It’s good for your magazine and it gives my blog some credibility with all you snooty print folks." 
"We’re not snooty,” Will said, although that wasn’t exactly true. Maybe they were, a little. He unlocked his phone and saw the email from Sarah, the subject line of which read: “DON’T ARGUE IT WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU/US/THE MAGAZINE.” He sighed and looked back at Jeremy. “I can’t believe she sent you to a food thing." 
"I’m offended,” Jeremy said, although it didn’t much sound like it. “I know food." 
"Oh really? So last year when we were in Beijing and you were looking for a McDonald’s that was just you knowing food, huh,” Will drawled.
“Sometimes you just really want a Happy Meal,” Jeremy joked, and Will just shook his head.
“I guess we should figure out what we’re doing, then,” he said, and Jeremy raised his eyebrows. 
“About the story,” he said, “right?" 
"Yeah, about the story,” Will grumbled. 
“Whatever you say,” Jeremy said affably, just like always. 
+
It was actually pretty easy to figure out how to cover the festival now that he had a partner in crime. They worked out a plan that afternoon, sketched out a couple of pieces, a collab for Adventure., a short guest piece for Will on The Travel Geek, and a short story in the magazine for Jeremy. Sarah signed off on everything from afar– “What time is it where she is? Does that woman ever sleep?” Jeremy asked, as they both got email after email. “I don’t think she does, man,” Will laughed– and they got to work pretty quick. There was plenty to do and they were both here for a few days, so they wandered through the park as they worked, stopping occasionally to sample food or take photos.  Eventually they walked all the way out of the park and into the city, up to a big plaza, Piazza Castello, in the center of the historic part of town. They got gelato from one of the many carts set up nearby for the festival, and sat outside, eating and talking as the sun set. 
It was nice. It was always nice, when they ran into each other. That wasn’t the problem. But they’d been stuck in the same routine for years now: they’d find themselves in the same place, Jeremy would laugh, Will would pretend he was annoyed, and then they’d spend a good chunk of their time together enjoying each other’s company in as many ways as they could find, and then they’d head to the airport and go their separate ways. And that was that. This shouldn’t be any different, but somehow it was. Maybe it was the sunset lighting up Jeremy’s skin, or maybe he’d just been lonely too long, but maybe they needed to figure out what they were doing with more than just the stories they were here to tell. 
“You wanna get dinner?” Will said, before he could talk himself out of it. 
“Yeah,” Jeremy said, smiling again, and this time Will let himself smile back. Just a little.  
They asked around for recommendations and ended up at a little restaurant in the city, a few blocks from the Piazza. They split a bottle of wine, a margherita pizza, and some perfectly fried fish, and they didn’t really talk about work at all. 
“You know,” Jeremy said, about halfway through the wine, “not for nothing, but I’ve gotta say, this looks and feels a lot like a date." 
"I wasn’t under the impression that you’d be opposed to that,” Will said.
“Oh, I’m not opposed,” Jeremy told him, “I’m just a little surprised you’re asking. I figured at this point it was gonna have to be me who said something." 
Will eyed him carefully, thought back to a lot of nights on a lot of trips. "How long exactly have you been waiting around?" 
"I mean, don’t get the wrong idea, here, I haven’t been pining away for you like some Victorian in a bad novel,” Jeremy said, and Will snorted. “But yeah. I played a long game, man. I gotta say, though, after that fishing boat incident in Guyana I really thought you figured out we had a thing." 
"Yeah, well, I didn’t have time to notice, I was too busy taking pictures of you hiding behind that skinny British guy when that big old fish jumped out of the water,” Will snickered. 
“Big old– that thing was two-hundred and thirty-four pounds of ichthyological torpedo headed straight for yours truly,” Jeremy said, and Will chuckled. “Big doesn’t really describe it.”
“Hmm. It was kinda wild he thought we were gonna get in the water with it,” Will mused.  He winked. “Glad you finally remembered you owed me dinner for keeping him from pushing us into the river." 
"Ha. You know Sarah wants us to work with that guy again, right?" 
"Aw, hell,” Will said. “Really?" 
"Yeah,” Jeremy confirmed. “She said she was gonna talk to you about it when we got back from this. Canada this time, so when Mister Fisherman tries to throw me in the water at least the hypothermia will probably get me before the monster fish does." 
"Nah,” Will said. “Don’t worry about that. Nobody throws you off a fishing boat. Except maybe me. No. Well. Maybe. No,” he concluded. 
Hah. I mean, okay, that does sound like me. 
Oh, I am aware, trust me. 
“Sarah maybe also mentioned we might do a few more of these little…collaborative things,” Jeremy said, drawing invisible circles on the table. “Maybe even in a more formal capacity." 
Will raised his eyebrows. "No way she talked you into giving up the blog." 
"Oh, definitely not,” Jeremy said. “But funnily enough, people keep sending me emails about wanting a print version of some of my photographs? But I don’t really have the publishing connections. A magazine, though…” he shrugged. “Me and Sarah figured we might come to some kind of mutually beneficial arrangement, somehow. Might be seeing more of you, is what I’m trying to say." 
"Can’t say I mind that,” Will said, and reached out across the table to cover Jeremy’s hand with his. 
“I was hoping you’d say that,” Jeremy answered, and this time Will didn’t try to hide his smile. 
/end 
Okay? 
Okay, what? 
Well where the hell is the rest of it? 
What rest of it? It’s clearly implied that they’re dating now. They’re dating, they’re happy, they’re gonna work together for real, happily ever after, et cetera. 
they should have at least kissed. i would be into that 
This is what I’m saying. Where’s the resolution, here? 
Baby, anytime you want a kiss, you know where to find me. 
What I want is for you to take this seriously since you’re making us read all of it. 
Wow, okay. Here: 
They walked around the city for a long time after dinner, still holding hands, and the kiss they shared later under the moonlight felt like a promise. The Actual End. 
Y'all happy? 
too sappy 4 me but idk what eliot thinks
Not your best work but it’ll do, I guess. 
Are you still in the kitchen? 
Yeah, why? 
I’m gonna come give you a demonstration of my best work, that’s why. 
Bring it on, man. 
do i get a demo too
You know it.
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missperfectlyfine13 · 4 years
Text
A Bandaid For Your Bullet Hole (1/?)
I’ve been sitting on this idea for a while now and I’m still not sure how I feel about it (I kind of feel like it’s crap lol). Let me know if I should continue! 
Summary:  Outside of Barden, Chloe’s life is harder than she would like to admit. When she’s at school she gets to forget all about problems, she gets to be normal. She doesn’t like to let people know about her life outside Barden, with the exception of her best friend Aubrey. Then she meets Beca Mitchell, and somehow she becomes the second exception. Will Beca be the answer Chloe has been looking for?
Read Below or on AO3/FF
“Our Sorrows and Wounds Are Healed Only When We Touch Them With Compassion” – Buddha
May 2012, End of Chloe’s Junior Year
Chloe watches sadly as Aubrey packs up her bags, her side of their shared room in the Bella house looking dreadfully empty. Their last day of classes was yesterday and all the girls in the house are working hard to pack.
Aubrey and Chloe are going to be the only Bellas left next year, so Aubrey is moving all of her stuff from their shared room to the room across the hall. Leaving Chloe feeling even more empty than she already is.
“You sure you don’t want to come home with me this summer?” Aubrey offers one more time, her eyes soft and sympathetic, because she knows, she’s the only one who knows.
Chloe shakes her head, “No I’ll be fine here. It’ll give me a chance to clean this house up before next year anyways. The other girls aren’t exactly cleaning up their mess.”
“Ok, but if you change your mind…the offer stands,” Aubrey zips up her last bag of clothes, standing up to survey the damage.
Going home with Aubrey for the summer actually sounds amazing, but Chloe feels bad. She feels like she would be imposing. Aubrey’s home isn’t the happiest most days with her dad gone 90% of the time, so she doesn’t want to cut into the little family time they’ll have.
Chloe stopped going home over summer after her freshmen year. Her mom has only gotten worse in the last 6 years, making her near to impossible to be around. Not to mention the endless stream of men in and out of their house. Her brother Jake isn’t an option either, with him being on the road for his job most days. Which leaves her with her only other option, staying on campus all summer.
“I appreciate it,” Chloe thanks her best friend quietly, knowing she won’t take her up on her offer.
“Have you talked to her lately?” she immediately knows who Aubrey is talking about.
Chloe shakes her head, “No. I know nothing has changed…she knows I won’t come home unless she gets her shit together.”
“I’m sorry it has to be that way,” Aubrey reaches a hand out and places it on her shoulder.
“Yea me too.”
************
September 2005
Chloe watches grimly as her mom polishes off her second beer of the morning. There’s an empty case next to her recliner in the living room, providing an awful memory of the night before. She had been angry, angrier than Chloe ever remembers her being. Chloe locked herself in her room and hadn’t come out until this morning.
“Mom,” she tries to keep her voice steady and strong, but it still quivers betrayingly, “the funeral is in an hour…are you going to be ready?”
“I’ll be ready,” she replies flatly, tossing her empty bottle into the recycle bin.
“Grandma and grandpa are coming to pick me up,” Chloe clarifies.
It sounds awful, but she doesn’t trust her mom not to be drunk. She doesn’t want to ride in a car with her. Chloe would drive the both of them, but she only has her temporary license. She’s not 16 until next year.
“They could take you too,” she offers quietly.
Her mom shakes her head, “I’ll be fine to drive myself…I could drive you too.”
“Um that’s ok,” she shifts anxiously between her two feet, “just be careful.”
Her mom gives her a dark stare, before cracking open another beer. She always liked a drink, but it was something that never got in the way of her life. It never got in the way until her dad died. The day the call came that he had been in a car accident and most likely wasn’t going to make it, her mom just lost it. She hasn’t been the same since. Well, neither has Chloe.
Chloe and her dad were so close. She always got along better with him than her mom. A part of her died that day and she’ll never get it back. The only other person in the world who gets her like her dad, is her older brother Jake. Jake is in college across the country, so Chloe rarely sees him. He flew into town yesterday, but after assessing the situation, he refused to stay at the house, checking himself into a hotel instead. Chloe almost hates him a little for it, for leaving her here with their mom. Regardless of her feelings about him chickening out, she’s aching to see him. Chloe just needs a hug; she needs to talk to him. She needs someone else around her, someone other than her drunk mother.
Chloe’s still worried about her mom driving, so she throws a last-ditch effort at her, “I could see if Jake could come pick you up?”
Her mom scoffs loudly, “He didn’t even want to come home, what makes you think he’s going to pick me up.”
She’s clearly not winning this one, “Ok, well I’m going to go put my dress on before grandpa gets here.”
************
The funeral is just as painful as Chloe had assumed it would be. It makes it real, she’s really saying goodbye to her dad. She’s really left here with her mom.
Chloe’s not sure her mom will ever pull it back together and that scares her. She smelled like a 12 pack of miller light when she got to the church. As person after person walks up to her to give their condolences, Chloe cringes. She knows they can smell it too, it’s embarrassing.
“You going to be ok with her Chlo?” Jake walks up to her, the two standing side by side watching as their childhood pastor talks to their inebriated mother.
Chloe sighs deeply, “I’m going to have to be, someone needs to watch after her. I’m worried Jake.”
“I am too,” Jake runs a hand through his hair anxiously, “you know I’m only a phone call away though.”
“Like you can do anything to actually help though, you didn’t even stay at the house last night,” Chloe replies bitterly.
“I’m sorry about that,” he shuffles his feet nervously, “I couldn’t bear to watch the train wreck…I should have been there.”
“Dad would want someone to make sure she’s ok,” Chloe swallows back tears as she says it, “I have to stay with her.”
“He loved you so much Chloe, he’d want you to be safe and happy.”
Chloe knows that’s true, but in three years she’ll be in college. She has an out, she owes it to her dad to hang in there.
“I’ll be fine,” she forces a smile at her brother.
Jake pulls her into a tight hug, “Love you Chlo.”
“I love you too Jake,” she mumbles into his shoulder, willing her tears to not escape.
************
September 2012, Chloe’s Senior Year
“I can see your toner through those jeans!” Aubrey barks out into the mostly empty practice space.
Chloe cringes internally. She likes Beca…ok she also likes Beca. Something about the little alt girl drew her in right away. She’s not sure if it was the sass she dished back to them at the activities fair, or when she had an impromptu duet with her in the shower. Maybe it was her audition, where she blew everyone away with a simple song and a yellow cup. Chloe can’t put her finger on it, but she can’t seem to shake the brunette from her mind.
And Beca is talented. Aubrey has such a grudge against her she can’t even stop to see it. They desperately needed talent, especially after last years explosive ICCAs finals. The two of them had a hard enough time getting the girls they did, it’s a miracle they got someone as talented as Beca. Even if it took a little coercing from Chloe.
“That’s my dick,” Beca spits back, before turning on her heels to leave.
The response rips a quiet chuckle from the back of Chloe’s throat, but she manages to conceal it before Aubrey turns around. The blonde is red in the face, her hands shaking slightly.
“You don’t have to be so hard on her you know,” Chloe knows she’s playing with fire by saying something like that to her best friend right now.
She can practically see the flames roaring in her pupils as she turns to look at her, “Yes I do Chloe. She has an attitude and no respect for authority. Do you want any shot at finals this year?”
Of course she does, she’s not going to deny that, so she nods.
“That’s what I thought, so don’t question my methods,” Aubrey retorts quickly.
Ever since the year started, and Aubrey and Chloe took over the Bellas, there has been a certain bite to Aubrey that Chloe has never seen before. This isn’t the Aubrey Chloe knows, she’s starting to think she never knew her at all.
“I’ve got to get going Bree, I’ve got homework to do,” Chloe grabs her bag and slings it over her shoulder.
Aubrey is staring intently at the white board in front of her, wiping away some of the marks she made on their master plan, “Ok, see you back at the house.”
Chloe rushes out of the building, hoping that maybe she can still catch up to Beca. She wants to apologize, wants to make sure the other girl is ok. Chloe doesn’t want Beca to quit over this incident, for some selfish and not so selfish reasons.
Luckily, Beca is leaning against a large tree right outside the building, large headphones covering her ears, her face looking down at her phone. Chloe stalks quickly over to her. As she gets closer, Beca’s head snaps up, immediately making eye contact with her.
“Hey Beca,” Chloe chirps, as the younger girl slides her headphones down around her neck.
“Hi,” Beca replies cautiously, like she’s not sure what Chloe is here for.
“I’m sorry about Aubrey, she’s been extra control freak lately, that wasn’t cool of her to accuse you like that,” Chloe is quick to get her apology out, Beca doesn’t look like she would want to beat around the bush.
“I appreciate the apology,” relief washes over Chloe, that is until Beca continues to talk, “but that’s a really dumb rule. I’m not even sure I’m into Jesse, but I should be able to be with him…if I was.”
Chloe sighs, “I know it’s dumb…and if you really do like Jesse, I wont say anything to Aubrey. I’m pretty sure Bumper and Fat Amy have something going anyways.”
Beca wrinkles her nose, her mouth turning downward, “Oh uh wow…didn’t see that one coming.”
“Me either,” Chloe laughs.
“Thank you, I don’t see anything happening with Jesse, but still, thank you,” Beca says sincerely, before starting to slide her headphones back up.
This must be Chloe’s cue to leave, “Ok, well I’ll see you around!”
Beca nods, “Yea, see ya.”
************
Chloe wakes up the next morning with an ache in her heart and a sour taste in her mouth. She rolls over groggily and sees the date on the calendar above her desk.
September 14th. The anniversary of her dad’s death.
The hardest day of the year for her. Much like years gone by, she just wants to get the day over with. Go to class, go to practice, come home and go to bed. Tomorrow will be a better day.
“Miss you dad,” Chloe mumbles, clutching the locket around her neck.
The locket was a gift from Jake, a year after the death. There’s a picture of her dad inside. She hasn’t taken it off since the day she got it.
Chloe eventually manages to pull herself from bed and start her day. She goes to class, she tries hard to pay attention. She goes to practice and sings and dances like she means it. Inside though, she feels like she’s barely there. Her body is present but her mind is miles away.
None of the other girls seem to pick up on her mood, except for Aubrey…and surprisingly…Beca. She catches a few sympathetic glares, but Beca’s are more worried, presumably because she has no clue what has Chloe under the weather.
So, she’s almost not surprised when practice is over and Beca hangs around until it’s just the two of them left. Just as she’s about to leave, Beca walks over to her.
“Hey Chloe,” Beca pulls the straps of her backpack tight against her, “are you ok?”
Chloe nods and gives her a small smile, “Yea, I’m fine.”
“It’s just…you don’t seem fine, you kind of seemed really distant today,” Beca shrugs.
Beca clearly isn’t going to let it go, normally Chloe would jump on the opportunity to share with the younger girl, but she’d rather not share. But something in Beca’s expression lets her know that she’s not going to drop it.
“Um well, I guess I’m just kind of depressed today,” Chloe answers her as vaguely as she can.
“Why?” Beca immediately fires the question back.
Beca has never seemed to care much about any of the other girls like this. It has her wondering why she’s pushing so hard. Maybe her little apology yesterday spoke to Beca louder than she thought.
Chloe sighs quietly before answering, “Today is the anniversary of my dad’s death.”
“Oh god, wow,” Beca casts her gaze to the floor, “Chloe I’m really sorry.”
“It’s ok, I’ll be better tomorrow,” Chloe tries to reassure her.
The two stand in awkward silence, while Beca shifts around uncomfortably. This is Chloe’s cue to leave.
Before she can even consider walking past her, Beca puts a hand out, “Um, I don’t know if this would make things worse…or if you’d just prefer to be alone, but would you want to grab dinner with me? Or we could just go back to my dorm for a while and just chill, we could order take out. My roommate is going to be gone tonight and I thought maybe it would take your mind off things?”
Normally Chloe would prefer to spend her day in her bed and not move until tomorrow. But even under the circumstances, she doesn’t want to pass up an opportunity to spend more time with Beca and maybe get to know her better. Something tells her that spending some time with the other girl really would make her feel better.
“Sure, that would be great,” Chloe grins and Beca looks shocked that she said yes.
“Ok, cool,” Beca leads the way out of the building and towards her dorm.
“Do you like Chinese?” Chloe asks as they walk through the crisp autumn air.
Beca nods excitedly, “I love it.”
“I know a great place we could order from.”
Being with Beca already has her calmer. She’s not sure if it’s because of how much she likes her, or if it’s just the girl’s presence in general. Something about her puts all of Chloe’s anxiety behind her, it helps her forget why she was even sad today. Which makes her almost feel guilty, but she knows this is what her dad would want for her.
One thing is solidified in her mind now. Beca Mitchell is special and Chloe would be a fool to let her slip away.
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bubbashawn · 4 years
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No Nothing
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author: Lol I don’t know where this came from and also cheers to three days in a row of writing. Don’t expect this to become a thing anyways hope you like it. Am I just doing every trope ever? Yep and what about it 💓
synopsis: Shawn has always taunted you because you’re his best friend’s sister, but even Brian can tell it’s tearing you both apart.
warnings: Baby swears and all that but mostly just 2.5k of two people being stupid 😂
Carrots. You hated carrots, they were your favorite growing up and Shawn Mendes, the boy living down the street, ruined them for you.
“Hi carrots,” he would smirk down at you, “how’s it going?”
“Would you stop calling me that?”
“Mmmm no, no can do, sorry carrots”
Brian had called you that when you were a baby and that was fine, but his imbecile best friend Shawn? No way. Your brother had met the Canadian boy in school and honestly it was shocking you didn’t know him already. Pickering wasn’t exactly a big city so most people knew each other, but Shawn and you didn’t meet until Brian and him were besties.
At first you didn’t mind Shawn, he was nice enough and got your brother to leave you alone. But once that nickname set in you were officially not okay with each other. And it wasn’t like you could just ignore him because he’d show up everywhere. At hockey practice Shawn would constantly be shooting pucks your way, shouting that fateful nickname.
“On your right, carrots!”
You despised him. Until you didn’t. Maybe it was the day when he jumped into the car when the Craigen family drove Shawn home from the rink, his cheeks flushed pink and a bright white smile on his face.
“Hi carrots”
You didn’t respond that day with a snarky comment, caught up in his honey colored eyes. He had noticed you were sure but he was lost in conversation with Brian long before he could comment on your dazed state. Or maybe it was the day during freshman year when your sophomore boyfriend dumped you for the senior (who ended up leaving for college 4 months later), Shawn had approached you like you were glass and his step might shake the ground so much you’d crack. He hugged you that day, no teasing or prodding, just holding you together.
“Hi carrots,” his hand ran along your spine, “you okay?”
You just hid your teary eyed frown in his shoulder. The two of you stood there until Brian pulled you both to the couch in the basement and started playing a Harry Potter marathon. Your brother didn’t normally let you in on ‘bro time’ but he knew Shawn wouldn’t leave your side, though the boy would never admit it.
After that day the two of you came to an agreement, settling on harmless taunts and yet Shawn wouldn’t give up the nickname.
“You’re still my carrots, always will be.”
Everything was decent and the two of you were comfortable in the new mutual friendship you’d built. Shawn had told you a month later he’d be leaving for tour. You were 13 and he was 15. Before he left the Mendes and Craigen Clans got together for a farewell dinner, everyone was shocked by the lack of bickering between you two, even more so when he ate your carrots and you ate his tomatoes. The alliance was working.
Shawn came and went through Pickering, just like your boyfriends, except they actually remembered you. Shawn hadn’t even tried to see you when he was home, not that you cared of course, but you did miss his laugh. And his smile and him and maybe even that terrible name.
-
You wouldn’t see the famous boy until your graduation, 5 years after his goodbye dinner. Maybe it was because he rarely was home or maybe it’s because he didn’t visit the Craigen home and more than likely it was because you would leave when Brian mentioned Shawn making an appearance. You don’t know why you did it, you just did.
Graduating was all you looked forward to in all honesty. You had your friends and you had hockey but you didn’t care for that anymore because you wanted to get out of Pickering. Nothing was going to stop you now that you’d be attending university in Australia, that had always been the plan and now you were about to make it happen.
You didn’t even notice the tall boy until you stood from your arranged seat to collect your diploma but his shout was louder than anyone else’s.
“Go carrots!” He smiled right at you.
Shawn was looking at you for the first time in half a decade and he was a new person. He had grown substantially and his dorky figure had filled out. Honestly you gave yourself props for crushing on him before he got hot. But damn you weren’t complaining. You wanted to stare at him and ask all your unanswered questions with your eyes locked with his, but your ticket out of Canada was far more important than your childish crush. So you stepped forward walking along the grass up to the podium and shook hands with the staff of your school before walking back to your seat.
“Carrots!” His stride was fast to keep up with you as you ran towards your friends, “you went and grew up on me.”
“Says you, rockstar,” a new found confident tilt in your voice, “you cannot be the same imbecile from my childhood.”
He smiled brightly, ‘rockstar’, his new nickname. He loved that you gave him a nickname. He felt so comfortable talking to you and he missed the banter you two had always shared. Shawn missed you.
“Rockstar? Huh, I like it,” he pulled you into his chest, like he did all those years ago, “I’ve missed you.”
“Don’t go all soft on me now, I’m already dealing with Brian.” You laughed.
“Hey! I’m being serious here, really I did miss you, carrots.”
“I missed you too.”
It all felt serene, just smiling at one another. That is until your aforementioned brother tugged harshly as his arm wrapped around your waist.
“My baby sister is all grown up!”
“Brian!”
“If you think you can steal her away to catch up, think again Mendes!” He shouted at his best friend.
He just watched them happily, his own hand placed on Aaliyah’s shoulder.
“This dork’s time is reserved for me and only me until 6:30 tomorrow morning.”
You just laughed again, trying to pry his sturdy hands away from you when he started tickling you. But Shawn was confused, no longer laughing with the siblings.
“Why 6:30?”
Brian tensed against you. He knew of Shawn’s crush on his baby sister and though he wasn’t happy at first, he knew Shawn wouldn’t hurt her and that was what he really cared about. That and you wouldn’t have anymore shitty boyfriends who’d never treat you right.
“I didn’t tell you?” Shawn’s face fell at Brian’s tone, “she leaves for Australia tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” He choked on his words, “w-why so fast?”
“I want to grow accustomed to the new lifestyle and country itself before starting the spring semester.”
“O-oh” Shawn hated how his voice stuttered.
You felt his eyes on you the entire night up until you sent your teary farewells to your friends as they went home. You turned to say your final, most important goodbye of the night. But Shawn had already slipped through the door tucked in with the graduated hockey team. No hug. No smile. No nothing. Not even a “bye carrots”.
Shawn didn’t show up at the house the next morning nor when you hugged Aaliyah at the airport. Even Karen and Manny tearfully hugged you before you checked into security, but their son was nowhere to be seen.
-
Australia was everything you wanted and more. The beaches were to die for and the sun was tanning your skin well, not to mention you loved your school. Everything was perfect on all fronts but one. You hated how much Shawn’s dismissal bothered you. He didn’t know when he’d see you again but he brushed you off like you were some chip on his shoulder. You hate that it bothered you and you hate that he hurt you.
Shawn knew that he was an asshole before Aaliyah told him that you asked for him. His mom for God’s sake kept eyeing him like he was a hurt puppy and Shawn knew he looked like one too. Tour had started up again in Portland after your graduation and he was content with performing, it was his safe space. But he was just wanting to be in Australia with you.
“Hey Brian,” Shawn had to rush before his soundcheck because he wanted to know when you would get there.
“Hey man, what’s up?”
“Carrots is coming to the show, right?”
“She’s not sure,” he offered a short smile to Shawn, Brian blamed him for his sister’s reluctance, “she has a chem exam tomorrow.”
“O-oh, okay. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”
“Sure thing, now get out there, rockstar!”
Shawn froze and Brian knew he messed up. But the famous Canadian boy ran off after stumbling and started his soundcheck. He was a mess, so bad that Andrew called a break. He didn’t do that, not since the Handwritten tour.
“Shawn? What’s going on?”
He just sat there on one of the speakers off stage, dropping his head in his hands. Brian knew he had to do something because Shawn wouldn’t be able to pull it together without his baby sister pushing him along. Shawn just watched his friend walk off to the side, phone pressed to his ear.
“Y/N?”
-
You had no intention of driving the long 3 hours to Shawn’s arena. You had a hot cup of tea, your roommate thought it was gross saying “it’s so hot out though,” and the Harry Potter disk was calling your name. But Brian called and said Shawn needed you and that made the drive feel far longer than ever before.
Arriving at the Qudos Bank Arena 15 minutes before the concert was not the plan, but you hadn’t put into account the countless fans pushing and shoving their way past you. When you finally reached the side door your hair was disheveled, your strap had fallen down your shoulder, and your cheeks were flushed the same way Shawn’s always were.
“Hi,” you smiled at the security guard, “I’m Brian Craigen’s sister and I need to get through.”
He just laughed and turned away. Well, okay then. You stepped away from the door and called your big brother.
“Brian?”
“Y/N? Are you here yet? Kind of in desperate need.”
“Yeah, I am but security won’t let me in. I’m at door,” you looked around, “5A, I think.”
“Ok, I’m coming with Andrew. Give your phone to the guard, would you?”
The two men on the phone had a short conversation ending with the security guy apologizing profusely and opening the gate so you could slip into the venue. You didn’t know where to go but soon that anxiety settled when your clumsy brother ran right into you.
“Brian! Ow!”
“Sorry! Okay, so I’m taking you through to Shawn’s room,” he looked down at you, “yeah?”
“O-okay.”
-
Shawn’s dressing room was a disaster, you knew he wasn’t neat but this was on a whole new level. His wardrobe was thrown around and you sent a sympathetic glance towards Tiffany, his stylist, before finally glancing down at Shawn. He was curled over his legs on the couch, fingers pulling at the poor worn out curls. He looked like a disaster and your heart ached a little at the sight.
“Rockstar?”
His eyes whipped up and he froze as he took you in all the way from those stupid converse you refused to let go of, thought they were 2 sizes too small, all the way up to your signature red hair.
“C-carrots?”
Before you knew it, Shawn had jumped from his position and folded himself against you and your memory again flashed back to freshman year. You were enveloped in everything distinctly Shawn. His smell and his curls that tickled you. The tapping of his fingers against your spine. This was your Shawn, not that boy who failed to say goodbye 5 months ago.
“Hi bud, how are you doing?” You whispered in his shoulder.
“Better now, thanks.”
“I’m still a little mad at you,” he tensed up, pulling you impossibly closer, “no goodbye, no hug, no nothing, Shawn.”
“I’m sorry, carrots.”
The two of you crashed onto his couch in his previous spot but a different position. Shawn was almost at ease, neither of you mentioned the hand with that swallow tattoo still resting on your hip. He just looked at you and you looked at him. This was good.
“What’s going on?”
“What?” He seemed startled by your sudden question.
“Why did Brian think that it was important for me to be here? Why am I here, Shawn?”
He pouted and he just wanted to hold you but Shawn knew that you deserved an explanation for why he’s been so confusing.
“I can’t think straight without you around,” you went to interrupt but he cut you off, “let me say this and then you can go home if you really want to. Most of the tour I was fine with you not being there but when I knew you could be here and you chose not to? I don’t know, i-it threw everything off. And Brian would kill me for saying this but, carrots you drive me crazy. I mean you always have but I don’t know it’s different now. I always liked you, always, and Brian didn’t like the idea of me anywhere near you so I just deflected you. That’s why I started picking on you, calling you carrots. I just knew I couldn’t like you. But I really do, Y/N, I just can’t let you be mad at me.”
He looked at you, your face shocked and that’s when Shawn started to backpedal.
“Hey, relax okay? Nothing has to change your still my best friend’s annoying little sister. Nothing will be different,” Shawn pauses, “if you don’t want it too. I mean you don’t have to like me or anything just because I really li-”
You cut him off and you don’t care how cliche it is but everything fell into place. His lips were soft, not that you had thought they wouldn’t be. Shawn was so shocked he didn’t move until you pulled away, mumbling a short “sorry.” And the. He placed his lips against yours, finally, his hand cupped your jaw and everything was different between you two.
“Hey,” you pulled away slightly, your nose still pressed to his, “you didn’t call me carrots.”
Brian barged in right as Shawn was about to speak.
“Okay, I’m trying to be a ‘cool’ brother or whatever but no tongue when I’m around, deal?”
“Deal,” Shawn’s eyes still focused on you, “definitely a deal.”
“Yeah, yeah. Shawn you need to be on stage like now.” And with that Brian left.
“Come to the side stage?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” And you wouldn’t because Shawn was smiling at you like you were his world and maybe you were.
“Hey carrots?” He grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the door, “I really like you.”
permanent tag list: @wholesomemendes @fallinallincurls @ashwarren32 @mendesficsxbombay @haute-shawn @turtoix @prncsnee @http-isabela
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kaisooficrec · 4 years
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Hello! First time asker but longtime follower from 2014 ❤️ I love hurt/comfort so I would like to request fics where Jongin or Soo get jealous! The whole plot can revolve around it or it can just be a scene or chapter in a bigger plot/fic. Thank you!
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OMG hello lovely anons!! Since 2014, that is such an honour!! We have soooo many jealous kaisoo fics, we hope this will make up for waiting so long /cries
jealous kyungsoo:
Sucker - continuation to Tempo/Heaven jgjfj bad boy soo and soft nini >>>> anything else tbh (this series has both of them jealous!!!)
Can You Handle My Cue? - Canon compliant, Smut, Fluff, Humor. THE AMOUNT OF PUNS, my lord. TaeKai went on a very platonic pool date and Kyungsoo is not having it. Until Jongin shows him just how fun pool can be and how loved he is.
is that jealousy, i see? - PWP, non AU. Kyungsoo finds a KaiStal picture on Twitter and Jongin finds his jealous boyfriend incredibly sexy.
Say my Name - Single Dad!AU, FLUFF. This one is just self-indulgent because Kyungsoo is jealous of Jongin being the first one to be called by his own little daughter. Beautiful domestic sweetness.
Confession - Fluff, College!AU. Kyungsoo receives an unexpected confession from THE Kim Jongin and enjoys getting to know him and spending time with him. Until Sehun shows up and expresses a bit too much affection for the younger. EXO OT9 so their squads are toptier.  
Hearts & Empires - The Selection!AU, Modern Royalty!AU, Fluff, Angst, 26 chapters and counting.  Do Kyungsoo was one of the Selected by mistake. It was against his will. He hated being in the palace and he hated the crown prince. But will he say the same when he has found himself getting jealous whenever the crown prince spends his time with the other Selected?
Secret Love Story - they’re roommates and even tho they’re bfs, ksooo doesn’t open us easily due to his past and jongin is still very patient with him. ksoo also gets jealous of jongin’s friend luhan
(Won’t You) Build Me Up - engineer!jongin and architect!soo were once best friends since childhood and then boyfriends but they broke up and then meet again when they’re older and become neighbours. kyungsoo has a project and works on a new house for jongin
Imprint - kyungsoo works in a library and sees a guy spacing out with his headphones on and then they talk. he thinks jongin has a gf who always comes with him and kyungsoo is jealous 
jealous jongin:
Jongin Watches 100 Days My Prince - kgdjj inspo by soo’s drama….jealous nini and soo dressing up as a prince ;))))))
Your scent - Jongin gets jealous watching Kyungsoo kiss someone on set(Abo Au)
No one liked the green-eyed monster - Jongin is upset about kyungsoos drama and they have a bit of a falling out( there seems to be a theme with the jealous Jongin fics)
flip the switch - ABO Mechanics, smut, fluff. Kyungsoo just has a lot of affectionate friends but his alpha boyfriend does not like it.
is this how i die?(probably not) - Fluff, forced ChanSoo. Nothing new, just Jongin not understanding why he can’t be partnered with his favourite hyung in photoshoots.
Jealousy - Smut, Fuckbuddies!AU. It doesn’t matter if they argue (among other things) every time they meet, Kyungsoo is Jongin’s, and only Jongin’s.
Little Green Monster - Humor, Fluff. Jongin shouldn’t have tried to sabotage Chanyeol’s lunch for snuggling Kyungsoo to sleep, and payback didn’t have to go that hard on him.
Traces - Smut. Another one where Chanyeol annoys Jongin and awakes his territorial instincts. Kyungsoo just enjoys. *wink wink*
Yours - Married!AU, Fluff. Kyungsoo is happy to rebuild his awkward friendship with his ex-boyfriend Hyunsik but when Jongin knows, it takes even more effort.
0.4 - Married!AU, Light Angst, Oneshot. Kyungsoo doesn’t mind Jongin’s “strict” love but one day, he snaps. Whew, it escalated quickly and not in the freaky way. 
When Jealousy Hits Jongin - Established RelationshipAU, Fluff, Humor, OT12. Jongin gets jealous watching *his* Kyungsoo’s interactions with the boys. I am no softie but at this point, Tao is my child.
Write Me Into Your Fiction, Hyung - Fluff, Humor, Chaptered. Jongin just wants  Kyungsoo to notice him instead of obsessing over EXO M, but he’s too busy writing fanfiction. BaekSoo as bestfriends>>>
and they were rommates - Friends-to-lovers, Romance, Oneshot. Kyungsoo is set on confessing to his roommate and bestfriend Jongin after his return from a trip. What he doesn’t expect is said Jongin to have a boyfriend and him suddenly getting irrtated whenever Sehun came over for help or support.
Insidious - Non AU, Psychological Horror, side!KrisYeol. Jongin’s attraction to Kyungsoo has nothing to do with the superficiality of Kai’s fanservice with D.O. When he realizes that and discovers Kyungsoo’s crush on Chanyeol, the young boy resorts to extreme methods. Damn, that was an intense fic. Please proceed with caution.
I Am Happy When I Am With You - ABO Mechanics, Smut, Fluff. Alpha!Jongin always felt possessive towards his friend Kyungsoo but never worked up the courage to confess. It only gets worse when Omega!Kyungsoo offers to share his first heat with him. Cute idiots in love.
Off screen - jongin is jelly jelly because kyungsoo had a kiss on screen with his co-star actress :))
Can’t Stand it Babe (Gotta Have You) - office au, co-workers and friends flirt with ksoo and jongin is having none of that
have a fake bf/gf to make the other jealous:
The Friend Zone - HunHan are tired of how dense Kyungsoo is with his bestfriend!Jongin and hire Taemin to make his realize that the Eternal Friendzoned boy actually friendzoned his bestie. Humor and super gay Luhan.
To Steal You with a Kiss - Humor, Smut, side!Chanbaek. Kyungsoo and Kai are only friends with benefits but Kyungsoo wouldn’t mind feeling a little more loved. And what’s better than making Jongin jealous and fake dating his friend Ren. This is the first fic I read with a NU’EST member (Choi Minki).
both are jealous:
Miss Me - Smut, Romance. All of South Korea knows Actor!Kyungsoo for being husband material and CEO!Jongin for being one of the hottest bachelors in the country. What they don’t know is that they only have eyes for each other. (both are jealous here)
A Heart at Peace - top top! this is a good drama ad pining in one where they’re jealous without realizing that. jongin is junmyeon’s younger brother and a friend, or so kyungsoo thinks but jongin has stronger feelings towards kyungsoo than just being friends 
like glass - roommates kaisoo / housemates. first they just lived together and ksoo took care of jongin very well even if jongin had a gf at that time then jongin realizes that ksoo is the best person he could ever ask for
Happy reading ~ Admin Cookie & Admin J
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jalapeno-princess · 4 years
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Just Weren’t Meant To Be
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(THE BICEPS) (I’M SCREAMING)
Mark Tuan X Reader
Word Count: 10K
Genre: Angsty Angst, Lovers to Ex’s
Summary: You find yourself returning back to California after four years of being away in order to attend the wedding of your best friend BamBam. Although you were more than excited to spend time with your family and to show your soon-to-be husband Jinyoung around the place you were born and raised, there was a specific person you weren’t all too excited to have to see again. Your first love, Mark Tuan. 
A/N: Based on the song “Home from the summer” by Sara Kay. I heard this song a couple of days ago and the story just came out like it normally does after I finish listening to a song. I started writing Chapter four in the “Crazy little thing called love” series, but I’m going to be honest--I’m having a little bit of writer’s block with that story and I’m frustrated because I want to hurry up and finish the series because I have a lot of other ideas planned, but my life is all over the place right now and so is this story. But I hope you all enjoy it anyway. Happy reading! 
We started getting close Freshman year, when all our friends were smoking cigarettes And we couldn't stand that secondhand smoke So we'd leave and drive around until you had to drop me off at home Swear that was yesterday But in two weeks I'd be moving south And you'd be moving to a town that I had never heard of I wish we had more time, why did I ever wanna grow up? You said you'll see me When we're home for the summer We won't have to work so we're gonna Do whatever the hell we wanna 'Cause we know that one day we'll be Gone from each other
Hey Mark?”
“Hm?”
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
You and your best friend Mark were currently lying on his roof, gazing at the stars while talking about how he needed to take his car to the auto repair shop when you found yourself curious about the future. The two of you were currently in your senior year of high school and it didn’t occur to you how time practically came and went in the blink of an eye. It felt like it was just yesterday you and the boy who’s face was smashed against your navel were introduced to one another. 
Back in freshman year, there was one night that your best friend BamBam was meant to pick you up from a coffee shop after you worked on a group project for more than three hours. Two of your group members were actually upperclassman and they offered to drop you off, but because BamBam already agreed to doing so—you politely declined. However, you found yourself waiting almost twenty minutes after they all left just to get a response back from the older boy. Seeing as how you’ve been friends with him for almost five years, you should have been aware of the fact that he had a tendency to make multiple plans with different people. 
“Y/n—shit, I was supposed to pick you up tonight wasn’t I? I’m so fucking sorry—ah, I’m like forty minutes away; let me call you a cab. I’ll pay for it—wait, I have a better idea. I have a friend who lives right by the shopping mall, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind taking you home. He owes me one anyway. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” 
You wanted to yell at him; how could he be so irresponsible and forget about the favor he was the one to offer in the first place. He was completely aware that you were the definition of an introvert. Sometimes, you had a hard time processing the fact that you both were friends in the first place. You and BamBam were complete opposites; he was outgoing and extremely friendly. 
His bright and bubbly personality was one that you were always jealous of. You couldn’t talk to someone for more than five minutes without having a mental breakdown. A part of you wanted to say no; although you and BamBam had such a tight-knit friendship, there were still some things about him that you had no idea about. His group of friends; the ones he’d hang out with when he wasn’t with you just so happened to be a mystery to you. 
The only thing you knew about them were their faces. You didn’t know any of their names; nor have you been introduced with any of them, but it was because BamBam claimed that he wanted to keep you all to himself. He was extremely protective over you. From the time you both were kids, BamBam was like your shadow. 
Everywhere you went, best believe he was right there with you—no matter where or when. You were the only person in his life that has been a constant and he was going to make sure it stayed that way. When Mark arrived less than ten minutes after you got off the phone with BamBam, you were mentally thanking him for his failure to be your ride home. 
Sure, you believed your best friend was one of the most attractive boys you’ve seen in your life, but the minute he parked the car and made his way over to you, your heart felt as if it was about to jump out of your chest and in to his hands. He was beautiful in a way that you didn’t think boys were capable of being. His smile—God, it had to be the prettiest one to have been sent your way. 
“Hey, you must be y/n. I’m Mark. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner—and I’m even sorrier that you have BamBam as a friend. Let’s get you home.” 
You didn’t know what to expect on the ride back to your house, but laughing till your stomach hurt was the last thing you thought would have happened. What started off as a simple joke about how BamBam has the attention span of a puppy turned in to a vast conversation about how gummy worms were way better than gummy frogs. You didn’t think you would’ve had as much fun as you did, but now that you knew of Mark Tuan and how he was like, you wouldn’t be able to get enough of him.  
“Let me think, oooh! Rich—hahahaha! I’m kidding—well, not really. I actually wouldn’t mind being an astronaut!” You playfully rolled your eyes before shoving him off of your lap at the sound of his unrealistic expectations. 
“Mark, I’m being serious.”
“And so am I! What? You don’t think I’d be able to get a job at NASA and float through outer space—fine. But I don’t know what you mean by “when we grow up.” Y/n, we’re months away from becoming adults. We’re old.” 
You giggled softly at the way he whined when talking about how old the two of you were going to be. Unlike Mark who hated the idea of aging and having to prepare for the real world, you were excited to finally go off to college and possibly get a job that allowed you to travel the world. You still had yet to decide exactly what major you planned on studying, but you knew you wanted to go away for college. 
Studying abroad has been a dream of yours for as long as you could remember. One thing you really enjoyed was learning more about many different cultures around the world and you’d find yourself reaching at any opportunity offered that would allow you to actually pursue your dreams. Mark on the other hand, couldn’t give less of a shit about what field he was going in to. 
The boy hated school with a passion and if it weren’t for your nagging and the constant need to force him to complete his work, Mark was pretty sure he would have flunked at least two—if not all of his classes if you weren’t so persistent with his education. That was only one of the many things Mark adored about you. You were the only person who genuinely cared about his success—his well-being, his happiness and just him in general. Honestly, Mark couldn’t care less about what his future held. As long as you were in it, he’d be content. Even if it meant he worked in a grocery store bagging people’s items or being a tailor for elderly men. 
“I can’t give you an actual answer because I have no clue. I just want to work somewhere that I will be happy working for. What about you? Do you have an idea or have you brainstormed what you’re going to do once we graduate?” 
You contemplated his question for a couple of seconds. For some odd reason, you felt as if you shouldn’t tell him of your plans; you were afraid of his reaction once you were to admit you had every intention of leaving California knowing that Mark had every intention of living there for the rest of his life. California was your home; it was all you’ve known for the last eighteen years of your life. It was time for you to make new memories elsewhere. As much as you hated lying to him, it broke your heart even more watching his defeated facial expression when he heard something he wished he rather not have. 
“I don’t know. I just want a job I won’t stress over. A job that I will sincerely enjoy and not cry over because of how difficult the work is.” He hummed in agreement before sitting up and looking at you with an expression you’ve never seen him give you before. There was a certain glint in his eye—you couldn’t put your finger on it, but you did particularly enjoy the warm feeling his gaze caused to your chest. 
“I don’t care what my occupation ends up being, where I end up living, what kind of house I end up purchasing or the car I end up driving—all I care about are the people that are in my life and I know you are going to be one of them. Hell, you’re the only one that I need y/n.”
You didn’t know how you were able to stay away from California for so long. Four years was an extensive amount of time to have been away from the place you called home, but you were too busy living out the life you’ve only dreamt of when you were old enough to realize what dreaming was. Right after you graduated from high school, you wasted no time in packing your bags and traveling thousands of miles away to Europe. 
Out of all the places in the world to choose from, you decided to go with Europe specifically because of how beautiful the scenery and architecture were. Studying abroad had to be both the best and the worst decision you’ve ever made in your life. Sure, you were given the chance of a lifetime; being able to visit all these different countries at the prime age of only nineteen was something that most people could only fantasize about. But it was at the cost of losing your favorite person in the entire world. You haven’t seen or heard from Mark since the night that you left for Italy. 
Most of your friends were more than happy to hear of your plans. Mark on the other hand wasn’t too fond of the idea—at all. In fact, he was selfish. He begged you to stay and he told you he was willing to do whatever he had to in order to prevent you from leaving. You couldn’t blame him for the way he was acting—only a couple months before your high school graduation, both you and Mark agreed on taking your relationship further than the friendship you’ve shared for years. 
It wasn’t an overnight decision; your feelings for Mark only grew the longer you were friends with him for and when he asked you to be his girlfriend, it only confirmed that he felt the same way. If you thought that Mark already was an amazing friend, he was an even better boyfriend. He was already such a patient, kind-hearted and very generous person to everyone he knew. But you were the lucky person who got to see and experience how loving and tender Mark could be in a relationship. 
Before you; Mark was never one to date. Dating was not in his vocabulary. He wasn’t necessarily a fuckboy like you considered most of his friends to be. Every girl he would get involved with knew of his intentions. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get in to a relationship. There were times that he would get lonely and crave the presence of someone other than his friends and family. He just didn’t care about the domestic part that came with having a girlfriend. 
Mark felt like he was still too young to worry about impressing someone, keeping in contact and constantly having to texting someone, changing himself to be someone his significant other would be proud of—all he wanted to focus on was living freely without a care in the world before life actually became all the more difficult. Once he realized that he was falling for you, he knew he was screwed—yet at the same time, it felt good because it was you. 
When he found himself missing you on the days he couldn’t see you or right after he would drop you home, when he’d find himself calling you up in the middle of the night because he wanted to hear your voice, when he began cancelling on outings with his friends in order to spend time with you, he knew he had found someone who meant more to him than life itself. He wanted to do better—be better for you. 
Falling in love with you had to be the easiest and honestly the best thing Mark has ever done. You’ve captivated his heart in ways that he never thought was possible for him to experience. Mark never felt like he was capable of loving someone nor receiving love from anyone other than his family. But when the two of you began dating, all he ever wanted to do was love you and be loved by you—and only you. 
Your relationship lasted for eight months and deep down in your heart, you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You were willing to give up on your dreams in order to continue your relationship with Mark. There were many opportunities out there for you that didn’t require having to leave—and you were sure that you would one day be able to experience traveling the world; hopefully by that time, you’d be able to go with Mark. 
Everything you ever wanted to do, you wanted him right by your side when accomplishing it. Sure, there was so much more out there that the world had to offer, but there was only one Mark Tuan. Mark was the one to show you what love was. He taught you how to fall in love with yourself; he made you love the things you hated about yourself simply because he loved everything about you. You felt as if you were the most beautiful girl in the entire world because he looked at you and treated you as though you were the most ethereal goddess that he just so happened to have the honor in being able to call his. 
The two of you were still so young to really understand that being in love also meant making sacrifices for the people you truly cared about. As much as you hated the idea of being away from him, you wanted your cake and you wanted to eat it too. You were willing to keep a long distance relationship because you felt it with your entire being that Mark was your person and that he was the one you would settle down and start a family with. 
The two of you spent every single day of summer together. Some days, you would do something quite eventful. Mark was a daredevil and loved anything adventurous. Hiking, scuba diving, zip lining and even skydiving were only a few of the many activities you did together. On the days that you were too lazy to even get out of bed, you would stay in and watch movies together—sometimes it led to kissing—which usually led to you on your knees bringing Mark to heaven more than once in your love making session. 
You could only hope that he would have wanted to wait for you; but you were well aware that it was too much to ask for. He might have told you on a daily basis that he loved you with every beat of his pathetic heart, but sometimes love just wasn’t enough to keep someone in your life. The day that you left for Europe was the same day that he told you he couldn’t handle it. He claimed that you chose your dreams over him and that if it were him in your shoes, he would have chose you.
It hurt—hearing him talk so negatively about something you’ve wanted to do for longer than you could count on your hands made you feel so dejected. Mark of all people should’ve been the one to support you; to cheer you on in each and every one of your endeavors. It made you feel as though he didn’t love you as much as you thought he did. If he genuinely cared about you, he would’ve gave long distance a try. 
You knew you were going to miss him, and that you would be miserable not being able to have him around. But you would rather be in a relationship with him even if it meant being a world away from one another than to be with anyone else you’d get to see everyday. Your heart felt as if it could break right then and there knowing that he didn’t have the same mindset as you. Losing Mark was a pain that was so hard to bare. He was in your life—your daily routine for over four years. 
He made you laugh on the days that it didn’t even feel possible to omit any kind of emotion let alone a lively one. He held you and whispered sweet nothings in to your hair when you felt as if the entire world was against you. He kissed your cheeks as a distraction from your studies and held your hand as a way of comfort when you were in a crowded area. How were you supposed to live without the only person who gave you the will to live in the first place. 
Mark was the only person and honestly the only thing you could really look forward to when you’d wake up in the morning. He was all your heart knew and wanted to know. What were you supposed to do and how could you possible go on without him? 
“Babe—you’re dozing off again. Everything okay? I know it’s been a while since you’ve been back home, so let me know if you want to stop somewhere and take a small rest.” 
You looked at your boyfriend who was currently driving the two of you to a hotel near your parents house. Park Jinyoung was an angel; an actual prince. Not only was he painstakingly handsome, irritatingly intelligent and extremely polite, but he had such a big heart. It honestly irritated you how perfect he actually was. You and Jinyoung had just gotten engaged a little over two months ago and you didn’t think that anyone would have been able to fill the hole in your heart that Mark caused when he broke up with you all those years ago. You didn’t think you’d be able to love anyone the way you loved him; but then again—you considered the love you had for Mark to be immature and silly. 
The two of you were still teenagers at the time. You still had yet to really experience what love actually felt like—or at least that’s what you kept telling yourself in attempts to rid the thought of him from your mind completely. Sure, you loved Jinyoung more than you would ever be able to express to him; but there was still a tiny little part of you that missed Mark and wished that it was his ring on your finger. 
Even when you first met Jinyoung while in a cute little cafe in Paris while you both were studying abroad and began dating him not too long after meeting, you were still holding on to a thread of hope that Mark was going to welcome you back home with open arms once your time in Europe was over with. You’d find yourself looking at your phone every now and then, waiting for a text from him telling you that he made a mistake and that he wanted you back in his life. 
That he would be willing to continue your relationship and that everything would be okay between the two of you—but nothing ever came and you haven’t heard from him or seen him since you left. You gave up on him entirely and allowed Jinyoung to break down the walls that you’ve spent so much time building up after the break up. There were some days that you felt like Jinyoung deserved better; he deserved someone with less baggage and turmoil that came from your previous relationship. You didn’t feel the need to mention Mark, nor did you want him knowing that you were still harboring feelings for your ex-boyfriend, but it was only natural for you to do so. 
He was your friend before he was your boyfriend—honestly, you began regretting ever agreeing to be in a relationship with him. No matter how much you liked him before you dated, you would have rather stayed friends with him and at least have him in your life as just a friend than to not have him at all. You smiled softly to your boyfriend before placing your hand on his thigh and squeezing it gently. 
“I’m good—I just, I don’t know how I’m going to react when I see my friends from high school. Most of them I haven’t even talked to since graduation. Oh, I’m going to warn you, my family can be a little —much. They’re all going to be at the wedding, so I’m just preparing you for all the madness before you can get upset with me for not telling you sooner. BamBam and I have been friends for so many years and since we were always together, our families ended up growing close to one another also—so yeah. His family might even approach you also and I just want to apologize beforehand. You might just want to leave me after the festivities are over and I wouldn’t blame you.” 
His laughter that you’ve grown to adore in the last few months filled the entirety of the rent-a-car and you had a huge feeling that if you were to look at him right now, his eyes would be scrunched while crinkles would appear right under. You didn’t think that someone who was just a couple of months away from turning twenty-seven years old could possess such an adorable, high pitched giggle; but here he was, proving you wrong like he did with almost everything you had your doubts about. 
Jinyoung never gave you a reason to question your self-worth, nor did he ever do anything to make you insecure. You received at least one compliment almost every single day from him whether it was about your appearance or your personality. In the beginning of your relationship, it came as a surprise to you when you found yourself growing jealous whenever you caught girls ogling over him—but it was inevitable. Anyone with good eyesight could see how gorgeous your fiancé was. 
He stood out in a crowd not only because he was almost six feet tall, but because he had very unique and exotic features. His eyebrows were nicely shaped; he had a sharp jawline, well-defined cheekbones, a cute little button nose and his lips were very plump. You were also quick with observing how a lot of his classmates would look at you with either jealousy or disgust. 
Jinyoung had explained to you that before he applied to study abroad, he made a pact with himself that he would focus on his education and put his love life on hold until he graduated with his bachelor’s degree in criminology. For the first couple of months, he was doing quite well. Although he did see a few girls he believed were very pretty, none of them really caught his attention for more than a couple of seconds. 
When Jinyoung first approached you in the café, he had no idea you would mean as much to him as you did now. All he wanted to do was ask you about the book you were reading. R.L. Stine had to be one of his favorite authors, but when he saw your cheeks flush as he stood at the corner of your table, he couldn’t have given less of a shit about the novel you were holding in your hands. He wanted to learn more about you; what you were doing in France, if you were an avid reader, how you liked your coffee in the mornings and if you’ve seen any episodes of the office. 
The last time he’s ever felt his heart race over a girl was back in the seventh grade. He felt like something was wrong with him for not feeling the desire to chase after girls the way his friends used to, but he believed being single and putting his education first was worth it. Not only was he interning at one of the most prestigious law offices South Korea had to offer, but he was just months away from marrying the person he considered the love of his life. 
It didn’t take him too long to come to the conclusion that he was in love with you. He was actually embarrassed to admit just how quickly he found himself putting you and the four letter word in the same sentence together. However, if he could go back in time, he would’ve admitted what he felt to you sooner. 
“Don’t apologize baby—it’s understandable. They must all be excited to see you again, so it’s a given that they’ll be curious. Especially seeing as how you’re engaged. A couple of trivial questions aren’t going to drive me away. You’re going to be my wife in February, so there’s no getting rid of me now or at all for that matter. You’re stuck with me forever; so I’m going to put up with whatever you consider is embarrassing, crazy or unnecessary. I mean look—I’ve seen you through your stinky morning breath, your drunken stupors, the many times you’ve cried over school, that one time you broke out in hives because you didn’t know you were allergic to pollen and I still think you are the most exceptionally beautiful and indescribably wonderful human to walk this earth. Everything is going to be fine y/n and even if things don’t turn out the way you want them to, I’ll be right by your side to protect and keep you away from anyone or anything that could possibly make you uncomfortable.” 
His kind speech tugged on your heartstrings in the sweetest way. Jinyoung’s words never failed to make you smile. Sometimes you’d find yourself tearing up at how thoughtful he could be. You weren’t going to lie; of course you invited Jinyoung to tag along with you to BamBam’s wedding because you wanted all your friends and family to meet the man you were planning on spending the rest of your life with. However, that wasn’t the only reason. 
It was evident that Mark was going to be at the wedding whether you liked it or not. From what you’ve heard, he and BamBam were still very close friends and the last thing you needed was to see him with someone else while you were all by yourself. You hated the fact that you still thought about Mark every now and then. Not only did he break your heart and make you feel as if you weren’t worth waiting around for, but he made you feel as if your feelings, your dreams and your passions were invalid all because he was so in over his head and only cared about himself and his needs. 
What did it matter if he was in a relationship—or if he was just like you; moments away from marrying someone else. That’s life. You told yourself if you were to see him, you’d pretend like he didn’t exist but honestly, what good would that do? You were older now and you believed you were way passed your grudge against him. The man on your left, singing along to Post Malone off-key while tapping his hands on the wheel was the only person you cared about now. 
Since this was Jinyoung’s first time in California, you decided to keep your arrival a secret from everyone other than your parents. You didn’t want his first memory of being in the sunshine state to be of people pulling him here and there, asking him about his job, how the two of you met and what he did in his free time. You also wanted some alone time with him before everyone could get acquainted with him and possibly desire his full attention.
For the first couple of days, you and Jinyoung drove all around California; you brought him to the neighborhood you grew up in, showed him the schools you attended when you were younger, took him to Venice beach and the Santa Monica pier. You even surprised him with tickets to go to Disneyland. Honestly, it was nice taking a breather from the harsh reality that adulting brought both you and your soon-to-be husband. In those three days, you’ve gotten to witness how much of a child at heart Jinyoung is and how excited he would get at the littlest things. He pulled you everywhere around the park and you both ate almost all the cutely decorated treats they had to offer. 
On the day of BamBam’s wedding, you didn’t wake up until you had to start getting ready. You were on vacation; waking up at three in the afternoon was normal. Even more so because Jinyoung kept you up all night ramming himself inside of you at a deliciously rough and jack rabbit like pace. Your legs were practically jelly and you mentally cursed him for being a little too animalistic the night before. 
You didn’t think much of your outfit when you first purchased it; a simple maroon colored  strapless dress that showed off just the right amount of cleavage to leave little to the imagination yet still very classy that hugged your curves perfectly. Witnessing Jinyoung’s jaw drop as soon as he saw you with both your hair and makeup done made your heart flutter. He wasted no time in briskly walking over to you and bringing his hand up to grip at your hips. 
“You know—we could skip this entire thing and just send a gift to the lucky couple later. I kind of—I mean, I need to show you exactly what seeing you in that dress is doing to me. I’m sure you see my painfully hardened erection through these slacks. You look so fucking beautiful baby—you’ll probably give the bride a run for her money. How much time do we have left? Do you think I could at least eat you out—“
You playfully shoved him away from you and continued with the finishing touches on your hair. “Finish getting ready you horndog; that dress shirt isn’t going to iron itself. Chop chop babe, get moving. Stop that, I can see you undressing me with your eyes Park Jinyoung. If you are a good boy, I’ll let you take my dress off as soon as we arrive back here.” 
He released such a cute sigh; one that he always seemed to give you whenever he didn’t get his way but it was quickly replaced with a grin right after you promised him the latter. Your fiancé stole a chaste kiss from the corner of your mouth before making his way in to the bathroom to finish fixing his hair. As soon as the two of you were both done getting ready, you made your way over to the hotel BamBam was having his reception at. 
All of a sudden, your calm exterior was now distraught and worried beyond belief. Not even the comforting touch of Jinyoung’s hand wrapped around the back of your nape could sooth your nerves. There was a 95% chance you were going to see Mark tonight and you were afraid that something bad was going to happen. With a few deep breaths, you tried your best to think about anything but the possibility of tonight ending in ruins. 
It didn’t take too long for you and Jinyoung to find the hotel; there were at least fifteen different signs scattered around the area and you were sure BamBam set them up with every intention of gaining the attention of pedestrians, drivers and anyone passing by. The thought of how he never changed at all made you giggle softly. Your best friend was always an attention seeker and now that he was getting married, you knew he was going to use this night as an advantage to be the center of attention. 
There were hundreds of cars in the parking lot and you recognized a couple belonging to some of Bambam’s aunts, uncles and cousins. You saw a few of them leaving their cars and walking over towards the lobby. Tonight was supposed to be a happy night—but you felt like you were on the verge of throwing up. You were mentally preparing yourself to bump in to Mark. Although it’s been years since the breakup and you were completely over him, you didn’t know how you would react if he were to come up to you in the hopes of starting a conversation. After he parked the car, Jinyoung reached over the console and squeezed your thigh to get your attention. 
“Come on babe, the sooner we go in and join the party, the faster we can leave and I can take this dress off of you like you promised.” 
You playfully rolled your eyes and giggled at his all but innocent insinuation before getting out from your side of the car. Jinyoung was quick to take his place by your side; he grabbed your purse and immediately intertwined your hands together. Something about his presence was exceedingly calming. No matter what were to happen once you both walked in to the ballroom, you knew everything was going to be okay as long as your fiancé stayed by your side. When the two of you finally made your way inside and out towards the garden where the ceremony was being held, you saw that almost all the chairs were filled up. 
There were many familiar faces in the crowd; you smiled politely at BamBam’s siblings and smirked when you saw your mutual Jackson who was sitting next to who you were told was his girlfriend. You didn’t know how to explain exactly what you were feeling seeing that so much has changed in the last four years since you’ve been gone. 
Jackson and BamBam were the last two people on earth that you would have ever thought would settle down and start families. Back in high school, all they ever did was attend parties, get wasted and fool around with any girl that showed interest in them. Now; witnessing your best friend cry as his bride-to-be walked down the aisle towards him caused you to tear up a little yourself. Out of all your friends, BamBam was the only one to keep in touch with you for the last couple of years. 
You could still remember the day he called you up and told you that he was seeing someone; you were in complete and utter disbelief at the time and because you believed you knew BamBam like the back of your hand, you just assumed this was a phase until you’d listen to him talk about her the way Jinyoung would talk about you to his friends and his family. He was head over heels in love with her and you couldn’t have been more happier for him. 
The entire ceremony was beautiful; their vows were both so heartfelt and full of love and promise for their future ahead. Their sweet words and the way they looked at one another only heightened your excitement for your upcoming nuptials. Twenty minutes went by faster that you had thought it would and before you knew it, all the guests were being ushered in to the grand ballroom that was bigger than you could even have imagined. 
That was just the kind of person bambam was; go big or go home. You signed you and your fiancé in at the registration booth and released a sigh of relief when you were told you’d be sitting with your family. Immediately as you found your seats, your mom wasted no time pulling you and Jinyoung in for hugs; and whispering how beautiful you looked and how Jinyoung only became more and more handsome every time she saw him. 
A lot has changed since you left your small town to pursue your extraordinary dreams. You had seen them a couple of times in the last year during the holiday season or when they travelled up to see you during the summer time. Even if you were more than happy to finally experience marriage and what it would feel like to be Mrs.Park Jinyoung, you felt as if your mom was more excited than you were if it was even possible. Most mothers couldn’t wait for the day that their daughters get proposed to; especially to someone as attractive, hardworking and exuberantly outgoing like your soon-to-be husband.
You still had to get used to the idea that you were only months away from becoming a married woman. Watching BamBam and his wife look at each other as if they were the only two people there in the room made your heart flutter. You were glad BamBam found someone who would love him and take good care of him the way he never failed to do so with everyone in his life; the way he did with you for the entire duration of your friendship. 
Both you and Jinyoung were too busy having a conversation about what your plans for the rest of the week were going to be that you failed to notice the way everyone in your family turned their heads towards the entrance. Whenever you would talk with your fiancé, nobody else could grab your attention even if they tried. You were so in love with him; your world revolved around the handsome man gazing at you with the most adoring look in his eyes as you talked about driving to San Fransisco and visiting the Golden Gate Bridge. 
Just like the way BamBam looked at his wife, you were sure the way you and Jinyoung looked at one another mirrored your best friend’s tender stare. Honestly you would have continued pretending as if you and Jinyoung weren’t surrounded by all these people if it wasn’t for him adverting his gaze towards the direction everyone seemed to be looking in. 
Curiosity got the best of you and you decided to see what your family seemed to be so interested in. Once the couple came in to sight however, you wished you kept to yourself and ignored the way your mom’s look of disgust. 
Four years. 
It’s been four years since you last saw him. Four years since he told you he didn’t want to wait for you. Four years since he decided your relationship wasn’t worth fight for. It took almost an entire year for you to completely get over your relationship. Hell, it’s been four years yet you were still wondering how he was doing. What he looked like, whether or not he was in a relationship, what career he decided to pursue—if he ever regretted giving up on you so easily—if he missed you the way you missed him. 
You’d be lying if you said you haven’t thought about him at least once in the last couple of weeks. Honestly, you thought about him every single day and it made you feel guilty because you were engaged. You had someone else; someone who loved you more than life itself. Someone who gave you the world on a silver platter and made you feel like the only girl in the entire world. What you and Mark had was an experimental relationship; puppy love. 
At the time, you thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to you—that he was the most amazing and wonderful human being in the entire world. Then he broke your heart in to a million pieces and left your world crumbling down, as if it was the easiest thing to do. He never once considered your feelings; only thought about his needs, his desires, his dreams—what he wanted. 
Mark was an immature and selfish person; he had yet to learn that love and relationships were a two person job. Relationships are between two people; if he really loved you the way you knew with your heart that you loved him, he would have fought for you and let you do your thing knowing that you’d come back to him. This was it—you knew it was going to happen sooner or later tonight, but you weren’t as ready as you probably thought you would have been. Your stomach sank at the sight of him. 
Time always seemed to be in his favor; if you thought he was exceedingly handsome back in high school, he was an even bigger sight for sore eyes now at the prime age of twenty-four. His features only grew more prominent; his lips that you used to love kissing so much were plumper—more fuller. His chubby cheeks that you’d find yourself unable to stop pinching out of habit no longer existed. His hair was longer; back in high school he cut it at least once a month because he never wanted it to pass his ears, but now it was almost down to the back of his neck. He might have been wearing a suit, but you could tell he has been working out by the way his suit was like a second skin; the outline of his biceps were prominent and it made your head spin. 
As much as you felt like you could continue staring at him and analyzing how much he’s changed in the last four years, your eyes just so happened to land on the body next to him. Whoever the woman was to him—she was beautiful. There was no doubt about it. She had a petite frame; he hovered over her almost by a foot, but their height difference was actually kind of cute. She also had long, wavy hair and a glow that you felt was the cause of the bump she was sporting. It didn’t take a genius to know that she was pregnant; her maternity dress alone gave it away. 
She had to be at least four or five months pregnant and for some reason, it felt like a stab to your chest—but why did it matter? Mark was no longer the man who owned your heart nor was he the one who deserved it. Maybe it was the teenager in you—the one who was madly in love with Mark that was upset to see someone else living out the life that you should have been. Most people would still consider eighteen “too young” to actually understand what love is and to plan out their futures; but even then, when you would look at Mark, you knew he was the one you wanted to be the father of your children. 
Every time you would hang out or sleep over at his house, you witnessed the way he interacted with his three nieces. Those little girls meant the world to him. He never failed to give them his full attention and did whatever it was that they asked of him without complaining. He always talked about having a big family one day and you knew how much he loved kids. You knew why your mom was so upset; she had to hear you cry every single day for four months straight over your breakup. 
She saw how much pain you had to suffer through once Mark let you go. You obviously weren’t the same person you were all those years ago; heartbreak did that to people. Although she actually really liked Mark and approved of your relationship back then, she no longer had anything nice to say about him. Poor Jinyoung looked so confused; in the three years that you’ve been together for, not once have you ever told him about Mark. It didn’t seem necessary because he was no longer involved in your life anyway and he was in the past. If you continued to bring him up, it would just show that you still cared about him and even if you did, you didn’t want anyone else to know that. 
Especially not your fiancé. But you knew he was going to ask you about it; the man who had your entire table’s attention had to be someone important. A huge part of you wanted to come up with an excuse to leave; it didn’t matter that he and his significant other were seated at a table on the complete opposite side of the room, knowing he was there, that he was in a relationship and that he was months away from being a father made you physically sick. You were now feeling so dizzy and you hated that even after all these years and all the pain and distress he put you through, his presence still had a huge effect on you. 
“Hey, I’ll be right back.” 
Your fiancé looked up at you in curiosity and began to stand up himself out of worry, but you gave him a reassuring smile and motioned for him to stay put. If Jinyoung was anything, it was observant. He had a feeling that you must’ve have known Mark and he couldn’t stop the voice in his head from taunting him with the idea that maybe Mark was an ex of some sorts. He wanted to believe that you wouldn’t keep such an important detail of your life like that from him; your relationship was full of trust and all he really wanted from you was honesty and loyalty. 
However, he didn’t want to force you in to telling him something you didn’t want to. If you didn’t tell him about your past relationships, it was for a reason and as he watched your facial expression; your now furrowed brows and pursed lips, he was well aware that Mark was obviously the reason. 
“I just have to use the bathroom, I’ll be quick.” You placed a chaste peck on his lips and hoped that he wasn’t watching you walk in the opposite way of the bathroom. You needed a breather—it was too much for your mind to process and honestly for you to take in. This might have been BamBam’s big night, but you were now growing angry with him. 
He had to know; even if Mark didn’t straight out tell him that he was seeing someone else let alone about to be a father, you were sure it had to be on social media somewhere. As your best friend, he should have been upfront and said something. Even if BamBam didn’t want to hurt you with the news, you would’ve felt better knowing months before hand. But maybe he felt like if you knew, you wouldn’t have came to the wedding. You were minutes away from telling Jinyoung that it was time to go. 
There was no way you would even be able to pretend that you were fine. The chilly breeze was quick to poke at your skin as soon as you made your way outside. California was always freezing in the nighttime when winter was approaching. You wouldn’t have been surprised to hear that it was only 40 degrees out—but you were too frustrated to even care that you could get hypothermia. Why didn’t you think about taking Jinyoung’s blazer? 
One thing you missed about California since you’ve been gone was the sky; it was always so pretty at night. You could see so many stars fill up the entirety of it and it was never too dark which you enjoyed. The longer you continued to breathe in and out while looking up at the moon, you could slowly feel yourself relaxing. Unfortunately, your little moment alone was soon interrupted by the last person you wanted to see at all tonight. 
“Hey. I thought I saw you come out here.” 
You could feel yourself choking up at the sound of his voice; it was much deeper than what it was back in high school. Chills were sent down your spine and it wasn’t because of the freezing weather. God, you missed his voice. Mark had such a calming and soothing voice; you would listen to him talk for hours on end if you could. Sometimes, you would have him read books to you specifically because you wanted to hear him talk. Right now though, you wanted him to leave. 
Being around him was suffocating. You allowed yourself a few seconds to prepare yourself for when you were to actually face him; if seeing him from far away was already driving you to the brink of insanity, what more when he was in close proximity of you? Once you finally turned around, you could feel your heart rate increase. From afar, he already looked so breathtaking, but looking at him just two feet away made you appreciate his dark, and gorgeous features. You contemplated on bolting away and you didn’t care if it was rude. This man showed you what love was only to take it away from you before you could actually appreciate it for what it was. You were sure you hated him; but seeing him right now—you weren’t as confident with your hatred. 
“Yeah. It was getting a little too crowded in there. I just—wanted to be alone.” Hopefully he took the hint and left you to it; but Mark—as much as he was smart wasn’t all that bright. Whenever you asked him to do one thing, he would manage to do the complete opposite; this situation was no different. 
“How have you been? You look very beautiful tonight—I mean, you are always so beautiful, but—tonight I just—wow.” 
Was he being serious right now? Why did he think after all these years of not talking to each other and pretending one another didn’t exist that he should have started your first conversation with complementing you? He had to have drank at least a couple of drinks; he was out of his mind. 
“Thanks—you don’t look too bad yourself. I’ve been good. Thank you for asking.” Your interaction with him was the definition of awkward. The tension in the air was so thick, you could cut it with a knife and you wanted it to end before questions or even confessions were brought up. 
“So uh—I actually saw you on the dance floor earlier—um—is that your boyfriend?” 
You wanted to laugh out of hysteria. Was he really your best friend for almost four years and your boyfriend for almost one? His face was one that would be instilled in the back of your mind forever, yet you felt like you were looking at a stranger. Why did he feel like it was the right thing to come out here and talk to you? You didn’t plan on having any interaction with him at all tonight, so why did he ruin your plans of avoiding him? 
“He’s my fiancé.” 
The silence that came right after your confession was unexpected. Why did it matter who Jinyoung was to you? Sure, you wanted to know what the woman was to Mark when you first saw them walk in together, but you no longer cared. He moved on and so did you. You were going to leave it at that. You didn’t fail to notice the way his jaw clenched and so did his fists—however, you didn’t understand why. It’s been at least ten minutes since you left the table; so you could only hope Jinyoung would come looking for you soon and take you away from this mess. 
“Congratulations—you look very happy—I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you.”
“He does. I am. Very happy. He’s an amazing fiancé. Thank you. What about you? I saw your—wife? Girlfriend? Congratulations on the pregnancy.” 
It felt like venom on your tongue; congratulating him on something you weren’t too thrilled about—but you didn’t have the right to be jealous. You both lived separate lives with two different lovers. It was evident the two of you were no longer the two crazy high schoolers that thought the world was theirs for the taking. You were both grown adults now on two different paths. What he did and the decisions he made no longer concerned you. 
“Thanks. She’s uh—my—girlfriend.” 
The last word seemed forced, as if he didn’t want you to know who she was or what he labeled their relationship. What did he have to hide though? She was practically a basketball and he came to the wedding with her in tow. Who else could she be if not his partner? You wouldn’t bring a random pregnant lady with you to your friend’s wedding if she didn’t mean something to you. With the tiniest bit of confidence building up in your veins, you spoke up with every intention on returning back to the party.
“Look, it was nice seeing you again—but I really should get going—“
“Please don’t marry him.” 
Your eyes widened in shock at his words. There was no way he was just drunk—he had to be high on some kind of illegal drug. Was he honestly being serious right now? Did you hear correctly, or was being around him making you imagine things. What the hell was wrong with him? 
“Mark what the fuck—“
“I made a mistake. A fucking huge and extremely stupid mistake and I’ve never regretted anything more in my life than when I ended our relationship. I’m so fucking sorry y/n. I was stupid and immature then—I shouldn’t have broken up with you. I should have tried harder for you. I should have actually thought about what would happen if I were to lose you. If only I knew how lucky I was back then to have you—I wouldn’t be seconds away from socking your fiancé in the face, but this is all my fault. That should be my ring on your finger y/n. This should’ve been our fucking wedding damnit. I didn’t realize just how much I loved you and how much I missed you until you were no longer mine to care about. I never told you this and fuck—if only I wasn’t so stubborn and so selfish, but you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I haven’t been happy in the last four years and it’s because my heart is so empty. I wanted to call you; to beg you to forgive me—to tell you that not a day went by that I didn’t think of you or wished that things went differently, but I didn’t think I had the ability nor the right to—“
“Oh and you do now? Honestly Mark, what the fuck is wrong with you? I’m engaged to be married in a few months and you’re about to be a father. What made you think that confessing something like that was appropriate huh? That’s disrespectful to your girlfriend, to my fiancé and damnit—to me! Especially me! You don’t realize how much seeing you is fucking ruining me right now do you?! I didn’t want to care; I wanted to pretend that seeing your girlfriend pregnant doesn’t bother me but it does and I hate that it does. You ruined my life Mark. You broke my fucking heart because you were such a pathetic and immature boy. You don’t know what you’re saying. What we had—it wasn’t significant at all. We were kids! We had no idea what love was but now I do know and it’s because of the man sitting inside with my family. I love Park Jinyoung and he loves me—in the ways you never could. What we had is in the past. It’s never going to happen ever again Mark. I don’t know what kind of response you expected from me—but this is it. What? Did you think I was going to fall for that pathetic and poor excuse of an apology? I’m not the same girl I was when I first met you. Our break up made me realize my self-worth; I used to think I wasn’t enough for you to want to fight for me. To want to stay and live out our lives together. It took countless nights crying over you and drinking multiple bottles of wine to get rid of any thought of Mark Tuan to get me to come to the conclusion that it was you who didn’t deserve me. Jinyoung saved my life—he saved me from the monster you created after dropping me like I was nothing. I’m done—I have nothing left to say to you. If we didn’t have to come here tonight, I probably would have never heard from you anyway so you should have let it stay that way.” 
There had to be tears falling down your cheeks; your face was hot and you could feel your chest heaving out of frustration. For years, those words of anger have been building up and it felt like a ton of weight was finally lifted off of your shoulders. You said what you wanted to and you were sure there was more he wanted to admit, but you weren’t going to take any more of it. 
“There you are. I thought I saw you come out here, I’ve been looking for you everywhere baby—BamBam is looking for you. Babe? Y/n, everything alright? Why are you crying? Oh—Hi. I’m Jinyoung, y/n’s fiancé.” 
Although you didn’t want Jinyoung having to see you breaking down, especially while with another man; one you were sure he knew who he was to you, you were glad he was there. It was weird watching your fiancé reach his hand out for Mark to shake. Even if Jinyoung now knew that Mark was your ex and that he was the reason you were so upset, he was never the type to be rude or disrespectful towards someone he just met. 
Mark however, continued standing there and ignored his polite gesture like a jerk. Thankfully, Jinyoung took no offense and just retracted his hand before intertwining it with yours. “We should start returning back to our table y/n—It was nice meeting you.” You allowed your fiancé to pull you away and you didn’t even spare Mark a glance; you were too eager to get away from him before you could ruin your makeup and your night even more so. 
“You don’t have to tell me anything baby, just—do you think you’re going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Did you want to leave? We don’t have to go back to the hotel just yet. If you want to just drive around or go pick up some junk food, we can do that. I just really hate seeing you cry—unless it’s cries of pleasure—there we go. I knew I could get a smile out of you. I’ll do whatever it is that you want to do my love. Just say the word.”
“I love you Park Jinyoung. I don’t tell you as much as I should, but I do. So fucking much.” He gave you a cheeky grin and placed s gentle kiss on your nose. 
“I love you too y/n and I plan on loving you for the rest of my life. As much as I want to continue celebrating the newlyweds, let’s get you out of here.”
You've been busy That's okay I still can't wait to be Home for the summer We won't have to work so we're gonna Do whatever the hell we wanna 'Cause we know that one day we'll be Gone from each other We'll have lives in two different suburbs We'll have families with different lovers But for now, I know I'll see you when we're Home for the summer
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iwannaholdyoutight- · 4 years
Text
SUNLIGHT
Summary: Welcome to Mattina ed Estasi, an art gallery dedicated to show the art of seduction. This story is dedicated to the discover of true sex.
A/n: each day has a painting, please click on the link, likes and reblogged are love and if you come talk to me about it: I’ll love you forever. Please read end notes, it’s important
Find my masterlist HERE
Find the Pinterest page for this fic HERE
Somewhere in Italy, 1978…..
Day 1: Mattina ed Estasi https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Painting-Extasy/300907/4211239/view
Lavignia was going to have a syncope. She was sure of it. It was hot, hotter than any other summer she has ever lived in her 25 years of life upon this earth. Her pink loose dress was sticking like glue because of the heat and she was late for her first day at the new job.
Fucking amazing, right?
The bus was late and then she got lost because she should have turned right but she took a left and her Italian isn’t amazing enough to understand what the old lady was trying to explain her, she was speaking too fast and Lav was far too nervous to concentrate. 
But finally she saw the brick walls built in an elegant way. She saw the big stained glass with the mermaid. She had finally found Mattina ed Estasi, or “morning and ecstasy” in English. This is going to be her new job - new home- for at least the next 18 months (that was what the contract said, at least). 
Having graduated just a year ago from the University of Coimbrã with a major in arts and communication, Lavignia found herself without a job and without the possibility of asking for her folks to help since they didn’t want her to go to college at all (she had one job and that was to marry well…. and that’s clearly not what she did). 
But a friend of a friend told her one night about this gallery in Italy that needed someone to work there. This person had to speak English, to communicate with all of the tourist and had to know a lot about art. 
Thank god she knew both. 
Packing her bags, she dished her job at the bar and went to Italy on the morning train all the way from France. With all of her articles about art and the hope of a brand new start. 
Taking a deep breath she walked through the doors, coming face to face with a tall red head: “you must be Vanessa! Mrs. Lovelace told me you would be here. 
She was nervous, feeling short when standing side by side with this gorgeous woman. Her hair all messy from the wind and heat. But Vanessa, with a freckled face and very blue eyes, opened a smile and refused her hand shake, going for a hug. 
“Hello, Lavignia. Yes, Mrs. Lovelace has told me all about you, she seemed excited, she loved your article about the art movements as protest  against the military coups in Latin-America.” 
“I’m glad. And please, call me Lav” 
“Of course. Ready to begin our training?”
They started to walk around the gallery. An intimate space with golden artificial lights, a crew of men was working with all of the artwork for the new exposition: “Love and Sex”. 
“What do you know about our new work? I just need to know everything you were told so I can help you with the rest” 
“Well, I received a lot of books to study the theme on the last few days. Love and Sex is all about the the raw emotions of the human body, showing how much they are alike but also not so different. One complements the other but at the same time you can have sex without feeling in  love, and you can fall in love and not have sex.” She could feel the embarrassment from talking so much about this subject with someone she barely knows but since it was about art becomes more acceptable. 
“Yes. You are very correct. We are getting pieces from the renaissance era till the new paining by erotic artist Joan Semmel, our biggest conquest of this is actually her painting “Sunlight”, but Harry still has to bring that one”
“Nice. But who is Harry?” 
“Oh, didn’t Mrs. Lovelace told you about the owners of the shop?” 
Lavignia shook her head in a negative but said “only that she was one of them.”
“We have three owners. The first one is Jeannie Lovelace”  the one who interviewed Lavignia just 5 days before. She was around her late sixties, beautiful long silver hair and blue eyes. Very elegant lady always using nice bell pants and white shirts. “Well, first, never call her Mrs. Lovelace to her face, she doesn’t like being treated like she is elite, even if she is. Some people say that on her younger days she had an affair with Duke Elligton, can you imagine?” 
They laughed together, this beautiful old lady must have so much to tell if given the opportunity . 
“Anyway, she was the founding mother of this beautiful gallery. She never got married so her true love is art. She founded this gallery back in 1961 with the money she inherited from her father company back in the U.S”. 
“Nice. There is two others right?” She said while pointing to a board with the story of the gallery “This Harry you just told me about and Jesse right?” 
“Yes. Let me start with the worse: Jesse Fire. Firstly, I’m pretty sure that’s not his real name. He’s this elite lawyer and a jackass with everyone he doesn’t find worthy of his time. He only puts money on this gallery because it’s a good investment and makes him have a “intelectual image” for the tabloids. Don’t worry too much about him but if he ever appears just try to not talk to him, and you’ll be fine. He is on holiday and won’t return for another three months. And he lives in Rome, so even when he’s in the country he comes here only for big openings and our parties. We are all safe.” 
She opened a huge smile 
“Now, let’s talk about the last one: Harry. Do you happen to know H.E Styles?” 
“You mean the erotic poet and composer? The one people are always talking about his sexual escapades and charming ways” 
“That one. Well… that’s Harry. I mean, we all know Harry made his money with art and he likes to spend his money with more art. Shocking, right? He has the biggest collection of sensual masterpieces. From paintings to sculptures and even vintage sex toys: he has it all. Actually this exhibition was his idea. The main pieces will have a poem by him attached to it.” 
“And how many pieces are we hoping for?”
“Around 10. He’s going to write new poems for the main events, inspired by a few of the art pieces and will release a book at the end of everything. And that’s the reason why we still don’t have the painting by Semmel. He is struggling with that one and took home last Friday and promised to bring here today. 
“And it’s not here today” said a raspy slow voice from the back door. He was using a blue chiffon shirt almost completely  unbuttoned with a pair of high waisted white jeans and a glittery boot, with heels that gave him at least 3 inches more. “I am so glad to see my favorite red hair today. It was a tuff weekend” 
He got closer and she could finally see his face: green eyes, beautiful wavy brown hair and a nice crooked smile with dimples just to make it more adorable. And he had a mustache. Lav absolutely hates mustaches, but if it’s this handsome fellow that has one…. she wouldn’t complain. 
“What happened? Couldn’t find inspiration again?” Vanessa said while touching his arm. Of course a guy that hot would go for a girl like Nessa. They looked like a power couple together. 
“First I thought I could get inspiration if I could just stare at the painting. But it didn’t work so I called Daniel and Melissa, maybe with a fun three way party I could feel inspired, wrong. Then yesterday, I thought “maybe I need to see the world with different eyes” so I popped a few acid tablets… didn’t work. So now I’m here, on a Monday morning, asking you PLEASE let me have the painting for a few more days” 
It was too much information for Lav to take, in three days he had done more than she has done her whole life. That made her feel quite uneasy. 
“That depends, Styles… will you borrow your beach house for the summer so I can have my honeymoon with Cathy there?” 
Oh, she has a fiancée, thought Lavignia, how silly could she be, thinking they were a couple. 
“I was already going to offer you this and you know it. But of course, my Calihouse is yours for the time you want it for your honeymoon” he finally locked eyes with the brunette who was feeling like an outsider listening to private conversation: “and who is this Dove? Is she the new curator you and Lovelace were talking about?” 
“Yes, Lavignia this is Harry. Harry this is Lavignia” 
 She gave him an awkward smile. 
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Styles”
She raised her hand to shook his that was already reaching out for her. But, instead of a shake, he took her hand and before giving a kiss he whispered to her hand “please, call me Harry.” He kissed her hand and let her hand go, using the tips of his fingers to caress her arm on the way down from its previous position. 
“She is actually going to create the sequence for the pieces and the artistic and historical explanation of the pieces from the the exhibition”. 
“I thought I was going to write this” 
“Yeah but she has the technical knowledge. So you are going to look at the art, find a meaning behind and she is going to write the explanation for the techniques and whatsoever and to the presentationwould be interesting if you guys worked together” 
That’s when it hit Lavignia: they had 6 days till the opening and absolutely zero idea of what they were going to produce. 
“Wait….. we have six days to plan this whole thing?”  
Harry laughed. 
“Yes, we have done a lot but still, we have a lot do. Right now the focus is to create a storyline to exhibit everything and it has to go well with the main theme. Welcome to our gallery” he said with a smile. “But I’m sure it’s going to be an easy job. Because love and sex are so inherent to the human being” 
That wasn’t going to be an easy job. She didn’t know much about love or sex. 
.
After their conversation, the day was just a blurry memory: checking the pieces, looking for articles and references about each one. Harry would once in a while come and check on Lav, ask her if she wanted anything and sometimes he would just look at her, like he was trying to memorize her face. 
It was already 7 pm and Lav and Nessa were getting their stuff to leave when Harry came up to talk to them: 
“Girls, Lovelace just called the office and asked if we want to have dinner at her place. I’m going, care to join?” 
“I can’t, have to meet Cathy. We have a dinner date to try and finally find a date that is good to get married” said Nessa “but I think it would be good for Lav so she can get a feel about how we work” 
“I can give you a ride if you want” Harry offered with a sweet smile, putting both of his hands on the reception table and getting closer to her face. 
“Uh, sure. Let me just get the rest of my stuff” 
“Sure, I’m waiting outside” 
Vanessa was looking down at her with cheeky eyes and knowing smile: “you are going to have the best fuck of your life” Lav eyes grew wide “oh me and my fiancée once had a threesome with Harry. A one time thing but didn’t he gave us the ride of our lives” 
“There will be no fu… mingling with the boss for me. Thank you very much” Lavignia said while getting the rest of her stuff and walking away with heavy steps and wide angry eyes. She was already out of the door but she could still listen to Vanessa’s laughter. 
She started looking for a nice and extravagant car but what she found was Harry leaning on a very red Harley Davidson. Picking at his nails, tearing off the nail polish in the process. 
“Hey. Ready?” She was shaking she had never walked on a motorcycle. 
“Kinda. Never been on a motorcycle before” 
“What a pleasure to be the your first ride then” Harry said giving her a blinking eye and a mischievous smile. “First let’s  put this thing on you” he got closer to her with a blue helmet with silver stars in hand. 
First he caressed her messy curls and then slided the helmet on her head, never taking his green eyes off of her: “you look perfect with this on, like you belonged on a fast ride, just like this ride I’m going to give you” 
She didn’t know how to answer that, she could just blush. 
“Let’s go?”  Nodding with her hand and getting onto the bike with Harry, Lavignia had this nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach: it burned. Every single time he turned a left she would end up brushing her front against his back that was covered by the thin blue shirt. She never felt this spark before, almost like something in her body was screaming for the feel of him. Maybe was the fact they spent the day in the middle of sensual pieces of arts, maybe was the fact that the smell of vanilla on his neck made her think of sex.
And she never thought of sex, never understanding what was the appeal to showcase something it was supposed to be so intimate, and he didn’t have any filter when it comes to it. Maybe the almost 4 years without someone between her legs have finally got her and she was going crazy.
After it felt like an eternity in a war with her own thoughts, they came to a stop on a small circle park with 5 houses surrounding the area . All of them were big and out of a art decor movie. They came to a stop in front of one of the houses: this one was yellow with high walls and a lot of plants all over the entrance. 
“This is Jeannie Lovelace house. My house is the other one on the other side of the park” Harry finally said, without taking his helmet off, pointing towards a house with a bright orange tone to it with rounded windows and a balcony that was exposed for the street, full red roses. “She is already expecting us, you can go inside, I’m just gonna drop my bike at my house. Do you live close?”
“No, I live close to the beach, close to that souvenir shop, you know? It’s about 30 bus stops from the gallery.”
“You can stay at my place, if you want” he said in a normal tone but a sparkle was found inside his eyes, maybe she wasn’t the only one that was left shook from their little trip standing so close together.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea” she could admire him, but she couldn't touch. She only knew him for a few hours but she knew it was trouble. And maybe her tone was quite condescending because Harry changed his posture and stopped smiling and just pronounced a small and guilty “okay” before driving towards his house, acting almost like he was feeling shameful. Before Knocking on the door there was only one thing in her mind: this was going to be an extressfull dinner. 
.
Day 2: Woman with the black stockings 
(Painting they talk about: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Schiele_-_Frau_mit_schwarzen_Strümpfen_-_1913.jpg )
“Darling, wake up” she could feel Jeannie elegant voice talking quietly “it’s almost 9, if you want to be on time to your meeting with Harry, you have to wake up now”
Meeting? When did she and Harry settled a meeting hour? Lav’s last memory was from getting another glass of the green drink because she was quite overwhelmed with the conversation topics. She didn’t even knew there was so much it could be talked about sex.
“Sorry” she said getting up “my head is killing me. Thank you for letting me crash here, I don’t even remember how I made it to this bed” she looked around, being in a big room with with walls and drawing of flowers all over it, Lovelace was standing right next to her holding a plate full of food. 
“Oh, darling there is nothing to be sorry for. You should thank Harry, he was the one who carried you over here” she said while settling the plate on her lap “but a little piece of advice? When it comes to absint you don’t drink more than 3 shots, now eat. Do you remember what we talked about last night?”
Oh God, she didn’t want to hear all of that AGAIN but she had to be honest: “after my third glass my mind is just a blackout. I’m so embarrassed”she said while getting the beautiful croissant and taking a bite of it and it was so good “You only know me for two days, you are my BOSS and I made a complete fool of myself”
“Again: nothing to be sorry for, everybody in the gallery is like family to me. Not counting Jesse, he is just someone that gives us money…. think of him like the awful uncle that everybody has to deal with” laughing at her own joke  “We just talked about the opening then me and Harry stared to exchange stories… that was when you started to drink a little too much.”
“I just… I hope this doesn’t get me fired but, you all just treat sex like it isn’t an act it should be kept in your bed and I got nervous yesterday with the topics of the conversation once we stopped talking business and especially Harry I mean…. I met him when he was talking about a menage he had in search for inspiration to write about an art piece” She said with open eyes and exasperated sigh
“Lavignia, sweetie, you know that this gallery is about sex right? We showcase pieces with a sensual and sexual background. Also we hold parties, books reading, music. Look at the name we gave it: MORNING AND EXTASE”
“Oh god, I’m so sorry Mrs. Lovelace, when we talked you only told me about this exposee we are doing and I thought that was it. I know that sensuality and art are two themes that often come together but ….”
“There is no problem, Lavignia” she said in a more serious tone, yeah, Lav was out of a job only on her second day, she was sure of it. “Look, I was so ecstatic to have someone with your resume that I only talked about what we are working on right now. Can I ask you something? Give us a chance, please? Especially Harry, he is a sweet guy who lives and feels everything, he gives himself whole in everything: art, friendship, love, sex. I wish I could have met someone like him when I was younger, I would be married, maybe.” She said with a sweet smile “When we are over with the planning of this, if you wish, you can let us go. But try and immerse yourself with us, there is more to the world than ‘waking up, growing old and dying’. If at the end of this you don’t wanna stay, I will find you a job at the most traditional art gallery. But, give us a chance, there is something behind your eyes that longs for something, I can see it, let us show you there is no shame in living.”
Looking at her hands, Laviginia thought about how she was never satisfied, leaving her parents home when they wanted her to get married to their neighbor, going to college in another country, then going to Paris to find a job and failing and now having this big opportunity in her hands: she couldn’t say no; so she nodded and got a big hug from the elegant old lady.
“Now, I asked Harry to get you a few clothes ‘cause I figured you wouldn’t want to be another entire day with the same ones.  He is already here with the clothes I’m going to get it for you. Take a shower. We’ll be waiting for you in the living room” Jeannie said getting up from her sitting down position in bed but before she could reached the door she turned to Lav and said “and another thing: don’t ever call me Mrs again, either Jeannie or Lovelace. Okay?” and with that she left the room and Lav went to shower, knowing she had a chance in her hands and the only person who could mess this chance up. 
.
After taking her shower Lavignia came back to the room to find not only clothes but shoes and underwear and even a perfume, on top there was a note: 
Lovelace would not forgive me if I got you clothes and didn’t bought you a perfume. According to her a woman is naked without a scent. I hope I got the sizing right. 
H.
PS: I would love to see you wearing the lingerie, this one was all Jeannie. 
Of course he would said something like that. The clothes consisted of a black mini dress with red little hearts and a high turtleneck, together with black boots and a thigh high black stockings. The lingerie was pretty, a set with a bright cherry color made of  lace and satin. She loved looking at the mirror using such a beautiful piece, there was something about her she didn’t knew it could be achievable: she looked quite sensual. She felt like she was Twiggy herself (even if she didn’t look at all like Twiggy).
Last but not least: the perfume. It was Paris by YSL and it smelled like richness and sex. Of course he wouldn’t give any less than something like this. But she couldn’t lie, she was grateful for him, Lav knew she was quite harsh to him just the night before with her judgmental looks and words, but even then he got out of this way to help someone he only knew for 24 hours. 
Getting down the stairs she could ear the light tone of their conversation, something about “opening yourself for love”, it seems like Lav was not the only one that was getting a preach from the one and only Jeannie Lovelace. 
With the sound of her footsteps getting closer, Harry turned around and smiled: “glad I got the sizing right. You look nice.” He was getting up and so was Jeannie
“I’m going to give you guys a ride and then I’m picking Nessa up, we are going to the train station”
“I thought we all were working together today” Harry said while walking side by side with both women toward the backdoor that lead to the garage. Jeannie gave them both a big smile:
“Early this morning I got the news: We got the Corregio” in that moment Harry lifted Jeannie up and started to kiss her cheeks while saying “I knew you could do it”.
Antonio da Corregio was an painter from the italian renaissance, being able to get one of his pieces to put on display outside from its home museum in Viena was almost impossible . Lav was looking at the interaction and saw it for the first time: Lovelace saw Harry like a son. They were a little happy family. What she didn’t expect was Harry to put Jeannie down and take her into his arms, giving a big hug and involving her in his smell all over again. 
“Now, let’s go kids. You two have to analyse the Schiele piece and me and Vanessa have a date with Corregio”. And so they left in a very lilac mercedes. 
.
Laviginia couldn’t stop sweating, she was standing side by side with Harry in front of a big painting of a woman sitting down, pushing her skirt up so she could show all of her private parts. With very red lips and nipples and black stockings, very similar to the ones Harry got her, and from his face, she was sure it was not a mere coincidence.
“What do you think we should do with this one?” Harry asked
“I think every piece of art tells a story and we have to discuss about this piece, what story does it tells us” Lav said getting away from the painting and closer to the books she had spread all over the table, looking for her bookmarks about Egon Shiele  and any piece of information about his painting The woman with black stockings.  She looked over at Harry and he looked relaxed with his with long sleeve shirt full of drawings on the sleeves and blue jeans. He was calm while waiting for her to tell him about whatever piece of information she found on the books. Her mind was going crazy, she was sweating through all of her pores, there was the same unfamiliar warmth in the pit of her stomach and there was Harry, changing his attention between her and the naked woman like they were talking about the weather. Finally she found the information she was looking for in one of the many bookmarks she made “This dates back to 1913, he got arrested countless time because of his art…”
“It’s ridiculous being arrested for making his art, especially one so intimate but I understand the time but so be it, I hate it when people make sex such a taboo. But please, continue with what you were telling me”
Cleaning her throat, she continued “according to this the reason behinds his arrests were his nude and semi-nude portrayals of his lovers. It also says those portrayls are so beguiling is quite simple: they have a filth quality to it. He likes to portrait his adoration towards woman and sex”
“Wow, that’s probably the most of dirty talk you have ever made in your life, I’m proud you got to reading all of this only blushing a bit” he looked at her with kind eyes and a smirk gracing his beautiful rosé lips “Okay, he wants to show devotion and rawness to it, right? There is this gorgeous woman spread open for him, longing for him as I hope he was longing to get between her legs and get so deep they don’t know when one ends and the other begins. I think that the theme of this is want, is the disinhibition, not being ashamed of wanting something that is so good” Lav felt like he was talking about her and not the painting “He has a dirty mind freakness, doesn’t only show people what he is seeing, he shows us his desire and let us get into his intimate for one reason: he painted his lovers, people he knew from inside out, people who must have some meaning to him. The fact that he can put together adoration and the most primal act of the human race, takes his art from merely beautiful to widely erotic”
“What does it feel like?” she asked him “being able to see and feel and talk about this without feeling like it’s wrong? Being able to let yourself go”
Harry looked at her and she had no idea what his face was telling her. He was sitting on the floor and pated the place in front of him in a silence request for her to join him. She sat in front of him, folding her legs and looking him in the eye
“I always felt like there was more to life than the one I was leading on, you know? My family came from money, but everything just felt the same, so one day, as soon as I turned 18, I went to Los Angeles, that was 10 years ago, ending of the 60s and beginning of the 70s, David Bowie was still becoming what he is now, Beatles had just broken up Fleetwood Mac didn’t have Stevie Nicks. There I met people who showed me more and more of living and then I started writing, becoming myself. It was with my art that made my own money and got kind of famous but I never actually showed my face to magazines till  I came to Italy when I heard that the gallery wasn’t doing very well, offered to help and I gained a second mother in Lovelace, she was there for me all the time and she was the first one to tell me that I didn’t have to be ashamed of who I was, if I like a bit of everything or if I dress quite flamboyant or anything.” Harry smiled “ That’s what she wants for everybody: have a fulfilling life like hers, without any fears. It’s all a learning you know, one day at the time, you get there.” Harry took her hand and gave it a kiss “tomorrow we’ll all be together to look at the Corregio, you can talk about whatever you are feeling, I promise you: no one is going to judge you.”
“You know it would be nice to just be able to talk about this without feeling like I’m going to hell and I don’t even believe there is a hell.”
“If hell is full of people who don’t care about labels and know how to have fun… I don’t wanna go to heaven “ Harry smiled “but you know, I’m a GREAT teacher, I would love to teach you how to be less awkward when it comes to the theme, after all you are working for a gallery about sex”
“I’m not having sex with you”
“God, Lav, don’t be such a pervert, I was talking about being less shy when it comes to talking about it. Come on repeat with me ‘fuck me’ without blushing”
“Fuck me”
“No, fuck me” 
“Fuck me” 
“No”
“Fuck me”
“Finally! That’s my girl.” Harry said giving a peck to her nose. “Now, how about we go eat a nice gelato, my treat. Then we can come back to talk about the painting”
.
Day 3: Jupiter and Aphrodite
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fb/Correggio_028c.jpg
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fb/Correggio_028c.jpg
“I crave your mouth, you voice, your hair/ Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets/ Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day/ I hunt for the the liquid measure of your steps” the words from the poem left Harry’s mouth like honey. When they both arrived early to the gallery, Harry sat on the floor with a poetry book and asked if she wanted him to read for him. “I hunger for you sleek laugh/ your hands the color of savage harvest/ hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails/ I want to eat your skin like a whole almond”
When Harry said that sentence he stopped briefly and looked at Lavignia, wanting to see her reaction. He didn’t choose that poem with no intend, he wanted her to see how sexuality and love could be show on poem, with such a easy passion, no shame. She was looking right at the pearls he was wearing around his neck, thinking he didn’t noticed the way she was staring at his chest and necklace, he licked his lips and continued: “I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body/ the sovereign of your arrogant face/ I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes.
The more Harry read, the more Lavignia was imagining he was doing all the the things quoted, adoring her body with such hunger, she was thanking God that he was close to finish his reading: “And I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight/ Haunting for you, for your hot heart/ Like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue” He closed the book and looked at her:” so, that was the Love Sonnet XI by Pablo Neruda, what do you think of it?”
“It’s beautiful”
“Only beautiful? What do you feel when you listen to those words. Erotism can also come in form of beautiful words, to show those feelings and to have them returned are a bliss, if is a one night or a lifetime.”
She wanted to be like him, like everybody she met during those 3 days, so she trying to raise her voice and finally say something:
“I feel hunger. Hunger for life. I don’t want to feel like it’s wrong to desire someone”
Harry got closer to her, almost touching their knees together. The moment he walked through the door last monday he was captivated by the girl wearing the cherry tree print dress. He couldn't stop watching her every movement, how she would stare at each art piece with a passion observation yet timid eyes, how she would like at him like he was from mars, she had so much inside of her screaming to break out of the coffins of her mind and heart, and Lovelace made him promise he would help her, she saw so much of her in Lavignia. 
“Would you like to try and  live the life you always longed for?” he asked her.”You will never be judged here, that is a promise I make you, in the name of everybody”
She was hypnotized by his eyes and the thought of finally exploring whatever she felt since she was younger and everybody always told her how wrong it was: this hunger. Ever since she read the Betty Friedan book “The feminine mystique” and was shocked to find out that women also could find pleasure in sex just like men. Never having the courage but each day inside the gallery she could feel the same insistent pit in her stomach always asking for more” So she just nodded and Harry got even closer, so close she could see the blue and golden inside his eyes and could hear his breathing and smell the mint in his breath.
This guy that just this weekend was having threesomes was going to kiss her shamelessly inside  their workplace. And she was going to let him. 
“Good Morning darlings” said the elegant voice of Jeannie coming from the front door “I’m a little bit late but I got fresh macarons from the french bakery close to Nessa’s place. She is just parking the … oh” Finally looking at the young couple on the floor so close that it was unmistakable that they were about to kiss when the owner of the gallery busted through the door “well…. young passion, always a good feeling when you just can’t wait till you can get home and enjoy each other but please do whatever you were going to do away from the art pieces, we wouldn’t want another incident like the party we threw back in 75”
Harry gave Jeannie a cheeky smile while the only thing Lavignia could feel was shame, absolut and complete shame. Opening her mouth to defend the situation she found herself in: 
“But we weren’t going to…”
“Lavignia you know I’m the biggest and most precious work of art from our little gallery” Harry said at the same time she was trying to come up with any excuse, looking at her while getting up and offering his hand.
“Oh Harry if I was 30 years younger you wouldn’t scape me” Jeannie answered. Today she was using a elegant bright red dress and a scarf around her head and by the smile on her face, Lav understood what they were trying to do: they wanted her to feel comfortable so they were joking to show her there was no problem in whatever they were doing.
“Now, enough talking we have two pieces to figure it out today and Harry where the fuck is the Semmel?” Lovelace said taking her heels off and started to walk around, checking everything they had already done. There was still 3 pieces for them to figure out how they would showcase. 
.
They were all sitting on the bench Harry dragged to the middle of the room, with watchful eyes resting on Lavignia that was right in the middle of two art pieces. They all were waiting for her to begin her explanation: 
“So, if you look at my right, we have the famous Correggio painting: Jupiter and Io, dated back 1530. So, we all know the Romans saw Jupiter as the equivalent of the Greek god Zeus. According to the tale, he was attracted to everything that was beautiful, especially Io, she was one of Hera’s priestess. Jupiter was always tempted by others beauty and would disguise himself to be closer to them. In the case of the Correggio” she said posting towards the bluish god that was encasing the woman in a sensual way “he took the form of a velvet fog to reach for Io” pointing through naked woman encased by the fog, she took a break, waiting to see if they wanted to add something but Jeannie just gave her a small smile, telling her to continue: “it’s from the Italian renaissance, as we all know and the technique is oil on canvas, it’s height is around 5’4 and is has been in the Austria museum since the XVI century” 
Harry raised his hand not wanting to disrupt her talking, he was quite fond of the way she lost all of her shyness and insecurities when it comes to art. When she was done she looked at Harry when he raised from his sitting position to get closer to the painting: 
“If we look next to her face, we can see a face form itself on the fog, that’s Jupiter, right? He is there taking her pleasure as his own and giving his pleasure to her as her own. It’s a mutual feeling, she isn’t dreaming about the fog, he is there. This is such an erotic turn, showing us this woman being involved with this fog, her face looks like she was being pleasured. It’s about the feeling of letting go, she was letting herself being encased by this fog, encased by desire” turning his face to the redhead sitting close to Lovelace he asked “what do you think, Nessa?” 
Crossing her long legs that were covered by a letter flared jumpsuit she stayed quiet, taking the pairing calmly. 
“I think I wanna hear about the Aphrodite before making a decision” 
Harry pinched Lavignia cheeks lightly as if saying: come on, we are waiting. 
Lavignia was looking at the piece. The three naked woman with no shame, laying together on top of the blue satin sheets: one was laying down with her hands above her head, the other was on her fours atop of the laying girl and the third was encasing the the same girl that has her eyes closed in delight. It was clear that she was the one they were intending to adore, she was Aphrodite. 
“Aphrodite is one of the famous goodness, she is the goodness of love and beauty, she was responsible for the perpetuation of life, pleasure and joy…” Lav lost her train of thoughts the moment she looked at Harry. 
He looked calm, standing so next to her, listening so attentive, as if every word that came from her mouth was precious to the subject. His eyes were extremely green thanks to the green and blue crochet vest he was wearing together with a high waisted jeans but everytime he raised his arms she could see a bit of his soft belly and what it seemed to be a butterfly tattoo. 
“Earth to Lavignia?” said the fant voice of Jeannie. Shaking her head a muttering a small ‘sorry’, she continued:
“Anyway, this illustration on paper was made for the Pierre Louys’s book, the artist is Maurice Ray, we don’t know the date but it’s from the 19th century, so it’s nearly not as old as the Correggio, so if we want to sort by date: we can’t. They are too far apart. We have to find the common ground beside both being created after myth. But we don’t have much on the creator of the illustration to help us built the story. It could be helpful” 
“You know” Harry started “it’s good when people don’t know the life of an artist. I mean, I don’t want people to read my poetry and think what inspired me. Like my “cherry” poem, and think “it’s about his last girlfriend who left his heart broken’, I want people to look at my art and take it as their own. The moment I give it to the world, it’s not mine anymore. Each person has their own claim for the piece, their own meaning, their own story. I look at those pieces and I don’t wanna know if the woman in Correggio was the one that got away, I wanna look and see what this makes me feel, how this tells me a story” 
Harry had a girlfriend who broke his heart? Does he always write from his own perspective? Where can she find one of his poems? She wants to know more about the boy who seemed to never look anything but a full rainbow with his colours and happiness. 
“So, we only have now to work with Sunlight to finish the preparations for the grant opening. Nessa is everything okay with the catering?” 
“Yes, I spoke to the cantina owner, you know, Angelo. He invited us to have dinner there today, so we can try everything he wants to bring” then opening her purse and getting a red notebook “I think we have everything covered: food, drinks, journalist to come, photographers, invitations has been send. I  think the only thing lacking is the Sunlight… Harry, where the fuck is the Sunlight?”
His eyes opened and he looked a little bit frightened at Vanessa: “shit, Nessa, don’t pull those eyes on me, I always get scared. I promise: it will be here, okay?” nervously he looked at both Jeannie and Vanessa, and then at Lavignia, in a suplic for a little help. 
“What time should we be at the cantina?” she changed the subject
“In a few hours, it’s only 2 pm now, maybe at 6, the music is going to start at 6 but we know nothing actually works on time here”
“Okay, so maybe let’s just revise everything? And maybe finally find the order we want to exhibit everything? Lav, do you have any idea?”
“I can only think the cliche: year and technique” 
“We have been here for the last four hours searching, reading, talking about those paintings. Can we do it tomorrow” Asked Nessa, raising her arms to stretch.
“Sure, how about you two go and write all that has been discussed today while me and Harry talk business in the office upstairs?” Lovelace said, taking Harry by the hand and leading him to the stairs that stood almost in a hidden part of the gallery.
When they were long gone, Vanessa questioned if she knew that they weren’t going talk business and when she didn’t respond, she continued:
“Harry ex-girlfriend cheated on him and then left with some french preppy guy saying he wasn’t the one because she could never deal with his ways. This was almost a year ago, he was pretty depressed, to be honest, cried a lot, never wanted to sleep alone” 
“Does he ever want to sleep alone?”
“You know, you are fast to judge people, when I think you are opening up to us... “ she stopped to get one of the posters for the gallery and pointed towards the front exit, needing help to put the poster in its place.
When Lavignia thought she wasn’t going to hear anymore of that, she finally continued the talk: “he hates being alone. He practically moved to Lovelace’s house for the first month, was always listening to Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide, crying. Actually, I think during those first three months he only took one person to bed and he cried during it. He started to get better when he wrote his book, travelled all around Asia, he vanished for maybe 45 days. When he got back, he was him again. Maybe a better version of himself”
“Why are you telling me all of this, you don’t even know if I’m going to stay at the gallery or I’m gonna take the other job”
“You know… I can see in your eyes, the sparkle when you talk about those pieces, when you let yourself go. But then, it's like something turns it on in your brain, almost like it’s short circuiting, and then… you stop, you blush and you give us judgmental stares”
“You know, I can’t help it”
“I know” Nessa said with a faint smile “but we can help you”
.
They were all laughing over bottles of chardonnay and pasta, Lovelace was in the middle of telling one of her many stories about the roaring 30 and all that she done back in New York. They got there half an hour ago, the music crew were beginning to put all the instruments over the small stage. The cantina was only two blocs from the gallery. They were sitting outside, in a round table with red and white tablecloth, with fairy lights to illuminate the place, trees that gave the place a certain fairy look.
When they arrived, there was a petite black woman with a sundress and braids on her hair, she recognized to be Nessa’s fiance, but she couldn’t bring herself to remember her name, no matter how much she tried.
When they sat, she was in the middle of Jeannie and Harry. She could feel his arms brushing her back every time he talked. 
“Guarda se non sei la donna più bella di tutto il nord italia” said a tall man, he must be around his sixties. Very blue eyes, gray hair and charming smile. He had honeyd voice, and man, she really needs to improve her Italian if she wants to stay.
“Quindi mi ci abituo, Angelo. E come sempre: il cibo è delizioso.”
They continued to talk for a bit, Lavignia ended up losing the conversation, looking at the small stage, that now had a singer, maybe she was finally going to be introduced to some good italian song besides Volare.
“Perdona la mia mancanza di istruzione” he looked at Lav “sei nueva qui, guisto?  La tua nuova ragazza, Harry? Che bella”
“Nei miel più grandi sogni, forse” God, Harry’s voice sounded even more charming in italian “Lavignia è il nuovo impiegato della galleria. Ma penso she dovremmo parlare in inglese”
“I am so sorry, my dearest” he said with a very strong accent “ I didn’t knew you didn’t speak Italian. It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Angelino and welcome to my humble restaurant”
“Thank you so much. I know a bit of Italian, but it’s the language I speak the least and with all the noise and people talking at the same time, it gets hard to understand”
In that moment, the song beguin to play “Our music guess is starting now, if you excuse me… Jeannie, mi concede questo ballo?” taking her hand he lead her to the dancefloor, followed by Nessa and Cathy, who she finally remembered the name.
“And then they were two” Harry whispered turning to her 
She took another bite of the pasta containing a moan while Harry finished his glass, getting another bottle and pouring  for both of them”
“It was my bad Italian or Jeannie and Mr. Charming over there were flirting?” Harry smirked with her statement:
“You are absolutely, right. They flirt all the fucking time. It’s cute but sometimes I just want to push them towards a bedroom with a very big bed and say they can only leave after they fucked their brains out”
The more they talked, the more Harry got closer. He asked about her life before Italy and she asked about his book. She told about how she was trapped with her parents even after she graduated, so she left. He told her about his traveling through Asia, the people he met, how he went to a David Bowie show in Japan, that each city he visited brought him back to himself. 
“You know, maybe...can I buy one of your books?” she asked, with a timid glint all over her eyes “I just want to know what type of art you write”
“Oh, my poetry is all about having sex and feeling sad”
“Well, I still want to. I might blush a lot and maybe won’t be able to look you in the eyes on the first few days, but then I’ll get over it”
“How about this, you dance with me and tomorrow I give you my book to read. Deal” 
“Deal” shaking hands then getting up towards the dancefloor. 
Putting both of his hands on her hips, Harry got closer. They could listen to the calming voice of the singer. Softly singin the chorus of the song, with his mouth close to her ear. 
Lavignia could smell his cologne and feel the heat from his body, almost like he was encasing her in a protection spell from the wind. 
“You seem to know the words to the song. Who is this guy?”
“Oh, he is Pino Daniele, right now he only performs at small bars, weddings. But all of his songs are so good, give him a few years and I’m sure he’ll be big, at least here in Italy. That’s for sure” 
After that they were quiet for a moment, she was trying to catch the words to the song. Feeling distracted by the environment they had: fairy lights, the jazz with a popish sound to it, people dancing without a care, everything so colorful. The heat of the summer night was disguised because of the slightly cold wind that came from being close to the beach. Harry cleaned his throat to get her attention:
“I need your help. The Joan Semmel painting is so hard for me to decipher and I think I know why, she painted from such a tender female point of view. And I know I could ask anyone to help me, but I love how in love with art you are. How you lose yourself describing and talking about the pieces” 
“Okay, I can help. But are you sure Jeannie and Nessa won’t be mad?” 
“I already talked to Jeannie and Nessa a little bit before we had to leave the gallery, actually” the slower song came to an end but they couldn’t let each other go. There was comfort in this embrace and light conversation. Almost like they had done this a thousand times before. 
“You could come by my place tomorrow. We can fix this, maybe I can read some of my poems, since you’re so curious” 
“Sure, what time?” 
“Around lunch? There is no hurry since it’s close to eight and I don’t think we’ll be going home anytime soon” 
She had a night full of dancing and wine ahead of her. She could only wonder what would happen tomorrow when the sun came out. 
Day 4: Office Love https://www.phillips.com/detail/A/NY040210/233
The sky was cloudy when Lavignia knocked on the mahogany door. The house from the outside was already beautiful, with vines all over the place, the orange color of the wall and big door. 
“Hey” Harry said while opening the door, dressed in just a satin robe “I was drawing, I lost track of time. Would you like to come in?” 
The door lead her to his living room, there was a big hello round couch, with red walls and a Indian tapestry. The red walls were full of art pieces - all of them pretty much leaning on the sensual side - the  three ceiling to floor windows gave a beautiful view of the street and grey sky. 
“Feel like you’re at your own home, okay? Please put your shoes over there” he said pointing towards a small cabinet “I’m just going to put on some clothes and I’m be back” 
With Harry upstairs, she was left alone to wander through the living room. There were magazines and vinyls all over the place as well as books about a few of the artists they were going to exhibit. He was doing his homework, apparently. 
But then something got hold of her attention: it was a black and white photograph. It seemed like it was an office, a typical American one. With two big windows and a rectangular desk but there, laying at the same desk, there was a barely dressed woman with her breast out and a man -completely dressed- devouring the woman’s chest. 
“Do you like the work of Helmut Newton?” She heard Harry’s voice just behind her, when she turned around there he was with a graphic white t shirt full of little watermelons drawings and jeans shorts. 
“You scared me, you walked down the stairs really quiet” 
“I wasn’t quiet, you were just really paying attention to the photograph. So do you like Helmuts job?” 
“I never heard of him ‘till today” 
“Well… he is a German photographer and is known for his studies of the female body. He worked a lot with Yves Saint Laurent and that was actually how I met him, I loved his fashions editorials of the brand. Then when I was at the fine arts museum in Boston last year, I saw this photograph. He was touring with his new exhibition when I bought this one. But it only arrived last month, when the tour was done” 
He was side by side with her, looking at the piece for a few seconds before continuing his explanation: “the name of this photograph is Office Love. When I had the chance to talk to him he said he wanted his photographs to arouse. And they do, because he so boldly explores his longings. But, in my personal opinion, what makes his art so sexy is his obvious belief that sex in the most important thing in the world” he looked at Lavignia “so, what do you think?” 
She looked at him with wide eyes and open mouth. 
“You don’t have to say anything to me, okay? But think about this painting when you’re alone. I lost the count of how many times I sat on this same couch looking at her and imaging it was me on the picture. Especially this week” did he said what she thinks he said? “Anyway, would you like to eat something before we start? I brought my book with me, thought we could eat a peanut butter sandwich and I’ll read something”. When she nodded, Harry took her hand and lead her towards the kitchen. 
.
His kitchen was all black and white: black and white tiled floor, black electrical appliance with white walls. Black table with white chairs. 
He made the sandwiches and got them a glass full of water. When they were halfway done, he got one his book and asked what type of poem she would like to hear. 
“Anything. Just want to get to know your art” 
“I’ll just open randomly then…” and when he did, his smile flared a little bit, maybe this poem represents a sad moment in his life. When she was close to telling him that there was no need for him to read if it hurted him, he cleared his throat and said: “this is The cherry sonet” 
Along with the cherry trees came hopeless sorrow
The cherry color reminds me that I’ll still hurt tomorrow
Dreams of you erupted in my waking 
My broken heart is still yours for the taking 
When you met him, did he called you ‘cherriè’?
When you kissed him, did you remembered me? 
And when you left me
Did you feel like you were finally free? 
But don’t you call him baby 
Don’t you dare 
To call him what you used to call me 
But don’t you call him baby 
Don’t you dare
To call him what you used to call him 
She felt tears in her eyes, that was the first time he was avoiding looking at her. Closing the book he gave her and whispered “it’s yours. Take care of it” 
“Harry, I’m so sorry. No one deserves to feel this heartbreak” 
“It was a long time ago. I don’t miss her, I don’t even love her anymore. But every time I remember what she done to me and how much pain I went through my hearts remembers the heartbreak.” 
“I understand if you don’t wanna talk about it, but, who was she?” 
“Her name doesn’t matter. She lived here for a while, I fell in love so deeply, I don’t think I was ever in love before her. It was like the world gained color and I didn’t have to be so lonely, anymore. I was still trying to figure it out where I stood in the world, and for that to work out, I tried to be the perfect match for her. I think i lost a bit of me when I lost her. But that was never truly me, you know” he paused to drink some water “ She didn’t like how I treated matters of privacy. She didn’t like the theme of the gallery and she didn’t like Lovelace either. Said she was a bad influence. So to prove her I could work with other themes, I made this work with a French gallery owner. She cheated on me with him.” 
“Harry… I don’t know what to say to you. I never fell in love and don’t even remember liking someone that liked me back, you know? I don’t know much about you, but I can see that you’re good and you don’t deserve any of that” 
He got her hand that was over the table and took in his. Not saying anything but it was like their conversation was happening without needing any words. 
“I think we need to work on the Semmel. Do you want me to bring here or would you mind if we go to my music room. I left it there” 
.
The music room consists of a place full of music instruments, more vinyls and more books. With pillows and tapestry all over the floor, there was no couch or chair. If you wanted to sit, you had to sit on the floor. On the far left of the room there was a painting with a purple bed sheet covering everything. 
“Ready?” He pulled the sheet and she was left marvelous. 
Joan Semmel is a New Yorker painter and writer. Most of her works are about the female point of view. But, even with the knowledge about the artist’s life, nothing could prepare Lav for the pairing ahead of her: it was a woman sitting down on her bed, relaxed and completely naked. She was touching her body and her body was golden from the sunlight. You couldn’t see her face, she was painting from her point of view. 
“You know I can write about any perspective but I’m having trouble with this one because it shows such a intimate view of the woman’s body. I called Lovelace to help me as soon as we got the thing but she said “darling I’m too old to remember the feeling of looking down at a younger version of my body” 
Lavignia couldn’t mutter a word, she was too much hypnotized by the work. And also jealous: she doesn’t know what it is to be naked on her own bed just taking in her own body. She didn’t knew that could be so much freedom when you’re “normal”. Because one thing is too see Bowie and Jagger preaching sexual freedom. She thought it was made for the ones that had an unusual life. But here she was meeting people that had no problem with showing themselves to her. 
“So, what do you think?” Harry asked her. 
“She has a classic technique of color mixing and…”
“Darling I know all of that part. I need your take about the painting, what’s the feeling behind that and what it compares to true life, and then, together, we can figure it out how to fit inside the theme, how to display it and finally decide the story we are going to tell with Love and Sex because, I’m sorry, my dove, but we have such an unique gallery and exhibit that I don’t want to waste it with cliche display options, I know we only have two days but if we think something NOW, we have tomorrow and the entire morning of saturday to fix it.”
It was too much. It was too much. It was too much. 
This isn’t right. This isn’t right. This isn’t right. 
So Lavignia almost screamed without having second thoughts: 
“That’s not right, I can’t go on and talk about that! She had her thoughts while doing this piece, but there must exist this lack of control when people make such works. Life HAS to have control, Harry. YES it’s a wonderful piece but I don’t feel anything while looking at it” 
“You’re lying. I can tell when you’re looking at me like that” Harry said with a sad yet  angry look upon his eyes “your problem is that you never let yourself lose control. You don’t think I notice... but I do. You give everyone the same staring eyes, judgmental eyes when you remember about your ‘lack of control’. When Jeannie asked us to give you a chance, I went with an open heart. I just undressed my soul to you while reading that poem, I thought you were different from her, she judged me and left me. And here you are judging me. How many days till you walk away from the gallery? When we are on the day of the opening and you leave us with all of the work it should be also yours? We are a family down at the gallery and you have no right to fuck that up with your precious control” his voice started to raise “but let me tell you one thing: one day you are going to have a cock so deep in you that you’ll feel it on your tummy, fingers messing with your button and a tongue down your throat and you’re going to find down there is more to life than your precious control” 
He turned his back and finally said: “Get out of my house, I’ll call Lovelace and ask her to fix the Semmel for me.  I don’t think I will go to the gallery until the opening, I can’t look at you when you’re looking at me like I’m sick. If you want to stay, we all are going to welcome you with open arms. If you still  want to learn how to let go of your prejudice like you said it to me yourself: I’m here. But as long as you are judging us and messing with people's hard work: I can’t look at you.” He gave her one final look and opened his mouth one last time: “do me a favor and only go Saturday if you are willing to try. If that’s not what you want it’s not fair to you to continue to suffer what our daily works entails. And it’s not fair to us to be kept on the fence if you’ll stay or not. And it’s not fair to me to be lead on and think I have a chance of  you being mine” 
And with that he left the room. Letting Lavinia alone with her own thoughts. She had to get of his house. She need to talk with someone. 
She needed Jeannie Lovelace. 
.
She knocked one time. 
Nothing.
Another.
Nothing.
One more time and Lavignia would go home and pack.
The door was opened. 
“Darling, are you alright?” Said Jeannie Lovelace. She was with a beautiful black silk skirt, barefoot and a simple white shirt: “I thought you and Harry were going to spend the day together. Come in, come in” 
She went inside still paralyzed. Jeannie lead her towards the nearest couch (the heart shaped one) and said: “Laviginia, do you want a hug?”
She hugged the old lady that smelled like lavender. She felt at home. She cried.
“What happened? Do I need to go and kill Harry?”
“I think I’m the one that needs the killing” and so she begging the story. From the time they met, to all the flirst, how Harry tried to help her to feel at home and more comfortable with her own skin and nature. Told about the flirting and the night before. And then… told her about what happened just a few minutes ago. When she was done, Jeannie looked at her and finally started to talk: 
“Lav, I don’t think he was right to say those things, but I don’t think you were right to judge so harshly. You know, we are what life made us” she paused “I can’t talk about you, I just met you. I hired you not only because of your knowledge and because we needed someone with your background, I could easily get somenome from Rome for that. But it was because I trust my instincts and it felt like there was a little fairy whispering to me ‘she’s the one you need’. I don’t know how much do you want to open up, but I’m here” 
Lavignia opened her mouth without even thinking “do you know why I was in Paris? Because after I graduated my father told me that now that I could say I was educated and fulfilled my ‘feminist dream’ I should go back to real life and marry. He wanted me to marry the neighbor, by the way. When I said no, he just told me to leave. I still had a bit of money and one of my classmates was French, so that’s where I went.” 
“You know, for someone that is so afraid of life, you are quite brave” 
“So I’ve been told” she paused “but… how will this fix the shit Ihave done to him?” 
“My darling, he is no stranger to heartbreak. He is a free spirit, yes, but he longs to have someone to be free with him. There was something about you that made him feel enchanted, the same way he was some time ago with that girl… but she wasn’t the one for him”
“But I have done the same thing: I was quick to me judgmental with him” 
“There is a huge quote by the one and only Anaïs Nin that goes like this: ‘You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken’. Do you understand that, darling?”
“I do. How do you remember so much of this big quote?”
“Because it was thanks to this book that I woke up. You see, my family had same expectations for me. But imagine that 40 years ago… women barely could go to university. It was - still is, sadly - a man’s world. But, day by day, we can get our space. And that’s in everything, including sex. Don’t be ashamed to own your power. Own your body. Give your life everything what it deserves. Think of you first. And… when you find out who you are and if that person wants people like us as your friends, will be here. If you want Harry to be with you, he will be. And he will take you on your craziest adventures because come on… he’s an aquarius” 
“I’m a Libra” 
“It’s a good match” Lovelace laughed “would you like some wine? I was about to drink some rosé?” 
One hour later they had bruschetta and one bottle of wine almost finished. She was listening to Lovelace talk about her adventures and, unlike last Monday, she was lovin’ it. That woman had such good stories. 
Maybe was the wine but Lavignia finally had the courage to ask: “Do you think Harry will forgive me?” 
“Darling, the moment you said yes to the wine, I know he will forgive you” 
“Why?”
“Because you stayed”
.
Day 5: sunlight 
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Semmel#/media/File%3AThe_Jewish_Museum's_Wikipedia_Edit-a-Thon_20.jpg
Lavignia woke up with the rays of the sun hitting her face. She looked at the window and it was completely opened. Didn’t she close it last night? 
After all the drinking and talking with Jeannie, she called her a taxi so she didn’t have to ride the bus alone and slightly intoxicated. 
Looking at the clock she had beside the mattress on the floor - she really didn’t have time to make her complete move just yet so her small loft was quite simple: off white walls, a dresser, a kitchen, her mattress and a little door to the bathroom with a a bathtub. There were boxes all over the floor, the Sunday after the opening she would fix everything, maybe paint the walls and get a few posters: one of Stevie Nicks, one of Frida Khalo and one of Bridget Bardot: her most divine life examples. 
Looking at her door, she saw her blue knee high boots and her purse and inside her purse she could see just a little bit of the light pink and blue book cover. 
Maybe … she could? 
She really didn’t want to get up so she crawled towards her purse and got the book. She could imagine his reaction to her crawling for something of his. 
Back to her bed, Lavignia was lost looking at the book cover, trying to catch all of the details. One side was blue and the other pink. The front cover he had the name “Fine Line” and there was a drawing of him laying down, naked. But you couldn’t see nothing, just the contour lines. Nothing else. At the back of the book there was a simple quote: 
This is a story about my journey. 
The one where I found and lost love. 
But I found myself. 
Do you know who you are? 
As soon as the book was opened, Lavignia found the dedication, it was for his mother and Jeannie - who he calls his American mother. Then, there was a list of 15 poems and prose with the number of pages next to it: the cherry tree sonet, I saw an angel; from the hallway I write you this poem; don’t call me baby, again; the fruits of your body; the lights; golden as the sun; adoration; sex is medicine; summertime and butterflies; from Tokyo, with love; the little gallery. 
What was better? Reading the book from the beginning or do just like Harry did not even 24 hour ago and choose randomly. Lavignia went with the later. This time it was a little prose:
Adoration 
I like the love language our eyes share. When we are so together laying in bed with the sounds of the city having a conversation behind the windows. We are so close that I can feel our lashes touch. Do you know I adore you? 
There are words you can’t say yet. And I understand, darling. You don’t have to say you love me. But I have to tell you: I adore you. 
Please, let me adore you
I adore you 
I love you 
Reading this made her understand more about him. Lovelace wasn’t lying when she said Harry feels everything to its maximum. He was so pure when it comes to the matter of the heart. She felt so guilty for how she treated him. But she knows that at the time she was a different person than she is now, just a day later. All thanks to Jeannie and her Anaïs Nin quote. Wanting to read another, she opened the book in a random page, this time it was a poem: 
The fruits of your body 
From the tangerine smell of your body 
To the dreams I have of your lipstick 
It’s strawberry lick, isn’t?
From the way you hold my body 
To the way you make me love it
It’s sultriness, isn’t? 
From taste of watermelon 
That slips all the way down your legs 
I suck it all up. Don’t I? 
From the way you make me grow
To the way you make me shiver 
I’m at your feet
Yours. 
Yours while you’ll have me. 
Yours. 
As long as the fruit season lasts. 
I hope it lasts forever
The more she read, hotter she felt. It was never like this. She ripped her dress off. She ripped her underwear off. She wanted to get off. For the first time. 
But how? 
And then she remembered something a certain curly haired man with a mustache told her: “think about it when you’re alone”. 
That painting. That damn painting. All of the art pieces she looked this week. The smell of him. The way his body moved. The way he looked at her. She was on fire. The sunlight coming from the window ignited the fire on her body. She was finally on fire. 
Looking down at her body, knowing she was treasure map, ready to be discovered. So her journey begins:
A light touch to her neck, with the tip of her finger. The heat grows inside. Her breast so full of desire: she grabbed them. Massages them. Pinching each one of her nipples. Changed the pressure. Moaned and arched her body. She needed more but she didn’t want to stop her exploring, so she raised to her knees, getting one of her pillows. 
Right between her legs. With her hands getting acquainted with herself she rolled her hip and thought of green eyes watching her. Would he have a smile on his face? She hopes so. Because she is so fucking proud of herself. She was a queen in search of the pleasure she never had the right before. 
Her body. Her pleasure. Her orgasm. 
When she got tired from riding the pillow she laid down again. Her hands went to her heat. And she touched and touched and touched. 
And then… sunlight. She was covered in light. She was the sunlight. Her body reactions is like a morning light: beautiful and so unique. 
When she had finally calmed herself she looked around. And something just clicked. 
Getting up and taking a shower was the first thing she needed to do. Then… Lavignia would run as fast as she could to the gallery: she knew what to do about the opening. 
Day 6: perfume  https://fineartamerica.com/featured/perfume-1910-luigi-russolo.html
Lavignia was going to have a syncope. She was sure of it. The sun was finally setting but it was still hot. Hotter than ever. And if she didn’t hurry she was going to be late for the opening. 
The silk white dress Lovelace gave her was from her own wardrobe. “From my peach days” she called. The dress had thin straps and it reached mid thigh with a fringe assuming the rest of the outfit till it reached her ankle. It was a true fastidious dress from the 30s. And she felt in character. 
Just the day before Laviginia stayed back at the gallery till almost 3am together with Jeannie and Vanessa (and Cathy, she got there with dinner for them and stayed to help). 
It was hard but the moment she told her idea, Jeannie and Vanessa fell in love with it. It was original and so in touch with everything the gallery stood for. 
Sitting on the bus she looked at the the street. It was almost night time and people were starting to begin their Saturdays festivities. Lavignia felt her stomach turn and turn, the closer she got to the bus stop the more her nerves were making her crazy. 
She was going to do the presentation. Yes, that was Jeannie and/or Harry’s job. But well… it would be a miracle if he showed up today and Lovelace said it was all Lavignia, so she is the one that making all the talking. 
Getting out of the bus was easy. Finding her around the streets that lead to Mattina ed Estasi was easy. There was music and people talking loudly. From the window of an old building she could see the shadow of a couple making love. 
But the moment she saw the red Harley, nothing was easy. Her heart was beating fast. Harry was already there. He probably saw the way they fixed everything. Just the paintings with a small description to it. The order didn’t offer any technical logic. Maybe he was mad. Maybe he was curious. Maybe he was just as anxious as she. 
But Lavignia knew she wouldn’t get her answer if she just stood there. She had to walk through those doors and face everything. 
She was ready. 
.
The moment she was inside the gallery she felt so proud of herself. Looking at all the pieces circling the space. Forming a cycle. A love and sex cycle. And four of those pieces where on the center stage: first is Sunlight, followed by Correggio and the Aphrodite, the gods and goodness deserved to be together. And, finally, the one she was so afraid on her second day of work but became one of Lav’s favorite art pieces to ever exist: the women with the black stockings. 
When she dressed today, she was inspired by the painting. But, instead of black, it was white. White lace and see through lingerie her friend from France gave her but she never had the courage to wear - till today - with white stocking. A little innocent gif, if Harry was willing to open when the night is over. 
And by the way… where is Harry? The opening was only for another hour and she knows she was the last one here. 
“Oh, you’re finally here. Good” she heard Nessa’s low voice. Dressed in a black glittery jumpsuit with wide legs and a heart shaped cut in the chest area. Looking like the disco goodness she was “Lovelace was getting worried. You look beautiful, by the way” giving her a small kiss on the cheek she continued “I have to go and see if all of the catering is ready but Lovelace and Harry are upstarts. Any second now… okay?” 
And she was alone again. But not for long. 
She could smell him before she could actually see him. The same vanilla and tobacco. But if Lavignia thought she was feeling a little bit woozy with his smell. Nothing could prepare her for the outfit he choose: white trousers and tank top with a white blazer. Something John Travolta would wear. He had a bit of scruff but his mustache was still the first thing she noticed in his face, together with the pink sunglasses. 
Harry was looking at her, frozen at the top of the copper stairs.  
“We match” she said about the all white assembly they both were wearing. 
“You came” 
And he gave her a small smile. Maybe not everything was lost. 
.
Even with their little exchange, Harry hasn’t talked to her. The opening was keeping everybody busy. There was photographers and journalist to entertain. A lot of people from the villa, too. 
From the corner of her eye, she could see Jeannie in her bright pink spaghetti dress talking to Angelino. He was wearing a blue velvet suit. They fitted together. 
The clock read 8:47 pm, more 13 minutes and she would go to the little stage and do the presentation. She was nervous. Lavignia was in need of a drink. 
As if he heard her thoughts, Harry got closer to her for the first time in the evening with a champagne glass:
“You look nervous. Everything is perfect, you can relax” he said, with a faint smile. Up close she could see the birds tattooed in his chest “and don’t you look quite dazzling tonight” 
“Thanks. You look quite handsome yourself” accepting the glass and taking a big gulp, her shoulders finally relaxing a bit “I’m nervous about the presentation” 
“Don’t be. Lovelace always dazzles everyone. And I’m quite curious to find out why she chose this order to present the works” 
He didn’t know. 
“She didn’t. I did. And I’m doing the presentation. I’m so nervous” Harry looked at her with shocked eyes. Then he looked around. Then back at her, finally taking his glasses off and looking right inside her eyes: 
“Then can you help me make sense of everything?”
“I think I’ll let you find out with the rest of the people here” 
“Why are you teasing me so much? I wouldn’t do that” 
“No, you would do worse” she looked at him with a glint inside the honey color of her eyes “actually, I think you will do worse to me, one way or another” 
“Depends, if you’re a good girl then it won’t exist any teasing. So come on… enlighten me. Tell me why everything is organized like this” 
“It’s a story. And that’s everything I’m gonna tell you right now” even with their light conversation, Lavignia felt like there was an elephant in the room, so she finally decided to talk about it “can we talk? You know… about what happened?” 
“After this, maybe?” 
“Why aren’t you upset with me? I thought I would have to get on my knees and beg for you to talk to me today” 
“You stayed. The moment you decided to stay, I decided to give you a little bit of my heart. But after the presentation, we can steal a bottle of champagne and go to the office upstairs” he took the bit of her hair that was loose and fixed behind her ear “about getting on your knees: you still can, darling” smiling he gave her his own glass “and there is my favorite embarrassed little girl. Now drink, Jeannie is going to the stage right now,  your presentation will start soon. 
The anticipation she felt about the promise of an “later” with Harry was only bigger than the wheels that were turning inside her stomach. Lovelace was getting up on the stage, god she was going to die. 
“Ladies, gentlemen and everything that is in between, good night and welcome to our new exhibition: Love and Sex” people were clapping and shouting “Before telling the story behind those pieces, I wanna thank Angelino, from Villaggio dell’amore, for making such a delicious dinner for us. Also I would like to thank Vanessa, she works for the gallery since 1975 and since she got here, we only got better the same goes to Harry “she said posting her glass towards Nessa then Harry “you not only came here and invested in our little gallery but you gave us so much more, most of the pieces from today wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. You had this idea and with our little help, we created this magic. So thank you” he raised his glass and say something in Italian that she couldn’t quite pinpoint with all the clapping. 
“Now, not long ago our family got a new member. She came here with her doubts but the moment she allowed the pleasure behind the art envolve her completely, she changed this exhibit for the better and today she’s going to be the one to talk to you. Graduated in Arts in Communication and my new adoptive daughter: Lavignia” 
Harry gave her a small pat on the but like saying “you’re up”. 
When Lavignia climbed the three steps to the little stage, she could feel like she was shaking. When she hugged Lovelace, she was shaking. The moment she saw all of those people faces, she was shaking. But when she saw his smile, she wasn’t shaking. He gave her peace of mind. 
“Thank you, Jeannie, for the lovely introduction” he gave her a not “Welcome to Love and Sex, today, we are going to tell you a little story” 
“From the start of the day, we have this huge Sunlight, a piece from Joan Semmel. Sunlight here isn’t only the signal of a new day that begins. When we talk about Love and Sex, we also talk about the discover of yourself. Know your pleasure, own your pleasure. Make love to your own body. You will never get the meaning of true love or sex, unless you become acquainted with yourself. Inside out. That’s what Sunlight is about: is the vision of the artist upon her own body. When she loves what she see and knows each part of her; what makes her quiver and long. When she makes her own body shake with love and sex is when she is ready to discover the world. Because the moment you understand yourself, you can understand others without any prejudice or pride. The moment you allow yourself is when you can finally deliver yourself to the fogs of pleasure, so well represented by Correggio’s Jupiter. Because here Jupiter is desire, is temptation, it’s the deliver. It’s when you embrace the feeling of bliss. That’s actually why we put gods and goodness together, because when you look at Aphrodite, you want to be inside the piece, you want to be this woman that not only represents beauty but also love. It’s when the pleasure you search it’s at its peak. Orgasm. High. Whatever word you might want to call it” 
Harry was looking at her with attentive eyes. A proud smile. A promise of an later. Everything about the way he looked at her made her feel anything but ashamed for the things she was saying. She had a speech prepared. But she remembers nothing of it because the moment she was on stage nothing else mattered beside her feelings towards the pieces, at the end everything is about feelings. 
“And then, we finally have The woman with the black stockings; because sometimes you have the chance to find people whose intensity matches yours and you just want that person. You dream and you desire, because now, sex is not only sex but is also love. You fuck at 10 am but have slow sex in the evening. Whatever this person wants, is theirs. You are opening yourself. Not only literally but metaphorically, as well. And you can only hope this person doesn’t get scared only because you’re so open” 
The whole moment she was talking, people were walking around the artworks. But now, they were all looking at her. Now was the time to close her explanation and kiss her man, the same man that was so attentively looking at her and helping her since the first day. 
“If love is a prose, sex is poetry. From all the artworks I just told you all about it, they all share the same theme but are shown in a different way. From the fog that encapsulates the young woman in Jupiter to the woman with her open legs showing to her lover that everything that is hers is also his. Giving him the privilege to see her in such a tender yet sensual way. Because love and sex are privileges. You can have one without the other, but together they are powerful. Is a privilege because you can’t find that in others so easily. The ones that can see what pleasure is all about, that there is no shame in longing, in wanting, in quivering for someone but also recognize than when you do it all of this with love: Is irreplaceable”
Looking around she saw people with tears in their eyes. Lavignia was so proud of herself. 
“Is a privilege because not everybody can find that. A few people spend all of their lives without knowing the true pleasures of the flesh and others spend their lives wanting to be loved, waiting for someone to fit inside of them just like a puzzle. But, sometimes, all you need is you. The world is quite boring but some people know how to make it colorful, just like those artist that shows us the most inherent sentiment of the human race with the most primal desire of the human race. 
This, is love and sex. Enjoy your night. Thank you.” 
Lavignia could hear the applause. Lovelace went to give her a kiss on the cheek, Nessa and Cathy were hugging her, welcoming her to the family. Journalist wanted to talk to to her. She could see cameras flashing and unknown faces congratulating her. But her focus was in looking for him, and she found him: at the top of the stairs, with a bottle on his hand, he gave her a nod, pointing toward the office door. Lovelace, that was standing right beside her told her to go. 
.
The office had baby blue and white walls. That was the first thing she noticed. There was a bathroom and a big window showing the hot Italian summer night. In the middle of the room was a desk and sitting on that same desk, there was a man picking at his nails with a champagne bottle next to him. When he heard the door, he gave her a smile and stood up. 
“I thought you were going to ditch me” 
“No. Just had a lot of people wanting to talk. Sorry” 
“Nothing to be sorry for” he took a step closer to her “can I just start by saying how I’m so fucking proud of you? You gave such a nice speech and you made the theme so much better than what we initially thought. Cheers to that” he gave her a small smile and the bottle. Taking from his hands and drinking a big gulp, the sweet taste of the champagne that had notes of cherry filled her tastes buds. She gave him the bottle back so he could drink and asked him: 
“What was the message you took from everything?” 
“That love and sex is to let yourself go. As you said, it’s a privilege… and what a nice privilege” they were standing in the middle of the room, the sound of the party downstairs was nothing compared to the silent conversation that was happening behind every word they exchanged. 
Harry thought Lavignia looked beautiful with the lights from the night sky illuminating her beautiful face. It was only then and the moon. Their only witness was the moon. He wanted to get a paper and write everything he was thinking. Maybe he would named Her and the moon and would say something among the lines: even the moon takes chances in betting that our love begins tonight. Strong or weak. Happy or sad. 
But they still had so much to talk. So Harry decided to begin: “why were you so harsh to judge? Not only me but everybody here, actually” 
“I think I was intimidated by you. You came telling about your weekend and I could only think ‘he has done more in three days that I have done my entire life. And I don’t know I think when you mix that with the unknown, I ended up misjudging you. More than once. Even when you were always so open to me” she got the champagne, drinking some more “I’m so ashamed for how I treated everybody here. You and Nessa and even Lovelace that first night, drinking everything and passing out.”
“You don’t have to be ashamed, we are family here. And family forgives, right?” he pinched her nose “And yeah, I understand what you mean, we tend to fear the unknown. Were you really discussed by me? And the fact I like a little bit of everything?”
“I think I was jealous,actually.  And I hated myself for the feeling you gave me since last Monday when I saw you walk through the door. But I don’t think I was actually discussed, you know? Not at you, at least. Maybe at myself. It was hard to understand all the feelings I was having  and also understand that feeling all of this is okay” 
“I thought you were beautiful, you know? I was captivated by you since the first day. And we were always on and off during the week. There were days I thought you were finally understanding us and days I was sad because you looked at us as if we were monsters... exept when you start talking about art. That’s beautiful. You lose yourself in it.” 
She was so closer to him now, playing with his rings. Harry noticed little lines on her forehead, like she was thinking about something. 
“You seem like you want to ask me something”
“Do you still want to get to know me? Or have I missed my chance?” He laughed at that. 
“Of course I wanna get to know you.”
In that moment, both of them let go a relieved breath. It was crazy to think about how much could change in one week. Lavignia always thought you could only feel like she was feeling was you know someone for years, but sometimes you have the privilege. 
It was a brand new start, the Sunlight was a reborn for her. And now they were on the same page. They were both open. They both wanted a real chance. 
“Will you be patient with me?” She asked him 
“Always.”
“When are you going to kiss me?”
“When I’m finally inside of you”
“And when is that?”
“In a few hours from now, when the party has died down a little bit”
“I was thinking you were going to kiss me now.”
“Well... we can do other stuff, you know?”
“Like the painting at your house? It’s quite sensual” 
“Look at you. How do you managed to be able to talk like this in just two days”
“You can’t  see it because of the lack of light but I’m blushing right now but... you are right. I had to discover myself. Actually one of your poems helped me, and all of those paintings, they created a good picture in my head.”
“Are you saying you got off to one of my poems?”
She nodded her head. Affirmative. 
“Which one?”
“The one about the fruits”
“Fuck... you are making real hard for me not to kiss you right now”
“Why don’t you?”
“I’m going to. Just not now. If I’m going to kiss you I’m going to do it right. Laying on my bed, with me inside of you. But it doesn’t mean I can’t do something to help you. I can see you’re squishing your thighs.” getting closer to her, he looked right inside her eyes, making her feel dizzy. 
“Tell me, darling. Ever heard about voyeurism?” Harry asked with his deep voice just above a whisper.
She was feeling dizzy. His perfume was increasing all of her nerves. The smell of vanilla marking her melt while the notes of  tobacco was igniting a fire within herself she never felt before”
He got closer again and grabbed her hips “I’m not going to ask again... ever hear of voyeurism?” 
She nodded her head. A negative. 
“Well...it’s when you have satisfaction of watching people engage in sexual situations” he said in a low whisper close to her ear, she was shaking. Harry was walking her backwards till her back was against the desk “I would love to see you hump this pretty table till you get lost in the feeling of a delicious high. And then I’ll take your wet panties from you and put it on my front pocket, close to the part that is aching the most to get to know you” he raised her to sit on the desk, opening her legs in a position her clit was resting on the cold and hard surface “then we are going to mingle. People are going to come to you and talk about how good your speech was. Cathy and Nessa are going to want to take photographs. Poor them, little they know my little girl is without any underwear, wet and waiting for us to get home” he started to help her move her hips on the desk. The first few waves of pleasure passing through her body like little flicks of energy “and then I’ll take you home and fuck you properly for the first time in your life, would you like that, darling?” She nodded her head and he gave her a peck in one of her eyelids “good. But, for all of that to happen I need you to do me a favor and come” 
“Won’t people hear me?” 
“And what’s the matter of that. We are not working anymore. We are enjoying a very sensual party, just like everyone else. And I can promise what we are doing here... everybody down there had done at least two times worse” she was hypnotized by him and his damn perfume “fuck it, right?” 
Fuck it 
Lavignia felt her hips moving more and more. Her toes were turning inside her boots. Harry was whispering dirty nothings close to her ear, leaving light kisses across all of her neck and chest. Holding her tights open, helping her move, sometimes moving his hips closer to her just so she could feel the promise of later. 
Harry let go her trembling body so he could watch her. Taking two steps back he admired her, her body was moving like an erotic dance, one of the straps of her dress was falling of her shoulder, showing him a little bit of the left breast that was covered by the thin fabric of the bra. And then… that was when he saw it: the white stockings. 
“Aren’t you a work of art.. I wish I could paint you right now, make Shiele quiver with jealousy that he didn’t get to capture you” 
She could feel her orgasm approaching, the little flicks of pleasure growing stronger the harder she rolled her hips on the hardwood table. 
“When we get home, I’m going to spread you open, I’m going to kiss and lick every single part of you. I might have to sell my soul just to not come to soon because my body it’s so hot for you. So so hot. Come on, little darling. Come for me” 
And she came.
 Like an avalanche starting from between her legs and making her whole body treble, forming incoherent words and losing its strength. But before she could fall off the desk, his body was back, holding her close and telling her to breath. Taking care of her. 
When she came down completely of her high he took her panties off. She was wide eyes when he smelled and said to himself something among the lines of “delicious”. 
This was only the start of tonight.
.
The wind was hitting Lavignia in the face, getting closer to his neck. His Harley was running around the Italian streets. She no longer felt ashamed for the thoughts going round her head in comparison to their first ride together. 
After their little encounter at the office they went downstairs holding hands. Getting funny looks and a thumbs up from Nessa and Cathy and a smile from Lovelace. 
They danced with people, looked at all of the artwork together for the billionth time, Harry introduced her to a designer that was at the opening and a few other people. When they noticed it was close to 2 am and people were leaving. 
They stayed to help to dismount the stage and be sure nothing happened to the pieces but Lovelace told them to go home. 
So now it was 3 am and Lavignia was taking advantages of her position behind Harry to stuck her nose in his hair and take in his smell. Maybe she needed to see a doctor. She was addicted to his perfume. 
When they finally reached his place, Harry gave her his key to open a little gate so he could park the motorcycle. She noticed that he had a very yellow BMW. 
“Not that I don’t like the Harley but how come you never drive this beauty?” 
“The gallery is so close from my place that I don’t see a reason why. But, I’ll take you for a ride anyday. How ‘bout that?”
She nodded her head while still looking at the car but the moment Harry touched her back, indicating to go in through the backdoor, she stopped everything to follow him. 
They were back to the black and white kitchen. Harry took of his white blazer, now only with the white tank top and the trousers. She could finally see his tattoos now. The naked mermaid, the ship. Lavignia was so hypnotized by him that she didn’t move from the door. 
“See something that you like, darling?” He asked putting the pink glasses on the table together with his blazer. Lavignia didn’t answer anything, closing the door, she walked towards him. Taking off her shoes and putting her purse on the table as well. 
“Can I get you anything?” He asked “some wine” she hugged his middle and nodded her head in a negative “or maybe water? Something to eat?” She noticed his smirk, he was living to tease her, but it was a week long teasing “little darling, if you don’t say anything I’m just going to keep asking. Put those pretty red lips up to good use and tell me what you want” 
“You made me a promise early tonight…” 
“Hey, come on… to be shy on me now” he was so close, the heat of his body could be felt in her back, he was closer and closer till… oh, he was already hard? 
“You said you were going to kiss me…” 
“I was going to kiss when…” 
“You…” she could do it, she could say it “when you are finally inside of me” 
“That’s my girl, come up”
He lead her towards the stairs. Lavignia wanted to see every artwork he had around the house but she was too focused on him (and his damn perfume). Soon enough they were in front of a dark wood door. 
His room had light pink walls, tall floor to ceiling windows and in the middle of the room a huge bed with a canopy. He told her to feel comfortable and she went to sit on the bed with her feet barely touching the ground. 
“Don’t you look pristine sitting all straight and proper. You can get more comfortable darling, I swear the bed isn’t going to bite you” 
He was kneeling in front of her, with both arms at each side of her body. 
“Why are you on your knees?” 
“Because I’m going to pray”
“I didn’t know people prayed before having sex” she joked
“Darling you can’t be serious”  she laughed and he was stuck admiring her but then she stopped at looked at the painting he had on the wall 
“Is that the 1910 painting by Luigi Russollo?” 
“Yeah, I like the way he uses his synesthesia to make the most sensual paintings” he kissed her cheekbones and started making his way down her neck, using his hands to fiddle with her dress. But he wasn’t done yet, we wanted to make her blush a little more “so… can I begging my prayer?” 
When she nodded her head he attacked her left breast over the dress, she was lightly moaning and he was getting dizzy. She was the best type of drug, every little thing seemed to me a new feeling for her and he wanted to watch her while she discovered more and more of the pleasures of the flash. 
“It’s too hot” she said is a whisper 
“Can I take of your dress?” Giving him a small yes, she helped him take of her dress, now, only in her bras and white stocking. She looked like a goodness, deserving its place with next with the Aphrodite back in the gallery. 
Harry used his hands to make her lay and opened her legs. He they started to kiss her legs, going up to the inside of her thigh, when she could feel his breath, he went to her other leg and made the same path. 
When he felt like both of her legs were full of loving,  he kissed just above her little point of pleasure, just to see how she would react. She whispered a little “stay” and he couldn’t wait anymore, he has to pray, he couldn’t delay it anymore so he just gave a full lick from her opening to her mound. Playing with her labia but never touching her clit, he wanted her swollen for him. Anxious for his lips, longing for his cock. 
Using the tip of his fingers, he was playing with her opening, but never actually penetrating her. When he thought she was getting loud enough, he started to suck at her clit the same moment his middle finger entered her. Using a come here motion, he found the button inside of her. 
Lavignia felt like she was in heaven, she was being adored by this man’s mouth and hands. She wanted more, she needed more. Trying to move her hips towards his mouth to get an even better feeling. 
Normally, Harry would hold the person down, but Lavignia looked like an angel and she had such a sweet taste. He just couldn’t so he gave her everything he could and let her take anything she wanted from his mouth and fingers. 
It didn’t take long till she was a trembling mess. Her release was sweet like honey and the most enjoyable thing to watch. 
While she was calming down from her high, Harry got up and took of his shirt, he was sweating too much. Then he help her up the bed and started to kiss her eyelids and comp his finger through her hair. 
“Hi” she said 
“Hey” he gave her a peck on the tip of her nose “do you want anything? Maybe water?” 
“No” she used her leg to press the tent that was appearing in his crotch area “I want what you promised me”
“Are you sure? We can do it tomorrow, I don’t mind if you’re tired. You came pretty hard” 
“Please, I want to feel you” 
“Okay” 
He was hers. Anything she wanted, he would give to her. So, her wish was his command. He stood on his knees and opened his pants never taking his eyes off of her. 
Lavignia was feeling her body burn so much. She was close to the point of hyperventilating, the moment she saw his member spread free. 
“No underwear?” 
“It gets in the way” 
When they were both fully naked (with the exception of her white stocking, “this one stays” he told her) and he was on top of her, he took one of her hands and asked if she has done that before. 
“A few times, almost five years ago” 
“I’ll go slow. Please, hold my hand and tell me if it hurts too badly” 
When she nodded, Harry got hold of himself and started to massage her with it, her clit, her labia, trying to get himself wet with her moisture. That’s when he remembered “on that nightstand I have a lube, it’s water based and smells like orange. Would you mind if I used a bit on both of us? It might help to ease myself into you” 
“Sure” she said with har breath starting to pick up again. So Harry for the bottle and warned her it might be a bit cold. 
Using the gel with both of his fingers, he got in easy, making the same come here movements and sliding his finger out with a “pop” sound. 
When he went to pass on his own dick, she stopped him and with a shy voice asked if she could do it for him. And he said yes. 
So she used both of her hands to be able to get his entire shaft and massaged him, up and down, squeezing when she got to the base and using the top of her finger when it was the head, all following his instructions. 
“Stop” he told her “if you continue I’ll come before we even start and I don’t think I can’t handle anymore” 
So, they were back to the same position as before, he on top of her, both of her legs were intertwined with his, his left hand on her right hand and they mouths finally close to each other.
When he started to enter her, she felt a small burn. It wasnt bad, but she isn’t didn’t knew if it was good. He was slowly easing himself and after a while she decided that it was a good type of burn. 
When Harry was all the way in he finally said: “I’m gonna kiss you now, okay?” 
It was a weird first kiss, but it was perfect. He was inside of her in more ways than he could explain. People say that when you have sex, even if it’s a one night stand, your essence connects with person, and they were connecting in a way that it was rare in any galaxy. 
Then he started to move, painfully slow, they didn’t have anywhere to go, that was no reason to rush. 
“You know, it’s not going to be good for my ego if I come too soon” he told her 
“After a week of reading I was hope for you to blow my mind not to blow your shot too soon” 
“Heeeet, that’s mean” 
He was loving it, he was having sex with the most amazing girl and they were still able to have that banter he loved so much. God, he was going to fall in love with her. He could feel it. 
After that, they let their bodies to the talking. She was moaning and so was he. It was sweet. It was hot. It was everything love and sex is all about. 
When they were done, Harry got them water from the kitchen and a banana. Then she wanted to do it again, so they did it, this time against the bedpost. When they were done, they talked for hours, finally getting to know each other. They feel asleep the sun was already high in the sky and there wasn’t any worry  or shame for her neither any pain for him. They were cured and were ready to begin another journey, this time with one another, another day, another sunlight. 
Day 7: a balcony in Italy https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Paintings-Bedroom-Balcony-In-Italy/1131921/4490457/view
She woke up alone inside the bed, completely naked with the exception of the satin sheets. There was a single sunflower resting on top of the tiny desk next to the bed with a simple paper that read: 
Good morning, bunny 
Get out of the room and take a left. You will find a round wooden stairs that will lead you to the balcony. I’m waiting you for breakfast. 
Getting a purple robe that smelled just like Harry she went upstairs, finding a suspended garden with all types of flowers she could think. There was an old table  that looked from 1930, on top of the same table there was fruits and pancakes. The sunlight was shining from the big balcony, letting the Italian summer fill their lungs and eyes. 
She found Harry sitting  on one of the chairs, wearing a green and white striped shirt with washed blue jeans. She could see he had shaven because there was no scruff but his mustache was still there.  Just from looking at it she feels a chill running down from her back till it reaches her most private parts at the memory of the same mustache passing across all of her body in his always there teasing manner. 
Harry didn’t see Lav at first, but he did listened to her footsteps. Writing something in his journal, not touching his food. Waiting for her. 
“You know... how long are you planning on staring at me? Should I get naked to make it better for you?” He said with a smile on his face, finally looking at her with a shine inside his eyes. One that hasn’t left since they made up yesterday. 
“Sorry I didn’t...”
“Bunny you can stare at me all you want. But I bet you’re hungry, so why don’t you come here and eat with me?”
Lavignia started to walk towards Harry but he stopped her: 
“Naked” that made her pause all of her movements. “Take of your robe love, and come and sit on my lap. Let’s eat together, shall we? I wanna be close to you” Messing with her tangled curls she looked around and at the balcony: what if someone sees me? 
But it only took one look at Harry to know that there is no problem because even if someone sees them: fuck it, right? Isn’t that what she learned from this crazy week?
So she took off her robe, trying to look Harry in the eyes, no matter how much she wanted to look at the ground. Walking towards him, she won a beautiful smile as a present for her courage. 
Now, on his lap, with her back against his front, she relaxed. Maybe was his smell - the fant reminder of the perfume and sex - or the way he kissed the back of her neck and passed his hands through her hair. 
“So what do you want?  We have coffee,orange juice. Bread and eggs. Pancakes and fruits.” 
“Isn’t a bit late to be eating breakfast? It’s almost 3 pm” 
“I mean... we did go to bed almost 8 am. And I see there is nothing bad with having breakfast for lunch” 
With that Harry served her first (she wanted strawberries and pancakes) and then choose a slide of watermelon to start his meal - god knows how much they needed to eat after the night rolling around the bed. 
“How did you have the time to make such a big breakfast?” 
“Oh, I only made the pancakes” he said using his free hand to caress her right thigh “was planning on getting you breakfast in bed, and all of that. You know how smitten I am with you, bunny” he gave her a pitch on the cheek but continued talking: “But Lovelace sent this big breakfast as a thank you for the success that was the opening night yesterday. So I thought: change of plans. Organized everything here and left the note for you. But it didn’t take long because I don’t think I waited more than 20 minutes till you showed up using the robe even if I was very clear that you should come naked” he said giving her a funny look, pretending to be disappointed. 
“Well... I don’t see you being naked” 
“That can be arranged in 30 seconds, if you want” 
She laughed and they continued to eat, the only sounds they could listen was the birds and the faint radio from someone outside, playing a romantic yet cheesy Italian song none of them ever heard. 
Harry was using his free hand to tease her. Pressing his leg upon her mound. She was getting wet, feeling the heat of June so much hotter than actually way,  like she was inside a stove. 
“So, is here that you and your...” Lavignia was curious about his miscellany in bed, but she didn’t want him to feel mad or think she was jealous, she was just curious “guests “yeah, she choose the right word “here to refresh?” 
Harry laughed: “my guests never actually even been here or my bedroom” 
“Oh, so I’m different from all of them?” 
Harry turned her around on his lap,  with both of her legs each side of his waist. He took her head in both hands with a serious look: 
“From the moment I saw you I was captivated. When I noticed how different you were I was so afraid you wouldn’t give me a chance because I have had my fair share of broken heart: from being cheated on to people who just said I can’t imagine the father of my children dressing the way you do all of that hurts, you know? I always give everything of me to the world but I never see the return of something that could be meaningful. And I think you mean something. I know you for only a week but there is a piece of me that wants to get to know you, fuck, even if you didn’t wanted to try and open up for life I would still find a way to be in your life either way. There is something inside those honey colored eyes that made me get so lost inside of them that I started to talk so much nonsense the day we met” he shook his head in a sign of denial “ I know I am a bit out of the usual guy but the first thing you heard from me was about a three way I had just the weekend before, that is no way to met someone you would wanna take out on a date, right” 
“No. I was intimidated. I still am. There is so much I don’t know about the world and I only found out when I walked through that gallery door.” 
“I think we balance each other and I can’t wait to figure it out more of us. If you want” 
“I would like that” 
“So, can I take you out on a date?” 
“Isn’t this a date?” 
“No, I wanna proper wine and dine you. Maybe take you to the movies. Fleetwood Mac is coming to Rome next month, we can have a little weekend getaway together” 
“Okay. You can take me on a date” 
He kissed her with fire in his soul after this. He was so used to being used just for his body or people with the dream of being one of his muses. And now he finally had a chance to start something amazing with this shy girl who is thrust so much in him. 
“Good. Now that is settled, I wanna try something.” 
He raised her up to her feet, opening his pants just enough to free his semi erect cock: “come and sit on me” 
She looked at him with questioning in his eyes: “what about breakfast?” 
“We are going to eat breakfast, come on” and with that she carefully sat on him. Both of them growling. 
He took her plate and gave her a bite of the pancake. Everything seemed surreal for her: he was growing bigger inside of her and she was getting wetter. Every time she tried to move to get a bit of friction he would stop her. So there was only one thing for her to do: accept the food in her mouth and watch when he took bites of his watermelon looking at her. There was just something so erotic about everything. 
“You know” Lavignia said when they were done and Harry rested their plate on the table “you are stuffing me full both ways right now” with that joke they started to laugh together 
“One week ago you wouldn’t say this” Harry noted “I’m proud of you bunny. So proud that I’m going to give you a reward. 
She looked at him, questioning. But he just took his hand and tapped her lips saying: 
“Open up” she opened her mouth “tongue out” 
And he did what she wasn’t expecting but it wasn’t a surprise at all: he sucked her to the inside of his mouth. Using his right hand to pull her hair while the other was getting down her body. 
“Tastes just like strawberries, so fitting for this summer evening” He said before going in for more. 
They started to kiss and his fingers were playing lightly with her clit. Never giving the pleasure necessary but always there... remembering her of the feeling of him inside and outside of her. 
The more they kissed faster he would move his hand in her intimate parts while the other was manhandling her, with a strong grip on her hair, she couldn’t move. She was completely at his mercy. 
When they both couldn’t take it anymore, Harry got hold of her hips, lifting her up and slamming her down his body, sending sparks through both of their bodies. 
In that moment, she was stuck with the feeling of him he was the only thing that mattered. If someone could see them from the balcony: so be it. Even being on top, he was the one making her move. She couldn’t wait till the day she’d have the courage to be the one in charge. 
“I’m not gonna last long” said Harry “sorry” 
“It’s okay...” she said moaning. She was close to coming but from the sounds and the beating of Harry’s heart against her own: he was closer. Following her instinct she started to roll her hips every time he slammed her down, biting his neck and moaning in his ear: just for him. 
It didn’t take long till Harry’s movements got a bit out rhythm so she said: “fill me up, come on. I need to feel you, to see you” 
Harry was a goner. Closing his eyes and opening his mouth. He looked like an angel, if angels could be naughty as him. 
When he opened his eyes, there was this adoration inside the way he looked at her. It was so loving that Lavignia said a little “oh” when he simply got up with her on his lap,used his hand to get whatever was on his way and her threw her on the desk, in the middle of the food, books, flowers. 
He got down on his knees, looked at her through hooded eyes, mouth close to where she needed him the most and said: “second breakfast”
And third. 
And forth. 
The end
Oh, God, this was almost one moth of work and I’m so glad it all turned out just like I wanted, but first, i need to thank someone.
This fic exists thanks to the book “Woman, myth and godness”, it’s a book about the represetation of the woman inside arts, literature. It was how I found out about Sunlight, and fell in love with the concept.
And last but not least: I decided to use an OC because she had such a strong personality I needed to give her a name. If anyone is curious the faceclaim is a south american singer from the 70s called Gal Costa, so yaaay for poc charecter.
Anyway, I hope you guys like it!
39 notes · View notes
winebleeds · 3 years
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sample scenarios & plots based on common themes & tropes i’ve seen on tumblr. may help with interactions & ease into plotting, though each of the muses have their own verses found in their main bio pages that can be found in the navi link on the pinned post (raleigh’s, liz’s, and jamie’s verses are completed, but i am still working on maddie’s, so you can pm me for that). i’ve numbered these where you may reply with said number for this post, if interested, or mention them in the other verses comment in the interest tracker. I am putting this under a read more since it’s long & i may updated this occasionally when ideas comes to mind. you can also message on discord, with that on the pinned post as well. 💖
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GENERAL
G1.    🌌space🌌 in our favorite rocketship  G2.    but especially relating to kohalto, a lore that i can go more in depth with private chats without having the entirely of the lore written out yet. kohalto can also be a dystopian society that’s located on earth. G3.    raleigh, liz, & jamie being part of the same crime syndicate instead of doing their own small scale crimes, either base on your muses lore or one plotted out. they could also be part of a rival syndicate from your muse or the three person crew is getting in the way of your muses crimes.   G4:    more on ellesmere, which can be from your muse riding on the ellesmere trail or the first time on the property. honestly this is more of a setting piece. G5:    speaking of the ellesmere setting, a regency / victorian era plot where ellesmere is in england. could be br*dergton or a*sten based. or just any historical plot with the spencers being equestrians. really just anything in historical periods, from the 80s or ancient. G6.    of course the ever so cliché of  your muse is friends, rivals, or acquainted with raleigh/jamie/liz/maddie & your muse meets jamie/liz/raleigh & either has a fling, relationship, or one sided crush on jamie/raleigh/liz. because liking a friend’s sibling is spicy apparently. G7.    an au where the four spencers work at a restaurant or café. this can be flexible in terms of being in competition with your muse’s place or your muse being a customer / working with them (either with your muse as the owner or working under the spencer business). for the positions themselves, raleigh & liz would be the co-owners/manager as they split tasks (raleigh with employees while liz with accounting, ie), though liz could also serve as a bartender, then jamie as a chef/barista, and maddie as a hostess/server/barista.
 RALEIGH
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R1.    most likely to be a teacher, either with primary, secondary, or uni. probably teaches biology or any science related field. R2.    most likely to pay for your muse coffee or drink at a cafe. or just paying it forward in general. also the most likely to venture into cafes getting his tea or going into a library / bookstore to get a new book. R3.    he likes exploring different areas and, while not believing in any supernatural, would be the most likely to investigate with your muse in haunted places or supernatural things, if only for his curiosity or looking at that nice ivy. outside of supernatural, he’ll just venture in nature. R4.    ANYTHING WITH HIS DOGS. R5.    if he does anything pertaining in the celebrity world, he would be a director or writer. and he would hate the limelight & he just wants to be creative. R6.    most likely to be the oblivious one that won’t realize there’s a relationship. so ig slow burn. and anything awkward or friends to lovers. but also most likely to talk to any ex’s again, for anything romantic. R7.    someone to talk nerdy to him. or influencing his chaotic side & doing dumb things together.  for more platonic or general relationships.  R8.    would offer his space if someone needs somewhere to live or stich up close. he’s a gentle mom friend when someone gets close enough to him. can be supportive of younger muses.
ELIZABETH
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E1.    most likely to be a lawyer or politician aide. any position that her father would prefer her to have over an engineering. E2.    most likely to be part of your muses’ own business if she’s shooting for a higher position within it, like cfo or ceo or just the executive board. mainly for fashion design but anything in general. E3.    for any of her older verses, then she could be a CEO, politician (senate), or a professor for a uni with engineering. E4.    for her becoming a celebrity, then a musician similar to... yeah. so country to indie pop & has a reputation similar to her modern. maddie probably writes the lyrics for liz though. i just can’t see liz getting into acting rip, though she could produce. E5.    horses. neigh. that’s all. but even an au where she runs ellesmere or has a horse pasture herself... with her own winery. E6.    mostly likely for slow burns & rivals / enemies to lovers, for anything romantic. also the most likely to have one night stands or just ghost your muse. E7.    most likely to have wine nights with your muse. or being someone that, while blunt, your muse ends up talking to because liz listens. or your muse just sees through liz’s icey bs & befriends her.  E8.    also the most likely to “adopt” or being extra supportive your muse if they need a home, physically or emotionally. or just needs someone to remind them to finish that resume & proofread papers. the most stern mom friend, but a caring mom friend nevertheless. 
JAMIE
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J0. his name is benjamin james spencer, & his nickname was benny but now is ben (because i love you charlie) J1.    most likely to go into acting once his football career vanished.  J2.    most likely to be a firefight too, especially if his cousin nick had more inspiration with jamie. J3.    most likely to fight your muse if your muse is confrontational & filled with testosterone. so someone fight his ass. OH, could even be a boxing au if jamie is like, forgetting about his own physical health. but this easily fits in modern if you muse ever ticks jamie off. J4.    so jamie is actually the biggest animal out of the four, so him going to animal shelters or horses or dealing with his cat or your muses’ pets. would definitely get his softer side here. could even be him running ellesmere. J5.    BODYGUARD AU. J6.    also the most likely to fall into the fake dating trope. can have one night stands as well, but doesn’t like them as much anymore. J7.    your muse being someone that jamie felt he wronged in his younger years, such as being a jerk in college or having puked on your muse then blaming them for it, you know, his darker period. and, now, he’s reconnecting in order to apologize about the things he’s done wrong. could go swell or angsty. J8:    most likely to be the one your muse has to “adopt” or support whenever he does dumb things. someone tell him not to get into fights. so having a paternal / older sibling figure.
MADDIE
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M1.    her being a known bassist / rock star with her band & has that celebrity status within the alternative / rock / metal genres. but she could also be part of your muse’s band or genre sphere. M2.    most likely to be in college with your muse, where maddie lives in a dorm instead with liz or have classes together... though likely to skip those classes. M3.    most likely to be a tattoo artist or running a flowershop. M4.    is the one that likes being around artists, being an artist herself.  M5.    mostly likely be a waitress or bartend, practically when she doesn’t go to college. M6.    being part of her cousin’s motorcycle gang. M7.    most likely be to accept your muse as an older platonic figure or even like a sibling to her. someone to guide her in life as she grows into her own.
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lockdownfest · 4 years
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Lock Down Fest Masterpost PART I (20-30 March)
1917
feed me just enough that i’ll never need a cage by Cunninglinguist. (E) 7.4k,  Tom Blake/William Schofield. “Come on.” Sco stops walking, runs a hand over the faintest marking on a tree trunk. “It’s just a little farther now.” “I’m coming.” Tom huffs a sigh, yanking his shotgun strap over his shoulder so the barrel lands in his hands. They’ve been on the road for nearly a week now, an unfortunate consequence of their last shelter getting swarmed by an army of dead ones. Though skinning rabbits to eat over hastily made fires and taking turns sleeping against trees, spending the days and nights consumed with fear, and jumping each time a stick cracked were hardly desirable circumstances, it certainly wasn’t their longest or harshest stint on the run. They had endured worse, by far, and Tom had no doubt that this particular stretch of time would come to an end when Sco said it would. He knows the way, he always knows the way. Plus, Tom wouldn’t want to spend this time with anyone else in the entire world.
If The World Was Ending by RisingShadows. (not rated) 3.7k, Tom Blake/William Schofield.  When a dangerous virus begins spreading across the country William Schofield and Tom Blake quickly find themselves the last two standing of the team working in their lab.
AKB48
#unmeida by summoninglupine. (G), 788 words. Sashihara Rino/Watanabe Mayu, Kashiwagi Yuki/Watanabe Mayu.  Ready for an all-girl vacation in Okinawa, Watanabe Mayu doesn't see why she has to be the one to nursemaid their sick tour guide. Things would be different, she is sure, if Yuki was there!
ALL FOR THE GAME
I see truth somewhere in your eyes by DeyaAmaya. (M) 2.8k, Kevin Day/Thea Muldani, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, other background relationships. In a moment of insanity, Kevin decides to check Instagram. In the multitude of inane celebrity posts telling the mass people to stay home, he finds a lovely, recent photography of Thea. Someone from their College took it. The lighting perfectly captured the dried tear tracks down her unmoving face. Kevin disregards the emotional caption and instead checks the date. 18 March, the night he-  (The night he thought he had a hallucination.)
Quarantine and exy by Fornavn.  FANART. (G) 116 words, Andrew/Neil.  The monsters is stuck at home while coved-19 is terrorizing the world. They are bored.
ANNE OF GREEN GABLES
Alone and in a Circumstance by middlemarch. (T) 700 words, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Marilla Cuthbert & Anne Shirley, Diana Barry & Anne Shirley. Anne had a key, so she let herself in, quiet as a mouse, arms laden with bags from the market. Her sophomore class's papers on A Tale of Two Cities were poking out almost jauntily from the quilted bag Diana got her for her birthday.
AVENGERS ASSEMBLE
Worry by Neverever. (T) 2.4k, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark.  During the pandemic, Steve wants help the best he can but immuno-compromised Tony worries about his company and his health.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
Poetry and Plants by the_many_splendored. (T) 1.9k, Adam/Belle. It's amazing how much you can open up to a person when you're locked in a bookstore reading together.
BELLEVUE
Knives and Lighters by goreds. (M) 2.1k, Annie Ryder/Peter Welland.  Annie Ryder finds herself in Bellevue's psychiatric hospital. She pretends to tolerate the whole experience, even if she really hates it. When a new, quiet guy comes to the ward, though, she finds herself intrigued.
BLACK SAILS
If this is Our Last Night by remuirius. (E) 2.3k, Captain Flint/John Silver. Silver and Flint are locked up together on the Walrus. Certain of their looming death at an enraged crew’s hands, Silver finds the courage to do things he’d only dreamed of until now.
BLACKKKLANSMAN
Someone Like Him by cowboykylux. (M) 2.2k, Flip Zimmerman/Reader. 'If there was one thing true more than anything else about all the reasons you loved him, it was that once your husband had his heart set on something, he was going to accomplish it.' Or, a sudden snow-storm cancels your plans for a date, and Flip Zimmerman decides that nothing, not even snow, will get in the way of treating you to something special.
BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA
Tell me it won’t always be this hard by Graendal. (T) 4.3k, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto. He’d met Midoriya a few months ago during a field trip to the library. The kids had adored him, of course, even the ones who were usually shy about participating in new activities. Midoriya had a way of projecting a sense of all-encompassing safety and comfort with just his smile.Shouto had adored him too, maybe, even back then. A silly crush that had only grown during every subsequent field trip — which is truly absurd, considering the vast majority of their interactions at the time consisted of occasional eye contact while singing children’s songs.But now that they’ve spent hours talking almost every day for the past few weeks… calling it a silly crush might be an understatement. The idea that he’s actually been able to help Midoriya through this is inordinately pleasing.If there’s a silver lining to this at all — for him personally, at least — it’s that he’d seen Midoriya’s post requesting a virtual board game buddy. And that Midoriya is a patient enough person to teach Shouto how to play everything from scratch. He’d actually seemed excited at the opportunity.Maybe the opportunity for any sort of ongoing social interaction is worthy of excitement. These are strange times.
CALL THE MIDWIFE
Sanctuary (In Each Other) by WednesdayGilfillian. (T) 2.6k, Bernadette-Shelagh Turner/Patrick Turner. Set during the Christmas Special in S2. Specifically, during the unsettled night that Shelagh turned up on Patrick's doorstep.
CAPTIVE PRINCE
When We Went from Strangers to This by Aerica_Menai. (T) 3.5k, Damen/Laurent. Laurent is really sick, and decides to shut himself in his apartment and deal with it alone. His downstairs neighbor, Damen, gets worried enough to check on him, which went just fine - and then Damen got himself locked in. Featuring Star Trek TOS, coming outs both accidental and intentional, and Damen being his usual sunshine puppy self.
DCU
would you lie with me by Glove23. (G) 660 words, Diana (Wonder Woman)/Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne. Bruce catches a virus, and Diana and Clark come to help him.
DEADPOOL/SPIDERMAN
Avengers Monopoly by MsCaptainWinchester. (E) 1.4k, PeterParker/Wade Wilson, James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers. The Avengers are quarantined in Avengers Tower, and Peter and Wade see this as the perfect opportunity to try the new Avengers Monopoly set. They have their own house rules for property negotiation. No one told Tony. Oops?
omg they were quarantined by Jdragon122, LunaStories. (M) 2.6k, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson. Spidey has a cold and Deadpool, being the sexy boyfriend he is, goes to take care of his baby boy. But they're under quarantine and oh no, there's no more lube? What should they do?
Superheroes Don’t Get Scared by DefendersofMCUniverse. (T) 3.6k,  Peter Parker/Wade Wilson. Peter, fresh out of college, gets invited to the tower to stay in one of the guest floors that has been left unoccupied for some time since the previous tenant ‘hero’ decided to leave for unknown reasons. Of course, a few weeks into living there and getting into a routine, the last hero pops onto his balcony. Peter offers for him to stay on his old floor because the dude looks like he could use a familiar place, and also dude is kinda terrifying, and like hell he is gonna admit that to the other heroes in the tower.
DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN
Games. Family. Love. by heizl, NickEllis1314. (G) 1.8k, Carl Manfred & Markus. Because of some rebellious protesters, Androids, and owners of said Androids, were ordered to stay inside. It'd been a long day of restlessness, and boredom, and Markus was almost genuinely excited to get Carl to bed so it could all finally be over. Carl wasn't exactly tired yet though, so they reminiscence for awhile.
DOCTOR WHO
What We Did During Our Quarantine by badxwolfxrising. (M) 4.6k WIP, Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler. Rose and the Metacrisis Doctor return to Torchwood from Bad Wolf Bay and are placed in a mandatory 72 hour quarantine. However will they pass the time? }:-)
DRAGON AGE II
shaking fingers, open palms by asexualf. (T) 2.4k, Fenris/Merrill. Kirkwall has issued her people remain in their homes until the sickness overtaking the city is gone. As always, the Alienage suffers the most under this new rule - and those who enforce it.
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
Three in a room by Tagus Knoll. (T, Underage) 4.6k, Kazuto/Darius Maynor/Chester Hayes. When Kazuto finds out they all have to be in the same room, he didn't expect that Chester, Darius and him end up dating.
FALL OUT BOY
‘Cause Everything Else is a Substitute for your Love by PadawanRyan. (G) 1.9k, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz.  Patrick and Pete are each self-isolating with their kids during the coronavirus pandemic but well, Patrick’s in Chicago and Pete’s in LA.
quarantine, or: how to land a boyfriend in 14 days by TooRational. (T) 6k, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz.  Patrick turns his head in Pete's direction and sees him, Patrick sees him, and his frown goes up a notch, and a fisted hand settles on one hip in that typical Patrick-is-a-grandma-pose, and Pete grins and runs full-tilt into Patrick's arms, disbalancing them both until they slam into the side of the house, tangled and half-frozen and definitely soon-to-be-bruised. He interrupts whatever rant Patrick had prepared that starts with 'you idiot' by tucking his frozen nose into Patrick's neck and sucking the warm air coming from Patrick's skin into greedy lungs, and grins even wider when Patrick yelps, offended as he always is by a breach of his personal space.
FIRE EMBLEM SERIES
Shelter from the Storm by Dameceles. (T) 4k, Elincia Ridell Crimea/Tibarn.  It's a dark and stormy night when Elincia lends aid to Tibarn. He wants to return the favor, but she doesn’t have wings.
FRONTIER
Fever 1793 by goreds. (M, MCD) 2k, Samuel Grant, Cobb Ponds. Cobbs Pond and Samuel Grant experience the yellow fever epidemic in Philadelphia, 1793. One of them gets better.
FROZEN
It all comes out in the wash by middlemarch. (G) 1.1k, Anna/Kristoff.  She'd knocked. Really, she had. It was their en suite bathroom, the room he said was over-the-top and extravagant and aggressively tiled, so it wasn't exactly her fault that she'd effectively barged in on him.
GAME OF THRONES
The Luckiest Man in the Whole F***ing World by OrangeTabby. (M) 7.2k, Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark. Sandor Clegane is in isolation at home after picking up the virus in the line of duty. Luckily, he’s got his cat for company and plenty of rubbish TV to stream. Then Stranger decided to go next door for a visit…. A story about friendship, food, romance and dubious television. And a pandemic.
GARGOYLES
Cabin Holiday by Isimile. (M) 1.2k, David Xanatos/Janine “Fox” Xanatos, Owen Burnett/ David Xanatos/Janine “Fox” Xanatos.  After everything that happened, they decide to spend a week away in a cabin, to relax and to perhaps talk about their relationship. They're unexpectedly snowed in, which triggers memories of the Unseelie War.
GILMORE GIRLS
How dare the robins sing by middlemarch. (T) 900 words, Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano, Dean Forester/Rory Gilmore, Dean Forester & Jess Mariano, Luke Danes & Jess Mariano. The two of them, the diner, for how long? At least the coffee shipment had made it in time. What he wouldn't have given for a fifth of Jack-- or anyone else. Literally, anyone.
HAIKYUU!!
Anchor by farfetched. (G) 5.3k, Semi Eita/Tendou Satori. Spreading their arms out either side of them, they stare at the ceiling. This is pulling on them in so many ways they didn't expect; laying here, on Tendou's floor, in Tendou's clothes, right down to their underwear because who expects a lockdown to get enforced overnight? They didn't bring anything much. They should have. They ought to chance going home. But they can't, so they don't. Home is an empty place right now anyway, and here there is food and laughter and music and in between all that is their realisation that they're not so over this Tendou thing after all.
Lockdown by needles. (T) 1.5k, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru.  You never know what will escape from a box when you open it, just ask Pandora. For some it may be a disaster, for Iwaizumi could it be a golden opportunity?
Lockdown With A Fox by runningfromrealitytoanime. (T) 4.1k, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi.  Sakusa Kiyomi was a very careful person when it came to cleanliness so what happens if a certain setter with no sense of hygiene crashes at his place when Japan goes under a 2 week lockdown period?
HANNIBAL
Crumbles of unfulfilled expectations by Cinnamaldeide. (M) 11.9k, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter and other multi. Collection of ficlets of the length of a tweet or two ❀
Professor Graham’s Cheekbones Hotty & Extraordinary Foodie Husband by TheSilverQueen. (T) 3.3k,  Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter. Online classes due to the quarantine are Professor Graham's students learn that: 1) Professor Graham has a cute dog; 2) Professor Graham is married; and 3) Professor Graham's husband is smoking hot.
HARRY POTTER
A Long Night on The Bus by CuriousEmWanders. (E) 3.5k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. In which Draco & Harry are Auror partners stuck on a bus overnight. Draco has some memories that cause him to make some choices. Smut ensues, obviously.
A Pandemic by Theodore_Writes. (T) 611 words WIP, Luna Lovegood & Weasley Family. A new strain of Dragon Pox breaks out becoming a global pandemic. Many were unaware due to Fudge covering it up in an attempt to look better as a minister but when Xenophilius Malfoy/Lovegood reveals to his long time friend Arthur Weasley about what is happening around the world the entire Weasley family is horrified and takes immediate action. This is the story of what happens when a pandemic hits the Magical and Muggle world's.
A Welcome Distraction by MaesterChill. (E) 2.9k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Draco and Harry get trapped in a Ministry lift. Whatever shall they do to distract themselves?
An Intangible Embrace by Drarrelie. (G) 365 words, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Harry is bored. Thank Merlin his husband had finally agreed to start using Muggle mobiles after Score was born, or he would've surely gone mad now.
And on the Seventh Day... by slytherco. FANART. (T) 0 words,  During an Auror raid, Harry and Draco are separated from their partners and end up being hunted by the wrong people. Desperate times require desperate measures, so both men are sent to an unmarked location where a temporary safe house was set up for them. Stuck for Merlin knows how long, they have plenty of time to examine their turbulent relationship.
“Are you sure you know how to play that?” by julchen_in_red. FANART. (G) 0 words, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. Harry and Draco offer comfort and entertainment to their neighborhood under lockdown by performing a traditional wizards' evening ballad on their balcony.
Better Side of the Bed by gnarf. (T) 2k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  It was all Malfoy's fault. Harry could be at the Burrow right now, but instead he was trapped in Malfoy's tiny flat. All because that dick couldn't stop bothering him about a stupid life debt he didn't even care about.
Breaking Point by Drarrelie. (T) 365 words, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  After almost two years as Auror partners, they've learned to function quite well together most of the time. Right now, though, Malfoy seems to be more on edge than ever.
Civil Hands (Unclean) by p1013. (E) 8.5k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. While he and Malfoy reached something like a truce in the years between the end of the War and now, their Quidditch rivalry has only grown. And with it, a simmering tension that is absolutely not sexual, no matter how many times Hermione raises her eyebrow when Harry's drinking at her and Ron's house. Not even when his head is resting on the kitchen table next to his empty glass, and he's moaning about Draco bloody Malfoy, and his bloody perfect seat on a broom, and his bloody perfect technique.But as Harry stares over his teammates heads towards the Puddlemere United bench, he catches a flash of wet white-blond hair and flashing grey eyes, and he thinks that Hermione's eyebrow might have a point.
Conservation for Beginners by Aneiria. (E) 4.6k, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy. Hermione Granger didn't think twice about taking guardianship of Hoddholm Island for the summer. A deserted, peaceful island among the endangered Golden Snidgets is just what she needs to escape the anxieties that the end of the war brought with it. When Draco Malfoy arrives as the other guardian and they are left to themselves for a month, they both seem to be struggling in their own ways. Can they be there for each other when they most need it?
Exposure by Bridgette_Hayden. (M) 2.6k, Harry Potter/Severus Snape.  Snape and Harry volunteer to quarantine themselves for charity, and to comfort the world. Isolation leaves them feeling exposed. 
Flames by Aneiria. (E) 3.9k, Hermione Granger/Theodore Nott, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott.  The whole of the Ministry of Magic and its workers are forced into an in-place lockdown quarantine following a magical accident at the DMLE. When Hermione Granger and Theo Nott are put into isolation away from their boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, how will the triad cope?
G Guess I'm Stuck With You by LittleSixx. (T) 4k, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy.  Draco and Hermione are stuck in a Ministry lift on New Year's Eve.
In a Week by Suchsmallhands. (M, MCD) 12.4k, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin.  Sirius goes under quarantine in his flat, but fortunately he was able to get some reading material and a friend to keep him occupied during isolation.
Into the Wine Cellar by vivi1138. (E) 2.5k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Harry should know better than to touch random objects that do not belong to him. Getting stuck in a cellar with Malfoy, of all people, leads to an interesting development.
Lockdown with the Malfoys by a_reader_and_writer. (G) 1.2k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy. Dracos's parents are just visiting Harry and Draco for their weekly dinner when the Ministry of Magic announces a total lockdown. Awkward situations happen.
Lockdown Husband by Houseofmalfoy. (T) 4.7k,  Rodolphus Lestrange/Augustus Rookwood. "Got ready to leave after a hook-up for the guy to break the news that we’re on lockdown. We’re stuck together. this is the start of my bad rom-com."
Risk and Reward by nagemeikenu. (G) 2.6k, Rodolphus Lestrange/Augustus Rookwood. Augustus (Gus) Rookwood manages to survive completely alone in a burned down cabin for nearly three weeks. He's rescued by a gorgeous state trooper. Fluff ensues.
She’s A Rainbow by Ladderofyears. (M) 4.8k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Draco never dreamt that he'd have to give birth without Harry, but when his beloved husband is put under MACUSA quarantine, he finds that he doesn't have a choice. With all the bravery he can muster, the best friend in the whole world and a pilfered magic mirror, Draco discovers that hope can be found even when you least expect it.
Stay with me through the storm by Pinkelephant42. FANART. (NR) 23 words, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Dragon Keeper Draco finds ways to keep his boyfriend Harry on the dragon retreat longer. Harry probably doesn’t mind.
Ten below and falling by agentmoppet. (E) 8.6k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  In which a pandemic results in Harry being locked in the Astronomy tower with Malfoy while they struggle to find the cure.
The Question of When by Misdemeanor1331. (G) 5.3k, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy.  When a global pandemic emerges, Draco and Hermione are once again called upon to discover a vaccine.
Unlikely Quarantine fellows by Isimile. (T) 861 words, Neville Longbottom & Blaise Zabini.  Neville and Blaise are quarantined together following an accident in their potions class and they get talking.
HAWAII FIVE-O
Spring Break by stephmex. (T) 3.5k, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams.  Danny had been looking forward to this trip for weeks, ever since the Christmas holidays when he had planned the Spring Break vacation together with Grace. But as much as he’d been looking forward to it, boarding the plane with Charlie's small hand grasped tightly in his own feels slightly off. One thing feeling off is this stupid new virus that you just can’t ignore because the news coverage is all over the place. The other thing feeling off goes by the name of Steve—and Danny is leaving him behind with insomnia and a concussion and the sure knowledge that there is something that Steve is not telling him.
HOUSE OF CARDS
Skilled Hands and Talented Tongues by goreds. (M) 1.2k, Remy Danton/Jackie Sharp/Alan Cooke. Frank Underwood's made enemies, so it's no surprise that Jackie Sharp and Remy Danton get locked down due to a threat during one of their meetings at the White House. But Alan Cooke's there too, which just creates a brand new dynamic.
IT
Isolated by Slashaddict96. (T) 1.3k, Connor Bowers/Richie Tozier.  Richie and his parents get stuck isolated at the hospital when a dangerous outbreak occurs. What's worse it's with his least favorite person
IWATOBI SWIM CLUB (MAZE RUNNER CROSSOVER)
Free from the Maze by runningfromrealitytoanime. (Graphic Depictions of Violence, MCD). 33k, WIP, Gen.  Haru finds himself without his memories except for his name before he was chucked into the Glade populated entirely by boys. As he tries to make sense of his new life amongst the Gladers, Haru realizes there is only one goal in mind: to run and escape the Maze.
KINGSMAN
Rarely Pure and Never Simple by andthenshesaid-write. (T) 2.3k, Harry Hart/Gary “Eggsy” Unwin.  Eggsy and Harry get stuck in a train. Some important things need to be said.
LITTLE WOMEN
a party hardly ever goes the way it is planned by middlemarch. (G) 900 words, Theodore Laurence/Amy March, Friedrich Bhaer/Josephine March.  Teddy had written she must come. He had run out of arguments.
Distances by MercuryGray. (G) 1.5k WIP, John Brooke/Margaret March.  A Modern March AU - In the midst of global pandemic, the March and Brooke families are trying hold it together.
MCU
Bracing by babywarg. (G) 2.5k, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange. In which Tony Stark makes a few declarations in response to a disease outbreak, and brooks no dissent.
Must Love Dogs (Right Here at the End of the Line) by bookjunkiecat. (G) 2.3k, Bucky & PTSD, Bucky & Pal (dog), Bucky & Steve.  During the virus pandemic, an already fragile Bucky has to venture out to pick up more of his very necessary meds. Returning home, he has a panic attack and retreats into an alley. While there he rescues a dog...or rather, the dog rescues him. Once he calms down, Bucky calls a veternarian's office, and reaches a warm, calm man named Steve.
Take Two by heyjupiter. (T) 14.1k, Bruce Banner/Tony Stark. When Tony Stark is injured in Afghanistan, he wakes up in captivity to find that a mysterious American doctor has plugged his heart into a car battery and saved his life. Tony is determined to repay the favor; when he escapes from the Ten Rings, he's taking Bruce Banner with him.
MERCY STREET
I took my Power in my hand by middlemarch. (G) 1.9k, Jedediah Foster/Mary Phinney.  It wouldn't do to consider just what it was that had spilled. It was war, it was a kitchen with a corrupt steward, it was a rapidly warming April in Virginia and the man she wasn't supposed to have any finer feelings for was looking at her quizzically.
MERLIN
Merlin Versus Quarantine by coconutknightshade. (T) 1.3k WIP, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Leon/Morgana. Merlin isn't quite 50 Shades of Done with Quarantine, but he and Arthur do have dry-erase "Day's Since Last Meltdown" boards mounted in the kitchen.
The Night Is So Long When Everything’s Wrong by Hum My Name. (G) 4.2k, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon. One month after banishing Merlin, Arthur's given a message in the form of a dirty red neckerchief. His ex-manservant's been captured and the captors want the king to pay the ransom.Going after Merlin is the easy part. Spending a long night in a small cell with no one but Merlin with him is a bit more difficult.
MIRACULOUS LADYBUG
Love Bug by onetruthree. (T) 3.3k, Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng.  Marinette feels the safest with her friends by her side. But when the dead come back to life, that safety is tested.
Quiet by BookGirlFan. (G) 669 words, Chat Noir & Ladybug. Ladybug and Chat Noir sit on a rooftop in an empty Paris.
MIRAGE
Murder Scarecrow and His Pissed-Off Handler by goreds. (M) 1.7k, Gabriel Taylor/Doug Marsh. Gabriel screwed up a fairly simple mission, and now he and Doug are trapped in a tiny safe house somewhere in Eastern Europe. Sort-of romance ensues.
NCT
I Go Where You Go by CocoaBop. (T) 5k, Dong Si Cheng/Lee Taeyong. Taeyong thought he was prepared for another global pandemic. But this pandemic was different. In just a few weeks of isolation, Sicheng went from the shy, awkward roommate Taeyong rarely saw to his only anchor to the outside world.
OCEAN’S 8
Every Princess Needs a Castle by ShadowHaloedAngel. (T) 1.3k, Lou Miller/Debbie Ocean. Being stuck inside is sending Debbie a little bit crazy, even though she knows it's for a good reason. Fortunately she has Lou and a foster dog to help keep her sane.
Your Princess Is In Another Castle by ShadowHaloedAngel. (T) 3.3k, Nine Ball/Tammy. Nine Ball decides if she's going to be locked down, she'd rather it was with Tammy and her kids.
ONE DIRECTION
and the sun will shine by leighbot. (G) 5.1k, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles. They're practicing self-isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic. Two little boys shouldn't be too hard to entertain, right?
PITCH PERFECT
Basic Sickness by CamGray. (M), 1.3k, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. Chloe snaps the mask over her face and replies, “I was always smart, you just weren’t paying attention.  Vet school didn’t hurt either.  Now come on.  I’m going to rest, why don’t you go get some work done.  You can’t nanny me all day.  You’ve got more important things to do.” Beca shakes her head.  “What could be more important than this?”  She says, stressing each syllable.
Dry Spell by aliciameade. (E) 2.7k, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. Tumblr prompt: Just imagine Beca and Chloe casually watching a porno together and when I say “casually” I mean “getting horny and ending up doing it right there.”
High-Speed Connection by aliciameade. (E) 4.1k, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Aubrey Posen, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell/Aubrey Posen. So Beca is a bit of an exhibitionist. So what? What could possibly happen when she decides to play with Chloe while she Skypes with Aubrey?Sin. Sin is what happens.
Ready Or Not by aliciameade. (E) 4.6k, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. In a time of social-distancing, Beca and Chloe finally find a way to pass the time.
She’s Such a Bad Girl by CamGray. (E) 711 words, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. “Chloe!” Chloe pauses her singing to call back to Beca. “Yes, love of my life?” Beca rounds the corner. “You’ve sung ‘Work From Home’ every day for the past 128 days. You know I love your singing voice, but can you please, for the love of the Carona gods, do something else.” Chloe pouts. “Well what should I do?”“I don’t know. I’m about to clean the house.” Chloe flips her hair flirtatiously and rests her arms loosely on Beca’s shoulders before saying, “You do too much. You’re not Superman you know.”
Watch Our Bodies Intertwine by tmylm. (E) 7.2k,  Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell.  Beca and Chloe are quarantined (yes, another "and they were quarantined!" fic) in Beca's Los Angeles home. Beca has managed to push away the feelings she harbored for Chloe back in college—they're adults now, she can behave herself. Or so she thinks.
you are my favorite thing by iPhone. (M) 3.2k. Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell.  Beca and Chloe find themselves alone in their apartment after the instruction comes to self-isolate. Set pre-PP3. Just pretend PP3 doesn’t exist.
POLDARK
Tenderness is not like money by middlemarch. (T) 599 words, Demelza Carne/Ross Poldark, Demelza Carne & Dwight Enys.  What was the real crime?
QUEEN
Stay Right Where You Are by Stormtrooperinclogs. (T) 2k, John Deacon/Brian May, Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor.  Brian and John are under government-mandated quarantine because of the virus. What are they gonna do???
RED WHITE & ROYAL BLUE
bend the rules by perfect-porcelain. (E) 6.8k,  Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor.  Alex is stuck inside with his roommate Liam and Liam's boyfriend Spencer and he thinks he's going to go insane but when his neighbor in the alleyway across from his window moves in he supposes that the quarantine won't be so bad after all.
Just Checking In by JessJesstheBest. (G) 1k, Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor.  In an au where COVID-19 happens to Henry and Alex, they try and stay connected through self-isolation.
SHADOWHUNTERS
Malec Malaise by Fluxx. (G) 2.9k, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood.  Magnus has a cold! In the absence of his magic, it seems he managed to catch some common Mundane bug. Well, that should be fine. Nothing a little rest and tea can't take care of... right?
SHERLOCK
Going Viral by trillian_jdc. (G) 1.1k WIP, Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade.  Mycroft Holmes has been exposed to the coronavirus and prepares to self-quarantine, which he's very used to. His isolation is accidentally interrupted by Greg Lestrade, who winds up sheltering in place with him.
Thank You John by AnAnYaH. (G), 352 words, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson.  Quarantine day fic.
SHETLAND
Remote Communities by aurorlaura. (T) 3.4k, Duncan Hunter/Jimmy Perez.  Jimmy Perez, Duncan Hunter and their daughter Cassie experience the Covid-19 lockdown in Shetland.
STAR TREK: PICARD
Of Malady and Mother by Boldlynyooming. (G) 4.1k, Elnor & Zani. There was an outbreak of Beluxian flu on Vashti, and Elnor was not allowed to go out.
STAR TREK: VOYAGER
Confined To Quarters by ShayneyL. (E) 1.6k, Harry Kim/Tom Paris. Tom and Harry are in trouble again. Will they find a way to entertain themselves while confined to quarters? (Spoiler: yes.)
Social Distance by MiaCooper. (T) 1.2k, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway. The terrible trials of a captain in quarantine.
STAR WARS
Fever of Love by ladyofreylo. (E) 8.1k, Rey/Flip Zimmerman.  Rey and Flip shelter in the library overnight during a flu epidemic. Rey believes Flip is part of a racist group, and Flip can't tell Rey he's undercover because it jeopardizes his investigation. He asks her to trust him. Will she? And will she allow him to help her friend's brain-damaged brother escape the clutches of the evil organization?
I Know You by Idrilhadhafang. (M) 739 words, WIP, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren.  After a dogfight outside the Raddus, Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren are trapped on a planet below, with no memories for either of them and only being able to rely on each other.
Please don’t take him just because you can by middlemarch. (T), 911 words, Finn & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Finn & Rey & Rose Tico. It wasn't a terrible job, it was the pandemic. Rey kept telling herself that, hoping she'd believe it. Or that it would all turn out to be a bad dream caused by eating government cheese before bed. Still, there were bright spots.
Something To Look Forward To by spacewitchqueen. (G) 1k, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren.  While self-isolating, Kylo manages to make a new acquaintance. Perhaps even a new friend? Perhaps in time something more.
There’s been a Death, in the opposite house by middlemarch.  (G) 100 words, Kylo Ren/Rey.  Crisis was supposed to bring out the best in people. That was the silver lining, Rey was pretty sure that was the line anyway.
STAR WARS LEGENDS
Cabin Fever by Keldae. (G) 1k, Gen. Theron hates being locked down in one location on the best of days. Being isolated with only a Sith Lord, an irate Wookiee, and (the head of) a protocol droid that won't shut up for company? He's pretty sure he's in at least the second Corellian hell.
Pinned Down by Keldae. (T) 696 words, Female Jedi Knight/Theron Shan.  The only option is to stay hidden inside and hope for a rescue.
The Waiting Game by Greyias. (T) 4.4k, Female Jedi Knight/Theron Shan, Satele Shan & Theron Shan. The worst part about all of this was the waiting. Theron hated standing on the sidelines as everyone else risked their lives. He needed something to do. Anything to keep him distracted from his own thoughts.
SUPERGIRL
Darkest Before The Dawn by Val_Creative. (T) 1.4k, Kara Danvers/Lena Luther.  Lena ends up diagnosed with a serious virus. Kara gets a little panicky about this and worries enough to visit her.
SUPERNATURAL
Fourteen Days and Four Dozen Eggs by Mandala Rose. (E) 5.6k, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester.  As the Milton-Winchester household prepare to hunker down and #flattenthecurve, Dean makes a trip to the grocery store, for what was supposed to be their normal weekly grocery run. After all, they aren't the kind of people to panic and over-buy, right?
Hickory Dickory Dean by Carrieosity. (M) 2k,  Castiel/Dean Winchester.  When Castiel's library has to close because of the coronavirus pandemic, the librarians need to get a little creative in order to keep serving the community. Castiel has no problem recording virtual storytimes, but when it comes to adding in songs and things, he needs to call in a little extra help.
Knock by hit_the_books. (E) 2.5k, Castiel/Dean Winchester, past Dean Winchester/Lisa Braeden. Dean and Cas have been living together as roommates for about a year when the COVID-19 pandemic forces Douglas County health officials to issue a "stay at home" order. With Dean working from home and Cas trapped there with him, Dean starts to realize that he doesn't really know much about the younger man he's living with. And then he knocks on and opens up Cas's bedroom door one day and discovers far more than he was expecting.
It'll Be Fine. by ChloeDarling. (G) 1.4k,  Castiel/Dean Winchester.  Forced to self-isolate, Castiel finds himself succumbing to the boredom as he runs out of ways to keep himself entertained. Luckily, Dean Winchester has a plan to save the day.
Next Time, I Choose Death by CeliPuff, Winchesterlovr0508. (M) 1.2k,  Castiel/Dean Winchester.  In light of this pandemic, I decided to write some daily journal entries on how we survived the 14 day quarantine. It’s me, my brother and my best friend, what can go wrong?
No Dent by spnsmile. FANFIC AND FANART (E) 7k, Castiel/Dean Winchester. Because the Impala is the best place to lock Dean and Castiel away when in the middle of another fight. They really need to talk and close the distance created by their stubborn heads. At least, Jack thought so.
Throw Away the Key by CeliPuff, Ketch22. (E) 2.1k WIP,  Castiel/Dean Winchester. multiple other relationships. After his father dies and leaves him nothing but the coolest car ever manufactured, the whole world turns to shit. Caught in the middle of a pandemic while attending the funeral, Dean is told he can’t return home and has to find somewhere else to ride out the mandatory month-long quarantine. Out of options, he calls his best friend Benny.Cas has lived with Benny for awhile - the bed was comfy, rent was cheap... the orgies were just a bonus. It wasn’t a half-bad place to live out a permanent bachelor lifestyle, or an irritating lockdown - but he’s about to get more than he bargained for when Benny takes in a stray.
Outbreak 2019 by spnsmile. FANFIC AND FANART (T) 1.7k, Castiel/Dean Winchester.  There's a spreading virus around and against it the medical staff are in the front lines. Castiel is a doctor and he just texted his husband he's positive of the virus.He awaits his fate in silence thinking of Dean.
THE 100
In Fair Corona by eternaleponine. (M) 8.3k, Clarke Griffin/Lexa. While returning from a service trip abroad, Lexa volunteers to take another flight when theirs is overbooked, and Clarke is forced to accompany her. When someone on the flight gets sick, they find themselves quarantined far from home with only each other for company. Can they overcome their differences and realize that they're in this together?
THE AVENGERS/MASS EFFECT TRILOGY
Stuck with You by sgteam14283. (G) 3.3k WIP, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Female Ryder/James Vega, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard. Adults can handle being stuck somewhere for a long period of time. For the most part.
THE EXPANSE
How to Have Fun in Quarantine at the UN by goreds. (M) 1.4k, Chrisjen Avasarala/Sadavir Errinwright, Arjun/Chrisjen Avasarala.  Chrisjen Avasarala and the whole of the United Nations, including Sadavir Errinwright, are on lockdown during a pandemic. Mild non-social distancing ensues.
THE FLASH
Between Hope and Fear by Purpleyin. (T) 4.1k, Cisco Ramon/Hartley Rathaway.  During the pandemic, Hartley tries to help. He tries to keep going and do whatever he can, from a distance. Everything is going as well as can be expected, until his world comes crashing down with one phone call from Caitlin Snow.
THE GRISHA TRILOGY
watch the world go by by JemDoe. (T) 823 words, Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov. “The plague of 758 was a very serious issue, made worse by the Fold, Alina. Supplies were so hard to reach to the other side of the country…” “Wipe that smile off your face before talking about a plague that was made worse by your actions, then."
THE HOBBIT
Cave in by Isimile. (T) 1k, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield. Of course the cave in has to happen just when Bilbo is accompanying Thorin to a visit of the newly re-opened mines. Thorin just have the worst luck.
THE LORD OF THE RINGS
Nowhere else by Roselightfairy. (T) 1.2k, Gimli/Legolas Greenleaf. In preparation of an anticipated attack from nearby Dunland, Éomer has ordered that Aglarond go into lockdown.At least Legolas and Gimli are together.
THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES
a melody played in a penny arcade by aguntoaknifefight. (T) 2.7k, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas. Jon is trapped in the Institute. Things change.Or: Peter Lukas’s post-divorce pettiness inadvertently saves the world.
THE SIMARILLION AND OTHER HISTORIES OF MIDDLE-EARTH
A WORLD WITHOUT GRANDPARENTS by bluehair. (G) 1k, Maglor & Finwe.  I really didn't plan this. But it wanted to be written.
THE SOFT DOCTRINE OF IMAGINOS
On the Wrong SIde of the Mirror by Imaginos_Buzzardo_Desdinova. (M) 2.1k, Gen.  Trapped on the wrong side of mirror, Imaginos must find his way back to stop the evil Desdinova. He finds only one other person who also was tricked into the mirror.
THE TERROR
Lift Fire by Gigi_Sinclair. (G) 2.5k, Thomas Jopson/Lt Edward Little.  "Tom doesn't speak, either, until there's a strange grinding groan, the lights flicker, and the lift shudders to an unexpected stop.Oh, you have to be joking, Edward thinks, as Tom says, 'I'd heard they'd been having some problems with this one.'"
Look for the Helpers by goreds. (T) 1.2k, Captain Francis Crozier/Commander James Fitzjames.  Dr. Francis Crozier, stuck at home, lends a hand to his sick next-door neighbor, James Fitzjames.
THE TRANSFORMERS
Maybe it’s enough by choomchoom. (T) 2.8k, Drift/Rodimus, Prowl/Starscream. The boys deal with the pandemic.
Quarantined by pipermca. (G) 2.7k, Gen. Even when the Decepticons are forced into quarantine to stop the spread of a deadly disease, Soundwave still has work to do. If only his cassettes would keep it down...
THE UNTAMED
The Usefulness of Bunnies as Messengers is Strictly Dependant on the Bunny In Question by theskyandsea. (G) 2.8k, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is quarantined in an apartment with Jiang Cheng and it's going about as well as one would expect. Which is to say, the second Wei Wuxian discovers just how hot his across-the-street neighbour is he jumps at the opportunity to talk to someone else.Even if that talking is through the medium of messenger bunnies.
We’re on a boat and... by chatcolat. (T) 1.4k, Gen. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian get stuck on a boat and accidentally end up talking to each other for five minutes while they wait for rescue.
THE WITCHER
Carefully We Gather by tackytiger. (M) 2.4k,  Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier. They've been snowed in at the inn for six days now, and Jaskier still isn't speaking to Geralt.It's just, killing monsters is what Geralt does. Just because this one came a little bit too close to killing him first, doesn't mean that Jaskier has to get in a sulk about it. And why does he care so much, anyway?
Distanced Dears by jaskiersvalley. (T) 2.2k, Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier, Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach/Geralt of Rivia, Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu, Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach/Jaskier, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer/Cahir.  Given the fact Geralt worked in the Accident and Emergency department, it was highly likely he would catch the virus, even with every precaution. Not wanting to put his whole family at risk, he and Cahir move into Cahir's old flat and they try to weather the storm by themselves when Geralt does get infected.
No More Water, but Fire Next Time by ladivvinatravestia. (T) 7.7k, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier.  Jaskier and Ciri take shelter at a refugee camp following the fall of Cintra, where they find that Pestilence and War often ride together.
oh my god they were plague-mates by wombatpop. (T) 4.3k, Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier. “They’ve closed the streets, Geralt. We’re stuck in here.” Jaskier and Geralt stuck in an inn together. What could go wrong?
The Fortnight by Elizabeth. (E) 7.5k, Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier.  A plague is ravaging the Northern Kingdoms. First Oxenfurt is locked down, and then Novigrad. Geralt is immune, but Jaskier isn't. Rosemary and Thyme is a pretty nice place to spend a fortnight, but it's still a long time to spend with just one person--even if that person is your best friend.A lot can happen in two weeks.
Trouble In Here by Val_Creative. (M) 2.5k,  Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier. Jaskier accidentally barricades himself into Geralt’s room when he’s been cursed, forcing them to isolate together.
YU-GI-OH! DUEL MONSTERS
And they were quarantine-mates by Alecto. (T) 4.8k, Jounouchi Katsuya/Kaiba Seto. The order came down while they slept. Now Kaiba was stranded at Joey's place for the foreseeable future.
YUYU HAKUSHO: GHOST FILES
Six Feet Apart by Penguiduck. (G) 2.4k, Kurama/Reader.  You've only been living in your condo for two months, but you have yet to meet your neighbor. When you're sentenced to working from home due to the recent COVID-19 virus, you step onto your shared balcony for the first time. You meet Shuichi and really like him. The only problem? You have to stay six feet apart.
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littledata · 4 years
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Kara first becomes aware that Lena has a legion of seven evil exes hellbent on destroying her life when she gets home to find “Stay away from Lena Luthor” spray-painted on her apartment door. Her first thought is the culprit must be Lex Luthor, but spray paint seems a little inelegant for him, and besides, it’s just a bit too coincidental that the crime occurs the day after she shared dinner, drinks and a foot-pop inducing first kiss with the CEO of L-Corp. She rather doubts Lex found out about that from inside his supermax prison cell.
“I might have an idea who’s behind it.” Lena says sheepishly when she arrives to survey the damage. “I do have these seven evil exes who try to kill anyone I date.” When Kara suggests that this was perhaps something she should have mentioned after the aforementioned dinner, drinks, and earth-shattering kiss, Lena holds up her hands defensively. “I assumed it wouldn’t be a problem. I mean, you are a superhero.”
There’s just one issue with that superhero plan though, as Alex points out when she shows up to take a look at Kara’s vandalised door. The legion of seven evil exes who are now hellbent on destroying Kara’s life only think Lena is dating Kara Danvers, not Supergirl. So when they show up to fight her she can’t actually punch them into space without revealing her secret identity. She either deals with this problem as Kara Danvers or outs herself to a group of heartbroken supervillains.
So what does Kara Danvers do when she’s confronted with a legion of seven evil exes hellbent on destroying her life? She makes friends with them. Obviously.
1. Michael. Lena dated Michael for three weeks when she was fifteen because he had an earring and rode a motorbike. She was in the midst of a rebellious phase where she was trying her damndest to piss off her mother, and it worked until Michael suggested she drop out of high school to tour the country with his band. Even aged fifteen, Lena Luthor was nobody’s groupie. In the intervening years, he had racked up a couple of minor felonies (he was responsible for the spray paint) and was now playing bass in a Nickelback cover band. Kara agrees to hand out flyers for their next gig, and he tells her that she’s “totally kick-ass” like he’s from a 90s teen movie, then agrees he won’t try to murder her. She has to stand on a street corner in the cold for three hours, but it’s worth it when Lena shows up with hot cocoa, plants a warm kiss on her freezing nose, and tells her she looks cute in her scarf.
2. Madison. Kara first becomes aware of Madison when she is pelted with soccer balls by a small herd of children out of the windows of a mini-van. After she makes her escape, she forces an embarrassed Lena to explain that Madison was part of her first experimental steps into sleeping with women. They had hooked up once in their freshman year of college before Madison met a man, settled down and had four kids in quick succession. Kara has to find out for herself, buried somewhere in the depths of Madison’s mommy blog, that Lena had ruined her sex life with her future husband forever by giving her the only orgasm she would ever have.  Kara ignores her friends’ rather lewd suggestions of how she could get in her good books, and instead stays up all night baking cookies and brings them to Madison’s PTA fundraiser. She arrives home that night to Lena brandishing three large pizzas and a lewd suggestion of her own.
3. Prisha. Kara knows all about Prisha. She’s beautiful and intelligent and perfect, she’s a hot-shot prosecutor and she has a blackbelt in Judo and Kara hates her guts. Lena only ever references her vaguely, but Kara does manage to get out of her that Lena was eyeing up engagement rings before she found out Prisha was cheating on her, and after that Kara just hates her even more. She’s actually determined not to befriend this particular ex until she receives a court summons for an unpaid parking ticket. Kara Danvers has never parked illegally in her life. She offers Prisha Supergirl’s number so that she can get in a few sparring sessions to train against someone really tough (under the influence of kryptonite, of course), and that means she gets to make friends with her and punch her in the face. “You do know you’re the only person I care about dating right now, don’t you?” Lena asks her later with a teasing smile, and Kara feels a little bit guilty about the whole punching thing.
4. Simon. Lena broke up with Simon after he stole some of her PHD research, published it under his own name and used the resulting exposure to start a multi-billion dollar tech company. He still frequently appears in the news for the human rights violations in his company warehouses. He sends a delivery driver to do his dirty work for him, who hands Kara an exploding pen when he asks her to sign for her package. Admittedly, this might have actually worked if she wasn’t an alien, and Kara isn’t exactly thrilled by the thought of attempting to make nice with Simon. She is excellent at gift-giving though and finally hits on what every Silicon Valley tech bro really wants: she talks Winn into hacking his social media pages and making his twitter advertising campaign go viral. She tells Lena she’s starting to worry about just how bad she is at picking her relationships, and Lena points out that her current girlfriend is pretty great. It’s the first time she’s said it, and Kara melts.
5. Jensen. Jensen was Lena’s final attempt at pleasing her parents and dating men, back around the time of the whole Lex-Luthor-tries-to-kill-Superman fiasco. It seemed like it would make Thanksgiving a little less awkward, Lena explains, and Kara supposes she can’t argue with that logic. Their relationship might have even worked out if both of them hadn’t been very, very gay, and although they parted on amicable enough terms, that doesn’t stop Jensen from trying to poison Kara with tainted cupcakes from the bakery he owns. The cupcakes are really good though, if you ignore the arsenic, so once Kara finds out he owns a bakery she becomes one of his best customers, and inside of a month she and Jensen are regularly meeting up for coffee. He’s not really evil, just kind of dramatic, and Lena pouts adorably when Kara teases that she could say the same thing about her.
6. Rosa. Kara finds out about Rosa when she receives a call from the National City jail warning her away from Lena. Lena looks faintly embarrassed when she admits that she dated Rosa for a couple of months until she realised the other woman was stealing from her apartment and attempting to milk every penny she could out of her. Which, yeah, Kara supposes you’re at risk of that when you’re an incredibly attractive, single billionaire, but Lena seems to think she should have known something was amiss in advance. Apparently, Rosa is very well connected in the organised crime world though, because she definitely recognises the goons who jump her and Alex outside of her apartment building as being from a local mob family. Said goons didn’t exactly expect to be contending with an over-protective Danvers sister though, and they’re seen off very quickly. Alex is less than impressed when Kara starts up a penpal friendship with Rosa, despite her little sister’s insistence that Rosa was mostly blackmailed into most of her crimes by her underworld family members. Lena, who perhaps understands a problematic family more than many people, sighs and says, “Well, you forgive people. That’s what makes you Kara.”
7. Clara. Kara has absolutely no idea what Lena saw in Clara. She’s nothing like any of Lena’s other exes, doesn’t even have much in common with her, and it isn’t until Alex has tears of laughter running down her face that she kind of sees it. Clara has long blonde hair, blues eyes, glasses, favours button-ups and - oh okay fine, she’s a dead ringer for Kara. She does an excellent imitation of Kara on the phone and attempts to break up with Lena, but gives herself away when she mentions eating a salad for lunch. Kara gets in touch with a talent agency she knows through CatCo and helps Clara get a steady gig as a Supergirl lookalike. When she asks Lena what she was thinking when she slept with her, Lena gives a small shrug. “I was head over heels in love with my best friend but not quite ready to admit it yet.” 
“Am I in danger of becoming evil if you ever break up with me?” Kara asks once the legion of seven evil exes hellbent on destroying her life have all been successfully befriended and neutralised. She expects Lena to make a joke about Supergirl never turning evil, but Lena just gives her a curious look instead.
“What makes you think I’m ever going to break up with you?”
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auburnfamilynews · 4 years
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Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports
Time to Barn Hard
Here we go... With under 24 hours until the kickoff of Auburn’s 2020 season, the luminaries here at College & Magnolia offer their sage opinions on what Tiger fans will see tomorrow afternoon. Most of us see a close contest destined to give us that all too familiar fall Saturday heartburn but there are a few brave souls who are prepared to barn hard no matter what.
Auburn (-7.5) vs Kentucky (O/U 49.5)
2019 Auburn fans won’t recognize 2020 Auburn. Bo Nix is going to take a huge leap forward. His receivers are healthy for game one. Our fearless leader has finally found someone he trusts enough to manage playcalling duties. The defense will reload with All-Conference (and maybe All-American) talent. A talented (and deep!) group of hard-hitting running backs. Pre-season optimism has overwhelmed pre-game jitters for me. Look for Chad Morris to show off all his weapons Saturday. He has a tendency to put up a lot of points in his first game at a new school. Brace yourselves, Wildcats. Let’s barn hard, yall.
Auburn 48
Kentucky 14
-Josh Dub
I was talking with a friend of my wife’s the other day and she asked how I thought Auburn would do. I was raised by an old school Auburn fan who taught me to sandbag and say that we were just hoping that everyone buckled their chin straps correctly and that they just had fun out there. That was met with my wife telling her, I always do this. I responded by saying that I just lower the bar so that, when they win by 40 in a game I don’t expect, I get the rush of being a kid again and genuinely happy when Auburn wins.
That said! HERE WE GO!
Auburn has got stars everywhere on the outside and in the backfield but a bunch of green horns on the starting line on offense, so IF Chad Morris (or Gus if he is still calling the plays) can use quick screens and....this route called a slant...to hide the fact that the Auburn offensive line will look a lot like the French army circa 1938, then they might buy a few chances for Anders to kick some field goals.
On defense, you don’t lose D Brown and Marlon and get better. You probably don’t maintain the production you had last year on the D-Line. You can get back there, but that takes time and experience. That said, I am a bit more bullish on the defense as a whole. There is a ton of talent to go around on the line and the secondary and the Linebackers may be the best in the conference. Once again, the defense will keep Auburn in every game for the most part. And that new line will be tested against a really well coached, running offense that Kentucky brings to the Plains.
I love what Mark Stoops has been able to build in Lexington, and sort of done what Matt Campbell has done at Iowa State, that team you just don’t want to see cause they are scrappy and will take advantage of your mistakes. On the betting lines, I am staying away from this one with spendy cashy monies but with fakey non-existant moneies, I love the Cats getting a touchdown and a hook because I see this one being in the 3-4 range with Auburn probably winning, just based on history and going with my heart, but I could totally see Kentucky pulling this off as well.
Gimme Auburn over Kentucky 27-24 and the defense had to get a late stop to seal this one away. Nothing like a late missed FG to start that stomach ulcer.
(betting pick: UK and the points, Over at 51)
-Drew Mac
Auburn *should* win this game. Auburn *should* have the talent advantage. But hey, this is 2020. Who knows what havoc Covid will have wrought on install for any given team.
That being said, I trust Bo Nix’s development as a true sophomore. I think this Auburn team, while still going through some growing pains, will finally start to hit on explosive plays with a veteran WR corps. This Kentucky defense is not the one that one 10 games two years ago.
The only way things go sideways is if the retooled defensive line can’t stop the Kentucky ground game, which is an extremely valid concern. The Wildcats have three returning backs who combined for 1,900 yards and 18 TDs while sharing the spotlight with Lynn Bowden Jr last year, and Terry Wilson is no slouch. I think the Auburn linebackers are going to have to earn their keep as best LB group in the SEC here in week 1.
Auburn takes this one with some big plays through the air and a defense that bucks up in the second half. 27-13 Auburn.
-Ryan Sterritt
I’m a huge proponent of playing a patsy in week 1. In a normal season fall camp doesn’t really give a complete picture of how an offensive line communicates in real time, how well the quarterback has his timing down with his receivers, if the tailback has fumbling problems, mike linebacker being able to switch the defensive alignment based on tendencies, etc. etc. But if you can’t play a patsy I’m a huge proponent of playing a top 10 team who will keep you engaged without distractions leading up to kickoff and will tell you so much about where you can go from here. What you don’t want is a trap game in week 1.
Folks what we have here is a trap game in week 1.
We’re 14 points better than Kentucky. I genuinely believe that. Talent wise and coaching we’re at least 2 scores better than this football team at home. And it does not matter one bit thanks to COVID.
I am so concerned over what we’re going to look like out there considering how many guys were held out at various points of our extended fall camp thanks to COVID. Which wouldn’t be as big of a deal in a normal year, even though it would still be a big deal, but OH YEAH WE HAD NO SPRING PRACTICE. So in keeping with my tradition of being absolutely God awful at Barnin’ Hard, this tiger ain’t changing his stripes for this one.
Keys to victory:
- Stop a Kentucky ground attack with a defensive line that is fully capable of plugging the gaps and have your linebackers make plays in space. This will only work if our corners, who will be in a lot of one on one situations, make plays. Jaylin Simpson is the guy that will get picked on, and this is a fine opportunity for the redshirt freshman to get thrown into the deep end to see if he’ll sink or swim in his first meaningful snaps. If he can hold his own, we’re in good shape.
- Establish an intermediate passing attack early in this game. Keep their defense off balance early on the offensive script and allow Bo Nix and an offensive line that will struggle but has a higher ceiling than that of the last 2 seasons gain some confidence early.
- Get the fastest player in all of college football 10 touches/targets for the day. This one may appear in all 10 entries of “Keys to Victory” for our schedule this year. Scheme to get Anthony Schwartz the ball in multiple ways. And then scheme off of it to get other players in positions to be in favorable coverages.
- Rotate your running backs in a way that makes sense instead of giving the “guy with the hot hand” 25 carries. This running back room is deeper and more talented than it has been since the healthy parts of 2016/2017 for Pettway and KJ. Give these guys a chance to punish Kentucky’s defense with fresh legs for 4 quarters. Make them hate playing us.
- Oh, and finally, get some sound sleep and show up alert for an 11 AM kickoff. I don’t need to explain to any of you why this is obviously something we should all worry over.
All in all I think being at home does matter, despite 20,000 people in the stands. Traveling in these uncertain times has to account for something, right?
Auburn 27 Kentucky 21
-Josh Black
If the first few weeks of football are any indication, I’m expecting some low scoring sloppy games on Saturday. And while Auburn’s rivals have essentially “warmup games” to start their season, Auburn will play another ranked opponent in Week 1. That’s JABA right?
Anyways, I’m really excited to see this group of Running Backs led by Captain Shaun Shivers this season. I’m really excited to see Shaun get the opportunity to start and it’ll be interesting to see how many carries he and the rest of the RBs get on Saturday. This is an experienced receiving corps too led by Seth Williams, “Flash” Anthony Schwartz and veteran Eli Stove.
The biggest question to me (other than the offensive line) will be the defensive line as it’s hard replacing Derrick Brown and Marlon Davidson. And we can all hope for better O-Line play this season and a more mature Bo Nix as he enters Year 2 as the starting QB.
As I said earlier, I’m thinking this is a low-scoring game and I’m a bit concerned about this one, with the 11AM kick and all but I’ll take Auburn in a close one.
Auburn 17 Kentucky 14
-Will McLaughlin
I firmly believe Auburn has a significant talent advantage at the skill positions in this matchup. Yes the Cats have an athletic QB, a strong stable of backs, intriguing WRs and a surprisingly good secondary but across the board I’ll take Auburn. However, it won’t matter if the Tigers lose the line of scrimmage battle which is way more likely than any of us wanna imagine.
As you have probably read, heard, seen by now, Kentucky has one of the best offensive lines in the country. This isn’t a group made up of 3-star kids with heart. Left tackle Landon Young was a 5-star recruit. Center Drake Jackson was a 4-star ranked as a top 150 player. Future NFLer Darian Kinnard was a 4-star recruit as well. This is both an experienced AND talented front who enjoy physically beating the hell out of their opponents. Everyone in the world knew that a run play was likely coming last fall and it rarely mattered. While I trust Rodney Garner & Kevin Steele to rebuild this front 4 for the Tigers, I am concerned about them being ready to go week 1. Even with Derrick Brown and Marlon Davidson last year, Oregon pushed around the Tigers for one half. This UK OL is of the same calibre and it wouldn’t shock me if they came out the gate with similar success.
Then there’s the other side of the ball where the UK return plenty of experience of a solid front 7. However, they were actually pretty porous against the run last fall allowing over 5 yards a carry against SEC competition. The problem is I am not sure if Auburn is ready to take advantage. In most years, when I see a defense susceptible to the run, I expect an AU victory that borders on dominant. I just don’t know if the Tigers though will be ready to go on Saturday.
That’s why Anders Carlson will be the x-factor. I think Auburn’s offense will look disjointed but generate enough explosive plays to get into UK territory consistently. They don’t put the ball in the end zone as much as we would like but Anders knocks through 4 big kicks. The defense rebounds from a rough first quarter to limit the UK offense to only 2 touchdowns on the day. Auburn recovers a late onside kick to escape with a hard won victory.
Auburn 26 Kentucky 20
-AU Nerd
Auburn at 11am.
Auburn in season openers.
Auburn as favorites vs hungry teams.
Yuck. I am finding it hard to Barn as hard...——record scratch—-
(The boys are back in town starts playing)
Just kidding!
The Boys are back!
Guys we are gonna kill em.
Auburn 34- Kats 24
-Son of Crow
Most of the time I have some idea of what to expect. There’s a gut feeling, an inkling, an intuition. Even days when I publicly avow a big win, and we end up losing, I realize that I knew it deep in my soul. This time, I have nothing. I guess that’s what 2020 will do to a man. I can’t pick this game with my heart or my gut, so I have to go with the limited knowledge that we’ve been able to glean from the practice fields. Somehow, Gus has kept it tighter than usual this season. He’s keeping spies, leaks, and COVID out of the fold.
It’s not a big secret that Auburn’s level of talent is superior across the board, but Kentucky might have the mix of experience to go along with its skill to make this a very scary opening contest. We’ve heard that the Wildcats’ lines are both going to be solid, and that gives us a flashback of what the Oregon offense was able to do for about a half last year in Arlington. Auburn can’t afford a slow start on Saturday, because we’ll be breaking in a new offensive line. Now, that might not be the worst thing in the world — our line last year was nothing much to write home about — but they started to get better down the stretch. That said, this year’s group might be more maulers than linemen. Sometimes you just need some dudes being guys up front to push people around. We might have that, thus the run game could come to life with a much more talented group in the backfield. Not to mention, Bo Nix’s sophomore development with a true quarterback coach could be something unparalleled.
Kentucky will give us a fight, but there’s no way I’m picking us to lose this game. It’ll probably be close, and uncomfortably so for a while I’d wager. Still, the home “crowd” and the overall talent win out in the end. I think someone else mentioned Anders Carlson being a weapon in this one, and I agree. I think he hits 3 kicks and Auburn scores 3 touchdowns. Tigers 30-21.
-Jack Condon
In our preseason predictions I pegged this as one of the three games that Auburn could lose, and had it at the top of my list as the one I’m most worried about. That may seem weird, but we really just have no clue how any team, including our own is going to look on Saturday. We’ve all seen how bad some of these other teams already playing have looked, and I guess people think that there’s no way their own team could look that bad, but I’m not so sure. That said, I believe this Auburn team has all the components necessary to be better than last season and thus easily handle a Kentucky team that is, well they’re Kentucky. The new look offense should give an older, more seasoned Bo Nix a chance to throw some higher percentage passes, we have an SEC caliber stable of running backs for the first time in a couple of seasons, and presumably a fully healthy group of receivers. The new-look offensive line doesn’t concern me at all, because, well, I’ve lived through the last two seasons. At this point Kevin Steele and co. have earned my utmost confidence that the defense will pick up right where they left off.
Tigers 37 - Cats 12
-AU Chief
Man alive I wish I wasn’t so worried about this. Kentucky is well coached. They know what they are, and they don’t try to do things outside their comfort zone. Their strengths could cause problems for us. And yet, Auburn has more talent. 2020 is going to be a weird year, but I think having better athletes is going to win out more often than not, because teams are going to have to keep things simple. I like everything I’m hearing out of fall camp. I still don’t know about that line though. I could see a backdoor cover for UK where Auburn has to recover an onside kick to clinch things. I could see a front door cover for Auburn putting the game away late. I’ll stay on the safe side.
Auburn 24
Kentucky 17
(Auburn wins, UK covers; under)
-James Jones
from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/9/25/21456468/staff-picks-8-auburn-vs-23-kentucky
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toast-connoisseur · 4 years
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all the colors!
Answered these earlier so I’ll repost☺️
zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please! -I’m exhausted. Working and home life are draining. The current state of the world also has so much going on and I so desperately wish I could instantly fix everything at the same time.
cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? -Laughter
lemon; what’s your comfort food? -It depends on my mood tbh but usually something chocolatey
hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song? -I don’t consider any of my music worth being called a guilty pleasure but I do like the song titled Guilty Pleasure by Cobra Starship
yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of! -Straight Line Stitch
naples yellow; where do you feel most at home? -Right now I can’t really say I have a place. Used to be Disneyland.
raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? -My best friends
golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend. -I’m lucky to have several close friends and each relationship is very different but ultimately we can speak our minds with each other and laugh about random stupidities for hours.
golden deep; what’s your favorite season? -Fall
cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off? -See my friends usually, but now I mostly sleep.
orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad? -Yes. I hate doing that though. I don’t want others to feel sad because I’m sad and I don’t like bothering people.
titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? -Relaxing evenings. Mornings stress me out no matter what.
shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? -No, I already finished the newest season of Queer Eye.
red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)? -I am both for sure and I think anyone that knows me would agree.
burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? -I’m not good with memorizing the names of paintings. While I have had this experience before, I don’t recall what they’re all named.
english red; what animal do you relate to most? -A puppy. Always learning new info and has too much energy at times.
vermilion; what’s your favorite accent? -It’s a tie between a Cuban accent (looove speaking Spanish with Cubans) and an Australian accent.
cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? -I think so? I guess my type is someone who can keep up with me and make me laugh so hard I cry.
scarlet; describe your current crush/es. -Nonexistent.
ruby; what does your ideal first date look like? -Honestly just sitting somewhere quiet, like the beach, and talking nonsense about anything and everything.
carmine; what does your ideal second date look like? -Maybe something fun like a bar/club or even going to the movies (I find that very fun)
madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date? -Yes. As long as it feels right, I’ll always accept a kiss.
rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now? -I graduated college! But that’s dying down so I’ll have to find something new soon.
quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? -The world being a safer place in every aspect of the word.
violet rose; what does your dream house look like? -I like open spaces and lots of rooms to decorate yet do nothing with.
violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? -I’d love to stay in the LA area but it’s a big bitch money-wise.
blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down? -I think I be done it already. I’d love to have my dream job but I wouldn’t mind settling down whilst looking for that too.
cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to? -Multnomah Falls
ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it? -I was getting ready to see my friends.
blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember? -Last night I dreamt that I went back in time to meet myself as a child but I encountered everyone else but me.
bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each? -I’d love a big family. Wife and as many kids as we can comfortable afford, preferably 4 maybe? A dog, maybe an aquarium?
blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could? -I don’t really care for my name but I wouldn’t even know what to change it to tbh. I tried when I became a US citizen but it didn’t work out.
prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent? -Anything clean or the smell of fresh baked goods.
azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any? -I don’t like tea.
turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant? -I actually had this thought the other day and I want a garden so bad I feel like I’d plant whatever I could get my hands on and easily manage.
cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog? -Maybe. Sounds super fun to do without viewers but I wouldn’t want to deal with the mean people/comments. Ruins the fun.
glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives. -Curvaceous.
yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario? -Birds chirping, butterflies flying around, a slight breeze that’s not too chilly yet saves me from the heat of the sun on my face.
green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better? -Not really. I require more stability than what is being offered to me at the moment but it’s really expensive to be out on my own here.
green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them? -I could name them all and know I probably won’t get around to many. Life is messy and expensive. France and Greece sound nice though.
emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn? -Spanish. Both English and Spanish are basically my native languages and I speak both fluently and most times people don’t know which is my primary language.
oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book? -Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far? -Nothing at the moment.
mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh? -Saved!
burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself? -Take a fat nap.
umber; have you drank enough water today? -It’s 6AM so, no.
voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent? -Selena
sepia; name five things that always make you happy. -My best friends, Disneyland, food, coloring, watching movies, and drinking
indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received? -When people tell them I make them feel safe enough to tell me anything.
payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic? -I honestly think it varies on a day to day basis but mostly like retro I guess?
black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful!
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stannerofall · 5 years
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Carry Me Home - Part One
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Type: fanfic
Pairing: Jungkook x reader
Summary: You move to Seoul with your parents and hate being there, until you meet a tall dark stranger..
Chapter One: Tall Dark Stranger
I’m in Seoul. Fucking. Seoul. My mom and dad had been talking about moving here for such a long time. I just thought it was a crazy dream of theirs, but after my father got a job offer at a IPG Legal Law Firm everything went really fast. And I hate it. I loved the place we lived before in the middle of Salt Lake City. We had a big house filled with walls that just begged to be painted. I had just finished a mural of me, my family and my friends in my room, then, just a few hours afterwards, my parents broke the news. I was heartbroken. I had to paint my room a couple of days later and managed to capture a picture of the mural before it was whisked away and then again just a white wall.
Then I had to break the news to everyone else. First, I had to tell my boyfriend, Adam, that I was moving to a country on the opposite side of the world, which he definitely wasn’t happy about. He begged me to stay with him in Utah, but I couldn’t afford it and my parents were stubborn in their decision to bring me with them. “It’s going to be great, just you wait and see.” Yeah, moving 6,000 miles away from everything and everyone you know seems fun.. I promised Adam that I would message him every day and he promised me the same. Then I had to break the news to my best friend, Anna. I think we cried for about three hours straight, until we both looked like absolute monsters, dark circles under our eyes from mascara and red eyes worse than a pink-eye breakout. We both started laughing uncontrollably for several minutes and then started crying again. My mom fiddles with the key for the new apartment, eagerly trying to open the door to her “dream apartment”. I sigh heavely and take the key from her hand, putting it in the lock after one try. “Thank you, honey” she says, and I move out of the way so she can slam open the door. My dad and I look at each other and he shrugs his shoulders and smiles. I do a minor eyeroll but follow him inside. I’m almost blinded by the white walls that dominate the hallway walls which lead directly into the living room/kitchen. Yes, my American parents wanted an open concept kitchen and a living room the squarefoot space of three apartments combined. What a surprise. The lowered living room has a giant window in front of it which takes up all space of that wall.
“Isn’t it great, Lily?” my mom asks.
“If by great you mean excessive to the absolute fullest, then yes.” I say. My mom stops looking in the kitchen cabinets and turns around to give me a sympathetic look.
“I know it’s a lot to move here, away from all your friends and Adam, but can’t you try to just enjoy it a little?” she asks. I look at her feeling a little guilty, but I’m still too mad to forgive her.
“I just don’t understand why you couldn’t lend me money so I could stay in Utah, when you have money for a place like this. It’s not fair.” I say and turn around to go find my bedroom.
Even though I would rather go back to Utah, I must say that I love my new room. Again, everything is way too white, but nothing a little paint can’t fix. The room is at the end of the building meaning I have two windows that meet at the corner of my room. I have a great view over the city and I already know that I’m going to use a lot of my time here, listening to music and dreaming of being someone and somewhere else. My mother knocks on the door and slowly steps inside my room.
“Sooo, what do you think?” she says, anticipating my answer.
“It’s okay, I guess.” I turn around and face her, and she gives me a bright smile. She has her hands behind her back, as if she’s hiding something.
“What’s that behind your back?” I ask, still with a dissatisfied expression on my face and my arms crossed.
She puts out her hands and hand me a card. It reads “Homi Art Shop” – Giftcard. I glance at her with a confused look on my face.
“Your dad and I talked about using the spare room as a guest bedroom, but also as your new studio, so you have a place to work. That is a giftcard to a big arts and crafts store just a few blocks from here. There should be enough money on there to buy new equipment.”
I widen my eyes. My own studio?! I didn’t have that back home, so I just used all the walls I could get my hands on and painted them. I’m in shock, looking at the card, then at my mom, then back at the card, then back at my mom. She looks at me in anticipation. I can feel the tears coming, so I put my arms around her and hug her tightly.
“Thank you.” I mutter into her shoulder, tears rolling down my face. She lays a hand on my head and the other around my back, and we stand there for a few seconds, until dad shouts from the kitchen.
“Hey, I think our furniture just arrived!”
 Moving in takes a lot of time, and after several hours we only have the big pieces of furniture ready and in place. My room is plastered with boxes and I don’t know where to start, so naturally I take my huge beanbag, throw it in the window corner, sit down, plug my headphones in and start blasting Bring Me the Horizon till my ears start bleeding.
I must have fallen asleep, because my mom shakes my shoulder and I quickly take out my headphones.
“Did you hear what I said?” she asks.
“No, sorry, what was it?”
“I asked if you wanted to go with me down to the grocery shop so we can stock up the fridge.” I look at her, knowing that if I say no I have to deal with all the boxes, and that’s just not something I wanna do right now. But I really don’t want to go with my mom and pick out the best offer on chicken either.
“I actually thought of going down to the arts and crafts shop and buy new equipment, so I could have the studio ready before school starts.” I say. I was accepted to attend Seoul National University College of Fine Arts which was one of the few things I was looking forward to.
“Oh, you don’t want any company? Maybe dad can help you carry it home?” I know she only says this because she’s worried that I will get lost. I am not the best at finding my way around new places, so my parents always keep an eye on me when we are out.
“Mom, if I have to live here for a long period of time, don’t you think I should find out how to get around? Besides, I have my phone, so if I get lost I can just use Google Maps. I already have the address in my phone, so don’t worry.” I can see my mom is contemplating whether or not to cancel her grocery plans and go with me.
“I am also almost 20 years old. You have to stop treating me like I’m still 5.” I can see that this convinces her by the look on her face shifting from concerned to smiling a little.
“Fine, but if you are not home in an hour, I’m calling the cops and I will send the whole police force out looking for your ass.” She’s trying to sound intimidating, but I just smile and nod.
 I follow my mom’s instructions on how to get there, and after 15 minutes of speed-walking I reach the arts and crafts store. It is humongous. It’s three stories from what I can see, and by the looks of it they have everything an artist’s heart could desire. I try to find a sign that says something about paint, but everything is in Korean, so I give up, and just wander around until I find the painting section. Acrylic paint, oil paint, canvases in every size imaginable, easels and paintbrushes. I let out a small shriek of excitement and start choosing the things I want.
I end up carrying way too much on my way to the cashier, almost dropping all of my new brushes, but I manage to catch them before they land on the floor. I put everything down before the cashier, who just looks at me with wide eyes like I’m a weirdo, and then start to scan everything. I fumble around my pockets trying to find the gift card. I slowly start to panic, as I notice it is in none of my pockets. I then remember I put it in my pocket inside my jacket so I wouldn’t lose it. I glance at the entrance and through the door comes a tall dark figure, but before I can catch a good enough look the cashier says something in Korean and I turn around again. I look at him not knowing what he just said, and he points at the display, showing the amount I have to pay. 450,000?! Oh wait, it’s not dollars. I almost had a heart attack. I hand the cashier my giftcard and he swipes it through the machine. I start taking the things from the counter, trying to figure out how I’m going to carry all of this home. The cashier again says something in Korean, and I figure he asked if I want the receipt, so I just say no thank you. He says something again, and this time I look at him, and I can see that something isn’t right.
“Not enough.” he says, and again points at the display. I start freaking out, I didn’t bring anything else than the giftcard, so I just hoped that would cover it. What do I do?
“I live only 15 minutes from here, can I please just go get my card? I won’t be long I promise.” I don’t think the cashier understands me, because he again says “Not enough”. I can see that I’m 2,000 won short and I try to rummage through the pile to find something that is around that price. The cashier is growing impatient which only makes me stress even more, and I end up dropping a pack of acrylic paints on the floor. The tubes fall out of the box and I crouch down to pick them up, when suddenly someone starts helping me. Finally the cashier has found a more humane side, I think, and as I look up I don’t see the clothes of an employee, but big Dr. Martens boots, black tight pants, a black shirt and a big black coat. The bucket hat and mask hide most of his face, but just under the top of the hat I’m immediately fascinated by the dark piercing eyes staring right at me. For a split second I forget where I am and just want to stay right here. The stranger gets to his feet and I shake my head a little, picking up the box, getting to my feet and as I turn around, the stranger hands his card to the cashier.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that, I’ll just leave these here, thank you.” I say. He doesn’t say anything and before I get to say anything else the cashier has already scanned his card and handed it back to him. He puts it back in his pocket and turns around to walk upstairs.
“Hey, I didn’t need.. I mean, you shouldn’t.. uh, thank you!” I almost manage to stutter my way through a sentence just as his feet disappear up the stairs. That was weird.
 I get out of the store and I am immediately met by the freezing cold weather. Fortunately, I have my big winter coat on, but I forgot my gloves at home. As I try to figure out which way I need to go I can feel my fingers get colder and colder. On the way here I was able to put them in my pockets, but now I have to carry all of this shit and I don’t even know which way to go. Fuck. Luckily I have my phone with me, so I can just.. oh no.. I don’t have more power. I must have used it all when I was listening to music. Dammit, now I have to rely on my sense of direction which is just great. Okay, I can just trace back what mom told me about getting here. So firstly, I went left. Wait, or was it right?  Shit. Shit, shit, shit. My fingers are not getting warmer, so I make a decision and turn left.
After having walked around the streets for 20 minutes I end up back at the arts and crafts store. You have got to be kidding me. I stop and put down the art supplies, so I can blow on my hands to get some feeling in them again.
A deep voice appears behind me: “Do you need help?” I turn towards the entrance of the shop and notice the tall dark stranger once again staring at me. I immediately tense up as I meet his gaze. This time I get a better look at him. As I saw before his outfit is all black, but I didn’t notice the chains on his pants and the long earrings dangling beneath his black hair that protrude out from his hat. I must have been staring for some time, because he repeats his question and as I come to my senses, he looks at my hands.
“Are you cold?” he asks, pointing towards my cupped hands that I am still holding in front of my face.
“Oh, no, it’s fine.” I say and quickly hide my hands behind my back.
“Let me see.” he says, and steps closer.
“No, really its fine.” I say, and try to walk a little backwards, but I hit the wall. I think he realizes that a man coming towards you in all black clothes wearing a mask and being way taller than you might seem a bit frightening, because he removes his mask and reveals what I can only describe as the sexiest grin I have ever seen.
“Do you know me?” he asks and tilts his head a little to the side. I look at him confused.
“No, should I?” I try to slowly slide to one side, but before I move just and inch, he places his hands on the wall, trapping me between him and it.
“No, I guess not. Let me see your hands.” He bends forward to grab my arms and by doing so gets very close to my face. He pauses, looking directly into my eyes making me hold my breath. He then slowly removes my hands from behind my back, still keeping his eyes locked on me, as he leads my hands closer to his mouth. He cups my hands between his and starts breathing on them. Even though this is incredibly weird, something in me doesn’t want it to end. His soft hands and warm breath on my hands make my heart flutter and I could swear I have actual butterflies in my stomach. Before I lose myself too much, a picture of Adam flashes before my eyes, and I pull my hands from his, and break our eye contact. I start quickly picking up my things, and he asks if everything is okay.
“Yeah, I just have to get home before my mom gets worried.” I try not to drop anything as I pick everything up from the ground.
“Do you need help with that?” he asks.
I burst out a “NO!”. I accidentally drop a paintbrush and before I can reach it, he gets it for me.
“I mean, no thank you, I can take care of it myself.” I say and take the brush from his grasp. I start walking and immediately stop. I still don’t know where I need to go.
“Do you know the way to Laymean Daychi Palace Apartment Complex?” I ask, as I turn towards him while looking at the ground.
“Do you mean Laemian Daechi? It’s just down the main road and to the left. I can show you the way if you..”
“No thank you, I know where it is now.” I hurry past him and start walking in the direction he pointed.
“I didn’t catch your name..” is the last thing I hear as I turn around the corner.
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doomednarrative · 5 years
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2018: A (Personal) Year in Review
I put off writing in general so much, but I’ve put off this particular post long enough. 
And no, this isn’t about the general world or the country. It’s about my personal life, and it’s mainly a vent/personal rambling post, so I’ll put under a read more. If you don’t care to read it, that’s totally fine. 
But anyways. Here we go: 
2018 was...a fuckin ride, to put it in simplest terms. 
For those who are new and unaware, lemme briefly bring you up to speed about the end of 2017 for me, cause it’s important to the context of this entire thing:
December 17th of 2017, when I was on my third day home for Christmas break from college, I packed a backpack, and I left my dad and stepmom’s house for good. 
Their house had been abusive for years, and my mental health was in the absolute tank in college. I was feeling casually suicidal and had a full on breakdown about having to come home for winter break. After a fight I got into that night with my stepmom after she found me texting some friends on Discord (which I wasn’t supposed to have, even tho I was almost 19 and an adult at the time,) she got Pissed, and so did I. I had finally had a group of friends who supported me and helped me out so much, and I didn’t want to loose them. And I couldn’t stand the abuse, the treatment of me like I was a child with no privacy or personal autonomy, the constant pushing for me to date my one long time friend and to be straight, or my parent’s inability to accept me as their son and not their daughter any longer. 
I was given a choice, and told if I decided to leave, I wasn’t welcome back. A few months before, my best friend had said that their parents had a safe space for me to go if I ever needed it. They had been aware of how bad some things had been with my parents and feared for the worst, so they offered me a home if it came down to that. And that night, it came down to that choice. 
I packed one backpack of stuff I was allowed to bring (solely because it was stuff I bought) and I walked to my friends mom’s house, and by the next morning, I was at her dad’s house, safe and sound. 
2018 became the year of learning how to be an adult in a house that treated me as one, and in a house that didn’t put my personal safety and mental health in danger. 
2018 was...well, it was simultaneously the worst and best year of my life. 
Early on, I could tell my parents weren’t going to let my off easy for leaving. My mom wasn’t a problem, she had been out of my life for almost two years at that point, and hadn’t attempted to make contact with me for a long time. 
But my dad and my stepmom? Oh, they were determined to make my life as bas as they could while not being physically around me. 
First thing they did? They tried to take all of my possessions from my dorm at college without my knowledge, because they thought that They owned that stuff. I only found this out because I called the college to formally drop out and ask when I could pick up my stuff, and they informed me my parents were already planning on picking up my stuff for me. 
Me and my now adoptive parents ended up making an impromptu trip, four hours up and four hours back, that night to my college campus to make sure that I could get my possessions before they could. And we were successful.
Next thing my dad did to screw me over after moving out? 
That bastard stole about 700$ from a joint bank account I had with him to use for college. That was money I earned from about 7 months of work at my summer food truck job. And he took it because he legally could since it was a joint account, and didn’t tell me. i found out when I went into the bank to withdraw that money and open a separate account. 
So I was starting off the year with already some setbacks. 
Thankfully, I Was able to replace my birth certificate and social security card relatively easily, so that was in my favor at least. 
Then, come my birthday on January 26 last year, I got a letter. Two letters to be specific. One from my stepmom, and one from my dad. 
Both were full of manipulation and guilt tripping language and just. Gaslighting and more emotional abuse. They had somehow gotten my address from when I had set up my separate bank account and changed my information in the bank system.  And they decided to send me abusive shit as a birthday present. 
I’m not gonna lie, it hurt a lot. 
They continued to try to do stuff like that. They called me multiple times from different numbers, they called police on my adoptive family to say that I was crazy and that my parents were like. concerned for my safety because i had blocked their phone numbers after the first two phone calls. They texted me from different numbers, just. A lot of different bullshit. 
February was the first time I saw my dad since leaving. I had gone to a screening of Love Simon, as it was really important to me, and somehow thru some stalkery methods, he knew i was there and he confronted me in the theater lobby after the film. (When I asked how he found me there, his answer was ‘I have my ways.’ I never posted about this encounter when it originally happened.)
He proceeded to be transphobic to me in public, demeaning me and humiliating me in front of everyone in the theater, told me I was the reason my siblings were now in therapy (which is a lie, my brother was already in therapy for anxiety long before I left), calling me crazy, telling my adoptive mother that I “needed help” and that “she’ll outstay her welcome.” He said a lot of awful things, and eventually I left the theatre in tears after screaming at him that I was his son and that this shit was why I left in the first place, and that he should go fuck himself.
Thankfully, I didn’t see him for months afterword, not til october, right before I left my retail job that he and my stepmom found out I worked at. I saw my stepmom three times at that job, once with my siblings (which is the only time I’ve seen them since leaving and that was. Very hard to deal with and a very emotional time), and twice without my siblings. The times she came without them, she was an absolute fucking asshole to me, still spewing her abusive rhetoric about how I was in the wrong for leaving, and how my father did nothing wrong when he saw me in February. 
She and my father only left me alone after I told them that I would not get into an argument while I was on the clock, and that if they didn’t leave I’d call the store security guard. 
After that, they haven’t done anything else. Yet. We’ll see what 2019 holds. 
But, aside from the bullshit with my parents, 2018 had its other ups and downs. More ups than downs, but it still had it’s rough moments. 
I got a job in early May as a sales associate/cashier/fitting room attendant for a well known Coat Factory chain store. 
That job was pure fuckin hell, and I’m glad I don’t work there anymore. The last week that I was supposed to work there before leaving for my new job, I got pulled into the side office by the manager on duty (she wasn’t an actual manager, she just had closing priviledges) and she Screamed at me about how a customer complained about me, she hated me, my coworkers all hated me, all three of my managers hated me, and how she was tired of my attitude and how she couldn’t wait til I was fuckin gone. The whole issue that night had started because of her and how she couldn’t properly communicate to me where she wanted me to be that night and what duties she wanted me handling. She took out her frusteration at her own mistakes on me, and I had had enough. I stood my ground with her and didn’t let her walk all over me, but I went home that night, bawled for about two hours because being yelled at is a trigger for me, and she had been all in my personal space like she was going to hit me, and then I emailed my general manager the next day and told her she could replace me for my last two shifts and I wouldn’t be coming in for them. 
I haven’t stepped foot in that goddamned store since I left that night. 
I have a different job now. I work as an overnight personal care assistant at a nursing home, but it’s a higher end one, and it’s not bad. It can be stressful and super draining at times, but enviornmentally its a better job than the retail one ever was, so it’s good. 
My mental health has been a wild ride as well. I won’t get into the full details here, but let just say that uh. I’m 99% sure that I’m both ADHD and autistic, and I’m thinking I have some form of ptsd as well from years of trauma shit. I’m not suicidal anymore, but I have bouts of depression and anxiety and sometimes anger that last for days to weeks at a time. It’s...rough, to say the least. And dysphoria doesn’t help any of that. 
But I’m alive and fighting, and that’s the important part. 
Not everything this year has been bad tho. There’s been a fair amount of good too, and I’m greatful for it. 
December 23rd I celebrated my first year aniversary with @curious-corvids, and i couldn’t be happier about that. He’s been there thru this Entire ride, and he’s been such a positive force in my life, and I hope to keep him around for years to come. 
Similarly, March 18th this year will be my one year aniversary with @sinclair-solutions, and that I’m immensely happy about as well. They’re such a wonderful person and just. i’m very lucky to have them, I really am. they’ve also been here thru everything, and I could never thank then enough for that. 
I made some friends in the past few months that I can’t imagine what my days would be like without them in it. Kathy, Jay, Fi, and Evan are such great people, and I’m lucky to have them around. 
I got the chance to meet Ren, Lu and Erin in person for the first time at DragonCon, and went to both my first comic convention and my first out of state trip alone with them, and it was honestly the best five days of my life. I can’t wait to do that again with them this year. 
I’ve been steadily improving at art this year and took commissions for the first time, and that’s been a very fun thing to do. 
I’m actually able to like. Afford to buy things for myself and spend my money without interferance, and thats such a change from how my parents used to control my finances. 
Overall 2018 was just..a wild ride. 
2019 is sure to bring better things. With luck this month, I should be starting the process of legally changing my name, and that will be a very freeing thing to do. 
I turn 20 on January 26th, and just. 
I didn’t think I’d actually make it to 20. That’s a personal milestone for me, to have made it this far. 
Whatever this new year brings tho, here’s to hoping it goes better than 2018. 
Here’s to hoping I’m better this year than I was last year. 
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