#i had a dream they were my fatherly friends and i wanna go back | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

k3rm1e · 3 years

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cuddling headcanons! ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

this is more of a test thing to see if i like writing this way and if this blog does well

other imagines and headcanons won't include everyone i write unless it is specifically requested and is a prompt i really like

includes: wilbur nihachu karljacobs quackity dream georgenotfound sapnap p!tommyinnnit p!badboyhalo p!skeppy p!eret p!philza p!tubbo p!ranboo

cw: cursing

wilbur:

wilbur is a very cuddle-y guy

to me he seems very soft

i always see people saying he would like spooning, but i disagree

i feel like he would do more of a half-spooning thing with his head on your chest or the other way around

mans would DEFINITELY make you run your fingers through his hair

i feel like he would lay on your chest and just *nuzzle* into the space between your shoulder and neck

anytime you tried to leave him, whether it was because he had to do something or you had to, he would whine. so. fucking. much.

It would probably always go something like:

you - i need to piss

wilbur - no <3

but the moment he decides its time to stop cuddling its fine

and if you complain that you’re gonna miss him he’ll just call you clingy and tease you

like??? sir???

all in good fun though, no bad intentions :)

nihachu:

i feel like you and niki would face each other

with your head like under her chin and in her chest (this is a bad description but look at the “honeymoon hug” on the list for better explanation ;-;)

she would always want to protect you

so she does that by like almost guarding you and keeping you close

niki would definitely do the arm thing where she just lightly moves her hand up and down you arm

i’m so sorry if you don't understand that, it just feels like something she would do

if you haven't experienced that it kinda sorta feels like spiders??? but in a good way???

but generally she is very protective

she just holds you so close the whole time

even if she doesn’t want to let you go, she’s more understanding about it

she would be upset but wouldn’t show it because she doesn’t want to make you feel guilty

niki is generally just an amazing cuddle-r (is that a word?) and has a super comforting presence

karljacobs:

karl would definitely keep your head on his chest

the whole time he would just absolutely squeeze the life out of you

he would constantly bend his neck down to kiss your head

and instead of just like leaving his head down so he could kiss you it would just be:

*inner monologue karl* hmmm i wanna kiss them on their head

and he would lean down to do so which, cute

but then five seconds later he would do it again

and again another five seconds later

and again

very cute karl but please sir, your neck is gonna be so messed up after this

when you had to leave he would be upset, but like niki, would try not to show it

except karl is very bad at that and his pouting would be so obvious

so you would feel guilty and layback down with him

immediately he just becomes (●´ω｀●)

like a happy little puppy

karl is just too adorable for you to deny

quackity:

now we all know this, quackity is a huge dork

which is why i believe he would DEFINITELY use your butt as a pillow

not even in a weird way

i just feel like quackity isn’t too comfortable with touch so this is sorta his way of being close to you without it being a whole serious thing

like he still is able to be goofy and comfortable without it being a whole big thing

him doing this would almost always come with a flatty patty joke from you

which always causes him to threaten divorce, even though you aren’t married

while it isn’t a very good position for things like physical touch, it is good for talking and having conversations

for some reason i feel like he’s the type of person to text someone when they’re right next to each other

so while he’s laying down he’ll just send you random photos of himself

very annoying when your phone is spammed, but also good blackmail material >:)

i don’t think he’d be too clingy

obviously, he enjoys spending time with you

but if you told him you need to go do work or something he wouldn’t throw a fit or pout

big q just seems like he’d be more rational about stuff like that

overall a 420/69 cuddle partner

dream:

one word: spooning

mans just envelops you and has no shame

very big: “no you are mine! >:(“ energy

while he’s sleeping he’ll unconsciously nuzzle his head into your hair/the back of your neck

when you guys got to bed patches usually climbs in and you hold her

i love patches so much i could write headcanons just about her

dream always wants to be cuddling you

if you try to leave he won’t pout, there simply isn't a discussion on whether you’re moving or not

incase you haven’t caught on yet, the answer is no

you need to do work? just bring the laptop to bed

he needs to edit? just sit in his lap at his desk, duh

obviously, he knows at some point you guys need to stop cuddling

he just isn’t too stoked about it

when it comes time where he absolutely can’t cuddle with you, i feel like he’d be more chill

mainly just annoyed

georgenotfound:

i feel like george, like quackity, also wouldn’t be too touchy

i’m pretty sure he has a hard time expressing emotions (please correct me if i’m wrong!!) and i think that would crossover to his sleeping habits

i think he would prefer a sort of back-to-back cuddling position

it seems cold, i know

but also he would most definitely kick at you

so every night while trying to go to sleep suddenly you would just feel *kick*

and then instead of sleep you’re suddenly playing footsie

lots of laughter and warm feelings involved

george would probably pretend that you kicked his leg hard or something and act like you hurt him

the first few times you were actually worried

but then after a few months your only response was a sarcastic “cry about it”

which just led to more laughter

sapnap:

sapnap and you would do a sort of leg hug thing

you both you try to go to sleep in a cute spooning-type position

but the moment one of you fell asleep it all unraveled

you would wake up apart but you’re legs would still be touching

sapnap would joking blame it on you

“wow can’t believe you don't wanna be close with me even when we’re asleep”

“it’s not my fault! i can’t control where i end up when i sleep!”

“no, no. you don’t have to lie. i see how it is.”

“>:(“

but it's okay!

your legs are the first thing to react in a flight-or-fight situation, so they usually react in an honest way

which is like your legs are both reaching to hold each other!

p!tommyinnit:

i don’t get a very touchy vibe from tommy

i feel like the most he would do is put his arm over your shoulder

not in a flirty way, just in a “hey, there isn’t a lot of space, this will make sitting down more comfortable” way

he will let you sorta fidget with his hand/arm

i don't know if that makes sense but what i mean is that he’ll pretty much let his arm go *flop* so you can control it (by like moving it around or playing with his fingers)

in the beginning he would get annoyed

but eventually he would get used to it and wouldn’t really care

it sounds a bit strange but i personally find it very comforting to just have something to fidget with while watching youtube or netflix in bed with my friends

and it’s entertaining (sometimes i do this to me sister to annoy her :>)

he would act like he didn’t mind if you left him

but holy shit he is so clingy

If you try to leave it’ll just be “no, why??? stay here dumbass”

you would be slightly annoyed when he had to leave but knew he had to film and stream and all that so you would be okay

p!badboyhalo:

you would kinda sit within bad’s lap

like not on his lap, but more of in between his legs

he would have his arms around you

and his phone would be in front of you so you two could scroll through twt or instagram together

or you guys could watch skeppy’s youtube ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

rat would sit in your lap

she’s just;;;;;;;; so adorable

rat is just so soft and fuzzy in your lap and everytime you move to pet her she just melts

rat is the the superior cuddle buddy to any of these block people

p!skeppy:

skeppy, similar to quackity, is a total dork

he would make sure you guys were in a position where he could effectively troll you

so if your head was near his lap he would just flick you or some

“dude can you please stop hitting me in the head”

“it turns out i am not actually hitting you in your head because based on the perpendicularity of the bisector multiplied by the photosynthesis of the dividend, it is impossible for me to do so”

“wtf”

lya is so goddamn sick of you guys

she's trying to get him to actually do something but instead he’s just sitting there throwing paper airplanes at you while you sleep

he’s an annoying asshole but it's okay because he gives you money for absurd reasons

p!eret:

eret has such a comfortable presence

i feel like she wouldn’t be up for cuddling too much

more of like putting your head on a friends shoulder so you can see the tweet their showing you

but they do like to hold hands

holding hands isn’t very intimate but it's also just such a sweet comforting thing

she even holds your hand when you guys are out walking around

like if you guys were getting food somewhere (post-covid of course)

you most likely would get addressed as a couple

and he would just be like”...wut?”

it’s happened so many times at this point you just go along with it

“you guys look like such a cute couple!”

“oh we aren't-” “thank you!”

can you tell that i love eret?

p!philza:

phil always has such dad vibes

i feel like the closest he would get to cuddling is hugs and hand holding

even though cuddling isn’t inherently romantic, he is married to kristen

so i fell he would get most of his touch in with her

but with you he’s just so fatherly

hello dadza

whether you have a good or bad relationship with your father, everyone can admit that philza minecraft is dadza

this is such a dad thing, but tries to hold you hand when you cross the street

no matter the age, he just feels the need to protect you

hugs are similar

uses hugs as a way to comfort you and protect you

just so amazing all around

p!tubbo:

tubbo would love cuddling in any way, shape, or form

if you guys are hanging out at like the park or something and lying down

get ready to become this mans pillow

this is really fun to do with your friends but imagine you guys are hanging out in a field type area (with my friends we hand out in the field next to the cemetery but it can be any open grass area)

tubbo would just use your lap as a pillow the whole time

and when you guys were walking back to his house he would sorta drape his arms over your shoulders (assuming he’s taller than you)

he would do the same thing when you guys were sitting in chairs or at a desk

just drapes his arms over your shoulder with his chin on your head

if it's really late and he's tired he’ll just hug you

p!ranboo:

if you thought tubbo is bad, ranboo is even worse

not even really cuddling, he just likes having a sort of skin-to-skin contact

so handholding and laying on top of eachother

if he’s streaming he will legitimately message ou to just sit next to him

so sometimes if he’s just chilling by himself on the smp you’ll end up on his streams

he’ll have you next to him just because he likes be near someone

and so randomly it’ll just be like “chat, a real human is here, behave”

chat does not behave

(they heavily bully him)

he’s pretty clingy but when you HAVE to leave he’ll understand and just be a bit bummed out

holy shit this took me so long-

if you read this whole thing thank you!

#mcyt x reader #wilbur soot x reader #karl jacobs x reader #nihachu x reader #quackity x reader #dream x reader #georgenotfound x reader #sapnap x reader #tommyinnit x reader #badboyhalo x reader #skeppy x reader #eret x reader #philza x reader #tubbo x reader #ranboo x reader #kermie's headcanons #kermie spent so long on this and is dying

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writemekpop · 3 years

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Bad Romance (Part 1) | Lee Taeyong

Pairing: Lee Taeyong x Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend Taeyong wants to fuck you, but you're not ready...

Genre: Angst, Smut, College AU

Word Count: 1.8k

Warning: Sexual Content, Toxic relationship

Part 1 ⭐️| Part 2

Taeyong’s breaths were deafening in your ear. Couldn’t he try to control himself? For discretion, at least. You imagined every ear in your university dorm pricking up. Snickering. “I wonder what they’re up to.”

Taeyong kissed you again, his hot lips colliding with yours.

His hand, ever so slightly rough, pushed up your shirt, sending goosebumps up your ribs. A moan sounded, deep in your throat, and Taeyong groaned in satisfaction.

You felt instantly guilty. You’d told yourself your ancestors wouldn’t mind if you did this for him. But you’d promised not to enjoy it.

Taeyong knotted one hand in your hair. You felt the other one slide up to your back to unclasp your bra. His hand dwarfed your back, sending sparks rippling up your shoulder blades.

“Are you okay with this?” he murmured, voice husky. You nodded. It was a lie.

The truth was, you’d never had sex before. You’d barely even kissed a boy.

When all your college friends were in the basement snogging boys, you would hover by the doorway, holding their drinks. When they began to tease you, you just pretended you couldn’t hear them.

Even when everyone started saying you ‘batted for the other team’, it just felt like a relief. Maybe they’d finally leave you alone.

You were a feminist. You fully believed that women weren’t shiny, unwrapped presents that had to be protected for marriage. But you were also a fake.

Because the idea of sleeping with a stranger still made you feel sick inside.

Well, Taeyong wasn’t a stranger; he was your boyfriend. So, you would just have to grit your teeth and get on with it.

Taeyong’s hand slid down between you. You squeezed your eyes shut. It would be over in a minute; that’s what your friends were always joking about, right?

Then, you heard the unmistakeable clink of his belt buckle. Suddenly, that was the most terrifying sound you’d ever heard.

“W-wait,” you croaked.

You clung onto Taeyong’s firm wrist.

He was breathing hard, his pulse pounding under his papery-thin skin. You were sat on his lap – so you could feel how ready he was, and it frightened you.

He would hate you for what you were about to say, you knew that.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

You rolled away from him, pulling your knees up and hugging them. Burying your wet eyes in your knees, you waited for Taeyong to leave.

But you didn’t feel him get off the bed.

Instead, there was absolute silence. A shiver ran down your spine.

Then, his muscled arms were wrapping around you. Taeyong eased you till you were lying on the bed – fear closed in your throat – but he wasn’t trying to have sex with you. Instead, he helped you pull your T-shirt back on, and guided you so your head was resting on his chest.

You felt his thundering heartbeat slow to a steady, comforting pulse.

Taeyong pressed a kiss on your temple. For a second, your stomach curled; it was so fatherly. You mentally scolded yourself. Taeyong wasn’t like other guys. He was caring, and sensitive, and you should be grateful.

“If you wanna go slow, let’s go slow. You’ll always be my girl,” Taeyong whispered.

So, you pushed down the niggling feeling that ‘always’ had an expiry date. It was time you learnt to trust someone, and Taeyong was the perfect person to let in.

---

Over the next few months, you tried your best to forget about that night. And it was easy enough – Taeyong was electrifying.

You’d never met a man who could tell a Basquiat from a Banksy and didn’t even show off about it.

Each night, after lectures, you’d sneak off to some gallery late opening, and take photos of each other for Instagram.

Or, you’d just snuggle up in his dorm room and listen to him telling you all about his Art History course, or his dreams of starting his own gallery.

You rarely spoke. You preferred to soak in his world, like a cat curled in the sun. And let’s face it – who wanted to talk about Maths, anyway?

Taeyong was like a shooting star: totally uncontrollable, impossible to understand, yet hopelessly fascinating. You couldn’t believe why someone like him seemed to find you interesting. Or at least, worth spending every day with.

---

The second time Taeyong scared you was a Saturday.

You were sitting in his lap, poring over one of his Art History books. Other than toying with a curl of your hair, or pressing a kiss to your shoulder, Taeyong was totally still.

Sighing with pleasure, you flicked through the glossy pages – for the hundredth time. No wonder Taeyong would always say: If I wasn’t rubbish at Maths, we should’ve swapped courses.

Just then, you prised open a page you hadn’t seen before. You frowned.

It was a scan of an old Japanese painting. In it, a wealthy couple were captured in a furious argument with a young woman, carrying a baby. It was entitled ‘Outside Wife’.

You turned to Taeyong, finger on the title. “What’s that?”

Taeyong lifted the book from your hands, then grinned. “It’s when a noble couple are forced to get married, but the man has another wife to, you know, satisfy his needs.” Taeyong chuckled dryly. “Unfortunately, that system isn’t available anymore.”

You began to chuckle too… then your smile melted from your face. “What do you mean, unfortunately?” Goosebumps rippled over your skin.

“Ah… it was just a joke. You know, we’re not exactly getting any.” Taeyong’s body still felt relaxed under you, but your muscles were tensing.

“I thought you said you wanted to go slow…” you mumbled.

Of course. You should’ve seen this coming.

There was only so long a person could go without their needs fulfilled. And here you were, dragging your boyfriend down while he could sleep with any normal girl whenever he wanted.

“I’m not ready yet, Taeyong.” You picked at the frayed wool of your jumper.

Your throat closed as you prepared for what you would say next. “If you… need to sleep with someone else, I won’t blame you,” you whispered. Stupid, babyish tears were filling your eyes already.

“Babe – it was just a joke! No need to get your knickers in a twist.” Taeyong laughed, and kissed your neck.

When you still didn’t make a sound a moment later, Taeyong turned you around on his lap so you were facing him. Tears streaked freely down your cheeks – you couldn’t hide them.

“Oh, baby….” Soft as a whisper, Taeyong placed his palm on your cheek and smoothed away the tears with his thumb. “I don’t care about your… problem. You’re my girlfriend, and what’s good enough for you’s good enough for me.”

A small part of you hurt at the way he said problem, but you pushed that part away. You allowed him a small smile.

Laughing, Taeyong pulled you into a bear hug. You’d never gripped his shoulder so tight. You were so lucky to have him.

----

A few weeks later, Taeyong finally convinced you to accompany him to a house party. You knew what this meant. You’d been dating for four months – this was the ‘meeting his friends’ moment.

All the time you were getting ready, your stomach had transformed into a pit of snakes. Excitement, anxiety, fear – they all wriggled and knotted about inside you.

You chose a midnight-blue playsuit, in a glimmering velvet. When Taeyong pointed it out to you in the shop, you knew this what you’d be wearing.

To be honest, you hated Taeyong’s friends. You were pretty sure Taeil had tried to sneak vodka into your coke, and Mark did nothing but yap on endlessly about his girlfriend in Canada. You were almost 100% sure she didn’t exist.

But as soon as Taeyong’s mahogany eyes met yours across in the heaving living room, all your worries melted away like snow. All he had to do was raise one deep eyebrow, or pull his plump lips into a silly face, and you’d burst out laughing.

Except, as the hours drew by, you realised you hadn’t seen Taeyong in a while. You were perched on the stairs, shivering next to everyone who was too zoned out to take part.

“Taeyong?”

Tip-toeing, you climbed up the stairs, calling his name. You pushed open each of the doors in the hallway, peeking through your fingers just in case anything funny was going on.

But they were all empty.

Just as you turned around to go back downstairs, you heard voices coming from the attic. Gingerly, you sneaked up. They grew louder, more defined.

Pushing open the door just a crack, you heard:

“Really? My god.”

Your heart jumped. You knew that rich, resounding tone better than your own voice. It was Taeyong.

You considered climbing up to join them. But then, you heard something that stopped you in your tracks.

“And the worst thing is, Irene thinks she’s some kind of sex goddess, but actually she’s awful. She just lies there like a limp doll, expecting me to do everything.” It was Doyoung speaking.

There was a pause as they all laughed.

Your heart was already twisting. Something about his tone felt… wrong. Like his girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate what he was saying.

Then, you heard Taeyong say, “Mate, at least your girlfriend’s fucking you, even if she is awful at it. I haven’t got any for months!”

Everyone in the group exclaimed in disbelief. You forgot how to breathe.

“Yeah – I know. Y/n thinks she’s some kind of saint for “waiting for the perfect moment”. I mean, a guy’s got needs!” Taeyong’s voice was low, but to you he could have been screaming.

Black spots were engulfing your vision. Gulping, you staggered backwards, out of the door. You didn’t want to hear what you heard next. You really didn’t want to.

But you couldn’t help it. Not when Taeyong said, “You know, I don’t even feel bad about fucking Joy. I mean, I had no choice. If Y/n wasn’t so frigid, I wouldn’t need to. It’s her fault really.”

That was it.

You sprinted away. Pushing through the line of partygoers waiting to use the bathroom, you locked yourself inside.

Then, you curled up on the toilet seat and sobbed.

It had finally happened.

Your gorgeous boyfriend had finally realised that he was miles out of your league. He didn’t deserve the defect. He didn’t deserve the fake feminist who was too ashamed to admit how sexist she really was.

Then, a thought entered your mind that make you perk up.

Maybe you could pretend you’d never overheard Taeyong. Maybe you could go back to how you were before… Or maybe you could sleep with him and make him forget about all other girls.

After all, you’d do anything to keep him.

Anything.

Read Part 2 here.

---

MASTERLIST

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suchalonelysunflower · 3 years

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Wedding Bells (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Fem!Reader

Summary: The happiest day of your life is the worst day on Luke’s life. Could there still be a happy ending if he’s not too late?

Warnings: angsty. Language and mentions of alcohol. Slander on the name Phillip (sorry to all the Phills but it’s true, look it up) Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 4.9 k

Author’s note: let me guide you through my thought process: I was writing You Said Forever and accidentally got caught up on the Olivia x Joshua x sabrina drama, that lead me to the Miley x Nick x Selena drama, which lead me to the song Wedding Bells by Nick Jonas. So this is loosely based on that. Remember that Reblogs, Comments, Feedback and Likes are very important and welcomed, you don’t know how much it helps and I love to hear from you guys ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

His head was pounding, loudly.

Every beat sounded like an echo that ran through his whole body. Speaking of his body, goddamn how it hurt, how everything hurts.

His eyelids were closed, eyelashes stuck and tangled with each other, heavy as the sun shined through the window, begging him to get up. His mouth was also dry, he couldn’t figure out if it was because he slept with his mouth open or because he doesn’t remember the last time he drank a drop of water.

He groaned as the pounding in his head continued. A never-ending pain that matched the loud banging on the door.

“Luke! C’mon, we’re going to be late!”

Ashton's voice sounded far away as his mind was not fully awake yet. He didn’t want to be awake yet, maybe not ever again after this day.

If his eyes were awake he would roll them. Couldn’t Ashton understand that he didn’t want to go? He made it fairly obvious for the past few months! He was not going.

Luke hid his head farther in his pillow, trying to avoid any kind of contact with the outside world. But that was almost impossible as soon as he heard Ashton pick on his lock.

That bastard.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to mess with a bloke from the outsides of town?” He said with a teasing tone. Luke knew he was bluffing, his doorknob was messed up since the moment they bought the house, so it was easy to get in if you knew the right tricks with a safety pin - oh the irony of it all.

Luke mumbled something close to a word his mum wouldn’t be proud to hear. But Ashton simply ignored it as he walked towards the windows to open the curtains, letting the sun illuminate the room at its full capacity.

Ashton sighed at the sight of the room. Clothes were thrown out everywhere, the same goes with the hundred liquor and beer bottles and cans that were scattered around the floor. He grabbed the half-empty bottle of vodka that rested on the nightstand and clicked his tongue.

“You bought this yesterday,” He said, totally unimpressed. Luke didn’t answer “C’mon, buddy, up to the shower you go”

Ashton patted Luke’s back, encouraging him to get a move on, but the blonde just brought his sheets over his head and stayed put.

“Luke…”

“Mmnphf” He mumbled.

“What?” Ashton walked to the foot of the bed and grabbed the tall Australian by his legs, pulling him out of his comforter in one swift move that made Luke fall out of the bed with a thud.

“Motherfuck-“ He complained, rubbing on his bumped head, which was still pounding by the way.

“You were saying?” Ashton said with a smirk as he crouched down to be face to face with Luke, the teasing smile quickly fading away because he didn’t like what he saw at all.

The baby blue eyes that once shined with gleam were dull, red, and empty, and probably angry about his interruption. His curly blond was sticking to his forehead and his body language seemed to have given up on keeping him with a straight figure, making him physically close himself up to others.

“I said I’m not going!” His voice was hoarse due to the heavy drinking he’s been doing these past few days. He tried to sound harsh, but Ashton could easily see through his bluff. He was hurting, every part of him.

“Of course you are,” Ashton scoffed.

Luke glared at him “I’m. Not. Going” He said through gritted teeth. The drummer rolled his eyes. He’s had this conversation before and it was always the same speech.

“You are because she wants you there, so you’ll be there” Ashton stated as if that was the only reasonable answer.

Luke closed his eyes, cause he was sure that if he opened them he would punch Ashton in the mouth. Why couldn’t he understand? “I can’t go, Ash”

His voice broke at the end of the pleading, breaking Ashton’s heart in the process. He hated to see him like that; to see him throw away his life so carelessly without asking for or accepting anyone’s help. It’s not like he ignored what was happening, but he was sure this would do good for him; close cycles, help him move on, and that shit. How else could you mend a broken heart?

“And besides,” Luke continued “She doesn’t want me there” The words felt like poison in his mouth, bitter and dry “She invited you guys, you are her friends and I’m just her stupid ex”

That was a lie and he knew that. When the invitations came he made sure to throw his away before he even got to open it. Making the others believe that he wasn’t invited at all. He didn’t even tell them that you were the one who dropped them, him being unlucky enough to answer the door.

“It’s in June,” You said, eyes avoiding him “Hope you can make it”

Whatever words Luke had stuck in his throat stayed there as he swallowed the pain of seeing you standing there, inviting him to see you love someone else. All he could say was “You’ll look beautiful in white”

You practically ran away after that, leaving him alone with the invitations. Just looking at those envelopes hurt more than he could imagine. He knew this day would come eventually, he hoped he would. He just hoped that his name was engraved on paper next to yours.

“Maybe,” Said Ashton with a grin “But if she didn’t want you there then why did she ask me to RSVP for you?” Luke’s eyes widened like plates, he knew Ashton had called his bluff once again “She said you never answer yours so I did it for you. Cause she wants you there, Luke. You were her best friend, too”

Luke groaned and covered his face with his hand “Why did you do that?!” He asked with an exasperated tone, wanting to hate on the drummer but knowing that that was impossible.

“Because you need to go, mate! You can’t leave her hanging like this!”

“And what am I supposed to say?!” He yelled, he was not used to yelling but he was at the ends of his wits ``‘Oh, hey Y/N! A beautiful day isn’t it? Perfect weather to break my heart into a million pieces while you marry another guy and I’m sitting there watching, wishing I was him! I’m happy for you, though I’m really not cause I know it’s been like what? 3 years 5 months and 24 days since we broke up? but I’m still in love with you. Okay have fun?!”’

He grabbed an empty can from the floor and threw it away, hitting the door of his closet. He was beyond furious and frustrated. You were getting married and he can’t do anything to stop it; to stop you.

Ashton sighed, heartbroken by this whole ordeal “You’ve been counting?”

“Ever since that day. It was my greatest mistake and now I’m suffering from it. Karma really is a bitch. Did you know our anniversary is supposed to be in 5 days? And now it’s impossible to ever get her back”

The drummer placed a hand on Luke's shoulder, he wished he could make his pain go away. He’s never seen his friend so heartbroken before and it pained him knowing that there was nothing he could do about it.

“Luke,” He said in a fatherly tone “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. But believe when I tell you she wants you there, she misses you” Luke turned his head towards Ashton, his eyes begging him not to lie “I’m serious, she’s always asking about you but she’s too scared to talk to you thinking that you don’t want to speak to her. She needs you there, man. Not as a bitter ex and to show you she’s moved on, but as a friend. And I know for a fact you can’t say not to her, even when you’re mad”

Luke sighed. Ashton was right. He could never deny you anything, even before you were together and you were just his best friend, you were always his weakness.

He misses you too, every day since you broke up he’s been missing you. And he would be lying if he said he didn’t want to see you at least one last time, given that your last interaction was awkward as hell.

“I can’t go, Ash”

Ashton nodded with a disappointing sigh as he got up from the floor, but before he could walk out the door he heard Luke say “I can’t go because I don’t have a suit!”

Ashton smiled “I got you covered, buddy” And left the room so Luke could take a shower.

Ashton’s suit was itchy, but Luke was grateful that he didn’t have to show up in jeans and an old BonJovi shirt.

He was surprised to find out that they were actually on time, although he wouldn’t be surprised if someone told him that Ashton woke him up much earlier than needed to get there on time.

They met with Michael and Calum in the parking lot, they greeted each other and started talking as if Luke’s heart wasn’t about to burst from the anxiety he was feeling.

To show up at a wedding is something; to show up at your ex’s aka the love of your life’s wedding is… unsettling. He understood why his friends didn’t want to make it awkward for him, yet the awkwardness settled at the moment he stepped foot out of the car.

“She’s getting married in a church?” He asked no one in particular.

“Yeah? That’s why we are here, mate” Calum chuckled.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. You never wanted to get married in a church or even a chappel. No, if he remembers correctly, your dream wedding was somewhere outdoors; either a park or a forest or even someone’s backyard. You used to say that love was the most beautiful and natural thing in the universe, so it was logical to celebrate something as powerful as a wedding in the eyes of nature, so it all came to be one for love and love can be one for all.

He remembers he laughed at that, not to mock you in any way, but in awe of how beautiful you put it. Everything you said sounded like poetry to him, even if you were just reading a menu in a Chinese restaurant. But now your poetry would belong to someone else, and he only hoped that that someone deserves to hear it.

He doesn’t know the groom, he believes his name was Phill? Or something like that? Ashton always said he was kind of a jerk, but you loved him enough to marry him so maybe he wasn’t that bad. But for Luke he would always be the man that stole you from him.

All three of his friends started walking inside the rustic church and Luke followed, incapable to think about anything else that wasn’t you at that moment.

However, the minute he entered the cold building he knew something was wrong.

The church was filled with people he didn’t know, he assumed they must be from the groom’s side of the family, but he would bet the 35$ Ashton left in his pocket that you didn’t know half of these people either.

You never wanted a big wedding, hell, you didn’t even want a big birthday party, no matter how much Luke insisted on it.

“Those kinds of parties are not for the ones being celebrated!” You told him once “If it was truly important then all you need is your closest friends and your found family. What else is there to love?”

Your words kept repeating themselves inside Luke’s head. What else is there to love? Indeed.

That wasn’t the only thing catching his attention though. With every step he took towards his seat he found out more things out of place, out of you.

For example, the color scheme was terrible and he knows you didn’t pick it, your favorite colors were nowhere to be seen. Then it was the flowers, if there is one thing he never forgot about you were your favorite flowers. You used to fill the house with them saying that they were your little serotonin boosters, he remembers how happy they made you and how one time he nearly bought all the flowers in the shop to surprise you when you were having a bad day. Now he cannot even look at them without thinking of you.

The more steps he took the more flawed this wedding looked. And yes, he knows that sounds bad, especially coming from him. But it was the truth. Not even the music sounded like it would come from you.

The words ‘This is not right’ Kept screaming at the back of his head.

The Y/N he knew would never choose those flowers or those colors or that guest list or that venue, nor the song that was playing over the speakers. She preferred live music over all the rest and, if she would’ve asked, she’d known that all four of them would perform for free on the happiest day of her life, even if it was the crappiest day for him.

If someone were to tell him a year ago that this is how your wedding would look, he would’ve laughed cause this is not like you. This wedding, this… charade of glamour and show.. this wasn’t you. This wasn’t Y/N. And it's supposed to be your day!

He couldn’t understand why you’d choose this? This was so unlike you, unless… unless he never really knew you at all.

And just like that, the sinking feeling of dread came upon him as he tried to figure out who was the person he knew and who are you now? What changed so much to make you lose all that you once were?

What if?

What if he knew how to love you better? He wouldn’t have let you walk away from him. He would’ve fought for you, for the two of you, instead of just giving up like he did.

Luke knew he loved you. Fuck, he still loves you like the first day. And now you are loving somebody else cause he didn’t know how to keep the most beautiful thing he ever had; the most beautiful thing he let die. He messed up, but his biggest fuck up was realizing it and doing nothing about it.

And now it was too late.

“Dude, are you okay?” Michael whispered when he noticed his friend's frown.

Luke nodded, lips pressed together in a thin line “What were you saying?”

Michael smiled with mischief “We were just laughing at how ridiculous Phillip looks. That suit does not suit him at all”

For the first time since he came, he looked over at the altar. Standing there was the so-called Phill you were going to marry. He was talking to his groomsmen and laughing obnoxiously at what seemed like an inappropriate joke. What did you see on that guy?

“Did you know the name Phillip means horse lover?” Said Calum, trying to stiff a laugh with the other two friends.

They were doing their best to keep Luke distracted and he appreciated that. But seeing the groom so unpreoccupied, so chill and uninterested made his blood boil. How could he be so at ease? If it were him, if he had the wonderful chance to marry you, he’d be a ball of anxiety. He’d be wondering just how beautiful you’d look, if you were feeling as nervous as he was, if you were as happy as he was and how he couldn’t wait to marry you… He would do all that because he will know that he is the luckiest man on earth. But that’s not his truth at all.

“I’m going to take a walk”

Neither of them told him that the ceremony was about to start or offered to accompany him. They knew he needed time and they wouldn't pressure him at all. Luke silently thanked them for that.

He walked out of the ceremony hall and started pacing around the halls, quickly getting lost as he tried to ease his mind.

How could he go through this and pretend that he’s okay? He remembered Ashton’s words from this morning and knew that if you wanted him here then he would be here, but that still didn’t make it any easier.

He would go through the ends of the earth for you if you asked him to, but this? This might be the hardest thing he has ever done, second only to let you go.

His curls were getting messy because of all the ruffling he did with his hands. He needed to pull himself together before the ceremony, he needed to seem okay in front of you. He-

The soft cries coming from behind the door caught his attention. They were hushed but they seemed completely broken. Whoever was behind that door must feel just as hopeless as he did.

“Hello?” He said, knocking on the wooden door “Hello, are you okay in there?”

The sniffing sounds stopped “Luke?”

It was quiet, almost like a whisper. But Luke would recognize your voice anywhere, especially after not hearing you say his name for 3 years.

“Y/N?”

The door opened with a click and revealed a supply closet and, inside that supply closet, there was a bride. There you were.

Luke’s breath almost disappeared as you knocked the wind out of his lungs. You looked beautiful. Stunning in your white dress. Magical as your hair was perfectly styled. Breathtaking with your waterproof makeup still intact, although you would look breathtaking without it as well. Ethereal as you looked at him and he realized that all the times that he missed you seemed small at how much he missed you now and how he would miss you all his life.

If there were any other adjectives to describe how you looked, he would take them all out of the dictionary and give them to you in the form of a song. Cause in his eyes there was no other beauty that could compare, that even the sadness in your eyes seemed to compliment your magnificent. And that was something he couldn’t ignore.

Without thinking it twice he took a couple of steps in front of you and cupped your face in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumb as he murmured: “What’s wrong, love?”

Hearing his voice so worried and soft shook something in you, something that you didn’t know you still had but at the same time knew that it would never go away.

More tears started streaming down your eyes as your gaze met his, making you get lost in those baby blue marbles.

“I- I don’t know what I’m doing, Lukey” You confessed in a whisper.

At the sound of his nickname, Luke felt like he could float away in a cloud of happiness. He thought you’ve forgotten. But the look on your face denoted a fear he hoped he’d never got to see again.

Your eyes were puffy red and your cheeks were flushed, not only because of the blush. And your eyes, they were terrified and Luke didn’t know what to do, so he just said.

“You’re getting married today” You didn’t miss the hint of sadness that laced those words. You hoped that could mean something.

You placed your hands on his wrist, holding his hands that were cupping your face and making them stay there. Right now it was the only comfort you got.

“I don’t know if I should-“ You choke out a sob “Luke, I’m scared- I’m so scared”

“Do you love him?” The words pained him, cutting right through his heart. But you and him were here for a reason, and that reason was waiting at the altar.

He secretly prayed that you would say no, that you would beg him to take you away and run away together, maybe elope somewhere far away and not come back to this place ever again.

He saw the hesitation in your eyes and he knew his answer.

“Y/N, I love-“

“There you are!”

Luke closed his eyes in annoyance when he felt his words get stuck in his throat as the stranger’s voice came closer to them. You quickly pulled away from him and that only made his heart break more than it already was.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Said one of the bridesmaids Luke has never seen before, he assumed that it was from the side of the groom as well, just like everything else “The ceremony is about to start, we need to go now!”

She quickly grabbed you by the wrist and practically draged you to the ceremony hall.

You were desperate. Your pleading eyes searched for Luke, begging for him to do something. But what could he do now? His shocking state left him standing right there with his eyes glued to your figure being dragged away somewhere he didn’t know you wanted to be. It all happened so fast that the only thing he could think of was that this might be the last chance he’s got to see you and all he could do was stare into your pretty eyes cloud with fear and tears.

‘Here comes the bride’ started playing through the speakers of the church and Luke clenched his fists to his side. You hated this song.

He went back to his seat minutes after the ceremony started. His three best friends were looking at him with curiosity and a thousand questions in their minds. They knew the minute that they saw you come in that those tears were not of happiness and, judging by Luke’s hard, emotionless face, he had something to do with it.

Throughout the whole ceremony, Luke couldn’t stop staring at you. It was eating him inside the fact that he knew you didn’t want this and yet you were still going through it. He couldn’t understand why. He is losing you right before his eyes and he couldn’t take that.

He knew that the moment you say ‘I do’ would be the moment his soul would die forever.

“Luke?”

He knew something was wrong. He knew it the moment he parked the car in a freaking church and your eyes filled with tears just confirmed it to him.

“Luke, are you okay?” Michael whispered once again, concerned about the white knuckles on his best friend’s fists.

He loves you. He loves you so fucking much and he can’t let you do this.

He won’t let you do this.

“If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace"

“Fuck it,” Luke said before standing up.

In one second, all eyes were on him. He could feel the stares of strangers, the judgy whispers of the families, and even the shit-eating grins from his best friends sitting beside him. But all his attention was on you. On you and your relieved face.

“I object to this union,” He said in a firm voice that overshadowed the murmurs, leaving everyone completely quiet.

He could see your eyes clouding with tears and the way your lips seemed to be saying his name in one breath. That was all he needed to keep going.

Luke took a few steps to the side, walking until he ended up in the middle of the aisle, looking at you and only you.

“Y/N, I love you,” He said, earning a few gasps from the public “I love you since the day I met you, the day I first asked you to be mine, and even on the day I lost you. I was an idiot who didn’t know how to take care of the magic we created and decided that it was best to let it go before it went out of hand. But you, you always believed in magic; you always believed in me and, Y/N that’s why I’m here telling you that I am still in love with you. And that you are making a big mistake here, just like I did when I lost you. But we are still on time to make everything right.

This, however, is not right and you know it. Where are you in all of this? Do they know your favorite flowers or that your favorite song includes a swear word? Do they know the way you take your coffee or your favorite colors? Do they know how much you love to dance, especially when no one is watching?

I know you, baby. I know you enough to say with certainty that this is not what you wanted. I know how much you love rain and how you wish time would stop every time you take a shower so it could last longer. I know that you cry during every movie, even if they have a happy ending because you always believed in them. I know you never want to break someone’s heart so you are willing to take the hurt as long as the other person is okay. I know that my biggest regret is losing you, cause you are the only thing I got right in my life.

You are life, fire, spark, patience, and love. You are the kindest person on earth and you deserve so much more than this world could give. No one deserves you, darling but I would spend the rest of my days trying to.

I’m in love with you Y/N L/N. Please, don’t- don’t marry him”

Luke’s eyes were watery as he swallowed down a sob on the last part of his speech. His eyes never left yours for a second as his body visibly shook with anxiety and fear, waiting for your answer.

You, on the other hand, were smiling through the tears “I love you too, Luke” You said loud enough for all to hear, and Luke felt like he could breathe again, a smile growing wide as he let a few tears roll down his eyes.

You ran down the aisle to his arms, fully sinking into them as you wrapped your arms around his waist. Luke’s chuckle reverberated through his chest as he picked you up and spun you around in your wedding dress, finally putting you down and looking right into your eyes, now clouded with happy tears.

“I told you you were going to look beautiful in white”

He kissed you with all the love he had in his heart. It was honest, pure, and filled with happiness as the two lovers finally reunite, making the entire church erupted in cheers.

The groom, however, didn't share that excitement. He was fuming red as he started walking towards Luke with his groomsmen, calling you derogatory names as he was ready to start a fight.

“Oh, fuck no” Said Calum, walking down to the middle of the aisle along side Ashton and Michael, creating a safe distance between the two of you and the fight that was about to start. Phillip was not happy, but before he could give the first punch Calum’s fist was already on his face, making him tumble back with a bloody nose “Take that horse lover!”

All hell broke loose in the middle of church as punches were thrown carelessly. The three Australians seemed to be winning the fight with ease, beating the asses of your now ex-fiancé and his friends.

The public was too distracted by the fight to notice how you walked away from the aisle as you cheered on your friends to kick their kneecaps. Luke took your hand and pulled you towards him, still laughing as he began tugging on it for you to follow, and so you did.

You ran as fast as you could, leaving everyone behind without a second thought. The only thing in your mind being the love you had for each other and how you won’t take it for granted this time.

“I love you,” He said as you reached the car, placing his hands at the side of your waist and leaning in for a kiss filled with adrenaline “I fucking love you, Y/N”

You wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him back with all the love you kept from him during all these years “I love you too, Luke. We are meant for forever”

“Forever and beyond”

It was a crazy sight from every point of view. The man with the messy hair and the girl in a wedding dress kissing in the middle of a church parking lot while the guests all peered from the entrance of the building, four of them bleeding through their nose with tears in their black eyes, and three of them with their clothes all messed up and sweaty, smiling triumphantly as they watched their friends live their love again.

With one last kiss, Luke helped you get inside the car and he quickly got to the other side, starting the engine just in time to hear the bells chime. Marking the start of your real happily ever after with the love of your life.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @myloverboyash

258 notes · View notes

ackerslut · 3 years

Note

For your requests: Lower Decks senior crew meeting when they talk about dumb stuff. I saw the bar stool meeting in moist vessel and honestly, that was favorite part of that episode.

My apologies! I know this has been sitting in my inbox forever!!

Set in season 1 II AO3 Link

T'Ana is three fingers into her whiskey when Carol drops into her chair. Stress lines combined with her haphazardly styled hair indicates that she's been dealing with a certain wild ensign again. T'Ana feels equal parts amused and exasperated by the fact that Mariner could so easily get under the skin of their captain, but makes no mention of it.

"Aren't you on duty?" Ransom asks, sitting in his chair backwards like he's William fucking Ryker. Whatever, she's not going to ruin his dreams.

She throws back the rest of her drink. "And what of it?" T'Ana lets a bit of a growl into her voice.

Ransom holds up his hands placatingly. Carol eyes her empty glass longingly.

"Sorry-!" Billups yips, flying through the doorway so fast it almost doesn't have time to open for him. "-I didn't realize we had a-"

"It's fine," Carol mutters. "Take a seat."

Billups sits next to Stevens, who's been making weird eye contact with Ransom.

T'Ana doesn't want to know. She pulls her flask out of her lab jacket and takes a swig.

"Is this about the away mission?" Ransom asks, sighing. "Because I swear I didn't know the Gadaorianzes believed bathbombs were devil worship-"

"It's not about that," Carol interrupts, rubbing her temples. By the look on her face it's clear she and Ransom are going to be discussing that in great detail later.

"Okay then," Ransom glances around the room puzzled. "Then what's-"

Carol mumbles something incomprehensible to everyone but T'Ana. Sometimes having enhanced hearing is a perk.

This is not one of those times.

T'Ana pulls out her second flask from her boot and drains it.

"Uh, I didn't quite catch that-" Stevens begins.

"It's about Mariner!" Carol snaps.

T'Ana flattens her ears and rolls her eyes. "You've got to be kidding me."

Shaxs, who's been relatively quiet thus far, exchanges a commiserating glance with her.

"She's never where she should be, she disregards mission protocols, she sasses her superiors, she's not even adhering to dress code half the time-"

"Just demote her then," Ransom says, looking relieved that he's not about to be reamed out in front of the entire senior crew. Yet.

Carol narrows her eyes. "I can't," she mutters.

T'Ana raises an eyebrow. Or her equivalent of one, anyway. "What, she some bigwig's daughter? That make sense," she snorts.

The Captain's eyes get even more squinty. "What's that supposed to mean, Dr. T'Ana?"

"Oh, you let her get away with waaay to much shit for her to be anything less than an Admiral's daughter."

"I heard she's a spy for section-"

"Everyone knows you can't trust shit from the rumor mill on this ship, Billups."

"I'm saying it would make sense! Do you know how much she can bench press?"

"And she's so tiny too," Ransom says, mournfully.

"Eh-"

"Not really-"

"Actually she's taller than me-"

Ransom, who has about eight inches on everyone present, just scowls at the table.

"Cool, so Mariner's making the Captain spazz out," Steven's says, leaning back in his chair. He clearly trying to pull off casual and suave, but not succeeding due to the fact that you can only lean so far back in the swivel chairs before toppling over. "What are we supposed to do about it?"

"This isn't 'problem solving meeting,'" Ransom hisses, "it's our weekly group therapy session, Steve, keep up."

"Wait that's a thing?"

"How long have you been on this ship?" T'Ana asks.

"Four years."

"And you haven't noticed that Freeman calls us in here at least once a week-if not twice-to complain about her mentee?"

"She's not my mentee!"

"You're emotionally attached to her, just sign the adoption papers already," T'Ana shoots back, earning a chuckle of Shaxs.

"You do get this strangely constipated look around her," he adds.

"Hmm, just like the one you get when you look at Ensign Rutherford?" T'Ana adds, smirking.

"I don't have fatherly feelings toward-"

"You all disgust me," T'Ana says, shaking her head.

"Don't worry, someday you'll find an adorable, wide eyed Ensign to adopt," Carol says, patronizingly, something of a grin melting away the stress in her face.

"So you're admitting that you wanna adopt the problem child?"

Carol scowls. "I didn't call this meeting to be-"

"We are in fucking basement levels of denial," T'Ana groans. She drops her head onto the table and feels around in her back pocket for another flask.

"Just throw her in the brig again and be done with it," Ransom mutters, circling back to the original topic at hand. "It's not as if she can get up to much trouble there."

"Don't say that," Billups moans, probably remembering the last time Mariner was thrown in the brig. T'Ana hadn't been there for it personally, but she knows Carol deleted the security footage for therapy related reasons.

"Can't you just bribe her? Can she be bribed?" Steven muses.

"That's against regulation." Carol's considering expression is at odds with her words.

"Find her weakness and use it against her," Ransom says, filing his nails.

"She doesn't have weaknesses." Carol's face is now intense.

"She has friends right? Surely they're an influence on her."

Carol scowls. "Trust me, I tried that. Her best friend has some sort of loyalty crush on her and the rest of them would sooner break the rules than try and intervene."

"You have only one choice than," Shaxs says, voice rumbling.

Everyone turns to look at him.

"Give up."

"What!"

"Did he really just say that?"

"Shaxs!"

"No no. He's right."

T'Ana grabs the bottle of vodka ducktapped under the table and uncorks it. It's going to be a long afternoon.

16 notes · View notes

lovelivingmydreams · 3 years

Text

A might have been part 3

@Rondoe well, I wouldn’t dare make you wait. Here’s the next installment of my @kingcreativityau au. Hope you all like it. And no I’m not don yet.

Part 1

Part 2

Growing together

And now everyone was looking at him curiously. Why did he have to open his mouth?

It was somewhere in middle school when Prince came with an announcement.

“We should have names!”

Everyone looked up at that. “What do you mean kiddo? We have names,” Morality wondered.

“No. We have titles. I mean real names!” Prince insisted.

A few moments passed by. “That sounds good actually,” Fear muttered softly. Middle school was hard on him. There was so much to worry about and so many expectations. And now mother had scheduled an appointment with a doctor to address the worries Thomas was having.

He tried to handle them. But lately there were always some creatures following him around and he didn’t always have the energy to deal with them head on.

“I mean… I just… Well…” How to explain?

“It would be beneficial to differentiate between the side and their job,” Logic voiced.

Fear nodded. Relieved someone else thought so too. He hated telling the twins ‘No’. Especially Prince, who always took it personal. The thing was, he thought most of their ideas sounded great. But he also felt he needed to contain them a bit for Thomas’ sake.

And every time he did, he felt like he might as well have punched them.

He hadn’t expected Logic to be the one to understand that and put it into words so well.

“Exactly! I even already thought of one for me!” Prince grinned proudly.

“From now on, you may call me Prince Roman!” he declared.

“Oooh! Then I wanna be Remus!” Duke, or Remus jumped in.

“Oh, this sounds fun! Let’s all meet up tonight and go around reintroducing ourselves alright?”

Everyone nodded and went on with their activities of the day while thinking about names.

When the evening came they all sat in a circle.

“I’ll start!” Morality suggested cheerily. “Logic helped me pick this one out,” he explained with a warm smile to the studious side who merely nodded in acknowledgement.

“You all know me as Morality. And I’ll always try and make sure Thomas is a good person and that you all are looked after. I might sometimes have to put my foot down for that, but I want you to know that I don’t love you any less when I do that than when I go along with your ideas.

Call me Patton, of dad if you want,” he explained with a wave.

Then he grinned widely. “It’s funny, you see, because it’s like Paternal, which means fatherly, and Pathos which is about arguments driven by emotion. It’s a pun!” he giggled. Everyone smiled at that. Morality… Patton, loved his puns.

“Now you go Logic!” he suggested.

Logic nodded and adjusted his glasses. “You know me as Logic. I will always strive for efficiency and intelligent decisions. But… I suppose I quite enjoy some of all of your ‘zanier’ antics and while I might try to put a stop to them in pursuit of my purpose, that does not mean I don’t appreciate your company. Call me Logan… Or if you must, Teacher,” he allowed the last bit with a nod to Roman who had been calling him that on and off since the twins formed. The prince beamed at Logan’s official acceptance of that nickname.

“Logan is not only similar to my title, but it also refers to Logos, arguments based on reason.”

Patton clapped his hands in excitement.

“You wanna officially introduce yourselves too kiddo’s?” he asked the twins.

Roman nodded eagerly. “You know me as the Prince! Thomas’ honor, dreams and creative exploits are my top priority. I may get carried away by that sometimes. Therefore I want you to know, that even when I don’t act like it, I know that you all care for me, and I care for you in return.” Fear might be imagining it, but he felt like that was added for his benefit. It was a relief though. He was really starting to worry he was making his closest friends hate him.

Please call me Roman,” Prince bowed. “It refers to the great Roman Empire and Romance! The most epic of adventures!” he explained proudly.

“I am the Duke! And I just want to have a good time. I like you guys though! Even if you’re boring sometimes. Call me Remus!”

Everyone chuckles. If Remus had wanted to shock them, he would’ve joined in the mushy reintroduction theme. But he was being his classical self.

Though now that Fear thought about it… Had Remus put more thought in his name than just that it related to Roman’s? Should they talk about this?

“Alright! Just two more! Fear? Do you want to go next?” Morality asked kindly.

Fear snapped out of his miniature crisis.

“Um… Okay…” he sighed, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “I’m fear,” for now. “And I’ll worry a lot. And I’ll second guess whether we should do anything a lot. Even when I get my way, I’ll wonder if that was the right thing. But, I just want everyone to be safe. I… You can call me Virgil.”

Everyone smiled at him. “I see. It’s a play on ‘Vigilant’ and a reference to the Roman poet of the same name. Thomas researched him recently for a school project,” Logan deduced.

“Um… Yeah. He sounded pretty cool,” Virgil admitted, feeling a bit better now that that part was over.

“It’s a great name Virgil,” Patton assured him.

“Indeed! A wonderful fit!” Roman agreed. Virgil smiled and relaxed. He’d been worried they’d think it was weird.

Then everyone turned to Deceit.

“I’m not telling,” he smirked deviously.

“Come on!” Roman complained.

“Even if I did. How are you so sure I’d be telling the truth?” he asked coyly as he studied his nails.

Virgil rolled his eyes. Dee and his dramatics. But, Virgil had promised Dee that he would have his back.

“If he isn’t ready to tell us then that’s fine. Right?” he spoke up.

The others exchanged glances. “I suppose,” Roman groaned reluctantly. Not a fan of not being in on secrets.

“Virgil has a good point. Deceit can tell us whenever he feels ready,” Patton agreed.

Everyone left it at that and went back to work.

Then the dreaded doctor’s visit came. Everyone was sitting listening tensely as the doctor explained things to mother.

Virgil was curled up in the middle, flanked by Roman and Patton. Remus was standing with Deceit and Logan a few steps back.

Anxiety. Virgil was now officially, Anxiety. He hated it.

Roman had one arm around his shoulders and squeezed it. “It’s not so bad…” he tried.

“Thomas is going to hate me,” Virgil stated. Of course he would. Fear was bad enough, but Anxiety?

Roman frowned. “No he won’t!” he insisted. And then Thomas spoke up.

“So… It’s like having a very protective friend in my head?” he asked nervously.

Virgil’s head shot up. What… How?

“Roman! That’s so sweet!” Patton smiled proudly.

Virgil blinked up at Roman while the doctor chuckled and agreed that that was a good way to look at it.

“Your… Friend, can be overly cautious though. And sometimes he will make you think things are worse than they are. He may assume bad things will happen when there is no reason to think that. And sometimes he might think you are in real danger when you are not. So it is important to learn how to work with him. Ready to help your anxiety out Thomas?”

Thomas nodded and Virgil felt like he could cry.

“Thanks Ro…” he smiled.

“Of course V. I wasn’t going to let some doctor talk badly about my best friend,” he stated firmly.

Virgil relaxed a little and Thomas followed suit.

Things didn’t exactly suddenly go over roses now that Thomas was aware of Virgil’s intentions.

And Virgil was not rid of his old demons.

“Hey,” he muttered as he approached the twins in the dream room. A stress bunny jumping around his feet.

“Virgil… There is something right… There,” Roman pointed out, gesturing to the bunny.

“I know… I can’t get it to go away,” Virgil sighed tiredly as he sat down and curled up on himself.

“… Why not?” Remus wondered. Virgil always made the doubts go away somehow.

“Because this one is my own thoughts, not Thomas’.” Virgil explained.

“Can we help?” Roman offered, hating to see his friend suffer.

“Can…” Virgil’s eyes filled with tears. “Can you promise you won’t leave?” he sobbed. The thought had been plaguing him on and off for ages, and now it just would not go away.

Remus and Roman sat themselves down, flanking Virgil’s shaking frame.

“Why would you think that?” Roman asked perplexed.

“He did. I… I didn’t protect him right and he left!” he sobbed. The twins looked at each other shocked. They knew who he was talking about. King.

They remembered how broken Virgil had been when they formed. They’d felt bad for being the reason he was hurting.

“Well, we aren’t going anywhere. Teasing you is way too much fun!” Remus cackled a little uncomfortable with the looming shadow of their previous form hanging over their heads.

“Indeed! I would be a rather sorry excuse for a prince if I left my most trusted knight behind wouldn’t I?”

Virgil looked up at them. He wanted to believe them so badly.

“Promise?” he insisted.

“Hope to die, stick my but full of cacti!” Remus nodded as he crossed his heart, making Virgil chuckle lightly.

“I solemnly swear that I shall not permit myself to leave your side in any permanent manner,” Roman vowed.

Virgil took in a deep breath and saw the bunny dissolve, it was enough…

It really wasn’t.

“Why not?” Roman demanded.

“Because people will be staring and when we mess up everyone will laugh at us!” Virgil replied.

“Why are you suddenly like this!? You used to love my ideas?” the prince wondered. Virgil was too worked up to notice the way his voice broke and the silent plea in his eye. He would realize all this later though, when all he could do about it was berate himself for it for months to come.

“I’ve always been like this Roman! I’m trying to keep us safe! You used to not be covered in bruises all the time from the other kids being mean to Thomas!” he countered indicating the fresh mark on the Prince’s cheek.

Roman flinched away and covered the mark self-consciously. “Well, I’m sorry I’m not as perfect as I used to be! I’m trying!”

That shut Virgil up. “Princey… I’m sorry, I never meant to make you feel like you did something wrong,” he whispered.

Roman was fighting to hold back tears now. He couldn’t cry. Heroes don’t cry.

“You say that but, you haven’t really hung out with us for weeks. You are always of chasing shadows and when you aren’t… Is it me? Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry I’m not him. I’m working so hard to be like him though. I just, don’t know how he kept you happy,” Roman confessed, not looking at Virgil, playing with the edge of his shirt instead.

“Roman, I never wanted you or Remus to be him. And I was different back then too. Dealing with me was easier back then. K-” Suddenly Virgil felt his hand clasp in front of his mouth. What…? Deceit.

Virgil frowned and managed to release his hold of his mouth.

“Give me a second Ro. I’ll be right back. We can talk about this while watching a movie or something okay? And… We’ll see about trying out later. Maybe I was… doing those negative thinking things the doctor told us about,” Virgil allowed. Roman looked up at him with a shaky smile.

“Really? You’ll hear me out?” he asked.

“Really. I shouldn’t have shut you down like that,” Virgil acknowledged. He did that sometimes. Let his job overtake his own judgement. The thoughts were just so hard to ignore sometimes.

Now however he had a snake to deal with.

“Janus!” Virgil growled when he got to the willow. He and Remus were told Jan’s name a while ago.

Why them and not the rest neither knew but they kept the secret.

“What is it Virgil?” Janus drawled as he got up from his spot in the grass.

“Why did you make K… Him taboo?” Virgil growled. He could understand Janus’ position on most things. Though they rarely agreed. Virgil had supported the others in the decision to stay true to Thomas’ true self as opposed to pretending so they could fit in. He wasn’t sure if he liked the consequences of this decision, but the alternative had filled him with even more dread. He could not let Thomas put himself in a situation where every action actually had to be second guessed in order to keep up the act.

Janus had understood his position too and there were no hard feelings.

But this… This was a bit too far.

“No use in dwelling on the past Virgil. Surely you see that? The taboo has been in place for years and you only now noticed?” Janus pointed out.

“Because no one else was talking about him! Do you know how often I hid away to mourn him on my own because I thought no one cared!?” Virgil demanded. Janus was a bit taken aback by this and even looked a little guilty. He had resented Patton for using Virgil’s grief to get closer to him, but was making King a taboo really necessary? Had it been right to deny Virgil the ability to talk through his grief?

“That’s not important though. Roman is asking about him and I don’t care if you hated him. Roman needs…”

Suddenly Virgil was shoved against the tree, a hand on his throat.

“How dare you? How dare you say that I hated him!?” Janus growled. “You know nothing!”

“Wha… What am I supposed to think?” Virgil gasped. “With how you always hid from him. What he did to you. And how you treated the twins at first,” he explained as he tried to break free from the grasp. “You never told me anything. No one did. Not even him!”

Then the grip was gone and Virgil fell to his knees. Coughing something fierce.

“I’m sorry. You are right,” Janus admitted, trying to collect himself again. He shouldn’t let it get to him. It’s been years.

“But the past is in the past. There is no use upsetting anyone by bringing it up,” Janus decided. “Roman thinks he’s falling short. I need to talk about Him to explain that he isn’t!” Virgil insisted.

Janus was silent for a moment. “Fine. You have an hour.” Janus allowed.

Virgil didn’t waste a moment and hurried to Roman’s room where he found everything set up for movie night.

“Are you sure you have time for a movie? We can do this some other day or…” Roman wondered, playing with his sash nervously.

Virgil rarely saw Roman so insecure. Only when they were alone together. Was it ecause he was anxiety? Did he somehow affect the others the way his corner of the mind would?

Or maybe, maybe Roman just let down his guard around him. Remus had that with Jan, Virgil could tell the chaotic side went to the willow when he was feeling down and he was always in better spirits when he returned. It was a relief to know that Remus had someone to rely on when Virgil couldn’t be there.

King used to sometimes show him a brief glimpse into his fears and insecurities, but that was it. Virgil couldn’t recall a single time he actually admitted to those things out loud. He might’ve that day. But not to him.

Virgil didn’t know why Roman would turn to him of all sides if that was what this was, but he would do his best to be there for him regardless.

“I’m never sure. But I made a decision. Let’s do this,” Virgil said as he sat down next to Roman who started the movie. Virgil didn’t even register which one it was. Just that it had the Disney theme music at the start.

“King was my first friend,” he started.

“He was… larger than life. Always seemed to know just what to do, though he was winging it most of the time. Making a plan was not his strong suit,” he recalled fondly.

“He messed up a lot actually, though I didn’t always see it like that at the time.

He had a very hard time listening to others. Pat and Logan had the hardest time getting through to him. He would take time to listen to me, but mostly to put my worries at ease. Sometimes that would lead to an idea and he’d be off creating something. I remember chasing after him a lot.

He struggled giving other’s credit for their work at times, though he tried, he just always had to work in a complement for himself as well. And you would never catch him admitting he had flaws.

I cared about him. More than I ever got to tell him. But he wasn’t perfect Ro. And that was fine by me,” he explained. Roman was listening with wide eyes to this story, the most he’d ever heard anyone say of his and Remus’ original form. This was the most he’d heard Virgil say in one go to be honest.

“Was he handsome?” he then asked.

Virgil laughed at that. “Really? That’s what you want to know?”

Roman’s firm nod made Virgil roll his eyes. “I guess,” he shrugged. “Not as handsome as you though,” he assured the prince. Roman chuckled and punched Virgil’s shoulder. “Stop it! You’ll make me blush!”

They laughed together a bit and then Virgil got serious again.

“My happiness didn’t fall solely on him though. Pat and Lo were there for me too. Even Dee helped out a few times though we only really got close after… Anyway. It wasn’t his job to make me happy, and it isn’t yours. We do this stuff together, all of us. Right?”

Roman nodded. Right. The six of them together. It was hard to remember that he could rely on them sometimes. He was a Prince. Wasn’t he supposed to be able to fix things on his own? To protect them?

But Virgil doesn’t lie… So maybe he could try to allow himself to need the others…

Then Virgil sighed. “IF, we try out, we have to be super prepared. I don’t want to hear you complain about having to practice our audition song over and over. Got it?”

Roman’s face lit up at that. “You mean it?” he asked.

“IF,” Virgil repeated. “We have to talk about it with the others first. This’ll affect all of us,” Virgil warned. “And only if you promise.”

Roman nodded. “I promise! Let’s go tell the rest now!” And just like that the movie was abandoned in favor of rushing to meet the others in the front of the mind.

Needless to say Thomas got cast and while it all was a lot of hard work, Thomas never felt so at home as in the theater.

#kingau #creativitytwins #Virgil Sanders #Patton Sanders #Logan Sanders #Janus Sanders #sad #angst #kingcreativityau

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james-potters-animagus · 4 years

Text

amortentia

character: george weasley

warnings: none

pairing: george x fem reader

george, fred, angelina and y/n sat in their potions class as snape rambled on about the amortentia potion in his normal, monotone, yet somehow characteristic voice. y/n slumped against george’s shoulder and he tried to not laugh when she began to not-so-quietly fake snore. snape caught wind of this, but let it go seeing as y/n was, in fact, his daughter.

y/n had fallen for george in their second year, when they first officially met. even though they both were in gryffindor they never managed to really cross paths. that was until y/n managed to fall in the middle of one of their pranks. it also helped a bit that angelina and fred were dating.

angelina and y/n had been friends since the train ride to hogwarts in their first year.

angelina sat alone in her compartment when another y/h/c(your hair color) girl walked by and asked to sit by her. angelina nodded and moved her bag. “i’m y/n. y/n y/l/n.” she stuck out her hand for angelina to shake and angelina took it.

“angelina johnson. pleasure to meet you!” she smiled warmly and sat down across from her.

“george! not that way!” fred yelled as george came scrambling around the corner trying to desperately catch a flying trinket of some sort. she caught it right before it hit her square in the nose and handed it back to the tall, lanky red head.

“i believe this is yours.” she giggled slightly, watching the shocked expression on his face. he nodded at her and murmured a small thank you and apology.

“hey fred, i think we found a new seeker.” george whispered to his twin as they walked down the corridor.

“and apparently your new girlfriend. you seem to be a little intrigued.” fred teased.

“well, weasleys, since you seem to be so sure of yourselves why don’t you tell us what you smell in your amortentia?” snape accused, watching fred and george like a hawk.

“yeah george, what do you smell?” fred mocked, shoving his shoulder.

“uh, cherries, a bakery? and uh, fresh parchment.” the ginger muttered out, turning his blush away from the y/h/c girl. george knew exactly who he smelled, and so did everyone else. except y/n, miraculously.

“and you fred?”

“nothing. absolutely nothing.” he snickered.

“you brewed it wrong, five points from gryffindor.

fred earned a smack over the back of the head from y/n for that one.

“y/n? what do you smell?” angelina asked, knowing full well who she smelled.

“firework smoke, freshly baked bread, and chestnuts.” she settled, writing her discovery in her notes. once again, everyone knew who she smelled, except george.

fred smirked and leaned towards his twin, writing down notes in his own book. “george, you know she smells you, right?” george gave his twin a puzzling look and shook his head.

“no way. our friendship is strictly platonic. can you even define platonic?” george mocked, setting his quill down to pick up his cauldron.

fred faked a hurt gasp and smacked his hand over his chest. “you underestimate me dear brother. i am smarter than you seem to believe. i’m going to get you and y/n together, one way or another.” he smirked and watched george huff and puff away.

severus saw the way those two were head over heels about each other and finally decided to be the one to do something about it. of course his fatherly instinct kicked in and he didn’t want his baby growing up, but he cared more about her happiness. snape could tell george was the light in her life.

so, severus asked george to stay after to “talk about his grades”.

“mr. weasley, can you stay after class? we need to have a chat.” snape let out watching the boy carefully. george nodded and fred raised his eyebrows at him.

“you called me here?” george asked, leaving his books on the table and walking towards the front of the room.

“ah, yes. i wanted to talk to you about my daughter. y/n.” george’s stomach did a flip, but he contained himself and let the man continue.

“i see how you two look at each other. you’re in love. and i want what will make y/n happiest. that’s you. so, i want you to stop being a timid little girl, and ask her out. you know she’ll say yes.” george’s eyes widened. snape was telling him to ask his daughter out?

“y-you want me, george weasley, to ask out your daughter, y/n snape, on a date.” george reaffirmed, still in disbelief.

“yes.” snape nodded, “she fancies you, and you fancy her. you seem to be the best candidate for her anyways.”

george was still in disbelief when he met up with fred in the corridor after.

after telling fred all about what happened with snape in the classroom they were getting up to go to their dorm when they saw y/n walking down the stairs, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“hey y/n. what are you doin’ down here at this time of night?” fred smirked, moving slightly as to guide her to sit between the mischievous twins.

“just a bad dream.” she murmured, sitting down next to the pair and resting her head on george’s shoulder. fred gave him a light smirk and shook his head.

“alright lovebirds, i’m going to bed.” fred abruptly said, patting the empty spot next to him and winking at his brother.

y/n lay fast asleep on george’s shoulder and he lightly sighed. he had one of two options here, a, he could let y/n sleep, or, he could risk waking her up to carry her to her dorm. he decided on the latter and began his journey up to her dorm.

she woke up once george hit the first stair, mumbling something about cakes. “hi georgie.” she giggled, watching his face turn a bit pink.

“hi y/n/n. wanna go back to your dorm?” he asked, already on the way there.

“no, but i wanna go back to yours.” she playfully winked. george then realized why his brother liked having y/n around so much. she and fred were very alike.

“okay.” he shrugged, and pulled her body up over his shoulder.

“george! hey!” she laughed loudly, flailing around a bit.

george relished in the sound, never wanting this moment to end. he was definitely head over heels for this girl.

george and y/n ended up in his dorm and he lightly placed her on the bed, remembering he had roommates who were trying to sleep.

“you have to be quiet love but you can sleep with me here.” george whispered, laying the girl down and grabbing the blanket from the floor.

“can we cuddle?” y/n asked, yawning a bit.

“of course.” george winked, laying down next to her and pulling her small frame into his arms.

george looked down and saw her breathing mellow out as she fell asleep.

“goodnight y/n. i love you.” he whispered, kissing her forehead.

“i love you too you big goof.” she smirked, reaching up to capture his lips in a deep, slow kiss.

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whirlybirbs · 4 years

Text

@lucilleifer submitted:

Hey, you 100% don’t have to post this but I saw where you answered that ask an order 66, and I was possessed by my love of Talon squadron and wrote this. I hope I didn’t overstep any boundaries but I love your work and ideas!!!

BIRBS NOTE: THIS ABSOLUTELY ENDED ME. IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I... I ABSOLUTELY DIED. I JUST.

——-

The former general closed her eyes, listening to the happy sounds around her. The air was just cool enough to be called brisk, but the planets twin blue suns kissed the surface and warmed everything it touched. A slight breeze carried sounds of local fauna, swaying leaves, and feet running through grass. Even with all the tragedy in the galaxy, the force seemed at ease, content for the moment. One of the children was playing with the stray canine like creature that had stuck around, encouraging taunts to catch the stick he had thrown. Not too far away, Nyx was attempting patient instruction to his oldest, a preteen daughter that was more reckless that her mother and father combined.

“You remember all the rules-this isn’t a toy. You wanna find your target, grip, breath, pull the trigger.” She heard his instruction- his voice the fatherly mix of encouragement and apprehension, and her lip tugged upwards. Quite a different voice than he used on the shinies, not one curse word.

“I know, Dad, you taught me all this last night!” She groaned, quite used to her father’s overprotectiveness, voice full of excitement.

The youngest child babbled beside her, gathering her attention. The toddler, still new to walking, was holding on the the hem of her robe like a lifeline as she wobbled a few inches away, towards the path that lead to town. Following her line of sight, the former Jedi found what commanded the child’s attention.

Uncles Hauler and Grim.

As they approached, she saw Grim adjust the medical bag on his shoulder, the expression on his face telling her he’d just snarked the hell out of the heavy gunner turned mechanic. Hauler was laughing, easily dragging a busted (what looked like a ) kitchen droid on the tarp behind him, yet another project for him and the kids to stay up late working on.

Nyx looked away from the lesson for a moment to lock eyes with her, his scruff was a few days past scruff, his war hardened body had softened with age and fatherhood, but his eyes still looked at his love like she hung every star in the sky. The force wielder was in similar condition, no longer battle hardened. Motherhood suited her. Happiness suited her.

“Dad look, Uncle Grim and Uncle Hauler are home!” Your daughter shouted happily, instinctively turning to the returning men and with her turned the blaster towards them. This stole her first in command’s attention as the immediately pointed the blaster back towards the makeshift target.

Ignoring the reprimanding Nyx began, she picked up the infant and entered the homestead they had built after the war. Fennec, who she hadn’t seen all day, was watching the events out of the window.

“Find a stopping place?” She smiled, floating a piece of fruit from the bowl to the infant’s hands. Happy gurgles made Fennec smile and nod.

“Finished four chapters. Figured I should surface, make sure no one’s doing anything reckless.” He teased.

“You always did keep them- us- in line. Go outside, get some fresh air. I’ll start some dinner.” She offered, moving towards the counter space behind him. Her former second in command stopped her, halting her with a gentle yet firm grip on her bicep.

“I afraid I can’t let you do that, General.” He told her, voice ominously familiar. Her eyebrows furrowed together, force filling her with unease. In the back of her mind, she noted she couldn’t hear those happy sounds from outside. Every fiber of her being filled with unease.

“What do you mean, Fennec?” She pushed, blinking quickly. Suddenly he was back in his perfectly painted armor, she was in her old Jedi regalia. Something was definitely wrong.

“You’ve got somewhere to be.” Was his only answer. She noticed the blaster in his hand too late, but the sound and pain came from behind.

Somehow still standing, she whipped around slowly remembering what really happened at the end of the war.

Nyx was in the doorway, Grim and Hauler behind him, and the late Lucky, Shade, and Smokeshow behind them. They were all armored and blasters were at the ready. The force ran like fire through her veins, reminding her of the betrayal, loss, and hatred of the Republic she had somehow forgotten about.

“General, you’re late.”

Several blasts of blue light flashed, maybe happiness hadn’t suited her.

Prying her eyes open, she sank back into reality. This dream was so recurrent that she no longer work up disoriented or woke up in a cold sweat. No matter how real it seemed every time she closed her eyes, it always ended the same. She’d grown used to the betrayal, numb to it just to see her love again.

Echoes of her friends voices both from the past and her dreams rang through her mind as she gracefully rose from the sleeping mat in her quarters.

The wide view port offered a view of empty space, a planet and millions of stars in the distance. Gold eyes picking out every detail as she clipped her re-engineered saber to her belt.

A sharp knock gained her attention, and an urgent voiced muffled through, “Sir, we located the rebels. Your needed on the bridge.”

“I’ll be there shortly.” The inquisitor replied, voice sharp and strong. If there was any other information, it was likely the messenger decided it was better for his health to leave it be. Her golden eyes closed, one hand resting on the cold transperisteel between her and the void of space, “I’ll be back soon, boys.”

Opening her eyes, she caught her reflection in the viewport. The black robes, new saber, tired gold eyes rimmed red, even her skin had taken a different pallor. Part of her wondered if Nyx would even recognize her anymore, if he’d understand why she was doing this.

The other part of her shoved that question down, it didn’t matter if he’d understand. He died. Everyone died. Dead people don’t have to understand. I’m doing it for them. For him.

Almost instinctively, she ignited the red saber. The searing, jagged red glow served as a reminder, of all the hatred, all the loss, the betrayal she had suffered. Centering her emotions, the saber deactivated and refound its place on her hip as she turned to exit.

I’ll see you the next time I close my eyes, my love, but I have to do this.

_______

Again I’m really sorry if I overstepped any boundaries. I love your work and all you do!!

#FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK #talon squadron #submission

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sope-and-shine · 4 years

Text

Lamb & Wolf: Chapter 2

-> Jimin x Reader -> SFW // Utopia!AU // angst with a fair amount of fluff // -> Word Count: 10k (I didn’t realize how much I wrote oH MY GOSH) ->Summary: Death has been asleep for 1,000 years and is awoken from their slumber. Humanity has forgotten them, but they will not be forgotten. After the first death in the many years after their disappearance, Death has returned to make the world right again. In an attempt to keep Death from taking lives away, a group of individuals seek them out to stop their acts of injustice, but will they really stop death? -> Warning(s): mild gun violence - there’s a brief fight, character death, character injury, loss, grief, guilt, mild language, mild violence.

Once again, Death will play a major role in this series. This is a sensitive topic, so please use caution!

A/N: This chapter really took me for a spin! I hate writing actions, so this one was a lot of work for me! I am very excited to be posting this. Belle and I really put a lot of thought into this storyline! Also, if you see that I missed anything in my warnings that I should have put, PLEASE do not hesitate to tell me! I’ve spent about 20 minutes trying to make sure I’ve tagged and warned correctly, but I wanna make sure!

And a big, big, big thank you to @multycoloredtaco, @sakuraguks, and my pals in the cypher writers net for helping me out! This chapter was a lot of work, and I’m so happy to be posting it!

After the new Pangea settled into the super continent known today, there was debate across the already established nations on how they should continue to divide. A handful of world leaders at the time wanted to take advantage of the destruction as a way to secure more land to claim as their own in hopes of ruling over all of Pangea one day now that it was a much more achievable means. However, there was still a large portion of the congregation at the time that rejected the idea. If they were to survive as they had before, then they had to accommodate for the new climates and habitual changes that had occurred when the plates shifted.

So, it was decided that they would leave country borders as is, however, there would be major changes to ensure everyone’s safety. Large cities and small towns alike were given materials to construct a protective wall to keep out the large, dangerous animals that were now a threat. No longer would they be known by their previous names, but by specific sanction numbers and providence abbreviation.

In 1,000 years, you’d never traveled anywhere beyond KOR Sanction 34. You have a vague memory of visiting another “country” to visit family, but the memory was so long ago it feels more like a dream than anything. Now, you were traveling on a train going South from the tip of Pangea to the warmer climates below in hopes of making it to ITA Sanction 5,193 in 2 days time.

“I know each and everyone of you will do your best to see that we succeed.” Ambassador Carrol had said as his staff prepared your cars behind him, “I have high hopes for this mission and this team.”

His presence was calming and his fatherly smile quelled your nerves for the impending trip. No one knew how long the mission would last, especially once groups from all over came into contact in hopes of finding a way to end Death’s sudden reign of terror.

“Hoseok. (Y/n).” He called for the two of you as everyone in the group went to the cars. He made sure to isolate you both from his daughter as he carefully waved her off to a designated car. He made sure she was out of ears reach before he turned his attention to the two of you. His confident smile has weakened, “Take care of Lina for me, okay? I know you always do, but please make sure she comes home.”

“We’ll all come home safe and sound.” Hoseok assured him with his radiant heart-shaped smile. Always so confident and sure of himself and others. You knew if you couldn’t take care of Lina while on the trip, he would do anything in his power to bring her back safe, “It’s your plan anyways, so we know it’ll work!”

You had merely nodded in agreement before being ushered into the car with Lina and Bomi, the beautiful sight of city hall fading from view as you drove away.

2 and a half weeks. That’s how long it took to assemble a team after Death’s reappearance and send you on your way with everything that you would need. In that time, the death toll had grown larger, nearing 300,000 people in such a short time. In your life, you couldn’t remember a time when so many people had died, you couldn’t even name 2 people that had died back when it was a normal occurrence. To witness such an atrocity after so many years without a single death, it was a lot to handle. But at least you’d have your friends there with you.

And the new members of your team.

There wasn’t much time to acquaint yourself with the others that had joined the task force when you arrived at City Hall. As soon as you’d arrived at the building, you were all debriefed on the mission with a case file for each of you before you were sent on your way in a government car to the train station. Now, you were left awkwardly sitting on a train car with 3 people that you knew well and 5 people that you’d never met before in your life.

“What do we even do?” You ask, peaking over Hoseok’s shoulder to look at the men spread around the car.

The space itself is very luxurious and spread out, filled with large, brown leather armchairs on swivel bases along the windows up to the back where you sit at a mahogany table with four chairs on each side, a couch just off to the right by the windows before it.

One lone man sat at the front of the car opposite to the door, nursing a glass of what you assumed to be brandy or whiskey in one hand with his eyes shut in content. Two chairs from him, two more men sat opposite to one another. One with blue hair and a boxy smile, and the other a deep chestnut brown with a cheeky grin. They looked to be making small talk with one another, getting excited every so often during their conversation. Finally, there were the two men sitting on the only couch in the car, a blonde with his nose tucked into the manila folder gifted to everyone and a man with purple hair resting his chin on the man’s shoulder - presumably to read along with him.

It wasn’t like you weren’t comfortable working with others on the spot. Working at the hospital, you’d worked plenty of shifts with nurses from all over your hospital, as well as other hospitals within the city. You were more than happy to work in a team, but with these new guys joining your already established group?

Lina spares a glance your way, “We need to read the files my Dad’s team made and make sure we understand them before we make it to ITA Sanction 5,193 to meet with the other teams.” She says, returning to the file in front of her to continue reading through her own manila folder.

“Yeah, I get that part.” You sigh, looking once more to the men behind them. You catch the eyes of the broad shouldered, purple haired man sitting next to a blonde by the window. You keep his gaze until he winks at you, causing you to roll eyes, “I meant them.”

Hoseok laughs, “What are you? 112? They’re just boys, (Y/n).”

“Wow, Hoseok, you’re so funny. Do you do stand-up on weekends too?” Bomi asks, sarcasm evident in her voice. Hoseok himself only pouts, a slight glare pointed back at the woman next to you, “Now, who’s the funny one?”

”Don’t act like children!” Lina scolds, closing her folder for the first time since you’d arrived on the train and sat down at the table. She moves a strand of dirty blonde hair behind her ear, closing her eyes to give herself a moment's peace before speaking again. “We are here to work together for who knows how long, so we’re going to have to introduce ourselves.”

“I’m just concerned to be working with strangers on something like this.” You say, trying to emphasize the importance of the mission you’ve been assigned.

“Then let’s fix that.” You watch as Lina stands from her chair, adjusting her shirt momentarily before placing a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder for balance. “Hey!” She grabs their attention, “Did you guys want to go over this together? We can toss some ideas around and get to know each other while we still can.”

”I was hoping someone would ask!” The bored, purple haired man is fast to stand from his seat and approach the table. “Kim Seokjin-” He grabs the chair next to Lina and pulls it back for him to take a seat next to her, “I volunteered to be here, but I don’t know if there’s much I’ll really be able to help with.”

”(L/n) (Y/n). Nice to meet you.” You say, offering a small nod his way.

Lina takes her seat between him and Hoseok, ”I’m sure there’s something you can do to help.”

Seokjin flashes her an appreciative smile before turning in his seat to look behind him, his eyes landing on the blonde now standing behind him. ”Joon, sit down already.” He says, reaching his arm over the table to pat the empty spot in front of him for the man to sit. “Joon” moves to do so and Seokjin turns to everyone again, a proud smile on his face, “This is my husband.”

Namjoon offers a shy nod and a bashful smile, ”Kim Namjoon. I’m the Research Scientist assigned to the mission.”

”Good to see we have someone that knows what’s going on.” Bomi says.

“Taehyung-” The blue haired man from the center of the car plops down next to you, “I will be your weapons expert for this trip.”

His title takes you by surprise. Why you needed a weapons expert was beyond you, and it seemed like you weren’t the only one. Hoseok speaks up for you, “We need a weapons expert?”

“Did you want to beat Death up in a fist fight?” You turn to see the man from the front of the train leaning against the wall to your left instead of sitting in the chair closest to the table.

“I’ll do it!” The man that sat across from Taehyung slams a hand on the table, making you jump. “Jeon Jeongguk. I’m always ready to throw hands, just name a time and place.”

“Min Yoongi.” The red haired man scans over the table with an unamused expression, “I don’t recommend throwing hands with me if you plan to use them later.”

“Nice to know…” Bomi mutters, pulling a laugh from both you and Namjoon.

“It’s nice to meet you all! I’m Jung Lina and this is my husband Hoseok-” Lina turns to him and he raises a hand, “Good to meet you. We’re both volunteers for the mission.”

Bomi leans forward a bit so the men on the other side of you can see her, “Lee Bomi. I’m a volunteer as well.”

An awkward silence falls over the car, no one really knowing where to go from there. You exchange a glance with Hoseok and turn to the folder you haven’t even touched in front of you. When you signed up for this mission, you forgot that you’d have to revisit teachings that stopped years ago, “So...do we just jump into it?”

Lina is quick to dive in, “Reading over these files, it looks like our main priority should be to take in as much information about Death as possible.” She plays with the folder in front of her, a brief, faraway glance taking over her vision. Hoseok places a hand over hers after noticing her brief silence, pulling her back from her slump. She squeezes his hand and smiles, “I know I myself haven’t thought about Death much since we welcomed the New Age.”

“Agreed. I know a lot of information about Death, but not as much as I hear they do in ITA Sanction 5,193.” Namjoon says, adding in his own two cents, “I heard they still teach about Death in their classrooms.”

“Not every full sanction was as convinced as ours that Death just disappeared.” Yoongi moves closer to the table, choosing to sit on the edge over leaning against the wall, “I’ve been to plenty of sanctions across Pangea and there are plenty that talk about Death more than you would think.”

“You’ve left the KOR Sanctions?! What are you? A government employee?!” Taehyung asks, a new light to his face. Leaving full sanctions is a big deal, mainly only for vacations, work trips, or volunteer work with missionaries. It would seem even “weapons experts” are excluded from that list.

Yoongi gives Taehyung a once over before shrugging, “Sure.”

Jeongguk leans on the table, the cheeky grin you’d seen earlier now resembling that of a child who got a new toy, “Well, I’m no government official or anything, but I’ve been out once or twice myself to visit the other Old Asia Sanctions. A few have a whole festival that celebrates Death!”

“I don’t see what good comes from celebrating a monster...” Bomi says. You can’t really blame her for feeling that way. If you lost your husband like she had, then you’d probably feel the same way.

“Well, maybe we can learn something from them that will be useful.” Lina reaches out and takes Bomi’s hands in her own, giving them a reassuring squeeze. She turns to everyone else at the table and offers a bright smile, “I’m excited to work with all of you!”

“Likewise.” Seokjin nods.

Working with everyone slowly became easier than you thought it would. Everyone at the table had something to offer to the cause, whether it be survival skills with Yoongi and Jin - as he’d prefer to be called - or to communication skills with Lina and Namjoon. Somehow, everyone just seemed to fit into the mold. Even Jeongguk fit in with the weird personality you’d picked up from him, but you could only blame that on Taehyung and Hobi. Even so, it was clear as day why they all were there.

Jeongguk may be overly confident, but that’s what makes him fearless. At least, that’s what you’d picked up from the various stories he’s already told you in the span of 3 hours. Not only that, but every time someone even mentions Death, a light shines in his eyes like a puppy being offered a bone. Having a trained fighter on your side with no fear of jumping in and taking charge is a big plus for your team.

Then there’s Jin and Namjoon. Namjoon is a wonderful asset to the team, bouncing theories and ideas back and forth with Lina so easily. Hoseok would probably be jealous if it weren’t for the fact that Jin has Namjoon wrapped around his finger. In the short time that you’ve all been talking, it’s easy to see that Namjoon finds comfort in his partner. Every time he’d mention a new idea or theory he’d been working on, he’d squeeze Jin’s hands on top of the table. Jin in return would run his thumbs over Namjoon’s knuckles, and you’d see the tension just leave his body. They remind you of Hoseok and Lina.

You almost let Taehyung slide at first. Being a weapons expert seemed simple enough, but his attitude will shift every now and then. For the most part, he’s all smiles and jokes, but he’ll slip into a more serious facade when the conversation shifts to the actual hunt for Death. He and Yoongi seem to be much more alike than you thought they’d be. Especially, since the only time Yoongi talked at all was to go over the plan or demean someone. Not necessarily out of hatred, but more so annoyance than anything. Either way, you’d have plenty of time to figure him out. Or at the very least, get used to him.

You certainly weren’t going to do that over dinner.

It wasn’t like the car you were eating in wasn’t a nice place to start a conversation, but it was surprisingly very packed, to say the least. Talking to anyone about what you were really doing there wasn’t an option, and there was no room to talk about some of their real jobs lest anyone overhear that information. Instead, your dinner was filled with the clatter of plates and utensils, and minor chit chat from everyday life.

Of course, Hoseok was more than happy to rave about everyone of his 127 children, Lina jumping in every now and then to correct him when he’d mess up a detail. But they had Namjoon, Jin, and Taehyung to add in with their own children as well. Namjoon was more than happy to tell the table about his girls, pulling out his wallet to show off the photos he kept there. Of course, Taehyung countered with his own personal photo album dedicated solely to his children - including his pomeranian. At one point, after you’d all moved back to the comfort of the caboose, Bomi even got in on the child praising! But it was easy to tell that it was more of a distraction for her than anything. Even so, it makes you happy knowing she’s still taking care of herself after everything that happened.

Soon enough, everyone but you had retired for the night. For some reason, you just couldn’t convince yourself to sleep. It was like a part of you just wasn’t ready to sleep after the fiasco you’ve been through in the past two and half weeks.

Instead, you opt to change cars, choosing to get a drink or two to coax yourself to relax before the real work begins. At this point in the night, it shouldn’t be a problem to get a quick drink without being bothered by anyone. Hopefully, they’d all be asleep on their arms or returning to their own cabins. However, you’re surprised to see the same red head from earlier perched on a stool. To your knowledge, alcohol was all he’d been drinking since you got on the train. You weren’t one to judge, it’s not like he could really do any major damage.

But still...

You take the seat next to him, setting your card on the counter in front of you. When you don’t see the bartender, you decide that now would be as good a time as any to try and make conversation. “Can’t sleep?”

He takes a sip from his glass, “Sleeping is something I do at my own convenience.”

“Wouldn’t now be convenient?” You ask. When you’re met with a blank stare, you turn to face the wall of liquor in front of you, “Sorry. I’ll be quiet.”

After a couple minutes of awkward silence the bartender comes back from another car and makes his way over to you, “Sorry about the wait. What can I get you?”

“As much as I need a drink, could I bother you for a Coke?” You ask,

“Sure thing.” He turns to grab your drink and you rest yourself on the counter to help yourself relax from such a long day. You’d taken in so much information in such a short span of time. History you’d forgotten existed being shoved down your throat almost as violently as the sudden realization that Death had returned.

Of course, unlike most of the other members in your group, you didn’t have much to worry about. You had your parents to worry about, as well as your god children and their children. But you didn’t have anyone immediate of your own. It was just you. You don’t mind though. You haven’t cared for 1,000 years, so why start now?

Then again, it would be nice to have someone there to comfort you in times like these. Times when you rely on some carbonated liquid to lift you up.

You thank the bartender as he hands you a glass of coke, deciding to leave it resting on the counter before you take a sip. Instead, you let your hands sit on either side of the glass, letting your mind wander in thought as you stare into the dark pool of bubbly liquid.

Do you regret not putting yourself out there to find someone? Sometimes. It wasn’t as if you really needed anyone by your side to make you happy, but it wasn’t as if you never tried. You’d had more than several relationships in your many years of life, and you’d had strong feelings for the other party on many occasions! But living in a world where no one dies, where you can do anything with seemingly no dire consequences...

It’s a world where no one wants or needs to settle down.

A love like Lina and Hobi’s or Namjoon and Jin’s is a love so rare it’s almost unheard of. Even if Jin did mention it took them a few hundred years to find each other, you can’t help but envy them and their happiness together.

Yoongi suddenly stiffens and turns towards you, his right hand covering one of your own, “Do not make any sudden movements.” You freeze. You knew Yoongi was shady, but you didn’t think he was this shady! He’s got you blocked from view of the rest of the car, making sure the only thing you can see is his face and the bartender. Not only that, but his stare is intense and completely focused. If it weren’t for the serious look on his face, you probably would’ve screamed for help.

“I’m going to stand up and you’re going to smile and wish me goodnight. Tell me you’ll see me in a bit and keep doing what you were doing. Do not leave until I come back. Do you understand?” He asks. You nod, trying to turn your surprised expression into a smile. Yoongi wastes no time for you to act the part correctly and stands up, “I’m going to bed.”

“I’m going to stay here a bit longer, but I’ll join you soon.” You say, trying to keep a steady voice. Your left hand is balled in a fist, your own thumb rubbing at your hand to keep yourself calm. You have no idea what changed Yoongi’s mood to suddenly wanting you to pretend you’re buddy-buddy, but you weren’t going to question it. “Sleep well!”

Yoongi leans in close next to your ear, his hand coming to rest on the arm making a fist, “Don’t tell anyone why you’re on this train or who you are. Tell them you don’t want to talk and it’s not any of their business to know. Now, laugh and pretend I told you something funny.”

“I get it! Don’t be vulgar.” You say, faking a laugh and playing along as he asked. To say you were terrified of him leaving you now would be an understatement. You place your free hand on top of the one on your forearm and squeeze, keeping a smile as you face him, “I’ll be there soon. Promise.”

Yoongi nods and walks away. To anyone around you, it looks like a regular interaction, but you know it was an understanding of what you were trying to convey to him. He tells you to do what he says, gives you vague instructions for a hypothetical situation, and then leaves you alone like you couldn’t go with him in the first place? You were going to need a better explanation than that to remain calm, and he better come back soon and explain to you what mood he just went through.

Toughing it up, you return to your drink, choosing to keep your head downcast instead of where people can see it. There were still plenty of people in the room, so anyone one of them could have set him off. The only question is why?

“Mind if I have a seat here?” You turn your head to see a tall man with short black hair swept back out of his face, revealing a scar from his chin to his left temple that cuts through his haughty grin. His green eyes would have held you captivated if not for the clear warning Yoongi had given you about talking to anyone.

“There’s an empty seat over there.” You point to the seat two chairs away, trying your best to be as standoffish as possible. You turn back to your glass of soda and pick it up, trying to keep a steady grip over a hard one. This guy didn’t look sketchy, but if Yoongi wasn’t assigned to your group, then you’d never suspect him either.

The man ignores you, deciding to sit right next to you anyways, “You don’t have to be shy.”

You take a deep breath, refusing to spare another glance at the man, “I’d like to enjoy my drink in peace and quiet, thank you.”

He rests his arm on the counter, moving his face to get closer to yours, “My name’s Im Hajun. You?”

“I’m not looking to make friends.” You say, turning your body away from him.

“C’mon~ Just tell me your name.” He whines.

Persistence will only take a person so far, and this guy was not going to get anywhere if he kept acting like this. Even if Yoongi hadn’t told you not to talk to anyone, you’d still be a little standoffish to this type of advance. Still, you force a polite smile, “Why don’t I buy you a drink and you forget about getting to know me?”

“Playful...I like it.” His cocky smile sends a shiver down your spine. Men like him were what made you curious for a few hundred years. To have your boundaries brushed away like a bug in his shoulder was not what you came to get a drink for. You didn’t sit down for his enjoyment. “Where are you headed?”

“Away.” You respond shortly.

“Really?” He asks.

“Yes.” You nod, taking a sip of your drink to distract yourself.

“Are you here alone?” He asks, leaning in closer to you.

You pull away from him, as far as you can without falling back, “That’s none of your business.”

“You gotta tell me something!”

“I don’t owe you anything. I don’t know you.” You remind him.

“Just tell me why you’re going to the ITA Sanctions!” His outburst makes you pause. This train makes several stops along the way, so how does he know you’re getting off in the ITA Sanction?

“Baby.” You turn away from the man in front of you to face Yoongi who’s changed from the nice clothes he was wearing earlier. Sporting jeans, a grey tee, and a leather jacket, he stands just a few feet away from you.

You glance over his new appearance, “I thought you were going to bed.”

“I want to talk to you...about what I said earlier.” His hands are inside of his jacket pockets, the one on the right hanging out just a bit more than the one in his left, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Let’s go back to the room and talk.” You leave the glass in your hand on the counter and move yourself to hop down. As you turn, you look to Hajun, “Sorry to cut- uh...this short.”

He nods, “Nice talking to you.”

You hop down from your stool and join Yoongi, his left arm leaving his pocket to wrap over your shoulder and pull you closer to him to his into your ear, “I told you not to talk to him.”

“I didn’t tell him anything!” You whisper back. You enter into the next car holding your cabins and see light at the end of the hall in the caboose, “Why is everyone in the other car?”

Yoongi ignores your question, leading you to your cabin three doors from the end of the car, “Get your stuff. Pack light.”

The door closest to the last car opens and Taehyung steps out, carrying a medium sized handgun in his right hand and a bag on his back, “Why is Taehyung walking around with a gun?!”

“No time to ask questions! Now, move!” Yoongi pushes you into your car by the small of your back, causing you to stumble for a moment. You want answers, but you’ll have to do what he asks first. You grab the backpack that held your laptop and pull it onto your bed, deciding to fill it with a change of clothes, your medical bag, and a few toiletries. You had a feeling you weren’t staying on this train.

“Done?” Yoongi asks as you pull your bag onto your back. You nod and he takes your arm, “Let’s go!”

He exits the room first, pulling you along behind him into the narrow corridor. As soon as you're both out in the open, the car door at the opposite end of the car slides open. You turn to look, and catch a small glimpse of another gun before you're pushed back into your cabin. You fall to the floor with Yoongi’s body covering your own, shots ringing out from both sides of the train car. Your face is tucked into his chest with his forearms resting at the top of your head to shield you from any stray bullets.

“Are you okay?” He asks, unmoving from your current position.

“Classify ‘okay’!” You yell back, voice muffled by the closeness of his body.

“Ah, good, you’re fine.”

‘Fine? Did he really just say that to you?!’ You wonder. You were slowly starting to figure out why Yoongi’s job was so secretive, and a part of you wished you’d never been so curious.

“As soon as I land a hit on this guy, you need to run!” You hear Taehyung call out as the bullets continue to ricochet off the walls of the outside corridor.

Yoongi removes himself from you and crawls to the door, keeping himself low and close to the ground, “C’mon, we need to be ready.”

“Are you crazy?!” You ask. Did he really expect you to just run in the middle of gun fire? “No way!”

He glares at you, “You can run when we get an opening or you can stay here and die. I couldn’t care either way, I’m just trying to be nice and do my job.” You didn’t like how blunt he was. Nor did you like how willing he was to let you die. He’s a teammate, but he’s willing to leave you behind? You’d have to really listen to him if you don’t want to end up dead.

Two last shots ring out before you hear a thud followed by silence, “C’mon! I’ll hold it!” Taehyung calls out. Yoongi takes your arm to pull you out again when another shot rings from the end of the hall, stopping the both of you before you can make it out the doorway.

“God damnit!” Yoongi yells. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handgun of his own, reaching his arm around the doorway and just peeking over to see the other gunman, “Piece of shit!”

“Why are they shooting at us?!” You ask, clinging onto Yoongi’s jacket.

“Do I look like I fucking know?!” He asks, pausing his shooting to glare at you before returning to the matter at hand. He and Taehyung fire a few more rounds until the gunfire from the opposite end stops.

“They’re pulling back!” Taehyung yells.

Yoongi doesn’t waste a second to grab you again, “This is our chance!” You both run from your cabin to the car door where Taehyung awaits with his gun. The area surrounding the door frame is covered in bullet holes; however, Taehyung himself doesn’t seem to have a scratch on him.

“(Y/n)!” Bomi yells from behind a chair as you enter the room.

“I’m fine,” You assure her. At least on the outside you can say you’re okay. In your head, your thoughts race a mile a minute trying to comprehend what just happened. How did that guy know where you were going? Why do Yoongi and Taehyung have guns on them? You didn’t mind so much given the fact that they saved your life, but they shouldn’t have had to do that.

Yoongi removes himself from your grip - one you didn’t realize you even had on him, “Let’s get the car uncoupled before they come back with more ammunition, there’s no telling how long they-”

Yoongi is cut off by an object flying through the window, a light beeping noise and red glow coming from the small object. You have a good idea of what it is, but Taehyung seems to know exactly what it is as he picks it up and throws it back through the window, “Get down!”

You reach out for a chair in front of you, but your body pushes itself forward before you can grab it. You feel your body fly into someone else's, knocking you both into the hard wood of the table at the end of the car. You feel warm and cold at the same time, a slight breeze rushing over your face. A window had to be open, but you can’t hear the rumble of the train over the buzzing in your ears. Your senses feel muffled and overstimulated, leaving you feeling as if you’re walking on a boat in the middle of a storm with nothing holding you down to the boat deck.

You feel yourself slide back into something solid and cold, a dead weight landing on your chest. The sensation of your falling backwards with your stomach dropping to its lowest point pulls you down headfirst with the weight on your chest rolling off your body to cushion your next fall.

You’re falling.

Falling with someone.

You’re playing a game of tag as you go back and forth cushioning the fall for one another until it stops and you’re left laying on top. It’s dark and your ears hurt, most likely from the explosion that pushed you into whoever you’ve landed on. If you were like this, then the others were probably just as bad. You have to get to them and make sure they’re okay.

You have to help them...

“..hey…”

The darkness that covers your vision is familiar, almost like a haze of fog on an early Sunday morning after a fresh rainfall. Something you hadn’t even thought about in a very long time.

“..(Y/n)...wake up..”

The voice is familiar. You’ve heard it before, but where?

“..has a pulse…..grab snow...put it down her shirt...” Another voice adds in.

Yoongi.

The train.

The explosion.

Your group.

You force your eyes open, meeting the harsh shine of a flashlight. Behind it, you see the outline of Namjoon as he sits off to your right in the dim moonlight. You can’t see much of him - even with the glow of more flashlights behind him- but he looks to be in good enough shape. Even if he has an injury, he still manages a relieved smile in the limited lighting you can see him with, “There you are. I thought you’d never wake up.”

“Is everyone okay?” You ask, voice hoarse and groggy. You took quite the beating before you passed out, you can only guess what kind of injuries you must have with the headache resting at the top of your neck. Surely, others had it worse than you did. You push yourself to sit up with help from Namjoon. You look around, seeing outlines of others, but not seeing who is who, “Lina! Bomi! Hoseok!”

“We’re okay!” Hoseok calls out from another side of the car. Namjoon shines his light to him to give you a better look, placing Hoseok in the middle of the train using a slightly broken chair to lean his back against. The light shows off a bruise forming on his jaw, just slightly glistening in the light. He turns his head away from the shine, wincing as it hits his eyes. He seemed to be coherent enough, but he most likely has a concussion at best. His right hand rests on a pair of legs behind him, most likely Lina’s, “We’re just...getting used to our new surroundings.”

“I’m okay..” Bomi groans, peeking her head around the chair Hoseok leans against. She looked to have a few scrapes of her own. As soon as you’re able to pull yourself together, you’ll have to walk around and assess everyone’s injuries to make sure they’re okay. You have no clue how far the train fell, nor do you have any idea how long you’ve been out. If anyone’s injuries were fatal, you could be too late at this point.

“We should do that again!” You hear Jeongguk say from across the train.

“Are you serious?” Namjoon asks, pointing the flashlight in his direction over Hoseok’s. He - just like the others - had injuries of his own. His face looked to be fine, and he didn’t seem to have any bruising on the appendages visible to you. You’d have to really look him over when you find the will to stand.

However, Jeongguk didn’t seem to have any remorse for the statement he made. He looked more excited than anything, “Hell yeah!”

You feel someone stand, seeing Jin move with a slight limp into the light where Jeongguk is, “Someone give me a gun. I just wanna shoot him.”

“Nobody is shooting anyone!” Lina yells.

Figuring now was the best time, you add in your own thoughts, “I want to know why they were shooting at us!”

“Yoongi, you didn’t tell her?” Taehyung asks, his body partially being uncovered by the flashlight still focused on the man-child wanting to roll down the hill again. He was standing, but he looked to be leaning against something as well. Most likely another person based on how he teeters in and out of the light.

“Sorry, should I have told her in between the gunshots or while we were taking cover from the explosion?!” Yoongi scoffs, his voice coming from the shadow holding Taehyung. The both of them were closest to the explosion with you, but they both probably had fast enough reflexes to grab something unlike you.

Did you know that guy?” You force yourself to stand, ignoring the pain in your back and chest as you stretch out.

“That’s not important right now.” Yoongi pushes from the darkness into the light so everyone can see him. He still has his bag on him, but it looks to be torn in a few spots, “We need to gather our stuff, make sure everyone can move, and get the hell out of here before they come to make sure we’re dead.”

“Dead?” Bomi asks.

Taehyung looks over to her, squinting to see her in the darkness, “Why else would they be shooting at us?”

“Facism?!” You answer.

Yoongi glares in your direction and adjusts the bag on his back, “Let’s not waste anymore time and get moving.”

Not wanting to anger the man who saved your life, you follow his lead. You - as well as Bomi - take some time to look over everyone before you all move out, cleaning up any scrapes or cuts and securing any hurting limbs. Debris from the wreck was collected and placed into bags, stored away for later if needed. Some of it came in handy for creating a makeshift brace for Jin - lucky for him. Any head injuries couldn’t be helped, but at least no one had any broken bones. For now, it would be enough to start.

Under the cover of night, Yoongi leads your group back up the hill with Taehyung taking the back. Over the broken trees and melted snow - stopping occasionally so everyone stays with the group - you all make your way back up the hill and cross the train tracks where you first went over the side. The debris from your cabins lay scattered across the winter snow and metal tracks, the beverage car you’d been in earlier that night sits just around the edge of the turn.

“They probably uncoupled the car before setting off the explosion,” Taehyung explains, watching Jeongguk and Hoseok follow Yoongi to collect anything they could salvage for the rest of your trip. He turns to you, a gun you didn’t know he had casually hanging at his side. He smirks in the low glow of the moonlight, “They probably weren’t expecting me to throw it back.”

You take a moment to think before answering him. You’d been through a lot in one night, and the events from the past 2 weeks were still weighing on you. However, at this moment in time, you felt more numb than anything. You sigh, “I don’t think anyone would expect you to grab a live explosive with your bare hands and throw it.”

Trekking through cold winter snow was not a part of the plan. It was never on the agenda, and no one had packed for this weather. It wasn’t necessarily harsh or overbearing, but the climate was still killing your stamina. It didn’t help that most of you were starting to feel the effects of your injuries after hours of walking. It would seem you weren’t the only one feeling the same way.

Bomi stops walking, causing those behind her to stop as well, “We shouldn’t put so much stress on our bodies after an accident like that. We should rest for a bit.”

Yoongi continues walking without sparing a glance behind him, “Well, unless you want to die from a bullet wound, we’ll keep going.”

“Do we really know that they’re going to come back for us?” Hoseok asks, watching Yoongi’s back as he continues to walk ahead of you.

“My body isn’t really bulletproof, so I don’t want to take any chances.” Seokjin says. He was probably hurt the most besides you and Namjoon. If anyone needed to take a break it was Seokjin, but you can’t really blame him for not wanting to take a chance.

On the other hand, you knew better than anyone what hidden injuries could do if not treated properly or as soon as possible, “We won’t know the extent of everyone’s injuries if we don’t take a break and rest soon.”

Yoongi stops walking to turn and look at everyone, “We’ll rest as soon as we get far enough away from the train cars.”

“Shouldn’t we have followed the tracks? Or maybe a stream or something?” Namjoon asks.

Jeongguk scoffs, “Dude, following the tracks is the sure fire way to get us caught if someone is following us.”

“It’s best if we head Northeast away from the tracks. That’ll take us towards the outer CHN Sanctions and we can find a smaller train back to KOR Sanction 34.” Taehyung explains.

“We’ll still have to change to a larger train to get into the city.” Lina says.

Yoongi sighs and turns back around to continue walking, “We’ll deal with that when we get there.”

So, the journey continues with everyone trudging along. Even as the sun begins to rise into the sky and stomachs begin to ache, Yoongi refuses to stop. If you weren’t scared by the notion of someone chasing you down with a gun, you probably would’ve stopped a while ago to ice your bruised midsection. But your survival skills were not as strong as your medical abilities, and if you wanted to make it to a safe, warmer space, then you’d have to continue following behind Yoongi to get to where you need to go. Thankfully, you didn’t have to go much further.

Yoongi stops at the top of the hill you all climb, having taken the lead. He turns to everyone and nods, “We can rest here.”

As you finish climbing the hill covered in a thin coat of snow, you all come to the entrance of a cave covered in shards of ice and frozen snow. The large, frozen crystals hang off the cave’s mouth like jewels on a wealthy woman’s neck. Just below the longest shard, loose powder can be seen dusting the rock floor inside and disappearing into the darkness of the cavern.

“Are you sure?” Hoseok asks.

“We’re up high enough and far enough from a real trail that anyone walking won’t be able to smell clearly anymore.” He explains, “We can make a small camp here, rest until tomorrow morning, and continue on foot to the next town.”

“You’re very knowledgeable in things like this...” Namjoon points out, looking Yoongi up and down, “You knew that guy was a hitman that was supposedly locked up, and you’ve been carrying a gun this whole time.”

There were only so many jobs that would give someone access to that kind of information and resources. After spending the past few hours really getting to see him in action, there was no doubt what Yoongi’s job really was.

Hoseok meets Yoongi’s eyes, “You’re a hit man too.”

He only shrugs in return, “I’d like to think of myself as a lethal bounty hunter.”

“Your whole personality is really starting to come together.” Bomi mumbles.

You all enter the cave, ducking under the large crystals and stepping into a narrow cavern. Yoongi turns on his flashlight, showing off a tunnel leading to another opening, “We should head further into the cave so we don’t attract any large animals.”

You all follow Yoongi further into the cavern, two more flashlights roaring to life from Namjoon and Jeongguk. When you reach the next opening, you’re shocked to see the much larger cavern that opens for you, illuminated in a soft blue from spare light that hits the ice lining the cave’s walls. At the far end of the shaft, are two more dark tunnels leading further into the cave.

“I think we’ll be safe in here.”

Namjoon removes his bag and hands it over to Jin, “We should see about finding dry wood for a fire or collecting snow for drinking water.”

“I’ll come help.” Taehyung says. He pulls off his own bag and turns to you, “Can you take this for me?”

“Sure.” You take his bag, struggling at first to keep it from falling from it’s unexpected weight. You had an idea as to what Taehyung had stored in his bag, and it wasn’t spare clothes or toiletries. It makes you wonder why he hasn’t asked for a break sooner, though there is another part of you that probably doesn’t want to know or imagine why in the first place.

It didn’t take long for them to come back with a pile of sticks and snow for the group. After they returned it was a lot easier for everyone to settle down after a long morning of walking. Taehyung made sure to bring as much snow as he could carry for you and Bomi to tend to the small injuries from the crash, and Yoongi helped Namjoon get a fire started as soon as he set the wood he found on the cavern floor. They were taking this situation in fairly well considering the circumstances, and that alone scared you. Granted, Seokjin was also calm and Lina and Hobi were huddled together talking among themselves, but all three were very level-headed and knew this wasn’t the time to start freaking out.

Next to you, Bomi sits with her back flat against the floor staring off into the space above her. You can’t help but wonder what’s going through her mind at a time like this after losing so much already.

“Hey, you okay?” You ask, placing a gentle hand on her arm.

Her body jerks at the contact, dark brown eyes looking to your hand and then to you, “Huh-?” She tilts her head in confusion and then a look of understanding comes to her face. She gives you a smile, “Oh! Yeah, I’m fine!” She turns back to the ceiling of the cave and you watch as her smile becomes forced, “I just need some rest is all.”

It doesn’t take a lot to tell that she’s not okay, but you know better than to pry at a moment like this. Instead, you muster your own sincere smile, “Okay, just let me know if you need anything. We have a lot of walking to do.”

Maybe if she hadn’t lost her husband, if you hadn’t been targeted, if you hadn’t been in a train accident, if you hadn’t been walking all day in the cold you would have asked if she was okay. But you didn’t want to bombard her and add another stress on top of her pre-existing ones.

Bomi smiles in your direction again, this time more sincere, “Of course. You get some rest too.” You nod, taking one last look over the room of everyone else who seems to be doing the same before settling yourself on the cave floor with your head on your bag and closing your eyes.

“Hey!” Bomi calls. You open your eyes to see her staring back, “Thanks for looking out for me.”

“Anytime.”

You can’t help but let your mind wander to yesterday. You had been so sure of this trip yesterday morning, so sure that this would be the best decision you’ve made in hundreds of years. But with the events of last night and the high tension of trying to survive in an area where winter was at its peak, it’s hard to truly let your mind rid itself of the fears ahead of you.

"This next one will be easy." A man whispers, his words so clear it feels as though he’s right next to you.

"And if not?" A more delicate voice asks.

"More fun." The first voice growls, his tone making him sound so pleased with himself you can almost see the invisible grin.

They’re both so close, yet you know they’re distant. The anxiety within you pulses as you recognize both owners from that very first night.

You bolt up, having willed yourself awake in hopes that what you’ve heard is a nightmare. However, as you look around the fire it’s easy to see that the other’s have heard their whispers as well.

A dark chuckle resonates in your ears, "Its heart beats fast now!"

"It knows..." The more feminine of the two voices taunts, "Your time has come."

Everyone looks to each other, none of them coming to the realization of what’s happening around them. It’s hard to tell if the voices are far or close now that they echo off the cave walls. However, chills run down your spine as the gruff voice of the male resonates off the walls again, much closer than anyone had realized, "Ready or not!"

“Go.” Yoongi demands, jumping from his spot on the floor, “Everybody, go now!”

Chaos ensues as everyone grabs their things, shoving whatever they may have taken out back into their bags. The dim embers of your fire are easily forgotten as Jeongguk and Namjoon lead the way to venture further into the cave away from the taunting voices that follow you. Yoongi takes up the rear to cover the path behind you.

"We have your name." The ghostly woman calls, a hint of pleasure laced in her voice as you all move through the unknown caverns. There’s another area, another open source of light if you can just move faster.

"And your scent!" The man yells.

Their voices never seem to waver, never falter. It’s impossible for them to be right behind you, but you can’t help but feel as if they’re right on your heels. The light is so close, but there’s something keeping you back. Something that only has you moving slower.

Someone that can’t move any faster.

You stop for just a moment to turn around, seeing Bomi stumble over herself as Yoongi tries to hold her up, “Bomi! Let’s go!”

She stops when she reaches you, her hands forming a loose grip on your arms, “(Y/n)...I can’t…”

“We have to move!” You remind her. You can hear how weak she is, you can feel it in her grip as she tries to hold onto you. Even so, now is not the time for her to stop moving.

Yoongi takes Bomi by the arm and firmly pushes your shoulder, “Stop standing around and get moving!”

“She’s hurt, we have to help her.” You argue, trying your best to keep your friend up on her feet.

Yoongi groans in frustration, “Open your eyes! They’re here for her!”

“Shouldn’t we try and stop them?!” You ask. You know he’s right. Every part of you knows he’s right but it doesn’t change the part of you that knows you can’t leave her.

“We don’t know how to kill them!” He tries to remove Bomi’s hand from your arm, but you grab her wrist to keep her close, “Shoot them!”

“I’m working with the dumbest people alive.” He mutters under his breath.

Within a moment, you’re taken by surprise. Bomi’s hands are ripped off of you as another hand takes the back of your shirt and pushes you forward again, rougher than the first time Yoongi had done so. You try to fight against him, but the lean man is much stronger than he looks.

“Hey! NO!” You yell, pushing back against him to go back. His grip only tightens on your clothing as his pace picks up. You have no choice but to match his pace even as you try to wiggle free, “Let me go! We have to help her! BOMI!”

“You’ll die too if you don’t move your feet!” Yoongi warns.

Tears stream down your face as you move forward, hearing the dark voice of the man again, “The scent’s grown stronger Lamb, but this one’s become yours.”

“Oh, how sweet it is to end the suffering life brings.” His partner responds, sounding almost satisfied with what they were implying.

Yoongi doesn’t let you go until you’ve hit the next part of the cavern that’s gifted with light, pushing you in front of him towards the rest of the group.

“There. You can thank me later.” He says, voice void of any emotion.

“I can thank you later?!” You ask in utter disbelief. You could understand his strange behavior on the train to save everyone, his reasoning for wanting to keep moving in the mountain was justified, but leaving Bomi behind didn’t have to be an option! “You let them kill her!”

He shrugs his shoulders, “She was dying anyways!”

“We could’ve saved her!” You argue. He saved your life at the cost of Bomi’s! If he had picked her up instead of you then you could’ve saved her! He let her go!

“Oh, really?! Enlighten me! How could we have saved her?” He asks, eyes turned into slits as he glares at you. It wasn’t hard to tell he didn’t take you seriously, that Death held nothing against him like it did you. He didn’t care. “Stop acting like a fucking child and open your eyes to what’s going on around you! I’ve saved your life twice and I won’t be doing it again!”

Your rage and grief morph into one, clouding your judgement in your current situation. You can’t help but run at him, resolving to take your guilt out on him even if deep down you know he was in the right to pull you away. You don’t care if you look like a total lunatic as you scream and throw your hands at him, fists clenched and ready to make contact with the stubborn man who claims to hunt others. Even when he grabs your wrists to hold you away and fight against your kicks powered by your own sadness, you don’t stop your outburst until someone grabs your waist from behind.

“(Y/n)! Stop it!” Hoseok scolds, pulling your smaller frame away from Yoongi who doesn’t even look like he broke a sweat during the ordeal. He just casts his eyes away from yours and walks away as you continue to thrash in the arms of your friend. “(Y/n), this won’t bring her back! You need to knock it off and get it together!”

Your thrashing ceases as it all comes crashing down around you. You’d learned about the 5 stages of grief when it came to relationships, but never before did you think they could wash over you as fast as they did. Perhaps part of it was from Hansol’s death hitting you as well, but the fact that you were right there with Bomi and you let her go seemed to be what hurt you the most.

“I asked her to be here,” You fall lax in Hoseok’s arms and let it all flow out of you, “This is my fault…”

“This isn’t your fault…” You feel the man sigh from behind you and pull you closer, his chin resting on your shoulder, “Bomi volunteered with you because she wanted to. If she didn’t want to come, then she wouldn’t have signed up. She knew this could be dangerous.”

“We didn’t even make it to our first stop, Hobi!” You cry, hands flying to cover your face as more tears fall from your eyes.

Another hand places itself on your shoulder, Lina making herself known by gently stroking a small area with her thumb, “I know this isn’t easy, but we have to focus on doing what we can for everyone.”

You know she’s right. You know that in this situation you have no choice but to move on as if nothing happened, even if that choice makes you sick to your stomach. It feels so wrong to just walk away, to from the path you had come from and left her behind. But if you don’t turn away, then what more will you be risking? What will you risk when you finally face everyone else?

Against your own emotions, you turn around. You see the somber expressions of both Hoseok and Lina in the dim lighting the hole in the cave’s ceiling provides you, the small trails still damp on Lina’s cheeks glistening like the tears that refuse to fall from her husband’s. Bomi wasn’t just your friend. She was their friend too. And though you felt all the guilt in the world for dragging her along and allowing Yoongi to pull you away, they felt the same guilt that you did for not being able to help her.

Hoseok - the radiant ball of sunshine that he is - pulls the both of you into a firm hug, “We’ll honor her as soon as we get home and solve everything. She’s gone, but we won’t forget her.”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this cave doesn’t have another opening.” Jeongguk says. The three of you pull away from each other to look at him, noticing the distress written across his face.

The new area surrounding you is mainly lit where you stand and the area surrounding a small pool of water in the center of the room. Two flashlights still glow behind Jeongguk on the other side of the pool, probably continuing the search for any other way out. Part of you is tempted to find out if the pool goes anywhere, but you know you’ll probably die of hypothermia before you can find out.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me…” Seokjin - who stands closest to the pool of water - sighs, “Where are we supposed to go? What if they don’t go away?!”

“Well, we can’t stay here to find out. We’re sitting ducks!” Hoseok reminds everyone.

“Do you feel it, Lamb?” The man’s voice asks, sending shivers down your spine.

“Do I feel the fear?” His partner asks in return. It’s strange how in so little time you’ve become used to their mannerisms. It’s so easy to tell how pleased they are to be taunting you. “I do. Doesn’t it just make your entire being flutter?”

“They’re afraid.” His voice growls in return.

Lina grabs both your and Hoseok’s hands and tugs them towards the other side of the pool where the other’s have unconsciously began to congregate, “We can’t stay here!”

“Where are we supposed to go?” Taehyung asks, the weapon he once held loosely at his side now held firm in front of him.

The soft voice of the woman draws near, “Every elongated step I take fills me with their anticipation for what’s to come.”

“They’re not suffering enough, Lamb.” Her friend complains.

“But Wolf, this suffering is my kind of fun.” Her reply only confirms your suspicion of their enjoyment in your pain. Her deranged excitement reminds you of a child.

“Lina…” Hoseok pulls his wife closer to him, tucking her into his side as if that would shield her from whatever stalks closer to you.

She - in response - is more determined to move, “We can’t back down now, Hobi. Can they really catch all of us?” She asks, confident on the balls of her feet, yet still so unsure of any plan to escape.

“Aren’t they spirits or something?” Taehyung asks.

Yoongi nods, his own weapon having made an appearance in his hands, “That’s probably something they can do.”

Jeongguk interlocks his fingers together and pushes them in front of himself to crack them, pulling them back into fists. With a quick nod of his head from side to side, he grins, “Well, I’m sure I can still show them the old razzle-dazzle.”

“Why don’t you ask them?” Jin asks.

The hair on the back of your neck stands tall, goosebumps popping to the top of your skin. In the short amount of time you spent planning and debating your escape, the beings hot on your trail had made their entrance. Stood in the entryway to the cavern, still tucked away in the shadows you see them.

They found you.

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chonkychornes · 4 years

Text

I’ll Be Home for Christmas

AN: Hi all! Here’s my idea for a Holiday ON shot featuring a sweet Bucky and what I hope is a gender-neutral reader. My first attempt at total fluff. I hope I hit the mark. If you like it, please like and reblog. Thank you to @quant-um-fizzx for all her help and support this year, and Pandora, who stays away from Tumblr, but still reads my shit and helps me with all the things!! (All mistakes are my own) Happy Holidays, dear ones! I hope you’re all finding peace on this day.

Summary: Bucky and Reader meet up on the way home for Christmas. Will they both get their Christmas wish?

Words: 6591

“Attention passengers of American Airlines Flight 2135: Baggage is now arriving on carousel four.”

“Okay, where the hell is my bag?” You mutter to yourself as you reposition your purse across your chest and duck around a family with a double-wide stroller. Spotting the carousel you need, you move to it determinedly, but frown when you see a flight number over yours and no bags circling the platform.

Grabbing your phone out of your bag, you see a missed call and a couple of new text messages.

I'm stuck in training. - Steve

I’m sorry. I can send a car for you. - Steve

You pull up his contact number and laugh as he apologizes as he answers, “Steve, I’ll be fine. I’ll call an Uber or just get a cab. It's no big deal.”

“I feel so bad, I promised to meet you.”

“Shit happens. I’m still waiting on my bag anyway, so I’ll be fine. I’ll see you later.”

As you drop your phone back into your bag you hear the annoying buzzer for the carousel and feel the push of the crowd as everyone moves forward to try to find their bag.

You deliberately take a step back and move away from the crowd. You have time and you’d rather wait and not be crushed or hit some small kid with your suitcase because they’re standing too close to the conveyor belt.

You see someone else on the other side seems to have the same idea as you lean against a pillar out of the way. It’s not until this person is almost directly in front of you that you realize who it is.

“Of all the gin joints in all the world, huh?’ He grins down at you and you can’t help but laugh as you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck and squeeze him quickly.

“What the hell are you doing here, Bucky?” You pull back and take in the penetrating blue of his eyes, the crinkle around them, and the soft smile on his lips.

“It’s Christmas! Steve would have had my ass if I wasn’t back in time,” he brushes a hand through his hair and you notice how short it is now.

No more manly buns for this one.

“Where have you been?” You nod vaguely out into the terminal and he smiles as he leans on the pillar next to you.

“Ireland; Kerry,” he ducks his head a little and you know why. Ireland had always been your dream destination.

“Was it green and beautiful? Did you catch a leprechaun?” Nudging him playfully in the ribs with his elbow brings back that soft smile.

“I’ll show you the pictures.”

The exchange is easy and natural. He still makes your stomach flip and you still make him laugh.

“That’s me,” he says as he pushes off the pillar and grabs his old beat-up duffle, slings it over his shoulder and resumes his place next to you.

“Now, you’re going to let me guess which one is yours, right?” You laugh and nod.

The wait is even longer, but he’s promised his car with the remote start and heated seats currently sitting in long term parking, so you agree.

“It’s the ugliest one, right? You always picked the worst patterns.”

“They’re easy to spot!” You’re a little defensive because everyone always teased you for this.

But when that neon orange paisley print comes around the conveyor belt, you have to bite your lip from laughing out loud at his incredulous expression.

“Did you find that in the seventies?” he grabs it and nods towards the door as you take your bag from him.

The car is not only warm and running when you get to it, but it’s also almost too hot and you shrug out of your coat.

“Thanks for the ride,” buckling yourself in and settling into the seat, you send him a genuine smile.

“Like I’d let you take a cab,” he says as he pulls up to pay for parking and soon you’re on the turnpike and headed to the compound.

You’re both quiet and as he navigates through the late-night holiday traffic, you get caught up in the lights of the city.

“You awake over there?”

“Huh? I was looking at the city lights,” you shift to look at him. “I’m sorry, did you say something.”

His hand twitches on the shifter and it doesn’t go unnoticed by either of you.

“I was wondering if you were hungry. Everyone, except maybe Steve will be asleep by the time we get there and I frankly do not like it when Nat wakes up angry,” the car glides over closer to an exit. “Do you wanna stop somewhere and eat?”

“Sure, wherever.”

He pulls off into a small metro area and spots a Denny’s about two miles from the highway. Once you’re inside and seated in the back, you realize you might be the last customers in the restaurant.

After the waitress unenthusiastically takes your order and leaves you alone in the booth. As you rearrange the jelly holder, Bucky stares at you until you finally look stop fidgeting and look at him.

“So, how’s … everything?” he asks when you sit back and fold your hands into your lap.

The grimace crosses your face before you can stop it. It had been so easy at the airport, casual, but this feels forced and you don’t want this. Nothing had ever been difficult between the two of you before.

“Things are good, of course, they are.” You shrug and offer a smile, “Moving to DC was a good choice for me. I like the work that I do and I’m happy with the results.”

He bristles a little at the mention of your work but doesn’t bat an eye at the mention of your move. The two of you had discussed it, at length, when the opportunity had come up; neither of you wanted the move, but you also couldn’t deny that it was a good choice for you.

When the waitress comes back with your country fried steak and eggs and his bacon cheeseburger and fries you both take a few minutes to situate yourself. Chewing replaces the awkward conversation and you’re grateful for the time being.

“You still enjoying the life of a superhero?” The question is obviously a surprise to Bucky as he chokes down the giant bite he just took.

“That’s the designation, but it doesn’t make it true,” he smirks and pushes his plate towards you. Sighing, you set your silverware aside and swap plates with him.

“Just like old times, right?” You laugh lightly as you pick up the remainder of his burger and take a bite and moan. “Oh, god that’s good.”

“The job s’okay,” he shrugs as he shovels some scrambled eggs onto his fork. “I still get to travel and I don’t have to take anyone with me anymore, so that’s a plus.”

“Everything works out for a reason, then?” Locking eyes with him, you polish off the last of his fries and smile with bulging cheeks.

“I think some of our friends might disagree with you on that, but sure; everything works out for a reason.”

You both fight over the check but in the end, you let him pay. Back in the car you stretch and yawn before reaching for the radio, “Can I?”

“Sure, doll.”

You land on some local station playing holiday music and you hum along until you feel your eyes start to droop.

“I’m glad I ran into you, Buck,” you rub a hand over his forearm and let it linger there. “I wasn’t sure you’d be here, but I brought you a present.” A lazy grin crosses your face when his face lights up.

“Well, you gotta come home for Christmas, right?” He nudges your arm away and reaches over to rub the back of your neck, “Of course, I got you something too.”

Sighing into his touch, you wish every interaction with him could be like this; so easy, so real.

Sometime later, you wake to Bucky gently shaking you, “We’re home, doll. I’ll get your bag.”

After you two are let in by Friday, you both stop at the fork in the hallway that leads to both wings of the private quarters.

"Nat cleaned up my old room," you provide as it seems Bucky was going to invite you to his room.

"Oh, that makes sense." He rolls your bag towards you and throws you a smile. "See ya later, doll."

"Night, Buck."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning starts with Steve waking you after eight, which has to be a record for him, but it was nice to have a cup of coffee and catch up a little with him before facing everyone else.

"How'd you get home, anyway?"

You sit up a little straighter, "I figured you would have spoken to him by now," you shake your head at his curious look. "I ran into Bucky at the airport."

"What is it weird?"

Rolling your eyes you set your cup down and shrug, “Nothing has ever been ‘weird’ between me and Bucky. Intense, hot, heavy, real?” You tick it all off on your fingers as Steve smirks, “We just never worked right.”

He snorts and stares at you incredulously, “You’re kidding, right?” He forward and claps you on the shoulder, “You and Bucky are like Westley and Buttercup.”

He stands up and moves to the door, “Have you thought any more about my offer?”

“Yeah, I still don’t have an answer for you,” you lean back against the couch cushions and smile. “Apparently we’ll be getting some new desk jockeys come January and I would want to make sure the transition goes smoothly.”

“Maria Hill doesn’t retire every day,” his hands are on his hips and give off his fatherly vibe. “You’ll really think about it? You could be back here with us all the time, and you’d get to call the shots.”

“For the most part,” you add with a wink.

“Bingo.” He opens the door, “Let’s go make the horde breakfast.”

After the cast of characters join the two of you for breakfast and take over the clean up, the day is filled with baking cookies with Wanda and Morgan and pulling out the decorations for the tree.

The tree that Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Tony are going to chop down.

“Where are you going to find a pine or fir small enough to fit inside?” You ask as the men don their winter gear and debate whether an ax is necessary. “Why don’t you just drive into town and buy a tree?”

Silence descends on the large common room and four heads swivel in your direction.

“Is it something I said?” you ask with a grin.

“Doll, this is the best way to acquire a tree.” Bucky is as serious about this as he has ever been about anything.

“It’s the dumbest way to go about it, for sure.” He stalks towards you and you stand up straighter.

“Do you think I should stay inside? I could stay here and decorate cookies with you,” he sends a wink to Morgan who has snuck up next to you and is tugging on your hand.

“I don’t know, what do you think, kid?” Hoisting her up onto your hip she taps her lip with her finger and pretends to think.

“Booky, you should stay and use sprinkles with me.” She nods so sagely, you believe she has all the answers to life’s questions.

“Alright guys, you heard the little lady: I’m staying.” He slides the leather coat off and tosses it to Sam who rolls his eyes, but hangs it back up. “Don’t die.”

The three of you walk back into the kitchen as the guys leave and as soon as they’re gone you finally ask, “What happens if they come back empty-handed?”

“They won’t,” Bucky says with a grimace and you don’t want to know what that really means. “But Pepper already bought a tree. It’s over in the warehouse, you know, just in case.”

Sprinkles, frosting, flour, and eggshells cover almost every surface in the kitchen and your back and feet are killing you.

Pepper finally whisked Morgan off for a nap and before you can even think about starting the cleanup, a cup of coffee is being shoved into your hands and you’re being shooed away from the epicenter and told to “take a load off” on a bar stool that sits at the island.

The groan is quiet, but still present as you sit and it serves as another reminder that you weren’t quite cut out for the life of a superhero; the life of an Avenger.

You weren’t enhanced and you hadn’t been trained since childhood, you had just been good, great even. They had seen something in you, taken a chance; gratefully it had led to the job you had now and the good work you were doing in DC.

But you never could keep up with any of them; couldn’t keep up with him.

“You look awful serious over there, doll.” Bucky is closing the dishwasher and setting it. “You alright?”

“Just thinking about … you.” It’s honest, if not a little gratuitous. You think about Bucky a lot for someone that couldn’t figure out how to make it work between the two of you.

“Oh, remembering the good times?” He’s got his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, muscle and metal rippling and gleaming as he wipes down the counters.

“Thinking about how I wasn’t cut out for this,” you vaguely gesture around the room. “I did all I could, after ‘The Snappening’ and after Thanos was defeated and everyone came back, to be an Avenger, but my talents are better served elsewhere. Helping people in different ways.”

“Plus, it pays to have a friend on that side of the line,” he says with a slight grunt.

Bucky never quite got over the fact that you went to work for Everett Ross when everyone came back. Resources were needed; facilities, food, water … you name it, you found it and helped to distribute it.

You were doing good work that you were proud of.

Even if you had to work for an insufferable jerk.

“Not all of us are cut out for this lifestyle,” He pulls you from your thoughts as he leans on the clean counter across from you.

“You thinking of hanging up the suit?” The surprise is evident in your voice and you feel a weird flutter in your gut.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs and grabs your coffee mug and drains the last of it. “Sometimes I think I could handle being a desk jockey.” He refills it and doctors it up just the way you like and passes it back to you.

“You’d hate it.”

“Would I? Quiet days getting work done and feeling satisfied with it,” he’s leaning on the counter again and smiles. “I guess the grass is always greener, right?”

“Sure, but I don’t leave work every day happy. Sometimes I’m so frustrated because I’m not getting the answers I want or I’m not getting them fast enough.” You drink deep from the cup before pushing it back to him.

“I went to DC to talk about a job opening,” he drops the information so casually that it doesn’t register at first.

“Wait, my DC? What job?”

“What, like you own it?” You both laugh as Sam and Steve come stumbling into the room laughing, breathless, and red-cheeked.

“We found a tree,” Sam tells you with a pointed look. “It’s way too big to bring inside, but Tony is bound and determined to decorate it out on the lawn.”

“I’ll track down everyone, I think they’re watching movies.” Shaking your head you stand up and whip off your apron and look over at Bucky, “Text Pepper. I don’t think Santa will leave Morgan’s presents outside.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somehow you got paired up with Tony and Pepper to trim the “indoor” tree as it was referred to. Tony had brought out a bunch of old tools and spare parts and decorated the giant tree outside but got bored when he realized that everyone was inside staying warm.

“So, who is trying to convince you to come back?” Tony asks as he untangles the third string of lights. You shoot him a glance and strategically place another bauble on a branch.

“Everyone. Well, with the exception of Bucky, Pepper, and yourself,” you sigh knowing exactly where this is headed. “I’ve had several lengthy discussions with Maria about this.”

“There’s no one we’d rather work with.” He’s so matter of fact in his statement that you’re taken aback for a moment. It isn’t often that Tony is so genuine, without any hint of sarcasm. “Don’t you miss us?”

Walking around the tree looking for large holes, you snort. “I miss you all. But I call, I email.”

“You missed Morgan’s birthday.”

“Hey, that’s not fair, Tony.” Pepper admonishes from the other side of the tree and even though you can’t see her, you smile in her direction.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you did, in fact, miss it,” Tony repeats and you finally stop in front of him with your arms crossed.

“I wasn’t even settled and if I’m not mistaken, a certain group of superheroes had just inadvertently taken out a clean water reservoir that I need to need to attend to.”

“Fair enough,” Tony hands you one end of the lights and you begin to weave it into the tree. “You do realize that if you came to work here, you could help us avoid that.”

“That’s a cheap shot, even for you.” You stick your tongue out at him and tug at the lights in his hands. “For the record, I am seriously considering it.”

“Mom, she stuck her tongue out at me!” He complains to Pepper who laughs and walks away to change the record from Sinatra to Bing Crosby and White Christmas.

“Play nice you two.’

After a few minutes and another string of lights, you finally ask the question you need to know the answer to.

“Do you know what job Bucky went to DC to look at?” Tony looks up at you with something akin to fascination on his face.

“Has he really not talked to you about it? I just figured that was the reason-” he trails off when the record skips terribly and he jumps up to fix it.

Dinner is easy enough with gallons of soup and grilled cheese sandwiches to feed the literal army assembled. As per tradition at the compound, everyone gets to open one present on Christmas eve, which is always new pajamas; and everyone gets them from a secret Santa, so they’re all hideous in a spectacular way.

There are dancing llamas, hanging sloths, crazy reindeer and snowman. Footless, two-piece sets, onesies, and even some butt flaps. Hot cocoa, egg nog, and nightcaps are passed around as everyone settles down to watch “White Christmas”.

Sometime after Bing and Danny lip sync to “Sisters”, you meander out into the hallway and towards the large front windows to look at the softly falling snow.

Taking a seat on the stairs and drawing your knees up under your chin, you reflect on the past two years. Everyone came back and the greatest physical threat to Earth was defeated. You were able to hug and share your love with people you thought you would never see again.

You left.

The rewarding aspect of your job was almost to self-satisfying. You could say that you were helping to end hunger, lowering poverty levels. The work you helped with brought desperately needed medical treatments, education, and supplies to areas that need it most.

It looked great on a resume and sounded great a corporate mingles.

You liked it because you weren’t a self-serving asshole.

It was white bread and stale to boot.

But there was still a part of you that missed being even somewhat a part of the action; you missed being around and hearing about the stories. You missed being called for an assignment, even if everyone figured out that you weren’t cut out for it.

“Why couldn’t I do both?” The thought only just now manifested itself to you and how you hadn’t thought of it three months ago when Maria Hill called to offer you first dibs at her position with the Avengers, doesn’t even make sense.

“What are you doing out here?” Bucky’s voice is quiet when he pulls you out of your thoughts and plans.

“It was getting to be a little too much in there, I just need some space.” When you look up at him, you grin when you see his onesie designed to look like The Grinch wearing a Santa suit.

He’s holding two mugs and tries to pass one off to you.

“I can’t drink any more coffee or cocoa,” you whine and shake your head.

“I figured.” He says and pushes the mug into your hands, “It’s a hot toddy. Something to help you sleep.”

Taking a tentative sip you smile when you feel the familiar, smokey burn from the whiskey followed by the smooth honey. It’s sweet, but that’s how you like it. You scoot over on the step and pat the space next to you.

Bucky somehow manages to take up all the room without crowding you; that’s how he’s always been. When you rest your head on his shoulder, you feel him press a kiss to your hair.

“Is it weird being here with me?” It’s the question that you’ve been dying to ask. Everything has always been easy and simple between you two, even when you just stopped being you two.

“Why would it be weird?”

You sigh and sit up. That was enough of an answer right there if you ever heard one.

“This was my Christmas wish, doll.” You look over your shoulder to the man with the bright blue eyes and sweet smile. “I wanted you here again, even if it was just for the holidays.”

Without thinking you push yourself into his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. He chuckles as he rubs your back and pulls you closer. When you finally pull away you can see the laugh still in his smile and the longing in his eyes.

It’s been so long.

“You know, I used to get so excited whenever I heard you were coming to Wakanda for research,” Bucky tells you with a duck of his head as if he’s embarrassed to confess this to you. “The first time I ever walked into the city there was with you.”

Bucky had always given Shuri and her team all the credit for helping get back to himself; but between the two of you, he made sure you knew just how much you helped him grow.

“I may have made a few extra trips over there after we started to get close,” you concede. “I was still doing my job, but there was so much more to it then.”

“Then everything happened and then we got you all back. Steve went back for Natasha and they figured how to save Tony,” the memory of all the triumphs makes you a little misty-eyed. “Then one night there you were, knocking on my door.”

“I just wanted to talk,” he says with a laugh.

You had talked, about everything and nothing for hours that night. That one night turned into a year of quiet dinners, movie nights, and slow dancing in your room.

But in all that time, there was never any serious discussion about what you two were doing; you could deal with that and you certainly weren’t trying to initiate that talk. Everything was easy peasy, lemon squeezy between you two.

No definite plans, no routines, and nothing to catch you off guard.

Until the offer from Ross came and you knew that this was what you were truly meant to be doing. At least, you thought so two years ago; and when you sat down with Bucky to discuss it with him, he agreed.

“It sounds perfect for you, doll. You should take it if you want to.”

Hindsight had afforded you the opportunity to see that you two often said that to each other, “If you want to.”, or some variation. Not once did either one of you tell the other exactly how you felt, whether it was positive or not!

That’s why everything was so easy between you two all the time; you just always agreed with each other and nothing ever got done or decided.

“I wish we had stayed in better touch after you left,” Bucky’s comment pulls you from your thoughts. Here, the perfect opportunity was presenting itself to you.

“Why didn’t you? I know I had my reasons for not being better about it, but why didn’t you?” You’re trying desperately to keep the desperation out of your voice, but now that you’re asking, you need to know.

He hesitates, “I actually thought you didn’t want to talk to me.”

You stare at him for what feels like a full minute before he continues, “This job was a huge step and such a great opportunity for you and I … I didn’t want to be a distraction. I just wanted you to be happy and if you weren’t happy here, with me, then I should just leave you be.”

“I was happy here with you,” you pace in front of him and smile sadly. “I was so unhappy for the first six months or so that I was in DC.”

Bucky grabs your hand and makes you stop in front of him, “Why didn’t you keep in touch with me? You said you had your reasons.”

“It sounds so stupid, but I thought you didn’t care where I was; here or there, that it just didn’t matter to you.” You can feel the tears well in your eyes, “I thought you didn’t want me, so I just left you alone.”

“That couldn’t be further from the truth,” he tugs on your hand and you stumble towards him. “I always want you. Since the first time I met you across the globe to when I saw you last night at the airport and even right now.”

His warm, muscular hand cups your cheek and pulls you in for a kiss. It’s testing and slow and when you melt into him, awkward angle on the stairs and all, he opens his mouth to you and it’s like you’ve never had fresh air before. You drink in every bit of him, trying desperately to absorb his very essence and clinging to the hope of what this one kiss could mean for you both.

“You know, you both have perfectly good rooms you could put to use,” you both pull away sheepishly and look at Steve who has his arms crossed over his broad chest in his candy cane striped long johns.

“The Stark’s are headed out.” Steve turns and returns to the common room.

“C’mon doll, let’s go say goodbye to the kid.”

After hugs and kisses are passed all around you search for Bucky in the small crowd of your friends. Everyone seems to have dispersed and you remember the pile of unwrapped presents in your room and decide that you’ve had enough excitement for one night and head to your room to handle the gifts.

You spend the next hour or so methodically wrapping gifts and watching “Holiday Inn” and thinking about your future. There are two voices in your head, one telling you to stay in DC and one telling you to return to New York; you’re not at all sure which voice is supposed to be the devil or the angel.

You think again to how you could both, at least until a suitable replacement was found for you; and wouldn’t that make everyone happy?

You didn’t give a shit if it made everyone happy. You wanted to be happy, you deserved to be happy.

You wanted to be happy with Bucky.

After Christmas, you decide, you’ll call Maria Hill. Skype her with Tony and Steve, who undoubtedly will be on your side. Tony can convince Ross and then it’s a done deal.

Eyeing the present you had already wrapped for him when an idea came to you that caused you to spring to your feet and grab your coat and slide into your boots. You’d need some help with this and if this wasn’t the time for Captain America, you didn’t know what was.

Quietly creeping down the halls to Steve’s room feels insanely dumb at two in the morning. Calling or texting him would have been faster and simpler, but this was a spur of the moment thing.

When you reach his door and knock softly it takes a few minutes before the door opens. Natasha, in worn grey leggings and a ratty T-shirt, greets you.

Sleepy eyed but smiling she asks, “Did you need Steve to help with a grand declaration of love?”

“Yes,” She pulls you into the room. “I’m sorry for waking you up, but I do need his help.”

“S’no skin off my back, just make sure you get him back in time for his Christmas present.” she sends you an overexaggerated wink and you fight the urge to puke and burst out laughing.

She wanders off, presumably to wake Steve and he stumbles out a few minutes later.

“What do you need, kid?”

After explaining yourself and helping yourself to coffee in Steve’s kitchen and fixing two travel mugs to go, he stares at you in disbelief.

“You want to make a four trip to a New York welcome center for a picture?” he hasn’t even put on his coat yet.

“It will feel much longer if we don’t hurry,” you shove a travel mug into his hands. “I’ll drive!”

The next thing you know you’ve made it to the Adirondacks, done what you wanted to do and now Steve was driving you back to the compound.

“I can’t believe you woke me up for a four drive and that only took five minutes!” He’s complaining, but he’s smiling. He knows what his means. He knows how happy his two friends will soon be.

“I know,” you try to stifle a yawn. “It’s gonna be worth it, I think.”

When you get home you part ways, Steve for maybe an hour of sleep before whatever it is that Natasha does for him on Christmas morning and you for as much sleep as you can manage.

Ditching your coats and boots by the door, you fall into bed and dream of sugarplums dancing.

The banging could be elves working on toys in Santa’s workshop. It could also be someone trying to knock down your door. You pop one eye open and peek at the bedside clock that reads eight in the morning.

Two hours of sleep and now someone was breaking down your door, “Hang on, I’m up.” Hollering as you stretch and climb out of bed you head to the bathroom and run through a very abridged morning routine before answering the door.

Bucky is as handsome as ever in a lovely deep green cable knit sweater and dark jeans. He’s wearing the worn-out slippers you bought him several years ago and it adds to the charm and allure he possesses.

“Heard you snuck out after curfew last night,” he grins and leans against the doorjamb. “Wanna tell me all about your adventure while you open your present?”

You hadn’t realized, but he’d been holding one hand behind his back. When he revealed himself he was holding a beautifully wrapped package.

“I thought everyone was doing presents together?” You gesture him inside and take a seat on the couch.

“We are, but this is special.” He sits next to you and the grin fades into something serious.

“Well, you look well-rested and refreshed, can a girl at least take a quick shower?” Before he can answer, you’re off the couch and into the bedroom with the door closed behind you.

Bucky can entertain himself for twenty or so minutes and this will give you enough time to clean up and dress for the day and take of your very last present.

Over the running shower, you ask Friday to silently connect your phone to the printer in the room. But the time you’re rinsing the conditioner from your hair, it’s done and you can finish up.

After you’re dressed you realize you don’t actually have anything to put it in, so you just slip into a book and take it out into the front room with you. Stealth was never your point, but you could try.

“Feel better?” Bucky hands you a mug of coffee and you smile widely.

“Much, thank you,” you move back to the couch, grabbing his present from the pile on the coffee table. “Shall we?”

You hand over your gift before Bucky can give you his and he smiles as he rips into it like wild five-year-old.

You had found a lovely, antique hinged picture frame. It opened like a book and inside on the left, you had placed a photo taken of the two of you after Bucky’s first visit into the city in Wakanda. Both of you have sunkissed skin and big smiles; he had kissed you right before that photo was taken. It was the first kiss between you two, and it held so many possibilities.

On the right side, a photo was taken of the two of you after Bruce and Doctor Strange had figured out how to bring Tony back. There was a look of shock and awe mixed with an overabundance of happiness. You two had jumped at each other and hugged and when you pulled apart, someone had thought to capture it.

Bucky is deadly still.

He’s so quiet you wonder if he hasn’t reverted to Hydra assassin. You’re about to crack a joke to relieve what you believe to be tension when you hear the faint sniffle.

He’s crying so softly and when he looks at you, your heart wants to break.

“Bucky?”

“This- this is beautiful, doll.” He wraps an arm around you and presses his face into your neck and inhales deeply, “Thank you. It’s the most perfect thing.”

You embrace him tightly and when you pull away from him you immediately reach for the book to give him the second part of his gift when he shoves your present under your nose.

“Oh no, it’s your turn. Then you can tell me all about this late-night drive.” He wipes his face as laughs and you sigh and begin to pull at the ribbon on the package.

You could never rip apart this beautiful paper; the brushed silver background with the royal blue swirls all over it. You’re struggling for a moment until you realize the problem.

“Did you use packing tape?” Bucky laughs at your incredulity and you stick out your tongue as you reach for the scissors on the coffee table and slice through.

When you reach the box inside you can tell it’s lightweight. Opening the box reveals a beautiful knitted scarf in striking emerald.

“It’s from Ireland,” Bucky tells you as you lift it from the box and bring it up to rub it on your face. “I knew how much you liked them and I just figured-”

You cut him off with a quick peck on his lips, “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Pulling the entire scarf out, you notice something flutter to the floor.

“There’s something else, doll.”

Picking up what looks like a postcard, you turn it over to find an awkward looking photo of Bucky standing on a street under a sign that says “Welcome to Washington, DC”. You stare at it for a few moments and then burst into hysterical laughter.

“I know it’s a bad picture of me, but I thought the sentiment might be good enough,” He isn’t mad, but you can tell, even through your hysterics, that he’s confused.

“Is this a grand declaration?” You look to him and sober up quickly as he nods.

Reaching for the book and slipping out the photo you had just printed you hand it over and simply say, “Ditto.”

Bucky is struck dumb looking at you in your Christmas jammies and winter boots and coat in front of a huge “I <3 NY” sign at the New York welcome center in the Adirondacks.

“That’s what I was doing last night, or early this morning.”

He looks at you and his blue eyes are bright with fresh tears, “What does this mean doll?”

You take this picture from his hands and set it on the coffee table next to the picture of him in DC. When you turn back to face him you take his hands in yours and smile softly.

“It means that I haven’t been very happy and I want to be,” squeezing his hands you scoot just a little closer. “I want to be happy with you. I was always happy with you, Bucky.”

“With me? Are you sure?” He’s so earnest and eager. “I’d spend the rest of my life making sure you’re happy if that’s truly what you want.”

Leaning in, you press your lips to his. When he cradles your head and crushes your body to his you know how right this is and deepen the kiss. As he pulls away from you and caresses your cheeks you can feel the tears prick your eyes and the smile crepe over your face.

“Where will we live?” You both laugh and Bucky pulls you into a hug and leans back into the cushions of the couch with you in his arms.

“I don’t want you to leave your job. You’re still happy with that, right?” When you explain to him that while you do love what you do, the job is stale and you miss being around the Avengers compound.

You tell him of your plan to talk to Steve and Tony about being able to do both.

“What about the job for you in DC?” Bucky looks sheepish at your question.

“You know those desk jockeys you were going to get in January?” he nods as your jaw drops.

“Buck, you would hate it. Not the purpose behind it, but the actual job,” you turn towards him, animatedly explaining things. “Sitting at a desk all day, writing reports. You’d hate it. I don’t want that for you.”

He opens his mouth to respond but you place your hand over his lips, “I don’t care where we’re based, DC or New York, I just want to be with you. I’ll take Maria’s job and work with the team again.”

“Everything else is just details, right?”

“Right,” you snuggle back into his arms and sigh contentedly. “Wherever we are together will be home.”

Bucky presses a kiss to the top of your head and squeezes you gently in his arms, “Then we’ll always be home for Christmas.”

A minute passes and you burst out into laughter, “You’re such a dork, Barnes.”

He laughs with you, “A dork that loves you.”

“That’s been my Christmas wish for years,” you turn in his arms to kiss him again. “I love you too.”

@quant-um-fizzx @broco8

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #avengers #marvel #fanfic #holiday

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hot-wiings · 4 years

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[Edited: 12-24-19]

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears. I'll give it to someone special. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears. I'll give it to someone special.

December, 25th, 2019.

You smiled as you sat in the little cozy cafe where you were supposed to meet your boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugo.

You looked up from your spot to see one of your beat friends, Hitoshi Shinsou. He picked up your mug to take it back for another refill. He worked part-time at the cafe, sometimes he would give you free pastries.

"Looks like little BakuHoe is late."

You scowl at Hitoshi to which he scowls back at you. This was your third refill since you came in, Bakugo was in fact late. Hitoshi was never very supportive of your relationship. He felt you could do better than Katsuki, and that Katsuki could treat you better. He took every opportunity he had to put Katsuki down.

"Leave him alone Hitoshi. He makes me happy, shouldn't that be enough?"

Hitoshi's face softens as he sits down next to you. He grabs your hands from across the table.

"I want you to be happy, I just don't trust Katsuki... You're important to me, okay?"

The door dings signifying someone just walked in. Hitoshi pushes his hands away and glares at Katsuki as he walks past him and towards the kitchen to refill your mug.

"Hey."

"Hey, you're late but since it's Christmas it's okay. I know you had your reasons, besides refills are free."

"We should talk."

You blushed as thought about why he would wanna talk. Yesterday you spent the night together. Your first intimate night together. You woke up and he was gone, but you figured he had things to do, it is Christmas after all. Christmas is the busiest day of the year.

"Okay, we probably should."

"I wanna break up."

"What? Why would you..."

"We're graduating next spring. I have to think about my career, I can't be serious and move up the ranks with you distracting me. We're adults now and you're holding me back."

You ball your hands up into fists to stop them from shaking.

"I'm just a distraction that holds you back? Did last night mean anything to you? Anything at all?"

Katsuki hesitates before answering you. The hesitation gave you hope for a good answer only for your hopes to be shot down.

"Last night was a mistake. We never should have gotten intimate. We're still in fucking high school."

"You wanna break up because we're adults, but it was a mistake because we're still kids? You're contradicting yourself. God Katsuki, you're not making any sense."

The tears stream down your face as Katsuki walks away. Away from you and away from your relationship. You grab his wrist stopping him before he does.

"Just tell me how to fix this Katsuki. Whatever I did... I'll fix it. I'll change it. I love you."

Katsuki bites his lip as you walk closer to him. Your hands begin to fiddle with his scarf. When you're stressed or upset you liked to fix things. You wished you didn't.

As you fixed his scarf you noticed his skin was discolored. You move the scarf away to see a hickey. You were fairly certain you hadn't given him any hickies last night.

"This why you were late isn't it?"

"Fuck, [Y/N]..."

"Last night wasn't a mistake... It was just a mistake to do it with me. I'm the mistake."

Tears fell down harder. You wiped your nose and eyes dry with the back of your hand. It didn't help as they were just replaced by more years.

"[Y/N], you weren't the fucking mistake."

You kept taking steps away from him as he walked closer to you. Why was he doing this? He cheated and broke up with you, he can't comfort you. He can't be there for you. He's not yours, he's hers.

Hitoshi steps in and pushes Katsuki away from you.

"Don't you think you've done enough. Leave before I call the cops. You're no longer welcomed in this cafe."

Katsuki leaves the cafe but not before he looks back at you. With regret in his eyes, he watches as Hitoshi comforts you while you cry. You gave him your heart, but he broke it. He broke the best Christmas gift that he ever received.

Once bitten and twice shy. I keep my distance. But you still catch my eye. Tell me, baby. Do you recognize me? Well, it's been a year. It doesn't surprise me. (Merry Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it. With a note saying, "I love you," I meant it. Now, I know what a fool I've been. But if you kissed me now. I know you'd fool me again.

December, 25th, 2020.

You pulled your bag close to you as you opened the door to the Aizawa household. You close the door shut quickly to escape the brisk cold and turn to your Uncle Shouta Aizawa.

"Merry Christmas, Shouta."

"Merry Christmas to my favorite niece."

"I'm your only niece Shouta."

Your uncle takes your bags from you to take them to your bedroom. You lived with your uncle before you graduated from UA. After you graduated you moved out of the city with your best friend Hitoshi to get a jump start on your career.

"Hitoshi is coming for the holidays too, right?"

"Hitoshi got slightly delayed at the office but he's still coming. He hasn't shut up about how much he missed his mentor. I swear, it's like he's dating you instead of me– Shit."

"You're dating him now?"

Shouta sets your bags down on your bed and crosses his arms in a fatherly way. Shouta did raise you, it made sense for him to get protective.

"Whoops. Hitoshi and I were gonna tell you together, but yeah, we're dating now. Is that okay with you?"

"I suppose he is a lot better than some of your other exes... But I'm not letting you share a room now."

You roll your eyes at your uncle's behavior. You knew inside he was actually very happy about you and Hitoshi. Shouta loved Hitoshi like a son.

"You know me and Hitoshi live together, you helped us move into our apartment. If we wanted to have sex we would have already."

"Okay, but you know the walls are thin. If I hear so much as a thump, I'm running in."

"Okay, we'll be sure to wait until you're asleep."

Shouta smiled knowing you were just teasing him. You knew better than to have sex under his roof. He would kill Hitoshi, apprentice or not. Shouta's smile dropped into a thin line.

"I didn't tell you over the phone because I knew you wouldn't come... I invited some of my old students from your class over for Christmas dinner."

You scowl at the ground. He invited your ex-boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugo. It was exactly one year ago that you gave him your heart. One year since you gave him your innocent, and purity. One year since he shattered you.

You hear his rough voice ring through the house. It felt like forever since you heard his voice.

"Oi! The fucking door was unlocked, I brought wine!"

You exit your room to face your ex, Katsuki bakugo, destroyer of love, hope, and dreams. Maybe you were being dramatic, but he did cheat. That was the sad reality. He cheated, he was the bad guy and you were allowed to hold a grudge.

"Hey, Bakugo."

"[Y/N]..."

Shouta left the room leaving you alone with Bakugo. The jerk really left you alone with the guy who cheated on you. Why would he invite him in the first place? So much for being a father figure.

"I didn't know you'd be here."

"Me either. I mean, I should've fucking knew. You are related to Shouta. I guess a year will make you forget."

"Yeah."

You both look at the ground to avoid making eye contact with each other. You never wanted to see him again, yet here he was. On the other hand, Katsuki did not forget your relations with Shouta at all. He was hoping he'd get to see you again. Truthfully he really missed you.

Katsuki walked closer to you and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. He brought your face up to meet his eyes by cupping your cheeks.

"I really missed you [Y/N]... I really fucking regret last Christmas."

The closeness and the history between you both made you yearn for his touch. You hated yourself for it, he hurt you, you shouldn't be letting him cup your cheeks.

You have a boyfriend. You have a boyfriend who loves you. He adores you, he supports you, he is loyal to you. You weren't dumb. If you gave into Katsuki you would ruin what you had with Hitoshi only for Katsuki to hurt you again.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

"Katsuki... I have a boyfriend."

You pulled yourself away from Katsuki just as another one of your old classmates walks in the house. You saw the familiar black-orange eyes and pink skin of a former friend come towards you with a smile on their face.

Mina Ashido, your former friend slips her hand into one of Katsuki Bakugo's. It seems you were not the only one with a boyfriend.

"[Y/N], it's been too long!"

"Being ranked as one of the top ten heroes makes you busy."

"Right, you're the 9th hero."

"9th, and ranking up."

You give Mina the fakest smile as you eye her and Katsuki's hands. He really missed you for sure. As they say, once a cheater always a cheater.

Hitoshi walks in the house, his purple hair messed up from the wind with small specks of snow falling around him.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to turn in some paperwork."

Hitoshi walks over to you and kisses your temple. He wraps his arms around your waist and holds you as he takes in who you're talking too.

Hitoshi smiled as he saw Mina holding Katsuki's hand. Unlike you, he was warned by Shouta on the phone that Katsuki would be here.

He wasn't threatened by Katsuki, but he was worried about you. You and Katsuki had a bad history. One where Katsuki hurt you. It was easy for feelings to resurface. Hitoshi was worried feelings of hurt would resurface.

"Mina, Katsuki, you remember Hitoshi. He's my boyfriend now."

Katsuki would be lying if he said he wasn't inferior to Hitoshi. Katsuki wanted you back, but Hitoshi had you. If he was going to compete with Hitoshi it would be hard. How was he going to compete with the top tenth hero when he was the top twelfth?

"I heard rumors that Ms. 9th hero and Mr. 10th hero were dating, but you know how liable rumors are. I myself, and Katsuki are going on a little over a year."

A year? That meant Mina was the girl he cheated on you with. Confirmation straight from the horse's mouth.

He said he missed you yet he was still with the girl he cheated on you with. He didn't deserve to be by your side. He didn't deserve you hearing him out. He was trying to do the unimaginable, but he couldn't.

"A whole year? Wow. I and Hitoshi have only been together for a few months but he's the best boyfriend I could ask for. He's the most loyal guy you'll ever meet."

Loyalty, a word that apparently got left out of Katsuki Bakugo's dictionary.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special. A crowded room, friends with tired eyes. I'm hiding from you, and your soul of ice. My god, I thought you were someone to rely on Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on. A face on a lover with a fire in his heart. A man undercover but you tore me apart.

December, 25th, 2021.

You smiled as you walked hand and hand with Hitoshi up to your uncle's house. The ring on your hand glinted in the sun reminding you how precious and pretty it was.

"Let's tell him together this time."

"I swear last time it was an accident, but this time my lips are sealed."

Like the gentleman he is, Hitoshi opened the door for you. He even took your hat and hung it up on a peg with your coat.

"You're here!"

Your second uncle, Shouta's husband found you once you entered the house. You loved Hizashi like a father. He helped Shouta raise you and boy did he rip Shouta a new one for inviting Katsuki to Christmas last year.

Hizashi's eyes widen and he gasps as he sees your hand. The engagement ring was huge and shiny, of course, he couldn't have missed it. You slipped the ring off of your finger and put it in your pocket.

"IS THAT A WEDD–"

"Hizashi, be quiet! We haven't told Shouta yet."

Over the past year, you began to love Hitoshi. He would never hurt you. In fact, you don't think he even had a malicious bone in his body. Obviously, when he got on his knee to pop the question you said yes.

"You should tell him soon before the guests arrive."

"Guests?"

"Shouta invited Bakugo and some other old students again."

You bit your lip as you thought about him. The thought of Bakugo being there again was distasteful, but oddly you didn't feel as hateful as you did last year.

You didn't feel as hurt as you did, maybe your recent engagement to Hitoshi had to do with that. You were happy and in love. You wanted to get married to Hitoshi, you wanted to have kids and a family with him. Your relationship with Katsuki felt like a thing of the past now.

Shouta walks into the room to see you three talking. He smiles and goes to give you and Hitoshi a hug. Hitoshi might be your boyfriend, but he was Shouta's beloved apprentice too.

"My favorite niece is here."

"Well Uncle, I might be your only niece... But you're about to gain a nephew."

"No– He didn't."

"He did!"

Shouta rolls his sleeves up and turns to glare at your fiance.

"You knocked my fucking niece up!"

"What? No! God, I married an idiot. He proposed to her!"

"Oh. In that case, congratulations are needed. Where's the ring? When's the wedding going to be?"

You slip your ring back on and show it to Shouta with a beaming smile on your face.

"We want to have a spring wedding. We want Eri to be a flower girl, and Hizashi will DJ. Oh! And of course, you're going to walk me down the aisle."

"You're getting married?"

You turned to see Katsuki Bakugo in the doorway. Maybe if you hadn't been so happy and lovesick you would have noticed the anguish and hurt displayed upon his face.

"Hitoshi proposed! The weddings in march, you're invited. I was actually hoping your parents could help design my dress. Oh God, just look at the ring."

Katsuki planned to get you back this Christmas. He broke up with Mina, he hasn't been with another woman since. He was doing it right. But he was too late, you were truly Hitoshi's now.

What else was there to do? Crash the wedding? Cause you more anguish? No, Katsuki couldn't do that.

"That's a big fucking rock. Sadly I can't stay, Mina and I are heading to my parent's house this year. Last-minute fucking decision, but I figured I'd drop off some wine considering I already said I'd come here."

What a lie. Katsuki wasn't even seeing Mina anymore. Katsuki left the house to return to his lonely apartment and spend Christmas alone feeling conflicted.

You were happy, how could he ruin that for you? He couldn't just confess he still loved you, not after he shattered your heart. Not now that you're moving on. It wasn't fair that he had bad timing.

He needed to let go of your shared past and let you move on with your future.

Now, I've found a real love you'll never fool me again. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special. A face on a lover with a fire in his heart. A man undercover but you tore him apart. Maybe next year I'll give it to someone. I'll give it to someone special.

December, 25th, 2022.

You moaned as you laid back on Shouta's couch. Your feet were propped up on your husband, Hitoshi Shinsou's lap as he massaged them.

You were currently approaching the fifth month of your pregnancy. You were starting a family with Hitoshi. Some part of you was worried about how you'd manage being a pro hero and a mother but Hitoshi was going to be there every step of the way.

"God, you're so good at this."

"I know. That's how we got here in the first place."

Katsuki Bakigo sat down on the couch across from you. Lately, he'd been working with the hero agency you and Hitoshi work for. Although you were put on leave for your pregnancy, Katsuki had been spending time with Hitoshi for work purposes.

Sometimes Katsuki would stay at your house for dinner, you could say he and Hitoshi might even be friends. You were at a place where you were happy with Katsuki. You no longer felt pain from him, but rather focused on the love you had for Hitoshi.

"Hitoshi, when is dinner gonna be done. I'm really hungry."

"You're always hungry."

Before you knew it the tears started to roll down. You knew he wasn't saying to be mean, but these pregnancy mood swings were making you so emotional all the time.

"You're mean!"

"Hey, hey, hey, Don't cry I was just joking– Look I'll go to the kitchen and check on dinner, I'll even snag you a roll."

"Okay, I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass."

You wipe your tears away with the back of your hand while Hitoshi hands you a tissue. It seemed you were always crying lately.

"It's okay, you're just going through mood swings, it's normal. Just wait til' [Y/N] Jr. comes out, our bundle of joy will be worth it."

"With how much I've been sleeping and how grumpy I've been its definitely a Hitoshi Jr."

Hitoshi leaves the room to sneak you a roll or some type of other food from the kitchen to soothe your hunger.

"So you're going on five months?"

"Yeah, month five has turned me into a pain in Hitoshi's ass. I'm sore, I'm whiny, I'm angry, and always fucking hungry. I can't do basic things like getting dressed."

"How's Hitoshi been treating you, he seems tired whenever he comes into work."

"Hitoshi has been great. I have been pissing him off with late-night cravings for spaghetti sandwiches, but he gets up without complaint. Truthfully, we both can't wait to be parents."

Your hands fly to your stomach as you grunt from pain in your stomach. You swore this baby was going to kill you. Katsuki rushes over to you in a panic to help you.

"What's wrong? Are you in fucking labor?!"

"No, it's too early. He's just kicking. Here, feel."

You guide Katsuki's hand to your baby bump so he could feel. He smiles as he feels the baby kick. Once upon a time, he would have liked for that baby to be his. He still would have liked for that but he knew you were no longer his.

"So you happy then? With Hitoshi, and the baby?"

"He makes me really happy. He randomly surprises me with flowers, and he cooks for me. Nothing in our relationship is one-sided. He's perfect."

You miss the sadness in katsuki's eyes as he speaks to you.

"Then I'm really fucking happy for you."

He really was, he just wished he was the one you were happy with.

"Hitoshi and I were actually wondering if you would be the godfather?"

"You want me to be the godfather?"

Hitoshi comes back in the room. He gives you a stolen bread roll from the kitchen and he kisses the top of your head.

"Well, Shouta was the first contender but he's getting too old, so we went with the next best thing."

"I'll do it. I'll be your fucking godfather."

If he couldn't be the man that protected and provided for you then he damn well would be the man that could protect and provide for your child should anything happen to you.

"I'll be the best fucking godfather ever."

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werewolfdays · 4 years

Text

a beautiful dream

havin a bit of a stressful time so just a lil something that’s both sweet and sad. also a mood setter x. -

In front of me stood a door. It was hard to make out the details for some reason, but I still recognized this door. Still felt it had a place in my heart. Like a very old friend. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, I thought. Do you remember me? The door didn’t give me any indication that it did, but it also didn’t protest my thoughts either, which I took as a good sign.

I made a step forward to reach for the handle when an unseen hand grabbed my wrist, holding me in place. There was only the smallest twinge of an instinct inside me that warned me to prepare for a threat. Nothing could hurt me here, though. I knew that deep down. Once I turned, I came face-to-face with the person who had stopped me.

The warmth of her brown eyes met mine with a nervous twinkle, “I don’t know if I can do this, Jay.”

Of course I knew what she was talking about, yet I couldn’t place exactly what, “You’ll be fine, Nadya.” I assured her, squeezing her hand.

“What if they don’t like me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, they’ll love you.” Who was ‘they’? I think I knew that too somehow. “Everyone loves you.”

“This is different.” Nadya insisted.

I shook my head, “You’ll see.”

The door handle turned without any resistance, almost like it opened itself for me, and I led Nadya through the threshold. Everything was exactly how I remembered it. I tried with everything I had to burn this image in my brain the last time I saw it, knowing that once I left this place I may never see it again. But I was back. And the only difference now was the crackling fire in the fireplace spreading a comforting blanket of warmth throughout the house. All the familiar scents were there too, though it was hard to pick out just one. The piano that I spent so much time playing as a kid was nestled in its usual corner with its other instrument companions. Just the sight of it made my breath hitch. Maybe I should play something for Nadya after dinner.

“Anyone home?” I called.

A man came into the living room to greet us. This man was unmistakably familiar. His well trimmed beard was more gray than it was dirty blond, but his hair only had a few streaks of silver and was almost too long. If he used hair gel or something, he might not have to keep running his hand through it to brush it back so it wouldn’t get in his eyes, but he never liked using that stuff. Those eyes. Dark blue, just like mine, and framed by middle-aged wrinkles that became accentuated when he smiled at me.

The sight of this man nearly broke me and I wasn’t sure why. I just stood there, paralyzed as I stared at him and felt tears blur my eyes. It was incredibly painful, but also filled me with a relief and joy so powerful that I was afraid of falling over.

“There you are, my little pup.” He said proudly, wrapping me in a big hug.

I clung to my father’s shirt, burying my face in his chest like I did when I was a child. He still smelled the same. “Not so little anymore.” I told him with a tremble in my voice to hold back a sob.

“It’s been too long since I’ve seen you.” He said, pulling back and setting his hands on my shoulders, “Let me look at you.”

Another familiar voice came into the room, “Tristan, did I hear Jayde?” when my mother saw me, her face lit up, “Oh, there you are baby girl!” She exclaimed, coming over to cup my face.

“Hi mom.” I was unable to stop my tears now, but I also couldn’t stop smiling as she lovingly wiped them away.

It was hard to tell if I got my blonde hair from her or from my dad, they were similar in that way, but my mother’s eyes were mossy green. The color that Skye inherited. My mother aged very well, her body just as sturdy as my father’s when I hugged her, and though she was very kind, her sharp features could make her look very intimidating when she was angry. That was a trait that I knew I shared with her.

“You don’t make us wait so long to see you again, you hear me?” She scolded.

“I know, I didn’t mean for it to be this long.” I replied apologetically.

My mom smiled at me in understanding. Then her eyes shifted to look over my shoulder, “Who’s your friend?”

I quickly twisted around, feeling shame for having forgotten that Nadya was there. Especially since she was as much a part of my family as my parents were. She had taken a couple steps away from us out of respect, but now that attention was on her, she straightened up and shuffled towards me tentatively.

“This is Nadya.” I announced, placing my hand on the small of her back and giving her an encouraging caress, “Nadya, this is my mom, Andrea.” Nadya smiled and nodded at my mother. Then I motioned to my father, “And my dad, Tristan.” Before everyone could properly greet each other, I met my parents’ eyes, quickly adding, “And she’s my girlfriend, actually.”

“Your girlfriend?” My mother asked excitedly, looking from me to Nadya and back again. She understood exactly what my meaning was.

I grinned, “Yeah.”

My mother grinned and immediately advanced on Nadya, but not at all in an aggressive way. She cupped Nadya’s face in the same way she had with me, cooing with excitement, “Oh, look at how beautiful she is!” Then her hands shifted down to squeeze Nadya’s shoulders. My grin grew at the look of amused bewilderment on Nadya’s flushed face, “You are a very beautiful young woman.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Thatcher.” Nadya finally managed to say.

“So polite too, but there’s no need for formalities when you’re at home.” I wasn’t sure it was possible for Nadya to look more baffled at this exchange, but she certainly managed it at my mom’s words. “You must be very special if my daughter brought you to meet us.”

“She is.” I confirmed.

My parents shared a look, like they had an understanding, and my dad met my gaze with a warm smile. I may have even caught some relief in his eyes. “You two have gotta be starving from that long trip. Let’s have some dinner and Nadya can tell us all about herself.”

“Oh, there really isn’t much to tell.” Nadya said with a nervous chuckle.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fill in the gaps.” I told my parents, looking over at Nadya fondly. “I could talk about her all night.”

I relished the deep blush on Nadya’s cheeks as she suddenly took a special interest in our carpet. My parents definitely caught it too, but not wanting to embarrass Nadya further, they continued on to the dining room.

It could’ve been hours that passed, but it was too difficult to tell. Time was as nondescript as the food we had eaten. I had to keep reminding myself that we did eat dinner, though I couldn’t figure out the reason why I kept dwelling on it. It really didn’t matter. Not when I was sitting at a table with my parents and Nadya. Nothing else mattered besides this. It was a remarkable feeling that filled me with enough happiness to overflow. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so content.

The more questions Nadya answered and the more she told them about herself, the more taken my parents were with her. I was expecting them to fess up any minute now; admit that they preferred Nadya as a daughter over me, and I would agree with them. My father was trying to tone it down, but I could tell he was downright thrilled that she was the person I brought home. He must’ve gone through the usual fatherly fears when it came to my love life, dreading that I would end up with some deadbeat jackass. His bright-eyed expression revealed that Nadya was even better than he was hoping for.

Neither of them mentioned the fact that she was a girl. Or that she was human. My mom and dad knew that I understood the risks. They must have had faith that I would be responsible or they would have spoken up about it. It was what I expected, but it still reassured me. Without me having to say it, they knew I was in love with her, and that was enough for them to fully accept Nadya into the family with no questions asked.

“What do you say, pup, wanna play something?” My dad finally asked, downing the last sip of his beer.

The thought of playing music with my father again gave me an indescribable feeling. “Of course I do.”

It was when we made our way back to the living room and towards the piano, that I started to notice my surroundings fade. Maybe it was nothing, but the closer I got to my father’s beloved instruments, the more darkness flooded the edges of my vision. Knowing that our time was running out and desperately wanting to hang on for just one more minute, until I heard him play- until I got to listen to his singing voice just one last time, I rushed forward. But there was simply nothing I could do to make myself stay. I would have done anything to be able to stay.

I was yanked out of my dream. It was cruel. It was even more cruel than my usual nightmares. At least I appreciated when they finally ended. But this? Being able to see my dead parents again, watching them meet Nadya, and the promise of playing the piano with my father one more time like we used to do before he died? That was a new and devastating type of torture that my mind fabricated.

The pain of losing them suddenly hit me in a fresh tidal wave, like the scar I got from their loss was violently ripped open again. I gripped the pillow under me as the feeling forced white-hot tears across my face to dampen my pillow. Nadya was still asleep beside me, so I tried my best not to sob, but my efforts only succeeded in making every breath I took agonizing.

Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore and had to go for a run or something, I sensed Nadya wake behind me. I was being consumed by my grief when I heard her voice beckon me back to the real world.

“Jay...?” She sounded still mostly asleep, but her hand came to rest on my arm, “Is everything okay? You’re shaking.” I flipped over to meet her gaze and her eyes widened at the look on my face, suddenly wide awake and deeply concerned, “What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?”

“No,” I took so much solace in her touch, it started to pull me back from the terrifying darkness that was creeping up on me. “It was just a dream. A really good dream.”

“What’s wrong, then?” she asked gently, bringing her hand up to brush away my tears with her thumb.

“It was my parents.” My voice strained through the urge to sob and new tears immediately replaced the ones she wiped away, “You and I went back to my home and they were there. They met you.”

“Oh, Jay,” Nadya sighed and grabbed my hand to press it to her lips.

The small act of affection finally pushed out a racking sob that shook me to the core. Nadya moved closer to me, wrapping me up in her arms, and I allowed myself to curl into her while I cried. This felt better in a way, even if it was incredibly painful. Inhaling her scent with every uncontrolled gasp and being surrounded by the warmth of her body made me feel safe. Made me certain that this anguish would pass.

She continued to hold me patiently as I got it all out of my system, moving a hand up and down my back to soothe me. Nadya’s comfort helped me greatly, though I still cried for a long time. Until I finally felt some of my pain drift away. Not all of it. I would never be fully free of it forever, but it was enough to allow me to breath without difficulty. That and being in her arms was the best I could’ve hoped for after a dream like that.

We just lied together quietly for a while once I was done crying. I was expecting to feel Nadya fall back asleep, but she didn’t. She simply kept holding me and rubbing my back. I realized she was keeping herself awake for me. Waiting until she would be convinced that I was okay. I felt guilty, but I also desperately wanted her to stay awake with me. I was afraid of the quiet without her.

“I would give anything for you to meet my parents.” I said, breaking the silence with my voice sounding gravelly from crying, “To bring you home to them so they can get to know you and love you as much as I do. You don’t know how many times I wished I could tell my dad about you. Or ask my mom for advice.”

“I don’t know if there’s anything like an afterlife,” Nadya started softly, “But I do know the people we love live in us. Whether they’re alive or not. I mean, I always feel you with me, even when we’re apart, so I have to believe that they live in you too.” I hung onto her words as tightly as I clung to her, “They know, Jay. Somehow they know that you have someone who loves you more than anything in the world. That has to help them be at peace.”

She said those beautiful words with so much certainty that I had no choice but to believe them. I let out a sigh, expelling the rest of the darkness inside me and finally let my muscles relax. Then I nodded and planted a long peck on her shoulder, “Thank you, Nadya. I love you.”

“I love you too.” she replied and we fell into silence for another minute or so until she spoke up again, “Did they like me?”

The question made me smile, which was a sensation I desperately needed right now, “You were worried, but they loved you. I knew they would. They would have loved you so much, Nadya.”

“I probably embarrassed myself, didn’t I?”

I scoffed quietly and leaned back to kiss her because Nadya was just being so her and I loved her beyond words. She returned my kiss softly and sweetly, making sure I only felt her and how full of light and kindness she was. I felt how truly powerful she was in being so gentle. The horrible feelings and memories in my mind were no match for her strength.

“You are so perfect.” I told her after I pulled away and lightly bumped my forehead against hers.

“Do you even know what that word means?” Nadya asked, sounding amused. “‘Cause I’m far from perfect.”

“Not to me.” I replied and snuggled up against her again.

“Okay, fine.” she grumbled and played with my hair, “You believe your delusions.”

“Don’t be grumpy at me.” I said and moved my hand up her side, just inches away from her ticklish spot in a warning, “Go back to sleep.”

The mention of sleep made her release a sigh, ‘Are you going to go back to sleep too?”

I nodded, “I’m gonna try. How hard could it be with you here?”

Nadya held me a little tighter for a moment, “Okay. Don’t be afraid to wake me up if you need me again.”

“Thank you.”

She hummed before muttering, “Sleep well, Jayde.”

“You too, my love.”

#ocs #original characters #original writing #original story #My writing #ayyy the emotional support ocs strike again #i was feeling emo about the thought of Nadya meeting Jayde's parents #and well... they're dead so this was the solution #also we all deserve someone like Nadya who can comfort us and shit during painful times #Jayde #Nadya #Jayde pov

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bnhascribbles · 5 years

Text

Princess

Aizawa x Yamada, General

Birthday Family Fluff! A birthday gift for my pal @xxinksxx

Warnings: Swearing, Manga Character (Eri)

Words: 1.7K

This house was the same one that Yamada and Aizawa had lived in for years already, but today, it was almost unrecognizable. Everything was just so pink and frilly. The walls, the tables, even the ceiling–they were suffocated by balloons and streamers. It was any little princess’s dream; Yamada had insisted that if they were going to celebrate Eri’s birthday at home, they were gonna go all out. It wasn’t “over-the-top” if it’s what she deserved.

So sofas were shoved aside, making room for a made-to-order castle playset they’d flown in from some craftsman in Germany. Their daughter’s cake was just as extravagant–five tiers, each a different flavor (Eri had a lot of “favorites” and today wasn’t the day to make her choose between them), and the whole thing probably taller than the girl herself. The pièce de résistance though, was the dress. The same one Eri had not-so-subtly been eyeing in the corner boutique every afternoon her and Aizawa passed by on their walk home from U.A. It was blue, with enough tulle and extra fabric in the skirt to make a second, completely new dress. It was also the one gift Aizawa had insisted on purchasing himself. Yamada hung it on the coat rack by the doorway so that it would be the very first thing the girl saw when she bounced through the front door.

They would be here any minute now, but something was still missing. Yamada whips out his cell phone and dials a number he knows well. It rings four times before the person on the other end picks up.

“Hello?” A lazy voice drawls. Sleepy–probably woken up by the call.

Anger bubbles in Yamada’s chest.

“Hitoshi Shinso!” He hisses into the phone. “Where the hell are you? You’re gonna miss your sister’s birthday.”

“My sister?”

“Eri!” Yamada clarifies, running a palm down his face. Everything needed to be perfect, and that wasn’t gonna happen if Shinso wasn’t here. He and Eri were practically joined at the hip.

“Eri’s not my sister, Mic.” The words are barely coherent, garbled by a yawn. Then there’s a brief silence on the other end of the line, followed by a sudden gasp and a rustling sound. “Oh shit, that’s today! I’ll be there in like, ten.”

“You’d better be. And I don’t wanna hear you cursing in front of her when you get here.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll watch my fucking mouth. Got to go.”

The call drops. Yamada sighs and gets back to putting the finishing touches on his decorating. Everything was already in place though, so by the time he hears the lock click, he’s prepared–party poppers poised at the front door. It opens and Aizawa stomps in, Eri beaming beside him and gripping at his sleeve.

Yamada lets it rip.

“Haaaaaaaaappy Biiiiiiiirthday Eri!” The shout is just shy of deafening. He yanks the string on the party popper and confetti flies at the pair.

Eri let’s out a joyful squeal, running at her adoptive father and throwing her arms around his legs. He kneels down and captures her in a tight hug, glancing at his partner over the edge of his glasses. The smile plastered across Aizawa’s face seems almost… excited. Yamada feeds off of it, struck by another burst of energy that sends vibrations surging through his skin.

He shoots into interviewer mode, clutching onto his imaginary microphone, holding it out for Eri. “Don’t keep your fans waiting! Tell me, baby girl, how does it feel to finally be seven? Fantastic? Life-changing?”

The girl giggles leaning forward and speaking into his hand. “It feels nice.”

“Whaaaaaat?! Just ‘nice?’ That’s not good enough!” He pretends to be absolutely shocked, placing his hands on her shoulders. Aizawa rolls his eyes, but Yamada just grins wide and twists Eri so that she’s facing the coat rack and her (first) present. “Think this could dial it up to at least an ‘awesome?”

She shrieks and pulls away from his grasp, running at the dress and smooshing her cheek into the skirt. “It’s just like the princess dress they have in the store!” Eri faces her fathers, face flushed and eyes bright. Ecstatic. Smiles weren’t so rare from her anymore, but even so, Yamada’s heart swells. “But I saw it in the window while we were walking! How's it here too?”

Yamada tries to hide his upturned lips. “I don’t know about any store. This really old lady brought this by today–said it was for a little princess she knew lived here.”

Aizawa scoffs from the doorway. Eri peers back and him, then at Yamada. Her smile widens knowingly.

“I don’t believe that ‘Zashi.” She says, still clutching her dress. As usual, she was just too smart.

God, he loved this little girl so much.

“Aw, you caught me. Now that you’re seven, I guess I can’t fool you anymore.” Yamada groans, scratching at his head. “Your Papa ‘Zawa went out and got it made for you. You like?”

It’s Aizawa’s turn to be assaulted by love. Eri abandons her dress, practically tackling the man. Even though she’s small, the sheer enthusiasm behind her leap is enough to nearly knock him off balance. He has to take a couple of shaky steps to keep from plummeting to the hardwood.

“I love it, papa! Thank you!” Eri hops in place a few times, reaching up to grab her father’s hand. “Can I wear it now?”

“Of course. Let’s take it to your room so you can change.” Aizawa walks over and grabs the hanger. A tiny tug on his wrist makes his attention shift downward again.

“I wanna carry it.” Eri pouts, and Aizawa smirks just a bit. He hands her the dress, which she manages pretty well, despite its volume. She hobbles a little, but walks it off like a champ.

He follows close behind her, but stalls when Yamada purses his lips as he passes.

“Thank you, papa.” He chuckles, unfazed when Aizawa reaches out and uses his palm to lightly shove at the blonde’s cheek. Yamada catches his partner's wrist, planting a quick kiss to his knuckles before releasing him.

Aizawa rolls his eyes yet again, but there’s no missing the way his features seem to soften, if only a little bit. Then, they scrunch up again.

“Where’s Shinso?” He asks under his breath, careful to avoid catching Eri’s attention.

“On his way. He forgot it was today.”

Aizawa sighs, as though disappointed, then looks back at Yamada, who just shrugs. “I guess I’ll just forget to count the first twenty laps he does the next time we train.”

“I second that plan.”

An impatient “paaaapaaaa” rings through the hallway, and Aizawa smiles again, hurrying off to be fatherly and help his daughter. For someone that claimed to apathetic towards just about everything, he never hesitated to do anything when Eri was concerned. She had that man wrapped around her little finger.

The pair of them reemerge soon, just as a frantic pounding begins to shake the front door. Yamada checks who it is, then shoots Aizawa a look. He gestures Eri over.

“I think it’s another present here for you, princess. Why don’t you come over here and see what it is?”

Clearly confused, Eri steps forward, watching curiously as Yamada undoes the lock. When the door creaks open and the blur of purple hiding behind it becomes visible, her face lights up.

“Toshi!” She squeaks, nearly tripping over the edge of her skirt in her rush towards her friend.

“How’s my favorite girl doing today?” Shinso steps inside, grinning and holding an arm behind his back. He drops down on one knee, whistling, amused. “Man, look at that dress–you look just like a princess. You know what every princess needs, right?”

Eri shakes her head from side-to-side, watching enthusiastically as Shinso pulls a stuffed unicorn from behind his back.

“Every princess needs a unicorn. So I figured I’d bring you the first for your stable.”

Eri’s eyes sparkle as she reaches out and takes the plushie from Shinso. “He’s so pretty Toshi!” She traces over the glittery horn with her palm, weaves her fingers through its violet mane. “His hair kinda looks like yours!”

Yamada and Aizawa glance over at each other. There’s a silent moment of understanding between the pair of them: Shinso’s forgetfulness could be (at least partly) forgiven. Still, his little gift gave Yamada an idea–a tamer way of teaching a lesson that would also make Eri’s birthday just a little more special. A wicked grin stretches across his face, and Aizawa raises an eyebrow, questioning.

“I think you’re right, Shinso. Every princess needs a unicorn.” Shinso looks up at Eri’s father, suddenly suspicious. Good. “Or two.”

Yamada strolls towards the kitchen, grabbing a party hat from the place where it rests on the counter. Casually, he struts back towards the entryway, ambling a bit before leaning over and hooking the rubber band bit beneath Shinso’s chin. The purple-haired boy shoots a mildly-perplexed look over at his teacher, who’s hiding a smile behind his palm. At least Aizawa had figured it out.

“Eri, don’t you think it’d be fun to ride an actual unicorn?” Yamada asks, adjusting Shinso’s “horn” so that it’s centered at the top of his head. “Look, Shinso’s got the horn and everything!”

To his credit, Shinso doesn’t seem the slightest bit surprised. Sure, he breathes heavily for just a second, but then he hunches over onto all fours. “Climb on board, princess.”

Yamada clicks his tongue. “Unicorns don’t speak. They neigh.”

Eri hesitates, her gaze darting between Shinso, Aizawa, and Yamada. Like she’s still asking for permission.

“Go for it, sweetheart.” Aizawa coaxes from the corner, and it’s all the encouragement Eri needs to crawl up Shinso’s back, clutching at his shoulders.

Her joy is contagious–Aizawa tries to pass off a low chuckle as a cough, but Yamada knows better.

“Your princess is ready to go Shinso,” Yamada urges, pulling out his phone to take a video, “What do we say to that?”

The young man stares forward, as if that question was taking it just a step too far. Still, Yamada doesn’t think he has it in him to deny Eri of anything. In that respect, he was just like her fathers.

Shinso inhales.

“Neigh.”

#bnha #erasermic #eraserhead x present mic #mha #aizawa shōta #boku no hero academia #hizashi yamada #my hero academia #bnha aizawa #bnha shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #bnha yamada #bnha erasermic #bnha eraserhead #bnha present mic #HAPPY BIRTHDAY INKS #I APPRECIATE YOU #IMMENSELY

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bakugou-jpg · 6 years

Text

‘Promise’ Kirishima x reader x Dead!Bakugou

The news had hit everyone like a truck.

The number 2 hero Ground Zero ,also known as Katsuki Bakugou;; Husband of his loving wife (Y/n) Bakugou and father of their 3 year old son Tatsuki Bakugou, died during a fight against a few villains while protecting a hand full of school children.

It was a fight where his fatherly instincts had taken control of him where he wanted nothing more than to protect those young souls and later return home to be engulfed into the arms of his wife and kiss her lips passionately only to be interrupted like usual with his bundle of joy running into the kitchen and jumping into his arms, smothering his pride and joy with kisses and play hero and villain with him later that night.

He had managed to save those young souls, but the one thing he looked out to the most, The one thing he loved the most in the whole entire world;; His family, was something he was never able to do because before he had the chance he was knocked against a building by a powerful blast that was followed by another one against his skull that was fatal to him.

Bakugou never had the chance to say goodbye, to tell them how much he loved them and how much he cared for them and never had realized the kiss he gave his wife before leaving would and the ruffle on his son hair would be the last.

Because if he did he would've hugged and kissed his son like there was no tomorrow, telling him how much he loved him and how badass and proud he was of that little brat. How he would stand by what ever decision he would make, even though he probably wouldn't understand at such a young age and especially that he would always be watching his son and that he would have to look after his mother when he was gone.

And to his wife..To his wife he would kiss her, so damn passionately and lovingly like he did when he did when she announced she was pregnant and when he married her. Bakugou would thank her and hold her close, comfort her since she would obviously be crying, thank her for showing him love. Thank her for showing what it means to look forward coming home and not want to leave someone's side for the rest of his life and grow old with them. He would tell her how much he loved her, because oh did Bakugou love his beautiful and kind souled wife. One who had more kindness in her pinky than people did in their whole entire body.

Bakugou would've made love to her the night before, Nothing rough and nothing quick, no;; Bakugou would make it last long and Passionate. He really only wanted to make love to her and just show her how damn much he loved this woman.

But he didn't know, so he never was able to those things and he never regretted something more when he was sent flying off into the building right before he got killed and left behind a hysterically crying wife on the floor of their home who watched it happen on live television.

Bakugou also would've taken the time to sit down with Kirishima and thank him. Even though bakugou hated him for it in high school, Kirishima was the one who teased him on (Y/n) and did anything to set his two best friends up together. Even though he was never truly kind to Kirishima, he would set aside his usual angry self and thank him for being by his side.

But Kirishima made Bakugou a promise, one Bakugou asked him himself.

So when Kirishima had broke down crying in his small apartment upon seeing his best friend die on live television, he didn't hesitate to immediately run out of his house and rush to the house Bakugou and (Y/n) lived and enter it without knocking.

He didn't hesitate to quickly make his way to the living room, tears still staining his face, and fall down next to the broken woman, engulfing her into the biggest hug ever while staying strong as she screamed out of agony.

Words couldn't even describe how much it hurt Kirishima to see her cry like that, to see her so broken and the fact that he realized Tatsuki didn't know his father was gone and didn't understand he wouldn't be coming back for dinner or to play Hero and Villain with him made him tear up more and break down.

Kirishima watched the newlyweds talk to each other, Bakugou having his usual shit eating grin on his face and (Y/n) smiling gracefully like always.

It made the man smile a bit himself, because HE was the reason they 'got it on' and to see his best friends so happy made himself feel very happy.

Apparently Kirishima had dreamed off a little too long, because Bakugou had made his way to him without the red haired boy noticing with his hands dug into his pockets.

"Shitty hair" Bakugou said, snapping Kirishima out of his daze with a confused look.

Before the red head could even ask something, Bakugou grabbed his tie and dragged him out of the room to the empty balcony that wasn't too far away from the reception.

"W-wha did i do?! Did i stare too much?? Sorry for that i was just dozing o-"

"Eijirou i need you to make a promise to me, a promise that is very important to me" Bakugou said while leaning on the balcony and looking over the forest that was next to the mansion.

Kirishima's eyes had widened when he heard his name being called out by BAKUGOU. The one that always referred to him by shitty hair and on VERY rare occasions by Kirishima..But he had never heard his first name being called out by Bakugou of all people.

"Y-yes, of course. Are you o-okay??" He asked nervously, making Bakugou scoff.

"Of course i am you dumb fuck!" The ash blonde hissed, sighing afterwards and looking down at the forest again.

He tugged at the sleeve of his suit and fiddled around with the buttons. "Look, so like I'm now all married and shit and of course I'll always stay by her side and be there for her protect her with my life..But, i wanna be real here"

Kirishima listened, completely interested in his story since serious Bakugou wasn't a Bakugou he saw a lot. He stood next to his friend and also leaned on the railing but only with one arm, his eyes still on the pro hero.

"I'm a pro hero, a famous one. I've been through some pretty rough stuff, stuff that's kinda dangerous you know..We both know there might be a chance I'm not gonna be around anymore at some point." Bakugou said with a small grin, even though his eyes hinted to the fact he was hurt by the thought of it.

Kirishima's eyes widened and he jumped up. "Don't say that bro! You shouldn't think so negatively, I'm sure that'll never hap-"

"I'm not saying it will happen, but there's a chance it might and if it will happen i wanna make sure that i can go while being sure you're there for (Y/n) and take over my bloody damn fucking job as her partner!" Bakugou hissed while clenching his fist and pushing himself off of the railing, starring daggers into Kirishima's eyes.

"W-what..?" Kirishima muttered as his eyes widened in shock.

Bakugou groaned and unclenched his fists, rubbing his neck while starring off at the forest. "She's gonna be all by herself then..No one to be by her side, No one to comfort her, No one to protect her and make her happy!" He said, surprisingly calm. A small grin made it's way onto his face as he sighed.

"And i know my damn wife, my damn soft, kind but stubborn wife..She'd say she's gonna be all fine and all, keep on living her life while in reality she'd be breaking on the inside and crying every time she'd come home to an empty house knowing it's gonna stay empty for the rest of the day..It would eat (Y/n) from the inside and she wouldn't share it with anyone" He said, finishing it off with a scoff and a small snicker.

Kirishima grew extremely quiet as he felt the cold night breeze blew through his hair, even though it didn't move due to all the gel that had been put in there.

Bakugou looked up at Kirishima and dug his hands into his pockets. "I want you to take care of her for me, Eijirou Kirishima" He said, his face calm as the wind blew through his hair.

Kirishima blinked his eyes a few times before quickly shaking his head, his eyes tearing up at the thought of Bakugou dying. "N-no, Katsuki come on you can't say such thing-"

"The moment you hear I'm dead i want you to immediately be there for her, heck fucking run to our house or some shit. Comfort her and don't you fucking dare leave her side for those couple of weeks, even months. Of course it'll take time for the wound to heal and turn into a scar, but please, take care of her, be there for her, protect her, make her happy.." Bakugou said while gritting his teeth.

"..Greet her every time you get back home, If she's sick take care of her, If she's sad be there for her and hold her in your fucking hard ass arms. If i have kids, Take care of them too and hang every damn drawing they draw up on the fridge. Tell them how much of a badass their father was and tell them all the cool stories I couldn't tell."

Kirishima put up his hands as tears threatened to spill out of his eyes. "K-katsuki stop it, god you're almost gonna make me lose my shit"

"Play with them, go to their plays games whatever their hobby's are, go to their graduation and be their fucking #1 fan with whatever they do..If i have a daughter, walk her down the fucking aisle when She get's married and make sure She get's a good guy and to make the boys fear you when they first meet you" Bakugou said, his hands starting to tremble from all the emotions that were currently rushing through his veins.

"..Don't forget to make my kids feel accepted no matter what, because any kid of mine no matter what is gonna be the fucking best" He said with a big smirk plastered in his face.

Kirishima's bottom lip started trembling as 'manly' tears started to spill out of his eyes.

"And most of all, you better fucking love her like there's no tomorrow. Because you're lying if you say you don't love her, i see the way your eyes soften every time you look at her and how your cheeks turn a soft pink color every time she laughs at your jokes and touches you" Bakugou said with a deep sigh, surprisingly not seeing furious about it what Kirishima had expected.

Kirishima blushed and scratched the back of his neck, not denying any of it whatsoever. He focused his attention back to Bakugou, again with holding in his loud sobs.

Bakugou held out his hand. "So if you can promise me to do that for me-"

"I promise, Katsuki!" Kirishima shouted while launching himself forward and wrapping his arms around Bakugou's neck, staining his suit with tears.

Bakugou sighed and smirked, patting Kirishima's back. "Good"

Tears streamed down Kirishima's face as he broke down and hugged (Y/n) closer to him, rubbing his hand up and down her back soothingly.

Words didn't get spoken, after all what was there to say?

'It's okay?' No, because it wasn't okay. Bakugou got killed, their best friend and they both saw it happen.

'Don't worry, I'm here?' That was just something cheesy to say which didn't fit the situation and Kirishima knew much better than that.

'You're gonna be okay' She was gonna be broken for a long amount of time, her heart having to heal for atleast two years.

'No need to cry' was already obvious why that shouldn't be said.

Kirishima sniffled and inhaled, looking down at her. "I'm here, and i promise you that I'll never leave your side..I can't replace Katsuki and that's definitely not what i want to do, but I'll help you get through this and i want you to know that you're not alone, (Y/n)" He whispered as his tears fell on top of (Y/n)'s hair.

The woman didn't respond with words but she gripped Kirishima's shirt and buried her face into his chest, continuing to cry and sob her eyes out.

Kirishima pulled her closer and buried his nose on top of her head.

He wasn't sure what was going to come, what things would happen after this and how this would affect everything..But he was sure of one thing,

And that was that he was going to held onto that promise he made 6 years ago.

#boku no hero academia #bnha #my hero academia #mha #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima #kirishima x reader #drabble

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