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cherrycheridarling · 3 years

Text

never have i ever | t.h.

tom holland x reader

warnings: talks of smut, drinking, suggestive, swearing and angst.

summary: your fwb relationship with tom was still a fresh wound and his new girlfriend loved picking at it.

a/n: happy pride month!

wc: 2.3k

You had messed up. Tom had messed up. Thinking that you could sleep with each other and not get attached. Spending endless nights together, filling the room with moans and heat. All while promising 'no strings attached'.

Your feelings for him had developed halfway through your year long rendezvous. The way he would lace your fingers with his as he pounded into you. Whispering sweet praises in your ear, guiding you to that high that you craved and only reached with him. His gentle kisses that were a complete abstract to the way his fingertips dug harshly into your hips. Everything he did had you falling head over heels.

Tom tried to fight off his heart. Tried to deny the growing love he had for you, but it was futile. Your fingernails left marks on his back, reminders of his nights with you. When you kissed his lips and lightly tugged on his locks, it was as if you were pulling the strings of his heart. The way you would lock eyes with him as you both climaxed, he fell head first into you and couldn't get out.

Your sexual agreement with him was strictly confidential. Meant to be platonic. None of your roommates knew of the activities going on after hours. No one noticed when you'd sneak into his room at three in the morning or when he'd leave yours at seven a.m., tiptoeing back to his bed.

You could barely recall how everything began. The night was a blur of too many shots and discarded clothes. You were able to remember the specific words: "Just once." Ironically, you both did not keep your word.

You remembered the time when everything fell apart. When your 'no strings attached' agreement formed two strong ropes, connecting you and Tom. His forehead rested against yours, thrusts growing sloppy as he neared his high. Pornographic moans falling from your lips. Seconds later, he lost all control and let four heavy words slip out.

"Fuck, I love you."

You remembered freezing. Heart rate sky rocketing. You weren't sure if your ears were playing tricks on you, but by the look on his face, you knew he had really said it. He had left in a panic, frantically grabbing his clothes and storming out of your room. Leaving you nude, out of breath and utterly shocked.

Your friendship with him took a toll after that incident. Your late night meetings came to an abrupt end. You couldn't be alone together, awkward silence eating away at the both of you. You both coped with the tension differently.

You spent more time out of the house. Going to clubs, visiting friends, even going to the gym. Anything to stay away from Tom and the history he held.

Tom tried to move on. He got himself a girlfriend. A pathetic attempt at distracting his mind from you and your shared secret. She would spend the nights at the house. You'd hear giggling through the walls, bed creaking, moans being muffled by the drywall.

You tried to convince yourself that it didn't hurt, that you held no romantic feelings towards him. But it was fruitless, he engraved himself into your heart.

You barely knew his girlfriend. Didn't have any interest in getting to know her. All you knew was her name and what she sounded like in bed. Nadia Parkes. A fellow actress friend of his.

She was never kind to you. From the first day you met at Tom's birthday party, she sent you sharp glares. Anytime you walked into the kitchen or living room, she would cling onto Tom like a lifeline. As if you would snatch him from her.

She became good friends with the rest of the house mates, Harrison, Tuwaine, Harry and Sam. Spending nights playing board games that you opted out of joining in for. But sometimes the four boys would beg you to sit down and spend time with them.

That's how you ended up here. Six months after Tom's confession. Sitting in your living room with your roommates and Nadia. Glasses of alcohol in front of you. Trying to fight the tension between you and a certain brunette Brit.

"Let's play a game." Nadia spoke up, Tom's arm around her shoulder.

Harrison shrugged, "What game?" he paused the movie playing on the telly.

Nadia smirked, "How about 'Never Have I Ever'?"

The boys shrugged, not caring about the game, too much alcohol in their systems to protest. You, however, weren't in the mood to sit around any longer and watch their disgusting acts of PDA. You knew that with the amount of liquor the group had taken, the game was bound to be a filthy one.

You shook your head, "I think I'm gonna turn in for the night." you stood up before Nadia spoke again.

"Aw, c'mon, Y/N. Play a few rounds with us." she fake pouted.

You narrowed your eyes at her, opening your mouth to reply, but Harry beat you to it, "Yeah, you're barely around anymore. It'll be fun." the redhead smiled.

You cursed him for speaking up, his hopeful grin making you sit back down on the couch with a huff.

"Goodie! Who wants to go first?" Nadia clapped her hands excitedly.

Sam's hand shot up, "I'll go. Never have I ever gone skinny dipping in a hotel pool." he stated.

You looked around as Harrison and Tom took a sip of their drinks. You lifted the glass and sipped a bit of the vodka.

Tuwaine chuckled, "Did all of you go skinny dipping together?"

Before you could deny the theory, Harrison nodded, "Yup. When we were in Atlanta for Spider-Man, Y/N came to visit and we went down to the pool. Man, we were so hammered. I remember I woke up wearing Y/N's bra!" his explanation of the story made the group laugh.

Everyone laughed except Nadia. Tom gave a slight chuckle. You smiled thinking of the memory. Nadia had a stone cold expression on her features. You couldn't understand her coldness. You barely interacted with the girl, you failed to think of a reason why she would dislike you.

"I wanna go!" Tuwaine announced, "Never have I ever faked an orgasm." your eyes widened at his risqué words.

You chuckled a bit, "How would a guy fake an orgasm?"

"Like, make the noises, but don't pull out?" Harry's guess made everyone laugh.

All the boys shrugged as they directed their attention towards you and Nadia. You sighed before taking a long swig of the liquor, Nadia did the same.

"What?! With who?!" Harrison exclaimed at the new found information.

Nadia smirked, "My exes. Never with Tommy." she turned and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

You nearly gagged. At the nickname that he knew you hated. At the grotesque display of affection. You wished that the alcohol would take away your ability to see.

"I don't know why it's so shocking. Most guys don't really care about a woman's pleasure. That is why vibrators exist." you tipped your glass as they chuckled.

Tuwaine furrowed his eyebrows, "Then why hook up with the guy if he doesn't make you finish?"

You shrugged, "Well, you don't know that they're not gonna make you finish until you're already doing it."

You watched from the corner of your eye as Tom's gaze stayed on you. Most likely wondering if you ever faked an orgasm with him. You hadn't, but there wasn't any way you could reassure him at the moment.

"Hmm, I'll go." Harry hummed, "Never have I ever joined the mile high club."

You scoffed and took a sip of the drink again. Harrison, Tom, Nadia and Tuwaine doing the same.

"You guys are insane." Sam mumbled making you laugh.

The only reason that you were a member of the club, was because of Tom. But you wondered if you were the only reason he was able to say he was as well.

Nadia smiled a sinister grin, "I think I'll go next." she sat up, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. She was sitting directly across from you, maintaining eye contact as she spoke, "Never have I ever had sex with an actor." she slowly lifted the glass to her lips and took a long sip.

Your breath hitched at her statement. The boys all locked eyes on you. Anticipating your next move. You chanced a quick glance at Tom who was subtly sipping his drink.

She couldn't know. Tom wouldn't have told her. So, where the hell did that come from? Was she making assumptions and trying to get an answer out of you? Or was she trying to brag? Sipping her drink, taunting you.

You let out a dry chuckle before bringing the rim of the glass to your lips and letting the alcohol run down your throat. There were audible gasps at your action. Tom diverted his gaze to the table in front of him. You watched as Nadia's jaw dropped. Pure shock written all over her face.

"What?!" Harry exclaimed, "I knew about Nadia and Spidey over there, but who the hell did you sleep with?"

Harrison gasped, "Please tell me it's Tom Cruise."

"Come off it, mate. It's obviously Leonardo Dicaprio." Tuwaine rolled his eyes

You shrugged with a laugh, "Who's going next?" you yawned and relaxed into the cushions.

Sam gasped, "Let's narrow it down. Never have I ever slept with a Marvel actor." he smirked as everyone continued to eye you.

Once again, Nadia sipped and you followed. Another chorus of gasps came from your friends.

"She's taking the piss. She has to be." Harry said with an unbelieving smile. "Hemsworth? Evans? It has to be one of the Chris'"

"Tom help us out!" Harrison screeched.

You chuckled as Tom shook his head, "You'll never know." you sent them a smirk, "Who's next?"

"You're grounded until we find out," Tuwaine pointed an accusing finger at you, "But I'll g—" he spoke again before Nadia cut him off.

"—Me! I'll go again." she leaned forward again, examining your every move. "Never have I ever slept with one of the Holland brothers." she smirked again, thinking you had actually spent the night with one of the Chris'.

You figured out that she was definitely trying to brag, thinking that you wanted her boyfriend. She wanted you to know all about their sex life. She wanted you to know that he was hers, not yours.

You watched as she smugly downed her drink. Eyes locking back on you. You felt your irritation towards her taking over. Her pleased expression had your blood boiling. All rationality flew out the window. You no longer cared about who found out about your history with Tom. Wanting nothing more than to slap the smirk off of her face.

Your eyes gazed at Tom. He was watching your movements intently. Waiting for you to take a sip. He didn't care about who found out either. Having been fed up with Nadia's attitude for a while. He gave you the smallest of nods. You smirked, an equally sly grin, before letting the liquor burn its way down again. Wiping the excess drop on your lip with your thumb.

Her jaw fell again. Everyone gasped. All eyes on you. Tom awkwardly cleared his throat. Trying his hardest to suppress his grin.

"I didn't sleep with her." Sam spoke slowly.

"Me neither." Harry followed, "And I highly doubt she shagged Paddy. So," he trailed off.

Everyone's eyes landed on Tom. His scarlet cheeks were enough to confirm their suspicions.

"No fucking way." Harrison mumbled.

Before anyone else could react, Nadia screeched, "You slept with my boyfriend?!"

You rolled your eyes, "If you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked."

"You're lying." her eyes flickered between you and Tom, "Tommy would never sleep with someone like you." she spat the words filled with venom.

Her words raised a different level of anger in you. Everyone froze at the insult.

You shook your head with a dry laugh, "Is that so? You should get to know your boyfriend a little better then." you fake pouted.

Her anger was evident on her features. Narrowed eyes, furrowed eyebrows. Her whole face was turning red, "You cheated on me?!" she directed her rage at Tom.

His eyes widened, "No! This was long before I met you!" he defended himself.

Nadia stammered momentarily, at a loss for words, "S-so it's true? You slept together?" her voice was almost inaudible.

You smirked a sly grin again, "I'm many things, but a liar is not one of them."

You could see Tom stifling a laugh in the corner of your eye before Nadia erupted with rage, "How could you?! I let you live with my boyfriend and you don't tell me that you slept together? You disgust me." she spat the words at you.

Your anger raised, you stood from your seat, "You did not allow me to live here because I don't need your permission to live with my friends." you paused and stepped closer to her, "If I disgust you so much, please feel free to walk yourself out of my home. Because frankly, you disgust me."

Everything was silent. Everyone was processing the situation. Harrison and Tuwaine had stood up when you did, prepared to hold you back in case things turned violent.

Nadia looked to Tom, "You're going to let her speak to me this way?"

Tom looked between the two of you before shrugging mindlessly, "It is her home." he mumbled.

You could see Harrison and Tuwaine stifling laughs out of the corner of your eye. Nadia's face turned a darker hue of red.

"I-I gave you everything! And this is what I get in return? I loved you with all of my heart, Tom." she turned her gaze on you. "You two deserve each other. Absolutely appalling." Nadia turned on her heel and left the house with a harsh slam of the door.

An eerie silence filled the room as all eyes were on you and Tom.

"We were together for, like, four months." Tom spoke into his glass.

Laughter erupted at his words. The comfort of your flat mates filled the air. Eyes locked onto Tom's again as you mouthed the long awaited words.

"I love you, too."

His grin grew tremendously. Matching the smile gracing your lips. You basked in the moment until Harrison's voice screeched.

"Wait! When the fuck did you two sleep together?!"

#tom holland #tom holland angst #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x osterfield!reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x singer!reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland oneshot #tom holland series #tom holland fic #tom holland girlfriend #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x fem

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cellophaine · 3 years

Text

Home With You

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Word Count: 3003

Warnings: None.

Author's Note: I figured I should give you guys a break from my smutty contents lol. And I just wanted to write an indulgent fluff piece.

As always, every likes, comments, reblogs, feedbacks and ask submissions are greatly appreciated! My heart goes into cha-cha-cha mode whenever I receive notifications from you guys (it's a happy mode)

Prompt requested by: Anonyomous (love you anon <3)

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"Matt?!"

You called out as you walked into his apartment; the exhaustion crept into your voice. His name echoed back to you in the empty place, a tell-tale sign of Matt's absence. You huffed out a frustrated sigh as you stepped out of your heels, padding into the living room on bare feet, much to your relief. You dropped your briefcase to the floor with abandon, planting face-first onto the couch, releasing another weary sigh. This was the third night in a row you missed him on his way out, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. At this point, it had become a regular occurrence. You felt like you barely saw him as of late. All you had was the little time in the mornings with Matt's body wrapped around yours in the bed. And it wasn't enough. How could it be?

Your workload as a paralegal at Hogarth, Chao & Benowitz had picked up in the past few months. The pay was more than decent, but it resulted in more time assisting Jeri Hogarth in cases and less time spending with your boyfriend. The immense amount of guilt you felt kept building up, as you knew Matt was not happy about your situation, but he always knew what to say to make you feel better. You had spent time running around New York for researches, staying late at the office at Hogarth's requests.

The days would always end with you worn out to the bones. Matt hated how the job was clawing at you, chipping away a piece of you every day, leaving you stressed out and exhausted. But he was supportive anyway, understanding that it was your choice in the matter. And so, Matt was the only constant, comforting source in your life. He would be there every time you woke up, cuddling and kissing you, making sure that you had all your meals throughout the day, taking care of you when you couldn't do it yourself.

You dragged your enervated self into the shower, lathering yourself up with Matt's shampoo and body, indulging in his scent under the hot water. The clean smell of his soap in the shower steam helped relieve the ache of missing him in your chest. You had slept over his apartment every night. Still, ironic enough, you felt like you drifted away further from him, not of your own volition. Matt was the anchor that kept you close, but how long would it last? How long would he be willing to stay?

You patted yourself dry, walking into his bedroom, the air cool on your exposed skin. You opened the closet, pulling out a sweatshirt of his. You hugged it close to your chest, dropping your head low to inhale the smell of him. You pulled the shirt on along with his too-big sweatpants, tightening the strings at the waistband. You put on his socks, too, tucking them over the hems of the sweats, just like how he always did it. A habit of his that you had absorbed. A bittersweet thought struck you. Despite being in his apartment, often living in his space more than your own, you wore his clothes just to feel closer to him. He was close but never close enough.

You found your way to the couch again, plopping your head on the pillow. You curled into yourself, settling in a comfortable position. You didn't bother with dinner, for you craved something else. You just wanted him here. You wanted to spend every second you could get with him to make up for the time you had missed. You tried to stay up, waiting for him to come back. But the toll of the day pulled on your eyelids, luring you into sleep with much resistance from you.

A weightless feeling woke you from your sleep. You blinked sleepily; your hazy vision revealed Matt, still in his Daredevil suit, the helmet was nowhere in sight. His unseeing eyes radiated the comfort and affection you loved, and you hummed happily at the blessed sight of him. A smile pulled on the corner of Matt's lips as he laid you down on the bed, pulling the soft blanket over you. He brushed your hair off your eyes before leaning in, pressing a lingering kiss on your forehead. You smiled sleepily at his gesture, tilting your face up as his warmth left your skin. Your lips met his halfway, and you sighed into the kiss that you craved with the entirety of your being. You needed this, needed him; you yearned for him. Your hand found its way to him; his light stubble tickled your fingertips. You caressed his face, needing to touch, to feel him, as the kiss grew heavy. Finally, he pulled back from you with much reluctance, within your reach, just enough so you could hear his whisper.

"Have you had dinner? I left you your favourite in the fridge."

You pressed your head into the pillow before shaking your head, along with a muffled confirmation of his suspicion. His brows furrowed, and you quickly pulled on his jaw, drawing him closer. You resumed the kiss, and once again, Matt was the one who broke away. Lowering your voice in a soothing tone, you asked in the hope of distracting him.

"Do you have any injuries that needed to be looked at?"

"It was a pretty uneventful night. I know what you're doing, and it's not working."

He responded at once; his head shook slightly in disapproval. He knew you too well. You knew that. But you didn't want to get up while all you wanted was to bask in his familiarity, his warmth again.

"I had a very long day. I just want to go back to sleep, with you. Please?"

Your desperate plea tugged at his heart. His eyes softened as he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips.

"Alright. But you will have a big breakfast, first thing when you get up."

You bit your lip, brows waggling at him, even though you knew he couldn't see that. A playful, suggestive tone glided into your voice.

"Oh, I definitely would like something 'big' for breakfast."

He let out a small laugh at your terrible tease.

"I'm serious. I was gone for a few hours, and you already neglected yourself."

"I promise. I'll be yours for the entire weekend. Now, can you get your ass in this bed, preferably naked? Pretty please."

He chuckled, standing up to pull his protective gear off. A few rustles later, the mattress dipped as Matt climbed into the bed behind you. He pulled you into his chest, pressing butterfly kisses on your hair. You turned onto your back, giving him easier access to your lips. He eagerly took you on your offer, pulling you in for a soft kiss, so soft that it made you melt into his embrace. He moved to kiss your cheeks, making his way to your eyelids, ending the kiss on your forehead.

"Sleep now, sweetheart. I'll be here when you wake up."

You turned to your side to cuddle into him, curling your hand behind his muscular back. You nuzzled your face into his firm chest, kissing and nibbling sleepily on the naked skin. You fell asleep promptly, grateful for the weekend ahead of you.

Your phone buzzed again and again on Matt's bedside table. You groaned, burrowing your face further into Matt's chest. The faint scent of blood and sweat, of Matt, infiltrated your senses through a daze. However, whoever on the other side stayed persistent; calls came in after calls. Finally, you untangled your limbs from Matt's with frustration, answering the call to hear Hogarth's voice on the other side.

"Where the fuck are you? Why didn't you pick up your damn phone?"

"It's… it's the weekend."

"And? This case won't go away itself. Come in now, or you're fired."

Your ears met with the dead tone from the other line. You fell back onto the warm bed, feeling like you could burst into tears. Pressing your face into the pillow, you muffled a silent scream. Matt propped on his elbow, caressing your back with the other hand.

"Stay here. Quit the job. You deserve so much better than how Hogarth's treating you."

You murmured.

"I can't. Her words have weight. She can really help me with my career. The pay isn't bad either."

"I know, but it's not worth it. I don't like seeing you bend over backward to every of her demand. I can feel your exhaustion every night. I hate seeing you so harrowed and stressed out."

You sighed heavily.

"It's not like I can quit right away. Not until I can secure a better job somewhere else. Rent in Hell's Kitchen is crazy. Until then, I'm stuck with her."

You moved around in the place, talking to Matt as you got ready. When you stepped out of the bathroom into the living room, dressed in your work attire, Matt walked over to where you stood, offering you a cup of tea. You smiled sadly at him, stroking his cheeks. Then, you raised on your tiptoe, kissing him swiftly before picking up your briefcase, making your way to the door.

"I'm sorry, I can't drink the tea. I'm already late. I'll see you later tonight?"

Matt fell into silence; his head turned away from your direction. The mugs of tea in his hands stayed still and abandoned. You felt an awful jerk on your heartstring for leaving him like this. You spoke softly.

"I love you."

One moment of silence, then two. Matt reluctantly spoke, his voice small, barely audible.

"Love you, too."

You gnawed on your bottom lip in defeat, walking out the door. Your heart grew heavier with every step you took, carrying you further away from him.

When the elevator opened, you were working at your desk, just outside of Hogarth's office. You looked up just in time as the infamous P.I of Hell's Kitchen walked past your desk, sparing a glance towards you. You sprang up from your seat, running after her.

"Ms. Jones, I'm sorry, but you can't go in there. Unfortunately, Ms. Hogarth is not available at the moment."

Jones reeked of alcohol, but there was no sign of intoxication. She scoffed.

"I don't care if she's fucking another secretary in there. Step aside. I don't want to hurt you."

You stood in her path, taking your stance. Although preventing Jessica Jones from entering your boss' office wasn't your job, Hogarth made you do it anyway. She made you do many things that went beyond your responsibilities as a paralegal, as she always held her power over your head like an invisible sword, readied to strike at any given time.

Jessica rolled her eyes, sidestepping you. You stuck your foot out in her path, making her boot catch on your heel. She stumbled lightly, whirling around to face you.

"Seriously?"

You swallowed, shrugging.

"A girl's gotta do what she's gotta do."

"Maybe that girl should get another job and stop working for that monster."

Jessica quickened her pace, pushing the door open as you chased after her.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Hogarth, but she …."

"… tired of your shit, Hogarth. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Jessica gritted out the words. Your boss sent a deathly glare at you.

"Leave us."

She flicked a wrist at you, and you closed the door behind you as fast as you could. You went back to your desk, speeding through your mountain of paperwork. About half an hour later, Jessica walked out with a menacing expression on her face, heading straight for the elevator. Jeri walked out about two minutes later, looming over your desk.

"If that happens again, I will personally destroy your little, pathetic career. You hear me?"

You nodded solemnly.

"Have them on my desk before 5."

Hogarth left you alone for the rest of your time there. You were done with the work at a little over 3 PM. You dropped it off, and it was refreshing to see a surprise expression on her face for once instead of the usual scowl you received. Then, you headed straight for Matt's place, couldn't wait to get back to your boyfriend, despite the little not-an-argument you had earlier that day.

He wasn't home when you got there. You sighed, afraid you had messed things up with him. After changing into something more comfortable, you sat down on Matt's kitchen table with your laptop open and a steamy plate of food Matt left you last night. You sat there, your fingers tapping away on your device for what felt like hours until you heard the sound of the door being opened. Matt walked in, dressed in his usual gym clothes with a duffle bag hanging off his shoulder. His face was flushed, his hair stuck out adorably. You stood up, lingering at the chair. You cleared your throat.

"I'm… sorry for this morning. Are we … okay?"

You ached to hug him, to be gathered into his arms, to kiss him. Your bottom lip trembled slightly. You wouldn't know what to do if he said no.

He could sense your uncertainty with every word. His face softened at your vulnerable disposition, his arms opened wide, dropping his cane and bag to the floor with little care.

"Of course we are."

You lunged into his embrace, holding him tight as he picked you up easily, his face buried in the crook of your neck. You found his lips, pouring your heart and soul into the kiss. Eventually, you pulled away from each other as you gasped for air, your foreheads touching.

Matt lowered you down to the ground, still holding you in his arms, his hand caressing your spine in a soothing motion.

"I'm looking up other jobs. Hogarth is … horrible, and I'm always stressed out. You're right. It's not worth it."

"You know … Nelson & Murdock can use a helping hand."

Matt raised his brow at you; an endearing grin pulled at the corner of his lips. You smacked his chest playfully.

"As if I'm not helping you guys in my free time already."

You trailed a finger from the waistband of his sweats, ghosting over his abdomen and chest, ended your way at the pulse on his neck, stroking the delicate arc of his throat. Matt let out a small groan of pleasure.

"That means you already have an in with the firm."

You squinted your eyes at Matt while he feigned innocence.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. I would love to have you there. We still have to discuss this with Foggy, but I think he'd be thrilled."

The earnestness in his voice was unconcealed. Working for Matt and Foggy was a tempting proposal, but you wanted to give it some thought first.

"Let me think about it."

The week started anew, with another visit from Jessica Jones. Only this time, you didn't cease your work pace, even as she walked past your desk. Jessica halted, looking at you skeptically.

"Why are you not stopping me right now? Did Hogarth call of her little guard dog?"

You looked up from your computer screen, giving her a nonchalant shrug.

"Nah, the order is still in effect. But I don't care."

The P.I gave you a nod and headed for Hogarth's office.

Before the workday ended, you were summoned by your fuming boss. Hogarth stood at her desk, a glass of whiskey clutched tight in her hand. She looked upon your entry, sneering at you.

"What part of preventing Jessica Jones from entering my office that you didn't understand? Do you —"

"I understand. I just don't care."

You dropped off the folder on Hogarth's desk. She narrowed her eyes at the manila envelope.

"This is my letter of resignation. I quit. I would say it was an honour to work with you, but that would be a lie."

You left the office that day feeling so much better than you had felt in months. There was a spring in your steps as you climbed the stairs to Matt's place. You walked in as an aroma of mouthwatering food being cooked engulfed you, welcoming you home. Matt was in the kitchen, facing the stove. You walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso. Matt lifted an arm over your shoulder, pulling you in to kiss your forehead. Then, he turned off the stove, fully angled his body to you and gave you a warm embrace.

"So you did it? How did she take it?"

"She was furious, Matt. She threatened to make sure I could never practice law ever again. Over and over. But I'm not worried. She can threaten me however she wants. I know the law."

"I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. You're better off without her. And if she dared to do that, you wouldn't be alone. Foggy and I will have your back."

You hugged him even tighter, pressing your ear to the steady rhythm of his heart. You stayed like that for a moment as the sound of Hell's Kitchen played in the background. Matt buried his nose into your hair, peppering your face with kisses. Then, at last, he spoke up.

"So, have you given more thoughts on working for Nelson & Murdock?"

You made a tsk sound, tapping a finger against your lips, pretending to be in deep thoughts.

"I don't know. Wouldn't it make quite a scandal since I'm dating one of the bosses?"

"Considering the other boss already knows about the arrangement, no one else has to. We can keep a secret -"

Matt dipped his head; his lips brushed over the curve of your ear purposefully. The mere contact sent a shiver down your spine in anticipation. Finally, he released the last part of his sentence; his voice dropped dangerously low, dripped in an alluring invitation.

"- and have fun with it."

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock x you #matt murdock imagine #matt murdock au #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fluff #marvel imagine #daredevil #daredevil x reader #daredevil au #daredevil imagine #daredevil fanfiction #cellophaine 100 followers event #no use of y/n

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from-the-clouds · 3 years

Text

Kiss Me More (Part IIII) - Zemo/Reader

Masterlist | Part One | Part Two | Part Three |

Summary: Reader ponders the decision they made after meeting Zemo in Riga. Series now complete!

Words: 5.2k

Warnings: Kissing, marijuana & alcohol abuse, heavy angst & depression, small reference to suicide, implied casual sex, yearning

A/N (also check out A/N at end when finished reading): This is it, everyone! I was going to end this completely differently originally, but after some thinking -- and some light peer pressure from ya’ll, I did something a little different. I did fight with this part the most out of all of them, so I hope it’s still good. Please enjoy. And thank you for all the love on this series, it’s been so fun to write! Also I was listening to this song while writing this.

---

The incessant buzz of her alarm clock jolted her out of her dreamless sleep. Fumbling in the dark, she slapped the top of it, hitting the snooze button and looking at the interface with bleary eyes.

4:00 A.M. It stared, indifferent, back at her tired face.

She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and lamenting, bargaining, half expecting the clock to turn back time when she opened her eyes again. Unfortunately, it did not. With a huff, she threw back the covers and stretched, disturbing the orange cat that slept in the empty spot next to her where her husband used to lay.

Snorting, the cat lifted its head to look at her as she climbed out of bed before curling back up in a ball where her feet had been.

“Don’t mind me, just getting ready for work so I can feed us,” she said, grumpily, then in a moment of repentance, affectionately scratching her behind the ears.

She had always been a night owl, so she didn’t think it would be possible to ever get used to waking this early. No human was meant to function at this time. It was the one part of the job she hated most. The rest of it was manageable, though it was still work.

Setting about her morning routine, she showered, made coffee, and donned her uniform. Eating a day-old bagel and nursing her coffee on her tiny balcony, she looked out over the darkened horizon. It was far too early to even enjoy a sunrise.

There was a saying, time heals all wounds. After her husband died, she’d heard it a lot. It was a saying she had come to find true. But it’d been well over a year since she’d left Helmut, alone in that swanky hotel room, and it still hurt like it was yesterday.

“I understand,” he’d murmured, and she felt the ghost of his kiss on her forehead, arms around her waist, even now. She shivered, not from the chill of the morning air.

She’d left her old life behind, all of it. Sam and Bucky, too, about a month after their time in Riga. She couldn’t look them in the eyes after what she’d done.

But, she was proud of what they’d accomplished. They’d defeated the Flag Smashers. Bucky seemed happier, more at peace. Sam had accepted his role as the new Captain America. John Walker seemed to have faded into irrelevancy. All the loose ends had been tied up in a pretty little bow.

Except for hers.

Which is why she moved, sold all the stuff in her tiny NYC apartment, and packed her car full with what she couldn’t bear to part with, some photos and momentos from a different lifetime. Her car didn’t stop until she hit the Atlantic Ocean, on an island just south of Charleston. All but undiscovered by tourists, the residents in the sleepy beach town kept to themselves, and she could go about her life in peace, undisturbed.

She couldn’t just run away from her problems, that was why she’d left Zemo. It seemed counterintuitive, but in her mind, it made sense. The problems would catch up to her, like they always had. The dissatisfaction she had with her life, with herself, was always going to return. And she knew she had to be alone to deal to face it head on. Like a wounded animal, crawling into the woods, there were only two ways things could end here; either she’d heal and come out stronger, or eventually she’d die. And so far, the healing part wasn’t going great.

Each day was a matter of convincing herself that she’d made the right choice. Especially now, as her eyes burned, fighting to stay open against the inviting embrace of sleep.

Despite it being dark outside, the bakery was bustling already when she walked in the service entrance. It smelled amazing, as always. Sweet and warm, a cacophony of aromas, baking bread, fresh coffee, sugar.

She set about the usual preparations to open up, packaging orders for the regulars, sweeping the floor, wiping down countertops. Once the place was open, she didn’t have to work the register, as she prepared batches of dough in the back for proofing, to be baked the next day.

Before, she’d been a terrible cook, but she’d grown comfortable in the kitchen after learning to bake. There was something satisfying about working with her hands, at this point she’d memorized all the recipes and the work became second nature to her. Now, she always had fresh bread and pastries in her kitchen, although they were the slightly disformed, ones the shop owners deemed too ugly for the glass display cases. Daylight was cherished, even if she barely saw it inside the shop. Because while she was awake, busy with work, her thoughts remained pleasant.

At night it was the hardest. Things got quiet, lonely. When she got home, she poured herself a drink. Cheap whiskey, the kind that came in a plastic bottle and burned on it’s way down. She had never been much of a drinker before, she was now. Her thoughts were more manageable after a drink. Especially because she was usually thinking of Helmut.

It was often that she wondered what he may be doing, and those thoughts usually ended with the image of him lying in the sun, poolside, on some island in the Pacific Ocean, drinking expensive champagne with a supermodel. It wasn’t a particularly comforting thought to her, and yet she was plagued by some variation of it every night.

Sometimes, she’d humor herself, and imagine what they might be doing had she decided to stay with him. Unfortunately, thinking of that was more upsetting. She wanted it, selfishly, though she wasn’t willing to admit it.

When she was younger, it had been so easy to block out the pain, to just press forward, no matter what. Much to her dismay, it didn’t get easier as she got older. Years of watching those she loved in pain, years of being in pain had taken a toll on her resilience. She wasn’t the strong woman she once was, she was weak.

That night, one drink had turned into two, into three. Wallowing in her own self-pity had become second-nature, she felt like Hamlet, lamenting her circumstances, a constant turmoil monologuing in her brain. But this night felt particularly worse, for some reason.

For the record, she had been doing better. But she was all-too-familiar with how grief worked, pulling her back down the dark side of the mountain, where she was forced to fight her demons over and over again. At some point, they were going to win.

It was a funny thing. Despite the loss of her husband, who she had loved dearly, his death had been easier to accept. Final. She couldn’t bring him back. Helmut on the other hand, was still out there, an open wound that could never fully heal.

Before she knew it, she was four drinks in, at her bedside table, fumbling through the bottom drawer, until she found what she was looking for.

Back on her couch, she stared at the card in her hand, the hastily written phone number on it, an international line. Helmut had given it to her, the day she left, stuck it in her purse while she wasn’t looking. She didn’t discover it until she had returned home.

It had been months since she last did this, pulled the card out of its hidden place in her drawer, placed it on the coffee table in front of her next to her phone, and considered dialing it. It had been a frequent occurrence when she first moved here, when she couldn’t find a job and spent most of her mornings either hungover, or stumbling home from rendezvous with men whose names she wouldn’t remember, and she wouldn’t care to, because there was only one man she really wanted. She could only hope he’d be as close as one call away. But she never called.

I mean really, he’d probably moved on by this point. If she was going to call, she should have done it months ago, when there was more of a chance that he’d give a fuck.

She considered this a setback. But she’d made her way halfway through the cheap bottle of whiskey, it was the drunkest she’d been in ages and she was curious. She didn’t know whose number it was, who’d be on the other end of the line, and never knew why Helmut would want her to have it to begin with.

At this point, she wasn’t capable of good decision making. In general, it hadn’t always been her strong suit. So why did doing the right thing matter now? It didn’t, she decided.

Taking a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle, she ensured she wouldn’t remember what happened next, at least not clearly.

The phone rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello?” she didn’t recognize the sound of the man on the other end of the line immediately, so she didn’t answer. All she had wanted to do was maybe hear Helmut’s voice, he didn’t even need to know it was her that was calling.

“Hello?” the man repeated, and she realized it wasn’t completely unfamiliar. The grandfatherly, comforting tone wasn’t her former lover, but someone close to him. And she supposed that wasn’t terrible.

“Is this Oeznik?” she asked.

“It is,” he said after some hesitation. “May I ask who’s speaking?”

Truthfully, she was shocked she’d allowed herself to go this far. This was a bad idea. If she stopped now she could get off without doing any real damage. But just as she was about to hang up, she heard her name, muffled, on the other end of the line.

“H-How do you know it’s me?” She raised the phone back to her ear.

“I thought you sounded familiar,” Oeznik chuckled, low and soft. “Helmut told me you might call.”

“He did?” she squeaked. “Yes, although it was awhile ago. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I uh….I….well….” she managed. “I guess I just….I guess I wanted to see how he was doing.” Her words flowed together like the liquor she was drinking, she knew she sounded drunk.

“Good, since we last spoke,” he said. “I don’t hear from him much these days...maybe every couple months. As you might imagine, he’s trying to keep a low profile for the time being.”

She nodded. Perhaps Zemo was as lonely as she was, hidden away in some cabin in the middle of nowhere. Though she had to imagine it looked much nicer than her current place, and maybe he had better company than a portly orange cat that begrudgingly liked him. “I understand.”

“How have you been?” he asked.

It sounded stupid, but she realized it was the first time someone had asked her that. Sincerely. Checked up on her. Even if she was the one who had dialed the number in the first place.

“I’m good,” her voice cracked. “Just keeping busy.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “Helmut always had such nice things to say about you.”

“Really?” she couldn’t stop herself.

“Of course, would you like me to let him know you called?”

“No, no...I wouldn’t want to bother him,” she choked on her words, something catching in her throat.

“Are you sure you’re alright, dear?”

“I’m okay, I just….” she felt tears prick at the back of her eyes, lowering her voice, since she didn’t think her normal register would come out as anything other than a whine. “I think I made a horrible mistake.”

“What’s the matter? What did you do?”

She shook her head, shaking the tears loose and now they were lining her lashes, threatening to spill over. However, she managed to make the next words she spoke come out clearly. “Nothing, I just...it’s really stupid, I really shouldn’t have called.”

He sighed on the other end of the line, and she felt like, despite her attempt at staying calm, he could still see that she wasn’t somehow. “It seemed Helmut was awfully sweet on you,” Oeznik’s words next came hesitantly, calculated. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but he told me if you ever called, to help you with whatever you might need, no matter the ask.”

Oh God, what had she done? A sob left her, one she couldn’t control, and she clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle any more. Her tears were flowing freely now, tracking down her cheeks and along her chin. She wiped at them clumsily, clearing her throat.

“That’s very kind of him, but you can’t help me. I’m so sorry to bother you, please just forget I even called,” she forced a smile on her face so that hopefully he could hear it. “Goodbye.”

She hung up, horrified, and within seconds had deleted the call log from her phone. She’d been thoughtful enough not to memorize the number, and the lighter she used whenever she smoked sat in front of her. Without a second though, she burned the card, watching the paper blacken and disintegrate, until it was all but a pile of soot on her Wal-Mart coffee table. It was a fair punishment, and ensured she’d never get the chance to embarrass herself like that again.

And then she cried, sobbed into a pillow next to her, until her tears ran dry and she wore herself out, falling asleep on the couch alone. When she’d wake the next morning, the only evidence of her actions would be a throbbing headache and a dead phone.

She wouldn’t remember the call.

----

Life went on, as it always did. It had been about a month, and since that night she grew more indifferent, remembered how to ignore heartbreak. For now, she was stuck in her purgatory, waking up before the sun and falling asleep before it set, smoking joints, drinking cheap liquor, and going on the occasional date with people who she didn’t really like, tourists who would leave after a week and wanted temporary company.

Despite everything, she partly believed things were getting better. Maybe they weren’t, but the possibility that someday they would seemed feasible. And that was enough, for now.

On her days off, she’d walk to the beach and lay on a blanket, reading a book until the sun dipped below the horizon and lit up the sky in hues of pinks and purples. She found a record player at an antique store and began collecting vinyls, listening to obscure artists whose albums she found in the $1 bin. It wasn’t so bad. Life wasn’t so bad.

She took a shower after work. Tomorrow was her off day, and she wasn’t sure what she had planned besides maybe watching a movie and getting stoned. Maybe she’d try going to the beach. The weather was getting warmer, and she could even go swimming if the water wasn’t too cold.

Exhausted from her day of work, she laid down in her bed, still in her robe, her hair wrapped in a towel around her head. The sun was setting outside, the windchimes she’d hung outside slowly clanging together, birds singing in the warm spring air. Her cat hopped on the bed, offered an affectionate trill and curled up at her side, purring, in a rare display of affection. A cool breeze drifted through the open window. And for the first time in over a year, she felt content. Closing her eyes, she savored the moment, committed it to memory, so she could recall it the next time she was drunk-crying in front of her TV.

She fell asleep slowly, so slowly that when she woke, startled by something in her kitchen clattering to the floor, it felt like she hadn’t even been sleeping at all. The clock next to her red 11:31 p.m. and it was pitch dark outside, the cool breeze from before had grown stronger and her bedroom curtains were billowing, wind whistling loudly through the apartment. Her cat had left her side, and she frowned, shivering in the sudden cold.

Pulling the towel off her head, she made her way over to the window with the intention to close it, sleepily, lazily, until she heard something else. A creak in the floorboard. A heavy footstep in her kitchen. That wasn’t just her cat.

Some kind of muscle memory was ignited then, an ancient instinct that called to her from a different lifetime. Darting across the room, the gun she kept was in her hand, stealthily pulled from its hiding spot beneath her mattress. Truth be told, she never thought she would’ve needed it. Anyone looking for her would be smart enough to kill her in her sleep, not be so foolish as to wake her first with their heavy footsteps.

A dark silhouette stalked through her kitchen, moving slowly. It was a man, she assumed, based on his broader figure, and lack of coordination. In her experience, women were often stealthier without trying. He took another step, the floor creaking below him, shuffling on bargain linoleum.

Staying low, she crept forward, ducking stealthily behind furniture, avoiding the spots on the floor she knew made noise. It didn’t appear the intruder had a weapon, in fact, it seemed he was bumbling about, searching for something. A burglar, and a bad one at that. An island full of vacation homes owned by rich doctors and they thought they’d find valuables in her shitty apartment?

It wasn’t until she was standing directly behind him, gun aimed at his head, that she finally spoke up.

“I believe you’ve come to the wrong place,” she said flatly. “Whatever you’re looking for, it’d be in your best interest to leave empty-handed.”

Her eyes were still adjusting to the dark, but the intruder froze, arms slowly raising in defeat, empty-handed, as he turned around to face her. In the dingy room, she couldn’t make out any of his features, could only see that he was clad in all black.

“Unfortunately, liebling, that wasn’t my intention.”

She would’ve recognized that voice anywhere, though the endearment he’d used was enough to clue her in. Hitting the lightswitch with her free hand, she was face to face with the man she’d spent the past year trying to purge from her memory, Helmut Zemo.

Her gut twisted, her mind raced, but the only thing currently bubbling up, over the surface of every other emotion was the pure, seething rage left behind in the wake of fearing for her life.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she stepped towards him, gun still raised, fuming.

“Hey, hey!” he staggered backwards, hands raised, eyes averted.

“I thought you were a fucking robber!” she hissed. “I thought you were here to kill me!”

“Lower your voice,” he scolded. “You’re going to wake your neighbors.”

Taking a deep breath, she realized she still had her gun trained on him and she lowered it, clicking the safety and discarding the weapon on the countertop. “What the fuck?” she asked. “What the hell is wrong with you? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I didn’t know you had such a mouth on you,” he smirked, but she wasn’t finished, and she glowered at him.

“You broke into my apartment!” she growled.

“I had to be sure I was in the right place.”

“Yeah? You couldn’t have knocked first?”

He nodded, eyes trailing down to her hands, which were trembling, she hadn’t even realized. He seemed to understand what he’d done then, and she flexed her fingers, eyes locking with his. “I suppose...you may be right,” he said, surrendering.

She felt the rage subsiding as she took in his appearance. He looked not so different from the last time she’d seen him, except a fair amount of stubble covered his jawline in a short beard. He was still devastatingly handsome. Zemo’s dark eyes, filled with longing, drank her in, tilting his head as his gaze shifted to her lips. It was like she could read his mind, she knew what he wanted, what he was thinking. And her body was going to betray her if he kept it up.

Despite everything, she was still upset. Upset and embarrassed, as the light was doing an unflattering expose of her tiny, cluttered apartment, full of mismatched furniture and water-damaged wallpaper that her landlord refused to replace. It probably gave the prison cells that Helmut had spent years in a run for their money, and was in stark contrast to every other aspect of his life.

“What’s this?” he asked, gesturing to the empty liquor bottles on her countertop, stowed in her trash can. “Have you been drinking?”

“Not tonight,” she quipped, on guard. Had to be. As much as some old instinct told her to throw herself into his arms, press her lips to the underside of his jaw, and let him envelope her in the comfort of his embrace, she knew she couldn’t.

“Hmm,” he brushed past her, frowning, looking disappointed, as he made his way to her living room.

“How did you find me?” she asked, eyeing him wearily.

“I’m a wanted man, I trace every call that comes into my estate,” he said over his shoulder.

Helmut was taking inventory of the cramped space, staring at the photos she’d hung in a collage on the wall behind her couch, with a few watercolors painted by her late husband. One in particular, that he was focused on now, was from her wedding. Of all the memories she chose to hang, this one was her fondest, her former partner was all dark curly hair falling into deep blue eyes, and she was the portrait of a blushing bride, wearing a dopey love-drunk smile, gazing at him, ignoring the camera.

“You looked so beautiful on your wedding day,” he said, turning over his shoulder to look at her. He was so out of place here, standing in her living room, for a moment she thought he might be a hallucination, some physical manifestation of the heartbreak she’d experienced. “Although that doesn’t surprise me.”

She flushed, suddenly self-conscious in her thin black robe and still-damp hair. It occurred to her that she wasn’t looking her best, which made this whole situation that much more disconcerting. However, the compliment disarmed her slightly, and the anger she felt began to dissipate, slowly. She was going to offer him something to drink until her cat, who had been absent through the chaos, suddenly jumped up on the back of the couch and promptly hissed at him in an attempt to defend her territory.

“Pumpkin, be nice,” she said, although it was mostly to placate Helmut. Pumpkin never listened to her.

Helmut let her sniff his hand, and she was stunned when the cat rubbed her face against it. Of course, Pumpkin would like him of all people. That made sense. Then again, she supposed it made them not so different. He turned away to look at the rest of the room. “I see you haven’t kicked that bad habit you told me about,” he gestured at the ashtray full of roaches on the coffee table.

“Did you just come to my place to insult me?” she asked, putting her hands on her lips and feigning confidence. She could’ve rolled over and cried and told him how much she missed him, how many nights she’d spent crying over him, and while all of it was true, she felt indignation was the better option for her self-preservation.

“That’s a good question,” Helmut turned to face her now, hands in the pockets of the leather jacket he was wearing. Completely inappropriate for the weather here, but he didn’t seem to notice, or care. “Why do you think I’m here?” he asked.

She shrugged, feigning indifference. “I don’t know, but you shouldn’t be.”

He snorted, his frustration evident, and she saw a glimpse of the man that so many feared, the side that had earned him his dangerous reputation, that had him locked away in a high-security prison for nearly a decade. “I didn’t come all this way for nothing, draga, we’re going to have it out.”

“Fine,” she said, lacing as much venom as she could into her words to prepare herself. “Then get on with it.”

He stared her down, and the expression her wore startled her, something sparkled in his eyes, mischief, relief maybe? It was insulting. Like he didn’t take her seriously. But there was something else there, too, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but it was wiped from his visage before it registered.

The tension in the room dissipated slightly when Zemo sat on the arm of the worn couch she’d bought from a yard sale, and she winced. “I spoke to Oeznik the other day,” he said flatly, snorting, eyes focused on a stain on one of the rugs she owned. “He told me he had the pleasure of speaking to a friend of mine about a month ago.”

Frowning, she tilted her head, her eyes meeting Helmut’s. Something in her brain sparked a memory she’d once dismissed as a dream after a particularly bad night of drinking.

“He was concerned, you see, because this friend didn’t seem to be in the best state of mind,” Helmut rose from the arm of the couch, stalking forward slowly, and she couldn’t move backwards, not even if she wanted to, as he could pin her easily against the front door. His voice grew louder, faster as he went on. “He said she was crying, slurring her words, he told me he thought maybe she might be-” Helmut cut himself off abruptly and closed his eyes, clenching one of his fists, a look of distress on his face as he took in a terse breath. “I won’t finish that thought, but you’re a smart girl, you can imagine what I’m getting at.”

Swallowing hard, the phone call came back to her in pieces, the tears, sobbing on the phone to a man she hardly knew. It was the night she finally admitted to herself she’d made a mistake, even though she’d already known it, deep down when she left him in the hotel room.

“Please forgive me for breaking in tonight,” Helmut said. “But I couldn’t bear the thought of you not answering the door, I needed to see with my own eyes that you were okay.”

Exhaling through her nose, she looked at the floor. “It’s not like that. I had too much to drink.” she said, keeping her voice as steady as possible. “It was just a bad night.”

“Then tell me, what was the horrible mistake you made?” he asked, stepping closer. He was close to her, now. So close. And his proximity made everything more difficult.

God, if only she could remember exactly what she’d said, the only thing that came to her were the emotions, desperation, sadness, grief. It was all too much, and he was threatening to bring them all back to destroy her again.

“I shouldn’t have called,” she said, shaking her head. “And I’m sorry. What do you want me to say? What do you want from me?”

“What do I want from you?” He asked, tilting his head, his eyebrows pulling together. “Do you have any idea how worried I was? How hard it was to sit on a plane when all I wanted to do was be here? With you?” His hand rose to cup her cheek, stopping just short of her face when she flinched away from his touch.

“Please stop,” she managed, the burn of tears behind her eyes almost menacing. The last thing she needed was to cry in front of him. “You’re undoing everything.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“You’re….you’re here,” she murmured weakly, wetness seeping, glossing over her pupils. “I only have so much capacity for pain right now, if you touch me now, you’ll ruin everything.”

No one ever had this kind of hold on her, she’d never bent her rules to appease anyone else, and she’d gone toe to toe with super soldiers. He was just a man, and yet, he terrified her.

“You really want me to leave?”

She couldn’t answer, but one tear escaped, sliding down her cheekbone, and she sniffled.

“I’m not the one who did this to you,” his thumb, swiped along her face gently, wiping it away. He’d touched her, just barely, and she was reeling.

“I know,” she stuttered, gasping. “I know it was me, but I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“You are so stubborn.” His expression softened as he looked upon her, his thumb tracing underneath her jaw, tilting her head upwards to look at him. Malleable, she obliged. “I’ve thought about you everyday since the night we spent together. You’ve plagued me. That can’t be a coincidence. Are you really happier this way? You must be honest with me.”

She shook her head, blinking out fresh tears. “No, I’m not. I just thought...by the time I realized I made the wrong choice, you’d have moved on. People like us don’t get to be happy.”

“Says who?”

How could she refuse him anymore? This would continue to go on until she gave in. And from the beginning, she wanted to give in. There was no use in fighting the inevitable. The small point of contact -- his hand on her chin -- radiated impressive warmth, and she could feel every part of herself being attracted to him, quelling some ache deep within her.

Reaching up, she clutched at Helmut’s palm, which didn’t last long, because he pulled her into his arms, nestling her head underneath his chin. She melted into his embrace, finding solace in the warmth of his solid frame.

“Come home with me,” he coaxed softly.

“I will,” she murmured, surrendering to the comfort of his presence. “But you have to let me bring Pumpkin.”

He chuckled, warm and amiable, the vibration of his chest echoing in her own. “Of course, you’ll bring Pumpkin,” he murmured into her hair. Oh, how she had missed hearing him laugh. They could’ve stayed that way for hours, and she would’ve been content, but he pulled away, hands on either side of her face as he studied her.

Unable to hold back any longer, she leaned in to kiss him. It was chaste at first, all the memories of her last night with him came flooding back quickly when he parted his lips to deepen the kiss, but she didn’t want that quite yet, just needed a moment to process this. The simple comfort of being held by him, kissed by him, was more than enough for now. He’d been waiting for this, she could assume in the way that he responded, pulling her impossibly close so she was engulfed in him.

Her stomach flipped, a warmth blossoming in her chest as he pulled away, their foreheads touching. “Oh, I missed you,” she sighed, shivering as his beard tickled her neck, his mouth on her sensitive skin.

“And I, you,” he murmured. His eyes studied her, carefully, up close, and for the first time since meeting him, she really let him see her, teary-eyed and vulnerable.

She would never let him go again.

---

A/N: So here we are! I know it’s been a ride, but I’m really excited for these two. However, I don’t feel like I’m done writing for Zemo yet. If ya’ll have any headcanons, thoughts, questions, requests, etc, feel free to drop them in my ask box or shoot me a DM. I’d love to talk more about him. I also would be down to write more oneshots based around this series, because I am sort of like….okay, they obviously have a connection, but they don’t know that much about each other, and I may or may not have a light future already mapped out for them. I might do an epilogue at some point even. But if you have anything you’d like to add, let me know!

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jpedrobpascal · 3 years

Text

Hotel Rooms

You and Spencer find comfort in one another after a particularly difficult case.

Spencer Reid x F! reader smut

Warnings: NSFW (18+, minors DNI), oral sex (F receiving), protected penetrative sex

Word count: 2k

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The SUV was quiet as you all drove back to the hotel. Morgan was in the driver’s seat, knuckles turning white as they ringed against the steering wheel. JJ sat by his side in the passenger seat, quickly wiping tears as they fell from her eyes. Spencer sat behind her, head back and eyes closed. He appeared to be sleeping - but you could tell by his breathing, the twitching of his fingers, the way he moved himself around - he was still wide awake. You sat behind Morgan, head against the window, glancing between your colleagues in the silence.

The case didn’t end well, the unsub killing his final victim and then himself. Endings like this were few and far between, fortunately, but when they did happen, they took a toll on everyone.

You listened to the gravel crunch beneath the car tires as Derek pulled into the parking lot. He turned off the car, quickly getting out and grabbing his go bag from the trunk without a word. You, Spencer, and JJ followed, quietly piling into the elevator.

The doors creaked open and the three of you walked out, JJ turning right as you and Reid turned left.

“Night guys,” JJ muttered over her shoulder. You mustered as kind a smile as you could as Spencer offered a small wave.

The two of you shuffled down the hall, waiting as you heard the door to JJ’s room open and shut.

You each stopped in front of your respective doors, which happened to be right next to each other’s.

You waited, slowly pulling out your keycard as Spencer opened his door.

Fuck it.

“Do you want to come in?” You asked the question before you lost the courage, turning to face the man to your right.

You could see his eyes light up briefly, his hand reaching out to pull his hotel room door closed.

“Yes please,” he whispered, walking over to you as you opened the door.

You and Spencer had been dancing around each other ever since you joined the BAU a few short months ago. You frequently ended up in one another’s hotel rooms, curled up in bed watching TV, one of you always “accidentally” falling asleep. You had shared chaste kisses in the middle of the night, ending with you grinding on top of him with his hands on your ass.

It had never gone farther than that, though. You were only a few years older than Spencer, 27 to his 24. You had little to no experience when it came to anything sexual, having only had a few drunken hook ups in college.

It was well-known to everyone on the team that Spencer had no such experience; being a child prodigy throughout his formative years having stunted his opportunity for sexual experiences.

All that being said, you never wanted to push the matter.

But something in the air tonight cracked.

As soon as the door was closed your hands were in Spencer’s hair, his grabbing onto your hips and pulling you into him as you kissed. He walked you backwards toward the bed, you struggling to keep your mouths together as you stood on your tip toes.

You sat down once your legs hit the bed, detaching your mouth from his as you hastily undid the buttons on his shirt. He reached for the bottom of your sweater, pulling it over your head, groaning at the sight of your breasts pushed up in a dull pink bra. His mouth attached to one of your breasts, pushing you to lie down as he laid on top of you, a groan leaving your mouth as he sucked hickies into your skin.

You felt his hands sneaking around your back and you arched up, surprised by how quickly he unhooked and removed your bra with just one hand. He quickly threw the bra across the room, hands coming to knead your breasts as you kissed.

You were breathless, hearing his soft groans as he rutted himself up against you.

“Spencer please.” The words were out of your mouth before you could think of even saying them.

He pulled back from you; eyes glossy, lips red, hair tussled. You felt your cheeks heaten up as you watched him look you up and down, licking his lips.

“Can I – ” he paused, swallowing and attempting to steady his breathing.

“Can I fuck you tonight, Y/N?”

You nodded vigorously, an involuntary whine leaving your throat as you bucked your hips up into his.

Spencer smiled, a light laugh leaving his lips as he looked down at you. You smiled back, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of his face.

“I don’t…I haven’t really done this much,” he explained, pulling back from you to start taking his pants off.

“Me neither,” you giggled, picking up your hips to removed your pants as well, leaving you both in your underwear.

“Can I…use my mouth first? I know how important it is to help you reach orgasm so once we get to the penetration it’s a bit more comfortable for – “

“Spencer.” You cut off his rambling, taking his hand and letting his fingers travel down the front of your underwear.

You heard his breath hitch in his throat as he felt how wet you are, fingers quickly finding a rhythm against your clit.

“Fuck,” you whispered, head falling back against the mattress and eyes closing as your thighs tightened around his arm. He quickly moved two fingers down, pushing them inside of you with ease. You opened your eyes as you heard him whimper, watching him bite down on his lip.

“Spencer.”

His eyes shot open as you said his name, your legs wrapping around his waist to bring him closer to you. You sat up, removing his fingers from inside of you. He watched as you sucked on his fingers, eyes going wide at the site. You scooted yourself closer to the edge of the bed, grinding yourself up against his cock.

Spencer’s hips faltered, his hands going down to either side of you on the bed to keep himself standing. You giggled, causing him to look up at you with a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” he asked with a smile, one of his hands running through his hair.

“Nothing, I just…can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“Do you want to stop? We can stop if you changed your mind or – “

“Spencer.”

You said his name as you sat up, pulling him towards you by the waistband of his underwear.

“I want to do this,” you said, maintaining eye contact with him as your hand traveled down the front of his boxers. You felt his whole body shudder as you took him in your hand, thumb circling the head of his dick.

Spencer quickly reached down to remove his underwear, you crawling backwards on the bed to do the same.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered, crawling up over your body. You didn’t have time to protest as you felt him drag his fingers through your wetness.

“Do you have…”

“Front pocket of my suitcase,” you answered. Spencer scurried over to your suitcase, quickly pulling out a condom. You watched as his hands shook as he tried to put it on.

“Here,” you said, sitting up to roll the condom over his hard cock. You moved to lay yourself back down, taking his hand to lead him back on top of you. He watched you with complete adoration in his eyes as you led his cock inside of you.

You hissed when he was halfway inside, trying to adjust to his size.

“Do you need me to stop?” Spencer asked.

“No just…give me a minute,” you breathed, laying back to relax yourself. After a minute or so you nodded your head yes, Spencer continuing to push himself into you with a groan.

“Fuck Y/N,” he said, dropping his head down to your neck, sucking kisses into your skin.

“Spencer please,” you whispered into his ear, wrapping your legs around him to pull him even closer into you. He quickly moved his hand down to your clitoris, rubbing circles against it as your breath hitched. He fucked himself into you at the same time, your mouth falling open as you tugged at his hair.

“I’m sorry if I don’t last long, I…” Spencer tried to finish his sentence, but you could tell he was overwhelmed and so focused on what his body was doing that his mind couldn’t keep up.

“It’s okay. Cum in me, please,” you whined.

Spencer growled into your ear, fingers moving faster against your clit as his dick reached further inside of you.

You gasped, trying to stay quiet. Sure, JJ’s room was all the way down the hall, but you knew if you let yourself get loud you wouldn’t be able to stop. You made a mental note to save that for next time.

Would there be a next time?

“Y/N,” Spencer said as you felt him faltering inside of you.

“It’s okay, Spence. Let go.”

Spencer immediately followed your command, releasing inside of you. You noticed he bit down hard on his lip in an attempt to keep himself quiet. He spent a few minutes with his head against your breasts, recollecting himself. You ran your fingertips up and down his back, gently scratching.

After a few minutes Spencer looked up at you through glossy eyes, looking almost…apologetic?

“I didn’t make you climax,” he said, almost a pout on his lips.

“It’s fine, I’m used to it,” you laughed. You watched then as he (very determinedly) got off the bed, going into the bathroom to throw away the condom. When he returned, he kissed your ankle, slowly moving his body up as he kissed his way up your leg. When he got to your thighs, he started leaving little bites, causing you to yelp. You felt rather than saw him smirk against your skin.

“Fuck,” you said, fingers tangling into his curls. He looked up at you as he stopped over your center, his breath causing your legs to shake.

He smirked and he lowered his head, licking a stripe up your folds before quickly attaching his mouth to your clit. One of your hands slapped over your mouth as your legs closed around his head. He ran his hands through his hair, keeping it out of his way as he sucked and licked your clit. You felt your legs start to shake, your orgasm approaching you more quickly than it ever had before with a man.

“Spencer I’m – I’m gonna – ” you tried to get the words out through the haze of pleasure covering you. Hearing you stumble over your words caused him to groan, the feeling against you being enough to reach your climax.

Spencer didn’t let up as you were cumming, continuing to eat your out with just as much fervor as he had been. You pulled at his hair and he wrapped his arms around your leg and hips in response, keeping your body firm against the bed.

As your orgasm finally let up Spencer pumped two fingers inside of you, his mouth continuing its assault on your clit. Before you could even realize what was happening you were cumming again, whimpering as your body went limp, unable to feel anything but your orgasm tearing through you.

This time Spencer removed his fingers, sitting back as he wiped the evidence of both of your orgasms from his face. You felt your body sinking into the bed, eyes closing as you felt the mattress move. You felt Spencer wrap his arms around you, holding you against him from behind as he pulled the blankets up over you both.

“Was that good?” he asked, placing a kiss against your temple.

You turned over to face him, a goofy grin painted across your face.

“Better than good,” you mumbled, leaning over to kiss him. You curled up on his chest, the two of you falling asleep within seconds.

When you woke the next morning, Spencer was no longer beside you, a note on the pillow in his stead.

“Thank you for last night. Wanted to get out before the team noticed. Let’s do this again at my place when we’re back home. – S”

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #reid x reader #reid x reader smut #spencer reid imagine #reid imagine

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moonagedaydreamohyeah · 3 years

Note

Hi!! Welcome back! I saw you'retaking prompts, so I hope it's okay for me to send a lil one 🥺 I have this idea where Bucky has nightmares constantly, and they get so bad he can't wake up. So after a couple of weeks, he's barely holding on, Steve tries something though. And now wherever he has a nightmare, he grabs his hand, to soothe him while telling him various memories of them, their wedding, their childhood. It works, Bucky calms down eventually and then wakes up. Telling Steve his dream shifted at a certain point and stopped being scary. I had this idea but I truly cannot write at all, if you choose to do it (it's totally fine if you don't though) I know you'll do a great job! Tysm

Hii Nonnie! Thank you soo so much for your prompt, I’m sorry it took so long! Here it is though, it turned out pretty long but I hope you like it!!🙏🌼💗

Trigger warnings for some angst and trauma related stuff and a close-to panic attack - I promise it gets fluffy before long☺️

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The first thing Steve registered as he slowly became aware of his surroundings was the darkness of their room, suggesting that it was nowhere close to being morning yet.

He slowly blinked his eyes open and as he reached his hand out he came in contact with heated and sweat-clammy skin at the same time as he heard the tell-tale whimpering sounds from beside him, which instantly alerted to the cause of him having woken up in the first place.

As he sat up and turned the lamp at his bedside on, Steve looked at the distressed face of his boyfriend, at the way that his hands are opening and closing around the sheet in tight fists as if battling through a pain that was only a memory, but probably felt just as fresh and real as the approaching dawn.

Running a hand tiredly over his face, Steve suspected the bone deep exhaustion which is the product of almost two weeks of sleepless nights, for the fact that he didn’t realise what was happening the moment he stirred into wakefulness.

Steve took a deep breath in a lost effort to gather himself for what appeared to be another sleepless night with Bucky reliving the worst moments of his life while Steve sat helplessly beside him, unable to wake him up from the horror he was reliving and bring him back to reality.

When this specific brand of night terrors had first started, Steve had gone through any and all means that he and Bucky could come up with to wake him up, finding that not one of them was enough to tear Bucky from the deep sleep he was caught up in and the painful memories that came with it.

It wasn’t like nightmares were any kind of new experience for either of them, which of course couldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. They had both experienced stuff that would bring anyone nightmares, and Bucky’s mind especially only had to dig through what seemed like a bottomless pile of more than 70 years incomparable trauma and replay it, whenever it wanted to procure night terrors of the kind that would have most people opt for never sleeping again, if it meant they didn’t have to relive it - which is what Bucky would have preferred too, if it wasn’t for his therapist having put him on a strict sleeping schedule and medication to ensure that he would actually sleep within those set times, in a sympathetic voice ensuring him that the only road to recovery was through.

Usually the other would be there to wake up whomever of them were unlucky enough to run into a nightmare bad enough to wake the other up, and they would be able to hold each other until they could talk it out and eventually go back to sleep, until they were ready to go back to sleep.

They even had a ritual set up for the really bad ones. They would put on a pot of coffee and have a cup each, indulging in plenty of cream and sugar and drink them while watching an episode or two of Steven Universe on the TV.

As none of that was something they’d gotten to enjoy before waking up in the 21’st century, due to rationing and what not, that usually brought them had suffered right back to reality, reminding them that they had both escaped the pain of the past, and were now back together in the somewhat peaceful life they had managed to create for themselves in this new time and place.

But since these particular nightmares had started, none of that had been of use anymore. No matter what Steve tried, Bucky simply wouldn’t wake up and all Steve could do was sit helplessly by his side while the whimpers and cries for help rose in volume,

That didn’t stop Steve from trying though. Reaching out to try and shake Bucky out of it, Steve tried to keep the desperation out of his voice as he spoke.

“Bucky, baby, come on wake up. You’re dreaming sweetheart, you aren’t there anymore, you’re right here with me, all you gotta do is wake up.”

As he’d come to expect though, it was no use. If anything, the nightmare only seemed to be intensifying, if the full body shiver and increasingly loud whimpers of pain was anything to go by. Steve could feel his voice wavering as he shook him a little harder while he tried to speak over the devastating sounds coming from his love.

“Bucky, please. C’mon, baby, wake up. Sweetheart.”

It was when Bucky, still not showing any signs of waking up, let out a loud, high pitched cry of ‘please, no, no more, no more please, it hurts!’ that Steve suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. His breath hitched as the sob he’d been trying to hold back suddenly tore from his throat and without thinking, he was throwing the covers off and leaping out of their shared bed and into the living room where he braced himself on the back of the couch and took in gasping breaths as he tried to control the sobs that kept coming.

As his breathing only picked up the pace, Steve felt himself steer into what would no doubt become a full blown panic attack if he didn’t get a hold of himself. He slid down to sit the floor and placed his between his knees while back and forth to eight in his in a last ditch effort to slow his breathing; ‘breathe in for eight, and then out for eight’ he recited in his head.

Finally feeling his breathing start to even out, he remembered something that Mary-Ann, Bucky’s therapist, had stressed in one of their shared sessions;

‘You can’t cure another person’s pain or trauma, and the minute you catch yourself trying or beating yourself up over not being successful in doing so, you’re only making the situation worse by creating more pain for yourself along side with the pain your loved one is already in. Working through this stuff is only something you can do for yourself. The best you can do is be by their side to support them through it and try to diminish the strain of negative thoughts and other practical stuff that takes energy away from the effort that it takes to get better.’

Bucky and Steve both had trauma to work through, and figuring out to best help each other without putting too much strain on themselves and taking on the other’s struggles as well, had been a difficult balance to achieve when they had first been brought back to each other. But through therapy and conversations they had managed to get into a pretty good rhythm when it came to balancing their relationship and everyday life which all the baggage they each brought into it, by being there for each other in the best way possible.

That didn’t mean it wasn’t still hard sometimes, and these nightmares had taken a serious toll on both of them, so it wasn’t any wonder that Steve was at his limit. Had it only taken out on the nights, that would have been a different thing. But Bucky had been restless and tired in the day too, often staring off into the distance seemingly caught up in his own head. Steve, having been kept up by Bucky’s nightmares, had slowly felt the weight of Bucky’s struggles and the overall gloomy mood in their shared home, become to much to bear with his sparring energy resources.

Reminding himself once again of Mary-Ann’s words, Steve tried to shake off the feeling of inadequacy as he slowly got up from the floor. ‘The only way to get past this is through,’ he thought decisively, ‘and we will get through it.’

Even though Steve suddenly couldn’t bear to not be by Bucky’s side for one more moment, he opted to take a quick detour into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water, before he braces himself and returned to the bedroom.

By now whatever Bucky was reliving had sent him into a state of thrashing around on the sheets, throwing the covers halfway off to reveal his sweat soaked shirt, accompanied the sound of pleading, painful sounding whimpers that bordered on sobs.

Sitting himself back on the bed, Steve used one hand to grab a firm hold of Bucky’s that was now clutching the sheet hard enough that it was a wonder he hadn’t torn a hole in it yet, and started rubbing soothing circles over the back while he smoothed Bucky’s hair away from his sweaty face. Steve took a deep breath to collect himself before he started talking in a soothing voice.

“It’s okay, Buck, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere sweetheart” He didn’t know if he was still talking to Bucky or mostly trying to convince himself, when he continued, “I can’t take the pain away, but I can at least be here by your side through it, huh? Just like your Mary-Ann told us: that’s all I can do, and I’ll do it sweetheart, I’ll stay right here. I’m sorry I had to leave for a little while, but I promise I’m here now, okay? Just like you were always right there for me.”

Thinking back to the first of those awful winters when Steve had been so sick that not one doctor dared reassure his ma that he would be sure to pull through, Steve continued in that same, low voice, mostly just thinking out loud by now. He almost didn’t notice that Bucky’s whimpers had toned down a little bit and the thrashing was starting to calm down again into those god awful full body shivers.

“I guess I know how you felt now, going though those winters back then, huh? Oh god, how awful that must have been for you, baby, I get that now, don’t I? Sitting there, unable to do a damn thing but always reassuring me that I would get through even when everyone else doubted it. You always stayed, and I swear baby, that must’ve been what got me through at least the half of it.” Steve had to breath in deep again to keep the emotion out of his voice.

“Remember that first winter? We can’t have been that old, maybe nine or ten I think..” Steve mused, caught up in the memories. “Yeah, that must’ve been it. I remember ‘cause we had been playing all day out in the rain and we didn’t even notice how cold it was. Your ma gave us such an earful when we came home, soaked through and teeth chattering. I remember her going at us while we stood in the bathroom, naked as the day we were born and shivering, while she got the bath ready. She had that voice on, the one she used when we’d been exceptionally stupid”, Steve scoffed quietly. “‘You boys, I swear,’ she would always say, ‘it’s barely forty degrees outside and you run around in the rain like that; you’ll get sick, that’s for sure. You boys don’t think we have better things to spent all our hot water on?’ and I remember her voice soften when she told us, ‘you gotta take better care of yourselves, especially you Steve, with how skinny you are.’ I think she was probably more worried than mad though. God, I miss your ma sometimes. She was such a wonderful woman. Always had a thing or two to say about the shenanigans we got up to, but you could always tell she wasn’t really all that mad. She was right too, of course. I spent the entire winter in bed, doing my best to cough up half a lung while you sat by my side with that determined look on your face, like you were prepared to fight off death himself if he ever even thought of bothering to show up.”

By now Bucky was visibly calming down, the only signs of distress being the furrow of his brow and the occasional clenching and unclenching of the fist that Steve wasn’t holding onto, so Steve kept talking in the hope that that was what was finally doing the trick.

“And you never let me go out after that, without being practically bunched up in a hundred layers, even if it meant you had to freeze your balls off.” Steve chuckled to himself, suddenly recalling a very fond memory. “Oh, and then when it finally got hot outside again and we were out playing - we were with that girl, what was her name again..” Steve thought back, trying to remember. “- Laurel? Loraine? You know, the one with the pretty curls you were always pulling at when her family sat in front of us in church and no one was looking. Anyway, you found that penny on the ground and decided you were gonna buy us ice cream cones, but of course one penny turned out to only be enough for one. And I remember the look on her face when you said I should have it, god, she was so disappointed. But I had lost weight from being sick all winter and I was even skinnier than usual, and you were all like ‘look at him, he needs fattening up, it’s only fair, here you go Stevie, you have it’ and you wouldn’t hear any complaints about it.”

Steve was brought back from his reminiscing by Bucky rolling over onto his back and letting out a small sigh, any signs of the nightmare having disappeared from his features. Steve was flooded with relief as he smiled down at him and continued softly. “It was all there, right in front of my face, even back then, wasn’t it? I can’t believe I spent all those years being jealous of all the ladies who were always keen on dancing with you when we went out. You only ever had eyes for me, huh?”

Steve startled at the sound of Bucky’s sleep rough mumble. “‘Course, you punk”

Squeezing his hand, Steve checked to make sure he had heard right. “Bucky? Hey, you awake honey?”

Bucky squeezed back, letting out a grumbled “Mmh.. wha’s going on, why’re you up?” but he seemed to quickly rise from his sleepy state at Steve’s choked “oh thank god”

“Hey, Steve what’s wrong, huh? Look at me, what happened? You have a nightmare or somethin’”? Bucky asked, wiping away a single tear of pure relief that had apparently escaped and was trailing down Steve’s left cheek. His look of worry turned into one of realisation though, when it dawned on him. “Oh shit, it was me having a nightmare again huh? It happened again, didn’t it? Aww I’m sorry Stevie.”

“No no, please don’t apologise,” Steve hurried to reassure him. “It’s not your fault Buck. I’m just so relieved you’re back with me. It’s just hard, you know? Seeing you in that much pain and not being able to do a thing about it,” Steve sniffled.

“Yeah, I know Stevie, I know.” Bucky expression briefly shifted to one of confusion. “How’d you wake me up? I thought we’d practically tried everything by now.”

“I didn’t, at first,” Steve said, “I just starting talking to you and then when it seemed to calm you down a bit I kinda just kept going with like, talking about memories that came up, you know from back when we were kids.”

“Oh yeah.” Bucky furrowed his brows in thought. “I don’t really remember what the nightmare was about, only that it was awful and then the dream sort of.. shifted. Something about my ma giving us an earful and then something about ice cream cones and brown curls?” Bucky’s face shifted, as if he’d remembered something funny. “God, you remember that time I found that penny? And that girl, Loraine I think, she got so mad when I bought you ice cream instead of her,” Bucky chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s the story I was telling,” Steve smiled. “To be fair, that was kind of dick move, Barnes. Ain’t no way to treat a lady.”

“Hey! You were so skinny! You clearly needed it more than her!” Bucky defended himself. “And by the way, it wasn’t exactly her I was trying to impress.” Bucky said, waggling his eyebrows.

Steve snorted. “Yeah, alright, you’re a real charmer.”

“Don’t you know it,” Bucky said. Smiling more softly, he leaned in so his forehead was resting against Steve’s. “I’m really sorry for waking you up honey. It sucks that you have to be here through all that Stevie, I know it ain’t easy on you.”

“Nah,” Steve answered. “I’m right where I want to be. Till the end of the line and all that, remember? Not planning to go anywhere”

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed softly, and then in an almost whisper, sounding suddenly vulnerable, “I love you so much, Stevie.”

Sensing that Bucky was finally feeling some of the raw emotion that was left over from the nightmare he’d just endured, now that he knew that Steve was okay, Steve lifted up to plant a lingering kiss on his forehead. Rubbing a hand soothingly up and down Bucky’s back, he noted that his t-shirt was still soaked from sweat. “Me too, Buck. Me too. Hey, why don’t I go make a pot of coffee and turn the TV on and you come join me once you’ve cleaned up a little?”

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed, burying himself a bit closer into Steve’s embrace before pulling away and offering a grateful smile. “That sounds good.”

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adorerdraco · 4 years

Text

Distractions and O.W.L.S ✧ Draco x Reader

Summary: You start neglecting yourself and Draco when you begin stressing for O.W.L.S. The studying finally took its toll on you that landed you in the hospital wing but Draco helps you end the night on a good note.

Warnings and Perks: being stressed, over studying, fainting ! and corniness

Words: 2K (sorry for any mistakes its 3 AM !!!!!)

A/N: omg i am currently working on some requests and on Healing Heart 4, but i’ve had this scenario stuck in my head all night bc i was listening to a slowed down version of stuff we did from UP and so i thought id share it with everyone since i havent posted in like 2 days <3 do not own gif but pretend that you and Dracoooo <3

It was the beginning of June, weeks away from O.W.L.S, which meant weeks away from another ending of a school year at Hogwarts. What bothered you the most wasn’t the fact that you had homework piled up to the ceilings, or that Snape has been snapping at you all week and took away 5 house points from you, or that you were drowning in a sea of textbooks and notes that you kept studying for your upcoming exams; it was the fact that you had barely seen Draco in nearly two weeks. You were so busy with schoolwork and focused on getting outstanding marks, you hadn’t even realized you were neglecting your own boyfriend.

Of course, the two of you would find each other in the Great Hall during breakfast and you’d give him a quick hello and goodbye kiss faster than he could even register what was happening and by the time he did, you were already out the door and rushing towards your first class. At this point, you were acting like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, always frantic and in a rush. Your hair was wild and untamed, you had dark bags under your eyes from the all-nighters you were pulling, your robes and clothes underneath were in disarray and wrinkled.

To make it worse, you never let Draco study with you. He constantly asked and you always gave him the same answer.

“If I study with you, I’ll never get anything done.”

Which was true. He was very distracting with his quiet jokes in the library, or when he would look up at you with his sparkling gray eyes when you would try to ask him a question that just flew from your mind at the sight, or smile at you with a wide toothy grin that lit up the room when you got sidetracked and talked to him, or the way he rested his hand on your thigh when he would sit beside you while you quietly read or wrote but the only thing you could focus on was his fiery touch. Really, it wasn’t him who would distract you; it was you who distracted yourself with him. And that was evident when you tried to remember everything you’ve learned in the past school term and came up blank because for some reason your brain only retained information and memories that contained Draco throughout the past year.

So you figured a little time away from him wouldn’t hurt. Because if you didn’t pass these O.W.L.S, you felt like everyone would be disappointed in you, especially yourself. So you locked yourself away in your dorm and crammed and jam-packed your brain with information until you eventually passed out hunched over a book with drool blurring the ink on your pages. You avoided the library for studying, knowing Draco would go looking for you or Madam Pince would distract you halfway through your note taking to kick you out for the night.

Mornings always came the same, you waking up randomly over your desk a few minutes before breakfast and changing into a new pair of robes as quickly as you could while trying your best to smooth your hair down with your hands. This morning was different, however. You woke up to one of your roommates shaking you violently while she spoke your name loudly above you, but it sounded distant. You shot up in a hot flash, wiping your mouth of any saliva and groaning when you started to feel the pounding in your head that seemed to shake up your whole brain. “Thank Merlin, you’re awake!” Your roommate exclaimed in relief. “You looked dead, honestly. But class is starting in twenty and you’ve missed breakfast.”

“Twenty?” you frown, letting your swelling head fall into your hands. “I don’t want to deal with Snape right now, I feel awful.”

“I’m going to try to say this as nice as possible,” she sighs, placing a hand on your shoulder, “but it shows.”

“Thanks,” you scowl. You try to get up from your chair but gasp in pain as your muscles cramp at the movement like a rickety old man.

“Maybe you should go to Madam Pomfrey,” she suggests, trying to help you up but you shoo her.

“No, I’m fine,” you rush to interject. “I will not be missing Potions, no.”

She gave you a shrug, backing away in defeat as she let you rush to change into new robes and attempt to brush down the matted mess that’s supposed to be your hair but gave up halfway through and threw it into an updo. The headache was not a good combination with the scalp pain from combing out knots. Your roommate waited for you with pitied eyes, following closely behind you as you hurried out of the room and towards the exit.

You sped walked out with her but didn’t see the mop of platinum blond that was waiting for you outside the entrance of the common room. You had zero awareness of his presence until his hand had reached out to hold onto your wrist, stopping your near sprint towards the class. Your roommate stopped too, eyeing the two of you and the look on the Slytherin’s face before she continued walking.

“What? Draco, let go,” you move away from him and he quickly drops your arm. “I’m going to be late.”

You began to walk away from him, but he stepped in front of you, stopping you again.

“Why weren’t you at breakfast?”

“I overslept,” you answered gruffly. “Now, move! If I’m late, Snape will have my head on a stick.”

“Y/N, you need to slow down,” he frowns, “all this studying and rushing around everywhere is going to land you in the hospital wing. You look sick already, I’m worried.”

“I’m not sick!” You huff, throwing your head back in irritation. “If you really cared about me, you’d let me go to class instead of insulting me.”

“I’m not insulting you. Am I so terrible to tell you that you look like you’re about to pass out any second?”

“Yes, you are terrible,” you sneer, the pounding in your head was getting stronger each passing second. “Instead of-”

Your train of thought was violently stopped in its angry tracks, you stumble back and begin blinking hard at the spots that quickly started to dot your vision. Your hand instinctively reached out towards Draco, which he grabbed and hurriedly darted forward towards you, gripping onto you before you could meet the ground, your vision going black and your consciousness out the door.

Draco felt himself begin to panic. He promptly began to feel guilty, feeling like it was his fault that you even fainted in the first place because of the argument he had accidentally started.

He gathered you up in his arms, one arm sliding under your knees and the other under your neck as he swiftly picked you up and began his frantic journey towards the hospital wing.

When he got you to Madam Pomfrey, she instructed him to set you down on one of the beds and kicked him out of the room while she started her treatment. His heart was beating so fast, he wanted nothing more than to stay by your side so he halfheartedly threatened her with his father and she ended up letting him stay with a deep sigh while he stood idly by your bed. When Madam Pomfrey was done, she left the two of you alone. Draco wasted no time in sitting at the foot of your bed, his hand finding its way into your cold one that laid limply beside you. He watched your sleeping figure with a relief as he noticed that whatever Pomfrey gave you had speedily began to affect you. Your skin no longer looked ghastly and dull, but healthy again and tinged with pink. The dark circles underneath your eyes had faded just a little bit, leaving only slight bags as you finally slept.

He waited maybe 12 hours for you to wake up. After missing his first class, he had decided to go to the rest of his classes as Madam Pomfrey swore to him up and down that you would not wake up any earlier. He begrudgingly obliged and skipped all his meals instead to spend his short free time with you. When his final class ended, he almost ran back to the hospital wing. He occupied the rest of his time with a book he had found thrown somewhere around the room. The book was long forgotten the second he felt your hand twitch and your body begin to stir, your tired e/c’s looking around the room in confusion before landing on him. He scooted himself closer to you, brushing a loose strand of hair out of your face as he looked at you with pure concern. It was the same look he had when he confronted you earlier and with that one look, you were able to recall everything that had happened before your collapse.

“I’m sorry I said you’re terrible,” you croak out sadly, your hand wrapping around his wrist and squeezing it gently.

“I’m sorry I made you faint,” he says. “How are you feeling?”

“That was my own fault,” you chortle, “but I feel really good. I know I fainted and all, but I feel much better with whatever Madam Pomfrey gave me.”

“I can tell,” he smiles, moving himself a little back as you sat up with a newfound strength. “She said you can leave when you wake up.”

“Good, now help me out of this bed.”

Draco took your hand and you hopped out of bed excitedly, turning towards him and giving him a tight hug that he returned twice as hard.

“If you’re not too tired, can I show you something?” He asks from above you, his arms still wrapped strongly around you.

“Yes, please,” you answer with a nod against his chest.

Draco steps away from you before taking your hand and walking the two of you out of the hospital wing and towards the stairs that led to the astronomy tower. When you reached the top, huffing, and puffing, he asked you again if you were okay to which you answered with an eager nod.

"Tonight is a blood moon,” he smiles, pointing up towards the very large orange and reddish moon in the starry night sky. It shone brightly but still gave off little light in its wake, the astronomy tower was almost dark, but you still managed to see the blond perfectly, he was watching you with a happy and loving glint in his eyes that you were able to notice. “I was planning on asking you to see it with me tonight, but we kind of ended up elsewhere.”

You threw yourself into his arms, your face buried deep in his robes and the heat radiating off his chest warmed you up in the comfiest way.

“You’re the best, Dray,” you mumble into the cloth of his robes, the clothing vibrating underneath you as he chuckled. You pulled away and gazed up at him, smiling when he placed a kiss on your forehead.

The two of you unknowingly began to sway back in forth in each other’s arms, his hands resting on your lower back while yours were looped loosely around the back of his neck.

“You scared me today,” he begins quietly, “and every day since you’ve started your studying.”

“I know,” you frown, “I’m sorry.”

“Promise me you’ll stop overworking yourself,” he says softly. “I know you’re scared you’ll fail, but I promise you won’t. You’re one of the smartest people I know and I know you’ll get outstanding marks on everything.”

“You think so?” you ask hopefully, your eyes trained on the burnt orange moon as you took in his words.

“I know so.”

A few more minutes of silence pass by, your head now leaning against his chest as the two of you still danced silently. And as if he read your mind, Draco began humming a soft and off-pitch rendition of Claire de Lune. You would laugh every time he forgot a note and would go silent for a moment before backtracking and humming it correctly.

You don’t know how long the two of you stayed up there dancing slowly in each other’s arms with Draco trying his best to hum the top classics of the classical’s, his lips finding yours every now and then to kiss you longingly and tenderly, but one thing was for sure; it was bliss.

Maybe distracting yourself with Draco wasn’t such a bad thing.

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headinthestaticsky · 3 years

Text

The Dusk Calls for me: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 15 FINALE

AUTHORS NOTES: This is a long one folks... hope you like it.

ALL THE CHARACTERS IN TWILIGHT DO NOT BELONG TO ME! ALL RIGHTS GO TO STEPHENIE MEYER!

WARNINGS: Violence

“Before you slip into unconsciousness I'd like to have another kiss Another flashing chance at bliss Another kiss, another kiss.”

Crystal Ship by: The Doors.

POV: BELLA’S

I slowly opened the ballet studio doors, I peaked around each side of the room before entering. It was quiet, and I didn’t see mom anywhere the entire room was void of people.

“BELLA? BELLA? WHERE ARE YOU!?!”

I knew it, I knew Fleur was wrong... mom was here!

“MOM?”

“BELLA!”

“I’m coming mom!”

I ran to the end of the studio and opened the door, my heart sunk into my stomach... It was a TV, of an old home video mom took of me when I was a kid.

“Oh there you are! What are you doing in here?” My mom said.

“Mommy, I suck.” I said back to her, she gasp.

“You do not suck!”

I heard a laugh, it was deep, my blood had run cold, I knew who that voice was. My breath had started to stutter, but I face him. His body was imprinted on every mirror in the room.

“That’s my favorite part... You were a stubborn child weren’t you? Hmm?” James walked up to me, he petted the side of my head before pushing me against a wall.

“S-she’s not even here.”

“No.” He pushed his face closer to mine, breathing me in.

“I’m sorry... but you really made things too easy for me... so to make it up to you. I’m going to make a little film of our time together. I stole this from your house... I hope you don’t mind. And... action. Oh, this will just break Edward little heart.”

I glanced up, I thought my mind was deceiving me... I saw Fleur, she was holding a rock in her hands. She brought her finger up to her lips and silently shushed me.

“Ed-Edward has NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.” I said, I pushed myself up but I was pushed right back against the wall.

“Oh but he does, his rage will make for a much more interesting sport than his feeble attempt to protect you... and let’s continue.

“HEY!”

James turned around, before he could say anything a rock was thrown right at his head. His skin had a slight crack in it... he looked pissed. When he turned back around to me I sprayed him in the eyes with my pepper spray. I took off Fleur waiting for me halfway in the room. She grabbed my hand and made a rush to the door but James jumped right in front of us. He grabbed me and threw me into a glass podium. He then turned toward Fleur, a deadly look was in his eyes.

“BELLA!” She screamed.

POV CHANGE: Fleur

All the fear had left my body as soon as I saw him... it was as if adrenaline had taken over me. I threw that rock with all my might, hoping to damage him in someway. I saw the slightest crack on him, and I got him to divert his attention toward me for a second. Bella and I then ran for the door but James got in our way. He threw Bella into a glass podium and then turned around to face me. The fear still didn’t enter my being, I was beginning to wonder if I had a death wish at this point. Before I could react James grabbed me by the back of my hair and turned me around to face the mirror. He slammed my head into the floor. He lifted my head back up and made my look at my now bloody appearance in the mirror.

“Jasper... he is just as pathetic as Edward... he left you this, fragile, idiotic human... He didn’t have the strength to turn you. You make this hunt much more...fun.” He licked the side of my head, drinking my blood in the process.

“You think your so amazing? I’ve seen the way you hunt and track people... It’s mediocre at best.” I spat back out, I could hear Bella groaning in pain in the background.

“How have you seen me? If I sensed you were there I would’ve eaten you up too.”

“I’ve had dreams, I was in that slut of your’s body Victoria... I saw how you hunted, it’s pathetic.”

“...You’re lying...”

“Oh yeah... does this sound familiar to you?”

“It’s always the same, inane questions. Who are you?”

“What do you want?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“James... let’s not play with our food.”

“How in the hell could you be able to do that...You’re human, nothing more, nothing less.” James said, his grip tightened on my hair, he teeth were clinched. He was seething in pure anger.

“That doesn’t matter...” I said my dark brown eyes glaring back up at him through the mirror.

“All I know is Jasper is going to kick your ASS!”

James dragged me away from the mirror, bringing me to Bella. He then set the camera down and grabbed both of our legs. Breaking them instantly Bella had started to scream but I held it.

“It doesn’t hurt...nothing is cracking... nothing has broken.... I will not give him that satisfaction of him knowing he hurt me.” I thought.

“Tell them how much it hurts.... tell them to avenge you!”

“NO EDWARD DON’T”

“That means you too...tell poor ol’ Jasper how much it hurts.”

I didn’t budge, he then let go of Bella’s leg and grabbed both of mine, He hurled me threw me through one of the mirrors. A large piece of glass was impaled into my side he then dragged my through the glass, my back getting cut along the way. He then dropped me and turned to go back to Bella but before he could someone had knocked him out of the way. I then heard a bang against one of the mirrors.

“You got here first... because your fast than the others... but not stronger.” James said.

“I’m strong enough to kill you!” He then kicked James back, I couldn’t tell where though. The room was starting to spin, It felt like I was floating. I could tell who it was though it was Edward, he looked between Bella and I not knowing who to go to. He turned his head to me before muttering a “I’m sorry Fleur” to me.

This was it, I was going to die here...Edward was going to take Bella and leave me here. I saw him jump up in the air toward a window but James had grabbed him and drug him and Bella back down to the ground. I was gasping at this point, the pain and loss of blood was starting to take it’s toll on me. I heard Bella scream in extreme pain, I knew James had bitten her right then and there. I couldn’t even say anything, I had blacked out. Muffled screams and voices had come into my sense of hearing. I woke up after being shaken by someone.

“Hey, hey, darlin, look at me. You’re going to be fine.”

“J-jasper?” I said... I didn’t recognize my own voice, it was weak and frail.

“Yeah, it’s me... you need to stay awake for me okay? C’mon let me see those beautiful eyes huh?”

My eyes opened slightly I could see the blurry image of a fire with Alice, Dean and Emmett fighting for something to go in it. I felt a gigantic pressure on my side and hissed. I began to fade out again.

“Hey, hey... c’mon keep your eyes open... you have to stay awake! You can’t forget about what you told me in your room that night...

I weakly grabbed his hand, squeezing as tight as I could.

“Jazz, y-you need t-to go... my blood, you can’t be comfortable right now. He ignored me and continued in on his rant

You told me you’d live... that no matter how much you got hurt... you would live, you would still be human. You can’t break you promise on me now... you need to stay awake. Fleur? FLEUR!”

My world faded to black again, the sound I heard was the beeping of a machine, it smelt like I was in a hospital. My eyes twitched and I heard rustling on the side of the room.

“Petal? Are you waking up?” It was my dad’s voice... relief filled my body, he was okay. I finally opened my eyes, they were burned by the bright fluorescent lights in the room.

“Dad?”

“Hey petal, you feeling okay?”

I tried to sit up but, a stinging sensation on my side made me lay back down.

“I’ve been better.”

“When I got the call from Jasper, my heart dropped... I didn’t think I would ever see you again.” Dad said, he grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

“I’m here... just a little beaten up right now.”

“Jasper has been here ever since you came in, he hasn’t eaten or drunken anything... in 3 days. I’ve tried to get him to eat something but he would budge. You picked a good one Petal, I’ve never seen so much dedication for someone before.”

“So, you aren’t mad at him?”

“Not at all, Edward on the other hand... he needs some work.”

“A lot of work you mean.”

He chuckled

“Yeah, you got that right.”

“Is Bella okay?”

“Yeah she’s fine... she told me what happened. She said you were chasing her down a flight of stairs in the hotel when she tripped dragging you down with her... and then you both went through a window! Do you remember any of this?”

“Nope, none at all.”

“They said you lost a lot of blood due to a piece of glass stabbing you on the side, it was close to hitting the side of your lung. You got stitches over there.”

“Oh, that explains the pain then.”

“Yeah...”

“I can’t wait to go home... I miss it there... and I miss my bed too.”

“The rooms ready for you Petal.”

The hospital room door opened, we both looked up and saw Renee looking in on us.

“She wants to see you.” She then closed the door behind her, not even acknowledging me.

“Well I see she hasn’t changed much.”

“Yeah... not at all.”

“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with her dad.”

He turned and looked at me, and then he smiled.

“It’s worth it for you.”

“I love you dad.”

“I love you too.” He then left, leaving me alone in the hospital room with Jasper.

“Hey Jazz.”

“Hi Darlin.”

I opened my arms, inviting him in for a hug. He accepted the invitation immediately.

“I’m so happy to hear your voice again love.” We pulled apart, now facing each other.

“I’m happy to be alive, to be able to see you again. Did you guys get James?”

“Yeah, we got him, boy you should’ve seen Emmett and Dean... they were brutal.”

“I couldn’t of imagined how you felt... I’m sure my blood made you uncomfortable too.”

“You’re the one in the hospital bed... and you’re worrying about me? You did the same thing in the studio. You told me to leave, that you didn’t want me to be uncomfortable around all your blood. You are something special my love, purely amazing.”

“Of course I worry about you Jazz...I love you.”

“I love you too Darlin.”

TIMESKIP: Two week later.

Getting back to Forks was amazing, I never thought I would be so happy to see that small town again. The first week back was rough, I could hardly move, the pain was unbearable at times. The second week was a lot better but, Bella and I haven’t talked much since our fight. The tension was back... and I knew I couldn’t trust her anymore. She was too selfish, too self absorbed, she would risk me and everyone around her just to save herself and Edward. Rosalie and Alice visited me whenever they could and today, the were helping me get ready for prom. I didn’t think I would be able to go but, the pain in my side was nothing more than a annoying throb.

“You guys really don’t have to do this you know...”

“Yes we do, besides I picked out the dress and I want to see you wear it.” Rosalie said.

“I’ve always wanted to do your makeup and hair... and since I’m here, you can’t stop me now!” Alice exclaimed.

“Alright, alright, make me beautiful!”

A few moments had passed and my make up and hair were done, I was impressed. They really knew what they were doing. I quickly changed into my dress, this was the most beautiful I had felt in the past 2 weeks.

“You look beautiful.” Rosalie said, she looked at me through the mirror, a smile was on her face.”

“You better go, Jasper’s waiting downstairs with Charlie...”

“Okay, okay, thank you guys.”

We all three hooked arms with each other and made our way downstairs. Jasper and Dad sat up walking toward the stairs, they both smiled at me.

“You look gorgeous.” Jasper said.

“Thank you, you look great. Just ignore the cast... it’s a lot...”

Jasper wrapped his arm gingerly around my waist and kissed my cheek.

“You two have have fun, stay safe.” Dad said.

“We will dad.”

Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and I all made our way outside, Emmett and Dean were waiting for us.

The drive was nice, it gave me a sense f peace after everything that had happened to me. I wish I could keep this feeling this forever, I felt safe, loved. Jasper had helped me out of the car and guided me through the front of the building. We got our pictures taken and made our way inside... it was a bit chaotic. I looked around and saw Angela and Eric, she looked at me and waved happily. I of course, returned the gesture. I then saw Jessica with Mike, she was posing and taking pictures. When she saw me I gave her a thumbs and mouthed,”You look incredible.” She mouthed back, “you do too!”

“Come with me, love.” I heard Jasper say, he pulled my attention back to him.

I he pulled me towards the outside of the building, it was secluded. The lights from the inside and the gazebo gave it and warming glow. He turned to face me and grabbed my hands. He pulled my on top of his feet and then began to dance.

“This isn’t how I exactly envisioned this moment but, the one part I knew would happen is still here.” I said.

“And what would that be?”

“That I’d be dancing with you.”

“Looking you over, and you don’t know my name yet.

By the time you looked away I already knew I couldn’t fake it.

I got this need for you, forming in my beating heart.

I knew the meaning right away, when only yesterday were worlds apart.”

“I’m glad I got to be apart of it with you.” Jasper said

“I do too, the happiness you’ve made me feel, is always the best I’ve ever felt.”

“You brought me back to life, love.”

“And you brought even more life to me.”

“I think I may love you,

If you give my sometime,

Maybe you’ll love me too.”

“I got this need for you, if you come closer I can whisper in your ear.

And if you wanna walk away

I’ll tell you all the things I know you’d wanna hear.”

“You know... I was talking with Edward he told me some things about Bella.” Jasper said.

“What would that be?”

“Bella is in desperate need to become a vampire now.”

“Wow...”

“So I wanted to ask you... are you in desperate need to become one too?”

“ I mean... I would love to spend eternity with you but... it’s way too soon for me to change. I’m not ready to leave dad yet...”

“That’s a relief to here love.”

“If I were to get changed so soon... It would have to be because I’m about to die... I won’t do it any other way.”

“I promise I won’t change you unless I absolutely have too.”

“I’ll come closer,

To you if you

Come over

I know we’ll go farther

Farther with you

With you I’m in warm water swimming down.”

“I love you Jasper Hale.”

“I love you Fleur Swan.”

“With you I’m in warm water swimming down.”

Warm Water by, BANKS.

END OF BOOK 1

#jasper hale x oc #jasper hale #rosalie hale #jasper hale x reader #edward cullen #alice cullen #esme cullen #emmett cullen #carlisle cullen

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whimsicallyreading · 3 years

Text

Who Cares

Masterlist

Hunt was soaked in blood.

From beneath his chin, to the toes of his heavy, leather boots. It coated him like a second layer of crimson skin, and Hunt was aware that anyone who came across him would think he was a walking nightmare.

This wasn’t the first or last time he’d walked around publicly in such a state. The Umbra Mortis was no fairy tale told to keep children in bed. He was a living, breathing male that walked the streets of Lunathion daily.

Bryce’s new public status meant that cameras followed her everywhere. Hunt’s name was elevated with hers, but people hesitated pointing their lenses at him. They still cleared the sidewalks when he passed by.

It stung.

Hunt landed on the roof of their apartment and made the slow descent to his floor. Red foot prints followed his wake but he didn’t look back at those. He would leave a tip for the janitor later.

He stepped through the door and kicked off his shoes. Bryce, on the other hand, would murder him if they ruined her rugs.

A low, rumbling ground broke through the silence and Syrinx came barreling from his crate. The little beast charged at the intruder prepared to chew their bones with his need-like teeth.

“Syrinx,” Hunt huffed and got down on his knees. “If you bite my ass again I’m going to turn you into a pair of socks.”

Syrinx skidded to a halt, taking Hunt in with his amber eyes. Once he recognized the male under the blood, his tongue flopped out and his disposition sweetened.

“There you are, Beastie.” Hunt scratched Syrinx’s ears. “Bryce will be home soon and I need to go wash off before she sees me. I’ll take you on a walk after. How is that?”

Syrinx made happy, snuffling sounds and pranced back to his bed. Content to finish his nap and wait for all of his friends to arrive.

Hunt opened the door to his bathroom. Bryce had all but moved him into her room, but claimed this room still belonged to him. She wanted him to have the autonomy of his own space.

Hel, he loved her.

They also shared her bathroom now. Conserving water was her rational for that. Hunt didn’t want the blood to stain her tub, though, so he would use this shower.

Isaiah had called to inform him of a couple shifter radicals, intent on usurping the Wolves of the city and attempting to plant bombs in Moonwood. His friend was loathe to ask, but Hunt understood the request.

Dispatch them quietly.

Hunt wouldn’t deny that was his forte, and Isaiah asking out of respect was different than doing it because Micah ordered.

He is was halfway through cleaning the feathers of his left wing when he heard the apartment door slam open.

“Hunt,” Bryce’s voice screamed, filled with pain and terror.

Leaping from the shower, Hunt barely wrapped a towel around his waist before bursting into the living room.

Bryce was standing by the front door next to his bloodied boots. Her face was pale, legs trembling, and tears were running down her freckled cheeks.

“Bryce, what the Hel is wrong?” He gripped her shoulders and scanned her body for damage. Nothing was out of place besides the tears ruining her makeup.

Mentally he was swearing, if one of those fae bastards had harassed her again on her way home he would-

“There was blood-“ Bryce choked between sobs. “All the way down the hallway. On the walls. The floor, I thought, I thought-“

Shit. He was an idiot.

Hunt pulled her to his chest, neither caring that he was wet or that one wing was still stained and dirty. He could feel Bryce’s heart racing, and her whole body shook in his arms.

He carded his fingers through her hair. “Shit. I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.”

Bryce thought she was walking into another massacre. Another body. Another friend and another love death. He must have made a bigger mess than he’d thought.

“I didn’t know you had a job today,” she cried, her face stilled pressed into his chest. “You can’t do that to me.”

“I’m really freaking sorry,” Hunt apologized, feeling more like a bastard with every sob. “Isaiah called and I didn’t even think to call you.”

Bryce leans back and slams a fist again his chest, and damn if it didn’t hurt. “You moron! You didn’t even consider letting me know?”

Her sorrow was replaced with a burning rage that confused Hunt. “It wasn’t a serious job. Just messy. I didn’t think it was important. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I don’t care if you think it’s important,” Bryce growled, her freckles scrunched as her face contorted in anger. “It doesn’t have to be important. I care about you. I want to know because I care if you come home looking like a freaking reaper.”

Hunts eyebrows drew together, “It’s just my job, Bryce. I’m lucky to have one.”

“I know it’s your job,” her voice becomes quiet and her eyes look pained. “But don’t lie and say it doesn’t take a toll on you. We are mirrors, remember? You can’t lie to me. If I’d known I would have been here waiting for you.”

Hunt takes a risk and dips in to kiss Bryce. Nothing like the swift pecks they often exchanged, this was deep and passionate. He gripped the back of her hand in his fist and pulled Bryce closer to him.

When they pulled back, she looked flustered.

“I know you care,” Hunt chokes around the emotion building inside him. “It just surprises me how much sometimes.”

Bryce sighs and takes his hand, leading him back to the shower he left running. He sits on the side of the tub, still in his towel as she picks up a loofa and gets to work on his other wing.

They are silent as she works. Hunt can scent the fear that’s still leeching its way from her system. When she finishes, Hunt wets a rag and wipes the makeup and tears from under her eyes. He presses a kiss to each one when they are cleaned.

“You have a different kind of love Bryce,” He whispers foreheads pressed together. “I’ve never met a heart like yours. Sometimes the honor that you’ve made a place for me inside of it still hits me. I’m truly sorry for scaring you.”

Bryce looks up at him, her red lashes brushing against her eyebrows. “I wish you would stop forgetting that you aren’t alone anymore. You won’t ever be alone again, Hunt. I care if you are okay.”

Tears sting his eyes and he blinks them back. What a foreign concept. He’d spent most of his life in servitude but here was this girl, a literal princess who cared if he came home in a good mental state. Who’d washed him more than once. Who got a spark in her eyes whenever she saw him experiencing or enjoying something new.

Bryce, who made sure he had autonomy in their home, their relationship, their things. Because she wanted his freedom for him even when Hunt didn’t think he needed it.

“You aren’t alone either,” Hunt kisses her again. Deeper. More frantically.

Her hair is damp from the steam and sticks to his skin but he couldn’t care less as her arms wrap around his shoulders. Bryce cups both sides of his face in an iron grip.

Hunt lifts her off her feet and they stumble into the hall when they hear a gasp.

They rip apart and Bryce’s eyes widen in mortification at the couple standing at the door. “Mom! What the hel are you doing here?”

Ember and Randall are staring at them from the doorway. The latter looks like he wants to run back at the door or decapitate Hunt. Ember seems unbothered, her hands resting on her hips and a tight grin.

“Did you forget we were coming? Of course you did,” Ember sighs. “Tell your Angel to go put some clothes on, and perhaps clean yourself up as well?”

“I’m going to kill him,” Randall manages to strangle out, he looks to his wife. “Ember, I’m going to kill him.”

Ember rolls her eyes, “You can kill him later.” Her steely look turns towards Bryce. “We’ve had a long trip and I can assume you don’t have a room ready for us?”

Bryce murmurs under her breath away as she ushers Hunt out of sight. “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll have Hunt’s room ready.”

“We will be waiting,” Ember sings as she and Randall drop their bags by the front door.

Bryce’s bedroom door shuts behind them and Hung runs a stressed hand through his damp hair. “That’s not how I wanted to officially meet your parents.”

“Well get over it,” Bryce throws a pair of shorts at him. “Nothing ever goes as planned with them.”

Hunt can’t help but think being almost naked and making out with their daughter had to at least be on the worst end of that spectrum. Still, he was resolved to try and fix this. He wants to exceed their expectations of a boyfriend.

For Bryce? There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do. How hard could impressing her human parents be? They’d chatted over video call before. He liked both of them. Hunt can rectify this situation, he assures himself.

At least, he hopes he can.

What happens when Val’s client never arrived for their appointment? She stress writes quinlar fluff on her phone while sitting on a grooming table. Hope you guys enjoy <3

Taglist- (let me know if you would like to be added or removed :D)

@cursebreaker29

@firestarsandseneschals

@royalsqueeze

@julemmaes

@tillyrubes10

@live-the-fangirl-life

@ghostlyrose2

#its gonna get awkward in here #Quinlar #hunt and bryce #crescent city #TAIl #The Answer is Love #a house of earth and blood

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andromedasstarship · 3 years

Text

in the stars - chapter 3

photo credit - unknown

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, stalking, depictions of murder/violence, angst, verbal fighting, drinking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, smoking (cigarettes)

summary - “If you’re upset over how I ended our relationship, that is completely separate from the dealings of the case and I expect you to be able to conduct yourself appropriately.” Aaron said and you thought this was what ‘seeing red’ meant

a/n - hi besties! im so sorry this update took so long! i really wanted to make it perfect and was struggling with putting this together. to make it up this chapter is a whopping 5.9k words so uh enjoy lol!

masterlist // series masterlist // read it on ao3

chapter 2 // chapter 4

-----

You had to physically stop yourself- gripping the desk chair beside you so hard your knuckles turned white- from following Aaron out the office door and demanding he make sense of the whole good cop- ha!- bad cop show he’d been putting on since the two of you had been horribly reunited outside of the police station.

This had been the second instance of him implying or accusing you of somehow worsening the case. And he hadn’t even been in LA for over 24hrs. It wasn’t fair, you thought, angrily grumbling to yourself about all the different ways you’d love to give him a piece of your mind. If he’d been a regular man, that you’d never met before, you probably wouldn’t consider his current behavior to be so- out of pocket? disgraceful? insulting?- offensive. You knew he had a reputation for being...,a hardass on the job, but that didn’t mean he had to go overboard in his treatment towards you. Maybe he wasn’t going overboard, maybe this was just how he treated every- you weren’t sure exactly how to define yourself in the case- witness? Maybe this is just what his team expected in terms of his behavior towards people he didn’t know.

But he did know you, he knew you quite well. He knew you well enough to know you’d never purposely attempt to slow the case down. Even without his fancy profiler skills, you were certain Aaron Hotchner knew every little thing about you. Or at least he used to.

And while Aaron may know everything there was to know about you, you were beginning to doubt if you actually knew anything about him. As expected, over the past two months the case had been taking an extreme toll on you; constantly looking over your shoulder and worrying that someone was lurking behind every corner. What made it worse, was that it was yet another situation that required you to keep a secret. You ‘had’ the officers at the station and your agent, but besides them you were dealing with this completely on your own. Making the situation about yourself felt wrong, but you couldn’t even begin to explain how hurt you felt at Aaron's accusations that you were somehow more part of the problem than you were a victim. Yes, you hadn’t gone up to him and explicitly told him how badly you were hurting, but it’s not like it took a genius- or a profiler- to reach that conclusion themselves.

It hurt, to have someone whose validation you had once- still did- crave so much, suddenly act as if you were a ‘bad guy’. Maybe you were being dramatic, you thought. Maybe you were overreacting and reading far too deep into such short interactions. On the other hand, you reasoned that it was perfectly acceptable to have feelings. Before you could delve deeper into that mental tirade, a sharp knock on the doorframe grabbed your attention. Looking up, you saw JJ leaning halfway into the room.

“Sorry,” you said, awkwardly letting go of the chair, “I uh, got caught up with uh, just you know, thoughts about the case!” Smooth. You tried to put a cheery tone in your voice. You tried to subtly study her reaction as you walked over to her and it was clear she wasn’t exactly buying into your sudden happy attitude. She didn’t press you though, something you were grateful for. Instead she just moved out of the doorframe, letting you join her in the hallway.

“The rest of the team has split up already, would you like to start in the basement?” JJ asked. You had only spoken to her a couple times, briefly at that, but you already found great comfort in her presence; you could see why she held the position, her ability to comfort and connect with others was unbeatable. Definitely need to send JJ a case of wine as a gift.

You nodded dumbly, joining her in the hallway and taking her down towards your basement. Internally, you guessed the little ‘tour’ would only take an hour tops, considering all the little spiels you’d have to give about each room.

You felt a bit like when you went through airport security or when a police car was on a road you were driving on. That sinking feeling that somehow you were going to get in trouble even though you knew you didn’t have anything to hide. Damn Aaron. His apparent lowly opinion of you was definitely messing with your head. Oh well.

As you lead JJ towards the basement, you could vaguely hear the other agents throughout the house. A door opening here or the sound of papers rustling over there. You hadn’t exactly asked how they would be able to tell if something was missing or out of place. But honestly? You didn’t really care what the team did in your house, as long as they figured out how the unsub had gotten in there.

You’d already come to terms with the fact that the unsub had managed to steal your clothes and jewelry, but you just couldn’t shake the fact that he had gotten into your house. Part of you secretly wished he had pick-pocketed you on a busy street or was stealing stuff off a film set instead. It would’ve been equally as bad and creepy and horrifying, but it would’ve been worth still feeling safe in your own house.

Smacking the lightswitch on the wall behind you, the entire basement became illuminated. “So,” you started, really drawing out the word, “this is the basement. It’s technically one big open floor, but well,” you gestured lazily with your hand, “you can see it’s kinda still split up. There’s a movie room behind those doors right there.”

JJ stepped ahead of you, walking towards the high windows in the basement. You watched as she ran her fingers along the window edges, carefully going over each one. “Do these open?” She asked, turning back to look at you.

You quickly shook your head. “They’re mostly just for, like, decoration purposes.” You responded, giving a slight shrug. “I um, I’m not down here much unless I’m having people over. And those stairs we came down are the only way to get in here.” You added, thinking that’d probably be helpful.

JJ gave you that nice smile again and started towards the movie room. “I’m just gonna look in here real quick and then we can go back upstairs, okay?”

You stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs, rolling back and forth from your heels to your tippy toes, awkwardly playing with your hands in front of yourself. You knew her movie room scan wouldn’t take wrong, there were zero windows in there and no other point of entry besides the door she had walked through.

Just as you expected, JJ came back out no longer than five minutes later. Once she got closer to you, you turned slowly on your heel and started back up the stairs. “We can start upstairs and then meet the rest of your team on the main level?” You offered.

“Lead the way.”

“There’s um, two ways to get upstairs. There’s that main staircase you saw in the foyer and also there’s a ‘servants stair’ in the back,” you said, making air quotes with your fingers at the ‘servants stair’ part, “I have people that work in the house sometimes, but it’s not an actual designated staircase for anyone.” You explained, unsure of why you were feeling so anxious.

“Why don’t we go up using the second set of stairs? Since I’ve already seen the main set.” JJ said.

You nodded dumbly again, and walked in the direction of the back stairs. Once upstairs, you gave the same room spiel to JJ about six times. This is ‘x’ room, yep those windows can open, nope no one regularly comes into this room, yes the balcony doors do lock from the inside.

Just as you thought earlier, the little tour took just a couple minutes under an hour. You and JJ were standing in your kitchen, both of you leaning against opposite countertops. According to JJ the whole team had agreed to meet up in your kitchen once they were done with their scans, so it seemed that you two were the first to finish. Also expected.

You were lucky you hadn’t run into Aaron the entire time. At times you could vaguely hear his voice coming from another room and all that did was pull on your heartstrings and remind you of when the two of you were together. Aside from the sadness factor, you still weren’t sure you could trust yourself to not yell at him as soon as you saw him again.

“That’s funny.” JJ said amusedly-more to herself than to you-, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“What is?” You asked. She had moved from her spot by the countertops, to standing in front of your liquor wall, staring up at a bottle you couldn’t quite recognize from your position.

“Oh, just Agent Hotchner? Out there,” she said, gesturing broadly out to where the rest of the team might be, “he loves this brand of scotch. We joke sometimes that he’d pick it over us if he was given the choice. But apparently it’s super difficult to get. He started getting lucky a few years ago and found a way to buy it, but recently I guess that luck ran out and he hasn’t been able to find it anymore.”

Your eyes went wide at that. Yes. That scotch was super difficult to get and it was ridiculously expensive. And yes, Aaron loved the stuff. The two of you used to constantly argue over money. He hated that you were always the one paying for everything and had created a ‘rule’ that you weren’t allowed to buy him any gifts. Of course, you managed to find a way around that rule and found that this specific scotch was his gift achilles heel. So, you used to send him a steady supply while also keeping a bottle at your place for the rare occasions he was over.

“Oh?” You squeaked.

“Yeah, it’s super rare or something. They only make so many batches a year don’t they?” JJ asked, turning back to look at you.

You quickly pulled your emotions in when she turned towards you, just giving her your third dumb nod of the day. “Yep, super hard to get. Super super hard. I uh, got as a gift once, I don’t even like the stuff.”

“You should tell Hotch. I bet he’d pay pretty well for it.” She said with a laugh, shaking her head. Definitely will not be doing that.

----

Upstairs, Rossi and Hotch were looking through your upstairs office. While your downstairs office was more work based- you stored scripts and had meetings down there, etc.-, your upstairs office was used for your more ‘personal’ work tasks.

“If the unsub is taking her clothes, we might have better success scoping out her closet. See the potential entry and exit points from her room that the unsub must be taking.” Rossi proposed.

Hotch nodded at that, putting down the stack of fan mail he’d been flipping through, trying to find any repeats or ‘creepy’ letters. He made a mental note to have Reid come and read through the piles of other mail you had neatly stacked around the room.

Your attention to fanmail had been one of the things that had quickened the process of him falling in love with you. He had had his doubts in the beginning of you relationship- he had stereotyped you for sure-, your age and status giving him somewhat valid concerns that you’d be insanely disconnected from the normal world. You’d proved him wrong in many ways since the beginning, but one of those ways had been the many days you’d call him from this room, reading through every single letter you were sent and always making sure to send a small note back.

“Good idea, let’s go.” Hotch said. He walked out of office and didn’t think twice, his body automatically walking towards the room a few doors down from your bedroom. You didn’t keep your closet in your bedroom, you had actually put a little couch and sitting room in your bedroom closet space. Instead you’d taken an entire guest room and converted it into a full dressing room/closet that was a better fit for your needs.

As Hotch went straight into the room, he missed the narrow look Rossi was giving him from the doorframe. It only took a couple minutes, but eventually Hotch looked up, cocking an eyebrow at Rossi. “Are you going to come in?” He questioned.

“You knew her closet wasn’t in her room.” Rossi noted, amusement clear in his voice.

Hotch’s face paled, before he steeled his emotions back over. “I saw the clothes while walking past earlier and made the deduction.”

“She’s pretty, isn’t she Aaron?” Rossi teased, clearly finding a lot of enjoyment in this conversation.

“Dave,” Hotch groaned, running a hand over his face, “just, not now okay?” He asked, the desperation clear in his voice.

Rossi certainly didn’t have the entire story figured out, but he wasn’t dumb either, he could piece things together. As much as he’d love to keep busting Hotch over this, there was something about how gentle he had been with you in the conference room and his current clear discomfort that persuaded Rossi otherwise. Rossi grinned at Hotch and raised his hands in mock surrender.

“So, we know the unsub doesn’t have to necessarily be quiet, her room is at least what, 3-”

“Four and across the hall.” Hotch huffed out, not looking up to meet Rossi’s eyes.

“Four and across the hall away. So he doesn’t need to sneak past her if he’s coming in at night...”

----

Back in the kitchen, you turned your head at the sound of the back patio doors opening, showing Morgan and Spencer. Guess they’d be the second pair done with their house tour.

Just as you were about to open your mouth and offer the two of them something to drink, you noticed the rather grim expressions on both their faces. Upon better inspection, you saw Spencer was tightly gripping on to a dirty journal.

“What’s that?” You asked curiously, trying to get a better look at it.

“I found this uh, journal out by the edge of your property line. I think it may belong to the unsub.” Reid responded, giving you a tight lipped look.

It was terribly cliche, but you couldn’t help but gasp at that. Your eyes going wide and your mouth hanging open.

“I flipped through it, there’s nothing that clearly identifies him, but it seems like he was keeping track of your comings and goings. As well as keeping a list of the things he took from your house, we can cross check that list with-”

“Can I look at it?” You interjected, a morbid curiosity consuming your mind.

Reid gave an unsure glance at the two other agents in the room. “I think it’d be better for the rest of the team and I to look through the journal first, and make sure there’s nothing uh...upsetting in it.”

----

With the new revelations that the unsub had managed to break into your home multiple times, the team decided it would be best for at least one of them to be with you at the house at all times; during the day they would assign a plainclothes officer to discreetly sit watch. It was comical, the way they decided on the watch and then promptly assigned Aaron the first shift of the night.

You wondered why he agreed to it, knowing he could’ve easily pulled a seniority boss card and taken himself out of any and all future watch shifts as well. He probably didn’t want you to get closer with any of his agents, should you accidentally say something a bit too personal. He also probably assumed that with the late hour of the night, you’d immediately be going to bed or at least locking yourself away in your room for the rest of the night.

The team had stayed hours after their first walkthroughs of the house, the new list and notes from the unsub giving you all a better idea of what to look for. You had gone through the list of clothes and jewelry in front of the team, giving them a base description of what you assumed the unsub had meant, whether or not you had considered it missing and where you thought you’d last seen it in the house.

Unfortunately, whatever Aaron had been banking on wouldn’t be happening. You hadn’t been able to shake the sinking feeling that your house was no longer a home anymore. It was painfully cheesy, but you knew that trying to sleep would be futile. Nor did you really feel like being ‘alone’ in your room. That didn’t mean you were going to strike up a conversation with Aaron or ask him to play a board game or something, but you wouldn’t be shutting away from the rest of the night.

After the team left, you had gone upstairs and changed into a more comfortable outfit for the evening; just your trusty sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt. You were now walking back down the stairs and towards your kitchen; you grasped a lighter and your emergency cigarette pack in one hand. As you made your way into the kitchen, you could feel Aarons eyes on you from wherever he was seated in the living room. You pointedly ignored him, instead setting the pack and lighter down, freeing your hands so you could mix yourself your favorite drink.

Once your drink was prepped, you balanced all your things in your hands and made your way back through the living room and out the grand French doors that lead to your backyard. You walked over to one of your lounge chairs that overlooked the pool and had a beautiful view of the sky and bright lights of the city. You turned on one of your favorite playlists and made yourself comfy in the chair, lighting up one of the cigarettes.

With the first inhale, you felt your body relax. It was a horrible habit- you knew that-, but if there was ever a time to stress smoke, you reasoned it was probably now. Over the sound of your music, you faintly heard one of the doors open again, but you didn’t bother turning around.

“I thought you quit.” Aaron said, quite literally coming out of the shadows. Even though you didn’t turn to look at him, you could perfectly imagine him in your mind; probably leaning up against one of the legs of the cabana, arms tightly crossed and a deep scowl on his face.

“I did.” You replied plainly, blowing a steady stream of smoke out of your mouth. Using your free hand you picked your glass back off the chair side table, twirling it slowly. As you took a long sip, you could hear Aaron walk closer, not quite coming into view yet.

“Drinking and abusing substances in response to a traumatic situation is widely frowned upon.

“Thank you Surgeon General,” you said, rolling your eyes before adding, “no offense Agent, but right now, I don’t really think it matters.” You didn’t even bother attempting to argue that you were on your first drink and first smoke.

“It matters, when my team will be counting on you tomorrow. The expectation is that you’ll be a useful and legitimate resource.” Aaron said, voice tight.

“Do you really think I’m dumb enough to actually believe, that you believe that a single drink is going to render me useless?” You asked, finally turning your head so you could give him a pointed look. When he didn’t answer you rolled your eyes again, turning back away from him. “It doesn’t matter, Agent, I’m unavailable to be a resource tomorrow.”

“What do you mean, unavailable?” Aaron asked. He finally walked into view, sitting down on the chair next to you. He positioned his legs over the edge facing you, resting his elbows off his knees.

“What do you mean unavailable?” You said mockingly- the alcohol in your system and stress of the day emboldening your behavior. You paused for a moment to take another drag from your cigarette; Aaron didn’t miss the way you turned your head further from him during your exhale. “You have your job Agent, I have mine.”

“There is a dangerous free man out there with a special interest in you. He’s not only managed to break into your house but is also murdering surrogate women in place of you,” he said, voice growing louder as he went, “and you think you should go to a film set? How immature and irresponsible are-”

“Stop doing that!” You cut him off, snapping your head to face him. For a brief moment, you were taken aback by how close he’d been sitting. “Stop painting me to be some dumb self centered girl. This is the fourth time today.” You said, staring him hard in the face, neither of your breaking eye contact. He always looked so good with a beard- stop that.

“I’m trying to do my job and protect you,” he paused, eyes scanning your face, “I couldn’t handle anything happening to you.” In that moment, his voice was so painfully honest and it almost made you want to agree to do whatever dumb rules he had for you.

Almost.

Instead, you swung your legs to the side of the chair opposite to him, standing up in a quick blur of motion. ��Stop doing that too!” You exclaimed, running your free hand over your face. You took a long drag from your cigarette, placing one hand on your hip. Aaron was giving you a genuinely confused look and you just wanted to wipe it off in one big swipe. “Stop doing some weird little bait and switch between acting like I’m a diva and then trying to end it with some vaguely little sweet comment.”

“You actually think I don’t care about your safety?” Aaron asked, the faintest bit of hurt in his voice. He stood up as well before continuing. “You think this isn’t a difficult case for me?”

“You do not get to do that!” You said angrily, pointing a free finger out at him. “You are not allowed to try and make yourself a victim in this story while you simultaneously make me part of the problem. How the hell can you see yourself as even remotely ‘good’ when you left the way you did?” There it was. Maybe it was immature, dragging the breakup into the argument, but the days’ tension- not to mention the months of bottled up emotions- was finally snapping inside of you.

“If you’re upset over how I ended our relationship, that is completely separate from the dealings of the case and I expect you to be able to conduct yourself appropriately.” Aaron said and you thought that this must be what ‘seeing red’ meant.

“Do you treat all your witnesses like this?” You were full on yelling now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “Is this your version of appropriate conduct, Agent Hotchner? You’ve proven to be nothing but incompetent! You can’t even see two inches past your own fucking face to consider this from my perspective!”

Your words had their intended effect. Aaron’s face fell for the briefs of moments before years of bottling his own emotions took back over. You had to give him some credit for keeping it, outwardly, more together than you were. “I won't fight with you over something as trivial as this. You’ll report to the station in the morning with the rest of the team.” He ordered, voice dangerously low.

“I have to work!” You exclaimed, putting heavy emphasis on each word.

“Going to work isn’t safe. Do you understand that? Your stalker is well acquainted with your schedule, you need to step away from what’s expected of you. It’s dangerous-”

“Oh my god,” you groaned, shaking your head, “are you even listening to yourself? Your job is dangerous every single day, hell you didn’t even step away when the job was dangerous specifically to you! How am I supposed to take advice you can’t even follow?” At the end of your sentence, you angrily stubbed out your cigarette in the ashtray, leaving the butt in the tray.

“This isn’t about me.” Aaron snapped, voice loudest it’d been all night. “I’m trying to keep you safe. What part of that don’t you understand?” He asked, giving you a tough look. You found yourself at a loss for words and he took your silence as an opening to continue. “I can’t stand to see you get hurt.”

“Are you finally understanding how exhausting it was to love you!” You blurted out, the words catching even you by surprise. You forcibly blinked back the tears forming your eyes. “That this, is how I felt each time you were called away on a case?”

Aaron was equally as shocked, his mouth opening in vain a few times as he searched for the proper response. “I made sure you were properly aware of the risks and demands of my job before we started our relationship.” Bad answer.

“And I never complained,” you replied, a defeated tone creeping into your voice, “not once, did I?”

“If you’re going to accuse me of hypocrisy, you should recognize it in yourself. You were equally if not more in demand than I was.”

“I thought you liked that I was so ‘in demand’!” You said, the frustration growing again. “What was it you always said? You liked not having to worry about me alone at home, waiting up for you.”

“You’re coming to the station tomorrow Y/N. Final order.” Aaron repeated, completely ignoring your last statement.

“You know what,” you said, the fight in your voice gone, “I don’t have to put up with this and your lame attempts at trying to be a good guy. I’m not having this conversation anymore.” You quickly leaned over to swipe your cigarette pack and glass of the little table.

“Are you actually going to run away from this?” He asked, almost as if he was trying to bait you back into the argument.

You scoffed loudly, staring him dead in the eyes. “You did.”

You angrily walked around him, nearly stomping the entire way to the door. As you were halfway into the house you paused for a moment, not even slightly turning your head back towards him. “Blankets are still in the same spot in the living room.” You said, slamming the door behind you as soon the sentence left your lips.

-----

The next morning, promptly at 8am, an email from your agent was sent to Aaron. It was incredibly petty and inherently personal, but to an outsider it was nothing out of the ordinary for someone of your status. Aaron was near furious, as expected, but even in his stubbornness he could see you had the high ground. Long story short, the email plainly stated vaguely threatened that if your work schedule were to become an issue for the team, you could easily send a ‘spokesperson’ from your team to deal with any and all future communications. Y/N 2, Aaron Hotchner 0.

Back at your house, you were having a lovely morning. The victory tasted sweet in your mouth as you got yourself ready for the long day. Sometime around 4:00AM Reid had switched out with Aaron and the two of you were currently in your kitchen; Reid sitting at one of your countertop stools while you stood over the stove. After being angrily informed by Aaron that you wouldn’t be required to come into the station with Reid, you decided to make a simple breakfast for the two of you. Reid had wanted to leave sooner, but he was also under orders to not leave you alone until you were safely in your own car and on your way.

You weren’t sure how he felt, but you thought you and Reid got along quite well. He was the closest in age to you and even though he didn’t really seem to understand any of the little jokes or references you made, there was still some level of mutual understanding there. It didn’t hurt that he was quite easy on the eyes as well, of course he wasn’t Aaron by any means- stop that!

Over breakfast, you spent the entire time answering Reid’s many questions about various actors and actresses he was a fan of. Lucky boy, you thought; as all the people he mentioned were quite nice even when the camera was off. What was it that people said about never meeting your hero?

He graciously offered to do all the clean up, as you had cooked, which gave you a bit of extra time to make sure you were ready to go. When you both were ready and Reid had confirmed the plainclothes officer was positioned on your street, he helped you to your car.

With one hand on the top of your car, just as you were about to sit down, you stopped and turned to Reid. “I enjoyed breakfast, would you please tell Agent Hotchner how sorry I am that my schedule’s gotten in the way?” You asked, giving him your sweetest smile. It was another petty move and Aaron was sure to see right through it; the team had amazing skills at reading people, you knew that, but you were an equally talented actress. “I’ll make sure to let you guys know when I’ll be back at home tonight.” You added, before sliding into your car. Reid closed the door gently behind you, waving from the outside of your garage as you pulled out and drove off.

-----

Case wise, the next two days were quiet. You had won the ‘going to work battle’ by a longshot and happily went about your scheduled days. Aaron hadn’t taken another watch shift since the argument, something you were grateful for. It wasn’t until the fourth day, that the case started to pick up again.

“Agent Hotchner?” A young officer stepped into the conference room, holding out a thick manila envelope. “This was just dropped off at the front desk, addressed to you.” That certainly captured the entire team’s attention; every head turning, as if off on a swivel, to face the officer.

“Who dropped it off?” Hotch demanded. ‘Who dropped it off?” He repeated, an added aggression in his voice.

“Some kid! Some kid dropped it at the front and left before anyone could get a word out!” The officer said hurriedly, raising one of his hands up in a meek surrender.

Hotch stepped up to the officer, easily snatching the envelope out of his hands. “Assure that my technical analyst has access to your entire security feed. Now.” He ordered, not giving the officer as a second glance. “Morgan, call Garcia and make sure she accesses those tapes and identifies the kid immediately.”

Hotch went back to standing in front of the long table in the middle of the room, setting the envelope down in front of him. “Gloves, I need-” A pair were placed in his outstretched hand by Reid before he could finish. “I don’t want anyone touching anything that comes out of here without gloves, understood?” He said, not looking at anyone in particular. His focus, completely drawn to the angry penmanship that spelled out his name. After quickly pulling his gloves all the way on, Hotch grabbed the envelope again, internally shoving down his emotions before ripping off the top edge in one clean pull. Nothing could have prepared him for the way the envelope was overflowing with hundreds of photos of you. He tilted the envelope and they all came falling out, covering the table in front of him. Reid mentally estimated there were over five hundred photos of you- some seemed to be cut, some looked to have writing and designs on them- and there were even a few slips of paper thrown in the mix.

“Hotch, Garcia managed to grab the plate from what the kid drove off in. She's running it-” Morgan said, his sentence running off as he took in the table full of photos. “Holy shit.” He said quietly, making his way closer to the table as well.

Hotch reached down, picking up the closest photo to him. There you were, standing on a boardwalk with your hand blocking the sun from your eyes. You looked beautiful- stop that. As Hotch further studied the photo, he picked up a second one, taking another good look. It struck Hotch and the team then, the majority of the photos were grossly intimate; as if the unsub had taken them by himself. Hotch’s stomach twisted when his eyes fell on a photo that looked like you were posing for it, throwing a big smile and peace sign up at the camera.

“Did Garcia get any hits on any scorned lovers?” Emily asked, holding up a photo of you and a man. The face and body of the man had been aggressively scratched over and cut up, but Aaron had a sinking feeling it was of him.

“Yea, I got another potential ex photo right here.” Reid said, holding up another picture. In this one you had clearly been looking up at someone, but the photo had been crudely cut up to exclude whoever it was.

Morgan held up one of the slips of papers, giving it a confused look. “You lost Aaron?” He said, reading off the paper. “What’s the reasoning for singling out Hotch rather than someone closer to her age like Reid” He questioned, not expecting anyone to answer.

“I got one of Hotch’s face scribbled over. He must’ve gotten the photo online.” Emily added, holding up a professional headshot of Hotch. “Is anyone seeing photos of the rest of us? The unsub could see all of us as interfering with his connection to Y/N.”

Hotch’s stomach was twisted in all different directions. He knew the moment of truth was coming and was internally cursing himself for not coming clean sooner. But that paled in comparison to the sickness he felt over the unsub clearly being someone who had such personal access to you. He was certain that some of these photos dates back years. The idea that whoever was doing this had been so close to you, for so long, could’ve brought him to his knees.

“Hotch…” JJ said, her voice accusatory. She looked up at him, face a mix of confusion and a hint of betrayal. She held up another photo and the entire team went quiet. This photo was clearly taken at a distance, but there you were looking lovingly up at a man who was certainly Hotch.

Hotch had one hand clenched tightly on the edge of the table, taking a deep breath before he looked up at his agents staring expectantly at him.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you all,” Hotch started, running his free hand over his face, “I met Y/N five years ago and we were together for three, until I ended things.” He was sure someone had audibly gasped at that. “I know you all may have various concerns over my proximity to the case and are valid in any anger you may feel towards me. But right now, I need to go call Y/N and make sure she’s safe.”

Hotch didn’t give anyone a chance to reply, instead whipping out his phone and near running out the door. Leaving a team of confused and shocked agents in his wake.

-----

a/n - of course, thank you all for reading. it means the world to me! also just the quickest of shoutouts to @kylorendrip and @ssahoodrathotchner who both constantly put up with my writing complaints and all the random ideas i bounce around their dms on the daily.

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no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own criminal minds or any of the character involved in it.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #hotchner x reader #hotchner x you #hotch #aaron hotchner/you #aaron hotcher/reader #'stori writes #in the stars #aaron hotchner fanfiction

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capaimagines · 3 years

Text

kim taehyung - sick & tired

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader | Genre: angst & fluff | Warnings: vomiting, weight loss, anxiety | WC: 1.3k

Request: hi there, can i please request a taehyung fic? How about the reader has an illness and is having a down and she breaks down to tae cause she's so exhausted and over being sick? thank you

It all started during your last year of being an undergrad. You were minding your own business, driving to school for your class when all of sudden, you didn’t feel too great. You got shaky and started having stomach cramps. You had to pull over in not the nicest area in town due to it being so sudden and you were running in and out of the gas station bathroom.

You were vomiting on and off, having the constant runs. You felt like you had a fever and overall just didn’t feel well. Every time you tried to get back in the car and drive, you felt it start up again and you had to run back into the bathroom. You had called your boyfriend at the time, asking him to please come pick you up.

He had and you had written it off as the stomach flu, but unfortunately, it didn’t end there. When you woke up the next morning you felt nauseous as all hell and got shaky again. You went to the doctor not too many days later and they told you it was just a bad form of the flu. Though, when it happened again for the fifth time in two weeks, you knew it couldn’t have just been the flu.

However, you couldn’t get any answers and just resigned to having to live the rest of your life this way. You would eat but it seemed like everything you ate made you feel sick as you’d end up throwing it all back up. In only a month, you had lost almost 30 pounds and looked sickly thin.

There were always dark circles under your eyes and you were exhausted. You weren’t sure how much longer you could go on like this. It was starting to overtake your whole life and throw you into a depressive state. You couldn’t even go out for your birthday this year because you arrived at the bar and immediately felt sick and started throwing up again.

First, you panicked thinking you were pregnant, but one of the doctors had tested for that and it had come back negative. All the drugstore tests you had taken came back negative too. You weren’t sure what was going and you wished you did because you were beyond exhausted at this point.

You felt like doctors were starting to think you were making it up and that it was all in your head. You had test after test and scan after scan and they never found anything wrong, which wasn’t all that bad, you were thankful they found nothing but it didn’t add up for how you were feeling. One doctor had suggested that it was just anxiety and stress from being in your last year of undergrad and with all the finals and papers going on that it was just taking its toll on your body.

While you could agree that maybe anxiety and stress played a role in it, you knew deep down that it couldn’t be exactly it. Eventually, you stopped going to doctors and just started dealing with it on your own. As for Taehyung, he knew something was going on but didn’t know exactly what.

He was extremely busy, being gone for days or weeks at a time because of his busy idol schedule. You couldn’t blame him for that; you knew what you were getting into when you had first met him. You were proud of him and wanted to support him where you could, which is exactly why you hadn’t told him about the severity of what exactly had been going on.

You knew he was stressed on his own with how busy he was. Having deadlines to meet, songs to record, and choreographies to perfect. You wanted him to be able to come home and feel relaxed and at home. So, you silently dealt with whatever was going on your own. Until you just couldn’t anymore.

He was finally coming home after being extremely busy. You had planned to cook a nice dinner but halfway through your shopping trip for ingredients, you had to ditch your cart and race home. You were sick. Again. Before you knew it, you started sobbing in the bathroom, tucking your head into your knees and crying your heart out.

You were so sick and tired of feeling this way and having no way to stop it. You just wanted to do something nice for you and your boyfriend and you couldn’t even do that. That was how Taehyung had found you. Curled against the bathtub and silently sobbing to yourself.

“Baby,” He murmured, sitting down next to you and carefully wrapping his arms around you. You immediately fell into his chest, sobbing even harder as you gripped on to his forearm.

“I-I can’t do this a-anymore, Tae,” You choked out in between sobs.

“Shh, just tell me what’s wrong baby. Talk to me,” He said, petting your head.

Your sobs became stronger along with your whole body shaking. He knew you hadn’t been feeling good but right now, he could really see just how much it was affecting you. Not just mentally but physically. You looked so thin, almost like a paper doll. Your skin was so pale and he immediately felt guilty that he hadn't noticed this all beforehand.

“I’m throwing up all the time no matter what I eat or drink, I’ve lost so much weight my clothes hang off of me. My hair is starting to fall out because I have no nutrients. No one believes me. I can’t do this, Tae. I’m so tired that I can barely leave the house without getting sick and needing to come home.”

He hugged you tighter, kissing the top of your head as he rocked you back and forth until your sobs died down and you had calmed down a little, “I believe you,” He said gently, turning your face to his and pressing a kiss to your lips, “I’m so sorry I haven’t been here to help you,” He murmured, pressing another kiss gently to your forehead.

“I didn’t realize how sick you were and how much it was affecting you. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You know I would have been here,” You shook your head, laying back down on his lap.

“I couldn’t tell you. You have so much going on already and I didn’t want you to worry about me. I didn’t want to stress you out more,” You told him honestly.

He chuckled, gently, running his fingers through your hair, “I’m your boyfriend, Y/N. I am supposed to support you just as much as you support me. C’mere,” He gently lifted you up and guided you to the bedroom before laying you down gently on the mattress, cuddling up next to you.

“How about tomorrow, we start getting some different foods, okay? A trial run. We’ll see what foods agree with you and what don’t. I can talk to my nutritionist too. She can meet with you and we can figure out some plans, okay? Little by little,” You sniffed and nodded, feeling that for the first time in months, someone was in your corner.

Someone believed you, “We can get you some new clothes for now too. We’ll go shopping first, okay? And I’ll go with you so I can be there. We’ll leave the minute you need too, okay? I’m here now, I’m all yours. We’ll figure this out, together. I promise you.”

You nodded, pecking his lips before letting the exhaustion finally take over. You closed your eyes and fell asleep quickly and for the first time, with hope that things were going to change for the better. Taehyung stared down at you with nothing but love in his eyes. How he wished he could take this all away from you. You deserved more.

“I love you,” He mumbled as he kissed the top of your head gently. As he fell asleep, he made a silent promise to help you through this. Even if you might never get a definitive answer, he was going to do what he could to ensure you lived a happy and normal life.

#bts #bts angst #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts blurbs #bts timestamps #bts x reader #kim taehyung #kim taehyung angst #kim taehyung fluff #taehyung #bangtan sonyeondan

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wen-kexing-apologist · 3 years

Text

Black is the Color of My True Love's Hair

Read here on AO3

Kaz:

There were many things Kaz loved about Ketterdam. He loved how the chaos of the city carried whispers, the way the Barrel opened itself up to those it trusted, loved how the markets were bathed in color when the tulips bloomed in Spring, and above all he loved the clocks, which rung music across the streets and kept his secrets safe within their chimes. Well, he usually loved the clocks. Right now, as he hurtled unceremoniously awake to their incessant tolls, he was concocting no less than seven schemes to destroy every last time piece in Ketterdam.

He sat up in bed, rubbing tight circles into the muscle of his bad leg, stretching the stiffness from his joints. He blinked the drowsiness from his eyes, glancing out the window to where the first rays of daybreak were just beginning to brighten the sky. He rolled out of bed, sleepy and slow, and limped over to his wash basin. He splashed water on his face and ran wet fingers through his hair, his footsteps fell heavy on his hardwood floors and he groaned in pain with every motion. The pain was always bad in the mornings, when the lack of movement made his muscles sore, when his knee didn’t want to bend.

“Tell me, Dirtyhands,” a voice muttered, and Kaz spun around in surprise. The anxious beating of his heart accelerated at the sight of Inej, eyes closed, blanket on her shoulders, and her face resting on his desk, her hair loose, wild, and draped across her arms. “How did you ever complete heists before I came along, with a walk as loud as yours?”

It shouldn’t have surprised him to find her here, the foggy edges of his memory recalled they’d been together yesterday, working until the early hours of the morning. Inej had fallen asleep first, and Kaz, not having the strength to move her, had continued his work until the dreams had taken him.

“Perhaps your ears deceive you, Wraith,” Kaz smirked, pulling off his nightshirt, wiping himself down. “I’m quiet as a mouse,”

“Big mouse,” Inej retorted, the blanket slipping to the floor as she sat up and stretched. She tugged off her vest, and began unbuttoning her shirt, Kaz watched her every move from the mirror, trying to steady his pulse as she drew closer to him. She met his gaze, a rueful look in her eye, a challenge and an invitation. He walked away before she could come to stand by his side, he wasn’t sure he would be able to control himself, he wasn’t sure he could survive his need to touch her if she had drawn too near. But that didn’t mean he was out of the game.

He could feel her eyes upon his back as he made his way to his closet, pulled out a fresh pair of clothes, and stripped himself down completely. Inej’s breath hitched behind him and he bit back a grin. It was terrifying and exhilarating to expose himself like this. But he was competitive and he wasn’t going to let Inej run circles around his temptations. He got dressed, moving deliberately, taking his time. He left his gloves off. He was smug when he turned back around, waiting to claim his victory. But it was quickly replaced by desire, warm and unexpected and delightful, at the sight of her, hair slick and dripping water in graceful lines down her back. She was running a brush through it, working out the knots and tangles, a thin strip of leather pressed between her teeth.

She was breathtaking. Kaz had marveled once, not too long ago at how, after everything Inej had suffered, she could still consider herself lucky. But seeing her like this, with the sunrise painting gold across her skin, with a calm that curved her shoulders, he was beginning to understand what luck could feel like. She buttoned up her shirt, then her vest, and picked her knives up from the desk. She brought each knife up to her lips, whispering a prayer before she tucked them back into their sheaths.

He loved the easy silence that settled in between them. Kaz spent so much of his day plotting, scheming, thinking, that he savored every second of silence he could find. Inej carried silence on her like a charm. Kaz was enamored, enraptured by her, he was studying her every move. When she had secured her last blade, she returned to the mirror, and began to braid her hair.

“Wait,” Kaz blurted, before he was even sure what he was going to say. “Would you teach me?”

Inej, already halfway done, stopped, and looked at him with nothing but confusion in her eyes “What?”

Regret and embarrassment turned his cheeks warm and red “If I told you I was deliriously exhausted, would you forget about that lapse in self control, and allow me to maintain my reputation as a widely feared and extremely powerful Barrel boss?”

Inej cocked her head to the side, batting her eyelashes at him, a giant, teasing smile spreading across her face. She came in close, putting mere inches between them, and Kaz wanted nothing more than to pull her to him, to feel her hand against his chest, to grasp her elbow and wipe that smug look on her face off with a kiss. “And give up the opportunity to blackmail the bastard of the Barrel?”

“Inej,” he pleaded. Inej had gotten him to beg , Saints, she was good.

“Why?” Her question was sincere and curious. Why do you want to braid my hair?

“I- I don’t know,” it broke something in Kaz to admit it, to admit he wanted something with no strings attached. “To see if I can? Because your hair seems so important to you and I-” I want you to know how important you are to me.

Inej’s eyes pierced through to his very soul, the flash of a smile flitting across her face. Kaz would have done anything for a smile like that. “Okay,” she said “This will be easier if you sit,” she nodded her head in the direction of his mattress. “You take the bed, I’ll take the floor,” Kaz obliged, ignoring the pain that radiated up his leg. Inej pulled her knees up close to her chest, her back straight as an arrow. After a minute she turned to look at him, apprehension furrowing her brow, “You have to actually pick my hair up before we can start, you know?”

“Right,” Kaz agreed, and sucked in a breath when she returned her gaze to the window, trying to prepare himself for the onslaught of crashing waves and rotting flesh. But as Kaz dipped his fingers into the ink that was Inej’s hair, the waters never rose, Jordie’s face did not appear behind his eyes. He let out a single, almost hopeful chuckle, when he realized he was fine. There was nothing in the feeling of her hair in his hands to remind him of the harbor. Jordie’s hair had not been as dark as hers, had not been as long; Inej’s hair was sleek and soft and cared for, it felt foreign and familiar against his skin. It was a comfort, it was a starting point, it was an illusion shattered by the realization that Inej had gone completely still under his grasp.

“Are you still with me, Wraith?” Kaz asked the air, pretending to be casual, heart pounding in excitement and concern.

“Yes,” it was a whisper as soft as a ghost. Inej’s arms were wrapped around her torso, her fingers resting gently across the hilts of her favorite knives.

Kaz dropped his hand and took a step back, his fingers twitched, wanting more. But he would not submit Inej to torture. “You sound like you are vanishing. I don’t...I don’t want to be the reason why you disappear,”

“You’re not the only one who has armor on,” Inej said simply. “Now, split my hair into three even sections.”

Kaz tried to steady his hand when he reached out again, why was he so nervous? He brushed his fingers through her hair, wondering if the first time had been a fluke, fearing he would be plunged into the harbor. But the waters never came, Kaz could not contain his smile. He separated out her hair, and thought of all the times he had seen her twist her plait together. Feeling confident in it, he tried to start the braid, but he wasn’t sure what he was doing, and she was sitting too far away. He knew it was for him, to make sure they didn’t touch, but it meant he had to lean awkwardly to reach the base of her neck. He lost his balance and accidentally pulled hard on Inej’s hair, still wrapped up in his hands, as he lurched backwards to steady himself. Kaz’s heart punctured beneath the sharp intake of Inej’s breath, and bled out against her knuckles, which had turned white, clutched tightly around her Saints.

“Sorry,” it was perhaps the second time in his life that Kaz had ever apologized, and the ease at which it passed his lips terrified and excited him.

Slowly, carefully, Inej moved closer, leaning back against his shins. Pain shot through his bad leg in a familiar arc, and he bit his lip and closed his eyes to prevent himself from grunting. The pain made him think of violence, of fighting, the only way he was usually able to handle any form of physical contact. The aching in his leg diluted the euphoria he felt knowing he could touch Inej, her hair at least, without bringing Jordie back to life, but it also saved him from drowning now, with her back pressed up against him. He knew what she was doing, he didn’t blame her for it.

Inej:

Tante Helene had been obsessed with Inej’s hair, the first day they met she had practically drooled over it, with thoughts of how much money such luscious locks would make her. She had been right. There was not a night that went by in that horrible place where someone else’s greasy fingers hadn’t felt it, tangled it...pulled it. Inej’s hair wasn’t just important to her, it was sacred. To have it handled so, it made her feel disgraceful, made her feel abandoned, cursed. When Kaz had shown up, before sense could catch up to her, she had thought it was a rescue, that she would never have to worry about such heinous acts again.

Kaz had warned her when they made their way out of The Menagerie that he was not taking her to safety. The Barrel was a wicked place, a hungry place, it took its pound of flesh from everyone. But, a small, naive part of her hadn’t wanted to believe him. It had only taken a few hours for Kaz to be proven right. It happened just as Inej had begun to feel comfortable, had begun to settle into the cacophony and the chaos of the Dregs. A newer member, Hendrik, someone with too little skill and too much to prove, had grabbed her by the hair and flung her to a darkened corner of the bar. She had imagined all the ways she could destroy him, clawing out his eyes, poisoning his drink, beating him bloody. She had wanted desperately to fight back, but instead her body did what it always had, what she had trained it to do, and she had disappeared. She had hated herself for it, hated that she had shown her weakness from the very first day.

But she hated herself more for having been so stupid as to believe that things would be different with Dirtyhands; that she could become more than just a toy to be passed around. As the last shreds of hope for a different life were suffocated by the hands upon her, a crow-headed cane connected with Hendrik’s skull. The corners of her coat turned red as his blood spread across the floor, she reveled in the sight of it and felt ashamed to have loved such violence. Kaz had been the one to save her that night, because of course he had. She hated the way Hendrik made her feel, like she was just skin, supple and pliable and at the mercy of another’s whims. Kaz had turned her to metal, turned her knuckles into brass, had sharpened her edges and given her claws.

Inej cut off her hair with the first knife Kaz gave her, it had broken her to do so and freed her all the same. She had regretted it, it felt like a betrayal to her former self, to her parents, to her Saints; but it was the one thing in her life she could control. Since then, her hair had grown with her, had grown to something no one else had ever touched. No one, now, except for Kaz.

When he’d asked her to teach him, when he’d said he wanted to learn, she had lost the rest of his request to the sound of her heart, beating in her ear. In all the years she’d been in Ketterdam, no one else had ever cared enough to ask her. When he’d first wrapped his fingers through her hair, years of memories came rushing back, she’d almost collapsed against their weight...and then he’d laughed, a small delighted thing.

Kaz was doing what she’d asked of him, he was trying to get better, and though Inej had spent most of her time in the Dregs working on her own weaknesses, she had yet to conquer this one. It wasn’t fair, she knew, to ask him to do something she wouldn’t do herself. She gripped her knives, because they kept her grounded, they kept her here, safe in the Slat, safe with Kaz. Inej realized, with tentative glee, that she liked this feeling, Kaz’s fingers running through her hair, cautious and gentle.

And then he’d lost his balance.

A fear she’d long forgotten crashed into her body, knocked the air from her lungs. Wrapped itself around her throat and floated upward, forcing her out, making her disappear. There were hands on her, in her hair, pressing down on her chest, holding her arms so they would not fight, or scratch, or claw. Her consciousness clung to the ceiling, her strength jumped out the window.

“Where’s your hairbrush?” his question severed the line, slamming Inej back into her body. Uh oh .

“What happened?” Inej asked, not sure if she actually wanted an answer to that question.

“I...got overconfident,” She wasn’t looking at him, but his words sounded almost sheepish. A different type of panic raced through her.

“I’m not cutting it again,” She turned to meet his eye, when had she leaned against his legs? “so if you mess my hair up, Kaz, we’re having words,”

“If I mess you hair up, Inej,” Kaz replied, his face firm, but eyes shining, “you can take your revenge, I won’t even put up a fight,”

“Well, that’s no fun,” she muttered, bounding over to the desk, grabbing her hairbrush, and handing it to Kaz. Kaz let his fingers slide over her knuckles, she could see the shiver that travelled down his spine, this was an apology.

“Then you can torture me in the meantime,” he whispered. Kaz stretched out his bad leg, keeping his other one bent. He gave a curt nod and a tight smile, and when she returned to her spot on the floor, she pressed her back against him and draped one arm lightly over his shin. With surety, Kaz began to brush her hair. It bit into her scalp at first, but he loosened his grip, and the teeth of the brush began to tickle, to soothe, the repetitive nature of the action brought her comfort. She hummed happily.

“What song does the Wraith sing for me today?”

“One from home,” she sighed, blissful and content and fully in her own mind. “This reminds me of my mother,”

Kaz cleared his throat “I don’t know that I want to do anything that reminds you of your mother,” Inej thought of him, naked before her no less than fifteen minutes earlier, and laughed.

“She used to brush my hair when I was young. She’d press kisses to my temple, twist my hair through her fingers. She taught me how to braid it, how to care for it. She’s the only other person who’s brushed my hair,” her head rested fully in his lap now, and when she looked at him, she felt something in him twitch. His forehead was sweaty, this was challenging for him, she figured she had let him suffer enough for his mistake and so she sat back up and put a little space between them. “Don’t get cocky this time, Kaz. Three even strands,”

“What next?”

“Grab the middle strand with one finger, and cross it over to the right. The strand that was on the right should now be in the middle. Do the same thing on the left side, middle to the left.” Kaz made a sound of acknowledgement, and started the braid. Inej was used to seeing him work, picking pockets and picking locks with confidence. His fingers did not seem so sure of themselves today, fumbling clumsily as he struggled to keep the strips of her hair separated. “And then just do it again, middle to the right, middle to the left, over and over until you get to the bottom,”

Kaz worked as methodically as ever, and Inej had to fight the urge to find a reflection of herself in the window, to check in on his progress. She trusted Kaz would do the best job he could. “And then?”

“Here,” she handed him the thin strip of leather. “Tie off the end, you can just wrap it around and knot it,”

“Alright,” Kaz said, and his bed creaked as he leaned back. But he didn’t drop her hair like she expected. Instead he ran a thumb across the plait he had just made. She thanked the Saints for the joy it made her feel, knowing that Kaz Brekker didn’t want to let her go. “I think I’m done,”

Inej stood up, flitting over to examine his handiwork. It was done with a quality she had anticipated, nowhere near perfect, but it would do for the day. It was a little too loose, and there were pieces of her hair that feathered out around the edges. Pieces Kaz had either neglected or that had already slipped from the braid. She caught the frenetic motion of Kaz’s hands, twisting a coin between his knuckles, and knew that he was worried, waiting for a judgement.

“A valiant first attempt,” Inej decreed, joining Kaz on the bed.

“Now, that’s a kind lie if I ever heard one,” Kaz’s eyes traced over the curves of her body.

“It’s not a lie,” Inej said, and leaned forward, “But, if you’re dissatisfied with the result, you are welcome to try again tomorrow,”

“I might have to take you up on that offer,” His eyes were glued to her lips, Inej could hear the way his breath quickened. And just as he started to close the distance between them, his sheets balled up in his fists, the clocks began to chime.

“I should be going,” Inej whispered, though she could not make out the words beneath the sound of her own yearning.

“Just one more second,” Kaz requested, sweating and shaking, he pressed a kiss to her temple, gentle as a ghost. He moved away instantly, swallowing hard, tucking his hands beneath his arms. He hadn’t been ready for that . The spot where he had kissed her felt electric, felt hopeful, felt empty, she wanted more, but Kaz did not, Kaz could not. His eyes were glazing over, he was about to be lost to the waters again.

She hopped off the bed to give him space, unlocked the latch on his window, and opened it to bring the air in. “Thanks, Mom,” she said with all the seriousness that she could muster.

Inej wanted a portrait of the look on Kaz’s face to hang above her mantle “Fuck you, Inej,”

“I don’t think you’re ready for that,” she said with a smirk, Jesper and Nina had definitely rubbed off on her, and she left him there, cheeks red, mouth agape, her braid swinging behind her, as if waving Kaz goodbye.

#*cries in kanej*#kanej my beloved #kanej fanfic #kanej #kaz x inej #inej x kaz #the crows #six of crows #soc #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #crooked kingdom fanfic #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfic #dirtyhands #ketterdam #the bastard of the barrel #the wraith

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ssa-daddyhotchner · 3 years

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The Struggle of Loving You - Chapter 5

Chapter Selection

It was radio silent for the next few weeks. Hotch barely reached out which honestly I expected. He had other things to worry about like his son and how the situation was going to play out. Based on the last time I spoke to him, Hayley wanted to try and work things out.

If Hotch had texted me I would've gone wherever he wanted me to. I wanted to help him but I guess everything happens for a reason. I had to think about school, what classes I was going to take and now that I was a senior starting October I needed to think about the FBI.

I was sitting on the couch watching tv when Chloe came inside the room.

"Look who I found", I glanced over my shoulder and Chloe held out her phone.

It was Hayley and she was with her boy toy, "She's still seeing him? Hotch told me she wanted to work things out."

Chloe shrugged her shoulders, "Guess not." What was Hayley expecting, that he was gonna let her back in and she was just going to hurt him again.

The thought brought a bad taste to my mouth, not in the mood to watch tv anymore I turned it off. I stood up and went into my room, grabbing my keys and walking out the front door. I just needed to drive, try and turn my brain off for a moment.

Again why I cared so much about a problem that's not even mine, I don't know. I wasn't with Hayley, she didn't cheat on me; it was Hotch. But for some reason I took it personally, maybe it was because of Jack? That now she didn't have time for him?

How she dropped her son off at her sisters so she can fuck someone else.

Maybe it was just the fact that I clearly cared for Hotch and Hayley hurt him? I was driving for one reason only, to turn my brain off and I was doing the exact opposite. I needed something to keep my mind busy, I called Andrew.

"You want to get some food?", I said to Andrew. "Alright, let me get ready.", I ended the call.

What we would even talk about I'm not sure, we weren't the closest. He was probably just going because I offered. I drove down the road and turned into Andrews apartment. I honked the horn twice. Then I saw Andrew shuffle down the stairs.

He opened the car door and climbed in, "Hey." I lifted some of my fingers off the steering wheel, like a wave. He caught notice of how quiet I was being halfway through the drive. "You okay?", I snapped my head to the side looking at him.

"What? Yeah I'm fine, I just feel like my mind is in overdrive right now." He clicked his tongue and leaned his head back against the seat. "You know there's a few ways to fix that problem." He looked at me.

I swear this man is so fucking dumb. "I'm not having sex with you", he cracked a smile and put up his hands, defending himself. "I didn't say that."

"It's what you meant." Putting his hands down and unbuckling his seat belt he got out of the car. "You're not wrong", we both started laughing at the thought. Andrew has had a crush on me since freshman year and it's something he still hasn't gotten over.

We walked up to the restaurant, going inside. We walked over to a table close to the window. Picking up the menus we started looking at the options although I already knew what I wanted. "What're you getting?", Andrew said setting down his menu.

"I'm like a five year old remember", he opened his mouth and signed. "Forgot about that, so the chicken tenders." I nodded enthusiastically, smiling.

The waiter came over and took our orders. "Why'd you really ask me here?", I furrowed my brows. "What do you mean?"

"Y/n I've known you for a few years and let's just say... you don't hang out with people unless they ask you first. Honestly I think this is the first time you've invited me out in 3 years. So tell me what's going on." I let out a sigh, dipping my head down a bit.

"Remember Hayley?", he nodded. "Yeah so I caught her having sex with another guy and I called Hotch to his house so he could see it for himself and I don't know I feel guilty."

"Why?", I shrugged my shoulders. I truly didn't know the reason.

"Because h- he didn't deserve it. How would you feel if your fucking kids babysitter told you that your wife was having an affair. Not just that but then called you to the house and you saw first hand your wife kissing another man. He probably feels like utter shit and-."

His full attention was on me, he was listening to every word; letting me rant and get the feeling out there. He knew that I didn't do it often. I would usually just bury it down and hope it never came back out.

The food was brought out and we ate it quickly now just in the mood to knock out again. We didn't during the car ride. I dropped Andrew off at home and he thanked me for the food. I pulled away from his apartment wanting to get home.

My phone was connected to the aux, and I got a call. I take a second to look at my phone and answer the call. I sat there for a moment, waiting for the other person to start.

"Hey", I said hesitantly. He didn't say anything, Hotch was thinking how it was stupid to call and that I didn't really care. "How are you?", he still hadn't said anything so I tried to steer the conversation.

"I'm good, I know I haven't really been in touch, I didn't wanna rely on you to help me get over this. Lately It's just been difficult. I feel like I need things to be somewhat normal for once."

I understood where he was coming from. Things were just falling apart for him, he used to keep in touch now he seems more detached. Like he was keeping things at arms length.

"Okay... how can I help."

He waited some time to answer, I was still trying to process what he told me just a few seconds ago. "Can you come over, I just need someone here I can actually trust." I turned the car around and headed for Hotch's house.

"Okay", I said probably quicker than I should have but I tried to make it seem like I wasn't too eager. He said okay then ended the call. I was stuck in my head yet again thinking about what he was expecting us to do when I got there.

Did he want sex? Was just going to use me... why the hell am I thinking this, he isn't like that.

I pulled up in his driveway and walked up to his door. Knocking a few times and he opened the door. I was slightly awkward, the thoughts from the car followed me in the house.

We both walked over to the couch, "What'd you need?" We sat on opposite ends, I think he just needed comfort but I wasn't sure. "I don't know honestly", I didn't know what to do, hug him? He was like me in that aspect. I know he has other people to go to for this, like Rossi.

Hotch didn't know what to do with his feelings, he's so used to hiding them away that when he can't anymore he doesn't know what to do with them. "Where's Jack?"

"With Jessica", he replied almost instantly. "It's getting late", I said standing up. Again I don't even know why I actually came over here.

"Don't leave. I'm sorry I don-." I sat back down and went closer to him almost right next to him.

"I haven't personally experienced this so I'm not going to lie, I have zero clue how you feel right now. Obviously this is taking a toll on you." Hotch let out a quiet 'yeah' and put his head down. I wrapped my arm around his back putting my head on his shoulder.

I felt him glance down at me and he moved his arm, it rested on my hip. He leaned back and I picked up my legs, curling up next to him. Sleep started to tug at me and while I drifted off I was in my thoughts.

What am I doing? Why the hell did I put myself in this situation? Nothing's going to happen... not that I'd oppose if anything did.

This is what he needs. Knowing him he didn't tell anyone about the separation. If he didn't I was the only person to really know about it.

#aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotchner #aaron #hotch #SSA HOTCHNER #Thomas Gibson #hotchner #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #Criminal Minds

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themadlostgirl · 3 years

Text

When It’s Cold (5)

*I had different, spicier, plans for this chapter and then the characters took off with the plot and had fluff instead.*

~~~

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

I had been way louder than I meant to. My body was pleased with the after effects of masturbating but my mind was paying the price. I had been peacefully asleep until another naughty dream of Felix entered my subconscious. It was late so I figured he was asleep and I could get away with being a little loud if I got a tad overwhelmed but I had thrown caution to the wind right at the end when I screamed his name.

Hopefully he hadn’t heard but it did nothing to assuage my worries. I need to get a handle on these hormones. Maybe I would feel more in control if I got something. The store sold condoms. At the very least if it turns out that he does want to have sex one day I can be prepared. I set out early that morning before Felix woke up and grabbed a box of condoms as well as some feminine products. I had forgotten I even got a period until I came to Storybrooke and time started its toll on my body which meant my bloody, crampy, moody friend was back to wreak hell upon me.

Maybe that’s why I had been so horny lately. PMS can be a hell of a hormone tornado.

I got back to the house and was happily walking back to my room to drop off my purchase when I heard music coming from the kitchen. Damn. I didn’t think Felix would be awake yet. I tried to sneak past but he caught me halfway through.

“There you are,” Felix said, “I thought you were still in bed asleep. Where’d you go?”

“Quick run to the store,” I waved the plastic bag in my hand.

“I’m making eggs, do you want any?”

“Oh sure, I’m gonna go drop this stuff off in my room first.”

“Okay.” He shrugged, “Oh wait,” he gestured for me to come back.

“Yes?”

He pulled me in for a quick kiss. “Just wanted to do that.”

“Sap.” I tweaked his nose.

I raced up the stairs and dropped the condoms in the drawer of my bedside table and stuffed my feminine products under the bathroom sink. There. Now come period or play time I was ready!

I went back downstairs and sat down with Felix for breakfast. The snow outside had really piled up. On my trip into town I saw a lot of kids out in their lawns making snowmen. Felix and I have stayed cooped up inside this entire time. Maybe we should go have fun outside too. Our entire lives used to be spent outdoors before we came here after all.

I mentioned as much to Felix and he shrugged saying it sounded like fun. We got dressed in our winter attire and I raced out into the snow. “Felix, help me roll!”

“Roll what?” he asked.

“I’m trying to make a snowman. I’ll get started on the lower section, you get started on the middle.”

“Alright then,” Felix stooped down and started rolling a ball.

I got a pretty big base done and Felix came over with his slightly smaller ball to stack on top of it. Felix started rolling the head while I gathered some rocks and sticks to decorate it with. “Arm here, and here, rocks for eyes and a nice rocky smile and ta-da! Snowman! Isn’t he a handsome devil?”

“He’s a pile of snow and rocks, darling.”

“Well how about this,” I dug my finger into the face of the snowman and dragged it down. “There, now he looks like you.”

“You’re hilarious.” Felix rolled his eyes, “He’s a little too short to be me though.”

“Nope. He’s a perfect copy.”

“Well you know what this means.” Felix started backing up, “If there are two of me that means one of us has got to go.”

“Felix! Don’t you dare!” I yelled, “Don’t kill Felix Junior!

“There can only be one!” Felix ran and tackled the snowman breaking all our hard work in half. “I reign victorious!”

“You are a terror!” I grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at him. “I will avenge you Felix Junior!” The snowball hit him right in the head. He stood up and gawked at me.

“You really wanna have this fight, little girl?” He asked as he picked up the discarded head of Snowman Felix. “We’re gonna have this fight!”

“No!” I started running away as Felix raced after me. The severed head of our snowman held high above his own head. I felt the force of it hit me in the back and I went tumbling to the ground.

“Gotcha!” Felix was already forming another snowball.

“Oh no you don’t!” I quickly made another ball and hurled it nailing him in the face. “For Felix Junior!” I started making more snowballs as I got up and started pelting him.

I was laughing my head off as Felix and I dodged around one another throwing snowballs. I got too close once and he grabbed me shoving a clump of snow to my exposed neck! “No! No! Cold! Cold! Cold!”

I dropped to the ground and Felix fell with me. He was hovering over me, that wide smile that only I ever got to see, bright on his cold stung face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Our battle lay forgotten as we sunk into it. His face was cold but his mouth was hot as he kissed me back.

“Truce?” He asked.

“For now.” I shivered, the cold and wet of the snow starting to get to me.

“Cold?” Felix smirked.

“A tad.”

“Can’t have that, can we?” He stood up and helped pull me to my feet. “Let’s get back to the house where I can keep you warm.”

“I like the sound of that.” I held close to his arm as we made our way back to the mansion. I changed into my comfiest and warmest clothes and heated up some hot chocolate for Felix and I. We sat down in the living room where Felix already had a fire going. A bunch of cushions and blankets littered the ground.

I sat down and cuddled up next to Felix. We sipped our hot chocolate while the fire crackled and music from the record player played softly in the background. Outside the snow fell in delicate flakes. It was a moment of pure bliss.

“Did you ever think we’d be like this?” I asked.

“Like what?”

“Cuddled together like we’re old lovers.” I smiled, “I certainly didn’t when I first met you.”

“A lot has changed since then though, hasn’t it?” He matched my smile and planted a kiss to the crown of my head.

“Yes, a lot has changed.” I sighed, “It almost makes me not want to go back to Neverland. I’m just so happy being here...with you.”

“You don’t want to return to Neverland?” Felix really looked at me now. “But it’s our home.”

“I’m not saying that I never want to go back to Neverland I’m just saying that I am really enjoying this time where it’s just the two of us. No other loud boys getting in the way. No hunting for food or sleeping on the hard ground. No bathing in a pond. It’s comfy here. Safe.”

“The privacy is nice,” He traced his thumb along my cheek, “I like having you all to myself.”

“Home can be anywhere we make it. Why not make it here?”

“Is that what you’d want?” Felix said, “To stay here and grow up? We’d become boring adults. The one thing we hate more than anything.”

“I don’t think either of us could be considered boring, adult or not.” I chuckled. “I don’t like the idea of growing old and dying but if you’re there along with me getting wrinkles and grey hairs then I fear it a little less.”

“That’s a big change. A big commitment. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. I don’t think anyone is ever ready to grow up. It just sorta happens. It’s the passage of time.”

“Does this mean you’re done looking for a way back to Neverland?”

“We’ve been searching for weeks. We’re going on two months and we have made no progress. Absolutely none. I think it has to do with the fact that we’re happy here. We’re not looking as hard as we should because we have a good thing going already. Tell me, Felix, if we found a way back to Neverland tomorrow, would you want to take it?”

“Would you be coming with me?”

“That’s not fair. You’re asking that cause you know I would come with you regardless. I am asking if you would stay here regardless of if I was here or not.”

“Wherever you go I go. I know that’s not the question but that’s my answer. You want to go back to Neverland we go back to Neverland. You want to stay here and grow up then I’ll be right by your side for that too. We’re in this together now.”

“Felix, I--” my brain tried desperately to catch up to my heart. What was I feeling? Was this love? I don’t remember the last time I felt love. I can’t even be sure that what I’m feeling right now counts but it is the closest to love I know I have ever felt. That didn’t mean I was ready to say it out loud though. “I am so glad that I have you.”

“I’m glad I have you too.” He kissed me slowly.

The rest of our day passed in a warm haze of dreamy sighs and feather soft kisses. We barely moved from our spot in front of the fireplace. Felix got up to heat up some leftovers for dinner and came to sit back down. The night was growing late and I felt myself nodding off. I didn’t want to return to my lonely bed though. I wanted to remain right here.

I rested my head on Felix’s shoulder and shut my eyes.

~~~

Felix hadn’t meant to fall asleep in the living room. But he didn’t have much choice after you fell asleep on him. He hadn’t the heart to wake you up. Not that he would have dared move from that spot in the first place. It was such a stark contrast to the hormonal hours of makeouts you and he had engaged in over the past several days. Today was all soft touches and meaningful words.

He was surprised when you said you wanted to stay in Storybrooke but what was more surprising was that he wanted to stay here with you too. Wherever you went he would follow. If that meant staying here and growing old then he was proud to do it.

He played with your hair as you slept. You had cuddled up right next to him and next thing he knew you were fast asleep. He gently reclined so he was laying down as well. You curled into him even more. Your head resting over his heart like a pillow.

What he wouldn’t give to go to sleep like this every night. Maybe he could. From the way you talked and how easily you fell asleep next to him maybe you wouldn’t mind sharing his bed. He didn’t even think about how else that could be misconstrued. Sex was an afterthought to the peace that was having you next to him. Your face relaxed and soft snores escaped past your lips.

“I adore you.” he whispered to you as you slept. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head and fell into a dreamless sleep with you in his arms.

---

(Previous) (Next)

#felix imagine #felix x reader #ouat felix #ouat #neverland #peter pan ouat #roommate au

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wocfics · 3 years

Text

My Only Sunshine

Part 3

Arranged Marriage Series

Masterlist

JHS x Poc Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Word Count: 4k

There was no doubt that Hobi was stressed, Y/N could see if, even if he didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. You knew the next couple of months would start to take a toll on him, especially since their tour was cancelled due to the current pandemic situation but they still had to make videos and be careful at the same time. Y/N had been in the studio as well, since being a dance instructor had no breaks, but it was okay since it gave you something to do. For the first few months, they were spent indoors with Hoseok and since they could spend more time than usual with each other, there wasn’t a day that went by that didn’t involve them tangled up in the bed sheets. The honeymoon stage was far from over.

After stepping out of the shower, Y/N got dressed in something more comfortable, grey sweatpants and a tank top. You had already taken Mickey out for his nightly walk around town and he was now curled up in the living room on the couch. Walking out of the bedroom after pulling on some warm fuzzy socks, you made her way into the kitchen to cook something. Being in quarantine really made you have more of an appetite. Y/N snacked a lot but Hobi never said anything about it as long as you were happy. Yeah, you did gain a few pounds but then again who didn’t, right?

Opening the fridge, you twirled the ruby ring Hoseok gifted you on your left ring finger months ago, trying to figure out what to cook up before Hobi came home. Deciding on some soft tofu stew, you grabbed the ingredients from around the kitchen to get started. There were a few times this month that Y/N wasn’t feeling too good, so you did get some blood work done and got a checkup just to make sure everything was okay. They were supposed to email you any day now with her results but it was most likely low blood sugar.

Halfway through cooking, your phone buzzed on the counter right when you were adding the veggies to the boiling pot. Wiping your hands on a towel, you checked your phone while the front door passcode was being punched in. Reading over her email, she looked up to see Hobi, taking off his shoes and dropping his bag down by the front door. Uh-oh. From the look on his face, you could tell he wasn’t having the best of days.

“Food will be done soon, how were rehearsals?” You asked, watching him make his way into the kitchen and kiss her forehead. You already knew the answer but you wanted to make sure he was okay, since he was gone for practice more than usual due to the new schedule. “It was fine. I showered there so I’m just going to change and come back for dinner.” He spoke quietly. You kissed his cheek and stared up at him. “Only five more minutes, okay? You alright?” You asked, tilting her head a little bit. He shrugged and deeply sighed, not wanting to get into right now. You rubbed his back reassuringly, watching him leave from out of the kitchen and turned back to your email to finish reading the rest of your results.

A message you were hoping wasn’t real but it was. “...your results show a 4-5 week pregnancy and would like to advise you to come in some time next week for a follow up appointment with the ob/gyn…” You continued reading before glancing up to make sure Hobi wasn’t coming out yet. “...two fetuses have been located in the uterus which can run as high risk in your career field…” Oh shit. “Fuck…” You breathed out and turned off the stove once everything was finished. Pregnant? Twins?! This was not happening. You knew how it happened but, you were only a year into your marriage, this couldn’t be happening now. It was too early and what would Hobi think? He wasn’t in the best of moods tonight, how were you going to tell him? It did explain the heavy eating and weight gain, and the migraines. Tapping your fingers against the counter, you quickly pulled out two bowls to place the stew in just as Hobi walked back into the kitchen. Setting the bowls down at the table, you grabbed him a Sprite and yourself some water. Sitting down across from him, Y/N watched him take a few bites of food before digging into your own.

You made sure to put some away for his lunch tomorrow and cleaned the kitchen while he grabbed his things from the living room and put dirty clothes into the hamper. You had to tell him, he was your husband and the sooner you told him, the better it would be for both of them to prepare for it. You took her time walking into the room, just to get into the right headspace for this conversation. From the way he was sprawled out on the bed, he was obviously waiting for you to join him. He removed his shirt but still kept his sweatpants on while he laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. Climbing into bed after closing the room door, Y/N laid down on your back and waited for Hobi to rest his head on your chest and wrap an arm and leg around you.

He sighed into the cleavage of your tank top and rubbed your side, which made you freeze for a second. You leaned down and kissed his forehead, brushing his dark hair from his forehead. “Tough day?” You asked. He hummed in response. “I’ve been working on this mixtape, I feel like I’m missing something from it and it’s been stressing me out is all.” He confessed. You grinned, rubbing her hand up and down his shirtless back. “You’ll find it, you always do.” “Yeah, plus I’m just nervous about this new album you know? We made it during such a difficult time, I just hope the fans love it.” He pulled you closer to him. “Hobi, they love it. I’ve been seeing so many positive responses. It’s exactly what they needed during a time like this. You and the guys are doing fantastic, especially given the circumstances. I’m proud of you and ARMY is proud of you.” He moved his head to look up at you and brought you down to press a kiss against your lips.

Humming against his lips, you sighed as his hands traveled up your back under your shirt as the kiss became heated. He moved on top of you, pushing his tongue past your lips. You moaned and pulled away before looking up at him. “I have to tell you something..” You breathed out, although that didn’t stop him from kissing and sucking on your neck. “Can it wait? I really want you right now, baby.” There it was. The bedroom voice. His menstruations continued, kissing and leaving marks on your neck as you closed her eyes. “Hobi...I’m pregnant.” You whispered.

His movements stopped, he leaned up and looked into your eyes. “What?” He asked before sitting up completely. Oh God, was he mad? You couldn’t tell. “I-I-I’m pregnant...I was just told today.” You said quietly. His face went blank, almost like his brain was processing what you had just said. “Pregnant? Like with a baby? Really?” He asked. You raised a brow and stared at him. “Um, yes? Like you know, we’ve had sex a million times the past few months-” “Y/N, I know that, it was mind blowing.” He chuckled and looked down at your stomach, sliding your tank top up and pulling off your sweatpants. “A baby huh?” He asked, scratching his head. “Actually...it’s uh, there’s twins…” You chewed on your bottom lip while staring up at him. He blinked a few times. “Aish! Twins?! How are we supposed to raise twins? What if one gets lost or we can’t tell them apart? We’ll never get any sleep, baby! Oh my God, what about sex? Can you even have sex when you’re pregnant?” He climbed off the bed and started pacing the room. You rolled your eyes and watched him.

At least he wasn’t upset right? Being pregnant was one thing but having two babies? At once? How was that going to work with your schedules already picking back up? You didn’t have any family in Korea. Yeah, Hoseok’s family was the best and very supportive and they loved you but, what would they think? Would they be excited? How would this work with him going on tour next year?

Sitting up and kicking your pants off the rest of the way, you stood up and grabbed his wrist as he walked past you, stopping and turning towards you. “I’m going back to the doctors next week, we’ll figure it out. Can you please lay back down?” You pulled him towards the bed, sitting down until he stood between your legs and brushed his hands over your curls.

You leaned back, bringing him down with you until you were back in your previous positions. He moved his head down and kissed your stomach. “I can’t believe this is happening. I always thought I wouldn’t have kids but now I’m getting two.” His cheek pressed against your abdomen for a few seconds before you pulled him back up to kiss him.

“I love you.” He pecked your lips a few times before moving down to kiss your neck again. “I love you too, Hobi.” Biting your lip and closing your eyes, you raked your fingers through his hair, wrapping your legs around his waist. You could feel his hands traveling down your sides until they reached your thighs, where he grabbed at the flesh and gently slapped.

“You’ve gotta be up in seven hours, you sure?” You hummed into his mouth when he kissed you. He moved his hips until they were grinding into you, pulling a moan from you. “Does that answer your question?” He sat up, grabbing the edge of your panties and sliding them off before doing the same with his pants. He never wore boxers underneath when he was home. He leaned down, capturing your nipple and began sucking on it, doing the same to the other as his fingers rubbed and pinched at the other.

Licking your lips, another moan slipped past your lips as your back arched into his mouth, your fingers locked into his hair. His lips moved back up your chest until they were connected with yours once again. No matter how many times you’ve had sex with this man in the past couple of months, you never got tired of feeling him inside of you.

You discovered so many different ways to please each other, what worked and what didn’t and what you both were comfortable with. It was shocking with how much Hoseok was open to, sexually but it only made your sex lives even more pleasurable. He was very handsy, always groping some part of your body which you realized was mostly your thighs and ass. That wasn’t surprising at all since the first time you two ever had sex, he had you on all fours just so he could grab at everything easily; he explained this to you one night.

Tonight, he wanted to look into your eyes. You spread your legs a little wider for him as he positioned his already hard member at your entrance and slid inside of you. You whimpered a little, allowing his tongue to once again tangle with your own as he slowly began to rock his hips back and forth, groaning into your mouth. One elbow holding him up while the other one kept your leg on his hip as he thrust into you at a moderate pace.

You could already feel the knot forming inside of you, begging to snap but another part of you wanted to hold out a little longer for his sake. Burying his face into your neck, his hips picked up pace as he huffed and moaned into the crook of your neck. “Why do you always feel so good huh? Still tight after fucking you everyday.” He nipped at your ear and looked down at you, pressing his forehead against yours.

You couldn’t respond back, your brain too busy registering all of the pleasure he was giving you. You only stared up at him, moaning and holding onto his shoulders as if you’d slip away somehow. Only curses left your lips before latched onto them once again, pressing his body flush against yours and thrust faster, the sound of your skin slapping against each other increasing.

“Hobi…” You whined, just as your orgasm rushed through your body causing your back to arch into his chest. When he slowed his hips down, you tightened your legs around him and shook his head. “Keep going, please...you’re not finished.” Your words came out slightly slurred, a chuckle coming from him. “I don’t wanna hurt-” “I’m fine, keep going.” You kissed him and closed your eyes as he resumed his speed.

Legs quivering as they spread apart once again, your moans became louder. When you heard his grunts and moans, you sucked your middle finger into your mouth while looking up at him with half opened eyes, while your other hand reached for something on the nightstand nearby. Opening the cap and biting your lip while grinning up at him. Squeezing the lube out onto your fingers, you tossed the bottle on the bed and moved your hand down to his ass, sliding between his cheek and rubbing at his hole.

He hissed, biting the side of your neck and groaning as you slowly eased your finger into him and began pumping in and out. “Oh fuck...I’m coming...shit!” He moaned into your ear as you continued twisting and thrusting your finger inside of his ass. Turning your head to the side where he was, you kissed his cheek as his thrusts became sloppy and you felt warmth within you from him emptying his load inside of you. You slowed your movements once he stopped and removed them when he gripped at your waist.

Once he caught his breath, he sat up and looked down at you, pressing a few kisses to your lips before sitting up and pulling you up with him. “You surprised me with that.” he climbed off the bed, grabbing your legs and pulling you towards the edge before lifting you up and carrying you into the bathroom. Holding onto him, you giggled and kissed the side of his head. “You loved it.” You replied as he set you on your feet in the bathroom.

He couldn’t lie, the first time you did it he wasn’t sure if he’d like the thought of your finger in his ass just before he came but afterwards? It gave him a natural buzz afterwards, which was much needed after the day he had today.

Smirking at you, he grabbed a cloth and soaked it with warm water before reaching between your legs to clean you up and then after, himself. You both cleaned up and brushed your teeth before walking back into the bedroom to put everything away and change the sheets. You looked at the clock and gasped. “You sure you’re gonna be okay tomorrow? You won’t be getting much sleep-” “Y/N, I’ll be fine. We’re just doing wardrobe fittings tomorrow anyways. We have a few performances to do in a couple of weeks.” He turned off the light and waited for you to climb under the blanket before slotting himself in behind you and pulling you until your back was against his chest.

________________________________________________________________

“And...there they are. Baby A is there and Baby B is right there.”

The doctor pointed at the screen while holding the wand on your gel covered abdomen. Hoseok sat beside you, smiling wide at the screen as a few tears rolled down his face. You were grateful that he was able to take the day off to come with you to your ultrasound appointment, and he informed the boys after they got some news from one of the other members themselves that same day. At least you knew you weren’t the only two getting busy.

The tech took a few screenshots of the small fetuses before turning off the monitor and cleaning off your small belly. Hoseok managed to quickly wipe his eyes before kissing the back of your hand. “So, you are definitely 5 weeks along. So during your first trimester, which is different for everyone, you’ll experience some changes in appetite, nausea along with some vomiting, hopefully not…” She laughed to lighten the mood while you sat up and fixed your shirt and put your sweater back on.

It was starting to get extremely cold out and the rain was non-stop for the past week so you didn’t want to risk getting a cold. As the doctor continued to tell you the symptoms, some of which you already experienced, Hoseok helped you into your coat. “I’d say to come back in another month so we can see if we can determine the genders of the babies. Your ultrasound photos should be ready out front, congratulations once again.” She bowed as you did the same, thanking her as you both exited the room and out to the front desk. Hoseok took care of the appointment dates and photos while you stood by the door and waited.

Once you two got into the back of the car, you rested your head on his shoulder and yawned. “Tired?” He asked. You nodded and snuggled closer to him. “I’ve been tired a lot lately, all I wanna do is sleep.” You mumbled. “Hungry? We can stop and get you something to eat?” He suggested but you were already sound asleep and lightly snoring. “Cute.” He whispered and kissed the top of your head.

________________________________________________________________

“Hey! Am I late?” It had been two months since your doctor's visit. With your new schedule and finding a replacement for your job until you could come back (which Hoseok implied that you didn’t need to work anymore now that you were pregnant and were going to have kids, in which you told him you needed to return after they were a few months old), you barely had time to even catch up with the girls.

Tae’s wife put together a monthly gathering of just the wives to her art studio so that they could bond better and catch up on their lives as well as order takeout and do some painting.

“Not at all, we were just ordering some takeout. Anything you want? I know your cravings are different.” Joon’s wife spoke while tapping away at her phone. You glanced over her fingers to still see, no ring on her finger. Eyeing the other girls, they all had the same look on their faces when you met their eyes before clearing your throat. “Bulgogi and japchae. Food has just been making me sick lately but those seem to be the only things I can keep down for now.”

Taking off your jacket and hanging up on the coat rack near the door, you took off your shoes as well and walked further inside, looking at the new artwork that was put up in place of the ones sold.

“Wow, look at that belly! Already?” Jimin’s wife smiled, nodding towards your protruding belly. One thing about having twins was that your stomach was going to grow twice as big as a regular pregnant belly. “Yeah, I know. It’s because of the twins so now it’s twice as big.” You rubbed your hand over your cream colored sweater. Yoongi’s wife grinned from where she sat, at her canvas painting an abstract photo. “Did you find out the genders yet?” She asked and you shook your head. “Next week. Hobi’s hoping for two boys.” You laughed while Tae’s wife brought you a cup of hot tea. You thanked her and sat on the couch in the painting room.

“I hope it’s two girls.” Jin’s wife spoke up, typing her curly hair up into a bun and pulling out a few strands. “Jin said when he comes back and we start having kids he wants all boys too, I hope we all have girls. Well, YoungMi is already here..” She pointed towards Joon’s wife. “But having all girls and having them be daddy’s princess? So cute!” She exclaimed which made you laugh as you took a sip of your tea and hummed.

Having two girls would be nice, but whatever the outcome, you hope they’re healthy and growing as they should.

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“Let’s see...Baby A...is a girl! Now let’s see Baby B…” The doctor moved the wand around to get a look at the second baby. “This one is being secretive, come on baby...there they are...oh a girl!” She laughed. You wanted to burst out laughing when you saw Hoseok with his jaw practically on the floor. “You owe me those pancakes for a week straight.” You reminded him. He looked at you and kissed your hand. “I was going to make them anyway. As long as they’re healthy I don’t care what we have.” He whispered so only you could hear.

You continued watching the monitor. The doctor doing the same to get in a few observations. “They are right on top of your bladder, have you been using the bathroom more than usual?” She asked and you nodded. “Way more than usual. About a few times during the night.” You confessed. She nodded. “That’s normal. Try drinking some peppermint tea, they might move around. Other than that you have two healthy girls, they’re growing just the way they should. Of course with you carrying twins, you have to be careful so no heavy lifting or anything that can cause strain on your body. There are some beneficial body butters to use on your tummy while it grows since it’ll stretch a bit more than usual. I’ll see you next month, take care!” She made sure to get a few extra photos of the ultrasound since you realized Hobi liked having them in his wallet and in his bags.

Once you were cleaned off and had your coat back on, you made sure to take care of everything and just wanted to get home to rest. You grabbed food on the way home and once inside you kicked off your shoes and scurried to the bathroom. Hoseok set your food down in the kitchen and took everything out of the bag. Once you finished up in the bathroom and walked back out with your coat in your hand and hung it up, you walked into the kitchen and sat down at the island.

Hoseok stood behind you and rubbed your shoulders while you ate your food. “My parents called, wanted to know how everything goes when we get back from the appointment. I’m gonna give them some ultrasound photos.” He rubbed the back of your neck, gently massaging it while you ate. You closed your eyes for a moment before nodding. “Definitely. We should do a gender reveal for them and everyone else. It would be fun.” You tilted your head up at him and let him kiss you before turning back to your food.

“You think I’ll be a good mom? What if I mess this up?” You asked. Hobi walked around until he was in front of you and cupped your face in his hands, pressing another kiss to your lips. “Everyone messes up, we’ll be okay. I promise. We’ve got each other and we have help from everyone else so even if we do mess up, they’ll be there to help okay? Don’t beat yourself up.” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and hugged you, you doing the same, burying your face in his chest.

You didn’t have the best relationship with your own mother growing up. Even now, when you told her about the news of your pregnancy, she didn’t seem too thrilled. Replying with an “awesome” and a thumbs up emoji. You cried a lot that night but Hoseok reassured you that she just needed some time to accept it.

You were going to due your best with your babies and give them everything you didn’t have as a child, especially with Hoseok there with you and the new family you formed here.

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