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babyleostuff · 10 months

Note

Heyy!! I hope ur doing fine :) can i ask an angst about mingyu or scoups falling out of love with you because they're falling in love with another idol (u being an non idol)

OUT OF LOVE | KIM MINGYU

☾₊ ⊹ currently playing: a thousand years by Christina Perri

summary | how does it feel knowing that the person dearest to you is falling out of love with you?

genre | angst

word count | 2k

pairing | kim mingyu x gn!reader

author's note | not going to lie, I almost cried while writing this

You knew something was wrong.

Mingyu hadn’t been acting like himself those past weeks, but no matter how hard you tried to figure out what was going on with him, you couldn't. It’s not like you guys had a fight, everything was as usual.

Except for the fact that you could feel something had changed in him. The weirdest part was that he didn’t want to talk to you about it, everytime you’d ask him if something was bothering him, he would deny and tell you that he’s fine.

It worried you, because Mingyu was usually very open with his emotions with you. It was one of the rules that you’d set at the beginning of your relationship, to always tell the other if something is wrong, so you could always help each other out. But suddenly, he started to brush off every one of your concerns, reassuring you that he was fine.

Which he was definitely not.

You even tried to talk to his band members, but none of them saw any changes in Mingyu’s behaviour, which made you wonder if you were just overreacting and that he truly was okay.

“Maybe we could go on a trip this weekend?” you asked, sitting down next to him. “Take the bikes and go somewhere?”

“Sorry, but I have to be at the company this weekend,” he sent you an apologetic smile, and went back to scrolling on his phone.

“Didn't you say that you have this weekend off, though?” You questioned.

“Something came up, baby. It’s important, so I have to be there.”

“Oh, okay,” you muttered, leaving him alone on the couch, not really feeling like talking to him.

And it’s not like he was very interested in having a conversation with you either. That was what worried you so much, he was one of the most talkative people you knew, even when he was tired, he could talk his head off. But now he didn’t even bother to ask you how your day went.

You couldn't even remember when was the last time where you’d sit together and watch a movie or even go on a walk, it was like suddenly he forgot about your presence and was focusing strictly on his work. You tried to convince yourself that the practices were draining him, and he was simply tired.

Day by day, your anxiety got bigger and bigger, and the emotions started to drain you from your usual energy. The exhaustion and heaviness settled within you was gradually building up, threatening to blow up any second.

“We’re going to perform this Wednesday, do you want to come and watch?”

A wave of relief washed over you, as you read the text message from Mingyu. Maybe you really were reading too much into this, and everything was fine? This simple text compelled your face to break into an uncontrollable grin, as a delightful sensation overtook you.

Feeling excited, you immediately picked out an outfit, even if you had still four days until the performance. But with the surge of happiness that began to well up inside you, bubbling in excitement, you couldn't wait.

When you met the next day, Mingyu still hadn’t addressed his weird behaviour, but everything seemed to go back to normal, as he was being his usual, charming self.

“So, which songs are you going to perform?” you asked, putting your head on his shoulder.

“Well, I can’t tell you that. It’s a secret,” he giggled, and pulled you closer by your waist.

“I’m good at keeping secrets. Tell me,” you insisted, and tried to make the best puppy eyes you could.

He simply chuckled and leaned in. Your lips met in a soft and tender kiss, like the delicate brush of butterfly wings. It was a slow and lingering kiss, infused with a blend of tenderness and longing.

As it drew to an end, you parted your lips slowly, your foreheads gently touching. A soft smile graced your faces, a silent acknowledgment of the depth of your love.

“I love you,” you said, and pecked his lips once again.

He didn’t say anything back, only patted your head gently.

“Let’s go home, it looks like it’s going to rain.”

At last, the day you had been looking so much forward to, came. You had done your makeup and hair, putting on the outfits you had chosen before. Happy with how everything turned out, you happily got into your car to get to the venue.

As usual, the boys did a fantastic job with every song, and you couldn’t be more proud of all of them. You sang and danced to every song, yelling the fanchants in excitement, having the time of your life.

You decided to surprise them, so after their stage ended, you went backstage to find the room they were staying in. As you tried to manoeuvre through the crowd, you noticed that a lot of other groups came to perform today too. As usual Chan was talking to Changbin, and you saw Woozi laughing with Hyungwon, so you knew Mingyu had to be somewhere here too.

Finally, coming from around the corner, you noticed your boyfriend.

But he wasn’t alone.

He was standing with a female idol, you recognized from some of the other stages. They seemed to be in a deep conversation, not realising what was going on around them.

Your gaze settled upon the girl, who was standing in a very close proximity to Mingyu, her focus entirely fixated on him. With a racing heart and shaking hands, you shifted your gaze to look at your boyfriend.

There was a noticeable softness in his eyes, an unmistakable gleam that reflected his love and adoration.

That’s how he used to look at you.

In their eyes, you sensed a profound sense of care and tenderness. There was a gentle curve to their lips, a subtle smile that played upon their face.

And that’s when it all made sense to you.

His distant behaviour, non existent dates, lack of physical touch, that he was so fond of.

Your world seemed to crumble before your eyes. Your breath caught in your throat, and your body freezed, as if suspended in time. The pain coursed through your veins, with an ache that resonated deep within your chest.

The world around you blurred into a haze, your focus narrowed solely on the heartbreak that surrounded you. The sounds of laughter and conversation faded into the background, replaced by a deafening silence that amplified your pain.

“This can’t be happening. This is just a nightmare.”

But it wasn’t. This was the reality.

As you struggled to make sense of your shattered reality, tears streamed down your cheeks.

And that’s when he noticed you.

A flicker of recognition danced across his face, mingling with an expression of sorrow. His eyes, once filled with love and adoration, now betray a tinge of sadness and guilt. With slightly slumped shoulders, his eyes darted away briefly, trying to escape your heartbroken gaze.

He whispered something to the girl, who didn’t even look at you, simply squeezed your boyfriend’s hand and walked away.

Your boyfriend.

With each step he took towards you, the need to run away was getting stronger. You wanted to escape this place and never come back. The air crackled with a mix of anticipation, nostalgia, and uncertainty as he stood before you.

It was a moment that carried the weight of your shared memories - the good ones, as well as the bad ones. Your heart skipped a beat with uncertainty about what you were going to hear next.

“I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to find it out like this,” he said, with a true and genuine sincerity in his eyes. Even now, you couldn’t bring yourself to yell at him. You felt numb, the silent tears still rolling down your cheeks.

“I will explain everything at home. Just wait a few minutes,” he uttered, and left you alone in the corridor.

Home.

What will happen now? Is this really over? Just like that?

Your mind was still racing a hundred miles per hour, as you drove back to your apartment, where you were supposed to meet with Mingyu. Surprisingly, you didn’t feel any anger, just a deep sense of sadness and resignation, as if your mind didn’t completely let you understand what had just happened. Just a few minutes after you entered your apartment, Mingyu walked in.

“I will explain everything to you. Please, just listen to me,” you didn’t say anything, you didn’t even bother to look at him. With a blank stare and hunched shoulders you sat down, getting ready for whatever you were about to hear.

“I met her a couple of months ago. We were doing collaborations with other idols for some content and we hit it off right away,” he paused for a second and looked at you to see if you were listening.

“At first everything was strictly platonic, we met a couple of times for coffee, just as friends. But then, it turned out that our comebacks were at the same time, so we spent quite a lot of time backstage and hanging out.”

“Then something changed,” you whispered, with a broken voice.

“Yes,” he said quietly. “I never planned for it to end up like this. But…” He hesitated, as if his next words were going to hurt you the most. “During our last tour I noticed something. We started to grow apart. Day by day, I could feel you slowly disappearing from my heart, no matter how much we talked over the phone or texted,” he admitted with a broken expression.

“We spent so much time apart, that each of us started to learn how to live by ourselves. And when I came back, we both were so busy with our jobs that we rarely saw each other, sometimes I even had to remind myself how your voice sounded,” he said, as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

You had to suppress the urge to come up to him, wipe it away, hug him and never let go. But you knew that it was impossible now.

You’ll never get to do that again.

“That’s when I realised that… That I started to fall out of love with you,” he sniffled, and hid his head in his arms, as his shoulders started to shake in a silent cry.

Amidst the soft glow of dimmed lights, you stood up to comfort the person who once held your heart in his hands. In that moment, you discovered a surge of strength within yourself—a strength that allowed you to offer comfort and understanding, despite the pain he caused you.

As you stood before him, his vulnerability laid bare, you found compassion stirring within your own heart. Your gaze softened, and a tender understanding passed between you.

“I just need you to know that I never cheated on you. No matter what, I would never cheat on you,” he cried and wrapped his arms around you.

Your bodies, heavy with the burden of sorrow, gravitated toward each other, seeking solace in the arms of another. The touch was delicate yet filled with a profound sense of tenderness and as you held each other, tears flowed freely, expressing the heaviness of your pain.

“Say something. Please,” he whispered into your neck.

A bittersweet smile graced your face, knowing that it would be the last time you’d hold him like this. Your hands trembled slightly, betraying the emotions that threaten to overwhelm you, yet they remained steadfast in their resolve to savour that last moment of connection.

As your bodies drew closer, the space between you narrowed, until finally, they meld together in an embrace that held a lifetime of shared experiences, joys, and sorrows.

“I love you Mingyu. I always will,” you could feel your heart breaking.

Your embrace lingered, as if you wished to freeze this moment, to capture the essence of your connection before you part ways.

As you reluctantly parted, your eyes met once more, now filled with a profound mixture of gratitude, sorrow, and acceptance. You hold each other's gaze, etching this final image deep within your hearts, knowing that this farewell is both a painful ending and a necessary step towards healing and growth.

“I love you too,” he whispered.

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yanderepuck · 28 days

Text

WHOOOA. SMUT AFTER LIKE A MONTH AND A HALF????? You all know why I was quiet. I was having a good time. But now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Perfect timing too bc it's close to Leonardo's birthday, didn't even plan that. You go me.

"Stay there, cara mia," Leonardo lays you down on his bed and pulls the blanket up.

You whine and try kicking the blanket off "I don't wannaaaa," you whine.

"Stay in bed or you're going to get hurt," he pushes you further into the bed. You protest about it but do nothing about it.

You start to giggle after a few seconds of silence. You're drunk. So very drunk. You quickly drank Theo and Arthur under the table. Then you and Dazai thought it would be fun to keep doing shots.

The occasion? The monthly family dinner got a little wild. You kept having a drink without realizing how much you had and when you tried to stand up you nearly toppled over.

So Leonardo picked you up and carried you to his room to keep an eye on you. Not the best room since if you do manage to get out of the bed there is nowhere to walk.

He covers you with the blanket again and pushes your hair out of your face. "Now go to sleep," he kisses you and starts to walk over to his desk.

He turns the light off, replacing it with a lamp on his desk.

"I not tired," you roll around, the room spinning even more.

"You'll fall asleep if you lay there," he starts working on something. You lay there, rolling around in his bed whining. You completely forgot about the concept of being able to get off the bed.

You fiddle with your fingers, you can barely even feel it and you giggle to yourself.

"Leonardo," you have a sing song tone to your voice.

"Yes, cara mia?" He doesn't know what to expect to come out of your mouth. You've been saying gibberish.

You giggle again. "I'm horny. Come here," you don't even bother looking in his direction. For all you know you are. You can't tell which way is which.

He sighs. "No. You're drunk."

"Come ooooon. I'm horny."

"I'm not having sex with you while you're this drunk."

"It'sss fiiine. You're my boyfriend."

"I'm not doing that, cara mia."

You huff and move around in the bed some more. You're quiet for a little bit making Leonardo think you finally fell asleep.

"Do you think skunks feel bad?"

"Wha-" he looks over at you, a very confused look on his face.

"Do they have anxiety? I have anxiety. I'd like to hold a skunk."

"I believe they get nervous easily. That is why they can-"

He doesn't even get to finish before you're onto your next thing.

"I also want to hold aaaaaaa," it's like you forgot the word and just drag your last one along.

Leonardo raises an eyebrow. "Cara mia?"

"Aaaaa SEAL. Baby seal. So cute. So fluffy. I want to be fluffy. I want to be pet."

"Please go to sleep," he turns back to his desk, officially knowing that it's going to be a long night. You don't stop talking gibberish, but you're talking to yourself for the most part.

"Hey! You're a vampire!" You say it as if you just came to the realization.

"Yes, cara mia. I am," he sounds exhausted.

"Why can't you turn into a bat? That's laaame."

Leonardo sets his things down and rubs his face with his hands, letting out a loud groan.

He turns to look at you, and for once you are actually facing his direction.

"If I fuck you, will you stop talking?"

You gasp excitedly. "Yes!"

You immediately fumble to get your clothes off. Leonardo comes over to the bed, getting his shirt off along the way.

You don't even feel him get in the bed, but you do feel him roll you onto your back.

"You're going to have to get me hard first."

"Take that cock out and put it between my tits."

You smirk up at him, a lot more straightforward then when you're sober.

"Well if you're going to say it with that much confidence," he gets fully undressed before half sitting, half hovering over your body. Putting his cock in place you then squeeze either side of your boobs, trapping his cock in the middle.

You move your boobs, essentially rubbing them against his cock. After a few times you feel him getting harder. Making eye contact with him, you lick his tip.

Hearing a moan come from him encourages you to start sucking. You squeeze your boobs tighter against him, wanting to feel how hard he's gotten.

You lick up the precum coming from his cock and finally let your boobs go. "Now fuck meee," you whine, so desperate.

It also reminds him how drunk you are. Leonardo gets off of you and gets your pants and underwear off. You quickly spread your legs for him.

"Come ooon. Fuck me hard, daddy," you whine, already rocking your hips.

"Stay still," he holds your hips, and just his touch gets you to moan. He gets between your legs and his cock slides in with no resistance, getting you both to moan. He wasn't expecting you to be so slick.

He buries himself all the way in you, holding your hips to keep you still.

"Ungh.. ahh... daddy... Fuck mee," you try moving your hips. "Fuck me hard, please!" You're already begging.

"Just let me feel you for a moment," his cock twitches and you moan. Every little movement gets a noise from you.

He spreads your legs a little more before finally thrusting into you. Your moans started off loud.

The rougher he pounded into you the more the room spun, but something about that made it feel even better.

You just wanted it harder and harder but Leonardo was still worried about hurting you.

"Ahh! M-more!"

"You have all of my cock already."

"M-more!" You moaned, arching your back.

After thinking for a moment he realized what you meant. He lets your hips go and grabs your tits, squeezing them. Your moans managed to get even louder.

Your hands are dug into the sheets, twisting and pulling at them. Leonardo leans down and kisses you roughly. You tried to kiss back but it was way too sloppy.

He frees one of his hands, grabbing your jaw to keep your head still to kiss you more all you could do was moan in his mouth as his fingers pressed against your cheeks.

As his thrusts got rougher, his tongue slid into your mouth. He could still taste the alcohol on your tongue. His other hand held onto your shoulder, helping him be able to get faster.

Your moans were starting to turn into screams. This is exactly what you wanted though. He let go of your jaw and without thinking you grab his wrist and move his hand to your neck.

He didn't think twice to hold your neck, squeezing the sides. You gasp and your body starts squirming from the overstimulation. You feel so close.

You buck your hips up then quickly dig your nails into his arm. His cock is now hitting a new spot and it's just what you need.

"J-just like- ahh!" Your voice was so airy, you had to force the words out. You shut your eyes tightly and kept your hips in that position.

Leonardo managed to push a little deeper in you and started to thrust even harder, at this point thinking of his own pleasure.

Your nails dig in more and you yell as you cum, simply making your hole even more slick, making it even easier for him to pound into you.

Feeling you tighten, he lets go of your neck, grabbing your other shoulder, holding you in place. Your toes curl and you squirm even more.

Finally after a few more moments he thrust himself deep into you, letting his cum spill out. He moans loudly, and slowly loosens his grip on you.

He sits up once you let go of his arm, you lay there motionless, your chest heaving.

"Better?" He slides out, giving you a smirk.

"Mmm, that felt sooo gooood," you practically purr.

"Good. Now that means you can sleep," he helps you get your pants back on. He only buttons two of the buttons on your shirt, not worried about the rest.

As you get comfortable again he gets his own pants on. He covers you with the blanket.

"I'll come lay with you in a moment. Go to sleep."

You hum softly, content now, even if the room is still spinning and you still feel fuzzy.

Leonardo goes back over to his desk to quickly finish what he was on and to clean up.

You're laying in bed, quiet, by the sound of your breathing it sounds like you are already asleep.

"Leonardooo."

He jumps a little. "Yes, cara mia?"

"Is the Earth alive? Like does it feel things when we dig into it? Or what about fire?"

"Cara mia.."

"Does it hurt? Can it feel-"

"Didn't you agree to stay quiet?" he groans and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?"

Leonardo just groans as you continue talking nonsense

Tag list~

@kissmetwicekissmedeadly @fang-and-feather @xalxtusxiao @namine-somebodies-nobody @ana-thedaydreamer @evil-quartett @ameyoruakiikemenseries @yrenesposts @tele86 @damekathearasi @lokis-laugh @candied-boys @breadmercury @aquagirl1978 @xenokiryu @nightghoul381 @vampiricpancake @lulu-the-smol-floof @faust-bite @floydsteeth

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #smut smut smut #smut thats based on real life experiences

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the-milk-monarch · 4 months

Text

☣︎ Maybe I'll add a part two sometime with Vito, Cody and Scott but for now damn that was exhausting

[𝚂𝙿𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙾𝚃𝚃𝙻𝙴]

[𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘]

⚠ | setting: Total Drama Island AU

Most of the people who joined Total Drama have already been eliminated, and so were you. You didn't mind though, as you got to enjoy the positive side of losing - Playa Des Losers.

It was a lazy evening, most of the folks were busy doing their thing, but you were getting kinda bored.

You thought you were doomed with the boredom of yours, until you heard Chris McLean's voice through the speaker.

"Hey happy campers! Guess what. Do you want to win some money, even as a loser?" Were the words you caught.

Some contestants turned their heads towards the source of the sound.

"That's right!" He exclaimed. "You know how on TV there's always some fun hanging out time scenes between the contestants? Well you seem to lack at your job so I'm here to fix it!"

You slightly rolled your eyes at his words. You were a bit of a social anxiety filled loner, but he doesn't have to point that out.

"If you wanna earn a few additional bucks when going home, a measly $100, you're gonna have to play spin the bottle!"

You noticed some gasps, laughs and confused looks from the other people.

You thought the idea is a bit childish, but free 100 bucks is 100 bucks, so you didn't plan to turn down that idea. You were already a loser, so why not get the extra money?

All of the willingly participating contestants joined a shared space near the pool in a small gathering.

You sat down somewhere as well, awaiting further instructions.

Chris instructed for someone to take the bottle and spin it.

"Heather!" He shouted, making the girl turn her head towards the speaker. "You're gonna start! Spin the bottle and give a dare to a fellow loser."

She exhaled through her teeth, making a little "psh." noise.

"Alright."

Her hand twisted the bottle and sent it into a whirl.

"Hey, Chris!" Heather shouted before asking a question. "You want some bonding time, huh?"

Finally the bottle chose it's victim - to your surprise - it wasn't you.

"Yeah?" Chris's voice echoed around, a bit curious.

You were unsure what Heather had prepared, but you knew it wouldn't be anything easy.

"Well then, since Y/N arrived not too long ago, and I observed them hanging around a particular someone recently, why not pull them closer together?" She had a smug smirk on her face, which made you quite worried now.

"Kiss Y/N." Her finger pointed at you.

[𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎]

"Wh- Wha-" Mike lost balance and nearly fell from the chair he was sitting on as he processed the dare.

You also reacted with a subtle and baffled gasp bordering on"wha-".

"But- What? Why? I can't do that, what if Y/N doesn't want to?" He quickly bombarded her with questions, a bit embarrassed he had to discuss this in front of you.

"Then they'll have to take away your chance at the money." She assumed, innocently shrugging her shoulders.

Upon hearing the dare, Chris once again joined into the convo through the speakers.

"Oh, I forgot to mention, both participants get the 100 bucks to share if they fulfill their dare. Fifty-fifty each." He elaborated.

"And no forcing fellow contestants if they don't want to do the dare. That's not cool, dudes." He felt the need to add that last part, especially for TV.

Mike looked at you with anxious puppy eyes, uncomfortable with the idea that Heather came up with.

You froze a bit.

How could Heather figure out you had a sweet spot for Mike?

You thought you weren't that obvious, Mike never commented on it.

You blinked twice before returning the gaze at him.

"Eh- I don't know if- If you wanna do that, Y/N?" Mike started to sweat a little.

You felt the rising anxiety inside you, was Mike gonna comment anything on Heather's comment?

"I mean, I'd never want to make you uncomfy-" He trailed off a bit before you cut him off.

"Um, no- I mean- I-" You noticed you started to babble so you finally just said the most appropriate response you could think of at the moment with a nervous grin. "Sure, let's get the money."

You could see a bit of Mike dying inside after he heard your approval.

Mike got up from his seat, slowly coming towards you with his hands close to his chest, fidgeting slightly.

You awaited your "doom", feeling as if the time became slower.

All of the losers' eyes were on you both, expecting something to happen.

He met your gaze once he was close enough to you.

You stared at him, trying to keep a straight face and not disclose what was going through your head at the moment.

"Alright then- I'll, uh, start-" He said meekly, nearing closer to your face.

You started looking at his red cheeks until a kiss took you by a surprise.

You were fully expecting a kiss on the lips, but instead you felt it on your cheek.

Guess you shouldn't be greedy.

Mike immediately backed out after he was done, but not too fast so you'd think he finds you particularly repulsive.

You felt the corners of your lips turn into a bashful smile that you couldn't control.

You felt kind of stupid when your first kiss with him was because of Heather, though. You hoped it didn't scare Mike too much.

Mike had one as well, albeit much more worried than yours.

You noticed him hurry back to his place, with his face still subtly red.

[AFTERMATH]

After the whole thing was over and everyone went their separate ways, you tried to find Mike.

You didn't want to leave on an awkward note and you wanted to explain some things. You decided it was time to.

You spotted Mike helping himself near the snackbar, away from other people.

You didn't know whether he wanted to be left alone or not, but you approached anyway.

Mike immediately turned his head as he heard you clearing your throat.

"O-Oh, Y/N, hey!" He greeted you with a slightly nervous, yet still kind grin.

"Oh no, they're here-"

"Hey Mike." You politely reciprocated, trying not to panic inside.

"Okay, calm down. They only came to talk. Maybe- Maybe it's not about that kiss?"

"Um... What's up?" He also tried his best so the situation wouldn't be awkward.

"So... The bottle thing." You gently started, stopping for a moment to regain your thoughts on the topic which were being drowned in your worries.

"They are gonna talk about that kiss. No, no, no, no-"

His face changed for a second into a look of doubt and anxiety which was quickly covered with a smile.

"...Yeah? What about it?" He quietly gulped.

"Well- I- Hope this doesn't- You know." You felt as if your mouth forbid you from forming proper sentences.

"Y-Yeah, me too- It was-" He felt himself being tongue-tied as well.

"It was what, Mike? Nice? You can't say that!"

You and Mike shut up as soon as you realized you're both just as hopeless.

After a moment of silence, you finally heard a pathetic and tense chuckle coming his way.

You were about to panic even more, thinking he's laughing at you, but the thought that he was as nervous as you prevented you from doing that.

"Honesty is the best way to go, right? Just be normal for once."

"Sorry. Guess it got to me more than I thought." He finally admitted without beating around the bush. "I- I don't want you to think I'm a weirdo because of that, though."

"What? No-" You quickly denied that, making him visibly less worried.

"I-" Words yet again got stuck in your throat, which started to piss you off a little. Mike could do nothing but listen intently to what you were about to say.

"I-If you promise to also not think I'm a weird for what I'm about to say, then-" You tried to put on a confident facade as you started fidgeting with your hands a little.

"Of course not!" Mike quickly chimed in, now even more desperate to hear your response. "I promise."

You knew if you screw this up, it'd be game over. The words finally flew out of you.

"I- kinda hoped you'd aim for the lips."

You saw Mike freeze the moment he processed what was being said to him.

"Aim for the lips."

You broke him. The four words were floating in his head, covering every free space in it.

You remained tense and quiet, dreading each second he didn't reply.

Finally he got to his senses and slightly shaked his head.

"I- I'm sorry, it just took me by a surprise-" He couldn't cover the red that was on his face after that info. "Usually people try to get away from me, you know?"

It was your turn to let out the meek chuckle that was forming in the back of your throat.

"Yeah- Well- Not me." You admitted.

"U-unless you want me to-?" Anxiety got a hold of you once again.

"N-no!" He tensed up once more, slightly reaching out his hand towards you as if you were about to run away.

Until he realized his reaction was a bit too much.

"I mean-" He instead quickly scratched the back of his head with the hand that he extended prematurely. "Y-You can stay."

"I- I hope they're being honest."

He waited a second before speaking once more, leaving you with anticipation.

"...You can even- come closer, if you'd like."

You noticed the familiar, sweet toothy grin that was coated with an unhealthy dose of worry and hesitation.

You took a step forward, making Mike subtly cower.

"...Yea?" Shy but reassuring smile appeared on your face.

You didn't fully realize how tall he was before you stepped closer. Usually it wasn't a problem to look him in the eyes, but because of the close proximity you had to move your head up to face him.

If his focus wasn't entirely on you now, Mike's second worry would be his profuse sweating.

"Well- Um- Y-You won't get money for it, but if you're still interested, I could..." If it wasn't for your very close distance, you'd almost miss Mike's murmur.

Fortunately, you managed to catch it all.

With this reassurance, you reached out your hands so they could hold Mike's face.

You felt his cheeks getting even hotter with your touch.

Smooch.

You heard a surprised half whimper and gasp come out of him as soon as your lips touched.

He looked at you like a deer in the headlights as you pulled away from the kiss, knowing he already lost the battle with his face showing all the emotions coursing thru him.

"You know, that 'pay-off' is enough for me."

[𝙼𝚊𝚕]

Mal was sitting in the corner, the only indication that he participated in the game was his place near the pool.

Not too long ago he was sulking about his recent "unfair" elimination from the show he planned to win and so he was extra grumpy from the moment he arrived.

He almost stopped paying attention to whatever unimportant was happening until he noticed the bottle pick him.

"Kiss Y/N." He heard Heather's dare.

"What am I, fucking 14?" He bluntly spat out his annoyance at the childish topic.

"This is a family friendly show, Mal. Language!" Chris had to beep out Mal's profanity for sure.

You just sat there, frozen with the implications of the dare and what Mal might possibly think about what Heather said now.

Mal obnoxiously rolled his eyes, as to show his irritation further.

Suddenly you felt his piercing gaze sizing you up.

It made you tense.

"Y/N sure seems to act out their crush like a teenager. Make a move already, sweetie." Heather mocked you with the audacity of sounding like she doesn't even care about it.

She couldn't actually have a clue about you actually being interested in Mal, though.

She disliked Mal as much as Alejandro, knowing he's a proper rival to her, and with your "fascination" with him, you were more inclined to hang around him.

You were just in a "wrong place at a wrong time" and she wanted to make a jab at him.

"Well, Y/N, are you 'above 14' and up for it?" Chris dared to joke as he waited for your response.

"Uh- Yeah- Okay." You nodded while saying, albeit a bit quietly from the shock that was still in your mind.

Mal sighed dramatically as he so gracefully got up his butt to slither your way.

His walk was careless but still arrogant, matching his opinion about the topic.

He looked at you from above as you were still sitting on your place.

His face got closer as he bent to whisper in your ear.

"You really up for it?" He asked with a mix of "i don't care" as well as some not so subtle mocking and teasing grin. "With me?"

You avoided looking at his eyes to not betray too much, although you were sure that if Mal weren't conveniently casting a shadow on your face with his, he'd be able to see your blush.

"Yes." You managed to spit out, hoping that your attempts at being casual worked. "...For the cash righ-"

You tried to explain yourself further so he wouldn't take you for a pining weirdo, but you were promptly stopped by his lips touching yours.

You yelped quietly as he pulled you into a deeper kiss that you were not prepared for at all, grabbing your chin.

Mal wanted to make a show and so he did, much to everyone's surprise.

Heather's eyebrows even raised in shock, but they were nothing compared to yours.

After a not so steamy make-out, he finally backed off, leaving you with a need to process what happened.

"Oh, what a terrible fate. Truly embarrassing. Get a grip." He made a disgusted face at Heather, leading the point further with how stupid the idea was.

Mal was above the silly dare and so he didn't make a fuss about it.

He just wanted to shock people for his own amusement, per usual.

And maybe even subtly express his anger at people trying to make kissing him out of all people a "terrible fate".

He moved back to the place he was sitting on before, leaving you with a memory of the situation burned into your brain.

[AFTERMATH]

He was always good at reading people - skill he had to develop due to his upbringing.

So he didn't really worry about being in the wrong in the situation.

The smug brat knew you were into him, seeing your behavior around him.

After the game was over and everyone had fulfilled their dares, he approached you when you were least expecting it.

"Hey, lovebird." You heard the voice you knew too well, from someone you wanted to avoid for the moment.

Mal noticed your visible flinch as he went up to you from behind and chuckled under his breath.

"Not so happy to see me now?" He gazed at you while crossing his arms with cocky amusement. "I thought you enjoyed yourself not too long ago."

You had to wait a moment before the words could properly formulate in your mouth. You were baffled that he had the audacity to taunt you with it so casually.

Mal waited out your silence with an eye roll.

"Come on, I don't have all day." He impatiently hurried you, making you regain your voice.

"I-" You had trouble looking him in the eye after what happened.

"I am- not displeased by seeing you." You nailed it.

(No you didn't.)

"That's a step in the right direction." He concluded and dared to show you a mocking smirk, stepping closer. "But how about you admit that you're very happy to see me?"

His shameless cockiness and nonchalance thrown you off a little. You weren't sure if he was playing a cruel joke on you .

You decided to turn the question on him, somewhat smoothly.

"Well- It seems you are. Why else would you come to see me?" You replied with fake confidence, hoping it'd fool him.

Mal only chuckled at your attempt at being cool.

"Well, I can't deny I've been thinking about you." He once again managed to shut you up with a shit eating grin.

You remained silent for a longer second, obviously not knowing what to respond.

"You seem very speechless today, dear." He raised his brow amused, he was clearly thriving on making you uncomfortable.

"Don't get me wrong, it's adorable. But a conversation is a two way street, you know?" He was becoming bolder the more he saw you squirm.

"You don't really give me easy things to respond to, you know." A bit of truth escaped from you. He got you.

"Oh, I'm very well aware." He grinned and tilted his head confidently. The way he was staring at you made you feel very small. "What's wrong? Too afraid to say something?"

"Did you really come here only to make me feel stupid, or-" You tried to remain casual, but a bit of anxiety managed to fall into your response.

"Oh, the fun part of seeing you all shy and stumbling over your words is just a plus." He exhaled with amusement. "Besides, you don't need me to think you're stupid, you're doing a good enough job all on your own."

You furrowed your brows a little. So you were right. He was just making fun of you?

Mal rolled his eyes. You obviously weren't reacting how he wanted you to, but he wasn't about to give up.

"Why don't you just be honest for once? You seem awfully tense for such a simple conversation." He pushed your limits a bit, testing what made your nerves tick.

You sighed with both frustration and hopelessness.

Your mind was too preoccupied with thinking what a fool you were potentially making of yourself, you didn't even realize how many signs Mal was giving you. In his own way.

"... Okay." You started to gain some courage to finally speak up.

"There we go." The corner of his mouth curved into a sly smirk for a moment. He seemed pleased with his success, but made no move to make his intentions clearer.

In fact, his expression changed from smug to an impatiently raised brow, daring you to make the next move.

"Yes, I am into you." You finally decided to stop stalling and say the obvious. You tried your best to hide your embarrassment and fear of rejection on your face, which made Mal's eyes flash with curiosity and something else.

Mal looked pleasantly shocked for a moment, but quickly regained his composure and the smug expression came back.

"Finally, someone's not afraid of saying it." He paused for maximum dramatic effect, as if he'd been waiting for this moment. After the pause he leaned in close, bringing his face close to yours.

When the tension was highest between you two, he abruptly backed away and smirked at him again.

"You'll have to do better than admitting you're into me, though." He once again tested you.

"Huh- What else do you expect me to say?" You turned your head slightly, a bit dumbfounded by the demand.

"Oh, you don't have to say anything." He then took you by the waist, making you squirm a little by the sudden contact.

"You could always express yourself with actions…" He smiled devilishly, his brown eyes never leaving yours. He kept his hands resting on you, enjoying how awkward and nervous he made you.

Your face was undeniably at least a bit red by how quick it all went down.

Nonetheless, you wouldn't forgive yourself if you screwed this up when the fate gave you a chance to kiss your object of affection twice.

[𝙽𝚘𝚊𝚑]

"...What?" He stared at Heather with his skeptically raised eyebrow, which was conveying more so confusion and bafflement at this point.

You couldn't help but look at Heather the same, except with even more surprise.

"No hard feelings Noah, I don't care." She "lightheartedly" said. "But Y/N here..."

You knew Heather would start picking at you sooner or later.

You didn't really have a good relationship with her, and few days ago she seriously started to piss you off.

You had a little altercation before all of this but you didn't really think it was something to dwell on.

Apparently Heather thought the opposite.

Noah's face stayed the same until his expression softened into something else, but was promptly changed back.

"Wow. Really mature." He discarded her attempt at clowning on both of you.

"Well, dare's a dare, ain't it?" She repeated the rules of the game, shrugging carelessly.

He took a long and hesitant sigh as he lazily made way towards you.

You followed his moves with your eyes, finally meeting his as your gaze landed on his face.

"...Eh-" He stopped for a moment, cringing internally. "So- You okay with proceeding?"

"Yeah-" You nodded, sensing the awkward atmosphere.

Noah didn't make much effort to blow the kiss out of proportion.

He just smooched your lips in a quick manner and then, without a word, moved to his seat.

You tried to copy his demeanor towards the situation, not making a big deal out of what happened.

Your eyes wandered around the place after, but you managed to catch a glimpse of Owen playfully nudging Noah and letting out a silly giggle.

[AFTERMATH]

You couldn't bear the thought of the tense note you left off with Noah.

You felt immense second-hand cringe for Noah, who visibly didn't want to end up in the situation.

Even though it was a dare both of you accepted, you didn't want him to associate you with a gross memory.

So you gathered all of your confidence to go talk to him.

You noticed him reading a book somewhere in a secluded place.

You thought it's normal, since most people prefer peace and quiet while reading, but you also knew Noah was able to read just fine around other people to, if he wanted to.

You weren't about to question him about that, though.

He was deeply focused on his book, so when he heard you clearing his throat, you noticed some alarms going off in his brain as he saw you.

"Hey-" You awkwardly started.

He subtly stopped himself for a moment, grabbing his book and putting it down so that he'd show his attention is on you.

"Hey." He reciprocated your greeting, responding flatly but not maliciously.

You were a bit lost with how to start, so you just talked on the spot.

"So like, I know we don't really talk, but I just wanted to make sure that it's not, uh, weird between us because of Heather's immaturity." You explained as best as you could.

It was true, you and him weren't really close, but you also never shown any maliciousness between each other, and you wanted it to stay that way.

He digested your words for a moment as he searched for a proper response.

"I'm not affected by Heather's stupidity. It's not contagious." He summed it up in calm but witty manner. "Why would I be weirded out by an immature dare?"

"Right- That's cool then-" You tensed up slightly, but his response was also a bit relieving.

"... Unless it's you who has a problem?" He asked, raising his brow.

His expression stayed analytical and with a healthy dose of skepticism, but there was also a part of soft insecurity thrown in.

"No, no!" You quickly chased away his allegation.

Both of you once again found yourself in an uncomfortable silence.

You haven't made a peep, but you swear you could hear some quiet and unsurely irritated sigh from Noah as you planned to end this interaction.

Suddenly he opened up his mouth. "Well then, as we established-"

He tried to keep his words as casual as they come, with fear of coming more awkward than he intended te situation to be. "I think we should just, move on, and stop acting like it's a big deal."

"Yeah. You're right." You agreed with a nod, yet still felt a bit blursed about the fact that now you had your crush's attention on you.

"I mean, it's not like it was a first kiss on a school trip." You tried to joke to make the moment lighter.

"...Yeah." Noah's response came off a bit flat, with his movements becoming stiffer, but his expression remained a mystery.

"... It wasn't your first kiss, was it?" You blurted out without thinking over what you're gonna say.

You noticed the surprised and a bit called out face of his.

"Yeah- no way. You're like my fifth one this week." He quickly saved his face as he responded in a sarcastic manner.

You chuckled, although you weren't sure if he's joking or not.

"Wow, okay, sorry, that came off a bit weird of me, huh-" You backed away with your question apologetically.

"Yeah." He responded with the typical dry tone, but you could hear some light amusement from the reply. "Well, if you won't go bragging about it to others, then..."

You felt your face get a bit hotter, were you really his first kiss?

Now you felt a bit bad.

Did he have any regrets??

You had to know.

"Oh- Sorry for- taking that, I guess-" You tried to not dig at the "issue" further but also show that you're sorry, in case he expected that.

He softly smirked in slight amusement at your unsureness.

"It's just a kiss." He reminded you both.

You only chuckled nervously in return.

The moment was broken by a familiar blond-haired boy coming your way in a hurry.

"Noah, I saw Y/N heading your way!" You both heard Owen's voice nearing closer. "Maybe you can finally talk about that kiss-"

You saw Owen's face faltering into surprise and then embarrassment when he saw Noah's face trying to say "quit it" without making a sound around you.

"-Hershey's kiss, that you ate this monday, because, there were some, in the kitchen." He "smoothly" saved the situation and began to slowly retreat.

"Man, I'm hungry- I wonder if there are any left- I'll go check." And so he ran off.

Once again, the tense atmosphere creeped into to your surroundings again.

Noah couldn't help himself but let out a disappointed, given up sigh as he facepalmed.

"...What was that about?" You looked at him questioningly, but not trying to overwhelm him.

"That was my last chance at keeping this conversation not awkward." He cynically replied.

You stopped for a moment, unsure how to proceed.

"Okay, I'll just stop being immature and say it. I like you." Noah mumbled out your way, although he tried to make sure you hear it, his hesitance was obvious.

You were stunned to hear such words leave specifically his mouth, but you were in no mood to complain.

"I like you too." You didn't think much, you just said what's been on your mind in the current state.

You were about to take back your words, afraid of how easily you let on your feelings, but hey, he said it first, right?

"Oh. Wow." Was his only response after a moment.

112 notes · View notes

miintsprigz · 3 months

Note

Hi! I was wondering if I could ask for the Demo, Engie, and Heavy for the fear-punch prompt if that's okay. Thank you!

FINALLY WRITING THIS. I appreciate your patience so much, Anon. It means the world to me.

GN!Reader fear punching the Mercs, part 2

Characters: Demoman, Engineer, Heavy (Team Fortress 2)

Warnings: uh some stuff relating to anxiety/panic attacks, cuz fear response.

Part 1 can be found linked below!

Demo ⚔️

You finally had the base to yourself, or at least, you thought so. Everyone had been all up in arms lately, it was just exhausting. Having fixed a cup of your preferred hot drink, you went to walk back to your room.

A door suddenly opened loudly behind you, and with your free hand, you swung, not even registering what you were doing until your fist made contact.

“Hey—oof!”

Your mug clattered to the floor, breaking and spilling everywhere.

“Demo!?”

“…oh! Did I scare ya there? Sorry ‘bout that!” His eye caught the mess on the floor as you tried to catch your breath.

“…now, that won’t do—”

“Tav, lemme—”

“No, no; I scare you, you drop it, tis only fair that I clean up the mess—”

Stumbling over to the closet to grab a broom, mop, whatever else he might need—still a little hungover—Tavish got to taking care of it in no time. He worked with surprising efficiency.

“Now, we oughta replace that drink o’ yours.”

“…Tav, I’m sorry.”

“Wha? Whatever for?”

“…I punched you…” Your voice shook a bit. The guy had only just woken up, and you’d socked him in the face.

He seemed confused at first, then touched the side of his face that you’d struck tenderly, realizing.

“Ah…that ya did.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Oh no, no! That’s alright, luv. Sometimes ya just get spooked. Used to do it to me mum all the time.”

“Really?”

He smiled in a somewhat tired sort of way. “Yup. Ya’d think I’d be more careful, especially cuz she couldn’t see me, but I guess I sorta forgot m’self there.”

Demo gave you a pat on the back, gentler than the usual. “Sorry ‘bout that. I’ve definitely knocked a few lads on the floor m’self, so trust me, I get it.”

“Thanks, Demo.”

“O’course, mate!” Your hair was lightly ruffled, and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Want me to help ya replace that drink though? Heh, maybe I’ll make one for me, too!”

“That might be good. Do you want some ice though?”

“…nah, nah I think I’m good.”

Engineer ⚙️

It had been such a long day. You were more exhausted than you’d thought you were capable of being.

So when you arrived back at home base, you basked in the peace and quiet and decided to kick back and read for a bit.

Hearing sudden rapid, thundering footsteps, however, your adrenaline skyrocketed again, and so when the “intruder” inevitably entered…your adrenaline did the work.

The Engineer bursted into the room, clearly quite excited about something he was working on.

“Ah, (Y/N), c’mon, I gotta show ya—agh!!”

Your eyes locked onto him, staring daggers in fright as he rubbed at his jaw, wincing.

“Now what in Sam Hill—oh. Oh no.”

Those wide, terrified eyes told him all he needed to know. He didn’t even realize how suddenly he’d come flying in…

“…oh, darlin’. I scared the daylights outta you…”

“A little…” Your voice came out as a squeak, and all at once, everything became all too much. Tears flooded your field of view.

“Honey, I’m so sorry…”

“I, I didn’t mean to hit you…”

“Shh shh shh, I know…I know, I’m okay… lemme just…”

Offering open arms to silently ask first, Engie wrapped you in a hug when you stepped closer, petting your hair softly. He didn’t say anything really, aside from the occasional coo of reassurance that it really was okay.

There was a slight sway to him as he held you, trying to soothe the sudden rush of anxiety he’d accidentally triggered.

You knew, but between the fright and the guilt you felt for socking him in the face like that when he was just excited about something…you couldn’t help but cry for a minute or two.

After a bit, he pulled back, looking almost as though he could cry himself.

“I’m…sorry about that. I wasn’t thinkin’. I know ya had a long day, I just…”

“You were just excited to show me something.” With one last sniffle, you smiled over at him. “It’s okay.”

“…would ya still wanna see? I get it if uh, you’d rather have some time alone…”

“No, no! I’d love to see…”

That warm smile returned to his face once again. “You promise you’re alright?”

“I promise, Dell.”

With a nod, he took your hand sweetly. “Well alrighty. I think you’ll really love this, (Y/N), I’ve been tinkerin’ with this new feature for weeks, and I think I finally got it down!”

Chuckling, you followed after him, feeling your frantic heart slowing once again as his fingers gave your hand a light squeeze.

Heavy 🥪

You are in the thick of it now—bombs flying all over, a hail of bullets seemingly around every corner.

Truthfully? It was too much. But you had no intention of letting the enemy team know that.

Although it seemed cowardly to you, you ducked behind a corner for a minute to just…exist uninterrupted for a moment.

Your overwhelming didn’t go unnoticed though. Help was on the way…but you were unfortunately not able to fully recognize it.

A tap on your shoulder sent the tension building in your mind over the edge. Your fist made contact with the stiff gray of Heavy’s protective vest.

“(Y/N)! Is only me! Do not be afraid. Am here to help you.” Thankfully, the person you’d struck was basically a brick house. He had hardly felt it. He didn’t look angry…actually, he seemed worried.

“Uh…Heavy?!” “Da, it is me.”

“Well. I punched a friend. Great…” Looking down at your hands as you went to pick your dropped weapon up, they were shaking.

“Hold one moment, (Y/N).”

One huge hand carefully cradled yours, holding it steady.

“All due respect, I am giant man. Is very hard to hurt me. So do not feel so bad, okay?”

You tried to breathe, and it caught in your throat. Carefully setting Sasha to the side for a moment, Heavy looked down at you. Even with the chaos nearby, his eyes were so soft when he looked at you.

“Take deep breath.”

You followed that direction as best as you could.

“Very good. Again?”

It got easier.

“Perfect. Battlefield can be scary place…I know that too. Is okay to be afraid.”

He gave you a quick hug—it seemed he really was full of surprises today. His hand practically covered your shoulder as he gave it a pat when you pulled apart again.

“You need minute? Heavy is here! Giant man is on your side, remember?”

Now that you thought about it, maybe you’d be a little more prepared if you had a minute or two to yourself. “…could I just take a second back here out of range? I know it’s kinda chicken of me—”

“Not at all, (Y/N)! What do you think I carry sandvich for! Even big strong man need break. Smaller strong one like you no different.”

To your surprise, he actually handed you half of the tasty treat in question.

“Here. Enjoy, eat, and do not worry.” Picking up his minigun, Misha gave you a determined smile. “Heavy and Sasha will crush anyone who move too close until you are ready.”

If you weren’t where you were right now, it honestly might have made you cry. “Thanks, Heavy.”

“Of course, (Y/N). You are very important to me, you know that?”

A bit of warmth rushed into your face as he gave you one last grin before walking back out from behind your little shelter to face the opposing team.

“That’s right, I AM BACK! YOU MAY NOW RUN AWAY! HAHAHAHAHA!”

You couldn’t help but chuckle as you took a bite of the sandwich and breathed easy, knowing nobody would get within range of you anytime soon.

Whew! I hope that was good, Anon. I had fun writing it. I’d love more Heavy, Demo, and Pyro requests! I don’t write for them much but they’re a lot of fun!

116 notes · View notes

stayevildarling · 5 days

Note

Hi, I know you might be a little busy, so no rush. I wanted to ask you for a Cordelia x Wilhemina x Billie x Reader, where Reader after a run-in with witch hunters gets hurt and tries to hide it from her girlfriends, as she has always known how to take care of herself, but she may get sick at night and the girls trying to find out what's wrong with her discover the wound, a bit of angst with fluff at the end.

Thank you.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- Born to Die

A/N: I have no way of prioritising my requests at this point but I got this a little while ago and I just had to considering the angst 😩 special mention and thanks to @stepintomyworld who encouraged me to add more of the reader comforting the characters in this one 🫶🏻

word count: 8k

tw: mention of blood, mention of violence, mention of anxiety, angst

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay, @whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson, @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime

It had been a normal day so far, any normal weekend day at the academy really, most witches having gone to their families or doing some kind of activities outside of the coven, Billie, Cordelia and Wilhemina finally off work and enjoying the company of each other including you. Considering it was Saturday, you had been working in the greenhouse for a while, working on some spells and potions, preparing a class that was due teaching the following Monday.

Cordelia had been so incredibly busy, as well as the other two that you decided to head to the markets for her, despite Wilhemina and Billie offering the same but you always wanted to make sure that you took as much as possible off their busy plates. You couldn't begin to imagine how stressful it must be to be either of them. Billie constantly under the pressure of filming her show, chasing spirits and ghosts away. Despite her often joking about it and talking about the fun bits, you knew all too well about the deadlines that kept her up at night, as well as her high expectations of herself, as she always wanted to make her viewers happy. Let alone the spirits that would haunt her at night and visited her in her dreams and so it was a no brainer to help Billie out whenever you could.

The same with Cordelia, you knew how exhausting it must be to be the supreme, most powerful witch, the whole pressure of looking after every single one of her girls and the academy always heavy on her shoulders. And you knew that she also had some very high expectations, knowing that her mother often still haunted her and wanting so hard not to be like her and make the coven the place that she had always wanted. And so you couldn't help but take as many classes as possible off her plate, to the point where she wasn't part of the schedule anymore, and only taught occasionally whenever she felt like it or had some quiet time. In the evenings and afternoons, you would often help the supreme with anything that needed attending to, new applications, looking after some newcomers, anything to ease the weight of her responsibilities.

And at last you knew Wilhemina was no different, her career that she cared about so very deeply, having fought herself to the position she is in today. And despite her demeanour and her the one usually more quiet about those sort of things, you could tell how exhausting it must be at times, given her two idiot bosses that she would occasionally mention when talking about work, which was quite rare. And you knew about her expectations as well, wanting to be there for you three with all her heart, nothing ever too much for her. And in the process she often forgot to give herself that same kindness, gentleness and love. But you had taken that part a long time ago, knowing how exhausting the toll of Wilhemina's back was for her. And you always made sure to be a helping hand, as she would often find you being the one to schedule her doctors appointments, pick up her medication, prepare meals or baths for her. And she was reluctant at first, having only trusted Cordelia with those tasks so far, considering their dynamic and deep trust. But the one day she found out that you had taken over, she didn't even question it and ever since she would always show her appreciation through the love flickering in her eyes whenever they met yours. And that was all the thank yous that you had needed.

Your daydreaming comes to an abrupt stop, when you suddenly notice a shift around you. You had been done with all the stops, going from stall to stall and one shop with the list that Cordelia had given you, the weather had been lovely, warm as the sun was shining down on you, even causing you to take your cardigan off with the heat. However, as you walk down the long road towards the coven, it suddenly begins pouring down with rain, the sky filled with bright lightening and the sound of thunder startling you. And you could tell, somehow feeling it in your bones that something was off. You didn't have Cordelia's supreme senses but somehow you could always tell when something wasn't right, especially given the dramatic change in weather. As you stop walking for a moment, holding onto the shopping bags, you glance behind you, the pouring rain making it a little hard to see, but you wanted to check if there was some sort of danger as your body felt an odd sense of doom lurking nearby.

And out of the corner of your eyes, despite the pouring rain, you can see something. Your heart instantly stopping in your chest as you notice three dark shadows. Instantly your senses kick in as you think about what to do. It dawns on you that you had the strange feeling of being followed around the markets but you had brushed it off, maybe even foolishly. And then panic sets in as you decide what to do, should you run? maybe even teleport back to the academy? but at the same time you knew if you did that you would take them straight to the coven. And Cordelia had taught you all enough about the dangers that the academy faced at times that you for sure knew taking them there was an awful idea. But you couldn't think straight for a moment as your lungs force out some ragged breaths. And so you decide to cross the street, walking in the opposite direction, towards some crowds and people again, despite the heavy rain. Your hands were too full to call Cordelia and so the only thing you could do was close your eyes and focus on your magic without making it too obvious.

,,Cordelia?'' the supreme sits in her office, her eyes widening when she hears your voice in her head, the two of you mastering the ability of telepathy at this point as Cordelia had taught you a few years ago, a tool that would certainly come in handy now. As she balances on her feet, her movements rushed, Billie Dean is startled a little as the two of them had been talking in the supremes office, catching up about each other's week. ,,What is it?'' Billie asks, nervously, trying to read the blondes face. ,,Y/N, are you okay?'' she asks, closing her eyes as she sends the message to you. And as you hear her words repeat in your head, you doubt whether this was a good idea, whether getting them involved would even be smart and whether you might simply be paranoid. But as you turn around, the black shadows appear bigger, now only a few steps away from you, despite your best efforts. ,,Something is wrong, someone is following me'' you quickly think, sending a rush of adrenaline and panic across the blondes features yet again. ,,Where are you?'' she tries but you can't concentrate as the shadows grow even closer, the rain making it hard to walk, breathe or think as of right now.

And as Billie looks up at the supreme, she suddenly is left in shock as the blonde vanishes before her own eyes, knowing that she must have teleported somewhere but in utter horror and shock at the scene that unfolded and the lack of information she had on what was going on. As your breathing becomes more panicked, you suddenly stop as Cordelia appears in front of you, your eyes already brimming with tears. She stands in front of you, her gaze focused on you before she notices three men approach, almost reaching you two before she is quick to hold onto you, teleporting you both away from danger. ,,Wilhemina?'' Billie's voice rings through the quiet academy in the meantime. ,,Wilhemina?'' she tries again, the panic very noticeable in her voice and features. The redhead was currently sitting in her office, working through some last minute project when she hears her girlfriends voice in the hallway. And by the second time her name is called, she could tell something was off. And so she is quick to balance on her cane before finding a visibly shaken medium in front of her door.

,,What is it?'' she asks, her features stern, hiding her own concern. ,,It's Y/N and Cordelia'' Billie announces before they are startled with a noise coming from the supremes office. Billie's breath hitches as she makes her way over, Wilhemina following behind quickly, her cane echoing loudly through the quiet academy. As they approach the office, they find both you and the supreme there, you dropping the shopping bags, your clothes and face drenched with water from the pouring rain, your breathing hitching and Cordelia's worried expression. ,,What is going on?'' Wilhemina asks, her voice now matching Billie's hysteria from moments before. But you can't breathe yet and so you stand there frozen, pathetically trying to get your lungs to work, while Cordelia takes your cheeks into her hands, cupping them gently, wanting to coax you out of this so you could speak and fill them in.

It takes a few minutes before you manage to breathe and when you do the realisation that Cordelia had teleported you back ripples through you. ,,I.. I was at the markets and everything was fine but then it started thundering- and raining'' you begin, trying to focus to provide them with as much details as possible. ,,Men.. there were three men following me'' you finally speak. Billie and Wilhemina's faces change from concern to confusion, trying to understand your words. ,,It's fine darling, you are okay, you are home safe'' Cordelia tries, not understanding the full effects of the looming danger yet, Billie and Wilhemina equally confused but the redhead knowing you so well by now that she could tell there was something else on your mind. ,,What is it little one?'' she asks, as Cordelia instructs you to sit, your breathing again coming out hitched and panicked. ,,Witch- hunters... I think they may be... witch hunters'' you struggle before the realisation ripples through the three of them.

Cordelia's eyes widen, beginning to understand the full extend, internally scolding herself for not realising before, as she begins pacing, trying to think of something she could do, anything to keep the academy safe. ,,What makes you think that babydoll?'' Billie asks confused not necessarily understanding the connection. ,,It's.. I- I don't know, it's just a weird feeling I had'' you explain, glancing at Wilhemina who now stands beside you, one of her steady hands placed gently on your shoulder to tell you she is here and that she wasn't going anywhere. ,,I don't think you should have teleported us here Delia'' you begin, before she stops pacing to look at you. ,,I didn't teleport here for that reason'' you explain. ,,I think they watched me at the markets already, maybe they were looking for you'' you explain. Billie's heart sinks for a moment, before she connects the pieces ,,That could be possible, you go there every Saturday Delia'' she speaks, trying to control her emotions to stay on top of this.

,,If that is true, we may have just led them here'' you speak, not wanting to blame her whatsoever but more concerned with the wellbeing of your girlfriends and the witches left at the academy. ,,Shit'' the supreme curses, really not having thought that last bit through, the concern over you before too strong. ,,Okay we need to act fast, can you help me place another protection spell Y/N?'' the blonde asks, you quickly nodding and up on your feet before you abruptly freeze, startling all three of them. And then it's back, that odd feeling, the feeling of looming danger nearby, doom. ,,They are here'' you whisper, being able to feel their presence as they somehow get past the protection spells and enter the academy. ,,How many witches are here?'' you whisper, towards Cordelia. ,,Just the twins'' she explains, pointing at two rather new members. ,,Keep them safe, I'll look after these two'' you whisper, with quick words, the supreme hesitating for a moment before remembering your abilities and nodding, glancing at you three one more time before leaving.

And then you turn around, catching a glimpse of Wilhemina and Billie who both look utterly terrified. Billie shivering with fear, Wilhemina seeming more composed on the outside but her eyes spoke lengths. ,,Listen'' you whisper, barely audible ''I need you both to stay here while I find Delia'' you begin, but by their faces you could tell they would never let you do this willingly. ,,No way Y/N'' Billie scolds, shaking her head vividly at your suggestion. ,,I'll be two minutes'' you announce but you knew there was no way they would let you go, Wilhemina's angry eyes piercing straight through you. As you begin taking some steps towards the door, the redhead is quick to grab your arm, not letting you go under any circumstances considering the dangers. You nod before whispering ,,Let me put a protection spell on the door at least'' you whisper again, barely audible. They nod, Wilhemina letting go off you before you make your way to the door, closing your eyes, before chanting a strong protection spell, one that would make it impossible for anyone to enter and evenly them to get out.

,,I'm sorry'' you mouth the words before turning around and teleporting away from them, Wilhemina's cane banging in the process ,,Damn it'' Billie snaps, watching you escape their grasps. And with a swift motion, you find yourself downstairs by the staircase. The academy was dead silent and if it wasn't for your intuition, no one would know anything was off and that anyone had entered the usual safe walls of the academy. It was also incredibly dark, the only light source, the occasional lightening from outside, illuminating the usual bright academy. With careful steps, you walk towards the nearest wall, using your witchcraft to carry you further as you make it towards the hallway, now finally hearing some footsteps and being able to tell they weren't from Cordelia. Your brain blanks a little bit as you try to think what to do, whether you should guide them away from here, whether to confront them head on, knowing your powers would be more powerful than their weapons.

As you make it to a door, you poke your head around it, catching a glimpse of one of the shadows, dressed entirely in black before you raise your hand, making him fly across the room, hitting his back on a nearby wall, by the lack of noise assuming he was unconscious for now. ,,What was that?'' another dark low voice asks, making you halt your steps as he was much closer than you initially believed. ,,It's the witches'' another one speaks before you find another one approaching, walking towards the unconscious one. However before you can do anything, Cordelia startles you as you catch a glimpse of her sneaking down the staircase. As soon as her eyes land on you, her eyebrows furrow, brushing the thought away as one was very close to the supreme, his stupidity and the darkness causing him not to see her yet. With a swift motion, she has him equally by the nearest wall, his hands tied behind his back, his mouth covered, only letting the smallest, most pathetic noises escape.

Before you know it, you suddenly feel a sharp pain on the back of your head, before another one is added to your back, causing you to squint your eyes shut, the pain overwhelming you for a moment before you lose your balance. You watch as Cordelia approaches the two witch hunters on the floor, not having seen the third one evidently behind you. But as you watch him approach her, sneaking up behind her, you quickly focus on your magic, adding him to the pile of monsters on the floor, causing him to lose consciousness, dropping the weapons in the process. Cordelia gasps a little as she turns around, seeing you holding onto the nearest wall. And then as danger is averted, the sky fills with the same bright tones of yellow that it had before, the sun shining warmly, instantly illuminating the academy with light again. With a flick of your wrist you release the protection spell around Cordelia's office, knowing they would both be furious with you for this and not wanting to keep them locked in any longer, knowing danger was gone for now.

,,Are you okay?'' Cordelia asks, looking over to you, torn between running to you and checking on you and letting out her wrath on the three figures, knowing despite danger being averted for now, the real work would begin for the supreme now as she had to figure out whether they worked individually, whether they are a part of an organisation. Knowing she would need to take them to the council for further questioning, needing to figure out how they managed to get past the protection barrier of the academy. ,,I'm fine Delia, are you?'' you ask and she simply nods, before kneeling down, taking off one hood by one, trying to see whether she knew them, whether her magic could tell her anything about what had happened. And then as the throbbing pain returns in your back and head, you catch a glimpse of Billie running down the stairs, Wilhemina's cane echoing hard and loud against the marble floor, their faces filled with concern, fear and panic.

,,Is everyone okay?'' Billie asks, taking a step back when she notices the three figures on the floor. ,,All okay Billie'' Cordelia quickly announces, phone already in hand to alert the council about this, as well as Zoe. ,,What the hell was that?'' Wilhemina's angry voice rings through the air, only adding to the pounding in your head. You knew she was talking to you, you knew she was going to be furious with you and you knew it would need a lot of explaining, as she for sure wouldn't just accept your pathetic apology of wanting to keep them and the coven safe. As she descends the stairs, making her way over to you, your legs suddenly feel a little weak, face growing paler and you could definitely feel something warm running down your head, neck and back. ,,I'm so sorry Mina'' you apologise, closing your eyes to fight back the pain and brace for the impact of her words. ,,I just needed to keep you both safe'' you apologies again, and Billie is quick to shoot Wilhemina a glance, the glance telling her that this wouldn't be the right time now.

,,Y/N?'' Cordelia asks, causing you to open your eyes and look at her through your blurry vision. ,,Can you teleport one of them to the council with me? I'll take the other two'' she announces and you try nodding, quickly realising that was a mistake before muttering out a quick ,,Yes''. As you take some unsteady steps towards her, you brush past both Wilhemina and Billie who both look at you, as you try and muster up your best smile, hiding the pain, not wanting to worry them further. ,,We should be back in a few hours, but the coven is safe'' Cordelia announces, having now placed another protection spell around the walls of the academy. ,,Billie darling, can you check on the twins for me?'' she asks, Billie quickly nodding. You take one last glance at Wilhemina before putting your arm around one of them, glancing at Cordelia who gives you the signal to teleport.

And then again, the two of you, including the men are out of your girlfriends sights, Billie sighing before glancing at Wilhemina and making her way upstairs to check on the twins. Cordelia must have already alerted the council beforehand as when you arrive at another school for witches and warlocks, they are already waiting for you both. Both you and Cordelia are quick to hand the men over, the supreme already discussing with the witches and warlocks on what had happened. You pause for a moment, the pain now very evident as you search for the nearest bathroom, Cordelia not really noticing your absense as her main concern was the safety of the coven, assuming at first you were following behind her. It's not until she determinedly fills them in, turning around to speak to you when she notices your absence. Her features tense a little, eyebrows furrowing as she looks around the room, trying to find you among the council of witches and warlocks.

Meanwhile you had found the nearest bathroom, having been here a few times for some council meetings. As you balance on your tip toes with the last energy you have left, turning around, you lift up your shirt, revealing a significant wound and how your shirt was now mostly stained with blood. You had been so caught up in the hectic of things, wanting to keep the academy and your girlfriends safe that you had no idea what actually happened, but by the wound you assume it must have been some sort of knife as the bleeding wasn't stopping yet. Your hair is hiding the other wound, causing the throbbing headache but you couldn't move well and so all you can do for now is linger your hands over it, knowing your healing magic was nothing compared to Cordelia's but it would do for now. With a swift motion, you adjust your jacket, checking one more time for no obvious signs of injury before returning to the witches and your girlfriend.

Cordelia is content seeing you, taking a mental note to check in on you in a little while, still explaining the events that had taken place. It takes several hours, several attempts of a truth enhancing spell, making the men spill their intentions, actions. And it was slow, painful even but eventually, mostly with Cordelia's help they could leave the three of them with the council, leaving their faith in their hands after realising that they weren't a part of some bigger scheme, the three men operating on their own. And so in the end, it allows both you and Cordelia to finally head home, the sun having already set a while ago as the two of you finally teleport back to the academy. And the supreme had noticed, how quiet you had been, observing carefully from the back, answering some council questions here and there but wondering whether you simply felt guilty for what happened with Billie and Wilhemina or if maybe the events had traumatised you, still unaware of your injuries.

,,Sweetheart, are you alright?'' she asks, her features almost stern as she takes in your appearance and slightly pale expression. ,,I'm fine Delia'' you try to convince her with your biggest smile and if it wasn't for her own worries lingering on her mind, she would have noticed that it was forced, that in fact you aren't okay, simply hiding your true state in order to not make them worry. In fact the events lingered on her mind, causing her to feel guilty for not thinking this through before, how her concern over you had clouded her, how you had managed to sense the dangers but she hasn't. You could tell by the shaking of her hands and the guilt in her eyes that she felt awful, that she still didn't feel safe, that she was triggered by the events from today as they had happened in the past and taken everything from the blonde. And you didn't need to guess to know that she was thinking of her mother, that same voice back, reminding her how weak she was for not seeing this coming, how she didn't do enough to protect the academy in the first place.

As the two of you linger in the hallway, you can't help but stop her from sprinting upstairs to check on everyone yet. And so you step in front of her, meeting her brown concerned eyes before speaking softly. ,,Delia, hold on'' you speak softly, causing for her eyes to lock with yours. ,,Are you okay?'' you ask gently, your eyes pleading with her, telling her that you knew and that this was okay. She sighs then, doing that lip twitch thing, exposing her own vulnerability in this moment. ,,Come here'' you offer, opening your arms in an inviting way and with a sigh, she takes you up on the offer, almost collapsing into your arms as the weight slowly tumbles from her tense shoulders. ,,It's okay'' you reassure, squeezing her a little tighter to make sure she knew you are there and that you had got her. You ignore the throbbing pain in your back as her hands linger on it unknowingly.

As the two of you pull away after a while, you find her tear stained eyes and quickly wipe her cheeks. ,,You did great Delia, you protected us all'' you reassure before speaking again ,,And none of this is your fault'' you smile at her, before she can't help but chuckle. ,,How did you know that?'' she asks, almost a little shy and innocently before you raise an eyebrow. ,,Well duh Delia, I am a witch'' you grin, causing her to chuckle a little before pressing a kiss to your forehead. It doesn't take long before the two of you are interrupted, Wilhemina's cane and Billie's heels echoing through the large hallway, finding you both back home safe and sound. ,,Oh thank god'' Billie breathes out in relief, seeing you both back. She is quick to walk over to you both, pressing a kiss to your lips and equally the supremes moments later. And as Cordelia fills Billie in on what happened, answering every single one of her questions, you glance at Wilhemina, almost not daring to meet her eyes as the guilt from your earlier actions weighs heavily on your mind and heart.

However as you meet her eyes, her expression is much softer, forgiving almost and unbeknownst to you, Billie had already managed to calm the redhead down, telling her that if either her or the medium could have done what you did, they would have done it as well. Wilhemina not liking the thought of you putting yourself in danger, especially to protect them but knowing she would have done the same if her abilities had allowed her to. And so as you finally reach her, you feel the urge to hug her, looking up to meet her brown eyes. But as you glance up at her, you could see pain and as you observe a little closer, taking in her posture, you can tell her back was killing her. And it killed you truly, how much her back would continue burdening her, how stressful events like today especially took a toll on her. You hesitate for a moment, knowing you needed to play your cards right with this as your earlier actions still may have some anger lingering on her mind regarding that, possibly even you breaking her trust a little.

,,Are you okay, little one?'' she asks carefully, her voice hushed as Billie and Cordelia make their way into the kitchen, Billie already having prepared some dinner for the four of you. ,,Yes, I'm okay Mina'' you whisper, looking up as your guilty eyes meet hers again. ,,Are you?'' you ask and by the way she averted her eyes you could tell that she wasn't. ,,I'm sorry about earlier'' you apologise, the weight of the guilt almost feeling like dragging you down as well as the continued throbbing in your back and head. ,,It's okay little one'' she speaks softly as a little smile coats her features and you could tell she was being genuine and despite you wanting to explain further, you didn't feel like it as of right now, everything feeling a little much. ,,Dinner is ready you two'' Cordelia announces softly and you simply look at the redhead before following her into the kitchen. As you make it there, the light is dim, the only source some candles and the soft glow from the lamplight illuminating the kitchen. It smells heavenly and you chuckle internally for a moment, knowing there was no way Billie had cooked this and wondering if maybe Wilhemina had or whether the medium had ordered it.

Despite the feeling of normality and the events from today almost fading from your memory, you didn't feel like joining them, urgently wanting a shower and to wash away the reminders of the pain from today. The three of them notice your hesitation to sit down, and you avert their gazes before speaking ,,I- I was just going to shower if that's okay'' you announce and for the first time Cordelia really notices then that something was off with you, how quiet you had been and almost withdrawing a little. She stands up, quickly making her way over, taking in your features and noticing just how pale you are, how tired you seem. ,,Of course darling but are you okay?'' she asks, her eyes piercing through you. It takes all your strength to lie, despite hating it but you knew they each suffered today and you didn't want to add. And so you muster up your best smile, before assuring her that you are just fine and making your way upstairs. As they watch you leave, the concern lingers on their beautiful features, eventually fading a little as Cordelia fills them in on what the council and her had discovered, that the coven was safe.

As you stand in the shower, shivering a little at the cold sensation prickling at your skin, you can't help but see the pile of blood stained clothes on the floor, as well as the blood drawing out from the water, pooling by your legs. You almost feel sick at the sight, trying to turn towards the mirror but not being able to see. And so you reach for the back of your head, trying to figure out what had happened but it quickly turns out to be a mistake as the pain is so severe that it almost causes you to lose your balance altogether. In a pathetic attempt, you linger your hands over the back of your head, making the pain go away for now and causing for the blurring off your vision and the feeling of unsteadiness to go away. After finally making it out of the shower and into some clean clothes, you quickly hide all the evidence from your injuries, before making your way downstairs. You find Billie lingering outside the little backdoor and smoking, smiling at you as you pass her. Cordelia is cleaning some dishes, her features seeming a lot less tense and more relaxed now.

Wilhemina is still sitting at the table when you make your way over, gently placing some tablets next to her, knowing her back was definitely killing her by now. She meets your eyes, thankful yet hesitant of the gesture. ,,I ran you a bath Mina, it's ready upstairs for you if you'd like'' you explain hesitantly, unsure how she was going to take it. Cordelia smiles lovingly at you, appreciating your kindness and how nice you always treated them all. The blonde glances at Wilhemina, her eyes pleading her to soften up a little. The redhead nods, swallowing the tablets before giving you a warm smile and making her way upstairs. As you take a seat, you feel two warm arms wrap around you from behind and by the lingering sense of cigarettes and perfume you could tell it was Billie Dean. You ignore the piercing pain as she unintentionally leans her chin on your shoulder, sending waves of pain through your head and back, causing you to scrunch up. And this time, Cordelia picks it up, seeing your expression as she places a plate of food in front of you, her features instantly tensing.

,,Y/N?'' she asks carefully, her eyes meeting Billie's as yours shoot open a little, quickly trying to compose yourself. ,,What's wrong?'' Billie asks, moving away from you a little in order to see what was bothering you. ,,Nothing Delia, just tired'' you lie again, hating it regardless and your magic had alerted you a while ago that the supreme had tried entering your thoughts, you assume unintentionally as her magic sometimes did that, especially when worrying but you didn't want them to worry so you quickly muster up your best smile and eat the food that Cordelia had given you, hoping it would coax the concern from their features. As the night wears on a little while later, the three of you had decided to head to the bedroom a little earlier than usual, Billie retreating to another bathroom for a bit to finish her beauty routine while Wilhemina was finishing up in the bathroom. Cordelia checking on the remaining witches at the academy one more time and making sure all the doors are locked, windows are closed and the protection spell still strong.

When Wilhemina returns, you can tell that her features are much less tense, posture more stable as well and as she carefully moves to her side of the bed, Cordelia and Billie to your left. The redhead finds another sweet gesture on her night table, she finds that you had left her a glass of water, her nighttime medication and a heating pad so she could get a good nights sleep. And the gesture almost brings tears to her eyes, glancing at you to find you nestled next to Cordelia and Billie. The redhead is quick to get onto her side of the bed, next to you and appreciating your efforts and the pain slowly leaving her body. As you glance at Cordelia and Billie, you could tell that the supreme seemed much less tense now, of course the concern and events from today still lingered on her mind but she seemed calmer, Billie already dozing off a little while ago, her soft snores filling the room ever so quietly. As you turn around, you look at Mina, who you find smiling at you, her eyes piercing right through you as if they silently communicated with your own.

And again you felt the urge to hug her, to hold her close and this time she picks it up, lowering herself on the bed a little to get comfortable, heating pad tucked gently on her back. ,,Come here'' she offers and you comply, snuggling into her side as she wraps an arm around you, Billie subconsciously holding onto you as well as she spoons into you. ,,I'm sorry'' you whisper, almost inaudible but your girlfriend picks it up, looking at you, her eyebrow raised ever so slightly. ,,Why are you sorry little one?'' she whispers, almost a little confused. ,,I didn't mean to scare you before'' you admit, your eyes already brimming with tears, the events from today finally catching up on you. Her features soften before you speak again ,,I just wanted to keep you both safe'' you admit, meeting her brown eyes and she is quick to wipe your tears, keeping you comfortable. ,,I know little one, I know'' she reassures pulling you a little closer and holding you tight.

Eventually sleep washes over you, your eyelids feeling heavy and both Billie and Wilhemina's arms holding you close. It isn't until several hours later, when you wake up, feeling another shift in the air, feeling the medium shivering into your side. You are quick to turn around, face the blonde, ignoring the pounding headache and that same warmth lingering on your back. ,,Billie?'' you try softly, noticing her features tense, her whole body stiff and shivering, tears running down her cheeks and you quickly figured she was having a nightmare. ,,Billie'' you try again, glancing around you to find both your other girlfriends asleep. She wakes then, her eyes widening as more tears stream down her cheeks, but you are quick to wipe them away. ,,Shh'' you try soothing her, finding her hand underneath the blanket and holding onto her. ,,It's okay Billie, you had a nightmare'' you assure and the medium is quick to compose herself, usually denying the nightmares whenever one of you mentioned them.

You watch her hesitate, seeing the fight she was fighting internally of opening up. ,,What did you dream about Billie?'' you ask her carefully, smiling warmly at her before pulling her a little closer. And then it kinda bursts out of her, telling you how she was so scared of losing either of you, how brave you had been and glad she is that everyone is fine. And you hold her through every confession, every tear, every sob, before gently coaxing her back to sleep, whispering words of comfort and affection and how she isn't alone, how you are all right there for her. And it does take a little while but before too long her soft sounds fill the bedroom again and you sigh a little then, the pain now almost unbearable as that took any leftover strength you had. And then it kinda dawns on you that something was wrong, how the pain that you had been pushing away didn't feel normal.

With the last strength left, you somehow manage to force yourself out of bed, trying your best to stay as quiet as possible as you try to make your way to the bathroom, feeling the blood run down your neck and back but almost not feeling it as everything is spinning, your cheeks flashed hot and your vision blurry. Somehow you manage to find the bathroom, the light instantly startling you due to the bright sensation. And for a moment all you can do is close the door, sliding down the bathtub and sitting on the floor, trying to breathe. And it doesn't take long for Cordelia to wake up, hearing your footsteps and her supreme senses alerting her of something, despite her not too sure what that was just yet. The darkness causes her to reach for the light on her bedside, the bright sensation causing her to squint her eyes closed for a moment. She hovers above Billie, trying to find you on the bed but she finds your spot empty and as she moves, Wilhemina is also awake quickly, a light sleeper anyway.

Their eyes seem to linger on your pillow and where you had been laying before almost at the same time, noticing the red stained sheets and the lingering blood and their eyes widen then as they meet across the bedroom despite the darkness of the night. Cordelia's eyes widen as Wilhemina is already reaching for her cane, both quickly on their feet. The bathroom light peaks underneath the door as they walk towards it, Cordelia quick to speak first ,,Y/N, are you alright?'' she asks and when you hear her voice, despite it being faint, you could tell that there was no way you could hide this from them any further. In a pathetic attempt to make this any better, you try balancing on your feet but it's pointless and before you know it, both the blonde and redhead are already walking towards you, Cordelia quick to kneel beside you, Wilhemina lingering nearby, her face filled with concern and confusion.

,,What is it baby?'' the blonde speaks softly, her hands instantly wandering to your cheeks, seeing your pale expression. ,,What hurts darling?'' she asks again, her voice a little firmer this time as she could tell you are struggling to keep your eyes open, unaware that the last few minutes you had fought the battle of unconsciousness with all you have got. Wilhemina struggles to watch you like this, your face so neutral despite the very obvious pain lingering in your eyes. Meanwhile, Cordelia tries propping you forward, not being able to see any obvious signs of injury anywhere before she gasps seeing your back. The t-shirt you were sleeping in before, mostly stained in a crimson red and she panics then, not understanding at first what had happened and where this was suddenly coming from. ,,Little one, speak to us please'' Wilhemina ushers, the concern now very visible in her features and voice as she kneels down equally, leaning on her cane and if you could think clearly you would have scolded her, reminded her of her back but you couldn't think as the only thing on your mind was them. Little memories with them clouding your mind, causing you to forget about the pain for a moment.

Cordelia was usually the calm and composed one in these situations but somehow today had caused for her own anxiety to betray her as she helplessly looks at Wilhemina, unsure what to do. The redhead is quick to usher her to get you to lay down, as the blonde in a swift motion has you facing to your side, for the first time getting a good look at your injuries. And she gasps then, in disbelief and not remotely understanding where this came from. Towards the middle of your back a long deep cut is to be seen, Wilhemina balancing on her cane to get a look and despite remaining silent, her heart breaks at the sight. She has a feeling this may have happened today and how you continued powering through it all and not mentioning any of it and the redhead feels conflicted, seeing so much of herself in you but knowing the pain that burden carried and always having tried to protect you from just that.

The blonde is quick to hover her shaking hand over the wound, with a quick motion making it disappear altogether as her healing powers are quite strong, being the supreme and all. In anticipation she leans over your shaking body, noticing how you aren't quite with them still but on the first try, she can't seem to find any other obvious signs of injury. ,,Y/N darling'' she tries but it's hopeless as the pain in your head was getting more severe by the minute. The energy in the room shifts, Cordelia being able to think clearly now as panic sets in Wilhemina's features, unsure how to handle with you not being responsive. And so the supreme does the only thing she can think of at that moment, closing her eyes, before touching your forehead, shaking as she enters your thoughts, the events from today replaying in her mind.

And then like a little movie, she sees and feels the pain you had endured today, getting a glimpse of you in the bathroom, in the shower and what actually got you to these wounds. And it's painful as little images float in your mind, images with your girlfriends, happy memories and the sight brings tears to her eyes. ,,What is it?'' Wilhemina asks sternly, as the supreme opens her eyes again, understanding what the headmistress had done moments before. ,,We need to check her head'' Cordelia announces, gently moving your hair to the side to get a better look at the back of your head. Her fingers already stain in blood before she sees the wound and Wilhemina can't help but sigh, seeing the state you are in and how you soldiered through it all on your own. Blaming herself for not knowing sooner, thinking about what could have happened if they never found you tonight.

Cordelia is quick to hover her hand over your head again, this wound taking a little longer to heal but she manages nevertheless. Wilhemina breathes out in relief, watching as the blood slowly fades away, from your back, the back of your head and her girlfriends hands. ,,Sweetheart?'' Cordelia tries, nudging your shoulder a little as she carefully moves you to face her. Wilhemina watches as your eyes remain closed, confusion washing over her face, the concern still evident on her features. ,,Y/N darling, I need you to wake up'' she tries again, this time a little sterner and at last your eyes finally open, the bright sensation causing them to squint shut before realising you are on the bathroom floor and seeing their expressions. ,,Shit'' you think to yourself, quickly composing yourself and forcing yourself up. And as you are back on your feet, you quickly realise it was a mistake as your vision blurs, little stars forming around you.

And you should have known, knowing Cordelia's magic was strong and despite assuming she fixed your injuries, your face grows pale, the supreme quickly behind you to catch you. ,,Hey hey'' she coos, keeping you balanced as she helps sit you down on the edge of the large bathtub. ,,You're okay'' she reassures, glancing at Wilhemina who's features at this point are beyond readable, the initial shock of concern slowly replaced with anger. Despite the dizzy spell, you could tell she was furious with you, opening your mouth to apologise but the words get caught in your throat. And at last the medium had woken, stumbling into the bathroom as she holds onto the door frame for support. ,,What happened?'' she asks, a little dumbfounded, her voice still hoarse from sleep.

,,As per usual Billie, you missed everything'' Wilhemina remarks, her features stern as she balances on her cane, leaving you with the supreme and medium. You feel the strange urge to follow your redhead girlfriend, to apologise for the consequences from your actions but you still couldn't walk properly and so all you can do is close your eyes, trying to fight back the tears of them being upset with you. ,,Babydoll'' Billie begins, kneeling beside you ,,Delia what happened?'' she asks, confused, feeling terrible for missing everything. Cordelia glances at Billie before her eyes travel back to your own, a flicker of sadness in them as she couldn't believe you would have kept it from them for this long, usually her being the one that needed to coax this sorta stuff out from Wilhemina. And knowing you knew how to take care of yourself but this just seeming utterly unlike you.

,,What?!'' Billie's voice ripples through the air, awakening you from your daze as you didn't listen to a single thing Cordelia had said, too focused on your loud thoughts and the guilt that was beginning to crush you with each second passing. And then before the medium can scold you as well, you balance on your legs, quickly walking away before either of them can stop you, brushing past Wilhemina as well before making your way downstairs, not remotely in the mood to deal with any of it as you hide away in your usual sanctuary the greenhouse. And instantly the calm tranquility of plants and peace makes you feel at ease, wiping the tears that you had no idea streamed from your cheeks before.

Billie is quick to rush after you, Cordelia however stopping her as she knew you needed to calm down for a while and knowing your injuries are healed. ,,Billie wait'' she ushers, the medium stopping in her tracks. Wilhemina remains quiet and composed as the two of them talk, pretending to not listen to their words. ,,Why would she not tell us?'' the medium asks, glancing at the sheets covered in the same shade of red from before. ,,I don't know'' Cordelia sighs, rubbing her temples in frustration, with a flick of her wrist making the blood stains disappear from the bed. ,,I don't understand'' Billie argues, fiddling nervously with her nails before Wilhemina's voice rings through the air again, startling the two of them in the process. ,,It's because she didn't want us to know'' she begins, Cordelia's features filled with pain listening to her girlfriends words. ,,Because she would rather take care of us and protect us than ask for help'' she adds, causing for her girlfriends eyes to slowly swell with tears.

The room fills with silence as the minutes pass by, neither of them speaking, the anger slowly subsiding from Wilhemina's features, more concerned with your wellbeing and feeling the strong urge to find you and hold you close, considering how brave you had been. ,,Let me find her'' Cordelia announces, not liking the idea of you being on your own. Your peace and quiet is interrupted when the blonde makes an appearance in the greenhouse, knowing she would be able to find you there as you always hid away in the comfort of the greenhouse, her being the only one to truly understand how special the place really was. And she lingers by the doorway for a moment, unsure whether you had managed to calm down yet. ,,Sweetie?'' she asks gently, coaxing you right back into the present and away from your thoughts. As soon as your eyes land on her, you falter, feeling terrible and tears already brimming in your eyes.

,,Delia I'm sorry'' you announce quickly before she walks over to you, her stepped rushed as she wants nothing more than to hold you in her arms. ,,Sweetie'' she coos, tilting her head as she walks over before her arms wrap around you, holding you close to her chest. The two of you stay like this for a while, before she takes in your features, taking your cheeks into her hands. ,,You have nothing to be sorry for darling'' she reassures, locking eyes with you to make her statement more believable. ,,You kept us safe sweetheart'' she speaks before your eyes avert hers again. ,,I wish you would have told me darling, so I could have fixed it though''. Her words are gentle and warm, just like your Delia and somehow you feel safe, believing her and slowly feeling calmer. ,,How about we get you back upstairs sweet girl?'' she tries but your eyes find hers again, betraying your own anxiety as you fear the reaction from the other two.

,,You don't need to worry darling, I promise'' she ushers before taking your hand and leading you back inside. You simply follow, feeling too tired to argue and still feeling the lingering headache. As the two of you walk through the dark academy, you feel safe with Delia as you would follow her everywhere, even straight into hell and back. Before too long, the two of you make it back into your bedroom, Billie already tugged in again, despite being awake, Wilhemina sitting on her usual bedside, awaiting your return. And as you glance at them, you can tell their features are much softer, Cordelia settling behind Billie so she could hold you as she already waits in anticipation to hold you into her arms. Reluctantly, you crawl into bed, sitting there a little awkwardly before Billie pulls you close ,,Please never scare us like this again babydoll'' she warns, her eyes filled with nothing but softness and kindness and you simply nod before she presses a kiss to your cheek, content to have you back in her embrace.

A long time passes, while you stay in Billie's embrace, before you dare glance at Wilhemina who sits in silence beside you. As your eyes meet her own, she carefully observes your features, checking for any signs of lingering pain but all she can find is sadness in your beautiful eyes and it causes for her heart to ache. Subconsciously, your hand wanders towards hers, before holding onto it, and it takes her by surprise but she doesn't mind, simply squeezing it a little to reassure she was there. ,,I-'' you begin speaking but she is quick to stop you. ,,Little one it's okay'' she reassures, knowing that you were about to apologise for the millionth time. ,,You scared me that's all'' she explains as she presses a kiss to the back of your hand. ,,Come here'' she offers and you wiggle away from Billie's arms and move into hers. You find yourself nestled in her arms, as she holds you close before resting her chin on your head, before she begins speaking again ,,I never want you to hide from us again little one'' she scolds a little, her voice remaining gentle. ,,You deserve every bit of care that you show us'' she reminds you.

And as your eyes meet hers, you see the genuine love in them as well as the relief of having you in her arms safe and sound. ,,Promise me'' she urges before you meet her eyes. ,,Promise'' you whisper, smiling at her. ,,Good girl'' she praises before pressing a kiss to your forehead and wrapping you back into her arms. And then as the night wears on, you find yourself where you belong in the arms of your lovers and despite the chaos that today had brought upon the four of you, you know that no matter what, you have each other's back and before you slowly fall asleep, you remember the promise you have made to your girlfriend, wanting to be better and open up to them more. ,,I'm here little one, you're okay'' she coos before your eyelids feel heavier and Wilhemina eventually coaxes you to sleep.

#sarah paulson #cordelia goode #wilhemina venable #ahs #american horror story #billie dean howard #sarah paulson x reader #cordelia goode x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #billie dean howard x reader

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hannibals-favourite-meal · 10 months

Note

hey baby, I would like to request something? if that’s okay💗

angst with rick grimes, if you can? can do a happy ending, don’t have to.

love you💗

.⋆｡I Forgot To Say Goodbye｡⋆.

Rick Grimes x plus size reader

Arguments were not uncommon for you and your husband but they were always resolved by sunset. This time is different

Warnings: ANGST, death, canon typical violence, arguments, canon mc death, brief mention of Carl’s death, pregnant reader

WC: 1.1k

Minors DNI

A/N: I hope you enjoy my love 😘

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“It’s too dangerous! There’s so much that could go wrong!” Your voice was strained and nearing its breaking point. It felt like you had been fighting for days at this point, neither of you willing to back down and admit that you were wrong.

Rick ran a hand through his silvery hair and breathed out a heavy sigh of frustration. “It’s the best plan we have but you’re right, it is too dangerous. So tell me, what great idea do you have that will save us all?” He asked sarcastically.

“Don’t you fucking dare. You know that this is a bad idea too. You’re gonna get all of us killed!” Your eyes burned with tears but you wouldn’t cry, you couldn’t let him think that he got to you.

“At least I’m actually doing something to try and keep us safe.” He spat. Your entire body seized and Rick’s eyes widened. “Darlin-“

You held up your hand, stopping him in his tracks. “I have followed you for years Rick. We’ve survived so much together. I trust you with my whole being but this, this is something that I can’t stand behind. What if the explosives don’t go off in time? What if the bridge doesn’t fall? You’re running into this whole thing blindly and it’s gonna backfire!” You were begging him to listen for once, you needed him and he was ready to kill himself over a plan that you knew would fail.

“What happens if you die? What am I going to do without you? Judith needs you, I need you. Please Rick, we've already lost too much.” You looked at Rick’s old sheriff hat which sat proudly on the mantle in your home. Your husband deliberately looked away, taking a step back.

“Don’t try to tell me what’s at stake. I’m doing this for you! I’m keeping you and Judith safe. I couldn’t-“ He choked on his words for just a moment before he swallowed thickly. “-I couldn’t save Carl but I can do something to save you now. I’ll be back by nightfall.” And before you knew it, his gun was gone from the side table and the door slammed shut behind him.

——————

Judith had been fussy all day- refusing to go down for a nap, throwing her food, even hitting you when you attempted to sooth her. It drove you both to tears and made you feel physically sick. You knew she wanted her dad but she was just too little to understand why he wasn’t there.

Eventually, exhaustion won out and she fell asleep in the bed both you and your husband shared, her little blonde eyebrows scrunched in anger. You tucked a small blanket around her and laid a soft kiss to her forehead. “He’ll be home soon baby, I promise.”

As the sun began to get lower in the sky, your anxiety grew. You busied yourself with chores that had been long put-off, trying desperately not to think of your husband and the horde of walkers he would be facing. But no matter how hard you tried, your mind was fixated on one thing.

No matter the circumstances or how long you two would be apart, Rick always kissed you goodbye. He would always tell you that he loved you like it was the last time he would ever say it. But today, he just left and you didn’t stop him.

The roar of the motorbike drew you from your thoughts. It was well past midnight now but you sighed in relief. You didn’t care about the fight anymore, you just wanted Rick home. Abandoning the laundry you had folded more than three times, you approached the front door just as it swung open.

Daryl stood alone in the doorway, unable to meet your gaze. “Where’s-“ You couldn’t even get the question out before he shook his head, his dark hair falling in front of his face. “Daryl.” Your voice cracked, just the same as your heart.

“He said ta tell ya tha’ he loved ya.” Your ears rung as you collapsed to your knees, shock making your body numb. Vaguely, you could feel Daryl’s hands on your shoulders, attempting to shake you out of it, but you were lost.

He was gone. The love of your life was gone and the last thing you ever did was fight with him. When was the last time you told him that you loved him? He would never know how much you regretted fighting with him. He would never see Judith grow. He would never know-

You were fighting for air, barely able to fill your lungs as your mind spiralled. You could see the way that your friend’s lips moved as he desperately tried to speak to you, but you could hear nothing. Black dots littered your vision, quickly getting larger until the blackness consumed you.

——————

“Mama.” A tiny voice cooed as a little hand pushed against your face. You groaned and tried to roll over but the overzealous toddler followed you.

“Rick, could you get Judith?” The floorboards creaked and then her weight was lifted off of you as Judith squealed. “Thank you.” You stretched out on the mattress, savouring the early morning sunlight on your skin.

“Derl! Derl!” She excitedly yelled. Confused, you forced your eyes open. You were briefly blinded by the brightness of the room before your vision adjusted and you were met with the sight of your dearest friend, holding his niece close to his chest, his blue eyes firmly fixed on you.

Your mind was blank for a moment before last night’s events came rushing back to you. Tears rolled down your cheeks and Daryl panicked. “He’s really gone?” He nodded solemnly, his arms squeezing Judith even tighter.

“‘M sorry. I tried ta stop ‘im.” You waved him off, instead sitting up in the now painfully empty bed.

“I need Judith, please.” Immediately, she was thrust against your chest, Daryl stepped away like you were a wild animal ready to pounce. Your daughter settled easily, her chubby hands curling into your shirt as she laid her head on your collarbone. She breathed out a contented sigh, going limp in your hold.

You wiped away the tears from your face before they could fall into her hair. “You can go. I need to be alone for a while.” His jaw clenched tightly.

“Let me get ya some food. Ya need it for the little one.” But he wasn’t looking at Judith. He left the room quietly but not without dropping his bandana in your open hand, and walked mournfully to the kitchen.

You kissed Judith on her temple and leaned against the headboard, letting the tears fall silently. Rick would never know the child growing steadily in your womb.

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fadingdaggerr · 11 months

Note

Hi luv I love you works so much !!!!!

Idk if you're still taking a request but I have an idea for r and melissa fics :). So r has a big bombastic crush on melissa and so does Melissa but you know how Melissa is, she's acting like she hates r. But then they ended up wrapping a birthday gift together for one of the teachers. And then they confess, kiss and stuff :)

Thank youuuuuuuuu

just how we feel

pairing: melissa schemmenti x gn!reader

summary: request above! eight months at abbot had you convinced melissa hated you, until jacob pairs you together for janine’s birthday celebrations

warnings/includes: insecurity (mel and r), mel is mean to r, angst? or at least angst-adjacent, resolved conflict, confession, little bit of kissing

italicized sections are flashbacks

note: on this episode of ‘sol got a little too into this and they almost forgot the prompt’ did i project onto mel a little in this one. yeah? i did. and we’re gonna say NOTHING. n e ways. enjoy <3

your first day at abbott all those months ago had been a rocky start, but now the school practically felt like home. the kids were sweet and pretty funny, full of unbridled energy, but sweet and funny nonetheless. most of your fellow teachers were nice, helpful even. janine seemed to be the most excited about you joining the team, jacob a close second. you were thankful for gregory’s calm presence when you sat with them, both of you just allowing the other two to speak to their hearts’ content. ava had told you she was ‘glad there was someone close to her level of sexy,’ because apparently being the only one was exhausting for her.

your eyes landed on a redhead seated close to the coffee maker. big green eyes and glossy lips, her leather jacket exuding confidence for her. she caught onto your careful staring, her eyes scanned over you quickly, lingering briefly when your eyes met. you smiled lightly under her attention, giving her a tiny wave. she looked down instead of replying.

for the first month, you hadn’t said much more than hello and good morning to barbara or melissa. eyes of aventurine burned holes into you every time you so much as tried to speak to one of them, to the point where you only greeted barbara when she was alone, never saying a word to the redhead. you wished those beautiful eyes would look at you with something other than disdain, and maybe her voice would hold flowers instead of thorns.

you had tried, you really did. melissa’s presence was alluring, her laugh and smile were unbelievably beautiful, even if they were never directed towards you. it was a struggle to not even look at her, but being caught felt like it would result in being screamed at. you tried small waves, even just a nod of acknowledgment, but no matter what you did, you were always met with cold response.

“good morning, melissa,” you said with a soft smile as you poured yourself a cup of bitter coffee.

“yeah,” was all she responded with.

it hurt to no end. for some reason that you apparently weren’t worthy of knowing, melissa schemmenti hated you.

after six long months, and a new school year, barbara had started to make little visits to you classroom before the day started. most conversations were pleasant, and always ending at exactly the same time. the moment melissa walked into the building, you were back to being by yourself.

—

getting in early gave you a sense of control. everything could be set up before anyone, even other teachers, could see otherwise felt nice. what was also nice was that barbara and gregory were the only other two that showed up just after you, janine only a few minutes behind them. early mornings meant you could speak to your coworkers, especially barbara, without anxiety eating you inside-out.

“baby, i haven’t seen you all week! how was your weekend?” barbara asks from your doorway with a kind smile.

“oh, hey barb. it was good, little sad about the rain though,” you say with a small pout, “i was supposed to go to this mini-market my neighborhood has. how was yours?”

an excited look crosses her face, “oh, it was lovely. gerald and i went out to dinner saturday, just the two of us. sunday we had brunch with melissa at gustavo’s.”

the mention of melissa’s name made your content smile falter. she was incredibly guarded with everyone, that wasn’t your problem. it was that everyone else, even the worst and actually annoying ones, at least got a small smile and a greeting. you didn’t even get an acknowledgment other than the occasional glare that came when you entered the lounge.

“that’s nice,” you said with a tight-lipped smile, turning away to adjust a stack of quizzes on your desk. you miss the way barbara looks at you with confusion, your reaction feeling off to her. the clock ticked, telling you it’s time for melissa to arrive. turning to barbara, you swallow your emotions, “i’ll see you later barb.”

that same day at lunch you quickly dropped quarters into the vending machine with shaking fingers, melissa standing beside you, waiting her turn. the last iced tea drops down and you hear a huff from the redhead’s lips behind you, then catch sight of her moving to sit down. the defeat written on her face told you that the iced tea was something she liked, had even been looking forward to. a nagging feeling pulled at your heart, the desire too strong to get rid of the barely noticeable frown on her lips.

you walk over and place the raspberry iced tea on the table in front of her, “have a nice day, miss schemmenti.” you left quickly, not wanting to see the disgust for you on her features. if you had stayed you would’ve seen the sad look across her face at the interaction, namely your departure.

—

early november was filled with secret meetings before students arrived, and most importantly, before janine arrived. you had all avoided her like the plague, scared to reveal secrets about her upcoming birthday. twenty-six is a very big deal, according to jacob, but so was her twenty-fifth.

you all played along with jacob’s plans and enthusiasm, he even somehow convinced barbara to take janine out for a one-on-one breakfast as a birthday surprise. ava had agreed to one singular day of not making fun of janine for anything, even her clothes ava! gregory stayed private about his plans for janine’s birthday. even with all of you were practically begging him to spill the beans, he kept his mouth shut with a little smile making its way forward.

jacob had divided the rest of the gifts that janine absolutely needed between himself and zach, you, and melissa. he had already planned when to get the big gift, whatever it was, with zach over the weekend. this meant he had assigned you and melissa to buying and arranging the decorations. when he suggested this, you wished you hadn’t looked over to melissa. you watch her head bow down, muttering something under her breath with a face of annoyance. when her eyes looked up to meet yours, you immediately looked away and picked at your nails.

five minutes before janine was to arrive, your secret meeting ended, everyone quickly going to their typical places. in the lounge you stand next to barbara where she sits at her table with melissa.

it took a couple deep breaths before speaking to calm yourself. after fumbling with your bag to grab your wallet, you drop two twenties in front of melissa, “here, money for the decorations. saves you from having to deal with me.” and with that, you leave the lounge and walk to your classroom, leaving melissa behind with a frown.

the redhead turns to barbara, “what was that?” barbara only responds with a sharp glare and a shake of the head. melissa’s head perks up to see if anyone else had witnessed it, but jacob and gregory are quick to turn away and avoid her gaze. she turns back to barbara, “what?!”

ava is the only one brave enough to say, “that was the final straw in live action.”

“what does that mean?” melissa is fuming, which is only worsened when jacob mumbles under his breath, “what did you say, hill?”

with wide eyes, and hands gripping the table as if he would throw it if she attacked, jacob says quickly, “if you’re rude to someone all the time, they’re gonna be rude back.”

“that schemmenti snark is great, but pissy smurf is a human too, even if you hate them,” ava speaks up again. her words actually stopped melissa’s thoughts for a second. hate you? when did she say she hated you? she didn’t hate you, yet everyone else seemed to agree on it.

gregory clears his throat, “just saying, the response to ‘good morning,’ typically isn’t just ‘yeah’ or ignoring it completely.”

“am i really that bad?” melissa asks in a quieter tone, only barbara picking up on the insecurity. the silence from everyone is more than telling, making melissa think to herself for a moment. you hadn’t eaten in the teachers’ lounge since your second week at abbott, the last time she’d seen you here was after janine’s friend ruined her books.

she walked into the lounge to take a breather, not even noticing anyone else was in the room. when you saw her flushed face and her hands tensing into fists, you’d asked her if she was alright and if she needed or wanted help, a kind expression despite the worry behind your eyes. seeing melissa upset made you feel the need to act for a reason you couldn’t place yet, but her apprehension towards you grew your own doubt. when she turned to look at you, the anger and resentment on her face only grew.

“do i look like i need your fucking help?”

you stuttered back a bit at the aggressive nature of her tone, the stone cold look in her eyes making you feel small. you blinked quickly, only answering with a mumbled ‘sorry’ before leaving.

thinking about the interaction, her heart shattered for you and anger for herself rose. you’d done nothing but try to show her some semblance of kindness, even when she was horrible to you. she yelled at you, swore at you, and you still gave her your iced tea, held doors, and last week you brushed the light dusting of snow off her car before you left.

“fuck it,” she says as she stands and heads down the hallway. she was going to talk to you, even if she had never actually done so before. when she reaches your classroom, she wipes sweaty hands on her shirt, nerves eating her alive. it shouldn’t be this hard to talk to you, but the knowledge that you were sure she hated you made the task impossible. she peeks in the window and sees you stabbing at something in tupperware, but not eating it. she finds some amount of courage to knock.

“open,” you call out. when you turn to see who entered, your shoulders tense immediately. your mouth moves faster than your brain and you ask her, “was i not allowed to stand near your table? i’ll make note for next time.”

melissa visibly cringes at the comment but doesn’t retaliate, she knows she deserved that one. she looks down at the floor for a moment, then back to you, “i don’t hate you.”

“you don’t even look like you believe that,” you turn your chair to face her, leaned back with your arms crossed. you sigh, “it’s fine, don’t dwell on it. i’m not going to anymore.”

“i don’t hate you,” melissa repeats, “but i know i haven’t done anything to help my case.”

“no, you haven’t,” you say, looking at the floor as you stand from the chair. you lean against the desk and face melissa, doubt written across your expression. you sigh, “but you can try to help it now. maybe explain why i walked into abbott and became a god damn pariah.”

she closes the door behind herself and leans against the wall across from you. she’s never been so nervous, but with your eyes trained on her instead of jumping away, her heart races.

she fusses with her rings for a second then says, “i don’t like new people. never have, probably never will. that’s not an excuse, i know.” you nod, understanding part of her original apprehension but motion for her to continue. she thankful for a second and goes on, “you’re so warm to everyone, even me, even when i’m not. stupid thing, i like how nice you are to me, how for some reason you think of me even when i’m,” she gestures up and down herself, “me.”

you blink a couple times, collecting your thoughts, “you like that i’m nice to everyone, to you, so you swear at me and never respond when i say good morning?”

she takes a sharp inhale, “…yes. i’m not used to that, there’s no catch, no little jokes or whatever, just nice. i don’t want people looking at me, talking to me, it’s bleh,” she appreciates the little laugh you let out, “but from you, it feels different, good different. and i’m an idiot apparently because i fight it, i fight ‘cause i’m expecting the shoe to drop. but there’s no shoes! not until it was a bad different, especially coming from you, and it was my fault.”

melissa hadn’t realized her eyes had began to water at her words. she’d never been good at this, verbalizing feelings when she didn’t fully understand what they were. she glanced up at you, expecting anger written in the lines of your face, only to find what she could only think was empathy, perhaps understanding. you nod, letting her continue, seeing the nervous look on her face telling you there was more.

“the yelling at you, i am so, so sorry. she destroyed hundreds of dollars of books and i was so angry, i didn’t think about what i said, who i said it to. dio, i wished i could punch myself in the mouth after i said it,” she wants to cry just remembering your face when she snapped at you, “even after you look at me, and there’s no anger, nothing. and i cant read what’s going on, and i try to figure it out, but you look away.”

you looked at her, then the floor in front of her, a silent request to step closer. she accepts by relaxing her tight shoulders, only three feet laying between the two of you now. she can smell the rain that lingered on your clothes from the walk in mixing with eucalyptus, the combination and your presence somehow calming her a little.

“i understand what you mean. i don’t like different either. hate it, actually. but, abbott is good different, and it started to feel less good when i got yelled at, stared at, and flat out ignored otherwise.” she nods quickly, accepting blame for it all. talking to you now, she’s never felt more like an asshole, from new york.

“hon, i’m so sorry for everything i’ve said and done. i know none of what i said excuses it, i just wanted to explain. i’ll be better, i’ll work on it,” she puts out her pinky. you squint at it, then her, “and you can tell barb on me any time or you can just yell at me.” she decidedly likes the laugh that bubbles out from you.

“deal,” you say as you wrap your pinky around hers, both of you giving the other a shake.

—

saturday melissa picked you up from your apartment to go shopping for janine’s present. she bounced on the balls of her feet as she waited for the buzzer to alert her you’d let her in. she walked up the stairs with nerves desperately trying to pull her back, but she pressed on. she felt more nervous knocking on your door now than she did the other day. what has gotten into me, she grumbled go herself.

she can hear footsteps approaching and she steps back instinctively. when you open the door she’s greeted by the sight of your out of work clothes, fuzzy orange slippers with smileys still on your feet.

“hey,” melissa says as you move to let her in. she’s cautious in her movements into your apartment, looking only at the floor.

shutting and locking the door quickly behind her, you reply, “hi.”

“scared someone will steal your cute little slippers?” melissa tries not to let her heart kick her ribs when you roll your eyes with a little laugh.

“obviously. well, and my cat,” you say as you place dirty dishes in the sink for later.

melissa scanned around the apartment, there was a scratch tower, but no sign of a cat, “can other people see this cat?”

you chuckle as you walk over to the tv, reaching behind it. a giant fluffy brown cat is revealed, now cradled in your arms like a baby. you walk over to her, “this…” you present him with a big smile on your face, “is frank. i’m pretty sure he thinks if he’s behind the tv then it means he’s on the screen.”

melissa smiles at the cat who is like a puddle in your arms, she raises a hand and shakes his paw that sticks up, “nice to meet you, frank.” the cat blinks at her a couple times before turning in your arms to drop to the floor and running to sit on his perch.

“i think that’s him saying we have obscene amount of ribbon and stickers to buy and he won’t hold us up,” you giggle, sliding off your slippers and grabbing what could only be described as the first pair of converse to ever exist. melissa thinks they may have once been grey, but she’s not sure you’d even remember.

apparently craft stores are the place to be on a saturday afternoon in november. you were both stood in the party aisle, trying to pick a theme and decorations out. the options were plentiful, but so was the obnoxiousness of it all, glitter and shimmers everywhere. all very janine, but very not the two of you.

melissa leans to you and asks, “what if we just got her a glitter step stool?”

“she’d be too scared to use it,” you say through a laugh. you reach towards a light blue and purple floral set of table decorations, across it, golden glitter decorating the edges. holding it up to melissa, she shrugs with a nod, it was the least offensive to the eyes and had janine written all over it.

you and melissa walked around and grabbed light blue plastic tablecloths, other little floral decoration from that theme, and some paper and markers for a sign. you ran back while in line to grab stickers and plastic photo stands, leaving melissa with very full arms. melissa’s hands shake when she gives the cashier the money from her wallet, the two twenties you placed in front of her staring at her from the pocket. the walk to the car was easy, the drive back to your place was comforting in a way.

“jacob gave me a deck of pictures to put in the little clip things,” you say as you unlock your door, letting melissa in first.

“i don’t even want to know how he got them,” she jokes, though she’s suddenly tense. she doesn’t have time to think of why before she feels something brush against her leg, seeing frank at her feet.

she watches you tread to what she can guess is your bedroom, and when you return, you have pictures in hand and franks attention, the fluff ball running to you immediately. melissa watches you flick through pictures, seeing your facial expressions morph from awww to oh god.

“i’m scared of jacob for real now. pretty sure he stole her camera or hacked into her phone to get these,” you say as you face a couple odd ones toward her. by the looks of it all, you were right, jacob might be terrifying.

she grabs the bag with the decorations and art supplies, spreading everything out on the coffee table, “let’s do this.”

after about half an hour, you’d grown quiet and your pace had slowed down in the lettering on the poster. melissa could tell you were really paying attention to what you were doing, solely running on autopilot as you though about something. she flicked a little paper sticker-back at you to get your attention, you head shaking with a sharp inhale.

“you’re thinking do hard you might cause an earthquake,” melissa says, making you smile a bit, “what’s up?”

“the other day, the stuff you said about different and stuff,” you take a breath in, “what did you mean when you said me talking to you and whatever was good different?”

it’s melissa turn to go quiet and get a tad bit shy. her mind immediately started thinking of anything she could say that wasn’t the truth, that could placate you and this conversation. as much as she wanted to just say you don’t suck, she can’t find herself wanting to lie to you, especially after you’d given her a chance for honesty.

she huffs a little laugh at herself, “i don’t fully know, if i’m being honest. sometimes attention from people is suffocating, annoying really, but from you it’s not. it feels kinda nice, actually, like this… i don’t know, like this fluttery feeling,” she says as she places stickers on the page in front of her, “until you look away and i can’t look back at least. i don’t even know why you’re staring, but you always are.”

your eyes fall to your lap, and melissa watches you pick at your nails. she’d noticed this habit, always seeing it when she caught you staring at her. she wishes she hadn’t been that honest. you muster the grit to quietly say, “i wasn’t staring at you or judging you, melissa. well i- i guess i was staring, which is rude but it wasn’t not like that. sometimes i just try to see what’s going on, what i’m doing wrong.”

melissa feels her heart aches at your words, you’d never done anything wrong to her yet you worried. you had tried to learn how to change to get her to like you when you never had to. she watches your gaze flick to her then back to your nails, her own quiet question on her lips, “and the other times?”

your lips purse as you feel heat run to your cheeks. “you’re really pretty, y’know? it’s kinda hard not to notice. sometimes i don’t even realize i’m doing it until you look back, then i have to tell myself to stop doing it cause it’s probably creepy and you probably hated it, and me,” you answered quietly, ceasing the feigned interest in your nails and finally looking at her.

that was… definitely not the answer melissa was expecting, though truthfully there wasn’t a real guess as to what you would say. her mind was buzzing at everything you said, but especially that you said said she’s pretty. you thought melissa was pretty.

she licks her lips, now visibly nervous, “don’t try to be all sweet and try to win my favor. we’ve been over that last part, i don’t hate you.”

you shuffle to sit on your knees, leaning over the table on your elbow, propping your face in your hands, “i’m not trying to win your favor. you asked me a question, and i answered it. honestly. but now it’s my turn to ask a question.”

“what’s your question?” melissa barely gets the sentence out. she’s stuck in her place by your words and your sudden closeness. you’re close enough to touch, but she can’t and she won’t. she doesn’t deserve to after how she’s treated you.

“fluttery feeling?” you kept your question simple, letting her say whatever she wanted without pressuring her.

she let out a puff, anxiety striking her. you’d been completely open with her, she owed you the same. she looked back to you, “you know, you think i’m pretty or whatever, so i’m guessing you haven’t seen yourself.” you chuckle at jokingly shocked expression, hear running to your cheeks. she cracks a little smile as she goes on, “any attention from you made me get all nervous, hence the snapping. i think i was embarrassed that i like the attention from you. you, specifically.”

as much as you had tried to hide the smile on your face, you couldn’t. melissa adored the way you tried your damned hardest, but you simply couldn’t. it was contagious, her own smile forming on her lips.

through a little laugh you say, “that the gayest thing you’ve ever said.”

melissa gasps out a laugh, “there are other gay things i’ve said?”

“are you kidding me? you said ‘decisive women are hot’ last week,” you say as your push down your laughter.

melissa swipes her hand down her face in defeat, “you got me there.”

your laughter dies down after a moment, you clear your throat saying, “for the record, you give me that fluttery feeling too. probably why i’m such a try-hard for your attention.”

melissa leans forward a bit, leaving only a few inches between you now. your tongue poked out to wet your lips, eyes flicking down to hers. it doesn’t go unnoticed by melissa as she takes the opportunity to take her gaze across your face. she finally speaks, “is that right?”

all you can manage is a small nod. melissa fights a smile as she reaches out gently nudge one of your hands away from your face, holding it in hers. she pulls you in by the hand, asking you with her eyes. she’s met again with a nod.

she lets go of your hand to cradle your face pulling you closer, she stops just before your lips can touch, asking you again. you answer by leaning in and pressing your lips to hers, soft and sweet. melissa sighs into her kiss, all the anxiety and nerves leaving her the second your lips met, her entire focus only on how gentle you were with her.

without disconnecting your lips, she’s moved around the corner of the coffee table that divided you, pressing into you more. your hands moved to delicately hold either of her neck, pulling her as close as you could. melissa’s free hand rests on your thigh, the warmth radiating off of you grounding her. just as her tongue swipes against your bottom lip, a rattle from next to you makes you both jump apart. looking to her right, melissa sees frank on the table, gnawing at one of the little daisy table decorations.

“christ, frankie. no, no, that’s not yours,” you scowled at the cat as you picked him up. you place him on the cat tower, “kill the vibe or the decorations, pick one not both. little jerk.” frank licks your hand, maybe as a sorry, “fine, apology granted.”

melissa just watched you, almost in a trance. you sit back down in front of her, grabbing her hand. “sorry about him,” you mumble.

“don’t worry about it. i think that him telling me i should ask you on a date first,” she says, looking up at your through dark lashes.

“is that right?” your mirror her words from earlier.

she breaths a little laugh, “yeah. i was thinking dinner, maybe. tomorrow? seven?”

“tomorrow at seven. i’m guessing we’re not having italian because it’s definitely never going to be as good as something you make,” you say.

melissa laughs and nods in agreement. she glances at the decorations and sign on the table, “we should probably finish that.”

you spend the next hour finishing everything up, only talking about little things. both of you wanted to save everything else for the date, something you had both silent agreed upon. when melissa was leaving, she looked back at you for a moment before saying, “i’ll pick you up at seven tomorrow. i’ll text you where we’re going once i find something.”

you smile, “sounds perfect. i’ll see you at seven, melissa.”

melissa sits in her car in the parking lot for a solid five minutes just grinning like a fool to herself. she wished she had sucked it up sooner and admitted it but she would change anything, not when she finally got her chance.

yeah went a little ham on this one. anyways thank you so much for the request i hope you liked it :) title is from flaming hot cheetos by clairo

as always, feedback is appreciated

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #lisa ann walter #abbott elementary

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ell-alexanderarnold · 1 year

Note

‏You two have a conversation late at night, and because of the touchy-feely you open up to him more which makes you cry. And him end up comforting you then you realize how lucky you are to have someone like him with all his disadvantages and best qualities. And maybe it ends up kissing you or you can choose the end

Sorry for prolonging💋

Apocalypse

Fluff

Warnings: Anxious reader, panic attack (don’t read if any of these may trigger you <3)

Note: I loved this request so much! I also listened to Apocalypse while writing it🤍

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

It’s been a long week, you’ve been caught up with work everyday. The first thing you do when you come home is to crash on the sofa and you couldn’t help to accidentally fall asleep.

Trent eventually came home and found you sleeping, nudging you lightly to wake you up.

“Y/n” He whispered as he rubbed your back. You slowly started moving and opened your eyes to see Trent beside you.

“Hey” Trent cooed and you gave him a weak smile.

“I thought you were at the training ground” You said and let out a yawn whilst he looked at you with admiration.

“I just came home, you gotta get ready though” Trent told you.

“Ready for what?” You thoughtfully asked him, not knowing what he was talking about.

“The team family dinner” He revealed and jumped up from the sofa in chock.

“Fuck, I completely forgot!” You gasped. You have had so much this week that you forgot the dinner. You were exhausted and in that way it will be a real challenge to put on a good mood for everyone you’ll meet.

“It’s okay Y/n, we’re leaving in one hour. Just try to get ready on time” Trent reassured and you went straight upstairs to get ready.

When you applied your makeup you were holding back tears. Tears that have been stored in your eyes for a long time now. You could only let out your emotions when Trent wasn’t home because you didn’t want him to worry. You heard him approach the room and immediately wiped off the tears that ran down your face and put on a smile for him.

“I’m almost ready Trent” You spoke as he walked in the room, making his way to the closet.

“Good, we’re leaving in five” Trent replied and came out of the closet in his outfit for the night. You got up from your makeup table and met Trent’s eyes.

“Have you cried Y/n?” He noted and looked at you with concern.

“Allergies, you know” You simply answered not wanting to make a big deal before leaving.

“Hmm, since when did you become allergic” He chuckled, lighting up your day with his laughter.

“Don’t know, but we should leave now” You considered, not wanting to run late as you and Trent usually do.

You and Trent left the house and drove to the dinner. You felt a knot in your stomach and Trent holding your hand didn’t take the anxiety away. Again you didn’t want him to be worried so you kept it all inside knowing that at some point it will overflow. But not now, now you were going to put on a smiley face and pretend to be happy in front of all the wags and your boyfriend’s teammates.

It felt wrong, you hated to pretend and it was killing you. All of the wags looked so happy and pretty and you couldn’t help yourself to compare yourself with them.

When the last dish for the night came everything was spinning. You couldn’t focus on the food or engage in any of the conversations the people around you was having. You just stared at the ground and felt a hand slip into yours.

“Are you okay baby?” Trent whispered in your ear and you turned your head to look at him.

“Hmm” You affirmed but Trent knew you, he knew something was going on. This time your lies couldn’t trick him.

“I know you, something’s wrong Y/n”

“I’m just a bit tired Trent it’s okay” You declared and he didn’t give up.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked and you nodded slightly. You and Trent made your excuses and left the team dinner.

In the car back home your feelings were just the same as before, still the knot in your stomach and the anxiety that wouldn’t go away.

“I’ll run you a hot bath, Y/n” Trent advised whilst you two entered the door.

The bath helped in the moment, Trent gave you some snacks and you were starting to feel better. But the minute you stepped out of the bath, the feelings came back. You didn’t know what to do, you didn’t want to tell Trent so there was no way out.

You did your skincare and the tears kept streaming down your face, you took a deep breath preparing yourself to lay down in the bed with Trent.

Music was playing on the tv and Trent was scrolling on his phone, you on the other hand just sat there in the bed. Your legs began to shake and breathing becomes more difficult. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. You needed to tell him.

“Trent…” You sniffled as he immediately turned off his phone and turned his attention to you.

“I know, come here” He comforted and you started to sob against his chest. Something about it was relieving, all your emotions came out at once and you couldn’t control it.

“Shh Y/n I’m here” He expressed and held onto you tight. Trent saw what you was going through and he couldn’t stop the tears that was forming in his eyes.

“What’s wrong my love?” He whispered.

“Y/n?”

You cried for a while, you didn’t know for how long but it felt safe just to cry out to Trent who was there for you the entire time.

“I don’t know how to explain” You spoke up.

“It’s okay, I got you” Said Trent as he still held you, he didn’t want to let go of you.

“Everyone seemed so happy at the dinner and I just sat there miserable” You rambled as you still cried and tried to take deep breaths.

“I’m so exhausted” You revealed and sighed, Trent kissed your forehead and you continued to cry.

“Why haven’t you told me this Y/n?” He inquired and realised why you’ve been avoiding his questions about your wellbeing.

“I didn’t want you to worry, you have to focus on your career, not me Trent” You noted and started to listen to the song that came on in the background.

“Y/n you are a hundredth times more important than that, do you understand?” Trent claimed and stroke your head gently.

“I just feel alone” You continued and started to feel more calm.

“You’re not baby, I’m right here and I want to help you feel better for each day.” He consoled, you were overwhelmed by his words and actions. You understood that he really cares for you and it made your heart swell with happiness.

“When you're all alone, I'll reach for you. When you're feelin' low, I'll be there too” He hummed and sang along to the song playing in the background. You laughed at him, he wasn’t very much of a singer and you have debated it with him multiple times in the car during your karaoke fights.

“I love you so much T, what would I do without you” You announced after a few minutes of silence with only the music playing in the background.

“I love you more, words cannot explain” Trent uttered and you kissed his heart shaped lips passionately.

“You’re a terrible singer by the way” You noted and laughed, Trent laughed with you and gave you one more kiss as you fell asleep safely in his embrace.

Thanks for reading 🫂🫶🏻

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold fluff #liverpool fc #england x reader #footballer x reader #trent imagine #trent x reader #football imagine #trent alexander arnold fanfic #trent alexander arnold fic #trent alexander arnold imagines #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold one shot #england nt

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orchid-mantis-petals · 4 months

Text

WHEN HOME BECOMES YOU CHAPTER 7

/ Hey!! Hello!! a little later than intended but here she is Chapter 7

/ As always a thank you to @maximumkillshot and @taeminsung not only my muses but my spirit guides as I write this story.

/ In the next coming weeks I am going to try and officially build a schedule to follow and post to. That is all the news for now. ONWARD!!

/ Genre: angst, fluff, comfort, a little bit of crack

/ Warnings: talks of sleep, anxiety, ptsd, insomnia, fear, sadness, Swearing

/ Summary:

“What about family??”

“I haven’t heard from them in nearly five years,” a gasp left him, his plump lips sucked into his own teeth. “Chan don’t fret over them, they weren’t kind to me. I chose to leave them behind. My friends, my true family knew that leaving America was the right choice for me. My fresh start,”

“We could be your family,” it was such a simple thing for him to say, but you knew deep in his heart he meant it. Every word of it.

When morning came it was the first thing you noticed was your sleep had been dreamless. Not a thought behind your eyes, as you opened them to the renewed space that you had been given. The silk sheets slid against your skin cool to the touch. It was refreshing against your body. When you finally slipped out of the bed you stretched high and long, the bright morning light that cast over the city calmed your soul. It was as though Felix and Han had come to grace you even though he wasn’t there. You took a picture of the sunrise, and sent it to him and Han with a message attached.

‘Thank you for the sunshine boys,’

Their responses back quick and sweet as you readied for the day. The gym was your first goal, with a smoothie in hand you made your way to the JYP building. On your way out you spied the extra helmet at your door. There was no rhyme or reason for it but you took it with you. At the building you got in your scheduled time for your gym session. There hadn’t been time to have long planned workouts, Stray Kids’ long winded, fully filled schedules made sure of that. You still found time, whether it be in your hotel room or in the sparse hour or so of free time they had. You liked to dedicate that time to keeping your body in shape for your work. Afterward you looked at your phone. In your month with the boys you had found it easier to just sync your calendar to Chan’s. But as you scrolled through your phone there were no events scheduled. Which was odd, you always had their schedule. Aside from a few meetings in the later afternoon you didn’t have much to do. So after your shower you wandered up to Chan’s studio. With a gentle knock you waited for him to let you in. His voice was distant beyond the door but he beckoned you to come inside. Your eyes cast still down, cast to your phone screen.

“Chan, did you add me to the current calendar?? It isn’t showing up on my phone,” when you looked up you finally took stock of him.

“Shi, I forgot, hold on,” the shadows under his eyes seemed darker, a deeper color to the skin around his lids. You saw his shoulders sagged, his hoodie heavy against his body. As though the entirety of it was a weight that dragged against him. There was a hunch to his back as he leaned over to grab his phone from his bag on the floor. Once retrieved, your phone dinged as he added you to the calendar events for the next two months. Your eyes flashed over the prior days schedule, on it you saw 3Racha had been scheduled for NIZI. A current production of the company that featured the producing team of Stray Kids as judges for future JYP groups. By now it had a few seasons, the original purpose was to have various idol coach trainees. There wasn’t much to Chan you knew, not yet anyway. But it was clear in your eyes that he was exhausted. Beyond that, sleep seemed to evade him. You could see that in every part of his body.

“Are you alright??” You knew the answer, no, but would he say so?? Or would he lie to you.

“I-I don’t know. I am exhausted,”

“How much sleep have you gotten??”

“When??” there was a shrug, that shifted the weight of his hoodie back more. You would reprimand him, would have, had you not known the struggle he had with insomnia. How it affected his daily life, the entity that shrouded over him.

“Tell me about it,” your body settled on the studio couch at the back of the room. It was a staple to their videos, well known and well loved. His eyes roamed over you, the light of the room cast a gold glow over his irises. A hidden color in the deep brown pools. There was a wobble to his lip, a fight he couldn’t keep up due to the tiredness that ebbed off him.

“We had to, we, there was,” he couldn’t gather his thoughts, too many of them all at once. You watched as his eyes darted around the room, as he tried to find the thoughts that plagued him. Slowly you reached across the room your hand slid into his, a squeeze to assure him that you were there.

“Take your time,”

“I-It is really hard to work on this NIZI project. While I enjoy having the time and ability to cultivate the young minds of the new Idol generation. It is also hard to see myself within them,” from what little you know of him, the years he had spent as a trainee. Some of the younger members often remarked on how many years it had been, how he was the longest trainee in the company's current history. You didn’t speak, not until he had finished, his thoughts gathered more before he stood to pace the room. “I worry for them, for those who don’t make it. I know the strength of this industry, like the back of my hand. They would not survive it if we let them Debut. But it guts me to have to let them go. To see their faces as I crush their dreams, their hopes. I remember when I was there, when I felt that,” you reached out to him. You dragged him to the couch beside you, with a pat on the middle seat you turned to look at him.

“I may not know the reasons, the whys of it all. There are experiences of yours that I may not understand. But I can say this, those trainees are safer with you there to guide them. Because you know, you know what it is like to hit those points in life. How hard it is to be in that darkness, there is no one more qualified to know if these boys can or will make it in this career,” his head tipped back with a deep sigh, you watched his anxiety float off of him. His hoodie became a comfort rather than a weight against him. Beside him you felt safe, all of these boys had this effect on you.

“Y/N, tell me how did you know??” your lip tucked into your teeth as you pulled your knees up to your chest.

“Because, Chan. I know what it is like to feel so hopeless. As though the entire world had turned on you. When this job was offered to me I didn’t hesitate to take it. There was nothing left for me in America. Few people to love, and those who I do wanted me to chase this dream,”

“What about family??”

“We could be your family,” it was such a simple thing for him to say, but you knew deep in his heart he meant it. Every word of it.

“I think I would like that very much,” you smiled at him, the soft pull of your lips mirrored on his as he watched you. Whatever work the two of you had forgotten in the deep conversations you engaged in. Soon enough silence followed your voice. As your head turned to look at him, eyebrows raised in a quizzical manner. Chan was passed out against the back of the couch. His neck cocked at an odd angle as his breath came out in soft huffs. You laughed softly as you moved to pull him down away from the couch back. Your own body moved so you could continue work as he slept. After your laptop was set up on the coffee table, earbuds on and in you moved Chan. His head came to rest on your thighs. With slow and careful movements you adjusted him into a comfortable position on your lap. When he didn’t stir at all you knew he was exhausted. His body was a heavy weight next to and against you. It was all worth the ache that would come later, to see him so relaxed with you, next to you.

An hour and a half passed, three of your meetings finished by the time the door opened. Changbin emerged from the other side. Your hand stilled in Chan's hair as you raised your index finger to your lips. An ask to be quiet as he putted about the room. Soon he joined you. He chose the free office chair, his own laptop beside yours as he worked. A few minutes later he was deep into his work, his head bopped to whatever beat that had been stuck in his head now out for the universe to see and hear. Eventually he passed the headphones to you, a silent offer to listen. You wanted to, but the man in your lap prevented you from moving. Changbin nodded, he moved around the table. Settled the headphones over your head before he moved back to play the beat he just created. Chan stirred beneath you a shiver wracked his spine, his hoodie abandoned on the chair Chanbin sat in. Before you listened to the beat you reached back behind the couch. A random spotify blanket that was haphazardly draped over the couch. You settled it over him, softly tucked the back of it to his body. A small cocoon is what he became. As the blanket settled over him you and Changbin watched as he tucked his nose under the soft fabric, a soft sigh escaped him as he nuzzled into your thigh and the blanket. The beat all but abandoned as Changbin stood, hand over his mouth to muffle the scream that was locked in his chest. You watched as he slipped away into the recording booth. A sound proof space you noticed as he let his hand drop to let out the scream. After a few moments he returned phone in hand to snap a picture of Chan asleep in your lap. Happily you let him.

“Thank you,” he mouthed as he returned to his seat to play the beat he’d created. When it started you listened intently, your own head moved to the intricate sound he created in mere minutes. When it was finished you removed the headphones and let Changbin take them back from you. He waited patiently for your feedback.

“It was good,” you whispered as you settled your fingers across your keys to finish out some paperwork for a couple staff transfers. The tranquil silence that was created between the three of you was broken when the door swung open once more. This time Han entered the room, at the sight of you he squealed. His voice was loud as he rushed over to you for a hug. The movements jostled Chan in your lap effectively waking the poor man.

“Hannie, you need to look around first,” Changbin scolded as he pulled the younger man away from you. He worried he squashed Chan in his effort to hug you.

“I am so sorry Chan,” your fingers carded into the dark haired man's locks in your lap in hopes you would ease the startled feeling he must have from being woken up so abruptly. There was a heavy sigh before he forced himself upright with a groan.

“It’s alright Sungie, we need to work anyway,” his eyes met yours with a silent thank you for the kindness you had offered him today. You just smiled at him and stood as you collected your belongings.

“Well I will let you three get to it. Can’t keep the geniuses from marking their art,” you made sure to give Han a proper hug before you left them for the rest of the day. Han protested a small bit before Chan dragged him to the recording booth.

“We need to make guides Han,”

**** **** **** ****

Work that afternoon had become hard for him. It wasn’t the usual back and forth banter he’d have with Chan or the constant nag from Han to change something that kept him distracted. No it was you, Changbin was utterly entrapped by the presence you had created in his life. In the lives of his small family. His Whimsy, the kind soul that remained a mystery.

“What do you think of this Changbin??” He wasn’t paying attention, not in the slightest. His mind elsewhere, to the place you sat on that couch. Your nimble fingers tapped lightly away at your keyboard, movements small to keep Chan from waking in your lap below you. There was kindness in every action you took toward them. How he longed to be the person to rest his head over your plush thighs, to be given the permission to exist like that with you. He was not jealous of Chan, not in the slightest. Rather he was so happy to have found his leader passed out, you had guided him to sleep. Changbin was thankful you had gifted the older man the short nap he was given. “Bin,” his head finally turned to meet Chan, eyebrows raised as he hummed in return.

“Mm what??”

“Channie-Hyung, hes lovestruck,” Han sing-songed as he spun in his chair before he returned to the main desk. Changbin felt his hands wrap around his shoulders as he giggled. “I don’t blame you she's pretty,”

“It’s not just that Hannie,” his hands raked over his face as an exasperated sigh left his lips. “She's gorgeous, stunning. But it, it’s not just that. There is this kindness to her. She works so hard to protect us. I want to hear her voice everyday, listen to her speak to me. Around me, her existence in its own right is exquisite,” his mouth moved before he even had time to stop it. The words tumbled out of him, the experience not far off from when he created lyrics. All of it spilled out of him, heart bare and open for his members to see.

“Ask her on a date,” Chan remarked, his fingers typed away at the computer as he arranged the music again. It didn’t fit, not yet. Changbin groaned, unable to now form words for the pure discontentment he had with the idea. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to ask you out. It was that he wasn’t sure how. Or even where to begin. “Just simply ask her out to dinner,”

“I can’t,” he groaned as his head came to thump against the desk effectively rattling the contents that lay strewn about it.

“You can just simply say ��hey Y/N let's go get dinner.’ Easy as pie,” was it really?? It didn’t feel that way not to him. Chan sighed this time his eyes glanced over the clock on his computer before he moved back with a stretch. “Well speaking of dinner, since we can’t seem to focus we might as well head to the dorms for a break,” Changbin hadn’t planned to protest, not when he truly couldn’t focus on the task at hand. Not when you caused a welcome plague over his mind.

When the car was called they ventured down to the garage that they were always picked up and dropped off from. There not far off he spied your motorcycle, you too were still here. That fact alone made his heart race, there was a chance to see you one more time for the day. Maybe, hopefully. Not long after the three settled outside the elevator to wait for the car did the familiar ding of the metal doors opening draw their attention to behind them. There you stood phone in hand as you stepped out to join them. When you glanced up you smiled at them. He couldn’t help but smile back. Changbin was starstruck by your existence alone. How could he not smile when his whimsy smiled at him?? Before he knew it the words fell from his lips just as fast as he thought of them.

“Dinner, you and me. Together, please,” well that was one way to ask. He heard snickers behind him before his fellow members decided to speak their mind.

“Well that’s one way to do it,”

“He got the words right. Delivery needed work,” he looked back to find Han leaning over Chan with his usual cheeky smile. He was sure to flip them off for their unnecessary commentary to his embarrassment. You however laughed, your soft airy laugh he loved to hear.

“Yes, let’s,”

“When??” He found his chance. He wouldn’t lose it now.

“Now, my place,” something cold and hard pressed to his abdomen. When he looked down he found a helmet had been pressed to his stomach. A helmet, its colors matched yours perfectly. Though the blue and pink tones were in reverse. When his hands clasped over it you dropped the full weight of it to be held by him. “Come on lover boy,” you turned on your heels and walked toward your bike. It was a view he could watch all day. Sure it made him feel not far off form a teenage boy as he RESPECTFULLY eyed your body as it walked away from him. How could he not when you wore your gear. The pants alone were criminal. A deep purple followed the inner and outer seam of your body drew further attention to your ass. The jacket that matched fit snug against your shoulders, and chest. He watched as you turned to look at him, your hands slowly pulled the zipper up up and up over your neck. It was Chan that pushed him into action, the older took his gym bag and nudged him to follow you. He did with careful steps he joined you beside the bike, helmet still lazily clasped in his hands. Your brown eyes glanced up at him, a smile on your lips before you reached into your bag for your own helmet. “Don’t be shy,”

“It’s hard not to be, when you look at me like that,” curse his mouth. Curse his brain for having let that slip out. Your laugh met his ears once more like a song he didn’t know he needed to hear. By now he knew his ears were tinted red. To hide he slipped his head into the helmet his cheeks squished some with all the heavy padding. It felt odd, tight, and strikingly comforting to have the helmet over his head.

“Wait you’re missing something,” you laughed as you reached around and grabbed something from your bag. He couldn’t see what it was, you had moved too quick for him to see what you had put whatever it was on his helmet. Your cheeky smile was reward enough for him though. “A photo, for the boys,” you said as you slipped your own helmet on and turned to take a selfie with him. In the view of the camera he could see you had put magnetic bunny ears on his helmet. Like yours one flopped down the other upright. In the opposite direction of yours. He smiled for the photo. Though his mouth couldn’t be seen he was sure his eyes gave away his glee. Afterward you handed him your backpack to wear while the two of you rode. He watched beneath the visor as you settled over the bike. Your soft thighs pooled some to accommodate the metal and plastic underneath you. When you settled he moved to sit behind you. His own thighs moved to mold into the seat of the bike. He tried to find purchase in anything other than you. Don't get him wrong, he wanted to touch you. Reach his arms around your torso splay his wide palms over your stomach. But he wouldn’t, not at least until you said so. “Changbin, you’ll fall off if you sit like that,” your arms reached back, your fingers threaded into his as you pulled his arms around your torso. There you settled them over your stomach..dreams really do come true. Changbin willed himself to NOT pop a boner while he sat with your back to him like this.

“Okay,” he nodded, helmet bonked against yours in the effort. It made you both laugh. Though yours was so much prettier than his. When his hands settled over you he felt you twist some as the bike roared to life. If Changbin had to describe the feeling of the engine beneath him he’d say it was similar, not far off from the feeling he got when he growled. The deep rumble from the pit of his stomach rolled through his chest and throat. Until he unleashed all the power he had in his voice out his lips. Your motorcycle was the same, except that slow rumble started from the balls of his feet, up his thighs. It settled there before it ricocheted up his spine and stayed in his shoulders only to go back down, then back up once more. It was unfamiliar, new, he gripped you tighter as your own feet lifted off the concrete and the bike moved forward. He leaned over you as you pressed forward, his body molded into yours with the effort to not fall off. The fading sunlight hit you both the moment that you had left the garage. The tired screeched some with the effort to get onto the main streets of the city. He’d seen this city before, it has been his home for many years now. But under the tinted visor it was different.

“It’s my favorite view,” your voice came clear through his ear. It startled him some but he relaxed when he realized he was connected to your helmet through a Bluetooth device.

“I can see why,” he sighed as he leaned back some, as he dared to look around the city he knew so well. He loved it, every second of it. As the two of you zipped through the busy streets he laughed. The sun cast shadows over you both as you took them over the Han bridge. The gold light cast over the water made it shimmer. It was so bright Changbin knew if his visor wasn’t down he'd be blinded. But with it down he could see the full beauty of the water that was below you both. With one last look he settled back with his head over your shoulder to watch the streets in front of you. The music you were playing was funny, American. He couldn’t catch the lyrics but he’d have to ask you for it later to translate the meaning behind it.

The ride wasn’t long enough in his opinion, your apartment was tucked neatly away just outside the heart of the city. When you parked he waited for your signal to get down. When you tapped his arms he let go of the grip he had on you and slipped off the bike. Not long after you slipped off it your legs were far steadier than his as you stood on the concrete floor. “You’ll have to teach me how to drive,”

“Gladly. Though Felix asked first,” you waved him to follow you, and he did. Like a lost puppy he followed you into the building helmet in his hands as he walked behind you. The concierge waved to you before he looked at Changbin. “Good evening. I’ll have some more guests later I’ll page them up,”

“I can make badges for them if you would like to miss,” there was a thought behind your eyes before you nodded.

“Will you make two please??” When the man at the desk nodded you began the walk toward the elevator once more. The small fob on your keys opened the doors. It allowed you further access to the building. Changbin looked around, the place was high class. The security was immaculate, almost better than his own place. He didn’t even want to know the cost of living in a place like this. With your salary he was sure you could afford it. Still it was a mystery to him. Eight floors up and he followed you off the elevator straight into your front door. Then into your home. “Make yourself at home,” you said as you slipped into your house slippers shoes neatly left at the door. “I’m just going to change really quick,”

“O-okay,” he stepped into the spare slippers as he wandered into the small space you called home. The design of it all gave him more of who you were. What you liked. The neon signs and soft plush couch drew his attention. “So you’re having more company later??” He called out as he looked over the art hung on your walls. Some small photos clipped into magnetic frames tacked neatly on the wall. Your life in another country. A life he didn’t know.

“Yes, the rest of the boys are coming later for a movie. Hyunjin insisted on it as a housewarming sort of thing,” he laughed. It made sense. Ever since Felix and Hyunjin had taken you out shopping he’d heard nothing but all the things Hyunjin did to make you happy. “So that also means you’re invited for movie night,”

“Well I guess it won’t be a hassle since I’m already here,” you laughed, his heart thundered in his chest. When he looked back he saw you tiptoe down the steps of your loft space he felt his cheeks burn at the sight of you. Sure it wasn’t much, you weren’t dressed up like you were at the after party. But any sighting of you in clothes that aren’t your work attire was a blessing to him.

“How does Spaghetti sound??”

“Italian is the way to my heart,” truth be told, any food was. But he was a sucker for Italian.

“Wonderful. My MeeMaw made a mean spaghetti recipe,” while you took up residence in the kitchen he sat at the small island bar to watch you work. “If you sit there I’ll give you something to do,”

“Please, I hate just sitting here,” the two of you laughed softly and soon he was given a task to do. Onions to cut, among other small veggies while you prepared the meat and noodles. “Was your grandmother Italian??”

“No, far from it actually, but she had an affinity for Italian food,” your smile warmed his heart. He’d never heard you speak of your family but it was good to hear someone within your life loved you. Enough to gift you a smile when you spoke of them. The conversations between the two of you became endless. One subject filtered into another with ease, there was no awkward pause or silence to fill. He loved every second. And soon enough you joined him, with two plates in hand you gave him one as you sat beside him at the counter. “Hyunjin said a dining room table wasn’t practical for my small space so he didn’t end up getting me one,”

“Yes he told me all about your shopping adventure when he and Felix got to practice last night,” he dipped his fork into his meal and began to twirl it until he had a decent bite of the spaghetti on it. The flavor was unlike anything he’s had before. It was spaghetti, yes, but there was something different. The sauce was rich, thick, but not so much it made a weight in your stomach. Whatever your MeeMaw had in her recipe was divine. A hearty groan escaped his throat as he savored the flavors in his mouth. When he turned to look at you, your eyes were already on him. He lit up knowing you had waited to see how he felt about this meal. “Y/N. Make me this again,”

“If you react like that everytime I do then yes. I will gladly,”

“The boys are going to be so jealous,”

“Let them. They didn’t ask me to dinner. You did,” oh..was there another one of his members you wished to go out with. Had he read the flirtatious banter between you two wrong?? “Get out of your head Seo Changbin. Dinner with you is exactly what I wanted,” he lit up with your reassurances and continued to eat beside you. As you talked he learned you were close with your maternal grandparents, but the rest of your family remained a mystery. You refused to speak of them. He didn’t pry, you’d come to him when you’re ready. He was sad to find the only relatives you adored had passed.

“Is it hard to be here in Korea when you can’t visit their graves??”

“No, I have them with me always,” you shifted to move your pant leg up. It felt scandalous to Changbin to watch you pull the stretchy fabric up up and up to your thigh. But there he saw it. A beautiful floral and star design littered your skin. It was wrapped higher than your pants allowed. The delicate ink took over the entire expanse of your left leg. He’d seen the edges of it on your ankle but to see it in its near full glory was marvelous. “My artist put their ashes in the ink. So they are with me forever,”

“Wow, it's beautiful. Suits you well,” he watched your skin disappear beneath your pants once more as you turned to finish your meal.

“They were everything to me. It feels good to know even with them gone I still have a part of them with me,” he smiled as he listened. There was so much more he wanted to know about you. So much he wished you’d tell him. He wished this dinner would last eternity. But..it couldn’t. With both your plates clear Changbin insisted he do the dishes. After all the effort you took in cooking he made sure you had the chance to relax some before 7 other people invaded your space. After he finished he found you at the wall with the framed photos. The ones that felt a touch out of place. Yet they belonged so well. More parts of you he didn’t know.

“The tall beefy one is Axel,” he listened, you had willingly offered some more of your life. He didn’t want to stop you. “He is my best friend. He urged me to take this opportunity. The night I met you Changbin. If he hadn’t dragged me out to work. I would have missed the opportunity to work abroad. Axel is a huge reason why I’m here, why I’m with you in this moment,”

“I will have to thank him for bringing my Whimsy to me,”

“What??”

“I-I I am so sorry that wasn’t meant to be said..it’s what I call you in my head. W-Whimsy. The woman with the most Wh-Whimsical smile,” his cheeks felt as though they were on fire he couldn’t even believe himself for saying it aloud. Now he stuttered with embarrassment as he tried to explain himself. “You hate it..I’ll stop,” your hand came to rest on his chest in a gentle motion that told him to shut up. When his eyes met yours he melted your cheeks dusted in his favorite pink. A pink that brought out your freckles.

“No, I like it. Please call me that,” he nodded slowly, he didn’t want to stop looking at you. Never. Soon his hand moved, he wanted to join yours. He was sure you could feel his heart as it ricocheted in his chest. But before his hand came to rest over yours the door buzzer went off. He groaned..of course..the guys were here. And this moment between you two had to end. You laughed when his groan became outward. But you did slip away. You allowed the boys entry. You told them to stop at the front counter to pick up the two fobs you had made then returned to his side. Changbin hadn’t moved from his spot. Eyes still glued to the photos on the wall. To you, and the others caught within them.

“The boys have good timing,”

“Something like that,” he huffed lightly before he wandered over to the couch and sank into the plush cushions with a soft groan.

“It just means you and I will have to do this again,”

“You want that??”

“Of course I want that Changbin,” he smiled at the thought of being able to have time like this with you again. He wanted it too, so very much. Soon the front door burst open Felix and Hyunjin first in the door, their arms wrapped tight around you.

“Not fair!! Changbin I wanted to taste Starlight's cooking first!!”

“Yah!! Changbin you’re so unfair!!”

“Guess it just means she likes me more than the two of you,” he sat back into the couch to watch the chaos he had unfolded. Chan and you both gave him pointed looks of disdain as the wailing from the younger two became louder. Eventually they all settled down for the movie.

**** **** **** ****

Your night went perfectly. The dinner you had with Changbin was pleasant. You had learned so much about him. His life here in Korea. It was nice to just have calm chatter with someone. It helped that said someone was so incredibly handsome. Sure he was more than that. But his looks helped factor in your admiration for him. When the movie started you managed to squeeze yourself between Changbin and Felix. Hyunjin and Han fought for a spot between your legs on the floor. In the end it was Han who won though from the other side of the couch you could see Lee Know was keeping a close eye on you. Sure, you had won him over a little at the airport but it was easy to see he still didn’t trust you entirely. Chan had later explained to you how protective Lee Know was over Han and why. You understood it and did your best to show the older male you weren’t a threat to Han or the rest of the boys. The movie went smoothly.

Eventually Han vacated the space at your feet to snuggle up against Lee Know. Hyunjin and Felix were squished together beside them, also fast asleep. It left you, Chan, Changbin and Lee Know to watch over the others. By the time the movie ended you had to help usher out the four sleepy boys. They reminded you of toddlers as they waddled through your home fists rubbing the sleep from their eyes. You bid them goodnight from the door. There was a soft rattle once it closed. The walls of your apartment echoed the sound. From within you heard further proof of things having shifted in your home. When you turned on the light you noticed one of your forgotten boxes had toppled over. Most of its contents had stayed inside the box, yet a few feet away you noticed the broken photo frame. It was a miracle the glass hadn’t shattered further.

You hated that photo, but part of you still struggled to get rid of it. You had yet to find peace with all that happened. Slowly you reached down to pick it up. As the frame came to rest in your fingers you heard your phone go off. You wondered if maybe one of the boys had forgotten something. Yet when you lifted your abandoned device from the couch it was Axel’s contact you faced. You were quick to answer.

“Hey dude you’re calling at a strange time,” there was a small pause before Ivory’s voice filtered in from the other side.

“Y/N, Axel is in the hospital,”

“He..What happened??”

“Logan, he showed up at his place. He demanded to know where you were,”

“Axel is bigger than him how..” your voice tapered off as it began to shake. Fear riddled you immobile. No matter where you went your past would still come to haunt you. He would still come to haunt you.

“He broke Axel’s leg at the knee with a bat before Axel could stop him,” your eyes watered with the thought of your best friend injured with just the idea to protect you. Nothing made sense, the world faded away from you. Slowly you sank to the floor, phone dropped to the hardwood before you even had the chance to stop it. Not like you could, his voice filtered into your head.

“I will find you Dovey,”

“You can never escape me,”

“Just watch my love, you belong to me,”

“Dovey, dovey, dovey,”

You felt nothing, the photo in your hands slipped into your blurry view. The “happy” faces that lay in the cracked frame evident of the truth behind the people in it. Your scream desperate as you threw the frame away from you. Its near perfectness finally shattered all over the floor. Its glass scattered everywhere. Your hands shook as you reached down to pick it up. To pick up the broken bits of your heart as it lay bare on your floor. You didn’t care if the glass cut you. His voice called to you more and more as you sobbed. “I’ll be good..please..please leave them alone,” a line you’ve said a thousand times with his fist inches from your face. You’d take it all to protect them.

“Dovey, here I come,”

TAG LIST:

@taeminsung @maximumkillshot @feybin @alex--awesome--22 @liknws @palindrome969 @newbbystay @highlydestiny

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fivewholeminutes · 4 months

Text

so. wembley.

Once I have finally gathered my wits the words did not want to stop coming. This rambling is long; apologies for that. And for the messed up tenses I hate tenses we only have one past tense why is English like this

No photos/videos yet, they are still not properly checked/deleted/edited by me.

It was. Unsurprisingly. One of the best days of my life. But also, I don't remember much from my life, so don't trust me on this one. (Kidding, it totally WAS one of the best days of my life). And uhh... I have a problem with processing events and emotions, so it still feels like I have seen it on a TV screen instead of, you know, actually, physically having been there? Idk how to explain that, I still have to convince my brain that I've been there. I feel detached from it completely. But!! I!! Have!! Been!! There!!

I woke up so early that foxes were still roaming the streets. Didn't talk much with people around me in the queue (hello anxiety), but they were lovely! I signed the blue flag for iii from me & Lia, got the sticker for Projekt Atlantic, received some bracelets, exchanged some bracelets, put some sea creatures tattoos on people (LIA I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU THE WHALE!!!), slept on a pavement, bought merch for myself and others (I've never had anyone to buy concert merch for before, it's such a nice feeling 🥺).

And queueing for so long was so fucking worth it! Third row, baby!! For the first time in the middle!! (Which was my downfall later, but the pre-show me was not aware of that just yet). I couldn't actually hear HEALTH that well, but I really liked their drummer, he was enjoying himself and his joy was contagious. (I've checked them later though and. Last album, my beloved.) During the break, well, you all know what was happening, I have been liveblogging everything (sorry about that <3). The moment someone in the crowd literally screeched when they saw the new masks on instagram was a blessing, I wouldn't have survived seeing them in new masks without a warning. Also, my blind ass would probably realise 3 songs in that they have different masks, I shit you not. Besides, it was super fun having a mental breakdown here on tumblr with y'all <3

When Espera entered the stage, everything else stopped being of any importance to me. I remember my first thought was "oh yeah, sure, the ladies are dressed up and moving like this and you expect me to focus on anything else that is happening on this stage?". And of course, my second thought was "I GOTTA TAKE PICTURES FOR DARYA". Naturally, I was trying to keep up with everything else anyway. I haven't seen ii all too well though and it makes me sad :( Alas. I've had a good vantage point for the ladies. Yeah. Brain went brrrrr every time I was looking at them. Where was I again-

I was still coughing at that time. I got a terrible coughing fit after literally 3 short screams during HEALTH and my idiot ass has left all the lozenges except one in the hotel room an hour before the door opening. I thought I would have to spend the rest of the night not singing along nor screaming and felt utterly heartbroken for a few minutes, but after my Holy Grail Lozenge (and a LOT of water from the venue's crew) my cough has abandoned me for the duration of the whole ritual (thank you, Sleep). Even though, when Sam told us that we have to sing, my only thought was "I CAN'T FUCKING SING EITHER, MATE". But I did. Oh, I so fucking did. I sung my lungs out and did not cough even ONCE.

But you know. I was exhausted, anxious, surrounded by strangers and had more sugar in my veins than red cells at that point, so I wasn't my best self. I really thought the karaoke was for shits and giggles at first. "Oh yeah, it's The Most Popular Song, let's see how it sounds when 10k people sing it without the singer's help!", you know. Thought it was for the recording the announcements warned us about. But then we sung Granite. Ohhhkay. And then The Love You Want - certainly not a song they would leave for an impropmtu singalong. It was then that I (belatedly) realised that yeah, something really was wrong and so my heart broke again. So many preparations! Their biggest gig so far! Even iii managed to be there! And something had to happen!! Specifically!! To Vessel!! Of all people!! That was just not fair. He totally didn't deserve this. But it's just life and its endless fucking bad surprises for everyone, huh.

I didn't have enough time to collect all the broken pieces of my heart from the sticky floor and mend them after this realisation, because after Vessel joined the singing for the last few lines of TLYW, he dropped to his knees in front of us crying and thanking everyone. That sight is now carved into my brain. This is when I realised the 3rd row was a mistake. The psychic damage it gave me is irrevocable. Do you have those moments that you will never forget? A few seconds of an (usually traumatic) experience that will haunt you forever, replaying in your mind like a broken record? It was a bit like this for me. It wasn't traumatic, mind you, but it was definitely something that made a permanent dent in my heart and a home in my brain. And I wouldn't change it anyway.

Another thing that made me think that I will just fall down and never get up was iii & iv's hug. It was. So full of love and reassurence. Idk, you could just feel that emitting from them, okay? I was standing there thinking "yeah sure, just fucking murder me tonight instead, okay. Should've kept staring at Espera only-". Ah yes. The ladies. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Where was I again-

The goosebumps when the whole venue yelled "they won't be missing you" during Nazareth, oh my fucking god. On my previous rituals, in way smaller venues, there's always been a handful of people screaming it. And everyone doing it? Unparalleled feeling. Bordering on the shrimp emotions scale.

The lights were spectacular. I cannot describe how amazing the light show was. I am sending a kiss to each and every light crew member.

Also, Vessel being more emotional during the ritual as a whole. The TLYW moment was the worst for me, but there were many others. (Ascensionism and Bloodsport stabbing me with a rusty knife the most.) I mean, who could've blamed him for the emotions, he would probably be very emotional even without the voice issues. Who wouldn't be!! It was a big night, after all. God, it must have been so difficult for him, I really, really fucking hope the love coming from his bandmates, crew and the crowd was enough to help him focus on the good parts of the evening only. And!! It wasn't even that bad!!! Sure, he lost his voice for a while, but once it was back you could!! Barely!! Hear!! The difference!! I have a whole new level of respect for Vessel because of that. And for staying onstage with us for the songs he couldn't sing. Didn't know I could respect him even more than I already did, but hey. Love being surprised like that. I have seen concerts where the singers were singing way worse live while being completely healthy. Like sure, you could notice he's not using so many uhh, how do you call this in English, vocal ornamentations??? and that his voice is strained, but it was still beautiful. Take care of your voice now though, dude, jfc. Thanks for the sacrifice, much appreciated, but TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU- (kidding, kidding. or am i.) I also liked that he was leaving the more screamy moments in songs for us. Aiming the microphone at us, positive we'll have his back. Like yeah, yeah, other bands do that relatively often, but it's not something they usually do, you know.

I can't vouch for everyone in the crowd, but I sure as fuck did not have a SINGLE thought that the show sucks because of his voice issues. Like it didn't even occur to me. Honest to god. I was shocked when I saw on tumblr that people were leaving? Asking for a refund????????????? I was having the time of my life singing those songs. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, probably!! Who can say they karaoked whole 3 songs with the band playing for them live?? Your local karaoke bar could never. (Bonus points, you could hear Espera better bc of that! Yes, I know, you are not supposed to hear backing vocals too loud in general, I'm just saying it was nice hearing them, bc usually I hear them on recordings only.)

Yeah, sure I was disappointed after the show that there was no Euclid, but that's just me, a total whore for Euclid. It's a completely different thing than being a bitch who leaves halfway, because something out of the ordinary has been happening.

Anyways. I would like to wish all the crowdsurfers a very fuck you. Hope you will all step on a lego every day for the rest of your lives <3

Crowdsurfers and constant giving away of water (which I understand, it was terribly hot there and it was needed) were a bit distracting, I missed some things because of the commotion, the drum solo has been disrupted by me getting a (fortunately very light) kick in the mouth and DRUM SOLO IS SACRED. I HOPE THE CROWDSURFER WHO DECIDED TO GO UP IN THAT MOMENT WILL STEP ON 3 LEGOS DAILY. IT'S LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE RITUAL FOR ME AND THEY HAVE RUINED IT. Thanks to another crowdsurfer, I missed the moment the band was throwing stuff into the crowd and I promised Lia I will catch a pick/drumstick for them!!!!!!! I've had a banner for this occassion and all!!!!! And!!!!! For the whole time things were flying from the scene!!!! I have been under someone's legs and ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Side note: Vessel was throwing away his rings. That's so fucking cool, ahh.

All in all, half of the things that happened there, I've learned from tumblr. The announcements about the recording, people leaving, Vessel being covered in runes (I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEFORE HIM AND DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. A N Y T H I N G. I HATE BEING A BLIND IDIOT), the Espera ladies laughing at iii for not coming to the photo, hell, even Vessel trying to get his attention. I have NO idea what I've been doing back then, it's a blur again lmao. And. The most important thing: Vessel's "thank you". I didn't catch it back then. I don't hear it on my recording. Tbh I couldn't believe y'all for a long while that it really happened (I'm sorry). But it did and you know what? I'm glad the broken pieces of my heart were left on the arena's floor earlier during the show. I don't want them anymore.

I would also like to thank that one security guy in huge headphones who was our warning that another fucking crowdsurfer was coming our way. I hope the headphones guy's pillow is always cold on both sides, his skin clear, his crops- and so on. Our hero <3

There was also a moment during Atlantic (another important moment disrupted. Smh) where 2 security persons dived into the crowd?? I still have no idea what was happening, bc if someone faints for example, they are always brught to the barricade by the crowd and security picks them up, I've never seen security getting into the crowd before. And because of that, people around me were talking loudly during Atlantic. Kill kill murder kill

Still, Projekt Atlantic was a huge success and I am so proud of the organisers!! They're in the same category of lovely people as the big headphones security guy

Sending a kiss to @murderofcrow for this gif 🖤

To sum up. I will forever be grateful for this band. This music has activated the dormant parts of my mind. I am making art again. I am meeting cool people because of them. I have people to talk about it with who are as excited about it as I am. For the first time in ages I really feel alive again. And life is not good, far from it, to be completely honest with you, they haven't magically fixed all my problems, but I do have something that actually fucking works on me. I know Vessel wouldn't agree, but they are saving people. And you all, lovely ST pocket of tumblr motherfuckers who are reading this, you are saving people too.

And, last but not least!! In hot pink, because I can! Thanks to this ritual I could finally meet @vesselsscarlet and @thevenomousseprent in person!!!!!!!!! I love you guys, you are amazing and I can't wait to see you again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 You've made me feel so loved that weekend and it's something I haven't felt in a while!!

#it was surprisingly hard to write #took a lot of editing and rewriting whole paragraphs and it's still not a proper description of everything i wanted to say #i don't know how to talk about emotions #and i have. a lot of them since wembley #a word of advice: attend concerts. beg for money for them from your family members sleep in tents during rain #or in hostel rooms filled with random people #go for gigs without a place to sleep and spend 4hrs waiting for your bus home in a local mcdonalds #watching drunk guys split their eyebrows on the stairs there #(not now tho now we're boycotting macdonalds #but there are other places open 24/7)#go to gigs alone #but by god. go to them if you are able to and if your health allows you to go #(and yes it is coming from someone with anxiety. i wouldn't travel or sleep in a tent alone for anything else trust me)#it is always worth it. ALWAYS #sleep token

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gay-dorito-dust · 1 year

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due to some Enid and Wednesday art I was spurred into watching it and if you're accepting requests (I got really excited seeing you write for it and didn't scroll down too far) could you write something where Enid meets an introverted new girl and they're just smitten with her immediately?

if someone like her came up to me and wanted to be friends I'd just. follow her sunshine to the end of the rainbow man. gay arrow to the heart. also fluffy werewolf gf is such bonus

The moment you stepped foot on school grounds, you were physically sickened with anxiety and dread, your throat closed in on itself as your stomach decided to loose all forms of appetite. You didn’t want to be here but through threats and force, your parents made you attend Nevermore in hopes of gaining a tolerable level of control over your powers that had only became a problem in recent memory. That was what they wanted you to believe but you knew about their ulterior motive of riding you from the house you cooped yourself in and actively engage with others of your age and situation.

You awkwardly stood at the entrance hall like a sitting duck, waiting to be shot, looking about the grand room that smelt as old as it looked as you waited for your poor unfortunate tour guide to arrive. Throughout the duration of your wait, You must’ve been either bored beyond belief or lost within the chaos of your mind because by the time you stopped counting the individual specs of dust that coated the picture frames along the the walls; A pretty blonde girl with the tips dyed in a kaleidoscope of colours and prettily painted nails was stood before you with a beaming smile.

How and when she had gotten there, you weren’t sure but you weren’t exactly against the idea of a really pretty blonde girl with an equally as pretty smile showing you around school. It certainly beats be lead by a pervert or someone with a penchant for passive aggressive comments in your books, so who were you to complain? “Hi!” She chirped and you immediately felt the cold crushing grip of anxiety ease up at the sound of her warm, serene voice as the tension in your shoulder muscles fell back into a relaxed state. “Hi…” you trailed off, not use to being a conversation starter nor continue one long enough for people to develop in getting to know you more.

You preferred to follow then lead…also you had a definitive weakness for extremely pretty girls. “I’m Enid Sinclair and if what principle Weems tells me is right, then you must be y/n.” It was obvious that Enid has a talent for having to talk for a multitude of people who don’t want to exhaust themselves in idle conversation or have no capacity to speak whatsoever. Which was a bonus for you, seeing as social interactions were never your strong suit, however Enid didn’t seem to be the most observant of a person’s character; You on the other hand had a knack for keen observation which meant that your style of approach subconsciously adjust itself when within proximity of certain people of certain caricatures.

“I am y/n, that is she- I mean me.” Your little awkward slip up made Enid smile and you swore you felt reality as you know it take a step back to observe her beautiful, beautiful smile. ‘God how much more enteral could this girl get.’ You wondered internally as she fell in pace with you whilst giving her tour of the school that you were barely paying any attention towards because firstly, how could you when someone as pretty as her was walking so closely to you and smelling that good? It made no logical sense! You believed at one point that your mind was playing cruel tricks on you becuase whenever you attempted to give yourself a little space from Enid; Only for the girl to move just a little closer to you that the fabric of your purple striped blazers were rubbing up on one another.

You even had to check you pulse at one point to make sure you hadn’t accidentally died and gone to heaven. “Oh I forgot to show you the coolest part of Nevermore!” Your breath caught in your throat as Enid grabs ahold of your arm and redirects you down the hallway past several ongoing classes; past the quad where some students were huddled together, actively skipping their least favoured lessons to let themselves loose. “Hey Enid! Hey new kid!” One of them called, a boy of quite moderate height, a nice smile and a beanie that rests atop of his head. “Hey Ajax!” Enid called back cheerfully, her grip on your arm tightened as she pulled you closer to her side which only proved in making your brain short circuit at the contact. “This is y/n, I’m just showing them them around school!”

“Hey there.” You awkwardly waved at the boy who waved backed vigorously. You had to admit, while Ajax may lack social awareness skills, he was certainly making his way up on your short list of people to go to should you ever feel lost amidst the chaos that you were soon recognising this school to be. “Well have fun you two and don’t run headfirst to the lake fully clothed. Take it from me, it’s super cold dude.” Ajax advised but before you could ask where that penitent fact came from, Enid began to drag you away once more. “He’s high.” She whispered in your ear, her warm breath brushing against your skin, causing your breath to stifle at the closeness, “they all are, actually.” She adds as she looked back at the quad as it began shying away into the background.

“Ajax seems nice.” You offhandedly mentioned. I know right!” Enid squeals excitedly, “sooo nice in comparison to my dorm mate, she’s a real ‘wow is me’ type.” The blonde must’ve seen your apprehensive stance and grimaced, “as bad as I make her out to be, she’s really cool and I think you’d both will get along just fine.” Enid attempts to rectify your view on Wednesday, already having caught on the fact that you weren’t going to be keen towards certain people at Nevermore. She could tell that you’d warm up to the likes of her and Ajax overtime which meant that you’d get along well enough with Xavier, however his popularity might be a drawback for you; Wednesday on the other hand, in Enid’s opinion, was the perfect for someone like you.

“Why? Is it because we both come across as unapproachable or too uninteresting to get to know on a deeper level?” You scoffed, “Yeah sure, we’ll get along just fine.” You added sarcastically as you looked away from Enid to hide the hurt in your eyes at the insinuation that the prettiest and most kindest girl you’ve ever met was throwing you away, to becoming someone else’s problem. You should’ve known that you could never trust a pretty face, no matter how kindly they acted; for it will always be a farce. Enid pulled herself away from your side and moved in front of you, putting her hands on your shoulders as her hurt expression mimicked your own.

“I didn’t mean it like that y/n. It’s just that you and Wednesday share similar qualities that I thought you’d be better off being better friends with someone who understands you rather then someone like me…” the blonde trails off, saddened that you couldn’t help but feel the urge to comfort her, you hated being the reason she frowned and you’d found yourself wanting to make her smile that bright smile again, anything. “If it’s of any value to you but as far as I’m aware, we already get along quite well…don’t you think?” You smiled softly at her, resting your hands against Enid’s shoulders, rubbing them comfortingly as you watched the emotions in her eyes shift from upset, confusion, then realisation, and finally happy.

“You really think we could work?” She asked as a smile crept up unexpectedly upon her lips that you had to snap yourself out of staring at them for longer then a friend should. “Oh most definitely,” You hummed in agreement and at that, Enid squealed happily before roping you into a crushing hug, her cutesy giggles purposely finding their home right in your ears as you stiffly moved your arms across her waist. “I’m so happy right now y/n, you have no idea!” She cried, tightening her grasp on your blazer as you rest your heads against the others shoulder. “If it’s anything akin to how I’m feeling right now, then I think I might have some idea.” You replied, a smile growing on your face as you stayed in each other’s embrace; You might actually get use to Nevermore.

#enid sinclair fic #enid sinclair fanfic #enid sinclair x you #enid sinclair imagine #enid sinclair x reader #Enid sinclair imagines

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allmoshnobrain · 11 months

Text

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 01 of ? | masterpost

word count: 2697 | ao3 link

Eleanore (better known as Nore) was only 18 years old when she moved out of her house. She chose to live with her cousin, Cliff, in the same house where his band was staying - and got involved with all of them much more than she had ever expected to get involved with someone...

✦ warnings and tags: oc is cliff's cousin, +18, slice of life, drinking, smoking, fluff, cliff being cliff (overprotective older cousin), oc meets the metallica boys

✦ a/n: hello! i started posting this fanfiction on ao3 a while ago, but now i decided to post it directly here on tumblr too. the story is a bit long but there will be a lot of fluff, angst and smut along the way and also a lot of james and dave ♡ I will be posting one or two chapters daily until I catch up with the chapters posted on AO3, then I will start posting at the same frequency as I do there - every Wednesday and Sunday! Anyway, hope you enjoy ♡

I couldn't exactly say that I had plans for the beginning of 1983, but certainly moving out of my parents' house wasn't among them. Not that I had much of a choice, as I had been practically kicked out after the chaos that was my 18th birthday a few months earlier.

I was lucky to have my cousin Cliff's help. He had joined a new band a few months ago and had moved out of his parents' house to live with the guys in a house in downtown San Francisco. His offer to let me stay with them for a few months came at the right time, and I didn't hesitate to accept.

Maybe that hadn't been the best idea, as everything that could go wrong so far was happening — including me being late, missing the bus that would take me from Long Beach on a six-hour trip to San Francisco, having to buy another ticket for another bus that would leave only two hours later, and realizing only after boarding that I had forgotten my bag with half of my clothes and all — yes, absolutely all — of my underwear at my parents' house. Now, in addition to spending money on buying new clothes, I would have to wait for my parents to send me the bag by mail.

Great, I thought bitterly as I looked out the window of the moving bus.

I tried to distract myself by opening my sketchbook and doodling something, but I was too anxious to do anything. Cliff and I had practically grown up together, but since he moved to San Francisco with his family four years ago, our interactions had considerably decreased. Now, he had several new friends whom I didn't know, a girlfriend I had never even heard of, and he was even playing in a band. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to fit into his new life, and this kinda bothered me.

Despite the anxiety, I was exhausted, and I ended up dozing off for a while. It felt like I had only blinked when I woke up to the passenger next to me letting me know that we had arrived. I thanked the man and grabbed my luggage; when the bus stopped, I was one of the first people to get off.

San Francisco had the smell and sound of the sea; the sun was shining high in the cloudless blue sky. Despite the sun, it was still winter, and a cold wind cut through the platform. I looked around anxiously. Cliff had said he would be there, but I couldn't see him anywhere. That's when I felt someone touch my shoulder. When I turned, there he was, the old crumpled Misfits t-shirt, a cigarette in his hand, his long silky hair, and that beautiful smile on his face that I knew so well.

"Cliff!" I yelled and threw myself into his arms for a hug, laughing like I used to when I was little. He laughed and hugged me back.

"Hey, Nore. How was the trip?"

"It was horrible!" I complained, and he raised an eyebrow, a slight smile on his lips. "I forgot my bag, I was late and missed the bus. It was pure chaos; I didn't even think you would wait for me."

"Yeah, I noticed you were late. I've been waiting here for hours," he said with a tired sigh. I bit my lip, a guilty expression on my face, and he laughed. "It's okay. At least you made it. Let's go?"

He gently took the bag from my hand, and we walked through the terminal to the parking lot, where I saw his car. As I hopped in, he tossed my suitcase in the trunk and took a seat beside me in the driver's seat. I turned on the music, and a Misfits song blasted, extremely loud, just the way I knew Cliff loved it. I frowned and toned it down a bit.

"Oh my God, Cliff," I complained. "Aren't you scared of going deaf?"

"Hey, it's better to enjoy life while we're young," he grinned at me with that laid-back attitude that I knew all too well. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but smile back. "And our hearing too, y'know."

He turned on the car, and I quickly strapped myself in. I knew Cliff's wild driving style; if seatbelts truly saved lives, I was putting my faith in that little piece of fabric. I gripped on tight as he zoomed through the city, weaving through traffic like a maniac. I lost count, but I swear he blew through at least three red lights on the way.

Fortunately, we safely arrived at the house where he was living. I got out of the car and stretched, feeling sore after hours of bus travel.

"Come on," he said. "I'll introduce you to the guys."

"Wait, what about my luggage?"

"I'll get it later. Is it okay if we share the room? It's the only place you can stay for now."

"No worries,"I said, as he took me by the hand and guided me into the house. He swung open the door, revealing a sparsely furnished living room with only a TV, a couple of couches, and a table surrounded by four chairs. A short guy was sitting on one of the sofas, speaking loudly while two others laughed at whatever he had just said. All three had beers in their hands, and a few empty bottles were scattered on the floor.

"Hey, guys," Cliff said. "This is Nore, my cousin. The one I told you would be staying here for a while."

They looked at us. The short dark-haired guy stood up with a smile.

"Hey," he greeted me. He had a different accent, definitely not American. "How's it going?"

"Nore, this is Lars. He's Danish, so you might find his smell a bit strange," Cliff said in a sarcastic tone, a smirk on his face.

"Shut up, dude." Lars grabbed a beer bottle and pointed at me. "Want one?"

"No, she doesn't," Cliff cut in. I looked at him, raising my eyebrows. "Hey, no more drinking problems for you, okay?"

"Oh, Cliff, shut up. You worry too much," I grumbled, which made the guys laugh.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help you. Remember that your parents told me not to let you drink."

"Well, then you won't smoke your joints in front of me either," I said, reaching out to snatch the cigarette from his hand, but he held it up high. He knew I couldn't reach it, I was way shorter than him. He chuckled.

"These are Dave and James," he said, still holding his hand up. I lightly hit his back, pissed off, but he ignored me.

"Hi," the blond guy spoke in a low voice, seeming annoyed. He didn't even look directly into my eyes, quickly turning his attention back to the beer bottle in his hand. I felt my face heat up, wondering if he already hated me or something.

"Hi," I said softly. "Nice to meet you."

The other guy laughed. He had wavy strawberry blond hair and brown eyes. He was just a little shorter than Cliff – but still much taller than me.

"You upset the lady, James," he got up from the sofa and took my hand in his. "Don't mind him, he's just a bit shy. I'm Dave, you probably figured that out already."

"Hi, Dave," I smiled.

"So your name is Nore? That's kinda different."

"Oh, actually, it's Eleanore. But nobody really calls me that, I prefer Nore."

He grinned, pulling a pack of smokes from his pocket.

"It's a cool name," he lit a cigarette and gave me a wink. "If you feel like grabbing some drinks later..."

"Hey, lay off my cousin," Cliff frowned. "I've already told you she's not gonna drink, dammit."

"Cliff!" I complained. "Come on, you can't stop me from having a drink."

James snorted.

"You worry too much, man," he got up and handed me a beer bottle. "Here. You can have a drink if you want."

I took the bottle from his hand before Cliff could do anything and took a sip. He sighed and shrugged.

“Okay, it's your problem.”

"Hey, no need to be all parental on me," I said in a more understanding tone. "I can handle myself just fine, alright?"

“I won't bother lecturing you,” he grumbled. “But you better let your parents know that if I find you dead in a pool of vomit, it's all your fault, you hear me?”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. He smiled, making me realize that he was just joking.

"Don't worry, I won't tell your parents about this either," I pointed to the cigarette in his hand. He huffed.

"You know they already know about it, right?" I scowled and he laughed. "Come on, I'll show you where you'll be staying."

"She could crash in my room," Dave grinned. "Plenty of room there."

"And you better cut out the flirty business with my cousin." Cliff's voice turned serious as he pulled me closer, gripping my shoulders in a protective way.

Dave laughed and left the room, not without smiling at me. My cheeks flushed, but I smiled back.

"I'll grab my bag," I said to Cliff. Taking another swig from the bottle, I handed it over to James with a grateful smile. "Thanks."

He shrugged, but flashed me a small smile in return.

Cliff walked me to the car and opened the trunk so I could get my luggage. I followed him to his room, which was a cozy little space on the ground floor. It had a bed, a closet, a desk, and his bass guitar hanging on the wall. I dropped my suitcase in a corner by the desk and cracked it open to grab some money. I still had to go to a store, see if I could find some clothes. He pulled out a mattress from behind the wardrobe.

"This is your new bed," He said. "At least until I can bring that bunk bed my parents are lending me."

"You could be a knight in shining armor and let me sleep in yours." I grumbled, looking at the thinness of the mattress.

"No fucking way."

"I could end up with a serious back problem for sleeping on this, you know."

"Don't give me that. You won't convince me."

"I bet Dave would let me sleep in his bed."

"And take the opportunity to sleep with you."

"Oh, come on, Cliff," I laughed, feeling my face turning red. "He was joking."

"Yeah, right," he replied acidly. I shook my head in doubt. I found the money in my suitcase, picked it up, and stood up to leave. "Where are you going?"

"I need to buy some things. I'll be right back."

"I'll take you."

"No need, I saw there are plenty of shops nearby. I'll manage."

He shrugged, lighting a cigarette as he sat on the bed and opened a magazine. I left the house and found James outside, sitting by the porch, finishing his beer.

"Hi." I said.

"Hey. You heading out?" he asked in a low voice. At least now he didn't ignore me, I thought.

"Yeah. I still need to buy some things today."

"You know where to go?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I was thinking of just taking a walk around. Didn't want to bother Cliff any more than I already have," I admitted. He stared at me, seeming to think for a moment, then stood up.

"Hang on. I'll come with you."

"You sure?" I asked, surprised. He nodded.

"Yeah, I need... to stock up on more beer. Just wait here, I'll get my money."

I nodded and waited as he entered the house. He returned soon, wearing a worn leather jacket and holding some crumpled dollars in his hand, which he stuffed into his pocket.

"There's a supermarket down the street. Let's go?"

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

We walked the whole way in silence. I couldn't help but think about what Dave had said about James being a bit shy. Despite that, he had been nice enough to offer to come along with me. As we walked, I glanced at him. Taking a closer look, I noticed that his eyes were just like mine, blue in color. He had a serious look on his face, lost in his own thoughts. Usually, I would start a conversation in a situation like this, but I was feeling a bit shy myself.

We soon arrived at the supermarket. I was taken aback because the place was bigger than I had expected.

"Hey, do they sell clothes here?" I asked. It would be super convenient if I could find some clothes without having to go elsewhere after buying the beers.

"Yes, they do," he answered, then looked at me. "Are you here to buy clothes?"

"Oh," I blushed. "I... sort of forgot my bag at my parents' house, so..."

He chuckled. "You're just like Cliff. He's an airhead too."

"Hey!" I complained. "I was tired, okay?"

He smiled as we entered the store. I grabbed a shopping basket, and he pointed to an aisle.

"The clothes are over there. Need some company?"

"Nah, I got this. Meet you back here?"

"Sure."

I walked to the clothing section, which was somewhat limited. Most of the stuff looked kinda ugly, but luckily, I managed to find some decent underwear and bras. I snagged a few items in my size and tossed them in the basket.

I was heading back to the entrance to meet James when I spotted him near the beverage shelves, looking frustrated. I walked up to him.

"Hi," he grumbled. "I'm trying to decide which one to take... Our favorite is sold out, and I'm clueless about these cheaper options."

I looked at the shelf, then picked up a bottle from a well-known brand that wasn't too expensive.

"I like this one. We can split the cost if you want."

He smiled a little, grabbing a case of the brand I had suggested.

"I'll roll with your choice," he tossed the case in the basket, and I made a face at the weight. "Oops, my bad," he effortlessly took the basket from my hand as if it weighed almost nothing.

"Thank you," I said, and he smiled.

"Did you get everything you needed?" he asked, and I nodded. "Alright, let's go then."

We went to the cashier and cashed out. James insisted on paying for all the beers. I realized that, beneath the initial shyness, he was actually a pretty cool guy. He stopped by the store entrance to open two bottles of beer and offered me one. We walked back home as the sun was setting, James sipping his beer and humming softly. I recognized the sound — the guitar riff from Paranoid, by Black Sabbath. The day was quickly coming to an end, and I could feel the exhaustion creeping in.

"It's really good," he suddenly said as we waited to cross a street, and I looked at him, puzzled. "The beer," he explained.

"Told you so," I grinned.

"Guess you wouldn't want me to tell Cliff about you drinking."

I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Cliff worries too much. But I think he'll soon give up on nagging me."

"I'm rooting for you," he said in a playful tone. I let out a soft chuckle.

Soon enough, we reached the house. I said goodbye to James and made my way to Cliff's room, which was now also mine, ready to grab my things and take a shower. Packing away my new clothes in my bag, I found myself humming the same tune as James. Despite the fatigue and the overload of new information, my anxiety had melted away. I didn't know what the next few days would bring, but it excited me. The guys seemed cool, and it was good to be closer to Cliff again. I didn't have a clue where this new life would lead me, but I was ready to embrace whatever came, whenever it came.

#hello hello hello it's heartbreaker day!!#so i decided to start posting my fic's chapters here on tumblr too #but you can still read it on ao3 if you want!#also chapter 8 is still coming out today on ao3 #ada writes fanfiction #heartbreaker fanfic #metallica #megadeth #james hetfield #dave mustaine #cliff burton #lars ulrich #metallica fanfiction #dave mustaine x oc #dave mustaine fanfiction #nore burton (oc)#james hetfield x oc

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greenplumbboblover · 4 months

Text

Happy almost new year!

Yesterday I posted that whole "Top 10 Tumblr posts" but while that was fun to see, I figured I'd go through things I felt was a great accomplishment of this year for me. And some new years resolutions ;)

Accomplishments of 2023:

I made a website!

I know it's tiny and that it's not really great (yet) for getting tons of views, but I do want to thank everyone (I actually typed out all the names but tumblr was being stupid and I couldn't post the post then :/) for either giving it a try or using it. Without you, it would've just been a floating idea with no purpose. :) Thank you so much for believing in it!

I created a new sims story!

Gone a bit back to my original Simblr roots and made a story! Chapter 1 had been in my screenshots folder for over 2 years now, but I was just self-conscious about sharing it. I'm glad I actually got to terms that the only way to know if people will like it, is by sharing it. :)

Came back to Tumblr fully again.

Over those 2 years I hadn't really been on Tumblr much. I'd post my mod posts and that was it. Truth be told, I didn't really have much motivation to do TS3 stuff anymore at that time. But I think in the end I forgot how fun it can be :) I know I suck at interacting with people, though my anxiety often gets the best of me, and I'm genuinely sorry about that! I'm hoping to change that next year with some help.

New Year's resolutions:

I know most people probably didn't get through the whole thing because I type a lot, but if you do, hey there :)

Making Simblr.cc feel more personalized

I feel like currently it feels very download-oriented, which I'd like to keep! But that vibe also seems to be around with the more picture - oriented things. So I just want to make part of that feel more Tumblr-ish where it's just your personalized space. :)

Starting to sell stickers (and such)!

I know, kind of clique thing that everyone seems to be doing now and then, but I have seriously been loving to draw a lot. Though, my creative outlet only seems motivated when I do something for someone/something. So I was hoping to not just sell stickers for SImblr.cc as a donation thing, but also to make some of my own. :)

Finishing LISISV

I never intended to make LISISV like those shows that have been around for 20 years and going on. :p I know most of you do, which I love! But I'm not sure if I will be able to, lol.

I was hoping to rewrite the entirety of "Elly" which I did YEARS ago as a wee 14 year old (till I think, like 16?) but that's all basically teenage cringe IMO :p The concept and the characters however I always adored. So who knows!

Figuring out what to do with Interests & Hobbies

I keep promising that I'll finish it "after this mod" and I honestly do open it up, work on it for a little bit but then I start working on a feature and it... just doesn't work with the mod? However, the more I do that, the more 'bland' the mod becomes. So I don't know what do with it anymore 😅 Anyone who knows please help!

Unless you are all okay with remnants of it, which I'm doing currently :)

Making this space mod I have been wanting to do for a while

Not many people know this about me but i'm a huge sci-fi nerd :p And I wondered how hard it would be to make this “colonizing the a planet” space mod in TS3. Though I know that most people probably wouldn't care about that, since TS3 is more about generational things and... not so much about those things. So, who knows.

I guess I just need to sit down with myself and get my shit together, honestly.

Attempting to actually talk to others.

I don't know how people do it... I honestly want to keep tap of everyone I follow but I get so exhausted, if not, my anxiety starts kicking in because "what if I say the wrong things?" It's not just a tumblr thing though, i've been like that since forever, and maybe should just reach out for help for it. I just don't know.

I just feel as of late that people put great effort into commenting on my things and I'm barely there for them. Yet, just know that I am there, that I do think of you, i'm just deleting my sentences over and over again and just giving up. I'm genuinely sorry about that.

Hopefully your year will be nice and may your wishes come true :

#text post #text #long post #new year resolution #greenie rambles

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postmodernbeliever · 5 days

Text

Thoroughfare- Fox Mulder x Female Reader

Chapter Five: Two Creams, Two Sugars, and a Little Blood

table of contents <3

if you’d prefer my ao3 | word count: 3,750

TW: mentions of murder details, some slight graphic description.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

You were running a little late, which meant you were scatterbrained to the nines. You managed to fall asleep at some point between when Fox left your room and when the rain stopped and you forgot to set your alarm, so now you tore through the motel room like a tornado. You were exhausted, all the residual stress and anxiety of yesterday catching up to you, and you weren’t even dressed by the time your partner came knocking at your door. Bright and early, too- seven in the morning- and he was chipper as a bird. You wondered if he ever slept because you could see the violet shadows that caused his green eyes to glow, but he was in far better shape than you were. You swung the door open and then shut it, realizing you had two rollers sitting matronly atop your head, and you were in a wrinkled dress shirt and pajama pants, squinting without any contacts in. You opened it again, revealing just a sliver of yourself to a bewildered face.

“Woah. Good morning, sunshine,” Fox sing-songed.

You peeked through the crack of the doorway, and he was smiling sweetly at you, holding two paper cups. He nudged the door open to hand you the coffee, which you took gratefully, feeling the crabbiness of caffeine deficiency creeping up already. You were almost jealous of how easy it must be for him to wake up and get ready. His hair was tucked tidily atop his forehead, but he was not dressed in uniform- all he wore was a pair of slacks and a blue button-down, no tie, with the sleeves rolled up. You knew he was smarter for it because the mugginess hit you smack in the face when you opened the door, but you got a whiff of the piney scent he wore and knew he probably rolled out of bed ten minutes ago just looking alright to begin with. How nice would it be to look like that in just a few minutes, needing only a comb and some cologne to make you presentable? If you didn’t know any better, you could’ve seen him wearing something like this on a date, all laid-back, careless, dripping with charm as always…

Visibly flustered, you croaked, “Morning. Thank you,”

“Yeah, no problem. They have a coffee maker in the office. It’s not great, but after last night, I don’t trust any of those shops in town claiming they’ve got the best coffee in Marysville,” Fox joked, “You, uh, you don’t look ready,”

“Sorry,” you winced, “I overslept.”

“It’s okay. They want us down at the M.E.’s office, but we have a little time. I’ll wait for you.”

“I’ll just be a minute!”

You made him stand outside as you shuffled into a pencil skirt, hoping it was wiser for the weather, and tugged a little cardigan over your creased blouse. You grabbed your makeup pouch and took it with you, hoping he wouldn’t pay much attention to your bare face. He may have seen you last night, but you’d already convinced yourself that it was dark enough to hide anything of notoriety. The agent chuckled when you opened the door again, seeing your arms full with a coat that it was far too hot out for, the coffee, a loose gun and badge, a glasses case, your hairbrush– you looked like you just looted a house of all its most unimportant belongings.

“Let me take that for you,” he stole the coffee back and walked you to the truck parked outside your rooms, opening the door for you. You hopped inside and threw your crap in the backseat, and he slid into the driver’s side, setting your drinks down in the cupholders. He started the truck and gave the engine a minute to warm up, reaching for the Kansas map that you left on the dashboard, but he wasn’t really looking for directions to meet the coroner. He peeked at you in his peripheral, watching as you swiped some kind of sheer powder across your face, smoothing your complexion over. He never noticed the little beauty mark on the bridge of your nose, but now he watched you paint over it, and he wished you wouldn’t. You’ve gotten ready like this before, he could tell; you had the motions down, knowing exactly how not to poke your eyes out with the mascara and not to overdo the blush in the car. When he felt like he’d sufficiently given the engine enough time, he placed the map down between you two on the bench and shifted it into reverse.

��You okay if I start driving?”

You turned to him, mid-lipstick swipe, and you nodded. “Sure. I don’t look like a mess, do I?” Fox admired how you pushed your glasses on, adding, “I forgot about my contacts. I feel like a librarian.”

“No. You look… smart.”

“Wow, thanks,” you giggled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll try not to take that as an insult.”

“Well, who wants to look stupid?”

Yours challenged the flush of his cheeks, and you rolled down the window, letting some of the hot air out of the car. He began to back out of the motel, taking a right onto the main road.

You’d never seen the Midwest in the morning. The sun wasn’t high yet, so everything had a soft, golden tone to it; the wheat fields swayed, lining the street into town, homes croaked on sprawling acres, and street signs were so faded you had to rely on the shapes to conclude the directions they gave. It was silent, only birds and wind. You liked this part of the middle of nowhere. Back in D.C., and even worse in New York, people are everywhere, clogging the streets until they burst, cutting you off and giving you the finger. You can’t get a seat at a restaurant. You have to get put on a list for bestsellers at the library. But out here, life is slow. There’s always room to breathe, and to look up and see actual stars, rather than cloudy, light-polluted skies. Something about that spoke to you. You found yourself thinking that maybe someday when your work was done with law enforcement, and you have some money put away, you could come back out here and buy a little bungalow and live out the rest of your days in a place where you don’t have to worry about running out of space and time. Fox seemed to enjoy the quaintness of it all, too, because he was quiet as a mouse beside you.

Fox drove straight through town, and you finally got a glimpse of what the local life looked like as you passed. There weren’t many men around, but given that it was mainly an agricultural economy down here, they were probably out working on the farms. But there were pretty women in sundresses crawling up and down the streets with coffee cups and big purses, hair done up like it was a Sunday; little kids were scuttling down the sidewalks towards the school near the police station. You spotted Sheriff Hale’s car parked outside the bakery, but no one inside.

“Wonder where all these people were yesterday,” you observed.

“At the crime scene,” your partner answered, shooting you an apologetic glance. “I think we showed up at an unusual time.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

You rolled the window up a bit, knowing you were allowing your hair to poof up like yesterday. You settled against the bench seat and took up the map, flipping to the larger scale with the main country road running through. With your finger, you followed it to the county medical examiner's office, which was a whopping sixty miles from Marysville. You knew this place was a blip on the radar, but you had no idea just how far away you were from civilization. Fox’s screw-ups getting you both here had skewed your sense of direction.

“Jeez, we’ve got a while to go. You see this?” You asked, pointing to the location.

Fox glanced over and gave a wry chuckle. “Yeah. Straight shot up. We should get there in a little over an hour if I ignore these speed limits,” he winked, pointing to a sign.

You watched it fly by, announcing the stretch of road was a 35 miles per hour zone, and you smiled. Flopping the map onto the dashboard, you reached for your cup of coffee and took a sip, relishing in the room-temperature taste. It tasted good for about a second, and then it turned sour on your tongue. No cream, no sugar. Your face scrunched up and you smacked your lips. Fox seemed to have his own lightbulb going off, and he kept one hand on the wheel while he reached across your lap to open up the glove compartment. You drew in a short breath as his arm brushed against your thigh, and when he uprighted himself, you huffed in frustration.

“You could’ve swerved us into the field, Fox. Why don’t you let me open the damn thing? I’m sitting right in front of it!”

“Jeez. We’re on the road, aren’t we, Piglet?” he mocked, gesturing for you to look inside. A mess of pink sugar packets and little cream containers littered the compartment, and he giggled, “I didn’t know how you liked your coffee.”

A shameful heat flooded your chest, and you shut your mouth.

“You’re welcome.”

You grabbed two creams and two sugars, and as you stirred them into the chilling coffee with your finger, Fox made a note of how you took it and kept driving. You piped down and watched the scenery go by, all yellow fields and blue sky, and wondered what they might have found regarding Liane’s death. What you were aware of from the case files was the girls were all beaten and penetrated postmortem, but in the last murders, the object of violation wasn’t ever identified. There was no clear definition of the instrument used in the mutilation of their bodies, either. Everything was suspiciously contactless, like whoever was murdering these teenagers never had to lay a hand on them to do it; you weren’t sure how that was possible, and you weren’t convinced it was. Someone had to be committing these crimes. It was just in a way you’d never seen.

You were engrossed in your thoughts when Fox began to slow the car to a stop in the center of the road. You saw his attention being drawn by a dilapidated building on the side of the route– a building that could barely fit twenty people was rotting all over, with an eaten-away roof and rusted windows. You would’ve assumed it to be an abandoned shack if it weren’t for the silver cross nailed to the front door.

“Is that a church?”

“I think so. It’s not on the map.” Fox replied, turning off the engine and unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Hey, wait, we have to get to the–”

“I’ll only be a minute. It’s not like anyone’s driving out here anyway.”

You watched the man slip out of the car and trot around the front, heading off the road. You sat for a second, watching him disappear into the overgrown weeds, and a pressure began to inflate in your chest.

“Damn it.”

You unbuckled yourself and hopped out of the car, leaving your door wide open as you followed in his footsteps. You watched the church door close, his hands slipping out of view behind it, and you groaned. You patted your hip to find you forgot to grab your gun, so you prayed to God that these wouldn’t be your last moments alive, stranded in Kansas with Spooky Mulder. You walked up to the door, looking back to check no one was coming on the road, and you huffed, pulling it open. Stepping inside, you instantly felt disgusting. It was dark and windowless, trapping all the heat in a dead building where mold was absolutely growing within the walls. The only light inside poked through holes in the wood where bugs probably had eaten through, and everything was upturned or offset. It looked like people had left in a hurry- there was still a cloth atop the altar, and Bibles were discarded on the six slender pews filling the room. You looked around for Fox, walking further down the aisle when you heard a creaking from somewhere behind you. Turning quickly on your heels, you saw nobody by the door, and then a creak sounded again, this time too quick for you to locate its direction. You slowly turned back towards the alter, and when your eyes caught up with your body, the agent appeared but inches from your face, holding a flashlight and shining it on a creepy expression. You yelped and turned away from him, covering your face.

“Fuck! You scared me, Fox!”

“Peace be with you,” he wiggled his eyebrows, digging into that creepy smile.

“Not funny.”

“What, you don’t enjoy a little blasphemy? I thought you weren’t religious.”

“Not particularly,” you grumbled, “But I don’t like getting snuck up on. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Fox dropped the flashlight and let his expression mold into something much more like himself, and he hummed. “Good to know.”

You pushed past him and stepped up onto the stage, feeling a bit odd. If your father were here, he wouldve insisted you make the sign of the cross and kneel before it, but you haven’t done that in quite a while. Instead, you paced the sinking platform, running your fingers over the dust-covered podium and chairs.

“What do you think happened here?”

“I don’t know. The rapture?” Fox scoffed, picking up a Bible that was hanging split open over the back of a pew, and flipping through the thin pages. “Looks like everyone up and left.”

“Yeah,”

You walked to the back wall, in front of the chairs, where there was a little wooden trapdoor. You tugged it open, fighting with the swollen lumber, and inside was a silver bowl full of what looked like wine, and beside it, a torn-open package of Eucharist.

“Hey, come look at this,” you called for your partner, and he stepped out of the pews to meet you at the altar.

Upon seeing the contents inside the wall, he asked, “What is this, like, a makeshift tabernacle?”

“Might be. But this bowl looks polished, and…” you paused to reach into the Eucharist bag, taking one and popping it into your mouth, “These are fresh, not stale.”

“You think someone’s been back to replace the bread and body?”

Curiously, you dipped your fingertip into the wine, and a violent chill ran down your back. The liquid was a familiar viscosity as it ran down into your palm, staining the creases. You drew the bowl out of the cupboard and carefully raised it to your nose, and a gag rose in your throat.

“That’s not wine,” you choked, “Jesus!”

Fox leaned down to sniff it, catching the metallic warning, and his eyes blew wide with shock. “Blood.”

You put the bowl back inside the cupboard and shut the door, feeling an anxiety swell in your chest. You stared at the brownish-red on your finger and thought of how it once belonged to somebody, and now it was sitting inside an abandoned church. You stumbled back like you were learning to walk, heading down the altar steps and to the pews.

“Can we please get out of here?” You pleaded at Fox, who stood at the tabernacle making faces.

“You know, now that I think of it, the other girls in the file had a loss of blood reported in their autopsies. Each a few pints. I figured it was a result of the mutilation of their chest cavities, but it could be possible that some of the blood was for sacrifice…”

“You think this has to do with the case?”

Fox began to pace, spanning the church from wall to wall as he mused. “Think about it. Whoever’s killing these girls is doing it for some divine purpose, right? What if they’re making sacrifices to God with their blood, the blood of another who’s untainted and innocent as Jesus Christ?”

“Fox–”

“No, seriously, it makes sense! This guy is clearly working in the shadow of Iscariot, and if that guy had a connection to the real Judas, wouldn’t he need to atone for his sins passed down through history? By sacrificing pure blood to God he could be saving himself from damnation in his own twisted way. Maybe his God-fearing devotion drives him to kill, to make up for Judas’ betrayal.”

“But the sacrifice of human blood isn’t exactly Catholic,” you pointed out.

“Sure it is, people drink it every Sunday!”

“Yeah, but that’s not–”

“You were not redeemed with corruptible things as gold and silver, but with the precious blood of Christ, as a lamb unspotted and defiled,” the man recited, “Peter 1:18. Maybe it’s not widley known as human sacrifice, but Christ and the lamb are thought of as one. Maybe this guy is recreating the sacrifice in the hopes that he will be forgiven. Offering up sacrificial lambs to win the favor of Heaven.”

Fox reached to open the tabernacle again, then hesitated. Turning to you, he asked, “Would you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Could you go grab my coffee cup from the truck?”

You looked at his hand on the tabernacle door, and looked to the blood on your palm, and you rolled your eyes in utter disbelief. “Fox, no way.”

“If I had a vile, I’d ask for that, but–”

“You are not going to bring that shit into our rental car!”

“What if this blood belongs to Liane, Ro? We owe it to her to find out what happened. And maybe it isn’t hers, but it’s someone’s, isn’t it? What if he’s already got another victim?”

“We don’t even know if it’s our guy!”

Fox shot you a look that said, You know it is. He wasn’t going to budge, and you knew it. You watched him open the cupboard and take the bowl out, carefully walking it to the table at the altar. Even if you wanted to leave and forget you ever stumbled upon this shithole, you knew he was right. Churches don’t store human blood in silver bowls, and if that belonged to someone who could be in danger or already dead, it was your duty to find out. You let out a stressed groan and hurried out the front door, jogging back to the truck. The sudden sunshine strained your eyes, but even through a squint in both directions on the road, there was still not a soul to be seen out there. You leaned in through the open passenger side door, fished his empty coffee cup from the cupholder, and hurried back inside where the man waited with the bowl in his hands.

“It’s gonna be contaminated,” you nagged.

“Well, we can’t just leave it here. You know that.”

Fox was careful to only pour a little of the blood into the cup, and even more careful not to spill it on you or the mildewed carpet. Once there was an espresso shot’s worth, he tipped the bowl back level and shoved it in the tabernacle, shutting the door tight on it. You fastened the lid onto the cup and held it between two fingers, freaking out just to have it in your grasp. You followed the man down the steps again, and he held the church doors open for you, which you walked through quickly, hoping it would be the last time you ever had to.

“We can get this tested at the county morgue, they can test it alongside Liane’s blood to see if there’s a match,” Fox explained, taking the evidence from your hand as you hopped into the truck.

You placed your dirty hand on the door handle and said, “You’re crazy.”

“We would’ve never found it if I wasn’t.”

He shut your door for you, and then he clambered behind the wheel, placing the blood down beside your coffee cup, which you elected to have no more of. As he started up the engine and remind himself of how many more miles he had to go on the map, you tapped his shoulder. The two of you gazed through the windshield as a little truck with a tow attachment sped past, the first car you’d seen all day. Inside was a pale man, one you didn’t get a good look at, but you saw his dark hair and small eyes, and as he drove by you felt the presence of him like an omen. You remembered how it felt to look at Liane’s cold face, and recognized the feeling as the same. Maybe you were just on edge, but everything about this felt very, very wrong.

“Something’s off about that guy,” Fox scratched his forehead in thought, “Should we follow him?”

“What? No. We’re going to see the medical examiner. Now.”

“Well–”

“Fox, you dragged me into a church and made me put blood into a coffee cup. Drive.”

“You could’ve waited in the car–”

“I said drive!”

Fox raised his palms in surrender and chuckled, shifting the car into gear and pedaling away down the road. You watched the run-down church grow small in the rearview mirror until it disappeared, and you wondered what happened inside. Maybe everyone did get up and leave. Maybe a Mass had gone horribly wrong. Maybe teenagers broke in and trashed the place. Maybe God had come down, or He had brought them up. But of all the theories you could draw, not one of them explained what that blood was doing inside the wall, and even if it was your job, you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to know. Liane’s face flashed before your eyes as you closed them and slumped in your seat. Fox watched you out of the corner of his eye, and he saw the blood on your finger, and he hoped that you’d come away from this case with more than just resentment for his insane methods. He kept driving, and you kept breathing, and the both of you prayed that the medical examiner hadn’t called the Bureau about the agents who were an hour late for their meeting.

“Woah. Good morning, sunshine,” Fox sing-songed.

Visibly flustered, you croaked, “Morning. Thank you,”

“Sorry,” you winced, “I overslept.”

“It’s okay. They want us down at the M.E.’s office, but we have a little time. I’ll wait for you.”

“I’ll just be a minute!”

“You okay if I start driving?”

“No. You look… smart.”

“Wow, thanks,” you giggled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll try not to take that as an insult.”

“Well, who wants to look stupid?”

Yours challenged the flush of his cheeks, and you rolled down the window, letting some of the hot air out of the car. He began to back out of the motel, taking a right onto the main road.

“Wonder where all these people were yesterday,” you observed.

“At the crime scene,” your partner answered, shooting you an apologetic glance. “I think we showed up at an unusual time.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Jeez, we’ve got a while to go. You see this?” You asked, pointing to the location.

Fox glanced over and gave a wry chuckle. “Yeah. Straight shot up. We should get there in a little over an hour if I ignore these speed limits,” he winked, pointing to a sign.

“You could’ve swerved us into the field, Fox. Why don’t you let me open the damn thing? I’m sitting right in front of it!”

A shameful heat flooded your chest, and you shut your mouth.

“You’re welcome.”

“Is that a church?”

“I think so. It’s not on the map.” Fox replied, turning off the engine and unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Hey, wait, we have to get to the–”

“I’ll only be a minute. It’s not like anyone’s driving out here anyway.”

“Damn it.”

“Fuck! You scared me, Fox!”

“Peace be with you,” he wiggled his eyebrows, digging into that creepy smile.

“Not funny.”

“What, you don’t enjoy a little blasphemy? I thought you weren’t religious.”

“Not particularly,” you grumbled, “But I don’t like getting snuck up on. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Fox dropped the flashlight and let his expression mold into something much more like himself, and he hummed. “Good to know.”

You pushed past him and stepped up onto the stage, feeling a bit odd. If your father were here, he would've insisted you make the sign of the cross and kneel before it, but you haven’t done that in quite a while. Instead, you paced the sinking platform, running your fingers over the dust-covered podium and chairs.

“What do you think happened here?”

“I don’t know. The rapture?” Fox scoffed, picking up a Bible that was hanging split open over the back of a pew, and flipping through the thin pages. “Looks like everyone up and left.”

“Yeah,”

“Hey, come look at this,” you called for your partner, and he stepped out of the pews to meet you at the altar.

Upon seeing the contents inside the wall, he asked, “What is this, like, a makeshift tabernacle?”

“Might be. But this bowl looks polished, and…” you paused to reach into the Eucharist bag, taking one and popping it into your mouth, “These are fresh, not stale.”

“You think someone’s been back to replace the bread and body?”

“That’s not wine,” you choked, “Jesus!”

Fox leaned down to sniff it, catching the metallic warning, and his eyes blew wide with shock. “Blood.”

“Can we please get out of here?” You pleaded at Fox, who stood at the tabernacle making faces.

“You think this has to do with the case?”

“Fox–”

“But the sacrifice of human blood isn’t exactly Catholic,” you pointed out.

“Sure it is, people drink it every Sunday!”

“Yeah, but that’s not–”

Fox reached to open the tabernacle again, then hesitated. Turning to you, he asked, “Would you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Could you go grab my coffee cup from the truck?”

You looked at his hand on the tabernacle door, and looked to the blood on your palm, and you rolled your eyes in utter disbelief. “Fox, no way.”

“If I had a vile, I’d ask for that, but–”

“You are not going to bring that shit into our rental car!”

“What if this blood belongs to Liane, Ro? We owe it to her to find out what happened. And maybe it isn’t hers, but it’s someone’s, isn’t it? What if he’s already got another victim?”

“We don’t even know if it’s our guy!”

“It’s gonna be contaminated,” you nagged.

“Well, we can’t just leave it here. You know that.”

You placed your dirty hand on the door handle and said, “You’re crazy.”

“We would’ve never found it if I wasn’t.”

“Something’s off about that guy,” Fox scratched his forehead in thought, “Should we follow him?”

“What? No. We’re going to see the medical examiner. Now.”

“Well–”

“Fox, you dragged me into a church and made me put blood into a coffee cup. Drive.”

“You could’ve waited in the car–”

“I said drive!”

#fox mulder #x files #spooky mulder #the x files #fox mulder x reader #fox mulder x you #txf #fox mulder x reader fluff #fox mulder fluff #fox mulder smut #catholiscism #catholic guilt

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