#i feel silly posting the scan though now because the notes on the other one LMAO BUT I HAVE TO RUN A QUEUE WITH MY ART....WHOOPS... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beansterpie · 6 months

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ES21 japanese volumes part 2/??

< part 1 || part 3 >

Thanks for the warm reception on part 1! Honestly wasn't expecting anyone other than me and maybe a couple of friends to read, so it's nice to know that people enjoyed it! Also @blaka-smoko provided me with a link to scans of the VIS translation here-- it has up to volume 29 I believe for anyone interested (you'll have to make an account on the site to borrow the volumes though! but it's all free)

Now, to pick up where we left off--

Sena has just managed to escape the bullies, but they're in pursuit. He ends up running into a busy shopping street, where Hiruma, Sena's demonic upperclassman, happens to witness the following...

(First page -> Kuroki: "Alright! I caught...")

I love these pages sm, they're SO silly. This is the beginning of 'these kids might as well have superpowers', and I love that for them. And to be perfectly honest, I think the extra dramatic action scenes make for a really engaging sports manga, which is a genre where I tend get very bored of the whole, you know, Sports™ of it all. But ES21 always keeps me really engaged during the matches, and the super dynamic art is definitely one of the reasons.

Putting the rest under a cut!

I think I'm just gonna go ahead and post the next few pages because I love this bit lol

(Panel 3 -> Juumonji: "Shit-!" Kuroki: "I SAID MOVE!!!" Old Man: "That hurts you BRAT"

Panel 4 -> Hiruma: "That cut...." (note that the kanji here is 走り方 which is pronounced ha-shi-ri-ka-ta and means 'way of running' or 'running style', but the romaji says カット (ka-tto) which is just the English 'cut' as a loanword. I told you Hiruma does this a lot!))

Love how they somehow make Sena navigating a crowd really well into something so cool lol. But I love this entire segment.

(Panel 2 -> Togano: "Aaallright, now sto--"

Panel 4 -> Togano: "--p??"

Panel 5 -> Hiruma: "Whoa, a spin!"

Panel 6 -> The Bullies: *sounds of struggle and pain*)

(Panel 1 -> Sena: "Hiieeee-- (this is just a sound of anxiety he makes a lot) It's no good--!!"

Panel 2 -> Hiruma: "No, you can make it"

Panel 4 -> Hiruma: "With your legs, you can make it!"

Panel 6 -> Hiruma: "FLY!" (also means 'jump', but fly feels more apt))

TOUCHDOWN!!! (of getting on the train yayyy!)

I just love this whole segment-- how good the art is, how intense and dynamic and fun they managed to make a simple chase scene, how it works so well with the football visuals that Hiruma is laying over Sena's movements in his mind, Hiruma's weird omniscient presence cementing itself into the narrative lol. Properly introducing the One Thing™ that Sena is crazy good at to the audience, and that is running (usually away from something lmao).

(Panel 2 -> Juumonji: "GUHO!?" (sound of surprised pain)

Panel 3 -> Hiruma: "Toooouchdooooown! Ya-ha--!")

I love him your honor.

ANYWAY onto the next day!

(Panel 1 & 2 -> Kurita: "Oh that's right! Yesterday, a new member joined the club!" Hiruma: "Ooohhh, I actually found someone too."

Panel 3 -> Hiruma: "Truly a golden-legged Running Back. He was so full of spirit that he approached me directly, saying that he wanted to join."

Panel 4 -> Kurita: "Wow-- amazing! Good job finding him, Hiruma!"

Panel 5 -> Hiruma: "He should be here already"

Panel 6 -> Hiruma: "K, now fill out the application form~" Kurita: "S-SENA-KUN!!?")

The audacity of Hiruma casually and blatantly lying that Sena joined of his own volition lol. He just lies because it's fun, why not? 😂 Also, when Hiruma says 'running back', it just says "RB" with furigana that says ランニングバック, which is 'running back' as a loan word lol.

(2nd pic -> Kurita: "Whoa number 21! The eyeshield is so cool!" Hiruma: "If we don't hide his face like this during matches, it'll start an all-out-war among the other sports teams.")

Lol I love how shrimpy Sena is <3 In the fan-scans, the idea that the other sports clubs would try to get at Sena wasn't really mentioned until the Cupids match, so I figured I'd include it. Also Hiruma looks SO NORMAL in the first couple of chapters lol, he just increasingly gets more spiky and demonic as the story progresses, and I love that for him, but seeing little babyfaced Hiruma is fun too.

(Panel 1 -> Sena: "But I'm the manager~~!!" Hiruma: "Then, player-and-manager. do both"

Panel 2 -> the posters say: "Stay away from him -- Or the mosaic comes off")

Mosaic meaning the blurred out bits, obv. I feel like there's certain lines from Hiruma where the translation doens't quite capture the like... cavalier command with implicit threat he has in Japanese lol.

Also I get this slight vibe from his Japanese dialogue that Hiruma is like, funny lol. There's more of a deliberate sense of set up and pay off when he talks, which I get a kick out of.

Finally, end of chapter one 😂 the fuck is brevity?

Bit of an aside, but something I never noticed before about this pic of Sena's room is that he seems to collect figures of some kind? And he has a lot of games (or possibly anime) in the tv cabinet. I know in the pilot chapter (which I might post about separately sometime), Sena was characterized as A Gamer™, but that seems to have largely been abandoned in the actual series. It's fun to see the lingering remnants of that aspect of Past-Sena lol.

Moving on to chapter 2!

(Mamori: "The American Football Club!?")

(Panel 1 -> Mamori: "But American Football is... You shouldn't pick something so dangerous!")

Regarding panel 2, there isn't a mistranslation really, but I wanted to point out-- because it's fucking hilarious-- that Mamori uses four separate words that all essentially mean weak and feeble to describe Sena 😭 She's like "--because Sena is (physically) weak, insubstantial, fragile, and The Weakest™!"

Sena: "Y, you don't have to go that far...."

She really didn't 😔 how's a bitch supposed to come back from that...

Then of course Sena reassures her that he's just the shumu/manager (whatever), and won't actually be playing in matches, which she is very relieved to hear.

(Mamori: "Huh? But then why are you here so early in the morning?

Sena: "A meeting about club management!!")

Oh Sena :')

Cut to:

(Hiruma: "Come now, it's morning practice!!!"

Sena: "ALL LIES~~!!")

Soon, soon Sena, you will learn. But man look at the unbridled joy on our demon spawn captain's face <3 we love a chaotic gremlin.

Just wanted to gush a little about how much I love Murata's establishing shots, especially this one. Gives such an excellent vibe of early morning at a school before most students are present-- plus over the course of the series you end up getting such a good sense of the overall layout of the school!

(Panel 1 -> Kurita: "Well-- you know how we haven't had three people since the formation of the club? I was just so happy that I had to wake up early"

Panel 2 -> Kurita: "I was so amped up that I've been at it since 2am!" Hiruma: "An idiot, there's an idiot here.")

All told basically the same as the fan-scans, but I think the Japanese version slyly implies the existence of Musashi a little better. I always wonder with these things just how much of the back stories were hashed out-- like was Musashi's design already established? When we see him for the first time later (unbeknownst to us) did the creators already know That Guy was Musashi? Questions, questions...

(Panel 1 -> Sena: "That was close! I was about to join in on practice without realizing!" Hiruma: "Right, guess we should go through everything once, starting with the ladder."

Panel 2 -> Hiruma: "Since we've got newbies present and all." Sena: "Hiiieeeee!" (he's like a small dog, he whimpers when he's scared)

Panel 3 -> Kurita: "Ah wait. Actually my neck kind of hurts. I think I might call it quits after doing a 40 yard dash or something."

Panel 4 -> Hiruma: "40 yard dash, huh? It's been a while. Alright, let's measure our times.")

K-Kurita.... your head looks like it's gonna pop off.....

(Panel 2 -> Hiruma: "Time?"

Panel 3 -> "Kurita Ryokan: 40 yard run: 6.5 seconds"

Panel 5 -> Hiruma: "This fucking fatty!! What morning practice, you've gotten slower than before!!" Kurita: "I can't help it, I'm already tired--!!")

@blaka-smoko mentioned this in their reblog on the last post, but Hiruma preludes all his nicknames with 糞 (ku-so) which means like, shitty, but the furigana says ファッキン which is just "fucking" as a loan word lol. So all his nicknames canonically and literally start with the English word "fucking". Fucking chibi, Fucking monkey, Fucking manager, etc, etc. The official VIS version changed this to 'damn', which is nothing but a damn shame lol. Let Hiruma say fuck!! He's literally already saying it!!

(Panel 1 -> Hiruma: "Alright, watch how it's done!" Sena: "!? So fast!!"

Panel 4 -> "Hiruma Yoichi: 40 yard run: 5.1 seconds"

Panel 5 -> Hiruma: "Ya-ha-! That's my best time!!" Sena & Kurita: "Whoa--!!")

He's so fucking spiky!! And I love how expressive their physical movements are, like Hiruma's little twist in the last panel is so fun.

The first three panels are basically accurate, (though in panel two, Hiruma is like "What's that? You want to run so bad you can barely contain it?" which made me chuckle) but panels 4 & 5 are different.

(Panel 4 -> Kurita: "But, isn't it weird? If he's that fast (and he uses 爆速 (ba-ku-so-ku) which means like, explosive speed) I think he would have been famous in middle school."

Panel 5 -> Hiruma: "Hmm... now that you mention it.... Well, we'll know for sure once we measure his time.")

I like that Kurita points out something to Hiruma that he didn't consider! These early chapters gives a bit more of a feel of Hiruma and Kurita's friendship imo, before there's more characters that the story needs to focus on, and the two of them solidly enter the Senpai™ realm among their teammates.

Of course, then Sena runs and gets 5.0 seconds, which is already fastest on their little team! But Hiruma isn't satisfied with that....

The fan-scans are aaaalmost right? But confused. It makes it sound like Hiruma is quoting something Sena said/wrote down in the past (that he somehow aquired as Hiruma is wont to do), and then the line in panel 3 just doesn't make sense. In Japanese, it comes across more as like, Hiruma looks up some records of Sena on his laptop, and the rest is him putting together an analysis based off of that.

(Panel 1 -> Hiruma: "In Kobayakawa Sena's middle school physical endurance records-- he came first only in Repetitive Sideways Hopping."

Panel 2 -> Hiruma: "Must be due to the explosive power that you built through your gopher-ing... which is how you have that rocket-start. But you immediately lose speed, which is why you never make any records in a footrace.

Panel 3 -> Hiruma: "So all we have to do is make sure you don't lose speed."

Panel 5 -> Hiruma: "CERBERUS!!!")

BEST BOY BEST BOY BEST BOY!!!

This is basically correct, so I used the scans for visual clarity because taking good pics of a double page spread is hard :')

anyway RUN BOY RUN!! Also love Hiruma's little fist pump in the last panel. Murata being awesome with gestures as usual.

(Panel 1 -> Hiruma: "This is beyond high school records! It's the top speed in the NFL! Nobody can stop this!"

Panel 2 -> "The Golden Legs!!")

I don't know if it's true that 4.2 sec is the NFL record (at least at the time) or not, and frankly I don't care. Within the context of this series, 4.2 secs is the speed of light, and Sena's got it!

I've always liked that Sena's got this glass canon thing going on-- OP in terms of speed only, extremely weak in every other regard. It's funny and unexpected in a shounen protagonist, and it makes for a very satifying arc, even if there aren't any surprises. I actually in part got into B.N.H.A . waaay back in 2014 because Deku reminded me of Sena (well, I got into it because I'd read the artist's previous manga and was curious, but Deku reminding me of Sena is what made me stay (well, until I left again a couple years later lol)). Point is, I'm very fond of Sena, I think he's fun!

Oof I wanted to squeeze in one more pic but I'm at the limit already lol. But chapter 2 ends with excitement all around-- and Hiruma says that they'll be winning the Spring Tournament. (Sena imagines himself as the manager and boy, after all that you still think you're just gonna be the manager? 😭)

Of course this is when Hiruma informs them that the first match is tomorrow lol. A team with 3 players. Good luck!

That's all for part 2-- hope y'all enjoy my ramblings!

#eyeshield 21 #es21 #eyeshield 21 japanese readalong #this one mostly ended up being me just gushing abt eyeshield but eh #that's how it is sometimes!! sometimes I don't have intelligent thoughts only !!! wow!!! this is so great!!! wow!!!!

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multiplefandomsblog · 3 years

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request; Can I request Nagito, Kokichi, and Rantaro with an s/o that has a hard time understanding why someone feels a certain emotion in situations?

pairing(s); rantaro x gn!reader, nagito x gn!reader, kokichi x gn!reader

warnings; blood, violence, broken noses, strong language, kind of angsty — sorry that nagito's is super long- i started off with him and i haven't written in a long time so i just shit all over the place, fluff at kokichi, i have mood swings I'm so sorry about the whiplash you are about to witness

note; yesss i am back to finish these requests yurrrrrr sjansjdhfbasdkjfds I'm not gonna make a big announcement or anything(I'm still trying to figure out how to balance everything in my life rn, so I'm sorry for people who are waiting on me—) , just gonna spit out as many finished requests as i can, sorry for the abrupt pause of everything by the wayz ill be (hopefully) regularly posting works from now on.

(also this request was kind of vague, so i used the example of someone getting upset/angry and reader not understanding why; i hope that's okay :'))

Nagito Komaeda

◊ I think Nagito would understand your struggles more than anyone else.

◊ And… honestly, it kind of reassures him that you share a struggle with him. It makes him feel less alone, less like the odd one out.

◊ Being similar to someone like you in any way, even if it was a genuinely difficult and real struggle; was a blessing in disguise for someone as lowly as him.

◊ Getting that out of the way, Nagito would never see your struggle as what it is. The way he views you, how highly he puts you up on a pedestal, as well as how much hope he believes you to hold; he, at first*, won't help you at all with your struggles.

◊ As a strong believer of hope overcoming despair, good defeating bad; Nagito is positive that the struggles you hold will always be defeated, bludgeoned into a despairing sludge by your all-mighty hope.

◊ And at first, he won't even think of this as a bad thing! You should be proud of it, of course, unless it stirs despair within you.

◊ * That being said, if he sees you struggling with your inability to understand human reactions to an awful point, he would put his obsession with hope aside, and focus on trying to help you as your boyfriend.

◊ Though I'm afraid, he wouldn't be much of a help, because he gets stuck on this one too.

◊ If you ever unintentionally angered someone, however, and/or provoked them to potentially hurt you; he'd immediately step in and lay the damp washcloth of apologies on the accidental fire you had set.

◊ Though there is a high chance, he'll make it worse by saying something he hadn't intended to sound condescending. It just came out that way.

◊ Nagito would never put your well-being before his insatiable need for you to accelerate and empower your hope.

◊ He's your boyfriend before he is your admirer of hope.

— "What...? How can you- how can you be so calm!?" Confusion, fear, and intimidation seemed to overwhelm you as you stepped back, eyebrows creased in utmost confusion as the person before you, seemed to have been angered by your wording.

Suddenly, you had started repeating and reversing over what you had previously said, scanning your wording for things that could have been perceived as offensive; only to grow even more confused as you had found none.

"I... What? Are you... are you mad at me or something?" Your genuine tone of voice, as well as the genuine look of confusion on your face, had been blurred and unnoticed as the ugly emotion of anger seemed to destroy their human senses— and the person had unfortunately taken your question as an insult.

Without another word, the sickening crunch of flesh and bone hitting flesh and bone echoed throughout the trial room. Flesh and bone that had thankfully, and unfortunately, hadn't belonged to you.

"Holy- Someone hold them back!"

"There's... no need for that...!"

Turns out Nagito took the hit for you.

He peeled the hand tending to his nose away from his face, revealing the nasty bruising and the blood dripping down his nostril—despite the gruesome sight of it all, he still seemed to be smiling. Smiling as if something amazing had just happened, and he was dying from the joy he had been feeling.

He wasted no time to spew out whatever he could think of, despite the shock and adrenaline from getting a broken nose, he still fought through the struggle to speak properly, as well as merely breathing without immense pain.

It was like second nature to him, to steer the blame and the aggression away from you—even if it almost killed him. Anything... to protect his hope.

"Haha, this is... Whatever you need to achieve your hope, whether it be a good old-fashioned beat-down or... murder;" a laugh crossing the line to psychotic erupted from Nagito's scratchy throat.

"I personally invite you all—especially (name)—to bruise me up and brutally murder me for your pleasure, and your hop!" —all at the expense of him making sure no one gets the chance to lay a single finger laid onto you.

◊ He loves you, and he swears this is out of (mostly) good intention <3?

◊ i- i think i lost it somewhere in the middle

Rantaro Amami

◊ Literally, the most understanding, supportive, and comforting man you will ever meet and have as an emotional support boyfriend when you struggle with humans and just... humans.

◊ For first impressions, Rantaro will remain as understanding as he already had been, and is. If he visibly sees you struggle with the reactions of others to specific situations, he'd never start up shit, as well as assume you mean something bad immediately. He will always give you the benefit of the doubt, and the fact that he loves you may have been a factor — but I swear, he does this with everyone else too.

◊ If you ever responded/reacted to something that normal human beings usually respond differently, Rantaro would definitely notice, but he wouldn't say anything until he had his suspicions confirmed — and until someone else decided to get pissy or upset about it.

◊ If you ever get into a conflict with someone about how you seem emotionless( even though you're really not ), Rantaro will always be there to defend you and back you up. The first thing he would do is try to understand your side, then their side, and then try to see how the two fit together, and how you both grew to have your reaction.

◊ Most conflicts and arguments end peacefully, at fault to Rantaro's experience of being exposed to many personality types(his sisters), and completely normal and human struggles(also his sisters).

◊ Though, notice how I said most.

◊ Some situations and arguments, really can't be resolved, nor looked past—especially when personal, and very strong feelings are involved. You really can't avoid it when people are still grieving.

◊ But even so, Rantaro will remain a mediator and a peace-keeper until the end; he doesn't and never has enjoyed violence or super over-the-line arguments.

— "N- no, I a- actually don't understand...! I didn't mean to-"

"Oh, shut up! No one's believing that crap!" The shock and the hurt from their words had visibly affected you — the disbelief and their rage hadn't done anything to calm your anxiety from not having understood what had been wrong.

Rantaro would intrude on the one-sided argument, a gentle yet nervous smile on his face as he tried to put some distance between you and the person who had gotten offended. "Hey now, I understand you're upset, but it'll be safer for all of us if you don't insult them. I'm sure this was just a big misunderstanding... let's sit down, yeah?"

◊ If you ever feel frustrated or upset about a past interaction with someone he had reacted in a way you hadn't expected, feel free to expect Rantaro to be there for you with his comfort. Whether it be assurances, hugs, or just a listening ear; he'll be there for you.

◊ He may not understand your struggles to an extreme extent, but he will try his best to empathize with you and to understand you; and if he doesn't? That's okay. Because he still has cuddles + listening to you rant as his plan B solution on getting your frustrations out.

Kokichi Ouma

◊ Kokichi... doesn't understand you at all.

◊ It's second nature to him to react abnormally or to over-exaggerate towards something that probably shouldn't have gained a reaction like that — but that doesn't necessarily mean that had been his true reaction from the start.

◊ They're lies, well, most of it.

◊ When Kokichi notices your confusion, or if you come to him about your frustrations; he won't believe you at first. It's a stupid thing to not trust someone about, yeah, but he lies all the time about this kind of thing — so not only would he feel terrible if you were telling the truth about your real struggle, he would-

◊ Oh, you're telling the truth?

◊ ... Oh.

◊ Well, of course, he feels horrible for his past faked reactions and lies. A part of him believes it to be his fault entirely, whilst the larger, louder part of him believes it to be someone else's fault.

◊ And he's a liar; so of course, he'll lie. To himself, at least.

◊ "Wha—!? Who's been confusing my beloved? Gimme names and I'll get 'em!"

◊ He's not much of a listener, nor a person who really just... talks about serious shit. So despite not wanting to talk directly about serious things, as well as not being the best at comforting you in a 'serious' manner, he has his own little way of dimming your frustrations with human beings.

◊ He won't show it, nor will he mention it, but he does try to be more transparent with you; as well as tries to be less confusing when talking and/or interacting with you.

◊ The reactions are dimmed down, and despite that, he still continues to be silly and still continues to joke around — just not in a way that'll frustrate or confuse you(ish). He's all about getting reactions out of you, especially frustration but, he wouldn't purposely augment your anxiety about this type of thing.

◊ ^^ If he was to do that, however, he would always tell you it was a lie afterwards. After all— despite enjoying the thought of you thinking of him all week—he doesn't want you stressing and/or overthinking about it for the rest of the week.

◊ Kokichi definitely feels guilty of your struggles, however, they may have not blossomed directly from him, he still feels horrible for triggering it? You? — look- what he's trying to say is, he feels awful, and he hadn't meant to make your struggle with understanding other human beings, worse.

◊ Though there are times he does find your confusion and gullibility to be sort of entertaining in a way, but he would constantly feel bad about finding pleasure in your frustration.

◊ Kind of bad.

— "Nishishi! I'm just saying, if someone took a fat shit on my lawn, I would thank them—"

"Wh- Seriously.. ? Why??"

◊ He finds it hilarious how you seem to take his words to heart, but of course, fun comes to an end as he says—

— "Nope! It's a lie!"

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sugamamacustard · 3 years

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Let Me Help You (Part. 2)

Pairing: Alpha! Toru Oikawa x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Issei Matsukawa x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Takahiro Hanamaki x Omega! Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, Hurt/comfort.

Request: Oh boy, here we go!

Anon: hi!! can we get more of the omega depression drabbles/one shots? i would really like to see mattsun’s version and other characters you can think of!! the more angsty the better ;)p.s. luv your writing <3 also stay healthy, safe, and drink water !!

Anon: Can you make part 2 of let me help you please. if not it’s fine with Mattsun and Makki

Anon: Could you do part 2 for the let me help you with makki and mattsun please if not that’s fine this is also my first time requesting something so i’m kinda nervous💕

(Don’t be nervous at all, you did amazing!)

Anon: Mamas, can I order a continuation of let me help you?? Please?? I need some fluff after that hurt 💕💕💕🥺🥺🥺

(Mamas anon! :DDD)

Anon: omg i love the omega depression!! please continue with the rest of the third years or a pt 2 with oikawa’s !! i love your writing!!

@bohica160: Could we possibly get a part 2 with Oikawa please? 👉 👈 🥺

And I think that was all? You guys just really wanted this, and who am I to deny you?

Summary: Because of unseen circumstances, you drop, and you drop hard. How does your alpha help you/redeem himself?

Author’s Note: I kinda wanna post some self-indulgent OC stuff on here, but idk. It’s kinda crack-y and stupid. Also, we love to see a healthy relationship. Like Hanamaki’s and Matsukawa’s are so soft. Also, also, please note Hanamaki’s is heavily based off of my own experience with depression and the events after with my best friend, whom I will love and cherish forever.

Requests: Open!

Part 1: Here!

➵ You drop was actually out of anyone’s control.

➵ Omega drops rely heavily on hormone balances, much like depression, and it seemed like this month just wasn’t your month.

➵It was hard to exactly pin point when it got bad, or when you started experiencing symptoms, as they were slow and not necessarily noticeable.

➵A missed lunch here, a small scent shift there.

➵Small things that neither you nor Takahiro would notice.

➵It was much like a rollercoaster, inching higher and higher until the drop would come.

➵ Honestly, both of you thought you were fine, and since you were around both of your mutual friends (The Seijoh Team) enough no one could really point it out.

➵ It truly was a bad situation all around.

➵ You only really began noticing after a few days of ignoring lunch in a row.

➵ It hit you when you were sitting in the library, stomach clutching with hunger as you scanned through a textbook.

➵ You attempted to get up and go find Takahiro to go get something to eat, but you just...didn’t.

➵ You couldn’t find the energy to stand, much less walk, and just stayed seated

➵ You just couldn’t move.

➵Like a million bags of sand were tied to your hips weighing you to the chair.

➵ You swallowed tightly, rolling your shoulders before stuffing your text book into your bag, trying to breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.

➵Deep breaths. Thats what you needed to focus on right now.

➵ But then you couldn’t. You were hyperventilating, and white-knuckling the edge of the table as your vision turned blurry and watery.

➵ The cramping from your hunger combined with the sudden rush of emotions made you want to vomit.

➵ Before you could, you slung your backpack over your shoulder, bolting out of the library.

___

Laughter and chuckles were heavy as Takahiro gave a hearty chuckle at something Matsukawa said, shaking his head before taking a swig from his energy drink. His eyes darted to his phone every now and again, just checking to make sure you didn’t need him.

You would always come first to him.

When his screen lit up with your beaming face shining up at him, he quickly swiped to accept holding it to his ear, watching while the team laughed at Oikawa, who was shielding himself from Iwaizumi.

“Hiro?”

“Shooting star?” His brows furrowed as he slowly began cleaning his stuff, straightening himself up so he could leave as soon as possible if you needed him; which, guessing by your home, you did.

“I-I think something’s wrong.” You paused, making his heart drop. “I don’t know, but I think I need to go to the doctor, but, I know this is a lot so feel free to say no, can you-”

He didn’t let you finish. “Tell me where you are and I’ll come pick you up and drive you. Do you need me to call and book an appointment?”

A few of his packmates turned with worried eyes, trying to send a non-verbal question. Well, for most of them. Oikawa was trying to whisper-yell his questions, Iwaizumi trying to shut him up.

“I’m at the front of the school. I’ll just meet you at your car.”

“I’ll be right there, shooting star. Stay safe, okay? I love you, and I’ll see you soon Omega.” Takahiro waited for your reciprocation and own farewell before hanging up, quickly standing and swinging his leg over the bench and grabbing his bag.

“Makki-kun, is Y/N-chan okay?!” Oikawa screeched after him, actively crawling onto Iwaizumi, who looked like he was ready to commit first-degree murder.

Makki threw up a thumbs up behind him, waiting till he was out of the cafeteria before sprinting towards the parking lot.

He hoped, with every inch of his body, he didn’t lie to his captain.

___

“Take your pills.”

“Alpha, they taste horrid-”

“I don’t care, they make you feel better.”

Takahiro watched you carefully, handing you two of the teal and white pills. The alpha was strict on very few things with you, but your health he did not fuck with.

The appointment with your doctor went fine, with minimal blood work done, and you were sent off with a prescription for hormone balancing pills. You and Takahiro (Who was absolutely divine during the entire thing) were explained how the pills worked and why you dropped, all of which was simple enough to understand. Since then, Takahiro was insistent on you taking the pills in front of him.

“Open.” Takahiro demanded, watching as you stuck your tongue out. He moved your head by your chin, checking the very corners of your mouth. “Lift your tongue.”

You did so, showing nothing. He hummed in approval, letting go of your chin before pausing, pulling you close so you could hear his heartbeat.

“Thank you for caring, Hiro.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck and nuzzling into your alpha’s neck, taking in his scent.

“Thank you for telling me about this and letting me help you.” He responded, pressing a sweet peck to your temple and reminding himself you were still here in his arms. And would be with him for a long, long time.

➵ Your drop was a mix between miscommunication and little whispers in your ear.

➵ Honestly, there was a reason you were in a pack with minimal other omegas.

➵ They grew catty and mean and vindictive if there was something they didn’t like.

➵It was one of their many flaws and strengths.

➵You yourself had caught yourself bad-mouthing another omega to your alpha every now and again.

➵ Though you hated doing it, at some point it was just second nature.

➵ You and Issei had good communication though, and very rarely did something as silly as jealousy come between you two.

➵ whenever something was bothering you or your alpha you would talk it out.

➵ You both trusted each other completely.

➵ If something felt off about another person, you were quick to mention it to the other.

➵ However, sometimes things got complicated.

➵ Insecurities seeped through your walls that Issei kept strong for you.

➵And sometimes, small little whispers became hurdles and boulders pounding against your defenses and breaking them down.

➵Leaving you open and stumbling.

➵ And sometimes, because of this you forgot that you had back-up, an artillery that would fight for you at the drop of a hat.

➵ And those moments, that ones were you were caught with your tail between your legs and ass in the air waiting to be fucked over, were when you truly crumbled.

➵And though it broke you down and made you hurt, your artillery had your back.

___

“Issei, I was-”

You bit your tongue as you were roughly shoved to the side by Akina Harakashi, the omega throwing herself at your alpha. His face remained unmoved and his arms by his side.

She was his science partner for the semester, and though Issei reassured you she was nothing more, you couldn’t help but internally whine at how she acted with him. It was no secret that she liked him, but since you and Issei kept you relationship on the down low, rumors were bound to pop up.

And though you didn’t let it show, they poked and prodded at you. Make your skin crawl as you ventured deep into your own mindset. Thoughts that would plague your every move and drive your omega into overdrive as they tried fixing whatever you picked on in your own reflection.

You shivered as she looked up to Matsukawa, who was busy focusing on entering his locker combo.

“Mattsunnnn~ I’ve missed you!” Her voice was literal nails on a chalkboard to you.

“I saw you twenty minutes ago.” Matsukawa hissed as his locker popped open. “I haven’t seen you recently though, pretty thing.”

Your omega purred as Issei grabbed his textbook, closing his locker and pushing past Akina. He smirked down at you, intertwining your pinkies in the most discreet way possible before walking you to class.

You glossed over his question when he asked you how lunch went.

___

“Do you think Harakashi and Matsukawa are dating?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me, have you seen how she hangs off of him?”

“I think they’d make such a cute couple!”

“If Matsukawa doesn’t ask her out soon, he’ll loose her.”

You kept your head down and scent blocking collar tight as you slowly crept through the hallway, exit in front of you. Honestly, you didn’t have the energy to continue on with the day, so you were leaving it the midst of lunch, where you could loose yourself in the crowd and disappear.

You wanted nothing more than your alpha, but his last message had your eyes stinging.

‘Harakashi asked me to meet her at lunch, so I won’t be able to see you. Eat something. At this point, I’ll even take junk food. Just get some food. I’ll see you after school.’

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it did, but it stung you deeply. This was it. This was the downfall of your and your alpha’s relationship. You were blown off for Akina Harakashi at long last.

The rational part of you wanted to defend Matsukawa, but every time you tried, the insecurities that had been bubbling within you spit towards the rational part of you and your omega, throwing any redeeming thought into the corner to rot.

A part of you was angry. Angry with Matsukawa for letting this happen. Angry with yourself for not speaking up. Angry with your fucking stomach which groaned for food of any sort. Livid with Akina for trying to steal Mattsun.

Angry at the world.

You couldn’t really remember the last time you ate anything besides...air. The days all blurred together in one miserable run.

“What did I say?”

You glanced over at Matsukawa, heart leaping at the jump he gave you appearing out of nowhere, leaning on the wall beside you. You huffed, turning away from him and leaving him to follow after you. He did so, jogging a bit to catch up.

“You said I’d see you after school. This is not after school.” You snapped, growling at the alpha. He raised a brow, either in disbelief at your attitude or amusement.

“Omega. I said eat. This doesn’t look like eating.” His longer legs gave him the chance to cut in front of you, face now set in anger.

“You also said you had to meet with Harakashi. So scurry along to your new play thing.” You shoved past Matsukawa, trying to ignore the stinging in your eyes.

“What are you talking about?!” Issei smartened up, grabbing your wrist when you tried leaving him behind yet again, now visibly irritated. Truth be told, he was meeting up with Harakashi to put an end to her insistent clinginess. To put her in her place, beneath you.

She tried confessing to him before he even looked up, coming into the room with her arms outstretched already, yelling about ‘I knew you felt the same’ or something . He dodged her, sneering down at her and snapping at her to leave him alone or he’d go through the semester alone (Which he already talked to the teacher about, but she didn’t need to know about that).

Hanamaki had been his eyes when he wasn’t there, reporting back to Matsukawa with updates on you. His latest? You had been missing from lunch for the better part of the week, and last he saw you were ditching the last half of this day.

Which Matsukawa wasn’t letting happen, because if you went home right now, you wouldn’t come back. And he couldn’t live with himself if he let you drop.

“I was meeting with Harakashi to tell her to piss off. You’re my omega. Why in the hell would I even want someone like her when I already have you? You are mine, and I fought for you. I don’t need a corner worker.”

Any fight you had in you disappeared when you saw the small tears glazing your alphas eyes, making your own break free as you ran into his chest. His arms locked around you, holding as if you would slip away if his grip loosened.

Which you just might’ve. Good thing he wasn’t planning on letting you slip.

“Wanna go get food?”

“...Yea. Can we get nuggets?”

“Anything for my pretty omega.”

➵ Okay this one is super short, and I’m sorry! I just wanted to get this out for you guys!

➵ And I think you guys wanted a follow up of sorts for Oikawa.

➵So here it is!

➵ Things didn’t improve over night.

➵It took awhile, but it was worth it.

➵ In time you and Oikawa reached a nice equilibrium.

➵ He wore his bond mark loud and proud and you made sure to tell him when you were uncomfortable with his fangirls and how close they were getting.

➵ In turn, you learned to slowly let go of any reservations you had on his loyalty.

➵He wouldn’t have marked you if he didn’t want to devote his entire being to you.

➵ This showed up when a girl, who you despised (With no hard feelings, since she hated you just as much) tried confessing to Oikawa.

➵Toru, baby boy, shut her down the minute she opened her mouth.

➵ He didn’t even look her way, instead searching for you and quickly brightening up when he saw you.

➵ If he had a tail it would’ve been wagging.

➵ Things improved and everyone was all the better for it.

➵ And Toru made sure to, not only apologize to Iwaizumi, but gift him a voucher for a free movie for him and his omega (who was having a hard time as well).

➵Things were looking up and you both were sure to keep it that way!

___

“Kentaro, please don’t hurt Kindaichi!” Your pleas fell on deaf ears as you tried to stop the alphas from snapping on each other.

It wasn’t that Kyoutani didn’t like or respect you, because he did-- you were like a second mom, but Kindaichi just got on every single one of his nerves. And then tried dragging you into it! Like, the audacity of this bitch.

“Kyoutani!” Your alpha’s bark had both the blond and raven pausing, a careful glance making both back down as Oikawa heading towards you guys (Throwing a pile of confession letters into the trash on his way by without even looking; some point they would get the hint if he left the blatantly in the open).

The blond growled lowly, sending you a quick glance before returning to practice. Oikawa let him, turning his glare to the instigator of the whole thing. The onion-headed pup hid behind your smaller frame, making your laugh.

It was almost like that moment when dad’s pulled out their ‘behave or else’ voice. And in a way it was.

“One of these days my pretty dove won’t be there to save you, Kindaichi.”

“I know.”

You and Oikawa sent a look to each before you laughed, moving so Oikawa and Kindaichi could have a ‘man to man’ talk.

The pack was dysfunctional, and you almost let it go.

You were thankful you didn’t and still had this family to come back home too. All thanks to your alpha.

“STOP MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT YOUR OMEGA SHITTY-KAWA.”

“I can’t help it, Iwa- IWA STOP HITTING ME- Y/N HELP-”

You shook your head laughing, jogging to save said alpha.

He was childish and arrogant, and sometimes got too far up his own ass, but he was yours. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

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kenkamishiro · 3 years

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Lost in Translation: Choujin X chapter 1

Fun fact, I was planning to do fan translations for Choujin X with a scan group until it could get a simulpub release, though I didn’t expect it to get one from the very first chapter lol. I’m happy though since it means everyone can read it right away and it doesn’t mess up my schedule.

So instead I’ll be making comparison notes between the EN and JP text to supplement the official translation. I’m not doing this because the official TL is bad (I actually think it’s pretty solid and I hope it will maintain this quality) but because it’s inevitable for something to be lost in translation, and it’s nice to have that additional context for theory crafting and whatnot.

If you want to read it on Twitter instead, the original thread is here, but this is the proofread and way more detailed version 😄

This translation isn’t wrong, but there’s an emphasis on それ (which is TLed as ‘it’) that connotes a stronger, “other, that thing” feeling that isn’t present here. The general idea behind this sentence is: That [becoming a Choujin] resembles more of a disease [than a transformation].

Ely talks like a tomboy, she uses rougher speech patterns and the pronoun オラ (ora), a derivative of the masculine 'ore'. But it's a bit old-fashioned (eg. すまなんだ) which makes sense considering her upbringing with her grandfather on a farm. Hence her country bumpkin speech pattern in English.

Not sure if I should use Ellie or Ely? Ellie makes more sense based on the kana, but Ishida explicitly called her Ely so I might stick with Ely for now... (also istg that blond guy with the huge chin is a reference, I've seen him somewhere)

Tokio, I know your teacher is annoying, but it's rude to call her that lol. This is basically the oppai equivalent of paisen (senpai backwards, it’s slangier). Similar thing actually happened with Ely describing her dream hubby as Goldilocks instead of blond; ‘kinpatsu’ (blond hair) was inverted to become ‘patsukin’, hence the translation as Goldilocks.

Kurohara Tokio (黒原トキオ) and Higashi Azuma (東アヅマ). Kurohara is a common surname, means 'black fields'. Tokio is in katakana, so it’s hard to say what kanji it could be. 'Toki' could be 時 (time) or 外喜 (outside + delight). The 'o' can be the common male name suffix 男 (boy).

But when I think of Tokio, I think of TK's song called 'tokio'. You can read the translated lyrics here. If these lyrics end up being relevant to Tokio's character development I will eat my shoe lol.

Higashi means 'east'. Azuma (which can also be romanized as Aduma, it’s a softer ‘zu’ sound which is why Tokio called Azuma ‘Aju’ earlier in the chapter before correcting himself) is an archaic form of ‘east’. So...this guy is literally East East. The Choujin X equivalent of Moon Moon 😂

Someone also informed me that Higashi Azuma is a station in Tokyo, though the kana are slightly different (アヅマ／あづま vs. あずま). They effectively sound the same though nowadays, if I have to be honest. It’s like comparing the difference between 애 and 에 in Korean.

Tbh this is minor, but worth mentioning just cause it changes the meaning a bit. Tokio is saying something more like, “Why are we even talking about this [the roly-polies] again?”

I think I heard people talking about how the official TL doesn’t match the original text, but personally I really like how this was translated! Sis is using the expression 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」, which literally means “boiling the dirt under someone’s fingernails and drinking it”. By taking the dirt/grime under the fingernails of someone that you admire, and boiling it and drinking it like a tea, you can become more like them.

But because idioms don’t tend to directly translate well between languages, translators often have to adapt it so that the meaning still remains the same. In English the closest idiom we have to this is “rubbing off on someone.” The “holding hands” bit was added to replace the physical aspect of “taking the dirt from someone’s fingernails” and also contribute to Sis’s sassy and very informal way of speaking.

So Sis is saying in JP (ignoring her personal speech style for now):

You should take the dirt from under [Azuma's] fingernails and boil it so you can be more like him.

And now in ENG it becomes:

You guys should hold hands or something, then maybe he’ll rub off on you.

It now sounds natural in English, still carries the same meaning as the original text, and also suits the character’s speech pattern.

Moving on, in that same panel the literal TL of Tokio’s dialogue is, “Policeman Azuma got dispatched again today,” emphasizing Azuma’s heroic deeds along with his family connections to the police. Another thing I want to note is that this is the second time Azuma has been called 偉い (erai) so far - noble, and now great guy. I’ll just dump the general English definition of 偉い from Jisho here so you get the general idea:

Great; excellent; admirable; remarkable; distinguished; important; celebrated; famous; eminent

But you can tell from how people describe Azuma as 偉い that others look up to him, think he’s a great person and Mr. Perfect. Always being placed on a pedestal by others. (What are the odds this will affect his mentality after the Choujin serum?)

The meaning is still pretty much the same, but I’ll offer a slightly different perspective. Sis mentions that if she were Tokio, she’d burst from the [Azuma] complex. (Clearly Tokio and Azuma's relationship is gonna crack at some point)

Tokio mentions an idiom about hawks (taka) before recalling his childhood memory about vultures. Vultures are called 'hagewashi', but in the chapter it mentions they can also be called 'hagetaka' (buzzard/condor, literally bald hawk).

The kids call him names like "Hagetaka Tokio" and "Hageo". But Hagetaka Tokio only really works in JP cause Hagetaka kinda mimics his last name (Buzzard Tokio doesn't give the same vibe). Same with Hageo. Hage-o = Bald-o = Baldy.

I also think Buzzard was chosen over another name for a vulture like Condor because Buzzard can pass off as an insult.

I would have translated this as, “I wanted to be a lion too...” but this is just personal preference.

A continuation of the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression Sis used earlier. Without the adapted idiom the exchange goes something like this:

Tokio: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

Azuma: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

Tokio: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

Azuma: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

But since the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression was modified to make it sound natural in English, it means this conversation has to be modified too.

JP: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

EN: My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you. What do you think?

The “dirt from under your nails” part got adapted to “holding hands”, hence how the 1st line from Tokio becomes, “My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you.” “Can I have some?” makes no sense now in this context now, so it was changed to “What do you think?” as a question to Azuma to keep the similar conversation flow going.

JP: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

EN: Huh? What’re you talking about? No thanks.

Azuma’s next line is similar enough to the JP text except for the removal of “scary”. I think the reason it was most likely removed is because leaving it as it is could be constituted as homophobic (2 boys holding hands, absolutely nothing scary about it as bible thumpers would like people to believe).

JP: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

EN: She said to hold hands so you’ll rub off on me.

Tokio’s response to that is explaining what he meant by his proposal. In the original text he lays out the latter half of the idiom (he doesn’t even realize it’s an expression, poor boy), and in English he does something similar by going into why his sister said they should hold hands (so Azuma can rub off on Tokio).

JP: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

EN: C’mon. That’s not how things work.

Azuma’s then rebuts Tokio’s proposal as ridiculous. In the original text he drops a typical straight man response (don’t do *insert whatever ridiculous thing the idiot suggested*). But since Tokio’s proposal in English isn’t as preposterous, his rebuttal is toned down in response by telling him not to take it literally.

Ultimately, even though a lot of this dialogue was changed, I still think it was successful in maintaining the original’s intent. Tokio takes his sister’s sarcastic suggestion literally and brings it up to Azuma, who dismisses it as silly. It would be nice if we could keep the expression as it was in Japanese, but in instances like this where it’s played off of in multiple lines, that’s easier said than done.

軟体 isn’t an actual word, it’s made up of the kanji soft + body. So kinda like Elastigirl, but Flexi was chosen instead. It doesn’t sound 100% right, but I don’t think I could come up with anything better.

Replacing the しい in 楽しい with the C plus that elongated pronunciation makes Johnny sound even more like a stereotypical Yankee, which is why he sounds like that in English 😂

Random but I found it interesting how Azuma called Johnny a youkai (妖怪) instead of something like bakemono (化け物) or obake (お化け) since they’re shapeshifting monsters.

Tokio is worried that if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his friendship with Azuma. The sentence is fine as it is though.

Azuma’s line can also be worded as, "No hard feelings, okay?"

Bestial = 獣化 (juuka) = beast+change = beast transformation

That’s it from me, if you have questions about the TL feel free to send an ask or reply to this post, I promise I’ll check my inbox more often this time 😂

#Choujin X #Translations #fyi i also went into the holding hands TL #tl;dr i don't think it's bad and suits it well #but that's just my opinion

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extasiswings · 3 years

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you make my heart beat

I played myself...anyway, if you’re interested in the post that inspired this, it’s here, asking how I would write a forgotten first meeting + hospital AU. Also on ao3 here. Have about 2k of Buck and nurse!Eddie set between seasons 2 and 3.

Eddie is at the reception desk reading a chart when a cup of coffee slides over the counter and settles by his forearm. He glances up—

“Usually it’s the doctors bringing me bribes, not the patients,” he says, a small smile curving his lips. “Last I checked, you didn’t have charts for me to transcribe for you—what’s this for then?”

Buck shrugs and leans forward, elbows on the counter.

“Who says it’s a bribe? I can’t just do something nice for my favorite nurse?”

Eddie closes the chart and picks up the cup—his eyes slip closed as espresso and cinnamon bursts across his tongue, and he barely holds back a groan—fuck, but it’s been a long shift.

“Thank you,” he replies. “Did I know you were coming in today?”

Buck shakes his head. “Last minute check-up. Got new scans on Monday—if everything looks good, Dr. Graves should clear me to take my recertification test.”

There’s a hopeful note in his tone even as Eddie catches the flicker of nervousness that passes through his eyes, and Eddie thinks about running into him a few months earlier, about I don’t know who I am without the uniform, and reaches out. His hand curves around Buck’s elbow where it rests on the counter—it makes his breathing go a little unsteady, touching Buck without the justification and distance provided by clinical professionalism, but the touch elicits a soft smile that does funny things to his heart, so Eddie can’t quite regret it either.

“That’s really great, Buck,” he says quietly. “I’m happy for you.”

One of the new residents comes around the corner and Eddie clears his throat as he pulls back his hand.

“I guess I know what the bribe was for then,” he teases, trying to push them back to their prior, lighthearted zone. “You just wanted me to do your work-up instead of Shirley.”

Buck laughs. “Can you blame me?” He asks. “She’s mean and her hands are always cold.”

“You complain that I’m mean all the time,” Eddie shoots back as he logs into the computer to check Buck in.

“Yeah, well, maybe I—” Buck cuts himself off and Eddie glances up in time to catch the flush darkening his cheeks. There are a lot of ways that sentence could end and all of them make his own face heat.

Maybe it’s silly—he’s an adult, he’s single, he gets flirted with all the time, even, or maybe especially by Buck, he shouldn’t get flustered. But it’s because it is Buck and not just any random patient or family member that he does. Because Eddie doesn’t know what he’s doing but he wants—

He busies himself grabbing a clipboard and a check-in form and clears his throat again before looking up.

“Come on, I’ll take you back.”

“Thanks, Eddie,” Buck replies, and his smile is back, the soft one. It’s only because Eddie’s distracted by it that he notices the way it twists into a grimace when Buck takes a step.

Eddie’s brow furrows. “You okay?”

Buck waves him off. “Fine, just—I’ve been training a lot so I can take my test as soon as I’m cleared. Must have pulled a muscle or something. Twinged a little is all.”

Eddie makes a note on the clipboard and Buck groans.

“No, come on—I pulled a muscle, I’m fine, you don’t have to write that down.”

“Maybe you pulled a muscle, maybe it’s nothing—regardless, Dr. Graves should know that you’re having leg pain just in case,” Eddie says. He pauses and narrows his eyes. “You weren’t going to tell him.”

“Because it’s nothing,” Buck insists. “Come on, Nurse Diaz, isn’t there some saying about hearing hoofbeats and thinking horses, not zebras?”

Eddie steers Buck down the hall to an exam room.

“Yeah, sure. I’ve heard it,” he replies.

“So?”

“So…” They step through the door and Eddie nods at the exam table before reaching for a blood pressure cuff. “There are a lot of very common things that could be causing pain in a limb that you’ve had multiple surgeries on, only one of which is that you pulled a muscle, and some of which could be serious. No zebras required. I’m not taking the note off the chart and you’re not going to lie when you get asked about it, okay?”

He fastens the cuff around Buck’s arm and presses a button to start the reading—he can’t help the way his lips twitch at Buck’s exasperated look.

“Little pressure,” he adds, and Buck rolls his eyes.

“I should have taken my chances with Shirley,” Buck grumbles.

“Yeah, well, if there’s a next time you can bring her coffee instead—I hear she likes hazelnut lattes.”

The cuff loosens, the monitor beeps. Eddie scribbles down the number. It’s a little high—Eddie glances over, takes in the tension in Buck’s shoulders, and bites his cheek.

“It’ll be okay,” he says, even though he usually tries to avoid promising patients anything. “Best case, they run a few more scans and waste a couple hours of your afternoon to find out that you’re right and perfectly fine. Worst case, something’s wrong and they catch it now and fix it and you’re still on track to get back to work, just maybe a couple weeks later than you planned.”

“It’s already been five months,” Buck sighs, his fingers raking through his hair.

“I know it’s frustrating—”

“How’s Christopher?” Buck interrupts, and Eddie levels him with a sharp look for the obvious deflection, but allows the subject change as he logs into the exam room computer.

“He’s good,” he replies. “Great, actually. Keeps asking about you—he, uh, he had a really great time the other day, even if it was just hanging around here. I can’t thank you enough for watching him.”

It’s not something Eddie normally would have done at all, but his abuela had a fall, Pepa had to go back to work, he couldn’t take off because they were already short-staffed with three other nurses out with the flu—

And Buck had just…been there. Finished with his physical therapy and offering to stick around so Eddie could finish his shift, all smiles and no judgment, and after five months…well, they’re something like friends, right? They're...something, anyway.

“He’s an amazing kid, and it was the best day I’ve had in…awhile, actually,” Buck admits. “You really don’t have to keep thanking me. I would do it again any time.”

I do, though, Eddie thinks, but he bites it back. He bites back, I’d like that, too.

He finishes filling in the intake information and steps back.

“You should be all set. The doctor will be in any minute.” He pauses before he reaches the door. Swallows.

“Find me after?” He asks. “Let me know how it goes? I’m on until four.”

“I’ll find you,” Buck promises. “Have to say I told you so when it turns out I just pulled a muscle.”

“I’ll be glad to hear it,” Eddie replies. He gets one more smile to sustain him before he walks out, leaving Buck behind.

He’ll see Buck later.

Except…he doesn’t. The rest of his shift passes without another sign of the other man and the gnawing worry in his gut worsens. The exam room is empty when he checks, he doesn’t have any new pages or texts—it would be easy to pull Buck’s chart and find out if something happened, but that feels like it would cross a line when it’s not strictly necessary—

He shoots off a text of his own, but there’s still no reply by the time he’s showered and changed out of his scrubs.

It’s happenstance that he runs into Dr. Graves’ favorite resident outside the locker room.

“Hey, Cassie—Graves had a patient today, Evan Buckley? I did the intake, and I was wondering—”

“Oh, he was admitted,” she says. “Room 312, I think.”

Eddie’s stomach drops. Sometimes he hates being right.

“Thanks,” he says faintly. She gives him a distracted hum, preoccupied by responding to a text, and Eddie heads to the elevators.

“Hey,” he greets a few minutes later, leaning against the doorway in Buck’s room. His hands are shoved in his pockets and he’s not entirely sure whether to cross the threshold.

Buck looks…tired. Frustrated. Upset. Raw. He tries to cover it when he sees Eddie, but it doesn’t fully work.

Eddie’s heart aches.

“Blood clots,” Buck sighs with a rueful shrug. “On the screws in my leg. They said it was lucky they caught it before one broke off and traveled anywhere, or it could have killed me. Guess you saved my life, Nurse Diaz.”

“Well…” Eddie weighs his hesitation against his desire to be closer and ultimately pushes off the doorframe to step inside. “You are my favorite patient. Who else is going to bring me coffee if you died?”

“Oh, I’m sure a lot of people would be more than happy to do that,” Buck replies. “I’m picturing a line around the block here.”

Eddie settles into the chair next to the bed.

“I think you’re vastly overestimating there, but—” Eddie wets his lips as he meets Buck’s gaze. Fuck, he’s not good at this, but he would do just about anything to bring Buck’s smile back. “—but, for whatever it’s worth, I wouldn’t want anyone else to.”

“Because I’m your favorite patient?” The look in Buck’s eyes is hopeful but wary, the kind of look that says despite his easy flirtations, he’s been burned before and expects to be again. And maybe it’s that honest vulnerability that finally unsticks Eddie’s tongue because when he opens his mouth to respond, what comes out is—

“You’re not just a patient, Buck. Not to me. You have to know that.”

“Do I?”

The skepticism feels like a challenge and Eddie rises to it by leaning in—he slides his fingers into Buck’s hair and closes the gap, kissing him once, twice, as Buck makes a startled sound against his lips and curls his own fingers into Eddie’s shirt to kiss him back.

“I don’t do that with just anyone,” Eddie breathes when he pulls back. “And I definitely don’t let them meet my son. Clear enough?”

Buck clears his throat, and nods, flushed and a little dazed in a way that makes Eddie bite back a grin.

“Speaking of, I have to go pick him up, but…” Eddie steals another kiss. “I’ll come see you tomorrow? And maybe we can…talk about this a little more?”

“I’d like that,” Buck admits. “And—Eddie—I—” His throat works as he swallows.

“Thank you,” he says finally. “For not letting me brush it off.”

Eddie’s thumb rubs against the edge of Buck’s jaw before he finally drops his hand.

“I care about you. Part of that means wanting to see you care about yourself,” he replies. “You don’t have to thank me for that.”

Buck looks like he might argue with that, but ultimately just tugs Eddie in for one final kiss before releasing him.

“Tell Christopher I said hi.”

“I will.”

#chapel writes #buddie #buddie fic #eddie diaz #evan buckley #you're all horrible enablers

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another-fantasy-world · 3 years

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Theirs, In Every Way Possible

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Pairing: Jemily x Fem! Reader, JJ x Reader x Emily

Summary: JJ and Emily thought that their life couldn’t get any better, until they met you. However, what happens when you aren’t completely truthful to them and the team who was already a family to you?

Warnings: Canon Violence, Reader came from a serial killer family, Reader has so many traumas, Homophobia, Reader has trust issues and is very indecisive. Y/N might frustrate you. Major Character Injuries.

Word Count: 3816 words

GIF isn’t mine

This case is completely made up from the top of my head, so if there are any similarities in the episodes in CM, they were probably just carved in my brain. Also, this might be a little ooc because I can’t just seem to tap into their personalities just yet

I’m sorry, I tried making this as angsty as I possibly could, I’m still working on my angst.

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You were fairly new to the BAU, only working there for about 6 months, and yet you fit in really easily. It definitely helped that you were the sunshine- Penelope Garcia’s bestfriend and that Erin Strauss couldn’t bring herself to dislike you. But what matters the most to them is that fact that you were a genius. No, not like Dr. Reid genius. You understood the serial killers in a personal level, and you would often coax the weapon out of their hand and get them to submit and surrender. Of course, when they confronted you about it, you easily lied and they somehow accepted that. So much for being profilers.

You never really did know when you first started seeing the couple in a new light. Yes you liked them both. It never really mattered since you just knew that it would just fade away. It was already embedded in your brain that everyone eventually leaves and that being too close to anyone would only get them killed. You learned that the hard way. But that didn’t stop you from admiring them from the shadows. It didn’t stop you from smiling whenever they talk, it didn’t stop you from memorizing their features like they were about to vanish into thin air, it didn’t stop you from admiring how JJ controlled the media, or how Emily used that voice when she’s speaking to the unsub and it didn’t stop you from admiring how well they fit each other, how their hands fit like puzzle pieces, and how your heart clenches in awe when you see them cuddled up with each other. You didn’t know what you would do with yourself, you desperately needed to get away from them, but you also wanted and needed to be around them. God, you knew you sounded like a hormonal teenager.

“This is Daryln Garcia, Ahron Balydyn, Abbey Banagher and Jehoushua Castiel. Their names are on top of the list of the recent chain of murders all over each state.” Garcia winced at the pictures that she had to present to the whole team, she never did seem to get used to it

“Some of these are from waaaaay long before, why only now?” Emily asks from her seat , which was coincidentally next to yours

“The M.O’s are all over the place, which is why they didn’t connect the murders until now. The only thing connecting them are black sticky notes that are posted on the wall and on their body.” Rossi reads out.

“Where’s the latest one?” You ask, sipping your coffee

“...Los Angeles, California.”

“Wheels up in Five.” Hotch concludes, as everyone gets up to gather themselves.

After talking and discussing the case a bit more, You all decide to calm down for a few hours, and each and everyone of you set off to do your own things.

“Uh-huh, you’re staring at them again huh.” Garcia teased you through the screen.

Spencer was memorizing and rereading the case files,

Hotch was talking with Rossi, probably discussing the case,

Morgan has his headphones clogging his ears,

JJ and Emily were cuddling with each other as JJ munched on her cheetos.

You were currently seated away from the team, just out of earshot because you knew that Garcia would begin spouting non-sense.

“Shut up...” You blushed bright red. “...I told you this once, while I was drunk and now you bring it up in every conversation that we have. It’s just a silly little crush, sunshine. It’ll pass.” You told her, playfully glaring at the screen, to which she laughed

“Sure, Gummy Bear. Keep telling yourself that.” She grinned.

When you were about to land, you hung up on your bestfriend before steeling yourself, You didn’t need to acknowledge the gut feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you most certainly ignored the growing headache that you have.

JJ and Emily certainly noticed you right from the start. The woman who had no experience in the field whatsoever is suddenly the finest one they ever seen. (or maybe that’s just because they were so attracted to you that they happen to pay too much attention) That wasn’t the only thing they noticed though: They also noticed the tiny change in tone when you talk to either or both of them at the same time, or the way that your head would be the first to turn when they walk in the bullpen, or the way that your eyes would quickly scan them from head to toe before you bury your face into the paperwork that Hotch gave you, just a slight hint of embarrassment in your eyes peeking out from the cover or maybe it was the way that you would breathe a little heavier and talk a little faster when you discussed the case with them. You weren’t painfully obvious, but they were profilers for God’s sake, they notice everything, especially if it’s about you. There was just something so painfully attractive about you that interests them so much. The way your hair flowed as it dances with the wind, The way you licked your lips since they were dry (They tried to get you to use a lip gloss or a lip balm but you fought them, real hard.), The way your body tackled unsubs who got into your nerves (They always had to change clothes after that...), The way your eyes shined when you successfully return and reunite families, The way your mind worked: How you analyze quick, How you look at things in all angles, How you tried to put yourself in the very scene, How you work so well with Spencer and How you always seem to know what to say, every damn time. Maybe it was the way you broke social construct just by wearing a suit everytime you go to work, or it’s probably the smirks you give them when you’re right about something and they were in the wrong. (It makes them want to pounce on you, but they restrain themselves, taking their frustrations out on each other in the privacy of their own home.) But what they hate the most, it how dense you are. At this point, JJ could send you a love letter and you would think that it’s a recent case evidence.

"...This is Dr. Reid, SSA Prentiss, Y/LN, Morgan, Jareau, and Rossi."

“Right this way, we have arrested a prime suspect this morning.”

“How?” You ask, lifting two duffle bags and setting them down to your designated table

“She was found lurking around the crime scene and a bloody shirt matching one of the latest victims in his backpack.”

“Can we have her bag?” Emily asks, approaching the officer

“Yeah sure. Right this way Agent.” He leads her to somewhere while you trail Hotch to the interrogation room, only to freeze in your tracks.

“What the hell” you whispered under your breath, feeling the same suffocating aura when you felt like your past is catching up to you.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” You hear Derek ask you.

“I can’t do this. I need to call Garcia. Excuse me.” You replied with a look in your eyes. Derek recognized that same look with Emily when she ran away, pursuing Doyle to protect the team, and he’ll be damned if he let’s history repeat itself.

“Nuh-uh sweetcheeks. I know that look. Tell me.” Derek grips your forearm gently.

“Derek. I promise I won’t run away. And if I’m not back within an hour, track my phone and my ring.” you assured him, pulling your phone out and hurrying outside.

“Garcia. Please tell me that my identity is still concealed.” You begged Penelope while you were stress smoking at the back of the precinct.

“It is! I promise! There’s no way they would find you! through technology at least.” she ranted. You see, Penelope Garcia doesn’t do well with secrets, but you really needed her, and she understood that. Which is why your secret is the best kept secret she has, she hid your secret for a year now.

“Then tell me why my aunt, who might I add is an absolute psychopath, is in our major suspect list right now?” you panicked, knowing that your “family” has somehow tracked you

“It might be a coincidence, Gummy Bear. But I will look into it! I promise.”

“Garcia. One more favor. Back up all my files, all of it. From my work laptop, my FBI files, my personal devices, all of it. Then delete them all. I’m going to use a disposable starting now. Pull up the GPS service for my ring, keep an eye on me at all times. I’ll be damned if I see more of my family.” You spat out, stomping out the light of your cigarette, before popping a mint.

“Consider it done. Don’t you think it’s time to tell them?” she carefully asks, knowing how sensitive you are.

“Thank you Garcia, And I will. Once the time is right.” You grumbled, knowing that it’ll be sooner than later.

“Y/N. Tell them before it’s too late. Please, for your sake and for ours too.”

“I will short stuff. I will.”

For days you successfully evaded interrogating your aunt, subtly helping them as much as you can without raising suspicion. You knew that this secrecy is going to be revealed soon

“Y/N. We picked up coffee for you.” You suddenly hear JJ behind you, Emily’s hand gently placing the coffee in front of you, her eyes filled with concern

“You didn’t go to your hotel room did you?” Emily accused

“...No” You dropped your head onto the files in front of you

“You need your sleep Y/N. You’re no use when your brain can’t even function.” JJ retorted, taking a seat beside you, with Emily by her side.

“...Fine. A nap on that sofa. That’s it.” You bargained, determination shines in your eyes

“Okay. Go.”

And then, the moment your head hits the arm rest, you blacked out. Only waking up to Derek’s frantic shaking of your body

“Y/N! Get up!” It was rare for Derek to be this panicked and scared, and that gave you anxiety

“What? What is it?!” You stood up, feeling yourself get dizzy my how fast you got up.

“JJ and Emily are gone.”

What?

“Wait- What do you mean- How long was I asleep?” You blinked

“Precisely 4 hours, 36 minutes and 56 seconds.” Reid blurts out from infront the whiteboard.

“What happened for fuck’s sake?” You sat back down, rubbling your head

“Hotch was about to send you in on a lead, but they both volunteered instead.” Rossi explained

“And no one sent backup?” You were angry, barely keeping it in, you were slowly regretting keeping your secret now

“No one knew until now, when JJ and Emily didn’t come back after an hour, Derek went after them, only to find this.” Rossi lifts up the black sticky note.

“Family for Family, Blood for Blood”

“Is it possible that Rayna Torres, is their relative?”

“ Call and Tell Penelope I said Yes.” You point to Derek, knowing that Garcia will know what to do. You’ll let your bestfriend explain, she’ll explain it better since your mind is fogged

You couldn’t take it anymore. Your face hardened, clenching your jaw. You rarely showed anger, or annoyance for that matter, so they didn’t know what to do when you stormed off in pursuit of Hotch.

You found Hotch in the interrogation room, silently observing your Aunt

“Let me talk to her.” You say, earning a nod from him

You stormed in, slamming the door behind you.

“Listen here, you little psychopath. Where are they.” His eyes widened slightly, Hotch didn’t expect you to be so hostile

“There you are. I was beginning to think that we got the wrong team.” She grinned, intertwining her fingers, her wrists still bound to the table by a handcuff.

“I am not in the mood for your games.” You deadpanned, gripping the table to conceal your anger

“Hmmn. You always did have your father’s temper.”

“WHERE. ARE. THEY.” You slammed your palms on the metal table, making a slight dent on it. Ignoring the pain, you glared at her hard

“You know where they are child. I know that you know where they are.” The devilish grin once again appeared on her face.

“If I step foot inside that warehouse, and they are not there, I can’t guarantee your head will still be attached to your shoulders when they prepare you for your casket. Auntie.” At that statement, you walked away with a surprised Hotch on your trail.

He treated you like his very own ever since you knocked on his door, crying your eyes out, ranting about your family. Of course he noticed the small slip-ups you accidentally let out especially when you’re drunk. But it was never enough to completely put the picture together. He knows that you treat him as a father figure. Which is why he can’t let you go in there alone.

“No. Absolutely not. You might die Y/N!” You raised your brow at him, the bulletproof vest never felt as heavy as it is now

“You’ve known me for 6 months, you’ve known them for years. Why are you picking me over them? You know that I’m what they want. You or any other person steps in though that door, they’re all going to be dead before they see JJ and Emily. Not to mention they might kill JJ and Emily too. Please Hotch. This is my battle. If I die, I die. I don’t want to live knowing I could’ve done something.” Those were your last words before you slowly walked to the warehouse door after getting wired.

“This really isn’t the best first impressions you could make on your future daughters-in-law. Father.” You spoke as you saw him pointing a revolver at her, at your Emily.

You almost collapse at their state. JJ’s beautiful blonde hair caked with dirt and blood, she was staring at you, shaking her head, tears welling up in her eyes. Her lip is swollen and you could see multiple bruises forming.

However, Emily’s state was much worse. Her eyebrow was bleeding, her knuckles are bruised, she has small cuts everywhere and you could see that she was struggling to stand up despite being tied by her hands to the ceiling

“This one has a sharp tongue daughter. i don’t appreciate it.” He snarled, now pointing his gun at you

“Last one who said that exact words to had his dick cut in half. Where’s my jerkwad of a brother anyways? How’s his dick? Still has my bite marks? Scars maybe?” You smirked, hearing your “mother” load her gun

“Disrespectful Bitch. Don’t talk to your brother like that, he’s better than you ever will be” She snarled, firing at your feet, slashing through your pants, making you bleed slightly, making JJ scream through her gag.

“Your aim’s getting rusty.” You pulled out both your guns, pointing them at you biological “parents”

“And you’re wearing a bulletproof vest. Take it off and kick your guns to us. You know what’ll happen if you don’t” you gritted your teeth, taking off the vest despite the protests of Hotch and the rest of the team

“Happy?” “Very.”

“Now let them go.” You frowned

“No. You see, since you do love them right?” Your father smirked, making you frown

“Yes. I do. I’m in the same team as them for fuck’s sake!”

“No. No. That’s not just it. You love them in a different way as well. Say it.”

“...” Your mother rolled her eyes at your silence and fired two bullets to Emily and JJ, scraping Emily’s cheek and JJ’s shoulder.

You flinched, you knew not to show emotion, but it’s painful to see the women you love get hurt.

“Okay! Fine! You want me to say that I love them? I will.” You gritted out

“Go on then, you know how I love my drama shows.” You glared at them, taking a deep breath in, watching them walk out of the room, a bright spotlight aligns itself on the three of you, It really is a sick TV show that your parents would love to watch.

“What they say is true. I don’t know if you noticed it yet. But I do love you, both of you. I really hoped that I could tell you over dinner, or a cup of coffee, but I guess life has other plans. Loving the both of you seems so weird, and unconventional, but who wants to be normal and boring am I right?” You chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, which they didn’t appreciate.

You moved your hand to their gags slowly, listening for complains from your parents, hearing none, your grabbed their gags and pull them down.

“Y/N-” They both started

“Shhh. Let me speak, you know I don’t have much time.” You smiled, implying that you wouldn’t get out of this alive.

“I notice everything. I do. I’m not as dense as you think I am. I just... I didn’t like the thought of you both getting attached to me. I love you both so much that I knew that if they catch up to me, I could die, or you could get hurt. And now this happened.” JJ shook her head as if to say it isn’t your fault.

“I love you both so much, I love the way you look at each other, often wished I could look at you both like that. I love the way you both force me to sleep then give me coffee in the morning. I love the way your brow furrows when you see a detail in the reports that displeases you, and then you’ll playfully glare at JJ and I when you notice that we’re laughing at you. There’s a lot more that I want to say to you, but I don’t have enough time.” you say, moving closer to them, tears staining their bruised cheek.

“I’ll see you in our usual spot in the coffee shop across the street?” You whisper to JJ, kissing her cheek

“I’ll be copying your move now.” You chuckle lightly, kissing her cheek

A slow clap rang throughout the room.

“Now that is a perfect drama and revenge.” You whipped your head around, only seeing your father. Pulling out your knife from your thigh, you run towards him recklessly, the screams of JJ and Emily’s pleads piercing your ears.

And then three gunshots rang throughout the warehouse, Derek kicked the door down, chasing after your laughing family. Your ears were ringing, you didn’t even notice that you collapsed from the impact. You couldn’t believe it actually worked. You could feel the sticky, red colored cornstarch mixture on your abdomen. However the growing pain on your shoulders prevented you from celebrating.

“Fuck.” You whimpered out, the impact of the bullets on your abdomen radiating throughout your body, yet you can also feel the bullet that’s still in your shoulder.

“Y/N. Stay with us come on” Emily whispered, despite her being in a worse condition that you, She still has your hand in a death grip.

“I’ll be fine Em.” You reassure her through jagged breaths, JJ’s crying face invading your view made you smile too.

The moment that Emily and JJ were free from their binds, they immediately limped towards you as fast as they can, both of them on each of your side, silently wishing that they had more time

“They only managed to shoot me on my shoulder okay? I’ll be fine.” You could see the confusion in their faces, which faded when the paramedics unbuttoned your stained white shirts, only to find another bulletproof vest and an empty plastic bag, previously filled with what they can assume was fake blood.

Emily’s eyes widen, what you did was dangerous, and extremely risky. You gambled on a unpredictable mess and she wondered how you got Hotch to approve of what you did, only to find out later that Hotch didn’t know either.

You could only smile at them, feeling the drugs the paramedics injected take effect, slowly drowsing off. You were happy they were somewhat safe. You were also happy that you managed to stab your father in his arm. Even if your brother did shoot your shoulder from behind, you were still happy with how things turned out.

Almost regretting what you did when you woke up to a staring Emily, JJ quietly handing you water, before they both scolded you like there’s no tomorrow.

However, after what seemed like ages of reprimanding from the older women, they both pecked your lips before asking you out on a date.

I guess it all worked out in the end.

#criminal minds #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau imagine #jennifer jareau x reader #emily prentiss x reader #jemily x reader #emily prentiss imagine

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oddsnendsfanfics · 3 years

Text

Unraveling in the Sheets

Genre: Fan Fiction

Pairing: Henry Cavill/OFC

Warnings: Language, Sexual Content, NSFW

Rating: M

Length: Short Story

Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.

A/N: Spoiler Alert, there is smut. Be warned. It's there.

Also, I am no longer doing tags on posts. Since my list exceeds the tag limit. Please feel free to join the chat in place of the tag list.

Henry Cavill Master List

“How did you do it though?” Gliding the car into a free parking space, Henry glanced at Nell in the passenger's seat.

“How did I do what?” Eyeing him curiously, she tried to hide her gloating smile. She could be a terrible winner, even if she wasn't the winner, she had came ahead of Henry.

“You know what I mean, Nelly.”

He looked so silly, his new mustache curling when he laughed or smiled. Nell had to admit, if any man could wear the 'stache Henry did it well.

“Oh, you mean how did I suddenly leave your ass behind and finish nearly 50 positions ahead?” She laughed, crinkling her nose. “I told you, I've been working hard for this. Besides, you're too big. You move slower than I do. It's that simple. Maybe next year, you will finish ahead of me.”

“You're impossible.” Unbuckling his seat belt, Henry hurried to get out of the car and around to the other side, before Nell could open her own door. Nearly there, he frowned when she opened the door, stepping out of the Aston Martin. “You were supposed to let me open that.”

“I am supposed to do a lot of things that I do not.” Nell grabbed her hand bag. “I'll let you open the door, next time. You big dork.”

Henry was always the gentleman, even when Nell would rather rip his eyes out than speak to him in a civil manner. Not that she ever felt the former much, but on the rare occasion. Sometimes that's how things went for ex-lovers. The mid May air was growing cool, leaving a few goosebumps on Nell's exposed arms. She had expected to be back before now, which is why she'd left her sweater in the hotel.

“Well, happy late birthday. It was nice having dinner with your family. I've missed them.”

“They've missed you, too. I could tell that dad was happy you came along. He hasn't talked that much during a dinner since the last time you came over.” Henry smiled fondly. "I'm glad that you came, Nelly." Hands in his pockets, Henry sauntered along beside Nell. Approaching the main entrance, he held the door allowing her to enter.

When he'd invited her for the weekend, he wasn't confident that she would come. Wrapped up in work, Nell didn't take too much time away from Dublin these days.

"It was a nice break from work." Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, Nell bit her bottom lip. "I know that you are busy, but do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"I always have time to talk with you." Scanning the hotel lobby, Henry tried to find a spot for them to sit and chat privately. "Should we have a seat at the bar?"

"We could, but I would really like to change. Do you mind coming up with me? We can just talk in the room. It's probably more comfortable anyway."

"Is this about the wild boy?"

"Isn't it always?"

Laughing, Henry pushed the call button for the elevator. Their son was truly something else. One day he would surely take over the world; Henry could see that coming from the day he was born. To say Ivan was Henry's pride and joy would be a massive understatement. He lived for their son. This weekend having Ivan, and Nell, in Jersey had been fantastic. A short glimpse of what life could have been. The ding of the elevator brought Henry back from his brief fantasy.

He and Nell had split up several years ago, there wasn't much chance she would feel the same as he did. Lost in the thoughts of happy little family. Allowing Nell to step onto the elevator first, Henry stood silently with his hands clasped in front of him.

“So, Ivan has been doing well in school?” He may as well get this under way.

“Define doing well,” Nell snickered. “I get a call nearly every day from his teacher. The woman is impossible, but knowing our son, he isn't making it easy for her.”

“I was like that in school. Right up until the day I left.” Henry shrugged. The elevator gently bumping to a stop, he stepped forward to hold the door for Nell.

Muttering a thank you, Nell dug for her key card, leading the way down the hall. She loved this hotel, it was the only one she stayed in, if she could help it, while visiting the Island. A great view of the water on one side, the other dazzling with a fantastic look out into the city. The first time she'd ever been to Jersey, she had stayed in the hotel and fell in love with the charm. There were days when that felt like a life time ago.

Opening the door, Nell paused to allow Henry in. “Have a seat. Anywhere you'd like. Sorry it's kind of a mess. I'm going to change.”

The hotel room was anything but a mess, minus the few sketch books that Nell had dropped on the bed. Always working. Henry took a seat on the edge of the king sized bed, casually glancing at the colour coded notes and designs that Nell had in one of the open sketch books. Costumes. A few notes detailed leather armor and Viking era clothing. She'd done well for herself, since he'd met her. The same shy costume apprentice hiding out on set of The Tudors, was now helping drive forward the details of Vikings.

In the bathroom, Nell pulled off her dress. The fabric had became clingy after a while and she needed to be more relaxed. Running shorts and a tshirt would do the trick. Sighing at her reflection, she bit her bottom lip glancing down at her top. The worn coral Nike tshirt was her favourite, it was showing the love and wear in a few spots. Perhaps she should have picked something less frumpy? She was a busy, single mom she didn't have to look the part. Ah fuck, who cared. Henry certainly wouldn't.

He was here to discuss their son, not flirt with her until she gave in to that smile. Or got lost in his eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes – the left with the flecks of brown. His charm alone was enough to make anyone weak in the knees. Damn it, she needed to get over it. He had moved on. She needed to do the same.

Blowing out a breath, Nell reached for the door, pausing when she heard Henry talking. His tone told her that he was speaking to Ivan. Quietly slipping out of the bathroom, she smiled.

“Hold on, just a sec.” He pushed the screen of his phone, allowing the speaker to connect. “Alright, wild boy. Say goodnight to your mum.”

“Mum, momma, mum.” Ivan's voice filled the room. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Ivan. Are you being a good boy?”

“Uh huh. I love you. Good night.”

“Good night, wild boy. I love you.”

“Night dad.”

“Good night, I love you. I'm going to be back soon, you go to bed and I will see you first thing in the morning.”

“Okay. Oh, dad, can Kal sleep in my room tonight?” Ivan was fond of the large black and white American Akita. Henry laughed.

“Of course he can. You and Kal go to bed, now.”

“Okay, bye.” A little too quickly, Ivan hung up the phone. Henry laughed at the eagerness, he would talk to his mother when he got back to the house. Making sure that Ivan and his dog had gone to bed as they were told, with no fuss.

"Can you believe he is growing this fast? My god where has that time gone?" Henry rubbed his hands against his face. His mustache and subtle stubble scratching his palms.

"Time is a cruel mistress." Rubbing her hands on her shorts, Nell stood. "Drink? I have a bottle of Johnnie Walker."

"Of course you do." Smirking, Henry shifted on the side of the bed. “I had a look at some of these designs, by the way. They're magnificent. My god, Nell, you are so talented.”

“You're saying that to be nice,”

Shaking his head, Henry accepted the glass, resting it on his knee. “No, I am saying it because its true. You are one of the most talented costumers that I had ever met. Are you enjoying the job?”

“I love it.” Nell smiled, leaning against the large wooden desk in the corner. “The work is great, the people are amazing, and Ivan is really enjoying it. I'm glad we went.”

“Good, that's good. He talks about it, a lot. He really seems to love being there. I'm glad. Once things settle, I am going to try and come visit. I kind of miss it, Dublin.”

“You should.” She smiled fighting the urge to scoff and roll her eyes. Henry was always busy. He'd make it to Dublin, when Hell froze over. “So, how is work coming on this new character.”

“I can't say much, but I can say that I will be happy when I can shave.” He rubbed the mustache expertly. “It's not as bad as some of the beards that I've had to grow, but it's not my favourite look.”

“You look good with a beard. I know you hate them, but you do.”

Leaning forward to set his glass on the bedside table, Henry licked the whiskey off of his lips. “I'm glad to have that compliment.”

“Sure.” Nell nodded, tipping her glass to finish the drink. “Another?”

“Uh, I'm good.” Henry motioned to his glass. Rubbing his hands across his jeans, he furrowed his brow. “I've been thinking, since I am fairly busy the next few months, what if I keep Ivan for a few extra days? Once you leave, I will take him back to London with me, until I have to go.”

Shifting on the bed, her face warm from the second glass of whiskey, Nell sniffled and cleared her throat. “What about school?”

“What about it? He isn't going to miss much, is he? They're nearly finished up and I don't know how long it will be, until I see him. Possibly not until Christmas.”

All he wanted was to spend a little time with his son, was that so hard? His next move would have to be calculated, Nell had been known to stat arguments over less. If Henry wanted to avoid a shouting match, he would have to go about this carefully. Reaching for his glass, he downed the remaining contents in one large gulp. Sighing.

“I want to hang out with him a little. It wouldn't be more than three days extra. Then you get some time alone, as well. Nell, I know that you need a bit of a break. You work so hard and take care of Ivan, please.”

“If you want to, then I suppose I can't really say no. What kind of mother would I be, if I didn't let you see him?”

“Don't say things like that, please.” Henry reached out, his hand taking hers. Gently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. “You are a wonderful mum. You know that.”

“Sometimes, I feel like I could do better. I really do.” Nell shrugged, allowing Henry to continue holding her hand.

“All parents feel that way, I am sure. I know that I feel like that, all the time. I guess it's natural, always wanting to do better, to be better, for our children.”

There he went again. There were times when Nell could not stand to be near him, other times she wanted to be as close as possible. Damn it. Watching him talk about Ivan and the few extras days they would be together, Henry's eyes lit up. His smile broad and the enthusiasm in his voice was one that dictated proud father. Nell nodded, only because she felt it was appropriate to the conversation.

Henry continued to chatter about how he wanted to take Ivan to a new exhibit at the Natural History Museum, in London. Leave it to the father and son, finding a day at the museum to be high on the list of fun. Nell sighed, continuing to half listen, half gaze at Henry in awe. One thing she loved – well love could be a strong word – adored? Enjoyed? About Henry was how much he loved Ivan.

Mid sentence about some Sir David Attenborough documentary that he'd watched with Ivan; Nell couldn't help it any longer. Leaning in, without warning, she grabbed Henry's face turning it to her and kissing him. Lips connecting, she stopped and jumped back as if hit by an electric shock.

Clearing his throat, Henry rubbed the back of his neck, but not pulling back. “I didn't know that the National Geographic was that exciting.”

“I'm sorry.” Hiding her face in her hands, Nell shook her head. Oh that had been a mistake. She had absolutely no right. None. Henry was crazy, if he didn't get up right now and walk out. If he was angry, then she deserved that.

Blushing, Nell shook her head. “Henry, I shouldn't have.”

“I'm certainly not going to complain.” He shrugged, leaning in his arm sliding around her shoulder. Nell glanced up, getting the nerves to look at him. Oh she had fucked up. “Next time, I would like some warning though.”

“Warning? Next time?”

“Hmm, yes. Kind of like this, close your eyes.” Henry instructed pulling her closer and kissing her. Nell sighed her body melting against him. She loved the way his lips felt on hers. Soft, with a slight force.

Straddling his waist, her arms wrapped around his neck, Nell's fingers laced together. Her lips leaving his, tracing along his jaw, nearing the sweet spot below his ear. A slight nip and he was an unraveling mess. Henry nuzzled his face into her hair, she smelled amazing. Comforting and warm. A groan erupted from deep in his throat, as predicted she had gone straight for that spot.

“Nell, Nell,” Henry cleared his throat, holding her at arm's length, “Janelle, stop.” Looking for any sort of sign that she truly felt that this wasn't a good idea, he sucked in a breath. “Are you sure about this? Because if we continue, I won't stop until...”

“I am.” She nodded firmly, “I don't want you to stop. I don't want to stop. Oh god, Henry. Please.”

“I need to know that you truly, absolutely want to do this.”

“If you don't stop talking and bend me over, I am going to kick you out and do this myself. Please, stop talking. If I didn't want this, I wouldn't have started it.”

A deep rumbling laugh followed, Henry rolled his eyes. God, she was something else. Who was he to deny a gorgeous woman what she wanted? Would this come back to haunt him? Probably. Did he care? Not much. Come morning they would once again go their separate ways, but that didn't matter right now. Right now, he could pretend that he had everything he wanted. And what he wanted was her.

Pulling her to him, Henry kissed her hard. Nell moaned, the force of the kiss was nearly dizzying. Arms around his neck, she rubbed her body against his, trying to grasp the friction that was created when she started to grind herself against his thighs.

“Henry,”

“Hold on, you need patience.” He brushed a bit of hair out of her face, “all in good time.”

Nell squealed when he stood, her legs desperately scrambling to hold onto him. In a futile attempt she huffed, when he let her go, standing in front of him pouting. Unbuttoning his shirt, Henry smirked giving her a heated stare. “Well, are you going to get on the bed or make me do all the work? Shorts off.”

Sliding the mesh shorts down her ass and along her legs, Nell made a bit of a show letting them pool at her feet. Stepping out, as slowly as possible, while lifting the old tshirt from her body. Allowing it to go where it would, as she dropped it. Sitting back on the bed, she could feel her heart in her throat and her stomach where her heart should be.

“Lie back.” Henry instructed, kneeling at the edge of the bed. Arms around her thighs, guiding her to him, he studied her for a moment. She was trembling as his fingers slid across her thighs, positioning her in just the right way.

“Oh god, Hen-Henry.” Nell's mouth was suddenly dry and her voice hoarse. His hot breath between her legs was tormenting her, in unimaginable ways. In anticipation she bucked her hips forward, trying to clench her thighs. Holding her knees with his shoulders, Henry chuckled.

“Eager.”

“Please.”

“You are...” He lingered, kissing the inside of her leg. “Gorgeous. Look at you.” He brushed his thumb against her. Nell whimpered trying to push further. “Hold on, hold on.”

“Why are you teasing me?”

“Because I want to enjoy the view, for a moment.” He shrugged, her legs lifting gently. A hand on her lower abdomen, as if holding her in place, he used the other to gently tease and trace along her calf. Without warning, his lips attached to the most sensitive part of her body with his mustache adding an extra sensation, Nell bucked her hips hard, shoving his face further between her thighs.

Nell's head was swimming, it had been a while since she'd felt this good from such an act. Sure, she'd had the odd date here and there, semi-serious relationships, but nobody could do this the way Henry could. He was a fucking magician, she was certain of it. Humming against her mound, Henry couldn't hide the laughter in his eyes, when she began to squirm and wiggle against his face. She was desperate and he was going to prolong this as much as he could.

Sucking her clit, his tongue generously lapping at her, he thoroughly enjoyed the show. Pushing his head as far down as she could, Nell was nearly in tears each time he leaned in, his mustache tickling in just the right way. Oh god, she gasped trying hard to find release. Henry was cunning, backing off at the right moments.

“Henry,” She whined, threading her fingers through his hair. “Don't tease me, I really need you to finish.”

“Stop being so impatient.” He was teasingly stern. Pushing her hands away, he locked his fingers with hers, holding them at her side. Lifting his head, he smirked, kissing up her body ending with another dizzying kiss. Nell sucked on his tongue, freeing her hands from his, she tugged him closer, pulling at fistfuls of hair.

Cleaning herself from his tongue and lips, she sighed. “I'm going to need more than that.”

“You're sure?” Henry paused, holding his weight on his forearms, resting above her. His jeans still on, he could feel the strain against the denim.

“Jeans, off.” She demanded, sitting up to watch. Shivering against the slight chill, her breasts on display giving him the perfect view of her erect nipples. Nell blushed under his gaze. She was not the tight, toned, and perky body she once was. She wasn't out of shape, by any means, but compared to Henry...

“You are gorgeous.” Henry complimented, his jeans on the floor, boxers being pushed down to join them. Stepping out of his pants, he stood at the side of the bed, in all his glory.

Nell licked her lips, reaching out to take him in her hand. Hissing under her touch, Henry involuntarily bucked his hips forward into her hand. Rubbing the head, Nell intently watched Henry while she leaned in taking him fully in her mouth.

“Fuck, Nelly.”

“Hmm,” She hummed, sliding her head back along his length. Hand wrapped around him, stroking in place of her mouth. Bobbing her head back down, she swirled her tongue around the base. He nearly choked her the first time she'd ever gone down on him. Oh how long ago that felt.

Dragging her tongue against his length, she felt her core tighten, with each moan Henry gave. His slight salty taste mixed with the aftertaste of the Johnnie Walker, Nell inhaled deeply through her nose, hollowing her cheeks around him. Gripping the back of her head, Henry tried to not force her too hard, as he began to guide her movement.

Happy to go along with what he needed to feel good, Nell allowed him control over her guidance. Her finger nails grazing the back of his thighs, she mentally checked the small victory when he threw his hips forward at the sensation of her wrapped around him and her nails on his skin.

“Good girl,” Henry mumbled, his head lulling back, his chest rising rapidly. “Keep it up, just like that. Oh shit,”

Nell's chest swelled a little, she could still make him feel good, even after all of this time apart. That was not something she would take lightly, even if this shouldn't be happening. Oh fuck, who cared? They were two consenting adults. Henry's legs quivered, his hands unsteady stroking the back of her head.

“Nell,”

“Hmm?” She glanced up at him. His face soft and his jaw slack, she could feel him tightening. The perfect time to stop her actions. “Not yet,” She smirked, wiping her hand across her chin, drool gone. “Fair is fair.”

“Jesus,” Henry grumbled. He had been so fucking close, the knot in the pit of his stomach clenched Slowing his breathing, he took a moment to think of anything else. Laundry? Running? How much longer until he had to renew his passport?

“Henry?”

“Yeah?” He snapped his head to look at Nell.

“Are we going to stand here all night, or...” She shrugged, a devious smirk on her face. Laying back on the bed, she curled her finger beckoning him to her.

“You're still sure about this?” Henry asked. His eyes on her, waiting to see if she had any hint of doubt or hesitation.

“I don't have a condom, but I'm clean. It's not like I'm getting pregnant, so....” If she were to get pregnant, there was going to be on hell of a hefty lawsuit against that surgeon.

“You're sure? I know that I'm...but I don't have.”

“if you don't want to, then I understand.”

“I do, though, but...”

Nell shook her head. “No buts. If you want me, then I'm yours.”

“Fuck, you're making this hard.”

Giggling, Nell glance down. “I think we're beyond things being hard.”

His body betraying him, Henry cleared his throat, she certainly had a point. Fuck it. What did they have to lose? Unless this, some how, came back to bite them. No, no he had to stop that. Give in, enjoy what was happening. It had been too long since he'd been able to watch her in such bliss. Bliss that he was responsible for.

“You're sure?”

Nell nodded siting up, opening her arms, “Come here.”

On the edge of the bed, Henry sighed, his large frame leaning into her. Nell held him for a moment, stroking his hair, the feel of his warmth against her sent shivers through her spine. Pushing him back on the bed, she bit her bottom lip, waiting for the go ahead. Henry gave her a slight nod, adjusting himself on the bed to get comfortable. Straddling his hips, Nell lifted herself to slowly take him.

Sheathing him inch by inch, Nell groaned at the fullness. This was her favourite part, taking him to the end, feeling him stretch her. Rocking her hips forward, she countered the motion sliding them back in the same tantalizing pace. Henry held her hips, pushing his up to meet her. Nell squeaked and giggled. She loved the way he hit all the right spots.

“You can touch me, don't be shy.” Nell winked, lifting her arms and crossing them above her head, allowing him a full view of her breasts. “Go on.” She encouraged.

His large hands cupping her breasts, Henry softly rolled her hardening nipples between his fingers, giving on a slight flick when she moved herself up on his length. Close to letting him slide out, she moved back down, her ass grinding against him.

The way her body moved against his was mesmerizing. Massaging her supple skin, from her breasts down her sides, one hand settling on her ass and the other on her hip. Henry loved the shape, even if she had changed a little since having Ivan. God she was stunning.

Hastening her pace, Nell rocked back and forth, up and down. Henry closed his eyes feeling every bit of movement, each clench. Taking in the sounds of her breathing, mixed with his, her small moans not going unnoticed.

“Henry,” She whispered, biting her bottom lip, leaning forward to touch her lips against his. “Please,”

Without having to be asked twice, he moved swiftly, turning them over to pin her beneath him. Nell sighed and stretched her arms over her head, the pull of her muscles caused another shiver. Her head now against the pillow, she reached, tracing the lines of his face with her fingertip.

“I don't know that I can be as slow as you were.” Henry nipped her finger. Holding back on his desire to pound her into the bed.

“Then don't.” Nell batted her eye lashes at him.

Somehow that was all he needed, that tiny bit of permission. Picking up the pace, Henry grunted. Nell moaned drawing her knees upward, allowing him an even better vantage to this position. As if the pent up emotions from the last few years, hours, minutes had been released the couple were lost in the sensation of skin on skin. The feeling of sparks and electricity coursing through them. Connecting them.

“Fuck, Janelle.” Henry hissed, his arm locked into position on either side of her head, keeping him from tumbling on top of her.

“Henry,” She squealed splaying her hands against his chest, tugging at the soft hairs. “Oh god. Please, don't stop. My god, oh fuck.”

“You are fucking amazing. Fuck, look at you.” Kissing her roughly, he sighed, steadying his pace. His hips slapping hers, Nell shook slightly her soft sobs of pleasure were enough to send him to an end.

Shaking with pleasure, Nell gasped trying to bring herself down from the high. Henry moaned, his head back and chest heaving. It had been a while since he had felt that good. Nell laid with her legs hooked around his thighs, no desire to move. Collapsing with his head on her chest, Henry allowed his body to rest. Sweaty and sticky, they laid tangled together. Neither one wanting to break the feeling.

Dosing in and out, Nell was the first to move. Her body growing heavy with Henry still on top of her. She needed to move, before seizing up. Pushing his head to the side, she giggled and kissed the tip of her nose when he lazily looked up.

“I need to pee,”

“Hmph.” Henry nodded, slowly rolling over. Allowing her to escape. Laying flat on the bed, while she scurried off to the bathroom, Henry pushed himself up off of the bed. He should be getting back to his parents, back to Ivan.

All thoughts of moving were squashed, when Nell came back, climbing in beside him. Her clothes still on the floor. Her body was comforting against his. “Hi,” she whispered, sliding in under his arm.

“Nell?” Henry laid with his arm around her shoulder.

“Huh?” Nell grunted, her face buried in his chest.

“I should head back.”

“If you want to. You can stay, I don't mind.” Nell yawned. Her eyes closing.

“Okay, but only for a little while.” Henry agreed, closing his eyes. In a few minutes, he would get up, shower, and head back.

With a start, Henry woke, a loud banging noise rattling him. Looking around the dark room, he squinted to find the source of the noise. Hearing someone whispering at a distance, Henry laid in bed, listening. Against him, Nell stirred, but didn't wake. Someone in the hall was talking, no doubt they had been the source of the banging. He had fell asleep, Nell wrapped against him.

Looking at his watch, Henry frowned. 4am. If he left right now, he could be back before anybody woke. If he left now, he risked Kal barking and waking the house. If he waited, he would risk walking in and having to explain himself to one or more person. Of course he could tell them that he'd ran into some old friends, had some drinks and stayed on a sofa somewhere. Too drunk to drive.

Shifting in bed, Nell sighed, her arm around his waist she snuggled in closer. She was content, who was Henry to try and disturb her sleep? He would wait an hour or two, before he made his departure. So what if he waltzed in, being faced by one of his brothers, or even his mother. He was an adult, if he wanted to stay out all night enjoying the company of a fantastic woman, then he would do just that.

Kissing the top of Nell's head, Henry smiled, sinking down further into the covers, closing his eyes.

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djarrex · 3 years

Text

Countermeasures || 6

Conspiracy

Fives x ofc!reader

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Rating: 18+ only

Word Count: 6.4k

Warnings: unprotected piv, oral (fem receiving), fluff, mention of stress-induced throwing up, aftercare, angst, feelings

chapter summary: You and Fives head to Coruscant to meet with the Chancellor in order to find some answers, but things don’t go exactly as planned.

note: tbh this chapter if half filth. Sorry posting it took longer than the others and if some things look weird - I got tired of rereading this - I hope it’s okay BUT I am already in the process of jotting things down for the next chapter. I’ll let y’all in on a lil somethin’.... I’m planning on making chapter 7 completely from Fives’ POV.

***

From where you were able to watch the dark nothingness littered with glowing stars outside of the tiny viewport, you saw the planet you’d come to call home slowly approach as the ship exited hyperspace. The white clouds swirled over most of the surface as seen from space, yet the distinctive glow of major cities and routes shined brighter than any nearby stars; the bright lights connected each spherical pattern by distinct lines of light, marking the major highways and transport lanes.

Coruscant.

You were home, though you were not arriving in a way you could have ever imagined.

You were to accompany Nala Se, Master Shaak Ti, and Fives to the Senate Complex to meet with Chancellor Palpatine - and hopefully get some answers. Who in the hells would have ever thought you’d be meeting the Chancellor? If only your parents could see you now. They’d be... proud? Under such strange circumstances, you weren’t even sure what you were feeling about it all.

Accomplishment? Was that what you were feeling? Certainly not success, nor defeat, since this wasn’t over yet.

Perhaps accomplishment was an appropriate feeling, solely for the fact that you and Fives had gotten through to somebody - now you were to meet with the fucking Supreme Chancellor.

Fives was knocked out during the journey - given a sedative as a precautionary measure - against your wishes, and was kept isolated. Maybe it was because Fives had a blaster trained on an unarmed Kaminoan… still, it upset you. He wasn’t going to actually harm Nala Se. You’d only known Fives for a week, but you know he would never hurt someone unarmed and innocent - though you both wouldn't exactly consider Nala Se as innocent after what took place back on Kamino.

The journey was extremely long - 120 hours, to be almost exact. At least you were finally able to catch up on some sleep, even if it was on the hard bunks within the small ship’s sleeping quarters. Though you were upset Fives wasn’t conscious during the journey, you were somewhat glad he was getting rest, forced by sedative or otherwise.

You were eager to be with Fives again; you were still in shock - he had kissed you. Twice. The things you were feeling brought you back to the giddiness of having a crush on another boy from your settlement when he gave peck on the cheek; you were no older than ten, as was he. You can’t remember the last time you felt these things for another. Surely you didn’t feel this way for that boy when you were both only ten years-old; maybe you’d never felt this way for someone - this was all new to you.

What was to happen now - would you and Fives... be together? It sounded so silly to play those words even in the privacy of your own mind; the thought of being with a clone was something you’d never imagine even in your wildest dreams, but as you mentioned to Fives back on Kamino, he’d changed your views on the clones entirely. Fives was so full of compassion, emotion, ferocity when necessary. He was intelligent and cunning, caring and funny. The way he was with you, so careful and sincere - you’d completely fallen for that man; it was no longer a simple crush nor rush of lust.

The thought of “being together” in a traditional sense sounded... nice. It seemed to be impossible; you knew better than most that the clones were designed to keep the mission in the forefront of their minds and everything else would be clouded out, but your time working with Fives gave you new insight that the clones were capable of a lot more than anyone - especially the masters of their creation - would’ve ever thought. Maybe it was possible.

The transport that had come up to bring you to the surface touched down at the hangar and you hurried to exit, eager to be reunited with Fives after the boring journey. Walking down the ramp and looking around at the other transport, there was no sign of Fives. You did see the conniving long-neck speaking with a couple troopers with painted red armor, nodding to her words before heading off and away from the ships. Deciding to confront her, you stepped cautiously towards Nala Se, keeping yourself aware of your surroundings while scanning the area in hopes to catch a glimpse of the man you’d fallen hard for.

Nala Se turned to face you, not so much as a smile made its way to her stoic face.

“Where is he, where’s Fives?” You stepped closer, your head tilting back and meeting her eyes from below. Trying to keep your cool was difficult; your accusatory tone towards her made her imaginary brows raise.

“He is still sedated. I had him escorted to the Chancellor’s office.” Her tone was calm, unfazed, nonchalant - obviously not too worried about entertaining your worry for Fives.

“Alright. So, I’ll follow you then?” You looked around towards where the troopers from before were heading, but to your dismay, the long-neck shook her head.

“Chancellor Palpatine did not request for you, Miss Renna. He only wishes to speak with trooper Fives.”

...what the fuck?

To seven hells with keeping your cool. This was totally not was discussed back on Kamino. A mixture of anger and confusion soared through you; tears threatened to form at the corners of your eyes. No way are you crying out of frustration in front of Dr. Nala Se.

“But I thought-” She held up her three fingers in front of you, halting your impending argument.

“I am afraid that was the Chancellor’s request.”

Without another word or opportunity for you to argue, Nala Se turned on her heels and left you alone and on the brink of a fucking meltdown.

There was no arguing with her and especially not with the Chancellor, but it was still strange. Where was Master Shaak Ti? She’d be able to help you out, right? Why would the Chancellor not want to meet with you - you, the one who was by Fives’ side throughout the entire investigation, the one who has actual medical knowledge and training? You had a bad feeling about it all.

What were you supposed to do now? You obviously couldn’t arrive unannounced at the Senate building, let alone the Chancellor’s office.

What of Fives? He’d probably freak out when he wakes up and you’re not there by his side. The last thing he knew before being put under was that you’d be going with him to meet the Chancellor. So, what? He’s going to wake up and point another fucking blaster at someone? You wouldn’t doubt it - this entire situation has got him completely on edge. Fives was hurt, confused, and felt betrayed, to say the least. He trusted the Jedi - that was something engrained in him from before he’d ever held a blaster - and was literally engineered to serve under them in this Maker forsaken war.

Something didn’t sit right with you, though, and that’s not including how you weren’t requested to be present in front of the Chancellor. What doesn’t sit right with you is that you were still... employed (in a sense) and weren’t dismissed when Nala Se had confronted you in the Embryo Room. Instead, you were allowed to come back to Coruscant along with your employer, and not as a consequence of dismissal.

You didn’t want to go back to Kamino, though. Maybe it would be best to go back to the academy and explain the situation to your advisors, though you weren’t entirely sure how to even begin to explain this mess to anyone who wasn’t already aware of what was going on.

If you didn’t return to Kamino, would that mean you were quitting? What if you spoke to your academic advisors first, asking for a transfer of internship? What if Nala is planning on dismissing you, just waiting until this was over with, does that mean you’d fail at the academy and not be placed any where else to finish up your training?

After what you’ve seen and what you’ve actually uncovered, you knew going back to Kamino was an absolute fuck no. If that meant you never becoming a doctor, then so be it.

Everything happens for a reason.

All there was to do was wait it out - see what happens with Fives’ meeting with the Chancellor.

Ultimately deciding to wait outside for him after his meeting, you started the trek to the complex in the footsteps of the troopers and Nala Se. When you got there, it was quiet; you expected the hustle and bustle of tourists or political figures, but there was no one - save for the expected Coruscant guards walking the perimeter with blasters in hand. It was just you, sitting alone and filled with worry on a long and wide staircase that led up to the grand entrance of the Senate Building.

***

Hours.

It had been hours since you’d first parked your ass outside the Senate Building. The sun was starting to set behind the enormous structure; the sky resembled fire with the stripes of yellows and oranges blending together, the flecks of purples and pinks littered the sky complementarily while the lines of speeders zooming along off in the distance became silhouettes.

You hadn’t seen a Coruscant sunset in over six months - it was what you missed the most while away on that stormy planet, where you'd never seen not one sunset.

You’d never forget your first night on Coruscant, a week before your first days at the medical academy. You were nervous and afraid, unsure of the crowded streets and the trillions of others walking or hovering among them - your first time surrounded by extremely unfamiliar faces and unaccompanied by your family. You came from such a small and poor settlement, where everyone knew each other and their ancestors - where you were comfortable, yet longed for more.

You’d bumped into what seemed like hundreds of passersby while navigating to your new apartment, located in a high rise just off the academy’s perimeter. The inside was complete with furnishings and decor that quite honestly wasn’t your taste, but the kitchen was huge and came with appliances you never thought you’d ever use in your lifetime - a stark contrast to the communal fire pit and dwindling supply of pots and pans from where you grew up.

Speaking of kitchen - you were starving.

Hungry and worried - the two most prominent feelings of late.

***

Back at your apartment you cooked dinner, sitting on the balcony while attempting to sooth your frustration and worry while spooning mouthfuls of your mother’s recipe for your favorite soup. It was getting late. You had no way to contact Fives, no way to contact anyone other than Nala Se.

She wasn’t the best option of contact, though she would be able to inform you of how the meeting went - lying about details or not, you just wanted to know if Fives was okay, even if the Chancellor didn’t take his side about the chips.

Those fucking inhibitor chips.

You hadn’t forgotten how Nala Se tried to cover it all up, rather than just explaining what they were from the get-go. If it really was something as simple as “making them less aggressive because their original donor was a crazy aggressive bounty hunter” then there should be no reason why you wouldn’t even know about the chips, or why you never saw anything about the chips in any files.

It appeared that you and Fives had unknowingly uncovered a conspiracy - a conspiracy that needed to stay undiscovered so badly that the Kaminoan in charge of the clones’ design was ready to recondition then kill any one clone that caught of whiff of anything remotely close to it.

Fives. Fives caught a whiff of something extremely close to it.

There had to be a reason why you weren’t welcome at that meeting.

Surely Nala Se could have been lying right to your face, as she’s done before, but what if the Chancellor really didn’t want or need to speak with you, or hear what you had to say about the chips in a medical sense?

Why was Nala Se so fucking adamant about sending all data on the chip - including the chips themselves and the clones it came from - straight to the Chancellor, protesting any mention of detours along the way? Why would it matter if Tup or his chip made a pitstop at the Jedi Temple for the Jedi to do their... Jedi stuff on him before reaching Nala Se’s voiced desired destination?

Weird. All of it... just fucking weird.

Now your stomach was turning; soup came up in your throat faster than you could register what was happening. It burned on the way out; hot soup spewed from your mouth with such force that the wall across from you was consequently covered in the contents of your stomach. Something you hadn’t done in a long time - vomiting out of pure anxiety and stress - happened quicker than you had time to realize how fucking bad the negative emotions stemming from the situation were affecting you.

You could just feel it - Fives was in danger. Though you didn’t know exactly what kind of danger or who at the hands of, that feeling was screaming at you.

Scared. Worried. Stressed. Angry. Upset and sobbing, because you’d just spewed fucking soup all over your wall.

Take a shower. Put on clean clothes. Get some fucking sleep. Check in with everything in the morning.

You repeated your own instructions both silently in your head and out loud to yourself as you finished cleaning up your disgusting stress-induced habit.

***

Knock knock knock.

You shot up from from the couch, already awake because you were just not able to shut your damn eyes.

“F- Fives?” His name croaked out of your sore throat; the possibility that Fives was at your door was just slim to none. Though, who else would it be?

“Renna...” Your name came from the other side of the door; the familiar voice sent... something shooting from your ears and straight to your toes.

Fives.

You don’t recall making the short journey to your door from the couch, but in a flash you were there, opening the door to be greeted by the man you’d just indirectly vomited because of.

He just stood there right outside your door; the dim light filtering in from the halls casted him as a silhouette, but you were able to make out how was still in that armor he had commandeered (well, just plain stole) back on Kamino and how he had a dark and dazed look in his golden eyes. It was difficult to read his face; normally Fives was quite expressive, but at that moment, there was nothing.

He slowly stepped forward, making you retreat a few steps. His unreadable expression changed as the light hit his face - it was one you’d never seen on him before.

Anger - that’s what you were feeling - along with worry, exhaustion, confusion - all towards this entire fucked up situation and being directed right at Fives before you could stop it.

“Where the fuck have you been-”

“I need you,” he growled, right before slamming his lips onto yours.

Not able to hold in the simultaneous gasp and moan that escaped your throat, Fives shut the door as you allowed him to push you back further into your apartment all while his lips remained locked with yours - hungry and wanting. Fives was devouring you, to put in plainly; he kissed you like it would be his last opportunity to. You didn’t realize Fives had been backing you up and up until your back slammed into a wall with a load thud, but he didn’t let up the kiss, no - in fact, the kiss deepened since you no longer had any more room to back up, firmly pressed against a hard surface while being caged in completely by Fives’ sturdy body. Desperate hands roamed your form, grabbing the meatier parts of you and offering a gentle squeeze.

You brain was jelly... what were you mad about again, among other things? Oh right... everything.

“F- Fives!” You snapped your head to the side, effectively breaking the kiss. “You wanna tell me what the fuck is going on? Maker, I was worried sick!” Literally sick. Like, literally.

“I- please... need you first. Please, Ren. I need you.” He tugged at your top with pleading and hungry eyes, silently asking for permission to take it off. You bit your lip, contemplating if this is how you wanted things to finally happen between the two of you. Fuck it. You wanted him - needed him.

Staring up at him under long lashes with your bottom lip caught in your teeth, you nodded. “Okay.” With no time wasted, your top was pulled off and thrown somewhere out of sight. His lips returned to yours, messy and warm. As your tongues swirled one another, Fives’ hands continued to grab at the newly exposed skin, palming your breasts underneath your sorry excuse for a bra, sending you into a frenzy. This was the most Fives’ had ever touched you - and it brought you back to those first couple of nights upon meeting him for the first time, when you imagined what his touch would feel like as you pleasured yourself. Coming back to the present, the warmth you felt in your face traveled further down, settling in your lower stomach. Your head tilted to the side and Fives broke from your lips to move south, kissing and sucking down your chin to your neck to your collarbone.

“F- fuck.” You nearly melted into a puddle when Fives’ hands found the clasp of your bra, tearing it off and tossing it to the side without his lips breaking contact from your skin.

Fives definitely wasn’t new to these activities.

“You smell so good, Ren,” He breathed against the curve of your shoulder just above your collarbone, nipping the skin there with a groan. All you could do was stand there like a noodle, whimpering while letting his strong arms hold you upright as he mouthed at your skin, the warmth coming from his nose and mouth sending shockwaves to the more sensitive parts of your body. Fives ventured back up to your mouth, placing sloppy and wet kisses along your bottom lip.

That thing that drives you absolutely crazy was done unknowingly by Fives again, causing you to moan loudly into his mouth - the vibrations making your shudder.

“That’s the second time you’ve done that when I do this,” Fives repeated the motion, chuckling against your lips when you let out another moan. “I guess you like it when I do that, huh beautiful?” Your eyes were clamped shut as you nodded to the best of your ability. Fives brought his hands up to grab your face, holding you steady in his large palms. “I need you, Renna.” Fives repeated himself, going back in for another hungry kiss. You broke away this time, placing your hands over his while still holding your face.

“Have me, Fives.”

He made a grunt akin to a growl before hoisting you up; strong hands grabbed your ass from underneath and your legs quickly wrapped around his waist as he smashed his lips back onto yours. You couldn’t help the whimpers that came from your throat as his stiffening cock rubbed against your aching core. Fives’ grip on your ass became rougher as he kneaded the plush skin through your sleep bottoms. You allowed your hands to roam around his shoulders and head, enjoying the feeling of the freshly buzzed hair as it pricked your fingers.

Desperate kisses and touches - that’s what it all was, and for a few minutes before your mouths detached, staring into each others eyes while catching your breaths.

“I’ve wanted this for so long...” Fives admission made you blush, and he definitely noticed. Tucking loose hair behind your ear, he smiled. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Renna. I’ve been to countless systems, moons, planets - nothing and no one on or within any of them could ever compare to you.”

You couldn’t stop the tear falling from your eye before Fives caught it, gently wiping it away with his thumb.

“No, sweet girl. I don’t want you crying over things I say,” He placed a quick kiss on your cheek where the tear fell, “I want you crying over how good I’m gonna make you feel when I finally fuck you.” You didn’t have time to react before Fives swung around and quickly moved to your bed, throwing you down on top of it. He stood at the edge of the bed, extremely intimidating at the angle you were looking at him from as he donned a full set of armor, sans helmet.

You squirmed underneath his gaze, feeling all too exposed with your top half completely bare while he stood there fully clothed and the some. As if he could read your mind, Fives started peeling off the armor, unclasping the pieces one by one while keeping his eyes locked with yours. Your body was completely on fire.

This was finally happening.

“Ren?” Fives was just taking off the last of the plastoid and tossing the vambraces to the side, looking at you with a hungry smirk. You nodded to him with a quizzical brow raised. “Tell me how long you’ve wanted this.”

He was teasing you.

“Fives...”

“Tell me, pretty thing.”

Shit, okay.

“Ever since I first saw you, Fives. When you first arrived on Kamino, in your armor.” The way he was questioning you with such... authority - you started to feel just how wet you were getting as you rubbed your thighs together in an attempt to stimulate yourself in some way.

The way he was in that moment... yeah, you told him the truth.

Fives hummed in approval with a cocky grin stretched on his face as he ran a warm palm up and down your trembling thigh. “You liked seeing me in my armor?”

“Stars. Yes... It was my first day outside the archives yet I don’t even remember that fucking conversation because I was too distracted by you.”

What is he, a fucking wizard? He was pulling confessions from you with very little effort - your brain was fried; all that was on your mind was getting Fives to touch you where you needed him to.

“It’s a shame I won’t have an opportunity to put that armor back on again. I would have loved to fuck you while I wore it.” Both his hands trailed up your calves to your thighs to the waistband of your bottoms, threatening to take them off as he yanked at the elastic band.

The commanding and intimidating ARC trooper was the Fives you never had the pleasure of personally dealing with... until now.

“Fives, please.” You wiggled underneath his hands, hoping he knew what you wanted through your half-ass begging.

“I really want to take my time with you, but I don’t think we have the luxury of time right now... I may not be able to control myself, Ren. I need you so fucking bad, baby.” His fingers finally clamped around your waistband, yanking the material down your legs in a one rough motion. As soon as your pants were off, his fingers were rubbing against the dampening spot seeping into the thin material of your underwear. Your focus was completely on controlling how loud you were panting that you didn’t even register that the lacy torn-up material between his fingers was your fucking underwear that he’d just ripped clean off your hips.

“Fuck... did you... just-”

“I warned you, Ren.” As soon as those last words flew out of his mouth, his face was instantly buried between your legs, tongue circling your folds in a very messy fashion. Strong hands grabbed at your thighs, yanking them up and over his broad shoulders as his mouth attacked your burning cunt. The embarrassing moans coming from your throat burned your ears as he went back and forth between flicking your clit with his tongue and licking up and down your slit. You nearly choked on your own spit as a broken cry made its way from your throat when he grabbed your hips and angled you so that his tongue sunk straight into your hole.

“H- oh m- fu- fuck.” You were nearly sobbing at the way he was tongue-fucking your clenching hole; his grip on your hips was bruising and the lewd slurping sounds coming from him sucking at every inch of your pussy all led up to an insane climax. The heat in your lower stomach was unbearable and you cried out as he insert two thick fingers inside you to replace his tongue. All it took was a few thrusts of his curled digits and were coming undone; Fives worked you through your high, keeping a brutal pace with his fingers and flicking of his tongue in sync with their attack.

He pulled back to look at you, lips swollen and eyes still dark with lingering want. He looked like a fucking dream - truly, a vision. Of all the times you’d imagined Fives touching and feeling you, having him devour you the way he was at the moment was nothing you could have ever dreamt of.

“You look so beautiful.” Fives stood up from his crouching position, softly positioning your quivering legs back on the bed. You doubted that you looked at all attractive with the way you were panting like you’d just ran a marathon, loose strands of hair sticking to your face from sweat. Shaking your head with unfocused eyes, you reached your hand out to him and he took it, allowing you to pull him on top of you. His lips attacked yours once again, but more delicately this time. Feeling the hard bulge straining in his black pants rubbing against your oversensitive cunt made you moan; Fives swallowing it and volleying back with his own. He lifted his head and broke the kiss, staring right into your heavy eyes.

“I want this... so badly,” he confessed, seeming just a little too shy for the way he just made you see the fucking Maker with his fingers and tongue. You couldn’t contain the giggle that made it past your lips as you reached down to palm at his clothed member.

“Take these off,” you cooed, attempting to wiggle his pants off his hips with just one hand.

Once Fives was completely bare, he leaned back over you, resting on his forearms that sat on either side of your head. You lifted your head slightly for another kiss as he grabbed himself to line up with your burning entrance. Your head fell right back down once the bulbous head of his perfect cock breached you; a mumbled curse fell from your lips as he slowly rolled his hips against yours.

“You’re so beautiful, Ren... so tight, so warm.” Your eyes nearly rolled into your skull as he inched all the way inside of you, pausing for a moment so as to get adjusted to one another. Your eyes locked with Fives’ as he started moving; the roll of his hips slow and deliberate as he hit the deepest part inside you over and over again. The eye contact made it just all the more intimate; watching one another’s reaction to the exquisite feeling of being this close to each other was pure bliss. You watched his brows crease in concentration as that dark look in his golden eyes grew all the more prominent, and you knew he was watching the way your mouth looked as broken curses tumbled off your tongue. Your hands flew up to rest against his buzzed head, rubbing soothing circles into his scalp as he tilted his head back down to suck at your collarbone.

This was the most intimate you’d ever been with somebody, but something within you was telling you that Fives was holding back for some reason - not giving you his all - that he was capable of more.

“Fives,” you breathed out, steadily rocking against the mattress from each deep thrust, “don’t hold back, baby. Give me you.” His eyes widened, quickly followed by a grunt of approval. Only a moment later he was nearly pulled all the way out of you just to slam himself right back in, making you shriek. Gasps made it made it past your devilish smile as he picked up the pace.

“Like that?” He snapped his hip so fucking hard and deep. “You want me to fuck you hard, Ren?” Unable to form a coherent response, you mumbled something akin to a confirmation; his quick and hard thrusts sent you scooting up higher on the bed with every smack of his hips against the underside of your thighs with the slight nodding of your head. Your eyes were squeezed shut and your arm was draped over your face, stifling the moans that erupted from deep within.

Fives grabbed your arm and threw it away from your face and breathed out between grunts, “Look at me, beautiful girl. R-remember what I said before? I want to s-see you cry from how good I’m making you feel.” Not knowing it was even possible, his hips slapped against you at an even quicker pace as he leaned on one arm to grab your hip with the other. The angle he was thrusting into at made him hit deep inside - hitting the spot that had you seeing the fucking Maker themselves again.

He continued to pound you into the mattress, beads of sweat forming on his brow framing his hungry eyes. Those perfect lips were parted, allowing the deepest of grunts and groans to filter through. Between the shared noises of pleasure, the quick smacking of skin meeting skin, and the squelching coming from his cock entering and exiting your throbbing pussy - your ears were on fire and the heat burning deep within you exploded into an intense climax. With a squealed out cry, your hands flew up to his back, pressing your nails deep into his thick skin, making him groan. Tears stemming from insane pleasure formed in your eyes, dripping down past your temples and onto the sheets beneath you.

“I feel you, beautiful. Cum for me - cum all over my c- gah-” The clenching of your spasming pussy that accompanied your orgasm made Fives break off his command as he dropped his head to rest on your collarbone, his cock pulsating within you. With just another few hard but lazy thrusts, liquid warmth spurted inside you as he held himself deep within your throbbing cunt.

He was no longer holding himself up - his full weight fell right on top of you, pretty much squeezing any remaining oxygen out of your lungs but you didn’t care at that moment. The both of you stayed still for a few minutes, letting your breaths return to normal and relishing each other’s post-sex scent.

When he finally lifted himself and pulled out of you, you didn’t even register that you were still crying until he wiped away the tears with the same fingers he had inside you, still sticky with your juices. You were crying because of two things: one, Fives made you feel more pleasure than anyone had ever, and two, there was something screaming at you from the back of your mind that though this was your first time with Fives - it may be your last. You didn’t want to think about that, but the memory of Fives being inexplicably missing that entire day after a meeting you had no idea what went on in, it was the only thing you could think about.

No. Now was not the time to think about that.

Fives rested beside you, pulling you into his arms, mimicking that first time you’d shared the bed with one another. “They’re after me,” he mumbled flatly after a minute of silence, his chin jutting against the top of your head as he spoke.

“Because of the chips.” It meant to come out as a question, but you already knew the answer; this whole fucking thing was about those damn chips. Fives didn’t respond right away, instead squeezing your spent body just a little bit tighter in his arms, pressing you further into him. He inhaled deeply, letting the air softly escape from his nostrils.

“Because... I attacked the Chancellor.”

...wh- what?

“You did what?” You attempted to break out of his arms so you could look him in the eyes - to see if he was kidding, but your weak struggling was no match for his enhanced strength. Sighing in defeat, your tone softened, “What happened at that meeting, Fives?”

“Renna... I want to tell you, I just-” A beat. “I would be putting you in danger.”

Rolling your eyes even though he couldn’t see your face, you scoffed, “More so than I already am? Fives, I was part of the shit that went down on Kamino. I’m in on this.”

“But you don’t know the extent of just how high up this conspiracy goes, Ren, and it needs to stay that way.” His arms tightened. He was just being protective, you decided, but it wasn’t fair.

“Fives,” you pleaded, grasping onto his thick forearms. You murmured into the air towards the wall beside the bed, “Please tell me. I want to help you. Please.”

“I... have to go soon, Ren.” He sounded unsure - apologetic. Regretful. Nervous.

“...but I don’t think we have the luxury of time right now...”

Fives’ words replayed in your head. You didn’t think anything of it at the time, since he was just about to give you the most intense and intimate pleasure you’d ever known in your life, but it hit you. Tears started forming in your eyes again as the thoughts you had buried deep in the back of your mind made their way to the front at full force. He must’ve heard your quiet sobs as you attempted to muffle them, because in only a moment you were released then flipped to lay on your other side - facing Fives. The feeling of him wiping your tears was all too familiar - a feeling that shouldn’t be familiar, in a perfect galaxy. Would the galaxy ever be perfect?

“Wh-where will you go?” Where will he go? “You’re... a fugitive, Fives.”

“Yeah, I know,” he huffed. “They even got the Corrie Guard after me. I need to find Rex, or- or General Skywalker.”

“Find them... and then what?”

“Explain myself, if they’ll let me. I at least need to try.”

“Fives, what in Maker’s name-”

“Please, trust me. I’ll... be okay.” He broke away from your eyes, staring off at the wall behind you.

That was flat out lie, and you both knew it. You attempted to study his blank expression for a moment before his eyes flickered back to yours.

“When I find Rex I’ll tell him about your involvement. He should be able to keep you safe. I’ll- I’ll come find you after I speak with him, okay?”

“Keep me safe...” You mumbled the words under your breath in pure disbelief; Fives simply nodded in confirmation, a crease resting in between his brows as his gaze bore into yours.

“If Rex hears me out, then he’ll understand. He’s a good man... always willing to do the right thing.” It sounded as though Fives was saying that to himself rather than to you - as a reminder.

You decided to leave it at that, not having enough energy to press his stubborn self any more on the subject. Nuzzling your face into his bare chest, you inhaled deeply - a way to keep his scent in your mind for after he leaves. Fives was warm, both his physical form and his overall energy. Safe. His arms wrapped around your back, pulling you further into his comforting warmth. You were on the edge of sleep, eyelids becoming heavy and breathing deepening. You wanted to stay awake, though, to make the most of your time with Fives.

You just weren’t sure if you’d see him again after he goes.

“Just promise me-” He paused, sucking in a clump of air, “Just stay aware of your surroundings, okay? I’m not sure where you’re at with returning to Kamino... but I don’t think you should.”

“Okay,” your voice was barely audible, coming out as a faint mumble muffled against his skin.

That settled it. You would not return to Kamino.

What would you do, though? Are you quitting? What will you do if Fives-

“After I find Rex and the General... there’s no telling what’ll happen. No matter the outcome... I’m not sure what the next steps are. For once, I don’t have a plan, Ren. I’m gonna need your help, but we can talk about that when I come back to you, yeah?” He started to rub smoothing circles on your back, digging deep into your muscles while placing a kiss atop your head and squeezing you tighter. “I’m just... glad you weren’t at that meeting with the Chancellor.”

“Apparently my presence wasn’t requested by the Chancellor,” you mumbled in annoyance, that similar feeling of anger towards the long-neck bubbling up within you. Fives let out a quiet huff in reply, seemingly trying to dodge giving an appropriate response towards your resentful statement. You didn’t expect him to respond; however, you’d just realized that Fives somehow managed to find your apartment during the night, with no explicit directions given to him from you. “How... did you find me? I never told you where I lived.”

He replied with a light chuckle, “Do you not know me by now?” Offering a half-smile he pushed you away from his chest so you could meet his eyes, placing a quick kiss on your damp forehead. “I’ll always find you, Renna.”

***

tags: @deewithani @chromia7567 @threevie @letitrainathousandflames @latenightsthoughtsnstuff @thefact0rygirl @justanothersadperson93 @ohtobeamoth @bvcketfvcker @salty-sith-bitch @iwannaclonetrooper @cyaniderainfall

#djarrex writes #countermeasures series #arc trooper fives #arc trooper fives x reader #arc trooper fives x you #arc trooper fives x oc #arc trooper fives smut #fives x reader #fives x you #fives x oc #fives smut #the clone wars fic #star wars fic #the clone wars conspiracy arc #conspiracy arc

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my-darling-boy · 3 years

Text

Right sorry I have to vent about something. I didn’t really want to post this but Oh Well it’s bothering me and I hope I’m not the only one who feels like this.

What I thought was me obsessing over a little mistake I made at work was actually the tip of the iceberg to this terror I feel internally realising as I get older, I’m required by society to mask my autism more and more because they see you as an inconvenience. But now that I’ve created this Highly Socially Convenient version of myself to fit into other people’s social standards, especially in the workplace, I can no longer make mistakes without people attributing them to laziness or carelessness or “stupidity”. It’s one of the many examples of people assuming “if I can’t see something, it doesn’t exist.” I’m constantly assessed with the “but you don’t LOOK autistic!” You shouldn’t have to know I’m autistic to start treating me with more care and respect.

If a customer is having trouble with the keypad, I don’t rip the thing around and jam their card in, annoyed. If a customer can’t hear me very well, I don’t roll my eyes when I have to repeat myself. If a coworker doesn’t understand how to use a register function, I don’t sigh heavily and shove them aside to fix it. Everyone is always apologising for making mistakes with their payment options or having to run back cos they forgot something or for “taking so long” or for doing this or that. People are sweating hurriedly counting out coins and notes and apologising but you don’t need to hurry! Take your time!! My line might be long but I know when I rush counting money, I get it wrong cos I can’t focus sometimes in chaotic, loud environments.

I’m so used to apologising for things I do as an autistic person and when I see others doing the same, I say they don’t have to be sorry. The checkstands are not easily accessible to understand or operate. People are rude and rushing. We’re wearing masks so it’s harder to hear/see facial expressions. Literally none of this is person’s fault, and yet they’re apologising like the checkstand or their communication style or even the angry customers behind them are their fault. And I do the same thing. The one thing I say ALL DAY LONG is “I’m sorry.” I say it so often that half the time I’m not even sure why I’m apologising, all I know is things that are out of my control are usually pinned as “my fault” somehow so I just say I’m sorry all the time. I’m apologising, the customer is apologising, my coworker is apologising, we’re all just so sorry for having to be in a building that isn’t meant to accommodate anyone.

Most of my interactions at work involve me making sure I’m being as accommodating as I can to who I’m speaking with because rarely are people accommodating towards me and I don’t want to make others feel like they’re an inconvenience the way I’ve been made to feel like one. I know by default that something that is easy for one person may not be easy for another person. And if an allistic person cares to think about this at all, it’s so bizarre to me that they assume it means a person is careless, lazy, or irresponsible.

I work retail and talking to people is literally my job, but it’s usually not an issue so long as they fit a social script in my head. Tasks are repetitive which means I learn them fast and perform them fast. When left alone, I resort to tasks I was shown how to do: clean, collect, etc. I follow instructions, ask questions. I’m always told I’m such a “competent, responsible employee” for this, even though 80% of my motivation for doing these things are out of constant fear of hidden consequences if I don’t do exactly as I’m told. And if someone starts saying I’m their favourite closer or the fastest cashier or the most helpful employee, I only get nervous about how disappointed this person would be in me if I showed any ounce of something different if one day I had a shutdown at work.

I wouldn’t know how to tell anyone why sometimes I’m a minute late to work for a few days, or why I lost track of time doing X, why X took me so long, why suddenly I don’t make a lot of conversation, why I suddenly lose ability to multitask, or why I keep making silly little mistakes when I “seem like such a good employee who can stay on top of things.” Sometimes I genuinely don’t know if I’ve done something wrong! There are grey areas of employment and social interaction that will always confuse me no matter what. Instead of taking just a moment to explain something I did incorrectly, or just take 10 seconds to show me how to do something, people right away are predisposed to snapping at you and being rude without so much as a little explaination to help you. And if they’re going to snap at me for a small question, how could I ever bring up something more? When? How? When a customer I’m not understanding is giving me a hard time, do I give into them and give them the discount they wanted and possibly get in trouble or do I call over a manager who is going to scold me for not understanding them?

There doesn’t seem to be a lot of space to discuss being autistic to anyone or time to dismantle stereotypes. I feel like I have to keep putting on a presentation and suppressing parts of myself or force myself to conform to allistic standards that make me uncomfortable while allistic people would never think about accommodating mine. I’ve heard so much offensive language towards autsitic people from basic team members, management, and customers at every job I’ve ever been at. And when something like that is THAT widespread and ingrained to how these people think, where and how do you even begin to address it? Who do you talk to? Who’s to say the person meant to handle these things at work isn’t making R word jokes minutes later?

Every job I get hired at assures me that I will be treated fairly, to the same standard as other employees. But to me, there seems to be something Off about fairness when it comes to performance. The problem is, the model of that standard is often a person who is not autsitic. I see it in the way supervisors walk up to me when I can’t get something to scan. I see it in the way they squint accusingly at me behind their mask if I need something explained more. I see it in the way coworkers have attributed their “stupid mistakes” to being “the r word”. They critisise lack of verbal communication or eye contact, they sigh when things need to be phrased differently, they stand impatiently while you’re trying to figure something out. In the break room, I hear people left and right laughing about or getting irritated over customers who are described as doing some of the things I do. I’ll always remember this one really nice customer who always came into the store and would put her items up on the counter slowly and would talk to you about her day, and I never had a problem with the speed at which she did anything because why would I? I don’t need to rush her, there’s no reason to. But a manager, after she had left one time, mimicked the way she spoke and said she was “the r word”. And I felt crushed.

No matter what a company says, in their eyes, we’re made to feel like the undesired. The inconvenience. The ones holding up lines or turning on the assistance blinkers at checkstands. There shouldn’t be people steaming behind us or snapping to go faster or shouting “Why don’t you understand?? Are you stupid??” I’ve found the discrimation against autsitic people in the workplace is a lot of times in subtlety, and to me it feels like what is being done to me isn’t noticable at first until I realise it’s eating away at me: the glares, the exaggerated sighs, the comments, the derogatory language. I always feel like someone standing outside a window while everyone else is on the inside. That’s what makes this type of treatment so insidious, because convenient for companies, they don’t have anything in their handbooks that protects me from their deeply imbedded practice of equating many traits of my autism with being an unsatisfactory employee. And usually by the time I’ve picked up on it, it’s too widespread for me to even sort out all that’s happened and I’m left feeling like I should just bear it. “Well then the job isn’t meant for you” someone might say. No, capitalist society doesn’t make room for people like me. In fact, I’ve never encountered a job that was meant for me. And I’m tired of having to say I’m sorry for myself and bend over backwards for capitalist “”””we’re a family”””” corporations and the society they’ve infected whom they’ve taught to not give two shits about people like me.

#sorry I just had a Time last night and had a breakdown in my car #smol talk #vent #long post #ok to rb

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got-svt · 3 years

Text

signs

order up ! large americano at 75% sweetness, a slice of strawberry shortcake, and a slice of cherry pie with mingyu for anon <3 order notes : mingyu x reader, angst, fluff, a first date, brief mentions of other members, cameo from eunwoo bec i watched true beauty and was in need of another 97 liner, and a very nervous mingyu, he just wants everything to go well smh look, something’s written on your cup... hi ! for transparency’s sake this is an edited version of something that i posted a while back that i deleted. so if you are the anon who requested this but couldn’t find it, here it is now !

summary : all mingyu wanted was to go on one nice date with you, was that too much to ask? well, according to the universe, it was.

word count : ~2.8k

The first sign was he woke up a little too late, technically it wasn’t even a sign, considering that it was entirely his fault anyway. Mingyu had spent all of the previous night preparing for your date with him — making little sandwiches, cutting up some fruit, baking cookies to be put in little plastic containers. After hearing that you hadn’t been to the park in quite a while, never really having a reason to go, he decided that a picnic wasn’t too bad of an idea for a first date.

Mingyu had wanted to ask you out for the longest time, being friends with him ever since both of you knew how to talk. It was easy, your friendship with him. Neither of you ever felt like you had to put up some sort of front, or have walls up incredibly high. He asked you out in the most casual of ways too, like it wasn’t that big of a deal. You couldn’t tell but on the inside, he was freaking out — that came with not knowing how you’d react and the possibility of rejection.

“Are you free tomorrow?” Mingyu asked, unable to meet your eyes.

You nodded, slightly confused at his inability to match your gaze.

“Okay, I was thinking we can go to the park tomorrow since you told me you haven’t been there in a while. Maybe we could go on a picnic?” He spoke as if he didn’t start preparing for this days ago, looking up fun things to do while on a picnic or a park — picking wildflowers together was high up on the list of things he wanted to do with you.

“Oh, sure! I’ll text Wonwoo and the others to see if they want to join us—”

“No!” Mingyu exclaimed, a little too loud and a little too quickly, a hand in front of you like he was about to physically stop you from doing something. “I was thinking that it could be just the two of us, you know?”

He hoped you would pick up on it, the implication from the nervous tone in his voice, how when he finally gazed up at you with softness in his yes. He was asking you out, on a date. Mingyu wished that you could tell. Unfortunately for him, you didn’t.

You shrugged your shoulders before giving him a smile, “Sure! We’ll meet there at around 10?”

And he couldn’t tell that you didn’t pick up on it either.

Mingyu woke up groggy that morning, his phone on the bedside table, calling out to him with the sound of a text notification.

[Y/N]: where are you? I’m already here >:(

His eyes widened, falling off his bed in shock once he realized it was already five minutes past 10 am. Mingyu took a shower, put on his clothes, grabbed everything he needed, and sped past the door in twenty minutes. This was not how he planned it out in his head. Mingyu was supposed to surprise you at your place, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand. No matter, he still had the rest of the day to sweep you off your feet and ask you to be his.

The sun shone brightly that morning, but it was neither hot nor humid. It was actually the perfect to be outside, with multiple white clouds littering the pale blue sky, a soft breeze blowing through the blades of grass, children running around playing tag — their laughter filling the air. Mingyu smiled, determined that today was going to be perfect

His eyes scanned around the are for any sight of your familiar figure, eyes lighting up when he finally spots you. Mingyu makes his way over, the nervousness that slowly started to creep up on him becoming amplified once he realizes that you were talking to someone else.

The first thing he noticed was how big your smile was as you talked to this person, stretching across your face and crinkling your eyes. Did you ever smile this much around him? You stood a few feet away from the man, but you were very clearly comfortable around him — lightly pushing his shoulder as you laughed, peering up at him through your eye lashes. You finally notice him walking to you, waving your hand and beckoning him to move quicker.

“Hey Gyu!” You grinned, greeting him like you always did, a quick one armed side-hug.

“Hi, Yn.” Mingyu attempted a smile, but it felt a little restrained, gesturing to the person you were just talking to, “Who’s this?”

“Oh! This is Eunwoo, we dated a while ago but it never really worked out.” You shrugged, waving it off like it wasn’t that big of a deal. “You were taking so long and I happened to run into him so we were just catching up a bit.”

“I see..” He trailed off, holding a hand out for Eunwoo to shake. He had known you for years now, and yet he had never heard you mention an Eunwoo to him before. “Nice to meet you, man.”

“Likewise.” Eunwoo replied, shaking Mingyu’s hand before turning to face you. “I won’t keep you too long. My number’s still the same, we should meet up for coffee sometime.”

Mingyu couldn’t help but furrow his brows at the sight of you enthusiastically accepting Eunwoo’s invitation. The little tug on his heartstrings was hard to ignore as he watched you give a quick hug goodbye to your ex-boyfriend — a very attractive ex-boyfriend for that matter. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, why did he have to wake up so late? If he had been there on time, you wouldn’t have been able to catch up with him for as long as you did. If he had stuck to his original plan of picking you up, you probably wouldn’t have seen him at all.

Kim Mingyu wasn’t the jealous type, but in that moment, he couldn’t help but feel exactly that. Especially when he had been pining after for you for so long now, he didn’t want it to come crashing down just because of one person.

“You’re pouting.” You commented, quickly noticing how uncharacteristically quiet he had become. The two of you walked side by side, hands ever so slightly brushing against one another. You hoped that the warm weather would be enough of an excuse for the red flush that made its way to your cheeks.

Mingyu shook his head, he didn’t mean to have you worrying for him. “Don’t worry about it.”

His reply made you even more skeptical, should there be something you’re meant to be worrying about? But you decided to drop the question, maybe it truly wasn’t that big of a deal.

You and Mingyu found a spot in a less crowded area of the park, you no longer the heard the sound of children screaming or their exhausted parents calling out over them. Instead the melodious sounds of birds tweeting up at the sky filled your ears, a delicate wind blew between the two of you, and the sun’s glare becoming much softer as it finally became covered by the clouds.

He takes out a blue picnic blanket and lays it flat on the ground, smoothing out imaginary creases in the process. You hold a hand out to him, wordlessly letting him know that you’d like to set the picnic up with him. Mingyu hands you the picnic basket, and you spent the next couple of minutes in silence as you tried to make everything look almost picture perfect. The silence was far from uncomfortable, manifested by the small smiles and the growing blushes on both of your faces. There was something rather domestic about the activity, handing him different containers of food, deciding together where everything should be placed.

“Did you make these yourself?” You asked once both of you finally settled down, gesturing to the wide array of food that lay in front of you.

Mingyu smiled, a hand on the back of his neck as he suddenly became ever so slightly bashful, “Yeah. I hope you like it.”

You take a bite of one of the chocolate chip cookies, something in you decided to tease him a little, making a face of slight disgust as you swallowed. His heart sank, a look of disappointment clearly covering his face. He spent all night making those, weren’t they up to your standard?

Panic washes over you as you saw a frown overtake his once smiling face, “I’m kidding! They’re good.”

Mingyu lets out a breath, the disappointment slowly disappearing as the two of you settled into an easy conversation, though that was never really difficult for the two of you. You and him have been friends for about a few years now, but he didn’t really know when exactly he started to see you as something more. He just knew that he did. This much was clear to him when he catches himself staring at you for a little too long, definitely longer than what would be considered normal. There was just something about you that enchanted him, whether it was you laughing over some silly joke he made, frowning as you become disappointed in the latest episode of a show you were watching, face illuminated by the light of a tv screen. You could be reading him your grocery list and he’d still think it was the most interesting thing in the world.

The extent of his feelings terrified him the first time he realized they were there in the first place. Mingyu wasn’t meant to feel that way for you, one of his closest friends. But he did, and the thought of you possibly not feeling the same way terrified him even more.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, head tilted to the side, “Do I have something on my face?”

Mingyu shook his head quickly, he didn’t mean to stare again.

You felt a sharp sting on your ankle, wincing as you immediately yelped from the pain, “Ouch!”

“What’s wrong?” Mingyu asked, eyes alight with concern.

You shook your head in response, thinking it was just a lone ant deciding to inconvenience you. That thought was quickly dismissed when you felt another equally sharp sting near that same area.

“Oh no…” You trailed off, looking a few meters to the side of your picnic blanket, “Mingyu…”

“Oh!” He exclaimed, following your gaze to the trail of ants that were quickly making their way to the two of you. Great, was nature against him too?

The both of you immediately got up, covering containers, placing them in the basket, and folding up the picnic blanket before the rest of the ants could step their tiny little feet onto the blanket and into the food. As you walked to find a new spot to continue the rest of your date, Mingyu couldn’t help but feel a little bit discouraged. Three things had gone wrong in the span of a few hours, was this just the universe warning him that the two of you will never work out? Maybe telling him to back off early before he gets his heart broken.

In the distance, a low rumble breaks through what would’ve been the perfect day out, followed by a sharp crackle piercing through the air. The sky once a brilliant blue was suddenly covered in heavy, stormy clouds. The park that once basked in the sun’s golden glow became shrouded in gray, people seemed to know what was about to happen as they hurriedly packed their things and go home.

It started out a small droplets, like little kisses on your skin that almost felt like nothing. They were small, and they fell ever so slowly. For a brief moment, Mingyu thought that this was going to be over quick. Then suddenly, the sky weeped, loud and heavy as it drenched the entirety of the park in rain.

Okay, nature was definitely against him now.

Mingyu stopped walking, was there even a point to moving forward? Everything was ruined. The food should be inedible at this point, you and him were soaked and freezing, and it’s not like you could have a picnic on muddy park soil. At this point, the universe had sent him so many signs, he’d feel like a fool if he didn’t listen now. But still, he wished things had happened the way it did in his head. He let out a frustrated groan, tears nearly pricking the corners of his eyes.

“Are you okay?” You asked, a gentle hand on his shoulder. Mingyu was very clearly distressed, but you failed to see why. It’s nature, it’s not something you or him could control. Things like this happen and you should be spending your energy trying to find a place to shelter yourselves from the rain. You grab onto his arm, trying to pull him away, “Come on, let’s find a place that can cover us.”

“No! I’m not okay, Yn…” He trailed off, agitation seeping into each and every one of his words. He shrugs off his arm, much to your surprise. Usually, he’d let you cling onto him for as long as you liked. “I just wanted today to be perfect.”

You furrowed your brows, slightly confused at his irritation, “Why does it matter if today is perfect or not?”

Mingyu sighed, he was getting cold now. He wanted nothing more to be wrapped up in a blanket and have you in his arms. But he knew the chances of the happening now are essentially slim to none. The day was already ruined, and there’s nothing he could do to even remotely salvage it. “I just…”

You gestured for him to continue, waiting patiently as he tried to find the words to say.

“I wanted to give you the perfect date…” He spoke, looking down at his feet.

“Wait, this was a date?” You didn’t mean to sound surprised, you just genuinely were. Voice raising octaves and eyebrows shot up, talking too quickly to catch most of the words, “Like a date-date? I thought we were just hanging out! All you asked me yesterday was whether or not I was free!”

Mingyu’s shoulder’s slumped. He didn’t have to ask you to repeat himself, he heard you clearly despite how hard the rain currently came down, the beating of his own heart deafening him. In a way, he was thankful for the rain; at least you wouldn’t be able to tell if a few tears escaped his eyes. “I’m sorry, I just thought…yeah, no. I should have expected this.”

Guilt immediately flooded your senses, he must’ve read your shock as a rejection of his feelings. You didn’t mean to sound so startled at him thinking the entire day as a date, you just couldn’t believe the possibility that he felt the same way you did for him. “Mingyu.”

You were sure if he had heard you, his gaze still on the ground. You called out to him again, this time your voice much louder and sterner, hoping that it would get his attention. “Gyu.”

“What is it, Yn?” He looked up to find you making your way towards him, a small pout forming on your lips. Mingyu sighed, “You don’t have to do this. I’ll be fine.”

“I like you.” You spoke, just as you were about a few feet away from him, looking into his eyes to make sure he knew that you meant it — that you were being completely serious.

His world stopped. Suddenly, it seemed like the earlier events of the day never happened. He never woke up late, you hadn’t gotten the chance to catch-up with your ex-boyfriend, ants never tried to show up uninvited to your picnic, rain never poured down on the two of you. All these things he thought were signs from the universe, never occurred. There was only you and him, and you liked him back.

“Oooooh you wanna kiss me so bad.” You teased, attempting to snap him out of his trance.

Mingyu didn’t mean to stare at you again, speechless. He just couldn’t believe that this was real just yet. But your words, how you looked at him with a smile — expectant, like you were challenging him to do something, to make a move — finally made him realize just how real this was. “And what if I do?”

You blinked back, not expecting that bold of a response. Still, you took a single step forward, further closing the already small distance between the two of you. “I’d let you.”

Without another word, he moves a hand to your chin, gently tilting your face up so his lips could meet yours in a kiss.

— thank you for visiting cafe amore ! feel like ordering something else? check the menu here.

#seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen oneshot #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu fanfic #mingyu oneshot #ca completed order

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egyptsblackrose · 3 years

Text

Dancing with Strangers

There will be one more part to this story after this then I think this story is complete. I have other projects in the works and other passions I want to devote some time to. Hope your all doing well and please enjoy.

No actual smut in this one, but reference to intimacy probably still 18+ though so minors please do not read

Part 4- https://egyptsblackrose.tumblr.com/post/652018121062989824/dancing-with-strangers-more-filth-for-this-story

Part 5-

Your senses slowly brought you out of your peaceful, heavy slumber, though your mind was not ready to open your eyes just yet. First thing you felt was comfort, soft, warm, heavy sheets keeping you safe and cozy. When you focused more, however, you realised that part of your arm that was not in your little cocoon, was radiating the kind of heat only the sunlight could bring. So it was clearly day time, maybe even afternoon. No matter, you did’t have any classes today, that was why you agreed to going out to the clubs with your friends.

Your friends… You gasped and sat up with a jolt, only to groan and hiss. Rubbing your lower stomach and back.

Oh… right… you had gone home with not just one but TWO strangers and had a THREESOME!

Your cheeks set on fire as the events of last night played out in your head. The pleasure, the desire. More had happened after they had each taken a turn with you. Kakashi had been painfully hard again watching your brains get fucked out by Gojo, so you had rolled over and sucked him off lazily, taking your time to tease. That had lead to the boys getting revenge, Satoru holding your hands hostage as he fucked your mouth, while Hatake ravaged you again, harder and more forceful till you squirted for him as well.

Then you had been carried to the shower, Kakashi tenderly, lovingly holding you bridal style in the walk in shower as Gojo massaged your entire body with wonderful smelling shower gel. Only your moans had turned the men on again. Gojo took you this time, having you pressed against the wall with him on his knees, Hatake standing and receiving another blow job from you. Kakashi had to wash your face and hair when he tried to pull out too late, but you had been quick to defend him when Satoru’s teasing went too far.

By the time you were all dried, your legs had stopped working and you could barely keep your eyes open, the sun was peaking through the curtains gently to hint as the beginning of sunrise, and you all settled into bed. Never before had you been so comfortable, resting your head against someone’s chest while being spooned from behind, wearing a really comfy large hoodie and boxer shorts for bed while the two men only wore old shorts.

But glancing around at the bed, you found your companions gone and the bed cold. Nibbling on your bottom lip in thought, you quickly did a body check. Toes were wiggling; but it took effort and there was still a little pain, your stomach felt a little uncomfortable and sore but nothing you couldn’t handle. You smelled good- to your relief- though you needed to brush your teeth immediately. Your hair felt smooth and smelled great as well, your make up had clearly been removed, your cloths were at the end of the bed; freshly washed and folded.

You had clearly been well taken care of, their after care game was obviously on par with their A game. And yet the niggling doubt set into your mind.

Why take such good care of you and then leave you alone? And there was no sounds in the whole apartment from what you could hear. Had they left? There was no note from what you could see. Maybe they’d gone out or to work and hoped you’d be gone by the time they got back. Why else leave your cloths close by, in obvious view and clean to wear. This was their hint to get out. They’d had their fun, so had you, now it was time to leave.

The thought made you a lot sadder than you would like to admit. But then again, the two men were clearly experienced, your friends had even said so last night, that’s why they encouraged you to go through with it. You were not the first girl they did this too, and chances are you weren’t the last. How many other girls out there had woken up exactly like this? With a pout and painful groan, you slipped out of bed and started getting changed on wobbly legs.

This was for the best anyway, you told yourself. They were policemen, they were successful men, there was TWO of them. And you were just a Uni student, you weren’t even half way through your final year, you had yet to successfully land an interview. You didn’t even know if you wanted to stay in Japan after you graduated, if you wanted to graduate here or go back home to your family… There was still so much you needed to figure out, you were just beginning. And successful men like that would want a successful woman, or women rather.

Once presentable, borrowing some mouth wash from the bathroom seen as you did not have your own toothbrush, you took a few deep breaths to sike yourself up. The fact that not just one, but TWO god level men had chosen you to spend the night with them meant something, even if it was short lived. THEY had picked YOU, called you beautiful, whispered sweet nothings into your ear, taken care of you. And now it would be a nice memory, and you could wear this win like a badge of honour as you leave. Just think of how many women would kill to be you.

Opening the bedroom door, your heart sank a little more at not seeing even one of the handsome men. A little part of you had hoped that maybe they were up, and that little part of you made your eyes scan the living room and kitchen desperately for a note or a sign that you hadn’t been left behind. But all you found was a clock above the cooker that read 10:20 am.

Hu… earlier than you thought, but not an unpleasant surprise.

Thankfully the door was unlock-able from the inside, but you weren’t sure about the elevator, seen as they had used a key card to activate it last night. It seemed luck was on your side, however, because pressing the down button meant the elevator was automatically called to you, opened, and a frigging bell boy was waiting with a smile and a polite nod. How rich are these guys?!

“Ground floor Miss?” The young man asked. You nodded numbly, stepping in and moved to the back of the elevator. It seemed the new face could tell you didn’t want to talk, so the journey down was gratefully a silent one as you stared at the floor. How many young women has this man escorted down and out of the building for these two men?

You frowned at yourself. Why were you so hung up on that? You had no right to the answer and no right to even ask the question. They weren’t yours. You weren’t theirs. And it didn’t even matter. But you couldn’t free yourself from the feeling of being used.

Raising your head at the ding, as soon as the doors started opening you dashed out, wanting to quickly get away from this place and move on. The quicker this…mind blowing experience became a fond memory, the better.

Following your memory from last night of being in the taxi, you knew that you had passed your street on the way, and it didn’t seem like such a long ways away. You started walking without hesitation, head down as you messaged your friends that you were on the way home. They replied excitedly, clearly wanting to talk about the events of last night, but you quickly shut them down. Miku seemed to get the hint immediately that you weren’t feeling like yourself and something was wrong, promising movies and home made goodies from her mum who was visiting.

The thought made you smile. Miku and Sakura’s parents had basically adopted you as soon as you got back to Japan, all four insisting on introducing you to as many of their friends and neighbours as possible, promising you and your worried parents that they were only a call away. Miku’s mother was particularly affectionate, a little unusual for Japanese culture, but she often cured your home sickness with gentle hugs and head pats, pinching your cheeks and promising a nice warm home cooked meal and a few wise words. And such parental affections was too good to pass up right now.

Raising your head with slightly watery eyes, you quickened your pace. Only for your wrist to be grabbed in a unyielding hold.

“Y/N!”

“Beautiful?”

The voices made to freeze, eyes widening as you slowly turned and gasped. It was them.

“Kakashi? Gojo?” Your voice was nothing but a whisper from how surprised you were.

“Baby, why are you leaving already?” Hatake asked worriedly, frown in place.

Satoru wagged a disapproving figure at you. “I thought I said we were staying in bed today to have fun.”

“But…” Swallowing thickly, you turned more towards them, wide eyed and confused. “I woke up in bed alone, you were both gone, my cloths were clean and folded beside me…I thought you wanted to me to go…”

“What?!” Gojo yelled in an exaggerated tone, quickly moving to wrap his arms around you from behind and rubbing his face into your hair. “What a silly little head our beautiful girl has Kakashi!”

“Y/N…” Hatake soothed quickly, seeing you frown at Gojo. “Baby I wasn’t there when you woke up because I left to do a little shop of things me and Gojo were out of, and also pick you up a toothbrush for when you woke up. And our idiot here wasn’t with you because I sent him to pick up some breakfast for us all. You said at the club that your favourite thing to wake up to was _____, so we thought we’d treat you. We both went so we could be back as fast as possible, we didn’t think you would wake up so soon, let alone think we wanted you to go. So imagine our surprise when we pull into our usual parking spot across the street and see a figure and outfit all to familiar walking away from us? We were worried you decided that YOU wanted to go.”

The words sunk in slowly and made your eyes water more, especially when you heard Kakashi use the term ‘OUR idiot’ when referring to Gojo. He was including you in their bond. “So… you weren’t trying to give me the hint to leave so you wouldn’t have to see me?”

“Beautiful, are you stupid?” Kakashi sent a glare to Gojo, but the other white haired male continued. “Last night was amazing, and I said that this was the beginning. Do I seem the type to lie to you beautiful? I don’t just say that to anyone, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever said it before. Me and Kakashi want to do so much more to you, with you, and not just in the bedroom…and not just sexual things either.”

The clear implication and teasing was not lost on you, making your cheeks light up a rosy pink. Hatake chuckled sweetly, stroking your cheek as he stepped a little closer. “There’s that blush we love. Y/N, I won’t lie to you. We have had one night stands before, we have had times where we either take the girl home or ask her personally to leave, but neither me or Gojo want this to be one of those times. We don’t want a one night stand with you, your different, special. We actually like you, as a person, and we’d like to see if this…if WE could be something.”

Your mouth fell open in shock. Where…where they SERIOUS? These beautiful, amazing men wanted you in their lives? “But why?”

Kakashi frowned. “Why?”

“Yeah. Why? Why me?”

Gojo chuckled, nuzzling your neck to draw your attention back to him. “Because Kakashi’s right, your different. Most women are flirty with us cause they want some fun. YOU were flirty with us cause WE were fun. You listened to us, you didn’t try to be something or someone your not, you were very real. And the real you is awesome. And we want to know that real you more.”

“Y/N,” Hatake’s hand, that was still on your wrist, moved down to take your hand, stroking the back of it soothingly. “Gojo and I have a strange relationship, we know that. We are more like brothers than friends, and there’s never been any attraction between us. But we have only ever had a functioning, healthy relationship when the two of us put in the effort. We are not perfect, but together we are. And for a long time we have looked for someone who can complete us, who can make us both happy. It’s too early to tell if that’s you, but surely even you had to feel how RIGHT everything felt last night.”

Flashes of charming smiles from the club took over your mind, how easy the flow of conversation was, how natural it felt to have both their hands on you. You had been saddened so much to think that something so good was already over. But here they were, telling you it didn’t have to be. Looking into those amazing dark grey and blue eyes of the two white haired men, you could see how they desperately did not want you to go.

“Ok… we can see where this goes. But, I want to try do this properly, and I want this to be open between the three of us.” Both men looked at each other in confusion, so you continued. “If something happened with just one of you while the other is away, I don’t want it causing fights, I also want to spend time with you, and not just doing…intimate stuff. Dates, together as a three or just as a duo, actually getting to know one another, honesty, proper communication. All of it.” You said firmly. “When I devote myself to a relationship, I do it whole heartedly, and I expect the same from my partner. Just because there’s two of you, doesn’t mean you can put in half the effort. I’m mostly looking at you Satoru.”

The blue eyed man gasped on horror, hand over his heart like it was clutching a fatal wound. “Beautiful, you think I wont treat you like a princess?”

“I don’t want to be treat like a princess.” You shot back firmly, but smiled softly. “I want you to treat me as your equal, like your friend, like your partner, because to me, that’s what a relationship is. I don’t want to be babied or spoilt, I just want to be treat fairly and honestly. And if I find out either of you cheated on me…just remember that BOTH my parents are amazing lawyers and I have another country I can easily move to.” The three of you laughed easily, smiling at each other with warm smiles as you each earliest that this was the start of something. Something beautiful.

Part 6- https://egyptsblackrose.tumblr.com/post/655347185273241600/dancing-with-strangers-this-is-by-far-the-longest

#y/n #you #my own work #gojo #Satoru #gojo x you #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #Kakashi #Hatake #kakashi x y/n #kakashi x you #kakashi x reader #kakashi hakate #trader #selfinsert

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words-for-holland · 3 years

Text

Christmas Admirers Teaser |T.H.

Pairing: Fratboy!Tom x Reader

Summary: Tom Holland and Y/N have never crossed each other’s paths in the 3 years of their college career. but can a silly letter change all that?

Loosely Inspired by Dash & Lily and every other cheesy Hallmark Christmas Rom-Com Movie out there.

A/N: This wont be a series but this story is going to be really long when it’s done but tbh not sure if Im really like how its coming...Ha...ha.. But I’ll still do a taglist for this when it’s completed so feel free to add yourself if you’d like.

Taglist

Wanna Play a Game?

All it took was one bright red letter and four words to intrigue the most beloved, foreign exchange student of New York University, Tom Holland. If his name sounds familiar to you, then you already know the answer to the question that just popped in your head. Yes, not only was Tom Holland a well renowned actor, he was also a student exploring the wonders of college along with his best friend Harrison. Some say he was only attending to prepare for a role, others say he did it to have his fun with sorority girls, and a very small percentage believed he was actually trying to get his degree in theater. Whatever the reason, college life suited him well, being the head of the Beta Gamma Sigma Fraternity, living the bachelors life with a new girl around his arm every week, but it was all the same...until he found that red letter sticking out of an abandoned shelf in the Potter’s Library.

He remembered it clearly, the day he found it. Tom had reluctantly arrived at the Library assuming his mates would be there to actually study for an exam they had this upcoming week. Lord knows if they didn’t pass this final with at least a C this semester, they would surely relive the nightmares with Professor Gonpu in the next. Yet to no surprise, none of them came and ditched last minute as the pool of messages started to flood his phone.

“Great.” Tom muttered to himself as he took a seat at the far right corner of the library. The area was empty, and as he slouched on the wooden chair and pushed it back, the boy hadn’t realize how close to the empty shelf he was. With a single thud, came a small red letter floating above and gently making its way down to his lap. The inviting words peaked his interest, and while he checked both front and back for a name, the letter should have been addressed to...there was none. He unfolded it and read it to himself.

Do you want a play a game?

You seem like the type of person that has nothing better to do, so let’s make it a little more interesting. I wont tell you who I am, but if I deem you worthy...I just might.

Still with me?

I’ll give you five clues to figure out this location. Everything you need is here in the Library. And...if you even think about using that phone, you might as well put this letter back where you found it. After all.. you’re in a library and it’s got all the information you need. Ready?

Tom looked at it puzzled by the words. “Do people actually do this shit?”, he thought to himself. He continued to read on, examining each clue and the 5 lines next to them.

1. You’ll find your first clue, deals with a tragic romance. He had all the money in the world but never ends up with the one he loves.

“Too easy.” Tom smiled to himself as he quickly looked for The Great Gatsby. He referenced the red letter seeing only 3 spaces for the first clue. “Jay” he whispered to himself, as he triumphantly wrote out the words.

2. Know what else is more shitty than dying and not having the love your life? Writing a depressing poem about the love your life dying. Or as Poe would imagine, a beautiful maiden by the sea.

He smirked at the line, knowing fully well the poem that the mysterious letter was referencing, and quickly headed to the poetry section. Tom scanned the row of books, until the black book with white lettering caught his eye. Flipping through the broken pages, he found exactly what he was looking for. “In this kingdom by the sea, but we loved with a love that was more than love, I and my Annabel Lee.” he muttered the lines, a smile slowly creeping up. Tom writes out the word “Lee” in the 3 lettered blank. “Tragic Romance, how typical.” he says to himself. Though his voice was laced with disinterest, it was Tom’s favorite poem, but he’d never tell anyone that.

It continued on this rhythm of deciphering clues and running around the Library like a chicken without a head to figure out what the letter wanted from Tom. He had been so focused that his plan to study for Gonpu’s final and meeting with the fraternity has completely flown out the window. As of now, Tom’s main priority was to find the answers to the letter’s puzzling challenge. Maybe, if he answered it, he would know who the mysterious writer was.

Then it happened. The last clue was solved, as Tom quickly wrote out the final word, examining his work and trying to make sense of what he found. There were no other instructions left on the letter which only made Tom more puzzled. It wasn’t a name. It wasn’t a thing. It was a place on campus. Jay Lee’s Coffee Lounge, the most serene coffee spot you’ll ever find in NYU. It offered all the essentials needed to focus and complete your work all with a side of great cold brew made in house. People say it’s NYU’s best kept secret, but really it’s because students will rarely go since it’s so out of the way.

He made it to the shop after thirty minutes, and stepped into the calm atmosphere. The smell of gingerbread lattes hit him once he opened the doors, and soft chatter between students filled the air. He looked around the area in hopes to find the person who wrote the letter. Perhaps they were waiting for him, but it was unlikely since Tom wasn’t even sure if the letter was written that same day. For all he knew, he could be wasting his time, and yet....it didnt feel like it. Almost as if he felt he was meant to be here.

“Mate, what are you doing here?!” Tom followed the robust British voice as he whipped his head to the counter. His best friend Harrison, dressed in a Jay Lee’s short sleeved shirt.

“Harrison? You...work here?” He asked voice filled with confusion. Not once did Harrison tell Tom about his side job. In fact it was almost offensive to think the blonde hair bloke would even it hide it from him.

“Yeah...I didn’t really tell anyone because well you know, it’s the last place people would expect a frat to be working in. Reputations and all...What about you? I didn’t think this place was your type of thing.” he asked.

“It’s not...” he paused for a moment, debating on whether to tell Harrison what he found. If it led Tom here, Harrison might know who wrote the letter. He hoped it was girl...God he really hoped it was. “Actually, I was at the library today waiting for you divs --”

“Oh yeah sorry mate.” Harrison looked at Tom apologetically.

“No, its fine really. But I found something interesting, and --”

“Tom, if it’s another blonde wannabe model, I --”

“Bloody hell, Harrison just listen to me. I..” Tom paused for a moment to quickly check his surroundings before pulling up the red paper. “I found this red letter. Made me go on bloody goose chase and led me here. You dont happen to know anything about this do you?”

Harrison took the letter and examined it thoroughly reading the lines word for word and the notes Tom made next to them. He was just as intrigued, but unfortunately shook his head, unsure of the answer to Tom’s question as well. “Sorry, Mate. I have no clue. Never seen anyone here writing out a red letter before.”

Tom held the letter, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Was this it? Did he really just waste a whole 3 hours in the library and 30 minutes worth of gas for nothing? “I just dont understand.” he muttered.

“Look if you really think the person that wrote this letter wanted you to be here, why don’t you just write a message in it and post it on the corkboard? Im working the entire week, so I’ll keep an eye on who grabs it and let you know.“

It didnt seem like a half bad plan, Tom nodded in agreement and grabbed a pen from his bag, writing his reply in the empty space, the mysterious writer was so kind enough to leave. He posted it on the corkboard, and turned back to his friend.

“Dont forget.” Tom pleaded.

“I wont mate.”

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine

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1-800-imagine · 3 years

Text

autumn’s song

sero x reader

✎ genre: angst, pro hero au?

✎ warnings: angst, major and implied death

✎ word count: 2.5k

✎ inside scoop: this fic is inspired by autumn’s song by stephen day for more than obvious reasons, and i personally recommend you listen along as you read (you can click here for that). of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to -- whatever optimizes your reading experience.

on a separate note, i’ll probably get some more time to finish up some pieces this weekend that’s honestly debatable but we’ll see. so if you’d like, you can go ahead and request something.

✎ synopsis: fall had always been a tough time for sero, seeing that it had always reminded him of you.

the last thing sero ever wanted to do was get so hung up on the past -- it was the last thing you ever wished for him. though it’s tough when everything seems to bring back so many memories.

even the entire season of fall brought him back to times when you were around. afterall autumn was just filled with so many great memories of your relationship.

swinging through the awfully familiar city of musutafu, sero can feel the tears pooling at the corners of his eyes -- threatening to roll down his cheeks at any given minute.

the tape hero stops at the next post available. he lifts off his helmet in order to take in some of the fresh air. that cold, crisp atmosphere hits sero’s tear-stained cheeks, along with reels of unwanted memories.

he does his best to suppress those reminders of what once was -- at the very least keeping them tucked in the farthest part of his mind so that he can finish up his patrol.

“great,” he utters. just as sero thought he could escape his little swamp of thoughts, he realizes his surroundings -- far too familiar for his own comfort. he looks down, only to see your favorite, seasonal spot, surprised that it was still running its usual business after all this time.

right as the hero boarded up those old memories, the floodgates seem open right back up. this time hitting him harder than the bullet trains running all through japan.

sero felt the wind cascade through his long hair, tickling the back of his neck. he felt your hand in his own -- fingers intertwined. the sound of leaves crunching filled his ears with every step along this newer, unknown path.

your destination, to you, was a mystery -- a surprise actually. sero had always seemed to cross paths with this little cafe on his way to pick you up from your hero work. he was actually quite alarmed, when you said you hadn't heard of it since you passed by almost everyday.

well, sero gave you the benefit of the doubt considering it was a small place -- family-owned he assumed. a quaint little shop, lodged between two much taller, corporate buildings. in short: it was very easy to skip past the place.

when the two of you had stepped inside, you were greeted with a sense of shelter from the cold, bitter outside. that smell of sweet pastries filled your numbed noses. the space was a lot smaller than it appeared to be.

it was empty too, the only other people inside were an older couple, but they didn’t seem much older than the two of you.

the older man wore a mossy green cap, despite there being no sun needed to be shielded from. a narrow, grey streak weaved through the woman’s hair, contrasting its natural, dark tones. it was pretty, representing the wisdom she gained in her years of living.

“ah welcome,” a voice called out. it was the older woman’s voice -- smooth and sweet like honey. “what a lovely young couple,” she mentioned, “you two must’ve been dating for quite a while, yeah?” her question earned a rosy shade from sero’s cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears; and a nervous chuckle was all you could seem to muster up.

“you don’t have to answer her,” the older man, who was presumed to be the woman’s husband, interrupted. just by listening to the tone in his voice alone, sero could tell the man was clearly displeased with the woman’s antics.

the older woman gestured for the two of you to come inside. “we don’t get too many people coming by,” she spoke. “i think that’s obvious,” her husband interjected.

the wife gestured to you two to come in, she made the both of you feel very welcomed -- like a part of their little family. “we’re glad you chose to stay” the husband observed, “we’re the kokawa’s by the way.”

the lady maneuvered around the tables, claiming that the one directly in the center was the most perfect. she handed you two some paper menus as you sat down and got yourselves comfortable. “thank you kokawa-sama” sero thanked, scanning over some of his options.

“please, call me chiyoko,” the older woman requested, “and that is isamu.” she was very casual, inviting you to use both her and her husband’s first names. in return, you had offered your names to the couple, “i’m (y/n), and that’s hanta.” sero felt so giddy inside when you pronounced his name, like a little kid on the swing set. it was just that he always loved how his name rolled off your tongue.

chiyoko shared some of the couple’s favorite items with the two of you, “i recommend the yuzu honey, it can be served hot or cold,” she explained, “the hojicha is a favorite of isamu’s; though, i would only indulge after a big meal.”

your eyes seemed to have lit up at something chiyoko recommended, and sero knew exactly what it was. given the two of you had been dating for a year or so, he was able to read you like the back of his hand.

“i think the yuzu honey sounds great,” you ordered -- just as sero predicted, a silly, little smirk gracing his lips. he knew how much you loved that sweet, citrus tea rain or shine. “and what about you?” chiyoko had seemed to catch sero off guard. “i, uh, yuzu honey as well please,” he uttered.

“so the two yuzu honey? that’s all?” chiyoko affirms. you respond with a small nod.

the older woman takes the menus and walks to the back, leaving the two of you alone for a moment. “thank you hanta,” you expressed. “what for?” the male asks, hints of confusion littered in his voice. “this,” you answered, “we haven’t spent quality time like this in a while.”

there was a pause in your words, and you reached out for sero’s hand across the table. “i’m sorry,” you muttered. when you looked up, your boyfriend noticed the glassiness layered over top your eyes.

“don’t be,” he assures, “we’ve been really busy lately, you know, saving the city.” his signature proud, triangular smile lit up the room. “but i’m glad we can spend some time together every now and then,” sero adds, giving your hand a tight squeeze.

you found so much comfort in his words -- it was like he knew exactly what to say.

“ahem,” isamu grunted. he was holding a small tray with two cups of tea balanced on top. from the background you could hear chiyoko scolding her husband, “isamu, quit being so impatient. can’t you see they’re having such a sweet moment.” you watched as she discarded a lonesome tear.

isamu took the cups from the little tray and gently placed them on the table. “don’t worry about it,” sero assured, followed with a light-hearted chuckle; your lips shifted into a simple little smirk.

you took a small little sip of the tea from the cup, your expression perking up almost immediately -- like a small dog wagging their little tail. the steam from the cup warmed up your face as well. sero took a swig of his tea, and he tasted the bright flavors of the yuzu, which contrasted the duller shades of autumn.

“enjoy?” the older woman asked. your small, little smirk spread into a smile. “very much,” you responded.

while you continued to sip on your drinks, chiyoko even brought out albums of countless, old photos of the life her and isamu had shared. it was a life sero only wished he’d be able to share with you.

but things aren’t always so simple -- they always say all good things must come to an end, right?

it was the first day of fall following summer -- the weather was much cooler than the previous days. some people even claimed it to be an ominous sign. the wind threatened to pull trees from their roots, the fog made it difficult to see nearly five feet ahead.

but sero continued to fight the both wind and the fog. he rushed through the city, because he knew what was at stake. cellophane had been called onto the scene to support a mission gone awry -- your mission that had gone awry.

the closer sero got, the more he could see how disastrous the mission had gone. what was once a tall standing building, now turned to nothing but rubble. heroes from all over the board came to offer any sort of assistance.

though he could barely recognize them, but sero even saw some of his old high school classmates coming to the rescue.

he watched as the tentacle hero, tentacole, brought the leftover civilians to safety, being sure to shield them from any of ground zero and gale force’s uncontrollable blasts of power. uravity, sugar rush, and battle fist had been maneuvering larger masses in order to find anyone hidden in the debris, while alien queen melted away the concrete and steel.

even sero’s former teacher, eraserhead, worked with the underground hero, mind jack, to round up the last of the villains.

as soon as the tape hero swung onto the scene, he found the nearest person he could ask for help. he figured top hero creati was sure to know where you could be. “mo-creati,” cellophane announced, granting him the creation hero’s attention. “have you seen them?” he questioned.

the least she gave him was a shake of her head. “i’m sorry,” the creation hero began, “we don’t know of their whereabouts as of right now.” though she made it seem that she was composed under the frantic situation, creati was just as scared as cellophane.

from then sero did one of the most unprofessional, irrational things a hero could do and run straight into the chaos without any other instruction. it was against protocol -- it was against his own rules, but he was desperate to know if you were safe.

“cellophane!” another hero called out. it was red riot, a former classmate and a close friend. the bmi hero, fat gum, followed close behind.

sero gripped both of his red-haired pal’s sturdy shoulders. “please,” the hero’s voice began to grow desperate, “please tell me you’ve seen them.”

“no,” the red-head answered. sero began to drown himself in his own thoughts. where on earth could you be? were you even alright? you had to be. he thought. “but the last anyone has heard or seen from them was over that away,” red riot pointed out.

cellophane gave his buddy a simple nod as a sign of appreciation, before proceeding down the path he had pointed out.

as he continued in that direction, the tape hero stumbled across a body, which laid dormant and defeated in front of him. he recognized the definable features to be yours, eyes growing wide at the sight. despair washed over sero at his discovery.

‘no it isn’t,’ he thought, ‘it can’t possibly be them. is it?’ sero knew there was only one possible way to answer that question -- a question he wished he would never have to answer.

it was almost like his legs took root in the ground below, his knees pulled him to the ground like heavy rocks. sero felt himself sinking into the ground.

“(y/n)?” he whispered. the warmth of his arms contrasted that of the body held between them.

a silent bubble formed around the two of you, but all sero wished for was to hear your voice. he wanted that voice to tell him that everything would all be okay. that things would soon go back to normal -- though he knew they wouldn’t.

“hanta, say something. please,” you begged, your words filling that silence, “let me hear your voice once more.”

nothing. unlike the countless times before, sero didn’t know what to say. he simply just didn’t have the right words.

you had brought your hand up to hold onto sero’s cheek, and he felt the warmth begin to fade. “hanta,” you spoke out, barely even whispering. every breath containing less and less life in it.

“(y/n). . .” he whimpered, but it was too late. your hand dropped due to the lack of life in it. “(y/n)” he continued, “(y/n), please, (y/n)!” the tears finally began to fall, with no sign of stopping anytime soon.

“don’t leave me,” he pleaded, “don’t leave me without saying goodbye.”

there was no response.

“you promised,” the words echoed through the open space, “you promised.”

that day japan lost a strong hero, and sero lost an even stronger love.

just about two autumns have passed since your incident, and there isn’t a day that goes by where sero doesn’t think about how things might’ve been if you were still around.

he wonders if you would still have been the same person you were back then. he wonders what would have changed. what would have stayed the same?

but sero knows he can’t get so hung up on the what if’s, because they aren’t the reality -- a reality without you around anymore.

the wind hits the back of sero’s neck, and it brings him back to that first time he walked down this once familiar path. however, this time he can only wish that you were still by his side, accompanying him.

when the male stepps inside, he’s hit with that same warmth once more. just this time he can tell that something was the slightest bit off.

a voice calls out -- isamu, “long time no see.” a long time it indeed had been -- just about two years to be exact.

since the tragedy had struck, sero hadn’t come back to the little cafe; however, the male figured he’d stop by while he was already in the area. at least to say his hello’s to the couple if nothing else.

the older woman, chiyoko, emerges from the back room, a tray in her hands. her eyes grow wide, like she some sort of apparition stood in front of her. “welcome back,” chiyoko greets. a relieving smile shifts onto her face. it makes sero feel at home -- the most at home he’s felt in a little while. “please come sit,” isamu insists.

sero does as he’s told, walking toward the center of the cafe -- the best seat in the house. it reminds him of that first time he visited with you.

chiyoko comes by the table with a small cup in hand. “yuzu honey?” she offers, “it’s on the house.” sero gives the woman a simple little nod, taking the offering from her. as he sips on what once was your favorite beverage, he tastes that bright, citrus flavor. that flavor you had fallen in love with all that time ago.

“how’s (y/n) doing?” chiyoko questions. she was always a very curious woman and probably couldn’t help but ask. sero could hear isamu grunting from behind, attempting to signal to chiyoko that she may have overstepped her boundaries.

“it’s alright,” sero utters, “they-”

he can’t even give the older couple a proper answer. so instead, sero put on that signature, triangular smile -- like a mask, covering the deep, twisted despair inside. he took a deep inhale and lied.

“they’ve been doing well,” he wished.

#boku no hero academia #bhna #bhna imagines #bhna angst #bhna x reader #my hero academia #mha #mha imagines #mha angst #mha x reader #sero hanta #sero hanta x reader #sero x reader #sero angst

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the--highlanders · 3 years

Text

3. “I’ve waited for this.”

on ao3.

Red. Red and yellow and roughly torpedo-shaped, with a few modifications for warfare. Long-distance fuel supplies, ammunition tanks, that sort of thing. So, that meant a species with sufficient resources to make those modifications to an otherwise standard-issue fleet, and enough experience with war to know what to do. Red and yellow and torpedo-shaped and warlike – well, that let him pluck a few dozen more notes off the wall before him, which narrowed it down to something in the region of four hundred potential star systems. He was making progress. And once he knew who had attacked them, then he might be able to make a start on putting a stop to it.

Goodness, posing as a wartime advisor was difficult. Being an examiner was one thing – but here he was in hospital, and he was still expected to work.

Voices were drifting in through the closed door, and he paused, rather grateful for the distraction. One voice was unfamiliar to him, though it was bland and distant enough that he was sure it had to be the guard posted outside his room. They had not spoken a word to him, despite his best efforts. But the other voice was almost as familiar to him as his own, and starting to sound a little heated.

“But I’ve got tae see him,” Jamie was insisting. “You’ve got tae let me inside.”

“I’m terribly sorry, sir,” the guard said, not sounding particularly sorry at all. “But I have my orders. The minister is under protection. Nobody but the medical staff are to see him.”

“Och, ye wee -” A squeaking of heels against the floor, as if Jamie had spun around to march away. Then another squeak, like he had paced back in frustration, at a loss for anything else to do with himself. “I’m hardly going tae hurt him, am I?” The guard stammered out something inaudible. “Ye know who I am. He’d want tae see me.”

“I have my orders,” the guard repeated, though they sounded a little less certain now. “We’re not to take any risks.”

Even through the door, he could hear Jamie suck in a deep breath. The Doctor was almost surprised that he did not let out a scream. He might have done so himself, if their circumstances had been reversed. “Take any risks – I’m his husband!”

Something about those words froze the Doctor in place. Why was he so surprised to hear it? He had heard Jamie say it a thousand times before. Why should it feel so strange, when it was a simple fact, one that he had grown quite used to?

Then he remembered that Jamie was not as used to it as he was. In fact, he didn’t know it at all, anymore.

Could he have remembered? Perhaps – the shock of him being hurt, the worry of being apart – it might have triggered something. Human brains were odd like that, contorting themselves into all sorts of shapes to cope with stress. But it was hardly as if he had not been in danger before, and this last memory block had been a thorn in his side for so long. If it was going to unlock so simply, it would have done so long ago.

But if he was right about that, then why on earth would Jamie have said it?

Whatever the guard had made of it, they had evidently decided that it was not worth arguing with Jamie, because the key was turning in the lock. The Doctor whisked himself around hastily to face his wall of pinned notes, drawing his coat more tightly around his scratchy hospital-issue pyjamas. If only they had given him his real clothes back, then he might be more comfortable. But although they had been rather accommodating for everything else, they had been quite unwilling to budge in that regard.

You’re rambling, he told himself sternly. You must get a hold of yourself before -

He had not even finished the thought in his own head when that before evaporated. The door was thrust open, and Jamie came barging into the room, storming over to bundle him into a hug.

Behind them, the guard quietly clicked the door closed.

“Ah,” was all the Doctor could say, arching his back away from Jamie’s slightly shaky grip. He had not realised quite how bruised he still was around the ribcage until Jamie had grabbed hold of him. “Ah – ah. Jamie.”

“What were ye thinkin’,” Jamie mumbled into his shoulder. “Givin’ me a scare like that.”

“Jamie,” the Doctor said again. “I’m, ah – rather pleased to see you – but I’m afraid you’re hurting me.”

Jamie sprang back, his hands still clutching at the Doctor’s shoulders. “Sorry.” His gaze swept up and down the Doctor, drinking in the sight of him. Checking him over, perhaps, or just reassuring himself that he was real. “But I’ve been worried sick about ye.”

“Well, I’m terribly sorry to have worried you. But I really had no alternative, you know.”

The look Jamie gave him was blisteringly sceptical. “The buildin’ was on fire!”

“And I had to retrieve those scans. Besides, I wasn’t burnt. Just knocked around a little.” The Doctor’s eyes snagged on a particular note as he gestured up to his wall, and he pulled himself away from Jamie to tug its pin free. It drifted down to the floor slowly, rocking back and forth as it went, until it landed amongst its brethren that littered the ground. Dropping the pin into a bowl with its fellows, the Doctor wandered back to take Jamie loosely by the wrists. “But now I have them, I can get to work on figuring out who we’re dealing with.” Jamie gave a nondescript little mumble. “Now – Jamie -” What was the right thing to say here? Should he say anything at all? “How did you manage to get inside?”

“Och, well -” He shouldn’t have said anything. Jamie was blushing terribly now. “I might’ve, um – I might’ve told them we were married.

“Yes. Yes, I thought I heard right.” Jamie was pulling away, and the Doctor longed to tighten his grip on his wrists and keep him there, but he forced himself to let him slip away. Best not to frighten him, he told himself, if he really hadn’t remembered. Or even if he had. It might all be new and raw. “Now, why would you say a thing like that, hm?”

“Dunno.” A shrug. Hardly the response he had been hoping for. “Just jumped into my head, that’s all. Thought they might let me in.” He had not thought Jamie could turn any redder, but somehow he managed it. “Seems to have worked alright. Only – I didnae really think about it.”

“Think about it?”

“Aye, well – we’re gonnae have to pretend tae be married now, aren’t we?”

Pretend.

He had never dreamt that one word could hurt so much.

So Jamie still could not remember, then. He really had no idea that his neat little ruse struck right at the truth. Or – alarmingly close to it, anyway. Could you really be married to someone, the Doctor thought, if they had no memory of it, and no idea that it had happened?

Not that philosophical questions were of any use. It was an ethical question, now. Could he in good faith let Jamie carry on with this little charade, knowing that it would hold a much greater significance for him? After all, Jamie had never shown even the slightest interest in him since the Time Lords had allowed them to be together again. He had wondered, at times, whether this was their revenge for the pest he had made of himself over the years. Or some fresh infliction of their regressive ideas about what was proper. It was an awfully specific block, after all, ranging over several years and filtering through memories that Jamie otherwise recalled perfectly. No matter the reason, everything that had been between them before was gone now, broken by their time apart. He had mourned for it – still mourned for it, if he was honest, but he had learned to live with it, even if it hurt. He had no choice. For all he knew, Jamie might never remember what they had been to each other for all that time.

Could he do it, then? Allow Jamie to go on pretending, while he knew it was – had been – entirely real?

It’s innocent enough, the selfish part of him was saying. And oh, how tempting that was to believe. What’s the harm in saying you’re married? It’s just words. The assignment only lasts for another week. You’ll be out of there soon, and with no harm done.

That was true, he supposed. They could forget all about it as soon as they were done, or laugh it off as a silly little mishap.

Or maybe, another part of him whispered, he’ll remember. Maybe this is what he needs to break the barrier. Acting out the truth.

Wouldn’t he like to believe that.

“Doctor?” Jamie was saying. “You’re no’ upset about it, are ye? I mean – I can go an’ tell the guard I was lyin’, I suppose, but I don’t know what they’d make of it -”

There was nothing to it, he supposed. Just words, as he had told himself before. If they should happen to hold hands or put their arms around each other in front of others, just to drive the lie home – well, it was hardly as if they didn’t do that anyway. There was no difference, really. And if he let Jamie take the lead, then it would all be on his terms. Nothing to worry about.

Except his own heartbreak. Could he really bear pretending to be Jamie’s husband, knowing that he was Jamie’s husband, and knowing that Jamie didn’t really love him back anymore? Surely it was too much for anyone to handle. And he had two hearts to break, not just one.

“Of course not,” he said at last. “You had to say something. And, ah – I did want to see you. I do want to see you. I suspect it may come in rather useful, you being able to come and go as you please.”

There was something odd in Jamie’s expression, something he could not read no matter how hard he tried. “Good,” was all he said – and then he leaned in and kissed the Doctor.

He could remember, quite clearly, the moment when Jamie had kissed him for the first time. Called him daft and leaned in and kissed him, and short-circuited his brain rather efficiently to boot. The effect was much the same this time, he thought dimly. Jamie kissed him just as he used to, softly, slowly, like he thought he might break. Idly, he reached one hand up to rub his thumb through the short hair at the back of Jamie’s neck, just where he knew he liked it. Funny, really, how little details could stick around in your memory for so long.

His brain was starting to recover now, whirring into action until it was working so fast that he was sure steam must be shooting out of his ears. Had Jamie remembered? Was this his way of saying that he remembered? No, Jamie was not one for messing around like this. He wore his heart too much on his sleeve. If he remembered, then he would have been honest about it. But then why else would he have kissed him?

Jamie pulled back first – no respiratory bypass system, the Doctor reminded himself, of course. His brain might have been working, but his body was mercifully still too shocked to automatically lean in and kiss Jamie again, no matter how much he would have liked to. No need to overwhelm him. “I’ve been waiting,” he murmured. “For – this.” His voice hitched on the last word. “For so long.”

It took him a moment to realise that Jamie had spoken at the same time, his voice breathless and his cheeks pink.

“Sorry,” he had said. “I thought – if we’re going tae – we ought tae get used to -”

Oh.

“Oh,” he said. He could only hope… Had Jamie heard? Could he pass his words off as meaning something else? You’ve really gone and dug your own grave now. “Oh, Jamie, I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t realise you -”

“I’m sorry.” Jamie was still talking over him, his voice shaky, his face well and truly red now. “I thought – I must’ve been wrong -”

“I don’t think I realised -”

“I thought ye – och, I don’t know what I thought -”

“Jamie.” The Doctor settled his hands on Jamie’s shoulders. He did not immediately pull away, at least. That was a start. “What on earth are you apologising for?”

“I thought – ye might’ve -” Jamie hung his head. “Just the way ye - I thought maybe ye… meant it for real.” The last few words came out in one hurried mumble, all running into each other. “But obviously ye didn’t, so -”

The Doctor frowned. “Meant what?”

“I don’t know!” Jamie cried, loud enough that the Doctor was sure the guard outside would be staring at the door, wondering what was going on. “Look – I got it wrong, alright. It’s fine.”

He does remember, the Doctor realised. And he doesn’t think I still love him. It was a horrifying, heart-shattering thought. That Jamie could think he could stop loving him… Well, it was unthinkable. It had been a long time since Jamie had been so doubtful of himself. But then again, so much had changed. And how should Jamie have known any different?

“Jamie,” he said, as firmly as he could. Jamie was trying to break away from him again, so he clamped his hands over his shoulders, holding him in place. “Jamie, I – I do love you. Of course I do. And I’m terribly sorry if I’ve made you doubt that, lately, but I didn’t want to, ah – push any boundaries, I wasn’t sure if -”

Jamie’s head raised, just a little. “Do ye mean that? You’re no’ just – pretendin’?”

“Of course I’m not.”

“Aye.” Jamie drew in a deep, unsteady breath. “Aye, alright.” Slowly but surely, he broke into a grin, not quite shy enough to hide his elation. “Movin’ a bit fast, then, aren’t we?”

The Doctor tilted his head. “A bit fast?’

“Well, ye know.” Jamie shrugged. “I’ve kissed ye once, an’ now here ye are sayin’ that ye love me, an’ we’re goin’ around sayin’ that we’re married.”

Ah.

Scratch the previous theory, then.

Jamie didn’t remember. Not at all. Not even the tiniest bit.

And yet there they were, about to start from scratch. But how could they, really, when he knew everything, and Jamie knew nothing? Should he tell him? Which would hurt Jamie less – keeping the secret, or telling it?

Jamie moved in to kiss him again, still slow, still soft, but smiling against his lips this time. Try as he might, he could not get himself to smile back. He ought to have been as rapturous as Jamie was. He ought to have been skipping all over the room, shouting for joy. He had missed this so terribly, missed the way Jamie loved him. Like one of the lochs back in his home, so wide and so deep and so full.

Letting his fingers trail up to the back of Jamie’s neck again, he wondered if he should pretend not to know anything. Jamie would grow suspicious, if he seemed overly familiar with him. Would it all come spilling out, messy and uncontrollable? Could he really carry on like this? Maybe he ought to put a stop to it now, nip it in the bud and keep things simple. All the hurt could stay on his side, if he was just brave.

He had never been particularly brave, though. Not like Jamie was. Yes, he had run into a burning building a few days ago, knowing it would collapse around him – but that had been stupidity, not bravery. He was a coward through and through, and he knew it well. A selfish coward.

Jamie’s hands had settled over his waist, heavy and comfortable, like they had been moulded into shape just so they could fit in that exact spot. The feeling was so familiar that he could almost pretend none of this memory block business existed. Things were exactly as they always had been. But it was funny, really, that there was no clumsiness about either of them. He had expected a little on his own part, if only from a lack of practice, though he was hardly surprised that he had fallen so easily back into the rhythm of it. Jamie, though… Jamie was kissing him like they had never been apart at all. Exactly as he had on the day they had lost each other, not at all like he had on that first day, for that first kiss.

His pyjama shirt was being pushed up on one side, Jamie’s fingers slowly working their way beneath it. An idle little motion. Not seeking anything, just clearing the way to rub little patterns on his skin. It had been a circle, all those years ago, then turned into a figure of eight after a few months, like Jamie had realised that the motion flowed more smoothly. Back and forth, back and forth. And now here he was again, tracing out not a circle but a figure of eight. As if he had already figured it out. As if he remembered.

Funny, really, how little details could stick around in your memory for so long. Even against all the odds.

Jamie was still smiling as he kissed him, and for the first time, the Doctor smiled back.

#second doctor #two/jamie #fanfic archive #my writing #fictober 2021

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chaoticowlpost · 4 years

Text

yall, when I tell you that the forces of nature did not want me to post this, fr. First, it gets deleted when my laptop randomly restarted, and then I accidentally press “answer privately” when it wasn’t finished BHDJFS

In light of those events, I sincerely apologize to @swagfictonreadingnerd not only losing your ask, but flooding your messages in panic jhbfsjbfjjsd it’s quite embarrassing, especially when I realized that there was a (not as updated) copy saved on wordcounter.net, but I hope you like it <3

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“Stay with me?”

Draco only came up to the Gryffindor tower because he had lent Harry his notes, and the only reason he agreed to enter this time was because he said he’d probably have to wait a while, alone outside, since they were probably buried under piles of stuff in his dorm.

However, as Harry was handing him the notes when he reached the bottom of the staircase in the Gryffindor common room, he took hold of Draco’s hand, brushing his thumb over the webbed skin connecting his thumb and forefinger.

“In here?” Draco clarified, eyes scanning the room. Various students from different years were still milling about the common room despite the fact that lunch had just ended and it was a weekend.

“Yeah,” Harry confirmed with a small nod. He leaned his shoulder against the wall, tugging Draco closer to him before wrapping an arm around his waist. “It beats studying in those uncomfortably library chairs.”

He had a point, Draco conceded.

“Why can’t we do it in your room?” Draco asked, keenly aware of the attention they were drawing. It was no secret that they were together, but it seems that the novelty has yet to ware off on many of the students.

“Do you really want to hear Dean and Seamus going at it?” Harry asked with a small smirk, which only widened when Draco visibly shuddered.

“Is that why you didn’t take as long as I was expecting?” he asked, feeling both amused and disturbed.

“They forgot their silencing charm,” Harry shrugged, nodding.

“We could always go down to Slytherin,” Draco offered, somewhat hopefully. “It’s most likely empty in my room.”

Despite the fact that they were whispering, their words still felt loud to Draco, even though he couldn’t properly make out what they were saying. He was just able to catch their names every now and then.

“But we’re already here,” Harry practically whinged, his thumb brushing softly over Draco’s hip. “It won’t be so bad, I promise.”

Without waiting to hear his response, he began leading them towards one of the empty sofas that were surrounding the hearth, weaving through the wide-eyed students that were still staring at the pair.

Unceremoniously, he flopped down on the sofa, spreading himself into a more comfortable position. Harry looked at him expectantly, watching as Draco fiddled with the corner of his parchments awkwardly.

He gave him an amused smile before reaching out to grab him by the wrist before pulling him towards the sofa, making him stumble and trip, landing embarrassingly on top of him with a soft grunt.

“I hate you,” Draco grumbled, trying to move so that he wouldn’t be sprawled on top of his boyfriend.

“Just give me a second,” Harry laughed, his chest rumbling from beneath him. He began shifting around, guiding Draco and himself into a more comfortable position where he was on his side, against the backrest, while holding Draco in front of him.

Draco reached down for his abandoned bag and fished for one of the books he brought with him from their quick stop to the library. He used it to try and hide his face from those who were, undoubtedly, staring at them.

“I still say we should have gone to my room,” Draco said softly, eyes set on the text, but not quite processing what it says.

“Relax,” Harry whispered, slithering an arm around his waist and pulling him closer to his chest. “I’ll let you study in peace, if it helps.”

“It most certainly does not,” Draco responded haughtily, earning himself a laugh from Harry. It didn’t, because suddenly Harry’s fingers were playing with his hair, and that was all he could focus on after that.

He didn’t respond after that, except for a small hmph, and tried to force himself to digest the contents of his book. He wasn’t about to let his grades drop because Harry wanted to cuddle. In public, no less.

Except, maybe he’d consider, because Harry was peppering soft kisses behind his ear, slowly moving up towards the top of his head while his fingers continued twirling a lock of hair between them.

“Stop that,” Draco protested halfheartedly. It felt quite nice, actually, despite the heating of his face.

“Why?” Harry murmured into the base of his neck. Draco felt him grin against his sin before propping himself on his elbow to lean over and place a kiss on Draco’s cheek.

“You’re making people stare,” Draco hisses, not wanting to be heard. He was pretty sure he heard some 4th Years giggle, though.

“Then stop paying attention to them,” Harry hummed. “Let them stare. You’re my boyfriend, so they ought to get used to it.”

Boyfriend.

The fluttering of his heart whenever Harry called him that would likely never cease, and Harry knew that. Draco was pretty sure he took advantage of that fact as often as he could, because that’s the only possible explanation for why he was still sitting there on that sofa while people stared.

“It’s not proper, Potter,” he hissed, not wanting to be heard by the other occupants in the room. He was pretty sure he heard Harry snort softly.

“Fine, then,” Harry said. Draco felt his body shift from behind him, and he half-expected Harry to just get up so that they could more to a more private location.

He was about to apologize and just give in before he was manhandled, the arm around his waist tightening as he was hauled up until he was fully rested on Harry’s chest, their noses brushing against one another’s.

“This is not better,” he glared, feeling his face heat up once again. He felt quite bad for those people that decided to enter their common room at that moment, only to be greeted with the sight of the two of them.

“Give me a second,” Harry snorted before wriggling a bit to the side, rolling over and dropping Draco in the newly formed space between him and the backrest of the sofa.

“I don’t see how this is better,” Draco huffed, still clutching his book. Harry rolled onto his side before returning his arm to its previous position, holding him close.

In this position, Draco was mostly hidden by the backrest of the sofa, and anything else left exposed was mostly covered by Harry, who had taken it upon himself to practically drape his body over Draco’s.

“This is.... adequate,” Draco huffed, finding himself slowly smiling at the situation.

“Good,” Harry beamed, placing a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “So, can you focus on your studying, now?”

Draco thought it was quite silly of him to think that he would return to studying. He was warm, comfortable, and in the arms of his boyfriend.

He was going to nap.

“Sure,” he said anyway, not making any move to re-open his book, Instead, he snuggled deeper into Harry’s chest, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

Again, another laugh from Harry. The hand returned to his head, playing with his hair once more while Harry whispered sweet words into his ear.

And somehow, the feeling of everyone’s eyes on them, and the soft murmurs probably preparing the latest gossip, faded into nothing as he allowed himself to be engulfed by the comfort of just being with Harry.

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#hp #harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry #drarry ficlet #request #fluff #drarry fanfic #8th year #im so sorry to swagfictonreadingnerd

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