#i dont have anxiety that makes me shy i have anxiety that makes tiny things a fucking sysiphean task
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#i feel awful and im hoping venting will make me feel better#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i have to make a phone call and its fucking me up so bad for some reason#i was so upset about taking the wrong day off that i just went back to sleep#ive been putting this off all day and i think it's making it worse#i dont have anxiety that makes me shy i have anxiety that makes tiny things a fucking sysiphean task#i hate thisssssssssssssssss
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MLP MYM LIVE BLOG
Ep one!!!
-THE MARE-STREAM!!!
-Sunny making sure Misty is okay EEE!!
-The way Hitch looks at pipp oooooo!!!!
-AWW HITCH DOING THE DEEP AND MANLY VOICE, I love how much of a dork he isss
-oh noo shes anxious :((
-“smooth sailing!” *immediate storm* Its the little things in this show i love <3
-HEY THEY ACKNOWLEDGED IT
-THE INTRO!!! Oh how I’ve missed you!!!
-OOO SONG!!! CATCHY!!
-AW HITCH IS THE ONLY ONE NOT GROOVING CMON MAN
-Little SunIzzy moment (they’re standing together)
-OH YEA SPARKY ISNT HERE
-AWWW MAMA FIGGY
-Convinced Sunny only suggested that bc she’s been BURSTING to share that story
-ALSO TINY SUNNY I MISSED YOU WE HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE THE MOVIE!!
-She loved sellin shit even as a kid <3
-ARGYLE!!!! MY MAN!!!!!!!!!!
-Aw they couldn’t get his actual voice actor it seems (not even the one from tyt :()
-WAIT WHY DOES SHE HAVE THE YELLOW EYESHADOW AS A KID THATS RECENT I SMELL A CONTINUITY ERROR!!!!!!!!!!!
-jkjk maybe her dad put it on her, or she snuck into the makeup cabinet <33
-AWW SHES SO CUTE
-Aww siblings bickering <3
-AWW TINY ZIPP AND PIPP ARE CUTEE
-Epic <3
-That wasn’t flying! That was falling with style!!! /ref
-WONDERBOLT
-DONT USE YOUR DOG AS A TISSUE QUEEN HAVEN!!
-HITCH IS SOO CUTE
-SPROUT!
-OH so sprout’s talent IS kindness! Glad to know that! Like a knight in shining armor!!
-IZZY MY BELOVED
-That water animation,,, I did say it was SLOWLY getting better in the animation department…Slowly—
-Misty has social anxiety, we are the sameee
-She talks to herself! Just like me!!!
-IM JUST SAYING…T4T Zipitch it could work
-MAKEOVER!!!!!
-HA people pleaser sunny <3
-The red doesn’t work for me either
-I like the green!!
-AND THERE WE HAVE HER NEW MANE!!! I love itt
-Sunny being concerned :(((
-DONT LIE MISTY!! THEYLL UNDERSTAND!!
-OPALINE!!! I love herr
-YUP that will be a tad awkward but shell get through it!!
-Pipp my dramatic queen
-AWW THEYRE NICE!!!
-Aww Haven being encouraging
-It does look weird, them using utensils
-OH HAVEN IM SURE SHE DOESNT WANNA UNLOAD HER TRAUMA ON A BUNCH OF KIDS
-YOU ARE CUT OUT FOR THIS WORLD MISTY!!!
-Oh so we know opaline was never gonna give misty her cutie mark, nice nice
-YIPPEE
-trottie-talkies THAT IS SO CUTE
-POSEY!
-AWW ITS OKAY TO BE SHY MISTY
-NOO DONT CRY
-See I love how they tell her its okay!! In g4 I’m sure they wouldn’t done an ep telling her to just go out there and be confident but here they can be like “yeah! Its okay to be nervous! We can do something else!”
-SONG
-THEYRE CONCERNED ABT HER AAAA
AAAA THAT WAS SO GOOD
EP 2
-TINY MISTY????
-Those pancakes look sooo good
-Sunny trying to comfort the situation!!
-Sunny and Zipp act like a bickering married couple sometimes
-Aww yk Haven and Alphabittle are a cute couple ngl
-OUGH HES LOOKING FOR HIS DAUGHTER!!! FOR MISTY!!!
-TELL HER!!! DONT HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!!
-THEY ALL RUSH IN TO COMFORT HER :(((
-BREEZIES!!
-They all have the same hairstyle, reminds me of g3
-I wonder if the shit theyre saying actually means something if you slow it down, probs not but yk
-I have a feeling that Misty’s trauma with Opaline cause her to forget all this, maybe push it back deep in her head as a way to cope?
-Breezies using phones THE HORROR!!
-Ipad kids breezie edition
-Ur so funny sunny :)
-THE KEY FROM THE TRAILER
-ARG CLIFFHANGER
EP 3!!!
-SPARKY MAGIC!!!
-DRAGON LORE???
-AWW misty and sparky siblings arcc
-SONG
-Aww misty being selfless!!
-After sparky!!
-DRAGON LAND!!!
-it looks a lot more…Grassy compared to g4!
-No dragons…Ooooo
-BATS
-Ooo so we might get an episode abt hitch having to let sparky go!
-Look at pipp being smart!!
-LOOK AT THEM PUTTING TWO AND TWO TOGETHER!!
-OUGH HAPPY REUNION IM CRYING
-I THOUGHT THE THEORIST WERE CRAZY BUT THEY WERE RIGHT MANNN
-Im wondering how misty met opaline tho!! We knew she “rescued” misty but how??? I NEED ANSWERS!!
-I guess this also makes misty pipp and zipp’s step sisters! Sorry shippers!
-HITCH WITH A RAINBOW MANE LOOKS SO COOL
OKAY OKAY ILL WATCH THE REST TOMORROW BUT AAAA I LOVED THAT!!!
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hihi!! how are you i hope ur day is going good i really like ur matchups! if ur up to it could i get one for twst? im 17, genderqueer (im just vibing), and autistic so even though i really love interacting with people it gives me anxiety so i can tend to be shy and quiet when im interacting with new people. i tend to act upbeat and cheerful yet kinda toned down around people i dont know really well and it takes a lot of trust for me to fully open up but when i do i can tend to be louder than i realize i am and energetic i can tend to be too much sometimes though without realizing because its hard for me to pick up on subtle social ques. im actually pretty pessimistic internally and expect the worst so i dont get my hopes up but i always try to cheer up the people around me because it just makes me happy i guess. because im bad at social interaction i actually was bullied a lot as a kid and never really made any friends, even know i dont feel close to the friends i have. i never really ask for help or open up about stuff im going through to people im close to because i feel like if im a burden to any extent everyone will leave me alone. i can tend to be really really quiet most of the time because social interaction makes me really tired and even when i talk i can tend to talk quietly because i dont want to be too loud. i really love just about any kind of crafty hobby (art, crochet, sewing, embroidery, ect) because i love making things for people i care about. music is really important to me, im in a music theory class rn and i want to compose all kinds of music. i love cooking and baking, i especially love learning new recipes. i also really love games and puzzles, anything from minecraft to chess to dark souls. also when i have a crush on someone its always extremely obvious because i say what i think without much of a filter. sorry this was so long thank you for taking the time to read this, have a wonderful day :)
Okay first off you sound like one of the sweetest people ever and I want you to know you're amazing and your friends are lucky to have you, and I mean it:),
I match you with..
..
...Kalim!
Literally a match made in heaven, he saw how energetic you were around the a
Adeuce trio and Jamil made a joke "oh look it's your other half" he took it seriously and ran to you, he tried to strike a conversation with you, the first time it was awkward since around new people it's not easy to open up right away and start vibing right the instant, tho as time flew by you grew closer and closer, the most cheerful and joyous couple anyone has ever come across in NRC, people really question why you aren't in RSA;
Kalim always treats you amazingly and he makes SURE you know he loves you and that you are not a burden to him, he makes everyday of your life more colourful, you guys are like 2 sea otters, just happy being close to eachother;
With him you can be open about anything because bro is literally an angel, he's the sweetest and kindest person you've ever met, hell he even forgave someone who backstabbed him *cough* *cough* Jamil *cough*
HE LOVES MUSIC TOOO he's in a band and often invites you to watch their practice or even join them! Literally indulges in ANY hobby of yours, sewing cute tiny hats for grim, playing games with you, teaching you some of the recipes from his family! You 2 very often bake in the kitchen together
You 2 are the most wholesome couple anyone laid their eyes upon( ◜‿◝ )♡
Thank you for the request dear annon, may you have a wonderful year<3
#twisted wonderland#x reader#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#kalim x reader#kalim twst#twst fluff#match maker
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*pops in* hii! I hope i can still ask for the match up. I... I may have go over the edge with this.. but the last time i ask for match up i had to add some stuff so.. I am really not sure how long or short it should be and I hope i did not somehow messed it up 🥺. I am sorry if I did.
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I am INFP. I love helping people and it took me some time to learn that I need to take care of myself too. When i was 14 I was forced to step up and take care of household and several sick family members so now, in adulthood I have hard time with feeling okay when i am sick.
I love music, I used to dance for 14 years but had to stop. Lately I am learning how to sing. I can play soprano recorder too.
I am the shoulder to cry on for my friends, but also the type who you can call when there is a dead body to hide xD. I can and will protect my friends - even tho i am only 153cm lol. Tiny.
I struggle with selflove, depression, insomnia and anxiety but I am learning. I have bunch of scars and its long process of not hating them.
I was told I am the "mum friend" 😅.
I am crazy, usually tomboy, girl, who is shy with new people(and especially around a bunch of people.. social anxiety am i right) but absolutely batshit crazy when you will get to know me. Amd sweet. I like to think that i am kind, nice and sweet. (But does not take a bullshit..sometimes)
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Have a lovely day! I hope you slept good.
How are you?
Bye ❤️
(p.s. pls dont push yourself if you wouldnt feel like doing this)
I completely relate to most of this, my love, so I feel it! Just know you are beautifully amazing and I love you and love having you around~!
Shanks
Shanks is a good noodle and one of your ideal matches based off your personality! He will be great for your moments of self doubt and self hatred as he will remind you how amazing you are! He hates when people ridicule the things he loves, and that includes you!
He also understands being the “parent” of the crew, while he may appear childish, he has a lot of maturity to him and can be a great resource for people when they want to vent or talk about their feelings, and that means for you too!
He also is an extrovert, so he doesn’t mind talking for you or being your translator! He can also sense when enough is enough and swish you away from all the craziness!
Sanji
Sanji is another one of your ideal matches and another extrovert! I think he would be great to help build your confidence as he loves everything about you and if you tell him something makes you uncomfortable, he listens!
He also knows what it’s like not like yourself and self esteem issues, so he lets you know he loves you and will do his best to be understanding and comfort you!
He’s also a big brother figure to Chopper and sometimes Luffy, so he can see and admire you for being the mom in the friend group, he will joke he is the dad and gets all blushy after!
Boa
Boa is the best girl and is also the best girl for you!! She understands the self doubt and depression, though she masks hers under arrogance, she has her moments where only you can see her true colors.
She is loyal to a T and will never give you reason to doubt her which will help with you confidence and self esteem! She wants you to see how beautiful you are and will do anything in her power to show you it!
She might not understand your need to help others, but she does admire you for it! However, she wants you to be careful not to get taken advantage of and will do her best to guard you from any potential danger!!
#tsunderedoctor#ask#op match up#Red Hair Shanks#red haired shanks#akagami no shanks#shanks op#shanks#vinsmoke sanji#black leg sanji#sanji op#sanji#boa hancock#boa op#boa#one piece#one piece x reader
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Hey, if you're still doing the matchup event!
im a perfectionist with an abrasive attitude, super blunt communication style, and brash&crude sense of humour. i like to play a more mellow part in group interactions tho, since i dont like being the center of attention cuz anxiety lol. i come off as a little rude sometimes with the way i refuse to mince words but im always fair and i never say things without explaining my logic and reasoning for words/decisions/actions. im not shy by any means but my social anxiety kinda makes me an asshole so i try to be more reserved than outgoing. also im 150cm, dark 3c hair, dark eyes, olive skin, full lips, and curvy.
favourite song rn: the predatory wasp of the palisades are out to get us by sufjan stevens
*whispering* kinks: being physically dominated, degredation (receiving&giving), being restrained, and general predator/prey stuff
Match-up Event Masterlist
I match you with...
𝐇𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐬!
Don't worry about your social anxiety, or about being the center of the attention. Although you will be the center of his, he'll gladly perform using his perfect, golden hero persona in public so that you can relax while everyone coos at him rather than you. If group interactions make you uncomfortable, he'll end them as soon as they start using his handsome grin and heavy charisma, all while discreetly holding your hand in his, thumb gently caressing yours, ever the reassuring hero for you. He doesn't mind the harsher side of your personality, accepts it with a smile instead and nods at every one of your explanations. He even goes as far as calling you his kitten for it; cute, so tiny next to him, and yet, gifted with sharp claws and devastating fangs. He's a hawk, though, a predator that would feast on such a tiny feline, so he relishes in that (adorable, according to him) side of your personality instead of fearing it.
He loves taking you flying, tumbling towards the sky until the two of you feel like you're drowning in the infinite sea of stars that stretches above the city. He carries you like he would carry his bride (hoping that someday, he'll be able to call you exactly that), and keeps his eyes on you the whole time, fascinated by the little sparkles lighting in your irises as you look at the world from above. Sometimes, you fall asleep in his arms as he flies, and he'll quietly hum your favorite songs as a lullaby so that you feel the most peaceful in his embrace.
As previously stated, Hawks is a predator. His instincts are the strongest when he takes you to bed, when he sees your naked form, when you lay underneath him, such a cute little prey ready to be feasted on. He doesn't leave you any control, because that's not in his nature and, of course, because you enjoy it that way, too. He'll use ropes, handcuffs, even his feathers sometimes to restrain you so that he can take what he's owed after the thrilling chase that was seducing you into letting him have you. Such an adorable little prey, he'll coo, breath warm against your skin as he whispers in your ear. You'll give me what I want, wont you? Then, as he leans even lower towards you, sharp canines nipping at your neck, he'll tell you, threat heavy in his voice, lustful cruelty dripping from his words: "I'll devour you whole."
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Please tell me if you liked it ♡
#hawks#hawks x reader#takami keigo#hawks headcanons#hawks smut#bnha smut#mha smut#bnha x reader#mha x reader#takami keigo x reader#mha headcanons#bnha headcanons#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#my hero academia smut#boku no hero academia smut#my hero academia headcanons#boku no hero academia headcanons#sunny celebrates#sunny's match up event
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This is a bit random, but could you do some headcannons for Armin encouraging his S/O to finish their meals? I absolutely love food dont get me wrong, but sometimes I'll get super anxious about eating lunch or dinner for absolutely no reason. I feel like Armin would be the absolute best advocate for his S/O's health!
I don't usually skip turns in doing requests but this one seemed really important, so of course I'd love to do that💛
And hey don't worry, you don't have to feel like you owe me a explanation or a justification for why. I've been there, i know how hard it can get and how even your favourite food seems too much and there is a sour taste in your mouth.
Mental illness sucks man, but we have to cope with it in any way we can. And Armin would 100% help you with that! He'd love and care for you and your health so much!
Armin encouraging you to eat HC
{ Armin x reader | tw:eating problems tw: anxiety | comfort | modern }
{ "Still Life of Oranges" 1863 by Rafael Romero Barros 1832-1895 }
First thing first, Armin would never ever try to pressure you into finishing a meal or guilt trip you. He understands the struggle, he wouldn't try to lecture nor criticise you.
Yes he's concerned and worried, yes he got sad thinking about how your health will suffer. And yet he knows there is a much bigger reason behind it, that you're an adult with complex emotions and not a child being stubborn. He'd never force you nor blame it on you.
Instead he'll be understanding, paitent and supportive. He will make it clear that he's here for you, that he cares about you and he believes in you.
that he’ll be there in whatever way you need, whenever you’re ready. He'll listen without judgment if you're willing to talk about it.
He'd just gently express his concern over your health instead of trying to offer solutions or lecture you. He will remind you how much he loves you, how much he wants to help if you allow him.
Instead he'd just be there with you, have breakfast in bed, spend lunch time together, maybe go out for dinner. He'll eat with you and wait for you to finish your food while telling you a whole lot of interesting stories.
He knows it's not a simple as it seems, that saying "just eat" won't solve anything and it actually belittles the whole experience.
Armin wouldn't allow anyone to say that to you.
Maybe give you a bite or two of his own food, feeding it to you and giving you a small kiss after.
And if you can't finish your food still, don't worry! He reassures you that you don't have to finish it in one setting, you can just take the plate with you or save it for some time later and gradually finish it.
He'd reheat it for you each time, wanting you to have warm food with something to drink.
Armin would also suggest dividing it into small bite sized servings, just eat this tiny bite. It would be much easier and less overwhelming! Can you take another bite for him? Just one.
Does eating fruits seem too much? It's okay! He'll just put them in a blender and make a smoothie, much easier to finish.
Having built a routine to text you daily beforehand, he'd add reminding you to eat in that text! He'd even send a picture of his own food, doing the peace sign with his hand or maybe a shy half heart and asking you to do the same.
Turns eating outside into an adventure! He'll bring you to new restaurants so both of you could try new dishes together, some from different cultures and others from different countries. He'd even get Sasha's opinions on which dishes to try, you know she knows the best restaurants in the country.
And if you don't finish a dish at a restaurant, even a really expensive one. He wouldn't be bothered at all, he'd just ask the waiter if he can take it as take out so you both could snack on it later.
When the two of you go on walks, he'd pack some sandwiches for you to enjoy while watching the ducks swim in the lake at the park, or maybe while watching the sun go down into the sea at the beach.
Additionally, he always comes back with snacks whenever he goes outside. Bringing you your favourite candy bar and drink, maybe some chips and popcorn to watch a movie together.
Being decent enough at cooking, he'd try to learn how to make your favourite food, experimenting with the seasoning and ingredients. He'd make it for you whenever you're having a rough day and your brain just won't cooperate.
He really knows how it feels, he's been there.
When serving you what he made, he'll tell you that one of the ingredients is his love, with the sweetest smile you've seen.
Tries to keep things new, like making a special day of the week dedicated for something, maybe pizza, maybe tacos, maybe sushi or maybe whatever your heart desires.
Is something stressing you out so now you lost your appetite? Armin will sit with you and let you vent and talk about it till you feel better, he will hold your hand through it and comfort you after. When he's sure you're better he'd suggest grabbing a bite.
If you're dealing with anxiety, he'll share his own experience and can relate to you. He'll be so understanding and non judgemental because he knows just how hard it is.
Makes it a habit more than it already was to remind me how much he loves you, he adores you, all of you.
How much you brighten his day, how much he smiles just at the mention of your name, how many times a day he can't help but think about you.
To him the definition of beauty begins with your name, you're absolutely beautiful to the core and he believes it in his soul.
Armin is a pacifist but he will fight for his beliefs, and that's one of them.
{ Note: I just finished wirting this and I'm going to go get something to eat rn, so if you grab a bite while reading this then we would be eating together, and I'd love to eat with a friend💛 }
#armin🕯#aot🕯#comfort🕯#modern aot🕯#Armin#armin alert#armin aot#armin arlet x reader#armin x reader#armin x y/n#armin headcanons#armin x you#aot#aot x reader#aot x y/n#snk#snk x reader#snk x you#comfort#tw: eating problems#tw: anxiety
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Friends-to-lovers!au | sungyoon
Word count: ~3.5k
Summary: where you fall head over heels in love with your best friend, choi sungyoon, and jangjun secretly becomes your wingman.
Note: I saw that theres a lack of golden child stories on here, so I wanted to change that! This is my first time posting an au on tumblr, so hopefully it turns out fine. Feel free to send in requests for any other aus you want to see from the golden child members. Enjoy!
12:39 AM
Y/N: sungyoon
Y/N: sungyoon ah
Y/N: hellooooo
12:45 AM
Y/N: sungyoon
Y/N: okay fine dont answer me
Y/N: :(
Y/N: meanie
12:51 AM
Y/N: choi
Y/N: sung
Y/N: yoon
Y/N: !!!!!!
🐰: do uk what time it is rn
Y/N: you finally answered!!!
Y/N: i cant sleep
🐰: just close your eyes
Y/N: if it was that easy I wouldn’t msg u :’(
🐰: we have class at 8 tmr
🐰: count sheep or bunnies or something
🐰: goodnight
Y/N: i finally got a reply and you’re leaving already??
Y/N: hey! did you really go back to sleep?
12:59 AM
Y/N: fine
Y/N: so much for a best friend
Y/N: who wont help you sleep
Y/N: so mean :(((
Y/N: im only buying ice cream for daeyeol now
1:12 AM
🐰 has sent you a voice message
1:14 AM
Incoming call: 🐰mr rabbit csy🐰
You jump from your bed, “Hello?”
“Come outside.”
You quickly throw on a hoodie on and rush outside, your eyes adjusting to the darkness of the night. Your eyes don’t have to wander for long before landing on a raven haired male, his hoodie flopped over his messy hair. He looks disgruntled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he lets out a yawn. Oops, you definitely woke him up.
You quickly walk up to him, and before you can greet him, are met with a plastic bag offered to you.
“I bought your favorite— green tea flavored.” Your eyes widen before rustling through the contents, pulling out said ice cream.
“Yah, you bought ice cream at this time?” You rip open the wrapper, taking a huge bite of the creamy treat and sigh with delight, “Did you really feel threatened by me buying ice cream for Daeyeol? I was kidding! Well, actually if he asked I probably would, but wow I actually managed to get you to buy me ice cream.”
He ignores you, watching silently as you quickly devour the dessert before pulling out a napkin once he notices the mess that you’ve made on your face.
“Hey!” You whine as he wipes at the corners of your mouth. You try not to lean into the warmth of his touch that you feel even through the napkin; it’s a crisp night after all. You will your cheeks to not grow warm, but your ears quickly glow red instead.
“You’re so messy,” he sighs, finally pulling away and taking note of how you’re unusually quiet. Usually, you would playfully push his hand away, complaining that you weren’t a baby, but your head is turned away, eyes downcast at your shoes. You can see that he’s trying to meet your eyes, but you can’t look at him, not with your heart pounding a mile a minute, nervous and slightly embarrassed.
Pat. You look up as his hand rubs the top of your hair gently, carefully caressing your head through your locks.
“Are you nervous because of the presentation tomorrow? Is that why you can’t sleep?” He muses softly, eyes still trying to meet yours. You grow shy, extremely shy, but shift your eyes to meet his for a brief second before looking away. His eyes dripped of warm honey, enveloping you in a feeling only he could ever have on you.
Seeing you avert your eyes, he takes that as a yes, and brings you closer to him by a tug of the arm. You squeak in surprise, suddenly finding yourself enveloped in his arms. Warmness spreads through your body like a blazing fire, now being fueled by the beating of your heart.
The things you do to me, you think as your arms slowly wrap around his waist, hugging him back. You take in his scent, a scent you’ve come to recognize as familiar and comforting, ever since you met him freshman year.
“I know you have a lot of stage anxiety, but you’ve gotten so much better at public speaking. You’ll do great tomorrow, don’t worry.” Even his voice is warm, his comforting words becoming even more meaningful.
Stage fright was the last thing on your mind at the current moment, but he didn’t have to know that.
If you don’t let me go soon, my heart’s going to explode.
Instead, you nod, allowing yourself to rest your head against his chest. You can feel his heartbeat through his hoodie; a tiny voice in the back of your mind wonders if you have the same effect on him that he has on you.
You stay like that for a while, his arms bringing you closer when you shiver from an incoming breeze.
You wish you could stay like this forever, but you now realize how late it must be, and he’s right, you do have a presentation tomorrow morning, and you do suffer from stage fright still.
“Ah thanks. I’m fine now, I swear,” you start blabbering, reluctantly pulling away from his embrace. You suddenly feel bad; you made him get out of bed for no reason, and he brought you ice cream, “Sorry for troubling you, Sungyoon-ah.”
He sees a pout forming on your face, and he studies you closely.
“I’m your best friend, Y/N, isn’t it my job to make you feel better,” he tilts his head, but doesn’t question you further as you widen the gap between the two of you.
You stare at him blankly before finally smiling at his words, “Sorry, you’re right. I guess the nerves are keeping me awake. But I do feel better now! Thanks for coming, and ah- for the ice cream! I swear I won’t buy any for Daeyeol, only for you, since it seems to bother you so much,” you try to tease him in an attempt to lighten up the mood.
He smiles back, relieved that you seem to be acting normal again. Little did he know, his smile was making your stomach do summersaults, but you tried to push past it as he let out a chuckle.
“Go get some rest, okay? You have a big day ahead,” he ruffles your hair, laughing as you swat his hand away.
“My hair,” you whine, but nevertheless, grin back at him.
“Bye, Sungyoon-ah!””
“Bye Y/N, make sure to wake up on time.”
He waits until you reach the door of your building before turning around and heading back in the direction of his dorm.
As you enter your room, you immediately fling yourself onto your bed and scream into your pillow, kicking your legs.
“Can my heart not do that for once,” you whine, settling on your side as you hug a pillow to your chest.
You allow a smile to spread across your face after a while, cheeks once again flushing red as you remember the feeling of him embracing you.
“I wonder if you feel the same way I feel about you?”
You didn’t know when it had happened, but somewhere along the way, you had fallen in love with your best friend.
---------------
“Y/N!!” You turn around at the sound of your name, yelping as someone jumps on you, almost making you lose your balance.
“Jangjun!” You shove him off of you as he laughs. You turn around and see Donghyun and Joochan following close behind, concentrating on their phones as they play Kart Rider probably. You stare at them for a bit before messing with their phones, randomly touching their screens. They complain in unison, swatting your hands away as you chuckle.
“Did you just get out of class, Y/N?” Jangjun bounces from foot to foot, looking as happy as ever. You shake your head.
“I got out a while ago. I’m just waiting for Sungyoon to get out of class. I promised him I’d buy him ice cream-”
“What, you never buy us ice cream,” Joochan cuts in, finally looking up from his phone as Donghyun shouts in victory.
“Do you want to come with? I’m sure Sungyoon wouldn’t mind,” Joochan quickly shakes his head, holding his hands up.
“I don’t want to be a third wheel on your date, but thanks though,” You sputter at his words, heat quickly rising to your cheeks. Jangjun bursts out laughing at the look on your face, and it takes all your willpower to not punch him.
“D-Date? Sungyoon and I aren’t like that,” You finally manage to say, but your ears are still burning in embarrassment. The three boys look at you expectantly and you grow even more self-conscious, holding your hands up in defense, “Why are you all staring at me like that? It’s true!”
“Anyway, are you going to the fireworks display tonight? I heard it’s going to be really nice. Our school really went all out planning the event!” Jangjun asks, his tone still teasing. You sigh in defeat, but are grateful for the topic change.
“Oh, was that tonight?” You think about the number of assignments you have piled up and grimace, “I don’t know, I kind of got a lot of work to do-”
Jangjun quickly waves you off, “Nonsense! You need to relax once in a while, Y/N.”
As you’re forming a reply, his eyes focus on something behind you and an evil grin appears on his face.
“Oh! Sungyoon hyung, great timing! Y/N is dying to go to the firework display tonight!” Your eyes widen in horror as you realize who exactly Jangjun spotted behind you, “She’s too scared to go alone though, so she wants you to-”
“Lee Jangjun, I swear, I will end you-” You try to whisper threateningly, but he pays you no mind as he waves at who you now know is Sungyoon, finally coming out of his class. Both Joochan and Donghyun are laughing hysterically behind Jangjun, and in that moment, you’ve never wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole more.
“Hm?” You turn your head as Sungyoon comes to stand next to you. You simply gape at him, at a loss for words as he turns in his head to you curiously, “You wanted to go to that?”
“I- uh, well,” You try your best to muster up an answer, but to no avail. Curse you, Lee Jangjun!
He takes a long look at your face, definitely questioning why you’re acting so strange, before shrugging, “Sure, why not? I think it’ll be fun. Are you guys going?”
You silently plead with Jangjun, staring at him intently. Jangjun hums in thought, deciding to spare you a little.
“Yeah, we’ll be there,” You sigh in relief, not noticing Sungyoon sneak a glance at you.
---------------
“It’s not a date, it’s not a date, it’s not a date,” you repeat to yourself multiple times as you get ready. Yet, you can’t help putting more attention to your outfit, making sure your hair looks at least presentable. As you put on a touch of makeup, you frown. It’s not like this is the first time you’ve hung out with Sungyoon, let alone in a group- he’s your best friend! It is the first time in a while though, as you both have been very busy with school and extracurriculars lately.
“Get your head out of the gutter, Y/N,” You slap your cheeks, “You haven’t hung out with your friends in a while; It’ll be fun!”
---------------
“There he is,” You see Sungyoon leaning against a wall, his eyes glued to his phone. You quietly make your way to him, being extra careful to not get noticed. Once you’re close enough, you tiptoe and lean in close to his ear.
“Boo!”
“Oh, you’re here.”
You pout as Sungyoon simply turns his head in your direction, slipping his phone into his pocket.
“You didn’t even flinch,” You complain, feeling disgruntled. He snorts, pushing off the wall to fully face you. His eyes settle on your figure, making you nervously shift your weight from foot to foot. Silence envelops you as he continues to stare.
“Is there something on my face?” You try to break the silence, feeling shy under his gaze. He tilts his head before humming thoughtfully.
“You look nice,” Your cheeks grow hot almost immediately upon hearing his compliment. You don’t dare meet his eyes, knowing that you would probably combust. Instead, your eyes settle on your shoes, finding them very interesting.
“Ah- thanks,” You squeak out, racking your brain for an appropriate response, “We haven’t hung out in a while, so I thought I would dress up a little more? To not look like a sleep deprived college student, you know-”
Shoot, you were starting to ramble. Quickly shaking your head, you try to change the subject, “Where’s Jangjun and the others?”
“Did they not tell you?” You look up at his words, confused. Seeing the puzzled expression on your face, he continues, “Jangjun said they were going to be late. Something about Joochan and Donghyun fighting over this game, and they’re pretty serious about it.”
You stop yourself from screaming at the world.
“Let me message Jangjun real quick.” He nods his head as you take your phone out of your pocket. He doesn’t miss how your mood has soured upon learning of the absence of your friends.
6:49 PM
Y/N: Lee
Y/N: Jangjun
Y/N: You are dead.
Y/N: When I find you, you better run
🐮: Woah, Y/N, calm down!
🐮: We’ll only be an hour or two late, no biggie :9
🐮 : Have fun on your date tho~ But not too much fun, okay?
🐮 : ;))))
“I’m going to murder that guy,” You curse underneath your breath, letting out a big sigh as you put your phone back in your pocket.
“Everything okay?” You jump, remembering where you are. Sungyoon has an unreadable expression on his face as he studies you, and you try not to get too caught up in his gaze.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You try to reassure him, but your smile is weak, “Let’s just go.”
You both start walking towards the food stands at the entrance of the field, trying not to get too caught up in your nerves.
It’s not a date. It’s not.
“Y/N?” You look up, and find Sungyoon farther ahead than you thought he was. It’s suddenly crowded as everyone is trying to get food before the show starts. As someone pushes past you, Sungyoon’s hand reaches out to grasp your wrist and pulls you close to him.
“Be careful, it’s really crowded here.” Your head automatically nods, not trusting your voice to say anything as all your attention goes to the grip he has on your wrist. His hand lowers until your palms touch, and he squeezes your hand. His hold is gentle and warm, making butterflies dance in your stomach. You let yourself be dragged by the pull of his hand as he weaves through the crowd.
The time spent at the food stands is relatively enjoyable. Both of you haven’t eaten before coming, so you allow yourselves to look through all the stalls, buying all the food you want. You easily share your food and quickly fall into a comfortable pace, laughing and finally relaxing.
You do notice that once your hands are empty, Sungyoon reaches out to grasp the one closest to him. You convince yourself that it’s because he doesn’t want you to get lost, having experienced your lack of sense of direction first-hand. Still, you allow yourself a bit of giddiness, glancing down at your hands occasionally.
Having filled your stomachs, you both finally settle down on one of the provided picnic blankets laid out on the grass, the show nearing its start time.
As you hum absentmindedly, taking a picture of the darkening sky with your phone, you see Sungyoon staring at you from the corner of your eye. You turn your head in his direction, tilting your head, “What?”
He shakes his head, propping his chin on his hand, “Nothing, it’s just…”
“Hm?”
“I’m glad you’re having a good time,” He finally says after a long pause, turning his head to look up at the sky, “I feel like you’ve been distant lately? Not that I blame you, school is in full swing after all. But you’ve definitely been acting a little strange; I thought the stress was getting to you.”
He then turns to you, suddenly smiling, “But you seem to be in a better mood now, so I’m happy.”
Your eyes widen in surprise, the nature of his words dawning on you.
You really messed up, didn’t you?
Before you can respond, a loud horn goes off, signaling the start of the fireworks show. You both turn to look up the night sky as one after another, balls of colored flame shoot up and explode with a giant pop.
You lower your eyes to stare at Sungyoon, the fireworks casting various hues of color on his face, highlighting his features. You didn’t realize it, but you had probably grown more distant as your feelings for him bloomed, becoming too nervous to simply hang out with him anymore. And here he was, just happy that you were finally having a good time with him.
What a best friend you are.
You’re suddenly overwhelmed, feeling guilty for having worried him, yet grateful that he’s still the same Sungyoon that you met back in freshman year, the same person who is in tune with your feelings no matter the situation, who at the end of the day just seeing you happy makes him happy; he’s the one you fell in love with.
Before you can even process what you’re about to say, your mouth opens.
“Sungyoon-ah. I like you.”
You clasp your hand over your mouth, your eyes widening in surprise. Did you just-
You quickly bury your face in your arms, your face blazing. Your heart feels like it’s going to explode out of your ribcage, the embarrassment hitting you in waves.
You did not just confess, you did not, you did not-
“Y/N.” You refuse to look up, afraid of what you’d just done. You just confessed to your friend, your best friend! You feel tears well up in your eyes at the possibility of having ruined your friendship.
“Hey, look at me,” His voice is surprisingly gentle, not the tone you were expecting at all. You mentally count to ten in your head before gathering enough courage to look up at him. Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes finally meet his, his face growing closer to yours.
“Can you repeat what you said?” He asks, not breaking eye contact with you as your body grows hot, keeping his gaze steady. The fireworks up in the sky are long forgotten as you visibly gulp before clearing your throat.
“I- I like you, Choi Sungyoon,” You muster out, willing yourself to not look away, “I like you a lot.”
The anticipation makes your stomach drop; you can hear your heart pounding wildly in your ear as you wait for his response. He gazes at you for a while before smiling.
“I like you, too.” He says easily, leaving you utterly shocked. He looks away as you gape at him, not believing your ears. He raises a hand to his nose, scratching it awkwardly.
“Wait- what- I-” Your mouth can’t keep up with your thoughts, your mind an absolute mess, “Did you- huh?”
It warms your heart when you finally catch the red glow of his ears- a shy Sungyoon wasn’t something you witnessed every day.
He shyly runs a hand through his hair, “I said I like you, too. And I have, for a while now.”
“Oh.” Your face quickly matches the shade of his ears, maybe even more so. But a wave of relief and giddiness passes through you and you can’t help but smile widely once the words process in your brain.
Because your best friend felt the same way about you.
You spend the rest of the night in comfortable silence, your heart still beating fast, but it’s a good kind of warmth that spreads through you, one that makes you feel like all is right in the world.
You don’t realize when he draws close, but suddenly your hands are touching, his shoulder grazes yours and his breath is right next to your ear. You slowly turn your head in his direction, your breath hitching upon realizing how close his face is to yours.
You close your eyes, grasping his hand as you take a deep breath and lean forward. When your lips meet, it’s like your heart is mimicking the explosion of the fireworks in the sky. All these feelings surge through you as you share a kiss, and you swear you’re flying.
As you part, you both look away shyly; your face is blazing, your heart still hammering in your chest. You don’t complain when he tugs on your arm and brings you close to him, letting you lean your head on his shoulder as you continue watching the sky together.
#golden child#golden child scenarios#golden child au#sungyoon#choi sungyoon#y#golden child y#golcha#gncd#gncd scenarios#sungyoon scenarios#y scenarios#kpop scenarios#kpop#au#friends to lovers#woollim
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Hey lovely i realised you were taking requests still...i have a bit of a dramatic one so i dont mind if you dont wanna do it so i have anxiety and depression and when i am feeling really down i sometimes dont answer my phone there was a situation where i was overseas for work and bc of being far away from my bf i got rly depressed and didnt answer my phone and he panicked and nearly flew out to me would you mind recreating that situation with yoongi (seeing he deals with mental illness too)?
Hello love!! Thank you for requesting 💖 For this drabble I’ve drawn from personal experience of how I felt a while ago, so if this is not what you had in mind I'm sorry love. If you feel the need to talk to anyone, please reach out to me, I can be a listening ear or just be there 🥺💖
Pairing: Yoongi x Reader
Word count: 1.7k
TRIGGER WARNING: DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
When your boss told you about the business trip to Germany you were so excited you immediately texted Yoongi. This was a huge opportunity for you, enough to shake you out of the new slump you had found yourself in. The trip in and on itself was a piece of cake. You would fly out to Germany a Sunday to be there by Monday, manage a couple of new transactions and write a report for the CEO and fly back by Friday. Simple. Yoongi was ecstatic, so happy about this new opportunity that he couldn’t stop bragging about his wonderful girlfriend who had been promoted and would be travelling the world in no time.
This bragging was endearing and so you had been telling yourself since you told him the news; the problem was that you couldn’t help the tingling at the back of your head telling you that spending time away from him wasn’t what you wanted. You already spent a huge amount of time away from each other when he was on tour, but now you were the one flying away from him, alone, to a foreign country. You didn’t even want to start thinking about how much you would miss him, even less the whole week you would be sleeping alone in a strange hotel room.
Busy with packing and organising documents you just set your phone in the kitchen table and went about your apartment picking things here and there, double and triple-checking if you had everything you would need. Your laptop and phone were inside your little carry on bag and so was your phone charger. The one you couldn’t find was the laptop’s. You put everything upside down looking for it, looking even under the bed, only to find it rolled and tucked in a corner of your suitcase. The sunglasses were in your bag, so was your lip gloss and your purse, all your credit cards and your ID, your passport. You were double-checking everything again when you heard the code being punched in the keypad. Waiting just a little longer, you heard the pit-pat of Yoongi’s feet against the floor getting closer and closer to your room.
“I should have known you were packing,” he said, hugging you and leaving a soft kiss to your cheek, “you weren’t answering your phone.”
Giving him a guilty look you apologised for worrying him and kept on packing while he showered. That night you were laying awake waiting for the alarm to ring while Yoongi snored away on the other side of the bed. You would miss him so much, his soft snores and the little pout he made when he slept deeply. Noticing the numbness enveloping your head again, you turned your whole body and buried your head in Yoongi’s chest. He was the best buffer against your darkest moments.
Before going to the airport and against Yoongi’s moaning — “you have checked this already a hundred times, love.” — you checked everything again, turning off the electrical appliances and closing all the taps. You were really bad at saying goodbye and your boyfriend did know that. With a sweet kiss and several whispered I love you’s you took the taxi to the airport and silenced the tiny voice in your head that was trying to list every single thing that could go wrong.
Conference after conference you noticed how your brain got slower. You were alone all the time while you managed to do your job by keeping yourself busy and not thinking much. You arrived at your hotel so late at night that the only thing you had the strength to do was showering and dropping on the bed to try and get some sleep.
You were missing Yoongi so much it physically hurt but you didn’t want to call him. He was three times as busy as you were, even forgetting to eat or sleep if he got too hooked in producing a song. Calling him and telling him you were feeling numb again and that you wanted to hold him and never let go would only worry him. When he called there were two possible scenarios; you either felt guilty for not picking up and worrying him further, or you felt a sudden rush of tears filling your eyes seeing how you longed for him to be there with you. The slower the days passed, the stronger the urge to bury yourself amongst the blankets in the hotel bed and sleep grew. By Wednesday it took you nearly half an hour to convince yourself to pull your body out of the bed. Yoongi had given up calling and started flooding your phone with texts since he woke up until he finally fell asleep quite later than recommended. You were making him worry and that made you feel worse.
You found yourself getting distracted from the most insignificant task with memories from the first days of your relationship, how shy Yoongi was and how he wouldn’t call you after a day afraid that he was being pushy. The day he had opened up to you about how he felt and you both cried when you found out you had more things in common than met the eye. On Thursday your boss called you out for being absentminded in the middle of a meeting, he had caught you daydreaming about what Yoongi would be doing back home. You wouldn’t know even if he was already awake because you had switched off your phone, overwhelmed by guilt, nostalgia and the numbness on your head that didn’t let any rational thought go through. Missing him, the crushing sadness and the tight knot in your throat were making it difficult to breathe and function properly. When you got to your hotel room that night, slipping off your shoes and checking your work email on your phone, a notification pops up and you frown, opening your personal email.
Min Yoongi
Subject: I am desperate.
My love, you have stopped answering my calls, you ignore my texts and you’re alone in a foreign country. I know what loneliness can do to you and I only want you to be safe. If I don’t receive an answer to this email or any of the thousand texts I’ve sent you I am flying to Germany to make sure you’re alright. I just want to know you are safe, if not okay.
I love you with my whole heart.
Yoongi.
Tears had started flowing halfway through the message, making you feel so guilty that you closed the email and were calling Yoongi, not caring about anything that wasn’t hearing his voice at the other side of the line. The tones of the call were low reminders: you have time to hang up, he will be worried, you will only worry him more. But you pushed on, ignoring your anxiety’s voice and waited with bated breath until you heard Yoongi answer the call.
“Y/N, are you feeling okay? Where are you right now? Have you showered?”
You silenced his endless questions with a quiet sob and sat on the edge of the bed. Oh, how you’d missed his voice! And you told him while sobbing, how hard it had been, how lonely and sad you had felt and how anxious of disturbing him that you had gone back to not picking up the phone and wanting to sleep all day long. He sounded agitated and out of breath but you were so focused on not letting your anxiety drive you into a panic that you didn’t notice.
“Do something for me, sweetheart,” he was saying, now slower and calmer after finally being able to contact you, “get out of your work clothes and take a hot shower. I won’t hang up and be here with you okay? Can you do this for me?”
Your heart swelled at how he was still taking care of you from so far away. He knew exactly what to do when your thoughts numbed. He would always make you take a shower, drink some water if you couldn’t stomach any food and lay with you while his breathing brought you back. He was not pushy, he didn’t make you talk or explain why you were feeling the way you felt. He was just there, a strong dependable presence that kept you sane.
Listening to him hum to you about his day and things the rest of his friends had done, you went into the bathroom and undressed slowly. You sat a short bit on the toilet lid and just listened to his voice until you almost smiled at some funny thing Jungkook told him to tell you. In a better mood, you entered the shower and let the spray run down your head, the hot water untangling the many knots on your back and shoulders. You imagined that the heat from the shower was a hug from Yoongi, a warm embrace that you could feel through the distance and you loved him even more than you thought possible. Hearing him still talking while worked away at his keyboard made you smile and you switched off the water, getting out and covering your body with a huge white fluffy towel.
“You’re finished, my love?” He asked and your heart swelled again.
“Yes. And I’m feeling much better, Yoongi. You’re the best.”
“Well, your day with me isn’t over, missy. Now, I have a ton of new songs separated into genres that I want you to listen to while you lay on the bed and we talk until you fall asleep, okay? Tomorrow, before you know it, you will be back here with me and I’ll be able to hug you to sleep. Is this good enough for now?” He whispered into your ear, as if unsure if you wanted that, but as always he knew perfectly what you needed.
Wearing your pyjamas and under the blankets of the huge bed, Yoongi played songs, melodies, beats, anything he was preparing for release or working on. You two chatted away about where would you go once you could go on vacation together and you fell asleep with a smile on your lips hearing the man you loved telling you he loved you back and finally feeling comfortable and safe again.
#hyunglinenetwork#bangtanarmynet#requested by anon#yoongi fanfic#bts min yoongi#min yoongi#yoongi#bts yoongi#min yoongi x reader#yoongi x reader#jiah:r.txt
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George muthafucken Luz is the best dinner party host:
i know yall agree, but allow me to tell you exactly how he became the best host.
so this is obviously post-war
you and george have been living together
and you wanna do something real nice for george cuz you see that he's suffering
not in the most obvious ways
its how he makes a joke, starts laughing but midway through the laugh he trails off and stares out the void for a second
and its how he clutches the letters from his easy friends a tiny bit harder
and how his eyes screams 'i miss you' when he's reading them letters
you being you, go around his back and try to surprise him with a party
you start writing letters to a few of george's war friends inviting them over
and easy boys being easy bois write back to you, all oh-so-excited to be there
but luz, the sneaky lil bastard, senses somethings up
he tortures tickles you into confessing
you're actually kinda scared he might not like it, and you'd totally understand if he wasnt comfortable with it yet
and you feel a gut wrenching pull on your heart when george goes silent once you tell him your lil plan
and george breaks out in the largest grin- i mean THE LARGEST (bigger than when he was giving toye dat beer)
and pulls you into a bone crushing george luz™ hug
he instantly begins thrusting himself onto planning the party
he obviously wants it to be perfect - his instinct is to go all out with a 4-tier cake and live music with clowns as entertainment
he eventually decides to take it down a few fucken notches and settles on cozy, private, yet filled with happiness
its two days till the "party"
you've fucked up majorly
as in yall can't cook for shit lol
you tried, emphasis on tried, making meatloaf
you nearly burned down your bathroom (dont ask how)
all you managed to relatively successfully make was the potatoes
george, after dealing with the almost-demolished-bathroom situation, takes a bite of your potatoes and takes your hands and sits you down on the living room sofa
"pumpkin, i love you, but you can't cook for shit. I'd rather eat malarkey."
thats literally what george said to you, the love of his life, with a straight face
you begin to anxiety your tits off
for god's sake, it is a dinner party after all
and you're pretty sure cereal doesn't count for dinner anymore
your eyes dart around the room, feet tapping against the floor, biting you lips, all that jazz
george, with his oh-so-warm eyes, looks at you with his hands on the either side of your face
"don't you worry about a thing"
and of course, you believe george. he IS a man child, but you trust him with your life, so you could trust him to manage to feed a couple of his friends, right?
so the big day rolls around, george just came back from work with a fuck ton of bags in his hands
while youre getting all dolled up george is busy in the kitchen
you step into the dining room and voila there he is, with delicious looking plates of.. are those lobsters?
you're about to ask him what the fuck is going on, but a knock on the door makes you whip your head around
george goes to get the door while you do some last-minute fluffing of living room cushions
suddenly, there are a swarm of very loud men all barging through you and george's house
to say that you were overwhelmed whould be a grave understatement
you couldn't keep up with all the jokes and jabs and hugs and barking laughters of the men
so you decide to step into the dining room and get everything ready
george has somehow managed to herd all his boys into the yummy smelling dining room and they all sit down
yall start eating, and george introduces yall and you finally get to meet the men that shares a special bond with your georgie
they're very kind, yet in their eyes you can see what you can also see in george's eyes
the bois bombard you with questions, some not so polite as the others iykwim😉
and you being you, squirm a tad bit uneasily
its all in good sprit- they are brothers after all- but youre a lil shy
george of course notices your discomfort, and does a terrible sobel impression soon the table is roaring with laughter, and you feel george's hand squeeze yours
he give ya a cheeky wink (swoon)
the lobsters are scrumptious
you bring out the pie (store bought) and ice creamfor desert
george makes sure to save the perfectest slice for you
yall share the pie and some liquor that you swear wasn't there when yall began dinner
the bois are so full both of food and love and theyre talking and catching up and hugging and oh my god im so soft
sadly its time for them to leave
you and george at the doorsteps hugging everyone goodbye and promising each other to write
when the last of them's gone george turns to you, puts his arm around your waist, kissing the side of your head
you both silently clean up, brush your teeth, and climb into bed, all the while the radio is playing soft tunes in the background
truth be told you were exhausted
george is staring at you with is big brown eyes
and you hear everything he's telling you with his eyes
the thank yous, i love yous, how did i get so luckys
you share a tender kiss and you cuddle up to him
just before drifting off to a long and deep slumber, you whisper
"how did you get fucken lobsters"
george mumbles something like seagulls, grenade, candles, but you're asleep before you can ask him again
you somehow know that you won't ever know how he got those goddamn lobsters, but you're totally okay with that.
after all, george was happy, and so were you
oh and a month later, you were at a certain louisianian's home for some of the best cajun food you'd ever had😌
okay i got carried away as i always do ,, not even sorry oops i usually do shitty shotposts. this idea came to me while talking to @radiantcade and george luz would most definitely try to feed trigger scraps
#band of brothers#bob#hbo war#band of brothers headcanon#george luz#easy company#george luz x reader#made by noneofurbusinez#noneofurbusinez made this
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You can’t see it but I’m pointing and saying that you’re the one who gets me because I also love cheesy stuff. Also I’ve been a nerd over Many things in the past- Mythology, geology, psychology, computers, characters in a franchise I don’t like but I love This One Person, etc. Have I stuck with any of these things long enough to be Smart and Cool and Know A Lot? Absolutely not. But my anxiety dictates that I’ll annoy anyways. (Nyanon, 1/6)
Putting my annoyingness aside, the ones that are your favorites aren’t basic!!! They had an impact on you that makes you cherish them, and that’s important! My Neighbor Totoro is probably one of the most well known (and therefore “basic”) films they’ve released, but it’s super important to me anyways. But yes, the two of them would look adorable in the Ghibli style,,, I can even imagine them just. Dressing up as Howl and Sophie for like, a convention or something, it’d be great. (Nyanon, 2/6)
And listen he has to be doing Something with books!!! He loves them, and I feel like he’d love being able to restore or take care of them in someway, even if they are inanimate objects and it makes him feel a bit silly for being so attached. If he isn’t doing restorations or bindings, then he’s definitely a librarian. Also!!! Imagine that Kyouka’s little familiar was a gift from Atsushi,, Maybe it’s Byakko??? Like, tiny striped kitty Byakko. (Nyanon, 3/6)
I think that’d be cute, but it’s been a while since I’ve been able to watch Kiki’s Delivery Service, so I might be a bit off on how that works. And! I like to imagine that, when he’s turned into a wolf, his ability doesn’t work? Because Reasons, so he and an equally fluffy Atsushi often curl around and on top of each other, it’s adorable. Also imagine Dazai’s frustrations with his new instincts. He keeps wanting to immediately run after anything that moves. (Nyanon, 4/6)
He can’t stop chasing his own tail when it pops up, in and out of wolf form? And he doesn’t know HOW Atsushi avoids growling and making noises at Every Little Thing that bothers him. It’s exhausting and Atsushi is just vining with all of it. Anyways, onto another Scenario Concept: Atsushi getting to try out new hobbies! Because at the orphanage, all he could really do was read, but now that he’s out, he can try all sorts of things, even if he doesn’t end up staying with it. (Nyanon, 5/6)
Cooking and baking? I think we’ve already discussed that he’d Love it. Creating artwork? Not really up his alley, but he really admires people who stick with it! Singing and playing music? He’s a bit too shy to do it in front of others, but he likes listening. Just. Atsushi being able to figure what he does and doesn’t like with the help of the people around him. (Nyanon, 6/6)
ill tell you as many times as you want that youre N O T annoying im having Beef with your anxiety m8 pull UP and thank you uwu, ive been told that theyre Basic so oftentimes ill say “i know it’s basic-” to save the person from having to remark something negative about the movies SMH and im glad you find comfort in Totoro uwuwu (godammit now i definitely wanna draw atsushi and dazai cosplayers in a convention dressed as sophie and howl AAAAAAA)
atsushi very much loves books!!! kyouka would probably be chilling on the rooftop of the book store, old radio that atsushi found beside her playing some music (yes atsushi also likes to collect Old stuff and vintage stuff as well) and then she just thinks “HMMM I WANNA GO ON MY WITCH ADVENTURE NEXT FULL MOON” (which is in tWO days) and as she goes to tell atsushi that atsushi almost messes up the book hes trying fix because hes in SHOCK “kyouka? what do you mean? what should i do about the movie tickets then?” “Cancel them! im going!” *cue staring in cluelessness before snapping back into reality and scrambling after an already packing kyouka*
(i imagine that kyouka is an orphan like atsushi but she knows that her family is a lineage of witches cus she became an orphan when she was like. seven or six so she KNOWS and when she started living with atsushi he just supported her and her traditions)
and then atsushi calls the small circle of friends they have and tells them that “hey!! kyouka is going in two days!!” and theyre like oH SHIT NO WAY REALLY (i imagine its koyo, yosano, fukuzawa and lucy are the people that are in their circle of friends that see kyouka off)
while byakko is atsushi and kyoukas Cat he definitely gives byakko to her as hes crying and saying that she needs to have a friend from home before she makes new ones and kyoukas like “ill be Back dont worRY-”
KENJI IS THE BOY SHE MEETS AT THE TOWN SHE SETTLES FOR AND THEY ARE CUTE AND FALL IN LOVE IM SORRY AAAA- i just ship them okay they would be very cute
and then later on that night when kyouka is gone and everyone went home atsushi closes the book shop but then Somebody walks in and its the WITCH and they C U R S E him and he becomes OLD and hes like “i cant let everybody else see me like this” and FLEES to try and find whoever cursed him or however he can Lift this dumb curse cause he does not want kyouka to come home to change, he just wants her to comfortably come back and fall into her usual routines without much of a shock
and so he meets Dazais Moving Castle and i imagine chuuya being the angry calcifer and akutagawa being dazais quiet but Cant Say No underling (which is so CUTEEE) and they. its just. Yes. (chuuya is smitten but doesnt which is why he gives in to atsushi so fast that it surprises dazai) either way all that drama happens and now atsushi is back with a new boyfriend (read: husband), a same aged friend, and an angry former Flame which is Not what atsushi accepted but hey, kyouka is back with a heart filled with romance so she cant be too shocked at atsushi also being in love
sorry i went on a whole tangent there
anyways, werewolf dazai!!
dazai: how do you deal with this?
atsushi, dead serious: i ignore it like i ignore my hunger
dazai:
(wait side note do you think atsushi would unconsciously do stuff he doesnt realise that he just,,,,Doesnt need to do anymore?? like for example he’ll be like “ah i cant i gotta do all of this torturous work before actually letting myself relax” and then he’ll realise wait,,,,i Can relax now,,,why wouldnt i be able to .What Do U Think Nyanon)
PIGGY BACKING OFF OF WHAT I SAID THAT REALISATION WILL PROBABLY MAKE ATSUSHI TRY OUT NEW HOBBIES ! ! ! AND IT’S JUST SO CUTE
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hello friends!!!! i am here to give u the long awaited list of my squishmallows! unfortunately one of them is missing & his name is buzz, he’s a bee key chain and i think my sister stole him :( but anyways, here are my friends!!
this is sherbert, she is the biggest size, and my first ever squishmallow!! she’s a pegasus (she has wings but you cant see them in this pic) and she loves rainbow sherbert from our local ice cream shop and she also loves going to the movie theater with me (our first date together was seeing frozen 2 and i accidentally got hot cheetos popcorn on her belly hehe) she is super sweet and i love her :)
next is lynus the lion, also the biggest size, and he is very adventurous. he is best friends with sherbert and they like to watch movies together. he’s sneaky and he steals my snacks..but i dont blame him!
this is bibble, named after that fuzzy fairy thing from barbie fairytopia, and she is super tiny. she’s very dumb (we don’t tell her that) and she doesn’t know how to use her wings yet. her favorite activity is following me around..she has seperation anxiety:(
here’s blueberry the bunny, she’s kind and smart, very studious. she’s pretty serious and she’s the mom of the squishmallows. i usually leave her in charge when i’m not around. 10/10
this is charlie the cowboy horse!! he is super super tiny, like the size of my hand and he loves everything cowboy. he likes to think that he’s big and strong even though he’s really not. he has a big heart and he loves cuddles. he also loves dogs!
this is harold the duck..i actually adopted him from my sister who got him from her ex boyfriend (she didnt want him anymore cuz she had bad emotional feelings from it) so now he lives with me! he can be a lil noisy but he is funny and has a crush on bibble (which i dont support..shes just a baby!!)
this handsome gentleman is ozzy the octopus, named after ozzy from survivor (cuz i went through a survivor phase over quaratine lmao) and he is really wild. he likes to party all night and is honestly kind of annoying but i still love him.
this beautiful lady is petunia the peacock and she loves to show off her feathers!!! she loves reading and watching princess movies with me. her best friend is blueberry because theyre both blue.
here is beef the squirrel, he’s named after this baby squirrel that i tried to save a few weeks ago, and he loves all types of nuts!! he likes board games and hot chocolate:)
last but not least is the newest member to the family, bella the candy corn witch!! she is from the new halloween collection and while she is a witch, she is super sweet. she likes halloween, obviously, and scary movies. she is still a little shy since i got her yesterday but i know she’ll fit right in:)
so that’s all of my friends!!!! i showed them in the order that i bought them and i got all of them from walgreens except for beef and petunia which i ordered from the squishmallow website. they may seem stupid, espeically since im a 20 year old college student, but they make me hapoy espeically on my depressed days and they makes great pillows and sleeping buddies!! they’re also really affordable:) you might notice that some of them, i think bibble and ozzy, have some bite marks/rips and that’s from my brother’s dog who thought they were toys and that’s okay! anyways, i hope you enjoyed:)) bye!!
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3H opinion: I dont think Bernadetta is written particularly well- Im someone whos been through a lot- similar things to what bernadettas gone through you know? I know that doesnt make me a authority on how all people react.. but knowing tons of abuse survivors ive never met one that talks with such a over done "l-leave me alone senpai" kind of voice and is always obviously hiding "IM NOT HIDING UWU" and yet everyone seems to think shes well written.. If im wrong could you tell why? Thanks!
You’re not wrong anon, I agree with you.
I myself like Bernadetta well enough, but her writing is just kind of a mess.
The game portrays her destructive anxiety and low self esteem as a “haha tiny girl scream” in most of her supports, and then tries to back pedal when diving into her backstory. Like, okay game stop trying to say I’m a bad person for finding the situations amusing when that’s all you’ve been doing, complete with 'wacky’ model/portrait animations and the funny background music.
And its true, everyone deals with and expresses their mental health in different ways. I myself have an anxiety disorder, I can relate to a lot of what Bernadetta says. For me, it’s not really how Bernie expresses her anxiety that I have too much of an issue with.
But it’s really obvious that she was written to be a “troubled scared and shy girl that only you can help and cure with your love professor!!!” And that’s one dynamic that I just don’t care for whatsoever.
It’s in bad taste and disrespectful to have an anxiety riddled girl who suffered life changing trauma for years be fixed by a professor she knew for a year who has a personality of a brick, and fighting in a war for 5 years.
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Omorashi shipping meme with your favorite Steven Universe ship if you have one!! 💞 - Nsfwitchy
fave steven universe ship? lapidot.
also: human au, since i dont think gems pee??
i also love lapidot in the human au anyways,, fuckin adorable
ps. we stan nsfwitchy in this house dont @ me
Send me a ship and I’ll tell you who
wets the bed
peridot.
is more likely to have an accident in public
uh,, peridot
is more likely to purposely wet themselves in public
probably lapis, actually
is more likely to pee in an alley
lapis. no shame.
has the teeniest bladder of all time
peridot. what can i say, shes tiny
has a bladder of steel
lapis.
squirms and whines when they have to go
peridot. need i say more?
locks the other out of the bathroom as a joke
peridot. spiteful bb.
moans in relief when they go
lapis. i feel like peridot would be speechless until afterwards?
has a secret omorashi fetish
mostlikelylapis.
Omorashi shipping meme (minus a few that’ve been answered.
•Who is more likely to have a shy bladder?
peridot. lapis has no shame
•Who’ll only use an appropriate facility such as a toilet?
peridot
•Who is more likely to have the holding kink?
lapis
•Reaction to wetting?
peridot: wouldnt say a word during the wetting, but would grumble under her breath and cover her face, clearly embarrassed. shed just stand there until lapis pulls her to the bathroom to clean her up.
lapis: she wouldnt be too upset. just sorta shrug it off and clean up. If she was holding on purpose, as some of the other questions imply, i dont think she’d give much reaction. peridot would act like lapis was fragile for the rest of the day though, offering her things and hugging her. in reality, though, lapis wouldnt really mind much.
•Who’d be caught wearing diapers? What would they and the other(s) do?
i dont think either of them would wear diapers.
•Who’d be more Reluctant to take a nature piss?
peridot.
•How would each individual help the other out if they happened to be in a situation where a toilet were unavailable?
peridot: she’d make sure lapis was comfortable, even though lapis wasnt really worried. worst-case scenario, she’d have to squat behind a bush.
•Who’d wet because of an anxiety attack?
lapis.
•Who’d be more prone to bladder infections? How would the get one? Would they wear a diaper?
lapis. with the stronger bladder and control, it could lead to some problems. she wouldnt be wearing a diaper, however, she wouldnt go anywhere that didnt have a nearby restroom.
•Who’s more likely to have an accident in public?
peridot
•Who’d purposefully have an ‘accident’ and would they be caught? If so, how would they and the other(s) do?
lapis would purposefully wet herself to comfort peridot if she’d had an actual accident. peridot would be strangely comforted by that? if it works, it works.
aaahj, thanks for the ask! this was fun to do :)!! 🤍🤍
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Sanders Sides Percy Jackson AU!
SO! @moon-scribs and I have been working on this one for a while and we hope you like it!
BASICS:
Logan is a child of Athena
Roman is a child of Apollo (The very extra son of a very extra god)
Remy is a child of Hypnos (Hypnos is the god of sleep)
Virge is a child of Aphrodite and Patton is a child of Hades (Bare with us for a second, we´ll tell WHY we did this below the cut)
Emile is a child of Epiope (The goddess of the soothing of pain)
Deceit Damian is a child of Hermes (Hermes is, among other things, the god of deception)
Thomas is a child of Iris (Y´know, the goddess of the Rainbow)
More about this under the cut! (Warning: Its ridiculously LONG)
Child-of-Aphrodite! Virgil
When deciding upon which god he should be the child of, we mainly thought about how he was before pre-acepting anxiety, how he felt like “The odd-one out”, how he felt like he “didnt belong here”. See where we are going with this?.
Virgil is supposed to be the child of the goddess of beauty, but he honestly cant see it. He is way too pale. Way too lanky. His hair is too messy. He has eyebags that are bigger than his fist. He isnt “pretty”.
His siblings arent helping with that either: They are incredible extroverted people, they actually care about their appearance, about trivial things like make up and clothes, they are known to be extremelly social, their fucking cabin its mOTHERFUCKING BARBIE MANSION PINK AND ALL.
He doesnt fit with them, sure, he can get along with most of them just fine, but he still feels wrong.
He has charmspeak, but he doesn't knows how to use/control it and its also heavily influenced by his emotions, so when he's really stressed out it activates, mostly to keep his friends out of danger. (Its basically like his canon anxiety demon voice, it can influence them like that scene where v's like 'GET RID OF THE PHONE NOW' and Thomas just throws it without thinking )
His first days on camp were pretty rough, and he was thinking of running away, that is, until he met a very cheerful son of Hades.
Child-Of-Hades! Patton
Patton “Hellhounds are just misunderstoods puppies!” Medina
Patton “Oh that kid looks sad and lonely and uncomfortable Im going tO BEFRIEND HIM” Medina
All the hellhounds just become big puppies around him, he has a tiny army of Cat-skeletons and dog-skeletons following him everywhere that are always either playing with him or trying to get pets of him.
Since there is literally just one other kid of hades in the cabin most of the bunks are empty so one of them becomes the Cave(tm) of Patton´s bony friends (Its just a bunch skele-pets under a blanket)
Also one of the bunks is reseved for Virge, since sleeping in a pink barbie mansion surrounded by SO MANY PEOPLE made him incredible anxious. And Patton could not let his precious friend and crush suffer! He has already went through enough!
One of the funniest things to Virgil its the fact that the Hades cabin looks like where vampires would live and then BOOM SUNSHINE BOY
Patton´s Brother: ugh it's too early to-is that the sun??? I thought there were no windows here???
Virge: No, that's Patton
He is the first one to discover that, despite Virgil not believing it, Virge is actually FUCKING gorgeous. Like, one day he makes Virgil giggle and Patton feels as his heart might burst: Virgil´s hair was messy and fluffy and it kinda covered his eyes, but you could see them sparkle with amusement and he had this tiny and kinda shy smile and all that Patton could think was: “goDS ABOVE IM TOO GAY TO FUNCTION- HELP”
Despite his sushiney attitude, lets not forget that, as a child of Hades, Patton is actually fucking powerful, and will not hesitate to absolutly destroy whatever and whoever tries to hurt his fami-friends and his home
Child-Of-Apollo! Roman
You know how Percy´s sword turns into a pen? Yeah, Roman´s katana turns into a golden and silver hairbrush.
Was sent to camp since he was really young and trained in hand to hand combat until he became the best.
Has an enthralling voice and incredible acting skills and he can dance like the muses, but cant shoot straight to save his life (Pun not intended lol) and if he tried to heal a paper cut it would probably get infected .
Loves the camp dearly, but he misses his family a lot so he Iris-calls them every saturday
Child-Of-Athena! Logan
Hands down the best strategist in the whole camp.
Cant do hand-to-hand combat to save his LIFE, but he is amazing with long distance weapons. Bow and Arrow? Logan will pull a hawkeye shit where he NEVER fails. He is good at making traps, like, he studies what surrounds him and can make a scooby-doo-like trap with branches and shit he found laying there. People do not Fuck with him during capture the flag.
You know how Athena´s kids are all terrified of spiders, right? Welp. Logan has a Patton-level fear of spiders.
“Pardon my crude language, but I don't fuck with those tiny ass demons”
Child-Of-Hermes! Damian
“You, my child, are amazing, but you have the moral of a chocolate muffin”- Thomas, to him, after spending 15 minutes alone together.
Will 100% fuck shit up, not in a “IM EVIL FEAR ME” way, but more in a “Remember my father is also the god of pranksters do not fuck with me Virgil”
Has definitely not pranked Roman and Virgil and had to unceremoniously hide in a tree top so this two would not murder him in the time it took for Emile and Pat to calm them down
Child-Of-Hypnos! Remy
He is a child of hypnos, and as such, drinks unhealthy amounts of coffee so he can stay awake.
He can make everyone he wishes fall asleep instantly just by touching them and he can make it last as long as he wishes (More than 4 hs per person tires him tho)
He doesnt have an ounce of common sense in his whole body and Emile still doesnt know how he managed to stay alive for this long.
Child-Of-Epione! Emile
He is not gifted with healing like some childs of Apollo, yet he is able to sooth the pain of others. No, not only as a psychologist (He is not one yet, but he wants to be one when he grows older), but also as an overall comforting presence: He is kind, his voice is calm, he is sweet, patient and emphathic.
One hug from him will not heal all your pain, but will make it hurt less, giving you the strength to keep fighting it for a while.
Really, REALLY not good at fighting.
Cried for a whole day when he learned that the camp has no tv so he couldnt watch any cartoons while he stayed there
He was very lonely growing up as before getting to camp, so he used to watch A LOT of cartoons to keep himself occupied, to avoid feeling alone.
The human mind and emotions never ceases to amaze him.
Child-Of-Iris! Thomas
Thomas started going to camp at a very young age, so he kinda knows everyone.
Despite that fact, he got claimed on the summer after his 15th birthday.
He was walking across the camp towards the Big House to say hi to Chiron when a full on rainbow surrounded him and Iris´s logo started glowing on top of his head. He looked at the rainbow, then he looked down at his “could be gayer” t-shirt and burst out laughing.
He spends only summers on camp, and since he is a bit older than most of the campers, he became a sort of counsellor to new campers whenever he is in camp.
He helps the new ones with training, teaches them how to get around the camp, teaches them how to read in greek and greek history (To them its history, no mythology) if they dont know anything about it.
He is super supportive of every new camper! Like, if they are training and one of the newbies fucks up (Drops his weapon, falls, trips, whatever) he will instantly start going “Its okay!! No one can do this right in their first try!! It took me like a year just to stop sucking at it!! You are trying your best and thats whats important!!”
He gave one look at Virgil´s angsty demeanor, Damian´s snarky attitude, Roman´s fake confidence, Patton´s pattoness, Logan´s insighful and wise opinios, Remy´s complete lack of self preservation and Emile´s internal screaming as he tries to keep the rest of his friends fucking mentally stable and immediatly decided “Im going to adopt them”
While Thomas is an excelent “counsellor” and loves his friends, sometimes he will be watching the other 7 human disasters run around and get into shenanigans and just be like: Those kids are already so fucking weird this might as well happen
Asked to be tagged: @fandoms-till-the-end-of-the-line @thatgaydemigodnerd
#sanders sides#virgil sanders#tsvirgil#ts virgil#patton sanders#ts patton#tspatton#logan sanders#ts logan#tslogan#Roman sanders#ts roman#tsroman#Remy sanders#ts remy#ts sleep#tssleep#tsremy#Deceit sanders#tsdeceit#ts deceit#sympathetic deceit#Emile picani#Thomas sanders#ts#moxiety#tsart#tsfanart#logan sanders fanart#ts logan fanart
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More random thoughts for my new ocs Ted and Lee aka "that adorable eldritch abomination and his equally adorable husband"
* Possibly he got the name Ted from people calling him The Eternal Darkness? Like "oh gosh no that doesnt sound very friendly" *rebrands self*
* also im not sure if i should leave his husband as lee or maybe leonard or leopold? Can lee be short for leonard?
* I'm thinking Ted looks like a short round cuddly man with long curly hair and a beaming smile that just sometimes looks slightly too wide and fangy. He's like the most unimposing huggable dude in the world and probably wears cute lil polkadot bowties or something, and he just also happens to be an otherworldly doom monster. I'm thinking Lee is also a huggable dude but more built like a rugby player instead of all soft angles. And probably has short hair with a stylish salt and pepper look, starting to go grey but looking fabulous while he does it. Ted thinks he looks super handsome when he wears his reading glasses.
* Ted doesnt realise he isnt human, its partly because incarnating as a mortal means he doesnt have enough brain space for his full millenia of memories and partly because he feels self concious and wishes he could become a real human. Like..he had to discard some memories but it was his depression that caused "memory of not being human" to be one of the memories he picked. Lee figured it out pretty quickly though because Ted isnt exactly great at his human impression, alas! But he's trying to just support his husband towards remembering naturally, cos he can see the situation is traumatic for him and doesnt want to cause a panic attack by telling him all at once. Just tries to let Ted know that he loves him very deeply and like.. "I dont just love your face, i love YOU". And help support him to show more of himself in situations where his anxiety gets in the way, like more normal human situations to lead up to maybe the whole inhuman situation. I'll help you feel okay with wearing a swimsuit at the beach -> i'll help you feel okay with manifesting as a mind bending sentient black hole with a thousand eyes. Its tricky tho because Lee also feels anxious wearing a swimsuit in public! I'm gonna throw a little bit of personal relateableness in here and say he has the problem of bad acne and peeling skin on his upper back and shoulders cos thats a thing that runs in my family and im very self concious about it yeah. But these two depressed dudes can help fight the depression together!!
* And also sometimes they fight the occasional other eldritch beasties that fall through the void and try and take Ted's territory. Ranging from "aww stop hogging all the humans i wanna eat them" to "but you have a pet human why cant i take one of my own?" *grabs a handful of screaming dudes* Sometimes they can be reasoned with and end up joining the cul de sac as a new mildly ominous neighbour, and sometimes its just Lee beating up a giant moon spider with a broom while Ted clings desperately to him for dear life and has no clue whats going on. "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT OUR PLEASANT EVENING WATCHING EMMERDALE!! TED SLAVED OVER A HOT STOVE TO MAKE THAT BUNDT CAKE!!"
* Ted's hobbies include learning to bake and also collecting model trains. It might be because he subconciously remembers drifting outside this dimension and looking in on the tiny humans but being too shy to talk to them? So he likes little tiny decorative things! And its so fun putting them together with his husband~! Lee is very supportive of Ted's hobbies and tries to help out with any heavy lifting cos he's not too good at the fiddly bits. He did a bunch of diy to renovate their old garage into a nice craft studio for Ted's miniatures! (They dont need a car anymore when Ted can just teleport) Ted actually isnt super good at cooking yet but he's excited to learn. He wanted to be able to bake Lee cakes cos Lee has a big sweet tooth and it felt more romantic to try and make his own stuff someday instead of jusy buying it. Though he teleports all over the planet to buy the best luxury cakes so OF COURSE he's gonna feel self concious that his own cooking doesnt live up to those standards yet! Lee still cherishes everything thoigh, and insists on finishing the whole cake even if its burnt. Ted is like 'nooo let me rewind time to undo the cellular entropy' and Lee is like 'ITS ALREADY PERFECT SHUT UP' *gives crumby kisses*
* so basically they are just incredibly ordinary middle aged husbands with incredibly ordinary middle aged husband lives, and just occasionally some sort of cosmic monster war will ruin their lawn. THOSE GARDEN GNOMES REALLY TIED THE WHOLE LOOK TOGETHER, DAMMIT!! *grabs broom* I think Lee has probably become a cryptid amoing the cryptids lol. Somewhere in the distant cosmos theyre telling each other legends of this terrifying cuddleman...
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Shocking Revelations
It’s been many weeks since Starscream has made contact with Shockwave and... stolen a protoform from the Well of AllSparks. During that time he has been putting off broaching the subject with Knockout, and the more time has passed, the more impossible that conversation seems. Now he has to explain not only why he is working with Shockwave, but also why he failed to mention it. He has no intention of explaining either, at least not yet, but under stress and with a lack of sleep, things don’t always go as intended...
@ask-dr-knockout is in block quotes
Clack clack clack clack clack CLANG clack
SLAM!
Starscream did not take it well when his pacing took him over the loose piece of plating in front of the medbay and he startled himself out of his racing thoughts. Hence the dent in the wall. He now stood, venting, with his wings half lowered and rigidly held.
Every moment since he left Shockwave’s lab had made him more tense. He’d tried burying himself in work, but his thoughts kept returning to the tiny Seeker in the tank, with no one to keep Shockwave from indulging his curiosity on it. He’d decided to take a break, but flying only made him think of the Seekers Shockwave wanted to clone, and his break had turned to restless pacing, which led him here.
Growling in frustration, he turned to drag himself back toward his console. Construction teams didn’t check in with themselves, and he still had to arrange tomorrow’s supply movements from Tarn. Pit, he’d spent all night getting nothing done.
Not long after Starscreams violently loud expression of frustration came the abrupt sounds of a rushed transformation soon followed by a clang and thud before a muffled swear from the oposite side of the wall over powered the once quiet hum of the medical bay.
clunk Clunk CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK!
VrrrWOOSH!
Footsteps aproached before the med bay doors cycled ubruptly wide open to reveal a pair of frowning dully lit halos.
Knockout looked around huffing as he rubbed at a fresh dent on his helm. His face wearing a recharge ridden scowel of discontent.
“Alright who is the wiseguy banging on my wall after hou-…!” Knockout cut of his speech that had most likely been meant for a underling or vehicon as his optics set sight on the cuprit to his painful awakening. His chest and shoulders instantly puffing up in suprise before his optics rew a bright angry red. Of all the childish… HE was supposed to know BETTER!
“STARSCREAM!! don’t you have any couth!” He glared stomping toward the other and pointing a finger into the silver mechs chest.
“Just because you repel recharge doesn’t mean the rest of us can! Just LOOK what you made me do! I thought for a moment the base was collapsing… again…” Knockout yelled in a harsh not so whisper gesturing to his slightly dented helm. “You made me transform out of recharge and hit my helm!” His voice mixed with a harsh static induced from his abruptly disrupted recharge and/or sleep deprived state.
“It’s not like this would have been the first semblance of a full recharge I was able to coax myself into after the horrors of what Soundwave and you absurdly acomplished!! You know… The same mech that resides just down the hall from me!” Knockout pointed out exasperated.
“That’s not even including the fact I have been working for the past week on analysis of Perceptor’s research! Intensive analysis!! The least you could do is keep it down but what do i wake to find… that you have oh so subtly put a dent in my wall!” He huffed grumpily… it was only after his own rant he noticed the angle of Starscream’s wings the clenched fist the tightly lifted shoulders… he backed up a bit…. away from Starscream and calmed his grumpy tone but only slightly. “What the scrap has gotten into you!” Knockout crossed his arms Glaring.
Starscream flinched when he heard Knockout coming, before whirling toward him with angrily flared wings. Oblivious to the irony, he motioned to the medic to keep his voice down, before he blinked, distracted.
“You recharge in alt mode?” The quiet question seemed to go unnoticed as Knockout continued his rant. Starscream didn’t appreciate this on top of everything else he was dealing with - couldn’t a mech stomp around his own base in the middle of the night without getting a full dressing down? He curled his talons into fists and stepped closer to Knockout, who finally shut up and backed off.
“Take a guess what’s gotten into me, Knockout! I’m trying to juggle a lot of different things right now, and as soon as I decided to take a break, your stupid floor panel practically tripped me! You thought the base was falling down? Really? Well the floor is certainly broken, so let’s add that to my to-do list!”
He thrashed his wings with finality and glared at Knockout. “Go back to bed so I can get some work done.”
“If I had to take a guess it be a sour mix of fuel and a long jaged staff up your-” He was interrupted by another harsh retort on Starscreams part.
Knockout steeled himself despite his instinct to shy away from the others claws when he was in this mood. But Given the past few months wether it was wise to do so or not he felt more confidant in expressing his distaste or opinions to the other.
“Oh and you think I am not! Do you know how many vehicons and crew repairs I have done in the past cycles all while balancing HQ repairs, ship repairs, this world changing research, AND scouting!” Knockout optics widened and he sputtered in offense as he placed a dramatic hand onto his chest before holding them out in exasperated explanation speaking in harsh angry whispers. “Look at my finish! I have bearly had time to buff myself Starscream!” He looked sad for a moment before his optics turned hard again.
“I dont know whats gotten into you tonight but YOU of all mechs should understand the concept of proper crew moral! It’s one thing putting up with your temper tantrums during the day fine! But a piece of loose paneling! this is unaceptable when your crew and only CMO is trying to get rest to work more efficiently for YOU!!” Static again filtered through his whisper as he forced the words.
Knockout huffed and sighed. “I do not appreciate being woken up for such a small pathetic reason!” He put his hands on his hips glaring at Starscream unrelenting.
Starscream thought his wings were up all the way, but he was mistaken. He flared them so wide they banged against his pauldrons, making himself look huge. “Oh, so I have one bad night and suddenly I’m bad for crew morale? What about my other bad nights? Is it fine as long as I stay in my quarters where no one can hear me? I was trying to get things done! Sorry you all have to put up with me!” His voice qualified only technically as a whisper - a harsh, rasping hiss that verged on the squeak he hated to admit he had when he was emotional. It wasn’t particularly quiet.
“The stupid loose paneling was just the last thing in a slew of scrap!” He raised his talons, not to scratch, but to enumerate all the things he was dealing with. No one pity partied as hard as him. He counted off each woe on his claws. “I’ve had to redo the construction schedule three times because of the rains. The old smelting factory in Tarn just caved in so that sets us back on supplies. I’ve got to step up repairs on the other ones. Soundwave is a ticking time bomb, as you’re oh so fond of reminding me. I’ve barely had time to think about finding Megatron and I don’t know if I can count on Soundwave when I do! I’m not having much trouble automating our radar based defenses without him, but it’s one more thing I have do myself, and it takes time we don’t have. Suddenly Shockwave’s dragged me into his schemes, and I’d rather train Phoenix but I’ve barely seen her. I can’t sleep, so I try to work, but yes, Knockout, it’s so pathetic to have a slightoverreaction to the slagging base being so dilapidated you can’t even walk thr-”
He suddenly stopped. He flicked a wing. Had he seriously said what he thought he just said? Maybe Knockout had tuned out his rant. He could hope…?
Knockout deflated a bit at Starscreams retort. “That’s not what I mea-” but Starscream continued cutting him off undaunted wich made Knockout irritable again.
Knockout huffed now tireing. much of his initial fight leaving him as his fatigue set in and oposed the prospect of continuing this verbal sparing match further. he rolled his optics shaking his helm at most of it now. Starscream always had to have the last word.
None of it had to do with the actual issue Knockout had with being woken up. all he realy wanted was some peace and quiet to recharge…. was that so much to ask?
He had half a mind to just tune out Starscream now and head for his room and deal with the others temper at his actions in the morning.
And that was just what he had been about to do as he was turning to walk away when his audials caught a terrifyingly familiar name uttered, one he had NEVER expected to be associated along with the rest of their team efforts…
Knockout paused as if he was thinking over if he had realy just heard the other correctly.
Suddenly he whipped back around his optics burning bright red all semblance of fatigue gone, replaced by a burning fury!
“SHOCKWAVE!…. SH- SHOCKWAVE!!!?? WHAT-” he stomped closer anger rattling his shoulders. “DID-” Stomp “YOU-” stomp stomp “DO!!”
Knockout latched onto the thin edges of Starscreams shoulder pauldrons and jirked the seeker down face to face with his porcelain furious visage.
“You said Shockwave!!! You mean the mech who invented PREDACONS! The mech who Whipped out VOS THAT SHOCKWAVE!! What about SHOCKWAVE!? Starscream!??” Ironically Knockout had betrayed his own peace and quiet as his voice reached for new hights.
Knockout released Starscream pushing him away as his own mix of anger, anxiety and fear took hold.
He began to pace not knowing what to do with his Flux of sudden emotions. In this situation normally he could keep his cool perhaps a bit better but this was too much, too sudden and he was too tired to deal with this now! his ventilation systems kicking into overdrive as he neered hyperventalation.
Why would Starscream put them all at such risk!?
Shockwave was a threat he was dangerious to all of them Soundwave had been bad enough but now this! Knockout tried to calm himself but failed for a moment as he held his helm from the onset of a panic attack while he paced Infront of Starscream. He could not believe this!! How could Starscream go behind his back! Wasn’t he supposed to consult him before making a decision like this!! Of course he was! His anger boiled anew.
Clank thunk thunk. CLANK
Knockout in his panic had tripped and almost fallen forward from the offending piece of flooring that had started this whole mess!
“St-pid peice-ofScrap!” He growled through clenched denta and plunged his sawblade into the floor cutting off the offending piece of scrap before chucking it unceremoniously down the hall before a watching Starscream.
A moment later Knockout spun around to again stare at Starscream and spent a few more vents managing to compose himself to a degree.
Once he felt composed he continued.
“Considering neither of us are going to be getting any recharge now…” Knockout spoke calmly despite himself. “Care to enlighten me on this matter too Starscream… since you saw fit not to consult me to begin with!!” His voice sharpened on the last few words.
He waited now forcing himself to calm down before he did something he regret and punch the other in the face that wouldn’t go over well…for either of them. Starscream wasn’t like Breakdown afterall where that might have made a proper point.
But just like Breakdown when he had went off and did something royaly idiotic.
Starscream also had PLENTY of explaining to do!
Starscream’s hopes rose just for a moment as Knockout turned to walk away. But then he paused and Starscream’s wings slowly sank.
Scrap.
He backpedalled as Knockout stormed toward him, flinching and shutting his eyes when he was grabbed. Fighting back didn’t occur to him - his mind was racing to come up with something to get himself out of trouble. Someone jerking his frame and yelling in his face made him scramble for something to appease, and long experience had conditioned him to resist bringing his claws to bear lest he make things worse for himself. “Knockout,” he whispered, opening one eye and motioning for him to be quiet.
He backed away farther when Knockout let go of him, looking around wildly in case anyone else heard them. Knockout might be angry, and he had reason to be, but there were Seekers in his team who would leave, if not kill him, if they heard he had let Shockwave live.
As he watched Knockout stomping around, his own sense of outrage flared back to life. Did he think he was stupid? That all those concerns weren’t ever present in his mind every time he talked to or looked at, or even thought about Shockwave?
He was afraid of Shockwave. But he needed what he could do, and… it was like old times… He really didn’t want to admit any of those things to Knockout. The longer he’d waited the harder it had been to come up with how he should tell him, until it was impossible. Because then he’d have to explain the delay, and face the accusations and berating.
Well now there was no more putting it off, but he still had nothing to say for himself. For a long moment he cast about for some way to begin at least. He snapped out if it when Knockout tripped and handily sawed the broken floor panel off. That was one way to do it, and it brought him enough vindication to defend himself when Knockout finally addressed him more calmly.
“I was going to tell you,” he huffed, drawing himself up. “Shockwave and I both monitor Decepticon channels, and naturally we found each other again. I had no intention of getting into any schemes with him when I asked a simple hypothetical question about the Well of AllSparks. No one here is a biologist. I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell you about it, but I knew you’d react exactly like this.” He brushed himself off where Knockout had grabbed him. “You don’t make it easy.”
“Realy Starscream were you?…” He rolled his optics listening. The nagging feeling of hurt returning. Did he want to replace him as a confidant? No that was rediculous! Wasnt it… He squashed it down.
Starscream continued to explain how this had all come about.
“Otherwise what your saying is you contacted him first… Primus…”
Knockout had been in the middle of pinching the bridge of his helm praying to Primus for strenth when Starscream accused him.
His helm snaped back up and he turned it very slowly to glare, almost baffled at the others ludicay for a moment before he could even bring himself to retort.
“Excuse me?! … hah hah! Iiiii~ make things dificult! Do you even hear yourself! Just uhhg! Just get in the med bay Starscream.”
Knockout quickly padded the medical bay doors open. At the doors swishing open he pointed into the room to indicate he wanted to have this conversation in a more private environment. As he was sure Starscream did as well.
“Leaders first…” Knockout spat.
After calming he realised his reaction could very well initiate a few eavesdropping eradicons soon… of course it was Starscreams fault for droping this on him instead of consulting him first! But Still he sensed Starscreams worry now… they couldn’t risk it that would not be ideal given the subject matter.
Once inside and the doors closed Knockout crossed his arms.
“So I make things dificult do I…? And you don’t supose adding Shockwave to the mess sounds like a sure fire method?” Knockout huffed.
“…what’s going on Starscream, just tell me…” Knockout sighed. “Why in your right mind did you think it was a good idea to contact that psychopath.” His shoulders fell a bit as he fought back the fear and hurt seeping into his voice. His optics on the other hand shown a different story.
why didn’t you trust me…
Starscream glared at Knockout but allowed himself to be ushered into the medbay, ducking his wings only enough to clear the doorframe before flaring them again. Once inside he turned to face Knockout, arms crossed on his chestplate.
“For your information, Knockout, I didn’t contact him first. Well, not on purpose. I didn’t seek him out. It was a comms frequency on a Decepticon channel, like I always look for. Once I knew it was him I couldn’t exactly cut off the channel without trying to find out what he was up to.”
He flicked a wing. That would have been a reasonable time to inform Knockout about the contact, but that wasn’t what he’d done. “Obviously we both suspected each other, and we were both trying to size each other up and see where things stood now that Megatron is gone.” Another wing flick. “We both told very little, and that was that. A short time later though, I was wondering about a biology question, and not a medical one. A… well, one that I would classify as mad science. Who better to ask?”
There was a long pause as Starscream tried to think which the several things that had happened next would upset Knockout the least. None, probably. He shifted and straightened his wings before continuing.
“He called me back with what I thought was an answer to that hypothetical question, but he… tricked me.” The last bit was mumbled quickly and quietly, because now that he’d said it all out loud the whole thing sounded like he’d given Shockwave the idea and then played directly into his hands for an obvious mad scheme. That might have been what happened but it wasn’t on purpose. And he also didn’t exactly have a problem with how things had turned out. He glanced around, not meeting Knockout’s gaze.
“I didn’t tell you because it all just sort of happened and it happened quickly, and… In retrospect I should have.”
“Oh joy more mad science!!! And here I thought you got your fill with me!… Of course he tricked you!! It’s Shoooockwaaaave!!!” Knockout facepalmed with a mild clang.
Despite his internal desire to interrupt further he resigned to listening to Starscreams explanations.
“Yes you should have…”
Knockout tensed when he realised Starscream had not only been in contact but had been meeting with Shockwave no doubt repeatedly for some time from the way he described things.
Happening quickly his aft. Starscream was lieing. He recognized that twitch in his wings.
What kind of crazy biology experimenting was so important Starscream repeatedly risk his saftey and kept it from one of his only confidants?! No matter how interesting a experiment Shockwave presented… Starscream still had been brash and it terrified Knockout to think about the what ifs.
“Starscream…. let me ask you this…” Knockouts voice had calmed but his tone was still serious.
“What do you suppose~ we would have done if Shockwave had tried to pull something drastic against you?… it could have left us all vulnerable without any knowledge as to what could have happened to you!” Knockout was looking at the far off wall in thought while he spoke. As if staring into a ghostly image of his own past.
“You can take care of yourself, but you made youself unnecisarily vulnerable and by extension us, to his subterfuge without a plan B. Without backup.” He paused but for only a moment.
“-And did you consider he’s still in contact with Predaking too? You could be in grave danger every time you are around him.” Knockouts concern filtered into his tone before his voice became hard again.
“This isn’t just about you and that lonely quest for ambition anymore! You have a loyal team who shares your goal! You have Phoenix and the squadron to look after! Stop acting like none of us matter when I know you don’t feel that way!” Knockout yelled his shoulders trembling not unlike the number of times he had failed to hide away his grief.
“This… slag you pulled its, it’s just like your reckless political days on vos before you learned to delegate! Or do you still not trust me to do my job!” Knockout raised his hand to point to Starscream then at himself before his arms flung wide in exclamation.
“You know better! And… I know you don’t want to hear this from me of all mechs… but that’s EXACTLY why I’m here telling you! Because you don’t want to hear it!” He stepped closer looking up into Starscreams optics with firm resolve.
“Starscream, Your too important now to take risks like this! And we can’t help you if you won’t let us!” Knockout looked up defiantly. He knew Starscream was going to be angry at him for this but he had to do something.
Knockout would not allow this.
Regardless of his own insecurities, He wouldn’t stand by and lose another friend to a trecherious enemy because they made foolish, rash decisions!
Not again!
At one point he might not have cared but now?… it terrified him to think how close he- they all had come to that same circumstance all over again.
He wouldn’t let it happen again. even if he had to face down Starscreams wrath to make that point.
He braced himself but never broke eye contact.
Starscream found it very hard to keep his wings flared as all of Knockout’s warnings and accusations piled up on him, but he managed, rolling the building hurt into his anger and focusing it all into maintaining his glare at the medic. At the mention of Predaking his hands began to shake, and when Knockout brought Phoenix into it he clenched his fists so tightly that Energon beaded up on his wrists.
“I know all that!” he yelled when Knockout was finally done. “You think I’m stupid?” They were standing so close together Starscream could easily strike Knockout for talking to him like that, for making him feel, well, stupid. He had taken all of that into account, many times over, every time he considered what was happening with Shockwave. They were things he accounted for, planned for, and set aside, satisfied he could handle it. Hearing it all laid out though, he found himself reeling. Perhaps he’d lost perspective on what was normal, having lived for so long with those sorts of calculated risks always in the back of his mind. But his risks hadn’t paid off… Ever.
He didn’t touch Knockout. Just for a moment, his wings quivered, but he flared them again. “I thought about all of it, Knockout! It wouldn’t be logical for him to try anything against me. Have you considered that everything is different now that Megatron is gone? He even told me he finally realized our former master played us against each other!” He thrashed his wings, trying to shake the recollection of the momentary understanding he and Shockwave had shared. He loathed agreeing with the scientist, even if it meant he was vindicated.
“I hate him, don’t worry about that. My claws ache to pierce his wretched Spark! But he offered me a chance to see the rebirth of my kind - actually see it with my own eyes. I went with him, and I didn’t know what he was going to do, but now he’s working for the Seekers. Let’s just say he owes me and he’s working it off so his death might be less painful. I’m not saying I trust him, because I admit he tricked me, but he needs my expertise this time as much as I need his.” He tried to sell that last point, as much to himself as to Knockout, but found it rang hollow.
“And-” he glanced away just for a moment, casting about for a finishing argument, before returning with an even fiercer stare. “And don’t you dare bring Phoenix into this! I kept everything separate with Shockwave because he can’t know about her. He’d be overcome with curiosity if he learned where she came from, and that’s unthinkable! Let him be in his lab with the Protoform, far away from here! I was figuring it out!” Even he knew that was lame. Compartmentalizing was no excuse for keeping Knockout out of the loop, but up until this very moment, it had made sense on some insane level. Knockout, Phoenix, his team, they were his world now. Shockwave was the past - an ally of convenience whom he was using for his own ends. It was a simple past where he knew what he had to do and who he had to do it to, and at times Starscream still missed it, perverse as it was. If Knockout was placed in that world… a world where Starscream used everyone and his every move was a cynical calculation, then Starscream would only hurt him again.
But now, looking at Knockout’s unwavering glare, his well justified anger and poorly concealed fear, he realized - he had hurt him anyway. He couldn’t juggle a world where he was not alone anymore, a world he still barely understood, and a familiar world where he had nothing - no one - to lose. He’d lose either way.
Finally his wings fell, and he looked down, busying himself with wiping away the Energon that dripped from his wrists. “I know I should have told you,” he said again, quietly now that he was out of excuses and bluster. “I - I’m sorry. I do trust you, and I’m not trying to do this alone. It’s just… alone is how I’ve had to do things. I always lose everyone and it’s usually because of Shockwave. And…” His voice staticked out but he continued anyway. “because of me. I was afraid to tell you. Jetfire left and even Thundercracker left. My Trypticon crew… they didn’t leave; Shockwave butchered them, but I couldn’t hold the station. The stakes were high then, just like now, and they left anyway, or were taken. I couldn’t stop it. I made mistakes… and they cost so much.”
He fell silent, waiting tensely for Knockout to berate him for not trusting him, like he always did. Still, he could weather that, because despite the fears he’d just confessed, he did trust him. He knew Knockout wouldn’t leave him again, deep down, though he feared losing him to Shockwave. Even if the Seekers caught wind of him working with the mass murderer of their kind, and turned on him as a traitor, Knockout wouldn’t leave him. So he’d let him be angry. Who wouldn’t be, having to deal with a mess like him?
Knockouts anger continued to boil as he listened to Starscream drone on and on in traditional outrage of how his insanity was a good idea…
However like a pin to a ballon the building fury suddenly released at 2 simple words.
“I’m sorry”
Knockout took a moment to process what he just heard… the words indeed spoken in true sincerity.
Knockouts shoulders fell in an instant all semblance of heated retort dying on his vocals. Instead he heaved a long tired sigh before approaching the seeker.
“Starscream… I am not Thundercracker or jetfire… and your not alone not anymore…” He placed a gentle palm on Starscream’s shoulder.
“Just because I think you’re out of your processor for dabbling with Shockwave for what possibly could be the most backwards risky unethical scheme to date, doesn’t mean I’m going to leave… besides someone need to stick around to watch the rear.” Knockout smirked with a knowing glint that Starscream would recognize.
“And quite honestly, this whole conversation is completely exhausting for the both of us and at this point I know too much and your not going to kill me soooo you might as well tell me everything now so we can both get back to recharge…” Knockout pulled up a chair inviting the seeker to take a seat before he did so behind his desk.
However before Starscream could begin to elaborate he held up a single digits signaling a momentary pause. During which time Knockout retrieved 2 energon canisters and promptly placed them before filling them with a particularly strong grade of highgrade.
“Cheers” Knockout lifted the canister before promptly throwing it back in one swig.
“Alright, begin”
Starscream waited with downcast optics for Knockout to respond. None of his excuses made any sense and he knew it, but even now he cast about for something to ward off the desperate feeling of not knowing what to do. The medic’s prolonged silence only made him more apprehensive with each passing moment. He was really going to get it, and he was too spent to put up another fight.
He tensed at the touch on his shoulder, not flinching but still drawing inward. Knockout’s assurance that he wasn’t Jetfire or Thundercracker only seemed to crack the welds on those old wounds and made them bleed. Starscream struggled to find his voice, barely managing to mutter, “I know…,” as he turned to face Knockout. He’d spent so long convincing himself that he hated the old friends who had abandoned him, that he didn’t need their help and was better off without them, and now it hurt to recall how earnestly and sometimes desperately he’d sought their advice and trusted them to have his back.
As he watched Knockout move off and offer him a seat, he tried to remember the knack of explaining a problem to someone and… asking for help. Civilizations on countless worlds had flourished and fallen since he’d last done so. Stars had burned out.
The medic’s sly jabs and matter-of-fact insistence that he divulge everything oddly did reassure Starscream. This was Knockout. He wasn’t going anywhere, and even the fact that he’d seen all of the same dangers Starscream himself had seen in the situation was a good start. Freaking outabout them hadn’t helped, but now that the shock had worn off, they could get down to business.
He eased down onto the seat and fussed with his wings a bit, not sure how to hold them.
“All right. I’ll tell you. Just keep it down.” He gave Knockout a sharp look, before taking his canister of Energon and turning slowly in his claws.
“As I said, I asked him a hypothetical question, about what would happen if an implanted Spark were taken from the Well prematurely. I was worried about whether there were any Seekers being born or not, and what was happening with them. I specifically told him not to try it.”
Starscream rolled his optics. “Of course, when does anyone listen to me? Anyway, a while later he called up to tell me he knew for certain that Seekers were being born, and could show me. I… went with him.”
For a long moment he grew quiet, staring into the fuel he held. “The Well was… it was incredible. And sure enough, at the bottom we found one. A Seeker.” He held his hands about three feet apart to show show Knockout how small the protoform had been, and a soft smile stole onto his face. “It was only this big, but you could already the wing roots forming. I was trying to think of when we might be able to venture down again and check on it, when I turned around to see Shockwave cutting it right out of the ground!”
He swept his hand and flared his wings, recalling his outrage at what Shockwave had done. “I didn’t know that’s what he was planning! But sticking it back in the hole it came from wouldn’t repair the damage. It would have died. So…. I flew it back to his lab, where it’s now growing in one of his cloning tanks.” Finally he knocked back his drink and set the empty canister down. “It’s the best thing he’s ever had in there by a long shot. Hmph. Unfortunately it does make killing him more complicated. At least for now.”
Knockout stared optics wide jaw slack… the high grade doing hardly a thing for him when faced with this type of taboo.
Knockouts shoulders were again shaking but his own shock over the horrendous act was enough to keep him quiet for the moment.
That was until the canister in his hand exploded into a thousand pieces despite his obvious restraint.
“He… you both took a newspark… a child… from the Allspark…” Knockout couldn’t look at Starscream but instead his saucered optics cast downward at the broken shards now littering the desk In front of him and the energon dripping from his hand that had accidentally been sliced by a few of the stray shards.
The damage was hardly what bothered him most.
He wanted to yell to be angry again to shake the other and scream his outrage but all he could do was stare in horrified shocked silence for what seemed to stretch on for an uncomfortably long amount of time.
Finally Knockout found his voice once more.
“Starscream… I need to see the protoform… what you and shockwave have done is… I just… take me to the lab we have work to do if that spark is going to survive with Shockwave.” Knockouts voice remained calm now but almost deadened. As if any semblance of personality was being blocked out or repressed.
getting up from his desk Knockout turned his back to the seeker still sitting at his desk while he retrieved a tool to extract the shards from his hand. cleaning it and bandaging the minor wounds he did not turn to face the other as he spoke again quietly.
“I think… you should go- take a flight, should help calm your nerves.” Knockout spoke his tone professional… impersonal.
“I will prepare for tomorrow…” was all the more Knockout spoke leaving no room for debate.
Starscream looked expectantly at Knockout once he’d come clean about everything that had happened. Surprisingly he did feel relieved now that he’d laid it all out. That is, until Knockout crushed the Energon canister in his grip. The Seeker’s wings whipped down, clanging against the back of the chair, and he stood partway, not sure what Knockout was about to do. He noted that the medic was quite pointed about lumping him in with Shockwave, and his wings flared slightly. It wasn’t fair.
“It was mostly Shockwave. I didn’t want to- I didn’t mean to… ” Trying to fill the silence only made it worse, and he trailed off, finally just nodding when Knockout said he needed to see the protoform.
Of course he did, and Starscream wanted him to. When Knockout got up to leave, Starscream started to follow him, relieved to have a new plan, to have help. His restless mind latched onto the idea of getting started and he forgot how tired he was. But when Knockout spoke, he stopped, wings sinking slowly behind him.
You should go.
He was glad, in a way, that Knockout wouldn’t look at him as he stood there at a loss, swinging one fist against his leg and blinking nervously. Knockout didn’t want him around… Perhaps the medic needed to think. That was probably it. But Starscream couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his wings, and he tried to force the memories of all the times Thundercracker had shut him out like that from his mind. It had happened more and more towards the end… This was different though. Knockout said he was going to help. Or perhaps, not so different after all, except that this time Starscream was going to let him.
Finally he turned and stepped toward the medbay door. “Tomorrow then,” he murmured, not looking back as he twitched his wings together and slunk out.
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