#i don't want to kill myself i just want to be dead. I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm always feeling awful. nothing is worth it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chaussetteblanche · 5 months

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Okay I’m obsessed with your Luke castellan stuff! Is there anyway I could request one where Luke and reader are a couple but get into a huge fight right before a quest? Something goes seriously wrong on the quest but they make back in in the end? Sorry if that makes no sense 😭

omg thank you !! and thanks so much for requesting ! this turned out a little dark, I hope you don't mind !

deception

pairing : luke castellan x fem!reader summary : you and luke have a fight before leaving on a quest, but after something goes very wrong, you make up word count : 3.5k warnings : a little dark, violence, fighting (verbal and physical), swear words, killing of another camper, depiction of death

"Where were you?" The words were out of your mouth as soon as you saw the dark figure walking towards you. You needed no light to recognise him. You knew him by his walk, the way his shoulders swayed slightly and the unrecognisable limp in his left leg from an old injury. You knew the shape of his shoulders, for you had cried on them many times. You knew the swing of his hands, for they had held yours for countless hours. You knew the way he hung his head meant he was tired. But so were you. So, so tired. "We leave tomorrow, Luke. For a quest that could change all of our lives. Do you truly care so little?" You stood up from where you had been sitting down for the better part of an hour in front of your cabin. "Baby, I really don't want to do this now," he all but pleaded. You could hear it in his voice. The fatigue, the worry, the sadness. He stepped closer to you and took your hand in his, lovingly brushing your knuckles with his thumb.

You pulled your hand out of his grip, even though it physically hurt you to do so. You felt him flinch. "No, Luke, you do this every time! It's always the same with you!" You knew your voice was starting to rise but you couldn't help it. "You go out, won't tell me where you're going, won't let me come with you, come back hours later, looking like you've been holding up the sky for seventeen hours, still won't tell me where you've been, and ask me to-" "Baby, can you please drop it?" His voice was incredibly quiet in the dead of the night. You could see his brows furrow in the faint glow of the torch on the side of your cabin. "-drop it," you finish with a sigh, dropping your hands by your sides.

"Look, I'm sorry, alright?" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just- I'm sorry." You could see his chest deflate like a balloon and felt tears well up in your eyes. You shook your head. You couldn't keep up with his lies. "No." His head snapped up and you felt his intense gaze on your face within seconds. "No, don't apologise for shit you're just going to keep doing. Apologise when you're actually going to change something, because I can't keep doing this." You willed your voice not to shake too much. You ran a hand over your face, sighing shakily.

"What do you mean you 'can't keep doing this'?" he asked softly, stepping closer to you and taking both your hands in his. You tucked your chin, not wanting him to see the tears slowly running down your cheeks. He lowered his head to look at you. "I mean I can't keep," your voice broke, "doing this. Us, Luke. It's not healthy." "No, no, no, what do you mean it's 'not healthy'? Baby, we're okay. You're okay, alright? Nothing has to change, we're good!" The urge in his voice broke your heart. He leaned down to look into your eyes as he cupped your face and wiped your tears away with his thumbs. "It's okay, baby, we're okay, I promise. I- I can change, we can work through this. Together."

You bit your lip to keep it from wobbling too much. You shook your head. "No, Luke. We- we can't. I can't keep doing this to myself, it hurts too much. And I can't change that I worry and get worked up, but you can't change whatever it is you won't tell me. So this needs to stop." Luke shook his head franticly and started pulling you towards his cabin by the hands. "No, baby, all you need is a good night's sleep, okay? In the morning, when you'll have a clear head, we'll talk about it again, okay? I promise we'll work it out, all-" "No, Luke!" You pulled your hands out of his, tightly crossing your arms over your chest. You didn't know when you'd started being cold, but you suddenly realised you were shivering violently. "I have a clear head right now! We don't need to talk about it in the morning! The situation will still be the same! And neither of us will have changed a thing! We're just pushing this back to later!" Your voice rang out into the night and it angered you even more to know that many campers were probably listening in on your exchange with Luke at the very moment.

"Wow. I can't believe this." Luke shook his head. You felt a few raindrops land on your face and arms before it started raining. "I can't believe you're willing to just give up on our relationship like this, Y/N." "I'm not giving up on anything! There just isn't anything left to-" "Maybe if you minded your own business more, and stopped worrying and fretting so much-" You scoffed loudly. "That's who I am, Luke! That's my personality! And I love you! So, excuse me for caring and worrying about you when you disappear for literal hours and won't tell me where you've been!" "Well maybe if you-" He cut himself off and raised a hand, shaking his head. Through the raindrops, you could see tears running down his cheeks. It shredded your heart to pieces knowing you were the cause of his pain. "Look, Y/N, I care about you, I admire you and I love you. So do this, go ahead, but remember that, and remember that it will have been your fault."

You had what was probably the worst night in the history of all worst nights. You hadn't slept a wink, had cried out all the water in your body and had second-doubted every choice you'd ever made in your entire life that had led you up to this moment. When you looked at yourself in the mirror the next morning at the crack of dawn, you grimaced. One good thing came out of having to meet so early, you wouldn't have to face the other campers who you knew were listening in on you and Luke last night. You would have to answer no questions and would have to ignore no strange looks.

Everything was still damp from the storm during the night. You hated the feeling of the cold humidity making its way through your clothes and sticking to your skin. You met with Chiron, Luke and the third member of your quest, a girl named Natasha, at sun rise near the border. You didn't meet Luke's eye as Chiron spoke before sending you off. You didn't even speak until Natasha brought up the tense silence.

"Look, I don't mean to pry," she spoke as she pushed her way through tall grass with you and Luke in tow, "but I'm not digging the vibe you both have going on right now." Luke inhaled before speaking, but he was interrupted by Natasha. "Just to be clear, I don't care what happened, just don't let it get in the way of the quest." "It won't." You answered without even glancing at Luke. You heard him exhale sharply. Natasha nodded curtly.

Even though the tension had been palpable since the start, within seven days you had managed to retrieve the artefact you had been sent to fetch and had started making your way home. Natasha most certainly had a concussion, but other than that, none of you bore any serious injuries. Still, you felt restless and anxious. The Oracle, though you could not remember her exact words, had mentioned deception. At first, you had thought it would be the monster from whom you had stolen the artefact who would be responsible of this deception, but that had not been the case. So you had been on edge for days. You'd barely slept, as Luke had pointed out many times.

"Do you not trust me anymore? Is that it? Is that why you won't sleep?" He'd asked you one night while he was on watch. You had tried to sleep, you really had, but thoughts of betrayal and deception clouded your mind and kept sleep far away. You shook your head. "That's not it." You couldn't bring yourself to tell the boy you loved that you feared he would turn on you. You leaned your head back against the humid trunk of the tree you were sitting against. A few raindrops landed on your face. You couldn't wait to be back at camp. You couldn't wait for all of this to be over.

"Then what is it? Why won't you sleep?" You shrugged. You wouldn't tell him about the nightmares you kept having. When you did manage to close your eyes for a few minutes, your mind was swarmed with dark sights and horrible fears. You would see Luke drowning, yourself burning, the artefact getting lost. "I guess I'm too nervous. We need to get it back to camp as soon as possible. I'll rest when we get there." "But-" "Please, Luke. Don't."

Despite your nerves, your fatigue finally got the better of you and you fell asleep. You awoke to strange, muffled sounds. Slowly opening your eyes, you squinted and tried to get used to the dim light of the flickering fire. After a second, you saw Natasha digging around in your bag a few meters away from you, one hand tangled in Luke's hair. You frowned. "Shut up," she snapped at Luke. You realised the muffled sounds must have been coming from him. You couldn't see much, as Natasha's body hid most of Luke and your bags. Quietly, you sat up and grabbed your bow and quiver. You slowly stood up, hiding your weapon behind your back.

"What are you doing?" you asked. Natasha whipped around, a scowl on her face. You'd never seen her look like that before. With her body more to the side, you were able to get a better look at Luke. What you saw made your skin crawl. He had a large black eye and a cut on his forehead. A dirty rag tied tightly around the bottom of his face kept him from making too much noise. You guessed from his position on the ground that both his hands and feet were tied up. And judging by the state of his shirt, which was torn and dirty, he'd put up quite the fight. Your blood ran cold but you couldn't help but feel relieved at the same time. Luke had not deceived you. Natasha had.

"Something I should have done a long time ago," she snarled, putting her boot against Luke's face and pushing it hard. He fell to the side with a muffled grunt. You felt your blood boil at the thought of her hurting him even more than she already had. You notched an arrow immediately and aimed it at Natasha's heart. "Natasha," you called icily, "I think you should think twice about this." "No need. I've got someone who will pay me a fortune for this," she held up the artefact in her hand, "and for the knowledge of two half-bloods roaming in the forest near a big town in New Jersey." "You wouldn't." Your blood ran cold. You knew you wouldn't let her get away without a fight, but judging by Luke's state, he had thought the same thing. You cursed yourself for choosing the strongest fighter in camp to accompany you on the quest. "You don't know me well enough, Y/N. I couldn't care less about that shit hole you want to go back to, there's nothing for me back there. So, if you're smart, you'll let me be on my way now."

You set your jaw. "I'm afraid I can't just let you go." She smirked. "I thought you might say that." She reached to the side and grabbed Luke by the hair, violently pulling him to his feet. He winced and you saw his jaw twitch. "Luckily, I have some leverage right here." Your stomach churned at the sight. Luke shook his head at you, but you ignored him. She may have beat him, but she wouldn't get through you. You'd die before you let anything happen to him or the artefact.

You raised your bow, aiming for her leg. You didn't want to kill her because she was a camper. That would be the equivalent of killing a cousin and you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you did. Suddenly, you felt your bow get white hot beneath your hands. You shrieked and let go of it nanoseconds before it turned to flames. You heard Luke cry out your name and watched as Natasha kicked him to the ground. You grit your teeth, the fire in your stomach growing bigger by the second. "Mother taught me well." She twirled her fingers and flames danced between them. You cursed under your breath. You'd forgotten she was one of Hestia's children. Not giving yourself the time to mourn your bow, you darted forward, narrowly missing the flames of the fire which followed you closely.

Deciding to let go of dignity and humility, you tackled her to the ground. Surprised, she yelped and let the small turquoise artefact slip through her fingers. You both hit the floor with a thud. Frantically looking around for the artefact, you were relieved to find that Luke had managed to get ahold of it despite his bound hands. He locked eyes with you and started crawling away. Natasha grunted as she tried to push you off her. You resisted and managed to hit her in the face with your elbow. "Fuck you," she growled before punching you in the stomach. She harshly pushed you off her ribcage as you coughed, tears welling in your eyes at the pain.

You realised she was going after Luke when she pulled a knife out of her boot before running off. Terrified, you scrambled to your feet and took off after her. You tripped on vines and stones as you caught up with her. You had no idea how she could see so well in the near darkness of the forest. You abruptly spotted Luke near a tree, rubbing his bindings against the harsh bark. "Fuck, Natasha- Stop!" you yelled. She ignored you. Before she could get to Luke, you threw yourself forward, landing a hard kick to both her knees. She cried out in pain and collapsed in a head to the ground. You scrambled to get on top of her and pressed your knee against the side of her head. "Stop it!" you pleaded. "You don't want to do this! Money won't solve your problems!" "Yes, I do want to do this," she grunted as she struggled against you. She kicked out, knocking you off her. You got to your feet as quickly as you could, standing in between her and Luke. You spared Luke a glance before raising your fists in front of your face. He was frantically trying to get rid of his bindings, desperately tugging at them.

"Just get out of the way, Y/N!" she screamed angrily, spit flying out of her mouth. "Make this easier for all of us, will you?!" "You know I can't do that, Natasha." She let out a frustrated yell before charging at you with her knife. You ducked and hit her in the ribs before catching her by the hair. You pulled her away from Luke with a grunt. She cursed loudly and sliced at you with her knife. You hissed in pain as she nicked your side, letting go of her for a second. You stumbled backwards as you looked down at your right side, where blood was rapidly staining your shirt. Distantly, you heard Luke's muffled yell of your name and a string of curses. You looked back up just in time to see Natasha's face coming at your full speed. She hit you in the cheekbone and you collapsed to your knees, dull pain making your face uncomfortably hot. You were dazed for a second before you shakily got to your feet.

Natasha was trying to pry the artefact out of Luke's hands, her knife much too close to his skin for your liking. Growling, you bolted forward and wrapped your arm around her neck from behind. Choking her with your elbow, you pulled her off Luke with all the strength you could muster. She thrashed wildly against you before reaching back and grabbing on to your upped arm. Before you could comprehend what was happening, she had flung you over her shoulder. You landed on the ground with a thud and your breath knocked out of you. You coughed. Despite the haziness of your vision, you still registered the knife lying on the ground next to you. You reached for it but Natasha was quicker. She kneeled over you, the knife dangling from her fingers.

"I was really hoping I wouldn't have to kill you, you know?" She wiped from blood from her bottom lip. "But I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to get anything done with you in the way, so..." Slowly, she started bringing the blade of her knife down into your abdomen. You pushed at her forearms, trying to stop her, struggling and kicking but it was no use. She was too strong. With horror, you realised that you were going to die. You were going to die. In the middle of a forest, alone-

"Y/N!" Your head snapped to the side at Luke's voice. He was running towards you at full speed, having gotten rid of his bindings. He threw something at you, which you barely caught. A knife. His knife. Without thinking, you drove the knife deep into Natasha's stomach. She cried out in pain and her legs went out, her whole weight now resting on your ribcage. She looked shocked as she looked down at her wound, which was covering both your bodies in blood. You paled at the sight. She tried to speak, but only blood bubbled past her lips. She looked up at the sky before entirely collapsing on top of you.

"LUKE!" you shrieked and kicked her off you, scrambling to get as far away from her as possible. You'd just killed her. Natasha. Another camper. And you'd just killed her. What had you done? Luke threw himself down next to you, immediately gathering you in his arms. You sobbed loudly as you held on to him, surely leaving fingerprints. "I killed her! I killed her, Luke, and she's dead!" you screamed hysterically, your eyes stuck onto her lifeless form, lying just meters away from you. "Baby, are you hurt?" he asked, concerned, as he checked you over. He tilted your head to both sides, his heart breaking at the tears flowing down your face. He was horrified to see your side and immediately put pressure onto it. You hissed in pain. "It doesn't matter if I'm hurt! She's dead!" Your voice broke as you hit Luke's shoulder, sobbing.

"It was you or her, baby. You or her. You did what you had to do," he spoke softly into your ear. He held you closer to him, as if he wanted to squeeze the traumatic event out of you. "She's dead," you sobbed loudly, turning around to bury your face in his chest. "I know, baby. It's okay. You did what you had to do, you had no choice. She turned on us." He soothingly rubbed your back as he spoke. "But- but-" "You saved the quest, darling. You saved your life. And mine." He stroked your hair, trying to calm you down. "There was nothing else you could do." You cried for what felt like hours. He held you the whole time, whispering words of assurance and comfort. By the time you felt ready to go, the sun was almost up.

The trip back to camp was mostly a blur. Luke took care of everything while you followed him around like a phantom. He stitched you up and disinfected your wounds before you got to camp. When you finally reached the border, you were greeted by Chiron, who was chocked to see only two of you come back. He was even more chocked by what had happened when Luke explained everything to him once you'd been taken in by the infirmary.

When you awoke a day later, you had a long talk with Chiron, who reassured you on just about everything that had happened. You would be granted a recovery of undetermined time. You could taker as long as you needed to get over the quest. Feeling a lot better, you'd thanked him and immediately went to find Luke.

You found him near the lake, staring thoughtfully out onto the water. "Hey." He turned around as soon as he heard your voice. "Hey," he spoke softly. He opened his arms once you were closer to him and you didn't think twice before engulfing him in a tight hug. He buried his face in your hair and inhaled deeply. It felt good to feel the familiar weight of his arms around your shoulders again. "I'm so sorry." He sighed into your hair. "For everything." "I know. Me too." "I love you, baby." "I love you too."

#luke castellan #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x you #percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan angst #pjo series #pjo tv show #charlie bushnell

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schmope-is-dead · 2 years

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ohhh my grip on the secret's slippin while I'm speaking in tongues

#charlie.txt #I am. hallucinating mumbling voices again and I'm getting too tired of listening to loud music to try to distract myself #and I have to be up in 6 hours #and I only have like. a quart of an energy drink left #and my mom is definitely gonna kill me if I drink another one this week #I just. I can't go to sleep.#I keep looking over my shoulder every 2 seconds #I know nothing's there!! I know my door is shut!!#but I just. keep hearing things moving. I keep hearing mumbling that I'm like 98% sure isn't there #usually I just try to keep confident in this situation. I tell myself that I can scare it out of existence.#but ohhh boy. I'm slipping #I don't think we've had a good night's sleep since alex was fronting #or if we did I can't fucking remember it #which is lovely!!!!!!! just absolutely lovely!!!!!! /s #idk how to describe it but just. I feel like a will wood song #I want to get drunk. I want to destroy this body. I want to be reduced to shreds by the time I'm 50.#I want to die and I want it to hurt. I want to feel every muscle in my body scream.#I want people to cry their eyes out at my funeral. then I want them to find out about who I really was #so that they can dry their eyes out with how much they hate the real me.#I want my life to have been worth something. I want my family to hate my guts after I'm dead.#I want them to see every ounce of my true personality.#and I want them to fucking hate themselves for ever loving me.#then they'll have something to really mourn.#but I can't because of my mom's fucking plan.#she wants me to stay in the house until I'm 25 and she wants me to get a respectable degree in college.#it's been her plan since I was 10. 10 years old. I wasn't even half way to 25 yet #and she planned out my whole life from there #I don't have any control in my life. even when I came out to her as my true self; a male named charlie #she couldn't just let that happen. she called me jay for a year and only called me they/them #she had my school call me the same because I wasn't allowed any say in it.

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erectile-disgruntlement · 4 months

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TW: suicidal thoughts and law enforcement

I had an interview at my local Safeway today and they offered me the job pending a background check. I thought I should be honest about my criminal history because if they're going to do a background check, I might as well not lie about it and make myself look worse. That was the wrong fucking decision. They decided the harassment conviction that I self reported along with my "rehabilitation" plans of weekly therapy and the phone number of the victim in the case were just too horrible for me to be hired. This is the only fucking place that would give me 4 hour shifts and I'm so fucking tired. I just want to be done with that stupid fucking conviction.

In July of last year, I called 911 on my partner after he grabbed a knife and threatened to kill himself after he ruptured my eardrum. For reasons completely beyond me, the police decided to arrest me and throw my ass in jail. It was like 9-10 am and I still had to wait till 1 pm the next day to see a judge. I wasn't given any of my medications that night despite them having them and my heart rate being in the 150's or higher the entire night.

The fucking trauma didn't stop after I got out though because I still had fucking criminal charges against me. We had a plea deal made up that would expunge the charges after I was on unsupervised probation for a year. And then the day of my fucking sentencing, they switched DAs and that flew out of the window. I was also originally charged with both harassment and assault, but the assault charge was dropped, so the new DA decided to threaten that if I pleaded not guilty and it went to trial, they would add the assault charge back on.

I was basically forced to plead guilty without a plea deal. Thankfully, the judge took pity on me or something so she just gave me 12 months bench probation and ordered me to continue the therapy I was already doing instead of giving me 18 months and making me go to a batters group like the DA wanted.

At this fucking point I'm genuinely contemplating suicide not because I actually want to die, but just because I know I don't have to worry about this shit if I'm dead.

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appleblueberry-pie · 1 month

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Honestly trauma bonding is the way to go 😌✨

Reader who adopted a child and loved them more than anything in the world, since she had no family or pets (being spiderwoman is a sacrifice, after all.).

Reader's Green Goblin killed their child brutally in front of her, leaving Reader with immense trauma and depression. (After torturing and then killing GG in the same gruesome way as he did with her child)

Reader who abandons being a Spider-person and goes back to her old job, being a professional gymnast.

Miguel who finds Reader's world, and asks who there isn't a Spider there if the canon event of the radioactive spider biting someone happened long ago.

Miguel who investigating, finds out that Reader is the spider there, however they abandoned their heroic life (mostly because of backlash from the media)

Miguel who one day goes to Reader's house to get answers, first explaining who he is and what the fuck that orange portal is 💀

Miguel understands how Reader feels and explains his backstory, and persuades (forces) Reader to join the Spider Society.

Miguel, that slowly falls in love with Reader and turns into an obsession. Maybe in the future, he can give Reader his kids so they won't have to grieve as much for their dead kids.

You were meant for him.

He shouldn't say that, but no bone or muscle in his entire body disagreed with this statement that he is claiming.

He fell in love with you before he even realized it and happily accepted the fall, knowing just from how you spoke to him, that you know how to love. You love the way that he wants to be loved. And he wants that. He wants you.

He was so goddamn in love with everything about you. He loves the way you speak, the way you carry yourself, the way you look at people, and the way you look at him.

He wants those eyes on him all of the time. So, he tries to work for it.

You looked so tired every single day. Since he found you alone in your apartment of your universe, he knew you held luggage no one else had behind them.

He wanted to at least take half of the weight off of your shoulders. He wanted to brush the midnight tears off of your face. He wanted kiss your callused hands. He wanted to have you.

He truly believes he can fix you.

"There is no fixing me. Nobody can save me."

He had never been so tuned into a conversation before. Mask off, sitting across from you in your living room, on the edge of his seat, staring into your iron eyes. You didn't want to let anyone back in again.

Hearing about your past only made him more determined.

"I can't put that suit back on again.....no. I killed enough people and killed off enough of myself. I don't benefit from that life anymore. Hell, my own city that I fought for doesn't want me anymore. Why the fuck would I even bother trying??" You try to laugh it off and killed the rest of your drink.

"The only person that could make me put that back on is the one I did all of this bullshit for."

You let the silence grow for a little to collect the words building up in your throat. But to speak it was a different battle.

"S/he was mine. S/he was all I had. Every day I had to wake up and go to sleep seeing her/his face, and it's all I needed to continue living another fucking day. And s/he's gone! I thought sparing lives would do me good, and now my babygirl/boy is gone. What the fuck am I supposed to do?" You whispered the words, as if it was forbidden to even speak them aloud.

And every single word you spoke made Miguel feel like he was living in your skin. Every question you asked, everything you said you felt is so close to experience of losing his little girl, it makes him nauseous. He only knew you for a few hours and already wanted to hold you in his arms.

"I can't....I just...can't put that thing back on. I really can't. I'm sorry." Your words slowly turned into a mutter as you fidgeted with your hands.

He doesn't know how many hopeful "yes, you can"s he whispered back to you with comforting (consensual) hugs before you had on that damned suit again and was in the middle of HQ.

His room was quiet. Peaceful, as he typed away on his technology you weren't interested in at all.

You felt so naked in the suit, but for some reason, it made you feel more secure than you'd ever felt these past few years......maybe this would be okay for now.

Miguel looked back at you, seeing you staring off into the distance and stopped typing to place his hand on your shoulder.

You looked up at him with those sad, tired eyes. Just seeing your face as clearly as it was, it continued to give him hope to be the one to support your during your healing process. You clearly needed the help. And if anyone could do it well, he was certain that it would be him.

#yandere #yandere x reader #atsv #atsv miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara #miguel x reader #yandere atsv #yandere miguel fanfic #yandere miguel o'hara x reader #yandere miguel x reader #yandere spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman #spiderman 2099

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recuira · 9 months

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after hours

after hours : a live action buggy x fem!reader fanfiction

for some odd reason, you have no idea who he is. and he fucking loved that.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

chapter one chapter two chapter three

chapter four | suede. stalking. silly.

his pov;

"Your wanted poster."

Those three words settled in my mind as I stared at the distraught girl in front of me, watching as she fumbled with her hands, a nervous exterior brushing over her. She seemed to be so horrified with the fact that I was once a pirate sought after by thousands- wanted dead or alive, though much preferred dead. Many still wanted me dead but due to my brilliant idea of hiding out here, the chance of anyone getting my bounty was thin. I, however, didn't see it being as much of a big deal as she deemed it so. The real issue I found was tucked away in one of the books within the nightstand which I was so fucking thankful she didn't find. I'd rather her not have been looking around but if she were to find one of the two? I was glad she found the poster.

I tossed another slice of apple into my mouth then set the knife down on the cutting board. I approached Y/N but instantly halted when I noticed how nervous and uneasy she was. "What's wrong?"

"H-How many people did you kill?" She asked, her voice shaking.

"Does that really matter?" I asked, waving my hands up in the air to hopefully exaggerate my point. "It was almost a year ago."

"That doesn't change the fact that it happened!"

"I know, I know." Despite her discomfort, I took a seat next to her anyway. She tightened her arms around herself, almost to make sure there was as much distance between us without her actually moving. Clenching my jaw, I patted my hands upon my thighs. "I know it's a terrible thing, and there's nothing I can do to change that. It's in the past and if I could go back and alter things, I would. Being a pirate was all I knew. My old friend was one, too. Then we separated onto different things and-"

"Did he kill people?"

"Lots of pirates kill people. It's part of the hype, ya know? It's very unlikely to raid another ship without there being any casualties. But I stopped because I got tired of it. I wanted something more."

"It's a pretty big bounty. I mean- come on, fifteen million berries?"

"Don't think about turning me in now," I chuckled, wanting to add a bit of lightheartedness to this unfortunate predicament.

"I'm not like that. I know I'm in need of money but-"

"I didn't mean it like that, Y/N, come on. Give me some slack."

"Well, why exactly did you stop? Did you lose the thrill of stealing from others? O-Or did you get bored of killing innocent people?"

I rolled my eyes, scoffing. "We've all done some shit we're ashamed of. We're humans. I did a lot of fucked up shit," I said as I pointed at myself. "But I changed that. I moved and let all that go. I left my crew, made someone else the captain, and abandoned ship. I left all of that shit behind and came here."

"But why?"

"If I say this, I'll probably make things worse but I don't want to lie anymore," I said as I laid back, folding my hands over my chest. I stared up at the ceiling. "You've obviously heard of the One Piece, right?"

"Of course."

"Well, I was one of those pirates absolutely obsessed with finding it. Fuck, I even dreamt about it. It was the only thing I truly desired in life. It was the only thing I thought about. Not riches, women, alcohol- just the One Piece. I was making somewhat decent progress but then I heard that a group of Straw Hats-" I grimaced at the thought. "-made off with the map which they stole from one of the Marine bases. I happened to track them down and I managed to steal the map from some kid named Monkey D. Luffy. But all good things must come to an end and I lost it. I was back to square one. And then I discovered his bounty was thirty million berries." I frowned then sat up, turning to face Y/N. "Can you believe that? Some newby pirate-wannabe received a bounty double my own! Seeing that brought me back to reality. So I dropped everything then came here."

"All because of him?"

I nodded my head. Just the thought of that kid irked me. There was no one, other than Shanks, who I despised more than my own self.

"So, yeah, I know what I did was fucked up. But there's a reason I'm here now. There's a reason I've given you so much. It's because I want to be a better person, maybe redeem myself for what I've done. And I can do that by helping you, by making your life a little less miserable."

"Do you pity me?" The girl asked, finally meeting my gaze.

"What?" I laughed, almost obnoxiously. "Of course not. If anything, I envy you."

"Me?" Y/N pointed at herself. "You envy me?"

"You have no bad conscience. You've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to make up for. You have a clean slate."

She shrugged, a small smile creeping onto her lips. "Thank you."

"So, uh, do you hate me now?" I asked, forcing a frown to mimic a pouting child. She giggled at this and shook her head. I sighed in relief, wiping 'sweat' from my forehead. "Thank god. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you hated me."

"I knew you were a pirate but it's still shocking to learn about your past. It'll take me a bit to get used to it but I don't hate you."

"So, we're good?" I extended my hand.

"We're good." She shook it.

I felt as if a huge relief was lifted off my shoulders. And as long as she stayed out of the nightstand, there would be no more issues. But if I hid the book, then I would be even more safe. I pondered the possibilities before I watched as she rose from the confines of the bed and approached the counter. My eyes trailed down. The backs of her thighs were exposed and the shorts clung to her ass so divinely. I bit my lip and crossed my leg over my lap.

"I appreciate everything you've done for me," She mumbled as she started to chew on an apple, then began to cut into an orange. "I do have a question for you, though."

"Go ahead, shoot." As soon as she turned around, my eyes met hers and I smiled.

"Are devil fruits real? Or is that just an old tale? I've never seen one up close and I heard they cost a fortune, even for just one alone."

"They're real," I said with a small laugh. "I would know, I've eaten one."

Y/N nearly jumped before she darted over toward me, her hands grabbing at my shoulders. She still had a slice of half-chewed apple in her mouth which made her struggle to properly speak. "WHAT? You- NO! You didn't?!" She let go of my arms and instead planted her hands on my chest, shoving me back. I collapsed back against the bed, laughing. "You ate one?!"

"Years ago, when I was fifteen."

"You're lying!"

"I'm not. It was a mistake actually."

"What happened?"

I chuckled and pushed myself back up. "Give me an orange and I'll tell you."

If my reflexes weren't so quick, the fruit would've hit me in the face with how quick she threw it. But I caught it and began to pick apart the peel. "Easy, next time," I smirked and took a bite from it. "Well, when I was younger and was a pirate-in-training, the crew I was in raided this ginormous ship and hit the motherload. Not only gold and jewels and anything you could think of, but there was also a devil fruit. I found out how much they were worth and tried to steal it but I was caught in a predicament and I tried to hide it in my mouth."

"And?"

"I swallowed it whole."

She gasped, "And you're alive?"

"It doesn't kill you. It just takes your ability to swim when you're in the ocean, in salt water. It's like the sea turned its back on you."

"Did you get a power from it?"

I shrugged and winked at her, taking another bite. I licked the juices from my hand. "Guess."

"You can fly?"

"Ha! Nope."

"Read minds?"

"It's body-altering."

"Wait," The lovely maiden smirked, taking a seat on the bed. "Did it give you that red nose?" She snickered.

"Guess again," I said flatly, my expression turning cold as I stared at her. She gulped, clenching her jaw. I laughed and looked down at my lap, now using one hand to hold the orange. I continued to chew on it. But while she was distracted with her numerous attempts to guess what kind of body-altering power I had, I detached my left hand at the wrist. It floated behind the both of us and tapped on her right shoulder. Y/N jumped up, her head shooting to look at her side. Her eyes widened and her eyebrows furrowed together before she spotted my floating hand waving at her. She gasped and slapped it away. I broke out into a fit of laughter, my hand reconnecting to my wrist. "Impressive, huh?"

"You- what?" She was still flabbergasted.

"I ate the chop-chop fruit. It allows me to pretty much chop any part of my body. Like I can-" To avoid grossing her out, I chopped my left leg from my thigh instead of my head from my neck. She watched in amazement. I smiled at this. "I can disconnect anything from my body from my toes to my ears to my-"

"Even... ya know?"

I winked. "Oh, yeah. That, too."

"That's so cool. How come you haven't done it before around me?"

"I don't know. I just never found a reason to." Shrugging my shoulders, I allowed my leg to snap back. I continued to chew on the orange before finishing it and tossing the peel into a small bin to the left of the bedside table. Y/N finished hers as well. She wiped her hands down on her shirt.

"So, uh," I chewed on my bottom lip. "Do you think you and your mother will be okay?"

"Yeah. We fight all the time. Her drinking doesn't help."

I cringed. "Really?"

"Yeah, she's one of the reasons I hate it so much."

I pursed my lips and nodded my head. I knew I needed to cut back on it but it was something I've done for well over more than half my life. Though, I was destined to do it. Not only for myself, but for her, too. I'd do anything for Y/N. "So," I began, "what do you want to do today?"

"I need to go make up with my mother. That's a big to-do. I can't stand her ever being upset with me." The girl said as she stood up, slipping her shoes back onto her feet. "We can have dinner tonight if you want. Maybe you could meet her."

"Meet your mom?"

"Yeah, why not? She was wondering where all that money came from. She thought I stole it."

"Hell, I don't know. I'm not good with meeting new people."

"Will you, at least, consider it?"

"Sure," I smirked.

"Thank you." Y/N reached for the doorknob, giving it a strong and firm tug before it yanked open. A gush of cold wind washed over her, almost knocking her back. I tossed her my coat to which she whispered another 'thank you' then slipped it on. "I'll see you, Buggy."

"Bye," I murmured with a smile.

As soon as the door shut, I jumped down from the bed and pulled the drawer out from the nightstand, dropping it on the stone floor. I sorted through the numerous books and grabbed the novel I was so fucking thankful she didn't look through. As I opened the cover, the hollowed book had contents that almost spilled out. Papers among papers, among sketches fell out, wafting along the floor. Several notes about Y/N puddled on the floor. One, which was my favorite, was a letter I wrote to her- well, I refused to send it. If I sent it, any last fiber of my confidence would be crushed like a scrambled egg. My fingers lined the rigid edges as I unfolded it.

Messy paragraphs lined both the front and back of the page.

I smiled. How long ago did I write this? I haven't looked at it in so long. I usually added a sentence to it each time I saw Y/N, which is why it was so long. But I stopped pouring my thoughts and desires into it when I actually had the pleasure of speaking to her.

If she saw this, I would kill myself.

I'd purposely jump into the ocean with two anchors attached to my feet.

I looked over the first paragraph,

'I've never wanted something so badly in my life. To say I yearned for her would be a complete understatement. I longed for her, I yearned, I desired- In simple terms, I wanted her. I mean, how could I not? She was an angel. She was a siren. I would purposely listen to her enchanting song, allowing my boat to crash, just if it meant I could be graced by her presence, by her beauty. I was obsessed with her. If she found out my thoughts, my desires, she would never let herself be seen with me. I wouldn't blame her, though. I was obsessive. It was unhealthy, I knew that. But I didn't care. I wouldn't say I loved her because I didn't know what that felt like. I've never experienced it. But perhaps I did love her. I didn't know, I couldn't tell. All I knew was that she was the only treasure I wanted. Not the One Piece, no. Not even that could match up to her alluring person. If I had to travel every sea in order to find her, battle every sea snake in order to touch her, I would. I would in a heartbeat.'

I grimaced, cringing at what I was reading. Thank god, she didn't see this. I didn't even want to see this.

I tucked the papers back into the hollowed-out book, closing it. I slipped the other novels into the drawer then slid it into the nightstand. With the book of secrets, I needed to hide it somewhere she could never find it- where even I struggled to find it. I didn't want to throw it out for I would be completely discarding all of those moments we had together, although she couldn't reconcile them with me because at that time, I was nonexistent to her.

Maybe I could follow my own idea and form my own message in a bottle. I never mentioned her name, nor my own. To an outsider's perspective, it was anonymous.

I shook my head and slipped the book back into the bedside table. She wouldn't be back anytime soon so I had enough time to properly execute a fool-proof plan.

But right now?

I needed to go get another coat.

-=-

her pov;

My mother and I resolved things, just like always. And when she caught wind of a pirate suddenly becoming very fond of me, she begged me to invite him over for dinner. I didn’t think that was the best of ideas. Going out to dinner? Sure! But to have him over? At our house? I cringed at the idea.

She fell ill months ago. Nothing too major, but ever since she’s gotten better, she despises leaving the house and even made me bring her bed downstairs so she could sleep next to the kitchen just in case she had a hankering for something to eat. It was ridiculous, I knew that. But I couldn’t just tell her no. She was my own mother. While I was old enough, I definitely wasn't going to willingly disobey her.

She persisted that I go and grab Buggy so we could have him over for dinner, while I insisted we all go out to eat. She hated the idea and told me that it was her house, her rules.

I grimaced at the thought.

Now, I was just outside Buggy's home, knocking on the stone door. I hoped he was home, though there was no possibility of me being able to ask him prior to my arrival. I knew he was busy. He was a very busy man. I was surprised he made time for me.

With another knock, another silence fell. I groaned and backed up.

My eyes trailing down, I stared at the doorknob and chewed on my bottom lip. He wouldn't care if I waited inside, right? We trusted each other. He knew where I lived and I knew where he lived. As far as I knew, he never crossed any of my boundaries and I definitely didn't cross any of his- well, except for maybe 'snooping' through his nightstand.

Without thinking too much more about it, I grabbed the rusted doorknob, gave it a firm twist, then shoved it open. I almost fell through the doorway.

I caught my balance and stepped inside, closing the door behind me. Without the lantern being lit, it was rather dark, but the bright blue sky helped to illuminate the small room. He must've not been home since I left.

I looked around, admiring everything.

As I took a seat on the edge of the bed, I noticed a piece of paper laying on the floor. It wasn't there before.

I raised an eyebrow and reached to grab it but before I could, the door flung open, a certain blue-haired pirate standing in the entrance. When he noticed me, he smirked. I gulped.

"So, we're breaking and entering, are we?" The man grinned as he took a few paces forward.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, scratching the back of my neck. "I came over to ask you about dinner but you weren't here so I figured I would wait."

"No worries, I'm only teasing."

"So?" I folded my arms, leaning forwards.

"So what?" Buggy questioned as he slipped his coat off. Since when did he get a new coat? And why? I was only borrowing the one he lent me. I didn't plan on keeping it. But I guess now it was okay if I did.

"Dinner? Are you available?"

"Hmm, it depends. What time?"

"I don't know, sometime tonight? Only for two hours or so. My mother wanted to meet you. I told her about you."

"What did you tell her?"

"That you've been a friend of mine for a few weeks now and you've been fortunate enough to treat me and help me out," I said with a smile. "She thought you were my boyfriend." I chuckled.

"Heh, that's rich," Buggy said as he turned around to close the door.

"So? Can you?"

"I guess so. Just don't leave me alone with her. I really don't want to be bombarded with questions." The man said as he folded the jacket over his arm then slung it on the countertop. "Did you tell her about my nose?"

I laughed, confused. "No? Why would I?"

"It's my defining feature. It's hard not to notice it when you see me."

"I didn't tell her. I didn't think it was important. I even forget it's there."

The clown burst out in laughter, his eyes closing as he clutched his stomach and nearly fell back with his fit of giggles. I pursed my lips. "What's so funny?" I asked as I crossed my arms.

"It's cute how you're trying to be nice to me. With a nose like mine, how can you forget it's there?" He replied while wiping a tear from his eye.

I felt flustered with the first part of his monologue but I ignored it and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, I just do. It's not all I see whenever I look at you, ya know. It's not my main focus point when we speak. I look at your eyes, not your nose."

"And yet again, you prove to me that you're different than others."

I smiled. "Hope that's a good thing."

Buggy smirked, winking his left eye. "Of course it is."

The pirated approached me before he knelt down and picked up the piece of paper. He examined it for a moment then laughed to himself. "Grocery list," He explained as he shoved the paper into his pocket.

I paid no attention to the paper. It wasn't any of my business. "Speaking of groceries, want to go help me get food for dinner?"

"What's on the menu?"

"No idea, but let's just grab something so she won't be bitching later."

"Guess I'll be needing this again," The blue-haired man said as he reached to grab his jacket. He slipped his arms through and adjusted the collar. "We match now."

"Mine's more vintage than yours." I winked.

"Oh, so it's yours now?"

"No?" I gulped.

Buggy giggled. "It is. I got my own now so no worries about giving it back. Unless you'd like to trade from time to time."

"No, I like this one."

The man looked at me, an eyebrow cocked upward.

I paid his look no attention and instead looked down at the tattered suede coat I wore. I inhaled softly. It smelled like him.

A soft odor mixed with whiskey, coconut, and cinnamon. And while I hated the stench of alcohol, it worked for him.

I couldn't imagine him without it.

#buggy the clown #buggy the genius jester #buggy x reader #captain buggy #one piece live action #buggy smut #buggy one piece #op buggy #buggy #x reader #buggy x you #buggy x y/n #one piece buggy #buggy opla

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thehighpriestess1 · 1 year

Text

August : 11

Summary : Fights, doubts, anger and love surround Gojo and Y/n as they try to figure out how to deal with the reunion.

Pairing : Gojo x y/n

Word count : 12k.

Warning : angst, language, slight smut. 18+ only.

Masterlist : Previous

Ask Box

There was momentary silence followed by Gojo’s threat. Trample this village to the ground? You stared at him in disbelief. His gaze sharp as a knife, pierced through your heart. In one life Gojo had broken your heart for the third time. There was no point in arguing with him. He always gets what he wants. Always. And you? You were well aware of your luck by now. You hated him. You hated him so much. You wanted to scream and shout and throw a fit but you couldn’t. True rage is always silent and often unnoticed. You had no power over him, you thought. You were just a pawn in his game. But even a pawn can be dangerous when it has the right motivation, you turned and looked at your son. You couldn’t hide anymore. No matter where’d run off too, Gojo will always find you.

“How dare you come here and threaten me?!”. You snarled.

“How dare I?”. Gojo scoffed. “How could you keep my son away from me?!”. Gojo stepped towards you.

“What was I supposed to do Gojo?! I know It wasn’t right of me but what else did you expect from me?!”. You yelled. “I didn't know what was out there or who was waiting to kill me! I was terrified! There were people showing up at the house asking for me and these people protected me by risking their lives and now you stand here and threaten them! I was terrified!. Your knees felt weak but you held your ground by leaning on the crib. “I was so scared,you have no idea..”. You sobbed.

Gojo looked at you sobbing with tears in his eyes. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to take the step and hold you in his arms and assure you that everything would be alright but he couldn’t. There was an invisible force field separating the two of you.

You looked up at him, “You think it was easy for me to do all of this alone? Do you really think I would keep our child away just to get some revenge on you? Is that what you think of me?”. You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. “I would have reached out to you eventually if it was just me but I couldn’t risk his life. I didn’t know who was waiting out there, Was it Naoya? Utahime? I didn’t know. All I knew was that ..”. You took a deep breath and looked down in the crib. “..I had to protect him.”.

Gojo stared at you in silence, he didn’t realize the weight of his words until it was too late. When he saw the look on your face he knew he went too far. He was desperate. Desperate to have you. He sucked in a sharp breath and closed his eyes as you turned to Keisuke. “Y/n I..I thought you were dead. You..I know it was hard for you but it wasn’t easy for me either. I couldn't eat! I couldn't sleep! For god's sake y/n I lived with your ghost! When I saw you today I…I thought I was dreaming but when I realized that you were really here I…I felt like I could breathe again. You had Keisuke but I had no one y/n. I kept cursing myself for leaving you that day. I shouldn't have left you. I should have listened to you! I…I am not asking you to forgive me just yet. I'm asking you to pity me and give me another chance to live because I don't think I can live without you anymore!!". Gojo let out a heavy breath. You looked at him, he looked desperate, tired, like a man who returned from a lost war. "I didn’t mean to do it this way but I..I can’t risk losing you again”. He was gasping for breath.

This was a dilemma. You knew you could no longer continue to live like you lived. You couldn't run, you didn't want to run.

"There is no point in arguing anymore. You always get what you want anyway so fine let's do it your way but I have a few conditions”. You spoke bleakley. Pleadingly. Turning away to look at your son.

“Anything. I'd give you anything y/n”. Gojo said, staring at your back.

You turned around and looked at him helplessly. He knew that look. That’s the same way people looked at him when they begged for their lives. He had never thought he would see you this way and it broke his heart.

“I want Keisuke to live a healthy and happy life”.

“Okay”. Gojo ran his hand through his hair and leaned back against the cream wall.

“I mean, I want to keep him away from …. Whatever that you do. No weapons or dirty business around him”.

Gojo gritted his teeth. It was insulting the lowly you thought of him. “Ok”.

“I will have a say in every decision when it comes to him”.

“Obviously”.

“I..I don’t know ..what..”. You hesitated. “..our relation is but-”.

“You’re my wife”. Gojo cut you off. It was non-negotiable.

You looked at him and walked over to the counter to pull out the proof of your new identity. “Y/n L/n was your wife. I am officially Hana Sato”. You handed him the plastic card.

Gojo took the card from your hand with a frown on your face. He looked at the card and then back at you. It was your face but not your name.Did Hiro give this to you? Is this why Yuta couldn’t find you? He smiled and then broke the card in two pieces. “Problem solved”.

You stared at him with your mouth hung open. “You..did you just?”. You pointed at the broken pieces of plastic in his hand.

“Next”. Gojo cut you off again.

“Are we married?”

“Yes”.

“Are we married legally?”.

“Yes”.

You took a deep breath. “Then I want a divorce”.

Gojo straightened up and put his hands in his pockets. “No”.

“Gojo..plea-”.

“No means no, y/n. We are married and we are going to stay that way. Regardless of what you think of me I am not going to raise my child in a broken home”.

It hurt that Gojo was right. “Fine then. Stay married to me. But you can’t ..have relations with any other woman”.

Gojo let out a tired sigh. Did you really have to tell him that? “Agreed”. But then it clicked. “Wait..did you have any..boyfriend..or whatever ..here?”. Gojo asked, frowning.

“That’s none of your business”. You replied coldly.

Keisuke let out a whimper, you pressed your palm flat against your forehead and took a deep breath. What a mess this whole situation was. “I need to feed him so ..please leave now”. You turned and picked up Keisuke from the crib and brought him to bed.

“No. I..I want to..be here and help”.

“And how do you think you could help me feed him?”.

The sarcasm in your tone irked Gojo. Like it reminded him of his place. “What else can I do then?”.

You sighed. There was so much to do. You had to feed Keisuke, pack your bags, and tell Mr. and Mrs.Itadori what happened. You didn’t have the energy to argue with Gojo now.

“Fine. If you want to help then can you just…pack the bags?”.

“You don’t need to take anything y/n. I can have everything there before we reach”.

You glared at him. “Can you please just do as I say?”.

“Fine”.

You turned around and faced the wall as you fed Keisuke. It was awkward with Gojo in the room. Keisuke who was blissfully unaware of the situation tugged on your hair strand while he sucked on happily. “There is a black suitcase in the cupboard behind the crib. Did you find it?”.

Gojo rolled up his shirt sleeves and looked around until he saw the said cupboard. “Yes”. He took the suitcase out and unzipped it.

“In the drawer ..on the right side of the cupboard you will see his sweaters, take out the red one and put it in the crib”.

Gojo stood up and started pulling out the sweaters until he saw the red one.

“Ouch baby slowly!”. You winched when Keisuke tugged with force.

Gojo paused, “Sorry”.

“Not you!”. You groaned.

“Oh right..sorry. I got the sweater. Where did you even buy this?”. Gojo asked.

“I..knitted it. Ouch! Keisuke stop pulling my hair”.

Gojo turned around momentarily and thought maybe he should say something. “Stop annoying mom. We need to leave soon”.

To your sad surprise, Keisuke let go of your hair strand. But you didn’t tell it to Gojo.

“Pick out a few of his overalls from the drawer below and pack them. Take out the blue one with the giraffe and keep it on the crib”.

Gojo did as he was told. HIs eyes welled up lightly thinking about how he didn’t get to pick clothes for his son. “Done”.

“In the drawer below that, you’ll see his shoes. Pick out the blue ones and keep the rest in a suitcase”.

Gojo held the shoes in the palm of his hand, they were so small and adorable. “Done”.

“You will see three stuffed toys in his crib”. You continued ordering Gojo around.

“Yes!”.

“Pack the shark, carrot and the bunny…keep the carrot out and pack the other two”.

Gojo stared at the crochet stuffed toys. He picked them up and gave it a light squish. He has missed out on so much when it came to his own son. Was the carrot his favorite toy?

“Are you listening?”. You called out.

Gojo glared at you and tossed the two toys in the suitcase and kept the carrot out. “Done”. He spoke sternly.

“There is a travel bag under his crib. It’s pink in color”.

Gojo bent down and toko the cushioned bag out. “Got it”.

“There is baby formula and a bottle inside it. Can you make it?”.

Gojo glared at you, if you had been facing him, his stare would have scared you. “No Y/n”. Gojo gritted his teeth. “I can’t make it”.

“Ugh. Fine I’ll do it”. Luckily Keisuke was done. You wiped his mouth with the cloth and picked him up. You turned out and let out an audible tired sigh when you saw the condition of the room. Clothes were falling out of the drawer, drawers were left open, the cupboard door was open. You felt dizzy but you had to push through.

“Can you..make him burp?”. You asked, looking at clueless Gojo.

“I can try..what do I do?”.

“Hold him, how I am holding him right now”.

Gojo nodded and extended his arm forward. He took Keisuke from you and surprisingly did a good job at holding him. He was too scared to move. This was the second time he was holding his son. He was so small and warm and soft and Gojo was scared to even breathe. He looked at him and then hugged him a little tighter. Keisuke giggled and Gojo smiled. Keisuke grabbed Gojo's ear and Gojo winced initially but then he smiled when he realized that it was his son. Gojo never wanted to let him go.

“Good", you replied." Now just walk around slowly and pat his back lightly”. Gojo was nervous but he did as he was told and followed you into the kitchen.

“Did you eat breakfast?”. You asked as you tied your hair up once again in a bun and began prepping. You wanted to scream and fight but you had to remain calm and think rationally. Everything was happening too fast. One moment you were angry at Gojo and next you were internally gushing over him holding Keisuke. You had imagined how Gojo would look walking around with Keisuke in his arms, would he hold him properly? How would Keisuke react? Now that you had seen it you felt guilty about your intentions.

“No”. Gojo said as he continued doing what he was told. He stood in the entryway to the kitchen and watched you. This felt warmly domestic.

“Ok ok. Ummmm ok”. You continued without looking at him. “First we need to boil the bottle. We do this to disinfect. While this happens we boil the water for the formula. It will take two minutes so keep an eye on the electric kettle”. You put the bottle in a pan filled with water.

“Why are we making him burp?”. Gojo asked.

“Because if we don’t then he might puke out the food and we don’t want that”.

Gojo nodded. He wondered how you manage everything.

“While that is happening..”. You trailed off as you put rice in a ceramic bowl and kept it on the table. You had Miso soup in the fridge and you took it out and warmed it on another stove. “..right where were we? Bottle..yes. You see the bubbles forming. It means it’s done”. You took out the bottle from the pan with tongs and kept it on a clean tray to cool. The water in the kettle has cooled down.

You continued to make the baby formula and Gojo watched your every move. Though he doubted he would ever need to do this but as a father he should know this. You kept the bottle in the travel bag and took Keisuke from his hand. “I have kept your breakfast on the counter. Eat it. I will go an..explain something to Mr. and mrs.Itadori”.

You left the room through the other door to go meet the family.

Gojo watched you leave in a hurry and then stared at the two bowls of food in front of him. He smiled as he brought the tray to the small table and sat on the wooden chair. He ate and looked around the house. He pictured you, waddling around with your belly growing everyday. Did you have a healthy pregnancy? He realized he should have asked that. He pictured you walking through the door with the newborn baby, did you think of him when you went into labor? Did you think of him when you delivered? Did you ever think of reaching out to him after he was born? There were so many questions he wanted to ask but he didn’t know how to, or when to ask them. He didn’t know where the boundary began and where did it end? It was blurry in places and non-existent in others. But when it came to your personal life, he realized that it was rock solid. He wondered if you'd ever open up to him. Will the two of you spend the rest of your life living like a cold distant couple?

Gojo hardly eats breakfast but he looked at the empty bowls in front of him and realized he could eat this very meal everyday. He picked up the tray and took it to sink. There were a few other dishes in there and he realized it was unlike you to leave them this way. So he began cleaning. He cleaned and wiped the plates,bowls and spoons and kept them neatly on a side. He realized that you had created this home, bit by bit, straw by straw, and he was going to uproot it. He realized that he didn’t ask you if you wanted to come with him, he didn’t give you an option, he realized that he selfishly demanded you to come with him. He’d apologize for that later, when you’d have some time together.

He sat down on the couch and stared blankly at the door through which you left. You were alive. It finally dawned on him. He chuckled. His y/n was alive. The love of his life was alive! He had a son! Gojo smiled ear to ear like a mad man. He was relieved. He was glad he kept the ring all this time. Will you wear it again? He was glad for the clothes he bought for you. But Keisuke would need clothes. He took his phone out and had almost texted Yuri to buy baby clothes when he stopped. No. He wanted to shop for clothes with you. He will paint the nursery with you. He will set up the crib himself. He smiled thinking about it.

-X-

“What do you mean you are leaving now?!”. Mrs.Itadori gasped.

Mr.Itadori remained calm. He knew that Keisuke needed a father. He watched as you sobbed silently across from them. It had hardly been 30 minutes since they came back from the temple when you walked down holding Keisuke.

“I know it’s sudden. But we don’t have time. I don’t want to turn him away”. Half lie, half truth. You couldn’t turn him away. If you do, then everyone will lose everything. “I promise you I will call and I will visit whenever I get a chance”.

Mrs.Itadori held your hand, “I am not stopping you, y/n. I want you to live a good life. Is there anything we could do to-”.

“No. You have done more than anyone. You made me realize what family truly means and I will miss you so much”. You wiped your tears with the tissue paper.

“It’s okay y/n. We will visit you too. Mrs.itadori walked around the table and hugged you. You wrapped your arms around her waist and sobbed into her chest. She stroked your hair and controlled her own tears. In the past one year you had become the daughter she never had.

“Y/n-chan is going?”. Yuji asked innocently with his two front teeth missing.

You pulled back from the hug and knelt on the ground to pull Yuji into a hug. “I promise I will visit you”. You kissed his cheek and handed him the toy you had bought for him earlier.

“Are you taking Keisoo too?”. He asked as he took the toy from your hand.

“Yes baby. I have to”. You smoothed out his spiky hair.

Yuji’s face turned red and he threw the toy on the floor. “I don’t want your toy! You can’t leave yuji!”.

Mr.Itadori picked up the toy and patted Yuji’s head. “That's a bad habit! Y/n has to go. Like Yuji has to go to school”.

Yuji looked at you with puffed up cheeks. “You..you will come again?”.

“Yes I will. I promise I will!”. You peppered kisses all over his face.

"Don't go! Don't leave Yuji!". You held you and started crying and you picked him up and wiped his tears. "I promise I will visit you. I will bring more toys for you!".

“Do you need any help with Packing?”. Mrs.Itadori asked.

You kept Yuji down and smoothed your dress. “No no. I have packed everything. We will leave in a while”.

Mr.Itadori picked up Keisuke from the baby chair and cooed. “My baby boy. Grow up healthy and strong and take care of you mommy”. Keisuke babeled something and mr.Itadori laughed. “Tell me y/n, Is this man a good person? If you have any doubt you tell me right now. I will not let you leave with him”.

You chewed on your lip. What were you to tell him that the man who was the father of your child is the same man who killed Hiro?. “Yes. He is a good man”.

-X-

You entered your room and saw Gojo cleaning up the bedroom. You didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want to leave the family. You felt powerless.

“Oh you’re here. I have called the driver and he will be here in 30 minutes”.

You sobbed and nodded your head. “Can you…can you”. You sniffled. You shook your head and took a deep breath. “Can you please hold him for a while..I ..I need to be alone”.

Gojo stepped forward and took the baby from your hand. You walked inside the bedroom and closed the door behind you. Gojo heard a lock click but didn’t say anything. He sat down on the couch silently.

As soon as you were alone you started heaving. Was it another anxiety attack? You went into the bathroom and closed the door behind you and sat down on the floor. You cried, you wanted to cry and yell but instead you kept a hand over your mouth to prevent any noise from escaping. You were leaving, you were really leaving. You thought about how you painted the room in summer, how you bought a measuring tape and decided on which wall to measure Keisuke’s height, how you were thinking about adding more cartoon stickers on the wall next summer, how you built the crib, and now you were leaving all of it behind. You were leaving the only people who had ever cared about you. You cursed the gods for this fate.Why show you happiness when they always take it away in the end? Your throat hurt and your head felt heavy. You wished you had never gone down to the store in the morning. Then maybe..just maybe..you could have continued to live here in your little paradise.

You got out of the room draggin the suitcase behind you. Gojo stood up immediately as soon as he heard the door unlock. “I have packed everything we need in this. I have kept his medical documents in the pink bag”. You kept both the bags in the center of the room. You turned around and took in the view of your apartment one last time.

Gojo could see the pain on your face. Your eyes were red and heavy, your face had lost its color and somehow you looked weaker than you did this morning. He held the baby with one hand and tried reaching for yours with another but you pulled your arm away as soon as you felt his touch.

“I need to get him ready”. You made Keisuke lie down on the couch and started dressing him. Gojo kneeled down on the floor next to you. “Y/n..please look at me”. He didn’t try to touch you. He just wanted you to look at him.

You stopped what you were doing and turned your head towards him, “What do you want?”. You asked.

"Love ..I know it's hard-".

"Don't call me that. It makes me sick". You snapped back at him.

Gojo's words died down in his throat . He shook his head and you turned yours back to Keisuke. Once he was done getting ready, you packed away his old clothes in the bag.

“Do you even have a car seat?”. You asked.

“I have arranged for it. There is also a doctor on standby at every hospital on the way”.

You nodded your head. You sat on the floor,holding Keisuke in your hand, with your back resting against the couch and Gojo sat next to you. “Can I ask you for a favor?”. You gulped harshly.

“Anything”. Gojo replied as he stared ahead at the wall.

“Can you ..please..get someone to clean out this apartment. I don’t want to trouble them”.

“Done”.

“And..And can you get help for them? Preferably a woman. They are getting old and Yuji is still young”.

“Done”.

“Thank you”.

Gojo turned his head and saw a tear roll down your cheeks.

“And Gojo..”. You turned towards him.”..if anything happens to me tell Keisuke about me. Bring him here once in a while. Please”.

“No. Nothing will happen to you”. Gojo frowned, why were you making this request? What will happen to you? He won't let anything happen to you.

“Just..promise me”.

Gojo sighed. “I promise”.

-X-

Gojo stood near the car as you said your goodbyes. Mrs.Itadori handed you another bag full of food and a sweater she had knit for Keisuke. You hugged the family one last time and kissed Yuji before walking away for forever. You looked up at where your apartment was and imagined it to be lifeless and haunted. You bit your lip and turned away before you brokedown once again.

Gojo fastened Keisuke in the car seat placed between the two of you. You sat down in your seat and wiped your tears with the tissue paper. Your eyes burnt with all the crying. Keisuke was dozing off and the driver was given clear instructions on when to stop for rest and how to drive.

“He’s asleep”. Gojo commented, trying to start a conversation as the car turned.

But you didn’t reply and kept staring outside at the village you called home. You kept on staring without blinking at the shop until it was out of sight and when it was you closed your eyes and leaned back in the leather seat.

“I know it’s tough for you to leave but-”.

“You could have at least asked me what I wanted”. You mumbled. Gojo could see your lips quivering. “It’s too late now anyway”. You kept your eyes closed but didn’t wipe the tears rolling down the corners.

Gojo bit his lip. “Please y/n. You have to understand that it wasn’t that easy for me either”.

“And yet I am the one leaving everything behind”.

It was true, Gojo thought as he looked away. Was this the right time to talk? He wondered. He looked at Keisuke sleeping blissfully in the car seat with Mr.carrot by his side. He looked healthy and happy. You had taken good care of him, but who took care of you?

“I hope you know that I will look for a lawyer when we reach Tokyo”. You spoke, looking straight ahead.

Gojo’s heart skipped a beat. “Y/n you can't be serious. Do you really want to raise our son in-”.

“I will raise my son how I see fit. I have gone through the entire pregnancy without you and I am sure I can raise him well on my own. I would rather he grow up without a father than grow up in your world”.

Your words pierced his heart like a dagger. You knew your words stung and your intentions were cruel but you were ready to do anything and everything in your power to give Keisuke a better life.

Gojo gritted his teeth. This was not the reunion he had expected. Were you forgetting that you were the one who had betrayed him? You were the one who lied to him? Had you told him the truth then none of this would have been happening right now. “Do you really think it is in the best interest of Keisuke?”. Gojo asked.

No. You knew that it was not. You knew what it was like to grow up in a dysfunctional family and you knew you were acting selfish. “Yes”. You said. Even if it kills you for real this time, you will fight for your son.

“Why?”. Gojo asked. “Why do all this when we can try and be a family?”.

“Family?”. You turned towards him with a shocked face. “Do you even love me? Do you even care about what I want? Have you ever cared about what I want? You wanted to marry Utahime so you left me! You wanted to be with me so you practically kidnapped me and lied to me about everything! You..you killed Hiro for god's sake! And now you..you didn’t even bother to ask me if I want to come with you. You threatened me! Where is love in all this Gojo?!”. You put your hand over your eye and slumped back in the seat.

Gojo sat silently. How could you ask him that? He knew what he did was wrong. He knew you had every right to be angry but..”I have loved you since the day I saw you y/n. I have made many mistakes along the way but I never..”. His voice quivered. “..I never meant to hurt you. I know I acted harshly but I did it out of desperation but I swear I did it all to protect you. I agree my means were not the most ethical and I deserve your hatred but I did to protect you. I didn’t know better back then y/n. But I do now so please just give us a chance”.

Gojo leaned his head back and took a quick breath. He didn’t want to lose his composure on you when he was already a villain in your eyes. “I always wanted to have a family. You knew that. I..I missed out on so much. I wanted to be there with you and I couldn’t”.

No. You were not going to believe him. You had heard enough. You had seen enough. You had been through enough. “I Know that you have every power in the world to take Keisuke away from me and I..I can’t risk that. He means everything to me and I can’t live without him”. You spoke as you turned your face away.

Gojo hummed. “And I can’t live without you y/n. Every power I have means nothing in front of you. I just want a chance to prove that I deserve to have you and Keisuke in my life”.

You frowned. “Fine. A month. You get a month”

“Fine then”. Gojo smiled sadly. “But remember that I will be fighting not just for Keisuke but for you too and I will win”.

You poked your tongue in cheek in annoyance.

“..and y/n?”. Gojo smiled.

“What?”. You snapped back.

“Stop calling me Gojo. You’re a Gojo too”. Gojo bent down and kissed Kisuke gently. “-and so is he”.

-X-

Yuri woke up in Gojo's bed, wearing Gojo’s shirt. She wasn’t allowed in here. No one was, except Jerry. But since Gojo was out, she took the liberty. She took in his scent and smiled lazily to herself. She missed him already. Missed his smile. His anger. His eyes. She was hopelessly in love with Gojo Satoru. She turned to see the photo frame on his nightstand. It had black and white photobooth photos collaged together. She wondered why he ever fell for you? You looked normal. A bit dull compared to him. She wished she could scratch off your face from every photo but there were lines she couldn’t cross yet. She had always thought that all men want is sex, but to her surprise Gojo Satoru was different. He turned down her advances. She had tried to get him drunk so he would finally fall for her and thought she had succeeded when Gojo let her kiss her cheek but at the end of the night he went back to his room. She had to make him love her. She turned on her back and stared at the ceiling.

Once your death anniversary passes, she will marry Gojo Satoru. “Gojo Yuri”. She giggled to herself. She wondered how their first night would be. Would he be wild with her or would he be gentle? She wondered how it’d feel when he’d kiss her. Her hand slipped inside her thong as she imagined it to be his fingers, his tongue, his cock. She wondered how he’d look above her, beneath her, behind her. Her breath quickened as she increased the pace. She wondered what term of endearment he would use for her. Her hips twitched as she neared her climax. She imagined his moans and groans as she came whimpering his name. This wasn’t the first time she had cum thinking about him but she was getting tired of using her fingers.

She turned her head and picked up her phone, 9:00 AM. Gojo must be done with his work. He said he would return by night, she would make dinner for him. Steak? Pasta? She wondered what he would be in the mood of.

“Jerry!...Jerry!”. She yelled on top of her lungs.

“Yes Ms.Yuri”. Jerry hurriedly rushed in. He was terrified of Yuri and disliked her severely. She had tormented many of the house staff and he had to go above and beyond to either make them stay or compensate them adequately.

“What’s for breakfast?”.

“Mr.Gojo is not here today”. Jerry replied with his eyes set on the floor. Yuri had asked him to never look her in the eyes and always keep his hands folded in front of him whenever he was talking to her or Gojo. She said it was to remind him of his place. After 10 years of service, he naturally felt insulted by her demand but obeyed anyway.

“So? Is he the only one who eats in this house?”.

“I’m sorry ma’am. I wasn’t aware that you’d be eating your breakfast here today”.

Yuri scoffed. “I want a blueberry smoothie and scrambled egg. Got it?”.

“Yes…ma’am”.

Yuri walked to the dining area with two helpers behind her, one carrying her black Birkin bag and other carrying her cashmere coat. Her red bottom heels clicked with every step. Another help stepped forward and opened the door for her. Another help pulled out her chair for her. Every house help hated being in her presence. Even Gojo Satoru didn’t treat them this way then who did she think she was to demand this treatment. But they were always too scared to say anything. The last help who spoke up was tortured for three days straight.

Yuri scrolled on her instagram as she finished the last bits of her eggs. She had nothing to do today. Maybe she would go shopping or to a spa or both. She was about to leave when she saw Gojo’s message. She read it and then read it again. No. It can’t be possible. She called Gojo immediately but he cut the call. She called again and he cut the call again.

“NO! NO! NO!!! NO!!”. She yelled as she threw the glasses and plated at the wall. Jerry and others stood at a distance and watched her.

When she was done breaking every piece of breakable thing in the room she stood up straight, her hair stuck to her forehead, chest heaving, mouth open, eyes wide with shock. She turned towards Jerry and gritted her teeth. “That bitch!...That fucking bitch is alive!”.

She opened her phone again. “y/n is alive. I am bringing her and the baby home”. She looked at Jerry again. “Did Satoru text you?”.

“Yes he did”.

“What did he say?”. Yuri asked and she pushed aside her hair.

“He has asked me to get the house ready. They will be here before dinner”.

Yuri stared at the phone in her hand, and chuckled. “You can get the downstairs bedroom ready for her and her little spawn”.

“Mr.Gojo has asked us to..get his room ready for them”.

Yuri raised an eyebrow. “What?”.

“He said that they will be sleeping in the master bedroom”.

-X-

The car ride was silent for most of the time. You made a mental note of things you would need to do.A month seemed too long and too short at the same time but it could give you enough time to find your footing if you were to divorce Gojo. You wondered if you could tell Gojo everything that had happened but would he use it against you. He could. Your head felt heavy thinking about everything. You looked at Keisuke, still fast asleep and thanked the gods that Keisuke did not wake up. But it was post lunch and you wanted to feed him.

“What happened?”. Gojo asked, looking at you. You looked adorable, like a kid trying to decide which candy to buy.

“He is sleeping a lot”. You said.

“Isn’t that a good thing?”. Gojo questioned. He had been reading articles all this time on babies and fatherhood but he felt he still had a lot to learn.

“Not really. If he sleeps now then he won't sleep at night. If he doesn’t sleep at night then I won’t sleep at night”.

“We won’t sleep at night”. Gojo corrected.

You rolled your eyes at him and tried to wake up Keisuke. Gojo checked his watch, it was 2:00 PM. Let’s stop for lunch. He told the driver who gave him a curt nod. Keisuke opened his eyes and stretched his arms. You were accustomed to his cuteness and yet it melted your heart but watching Gojo melt over his toothless yawns and spit bubbles was even more endearing.

“Aaaw that’s a big yawn! Mumma woke up my baby”. Gojo stroked Keisuke’s cheeks.

“Are you hungry?”. You bent down and patted his stomach lightly. Keisuke looked between the two of you and then gave a toothless smile.

“Aaah his cuteness will give me a heart attack”. Gojo put his palm over his chest and you chuckled.

The car came to a halt at a pitstop. “You should eat something”. Gojo said as you pulled out the milk bottle from the bag.

“I’m not hungry”. You replied coldly. Gojo could pretend to be a happy family all he wanted but you were not going to budge.

“You gave me a month, remember? So let me take care of my love ”. Gojo pleaded.

You bit the inside of your cheek, “Do whatever you want”. You replied without looking at him and just like that your armor was up.

Gojo smiled, He knew it wasn’t a yes but it wasn’t a no either, and got out of the car. You let Keisuke stay in the car seat and fed him from the bottle. You won’t lie that motherhood is tiring and tough. Maybe having Gojo around until you settle down on your own wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Gojo walked in between the aisles of 7-Eleven and cursed himself for not thinking this through. He would never let you eat any of this. This is not something a new mother should be eating. He groaned in frustration, how the hell was he going to prove himself to you if he didn’t even know what you could eat or not. He picked up his phone and called the only person who could help him. Shoko.

It had been over 20 minutes since Gojo left and Keisuke was done feeding. He was wide awake now so you opened the car door and got down with him in your arms. The weather was perfect. The sun shone brightly and the air was cool. Keisuke burped twice as you patted his back.

“Why are you out of the car?”. You heard Gojo’s voice and turned around to see him walking towards you.

“Just wanted to stretch my legs and he needed to burp”. You smiled. You realized that you had kept your sweater in the car and now you were starting to feel the winter. You kept Keisuke down back in the seat and cracked your fingers. He was starting to get heavy.

“Here. I got sandwiches, chocolate milk, juice, and kit-kats. I wanted to get coffee but I wasn’t sure if you could drink it”.

“Gojo it’s a lot”. You stared at the bag.

“Then we better get started, right?”. He smiled and handed you a sandwich.

The two of you ate in silence standing outside as Keisuke played with the carrot in the car seat.

“Gojo, can I ask you something?”. You asked as you kept the sandwich wrapper in the brown trash bag.

“Yes Gojo you can”. Gojo replied.

You rolled your eyes, “I am serious right now”.

“Fine..y/n. Ask”.

“Did you or do you have a ..girlfriend? If you do then I will have to meet her before letting her get near my son”. You looked down, hesitant to meet his eyes.

“No”. Gojo replied immediately. “I have only loved one woman. My wife. But she ran away last year and now I don’t know where she is”.

You sucked in a sharp breath. “It’s not funny”.

“I mean it. I don’t have any other woman in my life”. Gojo said as he opened the bottle of chocolate milk and handed it to you. You took it without looking at him. “What about you? Any man in your life?”.

“I told you, it’s none of your business”.

Gojo blinked slowly. He knew you were pregnant for most part of the year but how could anyone not fall for you? Was there someone back in the village? He felt a jealous rage course through him. He swore that if he ever found this man he would make him disappear for laying his eyes on you.

“If you do then I will have to meet the man before letting him get anywhere near ‘our’ son”. Gojo retorted.

“Fine”. You replied.

Gojo scoffed but dropped the topic. He could always find out on his own. “Can I ask you something?”. Gojo asked.

“Sure”.

“What did you crave the most when you were pregnant?”

You turned around and leaned back on the car. “I craved a lot of sweets. Mostly warm bread with honey and whipped cream with lots of mochi.It was like a mochi sandwich. Also a lot of cranberry juice”.

Gojo chuckled. Looks like Keisuke took after him. Mochi sandwich? It sounded interesting and something he would love for sure.

You cursed yourself for not carrying your coat. The temperature was dropping every hour and it looked like it would snow soon. You straightened up and turned away to check on Keisuke and felt something warm envelop you. Gojo had put his overcoat around your shoulders.

“It’s fine. I’m not-”. You tried to take it off but Gojo stopped you.

“Keep it. You need to stay warm”.

-X-

You felt someone nudge at your arm. You opened your eyes slowly to see Gojo looking at you. “We are here”.

You straightened up and took a deep breath, “I didn’t realize I had..why didn't you wake me up?” You asked.

“You were sleeping so peacefully”.

You wiped your face with your hand and took Keisuke in your arms. He was awake and looking out with curiosity. Gojo got down from the car and walked around to open the door for you. He held out his hand and you took it as you got out of the car. You looked at the huge traditional mansion in front of you. The entire village could live here happily, You thought to yourself. Gojo stood next to you with his arm resting against your back. You didn’t ask him to move it.

Yuri watched as Gojo held the door open for you and gave his hand out to you. She frowned, Gojo never opened the door for himself. What changed in 12 hours. But she maintained the smile on her face. Whoever you were, you were no match for her. She looked at the baby in your arms and scowled. What a waste of Gojo genetics, she thought to herself. Were you wearing his coat? She scoffed, in her eyes you were nothing more than a farm animal, a charity case for Gojo. But her resolve faltered when she saw the way Gojo looked at you. He looked …alive.

Jerry stood on the other side of the door with a genuine smile on his face. He had met you a few times before and liked you. He was happy to know that you were coming home.

“Hello Jerry”. You greeted him at the door. You were happy to see a familiar face.

“Hello Ms.Y/n. You look beautiful”. Jerry said and gave you a curt bow. “Who do we have here?”. He cooed when he saw Keisuke stare at him. “He is adorable”. Jerry smiled at him and Keisuke being the good boy he was, gave a toothless grin.

“How are you Jerry? And how is Rose?”. You asked.

Jerry’s heart swelled up. You remembered his wife even if you had met her only once. “We are both good and healthy. welcome to Tokyo Ms.y/n”

“Oh he is so adorable!’. Yuri squealed as she stepped in between you and Jerry bent down to look at Keisuke. She looked up at Gojo and winked. “He looked just like you toru”. She cooed. You turned your head back and glared at Gojo.

“Y/n, this is Yuri. She is my assistant”. Gojo said as he pulled you into him. He was just as shocked at Yuri’s reaction as Jerry was. He wasn't expecting her to be here at this time.

“I thought Miwa was your assistant”. You couldn’t control your smile. You were not stupid. You knew what was happening here and you found it extremely amusing. You finally had something over Gojo.

“I am his personal assistant”. Yuri chirped in.

You turned towards Yuri and she smiled and tried to touch Keisuke but you moved your shoulder and blocked it. "Don't touch him". You said and walked away with Gojo in tow.

Yuri was left standing there and the whole fleet walked in front of her to follow you. Who the fuck did you think you were? Did you look down on her? You looked down on her?! She gritted her teeth and walked back in. She saw how you greeted all of the staff and smiled at them. Oh you were faking it for sure. Pretending to be a kind hearted person just so you could get money from Gojo.

“Where do I stay?”. You asked Gojo.

Gojo smiled. “We stay that way”. He said and led you to the master bedroom. The whole mansion was not only huge but was sprawled out over a vast land. It was traditional for most parts. As you walked next to Gojo you noticed how no one looked at you. They greeted you but looked terrified for some reason. The master wing of the mansion was at the farthest end which Gojo deemed to be the safest place. The sun had begun to set and the atmosphere was getting colder and you just wanted a hot bath and sleep.

You didn't want to fight him anymore when he pulled you closer to him. Maybe because a part of you wanted it or maybe because you were too tired to argue. The room was on the top most floor of the mansion and you were surprised to see an elevator leading up to it. You walked out the elevator into a living room with a couch and a small dining table. You walked through the room into the bedroom and when you entered the bedroom you were surprised by the whiteness of it. The most colorful thing in the room was ironically Mr.Carrot you walked in with Keisuke in your arms and You wondered how many nights did Gojo spend here thinking about you you? You turned towards the bed and saw the photo frame of your photos. Your eyes welled up. You wondered how many times he looked at it and how many times did it flip it down? There was a book on the nightstand, was it the same…

"Yeah…I kept it because..just in case". Gojo spoke, standing behind you.

You looked at him and then averted your gaze. "Okay". You said and made Keisuke lie on the bed. You had to bathe him..

You felt guilty. Like you had stolen something from him. Like you owed him glimpses of things you stole and yet you were being selfish. You got on your knees and started undressing Keisuke. "Do you want to help?". You asked without looking at Gojo but he was next to you, kneeling on the ground in a second.

"He's so soft". Gojo said.

"He's just a baby".

"He is the most adorable baby in the world!!". Gojo spoke and kissed Keisuke's nose.

You looked at him, his face red with baby fever. You smiled to yourself and let him do the job.

Yuri stood at the door and watched you watch him. It was unfair how easily you got access to things that were prohibited for her. Jerry walked past her with a tray, she watched and scoffed. You didn't even have to ask for anything.

"Ms.Y/n". Jerry called out.

You turned around and stood up. You took the glass of water. "Thank you Jerry".

Gojo stood up and took the second glass. "By the way Jerry". Gojo said before he took a huge sip. "She is Mrs.Gojo now". He winked at Jerry, making him chuckle.

"My bad, Mrs.Gojo".

You rolled your eyes. "Please just call me y/n, Jerry".

Gojo smiled sadly.

"Well then tell me y/n, what would you like for dinner?". Jerry chirped.

"Really anything is fine. I don't want to trouble you too much".

"Oh no trouble at all ma'am".

Gojo put his glass back on the tray. "Something light should be fine. Oh and send it to the room, we'll have dinner here".

Yuri watched the whole interaction from the shadows, Mrs.Gojo? A tear rolled down her cheek. She watched how Gojo's hand stayed on your back, how he looked at you when you talked to Jerry. Even Jerry seemed genuinely happy to see you! Why?! Why?! Why?! As Jerry walked past her again she took a deep breath and stepped inside with a smile on her face. "Satoru, I'm sorry to interrupt you".

Both you and Gojo turned towards her. You exchanged looks. Gojo sighed as he looked at Yuri. He didn't want to waste a second being with you. What could she need now?

"Yes, Yuri?". He asked tiredly.

Yuri's face dropped. Did he just sigh at her? But her mask was back on in a second. "I just wanted to remind you of your schedule tom-".

"Cancel everything". Gojo said without a second thought.

"But we have-".

"Yuri". Gojo interrupted her again. "I said cancel everything".

"If you have work then you should go". You spoke sweetly as you looked up at him. "We will be fine".

"And leave you here all alone?" Gojo smiled. "Absolutely not".

"I can survive a few hours without you". You gave Gojo a soft smile.

Gojo chuckled, "But I can't".

You shook your head and walked back to the bed.

"You may leave now". He said to her but his eyes were set on you.

Yuri smiled and walked back. She could hear the baby giggle. As soon as she was in the elevator alone, her smile turned to glare. A dangerous glare.

You knelt on the bathroom floor as you gave Keisuke a sponge bath. Gojo sat opposite to you, holding Keisuke in his arms.

"I can't get over how small he js". Gojo said, he looked at the tiny feet and tiny hands. Gojo's palm could easily cover his whole torso.

"He is only two months old but he is growing fast". You said calmly.

Keisuke wrapped his hand around Gojo's finger and babelled as you wiped his torso. Gojo smiled and shook his hand gently.

"Turn him around". You said and Gojo obeyed. He held Keisuke upright and you scooted closer to wipe him.

"Where are we?". You asked, looking at Gojo.

"What do you mean?". Gojo frowned.

"I…I mean the address. I need to call a cab tomorrow morning".

"Where are you going?". Gojo asked, scanning your face.

"I need to go to City to get some things for him". You asked and soaked the sponge in the warm water.

"We'll go together". Gojo said. He couldn't believe you were still trying to keep him away.

"It's not that". You read his face. "I don't want to take him out just yet. The weather is getting colder and it's already a new environment for him. He might get sick". You explained as you say back on your heels.

Gojo's face relaxed. "Don't worry. He'll be safe here with Jerry".

"I have never left him alone..".

Gojo smiled and held your hand. "Don't worry y/n, it'll be just for a few hours and you know we can trust Jerry".

You looked down at where his hand rested on yours. It felt nice. Like you finally had someone on your side.

Gojo looked down at your hands. He could actually feel your skin against his. It was another reminder that you were really here. He knew he had a long way to go before he could earn your trust. But for now even your hesitant touches were more than enough for him.

"Okay". You replied with a small smile."we'll go together then".

Gojo had insisted that you take a shower first. He would have preferred to take it with you but he didn't want to push his luck. You were thankful that Gojo was giving you space to adjust. You took a deep breath and let the warm water cascade down your back. You could hear Gojo talking to Keisuke outside and Keisuke replying in spit bubbles. It was funny how alike those two were. Clingy. Talkative. Demanding. Absolute menace. You knew he was going to be like Gojo when all you craved during pregnancy was mochi sandwich. What a concoction that was. But you were sure it was something Gojo…Satoru would love. Maybe you'll make it for him someday.

The thought of filing for a divorce still weighed heavily on your mind and heart. A part of you wanted to give this a chance but another part of you couldn't get Hiro's words out of your mind. You wondered what he would say if he saw you here with him. Would he be happy that you have a family or would he curse you for settling down with his killer? Hiro saved your life by giving you a chance to escape but he was also the reason you were there in the first place. Gojo saved your life too when he took you away from Utahime and Naoya but Gojo also killed Hiro. You were lied to but you also kept Gojo's son away from him. Gojo missed out on the birth of Keisuke and you knew that if you left Gojo then one day Keisuke would ask who his father was. Even if you stay with Gojo you won't have an explanation for why his father wasn't there at his birth. You had unknowingly hurt your son too. No one was innocent, the only question was did everyone pay for their crimes?

Gojo was absolutely in love with Keisuke. His little giggles. His tiny arms and feet. His toothless smile. His doe eyes. His tiny button nose. His amusement at everything. But above all he loved that Keisuke was a part of you. You and Him created him. He was proof that your love still existed..it bloomed even when he was going through his darkest days. Gojo stroked his puffy cheeks. He was not going to give up. No. He was going to fight for you and him. He was going to win.

"Can you tell your mom that I love her and I missed her? She is so stubborn, isn't she?" Gojo scrunched his nose." I hope you didn't trouble her too much. You are going to grow up to be a handsome boy. But remember that you mom is my girl". Gojo winked and kissed Keisuke's cheeks.

"You can go and shower now". You said as you walked to the bed. Gojo gave Keisuke a parting kiss and got off the floor.

You were dressed in another one of your dresses. It wasn't the most ideal thing to sleep in but your options were limited. You made a mental note of shopping for some more clothes tomorrow.

"I..have your clothes here". Gojo said and pointed towards the wardrobe. He thanked the past for thinking ahead. Being delusional paid off.

"My clothes?". You asked. Gojo walked towards the wardrobe and you followed him. Your eyes widened when he flicked on the light switch. The walk in was filled with more clothes that you've ever had. You walked between the rows of clothes.

"I..wanted to be ready for whenever I'd see you". Gojo tried to explain.

"Didn't you think that I was dead?". You turned your head back and looked at him.

"I was.. hopeful".

You smiled and walked to the glass top counter. The jewelry inside would put any collector to shame. But your eyes landed on a familiar ring in the center.

"Where did you find this?". You asked, eyes still set on the ring.

"I found it that night," Gojo said as he walked towards you."After the explosion. I was told that Naoya killed you and before I could search the place it exploded and this was all I could find". He stood behind you with his hand resting on your back.

"Who told you that Naoya killed me?". .You frowned.

"Joichiro did". Gojo spoke sternly.

You let out a sigh and turned around to find yourself in the arms of your alleged husband. Your breath hitched for a second. You couldn't move back and he was staring innocently at you as if he was unaware of your rapid beating of your heart.

"Do you ..do you want me to put it on you?". Gojo asked. He was serious. He looked down at you, your cheeks had turned pink and he wondered if that was because of the hot shower you took or because you were mad at him.

Did you want to wear it? You didn't know. Maybe…yes. But no.

Gojo sensed your confusion and smiled in return. "You don't have to answer now". He stepped back and walked away. You watched in shock, was he really that unaware? You shook your head and picked out a checkered button down shirt and matching shorts to change into.

When you walked out of the closet you saw Yuri or was it Yumi? Standing near the bed. For some reason you didn't like her. Maybe it was the way she looked at Gojo that irked you. You didn't think you were jealous. Why would you be jealous over him? It didn't make sense right.

"Do you need anything?". You asked as you walked over to her.

"Just wanted to drop these files off for Satoru". She smiled at you.

It wasn't a friendly smile. It was a smile that said that she was close enough to call him by his first name.

"You can give them to me. I'll give it to him". You said, not returning the smile.

Yuri smiled again. "I'll wait for him. He doesn't take more than 20 minutes to shower anyway".

You took a deep breath. "He takes exactly 25 minutes to shower. Then another 7 to get ready. I'd rather you keep the files on the table than stand in front of me for another 32 minutes". You pointed at the small table near the door.

Yuri gritted her teeth. "Do you think you're special?". Her smile had faded.

"Why don't you ask Satoru what I am?". You smiled.

Yuri looked you up. "Do you even know how much the clothes on your body cost? The one that you put on so casually? You think all of this is something you are entitled to and you can look down on me only because you have a child with him?You're nothing but a charity case for him". Yuri tilted her head and shrugged.

Few years ago you would have been offended by the comment but you had been through enough to know what this was. "Looking at the efforts he had made so far, I'd say he is extremely charitable".

Yuri bit her bottom lip. You were definitely something. "Just know that if he hadn't run into you today, he would have been mine".

You gulped. You were angry, not jealous. You convinced yourself. "If he couldn't be yours when I was dead then what makes you think he could be yours now?". You gave her a pressed smile.

Yuri scoffed and opened her mouth to say something but couldn't. She walked away, throwing the file on the table. You stood there, seething. Even if you were going to leave Gojo, there was no way you were going to let her walk all over you.

Jerry brought in dinner soon after and by that time Keisuke had been fed and asleep. Gojo sat opposite to you on the small coffee table near the balcony. He watched you poke the bowl of half eaten rice.

"Is everything okay?". He asked.

You snapped out of your thoughts and smiled at him. "Yeah. Just tired".

Gojo watched you like a hawk. "No. It's something else".

"All of this. It happened so soon. I just want to give him a home and I can't even seem to do that".

Gojo sighed. It was his fault and you were blaming yourself. "It's not your fault. You have done a great job bringing him up on your own. You don't have to do it all alone anymore. Let me help you when I can".

You smiled and nodded your head.

Gojo smiled and kept a piece of spinach on top of your rice. "for now eat this. I read that the new mothers have iron deficiency and usually it goes unchecked until it's too late. Let's go for a check up tomorrow".

You watched him with your mouth agape. "Where did you read this?".

Gojo's cheeks turned pink. "On a blog called daddy and me".

"I don't want to go for a check up". You replied and shoved the food in your mouth.

Gojo hummed. "Why not?".

You chewed your food and kept your eyes fixed on the table.

"Y/n, why don't you want to go for a check up?". Gojo pressed on. He could read you like an open book.

You swallowed painfully and looked at him. You knew that sooner or later you will have to tell him. Will he get angry? Will he get mad at you?

"I don't want to"

"Why not?". Gojo asked calmly.

You sighed in frustration. "Because I don't want to! Isn't that enough?". You asked angrily.

"No it's not!". Gojo replied. "God y/n! You could keep your favorite color from me ',if you want to, but this.." Gojo's voice dropped. "...this seems serious and as your husband and the father of our child I have the right to know ".

You sighed. "Fine but try not to make a big deal out of it, okay?".

Gojo stared at you blankly. Since when did you get so rude? "Fine". He replied.

"Keisuke was born perfectly fine. But after delivering him". You looked down at your hands in your lap. "I didn't stop bleeding for quite some time. I had lost too much blood and doctors weren't sure if I'd even make it. But fortunately, they were able to control the bleeding but I was unconscious for a day".

There was a heavy silence between the two of you. Gojo was shaking but he remained calm on the surface. You had gone through so much and yet you didn't reach out to him? Did you hate him that much? Was he that bad of a person?

"Because of that I have postpartum anemia. Usually it improves in two months but it hasn't in my case". You kept your eyes fixed in your lap.

Gojo let out a heavy breath and leaned back in the chair. How was he ever going to fix the mess he made? He was angry. He was hurt. But he knew he deserved it.

"But I assure you that Keisuke is fine and you can see his reports". You tried to explain.

"It's not just about Keisuke,y/n. You are just as important to me as he is. I..I don't know what to say… Fine. We'll still go to a doctor and get a consultation. For my sake, please?". He didn't want to force you anymore than he already had. He could only please and pray that you listen to him.

"Fine". You replied with a smile. Sometimes you have to let go of control.

Since there was no crib yet, Keisuke slept in between you and Gojo on the bed. He was deep in his sleep surrounded by his toys. Both you and Gojo looked at him sleeping with his mouth open slightly. You bent down and kissed his head good night and so did Gojo. As you closed your eyes and tried to get a much needed sleep, Gojo couldn't bring himself to sleep. A part of him was scared that if he closed his eyes then all of this would vanish. He looked at his son and then at you. Gojo knew that you were strong and capable and he was going to give you the freedom to decide what you wanted to do but a part of him, the part that lurked in the shadows, the part that made him the infamous ice Prince, that part reminded him that you were too precious to be out in the world alone. You were too kind. Too delicate. Too good to be out in this dark dark world. There were some really bad people out there and as your husband, as your lover, as the father of your child, he was going to protect you, shield you from everything. If you want to fight then he will let you fight. If you wanted to hurt him then he would let you hurt him. But he was not going to let you go. In this world you were his salvation. You were his sun and the moon. You were his'.

-X-

You woke up the next day to see Keisuke cooing next to you. "Good morning baby". You spoke in your baby voice You smiled and kissed him. Keisuke giggled. "Did you sleep well? Of course you did! You didn't wake up mama once. My good boy". You peppered his face with kisses.

You frowned when you saw a beautiful bouquet of white dahlias. You smiled and propped up on one elbow and picked up the bouquet. It was beautiful. There was a note attached to it,

Good morning love!

Come down for breakfast!

You rolled your eyes at the pet name. Stubborn and annoying and too sweet. You fed and changed Keisuke and freshened up and changed into one of your own dresses. The only problem, you didn't know where the kitchen was. You got out of the bedroom and made your way to the elevator. A note was stuck on the door.

"You don't know where the kitchen is? Go down the elevator and turn left". With the note was another flower, white Chrysanthemum.

Is this what he spent the whole morning on? "Look at what your dad is up to?". You kept the note and the flower in your dress pockets and went down the elevator. When you got out you took a left turn and a help handed you another note.

You rolled your eyes and chuckled. "He could have just asked you to take me there". You joke but the girl kept her head bowed down.

You frowned and adjusted Keisuke in your arm. "Hey..Look at me. Are you okay?". You said.

The girl looked up hesitantly. The moment your eyes met she looked down again. Did Gojo ask her to do this? "Look, I don't care what anyone else has told you but when you talk to me or help me, you look at me". You said.

"Yes ma'am". She replied and looked up. She looked slightly younger than you.

"Why didn't you look before?". You asked.

"I was told not to".

"By who?". You demanded.

"Ms.Yuri". She replied.

You bit your lip and took a deep breath. "What's your name?".

"Nia…ma'am".

"Nia". You spoke softly. The girl looked terrified and you didn't want to scare her more. "you don't answer to Yuri. Okay? If she does or says anything to you, you tell me okay?".

Nia smiled and nodded her head. "Yes ma'am". She handed you the note and another chrysanthemum.

You looked at the note,

I can't see you now but I'm sure you look beautiful. Hurry up now. I'm waiting for you

"Looks like you were supposed to take me there".

Nia nodded her head and led you.

You walked in an open kitchen facing the backyard and a dining table. The air was warm and smelled of freshly baked cookies.

"Good morning!". Gojo yelled as soon as he saw you walk in. He walked over and wrapped you and Keisuke in his arms. This was the first time you were this close to him. Even Gojo was taken aback by his actions but he went with it. He was holding his whole world in his arms and he was not going to apologize for it. He could feel you stiffen and then relax and smiled when you did not push him back.

He felt warm. His white button down shirt smelled of cookies and you felt safe. Even Keisuke seemed to have relaxed in your arms. You wanted to hold him but had Keisuke in your arms so you just let him hold you instead. You liked this feelin.

Gojo kissed Keisuke and stepped back. “Look what I have here”. Gojo spoke excitedly and brought a baby rocker from under the table. “It’s perfect for 1-3 months old”. Gojo continued.

You looked at him, he looked happy, excited. You returned his smile and bent down to put Keisuke in. You were thankful for this as he was getting heavier and your arms hurt a little.

“When did you wake up?”. You asked Gojo.

Gojo looked at Keisuke and both of them exchanged a look of secrecy. Gojo didn’t sleep for more than three hours last night. Keisuke woke up every two hours and Gojo walked around the room holding him, trying to put him to sleep. At one point, both of them watched youtube videos on how to put babies to sleep. It worked but only for two hours. Gojo understood that it was because of the new environment but he didn’t want to wake you up. You had traveled a lot and needed the rest.

“I woke up a few hours ago”. Gojo replied casually.

“You woke up at six?”. Your eyes widened.

No. He woke up at 5 because he wanted to go to the florist and hand pick the best flowers for you. “Yeah. around that time”. Gojo chuckled. “Now sit down and let me serve you your breakfast”.

You rolled your eyes and took your seat at the table. Gojo brought a huge tray of the most elaborate breakfast you had ever seen. Green smoothies, warm oats and honey, fruits cut in heart shape, blueberry pancakes, waffles and whipped cream.

“I can’t eat all this”. You chuckled.

Gojo smiled. Your smile had all the tiredness leaving his body. “It’s fine. Have as much as you can just don't forget the smoothie. I read that this spinach smoothie is great for mothers with iron deficiency”.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed. "You and your daddy and me blog".

You smiled and started the breakfast with Gojo. The morning sun filtered through the large windows and as you discussed the shopping list with Gojo,With Kisuke’s toy tune playing in the background, you realized that this was what you wanted when you were a child. A loving home. Breakfast table conversation about the day ahead, flowers and fruits on the table, someone to look at you how Gojo was looking at you right now. It was peaceful. It was your own little world. Somewhere in the background Keisuke giggled, making both you and Gojo smile and shake your head. You watched as Gojo bent down and played with him. You didn’t know whether he loved you or not, you didn’t know if his words could be trusted when it came to you, but you knew that he loved your son. He would never let anything happen to Keisuke. So was it fair for you to take all of this away from him? You couldn’t live without Keisuke, Gojo couldn’t live without Keisuke, but could both of you live together? You had a month to decide and Gojo had a month to prove himself.

@hiqhkey @chemtrails-club @simplyrosesxr @foggyperfectiondragon @sofi786 @vesta-ro @kimvmarvel @mykyoon @shintin @attackonsimpp @pyschopotatomeme @lilith412426 @shuxjodie @sagejin @cloudsinthecosmos @hecateria @froggylust @lightblueexorcist @watyousayin @creolequeen11210 @s13nnnna @shartnart1 @the-crane-wives @musababy @loquia @ackerstain @allofffmypeaches @regalillegal @erintaro @commandertorinshepard @gojo-sunglasses @tspice283 @iam-mia9 @screwyou3 @denypipa @smolkazumi @winter-bearv @mc-reborn @pangolynnn @sindela @daintyazra @purpleguk @iam-mia9 @sammyiguess

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 5 months

Text

pt III doctor who but I've still never watched it

Hello yes Good Omens mascot here, I am making a DW summary because I'm trying unsuccessfully to distract myself from doubling over in pain after the Good Omens season 2 ending. Here you go:

First off, let me just say a very hearty thank you to the entire DW fandom for educating me during part I and part II as well as my Pinterest research. You have successfully managed to teach me nothing about Doctor Who, but every single last detail of David Tennant's life and family. Please seek help.

Timey wimey.

*checks notes* So David Tennant wrote fanfiction of DW in school and got into trouble, and he married the daughter of a previous Doctor from the classic DW whom he met on set, and he saw an episode of DW as a three year old and it inspired him to become a doctor. There's a joke that David didn't want to return as the 14th doctor but did it just to avoid Michael Sheen getting the role because as we all know the BBC has 12 actors and half are David and Michael who are incidentally glued together. David Tennant adopted his wife's kid and so now they have a total of five kids together. This morning for breakfast David ate a sandwich with one less slice of cheese which is a clue for GO season 3-

The police are rhinos, kind of like Zootopia. They kill people.

The TARDIS is the Doctor's best friend. She came up with a name and didn't tell the Doctor. So they call her Sexy.

Timey wimey.

Michael Sheen is a sentient planet.

Someone named Harry is present in the classic DW. At one point someone else says 'something something Harry' idk and Harry says 'Me?' and the other says 'there's only two of us here and your name is Harry'.

There is a slutty head and it was supposed to be dead but it procrastinated that to see David Tennant.

Timey wimey.

There is a sonic screwdriver, and it is used for very many things, but for a good ten minutes trying to research it I thought it was Sonic the Hedgehog merch. Incidentally, I don't know what that is, either.

The slutty head is pregnant a lot. It sits in a jar.

There is a minefield and then someone is standing on a landmine instead of following the other person. One of them is the Doctor.

The TARDIS expands because it is tired of holding its tummy in.

It's bigger on the inside.

Timey wimey.

The Doctor periodically kidnaps people to accompany them.

Everything is queer.

Timey wimey.

Time Lords are a thing. I don't know if the Doctor is a Time Lord.

Wilf meets a David Doctor and everyone cries.

There are Baby Yoda goblins and an alien named Meep and actually a lot of aliens are there.

There is a literal arsehole with the ability of speech.

Timey wimey.

88 notes · View notes

fallinforerling · 1 year

Text

LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. chapter 3 - jb

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The “sleepover” as you called it earlier, turned into a mess of insults directed at Jude, lots of crying and hushing, Nikki yelling that she should have kicked his ass when she had the opportunity, and, finally, you switching between laughing and crying.

It was so surreal and stupid; the whole situation was just bizarre. Against your own judgment, you begged Nikki for more details about what she saw at the club as soon as she arrived. Turns out she spotted Jude right away and thought nothing when she didn't saw you with him; maybe you were in the bathroom. But as soon as she saw him flirting with some girl for a couple of minutes, she knew you weren't anywhere around and he was definitely planning on cheating. She just waited a bit more until he did something, so you could have proof.

Not like it mattered anymore. You two weren't together and today confirmed what you feared the most: he was over you from day one. What a joke.

“Our relationship was absolute bullshit to him, wasn't it?” You said after your cries calmed down, feeling something similar to anger starting to build up inside you. “That's why I never got to meet half of his friends. Why bothering? Almost a year! Did I waste ten months of my life on a douchebag?”

You didn't got a response. Nikki and Mia were just listening, letting you get off your chest everything you were keeping for yourself the past week. You were angry, so so angry at him... But you still thought about him with such love. It was so stupid from you to do so.

“I want to hate him...” You whispered after a while, sighing when some tears fell from your eyelashes. “I think I'll hate him eventually, right?”

“Or even better: you'll stop caring about him,” Mia replied, rubbing your shoulder softly. “That's the best thing that will happen to you. Stop caring about him or what he does. I know it's going to be kinda difficult due to him being a famous person, but… Meh, if Selena Gómez did it, I'm sure you're able to do so.”

The three of you laughed at the last part.

“If I have you two by my side, I'm sure I can do it.” You grabbed your phone from the carpet, taking a deep breath. “I'll delete his number and block his Instagram. I don't want to drunk text him someday and embarrass myself beyond repair.”

“That's the mentality, babes. You do that and I'll prepare us something to drink.” Nikki cheared, walking towards the kitchen. Her shiny black dress kept sending sparks of light all over the room everytime she moved.

“Is she still drunk?” You asked, rubbing your eyes. You were tired of being sad.

“Oh, yeah. She is totally wasted.” Mia stood up, grabbing your hand with a smile. “Let's get wasted too or this will be too boring for her.”

You laughed a bit, feeling thankful for your friends and their support.

“Good idea.”

What happened the rest of the night? Neither of you remembered. But you were fine with it because at least you got to forget all about Jude for once.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Something was making a lot of noise, and your head wasn't appreciating any of it.

“What the fuck is that?!” Nikki shouted right above your left ear, making you cringe away from her voice. “Tell it to stop. My fucking head is killing me.”

“Only yours?” Mia whispered from your right, sounding like a dead person. “I think it's your doorbell, honey.”

“Is it?” You asked, confused and, you suspected, still a bit drunk. The three of you stayed quiet until the deathly sound started again, confirming that it was your doorbell. “Oh yeah, it is my doorbell.”

“Go ahead, then. I'll love life a bit more if my ears can stop bleading from that bloody sound.” Mia's voice was so raspy it scared you.

“Yes, sir.” Better to obey than die from her hangover mood.

You shuffled around the bed until you found a clear space where you could get off of it. As you rise to your feet, it was clear you were still drunk. Fucking hell. Step by step, you made it to the door, where whoever it was behind it hadn't stopped ringing. It better be good.

“Yes?” You said between grinning teeth, facing a middle age guy with the nastiest face on earth. Of course. “How can I help you?”

“I have a package for you, miss.” He said after a few seconds, taking a look at you that, it seemed, wasn't pleasing, because his face kept a horrible expression the whole time. “Sign right there and I'll be out of your hallway as fast as I can.”

Huh. At least he was sincere.

“Sure…” In the middle of sighing, you realized you haven't ordered anything in a long time. “Do you know where this come from?”

“Miss, I don't get paid enough. Good morning.” Those were his last words before giving you a medium package and take off down the hallway.

“Asshole...” You whispered. As you closed the door, you studied the package. It was so normal-looking. Soft, even.

You were curious, but the hangover was stronger than anything else. The fog of sleep was off your brain, letting you check the time without feeling dizzy. Eight in the fucking morning. God, that deliverer was indeed a freaking jerk.

Leaving the package behind, you ran to the kitchen, feeling the sudden need to drink as much water as possible. When you were at your third glass, Nikki's and Mia's steps were evident behind you.

“Having a good morning, ladies?” You asked after a moment, enjoying that you weren't the only one suffering and looking like a hot mess.

“Of course. Your doorbell wake us up and now I'm in a state between wanting to eat your whole fridge and vomit all over this carpet.” Mia's words were flat-toned, but neither Nikki nor you could help but laugh. “Yeah, yeah, laugh.”

While she proceeded to scan the kitchen, Nikki eyed the package with curiosity. Then she looked at you, silently asking what was that.

“I don't have the slightest idea. The asshole that delivered it didn't tell me who sent that. I guess we'll have to open it.” You paused for a moment, worrying about one possibility. “I hope that's not my stuff from Judeʼs place.”

“Iugh.” Was all that came from both of your friends. You gave them half a smile before reaching for it again, grabbing scissors from one of the drawers.

“Let's find out.” With patience, you opened it with a clean cut, grabbing something similar to clothing from inside of it. “Oh my god...”

“Ah! Is this hell on Earth? Why is that devil boy chasing us around?” Nikki shouted.

Staring back at you, a blue jersey with “Bellingham” written in big white letters at the back greeted you. Good, not even 24 hours, and you were, once again, being reminded of your ex. Then it hit you. It wasn't Judeʼs jersey.

“Oh no...” You whispered, taking the shirt in both hands so you could see the number. 27. “It's not Judeʼs.”

“What do you mean by that? It says Bellingham.” Mia said, peaking inside the package to find a scarf and beanie. “What's this? Some sick joke?”

“No... It's... Oh God. It's Judeʼs little brother, Jobe. He doesn't know we broke up, he wants me to attend his match next month. I completely forgot that he even promised to send me a jersey with his number and some goods from the club.” Mia passed you the scarf, which read “BIRMINGHAM FC” in white. “How do I tell him? He got out of the way to send me all of this.”

“Poor kid,” Mia said, looking at the jersey with attentive eyes. “Wait… How old is this little brother?”

“Uh… Seventeen, why?” Nikki looked instantly disappointed by it. “Gross! That's illegal, Nikk!”

“I know! I thought he was like a year younger... You know, revenge fuck and all that.”

“I'll ignore you even suggested that shit.” You said with a laugh, gathering your new goods. “Hell, I think I'll have to break the news myself. Seems like Mr. Dickhead isn't brave enough to tell his brother.”

“Doesn't matter, maybe you can still attend and make him super uncomfortable.” Mia said, laughing at her own idea. “I bet he'll be pissed off by that.”

You didn't respond, but that was a good suggestion... If you were the revenge type of gal, which you weren't... Right?

“I'll text him.” You said instead, heading to the room so you could get your phone.

“Check the photos!” Nikki said before going into the bathroom. “And hand me something to wear!”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You wished you could be a coward and just send a text to Jobe telling him the whole truth, but he was your friend and deserved better than that.

The morning (and hangover) went away faster than you expected, and since that little “Can we meet up today?” conversation the two of you had, Nikki and Mia were long gone. Now you were getting ready to do what you didn't want to. Face your problems.

You were meeting Jobe at a nice little park where few people went at this time of year, so the conversation was secured and private. For your own sake, at least.

When you were about to finish the very much needed makeup (yep, the dark circles were still there) your phone buzzed. You picked it, noticing various messages.

✉️ Nikki: Destroy that cunt.

✉️ Mia: Don't completely destroy him, that thing it's his brother at the end of the day.

✉️ Nikki: Meh, that's not a good reason

✉️ Will be taking it into consideration.

✉️ Jobe: Getting there in 20, okay?

✉️ Same!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The weather was amazing if you considered the fact of being in London and in autumn. The trees looked amazing and the park, as you prevented, was almost empty. You noticed a small group of girls by a nice tree, but they were too far away to bother.

Jobe's figure was so recognizable that it didn't take you long to find him by some benches. The last time you saw him, he was a lot smaller and not that broad. Teenagers.

“Hey!” You said when you were close enough.

He turned with a smile, keeping you on the spot for a second. Yeah, he still looked a lot like Jude. You smiled back, feeling like an asshole.

“God, I thought we were never going to see each other again.” He said dramatically, pulling you into a bear hug. “What's up? It's been months.”

“I know.” You smiled again, wanting to see anything but his face. “You're taller!” Pointing the obvious was better than going straight into the subject. At least while you guys were still greeting each other.

“Hell yes I am. 6'2. I'm officially taller than your hobbit of a boyfriend. Also, why didn't you come to last night's dinner? Jude told us you couldn't make it because you were sick but in my opinion… You look far from sick.”

You smiled along because you couldn't believe Jude made up some lie instead of telling his family the truth.

“About that...” You said, assuming that ripping the band-aid off was the best way of approach, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. “I need to tell you something... Can we sit?”

He seemed to read the sudden change of atmosphere because he agreed.

“Sure, what's up? You seem worried.”

You both sat on the nearest bench, giving you the time to breathe deeply and wander your eyes around the park before looking at Jobe again. The space was almost abandoned, except for the small group of girls. They were all giggling and pushing each other while holding their phones. You wishes you were that careless again.

“Your brother and I broke up.” You said suddenly, feeling great once the words came out of your mouth. “Well, he broke up with me.” You laughed a bit, not knowing why.

“He did what?!” You didn't expect Jobe's sudden scream, making you jump on the spot.

“God! Jobe, don't scream like that!” You pushed him without actual force.

“Maybe I heard you wrong… Jude did what?” You stayed silent, looking at his angry expression with a half smile. “That cunt… Why did he lie to us, then? When did this happen?”

“A week ago when I was visiting him.” You shrugged, feeling a bit dumb for venting to him. “We were just arriving home- I mean, his place, and just as I took a sit on the couch he said that we should break up. I got up immediately, then ask what did he say. He repeated it and proceeded to tell me his reasons. I kinda acted by impulse and got out of there within an hour. He offered to let me stay with him, pay for my hotel, or even pay back a ticket. It sounded like…” You paused again, not wanting the keep showing weakness toward the subject.

“Charity?” Jobe suggested.

“Yeah, like pity mixed with charity. So I rejected that and took a taxi to the airport… Well, that's what happened. So, I'm sorry for not telling you before. I thought he was the one for that job.” You held his arm lightly, smiling a bit. “Now that you know that… I don't think I'll be able to attend your match, honey.”

His face fell a bit, but recomposed instantly. His eyes were determined when he took the hand you put on his arm, holding it on his.

“You are coming.” He said, smiling when you looked at him with doubt. “I don't care that Jude broke up with you. You're my friend and I want you there. Also, I spend money on that package, I won't let it go to waste.”

“You're such an asshole!” You barked, laughing. “But okay, as you wish, my lord. But don't expect me to acknowledge him.”

“I wasn't expecting you to do so... Also, he doesn't deserve it either. You're coming, and if he feels uncomfortable, then he'll have to deal with it.” This time, he was the one to make a pause before laughing. “God, Mom is going to be so mad at him... You are her favorite daughter-in-law.”

“I'll miss her too.”

“You can still visit while he's at Dortmund. Mom and Dad will always greet with open arms.” He got up, giving you an smile. “Come on, let's get something to eat. I need to tell you a few things.”

“Oh! Is that about the girl you liked?”

“Shhhh! Don't say it out loud. God, you're lucky that you're still family.”

You laughed at his blushing cheeks, feeling grateful that at least you didn't lost your little brother.

Jobe was right. Life was more than Jude, even when he kept popping up on your mind and aspects of your life.

It was going to be okay. You could do this.

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