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mrsparrasblog · 23 hours

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You're losing me pt.2

pt. 1

TW: mention of rape, unprotected sex, drinking, blood, violence, angst

The liquor on his tongue didn’t even burn anymore; too much was already in his system, trying to wash down the events of this day. You were the love of his life, the woman he wanted to marry, even though he didn’t know how it would be legal for you to marry all of them. And now, he lost you. The worst part? He can't even remember how it happened. He felt so disgusted in himself in so many ways—disgusted for breaking your heart. God, your look, how you tried to keep your tears in check, broke him. And then his whole body felt disgusted; it felt like a layer of dirt he couldn’t wash away. He scrubbed and scrubbed, but it didn’t go away; the shame still lingered. It felt like someone had taken something from him, but it was his own fault. He must have said yes and bought those drinks. It was his own fault, he told himself over and over again. Normally, he would talk about this kind of stuff with you; you always knew what to say. But you hated him.

"‚‘nother on’," he said to the barkeeper. This was probably his sixth. Johnny knew how he could handle alcohol; he was never that pissed before to not remember a thing. And there she was, the medic, sitting down next to him.

"Hey, Johnny," she smiled brightly, like she didn’t have any worry in her life.

"I ken a dinnae whit yesterday happened bit tis ne'er aff tae happen again."

"Come on, you enjoyed it yesterday."

"I dinnae remember yesterday."

"What a shame."

He stood up, throwing some pounds on the table, wanting to leave, but she stopped him. "Come on, Johnny. I'll help you forget, make you feel at peace again."

"No."

"Then please, let me invite you for a drink as an apology," she smiled sweetly, pushing the drink towards me. Wait, how had she a drink prepared if she sat only for a minute next to me?

"No."

"Please, a drink won't kill you."

"I said no."

"Just one sip, Johnny, and I'll make you feel good how she never could."

"How come ye're sae persistent fur me tae dram this drink?"

"You're silly, Johnny. I'm just being nice," she looked panicked - weird.

While many people thought of him as someone who is just a silly guy who isn’t able to think properly, you told him all over again that he was so smart, smarter than all of them, if someone would just give him the chance to show. And right now, his brain implanted a sick thought on him. "Dinnae tell me ye put something in mah drink."

Her eyes widened. "Of course not," she mumbled.

"Don't lie to me," his hand immediately went to her throat , choking the truth out of her.

"Knockout drugs," she whispered. She was fighting for air as I let her go; the men in the pub already stood up trying to save the poor woman from getting abused by a man.

"You raped me." His shock hit deep; he always thought something like that wouldn’t happen to him. He was strong and able to protect himself. He was the guy who killed people, the youngest man in the SAS, the guy who beat up an officer because he touched a civi. But now, he was the victim.

"Have fun proving it. No one will believe that a tiny girl like me raped the big bad soldier," she laughed, and screamed for help. "Help, this man doesn’t take no for an answer," He was kicked out of the pub; his face was bloody from all the beating.

All he wanted was to reach you, ask your advice, be in the comfort of your arms, telling him all over again how he is a good man, how he is worth everything and not a dirty soldier. But you didn’t pick up; he came to the realization quickly; that no one would believe him.

**Soap:** Please tell me we used a condom.

**Medic:** ;)

Fuck.

————————————————————————————————-

4 am and you still couldn’t sleep; your head was full of thoughts. Why were you not good enough? Why did he do it? So, you made a thing your friends would kill you for. Calling John, you weren’t sure if he would pick up, but he did.

"What's wrong, love?" Source of habit, he thought.

"Why did you do this, John?" you sobbed.

"I didn't mean for it to happen; it was an accident."

"Then why didn't you say sorry?"

"Love."

"Don't fucking call me love. You cheated on me, and you didn't say sorry. You didn't run after me, you didn't apologize," your sobs broke his heart.

"I'm sorry; it was an accident."

"An accident is making a typo, not sticking your dick in a whore."

"I—"

"I hate you, John. I hate you so much," and you hung up. This wasn’t what you expected. Why doesn’t he feel guilty? Why are you not good enough? Why didn’t Simon say something? Why didn’t Kyle come here? Of course, you broke up, but why don’t they care?

If you only knew how Kyle was, blood-covered in the hospital, too many rookies in his way. How Simon was trying desperately to find Soap to see he didn't drink himself to death, and then he would come to you, he told him self all over again. And how the captain didn't leave his office, not even for food.

And how Soap went into John's office, trying to explain to him the truth, only to see a disarranged office, hands covered in blood after he tried to pick up the liquor he smashed at his wall. He never saw his captain so vulnerable, and if Soap didn’t know better, he would have sworn he saw tears.

"Captain, I—"

"You did already enough, MacTavish. Let me have at least one day to mourn over the loss of the love of my fucking life."

"Captain—"

"LEAVE," and he did, he crawled into his bed, knowing he lost everything in a day, the love of his life, his best friend Kyle, his captain, his pride, and safety, and not even Ghost was there.

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scoonsaliciousupdates · 12 hours

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5.3 Lily

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,

Word Count: 500

Previously On...: Bucky got a call from Lily, wanting to know where he was. He lied to her, of course. That definitely won't come back to bite him in the ass.

A/N: Sorry this is so late going up! Had a last-minute Mother's Day dinner with the family, and then some quality time with @cazellen, and when you add on an hour+ drive each way, it ended up eating my entire evening. But! I wouldn't leave you hanging, so here is today's update, just... six hours late :(

Also, PLEASE NOTE: There is one more section of Chapter 5 to go up tomorrow, and then I will be taking a one-week break from posting so I can focus on writing. So, Chapter 6 will start on Sunday, May 19th. I probably will not be as active on here as I normally am, so if you send me a message and I don't respond right away, it's because I'm busy making more content for you!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Lily clutched her phone to her chest, shocked. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. He had lied to her. She couldn’t believe it. Her best friend had lied to her about what he was doing and who he was with.

She hadn’t planned on coming to the Compound that night– she’d realized she’d forgotten some files in her office that she needed to look over before she went back to work on Monday, and had just stopped in to pick them up. She figured, since she was there, she might as well go see what Bucky and Sam were up to. She didn’t want to crash their boys’ night, per se, but if they happened to invite her to join them? Well, how could she refuse such an invitation?

That’s why it came as such a shock when she rounded the corner to the rec room and saw Sam and Steve, in front of the large television, watching football together, and Bucky nowhere in sight. She hung back for a few moments, giving him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he’d been in the bathroom, or in the kitchen grabbing snacks. But when fifteen minutes went by, then thirty, and Bucky still hadn’t shown himself, she began to worry.

She was about to barge into the room and demand answers from Sam and Steve, when she heard them talking during a commercial break.

“So, how do you think the date’s going?” Steve asked Sam.

“Knowing Tin Man, I’d usually say ‘terribly,’” Sam said with a laugh, “but this girl seems to actually like him, so who the hell knows? I guess it depends on what time he comes home tonight… or tomorrow morning, doesn’t it?”

Lily brought a hand to her mouth to stifle her gasp as she backed away from the entrance to the rec room.

No. No, no, no, no, no, she thought. He wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t just start seeing someone without telling her, warning her, would he?

So, she’d called him.

“I promised Sam we’d do guys’ night,” he’d told her at brunch, the lie coming so smoothly off his lips. But she’d heard a woman’s voice on the line with him.

Lies.

And then, he’d snapped “I already told you what I was doing… You don’t have to keep checking up on me.” He’d never used that exasperated tone with her before. Never. And to just hang up on her, without even a proper goodbye?

She felt hurt. She felt betrayed. In their years of friendship, Bucky had never lied to her before, had he? And why? Why now? Who was this girl, and what was so fucking special about her that Bucky felt the need to lie to his best friend about her?

Lily felt like she was going to be sick.

She needed to find out who this mystery woman was, immediately. And she needed to do everything in her power to make sure Bucky never saw her again.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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sibylsleaves · 11 hours

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What happens after buck and eddie get together.

hello friend IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED

There are literally SOOOOOO many fun storylines that could come out of this but like, first of all, how do you even start a relationship that you're basically already in the middle of??? This is NOTHING like starting a relationship with someone new, or even someone you're casually friends with (as you could argue Buck and Taylor were) this is...starting a relationship when you already know that in the event of your death this is the person you want to raise your child. This is starting a relationship knowing this person has already seen you at the lowest of your lows, that this person knows EVERY intimate, embarrassing, silly detail about you. like yeah that's beautiful but I also think it would be surprisingly difficult to navigate.

Like. Especially if you're Buck and Eddie who both, in different ways, have such an idealized view of romance (I would actually argue Eddie more so than Buck in many ways). And yeah, i think they've done a lot of work to deconstruct that BEFORE they even get together, but it's still like...a complete rewiring of the way you operate in a romantic relationship and that's not going to happen overnight. They're going to stumble over little things that feel awkward or unnatural because maybe they're still trying to fit this into a more familiar version of romance before they realize they don't HAVE to do that. Do they just continue on the way they've been but now they kiss and have sex? Do they start going on dates? Do they start calling each other pet names? How much time is it acceptable to spend with a brand new romantic partner who is also the man named in your will to raise your child if you die AND ALSO your coworker who you see for 24 hours at a time. Do they have different ideas about the answers to these questions and how do they navigate THAT?

And speaking of being coworkers, is there gonna be conflict with the 118 because it's technically against policy for them to date and be on the same shift? Maybe one of them transfers to a different shift but oh no now they never see each other! Cue a storyline where they prove how good of a team they are and that the fire chief (or whoever) shouldn't force bobby to separate them. And also, their lives are SO intertwined that whenever a conflict arises it's like. Who am I supposed to get an outside perspective from? YOU are the person I always go to with my relationship problems. And literally everyone else I know is ALSO your friend. So potentially we'd get some opening up of more relationships on the show, particularly for Eddie who almost ALWAYS goes to either Buck or, less frequently, Bobby with relationship issues. (Buck still has Maddie) But like. Bobby is BASICALLY Buck's dad so???? and even Carla, who seems to be at this point lowkey written out of the show, knew Buck first!!!! Eddie either has to talk to his parents (difficult because they've never approved of his relationships in the past and I think it's still probably touchy subject for them), Pepa (i actually love this option but also she's a different generation and sometimes you really DO need the opinion of someone who intimately understands modern relationships. Or maybe we get Eddie rekindling his friendship with Linda, or getting closer with Karen (this is after they get trapped in a well together thanks ryan guzman).

And in general (stealing this from @try-set-me-on-fire's recent post about them fighting) HOW do they navigate conflict in their relationship because we really DONT see them have much conflict in their friendship, so what happens when a relatively small issue in their relationship blows up into something bigger just because they literally DONT KNOW how to argue with each other.

And I haven't even touched the Christopher of it all yet. I DO think there's juicy conflict to mine there, because as many people have said I could see there being real fear for him about what happens when/if this relationship implodes the way ALL Eddie's relationships have imploded. I think it could go one of many ways, but what's interesting for me here is Chris is NOT ten years old anymore. He's a teenager, and his emotions are way more complex than just "ANGRY AT DAD." I could see him saying he's fine with it but then acting out in other ways that make Buck and Eddie realize he's NOT actually fine with it (kind of mirroring how we saw in 7x01 Chris acting out by stringing girls along being a symptom of Not Being Fine about Shannon's abandonment). And how Buck and Eddie might have to actually WORK to even get to a place to have an honest conversation about what his fears are.

Anyway I just think there's so much new exciting storytelling ground for them once they get together this is just the tip of the iceberg

#this is all about conflict because storylines need conflict hope that helps <3 #sibyl answers #eddiegettingshot #buddie established relationship spec

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sleepyistinky · 2 days

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Many people don't realize this but Bruce never neglected Tim. I love that okay Tim he was a frustrated Robin who went through shit dealing with Batman I might be getting that wrong too though because I don't have access to the comics but I've been reading what I can BUT Tim was never neglected as a Robin. I see how many people heavily mischaracterize the Batfam members, from making Bruce a shitty and abusive dad even though he just isn't that good at communicating, to making Dick a pushover and making his ass his whole personality, and uwu-ifying Tim and making Jason the 'angry' robin even though that mf was a boy scout as a Robin. HOWEVER.

Tim Drake who just fucking gets so sick of everyone's shit. Batfam supporter to the day I die I do not hate any of them however I am not an apologist. I can recognize when a character is wrong because even though they're fictional they're still human. Tim sick of Batman just taking his help for granted. Alfred who sees what's going on despite being a solid rock in the past and not doing anything about it. Jason seemingly hating Tim simply because he is his successor and Damian hating Tim because he is his successor. Dick who is at best lukewarm with him. I'm not going to mention Steph, Cass, Duke, or even Helena because as far as I know they haven't really done enough I'm still pretty new to DCU and was introduced through spider-man crossovers but from what I've seen in some tim-centric fics he has it ROUGH. Tim who just is so fucking tired that he just says fuck it Bruce doesn't need me anymore I'll do my own shit elsewhere and see if I ever do shit for you guys again and watching the Batfam fall apart with Tim because HE was the one who pulled Bruce's head out of his ass when Jason died. HE was the one who basically had to take care of this grown-ass man so that he didn't fucking keel over when he was THIRTEEN. He was the one who had to stop Bruce from using such excessive force against petty criminals. HE was the one who sucked it up when Jason came for his ass in the Titan's Tower because hey he'd be pretty upset if he was forcibly brought back to life to find someone else had taken his spot. and this is his favorite Robin we're talking about! HE was the one who dealt with Jason's bullshit after everything was said and done and was one of the only members of the family to treat him normally. HE was the one who refused to give up on Bruce after he 'died' and went through so much trauma for YEARS and dealt with Ra's bullshit. He literally had his spleen removed leaving him immunocompromised. He ISOLATED himself from the people he cared about for BRUCE. He literally traveled through time for him. And on top of all that, he had his Robin mantle forcibly taken from him and given to this assassin child who hates him. And actively tries to kill him. Plus Dick think he was absolutely crazy all the time, which, yeah, fair enough. I might be wrong but didn't he successfully clone Superboy? That's some crazy person shit DIDN'T HE MAKE OUT WITH SUPERBOY'S EX THINKING ABOUT HIM? that's some crazy homosexual shit that I won't be tapping into today. So, yeah, excuse Tim if he's just finally so done with everything and everyone.

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daydreaming-paradies · 10 hours

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Duo Dynamics with HSR Men

ᡣ𐭩 Summary: What is your duo dynamic with HSR men?

ᡣ𐭩 characters: Dr.Ratio(194), Argenti(219), Luka(278), and Gepard(163)

ᡣ𐭩 Warnings: Fluff, Hurt/comfort, crack, Reader being insecure of Love(Aregnti), Unrequired love to required love(Luka), Serval and Pela want to smack someone on the head(Gepard), a little bit of angst

ᡣ𐭩 ~ Want to Continue?~

Dr. Ratio

I hate everybody but you x sunshine

Veritas Ratio’s coworkers notice that Veritas is rude and arrogant towards others but you, the sunshine student under Veritas Ratio. Even Topaz was confused by how Veritas treated you kindly while treating others with arrogance and pride. You always greeted everyone and Veritas with a smile on your face but since Veritas treated you with kindness, everyone has been teasing him nonstop which annoyed Veritas but it was worth it in his opinion. One day, you see Veritas taking care of one of his status, your eyes shine so much and go up to him. “Dr.Ratio!” You called out to him. “You look absolutely exquisite today sir.” The poor man’s heart is about to burst out in cuteness overload for you but he did not show it. “Well thank you,[Y/N]. I know that I am exquisite today but please make sure to turn in your work.” You nod and go off on your merry day. “Jeez Doctor.” Aventurine says with a sly smile. “I never knew IPC’s Sunshine had this much power over you.” Veritas has to hit Aventurine with a book since he nearly exposes the flustered man to Topaz.

Argenti

Believes they don't deserve love x Absolutely down bad

Ah Argenti, the man who sees beauty in everything and everyone. He is the man with love for anything but he is absolutely down bad for you. You on the other hand do not see Love in a positive light. You are often insecure with yourself after a harsh break up with your ex, you unfortunately don't believe that you are undeserving for love. You think to yourself that Agrenti will use you for your body or looks. Argenti knows this and he has every right to understand where you are coming from but he also knows that he is not like your ex. He kept pursuing you, asking for a chance and the dude even says that he will wait for you like a knight would. At first you are wary and harshly reject or ignore him but after a while, you slowly accept Argenti’s advances with a promise to deal with your actions that the red haired man immediately. It does take time but you slowly slowly come to realize that Argenti loves you for you, how Argenti worships you, kisses the ground you walk on. You have decided to give love another chance and ask Argenti out which he happily accepted with an attack of compliments to you. Maybe love is not so bad after all.

Luka

Childhood best friends to lovers

Luka is your childhood best friend and the first friend you had. You two did everything together and even looked up to each other. But sadly, life gets in the way as you have to move away to another city. Luka was heartbroken as he never confessed his love to you but he was determined to wait for you. He kept his promise alright as now as a young man in high school, being all his happy go lucky self when he heard someone call his name. He looked to the source of the voice and he saw you all grow up and pretty, he felt his heart race at the sight of you, He did not know what came up to him. He ran up to you and hugged you tightly, mumbling how he misses you and how life is not the same without you. You were glad how you could see Luka again but you noticed how Luka had that look of longing in his blue eyes, how his hands brushed against yours and he made excuses about it. You had a sneaky feeling that he had a crush on you and you are not going to lie. You also have a crush on him too because he knows you very well unlike the others and to be perfectly honest you want Luka to confess his feelings to you already. You cannot stand this unrequited love but thankfully the aeons are not so mean after all. Luka confessed to you underneath the starry skies of your two’s favorite hang out spot and you tearfully reciprocate his feelings with a kiss on the lips. Ah,young love.

Gepard

Oblivious x Oblivious

If everyone can say one thing about you and Gepard is that you two are so oblivious to each other’s feelings is both funny and facepalm worthy. You two talk about each other all the time and even trying to say that you two don’t probably don't feel the same makes Pela wanna cry and Serval wants to hit someone with her guitar over and over again. It takes you both 4 whole months that you two love each other. “I did not know me and Gepard loved each other.” You told Serval and Pela with Gepard in Serval’s line of sight. “Why does nobody tell us? We should have known this in the first place.” The sight of Pela hitting you with the book and Serval smacking Gepard upside on the head over and over again while chasing him is to this day a funny story nobody can live it down. That is what you two get for being so damn oblivious!

~Taglist: @dailypenpen @purpleqilinwrites @areislol @yoghurtsan @ryuryuryuyurboat @thestarswhisper @windblume-wishes @husky-studies @sanzach / @zaeshi-amatus @mitsvriii @aventxsha @the-guardian-kitsune @asoulsreverie @mccnstruck @snobwaffles @sweetlyvibe @dxmoness @inkybloom-luv

#ཐིཋྀ- daydream’s paradise -ཐིཋྀ #୨୧- daydream’s library #ᰔ- come daydream again #𖤍-honkai star rail #honkai star rail imagines #hsr x reader #argenti x reader #gepard x reader #dr. ratio x you #hsr luka x reader #argenti x y/n #argenti x you #dr. ratio x reader #gepard x you #hsr Luka x y/n

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fleetingcalypso · 3 days

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HIIII, if you don't mind me asking!

I have a prompt in mind thanks to a post I saw the other day on Instagram, and I think it's PERFECT for an Henry Winters fic, so here it is!

It is said that the ancient Greeks used the throwing of an apple to propose, and if you accepted the marriage proposal you caught the apple mid air.

Imagine that, after years of friendship and relationship, Henry proposes to y/n by throwing her?them? an apple and they caught it 👀👀👀

I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR OPINION

≋ Thank you for being my very first companion in this new beginning. I'll happily indulge you. I can only hope my vision is satisfactory.

≋ Henry Winter x GN!Reader ≋

≋ Word count: around 2,4k words.

≋ TW: Slight misogyny, probable manipulation and toxic relationship, Edmund "Bunny" Corcoran.

Henry Winter is a disease. I took notice the first time I laid my eyes on him. He carries himself as if he is Atlas, mantaining the entire world on his shoulders and as if the it weighs nothing at all. His friend group is not any better, quite frankly: twins, incestuous ones clinging to each other like abandoned pups, a queer young man, with hair as red as the sunset and a mask to put Melpomene and Thalia to shame, an insufferable brat and a clean slate of a man, completely and utterly empty inside, stuck in his fantasy. For some insane reason, I found myself part of this whorehouse as well.

Henry Winter rises above all of them, I fully believe that. The world bends to his will, it always has and it always will. He is the tempestuous sea that grinds down the cliff, he is the wind that bends trees with only a light breeze, Henry Winter in his magnificence is the Sun which the World revolves around.

He stands on the edge of the lake as I see him, towering over the calm surface, trusted book resting in the crook of his elbow and a red apple in his hand. If I squint and let the sun go into my eyes for a moment, I can wholly see him as Zeus, King of the Gods, unshackled by any guilt or any error he might have upon himself, he grips the fruit of sin in his palm, his thumb stroking the skin of it as if it was a lover’s cheek. “Henry,” I call out to the wind and I feel the Heaven I had created in my mind collapse when my voice reaches him. His gaze breaks from the horizon, it sets itself upon my figure, it feels like I’m no longer standing near Francis’ lake house, instead I’m perambulating through the Elysian Fields, at the edge of the world. This man is a disease, he is a drug, and I am but a servant of his world slowly stealing crumbs of what he offers me, becoming an addict before I can realize it.

“You should have stayed back with the others. I’ll be but a minute.” He speaks and it’s a subtle order the one he gives me, but I’ve never been one to follow instructions, even if given by Gods of his caliber. I am unable to move from my spot. It is an impossible task, almost herculean, how could it be anything else when this is one of the very rare moments we can catch, with just us present.

At my insolent inobedience, his lips tilt up into a grin. It is a swift motion as he tosses the apple to me, an even swifter motion as I grab it. And it ends there: Paris has chosen the one to whom the Golden Apple belongs to. He wordlessly approaches me, spins me around, rests his warm hand on the small of my back and guides me back to the house.

A week later, as I’m nursing him back to health after he's found himself victim to a vicious migraine, his kitchen acts as my sanctuary and it isn’t until after ten minutes of pure silence that his house phone rings, on the other side of it none other than Bunny. “How’s Henry?” He asks, and I doubt he is looking for an honest answer, “He’s resting,” I reply, hoping he might find some other poor sinner to bother. To my displeasure, he keeps talking, tasking me with the lowly chore of having to listen to him.

“That’s too bad! I’ve been meaning to talk to him about something of the utmost importance,” He professes, his smirk perfectly audible in the tone of his voice.

“I’m sure I can pass along the message, what is it, Bunny?” “Oh, I was just wondering if he could lend me a couple hundred dollars before he begins going mental trying to organize your wedding.” Now, this was one of the most dumbfounding sentences Bunny had ever spoken into existence. Even if it was for a fleeting moment, my mind could not comprehend him: ‘your wedding’ he had said, like he expected me to agree as second nature. “My wedding, Bunny?” I sought further information, with not little confusion in my voice, his newly founded dubiety mimicking my feelings.

“Yes? Your wedding. You know, the one Henry proposed to you not so long ago? Have you really forgotten?” His ‘know-it-all’ tone doesn’t do much to help me find what grain of peace of mind I have lost. “No, Bunny. Henry did not propose to me, you must be mistaken. We are not engaged, whatever you are drinking is doing you more harm than good.”

“Ah, but I’m as sober as a stone carving, dearest friend,” and there it is again, the mockery that so perfectly encapsulates what Edmund ‘Bunny’ Corcoran is. If Henry is a disease, then Bunny is the plague itself. “And I am not mistaken, I don’t know what the point of acting secretively is now that we all know about your engagement. You’re acting ridiculous.”

For once in my life, I find Bunny’s words interesting, and for as much as I would love for it to be reality, I know an engagement with Henry never occurred. Lest I was too inebriated to properly recall it.

“I for one,” he keeps talking, much to my dismay when I see Henry staggering into the room, “Would be heartbroken if my Marion were to forget a romantic proposal such as the one you experienced. Ah! I can feel it shattering already, my poor heart.”

“Bunny, I have to go.”

“Wait! What about the mon-” I’m quick to interrupt him by hanging up. With time it’s become almost an artstyle: ignoring Bunny’s requests this way is something not even Henry himself is able to do.

My fingers are still tightly wrapped around the handset, the only noise I hear is Henry’s rugged breathing as he struggles to keep himself upright. Such a prideful man, bested by a migraine. Were I not caught up in an internal turmoil I would have precipitously scrambled by his side, wrapped my arm around his body and guided him to his armchair, but now? Now I watch him, and he watches me. His eyes are like a hawk’s, they pierce right through me.

He hasn’t heard what Bunny said, I know it, I’m certain of it. Then, why is it that I feel like in front of me is not a man, but judge, jury and executioner. He’s waiting for me to do anything, my Achilles’ heel is waiting, standing right in front of me and it seems unsure of what to do: to mercilessly bore himself through me as a spear does to an enemy soldier or to let me make the first step into the battlefield unharmed.

“Bunny called.” My voice is unrecognizable to me, his hum is enough for me to keep talking, “He is often unruly, foolish and to be completely honest unbearable. One can always expect to be mocked when in his presence,” Why I find myself detailing our friend’s manners is unclear, perhaps I am searching for a grain of context where I can find only unsureness, “But he said something peculiar today, to my surprise. Something I find myself clinging on. It was but a short-lived conversation, yet, it flooded my mind with ‘what-ifs’.”

“Even Bunny has his moments.” His attempt at a joke is but a mere flicker of light humor, a fickle attempt to avoid this situation we are both stuck in. Knowing him, Henry right now would love nothing more than a glass of whiskey and for me to start working on his dinner. So I do. A sigh abandons my lips as I move to the kitchen, and before I know it I’ve abandoned the subject at hand, focusing instead on the sound of the bottom of his glass makes as it makes contact with the wooden table.

Henry, my gentle savior, pops me out of my bubble with just a few words. “I have yet to properly thank you for taking care of me this way.” I feel he wants to say more so I don’t interrupt and as expected my transcendental divinity blesses me with his voice once again, “My kitchen feels right with you in it, there’s a dent in the place you always occupy on the couch, for some reason I can’t bring myself to fluff it out.” A beat passes, “My bed feels warmer with you in it.”

Nights with him weren’t all that rare, but they also weren’t a regular occurrence. I know I’m not the only one to have seen Henry in his most intimate moments, the sheer passion we have shared wasn’t one that he kept locked away just for me. He is a giver, at heart. His heart, although cold and behind bars, has a need to give, all the time. I fear he thinks that if he does not give, then he has nothing himself.

“Are you saying I should move in with you?” I ask, the spoon I’m using to stir his dinner almost abandons my hands to fall into the pot. He is easier to read than he thinks, or maybe I am a fool with a crooked halo.

“I feel it is only proper.” His presence behind me is noticeable only when his arms wrap around me, his chest presses against my back and I delude myself this is a display of affection for an invisible audience, I mislead myself into imagining we are in a house full of people gazing at us with a soft smile on their faces, being participants of what could be our affection for each other. I know better. From the way his arms twitch, my beloved Henry is only using me as a crutch to make sure I am not burning his food.

“Is it?” The ability to form sentences seems to have fled my mind, “And why is that? Simply because I nurse you back to health?”

“I won’t lie and say that’s not part of why I want you here. I would have thought you had understood by now.”

Maybe I don’t know Henry as well as I do, because his words strike me with each syllable. “What Bunny said, he said something about a wedding. My wedding, your wedding, our wedding.”

And just like that the bandaid comes off. And a response never comes. His hair tickles my neck and the cold rim of his glasses sends goosebumps down my neck when he nuzzles his face in my shoulder. Now I’m sure I don’t know him at all.

“Our wedding.” He finally breaks the silence when he notices the spoon inevitably fell into the pot. I hear his soft whisper directly into my ear.

As my head turns to try and find his gaze, my eye falls onto the basket of apples set on the counter. Red ones, like the ones near the lake house. Red, the color of love, of passion and of blood. It ties together the two most gruesome things in human history, a pair that cannot be undone not even by divine intervention: Love and Murder.

“I thought you’d be overjoyed to be my bride. Was I wrong?” There’s a challenge in his tone, he wants to be challenged, almost wants me to deny him, but Henry knows. He knows I cannot deny him, ever. I don’t want to deny him.

Now it seems so obvious. Henry must think me a fool for having taken so long, even so, teasing him tastes just like sweet ambrosia and no matter how much I try, part of me cannot be restrained.

“Throwing an apple at a girl to claim her as your bride might have been the fashion back then,” His smirk is pressed into my skin as his lips kiss the spot right under my ear, “But might I have to remind you, Henry, not all of us are as knowledgeable about Ancient Greece's customs as you are. It was such an ephemeral moment it did not seem to have much meaning.”

“I’m offended, I’ll have you know I put quite a lot of thought into it.” His hands rest on my waist as they have done so many times, only now it doesn’t feel as inconspicuous as it used to be. I’m the last one to know, this is a first.

“I doubt aiming a fruit at my face took you much thought.”

“On the contrary, dearest. Were my toss too strong it would have hurt you, and that was not my intention.” His hand is warm, it’s all I can feel when it rests on my cheek, and as he did while holding the apple that day, his thumb strokes my skin. “It was entertaining to see you so oblivious, I have to admit, even if I owe Bunny around two hundred dollars now.”

“What for?”

“He bet everyone that you would not understand what my action meant until someone brought your attention to it.”

“That bastard.”

I have a sneaking feeling a diamond ring will sit on my finger before tomorrow, but for the time being, this is fine. Jewelry, accessories have never meant much, it’s just gold, silver, rubies. The way his lips press against mine to muffle my laugh means much more than any diamond ever could. I’ve spent long trying to not fall in love with Henry, and now I’ll spend even longer knowing what being loved by him feels like.

He is my Paris, kidnapping me from my rotten existence to be with him, and unlike Helen I accept this fate. Unlike Helen, I love my abductor, I love him so much this doesn’t even feel like a transgression. Henry holds my heart in his hands, as he did that apple, and it is his choice to chuck it as far as he can or to gently place it in a basket in his home. For the time being, he is being as generous as to handle me with nothing but love and care. If our story is to be narrated, like a Greek myth, like a victorious hymn, let it be forever like this, while we hold each other in our kitchen, exchanging the first kisses of our real, unmasked love.

#fleetingcalypso #calypsodaydreams #the secret history #the secret history x reader #henry winter x reader #oneshot #gn reader #reader insert #dark academia #fluff #angst

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panimoonchild · 20 hours

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Music is not beyond politics

I was planning to write this post yesterday. But I felt another wave of emptiness because of the hypocrisy of the world. So here we are now again...

Ukrainians screamed that she was a Russian-Israeli representative from the start.

I watched some reactions and...

Double kill. She is everywhere🙄🤷

That speaks volumes.

But he never apologized to us about interaction with russians🤷

That situation was one of many reasons why I am sick and tired of the hypocrisy of Eurovision, of the hypocrisy of the world.

When I was 14 and russia occupied my hometown the world was silently watching. Now I see how the world can be united.

a hypocrite shouts no to war)

During the Eurovision Song Contest 2023, he supported Ukraine and then abruptly started kissing the gums with the not all russians the same)

before going on stage, he shot a video with an Israeli woman, saw that the fans covered him with dicks, and ran to "no to war") how does he sit on two chairs?)

It's unbelievable how SICK I am of these guys who try to be neutral, but not by shut up, but by saying "well, I'm for everyone, I'm not against anyone, I'm just against the war 🥺"

Amen. That's easy enough to do but no ... stupid people always dare to speak.

OK, enough about them. Let's talk about our representatives.

I'm late to the party. But this post was for yesterday in my mind.

Maybe I'm biased but I see us in top 5. I think we definitely deserve it.

Now I want to share my favourite reactions. Where people understand our message, visuals, outfits etc. For me especially was important scene where Jerry are climbing and behind her phosphorus bombs. Those people who realized what it represents.

youtube

That intelligent man realized what that represents. At the moment "My prayers are with you, Ukraine" I almost got goosebumps. I love honest reactions from people who truly mean what they say.

And the end when the audience was shown I very appreciated his comment: "He looks so unimpressed. You gotta clap my guy. You are in the audience, you don't support anyone. They performed for you, you meant clap. Why do you sit with an angry face? Why are you going there in the first place? I got chills towards the end, and that guy kinda ruined it with his face".

Give him some love🫂

youtube

That Filipino also warms my heart. And his comments:

- She actually looks like a warrior ready for a battle, to defend her country.

❗- It actually sounds like a prayer to be. It sounds like a sincere prayer to be.

I literally got chills when he said it.

- We all know what Ukraine is going through. But that song speaks volumes about Ukraine itself.❤️‍🩹🫂

And the last one who understood that's missiles.

youtube

God, when will I ever experience anything remotely like the delight I experienced with THIS again?

Yes, those times they have charisma, stage presence, attitude, voice, sound, lyrics.

I think this year all of that + staging and message have Ukrainian representatives.

I will watch Eurovision finale. So I hope justice will prevail and fucking Russian-Israeli doesn't got more points than us. But I feel that can be a case...

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astarionancuninslittlelove · 3 days

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BG3 Companions as The Tortured Poets Department Songs:

Wyll•Gale•Astarion•Karlach•Lae’zel•

Shadowheart Headcanon

Wyll 🗡️: "Fresh Out the Slammer"

"Years of labor, locks, and ceilings/

In the shade of how he was feeling/

But it's gonna be alright./

I did my time.

Now pretty baby I'm runnin back home to you"

I am not sure why this just reminds me of Wyll getting out of Mizora's pact and out from under the disapproving eyes of his father and being free. From there, he is free to do as he pleases. Also, I think Wyll to be a certified lover boy, so once he is free of all of this, he is free to really get into it with Tav.

Gale 🔮: "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived"

"And I don't even want you back/

I just want to know/

If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal/

And I don't miss what we had/

But could someone give/

A message to the smallest man who ever lived"

"And you'll confess why you did it/

And I'll say, "Good riddance"/

Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden/

I would've died for your sins/

Instead I just died inside/

And you deserve prison,/

But you won't get time."

Immediately reminded me of Gale and Mystra. The whole time, Gale didn't know that what she was doing was so wrong, and once he came to that realization after she essentially cast him out to die, he realized. As the loyal king that he is, I really believe he would have done anything for her. And Mystra, when I find you Mystra...you do deserve prison!!!!

Astarion 🦇: "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)"

"They shake their heads/

Saying, "God help her," when I/

Tell 'em he's my man/

But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger

I can fix him/

No, really I can.

This reminded me more of Tav x Astarion's relationship rather than Astarion himself. In the beginning when you pair up with Astarion, it is almost like the air is thick with some sort of confusion or disapproval with the companions at camp (not confirmed, just vibes) because (good aligned) Tav and Astarion is such an unlikely pair. They eventually learn to love it.

Karlach 🔥: "Florida!!!"

"And my friends all smell like weed or little babies/

And the city reeks of driving myself crazy"

"Your home's really a town/

You're just a guest in"

The first part reminded me of how after Gortash's death, Karlach has dialogue with Tav about how they get to go about living their lives meanwhile she has a death sentence. The second part reminds me of how much she loves Baldur's Gate, but she cannot be there as much as she would want to--She must return to Avernus otherwise her heart will go into overdrive. Also in the epilogue she mentions to Tav how she is going to come back to Baldur's Gate eventually; she PROMISES in fact. She is going to find a way.

Lae'zel ⚔️: "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?"

"I just want to snarl and show you/

Just how disturbed this has made me/

You wouldn't last an hour/

In the asylum where they raised me"

"I was tame, I was gentle/

Til the circus life made me mean/

Don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth"

This song got me thinking about how her entire upbringing, she was told to worship Vlaakith and how she would do anything in her name. Upon finding out of Vlaakith's ulterior motives, she is stripped of everything that she knew her entire life.

Shadowheart 🖤: "I Hate It Here"

"You see I was a debutant in another life but/

Now I seem to be scared to go outside/

If comfort is a construct/

I don't believe in good luck/

Now that I know what's what.

"I hate it here so I will go to/

Secret gardens in my mind/

People need a key to get to/

The only one is mine/

I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child/

No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears/

I'm there most of the year/

Cause I hate it here"

I had a harder time finding a song that fit her, but this one stuck out the most because there are parts of her that she doesn't remember, and throughout the beginning of the game, she is incredibly secretive as a self-preservation tactic.

#bg3 headcanons #astarion ancunin #gale dekarios #wyll ravengard #karlach cliffgate #shadowheart #lae'zel #bg3 fanfic #baldurs gate 3 #headcanon #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #bg3 x taylor swift #mine

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blushedfemme · 2 days

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shit, man. see, I usually go for other stoner mascs but your posts about intox butches is making me a little stupid and I just woke up.

I'm just thinking of innocently coming over, maybe to help you build a shelf or play games together, and eventually we'd roll two blunts or three and sit down together. I'd be all sweaty, and I'd apologize but you tell me you don't mind. You don't offer a shower. Instead you sit closer to me and my smell and your perfume end up mixing in the air and I'm fighting for my life to not stare at your tits. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I feel guilty being attracted to femmes since I transitioned. I fix my packer down my pants and try to be casual, showing you some local punk bands that I like.

Little did I know you're doing it on purpose. Of course you picked that shirt on purpose. Of course you're touching my combat boots with your heels on purpose. You know what you're doing when you ask to touch my mohawk, scratching my head with your long nails and giving me visible goosebumps. I'd chuckle nervously, "sorry, I really like when people play with my hair". You know what you were doing when you asked if my lip piercings change anything, if my tongue piercing does. You keep asking me about my tattoos and eventually I take my shirt off (staying with my binder) so you can see them better. I don't notice you sitting closer to me. I don't notice how my eyes keep inevitably moving down your body, I don't notice anything and I don't even have the time to feel bad for being a pervert because I've fallen right onto your trap. 😵‍💫

I don't really wear spiked collars but I'd let you put me on you, and maybe muzzle me after you realize I bite when I get too excited.

(I hope this ain't a bother and you enjoy my anon, maam) - 💣

i am giggling and kicking my feet like umm. hiiiiiii~

i’ve never had the chance to hook up with an alt or punk butch and i think that would be so hot honestly. i LOVE contrasting aesthetics. i dress so preppy and sweetheartcore and girl-next-door, except when i’m having a siren/femme fatale moment. and an outside (biased) observer might think you were the sinister corrupting force in that dynamic but in reality it’s me 💖💅🏻 touching your combat boots with my heels is a delicious detail oh my god

yeah i would love to smoke out a punk butch who’s a lil sweaty and a lil nervous, dangle my soft tits in front of you like bait and play with your mohawk (!!!!) and sit too close and be so mock-innocent in my curiosity about all your piercings and tattoos. as if i’m so wholesome. as if i don’t have a collar and muzzle waiting for you…. maybe when i get impatient enough i’d ‘notice’ your packer and ask if i can feel it, again feigning mere curiosity, and kiss you so i can taste your pot-laced breath and catch your whimpers in my mouth…

#clarke answers #💣 anon #obsessed with how you started this ask btw (positive) from now on i want everyone to come into my inbox like. shit man….#intox #intox tw #weed tw #okay but anon the bit where you said you feel guilty being attracted to femmes since you transitioned 🥺 kinda broke my heart #like please i love transmascs and trans guys who are dykes about it…. dont feel guilty i want you so bad 😭

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noirneru · 6 months

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im coughing up a lung but i persist and doodle my wife

#art #artists on tumblr #illustration #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #estinien #estinien varlineau #estinien wyrmblood #ff14 #i don't think you all realize how in love with this man i am #ishgardian pussy so good i almost forgive the french

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queseraphita · 4 months

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*sees the stargazer right next to the boss room knowing exactly who I'm up against* oh... how kind of them... :)

#bro climbing this tower was ok once i got past the door guardian #did feel my soul leave my body when i made a fuck up and watched 22k ergo get cleaved into 12k ergo #this game is just throwin it at me in this last half #i am sitting on like 50k ergo in storage and I'm like ya thats fine #i saw camille lore and man....geppetto my man did you really make your dead wife into a puppet #i feel like if the alchemists didn't find out about her or how they did we could've had like venigni + pucinella parallels with #like carlo and camille if he had the chance to grow up and be raised by her #bc i don't think geppetto would've been all that present regardless like i don't think he knew about the camille ego awakening #considering this shenanigans with Carlo and the nameless puppet and not realizing p has developed into a person #honestly might make a note of that if i decide to write (unlikely)#i feel so bad i am sitting on guilt but i lied to eugenie about who or where the real alidoro was #like i really wanted her to know the truth but also maybe let her believe alidoro is always watching over her kinda deal #it was hard #im so grateful this game lets you choose not to fight cat and fox #i could not in my heart of hearts hurt gattito #hes my buddy i love him #watching the steam achievements pop up and getting into the 15-22% area of collectibles is lol #mikh plays lies of p #lop spoilers

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astrxealis · 1 year

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sometimes i think of scenarios in my head with my ocs and then sometimes for happy brain i kinda crossover them with my favorite medias atm and also insert myself in bcs i like being self-indulgent and yeah my brain is so fucked up that i just keep repeating the same first bits and can't get far in thinking and i end up just having my s/i ramble my thoughts and it's hard to explain but yeah but anyways it's interesting thinking about who or what my ocs would like in video games or colors or whatever because all my ocs seem to reflect a certain part of me and i can get into the psychology of that but also its hard to explain my thoughts but also anyways yeah i find it interesting thinking about who my ocs would kin

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#feel free to just ignore me oopsies i am just rambling but yeah i love my ocs so much #sorry besties you are all subject once more to my brainrots and rambles and random thoughts now that i am on tumblr rn #my brain is very interesting to me and the way i think but also i can't properly think in such a way and i find it really hard to explain #and i'm such a mess but also man i don't know and i'm going off-track and god i love vgm so much and i don't want to do homework #but anyways back to the goddamn point !!! so my oc merle. i have little crossover thoughts in my head right and i realize #he's similar with akira and then it makes sense as to why i like characters like akira and it's a little woa fr bcs #the way i imagine merle is really similar to akira actually but with a more purple color scheme (but still dark) and he doesn't wear #glasses (at least. wait. actually. i don't really know anymore) GOD my mind never stops but yeah uhm yeah #i think humans are so unbelievably interesting and it's all just so fascinating and and and #also i've awakened to the fact i really like sharks i think they're very cute! i still prefer dolphins though #people who hurt animals make me really angry and sad... i think about it and already want to cry #i have never had a pet but my grandparents had lots and it's funny how memory works. i forgot they once had a pet turtle #until something in a school group project involved my group involving a pet turtle in our storyline for something #and then i remember that past. my past. once again. and clearly even! and... yeah #but yeah... i know i will never abandon my pet if ever i do get a pet. or pets. i would never do that and i really know this is a fact with #all my heart but what's stopping me from getting a pet is that i need to take better care of myself first and learn how to take care of #pets! i think where i live there's actually an opportunity for me to do so. i'll try to see more about that. and hmm... this is a really #busy year for school. and then the next. and then tbh everything onwards from 2023 so... i don't want to put time to something #i'm not even sure if i can really make time for. but. i think i really do want a pet! a dog esp. but also a cat. but a dog esp #bcs i've always wanted one !! i know when it comes to something i really want i am very dedicated and passionate #like how i already calculated xiv expenses months before actually got the game? and planned how me and lune would do things too #and then because i want to handle money better and take note of all that i yeah and yeah and yeah im tired of typing now BYE #will now disappear again after rambling quite a lot ^__^ maybe? maybe not? who knows!#my thoughts are so. whack. wack? idk. but uhm yeah it went from ocs to sharks to pets to money and idk huh #man w some things i'm really shy about being perceived or asked about. like my ocs. egbhebgjhbjehs ;;;;;#and people being nice to me T__T sorry i rlly appreciate it but i can't really comprehend it and my coping mechanism is avoidance

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myheartxmyman · 1 month

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The You I knew seems to be gone.. Last year I tried to find the old you, I couldn't reach you anymore. Wasn't able to feel our bond the way it had been and I got more and more desperate.

Those last week's I am not desperate, I am truly unhappy, sad, feeling alone while being in 'a partnership', I am deeply hurt, and at the same time trying to get over those feelings I feel. Sometimes being with you is just too much, because I want nothing more than spending time with you, but I am not feeling it. It hurts. Sometimes being in your presence makes me feel so so lonely. Sometimes I have to be alone, because it feels like I am still fighting to keep my sanity after you did what you did. You ripped my heart completely open and gave not one shit. I am still suffering that much and I don't know how to make it stop.

Meanwhile I KNOW, you behaved in a horrible and cruel way towards me. Not just once but again and again and again. It seems like you don't even are aware of that. But that's one of the things I am trying to tell you. You don't seem to spend a lot of time even thinking about us, me, my feelings and so on. I feel like you're not reflecting yourself, it's more like you are running from something; and I think somehow it's you. I wish you would for once try to understand my feelings, put yourself in my shoes, see why your actions made me behave in certain ways. You broke my trust not just once or twice, how am I supposed to open up to you again? I won't talk to you if my trust level is that low. That's how it is. And at the same time this situation is hurting me over and over again. Because what we shared was something special, and now we're so close to losing each other. Somehow it feels like I am waiting and waiting for nothing, because we don't seem to be on your mind anymore. You want to talk to me, you're blaming me.. Why don't you listen to my words? When did you get blind? I am hurting, I am unhappy, I don't want to leave, but I fear 'this' is not going anywhere. We are standing still.

#Ich leide an Oxitocin Entzug #but with the feeling I got while being with you over one year ago #there is no going back in time #I am so so sad these days #I miss you #I would need your comfort #but the way it is between us meanwhile it wouldnt be the 'right' comfort I am longing so much #I mean if you would even try to comfort me #just realized that I don't know when you last put effort into being my light my comfort my partner #you don't seem to care #you are so distant and cold and I fear I am treating you the same #it's because I still can't forgive you #the last two days I was thinking about us and I was wondering if I did really feel a little less pain anger resentment hurt eg towards you #maybe I am just getting used to it #you will never understand the pain you infected on me those two weeks of end December continued by your spontaneous trip which really took #me out completely #I am still in shock when thinking just a tiny bit about it #the pain agony hell you made me feel #like I didn't matter at all #like I was nothing #not worth a damn #I mean you leaving spontaneous our of nowhere for holidays would have broken my heart already #and you should know that #but the country you went to shattered my trust my heart my whole being #and I am so hurt again #i can't get it out of my head #I don't understand how you could be so so cruel #you are not one bit of the man I loved so fast as a friend #than as my man #you are not there anymore

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severepink · 3 months

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Observing Adam

Where I go way too deep into something that probably isn't that deep. It's long, it's long as hell.

Okay, so you'd think with how Adam talks he's just a typical misogynist, right?

This man worships pussy. So much so, he's named a whole ass angel, one of his best, Vagina. You'd say that he objectifies them and thinks of them as being lesser, but I don't think that's the whole story. In fact, I think he might be the original simp.

All of these exorcists so far have been women. All of them. He refers to them as ladies or bitches interchangeably, he sees them as being completely capable of absolutely decimating leagues of some of the most vile beings who have ever existed, and they have, to the point it was only after thousands of years that there's been a risk to this hierarchy.

He's a self-centered, egotistical, loud-mouthed, arrogant asshole, no doubt about it, but I'm beginning to suspect something now.

If Adam and Lilith were created from the same dust, if they were created as equals, I am more than willing to bet... Lilith is also a self-centered, egotistical, arrogant asshole. But, she's likely far more intelligent, composed, and duplicitous.

Lilith was allowed to refuse Adam and leave of her own free will and garnered her own independence. A new wife was created for Adam, she was replaced. My guess, is she thought Adam wouldn't be able to live without her, to come back and find herself replaced entirely, she was enraged.

I believe both Adam and Lilith were both incredibly dominant individuals who fought over ideas, thoughts, and ultimately in the bedroom as well, if we take into account the creationist stories.

I'm willing to bet she likely manipulated Lucifer into twisting humanity against its original concept. What if Lucifer's intention truly was to just spark something within Eve, like independence and thought and creation, but it was Lilith's poison within the fruit that tainted her, then subsequently Adam, with sin.

Lilith thrived in hell, while Lucifer's dreams of creation were dashed. She didn't suffer as he did, instead the power of her voice grew with hell. Her voice grew so powerful that heaven found it to be a threat, her actions instigated the beginning of exterminations.

Charlie said that when she was a little girl, she didn't know Lucifer at all. I don't think this was because of Lucifer, he's seen here, picking her up, inviting her to share in his thoughts and dreams, showing her something wonderful. Something she could see within herself.

Charlie says that it's this moment that sparked her will to fight for her dreams. Which is strange, because at the very beginning of the story, Charlie says it was her mother's dream that was passed down to her.

Lilith took Charlie away. In this scene, Lucifer wasn't done showing Charlie his thoughts and dreams, he's still yearning to show his daughter these things at this point.

Lucifer loves his daughter. He loves Charlie so, so, so much. So why wasn't he allowed to build a relationship with his daughter for the longest time? He was waiting for the opportunity to get to know her, but with how much he adores her why didn't he do it sooner? He didn't comment on 'It took you a while-' he just said he missed her smile. They don't want to be pulled apart, again.

Now, we know Vivziepop has said that Lucifer and Lilith love each other, but Lilith 'wears the pants' in the relationship. We see all of the pictures all over the walls of a supposedly happy family. I don't think the relationship was as loving as originally portrayed and Lilith is a woman who desires control above all else. She likely tried to mitigate what influence Lucifer had over their daughter when she thought his angelic thoughts and behaviors became more than what she approved of.

Lets take it back to Adam and Lute for a moment. Again, Adam is a loud mouthed idiot, he's a jerk. The moment he realizes there are demons in heaven, he's ready to go on the attack. It's only because of Lute that he didn't end up doing something absolutely idiotic.

I gotta say, Lute and Adam's relationship is an absolutely fascinating one. He's a disrespectful dick head in how he talks, but how he acts is a different story. He allows Lute to man-handle him. He does listen to her, even if he's a whiny bitch about it.

Look at him, this is the face of a man listening, a dumb one, but a dude listening all the same. He doesn't manhandle her back, he doesn't even pull away until she lets go of his collar. Of all the shit he complained about, between being grabbed and being told what to do, his biggest complaint is that she's telling him to shush.

We know that Adam is the one who suggested the exterminations to begin with, so Sera says, and this was because of the power that Lilith was amassing. To him, Lilith is a threat. Even when he was willing to move on, to go to another wife when Lilith didn't want him or want to submit to him (fair babe, he's a bit of an idiot), she came back with an angel and proceeded to manipulate his new wife Eve. This is the supposed progenitor of man-kind, the original dick (hilariously enough), the reason civilization even exists at all. He and Eve had to fight for their lives after being tempted with the fruit. They had immortality, they had no ideas of shame, they were supposedly 'innocent' creatures before Lilith and Lucifer came along. He and Eve had to fight tooth and nail to survive after being cast from Eden. I think it shows in how willing and ready he is to take lead and do what he believes needs to be done, now out of a need for entertainment rather than a need to defend or protect. But, he still stopped to listen to Lute's advice. In the mythological story of Adam and Eve, Adam is the one who has to tell Eve that god said don't eat the fruit. Eve never heard god speak to her, so she was vulnerable to the snake's manipulations. She will now die because she ate it, and because she did not want Adam to take another wife, convinced him to eat it unknowingly. Funnily enough, Adam tried to explain to god that 'she lied to me and gave me the fruit' and in this actual mythology, Adam was punished for listening to his wife. Even without mentioning Lilith in the original mythology, Eve didn't want Adam to take another wife, so when we consider it within the context of Hazbin Hotel, it may be likely that's how it went down. Eve knew of Lilith, knew that she could be replaced, and decided that she would take Adam with her.

I believe that Adam does and did rely on the women in his life to help him with direction. I think Adam knows he can be an idiot and is willing to listen, even if he doesn't agree with what he's hearing. He did listen to Charlie in the beginning, he just didn't believe in her, like everyone else and he, out of anyone there, probably had the most reason not to. Cain and Abel were his and Eve's sons, his own child became the first murderer. Out of jealousy, the same kind of jealousy that no doubt has caused Lilith to act how she did. Adam isn't going to have empathy for sinners. His family, his legacy, were filled with the original sinners. He probably had to kill his son Cain in hell during the first exterminations. What do you think he would have had to feel, if it came to be a fact that sinners could be redeemed? That maybe his son, could've been redeemed? Or any of his progeny for that matter? How did it feel when his sons, his progeny, weren't given the same mercy as the Hellborn that Lucifer managed to keep protected through some deal with the angels or god? Not to mention that Charlie could've been his daughter. Charlie is the product of the people who completely and totally destroyed the paradise he'd been born into. She's the daughter who is protected and immune from the slaughter while all of his sons and daughters are judged and killed. I believe, even though he was a dickish prankster to Charlie, he was surprisingly patient and even somewhat amicable, willing to even ask her how her weekend was like he was just trying to get to know her.

Adam could just see all of the angels under his employ as being disposable. He doesn't have to name them, or think about them in any individual fashion. But, he knows Vaggie, recognized her instantly. Thought she was badass. Lute's the one who saw her, tore her wings off, and walked away. I'm surprised they even let her live, because this just goes against everything they're doing. They're an army and they saw one of their own showing empathy to the enemy.

Look at this dumb ass. He's being a shit-head, a dick, a bastard. But, he admires Vaggie's ability to pull Charlie, congratulates her, this dude isn't even judging her for being a lesbian. I don't think it's because he objectifies women, this dude loves women, he just does. He respects fellow vagina lovers. I don't think he respects liars in the slightest though. He's being underhanded, he's trying to be manipulative (he's not very good at it). I think he's brutally open and honest about everything and that's probably one of the reasons he's such a bastard anyways, because sometimes you just need to shut-up and he's not good at that.

I don't think he respects Sera for that either, he's more than willing to let others know what the hell he's doing, but under Sera's lead, he can't be open about it. I don't think it's his jam to act this way, it's why he sucks so bad at it and I think that's why Lilith is so antithetical to him. I also think that's why he's possibly even being manipulated.

It's kind of crazy that Adam is the only one who tries to come up with what allows someone to get into heaven. So here's his list: 1. Act Selfless: Maybe at one point he was! He had to have been, to be one of the progenitors of mankind, he would have had to work, sacrifice, and give to his wife and children for them all to survive. Eve would have had to do the same, no doubt. He may not seem selfless, due to his raunchy behavior, but he's served heaven since he's been there. He's served humanity in some kind of facet. 2. Don't Steal: Considering the only other humans are his spawn, he likely had to try and get them to not steal from one another for them all to have an equal opportunity of survival. He and Eve likely both knew they would need to work together to survive.

3. Stick it to the man: This, however, is interesting. Who is 'The Man' he speaks of? God? The only other people over him or were equal to him were women. He speaks like a rocker, and I think in this case he's using the term 'The Man' in a gender neutral way. I think he allowed some amount of Authority to Lilith when they were supposed to be seen as equals, it comes so naturally to him as a character when it comes to the other women he's been interacting with. I think she is the 'man' that he's been sticking it to- Pun somewhat intended. ((This third one may also simply be a tongue in cheek reference to when Alex Brightman played Dewey in School of Rock on Broadway! Thank you to the user who brought this to my attention!))

Adam is a bit of a hypocrite, isn't he? He likes to fuck, he's made that abundantly clear. Full of lust you could say. It was his original purpose after all, and he is judging Angel Dust for something he probably would've done himself at one point or has considered doing (maybe not the having sex with men part). Angel Dust does all of these things, Adam doesn't even deny it. He even looks nervous. He's angry, but doesn't deny that Angel has done those things. He doesn't explain it away or try to lie or move the goal posts, he's just asking what is an actually very valid question.

Why isn't Angel Dust there if he can do things equal to what Adam himself hasn't done? Serenity continues that line of thought. It isn't until Charlie is realizing no one knows what it takes to get into heaven.

Adam is more than willing to let Lute take the lead here, he's willing to give her the stage to clap back, he's giving her back-up antics. By all means, they could be pushing and fighting one another, there could easily be body language expressing something other than their general comfort around one another. They aren't fighting for a spotlight like you'd expect Adam to try and do considering his egotistical attitude.

Adam fucking sucks at keeping his mouth shut and he sucks at lying. He nearly blew the secret out of the bag once, this time, Sera is the only one who tries to stop him and to be honest? Lute looks a bit too thrilled at it. He knows he fucked up, but he doesn't think it's a big deal that anyone would know. For fucks sake, they've already condemned souls, his progeny, to suffer. What's the big deal if he kills them?

I have to re-iterate what's happening here. Charlie is proud she caused this chaos, that she caused these angels to fight amongst themselves, even if in this case it's a good thing. But, this is like history repeating itself to Adam, the reflection of his ex-wife, entering his domain, causing strife among his people, being happy about it.

And the venom he expresses when it comes to the 'liar' portion, god Alex Brightman destroyed when he got to this portion specifically. There is some vehement disgust in his tone when he says liar.

Adam isn't a good person now. But, I think he used to be a good person. By all means, Adam himself could've been the first murderer when his wife made her mistake. He, at one point in time, had to have been good enough to foster civilization itself with Eve. Both good and bad. Adam's original purpose was to be fruitful and multiply. Ordained by god (or maybe just angels) himself, divine power directed and created him to fuck. He didn't chase his ex-wife down, he was given a new one, Lilith was allowed to leave. When he left things alone, when he tried to move on, his ex-wife and a scorned angel destroyed the paradise he was in with Eve. He had to struggle and toil, he had to feel shame in his own body. He had to find out his first born son was the first murderer. His second son killed. We don't know if this is going to be canon in the story, a lot has changed, and if Adam is the first soul who reached heaven, then what did happen to Abel? Was Abel considered a sinner? Or did Cain kill Abel after Adam had passed? Either way, he had to witness his children kill, he had to watch his descendants behave in a range from saints and monsters. He's seen genocides, he's seen famine, war. Adam is desensitized to the plights of his descendants. Maybe he even saw it as a duty to cleanse the universe of their existence at one point, because they were his responsibility.

At the end of this episode, he is properly scolded by Sera and does seem ashamed of himself. He isn't huffy, he is reminded that he should be ashamed of acting that way.

I love Lute's enthusiasm, she's absolutely brutal when talking about Vaggie and with how she handled Vaggie. I think it's funny that Lute is so brutal she's even made Adam uncomfortable. It's cute that he's made uncomfortable by the excitement and all he does is tell Lute, the premier hype woman over here, to chill. She's so proud of herself too, look at her.

He fully expects these exorcist bad bitches to go in there and fuck shit up. But, you know it's hilarious that he's throwing horns? This dude, this angel. First human soul in heaven, loving rock n' roll, the devil's music, and throwing motherfucking horns. It's poetic really. I think we can probably assume where things are going.

Now, this is the first point we've seen Adam being a real piece of shit to Lute. I don't think Adam likes it when people think he's too dumb to notice something, especially something so damn obvious. This is such a drastic moment of vitriolic, uncontrolled anger directed towards Lute. Adam knows he isn't the brightest tool in the shed. He likely knows he's obtuse and misses shit. It's why he sucks at lying, he knows he's not smart. That is why I think he's afforded women opportunities to direct him without fighting back against their advice and their choices. I'm sure Lilith made it obvious how dumb she thinks Adam is. I'm wondering if this might be where their ground breaking fight might've come from. Who's to say he didn't allow Lilith to take the lead, or listen to her like he's done with Lute here and now? Perhaps to an even greater point? He listened to Eve and ate from the fruit of knowledge and he was punished for it. Being seen as so dumb he can't formulate a simple fact is a sore spot for him.

Adam is incredibly powerful. It took a bit out of him to exercise that power, probably because he's out of practice just like Lucifer said. At one point, he probably wasn't so sloppy and weak willed. He's gotten lazy. Sloth like.

I think it got real personal here. How viscerally and personally he attacked Charlie. No one but Charlie truly thought sinners could be redeemed, or that they were even worth it. Not even one of the original sinners. Maybe he never considered the possibility, maybe what happened really did make him see the world as black and white to cope with that happened to him, his wife, his children. Charlie's desire to fight this idea would destroy the foundation for all of his coping through the years. He stopped seeing them as family, even though he's grandiose about his founding role in humanity. Does that itch the guilt that may lurk under the surface?

I don't think Adam thought much of Charlie at all. I don't think he had any intention of coming to kill her in the beginning, despite seeing her, despite who her parents were. But, I think with the constant push, with how eager she was to disrupt the pre-conceived idea of order, it reminded Adam and reflected her parents so much, he was eager to kill her for revenge against them. I think this electrical interference on the mask is a direct reflection of sin. Namely, wrath, in this moment.

Now, this. THIS. Is something that made me want to write this whole fucking essay. Is Lucifer implying that he not only gave Eve the Fruit from the tree of knowledge, but FUCKED HER TOO? Homies, I'm sorry but holy shit. That is some hydrating tea. I'd be pretty pissed too, fucked over twice by women who were supposed to be literal soul mates, who you were made for, who were made for you?

I knew he would have a goatee, I could almost hear it. I gotta say, I'm a sucker for how he looks. I think he's hot. He is a bastard, but so are a lot of the hot dudes in this show. It's just a theme.

This exact series of lines prompted so many of the thoughts that I had about Adam and why he thinks or acts the way he does. At one point, Adam did have to work himself to the bone and learn to survive from scratch alongside Eve. He isn't entirely without cause to not think that he deserves some respect or recognition from his descendants.

But, that doesn't give him the right to act like god himself. It's... well... Blasphemous. Isn't it? One of the worst sins is to think yourself to be worthy of worship, as if you're a god.

This is the moment that gave me empathy for them both. You could probably see the kind of loving person Adam could have been at one point with how he looks at Lute, even as he's laying there, dying. He's not crying like a bitch, just looking at Lute softly. Lute screaming for him, screaming his name. They cared for each other deeply.

And this... and this.... and this. WHAT DEAL DID YOU MAKE, LILITH? Did you make it with Sera? Did you make it with Adam? Did you make it with Lute? Did you really just want a little 'vacay' away from the hell you helped create? Left her husband, depressed and lonely. Left her daughter without any care or guidance. Maybe Alastor was sent in her place, perhaps? Seven years since he was seen after all, but why wouldn't he show up sooner if Lilith did care? Did she make a deal with Lute and Adam? Did she let Adam smash it so she could stay in heaven? Did Lute let her stay in exchange for getting Adam out of a position of power? Or was it maybe Sera who commissioned Lilith with a deal? Either way, I'm in full belief that it wasn't Adam's idea to move the extermination day up. I think he's a patsy, a scapegoat. I think Lute may have been manipulated, potentially, into manipulating Adam into this position. Was it even really Adam who came up with the idea to do the exterminations? Or was he the one who simply decided to fight originally because he was told heaven was at risk due to Lilith's rising power? The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions. I think it could be any number of these. Either way, Lute certainly does think she had authority over Lilith. Is it Lute just having hubris? Or is Lilith truly bound, just like Alastor, Husk, and Angel Dust?

Of course, now that we know a soul can be redeemed... and we certainly know that angels can fall. I don't think this will be the last we see of Adam.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #adam hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #eve hazbin hotel #lilith hazbin hotel #lilith morningstar #character study

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inkskinned · 1 year

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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

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