#i don’t know for sure if I’m autistic yet but I’m figuring things out
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at what point does a hyperfixation become a special interest when you have both adhd and autism?
#i don’t know for sure if I’m autistic yet but I’m figuring things out#austism questions#adhd questions
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Worried Thoughts
Mihawk x gn!reader
Summary: he thinks you’re afraid of him, but really you feel more comfortable here than anywhere else. If only you could figure out how to explain that.
Content: fluffy cozy piece. Just a hint of romance. Reader is autistic.
Warnings: reader is somewhat insecure about their autistic traits.
A/N: Couldn’t get this idea out of my head, so I’m sharing with all of you. It’s been a long time since I wrote any fanfic so I might do more, I might not, we’ll see. Story is based on live action Mihawk with some inspiration from the little bit I know about the anime. Enjoy!
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He’s frustrated with you.
He doesn’t let it show. Mihawk is too controlled for that, too stoic. Besides, you’ve come to learn the look of casual disdain he wears is for everyone, not just you.
But he’s still frustrated with you.
You can see it in the little things. The slight furrow of his brow. The way he watches you over his book. The long, drawn out sips of wine.
It’s the things you’ve learned to look for after a lifetime of having to watch and analyze and try so hard to fit in. A lifetime of trying to be normal.
Around Mihawk though? You don’t feel that need so much.
It’s why you let your eyes drift away from his intense, piercing gaze. It’s why, though you’re still afraid to let yourself stim too much or let too much excitement shine through when a special interest topic comes up, you do let yourself chew on your lip. And sometimes, when you catch yourself rocking because the silence is just a little too much, you don’t make yourself stop.
But still, he doesn’t quite understand it. He thinks you’re afraid of him.
You should be. Honestly you’re not sure why you aren’t. He’s the worlds greatest swordsman. He’s probably the most powerful person in all the seas. He wears that power like a cloak, holds himself in a way that warns people to step away. Step back.
You saw it in the village last week, when he had you sail with him to a nearby island so you could help pick up supplies. Folk recognized him and feared him.
To be honest, you thought he would leave you behind there. After all, he has no reason to keep sheltering you. It’s been a month since you washed up on the beach of his own gloomy island, a month since you barely evaded the monsters that live there and found your way to his door.
He let you stay, and you figured it was because of how pathetic you looked at the moment. A shipwrecked survivor on the brink of death, looking more like a drowned rat than a human.
It’s not that you’re actually pathetic. You’re not weak. Or at least not too much so. Honestly, you can hold your own against most folk back home, and you know how to sail a small ship just fine. Or at least, you thought you did.
That storm wounded your pride and has you questioning your seafaring skills.
The point is, you can take care of yourself overall. Though, you quickly learned after you first set sail a few years back that being the best in your village means nothing when so many folk out there are as powerful as gods. Competent or not, you’re nothing compared to the great warlord.
So why did he let you stay? Why was it, when you were getting ready to turn and walk away after setting foot on the village island, he handed you a small crate of supplies and said to not fall behind? Why was it he let you get back on his ship and sail all the way back here with him? 
You haven’t asked him yet, because you’re a little afraid that maybe he’ll change his mind. You’ve come to like your life on this isolated island.
But you’re getting away from yourself again. Letting your thoughts drift. It’s been a week since that village visit and now you still sit within Mihawk’s vast and rather chilly castle, hyperaware of his piercing gaze digging into your head.
“You don’t need to be so afraid of me.”
His voice makes you jump, and you realize that you’ve been rocking where you sit as you stare at the book in your lap.
“I’m not,” you manage. “I…”
Your eyes latch onto the book. You’ve been reading it for a couple of days, but you’re having trouble focusing today. Whenever you look at the words, it makes you think about how yesterday you launched into a long analysis of the adventure genre and how it really is such a shame that people don’t appreciate this book as much, since even though it was one of the first of its type there’s been so many books that have built on it since that now it seems almost predictable.
Mihawk didn’t seem bothered at the time, but now you look back at it and you’re sure he must’ve been annoyed, or at the very least bored. You’re still kicking yourself for not taking the time to check his expression when you went on that endless monologue.
“You act afraid.”
You take a quick peek out the corner of your eye, watching as he casually sips from his wine glass. Firelight flickers across his face, lighting up those vivid eyes and casting a golden hue across his dark hair. He’s not looking at you anymore, but you know that he’s still aware of everything you do.
When you find your attention catching on his chiseled chest, you quickly force your gaze away.
“You are a warlord,” you say, trying to be teasing.
“An astute observation.”
“I’m not afraid of you though.” You close your book and with it close your eyes, trying to find the right words. Trying to get them all untangled. “I… I just don’t like eye contact. With anyone.”
“I see. That is reasonable.”
It’s not the response you expected. You’re used to people judging you when they learn how are you are. You’re used to people underestimating you and assuming the worst.
You glance back up at Mihawk, then quickly away to the fireplace instead. “I’m not very good with people,” you continue, “It’s not that I don’t like them, but I don’t always understand the rules of society and stuff. And I don’t always do things the way other folk do.”
When you peek back, he’s lifted a single eyebrow. You blush. Surely he’s already noticed that. Surely you’re being silly as you explain the obvious.
“The rules of society do tend to be rather boring.”
The way he says it, so straightforward as if it makes all the sense in the world… you feel relieved giggle bubble out of you.
“I suppose you really aren’t afraid of me then,” he says, just the slightest twitch forming a smile at the corners of his lips. He tilts his head slightly, then adds. “I was thinking about your theory yesterday. It was… Intriguing.”
Something flutters in your chest. A feeling that you never really thought you’d have for somebody so dangerous. Joy. Excitement. Perhaps even some infatuation, if you’re being honest with yourself.
His castle might be vast and chilly, but it’s also comfortable. And you’ve come to truly enjoy these times where you sit together in front of the fireplace, simply existing near each other. You’ve come to enjoy just being around him. 
“Would… would you like to talk about it more?” You can’t help the hope that creeps into your tone.
“That would be pleasant.”
And so, you finally let that wall down just a little further. You let yourself start talking without holding back, let yourself feel comfortable.
When he rises from his chair and walks to stand closer to your own, his hand just barely brushing your shoulder, you let yourself feel a little bit at home.
#Mihawk#mihawk x reader#dracule mihawk#one piece mihawk#Help im so in love with this character#autistic!reader#proofreading I don’t know you
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Hi ! Idk if im doing this right, its my first time sending a request…
Anyways, I loved ur autistic!reader x Oscar fic and i was just wondering if you could write more about them :)
I would love to read something about how she would interact with the other drivers / how they would interact with her!
If you don’t want to write that then you don’t have too! I love your writing and would love to read anything you post <3
Have a nice day, bye 😊
Grid Encounters
Oscar piastri x Autistic!reader
Genre: Fluff
Request: Yes, and with the amount of people who want to see Oscar and his Autistic partner, I will potentially make this a series:). Also, I'm still open for requests
Summary: Shenanigans on the grid take place when Oscar and his girlfriend are there
Warnings: idk I don't think there is
Notes: Trying a new format, let me know what y'all think!
Masterlist
It didn't take long for some of the drivers to catch on
Others were completely oblivious
Oscar and Lando both found it incredibly entertaining when she struggled to filter her thoughts
Her opinions and comments about things making them laugh hysterically
When someone told a joke she didn’t understand and gave them a blank stare, the reaction to them was funnier then the joke.
Oscar always swooped in to save her
Explaining what everyone found so funny in a way that made it all click for her
Max became close with her easily
She listened intently every time he started Maxsplaining or info-dumping
It was obvious to her when he was joking
He appreciates her laughing at his jokes
Charles is absolutely clueless
The two often staring blankly at the other
No thoughts, head empty
Until they figured out their shared interest in music
Then they wouldn’t shut up
Lando appreciates her tastes in food
Specifically the lack their of
Finally he could go out to eat with someone who understood him and his pickiness
Much to Oscar’s dismay
Daniel is very sweet with her
He tries his best not to shout in her ear and if he knows he’s going to be loud he’ll make sure to warn her
He gets defensive whenever someone gets insensitive
He’s always ready to tell someone off if they aren’t listening to her and what she’s saying she needs
Lewis was always wanting to know as much as possible
Learning to help make people aware of the hurtful stereotypes
It was refreshing to see and she openly answered any questions he asked
The reporter and journalists on the other hand, had yet to learn their lesson
It became a game among everyone who was regularly in the paddock
A game they called “which journalist would be getting a blunt answer today”
They always wanted to know why she did the the things she did
In which they would either receive a blunt and unfiltered answer
Or a sarcastic remark
“Is this the new style?”
“Sure. But I just find it comfy.”
“Do you ever get annoyed by things around the paddock?”
“That’s a stupid question. Don’t you have a degree for this stuff?”
“How do you and Oscar celebrate?”
“We party really hard. Drink a lot… of water. Lay on the floor. I’m always exhausted after.”
Speaking of the floor
She had a habit of always being on it
She determined that some floors were better then others
Oscar loved to indulge in her experiments
Rating every floor she was willing to lay on
They once were judging to tarmac on the circuit
Other drivers were doing track walks
Eventually they joined in
The journalists were confused at why half the grid was laying in the ground determining if they could sleep on it
It was a nice change, being around people who didn’t label her and accepted all of her quirks
Oscar was glad she felt at home around the paddock
He loves her for who she is
So seeing her smile about her environment and being accepted into his grid family made him smile too
#x reader#fanficion#f1 fic#formula one#max verstappen#formula 1#racing#lando norris#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x you#oscar is baby#oscar piastri#fluff#mclaren racing#mclaren#mclaren formula 1#Charles Leclerc#daniel ricciardo#autism#autistic reader#formula racing#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#max verstappen x reader#autistic#redbull racing#Oscar#piastri#op81
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let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo
this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.
this goes into a few things
1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol
2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.
3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol
vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)
unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.
i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.
it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.
just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that
but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims
remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible
1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.
2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)
3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that
one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo
(look at him and his magically floating glasses)
sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.
the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.
i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)
anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.
this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.
yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels
this is the conclusion i promise
to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…
autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.
if you actually read all this WOW thank you
#i almost considered not posting this on a wednesday but then i wrote everything and uhhh yeah i think i gotta so#happy cringe day wednesday#for as many notes as i have on these characters i really don’t talk about it much#but meta knight is a special case because i am terrible at subtlety and he wouldn’t be meta knight without it#so this is to contextualize some things#because of what ill have in the next few days haha#basically these are just things i consider when writing meta#but a lot of it is subtextual and i dont know how well it comes across#kirbyposting#kirby#meta knight#headcanons#autism headcanon#this is practically an essay lol oops#i have like 2/3 of a fic that explores most of this in a way i probably won’t do again#but we’ll see if i ever finish it#god kirby concepts are so fun to chew on#i overthink everything i make so much lol
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What do you think of autism memes like people referring to it as “the ‘tism” or the “autism creature”?
Personally I dislike them because I feel they are infantalizing me or trying to make me sound cute and uwu when I’m not.
A lot of level 1 autistics seem to like the memes like this but I haven’t really seen any perspectives on them from level 2 or 3 autistics (which I think you said you are? Unless I’m confusing my blogs again) hence this question
Hi anon! Honestly, I really dislike it sometimes. If the person is joking around then sure, I can joke around about it too! But I feel like some people have been using “tism” and the autism creature to downplay autism, or make it fun and quirky.
I feel like as someone who is heavily disabled by their autism, it’s hard to see people constantly making a joke about their autism. Yes, I can and do joke about my own autism. But really not in the same way a lot of high masking low support needs people do.
It feels…infantilizing at times. To constantly have my autism and other peoples autism downplayed and turned into something that is fun and quirky and “cute” is demeaning, and stressful. I want people to realize that no, autism isn’t all fun. It isn’t quirky. It isn’t cute. My autism is violent, my autism is gross, my autism isn’t fun. It disables me. It makes it so I don’t shower for weeks at a time. It makes it so I have violent meltdowns. It makes it so that I elope. I want more people to realize that.
Do I think the autism creature is cool and cute and a good mascot? Absolutely. Do I think people could handle it better? Also absolutely. Most of the people that I see that turn autism into a cute and quirky thing are young teenagers that are newly diagnosed or are self diagnosed. And that’s fine! They haven’t yet experienced life. They’re still figuring things out. I understand that.
Sorry for this being such a late response! I know this has been sitting in my inbox for awhile. Also, I’m not level 2 or 3, I’m medium support needs and wasn’t diagnosed with a level.
I hope this helps answer your question and I hope you have a lovely day!
#zebrambles#autism#actually autism#medium support needs#actually autistic#yippie#yippie creature#autism creature#tism
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So figuring out blue lock’s timeline is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, since there’s only like a vague idea of it
Fun thing is, we can use Sae to help us know how much time passed in the first to second selection
Because Sae, when the manga starts, is 17, according to the wiki
But during the second selection, he’s 18
Sae’s birthday is October 10th, so the first selection most likely happened in September and took like somewhere between 1-3 weeks, give or take a few days
(Side note: but on the topic of Itoshis, Rin’s birthday is September 9th
And if bllk starts in September, then this kid is freshly 16)
The second selection, if I’ve done my math properly, takes only like, 10 days at the most, so depending on when in October it starts, we’ve either crossed into November or we’re just about to cross into November (all we know is that it starts post October 10th, so we don’t have the exact time)
The third selection doesn’t take long at all, I’d say like 2-3 days, given that we only see Isagi sleep like, once in that short arc (ignoring the day before where they spend time figuring out who’s team to join, I think of that day as like a limbo between the two arcs)
U-20 game, obviously, is a 90 minute game
This happens over one day, leading into the break, where we get two of my favourite chapters of the boys just fucking around and being actual teens for a day-
But this means that’s we’re firmly in November for the NEL arc
What does this mean? Nothing really, I just like analyzing shit and makin timelines
(And Hiori is my favourite, and his birthday is November 30th, so he’s gonna be 17 soon, so when that happens, we’ll get an even more firm understanding of the timeline)
So I’m not sure how long the NEL has been going on for yet, but we’re slowly approaching the end of November I’m guessing based off my completely non-professional math and simply having way too much going on in my brain because I’m autistic about bllk
#bllk#blue lock#emmie rambles#I’m bored in class so I made this#it’s not a very clear timeline and I’m sure there’s errors here and there#to account for things like 2nd selection#and I didn’t mention the limbo between 1st and 2nd selection#but yeye
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thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it
1. how many works do you have on ao3?
185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190
2. what’s your total ao3 word count?
556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee
3. what fandoms do you write for?
literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol
4. what are your top five fics by kudos?
ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!
i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically
mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts
he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way
does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war
this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one
5. do you respond to comments?
i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue
6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD
7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.
8. do you get hate on fics?
oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀
9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?
yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.
10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.
14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?
klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.
15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.
16. what are your writing strengths?
dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.
18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.
19. first fandom you wrote for?
i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.
20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?
oh i am my own target audience. i have several.
i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.
what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.
when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty
he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time
the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other
ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it
if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves
the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows
thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!
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@margotdanslebois very sweetly tagged me in a “share a bit of your WIP” thing. Thank you for the tag! It was so nice that you thought of me!
As for who I’m tagging back: I will tag back @sflow-er if they’re up for it!
I’m going to break the rules because my life is a bit of an unmitigated disaster right now. This isn’t so much Work On Progress as it is Work On Hold until I can get unblocked enough (and have put out enough life fires) to finish Heart and Homeland and my Nils-August one shot. Which I really do want to work on.
For the last few days I have been longing to lose myself in reading a fic that doesn’t exist yet—something multichapter about Sara and August getting back together ten years or so in the future, with a lot of character study powering it and some grown up scenes. Also some great side plots with the other characters! And—importantly—it’s written by someone else, because I know I can write my own stuff but due to my aforementioned disaster life, I kinda just want it to… magically appear on AO3 one day for me to read. We all have those days.
So anyway, sargust is on the brain and sargust is what the people will get, and it will be more than a line, but I’ll cut it so you don’t have to see it if you don’t want to.
The scenario: ten years in the future, more or less. Our favorite five have all gotten various levels of therapy and gotten diagnosed with things and worked on various family relationships and such. They all are at the royal summer residence at Solliden this weekend for… reasons. In a month or so the Swedish people are going to vote on whether they want to abolish the monarchy or not. August is struggling with more grief but you won’t see that in this excerpt. Sara works for an autism charity that’s trying to clean up their image by… actually hiring autistic people. It’s annoying for her but she hasn’t figured out how much it’s messing with her yet. Also she’s just moved back from the west coast. Content note: there are some very subtle references to self harm.
“Wille’s here, right? And your brother and Felice?”
“They went to the beach.”
“You didn’t go with them?”
Sara shakes her head. “I didn’t feel like wearing a bathing suit.”
There’s a flicker of—something—on August’s face, and it isn’t the same as the questioning eyebrow twitches her colleagues make when she has to bring up Hillerska. Sara tries not to read the flicker as concern. She smooths down the skirts of her knee-length sundress. The friction of the cotton against her skin only stings a little bit.
“It’s only that bathing suits get wet, and they cling, and it feels awful when you’re sitting on the beach,” Sara says. Realizing she could have led with a more practical reason, she pulls her open laptop off the coffee table and sets it on her lap. “I’m also working remotely today.”
“So am I,” said August. “I can find another room—“
“That isn’t necessary,” said Sara. “I could—””
“I’ll work outside.” August gestures toward the double doors that open out onto the balcony. “So I won’t disturb you when I need to move around.”
“And I’ll stay here, so I won’t bother you when I do the same.”
Sara feels the corners of her mouth twitch into a smile. Clearly, her mouth is responding to the absurdity of the moment. To the comedic—romantic comedy? surely not—fumbling of two twenty-somethings with ADHD masquerading as proper adults.
“Good. Good. Great.” Single syllables, the last two in English. August’s own smile goes through flashes of brightness and panic before he settles on the sheepishness of a boy who’s been reminded of his manners. He tucks his hands behind his back. “Welcome to Solliden, by the way. You can let me or the staff know if you need anything.”
He nods and exits out through the double doors, and just like that, Sara becomes a royal guest. Perhaps one of the last royal guests ever, if last week’s polling data means anything. She hopes no one will interview her for a documentary about it in the future.
There’s a farcical moment two minutes afterward where August sticks his head back in and says he’s forgotten his sunscreen, and Sara hands him the bottle before he goes out again. It’s a brand she’s never seen before—something ridiculously expensive and high SPF. Fragrance free, too. Sara can’t help watching through the windows as August rubs the sunscreen onto the back of his neck and onto his exposed forearms. Can’t help wondering if she’d have rubbed it in for him, admonishing him like you know you burn so easily, if they’d had their summer weekends in Bjärstad during his military service like he’d wanted.
Still, Sara hadn’t wanted it, then, and that thought should be enough to push herself back into fifteen minute stretches of newsletter edits and donor emails. Sara reminds herself of her bosses’ talking points: that PuzzleChildrens’ oldest donors appreciate the paper copies of the newsletter they receive each month, that the personal stories of lost children remind them where their money is going, that Sara is doing so well at communicating with people and that she shouldn’t worry too much about creating a perfect product, only one that reaches people’s hearts. She opens up a colleague’s story about a pitiable single mother in Luleå called Maja, whose eleven-year-old daughter Saga has been “stolen” by a serious disease. The colleague is older and touchy, so Sara phrases all her line edits delicately. What she really wants to type is: Don’t call meltdowns “tantrums.” Of course Saga has empathy, she loves her dog and she probably feels that very deeply. And for fuck’s sake arm flapping isn’t a “babyish gesture.”
But no. She can’t respond like that. Not with the amount of money these newsletters raise, not when her older colleagues don’t know things, and she was the one hired to educate them.
Sara thinks that maybe, the cotton of her sundress would be better if it were rougher. If she could run the nail of her index finger across her hip and it would hurt just enough to remind her how to communicate with people at work so they don’t think she’s a freak.
Eventually Sara’s phone buzzes with an incoming text, pulling her out of her thoughts. Do you want something to drink?
It’s from August. Sara looks up, and he’s still outdoors on the balcony. He glances in Sara’s direction and offers her a stiff—but not unfriendly—wave. The glass between them is impossibly clean, probably scrubbed this morning by the staff at Solliden.
Sara texts back. I don’t want to trouble you too much. Are you having something?
Seltzer. There’s a local brand that just launched, they do one with an elderflower and pear infusion.
August makes a face at his phone (Sara’s still watching him, it’s that twisting expression his mouth sometimes makes when he’s embarrassed himself, like he’s gotten an unexpected taste of sour candy) and types a follow up.
It’s less pretentious than it sounds. You can have what you want though. We’re well-stocked here.
Seltzer sounds good, Sara responds. I’ll have that, thanks.
As August comes back indoors and presumably goes off somewhere to fetch staff who will then fetch the seltzer. Sara doesn’t comment on how inefficient it all seems—what kind of sister would she be, she thinks, if she didn’t leave things open for Simon to snark about later?
Thinking of Simon reminds Sara that he and Felice and Wille still haven’t returned, so she checks her other text messages after clocking out of work for the day. There’s a text from Felice saying they’ll be another two hours or so, that they’ve driven off to a farm with the best strawberries and rhubarb on Öland so that Felice can use them for some sort of tart in a late-night anarchic baking spree.
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some modern lu au (i need to figure out a shorter name for this) info while i wait for that poll!!
ages in this modern au so far (tentative to change, depending on if their gonna be bio or adopted brothers)
time is 27, warriors is 25, twilight is 23, nearly 24, sky is 21, hyrule is 18, wild and legend are 17, four is 15/16 (i haven’t decided yet), and wind is 14.
time is one of those older siblings that didn’t love the responsibility of the oldest so didn’t really act like the oldest or help around a lot when he was younger and as a result, warriors was sort of considered the oldest for awhile (wars sometimes jokingly refers to time as his younger brother)
when they were younger, (think like 4 and 6) warriors and twilight fought a lot over stupid things they would be the siblings that fought multiple times everyday but were completely fine again after a few minutes. (time swears that they fought more than the twins and that they were the troublemakers when they were all younger but none of the younger brothers believe them)
time is either gonna be dating or engaged to malon <3 (all the boys love her, though some were originally apprehensive)
the twins, wild and legend, are both the cooks in the family, though wild enjoys cooking more while legend enjoys baking. wild likes cooking more because it gives him more freedom to mess around and test different things out while legend likes baking because it tells you exactly what to do and when to do it.
the twins are basically the opposite of one another in that way, wild tends to just go wherever seems cool while legend likes to know exactly what to do and when to do it.
they both love hyrule to no end, if the twins had a fight more often than not you’ll find one of them with hyrule and the other with sky.
sky is dating sun, he (and his brothers) is childhood friends with her (and her younger sister dot). sky met sun at a playground when they were 5 or 6 years old where sky was too scared to go off a tall slide and sun pushed him down. they’ve been friends ever since.
four met for through sky and sun and they’re best friends. (totally platonic guys, sorry to the four/dot shippers)
wind is the subject of being babied by his brothers as the youngest. no matter how old he gets he will almost always be babied.
wind and tetra are friends, they are also rivals, but they would definitely punch a kid in the face for the other, no questions asked.
i wanna have wild and legend be autistic (most of them honestly), but i don’t wanna accidentally portray them wrong so i’m not completely sure on this yet, same with adhd. (if ya’ll have any tips i would love to hear them!!)
okie that’s it for now!!
#linked universe#lu time#lu warriors#lu twilight#lu sky#lu hyrule#lu wild#lu legend#lu four#lu wind#lu modern au
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WIP Questionnaire
Rules: answer as many (or as few) questions as you’d like!
Thanks @kaylinalexanderbooks and @illarian-rambling for the tags! This one seems like a lot of fun :)
What was the first part of your WIP that you created?
For the Seven Stations, I created Belladonna, Cassie (although her name was actually Cass for a bit) and the general concept of “stations floating in the void” all at once chilling at a bus stop going “I want to write space fantasy.” Belladonna and Cassie were created as “stuck-up noblewoman (actually being abused) and her rude (but actually not a bad sort) bodyguard who hate each other and are in lesbians about it.” The stations came about because I went “wow I don’t want to write about planets I just want to be on a ship” so I structured the world so I could just do that.
The Pirates’ Roost is a fanfiction so I started with that. I think the first independent thing I came up with was Amelia’s wife and Malcolm’s husbands. Then Malcolm’s tragic backstory (which slowly got worse, sorry Malcolm). Then Julian and Finley as the first major OCs.
If your story was a TV show, what would the intro song be?
The Seven Stations would probably call for a custom space-opera-esque orchestral piece. Somewhere between “ball music” and “Star Trek theme song.”
The Pirates’ Roost - well the theme song I currently have for it is Sea Shanty Medley by Home Free, but the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song would also suit well.
Who are your favourite characters you’ve made? Why?
Seven Stations it has to be Stellaris. He’s the world’s sweetest most awkward autistic nobleman who’s trying really really hard and still keeps screwing it up (relatable). I love writing him - he’s so blunt - and he’s always so earnest. For later books, Septimus and Shen are two of my other favourites, but I haven’t talked about them that much.
For the Pirates’ Roost, it’s Tatum. I love them. Tatum is probably the most dysfunctional individual on Ixalan who’s been through so much shit and keeps going through so much shit and everyone hates them. They’re trying really hard but every circumstance is stacked against them and also they’re dying, so it’s not going too great.
What other pieces of media do you think would share a fanbase for your story?
Hmmm this is a hard one. I feel like “fantasy space lesbians” might grab some of the Locked Tomb fans for Seven Stations but I know they’re pretty different outside of that. I’m not entirely sure yet?
The Pirates’ Roost is fanfiction so I’d hope some of the Magic: the Gathering fanbase would be interested :). Also the Our Flag Means Death fandom might get some interest because gay pirates
What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?
Honestly, with the Seven Stations, mostly actually writing the thing. That and trying to keep the story aligned to an actual plot and not just meandering to do all the cool things and forgetting why I’m here. I think I’ve done a pretty good job :)
With the Pirates’ Roost, pinning down some of the characterization has been surprisingly hard. Malcolm was difficult to get consistent. Also figuring out how to post it in something readable - I still don’t know if I’ve achieved that.
Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!
The Seven Stations have bees. That’s literally the only animal on the stations. They’re exclusively used for farming. They’re absolutely vital to the stations’ ecosystem but they are not plot relevant lol.
The Pirates’ Roost has a lot of animals - there’s a side arc about a kid who, among other things, really wants a pet dinosaur - but I have to focus on Francisco. Francisco is a very intelligent Ixalani Black parrot who was rescued from the hold of a smuggling ship by Malcolm. He’s basically Malcolm’s therapy animal - Malcolm lavishes affection and attention on Francisco as a way of coping with his own neglect and abuse over the years. He also inadvertently trains Francisco to spy for him by teaching him the question, “Who said that?” There is an incident where a deckhand cuts Francisco’s primaries and Malcolm sneaks into their room and shaves them bald, including their eyebrows.
How do your characters get around?
On the Seven Stations, within stations, they get around through walking and elevators. They travel between stations and ship cargo via shuttles. There is also a generation ship they encounter briefly but it quickly gets stranded.
In the Pirates’ Roost, other than walking (or flying if you’re Malcolm), it’s pretty much all ships. Sailing ships are the only practical long-distance travel. The Sun Empire rides dinosaurs sometimes though!
What part of your WIP are you working on right now?
Draft 1/1.5 of book 1 of the Seven Station Chronicles! I always do one quick editing pass immediately after I finish a scene so drafts 1 and 1.5 kind of happen at the same time.
The Pirates’ Roost is on the backburner but I’m currently posting what I have! Hoping to post Tatum’s first focus short very soon for anyone who’s interested :)
What aspects of your WIP do you think will draw people in?
For the Seven Stations, I’m hoping the novelty of it being all on space stations will get some attention. Also I have a lot of representation in the series, so I’m hoping that’ll catch a few eyes. Besides that, we have enemies/annoyances to lovers, lots of space politics, and cool regency space aesthetics.
For the Pirates’ Roost, well - pirates! Also dinosaurs. Again, lots of representation. Found family, chaos adventures, the world’s most cinnamon roll protagonist, his grumpy but loving boyfriend, and his deeply deeply traumatized friend (whoops they’re all deeply traumatized actually).
What are your hopes for your WIP?
I want people to read and enjoy it! For both of them - I would absolutely love to get even a handful of excited fans, that would be the dream for me. Even for Seven Station, I think I’ll be going down the online self-publishing route but I’d hope to get a few really excited readers! I just want to share my creations with the world and have people like them :)
This was a fun game! @elsie-writes @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @finickyfelix y’all want to try this one out? Questions are below:
What was the first part of your WIP that you created?
If your story was a TV show, what would the intro song be?
Who are your favourite characters you’ve made? Why?
What other pieces of media do you think would share a fanbase for your story?
What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?
Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!
How do your characters get around?
What part of your WIP are you working on right now?
What aspects of your WIP do you think will draw people in?
What aspects of your WIP do you think will draw people in?
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I realized that I haven’t posted abt this yet therefore u wouldn’t know but
I 100,000% believe that near is an autistic agere
he’s like 17 when he’s taking down Kira I believe and this guy is playing w toys and making noises like “vrrrrooom!” while he plays
Although yes I do believe part of the toys were a visual representation for him, us, and the ppl around him, I also think that he truly did enjoy playing w his toys outside of that.
and it would make sense! Near is sumone who’s constantly had to be mature and responsible, his whole life is and was “being the next L”, he basically never got that much of a childhood cuz of it.
I think most of his team knows, especially those whose been around for a while (I.e. anthony, halle, and gevanni) and he most likely has a “play room” in his offices and/or bases. I think he probably only uses the play room during and after he’s having a meltdown or sensory overload and stays there until he calms down, but most of the time if he’s having other issues he’ll go there too, I don’t think he goes there “just bc he wants to play” yk? The room is probably all neutrals like the rest of his lil gear bc he finds colors overstimulating or distracting and therefore distressing, and I think he prefers wooden toys the most. I’m assuming he regresses from abt 5 to maybe 12 ish?? It’s a very big age range and he prefers the “older” ages. I think he does get frustrated tho abt being infantalized obviously as an autistic person, so his team has gotten pretty good at figuring out when he’s lil and when he’s not.
He’s been doing it since at least the first time we saw him, if not 11-12 or earlier. He told mello at sum point and mello didn’t rlly like it at first, but after seeing how much it helped him he became way more open to it and occasionally helped out regressed near. Matt didn’t get it at first either and would say lil things abt it, but mello sat him down and talked to him, and after a while he became even more caring n helpful around regressed near than mello was (which absolutely got on mellos nerves and Sumtimes Matt was doing it on purpose lol)
I’m sure other ppl have made other and better posts, but I haven’t thought to look around at/for them bc I figured there wasn’t many other agere death note fans and/or ppl who headcanon near as an agere until recent
ANYWAYS
we luv ageres and lil near and it also makes me very happy as a agere to see a character I relate to especially abt this <33
HAVE A GUD DAYS BABIES ILY BYEEE <33
(side note I have Deja vu typing this out?? N idk y??)
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Why don’t you have your pronouns in your bio? I want to interact with your account but as a trans person it makes me feels unsafe if an account doesn’t have pronouns listed. (Genuine question, not trying to attack or anything)
Hello hi :D
I generally take a long time to reply (I choose to take a while so I am not rushing my responses), but I want you to feel safe so I will try and respond quickly
***I tried to respond as a private ask but I think I can't, so my response to anon is under the cut. It is way too long, but I don't want to trim it down and keep friend waiting
^^tone indicators for all of my response is positive and genuine- I am curious and sincere
Thank you for sending this- I love that you are brave enough to ask and I hear you. I'm honoured that you like my account and would love for you to interact with it! I want you to feel safe tho, let's figure it out
Could I ask for advice? I am not yet completely understanding of tumblr or how everything works. I'm not certain what a bio is or where to put it.
I have so far avoided posting a pinned post, or having personal information in my blog description (<is that bio?). I have preferred just having posts- I am also not very comfortable reblogging things yet. I'm not certain how to explain why, but that is the form my anxiety has taken in managing my account appearance. Is it ok to leave it as is?
As far as changes I am slow on that as well, and might take a bit- but again I will try to hurry because I never want you to feel unsafe. You are worth any extent of kindness
So if I may ask- what is a blog bio, and where would I be supposed to put my pronouns? I think others have explained a bit on this but sometimes I don't understand immediately. Is this something that will make people feel unsafe? And may I ask why? I understand if this is uncomfortable, but I always want to be honest and genuine, and learn rather than pretending I know everything. I am autistic and often take a long time to understand things socially. Could not having pronouns be seen as a rejection of my trans friends?
I also have believed they/them to be the sort of default- as a sign of respect for my trans people I say they/them if I am uncertain. I want to help people feel validated with they/them, rather than assume and say something that is not who they are
My pronouns are she/her! :D but I am ok with they/them as normal which is another reason I hadn't put them.
I have several friends I plan on asking for advice on this as well, but I would love advice from your perspective. I want to make sure your concerns specifically are cared for since you asked. If you are ok to go off of anon, could you dm me or talk in replies? I want to learn. Or you could send me asks in anon- but I do not want to seem like I’m telling you what to do, or demand you talk openly if it makes you uncomfortable.
Friend :)
If I have accidentally said something very offensive I am so sorry and please help me understand- I have a heart for you even if words get in the way. I hope I am not defensive- learning and growing and changing are the best parts of life
If anything I said came across as rude or blunt I am sorry- I tell you that is not what I mean and I want to be friendly and light. I struggle with language sometimes (sometimes) which is why I normally take long to respond.
...
Hi friend! I think you are very cool and you've made me happy- now I can learn more :D if I was too intense or seemed demanding I am sorry- I got slightly panicked. I want you to feel heard and safe :)))
I feel secure in my gender identity and would not be adverse to being trans. I have spent so much time searching tho- I enjoy bragging about always having skirts with the best pockets.
I know this post is way too long and I repeated myself- I ramble lol but want to help you feel loved quickly
.
Edit: hate to add more, but hi anon! Many of my friends have come to help me understand more. Thank you for asking- I did not know and love to learn. I've added pronouns, and want to always make changes so people can feel safe. You don't have to go off of anon if you don't want, but if there's anything else I can do let me know. You are so so cool :)))
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Benoit Blanc
I know I’m not the first person to say this (my current feed proves my point) but Benoit Blanc from Knives Out is clearly a Holmes adaptation, and, surprisingly, a lot closer to the canon than some of the more popular ones, since it was more like the book version and not the agreed societal misinterpretation. Here are some of the comparisons I found (I’m going to use Knives Out: Glass Onion for this because I watched it yesterday so it’s still fresh in my memory, but the first movie would work too).
This is probably obvious, but major spoilers for the movie. If you haven’t watched it, please do, it is so good.
In probably one of the most surprising scenes in cinema, James Bond- Benoit Blanc (also know as Daniel Craig) is lying in a bath with a rubber duck, smoking a cigar, surrounded by books and drinks, wearing what I think is a fez (correct me if I’m wrong, and I apologise if I am), playing Among Us. This has got nothing to do with the post but Daniel Craig’s transition from smooth, suave, James Bond to whatever the fuck Benoit Blanc is is inspiring.
Not only is Blanc playing the game, he’s also terrible at it and doesn’t understand it. He’s playing with his friends online, and they mention that Phillip told them he hasn’t left the bath in a week (exaggeration, because I can imagine if that was true he’d literally look like a raisin). Blanc also said that was a hyperbole. There’s a knock on the door, and he shouts for Phillip to open it, then tells his friends that he ‘lose[s] it between cases anyway’ and he ‘might be going insane’. He also says ‘My mind is a fueled-up racing car, and I got nowhere to drive it.’ and ‘I don’t need puzzles or games. The last thing I need is a vacation.I need danger, a hunt, a challenge. I need a great case.’ Phillip shouts out that someone is there with a box, (the puzzle box from before), and Blanc smiles.
There’s too much, there is honestly too much, and it’s his first scene in the movie.
Starting off with the bath thing, that’s already a very Sherlock thing to do. And the fact he was reading and smoking in there as well. I couldn’t get a clear picture of what exactly he was reading, but I could see some Penguin Classics in there, and, going off A Study in Scarlet, Sherlock had vast knowledge of ‘sensational literature’, like horrors, which would be published in those editions.
Because I see Sherlock as being autistic coded, any adaptation of him would be the same. So, him struggling to cope with lockdown, like a lot of autistic people, and calling out someone’s hyperbole adds to this.
There’s the part about him not understanding Among Us, but I’ll get to that.
Then there are the quotes. I don’t think it gets any more obvious than this. In The Sign of the Four, Sherlock says, ‘My mind...rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation. That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world.’. Blanc’s quotes are very similar to this. Sherlock also states that he gives up stimulants when he has work, and it’s not exactly the same, but Blanc was heavily smoking and drinking since he didn’t have a case (not saying he stops when he does, but neither does Sherlock).
I haven’t spoken about Phillip yet, but he is a clear Watson figure. He’s also Blanc’s partner, which isn’t confirmed in the movie but heavily implied. Also, it’s Hugh Grant. Nothing to do with Watson but... Hugh Grant. Not only that, but this is one of the only adaptations which Sherlock and John are together. I never thought it would be an American adaptation with Daniel Craig and Hugh Grant as the couple, but sure.
When Blanc meets the rest of the friend groups, he’s awkward and a bit uncomfortable (autistic coding, again). The friends recognise him and ask him about the cases he was involved in, but we’re only told the names, not the content, similar to the books where Watson mentions past cases but doesn’t elaborate.
Also, the outfit. It’s a stretch but it has to be Holmes inspired. If it was a modern day summer, Sherlock would definitely wear it.
Then, Birdie tries to flirt with him, and he’s clearly very uncomfortable. From what we’ve seen, he’s gay, and I’m not saying that straight men can’t be uncomfortable if they’re being flirted with, but if we compare it to other Holmes adaptations, there’s a similar reaction. He gently tries to reject them and clearly doesn’t enjoy it. When she tries again, he doesn’t know what to do. Birdie only backs off when he says he wears her brand of sweatpants and she realises he’s gay.
There’s also more autistic coding in this, because when Birdie asks what material his shirt is, he answers honestly, and she turns away because she’s uninterested, since she didn’t actually want to know. She’s taken this as a rejection and the end of the conversation. As an autistic person, I have this interaction far too many times.
When Blanc arrives on the island, he is overjoyed at the opportunity and continuously thanks Miles for inviting him. Again, he’s very awkward, specifically about the bags.
Blanc always seems to be confused with the technology on the island, but never afraid. This could sort of be a way of bring Sherlock into the modern age, but him still not being modern, if that makes any sense. Meaning, he lives in the 21st century, but he isn’t from it. So, the way Blanc reacts to technology is similar to how Sherlock Holmes from the books would act if something time travelled him over a century forward. For example, in a scene like the one with the weird stick insect luggage porter thing (?), Blanc is confused but amazed, and isn’t scared, like how Sherlock admirers modern technology but isn’t used to it.
Throughout the next few scenes, Blanc is shown gathering intel about the other guests. Later on, we find out Helen was with him, so he wasn’t alone, but I’m just focusing on the first impressions of it. In the books, Sherlock would usually do stuff like this.
Skipping to the dinner scene, the most obvious evidence is Blanc deducing the entire crime, then being confused when everyone got upset. This is another bit of autism coding, since he misunderstood the situation, thinking he was supposed to solve the case as quickly as possible (which, seems more reasonable) but instead allow the other guests to talk in. When he was asking if there was a prize involved, it was similar to the time Sherlock was requesting a cheque if he solved the case, and the client was confused but agreed, then Sherlock explained it for him (I can’t remember what book this was or the exact details however).
Then, of course, Miles himself mentions Sherlock, saying “As Watson said to Holmes”, then being interrupted by Blanc solving the case. I have no idea what Miles was going to say, because Watson said a lot of things to Sherlock, but again, another reference.
I’m looking back at this and I went into a lot more detail then I expected to, so I’m just going to skip through the other parts. I don’t know, I might add to this later.
Blanc appears as an almost fatherly figure to Helen, and, as seen a surprising amount in the books, Sherlock liked to adopt a lot of his clients (basically all the Violets, etc). In the first movie, Blanc’s relationship with Marta could be interpreted the same way.
He mentions Cluedo at one point, claiming he doesn’t understand it, which wasn’t in the books but (unfortunately) immediately brought BBCSherlock to mind. Also, the Among Us thing, another game you would expect a detective to be good at.
Blanc’s use of metaphors (’It’s like putting a loaded gun on the table and turning off the lights’), his vocabulary and just his general manner is all reflective of Sherlock Holmes.
So, it’s not an exact adaptation, since it has it’s own plot and Sherlock... doesn’t sound like a cowboy. But, it still has the same Sherlockian essence to the Benoit Blanc character.
#wow i rambled#good luck when reading this#its amazing if you got this far#knives out#benoit blanc#daniel craig#Sherlock Holmes#sherlockholmes#Sherlock#ACD
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Movie Quotes
During an event at Fallingwater, I got overly tired and stimmed like crazy. I dropped random lines from the last movie I watched.
To my surprise, Valerie Passafiume stormed out of the living room. She booked it past the stone fireplace like a centipede missing 98 of its legs. Everyone stared at me. Clearly, something I said royally pissed her off, but I had no idea what it could have possibly been.
Tethys Johnson shot me a judgemental glare. “Now, I know you like to think that you're the good guy in your movie, but we can’t all be heroes. Some of us have to be the villains.”
"Are you saying that I'm the bad guy in Valerie’s movie?" I asked. Of course, it's more likely that I'm the weird side character in Tethys’s movie.
Tethys shook her head. “Oh, she made it very clear that you are the bad guy in her movie!” she pointed at me.
The room fell silent. Everybody's still glared at me, even though I had no idea what I did wrong. After a few minutes, it occurred to me that it was probably nothing and Tethys only said what she said for the sake of some sort of appearance.
Valerie had cooled off enough to come in from outside, but I still doubt she was ready to talk. “Euphemia, what you said hurt,” she said, glaring at me.
“I'm so sorry about that,” I said, “I hope you saw Dirty Rotten Scoundrels”
Valerie disgustedly furrowed her brow. “What is that?” she snipped.
“It’s a movie about these two guys who are scam artists, and…”
Valerie waved her hands at me and shushed aggressively. I don't think she cooled off enough to talk just yet. I still don't understand how she’d take that line I quoted so personally.
The whole thing brought back memories of frequently getting in trouble at school for quoting movies.
I don't quote movies the way a “normal” person does. I script. Scripting is a stim where people recite quotes from TV, movies, etc. The person might recite the scripts solely to, and for, themselves. Some autistics can even act out entire scenes on their own.
Scripting can occur simultaneously alongside a conversation, but we don’t intend for the scripts to be part of the conversation itself. The problems happen when people outside the autistic person’s household typically don’t understand what they're doing. Especially when they repeat something inappropriate. And because of this, we have to be careful about what media comes into the house.
I was extremely lucky that many of my teachers understood the words carried no meaning, but sometimes it didn’t matter. I’d still get in trouble for it from time to time.
After getting told off, they’d tell me the consequences and make me promise not to do it again. Then, the next situation arises and I’d say something else. Because they didn’t understand it was a stim, they’d assume whatever consequence wasn’t enough, so they’d turn up the heat. It wouldn’t work, and after a time of bigger and bigger consequences, they’d accuse me of wanting to be a bad person. They would ascribe character flaws such as stubbornness and meanness. It doesn’t end well for anyone, especially me.
Once, it got bad enough that I came within a hair’s breadth of getting restrained. To this day, I am still not sure how I talked my way out of that, but I did. It’s even more impressive when you consider I was 12 at the time.
These days, I am thankfully aware enough to avoid this. I keep a mental inventory of what’s safe to incorporate versus what isn't. Today was the first time scripting something “safe” caused a problem.
Realistically, I shouldn't worry about upsetting Valerie because it probably wasn’t my fault. People can be weird.
I had to get away from everybody else. I exited the living room and went to one of the balconies overlooking the waterfall. Tethys caught up to me. “Hey Euphemia,” she said, “I just want to say you aren’t in trouble.”
I tipped my head to one side. “I’m not?” I asked. That would explain why I had so much trouble figuring out what I said that was wrong.
“No,” Tethys replied, “I went through the same find-fault-with-everything phase Valerie’s going through, right down to the thing that triggered it”
Her comment piqued my interest. “OK, then,” I asked as I leaned attentively, “What triggered it?”
Tethys told me everything. On her eleventh birthday, her dad went to pay for parking at the Lego store in Harrisburg, and he discovered his card was declined the hard way. A trip to the bank "reassured" him that the card was fine and the problem lay with the machine.
The next day, he discovered that things were not fine with the card and he needed to call the bank. He waited on hold for 4 hours before the bank closed with him waiting to speak with a representative. As it happened on a Friday, he had to call them back on Monday.
Come Monday, her father called the bank again. They told him that there was nothing they could do because he didn’t notify them right away, which he did. After an expletive-laden tirade about how they told him everything was fine and how they ignored him waiting, they asked him to see a psychiatrist and come back after being screened for mental illness.
Twelve days later, her dad got an appointment with the psychiatrist, who wrote him a prescription for Cyanex. “Are those cyanide pills?” I asked.
Tethys nodded. “He took the pills that evening and died in his sleep,” she said, sighing heavily. I could tell she still missed her father. “I don't think he knew what they were.”
“He should have recognized something was up when the prescription was for something that sounded vaguely like cyanide,” I responded. I hope what I said didn’t rub her the wrong way.
“Now, here’s where it gets interesting,” Tethys said. She put aside missing her father to explain what happened right before he died, “The night Dad got his pills, I did something that made Dad mad. He said he’d discuss my actions with me the following morning. I never found out what I did wrong because he died overnight.”
“So, your dad died and didn't tell you what you did wrong?”
“Exactly,” she said, “and it's the same thing with Valerie. She did something she wasn’t supposed to and one of her parents died without telling her what she did. all she can do is take offense to literally everything because she’s still guessing what she did wrong.”
I laughed. “I never would have guessed that you went through an offended-by-everything phase.”
“That’s because I grew out of it,” she chuckled. She nervously look back towards the house. “Valerie hasn’t, and I don't think she will.”
@creativepromptfills
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Song of the Sea: Chapter 7: Here There Be Dragons
Chapter warning: child endangerment, communication is 9/10 of conflict
Series warning: explicit smut, alien anatomy (it's a monsterfucker fic, guys), major character injury, grief, canon typical violence, autistic meltdowns, and my terrible attempts at Mando'a
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The buzzing of an alarm and pulse of red lights woke Shiani from her fitful doze in her new overhead berth. She opened the door from within, sticking her head out. "Blinkers?"
Wrecker held up his arms. "Yeah. We broke something coming off Salucemi. We're gonna have to land to fix it. Come down?"
She nodded and dropped into his arms. "What broke?"
"Our capacitor." Echo sighed as Wrecker set her down. "Tech says we have a spare. We're landing on… Ordo Moon, I think he said. Honestly, I'm tired and I was only half listening."
"You work hard, Chainbreaker Echo. Let me help fix it?" She offered. He did look exhausted, and she wanted to prove she wasn't useless. If Tech wouldn’t be the voice to keep her here, she needed to solidify her friendships with the other members of the squad. She
Echo smiled. "You know how to replace a capacitor?"
"I was building my own ship. I know lots of parts… but I don’t always remember names." She nodded. “Just need to see it.”
"You were building a ship?" Omega squealed from beside her.
“I was getting off Kamino one way or the other." She nodded.
"That's pretty clever. Where'd you learn that?" Hunter chuckled.
"Tech taught me. Tech… taught me lots of things. But he still thinks my brain is full of bubbles." She shook her head. “I’m smarter in my own language, I promise."
Echo glanced back towards the cockpit. "What's your own language?"
"Hearts. Siren’s talk by singing, and we feel what the other feels when we do. We only sign when we need to be quiet, like hunting…" She explained, looking up at the blinking lights. "Sometimes it’s easier that way, because you’re never misunderstood… but when someone knows how you feel and ignores it, that’s hard. Frustrating."
Wrecker patted her head. "I want to hear you sing now."
"Later, I’ll sing for you." She nodded as they moved to land. “But first, we fix the ship. It’s your home, gotta keep it safe for you and Baby Mega.”
"The air on this moon is not safe to breathe." Tech walked into the hold as they touched down, offering Echo a respirator. "We only have two, Shiani, so you should remain-"
"I’ll be fine." She grumbled, brushing past him to follow Echo to the hatch. Down her ribs and tentacles, blue light pulsed that he’d only seen glimpses of before. At least the blue rings were gone... She certainly still seemed angry, but Wrecker had been so sure she wasn’t.
He groaned and followed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
Hunter looked at Wrecker. "We've got to figure something out. Omega needs a place to sleep."
"I've got an idea." Wrecker grinned.
"Then get on it." Hunter smiled. "I'll go try to figure out supplies."
"Yes sir!" The kind giant grinned and picked up a crate, heading to the gunner's mount.
Outside, Shiani's gills opened on her ribs to filter oxygen from the inhospitable air. She let Echo boost her into the guts of the ship to find the blown capacitor, the cyborg secretly delighted to both have help and witness the annoyed look on Tech's face when the siren wouldn’t talk to him. Tech had never had to compete for Shiani's attention before. He’d had it, undivided, whenever he wanted since he was child. She always answered his comms, always was there when he visited… Had he taken that for granted?
She passed the broken part out to Echo and pulled the new one to her with a tentacle, freezing suddenly and her blue light going dark. "... Nexu on this moon?"
"No, I do not believe so." Tech huffed.
Shiani poked her head out of the ship, looking around with a pinched expression. “Somethi- eee!” Her words were cut off when something knocked the siren out of the side of the ship, snatching the capacitor from her hands. She tried to hiss and swipe, but the creature flattened her with its tail before she could get more than a cursory glance. It was a very large, reptilian something that took off with their ship part in its mouth, vanishing into the dark.
“Are you injured?” Tech knelt where she’d been knocked to the ground, checking her over when Echo drew his blaster.
“That scaly-thing took the part!” She tried to clamber past him, hand over her mouth. “I’ll get it back-”
“You will not be able to track that creature, nor are you prepared to fight it. We need to alert Hunter.” Tech grabbed her wrist firmly. “You handled the nexu, but that creature eats energy, and will be extremely territorial. You could be hurt.”
Shiani stiffened, looking from him to the direction the creature had taken the capacitor. Every wild instinct in her was screaming to give chase, before it got away. She had to tell herself that things were different on the surface, and the clones knew better. She had to play by their rules, and she didn't even know them until she was told. "Hunter is a tracker… okay. I’ll get him. What… was that thing? So I can explain."
"I believe it was an Ordo Moon dragon."
She nodded, yanking her hand free and darting up the ship steps before he could say anything else that might hurt her already tender feelings. "Hunter? We need a tracker."
"What's wrong?" The tattooed clone stuck his head around from the supply crates, Omega right behind him mimicking the way he walked.
"A dragon took the part out of my hands. Tech said you can track it down, and fight it better than me."
Hunter sighed as Echo and Tech walked in behind her. "You let a lizard steal our spare part?"
"Shiani did try to warn us, but it was too fast." Echo sighed, handing over his respirator.
Omega wrapped herself around Hunter's side. "Can I come with you?"
Hunter looked at her, wanting to say no, but she looked so hopeful… and Shiani had this burden of disappointment radiating off her from where Tech had told her to stay put. "Alright. But you listen to every word I say, deal?"
"I promise." She took the respirator from Tech and followed him out.
Shiani was halfway back up the wall to her compartment when Wrecker caught her. "Hey, can you help me with something? You got more arms!"
"I can help." She agreed, dropping back down and following him to the gunner's nest. He was setting up a bedroom for little Omega, and needed hands to hang string lights to make it cute for her. "This is pretty, Wrecker." She looked up, fascinated with the lights. It reminded her of her string of camp lanterns in the cave; the very first thing Tech had ever given her. She used to lay under those lights and stare at them in the dark of the night, when she missed him most.
Now she wondered if he’d ever actually missed her at all.
"Think she'll like it? A kid should have a bedroom." He grinned.
Shiani nodded. "She will."
"Where do you want your space to be?" He offered. "You're the only other girl on the ship."
"I can stay in the ceiling… I’ll be out of the way." She drooped a little. She wasn't good at concealing her emotions, she'd never had to while living on her own. And it wasn't her people's way anyway.
Wrecker surprised her with a warm hug. "Don't look so sad. And don't hide from everyone, we like you. What's the matter?"
From the cockpit, Tech leaned back in his chair to eavesdrop. He couldn't help it… Shiani had always been cheerful and pleasant. He didn't like the way she'd snatched away from him, or how she'd only spoken to Echo when they were making repairs.
"I’m just… hurt." The siren admitted, and he reached for his med kit.
"That dragon get you?" Wrecker frowned.
"No. Not outside hurt. Inside hurt. Hearts hurt." She explained. "Tech… Hunter said it was his idea to send me away. After all that time in exile, and he was my only friend. It felt like when I got banished… like he didn’t want me anymore." She sat down, hugging her knees. "Tech thinks he knows better… and maybe it is safer far from you guys. But I don’t want safe. Safe is lonely. I want to be here and be a part of Tech’s family. I could keep you all safe, or at least try…"
Wrecker hugged Shiani a little tighter. "Tech always thinks he knows better. Most of the time he's right, but sometimes he's not. You fit with us, so it'll be okay."
"Do you think he doesn’t like me anymore?" Shiani looked up at Wrecker, cuddling back with a heartbroken expression.
"I doubt that. But you might have to talk to him." Wrecker patted her back.
"Ugh, talk. Basic doesn’t have the right words for all this feeling." She grumbled.
"Maybe you can sing, like you said before?" He offered.
Shiani nodded. "I’ll try… I just want things to be the same with him. I was always happy with Tech before, no matter what was happening."
"That's the spirit. How about I make you up a bed in the back by the tailgun? Then you can see the stars. You like those, right?"
"Yes. I love the stars" She nodded, and he hopped down the ladder to go try to pull off a miracle for her and make her feel like she belonged.
In the cockpit, Tech sighed and leaned back a little further, pushing his goggles up his forehead to rub his eyes. Emotions were complicated… but he hadn't meant to hurt her.
When Hunter and Omega returned with the capacitor, Shiani was sitting in a swing made of her own limbs, hanging from the ceiling upside down.
"I chased the dragon down a hole and got the part back! I didn't even have to use Hunter’s blaster!" The girl crowed.
"Proud of you, Baby Mega." A tentacle patted her head. "Wrecker has a surprise for you in the gunner’s seat. Go see, you’ll like it."
Omega skipped off with delight. Hunter gave a wry smile. "She saved my life out there."
"She loves you. She’s a good girl with good hearts." Shiani nodded. "Lights all fixed now?"
"Yeah. We've still got some damage, but we're going to need a more secure landing zone to fix it." He leaned against the wall. "I'd like you to help Tech, if that's not too much trouble."
"I can help." She nodded. "I’ll be your mechanic, if you want. Echo gave me a datapad, I can learn more and faster now, without bothering anyone."
"Good." He smiled. "... you still mad at Tech?"
She flipped upside down, head hanging over the floor a scant inch. "Not so mad… just upset."
"You know he doesn't really want you gone. Once we found out about you, he talked about you all the time. Every time he found something out there, he wanted to show you."
She peeked up. "He talked about me?"
Hunter nodded. “Yeah. Go easy on him, he’s never had a friend that wasn’t a soldier before. And having you here is a big change. Change is hard on him.”
“I’ll figure out how to talk to him.” She said after a long pause that left her non-existent eyebrows scrunched. “This is hard. I don’t want him to hate me, or think I’m stupid.”
“He doesn’t, trust me.” Hunter offered a hand to help her off the floor. She was surprised when he placed a ration bar in her hands. "Now eat and go to sleep. You've got to be exhausted. There will be plenty to do later."
"Thank you." Shiani nodded with a weak smile before going back to the tailgun where Wrecker said he'd made her a bed.
It was a couple thick shock blankets and pillows arranged in a little nest by the window, and the kind giant had even tried to make it cute with some of the string lights like he'd done for Omega. Shiani smiled and sat down on the blankets, taking her boots off and unwrapping the ration bar.
It was chalky and hard to swallow, but she was hungry. After she’d finished it, she pulled up one of the blankets around her shoulders to ward off the persistent chill of space. The stars were just as pretty back here as they'd been in the cockpit… but she liked them better with Tech around.
She heard the other Batchers one by one turn into the bunkroom, leaving their best pilot on duty. Her big eyes were heavy, the need for rest nestled at the back of her neck like a lead weight. Still, something was missing. She'd never turn her brain off if she didn't make up with her best friend in the galaxy; she'd just dream fitfully like she had in the overhead.
Tech was glancing over his maps, deciding the safest place to land the ship, when he heard the door open. Shiani, wrapped in a blanket, padded in softly and sat on the floor beside his chair.
"That is the least comfortable place you could be." He said mildly, as she leaned over and put her head on the seat beside his armored knee.
"Missed you." She mumbled.
"I thought you were upset with me."
"Still miss you." She closed her eyes. "Can I stay?"
Tech sighed, setting his handheld aside and carefully putting a gloved hand on her head. "You wish to stay on the floor?"
"Closest to you." She smiled when he lightly scritched between her tentacles. "That feels nice."
"I am sorry, Shiani. It was not my intention to upset you." He tried not to smile when her ear fins wiggled. "I hope you will forgive me, but it was my intent to protect you."
"I don’t want you to protect me. Or make choices for me, just cause you think they’re best. We could have talked about it together." She opened one eye and looked up at him. “You weren’t even going to say goodbye. That’s not fair, Tech.”
“Would you have agreed to go if I’d spoken to you about it?”
“No. I don’t want to go with strangers just because it’s safer. I want to be with you. It’s the only place I’ve ever wanted to be.”
"What about your home?"
"I didn’t belong there. I didn’t know where I belonged, until the first time you and I looked at the stars together. I belonged wherever you were." She looked up at him with those liquid eyes… and Maker, had she always been so cute? "You’re so smart it makes you stupid sometimes."
"I am exceptionally intelligent-"
"I know that. But you forget other people know what they want."
"And what is it that you want?" Tech's mouth was oddly dry suddenly.
"I want you." She smiled and closed her eyes again, snuggling her blanket more securely around her shoulders. "I want to be wherever you are. However you want me there."
He sat with this admission for a long time, but when he'd processed it enough to try to question further, she was asleep with her head against his knee. He talked himself out of waking her to satisfy his curiosity, slowly stroking her head with his fingertips. "If that is what you wish… then you may stay. For now." He finally sighed.
He hoped she knew what she was getting into… but he wanted her to stay too. Change was challenging for him and dangerous for her, but she'd picked him. That meant something. He'd never had anyone, not even his brothers in their bred-in loyalty, pick him and only him before.
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I’m trying to figure out if I’m autistic so had a couple quick questions-
Is it possible to subconsciously script? For example, I consciously script what to say when I show up to an appointment/anything I should bring up/etc. But I don’t consciously script a whole conversation for small talk that inevitably happens. I don’t think about it in the moment if it’s a short back and forth (longer is a different story), but I’ve realized that I tend to say a lot of the same things that I had purposely memorized in the past (short responses like “it’s no problem” or “take your time” etc). I figured those were polite things I’d picked up/learned over the years but I’m not sure if, in an autistic setting per se, this could be subconsciously masking after actively trying to memorize in the past?
And that goes into my second question. I see a lot of autistic people online say they constantly analyze a conversation as it’s happening. If a conversation goes on for a while, then yes, I do this (and get overly aware of eye contact/body language/etc). But short-term, I usually don’t overthink it as it’s happening besides a couple stray “why did i say that” or “i rambled too much there” after I say something, and can maintain eye contact etc without thinking about it for a few minutes before I get uncomfortable and start timing how long and when I should make it/how my body should be positioned to look like I’m listening.
Sorry if this doesn’t make sense! I keep going back and forth about it, and since autism is such a broad spectrum I really can’t tell what would count as neurotypical or neurodiverse. Like I feel like a lot of the traits for me are “sometimes” and not “all the time, constant” so that makes me think I’m not autistic. But I also very much don’t fit in with people, which could also just be anxiety and neurotypical social awkwardness.
In any case, I really like your blog because it really makes me think if I relate or not, and either way I’m learning more about autism. So thank you for sharing your (and posting others’) experiences!
hi 👋🏼
i very much relate to this actually, especially the subconscious scripting and eye contact
i agree with you that the subconscious scripting is simply just go-to’s that has been put into your brain enough times for it to stick
as for the ‘analyzing conversations’ thing, i am the same way with becoming hyper-aware of my expressions and physical reactions (especially with eye contact) only after a few minutes of conversation
it’s like there’s a timer of the amount of time i can stay fully in-touch with the person talking to me, and once it runs out there’s nothing i can do to stop it
also, i know i’ve said this a few times before, but considering that you are autistic—and considering how autism essentially affects you in every area of your life,—basically everything you do counts as an autistic trait or behavior
and when it comes to whether you relate to certain autistic traits or behaviors, i guarantee you that a lot of these things that you don’t think you experience, you probably actually do, but it’s so subconscious that you aren’t able to recognize the similarities just yet
and thank you very much for your kind words ❤️
i’m very glad that something that started as a safe space for me has turned into a safe space for tons of other autistic people as well 😊
#thank you very much ❤️#autism#autistic#actually autistic#asd#autism spectrum disorder#on the spectrum
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