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fartfather · 1 month

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Audience of One pt.3

Satoru x fem!reader x Suguru

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

Word count: 6.5k

Series Summary: When Suguru first walked in on you and Satoru having sex, it was an accident. But he couldn't say the same about every time after that. He's under the impression that this habit of his is a secret. But you and Satoru have known this whole time and didn't plan on letting Suguru know anytime soon.

pt.3 Info: MDNI 18+, fem!reader, PiV sex, unprotected sex, voyeurism, threesome/throuple, cuck Gojo, hair pulling, morning sex, squirting, praise/degradation kink, spanking, begging, pet names (princess, baby, love, etc), established relationship w Gojo, aftercare, basically 90% porn 10% fluff, Gojo teaching Geto how to fuck you, Geto is no longer shy

pt.1 pt.2 pt.4

˚₊ · »-♡→ I know I said I'd post pt.3 yesterday, but I panicked and rewrote like half of it (oops lol). BUT- I'm much happier w this version 🛐

Also not sure if this would be a good place to end?? or if more parts would be wanted ¿ I would be more than happy to turn this into a series and I even have a pt.4 in the works, but I also don't want this to feel dragged on yk. Please lmk your thoughts because I am incapable of making my own decisions (ノ ° 益 °) ノ

Early hours of the morning came, and the first one awake was Geto. He looked down at you and his breath caught in his throat.

You looked so peaceful.

So angelic.

He couldn't help but press a soft kiss to your forehead.

His mind wandered to last night and he smiled. Everything was perfect. The feeling of your bare body was warm and inviting, and having you pressed against him sent sparks down his spine. Geto had never felt this way before.

He could get used to this.

"Hey," a sleepy voice whispered from beside him, startling him out of his trance.

Geto turned to see a very disheveled Gojo looking at him through half closed eyes, "Hey,"

Gojo’s attention shifted to your resting figure, still curled up against Geto's chest. He couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face.

"She's really out," he whispered with a small chuckle.

"Yeah," Geto replied, "we wore her out."

"Damn right we did," Gojo smiled proudly, "I'd like to see how long it takes to wear her out next time," Geto's eyebrows raised at the mention of a 'next time.'

Seeing the surprised expression, Gojo smiled and reached over, and landed a playful punch on Geto's shoulder, "I meant it when I said you're welcome anytime- In fact, I was thinking, would you want to do this again? Not just the sex, I mean, I that part too, but like, all of it. Hanging out and stuff," he clarified, a hint of embarrassment in his voice, “It just seems like there’s good chemistry between us,” he added trying to explain his reasoning with a gesture that circled the three of you.

Geto thought for a moment, contemplating his answer.

Last night was the best night of his life. And he didn't want it to end. He wanted to be able to feel your warmth against him again and again. To be able to see your beauty, and to experience all the joy and happiness that came along with it.

The events of last night unlocked something deep within him. His desires had surpassed mere lust, and turned into something more. Something deeper.

Something genuine.

And with that revelation, Geto decided to take a leap of faith. "I'd like that," he replied, a bit of nervous enthusiasm coming out in his tone.

Smirking, Gojo nodded and moved to brush stray pieces of hair out of your sleeping face. "Great. Well, I guess we'll have to have a real conversation about this once she's up," he nodded down at you, "but for now, we should probably get some more sleep."

"Yeah," Geto nodded, a smile creeping onto his lips.

With that, the two men fell back into a comfortable slumber, their arms gently wrapped around you.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

A few hours later your eyes began to flutter open, thick with blurriness from the heavy sleep you were just in.

Once your vision cleared, you were met with the sight of Gojo's sleeping figure beside you. His hair was a mess, sticking out in every direction. The sunlight was peeking through the curtains, casting a glow on his bare skin.

Turning to your left, Geto lay fast asleep. His features were relaxed, and his mouth hung slightly open. You couldn't help but admire his beauty.

You couldn't believe how lucky you were. Laying between these gods that walked among men.

You didn't want this moment to end.

Lifting yourself slightly to yawn and stretch, you accidentally hit Geto in the face, waking him. "Oops- I’m so sorry!" you giggled and flashed him an apologetic smile.

"It’s okay, beautiful," seemingly unphased by your elbow making contact his forehead, he smiled, leaning down to press a kiss on your cheek, “Good morning,”

The gesture was unexpectedly warm and sweet. Not that Geto had never been sweet to you before, but this just felt… different. Like it carried a new weight behind it.

You smiled and leaned into the kiss, "Morning," you murmured back, your voice still laced with sleep.

Geto's heart skipped a beat at the sight of your smile. He just couldn’t get over the warmth you radiated.

You felt a hand slide up your side and rest on your waist. "And what about me?" Gojo pouted.

Turning to face him you placed a soft kiss on his lips and mumbled into it, "Hello, baby," He hummed in satisfaction and scooted in closer, not wanting to leave even the slightest gap between you.

“How did you sleep?” Geto asked while massaging your neck that was tense after the events of last night.

"Mmm, so good," you replied, letting out a small sigh as the tension left your shoulders. You could practically feel the aches melting and your muscles turning to malleable putty under his touch.

"I'm glad," he smiled, continuing to rub his thumb into the knots of your skin.

"And you?" You asked, turning to look at him.

"Wonderfully," he smiled, his hands not stopping their massage. You couldn't help the way your cheeks heated up from this simple interaction.

God, his man was truly a treasure.

Gojo watched the interaction and felt a warmth spread through his chest. He liked seeing that you brought out Geto's soft side, and he knew that you enjoyed it too. The three of you stayed like that for a few minutes, silently enjoying each other's company.

Then, Gojo let out a dramatic sigh, and broke the silence.

"Hey, so," he started, looking between you and his friend, "Suguru and I talked earlier," Your brow furrowed at the tone in his voice. He sounded nervous.

Perking up, you raised a brow at him, "Oh?" You questioned.

"Mhm, we had a very productive conversation," Gojo continued, "while you were asleep," he clarified, "and, we think that, well, we- um, the three of us should hang out. Like, outside of sex. Or during. Or after. I mean- not like a requirement, just an option, if you're comfortable," he rambled.

You blinked.

Your face twisted with confusion as you tried to process his words. "Toru, what are you talking about?" you questioned, needing clarification.

"I want to date you too," Geto cut to the chase, his voice surprisingly steady and confident, "you would be with both of us. At the same time."

You stared at him.

Your brain was blank.

You breathed out a surprised, "Oh," The thought of it was interesting and foreign, though, not unwelcome.

"Only if you're comfortable with it," Gojo quickly added, "we know it's a bit... unconventional."

"A bit?" you asked sarcastically with a small laugh.

Gojo laughed and nodded, "Okay, a lot," he admitted, "but, we talked, and we agree. We want this," he said, motioning between the three of you, "Geto has clearly developed something for you, and vice versa. And I figured what better solution than adding Suguru to our relationship?"

You sat in silence for a few moments, mulling over the situation.

"It wouldn't be weird to you?" you asked Gojo with a concerned expression, "sharing me with your best friend?"

"Not if it's Suguru," he replied without hesitation, "we know each other well, and I trust him with my life. Plus- if it was, I would have never been able to enjoy the sight of my best friend eating out the woman I love, right?" he added with a teasing smirk, referencing the events of last night.

Your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, "Satoru!" you scolded.

Gojo laughed and pulled you in for a quick kiss. "It's true," he whispered against your lips.

Turning to Geto, you gave him a questioning glance, "And you're okay with this?" you asked, wanting to make sure he was certain.

"Yes," he answered without a moment of hesitation.

"You would really want this?" you questioned, "It wouldn't be weird for you?"

Geto let out a chuckle, "I wouldn't be offering if it was weird for me. I'm not going to lie, it's a little unconventional," he stated, "but, I would love the chance to be with you- even if it's not the traditional way," his confession caused a wave of butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

You thought for some time. The two men waited patiently, knowing that you would need a few minutes to process everything.

Assessments of the situation swirled in your mind. You loved Gojo and the life you had with him. And you wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. But they both seemed so certain. They said they trusted each other, and if that was the case then why shouldn't you?

And on top of that, you couldn’t deny how Geto made you feel. Last night was clearly more than a one time deal. It was deeper than just sex, it was intimate. The way he touched you and admired you all night had chills running down your spine from just thinking about it.

The more you thought about it, the more appealing the idea became.

Being able to be with both of them was a dream come true. They were both kind, generous, and made you feel like the most precious thing in the world.

"If you aren't comfortable with this-" Gojo began, but was quickly cut off.

"I want to," you said quietly, "but what if something goes wrong?"

Gojo and Geto exchanged a quick look and burst out laughing.

That was certainly not the response you were expecting when airing your worries. "What's so funny?!" You asked, a bit irritated that they were laughing at your valid concerns.

"Baby," Gojo chuckled, "have you not seen the shit we've been through together? We'll be fine.”

Crossing your arms in defense you Looked between the two of them, "But still- What if you guys get jealous, or something goes wrong and we stop talking, or- or-"

Pressing a finger to your lips, Gojo silenced your anxious ramblings, "Shh, baby," he whispered sweetly with a reassuring smile, "We've got each other's backs. Plus, I'll kick Suguru's ass if he makes you upset," he joked.

Geto laughed and nodded, "I'd do the same," he added, causing a small giggle to slip past your lips.

You gave them an unsure smile, "I know you say that nothing will happen, but what if something does?" you countered, looking between them for an answer.

Gojo took your hands in his and looked you dead in the eyes. "Nothing will go wrong," he said, his voice now serious and full of promise.

"I'll make sure of it," he stated, a fire in his eyes, "Suguru will too."

A heavy sigh escaped your lips and you turned to Geto with a silent question in your eyes. "I'm not gonna let either of us fuck this up," he affirmed, reading the concern behind your gaze.

"We want to make this work," Gojo added, "And besides, do you really think I would put the best pussy of my life at risk?" He squeezed your side, making you let out a giggle.

You gave him a playful shove, "Shut up, idiot,"

"It's true!" He laughed and caught your wrist, pulling you in and placing a kiss on your temple.

"He's right though," Geto smirked, "last night was the best experience of my life. And that’s saying a lot considering I didn’t even fuck you."

Your cheeks heated and you let out a flustered laugh, "So you're in this for the sex, is that what I'm hearing?" you teased, poking Geto in the ribs.

He caught your hand and pulled it to his lips, planting a kiss on your knuckles. "No, sweet girl, its more than that." he said, looking down at you with a tender smile, "I'm in this for you- you know that."

The way his tone softened and his eyes gleamed was enough to make you melt.

And without wasting another moment you looked between the two men and nodded, "I'm in," you stated confidently, "if the two of you are."

Both their faces lit up at your confirmation, and the smile on their faces was bright enough to blind a person.

"Hell yeah!" Gojo cheered and wrapped his arms around you, "we're gonna make this work," he said, placing kisses all over your face. Geto smiled and joined, littering kisses down your neck.

And just like that all previous worries were melted away from the tingles that rippled across your skin after each new kiss. You giggled and melted into both sets of arms that caressed and embraced you gently.

Slowly, their sweet kisses began to get more rough. More hungry.

The way their hands roamed your body and their lips nipped at your flesh sent a spark of excitement through you.

"You're gonna be all ours, aren't you, princess?" Gojo purred into your ear.

A small whimper slipped past your lips as his breath fanned your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "Mhm," you hummed, your eyes becoming heavy with lust.

Geto's fingers traced your collarbones, moving further down and stopping just above your breast.

"And I'm gonna take such good care of you, give you everything you want," Geto promised, "you're mine too now."

His possessive words sent a jolt of heat straight to your cunt and you arched into his touch.

"Yours," you mumbled, too drunk off their affection to register what was being said.

They both let out satisfied hums.

Gojo's hands slid down your body, his fingertips grazing your nipples, before resting on your waist. "Our perfect girl," Gojo murmured and pressed a kiss to your shoulder, "you're so beautiful."

Geto's fingers dipped down into your cleavage, squeezing your breasts gently, and his lips found yours. "So obedient," he mumbled into the kiss.

You whimpered against his lips. The feeling of their hands all over your body and their praises filling your ears was intoxicating.

"Mm, fuck," Gojo groaned, grinding his erection on your ass.

Gasping into the kiss, your eyes widened and turned to him "Satoru," you whined.

"Shh, Princess," he shushed, his hands gripping your waist, "be a good girl and keep kissing Suguru while I play with you,"

Your breath hitched, but you nodded and turned back to Geto, who was looking at you with a dark lust in his eyes. And instantly, Geto's warm lips were back on yours. They felt soft and plump, like velvet pillows, and you couldn't help but melt into the sensation.

"Good girl," Gojo praised, his hands moving further down your body.

You whimpered when his hands came into contact with the bare skin of your thighs, his touch sending chills through your body.

Gojo leaned down and planted a kiss on your shoulder, then continued peppering kisses along the sensitive skin of your neck, "We're gonna keep you nice and happy, baby," Gojo promised, the vertebration of the words on your neck tickling you lightly.

Your mind was blank. All you could do was moan and let them explore your body. Geto's tongue was slowly swirling around your own. His movements were slow and gentle, taking the time to savor the feeling.

Rocking into Geto's thigh, you chased the pressure, hoping it would satiate the throbbing in your cunt.

Geto's grip tightened on your tits and he pulled back slightly, just enough to break the kiss and allow a string of spit to hang between your mouths. "This desperate already?" he smirked, his thumbs rubbing circles into the hard buds of your nipples.

"Always," Gojo smirked, "she's such a needy little slut,"

You whined and rolled your hips, the need between your thighs growing more apparent with every passing moment.

Geto's eyes flicked down to your mouth, which was parted and breathing heavier, then back up to your eyes. The sight made his cock twitch, and his gaze darkened, "Fuck, that's so hot," Geto groaned, his dick already hard. His hands moved downward to your hips, gripping to hold you still, "Be patient for us, princess."

Gojo continued his kisses along the length of your neck, his lips brushing against your skin, sending goosebumps up your arms. "She loves hearing us praise her," Gojo smirked, "she's always so desperate for any sort of validation. Drives her wild,"

The truth in his words made you whine and looked at Geto, who was staring down at you with lust-filled eyes. "Is that so?" He asked, his hands moving to cup your face.

"Yes," you breathed, leaning into his touch.

His attention turned back to Gojo, "And does she like to be degraded too?" He asked, curious, but already knew the answer.

Gojo opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off from a whimper that escaped your lips. You bit your lip, cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you avoided their eye contact.

A mischievous smirk formed on Geto's lips, "Oh?" He tilted your chin up and looked down at you, "Look at me," he demanded.

You did as instructed, your heart skipping a beat when you met his gaze.

"Tell me," he began, his thumb running over your bottom lip, "do you like being treated like a little slut?"

His question caused a rush of heat to run through your body. You could hear the blood rushing in your ears, and you could swear that your arousal was now dripping onto the sheets beneath you.

Gojo couldn't help the chuckle that slipped past his lips. Your obvious reaction to Geto's words was adorable.

"I'll take that as a yes," Geto smirked, his eyes not leaving yours as he pushed his thumb past your lips. "Although, I guess I shouldn't expect anything more from the dirty slut who would let me watch her boyfriend fuck her for months."

The humiliation that coursed through you was overwhelming, and yet, you felt more aroused than ever before. You closed your eyes and took Geto's thumb into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the digit and letting out a moan.

You were helpless to the words coming from Geto's mouth, and there was nothing you wanted more than to be completely submissive to him. It was clear to them that this new way that Geto spoke to you was making you dizzy with lust.

"Oh, you like how Suguru is talking to you right now, don’t you, princess?" Gojo smirked, watching your reactions, "He's always so polite, so gentle with you. It's a nice change, huh? Seeing him be a little mean."

You nodded and moaned around Geto's thumb, which was still resting on your tongue.

Gojo was right, you did enjoy the new change. The way Geto looked down at you with a dark glint in his eyes, his usually sweet and caring demeanor nowhere to be seen, was driving you crazy. You wanted nothing more than to be dominated by him.

To be completely and utterly destroyed by him.

"What do you think, princess? Should we have Suguru fuck you? Let him see what a dirty, slutty, cum dump, you are firsthand?" Gojo cooed, his hands roaming up and down your thighs.

You whined, and Geto withdrew his thumb, a string of saliva still connecting it to your lips. "Is that what you want?"

”Please," you begged with an embarrassing urgency, "please, please, please, let him fuck me." you turned to Gojo, who was already beginning to stroke his cock with his free hand.

"Please," you repeated, looking up at Geto with a pleading expression, "I need it, please."

"Oh, you need it, do you?" Geto cooed, "Such a pathetic little slut, begging for my cock, and you don't even know how good I can fuck you," he teased, looking down at you with a patronizing smirk.

You whimpered and looked up at him, desperation clear on your face, "Show me," you begged, "please, show me how good you can fuck me."

The corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk, "Well, since you're asking so nicely," he said, "Get on your back. Now." His demanding voice took you by surprise and you immediately followed his instructions.

You untangled your legs from his and laid back, looking up at him with wide, innocent, eyes.

"Good girl," Gojo praised, sitting beside you. He pushed your legs apart and dipped his fingers between your folds. He rubbed his hand sloppily, for his pleasure only, the goal being to collect your juices. Then, he brought it to his dick, using it to help his jerk off.

"So wet," he said, pumping his dick with your slick.

"Toru," you pleaded, arching into his touch that was no longer there.

"Shh, just sit back and let me watch Suguru fuck you, princess," Gojo soothed, his thumb running circles around his slit, mixing your wetness with his pre-cum.

The room felt like it was spinning around you, and the only thing grounding you was getting touched in the place you needed it most.

Geto positioned himself between your legs and placed his cock on your clit. You could feel the hot, throbbing, length rest on your sensitive bud and it made you shudder.

Geto's hand gripped your thigh and he spread you wider, taking in the sight before him. "God, I'm never going to get tired of that view," Geto sighed.

"Just wait until you're in her," Gojo smirked, admiring your glistening slick rub onto Geto's shaft.

He let out a hum and slid his cock between your folds, coating his dick in your wetness. You moaned, your breath hitching as the head brushed against your entrance.

Seeing how needy you were getting, Gojo moved his free hand down and spread your lips, exposing your dripping hole for Geto's viewing.

"So pretty," Geto praised, his tip prodding at your entrance.

You were soaking wet and more than ready for him, and when he slowly pushed in, a loud groan ripped through his throat as he inched deeper into your warmth.

"Oh, god, so tight," he praised, his hips pausing halfway to give you time to adjust, "so perfect."

Your hands balled into fists and you moaned loudly, the feeling of him filling you up was so overwhelming, but in the best way possible.

"Isn't she?" Gojo asked, leaning in to press kisses against your neck, "you're perfect, aren't you? The perfect little fuck toy for us, and us only- Say it."

As he continued to slowly slide in, Geto kept his eyes trained on yours, not wanting to miss a second of your reactions.

Heat rose to your cheeks under his gaze, embarrassment evident in your expression. "I- I'm," you stuttered, a small whine slipping past your lips before you could get the words out.

"Use your words," Geto commanded through clenched teeth, his grip on your thighs tightening as your cunt pulsed around him.

You whimpered and nodded, trying to collect yourself. "I- I'm a perfect fuck toy," you choked out, a mixture of craving and shame washing over you, "yours- just for the two of you,"

"Fuck- Yes, you are," Geto praised, bottoming out and giving you a few moments to adjust. You whined and clenched around him, feeling fuller than ever before.

After your muscles relaxed, you rocked lightly against Geto's cock, to show you were ready for him. Though, just that small movement had you seeing stars as his tip hit your g-spot.

Your mouth opened in a silent scream and your nails dug into the sheets, gripping tightly.

"Oh, did I find it already?" he asked patronizingly, his voice laced with sarcasm, "You must be so sensitive," You could do nothing but whimper and nod, not being able to form words.

"Fuck, do that again," Geto demanded.

You followed his instructions and rocked against him, moaning at the sensation. "Holy shit," Geto gasped, his eyes rolling back as you squeezed his cock.

Gojo watched with wide eyes, his hand slowly stroking his cock as he watched the scene unfold before him. "How does she feel?" Gojo asked with a chuckle. He already knew the answer.

Geto moaned, slowly starting to roll his hips, "Fucking heavenly," You felt a wave of satisfaction wash over you, knowing that Geto was enjoying your pussy just as much as you enjoyed his dick.

"So warm and tight," he added, picking up his pace, "I could fuck her all day,"

"Please," you whimpered, "fuck me all day,"

A satisfied smile crossed Geto's face, and without a word, he started to thrust into you at a steady pace. You gasped, feeling his cock fill you up with each push. Your walls tightened around him, trying to pull him deeper.

"Fuck," Geto groaned, "Such a greedy fucking pussy, doesn't want to let me go."

You whimpered and wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer. His hands grabbed onto your waist and his fingers dug into the plush flesh. The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, and your moans and whimpers grew louder and louder.

"Mm, look at her," Gojo cooed, "she's so fucking desperate."

"Mhm" you breathed out nodding and looking up at Geto, who was watching your every move. He looked absolutely breathtaking. His hair was a mess, his face was flushed, and his eyes were filled with desire. The sight of him looking down at you like that made your heartbeat quicken.

"You love having my cock buried deep inside of you, don't you?" he asked.

You nodded vigorously, unable to form any words, but the way your hips met his every thrust and the sounds that came out of you told him all he needed to know.

"Oh?" Geto smirked, "You need more? Fucking impatient little slut- You need me to fuck you harder?"

"Yes, please, please, please," you begged, your head falling back against the pillow.

"Such a good girl," he praised, his hand moving to rest on your lower stomach, "such a polite little whore for my cock."

He pushed lightly onto your abdomen while fucking deep into you. The pressure from his hand was foreign and had you squirming and whimpering, biting your lip to hold in your cries of pleasure.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, there! There!" You screamed, "Please, don't stop!"

Geto smirked and leaned forward, "Look at me," he demanded, his voice firm.

Your eyes shot open, not even realizing they had been closed. You stared up at him and his lust filled eyes, a look you had never seen before on his face. The sight made you instantly moan and your eyes began to roll back involuntarily.

"Keep your eyes on me," he commanded, emphasizing each word with a hard thrust.

Your jaw fell slack, and a strangled moan slipped past your lips as pleasure coursed through your veins. "S- sorry," you stuttered.

Gojo groaned and his fist picked up pace, jerking his dick in tandem with Geto's movements. "It's okay, baby, you're doing so good," he whispered, leaning forward and brushing the hair out of your face, "so good for us."

Geto's pace continued and the heat in the pit of your stomach began to build dangerously fast. "Fuck, Sugu- I- I-" you stuttered, struggling to form a coherent sentence.

"You're so close already, aren't you?" He cooed, his eyes not leaving yours.

You nodded, and a loud whine slipped past your lips as Geto's hips started to pick up speed. "Fuck," he groaned, "fuck, you're squeezing me so good, baby,"

"Gonna- Gonna cum," you managed to say through heavy breaths and muffled moans.

In response, the hand on your stomach pushed slightly deeper, and that's what threw you over the edge. The pressure had your toes curling and your back arching upwards followed by a strangled scream on your lips as you came hard.

Your vision went white, and a ringing filled your ears.

"Oh, fuck," Gojo groaned, watching your legs shake and your face display your ecstasy.

"Shit," Geto groaned, "keep cumming for me, baby, just like that- fuck!"

Gojo smirked and leaned back, admiring his two lovers. "God, the two of you are so fucking hot," he said, his hand working furiously to match the pace that Geto was now setting.

You could barely register what he said, too overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure crashing through your body. The warmth from deep in your core had overflowed, somehow finding its release- and soaking everything around you in the process.

Geto moaned loudly and looked down at your pussy, Gojo eyes followed, widening and jaw dropping.

"Holy shit," Gojo breathed out, "She's squirting," he said in awe, "fuck- I didn't even know she could do that."

Your juices were flowing freely, coating Geto's cock, balls, and the bed beneath you in a thick layer. It was as if a flood gate had opened and your arousal was pouring out of you.

"Oh, god, oh, god," Geto repeated, "you're squirting on my cock," he groaned and picked up his pace, fucking you through your orgasm, "so good, fuck- So fucking perfect."

Your mind was blank, all you could do was babble and moan, letting Geto fuck you as you rode out the last waves of your orgasm.

"Fuck," Geto growled, his hips began to stutter. "Go on, Suguru," Gojo urged, nearing his own climax, "cum in her."

Geto looked down at you, the glazed over expression on your face was enough to send him over the edge. With a final thrust he bottomed out and painted your walls with his seed, the sensation pulling a long moan from both of your lips.

You could feel his warmth spill into you, filling you up and coating your walls, and causing a brain numbing tingle to run up your spine.

Gojo wasn't far behind, his own cum coating his hand and abdomen. He pumped his shaft as the last few drops landed on his stomach. "Holy shit," he breathed out, leaning back and letting the orgasm wash over him.

"Fuck," Geto groaned, his head dropping to the crook of your neck. Both of you were completely spent, not even bothering to move or say a word. The only sounds in the room were the heavy breathing and racing heartbeats.

You could feel Geto's warm breath against your skin as he took a few deep breaths. You brought a hand up and gently ran it through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly.

The gesture was simple, but it made his heart melt, grounding him from the high he just experienced.

"That was fucking hot," Gojo praised, "You're both so fucking sexy. I loved seeing you two together."

"So good, my beautiful, perfect, angel," he continued, placing kisses on your forehead and cheek, "you did so well,"

You turned to him and smiled lazily, enjoying the praise. Geto looked up and admired your blissed out expression. "You look so pretty like this, sweetheart," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your cheek, "so gorgeous."

You leaned into his touch and hummed, your eyes fluttering, half lidded in tranquility.

Gojo chuckled and placed a kiss on your temple, "Don't get too comfortable, princess, we still need to clean up."

"I'm not leaving this bed," you mumbled, closing your eyes completely and nuzzling into the pillow.

"You're so spoiled," he chuckled and turned to his friend, "Help me out here, man."

"Sorry, baby," Geto apologized, kissing your nose, "he's right, we need to get you cleaned up," You groaned and nodded, accepting defeat. Geto slowly pulled out and stood up.

"Come here, my sweet, precious, girl," Gojo said, lifting you off the bed, bridal style, "Let's go take care of you."

You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck. "M'kay," you replied, resting your head on his chest. Gojo carried you into the bathroom, and Geto followed closely behind. He sat you down on the toilet and you leaned against the wall, closing your eyes.

Once Geto entered, he turned on the bath faucet and waited for the water to warm.

"Do you wanna use a bath bomb, princess?" Gojo offered, reaching into the cabinet under the sink. "Ooh yes, please," you nodded opening your eyes with a tired smile on your lips.

A bright grin spread across Gojo's face from seeing you perk up, "Okay!" He exclaimed, grabbing one of your favorites and tossing it into the bath.

The sweet smell of citrus quickly filled the air, and the sight of the bubble bath and colorful fizzies had you feeling relaxed like never before.

Geto shut the water off and walked over to you. He knelt down and cupped your cheek, his thumb running over the soft skin. "How are you feeling, sweet girl?" He asked, a small smile on his lips.

You hummed and leaned into his touch, "Amazing," you replied.

He chuckled and kissed your forehead, "Good."

After all of the residue made its way out of you, you cleaned up and Gojo lifted you into the bath. He settled in behind you, wrapping his arms around you, and pulling you back to his chest.

"Is the temperature okay, princess?" Geto asked, sitting in the opposite side of the tub.

You hummed, closing your eyes and resting your head on Gojo's chest. "Perfect,"

"Good, we want you to be comfortable," Geto said, smiling.

"Thank you," you mumbled, snuggling into Gojo's chest.

It was a little crammed and you guys probably should have showered beforehand, but in that moment it was perfect and everything you could ever need.

The three of you had become comfortable and content.

As if that's how things had always been

Gojo was playing with the bubbles and making shapes with them on top of your head, while Geto was helping to wash the sweat off of your skin, his fingertips running gently along the curves of your body.

It felt so normal and domestic, and that's exactly what you had always wanted.

"So, how does this feel?" Gojo asked, reaching behind him to grab a loofah, "Is it weird? Being the meat in a Gojo and Geto sandwich?"

You choked on your breath and your eyes shot open, "Ew! It wasn't weird until you said that! Gross," you said, giggling and shaking your head.

"Yeah, Satoru, why'd you have to word it like that?" Geto asked, chuckling and chastising his friend.

"Oh, come on, don't be like that. It was funny!" Gojo laughed, running the loofah across your back, "Now answer the question."

"No, it doesn't feel weird," you replied, a smile on your lips, "I mean, yeah, we haven't done a lot yet, but I'm happy, and I like being with both of you."

"Yeah," Gojo agreed, "it's different, obviously, but, I'm glad it's the three of us. I love the dynamic, it feels like... home. Like the three of us were always meant to be together. Me and my two favorite people!" He threw his arms around your neck, his hands falling just above your chest.

You looked at Geto and he had the most genuine, loving smile on his face. "I couldn't agree more," he said, reaching out to take your hand in his. His hand was warm and comforting, and the way his thumb was rubbing circles into the skin had a warm tingle running up your arm.

Gojo was right, it did feel like home.

A warm, safe, comforting, home.

It was a strange situation, one that you never would have imagined yourself in. But at the same time you knew that the three of you would be able to make it work.

The three of you stayed in the bath for a little while longer, laughing, teasing, and joking, and eventually Gojo and Geto switched places. When the water began to get cold and the bubbles began to disappear, Gojo lifted you out of the bath and brought you back to the bed.

He gently laid you down and dried you off, pressing kisses all over your skin.

Geto emerged from the bathroom and watched the two of you. He could see how much Gojo cared for you, and how you trusted and loved him. It was a sight that made his heart flutter and he could only hope to have that deep of a connection with you one day.

"You're so cute," Gojo cooed, placing the towel over your head and rubbing it gently.

"Toru," you whined, the feeling tickling your scalp, "you're going to make my hair frizzy!"

"Shhh, let me enjoy this," he chuckled, moving the towel and planting a kiss on your forehead, "I love taking care of you, and seeing you so relaxed. Plus, I think your hair is adorable no matter what, and I know Sugu does too,"

Turning to Geto in the doorway, you pouted and tilted your head to Gojo, "Help me out here," you pleaded.

Geto couldn't help but smile. "He's right, sweet girl," he chuckled, walking towards the bed, "I think your hair is gorgeous no matter what," He pulled you into his chest for an embrace, but then scruffled your hair, catching you off guard.

"Hey!" You yelped, pulling away from him and trying to flatten your hair, "not you too!"

They both let out a laugh. "Sorry, baby," Geto apologized, leaning forward and pressing a kiss on the crown of your head.

"Traitor," you mumbled, earning a chuckle from Gojo and Geto.

"I'm gonna get dressed, I'll be right back," Geto said, reluctantly pulling away from the scene, "then, how about I make us a late breakfast?" You nodded and gave him a small smile.

"I knew there was a good reason to keep you around," Gojo teased, earning a slap on the shoulder from Geto before he walked off, "Ouch! Hey!"

Laughing you shook your head at Gojo's dramatic performance of pretending to be hurt by rubbing his shoulder, "I'm so wounded," he joked, flopping onto the bed beside you, "you're gonna have to kiss it better," he winked with a smirk.

"Maybe later," you giggled, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Fine, fine," he scoffed, rolling his eyes and sitting up.

He smiled as he jumped off the bed and threw on a pair of sweatpants, "Come on, baby," he said, holding a hand out for you, "I'll pick out an outfit for you." You happily accepted and followed him over to your dresser, ready to start your day.

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partially-controlled-chaos · 2 months

Text

New Life Shall Prosper, ch. 1

Pairing: Halsin x Reader (as gender neutral as possible, given the context)

Rating: T? (not really smut but there's some heavily implied further down)

Warnings: There's not full blown smut but it borders on the edge, mentions of illness and pregnancy, mostly just fluff

Summary: Months after the fall of the Absolute, you and Halsin have carved a happy life for yourselves within Thaniel's Realm, making a safe haven for all. A life full of hope and prosperity, only enhanced once you discover the very real possibility that you are with child.

Word Count: 9.2K

an: I've had "Halsin becomes a dad" brain rot going on for a week now and had to make something productive of it. Chapter 1 of a 2-3 part series, depending on how long I make the other chapters because this one ended up being much longer than I originally planned (oops). Follow up to this post.

Read on AO3 here if you prefer!

Find chapter 2 here! Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Masterlist

Soft, gentle rays from the sunlight filtering through your bedchamber window stirred you from your sleep, making you squint as you faced the rising sun. With a deep inhale and a long stretch, you basked in the warmth momentarily before rolling over, expecting to see your lover already awake. Much to your surprise, however, Halsin was sleep in a deep sleep, the occasional snore passing through his lips. It was rare for you to wake before Halsin, who was typically up before sunrise, so you happily indulged in the sight that was the peacefully sleeping druid before you. He had one arm under his head for support, still preferring to rough it as much as possible, and the other lazily thrown over his chest. Very carefully, you slid one leg over his as you partially hoisted yourself onto his chest, resting your head on his sternum to listen to the strong, steady thump of his heart as your fingers traced light patterns across his bare chest.

After the fall of the Netherbrain a few months prior, you left with Halsin to help those displaced by the battle by setting up a new settlement in what was once the shadow cursed lands. He was admittedly reluctant to bring you along when he first broke the news he would be leaving the morning after the brain had fallen, worried he was pulling you from the life you deserved after saving the entirety of Baldur’s Gate as well as the Sword Coast, but there was nothing you could have wanted more. After the excitement and fear that the mind flayer invasion had caused, you craved something more peaceful and idillic, especially by the side of the druid you had fallen in love with. It took some convincing to ease his worry, but the two of you happily left for Thaniel’s realm after saying goodbye to your fellow companions.

The community the two of you had begun to build was thriving. Children and families that had been scattered and broken were reunited or found new families in an area you and Halsin worked every day to build and protect. Despite a century long shadow curse, the land of the area was surprisingly fertile, which allowed for nature to reclaim its hold on the land, much to Halsin’s joy. Gardens were being built, old rotting buildings were being cleared and rebuilt, and most importantly, the people there were happy. There were no harsh politics like the Emerald Grove had when you’d first met Halsin. And, despite being in charge of so many people and children, Halsin didn’t feel the looming weight of leadership like he had when he was Archdruid. Instead, he was much more relaxed and in his element. Leadership wasn’t the easiest thing in the world for him, but something about this settlement was different. And with you by his side through everything, his burdens were much lighter and he was much happier.

Typically, Halsin spent his mornings roaming the community in wild shape, checking for security purposes, but also just enjoying the earliest touches of sunlight as a bear. This morning, however, you woke well before he did, a sudden and violent wave of nausea hitting you before the sun had even crested the horizon. You’d been awake ever since, dozing in a light sleep on occasion, but the lasting twinges of nausea keeping you from fully resting. Those feelings had subsided now and you’d assumed it was just something not settling well in your stomach or perhaps a small stomach bug. As much of an annoyance as it was, you were thankful to be able to glance a peek at your sleeping druid. A decent night’s sleep was not something he got frequently when he was traveling with you, the threat of danger always present, but it always soothed your heart to see him so happy and relaxed around you.

“Halsin,” you whispered as you softly trailed a finger along his chin, “Halsin.” As much as you would have preferred to stay in bed all morning and watch your lover sleep, you knew it was in everyones best interest to wake him for the day. As always, there was much to do in your newly blossoming home and he wanted to be there for every part of it.

“The sun has risen, my love.” You continued your ministrations, tracing your fingers across his features in an attempt to gently rouse him from his slumber. The snoring had stopped, but he had not yet fully woken. Your forefinger gently traced a slow trail along his forehead and down the bridge of his nose, across his lips and back to his chin. You then traced along his eyebrows, over the scars above his eye, and down towards his cheek bones. When he still had not stirred, you placed your finger to the pointed tip of his ear, slowly dragging down along the outer shell and down his neck until you felt his skin prickle with excitement and a low rumble stir in his chest. With his eyes still closed, he brought the arm he was resting on out from under his head and ran his own fingers down your naked back until his hand slipped firmly around your waist.

“You’ll awaken the beast if you’re not careful, my heart.” He said through a smile as he pressed you more firmly to him, relishing in the softness of your skin against his. The two of you never bothered to sleep with clothing; Halsin always preferring to rest without the confines of fabric and you found it much easier to simply sleep naked than to have the druid rip your clothing from you when the mood struck late at night.

“Is that a promise?” You asked softly while running your finger along his ear again, giggling as you felt another shiver run through his body. Knowing the high sensitivity of elven ears, you didn’t toy with his ears too often, but always enjoyed the reaction you would get from him if you managed to catch him off guard. With a low growl, he captured your lips with his, swiftly rolling until you were securely pinned underneath his large frame.

“I could never tire of this.” He said between kisses, slowly moving his lips down from yours and onto your neck, giving the occasional nibble in the process. Your hands traveled along Halsin’s shoulders and up onto his neck before settling into his hair as he continued his way down your neck. Your eyes closed tightly and you inhaled sharply as another wave of nausea suddenly settled in your stomach, threatening to come up and into your throat. You tried your best to fight the feelings creeping up, not wanting to disturb your partners fun, but nothing was stopping the final wave from coming.

You frantically tapped Halsin’s arms to signal him to move, but had to settle for gently pushing him up and away so you could adjust your position. The druid, who had made his way to your collar bones by this point, pulled up from you, confusion crossing his face as he initially believed he had done something wrong. You managed to roll out from under his grasp in just enough time to roll your upper body off the side of the large bed you shared before emptying the remaining contents of your stomach into the pail you’d placed by the bed from your earlier bought of vomiting, just in case. You continued to heave long after anything had stopped coming to the surface, struggling to breathe as you tried to stops the spasms. Halsin’s large hand ran along your lower back as he adjusted his position to come sit beside you as you finished your heaving.

“I’m sorry,” you said after you flopped back into your space in the bed, wiping your mouth with the cloth you’d brought with you earlier, “I didn’t mean to rile you up and then ruin it.”

“Don’t apologize, my love,” he said as he pressed the back of his hand to your forehead, checking for a fever, “Are you alright? How long have you been ill?” His hand shifted to your cheeks, still checking for a fever, but satisfied when he found you to not be unusually warm.

“Earlier this morning,” you said as you closed your eyes as the final waves began to subside, “it must have been something from supper last night that didn’t sit well with me. I’m fine, truly.”

“I wish you had woken me then,” he said as he momentarily left the bed, “I would have been able to help sooner.” You heard clinking in the next room as he dug through his collection of various vials and jars of medicines and herbs he kept on hand.

The home the two of you shared was small and cozy, with both of you preferring to spend time outdoors a vast majority of the time. Although Halsin would prefer to rough it outdoors and sleep under the stars, he was willing to compromise and bed down for the night in a small home with a large enough bed to accommodate for two. However, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see him napping midday outside of the settlement under a shaded tree or patch of sunny grass. While Halsin would always prefer the outdoors, there was something special he treasured about sharing a large, warm bed with you at night in the privacy of a shared living space that was absolute harmony.

“You were too peaceful, my love,” you said with a smile as you remembered the serene look on his face as he slept, “I felt bad enough waking you when I did.” Your eyes opened once again when you felt the bed beside you shift, meeting Halsin’s gaze as he opened the lid of the jar he’d brought with him. Inside the jar were small lightly colored discs of what looked like candy.

“Ginger,” he said simply as he pulled a piece from the jar and popped one in your mouth, “it should help with any lingering nausea. Although, if it persists, please tell me and I’ll see what I can brew for you.” He did you the favor of bringing candied ginger, knowing your tendencies to enjoy the sweeter things natured offered, which significantly cut down on the bite of the root without nullifying any benefits it may bring. Fairy quickly after eating the piece you’d been offered, you could feel your stomach begin to settle and return to some sense of normalcy. Your hand gently caressed his cheek as thanks and he kissed at your palm. It always surprised you that someone as large and fierce in battle that Halsin could be, he could be exceedingly gentle and soft, particularly with you.

After offering your hand one final kiss, Halsin left the jar of sweets with you as he stood again, lazily rolling his shoulders and neck of the last remnants of sleep before preparing for the day. You admired the way his muscles flexed with his movements, the flutter in your heart briefly reminding you on the treat you’d been robbed of earlier when you promptly vomited into a bed pail. Although you were fairly certain it would be made up for two-fold that evening. Keeping your hands off each other was always a challenge, even after the first night you’d spent together all those months ago, but now that you both had settled into a new home that didn’t have danger looming on the horizon every morning, it was even harder to keep to yourselves. You both tested the limits of what your sturdy bed frame could withstand almost nightly, not including the times you’d sneak off into the woods after a long day.

“So tell me,” you said as you sat up, “what’s on your plate for today?��

“I promised the children I would show them more of the realm,” he responded as he poured himself a makeshift bath into the basin seated in the corner of the room, “there’s still much they haven’t been able to explore and now that more of the debris has been cleared, it’s high time they had the chance to see what all they have to look forward to.” Although he much preferred to bathe in a river under the caress of the sun, he was content with a sink bath given that he’d slept in later than normal.

“Will you rest for the day, my heart? I can bring you something to eat around midday if you’d like.” Halsin asked as he began to bath himself down, glancing over his shoulder to await your answer. You smiled as the kindness behind his words settled in your mind. Your lover always made it a point to make sure you were taken care of, even if his schedule for the day was filled to the brim. His gestures and kindness directed towards you were always done selflessly and without the expectation of anything in return, although you always tried to return the favor in some way.

“You’re sweet,” you cooed as you placed another piece of ginger on your tongue to keep another bout of vomiting at bay, “but it’s not necessary. I may get a late start, but I’d like to stop by the market today. The last I checked, the stock of produce was running lower than I’d like to see for how many people we have.” You hopped from the bed and made your way to where Halsin stood, taking the wash cloth from his grasp to gently run across his face to clean any places he had missed.

“Thank you though.” You cupped his cheek when you were done, your thumb ghosting his lips. You wanted to kiss his lips as reassurance, but give you’d just lost the contents of your stomach a few minutes prior you decided against it.

“Are you certain?” He asked, clearly not thrilled with your answer.

You hadn’t been sick in front of Halsin often, the only other notable time being after a bad run-in with a patch of bibberbangs in the Underdark, but even with the most simple of illnesses he found himself concerned for your wellbeing. You knew his concern only came from a place of genuine concern and care. He had often told you how much you meant to him and seeing you in any state of duress, whether it be from illness or threat of physical violence, set him on edge.

“I’ll be fine. I promise.” You slid your hand down from his cheek and settled it on the center of his chest, resigning yourself to a quick kiss between his pectorals instead of his lips.

“Very well,” Halsin softly grabbed the tip of your chin with his forefinger and thumb, tilting your gaze upwards until it met his,“I won’t stop you. But please, my love, come find me if you need me. Send someone if you must.”

“You have my word. I’ll see you at supper.” He rested his forehead against your for a moment as a parting gesture before reluctantly pulling away to fulfill his duties for the day. His fingertips lingered on yours as he stepped away, as if he was afraid to let you go, until he finally let them part so he could dress for the day. You smiled to yourself, already missing the warm embrace of the druid and eagerly awaiting your reunion later that night.

Once the elf had left for the day, you groaned as you flopped back onto the bed, your eyes closing together tightly as you tried to ignore the churning of your stomach once more. Whatever had your stomaching twisting and turning on itself had certainly overstayed its welcome and you were more than ready to return to normal. Although a bit of vomiting wouldn’t stop you from performing your duties around the community, but it made it much less enjoyable. You allowed yourself one more deep breath before promptly rolling onto your side and hanging over the bed, once again heaving into the pail on the floor.

************************************************************************

The air outside was pleasantly warm with a gentle breeze, a stark contrast to the gloom and chill the air presented not all that long ago. As you walked from your small home towards the communal market located in the center of the community, you couldn’t help but feel pride in knowing that the land that had been plagued with shadow for so long was not only bathed in light again, but was absolutely thriving. Although you were not one that required the praises of everyone thanking you for doing your part in curing the shadow, it did feel nice knowing you helped lift the curse. So now, instead of shadow and a place void of life, the area was blooming with nature. Flowers and various amounts of fruits and vegetables had been planted to supplement the wild varieties found closer to the forest. This in turn allowed for a sizable market to be set up for people come and go as they please.

You’d taken it upon yourself to make sure the market stayed stocked, frequently checking in to make sure there was plenty of food for the plethora of hungry mouths that had been displaced after the battle of the gate. Not only was it important to make sure there was plenty of food for everyone throughout the day, but the market was also the gathering point for the nightly supper. You’d found it much easier to feed nine wagons worth of children with one large communal dinner every night than it was to cook individual meals. You took your time strolling the market, enjoying the fresh air and the flowers littering the ground.

However, you stopped in your tracks about halfway through as a rather unpleasant aroma suddenly assaulted your senses and brought back another wave of the nausea you’d finally rid yourself of. You placed a few fingers over your nose and mouth, wanting to block as much of the smell as possible without looking like an absolute fool in front of any onlookers. The smell wasn’t exactly anything putrid or rancid, but it was foul smelling to you and threatening to make you start heaving the town square. Glancing around, you didn’t see anyone else with the same affliction as you; everyone you made eye contact with and gave a strained smile to seemed to be just fine. Not ready to let a foul smell deter you, considering you had ventured in the Baldur’s Gate sewers plenty by this point, you pressed on.

You pulled another piece of the ginger Halsin had provided to you earlier in the day from your pocket and promptly tossed it into your mouth, hoping it would be enough to hold the vomiting at arms length until you had done your duties for the day. It helped a bit, but the urge to heave was strong and pushing your will. You quickly trotted along the stalls of the market, taking a mental note of what was well stocked and what needed to be replenished. For the most part everything seemed to be fine, but you’d feel better if there were a few more vegetables in the bins. With it being midday, preparations for the nightly supper had already begun and it was within those preparations that you finally found the source of the foul smell assaulting your nose.

Large racks of rothé ribs were searing over an open flame, sizzling deliciously as any drippings slipped from the meat and onto the hot coals. Normally your mouth would water over the smells of searing meat, something that had become a treat while you were on your travels, but this time was vastly different. The smell that radiated from the meat unsettled your stomach, making it churn and bile to rise in your throat. Again, it didn’t smell rancid or spoiled and everyone around seemed to be fine, but you were quickly losing your resolve.

With one final glance around the market, you quickly left the area, barely rounding the corner of a nearby wall before you lost everything in the middle of a bush. You prayed to the gods that no one would come to you as you were vomiting, not wanting to answer questions about your illness or, even worse, alert Halsin to your condition. You wiped your mouth on your sleeve once you had finished and resigned yourself to returning home for the day. You were doing no one any favors if you were actively sick and you didn’t want to spread your sickness to anyone else. Surely the community would survive without your supervision for one day.

************************************************************************

The small fireplace in your bedroom crackled softly and illuminated the room just enough for you to read. You’d found an unread tome leftover from your adventures and, having a lack of other reading material to choose from, you were reluctantly reading a rather boring history of some old, forgotten wizard from years past. Not your typical choice of reading material, but it would suffice until your lover returned to you. The sun had long set below the horizon, signaling to you that soon the children would soon be put to bed and the rest of the community would settle for the evening.

By the time you’d begrudgingly read your way through the long winded life story of your wizard, you picked up on the unmistakable stride of Halsin walking through your shared home. From your small living room seated at the front of the home, you heard him call your name as if it were a question. From this, you could tell he’d been looking for you for quite some time. You called back to him, telling him you were in bed and he was welcome to come in.

A few moments later, Halsin appeared in the threshold to your bedroom, ducking slightly to avoid hitting his head on the wooden beam at the top of the doorframe. He leaned his shoulder against the side of the doorway, a gentle smile gracing his lips as he finally set eyes on you. It was no secret that Halsin loved to admire you and you often found him drinking in your form throughout the day; always looking at you with a fond gaze and a loving smile. He stood there for a moment, eyes locked onto you as a pleasant warmth spread through his chest; a mixture of relief as well as love.

“There you are,” he said with a relieved sigh he tried to hide, “I was wondering where you’d gotten off to. I didn’t see you at supper.” Halsin knew you were fully capable of being by yourself, you did defeat a Netherbrain, after all. But, taking your sudden illness into consideration, the healer in him couldn’t help but be concerned. Not that you didn’t appreciate it, of course.

“I didn’t attend,” you said as you looked up from your book, “I wasn’t very hungry this evening so I came home.” While this wasn’t an outright lie, it wasn’t exactly the full truth. The lingering smells of meat from your earlier trip to the market was enough to dissuade you from coming to the communal dinner with the rest of the settlement. Between not wanting to make others sick in the event you were infections and also not wanting to have to endure the suddenly grotesque smell of sizzling rothé over a fire, you decided the best course of action was to simply retire early for the evening.

You noticed Halsin’s expression change ever so slightly as his brows knitted together and the unmistakable beginning signs of concern began to wash over him. By this point, Halsin knew you well. He knew your enjoyment of joining the communal dinners with the displaced citizens of Baldur’s Gate that you now called your friends and neighbors. You were always the first to attend, making sure to speak to everyone there, and always the last to leave to help clean up any mess; a left over habit from your time at camp with your other companions. So having missed the nightly dinner simply because you weren’t hungry? He knew something was off and it was beginning to worry him. That combined with your sudden morning illness was just an added cause for concern.

“And how did our small army of children enjoy the scenery, my dear?” You asked before Halsin could continue to dwell on you. You simply either had a bought of food poisoning or a small bug, nothing major and nothing that was worth causing your lover to fret over.

You extended one arm to him, encouraging him to join you, before shifting your legs down from their bent position and pat the top of your scarcely covered thighs with the opposite hand. Halsin indulged you with a chuckle and he joined you in bed, offering you a loving kiss to your forehead before reclining back to lay his head in your lap and stretch his legs along the width of the bed which, thankfully, was large enough to accommodate his height even from the side.

“Oh, they barely saw any of it.” Halsin said as his head settled into your lap, “An hour into the trek everything turned into one large game of hide and seek. It took me most of the day just to find everyone, not including the walk back home. Then of course it was making sure everyone had a plate of food in their bellies and they wouldn’t let me leave without a story. Silvanus’s grace is the only thing that gave me the stamina to keep up with them all.” He offered a low grunt as the rest of his body settled into the bed. As much as he preferred to sleep outdoors, he couldn’t deny the wonderful feeling a plushly filled bed could offer tired bones at the end of a day.

“Trust me, my love, one thing you don’t lack is stamina.” You offered him a cheeky smile as you mindlessly stroked your fingers through his hair. He offered you a deep laugh, never failing to adore your praises for him.

“I already warned you once about being careful when it came to waking the beast,” he said with a wide smile as his fingers gently pinched at your sides, “I can’t be held responsible if you unleash it, my heart.”

“Fine, fine,” you giggled as you squirmed under his tickling fingers, “I suppose I can let you rest for the evening. You’ve had a long day, after all.”

“I’ve had much longer.” He said as he looked up to you before reaching up and pressing his fingers to your cheeks and forehead once again, “How are you fairing, my heart? Still ill?” Once again, he found no signs of a fever or anything abnormal and returned his hand to his chest.

“I seem to be fine for now. I haven’t really felt anything since the market this morning.” You cursed yourself as the words left your lips. You would have rather kept that little bit to yourself to avoid adding a burden to Halsin’s broad shoulders. You knew he had enough to worry about already and you didn’t want to add to that load. You remember the run down, morally defeated man you’d first met all those months ago and you didn’t want to see Halsin return to that state because you personally added to his burdens.

“What happened with the market?” Halsin sat up on his elbows, his corners of his lips downturned with concern as he locked eyes with yours.

“Just another wave of nausea, love, nothing to worry about,” you stroked his cheek with your hand, running your fingers over his frown lines in hopes they would disappear, “I’m not sure what, exactly, but just the smell of what was being cooked had my stomach flopping around like a fish plucked from the river.”

“Had anything spoiled? Gone bad, perhaps?” His worry had not fully gone, but was beginning to ease under your gentle touch. Instead, his worried look had shifted to one of curiosity; as if he was trying to find the answers to a riddle you had offered.

“I don’t think so.” You said with a shake of your head, “It wasn’t really a bad smell, it just…made me sick? It’s hard to explain. Nothing was wrong with it, I don’t think, but just didn’t sit well with me. Admittedly I don’t think I’ve ever had a reaction like that before, but I left fairly quickly so I can’t say for certain it wasn’t something rotten. Although I could kick myself for leaving so quickly; I wanted to pick up a basket of plums to bring home.”

“A whole basket of plums?” Halsin asked with a raised eyebrow as he settled his head back in your lap. Your eyes returned to the pages of your book despite not picking up on a single word that was laid before you.

“An entire basket,” you said with excitement, “I’ve been aching to sink my teeth into a beautifully ripe plum for a while now, almost insatiably. If I’m feeling better tomorrow I may go out and see what I can find. If my memory serves me correctly, there’s a plum tree not far from here.” You could feel your mouth watering simply from the thought of a purple plum.

“Insatiable, you say?” He said with another chuckle. With his head still seated in your lap, he turned his head to gaze upon you, once again drinking in your features as his body finally relaxed for the evening. He took your hand that was not occupied by the book and placed it on his chest, sighing contently at the feel of your skin so close to his heart as he covered it with his own hand.

“Oh come now,” you said peeking over the edge of the book you’d stop reading ages ago, “don’t tell me you’ve never craved something so badly it almost drove you mad.”

“You,” he almost growled as he leaned up to plant soft kisses on the underside of your jaw, “I had an ever burning desire for you when we first met that only grew stronger the more I learned about you. Not just the warmth of your skin or the taste of your lips, but you, your companionship, and your love. And, truth be told, it’s something I’ll always crave. I can never get enough of you, my heart.”

As he returned his head to your thighs, you leaned forward yourself, planting a series of lingering kisses to his lips. Your heart swelled at his words, your heart still fluttering like it did the first time Halsin offered you a compliment back in the goblin camp. Despite the lengthly time you’d spent with the druid, his praises, words of affection, and heartfelt confessions of love never ceased to have you ablaze with rapidly fluttering butterflies. Your cheeks were left with a slight blush as you finally pulled away, almost wishing you could kiss his lips for eternity.

“And how long has this insatiable craving for plums been going on, my love?” Halsin asked as he closed his eyes, sleep suddenly feeling heavy on his lids as he relaxed.

“Hmm…a few days?” You tossed your book to the side as you thought, having long lost interest, “Maybe a week if you squint.”

His eyes opened quickly, slowly looking around as he entered a deep thought. You could almost see the wheels of his mind churning as you assumed he tried to deduce the cause of your sudden illness. His eyes seemed to lighten as his answer finally clicked in his mind. A long strand of what sounded like absolute giddy giggles erupted from his lips, which were spread wide in a smile that would have threatened to crack his face. You shifted in your seat, eager to find out just what he had deduced.

“My heart,” he said after his giggling finally subsided enough for him to speak, “have you considered that, perhaps, well…no. Never mind. Forget I said anything.” His eyes closed once again and he seemed to have calm down other than the smile that was still plastered across his face.

“What?” You asked impatiently, “You can tell me.” You found yourself smiling along with him; the sight of unbridled joy on his face causing your own lips to curl into an awaiting smile.

“Oh nothing, my heart,” he once again placed your hand on his chest and cover his fingers with yours, “just the ramblings of an old man.” You huffed at his statement. You detested when he would refer to himself as old.

“You are not old,” you said firmly, “we’ve had this discussion before. Older, perhaps, but not old.”

“And I still fail to see the difference.” Halsin said as his eyes opened yet again and his gaze met yours.

“Older implies that while you may not be the youngest elf of the bunch, but you still have plenty to look forward to. Old, on the other hand, implies that you are a hair’s breadth away from dying. And, selfish as this may be,” your voice softened as you began to lightly run your fingers through his hair again, “I’m simply not ready to see you go just yet.”

His gaze softened with your words and another gentle smile crept upon his lips. Gods, how you loved to see your lover smile when he looked upon you. He sat up fully, leaning to the side as he captured your lips in a gentle kiss. One of his large hands came up to caress your cheek, this thumb softly stroking the curve of your cheekbone in the process. You exhaled slowly as your body melted into his kiss, your eyes closing as your hand softly latched onto the collar of his shirt.

“I do not deserve you, my heart.” He said quietly after breaking the kiss. His forehead came to rest against yours, his eyes looking to yours.

“You deserve whatever you desire, my love.” You said softly as he gave you another quick kiss. His large arm snaked around your lower back and pulled you until you were pressed against him. There was no sense of urgency or lust behind his movements, just the soft and loving caress between lovers. Your face nestled in the crook of his neck as you felt his body begin to relax for a final time and enter the first realm of sleep. You sighed contently as you felt the gentle heat radiating from his body and the secure feeling of his arm wrapped around you. You found yourself drifting off to sleep as well, lulled there by the sound of Halsin’s strong heartbeat and soft snores.

************************************************************************

A week had passed and you were still plagued with your mystery illness. Every morning was the same, peacefully sleeping until a wave of nausea so strong woke you from your sleep and caused you to lose everything in the pail you just permanently kept at your bedside. By this point you had considered that maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with the food you’d been eating; surely food poisoning wouldn’t have lasted this long. You’d considered that maybe there was something wrong with the local water source. After all, the lands had been cursed for so long that you would be surprised to find out if there wasn’t some sense of lasting pollution from the curse. However, you also knew very well that no one else had gotten sick and you were the lone soul that had been afflicted with bouts of nausea and vomiting. You had also toyed with the idea that this was some late settling side effect of having a mind flayer tadpole swimming in your brain for some time. The tadpoles were unique so it wouldn’t be too far fetched to find out you had a lifelong affliction because of them.

However, tonight you were awake for a different reason. Instead of debilitating nausea keeping you from a decent nights rest, it was the same gnawing craving for plums that’d been on your mind for weeks. After the incident at the market, you hadn’t returned for fear of the smells wafting around the area making you sick to your stomach again and you hadn’t had the chance to go collect any yourself. You knew that if you asked Halsin to bring you some that he would do it happily and without question, but you were aware with how busy he was and you’d decided that asking him to go fruit picking for you simply wasn’t as important.

But the night was young and you couldn’t sleep. The sun had only set a few hours prior, leaving you ample time left in the night to scamper out to the plum tree you knew of with a basket in hand and fill it to your hearts content. You could snack on a few on your journey back home and slip back into bed without waking your slumbering lover. You rubbed the small bit of sleep from your eyes and gently lifted Halsin’s heavy arm from atop your midsection, quietly placing it on the mattress below as you crept out of bed. You threw on the first discarded shirt and pair of trousers you could find, not caring if they were wrinkled or even matched. You weren’t expecting to see anyone on this little trip of yours and wouldn’t be gone long enough to justify a well thought out outfit.

You slipped out of your home silently, being sure to close the door with a soft click before setting off on your impromptu adventure. Although your settlement was secured and safe with no real threat of danger, you carried a small knife in your belt line, just as a precaution. You had no intent on using it, but it was a small token of safety that was left over from your tadpole days. It could also come in handy in the event a particular plum was too stubborn to be plucked from the tree. You were determined to have your fill of the ripest plums you could find and you would not be set off course because of a vine.

The walk to the plum tree was quiet and peaceful. You could hear the soft chirp of crickets in the distance and the low song of frogs floating in the air. Torches scattered around the realm illuminated your path out of the town square and into the forest, which you followed in no great hurry. You couldn’t help but observe everything you and Halsin had built together as you walked, feeling a sense of pride and tremendous joy when gazing upon your shared efforts. These lands which had once been filled with a century long curse of darkness, shadow, and decay were slowly coming to the light. You could understand why Halsin called the fall of the shadow curse the happiest and greatest moment of his life. Seeing new life sprouting from what was once dead was truly a miracle. And the chance to see Halsin so free and unburdened was certainly one of the high points of your own life.

The cool dew settling on the grass licked at your toes through your sandals as you first stepped into the forest, a set of chill bumps grazed your skin like a wave that quickly disappeared. You lazily strolled through the trees, taking your time but also trying to find the correct tree through the darkness of night. Thankfully, the moon was full and exceptionally bright, making it easier to see your surroundings. Eventually, you stumbled across a tree with low hanging branches and much to your delight, was filled with the richly colored fruit you’d been so long craving.

You bit your lip in excitement as you approached the tree, setting your basket down at the base as you set to work. Plenty of branches were well within your reach and you could simply pluck the fruit without having to go to the effort of climbing up the tree, although if you did it wouldn’t have deterred you. This craving was something that had been gnawing away at you for weeks now and you wouldn’t be stopped for anything. The first plum snapped off easily, much to your delight. You paused momentarily to press the fruit to your nose and inhale deeply, the rush of satisfaction running through your brain causing you to smile at the deliciously ripe scent of your prize.

Instead of eating it on the spot, you decided to toss it in your basked and continue plucking until you’d put as many as you could into your stash. You decided that you would take some of them home and then drop off the rest to the market for the rest of the community to enough, but you would be a little self indulgent and eat your fill first. You worked on picking more plums silently, enjoying the peaceful sounds of the night as you plucked, making sure to leave a few fruits scattered across the lower limbs for other creatures to nibble on. In a relatively short amount of time, you’d amassed a large basket full of deep purple plums and you were more than ready to sink your teeth into one.

You spent another moment picking the most perfect one you could find. One that was perfectly soft and plump under your fingertips. Once you’d selected your fruit of your choice, you leaned your back against the tree and slid down until you sat fully on the ground. You moaned ever so slightly as you finally bit into the fruit, juices leaking from the sides of your mouth and onto your chin as you chewed. From the droop in your eyes and the lazy smile that had crossed your face, you knew you looked like the epitome of bliss and you couldn’t agree more. The taste of the plum scratched at that itch deep in your brain and you would keep eating until it had been fully satisfied.

“Gods above,” you said softly before taking another bite, “I needed this.” In this moment you think you finally understood what Halsin always said about the gifts of nature. The single plum you’d just inhaled was the greatest gift anyone could have given you in that moment. Or perhaps his druidic nature was just finally rubbing off on you. Either way, you were grateful for your treat. You made short work of the plum and wasted no time in biting into a second one, which tasted just as sweet and ripe as the first. Your gaze shifted across the land you’d made your way to and eventually settled on the sky, tracing the constellations as you continued eating.

Your eyes settled on the full moon sitting high in the sky, illuminating the area with a soft glow as your brows settled into a deep frown. As beautiful as it was, you found yourself surprised to see it return to full seemingly so soon after the last. You tended to keep track of your monthly bleed cycles, wanting to make sure they came when they were supposed to in order to keep an overall idea on your general health. But, given how busy everything had been under Thaniel’s watch, it had slipped your mind. Your cycles tended to fall in line with each new moon and upon seeing the bright and shining full moon now above you, you realized that you miraculously didn’t have one this past lunar cycle.

“By the gods.” You whispered to yourself as the reality of everything happening finally made sense to you; the seemingly missing bleed cycle, morning sickness, aversion to certain smells, and the craving for plums so strong that you ventured into the woods in the middle of the night just to eat one. How you could have been so daft to not pick up on it soon was beyond you. Halsin had figured it out the first day of your sickness. You smiled and giggled to yourself at the very real possibility that you were with child.

The silence of your thoughts were quickly cut short as you heard the unmistakable grunt of a bear not too far off from where you were seated. Your survival instincts were set ablaze quickly, rising to your feet but remaining low until you could find the source of the noise. Bears weren’t all that uncommon in the area, although you’d never seen one so close to the realm with the only exception being your wild shaping lover who was usually sporting three or four children on his back. The sound was emanating from the path you had taken to the plum tree, the sounds of the animal becoming steadily closer as your heart pounded with anticipation.

Much to your relief, when the bear did present itself to you not too far from where you were, you noticed it was unmistakably Halsin in wild shape. Why he decided to wake from a deep sleep just to roam around as a bear was beyond you, but you couldn’t exactly blame him for doing so when you had left the warmth of your bed to find a plum tree. You sat back on the ground and watched your lover roam. His transformations into a bear always fascinated you and you frequently enjoyed just watching him function as a large hulking creature. It was also fascinating to you to see just how much the tendencies and habits of his bear form seeped into his normal form and vice versa. He was as much bear as he was elven and you loved both halves equally.

The bears head was pointed towards the sky and you could hear the grunts and sniffs from where you were. His nostrils flared as he inhaled the night air, having seemly picked up on a strong scent somewhere nearby. You watched as his head then bowed towards the ground, nose still twitching wildly as he picked up on the scent once again. It didn’t take long for his gaze to finally fall on you resting against the tree. You made the quick decision to move your basket of hard won plums out of the way as the bear made it a priority to gallop towards you, quickly closing the space between the two of you. By the time your plums had been securely placed to the side, you felt Halsin’s nose press firmly against your neck, inhaling in quick bursts as he made his way across your body.

His quickly working nose pressed firmly against your skin, making you shiver at the abrupt force and chill behind it. With several grunts and small growls, you felt his nose travel anywhere he could reach. Into your hair, behind your ears, along your neck, eventually ghosting over your collar bones and under your arms. You laughed at the feeling of the quick bursts of air and the fur tickling your skin, eventually having to work your hands down to grab hold of his rapidly moving snout.

“Love,” you said as you pulled his snout towards your face to keep him from traveling lower, “if you wish to communicate you’ll have to change back. I can understand you, my dear bear.” The ability to speak to animals was never something you’d found necessary, although you’ve deeply regretted that decision since choosing a partner that spent half his time as a bear.

With a brief whine of annoyance, your beloved bear backed up slightly before erupting in a ball of light, making you squint and turn your head to avoid lasting damage to your eyes. By the time they reopened, Halsin was practically on top of you. His lips crashed against yours before you had a chance to say anything, the force behind it bumping your head against the bark of the tree. You felt one of his hands caress your jaw, the other being used to hold himself up to avoid completely crushing you. His thumb quickly made its way to your lower lip, tugging downward gently so your lips could part more for him. You happily complied, moaning softly as he deepened the kiss. It wasn’t long until the hand on your jaw gently tilted your chin to the side, allowing him to descend upon your neck at a fevered pace.

“What has gotten you so worked up?” You asked with a laugh. Your hands roamed across Halsin’s broad shoulders as he pressed against you, his lips and teeth grazing along your neck with each sloppy kiss. His hips found their way nestled between your thighs as he moved closer. The had that was supporting his frame had moved to your hip, squeezing and frantically searching for any bit of flesh he could find.

“Your scent,” he rasped, “I think I know why, but it’s changed as of late. It’s stronger. More potent. It’s…it’s intoxicating.” He switched to the other side of your neck, inhaling deeply behind your ear before painting the column of your throat with more kisses and bites. He panted through his words as shutters of excitement and arousal coursed through his veins. It was only now that you realized that the druid wasn’t wearing the first stitch of clothing. You enjoyed the thought that your lingering scent in your bed had motivated him enough to leave without even bothering to put on a pair of trousers.

“Fertility, perhaps?” You asked as you tugged what was left of the hair tie from his hair, your fingers quickly snaking their way though.

“Or the result of that.” His eyes were half-lidded and on the verge of glowing as he took your lips in his for another kiss, “I was wondering when you’d catch on.” Your desire to reply was cut short as your own arousal began to kick in, shoving any thoughts of rational conversation to the far corners of your mind.

“Damn clothing,” you muttered as you struggled to hoist your shirt over your head, “is always in the way.” You felt the druid laugh against the skin of your neck at your plight. Halsin had managed to tug your trousers from your hips by the time you’d finally tossed your shirt from your body, his lips still latching onto any exposed skin he could find. Your sighed in relief as he moved you to the side and your back finally left the rough bark of the tree and was happily placed on the cool grass beneath you.

************************************************************************

You hummed contently as you bit into the plump flesh of another plum, snuggling against Halsin’s chest in the process. His arm was wrapped tightly against you as you both lay in grass under the plum tree, thoroughly exhausted after the events of the evening. His arm was underneath your shoulder, his hand extending towards your hip where his fingers drew lazy circles along the bone. Despite his frantic and more aggressive movements from just moments prior, his touch was soft and loving as if he was trying to undo any potential injury he inflicted in his animalistic lust.

“Satisfied?” He asked as he bit into his own fruit, looking down at you as you gave a light hearted chuckle. You couldn’t decide if he was referring to the plums you’d finally gotten your hands on or the impromptu rutting you’d engaged in, but either way you had no complaints.

“Very,” you said as you finished the last of your fruit and tossed the pit to the side, “although I do have a bone to pick with you.” You feigned a pout, letting him know you weren’t actually angry, especially after a well enjoyed time together. He raised his brow at you, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

“Do tell, my heart.” He finished his plum with a second bite, discarding the pit as you did before using his free arm as a makeshift pillow against the trunk of the tree.

“Why didn’t you tell me you thought I was with child? Hells, you had it figured out in no time and I only just put the pieces together this evening.” Although you weren’t actually mad, it was a genuine question that had been biting at your brain for a few days. Despite having wagons full of displaced children already under your care, you knew Halsin would love one of his own. He loved the children that found their way into your care deeply, but there was something about bringing in a new life that you knew excited him. So why not tell you the second he put everything together?

“I wanted to be certain, my love. I didn’t want to put that idea in your head only to be wrong. I wasn’t sure of your feelings on the matter. Truth be told, I was afraid you would be opposed to the idea.” His voice was soft as he spoke, “And, quite frankly, I was afraid that if I spoke it into existence too soon it wouldn’t be true. A bit selfish, I suppose.” You cupped his cheek with your hand, pulling his face to look at you as you offered him a warm smile.

“Put those fears to rest, my love.” You said softly, leaning forward slightly to place a gentle kiss to his opposing cheek.

“You’re certain? This is something you want? With me?” There was uncertainty in his voice. Although it was rare for him to show such vulnerability, you knew that deep down Halsin had his own fears and uncertainties about himself, given how long his emotions and previously failed actions weighed on his shoulders. But you were there to lift his burdens and bring him towards a life where he could cast those doubts to the side. He had nothing to fear with you, nothing to be ashamed of. You loved him more than you could express and living a lifetime with him would bring you more joy than you had ever hope to achieve previously. Bringing a child into the world together was something that was even more thrilling and something you both had secretly wanted for some time.

“More than you can ever imagine,” you pulled his head towards you until your foreheads rested together, “and we’ll both pray to Silvanus that we’re correct in our assumptions.” You felt Halsin release a heavy, but elated, sigh as he once again pressed his lips to yours. It was a firm kiss, but any lingering lust from earlier had long gone. Instead, this was a kiss filled with love and, above all else, radiant hopefulness.

“Shall we head back, my heart?” Halsin asked with one final kiss to your forehead.

“No,” you said softly, “let’s stay here tonight. We haven’t had a night under the stars in quite sometime.” You both lay there happily, limbs tangled together and bare skin pressed together firmly. It didn’t take long for sleep to wash over you, your cravings sated for the time being and your body thoroughly spent. You slept peacefully while in the embrace of your lover and with the thought you could be bringing a child into the world together.

Tag List: @incrediblethirst, @reignydeys @thoughts-of-bear

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #halsin #halsin x reader #reader x halsin #gender neutral reader #daddy halsin #halsin romance #halsin brainrot #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #halsin fluff #halsin fanfic

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heartpiratedrabbles · 3 months

Text

Insecurities Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 ~

Buggy X Fem Reader

You were starting to calm down the closer you got to Gin’s house. You’d somehow made it home before sundown and were quite happy at the idea of taking over the later show for the night. As you walk in there is very clearly one thing that strikes you, “Benji what did you do to your hair!” It was a mess, he was already reckless with his hair, sometimes teasing it to go every which way. But right now, it was frizzy and very clearly haphazardly cut. One side was the length it was when you had left and then it abruptly got short, jaggedly getting longer around his head.

“Oops, thought you wouldn’t notice so quickly,” Benji beamed smiling up at you and even Azure snorted at the absurd thought, “I got in a lil trouble but it’s fine!” He reassured while spinning to show no other ailments besides the renegade hair.

You sigh going to Gin’s storage closest and grabbing a box with some stylist scissors, “Well I can’t have you going around like that, sit down.” You scold both of them over being reckless as you cut his hair into something much more manageable for the more reckless of the two boys.

You swipe some stray hair’s off Benji’s shoulder before asking them if they’d like to go home for the night. Gin wasn’t home yet but you’re sure he wouldn’t be worried knowing you were coming home today.

~~~

“Mistress Zazel! I’m glad to see you made if back safely, although a little earlier than planned,” You wave your hand as acknowledgement towards your bookkeeper Mertle but motion your head towards the boys in your arms. Despite them being 5 and rather large, you were still able to carry them with ease, one over each shoulder as they had started to fall asleep on the walk over, one after the other asking to be picked up before passing out. It was a little strange that they were asleep this early, they were used to staying up for the shows, but you assumed it was just a nap from the excitement of the day.

He bows his head before getting closer to talk to you, “It does seem like the boys have angered another person, He was asking about one of them today, although that was about an hour ago. So, I’m not sure if he’s still around” He whispered, opening doors to the sleeping quarters for you.

“Thank you for the warning, I’ll take care of it, also let the crew know I’ll be leading the show tonight” You whisper before heading to your apartmentlike quarters. You tuck both your boys into bed before heading out to look for the angry customer, most of the time people would calm down enough when you appeared in front of them to forget their transgressions, others demanding compensations, and depending on the situation sometimes a fight. You were happy to oblige most anyone’s concern, and were always thrilled for a fight, staying on land for so long had made you miss the sea and the battles that came with it.

You go towards the rehearsal tents, it’s where most people sent the angry customers to wait for you, looking for a disgruntled person. But after a while you couldn’t find anything and went to go prepare for the show. Nothing could take your mind off of stress more than preforming, it’s when you felt the freest. The lights, the costumes, the applause of it all.

Your boys were allowed to come with you every now and then, but only for special occasions. Most of the time it was the side acts and smaller shows that you allowed them to take part in. You’re sure this little sleep would only be a quick nap and hoped they’d wake up by the end of the show to meet you rather than go off causing mischief.

~~~

Buggy gave up looking for the boys after it was clear that every child he saw, was not imitating his look or making fun of his nose. He pulled his cloaks hood up and decided to buy a ticket for the main event. It had been a while since he’d seen another circus act, maybe he could scope out talent for his own crew. And this Zazel had become a bit of a hot commodity at the beginning of the Grand Line, most people called her show a celebration of making it safely into dangerous waters, and He was curious as to what so many people had been saying about it.

Sitting down in the middle of the crowd, where he thought he’d get the best view he looked around. It was certainly a stationary set-up; the building may give the look and feel of a tent but Buggy could see how the wooden supports and walls were hidden by fabric draping about. He looked up and towards the walls where there was walk ways high above everyone, lights and fixtures attached every couple of feet. He’d give it to them, the set up was truly ideal, it didn’t seem like there was a single bad seat in the house.

Before he could look around more the lights dimmed and a spotlight turned on in the center of the arena. Music had amped up the great reveal for there to be nothing, a missed cue. Amateur. The music took a dip and the spot light turned off before they began again, still nothing. Then, without a beat the music amped up, the spotlight flashing a bit before a woman falls from the ceiling in an aerial silk, barely missing the ground by inches. The wide smile evident on her face as she swon high in the air, jumping out without any supports much higher than any sane person would do. And yet Buggy was amazed to see her somehow fall gracefully and landing with barely any disruption to the sand on the ground.

Buggy’s breath hitches as she stands up and takes a few bows towards the crowds while applause and cheers go wild, “I am Mistress Zazel” the women stands straight up, both hands going into the air as lights go wild and other acts swing in view, or move around. So many small details grouping of people that no one could watch them all. And despite that, Buggy’s eyes were fixed on the woman, they were fixed on you, how you shined so brightly. “And this is my Dazzling Circus!”

The juggling of knives, fire eating, and trapeze had dazzled people enough that they forgot of the world outside as the show continued. The entire time Buggy focused on you, on your ringmaster costume with a top hat that had to have been clipped into your hair. He watched as you moved in your own dance on stage, around the people, hyping everyone up before getting into your own routine. The shoe’s you worn looking dangerously high yet fits your perfectly.

Soon enough the show was over and Buggy had realized he hadn’t seen anything else but you, but just as how you appeared on stage in a blink of an eye, you disappeared. He was one of the first people to stand up to leave, rushing to try and find you.

The crowds around making it hard to move he was getting angry. He breathed in, I know where she is. She can’t just leave, it’s alright if I don’t find her right away, he rationalized while slowing down. There’d be plenty of time to get to you. Just as he was calming his anger down, he felt a slight jostle of his pocket and looked down.

~~~

Azure and Benji had woken up just in time for the crowds to leave the main tent. They both decided to see who get the most on their way to their mom’s private tent and went in similar directions, targeting different people.

The crowds had gotten thick which was perfect for them and Azure decided that the tall man in a fur coat would be the perfect target, after all anyone hiding their identity had secrets and treasures to hide. He snickered at the thought of finding a big score.

But just as he passed by the man, delicately grabbing the first thing in the man’s pocket, he felt a hand grab his collar. He was lifted into the air, legs kicking underneath him and he realized there was no arm attached to the hand holding him up. “There you are, you brat,” An angry voice came out before Azure looked up, making direct eye contact with the man they had stolen from just hours before.

He gulped, letting out a small whine for help as the disembodied hand shook the boy slightly, “Who do you think you are stealing from me twice?” Azure was the shy, timid one of the two twins and had only stayed silent in fear at the danger he sees in front of him. And despite all that he was also amazed at how similar his face was, the pictures on the bounty poster he had gotten glances off didn’t truly show off the clown’s true features.

“And what’s with that ridiculous nose?! Are you making fun of me?” Some of the acts and tent merchants had started to make their way to the commotion.

Azure finally snapped out of his state at the last comment, “My nose isn’t weird! Mom says it’s beautiful!” He cried out trying to punch and kick the man in front of him, tears brimming his eyes.

Before Buggy could say or do anything more someone grabbed Azure and pried his shirt loose from Buggy’s grasp while another person had gripped the clowns’ shoulders. Azure turned to grab onto Antonette, a sword swallower, burying his face into her shoulder. “I’m sorry sir, but if you’d like to make a complaint, we’ll have to direct you to our main office,” The strongman act, Hubert, says while gripping Buggy’s shoulder with brute force.

Buggy was angry, but he didn’t like the subtle circle of people surrounding him, and the boy had been whisked away in a blink of an eye. Benji following behind his brother to make sure he was alright. Angrily Buggy replies, “Well take me to whoever’s in charge then!” It seems like the boy was a part of this circus, he could at least bargain to try and get his belongs back, maybe even fight a person or two. The thought of you being in charge had completely left his mind at how angry the kid had made him.

~~~

“Mistress Zazel.” An exasperated voice came through the tent that made you sigh, you had just gotten changed into a less revealing costume and called for the person to continue, knowing it had something to do with your boys “A uh. An angry customer grabbed Azure; we have him in Holding Tent 7 for you.”

Your blood boiled at the news, swinging the fabric open, coming face to face with Mertle who seemed to have known you’d be pissed, “And why did this dearest customer dare to grab my boy?”

“He seems to be the man from before. Claims that they stole from him twice today.” You let out a breath. “Antonette has both boys in her tent for now, neither of them seems to be injured in the slightest,” He adds in the report to try and make you calm down. You start walking with Mertle towards the Holding Tents. They were called tents, but they were much more akin too private rooms that locked. You had decorated them to look like small training areas for your own amusement but it had come in handy with calming some people down in the past, or of course taking care of said patrons. Mertle had been one of your first business partners and he took his job to heart, everyone in this circus did, and most people who had been here since the beginning looked after your boys as if they were their own. But you couldn’t help but feel that Mertle was holding onto some information, regardless you were about to teach another patron a lesson.

As you passed by a couple of your main acts there were whispers about having to get ready for a body clean up. You were approaching the tent quickly and could see two people guarding the entrance, you usher them to open up and your let in, the door quickly closing behind you.

The man in question had his arms crossed and was huffing in anger, back turned towards you. You take a running start, the man turning around at the sudden noise, and take a good hard punch at his face, covering your fist in Haki as you make contact, your blinding rage not granting you a look at his face.

To your surprise the punch didn’t knock the man out, it had barely forced him to turn in the direction you hit. The sudden realization of a couple of blue strands popping out from the hood, making you freeze. The man took advantage of your frozen state and grabbed both your hands, pushing you to the ground, restraining you.

And just as you had frozen at the sight of just his hair, you were now face to face with the man you still loved. The one you watched from afar but never tried to contact after he had kicked you out. Emotions overfilled you and you clenched your jaw to try and stop from crying.

Buggy, on the other hand, had been just as surprised as you, he had somehow forgotten he was following you when the blind rage of boys making fun of his look had walked by. And now here you were. Alive and well. Pinned underneath him. He stared at your features, holding in his breath in case it was a dream. His eyes glance at your features that he had memorized from your wanted poster, but none of it could compare to the real you, the one that had aged slightly since the last time he had seen you.

Overwhelmed with emotions himself he did the only thing he could think to do and slammed his lips against yours in a deep desperation as tears pricked his own eyes. You tensed up at the sudden contact, you weren’t sure what to do, your mind was flashing through the pain he had forced you to go through. You clenched your eyes shut, streams of tears falling down the sides of your face as your lips began to quivers.

Buggy, leaned his forehead against yours, “Doll…” His voice was just above a whisper as he called you, “Please Doll,” The voice you heard sounded broken and you slowly opened your eyes, staring into his own. You were shocked to see tears falling down his own face, a trickle of water going from his eyes to his nose, a drop falling on you, “I’m so sorry Y/N” he cried out while staring right at you. Your heart skipping beats as your mind became confused, “I am such an idiot,” He continued, his grip on you loosening.

You looked down his face, he looked like a toddler who gotten his candy stolen, it was an ugly crying face for sure and you couldn’t help but hold in a chuckle as your mind continued to race of what was happening. “Y/N, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’m sorry.” You couldn’t tell if the tears drenching your face were your own or the man’s above you but your heart ached at every word, he was saying to you, “I don’t know how I could ever make it up to you” Your noses were touching now and you were sure that his face paint had gotten on your own forehead. “I’ve been looking for you for so long Darling, I’m sorry,” He was blurting things out faster now.

You sucked in a breath to calm yourself down, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling but you could stop your face from scrunching up in the same way Buggy’s was. You slowly move your hands to either side of his ugly crying face and smooshed it together a bit as you wiped tears from under his eyes. Smiling a bit at how he willingly let you move him around as he continued to cry. He tried to apologize again even has his lips were puckered out like a fish with how you were holding him and you take one more final breath before pulling him in, kissing him yourself.

This is not how Buggy pictured your reunion. He had pictured something less…. Pathetic. He didn’t want to cry, or show you his weak side. He wanted to come and sweep you off your feet, gently demanding you to join him at his side again.

He hadn’t expected to be punched by you the second you saw him, and he was even more shocked to know that it was you who had punched him, he was expecting someone else entirely, security perhaps, but not you. You had sent his rage into desperate desire to be by your side again he was overwhelmed. He had pinned you down without realizing it was you but the second he caught your eyes; he couldn’t stop himself from initiating a kiss. He couldn’t miss his chance to feel you lips on his again, even if just this one time. And as he pulled away the tear ducts started flowing, there was no stopping them and he could only think of the sorrow he had felt these past years before thinking of how much despair you yourself had been in.

He didn’t understand what you were doing to his face, he knew he was a sobbing mess and he was only expecting another punch, or at the very least a push away. He didn’t deserve you; he’ll never be worthy of you. He had truly ruined the chance he had with the love of his life and seeing you were mere inches from him again made him emotional. He was even more shocked when you pulled his face in, to kiss him yourself. Your own kiss being a desperate and hesitant one, that got stronger as time went by.

When you finally pulled back, slightly gasping for air you finally let out a small wail that you didn’t know you had in you. Buggy wrapped his arms around you sitting up as you fisted his shirt in your hands. Pressing your face into his chest, “You’re awful.” You beat on his chest as he hugged you closer letting all your pain out. He stroked your hair as he agreed with you, and that he didn’t deserve to be forgiven. After swearing him out between your sobs, “I’ve missed you so much” he squeezed you as tight as he could at your words, “I didn’t think you wanted to see me ever again.”

“Doll if only you knew how much I tried looking for you…” He whispered while rocking you back and forth. He added it was his own fault for this.

By the time you had both calmed down there was snot all over his shirt and bruises on his chest from where you were pounding him. He was silent and glanced at you, his make-up an absolute mess and you snorted between a few of your sniffles, “You look ridiculous.”

“You don’t look any better Doll.” But he quickly shut himself up, looking at you with what you could describe as puppy-dog like eyes, shifting back and forth slightly.

~~~

“We want to see mom!” Benji yelled at Antonette who was starting to pull her hair out from the twins’ behavior.

“You know the rules. When she’s dealing with an unruly customer you have to wait until the noise stops,” you never stopped them from seeing blood and gore, but you had set a rule that they couldn’t see how it had happened. Not yet at least. And thankfully everyone in your crew agreed with the sentiment, although some would prefer to shield their eyes, the boys were the ones who continuously tried to see it.

“How are we supposed to know when the noise stops if we aren’t near the tent!” Azure exclaimed pulling on a curtain, digging his feet into the sand as he let the weight of his body fall.

“Besides, I don’t want this one to die!” Benji yelled out and Antonette gave him a strange eyebrow, “He was too interesting! He looked like us!”

Antonette snorted at the comment, “If you mean like a clown that should worry you even more, you don’t come to a circus looking like a clown if you aren’t apart of it, that’s just weird.” Benji sat on her feet and hugged them, “You ain’t getting sympathy from me pal, we aren’t going until someone fetches us.” She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

But as her back met the chair she heard a snicker and looked around, without her realizing it, Azure had taken down an entire curtain and was in the process of wrapping it around her. She tries to stand up, only to realize that Benji had already restrained her feet together with a small amount of rope. “Sorry Netty!” Azure yells as she watches them leave while she was yelling after them.

They sneak around, avoiding any gaze from their many babysitters until they make their way to Tent 7. They see Mertle in front of it sitting on a stool while going through a ledger. The twins look at each other and nod.

Azure stays behind the corner while Benji makes his way to Mertle, the man looks up surprised to see the boy, “Why aren’t you with Antonette?” He asks quizzically. He closes the book, standing up.

“Netty left us. There was a loud noise and angry yelling and she went to go check it out-“ Benji sniffles a bit, “And now I can’t find Azure and. And” Mertle looks startled at the normally overconfident boy starting to cry.

“Hey. Hey wait. Let’s go look for them alright?” Mertle goes to pick the boy up but Benji nods before running in the opposite direction as Azure. “Hey, Benji, Wait up you shouldn’t be alone” And with that Azure goes to the tent.

As per usual, the door is locked but he makes quick work of unlocking it. Benji already beside him again, leaning against the door to try and listen in on what’s happening. They can hear Mertle yelling in the background but the man hasn’t thought to look where he had just been. “Got it!” Azure says happily while turning the door knob.

“Hey mom did you kill the guy yet?” Benji clammers out as the door opens and he falls to the ground.

“Yea, this one was interesting we don’t want him dead” Azure adds as he trips over his older brother.

~~~

You two had decided to talk for a bit, his legs in a v shape as you sat on top of him, with your own legs outstretched behind him. Your hands on his shoulder so you could shake or hit him whenever you wanted which he happily obliged too. You had demanded to know how much he missed you, enjoying the groveling man and letting it heal your broken heart slightly.

He had regaled to you how he’d only become more infamous with a higher bounty in hopes of finding you, every island, ship, or marine base, destroyed or conquered in search of you. You didn’t know how you felt yet. You loved him, you missed him. And here he was right in front of you, begging and apologizing to you, telling you how much he loves you. And yet you couldn’t quite figure out if you could accept it. It had been years, and your heart ached to be with him, but was it right?

You lean back, placing a hand on the Buggy’s leg behind you while brushing another hand through your hair, just as you let a sigh out you hear something from behind you. Looking behind you, you see Benji had fallen to the ground first, likely just falling from leaning on the door, while Azure had made it another step into the door way but fell over his brother, eating sand on his way down. Both of them clamoring out words you could barely understand.

“Hey what have I told you two about disrupting Mommy’s work?” You scolded them, momentarily forgetting the man you were sitting on top of.

“Did they just say kill?” You straighten your back as you remember your predicament, “Did they just say mom?” You turn back to look at Buggy. “Did you just say mommy?” His thoughts were reeling, processing everything. He looked over your shoulder to see the brat, or rather brats from earlier. He thinks of his last interaction with one of them, and the words the boy had said before being whisked away, My nose isn’t weird! Mom says it’s beautiful! You tense as you watch Buggy’s face slowly put the dots together, your face turning a slight shade of red, “Are those brats…” He points to them, “My brats?” and points to himself.

The look on his face slightly in awe but mainly unreadable and you swallowed a bit and nodded. “They’re named Benji and Azure,” You croak out. You didn’t know how he’d react to realizing he was a father. You gripped his leg a bit and rub your arm with your free hand. The boys still coughing up a storm behind you from when they ate the ground.

Buggy studies the two boys, in all their clumsy glory. Azures Blue hair slightly loose from a pony tail, but well maintained and Benji covered in dirt as he goes to pull at his brothers’ hair. They both seem to have forgotten their original mission, rather focusing on who tripped who. And to your surprise he turns to you with a grin across his face, “Aw Doll, why didn’t you tell me” He wrapped his arms around you and put his head into your shoulder before he slumps over a little bit, “I made you go through this alone,” He whispered.

You still weren’t quite sure how to act, what to say, what to do. But you felt a little relieved at how Buggy was acting. You could still hear your boys arguing behind you and decided to slowly wrap your arms around Buggy. “They act a lot like you…” You whisper, as you can still hear the boys arguing with each other.

Buggy straightened up a bit coughing a bit and avoiding eye-contact, “Maybe. Maybe they could learn a thing or two from their dad.” You were silent, more shocked than anything else at how eager he seemed at the idea, “O-only if you allow me.” He had taken your silence as a soft rejection and tried to reassure you he didn’t want to force anything.

~~~

“No you grabbed my ankle!” Azure yelled as he tugged at his brother’s ear, trying to punch him. Benji had an iron grip on his hair as he proclaimed that Azure was the one that had tripped him. Both boys throwing punches and barely landing any in their tangled situation.

“Boys!” The two immediately stopped, going to stand up straight and wiping any sand or dirt off of themselves at the voice of their mother. They both looked up at similar times and fully took in the sight in front of them, you had turned your body enough to see them and were scowling. Meanwhile the man you were sitting on had been looking at both of them in awe, perhaps a little nervous as he flicked his eyes between the boys and you. “Come meet-“ You had stopped halfway through your sentence realizing what you were about to say and a heavy blush filled your cheeks.

You didn’t need to finish the sentence for them to understand though as both boys ran up on either side of you with curiosity filling their eyes. “Are you, our dad!?” Benji asked while tugging at Buggy’s sleeve, Azure giving him puppy eyes as the two boys stared at the man.

Buggy flipped his head to look at both boys before looking back at you, only to see you had turned your head to the corner to avoid eye contact, but even he knew it was out of embarrassment over anything else. “You have our nose! It’s real!” Azure beamed happily at the man as he poked the nose and even Buggy was flustered at the situation.

“Would you like it if I were your dad?” Buggy finally spoke cautiously, eyeing you every now and then to make sure he didn’t cross any lines. And you couldn’t help but let out a small snort as you saw admiration in Azure’s eyes as Benji had a wide smile.

You watch as Buggy, still very overwhelmed with emotions look to you for approval and you just give the slightest nod. Within a moment Buggy’s arms had wrapped around all three of you and squeezed you tightly making you gasp. “I’m gonna need to teach you two how to do make-up properly,” Was the first thing he said proudly still not letting go, “Cause whatever I saw this morning was god awful.” You could hear as Azure muffled his laugh into his fathers’ clothes and Benji straighten up a bit at the comment.

As Buggy loosens his grip on all three of you, “I told you it looked awful!” Azure gleefully proclaimed while looking at his brother, who in turn tried to climb between you and Buggy to get at his brother.

Buggy laughed before grabbing both of them tightly on either side of him, “I see they like to fight.”

“Well, who do you think they got it from?” you laughed, relaxing quite a bit at the display in front of you.

Just as you were enjoying the moment you heard the door swing open behind you, “M-Mistress Zazel I have horrible news. The Boys they’re miss-“ You look behind you to see Mertle in a frantic state, stopping at the sight in front of him.

“Ah, don’t worry ‘bout it. The boys are with me.” You say waving him away, “Everyone’s dismissed for the night. No need for ‘clean-up’.” And Mertle gapes his mouth open but is able to let out an okay closing the door behind him.

“Were you gonna kill me doll?” Buggy let the boys go to gingerly place a hand under your chin, making you turn towards him as he leans in closer.

“Well, you did attack my boys” You smile glancing at his lips before looking at his eyes leaning in closer.

But just as your lips brushed against each other, Benji, not understanding anything, loudly shouts, “Mama kills anyone who touches us!”

“Yea! You woulda been number 34!” Azure agrees while beaming up at their father. Both boys trying to climb on top of Buggy as though he was a jungle gym.

“I see we have quite the trouble makers,” He smiles leaning close for an actual kiss that you happily accept.

#One Piece #One Piece X Reader #Buggy #Buggy the Clown #Buggy X Reader #Part 4

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lazycats-stuff · 10 months

Note

PLEASEEEE DO A PART TWO TO THE ORPHAN READER MAYBE THEY GET COMFY WITH THE FAM AND THERES TIMES WHERE THEY SHOW IT?? and their reactions too? And at the end they accidentally says they're the best robin and the bat bros + bruce tease them!! if u can do this tysm!! (Sorry 4 caps i just loved that story!)

I was planning a part 2, no worries. All right, time to get to writing. Famous last word of the author who will procrastinate... Oops. Also, people who didn't read the first part, they can read it here: PART 1

Summary: (Y/N) is slowly getting more comfortable with his new family. The others are happy.

Warnings: fluff, (Y/N) thinking about his new life, teasing.

Quick note, this GIF is too adorable to not put here...

It has been a month since (Y/N) came to live with the Waynes. It was a difficult adjustment for (Y/N). After spending years on the Gotham streets, it wasn't easy to adjust to a warm room, a comfortable bed or 3 regular meals a day.

He also didn't like that he had to go to school. He preferred to learn on his own, it was much more better. But Bruce left him no choice. Bruce used his suit as leverage, using the threat of taking it.

(Y/N) disliked him even more due to the threat.

(Y/N) sighed as he walked down the school corridors, adjusting the straps of his bag. He was really going to escape one day. He thought about escaping often, but Bruce made sure that the house was secure like Pentagon. No out.

He was walking to his biology class, just ready to end the day. And he was hoping that he would avoid Damian, who disliked him. Even after a month of living with them, Damian still didn't tolerate him and would be set off by anything that (Y/N) did.

(Y/N) could only hope that he didn't have biology with Damian. He would rather shoot himself then sharing this class. He was avoiding Damian in school like a plague.

For a moment he thought about the other members of the family. Tim was the only one that (Y/N) could come to talk to. If one had a question, they would go ask another one. But he was still iffy around Tim, not knowing if he can trust him just yet.

Dick? Well, (Y/N) found him annoying with how much he was trying to welcome him into the family and into the home. But at least Dick was trying.

Jason was not welcoming towards (Y/N), but didn't fight with him like Damian. He just stayed out of (Y/N)'s way.

And Bruce? Well, he tried his best to get closer to (Y/N), but (Y/N) refused to open up to him. He can't expect (Y/N) to open up when Bruce adopted him by force.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Damian, but he ignored him, turning his head completely.

" (Y/N) can you come and help me? " Tim asked him, popping his head into his room. (Y/N) lifted his head from his sketch book, sketching a new version of his bites.

" With what? " (Y/N) asked from the bed.

" It's a case, I'm just stumped. " Tim explained, scratching the back of his neck, clearly not wanting to admit the defeat.

" Sure, why not. " (Y/N) said, putting the sketchbook down and standing from the bed. He followed Tim to the cave. It seems like Tim was tired from the case itself.

" What is the case about? " (Y/N) asked.

" It's a murder case, my guess Professor Pyg, but I can't prove it. It's just... This case is so annoying. " Tim said, entering the cave.

(Y/N) didn't like the cave very much. It brought the memory of being brought here and (Y/N) didn't want to remember the night that changed his life. For the better or for worse? He still didn't know.

Tim pulled two chairs and (Y/N) sat down next to him, looking up at the big screen of the computer. Tim pulled up everything he had.

" So what is bothering you about this? " (Y/N) asked.

" Well, Professor Pyg was in Arkham, but he escaped, but there was a string of murders before hand. It seems like he was in Arkham and killing in the city at the same time. " Tim explained.

" Okay, well, it seems like he has a helper. Did you look into who spends the most time with him in Arkham? " (Y/N) asked Tim, now realizing that the others were in the cave too.

Shit.

" I didn't, but I will look into it. Thanks. Oh wait, I figured out the problem with the bites you said you had. " Tim said, giving him a few pieces of paper.

" You did? Thanks. " (Y/N) thanked Tim, moving to walk back upstairs, passing right past the others without a word. Bruce watched him walk off. He had a plan to get closer to (Y/N).

" I think that (Y/N) might be right about this. " Tim said, biting his nail.

" Good. " Bruce said, moving closer to the screen.

" Did you talk to (Y/N) about the internship at Wayne Enterprises? " Tim asked Bruce, looking at him.

" I will talk to him tonight after dinner before we go to patrol tonight. "

Tim nodded, turning his head back to look at the screen.

And after dinner, after (Y/N) went upstairs to his room, Bruce went after him, knocking on the door. He opened the door after her heard a faint come in.

Bruce entered the room, closing the door behind himself. (Y/N) was sitting at his desk, books open all over the desk.

" Are you busy? " Bruce asked, trying to ease the tension.

" At the moment no. " (Y/N) said dryly, turning in his chair to face Bruce. Bruce noticed how tense (Y/N) was and he hoped that this idea would work. He wanted (Y/N) to be comfortable with him and he knew that it would take time.

" So, I have an idea and you can say yes or no to it. " Bruce started, sitting down at (Y/N)'s bed. " I know you love to work on your suit, but I feel like there is more to your intelligence, so I talked to Lucius Fox, one of my trusted friends. He is the one who is responsible for making our suits. " Bruce stopped for a moment, watching (Y/N)'s reaction. He is interested, good.

" I talked to him about you helping him out as an intern. And you will be paid for your work. " Bruce said, making (Y/N) stand up from the chair in excitement.

" Really?! " (Y/N) asked, just shaking with excitement.

" Yes. I thought about you going everyday after school, but for a few hours. I can't forget about your school. " Bruce said and (Y/N) just flew into his arms into a hug.

When (Y/N) stopped hugging Bruce, already composed. He always dreamt of working in such a lab.

" And the money would be mine? " (Y/N) asked, liking the idea of earning his own money.

" Yes, you would have your own account and that is just yours. " Bruce said, happy to see that (Y/N) was happy.

" Thank you Bruce. " (Y/N) said, moving to sit back at the chair.

" No need to thank me. I saw how you don't really like being in school and the fact that you don't go out on patrol anymore, I thought that it would be nice to let you get out sometime. " Bruce said, suppressing a smile.

Everyone in the house could see the change in (Y/N)'s demeanor. He was happier since he started his internship and more so, he got more comfortable with Bruce. And Lucius was an amazing teacher and a mentor. And Bruce was definitely happier knowing that (Y/N) was more comfortable with him.

While (Y/N) was more comfortable with Bruce and Tim, the other three weren't so lucky. They didn't want to look like they didn't want (Y/N) here, but still, there was still some resentment towards him for taking their missions.

Jason came home from patrol, stressed out from the criminals and the lack of leads for a case. He had a plan. Take a shower and go on the roof to smoke.

Important note, be alone.

Jason took a quick shower then took his pack of cigarettes. He opened the window and climbed onto the roof. Jason shared a wall with (Y/N)'s room so he was and wasn't shocked when he saw (Y/N) sitting on the roof.

Jason noticed how tense he got when he saw him and simply put his cigarette in his mouth to raise his hands, to show that there is nothing to be tense about.

" Don't worry, I just came to smoke here. I had a rough night. " Jason said, taking a lighter and lighting up his cigarette. He took a long drag before letting the smoke out.

" What is bothering you? " He asked, letting the smoke out.

" It's nothing. " (Y/N) said, waving Jason off.

" Are you sure? I know we aren't close, but you can tell me. I won't tell Bruce. " Jason said, shocking himself with his statement. Since when did he care?

" Promise me that you won't tell Bruce? " (Y/N) asked.

" Promise. " Jason said. " You smoke? "

" No, I don't. " (Y/N) said, taking a deep breath.

" I just miss going out on patrol and I just miss my old life. " (Y/N) admitted to Jason, who nodded.

" I mean, it's nice to have 3 meals a day and a home, but all I knew all my life are the streets of Gotham. It's difficult to just switch your mindset. "

Jason took a drag, before letting his smoke out. " You know, I had the same problem when I first came here. I didn't really live on the streets, but I was close to. Bruce saved me and it was difficult for me to adjust too. " Jason admitted to (Y/N).

(Y/N) just raised his brow, maybe shocked to hear Jason's confession. But it felt nice knowing that he wasn't the only one who has felt the way he has. After going back into his room, Jason smiled at himself. (Y/N) got more comfortable with him...

Alfred asked Dick to pick up (Y/N) from his internship, since he couldn't make it. Dick didn't mind picking up his younger brother, in fact it meant that they could spend more time together. Usually Bruce would drop him off at home when he was done with work, but he had more work today.

Dick parked his car just when (Y/N) came out of the building. He waived him over and (Y/N) sped up to the car. He sat in the front, putting his bag down onto the car floor and putting his seatbelt on.

" How was your day? " Dick asked, driving to a cafe that he knew (Y/N) would love.

" It was fine. " (Y/N) said.

" What did you work on today? "

" Just some minor improvements for the suits and something for the company, just to keep up the façade. " (Y/N) said vaguely.

" That's nice. "

" Where are we going? " (Y/N) asked, noticing that they weren't going to the manor.

" You and I are going to hang out today. " Dick said, with a far too much of a cheerful voice than (Y/N) would have liked.

" Great. " (Y/N) said dryly, clearly not happy with the idea.

" Don't be so negative Jinx. We are going to go to a cafe to get some drinks. "

(Y/N) didn't know why they would do that, but he has no choice. he doesn't want to walk back home.

" Don't be so negative about it. You will like it. " Dick said, finding a spot. He turned off the car and both of them stepped out. Dick led them into the quiet cafe and they both order coffees. They sat down, waiting for their drinks.

" I heard a rumor that you miss going on patrol. " Dick said, taking a sip of his coffee.

(Y/N) remembered the talk with Jason. Did he spill? " Who told you that? " (Y/N) asked, tilting his head.

" Nobody, I'm just messing with you. I can see it in your eyes. " Dick admitted, seeing the relief in his eyes. Jason definitely told Dick, but threatened his if he told anything to (Y/N) about his involement.

" I do miss it... It was way more free than now. "

" What if I tell you that Bruce wants you to go? " Dick said, bringing his mug to his lips.

" What? " (Y/N) asked, now completely shocked. What is Dick talking about?

" He told me that he is sure that you will like to be back on patrol. He saw how you miss it and since you have been here long enough for Bruce to trust you, then he said you are allowed to go. " Dick said, reaching for his pocket. There was the USB he handed out to (Y/N).

" I know you were working on a case when we... Took you in. So, I took it upon myself to investigate it. Here is everything I have collected. " Dick said, nodding to (Y/N) who was hesitant to take it.

" I know you are still hesitant, but I just want you too feel comfortable with me. " Dick said, watching (Y/N) sip his coffee.

" Well, it's not easy to get comfortable with the people that forced this on you. " (Y/N) said, tapping his fingers against the wooden table.

" I know, but it's better than you living on the streets. " Dick said, fixing his jacket.

" You are right about that, but I had fun on the streets. There wasn't a set of rules... "

" But there was a struggle. " Dick said, saving themselves an argument.

" Yeah, but still. " (Y/N) said, shrugging his shoulders.

And that same night, Jinx was officially back on the Gotham scene. It was obvious to all of them that patrol was something to bring out the old (Y/N) and not the new withdrawn (Y/N).

Bruce had to say, (Y/N) listened to them and let them know where he was and he listened to the orders and plans. He was paired with Damian. On tonight's agenda was destroying Penguin's weapons cache.

" Alright everyone, lets go. Watch out for the henchmen. " Batman said through the comms.

Everyone let out noises of agreement and on they went. Robin and Jinx moved swiftly and quietly, taking everyone out quietly. They didn't talk, they just moved around like shadows.

After a while, they met in the center of the building, looking at the weapons piled up here. There was enough to start a civil war in the city and probably the tristate area.

" Okay, even I don't need this much weapons. " Jason said, looking at the caches, whistling afterwards.

" Lets just destroy it and go home. " Jinx said, looking into his belt for explosives.

" Hang on, if we can put them into those vaults and in the process destroy the money..." Dick started, pointing at the vaults with his baton.

" That's not a bad idea. " Batman said, ready to push, but the doors closed and locked.

It was Penguin sending his goons in to kill them. All of them jumped into fight mode, each of them holding their own. During the fight, Jinx saw a goon pulling out a gun. It was pointed and Damian and Jinx didn't think before jumping in front of it, protecting Damian from the shot.

Damian was shocked to find that (Y/N) was shot because he was protecting him. None the less, they finished fighting and went straight to the cave. Bruce drove like a maniac, every single second precious to them when it came to being shot. They had notified Alfred to get the medical wing ready.

After coming to the cave and Alfred taking over the medical for (Y/N), everyone was silent. Damian didn't know what to say. It was weird and incomprehensible to him why would (Y/N) do that for him. They changed into their pajamas, just waiting for Alfred to come out with good news.

After what seemed like an eternity, Alfred came out, giving them those good news.

" He is going to be fine gentlemen. I will spend the night here just in case. You can go up and sleep it off. "

That same day, more precisely morning, they all came into the medical wing of the cave, waiting for (Y/N) to wake up. They were all anxious, watching like hawks.

After a while, (Y/N)'s eyes opened and everyone was silent. " Look, it's the best Robin. " (Y/N) giggled, pointing at Damian. Jason had to step out to let out a laugh. Bruce looked up to at the ceiling, wondering why did he adopt him.

Dick coughed, covering the snort that came out. (Y/N) is going to get teased relentlessly for the next couple of months.

Tim was shocked that it wasn't him. He felt slightly betrayed.

And Damian was outright shocked, which doesn't happen often. Holy shit. He was going to use this piece of information at every opportunity possible.

(Y/N) giggled and got quiet again. (Y/N) was okay and he was going to fit in with them.

#dc x male reader #dc comics #x male reader #batfamily #bruce wayne x male reader #jason todd x male reader #damian x male reader #batkids #dick grayson x male reader #tim drake x male reader

357 notes · View notes

ughgoaway · 3 months

Text

don't you think of me?

plot; snapshots of your breakup, with one letter underlining it all.

word count; 6.9k-ish

content warnings; swearing, dramatic overreactions, distressing dreams, depression, blood, general sad vibes, drinking and no happy ending (oops <3)

a/n; guys... angst is SO HARD. idk how people write it sooooo well. this fic is inspired by the songs "Sad Beautiful Tragic" and "I Almost Do" and the storyline is based completely on those songs! but there are a few other Taylor song references in the fic too. anyway, this kind of jumps around a lot, perspectives and timelines. so if it's completely incomprehensible, I am so sorry!! lemme know if it's so awful I need to have a re-write lol. I really hope the flashbacks are clear, and that this timeline makes any sense whatsoever <3

(p.s this is basically dedicated to 🍪 anon and bff anon, ty for riding so hard for this fic lol)

(this is non-canon)

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The cold wind hurts Matty's face as he battles against it. Each gust feels like needles prickling his cheeks. But still, he pushes through, not really feeling much of anything these days anyway. The paper in his pocket scratches his hands as he burrows them in deeper, but he just grips it harder. The scratches made him feel more human anyway. They convinced his hazy head that maybe life was still happening around him.

The red post box in front of him is almost taunting. He stands frozen, gripping the letter he’s worked so hard on tightly. He has the passing thought of just letting it go, watching it blow away in the breeze, and never having to think about it again.

He never has to think about you again.

But he knows that's unrealistic. How can he never think of you again when you're all he thinks about? Every waking thought he has is about you. He still thinks about how your breathing changed when you slept next to him. The way your lips curved into the smirk he loved whenever you teased him. The flush that covered your cheeks when he did it back.

Every morning, he still gets out 2 mugs. He still grabs your favourite wine at the shops and doesn't say yes to plans without thinking if he should check with you first. The last time he saw you was still burned into the back of his mind, and he was not sure it could ever leave.

And to be honest, he doesn't know if he wants it to. If healing means forgetting you, forgetting everything you built, then maybe it is better to live in the pain. Each time he begins to heal, he picks up the scab over and over again. The sting reminded him of you, so he picked and picked. Blood poured from him relentlessly, but that was all he could do. Bleeding for you was all he had of you anymore.

He shoved the letter in and walked away briskly. He fought every bone in his body telling him to go back. To smash the post box and filter through every letter until he found his. He imagined a world in which he hadn't sent it, where instead he turned around and marched back to his house.

Or maybe there's a world where he marched to your house instead. Maybe he finally got over himself and told you everything in person. He begged and pleaded for you to forgive him, to look him in the eyes and tell him you've been hurting just as much as him.

Matty isn't sure that world exists, though.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀

3 days later, when it arrives, you stare at it endlessly. You move it from place to place in your apartment and try to visualise opening it there. But soon enough, that just becomes you avoiding that room like the plague, and you start to treat parts of your flat like they are infested with a deadly virus. But they're not, really. They're just filled with a small envelope with your name on it and a return address you know all too well.

You decide you aren't going to read it 2 days later. You hold it over a candle and watch the amber flames lick the bottom of the envelope. But before you can set it ablaze, some instinct takes over, and suddenly, it's the most important object you've ever owned. You pull it from the flames and put it out with your fingers, not caring if the fire sizzles your skin. You cry and beg for it to be okay, tears streaming from your cheeks as you frantically pull it open, “No no no. fuck, please.”

But the letter inside was unscathed, just the corner of the envelope was covered in a thin layer of ash. As soon as you see that handwriting, though, you feel the unspeakable urge to burn it again, to set it on fire and watch it burn.

You don’t.

You lay it on the table and go to bed. You decide tomorrow will be the day you do something with it, even though you promised yourself that every day since you got it. But you're sure tomorrow will really be the day. It has to be.

You return to the warm solace of the bed you've grown to know too well over the past few weeks, and the duvet welcomes you in like an old friend.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀

It's a few days after he sent the letter and the day after you received it when he sees you for the first time, and he can't quite believe it. There you were, standing in the coffee shop you always went to together.

He wondered if the baristas had noticed you both started to come in without the other. Maybe they started gossiping about it, “Did those customers break up? I never see them together any more” and he could almost see someone else saying “I hope not. They were cute.”

Even though he knew no one would ever actually say that, and that the baristas hadn't noticed anything.

Some force that he couldn't explain pulled him towards you, and before he knew it, he was reaching for your arm. “Hi” he breathed out heavily, staring at you like he wasn't sure you were real. He wasn't convinced that you were anything but a figment of his imagination. Has his delusions about you already gotten to the point where he's having visions? He thought it would take a few more months for that.

“Matty?” You say gently, tracing your eyes over the man in front of you. Hearing your soft voice after months without you felt like heaven on earth for Matty, relaxation washing over him just at the soft dulcet tones of you.

Matty smiled softly at you, and you immediately returned it. He can see the cogs turning in your head on how to greet him. Was a hug too much? Is a wave too little? Is a handshake too formal? Overthinking was one thing you were so good. Matty was sure you could win an award for it. So he decided to take the decision into his own hands and wrapped out up in a hug, burrowing his face in your hair and smelling that familiar floral aura he'd fallen in love with.

Your whole body tensed when he first touched you. The once familiar feeling now was slightly cold and awkward. But Matty felt you relax and couldn't help the grin that spread across his face the the feeling of your head in his neck, the place you always used to lay. He swore he could feel you breathe him in, but soon convinced himself it was wishful thinking.

Reluctantly, you pull away, looking up at Matty with glassy eyes. The barista next to you clears his throat, bringing you both back to earth and out of whatever haze you were in. “your tea is ready” he says awkwardly, eyeing you and Matty with a sly smile on his lips.

“Right! Sorry, yes. Thank you” You grab your cup and turn back to Matty nervously. He can see the anxiety radiating off you, just like it always had. He never thought it would be directed at him, but he tries not to overthink it too much.

“Do you-” You clear your throat, shaking your head as you try to process that you're seeing him again. Seeing your Matty. “Do you want to sit with me? Catch up?”

Matty can see your hands shaking around your cup and the nervousness swimming in your eyes. “Of course,” he says easily. He could never deny an opportunity to spend time with you. Especially not when he hadn't seen you in so long. And certainly not when you still take up his every waking thought.

The conversation flows like you had never left, easily chatting and catching up like you always had. You tell Matty about the cat you adopted and how she loves to sit on top of the fridge to scare you. He tells you about his mum and her latest drama. Her kitchen cupboards were the wrong colour of grey, and it was the topic of conversation for much longer than he thought possible.

The first bout of silence comes when you ask about Annie, and Matty can tell it took every ounce of strength to force the words out of your mouth. You felt like someone had taken one of your vital organs when you left her, and you can still see her face in your mind whenever you close your eyes.

“she's good. Misses you, though. Especially because she doesn't see you at school anymore since you got a new job” he says with a solemn smile. Matty tries to hold eye contact, but he gives up a few seconds into it, instead staring at his coffee as if it was the most interesting thing in the room.

Thankfully, soon enough, the once stilted silence becomes easy chatter and laughter all over again, Matty welcomed the warm conversation with open arms, missing your presence more than he ever thought possible.

But Matty's mouth soon got ahead of him, “so when was the last time I saw you?” he asked thoughtlessly. His brain was on autopilot, and the words poured out of him before he could stop it. The very topic you'd both been dancing around was now laid out in front of you, and it couldn't be ignored.

Matty saw something in your demeanour change, your once soft smile morphing into a faux-happy grimace, “Don't you remember? You screaming at me in the kitchen? And then storming out after saying what you did? Maybe you remember smashing a plate on the floor?” Matty pauses at your words, not quite believing you're deciding to re-hash all of this in the middle of a coffee shop, especially with a massive and slightly creepy grin on your face, but he answers anyway.

“Of course, I remember. And there's not enough words to say how sorry I am but-” he stutters as he tries to explain himself more, but you cut him off, gently placing a hand on his arm.

“Are you sure you remember? When you left me? Abandoned me? Left me sobbing and alone? What about the 30 phone calls you ignored?” You kept talking, and Matty couldn't get a word in, your voice increasing in volume with each desperate question.

“Look I’m so sorry-” Matty desperately looked around him to see if people were staring at your raised voice, but the cafe was empty. The once bustling coffee shop is now like a ghost town, with no evidence of another human ever being in there.

He flicks his head back to yours, only to be in his kitchen, forced back to that night. He stares at you in your pyjamas, tears streaming down your face. He flicks his eyes down to see him dressed in the same liquor-stained clothes, and he can taste the red wine on his tongue.

“Why” you whispered over and over again, gradually getting louder, eventually shouting at Matty as he stood there motionless.

Matty wakes up in a cold sweat, panting wildly as his brain fights to figure out what the fuck is happening. He scrambles to his phone and realises; it's still the same day. It was just another fucking dream. He knows nightmare would be the better word, but he can't bring himself to describe anything with you in it as a nightmare.

With a heavy sigh, he flops back to his pillow, gripping his phone desperately and trying to fight the urge to call you. It almost doesn't work, and he clicks on your contact and lets his thumb hover over the call button. He sees the unanswered calls and the pleading messages. He can feel the desperation through the screen.

He thinks your new boyfriend must've blocked his number because that's easier than thinking that you just hate him. Each time he reaches out, there’s no reply, and he feels a part of himself die.

He hadn't tried for a few months now, but he still had that urge to type out his every thought, to send it and call you until you answered. But he doesn't.

It doesn't occur to Matty that the real reason that the reason you don't answer isn't because of a new boyfriend or because you hate him. Instead, it’s because you know you can't deal with another goodbye. You can't risk all this happening again. You were already practically ripped open. You can't risk tearing the very stitches you worked so hard to sew closed.

But matty doesn't know that, so with a huff, he clicks off you and onto George, and this time, he lets the phone ring.

“Huh? what-” he hears the groggy voice over the phone mutter, and it's then he realises maybe ringing George at 3 am because he had a nightmare wasn't the best decision. But it was too late now, and he could practically see George's expectant face from the other side of the phone.

“Hi. it um- it happened again” Matty said with a huff, falling back into the pillows and staring at the moonlight dancing across his ceiling. He heard George's heavy sigh and the distinct sound of ruffling sheets, George had sat up instinctively, knowing something was up.

“What was it this time? Did everyone in the crowd turn into her again” George says softly, rubbing at his tired eyes and fighting a yawn.

“No, it started off really nice this time. I saw her again at that cafe we always went to, you know the one near the studio? We were just chatting and catching up. But then she wouldn't stop talking about that night, telling me what happened all over again. And then I blinked, and I was back. I was in that kitchen again, just staring at her.” Matty follows the moonbeams with his eyes, lingering on the two beams crossing over, only for their paths to separate once again.

It reminded him of you and him.

“I think you need to get some lavender oil or some shit. You need to sleep. And these nightmares aren't helping” George says firmly, Matty would usually fight him tooth and nail at the suggestion.

He claimed it was because that stuff had never worked for him, but George knew it was because he saw it as still having a part of you in his life. Even if you were there in the form of his demons, at least they all looked like you.

But to his surprise, Matty immediately crumbled, “Yeah, you're right. Will you come to Boots with me after the studio tomorrow?” George agreed quickly before Matty could change his mind.

But he didn't try to, Matty simply said, “Thanks. Okay, I'll let you sleep now… Bye.” And before George could tell him it was okay, and he’d stay chatting as long as Matty needed, he was gone.

Tears leaked from Matty’s eyes, wetting the same pillow where you used to lay your head. This loop of healing felt endless, and Matty wasn't sure if fixing this was possible when he knew you were still out there without him. Forever wouldn't have even been enough with you, but now he has nothing. What is he meant to do with no you?

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀

As Matty lay awake in Manchester, you were in the same position in London. The same lonely bed, but different cities. Unlike him, you haven't managed to sleep yet. Instead, you can't stop your brain from imagining what is in that letter. Your mind falls back to that night, and you replay the events over and over again. Every word Matty said was etched in your mind, so it played easily, the same script ringing in your ears all these months later.

//////////////////////

Matty shut the door delicately. Getting home at 2 am. was already bad enough. He didn't want to wake you or Annie in the process. But when he saw the light pouring out of the kitchen and heard the distinct hissing of the kettle, he knew you were awake. And he knew you were waiting for him.

He walked into the kitchen silently, leaning on the counter and watching you potter around, he remember when he used to sit here for hours and dream of you in his house. Now he's not even sure the last time you said I love you to each other. You continue to ignore Matty, but you getting a second mug out of the cupboard tells him all he needs to know. This is going to be a long night.

“At the studio late again?” You ask, passing Matty his mug and leaning across from him. Your eyes trace up his figure, and you can't help but think you don't recognise the man in front of you. His clothes hung off of him, and heavy bags sat under his empty eyes. His hair was standing on end, once perfectly manicured curls now frazzled beyond repair.

“Yeah, George wanted to fix this harmony. Sorry I'm back so late” he knew lying to you was wrong. He really did. But he couldn't bring himself to explain where he actually was, drinking alone in a bar rather than at home with his family.

“Oh. okay.” you pause and wait for Matty to correct himself, giving him a chance to be fucking honest for once. But he doesn't, so you push again.

“That's weird though, because I asked Charli where George was 2 hours ago, and she sent a photo of them together. In bed.”

Matty's eyes widened. He knew he'd just been caught, but he wasn't ready to give up the lie yet. He just needed a few more weeks away, and then he would come back. Then everything would be made right again. So his tipsy mind comes up with a new lie and pleads with whatever God there might be that would believe him, “Oh did I say George? I meant Hann, you know how I get when it's late”

“Matty. You stink of booze. Do you think im an idiot?” You sigh, placing your tea down and crossing your arms over your chest. The anger bubbling within you was threatening to spill over. You felt as if every word from Matty was a stab, yet he kept just pushing the knife deeper.

“So I had a drink at the studio! Sue me, Jesus Christ” Matty sneers at you as he talks, slamming his cup onto the counter, ignoring the burning on his hand from the tea falling over the rim.

“Liar” you click your tongue at Matty and cast your eyes to the floor. Staring into his eyes as he lied to you was agony, and you're not sure how much more pain you can take.

“I'm not lying. I swear I just-” he tries to argue, but you refuse to let him keep going.

“I know you're lying. You're always fucking lying! You weren't at the studio.” you sighed heavily flicking your eyes up to Matty briefly, but the tension was too much, it hurt to look at him.

“Baby, cmon, calm down. It’s okay, yeah? I’m here now,” Matty moved towards you, grabbing your cheek in his hand and moving in to kiss you, prepared to make this all melt away just like he always did. You try to push him away, but Matty stands strong. He had to fix this. He needed to kiss and make up. It was all he knew how to do.

“Would you just fucking listen” you shout, pushing Matty back across from you, “I don't even know who you are anymore! These past few weeks have made you into a man I don't even fucking recognise.” You look up at him with crazed eyes and scoff at the sight of the man in front of you.

You were done with it all. The lying, the running away, the sleuthing around. Done. You were having this conversation, and you were having it now.

“No please don't say that. You know me. I don't know who I am without you knowing me,” Matty begged, sobering up quickly at your words.

He needs to bring this back, claw what little life you had left in you to the surface. Everything that left Matty’s life has had claw marks in it, and he would be damned if he'd let you go without the same scars.

“Don't you understand that's the fucking issue, Matty? You don't know who you are anymore, I don't know who you are anymore. You need to be a person without me.” your words struck Matty in the chest like a bullet.

Were you seriously suggesting what he thinks you are? Do you actually want to break up with him?

Matty baulks at your words. Every feeling he’d had over the past few months was catching up to him, crashing into each other in his brain as they fought to be let out. Anger won because, of course, it won. It seems to always win.

He decides that if you want to break up, then he'll do it himself. He can't let you beat him to it. He knows it's childish, but he doesn't fucking care. He needs to win this. “Please, I've been a person without you for 30 fucking years. I’m a fucking dad! I don't need you to tell me who I am.”

“Annie needs both her parents, Matty. We need you back, please.” The mention of Annie makes outrage bubble within him like it had never done before. He can't believe you'd practically threatened to break up with him one minute and then beg for him back for the sake of his daughter the next. Because that is what she is, she's his daughter.

“You don't know what it's like to be a parent y/n,” Matty mumbles under his breath, but he might as well have screamed it at you because that's how loudly it rang in your ears. He knew he'd fucked up as soon as he said it, but there was no going back now, and he could see that in your eyes.

“I don't know what it's like to be a parent. Are you fucking kidding Matty? What the hell have I been doing here for the past year? Just fucking around? I can't believe you could say that to me.” You hear your voice wavering as you force each word out.

“Annie is just as much my daughter as she is yours” you whisper desperately. The regret of mentioning Annie was building in your chest, and it felt like a rock impeding your lungs, each breath fighting against the weight. but it was too late to take anything back now. Both you and Matty knew it.

Matty scoffs at your words, rolling his eyes as he fiddles with his fingers. He tries desperately to cool his raging mind, but he can't. He figures if he is already in this deep, why not stoop a little lower?

“Just as much your daughter? Please. You weren't here for fucking any of it. Where were you here when she was born? How about when she was sick for the first time and wouldn't let me put her down without screaming bloody murder? Or- or how about when she broke her arm and she cried when she couldn't have a pink cast? Or maybe for any fucking time apart from the last 12 months. I know you liked playing happy families y/n, but be fucking real for 5 seconds. You were her teacher, maybe a fun friend, but nothing more. And if you think you were, you're more delusional than I thought.”

His chest heaved as he finished, not taking a single breath during his rambling speech, he could see your wet eyes and he felt his heart aching but he just couldn't stop himself, words tumbling out of his mouth. "Even if you stayed, even if you never give up on us, on this. You could never be her mother.”

Both of you pause, the silence thick and heavy around you. How long could you stand like this and pretend he didn’t say that? Maybe if you just stayed there and listened to your ragged breathing, something would change.

But nothing did.

“Fuck you. You told me I was practically her mother a month ago. You said to me I was it for you, that your family was complete. I can't believe-” words poured out of you, streaming helplessly as you paced the kitchen.

Matty tried to cut in, desperate to get a word in edgeways. The need to defend himself was all-consuming. He needed to know that you understood he said it in the heat of the moment. Words fall out of his mouth without thinking. He can’t help it.

“y/n, love-”

“I’m not her mother? Tell that to the time I took her dress shopping for your mum's wedding. Or when I took her to A&E with suspected appendicitis. and-”

“y/n. Stop, just listen to me, please.” Matty begs, he almost inches closer to you, but some ineffable force keeps him where he is, watching you pace helplessly.

“Listen to you? Oh, I've done plenty of fucking listening Matthew. All I do is listen to you! But you never fucking hear me-”

“Can you just shut up for 5 fucking seconds” Matty shouted, grabbing a plate from beside him, throwing it against the concrete floor, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces. He just needed you to look at him, to tell him you could fix this, but you wouldn't stop talking.

A gasp from you pulls him back to earth, and he feels his heart break into as many pieces as the plate below his feet. Your wide eyes and tear-stained cheeks glare back at him, and Matty has nothing to say. He has no fucking idea what just came over him.

Matty gingerly takes a step towards you, trying to avoid the ceramic splayed over the floor. His fingers shake as he reaches his hand out to your cheek, wanting to thumb away the tears falling.

But just as he does, he sees you flinch. It wasn't even a full movement, practically a micro-expression. But you fucking flinched. And you both knew it. The veil of silence over you is thick as you both stand there motionless with no idea what you could say to fix this. To make the last 10 minutes disappear.

Matty’s touch used to calm you. It was the only reassurance you needed. But now the mere thought of it filled you with some twisted sense of fear. The woman he had planned the rest of his life with was scared of him. And it was all his fucking fault. How had this all become his worst nightmare? How had the very thing he sacrificed so much to build crumbled and destroyed itself so deeply?

“Matty wait- I’m sorry, I was just still on edge. It's okay, im okay. See?” With a shaking hand, you grip his, bringing it to your face despite his protests. You can feel him trying to pull his arm away, but you fight him at every tug. Forcibly placing his hand on your wet cheek.

As soon as your hand drops from his, Matty wrenches away from you. The feeling of your cheek against his palm felt as if his skin was burning. The pain touched his every nerve.

The air is charged with pure fear as you stare at the other, both of your chests heaving and your eyes glassy with unshed tears. Without thinking it through, Matty storms off, grabbing his keys as he pushes through the house. You chase after him, ignoring the blades of ceramic impaling your sock-covered feet, “No don't leave, Matty, please. Stay, stay here.” You reach to grab his arm, but Matty snatches it away before you can even feel his skin against yours.

“I’m leaving. I’m staying at George tonight. Tomorrow I’ll come pick Annie up from school. You will call in and take a sick day. Start packing your shit. I’m done. You're out of my house by tomorrow.” Matty demands, and with that, he leaves. Slamming the door behind him.

Bloody footprints lay in a trail behind you, and your socks start slowly becoming sodden from your weeping wounds. But still, you stood there, unmoving. Shock coursing through your veins.

It was all over. Just like that.

////////////////////

The letter was taunting you from the other room, the blacked corner flashed into your mind whenever your eyes finally fluttered close. The image of you burning the letter played behind your eyelids like a movie, and you almost wish you really had done it.

But you didnt, so it still sat on your living room table, torturing you.

Eventually, you drift off to sleep, tears dampen the pillow below your head, but you ignore the thumping in your head and finally let sleep pull you under.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀

You know you're dreaming when you're back in that kitchen. But you can't stop it from happening. The hazy filter that covers your surroundings is the only thing assuring you this isn't real, that this isn't all happening again.

Matty stands in front of you just as he had that night, but he looks different. His once frizzy curls sat in perfectly ringlets around his face, the streaks of grey dancing through them more prominent. His unshaven face was now neatly trimmed, and you admired the salt and pepper hairs within it. You can see the tears brimming in his eyes, glittering on his waterline.

“So you'll forgive me? We can move on?” he says desperately, smiling and moving towards you with tears falling down his cheeks.

You try to speak, but your mouth doesn't move, your lips stay pressed together against your brain's protests. Not even grunts escape you. Silently, you stare at Matty, completely motionless.

“y/n? You forgive me. I can make this right again, can't I?” Matty begs desperately. He grabs your hand but recoils at the cold feeling on his skin, your fingers cold as ice in his grip.

You fight to speak again, to tell him yes. To tell him you forgive him, that you need to try again. But still, nothing leaves your lips.

Matty scoffs at you, ripping himself away from you, “I can't believe you're ignoring me. I thought you'd be more mature than this. Call me when you can actually have an adult fucking conversation.”

He storms off, but all you can do is watch him helplessly. Every nerve in your body is screaming to move, to chase after him. And you almost do, but some inexplicable force is keeping you there, motionless in the same place where your life ended all those months ago.

So you watch him leave again, the haze surrounding you soon becoming darkness.

You know it's a dream, and you keep on telling yourself that. But when you wake with wet cheeks and a heaving chest, it feels pretty fucking real.

You swear you can feel him next to you, awake and staring at the same ceiling. But when you turn to see him, the piled-up duvet is all that's there, along with a cold bed beside you.

It's then you decide to finally give in to that voice in your head, the one screaming at you to just read the letter, to get it over and done with. The one begging you to throw it away and never look back is nearly silenced, and it soon becomes nothing but a whisper in the back of your mind.

The letter stays exactly where you left it, and whilst you know it couldn't have moved, part of you wishes it had. With shaking hands, you grab the pile of pages, and you can feel your heart racing the very same way it used to when you saw him.

The city lights shine onto you as you finally open the pages, looking at the handwriting you knew all too well. The same handwriting that used to give you butterflies, that used to detail how much it loved you, filling pages with adoration.

Now you're not so sure what it entails. But you read anyway, ignoring every screaming signal telling you to stop.

///////////

Hi darling,

I know I don't have the right to call you that anymore, but I can't bring myself to call you anything else. It's been a few months since we've spoken, and I've felt every minute of it. I've filled notebooks writing about you, writing to you. I must have practised this letter a dozen times, and I know this still won't be right.

So, instead of trying to write the perfect letter, I've ripped out some pages from my journal. My therapist told me to write like I was speaking to you, so that's what I did. I’m sure she would be pissed that im sending this at all, but I need to do this for us. To remember what we once were.

Anyway, I hope it makes you understand what this time without you has been like for me. You can ignore this letter completely and I wouldn't blame you. I won't hold it over you if you burn it and never look back. But if you do read it, I just need you to know im sorry. For everything.

(3 weeks without you)

To say the past couple of weeks have been hell for me is beyond an understatement. There is this festering part of me that thinks I will love you forever, and the knowledge that we will never be like we once were kills me, but it has to kill me. Because if I felt anything other than agony, I would come crawling back to you, and you don't deserve that. And I know that. But fucking hell, that doesn't make it hurt any less.

You know me, I don't know what it's like to have surface-level emotions. I either feel it all, or I feel nothing. and with you? I fucking felt it all. I felt every touch, every smile, every fight, every screaming match ending in tears. I fucking felt it. and for some reason- I'm still thankful for it. because at least I felt you.

I wonder if you're at the point where you miss me when you hear my name. And I can't help but think about you hearing my songs, do you change the station? Even if they're about you? But if I’m honest, they're all about you. Every one of them. Even before I knew you, they were about you.

(a month and a half)

I wish you could forgive me. I think if I knew you didn't hate me, I could move on. Or maybe it would do the opposite. I don't know. All I do know is, I miss you.

(2 months)

Sometimes I miss you so much I can't handle it. I go driving and find the places we used to go, I sit there, and I can still hear your laugh. I can feel that all-encompassing warmth that surrounds you. but then someone speaks, or a car horn goes off, and suddenly, it's cold again. I mourn you like you're someone I've lost forever, and in a way, I have.

You know I still feel you every day, everywhere. Because you might have left, but you never really did. I still find your socks down beside the bed, and your hair ties around the house. I accidentally used your shampoo in the shower this week. You know that ridiculous Jasmine one that you pay too much for?

It was like having you around again, I never thought the small of some shitty shampoo would be the thing that brought it all back to me, brought you back to me. Yet it was. But still, you were gone.

So apparently, I decided to fall into the breakup trope of crying in the shower. For 45 minutes, which made me feel slightly pathetic. And it didn't help when George knocked on the door and washed my hair again. with my shampoo. But I still find myself smelling jasmine even when it's nowhere near.

You haunt me in ways I never thought possible.

(3 months)

It's 3 a.m., and I can't stop picturing your face. Just knowing you're still out there makes it so much fucking harder. I don't know how to cope knowing you're there and not here, with me. Even months later there's some sick part of me that hopes leaving me was the hardest thing you've had to do. but I hope loving me wasn't.

I know that's selfish, and that this is all my fault anyway. so I want you to move on, even if it kills me. it's hell thinking that the one person you could never forget is fighting to forget you.

But I hope you find the love of your life. I hope they make your tea just how you like it, and buy you those crazy expensive candles you love. I hope they will follow you to the ends of the earth, just like I would. even now.

(3 and a half months)

I want to say you don't know how it feels to miss you, you don't know how hard it is. but I have to keep hoping you miss me just as much. because if you didn't, if you just moved on without a second thought; I couldn't cope. the fact that we will always just be an almost will live with me until the day I die. I don't want you to be an almost. I want you to be an always. but it's over, and I know that. or at least I'm very good at pretending I know that.

(4 months)

Recently, I've been thinking about “what ifs?” Despite my therapist telling me I shouldn't. But you know what it is like after breakups. It's this all-consuming thing, and you can't help but imagine if things were different.

I think in another universe, we worked out. I got over my massive ego, and you worked through your past, and it fixed itself. We got married, had another kid, and got that cat you always wanted. We'd go to Annie's graduation together. Her wedding together. you'd cry as I walked her down the aisle, I'd smile and kiss away your tears. and I know that's not this universe. but fucking hell why can't it be?

(4 and a half months)

My mum misses you. She asked how you were doing today and if I had reached out yet. I got angry at her and stormed out. If only she knew how many times I’d dialled your number and then turned off my phone. Or how many unanswered texts I've sent.

Annie misses you too, by the way. She's finally stopped asking when you're coming back.

I wish she still asked.

(today)

I don't expect you to read all of this, and if you've just skipped to the end, I don't blame you.

but I'm sending this letter because I think I'm finally at a place where when I think of you, I don't take it as a sign from the universe that we were meant to be together. instead, I think of it as a past life, as proof that we were an almost.

Next time I see you, I hope it doesn't hurt as much as the last time.

Goodbye, my love,

Matty x

///////////

The distinct sound of dripping tears hitting paper was the only noise in the room. You watched helplessly as the ink distorted under the little pools of wetness. A million thoughts race through your mind, and you can't help but fucking hate him for sending this.

How could he do this to you? All you've been doing for months is healing, but he keeps ripping open old wounds carelessly. He has to know you can never go back. You can't trust him.

All you left behind you was a mess. You were both better off this way.

With a scoff, you grab your lighter and cigarettes, stepping onto the balcony with the letter gripped in your shaking hands. You have to flick the lighter a few times before it works, the bitter wind fighting against it.

But soon the flame comes, you sigh happily, moving it up to the cigarette delicately balanced between your lips. You suck in a deep breath, revelling in the feeling of the smoke filling your lungs. The slight crackle brings you more relaxation than anything else these days, but you still have to fight to ignore the familiarity of the scent.

You flick the lighter again, huffing annoyed as it goes out. Once you see the distinct glow of amber, you don't hesitate before placing it against the paper and watching the pages in front of you burn up.

Ashes sizzle your skin, but you couldn't care less. In fact, you welcome the pain. A sick smile comes across your face, grinning around the now-lit cigarette in your mouth.

Isn't it funny how little words mean, when they're a little too late?

#here it is... i am nervous <3 #like i had fun writing it but is it any good?? time will only tell...#angst is difficult but very interesting to write #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fic #matty healy fanfiction #matty x reader #matty healy angst #the 1975 angst #the 1975 fic #teacher au!

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thebubblesareevil · 2 years

Text

Life on the farm Pt 3 Christmas on the farm

It took some convincing but Danny manages to drag a promise out of Ma and Pa not to tell Clark about his half dead status when they tell him to stop by. As they said he showed up within the day. He was a little awkward around Danny most of the time. Giving him these weird looks but he warmed up to him before the end of dinner. (Ma explains Danny has a heart defect that causes his heart to beat slower than normal, her fingers crossed behind her back, brothers shoulder be allowed their secrets after all)

Danny gets real excited when Clark starts to talk about the resident superhero, who just so happened to be an alien, and how he’d even met him a few times. They end the night on a happy note although Danny breaths a sigh of relief when he leaves. The guy just felt weird. He knew there wasn’t much he couldn’t take in a fight, but Clark made his instincts rear up. Danny shook it off, after all he’s only human, he doesn’t even have any ghost hunting equipment.

Time passes, the Kent farm gets a reputation for having the scariest haunted hay ride around (take that Carter!) that one earned Danny his very own apple pie. Danny ate the whole thing it one sitting with a huge grin. Thanksgiving what quite the affair. Danny dressed up in Clark’s old suit which barely fit him and grinned as Clark introduced his spitfire of a wife. Danny and Lois get along immediately, she’s a bit nosey but she tells the most embarrassing stories about Clark in the big city. Not long after thanksgiving a little green puppy showed up in the fields playing with the cows. Pa brought it in only for it to pounce on Danny who laughs yelling “CUJO!?!? How the heck did you find me?!” Cujo joins the farm, playing with the cows and chasing the chickens living his best afterlife. The farm is isolated so no one questions it, and then Christmas happened.

During Thanksgiving dinner Clark and the Kents made plans for Lois and Clark to come Christmas Eve morning so they could help with everything and stay the night. That was before they had a tiny green dog to worry about.

Danny did everything to try to get cujo to stay in the ghost zone, and he thought it worked. They greeted the couple and all was going well. Clark was doing dishes when he heard Danny’s heart rate spike and he nearly dropped a plate, scared he was having a heart attack. He turned around only to see Danny staring out the window as he turned back to see what he was looking at Danny yelled how he needed help getting ma and pa’s gift from the shop. It should be done by now but he doesn’t have a license and would Clark be willing to drive him, like right now, before the store closed.

Clark is confused but figures it’s because it’s Danny’s first Christmas with the family and he’s just nervous but as they are headed out the door Danny immediately shuts the door, turns around and yells oops I forgot I already picked up their gift, wanna see it it’s upstairs. Things go on like that for about 30 min before Danny just collapses in a chair and Clark pats him on the shoulder and says “I know” Danny pops up and shouts “you know! But ma said?!”

Clark laughs “don’t worry about it, they’re really bad at hiding gifts each year, they try to be sneaky but dad in particular isn’t very subtle after a few cups of eggnog. I can never find them, but I always know when they made it into the house.” Danny just stares for a minute before laughing “yeah, you’re right” the two of them share a good laugh before lois walks in with a VERY familiar green puppy in her arms and says “I think someone went a little overboard on the christmas decorating this year.” Clark’s staring because that dog doesn’t have a heart beat wtf. Danny has dropped his head into his hands and groans and Pa runs in, grabs Cujo and yells “I caught him Martha!”

Clark just continues to stare and asks “is anyone going to explain the dead dog?” Danny looks up

“Who said he was dead?” Clark stares at Danny, Danny stares at Clark, Lois glances between the two of them before shouting “For fucks sake he’s you brother, Danny I don’t know what you’ve got going on with glowing green, apparently dead dog, but Clark is an alien.” Clark shouts “Lois!” She gives him a LOOK and says “he’s you’re brother, eventually he was gonna find your space ship in the attic.” Clark concedes because Lois is usually right about these things and looks back at Danny “I think it’s your turn now” meanwhile Danny, who was a little star struck because his new brother is an alien from SPACE, shakes out of his shock and picks up cujo and says very nonchalantly “Oh yeah, I’m dead.” Both Clark and Lois stare before Lois responds.

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting that.”

#danny phantom #ghost king danny #dc x dp #brain vomit #au #ma kent #pa kent #kent family #lois lane #clark kent #should I add more #nah #maybe #I might add him meeting Conner tomorrow #life on the farm #pt 3

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wangxianficfinder · 3 months

Text

Fic Finder

Jan 25th

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1. I'm begging to know if you have this fic. Years back, I read a fic where Wei Ying is exiled from the Lan clan and in the process becomes mute kind of (?) by choice. Years-ish later the Lan clan would beg him back to teach the juniors dark arts, and after something he would comply. It's a lot of Lan Zhan trying to apologize and Wei Ying not taking it afterwards, but I do believe it has a good ending. Do you perhaps know what this fic is? I've been trying to dig out the name for a month or so now. @sunshines-child

FOUND? Wei Ying's Destroyed Heart by Belladonna01234 (Wattpad)

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2. hi!!! im looking for a genderbend fic( i think ?) where wwx is set to marry jin guangyao (theyre each others beards) and lwj is the florist, or maybe the other way around. i didnt read it, i only remember those specific things bc of the tags and the summary, but most definitely one of them is the florist at the other's wedding, and they meet and such is life. thank you so much!!!

FOUND! Widow's Weeds by travelingneuritis (E, 18k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Gardens & Gardening, Wedding Planning, wedding thwartin, grich people are terrible, Light-Hearted, Smut, Gender Changes, Getting Together, offscreen deaths played for laughs, this is meant to be silly don't worry about it, Scheming, Plotting, wwx and jgy are accidentally-on-purpose bearding each other but i keep it PG, wwx running laps around the entire jin sect)

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3. Hello! I am looking for a fic which I am 90% sure is a WWX/LWJ fic, but there is a 10% chance it might be Keith/Shiro from Voltron (oops, ehe, if so please disregard this ask!). It is a modern au where WWX looks like a rough guy, maybe from a motorcycle gang, and LWJ is a lovely put together businessman. The office where LWJ works begins to notice their boss (LWJ) meeting with tattooed WWX and they think WWX might be up to no good! But WWX is actually a cop or fireman, and he just looks a bit like a road rat. They eat pastries together on their lunch break. Does this ring a bell? I have been looking for ages! Thank you!!!

3 is definitely a Voltron fic if the other blades of Marmora are Keith's fellow cops.

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4. Hi! For fic finder, there is a fic that i only read the summary and a snippet of the story. I didnt read that fic at first because it is not something i usually read, but now its haunting me. Its ice skating au. I think there are "madam yu bashing" In the tag (im not sure). And the snippet i read is NHS beat up WC in secluded place in revenge for WWX. There are no CCTV and NHS said to WC that no one will believe him that NHS beat him up. I know its short, but i really dont know the story. Thank you!

FOUND! enough, for me by doodlebutt (T, 1k, Modern AU) which takes place during chapter 7 of All the shine of a thousand spotlights (M, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, figure skating, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Major Character Injury, Recovery, Getting Together, background relationships - chengqing; xuanli; xiyao, Background Pregnancy, the mortifying ordeal of Talking About Your Feelings, sexually tense pair skating, There Was Only One Bed)

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5. WWX and LZ are flabbergasted to see the other alive: WWX was burning paper money at LZ’s funeral as LZ died protecting him and LZ was attending WWX’s funeral as LZ failed to protect WWX during a nighthunt. The universe did some weird shit that merged the two timelines so now they’re both alive and with each other. I can’t find it anywhere @selena10180

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6. There was this fic, i don't remember, wwx was single and pregnant and his family (i think jiangs or wen? ) was with him? If u could find this fic and more like it?

FOUND? All I Want by Selenay (E, 47k, WangXian, Modern AU, No Powers, Mpreg, Post Holiday Romance, Consequences, Reunions, Idiots in Love, Teacher WWX, Rating earned in later chapters, Handwavey Biology)

FOUND? Nothing but your heart by airinshaw (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Implied Mpreg, First Time, Getting Together, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Whump, Breeding Kink) could also be this

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7. hi!! im looking for an unfinished (as of when i read it at least!!) accidental baby acquisition fic where wwx drops a baby (lsz i believe!) off at lwjs door in the middle of the night and disappears — i know thats vague but i dont remember a lot of details? it was a lot of introspection and confusion on lwjs part, kind of OH SHIT i have to look after this baby now n wwx is vanished n idk whats going on. n to my memory in the next chapter or so wwx comes back and is still rlly weird n mysterious n frustrating abt the babys origins n theres wx vibes but lwj is real confused. sorry i dont have more detail but i really hope i can find it!!!

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8. Hi! :D I really hope you can help me find this fic! I have been looking for weeks! it's driving me nuts!

I remember that WWX doesn't die and LXC help him live hidden in CR using the identity of a Lan that has died, WWX is taking care of LWJ/is LWJ's servant, there is a scene where they are in Lanling (I think) and WWX has befriended some of the servants there, him and one? of them are talking about WWX's feelings for LWJ/if LWJ love WWX/or something like that, and then LWJ is there, I'm pretty sure they go somewhere else and confess to e/o

FOUND! Unbreakable Heaven, Luminous Earth by carolyncaves (M, 96k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Secret Identity, almost to the point of uncomfortable identity theft, Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Suicidal Thoughts, that's for WWX after Nightless City and is not pervasive throughout the fic, Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Caretaking, Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Power Imbalance, mainly between WWX and JGY in an entirely nonsexual manner, this isn't really a kid fic but the kids are there, as are some yunmeng sibling feelings, JYL lives, Not Everyone Dies AU, some COVID parallels, this is not a quarantine fic, but thematically WWX deals w things like face-covering for safety and loss of control, also assume all canon warnings, this AU is gentler than canon but isn't a complete fix-it)

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9. Hi hi! Thanks for your wonderful recommendations always! I’m looking for a wangxian fic where WWX has a breakdown in the lotus pier courtyard and the vibes are like “I’ve tried so hard for so long and for what; I can’t anymore; I’m so alone” and the Jiangs are like “… oh shit” and then treat him better after that and help him bear the burdens. (I can’t remember if WWX is a dragon also?) @vi-sky

#9 while the suggestion is great I don’t think this is the fix I was looking for. I don’t think the Jiangs find out about anything until WWX has the breakdown in the courtyard, and I think he kept it to himself for awhile as opposed to his breakdown being chapter 1 in the recommended.

NOT FOUND! 🧡 (Un)Hidden truth by Sarah_R (M, 198k, WIP, WangXian, Suicide attempt, Time Travel, Hurt/comfort, Angst, Self-Harm)

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10. Hello! I can't remember much details but I think lan zhan lands on an unfamiliar planet, there he meet wei ying. Wei ying appearance is different, his body i think is color pink? or blue or like galaxy (눈▽눈) I 'm not really sure but he is not human , also wei ying is shy at first and then warm up eventually. Wahh thank you in advance!

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11. Hello! For fic finder: I am trying to find a fic I read recently (within the last 6 months or so) where Wei Wuxian cultivates a resentful energy core but it was held outside his body in the Yin Tiger Tally. Lan Wangji doesn’t know that, so he convinces Wei Wuxian to give up the Tiger Tally as a gesture of peace. Everyone gathers around to watch and are horrified when as Wei Wuxian crushes the Tiger Tally in his hand and the Tally crumbles to dust, Wei Wuxian keels over in terrible agony at losing his core a second time. I think Wangji rushes over to help but Wen Qing pushes him away. It wasn't Decay by antebunny (although that is a good fic!!). Any thoughts? Thank you!

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12. hi I just remembered a fic in modern verse where Wei Ying boarded a flight that disappeared mid air and landed after 10+ yrs and Lan Zhan comes to pick up from the airport once he gets the news. I can't seem to find it can you please help and thanks for your efforts its bought me across many amazing fanfics

FOUND! 看客散去唯你我不忘 | the world forgets but i still remember you by prettyxianxian (T, 11k, wangxian, Modern, Flashbacks, POV Multiple, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives AU, Insecurities à la WWX, manifest au, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Good Parent YZY, Good Parent JFM)

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13. Hello!! I'm looking for a fic that I was sure i had reblogged but now I can't find it anywhere 😔 It was on tumblr not ao3. LWJ is sex-cursed and he has to be touched by the person he loves. It was during the burial mound days and WWX is isolated from the cultivation world, and also LWJ refuses to ask him for help for that, he'drather die. LXC finds out and takes an unconscious LWJ to the burial mounds and gives him a day to tell WWX on his own or LXC will do it, and LWJ only agrees because he intends to run away before WWX finds out why he's there @kokobabee

FOUND! Tumblr Fic by @jingyismom

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14. Hello! I badly need help. I've been looking for this fic. I think it was like 5+1 or something where other people learn that Sizhui is Hanguangjun's son and that one time that Wei Wuxian did. I remember some of the 5+1 was a scene with a vendor, another scene with Ouyang-zongzhu in a nighthunt and I'm not sure if Jiang Wanyin was also one of them. But yeah, I've tried all keywords I could think of but I just can't find it. I hope you can help me. Thank you so much for all your efforts.

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15. Hello I am looking for a fic where the world agrees to not kill Wei Ying if he marries and dual cultivates with someone and it's LWJ @calamityisalve

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16. I am looking for a fic where wangxian invite the cultivation world to their wedding but wei wuxian and Lan shizui get badly hurt during the hunt before the wedding. The wedding is postponed and I think it had a scene where they fell down a waterfall? Please find it for me🙏

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17. Hiiii!!!! I’m looking for a Twitter thread fic about a Warprize Lwj ABO Au where he became a consort to wen zhuliu? I think it was him, anyway, he gave birth a-yuan but a-yuan was actually Wwx son. I remember there was quote retweeted art of the thread fic where Wwx was standing over a-yuan’s cradle.

If you actually manage to find it a million thanks!!! @silent-taco

FOUND? Twitter thread by @cerbykerby, art by @hellinglaozu

FOUND? 🔒 Poison series by Cy_an_Blue, NiceElsa (E, 30k, wangxian, Gods & Goddesses, God WWX, God LY, A/B/O, Alpha WWX, Omega LY, Pre-Relationship wangxian, Implied/Referenced Forced Marriage, Implied/Referenced Bottom LWJ, Omega LWJ, Alpha LXC, Married WangXian with kids, Dark, War Prize LWJ, Forced Pregnancy, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Not by WangXian, Adultery, Cheating, Threats of Violence, Threats of Child Abuse/Murder, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Gore, Smut, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Endgame Wangxian, Post Mpreg, post pregnancy, Protective LQR, Gūsū Lán Elders Bashing)

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18. Hello! I hope you can help me find this one, because I’m not having much luck; Wei Ying agrees to do what the sects want in exchange for the Lan sect taking in the Wen. He is basically imprisoned in the Unclean Realm and can’t practice demonic cultivation, and over time Nie Huaisand and Nie Mingjue start to warm up to him.

I think the one scene I remember most is a scene where Lan Huan asks Wei Ying if he can play for Nie Mingjue but Wei Ying says he can’t and admits that he has no golden core after making Lan Huan promise to keep it a secret. Hope this helps?

FOUND? Always walked a very thin line by tucuxi (T, 22k, WangXian, NHS & WWX, JYL & WWX, Depression, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Self-Worth Issues, Slow Burn, Oblivious WWX, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness)

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19. 你好! I've been looking for a fic with mute wei ying? (mute by choice, I believe). I cannot remember much, but I do remember that Wei Ying is exiled by the Gusu Lan clan, led by Lan Zhan himself. He's later called back to teach the juniors lessons on Demonic cultivation, where they found out after many years of choosing not to talk, he's kind of lost his voice. I don't know if you could find this fic, but it's been plaguing my brain for awhile now.

~*~

20. Hi! Searching for a fic where omegaxian is the assistant physician of Wen Qing and then Emperor (not sure if emperor or just a prince) Alphaji want him immediately as his consort. Wen qing and other people protested and told alphaji that omegaxian is not available because he is only a physician.

I remember it being a threadfic in X (twitter)

Thank you so much

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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forjongseong · 1 year

Text

enchule // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader (part 11.5 of the series)

genre: office!au, fluff, smut (minors dni) // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; profanity; oral sex (m. receiving); fingering; unprotected sex; rough handling; Jay got too carried away :( // wc: ~8.5k (I also got carried away)

previous chapters:

part 1 - carmesí part 2 - mi reina part 3 - millones part 3.5 - hasta los dientes part 4 - vente conmigo part 5 - tusa part 5.5 - apaga y vámonos part 6 - versos de placer minisode part 1 - cuando nadie ve part 6.5 - yo te quiero más minisode part 2 - la niña de mis ojos part 7 - aeropuerto minisode part 3 - falling autumn minisode part 4 - night night part 8 - ambulancia minisode part 5 - subtítulos part 9 - al caer la noche minisode part 6 - after last night part 9.5 - the way you look tonight part 10 - mon soleil minisode part 7 - daylight minisode part 8 - subside minisode part 9 - your princess, my queen part 11 - qué bonito

next chapters:

click here for the masterlist

summary: Jay had taken you to Greece for your birthday, so you decided to take him to Australia for his.

author’s notes: welcome to part 11.5! this one is 3k words longer than the original half episodes. (oops)

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, JAY! my one and only, my sun and stars, the moon of my life, the air that I breathe, and my reason to wake up every morning... initially I planned on releasing this special .5 part right on his birthday, but a lot of things happened, and I kept getting creatively cockblocked for some reason, so here we are 5 or 6 days later with a half episode that, hopefully, with its length, can quench the thirst for you readers (my dear carmesimps) out there.

after the love I received in part 11, I hope this part also suffices! warning: don't forget to regulate your breathing and stay hydrated because the smut scenes here are hot...ter than usual, if I can say so myself...

behold! the song title for this part:

will you just look at the lyrics???

I don't know what happened that my mouth liked it when I stole a kiss from you it was just a game that got out of control, the rules were broken now your name doesn't leave my mind if you want to repeat it, I remember where Baby, I show up even if it's far I feel despair if I don't see you

tell me that's not Jay?????? literally???

taglist: @jaylaxies @thots4hee @jayked @end-hyphen @nyanggk @yoursjaeyun @maggstar @bucketofhiros @dimplejaehyuncutie @excusememissiloveyou @shinkenprincess-oh @mochimchimo @jongseonglogy

(send an ask if you want to be added)

From the corner of your eye, you spotted a figure walking towards you steadily, and when he arrived right in front of you, you recognized the pair of shoes and immediately looked up.

“Remind me again why Jake is tagging along for our honeymoon?” Jay asked as he held a cardboard cup holder filled with three different drinks.

“Oh, thanks, mate,” Jake said, reaching out for his iced americano. The force of his hands almost tipped the whole cup holder, so you calmly held it in place by supporting the bottom with one hand.

“Sorry, Noona,” Jake continued. It seemed like he did not hear Jay’s complaint and was merely happy that his beverage order had arrived.

Jay sighed as he took his seat beside you, letting you hold both his drink and yours. He melted to your side and rested his head on your shoulder, to which you softly chuckled and patted his cheek with your free hand.

“This isn’t our honeymoon, it’s your birthday trip,” you explained. “We’re only gone for six days, and I want our actual honeymoon to last at least two weeks.”

“Sounds like a dream,” Jay muttered. “Do you think the company will be fine without the both of us? For fourteen business days?”

You shrugged and it made Jay’s head shake in place. “We probably need several meetings before we leave and during the honeymoon, I’ll have to check in once in a while.”

“That seems unfair. I don’t want you distracted during our honeymoon,” Jay said, pouting.

“Then I shouldn’t have married my secretary, don’t you think?” You brought your hand up and squished Jay’s cheeks, forcing him to pout his lips even more.

“If you need help and if you have a vacant position, you can hire me, Noona,” Jake chimed in, nudging your left elbow.

“You say that, yet you’re here with us,” Jay commented. “It’s because the destination is Brisbane, isn’t it?”

“Bingo,” Jake replied.

“Exactly,” you said at the same time.

Then both you and Jake snorted at the same time, and it made Jay wonder if the two of you were actually siblings.

When Jake told you a couple of weeks ago that he was going to visit his brother’s family in Brisbane, you immediately asked him a thousand questions about his plan—when he’s leaving, how long he’s staying, whether you should go and visit Brisbane with him, all the sorts. It took you a minute to realize Jay was staring at you the whole time, with a disapproving look, almost like he was hurt that you had forgotten his existence.

You found a less packed week that overlapped with Jay’s birthday, so without even asking if he approved, you cleared out both your schedules and planned your trip ahead, only notifying him three days before your flight so he would have enough time to pack. On the one hand, he was happy that you surprised him this time with a trip. On the other hand, he wished you had told him at least a week before, so he could participate in planning too.

“Just to be clear,” Jay began, clearing his throat. “You’re not tagging along for the whole time, right? Like we’re not gonna see you every day?”

“Of course not,” Jake answered. “But I’ll be on standby whenever Y/N Noona needs a tour guide. I can ask my brother for recommendations.”

“If it’s a city she grew up in, I bet she’ll be a good enough tour guide, but thanks anyways,” Jay said as he took a sip of his iced tea.

“You two speak as if I’m not sitting in between.” You shook your shoulder once and Jay immediately straightened up. “I think we’re boarding soon.”

The two guys redirected their attention to the gate, and as the staff made the announcement, the three of you stood up at the same time, gathering your belongings.

“Noona,” Jake leaned into you. “Thanks for the upgrade to business class.”

“Thank me too, the fuck,” Jay groaned, stretching his arms to the side. “It’s my birthday trip, remember?”

“Can you two stop bickering so I don’t feel like a nanny on duty?” You complained, staring at Jake and then Jay.

“Yes, Ma’am,” the two said in unison.

---

You had made the mistake of posting your trip on your private Instagram stories, and around the same time, your auntie—who was not really your aunt, just an old friend of your parents—replied to your post and demanded you come to see her. She even sent her husband to pick you up at your hotel, and you were too flustered and too polite to refuse.

Luckily, Jay is a natural at initiating conversations with new people. He offered to sit beside the driver, which was your auntie’s husband, Tim, and they began talking about the most random things regarding living in Australia, particularly Gold Coast. As the car drove along the more crowded streets, Tim explained a lot about the important places like he was a paid tour guide. It gave you enough time to respond to your family group chat, updating them about your trip.

“Are the boys not here, Auntie Nina?” You asked, looking around the room and noticing how quiet it felt.

Jay sat beside you at the dining table while you watched Tim and Nina prepare drinks and snacks. Jay leaned to whisper to you.

“Auntie Nina only has sons?”

“Three.”

“They’re all busy with work and college. My youngest is getting his master’s,” Nina smiled, walking towards the table, and placing a pitcher of iced tea and four clear glasses in the center.

“That’s wonderful,” Jay responded. “I bet he’s good in school too, huh?”

And just like that the conversation flowed naturally again. You updated them about your parents and told them a little bit about your work, and once they learned that Jay works for you, they both asked how you two met. You eyed Jay, who then tilted his chin to let you tell your version of the story, so of course, you did and had to censor some parts. Particularly the kiss in your office.

“He was just paying so much attention to me that I couldn’t help but notice him too,” you finished, tracing your finger on the outline of your glass. “I think I got lucky.”

“You’re gonna make me cry right here,” Jay said, stifling a sob.

Tim and Nina laughed at Jay, who literally had his lips quivering, and you brought your hands up to cup his face and comfort him, pouting at his cuteness. The rest of the night went by in a flash, with a delicious dinner prepared by Nina and a safe ride back to the hotel with Tim.

---

“I had a lot of fun today,” Jay said, making himself comfortable on the sofa, lying behind you.

You changed the channel on the TV, searching for a good movie. You felt like watching cable in hotels was somewhat a nostalgic activity, and you also found it quite therapeutic to just have the TV on while you keep yourself busy.

“I’m glad you did,” you replied as you placed your hand over his arm, which was now wrapped around your waist. “Jake is going to take us to the beach tomorrow.”

“I love that,” Jay muttered, kissing your shoulder. “Thank you for planning everything, babe.”

“It’s about time I return the favor.” You closed your eyes for a minute before turning your head slightly to your right, inhaling his scent. “You smell good.”

“Must be because I showered,” Jay replied nonchalantly. “You smell good too,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“Well, I haven’t showered yet, so I don’t know what you’re on.”

“I love the way you smell when you’re sweaty,” he said, tracing his finger along your shoulder and down your arm. “Reminds me of something in particular.”

You sighed heavily before you chuckled, feeling Jay’s fingers tickling your waist. “We’re not going to watch this movie, are we?” You asked.

Jay shrugged. “We can try.”

You exhaled in defeat and Jay chuckled lowly, placing his lips on the back of your shoulder, and staying there for a while. Your eyes focused on the TV and your fingers started stroking his arm that was wrapped around your chest. After a while, Jay settled into a more comfortable position, resting his head on a stack of pillows higher than yours so he could watch the movie too.

“Jay,” you called. He hummed and squeezed your waist. “After we go to the beach tomorrow, will you come with me to—”

“Yes,” he interrupted.

“You didn’t let me finish.”

“You don’t have to. ‘With me’ was all I needed to hear. I’ll go with you anywhere.”

Jay’s voice was close to your ear, and when he finished speaking you felt like you were covered in a soft and warm blanket. You smiled to yourself before bringing his hand up for you to kiss. You then carefully turned around to face him, still lying down on the sofa, and he pulled you closer to him to keep you from falling off.

“I’m so lucky,” you whispered, tracing your fingers along his jawline.

He smiled widely and your mouth mimicked his expression.

“I’m glad the feeling’s mutual,” he said, before leaving a chaste kiss on your lips.

---

Jake’s eyes widened in wonder as he observed you and Jay belting notes to Yuuri’s Shutter, which was on the playlist that you chose for the drive. Jay insisted on driving, since Jake’s brother was kind enough to lend you all his car and because Jake was not confident enough to be the man behind the wheel. Naturally, you rode shotgun and did your best to navigate the map and handle the choice of songs.

The song reached its bridge and climax, and Jake giggled at the way you and Jay both inhaled dramatically before hitting the final chorus which had a key change. The whole performance became even more dramatic with the wind blowing through the open windows, and you had to push your sunglasses up to wear as a headband to keep your hair from flying all over the place.

You heard the sound of Jake clapping from the backseat, and you turned around and looked at him in confusion. Jake grinned at you.

“Was that a sad song? It sounded sad,” Jake spoke, eyeing the screen that showed the playlist. “You both sound devastated.”

You snorted and Jay shook his head. “It’s Yuuri! What do you expect?” He protested, carefully bringing the car to a stop.

Several people crossed the street, and you quietly observed them. Jay tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and adjusted the volume of the speakers.

“And since when do you speak Japanese, Noona?” Jake asked, poking his head through the gap between you and Jay at the same time the light turned green.

“I don’t?” You said, slightly confused.

“She just has the lyrics memorized,” Jay explained. You nodded in agreement.

You proceeded to play more of Yuuri’s songs and Jake happily bobbed his head while listening to them until you all arrived at Surfer’s Paradise. It took a while to find a close enough parking spot, but when you did, you and Jake instantly turned into kids.

“Oh my God,” you gasped, watching the soft waves coming up the sand. “I’ve been wanting to come back here for ages.”

Jake jogged towards you and his hair moved up and down. “Noona! Race you to the water.”

“Aaaaaah!!!”

Jay was startled at the way you and Jake both shrieked and laughed uncontrollably as you made your way to the shore. Jake almost tripped and lost balance, and you had to stop and squat to laugh properly. You then crawled your way on the sand, only to stand up and catch up to Jake as soon as his feet hit the water.

When you turned around, you saw Jay holding up his phone, recording everything. There were wrinkles on the corners of his eyes from the way he was smiling, and it seemed like he was trying not to laugh to prevent the phone from shaking too much. Jake caught your attention by slightly splashing you with the salt water, and you flinched before you chased him down.

“I won! I won!” Jake shouted, flapping his hands around to counter your attacks. You were flinging your arms in hopes that it would hit him.

“Okay, that’s enough!” Jay raised his voice, putting his phone back in his pocket before walking towards you. “Don’t tire her.”

Jake furrowed but at the same time you started coughing, and in between coughs you explained to him that laughing and running, or talking and walking up the stairs at the same time, was one of your asthma triggers. He immediately felt bad, and he hesitantly patted your back gently as you tried to control your breathing.

“Sorry, Noona,” Jake said before eyeing Jay cautiously. “We can just sit down and chill now.”

Jay was about to nudge Jake, but you stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“I’m fine!” You insisted as you watched Jay unfold a picnic mat. The two of them waited for you to sit before taking their places beside you.

“How do you like Brisbane and Gold Coast so far, mate?” Jake asked, peering over you to look at Jay.

You smiled and lay down completely, and Jay looked at you for a split second before answering.

“I get why you two are attached to this city,” Jay replied. “It’s the perfect balance between quiet and crowded.”

“Exactly,” you chimed in, squinting your eyes to avoid the sun.

Jake continued the conversation while Jay took out cans of soda and packs of sandwiches to munch on. Whenever you started to giggle, Jay was quick to pull you up back to your sitting position, and Jake also put his hand on your back out of reflex. The three of you ended up talking about a lot of things even long after you finished your snacks, and if it weren’t for Jake checking the time, you all would have stayed even longer.

“I need to take my hyung’s car back, but before that, I can drive you guys to the hotel?” Jake offered, dusting his pants from the sand as he stood up first.

Jay looked at you and you looked back at Jake. “I actually need to drop by a friend’s home and then the pharmacy. It’s fine, we can take the train.”

“Are you sure?” Jake asked, more towards Jay than to you.

Jay nodded. “Say hi to your brother for us,” he said.

“Alright then,” Jake responded. “I’ll text you again later.”

On the train ride to your friend’s house, you fell asleep on Jay’s shoulder, and he was determined to stay awake and alert, taking over the navigating duty that was supposed to be yours. Initially, you did not want to stay for longer than an hour at your friend’s, but she and her husband insisted, and Jay was more than happy to chat more with the new people he just befriended. Before going back to the hotel, you made a stop at the local drugstore and went through a list of products that your mother had asked for.

You both arrived at the hotel later than planned and by then you were exhausted. As you were taking off your makeup, Jay leaned back on the wall beside the bathroom door, looking at you.

“Can I help you?” You asked as you realized he wasn’t going to stop staring.

Jay chuckled before putting his hands in his pockets. “Just waiting for the bathtub to fill up. What? I’m not allowed to stare at my wife?”

You smiled softly and held a cotton pad over your eyelids. “So for tomorrow, I don’t have anything grand planned. We’re just gonna stay here and go for a walk if you’d like. But then the day after that is your birthday, so you get to choose whatever you want to do.”

“Really?” Jay replied, his eyes lighting up. “Great, then I can use some time tomorrow to look up stuff to do.”

“Mm-hm.” You wiped off the residue on your face before stretching out your arms. “Are you going to take a bath now?”

“Do you wanna join me?” Jay asked as he took a couple steps towards you.

“I’m…” you paused to look at your reflection, “I’m really tired, actually.”

Jay placed his hands on your shoulders and started rubbing you gently. “That’s my point. I’ll give you a massage. Come on.”

“You know I should be the one pampering you, right?” You looked at Jay through the reflection.

He brought his hands to cup your chin and tilted your head upwards before planting a kiss on your forehead.

“It’s not my birthday yet. Just come relax with me, okay?”

There was no way you could refuse your husband, especially when he was asking so politely.

“Just a bath,” you demanded as you stood up. “Nothing more.”

Jay chuckled, but then you gave him a sharp stare and he nodded. “Nothing more,” he said, clearing his throat. He then took one step back. “After you, my love.”

---

You slowly opened your eyes and found yourself staring at the dark. When you turned your head to the right, you noticed the faint light from the sun rising outside, and you guessed that it was still way too early in the morning to be doing anything. A second later, you remembered that you had a horrible dream where you got lost in a maze, and you called for Jay, but he never appeared.

To your relief, when you turned to Jay’s side you found him there, still fast asleep. You took a deep breath before bringing your hand up to caress his face, also brushing his hair back in the process. His breath was steady, despite his eyebrows forming a frown, and you stroked his cheek before you leaned in to kiss him.

Your kiss woke him up. He stirred before he opened his eyes, and you melted right beside him, grabbing both his hands and holding them tight between yours.

“Hey,” he greeted you, his voice croaked. “Good morning.”

“Morning, baby,” you whispered, placing his palm under your cheek, and resting your head back on the pillow.

He moved his thumb across your cheek before clearing his throat. “Is everything okay?”

You nodded, and Jay shot you a tired smile. You snuggled closer to him, caging yourself in his arms and moving close enough until you could touch your lips to his neck. His arms wrapped around your waist naturally, and when you kissed his chin he chuckled, squeezing you gently.

You moved your hand to his arm and squeezed him there, and with that, he looked down at you with his eyes only half open. You tilted your head slightly, bumping your nose to his chin before you carefully grazed your lips over his. You felt his lips slowly part, and that’s when you dived in for a passionate kiss.

Holding his face close to yours and letting him press your body onto his, you kissed him deeply. You felt his tongue swipe across your bottom lip, and as you opened your mouth you moaned when you felt his tongue tug against yours. You stopped for a split second only to catch your breath before you kissed him again, your leg thrown over his waist, latching your hip onto his.

Jay’s hands traveled underneath your camisole, bunching up the fabric until his palms were the only thing keeping your back warm. He stroked your back softly and ran his fingers down your waist and to your hips as he continued to lock lips with you. For a moment, the sound of your lips smacking was the only thing you could hear, aside from the soft sound of the clock on the wall ticking.

“I want to try something,” you confessed, pulling away only to find a strand of saliva connecting your lips and his.

Jay leaned in for one last kiss before he replied. “What is it?”

As much as you wanted to stay in his arms, to feel his hands run through your hair and along your back, you wanted to pamper him. You wanted him to feel more pleasure, so you had to fight yourself from staying in place.

“Just a second,” you whispered before pushing yourself away from him. His arms stayed there for a while as he watched you take off your top and sit straight, leaning against the headboard. “Come sit between my legs,” you demanded.

Jay’s eyes squinted in confusion, but his body was quick to react. He shuffled out of the covers to go to you, but before he could settle, you clicked your tongue.

“I want you naked, though.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

His tone of enthusiasm, in contrast with his messy bed hair, made you chuckle. He got undressed in seconds, and you reached out your arms when he made his way between your legs, resting his back against your chest.

“Oh,” he sighed, “this feels good.”

“I haven’t even started.”

“No, I know,” Jay rested his head on your right shoulder. “I just know it’s gonna be good.”

You had to hold yourself back from rolling your eyes, so you grabbed his chin and pressed your lips roughly against his, earning a light chuckle from him.

“Just relax, okay?” You mumbled against his lips.

“Are you comfortable? I don’t want to be leaning or pressing too hard on you,” Jay said, his eyes flickered from your lips to your chest.

Unbelievable, you thought. On the verge of receiving pleasure, he was still thinking of you.

“I’m fine, baby, thank you,” you replied, kissing his temple. Jay then relaxed and placed his hands on your thighs.

You began caressing his chest, trailing your fingers from his nipples, down to his abs and the v-line that always drives you crazy. You noticed his breath hitched once he saw your hands moving downwards, and you had to press your lips to his ear to give him reassurance.

“Relax,” you whispered.

You reached for his penis with your left hand, bringing your right hand back up to his nipple to pinch and play with it in hopes that it will get him hard fast. He flinched before he relaxed in your touch, occasionally whimpering when he felt that you were pinching too hard. Your hand moved up and down his shaft, continuing the motion until you felt him gradually harden in between your fingers.

“There he is,” you chuckled softly, lips grazing his earlobe. “A good morning to you, Sir.”

At this point, Jay was moaning at your every touch, and he even shifted in his seat once he felt your lips pressed against his neck. You began sucking softly, determined to make him feel enough pleasure but without leaving a noticeable mark. You continued kissing him down his shoulder while stroking his cock, which was now fully erect.

“Show me how you like it,” you requested. “Use your hands and show me.”

“What?” Jay asked, confused. He didn’t realize that his breath had become heavier. “But I’ve barely touched myself since we started—”

“I know,” you responded. You kissed his neck again for reassurance and he sighed contentedly. “I just want to see how you used to pleasure yourself.”

You had moved your hands up to his biceps and you were stroking him there. With one squeeze, he began palming himself with one hand as he adjusted his position between your legs. You observed quietly as you paid close attention to the motion of his hands—the way he took long strokes from top to bottom, the way he ends each stroke with a slight squeeze towards the tip, the way his head fell back when he increased the speed. You noticed how he was almost panting like it was too much and he was trying to hold back.

“I don’t… Do you… Should I do this until I cum?”

The uncertainty in his voice and the submissive nature of it made you fall for him more, as if that was even possible. You nodded and gently nudged the side of his head with yours.

“You can cum if you want, baby.”

“But,” Jay paused before he opened his eyes and looked at you. “I want you to make me cum.”

And how could you refuse?

“Okay,” you whispered, kissing his lips. “Do you want my hands?” You kissed him again. “Or my mouth?” You kissed his jawline. “Or do you want my pussy?” You kissed his earlobe.

You could basically feel Jay shiver under your touch before he answered you, only after taking a considerable amount of time to decide.

“Your… mouth,” Jay muttered. “Can I?”

“Of course.”

You stretched out your legs and moved from behind Jay, making him rest his back against the headboard. He leaned comfortably after you placed a couple of pillows behind his back, and once he was set you crawled your way downwards, taking your position this time between his legs.

The sight of you on all fours with your ass up and your head over his crotch made him groan. You saw his cock twitch and decided to put him out of his misery. He had been a good boy, after all, listening to your requests and delivering, so you kissed the tip of his cock before putting it into your mouth.

You almost gagged from the way his length quickly filled up your mouth, and you could hear him shudder from the single move. You began bobbing your head up and down, coating his shaft with your saliva, and you felt his fingers very carefully brush your hair away from your face before bunching them up into a ponytail. He kept holding your hair as you continued your ministrations, and every whimper or moan that you heard from him served as your sole motivation.

You tried taking his whole length in, and you felt your jaw stretch a little too wide. The pause in your movements made him concerned, so he tried his best to comfort you by reaching out for your hand. You took his hand in yours, and you continued to suck him, alternating between kisses and kitten licks too.

“I’m c-close,” Jay whimpered. His body was shaking involuntarily, and you were secretly proud of yourself that you were able to make him feel this way.

You pulled your lips away from his cock with a pop, and you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand before you spoke. “You can cum in my mouth, baby.”

“Are you sure?” He asked.

You hummed and quickly put his length in between your lips again. You heard him mutter several curse words as you continued, and when you felt his hips start to thrust upwards, you held him in place by gripping his waist. The grip of his hand that was holding your hair up began to loosen, and after one last suck, you felt him release in your mouth. You were lucky you braced yourself, otherwise it would have ended in a choking mess.

You couldn’t take all of his cum, so when you pulled away some of it was dripping down your chin. You swallowed the rest, though, and when you looked at him, he was looking back at you in awe.

“It’s not my birthday yet, is it?” He asked, breathless.

You wiped your bottom lip with your thumb as you chuckled, and you shook your head as you made your way up to him, straddling him in the process.

“Fuck. Thank you for that,” Jay said as soon as your face was level with his. “Kiss me.”

“You sure?” You halted, hovering over his body before he pulled you in by the neck, licking your lips clean and kissing you feverishly.

“Wait,” he said all of a sudden, pulling back. You frowned. “Your turn.”

He placed his hands on your hips and slammed you down on his crotch, earning a surprised yelp from you. You then chuckled and he did the same, kissing you only after you relaxed on top of him.

“If you keep kissing me like this, I think I can cum,” you whispered against his lips.

“Is that a challenge?” Jay taunted, his fingers moving down to push your panties to the side. “If it is, get ready.”

You moaned into his mouth as soon as you felt his fingers graze your folds. With just one touch, you were already shaking from pleasure, and it didn’t help that he was nibbling your lips and kissing you like oxygen was only coming out of your mouth. He inserted one finger, and then two, and when he put in his third finger you gasped for air, unlatching your mouth from his.

“Jay,” you panted. “It’s too much.”

You felt his fingers curl inside of you and you whimpered, your body shaking as your head fell to his shoulder. You rested your forehead there as support, and you were grabbing his arms for dear life.

“Jay,” you whined helplessly.

“Oh, come on, baby,” Jay spoke right into your ear. Somehow you could hear him smirk. “You always take my dick so well. Surely, three fingers are nothing?”

You moaned again as he began moving his fingers in and out of you faster, and although you had already lost track of time, you knew that it took you less time to cum compared to him. Within a minute you were already a shaking, moaning mess on his lap, and you couldn’t even complain when you heard him chuckle proudly, his chest moving against yours during the process.

Jay’s fingers slipped out of you and as he brought them up to his face, you could see the way they were coated with your cum. But then he swiped his index finger over your lips, as if applying lip balm, before taking all three fingers into his mouth and sucking them clean.

“You’re fucking crazy,” you sighed, one hand latched onto his shoulder and your head resting against the crook of his neck.

He chuckled and your body moved with his.

“You’re welcome, baby.”

---

You walked out of the bedroom and into the living room all dressed up and covered in a light coat, and when Jay noticed you, he had to do a double take, completely abandoning his attention over his phone.

“Where are you going?” He asked, quickly eyeing your outfit from head to toe.

“I just need to pick up something from the lobby,” you said, waving your hand to emphasize that it wasn’t something of his concern.

“You’ll be back soon, right?” Jay asked again, sounding slightly worried.

You nodded. “Of course, I will, baby.”

You blew Jay a flying kiss and he made smooching faces back at you before you headed out the door. Jay then picked up his phone and continued his search for must-do activities that might fit into your schedule tomorrow. He must have been completely immersed because the next thing he knew you were already back, while he felt like you left only two minutes ago. You were holding a suspicious box, and you smiled as you made your way to the coffee table in front of the sofa Jay was sitting on.

“Now I know your birthday is tomorrow, but I figured we could get the cake a day early and eat it when the clock strikes midnight or something,” you explained without waiting for him to ask. “That is, of course, if you want to.”

Jay had never heard you sound so unsure, or were you being nervous? Either way, he found you absolutely adorable, and he smiled widely as he put away his phone and leaned in.

“What cake is it?” He asked.

“Chocolate,” you replied. You saw him raise an eyebrow. “Your favorite. The expensive kind.”

Jay chuckled lightly and shook his head. You excused yourself to put the cake in the fridge and you trotted back to your original spot, standing in front of the TV. Jay looked up at you in question, tilting his head, while you took a deep breath.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you muttered to yourself while at the same time checking that it was two hours left until Jay’s big day.

“What is happening?” Jay said, his tone curious.

You sighed, taking your phone out and setting the volume to the max before choosing a song that definitely sounded seductive. You placed your phone on the table and began undoing the belt of your coat.

“Mr. Park Jongseong,” you spoke. “This dance is for you.”

You began moving your hips to the beat of the song and Jay’s jaw dropped. As you pulled the belt off and tugged the coat down, it pooled to the floor and revealed the tightest dress you have ever worn wrapped around your body.

“Oh my God,” Jay said under his breath.

The dress, colored in Jay’s favorite shade of green, hugged your curves in all the right places. The spaghetti straps were barely holding it over your chest, and you were fully aware that Jay was already looking at your protruding nipples. You lifted your leg to take off your shoes, and the tight skirt of the dress rode up your thigh. Jay licked his lips and leaned back on the sofa, amused and obviously ready for whatever you had prepared for him.

You continued to sway slowly, trying your best to keep your moves subtle and in sync with the music. You made a gesture of hugging yourself, and in the process, one of the straps slid down your shoulder. You heard Jay take a deep breath, and you looked at him as you pulled the other strap down before taking a step closer to him.

“Y/N,” Jay muttered, adjusting his position on the sofa. It was clear that your little dance was making him hot and bothered, exactly how you wanted him to be.

Very carefully, you kneeled on the floor, feeling the softness of the rug brush against your knees. You reached for Jay’s hand, which was resting on top of his thigh, and tugged on it slightly just to kiss the back of it, like he was a king that you worshipped. You then moved back and sat on the balls of your feet, stretching your arms to the side and up before bringing them back down like it was one of the most important moves of your rehearsed choreography.

Then, you sat and faced the side, bringing your knees up to your chest, which obviously made the dress ride up even further. You could feel Jay’s eyes glued on you, and you rested the palms of your hands to your side, pushing them to your back as you slowly lay back down, keeping only your ass on the floor and your back arched.

Jay scoffed before he palmed his erection over his jeans, and you smiled as you sat back up and began crawling your way to him. You put both hands on his knees and he immediately grabbed them, pulling you up and onto his lap. You whimpered when you felt his clothed hard-on rub against your bare cunt, and he realized you were not wearing underwear only after he slid his hands on your thighs and under your dress.

“Fuck, baby,” Jay hissed. “You really came prepared.”

You hummed and he smiled, strengthening his grip on your thighs. You took one of his hands off and brought them up to your chest, tugging on your dress. He immediately pulled it down, revealing your tits and erect nipples.

“God,” he whispered. “Thank you for this meal.”

Jay latched his lips on your tit and you giggled, welcoming him in your embrace and resting your hand on the back of his head. He licked, sucked, and kissed your boobs so hungrily yet also so tenderly, and there was no way you could keep your eyes open throughout the whole process. His other hand pulled your dress down completely, making it bunch around your waist. His hips began thrusting upwards, and you winced as you felt the rough fabric cause friction between your folds.

“You know,” you began, breathless, “this would be better if we took it to the bedroom.

Jay did not stop kissing you. In fact, he moved his mouth upwards and started sucking your neck while his hands traveled down to your thighs, gripping them tightly before he stood up with a grunt. He bit down on your neck, and you stifled back a moan, and as he maneuvered the both of you to the bedroom, you had to be his eyes and his ears.

“Don’t drop me,” you warned. “Don’t bump me into a wall either.”

Jay smiled and moved to kiss your chin, and before you knew it he had thrown you on the bed, gently, if that was even possible. He wasted no time in undressing, pulling the top of his white shirt over his head and unbuttoning his jeans. When he started unzipping, though, he paused to look at you.

“Wait, babe,” he began, “you were done with your dance, right?”

You chuckled. “The goal was to get you to carry me to bed, so yes, mission accomplished.”

Jay smirked as he pulled his jeans down with his boxers. He then tugged on your dress around your waist, and you lifted up your hips so he could take it off completely.

“Did you just buy that dress for me to take off?” He asked.

You nodded innocently, and Jay let out a breathy chuckle before he hovered over you.

“Thank you for the little show, baby,” he said, caressing your face. “You’re so fucking sexy.” He kissed your lips. “I mean, fuck.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, and he smiled so wide that the corner of his eyes crinkled. “Practicing that was so embarrassing for me.”

Jay frowned. “You practiced?”

“In my mind,” you clarified. “It almost took a toll on me. Could you tell that I was nervous?”

Jay was kissing your neck as you spoke, and he laughed onto your skin. His finger then trailed down your waist and quickly reached your core, and he drew a line along your folds which instantly made your breath hitch.

“From this, I can tell you were just aroused as I was,” he whispered, sucking softly on your neck. “Am I right, baby?”

You whimpered before nodding slowly. “Yes,” you whispered back.

Jay then grabbed you by the waist and flipped you over, making you sit on his toned abs as he relaxed and placed his hands under his head.

“Ride me, baby,” he requested. “Give me an encore.”

You placed your hands on his shoulder and scooted downwards until you felt his shaft press against your core. Jay groaned and moved his hips up, and you had to palm his chest to keep him from moving.

“Go on,” he continued. His position was relaxed, seemingly determined to just watch you do your thing.

You began slowly rubbing your folds along his shaft, from the bottom up and then back again. With every stroke, you moaned softly, and your eyes were closed but Jay was observing your face closely. It drove him crazy how you practically looked intoxicated, and he was motivated to watch you keep going.

“That’s it, baby,” he commented. “Just grind on me like that.”

Your movements became faster, and your moans gradually became louder too.

“Keep going,” Jay whispered. “You look so beautiful, baby.”

You whined as you continued rubbing against him, and you were desperate for more.

“I don’t want to cum yet,” you muttered. “Not now.”

“Put it in, baby,” Jay said, bringing one hand to your thigh to stroke it. “We can take it slow.”

You lifted your hips and reached for his cock, aligning his tip to your entrance. You then sank slowly on him as your eyes rolled back, and you heard Jay letting out a shaky breath as he completely filled you up.

“Oh my God, Jay,” you whined. “You’re stretching me out so good. You’re so big.”

Normally you would leave the words of affirmation in the form of desperate whines and moans, but for tonight, you wanted him to hear exactly what you were thinking of, and from the way his Adam’s apple bobbed you knew it was something he liked.

“Tell me how it feels, baby,” he said, squeezing your hips.

“So good,” you whimpered, feeling him twitch inside of you. “You feel so… so good.”

Seeing how you, a woman who is usually good with words, repeat the same thing three times already boosted Jay’s ego. His hands moved to your ass, and he squeezed you there, earning another lewd moan from you.

“J-Jay…”

“Mmhm, baby,” Jay replied as he began thrusting. “Tell me more.”

Jay pushed himself up with his elbows and you rested your arms on his shoulder until he sat all the way up, staying inside of you. Your chest was now pressed against his, and he moved his face closer to yours, only close enough for your noses to brush against each other.

“I…” you began after licking your lips, “I want you to fill me up all night.”

Jay smiled before giving your lips a peck. “Do you think you can handle that, baby?”

His hands squeezed your ass harder, pushing them towards him and guiding the way you grinded your hips. Your breath gradually became heavier.

“I want to,” you continued. “I want you inside me. I want your lips on me. On my lips, on my neck, on my—”

You moaned when you felt him lick and suck on the skin beneath your jaw. Your grip on his shoulder tightened.

“On my pussy, too,” you finished your sentence with great effort.

“Hmm?” Jay hummed in response. “Do you want me to switch and put my lips down there now?”

“No!” You replied without missing a beat and sounding way too pathetic. “Not now, you’re still filling me up so good.”

Jay chuckled. Again with ‘so good’, as if those were the only words you could use to describe the feeling.

“Tell me what you want me to do right now.”

“Your hand on the back of my head,” you said. Jay did so. “Pull my hair and make me tilt my head so you can—”

You breathed shakily when you felt him suck on your skin, bruising your neck even further. You were sure you would be left with hickeys all over, but you didn’t care.

“What else, baby?” Jay mumbled against your skin.

“Stop asking me and just be rough,” you answered. “Please?”

Jay kissed you passionately and slid his tongue along your lips before pulling away. He held your ass up and slid out of you, only to hold you by your hips and turn you around. You immediately got on all fours and pushed your ass up, and when you felt his cock align with your cunt again you bunched up the sheets in your hands.

You moaned with every thrust Jay made, and his grip was strong on your hips. Your ass slapped against his pelvis, and the lewd sound echoed throughout the room along with your whimpers and his grunts. He heard you whisper ‘harder’, and he was more than happy to do so, hearing your moans go even louder.

You felt Jay’s hand move down from your hips to your thighs, and it took you a while to realize he was maneuvering you both to lie down on your sides. He pulled you towards him until your back was pressed against his chest, and with one hand he lifted up your leg before entering you again. The position allowed him to hit you on the right spot, and you screamed his name almost a little too loud. He continued to thrust into you, his skin slapping against yours, his grip firm against your thigh, and his teeth sinking into your skin like you were his prey.

“Jay…” you called, running out of breath.

Jay maintained the same pace but exerted more strength, pushing your leg even further up.

“Jay,” you called again, feeling tears beginning to pool in your eyes from the mixture of pleasure and pain.

You heard him grunt against your ear and you felt his other hand squeezing your boob a little too hard.

“Jay,” you tried again. “You’re hurting me.”

His movements stopped in an instant. His grip on your thigh loosened and you slowly felt him sliding out of you.

“No,” you reached to grab his hand in yours. “Stay inside.”

“Baby,” he called, his voice hoarse.

You rested your leg and brought your hand to your nape. Jay immediately put his hand over yours as he slid out of you completely. You were about to protest, but you were met with his eyes full of worry.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he hovered over you. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

You licked your lips before bringing your hand up to caress his face. “Just give me a minute, okay?”

Jay nodded and you closed your eyes. You then felt him kissing your forehead ever so softly, making a soft smacking sound. He then kissed you down your nose, to your left cheek, and your right, before moving down to kiss your jawline. He kissed your neck next, lingering on the parts where your skin started to turn purple. You caressed the back of his head, almost encouraging him to continue. You felt his lips against yours and you pouted, reciprocating the kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled against your lips.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him despite the single tear trickling down your left eye.

“We can stop if you want—”

You shook your head quickly and palmed his cheek. He placed one hand over yours as he held himself up with his other arm.

“I want to finish with you,” you begged. “Please?”

You felt Jay’s breath hot against your face when he nodded. He brought himself down on his elbows and kissed your cheek once again before he entered you, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist.

“I promise I’ll be gentle,” he whispered before brushing your hair back.

You nodded. “Please keep kissing me.”

Jay kept his word and his lips latched onto yours as he resumed his strokes, going a lot slower and deeper compared to before. Your hands caressed his shoulders and moved down to his biceps, and you tried your best to reciprocate all his kisses while touching every part of his body that you could reach. Your hands rested on his back as his hips began to stutter, and when your walls clenched around him during your release, he groaned into your neck and came soon after.

Usually after a long session, Jay would collapse on top of you and relax as you brushed his hair, but for now, he was quick to move to your side, relieving you of his weight. His eyes concentrated on your face as he started to stroke your waist softly with his hands.

“Y/N?” He called. “Baby…”

You licked your lips before rolling to your side to face him.

“Forgive me, love,” he whispered. “I really wasn’t thinking—”

“It’s okay, Jay,” you chuckled weakly. “If anything, I feel sorry for killing the mood.”

“You did not kill the mood.”

“For being too weak then.”

Jay frowned and immediately propped himself up with one elbow. “You are not weak.”

“Fine,” you smiled, closing your eyes. “Maybe I’m just a little too old.”

You didn’t hear a response, so you opened your eyes, and you found Jay staring at you with teary eyes.

“Please don’t say that,” he muttered. “I feel horrible for hurting you. I swear I’m never going to be rough—”

“Now hold on,” you stopped him. You then chuckled lightly before tugging on his arm gently, making him lie down again. “I liked it. When you were being rough. Maybe we just need a safe word, that’s all. I think I called you three times to get you to pause.”

“Fuck,” Jay groaned. “I’m going to punish myself.”

“Look at me.”

The switch in your tone immediately made Jay comply, and only then you noticed how his face was covered in sweat, and maybe some tears mixed with it too.

“I don’t want this to change anything,” you said. “Promise me?”

Jay shook his head, and it made you frown.

“You need to understand that hurting you is the last thing I want to do. Actually, it’s not even on my list. So next time you want me to go rough, I’ll do so but very carefully.”

You snorted. “So, not rough then?”

“My beautiful, beautiful wife,” Jay whispered, scooting closer to you. “Please forgive me for now and we’ll use this as a learning point for future sessions.”

Jay pulled you into him and began leaving kisses all over your face, not the gentle feathery kind but the wet and aggressive type, making you chuckle and close your eyes as a precaution.

“Okay, okay,” you finally said, placing a palm over his chest. “By the way,” you continued after taking a quick peek at the clock, “Happy birthday, my love.”

Jay turned to find that it was three minutes past midnight and when he looked back at you, you were smiling at him and looking at him with full adoration.

“I can’t believe I ruined my own birthday present,” Jay said. “Your dance was so good and I had to go and ruin it.”

You grew tired of him feeling bad, so you exhaled and pushed yourself away from him, and he frantically tried to keep you in his embrace.

“Okay, okay! I’ll stop apologizing. Just stay in my arms.”

“I said happy birthday,” you mumbled against his chest.

Jay began running his fingers through your hair gently. “Thank you, baby. I’m lucky I get to spend it with you for the rest of my life.”

You couldn’t help but smile so wide. Jay then cleared his throat.

“You’re smiling, aren’t you?”

You smacked his arm, and he winced out of surprise. After a short session of soft slapping and tickling, he began caressing your thigh that was now thrown over his waist.

“Do you like your birthday trip so far?” You asked, resting your palm on his cheek and caressing him there with your thumb.

Jay nodded. “It’s been lovely.”

“Good. Then you need to outdo it later when it’s my birthday again,” you demanded, gently slapping his cheek repeatedly with your hand.

“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am,” Jay said, saluting you.

You giggled and pinched his cheek. “Kiss me, you dork.”

“Yes, Boss,” Jay whispered before sealing your lips with a kiss.

As you felt his plush lips against your lips and his tongue dancing with yours, you were reminded once again about how much, and how deeply your husband loves you.

"Should we have some of that chocolate cake now?"

Jay's voice broke your train of thought, but even if he could break every part of your body, you would still love him just as much.

-END-

read the next part: meet cute

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aphroditesbaby1616 · 16 days

Text

Sunflower 🌻

Syd x Carmy one-shot

♡ Summary: A/U where after graduating from the CIA at the top of her class, Syd goes on a food tour in NYC & ends up hooking up with the most talented CDC, at the best restaurant in the world.

♡ W/C: 3,434

♡ Posted Date: 04/12/2024

♡ A/N: This is pure filth I tried adding some plot- I hope it turned out the way I saw it in my head. As always requests are open - for SydCarmy, CarmyxReader as usual! I hope you enjoy :)

♡ Warnings for BTC: Smutsmutsmut nsfw 18+ - Oral (m receiving) , Barely edited bc we die like men.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

Sydney Adamu had just graduated top of her class at the Culinary Institute of America. She’d been hunkering down with her dad, for a long four years, she was desperate to get out of there. She already had a plan all set up.

She’d take the last bit of money her grandfather had given her for college, and make a catering business of her very own. It would be dedicated to her parents, (of course) Syd’s hopeless romanticism was thanks to their perfect, beautiful love story of course. She’d known since sophomore year of culinary school - Sheridan Road would be her baby.

She’d settled on this idea - with any possible odd’s and ends money she’d made during her CIA training - she’d go out for as long as it would last her. She’d learn, study, and observe, then- create her catering business, with the confidence she’d gotten a taste of the very goal she had, a star. Well - three would be absolutely fucking insanity to her- but one? One she felt like if she had it? Her father would believe she was in a real line of work, instead of just happy she was perusing her own happiness.

It was the perfect plan in her mind. She’d already set aside the amount of money, with extra safety net, for all of the licensures, and documentation she’d need- as well as her commercial kitchen rental she’d make the food out of. Then - with the extra 5k she had left over, she booked a full food tour of the most prestigious, luxurious restaurants in NYC.

She’d planned the tour 6 months before she graduated, since the 3 restaurants wouldn’t even accept a reservation if it wasn’t made out any later then that, and when she walked the stage, 3 days later she was on the train into the city.

She’d be staying at a decent hotel for 12 days. Each day, she’d be having one large meal including an app, two main courses, 2 cocktails, and 1 dessert from a Michelin starred restaurant. She would be staying 4 days for 1 star, 4 for 2 stars, and 4 for 3 stars.

The schedule was as followed;

Monday - Hirohisa *

Tuesday - Dirt Candy *

Wednesday - The Musket Room *

Thursday - The Red Paper Clip *

Friday - Atera **

Saturday - Jungsik **

Monday - Saga **

Tuesday - Daniel **

Wednesday - Per Se ***

Thursday - Le Bernadin ***

Friday - Masa ***

Saturday - 11 Madison Park ***

When she’d got off at Penn station- she was nearly vibrating with excitement - she quickly brushed passed people grabbing their obnoxious suitcases in the overhead compartments.

“Sorry! ‘Scuse me! Fuck- shit sorry- exscuse me!!!- whoops! Sorry- scuse me- aah! Ugh- I Didn’t mean to- oop- oh- Jesus!! Excuse me!!” She rambled, frustration building in her chest. Getting off The L wasn’t this hard- why did Amtrak feel worse?!

She took a deep breath, her nose scrunching.

Mm. So instead of cow shit - smog, I feel at home already.

She’d thought to herself as she briskly walks with the crowd towards the exit she meant to take onto fifth.

She slipped her wired headphones into her ears, texting her father

‘made it!! Love you daddy!!’

Before opening her Spotify, hitting one of her comfort albums, Broken Clocks, as she walked briskly outside - the crisp city air hitting her like a ton of bricks.

She leaned against the brick of the McDonald’s next door, avoiding the streams of people going down and up the sidewalk, taking a deep breath. She’d not been to New York before, she’d grown up in Chicago- been to the city more times then she can count, but the suburbs were her home. Being in the city- and let alone- a city like Manhattan versus Chicago- she was looking around, trying to gather her wits - and quickly. She clicked the maps application on her iPhone 7, tugging her umbrella out of the water bottle pocket of her backpack and tucking it under her arm as she typed the address to her hotel and clicking for the walking directions.

It honestly kind of pissed her off that each day’s food was better than the last. She’d wanted to not give a shit about stars and just focus on giving people an experience to remember - but it was cut & dry that now that she’d tasted this kind of food - she was going to do whatever she could to become as talented as the chefs that made it.

But - she hadn’t even tried the best yet.

The best, the best, THE best.

She honestly couldn’t believe she was going to be trying the food from Eleven Madison Park - but she couldn’t help but be so nervous. Every other Michelin starred restaurant she’d been to - the dress code was Formal attire. But this one? THE best restaurant in the fucking world? Oh- they just say on their website ‘many of our guests dress up for the occasion, but we do not have a dress code’

Her entire trip, She’d been cycling through 2 very different floor length gowns. One of which she wore to her graduation, and the other she’d found at Windsor on sale but it did the job. She didn’t wear luxury attire often, okay? She was too busy being Culinary school for Christ sakes! And tonight she couldn’t for the life of her choose which one she’d wear.

This being because she was attending a main dining room tasting, which was ten courses. Easy, luxury dining courses were stupidly small. But- she was also trying their bar tasting menu which was an extra four courses. Sitting at a bar in that stupid fluffy dress for two hours would not be comfortable. But- again- best. restaurant. in. the. WORLD!!!

She knew for a fact that she would be mad at herself if she got there and everyone around was dressed to the nines, but - for comfortability sake she went with the simple silken red gown.

The front of house service was literally perfect. She was glad she’d brought a new notebook, because she’d never have had enough space to take all the notes she was taking tonight in the one she’d been using the majority of the trip. Their staff was very casually mannered, and they made it very easy to order. Everything was very calm and comfortable, the furniture felt very luxurious in the sense of comfortability.

After she just had the best meal of her entire life, she knew she had to speak with the person who made it. Her mind was blown for lack of a better word. The food was fucking incredible. She had a rule to keep herself able to taste as much as possible: she was only allowed one bite of each dish, but here- she couldn’t just limit herself to one. Each dish she was taking 2 even 3 bites- but when she got to the sunflower dish? It was brilliant. She finished every bite, she couldn’t not. It would be sinful to waste it. And the only thing on her mind was that she had to talk to the chef who’d made it.

Her waiter comes back to her table, giving her back her card and receipt.

“Thank you for dining with us this evening, have a wonderful night” he told her

“Thank you- Um- may I speak with the chef who made the sunflower plate please? I’d like to pay my compliments in person if possible.” She asked hopefully.

“Of course, that would be Chef Carmen- give me just a moment I’ll go get him for you” he nodded and headed back to the kitchen. She looked over her notes, remembering the questions she’d wanted to ask about the dish.

Carmen, she wondered if he’d been named after the saint. His talent was surely straight from the hands of the Mother of Christ.

Shes interrupted from writing in her notebook by a husky, silvery voice

“Excuse me- I was told you’d like to speak to me, I’m Chef Carmen, I made your sunflower dish this evening.”

“Hey- I’m Sydney - that dish was- ” she stood up to face him- and when she realized who was in front of her, her heart began to race. Of course, she’d thought, of course - only a JBA contestant could come up with a dish so ingenious.

“Oh- um…Hi.. Hello- you’re like -” she blinked a few times, in utter shock. “You’re Carmen Berzatto“ She swallowed thickly.

Sydney was obsessed with this industry- she stalked the JBA website every year to see who would be nominated, dreaming that some day she’d be on that list. Being even nominated would allow her to die happily feeling as if she’d won a fucking Nobel Prize. That was how much she respected those damn awards.

“I am” he said and cleared his throat nervously.

“Well- firstly congratulations on your nomination- you like- if it was up to me you’d win because that sunflower dish was-” they’re interrupted by one of the food runners coming over

“Chef Carmen- Chef Daemon requests you in back of house now.” she said urgently, the girl looked like she was on the brink of tears as she continued taking the tray of food over to the table it was meant for.

“So sorry, i’d love to hear what you have to say but uh…” he trailed off.

“Yeah- yeah- sorry, sorry I wont keep you-” she said and he shook his head a bit

“No- no- um… I mean -” he wouldnt usually be so bold, but his ass was going to literally be kicked if he didnt get back there in the next 5 seconds. “I’m gonna go out for a smoke at 11:15. If you wanted to keep talkin’ ill be there” he said before heading back to the kitchen.

Sydney was nearly shaking - there were so so many things she wanted to ask him. She also realized he was much - infinitely hotter in person - how that was even possible? She remained unsure. She had reapplied her lipgloss and her perfume, nervously pacing back and forth along the sidewalk.

She hears the back door open and she looked over, out emerging the greek god incarnate she somehow got so lucky as to run in to tonight. “Hey!” she said with her famous warm smile.

He didnt return it, actually- he looked pissed. She swallowed thickly, rubbing her lips together nervously “Hey - sorry again I uh- fuckin’ boss” he muttered, fishing his cigarettes out of his pocket.

“No- don’t apologize please, I totally get it. I mean, you're the CDC at literally the best restaurant in the world. I wouldn’t have bugged you if I knew, I mean- my table, like- I’m not a critic..I guess I should have clarified cause of the notebook thing but they usually are more…low key? I thought? Do they usually just come and whip out a notebook? That would make it easier I think… But nonetheless I’m so so grateful to have been able to eat a meal that-“ she rambled on anxiously but he stops her.

“You talk when y’nervous” he said with a small smirk, lighting the cigarette between his lips and inhaling, leaning against the brick.

“Uh-” she stuttered, her face feeling hot suddenly. “Sorry- I’ve uh… i’ve been told” she chuckled a bit, taking a few steps towards him and leaning on the brick only 2 feet or so between them.

“It’s charming, y’smoke?” he offered her the pack with a red top, she looked down at it.

“I don’t- not- not yet anyways” she joked, crossing a slim arm over her waist. He couldn't help but realize how the action made her breasts more prominent.

“You’re a chef?” he asked, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Yes! Yes- well.. Just graduated, not working anywhere yet- I’m going home soon to try and start my own catering thing…” she explained and he nodded.

“Where’d y’graduate from?” he asked, exhaling the smoke away from her direction.

“CIA - 2 weeks ago, Valedictorian actually, y’not the only chef around here with street cred” she joked and he chuckled.

“Really? Word. Thats sick, good job. Y’said y’re headed home? Where’s that?” he asked, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“Chicago! Can’t wait to get back, Hudson life is… not for me- I forgot how convenient public transportation was” she said.

He raised his brows in surprise, “Chicago huh? Thats my old home base.” he said

“I know! You’re actually… really famous did you know that? Like- they talk all about you during lectures, you’re the new golden child of the culinary world” she teased and he rolled his eyes playfully.

They’d been inching closer and closer without realizing throughout the whole conversation, she was now so close that she could see the barely there scar on his cheek, her focus locked on it. His gaze was locked on her plump lips and he was imagining how they’d feel around his cock.

“I do unfortunately - you’ll learn soon enough that praise means being a target in this industry.” He said

She bit her lip, meeting his striking blue eyes once again. “I really meant to tell you earlier was that sunflower dish was the best meal i’ve ever had. And i’m not just…sucking your dick because you’re you - I knew that before I knew you made it” she laughed a bit.

He followed suit, “Well if you want to- i’m not gonna say no.” he said and her eyes widened a bit, feeling her core pooling with heat at the idea. Of course he was half joking. It was so sudden and out there he would have never expected her to indulge him.

“I mean- here? What if your boss comes out?” she asked, a bit quieter as if she was trying to assure they’d not be caught.

He nodded towards the row of 12-wheeler trucks parked 50 or so feet away. “Haven’t moved in 6 weeks” he shrugged casually “Lead the way Chef” she motioned with her hand, a frisky smirk on her lips.

“Holy fuuuck” Carmy groaned, pushing his cock deeper into her tight hot mouth. “Y’like takin cock like this mmm? Y’like bein’ my little fuckin slut?” he muttered, thumbing away the warm tear that was gathering in the corner of her right eye. “So fuckin’ good f’me-” he growled, moaning at the wet gurgling noises emitting from her.

She swallowed around him, looking up at him with tear-filled dark lustful brown eyes, widening her jaw further and tonguing over the pulsing vein on the underside of his length, gently squeezing his thighs to urge him further.

“Y’want me t’fuck y’throat? Mmm? Dirty fuckin girl” he gathered her braids into his fist, wrapping them around his palm and roughly tugging her off.

She whined hotly, the sensation of his rough hand sending waves of pleasure through her being. “Please” she said wantingly, tonguing over his slit before wrapping her lips around the tip of his head in a sensual kiss.

He took his thumb, pulling her jaw open wide and thrusting into her mouth with a satisfied grunt. “Y’know-shhhit y’know what? I think this is the only way t’shut y’ass up? Mmm?” he inhales sharply as she pushed his foreskin back and spit on his exposed sensitive tip.

“Jesus fuckin-” he sharply inhaled through his teeth as she gently grazed her teeth over the sensitive head, his abs clenching in pleasure and hips quivering from the overstimulation “fuckin-h-aaaa-ahhh-mm-shhhhit-jesus fuckin christ” he whimpered, his head falling back against the metal with a sharp bang as she took the flesh into her mouth, flicking her tongue sharply over the weeping tip before smoothly sucking over the buzzing stimulation. He knew if she kept up the act he’d be filling her mouth with his seed within seconds.

“S-sooo fuckin filthy - y’want my cum in y’throat? Mmm? Little fuckin whore- h-holy-oh god- i-” he nearly suffocated her as he buried his cock further down her throat. He reached down, his fingers rubbing along his thick length buried in her warm tight throat.

“F-fuuuuuck- ah- oh shhh- mmm- thats it- thaaaaaat’s it- good fuckin girl” he grumbled, roughly and sloppily guiding her head in such a way that the noises being made if it weren’t her he would think theyre overdramatic and disgusting. He also didn’t know where the hell all of this talking was coming from.

Normally in the bedroom, he was quiet. Very quiet. The only way the women he was with knew he’d enjoyed himself was if he even came at all. Sex usually wasn’t about his own pleasure since in the presence of another he found it so hard to get off - it was more about giving him imagery that would help him later in regards to finishing.

“You are so fuckin good at that huh? You take my cock so well such a good fuckin girl” his jaw goes slack as she put her hands on his hips to steady him and slowly sinks her mouth all the way down to the hilt, her eyes shut in focus.

She gently rubbed her thumbs over his hips, swallowing around his length in a way that made whimpers fall past his lips he didn’t know he could make himself. “Holy shit y’fuckin- oh- ohhh fuck” he grunts as she takes one of her hands and begins massaging his balls and looking directly into his eyes, pulling off his length to breathe and gently pushing the foreskin back, kissing over the sensitive flesh with her plump lips.

“You can fuck my face- but deepthroating after a meal like that is pretty hard, id love if I can keep it down” she said, even with spit running down her chin, teary eyes, and swollen lips - she still looked adorable to him.

“Sorry- sorry” he muttered, loosening his grip on her hair “keep doin’ that fuck yesss” he breathed out as she swirled her tongue around his head. He thrust in and out of her mouth, gradually moving faster but being careful as to not slam into the back of her throat.

She stroked the bottom half of his length with her other hand, eyes closing and doing her best to swallow around him all the excess saliva that was dripping down her throat. She hollowed out her cheeks, looking up at him as she slowly and carefully sunk down once again, keeping her eyes locked on his.

“Mmm-shhhit-I’m fuckin-“ he groaned, his knees nearly going weak and head falling back with a thud. Blood roared in his ears, his hands shook slightly from the tension rolling off him in waves.

She nearly choked at the amount rolling down her throat. She pulled off slightly, swallowing - more like gulping, assuring to hollow her cheeks and swirl her tongue as she pulled off with a pop as to not waste any of the sweet salty mess.

“You- you- you are fuckin crazy” he breathed, looking down at her.

She wiped off her mouth, chin, and neck with a tissue she’d kept in her purse before saying “I’d say you’re crazy, “ she got off her knees, picking up the chefs coat he had thrown down for her to kneel on, to which she insided it out before she did so it wouldn’t show any dirt. “If I had that coat? It would never touch the floor” she shook it off carefully.

He quickly fixed his pants “he’s a friend it doesn’t matter I can always get a new one” he countered, putting the coat back on and buttoning it.

Her eyes widened “friends?! How the hell did you run into him?!” She asked.

“You- y’re into fashion ‘n shit?” He asked and she nodded enthusiastically

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Thom Browne is insane all his shit Is absolute fire. I wish I could afford one of his jackets like- it’s totally a dream wishlist kinda thing” she took some gum out of her purse.

“When do you uh…go back?” He asked.

“Tomorrow. Headed to Chicago on Wednesday” she said and he nods.

“Oh- yeah okay..It was uh…it was nice t’meet you” he said awkwardly “I should probably um..” he trailed off, clearing his throat nervously.

“Totally- yeah great to um…great to meet you too chef.” She nodded

“Could I um…” he rubs the back of his neck anxiously “could I maybe get y’r…” he trails off, cheeks pink with embarrassment.

“My number?” She asked, grabbing her phone out of her purse.

He nodded, cheeks bright red with embarrassment “yeah sorry-“ he mumbled

“Yeah- if I can get yours” she teased, clicking open the blank contact screen

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