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jeongheart · 8 months

Text

super shy

summary: he's been receiving these letters for the past year but, he doesn't know your name, does he?

w.c: 7.1k.

tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life.

a.n: this is the longest fic i ever written omg, i've been playing new jeans latest comeback for a few days and this is the result lol. as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes. leave your thoughts if you liked it, means a lot!

It was there again.

Sitting immaculately on top of his messy folders, the envelope was white without any type of decoration, the owner of the cursive handwriting wouldn't even risk placing a sticker since it could give a clue, even minimal, about who was behind it.

The classroom was almost empty, since recess ended a few minutes ago and the students were still lazily getting up from the grass where they were lying, not wanting to lock themselves in a room again for hours while the day was shining beautifully outside the building.

However, Chan looked around him, narrowing his eyes as he scanned his classmates for the smallest trace of uneasiness as he took the envelope in his hands. But he didn't find any, unless the author had a master's degree in poker face no one around him seemed interested in what he was doing.

After the failed scrutiny, he sat down again with no care on the wooden bench, eager to read what that person had to say today. This excited feeling was new for him, the letters had been arriving about a year ago, right at the beginning of the new semester and at first, Chan found it funny. Surely one of his friends (he bet his life on either Seungmin or Minho, those two were always up to something no matter how much they said they weren't) found it fun to piss him off this year, after all, it has been a long time since his last relationship and sometimes he felt the need of affection, so the "joke" made perfect sense in his head.

He didn't read them the first few months, he just crumpled them up and kept them in a hidden place in his backpack, to let whoever was behind them know that he wasn't interested. But they kept coming even after that vile act against someone's real feelings; and that was when Chan began to question if there really was a person genuinely interested in him, interested enough to send him handwritten letters as if they were living in a classic romance novel. The person had a beautiful vocabulary, and it was clear that they paid attention to details that he didn't even noticed about himself.

The notes weren't very long since they didn't exceed ten lines, but each word was full of admiration and affection. They always reminded him to eat and take care of his health, in addition to telling him day by day one of the qualities why his mysterious person had fallen in love with him. Chan blushed every time he read those reasons, it was no secret (to himself, since he didn't like others to know) that he didn't think very highly of himself; from his point of view there was nothing nice or admirable about his existence. But this person believed just the opposite, and they had made their life's mission to let him know that every day.

Today was no exception, the lined sheets were a pastel color (pink? orange?) and had small animal decorations at the bottom and top (he noticed that these came in "groups", the representative animal of these last ten notes was a smiling giraffe). It was incredibly adorable, and Chan found himself laughing softly every time he took out the contents of the envelope.

'Mondays are always hard! Especially this time of year (can't the professors trust in me and my knowledge of things? I don't see the need for them to take a test).

Anyway, Channie, this weekend I found myself thinking a lot about you, every time I start writing my reasons I feel like I'm going to be left speechless but then I remember that it's not difficult at all to love you. So here is another one:

Your resilience, I greatly admire your ability to always get up no matter how many blows life throws at you. The vast majority of us feel discouraged by the slightest inconvenience, but not you. And that is something incredible.

I hope you have a beautiful start to the week, remember to eat your meals and feel the sun.

Fondly,'

And that's how all the letters ended, the author seemed to hesitate every time they traced the last line, he could feel the uncertainty even on the paper. Chan knew that they were shy and always wondered when they were going to stop being to finally sign with their name and be able to meet that person who stole his heart with every word.

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He was reading the note, hunched over his things, almost shielding the contents of the paper from the prying eyes of anyone who passed by him. You knew he was going to do it (he always did) but you couldn't stop your heart from racing like it was the first time it happened. You watched him from the hallway, hiding behind one of your textbooks while a silly smile appeared on your face, nothing made you happier than making him happy with your words, it's true what people say about "butterflies in the stomach" because that was what you were feeling right now.

His eyes crinkled in the most adorable way possible every time he smiled and from your spot in the hallway you could almost hear the sigh he let out after finishing reading the letter. After scanning his surroundings one last time, Chan placed the paper back into the envelope, and carefully placed it inside his notebook.

"You and your Shakespeare complex again" The sudden voice of your best friend so close made you jump in your place and drop the book you had in your hands. It hit the ground with a dull sound due to the thickness of its contents, and when you picked up the book again you turned around to face the figure of the perpetrator. He just laughed at you and your reaction, which earned him a closed-fist blow directly to his shoulder.

"You deserve it" You didn't even bother to return his reproachful gaze since he clearly felt like fighting, and instead, you returned your focus to Chan's classroom and his figure. He was no longer in his seat and you didn't want to look weird by leaning out the window door to look for him. So you sighed heavily and leaned your body against the wall while closing your eyes.

Until you felt Jeongin's presence come to your side "Are you going to tell him sometime?"

You didn't answer him.

Well, actually you did, with a growl that could mean either 'I'll do it today, stop bothering' or 'not even dead'. However, the blonde wasn't satisfied with your interpretation of an animal as a response and he began poking your ribs with his long fingers, drawing high-pitched sounds of protest from your lips.

"Stop it, Innie" You moved his hands away from your figure and stood firmly looking him in the eyes like a mother who is trying to discipline her misbehaving son. He crossed his arms with a satisfied smile crossing his face with foxlike features and, with a movement of his head, he invited you to speak.

"What do you want me to say? 'Hello Chan! It's me, the person who has been sending you letters like a fifteen-year-old for a year now. I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you at my best friend's house. Do you want to be my boyfriend?" You rolled your eyes tiredly and didn't wait for Jeongin to tell you what he thought, and so you started walking towards your classroom, with an exasperated five foot seven boy following closely behind you.

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You still remembered the first time you'd seen him, and how couldn't you. His presence could illuminate even the darkest corner, and his personality attracted anyone around him.

It was the summer, and you'd gone to Jeongin's house to spend an afternoon together. The air conditioning in your apartment had broken two days ago, and you couldn't stand being in your room for another second, which was already beginning to feel like an industrial oven. When you arrived at your best friend's residence, you weren't surprised by the fact that there were more people than just the two of you. Jeongin was taking singing lessons at a nearby academy and had hit it off with some of his classmates; so while you didn't know them as well as he did, you had the chance to hang out with some of them a couple of times and you could say that they were the funniest guys you'd ever come across. Especially Hyunjin, who seemed to be like a glove with your best friend.

Jeongin's house felt cold, as if winter had come only for the Yang family and, although you shivered with every step you took towards the kitchen where voices could be heard, this felt like paradise compared to the hell you lived in your house (and you even thought it was cooler in hell).

Reaching the kitchen, you heard Hyunjin's melodious voice followed by his nasal, boisterous laughter at a comment Jeongin made. You shook your head laughing inwardly as you pushed the wooden door open to enter the space, the boys turning their heads in your direction as they heard the hinges snapping back into place.

Your best friend gave you his characteristic smile as he got up from his seat on one of the stools in front of the kitchen island to give you a small hug "I thought you weren't coming anymore!"

From Jeongin's shoulder you saw how Hyunjin gave you a smile and a wave, you tried to return the gesture as best you could considering that you were trapped in the arms of a boy who flatly stated that he didn't like hugs. It was getting long in your opinion, so you patted Jeongin on the back, letting him know that yes, you loved him very much, but you were still sticky with sweat from the walk in the sun and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he was so cool. When Jeongin let go of you, he opened his palm to introduce you to a person you hadn't seen before, "I hope you don't mind, that's Chan over there. He also goes to our academy, and he goes to university with us! Although he is a year ahead"

You smiled at Jeongin as you walked further into the kitchen to greet the new guest and in front of you stood one of the most attractive men you'd ever seen in your entire life. He wasn't very tall (you could tell even if he was sitting) but his broad shoulders gave him an intimidating presence, his hair looked messy in a swirl of brown curls, and although he was dressed from head to toe in black (you were sure his nails were painted that color too) on his face was a dimpled smile that took your breath away.

From one moment to the next you forgot how to articulate words and you felt like a fish opening and closing its mouth trying to find something to say, but your brain didn't seem to want to work.

You felt a small push on your right shoulder that took your body forward, towards the table, and towards Chan.

"How rude you are" Jeongin rolled his eyes, and although deep down you knew he was doing it to tease you, your cheeks turned red. You felt your tongue heavy in your mouth as the seconds passed and you were unable to utter a single word.

"Leave her alone, Innie. It's pretty hot outside, isn't it?" Chan's deep voice brought you out of your trance and forced you to look him in the eyes. He had a sincere smile on his face and was watching you with raised eyebrows, letting you know that he was going to listen to you when you wanted to respond.

Your heart did a complete turn in your chest, you were surprised in the best of ways at how friendly he was, the vast majority of boys with his attractiveness made that their only personality trait but he was attentive and considerate of all the people around him, even with complete strangers who hadn't stopped looking or saying anything to him in three minutes.

"Yes...yes, it's horrible! And the air conditioning in my house is broken and you can't imagine how hot it is! I feel like I'm going to die one of these days" The words came tumbling out of your mouth, since you hadn't had the time to stop and think about what exactly you wanted to say, and your nerves were playing the worst trick of your entire life.

Chan laughed again (even his laugh was pretty) and he nodded his head, not at all scared or surprised with the lexical vomit you just made.

"It must be like torture, really. You must be tired from the walk under the sun, why don't you sit down for a bit? The boys and I were planning to watch a movie" The brunette softly kicked one of the stools that were stored under the table in your direction.

You nodded shyly and took the seat he offered you, right in front of him. You left your phone on the cold marble of the table and looked around the kitchen for your best friend, you'd been surprised by the fact that he hadn't gotten into the conversation for five minutes and to be honest you desperately needed to focus on something other than Chan's penetrating gaze you felt on your face.

"Innie?" You called out to him with a small shout, loud enough for him to hear you even if he'd gone into the garden.

After a few seconds, your friend's blonde head peeked out of the left door that led to the living room, and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "I'm sorry! Since you two were talking, we decided to go prepare things for the movie."

Jeongin paused and looked at you evilly, a look that you knew very well and that didn't give you a good feeling at all "Chan, why don't you prepare something to eat? I bought some snacks today, come when you have everything ready~" And before you could protest, he disappeared from your sight again while laughing and yelling something at Hyunjin.

You immediately tensed up and cursed Jeongin in your mind, how dare he leave you alone with your newfound crush. If he was getting revenge for the time you tried to play matchmaker and failed then he was being very childish, that'd been years ago!

While the insulting thoughts against your best friend and all his ancestors accumulated in your brain, from the corner of your eye you watched as Chan got up from his seat and went to the counter where the mentioned snacks and bowls of colors were located, apparently the prankster you called your best friend had already prepared the trap before you even arrived.

You didn't want to look weirder than you already felt so with your limbs shaking and making even the slightest of movements difficult; you also got up from your seat and slowly approached where Chan was, you stood next to him (close enough for him to know that you were willing to help but far enough not to invade his personal space).

He looked at you briefly and smiled sideways, and didn't say anything as he gently pushed a bowl towards you. The task wasn't very complicated per se, but it did become extremely difficult when the only thing you could focus on were the large, veiny hands of the boy next to you, you hadn't realized how attractive it was to see a man opening packets of potato chips and arranging them in a small container until now.

"Jeongin said we go to the same university, do you study the same as him?" You were startled by the sudden interruption of silence, you turned to look at Chan after finishing preparing the bowl with the nachos.

"Yes, I mean, no. We share some classes because some subjects are correlative in each one's career but I could never do the same as Innie" You smiled shyly and shook your head.

"I study psychology," You finally said and looked at your companion, who had his eyes open and bright like a puppy's (how could it be possible for a person to be incredibly attractive and adorable at the same time? It would have to be illegal), and you wondered what it was that'd amazed him so much, there were millions of other people studying the same thing as you.

Without meaning to, you raised an eyebrow; studying his reaction. He laughed again (it was something he loved to do, apparently) and turned his entire body towards you, resting his left hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's incredible, the human mind is fascinating. I understand why you study that, for my part, I wouldn't read everything you have to read even if someone paid me."

You laughed loudly, infecting Chan as well. He was doing so with his whole body, his shoulders were shaking to the rhythm of his giggles and you could notice that, from time to time, a small squeak would appear in the sound of his laughter.

When the laughter died down, you looked at him again as you put the last bag of snacks in the cupboard in front of you.

"Yes, I mean, it's a lot to read but it's like you say. I'm interested in knowing the reason for behavior, and I would like to help people in the future. Mental health is something important" This last part came out in a whisper, you weren't used to revealing the reason for your career choice, most people told you that you should have chosen something that would make you rich in twenty years.

"That's incredible, I admire you a lot" Chan said in a soft voice, and you hadn't realized how close he'd gotten until you noticed the small touch of his fingers on your arm, the color quickly rose to your cheeks again and panic took over you, making you choke up when you spoke.

"Y-yes, thank you... not many think that way" And you moved your body away from his space; maybe a little abruptly but you were sure that if you continued in that position you were going to do or say something ridiculous, you couldn't trust your ability to reason at the moment.

Chan cleared his throat at your reaction and took two bowls in his hands, starting to walk towards the living room. You hadn't realized how loudly the other two boys were talking, were you so immersed in the situation to forget the outside world? Apparently yes.

"Are you done yet? The boys must be waiting" He stopped right in front of the door, waiting for you to take what you'd prepared.

You nodded softly, and after grabbing your preparations, you followed him into the living room.

You don't really remember what happened after that, you assume you watched the movies that the boys had already chosen before you arrived. You also don't remember if you had even paid attention, probably not, because you were very focused on keeping your breathing as normal as you could since unfortunately Hyunjin and Jeongin decided to each sit in an individual chair and by coincidence the only place left to sit was in the two-seat chair that your best friend's grandmother had given to his mother at her wedding, and conveniently Chan sat there too. So as the movie played on the screen, your heart raced with every accidental brush of your arms or legs against Chan's.

The only thing you remember clearly from that moment is that you couldn't help but look at his profile, trying to memorize every detail and every peculiarity of his expressions.

The rest of the summer felt like a haze, every time you made plans with Jeongin you knew Chan was going to be there. And that did nothing to dispel the feelings that were beginning to become more present with every minute you spent in his presence.

You liked him a little too much.

His kind nature and the way he treated everyone made you dizzy every time, but you were too shy to act on your feelings and unfortunately you weren't the only one who thought Chan was a good catch. Every now and then different girls approached him to ask him out, and although he always rejected them; you couldn't help but feel a little insecure about the situation. And there was also the small problem that he confessed to you one night in Hyunjin's garden: his last relationship had been somewhat toxic, and although it ended years ago, he was deeply hurt and didn't feel ready yet to fall for someone again.

That confession left a sour taste in your mouth, so you decided not to actively act on your feelings, you really didn't want to make Chan uncomfortable or force him into something he didn't want to do, let alone ruin the friendship you were building. But something as strong as love cannot be contained, and one sleepless night you found yourself scribbling in your notebook the things you wanted to say to him, the things you liked about him, and how he made you feel when you looked at him.

You weren't thinking when you left the first envelope on his desk, it was a completely impulsive decision that you regretted the moment you left his classroom. But when you turned around to go back and throw the letter into the trash, he already found it.

At first he didn't read them, you knew because you'd overheard when he mentioned it to Hyunjin during an outing the three of you made, Chan believed that one of his friends was playing a prank on him.

And that was the last straw that broke the camel's back, although you told yourself that you weren't going to write anymore letters for the sake of your friendship and your own feelings you had to let him know (even if anonymously) that he was someone worthy of love and that he wasn't what the people in his past made him believe he was.

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Once you arrived at the classroom (miraculously before the professor, you didn't think you could endure another lecture and there were still three more hours before leaving the university) you sat down in your respective seat by the window. The day was really beautiful, and from your place you could see the large patio where the entire student body went to relax between classes, it was your favorite place in the entire building and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to be leaning against a tree feeling the warm sunlight on your face.

"I'm not saying you have to tell him that but don't you think it's been too long already?" Jeongin didn't seem to want to drop the topic for today, he'd gotten up from his seat taking advantage of the fact that there was still no sign of the teacher and sat at your table, almost knocking all the things that were on top of it to the floor. You rested your head on the bench and waved a hand in the air, brushing it off in an attempt to say 'leave me alone already'.

Your best friend snorted exasperatedly, "You really are a special case, you've been in love with him for a year, for God's sake."

At the boy's aggressive tone of voice, you took your head off the table and looked at him with a frown. He looked back at you like he always did: challenging and forcing you to speak for yourself.

"It's not as easy as you say, Jeongin" You spat angrily.

"For all I know, if he finds out, he could throw my stupid letters in the trash and confessing would not only make me look weird but it would also ruin the friendship we have" You lowered your face, feeling a little sad "And the last thing I would like to do is lose him"

Jeongin’s expression softened as he realized the depth of your anxiety, and he reached out to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I get it, I really do. You don't want to jeopardize what you have but you deserve happiness too, you know? Maybe it's time to take a risk."

“I don’t even think I have a chance” You sighed, feeling defeated.

Jeongin moved closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "You may have more possibilities than you think, but sometimes you have to give destiny a little push."

You raised an eyebrow at his choice of words and just as you were about to question him further, the professor made an appearance in the classroom ordering everyone to take their respective seats and apologizing for the delay. Your best friend flashed you a bright smile with his trademark dimples and snuck over to his table, effectively ending the conversation and leaving you wondering what he meant for the rest of the day.

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If Jeongin's plan was for you to not sleep for a week, then he'd achieved it. His words had been spinning through your head like a whirlpool that seemed to have no end. You knew that he'd been friends with the brunette for a longer time than you, but were they close enough that the youngest knew the secrets inside Chan's heart?

Or was he giving you the advice that all friends gave to their other friends desperate to believe in the illusion that the person they like reciprocates their feelings? No, Jeongin wouldn't do that, he was too honest for his own good and besides you'd known each other longer (your mothers said you were born to be friends). So did that mean there really was a chance?

No, of course not, that was ridiculous.

You shook your head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts as you rang the doorbell at Hyunjin's house. Your group had agreed to meet to study and you needed to have a clear mind, the exams were around the corner and you couldn't afford to keep your brain preoccupied thinking about something that would never happen.

The minutes passed slowly as you waited for the homeowner, and while you were thinking about ringing the doorbell again fearing that the boys inside hadn't heard you, the door suddenly opened, and nothing could have prepared you to see the person who has been living rent free in your mind, you knew he would be there, but you didn't expect to face him so quickly.

"Hey, you arrived just in time, Hyunjin's mom just brought us some drinks" Chan was his usual self, with his beautiful smile plastered on his face and his relaxed attitude.

You blinked once, twice, three times before you managed a small forced smile and responded, "Oh, great, thanks," and you stood there in silence, unable to look him in the eyes.

Chan tilted his head in silent question at your attitude, "Is everything okay?"

His concern for your well-being was evident in his voice and he struck a chord in your heart. You looked at him briefly, meeting his gaze for a fleeting moment and nodded, still struggling to find your voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You finally responded, trying to sound casual despite the jumble of emotions inside you.

Chan's friendly demeanor never wavered as he led you into the house, you followed him with a notable distance between your bodies and so when you arrived at the living room where the boys were already seated with open textbooks and a monstrous amount of things to eat you almost ran to sit next to Jeongin, an attitude that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, who looked at you with his eyebrows raised in a telepathic question.

Meanwhile, Chan didn't take his eyes off you as he sat next to Hyunjin on the couch in front of where you and your best friend were.

The afternoon went by slowly, too slowly for your liking, you'd gone with all the desire to study and get your mind out of the anxiety that was consuming you, but that attempt had been futile.

Although your gaze remained glued to your notes and your blue highlighter (which hadn't highlighted anything in the last hour, you'd read the same paragraph five times without getting a clue of what it was trying to say) you felt how two eyes were burning holes in your figure. The room was suffocatingly silent, and you were sure that your irregular breathing was evident to the entire group; your nerves were so on edge that when your best friend's voice filled the void you almost jumped in your place.

"I'm tired, how about we take a break?"Jeongin raised his arms towards the ceiling, stretching his back and then collapsing gracelessly against the soft cushions of the sofa.

Hyunjin nodded while massaging his neck, stiff after so many hours of looking down at his notes and reading "I thought no one was going to say it, I was going crazy."

Chan didn't say anything, he just closed his notebooks and imitated Jeongin in his relaxed pose against the couch. You felt out of place when the boys started chatting about meaningless things to lighten the atmosphere.

You only nodded when you felt your input was necessary, or laughed when you thought that was the reaction you should have but you didn't speak, because in fact, you weren't sure you were going to say anything coherent or at least make your voice louder than a whisper, so you decided that the best course of action was to stay quiet.

If the boys noticed it, they didn't say anything, and you couldn't be more grateful for it.

"You know" Chan interrupted the laughter of the other two boys after a not-so-funny story told by Hyunjin.

Everyone focused their attention on him, the tone of voice he'd used was more serious than his usual; so serious that it forced you to look up for the first time since the recess began and you found Chan's brown eyes looking directly at you, doing it so intensely that you thought he was staring right into your soul.

You held your breath, but you weren't prepared for what he said next.

"My secret admirer hasn't written to me in a few days" He was still looking at you, but there was something strange hidden in his irises, something you couldn't decipher.

Silence once again took over Hyunjin's living room, and the tension could be cut with a knife, it almost seemed like time had stopped when the brunette pronounced the last syllable. Your mouth felt dry, and your palms began to sweat. The weight of his words floated in the air and a thousand thoughts passed through your mind, each one more disconcerting than the last.

Hyunjin snorted, and looked maliciously at Chan "Maybe they are tired of you."

His mocking comment broke the heavy silence like thunder. Jeongin joined in with a playful smile, taking the opportunity to tease Chan mercilessly. “Maybe your secret admirer found someone else,” he joked, his tone light and teasing, “Or maybe they are just playing hard to get.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest, wanting to burst while the boys laughed at Chan's expense while he, in response, rolled his eyes and smiled sarcastically at the jokes that his friends kept saying, he also looked at you from time to time making your discomfort even more evident.

You desperately searched for words to contribute to the conversation, your voice choked by the rising anxiety. But as Jeongin and Hyunjin's playful teasing continued, you remained silent, feeling like a bystander in a conversation that was becoming more cryptic by the second. Chan's gaze never left you, and despite the teasing, there was something in his eyes that betrayed a deeper understanding. His comment felt like a puzzle piece falling into place, yet you couldn't put your finger on what he truly knew.

As the laughter subsided, the room descended into an awkward silence once more, and then Chan finally spoke up, his tone more subdued than before. "Well, whoever it is," he began, his eyes still locked on yours, "I hope they know they've brightened my days with their letters."

The comment hung in the air, carrying a weight that seemed to pull everyone into its gravity. Jeongin and Hyunjin exchanged glances, their playful demeanor suddenly giving way to something more conspiracy.

You, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming mix of emotions. The anxiety that'd been building throughout the day reached a crescendo. You wanted to say something, to respond in some way, but the words caught in your throat.

Hyunjin broke the silence once more, this time with a touch of sincerity in his voice. "Whoever they are," he said, "they must really care about you, man." Jeongin nodded in agreement, and the room seemed to shift, it was a subtle transformation, but one that you couldn't help but notice.

Chan smiled, a genuine one that reached his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted, "They do mean a lot to me."

You desperately needed a moment to collect your thoughts and emotions after that serious conversation, so you mumbled something about getting a drink from the kitchen, excusing yourself with a weak smile and slowly, you retreated from the living room, the voices of the boys fading as you put some distance between you and the group.

In the dimly lit kitchen, you leaned against the countertop, your heart still racing from the tension in the room. The realization that Chan cherished those anonymous letters hit you like a ton of bricks. You'd never imagined how much they meant to him.

Just as you were lost in thought, the sound of footsteps behind you made you jump. You turned to find Chan standing there, a serious yet gentle expression on his face. His presence seemed to fill the room with warmth, and your anxiety ratcheted up another notch.

"Hey," he said softly, "You okay?"

You nodded, unable to form words an he took a step closer, his gaze never left yours.

Chan's brown eyes bore into yours, and for a moment, it felt like the world had frozen around you. You couldn't contain the thoughts racing through your mind any longer. With a trembling voice, you finally asked the question that'd been gnawing at you.

"Do you know who's been sending those letters?"

Chan's expression remained calm, but you could see a glimmer of something in his eyes, a hint of knowing. He didn't answer immediately, instead, he stepped closer, narrowing the distance between you.

His voice was soft as he replied, "I have a feeling I might have a clue."

Your heart pounded in your chest as you searched his face for more hints. What did he mean by 'a clue'? It was clear he was being deliberately vague, and it only added to your curiosity.

"But," he continued, "I'd like to hear it from you. Tell me, do you know who it is?"

You hesitated, the weight of the truth pressing down on you. The walls between you and Chan seemed to dissolve, and the vulnerability in his eyes was mirrored in your own. With a shaky breath, you summoned the courage to speak, your voice quivering with fear and anticipation.

"It's me."

The admission hung in the air, heavy and uncertain. You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes locked on the floor as you waited for his reaction. The seconds felt like hours as you replayed all the letters, and the emotions you'd poured into them.

Chan's silence stretched, and the tension in the room became palpable. Your heart raced, and you feared the worst — rejection, awkwardness, or even laughter.

Then, he reached out, gently lifting your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes. The warmth and kindness in his gaze melted away your fears.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice soft and sincere. "I've cherished every single one."

As tears welled up in your eyes, Chan reached out to gently wipe them away with his thumb. He pulled you into a comforting embrace, holding you close as your emotions overwhelmed you. You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they flowed freely as you nestled into his embrace. He whispered soothing words, his voice a balm to your soul, reassuring you that everything would be okay.

After a moment of shared comfort, you pulled away slightly, looking up at him with curiosity. "But how did you know it was me?" you finally asked, your voice still trembling.

Chan smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, a knowing twinkle in his eye, and replied, "I had my suspicions, especially after some of the things you wrote. But what really gave it away was your handwriting."

You blinked in surprise.

Handwriting? You hadn't considered that, no, haven't even thought about it when you started this a year ago, and to be honest you felt a little dumb.

Chan continued, "I recognized your handwriting from a birthday card you gave me a while back. It was similar to the writing in the letters. And then, well, I saw you looking at me during our hangouts, and it all just started to make sense."

You blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. It seemed like you'd left more clues than you thought. But instead of feeling exposed, you felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that he'd noticed your feelings all along.

With a shy smile, you said, "I guess I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, am I?"

Chan chuckled softly. "No, but that's okay. I'm glad you told me."

As you gazed into Chan's eyes, you noticed something change in his expression. The initial surprise and curiosity gave way to a more tender, understanding look. He cupped your face gently, his touch warm and reassuring.

"You know," he began softly, "I've always appreciated those letters. They made me feel special, like someone out there truly understood me. And I never wanted to pressure you into revealing yourself," Chan continued. "I wanted you to do it when you were ready."

"I was just afraid," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "Afraid of what you might think, of how it might change things between us."

Chan's thumb traced small circles on your cheek as he reassured you, "Don't be. This doesn't change how I feel about what we have. If anything, it makes it even more special."

A tear escaped from the corner of your eye, but this time, it wasn't a tear of anxiety or fear. It was a tear of relief, of happiness. You leaned into Chan's touch, and he leaned closer, his eyes locked on yours, and before you knew it, his lips met yours in a soft, gentle kiss. The world seemed to melt away as your lips met his, you felt the warmth of his body against yours, and the sensation sent shivers down your spine. His hands cradled your face, holding you gently but firmly, as if he never wanted to let you go.

The taste of his lips was sweet and comforting, like a warm embrace on a cold winter's day, you could feel the steady beat of Chan's heart, matching the rhythm of your own. The world around you disappeared, and there was only the two of you.

And just as you were lost in that sweet moment, the kitchen door burst open, and in walked your friends, their playful banter filling the room while wearing grins so wide they threatened to split their faces. Jeongin couldn't help but tease you, waggling his eyebrows playfully. "Well, well, looks like someone finally got the courage to make a move!"

Hyunjin joined in with a mock-sympathetic tone. "And here we thought we'd have to wait another century for this to happen!"

You blushed furiously, pulling away from Chan who chuckled in amusement, still holding you close. "You guys have impeccable timing," he remarked, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Jeongin winked at you, "Hey! We're just glad we won't have to hear you two mooning over each other anymore."

#stray kids fluff #bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz soft thoughts #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz fluff #stray kids x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #bri writes

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fategoflatass · 1 year

Text

final thoughts · fall 2022

since i know there're people who like to read my opinions on the different seasons, here you have my thoughts on this (HOLY SHIT OMG WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???????????) season.

akiba meido sensou (7.5/10)

so, i never meant to watch this show. i thought it would be just another CGDCT slice of life where maids do their maid stuff, and they have fun... I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS THO. this series is crazy, like, the first ep starts with a maid being shot in the head like ??????? and then ranko (best girl imo) starts shooting this rival maid group along with a cutsie song like ??????????????? i was both confused and charmed. this anime is such a blast, it's filled with twists and turns, random shit that it's bizarre but it also makes so much sense. i can't fully explain it, you need to watch it.

akuyaku reijou nano de last boss wo kattemimashita (4/10)

dear lord the toxicity here is astronomical. the way i was looking for a hamefura replacement and i ended up getting this... i feel scammed. this was meant to be a fantasy romance story, but it ended up being a contest to see who's the most toxic person in the relationship. between throwing someone out of a flying carriage just to see them cry and almost stabbing someone on the crotch because they want to break off their engagement with you... i don't know who's worse. they totally deserve each other.

blue lock (8.5-8/10)

i cannot decide myself on what rating i should give to it. while i do love bllk and think is one of the best sports series i've ever read, 8-bit's adaptation is... interesting. while i did think the first episode was amazing, the visual level just started dropping. some of the hand-drawn animation looks weird, and the cgi sometimes looks like it has been taken from a mobile game. i have mixed feelings with these series; while it's still fun and interesting, it just doesn't kick me as much in the chest as the manga does. if you wanna start bllk, please read the manga first.

bocchi the rock! (6.5/10)

as i said before, i'm not a big fan of CGDCT, and this series is just that. i was into the music part of the series and bocchi's social phobia (which, as someone who went through it, i think it's a pretty good representation), but it's still not my cup of tea. it bores me at times, and i'm the one to blame. it's not bad, it's just not my thing. if you're into this kinda stuff, i fully recommend it.

boku no hero academia 6 (8/10)

NOW THAT IS A GOOD SEASON. this one's adapting one of (if not the) best arcs in the series and hell yeah i'm hyped. in case someone hasn't started it, i won't spoil anything. i'll just tell you to please not worry about the quality: the art, animation and everything in general is being tretaed with so much thought and love. i'm just so happy to see all of them back!

boku no roboco (4/10)

(at this point, i've only watched two eps. my opinion on the series may change) i know the manga is popular, i know it makes a lot of anime references. i wanted to try giving it a chance and oh lord. first, it's difficult to find. second, it isn't even funny. if i'm not dropping it is because the episodes are short and fuck it. but not because you make a shit tone of anime references means that you're gonna be funny.

c danchi (1/10)

chainsaw man (9/10)

i'll just leave this here and go on with my life.

GUYS. GUYS. IT'S FINALLY HERE. BABE'S FINALLY HERE. AND OH LORD SHE'S LOOKING AMAZING. i've been waiting for this series for so long, (since it first got announced like holy fuck the feels). i have the entire part one on my bookshelf and it brings me so much joy (and tears and trauma and—) to finally see it animated. the animation, the art, the music, the voices— everything is just fantastic, perfect even. the op is a banger and each and every ed is just so good (some better than others imo). i'm so happy mappa were the ones that took the project like omg thanks mappa but fr fr. if i'm not giving it a higher note is because i'm afraid that would be my inner fangirl speaking so yeah. my children look perfect, that's enough for me. and fuck those who complain about the cgi istg—

cool doji danshi (7/10)

just a pretty chill slice of life short series about a bunch of dorks trying to survive in the wild. they're all so relatable and idk what to think about it. babe's also pretty absent-minded, so this is pretty comfy to me... is this how #representation feels like? besides that, there's not much to say about it since it's just... that. they exist, and i'm happy they do.

do it yourself!! (5/10)

how many times have i said i don't like CGDCT series? many times, but i still go and watch them. why? because i'm dumb ig. it's just a series about a bunch of girls doing bricolage, that's pretty much it.

fumetsu no anata e 2 (8/10)

second season of "don't get attached to the cast because they're all going to die". at this rate, i think i'm made of stone because i haven't shead a tear in the entire series. i'm also getting use to the show's formula (introduce new character → make you feel attached to them → kill them), so ig that's also why i don't feel that sad anymore? idk, i do feel sad but not that sad yk. anyway, is as good as the first season so you should give it a try.

fuufu ijou, koibito miman. (6.5/10)

i started not liking the series (the male mc was annoying to me and i felt like he would only see the girls by their "personality"), but i ended up getting attached in some sort of way? it's an easy to watch, funny romcom that, even if it's nothing special, will entertain you for the time being.

kage no jitsuryokusha ni naritakute! (5.5/10)

i like the idea, but not the execution. i mean, kinda. it started being a parody of isekai series, but i feel like isekai is slowly but surely eating the show alive. i'm not that interested on the plot and the ecchi scenes and comments are... something. to give you some example: there was this scene where these girls would pose in ways others could check their breasts better and perceive them as bigger than their opponent's. or maybe the many comments they do about the protagonist's dick being a fricking sword????? umm not thank you.

koukyuu no karasu (7/10)

a historical fantasy shoujo series with interesting plot points and a cute romance?? hell yeah, count me in! each and every character is lovable af and trust me when i tell you you'll never get bored. the art is so cute and comfortable (idk how to explain it), and the romance is just... i just want them to date already, am i asking too much? definitely give it a chance.

mairimashita! iruma-kun 3 (8/10)

new iruma season and the first one i'm watching as it's coming out. the children are back and more chaotic than ever in this new arc (the best one yet, from what i heard). i just can't stress enough how this series makes me feel, how comfy it makes me feel. i've connected with the characters in such a way it just makes me smile every time each and every single one of them just appears on the screen. i'm so excited to see who'll win! (no spoilers please)

mob psycho 100 III (8.5/10)

this isn't the last season. no, i refuse to accept it. even though many characters are getting their closures and all this chaos is going on and every wish of them to have a happy life has turned to ash. this is not the end. and that never happened. no. just. leave me alone.

mushikaburi-hime (6/10)

so, they're trying to bring historical shoujos back and while we did get some interesting results (koukuuu no karasu), we also got series like mushikaburi-hime. the series is about a girl who is obssesed with books and a dude that isn't, but because he likes her he's up to deal with that little trait of hers. and... that's pretty much it. the series revolves around their relationship (which sometimes turns a bit toxic due to the male mc). the female mc hasn't progressed in over ten episodes, she won't progress now. if you're interested, there it is. but it's not a series i would recommend.

renai flops (7/10)

i said it before: i love shitshows. this one seemed to be a parody on ecchi, harem series which caught my eye. i mean, the first ep involves the dog scene which is one of the most bizarre scenes i've seen on any romcom. at first, i was gonna watch it for the laughs from how bad it all was, but then the second half happened and it changed my view on the series. from a parody that makes things absurd on purpose to something else. i would recommend anyone who's interested to watch it and please, do not spoil yourself.

shinobi no itokki (4/10)

this show is about a dude who goes to high school and he gets confessed to by a girl he doesn't know. only that it wasn't a confession but a trap, because that girl was a ninja and was trying to kidnap him. but he's able to runaway because he has all these ninja abilities that his mother forced him to learn and never questioned why. and then his mum tell him they're actually ninjas and now he has to go to this ninja school that's literally a high school building in the middle of nowhere like ????? i thought ninjas were discreet???? except no one cares about the school because then someone (don't ask, don't remember) gets betrayed and blames the dude's clan and shit happens and wth is going on????

spy x family part 2 (8.5/10)

part two of this very wholesome but also very fake family! their shenanigans are as crazy as they were in part one, and we got introduced to our queen, fiona. also, the main fake couple are growing closer due to the mission and i think that's pretty cool now get married for real this time.

tensei shitara ken deshita (6/10)

just your average isekai with better than average animation and a wholesome bond between both leads. besides that, i have no much to say about it. i absolutely adore fran and amanda, but the whole idea of fran being op almost from the start is frustrating. i wanna see her grow, but this left me kinda cold.

urusei yatsura (6.5/10)

many people were hyping this show, and i do understand why. after all, it's pretty rough fighting against nostalgia. still, even though the visuals are so cute and the op and ed are pretty good, it just shows the series it's an old one. the comedy falls flat at times along with some characters, although it's still enjoyable. i don't know if i'll keep on watching the second season, but for now i don't feel like dropping it.

uzaki-chan wa asobitai! ω (6/10)

so, uzaki is back. the first season has never been one of my favorites, but i decided to give the second season a try and watch it as it was coming out and... well, it's uzaki. for some of y'all it may be hilarious, but to me it's just fine. it's boring most of the time, although i do like the idea of the mcs dating (please do so for fuck's sake). if you're into this kind of comedy, you should give it a try.

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erindrawsstuff · 1 month

Note

Hello!

I wanted to ask if you had any comic recommendations! I’ve noticed that our tastes are very similar, haha

here’s one from me!

go check out My Superhero! by Jessie Paige Dawson

Oh I've been WAITING for this one--

A lot of the comics I read are less self-indulgent/wish-fulfillment/slice of life/romance and more "make me ponder about the thing I am reading on an obsessive level" and "I want this story to rewrite my life and make me question everything". However if I'm needing a mental break I will enjoy a good comfort comic!

WARNING BEFOREHAND: Some of the listed comics may include themes like slight body horror, suicide/self-harm, abuse, depression, etc. There are pre-existing warnings on most of these comics but like all media please proceed with caution and take care of yourselves!

On WEBTOON:

Space Boy by Stephen McCranie (currently on hiatus)

Do you love space? Do you enjoy colorful comics with intriguing casts of characters with a dash of existentialism and the complexities of life and what it means to be human? Then you'll definitely want to read this one. Also, it baffles me that Stephen has essentially improvised the majority of this story--it's incredibly cohesive and very well-written.

Nevermore by Kate Flynn and Kit Trace (updates regularly on Fridays)

This is the definition of disaster lesbians--toxic yuri, even, but that's why I love it! Very fun concept of limbo as a gothic academic setting where everyone is out to get everyone for a second chance at life. The main love interests have a recently-divorced vibe that is so messy and I eat it up every time they interact with each other. The supporting cast is also very fleshed-out and dynamic and play very well off of each other to make for interesting scenarios.

Suitor Armor by Purpah (updates on Fridays)

A comic that questions what it means to be human/have a soul and the complexities of life and the moral ambiguity! I feel like there's a pattern here... anyway, I really enjoy the world-building in this one and while I'm not usually a fan of plot-twists for shock value, Purpah does them VERY WELL and I was indeed very shocked and surprised several times.

Castle Swimmer by Wendy Lian Martin (currently on hiatus)

I do love my gay fish boys. Castle Swimmer is one of those comics I could picture as an animated series and if that happens I want to be on that animation team so bad (Wendy I'm on my hands and knees). The world building is immaculate and feels so vast that every time a new setting is discovered it feels like the world map is being filled out as you go. Main characters defy predestined-fates after falling in love with each other and I'm a sucker for that trope. Gender-fuckery and many representations of sexuality is also a normal occurrence so that's very refreshing. AND Wendy incorporates a lot of facts/biology/conservation awareness for marine life into the story and after episodes and I love that very much.

On Hiveworks:

Novae by KaiJu (Jen and Kate) (updates on Mondays and Thursdays)

Historical fiction with romance, more gender-fuckery, magic systems and astronomy (more space!! I love space!!). I eat up all the cultural references and have learned more from this comic than most of my history classes. Beautiful, beautiful art style and overall very well-written. Cant' wait to get my heart broken over the next few chapters (something just happened but you'll have to read it for yourself).

Tiger, Tiger by Petra Norlund (currently on hiatus)

My friend recommended this to me with the general pitch of "noblewoman cross-dresses as her twin brother to escape the responsibilities of high society and study sea sponges aboard the stolen ship of said-brother" and let me tell you I wish I read it sooner. I need to re-read it at some point but from what I can recall there's also a lot of queer pining and will-they-won't-they but also we can't worry about that right now because world-ending things are happening and one of the world-ending things is very hot and cool.

Barbarous by Ananth Hirsh and Yuko Ota (currently on hiatus)

I recently discovered this comic but I devoured it within hours; not only is the magic portrayed in such an interesting way (literally weaving magic/needing physical conduits to cast spells) despite being in a modern setting. Percy/Chiaki hits home being down on her luck and how her desperation to be perfect and powerful has made her do questionable things and I love that for her. All the characters are messy in their own way and it really breathes life into what could be considered a slice-of-life.

Namesake by Megan Lavey-Heaton and Isabelle Melançon (I'm actually unsure if there's a consistent update schedule?)

Man how do I even begin to explain Namesake?? I can't, that's why you should read it for yourself. Get ready to take notes because it is so dense with magical systems, character and setting history that I felt like I was studying but it's fun studying. This is also one I've followed for yeeearrrs and it's just gotten better with time.

Countdown to Countdown by Velinxi/Xiao Tong Kong (updates on Wednesdays)

This is actually a re-release of Xiao's previous comic by the same name; it had a similar format to Ava's Demon with painterly single panels (you can still read the original here), and now it's a paginated-format with a very fleshed-out story and world (and the art style slightly simplified but still gorgeous). I love the changes Xiao was able to make because it really helps the story and characters shine compared to the earlier version. I'm pretty sure that she had likened it to Tangled such as: generational trauma, escaping a tower, MC discovering the world while love interest grows to love their passion and joy despite struggling in said-world and they are both boys and they are kissing (I added that last bit it has been the slowest slow burn of my life).

Daughter of the Lilies by Meg Syv (currently on hiatus)

High fantasy/Dungeons and Dragons setting with incomprehensible beings and a girl without a face that just wants to be accepted by the family she has found within her adventuring party. I adore the character interactions and I don't want to say too much about the world because of very cool spoilers, but I really love this one.

STANDALONE COMICS:

Ava's Demon by Michelle Fus (updates fairly regularly now? but can have some hiatuses)

One of those OG webcomics I've been read since forever ago, but I still love it and am excited to see where the story goes. Sci-fi fantasy setting where most of the inhabited planets have been overruled by this one asshole who might be a god? Either way it follows Ava and a rag-tag group of friends/enemies/frenemies as they try to battle Titan's rule with demon pacts and untapped, unknown powers. I haven't re-read it in a very long time but I do remember enjoying the story and characters and the art style is absolutely gorgeous.

Lackadaisy by Tracy J. Butler

Oh my god please read this comic if you haven't already (or watch some of it as it's now an animated pilot on YouTube and has been recently funded for a full season!) I'm a complete sucker for 1920s/1930s prohibition stories and the underground businesses of rumrunners, not to mention the added bonus that they're all cats! The art style is gorgeous both in the earlier chapters and the later chapters, and the writing is so incredibly well-constructed and intricate that my baby brain could hardly keep up when I first started readying back in uhhhh 2010/2012?). It has a wackiness and charisma that Tracy has only honed since first starting and I can't recommend it enough.

The Meek and Mare Internum by Der-shing Helmer (The Meek is on indefinite hiatus, and Mare Internum is completed)

I honestly don't know if The Meek will ever be finished? Which is a bummer because I was hooked from the start. Granted I haven't revisited it in a long time so I can't recall a lot of details, but I remember it being wonderfully rich in world building and all of the characters were complex and shared interesting dynamics with each other. Fantasy setting with dangerous god-like beings playing sandbox with the politics and fates of the human world. There is also most definitely a green-haired girl in the story and she's really cool. Again, my memory is a tad fuzzy on this one so current opinion could be different from previous opinion.

Mare Internum is fully completed and is a sci-fi story that explored the dangers of an alien-inhabited Mars with a reluctant main lead. Proceed with caution as the very first page depicts an attempted hanging by the main character (there are warnings but it is the first page so it can take you a bit off-guard). I actually just realized as I was writing this that I never finished the story and that's very silly and goofy of me, but that just means we can experience it together haha.

Off-White by Jessi Derenthal, Anna Podedworna and Katarzyna Redesiuk (unfortunately discontinued, but who know what will happen in the future?)

I have to recommend the comic that indulged my wolf-girl era, it's only fair. But it's also because it's a beautifully painted comic and the team is so talented. I haven't caught up with them recently but I hope they're all doing well wherever they are. The setting is heavily inspired by Norse mythos, and the main characters flip between humans and wolves struggling to survive the spiritual collapse of the world as humans wipe out each respective spirit for total power. I remember being absolutely entranced by this comic and would get so excited every time it updated so my friend and I could read it. It's currently available on the Internet Archives and Wayback Machine, as the site was too expensive for the creators to sustain.

WOW I guess I was holding onto that for a while. Thank you so much for the ask! I can't promise I'll have the same energy for future asks but I really hyper-focused on this one since comics are one of my Special Interests. I also just started reading My Superhero!, so thank you for the recommendation!

#asks #erin answers stuff #webcomics #comics #webtoon #comic recommendations #also take my recs with a grain of salt #knowing the reputation of the internet if there is something deemed problematic about any of these works please assume I just do not know #but I try to be receptive and open about it if someone or something is especially egregious #I don't spend a lot of time on the internet anymore because it's stressful and not healthy #but I enjoy moments like these where I can share media that people might enjoy :>

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maplecornia · 3 years

Text

chapter 10

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 3.24K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: I think the banner is super cute for this one, fitting to the super FLUFFY moments in this chapter ehehehe

tags: @kookaine |@fangirl125reader |@kookiebbyxx |@taradevonne

He takes you to a studio.

Though the hallway is simple, another slather of pure white paint, stone, and plaster, the floor a gorgeous light charcoal tile. The door to the studio is beautiful hardwood, a large window of tinted glass embedded within so that you can see a bit inside.

You stare at it with awestruck eyes.

Namjoon doesn't notice your expression at first, turning the knob to the door, and entering.

As he does, you don't move. You don't know if you can.

The studio isn't much, it's very simple when you think about it.

It's spacious, with dark walls and an almost metallic look to it. There are two comfortable chairs located at the soundboard which has a black undertone to them. The table is dark hardwood, even the floor is plated with dark mosaic tile. The recording area on the other side of the massive one-way glass in front of the soundboard has the same black theme, the walls soundproofed with patches of black material.

Though it may seem simple to some, to you, it could not be more beautiful.

This room holds every dream you ever had, everything you had once wanted to be. On the other side of that glass, you would have sung and made the very same music that helped you feel loved and wanted.

As you stand there, awestruck, RM notices that you're not beside him. He pauses, turning around to you, his computer powering on. He looks at you, a bit confused.

“Yen?” at his voice, you break out of your trance and snap your eyes to him. He chuckles a bit before setting down his coffee. “Are you going to come in? It's rude to stand in open doorways.”

Shaking yourself out of your reverie, you nod, hurrying in and closing the door shut behind you.

“Yes. I’m sorry I was just…” you trail off, searching for the words to explain, but coming up empty, you fall silent.

Namjoon gives you a look as you stop in the middle of the room, getting that dreamy, glazed-over look in your eyes once more. You seem as though you're afraid to touch anything. Maybe it will ruin the dream, somehow wake you up, when you don't want to be bothered.

“Are you okay?” he inquires, peering deeper into your eyes and tilting his head in a questioning gesture. Once more, the expression on your face disappears and you chuckle nervously.

“Yes, it's just, this doesn't quite feel real.”

“What do you mean?”

“It's always been my dream to come to a place like this.” You murmur, taking a steadying breath as you tentatively run your fingers over the top of the desk. The cool glossed-over granite sends a small shiver down your spine before you pull your hand back to your heart.

Namjoon’s eyes scan your face, searching it, as though it is the most interesting thing in the room right now. If you were to notice, the sight of his intense gaze would cause your heart to beat faster.

“What? A studio?” he inquires. You turn to him and nod, your mouth breaking into a wide grin, as you can’t ignore the pounding of adrenaline in your veins at your excitement.

“Yes. I've dreamed of being in one ever since I was a little girl.” Wistfully, your eyes turn to the one-way glass separating the soundproof from the recording studio.

“I would have sung right there, in front of that microphone. My producers and composers would be behind this glass, giving me pointers and helping me to make the best version of my song possible.” You explain, pointing to the lone microphone in the middle of the room. “But, I never got to live it.”

“What do you mean?” he asks intently, his eyes snapping back to you. You smile sadly and turn away from the glass, raising your tea to your lips. “Why couldn't you pursue your dream?”

“I didn't want to debut as a solo artist.” You answer him, chucking a bit bitterly afterward.

“It's a stupid reason, I know, but in America, there aren't necessarily companies constantly holding new auditions for boy and girl groups, like in Seoul. Normally it was you, on your own. If you wanted to debut as a group, you had to have people you knew willing to do that with you. I didn't have people who would want to do that with me. They all had their dreams, and I had mine. I saw those solo artists perform, and all I could see was how lonely they were up there. I wouldn't be able to do that. I don't think I'd be able to survive, to feel as though I were the only one in the world. As though everything I did or didn't do would define who I was. I wouldn't be strong enough to deal with that on my own.”

He looks at you, silent but understanding. As you raise your eyes to him, almost hesitant, you don't expect to see the sweet, kind smile on his face.

“It's not stupid.” He says, turning to the computer and opening up a few files. “Besides, now you're living it...sort of. How does it feel?”

He pulls back one of the chairs and beckons for you to sit down. You take it, easing yourself into the chair and thankfully finding that nothing disappears.

“Unreal.” You whisper, almost giddy at the sight of the soundboard in front of you. If you were in the recording area, things would get out of hand. He chuckles at your answer and sits down as well, pulling up a demo that he has no doubt been working on.

“You're lucky Yoongi isn't here, he would fuss at you for taking his seat.” He teases, but your eyes go wide and you almost stand up. RM grabs you by the wrist almost as soon as you do and sits you back down in your seat.

“Don't worry, I’m just joking.” You smile, laughing nervously, but continue to sit on the edge of the chair.

“Is he here?” you ask, trying to make sure you aren't overstepping any boundaries. Namjoon shakes his head in response, adjusting things on the soundboard.

“He was supposed to be but got called away for another project. He’s still a producer after all, and was only helping me a bit with this demo.” He explains. Relaxing, you sit back, nodding.

He proceeds to play with the soundboard as though it were some secret language only he knew, and you watch him, trying to study how it works. He pushes up a button there, twists a knob here, all the while clicking continuously on his computer.

“Is this what you got from your studio?” you inquire, and he turns toward you. As you glance up at him, your eyes meet before he turns back to the computer, and nods.

“Yep. I've been working on this for quite some time now, but can't seem to get the sound right. It's strange because I already have the lyrics for it, but one part just doesn't seem to flow.” You watch as his cursor highlights one part of his track and he pulls a pair of headphones off from the console. Drawing away from his computer, he turns to you. He offers them to you in a questioning gesture.

“Do you want to hear?” he asks and you nod, reaching for them.

Instead, he places them securely on your head, and your hands go up quickly to readjust it to your liking. As they do, your hands touch his as they pull away, for a small moment. It sends a shock through your body, and you can hardly look him in the eye as your face grows hot.

He, however, can't take his eyes off you. As you glance up at him with that innocent, confused gaze, he has to quickly turn away. His hand raises to his mouth, as though that would hide it from your curious orbs.

“Are you ready?” he asks softly, hoping that would cover up his slight embarrassment.

“Yes.”

Complying, he clicks the play button and after a small sound of silence, the music begins, soft and steady. It has a peaceful beat to it, one that calms you and makes you smile. Closing your eyes, you tap your hands over the headphones, almost as if to press the music deeper into your mind. As it progresses, the music grows faster and you can hear a woman's voice in the background vocalizing.

Opening your eyes, remembering that this should be where RM is having trouble, you can hear the music begin to transition, as though a record were stopping at the end of its song.

You can see where RM is having trouble.

The music that comes next is too fast, too different from the beginning of the track, it holds no consistency. Once it fades out, back to the calm and quiet track, you pull off the headphones, pondering what to tell him.

You know that he wants your opinion, but you don't want to be disrespectful.

“Well? Any suggestions?” he asks, holding your gaze with persistent eyes.

“May I?” you request, gesturing to the computer, and he nods, switching places with you. You have enough experience with software such as this that you know what you're doing.

“You see this area right here? I feel as though that's where the sound starts to sound a bit off. It's not necessarily that the beat is bad, it's perfect. However, in this area, it doesn't flow like the rest of the song.” As you play the area you're talking about, you hardly notice how close Namjoon moves to you, peering at the screen.

Your bodies are mere inches apart, his heat making your back warm. It's comforting, as though there is someone behind you whom you can trust.

“You see?” you say once it stops playing, turning and finding your face inches away from him. As he peers at the screen with narrowed, focused eyes he doesn’t notice you staring.

He's so close that you can see the deep brown of his eyes, the product in his soft hair, and the smoothness of his cheeks. The comforting warmth immediately changes into something else. Swallowing hard, you tear your gaze away. Pressing your hands to your cheeks, you try to cool them down, and silently wonder if he can hear how fast your heart is beating.

Honestly...how could Korea ever call this man ugly?

“What would you suggest we can do to change it?” he asks, glancing down at you just as you raise your eyes to the screen, trying to ignore your pounding heart.

“I think that maybe if you used the same piano accompaniment in the beginning after the transition, then that would satisfy the need for consistency while keeping the original sound of the track.” You suggest, looking at him for approval.

He doesn't answer at first, instead, he reaches across you, carrying out your task. Swallowing hard, you freeze, afraid to make the tiniest movement and accidentally touch him.

He doesn't notice, his turn to be entranced in his work, and you're thankful for it. You try to inconspicuously hide your face from him, missing your baggy clothes. Normally the giant sleeves would be enough to mask your blush, but now you only have the comfort of your small hands against your cheeks. Once he's done, he pulls back, gesturing for you to play it.

“Let's see if this works.” He murmurs, almost hopeful. You nod, pressing the mouse and intentionally avoiding eye contact with him until your heart has calmed down. The beginning of the song starts once again, helping to calm your nerves and you feel at ease once more.

You weren't aware there would be so little personal space when you first walked into the BigHit building.

When it comes to the particular area in the song, you're surprised to find that your idea worked. The small part no longer sounds out of place and it flows with the rest of the song. It still needs some tuning, but you solved his problem.

“Woah…” Kim Namjoon mutters, and you turn to him, finding surprise and a sort of pride in his expression.

“That’s incredible.” His eyes turn from the screen to rest on you laughing softly.

“Did you know that you're incredible? It's such a simple fix, such a simple error. Something we couldn’t pick up, and you…” he runs his hand over his face, staring at the computer screen with an unbelievable expression before turning his eyes to you once more. “I guess what they say about fresh ears is true.”

You blush at the pride, trying to ignore it, act like you did nothing at all, which you didn't. With him looking at you that way, however, it's hard not to feel vital, somehow important to this song.

“So!” you say, sitting straight in your chair and turning to him. “What do we do next?”

“What to do next….” he ponders on the thought before his eyes widen as though remembering something.

He curses under his breath, checking his watch. Immediately, he pulls back from the soundboard, and heads to the door, beckoning for you to follow him. You hurry to your feet, taking his coffee and your tea before scuttling after him.

“Where are we going?” you call out, having to jog to reach his side. He doesn't answer you, just mutters incomprehensible things under his breath.

You keep quiet behind him, understanding that he's stressed out. Sometimes it's just better to keep silent to show that you understand. You do that for him now, just follow him as he leads you back to Mon Studio, retrieving a few things and pocketing them in a backpack.

You wait for him near the entrance by your satchel, where you left it safe before.

As he finishes and begins to search for something, his phone rings and he curses once more. He rolls his eyes in annoyance as he pulls it out from his pocket.

“Yes?” he snaps.

As he presumes to continue packing, he beckons you for help. You comply, setting down the drinks before packing away the papers, pens, and flash drives into his pack.

“Han, I know I’m late, okay? I was in the middle of something.” Turning from you, he snags a mask off from a small hook on his wall. He shoves that into his jacket, before rummaging through his desk drawers, searching for something.

Han?

“Yes, I understand that it's an important meeting, I am trying my best to get there.” As you finish packing, he turns to you, whispering glasses, and you nod, beginning to search for them as well. He continues talking incomprehensibly on the phone, just as you spy the glasses. You snatch them, presenting them miraculously to him. He smiles at your ecstatic expression, taking them and placing them on his hat securely.

“Okay. Yes, I understand. Alright, I’ll see you soon.” With that, he ends the call, sighing as he places his phone back in his pocket and turns to you.

“I'm sorry about all that, I forgot I had to go to a meeting out of Yongsan-dong today and lost track of time.” He explains. You nod, understanding as he begins to position his mask on his face. “I was hoping to teach you the ropes a bit more, but I guess that will have to wait till tomorrow. Speaking of which, do you know what time to get here?”

“Yes. I'm supposed to get here around 7:30 am so that I’m ready.”

“Ready with what?” you smirk at his little question game before answering.

“Your schedule and coffee. You'll text me if you want me to get coffee for the other members. You'll also text me if I’m supposed to meet you in another place besides your studio. For now, I’ll be able to find any place in the building on the map you gave me.” He nods mutely as you recite your duties like a soldier. Once you're finished, he zips up his backpack and hikes it on his shoulder.

“Good. you'll be able to get the schedule from the receptionist at the front desk every morning. You'll also be accompanying me to every meeting, practice, or recording I have unless otherwise specified.” You nod in agreement, watching as he turns around in a circle seeming to search for something.

“Where did I…” reading his mind, you turn to the place where you put the drinks and hand him his coffee.

“Here you go.” You say, and he smiles, laughing at himself for his absentmindedness. He takes it from you, your hands making slight contact, but this time it isn't shocking. It's familiar, almost brotherly, makes you feel secure and comforted.

“Is there anything else I need to do?”

“Yes, actually if you could clean up my studio and the one we were working in, that would be a great help. You remember where it is right?” you nod, and he nods in return, turning to the door.

“After that, you'll be able to go home, I hope tomorrow I’ll be able to teach you more.” As he opens the door and steps outside, you bow to him, respectfully.

“Thank you, Mr. Kim. Once more, I apologize for being so late.” After a moment, you raise your head and find him staring at you with an unreadable expression. His soft brown eyes remind you of a wistful puppy. You tilt your head in confusion at the look, wondering what he could be thinking in that vast brain of his.

“Mr. Kim?”

“You don't need to do that.” He murmurs, as though he's talking half to himself.

“What?” you inquire, trying to make sure you heard him right. He turns fully to you, repeating himself once more, this time a bit louder for you to hear.

“You don't have to be so formal. I know everyone else does it, but you don't have to.”

You blink at him blankly.

“Jaejin never used them either. I guess it's easier to drop the formalities and work with someone who feels as though they’re a friend.” He explains, flashing a small smile your way. “I hope that won't be too hard.”

“Oh! Oh no! Not at all!” you say quickly, shaking your head vigorously.

“It makes it a bit easier on me, actually. Using honorifics can be a bit confusing.” You chuckle a bit and his smile grows wider, softening at the tips.

“Goodbye, Yen.” He says, turning away once more, before pausing and peeking over his shoulder at you as though he forgot something. “By the way, Jaejin was right."

"About what?" you ask, a bit confused, but all he does is smile.

"I'm glad he chose you as his replacement.”

The sweet phrase leaves you standing there frozen, unable to mutter a goodbye.

He chuckles to himself at the expression, placing his sunglasses on his nose before walking out of the room and down the hallway.

It takes you a moment, but once he’s gone, you shake out of your trance, your heart pounding deep in your chest.

“Thank you, Namjoon.” You whisper to yourself, holding your hand to your heart as you drop the honorific.

Crossing that barrier that turns you from a co-worker into his friend.

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: so...ship or skip?

chapter 11 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

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pipipinyyy · 3 years

Text

Explaining why I have added every song in my entire and very long Niragi playlist because I can and because over analyzing him is my passion (I usually update it from time to time but I'll do it with the current songs)

Completely self indulgent post, but I decided to share to feed my fellow Niragi stans (*˙︶˙*)☆*°

This is entirely based on my view of the songs and how I interpret them while thinking about Niragi. I'm aware that most of them have entirely different meanings, this is just for fun :) (Also sorry if my explanations don't make much sense, English is not my first language and I might make mistakes when trying to put my feelings and thoughts into words)

This may contain manga/s2 spoilers

Hayloft-Mother Mother: Vibes

Criminal-Britney Spears: The whole song describes him ("he is a sucker with a gun") and the fandom's obsession ("mama I'm in love with a criminal")

Daddy Issues-The Neighborhood: I feel like he would act like this, using the most vulnerable spots to pick on someone ("cry little girl, nobody does it like you do")

Psycho-Jin Dogg, OVER KILL: Vibes

Riot-Hollywood Undead: He'd definitely start a riot like he did in the 10 of hearts, burning and destroying anything that crosses his path

Bitches-Mindless Self Indulgence: He most likely thinks he's a total fuckboy and popular with girls since he can get almost anything he wants out of scarying people

Baby's on Fire-Die Antwoord: Vibes

Insane in the Brain-Cypress Hill: This man is being consumed by his own way of protecting himself

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing-Set It Off: Based on how he feels towards the people who hurt him in the past ("Listen, mark my words, one day, you will pay" "You've always been a huge piece of shit, if I could kill you, I would" "Karma is gonna come collect your debt")

Death no more-IC3PEAK: Vibes

Gasoline-I Prevail: Sort of similar to Riot, ("So burn it all down, burn it all down, I don't give a fuck")

Toxic-Britney Spears: The whole fandom knows how much of a piece of shit this dude can be, but we still find ourselves liking/enjoying his character (to an extent), a toxic addiction

Nice Guy-GRLwood: As much as I love this man, he'd use the "I'm a nice guy c'mon" card just to fuck. If he wants to, he'll get it, if he doesn't, he'll most likely get mad

Dernière danse-Indila: Vibes

TRRST-IC3PEAK: Mostly vibes, I kinda see this song as how he felt the first time he killed someone on purpose inside the borderlands ("mama they say I'm a terrorist, I did nothing wrong but I got on the blacklist")

Saint Bernard-Lincoln: Vibes

Nowhere To Run-Stegosaurus Rex: Being with him at the Beach would either be ignoring each other completely or a game of tag, no inbetween. If this man wants to kill you, he'll get his fun time out of it as well ("You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you")

The House of Wolves-Bring Me The Horizon: Based on how he sees life after being consumed by his current mental state ("Show me a sign, show me a reason to give a solitary fuck about your god damn beliefs" "What you call faith, I call a sorry excuse")

Smells Blood-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

SIU-Maretu: Similar to Daddy Issues, don't expect this man to be a therapist. If he sees anyone crying or panicking in or outside a game, he'd most likely tell them to suck it up, just like this song.

Judgement-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

MONSTER ENERGY GUN!-KevinKempt: Vibes + He for sure has an energy drink addiction, specially pre-borderlands

HURT-1 800 PAIN: Vibes

Fear Is The Mind Killer-Zheani: Vibes

I Bet on Losing Dogs: Based on how I know Niragi is toxic, and most likely unsaveable of his deteriorating mental state, but I still have him as my biggest comfort character ("I bet on losing dogs, I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place")

Emo Boy-Ayesha Erotica: He's been in an emo phase (and maybe still is), the lyrics are pretty self explanatory, they describe us Niragi simps perfecrly ("come on fuck me emo boy")

Crybaby-Destroy Boys: Vibes

The Fox's Wedding-MASA Works DESIGEN: Vibes

You're a useless child-Kikuo: We don't know much about his past, but judging by the unstoppable bullying he's suffered, his parents didn't care about him, or were straight up absent. He's been insulted by pretty much everyone in his past to the point of believing it and telling those things to himself ("You're a useless child, the most useless child in this world" "Drool in snot, dandruff, shit and piss" "I'm a useless child" "Nobody will save me" "I'm a lonely kid")

Take A Slice-Glass Animals: Vibes

Fighting With The Melody-Jimmy Urine: Vibes

Comics-Caravan Palace: Vibes

Rhinestone Eyes-Gorillaz: Vibes

Butch 4 Butch-Rio Romero: Mostly vibes, sort of how I think the most "peacefull" moments in a relationship with him would feel like, kind of bittersweet feeling

Suki Suki Daisuki-Jun Togawa: Yandere Niragi. If he's interested in someone, he'd go through an obsessive phase, most likely forcing the other person to "love" him. This man is so confused about the feeling of love that he's unable to tell when he loves someone or when he's obsessed with them due to his lack of attention ("Like you, like you, I love you. Say you love me or I'll kill you")

:(-The Garden: Vibes

Kitty City-Cyriak Harris: Vibes

Blood-My Chemical Romance: If Niragi went to a therapist, he'd act like this song, with his signature cocky and sarcastic personality (at least before he gets better) ("I can't control myself because I don't know how" "They can fix me proper with a bit of luck" "I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love")

A Mask of My Own Face-Lemon Demon: He feels like he needs to protect himself or else he will get hurt inside the borderlands by others again. He uses another personality, a completely ruthless one, even if he doesn't like it and hates himself for it, he doesn't see another way to deal with his fear, allowing his "new self" to consume himself. ("I'd wear that mask of my own face" "I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me")

I'm a Murderer-Freddie Dredd: Mostly vibes ("I'm a motherfucking murderer")

'Cause I'm a Liar-Mcki Robyns-P: He would lie just for fun even in serious situations. If he needs to manipulate someone to survive, he'll do it his way, after all, he doesn't care anymore, he just seeks for excitement. ("Without emotion, without devotion. It's much easier to fake something happy")

I Disagree-Poppy: I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel like this is how he sees and feels the world and those around him, feeling misunderstood and going his own way ("If only all of you could see the world I see, then maybe everyone could live in harmony")

Personal Jesus-Mindless Self Indulgence: He has a superiority complex, that's for sure. I don't think he sees himself as a god, but I see him joking about it

Rainbow Factory-GLAZE, WoodenToaster: Vibes

Frontier Psychiatrist-The Avalanches: I kinda see this as Aguni taking the role of Niragi's "father figure" inside the borderlands, realizing he's turning insane and is unable to control him ("That boy needs therapy")

Hate it. Hate it. "JIGAHIDAI!"-WADATAKEAKI Kurage P: Jealousy. I can see it either in a pre-borderland situation where he hates the popular students in school, or inside the borderlands hating both Chishiya and Arisu. Jealousy takes over him constructing a big ego, causing himself to develop his superiority complex ("You see, I hate that popular girl!" "Does she think I don't notice? How she looks at me as if I'm trash" "I want to be praised" "I'm different from you all, I have my own ego! I'm not a side character" "I have zero common sense. I'm special")

Villain-Stella Jang: He knows damn well he's a villain, that's his goal after all, but what if someone took his point of view? wouldn't the villains be all of those who hurted him in the first place? ("We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side, but what if we are the villains on the other")

Violent-carolesdaughter: This is how I view an argument inside a relationship with Niragi. He's used to violence, to cause fear, and getting what he wants, so being in a healthy relationship would require a lot of patience and strenght. While he's getting better and suppressing those violent actions, there will be times where he accidentally uses violence or threatens the other person unintentionally, mostly hurting himself and his partner psychologically. The lyrics change between both points of view ("Don't make me get violent, I want my ring back baby that's a diamond" "She knows I'm a wreck" "I gave you all my trust and I told you just don't break it")

Hey Bunny-Baby Bugs: Based on how I think it would feel to partner up with him inside the borderlands and catching feelings for him while knowing the huge mess he is ("Hey bunny, what's with those evil eyes?" "Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us?" "Hey bunny, what if I loose you too? If I become the monster, together we can always be blue")

Kokoronashi-majiko: I'm pretty sure Niragi isn't able to see himself as someone able to love, even if he doesn't want to be alone (just like when he confesses this feeling while fighting with Chishiya and Arisu). If someone truly loved him and was willing to not letting him go, it would hurt. He can't see himself as someone who can love or be loved, so he can't accept the love he's seeking for in case that turns him "weaker" making his true self confront with the protective mean personality he's created. He could learn how to accept it, so he might want the other person to stay in the end, but it wouldn't be easy for him to accept it ("It's awful, I'd rather you destroy my body, tear it to sheds, do as you please" "No matter how much I'm loved by you, my heart is just one" "I don't know this, don't leave me alone")

Nightmare Parade-FAKE TYPE.: Vibes

Slipping Through My Fingers-Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried: Niragi seeing himself loosing his young, gentle and caring personality due to his fear, being unable to control what's happening inside, nostalgia and sadness kicking in ("The feeling that I'm loosing her forever" "That funny little girl" "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time")

Kuroneko No Tango-Pink Martini, The Von Trapps: Vibes

YKWIM?-Yot Club: Him confroting his feelings of loneliness when he's left alone with his thoughts ("It feels like I care too much when I'm alone, oh no")

Romantic Lover-Eyedress: Just appreciating his physical appearance ("She's a killer, I love her features")

Wrecking Ball-Mother Mother: Based on how he sees himself as someone who needs to destroy everything in a way or another in order to be powerful + the fun he has with it ("Call me a reckless wrecking ball" "Let's break it just because we can")

Edge-Rezz: Vibes

Freaks-Surf Curse: Again, confronting feelings when loving someone, but not in such a painful as Kokoronashi ("I need a place to stay where I can cover up my face" "Don't cry, I'm just a freak")

Little Bit-Lykke Li: Vibes

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)-Will Wood and the Tapeworms: Vibes

PHONKY TOWN-PlayaPhonk: Vibes

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE-Måneskin: Freaky time. He would absolutely love this song, definitely his type of thing ("You could be the beauty and I could be the monster" "I wanna touch your body so fucking electric" "I wanna make you hungry, then I wanna feed you")

#BrooklynBloodPop!-SyKo: Vibes

A Cold Freezin' Night-The Books: Vibes

A Pearl-Mitski: My most favorite song to associate with Niragi. Represents his evolution as a character. Creating an scenario where he is loved by someone,he rejects it at first, acting tough ("I don't want your touch") and then proceeds to explain why ("It's just that I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" "it left a pearl in my hand and I roll it around every night just to watch it glow") the war being the borderlands and his new personality, he loved it, but nobody drew a line and it's getting out of hand. The pearl is the feeling of power, the one he has to remember when feeling weak just to feel something. At the end of the song it changes to ("Sorry I can't take your touch"), realizing that he wants love, but he's not able to take it or else he'll become the Niragi from the past

Problematic-Bo Burnham: Him acknowledging his problematic actions but not wanting to apologize because he doesn't feel the need to. He knows he's done bad things but he is going to laugh at it and be a sarcastic mf about it

First Love/Late Spring-Mitski: Similar to Kokoronashi, he wouldn't be able to accept love and how it makes him feel. He would think that he prefers for everyone to hate him and be lonely instead of sacrificing his tougher side. Also talks about how he's grown way too quickly for him to understand feelings properly ("So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, please don't say you love me" "One word from you and I would jump out of this ledge I'm on baby" "I was so young when I behaved 25, yet now I find I've grown into a tough child"

The Other Side Of Paradise-Glass Animals: Vibes

Bodybag-Chloe Moriondo: How I feel about liking his character, confronting feelings basically ("Don't know if I hate you or if I wanna date you" "I don't wanna like you, I just wanna tie you up, then keep you in a cage and watch you sleep for ages"

Get Into It (Yuh)-Doja Cat: Vibes

Psycho Killer-2005 Remaster- Talking Heads: Vibes

HOT DEMON B!TCHES NEAR U!!!-CORPSE, Night Lovell: Vibes

INFERNO-Sub Urban, Bella Poarch: Again, another song that describes him pretty well ("Baby I'm the reason why hell's so hot" "Terribly like terrible, she's a villain" "Think I'm getting butterflies but it's really something telling me to run away")

Bad Morning-Omori: Vibes

Trouble Brewing: Vibes

Dueles Tan Bien-Bruses: Another song about my confronting feelings with this man ("You know what? You taste better than alcohol to me. You know that and you've got control" "Because you hurt, and you hurt so good that I don't know what to do")

And that's it!! This took me the whole day to write but it makes me very happy to be able to share it :)

I've you've read the entire thing, hope you enjoyed the character analysis! ლ(◞‿◟ლ)

#Spotify #imawa no kuni no alice #alice in borderland #alice in borderland netflix #niragi #niragi suguru #suguru niragi #character playlist #aib niragi #aib #overanalyzing niragi is my favorite hobby

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mocacheezy · 3 years

Text

Things that made watching Transformers (2007) easier and even enjoyable:

[note: B'verse gets the treatment that it gets by fandom for good reasons. There are tons of posts that dissect the bullshit of these movies far better than my second-language-english-non-american self could ever tackle, so I am not doing that, or plan on doing that. But if I decide that I'll get through every continuity of the franchise I will find a way to make it fun for myself. And so, this is my search for golden nuggets in these movies, because they did bring in new fans to the franchise and that's why we have other continuities that we might not have otherwise. Credit where it's due, and some positivity for those that did find B'verse at least amusing if nothing else. ]

🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪

Frenzy

Anytime Frenzy was on screen made me smile because his movements and personality were hilarious, he is just so expressive despite looking like someone super glued a bunch of knifes together. I wouldn't know it was Frenzy if I didn't go to the Wiki, but no matter that, he was funny and that's what matters.

The original Cybertronian robot modes

We don't see them for long, but the glimpses were glorious. Just look at Optimus

Gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to see the details up close. Maybe I'll go looking eventually, but this is just so nice.

We also get a "sexily rises from the pool" scene with Ironhide (probably unintentional and I am biased due to being a robofucker. In any case, very very nice and Cybertronians look so good as aliens)

"Excuse me, are you the Tooth Fairy?"

You see this kid?

This little girl was the only human I cared about in the movie until I saw just how badass Mikaela is, and how cool the military dude is. I don't like kids, but I would lay down my life for this girl.

This one scene just makes me think of what would happen if her parents showed up way earlier. Ironhide would be her guardian and it would be both adorable and hilarious because "Honey, you have to drive in a sentient alien that looks just like our car because the goverment men said so or there will be consequences and potential alien threats."

There are so many joke potentials there; the cultural barrier, the "I am the ine that is supposed to keep her safe" glaring contests, there is just so much shenanigans that could happen.

Also, tea party with the kid. Tea party with the kid.

Sam Witwicky actually reacts like an average human would when faced with the situations he finds himself in

Do I like Sam Witwicky? No, he is the kind of character that I would want to punch irl because of his personality and actions. He is disgusting. But watching him scamper and scream and stutter when faced with giant metal robot aliens that can squish him like a bug? Good, that was a beliavable reaction and I enjoyed it a great deal.

Megatron. Just, ✨Megatron✨

(the best screenshot of the few I could take while watching, no, I am not going back for a better one, he looks perfect like this)

I also laughted at how they kept him frozen like a popsicle. And not even well, like, they COULD'VE made an actual freezer and pop him in instead of using those couple of tubes just so he was displayed for all personell to gawk at. HE CRASHED IN THE ANTARCTIC!

The design looks so good, because it looks ALIEN and POINTY and AGH!!! The colors? There are no colors that would make him stand out, he looks like someone opened a cutlery drawer, mixed up what's inside, threw in some extra knifes for a good measure and then shook the whole thing until this guy materialized from the pile. It is both incredibly annoying and satisfying.

🔪

Mr. Welker did an amazing job with his voice, I don't know what the directions were, but oh man it sure sent shivers down my spine. That is the kind of voice that spells "You are going to die" and I already have my coffin picked out.

EDIT: SO APPARENTLY! IT WAS NOT WELKER THAT VOICED MEGATRON.

It was Hugo Weaving, and yes the man did am amazing job, but I apologize a million times, I was CERTAIN that THE OG VA OF MEGATRON WOULD ALSO HAVE VOICED MEGATRON. LIKE, OKAY BAY, OKAY!

🔪

LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF ICE! With how quick he came back fully online once Frenzy turned off the freeze liquid tubes, I bet he was half awake through the whole thing. Systems just below idling or something, in any case, AGENTS YOU ARE SO DUMB! WHO WAS GIVING SUBPAR FUNDING TO THEM, THEY BETTER BE FIRED!

I also was glad that Sam refused to call him by the name the sector asigned to him, despite Megatron being in stasis. And that he insisted they use the correct name. Good job Sam, acknowledge the threat by the actual name and show respect to a fellow sentient lifeform. Even though said lifeform is hellbent on destruction of the universe and your world.

ALSO, AND I CANNOT STRESS THE LAUGHTER AND AMUSEMENT HERE; the sheer DISRESPECT! They don't disassemble Megatron's corpse. No, these idiots, these absolute morons decide to dump him into the ocean, letting him sink to the lowest possible point (not sure if they did say it was the M' Trench or not), where there are proper freezing temperatures - good! You're learning, good job!! - just... In full. Full corpse. What's left of him. Just blup! Down with the fishies he goes!

I understand that they probably didn't know how to approach Optimus about it, but... At least behead the guy. He came back ONCE, who is to say he won't come back again?! Safety precautions my dears.

They also completely disregard what a giant extraterrestrial metal alien rusting away on the bottom of the ocean could do to the ecosystem at large. Like, I find this incredibly amusing, because this ISN'T something most folks think about when watching a movie but we have giant squids down there. We have so much weird things down there, the ocean isn't even fully explored AND YOU WANT TO CHUCK AN ALIEN CORPSE DOWN THERE?!

Now the real question: is he a looker? *looks at the pictures* hmmmm, depends on if you like knifes. Like, really like knifes. Like really, really REALLY want to get it on with a fine assembly of kitchen knifes that were exposed to the elements but somehow haven't rusted away completely.

I think he's neat.

Needs a good long powerwash though. Preferrably with something to help the whole "I was frozen for more than 50 years and sprang back to action as soon as I woke up" thing that happened.

My man needs to take a moment and get his bearings, like dude. Please. You can conquer the world after some energon and slow system boot-up period. The strain on the systems my dude, you ain't young.

Also love that this "death" was probably reused in TFP because lord golly, do we love our faves ending up under the sea. (Though Megan took a much bigger fall, Bayverse WAS PLOPPED INTO THE WATER LIKE A NEWLY ACQUIRED FISH I CAN'T YOU GUYS I CAN'T!)

In short: I love the comedy of american military giving such disrespect to an Alien Warlord. These guys are really sealing their fate.

I loved the way they got the Witwicky family to be important to the plot

The whole "selling my great great grandpa's glasses on e-bay" thing gives us a very good self insert/OC/rewrite/movie AU potential. Don't like Sam and his disgustingness? Find a way to write a cousin or some far off relative or hell, even just someone who buys the glasses off e-bay and go wild with it!

Archibald was also clearly an inspiration for Isaac Sumdac as far as I can tell, what with both of them using Megatron as a means of helping technology advance.

Only difference being one of them lived and actually talked to Megatron after he came back online and the other got driven to madness and death due to the amount of information beamed into his brain. Isaac also acquired a space baby daughter, so the guy is absolutely luckier of the two.

Mikaela being fucking competent and badass throughout the movie, and not being just fanservice eyecandy

I could do without the fanservice, but her personality? I loved it. I loved that she wasn't crawling to Sam and wasn't being "hard to get". Which is also why I was very displeased at the very sudden "oh yeah, romance! She returns his feelings after he took her for a ride and let her vent her frustrations!". The movie is 2 hours long and they could throw in some moments where these two connect?

Welp, it is an action movie, boy gets girl no matter what, can't complain about the staple in the genre.

However, Mikaela x Optimus? Now THAT is something I considered as soon as the two locked eyes and interacted. Like, even taking my shipping goggles off, these two could have a very interesting dynamic and Mikaela could be a very good protagonist. I wonder what the movie would be like with her as the lead and Sam being the fucking moron she has to drag along with her.

BUT ALSO! Can we talk about the horrible, excruciating fact that her and Bumblebee drove around with Bee's damaged legs dragging over asphalt all the time he was shooting at 'Cons? There were sparks flying! SHE WAS DRIVING BACKWARDS! She took command of the situation and did what she could because Bee still wanted TO FIGHT!

Also, they way she beat up Frenzy? Gorgeous, I want to slap Sam's non-existent balls off for not atleast saying "thanks". The dude would be sliced thinner than cabbage if she wasn't there.

The millitary man we are supposed to care about because his wife gave birth while he was on duty and we see his baby three times in the whole movie, actually being a pretty awesome and well-written character

Look, personally, I was a little confused at the reason why we were seeing his wife and baby interacting/the scene where she thinks her husband is dead. Mostly because I don't like kids, so scenes like that, when I don't even know who the character is, have no impact at all. Him having a baby isn't going to make me like the guy more, unless I know his character. Him being absent because he's on duty doesn't mean he'll be a good dad (though he looks like the kind of man that will try his best, and I like that in a man). So seeing his wife and kid at the start of the movie seemed pointless to me.

BUT! FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVES HERE!

Lennox is a good character and whenever he was on screen I was invested in what is going to happen to him. He's the kind of action movie lead that would have me invested, despite my meh interest in mainly gun fight oriented action movies.

Essentially, loved the guy, would love to see more of him while also being able to tell what's happening on screen. Also the comedy scenes he was in were usually funny.

Okay so these are the things I like about the first movie! It was very long, had to watch it on 2,5x speed because it simultainously dragged while ALSO giving me too much information, but the moments like these and the way my imagination latched onto characters I liked made it watchable. It isn't a movie I'd use to introduce someone to the TF franchise, but it provided me with lots of material for my imagination to run wild.

#moca watches #transformers #transformers bayverse #moca screeches #Yes the cutlery divider is due to the Decepticons looking like they do. It amuses me greatly.

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needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas · 3 years

Note

Damn, Kohga has clearly been fucked by A LOT of men (like damn, his ass doesn't even need prep) And Sooga is clearly possessive AS FUCK. Consider: Kohga tying down/ordering Sooga to sit still while Kohga jacks it/fingers himself, while telling Sooga FILTHY stories of his past dalliances until Sooga can't handle it anymore.

Ooooh this is a GOOD idea. Sooga maybe bottom, but he's a possessive bottom, and we STAN that energy.

Kohga was horny as SHIT. Nothing new in that sentence, but what was different was the fact that it was caused by Sooga's possessiveness. It started off innocently enough; Kohga wanting to spank his big, juicy ass. Simple enough. Then he got into it. Hard, fierce spanking across his ass. And what caused it? That classic territorial nature of all blade masters. Kohga so much as MENTIONED bringing one in, and he just slapped his ass six ways from sunday. Hell, he needed to sit on a pillow for a few days after that. He even recalled how Sooga apologized for that, but Kohga would have none of it. Sooga was an ANIMAL. He just had to take the beast out of the cage.

"But how…."

He asked himself, rolling over to his stomach. He sent Sooga out on some scavenger hunt (he did this whenever he needed Sooga out of the base for a while), and was left to his own devices. He needed time to think about just how he was gonna get a rise out of Sooga. Poking the beast, so to speak. He couldn’t bring another guy in to watch, they'd start beating the shit out of each other (though them fighting was ALWAYS hot). Sooga wouldn’t even let them be near their DOOR when they did it. It was ridiculous. Other guy's Kohga fucked was not this complicated. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He nearly bolted out of bed, completely astounded by his own brilliance.

"Kohga! You're not only a hunk, you're a GENIUS!"

Kohga knew just what to do.

---------------------

"Master Kohga, I have returned."

Kohga nearly bounced in place upon hearing his voice. He was SO ready for his pretty boy to come home. He opened his door, nearly yanking Sooga inside his room, and pulling him into a hug. Sooga sputtered in surprise, before chuckling and returning the affection.

"I was not expecting such a warm welcome for my arrival."

"Well, shame on you! Been waiting for you to come back! You like that mushy couple bullshit, so you'll love this!"

He looked up at Sooga, who cocked his head to the side.

"I do. But you don't."

"One, shut up. Two, I love YOU. So! We're gonna do something...interesting."

He pulled up a chair for Sooga (aka the good chair he got from Kingy), while he sat on his bed. Sooga was clearly not understanding what was happening, but he was going along with it, especially given Kohga’s excitement. He had drinks, snacks (mainly slices of nut cake and fruit), and even candles. It was sweet, honestly. Kohga patted his hand, clearly excited.

"So, Traysi recommends this for couples who are VERY serious about each other."

"The woman who runs the rumor mill? Should we be following-"

Kohga flicked his mask, huffing.

"We do not disrespect Traysi here. And yes, we're doing this. So you're ready?"

"If you are, absolutely."

"Good, you're going to go first. Now, tell me about EVERYONE you've been with before."

Sooga seemed confused by this. But, it was not only a command from Kohga, but Kohga actually and honestly trying to bond with him. Who could say no to that? Sooga thought about it for a moment.

"Let's see...when I was five, I married my neighbor's daughter. We had a mud cake and everything."

He chuckled. It wasn’t at all a serious answer, but it was just. So odd, recalling his past relationships, especially since they seemed so redundant now. He rubbed his chin a bit.

"Then there was Nabooru. I dated her when I was about fourteen. Lovely girl."

Kohga cocked his head to the side.

"You ACTUALLY dated girls?"

"In my teen years. When I was seventeen we broke up, started to date a stable boy. Shad. He was...a bit of a bookworm. I really liked him."

"What happened to you guys?"

Sooga hesitated, opening his mouth then closing it again.

"Father didn't....what I mean to say is...uhm, If I may skip, Master Kohga."

Oof, rough territory. Kohga waved his hand, letting him know to press on. Sooga shook the thought out of his head, happy to no longer be thinking about it.

"Then there were the occasional hookups. Nothing serious, a few men to share a bed with for the night. Chudly, Benja, and Vilia. Then it was you."

Kohga blinked. Wow. Could buy a piece of bread with that body count.

"That's...it? Only FIVE people? And one was a WOMAN? That’s ALL the people you’ve been with?!”

“Yes. Though, I wouldn’t fully include the first one, in all honesty.”

Sooga rubbed the back of his neck shyly, clearly a bit embarrassed from how little that seemed to be. Kohga just couldn’t fathom that. Five people, in his entire life. Sooga was a young stud, he could get plenty of his ass, just on his walk home. Kohga couldn’t fathom that. Sooga seemed to shrink a bit under his clearly bewildered look.

“Is that...too few?”

Kohga realized he was making Sooga feel self conscious. He was aiming for jealousy, not this. He raised his hands up a bit, shaking his head.

“No! No, any number is fine, even none. I’m just saying, I expected a LOT more. I mean, LOOK at you!”

Sooga chuckled, blushing like crazy underneath his mask like the cute guy he was.

“Well, thank you, Master Kohga. But no, I have not been with anyone else. Just those, and I haven’t missed one. You know, I can actually see the merit in this piece of advice. It feels good, getting that off my chest. Is it your turn?”

Kohga almost wanted to cuddle his big, dumb face. Thankfully, he was too horny to bail on his plans. Kohga nodded.

“It is, actually. BUT. I have one order to give you, got it?”

“I...suppose.”

“You have to stay put in that chair. No matter what. Understand?”

Sooga looked confused, but he nodded.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand. But, an order is an order. I will stay seated.”

“Good. Good.”

Kohga grabbed his box of fun stuff, placing it right next to him, then laid on his back. He hoisted one leg over the other, arms behind his head.

“Okay, get comfy. Now, the first guy I dated was when I was...seventeen or so? I wanted to date earlier, but dad said to wait. Anyway, he was a merchant that’d come by every once and while. He was SUPER cute, and honestly? Not too bad of a kisser. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only guy he was seeing, but...well, I couldn’t complain, he was super cute. Nice hair. Always dated guys with nice hair.”

Kohga remembered those early years. Back when he didn’t know shit. Back when kissing was new and exciting to him. Sooga looked confused.

“I thought you said no one but you and your father saw your face.”

“Oh no, I NEVER took this off. A wise man caught nude will cover his face, not his privates.”

That made Sooga chuckle.

“A rather clever, yet lewd saying. Please, do continue.”

“Gladly.”

Kohga twiddled with his fingers as he recalled. Is he supposed to go in order? Or just whatever crossed his mind? He thought about it, before he thought about it.

“Oooh, then there was another one of my boyfriends. He was going through like, this weird hair phase? His hair was red, he had it up, and he was just. Big. Big, buff, and honestly he was just. Stupid. Let me tell you, I could grab onto his arm, and he could lift me up with absolutely no issues. We didn’t last long though, he thought he was hot shit. He GENUINELY said ‘babe, you’re pretty, but I’m prettier’. Can you imagine that? Ugh. Dude fucked good though, he REALLY did. He’d get all hot and sweaty after his work outs, and then. Well, dude fucked good. Real good.”

Kohga stripped himself free of his pants, and held his finger up when Sooga clearly wanted to ask questions. He stripped himself free, before getting comfy again, just stroking at his thighs.

“I remember once, when he got back from his trip across seas, he ended up fucking me right in the bar. We got just, so drunk, and he couldn’t keep himself off of me. He railed me in front of all his men, the barkeep, and pretty much who seemed to be paying attention. I was a young thing back then, a thick dick was all it took. I remember, I tried to give him his beer after he came in me, and I just, dumped it all over his chest by accident. He was a good sport about it, all I had to do was clean him up. Only, I didn’t have a rag, so...I had to improvise. Licked that dude like a lollipop.”

Sooga not so gracefully, grabbed a bottle of his favorite oil, and used it to rub along his thighs, just for a bit of a show, before sticking two fingers into his ass. Been a while since he touched himself like this, much less in front of someone else, and it felt GOOD, watching his greedy eyes upon him.

“It wasn’t a long relationship, but it was a fun one. Let's see, who else was there...ooh, there was that one guy. Dad HATED him, and I think there was a huge appeal in that. He was in charge of fixing trains and stuff. Big, muscle guy. Cute scar, tattoos, big hands. He wasn’t as rebellious as the other guy. We lasted a bit longer, but not by much. Super sweet. I remember he'd pick me out of nowhere, just because he could. That dude was the sorta romance then in your pants dance type. But he was KINKY. Dude really liked holding me down and giving it to me. I remember, we got REAL rough with it one time, he tied my hands up, tied me up in his workshop, and just railed my ass. Swore we almost got caught by a client once!"

Kohga laughed, really digging and stretching his ass.

"He taught me how to do this. Taught me how to get my nice, oily fingers inside of me. Taught me how to get nice and ready for the cocks he knew I wanted. In a way...he was my first.”

He snuck a glance at Sooga’s eyes, and he saw it. The little sparkles of jealousy. He knew he wasn’t his first, but knowing the details really got under his skin. Kohga introduced three fingers now, really arching his back as he felt himself be a little bit stretched. Sooga wasn’t goosey loosey down there, but he could take three fingers, knuckle deep, before he felt that familiar longing inside of him.

“Then...Then there was this other guy. Up until I started the clan, he was my partner in crime. Long hair, always kept in a ponytail. Nice, strong hands, and his eyes were something else. They were so...intense. Should’ve seen me the first time I caught those eyes, I was on him like a stack of bananas. He was the more...aloof than most of the guys I dated. He’d pop in and out, constantly looking for ways to get stronger. Never really got that guy. We would just..somehow end up in bed together. Sometimes it would be in a bed over some stable, sometimes it’d be some random, abandoned spot in the mountains. Either way, he’d fuck me, and be gone by morning. Hell, I don’t even think I caught his name. I just remembered we REALLY, REALLY liked each other.”

Kohga had to admit, recalling all of his past lovers was very, very fun. Recalling how many big, strong men wanted him, how each one fucked him differently, it was thrilling. He pulled his fingers out of himself, letting Sooga take a gander at his oiled, willing ass. The same ass that knew many, many men, and started to pump his cock. He would go on with his other boyfriends, but he didn’t want to wait longer. He wanted to hit Sooga right in that weak spot.

“Then the clan started. Those other blade masters...well. Let’s just say there’s a reason they’re so high in the ranks.”

He saw Sooga’s fingers grip onto the seats. He was already fuming from his past lovers, but his own peers? Oh, that was a way to get under a blade master’s hide. He was getting ANGRY. Not at Kohga of course, just the motion that ANYONE touched his precious Kohga.

“I remember once, a couple of them snuck into my room. They thought I was dead asleep, but I was very much awake. I felt them grope me, felt them pull at my clothes till it came off. Next thing I knew I had two in my ass, and two in my hands. Course I had that one guy in my mouth two, and the other three watching...oh who really knows? Once one was done, another guy took over. They pumped me full of cum, sucked and toyed with my cock. And I remembered I’d bark at them not to cum until I did, so they fucked me HARDER. Let me tell you, I have NEVER been that full of cum. Was practically swimming in it, and that was just how I liked it. I remembered them all tuckered out, asking if they pleased me.”

Kohga lifted his head up to look at his eyes. So angry, so jealous and furious, as if he was going to kill them for an absolute injustice.

“This...was the only case of them, yes?”

“Ooooh no. No. Not at all. Until you fell into the mix, I’d have a select few fuck me a few times a week. I still remember my favorite one. Big, strong guy. He’d tie my hands up in rope, nice and tight, and he’d just hold me down when he fucked me. He’d lean into my ear and whispered words dirty enough to make me shake. He was my favor-”

That was enough. Suddenly Sooga was on top of him, slamming his palm over Kohga’s mouth. Kohga was expecting something angry, something a bit kinky. But no. Sooga was FURIOUS. There was no stammering, no sweet talking, not even him asking as sweetly as he usually would. He just stuffed his cock in his eager, oiled ass, and fucked him. Fucked him with enough force that the head board kept knocking against the wall, that his hips ached from such a big, heavy body putting so much force into him.

"Stop it. Stop it. You're doing this to get a rise out of me. You want me to fuck you so badly, Master Kohga? I'll do that. I'll fuck you. I'LL be your favorite. No one else. Just me. Look at me."

And Kohga was LOOKING. Sooga had his legs wrapped around his own, keeping him in place so he had no choice but to take that nice, hard cock, right against that good fucking spot. Kohga tugged and clawed at his hand, as if he was trying to get Sooga off. Thank god Sooga knew better. Kohga just liked to thrash a bit, really MAKE his partner fuck his shit up. And Sooga was LOVING it. Kohga managed to move his mouth away a bit, trying not to grin too wildly.

"That's it, FUCK ME Sooga! Fuck my oiled ass, make me think of only YOUR cock!"

Kohga reached up to grab fistfulls of his uniform, yanking him to his face. Fuck that beautiful, panting face.

"Fuck me nice and proper, Sooga. Make me cum. Be my favorite boy, make my exes look like fucking LOSERS!"

Sooga may be pounding his ass like dough, but Kohga’s demands were still Kohga's. Sooga obeyed, shoving his fingers into Kohga’s pretty mouth, nearly making him gag as he continued to pound into him. Kohga knew he did that because he liked his dirty talk. Knew that he would cum if he listened to his pleading Master anymore, and he really, really wanted to be a good boy. Unfortunately, Sooga was so weak for his master. His fingers peeled out of his mouth, Sooga quickly becoming un done by not only his words, but his nice, tight body. Not that Kohga minded a small break from the rather large fingers. He was happy to sit there, moaning and grumbling, just absolutely so close to that edge.

“You LIKE fucking your Master Kohga, don’t you big guy?”

For a moment, they looked each other in the face, and Kohga only saw lust and competition. Exactly what he deserved to see in those big, pretty eyes of his. Sooga seemed to feel the exact same, as he leaned down, and pressed his forehead against his. For a moment, he was calm, still.

“I love you. More than anything. As such...I refuse to let your heart, or your loins, long for another.”

Translation? ‘Your ass is fucking mine’. This was right before Sooga put one hand on his chest, and the other on the headboard, continuing to slam his hips against Kohga. He couldn’t stop him (well he was strong enough to, but who the fuck would stop a BEAST like this?), and that’s how he liked it. He liked the force of his thrusts, liked the way the bed seemed to complain from the force, and loved, absolutely loved the feeling as hot seed was pumped into his insides. Kohga greedily raked his fingers down his back, finding himself cumming almost completely on time with Sooga. It had been SO long since that had happened, and it made poor Kohga’s body tremble. He sat there for a moment, letting Sooga finish emptying his balls right into him. It took a lot out of poor Sooga, given his panting, but his hips didn’t completely stop, instead settling for a nice, slow roll into Kohga.

“M...master Kohga? I’m...sorry.”

“Fucking hell Sooga, don’t you DARE apologize here, you ANIMAL.”

Kohga chuckled, wiping his face underneath his mask, finding himself drenched in sweat. Sooga shook his head.

“You don’t understand. I uh, do believe I broke the bed frame.”

Kohga was a bit too buzzed to fully understand, before it clicked. He leaned over a bit, and sure enough, Sooga broke three out of the four legs underneath his bed. What a feat. Kohga tossed his head back as he laughed, pushing into his shoulder.

“Oh, you were NOT kidding! Damn Sooga, look at you! Though you’re a big boy, shoot for all four next time.”

Sooga lightly shook his head, sighing. He could tell he was amused in his exhaustion.

“You’re relentless, Master Kohga, truly.”

Sooga’s finger danced up his chest, before he flicked his chin.

“The other Blade Master could do it.”

Sooga’s firm hand pushed onto his chest, nearly knocking the wind out of Kohga.

“You enjoy me putting me through trials, Master Kohga. You really, really do.”

“Oh, bite me, big boy.”

Sooga’s voice got nice and low, making Kohga nearly swoon underneath him.

“Is that a challenge?”

Something told Kohga, that Sooga was ready to prove himself as the best of the best.

Even if it took many, many more attempts.

#asks #kohga #sooga #lemon #I would LOVE #for you guys to get all the characters i referenced here #and kohga wasn't even DONE with his list #dudes fucked more men than link has killed bokoblins

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maplecornia · 3 years

Text

chapter 27

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 1.39K

𝔞/𝔫: so the continuous posting every day has now officially ended now that we have caught up in the story ^^ so be expecting updates every Saturday instead of every day lmao

The door opens before you have a chance to turn away.

You don't know why you're so scared, but you do know that being called in to meet the chairman of HYBE entertainment isn't necessarily a good thing. Especially when you haven't even started your first day yet.

Swallowing hard, you step forward, almost wanting to reach out and take Namjoon's hand. If you do, maybe then you have someone to lean on. Someone to help you not feel so afraid. However, his presence behind you offers you more than enough comfort and you take a breath, grateful that you have his moral support.

The door shutting tightly behind the two of you, you raise your eyes to find BangPD sitting at the head of the room, his chin resting on his hands. You pause in the doorway, waiting for his invitation to sit as he regards you with those small thoughtful eyes. Unable to stand the uncomfortable tension, you clear your throat.

"What's going on?" you murmur, your voice weak despite the attempt to strengthen it. BangPD smiles at your question and leans back in his chair, nodding slightly to Namjoon.

"Mrs. Lin, please take a seat." He requests, and Namjoon obliges, placing his hand on the small of your back to lead you to a small sofa set amid the massive office. As he sits you down, he takes your hand in his own before resting on the cushion next to you. Inwardly, you smile, feeling a bit of the fear ebbing away.

"Did I do something wrong?" You inquire, peering up at him as BangPD rests on the cool gray couch opposite of you.

"Of course not." He chuckles at your innocent question before leaning back in the chair and resting his face on his hand. As though he were measuring you up, making sure you fit his standards. You squirm a bit under his gaze, and Namjoon glares at him, his hold on your hand growing subconsciously tighter. "I simply wanted to ask you a question, a proposal if you will."

You bite your lip in nervous anticipation, regarding him with wary eyes. At your silence, his smile grows, and it makes you uncomfortable. Somehow, you know that you are not in control of the situation. Feeling that slip away, you don't know if you'll be able to conduct yourself properly.

After a moment, he leans forward and picks up a remote. He presses a button and a small speaker on the table crackles to life. There's a few moments of static before a voice fills the voice, and your heart pummels to your stomach.

Your voice.

Your blood turning cold, you look up at BangPD with wide eyes.

What is he going to do? Am I fired? Will Jaejin lose his job?

Turning to Namjoon, you try to read his expression, but he's focused solely on the chairman, his expression unreadable.

What does he think? Is he upset with me?

It's not even your first day, and already you're in deeper water than you signed up for.

"I--" you begin, but BangPD pauses the track and leans forward towards you, cutting you off.

"Is this you?" he murmurs. You wonder why he's asking a question, he already knows the answer to. Stunned, you don't answer him, and he smiles once more, leaning back. There's a moment of silence, as the two of you regard each other. One in confusion, the other in amusement.

Biting your bottom lip, you can't help but feel a bit indignant. Why is he playing with you? Is this some kind of game? You don't want to be a piece on his little chessboard.

Before you can open your mouth to respond, Namjoon brushes your cheek, gathering your attention. You flinch before turning to him, but he doesn't look fazed. Instead, his hand tightens around yours, and those solemn eyes bore into yours, calming you without so much as a second glance.

"Yen, you're talented. BangPD thinks so as well."

When he says those words, you can't help but feel a taste of bile rising in your throat. You bite your bottom lip, trying to keep yourself from hyperventilating, but when you see his face pass over Namjoon's kind eyes, it's hard not to. Your hand tightens, nails digging into your palm, as you try to calm yourself down, erase toxic memories that refuse to let you free.

"What?" you murmur, your voice hoarse and terrified.

"Ms. Lin, what I'm about to offer you is something that could drastically affect your life and the future of our company." Turning to the renowned chairman, you can hear the pounding of your heartbeat reverberating in your ears. You don’t notice the flash of remorse across Namjoon’s eyes, nor the way he tightens his jaw as soon as BangPD speaks. "So I want you to seriously consider before responding."

"What are you talking about?" you nearly snap, but he doesn't say anything more, just places a file on the table. He pushes it towards you, and though reluctantly, you draw your hand out of Namjoon's grip, pulling the file into your lap.

You regard BangPD with wary eyes before opening the file.

"What is this?" you murmur, squinting at the neatly printed Korean.

"A contract."

You balk, nearly dropping the papers in your lap as you look up at him. You can feel the fear growing tighter in the pit of your stomach, his voice coming back to haunt you once more. BangPD smiles at your silence, his eyes softening.

"Ms. Lin, I would like to sign you as a trainee. Underneath BigHit entertainment."

Your hand tightening around the document, you swallow hard.

"What?"

Not again, oh God please don't let it happen again.

"Yen, this is your dream isn't it?" Namjoon asks from beside you, his hand resting on your knee, an attempt to calm you down. Namjoon doesn’t know why he’s saying this, shouldn’t he be stopping you? Shouldn’t he be finding reasons so you could say no? But inwardly, he cannot stand to see your face change that way. He can’t stand to see you afraid. His heart aches every time he sees that look in your eyes.

BangPD catches the exchange, his eyes calculating and silent.

Interesting.

"You don't have to make a decision right now." He sighs resting his head on his hand once more. You look up at him, your eyes bare and vulnerable and he squints, intrigued. You may seem like an open book, but Bang Sihyuk can tell that there is more behind your innocence. He wonders if he wants to know what secrets they keep. "I'll give you a week to think it over."

Your mouth turning dry, you try not to show your relief. Maybe after a week, he'll forget. Maybe after a week, you won't be so interesting.

After all, it's not that hard to forget about me.

You try not to be bitter about the thought, but you can't help it. After all, Namjoon was right.

This is your dream.

Looking down at the contract, you grit your teeth as though that would make the lump in your throat disappear.

This was your dream.

So why did he have to ruin it?

After a moment, BangPD nods to Namjoon, and he stands. Tapping you softly on the shoulder, he pulls you up with him, your hands clinging onto the contract as though it were a lifeline. Concerned about your current condition, RM peers into your face. You look up at him with a blank gaze, as though something inside you had been fractured.

His eyes are expectant, waiting for a sign that you won't break down. Smiling weakly, you nod to him, and he grins back before taking you by the arm and guiding you out of the office.

"I want you to know," BangPD calls after you just as Namjoon's hand rests on the doorknob. You turn back to him, confused. He looks up at you from his chair, his hand massaging his temple as he regards you with those small cold calculating eyes. "I believe you have a gift."

You swallow at the words, somehow feeling small and insignificant. At your demeanor, Sihyuk narrows his eyes before sighing and turning away, dismissing you with a final farewell.

"It would be a shame to waste it."

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: what do you think she should do?

chapter 28 here

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