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bookishdream · 11 months

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Underwater

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader Description: Kaz and reader are in an established realtionship and when they think they succeeded in the Heist, something goes wrong. Genre: Angst/Fluff Word count: 1,8k

To Kaz, loving her was like drowning. His head would spin, his palms would sweat under his leather gloves, he would be confused. But it also felt like a first mouthful of air after he broke the surface. His heart would skip a beat and he would let out a first, shaky gasp of relief that he finally was able to get out from under the water. She didn’t make it easy to love her, her own traumas, her own nightmares and demons that couldn’t let her rest, her own vengefulness and personal vendetta against the world. But Kaz couldn’t and didn’t resist when he realized what all of those weaknesses meant. He was taken aback when he realized that he had a heart to give her. And she was happy to nurture and keep it safe.

When the Crows got the job to do they knew they might not come out alive from this. All seven of them were aware of the fact that death might be lurking behind the corner. So when Inej got injured y/n felt death on her shoulder, creeping closer and closer, making itself known in her every thought.

“Saints, Inej,” y/n exclaimed when she noticed that the Suli girl finally opened her dark eyes. Her brown face looked worn out and the remains of her blood could still be seen on her pants. Y/n delicately helped her friend up and propped her tensed body up the wall. The ship was swaying, the light bulbs weren’t giving much light, but she could see how Inej was grimacing when she moved her limbs. “You scared us all.”

“I scared myself,” Suli replied, touching her thigh. She hissed when her finger made contact with a scratch. Nina was a decent healer but even her powers were limited. “Are we safe?”

“As safe as we can be with this lunatic,” y/n smirked, leaning against the wall beside her friend. She tried to make a light out of the situation, but it was hard when she had been helping Nina bring colors to Inej’s face. She didn’t think she had taken a full breath in since Inej got attacked. “Somehow he figured we would be ambushed.”

“One would think he’d done it himself just to prove his point,”

“It’s Kaz, I think he himself doesn’t entirely know what is in his own head,”

“I reckon you would know best, y/n,” Inej smirked in her direction, her eyes glowing when she noticed how y/n’s cheeks grew redder. The girl rolled her eyes and got up.

“I will go fetch Nina, she’ll be thrilled you’re awake,” y/n smiled at Inej, taking her in once more to make sure she could be left alone.

“Coward,” Suli sing-songed.

“Stay still and do not go anywhere, you unbearable creature,”

“You and I will have this talk one day, I hope you know,”

“Dear Ghezen, have mercy,” after this she left and went to look for the Heartrender. She found Nina walking around the dock, Jesper keeping her company. They looked anxious and Nina’s palms were slightly shaking.

“Y/n!” Jesper exclaimed, “Is Inej okay?”

“She woke up, actually,” the girl said, sitting on one of the wooden steps. “I think you should take a look at her wound, it opened up a bit.”

“Yes! Yes, of course,” Nina shot to her feet, running to the room where Inej was sitting.

“Is Kaz okay?” y/n asked the Zemeni boy, his eyes were locked on the newest addition to the Crows. Wylan, on the other hand, was fidgeting. The boy couldn’t sit still and he was looking guilty, as if he had betrayed himself. Y/n wasn’t surprised regarding his upbringing. She hoped he would get used to it, being disappointed with himself that is.

“Go and ask him yourself, he nearly threw me overboard when I asked if he wanted to change his shirt, I’m not risking anything,”

Y/n nodded and made her way to the bow, where the Dirtyhands was standing. He looked lost in his mind, his hand clenched on the railing. His hair was disheveled and the wind didn’t seem to be helping with that. Not like he paid any mind to it, anyway.

“How are you holding on? I heard you were the one that carried Inej onto the ship,” she started, trying to come as close to him as she could, but still give him his space. “She’s alive thanks to you, Kaz.”

“I know,” he remarked. Y/n breathed a laugh, of course, she didn’t expect no other answer. “But I can still feel the wetness of her blood,” he started, his breath heavy and voice no louder than the sound of the wind. “I really tried not to drop her.”

“But you didn’t, Kaz, she’s alive and what’s most important she’s okay,” she smiled at him, she put her own palm on the railing, so that he could feel her closeness, but not close enough to overwhelm him.

After this night everything was left to the fortune. Inej prayed to her Saints everynight, Jesper worshiped his revolvers, Matthias was brooding and making faces whenever one of them so much as mentioned their destination, which was often enough that y/n was afraid that his face would stay in that way, Nina sang some old, Ravkan songs, Wylan and Kaz were going through the maps all over again and y/n couldn’t shake off the feeling of certain energy creeping from behind the corner.

So when they somehow succeeded in their plan, after many, many close encounters with death, she was relieved to feel every bone, every muscle, every hair on her body. She was sore from head to toes and for the majority of the journey to Ketterdam she was sleeping. She felt like she was on fire.

However, when they eventually docked to the Fifth Harbor and were ready to receive their payment everything went to shit.

“The deal is the deal, Van Eck,” Kaz said, the first signs of the storm were in the air. Y/n shivered looking around her friends’ faces. Everyone seemed confused, including her, and tired.

“Not much of a deal if no one besides us knows about it,” the merchant’s voice was filled with pride, his face full of arrogance. “I didn’t know you were so naive, Mister Brekker. Fortunately, none of you leaves the island alive, so no one will hold me accountable.”

“You’re wrong,” Jesper countered, his hands ready to take out his guns.

“Am I?” Two things happened at the same time, the ship behind them, the same one that they’d arrived on, blew up and Van Eck’s people started shooting. The force of the explosion was so big that y/n couldn’t keep her balance. She fell on her palms and knees feeling the hard concrete underneath her. She looked around her making sure that everyone was okay. Her eyes stopped at the silhouette of Kaz and Van Eck. She tried to warn Kaz, but to no avail. Y/n felt a pair of arms lifting her up, Jesper’s scent hit her nostrils. She got up as quickly as she could with his help and she found a box to hide behind.

“Jesper, cover me,” she whispered, the Zemeni looked at her, perplexed.

“Always,”

Whatever she wanted to do, it was stupid. Probably the most stupid thing she had ever done. She left her shelter and tried to get closer to the place where Kaz was still having a conversation with the merchant. She carefully went along the dock’s line so as not to fall into the canal. She kept the pistol hidden to prevent the guards from shooting. She creeped closer and closer and she could hear their words as clear as the storm over her head was allowing, still minding how close to the canal she was.

“You have too many weaknesses, Brekker. She for instance is one of them,” Van Eck motioned to his man. “Take care of her.”

Then the hell broke loose. Y/n didn’t know where she was supposed to look, everything happened so abruptly. Both her and the guard lifted their guns, aiming. Y/n fired but even with Jesper’s help, her shot wasn’t good or quick. She felt the knifr hitting her and hot, white, flashing pain radiated in her shoulder. Tears shot to her eyes but she didn’t let herself scream. She swayed on her legs, then a second knife hit her. She fell and kept falling. She hit the water.

She realized that the feeling of death she had experienced was inevitable. She was meant to die on this trip and once she had managed to escape its arms, but this time it looked her straight into the eyes. She tried to swim back to the surface, however her arms felt as if they were made from the lead. On top of that she was losing too much blood, too quickly. She prayed even though she wasn’t religious. Eventually, after what felt like hours, she closed her eyes, expecting death soon.

Unexpectedly, she felt two arms pulling her out of her slumber, she opened her eyes noticing Kaz. Kaz, who almost drowned himself. Kaz, who dove right after her. Y/n let herself smile at the thought that he cared so much for a person who might die in a few minutes. They hit the surface, taking big gulps of air. Kaz screamed at Jesper to help him, but y/n understood only every other word. Jesper and Matthias helped Kaz to put y/n on the dock and then helped him get out of the water. Kaz took off his gloves and his heavy coat. He put the latter over his girl’s body and he let her lean against his own body.

“Nina,” he barked, “I need you to take out those blades.”

“She lost too much blood, Kaz,”

“She will heal herself, pull them out,” he hissed, trying to bring y/n around. She was pale, but her lips still had their pinkish color. “Don’t die on me, y/n.”

“Matthias, give me a cloth, until she’s conscious she won’t be able to do anything with her power,” Nina ordered, kneeling beside y/n. “We need to stop the bleeding.”

When the Grisha pulled out the first knife, the wounded girl hissed through her teeth. “Do not move,” Kaz said, his voice calm, but everyone could hear a hint of relief. “You’ve lost so much blood.”

“You jumped after me,” she whispered, her words only loud enough for him to hear. “Kaz–,”

“Shh, love,” his eyes softened, but he didn’t dare to touch her. “I couldn’t have lost you the same way I’ve lost him.”

Y/n gasped, touching his palm.

“I didn’t know Kaz had feelings,” Nina commented, getting up. “We need to patch y/n up and then we can take our revenge, so you’d better heal fast.”

#crooked kingdom #six of crows #six of crows one shot #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone #grishasworld #grishaverse #jesper fahey #kaz brekker one shot #nina zenik #soc inej #soc jesper #soc fanfic #kaz soc

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hobiebrownismygod · 5 months

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Such a Lovely Face Hobie Brown/Spider-Punk x Fem!Reader

~1.5k words

Synopsis: After a bad day, you find yourself sitting on a rooftop to calm down, and end up encountering Hobie Brown. The two of you have a nice conversation.

TW: Mention of police brutality, explosions, slight implication of the reader having depression/being depressed

A/N: I tried something new with the lyrics being a part of the story, so if it doesn't really work I'm sorry 😭. I'm really trying to accustom myself to new writing styles cuz I'm still fairly new to fanfictions, so lmk if it doesn't make sense or could be better!

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On a dark desert highway Cool wind in my hair

You were sitting atop one of the many rooftops in Camden, London, quietly humming one of your favorite songs to yourself as you looked out into the distance. The cool breeze was refreshing compared to the stuffy atmosphere of your tiny apartment downstairs, and you decided you'd stay up here on the rooftop for as long as you could, until of course you were caught by the police for breaking the curfew. It had happened before.

My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim I had to stop for the night

You hugged your knees to your chest and rested your chin atop them, breathing in the night air softly, the moonlight shining onto your face as you looked up at the stars. But you could barely see them, the entire sky covered in a thick layer of fog, gases emitted from the thousands of horrific factories littering the streets of London, courtesy of the one and only President Osborne, a hopeless tyrant with nothing better to do than pollute.

There she stood in the doorway I heard the mission bell

"What're you lookin' at lassie?"

You swiveled your head around, heart beating out of your chest as you stumbled back, nearly falling off the rooftop, searching for where that voice had come from. "Hey, don't worry. I'm not a cop" A man appeared from the shadows with a wink, wearing a bright red and blue costume, completed with a leather jacket and skinny jeans on top. The one and only Spider-punk.

"Whatcha doin' up 'ere all my y'self at this time of nigh'?" He asked, plopping down next to you, mask lit up by the light coming from the night sky. "O-oh just hanging out" you stammered, a bit taken aback by his cool, playful nature. You weren't expecting to meet the vigilante at this time, and you definitely weren't expecting him to take a seat next to you.

And I was thinking to myself This could be heaven or this could be hell

"I heard you singing somethin'." He leaned in toward you slightly, head tilted sideways as he looked down at you. "What song was 't?" You fidgeted with your fingers, sitting in a criss-cross position and keeping your gaze on the distance in front of the two of you. "Hotel California" you said quietly, a smile appearing on your face as the lyrics crossed your mind. "Its a nice song". He nodded, looking out at the distance like you were. "Tha' it is."

Then she lit up a candle And she showed me the way

"You didn't answer m'question though" He said, looking back at you. "What're you doing up at this time of night all by y'self?"

"I was just thinking."

"Thinking 'bout what?"

"Everything."

There were voices down the corridor I thought I heard them say

He blinked. "You gonna keep acting like a priss or are ya gonna tell me?" You shot him a scowl. "There's just a lot going on in my life right now, okay? Besides, I'm sure you don't want to hear about it. There's probably plenty people out there that you need to save" you said somberly, biting the inside of your cheek as you looked away again.

"Look 'ere peng," He said, snapping his fingers at you. "I'm London's friendly neighborhood Spider-man. I'm not just here to save people. Whatever you 'ave to say, I'm here to listen too."

Welcome to the Hotel California

"Really? So I can ask you anything?"

"Anything."

A moment of silence followed, a moment you took to think about what your question should be. And then it hit you.

"Why do you do what you do?"

He looked a bit taken aback by this question, the white eyes of his mask widening slightly. "Jumping right into it, are we?" He asked with a soft chuckle, looking down over the rooftop. His fingers fidgeted, picking at a rip in his jeans as he thought up what his answer would be. He hadn't been expecting you to ask a question that would require such a complicated answer.

"You did say I could ask you anything..." Your voice was slightly cocky, enjoying how tongue-tied he seemed trying to give a response. The question may have seemed innocent, but you were genuinely curious.

Your life wasn't terrible. You came from a fairly well-off family, you attended a good college, you lived in a clean neighborhood in a nice apartment. But you were so sad all the time. There was no reason for it, it was just as if you didn't understand the point of anything you did. Like nothing mattered. Like you didn't matter.

How was this man supporting the weight of the world on his shoulders without voicing a single complaint? How could a person be so strong? Why was he so strong?

"I do this-this Spider-man gig-" He gestured as his suit, "-because if I don't, nobody else will."

He looked back over at you and noticed your head slightly tilted as if you were waiting for a longer response. "Thats it. Tha's my reason."

"Oh?"

He stammered for a moment, gears in his head turning as he tried to explain what he was trying to say. "Look, I'm the only Spider-man in this city, right? If I'm gone, what'll happen to the people I'm s'posed to protect?" He pointed out towards the distant lights of the inner city, "The people in the slums, the punks and protestors of London, I'm their voice." He sighed softly, looking up at the stars, the light making the eyes of his mask shine brightly, an almost ethereal glow emanating. "I have to do this. I have to fight for these people. I'm their only hope."

Such a lovely place Such a lovely face

"I see." You said quietly, a slight smile spreading across your face. He wasn't as perfect as he seemed. The poor guy seemed pretty stressed from the look of it. All that pressure..., "I was expecting you to say it was for the freedom. Or the fame." You added in a slightly teasing tone, nudging his shoulder gently to snap him out of his somber trance.

He jumped slightly at the touch before a grin returned to his face. "What fame? Half the city hates me and the other half think I'm a saint." He shook his head. "I'm neither."

"You're not a saint?"

"I'm not a hero."

You were a bit taken aback by this declaration. "What are you talking about? If anyone's a hero it's you." you said, raising an eyebrow at him. He chuckled softly, looking at you, the white of his mask boring into you. "Guess you're part of the second half then."

You rolled your eyes at him. "Mate, you're the sole reason London's not up in flames at this moment. That seems pretty heroic to me."

"I've been the reason for a lot of other things going up in flames, though" he countered teasingly, leaning in towards you slightly, that playful tone returning to his voice.

"Yeah but that's all Osborne's crap. Nobody's complaining about it."

Plenty of room at the Hotel California

"Hah. Damn right."

Another moment of silence followed, the quiet tension almost deafening. "Not as perfect as you seem, hmm pretty boy?"

"You think I'm pretty?" He gave you a sly wink. "You haven't even seen my face. But you're probably right about the perfect part." You smacked his arm playfully, laughing as you did so.

You hadn't expected your spirits to have been lifted so easily, but he just had that effect. A can-do attitude and a cocky tone could do wonders for a bad day. "So? Did your friendly neighborhood Spider-man save yet another boring night?" He asked smugly, tilting his head and putting his hands behind him to support him as he leaned back. "Honestly? Yeah. Thanks." You said, offering him as fist bump. He took it, gently bumping his suited fist against yours and making a pop noise with his mouth as he pulled it away.

Suddenly, you heard an explosion from the distance, probably the result of yet another instance of police brutality, Osborne's pigs being well-known for their trigger-happy fingers and exclusively deadly weaponry. There wasn't a day gone by where something didn't get blown up or a group of people wasn't killed. But that was just life in London. "I suppose that's my cue to leave" Spider-punk said, hopping up and stretching out his arms, cracking his neck to the side. "It was nice meeting you, Ms...?"

"Y/N"

"Y/N." he repeated, letting the name roll off his tongue. "Lovely name for a lovely face."

You shook your head at him. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" You asked, suppressing a laugh. "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you around, darling." And he was off.

Anytime of year You can find it here

"See you." you whispered as you watched him swing away, his guitar slung over his shoulder, just barely holding on. You smiled to yourself before you got up, ready to go back inside. You were feeling much better now.

You knew that next time you were feeling down, you'd be sure to call him over. After all, what's the point of having a friendly neighborhood Spider-man if you can't make use of him?

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Taglist: @s6onder @therealloopylupin2099 @spiderrinn @l0starl @daydreaming-en-pointe

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moonpedri · 1 year

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does he know.

summary: you love gavi and you're happy in your relationship with him. but for some reason you're the moth and pedri, his best friend, is the flame that pulls you in.

pairing: pedri x reader

genre: angst, smut and a sprinkle of fluff

warnings: cheating (we do not support!), phone s*x, masturbating, mentions of genitals lmao, cursing

word count: 3.3k

a/n: this idea came to me months ago when i heard the song 'moth to a flame' by the weeknd while working lmao. and when you work in retail, you have a lot of time to think :D. i do not condone cheating in any way, i think it's vile and disgusting, but 🫣😵‍💫 i couldn't help myself with this one. enjoy!!<3

────────────

"Hey, everything alright, sugar?"

You hiccup, "N-no. Can you come over?"

"Be there in 10." He hangs up immediately, giving you no time to even thank him. You take a look at your phone again. Your vision is blurry with tears in your eyes.

The call lasted a record time of 7 seconds. That's how long it took for you to convince him to come over. The occasion was usually a different one, but you needed his comfort more than anything right now.

You look at the contact picture, Pedri was smiling at the camera. No, he was smiling at you. The thought alone puts a smile on your face as well, but the events only hours ago catch up to you and you almost break out into tears again.

You and Pablo fought, and you normally never do. Dating Pablo Gavi was no easy task, but you loved the challenge. You loved how easy it was with him sometimes and how difficult it could get too. That's what made a relationship a relationship.

He treats you right and you feel incredibly loved by him. Maybe that's why it irked you the wrong way when one of his female friends got a little too close to him today, when your mutual friend group went mini-golfing. It only got worse when he reciprocated her actions.

"It's actually super easy, just hold the handle this way.", he explained to her, all the while you stood behind them, seeing red. She was shamelessly oggling at his biceps in front of you. In a fit of jealousy, you decided to just ignore him the entire rest of the day. Looking back at it, you may have spoiled the mood for everyone but you didn't care. You could have made a scene as well and ruined the fun straight upc but you decided to do it silently instead. Which again, was absolutely stupid, because just telling Pablo would have done the job.

He's a sweetheart, you know he never meant it that way. He never looses his temper with you either, he just calmly listens to you and talks to you; both of you finding a compromise to the problem - that's just how things between you two worked.

And that makes everything so much worse, because today he did lose his temper with you. He screamed at you, and you screamed back. Mean things where exchanged inside the car. You really don't want to know what a sight you two made.

It ended with him pulling over, after you yelled at him to stop the car. You slammed the door shut and stormed off, expecting him to follow you. He never did. Instead he raced off, leaving you in the dust.

In retrospect, you did it to yourself. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt though.

The way home took you a little more than 30 minutes and once you were inside, the tears began flooding down your face.

You hated feeling like this and you hated the fact that it was your own fault even more. You tried calling Gavi multiple times, but he didn't answer. And after an hour, you decided to stop, it was hopeless anyways. You would have to spend this awful night alone tonight, you thought.

And if God wasn't on your side that evening, the Devil definitely was. It was as if he was right by your sight, whispering sinful words into your ear. And foolishly, you listened to him.

You decided to call Pedri.

It sounds wrong, and maybe it is, but it certainly never felt that way with him. Risqué, you would describe the relationship you two have. At least that's what you always told Pedri; you liked the way the word sounded. A little french, no?

He's your boyfriend's best friend. They're teammates and Pablo told you multiple times that he even considers him a brother.

A brother you secretly slept with.

In your defense, you met him and slept with him before you and Pablo were even talking to each other. It was useless though, because you continued.

You didn't mean for it to happen, but like bananas turn to the sun and moths to a flame, you turned to Pedri.

If you're the moth, then Pedri is the flame that pulls you in and burns you. But he never lets it come so far, because he always pulls back before you can burst into flames.

This thing between you and Pedri started about a year ago, months before you even knew Pablo.

You met coincidentally one day at a match of his. Your little brother was a huge FC Barcelona fan and you gifted him front-row tickets for his 12th birthday.

They won that day and some of the players decided to sign autographs and take pictures with their loyal Culers.

Pedri was one of them.

Your brother squealed when the 19 year old football player was near you. He signed his jersey with a chuckle. "You're my idol, Pedri! Thank you so much.", your brother said politely, the excitement in his voice very evident.

"Thank you, big man. Your support helped a lot today.", Pedri said gratefully.

He looked at you then and you had admit that in person he looked even better. His big brown eyes worked like hypnosis on you and the sun did nothing to hide his beautiful tan either.

It seemed like he wanted to sign your shirt as well. You wanted to decline, you didn't need his sign but your brother beat you to it.

"My sister thinks you're handsome."

To this very day you don't know if you should thank him for introducing Pedri into your life or be angry at him for humiliating you like that in front of him.

Pedri's eyes widened. He turned to your brother mischievously, "Oh, is that so? Is she a fan as well or...does she just like my face?"

"Yes, but not as big as me of course. She and her friend talked about you on the phone sometimes. It's sooo annoying." Your brother complains nonchalantly, like Pedri was his best-bud and they just catch up with each other.

You grab your around your little brother's head and pull it close to your side, hushing him, "Anyways, good game.", you tell Pedri with a wide smile. You make a move to just leave, when Pedri holds up his pen.

"Let me sign your shirt."

You press your lips together but give in eventually, hoping that he'll just quickly move on to his other fans. He bids you goodbye with a wink and a ruffle to your brothers head.

It's only later at home that you realized that he left his phone number on your shirt. You still have it stowed away in the safety of your closet. And it will probably stay there forever.

You texted Pedri the next day. After all you couldn't come off as too easy, right?

Talking with him came easy. Conversations flowed like water and the topics just never stopped. It felt good to be with him, you felt like yourself. He listened to your every word and he made you feel special.

The two of you dated around for 5 months. You would lie if you said that these months weren't one of the most beautiful times of your life so far, but also the most hurtful ones.

Pedri travelled a lot with you, spoiled you rotten to no end and the sex(!!!). You genuinely liked his presence.

You wore your heart on your sleeve, you practically gave it to him. You two acted like a couple, like you were utterly and completely in love.

Maybe you were. Maybe it was just your imagination, because a guy showed so much interest in you for the first time.

But you two were never officially together.

Pedri never asked you to be his girlfriend. He always brought you everywhere, yet he never introduced you as his special someone.

You still wonder if Pedri never felt anything for you. Why he hesitated so much. It broke your heart, when you told him one day that you had enough. Of course he immediately understood what you meant. And the little hope you had of him finally making the last step, diffused when he said nothing more. He didn't fight for you, he let you go.

It hurt you, but for some reason it didn't break you like you initially thought it would. In fact, you and Pedri still stayed in contact. You befriended some of his friends in the time you two dated, it would've been awkward. And like you mentioned, being with Pedri was easy.

If you two could be lovers, then you definitely can be friends as well.

Things between you ended in September. In November you met Gavi.

It came a bit to a surprise to you, the wound didn't completely heal yet and Gavi was a year younger than you; you didn't go for younger guys. But Pablo was gentle, he put a band-aid over it and in January the two of you started dating.

That's also when things between you and Pedri started to become...different. In the time between the break-up and the start of your new relationship, he treated you like a good friend would. Pedri made you feel at ease and less hurt over the whole ordeal. He never hinted at anything more. The moment your relationship became public though, he started acting odd.

Suddenly he was everywhere. He stood and sat next to you whenever your little group of friends met. When you were at the beach, his eyes practically undressed you behind his shades. When you watched their training sessions, he lingered by your side too long.

No one noticed because you and Pedri always got along. You were friends. Only some knew that there may have been more, but no one knew for sure - especially not Gavi.

The real culprit however was you. Because all the while, you never said anything. You never rejected Pedri, you did nothing to push him away. It was just not in you to do that. Like it was coded in your DNA.

The cheating however started with a call one night. In a state of boredom you decided to browse through your gallery and organize it, when you stumbled across old pictures of you and Pedri.

In one you were cuddling, in the next one you were kissing. The pictures got gradually more indecent and you couldn't help but think back to when you took them. You laid on your back, naked cleavage only slightly visible. Sweat collected itself on your hairline. Next to you was Pedri, sucking on your neck, only the back of of his head visible.

You swiped right. Another intimate picture, but this time it was a mirror selfie. Not much was visible thanks to the curtains that dimmed the room, but you sat on top of him. Your nipples perked up. Pedri's hands grabbed onto your hips harshly, his head was tilted back.

You remember taking this picture very well. Pedri always said he didn't like taking them, he complained when you took this very one. In hindsight you believe he did. He posed so well on camera, you know he must have enjoyed it secretly.

You also remember how good he felt inside of you. He always managed to find the right spot to make you squeal and squirm around, stretching your cervix in all the right ways.

Heat began building up in your lower area and you couldn't help but lower your hands under your pants. The moment you cupped your vulva, goosebumps spread all over your body. It's been a long time since you touched yourself.

Being horny alters something in your brain. All at once, you can't think rationally. Essentially, you just think with your fucking dick. It just overcomes you - like a switch.

Rationally thinking you should have called your boyfriend. One look at the picture on your phone told you that that wasn't what you wanted.

A few taps later and the phone rings.

"__. It's one in the morning, is everything okay?", he answers the phone. The sleepiness in his voice was evident.

"Yeah, I just-.", a sigh escapes your mouth. Your ring finger touched around the entrance of your vagina and you can't even formulate a proper sentence. Nothing that you did right now was morally right, it was absolutely impromper. You didn't know how you were going to explain your late night call to Pedri either.

But he knew you so well. He recognized the tone in your voice immediately.

"__", his voice was hoarse. It did nothing to ease your pleasure, no, it only worsened it. "I think you got the wrong number."

"No, I don't.", you retorted.

He sounded troubled, "You should call Pablo. You shouldn't hav-"

"No, I wanted you.", you say as you add another finger to circle around your vagina. You're so wet already and so sensitive. A moment of silence passes and you press your thighs together. You didn't have the time to argue around.

Something needed to be done.

"I just found an old picture of us in my phone. You know, the ones in bed you didn't like. And I just remembered,", you closed your eyes, "I just, Pedro please do something."

You heard him shuffle on the other end.

"Fuck, what are you doing right now?"

And so he joins your little spiel.

You opened your legs and started rubbing your clitoris, "Touching myself."

"Where?"

Pedri's voice, now a lot more demanding, was still raspy from sleep and you began rubbing a bit faster. "My clit. Wish it was you", you croaked out. You started getting louder.

Pedri curses, "M'getting hard. Fuck."

You imagined what he must look like right now, lying in his bed, pants pulled down and stroking his dick desperately. You whimpered at the thought.

You loved his dick.

Honestly penises never really appealed to you objectively; they're ugly. They definitely felt better than they looked and if someone asked, you wouldn't say they were a man's nicest body part. You still liked them though.

Pedri, however, had one of the prettiest ones you have ever seen (not that you saw many). Everything from his girth to his tip to his color was so perfect. You loved sitting between his legs, crawling at his muscular thighs, while his dick was in your mouth.

A moan escaped your mouth, "Your cock always felt so good. So pretty."

You wondered if Pedri imagined you naked as well. If his thoughts were as filthy as yours were. Surely, they must have been. "Fuck, baby, I thought about your pussy so much."

"Yeah?"

"Hmm, always so good for me. No one compares."

You could here the slick sound of him pumping his dick through the phone, it was lewd. So dirty and so wrong, but you never felt better.

Rubbing your clit was not enough anymore, you needed your fingers inside of you. The sound filled your entire bedroom and you held the phone closer between your legs. "Pedro.", you moan his name. You wanted him know how he made you feel, how your body reacted just at the thought of him.

"You sound so wet, princess, just for me?"

"Yes, only you." You started kneading your boob too, imagining it to be his hand instead. "Ahh.", you cry as you hit that special spot. Pedri always managed to find it. May it be with his dick, his fingers or, your favorite, his tongue - hot and wet. He made you feel things you didn't think a human could feel.

The call didn't go on for long. You taunted and teased each other for only a little longer. Words became more slurred until the only thing left was the lewd sounds of you two moaning and whimpering into each other's ears.

You were close. Your fingers were still rapidly pushing back and forth, until everything came to a halt. You couldn’t breathe.

Your back archs backwards and your fingers were clutching at the sheets, as heat overcame your body and your orgasm washed over you. You're vaguely aware of Pedri grunting into the phone as well - too lost in your own pleasure.

And then it slowly fades away.

Suddenly you're hyper-aware of everything, as your consciousness trickled back. Your chest heaves up and down heavily.

You stared at the ceiling, guilt starting to consume you all of a sudden. You felt horrible, to say the least.

Pedri must have felt the same way, you believed. Heavy breathing was the only thing you heard on his end, when you spoke up, "Don't get me wrong. This was...amazing.", you started, searching for words. "But Pablo can't know. This shouldn't have happened, I'm sorry, I don't know what overcame me."

It took Pedri a moment to answer your word-vomit. "It's fine,__. There are always two involved, right? Let's just forget about it." The guilt in his voice was evident too, Gavi was his best friend after all.

You thought that settled it. A one-time mistake.

One time turned to two times and two times turned to multiple more calls at night, sometimes while Pablo slept next to you.

You kept the pictures of you two, and your boyfriend's bed was not the only bed you have spent your night at anymore. And he wasn't the only one spending his nights in yours either.

Just like right now.

The ringing of the doorbell rips you out of your thoughts. Pedri actually manages to be at your door in 8 minutes.

He engulfes you in a hug the moment he sees your tear-struck face. "Talk to me, what happened?", he mumbles against your hair.

You sit on your bed when you tell him of your fight with Pablo. Your stupidity that ruined everything. Pedri sits and listens intently to your worries. Occasionally he caresses your hand or hair.

"I didn't think he would get so angry with me.", you sob.

Pedri smiles at you with warm eyes. In a moment of weakness you think about what would have happened if you stayed with Pedri. Would Pedri have acted the same way?

"W-Would you have done the same?"

The question lingers in the air for a moment. You can't blame yourself for asking. Not right now, when you feel so powerless. And you can't blame Pedri for his silence either. After all, the lines are blurred already, he has to be careful with his words.

"I don't know. Probably not.", he says.

Pedri knows you good enough by now. The look in your eyes tells him everything he needs to. You were like an open book to him.

You insinuated at more, at something possible in the future. One word and you'll be his. But he shuts you down. "He's good for you.", he says then. "I see the way he makes you feel, he truly loves you,__. You deserve that. Don't worry."

He tells to you stay with Gavi; he looks you dead in the eye, while saying it. It annoys you a bit that after all this time, he still behaves the same. But he is aware of that. Because when you need him, he's always just one call away. That's all he is and may ever be.

And Pedri knows, that you are loyal to him. Your heart lies with him; in his arms.

He looks at your vulnerable state, at your glossy eyes watching him. Oh yes, your heart truly lies with him.

Like a moth to a flame, he pulls you in. And like a flame, he's fickle but destructive. And once the moth gets too close to him, it burst into flames.

────────────

#pedri x reader #pedri fanfic #pedri imagine #pedri smut #football x reader #football imagine #football fanfic #pedri one shot #pedri fluff

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alittlebitofsainz · 10 days

Text

you’re just a boy (and i’m kinda the man)

prompt: “i’m on a one-way trip to take over the world, and i thought you did, but you don’t understand.”

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

summary: daniel leaves mclaren, and you decide to put your career first, at the cost of the person you love.

a/n: genuinely made myself sad with this one, sorry :( song is by maisie peters!

masterlist | the spotify wrapped collection

“I just don’t understand how you can stay with them after everything they’ve put you through.”

you ran a hand through your hair, exasperated.

“that’s just it, danny, you don’t understand.” you sighed, slumping forward on the desk, your elbow resting on the surface and your head resting in your hand. the other hand was gripping the phone held to your ear. “this is my career, it’s my entire life. I might not get another opportunity.”

“you know it’s the same for me, right?” daniel’s voice crackled through the phone after a few moments of silence, his volume quieter now. “this is the end of my career, probably. but it’s gotta be better than staying with mclaren.”

you shook your head, even though he couldn’t see.

“but you’re you, danny. you’ll get another chance, I’m sure. you’re one of the biggest faces in this sport.” you sighed again, “but I’m just me. no one is gonna offer me a second chance.” you tried to explain, raising your head slightly to glance at the rain softly hitting the window.

you heard him mutter something inaudible on the other end of the line, the words obscured by the static of the airwaves. you knew he hated when you did that, talked down about yourself. you’d lost count of the number of times the two of you had sat shoulder to shoulder in your drivers room, trying to boost each others spirits after a bad race. daniel was your teammate, your closest friend, your partner in crime, the love of your life. he’d always been able to see things from your point of view. why couldn’t he understand this decision? a conversation from a few months ago drifted through your mind. whatever we do, we do it together. you’d been the one to say that, and now look at you; reluctant to follow daniel into the unknown because you were scared. scared of the uncertainty. scared of losing your one shot at this career. you’d meant what you’d said at the time, but… no. you couldn’t do it. daniel was nearly the best thing that had ever happened to you, second only to earning a seat in formula one. that had to come first. you had to put yourself first. but it didn’t seem to make this phone call any easier. god, you wished you weren’t hundreds of miles away.

“just think, me, you, the outback. we’ll have all the time for dirt bikes and beach trips that you could possibly want.” daniel’s voice brought you back to the present. you could hear the crack in his voice as he tried to persuade you, the one that told you he already knew this was a losing battle. he was losing you. you tilted your head back, looking up at the ceiling; for the first time you were actually glad that this was all happening over a phone call, that daniel couldn’t see the tears forming on your lower lash line.

“I can’t, danny. you know I can’t.” even if daniel couldn’t see you crying, you were being optimistic if you hoped he couldn’t hear it in your voice.

“I know.” he sighed, the noise soft, quiet. there was silence on the line for just a moment, and you felt inclined to fill it, terrified that the conversation was already drawing to a close. you didn’t want daniel to hang up. you didn’t want to believe that this could all be over just like that.

“I’m really sorry, dan.” you apologised, saying anything to try and keep the momentum of the conversation.

“you don’t need to apologise. it’s not your fault.” came his predictable reply, but his tone was missing the kindness, the affection, you’d come to expect from a phone call with daniel. his voice was flat, monotone, and you found yourself unable to read how he was feeling. it had been a long time since that had happened; you and daniel always used to be on the same wavelength. it felt alien, like you were out of your depth. was he angry? upset? did he just not care anymore?

“we can still make this work, can’t we?”

you’d been avoiding the question, but now there was nothing left to say but that. the pause on the other end of the line didn’t fill you with confidence.

“I want to, god, you don’t even understand how much I want to.” came daniel’s reply, voice no longer monotone, instead betraying the emotions he was feeling. you winced as you could almost hear the ‘but’ on the end of his sentence.

“we can try, right? like, I can come visit you over christmas, then next year you’ll probably be at some of the race weekends anyway, and then I can try and get away from training during summer break…”

the more you spoke, the more you realised how hopeless this was. how could you expect to put enough effort into this relationship when you only had a few weekends spare per year? how could you expect daniel to come and watch and cheer for you at each race weekend, knowing that you were living his dream and he was stuck on the sidelines? your voice faltered as it trailed off, the realisation hitting you. fuck. this was it.

“please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be, y/n.”

you’d never heard daniel’s voice so quiet, with so little power behind it. you didn’t know whether you were even pleased that he was as devastated as you were about all this: how could this be the right decision when neither one of you wanted it? such was the reality of this sport. you swallowed thickly - daniel was right, there was no point in drawing this out, making it difficult. you wouldn’t be reduced to begging; at least you could walk away from this with your pride, if nothing else. you wiped a tear from your cheek with the heel of your free hand, the other gripping the phone so tightly that your knuckles turned white, holding onto it like a lifeline.

“no, you’re right. I’m sorry.” you mumbled in reply, once again glancing up at the ceiling to try and stem the flow of tears. you tried not to picture daniel doing the same thing on the end of the phone; it would only make you cry again.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll catch you at races and stuff, next year.” the finality in daniel’s voice made you draw in a shaky breath, steeling yourself for the aftermath. at least you and daniel had never gone public, you were grateful for that much. still, you’d been best friends in the eyes of the public, practically joined at the hip. people would notice when you no longer spent any time together. you tried to park that thought as your mind started to race; there would be time to deal with all of that later.

“yeah. I’ll see you around.” you couldn’t believe this was the way it would end. I’ll see you around. as if you hadn’t spent the last year and a half in each others pockets. as if every kiss and every I love you meant nothing now. as if you hadn’t spent long nights planning out your future together. none of it mattered now, you realised, tears threatening to fall once again.

“I loved you, y/n. never forget that.”

it felt like your throat closed up at that, unable to dignify daniel’s words with a suitable response. there was so much more you wanted to tell him, wanted to say, but you couldn’t even manage to say it back. you bit your lip, letting silence fill the call for one last time, before pulling your phone away from your ear and hitting the button to hang up.

a tear hit the screen of your phone right next to the daniel’s contact name, before the call ended, and his name disappeared.

#daniel ricciardo #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel ricciardo x y/n #daniel ricciardo x you #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 fic #f1 imagine

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cheollipop · 8 months

Note

Yay sleepover!! I recently got surgery so I have a semi nasty cut on my stomach at the moment and I was wondering if you could write a cute fluffy drabble on mingi or San helping replace the bandages but like the reader is a bit insecure about their stomach and is also not good with medical stuff so he just kisses their tummy as he helps them heal or something? Idk I just love your writing and just tired and in need of fluff haha

2𝙠 𝙎𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩

hello anonnie!! aah make sure you rest well and take care of yourself, I wish you a quick recovery!! ^^ this was honestly such a cute prompt ;; I hope it provides you with some comfort my darling <3

pairing: song mingi x gn!reader

w.c.: 0.5k

tags: fluff, established relationship, reader has a surgical wound/cut on her stomach, just mingi being the sweetest;;

happy reading~

“Min, I can do it myself,” you complained, toying with the hem of your shirt.

“And have your nurse yell at me again for not helping?” Mingi chuckled breathily, reassuring you with a look before gently replacing your hands with his own. He began pulling the material up to rest under your chest, running a gentle thumb over the peeling edges of the adhesive pad near your bellybutton.

“Ming-”

“Baby, relax,” he placed his palm down on your shoulder when you attempted to sit up, laying you back down on the mattress. “Let me do this for you.”

His eyes—wide and glimmering with adoration—fixed on your face, fingers tracing calming patterns over your skin while he asked for your permission to continue. A whispered “okay” brought a toothy smile to his plump lips, similar to a child given candy, before he ran off to wash his hands.

Settled back at your side with a pair of gloves covering his hands, he began peeling off the sticky dressing, caressing the reddened skin at which it was tugging as he removed it. He peeked at your face after every step, ensuring discomfort and pain never tainted your features. He babbled praise and nonsensical words while he cleaned the wound, things like “I couldn’t believe how a person could look that beautiful coming out of surgery,” all while he bore a genuine smile on his lips, his warm gaze moving between his hands and your flustered face, chuckling while he asked you keep still as you attempted to slap his shoulder.

Butterflies escaped your stomach, fluttering vivid wings within your entire body every time Mingi glanced at you, the infatuation and unending devotion evident in the dark irises, and you could almost see the future he had planned with you playing in his head while he took you in. You, with your hair in disarray and in dire need of a wash, body fatigued and eyes drooping, felt undeserving of this love, this care. And yet Mingi never stopped giving it, even when you denied his offer, he remained persistent, pushing it onto you until “no” ceased to be a usable response.

With deft fingers, he placed a clean pad onto the wound, throwing his gloves away and peering at your resting figure, eyes closed and breath even. Perhaps a little hurt, the past who-knows-how-many-minutes of compliments he’d assumed you were ignoring going unheard, he mooned over your relaxed state with a pout on his lips. He pried his eyes off you, leaning down to press fleeting kisses along the sides of the dressing, holding back his breath as to not wake you, simply basking in the warmth of your skin on his lips.

Covering you back up, he brought the duvet up to your shoulders, tucking you into bed with a final kiss to your forehead, then your eyelid, and finally your cheek. He just couldn’t help himself, because despite looking dishevelled, he needed you to know that his love for you goes beyond that. That he would part the sea for you if you’d drunkenly requested for it, that he was so stupidly devoted to you—in all your forms. That if all it took was his endless nagging and puppy eyes for you to concede, to yield for his care, then Mingi would continue to bat his eyelashes and annoy you into submission.

#panda's 2k sleepover o(≧▽≦)o #song mingi x reader #song mingi fluff #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #mingi x reader #song mingi scenarios #ateez scenarios #song mingi imagine #ateez imagines

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theold-ultraviolence · 1 year

Note

I’m your Aemond jerking off headcanons you mentioned maybe modern Aemond trying finger fucking himself but then maybe saving that for a partner in the future and I’m just 👀 throwing that out there 👀

For Your Love • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader • 18+

Summary: This is literally just smut with no plot. The itty bit of plot has to do with Aemond feeling a little self-conscious of finger fucking himself, until reader comes along. Words: 2.8 k A/N: IDK WHAT CAME OVER ME, but you sent me this and I wrote it in one go, so bestie, THANK YOU. CW: porn without plot, oral sex (m) receiving; blowjobs, rimming & finger fucking. Slightly subby Aemond, but very slightly, established relationship. Title and dirty talk are all inspired by the song 'For Your Love' by Måneskin. Gender neutral!reader. UPDATE: You can now read a continuation of this here.

His thighs tense by the mere tease of the tip of your tongue circling his rim. The touch is as light as the feather you’d use to relax him, earlier this night. Aemond was so wound up, you had to use every trick in the book to get him to loosen up. Not to mention getting to this point had been a whole process in itself.

It started about a month ago, when you were going down on him. You were drooling all over his cock, your hands massaging his balls as you looked up at him from beneath your eyelashes, moaning wantonly each time you felt him pulse inside your mouth – prompting you to take him deeper down your throat.

On their own accord, your fingers had wandered down lower, catching a little dribble of saliva and precum that had spilled from your mouth, and circling it around his hole.

His thighs had tensed, exactly as they do now. His muscles contracted, before he made himself relax with a shaky exhale, and your hand moved back to gently stroke the inside of his thigh instead.

Two nights afterwards, he’d tentatively brought up the subject as you were all settled in bed, softly making out before falling asleep. “Would you be interested in trying something with me?” he’d murmured against your lips, so quietly that it had taken you a couple of seconds to register what he’d said.

“Does this have anything to do with the other night?” you smirked playfully, always pleased to be able to read him so well. Sometimes – just sometimes – he wasn’t as closed off as he made himself to be, bare for you to read him like one of his favorite books.

He blushed and nodded slightly, looking down before redirecting his gaze back to yours, with a mix of curiosity but also nervousness. “I’ve tried to do it myself but could never be comfortable. But I know it’s supposed to feel really good…”

With a palm on his cheek, you shushed him with a tender kiss and a promise to make the experience as pleasurable but also as comfortable for him as you could. You’d do anything for Aemond, and wished to explore all the ways in which you could bring him pleasure, just as he does with you.

Last week you’d started this off, but you’d gotten too riled up on the idea of finger fucking Aemond, making you get carried away too soon, with your mouth on his hole too quickly, giving him no time to ease into the sensations and register what was happening. That repressed part of him – from having lived in such an uptight and rigid household – made him too nervous, ready to declare that this just wasn’t for him at all. You pulled back, apologizing for being too rough, too soon, and promised you could always come back to this later.

But now the game has entirely changed.

You’d dimmed the lights, both of you naked, instructing him to lay on his back so you could straddle him.

“Do you trust me?” You’d whispered into his ear, delighting in the visible goosebumps you could see, raising every single fine hair on his body.

“I trust you.” He’d replied by resting his palms on your curves, caressing your soft skin, up and down your sides.

You trailed kisses all over him, taking your time to thoroughly lick into his mouth, making out with him all sensually – all tongue and exchanged breaths – before trailing down to his jaw, the underside of his ear and that long column of his neck that looked as if it was made out of marble. Then, further down – nosing the soft, blonde hairs that curl around Aemond’s solid chest, coiling around his nipples, which you licked and bit and pinched until he closed his eyes and sighed in relaxation.

Then came the feather that you’d passed all over the spots on Aemond’s torso that had spit cooling on them – over all his light moles and little mounds of muscle that line up his stomach. It tickled – gifting you a timid smile that curled his lips, his stomach contracting with laughter.

You grinned brightly at the sight, leaning down to kiss him stupid, just because you were overcome with emotion and utter love for this man beneath you. All that donning made him melt into the bed instantly, muscles going lax under your touch.

When you separated from the kiss, you held his gaze, biting your lip mischievously as you leaned to the side to grab some massage oil from the bedside table. His eye had widened, a lovely pink hue spreading from the tips of his ears down to his chest as you squirted the oil into your palms before rubbing them together to heat it up and smooth it all over his chiseled body.

He stretched on the bed, elongating the elegant line of his body with each circular motion you rub onto him. The sight of him all sprawled on the bed, letting out quiet sighs as one of his hands fist the sheets while the other keeps its contact with your body – it’s enough to have you dripping for him.

He’s just so damn attractive, and all yours. All yours, to please, yours to dote on and love.

Soon, you find yourself right in between his thighs, pouring the oil directly into his lower belly and smothering it all over his hips, his legs…spreading them wider so you could make yourself comfortable on your stomach with your face just inches away from his hardened cock.

You look up at Aemond with nothing but desire consuming your pupils, as one slicked-up hand takes his cock, slowly rubbing him up and down while you plant sweet kisses all over the inside of his thighs.

Kisses that only get closer and closer to that spot that quivers so sweetly for you, even when Aemond tries to disregard it for archaic fears and prejudices. You’re determined to make all of that vanish from his mind, as you stroke his cock more deliberately, delighting in that solid weight twitching and pulsing in your grasp – in how his ruddy head starts leaking and dripping down your fist.

You pump his cock, all desperate for his precum, gathering it all in your tongue as soon as it reaches the base of his cock, and licking up, up, up, before swallowing down his head. Your tongue twirls around it, adding pressure to the underside before sucking more of his dick into your mouth, with your tongue flattened down against that swollen vein that traverses it.

Moaning around him, you start bobbing your head up and down, slowly – oh so damn slowly to really make it last and indulge in the feeling of him stretching your mouth before you hollow out your cheeks on your way down.

One of your hands starts softly fondling his balls, before you detach your mouth from his cock with a lewd pop, drooling onto the base of him and watching it pool around his sack. He’s a groaning mess, hips lifting up from the bed the moment you start lapping and sucking at his balls.

Something primal sets off on his brain, seeing you eating him out so unabashedly, with the vibrations of your moans concentrating on him like an electric wire about to snap into sparks.

The muscles of his thighs contract – he can’t take it anymore – when a teasing finger starts circling his ass. He sits up but you’re quick to place a soothing palm on his abdomen, stopping altogether to look at him. “If you want we can stop.”

“No, it’s okay. Keep going, love.”

“Are you sure?”

He holds his breath for a moment, before biting his lip and nodding, laying back down. He cards his long fingers through your hair without breaking your gaze.

“Let go, Aemond. I’ve got you.”

You grab his hand and give it a loving squeeze, until he exhales out a little bit of stress out of his system. “I know you do, love. Keep going, please…”

You kiss his knuckles, calming once you see that Aemond’s gaze is both pleading and adoring. You’re quick to fetch a bottle of lube from the bedside table this time, before resuming your position between his thighs, dousing the liquid right into his rim, spreading it around as gently as you can.

“Aemond,” you moan, just from seeing him twitch – seeing his thighs threatening to close in on you and trap you in between forever. “You know I’ll do whatever you want, Aemond…”

You’re hoping that your voice will help make him feel more comfortable, so you keep sighing out sweet nothings as you continue to rub his hole with the pads of two fingers. “I’ll do whatever you want…”

“Hmmm…” he grunts, closing his eye and leaning his head back on the pillows, taking your hand and holding on for the absolute ride he’s about to embark on. The one you’re about to lead him into.

He looks absolutely gorgeous, with his silver blonde hair like a halo amidst the pillows. Absolutely delicious. So much so, that you lean down to taste him again.

You slowly swallow down his cock as you keep the circular notions around his rim; keeping him safe inside of you while you gingerly prod at his entrance with one finger, letting it linger there for the time being. Not pushing or prodding further, just resting there as you bob your head up, and down – up, and down, down until your nose is nestled on the soft, silvery hairs right at the base.

You release him when you need to come back for hair, licking him in between moans because you’re a whole mess, and you haven’t even touched yourself yet. No, tonight is all about Aemond, and you tell him as much, with eyes half-mast and voice all low and hoarse from having his length down your throat. “I’ve got so much I can give to you, Aemond…I’m gonna fuck you ‘till you scream for me…”

You whine as you see him shudder and tilt his hips towards you, planting his feet on the bed in a silent plea to lure your mouth back on him. Such an enticing gift offered to you so eagerly, how could you refuse it?

“Tell me what you want, Aemond…I’ll give you what you want.”

You hotly whisper, squirting so much lube on him you could even swim between his thighs, which is exactly what you need for your finger to slip all the more easily, just past his hole. You can’t slide it in too deep, so you just keep it curled around his entrance as you switch between peppering loving kisses all over his thighs and hips and dick to make sure he remains calm.

With eyes closed, he seeks out your palm again, keeping your fingers tightly locked together while the ones on your opposite hand creep a little bit further in. “Fuck me…” he whispers, brows furrowed in a mix of pain and growing pleasure.

“Relax, darling. You’re doing so well, you’re taking me so well…I promise this is gonna feel so good, Aemond.” You moan, before spitting on his entrance to push your finger a little bit further in.

He feels so warm and tight; you thought this was gonna be weird for you, but you’re fucking creaming – every sensation feeling so heightened. Helping Aemond to unlock another part of him that brings him pleasure has you feeling a little bit delirious, it’s insane.

“That’s it, babe. That’s it…” you keep whispering while you start to softly fuck him with your finger, quickly slipping your hand from his his hold to squirt more lube on him. More and more, his muscles start to loosen up and you’re able to slide in easily.

He’s twitching and grunting and grasping your hand so tightly it should hurt but it only drives you to increase the speed a little bit, to rotate your wrist in a way that’ll help you find that spot inside of him that you know will have him seeing stars.

“Fuck!” he yelps just as you graze it – hips lifting from the bed and eye wide in surprise. You’re grinning wickedly now, keeping up that slight, steady pressure on him as you keep on licking and sucking at his cockhead. Just before pull your finger back out to replace it with your tongue.

The tip swirls around his rim, lapping up at his entrance, licking a trail from his asshole, to his ballsack, up and down, again and again before dribbling saliva all over him so your tongue and finger could curl around him. As you drool and lick him all over, you prod at him with the pads of two fingers now, slowly – so, very slowly – stretching him wide before sliding further down.

You’re absolutely mad, overcome with hunger as you take his cock in your mouth once more, and work up your two fingers inside of him. Carefully fucking him deeper and deeper to the rythm of your head bobbing up and down on his hard cock, to the music of Aemond’s low grunts and groans and choked out breaths as you scissor your fingers inside of him on and on until you’re met with his g-spot once again.

You moan on his cock at the feeling, look up at Aemond with a dark gaze filled with lust as you build up a pace that steadily quickens, that goes harder when you see that Aemond can take it – that he’s aching for it, if the way his rotating his hips and yanking at your hair is any indication. You’d chuckle if your lips weren’t so deliciously stretched around him, so you can only hollow out your cheeks and fucking edge him on with your gaze.

It’s like fire meets gasoline when his eye snaps open to meet you.

It’s as if he’s daring you, with his furrowed brow and lips trapped between his teeth – daring you fuck him harder, to suck at him faster. To make him scream and cry, make him cum harder than he ever has.

And fuck, if you’re up for the challenge.

Your wrist moves quicker, fingers all snug inside of him, now grazing insistent little circles on his g-spot as you drool on his cock and swallow him down like the total slut you are for him.

“Please…” he grunts through gritted teeth, and you’re too fucking pleased, smiling with your eyes as you continue to blow him.

“Please what?” you mock as you come up for air before taking down his length once more.

“Make me cum…” he grabs a handful of your hair to keep you all locked around his cock but you push past his strong hold to further tease him.

“You wanna cum for me, Aemond? Gonna be a good boy and cum in my mouth?”

“Please!” his thighs shake, abdomen contracts as his quiet grunts turn into desperate little whines that he tries to keep down because he’s too proud to be begging for release. The way he’s throbbing on your mouth, the way he’s squeezing your fingers so tightly, has you rutting against the bed, desperate for any sort of friction to bring you release. And any other day you’d get a little meaner – tease him for a little bit longer.

But right now you’re in the same boat as he is, ready to burst right the fuck now.

“Cum for me, Aemond.” You gasp before taking his cock in your mouth and sucking all sloppily, scissoring his fingers inside of him faster, rubbing on his g-spot harder and harder and harder until Aemond lets out one long, drawn-out moan.

His legs tense, locking around your head and keeping you trapped in between them as he spills right down your throat – spit and cum dribbling down your chin as you moan and moan like a wanton whore, squeezing your legs to cum at the same time.

He’s gasping as if he’d come back from one of his morning hikes, looking up at the ceiling all dazed and spent. His fist softens up on your hair, as he cards a hand through his own hair before resting it atop his chest as he catches his breath.

You release him with a content sigh – your finger all squeezed by his ass that it takes a little bit of effort to take it out, making him groan when he finally releases you. The hand that had been buried inside of him rests on his abdomen, rising and falling with every breath he takes, as you look up at him all dopey and in love.

“How was that for you? Have you changed your mind about this?” you murmur, laughing at the way his eye widens in surprise, incredulous at the question. As if he hadn’t been keeping you in a death-grip with his thighs and fist and ass.

He sits up then, leaning down and guiding you to him with two fingers under your chin, kissing you despite you being covered in drool and cum.

“Absolutely.”

#aemond targaryen #modern!aemond #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #reader insert fanfiction #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen smut #modern!aemond smut #gender neutral reader #hotd #house of the dragon #fanfiction #ewan mitchell #my writing

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madwomansapologist · 3 months

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i love everybody because i love you

Meet Kind!Druid!Tav | More Weirdos | AO3

synopsis: It doesn't matter what their first impressions of you were, they certainly did not expect you to be so important in their lifes. And as the days passes, each one of your companions need to understand a simple fact: they love you. They all love you.

warnings: a sequel to that (you don't need to read if you don't want to). song "strawberry blond". companions (lae'zel, halsin) x druid!tav. background cast (alfira, mirkon, scratch, owlbear, shadowheart, astarion, wyll, mizora, karlach, minthara). lae'zel love language is pressing a dagger against your throat. i accidentaly made her somewhat a stalker?? there is a high chance minthara doesn't sound like her because i killed her like two onversations in. if you discover which animated character is my biggest inspiration for this tav i will give you a reward.

In a harsh world, people are supossed to shield themselfs from even the possibility of danger. Is the only rational response to the ambiguity of chaos. What those who crave to survive must learn, what those who deserve to survive must do.

You get stronger, so you won't feel pain. Because to feel pain is to remind your soul that one day your body will perish. To get stronger is to forget about the eventual end. Is to get protected from death itself, even if as just a concept.

When not even death can catch you, you're free. When you have nothing to love, nothing to care about, you are free. That's real strength. To be invulnerable. To have nothing to lose, no one close enough to ever hurt you.

Lae'zel lost the count on how many times you bleed. How many times you fell. Burned, drowned, exhausted in pain. Arrows crossed your chest, swords cut your legs, calloused hands stopped you from breathing.

You're somewhat good at hiding it. How much things can hurt you. When someone disrespect one of your companions, when people blame you for their fates, when you did everything you could and it wasn't enough. It hurts you in a different, worst way. She can see it on your face.

Maybe you could've earned a good end, if the world worked in a different way. A peaceful life, one fit for those who don't aspire greatness. But Lae'zel knew it was only a matter of time until the tadpole took control. She felt it on herself. Saw it on you.

No one would save her, no one would save any of you, but perhaps Lae'zel could. It was an merciful act. To end you first. You failed as a leader, but you tried. Then she'll go to the others, knowing she's brave enough to kill herself after.

She thought you had surrendered yourself to her. That you had come to the same conclusion. A wise druid, after all. Then Lae'zel felt. The cold thread against the base of her neck. A dagger she didn't saw coming.

"Step back," you ordered, voice unaffected. Lae'zel never heard you like that before. She had a dagger against your throat, but you spoke as if you rule the entire world.

"Chk, you think that tiny blade of yours will stop me from free..."

"What I think doesn't matter, but what I know does." Your eyes burned her skin. "You're stronger, I'm faster. I propose you a bet. If you kill me, go on with your plan. If I kill you, that's it. I won't kill them. I won't kill myself. Even if I can, even if I must. You would've died for nothing, forever ignorant if it was the right thing to do."

Lae'zel saw you barefoot at the Emerald Grove, applauding Alfira as she sang. Crossing the river by jumping from stone to stone, talking to Mirkon as if he wasn't a kid but a dear friend. How many times did Lae'zel found a bed shaped of you on the grass right next to where Scratch and Owlbear slept?

A sacreed deer, whose even blood is ever so sweet, howled like an wolf.

Would you turn into a mindflayer out of... stubbornness? Would you let the rest of your beloved party turn into something utterly disgusting, putting in danger all those people you swore to protect, just to prove a point?

Maybe you would. Maybe you wouldn't.

No one died that night.

You intrigued Lae'zel. Before you were her supposedly defenseless prey, and now you are the object of her curiosity. Lae'zel didn't understand you. And she craved to.

So she kept a close eye on you.

You bleed. All the fucking time. You bleed, and you wept. But everytime someone crushed you down, you rose up. For every tear that fall from your eyes, you made sure to smile. You survive, and you keep on doing it.

Strength and weakness merged in the warrior's mind. She knew what strength is, she can smell weakness from afar. Lae'zel was taught everything she was supossed to know.

But you were never the one to fit in old impervious notions.

Lae'zel saw you end a hyena's suffering without flinching, and you trying to hold on the wind when you were about to fall. She heard you helping a bird decorate its nest, and the breaking of a skull of someone brave enough to maim Shadowheart when she was near you.

You yelled at Astarion as he tried to stop you from helping gnomes. Helped Wyll with herbs for his pain after Mizora's trick. Helped Gale with dinner, putting a smile to the usually frowed wizard's face. Gave Karlach her first hug in years.

She saw your every movement. Lae'zel heard you laughing, saw you dancing, watched as you helped your new friends. Sometimes it felt as if you made white lines so she could follow you. So Lae'zel could see you being good, nice, decent. Being you in a way that showed her that no, you would've never let your companions turn into mindflayers. You were bluffing, and she fell for it.

At some point, it started to ache. Anytime you laugh at some tiefling's story, something inside Lae'zel burned. At night, she could picture your smile on her eyelids. When you call her name during battle, yelling instructions that somewhat always end in victory. When you look at her.

She can still see that fire. That same flame that stopped her from killing you right then and there. But diluted, controlled. And still, just as able of burning her entire soul. You have a fire contained within your gaze, and Lae'zel doesn't mind getting burned.

Maybe you're not that weak. And maybe she's not that strong.

She's not watching you anymore. Observing your every move so she can understand your mind. Not a prey, not a walking question mark. Lae'zel is purelly admiring.

For some, you came as a tempest. Slowly, without announce your intentions, your way of being embraced them.

A few flinched, scared of what that meant about them. That by admitting you're good despite it all means they could be good too. Some welcomed it, scared of what that meant about the world. If you're good despite everything that happened, then others could be too. Others chose not to.

But you stroke Halsin as a thunderstorm, just as quickly and fiercly. In such a dark time, you were a lighthouse. A shining light that blind at first, but embraces and comforts.

The grove was in danger, his life could end at any given moment, a goblin camp separated him from the world he worked so hard to protect. But your party helped him, and it gave Halsin the right amount of hope.

You asked him to stay behind, and he did so. Halsin wouldn't be able to control himself, and you didn't need all that attention. He was hopeful, not an idiot. But when Halsin heard screams from the room beside... Knowing that Minthara was there, Halsin couldn't help himself.

A wizard focused on the goblins. As he held them in place, a cleric made sure to end them. But at the other side of the room, the only other druid he saw in weeks had a dagger deep on her chest.

Minthara had you on your knees, her nails digging on the skin of your chin. A burning tiefling didn't knew a way to react that wouldn't end within that same blade slicing your throat. She waited for an order, an instruction of any kind, and Minthara realized that you were leading the rebels.

"Is that your leader?" Minthara looked at the tiefling. Her eyes were numb, bored even, but her grin was sharp. She forced to blade deeper. "A weak druid, barely able of helding a sword? Are you that desperate?"

You should've cried. You should've beg for mercy. You should've do anything, instead of laughing. Minthara glared at you, sure that you were reduced to a crazy, desperate animal. But when you bit her hand, blood staining your chin, you were more of a beast.

Minthara stumbled, and you pulled the blade she left on your shoulder. Blood ran down your side, but that didn't stopped you from rising up. Halsin don't think anything would've.

"Maybe you're right," you hissed. With her dagger on your left hand, you took your sword from the ground. "I'm not a fighter. I wasn't educate to control the Weave. I can't heal a thing. When I can't do something, I find someone that can. Without their help, I would be dead by now."

Halsin came here to act. To help, protect, kill. But all he could do, just like everyone else in that room, was to watch you. To look at your beaming smile, to see the blood on your teath, not even trying not to get blind by it.

"Why would anyone follow someone that professes to be so weak?" She looked at the wizard, a dead goblin at his feet, her brain thinking of all the ways she could defeat your party. "What can you do that give you the right to rule them?"

Your smile seemed to grow wider. "I can beat the shit out of you."

And beat the shit out of Minthara you did.

With a first impression like that, ain't no mistery why Halsin couldn't do anything but to stay with your party. But to go on with you, deafeting the Shadowcurse and exploring Baldur's Gate. But to see you shine, feel your warmth, and let it pull a string on his heart.

At the end, it didn't matter how it started. It didn't matter how much they fought the thought back. If they lied to themselfs, made you a villain on their minds, welcomed you with open arms.

You have their hearts. Simply as it can be. You have their hearts.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

BALDUR'S GATE 3 TAGLIST: @citrusbunnies

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

#madwomansapologist #lae'zel #lae'zel bg3 #lae'zel x tav #lae'zel x reader #lae'zel of k'liir #halsin #halsin x reader #halsin bg3 #halsin x tav #halsin baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 tav #bg3 x reader #bg3 x tav #bg3 x you #kind!druid!tav #oc: liliana wilde #tavrem

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jinkookspencil · 1 year

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things bts would love & do with their curvy s.o.

a little long author’s note - fluff and suggestive and a little smutty / ot7 scenarios / a bit of a drabble, because i didn't say everything i wanted to and i don't think i said it as well. but i had this in the drafts for a while & i was feeling a bit self-conscious about my curves recently & had to remind myself of my own words and scenarios. here’s to self-love in 2023, everyone! and just because this fits with what i’m saying and the post - don’t wait for someone else or a man to love every single thing about you! you deserve all the love on your own and everyone reading this is a lovable beauty <3 this goes for your inner and outer selves - even this post is mainly focused on outer (& isn’t meant to stereotype at all! this post also has no mentions of food - unfortunately, many authors only associate curviness to food and include stuff like "cooking together" all the time.). i made it more nsfw than it was at the last minute because i really realized we don't have enough curvy girl content here! on that note if anyone has any curvy girl scenarios with bts or an ot7 members lis like this they want to see me write about lmk - requests are open in general but i love writing about & for my fellow curvy/chubby girls 💕 lots of love - pen ✎

namjoon

this is gonna sound a bit weird but I think namjoon would go crazy for

1. your silhouette - the CURVES WILL DRIVE HIM INSANE - he would literally write an entire song about being mesermized by your curves

2. your boobs - sskskssk sorry nothing will convince me namjoon is not a boob man. i know curvy doesn’t always = big boobs but it’s the combination of BOOBS and curves that’ll drive him nuts, no matter their size. having his hand roam your body while his head is stuffed between your boobs? his idea of heaven.

sorry, i think i had just read a namjoon smut when i wrote that

anyways, he’s obsessed

and namjoon being namjoon, he’ll be obsessed with unique features that come with being curvy

which are, again, curves, but also: stretch marks, cellulite, love handles, a muffin top, etc - he’ll be fascinated and guess what? he will find beautiful ways to describe them, and he’ll make you see them in a new light as well

this would be his response if you complained about “imperfections” and called them as such, for example: “you know what type of art I find the most beautiful? the ones with quote unquote imperfections. those imperfections - or the unique details, i should say, showed an artist, a human was behind the painting. how boring would it be if all art was the same? if all bodies were the same? our ‘details’ and differences make us who we are, make us different. ‘imperfection’ is perfection, honey. you, your body…. you’re a work of art.” (gonna end up writing a mini namjoon drabble with some of that)

seokjin

seokjin would love every. single. thing. about you.

like it or not i genuinely believe he’s the most likely out of bts to love a curvy girl and that they’re actually his type

you know how most guys see chubby girls as cute rather than hot? fuck that, to seokjin you’re incredibly hot AND incredibly cute.

he’d be utterly obsessed with every inch of your body… i’m serious.

butt? yes. waist? yes. hips? yes. thighs? yes. arms? yes. tummy? YES. cheeks? YES!

& a thing about seokjin is that he’s not just in love with you and your body, he’s clever. he knows that chubby girls can get a ton of shit. like he’ll be totally aware of that fact or it won’t take long for him to realize it. and it’ll make him mad

but mostly, he’ll keep his cool and be strategic about it

so something seokjin would love is hyping you up AND showing!! you!! OFF!!!!!!!!!!

though he’s not a fan of pda, when he’s out with you in public, he’ll show you off in his ways, like holding your hand, playing with your hands and hair... but he'll also have his arm around your waist, resting on your soft hips and he'll lovingly caress your cheek and pinch it and he’ll keep saying “my beautiful girlfriend / my fiancee / my wife” etc to literally anyone

someone's giving you weird looks? catch seokjin suddenly throw off the entire situation by yelling - just to no one - "MY GIRLFRIEND IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE HER" - the looks would frustrate him but he'll enjoy hyping you up and seeing you all flustered when he does that

he’d handle your insecure days and “low days” really well, but i honestly think that you spend enough time with seokjin and you’ll end up loving your body as much as he does. he's without a doubt the type of boyfriend to make you feel as sexy as he sees you... well as sexy and beautiful as you actually are!!

anyways he’ll weirdly enjoy consoling you when you have those days though. he’ll be so so sensitive and understanding and clever as i said, but he’ll just love telling you how beautiful you are, he doesn’t tire of it nor does he get frustrated you do talk about your insecurities. like namjoon, he'll find some very unique way to see it

and he would LOVE tickling you and squishing all your soft bits <3 you can beg him to stop, but you will grow to love it…. he’ll make sure of it!

low-key the type to buy you lingerie and almost force you into it because he knows you'll look beautiful in it (it's not just for him, it's for you - he loves seeing you all shy when you get into it though.... but that shyness will wear off with time and your confidence will only drive seokjin madder)

on that note, he won't have that "i can't do this thing in bed because i'm chubby" attitude - he'll make sure he finds any way to ensure you do everything you want to....

and he will ask you to do things for him

would smother his face in every part soft and squishy part of you and will definitely definitely squeeze you during sex

and he will definitely ask you to sit on his face and suffocate him with your thighs... :)

yoongi

coming up with an answer for yoongi was incredibly tough because

i think yoongi is so chill, something about yoongi screams “i really don’t care about what you look like, it’s the personality that makes a person attractive or not”

like no matter what, i think he’d love you for you.

love is love

no matter who the other person is or how they look like

BUT - he will fold and fall

and the intense physical attraction will follow once he gets to know you (again, this is not specific to curvy people, i think this is just how yoongi might be)

but this is about curvy people so let’s dive into that

if you wear something that shows a little more, perhaps lingerie or a form-fitting dress, and he’ll get so flustered and he will avoid eye-contact (especially if you don’t wear that style regularly)

like jin and jimin, yoongi would also be a person who knows that curvy/chubby women can go through so much shit just for the bodies being the way they are, and it’ll aggravate him just as much as it would jin… but it’s questionable whether yoongi would be able to keep his cool… because it’s you.

and low-key that energy could translate into his love for you too… in a very yoongi “harshly gentle” way.

if you express any insecurity in regards to your body, he’d caress your face and stare deeply into your eyes & and just very seriously and quietly be like "??? so??? i love you more than anything in this world already, do you think i give a fuck that you have a lil belly??? hmm, why are you trying to hide it? i see you every day, do you think i don’t know what your body looks like? be fr, y/n. you’re beautiful (then he’ll poke your belly cutely, before the energy shifts and gets intense) don’t say that shit about yourself or about me. (then he’ll kiss you so softly)” <3

hoseok

hoseok would LOVE it when you show off your figure and your curves!!!

he's a hips and ass man, i'm sure of it.

he would AUDIBLY AND PROUDLY hype you tf up when you wear something a little more form-fitting!!

and it’s something he always always encouraged, asking you to try bolder styles and colors

hobi simply will not take the “i can’t wear that because i’m chubby” saying

“you want to wear it? it suits you? FUCKING WEAR IT YOU LOOK FUCKING INCREDIBLE. WHO CARES IF YOUR TUMMY AND HIPS ARE EMPHASIZED THAT’S A GOOD THING YOU’RE SEXY AS FUCK”

so when you as far as to dress in something a little risque? oof hobi will go crazy

do a lil dance for him? goodbye, hobi’s on the floor.

also we all know hoseok is a fashion expert, and chubby girls know it isn’t that easy to find clothes that fit our proportions/sizes/bodies…. but not if you’re with hoseok. this man will do whatever he can to make sure you can wear what you want, whether it's finding international brands that have your style+size or literally surprising you with a custom made outfit

"that brand doesn't carry your size? you like it but the proportions are just slightly off? don't worry about it baby i have your christmas gift sorted xx"

he won't be shy to hype you up just as loudly in public and on social media too

the type to encourage you to shake everything you've got in the club while grabbing onto you...

jimin

this is gonna sound cliched but bear with me

jimin will be incredibly attracted to your confidence and your energy

i think confidence is something jimin is attracted to no matter what, but if he sees the way you just radiate self-love and your confidence shining out of you through the way you dress, talk, carry yourself....

(i.e. “i can pull any man i want energy”, tight/skimpy dresses, STRUT instead of walking, good posture, etc while KNOWING the extra shit you could get for it & not giving a fuck??)

oh my god. oh my god.

to say jimin’s heart will flutter would be an understatement

you’d walk into the room, like you own it, and jimin would feel like he wants to do whatever he can to actually give it to you

and, similar to jin and yoongi, he knows curvy girls get a ton of shit just for existing - but it's almost double when they’re (loudly) confident, despite the fact that they should be that way!

so that respect and attraction he'll have for you will just be amplified and he’ll admire you even more (i hope this is coming off in a good way, the way I meant it - i can see this being misinterpreted but i can’t think of another way to word it - he’ll be like YES I’M SO GLAD YOU KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE AND YOU ALSO SAY FUCK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE!!! THAT’S SO HOT OF YOU!!!)

& if someone says something shitty about you in front of him… - he’ll pick up on even the slightest jabs or comments or looks - and there’s no way jimin would be able to keep this cool. good luck to whoever tried to insult you. >.< jimin will make them regret their entire existence let alone their comment

jimin’s still jimin, so he’d try to flirt with you, and if you meet that with the same energy? OH MAN he’ll fold (maybe even a little more if you somehow reject him… and definitely a lot more if you bring that energy into the bedroom)

pls i can't shake the idea of jimin being so so so happily dominated by a plus size woman and dominatrix.... his idea of heaven, actually

and when you have an insecure day he’ll remind you of your beauty and your confidence in any and *every* way possible.

and even though it all started with the attraction to confidence, it’s not like the attraction will fade off if you have an insecure day!!! he won’t even be a little angry about it - i can especially imagine him being so gentle and understanding. in fact, he'll be all over you

taehyung

i think taehyung would love your squishiness and your warmth <3 and more

i hope that doesn’t sound weird but let me explain the first bit

he would definitely squish your cheeks, in any scenario

like when you’re down and he’s reassuring you or taking care of you…

or even in a passionate kiss….

he will find any and every excuse to hug you, and his hugs are SQUISHYYY

it’s just so comforting to him

in taehyung’s eyes it’s all just warm and feel-good

he’ll love hugging you at the end of a long day - cuddles is just your default state together

but when he’s in ~the mood~ which I suspect is often, his hands will roam and he’ll go crazy…

especially for your hips!!!!

and your boobs, but mostly your hips

and when it comes down to ~ actually doing the dirty ~ oh he’ll think you’re BEAUTIFUL in the heat of the moment. he thinks you’re beautiful regardless, but ~during it~ he’ll almost be in a high from just seeing you in that state…. he'll say that that's when you truly let go and feel like yourself and be yourself.

the type to swat your arm away if you tried using it to cover your tummy in photos

he’ll make you feel more loved than any other person, and he’d kiss and bite you everywhere…. especially your squishy bits.

similar to jimin, he'd be incredibly attracted to your confidence

like if he just sees you shaking it at the club and calling yourself beautiful? loudly and proudly?

i honestly think taehyung would be so damn attracted to you that he'd be more clingy than he ever was

again, that energy and mindset of "the world gives me enough shit for existing so i might as well have fun and not give a damn" would be so refreshing to taehyung and he'll really respect and love you for it

jungkook

this man will not leave you alone.

why? because he loves you, sure, but also because jungkook’s an ass man

& he would be so obsessed with your butt

there’s!! just!! so!! much!! more!! to !! hold!! and !! slap!!!! and SQUISH!!!

and your THIGHS TOO?!?!??!?

jungkook’s favorite places to let his hands rest while you’re making out.

i say “rest” loosely because guess what? he’s definitely squishing and feeling you up

he especially likes your thighs because they’re such a treat when he actually can squeeze them and hold them, whereas he has constant access to your butt, and your boobs, squeezing them on the regular.

yeah, just accept that you're jungkook's sexy little stress ball

i mention squeezing and squishing a lot in this post but jungkook's the biggest criminal, he'll take any aNY opportunity to squish anything he can

which is why he'll have so much fun with you!! so much more to hold!! and squish!!

jungkook is a curious boy™️ so i think he’ll love tracing and feeling your stretch marks… he’ll be fascinated by them

something tells me jungkook won't easily pick up on slight jabs people make of you or even weird stares - but honestly it's just because he's too busy lovingly ogling you to notice.

but if you're ever insecure he’ll shower you with love… but if you ever doubt his love on any of your insecure days, he’ll be really hurt.

also? I read this in a couple of pics but the idea never left my head:

jungkook would be determined to carry you. and like jin he will be determined to make sure you live out any sexual fantasy you had. he won’t take any shit about “I’m too heavy, etc etc” - he WILL carry you. first bridal style, then until he can lift you up during a kiss or during sex. then?…. he might just train to do the dirty dancing lift. this boy is determined.

he will simply refuse to let you miss out on anything just because you weigh a little more. so what? why shouldn’t he train a little more to carry you? especially considering putting on more muscle and making his girlfriend happy are two of his favorite things to do <3

and if something in the world stops you from being able to experience a thing you want to, simply because you're chubby, he'll be so mad at the world that you'll have to end up consoling him.

he'll make sure you experience something even better though <3

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justporo · 8 months

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A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 12)

From now on, parts will come out on AO3 and tumblr simultaneously.

The part in which Astarion literally asks "Want to know what else is big?" *wink wink*

Spurred on by all the surprises and shocks of the night Astarion and Tav share a short moment of shameless flirting in a dark alleyway - rawr. Because for Astarion there is never a bad moment to make Tav squirm.

Background music for their flirtatious behaviour: Whatchugot - Caro Emerald

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Gif from here!)

You made to leave the courtyard through a small iron gate that led to a dark alley. At the end of it guards were positioned. You both positioned yourself to cling to the darkness of the alleyway – this felt incredibly familiar by now. They couldn’t see you now since you were hidden by shadows, but this exit was not an option.

“So, you’re the resident drunkard. Any ideas on how to sneak around them?”, Astarion asked with a whisper while crouching down next to you. You threw him a death glare but nodded and moved ahead.

There were several alleys connected to this one through which one could easily almost all of the lower city. And you knew almost all of them, an occupational advantage you were now more than happy to have.

So, you snuck down several shadowy alleys in complete silence. You didn’t even feel like you needed to look back and check on Astarion. Far as you knew, he was probably more proficient in this than you were.

When several minutes had passed and you were several streets away from the tavern you slowly stood up and said: “I guess we are far enough.” “Good, this brings back memories I am not fond of at all”, Astarion replied with disgust and he almost gagged when a rat decided to pitter-patter directly across his foot.

“I’m sorry I have to make you do this, Astarion”, you replied to that and looked at him with compassion. “Don’t worry, my love, I can handle myself. Also” – here he stepped closer to you with a mischievous twinkle in his red eyes – “I have quite a plethora of ideas how to replace said memories with much better ones.” He came closer while his voice dropped lower making you walk back until he had you against a wall for the second time this night. He placed one of his hands with those long, elegant fingers next to your head and leaned to you but not quite touching you. You leaned back against a wall, putting one foot up on it in a relaxed manner and let your head rest against the stones. You felt like a girl being chatted up by the boy she had been eyeing the entire evening.

“Plethora, hm? That’s quite a big word to use on someone that had so much to drink”, you answered and looked down at Astarion’s chest. His shirt had opened up a bit more because of the fight and flight. You lifted your hands to the strings spanning over his opened collar and started toying with them while making doe eyes at your vampire. He leaned in even closer his face so close you could see the fine lines in his iris even in the dark. “You want to know what else is big?”, he purred, his voice deep and dripping with sinful promise.

You chose to make him work for it. “Hmm, quite a few things spring to mind, frankly”, you replied playfully and arched your back a little to raise your breasts coquettishly into Astarion’s field of view. He raised an eyebrow in appreciation and took in the view, tongue in cheek. You continued: “Your vocabulary, for starters… your love for me… your fangs… your ego, certainly…” His eyes narrowed at you in suspicion. He wasn’t quite sure if you were teasing him but he still wasn’t above enjoying to watch you writhe in the narrow space between his body and the wall. “Also”, you raised your voice and made big eyes at him as if you’d only just thought of something. Astarion’s lips opened in anticipation, and he moved closer into your space. “Your co…” – his eyes sparked at you, his lips almost at your neck – “omprehensive knowledge of all things having to do with arts, literature and history.”

Astarion stopped, only millimetres from your neck. You could barely stop yourself from snorting and laughing but wanted to see his reaction to your insolent behaviour and dearly hoped he wouldn’t decide to just rip your throat out.

But the vampire just broke down laughing manically and buried his face on your shoulder. You couldn’t hold it in now too and so you laughed until your tummy hurt and tears streamed down your face. It was certainly amplified by all the happenings of the night and the fact that you were absolutely exhausted, but you couldn’t care less.

Astarion slowly let his face slide off your shoulder slowly while still chuckling and looked up at you whose face was contorted by laughter. He grabbed your face with both hands a planted a silly, loud, wet and smacking smooch on your mouth. “You know how much I love you, my sweet sweet darling?”, Astarion asked and gave you another smooch. You made a disgusted face and tried to push him away while sticking your tongue out in revulsion: “Eww!” But he was stronger than you and forced you to endure it. “I love you and you’re also the best friend I could imagine”, Astarion beamed at you. “Yeah, who the fuck other than me would put up with you idiot”, you said grumpily and grabbed the flap of his shirt collar to wipe his spit of your mouth. “Love you too though, and you’re also my best friend”, you mumbled back to him to which you received a genuine sweet kiss from the pale elf.

“Did the ‘you wanna know what else is big’ line ever work though? That was low even for you”, you asked him. He simply shrugged and leaned his head to one side while looking at you: “Good thing then I won’t need lines like these to get in your pants. Or flattery. Next time I’ll just kick the legs out from right under you and just have my way with you on the street without saying a single word – just moaning into one of your pointy ears, love.”

Whoops, that absolutely did the trick. You blushed and gulped at his ‘promise’, your core clenched. The bastard just smirked at you – knowing he had won. “But thanks for ruining the mood, you idiot”, he said and placed his lips on your forehead for a brief moment. “It’s not like you had me all hot and bothered since before we arrived at Maeve’s and kept teasing me the entire night or anything”, he sighed dramatically. “You’re one to talk, Astarion, Sir ‘There will be no boundaries when we’ll be alone’.” “Oh, and look where we’re at right now, love”, Astarion countered and leaned closer to you again. The mood certainly had swung back to steaming hot quite quickly. And the sparkle in Astarion’s ruby eyes did nothing to cool your lust for this man.

The blade that suddenly appeared at his throat though worked wonders and replaced the fire with icy dread.

Tags: @daedriclys

#astarion #astarion x tav #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #astarion x reader #astarion x mc #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x oc #astarion x you #fanfic #fanfiction #astarion ancunin #bg3 spoilers #a night of song and laughter #chapter list

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lizzieislife94x · 4 months

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I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend (e.o)

GirlxGirl

LizziexFem Reader

Honestly I'm drunk and Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne came on and so I've wrote this lmao enjoy (I will be writing it sober but just putting the idea down now or I'll forget)

Y/ns POV:

Why does she need to look so fucking perfectly perfect I groan to myself as I fake a smile to my best friends, friend Elizabeth I've met her multiple times we've hung out in a group multiple times and we always catch eyes I've spoke to her many of times alone but it's so hard to control myself around her I don't know why I'm so madly inlove with this woman yet she only sees me as a friend of a friend but fuck I love listening to her talking and her laughing smile can turn my worst days to amazing days and her eyes I've found myself lost in them many times and don't get me started with the little touches and flirting here and there purely innocent on her end she's just started seeing someone she has a second date with her in a few days "y/n yoo y/n" my best friend Stella snaps in my face with a giggle bringing me out of my thoughts "welcome back y/n where did you go" lizzie says softly as she gently rubs my arm making me blush "oh uh just lost in thought haha anyone want a drink?" I say standing up as I walk away without actually seeing if anyone wants a drink "yeah can I have a double vodka with sprite please" I say ordering a drink and boy do I need it

"dude what is wrong with you, you where spaced out the entire conversation lizzie was telling us about the girl she has a second date with and you wernt listening " I rub my temples and turn to Stella placing my hands on her shoulders "you know I love you right but please drop it im fine I zoned out and I don't wanna hear about how excited she is for her date with Little Miss Perfect" I say with a sigh as jealousy comes out "here you go ma'am " I turn and take my drink smiling as I turn back to Stella "you like her don't you" I roll my eyes and drink some of my drink "just drop it please I need to go get ready to go on stage the band should be ready ill see you in a bit" I down the rest of my drink and walk past lizzie towards the stage without making eye contact I quickly jump on the stage and hug my band mates I walk towards Jules who smirks pulling me into a hug hands resting on my lower back giving the full bar view she whispers in my ear not breaking the hug "so blondy over there is that who the songs about are you still doing it " I pull away and look at her with a nod I walk towards the mic and pull it to my lips "mic check one two one two, how's everyone doing tonight I hope youre all excited to see us perform because we are super excited to be here as always thank you to the owner and our dear friend Jacob" I smile as everyone starts cheering and screaming I turn to look at my band and nod as they start to play the tune I smirk getting ready to jump around and sing my heart out giving it all my energy "hey hey you you I don't like your girlfriend no way no way I think you need a new one" I scream while jumping around having a ball making direct eye contact with lizzie I point to her slightly as I continue to jump around singing all of us giving it our all " hey hey you you I want to be your girlfriend "

we continue singing until the song ends as everyone starts screaming and cheering making me smile brightly we perform another 3 songs before I bid my goodnights to the people I jump off stage and smile an appreciated smile as Stella hands me a drink I sit and drink it as I wipe the sweat from my face by lifting my top I take a second to get my breath back before looking at lizzie and Stella lizzies eyes glued to my toned stomach "thanks for supporting me as always such an amazing bestie I love you" I say standing up walking behind Stella wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug kissing her cheek gently "I'm gonna head home though because I need to shower and well you know" I whisper the last part as she squeezes my arms letting me know she understands I quickly stand up straight and look at lizzie with a slight smile "thank you for coming have a great night" I turn walking out of the club as I get my car keys from my pocket unlocking it I climb in and sigh leaning my head against the steering wheel after a few minutes I hear soft knocks on my window I look up to see lizzie and smile as I open my door "hey are you ok" I ask as she moves closer to me "yeah so Stella's boyfriend turned up and they where eating eachothers faces and she's my ride home I was wondering if you could take me home" I can't say no to that face as much as I can't spend time with her I'd never leave her here I need to make sure she's safe "yeah sure of course jump in" she smiles and jumps up and down placing a kiss on my cheek as she runs around to the other side hoping in the car "thank you" I nod not really saying anything as I start the car and head towards lizzies house she lives 50 minutes from here so this is gonna be an agonising ride "that first song you sang it was great about anyone in particular?" She randomly says 10 minutes into the drive "yeah but she's seeing someone so it honestly doesn't matter"

I say a little coldly "is it about stella" she says a hint of sadness in her voice I shake my head and laugh "oh god no I love her she's my best friend but I'm not inlove with her and I certainly don't want to be her girlfriend " after a few seconds of silence she whispers "good" i pull over to a more private place and look over to her "oh my god youre going to murder me arnt you" I let out a laugh and look at her longingly "no lizzie I'm not going to murder you I'd never hurt you, but" i take a deep breath and ready myself gripping the wheel a little "youre an amazing girl but I think we should hang out with Stella separately being around you is becoming incredibly hard and tonight sitting listening to you talking about this amazing girl youre so excited to see again crushed me and I can't sit and pretend it doesn't when we all hang out but as time goes on it's gonna get worse and become harder and I know its so selfish of me but I think it's best" I say with sadness I look down and whisper after a few minutes of silence "say something "she clears her throat and looks at me "just take me home please" I sigh and start to drive towards her house once again she doesn't say a word the entire way to her house after 40 minutes I pull up to her house and park the car "there you go" she turns and looks at me like she's studying me and before I know it she grabs me by the collar of my shirt crashing her lips to mine in a heated passionate kiss after a few seconds I pull away completely confused "wh.." she smirks and interruptes me "there is no other girl, I like you and I wanted to pretend I had this amazing date coming up it was stupid but fuck I like you" before she can say anything I kiss her passionately, once air becomes and issue she pulls away leaning her head against mine "take me to bed" she whispers I instantly jump out the car and run around to open her door both of us giggling as she jumps into my arms

"You look so fucking sexy" she says biting her lip as she looks down at my naked exposed body I honestly wasn't expecting her to be a top but fuck me she's hot, I can't help but blush looking at her with lust in my eyes "please fuck me mommy" I instantly freeze slapping my hands over my mouth my eyes almost bulging out as I realise what i said "fuck say it again" she groans as she sits between my legs rubbing my thighs sending tingles all over my body "please...fuck me..mommy" I breath out a moan as her thumb gently rubs my clit adding a little pleasure making me buck my hips to gain more friction "please don't tease baby" I moan as she smirks "so fucking wet for me kitten and that's not my name" she slides her fingers down to my entrance teasing me "I'm sorry mommy but please don't tease me I need you fuck I need yo..." before I could finish she sunk 2 fingers deep inside me causing me to gasp and moan as the pleasure runs through my veins "mhhh fuck just like that mommy" she thrusts her fingers faster as she leans down taking my left nipple into her mouth as my hand instinctively grabs her hair causing her to moan "you like that kitten" she groans against my nipple as her fingers curl hitting my gspot "fuckkkkkkk do...don't stop pl..please mommy" I scream as she continues to hit my gspot over and over I feel my legs start to shake uncontrollably as the knot in my stomach snaps and my orgasm washes over me lizzie slows her thrusts to let me ride out my orgasm as my legs continue to shake and my cum coats her fingers and hands "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck" I whimper pulling her down ontop of me as she slides her fingers out and smirks bringing them to my lips "suck princess"

I moan and do as I'm told and suck her fingers swirling my tounge around causing her to moan "such a pretty site if it wasn't so late I'd make you cum over and over so I can hear those pretty little cries of pleasure but you need sleep babygirl " I smile and look into her eyes "I had no idea you where a top but fuck me it was hot I never let a girl top me but you turned me into a whimpering puddle" I say with a blush she smiles and pecks my lips whispering against my lips "because youre my good little girl" I moan and hide my face in her neck as she giggles and cuddles into me I turn on my side to look into her eyes "I can't believe that just happened I've found it so hard to control my feelings around you" I confess as I kiss her forehead "me to but I want to take you on a real date babe so tomorrow I'm taking you out" I smile and nod as we cuddle and I slowly drift off to sleep with a smile on my face as she tickles my back making me feel content.

AN: ok I'm not gonna lie I was supposed to post this and another yesterday so I apologise but I was out with friends all day for my birthday so completely forgot to finish it but I hope you enjoy I have another then ill start working on the part 2s and requests, hope everyone is good and remember stay hydrated babes haha word count 2k

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neowinestainedress · 2 years

Text

she gets the flowers | na jaemin

title: she gets the flowers

pairing: na jaemin x fem!oc/reader

genre: song-fic, childhood friends to fwb to lovers to exes, fluff, smut/suggestive, angst | requested and inspired by she gets the flowers by beth mccarthy

summary: the person you shared every moment of your life with could never betray you, right? That was what she thought before Jaemin proved that he could turn from her soulmate to the biggest source of her pain.

warnings: mentioned drinking and smoking underage, smut, mostly suggestive, oral sex (f receiving, a bit more explicit), angst, no cheating but still feelings of betrayal, attempted suicide (not really, but just in case)

words: 6.855k

a/n: first of all, i'm incredibly sorry this took so long but i was going crazy trying to come up with a plot because the song led me to a plot similar to traitor so that's why it took so long. But I'm happy with the result and i hope you'll like it too. warning: probably it's even sadder than my other angst fics so prepare the tissues, i guess???

There’s something beautiful in growing up together and sharing every day of your life with somebody. It’s a type of bond that nothing in the world can replicate.

That was her relationship with Jaemin. She and Jaemin had shared their entire life together. It wasn’t like they had a choice when their mothers that were best friends for ages, casually ended up pregnant at the same time and gave birth to them only two days apart. Being raised side by side even if they weren’t related was something they couldn’t escape. And without realizing it, they became such a big part of each other’s life that living without each other was hard.

They did everything together. All the dumb things you have to do at least once in your life. All their first times. All their heartbreaks, and joys. There wasn’t a single moment they didn’t share.

Despite this, they were different. Jaemin wasn’t exactly a bad boy, not like the bullies type, at least, but he was the most reckless of the two. Always getting her in trouble, while she tried hard to still be the good girl she always was.

“Jaemin, this is dumb,” she said, trying to stop him from climbing the roof of the store. That was the first time he took her there, only seventeen, the perfect age to try dumb things they couldn’t do.

“Is it?” He asked, his hand reaching for hers to help her get up.

She sighed before briefly looking around, making sure that nobody could see them and then followed him.

“You’re so damn hard to convince sometimes,” he whispered, lips puffing out as he let out the smoke of the cigarette he had stolen from his dad’s jacket, head inclined enough so he could look at her. The chill breeze of October blowing on them.

“And you’re reckless,” she huffed, resting her head on her knees, looking in front of her, they could see a small part of the neighborhood from there, and maybe it was worth the risk.

“Here,” he said, handing her a bottle of soju and she pushed his hand away. “Oh, come on, that’s not dumb.”

“You know I get drunk too easily, I will kill myself trying to climb down again.”

Jaemin chuckled, shaking his head, before turning off the cigarette and drinking the alcohol instead.

“The things I do for you,” he joked when he was done, moving closer to her, wrapping a hand around her shoulders. Her head leaned in immediately, cheeks brushing against the blue jacket he was wearing.

“That’s because you love me.”

“Yeah, I do,” he replied, leaving a peck on her forehead.

And that was so normal for them that they never truly weighted the words they said to each other. The ‘I love yous’ didn’t mean anything, just like it didn’t mean how they always held each other’s hands when they walked side by side, and always called each other for help.

It was normal, from the crib to when they went to high school and still looked at each other with the same old eyes. It was fine because they both had their own adventures, and they didn’t need each other for that.

Until something wasn’t enough anymore. Until they started to realize they couldn’t find each other in other people. That their beds were always going to be cold if at their side it wasn’t them.

They had no idea how their first kiss happened, or what exactly lead them there. After a long day at Uni, once again on that rooftop with the breeze freezing them. Hesitant lips getting closer, and shy eyes looking into each other, silently asking each other if it was worth it.

When their lips touched their questions were answered. It was. It was worth putting on a line all their years of friendships.

But they had the bad habit of never calling things with a name. That was their relationship since they were kids. It worked without trying.

But they seemed to forget they weren’t five or ten anymore. They were grown-ups. They should’ve talked, should’ve put a name on it, and set some rules. Anything to don’t end up in ashes.

But they didn’t and that kiss was followed by another. This time not so shy or full of fear. Their hands moved freely on their bodies, touching each other in ways they never imagined before. But once again it stopped there, as much as they were pulled by this force, the fear of taking a treacherous path was high.

Until things took a different turn again.

“Wasn’t expecting you here,” Jaemin said, opening the door of the apartment he shared with his friends.

“I’m so tired,” she huffed, kissing him quickly and then falling down on his couch, throwing her bag next to her. “I have two essays to turn in and I have no idea when I’ll write them.”

“Maybe you could start now,” he proposed, pointing at the books on the coffee table. “We could study together.”

“I don’t want to study,” she replied, crossing her arms on her chest.

Jaemin sat next to her, his hand caressing her cheek, making her turn around in surprise.

“I can help you though,” she stuttered, gulping, wanting to pull away from him but at the same time she just wanted to crave more at his touch. “Would never want to come between your studies.”

“We can do something funnier,” he proposed, and only then she turned around, seeing his eyes locked on her lips.

“This is another one of your dumb ideas,” she whispered.

“Is it?” He asked, same old smirk on his face that then turned into a smile that made her melt.

“We shouldn’t be doing this, you know it,” she mumbled, lying, knowing she was lying. Because she wanted it, she wanted that to happen for such a long time.

“Just this time,” he whispered, breath fanning against her lips. “Just once.”

But it hadn’t been just once.

It had happened over and over again.

“Jaemin, fuck.” The loud music was muffled in his room as the party downstairs kept going on. But her mind wasn’t there, it was focused on Jaemin’s face buried between her legs and his hands wrapped around her thighs as he ate her out while she stood against the wall. Too eager to even wait of getting on the bed or undressing her completely.

“You taste so good,” he mumbled pressed against her wet flesh, nose teasing her clit while his lips and tongue worked perfectly to bring her over the edge so soon.

“I’m close,” she breathed out, fingers intertwining in his hair, pulling hard as the orgasm made her tremble.

“Need you,” Jaemin muttered as soon as he pulled away, licking his lips before dragging her body on his bed. Their clothes were on the floor in a second and Jaemin’s hands ran all over her body.

“Quit playing and just fuck me,” she urged, hips grinding against him.

“You’re so impatient,” he groaned before leaning over the bedside table to grab a condom, ripping the wrap and rolling it down his length.

“If you didn’t tease me all night, maybe,” she said, spreading her legs more, waiting for him to slip inside her. “Shit, so good.”

Moans and whimpers got lost in the night as the party went on downstairs without their care, too busy burning into each other’s flames and lying into ashes on the bed as what was going on between them grew bigger and bigger every day.

There’s something extremely painful about one-sided love. And it only gets worst when the person that gets you weak in the knees is your best friend.

She should’ve known it was a dumb idea. She should’ve stopped it before it even started but by now it was too late. She was too deep into that. And she was once again half naked in Jaemin’s bed, getting drunk in a pleasure that wasn’t enough to water the pain any longer.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she snapped, standing up, pushing his body away, and trying to look for her clothes again.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked, grabbing his boxer just to cover himself the quicker he could and reaching her.

She sighed, slipping on herself his shirt, lifting her head up to push down the tears. “No, I… it’s my fault,” she confessed, turning around again, looking for her pants but the tears in her eyes made it impossible for her to see. And the salty drops filled her eyes even more when she felt Jaemin’s arms wrap around her.

“Hey, calm down,” he whispered, turning her around, her head falling in the crook of his neck as she let him lull her, his hands caressing her back. “It’s alright, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not,” she mumbled through sobs. “I can’t keep having you like this without truly having you.”

Jaemin was surprised by her words and pulled away to stare at her face. “You mean the sex?”

She nodded, the palm of her hand wiping away her tears. “I thought my heart was safe but I love you. And I know you don’t love me back, I know this was just… just the easiest thing we could do but I – I love you so much. I’ve been loving you for too long without knowing,” she sobbed. “And I know you don’t feel the same –”

“Who said that?” Jaemin stopped her immediately.

“I know.”

“You know? And based on what?”

When she didn’t answer he shook his head. “You think I treat all my other friends the way I treat you? You think I stay up all night to study with somebody else? You think I prepare them tea? You think that if it was just sex I’d let you stay over every time and let you sleep on my chest? You think I’d make your breakfast? You think I’d let you borrow my clothes?”

“Isn’t this what we… isn’t this what we did even when we were just friends? How can I tear this apart?”

Jaemin sighed, nodding, “I don’t know…” he whispered. The lines of their relationship had always been blurry. All the years their friends told them they acted like a couple. All the years their family told them the same thing. All the times they wondered what they were. They simply never had the courage to say it out loud, but now that all the lines were crossed they couldn’t keep playing that game anymore.

“I feel good with you, and I love you,” Jaemin said. “I love you so much,” he replied, cupping her cheeks in his hand, and her heart skipped a beat at his words. “And if you love me back maybe we could give this a try?”

And she said yes. Of course, she did. She had been waiting for this moment for so long that she felt on cloud nine.

Jaemin, her best friend, the perfect man she always wanted to have at her side, was finally her boyfriend.

The perfect man.

That was what she thought.

That was what Jaemin was when he was her best friend.

And he was like that even for the first year they dated.

He was thoughtful, energetic, and responsible and the list of all the compliments she could give him could go on and on. He was the same Jaemin she used to know, the one she always loved, as a friend, as a lover.

And their story was going so well that they even started to look for a small apartment together when the second year of University ended and moved in before summer was over.

“Stop playing around, Nana,” she warned him, pointing the brush on his face, trying to squirm away from him.

“Come on, it’s just some paint,” he laughed, successfully staining her face with the light blue of their bedroom.

“What did you just do?” She glared at him before coloring his face too, making him laugh. “You want war and I’ll give it to you.”

And that was another afternoon spent playing around, paint ending everywhere but on the walls, leaving them lying on the floor breathless before they decided that it was better to wrap it up and go take a shower.

And the new house led to thousands of shopping dates to pick up the furniture, and everything else they needed. Long days running around ended in cozy nights spent together on their couch eating food while their place started to form around them, walls filling up, smelling and looking like them more and more with each passing day.

The last two years of University passed like that, in their place, with their usual routine, with new memories and joys. Inviting friends over, wasting Saturdays doing nothing but cuddling up in their living room, or taking care of the plants that filled their home.

They slept and woke up, looking at each other, always more sure that they were meant to be each other’s future.

Until something broke.

Jaemin was distant.

It wasn't a clear break, one day the sweetest, most loving person ever and the next one a cold, heartless one. It was slow, like the grains of sanding passing from one side to another of an hourglass. Slipping out of her hands just like sand.

Every time she tried to plan something, he always came up with something he had to do. She didn’t want to call them excuses, but at this point, she couldn’t name them in any other way.

And it wasn’t only that, it looked like he had stopped paying her attention at all, whether she wanted it for dumb reasons or even serious ones.

“We have to call the landlord,” she reminded him from the kitchen, turning around to see that he was once again on the couch, doing nothing on the phone.

“Jaemin,” she called him, leaning against the door frame, glaring at him.

“Yeah? You wanted me?”

“I was talking to you,” she replied.

“I wasn’t listening,” he mumbled, putting the phone away.

“Yeah, I can see it,” she sighed, turning around again.

“What did you want?” He asked, and even if she didn’t turn around she knew he was in the kitchen too.

“Nothing, I can do it myself.”

Jaemin huffed, “so you can be mad at me because I didn’t do it?”

She chuckled. “You never do what I ask you do.”

“Here we go again,” he replied, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“Yes, I’ll say it again because we can’t keep going on like this. We have to call the landlord because he’s raising the rent of this house again. Our place. I don’t know if you get it that you live here, too.”

“I know. I’ll call him. You think that will make him stop? It’s been two years since we live here, and he does it every time.”

“You didn’t even answer your mother about Sunday.”

“Do you really want to go there?”

She sighed, studying his face with a shocked expression. “It’s your mom? And it’s to spend time together.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? On Sunday?”

“I have... a thing to do…”

“A thing? And what is that?” She tilted her head, trying to meet his gaze but Jaemin was avoiding it.

“Need to help Renjun with something. Boring things you don’t care about,” he cut short, and she furrowed, but she had no strength to dig deeper and maybe end up in a fight.

They fought too often lately. They had started to bicker over the smallest things, screaming at each other, drifting away, and crying over spilled milk. And that was fucking her up.

She felt like she couldn’t keep going on like this, but every time she tried to talk with him, Jaemin always slipped from her fingers or she couldn’t find the mental energy to go all the way.

It was just a moment. It surely had to be like that. Maybe it was the stress from work, or those normal crises couples went through.

But to Jaemin it wasn’t a moment.

“I want to break up.”

And then those words arrived. They hit her like a thunder in the middle of a storm. While sitting in front of each other at the table of their house he was finding the bravery to put an end to them.

“I can’t keep lying to myself anymore,” Jaemin confessed, eyes lowering because he couldn’t stand looking into hers. His best friends. The person he learned to walk with. The person he almost shared his birthday with. The person that saw him at his lowest. “I think I mistook the habit of having you by my side for love.”

Her whole world fell apart. She had so many things to say, questions to ask, but not a sound could come out of her mouth.

“I don’t love you. I’m not even sure I ever did. Not like this, at least. Not like you want me to love you.”

Some moments of silence passed after his confession as they stared into each other’s eyes. Jaemin trying to imagine a reaction, hoping it was going to be different from the ones he pictured while preparing for this. Her trying to see a glimpse of a joke, a terrible and cruel one, but a joke.

But she knew him too well and his eyes, his beautiful, once warm, brown eyes there was no sign of a joke. He meant it. Jaemin meant every word.

“You never loved me?” She asked, voice trembling, eyes watery.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? You’re telling me I just wasted more than two years of my life by your side and you don’t know?”

“It’s not my fault, I… I thought I did before I met someone else and maybe… maybe this is not love. My heart doesn’t beat the same. I don’t know.”

“So there’s also somebody else!” She screamed. “After all that I gave up for you! You couldn’t realize this a little bit earlier? Before I gave up my job in London for you? Before I put all my savings in this place for us to share? Before I gave up going to New York for the master?”

Jaemin didn’t answer, he didn’t even look at her. He couldn’t stand the look on her face, he was used to wiping it away, to kiss it away, but now he was the one that caused it.

“I… fuck,” she cursed, throwing her head back to push back tears. “I could’ve had so much more and I never did all because of you, because I thought I had love and you’re telling me all these years had been a lie? I ruined my life for you and you can’t even love me. No, you can’t even look at me while you’re telling me this big news.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, eyes meeting her just for a split second.

“Sure, this is going to fix everything,” she chuckled bitterly. “Tell me what she has that I don’t!”

“Don’t do this.”

“Don’t do this? Seriously? I want to know. I deserve to know because you… you can’t just leave me like this.”

“I’m not leaving like this,” he tried to explain. “I thought about it for so long.”

“Why am I so hard to love?” She cried, but it was more of a thought to herself, getting up to walk back and forth because she felt all the emotions pile up and she needed to let them go somehow.

“You are not hard to love. I love you, just not like that.”

“Just shut the fuck up! I don’t care how you love me, I don’t want you to love me like that. Shut up!” Her whole body was shaking, tears flooding down her face, her head was about to explode, and probably her heart too.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying it, stop it!”

Jaemin sighed, he never imagine it would come to this. Honestly, he had no idea how else she could’ve reacted, but there must’ve been a good side to this, right? “I don’t know when it happened, I just realized it now. Isn’t it better like this? It’s over now and we can both move on.”

“Sure,” she replied, holding in a bitter chuckle. “It’s so easy for you. She’s already waiting at home, right? Waiting for you, being everything you always wanted. Something I will never be.”

“She doesn’t know. There’s nothing going on between us.”

“I hope she makes you happy,” she replied, eyes closing so hard that tears rolled down her cheeks faster while her hand rested against the wall, trying to calm her breathing down. “I hope her eyes look better than they shine. I hope her lips taste sweeter than mine. I hope she looks prettier when she cries. I hope she won’t be so hard to handle.”

Jaemin walked toward her, trying to hold her in his arms but she glared at him and it was enough to make him take a step back.

“Leave,” she only whispered, taking a deep breath, trying to don’t pay attention to the tears that were making her look more and more pathetic. “You don’t want me, Jaemin. And I can’t change your mind. I can’t force you here. I already ruined enough of your life with this.”

“You didn’t ruin my life, please. You will always be my best friend.”

She couldn’t hold in the loud sob that rolled out of her mouth when he said that and her body crashed against the wall again.

“I hate you so much,” she screamed, shaking and sniffling. “You — you should’ve told me this so long ago. I hate you so much,” she repeated, bending and holding her stomach, wishing she knew a way to make this pain stop. “I would’ve rather lost the sex with you than — than be — ugh,” she sobbed, completely falling on the floor.

Jaemin was frozen, his heart was broken too. He would’ve never wanted to be the reason for her tears, or for her pain, especially for this pain. Seeing her body shake, her face a mess of tears and mascara and her chest panting uncontrollably as she gasped for air.

“I didn’t do this on purpose,” he whispered because he had no idea what to tell her. How to make her believe that if he made up his feelings before he would’ve told her sooner.

“I know,” she replied, not looking at him. “But… leave, please. I can’t — I can’t do this… I can’t be this close to you. I — I… Leave.”

And he did, walking to their bedroom he grabbed some of his things for the night and left. He tried to meet her eyes before closing the door behind him, but she was huddled up on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably and the only thing he could do after turning her in that state, was to leave her some space.

When the sound of the door closing reached her ears, she started crying louder, fingers clenching too hard around her hair and pulling too much, trying to feel some physical pain because the emotional one was unbearable.

That wasn’t fair.

That was nothing of what she had planned for the night, or for the weekend, or for their lives.

And she couldn’t even think why she wasn’t enough, why he didn’t cast her in the show of his life forever. She could only think about all the wasted times and how now she could’ve been anywhere else in the world, with a job that made her ten times happier, with somebody that truly loved her and still with Jaemin at his side, still her childhood best friend, still the little teenage boy that made her laugh, still the college pal that spent nights up with her.

But Jaemin now turned into a nightmare. He was somebody that she didn’t know.

Jaemin was the source of her biggest pain and that was a kind of hurt she didn’t know how to deal with.

She felt sick.

Sick to the stomach.

So, still crying, and sobbing, she crawled on the floor, tired body making its way to the bathroom, feeling like she was carrying around a ton too heavy to handle. And she threw up, everything she could’ve, and finding the strength to lift her hand and flush was hard. Just like it was to get up when her heart and stomach hurt so much and she felt like she could barely breathe.

“I’m so pathetic,” she whispered through sobs while she laid curled up on the floor, thinking it couldn’t be possible to react that way, that a break-up couldn’t be the end of the world, that a betrayal like this couldn’t be the end of the world. And yet it felt exactly like that. And she had no strength to get up or drag her body to the bed, their bed, so she fell asleep there, exhausted, heartbroken, and humiliated.

It wasn’t going to be the end of the world.

But right there, it felt like the end of the universe.

Dealing with what came after hadn’t been easy. Seeing Jaemin’s face again hadn’t been easy. But that still was his place, and his friends couldn’t just make room for him in their houses out of nowhere. So they still had to share their everyday life for a week before Renjun found a way to let him squeeze into his house, a temporary solution to give him time to find a new place.

But dealing with his absence wasn’t easy either. Every day when she came home the house was a little emptier. All the things they bought together. All the things she had seen in his room at his parent’s place, then in his college room, and now here. Gone. Gone just like him.

Jaemin had tried to talk to her several times, but she never answered, unless it was really necessary, and when she did the only words were ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or small phrases.

She was angry. Furious even. So much she feared she was going to go insane. Because the pain was pressing her to the floor and she felt like she was about to explode. But that wasn’t her, that was a part of her that was hurt and devastated. And as much as Jaemin deserved it, she didn’t want to regret any dumb action, so she took a step back. Hoping he was going to leave her alone as soon as possible and then she would’ve healed by herself.

And it took her at least one month to get back on her feet. She didn’t even feel pain, she felt empty, and for some reason, it was worst. She had no emotions to deal with, to feel and then analyze, no root of a pain to reach to break it apart.

She spent her evenings sitting on a corner of the sofa, looking at the wall, feeling like she was going insane. Her friends tried to make her go out, get her mind off of it, but she had no strength. She was falling into a withdrawal.

“What is this?” She asked her mother while she went through the mail, an envelope that was too elegant to be normal mail catching her eyes. She had started to come back to her parent’s house during the weekend to don’t feel so lonely because that place screamed Jaemin from every corner and she couldn’t deal with it. During the week she was too wrecked from work to let him drag her down, but the weekends were the worst.

“What, honey? It must be the usual stuff,” her mother replied not even turning around, too busy crocheting a blanket.

She wanted to leave it there, but something inside her told her to open it.

“Are you kidding me?” She whispered, blinking her eyes twice to make sure she wasn’t going insane. “He’s getting married?” Her eyes were still on that piece of paper with her name written on it. “He’s getting married and he invited me?”

When her eyes fell on her mother her heart broke even more. “You — you knew?” the words were shaking coming out of her mouth and her eyes got wetter.

“Honey, I’m —”

“Don’t call me honey,” she warned her sternly, feeling like that pet name was mocking her even more. “You knew?”

“I’m still friends with his mom, you know what’s between us, of course, I did,” she confessed, placing the wool next down on the armchair and walking toward her daughter but she stepped back. “I wasn’t planning on giving it to you.”

“Why did he invite me? Does he think — does he think we can still be friends after all the pain he caused to me?” Her back met the wall and it was getting harder to breathe.

He was getting married.

Na Jaemin, her best friend for life, her first love, her first real relationship, the one she gave up so much for, was getting married two months after they broke up.

“His mother did the invitations. You know it’s hard for us to see you like this. We just wish you would solve this.”

“Solve this?” She almost screamed, staring at her mother in disbelief. “Solve what? The broken heart he threw to the ground and stepped on? I gave him my life, mom, I did things for him — I… I would’ve died for him and he tells me he never loved me. These past three years had been a lie, he was with me just because I was there, ready to crawl at his side, I was just a habit he was too afraid to lose and he had to tie me to him somehow until I became too much and he kicked me out of his life. How can I go past this? Why do I always have to be the one that lets people run over her?”

“I didn’t mean that, but you two have been through so much. I don’t understand how —”

“Yeah, you don’t understand,” she replied bitterly before grabbing her things and walking out of the house, not listening to her mother begging to make her stay.

She had no idea how she made it home with the tears fogging her eyes and her heart split into million pieces more than it already was. But once she crossed the door she let out the most broken scream of her life, bending in two in front of the door, letting her body fall on the floor, screaming and crying, regretting all her life choices, wondering how the person she trusted the most in the whole world could’ve turned into her biggest enemy.

Jaemin, the one that had her back when she did something wrong. The one that helped her stood up every time she fell. The one that kissed the pain away when she fell off the bike or from the swing. Her soulmate had backstabbed her, over and over again.

“I don’t deserve this,” she shouted, resting her back against the hard door, head rolled back as she tried to let her lungs breathe in more air because she felt like she was dying. “I don’t deserve all this pain.”

But she had nobody to talk to, nobody was there to hug her or calm her down, nobody to whisper in her ears that eventually, one day, everything would’ve been better.

Nobody was there to tell her that one day she would’ve got that love she deserved.

Because the love she deserved was reserved for somebody else.

And she shouldn’t have added more pain to her suffering, but her hands quickly reached for her phone and opened Instagram.

And there they were.

“Forever and always” as the caption of their hands, two beautiful rings on their fingers. And swiping left another picture, their cheeks pressed against each other, smiling widely as the wind blew the hair in front of their faces.

The exact picture she had of them on her lock screen, but now that she thought about it, after months of thinking that was one of their best photos, she realized that Jaemin’s cheek wasn’t so close to hers.

And there were so many posts on Instagram, both of their feeds were full of each other with cheesy captions and emojis. Things he never, ever did for her.

She broke down again, feeling her heart twist in her ribcage.

She had spent months trying to convince herself that Jaemin had fallen out of love in the last months. That it had happened, that it was just bad luck and they weren’t meant to last.

But looking back at it now, thinking about how easily he had moved on and what kind of love he was reserving for her, the sad truth crashed her to the ground.

Jaemin had never fallen in love with her.

They weren’t supposed to meet again, but she couldn’t say ‘no’ when her mother invited her to the usual spring party she threw the first week of April.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you here,” Jaemin mumbled when they crashed against each other. “I was looking for a thing in my… my jacket,” he explained since they were both in the guest room.

She was frozen. She wanted to leave. She should’ve left because she came there mainly to avoid him. She couldn’t stand seeing him and her all over each other, their hands intertwined, his lips always on her cheeks or lips, his fingers gently grazing her hair back.

“Are you okay?” He asked when tears started streaming down her face. It had been months since he had last seen her and he never imagined she was doing this badly, she barely looked like herself anymore.

She didn’t even notice she had started crying, it happened so often lately that she didn’t even pay attention to it anymore.

“Never been better,” she replied sarcastically, but her feet still couldn’t find the strength to move past him and walk out.

“I didn’t know about what my mom did, I would’ve stopped her,” he said.

She chuckled bitterly. “You think that the problem is being invited? You think that the mere fact of you marrying someone else after two months of our break up isn’t heartbreaking enough?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She nodded. “I know, I know. We never want to hurt others, and just because it wasn’t on purpose the others shouldn’t feel hurt or betrayed, right? It’s always an honest mistake. Oops, I slipped. Oops, I didn’t do it on purpose. I casually stuck ten knives in your chest but I never thought you would bleed and die on the floor, please, forgive me.” Her tone wasn’t high but bitter, full of a type of anger Jaemin never heard before.

“Let’s not do this right now,” Jaemin said. “There are people.”

“Yeah, you care so much about what they might think. You don’t even care about all the pain you put me through. How much this hurt and how much you, your mother and mine are slapping your happiness at my expense on my face.”

“You shouldn’t have come here.”

“I shouldn’t have? She’s my mom. This is my parents’ house. Not yours. You should’ve been thoughtful enough to say no when she invited you, to take your fucking distances from my family but no, this is so much better. You love seeing me miserable. You love knowing I’m not getting over you, that for me there will never be getting over you. Probably you get off to my pain.”

“Don’t say things that are not true. I didn’t know you were coming, I wouldn’t have come.”

“I don’t even get how my mom let her in, why she’s so supportive of you as if… as if you’re not the reasons I’m struggling to make it to the next day. Why does nobody care about me? Why is she still all over you? Why can’t she see it? Why can’t she realize you’re not the kind, little boy I used to spend my morning, afternoon and evening with?”

“She’s just happy for me…”

“Right, you’re happy, your family is happy. She’s happy, happier than I’ve ever been. You found your person, and there’s nothing I can do about it. And I’m so happy about it. Congratulation for being happy, for finding love, for — fuck,” she cursed. “I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy that she’s getting all the love I deserved to have.”

“Don’t do this.”

“No, I’m truly happy. I’m so happy that she gets the flowers, the boxes of chocolate, the nights out to stargaze, the marriage proposal, the new house, maybe even a dog or a child.”

“Are you mad because I love her?”

“I’m mad because she gets the love I deserved. The love that I gave you.” It was hard to say it out loud and in front of him but she was so mad, so frustrated that everybody there acted as if she was the problem or the overdramatic one.

“She gets the posts made about her, she gets the flowers, she gets a perfect love that you never gave to me. You never loved me. All these years were a fucking lie, Jaemin. You lied to me. I gave you my everything. I was so open to you, I showed you my true colors and what I got back? A fucking play. You were playing a part. I have no idea who I had by my side in the last three years. And I’ve known you before we could even talk.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t… I can’t choose who I love.”

“I don’t care. I got excuses, Jaemin. You got to use this, to use me. You left me in the dust with nothing and then walked away as if it was nothing. As if I was nothing,” she screamed, fist clenching around his shirt before letting go because she couldn’t stand to stay this close to him.

“Was I too hard to handle? Was I too emotionally unstable? What was wrong with me that — that didn’t make you love me? Why don’t you love me? Why don’t you want me?”

“Because you’re not her,” Jaemin snapped, their eyes locking into each other, hearts breaking again. Hers because she never imagined he could hurt her that bad. Again. Over the same wound. Healing and bleeding. Closing and ripping open. And his because he never wanted to hurt her that bad. Jaemin truly didn’t want this to end like this. And he couldn’t stand the emptiness he could see in her eyes as they stared into his and felt like nothing of what they used to feel.

They weren’t home anymore. And this was the cruellest reminder.

Her feet moved back, heels almost dripping on the floor and lips shaking. She gulped, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, nodding as she felt the air dim in her lungs again.

“You’re right,” she whispered, looking through the clothes to grab her jacket before putting it on and storming outside.

Jaemin should’ve let her go but he knew that when she acted like this she was out of herself.

“Where are you going? It’s dangerous to drive like this,” he screamed, running after her, cursing because he didn’t want to make a scene but he still cared about her.

“Why do you act like you care? You don’t give a damn about me. Just — just stop this,” she replied, slamming the front door, walking fast to her car, falling apart when she turned around and he wasn’t there. His fiancée had stopped him, probably asking what was going on and he was lying, coming up with something that wasn’t related to her, because she wasn’t worth a fight between him and the love of his life, and he walked back to the garden, once again forgetting about her.

Driving in those conditions was a terrible idea, but she wanted to go home and the idea of death didn’t sound so sad or scary.

Dying for love was such a dumb thing.

But she couldn’t keep her eyes on the road, her hands couldn’t control the wheel, shaking too hard. And when she lost control, when the car ran off the road and death grazed her, she wondered if it went in another way, if destiny wouldn’t have been so gentle to keep her alive if she would’ve gotten the flowers on her tombstones.

But she wasn’t underground, she was alive, hurt, next to her car, crying her eyes out to a love that was never meant to be.

She couldn’t know what would’ve happened if things went the other way. But of one thing, she was sure.

Someone else was getting the flowers and would’ve always got them.

And that someone, wasn’t her.

I hope you liked it! Please let me know with comments, reblogs or asks!!

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