#i also noticed some prominent guys never got it over the course of last season | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

robinofinashiro · 3 years

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“look, i know we don’t know each other that well, but i’m still worried about you. no one deserves to be alone.”

characters: hoshiumi kourai x fem! reader / slight miya atsumu

request status: OPEN / please send any reqs you guys have! my inbox is currently empty and im lacking in any kind of writing inspiration...like seriously lacking lmao. there could be a part two if any of you are interested in one.

you looked at your now ex boyfriend, trying to keep your tears at bay. the two of you were standing outside the bar, not knowing what you were planning on saying the man you loved as you saw him with a girl on his lap, laughing and giggling at whatever he was saying.

“you could’ve just broken up with me, it would have saved me time and effort,” you told him with a stone cold face. you could tell Atsumu was in a straight panic, not knowing what to say or do, “honestly, I would have handled the break up a lot better than you would have assumed I would have.”

Atsumu reached out to grab your hand but you quickly snatched it back, putting it behind your back, “no, you don’t get the right to hold any part of me anymore. whatever you were doing, do it with the girl you were just with,” you exclaimed, a laugh of bitterness leaving you, “but I don’t want that girl, I want you!” he yelled.

you rolled your eyes, not believing a word he was saying, “no, you wanted a girl to fuck with on the side while I waited for you at home. you’re just angry you got caught, Miya, that’s all,” you stated. Atsumu felt stray tears falling down his face as you noticed a familiar face with snow white hair popping out of the front of the door.

“as wrong as this is to say, I was always preparing myself for this. my grandmother always said to have a envelope of cash and money as runaway money in case I ever needed to get away...” you played with you finger nails before looking up to him for one final time, “I’ll be moved out in a few days. the apartment is under your name and I don’t mind getting a new place,” you added on.

Atsumu saw you walking away, not believing that you were actually leaving him. he grabbed your ankle, practically putting on a scene for everyone who was hanging out in the front of the building, “Atsumu, this is embarrassing for you. quit it while you still have some dignity left, jesus christ,” you said not realizing the mantrum that he was throwing, “you really should’ve thought this all out before you decided to cheat. I always had one rule and you knew it. I could quickly replace you as fast as we got together and this was your one chance.”

you kicked yourself out of his grip, walking into the bar to have yourself a drink. you saw the girl who was on Atsumu’s lap not wanting to look you in the eye as she sat on her chair in shame, “enjoy him girlie because as you can tell, he’ll quickly replace you when he gets bored,” you tipped your glass of dark liquor to her in a ‘good luck’ type of way before finding an empty seat.

that familiar snow white hair you saw earlier happened to be Hoshiumi who was walking towards you. you being the former Inarizaki manager made you know the names to the most popular players from each team they played so Hoshiumi was no stranger.

“hey,” you heard his voice say over the music. you gave him a smile with a small wave, not wanting to say, “you okay? I accidentally overheard your situation with Atsumu earlier,” he asked, pulling the seat out from the other side of the table.

you shrugged knowing that all the raw emotions from the argument and what you just had saw hadn’t settled in yet, “I don’t know,” you said truthfully, “my boyfriend of three years was cheating on me and if I’m okay right now, I know I won’t be tomorrow,” you explained.

Hoshiumi nodded understandingly, “do you mind if I sit with you for the rest of the night?” he asked quietly, in a sort of shy way, which was odd considering Hoshiumi was just as hyperactive as Hinata Shoyo from Karasuno way. “look, i know we don’t know each other that well, but i’m still worried about you. no one deserves to be alone.”

you felt that pang in your heart as you saw the warmness on Hoshiumi’s smile. you tried to contain your tears as best as you could but Hoshiumi saw right through that. he tracked down the waitress and ordered the two of you another round of drinks, your choice of course as he tried to focus the conversation on anything that wasn’t Atsumu or your breakup.

from that night forward, Hoshiumi was by your side for the entirety of your breakup. he was of help when you needed an extra hand to move all your things out of your shared apartment with Atsumu.

it didn’t sit right with Atsumu at the fact that Hoshiumi was seemingly close to you all of a sudden. he had saw him that night at the bar but he didn’t think he would take advantage of the situation and so quickly. never once in the entirety of your relationship with Atsumu did you ever mention befriending Hoshiumi and so closely but seeing the way he was helping you move out and making sure you were okay threw him way the hell off.

once you were finished taking your things out of the apartment, you looked to Atsumu and wiggled the set of keys that were on your keychain out. you gave him one last look before handing them to him, “so I take it that you won’t accept the job with the Jackals?” he asked.

“I think you know that answer, Miya.”

you walked out of the apartment, leaving a teary eyed Atsumu at the door as Hoshiumi waited for you at the front of the building. your place a few minutes farther from Atsumu’s place. it wasn’t as nice of a place in comparison to how you used to live but it would do until you found a job.

“what are you plans now?” Hoshiumi asked as he helped you unpack things from the box. you shrugged again, “I really don’t know. Atsumu had gotten me a job with the Jackals and those were plans for quite a while but considering that relationship is long gone, I guess I really have to start looking for a job before I go broke.”

Hoshiumi laughed, feeling his phone buzz multiple times. he looked down to see a few texts from Ushijima and Kageyama. to your luck, the Adlers had also gotten a job opening for a few positions with a team. Hoshiumi had mentioned to the team that he knew someone that could possibly take the position of the old manager and they had been grilling him about it since.

the pre-season was about to start and they needed an experienced manager and quick. considering your qualifications with Inarizaki and the degree you got in college, he knew you would do well on the job and all you would need is a bit of polishing up in order to be great if not even better than their former manager.

“listen, I don’t know how willing you will be to accept what I’m about to say but Schweiden has an opening for a positions and one of them is to be the team’s manager and assistant. I might’ve pushed your name because I know you’ve done the managerial position before and we need a manager as soon as possible.”

your eyes doubled down in confusion as Hoshiumi showed you the hiring paper. you quickly skimmed it down seeing that you had the qualifications for the job. you saw that it was a text from Kageyama Tobio that read if you had accept the position yet before their coach killed them.

“wait, how long would I be there?” you asked, gripping his phone. you looked at you, now slightly confused himself, “what do you mean? you’d be there as long as you want or until you quit. the position is permanent.” you read the application again and smiled, “I just got this place but tell them I’ll be available for an interview at any time.”

Hoshiumi tackled you into a hug, his hyperactive attitude running rampant again, “THANK YOU! THANK YOU! the team is gonna be so happy, I know it!” he exclaimed, quickly dialing his coaches number as you sat there, taking in your all new reality.

after a run through of a few interviews, the Adler’s ultimately gave you the position as their manager and assistant. they found you the most suitable as you had experience under your belt and got along with most of the team. well...as best as you could considering Kageyama and Ushijima weren’t really the talkative type to begin with.

the move to Tokyo was a bit easier than expected. Hoshiumi quickly helping you into your new apartment as he showed you around the Adler’s gym and even the town when he wasn’t busy. you had your own office since you were assisting the team’s coach with a few office related things but most of your duties were strictly to the team.

with your new job came new team photo’s for the year as well as your organizations employee id photo. your uniform consisted of black leggings or athletic shorts if Tokyo was particularly hot that day and a Schweiden sweater/t-shirt on game day. on non-game days where you had to be in your office, the general uniform was business casual unless it was Friday’s where you could wear your game day uniform.

the team photo day was around the corner and the Adler’s even had a few professional makeup artist for anyone who wanted to have their makeup done for the photos. Hoshiumi and to your surprise, Kageyama, landed in the makeup chairs right next to you as they both wanted to be concealed so their under eye bags weren’t as prominent.

“you ready for the pics?” Hoshiumi asked with an excited smile. you nodded just as excitedly, “working in volleyball again feels so weird but I can’t wait for the season to start!” you exclaimed as Hoshiumi gave you a high-five in agreement.

unbeknownst to you but known to the entire team, Hoshiumi had fell entirely head over heels for you. his heart eyes weren’t a secret to anyone besides you and if everyone was being honest, they really wanted Hoshiumi to get a move on with asking you out so he could stop coming to practice with a lovesick puppy look on his face.

after all of you were called to the gym to take the photos, they had all the players and coaching staff take their photos first before any managers and front office staff had their turns. while you waited for your turn, you were talking with the other manager so was an ex player of the team and had recently retired due to permanent injury to his arm.

“so how do you know Hoshiumi?” he asked as he saw the wave Hoshiumi was giving you. you smiled and waved back, “he was a friend of mine through high school and we just kept in contact since. Kourai and I are basically best friends if I’m being honest,” you explained.

he gave you a look before giving out a belly laugh, “just best friends? you have to got to be kidding. there’s more to your relationship with Hoshiumi than just best friends,” he admitted. you were a bit taken back by his answer as you asked him to explain, “come on, it’s not obvious? the decoy is in love with you. he follows you everywhere and has heart eyes for you and I can sense the feeling either is mutual or it’s starting to be on your end.”

you sat in silence, debating whether or not what he was saying was true. you had never taken into account romantic feelings Hoshiumi could have for you and vice versa. you knew deep down, you did harbor feelings for Hoshiumi but up until this point, you had never put it to the forefront of your brain.

“managers! it’s your turns now!” the photographer said. you nodded, going up to the small set up they had.

they had you do a bunch of different poses. one photo of just you smiling, another of you holding a volleyball, and a few with the other manager on the team. they had informed you that this year, they would be displaying team player photos along with head manager photos in the front of building, right outside of the gym to show appreciation to the entire team.

after the photo’s were finished, your head was still playing the conversation you had earlier. the idea of dating Hoshiumi did not sound so bad in the long run and you knew that it now wouldn’t come off as a surprise if you did in fact show feelings to him.

“Kou, what are you doing tonight?” you asked as he helped you with your bag after practice. he shook his head, saying nothing, “wanna come over? I wanna pig out on food before the season officially starts,” you giggled seeing his excited face as he grabbed your wrist and practically dragged you over to his car, exclaiming you both could get food and snacks.

the night came down to you watching a few movies from both of your childhood and basically talking/snacking the night away. it eventually got to the point where you moved closer to Hoshiumi, trying to find warmth as your AC was on full blast and you both were too lazy to get the blankets you had underneath your couch to actually get warm.

“hey Kou,” you said, trying to get his attention. he looked down to you, a warm smile on his face, “would you ever...be interested in dating? I heard a few members of the team saying that you liked me and for a while, I didn’t want to believe that but I figured there was no harm in asking because I totally feel the same,” you finally confessed.

Hoshiumi sat there, mouth wide in surprise as your heart basically fell your ass. your thoughts were immediately plagued with the idea that you had ruined your entire relationship with him but that was quickly put to rest as grabbed your closer and held your face as softly as ever before placing a kiss on both your cheeks before reaching your lips.

“honestly, I was about to ask you out tonight too. I’ve been having these feelings for a while now and I’m glad you finally confessed. I’ve truthfully liked you since the night I saw you with Atsumu but I didn’t want to make it seem as though I was being pushy.”

you laughed, pushing yourself away from him a bit as he dipped you down once again and kissed you again. you ran your fingers through his hair as he kissed your neck a bit and parts of your upper chest.

“you’re the best. I literally thought the best day of my life was the day I got the job for the Adler’s but this beats it by far!” he exclaimed, hugging you now. you laughed, shaking your head at his excitement, “I could say the same,” you giggled as you kissed him again.

a few weeks finally passed as the season was in full swing now. you were working a few days a week and going out on the days you had off with Kourai. the only dreadful part in all of this was that the Adler’s were playing Msby soon and you knew that you would in fact be seeing Atsumu during, before, and after the game.

Hoshiumi could see the slight nervousness and panic on your face the day of the game against the Black Jackals. you weren’t as excited as you were usually were and you were responding to the team in snippets and very short sentences. the team could sense your shift in attitude but didn’t bother to question it.

“hey, you okay?” Hoshiumi asked, pulling you to the side a few minutes before warm ups. you gave him a questioning look, “I can see you’re nervous and I’m pretty sure it’s probably because of Atsumu being here,” he assumed as you reluctantly agreed.

he sighed, bringing you in for a hug, “you don’t have to work today. I can make up an excuse that you got sick and say you’re in your office watching the game,” he said. you shook your head, “no, it would be immature of me to miss a game because of that fucking idiot. I’ll be okay, I promise,” you whispered, giving him a kiss of reassurance before letting him go.

a few feet behind, Atsumu had saw the entire interaction happen. his heart was admittedly broken, seeing the way you were kissing and hugging Hoshiumi. he hadn’t known that you were working with Scheweiden nor did he know that you were even dating Hoshiumi.

when the team had walked into the gym, he had saw your photo in the hallway entering the gym. your smile was one he missed and he felt himself get angry all over again. it had been months since the breakup but you had yet to unblock him from any social media so all of this news at once broke him.

the game was a lot more intense than they assumed it would have been. Hoshiumi and Atsumu playing to 100% and even getting into small scuffles. you had saw the interactions and knew it was probably because of you but were arguing when it came down to plays so it didn’t look as immature on the court.

ultimately, Schweiden won the game, beating the Jackal’s by a landslide in their last set. you were smiling at Hoshiumi as the game ended, bringing him a water and giving him a kiss before handing off the waters to Ushijima and Kageyama next. you had ran out of the gym for a few seconds to refill waters for a few players when you ran into the last person you expect.

“if you can excuse me Miya, I need to refill these,” you said, not even looking at him in the eye. he moved out of the way, seeing thew way you refilled the bottles as quickly as possible. once you were done, you were about to head back into the gym when he stopped you, “how are you?” he asked shyly.

you sighed, “fine Miya,” you said curtly. Atsumu growled in annoyance, “are you together with-,” “with me!” you heard Hoshiumi’s voice scream through the hall. you smiled at the sight of him as he pushed you behind him and sizing up the much taller Atsumu.

“this had nothing to do with you, Hoshiumi.”

“oh but it does! she’s my girlfriend, our manager, and a member of the team so whatever you need to say to her, you can say to me!” you laughed at Hoshiumi’s confidence as Atsumu looked at him, rage filling his eyes, “what? what’re you gonna do? hit me? you’d get suspended and look like a complete idiot to the entire V-league!”

“do we have an issue?” Ushijima asked, looking at Atsumu and Hoshiumi as Sakusa followed him, “no issue at all,” Atsumu gritted as Hoshiumi wore a proud grin on his face.

“that’s great to hear. come on ( your name ). Hoshiumi you better be in the gym in the next minute.”

“lets go Atsumu, you don’t win anything out of creating a scene,” Sakusa said as he grabbed his friend and tried dragging him out of the hallway. Hoshiumi waved at Atsumu as cockily as possible, “remember Atsumu! not only did we win the game but I also won your girl!” he screamed.

Atsumu went to jump but was pulled back by Sakusa and Bokuto as you walked out of the gym again to grab Hoshiumi. he grabbed you by the wrist and kissed you in front everyone that was in the hallway. Atsumu could hear Bokuto telling him to calm down but he wanted nothing more than to run over to Hoshiumi and kick his ass before reclaiming you as his again.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu miya imagine #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya x you #hoshiumi korai #hoshiumi korai imagine #hoshiumi korai x reader #hoshiumi korai x you #sports anime #sport anime

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sw124 · 3 years

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BonelyHearts Reader Insert5

{Female!ReaderXSkeleton household}

Camping! Pt.4

You woke to the sound of the local song birds, you could tell what some of them were but not all of them. Most prominent were the Morning Doves, they were the loudest other then the Chickadees. Blinked and could just make out the sun through your tent, you slowly sat up.

........

Around you was a group of skeletons, Russ by your feet, Blue by your left hip and Papyrus was curled in a awkward position on your right side. What in the world made them sneak into your tent...oh well it was too early to care. You slowly got up, maneuvering so you didn’t wake them, slipped on your shoes and unzipped the front of your tent. You stepped out and zipped it partly back up, you turned....and was greeted with such a beautiful sight.

The hills were bathed with clouds of silver mist, all suspended a little off the ground while others rolled up into the sky. The mist over the lake was just as beautiful, the sun was just rising. The silver instantly turned to gold with in a flash, the air was cold but just perfect. You felt little pin-prickles in your nose when you inhaled, you didn’t care though; it was all apart of the charm of the season.

You stretched out your arms to the side before straight up, you could feel your muscles tighten as you stretched before relaxing. You gave a small yawn before making your way to the communal showers, you needed the rest room. Once that was taken care of you walked back to the camp, you went to the kitchen tent and prepared some morning coco and some coffee. You could use a cup of coffee yourself, you had just finished making the last cup when you heard the tent zippers.

It was Russ, holding on to his pillow. He was swaying on his feet, poor thing still looked half asleep. You smiled and walked over to him, gently holding his arms to steady him. He muttered a thank you before shuffling to his chair, you took the pillow from him and place it back in the tent. By this time Papyrus and Blue were starting to wake up.

“Morning boys, I just made some fresh coco.”

Blue gave a yawn and smiled, eyes still closed. He waved to you, Papyrus was slowly sitting up as well. They were so cute, almost like kittens or puppies waking up from a nap. You left the tent flap open and check on the rest of the skeletons, Boss, Nox, and Poplar were just beginning to wake up. In the other tent Sans, Ash, Stretch and Red were still fast asleep; you found it best not to wake them up.

You decided to start breakfast, you planned a nice and simple dish of scrambled eggs with veggies and cheese. You also had some fresh fruit cut up as a little side dish, when it came to cooking for these boys you never messed around, you had just started heating up the pan when Papyrus walked over.

“Human let me do that, Boss an I had already voted on us making breakfast.” Pap gently took the pan from you.

“You sure on that, I don’t mind really.”

But it was no use arguing especially when Boss lead you back to your seat and made you sit down.

“You cooked dinner and dessert last night, you sit and enjoy the morning.”

Yeah you really couldn’t argue with Boss, especially with both of his hands planted on your shoulders; encouraging you to sit down. If that wasn’t enough, he threw a blanket over your lap and put your mug of coco back in your hands…he even tucked you into the blanket. He wasn’t messing around….

Well now you couldn’t move from your spot, you were too comfortable. You gave a small sigh, sipped your coco and just enjoyed the morning air. Russ had moved his chair next to you, he still looked half asleep. You smiled, reaching over you rubbed his shoulder; electing an adorable kitten -purr from him. You paused and turned to see the other skeletons staring to shamble out of their tents.

You smiled at them as they took their seats, you decided to go over the day’s plan. Today was the ‘Leisure’ group outing; the group had Ash, Stretch, Russ, Sans and lastly Red. The activities were the ‘Trail of Colors’ and the ‘Bridge Trail’ for starters, you pulled out the Pamphlet and examined it. You also saw the paddle boat ride but recalling how long it took you to do the Waterfall trail and the canoeing you’d probably wanted to wait an see what would happen after the hikes.

You were so wrapped up in the pamphlet you didn’t notice Sans leaning over your shoulder..well you noticed after he rested his head right on your shoulder.

“So whats the agenda today?”

“Well since its the ‘Leisure’ group today we’re doing a few trails and if we have time maybe a little boat ride, again only if we have time. The first trail we’re doing is the ‘Bridge Trail’; that one will take us into the ‘Trail of Colors’ which will lead us right back to the campsite. If all goes well it should only be an hour.” You set the pamphlet down.

Pap pulled Sans off your shoulder, scolding him saying it was rude to rest his head on your shoulder. You give Pap a little wave saying it was no problem, before you could say anything Boss gingerly placed a plate of food before you. Scrambled eggs with diced veggies and some of the leftover Parmesan cheese dusted on top of it, you wiggled with excitement and thanked him.

“No need to thank perfection human.” Was it your imagination or did Boss purr that statement.

You stifled another giggle before you started to eat, everyone was up and enjoying their breakfasts. Again you told everyone the agenda, no one seemed to object to this idea honestly. You reminded everyone in the ‘Leisure’ group to wear proper shoes, slippers don’t count. Sans gave his usual broad smile.

“You afraid one of us might ‘slipper’ up or something?”

“Sans!”

Pap went at Sans for his puns, of course egging him on to do more but you immediately spoke up.

“Sans I’m serious, your gonna hurt your feet if you don’t wear the proper shoes for this walk. The one thing I’m super concerned with is everyone’s safety on these hikes, no matter how trivial they might be.”

Sans raises his hands in surrender. “Easy there, I’m not gonna go walking around in slippers…accept around here.”

Well now you felt bad, you should have known he was joking but you still worry about them. You recalled the first time you went hiking and wore the wrong kind of shoes….for a week it felt like you were walking on nothing but bruises. You just didn’t want that for the other skeletons…

[After breakfast]

It was a tad colder today but nothing to bad, it was mostly the wind that made it chillier. You put on a windbreaker today, you never noticed but almost all the lazy-bone skeletons always wore a hoodie or jacket…in-fact almost all of them minus Poplar wore some kind of jacket. Ash was talking to his brother, it was so sweet to see the two of them dote on each other.

You went the kitchen tent and packed up bottles of water and some snacks just in case, knowing these lazy boys they’d want to have something to munch on. Before you left you went to the skeletons who were staying behind and asked them if they were ok staying behind.

“Of course human, don’t worry about us. A day like yesterday was quite invigorating but also left us a bit tired, we’ll relax a bit.” Said Poplar patting your hand, geez again that smile of his should be outlawed.

Blue and Pap agreed with Poplar, Boss waved a dismissive hand at you, Nox was lecturing Russ about something but you couldn’t tell what. All Russ did was nod, you were pretty sure it was a lecture on safety. Again you couldn’t tell cause by the time you got there Nox was already walking back towards the others. Russ seemed a bit…tired? Annoyed? You couldn’t be sure so you decided not to ask.

“Ok guys, everyone ready?”

“Yup.” Said Stretch.

You turned to the others, Ash still was looking back at Poplar; slightly shifting his weight from foot to foot. He jumped a little when you took his hand…his cheek bones grew a rather lovely hint of hyacinth.

“He’ll be ok Ash, he’s with Boss an the others. He’ll be just fine, come on; enjoy yourself.”

Gingerly you pulled him forward, he gave very little resistance…in fact he softly squeezed your hand, you were sure he wasn’t gonna want to let go. Not that you minded, it wouldn’t be the first time one of the skeletons held your hand. More often then not it was usually Poplar, Papyrus or Blue that held your hands. Ash sometimes but that was for situations where he was…nervous or if Poplar wasn’t there.

Well you finally had everything so you motioned the group to start walking, both trails were pretty much all flattened dirt paths unlike the ones you hiked yesterday. There was maybe one or two hills but nothing strenuous, it was perhaps ten minutes before you came to the first bridge.

There was a little plaque by it with some history and the name of this particular bridge.

“The ‘Music Bridge’ was named that way for unique creaking sounds it makes when stepped on. The bridge was constructed in 1909 by a Mr. Domen who designed and built the bridge specifically for children to enjoy along with those who were young at heart.” You read aloud.

“Huh….lets test it out.” Said Stretch.

The moment he stepped on the bridge there was high pitched squeak, almost like a mouse or bat. After that no one hesitated to run on to the bridge and make the worst cacophony of noises. Sans found a few particular boards that sounded like his Whoopie-cushions. Russ and Stretch found one that sounded like ducks quacking, Red was getting annoyed cause he was attempting to play “Heart an Soul” on the boards but everyone kept getting in his way. You and Ash were just having fun rocking on two particular boards, sort of in an ‘up,down’ style.

Once that was done you moved on, you were still having a bit of a giggle fit when you came to the next bridge. Nothing special about it so you simply walked it. The next bridge however was a bit more interesting, this bridge was completely made out of round cobble stones. Around the stones were carved flowers and even stone benches.

You and Ash walked up to the plaque, this time Ash read it allowed.

“The ‘Maiden Bridge’ was constructed in 1867 for local women to come and have a reprieve from large gatherings held nearby. It was often improper for men to stay on the bridge unless they were family or the spouse of said maiden. A common tradition for single women walking the bridge is to close her eyes and walk the length of the bridge while holding a flower, should she were to fall over into the water or drop the flower she’d be a spinster for her entire life but if succeeds she’d be blessed with only the best suitors.” Ash finished an gave you a side glance, you gave a playful wave, no you weren’t gonna try it.

“You gonna try it sweetheart?” Asked Red.

“No for two reasons, one, I don’t wanna fall over and two there aren’t any flowers around for me to hold.” Though you did like the idea of the tradition.

Everyone took a moment to appreciate the river below them, the water wasn’t deep. At most if you had to guess if you were to wade through it the water would come up just shy of your midsection or just under your bust line. You saw Russ toss a few stray rocks into the river, Sans watched. After a few minutes you motioned everyone to keep walking, the next couple of bridge were covered bridges.

Almost like elongated barns, one of them was so long it had a slight echo to it. The last bridge was just a run of the mill arched wooden bridge with iron supports, there wasn’t a plaque or anything but it was still nice to lean over the railings to watch the river flow by. There were some benches on the bridge too, you told the boys to sit an rest as you passed out the snacks and water.

After your small break you went back to walking and holding Ash’s hand…accept now your other hand was now taken, Russ having claimed it now. You didn’t mind, it was rather endearing and besides it wouldn’t be the first time. The next trail was the ‘Trail of Colors’ an it certainly lived up to its name. The entrance of the trail had two maple tree’s on both sides almost like sentinels. Their leaves the most perfect shade of crimson, just about the color a lit-matchstick.

Passed the crimson sentinels you were awash in autumns truest beauty, leaves of so many different trees painted with such luscious colors. Different shades of orange and yellows, crimson shades, even a few species of tree’s whose leaves were almost black..or perhaps purple. Regardless everything was just awash in pure beauty, you slowed your steps to be sure to appreciate everything.

A few times stopping to let Ash admire a tree or two, mostly the maples and aspens. You watching the two of them walk around one of the tree’s, Russ even reaching up to pull a branch down when you felt something tickle the top of your head. You ducked down thinking it was a bug or something…only to see it was a long piece of Reed grass…with Stretch holding the other end.

“Haha funny Stretch.” He smiled at you and handed the piece of long grass to you.

Oh why the heck not, you repeated the same thing on Red…who yelled out a curse and swatted the piece of grass away. When he saw it was you he took the grass and flung it into the woods….

Well there went your bit of fun.

You sighed, you an the boys continued walking and little before anyone knew it the trial had lead you back out to the campsite. You checked your watch…as you thought it took longer then you expected, the walk took you two hours instead of one but hey it wasn’t too bad an you had time for that little boat ride. Ok paddle boat ride, you hurry the lazy boys over to the rental kiosk and rent three boats. They weren’t the swan boat kind but regardless.

“Ok we got three bots so thats a boat for two people each, pick your partners and lets paddle around the lake!”

This was going to be fun…until you realize the boys were looking at you…

“Oh don’t tell me you want me to choose a partner…” you groaned.

“If ya don’t mind choosing one pairs for each of us.” Said Russ almost sheepishly.

You sigh and look at each skeleton…yes you knew how to pair this.

“Alright, Sans you and Russ get the yellow boat, Stretch you and Red get the white boat and lastly Ash an I get the green boat. Ok that’s done, no arguing lets go!” You had to shut down any protests Red would have, besides he got along well with Stretch…an if you paired him with Russ or Sans it’d end in disaster.

You all shuffled into the little boats, the bicycle peddles on the bottom of the boat had straps so your feet wouldn’t slip off them and a cute little wheel to turn the boat, it almost felt like a go-cart or bumper car. Once you an Ash secured your feet you began peddling. It was slightly hard to get started but once you got the momentum going it was smooth sailing from there.

The six of you wander around the lake in your little paddle boats, once in a while letting yourselves glide on the lake surface. You heard Russ call out his brothers name and wave, yes you could see your campsite and the others. They all waved back at Russ and even at you, you smile returned a wave.

After about another couple of hours you heard a bell, that meant all boats had to come back in. You sighed, you kinda wanted to stay out on the lake longer; oh well it was close to lunchtime anyway according to your watch. As you peddled…you heard something, it sounded like an engine or something-

[VWOOOOOOSH!!!!]

Just barely missing you was a speed boat, it rocked your own and caused a wave leap over the side and completely soak you! Ash was spared from the wave but sadly you weren’t. The wave covered you from head to toe; not a single part of you was dry, not to mention the water was nothing but pure ice; temperature wise. You stiffened and curled up, yeah it was just water but it was super cold, it almost hurt!

“H-Hey you ok?!” Ash reached out and touched your arm, you were shaking an the wind wasn’t doing you any favors.

“Hang on we’re almost to the dock…” he took over paddling for you.

You curled up tight, hunched over yourself. Oh geez you were cold, you managed to look up…to your surprise Red, Sans, Russ and Stretch all were at the dock. Having see what happened they were waiting at the ready to pull you out of that damn boat…an that they did. Ash angled the boat so you were directly by the dock. Stretch and Russ took hold of an arm and pulled you right out, Sans and Red helped Ash.

“C-c-c-cold….” You stammered.

“Easy now w-we got you.” Russ was drying your face with his sleeve.

“What the f**k was that anyway?!” Red barked, rhetorically.

“Don’t matter lets just get her back to camp before she gets hypothermia.” Said Sans, his tone was void of any humor.

The five of them came around you and in a blink you were back at the campsite…greeted with a roar of disbelief.

“What in blazes happened?!”

You felt Nox hand on your arm pulling you away from the group, squawking in shocked confusion at your soaked state. Papyrus and Boss hurried you by the fire to try an warm you, also trying their best to shield you from the wind. Blue wrapped a towel over your head. Poplar tried grab a blanket but, given his condition he couldn’t move as quickly.

“Some assholes in a boat almost ran into them, they missed but didn’t mean they didn’t splash them.” Said Red.

Once you were warm enough to at least move you went to your tent, Boss and Papyrus escorted you mostly to keep the wind off you. You crawled in and zipped up the flap, you waisted no time getting undressed and into some dry clothes. It took you a few minutes but you were now in dry clothes and your body was finally warming up. Your shoes were however soaked…as much as you didn’t want to..you put on a pair of slippers and walked out with your wet clothes in hand.

It was sweet of the boys to set up a makeshift clothesline by the fire to help dry your clothes.

This wasn’t what you expected….an now you were worried about what was going to come next…

To be continued…

[This is based on the Bonelyhearts game if you want to know more please see the official tumblr site @bonelyheartsclub ; an for those reading there’s more to this, I’m gonna add just a bit more drama but no emotional drama. What kind you ask? ….Well your gonna have to wait and see. Speaking of waiting sorry for this being late, new games came out and got me super distracted but here you go please enjoy]

#undertale #fanfic #bonely hearts club

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minniewoos · 4 years

Text

Amortentia ➣ Hwang Hyunjin Pt.1

Genre: hogwarts au, slytherin!Hyunjin, fluff, angst, bestfriend!Seungmin

Pairing: hyunjin x reader

Word Count: 12,932

Summary: Hyunjin was conceived under the effects of a love potion, making it impossible for him to experience love. But you try your hardest anyway. And you kinda succeed.

part 1➣part 2 ➣part 3

"And the final curious potion we will be introducing today, last but not least, is Amortentia." Your potions professor announced. Professor Lee always had a bounce in his step and a delighted grin whenever he taught. Anyone who saw him could tell that potions were his passion. And today's lesson was no different; the smile on his pudgy face was more full than usual today. And you weren't sure why. But he continued dutifully with his teachings.

"I'm sure most of you already know what this little concoction is, it's quite famous amongst kids your age." He chipped, but then held his pointer finger up and towards the small group of students in front of him. He warned, "But don't even think about using it. This potion is considered highly dangerous and very powerful. It does not create genuine love, that is impossible to achieve by means of magic. Just an intense obsession. Understand?"

You heard a few peers around you sigh in disappointment. And you weren't very surprised since you always heard gossip through the grapevine. Stories about your classmates and their romantic struggles. And like your professor said, this potion was very popular. Everyone wants easy love, a perfect romance. You even thought about using it once or twice when you were younger; probably in year two or three. You shake your head at yourself, those days of pining after that certain person were behind you. At least, the childish thoughts of using magic to do that.

"Of course, I'm sure most of you are wise enough not to do that. I expect great things from you bunch, this is an advanced potion class. I see greatness in each one of you." Your professor smiled once again as his eyes landed on every one of you and your classmates. It was a mixed class as well; it had some students from each house attending it. Which was a change from the usual one or two houses per class, but you like it, you didn't interact as much with the other houses as you would've liked to.

"Would anyone like to tell me what they know about Amortentia before we begin?" Professor Lee let the question hang in the air, receiving only silence. His smile dropped for a moment, but it was up once more when he spotted somebody raised their hand. He nodded and pointed towards the owner of the raised hand, "Yes, Seungmin, go ahead."

“It’s complicated to brew, and it makes the person it’s used on have an extreme obsession.” Seungmin said, very interested in today’s lesson, “The smells also different for everybody; it smells like the three things people love the most.”

“That is correct! Five points for Ravenclaw.” Your professor chirped happily. “At the end of class, if anyone wishes, they may take a whiff of Amortentia if they’re curious about the smell.”

You smiled as well, and discreetly fist-bumped Seungmin for the extra points for your house. In your mind, he was always a good kid, if not a little odd sometimes. For the rest of the class, your professor spoke animatedly about Amortentia and went over its painful brewing procedure. You listened, well, you tried to. Looking to the brewing procedure is tedious and quite a bore, especially for such a long and precise potion like Amortentia. So, your thoughts wandered a bit, but you got the gist of what you needed to know about Amortentia. And if you had questions, the textbook was there for a reason. Instead, you were curious about what Amortentia smelled like for you; perhaps it would be your favorite coffee or tea, or maybe a particular food. What did Seungmin smell? Or the professor? You scanned the room, curious as to what the others would smell in the Amortentia.

There were pretty rowdy Gryffindors like Han Jisung or Shin Ryujin. But there was a certain Slytherin you were especially curious about. Eyes trained on Hwang Hyunjin, you concentrated as you tried to think. Your eyebrows scrunched together as you thought about what he would even smell, he was unpredictable, really. Nobody was really close to the aloof Slytherin, but he got along really well with everyone. He wasn’t cruel or stuck up despite the Slytherin stereotype, but he wasn’t friendly either. Hyunjin never stuck to people that well, it was as if he wasn't interested enough to care. On the other hand, people stuck to Hyunjin like glue; you weren't exactly sure why. So it confused you, why care so much about a guy who doesn't do the same? Perhaps it was because of his charm, the few times you spoke to him were very pleasant; it helped that he was a solid ten in looks. Nonetheless, there was something off about him that you couldn't figure out. Hyunjin was indeed a mystery.

“Hey, pay attention.” Seungmin jabbed at your side, effectively derailing your train of thought. “If we’re gonna be partners again, it’s not going to be like last time.”

You rolled your eyes, “Come on Minnie, it wasn’t that bad. Okay?”

He frowned, “Says you, the potion didn’t blow up right in your eyes.”

“Sorry?” You shrugged with a shy smile, feeling a little guilty about the potion incident. Seungmin went blind for a whole hour.

“You better be.” Seungmin turned his focus back into taking his notes. How diligent.

You pouted and leaned onto the desk, your chin resting in the palm of your hand. You muttered sourly, “That sounds like a threat.”

“That’s because it is.”

The class period reached its end quickly, and your mood was instantly lifted. While you enjoy the advanced potions class, it has a knack for putting you to sleep. You were a pretty lazy Ravenclaw.

“Remember class, I will offer you extra credit for this lesson! If you’re interested just sign this parchment before you leave the room, this is your last day to do this before I begin planning the extra credit.” Your professor reminded everyone one last time before dismissing the class.

The small class began to file out of the room, most of them gathering around the table with the vials of potions lined upon them. All the potions the professor went over today were interesting and very advanced. It was predictable which one people flocked towards first. Amortentia.

Chatter filled the air as you heard excited quips of what they smelled; others who were less interested simply left the room.

Seungmin was one of those people about to leave the room, completely ignoring the potions. But you clutched his arm and yanked him towards the table. He yelped in surprise before giving you an ugly look.

"Don't act like you aren’t curious about what you smell." You crossed your arms, standing in front of the table. The small crowd already began dispersing.

"I will act like it because I don’t." Seungmin sighed, then began to leave the room once more. "I'll meet you outside after you're finished."

Lips pursed in a frown, what a downer. You weren't sure what his problem was today, his mood seemed to drop mid-lesson. But ignoring Seungmin’s attitude, you faced the little vial of Amortentia. Little spiraling wisps rose from the vial, dissipating by the time it reached the height of your eyes. Already a little excited, you leaned down and took a whiff.

You smelled everything right away, each scent from the potion was strong and distinct. The corners of your lips tipped up.

Old books, and you knew exactly why. The Ravenclaw common room was absolutely filled with ancient books from top to bottom, and it showed. Bookcases were full of leather-bound books and rolled-up scrolls. The scent was faint but immediately noticeable, old and musty, but endearing to you. Ravenclaw pride bubbled up in your chest.

Then there was a sort of citrusy smell, it was oranges. Other than the fact that they smell good, they were always in season for you. Ever since the first day you sat down at the Ravenclaw table and the feast appeared in front of you, you adored Hogwarts’ oranges. It was the first thing you tried out of the feast, and the taste stuck with you. You’ll eat one whenever you have the chance.

Jasmine. The last scent was jasmine, and while you vividly recognize the smell, you were confused as to why you smelled it. There were no prominent memories associated with jasmine other than it just smelling very good. And despite your confusion around it, it was easily the most potent smell among the three. You stared intensely at the vial, trying to focus on the jasmine scent; it was possible a memory or feeling would come to you. But alas, you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

Deciding to give up, you took a step away and just admired the potion for a moment. It was lovely, a light blue color with a sleek sheen to it and spiraling steam. No one would be able to tell what powerful properties it would have. You sigh before you noticed most others have left the class already to carry on their schedule. All except for one.

You were surprised to see Hyunjin standing in front of you on the opposite side of the table. He was glaring down at the potion, a confused and annoyed expression creased his face. Frowning, you wondered what he smelled to possibly cause such an irate reaction from the boy. Unsure of whether it was appropriate to ask, you just stared at Hyunjin’s concentrated expression. But as usual, curiosity got the better of you and decided you wanted to know why he seemed so annoyed. Hesitantly, you got his attention and waved a hand.

“Hey Hyunjin, what do you smell?” You leaned over to match his line of sight, with an awkward little smile to seem friendly. You gulped nervously after Hyunjin’s irritated gaze flicked to look you directly in your eyes.

“What do you smell?” He responded to your question with a question. You frowned but figured you would answer anyway.

“Hm...it was old books, oranges, and jasmine. Pretty pleasant if you ask me.” Shifting your weight, you tilted your head before questioning him again. “So, how about you?”

“Nothing.” His lips pursed with his eyebrows were scrunched, “I don’t smell anything.”

The first thought that came to you was simply that that wasn’t possible. But you couldn’t question him or dwell on the idea any longer. Hyunjin ended the small talk when he sharply snatched his textbook off the desk and left the room, leaving you to feel bad you even asked.

Feeling down since you’ve somehow insulted two people within the span of five minutes, you figure it’s your time to go. A heavy sigh and a moment later you headed towards the exit.

“Miss y/n, please don’t feel bad about that. It’s good to be curious. Some people just have a complicated relationship with this kind of stuff.” Professor Lee consoled you, he was packing his notes and materials up from his desk. His smile was sympathetic.

You smiled and shrugged, “I just don’t think he’s a very open person, sir.”

“Well, Miss y/n, that just makes their journey all the more satisfying.”

“The journey?”

“Getting to know somebody is an adventure all on its own. I’m sure you’ll discover this.” Professor Lee began walking out from behind his desk, parchment in hand. “Somebody like him specifically, Hyunjin, would be a tough but fascinating journey.”

“You’re talking about people like they’re stories, sir.”

“Well, everyone has their own story, for some people, it just takes some digging. I know you’re an inquisitive person, you have a thirst for knowledge."

"Thank you, your enthusiasm when you teach really does help." You smile gratefully, then paused as something came to mind. "Actually, where’s that parchment for the extra credit? I'd like to do it; the lessons have been getting a little hard to understand."

"Oh, of course! It's right here." He held out the parchment in his hand and gave you a quill. "Go right ahead dear, you'll be given a partner to complete this outside of class."

"Okay, thanks sir, I'll see you later." You sign and gather your things, leaving the classroom in a better mood than you would have otherwise. You nearly forget Seungmin was outside waiting for you, so you sent him an apologetic look.

"Took you long enough, I was about to go in and check if you died," Seungmin commented, propped on the ledge jutting out from the sculptured stone walls. He looked uncomfortable.

"Wow, you really did wait for me, I'm flattered." You smiled, pleasantly surprised despite the frown set on Seungmin.

"Yeah, I did, now hurry up before we're late for charms class." He began to walk ahead of you while you trailed behind him, a couple steps quicker to try to catch up. "What did you smell anyway?"

"Hmm, old books, citrus, and jasmine. All quite nice if you ask me."

Seungmin hummed in response, slowing his pace for you; he seemed content. The smug little smirk on your face showed your sense of satisfaction. Seungmin could never stay mean to you, it didn’t matter what; you two have been best friends since the first year. He got grumpy sometimes, but it never lasted long when it came to you. You nudged him with your elbow, catching him on the side; then, you looked up at him to show off your smug little grin. In return, he rolled his eyes and nudged you back, but you peaked at the little smile he attempted to hold back.

The next morning was breakfast time, and the only way to describe your journey to the Great Hall was a hobble. Or maybe a shuffle or stagger. And it was a long ways away from the Ravenclaw tower down to the Great Hall. As a result, you were really struggling to move your tired limbs. Perhaps you'll take a quick nap during breakfast, or sleep during Ms. Hong's charm class. Either way, you were not awake, and it showed. Badly.

Unfortunately, you’ve developed an awful habit of not sleeping when you’re supposed to, and it’s resulted in your morning zombie-ness. And general crankiness if you were going to be honest. All that nagging Seungmin threw at you didn’t help either, he always nagged at you to sleep early or to eat right. It was easy for him to say though, he was one of the early birds in this school.

And as soon as you took your seat at the Ravenclaw table, you knew the look Seungmin was putting your way. He really just reminded you of your mother sometimes. So, before he could nag you, you nagged yourself. You hitch your voice into a slightly nasally tone and scrunch your nose mockingly. “Y/n you need to sleep earlier, study before 10pm, don’t rely on caffeine, stop procrastinating you lazy ass.”

“I don’t sound like that!"

“Shhh, yea, you do, don’t pretend you don’t know. Don’t be so loud in the mornings, please.” You grumble and lay your head on the table after placing a muffin on your plate. After closing your eyes, you sigh heavily and ultimately regret your life choices that lead to your headache and tired eyes.

Seungmin shook his head, “I wasn't even going to say anything. You’re a brat in the mornings, you know that right?”

“Mmmhm, watcha gonna do about it?” You mumble, head still lying on the table and eyes shut comfortably. After a few seconds, you got no response, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Meanwhile, Seungmin wasn’t buying into your childish attitude right now. Simply resting his cheek to the palm of his hand, eyelids lowering in boredom, and with a weary sigh said, “Your robes are on inside out.”

"No, it's not you're just messing with me." You didn't even bother to check.

Seungmin stopped bothering you in favor of chatting with Jeongin. Another Ravenclaw just a year below you; he also had a knack for annoying you. You weren't surprised that he and Seungmin got along so well. Eventually, maybe a few minutes passed before your thoughts shut down, and you were snoozing away. A soothing smell drifted in the air around you, slightly mixed in with the fresh oranges and ripening bananas. It smelled very familiar, but you were too drowsy to remember the name, and it served to make you fall deeper into your morning nap.

"How does she fall asleep so quickly…" Jeongin stared at you in engrossed bafflement and proceeded to wave a hand in front of your face. He was another early bird who enjoyed teasing you about your poor life choices.

“Because she refuses to go to bed at a reasonable time,” Seungmin said, bored as if he’s been through this situation many times before. Which to his credit, he has. "She’ll start snoring soon, just wait.”

And you did, the snores were quiet at first, more like loud breathing. Jeongin raised his eyebrows, “You were right.”

Seungmin smiled a smug smile, and tapped his temple. “I know her well, later she’ll complain about how tired she still is but can’t sleep. Then the cycle will repeat.”

Seungmin then pulled out a quill, a devilish smile on hand. “I have an idea.”

Jeongin mirrored his mischievous grin, immediately recognizing the type of quill he took out. Without hesitation, Seungmin, on your exposed cheek, began to write gently. While nothing showed up at first, the quill contained disappearing ink; and that means that in about an hour the ink will become visible. Just about the time you'd be getting sleepy again, in potions class where he had to deal with your lazy ass.

Seungmin felt satisfied with his work. His little art piece wasn’t visible at the moment. But the little mustache and monocle he drew would give him a good laugh later in class. He even wrote ‘I told you so’ on your forehead, just to take a jab at you.

Eventually, you were forced to wake up. The students around you filing out of the Great Hall and through the large entrance doors, the chatter filling the castle. You lifted your head. It felt heavy as you stretched your arms out to yawn. Drowsy and your vision still blurry, you picked up your muffin and quickly began to eat. You sat there for a moment, letting your sleepiness slowly fade away. Only then did you freeze Seungmin and jeongin left you there, you pursed your lips and puffed your cheeks out. But you should've expected it, it always annoyed Seungmin when your lousy sleeping habits caught up to you, and you knew it.

You shook it off though as Seungmin just being Seungmin and stared dully at the seat he sat in across from you. He had a half-filled plate of breakfast food leftover, and you really just thought of why he would grab so much if he didn't even eat it. But one thing caught your attention, making you do a double-take. A funny feeling began to settle in the pit of your stomach. Your eyes stuck on the teacup across from you as the gears in your head work hard. The silence as the room emptied out only amplified the thoughts in your mind.

Seungmin's tea was jasmine, he always drank a cup in the morning and before bed. Although Seungmin drinks a lot of tea throughout the day, jasmine is his favorite. It was usually routine for him to start and end the day with it. And well, you always liked the smell of it; since you associated it with good memories and Seungmin. You recognized it as the smell that so easily put you to sleep this morning. And you also recognized it as the last thing you smelled in Amortentia.

It wasn't hard to put two and two together, but it was a jarring revelation. Did you love Seungmin? Of course, you would say yes, but to think of him romantically gave you a funny feeling in your chest. You blinked at the teacup in front of you, trying to decipher what this meant for you. If somebody asked how you felt, you wouldn't be able to answer clearly. It was as if that warm, fuzzy feeling right now was also constricting. Your breathing was heightened, and there was a pressure in your abdomen. The most honest answer you could say was that your feelings were mixed.

"Miss," there was a tap on your shoulder, breaking you from your thoughts. You blink wildly as if torn from a daze and stare at the professor in front of you, slightly baffled. She looks at you softly, "it's time to go to class hun."

"Oh," you reply dumbly. But hearing the awkward sound quickly brought you back to your senses. "Oh, yes of course. I'm sorry professor, I guess I'm still waking up. It's not an easy morning I suppose."

"We all have those days, now hurry along and get to class before you're late."

"Of course, thank you" you gather your stuff and rush out of the now empty Great Hall.

You speed walked to your next class in a daze, took notes in a daze, and left the class in a daze. Seungmin. Seungmin? Maybe...but, it was Seungmin. Your best friend, Seungmin.

Which you had your next class with, and you absolutely wouldn't be able to concentrate. It was potions, which you suppose was a good thing. You were good at potions, and Professor Lee was giving out the assignments for the extra credit today. You found yourself standing in front of the potions room door, staring at the floor and thinking to yourself. You shake your head and huff, you just decide to focus on the studies for now. Worrying can wait.

You walk into potions class and take your usual seat next to Seungmin, and everything was as usual. Professor Lee began his lecture, and you and Seungmin made little comments to each other, sometimes snide and sometimes witty. He scribbled notes in his little parchment paper, bound into a notebook. You lean over towards Seungmin, boredom already creeping up on you, and start doodling on his parchment. He doesn’t even bat an eye, he’s too used to your strange doodles. At first, he always complained about the “weird muggle drawing” on his study notes. But he eventually grew to know who Spongebob was, initially asking why there was a “block of cheese with a face on it” on his paper. Being a young first year, you were horrified that he didn’t know who Spongebob was. And proceeded to explain to him what Spongebob and cartoons were. Little pureblood Seungmin was weirded out, but since you kept on drawing on his notes, he figured it was useless to keep complaining. Now he actually likes seeing your doodles on his notes, even if they weren’t that good. It was always a different person or character, and whenever a new one popped up, he would ask about it. Currently, you were doodling a bad rendition of the gang from Monsters Inc.

Seungmin glances over at you, smirks, then looks back down to continue note taking. This action makes you pause for a moment. You stare at him, waiting for him to explain to you why he looks so smug and satisfied. You can already tell this isn’t a good sign for you, to mentally prepare yourself for the worst.

“Seungmin.” You nudge him gently, “What did you do this time?”

He looks at you, eyes you a bit before looking at his paper again, a smile on his lips. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Liar.” You narrow your eyes, trying to think of the previous pranks he pulled on you. It only took a moment before the lightbulb lit above your head, your expression was one of annoyance. “You drew something on my face, didn’t you.”

“Of course not, why would I do that?” He pretends to be offended, but you knew he was satisfied on the inside. His response only confirmed your suspicions.

You grumble to yourself before trying to wipe the ink off your face, but you were sure you were just smudging it. Also hoping nobody else noticed whatever it was Seungmin decided to draw. And you could only wish it was nothing obscene. After a few minutes of trying to wipe the ink off your face, Seungmin finally took pity and began wiping it off for you. He chuckled silently to himself while doing it, though. What a little fucker.

Soon enough the professor got everyone's attention after his lecture of the day. You tuned in after a whole class period of barely listening, and it’s a good thing you did. He just started talking about the extra credit project. And so, you decide that you need to pay attention to this. Putting your thoughts away, you turned your focus towards professor Lee.

"Now, I must say I am slightly disappointed. Out of the 17 of you in this class, only 4 signed up for extra credit." Professor Lee huffed indignantly. But continued anyway. "But those who have, I’m proud to say, are quite brilliant students.”

You leaned into Seungmin and asked him in a low tone, “Did you sign up?”

He shook his head and shrugged, you pouted, a little disappointed.

“First pair, Na Jaemin and Kwon Eunbin. You two will be brewing the potion Felix Felicus. The next, and last, pair will be Hwang Hyunjin and y/f/n. And the two of you will be brewing Amortentia. Those are both complicated potions you know, and it must be done outside of class. We are much too busy in class here to work on this project. I suggest the four of you see me after class to discuss this more if you have any questions.”

Your curiosity was peaked, you twisted around in your chair to spot Hyunjin a few seats behind you. The odd boy was going to be your partner. He didn’t seem too interested, but his eyes flicked to meet yours when he sensed your gaze on him. You smiled and waved, trying to look friendly enough after what happened yesterday; maybe you came off as insensitive? Hyunjin nodded to you politely, the ghost of a smile hovered on his lips. After a moment, his attention turned back to the professor. But your gaze lingered for another second, you twisted back around after.

Seungmin nudged you, “Got a little crush, huh?”

Your jaw dropped and you smacked his arm in offense, “No, of course not. I just think he’s a little strange…”

“Strange?”

“Yea, isn’t there something off about him? He’s not mean or anything, but it’s like...like an act.”

Seungmin shook his head in denial, “I don’t see anything wrong, maybe that's just how he is.”

You thought about it for a moment, but it still bothered you. Nonetheless, the topic was dropped, and your mind clung onto another question. Was Seungmin aware of the Amortentia thing? He knew what you smelled in the potion, and Seungmin isn’t a dumb boy. Unquestionably he connected the dots and knew you smelled his jasmine tea, but for some reason just held off telling you. Or maybe he didn’t want to cause any awkward feelings because he didn’t reciprocate those feelings…

The thought of that put you down though, like your heart felt heavy just thinking of that possibility. You frowned, you were positive Seungmin knew, because you knew him well enough. He’s a smart boy. You rested your chin on your hand and tilted your head to eye Seungmin, squinting your eyes skeptically.

Of course, he noticed, not like you were hiding it anyway. He only looked at you weirdly and scoffed, amused. “What’s with the stink eye?”

“Not a stink eye, just thinking.” Your response was curt.

He pinched your nose affectionately while you swatted his hand away, “You overthink.”

“What a hypocrite, you’re a thinker too.”

“Yea, but at least I’m still grounded in reality. When you think, your heads way up there.” Seungmin looks up and points towards the sky. You purse your lips, unable to retort. And soon after, class was finishing up.

You stood from your seat, grabbed your textbooks, and waited as you leaned on the table. Eyes closed, you sigh breathily and wait for further instructions. When you open your eyes, Hyunjin was waiting as well with the same bored expression as you. The other two classmates were standing around too, it seems like none of you were particularly happy about this extra credit project. You couldn’t dwell on the thought much longer, though, because your professor stood in front of you all now, a huge gummy smile on his face. You sneak a glance at Hyunjin only to see a prominent frown on his usually indifferent face, your head tilts in curiosity.

“Hm…”

∎∎∎

Two days later and you sat in the library, not exactly enthused about Hyunjin’s tardiness. When Professor Lee explained the criteria for the extra credit a couple days ago, you and Hyunjin decided on when your first meet-up would be. And it was agreed that 6pm in the library would work. You were chewing on some oranges, a pile of the rines sitting on the table, the citrus-y scent wavering around you.

Apparently, it didn’t, because Hyunjin was thirty minutes late and your temper was increasing by the minute. You were muttering to yourself, “This boy, geez, what’s his deal. He better have a mighty good excuse for this…”

Pulling out a potions textbook, you just decide to start on your own. Doing nothing won’t get you anywhere. You probably sat there for another fifteen minutes or so before a couple chairs were pulled out and sat in. Looking up, you expected to see Hyunjin, but instead you were greeted by Jaemin and Renjun, you furrowed your eyebrows. You were friends with the two boys, Renjun was in Ravenclaw with you so it was a natural friendship. And you knew the Slytherin Jaemin through Renjun, all in the same year as you. You tilted your head and rested an arm on your textbook.

“What are you guys doing here?” You asked, a bored look in your eyes.

Jaemin whistled, pretending to be offended, “What? No ‘Hi Jaemin! Hello Renjun! It’s so nice to see you guys.’”

You rolled your eyes at him, Jaemin even fluttered his eyelashes for the extra flair. “No, since when have I ever greeted you guys like that. And you didn’t answer my question, why are you here?”

“Ah, you’re so cold to us.” Renjun chuckled, but smiled nonetheless, knowing you were just being comfortable with them. “We just needed to check up on some things. But we saw you and wanted to say hi. The real question is, why are you here and why do you look so pissy?”

“I’m doing extra credit work for potions, but, Hyunjin is supposed to do it with me and I haven’t heard from him.” You frowned, bookmarking your page and closing your textbook.

“What, really?” Jaemin looked confused, “Hyunjin was sleeping last I saw him.”

“He...was sleeping.” You repeated, irritated and about to drag him to the library by his ear if need be.

Jaemin nodded and stood up, “He’s one of my roommates. Never mentioned extra credit or anything.”

Renjun stood up with him and shrugged, “Maybe you guys will have to reschedule your study date. Wish you luck, we’ll be going now.”

“Study date?? Renjun no, no, that's not-” You tried to explain, but they walked away before you even finished your sentence. They even stole a couple of your oranges before they left. You sighed, exasperated and tired, they always teased you; they even had the nerve to steal your oranges! But your irritation caught up to you again as your head dropped and thumped onto the table. You sighed heavily as you just laid there, you figured it’s about time you pack things up. You can’t get too far without Hyunjin, and you weren’t about to do all the work and let Hyunjin slack off. This was a group project!

Just as you stood up and began packing your things away, a familiar figure rushed into the library, making a ruckus and disturbing the calm atmosphere. It was Hyunjin.

The boy basically stumbled through the door and slammed his hands against the wall to keep himself from entirely faceplanting. Somehow while still tripping over his own two feet. All of which caused a loud thud sound and all eyes on him; this provoked a violent and angry “Shhh!” from the librarian. He stood up straight and apologized, seemingly bewildered at how extra his entrance was. Then as he lifted his head up, he was able to see that most eyes were on him. Pink crept up his neck, and his usual calm demeanor was broken as he scratched the back of his neck. He quickly walked away from the entrance, trying to shake off all the eyes on him. It didn’t take long for Hyunjin to spot you and he made his way over, he let out a long, drawn out sigh. He shook his head, eyes squeezed shut for a moment as if he was trying to erase that moment from his memory.

You stood there, arms crossed and a prominent frown gracing your features. About a million questions were buzzing through your head, but first one you chose to scold him. “Why are you so late?? I was sitting here for like 45 whole minutes Hyunjin, and Jaemin comes by and tells me you were sleeping?? Really? Honestly, you better have a damn good excuse for this, this project isn’t easy, and we gotta pick it up if we want to do good on it.”

Hyunjin just stood there, mouth slightly ajar and eyes staring intently. He then stammered, “R-right sorry, I had quidditch practice before this and I got back to the dorm and just crashed… I woke up and ran here...um...”

He didn’t know what else to say. He was...flustered? Your eyebrows furrowed and your anger subsided in favor of curiosity. You’ve never seen this boy flustered before. Hyunjin always seemed level-headed and sharp, but with the way he was acting now, it was a strange new side of him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Hyunjin questioned, kind of worried about what you would say next. “Are you about to scold me more or…”

You looked up at him and shrugged, a glint of teasing in your eyes, “I just think you’re strange. Now let’s get started on this project, chop chop.”

Your response clearly caught him off guard. “Wh-what, wait, strange? You can’t just change the subject like that, why? Hey, don’t ignore me.”

“Come on, I already started the research for this, you gotta catch up.”

“I-what?? You started without me?”

“Um, yea, you were late so I’m not the one at fault here. Now come onnn, I wanna get started.”

“Ah...okay okay.” Hyunjin was still a little flustered and confused, but he sat down beside you anyway and looked at the textbook. It seemed like he was in deep thought, just staring dumbly at the textbooks cover. He was still processing the embarrassing moment that just took place.

You had to flip the book open to the right page, and Hyunjin’s lips formed an ‘o’. You chuckled to yourself, figuring this was going to be a bit more fun than you initially expected. Picking up an orange, you began to peel it and handed Hyunjin a piece. He took it gratefully and you plopped a bit into your mouth, savoring the flavor as you started reading the textbook with Hyunjin.

And studying with Hyunjin was...surprisingly easy. He was cooperative, and if he had any questions, he didn’t hesitate to ask. While he very swiftly regained his usual calm demeanor, it wasn’t a stubborn or cold one as you had originally thought. He was just quite a bit more aloof and quiet, not like that’s an awful thing; although, it was as though he attempted to regain his composure. Despite that, you discovered that the two of you actually got along quite well. You were actually making good progress on the research portion of this project. Note-taking and finding the right sources were a breeze, which usually weren’t in your past experiences. It was a miracle in a sense, Hyunjin was able to make good progress, even with your lazy ass occasionally getting distracted. Which he quickly turned your attention back to the problem at hand. The only thing that bothered you, sometimes Hyunjin would get a blank look on his face. It would be in between the little intervals of conversation, and he would just go blank. No facial expression but he was clearly thinking, his mind was running, but nothing was there. It normally wouldn’t bother you, it was just how he felt, right? It was just the vacant look his eyes took on, they were cold and distant. Something about it made you uncomfortable. Those moments were rare, though, and so you just carried on.

Nearly an hour later, you stretched your arms in the air, flexing your fingers out. A yawn escaped your lips as you rubbed your dreary eyes, laying your head on the table between your crossed arms. Hyunjin's condition was no different. He was leaning back in his chair, slouched and his head drooping. His hair fell over his half-lidded eyes while his arms were crossed comfortably. Sleep for these two drowsy sorcerers was imminent. The efforts of your work were splayed out across the table, messy hand-writing and orange rinds and all. Several open textbooks were stacked upon each other, the musty library smell and peaceful silence lulled you two to sleep.

The sun was beginning to set as an illustrious golden glow shown through the library windows. Rays of the intense orange glow shining spotlights upon the few library occupants remaining. As the sun sunk over the horizon, a particularly strong orange ray slowly crept its way right into Hyunjin’s face. He sneered at the disturbance of his sleep, squeezing his eyes before fluttering them open. His hand went to shield his eyes from the annoying light.

Hyunjin had to blink a couple more times to get a hold of his surroundings, temporarily forgetting where he was. But he quickly remembered whenever he was you snoozing away next to him. Your head on the table, using a textbook as a cushion. Your hair fell over your face, a strand getting caught between your lips as you snored softly. Hyunjin’s eyebrows raised curiously as he watched your lips move intermittently, you were mumbling under your breath. Sleep talking.

Hyunjin frowned. What time is it? He looked around the library, and there were simply a few students left, the sun was setting, and even the librarian was giving him a nasty side-eye. He cringed, remembering his entrance from earlier and figured it was time to go. His attention was turned back to you, he reached out and brushed the hair out of your face. Trying not to startle you, he placed his hand on your shoulder and shook gently.

"Y/n…" he prodded, but you were as still as a log, your cheek squished up against the textbook. Hyunjin prodded once more, shaking you a bit harder this time and still no response except a vague mumble of word salad from you.

"Tch, what a hypocrite," he scoffed, but there was no ill intent behind the action. He raised an eyebrow, and his lips raised as well in a smirk. Hyunjin was plotting against you. He sat up and leaned in close to you with his elbows situated on his knees.

"Hey...y/n…” Hyunjin cooed gently beside you, “Honey, I love you.”

You smiled faintly, still snoozing, but you responded nonetheless. "I love you too, Minnie…"

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, continuing deviously, "When’s our date?"

Your eyebrows scrunched and you mumbled something incoherently. "Bu..en..mmm… you asked me out?

"Yea, to Hogsmeade, remember silly."

"Hmmm, I dunno." you trailed off, a soft snore interrupted your thoughts. "Is about time though…"

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed and a smug smirk gracing his features. He was satisfied, and what he suspected was true. Amused and planning on teasing you later, Hyunjin finally woke you up for real.

You lifted your head up and yawned as you stretched your legs, "What's the time…?"

Hyunjin shrugged, looking forward he couldn't help but smile.

"What's that look for?" You sat up and turned toward him, seeing the weird smile he put on.

"Oh nothing," he shrugged, then turned his head over his shoulder, the shit eating grin wider now. "I just discovered you talk in your sleep."

A grain of dread settled into your stomach, small yet very obviously there. The unattractive feeling must've shown on your face since Hyunjin looked very amused. You gulped, a knot began to form in your throat as you muttered, embarrassed. "What did I say?"

You've often been told you slept talk. But it was mostly around your roommates in the late hours of the night, you never talked in your sleep in the day. If you did, Seungmin would've commented on it more. You were sure of that. You stared at Hyunjin expectantly, waiting for him to answer. But he only rested his elbow on the back of the uncomfortable wooden chairs and twisted his back, stretching it out.

"Ahh, that's a conversation for another day. I'm tired and my backs killing me." He whined as he stretched his back. Then rubbed his neck with a soft smile, "The library isn't very comfortable."

There was a hint of teasing in that grin. You narrowed your eyes. "Hwang Hyunjin, whatever I said stays between us, got it?"

In response, he winked and put a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. You narrowed your eyes playfully and smiled. Hyunjin stood up, the wooden chair squeaking against the floorboards, and gathered the leather-bound textbooks. Just as he turned his back toward you, he lowered his head to check the books in his arms and spoke. You noticed his hair brushed over his eyes.

“Have a good night, y/n.”

“You too.”

And so, not too long after you were sitting in the Ravenclaw common room. The tall walls lined with books from all over, old and new. Blue and bronze decorated the entire space, and the white walls stood elegantly. Exhausted and weary, but not tired enough to sleep so you just hung yourself on an armchair as Seungmin read on the floor beside you. You groaned as your head rested on the arm of the chair. Your leg draped over the opposite arm. You squeezed your eyes shut and sighed.

“Was working with him that bad?” Seungmin pulled his brows together, setting his book down and twisting around to look at you. You looked down at him, cross-legged on the floor and staring up at you. Shaking your head, you sighed again and just laid there for a moment.

“No, it wasn’t. But well, I don’t know. He’s odd.” You tried to explain, but the weariness throughout your body was impeding on your ability to think properly.

“Real descriptive.” He smiled and leaned his back against the foot of the armchair. “So, then he’s weird?”

“Well, no, but he’s not...normal? Not like it’s a bad thing, but it’s just, like he’s hiding something? I don’t know, Seungmin, like sometimes I see him and he looks so cold. And sometimes he’s so charismatic, you know?” You exasperatedly waved your hands to try to explain better, but Seungmin wasn’t even looking. He was listening, though, since he hummed thoughtfully. You continued, “I don’t know how to put it, but I can just sense something off about him. The more I think about it, the more he confuses me. You just can’t tell right away.”

Seungmin leans his head again the chair, “You’re thinking about him an awful lot.”

“Because he’s confusing.” You whined. “And now I gotta work with him for the next...oh I don’t know, a month? And it’s just going to confuse me more, it’s intellectual torture, Seungmin.”

“Oh, poor you.” Seungmin faux pouted, then let out a little laugh, “Are you sure you aren’t just, curious about him? Maybe he’s only confusing to you because you want to get to know him better. Mysteries always intrigued you.”

You pondered his words for a while, a frown settling onto your face. The sun had finally set and the only light in the common room was from the little lanterns spread about, gifting the refined room with warm orange light. Maybe Seungmin was right? But that couldn’t be the only reason to be so confused about Hyunjin. You were a naturally curious person, always have been, so it’s not impossible. In the end, you decided to drop the topic and try to go to sleep.

“Well, whatever.” You sat up and ruffled Seungmin’s hair up, “I’ll be going to bed now.”

Seungmin swatted your hand away and attempted to smooth his hair down, but it was too late. You snicker at him and stand up, making your way across the common room towards the girls' dorms. You called out, tiredly leaning onto the cold, stone walls “Goodnight, Minnie.”

“Yea, see ya.” Seungmin yawned and lifted a hand.

∎∎∎

A whole week after beginning the project, and you and Hyunjin were well on the way to making the potion. It was going very well, and in your opinion, you were beginning to befriend Hyunjin. Despite his eccentricities, he was charming to be around. It didn’t surprise you that he tended to get along with most people. While he had his moments, be it a bad mood or whatever, you tried not to dwell on it too much.

Especially since the Amortentia was looking fantastic. The potion research paper and data were all gathered and written down. All that was left was the actual brewing and then the after paper. Fun.

So, after school for four days a week, you and Hyunjin brew the Amortentia in the potions room. Which was where you were heading to, the tapping of your footsteps echoing in the spacious stone halls. The chittering of a few students accompanied the background noise. Still, you figured most students were enjoying their free, after-school leisure time and weren’t trying to wander the halls. Unlike you. Not like you minded much. You’d actually be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to this time spent with Hyunjin, the two of you actually got along quite well.

When you arrived to the potions room, you pushed the heavy wood door open with one hand while your other carried the supplies. When your eyes shifted up, the simple yet comical sight made you bark out a laugh. You experienced a short bout of Deja Vu. Because what you found was Hyunjin standing plainly in front of the cauldron, just looking down into it. He wasn’t in any sort of natural pose, nor was he leaning his weight anywhere. Hyunjin was just standing there, arms at his sides, and looking down at the caldron as if he didn’t know what to do.

He reminded you of a sim. Like from the muggle computer games.

And it amused you very very much.

“You look like a sim!” You laughed delightfully, closing the door behind you.

Hyunjin looked at you, brows pulled together in obvious confusion. He still stood in the default sim pose. “A what?”

“A sim!” You snickered, “Like when they don’t have any instructions.”

And Hyunjin just stared at you as if you were mad. He shifted his weight onto one foot and crossed his arms, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

You shot him a sympathetic smile and wiped a fake tear from your eye, really playing up the dramatic act in that moment. “Ah, that’s right. You, my friend, are a pureblood and unknowing of muggle luxuries. What a shame.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “That doesn’t answer my question, what the hell is a sim? Like, a simulator? What kind of simulators do muggles run?”

The boy looked perplexed. It amused you.

You laid your books down on the table next to the cauldron and took out a couple quills. “Nope, it’s a uh, a game. Like on the computer so it’s digital and doesn’t have any real world effects.”

“What’s a computer?” Hyunjin looked intrigued now, tilting his head like a puppy with his soft brown puppy eyes. Why did this guy have to be so good-looking? It wasn’t good for your emotional capacities, aka your heart. You sighed.

“You have a lot to learn about the muggle world.” Shaking your head, you stirred the potion in the cauldron. “It’s a shame cause all of it really had progressed quite far.”

“Yea, but they don’t have magic, how advanced can they really b-”

You jumped, twirling 180 degrees to face Hyunjin behind you and cutting him off with a gasp, “You don’t know about memes!”

“What the fuck is a memes??”

Oh, you had so much to teach him about muggles. Which is what you did, and to your pleasant surprise, he seemed interested. He asked a lot of questions, which made you quite happy to explain to him. You rambled on about the muggle world as Hyunjin kept an open ear, all while beginning the brewing for the Amortentia. While muggles aren't as controversial to Slytherins as they used to be, many Slytherin and pureblood enthusiasts still turn their nose up at them.

Hyunjin, you were glad, was not one of them.

The first thing you taught Hyunjin was about gum of all things. You happened to have a pack on you and offered him some mint gum. You told him tons of muggles chewed it, but usually never swallowed it. He seemed a little confused at first. He didn’t complain and still seemed to like it though.

“Okay, so...today we added the ashwinder eggs and a handful of rose thorns” You read off of the instructions. “The potion needs to sit before we do much else with it, so we can continue brewing in about an hour. Then it has to sit for a whole nother day.”

You read over the specific instructions one more time to make sure and check yourself. While the potions ingredients were easily obtainable at Hogwarts, the procedures for it were incredibly tedious.

Hyunjin pulled a face mockingly, “Stir potion rigidly for ten and a half turns, let sit for five minutes before putting in sixteen rose thorns, blah blah blah.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” You nudged him and rolled your eyes, “don’t forget who had to get the ingredients because the bat spleens made you too squeamish.”

“You can’t blame me, those are disgusting.” Hyunjin stuck his tongue out and scrunched his nose, just by remembering the smell in the supply cabinet. He sat down and made himself comfortable, throwing his leg around the back of it so he straddled the chair. He rested his chin on it and he stared at you. “I’m bored.”

You climbed onto the table, next to the cauldron and plopped down on it. Your legs hung in the air and you just shrugged at him. “There isn’t much to do other than wait.”

“Earlier…” Hyunjin began, a hint of wonderment in his voice. “You were talking about muggle games and what they do for fun. Continue with that.”

You smiled, “Well, that’s a broad topic…”

“Oh, let’s play the one. Um… Dare and Truth?” Hyunjin tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows, then nodded to himself.

“Truth or Dare.”

“Same thing.”

Hyunjin surprised you in many ways, but you never expected to be playing truth or dare with the boy. Despite his slight confusion on how to play, it was a fun time and you ended up playing until the end. A lot more fun than you expected, actually. You’ve discovered Hyunjin was quite dramatic and a bit of a scaredy cat, refusing to partake in some of the more out-there dares you suggested. So, you were lenient on the dares since he was a newbie. Although, halfway into the hour, the game started to sound more like Would You Rather since there’s only so much two people could do with Truth or Dare.

Admittedly, you found Hyunjin very charming. He was distant in many ways, but still kind and charismatic. And oftentimes, you found yourself laughing with him. It surprised you how well the two of you connected.

“So…” Hyunjin hummed, taking his time to think of a question. “Would you rather...live as a muggle or a wizard for the rest of your life?”

You opened your mouth, then closed if after a second to think. Off the top of your head, you were about to say wizard, hands down. But as a muggle-born, your whole childhood was spent in the muggle world. Your entire family were muggles, and almost everything you knew was muggle. You loved the wizarding world, but you would most certainly feel homesick. “Um...muggle.”

Hyunjin looked surprised, “Why? That means no magic.”

He seemed perplexed, but you simply shrugged, “I love the muggle world. It’s where I grew up and where everything I know is. My family are muggles...I don’t think I could leave that behind.”

Hyunjin nodded thoughtfully, “It sounds amazing how they live so efficiently without magic…”

“It’s not as archaic as it sounds.” You laughed, “Muggles are actually very innovative. Now it’s my turn to ask you something.”

“Shoot. Oh, can I have another piece of gum?” He asked before you threw him another piece. He’s recently addicted to the mint-flavored gum you’ve been handing out. He wasn’t a big fan of gum before you, but now it just seems like he constantly asks you. The wizarding world does have gum, but it’s somewhat different from muggle gum. You guessed Hyunjin just preferred it more.

“So, would you rather risk your life for someone you love or have somebody risk their life out of love for you?” You smirked. Leaning back on the palms of your hands, you shifted; your bottom was getting uncomfortable from sitting on the tabletop for so long.

Hyunjin went silent for a moment, his expression dropped significantly. It looked conflicted and he slumped to rest his chin on the chairs back. Your smug smirk is wiped off your face as you realize you may have hit a sensitive topic for him, but you stayed silent and waited for his answer. He took his time, but he eventually looked up at you, sincerity crystal clear as he gave you your answer.

“I would rather die for love.”

The look of pure determination in his eyes caught you completely off guard. Your innocent question was answered thoughtfully by Hyunjin, who seemed to have strong feelings about it. At a loss for words, you blinked a couple times. You swallowed a sudden lump in your throat as you felt your heart thump wildly in your chest. These feelings were an unexpected turn of events, but after another moment, you smiled at him.

“That’s really endearing, I’m sure the love you feel is strong if you’re willing to risk your life for them.” You grinned warmly, then you pondered wistfully “I wonder if I could do anything like that...how that would feel to love someone so much in a moment.”

Hyunjin tore his eyes away from you, “Yea, I wonder what that feels like as well.”

∎∎∎

You sat across from Hyunjin, who was being very pouty at that moment.

Your arms were crossed, “Come on, get to work.”

He rested his chin on the table and looked at you with those big, stupid puppy dog eyes. “No.”

“We are literally in the library to do this stupid project,” You lightly whacked his shoulder, “now work.”

“I’m tired.” He whined and put his head down. His arms were splayed out on the table and pushed the numerous textbooks out of the way, ultimately messing up the study space. Hyunjin was not an easy person to motivate.

It was very late. The two of you have been in the library for four hours already, and for some reason, the Amortentia turned a weird green color. You were trying to find a way to remedy it without restarting the whole potion because it takes so long to brew. So you gathered as many potions books you could find and dropped them onto the table. All while Hyunjin attempted to work on the essay that was due with this project as well. And he was not happy with it.

“Y/n, I’m nearly dyslexic. Why did you make ME write the essay?? You’re the Ravenclaw.” He sat up and complained, throwing the quill onto the table. The light plink sound it made caused you to look up from the current book you were reading. You sighed and frowned.

“Look, I know you’re frustrated,” You then held up your textbook to face him. Allowing him to see the tragedy that was the potions book, it had itty bitty font with such confusing wording that even Shakespeare would cringe at it. “But do you REALLY want to read this horror story of a textbook. The dude who wrote this must’ve really been up his high horse. It really just sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo without a dictionary. He really just thinks big words and long sentences means better writing. Yikes.”

“Ah, come on it can’t be that bad.”

You gave him a look and handed him the textbook. “Okay, how about you read for a while and I’ll write?”

“Deal.” Hyunjin took the textbook and slid the parchment paper over to you, flicking it over carelessly and clearly happy to be rid of it. He obviously didn’t care much for this essay. You chuckled and shook your head.

You began by reading over what he already wrote, and it wasn’t bad, you just had to correct a few things before you started writing. Hyunjin only sat in stubborn silence, brows lowered in concentration. It’s wasn’t even ten minutes later when Hyunjin slammed the book down in frustration, “Listen, I don’t consider myself dumb. But what the hell does ‘DEFENESTRATE’ MEAN!!!???”

You calmly looked up from the paper, “The act of throwing something out of a window.”

“I’m about to throw this book out the window.” He ran a hand through his hair and took a long, heavy sigh. “Let me read it for like, ten more minutes and then we can switch back?”

“Yeah yeah, just let me know when. I bet you only last five.” You smiled and challenged him. Then got back to work, finding him a little cute.

“Yeah I’ll prove you wrong.” He muttered and began reading, this time with a dictionary on hand.

Time passed quickly, and soon ten minutes became twenty and you were getting suspicious. It was getting late and the library would be closing soon. The lights were dimming significantly as long shadows loomed through the library rows. Only about halfway done with the essay you take a quick break to see Hyunjin nose deep in the book. The worn leather bound cover clenched tight in his slender fingers as he looked slightly distressed. His hair was more ruffled up, probably from him running his hands through it a few too many times. But his expression was concerning, his lips were pulled taught and there was a heavy crease between his eyebrows. His eyes, especially, looked troubled and worried.

“Hey Hyunjin…” You called to him, concern lacing your voice.

“Hm...?” He didn’t take his nose out from the book, eyes still scanning the words of it.

“You can take a break, it’s okay. You just look...I don’t know, upset.”

Hyunjin finally looked up from the book and lowered it, you saw him swallow. His eyes darted away from you.

“What’s wrong?”

He looked at you intensely, as if he were analyzing you. Judging you. It made you fidget in your chair, shifting your weight once or twice under his burning gaze. After he looked away again, he began packing up. Quickly shoving the textbook into his bag with the rest of his supplies. He stood up, frazzled and unnerved, “I’ll check this book out, let’s get out of here and then I’ll explain.”

“Hyunjin, you’re scaring me.” You looked at him suspiciously, slowly packing your stuff up as well.

“It’s okay, I just think...I just think I know what the problem is now.” Hyunjin grabbed your hand and guided you out of the library. He took the lead since he seemed like he wanted to go somewhere specific. He was on alert and a little jumpy, walking quickly. So, you didn’t say much more and allowed him to just show you what he wanted to. Soon enough though he calmed down a little and slowed down his pace, now walking side by side with you. You were clearly confused and a little anxious, but his hand in yours calmed you a little. You weren’t sure if he just forgot to pull his hand away or if he held it deliberately, he was frazzled so it made it hard to tell. You decided not to bring it to attention.

Eventually, he pulled you around a corner and into a room you've never seen before. The door was designed differently from the other entries in the castle, it was larger. Hyunjin quickly shut it behind you and seemed to relax a little. His shoulders visibly relaxed and he took a deep breath, eyes closed.

After admiring the room, it was small. Just about half the size of a classroom but still enough room to not feel suffocated. The room was a little plain but had furniture in the middle, just a couple love seats and a coffee table. After deciding it wasn't anything special except for a lounge room, you looked to Hyunjin. You took a step towards him, "Hyunjin?"

He opened his eyes and distanced himself from the door to walk past you and sunk into one of the chairs. He motioned for you to sit across from him. And you did, waiting patiently for him to explain.

"Um...so nothings really wrong. But…" he began but trailed off soon after. As if he wasn't quite sure what to say. He folded his hands in front of him and looked to his feet.

“Then what was that all about?” You leaned forward, concerned and not quite sure of yourself. “You suddenly rushed out of the library, half-pulled me through the castle, and now we’re in a room I never knew even existed in Hogwarts.”

“Oh! About that, this is called the Room of Requirement.” Hyunjin gained a little more confidence. Seemingly to stall the inevitable conversation, he was so desperately trying to avoid. “It only appears to students who need it, and it changes depending on what the need is. And right now...I just needed a private space to talk.”

You nodded, still confused, “So it just...appears sometimes?”

“Exactly.” Hyunjin nodded and fell silent.

It stayed silent, and you just looked at him expectantly. He avoided eye contact and looked uncomfortable, shifting in his seat and fiddling with his hands.

“Hey Hyunjin…” You called, and in the most comforting voice you could, “you don’t have to tell me now if it’s this distressing for you. It’s okay, as long as you’re comfortable and when you calm dow-”

“No no, I... I want to.” He interrupted you and shook his head, but he still looked unsure of himself. Despite that, he composed himself better and calmed down. “I’m just...nervous? Maybe I’m scared.”

“You sound like you don’t know.” You said quietly.

“I’m the reason why the Amortentia isn’t working.” He said, eyes avoiding you and palms sweaty.

“Is that all?” You seemed dumbfounded, “Hyunjin, if that’s the problem then that's okay! It’s not that big of a deal, this is only a bonus project and even then, it’s not like we were going to use it anyway.”

“No no, there’s more to it. So much more.” He said delicately, choosing his words carefully. “I…”

His eyebrows furrowed as if he wasn’t sure how to continue his train of thought. He tilted his head and continued, “Do you know what happens when a child is conceived under the effects of Amortentia?”

You nodded, “Yea, the child won’t be able to feel love. That’s why Voldemort...couldn’t.”

Hyunjin frowned but nodded. “That’s right. The child can’t feel love. That-that doesn’t mean they’re inherently evil, but the feeling of love just doesn’t come to them.”

“Okay, but why did you bring this up? Voldemort’s be dead for decades.” You were thoroughly confused now. Was Hyunjin concerned about the consequences of brewing this potion? Was the potion being brewed wrong? What did he read?

“Well, turns out...if a person who was conceived under Amortentia, tries to brew it, it won’t work. The Amortentia will have the opposite effect instead...not ‘love,’ but disgust. And it turns a green color...” Hyunjin explained, much calmer now, but the nervous glint in his eyes were still present. His long fingers were fidgety and you noticed his Adam's apple bob.

“Wait, but our potion is…” Your eyes widened in realization, and your lips formed an o shape. Your eyes quickly turned sympathetic. “Oh Hyunjin…"

You quickly reassured him that it was okay and went to sit beside him. You took his one hand and held it between your own, your thumb rubbing reassuring circles over his skin. While his palms were a little shaky, he calmed down a little and proceeded to steady his breathing. Hyunjin finally got the courage to look at you, he lifted his head gently as he gauged you from behind his fringe. And you smiled, your eyes showed kindness and acceptance. You realized this explained so much about him. This was why he didn’t smell anything in the Amortentia, why he felt so cold at times, and why he wasn’t close to many people.

Hyunjin visibly relaxed, “I was afraid that you’d think I’m a monster.”

“Never, Hyunjin, I could never think that.”

“You’re unique then...most people do.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows pulled together, a sad look crossed his face as his lips tugged down. He was reminiscing, but they obviously weren’t happy memories.

You squeezed his hand in reassurance, “I don’t, and others shouldn’t either. Hyunjin, you are absolutely not a monster and people who think that just don’t understand. They...are not the end all be all.”

He nodded and smiled at you, “You know, I’m really glad I’ve met you… This might sound weird, but I don’t think I’ve felt this close to somebody before.”

“And what’s close to you?” You tilted your head, wondering what feelings he felt for you if not love.

“I can’t feel love, but it’s more like trust.” Hyunjin nodded to himself, his gaze towards the ground, “It’s like trust and safety. And I’m comfortable and happy. And well, it’s not like I don’t feel happy around our classmates, I think I get along with most people really well. But it’s kind of like...I couldn’t care less about them. And I don’t say that like I don’t see them as people, I do. But to get myself to care about them and what goes on in their lives, I just don’t.”

“Then, how am I any different?” You asked, still curious about what you did differently.

And Hyunjin only shrugged, “I just feel more comfortable with you, most people tend to say I’m cold when they try to get close to me. They would get offended that I don’t seem interested, but you just...treated me normally. You didn’t push anything and just treated me as you would anyone else. You did it with a kind heart too. I guess you could say you were very loving in a way. I think it’s something I want and seeing you in love helps me. It lets me see what being in love is like.”

“M-me, in love?” You stuttered, caught off guard at Hyunjin's sudden statement. You weren’t entirely sure what he was talking about. Maybe it was Seungmin, or perhaps it was that he noticed you were catching feelings for him. You really hoped he didn’t notice.

Hyunjin chuckled, but it sounded sad. “The relationship you have with your friend, that other Ravenclaw, Seungmin. It’s very wholesome, anybody could see the amount of love and care the two of you have for each other. It’s natural and simplistic and... I don’t know. I guess I get a little jealous.”

Feeling your face redden in embarrassment just made you even more nervous. As your heart thumped loudly, you laughed nervously. And you tried to wave off Hyunjin’s words. “How do you know I love Seungmin? He’s my best friend, of course, I love him but-”

“Remember when you were sleep talking the other day?” Hyunjin’s devilish grin made your stomach drop. He was implying that...no.

“What did I say, I swear to god if you say anything to anybody you are a dead man.”

“Just that you’ve been wanting a date with the one and only Kim Seungmin at Hogsmeade. That’s all.” He teased. Which was conflicting since he seemed much more comfortable now, but he took the liberty to tease the hell out of you.

Immediately you covered your face and buried your head in your hands. Every time you attempt to confront your feelings for Seungmin, you get too confused and flustered. So you just tended to not dwell on it, mainly since it could ruin the friendship. You didn’t want that.

“Sorry sorry,” Hyunjin was very amused and ruffled your hair up, “I’ll stop, but only because if I continue, you’d shut down completely.”

You grumbled and rolled your eyes, “You’re not wrong.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you, and you thought about what Hyunjin must’ve gone through in his life, it definitely couldn’t have been easy. He was scared to tell you, and you could only imagine what happened to him before to make him that nervous. It made you a little sad. You also thought about what he said about feeling jealous. He obviously wants to feel love, he wants to love somebody but physically can’t. All because of some stupid love potion. If there was a way to help him, you would.

“Hey,” Hyunjin called out gently, “what’s it like?”

“Hm?”

“What’s it like to love somebody?”

“Oh, well, it’s probably the most comforting feeling I know. And when you’re with them, the world seems a little brighter. You focus on the little things they do, and it just makes you fall even more in love, you just can’t look away. You just feel like you’re on cloud nine and you don’t want to come down. They’re on your mind a lot, and it’s a little stressful. But only because you want the best for them and for them to be happy. I would die for somebody I loved.” You thought hard and soon after the words just spilled from your mouth, you thought about your family and friends as you described it. Trying to put it into words as best as you could. And Hyunjin only nodded thoughtfully, otherwise staying silent.

“People care about you Hyunjin, I care about you.” You urged, “I hope you remember that.”

“I will, I promise y/n.”

∎∎∎

Back in the potions room, you and Hyunjin were attempting to fix the Amortentia. And he, of course, asked for mint gum.

“Okay, so, as long as I don’t touch it anymore, it should come out okay.” Hyunjin was reading the textbook, “The potion should go back to normal by the time it’s finished.”

“Sounds great.” You stirred the green Amortentia, the color was a far cry from the pearly sheen it was supposed to have. But you were going to trust Hyunjin on this and just continue brewing. So you threw in another ingredient and just went with it. “So, what now?”

Hyunjin shrugged, “Let’s play a game. Truth or Dare?”

You perked up, your lips tugged up, “Absolutely. But you can’t say no to dares anymore, got it?”

He grimaced for a split second, nose scrunching up, “Ah fine, but that rule applies to you too.”

You flashed him a toothy grin, “Easy.”

And you played. Usually, truth or dare with only two people wasn’t that fun, but Hyunjin seemed to enjoy it. And while you guys played, he asked about muggle things as you both chewed on mint gum. It was simple and it was fun, just like how it’s always been when you were with Hyunjin. You laughed as you finally got Hyunjin to participate in the dares he originally refused to do. And Hyunjin got a kick out of teasing the hell out of you. A while passed and the atmosphere calmed down a bit, it was your turn.

“Truth or Dare.”

“Um...dare.” You smiled.

Hyunjin got quiet as he thought, then a mischievous grin pulled at his lips. “Kiss me.”

“....?” You stared at him as you try to remember if you heard that right. “I... sorry what?”

“I dare you,” Hyunjin repeated as if talking to a child, the teasing glint in his eyes, “to kiss me.”

“You’re kidding,” you whined, and your cheeks began to heat up, “you’re just teasing me…”

“No, well, yes. But it’s your rule.” Hyunjin seemed to be serious about this, “You can’t back down now.”

Your eyes trailed down to his lips, then snapped back up to his eyes. Completely unaware of what his goals for this were, you were pouting and felt conflicted. On one hand, you were catching feelings for this boy, and they were getting stronger by the day. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to kiss him. But on the other hand, you also didn’t know why he wanted to kiss you, and there was that tiny little voice that reminded you about Seungmin. It was at the back of your conscious but it spoke up and let itself be known. You felt your palms beginning to grow sweaty and your mouth dry up, your leg began to bounce.

Hyunjin noticed your hesitation and took your hand in his, he scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around you. He was incredibly close to you now, and as he leaned down, he was closing the distance. You were hip to hip, his one hand holding yours and the other pulled you closer. Your heart felt as if it were beating out of your chest and you were positive your ears were as red as an apple. His eyes locked onto yours, “I’ll make this easier for you, but you can’t back down. Okay?”

You swallowed nervously and fluttered your eyelashes as you looked up at him and nodded. You mumbled a quick agreement before pressing your lips to his, bringing your one hand up to cup his cheek. You were nervous, but Hyunjin was comforting for you. His touch was gentle as he held you and kissed back. The kiss was soft and delicate. Your lips moved together in just the right way. And when you finally pulled back for a breather, Hyunjin leaned back in for more. Prolonging the kiss and tightening his grip on your waist. Your hand moved to the base of his head, threading your fingers through his hair. The kiss became deeper and more fervent, the delicate touches were replaced. And you stayed like that, relishing the sudden development in your relationship, neither of you seemingly wanting to let go.

And when you finally did, you pressed your forehead against his, breathing heavily. Your eyes were on his lips, one of his best features in your opinion. Hyunjin chuckled lightly, “I enjoyed that.”

He got your attention, and you looked up into his warm eyes, and you smiled back. “Me too.”

In Hyunjin's arms, you basked in the aftermath of the kiss, and you realized one thing. Your heart was captured by this boy, and he wasn’t going to give it back. This gentle, sensitive, amazing boy had your heart now, and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. After weeks of slowly building your feelings up, he swept it from your hands and held it carefully. As you locked eyes with Hyunjin, all your feelings were communicated to him. Feelings of love, caring, and understanding. Hyunjin understood completely, and as if a final promise to you, to keep your heart safe with him, he pressed his warm lips to your forehead. A sweet, gentle kiss to protect you as best he could. And you would like to believe Hyunjin gave a piece of himself to you as well.

And then you understood. Your heart was too far gone to go back to the way it was before.

a/n: WOW it’s finally done, and it’s only part one hahahaha. I have a lot planned for this and i reaaaaally love this. I hope yall love it as well, it took a lot of effort. And I’m kinda glad I got it out near Christmas, kinda like a gift :)

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travllingbunny · 5 years

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The 100: 6x10 Matryoshka

Yes, that last scene was one of the most emotional, powerful and beautiful scenes of the season and arguably the entire show. And we all have been talking about it, posting gifs and obsessing over it the whole week.

I doubt that I have anything substantial to add about it that others have not already pointed out, from the fact that this was the first time Bellamy has actually said “I need you” to Clarke (she has told him “I need you” and “We need each other” a few times, but he has never expressed his feelings through words like that), without any qualifiers like “we all need you”, but only mentioning that he and Clarke’s daughter need her; to the ironic foreshadowing from 6x02, when Bellamy, under the eclipse psychosis, got into Clarke’s face and told her “Maybe you haven’t noticed, Clarke, but I don’t need you anymore”(of course, it was obvious that he was just protesting too much). I sometimes have mixed feelings about the phrase “the head and the heart”, because it has been overused and misinterpreted in the fandom, and has led to me oversimplifications of both Clarke’s and Bellamy’s character. But it was used beautifully in this scene. And yes, Bellamy’s CPR skills are crap and he seemed to be massaging Clarke’s belly instead of restarting her heart (while mouth on mouth actually doesn’t matter much compared to restarting the heart – it just looks good on TV) – but it wasn’t the CRP that brought Clarke back, anyway. It was hearing Bellamy’s voice in her mind, passionately telling her that he needs her and wouldn’t let her go, that he couldn’t lose her again, and that she’s a fighter and needs to fight.

If there still people arguing that Bellarke is not an epic romance, it must be incredibly difficult to argue that after Bellamy has actually brought Clarke back to life with his love. In 6x07, Clarke gave up and was going to let Josephine have her body while she dies, after Josephine had made her believe that Bellamy had given up on her and already moved on from her death. She changed her mind later, prompted by the part of her mind that is her moral compass and voice of reason, embodied by her mindspace version of Monty. But she really got strength to fight and defeat Josephine after hearing Bellamy’s voice and knowing that he needs her and has fought for her, and after he gave her strength with his voice. Proving that love is not a weakness – it can be an incredible strength.

However, I also enjoyed the scene of Josephine and Gabriel’s reunion and goodbye that happened right before the Bellamy/Clarke reunion, the scenes in Clarke’s mindspace – which I was so glad to return – and all the Clarke and Josephine’s interactions. And, of course, Bellamy coming to save the day (in a very similar way as he did when he saved the Delinquents from the Mount Weather guards in season 2), and the awkward hug between him and Octavia.

This entire storyline is great enough to put Matryoshka among my favorite episodes. But, to be objective, I can’t give it a perfect score, because the other storyline in the episode – taking place in Sanctum – while also good, wasn’t as great, and missed some chances.

The title of this episode is one of the The 100’s best ones. Russian nesting dolls are a pretty good analogy for the way that each new iteration of a Prime has, in their mind, memories of all the previous lives.

More thoughts under the cut...

I loved Clarke’s snark about how much Sanctum guards suck. Because, well, they really do. They have obviously never needed to fight a really dangerous enemy, as the Primes are used to having all their people brainwashed and docile, and their only real enemy before the Earth people arrived, the Children of Gabriel, are also rather incompetent. As Josephine pointed out, they have never managed to kill any of the Primes. They seem to have just killed a few of the potential hosts. The Primes have, in fact, been better at killing each other, since Kaylee killed Josephine, Josephine killed Kaylee, and then had the entire Lee family wiped. (This makes me wonder about the lifespans of the Primes in their previous hosts. It doesn’t seem that most of them lived to old age, going by how many of them there were over the course of 211 years, which begs the question what the causes of death were. Illness? More “accidents” like the one Josephine VII died in?)

Clarke and Josephine’s interactions in this episode were lots of fun and even featured some funny moments (a rarity on The 100), with Clarke snarking at Josephine a lot. Their relationship turned into more of a frenemy one, as they started to see some of their similarities and had some sort of almost-bonding… which, of course, was not going to last. That was obvious even when Josephine was trying to convince Bellamy that she and Clarke were friends – which he didn’t buy. Still, it was fun to see Clarke and Josie arguing like roommates or even sisters annoyed when one is leaving her things in the other’s room.

So much in this episode focused on the history between Josie and Gabriel, such as when she and Clarke were in the hatch where Josie used to come for “research” – and to have some fun with Gabriel. It reminds me of season 1, when Clarke used to go and research Earth, first with Finn, and later with Bellamy, as they found the depot with the weapons. But, unlike Gabriel and Josie. they never got to have a drink and other things together.

I like the way they continued to use drawings/books as embodiments of Clarke’s and Josephine’s memories, respectively, with the image of books lying around in heaps in Clarke’s side of the ship, as their minds started merging and Josephine’s memories spilled into Clarke’s mind. She didn’t need to go into Josie’s side of the mindspace to see glimpses of her memories, most of them from scenes we have already seen – such as that Dave guy killing himself right in front of her; Russell killing her during the Red Sun eclipse; Josephine waking up in Brooke’s body; or scenes that had been referenced and that we were meant to see – Josephine convincing Tai and his wife to give up their baby son to be sacrificed to the gods, telling them that his spirit will be with the gods. This is a scene that was deleted from 6x07 (as confirmed on Twitter by the actress who played the mother), and I now I wish it had not been, since this subplot played such a big role in this episode, but seeing a few seconds of it, at least, made up for it to an extent.

It’s interesting that the drawings on the walls of Clarke’s mindspace room have changed significantly since the last time we saw them, in 6x07. I noticed it as soon as Clarke woke up in her mindspace, because the wall right behind her bed was completely different and, most obviously, featured a huge drawing of season 5/6 Bellamy, to Madi in shock collar. (Not to be confused with another drawing of the same scene of Madi in shock collar, next to a drawing of a smiling Madi, which was and still is on the wall to the left of the door.) Another new drawing on the same wall is the season 4 scene of Jasper showing the Arkadians the list, and there are other drawings that have been moved around. After rewatching the episode, I noticed a lot of other differences as well. See the screenshots for comparison in this post.

The fact they reworked the entire room for this episode suggests that the changing walls reflect the way that Clarke’s mind works - some memories are more prominent than others, or are brought back from her subconscious, and they also cluster in different ways. But the main reason the prop department made an effort to change the drawings was most likely because they wanted to focus on different images this time. So the scene of Clarke waking up immediately shows, most prominently, Bellamy next to Madi – which may mean that Clarke is now letting herself think of Bellamy more and in a different way, knowing he is trying so hard to save her and how much she means to him – unlike in 6x07, when she was scared to face him and afraid that he could never forgive her.

Another reason for the reworked walls is so Josephine and Clarke can focus on the drawing of Tondc after the bomb, which was already there in 6x07, but is now in a different place and larger, covering the entire wall opposite of Clarke’s bed. (More on that below.)

One of the reasons Josephine was such an effective villain is because she was a "shadow " character to Clarke, with both many similarities and sharp contrasts. Josie is, in many ways, what Clarke haters (in universe and in the fandom) say that Clarke is. The show seemed to purposefully play with the parallels between them, between the Lightbournes and the Griffins, while the Gabriel/Josephine relationship was played as a parallel and contrast to Bellamy/Clarke, especially throughout episodes 6x09 and 6x10, even down to the casting of all the actors who played the former two characters.

Episode 6x07 Nevermind was mostly focused on loss, grief and guilt. Clarke’s spirit was almost broken by her trauma and her guilt over the deaths she caused directly or indirectly, especially those of people close to her (e.g. blaming herself for Maya’s death and for Jasper’s downward spiral it caused), or even those she almost caused (Blodreina blaming her for the times she left Octavia to die, but also for her greatest regret, leaving Bellamy to die in Polis). We saw that her darkest place was about the trauma caused by the deaths of her lovers, Finn and Lexa, the primal traumas that Josephine referred to, and Clarke uncovered Josephine’s primal trauma, Dave’s suicide. While we don’t know for sure what previously happened between Josephine and Dave, the way those memories were paralleled made me think he was Josie’s Finn, so to speak. (If you don’t think that comparison is fitting, remember that Clarke rejected Finn once he made up his mind about her, that he turned into a stalker by season 2, did something terrible and basically caused his own death, which caused a lot of trauma to Clarke, and her first retreat into the “Love is weakness” mentality.)

But this time, Josephine’s memory that was focused one of her and Gabriel, which represents love and happiness for her. It is my second favorite scene of 6x10, and it isvery beautifully done, with the music and the cinematography giving it a dreamlike quality and conveying the romance between those two, which we hadn't seen much on screen even though it plays such an important role this season. (The choice of songs used on The 100 is always on point – and the song “Apocalypse” by Cigarettes After Sex is perfect for the show in general, and contributed a lot to making this scene what it was.) It felt romantic and dreamlike because it is Josephine's happy place and a memory she didn't want to give up - but we were also reminded of the disturbing aspects of it - through Gabriel’s obvious discomfort and guilt (he didn’t want to be brought back, but after having killed at least 46 people to bring Josie back, he couldn’t have held it against her that she did the same) and the fact that neither of them were in their original body - reminding us of the fact that many innocent people were murdered to make those 160 years of romance and happiness possible.

Josephine looked lost in her memory, which made Clarke look at her in a different way, seeing some humanity in her, as it is the first time Josephine showed genuine love for someone. Clarke easily empathizes with people and is usually inclined to see the good in them (though she had almost lost that ability, as we saw in Eden: “There are no good guys”.), so she saw something she could relate to - it's no coincidence that she went on to believe, for a moment, that Josephine could get a second chance to be better.

Josephine: I wasn’t always like this.

Clarke: Trust me, I know the feeling. I mean, look around you.

Clarke: We can let the bad things that happened to us define who we are, or we can define who we are.

The scene of Tondc are the bomb are an easy visual way to convey the destruction that Clarke ended up causing while trying to save people she cared about - but it’s also arguably the first morally bad choice she has made, and the first time she genuinely started doubting herself and losing her moral certainty. It was also her letting a bunch of strangers die (and putting Bellamy’s sister at risk, which he blamed her for during their confrontation in 3x05) mostly to protect Bellamy. (Lexa, who convinced Clarke to do it, justified it with strategic reasons, which were her motivation, and, of course, it was also, by extension, about making sure that the mission of saving Delinquents from Mount Weather continues. But, for Clarke, it was mostly about removing a threat to Bellamy.) Is it meaningful that this is the bad memory Clarke brings Josephine’s attention to, right after seeing a memory of the romance between Gabriel and Josephine, which happened right after Josephine had brought Gabriel back, after he had brought her back - which meant murdering innocent people (two of the many) so the two of them could get their 160 years of happiness? Was Clarke thinking that maybe she could move on from the bad things like Tondc (and Mount Weather etc.) and do good in the future while also finding happiness, as Monty told them to?

And she was ready to extend that hope even to Josephine, someone she had previously seen killing babies and decided was so evil that she definitely needed to be stopped. For a moment, she thought Josephine could be stopped by some other way than destroying her. Wrongly, as it turns out - Josephine was defined by bad things in her past, as the last thing she did was try to kill Clarke in the exact same way Russell had killed her 236 years before, even saying the same lines: “Sanctum is mine”. Selfish, immoral people can fall in love and have relatable feelings, but they are still selfish and immoral.

One could say that Josie did feel responsibility for “her people”, as her reason for not letting Clarke live was because she thought Clarke would kill everyone in Sanctum. But her “people” she cares about really only consist of 12 8 people. We know she never cared about the rest of the people in Sanctum and never saw hosts as anything but bodies to be used, black blood gene carriers as anything but breeding cattle, and nulls are useless and disposable, or even vermin to be exterminated.

And no, Clarke would not kill everyone in Sanctum – not if there was any other way to save her people and stop the Primes. But people like Josephine are inclined to project and see the worst in other people.

Mindspace Clarke was in her season 5 gear this entire episode (unlike in 6x07, when she kept switching between looks from different periods of the show), but it’s interesting that she appeared as early season 5 Clarke, with pink streaks in her hair, when she fought Josephine in the end.

Eliza Taylor has really been knocking it out of the park all season, and she was fantastic again at the end of this episode – first playing Josephine in her reunion/goodbye with Gabriel, and later playing Clarke in her reunion with Bellamy. Chuku Modu was also excellent, and both of them did a great job convincing us that their characters have had a 236-long history, even though this was their first scene together. What made the ending even stronger was the parallel and contrast between Gabriel telling Josephine he still loved herm but that they had had their time, and he had to let her go; and Bellamy refusing to let Clarke go. Gabriel had to kill Josie, after having been the one to revive her the first time, while Bellamy brought Clarke back to life. The important thing there is that letting Josephine keep Clarke’s body – as Josie suggested to Gabriel, with her tempting suggestion that they use another life and then grow old and die together, taking out their mind drives - would have been morally wrong, while bringing Clarke back was the right thing to do. Gabriel had done a lot of bad things in the past – for over 160 years, he killed a lot of people to bring Josie back, he created the system of bodysnatching, and lived for a century as one of the Primes, before having his moral awakening. But better late than never. The look on his face as Clarke and Bellamy were hugging was a mix of many different feelings – he could easily relate to them, even though he had never met them before, and see the similarity with his determination to bring back the person he loved, and there was some sadness and maybe envy at seeing something he had but wouldn’t have anymore – but he also knew that, indeed, he and Josephine had had so much more time than regular people ever get, and should now let other people live and experience happiness.

It is nice to see Octavia acting like the old Octavia of season 2, with love and concern and happiness for her brother and for Clarke. But Bellamy’s awkwardness around his sister makes perfect sense, because he still doesn’t know anything about Octavia’s change of heart and personal growth, and she still hasn’t actually done anything to atone and show that she’s changed. He wasn’t willing to hug her back, but he did give her a little pat on the back, because he doesn’t really hate her, but you can’t just erase everything that happened between them.

Josephine is definitely dead now. As Gaia pointed out, the mind cannot be in two places at once. Just as there has been no copy of Clarke’s mind in the Flame, because she left it and Clarke’s mind has been in her own body since - Josephine stayed in the neural mesh instead of returning to the mind drive, so there can’t be a copy of her in the drive.

Meanwhile, in Sanctum…

Abby and Raven didn’t bring any reinforcements from the ship, because they had no idea about the things that have happened in Sanctum while they were away (Madi killing Miranda and attacking Delilah, Jordan’s injury, Russell arresting all the Earth people, Bellamy taking Josephine to CoG territory, or even the fact Clarke had been bodysnatched). They finally learned about Clarke’s “death”. Unfortunately, with the events happening so fast, we didn’t get to focus much on their reactions.

After reading the released script pages for the scene between the Earthkru in captivity, I think that it was a big mistake to cut some of the lines – Miller’s and Raven’s exchange about Jordan, and Raven’s comment that she is sure Clarke will also be fine, because she has Bellamy to save her. Both of these would have gone a long way to show 1) that our protagonists do care about Jordan and are worried about him and 2) that Raven does care about Clarke, which a lot of the fandom is doubting this season.

Raven seems to have had some subtle character development – she’s not inclined to be mean and judgmental to people as she was in the first few episodes, but is taking a cue from Kane and trying to be gentler and more compassionate as she talks to Murphy about him screwing up and about the importance of morality. (Are many Arkers religious? The idea of avoiding hell by doing morally right things certainly sounds like a religious one.)

Why are some fans now dissing Abby for her anger at Murphy? Fans wanted to see Abby upset over Clarke’s death, and now we see it, that’s not good, either? When she learned about Murphy’s betrayal, Abby must have also realized that it was Josephine, not Clarke, who convinced her to go with the plan of the Primes and put Kane in another body, so she’s aware that Murphy helped Josephine manipulate her, pretending to be Clarke and saying she’s doing it all out of concern for her. Of course she’s furious.

Emori is again trying to defend Murphy, by presenting his actions in the best possible light, but not lying: “He was trying to protect us all. When he learned she was alive, he did the right thing… Eventually.”

One of the things I love the most about the Sanctum plot is this episode is that it showed that Russell is really the worst. I’ve hated him from 6x03, but many fans believed he would turn out to be not-such-a-bad-guy. He looks sad as he does bad things, but then he does them anyway, and justifies his actions, and while he may appear less ruthless than his wife or daughter, in the end, he is just a bigger hypocrite. He is a megalomaniac who thinks he is better than anyone else. And oh, God, could he be more hypocritical? Dude actually thinks he and the Primes are somehow morally superior to the Earth people, calls them criminals and think he is doing justice by burning them at the stake. Justice for what, exactly? Because they didn’t take revenge when Russell and his wife tried to murder and bodysnatched one of them? When he (as he believed) murdered Clarke, he thought “Sorry” was good enough, but when Madi, a child grieving for her mother, lashed out in revenge and killed one of the Primes (who can come back), this is a crime that he needs to get “justice” for by executing one of the people who had nothing to do with it? Then he decides to burn them all, because one of his own people killed Simone after learning the truth about them, realizing that he had let them take and kill his baby son? I guess, in his mind, no one except the Primes qualifies as real people? (And not even all the Primes matter. He doesn’t seem to care that his wife and daughter wiped four drives and murdered the Lee family for good.)

Unlike Russell, who was obviously never going to turn around and be a good guy, Ryker is a character torn between doing the right thing, and being loyal to his family or ‘family’. (Priya is his mother, but Russell and the others are also the only family he’s had for 200 years, after he arrived to Sanctum as a teenage boy.) Which makes him wishy washy (although for understandable reasons) and a character whose actions can’t be always predicted.

When Echo told him: ‘Echo and Ryker “Admit it, it feels good to be on the right side”, she may have been talking from her own experience. But I’d expect someone like Echo, an experienced spy / assassin, to be more suspicious and careful and not so trusting as she was with him.

It’s very fitting that Russell is burning people at the stake (just as Cadogan, another cult leader, did) – as this was the traditional method of execution of “heretics”.

The episode was very tense until the moment when we learned all the Earthkru were going to be burned. All the tension was gone - one character dying is something that seemed likely, but all of them? That was obviously not gonna happen.

But poor Tai did get burned. And Ryker must be feeling pretty guilty now – he initially caused Tai to turn against the Primes by telling him the truth about them, although he didn’t predict Tai would kill Simone; and then he stopped Echo from assassinating Russell, who went on to burn Tai at the stake.

Echo remarked that Gaia only cared about Madi, even after she had banished her. But the truth is slightly more complicated – as a Flamekeeper who deeply believes in the Grounder faith, she cares only about Madi as the Commander, but she is also ready to consider killing Madi, if it saves people from a Chaotic Evil Commander, Sheidheda 2.0 (who was apparently so bad that it would make people long for the days of Blodreina). The relationship between Commanders and their Flamekeepers is complicated, and we learn that Sheidheda murdered three of his Flamekeepers (so, two more after his mentor), until he was killed by the fourth one. But the whole thing begs the question, even more than before, why does anyone think that putting the Flame into people, especially children, is a good idea? The idea is to help new Commanders use the knowledge and wisdom of the previous ones – but that doesn’t really work if one of them is incredibly evil, does it? All this time, we have only seen the Flame do something helpful once, and that was in 5x12 when it helped Clarke deal with her emotional issues. Other than that, it doesn’t seem to have helped a lot (especially with the Grounders somehow forgetting all the technology, in spite of having Becca’s memories). Other than that, we know that the previous Commanders were against Lexa abandoning the “blood must have blood” policy, and were not the ones to stop Madi from killing all the prisoners of war in 5x13. So, is it really worth keeping it, when it presents such a huge danger?

This is why I like this Dark Madi storyline – it really shows the dangers of making a child Commander and letting them have too much power, which season 5 glossed over, because Madi ascending was a means to an end. Now, contrary to what some fans have been complaining about, no one who is currently on the planet, other than Madi and Gaia herself, actually cares but the Grounder religion or considers Madi their leader, Bellamy and Clarke even left her sleeping while they took the team with them to the planet. But the fact is that is there are hundreds of people sleeping on the ship - the Grounder part of Wonkru – who do take Madi’s authority seriously and would follow her. Gaia pointed that out – the danger of what could happen if Madi goes back to the ship and wakes up her sleeping army, while she’s being demon child controlled/influenced by the Dark Commander.

Let’s take another moment to appreciate the fact that Simone wasn’t against burning a child, but only against wasting a potential host. Russell may have had an objection on the grounds of her being a child, but considering the fact he was OK with sacrificing newborn babies, I’m pretty sure he also is mostly concerned about not wasting a good host until she comes of age. The Primes are the worst.

Murphy saved the day with his quick thinking, suggesting a way to make new hosts, in order to stop the execution and saved all their lives, while Raven again proved to be a great problem-solver by coming up with a way to isolate and delete Sheidheda from the Flame and save Madi, and used bone marrow extraction as an excuse. It was very lucky that Russell was either suspicious, or just being himself, when he refused to be the bone marrow donor to save his wife, instead ordering it extracted from Madi – which will be a great opportunity to fix the Sheidheda problem. No, the Primes should not be allowed to create new hosts, but this is clearly a temporary solution, to buy time. (And BTW, contrary to what some fans think, bone marrow extraction doesn’t necessarily mean torture and certainly not death, people donate bone marrow to save people’s lives in real life, and no, the doctors who do it are not evil or Mountain Men-like. Nor did, for that matter, Abby’s experiments to find a solution to save the human race in Becca’s lab in season 4. Fandom seems to forget that the Mountain Men were killing the Delinquents only because 1) they needed too much bone marrow, and 2) they were d1cks and didn’t give a damn about other people’s lives.)

Questions and speculation for the rest of the season

Among brief glimpses of Josephine’s memories we saw spilling into Clarke’s mindspace, the one we have have not seen before or heard referenced featured a guy reading a book. In the end credits, he is called “Adjustor”. This must have something to do with the “Adjustment Protocol” from the title of episode 6x12, whatever exactly that is. The Primes have mentioned that a certain period for adjustment is necessary after waking up in a new body.

Why did Rose ask Clarke “Are you here to take us home” in 6x02? Will long-running mystery get resolved by the end of this season, or is it something for season 7?

What happened with Diyoza in the Anomaly? Or with Octavia? I think we’ll get a hint about that in the finale, but it will be the big theme for season 7.

Will Sheidheda be defeated by the end of season 6? Will Madi keep the Flame? If the Sheidheda problem/Dark Madi storyline continues long enough for Bellamy and Clarke to come back and learn about it, I expect Bellamy to feel very guilty about the consequences of Madi taking the Flame that he had not foreseen. (He never really gave much thought to the Flame itself, he just saw it as a pragmatic means to defeat Blodreina ensure peace and save the people he loves, and I don’t think he seriously thought it posed much danger to Madi beyond the danger she was in from Blodreina.) Fans have complained that this issue has not been addressed between Clarke and Bellamy this season, while we have seen Clarke feel guilty and apologize to Bellamy for leaving him in Polis.

Just how brainwashed are the majority of people in Sanctum and how long will they continue like this? They were obviously uncomfortable watching Tai die at the stake. We’ve seen what happened when Ryker revealed the truth to Tai. Delilah’s parents were similarly shocked and unhappy. But I’m afraid it would be too optimistic to hope that they all turn against the Primes, which would make the resolution way too easy, as there are currently just three active Sanctum Primes – Russell, Priya and Ryker. Gavin’s widow, for instance, is still fully loyal to the Primes, but she seems convinced that they are gods and that hosts get to be “one with the Primes”, rather than deleted from existence.

I’m sure Jordan will recover, but will he continue defending Priya, hoping to get Delilah back, or will he soon realize it is impossible, and what will his reaction be then?

(SPOILER) The synopsis for 6x12 mentions a “special Naming Day”. I like the idea that this will be the official ceremony for Josephine VIII – because it’s now time for Clarke to pretend that she is Josephine, just as Josephine pretended to be Clarke in order to fool the Primes and their loyalists, for a while. Clarke has a huge advantage there, as she’s gotten to know Josephine quite well.

Rating: 10/10

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mapleleafstrash · 5 years

Text

The Beat Goes On (Offbeat Sequel) - Auston Matthews

A/N: I’m so happy the day is finally here! This took me forever to write because I felt Offbeat ended off so well and maybe didn’t need a sequel. But I honestly love the original storyline so much so I couldn’t stay away! I’m thinking this may be another multi-part imagine series so let me know what you think! I love hearing feedback and different ideas from you guys!

Also, if you haven’t read Offbeat yet, I suggest you do or you’ll have a hard time understanding what’s going on! I’ll place the link below!

Offbeat Series:

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven]

Characters: Auston Matthews, Connor Brown, Zach Hyman, Mitch Marner, and Morgan Rielly among others!

Words: 8,437

Warnings: Language, anxiety, body-shaming, fat-shaming

*beep beep beep beep beep beep*

You groaned in annoyance when your deep slumber was interrupted from the sound of an iPhone alarm going off; and it wasn't yours.

Rolling over, and away from the sound, you pulled your comforter over your head as you felt the body next to you shuffle.

Letting out a deep sigh, your boyfriend quickly reached over to your night stand to silence his alarm. Taking a quick peak, you whined when you saw that your clock only read seven o'clock.

It was a Saturday for crying out loud. As a student, you relished the opportunity to sleep in on the weekends. But the life of a professional hockey player was quickly starting to interfere with your much needed rest.

Your mattress creaked when Auston rolled over and wrapped his arms around your middle.

"Time to get up," he spoke, his voice still deep from sleep.

"No," you whined, overemphasizing your displeasure with the thought of actually fully waking up.

Auston chuckled before he snuggled up to your body, his nose rubbing up against your left shoulder blade and his arms constricting around you tighter.

"Do you really have to go?" You questioned, turning over slightly to peer towards your boyfriend.

Auston sighed, "baby,"

"I know I know," you grumbled, "you have to do your stupid workout, drink your disgusting smoothie and then head to the rink, and then do steps one and two all over again,"

Kissing your shoulder, Auston then gazed up at you, "you make it sound so, boring,"

"Well it is!" You argued, while Auston chuckled.

"You know I'd stay if I could," he then replied, kissing your shoulder yet again.

"You know," you spoke, mimicking Auston's tone of voice, "hockey players might not need to take their afternoon nap if they actually got enough sleep at night and didn't have to do two separate workouts before their games," you pointed out. "There's definitely a flaw in the system,"

Auston laughed, "you would think of it that way,"

"Anything to keep you in my bed," you mumbled, finally turning over to embrace Auston properly. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you gazed up towards your boyfriend, "I just wish your life wasn't so hectic,"

Auston sighed, before pressing his lips to the top of your head. "Unfortunately sometimes that's just the way it is Y/N, so I might as well do my best to embrace it,"

You sighed, but nodded in understanding. However, you couldn't help but notice his body language. Auston looked exhausted. The bags under his eyes were more prominent than ever. The dark circles were a just one side effect of his non-stop lifestyle.

Practices, workouts, games, flights, bus trips, sponsor commitments and obligations, event appearances and numerous television interviews; all of it was starting to weigh down on Auston, and it was only a month into the season. You didn't want to think of what he'd look like by the end of the year.

Reaching up to brush his bangs back, you sighed. "I just don't want to see you burn out,"

He smiled, "You're so cute when you act like you care,"

You snorted, before pushing him away playfully. Rolling over away from Auston, you pretended to curl back up to resume your sleep.

With a yawn, you jokingly bid him goodbye. "You better go then, before one of the guys start calling,"

He smirked, sitting up onto his knees, "Oh I think I have ten minutes,"

"Auston! No!" You squealed, as he pulled your duvet away from your frame and catapulted himself to engulf you completely, using his arms to pull you upwards from behind and into his hard chest.

Smothering your neck and right cheek with kisses, you laughed joyously and your heart sung. You'd never been more happy. Just the feeling of having Auston with you was enough to set your soul aflame. The butterflies in your stomach were a constant presence whenever the star center-man paid you any attention. You loved your mornings whenever he slept over at your apartment; even if that did mean early wake up calls.

"Auston," you groaned, as his lips doted on one specific spot on your neck. "Baby you're gonna leave a mark," you complained, elbowing him softly.

"Good," he muttered, while you just rolled your eyes.

Turning slightly, you pouted at your boyfriend, "I don't need to deal with hickeys, I'm too old,"

Auston snorted, "You're not old,"

You laughed, "older than you,"

"Well it's a good thing I'm into cougars," he joked while you scoffed, playfully slapping his cheek.

However, before you could pull your hand away too far from his cheek, he grabbed it and placed it back onto his stubbly skin.

Holding your hand in place softly, Auston then leaned forward to brush his lips against yours in a soft kiss.

Closing your eyes, you kissed him back delicately. It was a searingly slow kiss, but it felt just as passionate as any other type of embrace you'd share with him. That was what you loved about Auston, he could be both gentle and passionate at the same time.

Fluttering your eyes open as you pulled away, you firmed your lips together to hide the grin that was dangerously close to revealing itself.

"What?" Auston asked, smiling cheekily towards you as he let you go and sat back up.

"Nothing," you giggled, shaking your head.

Auston chuckled, "god you drive me crazy sometimes,"

You smirked, waving your hand nonchalantly, "oh you like it,"

Your eyes widened when Auston suddenly pounced on you, effectively knocking you back onto your backside. Sprawled out on your bed, you gazed up dreamily towards Auston's warm, honey coloured eyes.

Holding you down into place, Auston stared back, a content smile spread across his lips. Leaning down again, you closed your eyes as Auston gifted you with one last chaste kiss.

You groaned in protest however when he pulled away.

"God I wish we could stay like this forever," Auston sighed, before he looked upwards towards your clock. Realizing the time, he regretfully sat back up before he vacated your bed. You yourself sat up and watched him get dressed.

"Text me later yeah?" He asked, as he pulled his hoodie on over his head and tucked his phone into his pocket.

"Sure," you replied, while he sent you a smirk.

"I'll see you tonight," Auston then spoke, while you nodded, "yes you will," before he walked out of your bedroom.

"Bye babe!" He then called before you heard him close your front door.

"Bye Auston," you whispered to yourself, before you grinned and fell back dramatically onto your mattress.

God you couldn't get enough of that boy.

After falling back to sleep for a couple hours and showering, you decided to head out for a bit by yourself. You soon found yourself in one of the local malls, window shopping and browsing around. After stopping at your usual shops, you were on your way out of the busy plaza when a bright flashing shimmer caught your attention. Curious, you quickly bee-lined into the boutique where the sparkles had came from.

Looking around at all the different fabrics, textures and colours, you stopped immediately when you found the culprit behind the flash. It was a deep blue evening gown, complete with beads and rhinestones glimmering throughout its bodice. Taking it off the rack, you held it up to reveal the full length and shape of the dress. It was absolutely stunning.

"Can I help you?"

You jumped in surprised at the sudden voice, causing you to drop the clothes' hanger. Scrambling, you then reached down to quickly pick up the material you had accidentally abandoned.

"No, no, I'm okay, but thanks," you replied politely, turning to face the sales associate who had appeared behind you.

Chewing her gum obnoxiously, she nodded in an unenthusiastic way, clearly not actually caring about your needs.

"Well just come grab me if you need help, all the evening gowns and formal dresses are forty percent off today," she spoke, before she stalked off towards the cashiers desk.

Sighing, you laid the smooth fabric out over your right arm and quickly brushed the dust and debris off of the dresses' skirt.

You didn't even know why you were here.

Part of you knew it was because you had always wanted to look around this specific boutique. Every time you'd come into this mall lately you'd walk by the store staring wistfully, while you were led past it by a friend. But you were alone for once, so you'd decided to venture in.

It was a cute little pageant store, complete with all types of dresses. Summer dresses, evening gowns, formal wear, cocktail dresses, and of course, nightlife attire. The different colours of gowns and the shimmers from some of the beading work had always caught your eye.

But you didn't need a dress. You had a few. Now, they were no where near as glamorous as any of the ones being showcased in the store, but they were acceptable enough. And on top of everything, you weren't sure if they even carried your size.

You were too embarrassed to ask. You'd learned over the years that little boutique stores such as these only carried up to a certain size, and unfortunately, you typically passed that threshold.

Frowning, you held the royal blue gown out in front of you again, taking in its elegance and beauty. The dresses' tag however, glared back at you. The bolded red number '4' immediately placed you out of its league, and you doubted the dress had sizes available in the teens.

Just as you went to put the dress back into its proper spot, a voice stopped you.

"Ah, that's one of my favourites,"

You smiled as you glanced to your right to see that an older woman had appeared beside you.

"It's really pretty," you sighed, before placing it back on the rack situated in front of you.

"Would you like me to size you sweetie?" The woman then asked. "I'm sure we have your size here,"

You flushed at the idea. You knew the woman was probably just being polite. But you truly doubted there'd be any dress available in your size, at least not in this type of store. It was just another example of the exclusion you felt daily due to your broader shoulders, wider hips and thicker thighs. You didn't need that kind of rejection today.

"Oh no, that's okay," you replied, waving your hands, "I was just looking,"

The lady nodded, "okay, but if you ever change your mind, don't hesitate to come back,"

You sent her a curt nod with a smile. But your comfort level had just diminished considerably, causing you to vacate the store as quickly as you could.

Placing that interaction into the back of your head, you instead focused on finishing your errands. You still had groceries to get, and you wanted to get back to your apartment at a decent time to skip both the rush hour traffic and to have time to prep for your night.

By the time you'd gotten home, it was now after four, giving you just under two hours to get ready for Auston's game and just under two hours for your oncoming anxiety to fester.

____________________________________________

I'll be there in 5

You took a shaky breath as you saw Madison's message flash across your phone screen. Standing from your spot at the foot of your bed, you took a few steps forward to stare into your wall length mirror.

Pouting your lips and tousling your hair, you grimaced as your eyes trailed downwards towards your gut region. Pulling at the burgundy blouse for the umpteenth time over the last hour, you sighed. This wasn't good enough.

You were freaking out.

Tonight was the first time you were ever going out to a WAG exclusive event. Sure you knew most of the women attending from being friends with Connor, but you'd never been there as an official Leafs girlfriend.

There was a newfound pressure weighing down upon you.

When you were just Connor Brown's childhood buddy, no one really paid you any mind. But now that you were formally being introduced as Auston's girlfriend, well you were freaking out to say the least.

You'd spent over an hour doing your make-up, which was something that you had never spent so much effort perfecting in your life. You'd typically just do a tiny bit of mascara and a very light shade of eye shadow. But not tonight. You'd even splurged and sadly ruined your perfectly pressed brand-new urban decay pallet.

You'd changed outfits several times, always finding something to nit-pick. Now you were focused on the protruding bulge that was forming just above your pant line. Maybe the blouse was just too tight. At this point you even considered just wearing a jersey.

Your anxiousness was through the roof. You were nothing compared to the models and socialites that Auston had brought around before, so what would these girls think of you? They'd probably laugh and whisper about you behind your back, or you'd be the hot topic to gossip about in their group chats.

The sound of your ringtone echoing thankfully interrupted your thoughts.

Shaking your head you grabbed your phone and pulled out a cream-coloured wool cardigan from your closet, slipping it on before exiting your apartment.

It was now early November, and even though you'd attended a few Leafs games over the last couple weeks, you'd always sat with the Brown family. It was what you'd always done and it felt weird sitting in the box with all the other significant others. Sure Madison would sit with you a majority of the time, and Alannah would come too, but it was rare occasion if anyone else did.

So when you were invited to a WAG exclusive dinner party to celebrate a baby shower and watch the hockey game all together, you were surprised.

The ride over to Scotiabank Arena was pretty silent on your end. Madison chatted your ear off, which was pretty much standard procedure.

"Why are you being so quiet?" She suddenly asked you.

Blinking, you turned your head to glance at the driver, who was staring back with her perfectly plucked eyebrow raised.

You sighed, shrugging your shoulders.

"Do you not want to go?" Madison questioned again.

"I don't know Madison," you replied, now avoiding eye contact. You shuffled in the leather seat, "I'm just, nervous, okay?"

Madison snorted, before playfully reaching over to whack your upper arm. "You're such a worry wort. Just relax. You know most of them anyways."

"I know their names and what they look like, but you've got to admit, I haven't even talked to half of them," you spoke, crossing your arms and staring back out the cars' window.

"Well, tonight you can change that," Madison chirped back.

You sighed again, banging your head back into the head rest. "I don't even know why I was invited,"

"Your Auston's girlfriend Y/N, they'd be stupid not to invite you," Madison defended, while you sent her a sidewards glance, pursing your lips.

"You asked them, didn't you?"

Madison sighed, "well, Alannah did too,"

You groaned.

"Hey, if you can't stand the cattiness and everyone being fake nice, there'll be free booze. And tons of it," Madison mentioned, as she flashed her parking pass at one of the guards at the arena.

You rolled your eyes.

"Wonderful,"

Exiting the vehicle once Madison had parked, you both made your way into the platinum section of the arena.

Keeping your head down, as you always did, you passively followed Connor's girlfriend as she waved and greeted the workers who recognized her.

"Did you want to see the guys before we head up?" Madison's voice then caught you.

You shrugged, while Madison sighed before she placed her hand onto your shoulder and ushered you forward, "c'mon grumpy,"

Luckily when you both came up upon the dressing room area, Connor was outside stretching with Zach Hyman.

Catching your gaze, Zach sent you a grin.

"Hey Champ!"

A few heads turned towards you, mostly team personnel or the few lingering reporters. You waved awkwardly, feeling your cheeks heat in embarrassment. That nickname he'd given you had stuck since your cottage excursion.

Connor stood upright once he'd finished stretching before he made his way over to both you and Madison. Pulling his girlfriend in for a hug, you smiled as Connor pressed his lips to Madison's temple.

"Ew, Connor," Madison whined, as she struggled to get free from his grasp. "You're sweaty!"

Connor chuckled before letting her go, while she stumbled to return back to your side.

"You guys heading up?" Connor questioned, referring to the makeshift baby shower.

"We will, your buddy here's a bit nervous," Madison replied, once again playfully hitting your arm.

Connor looked on towards you sympathetically. "What's wrong Y/N?"

You shrugged, "you know how well I do with girls Connor," you then spoke sarcastically while Connor cracked a grin.

"They're not all bad, some yes, but not all,"

You snorted while Madison rolled her eyes.

"You'll be fine Y/N, Maddie will take care of you," Connor then said, giving you a reassuring smile.

You sighed, "I know she will,"

"Did you want me to get Matts?" Connor then asked, his eyes flashing towards you with a mischievous glint.

Narrowing your eyes, you went to reply but you gasped instead when two arms suddenly circled around your waist, effectively catapulting you back into someone's chest.

"Surprise," a familiar voice then whispered in your ear.

You took a breath in relief as Auston then released you from his tight grasp. Turning to glance at him, you sent Auston an unimpressed look while he sent you an innocent pout.

"You didn't text me today," he then spoke, while he reached over to playfully tap you on the nose.

You snorted, shaking your head at his antics, "I figured you were busy," you replied honestly while Auston scoffed.

"I'm never too busy for you,"

He then quickly pulled you into a hug before leaning down to press his lips against your cheek.

"Awwww," Madison's voice echoed while you heard Connor playfully gag.

"What's wrong with my girl?" Auston then whispered lowly, as he leaned down close to your ear, his brown eyes shifting to stare deeply into yours.

You could feel your cheeks heat up due to his close proximity. You guys had been very limited with the PDA, due to your comfort level, so this was uncharted territory for you.

"Uhhh nothing, everything's fine," you choked out, leaping away from Auston, while he stood up straight and crossed his arms.

"Y/N, you're a terrible liar,"

"Which is why I never lie," you countered, while your boyfriend just shook his head.

"Are we still good for after the game?" Connor's voice then asked, recapturing your attention.

Madison nodded, "yeah I think so, it'll be nice to go out since you guys actually have a half decent break."

"Oh right, we're going to EFS aren't we?" Auston spoke, scratching his head.

"We are?" you asked, as the knot in your stomach then tightened considerably. You then jumped when Madison placed her hand on your shoulder.

"Y/N, I'm just gonna run to the loo real quick, I'll be right back," Madison spoke before she wished Connor well, as she knew he'd have to go get ready soon, and darted down the opposite hall.

"I'm gonna go get changed guys, but I'll see you after the game bud," Connor then said, the latter part of his sentence referring to you as he patted you on the back.

Watching him jog off, you sighed. If you'd known about these supposed plans, you may have prepared for your night differently.

Sensing your jitters, Auston reclaimed your attention when he reached out to rub your upper arm soothingly.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

You sighed, "nothing, I just-,"

Stopping mid sentence, you frowned, before looking away from Auston's gaze.

'You're being such a little girl!' You cried out to yourself. How embarrassing did you have to be?

You then shook your head, "I'm sorry, I'm just being silly,"

"No, you're not. Y/N how many times have I told you to just talk to me? Your feelings are always valid babe, okay?" Auston sighed, as he pulled you in for another hug.

Closing your eyes, you relaxed into Auston's embrace. Your head fit perfectly into the crook of his neck each and every time he did this. God how you wished you could be better for him. He deserved a girl who loved to party, loved to socialize. Instead for some reason he'd chosen you. Feeling tears brim your eyes, you sniffled quickly and pulled away from Auston.

Your boyfriend frowned, "Y/N,"

"I'm fine," you exclaimed, putting on a fake smile. "We're gonna have a great night,"

"Y/N!"

Looking past Auston's shoulder, Madison waved towards you, ushering you to take your leave. Auston turned towards her before circling back to you, his frown still present.

"Now you go score a bunch of goals and don't take shit from anyone, okay?" You spoke, as you patted him quickly on the shoulder.

Firming his lips together, Auston nodded, momentarily accepting your words. "You should take your own advice too, don't worry about those girls. They've all got half a brain compared to you," Auston declared, while you rolled your eyes.

"Hey, I'm serious," Auston said, chuckling softly. He then reached across to gently place some of your stray strands of hair behind your ear. "If anyone bothers you, you tell me right away. I won't tolerate anything or anyone bugging my girl, got it?"

"Got it," you replied, nodding with a smile.

"Good, I'll see you after the game," Auston then spoke, before leaning down to press his lips to yours. Your stomach then erupted into butterflies, as it had every time Auston had kissed you over the last few months. It was a feeling you weren't sure you'd ever get used to.

"Mr. Matthews, I'm not sure if you recall but you do need to be on the ice in less than ten minutes!"

Gasping at the booming voice, you jumped back from Auston. Turning slightly, your face flushed when you realized Mike Babcock of all people was staring straight at you, standing a mere fifteen feet away, arms crossed while tapping his right foot impatiently.

"Coming coach," Auston spoke, acknowledging the older man. But as he turned back to face you, Mike spoke again.

"After tonight you have 5 days to fool around Mr. Matthews." Mike reminded, "So I suggest you don't waste my time now. Remember, I can always reschedule our first practice a few days early,"

Firming your lips together, you could feel how hot your face had gotten. Auston sighed, turning his gaze towards you and grabbing your hand, "I'll see you soon,"

"Good luck," you replied, squeezing his hand twice. You then watched as Auston dropped your hand and jogged down the hall, disappearing into the dressing room.

As you went to turn towards Madison, who looked like she was about to pee herself from holding in her laughter, Mike caught you again as he cleared his throat, commanding your attention.

"Miss, I suggest you take it easy on Auston over the break. Sore back and all," he joked, motioning towards his own lower back.

Your eyes widened, as Auston's coach stared back at you with a sly smirk on his face. Madison's laugh finally erupted from behind you and all you could do was gawk.

"Have a good night ladies," he then spoke, before playfully saluting you and waltzing into his dressing room.

"Oh my god!" Madison cried out in laughter as you scurried by her.

"Shut up," You grumbled, as you made your way around the corner and back into the platinum club.

"Speaking of sore backs,"

You sent a sideways glare towards Connor's girlfriend, while she sniggered as you both entered one of the vacant elevators that would bring you up into the 600 level.

"How's it going between you two in that department?" Madison questioned, wagging her eyebrows at you.

You pursed your lips as you leaned up against the cool metallic wall, "it's fine."

Madison scoffed, "fine isn't a great adjective to use when describing your sex life Y/N. What is it? Does he not reciprocate well?"

Your eyes widened, "No no-,"

"Is it his size? Because I've heard good reviews,"

You frowned at that. You hoped she only knew that through Connor. Although part of you knew that was false.

She then gasped, jumping to another conclusion, "Is he too big for you then?"

You shook your head violently, "No it's not-,"

"Is it his sex drive? I mean the way he used to pounce from girl to girl, I thought he'd be-,"

"We haven't yet, okay?!" You yelled, right as the elevator dinged, informing you of your arrival.

Madison's mouth fell a gap while the elevator doors swung open. Firming your lips together, you squirmed in discomfort.

"You guys - haven't?"

You shook your head and stared at your shoes. They suddenly seemed much more interesting than this conversation.

"Oh babe," Madison sighed, sounding concerned.

"It's fine," you defended. "I'm happy, and trust me, he's not trying to abstain or anything," you admitted, not wanting to paint Auston negatively.

"Wait," Madison spoke, as she led you out of the elevator and quickly around the closest corner for some privacy.

"You're choosing not to have sex with him?"

"Shhhhh!" you pleaded. This wasn't a conversation you wanted anyone to hear about. You then sighed, shrugging softly. "What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal? Y/N? Don't you understand who you're dating?" Madison questioned, "what he's known for?"

"Stop," you winced, not needing to be reminded of Auston's past.

Madison sighed, "well, what do you expect me to think?"

"I don't know," you admitted, shaking your head, "just not that,"

"Babe, I'm not trying to upset you, but considering his past-,"

"Yes exactly," you interrupted. "His past," You then emphasized. "He's trying to change, and he's accepted that I'm not ready yet,"

Madison rolled her eyes, "okay fine, but let me play devil's advocate here for a sec,"

You crossed your arms and stood tall, not liking where this conversation was going. "I'm listening," you stated impatiently.

She sighed, "not that he's that person anymore, but babe, you can't expect someone like that to just quit cold turkey, he has girls constantly throwing themselves at him, both here and on the road. There's constant temptation. While in the meantime, the girl he comes home to won't put out? I know he cares but I can't give him that much credit."

"What are you saying?" You then asked, suddenly taking in her words and fearing the worst. She was unknowingly playing on your anxieties.

"I'm saying, I don't think he'll last too long with this whole celibacy thing, and that eventually, he may give into temptation and decide to go to someone else," She confessed, biting her lip.

Your shoulders slumped as you processed Madison's words. Maybe she had a point, but you knew you weren't ready for that, and so did Auston. You'd talked about it a bit, but never in length. At the same time though, he never bugged you or pressured you about it.

"I know it may be hard for you to believe, but I think he's changed," you then spoke, "Maddie, I love him, I mean I haven't said it yet, but I do. So, it's hard for me to think of Auston like that. After everything that happened last summer, I don't think he'd ever hurt me like that again."

"Well I hope so, otherwise, there'll be hell to pay, and that's not just from me. Connor would kill him,"

"I know," you muttered.

"Hey, hey, I didn't mean to make you sad, I just care babes," Madison spoke, playfully shaking your shoulders.

You smiled slightly and repeated yourself, "I know,"

"Now off to the lion's den," she laughed, pulling you along. You then suddenly remembered where you were going.

Following Madison's guidance, you were quickly led towards one of the executive boxes. As you entered, you suddenly noticed the pink balloons and matching décor. 'Looks like the Kadri's are having a girl,' you thought, as your eyes darted around the room.

"Maddie!"

Turning towards the high-pitched squeal, you took a step back as a heavily pregnant Ashley Kadri squeezed Connor's girlfriend tightly. "I'm so glad you could make it!" she exclaimed with a smile, while Maddie grinned.

"Ash, this is Y/N," Madison then spoke, referring to you while Nazem Kadri's wife turned in your direction.

She gave you a warm smile, "Thank you for coming Y/N, I'm glad you came,"

"Thank you for inviting me," you replied politely.

"Of course!" she declared, "the more the merrier and I want everyone to feel included here, we're an exclusive club no?" Ashley joked.

You nodded with a small smile, "I guess so,"

"Well, the game's on soon, there's lots of food and drinks, help yourselves! More of the girls should be here soon," Ashley said, as she ushered you further into the suite.

It was a good-sized room, and you were honesty taken aback from its size considering it was here in the arena. There was a large sitting area, complete with a fully set table that was full of food. Across the way was a makeshift kitchenette, where all the alcohol was sitting. Further in, a small staircase of about six stairs led into the viewing area for the game. It gave a full view down over the crowd and onto the ice. There was also popcorn placed at every seat which you thought was a nice touch. All in all, this place didn't seem so bad.

That was, until the cavalry arrived.

"Who are you again?"

Blinking twice, you turned your head away from the hockey game being played below you and towards an unknown blonde. She was a very petite girl, who was staring at you inquisitively.

Alannah, who'd since joined you, scoffed, while Maddie replied, "this is Y/N, we've told you twice now Cassie,"

She rolled her eyes at Madison, "I know, but I thought this was a WAG exclusive event. No friends or family,"

"You're the only person who would even care about that," Madison retorted.

"Then why did you bring Bria? And Gen for that matter?" Alannah also countered back, referring to Cassie's uninvited friends while also sending the blonde a death glare.

Cassie shrugged, "Ash approved it, and at least I didn't have to beg to get my friends in," she then pointed out, sending you snarky look.

"For your information, Y/N's not only Connor's best friend, but she's also Auston's girlfriend, so I'd button your lip." Madison then threatened. That made you sink further down into your seat. You knew your relationship with Auston was now common knowledge, but you didn't like it being used in your defence.

"Well I was just wondering who this stranger was, sorry for asking," Cassie then ended, sending you a smirk before she trotted off.

"Whatever Cassie," Alannah muttered, before she took a sip of her wine and turned her attention back to the game. "just ignore her," she then whispered to you, sending you a reassuring wink. "She's just some dumb blonde who lives off her parent's money. Her and Andreas are on and off just as badly as Annika and Kap,"

Sighing, you then tried to pay attention to the game. The Leafs were playing The Blue Jackets, and Toronto was up by one goal. It was a close match, and the goalies were definitely having a competition between one another.

You cheered along with the two girls next to you when Zach shoveled in a Mitch Mariner rebound, stretching the lead to two. But for the rest of the period, you couldn't help but feel as if you were being watched.

Some squeals then suddenly sounded off behind you as more girls arrived, causing you to sigh. You just wanted to watch the guys, not listen to this. You missed sitting in the seats below.

"I need a drink," you then muttered, while Alannah laughed, raising her glass to toast you, "that a girl!"

You laughed as you ran up the stairs and headed towards the bar counter. Staring at all the different bottles of alcohol, you contemplated what you wanted. Beer? Wine? Vodka? Tequila? It was all here. Deciding on some vodka with cranberry juice, you grabbed a glass and began mixing your drink. However, you couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation happening by the door.

Annika, who to you was a familiar face, had entered the room, and Cassie, along with her two friends, were standing in a circle chatting.

"A bunch of them are going to EFS after the game. Kappy told me," you heard Annika say. "Yeah Andreas mentioned that too," Cassie added, nodding along with the other blonde.

"Did they invite us?" one of the unknown girls asked, while Cassie snorted and Annika scoffed, "who the fuck cares? As long as Kappy gets to fuck someone and gets drunk, he doesn't give a shit. I'm pretty sure all the guys are like that."

You shook your head slightly at her comment while the four girls giggled together. You didn't think Annika was like that.

"I just really want to meet William," one of Cassie's friends whispered, obviously trying to keep their conversation on the down-low. "Oh, you will Gen," Annika then promised.

"Do you think Auston will be there?"

That's when your ears pricked up.

"Oh, for sure," Annika replied, "he always goes out with the guys."

"Do you think he'll remember you?" Cassie then asked her friend, presumably this Bria person. Bria snickered towards the girls, "oh one hundred percent. He'll be begging for it when he sees me. He bugged me all summer, kept telling me I was one of his best fucks,"

Your eyes widened.

"Really? Cause isn't he taken now?" the other friend, Gen questioned, while Cassie scoffed. "He doesn't care. He's a serial cheater, everybody knows that. Look at his last few relationships. And I mean, he's dating that cow over there now, so there should be no issues,"

That's when you finally turned. Slamming the vodka bottle down onto the marble counter top and leaving the bar, a few heads turned towards you from the noise, but you ignored them. However, Annika's eyes caught yours as you went by. You then sent her a glare, letting her know that you'd heard everything.

Stomping back down the stairs to the viewing area, you could feel your blood boil. "Woah, girl." Alannah exclaimed when you dropped into the seat next to her. "You okay?"

"No, no I'm not actually," You said, before knocking your drink back in five quick sips.

"Babes, what's wrong?" Madison asked, looking over at you from Alannah's other side.

"Annika and her friends are talking about the guys and one of them just happened to mention that she'd slept with Auston," you explained, while Alannah firmed her lips together and Madison turned back to stare at the group of younger girls.

"Babe, it's okay, just relax," Alannah then spoke, placing her hand onto your wrist trying to comfort you. "Auston would never,"

"I hope not," you whispered, feeling your throat grow scratchy as your emotions were beginning to bubble over. The thought of him ever cheating was enough to make you feel sick.

"What else did they say?" Madison then asked.

You shook your head, "it doesn't matter. I'm just upset because none of those girls, including Annika who I thought I was on decent terms with, think I'm worthy of being with Auston. Our relationship's just a joke. No one believes that he'd actually go out with me,"

"That's not true, and you know it. He cares about you Y/N, we all know that. He's done so much to prove that to you over the last few months. Don't let some nineteen-year-old skanks ruin all of that for you in one night." Alannah replied, sending you a sad smile.

Madison then stood abruptly, her fists squeezed tight at her hips. "what else did they say?"

You sighed, "Cassie called me a cow, said Auston wouldn't care about us and would cheat on me anyways."

Connor's girlfriend quickly firmed her lips together tightly. She then marched over to the stairs, looking beyond pissed.

"Where are you going?" you then asked the brunette, scared of what she was about to do.

"I have half a mind to go kick all their skimpy asses," Madison replied.

"Wait," you spoke, standing up and reaching to grab her arm, "Maddie, I love you for wanting to stand up for me, but please don't. Don't cause a scene, don't cause a headache for the boys."

She sighed deeply, obviously considering your words. Madison knew you were right. It wasn't worth the trouble, not yet anyways. So Madison backed down.

"Fine, but if any of those bitches come near any of our guys, heads will roll,"

After the game had ended, you travelled back down the elevator with both Alannah and Madison. Connor's girlfriend was still obviously irritated, while Alannah just kept sending you side looks. She had been checking up on you constantly since you'd overheard what Annika and her friends had said.

"Maybe I won't go," you suddenly uttered, as the three of you stood by the dressing room, waiting for everyone to clear out.

Madison's eyes widened before she shook her head violently. "Oh no, no, no, no, no."

"You have to come Y/N, and trust me, I don't wanna go either," Alannah sighed.

"Those girls are going to be there! You can't just not go!" Madison complained.

"Auston would want you to go with him anyways Y/N, this is the only half decent break they get until bye week," Alannah added. "He'll want you to celebrate with everyone."

"Connor will too," Madison added.

Alannah then nodded, "All the boys will,"

You sighed, shrugging your shoulders, "I just have a bad feeling,"

"A bad feeling about what?"

Turning, you smiled at the sight of your best friend, who stepped up next to you with his eyebrow raised.

As you went to speak, Madison interrupted you, "Pot brownies! I told Y/N I wanted to bake some with her tomorrow,"

'Pot brownies?!' you thought, exasperated.

Both you and Alannah sent Madison crazed looks, while the brunette continued, "I've always wanted to try them Connor, haven't you?"

"Uh no, actually." Connor replied, blinking twice from his girlfriends' words.

"But it's your break, so technically you could try some," Madison argued while Connor sighed, shaking his head at his girlfriend.

"I could Maddie, but I'm not gonna. Neither should you two," He then said pointedly, giving you both displeased looks.

"Oh fine, be a party pooper, I'm still gonna try them. We'll just wait until you're back on the road, won't we Y/N?" Madison spoke, crossing her arms in defiance.

You raised an eyebrow, "Uhhh,"

You were shocked at how well Madison had stuck to her excuse.

Connor then sighed, "whatever, but I don't want to hear about it."

"It is legal now Connor," Alannah argued, obviously trying to play along.

He snorted, "of course the future lawyer would bring that up,"

Alannah just smirked.

"Did I hear someone say something about brownies?"

You laughed as Mitch Marner appeared behind Connor, his dark hair still wet from his post-game shower.

"No, no you didn't," Connor replied, obviously not wanting the conversation to continue.

"I'm pretty sure I did, Brownie," Mitch retorted, sending his teammate a wink.

"Mitch," Connor warned, sending him a look.

"Okay, okay, relax," Mitch laughed, "didn't realize you were so sensitive about pastries,"

Connor rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath.

"It's probably just his diet,"

Everyone laughed as Zach came up behind Alannah, before he leaned down to kiss the top of her head gently. She just smiled bashfully towards her fiance.

"Anyways," Madison interrupted, "who's ready for EFS?!"

A harmonious melody of groans erupted from everyone besides Mitch, and when he realized that was the case, his cheer quickly turned from celebration to booing instead.

"Well you're a bunch of party animals,"

You smiled as Auston appeared next to you, his arm sneaking around you as he pressed his lips to your temple quickly in greeting.

"Do we really have to go?" You asked lowly, giving him your best puppy dog look.

"Why? You tired?" Auston asked, genuinely curious as he raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged, before leaning more into him. You weren't tired, you were just dreading the evening ahead of you. You could still feel Auston's gaze but you instead flickered your attention to the group in front of you.

"Well, I know I'm tired," Connor spoke, "and a bar does not sound like the type of place I want to be at right now,"

"Yeah, but you'll perk up," Madison replied, before she fixed her eyes on you, "you both will."

And that's exactly how you ended up sitting in your familiar booth nearly an hour later. With Zach and Morgan seated across from you, and your best friend sitting next to you, nothing had changed. As the music played, you swirled some vodka based beverage that Auston had gotten you while you stared out into the rowdy crowd, keeping an eye out for your friends and any potential unwanted guests.

To be fair, your eyes were actually locked on the bar, where Auston, Mitch and William were currently ordering drinks. You'd already counted nearly seven women who'd sauntered up to the group.

"You gonna pout all night?"

Looking up, Morgan's bright baby blues shone back, giving you a smirk.

Sighing, you took a sip of your drink, wincing slightly from the sharpness of the vodka.

"I am not pouting," you defended, as your eyes quickly returned to your boyfriend.

"Bud, as your official best friend for life, you're definitely pouting," Connor retorted from his spot next to you, before he himself took a sip of his beer. You rolled your eyes.

"Y/N, he's not gonna run," Morgan chuckled, obviously realizing what you'd been so intent at staring at.

"I'm not worried about him," you spoke honestly, while Morgan just shook his head.

"There was drama at the shower tonight," Alannah then spoke from her spot next to Zach, catching the attention of all the men at your table as they turned towards her. "So, Y/N's a bit concerned; rightfully so,"

Connor sighed, "What now?"

"See, this is why I'm glad I don't have a girlfriend, there's always something going on," Morgan admitted, while you sent him a disbelieving look.

"Cassie again," Alannah sighed, answering Connor's previous inquiry, "Annika too shockingly,"

"Or un-shockingly," Zach scoffed, while everyone sent him looks.

"What?" He questioned, "are we really surprised?"

"I was," you said honestly, "I didn't think she'd turn all mean girl on me,"

Connor sighed, "I don't get why there has to be so much drama,"

You pursed your lips.

You knew why. It was because you were an outsider. You weren't a stick-thin blonde model, or a typical cookie-cutter young woman in her early twenties. On top of that, you and Auston were never meant to be. It was a fluke, an accident even. People like you weren't meant to go out with people like him. And now that you'd broken both of those barriers, other people weren't going to like that.

"Oh god," Alannah voiced, her displeasure seeping out due to her tone.

Following her line of vision, your stomach twisted when Annika, Cassie and her friends walked into the VIP area. You silently cursed the bouncer who just let them pass through.

Luckily, Auston and the guys were currently on their way back from the bar. Placing several bottles of beer down onto the wooden table, Auston sent you a smile before he scooted in next to you, while William followed him and Mitch took a seat next to Morgan on the other side.

"Well boys," Auston spoke as he handed everyone another beer and lifted his own, "here's to a successful first month,"

"Cheers!" William exclaimed, before all the guys followed suit and clinked their beers.

Leaning forward onto your elbow, you sipped your drink absentmindedly. You couldn't wait to leave and climb into your bed.

"Will!"

Everyone's attention suddenly turned towards William and Annika, who'd stepped up to speak to the Swede. You jumped slightly when Auston's left hand suddenly landed on and squeezed your right thigh.

"Have you seen Kappy?" Annika questioned, flipping her long blonde hair off her shoulder.

"Why? I thought you guys broke up?" William asked, rolling his eyes as he took a sip of his drink.

Annika waved her hand and scoffed, "oh, well we got back together,"

"That's news to me," Will replied, while Annika sent him a glare. Those two never really got along too well.

"He didn't say anything?" Annika questioned, placing her hand on her hip and giving William and all the other guys looks.

"Besides to stay clear of you? No, not really," Will then spoke, before Annika scowled and slinked off.

"She's a real piece of work," William then said, shaking his head as he watched her rejoin her friends.

Auston snorted from beside you, "that's one way to put it,"

The night moved by quickly, to your surprise. After a couple more drinks, you were feeling pretty good. Throughout the night you shared different conversations with familiar faces, as your group of friends was constantly cycling from your table, to the bar, to the dance floor and back again.

You were currently standing with Morgan and Connor, along with Auston, who to your surprise, had always been either holding your hand or had his arm wrapped around you for a majority of the evening. You weren't complaining as it seemed to be a good deterrent for other females, but it also drew more attention to yourself. While you all stood by the bar waiting for your last drink order of the night, you suddenly had the urge to go to the washroom.

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom," you spoke, raising your voice just high enough so Auston could hear you over the loud music.

He nodded before leaning down to reply to you, "do you want me to come wait for you?"

You smiled at the thought. You loved how caring and attentive Auston had been with you today.

You shook your head however, "it's okay, enjoy your time with the guys,"

He nodded, giving you a quick kiss before you let go of his hand and made your way to the other side of the club.

Wincing from the bright white lights as you stepped into the hallway that led to the women's washroom, you squinted your eyes as you pushed the bathroom door open.

Thankfully the washroom was pretty empty, allowing you to relieve yourself quickly. However, you suddenly realized you were no longer alone when the bathroom door slammed open while you were washing your hands.

Looking over, you watched as one of Cassie's friends strolled into the room, before turning on her heel and pushing the door shut. You inwardly gulped when you then watched her lock the the main bathroom door, effectively caging you in.

Turned her attention on you, the raven haired girl gave you a once over, her dark green eyes silently judging you.

Her red painted lips then turn curved into a smirk, "Y/N? Right?"

"What do you want?" You then questioned, standing tall. You didn't want to seem intimidated.

The girl, much like you, was tall, and due to her 6 inch heels, nearly towered over you. You couldn't deny that she was pretty either. Her body was sculpted beyond belief, and along with her naturally beautiful features, it was no question to you that she definitely modeled.

"I just wanted to meet you officially, I wasn't able to talk to you at the game. My name's Bria," she spoke, while you just stared.

"Cassie tells me you're Auston's girlfriend," she continued, "I just wanted to hear it from you,"

"What's it to you?" You then questioned, while the other woman just smiled.

"I was just curious, Auston isn't typically known to date," Bria replied.

"Yeah, well-,"

You faltered. You didn't know what to say. You had no clue what this girl wanted, other than to intimidate you.

"This won't last," Bria then said, "I hope you know that,"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" You questioned, feeling defensive. You could feel your blood begin to boil. Who did this bitch think she was?

"Oh honey, Auston doesn't date and he definitely doesn't fool around with girls like you," Bria explained, "you should be counting yourself lucky he's even giving you the time of day. Considering he's now probably the laughing stalk of most of his teammates, let alone the league,"

You heart ached from her words.

"Does he just pity you, or is Auston secretly a chubby chaser? I always knew he had some kinks, but I never knew he also had a fat fetish,"

"Shut up," you glowered, feeling your fists tighten and holding back tears. Her words were cutting into you deeper than any knife ever could.

She sighed, clicking her tongue sadly, "I'm sorry to say Y/N, but eventually he'll come to his senses,"

Blinking back your emotions you glared, "And what? Run back to you?" You retorted, sending her a glare.

"He may," she shrugged, "or he'll go back to Annika, or Jordyn, or Andrea or any of the other number of girls he's been with,"

You breath caught in your throat. You'd known Auston long enough to know most of his hook-ups, but you hadn't known he'd hooked up with Annika. That was news to you.

"I'm just trying to give you fair warning," Bria then spoke, before she unlocked the bathroom door. "He texted me on and off all summer, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one. Check his phone if you don't believe me."

You pursed your lips, not replying while Bria chuckled.

"Just remember Y/N, Auston Matthews will always be fair game, and no type of relationship status is going to change that."

#My writing #offbeat #offbeat sequel #hockey imagines #Hockey Fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews imagines #maple leafs imagines

162 notes · View notes

takaraphoenix · 5 years

Note

35,18,3,7 (on the original Charmed)

Thanks for playing! ^-^

3. rant. just do it

Okay, here goes nothing.

Americans annoy me with their high hourse TV plot writing these days. Like, yeah, just as any other sane person, I know that your guys’ government putting human beings into cages and separating children from their parents and basically Third Reiching it up in there is really terrifyingly bad - as a German, I might even get that a little bit more than some others.

But I’m... I’m really tired of them doing this “what is happening right now is Really Very Bad and we will whack you over the head with that in your fun escapism TV show”.

Because look. If I’d... If I’d want to engage with this terrifying shit going on, I’d be right now watching the news. Not Supergirl. Not Legends of Tomorrow.

I, like many others, watch TV as a means of escapism. Especially shows about idiot timetravelers and aliens who are unrecognizable when they put on glasses.

That a show like Orange is the New Black that is set and grounded in this reality and actually deals with prison conditions and has tackled these type of injustices from the get-go addresses it makes a whole lot of sense and fits the theme.

But every single show turning into “we shouldn’t treat other beings who are just like us but have slight differences and may come from a different place like they are below us!!!” is... it’s exhausting.

Not everybody watching this is American. It’s not like we can do anything to help. And, let’s be really really clear: A show that is so damn heavy on feminism and LGBT themes has long since lost any of the viewers whose hearts and minds these kind of plotlines are meant to change. No Straight White Male Republican Racist is still watching a show with half the cast being POC and LGBT and female. The only people you’re reaching are the people who absolutely know that what is happening is wrong and terrifying.

And what makes it more frustrating was that Supergirl in particular was always very out of this world; quite literally. They opted, after Trump was elected, to put a female president onto that Earth. A reasonable, wise woman who works for the rights of others. And that made this show all the more wonderful and all the more escapism from this reality because it was literally presented as a better alternate Earth to ours. That they had to get her impeached to replace her with a Straight White Male Racist so you can hammer the metaphor of aliens = immigrants in was... not necessary, not on that world.

And especially not with the exact same message running course on three different shows that share one universe - because yeah, the whole “metahumans are different than us and are being murdered” thing is the same tune, you just exchanged alien/magical creature with metahuman there.

I just... It’s too much. I get tight-chested every single time I have to face another horrible, inhumane, Hitleresque thing that Trump said or did. I don’t need you to whack me over the head with thinly veiled metaphors.

Especially since you’re not even doing it in a creative way. The bad guy is the Old White Man, while most of the aliens and magical creatures that are prominently features are played by actors of color, just in case anyone was still missing the metaphor. It’s... It’s not even clever writing.

And I don’t... I just... Honestly, I actually find it kind of offensive that writers think we need a metaphor where the immigrants are literal aliens. Like, humans do this shit to other humans. That you’re pretending that “oh no they are doing this to aliens while all humans hold together” is... even more unrealistic than the whole premise of Supergirl to begin with, to be quite frank.

It’d even be... fine. Durable. If it were one show only but to be whacked over the head with the exact same message on multiple shows running parallel is really tiresome actually.

I get it. I know what you’re saying. I agree. And so does the whole entire damn rest of the audience. Because if they didn’t get the whole point of Superman and Supergirl literally being refugees on Earth and them LITERALLY being created by Jewish men during WWII and if they weren’t racist enough to stop watching when two black men became superheroes and if they weren’t homophobic enough when one of the main characters came out as a lesbian and started very explicitely to have a relationship with another woman and if they weren’t transphobic enough to quit when you introduced a trans character to the main cast and if they weren’t misogynistic enough to just straight up quit this majorly female-led feminist show on season one, then honestly you’re barking up the wrong tree there.

7. opinion on… Charmed

THIS WAS MY FIRST BIG OBSESSION! *^*

Oh, I loved Charmed - literally all of my walls, including my ceiling, were plastered with posters of the show! I did the puppy-dog eyes at anyone who bought teen magazines back then, I got cut-out articles about it every time it was somewhere, I still have self-recorded VHS tapes with the entire show in my closet.

I even wrote my very first fanfiction for this show, back then ink on paper in a journal because we’re talking pre-Phoe-is-allowed-on-the-internet-age, I had my first next gen OC line-up for that show.

And it was, to date, the only ever where I actually also got invested in the actors. Particularly Alyssa Milano. And if I saw anything where Alyssa Milano or Julian McMahon were in, I watched it, not even caring what it was, because I loved them so much.

I mean, I’ve always loved witches, you know? But this show just hit everything for me. Back then I really related to Phoebe the most, because she was the youngest and thus most relatable for pre-teen me, she was kind of a screw-up who didn’t really know what she was doing. I always wanted big sisters like Piper and Prue.

Many of my favorite tropes were first introduced to me there. Seriously, this show is why I love a good “everybody lives together”. A team as a family, by blood and also beyond that.

Them killing off Prue killed me. I cried so hard so long back then.

And also this is like the only show ever where I got incredibly invested in the canon ships. Leo/Piper, Cole/Phoebe, Andy/Prue. All. The. Way. Obviously, canon broke my heart twice but that doesn’t mean I can’t live in eternal denial.

It’s also the first time I encountered a TV show overstaying its welcome, because that last season was absolutely unnecessary, start to finish. The season before that had the perfect finale - the sisters, getting to live a normal life, then that little wink by the door closing just like Prue’s powers used to close it, it put tears in my eyes and had me incredibly content. Then they had to add a blonde Mary-Sue to the mix and go on for another season and just nope.

And yes, you notice my focus on Prue. I love her. She still remains my second favorite after Phoebe and I will admit I never quite warmed up to Paige and would have preferred if the whole... actor fall out hadn’t happened and Prue could have continued on in the show. So, that’s my favorite part of it; back when Prue was alive and Cole was also still alive.

18. rant about your favorite musician

...At this point, I am thinking that maybe you should have asked each number in a separate ask because this thing is long.

But okay, I actually do have something to rant about there!

HOW DOES THE YOUTH TODAY NOT UNDERSTAND PUNK. URGH.

A few weeks back, my favorite musician was on TV. There was a music event, I think it was a benefit and also a peaceful protest, led by him, among others, and before it, he stepped up to the mic to say a few words and I was watching that with my grandparents and my brother and he just went “Urgh, that guy again. Why does he have to be everywhere? And why is he talking about this? It’s none of his business, he should just do music”.

Like.

No.

Campino is a punk. Die Toten Hosen is a punk rock band.

Protesting the government and what is wrong with society is literally what punk does. Punk is only secondarily a music genre. First and foremost, it is a means to be loud and vocal about politics. So to organize a peaceful protest and to speak up about the mistreatment of immigrants in our country is literally what punk should be.

The fact that there’s younger people who don’t know that is terrifying. The fact that younger people in Germany just know Campino as an old musician and not as a punk is also terrifying. Go listen to DTH and study up on punk, please.

35. what does home mean to you?

Ah, finally a short one! xD (Just kidding, I do love ranting!)

Home is where I feel at ease, where I can be myself, where I’m happy. These requirements can be fulfilled outside of my own four walls - it’s like, when I am in London, this incredible sense of home fills me too, surprisingly enough. Gods, I wanna go back to London...

Unusual Ask Game

#About Me #Random Rants #lots of ranting #Unusual Ask Game #send me asks #shadowruned

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ninasfireescape · 5 years

Text

Jessica Jones season 3 review

Back when Jessica Jones started, more than three years ago, it was all I heard about on social media. It was up there in my top tv shows. There was something about it which set it far above other superhero content. We were not just presented with a big bad who was a crime lord but given what was a very real metaphor for the abuse faced by women. The show was an examination of rape culture and mental illness, all while keeping up the action typical of the genre, and kept me gripped from episode to episode. I watched at least one season of every other Marvel Netflix series and none of them quite compared. Though they could be enjoyable at times, their storylines were all over the place, they were too long so that you could easily zone out, and their villains felt laughable.

I really hated season 2 of Jessica Jones. I remember very little of it but the villain was introduced so late and the stakes did not feel high enough. So I had no idea what I should think of Jessica Jones season 3 and as a result, I kept my standards fairly low. Where did it lie in comparison to its predecessors? Somewhere between the two. On the level of most of the other series. Enjoyable enough but not something that you feel such a compulsion to continue watching. Something that you will have forgotten within a week of watching. However, I did have a lot of thoughts about it.

Firstly there is the feminist message of it. This came very naturally to the first season given the subject matter. The first season exposed something that was real for many women and that genuinely felt like a horror story. Trying to continue in the same vein was what really ruined the initial villain of this season for me. The bad guy, Sallinger, quickly became a straw misogynist, defending himself by ranting about how the only reason Jess was after him was because he was a white man and she’s must hate him. Sure, some men actually think like this but it took away much of his depth and felt like it was trying to bash in a feminist subtext that would have been there without him.

Now onto the conflict between Jess and Trish. I found Trish to actually be the most sympathetic character of the season which was ironic since I strongly disliked her last season. Meanwhile, I started to become irritated with Jess. She became patronizing and unnecessarily rude to everyone (her attitude towards her secretary was particularly mean) and it seemed like the writers were trying very hard to make her ‘’’edgy’’’. Jess clearly suffers from PTSD and is an alcoholic and I would have liked to see her receive help with this but it isn’t even suggested. This might have been a plotline in later seasons if it hadn’t been cancelled but I really wish it had been addressed more earlier on. Season 1 definitely focused on Jess’s mental health much more.

We saw the message that we have seen again and again in the superhero genre: if you kill bad people that makes you just as bad as them. At this point, we’re all tired of it. So when Trish killed some abusive men including the man who murdered her mother, I fully understood her actions. Yet she was treated as the real villain of the season. It felt hypocritical of marvel. Have we forgotten that Jess murdered Kilgrave in season 1? Have we forgotten the Punisher’s entire characterization involves him killing bad guys and he just gets called an antihero and gets his own tv show?

Jeri is a very difficult character to form an opinion on. I found her a very interesting character in season one. Though she was morally grey, for the most part, she was on the good side and we saw her with a woman she loved a lot. We have to remember she was the very first MCU LGBT character and is the most prominent out of those in their Netflix shows so it is rather suspicious that their she happens to be a very corrupt, self-serving figure. I became very angry with what they did with her in season 2 as she started to fall into the disgusting trope of the predatory lesbian. In season 1, she was very in love with her assistant who was likewise in love with her but in season 2, we hear she is being accused of sexual harassment by her, leading to Jeri saying something along the lines of “what did she expect, wearing a skirt that short, she was asking for it.” So we’re having the only major lesbian character use widely recognized rape culture phrases? Cool. And naturally, her storyline in season 2 became about her dying. Because what else can you do with a lesbian character? In season 3, I began to enjoy her storyline again but she still remained an incredibly horrible person. She manipulated her ex-girlfriend whom she hadn’t seen in 25 years and whom she had cheated on into breaking up with her husband and ultimately ruined her life. It was meant to be justified by the fact that Kith’s husband turned out to actually be bad but Jeri didn’t know that in the first place. Kith deserved far better than Jeri.

Jessica Jones has always had a problem in its treatment of characters of colour, particularly women of colour. I’ll admit I didn’t notice it so much during the first season because I was a lot younger and not as aware of the tropes as I am now. This season did not break that pattern. The women of colour are never major antagonists but they tend to be minor characters who cause inconveniences to our white protagonist and whom we are meant to disagree with. In season 2, we had the bossy Latina ex-wife of Jess’s love interest. In this season, we had the two policewomen trying to arrest Jess for a crime they believe she committed, a Latina woman who called the police on Jess, a black TV presenter who disagreed with Jess and Malcolm’s girlfriend, Zaya, who despite being listed as a series regular had a very minor role. Of course, there were also the characters of Kith and of Gillian whom I have just discovered is played by a transgender actress which is a very big deal for Marvel. However, they still lacked a voice in the narrative.

I was upset with how mistreated Zaya was by the narrative. She was working for Jeri and Malcolm was keeping secrets from her so of course she did not know for certain who was innocent and who was guilty and she was just doing her job, yet we were meant to see her as being in the wrong. Malcolm was the sweetest character in season 1 and possibly my favourite and he continued that way in season 2. My opinion of him during season 2 did start to go down when he went to a gay club for the purpose of blackmailing a closeted man and then got angry when said man hit on him. In season 3, he was lying to his girlfriend and cheating on her with a white woman which exemplifies the mistreatment of women of colour as love interests, especially love interests to men of the same race as them.

TLDR: Things I liked: Most of Trish’s storyline, Kith (although she should have had more of a role), cameo from Luke Cage!

Things I disliked: Dismissal of Jess’s mental illness, Jeri, Malcolm, Erik was a boring character

#alexia reviews #jessica jones #jessica jones spoilers #marvel

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be-dazzled · 5 years

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She’s In Your Court #SIYC Gray Fullbuster, Juvia Lockser FFnet link: click here Tumblr: explore here Genre: Multi-Chapter, Romance, Comedy Rating: M for Sensitive Language

SUMMARY: Gray Fullbuster is a player both in love and in life. He plays Professional Basketball and is being groomed to be in line with Basketball Legends Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Kobe Bryant and Stephen Curry.

There’s just one problem, Gray Fullbuster is a play-ah. His life is a giant mess of crazy parties, waking up with random women and waking up in random women’s apartments. Just living the life. The opinion of the public on him is waning. To save the million-dollar endorsements in the verge of disappearing, Gray needs to change his image. Therefore, Gray Fullbuster, Fiore Knight’s Team Captain and Most Valuable Player, will be in the next season of “My Star Can Dance”.

There’s another problem: it seems like his star isn’t that bright since his partner, one of Fiore’s prominent ballerinas, doesn’t know him? His billboard is hanging in front of her dancing school! And it was a good billboard since all he was wearing was his six-pack and an Aztec bandana. How come she didn’t notice?

The days are bright and so are the nights. ‘Cause when I’m with you I'm grinning Once I was screwed now I’m winning No I won't let you go Now you know

– Heart on Fire, Jonathan Clay

Juvia Lockser held herself together until she finally got inside her house. But the moment the door clicked shut behind her, the memory of the kiss sapped all her strength in one go.

The ballerina leaned against the oak door, heart trembling in excitement. She had no idea how late it was but Juvia Lockser was wide awake. Every cell in her body was electrified by the kiss. She lifted her fingers to her own lips. The warmth of Gray’s lips lingered and his taste stayed.

Oh his taste.

Juvia wondered if it was okay to let him kiss her and in such a way on what technically was their first date. (She finally gave up in the middle of it all and finally called it a date.) Juvia wasn’t sure. It has been a while since the last time she went on one.

The following morning, as the memory of last night flashed before her eyes, a wave of shame hit her at full speed. Juvia ought to hit herself with the way she cradled her body against Gray’s; like it was the most normal thing to do. She probably looked too promiscuous. Oh, and how welcoming she was when he slid his tongue in. Juvia slapped her palms against her burning cheeks. She wasn’t her normal self. But it’s 2019. Kids nowadays were a bit straightforward and liberated. A kiss on the first day was normal, right?

“Okay, Juvia. Just act normal.”

The wall clock on her studio read 3:50. Its short hand stroke clockwise. Juvia could almost hear it ticking. Or it could have been her heart beating against her chest. She wasn’t sure anymore.

From: BILLBOARD GUY

BE THERE IN 10.

Juvia prepped herself as she waited. She felt both nervous and excited. It was crazy. Why did she have to feel all conscious when it was her own studio?

There was only one reason: last night she wasn’t able to sleep. Not just because she actually stayed up to google ‘kiss on a first date’ and something along that line. While the results shocked and comforted her, Juvia had one problem: she was going to face Gray in practice today and Juvia Lockser had no idea how to do just about that.

Juvia expelled a long breath.

“Normal.” She finally chanted. Yet, the fast hammering in her chest morphed into butterflies in the stomach.

Was a kiss on a first date appropriate? The internet was divided. For Juvia, however, she wouldn’t normally do it. She’d save a light peck on the lips for when she was finally exclusively dating the guy. But last night’s kiss wasn’t a light peck. Suddenly remembering what transpired the night before, Juvia felt the heat rise up her cheeks.

“Are you alright, Juvia?”

Levy came up behind her and startled the ballerina.

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”

Levy narrowed her brown eyes at the blushing ballerina. Her look was suspicious. Juvia had to admit, she sounded a little defensive there.

“Anyway, what are you doing here, Shrimp?” Juvia quickly changed the subject before Shrimp had the opportunity to interrogate her about turning tomato.

“Well, tallest woman around here…”

Juvia smiled at the jab. Shrimp was learning to fight for herself.

“We’re going to take a clip of you and Gray practicing. It’s for the AVP.”

Juvia looked over her friend’s shoulders. It wasn’t really hard to do so because Juvia was taller than Levy. Behind the writer, the show’s crew was already setting up their expensive film equipment.

“I called and texted to remind you last night, remember?”

Of course, not. That part skipped her mind. With that thing with Gray happening last night, how could she remember anything else?

“Right.” Juvia lied but Levy did not buy into it.

Levy could tell when she was lying or trying to keep something from her. If there was one thing she’d learned within those ten years of friendship it’s that Juvia Lockser was a bad liar. But she had to give it to Juvia, the woman was great at avoiding topics; ignoring the poor “My Star Can Dance” writer included.

Juvia walked back to the reception desk where her young assistant, Mary, busied herself around the computer. The ignored show writer trailed behind her. If Levy wanted to get some information, she would have to work for it.

“So… you went on a date last night, huh?”

“It wasn’t a date.”

Juvia knew Shrimp would never back down. The latter was already phishing for answers. Also, didn’t she finally give up and started calling last night a date?

“It’s all over the news you know. Even trending on twitter!” Levy squealed.

The shorter bluenette took one of the seats at the reception desk and planted her elbows on the flat surface. She was going to get to the bottom of things.

“It’s true!” Mary acclaimed, weighing in on the conversation. “It’s trending at Top 2 on twitter. Look, Ms. Juvia.” Mary all but shoved the phone to Juvia’s face who acted as if she didn’t care a whit. Truth of the matter was it got Juvia curious.

“It’s giving us a lot of publicity.”

“That’s good, then.”

Juvia reminded herself to create her own twitter account later. Of course, she’d lurk around that site under an assumed handle name.

“You met the Fiore Knights?” Levy’s brown eyes glistened with excitement. She could only imagine how it would have been to be surrounded by the men from Fiore Knights. Her high school fan-girl heart was leaping.

“Yeah. They were nice.”

It wasn’t the reaction Levy McGarden had in mind. She expected some squealing, high-fiving, excited shrilling: the full fan-girl experience!

“C’mon! Spill the deets, Juv.”

Talking to Juvia Lockser about her date was like talking to a brick wall. The woman wouldn’t budge an inch. Levy could not help but wonder when did her best friend get so secretive?

“We danced and had fun, Levy. That’s all.”

Poor Levy; Juvia wouldn’t give her the real thing. But Juvia wasn’t ready to throw it out to the universe, the real thing. She wasn’t even sure herself what last night meant. They went out, they had fun and they kissed. But that was all there was to it – just fun.

Juvia felt a knot in her stomach. For all she knew, she could just be another name in Gray’s list. That possibility stung a little. Did she want something more from him? Could she expect more from Gray? Juvia had no answer. But if there was something she was quite sure of, she didn’t want to be just some fun night for Gray.

Gray couldn’t sleep; he couldn’t sleep a wink. When he reached his uptown loft last night, he threw himself on the bed; heart leaping in joy. It has been awhile since he went on a date ‘date’ and not just some one-nighter with some stranger.

Gray tossed and turned in his bed and screamed into the pillow. His body simply cannot contain the excitement from tasting Juvia’s kiss.

“Should I text her?”

The man bolted up from his lying position and searched for his phone. Fishing it out from his pocket, Gray started typing something in his mobile. But for some reason, the confident Fiore Knights Captain became so unsure of himself and it made him delete and retype his message over and over again.

Suddenly, it hit him. It has been awhile since he went on an actual date and not just some hook-up with a meal plan. He forgot all about the SOP. Should he text her? Should he call? Should he just leave the woman alone?

It was easier for one-night stands. He just left them ‘thank you’ notes and never saw them again. That was it. He did not like any drama. With Juvia it was different. Gray wanted to see her everyday. He actually looked forward to every meeting and every practice. He missed her the moment they separate. Like how he missed her now.

“No. I should call her.”

Gray scrolled through his contacts and ended at Juvia’s name. Just as he was about to click ‘call’, the current circumstances registered to him. His eyes darted on the desk clock sitting on his nightstand; it read four.

“She’s probably asleep now.”

As much as he wanted to hear her voice again, Gray decided against calling at that ungodly hour. He settled on just staring at the photo of him and Juvia from the party earlier. Natsu sent it to him but not before some friendly teases and violent threats.

Gray remembered the moment immortalized in the paragraph. He had said something funny which earned a laugh from the ballerina. They looked so comfortable and so natural that Natsu called it cozy. Gray was looking at her, at Juvia who had her usually condescending eyes closed. Her nose crinkled too. Then his gaze fell on her lips and Gray remembered their kiss and how she tasted.

Oh, her taste. How much he missed it.

The following morning, Gray still had that foolish smile on his face. He looked for his phone first and pondered over sending Juvia a good morning text. He did, writing a short but sweet message. His heart hammered like crazy as he waited for Juvia’s reply. It almost jumped of his chest when not a minute later he received a reply from the ballerina.

He waited not long to continue the conversation but his typing was interrupted by a call. It was Briar.

“Oh, shhh*!” Gray cursed. He guessed he should save the texting for later.

Gray walked into the gymnasium like some kind of a hero or a punchline of a joke. It depended on how he would take the teasing from his team. But he was such in a good mood he didn’t even give a damn. He used that energy to wipe the floor with his Vice Captain’s face.

“Someone’s all fired up.” Natsu managed to say as he tried to catch his breath. He was the one guarding the Team Captain and was effortlessly side-stepped.

“Try to keep up, Old Fart.” Gray patted his Vice Captain at the back, mocking him with pretentious concern.

“Don’t be too smug.” Natsu yelled after him.

Gray only shrugged at him. Then he pointed at the scoreboard. 15 vs. 5. Team White, headed by Vice Captain Natsu, got some catching up to do.

“A man in love is invincible.” Loke, Fiore Knight’s Resident Playboy, proudly announced.

“Are you on my team or what? Just get to your position.” Natsu hissed.

“Geez. Who hurt you?” Loke thought his Vice Captain needed to get a girlfriend. And fast.

The practice match ended with Gray’s Black Team winning by a landslide. He rushed over to the bleachers and searched for his phone in his duffel. On bat, he opened the message from Juvia.

‘HAVE FUN. CAREFUL.’

The message said. It felt like Gray was back in High School exchanging texts with his first girlfriend. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach. He bit his towel to refrain from squealing.

‘YOU TOO. WILL BE THERE AFTER A FEW MORE ROUNDS.’

Gray texted back.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Ms. Lockser?”

Gray raised a bow at his nosy teammate.

“What? You went home together after the party, right?” Loke accused.

Gray could see the interest in Loke’s eyes. Knowing the playboy, he was waiting to hear from him since this morning.

“Well, you really want to know?”

The orange head bobbed in anticipation; his eyes sparkled with excitement. Gray’s adventures had always been exciting. Natsu, who stayed behind, just shook his head. He knew where the conversation was going.

“Come closer.” Gray invited, putting his arm around his small forward’s shoulder and pulled him close. He lowered his voice as if telling the man a secret.

“I drove her home.” Gray purposely talked slow, playing on his listener’s anticipation. He paused for reaction when Loke, so invested with the story, impatiently pressed him to continue.

“Then, we went to bed...” Gray hit the playboy at the back of his head. “Separately, you snoop.” He finished and the entire gym erupted in laughter.

“Geez, man. You got me excited for nothing.” Loke complained as he nursed the pain at the back of his head. He didn’t get mad at his Captain’s violence. If Loke had to ask himself, Mr. Playboy deserved it.

Natsu laughed at Loke’s misfortune. Knowing his best friend and Team Captain, he knew Gray would never kiss and tell. Sometimes, he did just to rub such fact in Loke’s face. They have some kind of stupid competition. Boys will be boys. Sometimes, he saved those details to himself. Especially when it came to a woman like Juvia.

The sound of the whistle yanked their heads back to the coach. Coach Macao called the team for another round. Gray asked for an extra minute. He wanted to send Juvia one last text before he finished practice.

‘CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU.’

He just hit send when he felt a sudden contact with a hard object. It bounced off his head.

“Hey!” His anger deflated quickly when he turned around and saw Briar glaring at him. Her hands were on her hips, eyes narrowed at him. Briar did not look happy.

“Get your head out of your pants and focus.”

Gray laughed it off like a bad joke. He knew he was in the wrong so he did not bother to cook up some excuse. Texting during practice was not professional of him.

“Yes, boss!” He gave Briar a salute as he jogged past his manager’s murderous look.

At the other end of the line, a certain blue-head choked on her bottle of water reading the last text Gray sent.

Gray shook his hands and his entire body. The excitement and the familiar feeling were threatening to escape his body. The cool down exercises were not enough.

A sharp breath escaped him. Gray needed to let it out. His heart was beating like crazy.

“C’mon, self. We’ve waited the whole day for this.” He prepped himself before pushing the twin door open.

Juvia’s beauty was magnet. Gray came upon that realization because the moment he entered Juvia’s studio, his eyes wandered over to where the ballerina was. From that moment, he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Gray walked over to the reception desk where two blue-heads and a pink one gathered. He met Juvia’s eyes and he recognized the slight surprise in them. Gray smiled at her, the yearning feeling bringing his feet to where she was. He was glad when she walked around the desk and toward him.

Gray anticipated the friendly greeting, he wasn’t sure how Juvia would approach him. Would she give him a kiss? A hug? Either would not be so bad, Gray thought. They stopped in the middle, a few feet away from each other. Gray leaned in for a kiss but Juvia walked past him after saying, “get changed.”

That was it? No kiss or hug or anything? He was disappointed but the smile would not leave his lips. When he turned around he saw the show’s crew studying them.

“Ah, maybe, she’s shy.” He told himself. He would let it pass for now. They both need to focus.

When he returned after changing into his practice clothes, a few crew members asked for his autograph and took photos. Then the production director briefed Gray and Juvia on the scenes that they needed to film. Whenever he got the chance, Gray would strike up a conversation with Juvia. Every time, however, she found some reason to dodge him.

Gray had enough of it. So, when he pulled the evasive ballerina against him per their dance routine, Hoopster discreetly asked.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not.” Juvia answered point blank.

“Yes, yes you are.”

When he turned her around to face him, Gray saw Juvia inhale a breath. Her eyes landed on his lips. Then, she shook her head as if trying to shake away some thoughts. Gray was pleased. He knew she liked the kiss and, like him, she wanted more.

The next section of the routine brought Juvia to face the audience with her back leaning against Gray’s chest. Hoopster seized the contact and leaned in to whisper something to Juvia’s ears.

“I’m sure you remembered last night’s–”

What he was about to say next was cut-off by Juvia, placing a finger on his parted lips. She then traced a seductive trail from his lips down his chest before she ended the choreography. Gray was caught off-guard at how she turned the table on him. He froze on the spot; his body went haywire from the simple touch.

“That-that wasn’t in the original choreography.”

Gray announced which drew laughter from their audience.

“That’s going in the final cut.” He heard someone say.

It was little over eight in the evening when the production director called it a day. His crew members gathered all their expensive equipment and bade goodbye to the stars of the day – Juvia and Gray. Levy stayed behind and chatted a little about the live performance. In the next few days, Juvia and Gray would be performing in front of a live studio audience.

Mary was the last one to leave. Juvia felt a knot in her stomach when she realized that she was now all alone with Gray. Breathe in, breathe out, she ordered herself. She was going to face him whether she liked or not.

What was she so afraid of?

If Juvia was being honest, she was afraid that the kiss meant nothing to Gray. To her, there was something. That fear gripped at her heart. To Gray, she knew, she was easily replaceable. When she turned around, ready to face the music, Gray was already standing before her waiting for some sort of explanation.

“So, should we talk about last night?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

It was Juvia’s defense mechanism – managing expectations. In order to protect her feelings and to stop before she began to feel something she shouldn’t, Juvia masked her fear with indifference. She’d pull back before it was too late. Gray was the kind who jumped from one lover to another, Juvia wasn’t.

“Really? So can you please explain to me why you’re acting so distant all of a sudden?”

“What are you talking about? I’m my normal self.” Juvia defended, looking everywhere but at Gray.

She walked past him and pretended to arrange the stack of magazines on the counter. It was, at least, true. She was just back to the serious, no non-sense Juvia that she originally was.

“Then look at me.”

Juvia did as she was told, wanting to prove Gray wrong. The ballerina looked Gray in the eyes for a second but she couldn’t hold his gaze. Her eyes keep drifting away from his eyes and unto his lips. She caught herself drawn into his enticing lips.

Last night’s kiss flooded her memory and it awakened a longing she had been fighting all day. Juvia pulled away before she revealed more of herself. But before she could turn away from him completely, Gray caught her by the waist and ended both their agony.

Gray crashed his lips against hers. Juvia tried to pull back but he slid his hand behind and cupped her head, holding the helpless ballerina to him. She stopped fighting the voice at the back of her mind and surrendered to her feelings. Juvia kissed Gray back with the same fervor. His taste was as sweet and as heady as she remembered. Only this time, Gray wasn’t holding back and neither was she. Juvia softened into him and molded her body to fit his. She instinctively tried to get close to him as much as possible, unable to stand the idea of being apart. So did Gray. He held Juvia against him, afraid to lose her woman.

The kiss was the type she never had before: satisfying and hungry at the same time.

Juvia didn’t hear a knock but as soon as she heard her assistant’s voice, she pushed Gray with all her willpower.

The arrival of the sudden guest stunned the two and the panic of getting caught rotted the couple on the spot. Juvia wished Mary didn’t see anything or she wouldn’t be able to live it down.

“Mary! What brings you in here?” Juvia managed to ask as she tried to hide the red spread over her cheeks.

“I just forgot the papers you told me to study, Ms. Juvia.” Mary answered.

Mary threw the couple a suspicious look but Gray played it cool. While Juvia, Juvia was stuttering like a bad liar. If Mary didn’t know better, she’d think her boss was so eager to get rid of her with the way she was almost shoving the girl out the door.

Maybe, Juvia Lockser was eager to be left alone with Gray Fullbuster.

A sigh of relief escaped her lungs. Juvia’s legs almost gave out. She leaned against the twin doors after shutting them close, her back against the wood. She finally let out the breath she was holding. Next thing she knew Gray was right in front of her, just a breath away. She saw his intent and had only time for an indrawn breath when Gray pressed her against the door, his mouth was on hers. He was ready to pick up where they left off.

Writer’s Corner: Hi guys! I’ve uploaded the latest chapter per @justbeingtruemyself‘s request. Thank you for all your support especially @ship-ambrosia @thewritingstar @juviaesthetic. You guys make me feel special with all your comments. Hope you guys like this new chapter.

To all other Gruvians, let’s keep the fire burning. #GruviaForever

#gray x juvia #gruvia #gray fullbuster #juvia lockser #she's in your court #siyc #gruvia fanfiction #gruvia au

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sheyffer · 5 years

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On Bradley (and the rest of this show’s glorified ableism)

Do I have your attention? Good. Because I have things to say.

This is the collective salt built up over the course of most of this entire season, so be warned. This will be long, and most of you aren’t gonna like this - so feel free to skip to the bottom line at the end of the post, I guess.

Without further ado:

So. If you’ve been following me or are a somewhat frequent visitor on the show’s tag(s), you might have noticed I like Bradley. With how much screentime he’s been getting lately, I should be happy, right? Well, I would be, but instead, it just made me feel terrible, week after week. People who’ve talked to me during those times will know. But let me explain.

- Bradley and me

Cheesy title, but what’re you gonna do. See, when MML first came around, I was pretty quick to declare Bradley my favorite character. The first few episodes were great, and I loved what they set Bradley up to be: A kid living in Milo’s shadow, dealing with the rightful bitterness coming out of that. His friendship (or whatever you wanna call it) with Mort and his crush on Melissa had great potential, and knowing these writers, I was expecting some great episodes in these directions. Not that we ever got any, but more on that later.

As the show went on, I noticed something else about Bradley. I know there are a bunch of “(character) is autistic” headcanons out there - and I’m not gonna say anything against those because they’re all valid -, and that Bradley’s also come up in these regards several times. I fully support that headcanon (partly because I’m autistic myself and he’s my favorite character so projection is bound to happen in one way or another), but there’s something specific I’d like to bring up: something I’ll call the switch, for lack of a better word. I will admit that I’m not spending time with other autistic people that often so I can only really speak for myself here... but man. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a (cartoon) character that so obviously has that very same issue (whether the writers intended that or not is another topic; again, see further down). I’m struggling with it a lot myself, as good as on the daily, and seeing actual representation of this in a show makes me feel incredibly validated - because, again, when does any character ever have this?

- A little tangent regarding that “switch”

I should explain what I mean in the first place, of course. Basically, I’ll only care about a topic if it actually affects me in some way, and if it doesn’t, my attention is basically zero. No matter how close we are, I probably won’t even attempt to fake interest when you’re talking about something that has no significance to me, because if I do, people tend to notice quite easily (and I prefer keeping things genuine because me being dishonest would arguably just complicate things further if people realized eventually). Better yet, with the stuff I am interested in, I often end up caring way too much - so it really is kind of a switch, per se. My emotional investment is either full on or full off, no inbetween. Makes me an awful person to be around when you want to talk about anything beyond the fandoms or characters I’m currently interested in, for the most part, but I’m glad about the people who, for years, have stuck with and supported me anyway :’) Maybe you can see by now how Bradley reminds me of this, but here’s some assorted aspects:

Him failing to somewhat relate to Milo no matter how similar they kind of are in various regards

Him actually being friends with and hanging out with plenty of people he gets along with great (compared to having none whatsoever, as could’ve easily been the case if he really was just a jerk), though he's almost never the one to initiate the conversation unless it's Milo related

Him being straight up rude to those people at times, resulting in everyone getting mad at him (which I can’t really blame them for, but still)

And him in turn being way too emotionally invested in certain topics, see Milo and what Bradley believes to be him stealing the show (and Carla, of course)

Melissa puts it really well in Milo's World when she says Milo is so great because he always cares deeply about other people - Bradley quite literally can't get on that level, so it's no surprise he's this bitter, really. What's he supposed to do? He'll never have it in him to apologize for his salt because there's absolutely no reason to in his eyes. He simply doesn't care if other people are sad or hurt by his words, and not even voluntarily so: He believes he's right and doesn't grasp why people don't get him, which may just be because he's so emotional - and less rational - about it... and when he’s generally the quiet-ish grump who's not too bad but also just never quite the friend that genuinely cares about you as a person because he's just this apathetic, any emotional reaction you get out of him is immediately rendered an uncalled-for outburst. Not saying everyone else is awful to get mad at him, because I can't really blame them at all with how much of a jerk he actually comes off as (and him trying to explain is probably awkward phrasing in the "sorry but I don't actually care about your feelings, no offense" direction that immediately makes people get mad at him again), but don’t paint him as inherently awful. This is likely as hard for him as it is for everyone else, I’ve been there myself... but yeah. So much for that.

- The crossover and its aftermath

Needless to say, I was pretty disappointed by most of the second half of season one when it came to Bradley’s screentime, especially since he’d been such a prominent character early on. So when the crossover came around and he got that plant arm, I was like - great! A physical difference to go along with his mental issues and to give him even more reasons to get a little character arc and a push towards morally darker gray areas! This isn’t something they can ignore anymore, right?

Ha. Sure.

It was bad enough that in those first few episodes after the crossover, he had that arm and it was never brought up by either him or anyone else. And then we did get people acknowledging it exists - but it was either treated as a joke or, worse, something to “get over”.

Where do I even begin.

- Yeah, how about no

It’s bad enough that the writers confirmed they only added the plant arm because “it’s funny” - not because “hey, let’s give our main antagonist kid a visible reason to have an arc” or anything in a remotely decent direction. It’s worse that most of the viewers apparently agree, because I’ve hardly heard a negative comment on the matter over the course of these last few episodes. But seriously - how am I supposed to enjoy this (honestly great amount of) screentime Bradley’s been getting lately when all he’s reduced to is the comedic relief? Make Chad and his supernatural antics the hilarious one for all I care, but don’t use the kid who very clearly has physical (and mental) issues whether you actually headcanon him as having anything specific or not. All I got to see in these last episodes is Bradley rightfully pointing out his arm (Milo’s World, Ride Along Little Doggie), him being legitimately upset (The Mid-Afternoon Snack Club), or him honestly just being in the episode altogether (First Impressions), only to have other - main - characters make fun of, or belittle, or get mad at him and have them be portrayed as “in the right” with not a single ounce of sympathy for Bradley whatsoever. As for First Impressions: I’ve been that (autistic) kid excited for the first day of school but not getting in in time. It’s horrible. (Though I’m willing to let this one slide because it reasonably builds up his strong dislike for Milo)

- On an episode in particular

For what it’s worth, The Mid-Afternoon Snack Club isn’t all bad. Hardly an episode is. But it’s easily the most painful to watch for me, for numerous reasons. And that includes certain fandom reactions I’ve witnessed.

Carla. However hilarious or weird (or both) you or the characters may find this, he clearly doesn’t. Even if the writers only added it as a joke to begin with - I’ve had similar experiences myself. I’ve been in Bradley’s position, and sure, I can’t blame the characters for, initially, belittling him for this stuff. But for the love of all the gods I believe in, don’t just completely ignore the distress he’s going through and change the topic like that (while he’s still in the middle of the breakdown, no less). I expected better at least from Milo or Mort.

Zack’s “character development”. In any other situation, I might have appreciated Zack’s talk about feeling like being in Milo’s shadow. But not only is this literally what Bradley was supposed to be about this whole time - Zack immediately gets reassurance and comfort by the other characters. The best Bradley ever got was rude comments on being uncalled for. Goes right along with:

Only the good guys deserve happiness, apparently. Whenever Murphy’s Law does its thing and someone has an issue with it, Melissa and the others are quick to comment on how it isn’t Milo’s fault and whoever has the issue is clearly just being rude and uncalled for. Whenever Bradley does something mildly unpleasant, the very same characters get mad at him and are portrayed as being in the right. As people have pointed out before, Milo and Bradley aren’t all that fundamentally different - but because Milo is the protagonist (tm) and, in-universe, nice to people and (as I’ve heard) adorable, people treat him well enough, while it’s apparently the right thing to be awful to Bradley, because he’s the antagonist(/comedic relief) and not the nicest person around. (For the record, I like Milo and appreciate how supportive people are of his issues. It’s just the jarring contrast with Bradley’s treatment that bothers me.)

Bradley’s “character development”. It’s been a thing I’ve read about regarding this episode and that’s apparently been getting quite a bit of acknowledgement. And sorry, but what? Randomly making Bradley a nice guy who doesn’t mind being around Milo & Co isn’t “character development”. More likely than anything, it’s “oh no, we have three episodes left and can’t have any relevant-ish character not like Milo before this is over, but we don’t have enough time to even half-ass Bradley’s “arc” so let’s just make him be nice for the sake of this montage”. It’s more of a disservice to the kid than anything, especially when in this season in particular, pretty much nobody was nice to him, ever.

- What I’m getting at (took a while, I know)

I’m basically Bradley, for what it’s worth. Whether he intentionally has to deal with the switch or not, his portrayal is incredibly similar to what I’m like, socially and otherwise. Seeing him treated like this for episodes on end is absolutely horrible for me. And I’m an adult who dares believe they figured out their mind for the most part - what about kids? Actual kids (like me ages ago, who only learned about autism to begin with because of really liking Ferb and finding an autism-related post about him) who can relate to Bradley as much as I do because they’ve been there themselves, only for the Good Guys to treat him like this? Even if you ignore all this semi-projection-based talk about mental disorders, his plant arm is still very real and as much of a handicap as anything. It doesn’t matter that the creators added it (and Carla, and probably Bradley’s other antics) as a joke, there are people out there for whom this is anything but that. They deserve happiness as much as anyone, no matter if they’re not the nicest people around (unless, of course, they have really problematic views, but Bradley is far from entering that territory). If anything, they deserve people at least attempting to understand where they’re coming from - and writers who treat even the protagonist’s foil as more than just a joke.

(Disclaimer: No, I’m not saying nobody should call Bradley out when he’s being rude. Even things like the switch only explain his behavior and don’t completely excuse it - he should have to feel the consequences of his actions as much as anyone. But right now, nobody is making any attempt to help him change for the better; they’re making everything far worse, if anything. An episode of Milo, or Mort, or anyone really, actually being willing to so much as listen to his side of the story... that’s all it takes. And can’t be that hard to pull off, can it?)

But since I’m already talking about this kind of stuff:

- And Elliot, too

If only Bradley was the only one. I’m not gonna say anything against Elliot being a jerk (World Without Milo did a good job portraying him in that regard), but even he deserves better than this. I’m talking, of course, about Safety First, in which Elliot has something I can only describe as PTSD, complete with a trigger word and everything. I will admit I haven’t seen the episode since it aired (and am not planning on doing so again), but man. It’s obvious enough how much the trigger word aspect was used as a joke, but then apparently we learn that you can just randomly be cured of your trauma in a few effortless minutes. How nice to know for a few people I know.

- The bottom line

I have plenty of issues with MML when it comes to plot, or pacing, or humor (which, maybe, deserve their own posts eventually). But this right here is by far my biggest problem of them all. Sure, it’s a show for kids, and sure, you aren’t supposed to take something with this kinda premise super seriously - but that doesn’t mean there aren’t aspects that should be. Whether the creators are aware of how their characters come across or not, there are parts even they should know not to be this disrespectful about. And maybe I could get over things like Carla on their own, but when so many little aspects are condensed into a single character, it really stops being something I can ignore. Especially when the characters interacting with him display such infuriating Protagonist-Centered Morality, and even more especially when it’s related to issues that could really use some proper representation in the media anyway, particularly in shows for this kind of audience.

I’m not saying this because I don’t care about the show (and could’ve stopped watching it easily if I have so many problems with it), it’s because I do. I know these people can produce fantastic content, P&F is a prime example. The first few episodes of MML are, too. But after that, it all kind of falls apart for me, with some gems here and there. And yet I still care about these characters (certain ones, anyway), and carry the hope that they will at some point get the treatment they deserve. Until then, I’ll be here writing fics to take care of that when the show fails to - you’re free to ask me about them if you’re interested, for that matter.

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far. Complain about my opinion all you want, I know it’s such a jarring wave of negativity in a fandom that’s hardly used to that - but hey. Someone’s gotta be the Bradley here. In more ways than most people with any relation to MML are comfortable with.

Take it or leave it.

#milo murphy's law #mml #Bradley Nicholson #elliot decker #the bradley tag #negative #too bad :ß

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writerrain · 5 years

Note

I have to ask, why is Gary the Slytherin and Nora the Hufflepuff? Do you have more?

Thank you for asking!

First of all, I want to apologize, because I think I take this kind of thing too seriously and I’m going to write quite a lot.

[After finishing this post I realized that I almost wrote an essay and it was probably better to hide it under a Keep reading]

Gary

So, one of the most underrated traits Gary shows is his ambition. The most recent example is how bummed he was when he noticed that Zari, who had just joined the Bureau, was his superior: his smile and his general demanor display a certain degree of envy, proof of his ambition. I think that this trait was revealed mostly at the beginning of season 3, when he was almost competent. One time, if I’m not mistaken, he phoned a colleague who had got a promotion or something to congratulate them and then, after he had hung up, he had said something along the lines of “I’m coming for you”, which demonstrates how he wants to rise up the ranks. One of the most prominent traits of Slytherins is being ambitious/power-hungry, and even if Gary doesn’t show this trait too often, it’s still one of his characteristics.

Another detail that shows his to ambition may also be seen in his dnd gaming. His character (hence who he wants to be, in a way) is a warlock. I have sporadically played dnd, so I don’t know too much about classes, so I am going to use the information found on this page for reference. Warlocks get their powers “through pacts made with mysterious beings of supernatural power” (which shows to what extent they would go for power); another quote that I think might be useful to understand this desire for more knowledge and power (and a Ravenclaw would seek knowledge rather than power) is “warlocks are driven by an insatiable need for knowledge and power, which compels them into their pacts and shapes their lives. This thirst drives warlocks into their pacts and shapes their later careers as well.” I think that the choice Gary made (which could be completelly coincidental, I don’t think that the writers went this deep, they probably just wanted to make him look geeky and make him love John on sight) is relevant to this argument.

Another Slytherin aspect that has to be taken into account is loyalty. Slytherins are not, per se, extremely loyal (this is a more Hufflepuff trait, which I think it’s why Gary would appear more like a Hufflepuff). Their loyalty is more linked to usefullness, but if we think about how many powerful Slytherin families followed Voldemort despite everything we have to admit that there is some sort of loyalty there, despite their ambition; otherwise, an ambitious group of people would have never followed just one guy for such a long time, but someone would have tried to overthrow him (which is also why I think that making all the Slytherins follow blindly Voldemort is bullshit because their main trait is ambition, not blind submission, but this is an argument between me an JKR). So, Slytherin has to be linked to a “selective loyalty” of some sorts, and I think that Gary displays also this quality. He is loyal to most of the characters we know and love, but as soon as Zari in The Getaway tells him that Hank is possibly compromised, he jumps on the conspiracy theory boat and works against his temporary boss, whithout even asking Zari for proof. This shows this sort of “selective loyalty” I’m talking about: Hank has done nothing to get Gary’s respect (hell, he probably didn’t even know his name), so there was no reason to be loyal to him. I don’t think he would have betrayed Ava as easily, because Gary is loyal to a selected group of people, and she is definitely the person Gary trusts the most except maybe John, but after the unicorn thing I don’t know.

Nora

Now, Nora’s case is trickier. However, she doesn’t fit the Slytherin type, in my opinion, because she lacks ambition. She didn’t want Mallus because her ambition was to destroy the world, she wanted Mallus because her dad’s ambition was to destroy the world, and she was loyal to him. Blindly loyal. She starts to question his actions only after getting to know Ray. If we compare this to how quick Gary questions his loyalty to the Bureau in The Getaway, we see how their faith in their superiors/parents differ, and I think this, more than other trait, show why they belong to the “unexpected” house.

The downside of loyalty is being easily walked over by others. Nora is indeed walked over by the person she loves the most, her father, the moment she accepts to carry a freaking time demon for him. And it’s clear that Damien doesn’t consider her as an equal, at least at first, as shown in No Country for Old Dads. The fact that she gives herself away like that also demonstrates selflessness and helpfullness, other traits that can be associated with Hufflepuffs, who are always ready to help. Furthermore, when talking about the warlocks in Gary’s paragraph, it was said that warlocks seek “knowledge and power” and hence they make pacts with supernatural beings/demons, but Nora wasn’t really seeking knowledge, nor power. She can use magic even without Mallus, and while she is in prison she reads Mick’s books, which I’m pretty sure are more entertaining than pools of knowledge (which also excludes the Ravenclaw option; not all bookworms are Ravenclaw).

It is also important to note that we get to see Nora as a child, which is a kind of representation that Gary lacks (on the Arrowverse Wikia page we can read this, however: “When Gary was a kid, he used to tell his friends that his dad was an orthodontist, thinking it sounded much cooler than a dentist”, from I, Ava, and to me this is a Very Slytherin move). Child Nora, on the Arrowverse Wiki, is described as “kind, caring, polite and innocent", and if she hadn’t been possessed (thank you, Damien) and hence influenced by a demon (and her father) she could have grown to be a more stereotypical Hufflepuff. Her father’s influence is strong, yet we cannot say that she is entirely evil, and she has good intentions most of the times. I think that her only ambition, recently, is being good, which sounds pretty Hufflepuff to me.

Furthermore, I think that if Nora was a Slytherin, she would take any chance to freedom she can get. Yet, she becomes friends with Mona and Ava, the people in charge of her confinement, and she never uses them to get out of her cell. Hell, she goes back after Gary frees her! And she tells Gary (a guy she barely knows) to be safe when she realizes there’s a powerful demon around! And the only thing that makes her strong enough to get out of her cell is Hank’s death! She wants to check on the person who kept her prisoner and didn’t even consider her as a human being (while Ava, at least, had a different attitude towards her at the end of Tender is the Nate) just out of her own kindness. If that is not a caring Hufflepuff I don’t know what it is! Maybe a Gryffindor, but definitely not a Slytherin.

Long story short, these are the main reasons why I think these two characters belong to the aforementioned houses. These are definitely debeatable opinions, and if anyone wants to argue with me I’m more than happy to do it! The best thing about sorting, I think, is that it shows how characters are perceived differently by people in the same fandom, who consume the same kind of content; we all see different nuances, and getting to know other’s opinions, I think, is a way to get to know the character better, from points of view that weren’t considered before.

And to answer to your last question (if this is what you were asking): yes, of course I have more sorting opinions. I think that somewhere on my laptop there’s a word document entirely devoted to observations on different characters and Hogwarts houses, and I think I have written something about Legends, at least until season 2.

#Rain talks #ask #I am not proud to say that I worked harder on this than on the group presentation I have to prepare for Wednesday #I am a terrible person #gary green #nora darhk #slytherin #hufflepuff #sorting #hogwarts houses #there might be a lot of typos in this #and I'm not sure about the consecutio temporum #I get very distracted when I write this kind of things #sorry #anyway #if anyone want to talk about this/reply feel free to do it!#legends of tomorrow #I can write 1339 words on sorting but I can't make a fucking powerpoint on Bronze Age Sardinia #why am I like this

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crusherthedoctor · 5 years

Text

Christmas Time, Christmas Island

"Still awake, eh?"

"Well, that's insomnia for you, isn't it?"

Sonic the Hedgehog had been enjoying his time in the island of Viridonia, despite uncovering yet another plot by the deranged madman known as Dr. Eggman. Tonight however, he was having a little rest. The winter season was approaching, and him and his friends had went to a particular foresty area by the Gleaming Meadows, where it was said to be the first place in the meadow that you could see the drop of snow.

Alas, there had not yet been a single drop. They had waited for a fair while, but still nothing. By this point, Tails, Amy and Cream had fallen asleep comfortably after having waited for so long, but Sonic was still keeping a watchful eye, grateful that his surroundings were at least pleasant to look at under the night sky. Luckily for him, he wasn't alone on that, for the newest friend he had made, Lutrudis, was doing the same thing.

"Not tired yourself either?" the horse inquired.

"Nah," the hedgehog replied, as he remained comfortable resting by the biggest tree in the meadow. Having finished carefully pulling a blanket over their other three friends (evidently, she predicted not all of them would be staying awake through this event), Lutrudis sat down beside Sonic and followed suit, though she did so very carefully so as not to flare up her fragile body.

"How often do you get snow in winter?" Sonic asked.

"Goes either way, really," Lutrudis shrugged, as she very mildly crossed her legs. She chuckled. "Either there's too much, or there's barely much. And half the time it comes a month later. I could quite possibly count all the White Christmases I've experienced with my two hands... Everyone tends to just hang out in Sapphire Tundra for the festivities, since there's always plenty of snow there regardless."

Sonic smirked at her. "And how do you feel about snow personally?"

"It can be a bit inconvenient at times, but it's pleasant to look at." She brushed a gloved hand through her silky smooth ponytail, which was interrupted by a light cough. "Makes the asthma a right pain, though."

"Aww, if I had known about that, we could have stayed in your castle."

"It's fine," Lutrudis smiled as she continued looking up at the starry clouds. "You guys wanted to see this, so that's the top priority. Just hope it actually happens at some point..."

"Heh."

They both took in the environment for a moment. The swift breeze was the only prominent sound throughout the meadow, outside of their friends' light snoring. Amazingly, Cheese the Chao snored the heaviest. Eventually, Lutrudis broke the silence.

"Sonic?"

"Yeah?"

"Talking of Christmas... you used to live on Christmas Island, right?"

"Yeah."

"If it's not too nosy of me to ask... what was it like there?"

Sonic blinked. It had been so long since the last time the memory of Christmas Island had even occurred to him. He honestly couldn't recall the last time he had discussed the subject. But he saw no reason to be secretive. Tails knew about his past history, as did Amy. What harm would revealing it to Lutrudis do?

"Well, it was pretty boring to be honest," he laughed. "I mean, it was nice and all, and the coconuts there were delicious. But I was thirsty for journey even when I was a little guy, and it was never going to appease me. You can only run around the same place so many times before you lose interest, know what I mean?"

"I suppose..." In reality, Lutrudis didn't necessarily agree, since she had always loved her frequent walks through the same forest surrounding her castle. But she understood her friend's needs and desires, and she wasn't going to shoot them down.

"I remember my mom and dad were always lecturing me," Sonic reminisced wistfully. "Always telling me to stay nearby, look both ways, do this, don't do that, be home at six, don't break the sound barrier again..." He chuckled once more. "They were good parents though. I respected them. Just kinda overprotective of me, that's all."

Lutrudis fiddled with her ponytail again. "I guess they got an awful fright when you started risking your life on a routine basis, huh?"

"Heh, you could say that," Sonic grinned sheepishly. "Especially with how young I was."

"You were fighting nasty fiends that early on?"

"Sure was! It wasn't just my need for adventure that kicked in early." He broke out a confident smile. "So did my need to stick it to 'em. Ain't letting jerks messing with my friends, or my planet."

Lutrudis' own smile grew more intimate, as she glanced to her side at the heroic hedgehog, with one hand on her chest, and the other resting her head. His altruistic heart was one of his greatest qualities in her eyes, and it contributed heavily to her admiration for him, even before she had met him in person.

"So then, what manner of dastardly rapscallions did you kick up the rear back in the day?" she asked in a playful tone.

"Oh, nothing extraordinary for the most part, just a bunch of petty crooks. They never prepared themselves for the good ol' Sonic Spin." He mimiced his signature attack by spinning his index finger. "Although there was one exception... There was this one time where I was menaced by a goblin."

A brief silence ensued before Lutrudis fully realised what Sonic had just said. She looked at him in mild bafflement.

"A goblin?"

"Yep. A goblin." Even years later, Sonic himself couldn't quite believe it either. "He was a big lug too, about the size of a building. Clawed hands, bald head, fangs, pointy nose..." He shivered for a bit. "He was kinda freaky. His name was Baron Giga."

"Baron Giga..." The lady horse had to stifle her laughter upon hearing such a ridiculous name. "Talk about naming yourself after your most obvious attribute."

The hero laughed nervously, clearly aware about the irony of her joking with a quick-footed hedgehog named Sonic. He quickly changed course.

"Well anyway, this guy was all big and mighty, and he was all..." He puffed his chest in preparation for his subsequent impression. "Foolish mortals! I'm the great goblin king! And your precious island is now mine! Muhahahahaha!"

He turned his head in Lutrudis' direction. "He had a really stupid voice by the way. Like it wasn't actually his voice, if you know what I mean."

"I see," Lutrudis commented, still lightly amused by his impression. Her hand was brushing gently against the petals of a daisy. "Did he have any ghastly minions?"

"You bet he did! He had walking cannons, and walking hands!"

"Ooooooh...!"

"And there were freakish hands with wings, and big googly eyes!"

"Spooky..."

"And there was this one that looked..." Sonic paused, as he attempted to find a suitable comparison for a creature with a long blunt object on its head. He was visibly embarrassed by what came to mind. "...Well, I don't know how to describe it. It was a weird looking one."

"So what happened?"

"Hm?"

"How did you stop him? Did you do it on your own?"

Sonic was ready to answer, but as a certain realisation kicked in, a gradual look of reluctance began to shape itself onto the hedgehog's face. Whatever the next part of the tale was, he clearly did not want to remember it. He hesitated briefly, before finally continuing.

"Well, not exactly..."

------

"Are you the local hero, Sonic the Hedgehog?"

"Yeah! That's me!"

"Thank goodness! Pleased to meet you. I'm afraid I'm in need of a bit of help..."

"Where are we going?"

"Oh, you'll see in just a second."

The young Sonic was taken aside by an older man. He couldn't guess how old the man was, but he appeared to be somewhere in his later years at the very least. The man did not seem at all bothered by the heat the scorching sun was passing down onto his hairless cranium. Not that Sonic focused too hard on that part, for he was more hypnotised by the man's extremely bushy moustache, as well as his deep pink nose. What on earth could cause a nose to turn so pink...?

"So like, are you a scientist or somethin'?" The little hog took notice of the humble little laboratory he was escorted into. Machine parts were scattered all across a bunch of tables and desks, some of them vaguely resembling insect appendages for some strange reason. There was also the occasional beaker on the desks, each of them filled with brightly colored liquids. Who knows what they could be for...?

"That's right, kid," the man stroked his brown 'stache as he examined his own private domain. "They don't call me Doctor Ivo Robotnik for nothing. I earned my PhDs, I'll have you know!"

"P h what...?"

"Well, anyway," Robotnik started, seemingly trying not to notice his acquaintance's lack of awareness regarding his profession. "I don't come from here, but I'm aware of this island's plight with Baron Giga, and I wanted to do what I could to help. Just as well then that I've been researching entities like the baron for the last few years now, as I find them deeply fascinating... Which means I know how to confront this menace efficiently."

The scientist went up to a suspicious curtain in the corner of his lab, and removed it as dramatically as he could. To the kid's amazement, behind the curtain was a huge machine of some sort. It looked very much incomplete, and it didn't even boast a single coat of paint, but the basic foundation was very much present. Its appearance was highly reminiscent of a humanoid, and upon squinting, Sonic could make out a similar moustached shape near the head.

"That looks cool!" Sonic exclaimed in literal childlike ecstasy. His spines had spiked out as an impulsive extension of his excitement. "You gonna use this junk to beat up the goblin guy?"

"That is the purpose of this machine, yes," Robotnik confirmed matter of factly. He followed it up with a depressed sigh. "Or at least, if I had more rings..."

"Rings...?"

Robotnik promptly took out a map of blueprints and shared it with Sonic. The hedgehog could make out from the highly detailed schematics that the machine was making use of the rings he had seen throughout the island, or to be more specific, the mysterious energy that they often came with.

"My mech requires a particularly powerful source of fuel in order to function to its best ability," Robotnik explained, all the while trying to make sure the little hedgehog's focus actually remained on the blueprints and not elsewhere. "Therefore, I've been collecting rings for that purpose. But the amount I have as of now is hardly enough..."

He sprinted to the giant computer in his lab, surprisingly so for someone his age, and using his impressively fast typing prowess, he got the computer to confirm exactly how charged up his mech was. As of current, it reached up to a pitiable 20%. The doctor's moustache drooped as he sighed once again, as if on purpose.

"That baron has been stealing all the rings for himself," he muttered while gesticulating with one hand. "Probably for some silly witchcraft nonsense, you know these types." He chuckled sadly, like a warm-hearted grandfather. "But that's why I need your help."

"Me?" Sonic didn't even know this person. How was this scientist so sure about him?

"Only you can collect enough rings before it's too late." Robotnik then proceeded to cough and splutter as though he were ill, though if it hadn't been for Sonic's idealistic youthfulness, he may have sensed it wasn't a genuine cough. "I'm just an old man, after all. My best days are long behind me, and I only want to help make the world a better place while I still can..."

"Well, don't worry!" the kid grinned and waved a finger out of cockiness. "I'll help you get those rings, Eggman!"

"...Eggman...?"

"Yeah, that's my name for ya." Sonic gave the doctor a wink. "Cause you're kinda shaped like an egg and all... so I'm gonna call you Eggman!"

"...I see." Robotnik didn't show much reaction to the new nickname he was suddenly given, though his body language subtly emphasized that he wasn't too keen on it. "Right, well then, I guess you better get started on your little adventure."

"Alright! But uh, where should I go?"

"Anywhere, really. No doubt the baron's demons will be scattered all around the island. If you find THEM, you'll find their rings." The doctor walked back to his mech, having brought out a wrench and several additional tools to continue working on his homemade creation. "You collect the rings, I complete the mech. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. A team effort, if you will!"

Sonic began revving up already. "No worries, I'll have them all in a flash!" He flashed another grin to Robotnik, along with a good-natured thumbs up. "Catch ya later, Eggman!"

And with that, he was gone in an flash. Unfortunately, the scale of his speed had caused all sorts of blueprints to be knocked over all around the lab, much to the doctor's grumbling exasperation.

------

"So you were working with Eggman?" Lutrudis asked, with a hint of surprise.

"Essentially, yeah." Sonic scratched his ear before continuing. "We teamed up to beat Giga and his... 'demons'. He seemed pretty cool at the time. A bit eccentric, cause it was still Eggman, but y'know."

"Well, that's certainly fascinating," the horse noted, as she gently stroked one of her legs with her other. "To think he was a decent man at first, that he once had noble intentions, and wasn't always so selfish and cruel... Goodness, I can't even imagine living in a reality where he wasn't a ripe stinker. Must have been something alright."

As soon as she said that however, she was quick to notice the growing look of hurt on Sonic's face. As she examined his uncharacteristically quiet discomfort, she gradually figured out that she had spoke too soon. Her own ears mildly drooped in disappontment at what her friend's body language spelled out to her.

"Oh... he was... he was a stinker the whole time, wasn't he..."

Sonic simply looked aside dejectedly, as he recalled that one moment...

------

"I got the last rings, Eggman! The hand monster gave me a hard time, but I snatched them off from hi-"

Sonic cut himself off in shock at what he witnessed upon arriving back at the lab. Robotnik was there as expected, as was his big mech... but so were rows upon rows of smaller droids, each of them based on a variety of members of the animal kingdom. He had also just interrupted the process of Robotnik working on something... something that looked an awful lot like Baron Giga. The doctor was visibly flushed upon Sonic's arrival.

"Ah... Sonic... you finished up earlier than expected..."

"What's... what's all this, doc?"

Robotnik stumbled for a little bit. "I was just, uh... just finishing a side project of mine! Wanted to do even more to fight the good fight, you know?"

"Doc... what is this?" Sonic asked again, this time more firmly. "Why is Giga here? Why are you doing stuff on him? And is this... an army...? You never mentioned anything about making an army..."

Robotnik stroked his moustache to bide some brief time as he thought out his response. "It's all to fight Baron Giga with, see? There's a strength in numbers, you understand. As for this... erm..." He motioned towards what appeared to be the very Giga himself. "...A lifelike replication. For locating weaknesses and whatnot. Yes, that's right..."

He quickly rubbed his hands. "Now then, the final rings, please..."

He extended a hand, but was instead greeted with Sonic hesitating, even hiding them away from the doctor's view. The young hedgehog looked troubled, and alert. He didn't like the feel of any of this.

"What's going on, Eggman...?" He looked up at the other, desperately wanting an answer.

Robotnik looked down at Sonic for a few seconds, unable to say anything at first. But then, he slowly kneeled down to match Sonic's point of view, and just as methodically, he took off his glasses for the hedgehog's sake. Sonic was greeted with a pair of regular blue eyes, as the scientist pleaded for forgiveness.

"Sonic... I'm sorry," he started, as he put a hand on the other's shoulder. "Baron Giga doesn't exist. I created him. I should have been more honest with you, but I didn't want you to have even more on your plate than what was necessary."

"But... I don't understand..."

"It was a test, you see. A test to show that you truly were the hero people said you were, and to make us more prepared for when something like Giga happens for real. The world is a dangerous place, and there's a lot of threats out there. We have to do what we can to protect our world from them."

Sonic remained silent. It didn't make sense to him, and he still felt hurt about being lied to.

"I understand why you may not trust me," Robotnik muttered quietly. He briefly looked aside at the floor, as if to accentuate his apparent remorse. "But do you not recognise our potential? This situation may have been staged, but our efforts were not. We can do great things together, Sonic... extraordinary things. We can be heroes together... But I need those rings if that is ever to happen."

Sonic hesitated still. He kept glancing slowly between the old man's face, and the rings he currently held in his own hand. Robotnik ushered him once.

"Do the right thing, Sonic... I know you can..."

Unable to dither for any longer, Sonic closed his eyes tightly as he gave Robotnik his last bundle of rings. Robotnik gently patted him on the head for his assistance.

"Thank you," Robotnik whispered. He quickly put his glasses back on, obscuring his eyes once more. "You've helped me change the world for the better."

After taking some time to accept his decision, Sonic slowly started to relax as the doctor applied the energy of the rings to his towering mech, before climbing inside it himself.

After a few seconds of inactivity, Robotnik's masterpiece slowly came to life, like a robotic Frankenstein's monster. By the doctor's piloted command, it broke free from the tubes that had formerly kept it wired up, and a small number of lumbering steps each caused a slight tremor throughout the lab. Sonic looked up at the doctor's cockpit, gradually regaining his previous excitement and enthusiasm about the project. As the mech walked all the way across the room, just outside the laboratory's exit, it turned towards Sonic's direction, and its mechanical hand gave a proud thumbs up to the kid. Sonic grinned, and gave a thumbs up himself.

"So doc, what's the first threat that needs taken care of?" he asked jovially.

He could only barely see the doctor's face in the cockpit, but he could hear a bit of laughter from him... It didn't sound at all like an ordinary laugh... And the thumb of the mech was rotating slowly, yet surely, until it was upside down, pointed firmly at the floor...

"Ho ho ho... you."

"What...?"

As if by instinct, every last one of the smaller robots had immediately come to life. Some of them revved up their wheels, while others flapped their wings, but all of them focused solely on the blue hedgehog, and before he could realise what was happening, before he could respond with anything other than confusion, before he could seek for an explanation...

"Thanks for everything, kid."

And right on cue, the robots began to attack and overwhelm the poor boy, while Robotnik - Eggman, as christened by the one he was now leaving for dead - left the scene in his mech.

------

"That fiend..." Lutrudis muttered in disbelief with clenched fists. "That dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking fiend... And while you were a child, no less... I'm so sorry..."

"Don't sweat it," Sonic shrugged casually. "It worked out in the end. I wrecked up those robots, and I caught up to him and beat him. It wasn't easy though..."

"If Eggman wanted the rings," Lutrudis mused as she scratched the back of her ear. "Why did he even bother with the whole Giga smoke and mirrors? He was going to get the rings with or without your help, surely?"

"It wasn't about the rings," Sonic explained stoically. His arms were now crossed. "It was about keeping me distracted. He knew I could have been a threat to his operations, so he did all that to get me out of the way without me even suspecting he was up to something. By painting another target."

"Well... you got him in the end," Lutrudis put her hand on Sonic's shoulder, and rubbed it tenderly. "You set things right. Like every time after."

As Sonic recalled his first proper fight with the mad scientist, he was bothered not so much by the fight itself - though being forced to fight who he thought was a friend was certainly hard to swallow - but rather, all the things the doctor called out to him as they traded blows:

"Is it Eggman that you want? Then it's Eggman that you'll get!"

"Who am I to dismiss a name for your king?"

"You could have avoided all this if you were more like me, and just thought!"

"They only care about the hero! The legend! They don't care about YOU!"

"They'll turn against you one day! They always do! Take it from me, kid! No one likes what isn't normal! I was shunned for my genius, and so will you for your speed!"

"Where are your friends now, Sonic? Oh, that's right, they don't exist!"

Sonic looked up at the night sky as he remembered those biting words... before glancing at Tails, Amy and Cream, who still remained asleep even now. He then glanced at Lutrudis, who in turn caught his vision. His smile slowly began to return.

"So.. what did you do after that?" the horse queried.

"Well, I cleaned the place up, made sure everyone was okay, got yelled at by my parents for trusting a stranger... then I left."

"You just... left?"

"Yep. The ol' adventure thirst was calling, and after what happened with Eggman... I felt uncomfortable there. Couldn't shake it off me."

"How did you leave?"

"I..." Sonic hesitated, knowing what he was about to say was going to sound rather inexcusable no matter how he put it. "I erm... I stole my dad's plane."

Lutrudis blinked. She took a few seconds to contemplate, then blinked again.

"Right."

"Yeah, I know..." Sonic scratched his left quill, ashamed at what he just admitted to.

Another brief period of quietness followed. The night remained as beautiful as when they had arrived, and the stars continued to glow radiantly. Upon breaking the silence this time around however, Lutrudis' tone grew more lighthearted.

"You ever gonna give it back to him then?" She let out a joking smirk.

"Ah, heh heh, I think too much time has passed for that..." Sonic's face grew even redder as they continued discussing his rather delinquent theft. "Tails has modified it to infinity by this point anyway... I really should talk to them again though."

Lutrudis looked once more in the direction of the sleeping Tails. Though you couldn't tell at first glance due to the sheet, the bumps in the sheet made it obvious that his titular twin tails were keeping the similarly dozing Amy and Cream warm. Lutrudis' heart couldn't help but melt ever so slightly.

"You've got good friends," she commented, as she looked in Sonic's direction. "Who cares about Eggman, when you have them."

"Sounds about right," Sonic agreed with a satisfied nod. He wagged his finger with a wink and a smirk. "But don't leave yourself out, Trudy. You're pretty cool as well."

Lutrudis tried to fight back the bashfulness she felt in response, to blatantly little success. She rubbed her arm and glanced down at the flowers around them, before looking back up at Sonic's famous emerald eyes.

"You too, Sonic," she assured him quietly. She didn't seem to be aware that her tail was swishing to and fro, just a little bit.

"Oh, wait...! Is that... ... ...yeah, it is! The snow's came!"

"It has?"

Sonic and Lutrudis both stood up, and sure enough, the first few drops of snow were gently falling. Sonic quickly, yet carefully, attempted to wake his other friends. Controlling his own glee, he waited for them to reach a reasonable level of semi-consciousness before continuing.

"Guys, wake up! The snow came!"

"Whuzzat...?"

"Oh, yes! At last!"

"Snow? Yay!!!"

"Chao!!!"

Wasting no time, Cream and Cheese used their ears and wings respectively to fly closer to the new snowfall, followed shortly by Tails. The snowflakes glistened marvellously, and the celestial skies complimented their pristine elegance. Amy looked at her flying comrades with a hearty laugh, as she waited for Tails to hover down and pick her up so that she could get a closer look as well.

Sonic simply stood there, with his hands firmly on his hips. He smiled at the sight of his friends enjoying themselves. He turned to Lutrudis, who stood beside him.

"Well, I guess we could be in for a ~White Christmas~ after all."

"Quite so... Wait a minute, don't tell me you're about to-"

"~Iiiii'm... dreeeeamiiiing~" Sonic started, as he shamelessly showed off his impressive vocals. He followed this up with a slow, yet goofy dance. His grin was wide, knowing full well that he was indulging in silliness. "~Of a Whiiiite... Christmaaasss~"

"Oh, jeez," Lutrudis laughed out loud, as she shyly covered her face with one hand. One thing would always remain certain: this was Sonic the Hedgehog alright.

#Crusher's Fanfiction #Sonic the Hedgehog #Fanfiction

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florrickandassociates · 5 years

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TGF Thoughts: 3x01-- The One About The Recent Troubles

HI GUYS I WROTE A LOT

New season, new naming convention. Well, it’s either that or Diane Lockhart’s joined a reboot of Friends. Jokes aside, I don’t love the new naming convention (I never watched Friends) but I don’t dislike it either. It’s fine. What I do like is that we’ve dropped any sort of counting (unless you consider “the one” counting). (I am just now realizing that last season’s episode titles were more in the TGW tradition than I thought-- they were just another form of counting). Three seasons in, TGF is its own show (with its own titles!), and that makes me very happy.

I’m about to hit play on my third viewing of this episode. I watched at 5 am on the day it was released (worth it, tbh), then again with my roommate after work that same day.

This year’s previously montage works better than last year’s, but I still don’t love it. The selection of clips seems a little random at first: Liz talking about her father? The Assholes to Avoid case that I was hoping to avoid thinking about ever again? Okay…?

It’s time for some tone-setting! “I’m happy,” Diane states as the season opens. She’s in bed with Kurt, waking up in the morning. This is one of those statements that becomes important mostly because it’s so prominent. I believe that Diane’s happy with her life and happy waking up next to her husband, but I don’t think Diane is trying to make a Thesis Statement. I think she’s just expressing that she feels good. The writers, however, definitely want us to note that Diane starts out the season in a good, happy place. This is because they are going to slowly complicate and destroy Diane’s happiness. That’s not a spoiler-- it’s a prediction.

Kurt laughs. “You like narrating your life,” he comments. Interesting.

“You know, there are psychological studies that say, when people are happy, they look desperately for things to make them unhappy. But that won’t happen to us, will it?” Diane wonders. Of course it will. I know these writers. If there’s one thing they hate it’s writing more than a few scenes of a healthy marriage.

Diane and Kurt’s new bedroom confuses me. It has an arch that seems very low and I can’t tell if that’s the angle or not. Also, we only see the area with the bed, the bathroom, and a large sitting room in this episode. It would make sense for Diane to have a bedroom suite and a separate living room/dining room/kitchen, but the way this episode is shot makes it feel like Diane and Kurt only have that one space.

Now Diane’s asking Kurt for reassurance that everything’s going to be alright, and she seems moderately worried that he doesn’t sound certain when he responds. Maybe there are still some issues there…?

“What could go wrong?” Kurt asks, and right on cue, shit starts to blow up. (By which I mean the title sequence rolls.)

New objects/shots this year include: A tea set, aerial shots of a wine bottle, coffee cups (they discovered aerial shots this year and clearly liked them a lot), the same four purses from last year but arranged differently (looks cooler now), new images on the TV (bye, tiki torch nazis), and the entire set where they staged the explosions.

The third co-creator is still listed, because his name will be attached to this show for as long as it runs, but I really want to know: what did Phil Alden Robinson even do to create the show? Invent the basic sketch of the premise and the new characters? Just today I saw him credited in an article praising season 3, and it’s my understanding that he hasn’t even touched TGF since the pilot, back before the Kings signed on.

The Kings wrote this episode, but I didn’t need the credits to tell me that. Robert directed, too, which is only surprising because I wasn’t sure if it would be him or if it would be Brooke Kennedy.

Complaining about this now before I get any farther into the episode: CBS, FIX YOUR CLOSED CAPTIONING. Someone over at All Access doesn’t believe in apostrophes and it’s driving me up a wall.

After the credits, we resume with Julius talking about Carl Reddick, founding partner of RBL and civil rights icon. Julius has to be prompted to add on that last part, but Lucca doesn’t: she read about Reddick in history books.

Lucca’s dress for the interview shouldn’t work, but she pulls it off. It has several different colors and patterns, big gold buttons, and a ruffle down one side.

Here’s Liz’s comment on her father: “When my father died, I could think of no better way to honor his life than by taking over his partnership here.” We know that’s only partially true.

Next up is Reddick’s secretary of 15 years. She refers to him as “Mr. Reddick” instead of “Carl” and seems uncomfortable talking about her experience. Jay and Marissa, who have for some reason been tasked with creating promotional materials for the firm, notice her hesitance. Marissa asks what a typical day was like, and the secretary-- Cynthia-- starts to cry.

Cut to the RBL website, which is very boring and generic. “Who are you?” a publicity consultant asks Adrian and Liz. This reminds me of two things: one, Diane and Will’s conversation in season 4 about firm identity, and two, the fact that Hitting the Fan started off with the line “You’re stable.” Isn’t that very reminiscent of this episode starting off with, “I’m happy.”?! Yikes, we must be in for a ride…

Adrian’s answer is that they are a “mid-size Chicago law firm.” Really? That’s all you’ve got? The consultant pushes further-- he wants their story. Liz says their story is that they’re growing with new hires and a new floor. The consultant isn’t happy with that, either, because he seems to believe there’s only one right answer: they’re an African American firm, and that is their entire identity. Ugh.

When TGF first started, RBK felt like a firm that had an identity and a mission-- a commitment to giving black lawyers opportunities for success in an environment where no one would be a token, coupled with a strong focus on civil rights cases (particularly police brutality cases). I assumed that was the shared goal of Carl, Adrian, and Barbara, but the firm’s gone through enough changes that I’m willing to accept that RBL might now be struggling for an identity. Carl’s dead, Barbara was always the one who would actually put her money where her mouth is (sorry, Adrian), Diane is (as always) interested in being profitable while looking like a liberal legend, and Liz accepted partnership because it was a lucrative offer that fell into her lap right when she lost her job at the DOJ.

Adrian says he doesn’t want RBL to be sold as an African American law firm. Hasn’t he pitched it as such in the past?

“Diversity is in right now. Black Panther. Black-ish. And diversity is something you have in sp-- in abundance,” the consultant says. My God, he’s terrible. He’s also using “diverse” and “black” as interchangeable words.

Adrian gets a reprieve when Jay and Marissa call him out of his meeting, but it doesn’t last long. Cynthia, Carl’s secretary, told Jay and Marissa that Carl repeatedly sexually assaulted her.

“He forced her for 15 years? Why would Cynthia stay for 15 years?” Adrian asks incredulously. “Seriously?” Marissa replies. Woah there. I agree wholeheartedly with Marissa but just because I’d write “SERIOUSLY?” in a recap doesn’t mean I’d ever say it to a name partner with that tone! (But really: Marissa’s very right. “Why would she stay?” is a terrible argument. Cynthia had bills to pay and a family (or at least a daughter) to care for. She likely didn’t have the luxury of looking for a new job. And that’s setting aside the fact that for decades, language around sexual assault wasn’t widely known!)

Adrian asks Marissa and Jay to keep quiet, and Marissa pushes back, asking if it’s so they can cover it up. Marissa! You’re not helping your cause here!

“Marissa, I don’t have the luxury right now of being outraged. That doesn’t mean I’m not outraged,” Adrian explains.

In the hallway, Jay suggests that Marissa give Adrian (and Carl) a break, since the Reddick name brings in half of their business, and if Reddick’s name becomes toxic, the firm could be in trouble. “Well, then, maybe it should be,” Marissa responds.

I loooooooove Diane’s new hairstyle! It’s been ten years; it’s time for a change.

Diane is about to head into the office when she notices Kurt went hunting the previous night with a gun he hates. And to make matters worse, there are blonde hairs on his jacket and Kurt won’t admit he went shooting with anyone. Well, I guess Diane’s happiness didn’t last very long at all.

Maia has a scratched cornea, so she’s wearing big sunglasses. “I wouldn’t wear those when you meet with the partners,” Marissa says, planting a bad idea in Maia’s mind. The sunglasses take two seconds to explain, and no one is going to fault her for this. If Maia didn’t get fired for not doing any work over a two year period, she’s going to be just fine wearing medically-required sunglasses to an internal meeting.

Julius wants to talk to Maia and explains that on the new website, they’re adding associate and partner bios. They just might not be adding Maia’s. “Don’t take it as a criticism. You’re doing a great job,” Julius says. This is basically the only circumstance in which I understand giving Maia praise: trying to keep her from causing a scene by stroking her ego.

Since Maia took off her sunglasses, she now appears to be crying. Since Maia lacks common sense, she does not explain why she is crying, leading Julius to keep heaping on the praise and explain the obvious (it’s about her parents’ scandal). Maia says she understands and that “this is all medical.” THAT’S SO VAGUE, MAIA. You’re looking for the sentence you just said to Marissa: “I have a scratched cornea.” I know this moment is supposed to be funny. It just makes Maia look impressionable (she took off the glasses) and slow (she can’t easily navigate out of this situation when the exit route is obvious). I already think Maia is both of those things, so I’m not complaining about this scene (I did laugh!), it’s just… Maia, why???

Julius is so confused by Maia’s odd reaction that he goes straight to Lucca’s office. Lucca is pumping and doesn’t care who sees, because she’s the fucking best. Julius asks Lucca to talk to Maia about the website.

Diane’s still thinking about the hair when she arrives at RBL. Marissa greets her with an empty mug, I mean, with coffee. Diane asks what Adrian wants to talk to her about, and Marissa says, “I’ve been told I speak too much, so I won’t handle that.” If Marissa weren’t so good at her job she’d need to watch out.

Marissa tries to join Adrian and Diane’s meeting, and Adrian slowly closes the door in her face. Marissa walks away. I love it when this show emphasizes that their main players aren’t all of equal status at the firm, and this episode does a fantastic job of showing it.

Adrian explains the Reddick issue to Diane. He’s (wisely) chosen to go to Diane before Liz about this.

Adrian’s plan is to have Cynthia sign an NDA, and now there’s a “Good Fight Short” to educate us about NDAs. God, this show is weird and I love it.

“Think they’re maybe always in a red folder but I didn’t do my research that well” cracks me up.

“Let’s try to count all the red folders in the show today. You know what who cares just pay attention, put your phone away,” the song continues. Okay, show, I’ll listen to you and put my phone (on which I’m watching this show) away and go run my errands. That’s what you wanted, right?

A storm rolls in as Adrian and Diane pay Cynthia a visit. Thunder is dramatic, in case you were unaware.

Adrian tells Cynthia he knew nothing about Reddick’s behavior. He reaches for the NDA a little too quickly and Diane slows things down.

Adrian promises they’ll have sexual harassment training moving forward. Cynthia reminds him that they’ve always had that-- but partners never attended. Or, apparently, remembered that it existed.

Diane and Adrian hear pots and pans banging in the kitchen and realize that Cynthia’s daughter is home. That complicates things because the daughter anticipates the NDA and doesn’t want her mom to sign.

When Cynthia leaves the room, Adrian comments to Diane that “this house, it reminds me of my aunty’s house.” Diane just smiles, probably because that’s a reference she can’t understand.

The partners hold a secret meeting without Liz, which is certainly a way to handle this but probably not the optimal way. Liz should know what’s going on before any NDAs concerning her firm are created.

Liz notices that the offices are empty, and asks Marissa (who’s walking past) where everyone is. “I have no idea. I’m just staying on the sidelines today,” Marissa says unhelpfully. Great attitude. Very professional. As you’d expect, Liz is not satisfied with that answer.

Downstairs, the MANY partners of RBL are debating next steps. Why do they always pack these partner meeting scenes with so damn many extras? How many partners am I meant to believe they have?!

As we learned in the Assholes to Avoid episode, the most interesting thing about #MeToo is that it’s controversial and leads people to talk over each other. That’s what’s happening in this scene, but it works far better than the show’s last attempt at showing this idea. Unsurprisingly, when they have more to say than just “controversial topic is controversial” they do better.

And, I’m not sure where to put it so I’ll just say it here, I think the Kings have more to say about #MeToo, and a new (and better) angle on it because it hit closer to home. This plot isn’t a reenactment of what happened with Moonves, but the ideas it explores? Once you think about Moonves and the role he had in bringing TGW to life (and keeping it on the air), it’s all you’ll see. This plot is the Kings reckoning with how to move forward and create distance after a powerful man in no small part responsible for their own success turns out to be a serial harasser.

And that’s so much more interesting than “what if we took the Aziz Ansari thing but removed all nuance?” TGW, and TGF, wouldn’t have existed without Les Moonves. I’m pretty certain I’ve heard the Kings and Julianna-- and probably other cast members-- speak glowingly about him (before the allegations, obvs). He allowed TGW to flourish (and TGF to exist, which is kind of amazing when you think about it) while also enabling sexual assault all throughout CBS.

The reason for this meeting? Now they want to pay Cynthia off. Diane suggests letting the story surface, emphasizing that Carl did good things and bad things. Diane also, wisely, notes that if they pay someone off, then it becomes the whole firm’s problem. But it seems they might have already paid someone off, so it’s too little, too late. RBK had, in 2012, agreed to cover all of Reddick’s sexual harassment suits. (This is, apparently, “standard” for CEOs, barf.)

I’d still like to dig into Diane’s “just own it” idea a little more, but I do see why the other partners (the ones who were actually there for the bulk of the time Reddick was) shut it down.

Then Wendy, the stenographer, speaks up: Carl Reddick assaulted her, too. If there are two, there are more than two, and I’m surprised that Liz is the first person to suggest this.

At home, later, Diane scrolls through Netflix (not a streaming site, this is Netflix’s layout with different shows), unable to decide what to watch. I’m sad to report none of the fake shows are any fun, and none of them are Darkness at Noon. I guess Darkness at Noon is probably on AMC All Access, behind a paywall…

Kurt arrives home and asks what Diane’s doing. “Figuring out whether to watch a German series about serial killers or a Scandinavian series about serial killers,” Diane replies. Haven’t we all been there? That’s scrolling through Netflix in one sentence.

Diane has “helped” Kurt pack for a trip, and THANK GOD, she’s not kicking him out (that’s how scenes where the husband arrives home to find his bags packed always go). She’s passive-aggressively packing for his upcoming trip she discovered on their credit card account.

Kurt’s going on a safari. Diane says she doesn’t shoot anymore (I guess since 2x10?) and wants to know who Kurt’s going with. Shouldn’t Kurt be telling Diane if he’s going to go on a safari?

Kurt senses something’s up and asks what’s wrong. Diane says work has her thinking about “men.” Then she tells Kurt she doesn’t think he’s being honest and says she doesn’t like pretending to be the “cool wife who overlooks lies.” Is “Cool Wife” a variation of “Cool Girl” and if so, can we get a Gillian Flynn novel about it, please?

Finally, the truth emerges: Kurt isn’t hiding an affair (though Diane briefly suspects he’s seeing someone named “Holly Westfall” again… idk, have we ever heard that name? Nothing’s coming to mind, because Kurt never cheated on Diane and Peter’s trial never happened.). He’s giving private shooting lessons to 45’s sons.

My GOD, Diane’s reaction.

I love how every time Diane says “safari” she says it with a little more disbelief in her voice.

Kurt says this is just a job; he’s being paid. Can he take someone else’s money then? How strapped for cash is he? This is like the “we’re defense attorneys!” line Diane always goes back to. SURE, but you don’t have to take EVERY case to be profitable.

Diane proceeds to start BANGING HER HEAD AGAINST THE WALL, REPEATEDLY. This scene is simultaneously comedic, dramatic, and ridiculous and I love it. I’m not sure how it manages to feel far-fetched and also character-driven at the same time, but hey, it works.

Diane storms out, saying she’s going to do something she should’ve done nine months ago: conjure up space bugs. Okay, no, she’s making contact with her FuzzyFuzzyCuteCute friend, but she’s doing so in a way that involves moving lots of flowers to her windowsill, and THAT’S HOW YOU DRAW IN THE SPACE BUGS.

In case I haven’t said it enough times, TGF in some ways seems more like it’s a continuation of BrainDead than TGW.

Diane talks to Tara and asks her to break her NDA (some legal nonsense) and come forward with allegations that 45 paid for her abortion. Tara asks Diane why now, and Diane’s answer is kind of bullshit: “because now it’s personal.” And it wasn’t before?! And that matters?! (I believe it from Diane, but come on. You need it to be personal to fight this as hard as you can? The fact that this administration’s policies are having catastrophic effects on families isn’t enough?)

Adrian finally shows Liz the interview with Cynthia, and Audra McDonald could win an Emmy for her reaction shots alone (I can’t say enough times how pleased I am with the addition of Liz). Adrian draws the curtains of Will’s office, I mean Liz’s office, to give them some privacy. Good move.

Liz wants to know if Adrian knew, and she has good reasons to believe he might have. For one, when they were married, Adrian asked how her parents were doing-- suggesting they might have reason to not be doing so well.

Liz goes into her bathroom (first time we’ve seen this set, though we’ve obviously known it existed from ~Willicia sexytimes~) (Not to derail this recap entirely, but does anyone else ever wonder how Willicia would’ve played in this day and age? I wouldn’t consider it assault or harassment because it was obviously consensual, but I don’t know that you can do a boss/employee romance plot as easily today as you could in 2011.)

Liz, through tears, confesses that her father didn’t always treat her mom (or “us”-- I assume meaning Liz and any siblings she may have) well. She’d always rationalized it as the part of “sharing him with the world” while he was “fighting,” but “he was just here.” God, this is devastating, and this scene is spectacularly done.

Adrian tries to comfort Liz, but she realizes something: Adrian put in the glass walls. She wants to know why. Was he trying to force Carl to be more transparent about something? Liz remembers her dad complaining about the glass walls. Adrian says it was just a design choice. Liz doesn’t believe it, but she’s moved on to other things. She’s putting on her jacket and trying to decide her next move. She angrily opens up the curtains even though she’s about to leave her office (just to show that she values transparency) and marches down to the partner’s meeting.

Everyone quiets down when Liz walks in. She grabs a notepad and a chair and begins to take an active role in negotiating payouts. Julius mentions Wendy, and Liz didn’t know about Wendy yet. Her reaction? A long pause, and then: “My dad raped the stenographer?”

Have I mentioned yet that Audra’s great? She delivers the line with a fantastic blend of anger and resignation. And I love the line itself, particularly the use of the word “rape.” Aside from Cynthia’s daughter, Liz is the first person in the episode to call Carl’s actions what they are, and it’s meaningful to hear the word from her. Liz isn’t shying away from what her father did; she is trying to figure out how to name it and address it. Pretty remarkable.

Liz volunteers to make the deal with Cynthia. She immediately begins to ask Jay for help, but she thinks again and goes to Marissa instead (and says “rape” again) to find out if there are any others. Adrian and Diane should’ve had Marissa on this yesterday.

LUCCA!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I’m just happy to see Lucca Quinn, who is the best and does not get nearly enough screentime. Because Lucca is the best, she’s meeting with the partners. She thinks something must be wrong-- that she’s about to be fired (no!!! I don’t even like thinking about that!!). But nothing is wrong. “In fact, consider this a promotion,” Adrian says. He offers Lucca the position of head of divorce law. (What are the odds we get through this arc without a cameo from David Lee?)

People who know more about the law than I do, is this even remotely plausible? Shouldn’t this be Lucca’s specialty if we’re going to see her head it up? Have we ever seen her on a divorce case?

The guy they had hired to head up divorce law had “harassment issues at his last firm.” “And that’s a problem these days?” Lucca jokes, not knowing just how bad her timing is. No one else laughs. (I! Love! Scenes! That! Show! That! Some! Of! The! Characters! Are! Junior! Staff!)

Lucca does not seem to want this promotion, but she realizes she’s being told, not asked.

Meanwhile, Maia’s spending her work day staring at the company website. Adrian stops by to see her (guess Lucca didn’t talk to her) and console her about the website. Maia now chooses to explain her scratched cornea. She doesn’t explain it clearly, so Adrian continues with his speech. “This is not a reflection of how we feel about you. It’s a branding thing.”

I suppose the same could also be said of the fact that the main poster for this season of TGF features Diane, Adrian, and Lucca when the first two seasons had posters featuring Diane, Maia, and Lucca. Maia adds less value, to the show and to the firm!!!!!

(I don’t hate this Maia plot, I just think it’s silly and unnecessary, and Maia’s still done nothing to prove to me that she’s interested in her job and/or good at it.)

“You keep up the good work,” Adrian says. Forget good work. What WORK?

The partners fussing over the website has made it a Big Deal for Maia, and now she’s pissed! Luckily, Marissa’s there to teach her how to be a badass.

“I’m a third year associate, and they are treating me like I was hired yesterday,” Maia fumes. Well, are you doing the work of a third year associate, or are you doing the “work” of a new hire who hasn’t yet been staffed on projects and just stares at the company website all day? Hmmmmm?

Marissa blames this on “the curse of short people.” Is Maia short? She’s never seemed short. Rose Leslie is, according to Google, 5’6”, which is hardly short! Then Marissa starts rambling about “the volcano of Vulcan” and, whatever, Marissa, I think Maia’s problem is that she has scumbag parents, not that she’s short.

Marissa’s advice-- which is basically to be more confident-- isn’t bad advice. But that’s not why Maia’s not on the website. Maia could be Lucca levels of incredible and her name would still look toxic on the website.

Maia’s so awkward she makes me look confident.

Marissa commands a “tall lady” not to wash her hands after using the bathroom and what, that’s gross, why are you doing this Marissa?

Marissa has a gift for Maia: Sunglasses that are “cool.” Marissa then breaks the doctor-approved sunglasses. Seems… unwise.

New, cool Maia gets a theme song and a leather jacket. She makes quite an impression on the image consultant in the elevator, and he asks her out. She rejects him. Ha ha.

Liz and Jay head to Cynthia’s next. They remember meeting each other before. Liz mentions the NDA, and Cynthia responds, “Your father wasn’t a bad man.” “I don’t understand how you can feel that way after everything that he did,” Liz replies.

Liz seems like she’s close to getting a signature on the NDA when Naomi Nivola, the reporter from 2x05, appears at her door asking about sexual harassment. Cynthia’s daughter tipped her off. I’m very happy to see Naomi again, not because I think she’s a wonderful character but because I thought Adrian’s “starfucking” excuse was too weak of a conclusion to her plotline last season. I’m almost glad to know she still holds a grudge, because it doesn’t let Adrian off the hook for some shitty behavior. Adrian isn’t Carl Reddick levels of disgusting but he’s done some troublesome things (and the way he talks to the female characters is a little condescending, no??)

(I went to re-read my thoughts on 2x05 and Naomi as I was writing this, and apparently I said I thought an episode about NDAs as they relate to #MeToo would be interesting. Hah!)

It’s still raining.

“I’ll talk to Naomi, find out what she knows,” Adrian decides. “You?! No,” Liz replies. Adrian actually asks why not!!!

Liz goes to settle with the stenographer next, and, again, she insists on doing it herself.

Maia is holding an NDA and sitting out at one of the associate desks, surrounded by a bunch of black men (does the firm have female associates?). Maia’s holding a red folder, and while that should mean she’s working on a case, she probably just picked it up because it was BOLD LIKE HER. What are work files if not accessories to make you look badass?

Maia’s also got her feet up on the desk. YOU’RE AT WORK, GIRL.

Julius asks Maia to move her feet. “Yeah? What do you need?” she replies. Julius is too stunned to actually play rank. Maia takes this as a victory. She shouldn’t. She can do this once, maybe twice, before it stops being cute and confusing and starts looking like what it is: an entitled white girl acting out and being disrespectful. If she wants to create distance from her parents’ scandal-- the actual issue here-- then she needs to be mature and develop a plan to work around it. She could, for example, take on lots of charity work and write an op-ed about deciding to help turn her dad in, and what she’s learned about the world from having her world crash down. Acting out in designer boots, red lipstick, and sunglasses is going to make Maia look like the oblivious child of privilege she is.

Why does this show insist on saying that Maia’s biggest weakness is her lack of boldness? She’s just awkward. She’s plenty confident. She just expresses it poorly.

I know this is a comedic subplot but Maia does not really behave like a human being??? Who would have that interaction and then feel self-satisfied? This is her place of work!!! She looks ridiculous!! She just talked back to a partner!!

Wendy doesn’t want to sign the NDA, and she doesn’t want any money. She says she’ll never tell anyone, because “there are so many people who want to destroy men. Black men.” And she doesn’t want to be a part of it. Interesting perspective, not one I agree with but one I’m pleased the writers included because it adds some nuance to the episode’s exploration of #MeToo.

Naomi and Jay talk in a not-very-interesting scene that includes some weird and unnecessary close ups of Jay. Main takeaway: Naomi thinks it’s Adrian who assaulted Cynthia.

Don’t really get why it’s great that Naomi thinks it’s Adrian. I suppose she’s a good enough journalist she wouldn’t publish a story there was no evidence for, but Adrian being able to deny it without lying hardly seems like cause for celebration. And would Naomi really drop it if Adrian said he didn’t rape anyone?

Eric and Don bailed on the safari, so Kurt’s still around. He winces when Diane hugs him, and Diane doesn’t let it slip. Kurt, being Kurt, says nothing is wrong.

He goes to the bathroom, and Diane’s phone rings. It’s Tara saying she won’t come forward.

Diane joins Kurt in the bathroom (lots of scenes in bathrooms this ep) and notices he has a huge bruise on his shoulder because Eric or Don shot him. We don’t get to find out-- and neither does Diane-- because Kurt’s signed an NDA about the incident. HAHAHA!

Adrian has his interview with Naomi. He denies they’ve asked Cynthia to sign an NDA, and denies he harassed her. And that’s it, until Naomi reveals THE REAL STORY: Assholes to Avoid.

I wonder, IRL, how much this would hurt the firm. I also am still not sure why they took that damn case. 2x05 and whichever ep was Assholes (I mentioned I’m glad we’re not counting days anymore, right?) annoyed me more than basically any other s2 episode because they were tied up so neatly, so I’m happy to see both cases come back to complicate things.

Now shit gets weird. I assume this next scene is one of the “soliloquies” the Kings mentioned that the season would include, and I like the idea more than the execution. The characters taking turns verbalizing their inner thoughts in eloquent speeches to no one? Sure! I’m down! Diane suddenly beginning to talk to a Trump-shaped bruise THAT MOVES AND TALKS in the middle of an episode? I’ll just say I hope they’re not all like this.

“The footman to the king. I am married to the footman to the king,” Diane starts. Then TrumpBruise talks back (don’t love this impersonation). I think this would work just fine as a monologue, and I definitely don’t need the animation. I couldn’t see it the first time through and the episode was better for it.

Anyway, Diane’s upset that Kurt’s become a worthless servant to a family she loathes, and she connects this to her ongoing thoughts on the State of Masculinity.

“What has happened to men? Where did the real guys go? Why do we now have these snide little creatures with slicked-back hair and cologne? What happened to Paul Newman and Burt Lancaster? What happened to men who were slow to anger and responsible and who didn’t cry like whiny little bitches? When did Trump and Kavanaugh become our idea of an aggrieved man, quivering lips, blaming everyone but themselves? You’re not fit to kiss my husband’s feet. A truthful man, uncomplaining, never passing the buck, never punching unless he’s punched. When did he become the exception?” Okay. But toxic masculinity is not a new thing. This isn’t insightful enough for me to applaud it and it’s not offensive/wrong enough for me to actually want to dissect it. I like that the show’s taking risks and like the soliloquy idea but this is… meh.

Bruise starts talking about how happy he is. He’s taunting Diane (well, technically, Diane is criticizing herself) because she was happy earlier, and now she’s not and this asshole Bruise is sooooo happy.

So Diane’s solution is to leak Tara’s abortion. Interestingly, she imagines TrumpBruise calling her out on breaking Tara’s confidence. Implying that Bruise has a conscience (or enough savvy to push her buttons), even one fueled by Diane’s imagination, feels weird to me. Diane’s imagining Bruise has a conscience?!

FRANCESCA IS STILL AROUND!!! My wish to ditch Colin and keep his mom came true!

Francesa is singing “I Wanna Be Sedated” to her grandson. Of course she is.

I’m unclear on a few things with this scene: who is Francesca talking to? Does Francesca know them? This must be Lucca’s house (?) if Francesca is leaving and taking calls for Lucca, but why does Lucca have a land line, and why would a client be calling her on it?

Francesca has an Instagram. God, I would love it if that account existed.

Lucca’s baby is really cute. What’s the kid’s name? Is it Joseph?

Francesca tells Lucca she’s the perfect divorce lawyer. Anyone else feel like we missed a scene or three with this Lucca/divorce law plot? Why would Francesca say that? Does she know about the opportunity? Was Lucca working divorce cases and doing great? MORE LUCCA NOW.

Maia’s still wearing her sunglasses the next day (unclear if this is for medical reasons or because she doesn’t know when to just stop). She’s sitting in on a meeting of the partners about the new Assholes scandal.

Adrian says they need to get their story straight, that they didn’t know they were taking down the site. That’s blatantly false, and Maia speaks up to say so. Adrian says they didn’t. Um, they did. Julius asks Maia to step out, and Lucca, who has a seat at the table, defends Maia. Julius says “this should be a partner thing” and Maia gets up to leave. Lucca, who is also not a partner unless we did, indeed, miss multiple Lucca scenes, asks Maia for her opinion.

On her way out, Maia says RBL should “own it. Our client wanted us to take down a #MeToo site. We didn’t agree, but we took it down. Because we’re that good.” Meh. That’s really the only way out of this. But as a client, I would not be reassured by that, especially not if I had brought my business to a firm specifically because of its values.

Adrian takes Badass!Maia’s advice, word for word. And it works. This particular client also wants to know who Maia Rindell is. He typed in ReddickBoseman.net instead of .com (but WHY) and it landed on a “really really cool” page about Maia.

Liz and Adrian immediately go to find this cool site, and Adrian shows how hip he is by typing a url in the search bar. What pops up is a site with the RBL logo and several ~fashionable~ pictures of Maia and her Miraculous Sunglasses. It’s hilariously terrible. They’re not bad pictures, but it’s sooooooooooooooooo inappropriate and ridiculous. It’s also unnecessary, and I know I’m overthinking a sight gag (and it is an effective sight gag) but if Maia wanted to be on the website that badly, she could have, you know, SAID SO instead of making a fucking website.

Lol @ Maia staging a photoshoot at the office. Why wouldn’t she?

The website has the tagline “younger-tougher-smarter”. Well, one of those things is true, and you all know which one it is.

Cynthia’s back, in the office, to sign the NDA. She does.

Marissa’s prepared her research on Carl Reddick. She leaves it with Liz, in a green folder.

Diane goes to Naomi with Tara’s story. We don’t hear her tell it, so there’s a chance she thought better of it, but omg, how shitty, Diane!!!!!

Liz and Adrian share a drink. Adrian says he did suspect that Carl might have been having an affair, he just never thought it was assault.

“Your dad was really good to me, Liz. He’s the reason I have a career,” Adrian explains. “Me too,” Liz says, raising her glass. Damn. I don’t think those words were chosen unintentionally. Lots of layers to this scene.

Adrian decides to lighten the mood by mocking the image consultant. Liz, who’s wearing heels similar to the ones Maia was wearing earlier and has her feet up just like Maia did, comes up with an identity for the firm: “We’re a firm with no past. Not anymore. We’re starting over. That’s refreshing.”

Then they toast to Peter Florrick’s State’s Attorney campaign slogan/the writer’s perpetual favorite phrase: “New beginnings.” But it’s still storming, and the folder with all of Carl Reddick’s past misdeeds is sitting feet away. Dramatic!

As the credits roll, there’s an actual count of all the red folders in the episode. Heh.

I’m very on board with this season so far. Can’t wait to see what happens next!

Couldn’t all the episodes of this show (and TGW) be called The One About the Recent Troubles, though???

#the good fight #tgf thoughts #i feel so out of practice. what are words and how do i make them go together?!

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ettadunham · 5 years

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A Buffy rewatch 3x17 Enemies

aka bad break-ups

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And today’s episode finally brings Buffy and Faith’s relationship to a breaking point, in all of its subtextual glory. Meanwhile, I kept rewinding as I tried remembering where the layers of deception started, and the “they don’t know that we know that she doesn’t know that we know” games ended.

And I guess the honest answer is that I still don’t know. The episode doesn’t really end with a flashback answering at what point did the characters realize that something was off… But that’s also part of the fun, as one tries to look for the small signs they could’ve noted as well.

First of all, let’s just all acknowledge this delightful outfit:

We’re entering the stage of truly iconic Willow looks, folks.

Anywho, back to the Fath/Buffy/Angel mind games

Not to toot my own horn and say I told you so (like some characters), but by the end of the episode, I once again got stuck on the deliberate parallel drawn between Angel and Faith as Buffy’s love interests. It’s no coincidence that Buffy asks for a break between her and Angel just when her relationship with Faith has completely fallen apart.

During this rewatch I definitely got the impression that Buffy’s decision there was more of a result of where the whole thing with Faith left her emotionally, than Angel pretending to be bad for the episode. His betrayal was fake and pre-agreed upon. Faith’s was real and devastating.

I guess there’s also a weird BDSM theme here with the comments they make around the chains… So if we roll with that, the comparison is that Buffy and Angel had their safe words there. With Faith… not so much.

To drive the point home that Buffy’s conflict here is with Faith, and this is all about that broken trust, let’s also look at the scene between her and Willow, where she’s talking about seeing Faith and Angel together the night before.

Willow: No way. I know what you're thinking and no way! Buffy: You're right. Faith would never do that. Willow: Faith would totally do that.

We again see here Willow’s clear dislike of Faith, which I find especially fun as we also have Xander voicing some of his classic anti-Angel sentiments in the same episode. I do hope that I’ll have the energy to delve a bit more into that a few episodes from now.

But more importantly, look at Buffy’s line. Her response to the idea of Angel and Faith getting it on isn’t that Angel wouldn’t do that. (Remember, Angel, her boyfriend, the one who’d be cheating on her?)

It’s Faith wouldn’t do that. Faith wouldn’t do that to her.

The conclusion one can draw from that is that either she doesn’t trust Angel to begin with, or that her trust and faith in… well, Faith, is much more important to her right now. Personally? I’m leaning towards the latter.

There’s once again a lot of innuendos as well. (That we’re calling subtext for some reason, even though the sexual and romantic undertones are essentially textual at this point…) Like after Buffy and Angel come out of the movie theater, all full of pent up sexual frustration, and Faith shows up to steal Buffy away literally saying “Don’t worry big guy, just keeping her warm for you”.

I’m…

Faith: *does or says something that defines her relationship with Buffy in an undeniably sexual / romantic way*

me:

And then when they meet up at the library afterwards, and Faith does her usual routine of calling Buffy “girlfriend”, and is all touchy with her… Buffy shies away from her touch, and the rest of the Scoobies note how chilly the atmosphere suddenly became.

All that is to say that while Angel plays a prominent role in how this episode unfolds, and the parallel raised between him and Faith aren’t just serving the theme of Buffy’s relationships with them, but both of their characters as well… The real conflict itself plays out between Buffy and Faith, with all of its subtextual and romantic undertones that the show is once again leaning into.

It’s a break-up. It’s Buffy and Faith breaking up. That’s what’s happening here.

Something that I was struggling with however, is pinpointing where Buffy or even Angel and Giles started suspecting that there was something else going on with Faith. When Faith goes to Angel first, I was still unsure on where he was coming from, so I kept looking for signs that he was already reading her intentions. In retrospect though, I assume that Angel’s reactions there were actually genuine, despite Faith laying it on all pretty thick.

On the other hand, she also appeared with bloody hands after killing sympathetic demon guy who tried to help against the Mayor. So that was probably a dead giveaway once Buffy and Angel started putting two and two together.

With Buffy herself, there’s a pretty great little detail that happens when she and Faith discover dead demon guy in his apartment. (Which I wish I noticed myself, but was pointed out to me by someone else.)

Faith reaches into the other room for the light switch, not even looking, and Buffy sees her doing it. She completely gives away herself and the fact that she was in this apartment before, and the show smartly doesn’t draw our attention to it.

So when Buffy afterwards comments about how the way the demon guy was killed was ‘somebody’s idea of a party’, I couldn’t help wondering if that was a pointed jab at Faith. To get a reaction out of her and confirm whether or not she was involved.

Still, I remained unsure as we actually get the scene between Buffy and Willow after this happens. It’s also implied that Buffy hasn’t actually talked to Angel about what she saw between him and Faith the other night at that point, so they haven’t yet had the chance to cook up their Faith reveal plan.

On the other hand, she’s talking to Willow here, and we find out later that Buffy, Angel and Giles were all keeping their suspicions and the plan a secret from the rest of the Scoobies. So she wouldn’t have told that Willow quite yet either way.

Willow also comments about Buffy being “on edge”, which once again points to her probably thinking about Faith going rogue already here.

I do believe that Buffy’s “Faith wouldn’t do that” line is genuine though, even in that case. Buffy still wants to believe in Faith, even if they’re preparing for the worst.

So when Angel and Faith show up in her room, part of her must be devastated as the confirmation of Faith’s betrayal sinks in. As well as just being on edge, knowing what’s coming.

And what’s coming is a whole lot of classic posturing and sexual innuendo from Faith’s part, as she’s tempting Buffy with making out with Angel in front of her just to spite her (we already established which of their betrayals sting for Buffy more…), and being very up-close and personal with a supposedly chained up Buffy.

There’s a lot more going on in this scene of course, with Faith somewhat sarcastically rambling about her horrible childhood, and Buffy delivering some pointed jabs about being better than Faith, or Faith only being able to turn Angel to her side with a magic. We once again see proof of just how low and fragile Faith’s self-esteem actually is, and how easy it is to hurt her, despite what she claims.

I guess Faith’s speech about how she constantly felt inferior to Buffy is especially worth repeating:

Faith: You know, I come to Sunnydale. I'm the Slayer. I do my job kicking ass better than anyone. What do I hear about everywhere I go? Buffy. So I slay, I behave, I do the good little girl routine. And who's everybody thank? Buffy. Buffy: It's not my fault. Faith: Everybody always asks, why can't you be more like Buffy? But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me? Angel: I know I didn't. Faith: You get the Watcher. You get the mom. You get the little Scooby gang. What do I get? Jack squat. This is supposed to be my town!

It’s one of those lines, where you’re not exactly sure how much the character actually believes of what they’re saying. Faith putting on Buffy the fact that she was unable to connect especially rings false, when you think about just how hard Buffy worked to have that connection with Faith.

But there’s also no denying in that Faith feels like the world let her down. And that includes Buffy. Because despite Buffy’s best efforts, she could never take Faith’s side unconditionally. She could never be just like her.

Buffy doesn’t have the luxury of losing herself in someone else, or to choose them over her responsibilities. (Well, I guess we’ll have to re-examine that in a few seasons from now though…) She needed Faith to meet her halfway, but Faith was already too far gone to turn around for that.

But hey, at least Faith’s got a new apartment out of the deal as of last episode. Evil does take MasterCard I guess.

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

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soul-heart-and-beyond · 5 years

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Dewey Headcanons!

Man, I’ve been holding out on these for a good while since iconing and going through replies in my drafts, but I also wanted to clarify or touch up on some things since I’ve been so quiet about other things related to these guys. Dewey’s first up because he’s the most prominent in my head as I write this right now.

In his free time, whenever he’s not doing the Dew-Night Show, playing video games, practicing with his weapons and martial arts, and just spending time with his family and friends, he does indeed make his own music/dance hybrid videos and uploads them to DuckTube (Is that what the DT equivalent of YouTube is called?), that way he feel like his dances are appreciated on there.

While those dances don’t get that many views or likes, he does continue to try until he blows up big on there.

Dew is more conscious and considerate of others even though sometimes he may put himself first, but that’s only when the situation is one that isn’t really serious.

His attention span isn’t as short as it is in the shows’ current state. For some reason it’s more around how he was back in early season one, where he could actually figure out puzzles and what to do and stuff. (If you’ve noticed, they’ve been tossing some things around for the boys to see which one works the best.)

Now that his mom is back, he’s really hyped and curious about what he will get to do with her. It’s what he’s been wanting for the longest time at this point, but even with all of his affection and respect for her, deep down he does feel a little agitated with her choice of going into outer space before raising him and his brother first.

Pop Rock cake may have almost turned him inside out, but all he needs is a smaller dosage and he should be fine! Hey, can’t knock those things when they’re so good!

My version of Dewey is more around Launchpad, Gyro, and Fenton than he is normally in the show just around Launchpad. (I believe this was to give the triplets one to associate themselves with an older friend, [i.e. Dewey/Launchpad, Louie/Gyro, and Huey/Fenton] but they feel more like small groups than a family like everyone would want it to feel like so....)

Now these headcanons will be more recent, as they involve the last two episodes that revolve around Gizmoduck and Darkwing Duck:

He was alarmed by his notification system on his phone on Duckblr about how a massive Mark Beaks was holding what appeared to be Huey and Webby, and now even though that situation’s over, he teases Huey for playing the “Damsel in Distress” role for Fenton. (Something that he’s usually placed into but those incidents were out of his control.)

Getting the information from Launchpad, he’ll joke around with Fenton about how Gandra is really going to be his girlfriend and how they’ll “live together until they’re old folk.” Of course he’s just being or trying to be the cool guy out of his family. Though Louie does give him competition for that.

This one’s a bit of a game changer and a slight retcon, but I do have reasons behind why this one’s getting put out there. So during the Darkwing Duck episode, Dewey eventually gets to become the director of the movie that could possibly bring Darkwing Duck to being a household name again. Of course, he accepts it with the wacky ideas he believes should be inserted into the movie, even giving himself the role of playing the cool young sidekick that skateboards and wisecracks. So because he was reading that one comic with Launchpad about the alternate universes, he remembered there was a version named Quivering Quack, and he was going to don the costume to bring the character to life on screen.

In doing so, Darkwing would have gotten a new ally to battle the forces of evil with in the final battle with Megavolt, if Jim didn’t take out Drake for this. With this in mind, he did take the final shoot with Launchpad in his mind because this was a movie more for his friend than him, and placing himself above the legacy of a character that definitely had more of a reputation than him felt too rude. With this, he never filmed himself dancing on the footage when it was found at the end, but the data was corrupted, thus making it useless anyway.

(So my reasoning for why Dewey, at least my incarnation, would do this over what he did in the show is because this movie meant something, no, a lot to his pal Launchpad, even if it was some dark and edgy reboot. Loved all of the Batman Begins trilogy references by the way. Though recording himself with the camera and then editing the footage for it to be at the end not only seemed really flanderized, but out of character too. Yeah, Dewey’s in the tween age, but even someone that young wouldn’t ruin something like that for their friend, unless they were five or four. He basically ruined a chance for Drake to be Darkwing Duck both in shows/movies and Launchpad’s hope for a revival in the franchise the easy way. Not only that, but it kinda seems like he didn’t learn his lesson with Don Karnage’s appearance, and how making things all about him isn’t good for anyone, including himself. Yes, this was Launchpad’s episode more than anyone else’s, but Dewey’s attention span shouldn’t be that bad or far gone.

The other reason is that there is literally no way Dewey could have taken the camera and flash drive into a green screen room in another studio, make the dance and record it, then edit the footage to include the music and place it at the end, and then lose the flash drive by the time the fight ended and they recovered it from the wreckage. That fight wasn’t really that long and Dewey was there to watch it all. Not only that but Alistair had to find the footage that Dewey should have had on him all along if he did do this, so logically it can’t work outside of it being a joke/excuse for Drake to become a real superhero/vigilante)

Just to be clear, that moment with the footage thing at the end didn’t happen the way it did in the show. The data got corrupted, Dewey felt bad that he tried the best he could to bring Alistair and Launchpad’s hope out of the shadows, but unfortunately those shadows were too strong.

#(Warning as this gets long by the second half.)#(Mainly because I got salty at what Dewey did to the Darkwing Duck movie in the show.)#(It was so out of character for him in my eyes to do that. Screwed over his best friend and turned the movie into a joke...)#(Well this is way non canon and headcanon exist!)#Out Of Soul (ooc)#An Adventure's no Fun if There's no Challenge! (Dewey Duck)#Guard Impact! (Headcanons)

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lexiauteur · 6 years

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Prophet

Jumin/Reader Chapter 1

Request: @bat-yo-us

Wordcount: 2,846

A/N: Whew, this escalated quickly... I might have gone a lil overboard for a request this time but honestly, I’m so happy how it turned out. There will be a second chapter soon; I usually don’t do that with requests but I fell in love with the story and I didn’t wanna keep you guys waiting any longer.

As of lately, I only have time for writing on the weekends. I’m a paramedic now and I have lots of work to do so I’m super duper sorry to keep everyone out there waiting. In addition to that, keep in mind that I’m writing in english which is not my native language so I have to look things up etc. etc.

Please let me know what genre you wanna see on my blog more often. Constructive critisism is very much appreciated as always, and I hope you enjoy it! <3

Prologue

Vision – “an experience in which you see things that do not exist physically, when your mind is affected powerfully by something such as deep religious thoughts or drugs or mental illness”

Brains. The human brain is the central organ of the human nervous system, and with the spinal cord makes up the central nervous system. It controls most of the activities of the body, processing, integrating, and coordinating the information it receives from the sense organs, and making decisions as to the instructions sent to the rest of the body. The relationship between the brain and the mind is a significant challenge both philosophically and scientifically. This is because of the difficulty in explaining how mental activities, such as thoughts and emotions, can be implemented by physical structures such as neurons and synapses, or by any other type of physical mechanism.

It is unknown where in the brain dreams originate, if there is a single origin for dreams or if multiple portions of the brain are involved, or what the purpose of dreaming is for the body or mind. Opinions about the meaning of dreams have varied and shifted through time and culture. Many endorse the Freudian theory of dreams – that dreams reveal insight into hidden desires and emotions. Other prominent theories include those suggesting that dreams assist in memory formation, problem solving, or simply are a product of random brain activation.

But, even though scientists have yet to discover the real purpose of dreaming, the human mind will always be a mystery and some mysteries will forever remain unexplained.

Part 1

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, face turned to the sun. A warm breeze was wafting through the window, giving away that summer was right around the corner. Out of all the seasons, summer had always been my favorite. I’d always enjoyed the sun, the sting of it on my skin after a long day on the beach, the way its brightness lent a new look to whatever it touched. There was no shortage of sun in South Korea, but I came originally from London, and the cold rainy weathers there had left a permanent chill in my bones.

When I had moved to Seoul a couple of years ago, I’d found the slight humidity on hot summer days far more to my liking than the rainy streets of my home city. Of course, as a paramedic in a busy city, married to the CEO of a big company, I didn’t spend as much time outside in the sun as I might have liked. I even enjoyed the sweltering heat of July, when a breeze would feel like a hot flannel, and the evenings were spent on the large open balcony of the company’s penthouse Jumin and I shared. But things had changed since then. Jumin’s company had flourished, the annual income had sky-rocketed, and the penthouse had long since given way to bigger and better things. A year before, Jumin and I had moved into a ten million dollar mansion just outside Seoul, with a wide, rich green lawn and marble floors.

Now I was lying on the king-sized bed with silk sheets, taking in the warm sunrays that tickled my face. It felt good to sleep in for once, I hadn’t had a day off for more than two months, but I was so captured in my routine that I hadn’t noticed my exhaust until now. The daily night shifts were not only wearing me out, they had also destroyed my social life, and most importantly: my marriage. Not that I was complaining, I decided against the usual 9 to 5 job for a reason; because I wanted to do something meaningful with my life, something that I could be proud of when I was old and grey. But lately, Jumin and I had grown apart more and more. During the day, he was working at the company, seven days a week, while I was spending my nights in an ambulance. There was no time for us to live like a typical married couple. I would usually go to bed when he had already left for work, the sun just about to rise above the treetops of our garden. Sometimes I wondered what our marriage would be like if I had a normal job. We had become two strangers living a separate life in the same house. I don’t regret marrying him; he was the love of my life by all means, but this wasn’t the life I had pictured with him.

I was so used to his side of the bed being empty that today felt awfully strange waking up next to him. When I turned my head, his face was just inches apart from mine, his expression peaceful, and the black hair a perfect contrast to his white skin. And although I had always admired his handsome features, it pained me to look at him, knowing he would never look the same way at me.

When I couldn’t bear to look at him any longer, I got up, careful not to wake him, and made my way over to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, dressed, and walked into the big open kitchen downstairs. Although I wasn’t working in an office, I still heavily relied on caffeine to get me through my night shifts. During the months of working non-stop I had pushed my body to the limits, and coffee had helped me to push it just a little further. So just like every day, I brew myself a cup of steaming hot black coffee and went outside to enjoy it on the patio.

An hour later Jumin and I had breakfast together, but the heavy silence between us was slowly but surely depressing the mood.

“How’s work?” I asked. Not because I was interested, but rather to break the silence. There was nothing to talk about other than our work, and even then it felt constrained to keep up a conversation.

He didn’t look up from his plate, pushing the eggs around with his fork.

“Good. I intend to increase the funding of wine for cats for the next three months to help with the production.”

I nodded, studying his expression. The bags under his eyes had become darker since I last saw him and the 5 o’clock shadow made him look old.

“You look awful…” I whispered, accidentally thinking out loud. For the first time this morning he lifted his head and looked me straight in the eye. The sudden sadness that crossed his face felt like a sting to my heart, but then it turned into a look of guilt and he quickly averted his gaze. He started poking around in his food again, then stopped and put down his cutlery.

“Are you happy?”

His question came out of the blue but it drained the blood out of my face. I swallowed hard, his words ringing in my ears.

“What do you mean?” He knew I was playing dumb, but I wanted to avoid this kind of conversation.

He studied my face for a second. Then he repeated his question.

“Right now, are you happy?”

My cheeks started burning. I hated myself for taking so long to answer. A year before I would have confidently told him I was glad to be his wife, that I was happy being married to him, but over time the truth had started to settle in.

“No” I whispered, not daring to look at him.

This was not the life I wished for when I came to Korea. Although I loved him with all my heart, it was time for us to acknowledge the fact that we, as a couple, had to move on.

“Are you still in love with me?” The words came out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying. The silence that settled over us took the air right out of my lungs. A single tear was streaming down my cheek.

“I love you, Maya.”

“I know you love me Jumin. But you’re not in love with me,” I sobbed, tears dripping down my chin, “you never were. You just married me because of your father.”

I choked on my own words. I knew this wasn’t fair, throwing these accusations at him. He furrowed his brows, eyes growing cold.

“That is not true and you know it.”

“Then give me a reason to believe you!” I jumped up from my seat. “You just grew attached to me because I listened to you. I was there when you were all alone. I’ve given you the affection your mother never gave you and I asked nothing in return. Because I loved you, Jumin. But all you ever cared about was your father’s company. And you married me because you wanted to make him proud.”

There was a moment of silence. It pained me to speak the truth but as soon as I did, I felt the weights lift off my shoulders.

“I’m tired of it, Jumin. I feel like you don’t appreciate the things I do for you.”

“What am I supposed to do? You’re being irrational and unfair right now, Maya. I think you’re overreacting.”

“Overreacting?” I clenched my jaw, “Then please correct me if I’m wrong, but would you have married me if your father hadn’t approved?”

“Why do you care so much about the reason I married you? And what difference does that make?” he asked, raising his voice and jumping up from his seat as well. The fact that he didn’t deny it left me stunned, although I had known it all along.

I studied his angry expression for a second, searching for any kind of affection left in his eyes. But all I could find was disappointment and guilt.

“All the difference in the world.” It was a mere whisper but I made sure he heard it. For a split second I thought he was going to slap me. But he just took his coat, grabbed his keys from the counter and started tying his shoes.

“So that’s it? You’re just going to walk away?” I desperately tried to stop him, but he was already out the door.

Part 2

I ran through my mental list of things I needed to check, knowing I’d done everything already. Windows locked, stove turned off, passport at hand. I felt edgy and ill at ease. I was no stranger to travelling, but this was different. This trip there wouldn’t be anyone travelling beside me, not to mention I was visiting my family alone.

Driver Kim was late, but I had plenty of time to catch my flight. Still I found myself restlessly checking my phone, waiting for possible phone calls. Not that I was expecting any. The people who might have contacted me knew I was leaving the country, and the person I most wanted to talk to wouldn’t be calling.

All at once I felt claustrophobic. I carried my bags outside, careful not to trip on the way down our front porch. The car pulled up as I closed the front door. It shut behind me with a solid thunk that had a sound of finality about it. I turned away without a backward glance and walked to where Driver Kim was opening the trunk.

I’d be glad to leave, I thought. This was the first time since I’d moved that I had felt the need to get away from Seoul. I needed to escape for a while, to put some distance between myself and my marriage. Besides which, I’d not visited my family in years. I hoped this trip would be a way of bringing clarity to my mind. And of finding out if I was still in love with Jumin.

As I sat in the departure lounge at the airport, watching the slow and silent dance of aircraft through the plate glass window, I wondered what it would be like going back to England. After having lived in Korea for so long, I had not only adjusted to the country, but also became a part of it. My Korean had improved quite quickly over the past two years, and I’d consider myself fairly fluent nowadays, but I still had a hard time understanding the airport announcements.

“Attention Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 89B to London England. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance to begin boarding at this time, as well as passengers flying first class. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you.“

Since I’d booked a first class ticket, I took my bag and left to enter the plane.

I accompanied Jumin from time to time during his business trips, so I was used to travelling first class. The staff greeted me with a welcoming smile when I entered the plane and a stewardess helped me stow my bag. I sat down and took a deep breath. For the first time I felt as if I had made the wrong the decision. The thought of losing Jumin forever made my stomach twist, but we had to take a break from each other in order to rebuild our relationship and I knew that.

The plane was now ready for take-off and I braced myself for the harsh acceleration of the vehicle. I tightly shut my eyes and clutched the armrest next to me, accidentally grazing the hand of the man sitting next to me.

“Afraid of flying, huh?” he frowned at me. “Actually, flying is much safer than driving; you can look it up on the internet.”

I didn’t really pay attention to him. I wasn’t afraid of flying, it’s just the loss of control that always made me slightly uncomfortable.

After about ten minutes, we had reached the altitude of 33,000 feet, the rattling of the plane had calmed down and so had my nerves. I put my headphones in, limiting the outside noises of talking people and clicking laptops, and soon enough drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to the sound of the captain speaking. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently experiencing some turbulence. Please fasten your seat belts right away, we apologize for the inconvenience. Thank you. “

Turbulences happen all the time so I wasn’t particularly anxious, but for some reason I started feeling uneasy. I looked outside the window. It was already dark; I must have slept for at least two hours. The plane started to shake more violently and I was feeling more and more nauseous to the point where I felt like I had to throw up.

“Excuse me please,” I said to the man beside me who was nervously fidgeting with his tie. Safer than driving, huh? I thought as I stood up and squeezed through the row of seats into the aisle.

“Ma’am you have to sit down during turbulence”, one of the flight attendants urged me but I ignored her and quickly disappeared into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and was barely able to open the toilet seat, before I started throwing up. I didn’t know why my body was reacting the way it did, I’ve never had issues during a flight.

I flushed and slowly pulled myself up on the sink next to me. My knees were so weak I was barely able to hold myself upright. I looked in the mirror, my face was as pale as ash and my whole body was shaking. The lights started flickering above my head. I took one last look in the mirror, before I quickly rinsed my mouth with water and prepared myself to leave the bathroom, when I felt the plane jolt and then drop. Then I heard screaming.

It took the air right out of my lungs. This isn’t happening. My body started moving on its own when I opened the door. There was smoke everywhere, people frantically grabbing oxygen masks that were hanging from the tops. The flight attendants desperately tried calming down the panicking crowds of passengers to no avail. Then I saw the fire outside one of the windows. I stood there for a second, trying to process what was happening. But my mind was absolutely blank. I felt like a child again, I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

I locked myself into the bathroom again and slid down the door, face buried into my hands. The buzzing sound of my blood rushing through my ears drowned out the crying children from outside the door. All I could hear was my steady breathing. Soon enough I smelled the thick black smoke seeping into the room, tasted the bitterness on my lips, and I wondered if it was going to hurt.

The plane dropped again, I felt my stomach twist and turn inside of me. This is it, I thought. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact.

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