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queersatanic · 2 years

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"Lucien Greaves", movie night, and the standard a self-described religious leader ought to be held to

So, we need to talk about the difference between:

a) sex positivity

b) crassness

and

c) ...whatever this is

In their 2018 complaint to the Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination—which wasn’t a lawsuit!!—The Satanic Temple whined about how Doug Misicko’s @LucienGreaves Twitter account didn’t have a blue checkmark like @Pontifex or @DalaiLama.

Lawyer Marc Randazza argued this showed he was being discriminated against (like white nationalists Laura Loomer and Richard Spencer).

So, simply on that level, think about one of the leaders of those religions or organizations tweeting about how the thought of meeting members in person involves lubing up and makes their “peepee hurt”.

We know defenders of The Satanic Temple are already frothing at the mouth about how we must just be looking for any reason to be upset because we don’t understand the “culture” or in-jokes of #TST3K.

They will say this as if that makes it better.

(It does not.)

It is no secret that Doug Misicko’s dating pool has long included people subordinate to him in his role as "Lucien Greaves", figurehead and legal owner of the “700,000-member” international religion The Satanic Temple.

That’s true both past and present.

We've gone back and forth on talking about this directly since it was first passed to us because we don't want to catch others in collateral damage. It does seem increasingly important though, and perhaps more dangerous to not.

This conversation is presumably from a few years ago, per the age given for Doug Misicko / "Lucien Greaves" then (43), and the reference to a past partner of his.

[Redacted Yellow]: Let's just say I USED to talk to Doug (Lucien) privately. [Redacted Green]: Ahhh hah that's a common pattern. I can probably fill in some blanks there. [Yellow]: Hmm so he's done this with other girls too? [Green]: Well depends what he did with you but yeah it was never my business but saw it always. [Yellow]: He seems a bit of a player then. [graf redacted] [Green]: His girlfriend is [Redacted Pink] but yeah he's definitely been giving preferential treatment to his various mistresses who are in the org as council/chapter heads etc. One of the ex chapter heads was showing me him hitting on her and her boyfriend was on national council. Pretty bad. Was he trying that with you too then? [black redacted graf from Green] [Yellow]: Ahh he said he was single! Haha! Yeah I have dick picks still for insurance. Literally told me to come over and stay in the HQ and he's "put out". Wonder if [Pink] knows all this? What a fucking cunt he is. He sent them on his own will…I did not ask for them… [Green]: It's definitely him?! I mean I'm not shocked but that's pretty brazen even for him. I think [Pink] knows about some of the others. Not the full extent. Like I say it's not really my business what people want to do there except if it messes with people I like. [Yellow]: Yeah I spoke to him on Snapchat call and he'd sned me videos of himself jacking off.. Prick. I feel like telling [Pink] everything. I am the wrong one to mess with. Also used to tell me what he's doing and where is and wants out. 43, lives alone with his cat and plays women. Nah, I ain't letting that fly. Poor [Pink]. Doesn't deserve that. She seems a sweetheart. [Green]: It's a shame. Not really what everyone is expecting. [Pink] I didn't deal with much. She can be pretty mean and toxic at times. Not sure how much of that is due to the situation though.

Another example was sent to us last year, and we have wrestled with sharing that more widely ever since, but it's unavoidably relevant here due to the context of "movie night".

Ukrainian: The photo showed the tattoo on his arm. He usually sent a separate photo of the face and a separate photo of the genitals. Person 2: Oh wow. Did he send images of himself masturbating? Ukrainian: Yes, usually there were small videos in which he masturbated.

We also got subsequent independent confirmation from Lucien Greaves and The Satanic Temple itself.

That's because the same young woman was later named and used by The Satanic Temple for promotional purposes when she was caught up in the Russian invasion of Ukraine.

By that time, the two had patched things up again, but it explained why exactly a grown-ass man in his mid-40s was texting a young woman on the other side of the world. As she described via one of TST's official propagandists:

I don’t think I would have been able to get through this if it wasn’t for the support of Lucien Greaves and TST all this time. I was terribly scared, probably I had never had such strong emotions before. And Lucien talked to me all the time to distract me from everything that was happening, it was a very strong emotional support that helped me not to despair. And I don’t think I would have decided to leave the country so quickly with my mother and dog if I didn’t have such wonderful friends. ... I am really very grateful for all the help. In fact, I did not even expect that so many people from TST would support me. To be honest, when Lucien talked about my situation during movie night and people in the chat started writing such kind and warm words, I cried because I felt like a real part of something great and united, like one big family in which everyone loves and cares for each other. I am incredibly happy to be part of such an amazing organization.

Now, this is still difficult terrain to navigate; how much to say? How do you decide whose stories are their own to tell and whose need to be told regardless so others can be warned and avoid a similar experience?

The whisper network that exists is much larger. As you saw from the first text screenshots, it's also been an open secret internally within TST for a long time.

How do you protect the most people and hurt the fewest? There is not a perfect answer.

The Satanic Temple threatens lawsuits and harasses people with as much utter shamelessness as they promote themselves. It is a genuine threat that they will try to retaliate against you and harass you for speaking out about your own experiences. We can't fault people for wanting to avoid being targeted that way, but we do wish more people could come forward as a way to encourage all the others.

So go back and read those tweets celebrating an in-person event for movie night.

Remember this is the same guy who used TST's holiday "Lupercalia" as an excuse to openly solicit nudes from fans.

And measure them by the standard they claim to want: what if the pope, Dalai Lama, or head of the LDS church did that?

#lucien greaves #doug misicko #the satanic temple #tst3k #satanism #lupercalia

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thirsthourdemon · 4 years

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👉👈 can i get Tsukishima, Suga, and Noya finding out their s/o got suspended for beating someone up? and then they find out it was because the other person badmouthed them(the boys)? thank you!!! 💓💕💖💗💞💝

Headcanon for when their s/o stood up for them and got suspended

Includes: Tsukishima, Suga, Nishinoya

Genre: Fluff

Warning: Mild violence

A/N: Im sorry if this might be a little short

||Tsukishima

-He was supposed to go to your class so the two of you can fetch yams and finally eat together

-What he didnt expect was to hear rumors inside his own class about you

-To be honest he doesnt really care about them because whatever they whisper about he can just ask you so off he goes to your class

-“Hey is Y/N in there?” He asks your classmate which was weird because most of the time the class rep would be the one to call you

-Not that he was complaining though since he knows how much that suck up liked you

-“Oh! She isnt here today. Didn’t you hear? They got suspended for beating up the class rep!”

-Now he was mad but not because you were suspended, no he could see that from a mile away due to the stupid shit you pulled but he was mad why you didnt tell him

-He calls you up and after you pick up you quickly hear

-“Oi you dumbass, why did you get suspended and not tell me?”

-“Oh I...umm...I beat up the class rep-“

-“No, idiot. Why did you beat him up?”

-His tone was irritated but still calm and cold with a pinch of worry

-“Cause he talked shit about you!”

-Let me tell you his heart went BUBUMP and he would never admit it but he blushed

-Probs scolded you when he went to his house but also laughed when you told him how you beat the guy up

-He even said gave you a head pat for having the guts to actually beat up someone

||Sugawara

-First to know about you beating up some third year.

-This would not have been surprising if the guy you haven’t beaten up was your height or a little taller

-You beat up a senior from the basketball team who was at least 6ft tall. I-

-He was proud but at them same time very worried

-Apologized to the basketball team first then talked to you

-“He said I was a slut and that you were a little bitch”

-Now he’s having a talk with them 😔

-R I P karasuno basketball dude

-Suga may not have told you but he was proud that you didn’t take anyone’s shit but he kept on reminding you after that that he didn’t need you to do that for him

-“I dont have to! But I wanted to!”

-There you were his ever protective baby

-Daichi also scolded you 😀

-Asahi fainted when he heard and is now a bit scared of you

||Nishinoya

-He was actually there when you beat that bitch up

-It was a girl so he couldn’t threaten them or anything but when he saw his cute and always proper S/O punch that bitch who was teasing him for being short and being a bother to everyone due to how energetic he was...

-👀

-He hyped you up!

-Probably even went on suspension with you!

-He knows exactly why you just stormed in that almost empty classroom where the girl was shouting these mean things towards him

-He knew why and he fell in love with you even more

-You two hung out with saeko and tanaka when school was over too!

-Ennoshita had to tutor you cause all the classes you missed, daichi scolded you guys, suga gave you a beating but at the end of it all they really proud of both of you for standing up for yourselves~

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #hq #haikyuu karasuno #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu sugawara #haikyuu nishinoya #tsukishima kei #sugawara koushi #nishinoya yuu #tsukishima x reader #suga x reader #nishinoya x reader #hq sugawara #hq tsukishima #hq nishinoya #hq karasuno #hq peepee

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kinsurou · 3 years

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Suna has a small fixation on making sex tapes.

But in his defense? He loves watching his cock sliding between your folds with every thrust of his pelvis.

His eyes though...they always wander towards your chest. He's obsessed with the way your tits bounce every time he wrecks your body.

It doesn't matter the place; The bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom...in public.

His phone is always nearby. The small device is always directed towards you, recording the perverted acts the two of you commit together.

His favorite part of it all? zooming in right after he cums inside you. His fingers rub against your cunt before he spreads your folds, humming in amusement when the camera captures the moment his seed starts leaking out.

Lastly, the camera goes back to your exhausted face as he ask you to smile for the camera.

#haikyuu smut #hq smut #suna smut #it's peepee time

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xenclev · 3 years

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L-LEV I CAN EXPLAIN

Suna Rintarou of EJP Raijin, everyone.

Bruh, I swear it looks messy because it's not the original drawing, and there's so much going on in the original that it looks like trash.

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tetsunation · 3 years

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do yall want these haikyuu farting headcanons 🙂

#haikyuu #hq post #hq headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#I WROTE THEM A WEEK AGO AT LIKE 2AM #AND I LITERALLY LOST MY MIND AT BOKUTOS #it wasnt even that funny #i just have peepee poopoo humor #☕️ — kaffeine

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crushzone · 3 years

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Woww woke up to 700 followers, thank you everyone. It was only less than just a week since I’ve hit 600 haha. 🥳✌🏻

#got a huge influx of followers after posting my drawing of Atsumu’s peepee.#are you here cuz of Tsumu’s pp?? 👀😉#i see you i see you #it’s cool i like pp too #jkjk i welcome everyone to this theater 💕💕💕💕#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! writer #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu #fanfiction #reader insert #haikyuu x reader #haiky?!!#fanart #hq!! imagines

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tendouluvr · 3 years

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hq!! boys and the walkie talkie feature on the apple watch

- characters: tsukishima, bokuto, atsumu, kageyama

- warnings: some cursing, tsukki calls you a weirdo but in a loving way, atsumu says “peepee”

- wc: 293, 238, 257, 239

a/n: i saw a tiktok earlier where a wife and her husband connected with each other on their apple watches to use the walkie talkie feature and it lets you say anything to the other person any time without any warning so she turned it on and said ‘penis’ after he got to work and it made me giggle

TSUKISHIMA

#! either you were the one to convince him to connect, or he wanted to so that he could watch over you

#! despite being nonchalant and acting uninterested most of the time, he cares a lot

#! if you were the one to convince him, he would act like he didn’t care and pretend like it was stupid

#! but he replies to everything you say. his replies range from a quick and simple, “ok.” to calling you one of his endearing petnames, “weirdo.” and occasionally he would reply normally with answers to your questions

#! if he was the one to suggest the idea, he would use it as another way of his that shows you he cares

#! uses it to remind you to drink water, to eat, to take a break if needed, to shower at a timely manner, to not sleep at 2am (i type as it’s 1:15am)

#! he would never outright ask you how you’re doing though. it feels weird for whatever reason, so he sticks to just giving you daily reminders and he hopes you can see his efforts

#! “yn?” it was currently 1am and you hear him softly calling your name

#! “hmm?” you hummed, letting him know you were still awake

#! “why’re you up?” he immediately asked, but before you could answer he spoke up again, “whatever, i made you a playlist.”

#! it was silent for a bit, he genuinely thought you fell asleep while he was talking

#! “keiii why must you be like this? i hate you, go to sleep.” you finally spoke up, voice a quiet whine

#! you hear him snicker and then it just ended, indicating that he released his finger off of the watch

BOKUTO

#! cutie.

#! wanted you to connect with him so he could give you compliments all the time and remind you that he loves you every few minutes

#! but that quickly just turns into him treating it as if you guys were spies

#! whenever he raises his watch up to his lips, he always whispers (well, as quietly as he can) so he could pretend like you guys were those cool secret agents sneaking into official government buildings

#! “i’m in! where are you?” he loudly whispers, a tiny bubble of spit dropping onto the tiny screen

#! BOKUTO SPITS. this man is loud and his volume control is so bad. he doesn’t mean to spit, he promise, but he can’t stop it 😫😫 he talks too hard 😭

#! “bo,,, i’m at base. you’re at practice, please go before you get yelled at,” you whisper back

#! despite finding the play pretend a bit silly, you still go with it to make him happy. plus it’s lowkey fun

#! “ok babe! i love you! stay safe! i’ll be back in no time! i love you!” he ends with a loud wet smooch into the speaker

#! you laugh at that and tell him your ‘i love you’s before finding something to occupy yourself with

#! bokuto likes to end all of his talks with you with at least two ‘i love you’s just to emphasize his point

ATSUMU

#! begged you to connect with him

#! doing the whole flopping around, body draping over you, whining voice shtick

#! “baaaabbbyyy, please connect with me. ya gon’ make me cry.”

#! “then cry.” he did

#! you eventually agreed though, he was practically leaping off the walls

#! as soon as you guys were connected, atsumu took advantage of it and spoke to you every second of the day

#! and i mean every. second.

#! “hey! what’re ya doin’?” his whispered voice is heard through your watch

#! “‘tsumu what the fuck, you’re laying on my lap.” you looked down at him, who currently has the goofiest smile on his face with half-lidded eyes boring into you

#! he would be the one to say unsuspecting dirty words to surprise you

#! it’s been days since you guys connected your walkie talkies, the memory starting to make its way to the back of your brain

#! until a loud, “peepee!” was screamed from the device on your wrist

#! if atsumu could see you right now, there would be physical “?!” animations popping out of your head

#! “h-hello?” you whispered, pretending to not know who was on the other side of the screen

#! “babe? it’s me. yer ‘tsumu. did ya forget? hello?!”

#! “shaddup.”

#! he purposefully keeps his finger on the button while letting out a loud gasp to let you clearly hear it

#! basically,, turning on walkie talkie with atsumu will make you immediately regret ever getting together with him

KAGEYAMA

#! was absolutely petrified when he suddenly heard your voice coming from his watch

#! he was on his morning run, earbuds in, head in the zone

#! last thing he expected to hear this early in the morning was you through his watch saying, “hey sexy.”

#! your lazy smirk oozing through your words and he could see it in his head

#! “yn. do not scare me like that. why are you up so early anyway?”

#! him on the outside: 😐🤨

#! him on the inside: 😟😖

#! is him being jumpy ish canon? idk but i see him as a somewhat jumpy person, mainly cuz he’s kinda clueless sometimes idk

#! you giggle to yourself hearing him reply stoically before pressing down on the button to say something back, “morning, i’m going back to bed i just wanted to scare you.” he could hear you snicker before the watch went silent

#! rolling his eyes, he quickly glances around him to make sure no one was near before raising the watch up to his lips and whispering, “boo!”

#! “did that scare you?” he snickers, oddly proud of himself

#! “tobio.....go back to running.”

#! “fine. mean.” he pouts

#! you ended up staying awake a bit longer than intended and every few minutes would cheer corny words of encouragement while he was running lmao

#! his cheeks were flushed but he blamed it on the cold

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ennoshawty · 3 years

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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

97 notes · View notes

bullshxtvixen · 4 years

Text

Big Hoodies and Cute Underwear

✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *: ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Characters: Kuroo, Ushijima and Bokuto

Request: Hiii could you do a HC for Kuroo, Bokoto, and Ushijima walk in on their s/o playing video games in just a big hoodie and cute underwear. Also your work is amazing.

Request Status: CLOSED.

Warnings: 18+, spanking, mention of ass play, slight praise kink, rough sex, they’re all kinda dom af.

a/n: thank you to @nyxdelanuit for beta reading these for me, check out her writing and give her a followwww.

✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *: ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Kuroo

☆ He’d had a shitty day so all he wanted to do was come home and find comfort in you.

☆ When he makes his way into the bedroom and you’re laying on your stomach in one of his baggy hoodies and a skimpy pair of red lace underwear that show off your ass...well he’s already hard on the spot.

☆ “Hey, kitten.” He only gets a mumbled response as you continue on with your game.

☆ If that’s how you were going to be, then he was going to play his own game.

☆ He’ll sit next to you on the bed and give you a quick kiss on the top of your head before placing his hand on your back, rubbing gentle circles over the fabric of his favourite hoodie.

☆ You do your best to ignore his hand and carry on gaming.

☆ Like hell was he going to let you get away with that.

☆ His fingers slip beneath the edge of your underwear, pulling at the fabric and letting it snap back against your skin before tracing the curve of your ass with rough fingers.

☆ You’ll be biting your lip, trying not to lose focus on the game you’re playing.

☆ He smirks when you tense up beneath him as he brushes his fingers between your folds, collecting your juices around his digits before removing them and bringing them to his lips.

☆ Your eyes had left the screen now, instead watching him from the corner of your eye as his tongue slips out to taste your arousal.

☆“You taste so sweet, kitten. I could lap your juices up all day.”

☆ Don’t even think about trying to move towards him because before you can even blink he’s straddling the back of your thighs and forcing your head down into the mattress.

☆ “Did you really think you could ignore me and I’d let you get away with it when you’ve got those thighs and this,” he brings a palm down harshly on your ass, “on display for me to see? I don’t think so, kitten.”

☆ Then he pushes his shorts down slightly to release his thick cock, precum already leaking from his swollen tip.

☆ He’ll take it in his hand, giving it a few light strokes before slapping it against your ass. He knows you love it when he does that.

☆ Underwear? Those are pushed to the side before he’s giving a quick snap of his hips and sheathing his full length inside you, your velvet walls protesting as they’re forced to take all of him at once.

☆ Your half moan/half scream is muffled by the mattress as he presses your face further into it before he starts to move inside you, hard thrusts that reach so deliciously deep that they brush against your sweet spot every time.

☆“You should know better than to tease me, kitten.”

☆ Then he really started to move, his hands spreading your cheeks apart so he can watch as he buries himself deep inside your sopping cunt.

☆ I wouldn’t put it past him to slip his thumb into your ass, applying pressure inside your rear, stretching both of your holes so well. You’re nothing but a moaning mess beneath him as the sensations overwhelm you.

☆ That’ll teach you to ignore him for a video game.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ

Ushijima

☆ It takes a lot to get Ushi riled up, but when he comes home after some practice games to find you sat at the end of the bed, one of his hoodies dwarfing your frame as his eyes trail up your bare legs that are hanging off the edge as you bite your lip in concentration...well, even he’s going to get a little flustered.

☆ Were you even wearing underwear beneath the hoodie? He wanted to find out.

☆ He’ll take a seat behind you on the bed, placing a leg on either side of you, trapping you between his large form.

☆ His hands will make their way to your shoulders, gently massaging them. He knows you’ve probably been slumped over playing most of the day and he’s rewarded with a satisfied moan as you melt under those large hands.

☆“Mmm, your hands feel so good, ‘Toshi.”

☆ When you lean back into his broad chest, he’ll wrap his arms around your front, pulling you closer to him so you can feel how much he wants you as his erection is evident against your ass.

☆ You pretend not to notice though because you’re about to fight the final boss, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to concentrate for long with the way his hands were moving.

☆ He’ll let you have your fun though, he’s not in any rush. Plus he still wants to know if you’ve got panties on underneath the hoodie.

☆ His fingers move to play with the hem, his knuckles brushing against your thighs as he does.

☆ Don’t think he doesn’t notice how you press them together or how your breath catches in your throat as he allows one of his fingers to run up the length of your clothed slit.

☆ So you were wearing underwear after all. Shame. Not that a thin piece of material was going to stop his plans.

☆ He’ll place soft kisses along the side of your neck as his hands move to massage your inner thighs, his thumbs moving so that they gently press against your panties, teasing your dampened folds as he goes.

☆ “Put the controller down, y/n.” a delicate kiss just below your ear. “Good girl.” another kiss a little further down your neck, a reward for doing as you’re told. “Now spread your legs for me.” A final harsh kiss is placed where your neck meets your shoulder as his hands guide your legs so they’re hooked over the top of his.

☆ This is how he likes you, spread nice and wide for him and so so vulnerable as his fingers leave your thighs and move to slip your underwear to the side.

☆ Prepare for a lot of teasing. He’ll run his fingers up and down your glistening folds before he even thinks of putting his them inside you. The way you lean your head back against is shoulder as your breath comes out in tiny pants makes his cock throb.

☆ When he does slip two of those deliciously thick digits inside you...the way your walls stretch as they try to accommodate them is heaven.

☆ And when he begins pumping them inside of you while the index and middle finger from his other hand begin to make lazy circles on your swollen clit, you can’t help but squirm in his hold as one of your hands reaches back to grasp his neck as your hips grind down against the harsh thrusts of his fingers.

☆“I’m going to cum, ‘toshi, f-fuck.” oh he knows, he can feel your walls beginning to clench around his fingers, but he’s not ready to let you cum yet.

☆ In what feels like a matter of seconds he’s removing his hands from your cunt and using one arm to lift you up while his free hand shuffles his sweats and boxers down to his ankles.

☆ The hoodie is also pulled over your head and thrown to the floor.

☆ Now he’s got you back in the same position, only now he’s holding you higher against his chest as you feel the head of his cock poking at the entrance of your empty pussy.

☆“‘Toshi, please. I need you, please.” He likes the way you beg, it’s like music to his ears.

☆“You better hold onto my knees, love.” You do as you’re told, leaning forward in his arms to grasp his knees, your legs still hooked over his.

☆Then he’s lowering your down onto his girthy cock, groans falling from both of your as he sheaths himself inside of you. You almost cum on the spot at the feel of his tip kissing your cervix.

☆ He’ll give you a second to get used to him before his hands are in your hips and he’s guiding you up and down his length, his strength making it easy for him to move you at a fast pace as he rolls his hips up into you.

☆ You’ll be left a moaning mess for the rest of the night as he makes you cum at least three times in that position alone.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ

Bokuto

☆ Energetic baby boy cannot stand being ignored. Like it physically causes him pain to have you sitting there in a baggy hoodie that’s so big on you that it’s slipping from your shoulder, and his favourite pair of black lace underwear are poking out.

☆ No. He’s not happy at all.

☆ “Baaaaaabe, please give me attention!” Poor whiny baby. You ignore him though as you lean forward on the sofa as you spot an enemy sniper about to take out on our your team mates.

☆ Bo will just huff and sit back with his arms folded as he stares at your thighs, thinking about how much he wants to bury his face between them.

☆ His thought have him hard as a rock now and he slowly starts to palm himself through his workout shorts.

☆ He needs you so bad and when the hoodie rides up and exposes your scantily covered ass to him...well he can’t take it anymore.

☆ The remote is ripped from your hands and thrown onto the floor as he grasps your legs and spins you so that your head is against the arm of the sofa as he presses you legs to your chest, his hard on pressing against the curve of your ass.

☆ “Kou-“ he presses your legs tighter against you, the air forces to leave your body as he hovers over you.

☆ “I told you I needed you, little bird.” hips are placed against yours, his cock still straining against his shorts as he rubs himself between your thighs to create some friction.

☆ You both suck in sharp breathes at the sparks of pleasure that shoot through you.

☆ Then he’s moving so his head is between your thighs, your legs still thrown over his shoulder.

☆ You won’t get a warning before his tongue is pressed flat against your covered slit, the pressure on your clit causing your hips to buck into his face.

☆ He’ll pull away for a split second to take your underwear off, the crotch damp from his tongue and your arousal, before bunching them up and holding them out to you.

☆ “Open.” He can’t be fucking serious. “Come on little bird, open wide for me.” You do as he says, opening your mouth so he can stuff your bunched up panties inside.

☆ He smirks as you before returning between your legs, immediately thrusting his tongue between your pussy lips, “Better keep those in your mouth, we don’t want the neighbours hearing what we’re getting up to.”

☆ And fuck, you’re already so wet for him, it makes him unbearably hard as he realises it’s him that makes you feel that way.

☆ His renewed confidence has him easing his fingers to you, stretching and scissoring inside your wet heat as his lips attach themselves to your clit, biting and sucking the tight bundle of nerves as your back arches from the sofa, your muffled moans filling his ears.

☆“You look so good with my fingers inside you, babe.”

☆ You’ve cum twice before he comes up for air, your arousal coating his chin. He doesn’t bother to wipe it off before he pulls your panties from your mouth, his mouth crashing against yours as you taste yourself on his lips.

☆ Then he’s pulling back and releasing his cock from his shorts, the prominent vein beneath his shaft that rubs against your walls in the most intoxicating way is visible as his length stands flush against his stomach.

☆ “Kou, fuck me. Please. I want you inside me, make me feel good the only way you can.” You know he can’t resist being praised.

☆ because God, when you praise him like that there’s no way he’s holding back.

☆“Say it again, y/n.” It’s barely a whisper as he hooks his arms under your legs.

☆ So you do, but before you can finish he’s filling you. One hard thrust and he’s completely sheathed inside you, your needy cunt clenching around him as he presses your legs further against your chest.

☆ So deep. So full. It’s pure bliss.

☆ Then he’s moving, hips crashing into yours as his balls smack against your ass. He’s got you practically folded in half so he can reach as deep as possible within you, he needs you to feel all of him.

☆ You better hold his face in your hands and whisper all sorts of praise against his lips as his hard thrusts send jolts of pleasure exploding through your body. Each word of praise has his balls tightening further and his thrusts getting harder as he pounds into your soaking pussy, lewd sounds filling the air.

☆ Then you’re both cumming, you with your eyes squeezed shut as your nails dig into his back as he’s spilling inside you, his forehead pressed against yours as his warm cum coats your walls.

☆ A soft ‘iloveyou’ is whispered against your chest before he’s cuddling into you and falling asleep with you wrapped in his arms.

☆ If he was going to fuck you like that, maybe you’d have to ignore him more often.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ

these were so much fun to write omgggggg. i hope you enjoyed reading them as much as i enjoyed writing them <3

feel free to join my haikyuu server on discord here x

#kuroo #ushijima #bokuto #haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #wakatoshi #hq #hq peepee #haikyuu hc #haikyuu blurb #haikyuu smut #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #ushijima x reader #bokuto x reader

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pikinmin · 3 years

Note

imagine joining a hq discord server for funzies and now everyone on here knows you have a peepee kink💛

arent ya glad ya joined🥰

u have a pee kink

y’all rly came for my ass tho pain </3 could not ask for better besties tho 😩 marry me all of u 🙄

#sarahs asks !!#PISS ANON !!!!!!!!!!#eli doesn’t love pee

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makeste · 5 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 247: Todoroki Angst

Previously on BnHA: Ujiko started some kind of procedure on Tomura to make him even more powerful, because that’s what we were all asking for at the end of the last arc, isn’t it? “Horikoshi can you go ahead and make the homicidal nihilist even stronger please and thank you.” Well not to worry, because he’s got our backs! Meanwhile Hawks poked around the villain HQ trying to find out more details about That End Of The World Thing That’s Happening In 4 Months, and came up with squat. But he did successfully pass on his secret message to Endeavor about how “THE CHILDREN ARE OUR ONLY HOPE,” so Endeavor shrugged and was like “fine, HEY CHILDREN, LET’S GO FIGHT CRIME.” Anyways, so I was thinking, do you suppose they all just figured out they’re actually in a shounen manga? Because that would explain a lot.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor gathers the kids together and is all “so tell me about yourselves.” Deku is all “I have two quirks shut up it’s not weird” and says he wants to get better at harnessing his power so that he can use it without it being destructive. Kacchan is all “I’m already strong but I want to become better as a person” and I appreciate how the other characters are able to hold themselves back from exclaiming, “THIS KID’S REDEMPTION ARC... IT’S TOO POWERFUL...!” because I sure the fuck would have if I was there. And then Shouto is all “hey dad, friendly reminder that I’m here because I want to get stronger to reach my own goals, but you’re still a shitty dad and I hate your guts.” Endeavor, to his credit, reacts very appropriately to all three kids (including a resigned “got it” to Shouto, which was in fact the only appropriate response, so props to him for that), and dives right on in to mentoring the shit out of them. He then delivers a challenge -- defeat at least one villain without him beating them to the punch. So that should be fun, and I mean that with complete sincerity. Bring it!

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

oooooh shit we’re starting right on a continuation of the Fuyumi panel from last week. TODOROKI DRAMA ARC INCOMING. THIS IS IT BOYS. THE BIG ONE

omg omg omg

friendly reminder that chapter 242, in which this internship was first announced, came out on September 6. that is six whole weeks that we’ve been waiting for this internship to actually get started for real. I WAS PROMISED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND UNUSUAL INTERACTIONS AND UNLIKELY BONDS BEING FORMED. and I have been patient, because In Horikoshi We Trust, but is it finally that time now? I just need them to stop hinting at it and finally get to it before I lose my mind okay

so Endeavor is asking Baku and Deku for their character profiles

Deku: “I used to break bones on demand, now I shoot wind from my fists along with the occasional Venom Symbiote”

Bakugou: “I blow shit up and I also have your character development arc, but fast-tracked so that it kicked in before I could fully become a massive prick like you”

meanwhile Shouto just sits there pouting because as we know from the Babysitter’s Club arc (and also from the Sports Festival arc, during which he dragged Deku into a hallway and was all “time to tell you about my tragic past” completely unprompted), he actually has his own character profile on standby ready to go at a moment’s notice, but everyone just keeps it benched all the time. poor Shouto

(ETA: he will not be silenced!!)

so Endeavor is phrasing this in the weirdest way possible, asking them to state “their current ‘assignments’” lol what. at least the second part of this is clearer, with him asking what they want to gain from this internship

okay so Deku says he wants to control his power so that he can “move at max performance.” yes that’s a very good goal for you, World’s Last Hope

lmaoooo

“weren’t you the kid who broke every bone in his arms several times in succession while attempting to KO my youngest child.” way to make an impression Deku

so Deku patiently explains that, yes, but we’re WELL BEYOND the whole bone-breaking stage now and currently at the “trying to master my new SECRET POWER which is still under wraps” stage. get with the times, Endeavor

hahaha here we go. this is so painfully awkward

“yeah so I kind of have a second quirk now. you know. as one does. please ignore how the only other known person to ever have multiple quirks just so happens to be the greatest villain of all time who is currently incarcerated in Tartarus following his last stand during which the number one hero lost all his power. that’s not relevant. anyways so yeah, two quirks, it’s totally normal and not a big deal at all”

what the actual fuck is he going to do once quirks # 3, 4, 5, etc. come along? this is such a disaster it’s not even funny. and by the way, this whole time I’ve been ignoring the elephant in the room that is Katsuki’s face while Deku nearly spills the beans about his so-called secret. but let’s all just acknowledge that it’s amazing and it belongs in a museum

thankfully Endeavor has had more than enough of exercising his brain today after all of that codebreaking, and isn’t even bothering to ask any questions. instead he’s just like, “show me.” probably the right call; easier to just see wth he’s going on about rather than keep listening to this strange and incredibly suspicious explanation

here we go guys time for some BLOOP

that’s because you’re still scared of it! boy if you’re not going to listen to Katsuki then I hope Endeavor can knock some sense into you at least!

you know, Endeav may be scowling so hard his face is gonna get stuck that way, but so far he’s not half bad at this mentoring/coaching thing

really appreciate how he jumps straight into asking pertinent questions about what Deku wants to do with this new quirk, rather than being all “how the fuck do you go from breaking all of your bones to THAT”

so now Deku’s explaining how it works and says he’s been applying the same principles that he uses with Air Force

LMAOOOOO

this right here is the most accurate introduction to Deku that Endeavor could ever have possibly received. THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE CHARACTER

and it also neatly sums up his whole problem with Blackwhip as well, which is just that he’s way overthinking it. no fucking wonder he can’t do anything with it yet! he’s trying to run NASA-level calculations in his head in real time while using it, like wtf. just let loose boi

also can we stop and appreciate how both Bakugou and Shouto are just fucking done. like, Bakugou is one thing, but just look at Todoroki fucking Shouto, Deku’s #1 fan and admirer, being all “wtf I hate Deku now”

LMAO AGAIN

Burnin’ is quickly rising through my favorite character ranks. meanwhile Shouto has gleaned, quite correctly, that those were in fact words coming from Deku’s mouth. what kind of words is a mystery, but at least it’s something

omfg Endeavor can speak Deku

(ETA: one of the things I’m noticing on a reread is how Endeavor is approximately twice the size of the kids. and it’s not like they’re small or anything. but they look like toddlers next to him. he’s only 6′4″ how is he towering over them to this degree.)

I feel like Endeavor’s intelligence levels fluctuate from week to week. or even from panel to panel. enigma

so blah blah blah he’s thinking to himself “his raw power rivals All Might’s” and then -- ! LOOK AT THIS SHIT

SOFT ENDEAVOR ADOPTING DEKU WTAF. holy shit. if anyone says they saw this coming, I’m calling you out as a fucking liar. BUT I’M HERE FOR IT OMG

AND NOW THIS ONE’S TURN!

(ETA: Kacchan is 5′7″. pretty sure Endeavor is actually 8 feet tall.)

lmao Deku’s face. trying to work out what this means and whether it’s good or bad

meanwhile, after the multiple pages of extensive rambling from Deku, Endeavor is about to get an introduction from Bakugou which will likely just consist of “I WANT TO BECOME THE NUMBER ONE” with absolutely no introspection whatsoever. basically the polar opposite of Deku. gotta love it

HERE WE GO

ooh, unexpected! though still brusque. but to be fair, he’s gifted when it comes to saying a lot in few words

(ETA: out of the three, Kacchan definitely took up the least amount of time with his introspection. not bad for a kid who used to think the entire fucking world revolved around him. growth!)

now he’s bitching at Burnin’ for not having anything better to do than stand around heckling them lmao

SHE’S HERE TO PROVIDE COMMENTARY KATSUKI SHHH. in other news, today I learned that Burnin’ is actually me. huh

OH MY GOD KATSUKI IS METAING -- !! [ELBOWS MY WAY INTO THE FRONT ROW] EVERYONE FUCKING SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND LISTEN!!!!

OH MY GOD

y’all Katsuki really just fessed up and admitted to needing to work on his growth as a person rather than his physical ability. along with a NEW ADORABLE CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK, EXCUSE ME WHILE I ORDER PRINTS OF THIS TO PUT IN MY WALLET

AND HERE WE GO NOW, THE WHOLE “I WANT TO SURPASS THE NUMBER ONE” PART. BUT IT WAS SO MUCH DEEPER THAN I EXPECTED, KATSUKI YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE ME PROUD! LOOK HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO BE A BETTER PERSON

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, IF YOU’RE NOT ROOTING FOR BAKUGOU KATSUKI THEN WHY ARE YOU EVEN READING THIS MANGA HONESTLY

OMG ENDEAVOR

“this kid...” REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE, DOESN’T HE! OH MY GOD I NEED TO SIT AND CALM DOWN AND DRINK SOME WATER

anyway so do you love him. YOU BETTER SAY YES!!

LMAO SHOUTO COULDN’T HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER

LET’S HEAR IT THEN, FIVE PEEPEE MAN!!

Endeavor is whipping back around on him all “I THOUGHT YOU CAME HERE TO MASTER YOUR NEW TECHNIQUE” with this look of borderline panic on his face that implies to me that it’s one thing to take on two new kids with no familiar baggage, and quite another to have to deal with his own son’s personal angst which is directly related to his own worst personal shortcomings and sins! but that’s just too bad, Endeavor! also, fuck you!

OH MY GOD TODOROKI SHOUTO HAS THE SOFTEST SADDEST EXPRESSION AND THIS SPEECH IS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY WHAT THE HELL

even Kacchan has gone soft. meanwhile, is somebody cutting onions in here or

(ETA: also, Kacchan really has been promoted to best friend status, hasn’t he? or co-best friend at least. Shouto really does value their time training together, huh. “spending time with these guys.” anyways so this officially is the TodoBakuDeku arc, sorry everyone I don’t make the rules.

also! I really love how Shouto’s character development has been all about him finally figuring out what it is that he wants. one way or the other, Endeavor has been the focus of his life since childhood. everything he did was centered around him, even when it was centered around defying him. it was still always him, and never Shouto. because he’d been raised as his father’s tool, he struggled with feeling like anything he achieved was just giving his father exactly what he wanted. so he never really had the freedom to strive toward his own goals until Deku finally broke him free of that mindset. it wasn’t until he was surrounded by others who shared the same dream he’d once had that he was able to move past the toxic part of that resentment. not to say that it wasn’t justified, because it was! and is, still. but all the same, it was hurting him at least as much as it ever hurt Endeavor, if not much more so.

so I really like the message his arc sends here, which is that forgiveness is not so much for the benefit of the one who hurt you as it is for yourself. and that’s obviously not the right word for it, by the way -- “forgiveness” -- but it’s just a placeholder for lack of a better one. because obviously as we can see, he hasn’t forgiven him, but what he has done is put that part of his past behind him. for his own sake, for his own peace, which he deserves. anyways guys Shouto is so fucking strong and I love him so damn much. shit.)

“y’all didn’t think I was gonna put the Terrible Trio together with Endeavor and not follow through on it with piles and piles of Todoroki angst,” Horikoshi says, casually filing his nails with one eyebrow raised. “c’mon”

here it comes y’all

ain’t no force on this earth more dramatic than a Todoroki. did he somehow get a wind blowing in from somewhere. aren’t they indoors

loool Endeavor getting DRAGGED LIKE AN UNTIED SHOELACE in front of these kids he just met two seconds ago, oof. “don’t forget dad, just because I’ve mellowed out a bit and accepted that I need to learn how to use my fire side doesn’t mean I don’t still hate your guts because BOY DO I.” oh damn

so your kid is justifiably pissed at you for your decade and a half of abuse, not to mention annoyed that you’re just putting it all behind you now and acting like it never happened. but it’s not like it’d make things any better if he just went back to acting like a jerk with these new kids! so here we all are, with no easy answers for this situation. what’s a 45-year-old man trying to make up for his past sins to do

(ETA: boy I just took a stroll around the ol’ fandom and a lot of people have really strong feelings about this huh. the most common sentiment seems to be “YAASSSS SHOUTO”, which I can 100% get behind. but it seems like a lot of people are also angry that Shouto is in this situation to begin with. specifically, we have the usual faction of people who are upset that Endeavor is getting any kind of redemption arc at all, and would prefer if he remained eminently hatable and shunned and detested for the rest of his days.

and look, I get it. humans are hardwired to want things to be fair. we want karma. kindness should beget kindness, and cruelty should net you the same treatment in return. reap what you sow. and while some crimes occasionally fall into a grey area, it hardly gets more black and white than Endeavor’s case. not only is there the child and spousal abuse, there’s also the incredibly dubious consent issues that arise in the case of an arranged marriage. like, there’s really no question that what he’s done is bad. so to see behavior like that “rewarded” by his becoming the number one hero, and to see people actually admiring him, and to watch him taking steps to turn his life around even as his wife and children struggle to gather the shattered pieces of their own lives -- yeah, that’s gonna trigger something in a lot of people. because it’s not fair. he hurt good people who didn’t deserve it, and all of this makes it seem like he’s getting away with it.

but here’s the thing -- there are different types of penance. there’s punishment, but there is also atonement. and Endeavor is getting his just desserts in some ways -- by being forever denied the chance to reach the goal that he worked his whole life toward, and by finally developing a conscience, the better to fully experience the remorse of knowing the pain he brought about to his family. but what’s arguably more important than that is that he also has the opportunity to try and atone for some of the terrible things he’s done, by doing good in the world now. he is a hero. his job is to help people. every day he is making the world a little better by doing that. and that, to me, is such a fascinating idea: a terrible person doing good things. and it’s something that feels almost counterintuitive, and that’s part of why a lot of people have so much trouble accepting it, I think. but it’s a fact of life, isn’t it? if good people can do bad things, then it stands to reason that the reverse is true as well.

and I’ll just come right out and say it -- for me, if it comes down to a choice of having someone be punished, or having them be forced to do good things to atone, I’m gonna go with the latter just about every time. because while it may not feel quite as viscerally satisfying, it’s the option that produces the greatest net benefit for the world. without Endeavor, the world would have one less person out there battling evil. and as I suspect we’re going to continue to see in this arc, there are other, subtler ways that he can still do good as well.

so yeah. it’s a tricky thing. but to be honest, the ability to explore this type of complexity is one of the things I respect the most about Horikoshi’s storytelling. he’s not taking the easy way out here. he’s not giving us easy answers one way or the other. no matter what kind of resolution we get to this character arc, it’s not going to be something that will satisfy everyone. but that’s just how it is. anyways, apologies for the rant.)

hmmm Endeavor

yeah you really read that one wrong. anyway I guess it’s your turn to make a speech now

...

classic Endeavor

(ETA: actually truth be told, that was quite eloquent, and pretty much the only thing he could have said in response to all that. it’s not like he can even begin to justify all of his actions, and pretty much anything else that came out of his mouth would have come off like an attempt to dismiss his son’s feelings, or him trying to weasel out of taking responsibility. there is pretty much nothing else he can say here except for “I understand. that’s valid, and I fucked up.” which this is pretty much acknowledging. anyways this whole chapter is basically the sequel/continuation to 192 and I’m loving it omg.)

so he says he’ll watch over the three of them as a hero, and lead them in hero stuff

oh, I wasn’t going to post this panel, but now Endeavor’s saying “those are the three fundamental skills sought after from a hero” so I guess I should, huh

ooh he says that generally heroes will choose to specialize in either rescue or battle, but his policy is to kick ass at all three. well that’s one similarity between him and All Might, at least. if you’re not here to both win and rescue then what are you even doing with your life am I right

damn there really is a reason why this guy is the number one huh

okay, like. not to knock like 99% of the other heroes out there, but is anyone else sitting there thinking “wow, finally someone competent” or is it just me. like, I really do get a sense of “he’s got it all under control” from him which is lacking with pretty much all of the other heroes. no wonder society is on the verge of being in shambles. what we really need is for all heroes to be this capable, and not just All Might or Endeavor or whoever happens to be the current number one

okay, Endeavor is really out here being a genuinely good mentor, I’m speechless

holy shit

-- WHAT, NO! ARE WE ALREADY DONE?? WHY

okay but I do love that, though. it’s a perfect goal for them. difficult, but not impossible at the rate they’re growing. and it also just so happens to be something that they need to be able to do if they really are going to be the shoulders that society is resting all of its hopes upon. and last but not least, it’s something that all three of them will be able to set their minds too gladly. kick this old man’s ass, kids

anyways. ladies and gentlepeople this chapter was only thirteen pages. shortest chapter we’ve had in a minute. but at least it was densely packed! even if Shouto took up like half of it with his Daddy Issues Speech. that’s okay Shouto we always welcome your daddy angst

all in all I am satisfied. character development, and finally a clear goal for the arc. though part of me would also love it if they manage to achieve this in like the very next chapter. you never know with these wunderkinds lol

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 247 #endeavor #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha meta #makeste reads bnha #well here I am back from six flags at 1:30 a.m. and ready to rant about bnha in the middle of the night #I guess technically speaking it's not *that* late #in tumblr time anyway #anyway my bad sorry guys!

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