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ladydevoir · 3 years

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Weiss coming out as trans to her team?

The halls of Beacon were quiet as Weiss walked through, though she was glad for the peace as her mind was swimming in thought. She was silently dreading returning to her dorms, knowing what was waiting for her. But, she had decided tonight was the night, and she would not cower away from what she had decided to do. Best to get it over with rather than continuing to let her dread grow. Soon a voice broke her train of thought. “Hey Weiss~!” She looked back as the owner of the voice caught up to her, a plastic bag in hand. “Hello Nora, It’s good to see you. I see your trip to Vale was productive.” Nora beamed back at her with her usual energy. “Good to see you too~ And heck yeah it was~ Me and Ren found that cute coffee shop you told us about, Jaune actually managed to not throw up on the ride there, though he was wasnt as lucky on the way back, and me and Pyrrha went shopping for our dresses for the dance~ Oh, and here’s the stuff you wanted~” Nora held up the back for Weiss who took it and looked through it, a set of razors and shaving cream along with some skin care for after. “Thank you very much Nora. Im afraid I was starting to run low, and our team won’t be free to travel to Vale for a few days. Please, what do I owe you?” As she began to sift through her bag for her purse, Nora held up her hand. “Nuh uh uh, you dont owe me anything. Girls like us gotta stick together after all, and you’d do the same for me~” Nora’s usual high energy voice had softened as she spoke, to which Weiss was grateful. Since coming to Beacon she had been nervous about the truth coming out about her, thankfully Nora had seen through her immediately and been a true pillar of support. Weiss had been surprised and rather relieved when Nora had revealed she was just like her, and in moments like this it was wonderful to have someone to talk to and help her without any worry about questions she was not particularly wanting to answer. As if sensing some unease, Nora gently squeezed her shoulder and nodded her head towards a small bench in the hall. As the two sat down, Nora spoke up. “Hey, you doing ok? You seem off.” Weiss sighed and nodded. “I am just...nervous. I promised myself that tonight would be the night I tell the rest of my team, the truth about me.” Nora watched Weiss’s expression, seeing the build up of worry on her face. “You know the others aren’t going to suddenly turn on you just because of this, right? I cant imagine this would be a big deal for Ruby or Yang, and I doubt Blake would mind really.” Weiss let out another sigh and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes before responding. “I am fully aware that no one on my team will be upset or treat me any different.” “So...whats the problem then?” Weiss looked down, her eyes darting left and right to make sure there was no one else listening, before she spoke. “When Blake accidentally revealed that she was a Faunus, I….did not handle the news with grace. I accused her of having lied to us, keeping the truth hidden from us. And while I did apologise for it afterwards, I still cannot take back what I said. And that is why I am worried. I was so quick to accuse her of lying and hiding the truth and yet here I am, having done the very same thing since starting Beacon.” Her hands gripped one another as she looked down, shaking slightly. “My standing with Blake and the others is not exactly on stable terms, and I am afraid that revealing myself after all I said to Blake might cause more strife between us.” Nora listened quietly as she gave Weiss’s back a gentle rub. Thinking carefully before responding. “If you’re this worried, then why now? Why not wait?” Weiss took a deep breath and looked straight ahead, as if steeling herself for it. “Because I owe it to my team to be honest with them, especially after how I overreacted to Blake. I cannot allow myself to hide the truth any longer, even if…” She looked down at her hands, starting to tremble. Instantly Nora knelt down in front of her and gently cupped her face, speaking softly. “Hey hey, dont go working yourself

up over ifs and maybes. Sure, you said some things, but you said sorry, and they forgave you. Im sure they wont be bothered by this. And if things go south, hey you can always just join our team~! Though we’d need to work out how to include W to JNPR~” Weiss let out a sniffle and smiled, raising her head from Nora’s hands and slowly standing, Nora instantly hugging the girl, to which Weiss reciprocated. “Nora, thank you so much. You have been a wonderful friend to me and I cannot repay you enough.” Nora pulled back from the hug with a wide smile, her usual energy returning. “Hey come-on, thats what friends do, we look out for one another~” Weiss picked up the bag from the ground and nodded back, the two girls walking back to the dorms, idle chatter filling the time before they arrived, Nora giving a big thumbs up before entering her room, leaving Weiss with her hand on the handle, taking a deep breath before entering the room, barely having time to duck as a pillow came flying towards her, narrowly missing as she looked upon the scene. Ruby holding a pillow and swinging hazardly at Yang, who weaved out of the way and returned with her own swing, before the two registered Weiss and stopped. “Hey Weiss! You wanna join in~? Blake might join if its two on two~” Ruby chirped excitedly, her energy seemingly limitless. “Yeah come-on princess, I’ll be more than happy to whoop your butt as well as my little sis’s~” Yang said with a smirk on her face, before dodging a well timed throw from Ruby. Weiss sighed and picked up the pillow that had nearly hit her and closed the door, shaking her head. “Honestly it is a wonder how the two of you are considering becoming huntresses when you act like little children.” “Ah cmon Weiss-y, you gotta have a little fun now and then, whats the point of life if you stay ridged all the time~?” Weiss shook her head and made her way to her bed, placing the pillow onto it and sitting, restless as her worry was building up again. “Weiss? Are you..ok?” Weiss looked up startled at the last member of the team over on her bed, slowly closing her book and focusing her attention on her. “You seem….kinda tense.” Weiss took a breath to help calm her nerves as her other two teammates looked over, all showing a similar sign of concern. “Actually Blake, I need to talk to you. All of you, if that is ok?” Yang flopped down onto Blake’s bed and looked over at her, while Ruby sat down beside her, all eyes on her. “Whats wrong Weiss? Blake’s right, you’re looking real tense.” Weiss’s eyes focused on her hands as she fidgeted, trying to come up with the right words. She silently cursed herself, this should not be this hard. A hand coming to rest on her knee drew her from her thoughts as she looked over at her partner, a soft-yet warm smile on her face. “It’s ok Weiss, whatever’s wrong, you know we’re here for you, right?” Weiss felt herself relax slightly, thankful for her partner’s kind words. “Okay, I do not know how to properly say this, so please, be patient with me.” With a reaffirming nod from Ruby and an audible “Mhm” from Yang, she continued. “The truth is...I have not been entirely honest with the rest of you. And for that, I am sorry to all of you, but mostly, I am sorry to Blake.” Blake looked over, confused. “Weiss, what are you-” Weiss raised her hand to stop Blake, taking a breath. “I was not at all kind to you when you revealed the truth about yourself, despite the fact that in doing so, I was being extremely hypocritical myself. Ive been hiding a truth myself, and after all that has been said and done, I feel I owe it to all of you to be honest.” Weiss took a quick glance at her team, Yang’s expression was clear confusion, Ruby was still giving her the same calming smile, while Blake had become more focused on her. She took a deep breath and continued. “The truth is, I….was not born a girl.” Weiss waited for a response from the others, but when none came, she looked up at her three teammates. Yang looked somewhat shocked, Blake still had her focused look on her, though it was clear she hadnt

expected that. Ruby however, didnt seem shocked or surprised in the slightest. “So, like Nora?” Weiss nodded, and to her surprise found herself being wrapped in her partner’s embrace. “Aww Weiss, you dont have to be nervous, its not like we’d think of you any diferent, ya know?” Yang looked over, shaking off her shocked look and sitting forward. “Yeah, Rubes is right, you’re still our icy princess after all, right Blake?” Blake looked over at Weiss, her expression no longer one of shock, but of understanding. “You were worried I’d be mad at you, werent you?” Ruby and Yang looked to one another as Weiss nodded slightly. “I acted like you lying to us about yourself was such a big deal when I have been lying this entire time.” Weiss continued to hang her head. “Its ok Weiss, really. You already apologised more than enough times for me to know you mean it. And I get it, really. Growing up where you did, I know that kind of thinking isnt easy to get rid of.” Blake shifted herself and stood up. “But, you’re wrong about something.” Weiss looked up hesitantly as Blake stepped over to her, kneeling down in front of her. “You haven’t lied to any of us.” Weiss looked taken aback, not sure what to make of that. It was far from what she had expected Blake to say. “I...I am not sure I follow.” Blake smiled at her softly, resting her hands gently over Weiss’s. “You havent lied to us, because you arent pretending to be something you arent. You’re a girl Weiss, even if you weren’t born one. You haven’t hidden anything from us. From day one, you have been honest to us.” Yang soon walked over, sitting on the other side of Weiss. “Blake’s right, ya know? You’ve always been honest with us about who you are, and you didnt have to feel like you owed us to tell us.” She felt her eyes begin to well up, she knew they would accept her but she had fully expected Blake to be mad at her. To find not only was she not mad, but giving Weiss words of kindness and understanding as she had, it felt overwhelming. Said team was quick to embrace her as she felt a few tears flow, a small smile on her face. “T-thank you, all of you. I-I suppose I should not have been worrying so much over this.” Ruby gave her a gentle squeeze. “Well, worrying about things too much is something you’re best at.” “Hey!” They all laughed as they remained in their embrace, Weiss giving a gentle chuckle. Of course Nora has been right, she shouldn’t have been worried about hypothetical ifs and maybes, especially not with her team. A team that, day by day, Weiss would consider more and more her real family. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whooo boy, this, this was a tough one. Im proud of how her talk with Nora went at the beginning, I felt like I wrote that well, and yeah I HC Nora as trans. But writing her coming out to her team, I kept erasing and redoing parts because I really did not know how to do it right. This is one I feel like I should come back to when ive gotten some more experience writing.

#rwby #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #nora valkyrie

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liddolwhynot2000 · 3 years

Text

Chains: Part 1

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Summary: In that moment, like a stamp on an official document, you cemented your own feelings-- you were okay and you were happy for Marie and Erwin, your own feelings be damned.

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Pairings: Levi/Reader, Erwin/Reader

Genre: angst, longing, firm resolve

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ChainsPt2 ChainsPt3. ChainsPt4

Drabble#1

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When you had first met Erwin Smith, it was during his younger days as a lowly cadet. You were a barmaid back then, working at the tavern that was frequently visited by the soldiers. Looking back on it, even now, you could easily recall when you had caught sight of the handsome, young man.

He had been laughing merrily, surrounded by his friends. His blue eyes had been sparkling, cheeks flushed from the alcohol intake, hand slapping the table repeatedly. You had instantly liked the look of him, admittedly becoming a little smitten by him.

You saw him around after that, but were often too shy to approach. Your friend, Marie, was the one who usually served their table. They were never too rowdy, making them an easy table. It helped that Marie found most of them easy on the eyes.

It was on one of her sick days that you ended up encountering Erwin for the first time. The other barmaids had pushed you to serve the table, and after a pep talk with yourself and a few deep breaths, you had approached them.

Most of them were suprised to see you, no doubt having grown to expect Marie and her banter with them. Some of them, much to your surprise, looked rather stunned by the sight of you. You knew you were decently attractive but you had never gotten a reaction like this. Although, much to your slight dissapointment, you hadn't been able to catch Erwin's expression.

Maintaining your cool and politely smiling, you took their orders, ignoring how some of them stuttered. As you walked back to give their orders, you could have sworn you had felt eyes watching you.

And even thought you knew it could be anyone, a part of you had really hoped they were Erwin's.

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After that, you didn't serve their table for a while, only accidentally making eye contact with some of them. More often then not, much to your elation, it was Erwin.

The two of you had even chatted with each other, not really friends but no longer strangers. It was usually when he was the first to arrive before his friends and lasted for just a little more then a few minutes. But it was still enough to make your heart beat too fast afterwards.

One day, Marie had asked you to help place some dishes at their table. Hiding your eagerness, you dutifully began setting the tray up.

When you approached their table, you were met with bright expressions and polite greetings. You carefully looked at everyone sitting at the table as you set the dishes down, giddily noting Erwin's smile. However, your heart had jumped in your throat when his eyes lit up, a grin breaking out.

'Why hello soldiers!'

You were caught off guard when Marie's voice rang out from behind you. The soldiers began talking to her, and you began to inch away after a meek goodbye. You kept your expression neutral, unwilling to show how you really felt as you walked away.

As you washed dishes that night, the way Erwin's expression had lit up at the sight of Marie had repeatedly flashed in your mind.

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You kept your head down after that. You were shy and weak, but you had some self respect. Someone who harboured feelings for someone else was off limits for you, especially since it involved someome you considered your friend.

You knew Marie wouldn't turn him down if he approached her. He was handsome, polite, had good manners and considering his status in the top 10, likely to go into the military police. You knew her parents had wanted her to marry someone who could give her a good life, someone preferably in the military police. It was a match made in heaven really.

You would only ruin your friendship with Marie if you tried something. And you couldn't even begin to think of how awful it would be to get rejected by Erwin. So, with your heart locked and wrapped up in chains, you carried on with life as before.

You pretended to not care once you started noticing Marie and Erwin balantly sitting together, away from his friends. You refused to acknowledge your bitterness at the flirtatious edge of her tone, the dreamy sighs she gave when talking about him, instead choosing to smile at her and wish her well. The way he looked at her like she was his everything, and how besotted he was just by her existence, it often reinforced the tensility of the chains across your heart.

A few weeks later, when you had gone to throw the trash away in the darkness of the night, you spotted two very recognisable figures in an intimate embrace against the wall.

In that moment, like a stamp on an official document, you cemented your own feelings-- you were okay and you were happy for Marie and Erwin, your own feelings be damned.

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Since then, you began to watch their blooming romance with a much more open heart. You still had feelings for Erwin, ones that made you feel ashamed of yourself now, but you were much more at peace with them.

Besides, it wasn't like you were in love with him. You had liked him, had wanted him to notice you, but alas, you knew your own personality was what had kept you from making an impression on him. You were too quiet, unlike Marie, who was sociable and chatty, often finding it easier then you would to get along with people. You preferred silence and books, while Marie often filled silence with pleasant and entertaining chatter. She often managed to hilariously banter with the soldiers, something you could never comfortablly pull off.

As graduation grew nearer, you could see how excited Marie was getting. Once Erwin joined the Military Police, she was planning on introducing him to her parents, which would probably lead to them getting married soon. She had already started looking wistfully at wedding dresses, envisioning the ceremony. You anticipated recieving a wedding invite any day really.

Except, you didn't. Marie quit her job the day after graduation and you only heard from her in letters afterwards. She wrote to you cheerfully enough, however there was no mention her upcoming nuptials. Although, you found yourself lacking the time needed to dwell on Marie and Erwin, for your mother had fallen ill and needed extra care and attention.

Months would go by, full of doctors visits and tears, and your mother would only get worse. She lost her sense of smell and taste, and wouldn't eat anything you had made for her. It was when she started struggling to breathe and couldn't even sit up on her own, that you lost all sense of the world around you.

By the sixth month of her illness, as you quietly slept by her bedside, her body would quietly give up on itself, only to be discovered by you in the morning.

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A year after your mother's untimely death, you recieved an elaborate letter in the mail. You had figured that Marie and Erwin had already gotten married and you had missed it in your haze of grief, but much to your surprise, you had recieved a wedding invitation.

Taking a bite of the apple in your hand, you had slowly opened the invite, figuring you already knew what was written inside.

... You are cordially invited to the marriage ceremony of Nile Dok and Marie...

Eyes wide, you had stared at the invitation stupidly.

Looks like Marie hadn't been telling you alot.

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The wedding was to take place next week, so you had gone a few days early to visit Marie, too curious about what exactly was going on.

Your friend had been happy to see you, apologising for not visiting. It was only when her mother had left to go to the market for some last minute shopping that the two of you finally talked about the elephant in the room.

Erwin had joined the Survey corps

The day before graduation, he had unexpectedly told Marie that he was considering it. Tensions had already been high, because his friend Nile had drunkenly confessed to Marie, leading to a big fight. At the end of the night, Marie had managed to convince him to join the Military Police, only for him to end up joing the Survey Corps the next day anyways. She had known her parents would never approve, and had ended their relationship immediately, much to his despair.

Nile, who had joined the Military Police, had approached her a few months after. He had already begun climbing the ranks and Marie knew her parents would be thrilled, so, she had accepted his marriage proposal.

'Dont you love him?'

'I loved him. But I love my parents more. He knew that.'

'I thought.. That-'

'that I would give up everything to be with him?'

You blinked in surprise, causing her to chuckle.

'I told him my priorities from the start. He chose the titans. Not me.'

You had let the topic drop after that, opting to discuss her wedding dress instead. However, the truth in her words kept ringing in your head. Erwin had decided to join the Survey Corps, knowing full well he would lose Marie.

The chain on your heart shook a little, your traitorous heart imagining for a moment of it had been you in Marie's place.

You would have supported him.

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You hadn't seen Erwin since two days before his graduation ceremony. In fact, it had been 2 years since the last time you had seen him. You had quit your old job when a friend had offered you a job as the manager of a decent resteraunt owned by her uncle in Wall Rose. Unbeknownst to you, it was near the Survey Corps Headquarters and often visited by their soldiers.

It was during your first week there that you saw Erwin again and much to your surprise, he approached you seperately. You had noted how he had gotten taller, easily towering over your small form. He had only grown into his looks in the time you hadn't seen him and his way of speaking was eloquent as always.

You could hear the distinct clanging of those chains, trying to slowly untangle themselves, as Erwin inquired about your well being. The conversation had been short but smooth. And somehow, by the end of it, the two of you agreed to have lunch together in the near future.

You had considered it a fleeting, empty promise on his part. You doubted he would actually go out of his way to spend time with you.

You were proven wrong when 3 days later, he arrived at the resteraunt during your lunch break.

The metal in your chains began to feel brittle.

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Another year would go by, and you settled in the new area well. You had neighbours you got along with, co workers who you worked with pleasantly. The pay had been five times what you had been making before, so you had been saving alot of money, maybe enough for a house one day.

Unexpectedly, you and Erwin had become friends. When he wasn't planning for expiditions or performing chores, he sometimes approached you. The two of you either discussed books, or sometimes ate at the resteraunt together, enjoying each others company.

You could hear the whispers, the rumours about the two of you. Everyone had assumed that this closeness between the two of you meant more, that it was romantic. You never acknowledged anything, firmly believing he was just being friendly with you.

You had given up on him ever feeling anything for you the day his feelings for Marie had become clear. Your heart was clean and you harboured no ill will. The fact that the two of you had become friends changed nothing.

You would never allow anything to happen.

If only you could get the demon rattling at those damn chains to understand that too.

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The Survey Corps had come back from a horrible expedition, more then half of them had failed to make it back alive The crowd of civilians had thrown trash at the rest of them, cursing them out as they sadly trudged back to headquarters.

Erwin had come to you at night, drunk. He had brought a bottle of alcohol with him, drinking and ranting. His words slurred in between, but you could make out what he was saying anyways.

How he wished the higher ups would hear him out more, how much he hated sacrificing his comrades. How he couldn't sleep at night, haunted by the dead faces of his friends.

You could only pat his back to comfort him, he had rejected any hot beverage you had offered him, preferring to just drink his sorrows away.

Suddenly, Erwin had put the bottle aside and stared at you.

'Is everything oka-'

You gazed directly into his deep, blue eyes. He was in your face, you gulped as you processed his closeness, his lips inches away from yours. You could smell the alcohol he had consumed on his breath. He blinked, looking at you carefully.

It was silent as the two of you stared at each other, neither daring to move or speak.

Your eyes had widened as he leaned in a little, the chains began unravelling against your will.

You had stop to stop this right now-

'M.. Marie?'

.................

Days after the 'drunk incident', you sat on your bed, wrapped up in a warm blanket. You had just finished a book and after setting it aside, were ready to sleep.

Sighing, you tiredly smiled to yourself. You and Erwin were still friends, because that's all you had ever been. His comrades had come looking for him that night and carried him back to the barracks, leaving you in deep thought.

Erwin hadn't remembered what had happened that night, and you were glad about it. It was for the best really, because you didn't want to lose your friendship with him. Erwin was your friend who you sometimes hungout with, and you longed for nothing more regarding him.

The chains you had kept tight around your heart had loosened that night. And, with a new resolve, you had gotten rid of them completely.

You didn't know who, or when, but you would let someone in, you decided to yourself. Someone who would see you as their first choice, who would look at you in a way they had never looked at someone else.

Burning out the candle, you went to sleep with a light heart. You had no idea you would meet that person a month later.

And Levi had no idea that someone could make him feel so much with just one smile

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A/N: Heyooo so this liddol piece of angst got stuck in my head. There's gonna be a part two where where Levi/Reader get together, it'll mostly be fluff, with some angst and drama. Hope y'all liked this! Please review and my asks are always open for requests or questions. :D

#Snk #Aot #Attack on titan #Erwim Smith #Levi ackerman #Reader #Levi x reader #Erwin X reader #Levi aot #Erwin Smith AOT #Fluff #Angst #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman #levi reader #Levi will be happy in this I promise #Erwin will not be happy sorry my bad

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companionship · 3 years

Text

okay one big post to get the finale out of my system! it's been lovely reading all of your analyses and reactions, and looking at all your amazing gifs and edits :')

fair warning: this is going to be so stinking long omfg

the things i enjoyed:

vincenzo remaining an anti-hero through and through, especially the fact that he didn't hold back at all when it came to myunghee and hanseok's death. he gave them a taste of their own medicine and then some forreal, their deaths were brutal but oddly satisfying, and i'm saying this as someone who usually hates violence/gore. throughout the show, they've always hinted at what he was Truly Capable Of and boy did we get to see it

vincenzo fumbling in hanseok's house and not being his usual self – a lot of people thought it was ooc, which i understand! i felt like that was the Point, to show that for once, he's not the invincible mafia consigliere that everyone thinks he is. what he did to the man who killed his mother and the army of security guards was a reaction, but this is the first time he's flustered, caught at a disadvantage, and faced with the very real possibility that he might lose somebody incredibly important to him. idk it made him more human to me

vincenzo literally not hesitating for even 0.1 seconds to fold his entire body around hers when he thought hanseok was going to shoot again – yeah that whole bit made my heart clench i feel like a crazy person i won't get over it

the chayenzo hospital scene... my god it was so tender my heart broke. the laugh they both shared, out of sheer relief that she's okay. the little joke about paying for the private room. the way not much was being said, but everything was being said at once. the way they looked at each other, as if it wouldnt ever be enough :( the quiet acceptance that this is their last night together, and that he's going to have to kill a bunch of people after this, but for now they have this. for however brief.

chayoung being chayoung – her big ass personality at the courtroom at the end after winning ms oh's case. her hopping around in those heels, looking elegant and sleek, mocking the hell out of rich conglomorates. she's in her element again and it made me so, so happy to see. i absolutely adore her, she's everything really. after all that loss and the whole ordeal, i'm glad she's able to return to what she does best: putting capitalists back in their place

mr lee being Very Much Not Dead – idk how i wouldve been able to handle it after witnessing hanseo's death like im glad he got the chance to be a dad

the kiss – my god....

the things i didn't like:

hanseo's death – lmao is it even a surprise... say what you will about his death being foreshadowed, but i really just hated hated it. i hate that hanseok won this one. i hate that hanseo worked so hard to redeem himself, only to lose it all. i hate that he was given a taste of what a real family was like, and then having it taken away so cruelly. even though i said above that i didn't mind that vincenzo was ooc at the mansion, i was still screaming at the screen because there were plenty of opportunities for the situation to be reversed. i don't necessarily blame vincenzo for hanseo's death, but i do wish that they had a funeral scene for him. i wish they acknowledged his sacrifice, and how pivotal he was in turning the tables. if not for hanseo, vincenzo really couldn't have pulled any of this off, from the interpol tipoff to the tracking device in the watch. idc idc hanseo is in malta rn, enjoying the sun and the beach, going to therapy, and teaching the local kids how to play hockey even though there's no ice :(

chayoung being bedridden the whole finale – like... NAH lmao this aint it chief... if things went my way, she wouldve gotten out of the hospital depite her injury and dealt with myunghee before handing her off to vincenzo. i loved their animosity for each other, and i wanted chayoung to be the one at myunghee's apartment waiting for her, rubbing it into her face. i wanted chayoung to verbally finish myunghee with that sharp ass tongue of hers and really dump a load of salt on her wounds. then vincenzo could do whatever the hell he wanted. you could argue that the show is called Vincenzo but i really dont care lmao it started with chayoung avenging her dad and she should've been able to strike the final blow. also what was her big second party? are we really just going to ignore her capacity for evil? after all that moral work done, after that time she spent coming to terms with using evil to combat evil, we're just going to... keep her bedridden? park jaebum u will pay for this

vincenzo losing his family – besides hanseo's death, i think this was what i hated the most from the ending. the start of the show showed us vincenzo's departure from the mafia with the very clear intention of Not Returning. the capo died, his loyalties lie with no one, paolo can suck it. throughout the show, we see him repeat over and over that he wants to get the gold and skip off to malta to enjoy a peaceful life there, while reflecting/repenting for the things he's done. vincenzo was gearing up for a lifetime of solitude. the whole point of the show was for him to find a real family and have a real chance at happiness. park jaebum really said FUCK THAT! we're gonna have him ditch the family that he built from scratch with the love of his life and then make him return to the family that tried to kill him AND make him the capo... pjb said we're gonna separate vincenzo from the family that accepts his past and sees it as a strength and not a weakness. the family that was formed out of solidarity, the family that he fought for and fought alongside with blood, sweat and tears. not to mention the goddaughter of his? sorry i would laugh if it didn't actually rile me up so bad

vincenzo not being able to come back to korea – i've said this in another post of mine, but given that he is The Vincenzo Cassano with all those resources at his disposal (guillotine file, mr ahn/mr cho/the chief etc.), the fact that he isnt even able to stay in korea for 30 fuckin minutes after finishing hanseok was ridiculous. the whole police chase was dumb as hell considering that the show has managed to stop politicians and mf presidential candidates from going after him like ? huh LMAO park jaebum had an on-demand pigeon army in this show and Yet he can't stop like 10 suddenly-righteous policemen. another big ass HUH

chayenzo (here we go...):

NOPE! i've reflected on the ending and decided that i'm going to be petty and salty for a while more before coming to terms with it

i can rationalise and try to be positive and tell myself that their love is enduring can transcend space and time and that in due time, they will find their way back to each other, and i have no doubt that they will because they're one soul in two bodies. it's quite literally canon that they're soulmates.

but let me wallow for a second

here we have two people who have done questionable and terrible things in their past coming together, growing together, grieving together, fighting together... you get the gist of it. you have two people who have found a home in each other. two people who, for all intents and purposes, were about to live in a whole lot of bitterness and solitude if not for each other and the life they built together (chayoung didn't have friends like that, and her family is gone too). to separate them like that at the very end is cruel. i know chayoung and vincenzo are mature and incredible and will be able to function without the other next to them. i know that they will still excel as lawyers and will defeat evil with their underhand methods the way they do so well but my god are they going to feel the absence and miss each other

my point is that they shouldn't have to. from what i could tell, they can't even communicate on a regular basis bc he'll be tracked and whatnot, hence the postcards. a postcard every month is a poor substitute for all those nights they stayed up drinking makgeolli and celebrating their wins. its a shitty replacement for coffee dates and fist bumps and all the moments in between. after everything they've been through, after literally fighting to death for their family, they don't deserve this. they don't deserve to meet up once a year for a couple of hours. they don't deserve pockets of time in malta or korea, their life in a perpetual countdown to when they're going to see each other next

they both deserve love and some semblance of peace (finally finally). they both deserve to have someone to come home to after a hard day of work, because doing what they do cannot be easy. they both deserve a family, deserve to have someone next to them that accepts their past and would embrace their future. they both deserve a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. i know they will still be It for each other despite the distance, i just wish the distance didn't even exist in the first place bc its stupid and cruel and their love shouldnt have to be proven or tested with time and space. let them stay together. let them grow together. let them be.

side note: song joongki and jeon yeobeen need another project together idc take it up with god

tl;dr: park jaebum u will be paying for my therapy bills

#vincenzo #tvn vincenzo #this was cathartic #if u made it to the end here's ur kiss #this is more for archival purposes than anything #also this is what happens when my best friends arent caught up yet and i have no outlet

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lemonietrinket · 4 years

Text

cradle ||| mingi x reader

genre: big time fluff warning(s): one count of foul language (1x s**t) word count: 895 an: sorry anon for the wait! i really hope this was worth it! ill admit i dont feel like it is, bc its so short but i tried my best, and yall know i love my bub mingi so i always love writing for him :))

~~~

the room was bright, lit with the fiery hues of the setting sun and scattered by the glass lampshade. but with your back to the window you didn’t care for its show, you were much more keen on the sight before you.

mingi had long fallen asleep in your embrace, his sunny smile long softened into the pout he always wore while he slept. he was nestled into your side, half on top of you, half upon the cushions, while his head rested by yours on the arm of the sofa. his position meant you could feel the rise and fall of his breath at your stomach, his deep exhales falling in opposing synchrony with your own awake ones. though in the cocoon of warmth you had made for yourselves you could feel yourself sinking in to join him.

you smiled dozily at the beauty of his face cast in gold as the hand you ran soothingly up and down his back began to slow. he seemed so peaceful, brows no longer furrowed, shining eyes no longer edged in pain like they had been before the two of you had entwined yourselves together. the fact that you had brought him comfort, even if it was only temporary, calmed you too and it was partially the reason why you hadn’t stopped. you winced drowsily at the thought of his pain. you wished he didn’t have to suffer, you hated it when you could see the energy falter in his step.

your boyfriend shifted in his sleep, the arms that he had slung around you holding you tighter while he mumbled something. you didn’t catch it, but the way he leant his nose against your temple was enough to make you smile once again.

“my gorgeous boy,” you whispered, planting a kiss upon his cheek before letting your eyes fall closed at last, “sleep well.”

as you dozed off all you could think of was how he smelt of home, and how soft his lips were when they brushed your skin as he nuzzled closer once again. reaching the teetering point of slipping into sleep, your hand gradually stilled as you relaxed into the warmth that enveloped you, only to flinch as the door opened with a crash.

feeling your heart pick up and the hazy sensation retreat from your limbs, you protectively held mingi by the small of his back, eyes fluttering open.

it wasn’t until you heard the characteristic cackle of wooyoung that you breathed a sigh of relief, the slightly irrational fear dissipating from your chest. with a sigh, you checked that mingi was still asleep to find that thankfully he hadn’t stirred at all, before at last allowing yourself to try and relax again. much too interested in napping to deal with the others you closed your eyes and hid your smile behind your boyfriend’s broad shoulder, hoping that it would encourage the others to keep it down.

and despite their occasionally chaotic energy, it worked like a charm.

first wooyoung’s laughter entered the room, and then it tapered off. a small gasp followed, though you weren’t entirely sure who it belonged to. after came a couple of tiptoed footsteps and the uncanny feeling of being watched, and finally san spoke up.

“are they asleep?”

“out like lights,” wooyoung replied from surprisingly close.

it was at that moment that the light streaming from the doorway across your eyelids dimmed.

“what’s out?” it was seonghwa, speaking in the tone he always used when he felt he was missing out on something funny.

“shh!!”

“i swear if you ruin this beautiful moment—”

“what’s going on?”

at last, a voice of reason.

“y/n and mingi are snuggling on the couch!”

you swore you heard yunho coo from the next room.

hongjoong sighed. “well come away from them! you’re going to ruin the moment!”

“but—!”

with your patience wearing slightly thin, you decided to offer hongjoong some support. grumbling, you nuzzled your head closer into your boyfriend’s neck, instantaneously ushering the entire living room into urgent silence.

“see?” hongjoong iterated, voice much lower this time, “you’re going to wake them, come on.”

it was like you were in the wings at a theatre when the lights went down for a scene change. you could hear the flurry of footsteps that was seven men scurrying out of the room despite their other wishes, overlaid by the whispered instructions made by the leader himself, dictating where they needed to go to leave the two of you in peace. however, even as the noise resided you were able to tell by the shadow that remained that someone hadn’t left. their steps were much lighter and you were barely able to catch them over even the sounds of distant traffic as they drew closer.

the shadow leant over the back of the sofa for a few moments in dead silence, when suddenly came a click.

“shit.”

hurriedly turning down the volume on his phone despite it being too little too late, hongjoong fled the living room with his newfound photo—or was it blackmail.

once you were certain they were all gone, you shook your head and pressed a kiss to mingi’s shoulder, too tired to move any further.

“i’ll deal with them later, bubs,” you said, a tiny smile on your lips, before you finally felt yourself drift off into sleep.

~~~

an: it literally takes me so long to write nowadays :(( like i used to be able to write 1.3k words in the time it took me to write all of this :(((

also not a fan of the ending but oh well

i really need that break

masterlist

#mingi #mingi ateez #ateez #mingi x reader #ateez x reader #mingi fluff #ateez fluff #mingi x reader fluff #ateez x reader fluff #mingi drabble #ateez drabbles #mingi drabbles fluff #ateez drabbles fluff

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dumbthotastrology · 5 years

Text

a dumb thots guide to moon signs

omg i have been gone for so long uhhhh just flaky gemini things. anyways hey girlies so today were gonna talk about your moon signs. the specifics of what each moon sign has in store, and about moon signs in general.

about moon signs:

while a sun sign can be an overall idea of your personality and overall self, a moon sign is what rules your inner-self and your emotions. It creates your needs and wants, and makes the base for your subconscious and your soul. your moon sign can also describe how you respond to crisis basically your moon sign explains why y'all are so fucked up.

your moon sign also can tell who you’re compatible with emotionally. although compatibility is a mix of other planets and other non-astrological factors, your moon sign is a huge component of the way you think and process things, which is generally a huge part of compatibility and intellectual attraction. oooh, big words.

also, like what i said in my previous post “a dumb thots guide to the planets” some people relate to their moon sign waaaay more than their sun sign, probably because there are less stereotypes and stigmas around moon signs. if you’re naturally a very emotional, intuitive, or dark person you might feel more attracted to your moon sign because your feelings and emotions are a large part of your thought-process.

so children, let's get into each moon sign and what they mean

aries moon: we stan most aries, so we also stan aries moons. these folks tell it how it is and aren’t afraid to speak their mind. aries moons are bold and enthusiastic with their life choices. they’re optimistic, even through tough times. they know what they want all the time, but y'all aries moons don’t know the difference between needs and wants because of your intensity in regards to passion and desire. they can be moody and temperamental if they don’t get what they want or life is going rough for them. In life, it's hard to create a balance because they go through plenty of ups and downs constantly. they might feel destructive towards other people or even towards themselves. aries moons are naturally dominant, so let's all embrace our little baby lunar christian greys.

taurus moon: okay so let's talk about our babies with taurus moons. the main traits of a moon sign in taurus is that they crave stability, reliability, and comfort. people with taurus moons tend to stay away from sketchy or messy situations because they’re not super adaptable to change. they take pride in their emotional stability and use it as their driving force (and they usually take charge anyway.) those with moons in taurus can be stubborn and selfish at times, and can get stuck in routines although that's not the end of the world for them. if you have a sun or moon (or just have a lot of taurus in your chart) you can suffer from taurus-style depression at times, which makes the person very lazy, tired, and tend to overeat or do a lotttt of retail therapy. but on the brighter side, if you’re in a relationship with them, they are more committed, helllllaaa sensual (get itttt), loyal, and you won’t expect a break up for a longggg time

gemini moon: (geminis, i love you and i support you) those with moons in gemini are charming and witty, just like the gemini sun signs. they are social butterflies and like to organize or make plans frequently otherwise they’ll get fussy. they're great communicators and get along with a lot of people, but since gemini moons are such people pleasers, they might get too involved with the opinions and emotions of other people and tend to ignore their own feelings or purpose. deep shit. restlessness is common in lunar geminis because they always need to be stimulated with something (talking, reading, watching tv, etc.) also nervousness and moodiness can be a problem in these people, leading to frustration and being snappy. but overall, we love you geminis.

cancer moon: cancer moons are little babies, in a good way. they’re extremely sensitive, intuitive, and they feel so damn much. our cancer moon girlies make incredible friends and parents, however be a bit cautious around them. since they feel so much, they can be defensive, moody, or more upset than normal when they’re hurt or unhappy. if you hurt cancer moons, good luck bud. they tend to close off or shut down when hurt, and take a while to heal. along with this, they hold grudges for a long time, and tend to keep their guard up if they somehow forgive you. just don't be playin with their feelings… don't do it. To heal and regroup, cancer moons like to stick with what they know and what they’re comfortable with, and many can be homebodied. these people have a lively imagination and are extremely intuitive, leading to possible psychic abilities or intentions. these people also tend to be natural empaths, which can lead to feeling emotionally bogged down from other people depending on you, but being an empath is a good thing because it shows your loyalty and compassion. love u.

leo moon: leo moons are our fun friends that have been by our side for years. these girlies are self confident, creative, and has an inspiring and extroverted energy. leo moons know their se;f worth, and won’t put up with anything less. they can be dominant at times, but their motivation for this dominance is generally respect. their feelings are intense and they don’t mess around when it comes to their ambitions and desires. a downside of leo moons though, is that they are super extra. some can see you as over the top or loud, and at times this can make you feel misunderstood. you may seem to be an attention whore sometimes, but through your passion and loyalty those close to you know that your intentions are good. keep bein your extra ass selves, leo moons. we love you.

virgo moon: those with virgo moons can be a little tricky to understand, but there are definitely some pros, you guys aren't all fucked up. lunar virgos really stan their routine, which make them naturally self-disciplined so they don't fall out of that routine. they tend to like exercising, self care, and love to develop new hobbies. they also love to help others, and you'll find that lunar virgos are wholesome, loyal, and sensitive in the best way possible. their routine is a need for them, and if they don’t have it they can get high-strung and aggravated. they can also get finicky and specific about how things go in their lives, which isn’t always a bad thing. if lunar virgos suffer from trauma or rough-patches, they might try to bottle their emotions up which will manifest later on in life. similar to lunar scorpios, virgo moons might experience issues with digestion due to their emotional stresses. some have described that those with virgo moons might have eating disorders due to nervous system or psychological factors. these people might also have controlling fears or issues, so as i said these people can be a little fucked up but their gigantic hearts and self determination make up for it and help them get through it. (and aren't we all a little fucked up out here?)

libra moon: lunar libras (ugh doesn't that sound so pretty?) are just beautiful little babies. they have a natural artsy and peaceful personality that draws you into them. they’re amazing at communicating and socializing, and one of their main goals seem to be pleasing people in all aspects. libra moons are amazing partners, and they often search for a partner due to the fact that they strongly dislike being without a significant other. it makes them feel out of balance and lonely at times. they seem to steady themselves based on the way others depend on them and their relationships, but this can lead to distress if tensions exist within an important relationship in their lives. the dark side of lunar libras isn’t as scary as others think, but can become an issue if taken out of hand. they might become dependent on others and their significant other which can, in turn, hurt them in the long run from a loneliness or longing after a break in the path. ooh, poetic.

scorpio moon: scorpio moons dont fuck around. (i have a scorpio moon, so be scared bitch.) to be frank, scorpio moons are intense and emotional. they have a higher understanding of the human thought process and can be deeply connected to emotions and vibes. these people are affected not only by their own emotions, but from others emotions as well. they pick up on certain situations because of the energy radiating off of it, making them helllllaaaa intuitive. lunar scorpios are INTENSE when it comes to love, and might be afraid of committing if they’ve been hurt in the past. they have a strong emotional need for drama or frequent change, and if they dont express their feleings they could even get physically sick (ive personally experienced a lot of stomach issues and nausea.) scorpio moons are defensive when it comes to love (even if they crave it) because they have a fear of betrayal or being hurt. through all of these intense shit though, they’re ambitious, sensual (!!!), creative, and committed. we been knew.

sagittarius moon: sagittarius moons are our party people. they’re fun, sociable, and extroverted. they love meeting new people and doing new things, it makes them thrive. they like to go through life with an easygoing nature, and generally aren't super negative. sometimes they’re even overly optimistic, and get their hopes up way too much which in the end will crush them if something goes poorly. when life isn't in their favor or things don't go their way, they get tf out of the situation or try to physically escape. they want to feel balanced at all times. to other people (especially more home-bodied signs) see sag moons as intimidating or annoying, but sag moons are very easy to get along with and will get along with almost anybody. basically, lunar sags are that one friend that you can never stay mad at, and want to hang out with all the time. we really do stan.

capricorn moon: our capricorn moon are our little home bodied babies. we love you. the underlying theme of most lunar capricorns is that they’re steady and reliable, and like to keep themselves that way. they like to surround their lifestyle around goal-setting, and have soooo freakin much ambition and determination. at some points, capricorn moons might start getting a little too obsessed with their goals, like girlies please calm down every once in a while. they want to better themselves all the time, and that can lead to isolation or feelings of loneliness. lunar capricorns have emotions that are a bit more logical and darker than some, and that makes them a bit more emotionally closed off because they don't want to kill the vibe or share what's on their mind if its not important. they seem cold to others because they like to make themselves seem put together allllll the time. like seriously. overall, all these kittygirls want is to be in control and to have structure, and we’ll let you have it, since you mainly aren’t that problematic.

aquarius moon: so our little aquarius moons are kinda weird in nature, but SO bright and independent, which a lot of us admire. lunar aquarians care a lot about what others think, so they try to bury any negative emotions (like pettiness or jealousy) so they don't seem unattractive. because of this, they might seem closed off, but most times you’ll receive more of an emotional connection once you get to know them. they are very receptive to others emotions and frequencies, and ponder the meaning of life and the universe as they feed on deeper and darker emotions. often times, they emotionally detach themselves from others and tend to feel lonely. they’re natural loners, but on the bright side they don't let their loneliness get in the way of their overarching purpose (for the most part.) the odd thing is, they take in so much energy and emotion from other, and some may call that an empath, but to others they might seem like they lack compassion because they emotionally shut off. we love them anyways though, because lunar aquarians are amazing friends and give people lots of independence and space to be themselves, and they expect the same.

pisces moon: our lunar pisceans (google told me that term) are dreamy and imaginative girlies. they’re SO empathetic and love to connect with others, and that makes many people confide and take comfort in them. they might become so involved in others (they especially root for the underdog and those less fortunate) that they lose track of themselves. if people take advantage of pisces moons’ empathy, the pisces moon will learn quickly and bounce back. their huge and accepting heart makes them amazing partners and friends because they’ll cherish you. (and y'all BETTER cherish them too i swear to god.) the downside to lunar pisceans though, is that they involve themselves in others so much that they become overloaded with emotion that they might feel numb or become spaced out. a supppperrr common thing in a pisces moon is zoning out to give their brain a break. pisces moons need time to recharge and step back to breathe. hey, we get it. life can be stressful af sometimes, especially for someone who feels everything.

the next dumb thots guide will be a dumb thots guide to the elements of astrology. (hopefully it wont take five billion years) bettttttt

-vi (gemini sun, scorpio moon, gemini rising) posted 6/15/19

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no-error · 6 years

Text

How about some klance smut?

!This is pure smut!

If you dont like just ignore this :)

Space

(don't) hold my breath

Keith finds out a very important skill that Lance has: that he can hold his breath for a long time. He adds it to the list of reasons he’s pining after Lance—his right hand man, his teammate, his friend.

See also: sad desert boy falls hopelessly in love with self-proclaimed mermaid boy with a heart of gold. Watch these two oblivious idiots find their home in each other.

8,658 words AO3

Lucky Habits

Lance has a habit of licking his lips before he takes particularly difficult shots with his blaster.

Keith has begun to notice said habit and it's slowly driving him mad.

Thankfully, Lance isn't as oblivious as he seems.

9,485 words AO3

Hopelessly Devoted

“There he is,” Lance grinned, wide enough to break the kiss. He looked so damned satisfied, already. “There's my boy.”

4916 words AO3

Take Me, I'm Yours

An unfortunate coincidence leads to Keith hiding in a closet, while Lance gets it on with an alien woman outside. It changes everything.

Keith can't erase the sight from his mind. He can't sleep, he can't fight. He can't control himself.

There is nothing he can do except swallow his pride and ask Lance for a favor.

He should have known he would have to beg for it.

6,732 words AO3

Pix Or It Didn't Happen

Giving a whole new meaning to team bonding, Allura and Lance jointly plan a photography (read selfie) contest. Allura's contribution? Put the paladins in pairs for picture taking. Even before the teams were 'randomly' selected, Keith could have told you who he'd end up paired with. It goes about as well as could be expected.

14,690 words AO3

Boys Will Be Boys

There’s blood in his mouth, blood dripping from his nose, blood in his hair from where Keith fucking scratched him, blood boiling in his veins and clouding his vision with red. There’s too much blood for a friendly sparring session, that’s for sure.

This isn’t a friendly sparring session, not anymore.

6,736 words AO3

I just wanna make love to you

Both Paladin and Blade stood in silence for almost a full minute, staring at each other with indiscernible expressions (or at least Lance thinks the latter is, can’t really tell with the identity protecting mask adorning their face.)

Before he can stop himself, he opens his mouth with a smirk curling at his lips.

“You come here often?” Lance asks, tilting his head coyly.

26,736 words AO3

Research Purposes

In retrospect, Lance knew he was overreacting. Thinking about it just a little too hard. He just didn't consider Keith would ever be- Nah, actually, he wasn't that surprised... Did that mean Keith had totally been checking him out? Did he think he was hot? Would dudes be into him? What was it like to mess around with dudes? Was Keith experienced with that sort of thing? He just needed to know. For... science?

(In which Keith mentions something that reveals he's gay, Lance is excessively shocked, and everyone else already knew because it wasn't even a secret. In short, Lance is an oblivious idiot and finally accepts his bisexuality.)

10796 words AO3

You Always Say the Stupidest Shit

"I know what your problem is," Lance interrupts, pointing a finger at him and smirking as though he's just personally discovered the deepest secret of the universe. God only knows why Keith stops talking then, but in hindsight, he wishes he'd have just gotten louder.

"You need to get laid," Lance announces.

13,370 words AO3

The Royal Treatment (Altean Lance/Galra Keith!)

“You’ve met me, congratulations,” Keith said shortly.

“Now go meet someone else.

”“Ouch,” he said. “And that’s not true; I don’t even know your name yet!”Keith wrinkled his nose. Maybe telling this irksome creature his title would scare him off. “I am Lord Kethyr, second son of Emperor Zarkon,” he retorted.

“Satisfied now?”

The Altean, unfortunately, was not deterred in the slightest by this. “Ooh, a royal? How exciting. I’m Lance.”

11,998 words AO3

Modern

Don't Break Connection, Baby

(Series not completed 50,615 words 3 works)

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet goofball continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him...at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.

38,721 words AO3

Will you sing to the Beat of my Heart?

(Musician!Keith Verse not completed 10,132 words 2 works)

Keith is a musician sometimes playing in the park Lance walks through every day. Lance falls in love—both with the music, and Keith. Keith, meanwhile, can't help but notice the cutie in the crowd. Both think there is no chance to get to know each other—but fate has a different plan.

8,833 words AO3

Of Tinted Windows and Fancy Leather Seats

Drive Me Crazy Series not completed 9,345 words 2 works

"One last question, Keith. Do you want me to fuck you? If you say no, then I’ll leave you alone. You can also punch me if you want. But if you say yes, my car is here. Your pick, Mullet.”

5,964 words AO3

Fuck Buddies With Benefits

“Hey babe,” the blue-eyed male in Keith’s doorway drawls, leaning his weight on one arm and smirking down at Keith from the irritating two-inch height difference between them. The guy likes taking advantage of it while he can, before Keith shoves him onto the bed and is the one looking down for once.

Keith rolls his eyes and steps aside to let Lance into his dorm room, locking the door behind them in case Shiro stops by to check on him. Shiro would likely not be impressed by Keith’s self-care methods if he found his baby cousin in bed with some guy he met at the bar, a blank document still waiting to be filled on his laptop screen.

19,183 words AO3

The Patrulian Zone

Lance logs in to Oriande, the dating app known for easy hook ups with no strings attached. Finding Keith, he gets exactly what he signed up for.

So how come suddenly, it doesn't feel like enough?

17,498 words AO3

technologic

In which Lance sends Keith an accidental snapchat that somehow leads to them becoming sexting buddies.

5193 words AO3

A/B/O

Want (Want Series completed 83,799 words 4 works)

Lance makes the decision to sell himself for the sake of his family. The only problem is that no ones seems to want him. When Shiro buys Lance for his alpha little brother, the omega can't believe his luck.

But does Keith even want anything to do with his new gift or is Lance destined to be an unwanted omega forever?

24,695 AO3

In the heat of the moment

Lance runs out of suppressants and is outed as an Omega. Keith wants to be his alpha. So much angst, sugar sweetness, more angst, gotta have a baby, and all the lovins. Plus there's Shatt! What's not to love. Please don't get too wrapped up in timelines, dynamics, or the lack of season 4. This is fiction.

25,037 words AO3

The Lion's Pride

When Pidge confesses to being a female alpha and not a male one, the team realizes that she's not the only one hiding something. They realize Lance isn't the alpha he's posing as but actually an omega.

As with Pidge, they want to give Lance the time he needs to come clean on his own. But the team agrees to do their best to make Lance feel comfortable, considering how highly valued omegas are in packs.

Two team/pack-members especially find this new realization fascinating. Keith and Shiro want Lance to be their own omega. But can they handle the secret Lance is hiding, the one that made him cover up his status to begin with...?

30,822 woords AO3

Practically Strangers

(Practically Everything Series not completed, 8,117 words 2 works)

Lance was, in all aspects, an omega. He had accepted this part of him long ago, even embraced it. Keith was, in all forms of the word, an alpha. He was also pretty much a stranger, but Lance was willing to ignore that fact in favor of, um, other things.

4,768 words AO3

Your Sex I Can Smell

Lance was in hell… or heaven depending on your outlook. But for him it was currently hell. He’d not been expecting to go into heat, ever. Heat was an Omega thing and as far as he knew 99.9% of Omegas were chicks.

He thought he’d just be another Beta, he’d given up hopes of becoming an Alpha when he still hadn’t presented by seventeen. But to be this late… to be twenty one and only just developing it was… humiliating. And as an Omega at that. But he had a plan. He could just... disguise it. Hide his scent.

Which was great. Except now Keith was almost impossible to get near, to tease and banter and basically annoy just to get a rise out of him. Lance missed seeing his face, missed his scent. His schoolboy crush had developed into something strangely immature for a twenty one year old but potent nonetheless. But Keith wouldn't give him the time of day. At least, not until a project forced them to work together.

25,747 words AO3

What Else Could a Virgin Omega Do?

Lance was standing where he never thought he'd be standing, in line at the front desk of the nearest Alpha Brothel.

13,831 words AO3

Don't Forget Your Vitamins

(series not completed 13,221 words 2 works)

Lance is an omega. Keith is a beta. This was something Lance had made peace with and determined that there was no way they could ever work. No matter how much he would like it to. Saving the universe and all that didn’t leave a whole lot of time to pursue such a complicated relationship.

However, when Keith finally starts getting the food and nutrition his hybrid body needs he is finally revealed to be an alpha. As he struggles with his new presentation, Lance tries his best to be there for him and support him. But it's difficult when the guy you love is now totally capable of giving you the best sex of your life.

11,406 words AO3

Fuck self control (but really, don't.)

Lance hadn't presented by the time they got into space, leaving him vulnerable. Everything is fine until Keith's rut, and then it isn't

8,003 words AO3

Omegaverse Series

Suddenly all Keith can hear is Hunk’s voice yelling over the com.

“Keith! You have to get out of there. Now!”

Keith wants to ask what’s wrong, but then the smell hits him.

The sickly sweet, and unmistakable smell of an omega in heat.

He whips around and sees Lance, standing a few feet back, bracing himself against the wall. His face is flushed, and he’s breathing heavy.

“I … I don’t feel so good.”

22,606 words 3 works AO3

kiss like it's poisonous series (not completed)

A collection of all my fics that belong to this omegaverse au. It's basically just Keith and Lance being idiots and dancing around each other for like a span of five years, and you will all get the pleasure of reading it.

43,504 words 3 works AO3

You All Over My Skin, I'm Anxious

The worst part of it though, was that Keith was an alpha. A stupid, hotheaded alpha that Lance couldn’t help but get in petty arguments with like they had been married for fifty years. Keith, with his stupid mullet and how stupidly good he was at hand to hand combat and how stupidly hot he sounded when training. Lance would have gotten on his knees for him in seconds if he only asked. But an alpha needed an omega, and Lance was just a stupid beta.

5,898 words AO3

#klance #fanfic #fanfic list #smut #lance mcclain #keith kogane #voltron #vld #my list

1K notes · View notes

justjen523 · 6 years

Text

Make Me Forget

Ichthys x MC

(Rating E 18+)

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. The pain felt like a thousand needles in my heart as I raced down the hallway tears spilling from my eyes. I really loved him and thought he felt the same way. How many times had he told me so with such love in his eyes? Had all of it been a lie? Was he playing me all along? We had been together for nearly six months and hearing his words replaying over and over in my mind felt like a cruel joke.

'I must admit Teo, I never expected you to settle for a goldfish. She must be pretty great in the sack.'

'Pfft are you kidding me? She still hasn't let me go past second base.'

'Oh-ho? And you still waste your time with her?'

'Geeze Leon, you just don't get it do you? It's all about the game.'

'Pffft, sounds like a lot of work for a whole lot of nothing. Why bother when you are constantly knee deep in noble goddesses every time you set foot in the Heavens?'

'It's too easy with them. They only want one thing. Goldie actually cares about me and even told me she loves me.'

'Dont tell me you said it back to her.'

'Of course I did. She ate up every single line like candy. It was too easy.'

'But you don't actually love her do you?'

'Ahaha that's a good one. Me love just one woman? Are you outta your mind?'

'Then tell me what good will come of all this? You're just gonna break her heart and make her cry. These weak goldfish put too much stock in their ideas of romance and fantasies.'

'Yeah maybe but I bet she's super cute when she cries. I'll just string her along like I do with all my women and she can be my very own special Goldie toy.'

I couldn't bear to stick around any longer after hearing that. The shock at how coldly and cruelly he said those words made me instantly nauseaus so I took off running. He had no idea I even heard what the two of them were saying as I stood outside the door ready to knock. I had popped over to surprise him with his favorite, homemade milk cookies, but after hearing all that I threw them in anger as I made my hasty escape.

The tears were overflowing as I tried desperately to reach the front door but it was no use, I was practically hyperventilating from sobbing uncontrollably. I needed to gain composure first so I made my way down the Punishments hallway desperately trying to put as much distance as possible between myself and any Wishes gods.

Thankfully since it was already evening no one would be using the reflecting pool so I made my way there as quickly as possible.

Rounding the corner I quickly flung open the door hoping none of the Punishments gods would see me. As soon as I made it inside I quickly shut the door behind me and rested a minute trying to catch my breath. As soon as I did the overwhelming pain once again consumed me and I fell to my knees clutching my hands to my chest sobbing uncontrollably.

Completely lost in my grief I failed to notice that this entire time I had not been alone.

"Woah what's up? You okay?" Upon hearing his voice I nearly jumped out of my skin before spinning around and scrambling to my feet.

"I-Ichthys! W-What are you doing here?" As soon as he saw my face his eyes went wide.

"Working late but nevermind that, what happened?" Ichthys' uncharacteristically serious expression only served to once again remind me of what a fool I'd been. Goldfish had no business in the realm of the gods, a fact I learned the hard way.

"I-Im so sorry to interrupt, please forget you even saw me. I'm gonna go-" As I hastily tried to make my exit a cool hand grabbed my sweaty palm pulling me back before turning me around to face him.

"Unh Unh. You can't possibly believe I'd let you go after seeing you like this. What happened?" The genuine concern in his eyes did nothing to stem the river of tears flowing down my puffy red cheeks.

"I...*hic*" Unable to get anything intelligeble out I once again break down and this time willingly accept his gesture of kindness allowing him to embrace me. Though he is obviously worried he doesn't press me any further and just holds me gently stroking my hair as I cry.

After the initial overload I slowly started to calm down. For whatever reason being held this way by the god of Pisces is oddly peaceful and comforting. Not the words that usually come to mind when describing Ichthys. However, tonight he is everything I need at the moment and I am grateful for it. Feeling nearly exhausted after balling my eyes out, trying to process and mend a broken heart, my eyes feel extremely heavy. Ichthys smells so good and though his hands are cool to the touch his body is warm making me nod off still nestled comfortably in his kind embrace.

*********

As my eyes slowly open I am greeted by a pair of soft grey troubled one's. His cool hand rests upon my forehead, his eyebrows upturned in distress.

"Where... I"

"Shhhhh. Don't speak, just rest. You're safe. You collapsed so I brought you back to my room. I was just about to go get Teo-"

"NO! God please no! D-Don't..I.... never wanna see his cruel face again!" Instantly in tears again Ichthys' eyes go wide upon hearing my words before his expression turns pained and then dark. Without having to even say a word I can see his thought process as he finally pieces it all together.

"What happened?" The way he's looking at me right now with such compassion is more than I can bear. I don't even realize what I'm doing until it's too late.

My lips eagerly claim his as I grab the sides of his face pulling him on top of me. Too shocked and stunned in disbelief he doesn't immediately pull away as it hasn't fully registered what I am doing to him yet. It isn't till he starts to kiss me back that he stops himself and pulls away.

"Woah wait a sec! I...can't! I mean, you're Teo's girl and-"

"No, I'm not. Not anymore."

"Okaaay buuuut, you guys obviously just broke up or whatever and this is... probably a really bad idea." Unable to handle any more rejection I suddenly feel very determined to get whatever I want at this moment and right now that happens to be Ichthys.

"It hurts Ichthys. It hurts so bad I can't stand it. Please, I beg you, make me forget. Even if it's just for tonight." I feel guilty watching how conflicted he looks as he is debating what to do next, but I'm surprised when he wipes the tears from the corner of my eyes away.

"A-Are you sure this is what you want? I mean if you're looking for a one night stand the other guys are probably way better than-" I cut him off by kissing him deeply once again only this time he stops hesitating and fully gives in.

His kiss tastes sweet and is intoxicating. Seeing this more mature side of Ichthys is turning me on immensely and I wrap my legs around his waist pressing our bodies together tightly hoping to feel his arousal. He doesn't disappoint. Though obviously excited I can tell he's still worried and starts holding back.

"Ikky it's okay. I want this. I want you. You're being an amazing and great friend by being here for me when I need you most. So please, don't hesitate. Stop worrying." He stops a moment to look at me as if he's pondering something.

"Touch me. I want to feel your hands all over my body. Make love to me Ichthys, I want to feel you inside of me." I mean every word. I never got this far with Teorus because I wanted it to be special and at the "right time." That's no longer the case. I just want to be swept up in a real man's passion. One who has a good heart and actually gives a fuck about me like Ichthys. He's far more worthy than someone like Teo could ever be.

We stare into each other's eyes a moment before he claims my mouth hungrily letting his carnal desires take over. His hands roam all over teasing and caressing my skin making me so wet it's nearly uncomfortable. When his hand finally snakes it's way down my pants and between my legs I quiver at how good it feels.

"Mm...yeah... more Ikky. More.. please." In one swift motion he rips all of the clothing from my body. Staring down at me with lustful eyes I spread my legs wide for him which is his undoing. There's no turning back anymore. He snaps his fingers and his perfect nakedness hovers over me leaving me desperate for more. He's beautiful. Perfect and carved like a marble statue. My hand travels south massaging myself to ease some of the tension building inside of me.

There's no need for foreplay tonight. His hardness slides into me with ease making me hungry for more. We start off slowly, moving together as his hips rock against mine. The weight of our bodies coupled with the way we move causes his bed to creak and groan below us.

"Mmm..yeah. Oh god yes Ikky, you feel SO good." Wrapping my legs around him I grind my hips against his trying to increase our momentum and friction further still. Sensing my desperation he begins thrusting harder, deeper and faster. Burying his face in my neck as we deliciously grind our bodies together it doesn't take long before we are both about to climax.

"I want to see your face as you cum, I bet you are even more beautiful" I whisper in his ear. He kisses me deeply now fucking me hard as the sounds of our bodies coming together over and over echo off the walls.

"Mm...yeah...right there, don't stop! I'm so close!" I can hear him practically growl in response with such a deep low voice as his cock throbs inside of me. When I dig my nails into his back I push him over the edge causing his orgasm to spill out deep inside of me. With his sexy bedroom voice in my ear just hearing the sounds escaping him as he fills me with his cum is more than enough to cause mine to rush forth. Screaming his name and clutching onto him for dear life I ride it out blissfully lost in nothing other than how good I feel at this moment.

Ichthys collapses on top of me as he catches his breath and I contentedly stroke my fingers through his hair. Lost in the afterglow, our bodies lovingly entwined we have no idea that on the other side of the partially ajar door, a dumbfounded and speechless Teorus stares on in bewilderment.

#scm #star crossed myth #scm fanfic #scm smut #scm teorus #scm ichthys

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justagirlwritingherlilheartout · 7 years

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Happy anniversary (Chibs-Sons of Anarchy)

Request 1: One year anniversary with chibs please? Fluffy and smut if u want 😘😘

Request 2: chibs smut

Request 3: Sensual chibs smut

So i decided to mix this 3 requests together as they were very similar. I hope you like the little twist i put on the imagine. (Smut)

''Happy anniversary Fillip.'' I smiled walking up to my old man and wrapping my arms around his neck before stepping on my tip toes and pressing a kiss on his lips.

''Happy anniversary, Mo ghaol.'' He smiled down at me, using my favourite nickname, which in Scottish meant my love.

''I know you aren't big on celebrating this kind of thing, so don't worry I'm not expecting anything, but I am planing to make us both a nice dinner so please be home by 7.''

''Anything for you.'' He said kissing my forehead before heading out the door.

Finally finished preparing dinner i sat down at the table and poured myself a glass of whine, proud of how the dinner turned out. I was never the one to stay home and be a house wife but now and again i enjoyed taking a day off to just make a nice dinner and relax. And since it was summer and the school was out i had vacation, which was nice. I love teaching little kids but it can be overwhelming at times so the summer break is much needed for us all to get a break from one another.

''Hey.'' I smiled as I saw Chibs walk in to the house.

''Hey. Wow. What did you make? It smells heavenly.'' He took off his jacket and sit behind the table as i walked over and sat on the opposite end.

''It was amazing!'' He smiled as he finished the dessert.

''Thanks.''

''So, I have something for you as well.''

''What?'' I was taken back. ''You didn't have to get me anything.''

''But I wanted to.'' He said,reaching in to his jacket and pulling out a peace of paper before giving it to me. ''I know how much you want to go to Paris.''

''You didn't!'' I couldn't help but smile as I saw two plane tickets in my hand.

''I take it you like it?'' I could hear that proud smirk in his voice.

''I love it!'' I jumped up, running around and wrapping my arms around his neck. ''Thank you!''

Next morning we woke up bright and early to catch our plane to France.

''I can't believe I'm here.'' I was speechless as we got off the plane.

''Believe it, Mo ghaol.'' He said throwing his arm around my shoulder as we steeped on a bus. There was about a 2 hour drive to our hotel and it was about 3 AM by the time the bus started driving in the direction of the city of love.

No one really likes bus rides. The buses are usually packed, uncomfortable and there is always a child crying somewhere near you, or a couple arguing about who’s turn it is to do the dishes today, a group of guys calling each other bro or dude for no particular reason…

However I like taking the bus. You can see so many different people, all lost in their own little world. Bus rides are especially nice at night, where there is no one screaming, some people are sleeping, some are listening to music and tapping their fingers to the rhythm of the song that no one but them hears.

It was around 4:30 AM, when Chibs woke up from her little nap.

‘‘Morning.’‘ I smiled. I was never the one to sleep in the car, so the whole bus ride I listened to music and looked out the window at the pretty lights form the unknown beautiful cities we were passing.

‘‘What’s the time?’‘

‘‘About 30 more minutes till we reach our destination.'' I told him, knowing what he really wanted to know. He hated driving in a car let alone a bus.

‘‘Wow we still have a long way to go.’‘ He said, keeping his voice a whisper, careful not to wake up any of the other people on the bus.

‘‘Oh c'mon that's not that long.’‘ I pulled the blanket we shared closer to me. It wasn’t really cold, but it did make me feel cozier to have it over us both.

‘‘Is everyone asleep?’‘

‘‘Yeah seems…well and sounds like it.’‘ I smiled as we heard a snor from somewhere behind us.

‘‘You okay?’‘ He asked as i stretched, rubbing the back of my neck.

‘‘Yeah I’m fine, just a bit stiff.’‘

‘‘Here. Turn around.’‘ Chibs said, making me turn around so I was now facing the window, and my back was pressed against him. Thank god this bus was so spacious.

He started to rub my shoulders, his thumbs pressing against the nape of my neck and his fingers gently pressing against my shoulders. I let out a sigh. It felt so good, so relaxing.

‘’Is this okay?’’

‘’It’s amazing.’’ I whisper back with a smile on my face, my eyes closing.

‘’Oh this is nothing, yet.’’ His voice was low and raspy making me shiver.

‘’Huh?’‘

‘’Just relax.’’ He said and I obeyed. I let his fingers massage down my back, letting myself enjoy the exchange of hard and soft movements of his hands against my back.

Soon his hands made her way under my shirt. Now his fingers were sliding and gliding all over my bare back, no restrictions, no friction. Just skin on skin.

Lost in my thoughts I almost didn’t notice his hands making their way to my stomach and then upward, soon my breasts were cupped by his hands and i held in my breath, not sure what to think of it, we were in a relatively full bus of people.

‘‘Relax, it’s okay.’‘ Filip whispered just as he started kissing the side of my neck.

‘‘We’re on a bus..’‘

‘‘I know. It’s okay. Everyone’s asleep.’‘ He ensured me and I couldn’t help but relax in to His embrace, leaning back against him.

His round hands made their way downward again, one of them slipping under the waist band of my leggings, pushing them down my legs just enough so His hand could now grip my inner thigh, letting his fingers run small circles over them.

After a minute of teasingly letting his fingers drift over the line of my thong and my thighs he pulled my black thong down as well.

With the blanket still somewhat covering me, the excitement of being caught was still at the back of my mind and I let Chibb' fingers spread the wetness of my pussy over my clit, which he slowly started to circle, making me throw my head back, letting it rest on his shoulder.

His free hand gently grabbed my chin, turning my head in His direction. Our lips connected, for which i was thankful. Now, that my mouth was busy kissing his i couldn’t make too much sound, risking us getting caught.

His fingers felt warm against my skin, hot even. His slow and steady movements were driving me insane.

The fact that there were people (most of which none of us knew) less than meter away made it feel dangerous, exciting, better.

I was getting close, i could feel my body tensing up. The quickly approaching climax was so close.. I could almost taste it.

‘’Good morning’’ A loud voice said over the speaker making Filip pull his hand away quickly, and turning me back to my normal position.

I didn’t even knew what happened, I was in such a shock. The lack of skin contact was almost painful and i couldn’t help but to let out a quiet cry.

‘‘Good morning everyone, did you all sleep well?’‘ Te voice over the speaker said again, louder this time. It was followed by a series of yawns and moans of annoyance from everyone woken up by it.

I grumpily let out a sigh and pull up my panties and leggings.

‘‘Aww don’t worry’‘ Chibs whispered, ‘‘We’ll continue this later.’‘ before kissing my shoulder and focusing on the voice coming from the speaker.

Request here!

Masterlist here!

So i wanted to try a first person speaker, i dont know how i feel about it. But i hope you liked this semi fluffy semi smutty imagine :)

#sons of anarchy #one shot #soa chibs #chibs #chibs imagine #chibs fluff #chibs smut #sons of anarchy imagine #soa #soa imagine #sons of anarchy fic #smut #fluff #imagine #fanfic #fan #fanfition

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fortheloveofcringe · 5 years

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n e e d y //

I could go and write something where people would look up to me like a success story. That’s always a way to prove you’re something in the society you live in. It’s the easier choice, to make people feel like there is hope and success at the end of the dark tunnel but then people tend to overlook or push-back, the fact that there are things that happen along the road, they happen at the scariest time and moments in your life and never do these “people” who I have dealt with bother to feel it unless it needs to be felt. It’s like emotion these days has to have an on and off button. That’s scares me a lot, but then these days I’ve been thinking, being scared doesn’t do nothing to me, it just make me fight more, even after so much downfall and rejection.

Rejection, I’m going to touch bases with this one. Something I’ve dealt with my entire life. From my paternal grand parents making me feel like an abomination just because I was gay and no one in the bloodline has to be gay, or to the most fresh wound I have, which marks it’s first month today, me being single, after such a wonderful, scary and inspiring relationship with Timothy.

You know something, perhaps I’m writing this as a formal closure to that chapter in my life because for so long I have been writing about so much sad stuff in the cloud of anger that I just want to get things off my chest differently which is to address this in a way where I’m the monster, and I’m not anymore pointing my fingers to the monsters in my story. I can’t even believe I called myself a monster right just about now.

Anyway, Timothy, if you would read previous entries you might get the idea of a modern day fairy tale relationship. None of my wildest dreams per say. I adored him so much that it just hurt us both, badly. To cut the long story short. He just never needed me the way I needed him. It sucks. To just throw dreams of having a bright future with someone out of the window just because it hurts your eyes and you want to do a reality check but I guess that’s why we have sunglasses, they say it protects the eyes. I never realized some eyeglasses are fake and just do nothing but leave marks on your nose.

Needy. I’m needy. I’ve been crying and going crazy for weeks now. This has been such a wild ride with him that looking back now I just feel like everything we had was just from a book. A Novel, a fictional one. I wish him the best however it just makes me feel a certain way knowing I have suffered more than he did. It’s like all the entire time I believe he had some reservations about us and he knew we are not going to work out and a few puzzle pieces come into my mind to support this claim. One, he never formally introduced me to his family because I think he never wanted them involved when it all crashes down unlike mine where my family had known him and are angry and tears knowing I almost tore my relationships with them just to have Timothy by my side. Two, being with him, despite the care and the love, felt like a love prison, for both of us. What I mean is I felt like he was just faking it to make sure he complied with the “ideal boyfriend” persona he describes himself as because there are moments when he had rolled his eyes at me to the back of his skull thinking “Hambert is not really worth it”. Three, and last, in support of number two, He admitted he wanted someone else. Not me. I’m glad I had so much time to make sure I have figure out the science of persuasion that I figured out a way to make him spill the truth to me and I have to say it was fucked up. Imagine being with a person beside you while his mind is off sucking someone else’s dick. That felt like boiling water in my freshly healed heart. Because I think breaking up is fine, sure some relationships need a time-off, but to know who’s replacing you? that’s just fucked up.

This is where I got really and intensely angry at him that I made sure we really would hate each other after the end because my good side tried to patch things up with him even though it made me look so desperate running through their doors just to give him a movie or something so he wouldn’t be wasting time or whatever, but the bad side of me just wanted to get even so I made sure that I did some stupid things that actually, in the end, bought me peace of mind and of course some insights to process my pain.

I met his the girl he dated before me. Which he just ghosted. I did that to catch his attention which ended up me having blocked by him on social media. My point of meeting this girl, besides my petty brain, was to make sure I erase this picture of him that I painted in my head, which was a handsome prince who picked roses for me every morning just to make sure I don’t dance in stems of thorns. Timothy was such a great man that he also made sure I would feel like nobody would care for me the way he cared. Which was debugged when I and Venus, the ex of my ex, had lunch over spaghetti, taco’s and the dick we both had in our mouths (and by dick we mean by attitude or literally, whichever comes first to your mind) When we talked I realized he has a cruel way of making sure you wouldn’t compare him to anyone. And the way he twisted their story to me, because when we spoke I realized Tim was such a liar he had to make her look thirsty for him and no woman should be painted that way, ever. That conversation I believe healed us both in a way were now, we’re friends and shit-talking about a guy full of shit which basically catered to what I want which was to make sure all of the good pictures in my head was crossed check for what is the actuality of who he was. In that moment me and Venus realized we were both used as a gateway for his lust to a guy named Gwen. I can’t call it love because I’m sure Tim has not have the opportunity to connect with Gwen on a deeper level so fuck fake smiles here, people.

Who I thought was the man, that I’m willing to go through with all the hardships in my life, who would support me, and help me grow, turned to be a complete poser. This was hard for me because I know him in way that not Venus knows and I know very well that he’s a broken soul, but there is no rational reason to justify his pain to be carried over to his present life knowing well that he is old enough to fuck us both, and for him to be running around and break the hearts of people who loves him.

What also bothered me was the fact tat he was just so ready to move on to the next page of his life which was by trajectory, was Gwen, and that he never muttered a word that would have potentially brought us back together. He was just so “Please I need new dick in my mouth I’m bored of you because you’re a pain in the ass”.

Pain in the ass was also one thing that he couldn’t handle. He never wanted anal with me. Now, I don’t know why but I have a strong feeling that would have it been Gwen to offer to top him, I’m sure he’d squat in less than a second. Forgive my bitterness overflowing in each word here, if you’ve been in so much pain, you might understand.

The world isn’t big enough because this Gwen guy is a close friend of my friend Argie. Now long story short Gwen doesn’t do boys, or so he claims. Tim got dumped and now it’s a double whammy for our pretty boy Tim who thinks everyone is gonna drool for him. I hate him though. That Gwen guy, he haven’t done no shit. I can’t like him because he’s the friend of my friend and I know it’s not his fault, but sometimes disliking people just don’t need to be justified, we just feel the way we feel.

I hate knowing he was my replacement just in case he was into boys because he’s manly, skinnier and lanky (as Tim admitted he like those kind of boys, one where he could pose as a pedophile) short, and it makes me more bitter going to work everyday passing their 3-story house making it feel like a slap to me for coming from a poor family. It was like “Hambert, your replacement is a handsome, skinny guy whose rich and that’s what our high maintenance Tim boy wants, bye, you deserve to be left, so sorry but not sorry, go ahead and die.”

Got a chance to talk to him though and I think he’s smart from staying off the dirt because I would drag him in the mud with Tim on top of him so they could finally get to fuck one another for making me and Venus shed tears.

Let me tell you one thing though. And this is fucked up. I still love him.

I still feel his kisses on my lips. His face in my chest. The scent of his hair or his subtle way of putting his nose on my shoulders in the jeep. This is what breaks me to tears like right now. Because knowing I can’t have that anymore. It’s feels like death and I’ve had a fair share of losing people and tragedies from living so poor, not eating to being accused of wrong things, to be bullied in work or having my grandmother die while I’m carrying her to the hospital or maybe even growing up without a father, but I think this has been the greatest pain I’ve dealt with. To be in tears because of love.

And I can go ahead and make stories about how I successfully dodged a bullet. But to be fair, I know that in those nights I spent with with him, the love we shared, I know he’s the love of my life and there could never be anyone. Because now I’m scared to be loved and be in love. I can’t embrace something that broke me.

I’m now employed ans still studying. Things seem fine. I’m walking on a fire pit but I’m still alive.

However if there is one more song we can bond over, just one last, I wish I can sing Ariana’s “Needy” to him. Just to make him understand. How good it feels to be needed.

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