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sansaorgana · 20 days

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— THE GIFT

PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — You were born to be Feyd-Rautha's wife. You arrive to Giedi Prime to get adjusted to the new environment before your wedding. Your betrothed is trying to court you properly... but he only knows The Harkonnen ways of doing so.

REQUEST — (1)

AUTHOR’S NOTE — After a whole month of writing Thrown To The Wolves, I felt weird writing something with Feyd with a different Reader and a different plot. 🙈 But at the same time I was excited to explore a new scenario. 😄

WARNINGS — arranged marriage, blood, death

WORD COUNT — 3,700

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

THE GIFT

Giedi Prime was an unfriendly place – cold and colourless, nearly lifeless as well. The people you were seeing reminded you of machines more than humans. You were terrified as you realised you’d spent the rest of your life there. The Harkonnens were even worse. Rude, harsh, not very talkative. Your future husband had looked you up and down on your first day in a way that turned your blood cold.

You missed home. You missed your family. But you knew it was impossible to ever go back. You could run away – if you somehow managed to bribe the servants to help you – but it was impossible to hide from your destiny. You had been born to be Feyd-Rautha’s wife, and most importantly, to give birth to his child.

You were a daughter of an important Lord, therefore you weren’t opposed to the idea of an arranged marriage. You knew nothing else was waiting for you in this world and no one would ever let you marry a person of your choice. But why was Feyd-Rautha your betrothed? Out of all the people in the galaxy, why did you have to be promised to a Harkonnen?

Ever since you had been a little girl, your friends had been teasing you about it. Repeating the dreadful gossip about Giedi Prime and your betrothed who had become a famous and dangerous gladiator in the meantime. And now you were finding out that the gossip was not true – reality was even worse than anything you had heard and expected of this place and of this man.

You were supposed to spend three months on Giedi Prime before your wedding, away from your home and family, to adjust to the environment and the customs. Then the wedding would take its place and you’d become the na-baroness of The Harkonnens.

On your first morning you were woken up with breakfast brought to your bed by the servants.

“Why can’t I eat with my husband’s family in the dining room?” You asked them while sitting up and resting on your pillows.

The pale and bald women looked at each other significantly. Everyone looked the same here, you felt like a freak.

“Baron Harkonnen and his nephews do not eat their meals together, unless it is a special occasion, a banquet of some sort,” one of them explained. “Everyone eats their meals in their own private chambers.”

“I see,” you nodded and sighed at the sight of the food. It was as colourless as everything around. You missed the bowls of fruit and yoghurts you had been getting on your homeplanet.

After swallowing the last bit of your breakfast, you took a shower and let your new servants dress you up. The Harkonnens had requested for you to leave all your clothes and personal belongings at home. They wanted you to be as detached from your old self as possible. You were gifted a whole wardrobe of new outfits instead. All black.

You wondered if they’d ask you to shave your head, too. You dreaded that. Your hair was like an armour you could hide under. Your servants had no idea how to manage it so they left it loose. You brushed it with your fingers since there was no brush.

When you saw yourself in the mirror you thought that on your homeplanet you’d be called a feral woman. In a black, long dress, hair unkempt and dark bags under your exhausted and empty eyes that lacked any sort of emotion.

You were supposed to have classes about The Harkonnen culture. You had been studying it since you were a little girl but they did not trust your progress and they wanted to test you in a more practical sense. Your teacher was an old man with a contemptuous smirk, a close advisor of the Baron and most likely his spy.

He had been asking you questions for the past hour to which you answered perfectly well. It was becoming difficult for him to hide his surprised facial expression.

“You’ve been trained well, my Lady,” he admitted.

“This is all that has been expected of me,” you explained with a nod, your voice was hollow and emotionless as you realised how true your words had been. Your whole personality was limited to be the future Harkonnen Baroness ever since you had been a little girl. You couldn’t possibly tell what you would be like under different circumstances. You had never been given a chance to find out.

“Very well then,” he hummed to himself. “I’d like you to roam freely around the fortress and try not to get lost. Tomorrow during our class you will ask me questions about the things and places that made you curious,” he informed you and bowed down before leaving the room.

You looked around, expecting someone to fetch you but no one was coming. He had to actually mean that you were allowed to roam freely around the fortress. Carefully, you left the room and chose to turn right. You had arrived from the left side of the corridor so you were naturally more curious about the right side and exploring a brand new territory.

You were too scared to try to push any doors, though. You didn’t want to walk in on things that would possibly make someone beheading you for seeing. The occasional guards passing you by were looking at you suspiciously but they were not saying anything. After a while you stopped seeing them at all and realised you were in a dark maze of endless corridors that you had no idea how to get out of.

Trying to go back, you only ended up getting lost even further as you were going deeper and deeper into the maze. Your heart started to pound in your chest and your hands began to shake as they turned cold. The corridor was cold in general – much colder than the rest of the fortress. And it was terrifyingly empty.

You decided to stay in one place and wait. Someone had to eventually look for you, right? You hoped for it to be true. Trying to hug your own self for warmth and comfort, you rested your back on the cold, grey wall, taking deep breaths in.

Suddenly, a loud and animalistic cry emerged from behind one of the black doors. You were startled by it and your body began to tremble even more. You wanted to get away as far as possible from that door but when you were about to turn around and run, they opened and your heart squeezed in your chest.

To your surprise, it was your betrothed leaving the mysterious room. He was wearing gladiator attire and holding a blade in his hand with blood still dripping. His eyes widened at the sight of you and you froze.

“What are you doing here?” He asked in his deep and raspy voice.

“I… I got lost, I’m sorry. I’ve been told to roam freely around the fortress and explore on my own but I got lost…” You explained as you shivered.

Feyd-Rautha approached you slowly like predators approach their prey. You took a step back and felt the wall behind you. You were trapped.

“Lost, you’re saying?” He smirked as he hovered over you. Your heart was pounding so fast in your chest that he just had to hear it. He rested one of his hands on the wall above your head and leaned in even closer. “You’ve accidentally gone underground where I train on my slaves,” he smiled almost playfully, showing off his black stained teeth.

“I’m sorry, I did not mean to..” You gasped but he shushed you with a soft hiss.

“Did I say it was forbidden?” He asked and you shook your head. “Come, I’ll show you,” Feyd straightened himself and reached out his hand towards you as if he was a proper gentleman.

Everything inside you was screaming to run away and to not follow him anywhere. But you were aware that he would catch you in a second and your attempt would only most likely enrage him. And very soon you would belong to him anyway. You would be his property whether you wanted it or not.

You held his hand and he froze at the feeling of your ice cold and shivering fingers.

“You are cold,” he pointed out. “And scared.”

“I am not scared,” you lied. You had been taught that The Harkonnens hated fear and cowardice.

“And a liar,” Feyd-Rautha sneered and led you inside the mysterious room he had previously left.

It was big and dark like every other room in that fortress. There was a dead body of a servant in gladiator gear laying on the floor in the puddle of his own blood. The walls were covered in all sorts of weapons.

“This is where I train,” Feyd announced proudly. He had to think it would impress you but it only made you sick, especially the sight of the dead man on the floor. You had never seen death in such a brutal and ugly way before. But now you were sure it was not the last time.

Feyd was visibly waiting for your response as he let go of your hand and took a step back to tilt his head and watch your expressions carefully. You realised it was a test of how much you were able to handle as his wife.

You wondered what would happen if you failed all the tests. Would they just send you back home or would they get rid of you? Were they even able to do that? You didn’t want to find out.

“It is impressive, my Lord na-baron,” you admitted with a shaky nod of your head and he winced at your words which made you furrow your brows.

“Don’t address me like a servant, pet,” he clicked his tongue and you nodded, slightly uncomfortable at the way he had called you.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised. “How should I address you then?”

“However you like,” Feyd shrugged his arms and approached you once again, raising his bloody blade slightly as you flinched. It brought a smile to his full lips. Looking deep into your eyes, he licked the blade clean. You clenched your jaw and tried to keep a poker face on but a knot formed in your stomach at the disgusting act.

You hated to admit that he was attractive for a Harkonnen. There was a magnetic energy about him that made you attracted to him like a moth was driven to a flame. Even his harsh and unpleasant voice was leaving you wanting more.

Feyd brushed your hair with the tip of his freshly cleaned blade, carefully, making sure not to cut any strand.

“I want you to always wear your hair like this,” he looked even more intensely into your eyes.

“That would be inappropriate,” you tried to explain. “It’s not considered elegant.”

“I said, I want you to always wear your hair like this,” he repeated like he couldn’t understand why you were trying to argue. He was a spoiled na-baron and completely not used to people disobeying him. So, you just nodded this time.

“Then I will,” you promised. “If I could only get a hairbrush, though. Or a comb. So they don’t tangle,” you pleaded and he squinted his eyes at you as the tip of his blade moved to under your chin. You swallowed thickly at that gesture.

“A hairbrush or a comb,” he repeated your words. “That can be arranged,” he added and you smiled nervously at him. “What are you scared of?”

“Of the blade under my chin perhaps?” You raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled, however his hand remained still.

“Weren’t you sent here to be my wife?” Feyd’s smile dropped in an instant. He was serious again and you took a deep breath in, tugging on the folds of your dress to hide how sweaty your hands had become.

“Yes, I was,” you nodded.

“And what do you think of that?”

“I don’t think. I have been preparing for that since I was a child,” you answered.

“I want to be a good husband,” his sudden confession made your eyes widen. In one swift move he took the blade away from you and replaced it with his hand as he held your chin up, forcing you to look into his eyes. “My uncle says that a wife should not be an enemy. He wants me to court you properly,” he explained.

“Is your uncle experienced in marriage?” You asked, curiously. You had been taught that Baron Harkonnen had never been married.

Feyd laughed at your question as his grip on your chin tightened. He moved his face even closer to yours, your nose nearly brushed his and it made you hold your breath.

“Can you think of a woman who would not become his enemy after being forced to marry him?” He asked you and you dared to chuckle at that.

“So, I assume, I do not have to worry about you becoming like him one day?” You bit on your lower lip, realising that he indeed did not want to hurt you.

Perhaps that whole uncomfortable and threatening situation was his idea of intimacy. You wouldn’t be surprised.

“My uncle is not my role model,” he only answered and took a step back, removing his hand from your chin. “I don’t have idols.”

“What do you worship then?” You furrowed your brows.

“Blood and honour,” he answered with all seriousness. “Allow me to give you something, my pet. A gift for my bride to be,” he proposed and you hesitantly agreed, not wanting to hurt his feelings by refusing.

You expected him to approach one of the walls and hand you some of the weapons. But, to your surprise, he kneeled down next to the dead body laying on the floor and he opened its chest with the sharp tip of his blade. You gagged quietly and covered your mouth with your hand, trying to look away as the metallic smell of blood hit your nostrils, leaving you nauseous.

The sound of his heavy footsteps made you look in his direction again, not wanting to offend him in any way. He was walking towards you proudly with a real human heart in his hands, blood dripping off of it on the floor, leaving a trace. With all your force you stopped yourself from squealing at the sight. No amount of training and studying The Harkonnen culture had prepared you for this.

Feyd-Rautha reached his hands out as he offered you his foul gift. He was staring at you intensely, expecting praise of some sort or admiration. However, you had none. You let the wet organ slip into your hands as you gagged once again at the sensation and a shiver went down your body. Your reaction caused Feyd to tilt his head and squint his eyes.

“What am I supposed to do with it?” You asked in a shaky voice.

“You don’t like it,” he pointed out after a short while of silence and you got scared of upsetting him.

“It’s not that I don’t like it, I just…” you started, trying to nervously explain yourself.

“You don’t like it,” he repeated, both annoyed and disappointed.

“I appreciate the gesture,” you tried to assure him. “I will keep it,” you promised.

“Why don’t you like it?” He asked once again, ignoring all your words. You sighed.

“It’s just not something I’m used to. In my homeworld, we don’t give each other human hearts,” you explained softly.

“What do you give each other?” His question was genuine and curious.

“Haven’t you studied my customs like I have been studying yours?” You asked but the answer was obvious.

“My uncle says it is not important for me to know your culture because you are here to become one of us,” Feyd explained. “The only thing I have been studying was the blade,” he added. “So, what kind of gifts do your people give?”

“Flowers,” you answered. “For example.”

“There are no flowers on Giedi Prime,” Feyd pointed out. “No seed blooms in our soil.”

“I understand,” you nodded, nervously. “I am grateful for your gift, Feyd-Rautha. I appreciate your courtship,” you assured him but your voice and hands were shaking as your face was visibly disgusted.

Someone knocked upon the doors and Feyd barked at them to come in. You turned around and saw two guards sighing out of relief at the sight of you.

“There you are, my Lady!” One of them approached you. “We’ve been searching everywhere. Let us escort you back to your chambers,” he bowed his head.

You nodded at him, relieved as well at the sight of them. You wanted nothing else than to go back to the familiar part of the fortress and to finally leave this awkward and uncomfortable situation with your betrothed.

Still holding the heart carefully in your hands, you walked out without even glancing at Feyd-Rautha. The guards took you to your chambers where the worried servants had been waiting. They gasped at the sight of your gift.

“What is it, my Lady?” One of the girls asked you.

“It’s a gift from Feyd-Rautha,” you explained as they all widened their eyes. “I have no idea what to do with it,” you admitted.

“Feyd Rautha gave it to you, my Lady?” The servant swallowed thickly and you nodded. “Do you know what it means, my Lady?”

“No,” you shook your head and handed the organ to another girl. “I desperately need to wash my hands and change my dress,” you said and disappeared into the bathroom where you spent fifteen minutes getting rid of the blood.

You took the stained dress off and threw it on the floor before walking out back to your chamber. The girls were already preparing the heart as they put it in a jar full of some odd liquid.

“It will dry in there, my Lady,” one of them explained. “Na-baron must be really enamoured with you, my Lady, or perhaps he is trying to show his best side to you.”

“Enamoured?” You snorted at her. “It’s gruesome.”

“It’s the most romantic thing a Harkonnen man can give to a woman, my Lady,” the other woman added and you gasped.

“I haven’t been taught that…” You whispered, feeling extremely stupid for the way you had treated Feyd-Rautha before. You had to anger him dearly and his rage was not something you wanted to deal with. “What is the equivalent of such a gift for a man? What can I give him in return?” You asked the servants and they looked at each other’s faces, surprised.

“There is no equivalent, my Lady,” one of them answered. “Harkonnen women do not court. Only men do.”

On the next day, when you were leaving your chambers to go to your class, you spotted the doors nearby opening and your betrothed walking out of them. Your room was in the same area as his so it was no surprise but you didn’t expect to see him at the same time in the morning. At the sight of you, he looked down and walked past you without a word, which made you feel bad for him and for the way you had treated him. But it also made you anxious because his uncle has been right about marriage. You didn’t want Feyd-Rautha to be your enemy.

Giedi Prime was far from perfect and your betrothed was an odd, psychotic creature. You couldn’t change your destiny, though, so you had to embrace it to make it bearable.

“Feyd, wait,” you rushed after him and he froze when you grabbed the sleeve of his robe. He turned around and looked at you coldly.

“I am in a hurry,” he drawled.

“So am I. But I wanted to apologise. I have been studying the Harkonnen culture for years but I have never been told of the meaning of such a gift,” you explained, feeling your cheeks getting warm. “Please, forgive me. I didn't mean to reject you.”

“The heart was of a low quality,” he admitted as his face softened slightly. “Next time I will give you the heart of a real warrior, a real enemy. Not some slave,” he added. “My uncle has already reprimanded me for that.”

You broke a smile at him. It was adorable in a way how this scary and dangerous man was following his uncle’s guide on courtship, trying to be on his best behaviour around you. It was making you feel powerful in a way.

“I would like to return the favour but my servants have informed me there is no such tradition,” you confessed. “What can I do for you to forgive me?”

Feyd-Rautha hesitated for a moment as he looked away, thinking intensely about something. Then he laid his eyes on you again and leaned in to join your lips together. You were startled at first, your heart pounded in your chest. Raised to become his wife, you had never kissed anybody before and saved yourself for him only, however it felt as if his soft lips were truly made for yours. You put your hand on his chest and opened your mouth to invite his tongue in. He devoured you, greedily wanting to explore your mouth and feast on your taste. His hands pulled you closer by your hips and you put your free hand behind his head. Seeing him for the first time in real life two days ago, you had been slightly uncomfortable at the sight of him. But now you did not feel any of that.

Even if you hadn’t been prepared to become his wife, you’d still want him. You had been born to be his.

Feyd’s hands moved up and cupped your face before breaking the kiss and moving away gently. You took a deep breath in as he stared into your eyes and caressed your loose hair.

“You’re forgiven, my pet,” he told you. “By the way, I’ve ordered a hair brush for you.”

MASTERLIST

#dune imagine #dune x reader #dune fanfic #feyd rautha imagine #feyd rautha fanfic #feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha harkonnen imagine #feyd rautha harkonnen fanfic #feyd rautha harkonnen x reader #austin butler x reader #lilysfiction

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daportalpractitioner · 3 months

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cancer degrees in the natal chart (4°, 16°, 28°)

4° = strong connection with the ancestors, as if they really live through you. mediumship skills. past life recollection. natural caretaker. nurturing. defensive. tendency to be emotionally immature. needs to learn true vulnerability. unresolved anger. natural connection to the divine feminine. loves the water. seeks familial connection. resentment. homebody. connected to roots. need to break free from the sheltered life. pioneer in your family. maiden energy. lack of patience. forgives quickly. creating nu patterns in the family. creates a home + family anywhere you go. strongly physically favors an ancestor.

16° = overcome mommy issues. motherhood is a big challenge for you. single/young mother. lack of support. yearning your mother. family betrayal. wounded feminine energy. self-love. being a mother to self. learning how to not be selfish. stubbornly sensitive. forgive your parents. big titties. yearning for a home. a need to put yourself out there to connect with others. working in healthcare. learning lessons resulting in pregnancy. eyes in the back of your head. honor your boundaries. abandonment issues, especially from mother. strong connection to the ocean, specifically. mother energy. the people's safe haven. learning to trust + let others support you when you learn to support yourself. be mindful of perpetuating generational curses.

28° = tends to do busy work. ancestor's baby. the matriarch. overcoming patriarchal influence. family rebel. authoritative. breaking generational curses is a main priority. karmic clearing. resting does not equate to laziness. healing work. cultivate your own family. a true, 50/50 blend of both of your parents. crone energy. intentional family planning. lack of parental support in order for you to take authority, hence why the ancestors support you heavily. strong foundation is crucial to your success. psychic gifts. a guide. the collective's healer. community witch. legacy builder. taking accountability for your huge karmic responsibility. stands on business. paying for the sins of your ancestors with dignity. innerstanding your spiritual bloodlines on top of your human bloodlines + integrating that dna into your soul mission. creating nu family traditions.

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pedgito · 4 months

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𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄, 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘, 𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐇 | BFD!Joel x Fem!Reader

summary | the rich father of your bestfriend, sarah — joel miller, was a mystery to you until one day he isn't and you quickly find that your interest in him isn't one-sided. [12k]

pairing | joel miller x fem!reader

content warning | 18+ content, as always: no use of y/n, au/no outbreak, bfd!joel, ceo!joel, mentions of reader growing up poor/absent parents (joel is ridiculously loaded, it's fic y'all let me live lol), sneaking around, age gap (not explicitly specified, but reader is in final year of college and joel is probs late 40s/50s), vacations, gift-giving, unprotected piv, come swallowing, daddy issues if you squint, one (1) pussy slap, oral (f receiving), semi-public fucking

author’s note | anyways, here’s this. big age gap, some power dynamic stuff but not really. if you don’t like, don’t read & all that jazz. love you babies. xo.

↝ other fics | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic recs

There was no hiding who Joel Miller was to the town of Austin—a pioneer in the community for rebuilding and building upon the surrounding shopping areas and neighborhoods to save the town from complete gentrification. He owned three companies at this point—one manned by his brother Tommy who dealt with larger businesses, handled the biggest amount of workload when it came to dealing with customers. The other was handled by his wife Maria, more often communicating with smaller businesses in the area. Mom and Pop shops, family owned and locally sourced shops. And Joel dealt with the community directly, building houses at an affordable rate that kept his business booming and well above the surrounding competition.

He was so sought after that the idea of him felt like an enigma.

But, to you—he was just Sarah’s dad. For years you never had the pleasure of meeting him, with his constantly busy schedule he was often away when you came to visit Sarah on their massive—almost too comically large piece of land on the outskirts of Austin, Texas.

A large two-story farmhouse that seemed like something right out of a storybook—pristine and in perfect condition, surrounded by what felt like miles of grassy land and fencing. Horses, chickens, goats, growing piglets that were taken care of by Sarah and Joel themselves.

You’ve known Sarah since you were fourteen, aware of her upbringing and the type of family she came from, but it never deterred her from being the kindest friend you’ve had. And your shared, similar interest led to an easy friendship that lasted well into college. Sarah was also aware of your…less than ideal family situation, living under the roof of a single parent household, given you were an only child it wasn’t horrible—but your father was a drunk and didn’t manage his money well and that often meant going without. It didn’t matter what, but there was always something lacking that you wish you didn’t have to make up for with your already overwhelming amount of college work and lingering debt.

You didn’t have anywhere to go, unfortunately.

But, Sarah was always there.

And it isn’t until your final year of college that you find yourself finally meeting the once mysterious Joel Miller, remembering that Sarah told you something about how he was trying to take a step back, allowing more responsibility on his trusting employees to head the company while he took a step back and managed everything as a whole from a distance—less involved, more time at home around Sarah, it was a win win situation.

With both of you working toward similar degrees, it was helpful and convenient to share notes and study as often as you could, especially as your final term papers were nearing and looming like a dark cloud.

It’s an unsuspecting Thursday night when you and Sarah are pausing the heavy studying to cook a quick dinner when Joel walks into the kitchen, approaching the island and nearly tilting your entire existence on this earth on an axis. Your breath catches briefly, eyes dragging over his figure. You’ve seen pictures—family vacations that Sarah has shown you when they were flying across the country over summer breaks and you were stuck at home.

But, nothing compared to the real thing.

His hair is grown out, curling around his ears. A warm, soft brown that is styled and shaped so perfectly it seems unreal—but the loose curl that falls over his forehead gives it away. There’s a deep cut in his silk-pressed shirt that hangs loosely on his frame, some abstract pattern that shouldn’t work as well as it does on him, but his tan skin compliments the deep tones and varying designs. The faint dusting of chest hair is obscured by the chains that hang in the space the silk-button up creates where he lacks the ability to fasten them, or rather chooses not to.

And you try not to let your gaze linger on the cut of his jeans as they cling snug to his legs, cuffed at the ankles and showcasing a pair of—what you can only suspect are new loafers. A dark chocolate brown accented with a gold metal piece along the center to complement his jewelry around his neck and the few rings placed meticulously on his fingers.

It’s no secret his ring finger sits untouched, lacking the heavy weight of a significant other's mark. Sarah mentioned her mom dying young, much like your own—maybe that’s why you two bonded so easily.

“Got enough for your old man?” Joel questions curiously, tapping away at his phone meticulously before pocketing it, eyebrows raised in question.

“You hate boxed mac and cheese,” Sarah argues flippantly, flicking the empty box at her father across the counter, “so no, I don’t.”

“No, babygirl—I just hate the powder kind.” He flicks it back just as easily and you note how easy their relationship feels, like this is how things should be.

Sarah laughs, scrunching her nose up in amusement. “Charming, isn’t he?”

Oh—she’s talking to you? You look at her for half a second, confused, before you’re quickly nodding in agreement without fully listening to what she had asked.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to lie.” She assures, stirring the noodles in the pot over the stove.

Your gaze lingers selfishly, catching the faint twitch of a smile on Joel’s face as he catches you looking. It’s nothing more than a friendly smile, comforting rather than disarming.

“You know—Sarah never brings her friends around.” Joel starts begrudgingly, eyeing Sarah down before switching to you, “Seein’ as I’ve been hearing all about you for years now and I’m just now meetin’ you in the flesh.”

“Dad, stop scaring her.” Sarah gripes, searching around haphazardly for a couple of bowls, “seriously—just ignore him. He doesn’t know how to act now that he’s home more.”

Joel rolls his eyes dismissively, extending his hand in a kind gesture. You grab it hesitantly and he senses it, pointer finger dragging along the underside of your palm as he holds it delicately and bows his head.

“She’s just mad she can’t get rid of me now,” Joel tells you softly, nodding toward Sarah over your shoulder, “how’s the studying goin’?”

He doesn’t let go of your hand immediately and you don’t try to escape either, allowing the brief moment of lingering contact before you slip it away, shoving your hands into your back pockets.

“Fine.” Sarah’s response is clipped.

It’s stressful, if you’re being honest. But, you could see that Sarah didn’t want to relay that to her father, side-eyeing you wearily.

It’s the first of many interactions that led to the tiny crush you began to have for Joel Miller. Your once a week studies eventually turn into two or three times a week, desperate to spend as much time away from your own home situation as possible.

Eventually, it’s nearly an everyday thing. You and Sarah would finish your day of classes and drive the short distance to her house and spend most of the night studying. Gradually, you were introduced into their own routine. At first, Joel would offer to buy dinner and leave things be, allowing you the space you needed. But, it eventually delves into weekly dinners and sitting down as if you were a part of this pseudo-family situation you’ve interjected yourself into.

Sarah knew you didn’t like it at home, so it was never a problem. Joel caught on after a few weeks—noticing how you avoided any questions about yourself, your family, anything that would allow him any glimpse into who you were outside what Sarah had told him, which wasn’t much at all. He’s trying to make you feel welcomed and you can appreciate that.

You’ve offered to help pay for meals on multiple occasions, but it never works. Quickly thwarted off by Joel’s extended hand as he shoves your cash away, assuring you that it wasn’t your responsibility. This was his house, his gesture, and he didn’t want you to think you owed him anything.

Yet, something in you yearned to do so.

You wanted him to know just how grateful you were.

His curiosity about you comes to a head on a night after a few beers with friends, poker table trashed and the kitchen a mess. You were bringing down the trash from Sarah’s room, the shared dinner you two had had as a treat for your first day without studying—it was relaxing, mostly because your day had been spent here rather than home.

Joel gathers a few bottles in his large palm, slipping the lips of the bottle through spread fingers. “You two enjoyin’ yourselves?” He asks, looking at you casually. It was a question you’ve heard often, a simple conversation starter. And talking to Joel was much easier now.

You nod, lips pulled into a tight smile. “Yes, Mr. Miller.”

“C’mon now,” Joel jests, dropping the bottles into the trash, “none of that—it’s Joel. Shit makes me feel old, darlin’.”

The nickname wasn’t new either. He often called Sarah by her name or babygirl.

Darlin’ though, it was all you.

He takes the dirty plates from your hands and places them in the sink, palm extended against the ledge of the counter while he rests his other hand against his hip.

“How are you doin’?” He asks, voice softer but still gruff. “Not that you have to tell me, I just want to make sure you’re feelin’ comfortable here.”

“I’m okay,” You say through an unsure smile that Joel notes but doesn’t press on, “it’s just easier to study here—I’m sorry if I spend too much time around here. Feels like you should be charging me rent by now.”

“Not a chance in hell, darlin’.” Joel grins, shiny white teeth showing behind his smile. The small bit of his shirt that was tucked in came loose by the rub of his fingers at his hip and drawing your eyes to the skin briefly, “you’re always welcome here.”

And you hate the way you crave even an inkling of physical contact from him. A pat on the shoulder, a hug, a fucking kiss on the forehead. You weren’t his daughter, you didn’t want to be. But, there was something about Joel that you couldn’t pull away from, trying your best to keep it at bay.

“You know what,” Joel says suddenly, pulling your lingering gaze back on his face, feeling guilty as you chewed on your bottom lip, “why don’t you come on vacation with Sarah and I next month?’

“Mr—Joel, that’s—” You’re quickly silenced by his hand actually pressing against your shoulder now—and fuck, when had he gotten so close?

“Sarah was thinkin’ about asking you anyways. We’re gonna take a trip to the Keys,” He rubs gently at the junction in your shoulder, the thick expanse of his thumb pressed against bare skin, “—just consider it, alright? Lord knows you both need a break as much as I do.”

The thing about Joel is that he was such a good father, something you haven’t been privy to in the couple decades and some few years you’ve been alive. You want to feel jealous and angry, spiteful that this was something you couldn’t have naturally. But, it feels nothing like that.

The crush you had on Joel was dangerous. But, that was all it was. A craving to be around Joel, to seek his approval and gain his trust. And bask in the care he provides. A simple case of daddy issues that you couldn’t admit to yourself was actually happening.

You shouldn’t entertain the idea.

You shouldn’t even consider it.

“Oh—okay. Yeah, as long as Sarah is alright with that.” You nod, a genuine, soft smile stretching across your face. Joel squeezes your shoulder tighter and you swear you feel it moving in closer, like he wants to hold you closer, cradle you in his hands. But, then the touch is gone and his fingers are running through his hair, curls separating through his fingertips.

“Alright then.” Joel says triumphantly, “You gonna be okay gettin’ home tonight?”

Sarah was driving you home soon, like usual. You nod.

“Good,” Joel nods, “Goodnight, darlin’.”

“Goodnight, Joel.” You say sweetly, patting your hand against the countertop softly, unable to spare a look his way as you walk in the opposite direction.

But, he can’t help his own fleeting and inappropriate thoughts, eyes dragging along your figure as you walk away, hands gripping the countertop like a vice, internally kicking himself how indecent he was allowing himself to think about you. Still, it didn’t stop the thoughts from flooding in and if he found himself spread out on his sheets that night, cock held tight in his hands as he fucked himself into his fist—well, he could repent for it some other time.

You touch down in the early morning on a Sunday, still riddled with anxiety from the plane ride. Joel had tried his best to accommodate, even buying first class tickets despite his usual tendency to go business. He didn’t care much for amenities but he wanted to treat Sarah and you, making you feel guilty with how quickly your face lit up at the sight. Spacious seats stocked with gifts and snacks, a tiny television molded into the area, it felt like too much.

It was. But, Joel assured you it wasn’t.

There was little planned for the week you had to spend there and you had tried to scrounge up a little cash within the month you had to save, picking up a few extra shifts at your job and stowing it away for this—hoping you could treat yourself to something, anything. Even if it was just a stupid tourist shirt that cost an egregious amount of money.

Joel quickly snuffs out that idea, putting his foot down as he assured you that this trip was a treat. Not just for himself, but for all of you. You never asked how much money the Miller’s had, but it was clearly more than you could ever fathom to be imaginable. He yanks the black Amex from his wallet and hands it off to every waiting server and store owner you three come across.

It’s abundantly clear that they don’t worry about money in the sense that you do—it wasn’t unwelcomed, but it was an adjustment that took a couple days to get over, feeling shame for enjoying it. He’d paid for the plane fare, booked the hotels and the activities you had planned, made sure meals were paid for and then some, even allowing you and Sarah some spending money to go shopping for clothes or whatever you needed.

He didn’t ask, it didn’t matter. He just wanted you to feel welcomed. Like family…or something.

The trip is fairly harmless fun, a few swimming activities that tire you all out and lend to an early turn in on a couple nights, dinners that lended you to learn a lot more about Joel. Still, as much as Joel tried, you weren’t as open. Vague answers, sidewaying the conversation. He didn’t try to pry, though. And you were thankful for that.

But, with fairly harmless came a few instances that didn’t feel so.

The first comes in the deep end of the ocean, floating on a shared longboard in the midst of the calm waves, humid heat sticking to your skin. Fingers fiddling with the loosening tie around the back of your neck as Sarah wades off to the shore for a brief minute to reapply sunscreen. And maybe you shouldn’t have asked, but you see the lingering look Joel gives you, fingers curling subtly against the edge of the board.

“Can you help me?” You ask, slowly edging around the board until you’re beside him, turning before he has the opportunity to answer. “It’s hard to get it tight on my own.”

Joel clears his throat and offers a smile, “‘Course, chin down for me?” And you follow his lead, feeling his fingers brush against your neck and guide your head down, untying the loose not completely and feeling your swim top go slack, covered by the safety of the water and your back turned to him, but it doesn’t stop the touch of his fingertips against your skin as he ties the knot and tugs slightly, assuring that it was secure to his liking. You lift your head slowly when you feel his palm press flat against your back, fingers curling around the point where your shoulder meets your neck.

“Thanks, Joel.” You turn your head over your shoulder to look back at him, earning a small nod as his touch lingers, only loosening when you rescue your grip on the longboard in front of you.

“Enjoyin’ yourself so far?” He asks, always able to ease into steady conversation without missing a beat. “Any complaints?”

“Definitely,” You smile wide, huffing soft laugh through your nose as you shake your head, “I guess I do have one complaint, actually.” You tell him honestly, a subtle nervousness to your voice.

“Well, I’m all ears, darlin’.” He responds, leaning his elbow onto the board as it bobbed slightly.

“I just…you don’t have to pay for everything, Joel.” You find yourself rushing out the words, hoping that it wouldn’t cause an adverse reaction, but instead, Joel smiles wider.

“Look, I invited you on this trip,” Joel explains, “and that means you aren’t paying for a damn thing. Alright?”

You nod meekly, quieting down as Sarah waded back into the ocean toward you both.

With Joel, it was something you would have to learn to accept.

You try to ignore the lingering touch of his fingertips on your neck, but now it feels like a burn in your skin that would only get worse as time went on.

The second instance isn’t as much of a thing, rather than a moment.

Eyeing a sundress that resembled some of the similar outrageous patterning that Joel wore, shapes and blobs morphed around the material yet somehow managing to look chicer than anything you’ve ever come across, strappy and long and deep cut down the center. It wasn’t for modesty, you could assume that much. You run your fingers along the creases and stitching in the fabric, admiring it as you flipped the tag in your hand, immediately gawking at the price.

Joel had been lingering by, browsing the various knick knacks and souvenirs lining the shelves off the small store—all hand-made pieces that he could appreciate, but didn’t find any use for himself. And he’s watching you, has been for a while, noticing the way your eyes kept flicking back toward the dress despite your path around the store.

Joel casually follows the same path, taking a subtle peek at the tag. It was a few hundred dollars, but given the silkiness of the material and him being very familiar with the tone of pricing around the area, it wasn’t an outrageous ask. He slips the dress off the rack, careful as he removes it off the hanger and finds you separated from Sarah as you peruse down a wall of jewelry—some cheap and some not, looking around with no real want, just admiring.

He slips the dress into your hands, rough, overworked palms cupping your own as he makes you physically wrap your fingers around and claim the garment, chest to your back as he speaks, lips a hair's breadth away from your ear.

“It’s a pretty dress,” Joel says calmly, much calmer than your rapidly beating heart and the sudden uptick in your breathing, silk material spread out over your fingertips, “shame for it to go to waste, darlin’.”

“It’s expensive.” You argue, voice soft as he locks eyes with you in the mirror nestled in the nearest corner, “It’s nice to want things Joel, but I don’t need it.”

“I dunno,” He responds, unconvinced, “and—maybe I’m speaking out of turn but I think it’d look great on you.”

And you’ve never been more thankful of Sarah’s obliviousness to certain things, so wrapped up in her own shopping across the store that you two remained unsuspecting, eyes still locked on one another through the shared mirror.

He can see the way your body twitches at the comment, responds, but what he doesn’t understand is how it makes your cunt throb, solid body pressed against your back as he squeezes the backside of your hands with his palm. The willingness of contact was still fresh and new but it never made you feel unsafe—in fact, it had the opposite effect entirely.

Joel speaks again, directly to you in the mirror.

“I might just have to buy it for you, darlin’.” He says quietly, “You alright with that?”

You hesitate for a moment, but nod shakily. “Thank you, Joel.”

“Don’t need to keep thankin’ me.” Joel assures, “I know it’s implied.”

But, the instance that had you reeling for days after, still replaying it vividly in your mind, was a night near the end of your trip. Sarah had long gone to bed and you, riddled by insomnia, find yourself at the hallway vending machine, looking for a snack to cure your growing hunger.

Though, it seemed that Joel had the same idea—fork halfway into his mouth as he turned the corner, a sizable piece of chocolate cake inside of a small to-go tray, looking even guiltier as he caught sight of you, feeling like he really didn’t want to get caught like this. It makes you laugh into the palm of your hand. Joel is acting like the kid that got sneaking cookies in the middle of the night, still not hesitating to lick the fork clean as he tucked it away in the styrofoam box.

“Don’t tell Sarah,” He swears you to secrecy, “she’s already on my ass enough about my sugar intake.”

“You’ve got a sweet tooth,” You shrug, “nothing wrong with that.”

“What about you, huh?” Joel’s eyebrows raise in question, watching as you peruse the various snacks but not finding anything particularly appetizing. “Late night snack?”

“Somethin’ like that.” You chew at your bottom lip, feeling that this was useless.

“Wanna share it?” Joel asks suddenly, pulling your attention to him immediately. “That way I feel a little less guilty about it.”

“Oh—and then bring me down with you?” You tease lightly, “Of course.”

It’s how you end up in Joel’s room that night, no other intentions than to share that stupid piece of cake, lacking a fork so you trade off for a few bites until it slowly delves into you both feeding each other as you talk, one of you hogging the fork more than the other. You curled up in one chair and Joel relaxed out in the other, styrofoam box held to his chest and forcing you to lean closer to assure you didn’t drop crumbs everywhere.

Maybe it should feel weird, but it doesn’t.

“You know—if there’s anything you do need—” Joel begins after a while, meaningless conversation having died out.

“I know—Sarah tells me all the time. I just have to ask.” It feels pointless, rehashing things again. But, Joel feels the need to reassure and comfort. It didn’t help that he was finding himself, at his age, attracted to you in such a depraved way. “I will—if I do, I mean.”

It’s forbidden territory he couldn’t cross. But realistically, that only made him want you more.

Joel feeds you a slow bite, lips catching over the fork but smearing a copious amount of chocolate frosting on your chin. Before you have the thought process to wipe it away Joel is already there, leaning forward in his chair as he uses his pointer finger to clean you up, eyes following his movements carefully after the first initiation of touch.

Your breath catches in your throat, expecting him to use his own mouth to disallow wasting the frosting, but instead he raises it to your mouth in a split decision, his eyes dilating slightly under your shy gaze. Your lips press against the side of his finger in a gentle kiss that quickly spreads, taking the full length of his finger into your mouth as you lick away the excess frosting, feeling the pulse of desire in your belly as it grew, knowing that if Joel wanted to keep you there he could, locked under his gaze with his fingers stuffed into your mouth and you’d let him.

It was despicable. Inappropriate and wrong. But, you couldn’t help how badly your body wanted him, despite your brain telling all of this was a horrible decision.

You pull your mouth away with a soft pop, watching as Joel curl’s his hands into tight fists as he pulls them back to his side lazily, seeming more tense now.

“I should go.” You say softly, terrified to disturb this moment and the tension that blanketed it.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea, darlin’.” Joel says reluctantly.

Things only get worse from then on—and maybe worse is a strong word. But, it soon turns into a game that neither of you can stop, waiting until one of you finally makes the wrong move.

A few weeks later and your laptop takes the shit on a random Tuesday, head buried in your hands as Sarah tries to console you, but it isn’t much use. You knew it was a stretch to think the laptop could last you through the entire semester, and with just a few short months left, it couldn’t be worse timing.

Joel walks in at your inconvenience, keys jingling in his hands as he slips off his leather peacoat, glancing at Sarah who didn’t give him much to go off of. He folds the jacket over the back of an empty dining chair and rests his hands against the top of it, eyes scanning over the both of you at the table, one looking a little more distraught than the other.

“Everything alright?” He asks curiously, earning a subtle head shake from Sarah. He clears his throat, “Or—uh, well, how is the studying going? Feel like that’s all you two do.”

You rub a frustrated hand over your face and sigh, “I’m gonna see if I can get a ride home or something,” You tell Sarah, sliding your phone off of the table, “I’ll deal with this later.”

Joel and Sarah share a quick look of communication, her hand waving toward you sharply, forcing Joel to speak up before you make another rash decision and spend money on a long ride home when had the perfect opportunity standing right in front of you.

“I can give you a ride home.” Joel offers, much to your surprise.

You’ve been alone with Joel a lot now, though inadvertently.

Sarah would sneak away in her room for longer stretches of time just to call her boyfriend—which wasn’t a bad thing, but it felt odd when Joel would come home and there was no one to greet him but you. Still, you stretched your lips into a smile and welcomed him sweetly.

Even if this was his home.

Or times when you just happened to cross each other's path, even in such a large space. Sometimes the front porch when you were taking a break to stretch your legs, his watchful gaze dragging along your figure as he sipped on a hot cup of coffee in the evening, foot stabilized on the deck as he rocked in the wooden swing he sat on, crickets chirping loudly as the sun set.

Or just a simple trip to the bathroom, his bedroom across the hall and a couple doors down, often shut, but there were moments when you opened the doors, nearly face to face, and neither of you could look away. Joel would clear his throat, excuse himself, and kindly gesture for you to walk first. It happened often, too often—but neither of you addressed it. Instead, the tension grew. And grew. Until it felt like poking a sleeping bear. So it hibernated in both of you quietly.

Part of you expected things to change, that the small moment shared in his hotel room would make things hard to navigate, but if anything—it’s easier.

“Okay.” You agree easily, not having the proper energy to fight him over it.

The ride is quiet for the most part and Joel doesn’t need the step by step directions as he knows this town like the back of his hand, but he makes a wrong turn somewhere between his house and yours and you don’t feel like something is wrong, but it definitely feels off.

“Joel, you missed the last left.” You speak up as he continues down the road, glancing around leisurely as you soon delve onto a main street, lined with several shops. “Joel—”

“I’m gonna make a quick stop,” Joel attempts to ease your worries, fingers tapping against the gear shift positioned in the center console, “if you don’t mind.”

The moment he pulls into the parking lot of the electronic store, you know. You can see it in his eyes as he squints, checking that the store is still open and pulls into a parking spot near the front of the store.

“Joel, no—” You grab his wrist suddenly, his free hand reaching for the door handle and he looks down, eyes connecting where your skin touched before slowly flicking up to you, “look—just, I don’t need you to buy me a new fuckin’ laptop. I can handle it.”

Joel’s shoulders shrug in his obnoxiously patterned shirt, like he’s working out a kink in his neck as he repositions himself in the seat but doesn’t pull away from you. In fact, his hand gradually pulls toward your knee, fingers squeezing around your kneecap comfortingly.

“Considering it a loan then?” Joel tries to bargain, “Let me help you out now so you won’t have to worry about it and you can pay me back as you get the money? I see how often Sarah uses her laptop, it doesn't make sense for you to go without when I can help.”

You chew on your bottom lip thoughtfully, staring intensely back at him. You could put your foot down and deny his offer, but the idea of suffering through the rest of the semster without your sole life line to surviving through college—well, that was actually torture.

“I’m paying back every single penny.” You tell him forthright, waiting until he nods in agreement.

“Sounds like a deal to me.” Joel responds.

Joel spares no expense, which doesn’t come as a surprise. He buys you the highest, top notch laptop they have to offer—and even as you stare daggers into the side of his face, there’s an inkling in your mind that tells you he isn’t going to allow you to hold up your end of the deal.

Joel liked to party too—not giant parties that felt overwhelming and unwelcoming. But, he did have a close group of older male friends that he liked to play poker with on the back deck of the Miller household.

Sarah learned to block it out early on, knowing that at some point things would get just a little too loud and not as easy to ignore. But, Joel never made you feel out of place within any of these instances. You were welcome here all the time and Joel was clear about that.

He’s showered you with gifts and accommodation and you hate the way it makes you feel special, wanted—beyond the night in his hotel room it was only innocent glances. It felt like you were misreading things, making something out of nothing.

Things aren’t great at home and you like it here—love it, even. And you feel your mind nagging away to make a stupid, spur of the moment decision. You could ignore it, but then your eyes catch Joel’s through the slight crack in the door, trapping you in his gaze like you’ve been caught doing something wrong.

He squints slightly, lips curling around his beet bottle as he takes a long swig, fist uncurling against his jeans as he rubs out his palm and smiles—he has you hooked in so fucking easy it feels pathetic.

This is wrong. You inhale a shaky breath and turn away, busying yourself with literally anything else—a scuff on the table, the chipped nail polish on your fingernails, something.

Eventually his friends filter out—and Sarah had invited you to stay over the night barring that it was the weekend and she enjoyed your presence just as much as you did hers—if only she could understand the now huge, harboring crush you had on her father. It was harmless, but it felt like a betrayal.

And the feeling only increased as the night creeped along, your burdening insomnia keeping you awake, shifting and turning in the sheets beside her as you tried and failed miserably to fall asleep.

It was quiet out here, less commotion from the city. It was eerie, in a way.

You slip out of the bed quietly, walking barefoot on the hardwood as you tiptoed until you were outside of her room, closing the door behind you. You weren’t hungry, so you didn’t bother with the kitchen, rather heading toward the front door that was already halfway open.

Part of you expected Joel to be sitting on the porch, no real rhyme or reason. But, even he is out of sight. The soft, well-kept grass welcomes the press of your feet as you wander outside slowly, the hug of the warm spring air on your skin even this late at night. You catch one of the Miller’s horses hanging out around the edge of their enclosure, wondering if they managed to nudge their way out of their stable. You approach slowly, still not as accustomed to them as you’d like to be.

But, they were friendly. So, you raised a careful hand and rubbed gently at the horse’s mane, smiling at the soft huff it offered in return, leaning its snout over the fence more.

“Sunshine is always friendly,” Joel says from somewhere you don’t see, startling you out of your body as you jump, whipping your head around to look for him, eventually landing on his approaching form as he left the barn that held the stables, “—sneaky little gal, though.”

You laugh softly, finding it hard to believe that such a sweet horse was capable of escaping.

Joel whistles softly, beckoning her toward him. “Come on.” He nods, silently asking you to join him. You follow eagerly, watching as he unlocks the entrance to the fence for you to slip through, locking it behind you as you pass the threshold, catching up with Joel in a few steps.

“Don’t sleep well, do you?” He asks, heading turned over his shoulder briefly to look at you. You nod quietly, leisurely approaching Sunshine’s stable and watching as Joel locks her back up, rattling the gate for safety this time, ensuring it was secure. “Seems we have a few things in common.”

Joel stays quiet for a moment—in his own head, a deep moment of contemplation, carrying and safeguarding these thoughts he knows he shouldn’t have, wondering how your skin would feel against his palm, how the pulse of your heart would feel as he pressed his hand to the center of your chest and kissed you, full tongue and consumed your essence, this unignorable aura you had around you.

He feels sick, distraught. But, he can’t force himself to avoid you either.

“There’s somethin’ that usually helps me,” Joel tells you, hand pressed wordlessly against the center of your back as he guides you out of the barn and locks it up as well, “just goin’ somewhere quiet—lot of the time it’s just my thoughts keepin’ me awake.”

God, if only he knew.

He did, but that wasn’t the point.

Joel quiets for a moment, stuffing the ring of keys into his pocket as he glances over at the house briefly.

“You wanna go for a quick drive?” Joel asks suddenly, forcing it out before he can find a reason to stop himself.

“As long as it doesn’t end with you buying me another laptop, sure.” You chide deviously, watching the smirk grown on Joel’s face, knowing he still hasn’t taken a dollar from you.

And vehemently refuses every time you offer.

Joel drives you the path further into the land of property he owns, most of it still unexplored by you, eventually finding a clearing near the east edge, right on the edge of a body of water and a dock nestled near the shore. There’s a small boat tied to a post, big enough for a few people.

Under this light, as you exit the truck, Joel looks different.

He’s free of the weight of jewelry he wore, comfortable in his worn shirt and soft cotton shorts. For a while, Joel had been such an enigma that you weren’t sure what to make of him. Sure, he was just Sarah’s dad—but he was also Joel Miller, backbone of the town. His face was plastered everywhere. There wasn’t a single street you could traverse down that didn’t have him nestled away somewhere.

He spots a small mud puddle under your feet as he rounds the truck and quickly catches you before your feet get stuck, hands locked in yours as you jump over the small patch of wet dirt.

You let out an exasperated sigh as you look up at him, silently thanking him with your eyes.

“Can you swim?” He asks casually.

“Yeah…” You respond hesitantly, eyes locked onto the boat several feet away.

Joel releases your hands, but it doesn't matter. His touch still lingered painfully and you want nothing more than to pull him back in. But, now Joel is asking to go on a midnight boat ride with you and—really, how could you turn that down?

Joel rows you toward the center of the lake, your eyes locked onto the mesmerizing sight of the stars in the sky, so much clearer out here and away from the city.

“Pretty, ain’t it?” Joel asks, not bothering to look his way.

You smile slightly, leaning back onto the palms of your hands.

“Yeah, it really is.” You miss the way Joel’s gaze lingers, admiring you.

“Now—sometimes I just come out here and talk to nothin’,” Joel explains when the boat comes to a full stop and he rests the oars inside the boat, knees spread as he resting his elbows on them, “then other times I just sit and enjoy the quiet.”

Your choice—that’s what he’s implying.

You clear your throat softly, finally changing a glance his way.

“I just—I don’t wanna say I’m jealous of what you have here,” You say quietly, “but, it really is a bitter reminder of without Sarah or you, I’d have next to nothing.”

Joel stays quiet, allowing you to marinate in thought and figure out how to convey how you were feeling.

“And—I don’t know. Selfishly, I like it.” Liked him. “But, I don’t want to rely on it and you make that a little impossible. I do have money, Joel. I can pay for things. I just don’t want you feeling like you have to do any of this out of necessity.”

“I’m not,” Joel admits, “Now—what makes you think that, darlin’?”

“I just—I don’t want anyone thinking I need to be fixed, I don’t.” You tell him, “I don’t need charity, either.”

Joel waves his fingers in a come closer motion, taking your slowly extending hands in his own, thumbs rubbing over soft skin tenderly, boring his eyes into your own.

“I’m gonna tell you this once and I need you to listen,” Joel says softly, but his voice feels so loud in the silence of the night, breeze hitting your skin and sending a sharp chill up your spine—but, you’re not how much of mother nature is responsible for that, “really listen, alright?”

You nod slowly, blinking a few times as you feel yourself shrink under his gaze.

“What I give you isn’t charity,” Joel tells you seriously, “and—maybe this is crossing a boundary I shouldn’t but, you’re somethin’ close to family. I take care of people I care about.”

Not family—he couldn’t conitate that with the feelings and thoughts he was having toward you.

“Close to family?” He was praying you wouldn’t harp on it, but you needed to confirm the underlying layer of tension that lingered between you two all the time. It was driving you insane, keeping you late into the night—he was the reason for your insomnia.

Joel smirks slightly, covering it with a quiet chuckle. His hand gradually cradles your face, rubbing along your cheek with a delicate touch, “I think you know, darlin’.”

God, he hoped you did. His thumb dragging along your plush bottom lip, eyes lingering for a brief moment before he pulls away, immediately missing his touch as he reigns himself to the idea that he may have crossed a line, quietly rowing the way back toward the dock.

Neither of you get much sleep that night anyways.

More time passes, lingering touches grow, and Joel is terrible at hiding his affinity for you now. Finding that those few words burned all regards he had toward keeping himself restrained around you. He had enough of a mind to keep it private—but there were comments, sweet little words that he’d whisper as you walked by or he caught you alone.

Nothing scandalizing, but just enough that it had your heart fluttering in your chest.

Until there is a small slip up, helping the Miller’s with dinner one night as Sarah escapes to the bathroom for a brief moment, your arms outstretched into the cabinet to grab for something just out of reach.

“Use the stool, darlin’,” Joel sees your struggle, “safer that way.”

You look around observantly before you find a folded up stool tucked into the only open corner in the kitchen, taking it back to your spot and unfolding it.

“Good girl.” Joel comments quietly, catching the startled look on your face as your head snaps back toward him. And he has the nerve to smile, noticing the hitch in your breath.

And it only grows in intensity until you can’t stand it anymore, cornering him in the kitchen on a night where Sarah is already upstairs gathering herself for bed, thinking you had come down for a couple bottles of water.

Joel is nursing a small glass of whiskey and he’s silent, but his gaze tracks your movement. You move toward him.

There is a belief in you, fully realized, that something is up here.

"Joel," You lick your lips hesitantly, squaring yourself up against the counter, standing straight, trying not to seem like you were teetering near a dangerous edge of delirium, wondering if you were imagining all of this, "can I ask you something?"

There's a severe lack of distance between you two, knees knocking against each other gently from where you both stand, eyes searching out cautiously even though you know there's nothing to worry about. You were alone, something that has happened far too many times over the past few months. Lingering moments of wandering gazes, eyes connecting from across the room even if Joel was surrounded by people, partying with friends while you're tucked away in the corner while Sarah talks to you about the boys at school that you can't be bothered to give the time of day.

Because of Joel. Because your mind is so tainted by the idea of him.

His palm is flattened out against the counter, adorned with a couple golden rings that clack against the marble, gold chains to match that sat perfectly against his chest, framing the small patch of hair that peeked out over his unbuttoned shirt, silk-pressed and adorned in a silly design that somehow always managed to work perfectly with whatever Joel paired it with.

"Course," He assures you, "You need somethin'? 'Cause you know if things aren't alright at home you're welcome to stay with us."

He’s not amiss to notice just how much time you spend here and no one bothers to come around and check on you. Given you were an adult, it was still glaringly obvious you escaped here for a reason.

Joel reaches out to touch your cheek, the warmth of his skin melding with your own as your breath catches in your throat.

Touch wasn't new, but it never got old. Like a brand against your skin that screamed out for more. You look down briefly, mouth opening slightly to say something, but quickly resigns back to its previous position, lips pursed under a soft scowl.

"I can take care of you," Joel reminds, like you could ever fucking forget it, written all over your features and the outfits you wore now, the dainty gold chain that he'd leant to you as a gift when you pointed out how much you liked it—he'd bought it for himself but there was no resistance in offering over it over to you, bright smile stretching across your face in the moment that Joel felt a sickening addiction to, "—if that's what you need, sweetheart."

You nod instinctively, though you’re not sure what you’re answering too.

“We’ve got a spare room,” Your bottom lip pulls between your teeth, the huskiness to his voice shouldn’t feel intimate speaking such meaningless words, “plenty of room for you, alright?”

“Mhm,” You answer weakly, feeling the distance start to close as Joel tries—really fucking tries to fight it, but he can’t help the way his eyes track the way your body responds to his teach, lip trembling when you release it from it’s hold between your teeth, “thank you, Joel.”

“For?” Your heart is racing, terrified of being caught but also enticed by how openly Joel is admiring you, eyes wide with adoration and curiousness, something undiscovered and new to him.

“Taking care of me.” You echo his words, but you’re both quickly retching away at the sound of a door creaking upstairs, separating in an instant.

This was all you had—fleeting moments that would never be.

The logistics are complicated to figure out at first, but finishing up the last few weeks of schooling away from the stress of being at home and somewhere where you could actually focus outside of school made the most sense. You pack a big enough bag to last you through the month, clothes and personal belongings you care about, and make the small guest room your new home.

At least, as much as you could.

Luckily, your final classes are a breeze—thankful that most of your discipline with studying had paid off, you and Sarah would graduate in another couple weeks and allow yourself a real break over the summer before deciding how you both wanted to continue. More schooling or not, you would handle that later—for now, you let your mind rest.

And Sarah, well, she escapes the first chance she gets—the first official day free of responsibilities she’s running off for a weekend vacation with her boyfriend, assuring she didn’t mind you tagging along if you wanted to come, but you could see it on her face—she wanted privacy.

So, you had no problem staying back.

A weekend alone—with Joel? Who could barely keep his eyes off of you know that you were around constantly, even in the early mornings when he’d walk through the kitchen shirtless and fumbling with the old coffee pot he refused to get rid of. It was a side to him you hadn’t seen much of and it was slowly etching itself into your memory.

Everything implodes the first night that Sarah is gone, unknowingly yet not unwelcome. But, it’s a turning point neither of you can come back from.

It’s undeniable the amount of boiling sexual tension that has stirred between you both between Joel’s heated gaze and scandalizing comments, stuff that he tries to hold in but fails when he sees how easily of an effect it has on you.

So, as luck would have it, your restless minds meet again.

Joel stops between his open bedroom door and the wall, watching as you approach quietly, smiling kindly as you reach for the door to the guest room, bidding him a soft goodnight.

He could spend his night writhing in bed, hand around his cock as he jerked himself to the thought of you a few feet over, nestled under your sheets—unbeknownst to him, relieving yourself in a similar way and yearning for the stretch of him rather than your measly fingers. It used to relieve the ache and help you sleep, but now it made things impossibly worse.

His fingers encircle your wrist quick, but carefully, silence your ultimate downfall as you stare over at him curiously, his eyes pleading something so desperate it roots itself into your own mind. Like an invisible string tethered to your bodies, it pulls you both together instinctively.

He doesn’t hesitate with touch now, slowly barricading his hands against the side of your neck, gradually working to cradle your head, tipping your head back as he leaned in, not willing himself to cross that line unless you allowed it. He knew the second you stepped over he was done for, similarly, you knew that to be true for yourself.

“Tell me to stop,” Joel begs, “—tell me and I’ll give this up.”

You double down, pressing your face against his own, nose pressing against each other, speaking against his lips in a venomous tone that seeps into his bloodstream.

“No,” You tell him, steadfast and unwavering, “I don’t think I will.”

Joel breathes in sharply before his reverence is breaking, pressing you up against the solidness of the guest room door and crashing his lips against your own, his grip bruising as he palms at your thighs, hooking a leg around his hip as he grinds into you, the feeling dulled out by layers of fabric but you can still feel him. He’s hard and straining against the soft fabric and making no attempt to hide how much you affected him.

“We’re makin’ a big mistake,” Joel says into your mouth, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth to prove his point, pulling a sharp moan from your chest at the slight sting, “you realize that?”

You find your courage and part from him briefly, open palm rubbing against the line of his cock, slowly trailing up and under his shirt, blunt nails clawing into the stomach, the muscle tensing under your skin, “I’m well aware—are you gonna stand here and have a moral dilemma about it or are you going to fuck me, Mr. Miller?”

It ignites a fury behind his eyes, ravenous and wild. He grips your face tightly, tilting your head up at a slightly uncomfortable angle, pussy clenching around absolutely nothing from the show of dominance, the grin spreading across your face all Joel needed to confirm his suspicions about you.

You enjoyed this—him, the little game you’ve allowed him to play over the past few weeks. And just as he’d said before, he wanted to take care of you—in as many ways possible.

“Say it again,” He warns, squeezing your cheeks together between his tight grip on your face, “—fuckin’ say it.”

“Mr. Miller,” You drone sweetly, best you can through his sturdy grip, “—hm, is that what you want to hear? Is that what gets off at night?”

Joel’s eyes squint slightly, attempting to read your expression. How would you know?

“Always want me to call you Joel because Mr. Miller is just too much, right?” You tease, “I guess you could lie to me, but the look on your face says otherwise.”

The back of your head drops softly against the door, nowhere to go as Joel has you crowded, hand tight on the doorknob and unmoving. You’re trapped and you can’t be bothered to care.

His hand trails to your neck gradually and squeezes, eyes rolling into the back of your head briefly as his jaw clenches, teeth gritting together as he bares them and speaks, “Should’ve guessed you’d like it like this, huh?”

You feign cluelessness, eyes half-lidded and staring back defiantly, swallowing against the solid hand he held against your neck.

“Tell me you want it,” Joel presses, feeling how mutely you attempt to press against hold and fail, “need to hear you say it first.”

“What? That I want you cock, Joel?” You say vivaciously, grinning at how his mouth twitches at your words, cooing out a soft, “Because I do.”

And that’s all the confession Joel needs before he’s breaking the barrier and shoving you inside the guest room, slamming the door closed behind him with a foot as he tracks and approaches you, hauling you from the back of your thighs as your ass hits the bed, scooting back slightly and spreading your legs to allow him to slot perfectly between them.

The fabric of your shirt bunches in his hands as pushes it up and away, lips pressing hotly against your stomach, mouthing at the skin greedily, quickly forcing the shirt up your shoulders until you get the idea and rip the shirt over your head, bare breasts bouncing against the jostling of your body. Joel has half the mind to gawk before he’s latching his mouth around your nipple, biting gently at the flesh despite his choice to be more aggressive than you expected. It’s the right amount of too soft and too much, your fingers curling into his hair at the root and pulling, earning a soft groan in response.

His curls fall freely over his eyes from where he’s looking up at you, lips lingering against your breast tantalizingly, “Let me taste you.” He tells you, his fingers dancing along the hem of your bottoms, his body descending as you find yourself nodding absently, helping him in the impatient push and pull until he has you naked and bare before him, his cock straining prominently against the thin material of his pants, rubbing himself through the fabric as he uses his free hand to spread you wide, marveling at the sight of your slick over the lips of your cunt.

Joel settles against the sheets, broad shoulders supporting your thighs as he adjusts them over him and hovers closely of your cunt, waiting for your eyes to connect in a brief moment of confirmation

You wanted this. And so did he.

He remains wide-eyed as his lips connecting with your cunt, straight for your aching clit as he sucks, flicking his tongue over the sensitive spot with a precision that has you falling slack against the sheets, mouth open in a blissful agony as Joel works away at your pussy like he’s had a million years to study it, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs as you continue to pull and twist at his hair, selfishly grinding yourself against his face.

He never breaks his gaze on your face, even when you find yourself with your head thrown back, staring up at the ceiling mindlessly, admiring the hurried rise and fall of your chest as you moan out something intelligible, slowly beginning to make sense in his hazy mind, “Oh—right—right there, Joel. Fuck, please—” You beg sweetly, feeling weightless as he lowers his mouth to your neglected hole and licks inside, his nose pressing perfectly against your clit.

“C’mon, baby,” He murmurs against your pussy, “keep talkin’, let me hear you.”

You sigh in exasperation, feeling the burgeoning ache of your impending climax, “Faster—” Joel is an astute listener, never missing a beat as he picks up his pace and adds more pressure, “–shit, I’m gonna—”

Joel silences you with his eagerness to make you come, words falling flat as he assales your clit with a determination to have you coming against his mouth, feeling the muscles spasm as you crying out his name in desperation, orgasming over his greedy tongue as he laps you up synonymously, forcing your body into overstimulation until you have to physically force him away.

Joel doesn’t have half the mind to speak, eyes darkened to near black as he rises to remove his shirt, pants and underwear following quickly after, undressing under your hazy gaze as you try to calm your rapidly beating heart before he’s fisting himself tightly, tip of his cock rubbing against the line of your pussy and catching your entrance, using the last bit of restraint he had left.

He should be courteous and ask about protection—but there’s a heat behind your eyes when you see his thoughts wandering, quickly snuffing out any worries. You reach gently for the hand not fisting his cock, cradling your knee gently, “We’re safe.” You assure him, the first moment of deep, unsettling reality as he realizes the weight of his choices before him—he’s already committed a few atrocities he knows he can’t come back from, so, what was a few more?

And he couldn’t say no to you, not with you staring up at him so wantonly, eyes pleading something desperate and meek, curious if this was all just a heat of the moment thing. Partly, it was—but this was months upon months of built up tension finally spilling into reality.

Joel isn’t sweet either, as he presses inside you. It shouldn’t surprise you, his impatient nature as he pulls you in close, hands gripping under your thighs and manhandling you until your folded nearly in half, hips pistoning sharp and rough, his gaze locked on the sight of himself disappearing inside of you, the sheen of your slick over his cock as you suck him in greedily.

“Come on, baby,” He grunts roughly, “keep showin’ me how good I make you feel. Show me how grateful you are.”

As if it wasn’t already obvious, obscene noises, feeling the quiet air as you sob out, feeling the angle change as he shifts his knee by your ass, angling your hips up slightly.

“Thank—thank you,” You say softly, broken as he snaps his hips roughly, hitting something sensitive inside of you, the coiling heat in your stomach rebuilding quickly, “thankyouthankyouthankyou,” You ramble mindlessly.

Mesmerized, you watch his curls bounce freely over his forehead, overgrown hair sticking to his skin from the soft sheen of sweat, the muscles in his broad shoulders straining as he holds your legs prisoner in his grips, hips aching dully from the unusual angle but you ignore it. He’s locked onto your pussy for a long stretch of time, entranced until he hears your soft moans, realizing you’ve been admiring him this whole time, eyes locking on you in a moment of vulnerability as he speaks directly to you, hips slowing to a manageable, but still slightly overwhelming pace.

“Always—know how to appreciate things, isn’t that right?” Joel asks, the redundancy not lost on you, “Take everything I give you and never ask. Never greedy—just lettin’ me spoil you.”

“Joel—” You whine, his hand slowly trailing the path to your joined bodies, thumb circling slowly over your clit briefly, “—harder, fuck me—harder.”

“But, look at you now—so fuckin’ greedy for my cock,” He’s speaking through a slight groan, releasing the straining hold on your thighs as he falls, spreading his legs out and using his arms for support as he holds himself over you, hands fisting into the sheets beside your head, “gonna make me cum, baby.”

You find yourself desperate for touch now, wrapping your arms around his neck until he’s nearly chest to chest, forehead resting against your own as you whimper into his open mouth, “I want it.”

Joel makes a small noise of question, “Want what, baby?”

“Your cum,” You reply softly, watching the way his pupils dilate at your words, “—please?”

Joel groans involuntarily, feeling the dignified squeeze of your walls around his cock.

“Where?” He asks slightly breathless, panting into your mouth.

You reach blindly for his hand, using his pointer and middle finger to breach your lips, pressing flat against your tongue, “Right here.” You mumble around the thick digits.

It’s the first thing you’ve ever explicitly asked for and who was Joel to deny that.

Joel pulls out quickly, rising on his knees as you push up to rest on your palms, his head hung back as he fucks himself into his hand harshly, a few short pumps and he’s pressing the aching tip of his cock over your tongue, spilling into your mouth with a deep growl, forced through clenched teeth, working himself through the aftershock as he squeezes out the last bit of cum he has to offer into your waiting mouth, forcing your mouth closed with his opposite hand and watching as you tilted your neck up and swallowed, tongue peeking out playfully as you show him your empty mouth.

You have half the mind to think he’s finished, but instead he’s swatting your thigh as he maneuvers your hips until you realize he’s silently asking you to turn over, quickly situating your ass in the air with his strong, domineering grip—burying his face into your cunt without a moment of hesitation, a gasp ripping from your throat. Your hips pull away instinctively out of shock, earning a sharp slap by Joel’s hand against your oversensitive cunt.

“Stay still.” Joel demands.

You answer softly, a pathetic acknowledgement and nod, obeying his order.

“Good girl,” He coos, muffled against your cunt, “Come for me, baby—you’re right there, I can feel it.”

There’s little resistance as his tongue swipes over your clit, sending you into a shorter but immensely more consuming second orgasm, feeling yourself lose consciousness for a brief moment as you sob into the sheets.

“Fuck.” Joel sighs as he rests back on his calves, cock softening between his thighs as you roll onto your back gingerly, thighs shaking from strain, feeling Joel’s comforting touch on the aching muscles as you close your eyes, letting the reality of the situation set in.

You laugh giddily, “Yeah, fuck.”

Neither of you address the glaring issue of what just took place and somehow, that feels like the biggest atrocity to be committed.

Secrets weren’t something you used to harbor, but it seemed like that was all you had now.

Sneaking off with Joel, lying to Sarah—it was the last thing you wanted to do. But, you and Joel had each other in an equally debilitating grip that neither of you could loosen up on.

And with secrets came gifts, more and more outrageous as time went on—big ticket items that had you fearing that, at some point, Joel would drop something like a new car on you—and that, for what it was worth, would help you. But, it was nothing you wanted.

Sex started to feel transactional after a few more weeks, graduation creeping on you.

Joel never lacked in care and attentiveness, but there was this nagging feeling in the back of your mind, like you were this unattainable prize he was paying for and you were eating right out of the palm of his hand.

But, then graduation day approaches and Joel is acting odd.

So odd that it unsettles you. He’s there, along with his brother and his small family, cheering as loud for you as he does for Sarah, the obvious absence from your own family never lost on you or him. Then, night approaches.

He’d decided that throwing a party for the both of you in celebration was a good idea, just a small party with very few friends and he swore—swore that there was nothing else up his sleeve until he’s pulling you and Sarah off together, away from the party and there is a pair of matching, new cars parked in the driveway.

Sarah, given she already has everything she wants, is still thankful. It’s the one thing she had been trying to save up for herself, without the help of her dad. So, while she could be upset, she isn’t. She knows Joel’s intentions are good and that he’s just trying to be a good father—which is all he’s ever been for her.

But, for you, it stings.

You linger, settled a few feet away against his beater of a truck, staring at the car like it was an eyesore.

She doesn’t like it. She hates it, Joel thinks.

You thanked him regardless, but refused the keys. Joel had stuffed them into his pocket and allowed you the space you wanted, eyes pleading quietly. Sarah had hugged you gently, kind words left in your ear before she departed back inside.

“You’re like family,” She says with genuine love, “and he has more money than he knows what to do with—so honestly, just take it. You deserve it more than anyone.”

And that hurts worse, knowing that you’ve been lying to her for months.

You weren’t family. Not to Joel. You were something much more convoluted and dangerous.

A drug. A trap. Something he couldn’t rid himself of, not that he desired to. But, he knew—once you were embedded into his life, it would be nearly impossible to get you out.

–

Joel finds you a while later, away from the party and beyond eyesight from the house, curled up against the front end of the truck and picking away at some of the ripped denim of your jeans, counting the frayed pieces. He takes a similar position, sitting next to you silently.

“You don’t have to take it,” He tells you, “but, it is paid for—”

“Joel, please—”

“What?” Joel asks suddenly, his own annoyance getting the better of him, “What am I doing wrong?”

“Joel—we have sex, you buy me something ridiculous. Or, you buy me something ridiculous without my knowledge and then we end up having sex, how does that look to you?”

“Now, I’m not doing that because of sex—”

“But, you see how it looks? How it makes me feel?” You argue with him, “Joel, I can’t help how I feel about you, like—it feels physically impossible, but the constant gifts makes this seem transactional. I don’t want that. I’m already a secret, I don’t need to be bought either.”

Joel shakes his head in silent disbelief, “You really think that’s how I view you? That’s it?”

“You haven’t tried very hard to make me think otherwise, Joel.” You tell him honestly, “I don’t need you showering me with cars and clothes and shit that I don’t need—and if that’s what you feel like you need to do, I don’t want to do…whatever this is anymore.”

Fucking him, sneaking around in secret. You weren’t dating, but it sure fucking felt like it. One intimate moment from a love confession that would seal the deal on your perception of him.

Joel kicks at the gravel as he rises to his feet, pulling you up by your forearm, an immediate look of both confusion and frustration crossing your features as he turns you and presses your chest against the front of his truck, shadowed by the cover of night. His belt clanks together loudly as he undoes his jeans behind you, tucking them far down enough he can pull his cock from the confines of his underwear, lifting up the hem of your dress and yanking your own underwear down your legs and off, and you should stop him—but you don’t want to.

This was the problem. You couldn’t get enough of Joel.

He slips inside of you with ease, pulling a sharp gasp from your chest that he stifles with his hand, clasped over your mouth, fucking into you with a reverance that was new.

“Joel—we’refuck—we can’t here,” You try to say, yanking his hand away from your mouth, “we’ll get caught.”

Joel grips the base of your neck roughly, fingers curling around the sides as he tilts your head back and looks into your eyes, other hand coming around the bottom of your chin until you’re forced to look up and back at him, not a single speck of warm brown in sight. He looked angry.

But, it didn’t feel like it was directed toward you. Regardless, he fucked you like he was.

“I’ll return the fuckin’ car,” He starts to ramble, “I’ll return everything if that makes you think differently. God—” He snaps his hips harshly, earning a broken sob from you as you reach behind you blindly for something to anchor yourself on, fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt, “—never want you to think this is transactional, baby. It never—never was.”

Never would be, you want him to say.

“Whaddya want me to say?” Joel asks before you can speak, “That I care about you—baby, I fuckin’ do. I thought that was obvious. Know—know I shouldn’t, that it’s wrong, but I knew—”

You gasp raggedly, his hand leaving your chin to find your clit, just the right amount of pressure to have your hands clawing at his skin, head resting back against his shoulder as he fucked into you.

“And I’ll keep this a secret if—if it means I can have you but this isn’t transactional,” He continues to speak, despite your inability, tipping over the edge of your orgasm as his hips stutter slightly, “it never will be.”

That—that was what you needed to hear. Pulling him taut against you as he buried his mouth into the junction of your neck and nipped, biting at the skin roughly but not enough to break skin.

“Come inside me,” You gasp, chest rising and falling quickly, “please—Joel, please?”

“You like when I fuck you like this, don’t you?” Joel teases, “Never ask for anything but my cum—greedy girl,” You moan at his words, spurring him even further, “tell me baby, tell me how much you want it.”

“So bad,” You whine, “Joel, please give it to me—fuck—all of it, please?”

Joel snaps his hips a few more times before his hand is releasing your neck, crossing over your chest and squeezing tightly at your breast as he pulses inside of you, pumping his hips and filling you full of his spend.

Joel kisses at the exposed skin of your shoulder, pulling out with a soft grunt, the slow jingle of metal sounding behind you as you reached for the underwear he offered you, slipping it back up your legs and into place, despite how Joel’s cum dripped out of you, something he makes point of as his fingers drag along the material, causing you gasp softy at his touch, swatting his hand away. He chuckles lowly at the annoyed glare you shoot his way.

Joel shifts your hips until you turn in his grip, back pressing against cool metal. He crowds you in again, leaving you feeling breathless as he grips your face, but his touch is surprisingly tender.

“What do we say?” He says softly, lips pressing against your own.

“Thank you,” You retort sarcastically, capturing his lips in a quick, bruising kiss as you card your fingers into his hair at the base of his neck, pulling gently, “this doesn’t change anything—I don’t want the car.”

“You don’t have to take it,” Joel settles, “but it’ll be here if you need it.”

You pull away further, looking at him endearingly, watching as his eyes flick briefly toward the house.

“What do we do–about this?” You ask quietly, afraid someone might be listening in despite being alone, “About…whatever this is.”

“Hey,” Joel assures gently, “don’t worry about that—not tonight.”

“Joel—” You plead, eyes searching desperately into his own.

“I care about you, that’s all you need to worry about.” Joel speaks truthfully, his thumb rubbing along the line of your jaw as you swallow, muscles tense under his touch.

And you’re wondering if he’s just saying what you want to her—that maybe this was still a game to him and he was letting you feed into it, nodding to his confession. Joel is all in, offering you his metaphorical hand.

You sigh shakily, “Okay—I trust you.” So please, don’t let me down.

And you know things will eventually implode, but you intend to hold on the brief moment of hope you have now, safe under his gaze as he leads you back to the house, everyone blissfully unaware of the moments you’ve shared, leaving you resigned to appreciate the greedy looks his shares with you across the room.

It was a dangerous game, but you were willing to take the risks.

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #bfd!joel #pedro pascal characters #pedrostories #my writing

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romaritimeharbor · 26 days

Text

FAMILY, OF SORTS. — in which kafka, blade, and silver wolf are an odd but quite special found family to be a part of.

— trigger & content warnings. mentions of unspecified injury.

— pairings & notes. fluff, found family. kafka & teen!reader, blade & teen!reader, silver wolf & teen!reader. 1.3k words. reader is a stellaron hunter. reader is gender neutral (they/them pronouns used).

— author's notes. the sillies <3 APHE POSTING???? APHELION POSTING REAL AND TRUE????????? i had a request for this on my old blog (from my dear beloved moot @starryshinyskies <3) so i decided to finish it 💪 nd tagging @www-brontide since i know you were excited for this post HEHE anyways how are we feeling about this formatting? if you guys don't like it i'm very open to changing it back. i'm just experimenting with my post format is all 🫶

kafka seems strangely motherly to me. caring and doting in her own unique ways, but also quite strange and odd in those same ways. an enigma of sorts.

she is the kind of person to always send the stellaron hunters' youngest member texts throughout the day; these texts range anywhere from silly and inconsequential to sweet messages letting [name] know that she was thinking about them.

(her doting nature is not dissimilar to how she thinks of and regards the trailblazer... hm.)

KAFKA

My coat got stained again :(

Won't you help me clean it when you get home, little one?

[ 1:22 PM ]

KAFKA

I saw a new movie today.

It made me think of you. It was quite to your tastes.

Perhaps we should go see it together sometime, hm?

Ah, but you're probably asleep by now...

That's fine. You do need it more than the rest of us.

Sleep well, darling.

[ 11:34 PM ]

she thinks of her little one quite frequently and has been known to pick up little trinkets from different planets that reminded her of them. a phone charm, a set of rings, something more practical like a new weapon... she once returned with a nice coat that matches one of hers. her gifts are always unpredictable but nonetheless very thoughtful.

and when or if they get injured, she is the one who treats their wound(s) with a tender hand.

she does chide them, however.

"you are a stellaron hunter, little one," she reminds, pulling the bandages wrapped around their wound a little tighter, making them wince. it is akin to a slap on the wrist—not enough pain to seriously harm them, but enough to force them to take her words to heart. "if it is not a part of the plan, try your best not to get caught or injured, hm? silver wolf doesn't like to see you this way, and it causes a unique stir in bladie. your getting injured causes quite the unrest among us all! do be more careful next time."

if there is ever a night during which they are struggling to sleep, they are more than welcome to seek out kafka's company.

she would be willing to read them to sleep, if that is what they desired.

however... a far easier method that would ensure they would stay asleep? her spirit whisper ability, of course.

they know kafka would not use it to harm them.

kafka finds their earnest trust beyond endearing. the trust of a little one like them is quite an important gift! the least she can do, she thinks, is assist them when her assistance is needed.

and sometimes, that just means lulling them to sleep.

blade is quite a difficult person to read, regardless of whether he intends to be so or not.

some days, he is distant and prefers to keep to himself. others, less so.

this, though, should not be mistaken for a lack of care. in fact, he cares quite deeply. his care is simply very quiet and he desperately, earnestly, truly does not wish to cause [name] harm.

he is also most likely the one who spars with them and trains them in the ways of combat, which... he isn't exactly the gentlest at doing. training sessions can be quite frustrating in that they often emerge sore and with new cuts and bruises (but really, these injuries are small and insignificant; they are confident in saying that blade would never truly hurt them, nobody in their family would). he does mean well in his tough methods, though.

the universe is not kind or gentle. it will never treat them that way. therefore, he does his best to prepare them so that they can effectively handle the universe's cruelty and defend themselves from it.

one of the ways in which his quiet care manifests is through his treatment of the small wounds he gives them during training. kafka has said many times that she can treat them, but blade always insists on doing it himself.

out of all of their coworkers, blade becomes the most restless when they're away. he gets particularly antsy when they've been gone for a long period or when they're out there alone. kafka always giggles and points out to him how utterly restless he becomes when such circumstances occur.

(he should be assured that they can handle themselves, given that he is their mentor—there is surely nobody else who would know their skills as well as he would—but somehow he simply isn't.)

blade is also, generally speaking, the most protective.

should they come back injured... if it is anything other than a shallow scratch on the cheek, a rage hotter than the brightest star burns under his skin. in those moments, he almost does not dare to touch them, for fear that he might harm them unwittingly... but he does. his hands are somewhat rough when he snatches their face and tilts their chin around to get a better look at the blood (is it theirs? he hopes not) and grime dirtying their face. there is a terrifying threat present in his voice when he demands, not asks, "who did this to you?"

(if kafka was not present in these moments, he might worry that his mara would get the best of him. thankfully, kafka is intentional and present in such situations.)

unless the ones responsible for the wound have already been adequately... taken care of, he will do so himself. there is nowhere in the universe that the perpetrators could hide from him.

it's about protecting them, but it is also about sending a message.

something along the lines of "anyone who lays hands on them will suffer a fate worse than death," perhaps.

death is anything but a terrible fate to blade, but he knows that it is the worst imaginable to some. he will be certain to deliver something infinitely worse, something beyond imagination, to those daring to hurt his younger teammate.

silver wolf is perhaps the least enigmatic of their little family. she isn't an open book, per se, but she's easier to read than kafka or blade... at least, for someone like [name], anyway.

she never fails to harrass them to play a few rounds (which tends to spiral into many, many rounds...) of a game or two with her. why them, specifically? she insists that blade isn't good at them and kafka is kafka. really, it may very well just be that she enjoys spending time with them, but she—of course—will not simply say that.

however... she bullies them terribly about how bad they are. it comes from a place of affection!

she is also the type to win them every single prize at carnivals, just because she likes the joy it seems to bring them. when she encounters rigged games, however, she becomes all the more motivated by her unadulterated annoyance to beat them.

what do you mean she of all people can't beat this awful and horrible rigged game? her???? the silver wolf????? seriously????????

unfortunately, it does not always end in her victory, even when she is infinitely motivated by her anger.

...and she really isn't above just taking one of the prizes when the stall's owner isn't looking. she has done so multiple times for [name].

she would definitely try to teach them hacking (keyword: try) if they aren't already familiar with it. since it has come in handy for her, she figures that they might also find use in it. it's her quiet way of looking out for them.

(her more obvious way of looking out for them is often seen when she is on missions with them. most commonly, it manifests as her snatching their arm and pulling them out of the way of an enemy before obliterating said threat.)

silver wolf is totally the sort of person to pinch their cheeks (to different degrees, kafka and blade also do this!). they are very cute to her.

overall they are a weird but very special little family to be a part of <3

please consider supporting your writers by reblogging and leaving a kind tag or comment. it really helps me out!

#✧— aphe's creations.#divider by @/cafekitsune ♡#bonus: elio is your weird uncle that shows up on holidays gives you credits and tells you enigmatic secrets /hj /lh #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #kafka x reader #blade x reader #silver wolf x reader #platonic hsr #platonic honkai star rail #hsr platonic #platonic x reader #platonic kafka x reader #platonic blade x reader #platonic silver wolf x reader

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kaciebello · 3 months

Text

Delivery fees

Slytherin boys x Hufflepuff! reader (use of she/her, no use of y/n)

Masterlist

Delivery Express ✿

Summary: The reader sees an opportunity to run an untapped market in Hogwarts. Business opportunities arise and brands need to be made.

warnings: mention cigarettes, nothing else really

Authors note: English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes beforehand. I want to spread this into a one-shot series. Proofread by me and me only :(

Previously: Don’t shoot the messenger

Next part: Left on delivered

Word count: 1262

Notes to deliver - 14

The group of boys was relaxing in the courtyard, some sitting on the uncomfortable stone benches, one individual was leaning against a tree that provided them shade and two more sat on the floor forming a semi-circle of their friend group. Nobody dares to approach the ‘ dangerous’ group of individuals for their own sake. Well, nobody but a certain Hufflepuff girl with a bright yellow bow in her hair.

Who, coincidentally, was making her way over to them. As fast as she appeared she sat down and made herself comfortable between her friend's legs who was sitting on a bench. A string of greetings could be heard from the group but the girl paid them no mind. She had business to take care of.

“ Hello, Sunshine. All good?” Asked Lorenzo leaning over the girl nested between his legs hoping to catch a glimpse of her face. She shook her head and dug out her trust notebook from her bag. “ I can't come up with a name.” she just says and ignores the stares the group gives her. Lorenzo gives up and just plays with the bow in her hair.

“ Name for what?” Asks The boy leaning on the tree, Theodor. Now too, sitting down at the base of it. She looks up from her notebook with a sigh. “Isn't it obvious? My delivery business. I can’t go nameless for long.” Nods and hums of agreement sound from the boys yet no suggestion in sight so she continues. “ I was going to name it Badger Express, but my muggle friends informed me that something called Panda Express exists and that they deliver Chinese food. I simply can not rival that.” She whines and crosses something out of her notebook.

“ You talk to muggles?” Asked Draco, seemingly offended by even being in the existence of the word. To his dismay no answer just a pencil is thrown his way. “Royal Mail is also taken, so that's that one crossed out.” A huff makes them all turn their heads to Blaise, making his eyes widen with all the attention. “ Hogwarts express?” He suggests with a sheepish shoulder shrug. “ You mean like the train that takes us here and back every year?” argues Mattheo on behalf of the girl. “ What else was I supposed to say?” Snaps back Blaise. “ A better idea” whispers Draco and some heads turn to him immediately. A laugh can be heard leaving Theodor as a playful argument breaks out between the boys.

The girl just sighed and turned her head up to look at Lorenzo. “ Your friends lack creativity love, we shall find you new ones.” Lorenzo just nods wordlessly after observing them himself. “ I think badger delivery could work nicely.” He suggests, the girl just nods, as this is as good as it’s gonna get from any of them.

“ The name does not matter right now. I have gotten complaints about the charge.” She announces effectively stopping the fight as all the heads turn to her. Confusion on their faces and pure despair of hers. “ How much do you charge?” Asks Mattheo opening his cigarette packet and passing it over to Theodor.

“ 5 galleons.”

“Pocket change.” Ignoring his remark and declining the cigarette Theo was offering to her. “ I think I am going to charge depending on what they want. Because if I have to deliver one more love note dosed in amortentia my head will burst” She wonders aloud, not looking for an answer from them. Her hand searches for a pencil that now rests behind Malfoy's ear and immediately gives up when she notices its place.” What does it smell like to you?” Asks her Theodor as if they were girls at a sleepover doing facemasks and sharing who their crushes are. “Wouldn't you like to know.” She answers her eyes narrowing at the boy.

“ I bet I can guess who it smells like.” Says Mattheo with way more confidence than needed. A sigh leaves her, fully aware she can no longer stop teenage boy shenanigans. Wild-named queues are thrown into the circle as it looks more like a game of Guess Who at this point. “ I guess it's one of us.” Answers Blaise who, in the meantime, managed to pull out a book and actually read some words. ‘ This tomfoolery…’ she whispered and leaned into her friend sitting behind her.

Silence falls upon the group, the sun decides to peek from behind the could blanket and expose them to direct sunlight for a few seconds. Lorenzo declines a cigarette from Matthew as he continues to play with the girl's hair. A little ‘aha’ from her breaks the silence and they all turn to her like lazy cats disturbed from their sunbathing.

“I can ask the twins if they wanna partner up!” She says with excitement, almost jumping from her spot with it. “ The twins?” Asks Blaise. “ Weasely Twins.” Scoff can be heard from the blond of the group before he lays down to soak up more of the sun, seeming not aware of what sunburn is. “ No think about it, I can distribute their little trinkets and get some money from it! It's a brilliant idea!” The girl gets up and brushes her skirt with newfound determination. Few eyes followed her, some didn't even bother to pick up their gaze from a book or opening their eyes.

Taking a few steps to the blond she snatches her pencil back before he even registers a shadow is now covering him. Packing her bags she hears her friend. “ Why are you even doing this?” He asks with genuine curiosity.

“Money.”

“Why?”

“ Merlin, not everyone comes from old wizard money, Berkshire.”

“ You do tho.” Silence falls upon them again as the girl has no valid answer to the argument. Deciding to pack her bags instead when a few notes fall out of her bag. “ You have something for us there, mail girl?” Asks Mattheo with a raised eyebrow and points to the notes. Frantic nods are her answer as she picks them up and starts distributing the right notes. “ Each of you have one, well, not you Theodor you have two, for some reason.” She says. “ Maybe I am just that popular with the ladies. “ I don't know man, one was really pissed when she gave it to me.” His smile flatters a bit before returning to the smirk he normally wears.

Her friend forms a pout on his face and grabs her wrist from his sitting position. “ Nothing for me?” He asks. “ Boy, you told me not to deliver you anything, the only notes you're getting from me are the ones I take in potions.” A smile spreads on his face and he lets go.

“Oi, sunshine. Do you think I can get those potions notes too-” “Oh Is that Fred and George? I've got to go, bye!” She grabs her stuff and hurries to the ginger twin boys that heard her calling. An offended scoff can be heard from Blaise before the group remembers that they actually have potions homework and all scurry like mice in a hurry.

Notes to deliver - 9

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dulcesiabits · 3 months

Text

each dream of ours.

summary: when you make the grim reaper fall in love with you, you better be prepared for the consequences, no matter what happens.

notes: 3.6k words, author's notes, angst and fluff, SPOILERS for every ending of the game including the dlc ending, casper going crazy and pretending you're still alive and living with your corpse in the first section (every other section is tame i promise <3), suggestive jokes + kissing

i. Untrustworthy

What most people didn’t realize about the human body was that it was surprisingly fragile. Organs ceased to function at a whim. Flesh rotted, and fell off bones. Joints snapped as ligaments failed.

And you? Well, you were as careless as so many others of your kind, if not more so. Death avoided you easily, so your sense of caution was severely lacking, as if you thought you could live forever. Still, now that you were living with him, it was obvious that you needed to be more careful. What was he to do if you collapsed when he wasn’t around?

When Casper was out on his job, all he could do was think of you, sitting back at home. What if something happened? Not to mention how lonely you might get, waiting for him.

“Sunshine, you need to be careful,” Casper chided. He kneeled at your feet, taking your hand gently in his. Your flesh was cool, and he slid his hands up to your arms, rubbing them for any semblance of warmth.

You didn’t respond. Your eyes were closed, lips sealed tightly like you were waiting for someone to kiss you awake.

It was hard, taking care of you sometimes. When your body was so fragile, so mortal, and he knew just how easy it was for flesh to bruise and blood to spill. You were so prone to getting hurt, and humans could die from just the smallest injuries.

But that was before you had him. Now, Casper would take care of you, and nothing would hurt you again, not when he was here.

His hands trailed to your shoulders, and then up towards your face to cup your cheeks. Over the weeks, your skin had lost its warmth, and now touching you felt like touching a doll.

“Sunshine,” he said again. You didn’t respond, but you always enjoyed your little games, didn’t you? You were always seeking his attention through methods like this, even though you pretended like you didn’t care whether he reacted or not. Well, fine. He could play along for now.

Casper, still kneeling, laid his head down on your lap. Your arms hung at your sides, neither of your hands lifting to slide through his hair, as he wished they would.

When would you open your eyes again? When would he get to hear the sound of your voice, teasing him? Perhaps this was his punishment. For failing to protect you. For failing to gain your trust. For having to watch your mind shatter into pieces, unable to bear the weight of the connection between the two of you.

The moment it had happened, he had ended the call in which he had been trying to connect with you, rushing straight to your apartment. He barely remembered the journey there, his heart pounding in his throat, or how he got in. All he remembered was the way he had lifted your body in his arms, cradling you close to his chest. No matter how many times he called your name, you never responded.

It hadn’t taken much work to bring you back to his room, where he could keep watch over you. Now, you were safe and sound, right where he could reach. In the underworld, where nothing ever changed, your body would stay the same. Eternally young, eternally beautiful. Eternally protected, in his arms.

“Sunshine, I have a present for you,” Casper said. He gently took one of your hands, lifting it over his head, and slid a ring along your fourth finger. It was simple gold, and sparkled in the dim light of his room. He entwined your fingers together, kissing the ring where it laid, a simple blessing. It was proof you were his.

In this world, it was just the two of you. From the beginning, that was how it should have been. But it was okay. He knew better now. Casper would never let anything separate the two of you ever again.

ii. Take My Soul

Touching your soul had been like touching something holy. Your soul had been warm and strange and formless, a kaleidoscope of colors that shifted with each breath you took.

When Casper told you your soul was like sunlight, what he wanted to say was that holding your soul felt like holding something sacred. Something luminous that should have burned him just to behold, that swirled around his hands like a prayer.

Your soul was beautiful. You were beautiful. He had never seen someone so beautiful before. It was unfair, so unfair. Maybe you were the sort of person that human poets dreamed about, that men fought wars for, the sort of person everyone craved to hold.

But you weren’t theirs.

You had promised. You would be his if you lost your bet. And now that you were his, he would not lose you, ever again.

“Sunshine, how are you feeling?” he murmured. “I’m sorry. It must be uncomfortable to stay in my pocket for so long.”

Caper held up your soul– or what remained of your soul, a fragile wisp that still glowed like a firefly, and warmed his cold fingers. He cupped it carefully in his hands, and in its shifting surface, he could see a wavering image of his face, the dark circles under his puffy eyes.

He pressed you close to his cheek like a kiss. “What, no talking back to me? That’s a first from you. Come on, I know you want to complain. You’re gonna say I smell, even though I tell you, I bathe everyday. Or what? You’re gonna say I work too hard? Well, what can I do? They need me out there. I’m the best reaper in their ranks.”

He closed his eyes, letting the faint warmth emanating from your soul wash over him like you were attempting to heal him by giving him pieces of yourself, even now. But you couldn’t. You already gave too much of yourself away, despite his repeated warnings not to, and now this was all that was left. With the faintest breeze, you would be blown away. You once had enough light to fill an ocean; now, you could only pool in his palms.

There was not enough of you to be human again. Not enough to reincarnate, to inhabit a body, to retain anything other than a shard of you once were.

“Sunshine…” he whispered. “Sorry for making you worry. I promise I’ll get home soon. It’s not fun for you when I’m out all the time, right? You’re always so needy.”

Casper slowly brought you to his lips, his kiss sending ripples across the surface of your soul. You were foolish, and impatient, and stupid. Why did you give away so much of yourself, so willingly? You should have been more selfish. You should have grabbed a tighter hold of it, so that people like him would never be able to take it.

But that was fine, because now Casper would protect you forever. You were his, and nothing would part the two of you ever again. Not death. Not heaven. Not hell. He would cling on to you with bloody fingers until the end of the world, because the only place you were meant to be was by his side.

“I love you, Sunshine,” Casper said, your soul flickering like a candle in the breeze.

Tears pooled at the corner of his eyes, a familiar motion to him these days. His coworkers were whispering behind his back about his weeping, saying he had lost his mind, but it no longer mattered what others said. Let them talk.

If you were still here, you would have never have let him cry for so long. You would have teased him, then get flustered when he didn’t snap back, and then kiss all his tears away, one by one, until he forgot why he was so sad in the first place.

His tears fell on the shimmering reflection of your soul. But you didn’t respond. You no longer could.

iii. Sealed with a Kiss

“You need to pay rent.”

“What?”

You stood in front of Casper, hand on your hips, your lips pursed in a faux pout. It had been a few weeks since he had moved in and, as you were learning, you never tired of his reactions. Honestly, if he didn’t want to be teased, he shouldn’t have reacted in such cute ways. “I said you need to pay rent. It’s not fair that you’re living with me, and I’m the only one contributing to the finances around here. It’s unfair, I say. Unfair!”

“Sunshine,” Casper said. He was lounging on your shared bed, Azarael resting in the crook of his arm, as he flipped through one of your books. His legs were crossed, and it was unfair how pretty he looked, with his long hair spilling across the blankets. It sent your mind wandering to places that were probably better not to mention. “Did you forget the part where I was on the run from my old job?”

“Come on, Casper.” The bed creaked as you sat right next to him, snatching the book out of his hands. “Don’t you know there are other ways to make rent?”

“I swear, if this is a set-up to one of your jokes again–”

“It’s not a joke at all,” you interrupted. “I’m taking this very seriously.”

Casper let out an unimpressed sigh. You shifted so he was caged between the shelter of your arms, one on either side of him. His face flushed a familiar pretty pink as you hovered over him.

“What– what are you thinking…?”

“Well…” You wiggled your eyebrows, and Casper snorted. “I was thinking. I won the bet, right? So you’re mine. And there is one asset you have…” You picked up one of his hands, fiddling with the edge of his glove, fingers dancing along his pale wrist.

Casper’s mouth parted, eyelashes shading his cheeks. It was refreshing to see how much your presence affected him. “What… kind…?”

Your fingers slipped under his glove, slowly sliding it off his hand, until you could touch his cool skin, interlacing your fingers together, hands pressed palm to palm.

“You know…” You leaned in closer, voice trickling to a whisper as your lips brushed his ear. “With your body.”

Casper yelped as you kissed the shell of his ear. “Wh-what?”

“I mean… look at you, Casper.” With your other hand, you skated it along his torso. He shuddered, chasing your touch, like a sunflower following the sun. “You have such a nice body… You ought to put it to use…”

“What are you suggesting?”

“Well…” You blew a puff of air into his ear, and he squeaked. Cute. Your voice lowered as you whispered directly in his reddened ear. “You should… help me… clean the fridge.” You leaned back, holding up your hands, spreading out your fingers, an innocent smile on your face.

“What? That was not what you were insinuating. You– you’re doing this on purpose!” he accused. His chest was heaving, his face flushed, and his eyes kept chasing your lips as you grinned.

“What do you mean? All I suggested was a way for you to help me out,” you said. “It’s not my fault if your mind is in the gutter. Wow, what were you thinking I was implying? Honestly, Casper, it’s a problem if you want me so badly you keep taking my words in the wrong w–” You screeched as Casper surged towards you and wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you back down with him to bed. The two of you bounced on the surface from your sudden landing. Casper snuggled his head into the crook of your shoulder. Was this his idea of revenge? If so, maybe you needed to play more pranks on him.

“You are such the worst roommate ever,” he huffed. You could hear the frown in his voice.

“You love me,” you accused, leaning back into his chest.

“I would not… put it in such a way…”

“Can’t deny it because you can’t lie, huh?”

“...Be quiet.”

He was so cute! It was unfair how cute he was. And no one else would have the privilege to know that. Because Casper was yours, and you never planned to let him go.

iv. Duo

Was it wrong to think your partner looked hot when he was covered in blood?

Because, wow, you could not look away when Casper leaned against the stone alley wall, scythe hung loosely at his side, wiping his hand along his cheek, smearing blood across his gloves.

“Can’t look away, Sunshine? Am I that attractive?” he asked casually, and you stuck your tongue out at him. You had to be careful so that you didn’t inflate his ego to a bigger size than it already was, even if what he said was true.

“I was just thinking about all the blood you’re covered in,” you said. “For the self-proclaimed greatest reaper in our department, you’re awfully messy.”

“We were assigned a tough job,” he said. “Not that you would understand how hard it can be.”

“You’re the one who told me to stay back and handle the small fry,” you protested. “I could easily have done what you did.”

“Sureeee. Give it a couple centuries, Sunshine.”

As much as you hated the smugness in his voice, it was irrefutably true that Casper did have an edge over you when it came to reaping souls. It didn’t help that you only started a few months ago, and that Casper had laughed when you first swung your own scythe and missed your target by a few feet. It took you a few weeks to get a hang of wielding that thing (it was so much heavier than Casper made it seem), but it did make you feel ridiculously cool when you did, so at least you had that going for you.

There’s a heaviness to the way Casper leans against the wall, a weight to his shoulders that wasn’t there before this recent mission. The taint, you realized. Luckily, that was one area where you excelled over Casper.

You walked over to where he stood, not pausing your pace until you were directly in front of him. You cupped your hands around his cheeks, bringing his face to yours. You were probably getting all the blood from his face onto your gloves, but who cared? Again, Casper covered in blood was hot as hell (pun intended).

Your face wavered in the reflection of Casper’s eyes. “Sunshine?” he asked.

You ran a thumb along his bottom lip, and Casper’s breath hitched. There was an easier way to do this, but why would you take the boring and easy route when you could have some fun? Without another word, you brought your lips together. It was only supposed to be a gentle kiss, but Casper’s lips were soft and plump and glacial, and super biteable, and the way he leaned into your touch like he wanted to feel every inch of you, well… It was irresistible. You slipped your tongue into the opening of his mouth provided by his kiss, flicking it teasingly across his own, pulling back before he could react.

“That was… unnecessary…” Casper said, panting. There was a faint blush across his cheeks like a dusting of stars. You grinned as you licked your bottom lip, as if you could still feel his taste.

“Not at all,” you chirped. “I mean, I was just helping you out. Don’t you feel a lot better now? No more taint, right?”

“You don’t need to get rid of the taint through direct skin to skin contact–”

“But it’s more fun that way, right?” You leaned in closer, watching as Casper tensed as your presence, his throat bobbing up and down as he swallowed. “You can’t lie. You like it when I kiss you, right?”

“I…”

“Casper,” you teased. “You know, you’re irresistible when you look like this.”

“Covered in blood? Fresh off a mission? You are ridiculous. And strange. And you have odd taste. Your shamelessness knows no bounds.”

“Hm… You know, I’m not sure the taint is quite gone,” you said, pouting. “Just to be safe, we should kiss again.”

You sealed his lips with yours just as Casper’s lips parted in protest. But he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him. How cute. Casper simply couldn’t be honest with his feelings whatsoever.

But that was okay. He was your partner, your lover, the other half of your soul, quite literally. Where did you begin, and where did he end? It no longer mattered. You were bound in such a way that meant the two of you could never be parted.

It would just be you, and your adorable little reaper, for the rest of eternity.

v. Our Wedding

“What would you like first? Dinner? Bath? Or maybe… me?”

You batted your eyelashes at Casper, who covered his reddened face with his hands, letting out a deep groan. “By the nine hells, why are you like this?”

You struck a pose, sticking your hip out as you winked. “I was just asking. My cute little husband has worked so hard today, and I wanted to make sure he was well taken care of when he came back.”

“...Just let me in.”

You pouted, but willingly stepped out of the doorway to give Casper entry into your apartment. It had only been a few weeks since your wedding, but the two of you had struck up a nice little routine. You left the apartment for work before Casper did, kissing his forehead as he grumbled sleepily before you headed out. Casper got home after you did, which meant you had an hour or two to prepare little pranks like this for when he got back.

In those few hours in which you waited for him to return home, your mind drifted to him more often than you wanted to admit. How could you tell him that you missed him when he was gone? It would have been embarrassing, and more than that, made Casper insufferable.

“You’re the one who loved me enough to marry me,” you said, closing the door softly as you stepped in after him.

“Which was… perhaps a hasty decision,” he grumbled.

“Well, too bad. I’m yours now. Forever!” You grinned triumphantly, holding up your hand, pointing to your finger on which a golden ring gleamed. The ring was set with two sparkling white stones and a slightly larger red gem. You had always thought this, but… “The colors are sort of cliche, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?” Casper protested. “White and red are really good colors. A perfect combination!”

“Well… They’re your colors, aren’t they?” you said coyly. “It’s kinda like you wanted to mark me in some kinda way. Possessive, aren’t we?”

Casper cleared his throat, unable to meet your probing gaze. “W-well, what is wrong with that? I don’t want anyone to flirt with you. Or try to take you away from me. Or think that you didn’t have anyone waiting for you at home.”

“I doubt anyone is going to flirt with me,” you said. “Do you know how hard it is to meet people in our modern society? With the economy the way it is? No one has the time to flirt with strangers.”

“Well, that’s better for me, then,” he muttered.

“Oooh, you’re jealous,” you said. “You love me so much.”

“Nine hells…”

“You love me to death. You love me so much it’s embarrassing!”

“You’re the one who proposed to me,” Casper accused. “So you have no room to talk.”

“Well, yeah…” You really didn’t have a comeback for that. “I wouldn’t marry someone I didn’t love, you know?”

Casper took a step forward, a smug expression on his face as he advanced. “Oho? So maybe you’re the one who loves me so much it’s embarrassing.”

“Oh, get your own jokes,” you grumbled.

“It’s no joke at all, Sunshine.” He was close. Way too close. Close enough that he took your hand and reverentially brought it to his lips, kissing each finger. His lips lingered on your ring finger, and he kissed it again. “So you can get flustered, too, I see.”

Your ears burned. What sort of face were you making? One that made Casper look at you with a self-satisfied expression, that was for sure. “Hey!”

“Hey, you know what. I changed my mind,” Casper said.

“Changed your mind?” you asked.

Casper looped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. “What you asked earlier. I changed my mind. I do want something from you, after all.”

Without warning, he kissed you on the lips. Gently, tenderly. Like he was offering prayers to you, each kiss so sweet and thoughtful it made your heart burst. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer, angling your head. Casper let out a little moan as you yanked the strands, and your eyebrows raised. Interesting. Very interesting. This was definitely something you were going to use later.

“I love you,” you murmured against his lips.

“I… love you, too,” he breathed.

Maybe in the future, the two of you would annoy each other. You would fight. Get angry. Then, you would make up. Maybe you would cry. But you would have happiness, too. He would make you laugh, and smile, and feel a love so deep you would never be able to love anyone else in that way again. But it didn’t matter. What mattered was here and now. What mattered was that you chose him, and as long as Casper was by your side, you could do anything. Go anywhere. Be anyone.

Luckily, all you wanted to be was to be his.

#liya writes #a date with death #casper #adwd casper #a date with death casper #casper x reader #a date with death x reader #adwd grim #a date with death grim #grim x reader #CASPER U HAVE ME FUCKED UP WITH UR NAME IDK HOW TO TAG THIS!!#anyways. hi guys. my bad for being insane over casper lol (tucks hair behind ear)#ive never wanted to devour a man more in my life.

514 notes · View notes

astolary · 10 months

Text

"𝐌𝐘, 𝐌𝐘 ."

( Synopsis ) What I see the genshin characters saying after "My, my" because I think it's so attractive for some reason.

( Author's Note ) I wasn't able to update as much as I wanted to this summer, but let's just say I got injured 🫠 Have some fluff ehe

( Pairings ) Established Relationship. Separate! Albedo, Ayaka, Candace, Heizou, Kaeya, Kazuha, Tighnari, Venti, Wanderer, and Yelan x GN! Reader

( Content Warnings ) Slightly suggestive. Use of pet names. Flirting. Wanderer uses foul language. Reader wearing makeup.

( Word Count ) 2.7k+ words, 200 to 300 words per character // NOT EDITED!

"My, my, your shyness is quite, adorable..." ALBEDO would hover his lips over yours, cupping your cheek against his palm. He whispers slyly, using the smug tone he knows you adore.

His heart would fly as he watches you clutch the hems of his coat. "What's on your mind?" He asked you, voice all breathy and eyes half-lidded.

You barely registered the movement of Albedo's arm pulling you closer to him. All you could focus on was the way his eyes reserved an overwhelming amount of affection for you; the smirk crawling on his face when he knew he managed to pull off a successful surprise—

—the aggressive valberry pink and mint blue paint that stuck out on his face like a sore thumb; alongside Klee's giggles carried by the wind in the background.

"I knew making paint bombs with the two of you would be a mistake." You managed to stammer out. Albedo leaned his forehead against yours and laughed lightly. Precious.

"Big brother! Big sibling! Let's make more paint bombs!" Klee rushed to another room, presumably to get more paint.

Once Klee was out of sight, Albedo softly rubbed off the paint off your cheeks. "You have something over here..." He mumbled.

"And you have something everywhere." You chuckled, reaching over to his hair that somehow got stained with green paint.

Albedo watched you close your eyes to kiss him, his hand automatically reaching to the back of your head to kiss you deeper—

—his puckered lips landed on nothing. Thin air. "No flirting in front of kids." Your head rested on his shoulder.

Albedo will find a way to kiss you, somehow.

"My, my! You're quite graceful." AYAKA spoke with awe.

"I stepped on your foot plenty of times though..." You trailed off, your face making a disgruntled expression when you saw a bruise forming on top of her foot.

"Hm? What do you mean? You never stepped on my foot even once." Ayaka placed her hands on your shoulders. "Now, relax your shoulders. Chin up, dear."

You followed her instructions, Ayaka cutely clapping in the background when you pulled it off successfully. "Yes! Great job!"

"Now move your arm around my waist, and I'll rest mine like this..." Ayaka demonstrated her instructions.

"Are you sure I should come to this banquet? I can barely follow your movement when we spar, much less when you dance. How can I learn how to waltz when I can barely do the previous two?"

Ayaka frowned at your lack of self-confidence. She lowered both your arms as you both stood in silence.

You were always the one who dispelled her worries when she was overthinking. You were always there to support her decisions and give your opinions about them, knowing she values the perspectives of others. You were always there to give her boosts of support when she was worried about being too uptight with the Traveler and Paimon; too formal and stiff with Thoma; or too shy to invite her brother to Komore Teahouse.

It's her turn now. This time Ayaka will do her best to become a pillar of support for you.

You yelped when Ayaka pulled you into a tight embrace. "A-Ayaka?"

Your voice quieted down when you saw the look in her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure you should come to the banquet! Unless, you don't want to, I can go by myself. We can just learn how to waltz for fun." She reassured you. Ayaka quickly picked up your hand so that both your arms were raised in the air.

"This will be exciting. Trust me."

Your face heated up. How can you not try for her?

"My, my... this is why I told you to be careful." CANDACE gently reprimanded you. The children just a few steps behind you celebrated another victory of "defeating the almighty adventurer in a race to success."

"Ack! Ugh, is that... it's Celestia! Is that a beautiful guardian I see that will guide me to my eternal rest?" You collapsed from sheer exhaustion—which was just falling into Candace arms as she shook her head fondly— further encouraging the children to run off and brag to their parents.

"You're great with kids." Candace whispered into your ears, lowering both of you onto the sand.

"Actually," You started. Candace lips curved into a smile. "They are devils. One of them was about to cry when I ran ahead of them by an inch. An inch."

Adoration crept onto her skin while watching you ramble on and on.

There was never a day where you reminded her how she was both the sun and moon. Spreading warmth and resurfacing the happiest memories; becoming a guiding light during the darkest times and representing hope like a shining beacon.

But to Candace, you were the sunrise and sunset. Fleeting moments that connected time and wind. Foremost, was the Guardian of Aaru village— but above that she was your Guardian. She promises to cherish you and cherish you and cherish you and cherish you—

"—obviously I'll feel guilty if I make a kid cry." You finished. You glanced up only to see Candace spacing out. "Uhm, you there?"

"Hm? Ah, p-pardon me."

Now if only there was a way she could picture your cute expression once you started accusing her of spacing out.

"My, my~ I knew my charms would make you all cute like this." HEIZOU would melt his body against yours, pecking your neck with satisfaction. Heizou's eyes would naturally close after hearing your bashful chuckles, his demeanour relaxing.

Languidly, his head would fall to your chest, trying to match the steady beats of your heart. (Quite foolish for the Shikanoin Heizou, but can you really accuse him when you're acting so squishable like this?)

He lazily threw one arm over your waist, attempting to bring you closer to him. You lifted his arm in the air in return and instead slung your leg over his body— dropping his arm back onto your thigh.

Heizou cheekily squeezed your thigh and chuckled when you hit his chest. "Heizou!"

"Yes?"

"You're usually touchy today." You couldn't help but comment.

"Could you really blame me?" He mused, charmingly raising one eyebrow.

You scrunched your nose in annoyance, pinching the side of his torso. A sense of satisfaction filled you after hearing him yelp.

"What was that for?"

"I love you~"

"That doesn't answer my question." Heizou hugged you tightly.

You didn't answer, only laughing airily.

Your hair was all over the place despite staying curled up in his arms the whole evening. Heizou was pretty sure he saw drool fall on the side of your mouth, but you're still such a beauty.

A lot of people claimed that you were lucky to have Heizou as your lover. But he knew better.

Heizou was, if not, the luckiest person in the entire universe to have you as his significant other.

"My, my... Who knew you had this fighting spirit in you?" KAEYA heaved his chest for breath. His back landed on the rough surface of the training grounds, some stray blades of grass tickling his cheek. "This is, quite surprising..."

You pointed your weapon towards him in triumph, beads of sweat rolling down the side of your face and neck. "Yield." A charming smile appeared on your face.

Kaeya subtly shivered from the cold his vision emitted. "Oh, you're still up for another round of our evening spars?" You teased.

The Calvary Captain's eyes soften. Your usual humble self, now standing proud and confident under the moonlight. Beams of Teyvat's moon filtered through the crevices and gaps of Mondstadt's walls, giving him a perfect view of you under the spotlight.

He closed his eyes in satisfaction. "I yield. I yield." He patted your leg.

You lowered your weapon beside him with a thud, and slowly sat down beside him. "Something on your mind?"

Then, he opened his eyes. He struggled to accept the soft feeling of your hands running through his hair; the way you looked down on him with a kind expression.

His mind then travelled to the memories of you helping him with his studies before becoming an official knight, taking care of him despite his tendencies to drink too often, inviting him for dinner— then he realised.

"—Yeah." That's what's on my mind.

"Care to share?"

Kaeya's voice dropped an octave lower. "You're amazing."

"My my... It seems that all I need to do to make my lovely dove go timid is to do this..." KAZUHA smiled against your back. He swayed you both side to side, his smile growing more prominent when you held his hands.

"Your bangs, it's tickling my me." You snickered.

"Oh? Is it, disturbing you?"

"No, not at all."

"So... you wouldn't mind if I do this?"

You were about to ask what, until his fingers slowly crawled to your sides. Hearty chuckles escaped the ronin while you guffawed.

"Stop— STOP! PLEASE HAHHAHAHA!"

"Should I stop? Or should I not?"

—Kazuha's vermilion eyes could put the canvas of Inazuma's sunsets to shame, and his platinum hair makes the first snow look inadequate in comparison.

He was gentle in nature, like the long kisses he leaves on your cheeks. At the same time, Kazuha was courageous, standing up for what he believed in despite the impending chance of failure.

Yet, your eyes could reflect mirages of past lives Kazuha swore he lived with you. He would melt into pools of wonder when you leaned in to give him a long, loving kiss right on the lips. Kazuha always finds his hands slipping inside your garments, rubbing sensual circles on your body. (His hands felt perfect on you as if he did this a thousand and thousand times again.)

You were shy, yet so breathtakingly amazing and funny once you opened up.

So Kazuha will continue doing his best to make you smile and laugh with whatever chance he gets.

"My, my! Who knew my lotus would be this clumsy." TIGHNARI would click his tongue light-heartedly, yet his eyes are filled with mirth. He would sigh fondly, watching you laugh sheepishly at the mess behind you.

His tail would swish in a relaxed manner, his ears naturally twitching in delight after hearing you apologize profusely. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hit the paperweight..."

You yelped when he flicked your forehead. "Don't apologise, it's just an accident. We can clean it together, no?"

You agreed and quickly knelt down to gather the papers. Tighnari kneeled down beside you, collecting the sheets on your opposite side.

Usually, he would sigh at the small inconvenience when he would clean up messes. But not when he did it with you.

Tighnari was familiar with the mundaneness you brought into his life; a refreshing atmosphere compared to the hectic schedules and adventures he's grown used to.

He vividly remembers the strong scent of food that would waft through the air if you prepared meals— only for him to join you and admire the concentrated look on your cute face while cooking. The times you would hum tunes in the shower as he stops his work and closes his eyes, momentarily relaxing at your unique voice.

"Alright, we're done." You sighed in relief. Quickly, you pecked his cheek as a thank you.

Tighnari pecked your cheek back.

You made the mundane so exciting in his life. Never has he felt so alive looking forward to coming home to you after a tiring day. The forest looked greener; the flowers were blooming into even brighter colours; and the time he spent with you was so rejuvenating and new.

So don't mind Tighnari if you catch him drifting just a tad, tad bit from research, doing chores alongside you.

"My, my, my Cecilia is so loving..." VENTI swore if there was ever a day he wanted to die, it would be today. Right at this moment, time, day hour minute second millisecond—

"You made food for me!" Venti sobbed.

If there was ever a day you wanted to die of embarrassment, it would be today. Right at this moment, time, day hour minute second millisecond— "Venti..." You trailed off.

Venti dramatically removed his hat and brought you in for a hug, the box of food you brought for him smooshed between you both. "Mwah! Mwah!"

He playfully made smooching noises and littered your face with pecks. "Venti!"

You laughed and tried to use your hand as a barrier, but it only made Venti interlock your hands together and twirl you around. Unceremoniously, you both fell to the grass, Venti using his hat to shield your head from the fall. (Not that you would have hurt yourself when he's the Anemo Archon.)

He buried your face into your chest, the food long forgotten. "Venti! The food!"

Venti giggled, the sound of bells chiming and dandelions dancing in the wind. "I guess that means you need to make some more food, ehe."

You sighed longingly. "Maybe I should stick to getting you apples only..."

"What? No!" Venti wrapped his arms around you and rolled you both around. You both tumbled on the soft grass under the Tree of Windrise.

"Joking, joking..." You placed his hat back on top of his head. "...Are you free for dinner?"

"Hmmm..." Venti thought for a second. "I have a gig this evening, but I can spare you a tune or two!" He flopped his body on top of yours.

"Thank you for taking care of me..." I love you.

"My, my... I knew you were clumsy, but not this clumsy." WANDERER would cackle at your misery, seeing you frown (cutely) at him, redoing your eyeliner for the nth time.

He stretched his back with a yawn, circling behind you as you leaned forward to see yourself clearer in the mirror. "Hurry up, will you? Why do you even bother fixing your eyeliner? We're going to be late meeting Nahida."

"I want to look presentable meeting Lesser Lord Kusanali." You rebutted, "Now leave me alone, besides I was the one who helped you with your eyeliner in the first place."

"I didn't ask for your help."

"Yeah because I decided I wanted to help you as your partner."

"Oh, so you wouldn't help me if I wasn't your partner?"

"Maybe."

"Tsk."

"Now, now. We're about to meet Lesser Lord Kusanali, not go to war." You turned around.

"So, how do I look? Is the eyeliner even?"

Wanderer paused to take in your appearance. His eyes trailed to the soft fabrics that complimented your figure; the jewels and golds adorned on your skin; the subtle makeup enticing your features—

—the sunlight making your eyes glow brighter; the air seemingly lighter; your hands your hair your nose your smile your lips— fucking hell.

"Come closet, idiot." He grasped your chin rather gently, tilting your head slightly to the side. "It's fine." You look stunning with or without makeup.

"Let's go. Hurry up, we're late."

"My, my... now how did we get ever into this position." YELAN sarcastically remarked. "The dirt's staining my fur coat."

You both hung upside down from a tree, wrapped tightly with disgusting, slimy, ropes adventurers probably used to pull up something underground. The both of you were lucky the sun was still as bright as ever— and extremely luckier, you were investigating the empty house with both Aether and Paimon. "This suspect is getting out of hand..."

"Sorry..." You sheepishly laughed. "...Happy Lantern Rite?"

"Save that for the evening." Yelan rolled her eyes. "You're fortunate." I love you.

"Hehe..."

You leaned forward slightly and closed your eyes. Yelan followed after, giving in to the temptation. Just a peck—

"Yelan! We found something! Bring (Name) and come here!"

—Yelan pushed you back lightly with her forehead, and sliced the rope that previously trapped you both. She landed elegantly; you on the other hand fell butt first with a disgraceful "oomph"

"We're coming!" Yelan picked you up by the arm and briskly walked away.

You stood there, dazed, then screamed "I know you're flustered!" You picked up the pace to match her long strides.

Aether and Paimon didn't question why Yelan had a small quirk on her lips.

astolary 2023 — do not edit, repost, or translate. © genshin official art

#（ ❁ଓ.° ） astro! genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #albedo x reader #ayaka x reader #kamisato ayaka x reader #candace x reader #heizou x reader #shikanoin heizou x reader #kaeya x reader #kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #tighnari x reader #venti x reader #wanderer x reader #yelan x reader

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enchantressiren · 1 month

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❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥.❞

What will aftercare be like with your lover?

(For virgins and/or those who are having it with a virgin lover)

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Tips | Paid readings

This is a tarot card reading as 3 cards were used. I only used the lenormand deck for pile 2 and 3, while pile 1 had the normal deck.

Normal intuitive readings (@sefinaa)

Average word count: 1.1K

Author’s note

Signs were added.

Divider

Pile 1

Knight of Wands, the devil, and 2 of Wands.

Aftercare with your future lover or current lover is very beautiful. There is going to be a lot of playful energy and very soft kisses or soft touches with them. I can see them caressing your cheek after having sex because you feel stressed out or tired from the activity. You have this very drained energy, and I can feel it coursing through my body. I also get this sense that you just want lots of kisses or lots of cuddling, and I get the idea that they are actually going to do that for you at the end after they give you some back massages and then caress your lips because they are somewhat swollen after nibbling on them constantly. I see them using the palms of their hands to slowly massage in the essential oils, mainly lavender or mint, which is great for relaxation as they massage it onto your back and then downwards on your lower back, and they truly keep massaging it so you can feel more love from them, but also a sense of security. I see them caressing your bum and massaging it because you’re sore from there regardless of your gender, but I am feeling a lot of bottom energy here, so that comes into play. I can see them massaging your neck and your ears very delicately, like you are a fragile doll that they want to take care of constantly. I can then see them taking care of each of your toes as they completely massage them. This is like your spa, where you get to fully relax and enter a romantic atmosphere. I also see them kissing each part of your fingers and then your thighs, as a thank you for always being such a good lover for them.

After all of the massaging, I can feel this type of energy, like when people do their vows. They are going to give you a message of how thankful they are that you give them so much trust to take your virginity, but also that you also have a lot of trust with them to take care of you and the process, so I get the sense that you guys have a lot of dom spouses, lovers, or also friends with benefits (25%).

With the devil card, they will have playful energy with you, and they will also want to tease you for the mistakes that you made during it. Nothing of actually mocking you, but to make sure that you feel at ease. They will mainly tease you about how you squirted or how you moaned. I get a sense though that you guys feel slightly insecure about this, so make sure to set boundaries beforehand because you guys have a lot of playful lovers or roommates that are friends with benefits. I also see them chuckling as you were slightly drooling from all the sensation that you felt, and you guys are kind of dazed out. You also have a lack of understanding as to where you guys are, but understand that they do not mean it in a malicious way. They will ask you if you want extra kisses because you feel slightly tired, and you’re just going to let them without fully grasping what they meant, and when they do kiss you.. you will kick them away like it’s second nature, so I feel like you guys are also fighters, or for you guys, it's more like a flight or a fight response, and that’s where the teasing will happen. Yeah, so my intuition tells me that a lot of teasing will come with your actions since you guys are so dazed out and you guys don’t really match your usual personality, which is reserved and serious, but also sense of confidence and fast-forward? Fast forward, as in, you guys think fast and do things fast, but in this scenario, it’s much slower.

The cards that I got have a similar color scheme of red, yellow, and orange, but are very light, and I feel that this is also the aura of both of you as of now. And in that moment, the red would indicate the passion and love you guys put out in the energy that you showed forth and the energy that is in the air right now. That people can feel as your face is glowing as the both of you are so into this moment, despite you being dazed, but in a way there is a lot of—you can just tell a story has happened—lovemaking. For yellow, I hear my intuition tell me that’s the happiness that you guys feel, the safety that you guys feel, and the security that was set into this: the fact that you trust the person that you had sex with without a care in the world, the fact that you showed them how comfortable you are with them. There is a lot of trust included in this, and I keep hearing trust in my head many times, as this is the way to say that this person is very trustworthy (hahah). For orange though, it’s a playful nature that your lover shows their respect for you for the trust you gave them or the love that you showed them. You are very secretive, so you are picky with what you desire, and for you to trust them and give them your virginity makes them feel so fucking loved. You don’t even understand it. The love that I feel right now that is coursing through my body as I do your reading is so fucking gorgeous that I’m giggling, and I feel blushing like there is so much happiness inside, and that is what they will feel too.

I finished this reading at 1010. This angel number symbolizes spiritual awakening, loving yourself (showing appreciation), and having love in a relationship (the genuine ones). This fits your reading because the lover that you have and the one that you have chosen is genuinely a good person, but you are also picking someone that aligns with you as your higher self, and the path that is chosen for you also fits into the spiritual awakening. You have a sense of love and respect for yourself. That’s why I have this sense of understanding that you guys will actually set boundaries before hand, and when you do forget this reading and you do set those boundaries, it will appear to you. That’s why I feel that there’s also a huge feeling of trust, which is why I repeated it so many times, as it was like the only word that came to mind. I also get the sense that you guys actually enjoy the number 10, or that you keep seeing 1010, and this is your sign. The lover that you have in mind as you read this, is your future lover, and you already knew it because they kept giving you signs that they had feelings for you, so just go with the flow, and everything will come together in divide timing or for you, whatever fits right in the path choose.

Tips are always appreciated, thank you.

Pile 2

The bouquet, The whip, and The stork.

Right off the bat, why do you desire to have a toxic lover? Do you find it appealing because of the media? Do you like or feel as if you deserve pain because that is not the case. People are deserving of love despite their past, because if one person does not receive love, they get stuck in an addiction of negativity, and this is where you are at. This pile is sad, and the cards that I got weren’t good either. The energy overall is very gloomy, and the majority of you guys sabotage yourself for the fun of it or that in a way you can earn satisfaction because of the adrenaline. But this is not good. You can do as you please with your life, but I am someone who is honest, and I will not sugarcoat this pile, so let’s start.

The person you gave your virginity to was your ex or a toxic boyfriend. They are your current lovers. This is purely based on current lovers, so if this is not your pile, pick the other one that you were so drawn to.

This person will not give you aftercare. This person was very aggressive during sex, and you already know it will happen. You were planning on it since you liked the idea of dangerous fun. You already know that it affects your social life and makes you feel very depressed. Even if there’s aftercare, it’s just going to be a small peck on your lips, and they will just leave. You have this belief that abuse is flattering or that it’s sexy when it’s not. You also always thank them when they do the bare minimum. They gave you flowers, so you fawn over them, and they thrive on your flattery and love it. You feed into their narcissistic tendencies, and you know it does, and you keep doing it because it’s fun. You allow yourself to get stuck in a rabbit hole because it’s fun. Everything in the spot that you do is toxic fun, and this is not something you deserve. You keep telling yourself that you deserve it because you keep getting stuck in the same loop. You keep allowing bad people to come into your life because you can’t say no to them. You desire friendship and love, because being lonely is so hard for you. But being lonely is the process of finding people who are good to you and who deserve you. Your inner child is hurting so badly, but you just don’t care because you have given up. So take this reading as a sign to go back, leave the person, and find someone good for you.

With them, there are always arguments. You guys are always going to fight, no matter what you do, so do not go back to them to try to fix it. You cannot fix the person. You cannot fix people who do not want to be fixed, it is simply impossible because they must fix it. They are their own person; you are your own person, how the hell are you supposed to fix them? Fix yourself! There cannot be a spiritual awakening, or a change in your life that you keep seeking if you do not fix it. How can you find happiness in your life if you stay with the person who causes you so much stress and anxiety? How can you seek opportunities in your life if you do not end the cycle with a toxic person in your life? I do not care how attractive they are, I don’t care how rich they are. My love, if you do not end something bad in your life, how are you supposed to move forward in your life? The stork represents change and the end of the cycle, but even I cannot read your cards the way you desire if you cannot fix yourself. There are no ifs and buts. There are dos and don'ts. The goal is to leave the toxicity out of your life and to be happy. You wonder why you’re so stressed out, why you get so much acne, and why you’re eating so much food. This is why! You were looking for signs upon signs from the universe or whoever you believe in, but when you get the sign, you ignore it. This IS your sign, and I’m telling you that this is not for you. This is supposed to be a cute reading with aftercare by your lover—you will not get any aftercare. Do not give your virginity to them, they do not deserve it. You know who deserves it? Someone who’s going to give a shit about you. Someone who is going to love you so much and show you so much kindness—like a king or queen or princess or prince, whatever you desire—is who deserves your virginity.

You do not deserve someone who treats you like a fucking object, sweetheart. You do not deserve someone who steals from you. I know they steal from you, and you know it too. You think you deserve to be treated like a slut because you know that they sleep around with people that they tell you that they won’t. Some of you guys have such toxic lovers that they cheat on you for the thrill of it, and is this okay for you guys? No. This is not okay. This is not what people deserve. Even if you had a shitty past, and you did a lot of crap and you’re not part of it.. okay?? People change, they move on from their past, and they improve themselves as person, and I know for a fact you guys have as well. Some of you guys have really crappy pasts where you bullied other people, and you have so much guilt about yourself that you cannot forgive yourself, but the people that you bullied have. They have forgiven you, so why can’t you? You don’t deserve this crap. Find someone who treats you well and will accept your past. Some of you guys have cheated in the past, and you guys feel the same guilt as the people who have bullied.. okay?? So, forgive yourself, and then improve yourself as a person instead of sulking and letting this happen to you because this is not worth it. I feel so much anger for you guys, not because of what is happening but because of what you’re doing to yourself. Stand up for yourself for God's sake, and tell them you want to break up. When you break up, that is your change. Ask yourself if you want to change, and if you do, then do it. Why are you waiting? What do you gain from waiting? Nothing but more pain and misery, so go ahead and break up with their ass, because you don’t deserve that.

Signs: this pile, a red car, fermented grapes (wine), 6666, 998, 2:13 AM, 1116, sun, turnpike, orange (citrus), and toenail.

Tips are always appreciated. Thank you.

Pile 3

The house, the garden, and the book

This pile just had their first time in their family home while their family was downstairs or they were coming back home. There is such a sneaky vibe between the both of you, as in, you guys like to do things sexually in public. Not sex because this is your first time, but like touching each other in public like hickies. Sometimes you guys think that people can tell you guys are touching each other sexually, but no one can tell. You guys are like a mysterious book, and even as you read through the books, you cannot find anything. This is very secretive for you guys, but I also hear that it’s in a way sacred too. I’m getting the energy that you guys mainly wanted to have sex in the family home because you have overprotective parents that do not treat your lover with the respect that they deserve, so in a way, you’re mocking them or at least biting them back. But you feel very comfortable with your lover, so this is like your protection, as they are your armor. Also, see that the both of you are kind of laughing behind their backs, as in I told you so or that—I'm getting a flashback in your past of you either yelling to them about this or at least imagining that you were going to tell them that you were going to give your lover your virginity or that you were going to marry the “bastard.” Because at first this was supposed to piss them off, but you fell for your current or future lover.

So how is aftercare going to be for the both of you? I see them coming back to your room with a cup of milk, some cookies, and a sandwich. You guys enjoy food a lot, and you guys eat a lot of sweets, so for them, this is like a way to reciprocate their appreciation for you. However, my intuition tells me there is a symbol for the milk. When Santa comes, you give him milk and cookies as an expression of gratitude for the gifts. You are the gifts to your lover, as they are your Santa Claus, and in this way, you guys can do your own thank you. But I’m also hearing that sometimes milk can be very cold, but it also helps you grow. You see yourself as a cold person, and you try to do things to improve yourself, but it never goes your way because of your family, specifically one of your baby sisters. I get the energy that a majority of you guys are either the middle child or the oldest, hence the rebellious nature I felt earlier. You came to the realization that the person that you are with or that you will be with is your reason to grow, as they are such a sweetheart. Even though your family cannot see it since they have a really cold, resting face and personality. This reminds me of the troupe: I hate everyone, but you. Also, intuition tells me they do help you grow because they are so patient with you, and they want to see you smile and get out of your comfort zone without harming yourself in the process.

Coming back to aftercare, after they come back to you with cookies, milk, and the sandwich. They’re going to clean you up with a warm, fresh towel to clean the residue off your body and the passion you guys created. I see them starting off very slowly because your legs are very sensitive. And when they do clean, your legs will jolt a bit. And they don’t want to hurt you at all, so they will dab around the leg area and dab the sweat and semen that’s on your body. Then, when you feel a bit calmed down and you've finished your sandwich, they will ask you, “do you want me to wipe you off or do you want to do it instead?” And you’re going to feel flushed for some reason; maybe it’s due to the fact that you came to the realization that you were naked. I get the feeling that everyone in this pile is somewhat insecure about their bodies. Especially being naked, and coming to this conclusion after the sensation of being horny, leaving your body is a big deal. So you’re going to feel extremely uncomfortable, and they will notice it, so they will give you the towel and profusely apologize for making you uncomfortable until you explain the reasoning to them. They will understand it and then leave only for you to grab their hand and make you clean them while staring into their eyes, reassuring them that it’s ok—this is your key moment of healing. After they clean you up, the both of you are going to cuddle for the rest of the night, and then you will wake up in their arms with a bright smile because you did exactly what you wished for. Finally having sex with somebody who actually gives a shit about you for once, and this time they will not play you like a fiddlestick.

Signs: Santa, chocolate chip cookies, Oreos, orange cake, orange soda, cream soda, hugs, porn, embarrassment, 8, and 429

Tips are always appreciated. Thank you.

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parkvcrs · 4 months

Text

Dating Thomas Hewitt Would Include…

WARNING(S): brief mentions of cannibalism, violence, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, restraints, etc.

NOTES: i recently watched ‘the texas chainsaw massacre: the beginning’ for the first time and while i didn’t like the main cast, thomas made it worthwhile. loved every second he was on screen. :))

• You don’t know how exactly, but out of all your friends (Chrissie, Bailey, Dean, and Eric), you were the only one that Thomas showed mercy to and when it came to hurting your well-being— whenever it was brought up, it was always instigated by his Uncle Charlie or “Hoyt”— he seemed always hesitant to do so.

- And if Thomas had to relocate you for some odd reason, he’d be gentle with you. Additionally, he’d go out of his way to bring you food, water, fix your hair to make you look all pretty, and even get a wet rag to wash the dried blood (not yours, thankfully) from your skin. It confuses you how a man coming from a disgusting and cannibalistic family was touching you as if you’d break. He’s strange, but endearingly because if he wasn’t, you’d be a goner.

• In your time in the hands of the Hewitt family, you made friendly conversation with Thomas the most. It took a while to get used to him and while he prefers not to talk, you don’t mind one bit. Since he’s practically out of touch with the rest of the world, you take it as your responsibility to catch him up on music, specifically the songs and bands you like the most, and promise him that you’ll show him every song you’ve mentioned when you get out of your restraints.

- It took some time before you were able to get out of your restraints. After all, you are the family’s captor, they can’t just have you running out of the house now.

- It took an ungodly amount of time before the family put their trust in you and removed your restraints. And to their surprise, you didn’t even try to run away.

- In fact, you could always be found following Thomas around like a lost puppy. It was truly a sight to behold. Luda Mae and a few of her friends that she’d invite over for tea would always make jokes about you falling head over heels for the boy whilst his uncle was less than impressed and would always proceed to make fun of Thomas and his condition.

• Thomas isn’t stupid. He knows how much of a scumbag Charlie is, but it’s mainly because of how much you voice on how you don’t feel safe around him, so Thomas protective over you and whenever you feel uncomfortable, you know to come running to him where you can be safe.

• Also… Thomas doesn’t know how to slow dance and while you’re not the best teacher because of your lack of experience, it didn’t make things any less special when you tried to show him the basics.

- It was a very special moment in Thomas’ book, one that he’ll cherish forever, especially when you decided to rest your head on his chest where you could his heart race.

• It shouldn’t go without saying that Thomas is incredibly touch-starved. After a childhood and young-adulthood of being completely touch-starved, he’s had turned into an adult who was both desperate for and terrified of touch.

- You had to ease him into it since he was initially afraid that you’d be rough with him but after reassuring him that there is no reason to be afraid, it’s easy sailing for Thomas. He’s handsy, to say the least. He likes to press his leg against yours when you sit next to each other at dinner, pressing a kiss to your shoulder while he holds you at night, hugging you from behind while you’re working on something, or fixing your hair — even though he knows you don’t need help with something like that…

//////

author’s note: MY BABY MYYYYYY BABY

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lilirari · 7 months

Text

𐙚 ⋆୨୧˚ KING OF MY HEART ⋆ ˚ ꩜ ｡

𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. summary : charles' girlfriend releases an album full of love songs to commemorate his special day.

𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. pairing : charles leclerc x fem! singer! reader

𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. faceclaim : cho miyeon of (g)i-dle

𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. author's note : ahhh this is my first f1 related work + smau !! happy birthday to charles my beloved ❤️‍🩹 he deserves all the love & happiness in this world T_T making this made me realise that i don't know much western celebs with suitable fcs for smaus like this 😭 please do comment some western fcs so that i can use them in my next smaus ! anyways it's a little rushed honestly but i hope you'll enjoy it <3

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram summertime happiness 🤍🫧

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charles_leclerc my pretty girl ❤️‍🩹

yourinstagram i love you baby <3

charles_leclerc i love you more, mon amour

yourinstagram i love you most !!

landonorris ew get a room 🙄

charles_leclerc you're just jealous because you're still single and you got no rizz

landonorris I HAVE RIZZ

yourinstagram LMAOOOOO ok sure pinocchio 🤥

landonorris you guys are BULLIES

yncharles4ever omg my parents !!! they look so good 😭😭

pinkyn the hair, the fit, the smile.. everything about yn >>>>

luvleclerc CHARLES' DIMPLES 🥹🥹🥹

ynlover127 HELPPPP NOT Y/N AND CHARLES GANGING UP ON LANDO AND HIS NO RIZZ AGENDA

motheryn they're right though.. he doesn't have rizz 😭

landonorris HEY I DO HAVE RIZZ !!!!

danielricciardo sure mate.. you keep telling yourself that

landonorris I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE DANNY

danielricciardo i AM on your side.. it's just that charles, y/n and all the others are right

liked by yourinstagram and charles_leclerc

landonorris i hate it here you're all bullies

yourinstagram we love you too lando 🫶

landonorris 🚶🏻‍♂️

mlnmarta the most gorgeous girl ever !!!

carla.brocker my sister 🥺💗

leclerc_pascale je t'aime, ma belle-fille ❤️

yourinstagram je t'aime maman 🩷

lorenzotl ❤️

arthur_leclerc je me suis bien amusé, belle-sœur ☺️

yourinstagram aww, i had fun too, thur ! 🥹🤍

cl16supremacy he called her sister-in-law !!! this is not a drill !! i repeat this is not a drill !!!!

httpsyn i love how y/n is so close with all the members of the leclerc family and not just charles :( <3

arthlercluvr "belle-sœur ", " ma belle-fille ", " my sister ".. she's definitely a part of the family now

teamoyn y/n i love you and i'm happy that you're spending time with your loved ones but when are you going to come back ? 😭

iheartyn the lack of y/n content (music wise) is killing me

ynisqueen the y/n drought will end soon stay strong my brothers and sisters

ynsglasses i wish i had a positive mindset like you 😭

ynisqueen TRUST ME SHE'LL BE BACK SOON !!! i can sense it

ynsglasses i hope you're right 😞🤞

yourinstagram 30 seconds ago

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yourinstagram

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yourinstagram my new album 'reputation' will be out on october 16th ! this is by far my best album yet and i'm honestly so proud of the songwriting i've done for this ! i can't wait to share it with you all <3 you can pre-order it now on my site ! special thanks to taylorswift for directing the music video and guiding me throughout the whole journey of making this album happen 🤍🖤

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charles_leclerc my stargirl !!! ☆

charles_leclerc wait oct 16... it's releasing on my birthday ???

yourinstagram yes 🤭

charles_leclerc judging by the aesthetics of these photos, your story update and seeing all the fan theories on x... i didn't do anything wrong, did i ? you're not going to break up with me through this album, are you ?

yourinstagram HELP CHARLES NO YOU DIDN'T AND NO I'M NOT 😭 you could never do anything wrong in my eyes.. i love you too much :( ♡ also you really shouldn't be on x reading those theories.. i can assure you that they're like only 10% accurate or so

charles_leclerc okay, love, i trust you 🤍 i can't wait to listen to it ! i'm sure it'll be amazing !

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taylorswift i had lots of fun helping you, sweetheart ! i'm going to be streaming it on all platforms once it's out ☺️🤍

yourinstagram you're so sweet 😭😭 love you sm xx

oliviarodrigo the queen is back 🗣️🗣️🗣️

conangray BESTIE'S GOING TO EAT AND DEVOUR

lanadelrey 🤍🖤

danielricciardo album of the year

yourinstagram danny it's not even out yet 😭

danielricciardo i don't care it's the album of the year i'm already calling it

yourinstagram pleaseee i love u thanks for the support 😭🤍

yncore daniel's so real for this

stargirlyn we stan a supportive bestie

lilymhe YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS 🖤

francisca.cgomes my beloved ♡

landonorris i don't care if there's like only two months left before this year ends this album and all the songs are going to top my spotify wrap just you wait and see

yourinstagram NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT

landonorris NEVER GIVE UP RAHHH the grind is real !!!! 🗣️💪🔥

maxverstappen1 IT'S ABOUT DRIVE IT'S ABOUT POWER

oscarpiastri WE STAY HUNGRY WE DEVOUR

maxielmisser HELPPP WHAT IS WITH THIS REPLY SECTION

charlesxyn LMAOADHSHDH OSCAR ????

estiesbestie this is the funniest shit i've seen all day they're all so unhinged

goatifi wtf did fia feed the drivers today 💀

therock did someone call ?

ynnation IMCRYIGJSHDHSHD

carlando455 NOT THE ROCK APPEARING OUTTA NOWHERE GOODBYE

scuderiaferrari we'll be tuning in as well 😉

iheartyn y/n's reputation era... oh, she's so going to get back at all her exes, isn't she ?

24hrsofyn i was thinking the same thing too but she told charles that only 10% of the theories are true so...

ynarchive i think the aesthetics of this album might actually be misleading us and the songs might turn out to be so lovey dovey or 🩷🥰🧚🏻‍♀️💐🌈🍭

rosesforyn you're probably right ynarchive

leclerc_pascale impatiently waiting for the album to drop 🥰

ynisqueen YOOOOO WHAT DID I TELL YOU GUYS

anythingforyn never doubting you again girl

yncity next time we're on a y/n drought again, i'm coming to you

ynisqueen i feel so powerful

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc feeling sorry for carlos for the issue on his car today. crossed the finish line p5, it was the maximum we could've done today. by far the hardest race of my career physically... gonna sleep well tonight 😅

also big congrats to max for winning his third championship !

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yourinstagram you did so good, my darling 🥺🫶 i'm so proud of you !!

charles_leclerc merci, ma chérie ❤️‍🩹 please come to bed now.. i can't sleep without you

yourinstagram omw, baby <3

maxverstappen1 thanks mate ! you drove well today 💪

scuderiaferrari incredible effort, charles 🔥

schumisworld the third picture... i just know he's looking at y/n

leclerc_pascale repose-toi bien, mon fils 🫶

carlossainz55 ❤️

charlos.lesainz we love you charles 🥰

ferrarilover the way he's looking at y/n in the last pic.. he's so down bad fr 😭

pumamotorsport proud !! sleep well ❤️🤝

f1withamy sleep well, my goat !!!

ynsbiggestfan i need someone to look at me like the way charles looks at y/n 😞

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yourinstagram joyeux anniversaire, mon amour ❤️‍🩹 you've been by my side since day one and i can never thank you enough for everything you've done for me. i'm so proud of how far you've come and everything you've accomplished till now. i know that you'll achieve your dreams someday because you're the most determined and hardworking person i know so don't give up and just keep on trying to reach your goals, love.

and yes, the entire reputation album is my birthday gift to you. i couldn't just write a single song for you and leave it there so i went ahead and composed a whole album only for you. i hope you'll like your gift :p

i'm so glad to have met you on that one fateful day and i'm super proud to call you mine. you are my starboy, my home, the king of my heart and i will love you forever & always.

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charles_leclerc merci beaucoup, ma bien-aimée. je t'aime pour toujours 🤍

yourinstagram je t'aime, charles 🥹

landonorris you guys are so cute it's sickening 🤢

leclerc_pascale 🥰

scuderiaferrari the best couple on the paddock everyone !! we're so glad charles has such a wonderful partner like you, y/n 🫶

scuderiaferrari also reputation's been on repeat the entire day ! our queen slayed !!!

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redbullracing happy birthday charles !! and congratulations on the success of reputation, y/n ❤️🔥 our drivers have been bopping their heads to the songs all day long !

yncharles4ever MY PARENTS 😭😭 I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

reputationyn REPUTATION IS SO FIRE, Y/N !!! U DID AMAZING WE LOVE YOU

ynshousewife the king of her heart 🥹🥹🥹

ynisaqtpie imagine getting a whole album dedicated just to you on your birthday.. charles is the luckiest man ever

conangray goals !!! <3 loved your new album, bestie 🫂🫶

mlnmarta cutest lovebirds 🫶

joris_trouche ❤️❤️

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charles_leclerc 26 👑 celebrated today with my family. thank you all for the wishes and gifts, really appreciate it 🫶

also, to my darling y/n : thank you for making my day extra special by giving me the best birthday gift ever. i will cherish you and this album forever. i adore you so much, ma chérie, my end game, the queen of my heart 😘

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yourinstagram you're too sweet, baby ☹️ ily ily ily mwah <3

leclerc_pascale je t'aime mon doux enfant 🥰

arthur_leclerc 🫶

lorenzotl ❤️🔥

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angels4abby · 7 months

Text

— 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮? | 𝐚. 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧.

abby anderson x fem!reader. smut / kind of angsty. kinda proofread. men dni.

synopsis: you and abby have been friends for a while, but you start to to feel neglected when all her time goes to two new girls. she doesn’t know how you feel, until you suddenly snap.

content: public sex, angsty/comfort sex, public fingering, dina makes a quick appearance, mentions of smoking, a lot of use of the word ‘fuck’, fingering (reader!receiving), no outbreak/modern au, both reader and abby are in college, i think that’s it?

author’s note: finallyyyyy wrote something and posted it omfg. it’s not rlly proofread so it might suck LMFAO

Dina's complaining about her bitching professor while you're both strolling down the hallways. As much you want to listen, her voice is washed out by the white noise filling your ears, blood rushing through your veins. She’s right there, leaning against her locker with her bag slung lazily over her shoulder.

She looks so pretty in the morning, is your first thought. That's quickly interrupted though when you notice the girls hanging around her. They're both new, freshman. They're laughing at something Abby said, one of them standing a bit too close to her. That used to be you until about a week ago.

“Just go talk to her,” Dina tells you, pulling you out of your thoughts. You just shrug, pushing the thought away as quick as it came.

"No, if she doesn't want to be around me, then so be it. I can't force her," you respond, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill. There's no point in crying over something you can't fix.

“Fine then. Whatever you say. I got to go, but I’ll see you later,” Dina says, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze before leaving you to your own thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, you suddenly feel a firm tap on your shoulder. Your body tenses, instantly recognizing the touch. "Hm?" you hum, unable to trust your voice to sound steady.

“Wanna smoke with us later? Me and the girls. Around like 5?” The girls. Us. Us. Us.

Was she really that tired of hanging out with you? Was she bored? Or maybe she just liked them that much. The thought makes you grip your bag, your knuckles turning white at the contact. "No, I'm fine," is all your reply with, your voice unintentionally cold and harsh. You hate how distant and aloof you sound, but your too hurt to put up a front any longer.

“Why are you acting like this?” She questioned, playfully shoving you. An attempt to lighten the mood, but it only made you angrier. “I’m not acting like anything, Abby,” you mutter, blinking rapidly to stop any tears from falling. Why can’t she just leave and take her fucking girlfriends with her?

Abby just fucking laughs as if the two of you haven't been complete strangers for the past two, maybe even three weeks. "Jesus, what did I do to make you so bitchy?" She's so relaxed, so nonchalant, completely unaware of the pain she's causing you. It only intensifies your frustration.

“Fuck off, Abby.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚

You and Abby used to spend hours getting high on the playground after dark. It was just the two of you, talking about everything and anything, maybe even playing some music in the background. Now, you're alone, without a joint in sight.

It was pitiful, pathetic really. Sitting around, by yourself at a playground. Subconsciously waiting for someone who wasn’t going to arrive. The playground only seems dull now, a dumb place for a girl to be by herself.

“You having fun?”

Her voice startles you, catching you off guard. You ache to turn and say something, your eyes briefly shutting in response. You force yourself to keep swinging, kicking at the gravel beneath your feet. "Not really," you reply, your voice lacking any enthusiasm.

She sits on the swing next to you, gently rocking back and forth. “You done giving me the cold shoulder now?”

That’s when you lost it.

“I’m giving you the cold shoulder? For fucks sake, Abby, you’re so blind!” You didn’t even realize you were off the swing, looking down at her. “I’m sorry I’m not as fucking — funny or pretty the as the girls, but you didn’t have to do me like that.” By the end of your outburst, your breath is heavy, your lower lip trembling as tears blur your vision.

"What are you talking about?" she asks, taken aback by your sudden eruption.

"You don't talk to me anymore, Abs. You don't call or text. You don't want me anymore. You don't care," your voice trails off, barely above a whisper. Tears finally stream down your face, and you wipe them away with a shaky hand. You don't sound angry anymore, just heartbroken.

She stiffens, her hands clenching at her sides, her heart sinking as she sees the way you're looking at her. It's as if you're begging, pleading to be liked, to be loved. And she mentally berates herself for not realizing it sooner. You were right. She was oblivious, maybe even a bit foolish at times. The thought of you feeling neglected never crossed her mind.

She pulls you in by your waist, placing you in between her thighs. Her lips were parted and eyelids heavy as she looked down at you. “You’re not them. You don’t have to be them.” You weren’t sure where she was going with this, but her words make your insides twist.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, I just got lost in it. Thought you had better things to do," she whispers, her voice laced with remorse.

You shake your head at her, your chest heavy. “You guys just seemed to be hitting it off. Didn’t want to ruin it, y’know?” You stopped for a moment to breath. “I guess I just missed you, but it doesn’t matter,” your voice was bittersweet, your tears streaming down your face and onto the gravel beneath you.

Her hands moved down to your thigh, gently resting it there as your hands shake in front of you. She feels guilty, she feels sick. It’s gnawing at her that she made you feel like this, neglected and unwanted. Honestly, they had been a good distraction from her feelings about you, but it seems like she dragged it out for too long.

After a few beats of silence, she asked, “You don’t believe me?” She stood up from the swing, and you involuntarily started backing away. The gravel crunched underneath you as you backed away until you hit the main part of the playground.

“I’ll show you how much you mean to me,” she said, breathless, hoping her actions would convey what words couldn’t. You gulp, an odd rush of excitement coursing through you. She’s so close you can feel the warmth of her skin, the scent of weed still lingering heavy on her tank.

“Will you let me show you?” She asked, her hands finding your hips. You don’t know what her intentions are, all you can think about is that you’re on a playground at night, her hands roaming over your body and how much you fucking like her.

“Yes,” you whispered, out of breath even though you’d barely walked.

She took her right hand, slowly unzipping your pants before flicking open the button. You go to grab her wrist before she goes any farther. “Abs, we’re outsi—”

“It’s dark. No one will notice. We’ll be fine,” she whispers casually, like she has no cares in the world. As if she only care about in this moment and it feels so good.

Her hand continues down your panties, finding your clit. You let out a ragged breath as she presses down on it. Suddenly, her lips are on yours. You love her lips so much. So plush and pink and perfect. Makes you want to kiss them.

You get your chance when Abby’s lips connect with yours. You gently bite down on them, eliciting a moan from her. Pulling these noises from her so easily — has she kissed her before?

The thought distracts you as she picks you up, placing you on the playhouse platform and pulling your pants down to your ankles. Your jaw clenched and tears blur your vision again. Why do you have to be so fucking emotional?

Abby’s lost in the feeling of your body under hers, how fucking good you feel. It’s when she senses you freeze that she pulls away from where she was kissing your neck.

"Hey, hey, don't cry," she whispered, her voice laced with reassurance as she gently brushed away a stray tear cascading down your cheek. Her touch was soft, delicate, a gesture meant to show comfort and understanding.

The question escaped your lips, quivering with vulnerability, "Did you kiss her?" Your voice trembled, you wanted to take the question back as soon as the words left your mouth. You hated how your wavering actions were jeopardizing the chance to win her back. The way your voice quivered and sank into the depths of insecurity.

"No," she responded, her voice sincere. "I didn't kiss her. I never wanted to. It's only you." Her words spilled forth with an eagerness to prove that she was telling the truth, to remove any lingering doubts. She yearned to please you, to show you that your trust was not misplaced.

Her fingers moved down to your slit, flushing at the wetness beneath your panties, her fingertips careful to dip between your lips.

Your hips bucked against her hand, searching for any kind of friction as you kissed her again. Deeper, more passionate this time. Wanting her so fucking bad.

“Show me then,” you muttered, your voice muffled due to her tongue stuffed into your mouth. A thick finger pressed into your needy cunt and you whimper from the intrusion, your walls gripping it tightly.

“That’s it, baby,” Abby purred, looking fascinated at how your body moves for her, how warm and wet you feel around her.

Both of you have completely forgotten what the point of being out here was, your mind loosing its sense of self as she slips another finger into you, stretching you out nicely.

You tilted your head back, unintentionally exposing your neck to her, which she eagerly lunged at.

Her tongue smoothed over your supple skin, teasing and tasting as the thrusts of her finger gradually grew harder, your back arching pitifully.

Your hips lift off the platform of the steps, thighs quivering at the sheer sensation of being filled. Suddenly, her fingers experimentally curl, causing a broken cry to push past your lips.

You throb and twitch against her palm, your panties soaked, and a big, shamefully wet spot forming on your pants. You want to be embarrassed, but you can’t bring yourself to, not with how good Abby’s fucking you right now.

The coil in your stomach tightens, and you vividly feel the aching clench of your walls around her fingers, sucking her fingers deeper inside you.

“Abs…I-I’m gonna—“

“I know, baby. Go on, cum for me.”

That’s what sends you over the edge.

You push your hips into her hand, grinding your clit against her palm as she keeps on fucking you, helping you ride out your orgasm. Your thighs shake, your weary gaze finding her as you shamelessly cum on her hand, drenching your bottoms in your juices. She decided at that moment that this was her favorite sight, you cumming all over her fingers. You were completely and only hers. It scared the hell out of her, she couldn’t lie, but she knew it.

Giving you a moment to even out your breath, slowly withdrawing her fingers from your sensitive hole, which you wince at. She fixes your pants to the best of her ability, and helps you stand up, letting you lean your weight onto her.

“You believe me now?”

#౨ৎ angelwrites.#abby anderson smut #abby anderson #abby anderson fluff #abby smut #the last of us 2 #abby tlou #abby anderson x reader #tlou x reader #abby x reader

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a-d-nox · 5 months

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tarot cards and their key phrases: major arcana

this is just a beginners guide to the major arcana - i won't go into imagery, color use, etc. these are key phrases that come to mind when i think of the cards - NOT how they should be directly applied. they needs to be thought about situationally and the cards / when they are in combos they can change or alter their meanings of any reading.

the fool (0/22)

astrological equivalent: uranus

upright: adventure, adventurous, curious, risk taking, hopeful, leap of faith, trust, trust fall, spiritual guided, intuitive, and guided

reversed: hesitation, safety, taking precautions, needing to challenge fears and comfort zone, naivety, and needing a plan

the magician (1)

astrological equivalent: mercury

upright: creativity, creative, having everything you need, clear intentions, passion, passion projects, power, manifester, take action on dreams, and following your desires

reversed: misuse of power, manipulation, forcing a situation, doubting your abilities, feeling disconnected from your true self, needing to reconnect with your inner power, and needing to redirect your energy

the high priestess (2)

astrological equivalent: moon

upright: connecting to the divine, divinely guided, intuitive, higher self, looking within / shadow work, and having the answers you need

reversed: disconnection from intuition, looking for answers outside of yourself, relying too heavily on others, and allowing yourself to be influenced by others

the empress (3)

astrological equivalent: venus

upright: divine femininity, being receptive, receiving rather than taking, laid back, relaxed, taking your time, passion, creativity, magnetism, and attracting what you want

reversed: feeling blocked from love (from others/yourself), feeling disconnected from your creativity, not being able to receive praise/affection, pessimism, romantic complications, feminine health issues, needing patience, waiting for masculine energies to take initiative to fix things in your life. and needing to reconnection the outer realm

the emperor (4)

astrological equivalent: aries

upright: divine masculinity, taking action from a place of power, bravery, thinking of the world around you and not just yourself, feeling comfortable about taking up space, connecting with your inner authority, and knowing what your ambitions/drives are

reversed: being disconnected from your personal power, inability to take action / create forward momentum, not standing up for yourself, inability to take back control of your situation, toxic masculinity, abusing your power, defensiveness, and immaturity that originates in fear/anger

the hierophant (5)

astrological equivalent: taurus

upright: being open to learning new things, following tradition, forming beliefs/rituals, looking out for people who can teach you new things, and sharing your wisdom with others

reversed: detour in spiritual path / study, rigidity, close-mindedness, disinterest in learning new things, and needing to be respectful of others and their beliefs

the lovers (6)

astrological equivalent: gemini

upright: divine love, balance, yin and yang, mutual respect for others, healthy communication, and leading with love

reversed: codependency in your relationships, relying too heavily on others to make you happy, having unrealistic expectations of others, and needing to remember happiness is an inside job

the chariot (7)

astrological equivalent: cancer

upright: journey, next level of your goal, clear intentions, needing to focus, needing a plan, determined, being careful before doing anything big, intuitive, and needing action steps

reversed: lack of confidence, lacking direction/focus, needing a plan, impulse control, moving too quickly, and hesitating

strength (8)

astrological equivalent: leo

upright: inner and outer strength, being able to overcome anything, bravery, and courage

reversed: lacking self-confidence, not trusting yourself, inability to have faith in the world around you, apprehension, inability to take action, and being uncomfortable with vulnerability

the hermit (9)

astrological equivalent: virgo

upright: solitude, knowing your inner truth, wisdom, introversion, introspection / shadow work, and charging your social battery

reversed: fear of being alone, isolating from others, and not reaching out to others

the wheel of fortune (10)

astrological equivalent: jupiter

upright: strong spirituality, focusing on the good even when all seems bad, navigating uncertainty using faith, building up your own strength and resilience, focusing only on what you can control, letting go of things out of your control, and leaning in to fate

reversed: needing to focus only on what can be controlled, feeling like the world is chaotic around you, not wanting to let go of something that needs to end, instability, and needing to declutter

justice (11)

astrological equivalent: libra

upright: use logic, remain objective, uncovering the truth, stay true to yourself, acting with integrity, and have faith

reversed: struggling to maintain/achieve balance, your ethics being questioned/questionable, and needing to learn resilience

the hanged man (12)

astrological equivalent: neptune

upright: stagnation, gaining a new perspective, curiosity, waiting period, spiritual insight, surrender, peace, and impending transformation

reversed: fighting your circumstances, being forced to do things you do not wish to, delays, being shown what you are missing, eagerness to move on, and needing to be still

death (13)

astrological equivalent: scorpio

upright: death and rebirth cycle, change, seasonal shift, evolution, surrendering to the process, and decluttering

reversed: clinging to things that no longer belong in your life, living in the past, amplified pain, and needing to trust the universe and yourself

temperance (14)

astrological equivalent: sagittarius

upright: teamwork, divine guidance, divine timing, ask for help, needing to look for signs, find inspiration, needing to be flexible, and needing to have patience

reversed: trying to hard, forcing the situation unnecessarily, needing to relax, needing to trust divine timing, needing moderation, needing to reestablish your connection with your higher self and it's path, find balance, and avoid extremes

the devil (15)

astrological equivalent: capricorn

upright: confrontation, self-destructive thoughts/behavior, brutal honesty, unhealthy habits / coping mechanisms, self-sabotage, and facing the facts

reversed: new hope, abandonment, detoxing, building new habits, freedom from the past, making hard decisions, and unpopular opinions

the tower (16)

astrological equivalent: mars

upright: sudden change, control issues, devastation, destabilizing events, needing to persevere, what do longer serves you, new schools of thoughts, and newness in general

reversed: subtlety, disappointment, avoidance, clinging to the past, being uncomfortable, and needing have some trust in the world around you

the star (17)

astrological equivalent: aquarius

upright: lifting your spirits, preserving pain/violence, renewed faith/hope, creativity, giftedness, and healing

reversed: disconnection from the divine, needing to reconnect, losing faith, and needing patience

the moon (18)

astrological equivalent: pisces

upright: shadow self, negative traits, duality, primitive tendencies, evolution, expanding your consciousness, seeing what you previously missed, dreams, and intuition

reversed: refusing to acknowledge the truth, surface level knowledge, overcoming self-deception, and trust your intuition

the sun (19)

astrological equivalent: sun

upright: youth, vitality, inner child, reward, productivity, clarity, healthiness, and enthusiasm

reversed: difficulty seeing that the situation is changing, change doesn't happen overnight, take a second look at the situation, "it's not that bad", celebrate the small wins, and attempt optimism

judgment (20)

astrological equivalent: pluto

upright: be kind to yourself, spiritual awakening, accept and release the past, new phase of life, forgiveness, and work on moving on / healing from the past

reversed: repetition, needing to learn important lessons, being too hard on yourself, clinging to the past, and embracing growth/change

the world (21)

astrological equivalent: saturn

upright: end of a cycle, completing a project, reward, celebration, acknowledgement of how far you've come, maturity, empowerment, and a new beginning

reversed: time to finish up, needing to accept something, lack of closure, delayed gratification, finding closure on your own, move on, and new adventures

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic." button if you want to see a specific pac/pile next! if you'd like my input on how i read a specific card or what i like to ask my deck, feel free to use the ask button for that as well.

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tripleyeeet · 7 months

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GO SLOW (12)

SUMMARY: Astarion figures out some hard truths. Also some easy ones.

PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader

WORD COUNT: 3,665

WARNINGS: Spoilers for Act 2, depictions of a panic attack, brief mentions of past (sexual) abuse.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: SURPRISE SHAWTY!! Because I was home sick all day and now I'm apparently busy the rest of the week you get the chapter now! Hopefully you like it. :')

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER

You’re meant to be focused on the relic —on its discovery and retrieval and potential handoff depending on the item in question. As you walk across the cobblestone, tightly gripping the moonlit lantern, you’re well aware that you more than likely look a bit distracted. Lost in a world of your own as you glance around, knowing you should concentrate instead of allowing your head to fill with thoughts of him.

Embarrassingly though, you can’t help it. Not now, when Astarion’s practically glued to your side, brushing his arm against yours with every step. It’s distracting, to say the least. Creating a mess of thoughts within your mind. Shifting in and out of reality, you find it increasingly difficult to pretend you’re anything but elated over your previous private conversation.

As you continue your journey, feeling the coolness of his hand haphazardly make contact with your own, your heart swells twice its original size at the mere memory. How his voice, so simple and sweet, told you he loved you. Even now, hours later, you can hear it clear as day, echoing through the cavern of your skull. Taking its hold with each passing moment; enveloping you in a warmth like any other, laying a heated waste to every thought that may try to penetrate.

If you’re honest, it makes you feel a bit guilty knowing that the rest of the group is most likely feeling more anxious than anything else. Resembling a cluster of bundled nerves, trudging through the darkness, wondering what might be next, it’s as if you’re the only one struggling with something else.

Fully looking at Astarion, you can see the attentive scowl that rests across his face to prove this. The ever so slightly upturned nose, wrinkling in disgust at the rotting trees that line your vision. The angrily knitted brow that pushes together, revealing a lack of enjoyment as the shadows dance around the lantern. Even the frown that graces his lips appears almost too engrossed with the task at hand, making you realize that, despite your shared feelings, he’s more present than you are.

Upon realizing this, you force yourself away. Taking a half-step from his frame, you shake all thoughts of him, replacing them with whatever observation you find in front of you. Like the sound of a crow echoing through the air or the heavy wisps of wind that hit your ears a little too hard or the looming figure leaning on a nearby epitaph—

All of you stop in your tracks, watching as it emerges from the fog to reveal a smug looking Raphael sauntering towards you.

Greeting you with interest, despite the obvious lack of trust for one another, his eyes scan the line of your bodies, lingering on each for a moment before ultimately falling to you, smirking. “Through the dark he went creeping and awoke what was sleeping…”

His voice makes you shiver as he begins to recite some sort of riddle, reminding you of your previous conversation. The one where he threateningly spoke of his aid being the only way to release you from the tadpole's grasp. Assuring that with time you’d seek him out again despite all of you agreeing otherwise.

Even though the context of the conversation seems completely different, you assume it’s the same reason he’s here now, standing before you, rambling on about some terrifying creature through obnoxious prose. More than likely, he’s here to offer you yet another deal —another contract you know will only end in further misery if you so choose to agree to it.

It’s all devils like him seem to do.

“Strange way to warn us about something,” you comment when he’s finished, raising your brow as he chuckles under his breath.

“Well, you know, I’ve grown quite fond of you —in my own way.”

To your right, Karlach groans. “Is there an actual point to this fucking riddle or is this another opening to one of your shitty dealings?”

In response, Raphael tuts in her direction, subtly shaking his head as the grin across his lips only grows. “Such poor manners, tiefling. You’d think Zariel would’ve taught you better.”

Immediately, Karlach takes a step forward, her jaw clenching just as you and Gale hold her back, both of you staring with pleading eyes for her to calm down.

“And here I thought after all this time apart you might miss me.” Regardless of the obvious threat, he flashes all of you a fake frown, pouting his lips for a moment before changing the mood with another laugh. “No matter. I’m merely here to warn you of the dangers ahead.”

“Dangers?”

This time it’s Shadowheart who speaks, her tone quiet —cautious in the way that Karlach’s fails to be, causing Raphael to nod before going into some long-winded tale of a darkened stage with tired actors. Ones that, if awakened, will cause a great calamity.

Or, so he says. With Raphael, it’s hard to trust what’s being embellished and what’s not with the way he speaks, moving his hands through the air while he rhymes. Sure, there’s a bit of eloquence to the whole thing —an air of intrigue to his tales but ultimately, it only makes you and the others frustrated. Skeptical. A lack of trust rising through the air as he continues, pivoting the conversation to a lurking shadow.

Apparently, it’s of Infernal descent, something that piques both you and Astarion’s interest, sharing a look. As Raphael speaks, telling you to kill the creature before it can be released upon the rest of the world, your tadpole vies for your attention. Squirming violently, it makes you cringe with discomfort, trying your best not to let it show as you allow the call to enter your mind.

We should ask him about the scars.

For a moment you disagree. With Raphael being a devil and all, it’s almost certain that if you ask him a question he’ll only offer a bargain in return. Something big and shiny but worth hardly anything in the long run. But then you remember the timing. The lack of minutes and hours and days you may have left. Already you’re running on borrowed time and you can tell that Astarion’s desperate. Struggling to come to terms with the fact that at the end of all this, he might not get the ending you both believe he deserves.

Because of this, instead of denying you merely nod your head, making quick eye contact just as Raphael finishes his tale, using the short moment of silence to pivot the conversation.

“Now, enough about all that,” he says, waving his hand in the air. “Let’s talk about you. I sense there’s something you want to ask me.”

When his gaze hits Astarion’s face it’s as if the whole party turns defensive. Narrowing their eyes, their bodies instinctively lean towards Astarion, making sure it’s known that any sort of threat will not go unnoticed.

It makes Astarion puff up triumphantly as he clears his throat, glancing back at all of you with hidden thanks before returning his attention to Raphael. “I do. I have a proposal for you.”

“A proposal?”

“Yes.”

Chuckling darkly, you see Raphael shift. “If this has anything to do with you wanting to taste my blood, I can assure you vampling it’s hardly worth it.”

As you roll your eyes, Astarion scoffs. “This is serious, devil,” he retorts, a rather crisp bite to his tone despite who he’s talking to. “I have this scar —this eyesore of a creation carved rather deeply into my back. Someone wrote it all in Infernal and considering I’m neither devil nor demon I obviously can’t read the damned thing.”

Instead of responding, all Raphael does is hum. Low and slow, he takes his time mulling over Astarion’s words, stroking his chin most likely for dramatics as he paces the path, making you frown.

“Can you help him or not, Raphael?”

When you speak, he looks at you with offence. As if interrupting his thought process is a fate worse than death, prompting you to swallow in regret, trying not to look scared. Even though that’s exactly what you are.

Considering you don’t trust him in the slightest, watching Astarion so easily ask for this devil’s aid makes you anything but calm. In your mind, you can feel the anxiety brewing like a storm. Threatening to strike you down at a moment’s notice as this hellish creature disguised as nothing more than just a man, scolds you for your lack of patience.

“It’s something very important to your master,” he then says, smirking at Astarion —pulling him in with tempting words and more theatrics. “But what is it? A love letter perhaps? A warning of your impending room? A contract of ownership maybe?”

Every example he lists off makes you more and more uncomfortable, your stomach churning at the prospect of Astarion’s scars meaning anything at all.

“I could give you all the gory details. For a price, of course.”

As expected, Astarion sighs and looks towards you, searching your face for signs of reluctance only to find support.

“And what’s your price?”

Without hesitation, he tells you he wants the aforementioned creature dead. Slain on sight so that he no longer has to think about it. To which Astarion looks at him a bit confused, wondering how such a simple task could be deemed worth its weight in information. Especially when taking into account all the slaying you’ve all done already.

“Really? That’s your price?”

Raphael nods —humming again but this time in acknowledgement. “You slay the best and I tell you all about those beautifully crafted etchings. Sound good?”

It doesn’t. Not in the slightest. But regardless Astarion merely nods, prompting Raphael to finish his end of the conversation, telling you he’ll be in touch before evaporating into a thick fog of smoke.

As soon as he’s gone you can feel the breath returning to your chest. All the past anxieties slipping into something a bit more manageable as you reach for Astarion’s arm, earning yourself a look of frustration that everyone else opts to ignore.

“You okay?”

You see him swallow as he looks away, turning his attention to the entrance of the mausoleum you now find yourselves in front of. “I’m fine.”

“Yes, but are you okay?”

It’s obvious then he doesn’t know how to answer. Now that he’s one step closer to finding out the truth of this thing that’s haunted him for so long, you can tell he’s nervous. Apprehensive in a way that has him debating whether or not he truly wants to know. You can see it plainly in his eyes —the way they dart around in circles, searching for something neither of you has the answers to.

Sensing this, the rest of the party moves ahead silently, glancing at you from afar as they stop at the run-down building’s entrance, allowing you a moment to yourselves.

“It’s a lot to take in,” you remind him then, squeezing his arm.

Beneath your touch he tenses, signalling you to pull away as quickly as you can, fearing he may not like it.

“There’s always something in the way, isn’t there?” he grumbles, gritting his teeth in frustration.

Sighing, you nod your head. “Unfortunately.”

“I mean, honestly, you’d think for once the universe would allow me a moment of goddamn peace but no, I have to work for it —to become a slave and do the bidding of someone else yet again!”

His frustrations are rational. Justifiable even, when you take into account all that he’s suffered. After everything, he deserves to be thrown some kind of bone. Even one as little as this, and more than anything you wish you could do that for him.

Instead of merely supporting him on yet another perilous journey to earn the bare minimum you wish you could give him everything. The key to his past —the gift of his future. If you could, anything and everything under the sun would be plucked from its rightful place and put into his open hand without a second thought. You’d will the stars to fall without warning if he wanted them. Lasso the moon and drag it down just so he could see it clearer each night. Hell, you’d even rip the sky itself down if it meant you could prove to him just how much he deserves.

Unfortunately, though, you’re not nearly powerful enough to do anything like that, so instead you merely set the lantern down on the ground and offer your hand. Palm up into the air, you shove it between you with a sombre smile, watching Astarion glance between it and your face, inevitably taking it.

“I don’t need your pity, you know.”

“It’s not pity.”

“Fine, your sympathies then.”

“Alright.”

A part of you knows he’s being stubborn just to guard himself. A tactic he often uses so that his vulnerabilities may remain hidden. It’s something you’re often guilty of yourself —avoiding conflicts in the form of jokes or comments said only to distract.

Unfortunately, because of this, it means that you can see right through him. As you move your other hand to flip over his, trailing patterns across the lines of his palm, you can feel the fear that strikes his heart. The thoughts inside his head pulsating with all the potentials of where this newfound information can lead you.

Neither of you know, but it’s apparent then that regardless of what it is, it easily has the ability to change the trajectory of everything. Depending on the severity, the more unwilling you know Astarion will be to continue with the group. If it’s dire, more than likely, he’ll try to venture off on his own to solve the issue. Especially if it results in enacting some form of revenge.

Because despite his growing fondness for the group you find yourselves in, he’s still Astarion at his core. And you know that means there’s an inherent selfishness that sits dormant, waiting for the right moment to abandon the world to get what he wants.

You don’t blame him for it. Not after everything he’s been through. Not after countless years of seduction and starvation and a solitude meant only for the dead. At the bare minimum, he deserves the chance to erase all of that in the form of raw revenge. Whether it’s through betrayal or murder or whatever may linger in between.

Regardless of all that, he deserves closure. Even in its impurest form, he’s earned the right to do whatever the fuck he wants because it’s his choice. His decision. If he wants to leave —to abandon the party for greater things, so be it. You won’t stop him. However, you will offer him your hand.

“I’m with you. Whatever happens.”

As you speak, you continue to stroke his hand, repeating the routes of your index finger over and over again until you can feel him relax in your palm. Until you know that the frustrations that he feels are pushing themselves to the back of his mind, making way for your presence.

“It’s rather foolish of you, you know.”

You raise your brow at him.

“To fall for a vampire. To promise him things you may not be able to fulfill.”

Despite knowing he’s right you merely smile and look back down at his hand. “I never claimed to be smart, did I?”

“No, I suppose not.”

You move your thumb across his palm, gripping it gently with your other hand as you pull it up to your face. “I’m pretty good with a sword though,” you offer, kissing the centre, feeling it curl around your chin, his own thumb trail past your cheek.

“I know, I’ve seen you.”

“So you’re aware of my talents.”

He snorts and leans in without another word, capturing your lips in a soft kiss that has you humming against him until suddenly it’s over far quicker than you’d like.

“You know, the plan was never to have this happen.”

His hand remains firmly on your chin. Thumbing your bottom lip it pushes it down to reveal your teeth before springing back up when he moves his digit elsewhere.

“Have what happen?”

“This,” he says. “Us. We —I was meant to merely seduce you. Manipulate you into trusting me so that you’d never turn on me.”

There’s an awkward pause that quickly fills with nervous laughter. Ripping through his throat, it’s there and gone before you can even react to it, making you swallow hard as he continues his confession, telling you how easy it was supposed to be. How instinctive it felt to flirt with the idea of you while you fully fell for his charms.

“All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do was not fall for you,” he tells you, earnestly —looking at you with eyes so heavily filled with guilt that, as he confesses further, all you can do is stand there, panicking. Praying to whatever Gods may hear you that at the end of this, he doesn’t retract all the words he previously said just to spare you from helping him accomplish the impossible.

“I swear if you—“

“That’s where my plan fell apart, you know,” he cuts you off, leaning in to press his forehead against yours. “When I realized how incredible you are. How caring and funny and—and smart you are. I didn’t stand a chance. Not with the way you take the time to listen. Or the way you defend my honour even though I never ask. Or how you have the ability to make me smile when all I want to do is scream.”

All you can feel is the breath of his words hitting your face. The sensation of air pluming across your skin, forcing you to blink and breathe and carry on as silently as possible.

“You deserve to have the kind of love you selflessly offer me every day.”

Slowly, his hands move to cup either side of your face, pulling you further in despite how close you already are.

“I want to give you that —to give you something real. But I’ll be honest, I don’t know how to do that.”

There’s a part of you that feels like you’re shattering then, hearing those last few words, unaware of the implication. Considering it’s such an open statement, as you remain still beneath his touch, trying to explore his face for clues, the only thing you can think of is the worst. How instead of loving you, he’ll leave and die by Cazador’s hand. How as a result you’ll be one member short and fall to the Absolute. How everything will have been for nothing.

Breathing hard, you assume his next few words will be the worst words you’ll ever hear, so when he eventually opens his mouth, preparing to speak further, you can’t help but close your eyes.

“Being close to someone —experiencing intimacy— it’s something I did to lure people in for him, so it’s tainted in a way. Still brings up those feelings of disgust and loathing, despite what we have being different,” he confesses, forcing your eyes to reopen and see the almost wild look in his eyes.

“I don’t know how to be with someone else. How to offer them what they need —how to let them in the way I know I should. No matter how hard I try.”

At that point, it feels like he’s searching for answers. Begging for you to tell him what to do next —knowing it’s all he’s ever known.

Because of this, all you do is offer him a smile, reaching up to grab his face back, tentatively feeling the skin through the nerves that shake beneath the pads of your fingers. “So, what happens next?”

“Next?”

You nod, watching his expression change, telling you he doesn’t quite understand the question as he blinks back tears, glancing away while clearing his throat.

“I, uh, I suppose I don’t know. It’s been so long since I’ve had to decide what I wanted.”

“That’s okay.”

He opens his mouth to respond but all that comes out is a soft crackling of sound, signalling even more uncertainty until he’s pulling away and avoiding your gaze, panicking at the prospect of having to choose. A newfound agitation flowing throughout his features as you attempt to call him back in, whispering his name like a prayer.

At first, he’s completely hostile, pushing air rapidly through his nose as his eyes flicker through the trees. At one point he wobbles from side to side, shifting the weight of his feet so carelessly that you move your hands in front of you, waiting for him to drop.

Thankfully, he doesn’t though. Instead, all he does is ride the hysteria of his emotions, eventually looking to you for the kind of guidance you’re more than willing to give him.

Once again taking his hands —cautiously this time— you etch those same patterns into his hand, using your thumb to trace every line you see, telling him he’s okay. That you’re here and he’s safe and that you love him, despite everything.

Barely above a whisper, you tell him that his feelings are valid. That he’s allowed to take the time to process. That admitting that he loves you doesn’t mean there has to be this automatic shift into something new.

“We can just love each other,” you tell him, smiling. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want. We can take it slow.”

That seems to calm him down enough for him to nod his head and reciprocate the contact of your hands with a short squeeze. Both of which make your heart swell in a sort of sad understanding as you silently offer him a hug, feeling him roughly wrap around you as he tells you he loves you again.

@poohxlove @gaiasmight @sassy-stupid @novarex @v-gremlin @sapphiccloud @lipstickghoulie @kuroitsukyo@jjfchk@idiotsatan@bluestuesday@bloopthebat@art-by-greenie@heneralmoon@sukunababe@dreamingaboutyousworld@ranfithegood@haniscrying@liadamerondjarin@the-lake-is-calling@marina-and-the-memes@rookieoftheyear@zraloci-cpr@kaetmo@snickerdoodle-daydream@wowowwild@d1anna@raswiet@conniesbbymama@venus-wrts@demonicthorns@kihten@deadglamsheep@sanscas@spammypasta@leighsartworks216@rose-gold-blue@p1ssmagg0t@hellish-writes@ghostinvenus@otayz@sexysquatch@sleepyeclair@colorful-anxieties@alina-exe@ilana-the-lasagna@lillifer@girlwiththepapatattoo@y2cade@acelin-ginsberg@pinkuranium@catrad0rable@scarletrosesposts@qwnamidala@itsrosebabe@bunnyperi@queenofcarrotflowers-s@tatumadams20@spkyxszn@chlort@f3v3rs@awkwardwookie@joy-the-reader@warm-milk-with-honey-blog@vertigocrime@iyis@wildpiper@pebblethestone@tillywasneverhere@bex-03@kaetmo@revemiya@staticspouse@itzagothamcitysiren@djarinsmixtape@when-the-night-came@epicy0n@bababahannah@sleepyred1703@lotus-99@lofcompass@r4d10h34d5@vampninjaz@itsmekalou@offbrandhand@yikes-buddy@konenichi@rainonarden@oceanbluesixeyes@bodtyworship@maydayitsjay@greasyslimebucket@yeeteth-the-raven@fantasyfairysworld@allexthakatt@flowersaretheshit@morglyne@thespectacularspaceace@cephiss0@use-your-telescope@furblrwurblr@kloverfield@angelofthorr@writervaul-t@starved-kitten@minixluvr@crowley--aziraphale@sapphicwren@alionera-blog@jennithejester@dezedrol@thisisew@saladalpaca@applepiewithbacon@httpbiohazard@aurasyn@nerdoodles@kingpinthedevil@itzkawaiix@domainoflostsouls@silverskylan@uminootome@helpidkwhatimdoingwrong@deadlyinfernos@blackbirdswhispers@sarahskywalker-amadala@writingmysanity@f3v3rs@jayjones03@quietlyebbie@optimisticprime3@eyes-for-daze@sunnytalia3@megoshh@maddiedott@cappsikle@mostbeautifulnightmare@lynnlovesloki@simpytheshrimpy69@astarion-archive@smaranshakthi@autistic-deer@shadowfeart@freckled-petals@candied-lavender@hp-art-studio@ghouligan@satelliteapotheosis@waywardwitch-hel@pandimoostuff@mythoughtsofinsanity@ilovelovelylove@oneandonlyizabelle

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#go slow #astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion fan fic #astarion series #astarion x female reader #astarion x reader #astarion x you #summer writes

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green-typewriterz · 1 month

Note

i would love literally anything sam winchester related the lack of fics r astounding.. maybe something fluffy?? ive had a bad week would so cheer me up

Best fake-real husband

ASKS ARE OPEN

Sam Winchester x fem!reader

Summary: You and Sam go undercover in a small town to find out what's been happening to the disappearing couples.

ASK: above

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, awkward moments, mid season sam (in my mind it’s season 5 so its not following canon plot)

Author notes: Thankyou so much for the ask!!! I hope this is good :))) also Sam is the leader of the Sassy man army and if you don’t think so you can leave. Also thank you to @midsummeranderson for helping me plan <3

word count: 4110

You had always hated suburban houses, they just seemed empty, unforgiving. Though you didn’t have much of a choice. Bobby had a case and you two were to go undercover.

”Husband and wife…” Sam began, a glint in his eyes as he moved around the open plan kitchen, opening the windows to salve the heat that bit at their necks.

You smiled in reply, laying out weapons to move to the spare room. “Not awkward at all.” You replied and he laughed, shrugging his usual flannel onto a chair and digging into his bag.

Sam looked up, smiling, holding two rings in his hand. “Nope. I’m going to be the best fake-real husband ever. Dean thinks I can’t and I’m kinda determined to prove him wrong.” You sigh and shake your head, but there’s no annoyance behind it. Trust Dean to make a game out of it.

A piece of hair fell in front of his eyes - it’s so long now that it reaches his shoulders, princelike. “Well then I guess I’ll have to be a good wife.” He hummed in agreement and you tucked his hair back behind his ear and a smile spread across his face. “Looks like I’m off to a good start, Sam Heathcliff.”

You gently slipped the ring onto your finger, the metal slightly too big for you. It was your grandmothers, a mix of silver and sapphire. Sam places his dad’s wedding band on his own hand, fiddling with it gently. It made you smile softly, how the ring was cold against your skin - your grandmother had always wanted you to wear it.

A knock at the door pulled you out of your memories and the two of you looked to each other with confusion, Dean wasn’t meant to be here until later that evening. You opened the door cautiously, flitting into character when you saw a 57 year old woman holding a large pie in her hands.

She grinned cheerily, pushing the dish forward into your hands as she spoke, you didn’t really have another choice but to take it (you’d probably hand it off to Dean later.) “Hi,” the voice sounded fake, satirical. She never met your eyes, she was almost entirely focused on Sam. “I heard there was a new couple in town, thought I’d do the neighbourly thing and say hi.” She began, flicking her hair over her shoulder in a particularly suggestive manner. “We’d love to have you over this weekend, monthly barbeque.”

You looked at Sam, who looked entirely uncomfortable with the attention he was receiving and wrapped your arms around his waist. “We’d love to…” you waited for a name, the woman smiled with annoyance, as if she hated you speaking to her.

“Helen. Watson.”

The two of you introduced yourself and agreed to go, knowing the gathering would be useful to get information. With one last glance at Sam, Helen turned around and left, allowing you to breathe a sigh of relief.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

Dean came round that evening, constantly grinning and mocking and (as you had expected) he greeted the pie with open arms. “Look you two,” he began, as if he were an expert on the subject, “You’re practically a couple already, just… act like you’re in your honeymoon phase for the old women.”

He stated this as if it were an obvious fact and you raised your brows at his use of the word ‘honeymoon’. Sam looked away in annoyance (Something Dean found extremely funny). It seemed as though the younger Winchester couldn’t wait to get rid of Dean and so, as soon as he had finished his pie, he was forced out the door and back to the impala. There was a second sigh of relief when the door closed.

Though it had seemed like a smart idea at the time, the two of you were sorely regretting filling the spare room with hunting gear as it had left you with one bedroom. “I’ll take the couch,” Sam said as he gathered some clothes to sleep in, you stood in the doorway, arms folded as you shook your head.

“Not a chance, you’d barely fit on this bed imagine how uncomfortable you'd be downstairs.” You argued and he shook his head, trying to claim that he’d slept worse. Eventually, the two of you came to an agreement. Sam would sleep over the covers, you’d sleep under them (he always got hot at night anyway - especially during the summer).

You excused yourself to the bathroom and by the time you had gotten back Sam was already asleep, long hair falling gently over his eyes. You lay down beside him and got comfortable, though you forgot just how much Sam moved in his sleep. He seemed to subconsciously move closer to you, warm, tan skin flush against yours.

His face was inches from yours, holding a gentle smile as if he were happily dreaming (though that was something that didn’t happen often). You gently moved the hair from his eyes and he moved closer still, broad shoulders brushing against you. You fell asleep in the comfort of his warmth and awoke with his arms wrapped securely around you. He wasn’t awake yet, you always woke up before him.

You eventually found it in yourself to move from his grip and headed downstairs, intending to make breakfast for the two of you. He was downstairs a few moments later, hair a sweet, tousled mess on his head. You smiled sweetly but neither of you spoke - there wasn’t much need to.

The two of you seemed to move around each other as if you had been married for years as you got ready for the barbeque, passing each other what you needed wordlessly. Chalk it up to years of hunting together.

“Todays gonna be entertaining for me.” You stated, a smirk on your face. He tilted his head in confusion as if he were a dog and you smiled, eyes drifting to his shoulders for a moment. “C’mon Sam, it’s a town of 47 year old women who hate their husbands and you’re a - very awkward - 6 '4 man. A handsome one at that.” He blushed and turned away, continuing to get ready.

His hands fiddled with the jacket in front of him. “Yeah, so?” You smiled at him, opening the front door as you spoke again.

“So, it’s gonna be fun watching you squirm.” Your smile turned to a grin and Sam shook his head, following you out the door.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

You were right, as expected. Although most were fine, one specific group of women made an exaggerated effort to fan themselves, whispering to each other about Sam. They almost immediately ushered you over. You sent a look to your best friend and headed toward them.

Immediately, they began to gossip, asking you about how you and Sam met and you could barely get a word in edgeways. There were compliments thrown at you too, but you knew they were just to stop you ‘feeling jealous.’

“How did you get so lucky?” One woman, Helen, asked. Her voice was wrought with envy as she stared over at Sam. Part of you understood why they were staring, Sam looked strangely good in the traditional small town husband attire. His white polo had a few buttons undone and the fabric was tight on his arms (Dean had ordered the wrong size) and his long hair was held back from his head by a pair of sunglasses, a few stray pieces falling over his eyes. The only part you weren’t a fan of was the khaki shorts…but it seemed to be the dress code in the town so you brushed it off - you and Dean would probably make fun of him for it later. He felt his gaze on you and turned to meet your eyes, smiling softly and winking. The women around you giggled and you rolled your eyes, to which he laughed.

It turned out that talking to the four women was the best thing for the case, they absolutely adored gossip. “Couples have been going missing, it always starts with the husbands.” Margaret whispered excitedly, “It happened to the couple who were here before you, sweet things.” she continued, sipping on a glass of wine.

You tilted your head, something Sam recognised from a distance, you’d had an idea. “Do they leave anything behind? People can’t just disappear?” You asked, pulling your hand through your hair.

Helen shook her head. “The damn council barely clean out the houses.” You nodded. Bingo. If the house hadn’t been thoroughly cleaned, chances are there’d be evidence. Helen continued to ramble and you were listening intently, until a hand gently slid onto your waist.

You let out a gasp but the strong smell of cedarwood and amber calmed you down. You knew exactly who it was. His grip pulls tighter around you and you lean into him, head resting on his chest. You felt your face flush - something you were praying he didn’t notice.

“How did you two meet?” One woman asked and you looked at each other, making sure without ever even speaking that you had the story right.

Sam leaned his head on yours and sweetly said, “why don’t you take this one, honey.” his eyes sparkled with mischief, he was trying to throw you off and the hand that was massaging your side was proof of that.

You met his eyes with the same excitement, if he wanted to play, you were really going to go for it. “We both worked as government agents, met on the field. Hence all the scars.” The women nodded in realisation, looking at some of the injuries you hadn’t quite managed to hide. “He wasn’t the biggest fan of mine at first but I grew on him, isn’t that right darling?”

Sam nodded, his eyes not leaving yours as he replied, “and now I don’t want to be without her ever again.” He found that sentence to be more true than he thought.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

Sam sent an exasperated look your way as he raked a hand through his hair (and sadly took the glasses off his head). “How were the boys?” you asked with a smile and he turned to make sure no one was watching before dropping the facade.

“I’m actually shocked how much I don’t know about football.” He replied and you both laughed, him leaning into you as he smiled. He looked outside at the group of gossipping women before adding on, “they seemed…friendly.”

You laughed, “to you, sure, but I think it’s because they want you in their bed.” The sentence was blunt and Sam’s eyes widened, cheeks blushing a strong red. You, however, continued as if you had never said anything, “I think it could be witches? We’d have to search for hex bags though.” He nodded, not meeting your eyes (he was slightly flustered).

The two of you eventually said your goodbyes and made your way down the street, Sam looked annoyed with himself. “What’s up?”

He sighed, “this one guy, Glenn, roped me into holding a housewarming party…” You stared at him incredulously, did he not try to say no? Sam recognised the look in your eyes and defended himself, “the man was incredibly persuasive!” You shook your head but knew there was no way out of it. You weren’t the best at party planning.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

The long stretch of grocery store met you as you and Sam stood in the doorway. You didn’t often do this as hunters so it was a slightly daunting task. You looked at each other with tired eyes and went your separate ways, deciding to cover ground as if it were a hunt…just for nachos.

You rounded a corner only to see Helen stood there. Not wanting to be stuck in conversation again, you instantly turned on your heel, hiding behind a row of sauces. Though, something caught your eye. In Helen’s basket, clearly hidden just not very well, was a large amount of herbs and salt. What got you interested was the extreme amount of basil and sage.

Witches. Had to be.

Sam approached you, smiling gently. Something about the situation made him look so… domestic. You tried to motion to him what you were thinking but he seemed so fixated on you, his reaching out for yours. “Can you do your job?” you spoke, the words sounding harsher than you had intended. He instantly pulled back, face twisting with annoyance.

“What?”

“Take the hint, Sam. Behind me.”

You continued to whisper back and forth in annoyance, alerting Helen who watched in confusion. You quickly turned to look at her and sighed as she approached, hiding the herbs with the rest of her groceries. “Lovers quarrel?” she joked and the two of you laughed in the same way Bobby would when Dean told another of his bad jokes.

Sam made excuses as you looked at her, trying to see if you could spot any witch runes on her. It seemed as though she was trying to do the same to you. “Well isn’t that tattoo…neat!” She said, trying to hide the venom in her voice as she pointed out the anti-possession tattoo on your collarbone. Great.

You looked at Sam in annoyance and turned back to Helen. “Thanks! I saw it in a magazine!” You tried to explain away but you knew you’d been caught, she had spotted you and you her. Though she was very keen to stay in conversation, Sam made a quick excuse and you both left as soon as you could.

“Told you it was witches.”

Sam didn’t reply. The car journey back was completely silent, an unspoken annoyance building in the both of you. Neither of you said a word until the front door closed. “Nice job letting her see the tattoo.” Sam said annoyedly, turning to look at you.

You sighed and turned away, packing away the groceries. “Maybe if you spent less time flirting and more time actually hunting we’d be done by now! This isn’t exactly a hard case, we don't need more bodies to our name.” The reply was sharp and annoyed.

He suddenly grabbed your wrist so you’d look at him. “I’m doing my job just fine.” His eyes were locked with yours. You stepped closer.

“No, you’re not. You’re distracted.” Sam scoffed, his minty breath fanning against your cheek from how close you were. His hand was still firmly on your wrist.

An annoyed smile spread across his face and a muscle in his neck tensed. “Oh yeah? And why would I be distracted?” You stared directly at him, from his long hair that fell over his unreadable gaze to the smoothness of his bronzed skin.

You found yourself stepping closer again. “You tell me.”

There was a crushing silence, the only sound being your sharp breaths. Suddenly, Sam’s grip on your hand moved to your waist and he pulled you into him, his lips colliding with yours. You leaned into him, hands grabbing his hair harshly. He kissed you as if he were hungry, as if he had been waiting for years - maybe he had. He lifted you easily and sat you on the kitchen counter, leaning back from the kiss for a split second. His chest rose quickly in hot breaths as he kissed you again. You bit his bottom lip - letting blood drip as his hands gripped your skin.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

The party was loud and irritating, there wasn’t a moment where you had time for yourself, not one point where you weren’t ’y/n Heathcliff’. You and Sam had barely talked after the evening before - you didn’t know what to say.

You knew Helen would be at the party, not only would it be good to keep up appearances but she could get her next victim from it. Sam sent you a look and you nodded once, heading toward the spare bedroom in search of weapons, just in case.

A small, easily hidden knife was being placed into your waistband when Sam opened the door, closing it harshly behind him. “Sorry,” he said quietly, “had to get away from Miriam.”

You laughed gently and went back to preparing, not wanting to meet his eyes. “Helen’s here.”

“I know.”

Silence again. You sighed, “and you just left her out there? Alone?” His brows furrowed and he offered a witty remark, starting another hushed argument between the two of you.

On the other side of the door, Miriam and Margaret pressed their ears to the wood, giggling like school children at how the argument sounded to them. Through the muffled walls, all they could hear was gasps and sharp noises - of course they assumed what they wanted.

Sam’s hands pushed through his hair as he sighed, uncertain of what to do, when suddenly the door started opening. He rushed forward and pushed against it, rushing out a quick, “one moment!” All he heard in reply was laughs.

“What do we do?” He asked nervously and you stood still, nervous, until a thought popped into your head. You held your hands out - asking for permission and, once he nodded, you placed your hands gently in his soft hair, ruffling it. It annoyed you how he still managed to look good.

Then, once he had done the same for you, you looked him up and down, deciding his outfit was far too…tidy. First it was one button undone, then another (you unbuttoned a third for personal reasons). A blush rose on the tips of his ears.

He went to open the door when you realised something was still missing and, in a quick moment of panic, you rushed forward and grabbed his face, kissing him harshly on the lips (you were purposely trying to smudge your lipstick onto him). Sam made a noise in shock but found himself leaning into it, eyes lingering closed for a moment longer after you had pulled away.

Shit. He thought. He definitely liked you.

Eventually, the door was opened and Sam met the two women with an awkward smile. “Oh!’ Margaret began, giggling, “I was going to offer a drink, but I see you’re occupied…” The woman looked at one another, laughed again and walked away, leaving Sam blushing with embarrassment. The door was closed once more and when you were both sure they had walked away, laughter spilt into the room.

He shook his head and smiled, stepping closer to you. “Close one.” You smiled gently, staring into his eyes (the light was hitting them perfectly). There was silence again - neither of you knew what to do.

”Are we ever going to talk about last night?” You asked, thinking about how his hands felt on your skin. His features turned more serious as he sat down on the bed.

He stared at you, lipstick still in a smudge on his face. “I’m not sure what to say about it.” You neared him, hands trailing over his shoulders. Then, slowly, you leaned into him, lifting his chin with your finger as you felt his soft lips against yours. There was something impossibly gentle about it and you weren’t sure anyone had kissed you that softly before.

”Maybe we don’t need to say anything.”

He smiled. You kissed the corner of his grin and headed back downstairs, attempting to fix your hair as you went. You were met with stares as you entered the kitchen - Miriam had most definitely told everyone… at least it sold the cover.

Time passed with an almost excruciating level of slowness and Sam not making a re-entrance back downstairs wasn’t helping either (you had no one to distract you). Eventually, the party cleared out yet Sam was nowhere to be seen - now you began to panic.

You said goodbye to the final few neighbours and headed back upstairs, calling Sam’s name. The lack of response worried you. The first door by the stairs - the one that unfortunately led to your weapons room - was ajar, scratches around the lock. You pulled the dagger from your waistband and slowly opened the door, sighing as you saw the bloodstain on the floor. You had a feeling you knew who had taken him and where he had gone.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

You had managed to track him to Helen’s house, hiding around the back to get a good view through the sliding glass doors. Sat, tied to a chair in the middle of the main room, was Sam. His face was bruised and bloody and his expression looked annoyed, chest heaving with sharp breaths. Helen, Miriam and Margaret circled around him, playing with his hair and gathering items they needed for the spell.

”Poor Sam,” Helen began - you assumed she was the leader, “you’d think you’d be able to fight back against three 57 year olds.” Miriam headed into the kitchen as Margaret laughed, they almost reminded you of the witches from Macbeth.

”You’d also think, considering she’s a hunter, that your ‘wife’ would be better at hiding.” Suddenly, a surprisingly strong pair of hands grabbed you, pushing you against the wall.

You struggled against the grip but it was no use, your hands being painfully tied behind your back. Miriam ushered you into the living room, retiring you to a chair beside Sam. You met his eyes with an apologetic gaze and he returned it.

It was your turn to feel the bunt of the witches’ fun now, knives sliced at your skin and hair was cut from your head, you knew they’d done it somewhere visible on purpose. They grabbed at your face, nails digging into flesh and smiling as Sam protested.

Eventually, the three left the room and you and Sam began planning. You shuffled your chair toward him, trying to see if he could reach the dagger you always hid in your shoe. His hand brushed over your shin but he couldn’t reach any further.

With one final attempt, Sam tried to lean on the chair to reach, which ended with him toppling both chairs. He landed on top of you, his chest flush against yours. “Sorry.” He spoke, words hoarse from lack of breath.

Luckily for you, the fall had broken the ropes around your ankles and - though it hurt like hell - you manoeuvred your leg just enough to read the blade. Sam's hair tickled against your face and his lips tickled your neck - but that was something you’d have to think about later.

“Nice try you two.” Helen spoke as she waltzed back in. You hid the blade in your sleeve as your chair was fixed once more and while the three were busy working, you managed to slice through the ropes. you waited patiently, watching with a newfound confidence. Luckily for you, Maragaret was the type of witch to intimidate - her favourite tactic being getting as close as she could.

You took the opportunity and thrust the blade forward, stabbing through her throat. She screamed out and you stood up making your way over to the other two to fight. You took a fair few punches, but it was nothing new and soon enough the two others were on the floor too, holding onto the last of their life.

The large salt circle was immediately broken and Sam was freed, you apolising every time you accidentally touched any of his injuries. “That was badass.” Sam complimented and you laughed, leaning your hair back tiredly.

You turned away, starting to destroy the spell further as you spoke, “Ready to finally stop being husband and wife?” You asked and a small smirk rose on his face, hands snaking back over your waist again.

With sudden passion, he spun you back around, his eyes glinting. “Not really.”

With that, Sam lifted you off the ground, hands securely gripping your thighs as he kissed your neck. You had your back pushed against the wall as he moved to kiss your lips, your hands pulling at the back of his hair. He sighed and went to kiss you again when the front door swung open, revealing a disgusted (but slightly relieved) Bobby and a grinning Dean.

”We can explain?” Sam offered, gently lowering you back to the ground. You couldn’t look at one another.

Dean shook his head, smiling like a madman. “I don’t know Sammy, seems pretty obvious to me.” Then, with the same giddy happiness he turned to Bobby, who had since fished a ten dollar bill out of his pocket.

Typical. You and Sam shared an annoyed look as The other two hunters headed back out the door. ‘“C’mon you lovebirds,” Bobby began, “There’s a vamp nest in Chicago.”

#fic #fanfic #one shot #writing #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester #fluff #Injury #witches #supernatural #supernatural fic #Sam Winchester the sass queen #sam winchester x fem!reader

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luvonmes-blog · 8 months

Text

slow

just, slow down.

warnings/labels - MDNI!!, decided to switch the narrative of a guy actually taking women into consideration (omg!! men who care😱) and decided gojo needs a lil love aka, reader takes gojo into consideration, fem! reader, fluffy smut, pnv, pwp, lil bit of nipple play (i wholeheartedly believe gojo has sensitive nipples, fight the wall), gojos in love, reader shows him how to love (fuck) her.

authors note - you know when people post and say “this was supposed to be a drabble but i got carried away” i always questioned if they were serious or not but now?? i understand. i’m so in love with the idea of being in love

————————————————————————

when gojo first met you, he didn’t think anything would come of it. he just assumed you’d be another colleague of his but you quickly proved him wrong.

it started with quick, shy glances. those quickly because fleeting touches which would burn his skin and leave a mark ingrained in his brain of where you placed your hand. looks became less shy, touches became more certain and then you asked him out. you asked him out and that day he knew he was hooked. the moment he kissed you, he knew he was going nowhere, his brain already planning your future together. your lips met and he wanted to devour you but before he could go any further you pulled back and murmured something about taking it slow.

“d- did you not like it?” he asked nervously, face burning red.

“no, satoru.” you laughed and his face paled. “i liked it i promise but could we slow it down?” it came out as a question and he was confused on what you meant.

“slow it down?” he repeated, trying to understand what you meant.

“yeah, like…” you didn’t finish your sentence instead leaning in and pressing your lips against his. he let you take the lead, wanting to see what you meant. and he finally understood. your lips moved slowly against his, parting just a bit and breathing him in. you meant slow literally and gojo likes this more. he was used to being rushed, everyone around him expecting him to do any and everything quickly but you didn’t. you let him do things on his own terms and now he was doing them on yours. slow. he was used to women rushing him, just trying to get him into their beds, lips moving hurriedly, all teeth and tongue as they stripped him.

but you, you took your time. when you parted your lips enough to slip your tongue into his mouth, he groaned. your hands trailed down his abdomen and met his, moving them from the harsh grip on your hips to up your back, cradling your body and allowing him to pull you closer. the two of you now flush against each other as gojo hunched over to keep his lips against yours. you licked into his mouth moving your tongue against his, tasting him and taking whatever he’d give to you. you finally let go as you felt light headed from the lack of air and looked up to gojo. for your date tonight he opted for glasses instead of his usual blindfold, he had taken them off when you reached your door and as you stared into his beautiful blue eyes, they were sparkling.

“like that.” you finished your earlier sentence. all he could do was nod dazedly, too entranced by you to actually respond with words. “so i’m gonna go inside now…” you backed away slowly. “you’re welcome to come in if you’d like.” you added.

“god you have no idea what you do to me.” he sighed breathily so caught up in you. “but i can’t. i have um, paperwork.” his voice was raspy and breathy as he panted.

“oh, ok.” you sounded disappointed. and he grabbed you just a bit tighter before you could slip away.

“please don’t think i’m shooting you down.” he was quick to explain himself. “trust me, there is nothing i’d like to do more than come in there with you but if i’m late on my assignments one more time, yaga will be on my ass.” he clarified.

“satoru, you’re fine.” you smiled at him. “i understand, i don’t want you any later on more work than you already are. we can just continue this another time.” you smiled at him. he went in for another kiss and as your lips met you let out a satisfied hum.

“another time.” he agreed. he watched you enter your apartment and then made his way back to his car, when he finally took a seat and looked down, it was exactly as he thought. there he was, sporting a semi in his slacks and he wanted nothing more in the world than to go back to your apartment and ravish you. but he had already promised, another time.

- - -

for a while gojo wasn’t sure another time would happen. curses had been popping up more and more out of nowhere and when he finally got to the bottom of it, it was weeks later and he was scared you wouldn’t be interested in him anymore. but after you reassured him you still wanted to go out with him and understood how important work is he finally got you where he wanted you for weeks.

you were under him in his bed, completely bare for him. he was kissing you slowly, just as you taught him and your hands were all over him. trailing from his back to his chest and you rubbed your thumbs over his nipples jokingly but he had whined into your mouth and you laughed. giggles escaping your mouth and flowing into his. he pulled back to look at you with one of his eyebrows raised. “you like that?” you questioned.

“lil’ bit.” he murmured, his face completely red from you finding out he has sensitive nipples. you laughed some more before gripping his hair and pulling him back down to you.

“you don’t have to be embarrassed, i like that you let me touch you, let me figure out what makes you squirm.” you brought his lips back to yours and bucked your hips, his cock soaked in your wetness gliding against your heat and he moaned. he reached over to his nightstand, searching for a condom, pulling back from your lips to look at what he was doing. he finally found the foil packet and tore it open, ready to slide the rubber onto his cock but you stopped him, taking it from him and gliding it onto him instead. he groaned, your hand moving up and down his shaft as you finally got the condom on.

“fuck. fuck, stop.” you looked up at him. “you gotta stop or i’m gonna cum.” his voice was breathless, panting as you continued to move your hand.

“what if i want you to?” you challenged. he shook his head.

“can’t.” he grit his teeth. “fuck, i can’t. when i cum, i wanna be inside you. and it’d be a waste of a condom.” he laughed, you finally took your hand off him and he sighed. he lined his tip up with your entrance, circling it, smearing your slick over the condom and your pussy lips. your hole was clenching around nothing as he teased you.

“please ‘toru. don’t tease me.” you pouted at him and he thought that if you kept looking at him like that, he’d give you the world. he finally pushed in, stretching you open and settling so deep within you. you moaned in bliss as he buried himself to the hilt, pressing against all the spots that made you squirm. he choked on a groan when he finally settled all the way in, you’re so warm and he had to stop moving or he’d be damned to cum too early. he gave you time to adjust to his girth and length and for himself, staving off his orgasm. “you can move now, ‘toru.”

“fuck, just give me a second, please baby, just a second.” he moaned into your neck. you simply rubbed his back as he pressed his entire body flush against yours. he finally felt he was in the clear as the orgasm settled. he sat up, resting his arms beside your head and he started moving, setting a quick rhythmic pace. your nails dug into his lower stomach and he whined, face falling back into your neck.

“‘toru, ‘toru, slow down.” you sighed out, tits bouncing up and down from how fast he was going. he pulled his head up to look into your eyes. “slow down.” you said lowly, not a command but he followed your direction anyway. “i like it slow. like when you take your time.” you told him. you moved your hands from around his neck to his hips, gripping them as you showed him how to move. “l- like that.” you stuttered as he moved at the pace you enjoyed. your back arched, chest pressing against him as his cock rubbed against your walls. your moans were so soft and gentle in his ears. with the way you’re guiding his hips and how slow he’s moving he can really feel you and while he’s used to the fast pace of sex this is different. good different.

every time he pulls out and pushes back in he can feel you clenching around him, every twitch and clench of your pussy, he can feel and it has his head reeling. he’s never felt this good and he can feel his orgasm building again. his stomach is clenching and his hips are twitching with his every movement. your moans spur on his own and he’s whining into your ear. his hand moves to rub your clit causing your eyes to roll back and choke on a moan. “‘toru,” his name falling from your lips has a visible affect on him as he caves in on himself. “‘toru, i’m gonna cum.” your voice is high pitched, your knees locking around gojos hips as he keeps pressing into your sweet spot and rubbing your clit. your thighs are twitching and you clench so tightly around him he has to grit his teeth.

your back arches as your orgasm washes over you and you go completely silent. it takes you in waves, starting from the pit of your stomach and flowing throughout the rest of your body. your mind is completely blank, all you can see and hear is white and you don’t notice you start crying out for gojo, pulling him down into your grasp. he falls into you as your entire body trembles, shaking as you cum. your chest is heaving as you come to, body shaking as gojo keeps thrusting and rubbing your bundle of nerves. you feel his hips stutter against yours and his back tensing, he’s trying so hard to not cum yet, wanting at least one more orgasm out of you. he’s shocked he made it this far and he’s determined to keep going but you have other plans.

you grip his hair and turn yourself towards his ear nibbling at it and your other hand comes up to his chest and rubs over his nipple. you suck and bite at the skin behind his ear, the sensitive part you found earlier. your thumb and index finger tweak his nipple, pinching and twisting it. “want you to cum ‘toru. want to see how pretty you look when you cum in me.” he whines loudly into your ear. he’s trying so hard to not cum but when you play with his body they way you are and whisper in his ear so prettily, who is he to disobey you? his hips slam into yours one more time and he buries himself in you, trying to get as close as possible.

just as yours, his orgasm starts in his lower stomach but he swears he can feel it in his soul. he’s moaning and whining loudly in your ear as you continue to lick and prod at his body and he shakes. he’s stuttering over words, trying to tell you how good he feels but fails, his body won’t let him. his hips are grinding into yours, grinding into your clit and his cock is twitching as he shoots his load into the condom. he cums so hard for the first time in his life since he was a teenager, he swears he’s going to pass out. you’re still pinching his nipple and biting his ear, dragging his orgasm out as rope, after rope, after rope, leak from his over sensitive tip. he’s crying now, tears falling onto the skin of your neck as he keeps cumming. there’s so much of it he fears it will leak out of the condom but is that so bad? to see his cum leak out of your clenching hole and he wishes that you would have let him go bare. he prays to god you’ll let him fuck you without a condom next time.

his body finally calms down and he falls slack on top of you, cock still twitching deep in you. he’s panting heavily, his chest finally filling with air after holding his breath for so long. you move slightly, just trying to get comfortable and he cries out. “fuck don’t move, ‘s sensitive.” he sobs, voice so high he barely recognizes himself. you freeze in your spot and murmur apologies, kissing wherever you can reach and rubbing both your hands up and down his back. he’s still shaking and you fear it won’t stop.

“satoru.” you say worriedly. “are you ok?” you’re concerned, so concerned. you hadn’t meant to harm him, you really hadn’t but now you’re afraid you had. he laughs but stops almost immediately when it causes his hips the slightest movement.

“m’ ok.” he mumbles. “jus… i’ve never cum that hard.”

“oh…” you’re surprised, to say the least. while you know gojo isn’t the most popular with girls - he’ll never actually admit it out loud but he’s too afraid to actually approach a woman, past relationships and flings were initiated by the female counterpart - you expected him to have better experiences than you. he finally pulls out, mustering enough strength from his body that feels like jelly, pulling off them condom, throwing it to where he hopes the trash can is and collapsing beside you. he falls onto his stomach and places his head on a pillow to look at you.

“are you ok?” he mumbles sleepily, he’s never usually worn out after sex but you’ve gotten to him and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“i’m ok.” you move closer to him, resting your head on your hand that was supported by your arm and trailing your fingers up and down his back, tracing the freckles and blemishes there.

“i really like you, y’know.” you blush at his words.

“i really like you too.”

“i was being serious.” you raise an eyebrow at him, questioning what he meant. “i’ve never cum that hard. i don’t think anyone’s ever taken their time to see what i like. but you did. you always see what i’m ok with before anything. thank you.” his eyes are falling shut.

“you’re welcome.” you whisper leaning over to press a kiss into his hair, ready to turn on your other side and fall alseep but gojo wraps his arm around you and pulls you into him. tangling his body with yours before pulling his comforter over you two and passing out. you look at him and giggle. just as him, you could get used to this.

of course you two don’t always take it slow over the course of your relationship. you both have your moments when you’re begging for more, faster but gojo likes when you’re like this and he enjoys taking his time with you and slowing down.

————————————————————————

i’m in heat. (it’s ovulation week.)

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