#how many stupid text posts can i cook up
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the guy who walked out of the spiral because he was late for dinner was actually shane madej
#tma#baja’s blasting#how many stupid text posts can i cook up#bfu#watcher#tma 100#mag 100#shane madej#love mag 100 so much btw contender for my favorite episode#back in my ghoul boys era sorry bout that gang#it will happen again#the magnus archives
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Just let me go - Bucky Barnes x reader
Okay this one is ANGSTTYYY Also there will be a part two! Posted tomorrow :)
TW: kidnapping, swearing, suicidal thoughts, guns, angst, sadness, suicidal ideation, also I haven't proof read this aha I'm sorry!!
“Sergeant Barnes, there is someone here to see you” One of the agent said as they stepped into the training room,
“Who?” Bucky replied curtly, being halfway through a session with Nat he didn’t exactly want to be interrupted no matter who it was
“I don’t know but she looks upset, if I was you I’d be worried” the agent said with a laugh, making a few of the other trainee’s laugh
“Don’t forget your rank” Bucky said bluntly,
“Sorry Sargent Barnes” The agent said,
“You can start sparring, I’ll be back soon and I expect to see some improvements from yesterday” Nat said following Bucky out the room,
“Who do you think it is?” Nat asked
“I don’t know” Bucky said
“What about that girl you went out with the other night?”
“I don’t think she’d come here” Bucky said with a huff, “she didn’t like me” he said
“Ooh what about the girl from Tony’s party?” Nat suggested, it sounded as though the idea of Bucky having a girl round was entertaining to her, Bucky narrowed his eyes at Nat,
“No” He said bluntly,
“Tensions killing me” Nat said with a dry laugh
“Come on Nat, leave it alone” he said, turning the corner to the common room, he stopped immediately his breath hitching in his throat for a split second,
“Y/N?” Nat beamed running over to give her a hug almost knocking her off of her feet “It’s been like a year since I saw you!” She grinned,
“Hey Nat” She said gently,
“You have to stay for dinner, Wanda’s cooking, she’ll want to see you. So will Steve, and Tony, oh and Sam!” She said “I’ll text them all now, they’ll set up a place for you”
“Nat, I don’t think—” Y/N started
“I don’t want to hear it, you’re staying” She said pulling out her phone and quickly tapping a message,
“Y/N” Bucky said bluntly, his voice void of all emotions.
“Hey” Y/N cut herself off unsure of what to call him so deciding against calling him anything, her eyes wandered to his arm, “the black and gold suits you” She said softly “Always said silver wasn’t your colour”
“Shuri agreed with you” Bucky nodded
An uncomfortable silence settled across the two of them,
“I should go” She said quickly,
“Why did you come?” He asked a part of him not wanting her to disappear, not again
“I, uh I found, I found this” Y/N said her cheeks flushing red as she passed Bucky a t-shirt, one that he had forgotten about, but it certainly looked more worn now than how he remembered it. His heart squeezed at the thought of her wearing it after everything
“This is why you came?” Bucky said
“You’re right, it was stupid. I’m gonna go” Y/N said quickly, shaking her head as she turned, Bucky knew how she felt. He had imaged many times making an excuse to go and see her, he just didn’t think she was the kind of person to go through with it.
“Y/N! Oh my, Nat said you were here. I’ve just laid the table dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes which is just long enough for you to catch me up on your life! Sorry Buck, but she’s with me until dinner. Then you can have her back” Wanda said not offering Bucky or Y/N a second option.
----
“So Y/N where have you been?” Tony asked as they all sat down at the table “it’s like you dropped off the face of the earth
“Just around,” She said quietly
“I came by your apartment, but it was empty” Tony said,
“I had to move out”
“You moved out?” Nat said “How come?” She said worry filling her voice
“Life happens” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Bucky’s eyes fell on her face, watching how her eyes studied her plate not daring to look up
“Well things always find a way of getting better” Wanda said squeezing Y/N’s hand on the top of the table
“How about you guys, I’ve seen good things on the news” Y/N said softly
“We’re okay” Steve said,
“I”m pleased,” Y/N said with a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes,
“What’s your new apartment like?” Wanda asked,
“It’s nice” Y/N said gently ,
“You should give me the address,” Tony said commandingly
“I’ll send it over to you, I still don’t quite know it off by heart” She said, it was a lie. Bucky knew it was a lie, even if he couldn’t hear her heartbeat pick up, he would be able to tell from the way she couldn’t look at anyone in their eye.
“What part of town is it?” Steve pressed,
“I really appreciate you guys having me for dinner but I’m going to head home” She said quickly, “I’ll see you guys around” She said picking up her coat,
“I'm sorry if I said something wrong” Steve apologised quickly, he should’ve known better than to press her, Bucky thought
“You don’t need to” Tony said trying to savour the dinner
“Why don’t you stay for a movie?” Wanda suggested,
“I need to go” She said standing up and quickly hurrying out of the room
A gentle silence fell across the room, “I shouldn’t have asked her” Steve said
“It’s not on you” Wanda said “I don’t think that anyone could have convinced her to open up to us”
“I’ll find her address and go over tomorrow, it’ll be easier without anyone else there” Tony said fiercely,
“She won’t talk to you” Bucky said
“And she’ll talk to you?” Tony snapped “You’re the reason we are in this mess in the first place. She is my friend and I will do what I think is right”
“What even happened when you broke up?” Wanda asked
“ Nothing” Bucky said
“Don’t lie” Tony snapped
“What the hell did you do? I thought you two were fine” Nat asked
“You told us all you two were fine after the breakup” Wanda said
“Leave him alone” Steve said sternly
Bucky sighed softly “She just came to drop off a shirt”
“Nobody drops off a shirt after a year” Tony said “She wanted to see you and you couldn’t even give her the time of day” He snapped
“She’ll be okay, I’ll come with you tomorrow, we can check in on her” Wanda said
Bucky didn’t dare to say anything, he just nodded gently. It was a thank you, all be it a silent one, but a thank you none the less.
----
“Tony, you need to see this” Wanda said as an alert popped up on the screen alerting Tony to a new message, they had been in Tony's lab for a few hours scouting out Y/N's new apartment.
“Have you seen where she is living?” Tony said scanning through the photos that FRIDAY had brought up on his screen “it’s worse than I thought”
“Tony now” Wanda said fiercely,
“What is it?” Tony asked, turning around, his face dropping when he saw the screen. “Is that?”
“Y/N” Wanda finished
“Who sent this” Tony asked
“I don’t know, it’s anonymous. I can’t trace the signal either”
“FRIDAY, call the team and get them into the conference room now”
“Yes Mr Stark” FRIDAY answered
“We can’t tell Bucky” Wanda said,
“We can and we will because he is going to help us”
“That’s a bad idea” Wanda said
“He once was one the best assassins, no debate. As much as I don’t like the tinman, he can and will help us” Tony said leaving little room for debate.
“Tony what the hell? We’re meant to have the week off of missions” Nat said, sitting down in a chair with a mug of coffee nursed in her hands
“This is different” Tony said,
“How so?” Steve asked
“This is personal” Tony said sternly,
“It’s Y/N” Wanda whispered,
“What happened to her?” Bucky asked
“I was sent this video” Tony said
“We thought it was best we watched it together” Wanda added
“FRIDAY, play the video please”
The screen went dark for a moment and then lit up with a picture of Y/N locked in a room, Bucky felt a strange wave of familiarity wash over him
“Tell your friends what we want” A voice spoke, it sent chills down Bucky’s spine, he put her in this position. He had done everything to keep her safe, after all these years, this was his fault.
“They won’t come” Y/N’s voice was strangely calm
“Don’t be difficult girl, tell them what we want” The voice spoke again
“You want the soldier, you want someone who’s gone. But here’s the catch. Even if he wasn’t gone, even if the solider still existed he wouldn’t come. Not for me.” She said
“We’ve done our research” The voice mused, there was a hint of amusement in it’s voice, as though it had caught Y/N out,
“Your research is wrong. I haven’t spoken to Bucky in a year, he does’t care” Y/N snapped, a gunshot sounded through the conference room, making them jump
“Turn it off” Bucky’s voice was quiet but cut through the entire room
“Shooting blanks at me won’t work” Y/N snapped “If you’re going to kill me then kill me”
“Turn it off” Bucky said once more
“We want the soldat” The voice behind the camera spoke
“Then you’ll have to find someone who he cares about, because it isn’t me” She snapped
“You have six hours or she dies”
The camera turned off and the room went dark. All eyes turned to Bucky,
“When was this sent?” He said
“Barely ten minutes ago” Wanda answered softly,
“Let’s start at her apartment” Steve said firmly “Wanda, Clint you’re with me, Tony, Nat you should try and find something from the video, there might be an idea of where they’re keeping her.”
“I need to go as well” Bucky said
“No” Wanda said “You need to stay away from this”
“I spent years tracking people down, I think I’m the best chance we have to finding Y/N” He said challenging anyone to speak out against him
“I’ll go as support” Sam said patting Bucky’s back comfortingly.
“We need to go, now” Steve said
----
Steve’s skin crawled at the sight of Y/N’s apartment. He hesitated before pushing the door open, it creaked and echoed through the tiny studio. Clothes were thrown across the room, plates were stacked up by the sink, two blankets were half heartedly thrown across the bed, no sign of a duvet or pillow. Bucky had to tear his eyes away from her apartment for a minute to regain his composure.
“I can’t believe she was staying here” Wanda said stepping into it
“It was a means to an end” Steve said,
“I should have helped her” Wanda sighed softly, her eyes falling on the pile of clothes in the corner of the room,
“We didn’t know” Clint said
“We should have” Wanda snapped “Look at how she was living, we should have been able to help”
“She was always good at surviving” Steve said firmly
“She shouldn’t have had to be, we are her friends and the moment her and Bucky split we left her” Wanda said, tears building in her eyes
“They must have taken her here, look at the mess” Steve said changing the subject quickly,
“No” Bucky said softly “This is Y/N” Bucky said with a sigh
“What do you mean?” Clint asked “this is normal?”
“When she got busy, she used to get messy, never put things away. Found it hard to do anything” Bucky said swallowing tightly “We argued about it” He admitted
“So did they take her here, or not?” Sam asked
“Not here, this is normal for her. It didn’t happen here” Bucky said firmly
“Ok so that’s something” Sam said, attempting at a loose sense of positivity
“It must’ve happened by the compound” Wanda said “think about it, if they wanted Bucky then surely they’d be keeping tabs on him. When she left last night they must have taken the next best thing to get to him” She said
“We need to look at security cameras” Clint suggested
“Who wants Bucky though?” Sam said, “I think we’re focussing too much on Y/N, rather than on what they want”
“Hydra” Steve said through pursed lips
“It can’t be” Wanda said
“It has to be” Clint confirmed “It makes the most sense”
“So who are we looking at? Zemo?” Sam asked
“Maybe” Steve said “Doesn’t feel right though”, Steve’s thought was cut short by his phone ringing
“Steve, I’ve got an address” Tony said, “suit up”
----
Bucky couldn’t stop shaking, he’d been on tougher missions, he’d been in tougher briefings, he had almost died more times than he could count. But this felt like the worst day of his life,
“We’ve been sent an address,” Tony said
“It’s a trap” Nat said
“We don’t know that” Steve suggested, “Who sent it to you?”
“It came with a video, it was from the same people as before”
“What’s the video?” Sam asked, noticing the tension that had fallen across the room,
Tony instructed FRIDAY to play the video, Y/N’s face was brought up on the screen,
“Y/N tell them what you just told me” The voice spoke
“No” She spat through gritted teeth, her hair was matted with blood which dripped slowly from a wound on her hair line, her face was bruised and Bucky was silently pleased he could only see to the base on her neck, anymore and he was sure he would throw up. The skin he had once pressed kisses to so gently was purple and blotted with blood.
“Our captive here has a death wish” The voice said again, “She had her little suicide letters in her pocket when we caught her” it sneered
“Shut the hell up” Y/N snapped, there was something in her eyes that scared Bucky, she looked so void of the love that she had once been filled with
“She was on the top of a building when we found her, she’s only got 3 hours left avengers. Are you going to give in to her wishes?”
“Just kill me” She whispered
“What was that?” The voice asked, it was mocking her, teasing her, it was a sight that Bucky couldn’t stand
“Kill me!” She shouted, her voice sent chills down each of the spines of her old friends “Just kill me” She said settling into a bought of sobs,
The video stopped and cut to a map with a pin placed directly in it.
“We need to go” Steve said “We leave in 5”
----
The quinjet landed softly and Bucky could feel a knot growing in his stomach, he had been on enough rescue missions to know the ways that this could go. It was an old hydra base, one that Bucky was sure should’ve been emptied years ago. But here it stood, admittedly it was partly falling down but the cells were deep underground and the structures were built to last. He knew that much well enough, if he strained his ears he would swear that he could hear Y/N’s cries, but he convinced himself it was all in his head.
“She’s going to be okay” Steve said
“I can’t loose her Steve” Bucky admitted “I’ve lost her once, I can’t watch her die”
“Then don’t let her” Steve said
Bucky followed behind the rest of the team, Wanda stood beside him,
“Do you want me to take the fear away?” She asked under her breath, knowing nobody else would be able to hear her
“No, I need it” Bucky said, he didn’t explain anything else but Wanda nodded,
“Let’s go get Y/N home” Wanda said
Bucky followed Tony’s lead, any other mission he would have tried to take the lead off of Tony but he couldn’t for this. Y/N needed Tony’s planning, Y/N’s life couldn’t be in Bucky’s hands. He would never forgive himself if anything happened. They descended into the base, it was too quiet for Bucky’s liking. Hydra would never have kept it this quiet, something was wrong.
“Welcome home soldat” the words echoed through the halls,
“They know we are here” Steve muttered,
“She’s down here” Tony said, taking another set of steps downwards, Bucky could hear her shallow breaths getting louder slowly with each step he took.
“Y/N?” Steve called out,
“I told you to fucking kill me” Y/N screamed, Tony immediately picked up the pace to a run following the sound of her voice. Their footsteps echoed through the concrete walls, as they came across a long hallway filled with cells made of glass. Bucky’s skin crawled at the sight. This was what he wanted to protect Y/N from, she shouldn’t see this.
“KIll me” Her voice rang through the cells,
“Soldat” Bucky turned to find the voice behind him. “Do the honours?” The man said, he was older than Bucky thought he would be.
“We’re surrounded” Steve said,
“There’s no getting out of this” The man sneered,
“That’s kind of where you are wrong” Tony said smartly, “You really think there’s only four of us?” He laughed
“What?”
“The rest of our team have cleared out your base, and they’re on their way” He said with a smirk “Also not only have we got two super soldiers, we’ve also got a freaky witch and me, ironman, you might of heard of me”
“Ironman, you forget. You have an unstable winter soldier on your team, All I have to do is say a few words and he’s under my control right?”
“Doesn’t work anymore” Bucky snapped
“I’m bored” Nat said sneaking up from behind, with a wicked grin she pulled the trigger and the body fell to the ground with a thud. Instantly Bucky turned and shot the guard who was keeping him surrounded “God why are all the people we go against so boring” Nat said with a huff, once they had dealt with the guards.
“Let’s just get Y/N” Tony said letting out a breath.
Wanda took a step away from the group into a nearby cell, it was as though she felt her.
“Guys she’s here” Wanda called,
Bucky took a deep breath and turned the corner, Y/N sat slumped on a chair, out of breath and covered in bruises and dried blood.
“Please” She whimpered
“We’re going to get you out of here” Wanda said slowly untying her gently
“Please no” She cried
“You’re safe” Steve said kneeling at her side
“No Please, let me go” She said
“We’re letting you go, you’re going to be ok”
“No, please” She sobbed again “You have to let me die” She cried as Wanda pulled the ties away from her
“Y/N, we can’t do that” Steve said,
“You’re going to be okay” Tony promised
“Just let me go please?”
PART TWO
#bucky barnes#bucky angst#bucky x reader#bucky#bucky barnes x y/n#itsthewritergal#bucky masterlist#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x#bucky barnes masterlist#bucky x
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Slumber Party
Ellie williams x fem reader!
A/n: Hello my lovelies, first post on here (more active on wattpad) but thought I'd occasionally post here when I'm bored. If you have any requests at all they're definitely open! Also this is kinda short but I don't plan on making the next part as short. Enjoyyyy ☆°•
My masterlist
Summary: like the song slumber party. Ellie thinks she can treat you better then your shitty girlfriend
Warnings: smut, (not in this chapter) read at your own risk (mdni) Dom but soft, protective, ellie! Reader is quite innocent, is very soft also. Cunnilingus (duh- also not in this chapter) your girlfriend in this is an asshole. Abuse, somewhat angst, crying. Lmk if there was anything else!
Pt 2 here! ~ pt 3 here!
Ellie hated Isabel, your girlfriend. She treated you horribly, and Ellie really hated when you'd bawl your eyes out over the phone to her whenever Isabel would storm out of your shared apartment. She hated the fact anyone would make you cry. She never liked seeing you unhappy. Isabel shared this hatred. She never liked you hanging around Ellie, even if you have known Ellie almost all your life. She would scold you after everytime you and her would hang out. You'd come back to the apartment smiling. "What're you smiling about?" You just smile more happy to tell. "Ellie she makes the funniest jo-" "I don't like you being round her Y/n." You would always stare blankly at her, struggling to find the words, leaving your mouth open while you ponder.
Today was not off to a great start. Ellie had just been over, you two were having such a great time. "I should probably get going squirt." She would flash her smile at you, ruffling your hair slightly, as she stood to go to the door. Ellie was a bit older then you, and come to think of it so was Isabel. Let's just say you had a thing for older ladies. (Only by like 6 years) You also stand up, seeing her out and saying goodbye. But as you open the door you're met woth those dark brown eyes. Isabel had just arrived back from work. She glares at the auburn haired girl, making her way inside. "Well hi to you too." Ellie scoffs then looks at you. "Text you when im home." You give her a small nod and a smile before she leaves to her car. You turn around to be faced with a stern Isabel. "You know how I feel about her being in our home. Especially when I'm not here." You never really talk back to Isabel you always apologize and go into the kitchen to make food. She was truly a bitch and she started showing her true colors the moment you two moved in together. You never understood what you would do so wrong. You made every dinner. Every lil food she'd want. The laundry. Just to please her. And although it'd work, it'd never last. "I'm sorry Iz.. She just really wanted to show me this art she was working on and in person. Nothing more I swear." She let's out a scoff. "Why should I believe you it's almost every day you spend with her. It's sickening and pathetic." You stare at her as she says that. She would always make you feel stupid. When in fact you were quite smart you knew what most things meant. Maybe not so much bedroom stuff. But you were book smart nonetheless. Speaking of bedroom. You were basically a virgin. You've kissed Isabel many times done a lil something here and there but it was definitely not much. So you were certainly not confident on that subject. Although Ellie would tell you all sorts of stories about the girls she's been with. It fascinated you to learn all these new terms and what everything was. "I promise to talk to you before hand next time-" She instantly cuts you off. "Why are you still standing here. Cook, I've been working all day." She spits going to your guys shared bedroom. You sigh doing so. And that was your life.
It was maybe a couple weeks after, you had felt like you were coming down with something so you decided that bed rest was the best thing. It was now 3 in the afternoon. You were sleeping in your bed when the door busted open. "What the fuck are you still doing in bed it's almost 4!" Isabel was home and not happy. You sit up a bit. "Yes I know I'm sorry bu-" She drops her bags. "This place is a mess, there's dishes out. Foods not even ready. Laundry is still in the hamper. What fucking else." You look at her softening your look. "Iz, I'm sorry- I woke up feeling horrid so I decided to stay in bed." She shakes her head. "Even when I have the worst headache known to man I still get my ass up and work. You know all that sweet money, I work for that. And you work here that is your job." This was one of the moments were you'd feel bad for yourself. Weak. Weaker right now considering you're sick. You look down at the sheets. "Are you even listening to me? You spoiled brat." She doesn't do what she does next often but when she does you know you're in the shit. She hits you. Hard. "Wonder why I have a headache all the time. It's you and your whiney voice. Look at how pathetic you are." She glares down at your drowsy figure. You feel tears finally sting as you had held them in. Refusing to let yourself be so weak, but you give in. Feeling overwhelmed with emotions right now. "What the fuck are you gunna be like when I go away in a few weeks huh? You better keep this place spotless you know about the cameras. I'll be watching you." Yes. The oh so lovely cameras. They're only in the kitchen, living room and laundry. The only places you slave away at. "I will iz I promise." She hums. "I'll believe it when i see it. I needa go out and grab some stuff. Make sure dinners ready when I get back." She says before getting her keys and leaving. You then sob. Letting it all out as you shakily grab your phone going to the only person who knows how to comfort you. Ellie.
When she arrives not long after, giving a honk. You go outside and get in the passenger seat. "Off anywhere?" You shake your head. "No that's alright. I don't want to get yelled at.." Ellie sighs. "Bub, you can't keep letting her treat you like this-" "if I left I'd have nowhere to go Els.." She keeps looking at you. "Yes you do. Mine." You let out a small breath looking down at your hands. "Everythings so messy." She nods, even if you can't see. "I know angel but my offer still and will forever stand. I think you should take it." You just wipe the small tears forming at your eyes. "How was your day?" She hates how you change the subject. She always has. She wants to talk about it with you more. Comfort you more. "Pretty easy going. Do you want a hug love?" You shake your head. "Its best if you don't come near me right now-" "I promise it's not gunna affect me if you cry. You know that." You nod. "I know, but I'm sick- thats why she yelled at me.." She furrows her brows. "She got mad at you because you weren't feeling well? What a fucking bitch." You sigh, in the midst of a slight cough. "Angel you should go back in and rest. Let me help-" You immediately shake your head. "She'd know you were there. I- I couldn't risk that." You always felt awful. Not because you got yelled at but because she would want to pick a fight with Ellie too. Ellie was older then Iz too, more mature. Never bought into her crap. "I'll make sure she doesn't yell at you, you really need rest you work your ass off-" You stop her talking. "I don't want her to try anything with you Els." She shakes her head. "She won't. I promise just let me make you some soup and tuck you in. Please, just that." You contemplate whether or not you should but you nod regardless.
She was making the soup trying to be as speedy in hopes she wouldn't bump into Isabel. "Here you go. Say you made it for yourself. I also cleaned a lil." She sends you a wink. And when she says a lil she means the whole lot. "Els, you seriously didn't have to." She smiles gently. "No but I wanted to. I also made something else. Knowing grump would be hungry when she gets back." You look at her so thankful. "You have no idea how much I appreciate you." She gives you a kiss on the head. "Call if you need anything else. I love you." She says while looking in your eyes. "I love you too Els." You respond sweetly. Oh how stupid you were to realize how INlove she was with you. But she plans to show you sooner or later. As she's the one you should truly, be with.
#elliewilliams#ellie williams the last of us smut#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams smut#ellie williams series
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I really love the EMTTS and every update is making my day, so thank you for being great!
I keep thinking about the shared calendar posts and have wanted to ask about it since the first post so long ago. I know it's been mentioned how annoying it is for Steve when it's not used in the way he hoped, but has there ever been a situation where it was really genuinely bad? Like, a lot of drama could've been avoided if it had been used properly? And did the kids and Eddie then feel bad about misusing it/start using it the way Steve intended? I know it drives me crazy when people intentionally ignore/misuse stuff like that that I set up. What's Steve's reaction? AHHH, so many questions!
Don't worry about answering, just do it whenever you have time and feel motivated :) Hope you have a lovely day/night!
It’s not that people don’t use the shared calendar. It’s just that they don’t use it in the way that Steve wants them to.
Like, for example, Lucas has no problem putting his work schedule into the calendar at the beginning of the month, but he never remembers to put when he picks up shifts. Robin will input her class schedule at the beginning of a semester but not her ever-changing office hours. Dustin uses the calendar frequently but he is always vague about what he’s doing (i.e. he puts ‘Moon’ instead of stargazing) and Mike blocks out time slows when he busy but never says what he’s doing.
Steve wants to know where everybody is at all times and what they’re doing. Is that a little unrealistic? Yes, and Steve can acknowledge that. But it’s still frustrating when he misses something because it was mentioned to him once and he forgot.
But also, Steve can’t drive.
He is very reliant on his friends and family. Especially because up to a couple years ago, Eddie still traveled quite a lot. Steve’s gotten better over the years at acknowledging that he needs help and asking for it, but it is a lot harder to inconvenience someone.
Steve doesn’t like Uber or any of the ride-sharing apps. It feels unsafe because he knows that there are moments where he loses time and he’s not quite in his head. There are times when he gets stuck in the fog or lost in a bad memory, and he knows that he can be reactionary. His friends know how to walk him out of that and he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt a stranger or get hurt, or get lost.
Steve carpools to school, but there have been times where that’s fallen through and he ends up feeling like he’s bothering someone because he didn’t know that they had plans already. Eddie was out of town once and Steve had a doctor’s appointment, but everybody he texted was busy so he just canceled it. He ran out of his migraine medication but turns out half their friends were at a concert so he dealt with the fallout alone.
It all kind of comes to a head one evening.
Steve is the person that plans most of their game nights and their get-togethers. They’re typically hosted at his and Eddie’s house and Steve puts a lot of effort into planning them. There’s a Saturday that no one has marked with anything, so he gets up that morning and plans a game night. He bakes and he cooks. He cleans the whole house and gets out their board games. He even sets the table for D&D even though he hardly ever plays with them.
Then Eddie tells him that he has a plane to catch. They talked about it the other day. Don’t you remember? And Dustin’s busy. He has a date. He literally told Steve about it. Mike and Will have had these plans for weeks and Max and El are at a spa. Lucas is visiting Erica in DC. He said he was going to last week, remember?
Robin is swamped with work and Nancy’s not even in town and apparently hasn’t been all week. She sent that text in the groupchat about it, remember?
And it’s frustrating.
Steve knows that it’s kinda dumb to plan a party and expect people to show up on the same day, but that’s how it’s always been, and it’s – it feels like he’s being called stupid when everybody keeps asking him if he remembers. He obviously didn’t.
All it takes is for Eddie to ask him what’s wrong for Steve to snap. He’s frustrated and he’s annoyed, and he’s a little mean about it because Eddie is the worst about using the calendar. He just says things and expects that Steve is going to remember them, and it feels like they’re making fun of him. It feels like he’s standing outside the room that they’re all in and they’re laughing at him because he doesn’t know how to get inside.
“And it’s going to get worse,” Steve says, blinking tears out of his eyes. “I’m just going to keep forgetting and everybody is going to move on, and it’s going to be like I’m not even a part of it anymore.”
“Baby, that’s never going to happen. I – We won’t let that happen. It’s just one mess up.”
“It’s already happening! You already do it.”
Eddie ends up missing his flight because he’s not going to leave Steve when he’s upset like this. He’s supposed to be working on the backing tracks for an album he’s producing, but there’s tomorrow or maybe the day after that. He does end up sending out a text to the other party members, letting them know that they’ve got to make an effort to use the calendar more.
#it takes a day or two to get everybody free but Eddie manages to surprise Steve with a game night#which wasn’t on the calendar but he’s trying to be better about that#eddie munson tiktok saga#steve harrington#eddie munson
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I bring forth many more incorrect Sunny and Migs quotes!
-
Miguel: Is something burning?
Sunny, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
Miguel: Sunny, the toaster is literally on fire.
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Miguel: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Sunny: It was autocorrect.
Miguel: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Sunny: Yes.
-
Miguel: I owe you one.
Sunny: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.
-
Sunny: That was so hot, Miguel.
Miguel: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.
Sunny: I'm so in love with you.
-
Sunny: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
Miguel, joking: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.
-
[When Miggy and Sunny finally get engaged, to the rest of the spider crew]
Miguel: We’re getting married, bitches!
Sunny: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.
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Miguel: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Sunny: Wow. They sound stupid.
Miguel: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Sunny: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Miguel: I guess you’re right. Hey Sunny, I love you.
Sunny: See! Just say that!
Miguel: Holy fucking shit.
Sunny: If that flies over their head then, sorry Miguel, but they're too dumb for you.
Miguel: Sunny...
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Sunny: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.
Miguel: This is a lie.
Miguel: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.
Miguel: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.
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Miguel: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
Sunny: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.
Miguel, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.
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Miguel: I like your new pants!
Sunny: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Miguel: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Sunny: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.
Miguel: That’s… not what I meant.
Sunny: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Miguel.
-
Miguel walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sunny, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Sunny, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)
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Sunny: Miguel and I are no longer dating.
Miguel: Sunny, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.
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Sunny: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?
Miguel: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me. Because I’ve obviously gone crazy.
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Miguel: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Sunny: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Miguel: That one. I want that one.
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Sunny: Are we fighting or flirting?
Miguel: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-!
Sunny: Your point?
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Miguel: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—!
Sunny: Hi.
Miguel: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
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Miguel: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?
Sunny: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?
I’m not even gonna add on to this glorious post other than I’m proud🥹
#miguel o’hara x reader#spiderman 2099#spiderman#spiderman across the spiderverse#spiderman 2099 x reader#spiderman into the spiderverse#miguel ohara#miguel o’hara#across the spiderverse#fanfic
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fic pride tag
thank you so much for the tags my lovely friends <3 @bigassbowlingballhead @eusuntgratie
Rules: Post your favourite line or passage from as many of your published works as you’d like. Let yourself feel proud of your creations! Tag as many people as you post snippets, so your fellow fic friends can be proud, too.
this is going to be interesting because I have to be nice to myself and proud of my work lol let's goooo (all of these are firstprince because i'm vanilla)
1. Gorgeous. Another short little dude in my T Swift series, inspired by the song. This is the first line, and I've always loved it:
They are in a small bar in Paris, drunk on French 75s and the nearness of each other, staring at the Eiffel Tower when Alex starts making fun of him.
2. i wanna touch your body (so fucking electric). my beloved first smut fic!! so proud of how this one turned out actually. here's my favorite bit of the boys sexting each other
Later that night, when Henry is safely sequestered in his rooms and able to do what he likes, he opens his text thread with Alex and sends a barb of his own.
Thinking about the way your dick looks when it’s curved against your belly. You’re so fucking pretty.
Alex’s phone goes off, and he looks away from the skillet that he’s cooking chicken in to check. He reads Henry’s text and his cheeks flame, a bolt of lightning heads straight to his groin, and his dick stirs.
Pretty?
Yes. You have a pretty cock, Alex. Sue me.
Alex moans, and he can’t think of what to say because his mind is flushed with want and need. Luckily, Henry seems to know this and follows up.
I want your pretty cock in my pretty mouth so I can hear you beg.
Alex’s dick is painfully hard, and he’s grateful for just a moment, in his haze of arousal, that he’d swapped his characteristically tight jeans for sweatpants when he’d gotten home. He manages to tap out a response before he starts taking care of himself.
I’d be begging so loud that we’d rattle the ghosts of all those dead gay kings in that castle. I’d peel the wallpaper with my screams for you, baby.
Alex finishes coming as soon as the smoke alarm in the kitchen goes off. He’s burned the chicken.
3. i could've danced all night. henry tutu fic!! this fic is so filthy, and i love this bit
“You…your dick is, uh, ahhhh, cock, and…” is all Alex manages to spit out before throwing his head back and abandoning all pretense of sexy talk. He can’t focus on anything but the feeling of Henry’s giant hands on him ( seriously , is anything about this man tiny?) and how close he is to coming.
“My ‘dick is cock’, eh? That’s eloquent. Pure poetry, love,” Henry says with a low, throaty laugh, feeling himself going even harder than he already had been. Alex cock drunk is his favorite thing; the idea that he can fuck Alex stupid does something to him. He strokes even faster, shutting Alex up before he can even attempt some kind of comeback.
4. only bought this dress so you could take it off. alex in a little black dress and red bottoms! utter filth. here's my favorite part.
Alex knows what’s coming soon, who’s coming soon, and the thought brings a grin to his face. “Look at you, so out of your mind that you’re reduced to fucking a carpet because you just can’t get enough. It hurts, doesn’t it, you little slut? It hurts but it feels good, it feels so good , doesn’t it?” He punctuates each ‘good’ with a dig of the heels, and then Henry screams, fucking screams like his spirit is being wrenched from his body.
He waits until Henry’s finished—he can tell by the way he is just lying there, spent, his body heaving and out of breath—and then he steps off. The vague part of Alex that is still himself underneath the fog of arousal that’s clouded his head wants to pull Henry up, clean him off, make sure he’s okay. That part, however, is locked in the recesses of his brain, and he wants to keep going because it’s his turn now, and by the look Henry gives him when he sits up, he knows that, too.
“Come here.” Alex snaps his fingers again, and Henry starts to rise to his feet. “Did I say to stand up? I said to come here. ” Henry stops, looks up at Alex like he is confused, but he isn’t, and Alex knows it. He drops to his knees and crawls forward, his knees pushing through the mess he’s made without even thinking, moves forward until he is right in front of Alex.
5. turn the desert to glass (you would be the one). henry's tummy fic, the fic I am most proud of. i worked so hard on it!! here's two of my favorite parts bc i can't pick just one
After a few moments, Alex rests one hand on the lower part of Henry’s belly, where he’s the softest, and leans over to grab another spoonful of mousse. “You look like the most pampered, spoiled, overfed little prince right now,” he says in a low voice as the bite of rich dessert disappears down Henry’s pretty throat.
and
A tiny sound squeaks past Henry’s lips, a sound he can’t control but knows will drive Alex mad, a sound that means more . Alex slips a finger inside of him, and another, opens him up like he is a book he’s been dying to read, and Henry bares down shamelessly, his own hand twisted in the sheets at his side.
6. Your Lipstick, His Collar. my multi chap emo early 2000s college au being co-written with my bestie! this fic is so. much. fun. and here's a bit I love from one of my chapters:
“Here, you dropped this.” Alex’s iPod, suddenly pinker than anything in the world had a real right to be, is being handed to him. Alex looks up finally and his stomach does a flip as Henry’s eyes, as blue as any ocean he’s ever seen, lock with his. Now that he’s up close, he can see the remnants of yesterday’s eyeliner still smudged around Henry’s eyes, and he wants to know why and how and when and where he’s worn it. He wants to sit next to him and watch him put it on. He wants to watch Henry squeeze into those jeans that are really too tight to be allowed, really too tight to be anything more than a major tease, and he wants to…oh, he has to stop thinking right fucking now because things are going to get even more awkward if he doesn’t.
“Thanks,” Alex says quietly, trying to not think about the feeling of Henry’s fingers against his as he takes the iPod. They’re soft and gentle, and all he can imagine is the delicate way they must hold an eyeliner pencil.
“I like that song,” Henry says, and Alex can’t handle the way the words come out of his mouth, the way they fall from his lips in the lightest, most dignified accent, like the gentle flapping of a bird’s wing.
“What?” Alex blurts stupidly, the word falling from his lips with a thud and rolling down the sidewalk like a giant turd. Christ, he’s an idiot.
7. take me out, and take me home. my newest, my lil baby!
Alex tells him the things he’s never told anyone, and Henry places a hand on his knee while he talks. He is quiet and still and holds Alex’s words with so much reverence and care. In return, Henry tells him the things he’s most afraid of, the things that have hurt him the most. He stares Alex in the eyes and gives him pieces of himself that he has never given to anyone.
tagging: @england-would-fall @henrysfox @agostobuwan @stratocumulusperlucidus @priincebutt
@piratefalls @doublecheekedkinard those are my 7 but please feel free to use this open tag and tag me if you want to do it!!
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enhypen as your best friend
requested; yep :p
warnings; mentions of food in jay and niki’s, minor mention of bullying in sunghoon’s
note; this took me so long to write 😭😭writer’s block is truly a bitch, but hopefully i’ll be posting more often in the near future!!
희승 - heeseung;
for some reason i see him as being that low-key annoying hipster friend
that you lovingly put up with <3
has a song for you to listen for literally every occasion
he’s also the friend that makes you wonder how he even survives
bc you swear he just never sleeps??
you could text him at any time
and he always answers within a few minutes
so either he has some kind of sixth sense for when you wanna talk to him
or he has no life and is always awake waiting for you to message him
and ofc you like to tease him about it
“wow heeseung i didn’t know you were so obsessed with me”
“well i can’t let you have another breakdown at 3am by yourself now can i”
touché
you guys also go on lots of platonic ‘dates’
so many midnight coffee runs
and you’ll just sit on a bench in some park and talk until the sun is coming up
the best friend that’s always there for you
제이 - jay;
the grandpa friend <3
always complains about being out too late
scolds you if you do anything dangerous
impromptu lectures on life even tho he’s like the same age as you
but you know he only does it bc he cares <3
if you’re nervous about doing smth he’ll immediately offer to do it with you or for you
but also encourages you to go out on your own and do things for yourself :))
likes to use you as his “guinea pig” when testing out a new recipe for something
which you honestly don’t mind bc his cooking is just chef’s kiss tbh
definitely the friend who just buys stuff for you
“here.”
“what’s this?”
“that necklace i saw you looking at in the store for like 5 minutes”
he’s low-key kinda tsundere about it sometimes tho
“hey y/n what do you want?”
“oh no i’m good i didn’t bring any money.”
“did i ask if you brought money?”
“but-“
“What Do You Want?”
so yeah
even if he’s a lil rough around the edges
at the end of the day you both know that you’d do anything for each other
the best friend you can always count on
제이크 - jake;
being besties with jake means you question why you’re friends with such a dumbass
legit has the humor of a 12 year old boy like the amount of stupid memes he sends you…
rip my dude
but he’s also the sweetest guy you know so!!
i guess that evens it out
comes over so often he practically lives at ur house
like he just worms his way into your family so subtly
suddenly it’s not a complete family reunion if jake isn’t there
but you also like to hangout at coffee shops/cafes!!
especially the aesthetic looking ones
ur number 1 hypeman
takes the best pics of you for ur social media
“yes y/n! work it bro!”
lots of sleepovers where you’ll stay up watching movies or playing video games until the sun is coming up
you guys probably volunteer at a pet shelter too
and you have to talk jake out of adopting every single dog there almost daily
even if you don’t physically see each other every day
you still text and call each other every day
bc the two of really are like family to each other
the best friend that makes you feel loved no matter what
성훈 - sunghoon;
to this day people still wonder how you and sunghoon are friends
bc like. you’re just so opposite??
plus when you first met you both hated each other
and for literally no reason too
but one day you guys found out there was some dickhead bully at school that you both hated more than you hated each other
like they’re just talking shit about you until suddenly sunghoon walks up and starts defending you?? like what universe did you land in
but anyways ever since then you two got closer and now you’re bffs
people mistake you for a couple all the time mostly bc you’re the only person sunghoon will allow to hold his hand
he isn’t the most affectionate person but if you are he’ll begrudgingly allow you to cuddle up to him when you watch a movie
is so so so observant
which means he always gets you the best gifts
lots of hanging out at the mall bc you both enjoy people watching
so you’ll usually get some coffee and then just sit on a bench and rate people’s outfits
when you guys first started hanging out sunghoon was pretty shy
but the more you got to know each other the more he came out of his shell
and now he tends to match ur energy <3
the best friend that always understands you
선우 - sunoo;
the best bff you ask for
literally the first person you tell anything to
if you’re there you can bet sunoo isn’t far off
the two of you haven’t gone a day without speaking since you became friends
and you both love making fun of each other
all in the name of love, ofc <3
lots of good natured bickering and fake arguing
you guys go on lots of walks and like to have little picnics
and weekly movie/drama nights are definitely a thing
where sunoo will catch you up on the latest rumors and gossip around school during the boring parts of whatever you’re watching
you two also call each other pet names a lot
whether it be normal ones like babe or weird, over the top ones like snuggle bunny-poo
he also likes to randomly surprise you with flowers every once in a while
just because <3
you guys know everything about each other and know that you can always trust the other with your secrets
the best friend that you sometimes wish was more
정원 - jungwon;
is basically ur adopted sibling whether you like it or not
he can either be your favorite person or the person u loathe the most
he lives next door so you both are at each other’s house constantly
and your mom may or may not low-key like him more 3
which he loves to rub in ur face /3
but it’s okay bc maeumi likes you more <3
which you love to rub in his face <33
you both like to go on ‘adventures’ whether it’s going to mcdonald’s at 3 am
or exploring the woods by your house in the middle of the day with a backpack that only has a couple juice boxes and some fruit snacks in it
you also build pillow forts in rooms all the time!!
bc it makes the sleepover experience 10x better, can confirm
he’s always the first person you send the weird videos you find late at night to, and vice versa
and you both love to give each other random little gifts from time to time even if they seem really weird to other people
sooooo many inside jokes
the best friend that you know you’ll always have
니키 - niki;
literally the most annoying person u know
u call him brat affectionately <3
and he calls you his grandparent not affectionately 3 (jk jk)
bc even if you’re the same age or younger than him
i can assure you he is going to tease you about your age/the way you act
also you both will occasionally ghost each other for a few weeks
like sometimes to the point where ppl wonder if you’re still even friends
but when they ask ur like “wdym we’re literally bffs??”
and then continue to talk like nothing ever happened
you guys make fun of each other all. the. time.
lovingly of course, but still
like you guys will be at a thrift shop or smth
and riki will find the most horrendous looking stuffed animal there and buy it
and when you ask him why he got such an ugly thing he’ll just be like
“bc it reminded me of you! ^-^”
jokes on him tho bc a few weeks go by and suddenly he can’t sleep without it so
also lots of park hangouts in the evenings!!
especially in the summer like you guys will get some ice cream or popsicles and just hang out at a playground
pushing each other on the swings or seeing how long you both can hang on the monkey bars
the best friend that makes you feel like you never have to grow up
taglist: @mochisnlix @yizhoutv @heatrache @vantxx95 @enhacolor @sunoo-bby @ilandsghost @hiqhkey
#k-shop net#enhypen imagines#enhypen x gender neutral reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen reactions#enhypen scenarios#enhypen headcanons#enhypen fluff#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen x you
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WWH Drabbles: ALSO FOR CHAPTER 4!!!!!! We cannot forget about the movie night PLEASE, THIS ONE IS A FAV!!! What was he thinking??
What Was Hidden
POV Drabble #6: Not Afraid to Lie
WC: 3k
Warnings: language, angst, Taehyung is an idiot but wbk
The request: By @pamzn and this anon!
A/N: These scenes are from Chapter 4! :) Throwback to when I posted this without context because this is how my brainstorming went (:
Anyway, please enjoy!
Taehyung was hoping he’d see you over the weekend, but considering you’d been sick he hadn’t really had his hopes up. When his longtime friend Leslie texts him to hang out, he doesn’t think twice about it.
He and Leslie were friends going back to elementary school; their dads were business partners, and they’d spent many weekend evenings in the tv room at Taehyung’s house, staying out of the way while the adults talked. They’d been close through middle school - Leslie helping Taehyung with homework almost daily, and Taehyung elbowing his friends to shut them up when they talked about Leslie in the way the middle school boys tend to do.
The protective roles did two things for them. Firstly, it cemented their friendship. Secondly, it cemented them as only friends, deep in “basically siblings” territory. By high school, they were wing-manning for each other, swapping gossip and homework but nothing else. When they realized they both had been accepted to the same university, they’d laughed; it was exactly the kind of serendipitous thing that had followed their friendship for over a decade already.
Taehyung enjoyed Leslie and her friendship - she was strong, and bold, and didn’t take shit from anyone. Taehyung had always felt that, between the two of them, she was the stronger one, emotionally.
He’d just never seen her that way. And if she had… she’d never let him know.
And things had been off with them for a while. They’d spent the first few years at college spending tons of time together - attending the same parties, eating meals together in the caf, studying at the library. But slowly those hang-outs had fizzled, and then their texts grew less frequent. Taehyung had no idea why, but Leslie wasn’t big on talking about feelings, so he’d not pushed it. When she texted him to hang out, he’d jumped at the chance, hoping it was a move back towards how things used to be.
So when Seokjin pokes his head into the living room to tell them he invited “Bridget and Company” over to watch a movie that night, Taehyung doesn’t think anything of it.
They order dinner instead of cooking that night. Taehyung and Leslie eat up in his room; he sits at his desk, her on his floor. They talk shit, music playing, until the food is gone. Then they venture downstairs for drinks.
“Taehyung,” Jin says, “will you take the garbages out before the girls come over? They don’t need to know how gross we are.”
Taehyung eyes the garbage can and the recycling can next to it; both nearly overflow.
“I’ll take the recycling,” Leslie offers, “so you only have to carry one bag.”
Now Taehyung can’t say no without looking like an ass, so he bags up the garbage and the recycling both, handing Leslie the lighter bag. They go out the back door and down the wooden steps, around the side of the house.
“Thanks,” Taehyung tells her, after hoisting the heavy garbage bag into the receptacle.
“Don’t mention it,” Leslie says easily. “So, is your new girlfriend coming over tonight?”
“If you say something stupid like that and scare her away, I will end you,” Taehyung tells her seriously. Leslie laughs from her belly, low and full.
“She’s not my girlfriend anyway,” Taehyung grumps, leading them back up the steps. “We’re barely even talking.”
“Are you gonna, like, abandon me to go cuddle?” Leslie teases.
“Are you going to be a menace all night?” Taehyung retorts.
He can practically feel her grin through the darkness, pleased at having pushed his buttons.
Taehyung steps back into the kitchen to find Jin helping the girls get drinks. You spot him and smile, raising a hand in greeting.
“Hey!” Taehyung says. Your smile flickers like a lightbulb that might go out, and then steadies.
Weird.
Taehyung leads Leslie back in to the living room, where Jungkook and Jimin are arguing over what movie to play. Taehyung plops in his normal spot on the couch, the one he always occupies when it’s just the guys at home. Leslie perches next to him, naturally, since she’s his friend.
Yoongi leads Kiko out of the kitchen and they sit near each other on the bigger sofa. Beside him, Leslie turns her phone to show Taehyung a stupid meme. He rolls his eyes, laughing. She leans against him, tucking her feet up on the couch to keep them warm. This is all so routine, so normal, that Taehyung barely notices as he shifts his arm over her shoulders to be more comfortable.
“That guy from my chem class just dm’ed me,” she murmurs, looking at her phone. “What do I say?”
Taehyung peers at her screen with her, watching as she tries to navigate the conversation, and almost misses when you and Bridget enter the room, taking the other two spots on the big couch.
When he does notice, he tries to catch your eye - ready to wave, ask how your day was, ask if you’re feeling better. You don’t look his way, instead turning to talk so quietly to Bridget that Taehyung can’t catch a word.
As the movie plays, Taehyung continues to try. You keep your eyes on the screen, your chin lifted just a touch too high, defensive. That’s the detail that strikes Taehyung, the thing that tips him off that you aren’t just super into the plot. He looks down at Leslie, who quirks an eyebrow at him.
She taps her phone and opens a note, typing, ‘she mad at you???’
Taehyung shrugs imperceptibly. Carefully, as to not be detected, he reaches for the phone and slides it onto his own leg.
‘No idea why…’ he types.
Leslie makes a very Leslie face, one that says, I have a theory.
Taehyung responds to this silent with his own raised eyebrow. She shakes her head but reaches for the phone again, erasing his sentence and typing, ‘you should talk to her later’.
At one point, you turn and your gaze snags on Taehyung’s for just a second. His heart jumps - is now his chance? But you turn away before he can so much as smile, determinedly training your eyes on the tv screen again.
What the fuck, Taehyung thinks, growing frustrated. He runs through the last day in his head; he’s sure he hadn’t said anything stupid.
When you get up, sometime after Yoongi and Kiko disappear down to the basement, Taehyung almost knocks Leslie off the couch in his rush to follow. He needs answers. He’s fine with a silent treatment if he deserves it, but he has no idea what he’d done to piss you off.
When he enters the kitchen behind you, you turn to see who it is. When you spot him, you make a wry half-smile. “Hey,” you say, turning away again. “Am I in your way?”
“No…” Taehyung says slowly. He’s not sure what game you’re playing - you literally ignored him all night, and now you’re acting super casual? “Y/N… are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”
His voice comes out wrong. It’s too plaintive, too vulnerable. He shifts, tries to get it together.
When you turn to look at him, you look genuinely surprised by his question. “What? Of course not.”
Of course not? Then what the fuck is going on?
“You haven’t talked to me all night,” he points out. “You won’t even look at me.”
“I’m trying not to mess things up for you!” you retort, expression sliding a little closer to angry. “How do you think it would look to your girl if I did all that? I’ve dropped guys for less.”
It, honest-to-god, takes Taehyung almost a full minute to figure out what girl you’re talking about. He starts mentally flipping through the girls in his classes, wondering if you’d seen him talking about schoolwork with one of them and got the wrong idea. Then, it hits him. Leslie? Absolutely the hell not.
“She’s not my girl,” he protests. “We aren’t - ugh!” He breaks off, hearing how defensive he sounds. He needs to calm down. Did you really think he’d be that shitty? Is that what you think he’s like? He takes a quick breath, tries to give an explanation. “That’s… not what this is. It’s really not.”
He’s no good with words. He doesn’t know how to express the nature of this friendship, that there’s no threatening element here.
You, infuriatingly, just shrug. “It’s not my business, Taehyung.”
Just like you’d texted him after the night he got too drunk at the bar with you. And Taehyung might not be good with putting his thoughts and feelings into words, but he’s good at understanding - and he’s understanding you perfectly. “It’s not my business” means “it can’t hurt me”, and he’s not going to stand here and let you get away with that. Not when he knows it’s bullshit.
“That’s your favorite line, huh?” he retorts, crossing his arms.
“It is when it’s true,” you say calmly - and that pisses him off even more, that you’re calm and unbothered while he’s simmering with fury. He wants to tell you to drop the act, cut the crap, and be honest.
If you won’t, he will. He makes sure he has eye contact before he says - matching your calm, even tone - “I’m not sleeping with Leslie, Y/N.”
You blink at him in silence, and for a second he feels victorious, like he got through to you, battled past that thick outer wall and made it inside. Then he watches that cold look of yours, the one you sported the whole night he’d met you, as it takes over your face.
“Good for you,” you say flatly. “I don’t know why you feel the need to tell me that.”
Fuck, he’s so mad!
“Based on how you’ve acted all night, apparently I do need to tell you that!” he shouts, and you both turn to check the doorway, to see if his outburst carried. No one from the living room stirs, and you turn back to him, that same cold expression in place.
“You don’t,” you say, shaking your head to emphasize. “There’s nothing going on with you two? Great. There’s nothing going on with us, either. I don’t care what you do.”
Taehyung feels himself take a step backwards and wills himself into stillness.
This is the fucked up part - he knows it’s a lie. He knows you felt everything he did - at the diner, when he’d video-called you, at tutoring, at the bar. It was starting, he hadn’t imagined it.
So now I know you’re not afraid to lie, he thinks.
He refuses to play this game with you. There’s nothing going on? Fine. There’s nothing going on.
“Cool,” he says, as tonelessly as he can manage. “Glad we sorted that out.”
He doesn’t give you time to process or react, just turns and retreats back. Most of the occupants of the living room ignore him, but Leslie is looking, and Leslie is sharp.
“Were you yelling?” she whispers, as he settles back onto the couch next to her, temper still riled up and heart pounding.
He cuts his eyes at her, illogically mad that her presence is what made things fall apart.
“She thinks we’re… a thing. Wouldn’t listen when I said it isn’t true,” he mutters, eyes on his legs.
Leslie gives him a long, searching look that he can’t, or doesn’t want to, decipher.
“I think I’d like to go home,” she murmurs, her voice incredibly quiet and gentle - very, very unlike her. For this reason, and this reason alone, Taehyung nods slowly instead of pushing the issue.
“I’m driving Leslie home,” he says to whoever cares enough to listen, reaching for a jacket as he nears the front door. Leslie follows him out to the car, waiting patiently by the passenger side door as he presses the button to unlock it.
They sit in silence for a second as the engine starts, the radio connects to Taehyung’s phone, and the heater whirs to life.
“Did I piss you off, too?” Taehyung finally asks, feeling defeated.
The look she gives him is somehow pitying. Because she understands what he doesn’t.
“Taehyung,” she says, still gentle, and it’s so glaringly unlike how she’s ever talked to him before that it gives him a rush of adrenaline, like his bodily systems are telling him Danger! Danger! Danger!
“Leslie,” he mimics, because he’s scared and it’s his go-to defense mechanism.
“Imagine how it looks from the outside,” she says, after a long silence. “This thing with you guys has been slowly gaining momentum, and then - to her - you show up with another girl. Did you say anything to her ahead of time, that you were with a friend, or that you were looking forward to seeing her? Anything?”
“....No,” Taehyung admits, gut twisting. It hadn’t occurred to him that he should do that.
“My dummy,” Leslie says affectionately, reaching over to pat his shoulder.
“I’m allowed to have friends,” Taehyung defends himself hotly.
“You are,” Leslie agrees. “But how well does she know you, really? What does she know about you, about your character?”
Taehyung sulks and shifts the car into reverse, finally backing out of the driveway, instead of answering. In his opinion, you should know him better than to think he’d be playing you.
“It’s scary to open up to someone,” Leslie says a few minutes later, prompted by nothing more than her own mind still working over the situation. “It takes a lot to trust someone not to fuck with you.”
Sure, Taehyung thinks. That’s true enough. But, there’s nothing going on with us? I don’t care what you do? Fuck.
“It doesn’t matter,” Taehuyng mutters, flicking on the turn-signal to pull into campus. “She said she’s done.”
Leslie reaches down to the floor of the car and picks up her purse as Taehyung pulls over in front of her dorm. “Talk to her,” she says, as she unbuckles and opens the car door. She pauses, considers her next words. As she climbs out and turns around to shut the door, she repeats, “Talk to her. She’s not done.”
“What do you mean?” Taehyung blurts, leaning forward over the steering wheel to peer at her. “What does that mean?!”
She gives him a tiny smile, shaking her head, and shuts the door. Taehyung keeps his eyes on her, hoping she’ll turn around and give him some answers, but she never looks back.
–
When Taehyung lets himself back into the house, there are no girls in sight, only his house-mates - minus Yoongi. They all turn to look at him as he comes through the door, and one by one they join a slow-clap.
“Oh, fuck you guys,” Taehyung grouses, slapping his keys into the little basket by the door.
“Breaking the hearts of not one but two beautiful women tonight!” Jimin sings, as if overcome with pride for his friend, one hand clutching his chest dramatically.
“The fuck are you talking about?” Taehyung snaps, eyes narrowing.
“Which part is confusing?” Jungkook asks, lips twitching.
“Well, obviously inviting over Y/N -.”
“I didn’t invite her, Jin did!” Taehyung interrupts Jimin hotly.
“-inviting over Y/N when you already had Leslie over was a super douchey move.”
Taehyung groans, over it. “I know,” he whines. “I didn’t think about it like that. It’s just Leslie.”
“And there you have the breaking of Heart Number Two,” Jimin quips.
Taehyung looks at him blankly. Jimin’s mouth goes slack.
“You don’t know? Oh, my God, look at his face, he doesn’t know.”
Yoongi chooses this moment to breeze through the basement door, heading for the kitchen. “Leslie’s in love with you, you absolute moron.”
“No she’s not,” Taehyung scoffs instinctively, then looks at all the faces in the room, all looking at him like oh, isn’t he cute.
“You had to know,” Jungkook says skeptically. “How could you not know?”
Taehyung doesn’t answer; he’s shocked into silence, into stillness, into fight or flight. He needs time to process this, to deal with it. He needs to enact a game plan to determine if it’s true, he needs to reexamine every interaction they’d had over the last ten years and figure out if he’s been an asshole or just stupid.
“So which heart are we mending?” Jimin asks, a little kinder now as he watches the clash of emotions on his friend’s face.
Taehyung’s already mentally gone from the conversation, already mentally up in his room pacing and thinking, already texting Leslie tell me the truth, have I fucked up our friendship at any point, have you been letting me just think it’s okay?
But still, some part of his brain is listening. Some part of his brain knows the answer - the only answer.
“Y/N,” he says simply, and turns for the stairs.
did I....... did I create a secret Plot C for wwh..... oh no....
You can find my full Masterlist here!
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hey it's pop again, I already technically posted this in a comment section on a YouTube video but I just need to tell you too.
when I was little, I used to get yelled at a lot. I never did go to school, so I never did have that time away from home other kids got, I never was social. I was holed up In our house, for most of my life. still am, the only sense if actual no strings attached freedom I get is from the internet.
I am able to be who I want on here without the anger, and yelling. or the "why are you just sitting there? you could be doing anything!" or "you stupid kid, you know you can do better" or "DO BETTER" or "GET UP AND OUT DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE!" or just anything.
I just don't like the feelings, I feel so guilty about nothing! I wanna vomit and cry and scream for no reason!
I feel like anything I do is judged and if I make a slight mistake I'm ridiculed. they all still get angry about my past mistakes.
it wasn't even anything bad! everything I've done has ended up okay, no one has groomed me, no one has verbally abused me on here, they actually like what I have to say. they give me space and time to talk.
my stutter came back, I didn't realise at first. but now it's just in my head, I stutter and go over my words again and again. and I don't know why.
I've been doing the best I possibly can, I clean, I cook, I do my chores and fold the clothes, I take care of my siblings, I take care of the dog I don't want to take care of. (I love her, but we literally agreed that I wouldn't have to do any dog chores since it gives me hives and asthma and I just can't deal with it.)
I try so FUNKING HARD, and I barely get any credit for it. if I truly moved out, they would be so lost without me.
I want to move out, and see the world and just BE something. I want to DO something that's not just staying confined in my room or only going out when they go out.
I want that smidgeon of freedom, I just can't grasp. so here I am, again. on the internet the only "safe" place I know these days. I can't read a book and distract myself from my parents arguments, I don't have the space to play music without headphones, I can't watch tv or the sort because the TV is in the places where they argue.
so all I have is this, this little text. to quench my thirst of being "abused" or "mistreated" I don't even know anymore.
I love them, dearly. but I just can't spend the rest of my life stuck to them like glue, I know my siblings will be confused and sad. but I just NEED to free myself, I need to be in charge of where and when I can go.
I want to do walks, I want to aimlessly walk malls, I want to work a job or just maybe die.
it's just overwhelming, I want that freedom. and I want to go to my own home, meet people. fall in love, make something of myself.
make mistakes I'm proud of, and funk up bad. go to THERAPY, god I just want that.
but I'm just stuck in a cycle I can't escape, maybe one day I will. and I'll cry many tears and walk my small stupid apartment, and put up posters and play online games. and talk with people I don't know, and just exist in the way I want to.
find people like me, and go to arcades and spend my pocket money on it. I wander the world, learn a language! I want to do so much and yet I'm trapped.
but one day I'll leave, one day I'll be on my own and it will be so nice.
-pop
Wanna add that never do i have the privilege to express my anger as its always fought back with more anger, like goddamnit how can you be mad and i listen when you can't accept a tinge??
Anyway, as you're independent, you'll do good living alone and working alone one day,, do all the things you want and meet anyone you want. Just remember going as a lone wolf will also have it's troubles so atleast find/have someone to trust along the way.
An absolute survivor, go slay sir/maam.
- j
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Breaking Time: Part 1
After more moral deliberation than what is probalby justified, I've decided to snark this book after all. You see, I’ve sort of realized that what I have to say would make for a ridiculously long book review, so I might as well do this. But because the horse I'll be kicking is half-dead already, I figured I'd go easier on it, and this snark will be shorter and speedier than my usual ones, going at about five chapters per post, or 5 ch/p. This means I'll be mostly recapping the events and cutting back on my line-by-line nitpicking, only adding quotes when they're extra bad or when they're funny bad. If recap-heavy isn't your vibe, feel free to skip this snark.
So, a few important disclaimers before we get into this:
I don't follow Sasha on anywhere, never have, and never will. All I know about her personally is that she's got red hair and she's weaponized her awful taste in literatture to create a career for herself. She also seemingly can't write for shit, but got a publishing deal and became a New York Times bestseller off of her own fanbase. Gatekeep girlboss etc. I'm saying this to explain why I might not pick up on references to her own life or similarities between her and the main character, of which there are apparently many. Feel free to inform me of these if you like, but it's likely that I'll miss them in the text itself. However, that also means I'm not biased for or against Klara, so I'll be looking at her as her own character, as it should be tbh. Self-inserts are fine in fanfic but shouldn't be a thing in published lit.
I have an at best passing and at worst insufficient knowledge of the mythology and folklore that will be referenced in the book. Yes, I'm sorry, but I probably won't be able to know where Sasha fucks up, which means I'll fuck up by proxy. I know some very basic things, mostly stuff that overlaps with Nordic folklore, plus stuff I've picked up from other media, but I haven't done any in-depth research myself. So if you see something outrageously wrong and I don't pick up on it, feel free to inform me, just don't be a dick about it.
I have not read Outlander and I never will! However, I do have a good friend who has read it, so I might ask them about this stuff. This means I sadly won't be able to see just how close the similarities are (though I know Klara and Claire are basically the same name, shame on you Sasha), but I'm not about to read Outlander just for this snark, sorry huns. Some things even I won't read.
With all this in mind, what exactly will I be critquing if I can't talk about the most juicy stuff, you might ask? Well, everything else! The romance, the worldbuilding, the plot, the writing, the characters. I'd say there's plenty of stuff to look at aside from the most blatantly bad shit, and one could argue that this gives me sort of an unbiased and somewhat objective look at the work.
Okay, it's not fully unbiased of course. I'm doing a snark before I've even finished the book, meaning I fully assume it'll stay bad enough to talk about throughout. That's the definition of biased. But! I genuinely have no particular ill will toward Sasha or her work, and I want to see what she's cooked up for us, what she's been working on for so long. I thought Lindsay Cummings' standalone work wasn't phenomenal, but at least it was, I dunno, intriguing? I need to know for scientific reasons whether Sasha on her own can carry a novel, whether her solo projects will be any better than Zenith.
Now, you might wonder why I'm giving Breaking Time this treatment while The Murder Complex only got a review? For one, I didn't think TMC would be fun to snark, since it was just ... nothing. It woud just be me moaning about the stupid worldbuilding and edgy writing over and over. It was basically Zenith but on Earth, complete with another white-haired murderous waif.
But, if we have to be honest ... Who's the main person to blame for Zenith? Cummings didn't have any sort of audience before Zenith, and I don't know if she has one after. The only reason Zenith exists, and lbr, this book exists, is because Sasha already has a dedicated audience. (Though not dedicated enough anymore, judging by the GR ratings, oof.) So, in my opinion, if a YouTuber gets to coast off of their existing influence to sell their books while actually good authors have to scrape together what they can, then they deserve higher scrutiny from the public.
Because of her fanbase, she got to publish this book that genuinely reads like a first draft, something that wouldn’t have been published if the publisher didn’t know it would sell regardless of quality. I think that fucking uuuh sucks ass? So I’m here to tell you why that’s a bad practice and that publishing sucks and you shouldn’t buy Youtuber books.
Ahem. Well, that was long. Now let's get into it!
Chapter 1: Callum
The book opens in 1568, and we're in the POV of a man named Callum, who's staggering out of a pub in search of his friend Thomas.
We find out that Callum and Thomas are both pit fighters, and Thomas has recently been getting his entire ass handed to him, which is worrying. They both work for a man slash abusive father figure named Brice. They’re both orphans and Thomas is Callum’s older brother figure, so he’s very attached to Thomas as a role model, though Callum is especially bummed out about not having a mom.
Callum keeps wandering around looking for Thomas with no response, and he's extra worried because a while earlier, Thomas had given him his most prized and secret possession: a notebook. This would indeed be quite worrisome, Callum, I'm with you there.
Callum recalls that Thomas has been acting strange these last few months, disappearing at regular intervals and coming back weird and mean, talking about mystical creatures as if he'd met them. Thomas would also talk about mysterious men who leap between worlds, oooh.
They’re coming, Cal, you’ll see. It’s as simple as stepping through a veil.
Who’s coming, Thomas? What veil? Callum asked, and Thomas would laugh.
What an asshole, lol. Ok but why wouldn't he explain to Callum who he's talking about? He's clearly willing to talk about his other experiences. So what in-universe reason does Thomas have for just laughing Callum off instead of telling him what's going on? I know we need to keep it mysterious for the reader but this just makes no sense.
Giving me Soyina laughing at Andi for asking how she brings people back to life with "science."
Callum hears a sound and finds Thomas, super-stabbed and bleeding out fast. Callum feels bad about stealing his dirk earlier, he'd done it because he was worried Thomas would hurt himself with it, but now he thinks he might have been able to defend himself if Callum hadn't taken it. We also get this:
He wished suddenly, ferociously, that he’d had a proper mother, one whose wisdom he could call upon to calmly guide his hands. However, Thomas was the only family he had.
Literally what. I get that we have to establish that Callum doesn't have a mother and Thomas is basically his older brother, but we have already established that. This just feels really jarring to me. Like his best friend and brother is bleeding out and Callum is bitter about how he doesn't have a mom? Anyway.
Someone attacks Callum, a mysterious man with white hair and amber eyes. He's holding the dagger that he presumably used to stab Thomas, so Callum loses his marbles and attacks him right back. It doesn't do much of anything, and it seems the stranger has some sort of supernatural powers, ooh.
“I’m going to have fun with you,” the stranger whispered. “I like a man with a bit of fight in him. It’s more fun to play with your prey, don’t you think?”
Gee, I wonder if he's the bad guy. (But also I'm internally cringing because this is basically how I wrote the bad guy in my book at first before betas pointed out he was too hammy. None of us are above bad writing, kids. Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.)
“I dinnae believe I’m going to Heaven,” Callum said, raising his fists once more, drawing strength from the familiar ache that radiated through his arms. “But I cannae wait to bring you to Hell with me.”
You couldn't add a little "hasta la vista" in there? Or mayhaps a "yippee ki-yay, motherfucker"? No? Too much? Cuz I swear it would've fit right in.
Man, even when he's getting his ass beat by a bad man, our hero simply must have his little epic badass moment and the shitty one-liner, huh?
Plus, it's so clunky and awkwardly written. If it's supposed to be badass, why does it sound like he rehearsed it in the shower for ages and still got it wrong? If I were the villain here I'd defo giggle.
Anyway, his big dick bonanza doesn't last very long and the bad man cuts him up like a shish kebab. Callum collapses next to Thomas all dramatic, and then the bad man collects some of Thomas's blood.
“If you’ll excuse me, there’s one last Pillar I must find.”
Pillar?
The unearthly amber eyes melted into darkness as his opponent backed away and turned, disappearing into the shadows once more. Softly hissed words echoed in the alley. Àiteachan dìomhair, fosgailte dhomh, Àiteachan dìomhair, fosgailte dhomh…
A bunch of spooky magic mist surrounds the bad man and Callum is bleeding out. Then he hears Thomas’ voice saying “Get up, scunner” and this is enough to push Callum to a final attack, and he manages to grab onto the bad man (noticing that he has knots tattooed around his collarbone, those will be important later I guess) and time seems to stop just as his blade connects with the bad dude's neck.
A bright glow burned against his lids. He closed his eyes tighter and welcomed whatever might follow, only hoping he’d find Thomas there. A wall of light had formed above, descending as if the sun were pulling him through the sky. His body rose into its searing embrace.
He waited for the long drop to the ground, but it never came.
Callum kept soaring.
Not just through the street.
Not to death’s embrace.
But somewhere else.
Leaping to another world, like the man in Thomas’s story, Callum thought.
So he leaped.
The previous descriptions all sound distinctly like Callum has no control over his movement, but sure, end the chapter on that note just for the drama of it.
Honestly, for a first chapter, it's not bad! The writing is a bit iffy in spots, but it sets up one of the main characters, his background, his relationships and connections, his motivations, and it introduces an antagonist and some intriguing lore as well! It’s a little too fast for my taste, but overall, not bad!
Chapter 2: Klara
We’re in “Present Day” now, with our second protagonist. Her chapter starts like this:
Klara usually thought of rain as Scotland’s natural lullaby, but right now it felt more like the bars of a prison cell.
Hell if I know.
We find out that Klara is in covering for her aunt Sorcha (of course) as receptionist of Kingshill Manor, an old Scottish inn that Klara’s family owns that’s filled with old Scottish stuff that I’m sure Sasha researched for a whole five minutes. We also find out that Klara’s mother died fairly recently of cancer, and that Klara moved back to Scotland so she could apply to college there instead of in the States.
Her father used to be a CFO of a “boutique hotel chain” in the US, and boy am I suddenly reminded of why I rarely read contemporary romance. It’s just very hard for me to relate or care about an affluent pretty white girl going on adventures. Red hair isn’t a personality trait, no matter how many booktubers want to convince you it is <3
Anyway, turns out that Klara doesn’t actually want to study astronomy in Edinburgh because it was her dead mother’s dream rather than hers, and she’s now received a confirmation letter in the mail saying that her withdrawal has been accepted.
Klara wanted more than to study the stars—she longed to discover new ones. New worlds.
Yeah I’m pretty sure you still need to study astronomy in order to do that. Unless she means she wants to get into crystal healing or crypto.
Her dad returns home and Klara explains (in narration) that she’s not yet ready to tell him about her college decision, because he’s a big softie and is still deeply affected by his wife’s death. He convinces Klara to go do something because she hasn’t been outside in 3 days. She decides to schedule a visit to her grandmother over the weekend. And then ... grabs the car keys to go ... somewhere? We don’t really get any destination or anything. It’s clearly just a super clumsy way of getting her out of the house and into the car. Why couldn’t she just go to her grandma’s now? Idk man.
Before you read this next quote, I want you to know that Klara previously mentioned a doorknob in the shape of a horse’s head. It comes back now like this:
“Okay,” [Klara’s dad] said. “Be safe.”
She turned back again, smiling, leaving one hand on the doorknob. The horse’s cool brass nose pressed into her palm. She met his eyes. Dark green, like hers. It was the only feature she’d inherited from him.
The ... horse? The only feature she inherited from the horse head doorknob?
Look, I know what this is supposed to refer to, but man is it awkwardly written. This is something even a cursory edit would’ve picked up. Did nobody read this before it got published?
Idk.
Her dad invites her to go to the pub later to see a band, and we get the obligatory not-like-other-girls rant.
At eighteen, she could legally drink in Scotland. It should have been every normal American teenager’s dream, but Klara had never felt normal—not even before they uprooted their lives to a country across the ocean. Going to a pub to socialize with strangers was the last thing on her mind. Cute mailman aside, she preferred the leading men of romance novels, who were hot and charming and broody and didn’t try to pull her into any awkward conversations.
This will sound cruel but um. I hope this isn’t Sasha’s actual thought process, because this is straight up baby logic. I love cringey romance novel heroes as much as the next lonely fuck, but to aspire to date someone who’s similar to them IRL? Bruv.
Is Sasha single? I hope she is, because if not, her SO now knows what she actually wants in a partner given that she wrote her ideal man into a self-insert romance novel.
Anyway, she goes out for a drive and then sees a Mysterious Man on the road. She swerves to avoid him but finds his crumpled body on the ground anyway.
Chapter 3: Klara
Klara’s panicking and inspects the stranger. He’s barely conscious and covered in blood. Kingshill Manor is closer than any other town and hospital, and she forgot her phone at home, so she gets the guy into her car and drives back to call an ambulance.
He keeps mumbling something about Thomas, so she assumes that’s his name. Once back in the manor, he falls over and she lands with her head on his muscled chest, because of course. She inspects his hot bod and finds that he’s got no actual wounds, and worries that he maybe murdered someone.
Though he was slim, there was muscle on him. She took in his dark, curly hair and sun-bronzed face. Even in his rain-soaked, filthy state, she couldn’t help but notice how attractive he was. He kind of resembled the guy on the cover of A Loch Ness Lass in Love.
Yeah, Sasha’s Pinterest board for this book has pictures of a wet Henry Cavill and several equally wet lookalikes, none of whom I would call slim. Unless she means “slim” as in “not fat” and not “skinny.”
Klara finds a dirk on him, the one we know he took from Thomas.
The blade was covered in dirt, but Klara could tell it was well taken care of, regularly sharpened and polished, free of rust. The studded handle was wound in leather, which was soft and worn. Cold crept up her spine. Like the dirk was used often.
Cold crept up her spine like the dirk was used often? Again, I get what this is supposed to say, but it’s so weird and awkward and reading it felt like getting smacked in the face. Just removing “like” would’ve saved it, IMO, which once again begs the question: who edited this?
Chapter 4: Callum
The chapter opens on a flashback of Thomas and Callum hiking up a mountain, which Callum hates but is doing for his bestie brother figure. Then it abruptly ends with Thomas telling Callum that he’s lost and it’s time to wake up. Very ominouse.
Callum wakes up in the now-times and is confused by everything. He thinks Klara is a bean-nighe and the paramedic inspecting him is holding some sort of weird metallic torch. Looking around, Callum seems to think he’s in some lavish mansion or something. Which I think he is, but even more lavish for him because he’s a 16th century peasant.
The doctor asks if Callum has been drinking, which Callum confirms and mentions The Black Heart, the same pub he had stumbled out of at the start of the novel that still exists in the present day. This, apparently, is enough to make the doctor believe he’s dealing with a drunk and recommend he takes aspirin and water and drinks a bit less.
So um ... Wasn’t Callum covered in blood? Like, not only that, but he’s likely concussed and seems confused by his surroundings? Wouldn’t a paramedic find all of this sort of alarming, even if the patient doesn’t have any visible wounds? This all seems very convenient to me.
Anyway, throughout all this, Callum is very aware of Klara becuase she’s just so pretty, and also because he thinks she might be a banshee.
“He’s lucky to not be dead.” The sound of her voice was strange, an accent unlike anything Callum had ever heard. Not Scottish—nor English, nor French—but spirited. Perhaps she was Scottish, after all.
There’s something deeply embarrassing and uncomfortably personal about this, like reading smut by a bad writer where you can tell this is specifically for them only and you’re just “lucky” to be along for the ride. The idea of an American author, obsessed with Scotland, thinking that a 16th century Scottish stud would find her modern American accent “spirited” enough to maybe be Scottish?
It’s embarrassing. You should be embarrassed.
Also, this has introduced my first major issue with this premise, but we’ll get there.
Callum thinks Klara was the one who had healed his fatal wound and begins sheepishly cleaning up the mess he caused. Two American tourists walk in and assume he’s the receptionist? I have to reiterate that my guy is covered in blood, but the tourists seem to think he’s in costume.
Callum knew the lairds of the lands lived different lives, but he could hardly understand this man.
But Klara’s accent is spirited, is it? (We find out later that the tourists are Texan, while Klara lived in New York. Weird vibe, if you ask me. Doesn’t seem to make any linguistic sense why Callum would find one appealing and the other incomprehensible, but what do I know.)
There’s some more comedic shenanigans that you can probably imagine a better version of, but Klara returns and Callum has the obligatory think on how hot and beautiful and ginger she is.
Her beauty reminded Callum of the stories sailors told as they passed through Rosemere on the way to the coast—of the beautiful mermaids that ensnared men’s hearts and dragged them to the depths of the sea. He had never understood why, if the men knew what fate lay before them, they didn’t turn away from the sea-devils before it was too late.
Now, looking at the lady before him, Callum understood.
Insta-love? In MY shitty shovelware equivalent of YA? Perish the thought.
Klara orders Callum to go wait in a different room -- the paramedic has left by now, btw -- and Callum goes off to have a survivor’s guilt trip about Thomas’s death and how he couldn’t save him and how he should’ve been the one to die. He rips off his shirt because it’s got Thomas’s blood on it (sigh) and then makes a vow on one knee to get revenge on the man who killed Thomas. It’s very dramatic.
Chapter 5: Klara
Of course, Klara walks in on Callum doing his little half-naked vow. And God forgive me for showing this to all of your virgin eyes.
Other than on TV, which didn’t really count, she hadn’t seen many men’s bodies in her eighteen years of life—except for Steven, her ex-boyfriend. She would’ve felt guilty for almost forgetting about him but then again, he was forgettable. And Steven seemed to have forgotten about her when he cheated on prom night...
Callum’s body was...not forgettable.
Muscled. Ripped. Svelte. Bonnie. Tan and lean, with a dusting of dark hair on his upper chest which also sprouted below his belly button and went lower than she cared to admit she had noticed. Definitely not forgettable.
HE CAN’T BE MUSCLED AND RIPPED WHILE ALSO BEING SVELTE AND LEAN. THIS IS NOT HOW DESCRIPTIONS WORK. It’s like she just threw on all the “hot” words without thinking of what her character actually looked like.
Sasha, I will be in your walls later this week, so clear out your fucking schedule.
(Also “cheated on prom night” makes it sound like he cheated on prom night. As in he was dating prom night and cheated on it.)
Klara hurries off to find Callum some clothes from the lost and found stash. When she returns, he makes fun of her being embarrassed by his nakedness.
He chuckled softly and took the bundle from her hands. “Dinnae fash, it’s just skin.”
She allowed her gaze to drift downward. He looked back at her, eyes sparkling.
He held her gaze. Time seemed to slow and stretch, like freshly made taffy.
God, what love potion did she accidentally take? She wasn’t the insta-love crush type, and she didn’t need to become one all of a sudden.
1) What a wild tone shift. How is this anywhere near how anybody would act in this situation?
2) Just because you shine a spotlight on your bad choices doesn’t make them not bad choices, Sasha. “Uhuhuhu, if I SAY it’s not insta-love, then its not insta-love!” Not how that works, hun.
3) Did you just use the word gaze twice in three sentences. Editing whomst?
Anyway, they introduce themselves and Callum goes to change into his new fit. He does ask about the dirk and notebook he had on him, but Klara lies and says she found nothing, because she’s still worried he’s a serial killer and doesn’t want him to have his knife. Fair enough.
She says she never found a phone on him but that he could use hers to call someone, then offers her dad to give him a ride home, but gets nothing in response. She offers him food and that gets him going. Then when Callum seems confused by his mishmash of new clothes, we get this:
“Yeah. Come on, [the clothes] scream vintage.”
She put the nuked breakfast burrito onto a plate and turned to see a bewildered Callum sitting at the other end of the table, staring at his hands.
“Acid wash? Scrunchies? Lots of hair spray?” Nothing. “Taylor Swift’s 1989?” He looked even more confused.
Hey Sasha, um, don’t mind my T-posing behind you at this very moment, but when do you think Taylor Swift’s 1989 was released? Just asking.
Klara suspects that maybe Callum comes from some isolated village, or that he suffered some sort of brain injury, which one would think the EMT would also wonder, but I guess the healthcare in Scotland is pure doggy doo-doo in this universe.
Klara slid the plate of food across the table.
“I hope you’re not a vegetarian.”
He gave her a questioning look. “I’m no Lutheran, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Uh...” Was that the famous dry Scottish humor she still didn’t get? “Do you like meat?”
He nodded, shaggy hair flopping with the movement. “Very much.”
Klara gave him a tight-lipped smile. His deep Scottish brogue was probably the thickest accent she had ever heard, which was saying a lot because a Glaswegian school group had once visited the manor.
Ah yes, the deep Scottish brogue of “very much.” Seriously though, why is his speech reduced to just having a thick accent? These people aren’t only thousands of miles apart in space, but nearly 500 years apart. They should not be able to communicate.
It feels like Sasha couldn’t even be bothered to look up those funny Scottish tweets that went viral a while ago, to make it seem at least slightly more authentic. Or ask any actual Scottish person to read through this mess.
Anyway, Callum thinks that Klara cooked his food, which she technically did, and is surprised by what he thinks is a noble lady doing the cooking herself.
“I thought the rich always employed a kitchen staff. You’re a...different sort of lady.”
“A different sort?” Was that a compliment or an insult? Klara laughed, mostly to hide a wince. Her family wasn’t rich—far from it—she couldn’t blame Callum for assuming. She did live in a massive, cool manor house brimming with antiques and oddities.
“Far from it”??? Didn’t you say your dad was a CFO of a boutique chain in the US? Babygirl just say you’re privileged and move on, you’re not fooling anybody with that “uhuhu we’re so HUMBLE and POOR in our MASSIVE HISTORIC MANSION FILLED WITH ANTIQUITIES.” This is why I can’t read contemporary romance written by pretty straight white women. I have to suffer through characters thinking that not being able to afford a fifth Live, Laugh, Love sign is oppression.
Also, if you remove “far from it,” the sentence becomes “Her family wasn’t rich, she couldn’t blame Callum for assuming.” This makes no sense, even with the aside. Did you miss a word somewhere? WHO EDITED THIS?! A little monkey???
They end up talking about Thomas being gone and Klara gets all sad about it because loss is tragic etc, and they bond over it. I’m not gonna say anything about this because I assume this is based on Sasha’s own life. Klara offers to help him find whoever took Thomas from him, but doesn’t know where Rosemere is, so instead they decide to go to The Black Hart.
She drives him there and thinks he’s about to kiss her before he gets out, which she doesn’t seem to mind, but this isn’t insta-love! It’s NOT insta-love! Shut up!
Callum gets out and heads for The Black Hart, but obviously it’s all modern and different now, so he chickens out and walks into the forest instead. Klara is compelled to follow him because of a Mysterious, Unexplained Feeling. Like, she’s physically pulled back into the plot by it. Watch the master Sasha at work, crafting her story for us to enjoy:
And yet, though she had only known him a few hours, she felt a tinge of sadness.
Well, less of a tinge...more like a pull.
[...] Deep in her chest, a knot formed. It was the strangest thing. Like nothing she had felt before. It wasn’t love, or empathy. It was a physical feeling, like a rope was tightening around her ribs. [...]
But the farther she drove from The Black Hart, the more the feeling intensified. It felt as if something was pulling her back. The longer she resisted, the tighter it became, until it was so tight, she felt like something would break inside her.
“What is this,” she choked, turning the wheel around. Her body moved of its own accord, but her brain was still trying to catch up.
To her relief, the feeling lessened as she got closer to the pub. [...]
Trust yourself.
Her mother’s words came to her, so loud and real in Klara’s mind that she actually looked to see if her mother was standing just outside the car, calling to her.
Yeah, excapt don’t trust yourself. Trust the plot literally pulling you back into it with mysterious feelings.
GOD. I said “mini snark” and then wrote this. So sorry, everyone. But also, no I’m not <3
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Hi there! My name is Mélodie Lutuni, I use she/her or they/them pronouns and I am currently traveling Paldea to do my best to broaden my horizons before eventually becoming a Pokémon professor! While I am not a professor just yet, save Pokémon medical advice, I can offer a lot of assistance regarding raising your Pokémon.
I am 22, going on 23 this June, have been training and journeying since I was 10, and have completed the following Pokédexes, excluding the national dex(es.): Kalos (my home region), Galar, Sinnoh, Unova and Kanto. I have worked briefly alongside those studying the Lumina phenomenon and I am currently progressing in Paldea's Pokédex completion!
One day, if all goes well, I'll be known as Professor Lutuni, and I hope to keep this blog active even then!
Tags (may be added to!):
- ( ⚘️ ) ⸻ i do have my quirks. : CHATTING.
- ( ⚘️ ) ⸻ adventure is worthwhile. : TRAVELING.
- ( ⚘️ ) ⸻ you pick and choose your battles. : BATTLING.
- ( ⚘️ ) ⸻ life is uncertain. eat dessert first. : COOKING.
- ( ⚘️ ) ⸻ love is being stupid together. : BREEDING.
- ( ⚘️ ) ⸻ love is whole no matter how many times divided. : RAISING.
- ( ⚘️ ) ⸻ always together in spirit. : INTERACTING.
- ( ⚘️ ) ⸻ question everything. learn something. : ASKS.
(OOC Info, tags, etc under read more!)
I am an experienced role-player with 13 years of writing experience as a whole. I prefer somewhat literate partners (ex, know the difference between sun and son, know and no, etc.) but will, overall, work well with anyone and everyone's writing styles, save script and *action* writers.
Notes for Mélodie: She is in Paldea, traveling about. She is literally blogging while traveling, every interaction is done thru a phone on her blog. She uses emojis and emotes because of this. To RP an actual event with her in Paldea, in character and in person, please DM me or send me an ask and we can set something up to have our muses interact in person, be it Discord or otherwise.
If you saw my previous stance on not engaging with 'high stakes' RP, I've luckily gotten a LOT better since I made that decision and am walking back on it!
You can find Mélodie's toyhouse profile here! (TBA)
My name is Noelle, the ONLY relations I have to Mélodie is that I'm of French descent, I'm about to turn 23 in June my pronouns are she/they as well, and I've been playing Pokémon since I was a wee babby, but my first game that I could read was DPP. I did not know you could have more than 6 Pokémon and never got past Gardenia, do not look at me LOL.
I don't care about who interacts with me, please don't be weird though, thanks!
I follow from @sanguine-depths !
Primarily a mobile blogger! I don't do extra tags past the current list (save triggers for pokemon abuse, etc), I will never reblog/post anything with flashing images.
I am disabled and have chronic health problems; I made this blog specifically to kill time and get more fun out of my Pokémon games. Posts may be sporadic, have minimal text or info dumps of text.
OOC Tags:
- unreality (all but ooc)
- pokemon irl (all but ooc)
- real pokemon (all but ooc)
- gnolle cackling (ooc posts to update on if anything is going on with me)
#( ⚘️ ) ⸻ i do have my quirks. : CHATTING.#( ⚘️ ) ⸻ adventure is worthwhile. : TRAVELING.#( ⚘️ ) ⸻ you pick and choose your battles. : BATTLING.#( ⚘️ ) ⸻ life is uncertain. eat dessert first. : COOKING.#( ⚘️ ) ⸻ love is being stupid together. : BREEDING.#( ⚘️ ) ⸻ love is whole no matter how many times divided. : RAISING.#( ⚘️ ) ⸻ always together in spirit. : INTERACTING.#( ⚘️ ) ⸻ question everything. learn something. : ASKS#unreality#pokemon irl#real pokemon#gnolle cackling
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weird asks that say a lot
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
water bottles cause you don’t have to wash them afterwards
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
Ew. No to both
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
Mega ew. Hate both
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
Probably as that lil mouthy shit who can’t listen to save her life
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
Cans. Easier to toss or hide
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
.......What?
7. earbuds or headphones?
headphones
8. movies or tv shows?
Tv shows. Last longer
9. favorite smell in the summer?
Probably cliche but I like honey suckle (we don’t have that here)
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
...... Does punching count?
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
Usually, a breakfast sandwich from the store, or a breakfast burrito. Depends if I get up early
12. name of your favorite playlist?
don’t got no playlists
13. lanyard or key ring?
....keychain?
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
SOUR MOTHER FUCKING PATCH
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
I guess it was “To Kill a Mockingbird”
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
Criss cross apple sauce
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
My DC shoes. They last a lifetime
18. ideal weather?
Fall. I like that it’s cold enough to sleep with the window open, but you won’t die (or get frostbite)
19. sleeping position?
I like to curl on my side and hug either pillows or blankets because m’big spoon
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
On my couch?
21. obsession from childhood?
......So many. I can’t name them all. Sesshomaru had my heart?
22. role model?
Johny Depp. Idk.
23. strange habits?
Htf would I know that? Live with me and find out
24. favorite crystal?
Amethyst (Yup thanks Stephen Universe)
25. first song you remember hearing?
“Little Bitty” by Alan Jackson (and for the record I hate country but this song played a huge part in my childhood)
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
Sip.
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
Sip.
28. five songs to describe you?
Five??? Jesus. Uh. Fuck. Lemme check my playlist..... Memories by 347aidan. All girls Are the Same by Juice Wrld. The New Great Depression by the Moth & the Flame. Candy by Machine Gun Kelly. And finally Breezeblocks by Alt-J
29. best way to bond with you?
Idk. Over food I guess? Lemme cook you something
30. places that you find sacred?
...... cemetaries?
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
..... Surprise. I don’t wear outfits to do that - buck ass naked is what’s tough
32. top five favorite vines?
Vines confuse me. Whatever was shot in the early 2000′s vibes with me
33. most used phrase in your phone?
Fuck off.
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
It’s my money and I want it NOW
35. average time you fall asleep?
.... Depends. Sometimes 10pm. Sometimes 2 or 3 AM.
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
Can’t recall
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
Duffel bag
38. lemonade or tea?
Gimme lemonade
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
Ew. Neither
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
..... I accidentally lost the class hedgehog
41. last person you texted?
My stupid brother
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
jacket pockets man those are essential AF
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
Hoodie, hands down
44. favorite scent for soap?
Mmm... not sure. I like the DIAL brands tho
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
....shit. That’s a tough one. .................Fantasy I guess
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
Trunks and a sleevless shirt
47. favorite type of cheese?
Commodity
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
Huh. Something bitter I guess. Plum?
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
“Whoever wants music instead of noise, joy instead of pleasure, soul instead of gold, creative work instead of business, passion instead of foolery, finds no home in this trivial world of ours." -Hermann Hesse
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
A toddler struggling to put on a slipper. That shit had me wheezing with laughter xD
51. current stresses?
Me. Work too I guess
52. favorite font?
Times new roman
53. what is the current state of your hands?
tattooed and scared the fuck up (thanks to my sister’s effin cat)
54. what did you learn from your first job?
I hate people.
55. favorite fairy tale?
Thumbelina
56. favorite tradition?
You don’t dump your food at a feast. You have to eat it up, or give it to someone else to eat up, and if not, you have to take it to the hills/mountains and give it back to the spirit (spirits).
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
Three?? Jeez. That’s kind of presumptuous. Biggest one: my abusive fucking mom. Second: my shitty fucking family. Third: my alcoholism but I haven’t overcome it yet
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
...... I have no talents
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
“Wring your panties out bitch and man the fuck up!”
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
Somebody who dies while saving somebody else ---- I got a big heart. I would do that for those I care for
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
One is for Sorrow.
Two is for Mirth.
Three is for a Funeral.
Four is for a Birth.
Five is for Heaven.
Six is for Hell.
Seven's for the Devil himself.
62. seven characters you relate to?
Nope. Can’t name seven. Lip Gallagher from Shameless is who I relate to
63. five songs that would play in your club?
Don’t go to clubs but if I did, this song would play: Avec Mes Mecs by Humans
64. favorite website from your childhood?
Youtube, of course.
65. any permanent scars?
Oh yeah. I got a shit ton. Especially over my right eye
66. favorite flower(s)?
Tie between amaryllis and paeonia
67. good luck charms?
...... nope
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
black licorice is the devil
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
sun visors can extend
70. left or right handed?
right handed
71. least favorite pattern?
dunno if i have one
72. worst subject?
history omg that shit bored me to death
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
spaghetti and mayonniase
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
Oh geez. Period cramps man. I got a pretty high pain tolerance but cramps fucking destroy me.
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
Idk. 5 years old maybe? Sooner?
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
Fries for sure. If it’s made right
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
Don’t keep plants. Don’t got a green thumb
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
Shit. Um... Sushi. I like food better then coffee 😂
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
Neither. fuckin hate those pictures
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
....what?
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
Never seen both so...neither?
82. pc or console?
PC
83. writing or drawing?
Bof em.Mostly writing on my part
84. podcasts or talk radio?
.....podcasts I think?
84. barbie or polly pocket?
BARBIE bitch.
85. fairy tales or mythology?
.....bof? they’re the same thing, right?
86. cookies or cupcakes?
Neither. No thank you
87. your greatest fear?
Deep. Dark. Water. Gross leeches and worm shit.
88. your greatest wish?
That I can be drunk every day without repercussion
89. who would you put before everyone else?
Man I got like 10 names here that I won’t drop. Family for sure.
90. luckiest mistake?
..... not sure i had one of those
91. boxes or bags?
bags
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
lamps
93. nicknames?
sully. celi.
94. favorite season?
Fall
95. favorite app on your phone?
facebook or tumblr
96. desktop background?
idk. it generates a random background every time i log in
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
like 5? even remember my old childhood number from 20 years ago. not sure why
98. favorite historical era?
er. nothing about history is my favorite. it was all bullshit
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“...A lone woman could, if she spun in almost every spare minute of her day, on her own keep a small family clothed in minimum comfort (and we know they did that). Adding a second spinner – even if they were less efficient (like a young girl just learning the craft or an older woman who has lost some dexterity in her hands) could push the household further into the ‘comfort’ margin, and we have to imagine that most of that added textile production would be consumed by the family (because people like having nice clothes!).
At the same time, that rate of production is high enough that a household which found itself bereft of (male) farmers (for instance due to a draft or military mortality) might well be able to patch the temporary hole in the family finances by dropping its textile consumption down to that minimum and selling or trading away the excess, for which there seems to have always been demand. ...Consequently, the line between women spinning for their own household and women spinning for the market often must have been merely a function of the financial situation of the family and the balance of clothing requirements to spinners in the household unit (much the same way agricultural surplus functioned).
Moreover, spinning absolutely dominates production time (again, around 85% of all of the labor-time, a ratio that the spinning wheel and the horizontal loom together don’t really change). This is actually quite handy, in a way, as we’ll see, because spinning (at least with a distaff) could be a mobile activity; a spinner could carry their spindle and distaff with them and set up almost anywhere, making use of small scraps of time here or there.
On the flip side, the labor demands here are high enough prior to the advent of better spinning and weaving technology in the Late Middle Ages (read: the spinning wheel, which is the truly revolutionary labor-saving device here) that most women would be spinning functionally all of the time, a constant background activity begun and carried out whenever they weren’t required to be actively moving around in order to fulfill a very real subsistence need for clothing in climates that humans are not particularly well adapted to naturally. The work of the spinner was every bit as important for maintaining the household as the work of the farmer and frankly students of history ought to see the two jobs as necessary and equal mirrors of each other.
At the same time, just as all farmers were not free, so all spinners were not free. It is abundantly clear that among the many tasks assigned to enslaved women within ancient households. Xenophon lists training the enslaved women of the household in wool-working as one of the duties of a good wife (Xen. Oik. 7.41). ...Columella also emphasizes that the vilica ought to be continually rotating between the spinners, weavers, cooks, cowsheds, pens and sickrooms, making use of the mobility that the distaff offered while her enslaved husband was out in the fields supervising the agricultural labor (of course, as with the bit of Xenophon above, the same sort of behavior would have been expected of the free wife as mistress of her own household).
...Consequently spinning and weaving were tasks that might be shared between both relatively elite women and far poorer and even enslaved women, though we should be sure not to take this too far. Doubtless it was a rather more pleasant experience to be the wealthy woman supervising enslaved or hired hands working wool in a large household than it was to be one of those enslaved women, or the wife of a very poor farmer desperately spinning to keep the farm afloat and the family fed. The poor woman spinner – who spins because she lacks a male wage-earner to support her – is a fixture of late medieval and early modern European society and (as J.S. Lee’s wage data makes clear; spinners were not paid well) must have also had quite a rough time of things.
It is difficult to overstate the importance of household textile production in the shaping of pre-modern gender roles. It infiltrates our language even today; a matrilineal line in a family is sometimes called a ‘distaff line,’ the female half of a male-female gendered pair is sometimes the ‘distaff counterpart’ for the same reason. Women who do not marry are sometimes still called ‘spinsters’ on the assumption that an unmarried woman would have to support herself by spinning and selling yarn (I’m not endorsing these usages, merely noting they exist).
E.W. Barber (Women’s Work, 29-41) suggests that this division of labor, which holds across a wide variety of societies was a product of the demands of the one necessarily gendered task in pre-modern societies: child-rearing. Barber notes that tasks compatible with the demands of keeping track of small children are those which do not require total attention (at least when full proficiency is reached; spinning is not exactly an easy task, but a skilled spinner can very easily spin while watching someone else and talking to a third person), can easily be interrupted, is not dangerous, can be easily moved, but do not require travel far from home; as Barber is quick to note, producing textiles (and spinning in particular) fill all of these requirements perfectly and that “the only other occupation that fits the criteria even half so well is that of preparing the daily food” which of course was also a female-gendered activity in most ancient societies. Barber thus essentially argues that it was the close coincidence of the demands of textile-production and child-rearing which led to the dominant paradigm where this work was ‘women’s work’ as per her title.
(There is some irony that while the men of patriarchal societies of antiquity – which is to say effectively all of the societies of antiquity – tended to see the gendered division of labor as a consequence of male superiority, it is in fact male incapability, particularly the male inability to nurse an infant, which structured the gendered division of labor in pre-modern societies, until the steady march of technology rendered the division itself obsolete. Also, and Barber points this out, citing Judith Brown, we should see this is a question about ability rather than reliance, just as some men did spin, weave and sew (again, often in a commercial capacity), so too did some women farm, gather or hunt. It is only the very rare and quite stupid person who will starve or freeze merely to adhere to gender roles and even then gender roles were often much more plastic in practice than stereotypes make them seem.)
Spinning became a central motif in many societies for ideal womanhood. Of course one foot of the fundament of Greek literature stands on the Odyssey, where Penelope’s defining act of arete is the clever weaving and unweaving of a burial shroud to deceive the suitors, but examples do not stop there. Lucretia, one of the key figures in the Roman legends concerning the foundation of the Republic, is marked out as outstanding among women because, when a group of aristocrats sneak home to try to settle a bet over who has the best wife, she is patiently spinning late into the night (with the enslaved women of her house working around her; often they get translated as ‘maids’ in a bit of bowdlerization. Any time you see ‘maids’ in the translation of a Greek or Roman text referring to household workers, it is usually quite safe to assume they are enslaved women) while the other women are out drinking (Liv. 1.57). This display of virtue causes the prince Sextus Tarquinius to form designs on Lucretia (which, being virtuous, she refuses), setting in motion the chain of crime and vengeance which will overthrow Rome’s monarchy. The purpose of Lucretia’s wool-working in the story is to establish her supreme virtue as the perfect aristocratic wife.
...For myself, I find that students can fairly readily understand the centrality of farming in everyday life in the pre-modern world, but are slower to grasp spinning and weaving (often tacitly assuming that women were effectively idle, or generically ‘homemaking’ in ways that precluded production). And students cannot be faulted for this – they generally aren’t confronted with this reality in classes or in popular culture. ...Even more than farming or blacksmithing, this is an economic and household activity that is rendered invisible in the popular imagination of the past, even as (as you can see from the artwork in this post) it was a dominant visual motif for representing the work of women for centuries.”
- Bret Devereaux, “Clothing, How Did They Make It? Part III: Spin Me Right Round…”
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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”
PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN
y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.
─── corpse husband x reader
─── soc. media + written fiction!
─── word count: 2.2k
─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand)
author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!
ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.
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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it.
Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.
Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge.
But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.
Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”
You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.
But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too.
Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.
That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view.
You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”.
Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.
Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.
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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”
Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.
“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”
While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.
r u dating sykkuno?
You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”
the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team
“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”
how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?
“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute.
can i be adopted by ur parents plz
will you and corpse ever collab?!
You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.
Corpse_Husband: yes.
Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.
pack it up, sykkuno
More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets.
“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”
we are prepared
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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.
y/n is a child murderer
“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”
take a break and go eat queen <3
“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”
Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance.
“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?”
The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over.
“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”
Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”
“Your pizza came.”
“My what now?” You echo, confused.
“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”
“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”
Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.
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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”
If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae.
looking hot, her message read.
thanks, was all you replied with.
You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.
Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.
“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”
You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.
“Glad you liked it, baby.”
He was going to be the death of you.
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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707
more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙
#corpse husband#corpse#corpse husband x reader#corpse x reader#corpse husband imagine#corpse social media au#corpse husband fanfic#social media au#corpse husband x y/n#corpse x y/n#corpse husband fic#reader#xreader#imagine#imagines#myso#make you say oh
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more boyfriend headcanons: love languages
↯ pairing: eren jaeger x (fem) reader
↯ genres and warnings: modern au, college au to some extent, fluff
↯ notes: i cannot stop thinking about him, so have 50 more head canons about this absolute menace. despite the title, he can and will turn anything into a love language, so beware.
annoying the hell out of you (quality time)
You’ve heard of girls sitting on their boyfriend��s laps and hugging them/falling asleep while they play games, now get ready for: boyfriends hugging you from the back while you attempt to do any mundane activity bc they miss you.
Because that’s Eren. About almost anything, because his physical affection, when not in the presence of other people, is absolutely on ten thousand and one.
The only public place he doesn’t mind cuddling up to you is the library. He doesn’t mind putting his arm around you or leaning his head on your shoulder, or even doing the sitting hugging thing in the library. Mostly because few people are there anyway.
Mind you, you’re the one who even showed him where the library was, and now he doesn’t know how to act. “Eren it’s not a ‘cuddling spot.’ It’s the library where I—and lots of other people, including yourself—go to do homework.” “If not cuddling spot, then why library chairs and study rooms cuddly?”
Particularly when it’s getting late and you’ve been crammed in the library for hours, and Eren just wants you to pack it up so he can drive you home. He’ll squeeze himself between your body and the back of your chair, wrap his arms around your stomach, and lay his cheek on your back.
Most times he falls asleep waiting for you to be finished. Sometimes he gets impatient and tickles you until you agree to leave. Either works for him.
He doesn’t not like holding hands in public, but it’s not his go to either. If you’re walking together, sometimes he’ll wrap his arm around your shoulder—usually after some cocky comment—or even walk behind you with his hands on your shoulders like it’s a two person conga line.
He doesn’t kiss you in public a lot, and never around his friends. They can see the literal hearts in his eyes when he’s around you though, so it’s not like he has to. On occasion, he will kiss your cheek. It’s kind of random, but you don’t question it.
In all honestly, whenever he gets affectionate or cuddly in public is all pretty random, even to him. Sometimes he’ll just be standing around you and he’s hit with the urge to engulf you in a hug and kiss your cheeks and he has to stop himself like, “....Why did I just think about doing that?”
Partially because he wasn’t outwardly hugged or shown affection a lot as a child, so sometimes he gets to urges children do to just want a hug. But he’s also pretty bad and/or new at processing his emotions like that so he mostly stands there like 🧍 looking at you with lovey dovey eyes instead.
Touchy when he’s drunk. But that’s not exclusive to you; anyone in a five foot radius of him will be subject to his arm slung around their shoulders, or him being slumped over their back, or random head ruffles.
Most commonly Armin, but I think we all knew that. Sometimes it’s Jean, and Jean is an even messier drunk, which results in the both of them actually being overly affectionate with each other in a strange, but endearing way. They both deny it to their graves when they’re sober, though.
Hovers around you. Constantly. Like a shadow.
Does not leave you the hell alone when you’re in the kitchen. Will make it 100x more difficult for you to cook or just maneuver, which is ironic seeing as the most gourmet thing he can cook up is bagel with cream cheese.
Sometimes Eren seems unaware of his size in comparison to you and your friends. It’s very sweet that he laughs with his whole body, but he’s got to realize that if bumps into you because of his sporadic laughter, that he might accidentally knock you into next Tuesday.
Likes when you touch his hair, doesn’t matter where or when, or who’s around. He loves it, all of it.
Will press his face against yours if he has stubble, just to be annoying. Like always.
If you hadn’t gotten it from everything else, he just likes to annoy you in general. But, like, affectionately. I keep saying it’s his love language and I mean it. Really—what it is is that he likes spending time with you, but he also likes annoying the hell out of you, too.
Bites. Not in a sexy way—well, unless you want him too—but, just because. Bites your shoulder when you’re not expecting it, bites your cheek while you’re in the middle of watching a show. Sometimes he takes your hand in his and your think it’s going to be sweet and he’s going to kiss it, but really he just brings it to his mouth to bite it.
Bites your ass, too. Again, just for fun. Because he thinks he can get away with it. Biting is a love language I’m telling y’all.
Likes to give you piggy back rides, even if you don’t ask for them or need one. You could be going from your room to the living room and Eren insists on carrying you there.
And for some reason, he thinks that because he likes to hold/lift you, that that should apply to you as well?? Like he’s not 6′1 and big bodied, hello?? Eren you cannot just jump on top of people, you’re grown.
He lets you dress him a lot. His fashion sense isn’t bad, and to be honest with you, I think he’d be a little bit of a hypebeast LOL. I don’t mean decked out head to toe in Supreme (god forbid...) but definitely has a bit of a sneaker obsession.
Not that he keeps them clean or is obsessive about creasing them he couldn’t care less. He just thinks they’re cool. Maybe even some accessories too, like those KAWS toys. Not a lot because they’re hard to get, but is really proud of his little growing collection.
But if you want to dress him up, he’s down for it. Would even let you buy him a pea coat so he can pretend to be a scholar. (He’s not BYE). He’ll tell you if something really isn’t his style, but he’ll wear it if you tell him he looks hot 🙄
Kinda forces his way into your life in little ways. Like, he’ll start adding his favorite snacks to your grocery lists. Moves a pair of your shoes from the door to make room for his own when he’s over. Basically claims two drawers for himself in your dresser. Annoying. Endearing.
Lowkey has his own intricate skincare routine, but he likes doing it with you more. He’ll make it a whole thing, and buy wine, and stupid drinking card games, and sit with you on your bed for 2 hours playing while your face masks dry.
Texts you if you’re in the same room as him, but not paying attention to him. Especially if you’re doing schoolwork.
Throws pillows at you while you’re sitting at your desk to get your attention. He could just say your name, but it’s so much more fun this way (according to him anyway). It’s all fun and games until you smother him with one.
Thinks arguing with you is cute, and sometimes says or does—or doesn’t do, for that matter—things just to incite an argument. Not a big one, or something serious, just petty things to rile you up so he can kiss and make up for it. For example, he’ll purposely putting the dishes in the wrong place, or hiding the remote from you, or putting his clothes in the wrong hamper.
“Eren, I swear to god, if you don’t stop putting the water bottles on the top shelf—” “What are you gonna do it about, pretty girl? Hit me with it? You can’t even reach—ow!”
being your loudest hype man (words of affirmation)
The amount of pictures he has of you... criminal. From off-guards, to posed photos, to selfies, to screenshots, he has them all tucked away in a little folder with your name and a string of very inappropriate emojis after it.
Screenshots 90% of your snaps to him, even if his just of your eyebrows up. Sometimes because he thinks it’s funny, sometimes to save the picture because he likes it, but mostly because he knows you don’t understand WHY and that’s gives him the most satisfaction 😌
Loud and annoying in your comments on social media too. Hype man almost to a cringe fail level. He doesn’t care though, he has to let it be known.
You could post a simple picture of you and Mikasa at lunch and Eren is in the comments screaming as per usual. @jaegerbomb: do i see TWO pretty best friends??? fuck it up besties 😫🥵🥵😜
GOD. HE WOULD RESPOND WITH “SO TRUE, BESTIE” TO ANYTHING ONCE HE LEARNS WHAT IT MEANS.
Oh, but he doesn’t take to it lightly when you call him bestie, or refer to him as your friend in any capacity. He’s your boyfriend, and would like to be labeled as such.
If you did that prank where you pick up the phone while you’re around him and say “Oh, I’m not too busy, I’m hanging with a friend right now,” he would pout about it for days. Days. Doesn’t get over it, and reminds you of your transgressions every two to three business weeks.
Tells you you look hot all the time, regardless of what you’re doing or wearing. He means it, too, genuinely, he thinks you’re hot. But he does get a kick out of how potentially embarrassed it makes you.
Tells you you’re smart and beautiful and his favorite person on the planet. He means it, always, even if the delivery isn’t romantic. Although, he would argue that telling you he would “tap that” is very romantic.
for him: receiving gifts & words of affirmation
Eren would be really humbled and honored to receive a gift from you. He needs to receive physical affection, too—but something about you thinking about him enough to buy or make him a gift that he’ll love and cherish really hits home for him. He doesn’t have many people who would do that for him.
If you buy him anything, he’s using it the second it’s out of the wrapping paper. You buy him shoes? He’s wearing them the next day. A new case for his phone? Rips the old one off in an instant. A little trinket for his keychain? He can barely remember to carry his keys in the first place, but suddenly he can’t ever forget them now.
He just can’t get over the fact that you think about him and know him well enough to tailor your purchases to his liking. It’s almost an impossible concept to him, and really reassuring that you love him as much as he loves you.
On a similar note, he actually doesn’t mind couple items, as long as they’re not obvious and/or corny. Down to have a pair of matching hats or phone cases or even sneakers. You don’t even have to always/only wear them at the same time, just knowing you have the same thing at home kinda makes him feel fuzzy inside.
He also thinks it’s hot. He can’t explain why knowing his girl has the same kicks at him is hot, he just knows it is.
As much as he likes telling you how hot you are, Eren also likes to hear that you find him attractive—and that you like him, in general. For the most part, he gets that from your physical reciprocity and quite literally letting him hover around you like a fly, but it’s nice to be told with words every once in a while.
For as much as he knows it, he gets a little caught of guard whenever you tell him you love him. He knows you love him, but hearing it sometimes is a little surreal to him. Very reassuring, too, and everyone needs a little reassurance from time to time.
#aot x reader#snk x reader#eren x reader#eren jaeger x reader#eren yeager x reader#aot imagines#snk imagines#eren smut#eren fluff#levi x reader
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Domestic life with Hawks (Keigo)
Desc: What it’s like being married to Hawks, living with him, my own personal headcanons and how he is as a husband overall
TW// Swearing, very brief mention of Hawks’ childhood trauma (you’ll miss it if you blink kinda thing)
oh my god I have not posted a headcanon in over 2 months- let’s hope this makes up for it
Masterlist
-Let me just get the ball rolling and say this man will tease you 25/8. He 100% uses his feathers to snatch things out of your hands, or he’ll move every piece of furniture a few inches so that you’re confused but not suspicious.
“Keigo was this table here before?”
“Yeah babe, it’s been there since we first bought it”
“Strange...I could of sworn it was closer to the right”
-Little shit can barely hold back his chuckles as he watches you knock into everything like a baby deer.
-Aside from teasing you relentlessly I don’t think he would ever pull any seriously harmful pranks- he hates when you’re angry with him.
-Because of how busy he is being the number 2 hero neither of you get to go on as many dates as you want. Dates with Hawks usually only happen once a month- twice if you’re lucky.
-But it’s okay because Hawks is the type of husband that won’t ever let you feel forgotten.
-Expect him to fly by your office while you’re in a meeting because he does it so often that your co-workers place bets on when he’s going to pop by next.
- He’s definitely flown into the window before
-Aside from ambushing you at work, he’ll send different flowers to your office all the time with a little note attached explaining the meaning.
-He’s the type of husband who can read you like a book, you cannot get ANYTHING past this man.
“Babe I know you’re mad about me taking all of your left shoes and making you late to work”
“How the fuck-“
“I’ve interrogated class A villains for years, reading you is a walk in the park”
-No but for real it’s scary how quick he is to catch onto your feelings, it’s like a sixth sense. You could be having a bad day at work and suddenly:
Message from Kei❤️💍: Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight?
-Man his perceptive abilities are god tier.
-He’s the type of husband that quietly comforts you by letting you cry on his shoulder while he holds you. Hawks is great at smooth talking, but Keigo genuinely has no idea how to verbally comfort you.
-He feels like he can completely let go of the Hawks persona when he’s around you. He’s not “Pro-Hero Hawks” when he’s alone with you, he’s just regular Keigo.
-And he’s a very trusting husband because if he can let go of that persona and be vulnerable self around you, then he has no reason to have even the slightest bit of doubt.
-Oh you thought he was protective when he was your boyfriend? get ready for “mother hen Keigo” after the two of you get married.
-He has so many enemies and now that you’re his official other half he needs to increase your security- he would hate himself if he allowed you to get in harms way.
-Of course he knows you have boundaries- he would never want to make you feel overwhelmed. He’ll just ask the hero’s patrolling your area to report to him if there’s anything suspicious.
-Now that we’ve gone over what he’s like as a husband, let’s talk about the process of moving in with him.
-Let’s be honest, he won’t feel confident enough to ask you to move in with him until you’ve been together for at least 4-5 years.
-He needs to know that you’re here to stay before taking such a big step with you. Don’t be surprised that he’s asking you to move in with him on the day he proposes.
-Hawks lives a fast paced life, never having someone who stuck around for more than a few years. He’s hesitant to propose because in the back of his mind he fears you’ll leave him too.
-Once you say yes and agree to move in with him, he starts to panic a little.
-His penthouse apartment feels so empty because he’s never had the time or patience to even personalize it- he’s always busy working, why should he care?
-The logical side of his brain makes him realize that the two of you will make it feel like a real home.
-Once the day came around he helped pack all your belongings and he just marveled at all your interests- civilians had the free time to have interests whereas he barely had the time to rest.
-He packs each of your belongings with care after analyzing each piece. You end up bonking him on the head because what the hell is taking so long?
-After all of your things are put away in your new shared home, he can’t help but grin a little bit. He was finally experiencing what a home is supposed to feel like.
-The first few months you need to stop him from buying ridiculous things.
“Keigo what the hell?! I said no stupid purchases!”
“An inflatable banana pool floater is not a stupid purchase”
-He has a nasty habit of throwing his dirty hero costume on your favourite rug whenever he gets home.
“Babe I’m sorry, I’ll stop doing it”
“You said that yesterday, and the day before!”
-Whenever he’s exhausted he’ll flop on top of you and ask you to rub the tender spots around his wings.
-Good luck getting him off you if he falls asleep while you rub his back, man sleeps like a damn boulder.
-You have to teach him how to make nutritious meals because this man will literally eat anything so long as it’s quick. As a hero he rarely has time to eat, so cooking good food is completely off the table for him.
-You end up cooking him filling lunches/dinners for him whenever he goes on patrol. He always gives you a sweet kiss as a thank you.
“The meals don’t taste as good whenever I leave without giving you a goodbye kiss”
-He’s actually got a habit of stroking your cheek whenever he gets home from patrol and you’re already asleep.
-Sometimes he forgets his wings are huge obstacles so don’t be surprised if he whacks you with them by accident. Asshole thinks it’s funny when you squeal.
-Nobody can say he doesn’t have a habit of texting you cute photos of dogs he sees while on patrol.
-He’s slowly working out of his habit of suddenly slipping away whenever you try to sneak hug him. His childhood trauma makes him react like that.
-He has the cutest habit of nuzzling your jaw with his nose before he flys off for work. Also has a habit of touching your waist when he passes by you
-The two of you will always cook breakfast together- no if’s, ands or buts.
-It’s one of your favourite domestic things to do with each other and it makes him feel like a normal couple.
-When he comes home from a rough day he immediately searches for you and gives you a “I’m back” kiss- no matter how bruised and battered he is, he’ll always give you a kiss when he returns home.
-When he gets into bed with you he’ll rest his head on your chest and listen to your heart beat, it reminds him that all of this is real and that you’re not just a figment of his imagination
-Patching him up and then kissing his wounds has become another daily ritual for the two of you- even if it’s just a pesky paper cut. He does the exact same for you.
-No matter what, the two of you always make time to talk about your day over coffee or tea. again, it makes Keigo feel like he’s in a normal relationship
-Call me boring for this one but cleaning up after dinner is a daily ritual for the two of you. He’ll fling soap bubbles at you and laugh as you chase him around and try to give him a soap beard.
-Listen, Keigo just wants to feel like a normal person. Doing normal household chores with you makes him so happy.
Hawks is a very loving husband who would die a thousand deaths for you. He’s not perfect but then again, no one is perfect.
He’s a filthy tease and a prankster but he’s one protective bastard that loves you to the moon and back.
10/10 would marry Hawks any day
#keigo takami#keigo x you#keigo x reader#keigo x y/n#keigo takami x y/n#keigo takami x reader#keigo takami x you#mha hawks x reader#mha hawks x you#mha hawks x y/n#bnha hawks x reader#bnha hawks#bnha hawks x you#bnha hawks x y/n#hawks fluff#hawks drabble#hawks headcanons#keigo fluff#keigo drabbles#keigo headcanons#keigo takami headcanons#bnha headcanons#keigo takami drabbles#mha headcanons#mha drabbles
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