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Today, im giving appreciation and support for these sys fellas out there, who:
Have manier than one role and had to work more (or interchangeably)
Is known for being "problematic" but still put a lot of effort managing it
Still get through the day and tackle tasks despite not being proficient compared to other parts
Can do inner-therapy which helps other parts get an insight and dismantle unhelpful mindset/coping mech, it had always been a tough job to knock some sense and break the loop
Are currently healing from the past and having it rough, it'll be worth riding 'til the end
Have denial episodes of being plural or have trauma often
Are tired of dealing with more BS but still chose to survive to the next day, remember, after heavy rain it comes a clear sky
Doesn't think with logic or tuned to people/self's emotions to survive in a volatile environment, and is trying their best to recover the lost connection
[and anything else you think deserve to be known here]
I think my previous post about sending some appreciation for hosts is just one of the most common role that represents us, systems functioning. But there are always more silent, covert things that we don't give enough attention to, which is as important of anyone else.
Validate and spread acknowledgement.
- j
#did#actually did#did community#did osdd#did system#dissociative identity disorder#sysblr#plural#system stuff#janswersask#jsaid
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Hey there! I've been researching information about DID, OSDD and partial DID because while I have bpd and PTSD, my experience cannot be fully explained by those alone. Recently I found out about partial DID and it fits my experience incredibly well but there's one part I'm not sure about. In the ICD11, they mention something at the end of the diagnostic requirements:
"The symptoms result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning. If functioning is maintained, it is only through significant additional effort."
This isn't really specific enough for me, since my other disorders can be used as explanations for many a "significant impairment" I have in daily life. So I was wondering if maybe you guys had an idea of how this impairment would look?
I still have a month left before I see my therapist again (in a clinic) and I get scared of bringing up things that turn out "wrong", so I'm trying to figure this out without him for now until I see him again. That is why I wanted to ask someone else for their insight and opinion on this. Thank you so much in advance
When it comes to impairment in dissociative disorders, it would be two main things i can see;
Memory, and sense of cohesive self:
In some form or another, amnesia is prevalent for systems, and there are signs like incomplete memory, lacking the emotional aspect of a memory (such as, a friend threw me a party, i seem to react X but i can't feel it personally) Or frequent forgetfulness, that's not normal but sadly it is for us.
And the other one when i mean sense of self, we're made of different facets, it was supposed to be integrated but instead compartmentalized. So this means systems are having a hard time being consistent, especially for p-did where switching fronts are rare or to none you are still going to feel a lot of passive influence from the others. Socially, this can confuse people because one day you'd hate broccoli and the other day you'd like it,, or even picking choices, big or small.
Also lastly, bpd and p-did can look very similar because both have multiple selves that seem to chit chat, but the clearest sign i have seen is if its more to normal commentary (can't really be talked like a separate person), still recognized as a part of you, and do not act very different like alters im pretty sure this has a high chance it belongs to bpd. But if it has different names, different looks, wants, and all those system stuffs, high chances it doesn't belong to bpd and instead more to a system thing.
Hope that answers it, let me know if it's still not clear i'd be happy to add more on the comment later on.
- j
#did#actually did#did community#did osdd#did system#dissociative identity disorder#sysblr#plural#system stuff#janswersask
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Is it possible for an alter to be non-verbal when the rest of the system isn't?
It’s 100% possible to have nonverbals in a system even if most of the members are capable of talking. Everyone have a varying degree in being verbal,, it ranges from being overly-verbal or to nonverbal, people have their natural levels of how much they’re comfy with using spoken language and it’s limit. They’re also a valid part of being a system as they can have a role or purposes just like the others.
Some can talk to strangers with ease, some can only talk to people they know, some still have trouble speaking even with people they’re comfortable with and the usual issue i find for nonverbals are the frustration of wanting to talk, yet the mouth isn’t giving it and could only speak a word or two at best. Sometimes its also by choice and actually like being nonverbal.
When you have a nonverbal, i really want you to encourage many kinds of ways for it to communicate such is writing, drawing, gesturing,, even using pictures/emotes and talk to how you would to a person normally. Also clarifying that being nonverbal does not equal to not being social, that has nothing to do with it.
I really hope this shed a light on how to understand having a nonverbal, make sure to read more sources into it!
Edit: im sorry that some of you disagreed, though this is from what i had observed from my own system and im sorry for the bad wordings or terms, i will rely on your answers for those who have a better explanation and i admit i am not perfect in capable of answering everything right all the time thankyou.
- j
#did#actually did#did community#did system#did osdd#dissociative identity disorder#plural#system stuff#sysblr#janswersask
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do you have any advice for communicating with alters for new systems?
We had it lucky being able to talk to each other just fine inside, so take these advices with a grain of salt because it may or may not work for you.
Using external tools: i find my people articulating better when written down in a paper or doing it on phone, maybe on discord or notes app. Sometimes brain just fails us and made everything blurry to hear so this had worked.
Calling out: we had a bunch who won’t talk until someone actively searches for them (we can feel parts lurking around) and engage in a chat, first it felt awkward, but the point is to warm up with them so they’re not reluctant to talk next time. So asking if there’s anyone and kindly want to talk at that moment might work at first try, or doesn’t.
Practice in silence: noisy places disrupt my focus (and can to you) so it’s way harder to send a message or receive one if there’s already a lot of transmission from the external world. I find it better to do it in silence where i can focus better, to vocalize words and see if anyone responded, just putting every attention i have in noticing signs or someone.
Innerworld: this is a helpful mental environment to foster greater communication, my people (because I can’t) always try to go inside if could because that’s how we can talk in ease, we can see each other, pay attention to body language, those cues that you can’t get when focusing on the outside. If you don’t have a complete one, or none,, then you should actively focus on worldbuilding. (Ask me again about this if needed)
Stay receptive: the voices can feel muted than usual, that we may not even realize they’re trying to communicate. Also pay attention if you feel any else’s feelings in your body because thats also a cue in trying to communicate (but maybe just not in words, thats fair) since most people miss this one out often.
Anyway, this is all i got, i also suggest you to do more reading into internal communication because we learn better and faster from reading multiple resources, goodluck man.
- j
#did#actually did#did community#did system#did osdd#dissociative identity disorder#plural#system stuff#sysblr#janswersask
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Do you know if alters having different opinions and wants and needs and genders (though many are without any strong dissociative barriers) together with at least one alter being separated with like blackout dissociation is sufficient symptoms for DID?
Having voices with different opinions, preferences and genders plus amnesia barriers (even if it’s only to some) is sufficient for a dissociative disorder though i cannot specify if you have DID or the other types. So I’ll just do this:
If you have prominent gaps in memories and having amnesia barriers enough to not be aware unless updated or memory-shared (i mean we can do this) then usually this is DID.
If you feel like you are more aware of everything as in a weaker barrier, which literally means others naturally knows better of what the past or previous present events and have a better recollection of what other parts did, this is OSDD (also have a friend with it so its very different because we have a harder time trying to piece a timeline together while they got it easier, though still have amnesia or a disconnection in emotional ways)
If you have amnesia like in DID but you notice about splitting/forming more often to do specific tasks or after some stressful moments, this means you’re polyfrag (though I’d love polyfrags to help me explain the real experience for a better understanding to this anon)
Im clarifying that having communication and for how long you have known other parts can affect barriers, i hope you can figure out if you meet the criteria for DID or any of these types by doing more research too.
- j
#did#actually did#did community#did system#did osdd#dissociative identity disorder#plural#system stuff#sysblr#janswersask
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Hii, recently we split a new alter, and we think that they might be a subsystem. However, we have no experience with subsystems and we know very little information about them. Do you have any experience with subsystems or do you know any subsystem blogs where i could get advice or more information?
~ Spider 🕷️ & Blair 🥀
Yeah, this was made for subsystem explanation in drawing!
Subsystems also look different for everyone so you don't have to 100% agree or have the things in here
- j
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what is emotional amnesia?
Unlike the normal amnesia where the recall of memory is compromised, aka what makes you forget and hard to remember,, this amnesia makes you harder to access the emotions associated with a situation or moment. You can know what happened, but you have no clue how you feel back then, even if, for example, it was at an argument.
- j
#did#actually did#did community#did osdd#did system#dissociative identity disorder#sysblr#plural#system stuff#janswersask
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yelloooo wanted to know if it's possible for alters to completely change appearances??? and is there something that could possibly be the reason why?? had some dude who had a complete overhaul in his appearances and almost everyone was confused except hym .. thx in advance for the answerrrr !! - 💉
It is absolutely, completely, possible. Sometimes even more than once.
There are reasons like experiencing change in appearance due to splitting/fusing, or don't feel connected to the previous look/vibe and change things up to what they align to currently, or trying to adopt a new look on purpose,, well it can be for many reasons, just that it's usually very personal-based decisions.
- j
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Question that's not explicitly plurality related but I think that yall would probably know the most about it, if that's ok?
How can you tell when a thought is yours? Like I'll have thoughts that I definitely know I'm thinking, but there's also a song running in the background (which I think is normal to not be able to stop, don't know if it's normal to purposefully try to think over it and have it still go just sound like it's underneath your thoughts), and other background noise too. By "background noise" I mean random trains of thought that I can't fully hear unless I focus on them. And then sometimes my brain will just start talking, narrating my life or telling a story or making up a scenerio or something. Sometimes it's full on conversations. It's not something that I'm trying to do, and if I'm like "hey brain, can you shut up ^.^" it'll be like "no" and resume (sometimes it just doesn't stop and sometimes it will literally say no, the latter not often though)
I'll also have conversations with myself, both outloud/internal and internal/internal, but only one of them will really feel like conscious thought so idk what's up there
I can't tell if my brain is just running without my input or if something else might be up here, but I figured that you guys most likely have more experience than a lot of people (singlets) with thoughts-that-don't-belong-to-you sooo.... yeah
Yep, im ok with it; Well in general means, there still can be thoughts that seems to be lingering around that doesn't necessarily correlate to being plural! I definitely know what you're talking about, so in this case i thought of a few things such as:
Intrusive thoughts
This is when you unexpectedly think of something, which seem to pop up here and there that didn't actively come from you. How often someone experiences, and what kinds of thoughts have no limits. This one will make sense when you mean thinking things that doesn't relate to your train of thought or personality at all.
Neurodivergency
Most apparent/often for people with ADHD, they often have their minds being loud with many background thoughts, often repeating a part of a song and or words. I am not entirely sure if this is for stimulation (keeping yourself from being bored or something) or because of scattered focus or other reasons that i had not mentioned. This isn't only limited to ADHD btw.
My Experience
Well, some people are chatty in nature, im one of them, i often think alot, chat to myself alot to the point of having a fake convo (i know im the one replying to myself, thats the thing) because you're brain is super active and all that.. eh, i wish it's silent you know? And it doesn't have anything to do with those two things up there before.
And to answer your very first question to how you can know it's your thought.. i can only explain in one definition: You always know the reason, or why, or the train of thought behind it. Something that interjects and does and follow your flow is a foreign thought.
Also, to be safe, these are what you have to look out for that could mean your thoughts... can be alters:
Commenting on different preferences often
Commenting on what you're doing, sometimes telling you to do it differently or somewhere along the lines
Refer with different names
Have consistent, distinguishable accent/tone/characteristic (where, obviously, are not your thoughts)
Seem to have different views, morals, ethics
Capable of handling conversations, and reasoning, as if it's a physical person you're talking to. Which is entirely outside of your own will and intention
Often dissociate, feel like a different you, and have inconsistent likes/dislikes
If you seem to match up with these signs, you are likely to be an undiscovered system. And i will dedicate myself to further assist you to assess if you are one in an even more detailed/complete manner because it takes a decent amount of time to figure this out (oh and feel free to read DID resources just incase). If you got your answer, thats great! If you think you are a system, feel free to refer this ask when DMing me alright?
Wish you a good day.
- j
#did#actually did#did community#did osdd#did system#sysblr#dissociative identity disorder#janswersask
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I just wanna say y’all were one of the early blogs we followed when joining any system community online and while we don’t look to this blog to much, y’all definitely helped us understand the community and like, you both are great
-🧃
Only been here for a year, but im glad that you're able to understand the plural community because of the very same reason!
Sadly im sort of working alone as everyone's been busy so i have plans for the future, but you are always welcomed to click on my blog to see all the posts you had not catch up on yet,, i promise it is very worth it, take it easy yeah?
If you need my assistance in the future, i'd absolutely do my best to help when the moment comes, happy scrolling buddy.
- j
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i would've put this on the post about physical symptoms itself,,, but id like to remain anonymous! sorry if that's inconvenient for you! we experience some symptoms with switching. a lot of our switches we don't notice at all (we're polyfrag so there are a lot of fragments,,, i think that eases the impact of switches to ensure functionality/keep us safe?). but some symptoms we experience when we do are acute terrible sleepiness (most common), to twitches and something like cataplexy symptoms (muscle weakness)
our girlfriend has compared it to suddenly looking like we have stroke symptoms for up to ten minutes. acute sleepiness, inability to keep our eyes open, muscle weakness, general inability to move our body and speech loss. we spend a fair bit of time just slumped at our desk apparently. sometimes when it's less intense we just can't speak for a few minutes (like a slow loading website,,,). i (sumi) don't remember this particularly well but i think we still maintain an awareness like we're trapped in our own body during it. it's very strange!
i hope this helps you out!
-sumi&crow from stc
Thankyou this is very detailed, i have learnt more about the smaller details of other symptoms from the experience you have described and i post this so if anyone sees this, they can relate to it and feel validated as well,
please let me know if you're interested in me making this post once more in the ask box if you'd like,, even if you are the only one interested i will still make it for your sake btw.
#did#actually did#did community#did osdd#did system#dissociative identity disorder#sysblr#system stuff#plural#janswersask
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Ahh question ahh. Ok ok so I think maybe I am did or system or such and I am doing research - What Now? Like even if I do or don’t talk to therapist and get The Diagnosis what are my steps what do I DO now that I think I now about this??
Like I feel like I’ve gone from having only passingly bare knowledge of did as “a thing that happens, some ppl I talk to use pluralkit” to “suddenly it’s happening to me and there’s a community and terms for things???”
I’m trying the communication thing but I don’t know who is who or who wants what and I’m having to remind myself I’m not faking even if this isn’t did it’s Something and no one knows pronouns or what names are augh
The start is always the hardest one we all go through, lost, doubting, needing answers for everything,
I suppose you can stay in the community or go to this social group (if you have discord) to learn more about things.
But in my opinion, i think you'll need to take time to dig lots of uncovered stuffs and link them up together or in order words, in a journey of discovery. The communication practice is a gradual process so its okay if you don't figure that one out yet!! It's going to take a while, but if you're consistent there will be progress here and there.
Wishing you luck,
- j
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Okay, so we've tried several times to write an ask, and each time we just..stop ?? So this time instead of explaining in detail n shit and saying how much we're sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, I'm just gonna write :/
So, we're kind of stuck, in the sense that idk if I'm/we're(both pronouns feel wrong lol) a system anymore and,wdk what to do about it.
Because basically 5-6 years ago, when we were around 10(i think, but at this point i only know the story through the "telephone" of our retellings) our brain tried to just.. get rid of most of the DID. I'm not even ducking kidding, i think it tried to lower barriers and smush most of us together, to the best of it's ability. From what I've gathered, it planned on shoving all our trauma deep down in the innerworlds, and hiding them from the main kid. Like, getting rid of thousands of fragments, banking them in little crevices of our brain etc.
That procedure was supposed to make it so the main kid could have more of their life for them- without access or even knowledge of the sheer size of the abyss and pain in background, and thus being less affected by it till they were old enough to deal with it. Idk how to explain really, especially since i myself barely understand.
In any case, it went wrong. I don't know why much, as our memory has increasingly deteriorated since to the point i have nearly no knowledge left. I'm not sure even all that ever happened, because maybe I'm just inventing stuff and creating a story were there is none, and I'm scared that what i know isn't real and just my imagination or smth
And what's left is..me i guess. I kinda feel like a fragment in the sense that i have limited consciousness and just..person-space(if that makes sense ?) I'm not sure if I'm several people, one person, an eldritch entity of kinda seperate kinda not glued together entities.
Idek what i want to be. I want to be a full person, that's for sure, but other than that ? Idk. I'm lost, I'm a mix of tons of different opinions and vague, weak, feelings, and flashes of blurry memories and desires that don't belong to me.
So.. i know you probably can't help, but do you have.. any idea on what I could do ? Or if others have been in similar situations and if it got better ?
This is a very long ask x knows, and it's desperate, and you aren't our/my psychs so I shouldn't just dump this and hope you have answers, and I'm so sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, but yeah.
I'm sorry.
Dissociative disorders do the job, but not perfectly, what you're explaining from the words of "nearly no knowledge left" sounds like retrograde amnesia, where it is near to impossible to remember anything from the past.
I also get a bit on what you mean with not knowing who you are,, that is usually close to a blurry moment? Because everything feels jumbled, its not clear, it is hard to discern wether there's multiple or not, etc. That could sound like it;
Have you been exposed to stress? Especially long term? Has anything awful been happening? Many factors can affect memory and recognizing who you are that can stem from basic needs that are neglected like sleep or rest if you're working for long periods, or deficiencies on vitamins/minerals/nutrition because they also play a part on fending off brain fog which can cause many issues like memory recall or trouble focusing,, or it can be to even deeper issues like stress as i said before, or if it is related to trauma, or any sustained physical injuries but it could be anything really.
Im guessing this is something that didn't happen in such a short time, but i do can give you some stuffs to do for starters:
Write down everything you can notice
those feelings, those lingering sense of identity, or vibes, or thoughts, they are truly jumbled and it helps you organize and recognize your situation better if you have a physical record of what you're experiencing
Find the cause of problem
If you can, try digging up anything you can find that could be the culprit, maybe before things get too foggy to remember that could serve as clues, and by checking with your current health (physically and mentally and emotionally) and see what could be fixed.
For sense of fulfillment
It is overwhelming to know which or where you have to start from if you want to learn more of yourself, while you can do number 1 to jot down things you don't align with, this also gives you some ideas on what could be yours. Start somewhere small, like, how you like your daily morning, or preference in eating food, or the colors you think it looks cool.
It would also be great if you can leave out the tiniest bit of context next time, so my answers for now are rather vague and less pinpointed/specific. Though atleast still can suffice as a starting point to tackle your issues.
You can contact me anytime via ask box or DMs, let's see how things go for you okay?
- j
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is it normally for alters to have different religions? especially a different religion than the host has?
Personally i have not seen/asked any other of my system friends having parts with different religions. But for my own, i can be aware we all have different levels of believing in christianity and most leaning to atheism.
I will say it is possible to have different religions because it is based on our beliefs and morals. Each religion carries its own specific sets of beliefs, morals, behaviors, and their view of what is right and wrong. Believing in a religion, most importantly, gives someone a sense of comfort and a reliable base to view in life and creates a self-purpose/goal in life (the reason why they joined one at the first place, other than to find its own community). Alters, if you remember, can have different behaviors, different ways of acting, and different outlooks in life,, which is why it's possible.
While i cannot say if having different religions is normal or not (due to limited proof), we can look in a different way wether having different religions is safe/healthy for your system living life? If it doesn't bother you pretty much, and respected each other, then it's all good! If you find that there are several problems that didn't go away after a few arguments or whatnots you are 100% allowed to re-contact me for further assistance.
I hope this had answered your question.
- j
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how do you stay in headspace when you’re not fronting? two of us are unable to stay in headspace when the others are fronting. we can feel everything though it’s slightly muted when we’re not fronting. how can we learn to stay in headspace?
First of all, every part has varying amount of awareness when fronting or not. With this information, i want to let you know if all advices fail, it does not mean you're defected, yet it is already a natural state and limitation you have (which isn't inherently bad but it'll still be annoying). So let me give you some stuffs to try:
This is a problem with being co-conscious, a term that means being aware of things outside despite not at front and can spectate. You either can..
Bring up your subtle triggers: yeah i mean there are some triggers that'll call you out and makes you be there and exist, not strong enough to initiate a switch if you know what im trying to say. So go on and give it a try if you have any and see how it went,, but if you don't have any, skip this.
Let the fronters engage a chat with you: now its true that you're already having a hard time staying and exist there already, but it got to be interrupted somehow. This one's more subtle than using triggers or interests to 'wake up' and it helps you be more aware of things since you have to actively engage in a conversation, this needs to be practiced multiple times although.
Start where you're at: if you can feel the presence of parts, or surroundings of the world, or get the gist what's happening irl. why not start there? No need to focus on 'seeing' first, but strengthen the already-existing sense you can use, it's easier to do that one thing you could atm rather than learning something new.
Train awareness from cofronting: it is not a full front, but you're also less passive compared to just being conscious, so what if you work your way from here and see if things are more clear and less muted?
Anyway, please keep me updated on the progress, via inbox or DMs is fine,, i would like to know what works and what doesn't so we can finish this problem once and for all, ight?
- j
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Made an appointment with a trauma and dissociation informed male therapist today; I say male because I have SEVERE mommy issues and I wonder if that's caused me to not work with other women well.
In one phone call, he made me feel more heard and seen than my last therapist, whom I worked with for two years.
Now that I've come to again and I'm not feeling four - I feel good about this choice. I know earlier there were feelings of betraying my existence and then I was little.. but now it feels okay.
I wanted to share this win, even if it is anonymous. I have no one else to share it with who would understand like everyone on this page.
My blog is a cool place with cool people so your win will be celebrated not only from me, but a lot of other ones too!
You're doing so great in therapy and you totally made the right choice,, i think it is also possible that you feel an aversion for anything similar that caused you harm at the past because our brain doesn't want to experience the second time with it.
I hope you come back to tell me how you've been after this remarkable moment, stay safe and don't forget to take care of yourself <3
- j
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