#honestly i just need him to say MY GUILLERMO once
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ALRIGHT since y’all are asking for this here’s NANDOR’s compilation: MY dear Guillermo, MY sweet sweet Guillermo, MY familiar, MY bodyguard, MY friend, MY fucking guy, MY closest companion
#honestly i just need him to say MY GUILLERMO once#can’t believe it’s been only four episodes#i mean wtf he’s gonna say next#wwdits spoilers#wwdits#nandermo#wwdits s4#guillermo de la cruz#nandor the relentless#nandor x guillermo#what we do in the shadows s4#what we do in the shadows
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Ok so I already made a brief post about the scene about halfway through s5e5 between Guillermo and his mother, and I tacked on an edit about potentially expanding my thoughts into a full length post, but I’m gonna be honest, when I wrote that I did so with the expectation that it would be yet another thing that I would say that I’m totally gonna do without ever getting around to it. Now it’s barely an hour later and I still can’t get it out of my fucking head and so I need to speak my thoughts into the void in hopes of getting validation from strangers on the internet.
I’m gonna put this all below the cut, both because of potential spoilers and some sensitive topics like religious trauma and queerphobia, but also because I know this is going to be long and I don’t want to clog up people’s dashboards.
Okie dokie let’s get into it
I was vague on purpose about The Scene I would be discussing above just in case anyone who hadn’t seen the episode accidentally stumbled on this, but just to clarify, I’m specifically referencing the scene after Guillermo’s family has left and it’s just him and his mom. I hesitate to say that it’s the most emotionally heart wrenching scene in the entire series, but it’s in the top 5 at the very least.
However, I just want to laser focus in on the moment where Sylvia puts the crucifix around Guillermo’s neck. Right after she notices it missing from Guillermo’s neck, she immediately goes to give him another one, because he “needs” it. I wanted to point out that phrase in particular, because it’s not that she would feel better if he wore it, it’s entirely for Guillermo’s benefit.
This reminds me of a particular quote from Dracula, where it’s really beginning to set in that Jonathan is a prisoner, and he thinks back to one of the villagers who gave him a crucifix:
“Bless that good, good woman who hung the crucifix round my neck! for it is a comfort and a strength to me whenever I touch it. It is odd that a thing which I have been taught to regard with disfavour and as idolatrous should in a time of loneliness and trouble be of help. Is it that there is something in the essence of the thing itself, or that it is a medium, a tangible help, in conveying memories of sympathy and comfort?”
I bring this up because in the scene between Sylvia and Guillermo, the crucifix serves less as a Christian symbol, and more as a demonstration of Sylvia’s love for her son. It’s even stated that it used to belong to Guillermo’s grandmother, giving it even more of an explicit connection to familial bonds. Hell, even in Dracula, Jonathan is told to wear the crucifix for his mother’s sake. I didn’t really need to quote Dracula to make this point, but I’m gonna be honest, I thought it was pretty cool how in both of these instances, any specific powers a crucifix might have aren’t ascribed to a divine being, but a more motherly power.
And all of that would be nice and cool, but unfortunately, What We Do In the Shadows has gone with the specific brand of lore where crucifixes are a vampire weakness, meaning that this symbol of motherly love is actually harmful for him. Watching the scene where Sylvia puts it around Guillermo’s neck, I honestly got chills, because you know that Sylvia is doing it for entirely altruistic reasons. However, the way the scene was shot combined with Guillermo’s reaction were a lot more brutal, and I just remember thinking how much it looked like he was being strangled. And then once it’s on his neck, they both turn to look in the mirror, and Sylvia is lovingly rubbing Guillermo’s back, and Guillermo is trying to smile even though he’s very visibly in pain.
Like I said in my original post, I do kinda wish we got badass dhampir!Guillermo who is immune to crucifixes and other vampire repellents, and I actually thought that the moment Sylvia put the crucifix around Guillermo’s neck would be the moment that this superpower would be revealed to Guillermo and the audience. I’m gonna be honest though, I cannot imagine a better way to visualize the idea of genuinely believing that you are helping someone, when in actuality you’re hurting them.
Here’s the part where you can stop reading if you’d like, because we’re about to enter the territory of “Red starts projecting their own issues onto Guillermo and calling it media analysis”, aka, “the part that is way too long”. I considered making all of this it’s own post, but it felt relevant to the ideas expressed in the scene I just discussed, and also I kinda just don’t feel like it. I hope other people can relate, but it’s purely my subjective feelings, and I’m not gonna pretend that this is universal. And if you’re someone who knows me in real life and you already made it this far uh... you are allowed to keep reading, but if you say anything about this to me in conversation I will actually die of embarrassment.
I found myself wondering a bit about what the crucifix scene was specifically a metaphor for, since Guillermo has already come out of the closet in season 4 (and also admitting that he wants to be a vampire), and his family loved him unconditionally. This is arguably a bit silly on my part, since the entire point of that kind of metaphor is that it doesn’t have to mean anything specific, it can represent a lot of things to a lot of people.
Which is why I’m gonna spend the rest of this post talking about how I think Guillermo’s vampire transformation is a metaphor for transgenderism because nobody can stop me.
I am not the first person to read Guillermo as a trans adjacent character, and people who are way smarter than me have made some fantastic posts about why he might be particularly relatable to a trans audience. I never particularly related to Guillermo for that reason (actually that’s a big fat lie I absolutely related to Guillermo because of my own angst about being in the closet) and I never thought of Guillermo as a trans character or a trans allegory until the start of the season 5, when I drew a connection between Guillermo going through Changes that would hopefully bring him closer to his ideal form and the fact that I personally just started taking HRT in early June. I never really had a reason to make any posts about it, since most of the connections I was making were pretty flimsy, and it was hard to make any actual arguments besides “it’s my comfort show and I get to choose the coping mechanisms”.
Then episode 5 came in with the steel chair.
My body is changing. A lot of it is barely noticeable, but it’s happening, and I know from hours of research that it’s going to be a lot more difficult to hide as a go along. And as dramatic as it might seem, I’m beginning to ask myself if there are people who I might never speak to again as a result. For the most part, I live my day to day life as Red, but there are people who still know me by my dead name because I purposely haven’t given them any reason to believe otherwise. Sometimes I feel like I’m being unfair by never allowing people to make up their own mind about my transition, but it’s terrifying to imagine how drastically people’s opinion of me might change if they knew The Truth about me.
Which is why Guillermo’s interactions with his family hit really close to home, because it’s clear that he loves them and they love him. But he’s turning into a vampire, and they’re vampire hunters. And it’s only a matter of time before that causes some serious problems. It’s entirely possible that he could tell them that he’s a vampire and it goes as well as when he came out the first time, but when the worst case scenario is having a stake driven through your heart, sometimes it’s better to just disappear, and leave them with memories of the person they thought they knew.
The crucifix scene in particular struck a cord with me, because so much of the time, people have done things that hurt me, and they have absolutely no idea how much they’re hurting me, because I don’t want to know how much they’re hurting me. Part of it is because I’ve convinced myself that any suffering I experience is worth it if I’m the only one suffering, but another part is that the only thing that scares me more than the pain is that if I tell them how much it hurts, they’ll do it anyway.
Letting go is hard though. Something I didn’t notice the first time I watched the crucifix scene is that after Guillermo leaves the apartment, Sylvia makes a comment to Miguel about how it’s the third time this month that he’s come to make that grand goodbye, and how he’ll probably be back again next week. I don’t really have anything to add to that to be honest, Guillermo loves his mom and will always love his mom and you just know that he’s gonna come up with any excuse to see her “just one last time”.
OK ANGST OVER. Wow, I honestly didn’t know I was about to get that depressing but that’s what happened so... I hope y’all enjoyed, and maybe it’s time to explain what tumblr is to my therapist
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💜My immediate thoughts on WWDITS FX S5E3💚
* Yana Gorskaya always directs the BEST Nandermo episodes!
* I love that we got a fresh, more subtle, “SeanaaAaAaAAy”
* Guillermo’s interview sitting in his footlocker is so sweet! It’s a reminder that Nandor bought him something he really wanted and that Nandor is responsible, in this small way, for helping Guillermo feel more like a vampire.
* Guillermo standing behind Nandor when Sean and Charmaine are in the fancy room is just a subtle reminder of how dedicated Guillermo remains to Nandor. He is not abandoning him.
* I WANT BOTH OF THOSE SEAN SHIRTS!
* AWWWW Nandor, your crush is showing, bb!
* Guillermo’s super speed was… lacking. He seems less strong than when he was slaying/bodyguarding in S2, 3, and 4. Maybe it’s because he is further away from being his true self. Laszlo saying that the turning has been “stymied”, to me, lends credence to the idea that Nandor’s blood could kickstart its completion. Guillermo will come into his full strength when he is finally united with Nandor for eternity.
* I gotta admit, it feels a bit like they just needed to find something for Natasia to be doing. I think she did a great job with the physical performance, but I don’t know how much her/the doll’s story here was needed.
* “Soft after two pumps”, Nandor? Could it be because you’ve just been thinking of Guillermo (the djinn’s wish) while not being with Guillermo. That issue will go away 👏 once 👏 you 👏 are 👏 with 👏 Guillermo!!!
* Nandor demanding he “is wanted” as a reason to spend time with Guillermo (and Laszlo) during their experiments was so telling. Like he needed to hear Laszlo say he is a powerful hypnotist to be happy, he needs to audibly hear that he is actually wanted, even if he’s the one saying it. Guillermo saying “I chose you. I want you.” is going to make this babygirl cream his jeans velvet robes.
* Nandor looking at Guillermo before saying he can fly higher than Laszlo is another obvious tell that he is only concerned with Guillermo’s opinion of him. He is searching for that validation!
* “Grey Boy” is such a good nickname for CR 😂
* Laszlo calling Guillermo “dear boy” is a huge compliment when you consider how their relationship in the series began. Laszlo may not show it (cuz it takes him a long time to show his emotions), but he does care for Guillermo’s wellbeing.
* Awwww Laszlooooo, look at you out living your best beach boy life! I’d say that red face’s sunburn would be worth it! It is interesting that Laszlo is able to take strength from Guillermo. Sure, it’s something Guillermo doesn’t sacrifice anything to give away (just some hours on the treadmill), but the metaphor of using Guillermo’s self-defined weakness (he hasn’t been turned well enough, he isn’t vampiric enough) to help bring a vampire joy is actually quite lovely
* Nandor admitted it! OMFG! I was SO ready for him to deny deny deny that he was just trying to impress Guillermo but HE DIDN’T! Honestly, I still can’t believe it.
* Not the TikTok trainspotting guy Nandor Cam 😂. As I watched Nandor slowly going further and further up, I kept trying to imagine what he was saying to himself in his mind. It had to be something about wanting to outshine Laszlo so that Guillermo will stay with him forever. And then maybe his (usually blissfully empty) mind would have led him to say “Well, there is one way I could make sure we’re together forever…”
* Charmaine’s face when Laszlo said how much Sean has tried to kiss him. 👀 Might we see a jealous Charmaine??
* Naked Nandy! GOOD LORD! Thank you writers. Thank you, Yana.
* What does the Guillermo cough with the smoke mean?! It might have just been his breath in the cold, but it really looked like a bit of smoke or steam escaped him upon seeing his master naked (and with the djinn-dick). He still protected his Master though, even with the surprise, and that tending behavior was sweet. **UPDATE: I don’t watch with subtitles, so I missed the fact that Guillermo said “Oh my God” and then he coughed some smoke. That’s so perfect!**
* The jalopy lives and it looked great! But the best part of the parade was seeing Guillermo being so cute and happy. Yes, he’s owning his identity, but he also knows that Nandor will literally go to space for him!
* And as for that end credits scene…Nonononononononononononononono
#what a rollercoaster#wwdits s5 spoilers#wwdits s5#wwdits s5e3#I am overall LOVING this season so far#I do hope Nadja’s plot gets more grounded#but the Nandor-Guillermo-Laszlo dynamic is ON POINT#this was THE most Nandermo-heavy episode EVER!#THANK YOU YANA!!!!#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#what we do in the shadows fx#wwdits fx#nandermo
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This is my first time posting one of the fan fic ideas! Now, do mind the spelling errors as well as grammatical errors That’s due to my dyslexia so yeah, enjoy!
So this is a what if of what if Celeste did get turned into a vampire
The documentary crew carmas pans over to two twin children with the left side corner titled "Celeste former masters " and beginning their talking head.
"Yes, usually newly turned vampires go through what we call 'familar crazy. ' where the fledgling go on and about and adopt so so many familiars because they find them so helpful and well relatable and they were human not just a moment ago, but new vampires don't understand the massive responablity of having an familar. Like the feeding, the cleaning, resisting the urge to eat their plump red faces, and many more irritable things they need. so we told her that she could only keep two of the familiars that she collected, and rest either go to a shelter or back their old master. Celeste was very stern about the shelters being one of a "no kill." Nature well, fine, we gave in to that stupid notion. Although the two she chose are abosultely wonderful additions to the house, and if we're honest, we've grown some affection for them! Which is quite rare with familars be very enjoyable"
The scene shifts to Guillermo sitting on the end of a queen size bed, a massive upgrade to his closet space of a room. The title in bottom corner was now changed to "Guillermo De La Cruz: Celeste familar"
"So hey, yeah, this is all really. I have to say fast, but like amazing! I mean, of course, I miss well the old house, but what Celeste and the twin been providing me have been so much more the the past 10 years! They give me breaks, food, buy me clothes, and spend time with me. They even take me out with them to the night market! But I was on a leash and collar but they weird thing is I didn't actually mind it, I felt weirdly loved because they even git the collar custom made and they all praise me and dont seem disgusted with like affection I give, in fact they sometime come over to me and pet my head telling me!-" Guillermo pause and face seem freeze frame for a moment as the gear behind his eyes seem click something into place and look back carma with eyebrows crease together "I'm just being treated liked a spoiled pet aren't I."
The next shot shows Guillermo and Sam sitting on a couch. But the couch looks new and does not match the aesthetic of the other furniture in the house. It was more cushiony being ingulfed by pillows, the brims of the bottom, and the steps of the couch was golden with the carved in pattern of bats along the golden plating. Celeste walks into the room and starts cooing and gushing at the cat and human, scratching under sam chin while her other hand is petting Guillermo hair. With suprise, both the familiar looks very happy and even lean into the touch, with sam purring and Guillermo just with a big dorky smile. While this all happens, a tall broad silhouette with the shine of two dots of gold can be seen through the window.
-
Overall, pretty much Guillermo and Sam stay, and they are treated like pamper spoiled pets and honestly pretty good for both of them, but
Nandor comes in full jealously, seeing Guillermo giving away his affection so freely to theese complete stangers! Never once have he had guillermo hugging him like that. How could he! [Never mind the fact he rejects every time guillermo tries to initiate said affection]
But he set up meeting with the twins and trying discuss how should give him famikar back his rightful home and hiw rude was of Celeste just take a familar without asking. But the twins reject nandor's offer, saying how his familar have made Celeste so happy and pretty much like when somebody dog get taken another family and try get it back but parents making excuse keep it because their kid like the pet so much type of ordeal.
So obviously mean nandor has to kidnapped Guillermo back because he misses him.
#guillermo de la cruz#wwdits guillermo#wwdits#nandor#nandermo#guillermo x nandor#celeste the vampire#guillermo is just a spoiled pet is funny to me#sam the cat#what we do in the shadows#fan fiction#fanfic#fan fic ideas
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Something New, Something True - 1
[Synopsis: Newly married and newly pregnant? Ay, life is never simple for Isabela Madrigal...
I have been wanting to do a little collection of one shots for Isabela for the longest time and so I am finally getting around to doing that. It is going to be so much fun, exploring what married life is like for her while she also navigates her first pregnancy. I think every member of the family will be making an appearance in this, so I hope you guys stick around and enjoy!]
Julieta knew all three of her daughters like the back of her hand, it was one of the things she took pride in, so there was no doubt in her mind that there was something weighing on Isabela’s mind at the dinner table. She had been quiet and in her own little world since they sat down to eat, merely swirling her spoon around in her sopa rather than eating it and doing her best not to make eye contact with anyone, and Guillermo was no help at all. She had glanced over at him a number of times in an attempt to make out what was going on, but she’d been given nothing to work with. Of course, there was a chance that he was just as in the dark as to what was going on with his esposa as she was, but there was also a chance that he knew much more than he was saying.
Ay, who was she kidding?
Of course, he knew more about this.
Despite having only been married six short months, they had known one another for four years now since they met during the rebuild of their home. She deemed him a nuisance in the beginning, feeling all he did was get in the way and make more work for everyone with his clumsiness and inability to even hold a hammer up the right way, she told her so herself, but her feelings regarding him soon began to change. She found it hilarious when he tripped over something or tore into a packet of seeds with too much force, sending them everywhere, and it surprised her little when she came in one night and asked if she thought he could eat dinner with them.
Her little girl had fallen hard for him.
Why on earth it took them so long to get around to getting married, she had no idea, but she was pleased the two of them had let a good length of time go by before making such a choice. It would have been so easy for them to rush into things in the heat of the moment and make a mistake, one they may have come to regret in time, and so she felt they had gone about things in the correct way and she was proud of them for thinking so rationally about it. It was well worth the wait too, honestly, seeing her daughter so contenta and with someone who loved her for her, not only her talent and the family she came from, and reminded her of her worth daily.
It was the sound of a spoon being tapped lightly against the side of a glass that pulled her from her thoughts, causing her to glance the young couple’s way once again, and she was relieved to see Isa was smiling this time.
So, the reason for her being so quiet was a good thing after all.
She could breathe a little easier now.
Once he had the attention of the familia, Guillermo rose from his seat and moved to stand behind Isabela and she watched her daughter reach up and thread her fingers through his when he laid a hand upon her shoulder. “I, uh, I have no need to tell you that I am not the greatest with words because you all remember my wedding speech,” He brought his free hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it nervously, making her and the rest of the family chuckle. “But, not too long ago, Isa and I got some wonderful news and we wanted to tell you all at the time, but thought it would be better to keep it to ourselves for a little while just in case. I think both of us are too impatient to keep it secret anymore though, so we couldn’t be happier to tell you we’re having a baby.”
“A baby? You’re having a baby?” Mirabel gasped from the other end of the table.
Isabela nodded, laughing at her hermanita’s evident delight. “It should be here in late septiembre, early octubre if Gui and I have done our maths right, but neither of us are that good at it and so I wouldn’t quote us on it.”
“And how are you feeling?” Alma reached out and brushed her hair from her face, sitting next to her.
“Just a little tired,” Isabela shook her head. “I had an appointment with the doctor a couple of days ago and he said that things look excellente with me and the baby which is good. All I truly care about is it being healthy.”
Julieta was doing her best to listen to her familia while they asked Isa question after question and she answered them as best she could, but the second she heard they were expecting a baby she was overcome with emotion and all she could focus on was her little girl. It would have been a true understatement for her to say that she was thrilled at the announcement. Not only was she going to be an abuela, something she’d wanted for years, but her daughter was going to be a mamí and there were honestly no words for how delighted she was for her.
She could remember her going on and on as a child, only a little older than Antonio, about how she was going to be the best mother when she was older. Her dolls were her babies and she would treat them as such, always making sure they were comfortable and clean and well presented, and she never gave her a reason to doubt she would make a brilliant mamí to her own child when the time came. Of course, playing dolls and having a real baby to care for were not the same thing in the slightest, but she knew for a fact her daughter had it in her to be amazing. She was so warm, so nurturing and gentle, and those were all things that made up a good mother.
It would be foolish to think she would never make a mistake because she would, lots of them, and there were going to be moments when she felt she was failing and could do nothing right, but that was where she would come in. She would be there to pick her up when she was down, to hold her and make her see she was doing her best for her bebé and her little familia and that was all that mattered. It would be an emotional time for all involved, much like her own pregnancies had been, but there was no doubt in her mind that they would make it through together. It was the way their family had always handled things and that was never going to change.
Not as long as any of them were living.
-----
It was nearing midnight when she was alone in la cocina, a candle burning next to her as she prepared the last couple of things for breakfast in the morning, and she looked up at the gentle pat of bare feet against the tiles only to see Isa there in her nightgown. “Mi vida? What are you still doing up? I thought you went to bed ages ago!” She wiped her hands quickly on her apron and turned to her as she entered the dimly lit room, opening her arms to her with a sigh at the look on her face. It seemed as though she had the cares of the world on her shoulders. Wrapping her arms around her when she all but fell into her embrace, she gently kissed her temple.
“I’m scared, Mamá, I have so many questions and none of the answers to them,” Isabela said in a voice thick with emotion as she curled her hands into her dress and tucked her head into her neck. “I love Gui and I love this baby, but it all happened so quickly and I never expected it to. I thought he and I would be married for a year at least before starting a familia, just like Lolita and Mariano, that was the way it was planned in my head and I liked that plan! I think what worries me the most is not knowing what to do. I don’t know how to be a mamí, I don’t know how to nurse or change or settle a bebé, and I’m worried Guillermo will be disappointed.”
Julieta smiled into her hair. “Do you think us women are born knowing how to do any of those things?”
Isa tilted her head back against her shoulder and looked up at her, closing her eyes when she brushed her hair from her face. “I think you were sometimes. You just always made it seem so easy when we were growing up.”
“Gracias, mi princesa, that’s kind, but I had to learn to be a mamá the same way your abuela and every mujer that came before me did,” Julieta pointed out, easing her away from her and taking her hand so she could lead her over to the table and they could sit down together. “I had already had some practice when your hermanitas arrived, but when I had you I had no idea what I was doing. I was only a few years older than you are now when I gave birth to you and I had a lot to learn. I had to learn to nurse you and I had to learn to bathe and change you along with many other things. It was hard and I was so tired, I won’t lie, but I loved every moment of it.”
“Did Papí help a lot with me?” Isabela raised an eyebrow. “I remember him helping with Lu and Mira.”
“I think your papí helped me more with you than he did your hermanitas,” Julieta told her with a nod. “I was able to do more on my own when they were born because it was second nature to me by then, but with you it was all so new and I needed a lot of help and encouragement. He would get up with you in the middle of the night sometimes just so I could sleep. I remember he used to carry you down to the music room and play the piano until you settled. He was always reminding me of what a good mother I was too though. He helped me to stop caring what people thought of me and to stop listening when they would give me unwarranted advice.”
Isabela brought a hand to her stomach, smiling to herself as she glanced down at where her child was growing safely within her. “Guillermo is the happiest I have ever seen him,” She almost whispered when she looked up at her mother again with tears brimming in her eyes. “He talks to the baby all the time and he can’t help but put his hand on my stomach when he’s around me. He loves this baby so much and it isn’t even here yet, so I can’t even imagine how much more he’s going to love it when it’s born and he gets to hold it. He is going to be the best papí, I know that already, and he has already promised me that he’s going to help when I need it.”
Julieta reached out and laid a hand on her knee. “You need to stop worrying then and just enjoy this, amor.”
“I know and I’m going to try, Mamá, I really am.” Isabela assured her.
“Good,” Julieta leaned in to stamp a kiss onto her forehead. “Now, I think you should go and get some sleep.”
“Am I allowed to say that I think you should do the same?” Isabela asked with a smirk.
Julieta couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “I suppose I should. Why don’t we go up together?”
Wordlessly, sharing a smile, they rose from their chairs and tucked them in before she wrapped an arm around her daughter and let her cuddle up to her. She picked up a candle in order for them to be able to see as they left la cocina and walked through the courtyard, quietly making their way up the staircase when they came to it. Once they were outside her room, she took her arm from around her only to lift her hand to her cheek and brush her thumb against her skin. Her beautiful little girl. Her baby. She always made her so incredibly proud. “I want you to know you can always come to me if you ever need to talk,” She whispered. “I am always here.”
“I know, Mamá, and I love you for it.” Isabela smiled, kissing her on the cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You will. Buenos noches, mi vida.”
“Buenos noches.”
Turning around once she’d shared one last smile with her mother, Isabela opened the door to her room before walking inside and closing it carefully behind her. Casita turned up the lights ever so slightly so she could see where she was stepping as she made her way back to bed, but once she climbed in – careful not to knock her sleeping esposo – they turned back down and she hummed as she laid down next to him and got comfortable. Feeling relieved and as though she could get a little sleep now, she tucked a hand under her cheek and closed her eyes and that was when she felt Guillermo move closer to her beneath the covers and take her in his arms.
“You okay, querida?” He murmured in the darkness, clumsily kissing her neck as he brought her back against him and brought a hand to rest on her abdomen. “I could have sworn I heard you get up. Where did you go?”
“I needed to speak with mi mamá about something before she went to bed,” She laid a hand over his and felt her heart swell when he curled himself around her and held her a little tighter as she relaxed in his embrace. “I feel so afortunada to be getting to do this with you. Starting a familia, I mean. I was a little worried about it before, I admit it, but mamá really helped and I’m not worried about it as much anymore. I’m just so excited.”
“Good,” He buried his face in her neck. “You don’t need to be worried. You are going to be the best mamí…”
“I was more worried about letting you down than anything.” She sighed, lacing her fingers lazily with his.
He chuckled. “No, mi amor, you could never let me down.”
“You really mean that? Never?”
“Not ever.”
#julieta madrigal#agustin madrigal#isabela madrigal#luisa madrigal#mirabel madrigal#pepa madrigal#felix madrigal#dolores madrigal#camilo madrigal#antonio madrigal#bruno madrigal#abuela alma madrigal#alma madrigal#casita#la familia madrigal#the madrigal family#the madrigal triplets#madrigal family#encanto one shots#encanto fanfiction#encanto fanfic#encanto fic#encanto one shot collection#one shot collection#encanto post movie#family fluff#domestic fluff#pregnancy#romance
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Good Stuff: Wendell & Wild
or How to Stop Worrying and Flex with Spirit Again
It's 2009. We're at our most innocent and optimistic, Bone's final volume came out, and while TV animation was kinda ass at the time, the films we got were like banger after banger. I'm talking Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, the Ed, Edd 'n Eddy movie, El Superbeasto, Redline, Killer Bean Forever, Princess and the Frog, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and Coraline. The latter was not only the start of Laika as a major studio but would be the last film the GOAT Henry Selick would frontline for a long while. Most of us wouldn't think of him while stop-motion was carrying on until the current year when Selick would return announcing a new film of his own. Wendell & Wild marks both the return of the mastermind behind Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach and the reunion of Key & Peele notably since that film starring a gangster cat. For what I can consider a very Blacktober film from the looks of it, it is newfound kino or diminishing returns?
If we’ll get this out of the way, the story... might be hard to swallow. I’m not gonna sugarcoat, Kat as a protagonist is understandable but annoying. I can see where the incident involving her parents can snowball her into being an isolating punk type, but it was hard finding her likable because of how much she’s a... “buzzkill” is the best word I got. It hurts when I like almost every other character, Raul especially, over her. I dunno, it’s like when most you get from a character is them being frustrated and spiteful, it’s hard to connect, and for being the main focus then the story falters in the mind.
This goes for my other problem where the third act gets pretty jumbled and honestly feels like the one time I’ll say where they didn’t need a big action sequence. This could’ve been a more grounded affair like I cared about Kat facing her trauma and the big demon literally surfacing from hell to get our titular demon brothers than I did some ugly ass couple trying to build a prison. I think it would’ve worked better if it was just about Kat working with Wendell & Wild to get her parents back only to realize that it was a mistake like it never once crosses her mind that bringing them back is... kinda fucked up? The impact of the story overall feels lighter than, say, Coraline or Paranorman where everything built up before made the revelation stuck. Just saying, Kat’s final line in the movie really sprained the ankle at the finish line if you think about it.
The duo themselves never disappointed thankfully
But that’s all on the story, what about the visuals? Well... this feels like a definite return to form. Selick mentioned that stop-motion became too smooth over time and I can see where he was coming from with this. I love where it’s not just the puppetry, but the settings feel more of a blend between Rankin-Bass and Aardman. It knows when to make a moment smooth, but you can see they didn’t hide it being stop-motion. That’s not to say stop-motion between this and Coraline couldn’t recapture that older feeling (we just got Mad God this year) but it’s nice seeing Selick, and designer Pablo Lobato, among the many of the animation crew give us something familiar. I’m reminded of the movie Klaus where even if you understand, you can’t believe the lengths they went to trick you in a way. All this while being based on Selick’s original story, I feel like this was Henry looking to flex alongside Phil Tippett, the Daniels, and soon enough Guillermo Del Toro, in the creative flavors they cherished way back. The credits themselves tell me everyone had fun making this movie and I appreciates that the most.
Scenes like this tickled my animation loving bones
Overall, my time didn’t feel wasted regardless of my issues with the story. If there’s any takeaway it’s that Wendell & Wild is pretty emblematic of this year: you take the bad with the good. Hell any film that can have Death, the black godfathers of Punk music, gets points in my book easily. I say it’s a worthy film to watch a least once for Halloween or Turkey Day, y’know if you can work above my gripes with it. Peele already made kino with Nope but he and Selick made something genuinely special here. Just saying in terms of films, we still eating good this year.
7 Out of 10; Delightfully Devilish Feature
#wendell and wild#Wendell & Wild#animation#netflix#movies#key & peele#Henry Selick#reviews#Good Stuff
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About that Human Resources sequel
Human Resources was always supposed to get a sequel. Nothing too long or involved ‒ probably just a couple K's of epilogue-ish material, to share some ideas about how Nandor and Guillermo's relationship might progress from "well yes, we have had sex once" onwards to, y'know, wherever that goes.
So naturally, when I actually sat down to write the thing, it grew into something several hundred words longer than the original story. Honestly, I'm not even that surprised when this sort of thing happens anymore, and yet...
Anyway, said sequel is still another round of edits and some proper betaing short of being ready to actually post, but given that 1) I have been promising this damn thing long enough, and 2) it is close enough to done that I've already created the parent series for it on AO3 and everything, have a couple of preview scenes:
“As you know,” Nandor begins, sitting straight-backed in his customary chair like a monarch in the midst of a royal pronouncement, “on account of how it was all caught on film because you documentary people are now just leaving cameras around to record things in empty rooms for some reason – I and my familiar Guillermo had an encounter of an… intimate nature last night. On this very couch! And a bit up against the wall before that – but you know all this, you have all the footage and all that.
“Now, I am told that when this sort of thing happens between two people who live in the same house, and who have not done that sort of thing before in one of your documentary programs, it can be the cause of quite a lot of ex-cite-ment. So I would like to make it officially very clear that there is nothing for the getting excited about in this case! Yes, it happened – and a very good time was had, especially by Guillermo, because of course I am very good in bed – but it was mostly just a one-time kind of thing. We had our fun and all, but you must understand that it does not change anything between me and Guillermo. He is still the familiar, and I am still the vampire, even though now I have touched him on the peepee.”
“Oh my god, this changes everything,” says Guillermo, grinning in a helpless sort of way, like he couldn’t stop if he tried. “A week ago, I never even knew he was interested, and now – oh man. I guess I’d never even really thought this was possible, let alone that he might…” Sitting on his bed in his room, Guillermo is trying very hard to keep his voice to stage-whisper levels, without much success. “I know, I know – it was ‘just’ the one time, but some of the stuff he said to me, while we were… just, damn. This is serious!”
“Yes, certain things may have been said in the heat of the moment,” Nandor pronounces, “but I think we are all grown-ups here, and we understand that they do not necessarily mean anything. Maybe it will happen again sometime, since Guillermo has made us all aware that sex with familiars is an option which is back on the table for us vampires now. But it is never a good idea to let a familiar get too ‘familiar’ with that sort of special treatment, because then they get ideas above their station, and they start thinking they are too goodto clean anything that is not attached to you, and then you have to eat them and start all over breaking in a new familiar, and it is just so much trouble! No-one wants that, least of all Guillermo! So it was fun and all, but you should not go thinking it will be the sort of thing that is going anywhere.”
“…and this could just go anywhere!” says Guillermo, “Like, it’s still so new – it’s not like he’s…” he gives a nervous laugh, “not like we’ve even talked about it yet, but I just…” He glances briefly at his phone, and nearly does a double take, “I just need to get some sleep – I’ve got like four hours of daylight left before he’s… I mean, before I’m on duty again. Okay.” Looking over the camera, he asks, “Can we wrap this up?”
A brief montage shows Guillermo turning off lights and turning in for the night – or for the afternoon, as the case may be.
Come sunset, though, he’s up and ready again as usual – if a little baggy-eyed, having obviously been too excited to get much sleep. He gives the camera a slightly-nervous smile at Nandor’s door.
“Haven’t been this excited to go in here since I started this job,” he tells the camera. “But I don’t really know where he’s… you know, what he’s thinking this is, yet, so I’m just gonna play it cool – go in there and… do my job.” Guillermo self-consciously straightens his shirt, and then finally reaches for the doorknob.
Inside, he dutifully checks the curtains, and then takes his place by the coffin as Nandor wakes.
“Guillermo?” Nandor calls, voice a little muffled as he opens his coffin from within, “are you there?” When his eyes fall on his waiting familiar, however, something happens to them – Nandor freezes, mouth slightly agape.
“Good evening, Master,” says Guillermo, largely oblivious as he holds out a hand to help his master out of his coffin. “What can I… hey!”
He cuts off as Nandor bats the proffered hand away and grabs him by the front of the shirt, lifting him bodily off the floor with supernatural strength. Before Guillermo has time for more than a startled yelp, he’s been dragged right into the coffin, on top of Nandor – the lid somehow, improbably, managing to slam shut over the both of them. That one, brief yelp remains Guillermo’s only objection – the noise he makes next suggests no objections to anything now happening inside.
After a moment, the coffin itself begins faintly rocking from side to side.
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I realize I have not spoken much about the Jacobite I actually know so I am going to YELL about him here now in a very disorderly fashion bc he has recently left and i am actually kinda sad :((
ok so he's a catholic priest and he is mexican. if you know anything about us you will know that we are not the target audience for jacobite propaganda (whatever that may entail), so obv i was never suspecting any jacobite shenanigans from this guy nor from any other guy where i live
but THEN one night after mass i was hoppin back outside and on my way out i hear this man say one (1) thing that made me STOP IN MY TRACKS. he says "ustedes conocen los jacobitas, seguidores de jaime el segundo..." ("you all know of the jacobites, followers of james ii...")
idk what he was talking about and i didn't stay to listen. but that was all i needed. HE KNEW ABOUT JAMES THE GODDAMN SECOND AND HE KNEW ABOUT THE JACOBITES
so i go and tell @acrossthewavesoftime and we decide that i should talk to this guy and see what he knows. originally i was legit not gonna talk to him but i'll admit i was curious too. from there i talked to him many times, i would say like about 7-8 times, and he said plenty of stuffs that i told Radegonde (which was always hilarious). here are the highlights, all the spicy opinions!!
-the first time i spoke to him, i asked him his thoughts on James (under the guise that i needed the knowledge for school). he went on a bit of a rant that i dont remember much of, but i do remember he said that what James did was honorable (something like that i think??) and that giving up his kingdom for catholicism isn't something anybody would do. said he would be fine with making James a saint but that he isn't a jacobite (implying he knows that there are some still around)
-also in that first time, he called William an enemy of the bible (which Radegonde referenced on her blog once and it made me choke)
-for some reason i thought it was a brilliant idea to tell him of the green stockings kink. he made a face at it and said he would look into it. idk if he ever did bc he never mentioned it again............
-i asked him if he thought it was weird that spanish wikipedia has James as "Jacobo" rather than "Jaime" (which is more correct honestly) and he said it was very strange, implying that he has been on wikipedia
-on that note, he called James "Jaime" but didn't call William "Guillermo." understandably so bc it is very funny
-apparently he has been to France (and speaks French!!! wow!!) and that's how he learned of James. i can only imagine what he saw there
-i asked him his thoughts on Mary and it was really interesting bc it seems that he thinks of her as a victim! specifically he said that he couldn't blame her bc she was obeying what her husband wanted and claimed that even if she hadn't wanted to go depose James, William would have done it anyway
verdict: a jacobite even if he denies being one. i get the vibe that he does NOT like William......
so i think this guy's really interesting bc he's actually. not that bad of a priest?? like one time this dickhole at church was ranting things against trans people yknow the usual insults and my jacobite priest was sort of...side-eyeing him. he did not look too happy. an ally? something else? i have no idea. idk how openly trans i look but he was at least very much willing to talk to me.
and thats the thing that i'm actually sorta sad about, bc i feel like i got to know more about him than just the jacobite part of him. like this post is about his Very Fascinating Opinions but also sometimes i had a rough time at church and listening to him talk was funny so it made me feel better. he also genuinely said hello to me sometimes and would listen to MY opinions very attentively
he recently switched over to another church, which means i won't get to see him as much anymore if at all, but last sunday i saw him he said he hopes he gets to see me again
in conclusion. very strange thoughts but not a terrible priest by my standards! oddly i miss him now but it is what it is :(
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you shouldn't have mentioned museum curator! Aemond because now it is all that has been running around in my mind as I absolutely love the idea! I also would love to work in a museum once I get y master's degree (and indeed, sadly with humanities it's a constant anxiety, but hey... Aemond got landed on the right side of the road, so...).
Aemond is already attractive but him explaining to you how to set up the next installation? I'd faint.
also what can say about me remembering cute boys? my brain certain logged off after fifteen minutes of his discussing the countryside life in the at the start of the past century.
and yeah! I have to admit that I have a few friends in the STEM sector who are very nice and your friend honestly seems so cool! and in all honesty, I have mixed feeling for engineers because from personal experience they'll destroy something to understand how to use it, but they are some of the funniest people to be around!
but yeah... sadly a whole lot of friends made fun of my major (some even went like 'your degree isn't valid'), so yeah... Aemond being into the humanities would deal all that pain. plus, that man gives me utterly 'passionate and desperate' Romanticism vibes, like he did cry while reading 'Frankenstein' I JUST KNOW IT!
this is more personal ramble than anything else, but I had to come through and we should definitely brainstorm on museum curator! Aemond
(because what about cinema museum curator! Aemond? there is this beautiful museum in Italy, 'La Mole Antonelliana', which is the cinema museum per excellence and I have been there once and it's BEAUTIFUL! and it has a special ultra-luxurious theatre and movies get projected inside... I am just saying that Aemond would enjoy it!)
-🌗
My ultimate GOAL is to work at a museum!! I was the happiest in life when I went to do an intership abroad at an art gallery in Toronto. Being involved in the planning of workshops and engagement & outreach of the exhibitions was just the best and I miss it so much. SO OMG!! YES!! Aemond having to talk with the architects that are gonna install everything, and then the outreach and education team, and just, UGHHHH SO HOT TO IMAGINE FRIEND WHAT HAVE WE DONE!! We definitely need to brainstorm!! HIM AT THE OPENING RECEPTION OF THE EXHIBIT ALL FANCY!! 🥵 and since you mention him being into Romanticism, I bed he’d curate a kick ass freaking interesting and deep exhibit that showcases the parallels between Romantic literature, painting and sculpture, and how that transcends in film.
Also love the idea of him being a film curator!!! That museum you mention sounds like actual heaven and my dream place to be. If I ever find myself in Italy I’m going there first thing!!! Where exactly in Italy is it?? The closest I’ve ever been to a place like that is TIFF in Toronto (again, while I was there during my internship). Ughhh that place became my church. It was perfect because I was feeling extra homesick, and there was a Mexican cinema festival going around for the month of april I think, curated by Guillermo del Toro. It was amazing, I went to every single screening, and right before I left Toronto, they opened the vaults of their archives to exhibit props from David Cronenberg movies. A highlight of MY LIFE. So I’m loving Aemond as a curator in a film museum 🤩 it aligns to all the other headcanons I’ve thrown around in this webbed site, and that we’ve discussed 🤩🤩🤩
Also re: stem friends. Yeah I had the worst time during high school because all of my ‘friends’ made fun of me for my choice of career, it was awful. Luckily I found amazing people when I was studying, and I can’t say I’m doing bad! I’ve got plenty of international exhibits under my belt, and was lucky to find a steady job. The people who made fun of me can’t say the same. So my mantra is just doing what you’re passionate about, and if you believe in it, and are disciplined, constant and dedicated, things will work out.
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Hey Sweetheart,
I’m so sorry something triggered you earlier. I’m glad I sent that last letter just in time then. Even if it may have only helped a little. I hope you’re able to sleep well tonight and get plenty of rest. Also, I hope waking up you feel better. I responded to your answers to the questions I asked and answered them too. Figured it would help you get to know me more.
1. I’ve been wanting to read a Stephen King novel for a while but I’m currently reading The Hollow Ones by Guillermo Del Toro and chuck Hogan. I love the show Twin Peaks! I was super unaware there was a book!!
2. That’s so cool you got to go ghost hunting with the cast of ghost hunters! I think ghost hunting is really cool and I definitely plan to do it at least once someday. My favorite memory is when I scared the shit out of a group of NFL players in a haunted maze when I was dressed as a vampire.
3. Picking at/biting your lips can count. As much as I love reading, whether it’s books or fanfics, I have a habit of my eyes skipping ahead on me and reading further ahead. I used to skip to the last page to read the last sentence but I haven’t done that in a few years.
4. Do you have an idea of what kind of book you would want to publish? I would love to finally write a movie script. I don’t care if it gets used or not. Just the idea of finally accomplishing that, would be amazing.
5. It’s terrible that people think it’s okay to yell at or berate wait staff and retail workers. I’m one of those people who go out of my way to stack up the plates and trash at the end of the table when I go to restaurants. The people who think it’s okay to cheat don’t deserve to be loved or be in relationships period. I hate how people don’t realize how easy it is to put in effort to make the relationship work.
6. Pancakes are hands down the best!
7. Vampires are really interesting. I’d definitely pick that one too
8. I have a family that’s so big I wouldn’t want to wish it on anyone. I’d honestly rather be in a small family
9. I never got to grow up in one place, not military. And honestly it really hurt my childhood.
10. Seeing yourself happy, being published, owning a home, and having a family are really great goals. I could definitely say the same for myself with the addition of being more well traveled.
11. My funniest experience involved me getting a C.A.T. scan. So the radiology tech asked if I ever had surgery to have anything removed or metal added in. Without missing a beat I said, “nope I’m still a whole person.” I’ve never heard someone laugh that hard in my entire life. I really must have caught her off guard with that one.
12. Eyes are what I notice first too. There’s so much you can tell about someone with how they express their emotions by their eyes. I also look at body language too. People can lie but their bodies tell the truth.
13. That’s a really good goal. I’ve been feeling nostalgic for the Christmases we had as kids. So I’m really trying to emulate that this year.
14. I’m going to be honest, I was super nervous but excited when I sent the first ask. I get that same feeling every time I hit submit. I’m enjoying getting to know you more.
Honestly if you ever need/want to vent about anything and everything I’m here for you. Just call out to me in a post and I’ll be there.
Song to go with this letter: Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys
-Your Secret Admirer
awww thank you, and thank you for providing those answers! if you want some Stephen King recs, my favorites of his are the stand, the dark tower series, the shining, and salem’s lot! the stand is massive, both editions, but I recommend the uncut version! it’s longer, but it includes everything that his publisher made him cut out to shorten the length of the original novel. as for twin peaks, there are actually three books! the secret history of twin peaks and the final dossier (don’t read that last one unless & until you’ve seen season 3!), and the secret diary of laura palmer. i recommend all three, if you’re a big fan of the show!
i love your favorite memories and other things as well! as for what book i wanna publish, im currently slowly working on a horror novel right now! I’d like to try & get it published someday, if I ever get it done and ready. what about your movie script?
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Hiya friend! I want to assure you that the canon-compliantness of fic is definitely not a big thing in the wwdits fandom. We still read fic that is divergent from the S2 finale, for example. Lots of good fic came out of 3x08 that didn’t end up being canon compliant and people still ate it up. And still do! And some of the most popular wwdits fics out there are complete AUs that don’t fic into canon anywhere. So I really encourage you to write what you love and I promise we will all be falling over ourselves to read it no matter what goes on in S4.
On a separate note I’m soooo excited to read about Guillermo holding Nandor 🥺 The soulbond fic also sounds right up my alley
That's good to know! I actively avoid reading other fic in fandoms I write for, so I don't really know what wwdits's fic landscape is like. I don't typically go in for full AUs (though I did once write a flower shop AU out of spite lmao) because I usually like writing in the basic setting that canon gives us, but I've been known to fuck around a little bit with the canon setting. (See: soulmate AUs, etc.)
Honestly, I just love this canon so much that I never really wanted to go against it, y'know? But I also love the ideas that I've been thinking about... It's good to know that people will still read them even if it goes against canon.
And I'm excited to write Nandor getting held!!! That dumbass needs it! He's so used to sex and so unused to intimacy and I want both him and Guillermo to learn that those two things can go hand-in-hand! Bro, imma emotionally fulfill you so hard!
The soulbond fic is technically a "slayers can't be turned by traditional methods" AU, but let's just say that some untraditional methods are utilized. lmao
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So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.
The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class. I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.
I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.
Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.
10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.
The Parents
From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.
Or while it was still bleeding.
If she was into that.
Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.
Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.
And he always gets his due.
He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.
Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~
Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.
Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.
This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.
Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?
Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.
Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.
What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.
Mortesha would know.
The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.
Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.
The Children
Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.
Anyway.
Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!
Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.
Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.
I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace. I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.
Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.
She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.
Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.
Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.
That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.
Annnnyway. This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.
#long post#the addams family#Character Design#au#design challenge#i am incapable of doing a design challenge like a normal person#oh god i forgot the cut lol
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Horror Recs for Magnus Fans, Part the Second
Last time I did this I was assuming that anyone who was listening to a horror podcast already knew some horror, but I have since learned that this is not the case, so there are a few more classics in here, as well as some more of my faves.
For anyone and everyone who listens to TMA: Sarah Monette's Kyle Murchison Booth stories, many (though not all) of which are collected in The Bone Key. Queer information professional would very much like for ghosts and monsters to leave him alone, does not get what he wants; can't resist the impulse to help out people who are more fucked over than him anyway. I love Booth so much, he deserves much better things than he gets.
For Web stans: Blindsight by Peter Watts, a sci-fi horror novel about free will and consciousness. Lydia Nicholas named this as one of her favorite books in the first Assistant's Round Table; I respect her for it, but I read this once and it gave me an existential crisis. Highly recommended, but make sure you've got a palate cleanser.
For jonelias fans and/or fans of the Corruption: Candyman (1992). With bonus folklore & urban legend meta! Kissing bees into your (potential) lover's mouth in order to convince them to become a murderous spirit of vengeance just like you! "All you have left is my desire for you"!!! It's extremely sexy, is what I'm saying, in all the best ways. (Trigger warnings for violence against children and a fair amount of gore, in addition to the aforementioned bees.)
If you love the no-holds-barred social commentary of season five: The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle. No, I will not shut up about this book until absolutely everyone in the world has read it. It's short! You could read it in an afternoon! This is Lovecraft's "The Horror at Red Hook" from the point of view of a black musician and hustler who's hired to help out with the ritual, and it's incredible. (If you're enjoying Lovecraft Country, absolutely do not miss this.)
If you miss the standalone statements of season one and two: the works of the early 20th century cosmic horror and ghost story writers: M.R. James, Algernon Blackwood, Arthur Machen. Machen has a tendency to get pretty eugenics-y, and they're all either misogynistic or don't have women in their stories at all, but goddamn do they do atmosphere. ("The Magnus Archives" is named after James's "Count Magnus," Jonny's favorite M.R. James story.)
For Stranger fans and those who love unexplained mysteries: The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher, a Southern horror (not a Gothic) about a woman who goes to clean out her abusive grandmother's house to sell it only to find that there are things other than his wife that her grandfather was afraid of, and for good reason. Features hot competent neighbors, extremely practical reactions to terrible monsters, and a Very Good Dog (the dog does not die).
For Lonely bitches: "The Horla" by Guy de Maupassant, the story I use to describe my depression to people. That's a pretty good content warning, honestly.
If you loved the "Am I still human?" plotline: The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht, a grotesque little novella about monsters in (dysfunctional) love. I'm a bit iffy on the ending, but honestly landing the ending of horror is so tricky that I'll almost never discount something just because I'm iffy on the ending. The body horror and emotional repression throughout make up for it.
If you crave the supernatural adventure series starring Gerry Keay: The Sandman Slim series by Richard Kadrey - modern noir, so gritty you can feel it in your teeth, featuring all kinds of monsters, demons, curses, and narrowly-averted apocalypses. Not as misogynistic as noir can get, but it is noir so there's definitely a bit of that (but definitely not as misogynistic as Jim Butcher). Trigger warnings all over the place; this is B-movie horror in book form.
For Distortion fans: The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson. Bears almost no resemblance to the Netflix series of the same name, or any of the movies based on it; this is a twisty psychological novel with a profoundly unreliable narrator and a lot of repressed queerness. Michael/Helen would be right at home in Hill House. (Content warning for suicidality.)
If you want your horror to make you cry: El Orfanado, directed by Guillermo del Toro; a family moves into a house that used to be an orphanage, that is, of course, haunted. This is a tremendous distillation of the way that horror movies are so often centered around women not being believed, so content warning for gaslighting (and for harm to children); I saw this movie once and entire scenes are embedded in my brain in full color. (Honestly you can't go wrong with any Guillermo del Toro movies; he's fantastic.)
If you want your horror to make you cry, but make it gay: In the Flesh, two seasons of a zombie TV show tragically cut short (yes, it ends on a cliffhanger, I’m sorry). Uses zombies as a metaphor for homophobia, but also includes actual queer people. Content warning for small-town-typical homophobia and tragic gays. Please come yell with me about Simon Monroe, I love him so much.
For Slaughter fans: The Shining by Stephen King - look, look, I know. He's not great. He needs an editor. The movie is all kinds of fucked up. But this book is one of the most raw, personal horror stories I've ever read, and it's got an excellent combination of supernatural influence and real-life mundane fear of addiction and personal weakness that really grabs you by the intestines. Again, an iffy ending, but it's worth it for the slow descent into paranoia and madness.
If you just want to try to find some authors to read: The Borderlands anthology series, paperbacks from the height of the 80s horror boom; there are so many different kinds of stories in here that I can pretty much guarantee you that you won't like some of them but you might well find something new to fall in love with. A lot of these writers are out of print but readily available at used bookstores or for pennies on Amazon.
As always, let me know if you liked any of these or if you have a specific need: it is no longer my job to recommend books and media to people but it is still my very favorite thing to do and I will be obnoxious about it forever
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Forgive, But First Fun - Nandor x f(vampire) reader
Summary: After getting left behind to fight off a pack of werewolves on your own, now mad at Nandor, you and Nadja have decided a little night out couldn’t hurt.
Warning: slight angst, fluff, fun times, and a tiny smut mention
Masterlist
Trudging angrily through the manors wooden doors, face stern and almost scary enough to put the fear of God into anyone. Your boots stomp into the large opening and onto the wooden floor boards as Gullimero, Nandor, and the documentary crew follow you in.
Your cloak is ripped and dirty as it lays in a pathetic black heap of cloth in Gullimero’s arms, your hair not looking any better, not to mention your face and arms that have various cuts paired with grass smudge marks adoring your skin. All in all you look like a hot mess.
“What the fuck happened to you lot? You’ve been gone all night.” Questions Laszlo as he walks into view from out of one of the hallways, his eyes scanning over a perfectly clean and handsome Nandor, then over to the dirty crew and disheveled Guillermo who’s got some leaves stuck to his hair.
“I don’t know.” You snap sarcastically, “How about you ask Mr. Dodgy-shit-stick over there.” Referring to Nandor who’s looking anywhere but you, keeping as silent as ever.
Gullimero looks between you and Nandor, then back at a confused Laszlo. “Oh, um they’re not speaking to each other right now.”
“And why the fuck not?”
Guillermo sighs before leaning towards Laszlo, “Nandor wanted to graffiti where the werewolves live and Y/N said he’d get caught and then Nandor said no I won’t and then he did.”
Laszlo raises a curious brow, “That’s it?”
“Oh, um....” Guillermo awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, suddenly pulling off a green leaf, “then they chased us to the park and when the pack closed in on us Nandor turned into a bat and left us behind so Y/N had to fight one of them off so we could escape and now we’re here.”
“Well that sounds rather exciting.”
“Not at the time.” Whispers Guillermo to no one in particular as he glances over at the camera.
“Huh,” Mutters Laszlo thoughtfully, scratching his beard as he thinks of how to help this situation, “well if you two dingbats aren’t talking to one another I believe Nadja needs you Y/N. Something about....well actually I’m not entirely sure.”
Perking up ever so slightly at this positive news, you cross your arms over your chest defiantly, “Well since someone does, I’ll be going then.” You grumble with a low growl at your Nandor who’s refusing to make eye contact while he stares frustrated at the floor.
Nodding in acknowledgment, Laszlo watches you stomp angrily up the steps before turning his head over to Nandor who’s now watching you leave with big sad eyes.
“Alright why’d you do it?” Interrogates Laszlo with a raised brow.
“Do whaaat?” Replies Nandor defensively, his once high and mighty aurora reappearing in an instant.
Rolling his eyes, Laszlo sets a hand on his hip sassily, “Well I sure as hell don’t want an angry Y/N wandering around this old place for the next however the fuck it takes you both to make up....in however fashion that may be. So I ask again, why’d you puss out and flee like a mangy opossum?”
Pursing his lips together in apprehensive embarrassment, Nandor mutters to himself before finally crossing his arms over his broad chest and sighing, “Because......I....I don’t know I panicked!” Exclaims the large vampire, causing Laszlo to start laughing. “Why are you laughing?”
Wiping a fake tear from his eye, Laszlo lets out a few more chuckles before finally composing himself, “My good man that is the second saddest thing I’ve ever heard. The first being when one of my many victims offered me one of their rare and exclusive Poki-muns card which I still have no idea what the fuck they were on about. Anyways, doesn’t matter, all I’ll tell is that you better make it up to her.”
“But she’s scary when she’s angryyy.” Whines Nandor with a frown.
“That’s all women my young pup, but since your lovely lady is a vampire she’s more dangerous.” He says while giving Nandor a kind pat on the back, “So uh, stay safe out there.” Adds Laszlo before turning and walking down the hallway leaving Nandor with his thoughts, Gullimero, and the documentary’s camera crew.
“What are you all looking at!” Snaps Nandor to the rest of the room.
——
“Oh my goodnessess that’s awful, my poor dark angel.” Soothes Nadja as you take a moment from your long and needed rant about the adventures in the park and Nandor’s cowardly stupidity. “That big hairy rhino doesn’t deserve you Y/N.” She reasons honestly, doing her best to make you feel better, knowing all to well the level of competent decision making skills of the other two vampires in the house.
“I know.” You mutter in agreement, your body tense and agitated as you pace back and forth in front of her as she sits in a chair, “Fucking beautiful idiot prick horse-fart of a husband. Urgghhh!” You proclaim loudly while throwing your hands into the air angrily, causing the furniture in the room to screech backwards across the old flooring at your outburst of vampiric energy. Nadja’s long obsidian hair blowing backwards as you do so while she keeps seated, unflinching.
Face softening, she gives you a sympathetic smile, “Oh my lovely fierce lioness, I know exactly what will make that sad little frown turn into a happy one.” Beams Nadja with an excited clap of her hands.
Hugging your sides, you let out a frustrated huff before giving your old friend a shrug, “What do you have in mind?”
——
“So we’re at the carnival!” Claps Nadja in delight as she smiles at the camera, “This will hopefully relieve Y/N’s pent up angers and keep her mind off of Nandor.....for now.” She adds a bit uncertainly.
“HA HA take that fuckers!” You shout joyfully from behind her, the camera panning over to you at the ball toss where you’ve been knocking down plastic bottles with a rubber ball. The stall owner cowering in the corner as he shields himself with a stuffed zebra.
The camera focuses back on Nadja, “I think it’s going really well so far.” She confirms with a convincing grin. “Relieving all that..uh....rage.”
After winning a stuffed snake taller then you and deciding to wear it as a strange fashionable scarf, you and Nadja are wandering the carnivals streets while people watching to pass the time.
“So that’s why I never walk on the roof after 3am when I’ve had homeless man’s blood.” Rambles Nadja as your thoughts about Nandor come trickling down into your brain and nose. Huh, strange, must be cause you’re still wearing a thin red scarf of his.
No, stop thinking about him.
“Good lesson learned then,” You add with the flash of a smile before nudging her shoulder gently, “hey you wanna watch me win you something cool?”
Perking up in an instant, Nadja smiles a devilish fangy grin as she stops to eye up the multiple game stalls, “Why I would be delighted my dear Y/N, how about....um, oooh I want that giant tropical fishy with the long whiskers over there.” Points Nadja as your eyes travel over to the game stall with the large prizes.
It’s a game that requires the individual to shoot an arrow directly on three different sized bullseye’s stationed at various heights. Smiling like an idiot, you nudge your vampiric acquaintance in agreement, the both of you quickly swaggering over to the carnival game and it’s plush flashy prizes just screaming to be won.
“Hello good sir, my skilled roommate Y/N here is going to win me that fish.” Beams Nadja proudly as the teenager jumps off his chair to greet the two of you.
He smells like weed but surprisingly looks decent all things considered, “Uh yeah alright, two bucks for three arrows, hit every target directly on the middle red mark and if you make it on the bonus poster on the far back wall then you’ll have a chance to win that fish, good luck.” Mumbles the kid unenthusiastically as you slide him the cash.
Picking up the shitty yet still functional carnival bow, you give Nadja a wink before fitting an arrow in the nock and pulling back, lining up the shot and releasing directly into the first target to the left. Smirking to yourself you quickly draw again, hitting your second mark just as intended. Pays to be a skilled archer huh.
“Damn that’s pretty good aim.” Nods the teen as he watches in awe as you fit another arrow, releasing and punching a hole in the middle of the third target.
Nadja claps in excitement from behind you, “Yes! Win me that colorful fat bitch my feisty lioness!”
Standing like a warrior ready for battle with your bow in hand and wind blowing in your face, the kid almost drops the arrow he hands you for the winning shot as he practically swoons.
“Get those scissors ready, that fish is mine.” You growl in determination while picturing Nandor’s head as the final target, drawing back, you let the arrow fly straight into the bonus target. Winning Nadja her giant fish plushy.
“Yessss!” Shouts Nadja in delight as you drop the bow onto the table like a bad bitch before eyeing up the kid with a raised brow, “We’ll be taking the fish now.”
Wide eyed he almost falls off his chair, “Wait um, that’s the last one...I didn’t think, uh, my boss doesn’t want me to give away those ones.” He stutters out.
“What!” Snaps Nadja, “Then why are they just hanging there? You lied to us you little shit!”
“I’m sorry.” He pleads apologetically, “That’s what my boss told me. And no one ever wins the big prizes anyway so I didn’t think...”
“Well your boss he can eat a big horse turd cause I’m taking that fish.” You growl before jumping up and unhooking the fish from its perch above your heads, handing it to a practically glowing with joy Nadja who immediately hugs the thing.
Sticking your tongue out at the teen, you and Nadja turn to leave before a boney hand is suddenly on your shoulder, twisting around in an agitated instant, your face is mere inches from the wide eyed boy as he attempts to look even a tad bit threatening.
“No.” Is the only thing that slips from your tongue before your hand shoves him back, his whole body going air bound into the back of the carnival tent while the kid lets out a panicked scream.
“Ooooh Y/N that was very sexy of you.” Smirks Nadja while wiggling her dark brows, “Too bad a certain cowardly lion wasn’t here to see it.”
Petting the stuffed toy snake around your neck absentmindedly, you smile back a fangy grin, “Yes. Too bad.”
Continuing on your late night stroll through the carnival you both pass by random strangers, families, elders, children, and lovers all minding their sweet business completely unawares to the dark supernatural world walking right past them.
Although you’re quite enjoying this time spent with your best friend in the whole wide world, a low dull feeling of emptiness can’t help but creep into your undead being the more you catch sight of new and old couples walking together.
Sensing your growing sadness, Nadja nudges your shoulder playfully to gain your distracted attention, “Hello in there my black rose, what is on your mind?”
Holding the snake close to your body, a small smile creeps its way onto your face knowing she’s looking out for you, though it’s gone soon enough, “Oh you know....uh....blood.” You mutter unenthusiastically, trying to keep your thoughts away from Nandor and how much you miss him right now.
“Blood is it? But we just fed before attending the carnival.” Inquires Nadja in confusion as she keeps a normal pace at your side while the two of you follow the sidewalk past various shops and restaurants. “What is actually plaguing your mind my dear one?” She wonders with a frown, not keen on seeing you upset and in a grey mood.
Biting your lip anxiously, though not hard enough to draw blood, you walk past a couple more people before your eyes catch the sight of a small black bat disappearing behind a corner building just up ahead.
Squinting your eyes, your nose suddenly catches the scent of someone very familiar, “Nandor?”
Turning her head to face you, Nadja’s brows furrow in puzzlement, “What? No my sweet hurricane, forget that mangy old bear he’s not important right now.” Urges Nadja as she looks forward, suddenly surprised to catch a glimpse of someone who looks a lot like Guillermo racing behind the same corner you saw the bat fly behind. “Okay um what the fuck? Did you see that too?”
Glancing at Nadja you nod before quickening your steps as she does the same, her skirts flowing as she tries to catch up with you, though you’re much faster and with lack of annoying dress material, “Wait! You’re too fast.” Yelps Nadja.
Ignoring her protests you book it down the sidewalk like a maniac, almost running into a jogger before skidding round the corner of the brick building and coming face to face with a wide eyed Guillermo who gasps in surprise. Nudging him to the side, your eyes immediately fall upon the nervous fangy grin of your Nandor.
He gives you a shy little wave before shuffling awkwardly in place, awaiting your rampage of verbal and possibly physical assault that he’s certain is in the near future.
Taking a deep breath, you cross your arms over your chest defensively, “Were you following me?”
“Um, well.....I might have been....but only to make sure you were okay.” Mutters Nandor honestly, eyes shifting from you to the ground nervously as he awaits your wrath.
Pursing your lips together in thought, you shake your head before taking off the stuffed toy snake and holding it firmly in your hands. With a low growl do you grasp the snake in your right hand and hold it back like you might swing at any moment.
“You’re a fucking nincompoop you know that right?” Slips from your mouth without an once of anger lacing your words, instead do you hand the snake to Gullimero as Nandor watches in puzzled fear.
Taking a swift step forward, you point a finger into his strong chest while looking sternly up at him, “Racing off and leaving me too fight that angry bitch all by myself, and now following me when I needed a break from you! Nandor....... you’re something else.” You add with a shake of your head.
“Yes I know, and I’m sorry my love.” Smiles Nandor with saddened eyes, “I promise to keep you save from now on and fight off any werewolf who tries to hurt you....even if I am scared.”
Taking a step back, you can’t help the smirk that forms onto your face at his sweet words of forgiveness and sincerity. You know how much he fears werewolves and that he fled the scene thinking you were planning on following too, not realizing that you might actually give a shit about Gullimero’s and the crew’s lives.
“Oh my dear puff dragon,” You declare softly with a small smile, reaching both hands out to grasp his own, “I forgive you.”
Nandor’s face breaks out into the biggest and happiest grin you’ve seen since his last birthday when he walked into your shared crypt only to find you naked and holding a bushel of red roses while seated seductively on his coffin.
“Oh that’s fantastic because I was really missing you.” Reveals Nandor with a gentle squeeze of your hands. “Laszlo and Guillermo can’t make me laugh nearly as much as you can, they’re honestly rather boring.” He says before leaning in closer to whisper, “and not very attractive to look at either.” Causing you to crack another grin and your undead heart to fill with butterflies.
Chuckling you reach up with one hand to pull his collar closer to you and a second later do your lips clash sweetly against one another in a heated moment of passion. He smiles into the kiss before moving to pull you in closer with both of his hands, one slipping low to cheekily pinch your round bottom.
Feeling him against you once again has to be the best sensation in the whole entirety of the world even if you’ve only been separated for a couple of hours. You absolutely love the way his fingers dig into your back and bum with an animalistic eagerness that’s slowly starting to drive you insane. Oh, the things he does to you.
Especially how his tongue slips into your mouth with ease while you tug at his hair long dark locks. “Y/N!” Suddenly shouts Nadja.
“Nandor!”
Begrudgingly pulling away, you turn around to face the confused lady vampire while Nandor hugs you from behind, happily smirking at her, knowing she can’t do anything to hurt him now. “Yes Nadja.” You answer.
With the fish plushy hung over her shoulder, her brows furrow in confusion, “What the fuck are you doing? I thought you were mad at him?”
“Yeah well, I was starting to really miss him and also I’m kind of horny now so.” You reply with a shrug as Nandor hugs you tighter, resting his bearded chin against your head while Nadja huffs in defeat.
“Alright. See you at home then.” Adds Nadja before turning towards Guillermo and shoving the giant carnival fish into his arms, “Hold this Gizmo I’m going home.” Then just like that she’s gone in a black wispy poof, flying away in bat form towards the vampire resistance on Staten Island.
“Okay then.” Mutters Gullimero as he looks up at the dark sky.
Feeling a wet kiss on the side of your face and neck you smile before turning around to face your dear husband, “Shall we take flight to seek out our bed chambers?” You speak slyly in a soft yet seductive voice.
“Yes.” Grins Nandor with a flash of lust and excitement before turning his attention over to Guillermo, “Hey Guillermo I’m leaving to make passionate love to my wife so don’t bother us or I will have a rat shit in your pillowcase. Okay?”
You giggle to yourself as Gullimero’s cheeks redden while he side eyes the camera, “Understood master. Have fun.” Squeaks out the loyal familiar as he stands there awkwardly with his hands full of two carnival prizes.
Nandor sneakily squeezes your bottom once more as he gives Gullimero a knowing smirk, “Oh, we will.” Then a second later you two are flying high above the city in bat form, ready to make love to your sweet Nandor for probably the twentieth time that week.
Down below the camera pans over to Gullimero as he blinks, “Well uh, I have these things now..” He says, holding up the fish, “and I am so not looking forward to cleaning up their mess.......again.”
#I love me some himbo vampire what can I say#nandor the relentless#what we do in the shadows#Nandor#Nandor x reader#nandor x you#nandor x y/n#wwdits#what we do in the shadows x reader#fanfiction#my fanfic
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wwdits season finale thots [Extended Edition]
1. "my nand- master" HBGHGFDJKGGLDSJGIFODH
2. when nandor put his hand on guillermos shoulder and GENTLY MASSAGED IT WHILE TALKING TO HIM. DID YALL SEE THAT?!??!?
3. "my sweet, sweet guillermo" "my poor dear thing" hhhhhhhhhh ur feelings are showing master
4. GUILLERMO IN HIS VEST........ AND THE HAIR.................. AND THE GLOVES................................... ITS LITERALLYY FAN SERVICE TARGETED AT ME SPECIFICALLY
5. the whole theme of "if they just TALKED ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS instead of RUNNING AWAY FROM THEM...." and nandor literally saying "YOU ARE ONE OF THE THINGS I NEED TO RUN AWAY FROM" like YEAH. YEAH
6.
7. "im not gonna be the last one in here all alone like a fucking loser" [guillermo looking at him like YOU DONT FUKCING HAVE TO!!!! IM RIGHT HERE!!!! TURN ME AND THEN FUCK ME LIKE?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME]
8. nadjas boobs
9. "yas queen"
10. "my late friend walt whitman said to me, "youd better put that away, Laszlo"" gfjhkgfhjkhgfhgjf
11.
laszlo jumping on nadja like this and her grabbing his ass???? bottom laszlo rights
12. THE FIGHT. THE FIGHT. THE FIGHT. GOD YES I LOVE WHEN GUILLERMO PUTS NANDOR IN HIS SPOT LIKE THAT
13. "master, your sword needs polishing" hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
14.
hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh god
15. i was fucking convinced he came up w the "test" thing just to put guillermo off his back and would immediately run off in secret, but the fact that he meant it and was LOOKING FORWARD TO IT?? the way he was SO DISAPPOINTED when guillermo didnt show up???? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
16. laszlo trying to sneak in the Hat fghfgdhfdghfhffghfg
17. god the. the domesticity of nandor and guillermo packing together and joking and hgnnnnngghghghhghghhgh im insane
18. the way everyones like, we should hug? lets not. What does it all mean
19. guillermo speaking spanish whenever hes in a happy/excited mood 🥺
20.
21. laszlo staying home to take care of Colin-baby 😭😭😭😭
22. i think by the first episode of s4 Colin will be back to a more comprehensible age, bc he obviously ages super fast, as shown in the original intro pic thats the crew in like 1920-something and colins full grown in it, despite the fact that hes supposed to be like a few years old at that point
23. i AM HONESTLY SO FUCKING RELIEVED THAT COLIN DIDNT ACTUALLY DIE. LIKE I GENUINELY FEEL ALMOST EUPHORIC ABT IT. I WOULDVE HATED IT IF THEY JUST DROPPED HIM OFF THE SHOW. THANK FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!
24. im not even mad at laszlo im just happy that colin is alive and that laszlo is taking his job as daddy so seriously. but also why the fuck is it so fucking hard to TALK ABOUT IT?? EVERY MOTHERFUCKER UP IN THIS BITCH IS ALLERGIC TO NORMAL COMMUNICATION AND LIKE, TALKING ABOUT THINGS
25. the fact that the nandermo honeymoon didnt happen is PAINFUL. but at the same time i know they needed a way to dangle vampirism at guillermo once again, and then take it away, but without nandor being the reason why it wouldnt happen.
26. i mean. can i just. talk abt. how nandor is suddenly like, hey fine ill turn u into a vampire bc i forgot how fucking sexy u are. and ill take u to my ANCESTRAL HOME COUNTRY to do it so we can share our soil. bc after the sexy ass homoerotic fight happened, he realized he DOESNT need to run away from Guillermo and his feelings abt him. everything that happened in this episode has been a huge leap towards canonized nandermo <3 im soooo fucking excited for s4, pissed off murderous guillermo, depressed lonely nandor (cause he misses guillermo and thinks he abandoned him), nandor 100000% realizing and accepting his Feelings in s4, daddy!laszlo taking care of baby colin, HELP
#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#this is a numbered list of my thoughts and Emotions while watching and rewatching the episode#it is long. and verbose. and i have no apologies
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THIS IS IT LADS. IT'S TIME TO MOURN.
I've been depressed all week.
At first, I thought this was gonna be like when Victorians would pose for photos with corpses so they would have pictures after they died but nah its somehow sadder.
The fact that Baron & Co. are in the portrait is honestly very sweet.
I repeat this again. Petty Guillermo's vibes are just off.
Okay! You didn't need to remove all of the Colin's in the opening man are ya tryna kill me?
Donal my man!
Random gaffer man has definitely either been fucked or been fed on by Donal. Just sayin.
Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh bro SVU slaps. I love Munch and since he left I can't watch it but man. I love SVU.
I am the Baron, I feast upon hate.
Nandor really has just had a lot this year. His entire reality has been shaken, he can't get a woman, and now the man whose name he can only remember because he has written it down and has it in his coat is dead. Not to mention, he crushed in said mans head. Hard times.
Guillermo presuming he was going with him is very Guillermo.
"My sweet, sweet Guillermo..."
4th wall breaking is excellent. Acknowledging the camera is great.
Fuck the United Kingdom-A resident of the United Kingdom.
I feel incredibly bad for Nadja. Poor qween.
I don't want the show to end but I would love if they went abroad for a vibe. Like for their characters.
"Eat, Pray Prey, Love"
Angy Guillermo.
Awwww family. Nadja can't deal.
Oh no. Is it tea? In this episode of What We Do In The Shadows? From Lazlo? It's more likely than you'd think.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Lazlo. My heart. Precious.
Lazlo changed his mind so easily.
Guillermo. For a second, you made it sound like you were gonna say something. You faked me once, don't do it again.
Bodyslam!
There is so much camera shaking.
Vampires like fighting and fucking. They know what they are doing.
Oh? A test, you say. Hmmmmmm...
Boy best friends trip! Boy best friends trip!
Awwwwwwwww. Guillermo wanted a hug. He was denied.
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE."
"Travelling the world with my Nand-Master."
I do like The Guide. Her accent is very appealing.
Colin Robinson. There is something going on, with Colin Robinson down there. Concern.
Lazlo is not going. Just a feeling.
I knew it. Well, not the kidnapping Guillermo bit. But, the leaving.
Is there gonna be a lil baby Colin?
Lil baby Colin! I fucking hate it. So much.
Okay I am very sad but honestly, I'm mostly satisfied. There is some things I don't vibe with, but I think that is the point of the episode.
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