#honestly had no idea how to make that post but been going back and forth on it anyway hdhd
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Arthur: Where's John do you think, Tom?
Tommy: Fuck knows
t.s. eliot, ii. a game of chess
the waste land
#to catharge i came -#peaky blinders#peakyblindersgifs#tvedit#tv#honestly had no idea how to make that post but been going back and forth on it anyway hdhd#one of my fave tommyarthur conversations but i say that about all of them so it's not very objective#it's so good though and makes me long for the better s4 that exists in my head
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Fictober23 Prompt: 26 - "Honestly, why would I care?"
Fandom: DPxDC
Rating: G
Warnings: -
A/N: A quick short one, inspired by a TikTok video I saw. Also as always... I am impatient in posting it.
"You're not my dad, yet."
"Get out of the spaceship. I am your dad, Phantom."
"You're not my dad."
"I am your Dad. The papers are already submitted! Get out of the spaceship."
"I am in a spaceship and you're not."
"I will literally drag you out of the damned space ship."
"No! I'm literally in a spaceship, you're not. You are not my dad."
"Literally get out of the spaceship. It's rude to others!"
"Tell me it's rude, I don't give a fuck!"
The bat kids exchanged amused glances. Red Robin and Spoiler had their phones out filming the entire situation. Red Hood was already downed, laughing to the point that his gut started hurting. Nightwing tried to be polite and not laugh but his shoulders were shaking. It was only a matter of time before he would break two. Black Bat was also shaking in silent laughter while Signal watched on, torn between horror, amusement and worry. Robin had his arms crossed watching stoically but for some reasons was sporting a proud smirk.
"Shouldn't you kids try to help Batman?" Superman next to them carefully asked his eyes going back and forth between Batman's kids and the ongoing situation before them.
"And ruin Phantom's mood? Do you have any idea how hard it was to even make him leave the lab? This is the first time in days that I am seeing him smile. Do not ruin his good mood." Robin countered, giving the hero a quick glare before eyes turning back to his father and phantom still arguing.
"Besides, this is the first time we get to see B arguing with a little kid like this. None of us managed to drive him to that point yet." Nightwing added grinning.
"How long has it been since B had submitted the adoption papers?" Red Robin asked, looking at them over his shoulder, his handy camera focused on the phantom who now had started to stick his tongue out and blow raspberries at Batman as an argument point.
"Two days." Signal answered easily, finally deciding to be just amused with the situation.
"Phantom! Get out now!"
"Over my already dead body!"
"And how long since B had actually slept?" Spoiler questioned next in between giggles.
"He's been working on Phantom's case without sleep for four days now." Nightwing grinned. "I will add Phantom claiming a spaceship to the methods on how to get B of the Batcomputer."
"Will you at least do something? You're the one that usually mainly uses it!" Superman turned towards Martian Manhunter only for the other hero to shrug.
"Honestly, why would I care? As Robin said, Phantom appears to enjoy his time quite a lot. And considering what he had gone through, who would I be to ruin it for such a young hero?"
"Phantom!"
"NO!"
"We gotta send this to Agent A later!" Jason gasped between his laughter. Nightwing's phone pinged with a message from Oracle and the eldest Bat kid showed it to the others with a bright grin.
"Already done. O is giving him a live feat of this on the Batcomputer."
#fictober23#danny fenton#dp x dc#danny phantom#dpxdc#crossover#dcxdp#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#fanfic#bruce wayne#Danny's space obsession#Danny is the youngest Wayne#Showing him the space ship had been Robins idea#Damian wants to be a good big brother#like Dick is to him#He is proud that Danny can bring their father to his limits like this#Possible Demon Twin AU#Bruce is sleep deprived#otherwise he might not be arguing like this with a child#or maybe he would have anyway#Danny is stubborn with his obsessions#short writing#quick writing
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What about otter!creator joining neuvilette in a meeting with wriothesley and sigewinne (I think that how you spell that) and sneaking back with them to the fortress of meropide. Cue fun times with sigewinne, tasting otter safe teas with wriothesley, and a very freaked out neuvilette and furina
I’m gonna write this as a Pt. 2 to the last Otter!Creator request, they just fit so perfectly! ૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა
Here’s the previous post!~ <3
As you and Wriothesley only continued to stare at each other, Neuvillette and Furina suddenly walk back in. Both of their faces were stern as they looked at the both of you. But mostly you.
“Monsieur Wriothesley? We apologize, but me and Monsieur Neuvillette have some… pressing matter to discuss. Treats, toys and pillows are inside their pack. Please care for our ˈbābē in this sudden absence. We will retrieve them in a matter of hours. Thank you.” And with that, Furina and Neuvillette left, leaving no time for objection.
You watched as your three friends dissipated, and the duo walked out. Wriothesley was only able to open his mouth before the door shut again. He closed his mouth and turned to you, who shrugged.
His eyebrows raised at you before he blinked once.
Then twice.
Then three times.
“Do you… do you like tea?”
₊‧ʚ・︵︵ ₊˚๑ ᕱᕱ ꒱✦ ₊ ︵︵・₊﹆ɞ‧₊
﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵
When Sigewinne entered Wriothesley’s office she was not expecting to see around thirty teacups (all empty) around The Creator in the form of an otter with Wriothesley sitting beside them with a wide grin of his face.
“Sigewinne! Meet Neuvillette’s and Lady Furina’s new little Otter friend! Did you hear of them?”
Oh yeah. Sigewinne had heard all about them. From all the melusine. Constant reminders of how cute they were compared to that fake on the throne. Constant stories of how adorable they acted compared to the awful actions of that monster who acted as their God.
To see them in the flesh was… a visceral feeling honestly. And being a melusine herself, she could feel the ethereal aura surrounding them. Shaking her head, she smiled at the older man and nodded.
“Oh I’ve heard some things here and there… have you been testing teas with them?” She mused, a joking smile on her face.
“… I didn’t know what else to do,” he admitted, “I didn’t want to make them do my paperwork..”
She giggled before getting an idea, and idea that had her face scrunched up in an even wider grin.
“What if… we try milkshakes?~”
“Sigewinne.” Was all he said.
As they began a small back and forth about the logistics of given an Otter a milkshake (Wriothesley was losing), you got up from your seat, took a small toy that looked vaguely like a melusine with the same colors are your fur, and just… waked out the office. Ready to explore.
“Uhm… Sigewinne?”
“It could very beneficial to their health for all we know-“
“Sigewinne?”
“I mean, have you even see an Otter consume a milkshake? I doubt their lactose intolerant-“
“Sigewinne.”
“And I… yeah?”
“Where did they go?”
“…. Uh oh.”
And you, at that exact moment, realized why you probably needed a map. Wondering around, you hadn’t realized how many levels you were going down.
You had been trying to get to the Coupon Cafeteria. How in the actually fuck had you ended up in the forbidden zone, in front of the gate that held the Primordial Sea.
What the fuck.
You hugged your melusine plushy closer as you stared at the plug.
And then an alarm sounded off.
God fucking damn it.
₊‧ʚ・︵︵ ₊˚๑ ᕱᕱ ꒱✦ ₊ ︵︵・₊﹆ɞ‧₊
﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵
Chlorinde had been having a nice, slow day.
Why did the fucking sea just have to choose to be angry today.
Why?
Today was a good day.
TodAY WAS A GOOD DAY-
She sighed and removed herself from the room she was currently in, speed walking towards the room where her Archon and Chief Justice were.
After knocking curtly and hearing a quiet “Come in”, she gently pressed open the door, yet spoke with urgency.
“My apologies for interrupting, but the Primordial Sea. It’s causing issues again.” Chlorinde stated.
The hydro duo looked at each other, they had been no where near done with the conversation, but their darling was in the Fortress of Meropide, where the ocean was being.. dealt with.
“Let us begin on your way then.” Neuvillette sighed.
₊‧ʚ・︵︵ ₊˚๑ ᕱᕱ ꒱✦ ₊ ︵︵・₊﹆ɞ‧₊
﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵
“Damnit damnit damnit damnit…” Thats all that was going through Wriothesley’s head at the moment. He had sent Sigewinne away to ensure her safety, all while running through the Fortress, all the while making sure to keep an eye out for a stray otter.
His mind flew through the possibilities: you could’ve been caught in machinery, you could’ve fallen off a ledge, you could’ve been snatched up by a criminal on a walk…
There were to many all to possibilities that would lead to him finding your body over you alive.
And if things were going the way they were with the Primordial Sea, then Furina and Neuvillette were going to be back a lot sooner than any of them expected.
And he was not ready for what the punishment would be.
But when he finally got down to the correct level?
He knew his punishment was going to be even worse than whatever they were initially going to do to him.
Because your little body sat in front of the loudly beeping seal before the Primordial Sea.
Fuck.
₊‧ʚ・︵︵ ₊˚๑ ᕱᕱ ꒱✦ ₊ ︵︵・₊﹆ɞ‧₊
﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵
Honest to god when you saw Wriothesley just appear out of thin air, you weren’t shocked. To be entirely honest you hoped that you’d get to see the whole fight against the Sea with Neuvillette! It was gonna be so cool!
You snuggled against your melusine plushy again as you watched Wriothesley rush towards you, gently pick you up, and move you out of the way.
“Alright, here you go… just have to make sure you don’t get in trouble…” He muttered as he at you down, out of the way. You mentally groaned at this but stayed put. You’d still be able to watch from here, you supposed…
And as soon as Wriothesley walked but over to the seal, Neuvillette, Furina and Chlorinde all deceased from you forgot where. You began clapping quietly and lied on top of your plush, snuggled up and ready for action.
You couldn’t really hear their voices, but then…
The seal exploded!
You watched with bated breath as they fought against the raging Sea, and your little tail began to wag at the sight.
Perhaps you had picked up a love for the show from Furina…
You watched the moves they pulled, the fights they put up, everything was glorious!
That was…
…Untill Neuvillette faltered.
You were confused.
Wasn’t he the one who stopped it in the cutscene? Why wasn’t he able to do it now? What was happening? Was the fear on his face? Why was there fear on his face? Why was everyone stepping back? Was…
Was Furina crying?
You jumped up from your hiding spot, rushing across the floor to the shock and fear of everyone.
Your top hat flew off and your melusine plush fell out of your mouth.
You heard shouts your way but you didn’t give a shit.
This stupid water wasn’t gonna hurt your new family.
Not on your watch.
…
You jumped into the water.
…
Over the rushing waves you could hear Furina scream.
…
It was…
Almost soothing…
As Furina screamed and cried the only thing on Neuvillette’s mind was if you were going to melt away.
If you were going to dissolve in those star studded waters.
‘It would be fitting.’ His mind mused. ‘For the brightest star in his life to flicker out surrounded by stars as well.’
Furina fell to her knees. Why?
Why?!
WHY?!
WHY DID EVERYTHING SHE WANT HAVE TO SLIP FROM HER FINGERS LIKE SAND ON THE OCEAN FLOOR?! SWEPT AWAY BY THE TIDE SHE COULDN’T CONTROL?! WHY WAS SHE FORCED WITH THE MISFORTUNE OF NEVER BEING ABLE TO HOLD ON TO ANYTHING OR ANYONE WHO MENT ANYTHING TO HER?! THIS WASN’T FAIR!
IT WAS NEVER FAIR!
HOW COULD THIS EVER POSSIBLY BE FAIR!?!?
And as Furina cried, Wriothesley looked on with a blank face on.
But his mind was a whirlpool of emotion.
Your sudden sacrifice… it reminded him slightly of his past. Of his teenage years.
Of the murder of his foster parents.
How he put his life on the line, knowing full well that it could be the end of him, as long as his siblings would be fine in the end. That he saved everyone he could.
That’s what you had just done, wasn’t it?
But Chlorinde…
She was shocked.
She watched as her Archon screamed and cried, as she slammed her fists into the ground below, as Neuvillette allowed a tear to fall from his eye (she had never seen him cry before now), as Wriothesley stared on, grief and longing in his eyes.
Just…
Just what had you meant to them?
What had you meant..?
What… could you have meant to her..?
…
The water was cold. Cool. And the stars shimmered in a way where they were bright, but not enough to hurt your eyes.
You couldn’t see outside the water. But it seemed bioluminescent. The brilliant blue lighting up your vision with the stars.
You swam gently. The current was slow.
You placed a paw on your bow tie. It swayed with the movement of your body.
You felt something deep inside you.
…
The Primordial Sea.
She called to you.
She cried that her creations feared her.
She just wanted to be whole again. While with her children.
But you told her that she couldn’t.
They were scared because they were their own people now.
They had become their own.
If she were to become whole again…
They would die.
She wept.
She did not want them to die.
But she had to become whole. They were still apart of her.
You told her that soon she would understand. Her tears would no longer be wept out of sorrow, but out of delight.
She didn’t understand. You told her she soon would.
Where you swam, she followed, like a duckling to her mother.
When you went up, she followed. When you went down, she followed. You went left, so did she. You go right, so does she.
You tell her she must go back.
She understands. But she warns that soon her sorrow will consume her once more and she will come again, wishing to have her children rejoin her.
and you tell her that you will be there to comfort her once more. And you will be there until she understands.
She understands.
…
Furina’s cry’s stop. She looks to the water, which has ceased its movement.
It begins to swirls around them, breaking off into pieces that form diffrent creatures of the sea.
From creatures of today, to long lost beasts of times forgotten. They swirl around and around the room, playing and tumbling over each other. The grin and make the happiest noises with one another.
Before diving back into the seal.
Only an Otter of starry water remained, and it dropped between the teary eyed Dragon Sovereign and the crying Archon, chittering and chirping. Picking up the top hat, it places it in hydro god’s hands.
It’s form splits. Duplicates perhaps..
And there you stood.
Their ˈbābē.
Her raison d’être, her preux chevalier, her ange.
His moitié, his raison de vivre, his trésor.
The only difference being your once wide black eyes,
We’re now filled with all the stars in the sky.
Furina gently placed the hat on your head as you walked up and nuzzled her face, licking away her tears.
You then walked back to the Primordial Sea Otter, missing Furina’s out reached hand.
You both nuzzled against each other, making chittering and chirping noises, rubbing up and down each other. After saying your goodbyes, the Primordial Otter waved, running and jumping into the seal, it closing up after her.
You rushed back to them, picking up your plush on the way, and got picked up by a still teary Neuvillette, whose breath was shaky and broken.
You gave him kisses as well, chirping up at him.
All those in the vault - after Furina had stood - crowded around Neuvillette.
Hands were ran through your fur and you took it all lovingly, understanding the scare you had just given them.
Looking towards his Lady, they had a mental conversation, before Neuvillette sighed.
“Chlorinde, Wriothesley. Me and Lady Furina have something to tell you.”
I think I went a wee bit overboard… but meh ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა! Hehe, I hope you guys enjoyed!~ And honestly, the Primordial Sea I have envisioned (personified) and she’s… kinda hot ngl- Darn my Mommy kink!- ૮꒰ ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ྀི꒱ა
#genshin impact sagau#sagau x reader#sagau#x reader#x gn reader#gn y/n#yander x reader#yandere x you#Otter!Creator#anon <3#asks <3
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Fresh Love Modeling 🍊
You never guessed that Chris Sturniolo would reach out for you to model his Fresh Love clothing brand. You had been following him on social media a while and definitely had a crush on him. What you didn’t know is that when Chris had seen your modeling portfolio he started crushing too. The two of you end up alone in his dressing room together after the photoshoot and things heat up.
chris sturniolo x fem! reader
entirely in Chris’s POV
warnings: cursing, flirty and smuttyyyyy
author’s note: writing this completely sleep deprived :) did not proofread lolz
I want to sit on his lap so bad in this pic
My Fresh Love brand is super important to me and I am so grateful that it has grown in popularity thanks to my fans. I want to grow this brand and reach out to creators and artists outside of the fandom in hopes that eventually Fresh Love Clothing can be sold in stores nationwide. A big part of Fresh Love, and any clothing brand, is the marketing which I take very seriously. I always want to have a diverse group of models, but ultimately they also should be attractive and have a cool aesthetic to be the face of the brand. I had sent out a model casting call last month, and my friend Tril and I were going through all the applications. Tril truly saw my vision and we were usually on the same page when it came to models we thought would work well for the brand.
Today was definitely a “work day” in the house— Nick was editing our recent car vlog, Matt was brainstorming video ideas, and Tril and I sat on the couch on our laptops going through hundreds of model portfolios together. We had been scrolling through applications for nearly two hours and I was honestly bored out of my mind. Luckily, we found a handful of models we like, but I still felt like one was missing. There was a certain look, a certain vibe, that I was looking for and I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew I’d know the second I saw them.
“Hey take a look at this one. I recognize this girl… I think she follows us on insta or something?” Tril says passing me his laptop. Damn. This girl was beyond fine. I scrolled through her portfolio pictures, and I really liked her modeling style. She didn’t look mainstream, which I liked, but she had a really unique look. “Do you recognize her?” Tril said interrupting my thoughts.
“No. I’d definitely remember her if I had seen her before.” I said. I went to the top of her application page, her name was Y/N.
“I like her portfolio and I think she’s a good fit for the brand.” Tril says.
“Absolutely. I really like her. I’m going to accept her application right now.” I said sending her an acceptance sheet back with the photo shoot information.
***
I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. I couldn’t sleep. I always have trouble falling asleep because I’ll have a thousand creative ideas that I bounce back and forth in my head, but this time I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking of Y/N. Tril said she followed us, right? I grab my phone and open instagram and typed her name in the search bar, and her profile popped up. She was following Tril and I as well as my brothers, our group account, and our podcast account. Nice, she’s a fan! I went through her posts and God, she was stunning. I wanted to follow her, but I knew if fans saw that they’d get all sorts of crazy ideas and make assumptions so I decided I’d wait to follow her until the Fresh Love shoot would be posted so everyone knew who she was. I looked at some modeling shots she posted, laid back pictures with her friends, and I was unapologetically looking for any signs that she was dating anyone which from her profile she appeared to be single. I saw some of her swimsuit modeling shots she had done recently, and I zoomed in on all parts of her body. Her amazing body. She had these thick thighs that contoured perfectly with her cute ass. My thoughts wandered off, thinking of how badly I wanted those thighs wrapped around my head. I got hard at the thought of it. I continued to mindlessly stalk her instagram before I finally fell asleep… dreaming of her.
*** one month later ***
It was Fresh Love photoshoot day, or as I thought of it, the day I finally get to meet Y/N after crushing on her this past month. I got to the studio before any of the models were scheduled to arrive so I could talk with the photographers and mark out the spaces where I wanted to shoot. I get upstairs and see someone siting in a chair outside the photography studio. When they hear me approaching they look up, and my breath hitches in my throat, it was Y/N. My heart immediately started beating faster, but I knew I had to keep it cool both professionally and so I don’t utterly embarrass myself in front of her.
“Chris! Hey, I’m sorry I know the models aren’t supposed to be here for another hour. Honestly I was hoping to catch a moment alone with you before we shoot.” She says nervously with a big, beautiful smile on her face. She wanted to see me? Alone? I hadn’t realize I went silent for a moment while I was caught up in my thoughts until Y/N interrupted.
“Umm I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just such a huge fan of yours and your brothers, and I wanted to tell you that. Also to tell you I am so grateful and excited to be modeling for Fresh Love. I love your brand and own a few things from it already just from following you for a while now.” She says.
“Oh, no you didn’t scare me! Sorry, I guess I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone this early. I’m happy to hear you’re a fan, and thanks for supporting my brothers and I, it means a lot. I really liked your modeling application and I’ve been looking forward to shooting with you.” I replied. I looked and sounded collected on the outside, but on the inside I was definitely nervous. I’m usually super confident talking to girls, even ones that I like, but Y/N had me acting different. She gave me a sweet smile before we walked into the studio together.
The other models started showing up as I led them to their dressing rooms where their Fresh Love clothing was waiting for them to change into. I stood in front of the backdrop for the first set of pictures and saw as the models rounded the corner all dressed in Fresh Love. Y/N wore the emerald green sweat set, and damn she looked good. The bright color just worked so perfectly with her complexion and brought out the color in her beautiful eyes. Seeing my own brand on her body drove me crazy. Man, this chick has me on a leash.
As time went by the photographers took group shots of all the models together, and some individual shots of each of them. When it came time for Y/N individual shots she was a natural. Her poses were relaxed, but strong and confident at the same time. She really wore the brand well and I was looking forward to seeing the results. She wraps up her individual shots and starts walking over to me.
“So, how did I look?” She says giving me a flirtatious look.
“Really, really great. I was thinking maybe we can get some pictures of just us two together for the Fresh Love instagram.” I said.
“Sounds great!” She says with a smile. She takes a step closer to me and leans in slightly, “Should I go change?” She asks but this time quieter so only I could hear. She makes me so nervous.
“Y-yeah. There’s, um, there’s a pair of joggers and a t-shirt in your dressing room if you want to change into that for me.” I said stuttering.
“Of course, anything for you.” She says confidently flirting with me. I think she can tell she made me nervous, and she was taking advantage of it. That’s so hot.
***
This time I was wearing the black hoodie and jogger set while Y/N wore the gray joggers and blue t-shirt. I sat on the couch we were using for the shoot, and she comes out of her dressing room to join me. She looked really great. I smiled at her and moved over so she could sit on the couch next to me.
“I’m thinking for the first few poses we just sit here kinda relaxed, looking at the camera. Then we do some where you stand behind the couch leaning over it while I sit here in front of you.” I said.
“Yeah sounds good!.” She says, and with that we start posing for the camera. The photographer has us scotch closer together, and I drape my arm behind her on the top of the couch. It was difficult to keep my eyes on the camera because all I wanted to do in the moment was to look at her. She moves off the couch to position herself behind it. “Like this, Chris?” She asks.
I turn around and see her bent over, arms crossed on the back of the couch. Fuck, her ass looks nice bent over like this. “Yeah, looks great.” I smile at her. I turn back around and the camera continues to click. We move around slightly to get different angles. She moves one of her hands to rest on my shoulder. I feel her hand slide up the back of my neck as her fingertips gently play around with my hair. The tension was palpable. I sharply inhale, a chill moving down my spine, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my cool much longer.
“Okay how about we call that a wrap for today. Great job everyone thanks so much for being here.” I blurt out getting off the couch, shaking a few of the photographers hands, before I quickly run into my dressing room without turning back.
***
In the dressing room I can hear the photographers packing up their gear and leave. The other models had gone home for the day, and I wasn’t sure if Y/N had left yet either. I found my answer when I hear a slight knock at the door, “Chris?” She says faintly, “Can I come in?” I’m frozen, I don’t answer before she comes into the room still dressed in her Fresh Love fit. “Are you okay? You seemed kinda frantic towards the end there.” She asks sincerely. I seriously debated telling her I liked her, but I knew that wouldn’t be professional of me.
“Yeah, I just get nervous shooting sometimes.” I lied. Y/N scoffs a little.
“You, nervous? I’ve never been more nervous for a photoshoot before. Having THE Chris Sturniolo sitting inches away for me all day long is something I had only ever dreamed of.” She laughs. “You definitely made me nervous today. God, I’m sorry I sound like such a stupid fangirl right now.” She says looking down.
“I never would have thought you were nervous. You seemed super confident today.” I say.
“Maybe. I tried to be confident so I could impress you.”
“Impress me?” I say a little surprised. She looks up and nods her head. I stand up and approach her meeting her in the middle of the room, “You’ve impressed me plenty, pretty girl.” I’m unsure of where this sudden boldness came from, but I could tell Y/N liked it when her body relaxed, and I could see her whole demeanor change. She looked up at me with seductive eyes.
“I’m glad to hear that,” she runs her hand up my arm before resting it on my chest, “I’m sure I can impress you in other ways too.” Her eyes flash from mine down to my noticeable, growing erection, and then back up to my lips. I can’t keep it in any longer. I lean down and kiss her soft lips, her hand meets the side of my face and my lips part for her to deepen the kiss moving her tongue across mine. We step back and my back hits the wall when her lips move from mine down to my neck bitting and sucking ever so gently.
“Fuck.” I moan softly. I feel her smile into my neck, and she moves a hand down to gingerly palm my boner over my pants.
“I’ve been wanting to touch you like this all day.” She says breathlessly as she pulls away from my neck to look me in the eyes.
“Oh yeah? What else have you wanted to do princess?” I ask suggestively. She smiles, and with that she drops to her knees. She hooks her fingers in the band of my sweatpants before pulling them down to my knees. She places soft kisses on my dick through my underwear, and the slight contact made me groan.
“Eager, aren’t we?” She says as she begins to pull my underwear down. My rock hard dick springs up and hits my stomach and her eyes widen while her mouth parts. She looks up at me and I begin to wrap her hair in my hand holding it back for her while the other gripped the chair next to me as I brace myself. She plants tiny kisses on my thighs on either side of my dick, and the teasing had my cock twitching with every kiss.
“Please, Y/N, please stop teasing.” I sigh. She runs her tongue from the base of my cock on the underside of my dick to the tip where she licks the precum from the slit. She swirls her tongue around my head a few times before pulling away and spitting into her hand. She spreads the wetness on my length as she pumps me a few times before wrapping her lips around my head and pushing her head forward. I let out a moan when I feel my dick hit the back of her throat. She keeps one hand tight at the base of my cock, pumping and twisting it as she bobs her head up and down on it. I’m a whimpering mess. My grip tightens in her hair as I help move her head at a steady pace. Her hand lets go of my shaft as she moves her head all the way forward, taking my full length into her mouth gagging slightly. I look down to see her already looking up at me with tears forming in her eyes. I felt my dick twitch in her mouth as I was close to cumming, but I tugged her hair and pulled her off my length before I could do so.
I move the chair I had been grabbing onto with one hand as my other reached for her chin and guided her to stand.
“Sit.” I demanded. She obliged and sat in the chair as I got to my knees and started pulling the sweatpants off of her. I caress her thighs with my big hands before pulling her thong off and I stare at her dripping wet cunt.
“Did I make you this wet?” I ask, and all she can do is shake her head. “I want you to use your words pretty girl.”
“Yes.” She whines out. “You always make me this wet.”
“Always?” I question. “Do you think about me when you touch yourself?” I ask. She nods her head again.
“Yes.” She says.
“Do you use your fingers when you touch yourself, princess?”
“Yes” she says. My fingertips move agonizingly slow up and down her folds spreading the wetness around.
“And who’s fingers do you imagine are pumping inside of you when you’re touching yourself baby.”
“Yours Chris. Always yours.” She moans out. Without warning I shove two of my fingers deep into her cunt eliciting a sweet moan from her lips. I pump my fingers in and out of her at a fast pace causing her to grip the back of my head roughly, my hair tight in between her fingers. I kitty lick her clit and curl my fingers inside her.
“F-fuck Chris.” She moans out. I continue moving my fingers in and out of her while I lay my tongue flat licking up and down her clit, sucking on it for a few seconds at a time. She pants, trying to catch her breath as she breathes heavier.
“Chris. CHRIS— I’m gonna cum.” With that I immediately pull my fingers out of her and raise my head.
“Not yet, princess. I want you to cum all over my cock for me baby.” I wrap my arms under her thighs and lift her off of the seat carrying her over to the makeup vanity counter across the room. I place her down and she stands facing me.
She reaches for the hem of her shirt to take it off, and I abruptly stop her grabbing her wrist tightly.
“Leave it on princess. I want to watch myself fucking you while you wear my clothes.”
My hands reach her waist and turn her around roughly pushing down on her upper back to bend her over across the counter. I look in the mirror to see her flushed face and eyes blown with lust. I had never been so sex hungry before. I ripped my hoodie off, and began to align my dick at her entrance. I slid the head of my dick in between her folds getting it nice and wet before I pushed in slowly making me groan loudly. Y/N gasps as I enter her, not ready for my size. I bottom out and stand still, letting her adjust to my length. Suddenly, without warning she begins to lean forward and back moving herself on my cock.
“Please move, Chris.” She begged. I smiled at her in the mirror. I started moving in and out of her with slow, hard thrusts. Her walls were warm and tight around my cock. We moaned together as I kept the steady pace.
“Chris?” She says.
“What is it princess?” I look at her in the mirror, half of her now messy hair covering her flushed pink face. She adjusts her arms to grab the front of the countertop. She lifts her chest up slightly, and the FRESH on her shirt is now visible in the mirror.
“Fuck me. Harder.” She pleads, and that was all I needed to hear. I went absolutely feral. I grabbed her hair with one hand making sure to pull her up enough that I could see her Fresh Love shirt in the mirror. My other hand laid flat just above her ass, pushing down so I could balance myself as I relentlessly thrust in and out of her tight pussy.
“Fuck. Fuck, Y/N! You feel so good pretty girl.”
“Chris, I’m gonna cum…” She whines breathlessly.
“Good girl. I want you to cum all over my cock for me.” I say back. We make eye contact in the mirror and I feel her walls clench around me sending a pulsating sensation through my cock, and I knew I was close too. Her face scrunches and she repeatedly moans my name. I feel her cunt tighten and relax around me as she comes all over my cock, and we maintain eye contact as she does.
Seeing her face while she came on my dick was what I needed. My thrusts got harder and sloppier as I felt my dick twitch inside her.
“I’m gonna cum, Y/N! Oh, FUCK.” I moan loudly as I feel myself release my big load into her pussy, my cum coating her walls. I thrust a few more times riding out my high before pulling out seeing our orgasms drip out of her cunt. Y/N turns to face me, and tries to stand but fails as her knees wobble and she grabs the countertop as to not fall down. My hands grab her sides to help balance her.
“You’re amazing, princess.” I say to her. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” I place a gentle kiss on her lips before moving my hands to the bottom of her shirt pulling it up. She raises her arms up as I lift the Fresh Love tee over her head. I crouch down and gently begin wiping her clean with the t-shirt.
“Chris! Not the Fresh Love shirt!” Y/N says surprised and in a concerned tone of voice.
“Baby, it’s my brand. I can do whatever the fuck I want with it.” I smirk, earning a cute giggle from her.
**********
This was my first time writing smut and I think it’s kinda trash but lmk what your thoughts are.
- Kay 🖤
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#let’s trip tour#versus tour#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo smut
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The Show Must Go on Darling. Part 2: Wally x Parent GN Reader
@malamilkbeats made this artwork. I like it so much. I hope you like the story. Someone on here has been making boarders and I absolutely adore them and use them. I’ll reference them in another post. I’m now. Making Wally part blue.
You wake up from a jolt in your bed. Your daughter Zoey is bouncing up and down. “ Today we go to the studio! Today we go to the studio,” she squeals jumping up and down. You let out a chuckle and grab her tickling her causing her to grab her stomach. “Yea we are my little silly monkey. We going to have a wonderful day together,” you say laughing as you tickle her. She laughs and surrenders so you stop and she rushes to get dressed for today. You laugh and go the the closet. You have these billowy rainbow pants you been dying to wear but they weren’t work appropriate so you put them on with this nice loose long sleeve white shirt. You put an ascot on (it’s either in your hair as head band or pony tail or on your neck). You slip on some nice leather shoes you had. Comfy and head out to the kitchen where little Zoey was in her tie dye dress waiting. You hum and cook breakfast real quick. Just some eggs and toast and fix her a glass of apple juice. “Go ahead and eat and we will head on out ,” you say setting a plate in front of her biting into your toast. She quickly eats her food gulping it down super fast. You pat her back so she don’t choke. “I’m all done! Can we go ? Let’s go!!!!” She says excited putting dishes in sink running out to car. “Wait , I’m coming,” you laugh grabbing your keys chasing after .
Wally was rubbing his hands nervously. Ronald had made sure that the parent and the little girl were the only ones to show up today. He was pacing on the stage back and forth. The others were so confused about why he was pacing. “Hey Wally, are you ok? You are passing across the stage. You look like you are about to have a panic attack,” Julie says worried. “We just having a shooting today,” Sally says confused. He honestly didn’t want to say why. Not really sure what he was feeling. He just really liked how a parent loved their kid. He was just really excited about the idea of seeing you again. It felt really weird this new feeling. “You can do this Wally,” he says this to himself. He fixes up his hair and looks toward the window fidgeting when he sees the two walking in.
You were confused walking in seeing how y’all were alone . Zoey was so excited. They could get front row and be close up to the window to watch. “Come on. Come on. Let’s sit down (P/N). Please ? ,” she grabs your hand pulling you to the front and y’all sit down. You fix her hair gently and the show starts . This episode seemed to be about painting but you were freaked out cause it seemed like Wally was staring at you. But Zoey was enjoying the show. She watched everyone draw what they loved and they all put pictures and you were just happy Zoey was enjoying it. Wally thanks the viewers for watching and heads into Home. Zoey claps her hands. As you and her head to leave , Mr. Ronald stops by and starts talking. “Did y’all enjoy the show,” he asks. Zoey sets down her bag and starts aching all excited. She explains how she wants to paint and was so happy about the episode and her love of the puppets.
Wally sneaks off the stage and was in the room. He watches the people talk and sees the backpack. He sneaks over and gets over to the backpack. He unzips and climbs in. He really wanted to get to know them. The back pack was picked up and he was watching as they leave. He gives a thumbs up to Ronald as they leave and hides in the back pack. As they drive , he loved listening to your voice. He watches as y’all stopped to get burgers and such to go home. He really wants to see where y’all live. He was so comfortable listening to your voice. He fell asleep for the rest of the way .
Enjoy!!!!!!!!!
#wally darling#wally darling x reader#welcome home#welcome home fandom#welcome home wally#welcome home x reader#welcome home x y/n#wally darling x self insert#wally x y/n#wally x reader
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that damn gala: Jason todd x fem!reader
the graphic is not mine, found it on Pinterest, all credit goes to the author.
Summary: credit for the idea goes to @p4inis: Can someone write a fanfic of “wear whatever u want, I know how to fight” Jason x fem reader???? Like they’re going to a gala and reader can’t choose which dress she should wear and Jay is her biggest hype man.
hope you'll like it: )
A/N: this is part of my Cheshire!reader!verse. You can find another story of it here in the post: Cheshire cat. And there will be more coming for sure since I'm having a lot of fun writing this verse.
Warning: cursing, a bit of sexual innuendo, but nothing explicit, Jason being a warning of himself :D
„Please, remind me why did I even agree to this?”
“Because you truly had no other option?”
“I hate you.”
“We both know you don’t.”
“Really? Do we?” Y/N smirked. Dick Grayson was her longtime friend and it gave her one privilege no one else had. She was resistant to him charm. So when he asked her to come over the annual Wayne gala it took a lot more than a pretty please and a nice smile to actually convince her to do so. Unlike many girls, she hated having to get all dressed up, putting on make-up and heels and acting like someone different than she really was only to win over some potential investors. Honestly, for a long time she couldn’t understand why was it her business. That lasted until Bruce offered her a job, an old RD position of her late father. Of course, the numbers were tempting but the thing was finally made her say yes was the opportunity to work with the latest technology and to put her ideas into work. And use them on patrols later on. So she gave in.
And soon one thing led to another, when she was forced to get involved into those stupid galas. Dick hated them equally as much, but at least he would be accompanied by Babs and they definitely would keep each other entertained. Unlike her friends, Y/N was going to be there by herself since for obvious reasons her beloved anti-hero boyfriend could not attend. So, she would either join Tim in deep conversation concerning Wayne Enterprises, sulk in the corner with Damian scaring people away with only look or spend the night getting drunk from all the expensive alcohol. One way or another it was going to be a loooong night.
“Yeah, we do. Come on Y/N, please, I’m gonna need your help you know it.”
“My help? Dick you are making zero sense. You will have your girl to dance with, Tim to take the duties and Damian for a security system. Why do you need me?”
“Because out of everyone you just mentioned, you are the only person that is actually fun.”
“Should I tell Babs about what you just said?” the girl laughed and heard Dick do the same on the other side of the phone.
“Please don’t” he turned deadly serious a second later “but you know what I mean. We both have known every guest for years now. We know their behavior, their bad traits and can predict who, when and how will make a fool of themselves. We have our inside jokes. Come on, please…..”
“Fine, stop whining, it’s out of character. I’ll come…..
“I knew you will give in at some point.”
“shut up, Grayson. I’m not giving in. Firstly because you will owe me and you know I’m not lenient when someone is in debt with me. Secondly, Jay will not like it, so good luck with having to deal with him. And lastly, I still got my cat claws on, so don’t expect me to be an egg-sucker.”
“As for the debts, that something we’ve been back and forth with for years now, so nothing new. I can deal with my brother, and Tim will deal with toadying, he’s used to it after all.”
“I hate you, Dick.”
“I know Y/n. See you at 9. You need me to pick you? Since you are coming alone?”
“No, I’ll be fine. Cheshire will swing by earlier and change in the manor if that’s fine.”
“I’ll leave the window open. See you, Y/n.”
“See you, Dick.”
She disconnected the phone and rubbed her forehead in frustration. She really though she would get away this year, but she’s been keeping this foolish hope for the last five years, always with no desired result. She always came and frankly it was never even half as bad as she expected, not that Y/N would ever say it out loud. But now, she had to choose a dress to go in and that was the hard part.
***
“Please, tell me you’re not preparing for the gala.” Jason stood in the door, only half-dressed In his gear, watching his girlfriend hurrying-scurrying in front of her wardrobe wearing only a sport bra and a pair of leggings.
“I am…” she groaned
“Was it Grayson? Did he force you? Do you want me to talk to him?” he took a few steps closer and grabbed her hands calming her down a bit.
“Nah. It’s fine. It’s always like this. He said I should come, I object, he uses his last-year arguments and I pretend to fall for them. It’s kind of tradition now. I would hate to break it.” She shrugged
“Maybe I can make knew tradition of making Dick attend the party with a bruise or…..”
“Stop it, Jay!” Y/N punched his shoulder and he grinned “if I really didn’t want to come, believe me I wouldn’t. But it really is entertaining making quiet jokes about all those bigwigs with excessive self-esteem and watching Tim trying his best to not speak his mind. The only thing that sucks about it is that I have to go alone” she moved her hands up his arms to his neck, pulling him in and he immediately grabbed her waist and leaned his forehead on hers, swaying from side to side.
“We can have our little party here. Or you can come with me to the patrol.” He whispered
“Mhm, don’t try to play me. That offer is a trap on your side, Red Hood only works alone. If you don’t count two teammates. And he does not want or need anyone else. Let alone little troublesome vigilante that also works with the bats.”
“That little vigilante cat knows her ways around words. She can play two sides, doesn’t she?”
“Jay, come on. You will never let me go with you and I will never ask. Too much of a risk and distraction. But I’m up for that party for two idea later on….”
“Do you have anything specific in mind?” he whispered seductively and leaned in to kiss her, but she quickly pulled away.
“Maybe. Maybe not. That depends if someone will take me home after the gala tonight. I mean, I have a couple dresses to choose from and I could use man’s advice on what to wear. Even if I absolutely hate the idea of playing the bait for man’s money. And I hate getting dolled up. I’ll be much more comfortable with tee and sweatpants or my suit. But I don’t have much opportunities to look nice, so…..” she pecked Jason lips quickly and moved towards the open wardrobe “what do you think, boyfriend?”
“Babe” every word she just said stung him. He knew she would never betray or cheat on him, but the thought of all those creeps staring at her and getting dirty ideas made him want to tie her to bed and keep her in the sheets with him, reminding her who’s the one to always keep her high and satisfied. But they all had duties to take care of. So he settled on embracing her from behind and kissing her neck softly “you know you can wear whatever you want. You will look hotter than hell. And I know how to fight if anyone would like to steal you away.”
“Babs is the resident beauty not me. If anything Dick should be scared. I’m only …. Addition.”
“Addition?” Jay kissed her neck again hitting her soft spot and making her gasp “you’re the crown jewel, babe. I wish I could go with you and watch everyone getting so jealous of me having you all to myself….” his lips on her skin was sending goosebumps all over her body.
“Jace….” She whispered closing her eyes
“Yes, sweetheart?” his grip was now tighter and she loved it and hate it at the same time.
“Let go of me. Now. Cause if you don’t neither me nor you will leave this apartment tonight.”
“Would it be so bad?” he muttered against her shoulder blade but reluctantly released her. “you should wear the black and red one. You will break necks in it.”
“Bet it has nothing to do with the fact some particular vigilante got those colors as a signature.”
“Vigilante? Who? I don’t really recall anyone choosing that palette.” He smirked with the boyish grin and she could not stop herself from kissing him again.
***
It was 8 when they both left the apartment, using different exits and wishing each other good luck. No hugs and kisses since that would only make them waver once again. Red Hood was on patrol while Cheshire made her way towards Wayne Manor making sure no one was following her. Being truthful to his words, Dick left the window open and without any trouble she found herself in his room, where much to her surprise she found Babs getting ready.
“Hey there, girl.” She smiled removing her domino mask and meeting with red-head wide and sincere smile “what are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same question, kitten. Is my boyfriend cheating on me?”
“Oh, you caught me! I only came here to tell him our little affair was over since I cannot do this to my best friend.” Y/N put her hand on her heart “And arguably because my boyfriend was after him to hurt him, but that’s on the side.”
“It’s good to see you Y/N.” Barbara smiled again and came to hug the other girl “dick told me you were going to get ready here so I thought we might as well help each other in preparation.”
“Oh, thank god for your foresight. I have no idea how to drape this freaking dress to avoid putting my whole chest on display.
“I had my suspicions about that.”
“And I am absolutely hopeless with makeup and hairdo, so yes, please and thank you for any help you can give me.”
“Don’t worry, my friend. I will make you look perfect.”
***
Barbara really was a magician with women stuff. Only because of her skillful hands and endless ideas Y/N was now looking like a real lady, classy and gentle, even if most of the times she was just a girl next door. Her dress fit her perfectly and any risk of showing too much was eliminated by cleverly used veil, draped on girl’s shoulder. Her make-up was almost invisible since Y/N had pretty skin (luckily she got no bruises or cuts for the last week so there was no problem with that) and she refused using anything more than some concealer, liner and mascara sticking to the minimum. Unlike Babs she ditched the lipstick not wanting to look like Joker after having one drink and leaving stains on the glass and all over. But still, she felt odd, especially standing next to Babs with her perfect figure and proud posture. Cheshire was used to skin tight suit that was supposed to protect her and enable all the kicks and punches, but this? Evening gown that accented all her hated curves and imperfections made her feel exposed, not protected. And this was another tradition that was happening every single year even though after all this time she should already be used to it.
“good evening, ladies.” Dick emerged from behind and offered an arm to Barbara “Babs, Y/N.”
“Richard.” Babs smiled at her boyfriend
“Hello Grayson” Y/N smirked only to cover for her insecurity. In a second she would be left all alone like a prey while Dick and Babs will make rounds together.
“You look nervous kitten” Dick pointed out and Y/N scoffed
“Nervous? Of course I am. I’m nervous for the safety of everyone here. You know I got…..”
“claws, I know. And that is exactly why I took care of things.”
“I’m sorry you did what?” she nearly choked because of his words.
“There’s this one guy, really big fish in IT industry. We are trying to get him to share some ideas with WE. And since you are in a warlike mood, you will talk to him. Besides, you are the only one here that actually knows enough about the technology to cover the subject so…..”
“Are you insane?!” she yelled-whispered “did you even hear a word I told you about attending this gala. I wanted out of the radar not being put on the spotlight! What happened to…..” she paused when an elderly couple passed through and smiled charmingly “what happened to the inside jokes and making fun of people?!”
“I’m sorry Y/N, but it’s like I said. You’re the only one knowledgeable enough to succeed. Just this one guy, please, and then you are off the hook.”
“Where is Tim when you need him?” she hissed and reached for the nearest glass of champagne “I don’t think I can do it sober.”
“I will owe you twice” Dick pleaded
“That is tempting…..”
***
The guy assigned to Y/N was hot. Tall, dark haired and well-build, with perfect nose, lips and all face. His eyes glistened when he saw her approaching and in a real gentleman manner he turned towards the girl.
“You must be miss Y/N Y/L/N?” of course his smile was perfect as well and Y/N was almost blinded by the whiteness of his teeth
“I am” she smiled through gritted teeth “I suppose you’re the tech genius Mr. Blake?”
“ Please, call me Desmond. It would be so much easier to cut the distance this way”
“I see you are very direct Desmond. Does that match in the workplace?” he might have been a predator but she was the one who hold power over words, not the other way round.
“We are not in workplace, are we?”
“But we are supposed to discuss some RD matters.”
“Who said we can’t have a little fun while at it? This is a party after all.”
“High-class party, Mr. Blake and as a CEO you surely understand that.”
“Of course, I had nothing wrong on my mind. Tell me, miss Y/N, do you dance?”
“Only when I’m forced to” she muttered making sure he couldn’t hear her while taking another discreet sip of champagne
“I’m sorry?”
“I said I do, although I am not very good at it.”
“Maybe you just haven’t met the right partner. Let me guide you” he offered his hand and lead Y/N onto the dancefloor.
This was going to be a looooong night, she thought while noticing Dick and Babs moving to the music on her left. Dick put his thumb up while Barbara only smiled. This was already a torture. Hopefully, things were going better for Jay.
***
Two hours and three drinks later Desmond seemed a bit nicer than at the beginning. Y/N was not drunk, she was used to keep her senses alerted all the time so she poured away all the alcohol Desmond so wholeheartedly kept on bringing. He did not and that’s why they were now sitting on the secluded couch, far from the crowd, the man babbling about how pretty she looked and how much of his type she was.
“I think you had enough Mr. Blake” she put a hand on his when he reached towards another glass. Apparently that was a mistake since he turned her gaze towards her, his eyes widening.
“Tell me Y/N, why is a girl like you alone at the party? I mean, you are hot.” Oh, fuck. She knew where he was going now. “and everyone here is just ogling you, me included.” Fuck square since he moved closer, almost grabbing her hip.
“ You’re drunk” she said standing up “I think you should sober up. Alone.”
“Don’t you dare turning your back on me, you little bitch. Who do you think you are?”
If only he knew…..
“A woman who knows better than to argue with you. You work for your own reputation Mr. Blake and let me tell you, you are only embarrassing yourself right now. Maybe you should stop before some reporter takes a picture of you stumbling.”
“You think you are so high and mighty, huh? A strong, independent woman, working for Wayne? Acting like a whore to get some attention and you can’t even get a boyfriend?”
“Careful with words, now” she warned slowly turning into Cheshire
“Or what? What exactly will you do, huh? Cause I don’t think you will do a thing…..” he lunged forward and before she could react had her pressed onto the wall, his lips on hers “you are only good for one night stand. And you ask for it, wearing that dress, you little bitch. You only deserved to be fucked and forgotten.’ He was using the fact no one could see them in this place
“Get the fuck off me!!!” she yelled all her instincts kicking in when she pushed the man away and he stumbled back. Unfortunately, while doing so, he stepped onto the hem of her dress tearing it apart and leaving Y/N legs almost completely exposed. “Damn it.” She muttered turning red while the man started laughing like crazy which finally caught some attention and Dick immediately came running for rescue.
“What is going on here?”
“Your little wanton friend is finally dressed the way she should be from the beginning.” Blake snorted
“Mr Blake, I think you should leave….” Tim rushed from the other side of the ballroom scared that either his brother or his friend would kick the man’s ass and made even more of a scene. This was going to be a PR nightmare.
“Leave? Oh, no, no, no. Not before I have a little fun with your little rag doll, here.”
“Let me though.” Another voice interrupted the discussion and Y/N, Dick and Tim turned their gazes towards the side where it came from.
“You’ve got to be kidding me….” Dick whined
“Oh, hell no!” Tim screamed
“What the…..?” y/N said in surprise
“What. The fuck. You think. You are doing?”
“Jason…..” dick tried to step between his brother and Blake before it came to fisticuffs. All of a sudden the latter became much more sober than a second before.
“Get out of my way, Dickhead. This scumbag just humiliated my girlfriend. I will not let him get away with it.”
“I’m sorry but…..”
“You are not sorry.”
“You’re right. I’m not sorry and I can’t let you through. We are trying our best to avoid bloodbath here.”
“I don’t fucking care! He asked for it.”
“Jason.”
“Back off, replacement!”
“Jason.”
Only now he stopped in his tracks. Because of her voice. Her soft, calm voice. All this time she was standing there silently watching the scene, her dress torn apart , hair messy due to the scuffle, being her calm, collected self. Fuck, she was so beautiful, somewhere deep inside he could not blame this man for wanting her. Who wouldn’t wish for this beauty to be in his arms. But she was his and only his. Only he was allowed to hold her and kiss her and love her. No one fucking else. And this one here, were not only trying to force himself on her, but also called her a bitch and a whore. And that was something Jason Todd could not let go easily.
“Jason, please, let’s just go home.” She said calmly “come on, baby. Nothing happened, all right? He’s not worth your anger. He’s just sad, pathetic man with a lot of problems, apparently. I’m safe.”
“Baby” Jason came closer to her sneaking his arms around her pulling her close “he needs to be punished. He offended you. Let me take care of that…..”
“Nope. Not this time. Besides, as much as I appreciate your effort, I can take care of myself and this one is just beyond are level. So why bother when we can go home and have that little party for two you mentioned earlier?” she caressed his side softly looking straight into his eyes and he was slowly melting.
“See? I told she is a whore! You better watch out for her, she will cheat on you with the first man…..” Blake did not get to finish the sentence when Dick and Jason grabbed each of his arm and dragged him out the door.
“This will hit all the headlines tomorrow morning….” Tim stammered out, his face as white as a ghost
“You can just buyout all the press companies in Gotham” Y/N said, equally white, but not because of the press.
“Are you kidding me now Y/N?!”
“Come on, Tim. Not the first PR drama for WE. We can turn this around. If not as Y/N and Tim then as Cheshire and Red Robin. We’ve done this before, all right?”
“Fine.” He huffed “One problem at the time. Now, are you all right? He did not hurt you, did he?”
“He could never. I’m better and stronger than it seems in this dress, or rather half-dress now.”
“Good. Otherwise I would have to stand against my own rules and help dick and Jason beat the man.”
“Speaking of the devils, this is taking them too long. Do you think maybe we should check out what is going on?”
“Nothing is going on. The boys are making sure Blake would never come around again. And from what I can predict his company will go down soon.” Barbara chimed in
“If that’s coming from the Oracle, who are we to argue?”
“By the way, where is Damian? He was supposed to act like security. How the hell did Jason sneak in? Not that I’m complaining, but I’d rather dance with my boyfriend than see him fight again ….”
“I was not the security! I never wanted to be here in the first place! I was forced!”
“Who wasn’t?” Tim scoffed
“You’re good Y/N/N?” Damian asked turning towards the girl
“Yes! God! I’m fine, please stop asking me that. I’m just a bit ….. tired.”
“You can stay at the manor than. There is always a place for you.”
“Thanks Dami, but…..”
“She is not going to stay. I’m taking her home.” Jason came into the view again, his nose bleeding.
“What did you do Jace?”
"I told you I know how to fight for you."
“Where is Dick?” Barbara became alerted and both girls exchanged looks
“I’m here. I’m fine. It’s all taken care off.” The oldest Wayne was clutching his bleeding nose as well.
“Did you two have a fight? How unsurprising…..”
"Wait, you beat each other instead of that fucking Blake?" Damian frowned "Can I do it then? I need some action, this party is boring like hell."
"He's been taken care of as well. Probably won't come around ever again" Jason stated proudly.
"What did you do him? Can you descibe in details?" the youngest brother suddenly became much more energetic and interested.
“I’m out, I’m done” Tim turned around throwing his hands in the air “you are all on your own now. I;ve got to do some damage control. See you tomorrow, Y/N. Remember your promise.” He left and so did Damian leaving Jason, y/n, Babs and Dick alone.
“Why did you beat him Jace?”
“He was supposed to watch out for you!”
“I said I’m fine!”
“But who knows what could have happened?!”
“could have, would have, should have….. How about we stop with the possibilities that never came to life, hm? How about you calm down, Jace?”
“How can I calm down?! You could have been hurt!”
“Dick? Babs? I’m so terribly sorry for everything that just happened.” Y/N decided to stop paying attention to Jason for a while.
“As much as I hate to say it, it might have been a bit of my fault.” Dick admitted
“a bit?!”
“Shut up Jason. I’m not talking to you now!” Y/N hissed and he just stood there with open mouth but did not dare saying a word. “I think we should call it a night, do you agree, Babs. We can’t let boys kill each other, right? Someone has to be smart.”
“Yeah, that’s true. We can’t ever rely on them with life choices, can we?”
“Nope. But I guess that’s the Wayne charm. Talk to you tomorrow?”
“Sure y/n. I’ll let you know if dick’s coming after Jay to take revenge for the beating.”
“Ok. I’ll let you know if Jace is coming after Dick to avenge my honor” Y/N laughed and waved Babs and Dick goodbye before turning to Jason. “As for you….”
“Look, I did not mean to make a scene…..”
“Jay….”
“I saw you in danger and acted without thinking…..”
“Jason….”
“You know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you…..”
“Oh for god’s sake!” she moved forward and cut his babbling with a passionate kiss taking him by surprise and leaving a few spare seconds for his brain to react and started kissing her back, his hands travelling up her sides. “I love you, you idiot. And I’m not mad at you, really. That was kind of…. Hot.”
“Only kind of?” he smirked
“Yes, because you still think I cannot take care of myself. You really don’t have to put the guns out every time you think I’m in danger. Especially when I’m not.”
“but you still like me in my vigilante mode, don’t you?”
“I never said it.” She scoffed
“Sometimes, words are not needed. I can settle on sounds.” He smirked and she smacked his head becoming red.
“Why are you even here? What about patrol? What about….red’s matters?”
“It’s a quiet night. I was patrolling nearby by accident….
“by accident?” she raised an eyebrow
“And thought I would swing by. And you know the rest.”
‘You are a child, Jason. A big child. And we definitely have a lot to work on in that area. Are you going back on patrol?”
“I wasn’t planning on, but…..”
“Good. Cause you know, I might be a bit turned on and need someone to take care of that. Are you up for the challenge?”
“Let’s go upstairs.” He picked her up and carried her the stairs to his old room, bridal style.
“Wait, here?!” she squealed when he threw her onto the bed and climbed up hovering over her body.
“Do you think I can wait? Honey, I need you right now.” He pressed his lips onto her, delighting in the way she melted into him and started letting out those sweets sounds. “now we can start our party” he smirked moving down her body, removing the straps of her dress and taking care of each square centimeter of her body.
“Jason….” she moaned arching her back “come on, don’t tease…..”
“I’m taking my time with you, babe. You will have to deal with it….”
@pinksirensong @somest1 - let me know if anyone wants a tag in any of my stories
#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd angst#jason todd imagine#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x oc#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#red hood fanfiction#red hood imagine#red hood angst#red hood x reader#red hood x fem!reader#red hood#red hood x y/n#batboys x reader#angst#dc angst#jason todd fluff#red hood fluff#fluff#dc fluff#jason todd smut#red hood smut#red hood x reader smut
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Himbo Noodle Soup for the Soul
Pairing: squint and you can see potential hints of 501st x f!reader; - aka if someone wanted to make it smutty they def could. 🩷 …I’d totally read that too
Summary: Your sleazy boyfriend cheats on you and dumps you. But your favorite 501st himbos are coming to the rescue!
HELP IS ON THE WAY DEAR! HELP IS ON THE WAY!
But the boys can’t agree on a gift. So they all get you something different!
Warnings: FLUFF. It’s all fluff. Don’t come for me. I will not be accepting dental bills for tooth rot thx 😜Some talk of sexual transmitted infections, self loathing, self depreciation
Word Count: 2.8k
A/N: This fic absolutely DOES NOT take itself seriously lol. I honestly had no idea it would garner the support it has and frankly I had fun writing it. I love sappy fluff. It fuels my soul. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.
This fic was inspired by THIS post! 🩷💖
How could that sleemo do this? Not only did he cheat on you but then he broke up with you via hologram while you were working. A hologram, mind you, that said you should get tested for some STI he picked up from the slag he cheated with. You launched the handheld holoprojector across the supply closet, rage and heartbreak simultaneously fighting for dominance within your stomach. You had an implant that prevented pregnancy and diseases but that inconsiderate, two-timing, laserbrained, e chu ta didn’t know that. How could you be so stupid? You thought he was going to propose. You told everyone as much. This was humiliating. They’ll never let you live this down. They are still taking the piss out of Jesse for that girl from 79s. Obviously you were the problem. He wouldn’t have cheated if you were prettier, smarter, funnier…was it that weird sex thing he wanted to do that you weren’t comfortable with? Bet she did that with him. She was everything you weren’t apparently.
***********
You’d been skulking around the medbay for days now and the boys of the 501st had noticed. Kix realized your usual bubbly greetings you had for him when he entered the medbay had been replaced with a blank stare. You’d been distracted and making mistakes, very unlike you. Fives and Jesse saw the dark circles carved under your puffy red eyes as they passed you in the hallways. You’d stopped laughing at Hardcase’s jokes, now only staring off or giving a halfhearted hum in response. Tup and Dogma found you crying in a supply closet. When you finally stopped joining them for meals in the mess, they decided they needed answers.
“Did we do something? She won’t even look at us,” Fives moved his food back and forth sadly. “Yesterday Dogma and I accidentally bumped into her and she immediately turned and ran crying in the opposite direction. We didn’t even get to apologize,” Tup mumbled as Dogma rested his chin in his hand.
“She doesn’t even laugh at my jokes anymore,” Hardcase whined as he poked the pathetic excuse for breakfast on his tray.
“If you’re talking about who I think you’re talking about, she’s been practically catatonic in the medbay for the last week,” Kix hummed as he and Jesse squeezed in at the table with their brothers.
Rex, who had been silently listening as he worked on reports spoke up, “Her sleemo boyfriend cheated on her and then dumped her over hologram. And told her she needed to get tested for an STI.”
“Kriff…” Fives and Tup mumbled in unison wide eyed in disbelief.
“Hold on, the same guy who called us her…what was it…her ‘work himbos’?” Tup scrunched his nose irritably.
“Maker, what a shabuir. I always thought she deserved better, but this is a whole new low. He can say what he wants about us, I’ll be a work himbo. But he hurt our girl,” Fives growled as he clenched his fist around his fork.
Hardcase slammed his fist on the table, “Where is he? I’ll personally pay him a visit! I’ll show him what this himbo can do!”
“How did you find that out,” Kix leaned into Rex, “I work with her directly and she never confided any of that with me. Last thing she told me she thought he was going to propose.”
“I pulled rank. Told her I was worried about her. She crumbled into a blubbering mess and dumped it all on me and General Skywalker,” Rex shrugged and took a large swig of his caf.
“Cap! Permission to hunt the nerf herder down and put the fear of the 501st in ‘im!” Hardcase was already on his feet. He was itching for a fight and he was ready to show that worthless womprat that no one messed with one of his own.
“Stand down, Hardcase. I don’t need you getting locked up for some scummy nat-born,” Rex sighed, “Besides I may have already offered to put the fear of the Force in him with an unexpected visit and she was adamant that I let it go.”
“Well what can we do? We should help cheer her up,” Tup mused, swirling his cup of caf mindlessly. “Women like Hyellian musical noodles, right? Maybe we can do something with that?” Hardcase mumbled between chewing mouthfuls of food.
“Hardcase that’s the stupidest idea-” Jesse began but Fives interjected holding up his hand, “No. No, he has a point.”
Jesse whipped his head toward Fives, “What point? Fives, no!”
“Fives, yes!” Fives jumped to his feet with chaos twinkling in his eyes.
“Hardcase, yes!” Hardcase followed suit with unbridled elation scrawled into his expression.
“Shut up!” Resounded a synchronized admonishment from Jesse and Kix.
“Jesse is right, ‘Sorry your boyfriend cheated on you and might have given you some weird disease, here are some noodles?’ That is stupid. Women like flowers. She always complained that sleemo never bought her flowers anyway. Flowers say ‘He was a creep but you have us. And we buy your favorite flowers, unlike that walking STI.”
“Flowers? Boring and cliche, much like you my beloved vod.” Fives slung an affectionate arm around Kix who immediately shoved him off with a gruff, “Kriff off Fives. Not boring. Considerate. It shows that I listen to her. And women like being listened to more than Hardcase’s noodles, di’kut.”
“Nah, we should get wine. She loves wine,” Jesse kicked his feet up on the table eliciting a glare from Rex. “Remember a while back when I got totally wasted at 79s and she took me back to her place and took care of me? Once I’d thrown up everything in my stomach and then some, we got to talking and she told me about her favorite wines.”
“Jesse. Boots. Table.”
“Sorry, Captain.”
“Fine. She can drink the wine with the noodles we are getting her, right boys?” Hardcase was not giving up on the idea of noodles no matter what his brothers said. He knew the way to your heart was through your stomach.
“Wait. Isn’t this fraternizing? That’s completely against regulations!” Dogma pressed. A collective groan peppered with “Kriffing Dogma” and “You just had to say something” erupted from the table as all the men turned to look at Rex.
“I already got her something, so you won’t be hearing a word from me,” Rex never looked up from the reports he was poring over.
“Great! That’s settled then, wait… What did you get her, sir?” Fives narrowed his eyes at Rex and drummed his fingers on the table. “Now I can’t tell you that. It would take all the fun out of me watching you all fumble over each other trying to figure out what to get our sweet girl,” a mischievous smile crossed Rex’s lips as he stood up. “But I’ll be giving it to her tomorrow at 1700 hours. So you lot better get a move on. Good luck, gentlemen!” The boys heard Rex chuckling to himself as he walked away. “Good luck, indeed.” Fives’ eyes remained fixed on Rex until he was out of sight.
He sure as hell wasn’t going to let his CO best him at this, “We meet at her apartment tomorrow at 1700 sharp. We’ll see who the best gift giver is then!” After another round of bickering over who was going to find the best gift, the group dispersed. Fives and Tup opted to work with Hardcase, pooling their credits to buy the expensive noodles. Kix, Jesse, and Dogma opted to select their gifts independently.
**********
You were wrist deep in your second tub of ice cream of the evening as you binged holodramas and wallowed in your own self pity on your sofa when someone knocked on the door. You swore under your breath and wrapped your blanket tightly around you as you shuffled to answer.
The door slid open and there were your 501st lads bickering and shoving each other, each one toting an armful of gifts. They froze wide eyed and grinned sheepishly.
“Hey mesh’la! We are here to brighten your spirits!” Fives beamed proudly with an extraordinarily large takeout container and some flowers he had clearly picked from one of the garden boxes outside your apartment building in his hands. You were speechless looking from face to face positively bewildered. Suddenly you were self conscious about what a mess you were, eyes red and puffy, nose runny, hair untamed, potentially chocolate ice cream on your face and you were wearing someone’s blacks, though you couldn’t recall whose. “Hey! I was wondering where those blacks went!” Jesse chortled, “they look better on you cyar’ika.” Okay so they were Jesse’s.
“Boys, w-what is this?” You hugged yourself, an unconscious self soothing habit you’d acquired.
“We heard what happened. With uh…I guess he’s your ex now. We wanted to help you feel better,” Hardcase joyfully ripped the takeout box from Fives’ hands and thrust it toward you. “The noodles were my idea mesh’la! I heard the ladies love Hyellian musical noodles from that restaurant near the Senate! So we had to get you those! Fives, Tup, and I went in on them together for you! Also I got your favorite cookies.” His brilliant smile shining from his eyes even more brightly than his lips as he proudly placed the small bag on the takeout box. For the first time in a week your smile met your eyes, “Hardcase you’re too sweet! I do love noodles and I’ve been meaning to try these for a while now.” Hardcase gave Kix a playful shove, “Told you so, vod!”
Kix rolled his eyes before he held out an exquisite bouquet to you. “Kix, these are…these are my favorite flowers.” His warm smile met his shining amber eyes with a radiance that was unsurpassed even by the twin suns of Tatooine, “Yes, mesh’la. You mentioned once you’d always wanted flowers and that piece of bantha poodoo refused to buy them. But you’re worth all the flowers in the galaxy.”
You sniffed back tears as Jesse stepped toward you with your favorite wine, “Jesse how did you know…” He winked and gave his most charming smile, “You told me that night I stayed here. You know, the one where I got so smashed at 79s and you had to take care of me?” Your eyes widened, “You remembered that?” His only response was a soft kiss to your hand.
Tup leaned around him and handed you a small box the string it was tied with was intricately hand braided. “Tup this looks like the string bracelet I made you,” you tenderly toyed with it, smiling as the soft fibers tickled your fingertips. “I remembered when you showed me how to do it. You said you’d tried to teach that cockalorum once but he told you it was silly. Now we match. I always have mine with me. And those,” he gently tapped the box, “are just some of your favorite candy.”
Dogma shyly slipped you a folded sheet of flimsi. You placed the boxes, flowers, and wine on your end table by the door so you could unfold it. You gasped when you found it was a beautiful sketch of a beach sunset. Dogma flushed as he cleared his throat, “You said once you want to move to a planet with a quiet beach. I just,” his shy smile was one of the most endearing attributes and you loved seeing it now, “I hope this will suffice until you can do that.” “Dogma, it’s exquisite! You drew this? I can’t even imagine how much work this was.” You reached out and squeezed his hand, “I…you went through all that effort just for me?” He shrugged, squeezing you back before bashfully stepping aside.
Fives swaggered up, elbowing past his brothers holding out a messily wrapped package and the freshly plucked flowers. You couldn’t fight the urge to giggle at the sight, “Fives, are these the flowers from the planters outside? This one still has its roots attached.”
“Ahhh maybe? Just open the gift.” Your breath hitched in your throat at the holophoto inside. It was from the most recent deployment, in the medbay on the Resolute; Tup was in the hospital bed, still smiling regardless of his head being freshly wrapped from an injury. Kix was stoically fighting a smile in typical fashion. Hardcase donned his signature beaming grin as he flashed a thumbs up. Dogma was seated next to the bed and there you were. You were atop Fives’ shoulders as Jesse stood next to him, their faces pressed to your thighs. It was a moment you’d wanted to commit to memory forever. A brief glimpse of joy in a seemingly endless war. “These di’kut think I don’t listen, but I do. You were so happy there. I heard you say you wished you could stay like that with us forever. Now you can.” His honeyed voice dropped to a whisper, “You’re special to all of us, sweetheart.” The soft kiss he placed on your nose, a wordless promise that you’d always have a place with them.
Rex, who had been quietly observing, finally stepped through the huddled mass of clones crowded around you. He handed you a small box with a handwritten note. He placed his elbow against your door frame and propped his head on his fist, his gaze soft and affectionate as you read it.
Something to keep with you to remember how loved you are.
Always, Rex.
PS your work himbos never liked him anyway.
You opened the tiny box to see a pair of delicate earrings with little gems that were 501st blue. “Rex, these are incredible. But…these are…I mean. This is so much. I really don’t deserve these. Or any of this really,” your voice was soft, shaking in disbelief at your current situation.
“No? I’d disagree, cyare. In fact every single trooper standing here would disagree with that, wouldn’t you boys?” A chorus of “That’s right, Cap!” and “He’s right cyar’ika!” echoed through the empty hallway. “Besides,” Rex continued, “the ones you’re wearing now are from that scrawny little tit. Correct?” Your nod was barely visible as you stared in awe at the troopers before you. He reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear. “Thought I’d replace those unsightly things with something that reminds you of the real men in your life who actually care about you every time you look in the mirror.”
Your lip trembled looking at the overwhelming display of love you’d received from the boys. Your boys. It was then the dam broke and you could no longer hold back the tsunami of emotions and tears that had been pounding at you all week. “I…you…thank…” you couldn’t form words between the heavy hiccuping sobs. Rex moved in for an embrace. It felt as safe and warm as it had when you’d first confided in him. You pulled back and wiped your face on your sleeve. You inhaled deeply and though your breath was shaking still you were smiling when you looked at the anxious faces quietly watching you, “I can’t possibly eat all of these noodles AND the takeout I already ordered. You boys get in here and we can watch a holofilm while we dig into all the food.”
**********
You and your boys piled on and in front of your sofa until it was just a mess of limbs and laughter and poking and teasing. Once settled you had every trooper touching you in some form, even if it was just a hand resting on your arm, or leg. Rex claimed the spot to your right, his arm lazily resting along the back of the sofa. Kix squeezed in on your left, hands immediately beginning a soothing dance through your hair. Jesse squeezed in behind you, insisting on sharing the middle cushion with you. He positioned you snugly between his thighs. You stopped wiggling when he began drawing soft lazy shapes along your arms, shoulders, and neck with the pads of his fingers, gooseflesh prickled over you followed by a shiver running down your spine. Hardcase and Tup rested their elbows on your thighs and stroked the insides of your legs while ignoring Jesse’s protests of not wanting them hanging on him too. Fives scooted up to you as he sat on the floor, lifting your knees over his shoulders and resting his back against the couch. Dogma laid on the floor, head resting on a pillow between Tup and Fives. His hand reached behind him absently massaging your leg.
For the first time in a week you felt better. You felt loved. You were home. The food, wine, and holofilms lasted late into the night and one by one the clones who’d come to cheer you up had fallen asleep on and near you. Armor had been piled everywhere in your tiny apartment. The flowers were in vases and Dogma’s sketch was already framed. And when you made to switch out your earrings, Rex insisted on doing it for you. You reiterated you could do it, but he was so persistent you let him. “Much better,” he had crooned giving you a tender tap on the chin when he’d finished and chucked the old pair in the garbage.
Hardcase’s snoring was cutting through the silence like the Z-6 rotary blaster cannon he loved to use. Your legs had fallen asleep but you were unwilling to move and disturb any of them. Kix and Rex had made themselves comfortable on your lap, their feet kicked up on the arms of the sofa. Jesse shifted, wrapping his arms around you with a tender squeeze and a mumble that sounded a little like “darling little cyar’ika.” You nuzzled closer and allowed the warmth of their bodies affectionately piled around you to lull you to sleep.
Turns out that loser dumping you was the best thing to have ever happened to you because now you could have as many evenings like this as you wanted. You definitely could get used to himbo slumber parties.
Tag list babes 💕(plus everyone who was interested in this): @dystopicjumpsuit @deejadabbles @sunshinesdaydream @starrylothcat @wings-and-beskar @littlemissmanga
#star wars#anxiouspineapple99 writes#501st battalion#501st x reader#star wars the clone wars#the clone wars#star wars tcw#clone trooper kix#clone trooper tup#clone trooper hardcase#arc trooper fives#clone trooper jesse#clone captain rex#reader insert#fanfic#sw tcw fanfic#fanfiction writer#clone trooper fanfiction#the clone wars fanfiction#f!reader#501st x f!reader#501st legion#clone medic kix#this is absurd#and doesn’t take itself seriously#but it was fun to write#clone trooper dogma
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Here's my other problem with tumblr discourse: even when I make the context/intended interpretation of a post really explicit, people ignore this context and respond to it in like... for lack of a more charitable term, a discoursebrained way.
So a while ago I made a post about some ethical intuition I had, and at the top I put a huge disclaimer which said something to the effect of "this is just an expression of my feelings, it's not meant to be a philosophically airtight position, please don't take it as such", followed by a readmore and then the actual post. Why did I do that? Because I figured that if I didn't, people would nitpick it in various technical ways that missed the basic point. Lo and behold several people still did that, and when I replied basically restating the disclaimer, one of them said "oh I didn't even see that. Well I think if you post a half-baked thought online I retain the right to nitpick it".
I guess that's true. My blog is public. But the point is that I want to use my blog for certain things and not others, right, that's what I'm attempting to do. And people seem actively resistant to my attempts to guide the discussion on my blog in certain directions, which makes blogging less enjoyable. Of course some people will always do that, that fact doesn't bother me, but it feels like the irrelevant/point-missing discourse so often overshadows the meaningful discourse that I start to feel less of a desire to put in the effort.
Like, the point of issuing that disclaimer was to say, as explicitly as I could manage, "I am trying to have a discussion about feelings and intuitions here, I am aware there might be ways these intuitions are not fully consistent, but that is not the discussion I'm trying to have". But even so explicit an attempt to specify a conversation topic does not work; the discourse machine demands a certain kind of engagement and that is the engagement every post will get no matter what.
I don't want to put the person who missed my disclaimer on blast: it's honestly an error that anyone could make and on its own it's no big deal. If said person is reading this: you didn't do anything wrong and I am not mad at you, to be 100% clear.
It's not a one-off mistake that bothers me, it's the fact that this is how discussions on here so often go that putting in the effort to discuss things productively often feels wasted.
Another example of this that... if you go through my #society tag, you will see a lot of uncertainly in my phrasing. You will see me say a lot of "it seems like we should..." and "we should find some mechanism to..." and so on and so forth. Why? Because, as I've mentioned before, I've gotten a lot out of political discourse on here. When it's good, I actually find it quite good. But it's good when it has a constructive or collaborative tone, when I am bouncing ideas or thoughts back and forth with someone. Generally I am trying to invite this kind of discourse.
Sometimes, again, I say it really explicitly. I don't have them off the top of my head, but I know there are quite a lot of #society posts where I've said something quite straightforwardly to the effect of "here are some niche social/political issues I've been contemplating, does anyone have any ideas for how to respond to them". Obviously there's a spectrum in how explicit I am about this, but even when I'm really clear, most of the responses I get are still "discoursebrained", in the sense that they seem antagonistic and generally more interested in saying "X guys are cool and Y guys are lame" than in productively engaging with a set of ideas.
Even if you disagree with my claims or my premises, there is a way to state that which adds to a conversation instead of shutting down a line of inquiry. I am always trying to invite this type of mutually-productive discussion, and I so rarely achieve it.
Over the years my methods have changed. I come from a background of like, forums for specific nerd interests. Those places are plenty contentious, full of plenty of drama and disagreement. But ultimately, I always still felt that productive discussion was valued above destructive discussion; that because we were all united in a common goal of [doing our nerdy hobby], a comment where you build on someone's idea to say something useful to others or to introduce a new insight was generally valued above one where you just said "you're wrong for such and such reasons, hah!" or even "you're right for such and such reasons".
Coming from this background, I assumed this would also be the case on tumblr, and that I would not have to put in any extra effort to invite this sort of discourse. Alas, this was not true; even long and thought-out replies from respected discoursers often just amount to "here are the guys I agree with and here are the guys I disagree with, for such and such reasons". This is lame and boring and not appealing to me.
So over the years I've tried to be more and more explicit about what types of discussion I am trying to have, I've tried to tee up the sort of interactions I want as much as possible, but it hasn't really worked.
The problem is not strictly the quality or measuredness of the responses or their tone or anything like that. These are the things most people focus on when they critique the discourse, but I think they miss the point. The problem is that most responses don't seem to be intended to advance a mutually-productive discussion, they don't build on the base of what they are responding to, they just make various assertions and statements of allegiance in the vicinity of the material they are responding to and call it a day.
Maybe this is too harsh. I'm sure I do this too. And it's not always bad. Sometimes I use someone else's post openly as a jumping off point to elaborate my own ideas (although I try to be careful about this, and also make it somewhat clear that I am doing it), and this can be productive. I do actually want to hear people's ideas. It's not any single instance of these things I'm complaining about, it's just that discoursey responses seem to drown out all other types of discussion, even when you are really clear about what type of discussion you are trying to have.
So that's my complaint.
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A helping hand
warnings : (my writing probably, haha) none? just fluff and some good old hand kink, mention of blood
Honestly, I have no idea how to write, but hands of this man have been haunting me for long enough to make me post this.Also, English is not my first language, so if you find any mistake, please, correct me. Enjoy, fellow Mikaelson whores! <3
Also the most amazing @archangelslollipop made this edit you see above, thank you, bestie. She also made me post this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
You were reading a book when Elijah stormed into the room. Well, this was his study after all. You immediately closed it and put your full attention onto him. You never seen him like this. He was pacing back and forth, his chest heavily raising and falling. You were actually scared.
What could have happened to leave this normally very calm man looking like this?
He finally stopped, looking outside through the window, as he ran his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh. You noticed his jacket was missing, his tie wasn't straight and his shirt had few buttons undone.
Then your eyes landed on his hands.
His rolled up sleeves exposed his arms. You swallowed the lump in your throat. His arms and hands were always your weakness. You just couldn't stop looking at them for some reason. Well, for a very obvious reason, really. And the longer your eyes lingered on them, the more heat started spreading through your body. Your imagination was already running wild. You could almost feel those hands touching your body, fingers trailing down your throat and then closing around it. Not enough to kill you, of course, but enough to make you hot and bothered.
You closed your eyes and exhaled trying to clear your head.
"I think I should leave..." you mumbled and stood up from you seat.
"No!" Elijah exclaimed loudly.
You froze in your actions and looked at him in disbelief. You never heard him raise his voice like that, let alone while he was speaking with you.
"I apologize for my outburst,"he said as he looked at the ground, his voice much quieter, "Please, stay right where you are, if you do not need to go, that is."
You were eyeing him for a while. Why did he want you here? It's not like you could do much to help. Not that he would tell you what was going on, anyway.
But at the state that he was in, you didn't dare to ask.
"Alright."
You sat back on the chair.
He let out a loud breath and started pacing around the room again. That went for about 5 more minutes, his pace was still the same if not quicker, so you took all the courage that you could muster and tried to intervene.
"Elijah?"
It seemed as he was waiting for that, because he started to passionately elaborate what happened with anger in his voice.
"Nothing is going according to plan. Nothing. And now they -"
He stopped and let out a breath, his shoulders shaking, knuckles whitening as he clutched a corner of his working desk.
You gulped.
Those goddamn hands are going to be the end of you.
"Those pathetic existences think that they could lay a finger on you."
That brought you back out of your dirty imagination rather quickly. This whole ordeal was about you?
"You mean the De Martel siblings?"you asked as you watched him pour a glass of bourbon.
The Mikaelsons really have a bottle of an expensive alcohol in every room in their house. And boy, does the house have a lot of rooms.
"Yes. I should have ended the both of them centuries ago. Aurora is a complete lunatic and that narcissistic waste of space..."
He shook his head and downed the golden liquid in his glass with one gulp.
"But why?"
He turned to face you and narrowed his eyes.
"Pardon?"
You stood up and made one step towards him.
"Why me? Why Are they threatening to hurt me?"
He put his glass down and his mahagony eyes locked with yours.
"Because you're important to me."
Your breath hitches, your heart stops.
"To all of us," he adds quickly and turns away from you again.
Disappointment fills your entire body. How could you even for a second think that you mean something more to him? You should be grateful that the siblings care for you as a good friend. They're like your family, you basically live at their mansion now and you love all of them.
But with Elijah...
You just couldn't help but want something more. He was the definition of perfect in your head. How completely selfish and pathetic of you.
"And Tristan had the audacity to take your beautiful name into his disgusting mouth. I am going to destroy him."
You shivered at his cold tone. Suddenly, there was a loud shattering sound. Your head snapped in his direction and you saw that he broke the glass while he was holding it. You closed the distance between the two of you and carefully grabbed his hand by his wrist.
"Oh my god, Elijah," you whispered as you were looking at his palm that was full of shards of glass, blood trickling from the cuts.
"It's nothing, please, don't hurt yourself."
His voice was smooth, like velvet caressing your brain.
You quietly laughed and answered : "It's not nothing. You're literally bleeding and you're worried about me getting hurt?"
He chuckled in response.
"You know that my wounds heal much faster than yours."
You rolled your eyes.
"Yes, but not when you have glass still inside them. Let me get those out for you. Do you have a tweezers by any chance?"
He used his other hand to open one drawer and handed them to you. It scared you how organized he was.
You hopped on his desk and took his hand on your lap. The lamp was shining its light right where you needed it, so you could see even the little pieces glittering in it. You carefully took them out, one by one. Comfortable silence surrounded. You were trying not to focus on the fact that you were holding the hands that didn't let you sleep for the last week. Well, maybe even longer than that.
"I think there's none left," you said as you were turning his hand to see if you missed some.
"Thank you, my dear. I appreciate your help."
His voice was warm again, and you could almost feel his chest vibrating, that's how close you two were.
You just smiled and kept staring at your almost locked hands.
"Forgive me, it seems some of my blood got on your hands."
He handed you his hankerchief. You took it with your free hand. You didn't want to let go.
"Y/n?"
You looked up at him. Fuck it. You might not get any other chance to do this. And you only live once, and god knows for how long when De Martels are trying to get you and you're just a human.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have very good looking hands?"
You were shocked that you actually said it out loud. Elijah was taken aback too. To say the least. His eyes widened and his lips parted.
That's it. He's gonna call you a creep, kick you out of their house. This is the end of your fairytale.
"No, I believe noone has ever told me that," he smiled at you.
Your heart fluttered in your chest, you smiled back at him and brushed you thumb over the back of his hand. He closed his eyes and leaned closer to you. One hand staying on your lap, the other finding yours that was resting by your side, clutching the piece of cloth he gave you. You felt your fingers interlock and you closed your eyes too. You couldn’t believe that this was happening.
„Has anyone ever told you that you’re the most beautiful being inside and out that they have ever come across during a millenium?“ he whispered to your ear.
Goosebumps appeared on your skin. You didn’t dare to open your eyes. You felt like you’re in a dream and if you open them, it will all go away. Your heart was singing his song.
„No, I believe noone has ever told me that,“ you repeat his words, smile plastered on your face.
And than it happened. You smelled his cologne more intensely than ever before, that scent that was driving you crazy and brought peace to your soul at once. Your heart sank when he took his hand out of yours on your lap, but only for a second, until you felt it brush your cheek gently, almost carefully, like you were going to fade away in a second.
His warmth welcomed you as he leaned closer and closer. And then your lips touched. It was like fireworks went off in your brain. After a moment, he pulled away and your foreheads were touching.
It was almost an innocent kiss, a quick peck. But it said everything you both needed in that moment.
You burried your face into the crook of his neck and put your hands around it. His fingers played with the loose locks of your hair. You were in a blissfully unknown state.
„These hands won’t let them come near you. They won’t have a chance to even touch a hair on your precious head,“ he mumbled as he kissed the top of it.
You giggled.
„But I wouldn’t mind if they would touch me in the meantime,“your voice was muffled by his neck.
He took you by your shoulders and gently pulled you away from him, so he could see your face.
„Oh, is that so?“
He smiled, his eyes twinkled and he kissed you again. For much longer this time.
Much, much longer.
#elijah mikaelson#the mikaelsons#elijah mikaelson imagine#elijah mikaelson x reader#hand kink#the originals
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When It Comes To You || J.K × Reader
Summary: You've somehow gotten stuck with the most obnoxious (Minus boy genius Armin Arlert) group ever for a college class project. Eren Jeager, and Jean Kirstein. The latter of which seems to find a way to weasel his way into your life, making your plans for a quiet college experience fall away.
Author's Note: okay, like a year and some odd change in months later i'm finally posting this fic!! Honestly life kinda got in the way but we all know how it is. Anywayyyys, I hope yall enjoy! This is my first longer fic, so let me know what you guys think! Also super big shoutout to my buddies on discord for beta reading the first portion of this! <3
wk: 16.7k
Warnings: unedited, probably ooc characteristics who knows
"Would you two knock it off?" were your first words since the two bone-headed, annoying, loud-mouthed boys had started arguing.
Here you were, in an empty classroom, supposed to be working on a group project for at least an hour or two, and the /only/ thing that your group had done was bicker back and forth.
The first of the two boneheads, Eren Jeager, had spent the whole time insisting on his ideas, and his ideas alone, while the other, Jean Kirstein, had only been arguing that the former's ideas were stupid and that 'if anything, Eren should shut his trap and just do the grunt work.'
The blonde, Armin Arlert, was clearly just as done with them, but took a more quiet approach to trying to stop them. Any time he could interject, he tried to reason with the two, but of course neither would listen.
So, when you stood up, slamming your palms onto the table and shouting at them, all three of them quickly grew quiet. "We only have so much time to work on this project, and I am /not/ going to fail this project because you two idiots can't let go of your egos for more than two seconds!"
"Well, maybe if this asshole would-" Eren started, mostly keeping his voice at a low grumble, sounding like a scolded child.
Jean, cutting Eren's words short while crossing his arms across his chest, "Oh yeah, /I'm/ the asshole here…"
But with another of your glares sent to both of them, the two stopped once more.
"Maybe we should split up the work?" Armin was already writing out two plans, where you could make out his name and Eren, meaning that you were stuck with Jean.
Not that you wanted to be with either of them. You'd rather take Armin and just leave the other two to fail. But, as this was a group project, Professor Hange had made it clear that points were to be docked for any group that did not complete the assignment together.
You plopped back into your seat, sighing heavily. "Okay, we will work in two groups. Looks like Eren, you're going with Armin, and Jean, you're with me." You paused as Armin slid over the paper he had drafted up.
Glancing over it, you could see that he had given you and Jean a good amount of work, yet he had still given himself more. Part of you wanted to point it out, maybe even offer to take some of the load, but the other part of you knew that Armin would refuse and somehow make it sound like the nicest thing he'd ever do.
"Okay, so, from there, once all the research is done, Armin and I will meet up in person to work on the presentation bits, which means that Eren and Jean, you will only need to put your findings in a document for us. That should be easy enough."
When no one objected, you started to pack up your things.You waited for Jean to take a picture of the draft before tucking it away in a folder carefully.
Around you, the others started to do the same. With a small breath of relief, you finished packing up and slung your bag over your shoulders, looking to each of your groupmates slowly. "If anyone has questions,” you announced, “please text me. I gave Armin my number already, but if you need mine, ask now."
Eren slid his phone across the table to you, a sour look on his face, as he was clearly upset with the whole situation, and the fact that he had been yelled at over it. You ignored his attitude and typed in your number before returning the phone to him.
Next was Jean, who looked at you for a few moments, then handed his phone over to you, where you repeated the process of saving your number for him.
With that done you set off to your dorm.You didn't live alone, but it was bound to be a wonderful change in pace (and in volume levels). When you arrived, you slipped your shoes off and headed for your room, pausing for a second as you saw one of your roommate and probably your closest friend Sasha Braus. Currently she was sitting on the floor of her room, clutching a bowl of soup…or what was probably a bowl of soup, as it was empty now.
"Oh, hey! You're back already?" she asked, turning to you with a spoon dangling from her mouth. It caused a slight slur in her words, so it came out more like, "Ohhh, heyyy, yer bick alreaty?"
With a sigh, you walked into her room, dropping your bag by the door before flopping onto her bed (which was incredibly comfortable). "Yeah, I called it quits early because I got paired with Armin, Jean, and Eren, and Armin is fine and all, but your stupid friend and Eren can't go more than five seconds without fighting."
You could hear a soft clink as Sasha put her spoon down. "Well, it always works for me to hit them."
"I can't hit my group mates…even if I want to," you grumbled, rolling over onto your side so you could see her.
"I can hit them for you then, just tell me when and where." She flexed her arms, raising her eyebrows up and down at you as she did so.
This caused a breathy laugh to come from you. You could feel yourself starting to relax. Your two roommates were probably the only reason that you had stayed sane so far.
Sasha was always good at getting you to smile, at times she wouldn't stop until you showed some sign of positivity. And of course you were more than grateful for it.
When you had first moved to the dorms, you had kept to yourself, unsure if you really liked her at all. But with time, you warmed up to her easily.
There had been a handful of nights where she would invite you to stay up and just talk, or watch some movie. And, at times, she would share food with you, which you learned wasn't always her favorite thing to do.
"Hey, one of these days we need to catch up on Food wars."
You looked back to her, nodding along, "Oh for sure! Maybe sometime this next week I can stay up with you and we can watch it. Maybe buy some junk food too."
At the prospect of snacks, she perked up even more. "Can we get-"
"Yes, we can get the baked potato flavored chips."
"You didn't even let me finish!" Sasha pouted a little, though still unable to hide her excitement at the confirmation of her favorite snack.
You reached down and flicked her forehead lightly, "Well I already knew what you were going to say. It wasn't hard to figure out."
"Hey! I could have asked for something different! Like, salt and vinegar ones!"
"You don't even like those, and neither do I. We wouldn't ever buy any."
The two of you talked for another five or so minutes until she had to leave, shouting something about Connie Springer owing her dinner. You took the time to go back into your own room which you actually shared with a third roommate ( neither of you wanted to share a room with Sasha because of her snoring). However, he wasn't home yet, which meant that he'd probably be back late.
You pulled your laptop out of your bag and plugged it in; then you went to grab your notebooks, some pens and pencils, and finally your copy of the book for your project. It was best to get a headstart on the project, as it was worth most of your grade.
Professor Hange had assigned the class to read and analyze an old book written by a nameless author. The idea and plot was interesting to a point. It was a war between mere humans, and a race of humans that could take control of what they called titans. The main two parties at war were named Marley and Eldia, both of which claimed that the other was in the wrong, and had vowed to take revenge, wanting to eradicate the other's existence. Towards the end, there was something of a compromise, and Marley seemed to come out victorious. All in all, there was a lot more to it, and the details were typically gorey and morally wrong. The ending wasn't ever written, leaving all readers to question what they knew and what they may not have been told.
This is where your project came in: you were to try and look into the book, outside sources, even artwork, whatever the class could get their hands on, and work on an analysis. Hange hadn't given many guidelines; they wanted to leave it open and see what the class would come up with. Your group hadn't made a decision yet, but so far, Eren was dead set on writing an analysis on who he thought was right and freedom and some other crap, while Jean only had talked about how Eren was wrong.
Luckily enough, Armin had already written up a potential analysis summary, one that focused on how the two sides were similar and what they shared in common with the rest of humanity, and how trying to pick a side would only allow their bloody history to repeat again. His was rather long winded, but it allowed for you to pick and choose the best parts, and what you guys wouldn't really need.
You spent some time searching the internet for more sources, coming across a few articles on what could be a deeper meaning to the story, and a few on what could have been the rest of the world's view on both Marley and Eldia.
That was when you came across a page for the local museum; it seemed that there was going to be an exhibit about the book, featuring many different artists and even some written works. Taking a moment to write down the dates and price for tickets in your phone’s note app. You then sent a quick text to Armin about it, letting him know that if he wanted, you could go and check it out with Jean.
Clicking your phone off, you gave a heavy sigh and stood up, pulling your arms above your head in a stretch before continuing to work on the project. You knew that you should probably eat something, and drink some water, as you hadn’t really been able to do so in the last few hours. But with the project being so important, you decided against getting back up. If you got up now, chances were that you’d end up wasting some time doing who knows what. You really needed to just focus on your work, food, water and relaxing could come later. This was typical for you, what was one more time anyways?
Quietly, your afternoon quickly turned to night, and you wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for both of your roommates crashing into your room.
You turned around, eyeballing Sasha and your third roommate, Marco Bodt, unsure if you really wanted to ask questions.
"She was drinking with Connie at his place,"
"Huh? Noo I waz'nt ! Conn and I were jus playin a game an' then…and then..mmkay maybe I was drinking, but!" Sasha rambles on for a minute, still leaning heavily on Marco, who just gave a half hearted and weary smile.
You shook your head, and stood up, making your way over to Sasha taking her off Marco's hands "Was Connie like this too?" you asked.
"Yeah, he and Jean both…" Marco sighed, following you as you took Sasha to her room. While you carefully put her in her bed, Marco pulled her shoes off for her.
At his words, you paused for just a moment then you continued to fish Sasha's phone from her pocket, placing it on the charger for her.
"Of course, Jean was drinking, too." you remarked. You tried your best to ignore the irritation rising in you. It wasn't like you guys had to get the whole project done right away, or that Jean couldn't enjoy a drink with his friends. But, it wouldn't surprise you if only Armin and yourself had been the only two to even start.
As the two of you left Sasha to sleep, Marco motioned to the kitchen, saying, "Hungry?" You gave a small nod in response.
Once in the small kitchen area, you hopped onto the counter while your roommate got to work on making something simple. From the looks of it, he was just making mac and cheese, but you couldn't really care less. You hadn't noticed it earlier, but you were actually starving.
A quiet buzz from your pocket pulled your attention from Marco cooking, and you pulled your phone out, seeing a few messages from an unsaved number.
"Heyy, it's me"
"Jean"
"just figured i'd text you since we have be partners"
"Not complaining cause i dont wanna be stuck with eren"
You shook your head at your phone, typing a quick reply back, “Wow really? I couldn’t tell.”
Another buzz, another incoming message, “I really hate that guy. He’s stuck up, and always thinks he’s right”
“You know, I feel like there’s someone else like that too.” You sucked in a deep breath, already feeling a tinge of annoyance creeping its way into your body. Sure, Jean was bound to be the better of the two, but that didn’t mean that you wanted him texting you about his testosterone fueled hatred for Eren.
A few moments pass before he texts you again, the words a little hard to make out at first, “you better not be implying that im like him”
“I would never do that. You are an okay person in my eyes”
“Just okay? I’m fuckin’ great!”
“Yeahh, sure. I agree with you, 100%”
You could almost feel his skeptical gaze through your phone as he sent yet another message, “I dont know if I believe that.”
“I dont care if you believe it or not tbh”
“I cant tell if you like me or not”
At this, you paused. You didn’t really know the guy outside of what you were told by Marco and Sasha. And he definitely did not know you. If he did, he wouldn’t be bothering you right now. But as much as that all was true, you also didn’t want to outright say that you didn’t like him, at least not over text while he was suspiciously hitting you up out of the blue.
“im not sure if like is the right word. Right now I tolerate you.”
“Thats a good thing right?”
You didn’t answer, figuring that he would eventually get the hint. But, within minutes, he was texting you yet again. You watched as more messages popped up one by one, all of which just as hard to read as the others. Though you eventually figured them out. He was promising to do his share of the project, as well as promising to keep on schedule with it. The last thing he sent was asking to meet up tomorrow, and figure out what you wanted him to do, and something about how he couldn't really understand the guideline sheet.
You sent a quick reply, just a place and a time, before returning your phone to your pocket, and just in time, Marco had a bowl of delicious mac and cheese for you.
"Thanks man, you're the best."
"Hey, you cooked last night," he said, shrugging, "and somehow it was pretty impressive, given the fact that we're all super broke and have next to nothing in our cupboards,"
You let out a small laugh at that. "I am a person of many talents."
"Do tell your secrets, as I am eager to know," Marco says in-between bites, playing into the bit.
"Oh, I couldn't, because then you would have to learn my /tragic/ backstory of how I had to fend for myself as a child." You dramatically sigh, placing a hand to your forehead, and then paused, peeking out at Marco before saying, "That part is actually true. At my house, we often had 'Fend for Yourself Nights' where you kinda just threw stuff together it could be leftovers, cereal or, like, dry ramen."
Marco chuckles, pointing his fork at you and saying "So that must be the secret then!"
The kitchen rendezvous went on for a while longer before you both headed off to bed, agreeing that Sasha can do the dishes when she wakes up.
The next day, you had managed to drag yourself out of bed and find your way to the coffee shop where you were supposed to be meeting up with Jean.
Key word is 'supposed' to be, since it had been 30 minutes since you had gotten there. Hopefully, you didn't look like some poor soul that had gotten stood up on a date and more like someone enjoying their Saturday morning.
Another ten minutes passed, and no word from Jean, you had finished your coffee, and had already finished working on pulling out key information from a few of the web sources that you found the night before.
You glanced at the time again and cursed under your breath. You had better things to be doing. So, you quickly pack up your things and toss out the trash before leaving.
Just as you returned to the little table to grab your bag, the bell at the door chimed, drawing your attention.
There stood Jean Kirstein himself, out of breath, hair hastily brushed out of his face, and clothes a whole mess…you were pretty sure he had worn them yesterday too.
However, his sudden entrance had also gathered stares from everyone in the shop;most people looked on with a frown, questioning why he had just thrown open the door like that, just to stand there looking like a lost puppy.
You groaned, marching towards him and then grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the way.
"Seriously? You show up almost an hour late, and make a big scene?!" you say, continuing to pull him down the sidewalk.
"I know, I know!" He took in a sharp breath, stumbling as he went.
"I mean seriously?! What's your deal?"
"I didn't mean to be late! And can you stop shouting? My head is killing me…"
You came to an abrupt stop and turned around to face him. "It doesn't matter if you didn't mean to be late, you were still late! I mean, come on, I sat there and looked completely stupid while I waited!"
At your words, he tugged his arm free from your grasp, and hesitated for a moment before, saying, "Okay, I'm sorry. I should have been here on time."
"Or at least texted me to tell me!" You sighed, bringing a hand up to your temple. "Whatever, let's just find somewhere else to sit and I can show you what your part of the project is."
With those words, the two of you walked in silence until you were back at campus, arriving at one of the rooms designated for studying. It didn't take long to run through Jean's responsibilities, and for you both to settle into a somewhat uncomfortable quiet and begin to work.
Currently, you were taking the information gathered earlier and writing them into evidence for your thesis while Jean was searching for art pieces to analyze.
Every fifteen to twenty minutes or so, you'd check in with eachother and help if needed-and Jean needed more help than you did, really.
And maybe if he hadn’t spammed you with drunk texts the night before, and then came late to your meeting, it wouldnt have bothered you as much. So when he did ask for your help, you were being short and to the point. Luckily for you, helping him was easy. It consisted of choosing between artwork, and identifying key themes or details that stood out, and then giving him ways to write it down so that it made sense with the overall idea behind your project. Now and then, you'd have him read over what you wrote, just to see what all he thought and if he had any suggestions.
Finally, after a few hours, Jean leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly. "Okay, I think we've got a lot done. Why don't we break for the day?" he suggested.
At his words, you hesitated. While a break did sound nice, you'd much rather keep working. If you got ahead, there'd be time for breaks later, or time for helping Armin and the others.
"You go on ahead, I'm going to stay a little longer. Thanks for showing up today." You gave a small smile before looking back down to your laptop, trying to spot where you left off.
For a moment or so, Jean packed up his things, not necessarily quietly, but enough for it not to bother you. Though, after he finished doing so, he didn't leave. Instead, he stood /annoyingly/ close to you, seemingly trying to burn holes into the back of your head.
"Is there something you need or…?"
"You're seriously going to stay and work more?"
"...Yeah?"
Jean let out a small series of 'tsk' noises and began to close your notebooks and the few textbooks you had brought. You stuttered out half of a sentence, none of it making any sense, as you watched him stack up your things, his finishing move to carefully close your laptop without even shutting it off.
"What are you…Why…I mean-what?"
"I think you work too hard." he remarked, grinning. Normally that would sound snarky coming from him, this time he sounded gentle, and nothing in his face seemed to show any ill will. "I mean, I've never seen you do anything fun. All you do is push yourself to do work."
You were at a loss for words, face heating up with embarrassment. Just because he had never seen you do fun things didn't mean that you were some sort of shut in who only ever focused on homework and studying.
Jean waited for you to pack your things, all of which you did while in a small haze, trying to comprehend it all. When you were done, he motioned for you to follow him, not saying a word of what he had planned.
The two of you walked outside, Jean slightly ahead of you as he continued to lead the way. Occasionally, someone would stop Jean, asking him about a party or a class. He seemed to have a lot of friends, or rather just a lot of acquaintances.
Eventually, you both came to a little grassy field, one where students often came to waste time, or play games like spikeball, or frisbee. Currently, it wasn't very busy, and the two of you found a spot to sit and relax under a warm spring sky.
For the first five minutes, you sat in silence, an almost comfortable one. You found yourself mumbling about how this wasn't so bad, noticing from the corner of your eye as Jean turned to look at you.
"Would I ever lead you astray?" Jean elbowed you carefully, earning a scowl from you.
"Given that we don't really know each other, I'm not sure," you retorted.
"I know that we've had at least three classes together since freshman year, and that you don't seem to like anyone," he pointed out.
"Not true,” you said. “Sasha and Marco are very nice people who I like a lot,"
At this he barked out a laugh, a wonderful sound really, compared to his typical evil sounding snicker. "Okay, so you appreciate the presence of three specific people."
"Three? I only named two people," you said, holding up two fingers to signify your only two friends.
"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but right now you don't seem to hate me, so I counted myself."
You gave another scowl."If we were able to pick our own groups, I would have picked other people, just for the record"
"Ouch, that kind of stings."
You couldn't tell if he was serious or not, but one thing you did know was that he probably wouldn't have picked you either. Not that it really bothered you. While it was true that you've shared classes in the two years that you've been in college, the two of you never really talked.
Sure, you've had the quick conversations in the hall, or maybe accidentally bumped into each other when trying to take Sasha home, or even just when Jean would hang out with Marco at your dorm.
It wasn't that you didn't like him (aside from his huge ego and inability to get along with certain people) or even that you didn't like people in general. You honestly just wanted to focus on school, so that you would graduate on time, and get the hell out of this town. Personal relationships could come later, and you were completely content with that. Being alone wasn't something that bothered you. Or, something that you /let/ bother you.
You leaned back until you were laying down in the grass, staring up at the cloudy sky. The more you thought about it, the more your head seemed to churn with an anxious and maybe even guilty conscience.
"By the way, I'd say that, even though we didn't get to pick our own groups, I don't mind being paired with you." You sighed, keeping your eyes trained on the sky as Jean laid down next to you.
From there, the conversation switched to a few different topics, one of them being a small argument over the particular shape of a cloud and what you thought it was.
Eventually, the clouds dissipated, and the sky faded from its blue to a dusty orange lined with a pale pink-ish-purple.
"I guess it's time to go home for the night," Jean said.
"Mhm, guess so," you quietly said, but made no effort to sit up yet.
Next to you, Jean stood, brushing off his clothes and running a hand through his hair, attempting to make sure there wasn't any grass on his person. Then, when it was apparent that you still hadn't even moved, he nudged you with his shoe. "You coming or what?"
"I’m waiting,"
"For what?"
"The first star I see"
Jean slowly looked away from you and to the sky, "Can I ask why?"
"No."
It wasn't really a big deal, but this was your favorite time of the day, and you had the habit of looking for the first star you could find and making a small wish on it. It had been something you'd done ever since you were a kid; old habits die hard. But it wasn't something you just went and told people about, especially not someone like Jean. You were sure that he'd poke fun at you for it.
His voice pulled you away from your thoughts, and you watched as he pointed just above your heads. "I think there's one over there."
From your perspective, he was lined up to where the star was atop his finger.The sight made you smile softly; you didn’t notice that he had glanced back down, watching the small moment.
"Okay, now we can go." You sat up slowly and climbed to your feet, grabbing your bag from where it had been by your feet.
The two of you parted ways for the night, and you found yourself back at your dorm, which was uncharacteristically empty and quiet. Either Sasha would come home drunk again (or with her hands full of food that she got from Connie or that Niccolo guy) or that she would stay out for the night. Marco on the other hand, was probably visiting some other friends for the short weekend, so most likely, you had the place to yourself until the following evening.
With the freedom at hand, you took some time to make dinner and lounged around the shared living space, until eventually, your eyelids grew heavy, and you forced yourself into your bed for the night.
The sound of knocking at your door woke you up. At first, you had half a mind to ignore it, but with your roommates, and the friends they had, the knocking wouldn't stop. You glanced at the clock, seeing that it was around noon, a time that you hardly ever slept in till.
"Yeah, okay, I'm up. Who is it?" you grumbled at the door, noting that if it was Marco, he wouldn't necessarily need to knock, meaning that it must be Sasha.
And it was. At your words, she swung the door open lazily, and leaned around the corner, "Heyyy, I was wondering if you had plans today? Connie, Jean, and I were going to play some volleyball! Wanna come? Marco is gonna join us later!"
You took a moment to think it over. It was Sunday, so you didn't have classes, and depending on how long you were out, you could always do more homework later. Not to mention, Jean's comment about how you worked too much was still fresh in your mind.
"...Yeah, okay, I'll come play. Give me a few minutes and I'll get dressed."
She gave you a huge grin, shouting over her shoulder, "They said they'd come! You guys still have the net?"
You watched as she disappeared back into the main area of the dorm, and then shut your door to change. When you exited, you could see the three of them waiting by the door, Jean holding the net, while Connie was tossing the ball between his hands.
The walk was fairly short, as Jean had suggested the field that the two of you had been at the other day, and just like the day before, there weren't very many people out. You guys could set up a spot without having to worry about anyone else.
At least, that's how it was at first. The game went smoothly. Surprisingly, all three of them were pretty good at the sport; though, if you had to rank them, it would be Sasha, then Jean (mostly because he can use his height to his advantage), and then Connie.
For the first game you played, it was you and Sasha versus Jean and Connie. Then, it switched to you and Connie, and finally, you and Jean.
No one was really counting points; no one could keep track, though each side was sure that they were winning, even if they weren't. It was about halfway through the current match, right as you were about to serve, when something came crashing into your head.
It had hit you pretty hard, and it took you a moment to even realize what had happened and what was currently happening.
"Hey, man, watch where you throw this thing! You nearly took my partner out!" Jean was holding a football and pointing it aggressively at another college student, who you think was named Floch or something close to it.
The guy snatched the ball from Jean, giving him the dirtiest look. "Well, maybe you guys shouldn't be playing so close to where we are."
At this, Connie and Sasha stepped up. Connie took to Jean's side, starting to bicker with the guy, while Sasha checked your head, fussing over you.
"Just say sorry to our friend already. You can at least agree that you hit them!" You weren't sure who said that, as all the voices blended together until that moment. Suddenly all eyes were on you.
More specifically, Floch's eyes. He regarded you warily, annoyance clear in his eyes and voice. "Your dumbass friend looks fine to me,” he sneered. “And besides, we tried to warn them, and they didn't move. It's their own fault. Don't go blaming me for your friend being an idiot."
You weren't sure what came over you; maybe it was anger from the childish name calling, or maybe it was the stress of the week getting to you, but within an instant, you had crossed the few feet to get to him, and threw a punch.
You watched as he stumbled back, nearly running into one of his nameless friends, as he clutched at his face. He was clearly seeing red.
"How dare you!" he shouted out. He started to make his way over to you, obscenities of all sorts falling from his mouth.
None of which you really heard, because at that exact moment, Sasha and Connie both shouted the same thing, 'Run,' and took off.
And, before you knew it, Jean grabbed your hand, pulling you along as he chased after the two, until you four were sure that Floch and his extras weren't going to follow you.
When you finally stopped, everyone was bent over, stuck in between laughing and gasping for air.
"Holy shit! That was insane!" Sasha wheezed out, and straightened out, turning to the group with a large smile on her face.
Connie spoke next, hands still on his knees. "I can't believe we ran away."
All at once, realization hit you: you had just clocked a guy, and then ran away, without even thinking twice. Never in your life had you done something like that. You weren't super confrontational, and you certainly would rather avoid physical altercations. But, at that moment, you had just done it. And, the crazy thing about it was how amusing you found it. Because even though you were struggling to breathe, you were laughing. The kind of laugh where you couldn't stop, and your eyes would start to tear up.
From where he was standing at your side, Jean watched for a moment, a certain fluttering in his chest (though he could pass it off as his own endeavors with taking in air). You, for the first time that he had seen, were so laid back about the fact that you had hit someone. And the way that you were now chuckling to yourself, clearly in a sort of disbelief mixed with content.
Jean drew your attention, "Is it bad that I kind of liked seeing you hit him?" Then he paused, as if he had rethought his choice of words. "I mean, in the sense that Floch is a stuck up, entitled bastard, and that he had it coming."
You gave a little huff, and shrugged. "Well, I'm sure anyone would pay to see that…I honestly didn't know that I was going to hit him…until right after."
"Well, that was amazing! That guy's been a tyrant since the beginning of the year! He even tries to get in with Eren's group, as if he was even worth being someone to talk to." Connie clapped a hand on your back, his adrenaline still running through him.
"And I thought that Jean was the one to start fights," Sasha teased.
"Sasha! I don't start fights!"
Around you, the three continued to talk while you watched, enjoying the sight.
It was rather nice, for once. You weren't holed up in your dorm room while everyone else had fun, even if the fun was getting into a fight of sorts—which, as you thought back on it, the whole thing was kind of funny. It would have easily been solved if those assholes had just apologized, but you were starting to think that this outcome was better.
“Hey, should we go back for our things?” Jean asked, pulling your attention to him.
“Yeah, probably, and if those assholes are still there, I think we know someone who can take them on for us.” Connie sent a lopsided grin your way, a certain mischievous look in his eyes.
You shrugged, acting as innocent as possible. “Oh yeah, you’d be the perfect guy for that, even with the serious height disadvantage.”
Connie’s mouth dropped open, not quite expecting that kind of remark from you. As far as he knew, you were silent, hardworking, and the person who likes to keep to yourself. Even you were a little surprised, but, maybe after today’s events you could try out some new ways to enjoy your life a little more.
Once again, the four of you made your way back to the field, and as you did, you could see a familiar figure standing by your net, looking down at his phone.
“Marco! You made it!” Connie shouted out, drawing your friend’s attention. “You missed all the action; it was insane!”
“Huh? Did I miss out on playing? And where were you guys?”
As you approached, Sasha and Connie exploded into answers for his question.
“You only missed a little of our game-”
“We had to run from Forrester and his braindead lackeys!”
“We’ve got our own Rocky! You should have seen the way they punched him! No hesitation at all!”
Slowly, Marco seemed to piece all of the information together, nodding as he thought it all over. His eyes looked at everyone one by one until he got to you. “You punched someone? The most I've ever seen from you was the time you swore at your computer when it crashed!”
A small and almost shy smile escaped you, “Well, to be fair he started it. I honestly didn’t even think about doing it; my hand moved on it’s own,”
He only shook his head, looking back around the group. “So, are we still playing?”
Jean shook his head. “Maybe we should head back to one of the dorms? Relax or play some games?”
“Oh! I’ve got some fun games!” Sasha chimed in, then paused. “But I’m kind of hungry, so maybe we could make some food, too!”
Once everyone agreed to the plan, the now five of you ended up in the dorm you shared with Marco and Sasha, where Connie, Sasha and Marco focused on setting up some games in the little living room area, and you and Jean were tasked with making some dinner. Of course, it wasn’t exactly easy, given the few options, but eventually, the two of you were able to settle on a college delicacy: instant ramen.
You pulled out a pot to fill with water, while Jean opened a few packs of said ramen. All in all, it was easy to make, and didn’t take terribly long. Before you knew it, you were handing out bowls to the other three while Jean brought over yours and his to where you were now sitting on the floor, some game cards in front of you.
“Okay, listen up, I’m not explaining this twice,” Connie announced. “The game is simple: read a card to yourself and then say someones name who you think matches the card. You flip a coin. If it’s heads, you tell everyone what was on the card and give that person the card. If it’s tails, you keep it to yourself, and the card is yours.” Connie gave everyone a pointed look, and when no questions or objections were raised, the game started.
The first to go is Marco; he took a moment to read his card before immediately calling out Connie’s name. Then when the coin was flipped, it landed on heads, earning a small sigh from Marco.
“It asked who would be the one to need parental supervision no matter what age someone is,” Marco explained.
“What? Why not Sasha?! She gets into more trouble than I do!”
“Hah! Say that to Professor Levi and all the times he has had to tell you to shut up,” Jean remarked “And not to mention you black out at every party you go to. Do you know how many times I have to carry you home while you sing at the top of your lungs?”
Connie grumbled a bit, but didn’t try to deny the claims. Instead, he pulled out a card to read. His turn ended with a flip of tails, making it now your turn.
From the main deck, you pulled your card and read it over silently: ‘Out of everyone in the group, who would you rather make out with?’
You can feel your face heat up, already knowing that you only really have two options, Jean or Marco. And Marco is only really a choice because of how well you know him, but even then, you wouldn’t really want to do that with him. So after a few moments of silence, you call Jean’s name, looking anywhere but at his face.
“That took you some time; must be a good card.” Sasha grinned, reaching for the coin and giving it an impressive flip. Everyone seemed to hold their breath as it landed, and all at once, five heads stuck together to see the outcome.
Heads. The worst possible way for things to go. You could feel all eyes on you now, and you begrudgingly read out the card, once again avoiding looking at Jean entirely.
A chorus of ooo’s and ahh’s filled your ears, and everyone had something to say about your answer.
The only one you even managed to hear was the man himself: “I hope you plan to take me out first, I’m not won over so easily." Of course, he had a cocky smirk on his face, pointed directly at you.
“Whatever, just…whoever is next, take your turn.” You shook your head, busying yourself with eating some of your food that was now starting to get a little cold.
Time seemed to escape you all and the night drew to a close with Connie and Jean taking their leave. Marco took the time to wash the dishes, roping Sasha into helping, and you retired to your room. You took the time to change into some comfier clothes and settle into your bed, though not quite wanting to sleep just yet.
Your mind was still stuck on the first game you played and the card you had picked Jean for. While you wouldn’t argue against the idea of finding Jean attractive, or even the idea of kissing him, you just weren’t sure why you were so trapped in thinking about it. You didn’t even know him all that well, and for the most part, you had thought that he was pretty unbearable.
And yet, the more your thoughts seemed to revolve around him, the more you could feel an uneasy knot forming in your stomach. There was no way that you were going to let yourself get wrapped up in developing feelings for him, or anyone. You were supposed to be focusing on school so that you could get the hell out of this town and make something of yourself.
Not to mention the fact that all of your previous attempts at relationships crashed and burned. The last time that you had gotten close with someone in that way, you ended up with a mixture of being heartbroken and incredibly angry. That was about the time you started keeping to yourself, as if getting to know someone in a more than platonic way would cause your world to shatter again. You couldn’t-no /wouldn’t/ deal with something like that again.
You let out a groan, planting face first into your pillow and trying to shoo away all thoughts related to romance and feelings, and of Jean Kirstein.
“Suffocating yourself?”
You jumped lightly, head snapping up to see Marco in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. His expression was a little hard to read, though he could be like that at times.
“Uh…no, not quite what I’m going for, but if it gets the job done, then sure,” you joked.
He moved across the room to his own bed where he took a seat, facing you. “Then what’s with the face-in-pillow tactic?”
You hesitated, knowing full and well how close Marco was with Jean, closer than he was with you. “Oh, uh, just, school things, homework, assignments, that sort of thing…”
His eyes narrowed slightly, brows furrowing. “Yeah, for once I don’t buy that, but if you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t force you to spill the details."
Again, you paused, turning away from Marco and looking towards the door. In truth, it wouldn’t hurt to tell him, since he wouldn’t ever tell a secret that wasn’t his. He was definitely the guy who would just want to talk things out, not wanting things to end badly.
“Okay…Well…that card I got earlier,” you began. “I’m just worried, and I know that it’s just a stupid game, but I cant help but think about it.”
“Worried that Jean took it the wrong way, or worried that you’d actually want to kiss him?”
Marco was somehow always hitting the nail on the head, a talent of his.
“Would saying both make sense?”
He thought for a moment, the room filling with an unnamable silence, until he spoke again. “Well, I’m sure Jean is going to take it in the way he always does: an ego boost for his way too big head.” Another pause. “As for the idea of maybe wanting to kiss him, I wouldn’t say that's an all too terrible idea, besides the fact that it’s Jean. But, if you really aren't sure about how you feel towards him, maybe you could…test it out?"
“Test it out?” you repeated, confused.
“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Like ask him to hang out or something. You don’t have to necessarily make it like a date, but you could use the time to get to know him more, and figure out if it’s just because everyone made a big deal out of it, or if you might actually be interested in him, or getting to know him.”
You thought for a moment. The idea was pretty simple, and a good one at that, though just thinking about it made your heart rate speed up. It wasn’t like you had never been one on one with Jean, but now, with all of your thoughts being scrambled like eggs, it was slightly overwhelming. But when it came down to it, you wanted to sort it all out. If you could set your mind straight, and get rid of these terrible thoughts about Jean, you could get back on track for school.
“You’re right, I’ll definitely try that.” You let out a small breath of air and turned back to Marco. “Thanks, I’m glad you’re here.”
“What would you do without me? And don’t worry— I won’t say anything to anyone. my lips are sealed” He smiled, hand coming up to his mouth to mime a zipper motion.
“Okay, good. Unless you want to end up like the douche from earlier, I wouldn’t recommend telling a soul.”
He gave a laugh before gathering some of his things to go and take a shower, leaving you alone once more. You eventually drifted off to sleep, and surprisingly, you didn’t wake up once.
The next day, you only had one class, and once that was over, you had gone to the library to study, needing to get work done for a few of your other classes. It was a nice change in pace from the day you had yesterday. It wasn’t super crowded, either, which meant you could focus on your work in peace.
Though, it didn’t last long, as two new faces joined your table. You looked up, almost expecting to see Jean and Connie, or Marco and Sasha, but to your surprise, it was Eren and Armin.
“I hope you don’t mind us joining you!” Armin smiles, though something in his eyes tells you that he didn’t pick your table without a reason.
“Uh, no that’s okay.”
He and Eren settled into two of the chairs, the latter of the two only pulling out his phone. Armin did the exact opposite. He took out two textbooks, a large notebook, and a handful of pens, pencils and markers.
For the first five minutes or so, the three of you sat in silence. You worked on homework for a communications class, while armin was seemingly working on a paper for a psyche class. But when Eren suddenly scoffed at his phone, you stopped what you were doing to look up at him, questioning his action.
He in turn looked at you, maybe even through you. “So, turns out, someone gave Forrester a nasty bruise yesterday. He wont say who, so i’m thinking he got his ass kicked and just doesn’t want to admit it.”
You feigned ignorance, giving Eren a blank stare, “I’m not really sure who that is, but sounds like a tough time for him.”
Eren regarded you for a moment, but it wasn’t his stare that bothered you. You now had Armin’s attention, as if he wanted to ask a question. Or, make a comment on what you said. But instead he said, “Well, I’m not the one to really get into these things, but Floch does like to cause problems for himself, so maybe he deserved it?”
You nodded along, not wanting to give Eren any more information. With him, rumors tended to get out of hand quickly, and you really did not want to be the talk of the school over an altercation with Floch. To everyone in the school, you were pretty much some nobody, and frankly, you weren’t upset at the idea. If it meant less trouble for you, it was going to be something you’d stay okay with.
“Well he’s been bitching about it all day. It’s starting to get on my nerves.” Eren flipped his phone over, leaning back in his chair as he did.
“Does he expect you to do something about it?” You asked, still trying to keep a low profile, while also trying to pry more information out of him.
“I’m sure thats what he wants, but I’m not going to help him with that, Floch can fight his own battles.”
A thick silence descended over your table. You took it as a sign that you could continue working on your homework. The one for your comms class wasn’t due until tomorrow, but you really wanted to finish it.
This had always really been how you did things. You tried to finish things early, study as soon as possible, take as much time to get your work done as possible. And you weren’t the only one. Armin had also gone back to his work, and though you weren’t sure when it was due for him, but it wouldn’t be surprising if it was due at the end of the week or so.
You weren’t all that close with Armin, but the two of you had taken the time to study with eachother for the one class that you did share, and you had even reached out once to ask if he would tutor you for a few sessions, needing help with your math at the time. It was a nice thought to know that you weren’t the only student to stray from the eyes of their peers.
Though he had a harder time with it, being best friends with Eren and all. Not to mention he was also friends with Mikasa Ackerman, who was arguably the girl who drew most people’s attention.
Before you knew it, two hours had passed, and you felt your phone buzz. You picked it up from the table, squinting your eyes at the bright screen. It was Jean.
“Hey, why are you with Armin, and that idiot.”
At this, you paused, looking around the library, not seeing Jean.
“Where are you?” you replied.
After a minute or two, your phone buzzed again.
“Come and find me.”
And that was it. He didn’t send any other messages, even after you sent him two more, questioning him again. You frowned, then looked to your things. You had been working for awhile, so getting up and moving might not be the worst thing. You proceeded to pack everything that you had pulled out earlier, and stood from your chair, looking to the other two.
“I think I’m going to head out. Let’s meet up again later in the week to work on Professor Hange’s assignment.”
Armin glanced up, and smiled, “Okay! How about Thursday? I can show you what all I’ve finished!”
“Sounds good.” You gave a short wave, and turned away from the table, scanning the surrounding areas before setting off in a random direction.
There were a few more tables behind some of the bookshelves, but none of the students sitting at them were Jean. You checked out the library’s computer section next, and kept looking until you ended up near Armin and Eren again. Another frown crossed your face, until you heard a muffled laugh.
With the new hint, you looked upwards to the second floor. And there he was, leaning against the railing, smirking down at you. You felt your face heat up in what you were going to call embarrassment, and definitely not any other word that had to do with your complicated thoughts on him, and how from where you stood, he looked almost handsome.
You sent a halfhearted glare his way and headed up the stairs, making your way over to him, about to comment on his antics, but you weren’t able to get a word out before he could make fun of you.
“You looked really dumb running around trying to find me.”
You gave an astonished laugh, “Yeah, well you sounded like a complete stalker just now.”
“And you still came to find me. I’m starting to think you like me more than you let on.”
The unsettling feeling returned to your stomach at his words, though you weren’t surprised that he was poking fun at you after yesterdays game. “In your dreams.” You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to ease the increasing amount of uneasiness that was slowly taking ahold of you.
“Hm, I guess that’s true. Does that mean you want me to dream about it?” He looked at you contently, despite all of what he said being the brashest thing you had heard from him yet.
You didn’t say anything to that, instead you changed the subject quickly. “To answer your question about who I was with, I actually didn’t plan on sitting with them. Armin and Eren joined me.”
He gave a slow nod, and peered back at the table down below, where the two were still sitting, “Do you think I could spit on Eren from here?”
“No, and I dont think you should even try.”
“Buzzkill.”
You scoffed, “I am not a buzzkill. You are just in the middle of some pointless battle of being better than each other.”
Jean looked back to you, staring at you for a moment. Then back down at Eren. “I just don’t get what everyone sees in that guy. He’s clearly an egotistical bastard with no regards to anyone else.”
“Do you think that you guys have anything in common in the fact that you both have ridiculously large egos?”
“Don’t lump me in with him.” This he said more seriously, “Anyways, enough about him, do you want to go do something?”
“Like what?”
He shrugged, and started for the stairs. You followed him wordlessly, and the two of you left the library, now back outside where a light breeze met you. The silence continued to hang over you two as you walked aimlessly in a random direction. You couldn’t tell if he was still thinking about your comment on him and Eren, or something else completely. You decided against asking him about it, and instead found a different topic.
“Hey so, I found this art exhibit at the museum, it’s about the book Hange assigned us. I was thinking that we could go and check it out and see if we can find anything useful?”
He thought for a moment, eyes wandering the path ahead. “Okay, it doesn’t sound like the worst way to spend an afternoon.”
“Would eleven in the morning on Friday or Saturday be okay?”
“Friday works better for me, I think I’ve got plans with Connie on Satuday.”
“Okay, Friday it is.” You paused, a smile slowly making it’s way onto your face, “Just make sure to be on time. I wont wait for you this time.”
“Hey! I already apologized for that.” He stopped in place, giving you a pointed look.
You stopped a few feet in front of him, shrugging as you continued to speak, “I need to cover all the bases. I am not going to wait around for you, just for you to tell me that you were hungover.”
“I am not going to be hungover again. I’m not going to make you wait, I swear.”
“You better not, I won’t be as forgiving this time.” You go to move past him, elbowing him as you do.
He turns on his heel to catch up with you, giving you a slight push at the same time, “You were hardly forgiving last time. You were mad the entire time we were working on the assignment,” Jean pauses, taking a moment to look at the path that you had set off on, “Wait, where are we even going?”
You glanced over to him, then back infront of you. “Well, I’ve done nothing but school work today, and you didn’t mention anything specific other than ‘go do something’ and last time you picked where we went, so now its my turn.”
“Are you going to tell me where we are heading at least?”
“No.” You smiled a little at the statement, remembering how you had done the same thing to him when he had asked about you caring so much about seeing the stars. Looking back over to Jean, who was staring straight ahead, you took a moment to really look at him.
He was pretty tall, and when he wasn’t smiling like some sort of evil bastard, he had a pretty nasty resting bitch face, a combination that probably scared anyone who didn’t know him. Though, you could say that despite all that, he had a few attractive features to him. When he was smiling, actually smiling that is, his eyes lit up. You hadn’t noticed it much before, but now when you thought back on the past few days of being around him, you could see the way his eyes would hold a certain softness. And when he was thinking, he tended to frown, scrunching up his nose until he came to whatever conclusion he needed. And when the two of you were in the field the other evening, he had an almost blissful aura to him, as if he had no cares in the world, you wouldn't ever guess that he was someone who caused so much trouble. Honestly it was probably a good thing that he had a difficult personality. If his ego was bad now, you don't want to know what he'd be like if he knew all of this about himself.
You looked away before he could catch you staring, and before you gave yourself any more time to think about him, not wanting to let yourself actually fall for the guy.
Instead you focused on finding your way to today's randomized destination. If you were being honest, you hadn't actually thought of somewhere to go, and frankly, with how little you actually went out, you didn't know too many spots around campus. Regardless, you continued to lead the way, until an idea formed in your head.
Earlier in the year, you had gotten a tad bit lost while trying to find a class, and ended up on the edge of your campus, where you stumbled on an old tree. Aside from the size of the thing, it seemed completely normal. But when you had looked further at it, there was something of a hidey hole in its backside. Since discovering it, you had made countless trips to the tree, using it as a place to get away from the school. You definitely weren't the first person to discover it, but it seemed like no one else ever really visited the old thing.
As you and Jean came upon the tree, he gave a low whistle, craning his head back to take in it's height, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you just took me to a make out spot,"
You threw a bewildered look at him, before shaking your head slowly, "Well, since you do know better, you should know that it's more likely that I've brought you to the best place on campus to hide a body."
He in turn shook his own head, "And here I thought we we're getting closer,"
"Closer to hiding your body?"
"Not quite what I was thinking…" he trailed off, taking a moment to circle around the tree, his hand trailing along the bark as he went, "so, what made you pick here? Other than premeditated murder."
As he came back around, you watched as he took the time to drop his bag at the ground by his feet, kneeling down next to it for a moment, searching its contents.
"Hm, I'm not entirely sure. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who ever comes here anymore." You pause, eyeballing what Jean was now holding in his hands, "It's kind of like a secret hideout minus the secret part, since anyone can stumble on this old tree."
"And yet you brought me here…I'm starting to worry about my wellbeing," he chuckles, then takes a seat a few feet away from the tree.
In his hands, he held a sketchbook. It looked a good few years old, as loose pages stuck out here and there, and the sheets were starting to yellow along the edges. You watched on quietly, as he flipped open to one of the last few pages, pausing as he glanced back at the tree.
After a few moments you moved to stand just behind him, looking down at the page, which now held some sketch lines, resembling the tree just ahead of you.
You kept quiet for a bit, watching him quietly. He was lighthanded, it was as if any stray line within the whole piece would fly off the page and into the world around you.
"You know you can sit and watch me draw too, right?"
"Yeah, and sit next to you? No thanks." You moved away from him, a slight flustered tone in your voice as you realized just how long you had been observing him.
Instead, you took a seat at the base of the tree, opening your own bag, pulling out some more of your homework. Between the two of you, the only noises were the sounds of pencil on paper, and the occasional shifting of branches in the wind.
You weren't really sure just how long things stayed that way. The only thing that brought your mind back to reality was the feeling of being stared at.
"Need something?" You asked, arching a quizzical eyebrow in Jean's direction.
He shook his head, closing his sketchbook quietly, "Not at all. I was just wondering how much homework you were going to do before you got bored of being such a studious person."
You scoffed at him. He was teasing you for this again?
"Well, unlike some people, I need to pass all my classes so I can get the hell out of here."
"You hate it here that much?"
You paused, a lump forming in your throat. How were you even supposed to answer that question? All in all, this small town was horrible, and had been that way your entire life. Growing up you didn't have very many friends, and your family was fairly distant to you. You had shouldered all of your problems and responsibilities by yourself. Even now, in your college years it was hard to shake the feeling that you were still alone.
You drew in a breath. "Sometimes, I sit by myself at my desk, and just stare at one of my notebooks until all the lines blur together. And then I realize that I'm crying. But what's funny about that is, I never know why I'm crying. " you start, bringing your eyes to his, "I never have the words to describe what i'm feeling in those moments. It's the same with how I feel about this place. I really don't know if I hate it, or if I'm just…projecting something else onto it."
Jean stills with the information, until he takes a long breath in, "Art isn't much of a passion for me, as much as it is a hobby. I can't tell you how many half finished sketches I have. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have it in me to finish them, as if I'm scared of not knowing what I'm going to do next."
He isn't talking about art. You know this from the way that Jean looks at you, not with pity, but with a hint of understanding.
It was silent once again. Your brain turned over and over as you repeated his words in your head. Slowly, a wistful smile spread across your face.
"You know Jean, you're not so bad after all."
He stands up, shaking his head as he does, and makes his way over to you, holding out a hand for you to take, "I have my moments, I can't always be the charming asshole everyone says I am."
You hesitated for a moment, eyes flicking to his hand. Slender fingers and a wide palm, his hand looked soft, and the thought of holding it, even just for a moment, would be comforting. You took his hand, averting your gaze as he helped you to your feet.
"I'm sure everyone leaves out the 'charming' part."
"That's where you're wrong, everyone thinks I'm charming."
"Everyone but me that is," you chirp back, letting your hands fall to your sides.
"You dont think I'm charming?"
The churning sensation is back. You /wanted/ to say no, to tell him that he was annoying, loud-mouthed, and a pain in the ass, but somewhere in the time you'd known him, he had become annoyingly endearing, loudly funny, and a pain in the ass to ignore the thumping in your chest.
"I can't say charming is the word I'd use to describe you. Horribly pleasant maybe, but not charming."
At this he smirks, starting to walk backwards away from you, "Oh so you think I'm pleasant? Hopefully in the way that I'm nice to look at."
"You missed the word horrible,"
He waved off your comment, instead placing one hand on his chest, right over his heart, while reaching out the other hand towards you, "and yet, if I asked you to join me to a delicious five star dinner at my dorm, you'd still say yes."
You could feel your face flush, knowing that he didn't mean anything more than just to hang out for a little bit longer, and not in some sort of lame date way, "I'd only come because it would be free food, even if the food is terrible. Like you."
"So, that's a yes you'll be joining me for dinner? I've got…box mashed potatoes, frozen broccoli, and hopefully leftover seasoned chicken."
You turned back to where you had left your things, a slightly messy sight. "Alright alright, I'll come, pick up your things and we can go."
You knelt down next to your bag, trying to ignore the nervous shaking of your hands as you collected your things. Your mind raced with warring thoughts. How did this happen? How was it that Jean Kirstein of all people, had weaseled his way into being someone that you didn't fully hate? But, there was no way you were going to let him get in the way of school, and your plans to finally be free from this horrible town. But then part of you wondered, was it all one sided? Jean seemed to be the type to have all sorts of girls and guys fawning over him, even if he had only ever been open about one specific girl that he was interested in, which of course had been Mikasa. But you couldn't even blame him, she was out of everyone's league. How she seemed to be completely and obviously in love with Eren Jeager of all people was a mystery to you.
"Hey, are you listening?" His voice stopped your thoughts in their tracks, as you hadn't even noticed that he had been speaking to you.
"Now why would I be doing that?" You shouldered your bag, standing back up and facing him.
"We've been over this, because I'm charming- sorry, pleasant."
"Again, you left out the horrible part."
"I've got a feeling that you don't mean that, otherwise you'd just call me horrible." He turns halfway away from you, looking back to the general area of the school.
You paused, walking up next to him, trying to ignore the fact that he was right, "You just have selective hearing."
Jean eyed you while starting to head back to the dorms, a different and softer smile making its way onto his face, "Not when it comes to you."
You nearly tripped over a stray rock, his words repeating in cycles in your head. You could only give him a glance, busying yourself with avoiding any other stones on the sidewalk.
What did he mean by that? What did you want those words to mean? Your mind flashes back to your conversation with Marco. The feeling of your heart painfully pounding against your ribs surfaces. Your hands tremble ever so slightly while they grasp at the straps of your bag. Marco was right, and he hadn’t even said anything about you actually having feelings for Jean.
As the thought hit, you spared another quick look towards him. He was looking at you. Careful eyes studying your demeanor. The way you walked. The way your eyes struggled to meet his. The way your mouth formed a tight line as you realized all of this was happening.
“Hey, if you really don’t want to try my cooking, you don’t have to come.” He let out a breath, running a hand through his hair for a moment.
You looked away. You could turn him down, you could go home. It would be the easy way out. You could ignore any of his future attempts at hanging out. You could finish school and leave this place. Leave him and everyone else again.
The thought of it made you shudder. In doing so, you would be condemning yourself to your worst self. Being alone.
You looked back to Jean, his face morphed into one of concern, clearly puzzled as to why you were taking so long to answer.
You were tired of being alone. Tired of pushing away your own happiness in pursuit of a future that wasn’t even set in stone.
You flashed a smile his way, and waved off his words, “No way, you said it was a five star dinner. I can’t pass on that.”
He stared at you for a moment. Then, his confusion melted away, replaced by that famous cocky smile, “Okay good, I wasn’t sure what to do if you bailed on me.”
“Maybe you could have cooked for Connie too, light some candles, play some mood music, you know, make it all romantic for the two of you.” You chuckled, about to make another remark when Jean gave you a playful shove.
“Why would you say that! I can’t have a romantic dinner with Connie of all people!”
“Sure you can! It’s easy! Candles, music, food! All you need!”
Jean groaned and shook his head. “You’re horrible.”
“Pleasant, actually.” You grinned.
He hummed in response, and you could’ve swore you heard him mumble ‘horribly pleasant my ass’
His dorm room was warm, and set up similarly to yours. The same bland, small kitchen and the same questionable excuse for a couch just a few feet away. Three sets of doors that led to his roommates, and two bathrooms.
One of the doors were open, and you caught a glimpse of Connie attempting to take mirror selfies. He would take one, bring the phone close to his face, frown and then try again. It wasn’t until his third or forth picture that he noticed you staring through the mirror.
“Well if it isn’t our very own Rocky!” He grinned, hastily shoving his phone into the pocket of his sweats.
“Hey Connie” you waved, then smirked a little, “I'm sure the ladies will love all of those selfies.”
His face flushed slightly, and he stepped out of his small room, “For your information, the ladies already love seeing my handsome face. I was just taking a few more for-”
Jean cut him off, a bark of a laugh filling the room, “Like you can get a girl to think your ugly mug is anything worth looking at.”
Connie gaped, “Dude, that’s just cold. I thought you liked my face.”
You eyeballed the two, before turning to Jean and mouthing the words, ‘romantic dinner’
Jean glared halfheartedly, before a smile broke through, “and here I thought I was treating you to a five star, romantic dinner.”
Connie was now the one looking between the two of you, unsure if Jean was being serious or not. You, on the other hand, could feel your face heat up. He had to be joking. Jean was making a joke based off of your joke. That was the only thing that would make sense at the moment.
“Only if it involves candles and music.” You attempt to force your voice into sounding level, as if you weren’t sickeningly thrilled by the idea of your dinner with Jean being a little more than friendly.
His head swivels around the room, scanning the small area before emitting a sigh of halfhearted defeat, “Might need a raincheck on that, I don't have any candles.” Jean pauses, thinking for a moment, “Unless you had your heart set on the romantic dinner with candles and music, maybe I can make something work.” He smirked in your direction, true to his usual cheeky self.
You faced away from him, moving to set your backpack down on the floor by the door, “No candles, no deal.” You pause, practically feeling Connie’s wide eyed stare pointed at your back.
“That’s not a no to having a more than friendly dinner, now is it?” Jean fires back, smiling in a not so innocent way. Your stomach twisted in knots. He wasn’t wrong. You had intentionally avoided his question, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of yet another person falling for his aggravating charm.
You shrug a response, giving back another flippant response, “Sure, if it helps you sleep at night to think of it that way.”
After a moment of silence, Connie’s voice fills the room. “Yeah so, I don’t really know whats going on here, but i’m gonna head out. Sasha is waiting for me with Marco.” He slides on a pair of shoes, grabs a bag and promptly leaves, but not before saying a goodbye, “See ya later Rocky, and Jean, I hope you choke on your food.”
To which, all Jean says is, “Yeah, whatever man.”
You watch him leave quietly, then turn back to face Jean, studying him for a moment. He hasn’t noticed your stares yet, not when he’s busying himself with pulling out what he needed for this dinner supposedly high rated by Michelin themselves.
Throughout the past year or so, you had noticed that when Jean was concentrating, he tended to screw up his face a little, eyebrows scrunched in, mouth quirked off to the side, usually whatever was in his hands was being toyed with. But right now, he was different. A content soft smile, and the look in his eyes was gentle. Fond. Domestic.
“Do you need help with anything?” You asked, feeling the need to do something other than just stand around.
Jean looked back up at you, bag of frozen broccoli in his hands. “Do you want to make the instant potatoes or the broccoli?”
You walked to him, and grabbed the bag from him, “Where do you keep your pots and pans?”
“Planning on making this a fancy dinner?” He paused, taking a moment to grab out a small pot for you, and then a lid. “Are you steaming them?”
You set the bag down, then eyed the pot and lid, “Would you happen to have one of those steaming baskets? Or do I need to get creative?”
Jean smiled sheepishly, “I’ve got Connie for a roommate. If I was Niccolo I would definitely have one of those, therefore, you’ll have to get creative. But you’re pretty smart, so I believe in you.”
You nodded slowly. That made sense. Jean and Connie were in the same boat as Sasha, Marco and yourself. If you had done more planning for dinner you probably could have worked something else with Niccolo to borrow his cooking supplies. Though you were sure that the guy would say no, as he was pretty particular about his things. Oh well. You’d have to figure something else.
The rest of the preparations went fine, and before you knew it, the two of you were sitting at a dingy table that each dorm room had, making small talk over left over chicken and mid-tier potatoes and broccoli.
“Okay, so I’ll bite. What’s your deal?” Jean asked suddenly, then his eyes went a little wide as he realized the wording of his question, “I mean! Uh…Well-”
You cut him off, easily able to tell what he meant, “Do you mean why do I have no life and only study and do my work alone?”
He melted under your gaze, before nodding slowly, “I meant it a little nicer though.”
“Its okay, I got what you meant…I think.” You set your fork down, suddenly scrutinizing a small crack in your plate.
Jean cleared his throat a bit before speaking again, “It’s just that…you spend so much time studying, and it definitely pays off. I’ve heard from Sasha that you have really good grades. But…”
“But?”
“They worry about you. Sasha and Marco that is…and well, I kind of do too. At least, more now that I know you a little better.”
You don’t respond. He’s going somewhere with this. You can tell by the cadence of his voice, how he seems to be picking his words carefully.
“I think that even just in the past few days, you’ve opened up a lot…I finally got to see you smile.” He paused, “I remember one time last year, in one of our shared classes, I went to see the professor, but you were already there, pleading with him for some extra credit. And when you came out, you look like you had been crying. The next day, I went out of my way to tell you a joke, hoping that maybe you’d smile.”
“I remember that. I told you that I was busy with a make up assignment and ignored you.” You hummed a little, thinking back to Jean back then. His hair was shorter, and he was even more obnoxious that he had been this year. It was one of the few times you had actually spoke to him at the time.
“So…I guess I was just wondering where all this pressure on you comes from?” He fidgets with something in his hands. Like when he’s focusing on his work. You’ve seen it countless times in the past, you just never thought about it until now.
With a sigh, you resign yourself to telling him a little bit about yourself, “I’ve lived here my whole life. And my whole life, I’ve basically been alone. Friends were hard to come by, especially after I decided that all I wanted to do was leave. So, with no one to hold me back, as long as I finish college strong, I can leave and go anywhere I want. I have to do this. Staying here is out of the question…” You trailed off, thinking about how you had never truly said these words out loud.
“But?” He spoke softly, as if he could tell that you had been battling with yourself on what you truly wanted. He stared at you, not through you as most other people did. Your heart sped up. What were you supposed to say now? You had only started to question your aspirations because of him. And you absolutely would not be sharing that thought now.
“But nothing. I meant what I said. I’m getting out of this hell and I’m not looking back. Ever.” you spat the words out, a sudden low and hollow feeling settling in your stomach. What were you doing? A small voice in the back of your head answered that question for you. The same one that you let control most of your college days. You were wasting time, you had assignments to do and a degree to work towards.
You moved to stand suddenly. “I have to go…I forgot that I’m supposed to meet with Armin tomorrow. I should really make sure that I’m ready to show him my part..and yours too.” You grabbed your backpack, and escaping out into the hall.
You stood there quietly, chest moving up and down as you took in harsh breaths, not entirely sure why you did all of that. With a shake of your head you made the journey back to your own dorm, not bothering to take off your shoes at the door like you normally did, instead you merely trudged into your room, tossing your bag onto the ground by your desk, and finding a seat on the edge of your bed.
“Are you okay?” Your freckled friend spoke up, nearly giving you a heart attack in the process. You hadn’t even noticed that he was home.
You didn’t answer. Instead, tears began to fill your eyes. He was by your side in an instant, arms wrapping around you carefully. Muffled sobs wracked your body. With each one Marco only hugged you a little tighter. He let you cry until you were done.
“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” The words fell from your lips, and you couldn’t stop what came after them, “This whole time i’ve had one goal; to graduate with soaring grades, and to leave. Make as few friends as possible so that way I wouldn’t get distracted…and so that leaving would be easier.”
“What changed then?” Marco asked, his voice soft and careful. You got the feeling that he already knew the answer.
“Jean. Jean crashed into my life and ruined my plans. I haven’t even really known him that long and suddenly I’m throwing away school just to hang out with him. I haven’t been studying the same way I used to, instead I’m playing volleyball with him, and he’s holding my hand as we run away. I’m sitting with him by that old tree and thinking about him instead of the words on my papers. I’m cooking with him and thinking about how muchI want to do it all again.” Your words are quiet, but Marco hears them all the same.
“You do know that those don’t have to be bad things, right?” He lets you go, taking a moment to scoot away ever so slightly, making you look up at his face, where a small smile rests, “It’s been nice to see you let loose. And I know that you’ve been enjoying yourself.”
You attempt to frown, “Thats not true.”
A beat passes and you speak again, “Okay. Maybe a little…but I-”
“No. No buts. You are the hardest working person I know. You are smart and you always apply yourself to your work. You are doing amazing. It’s time that you see that for yourself. You will finish school, and you will be able to go out into the world and do whatever you want to do, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait to have any of that fun. You deserve to enjoy your life, the one right now in the present that you are living, okay?”
His words played on repeat in your mind a few times, you tried to interalize them, make them into your own instead of letting that voice shoo them away.
“Okay.” You nodded, then brought a hand up to your face, covering your mouth for a moment, “I left Jean.”
“What?”
“We were eating dinner and talking and then I got upset and I just…I just left. “
Marco pursed his lips, nodding slightly as he tried to imagine the scene. Jean sitting alone at his table, probably confused and wondering what he did wrong. “Well…theres only so much you can do about that, which I suggest texting him. Let him know that you’re alright, and just so that the poor guy doesn’t overthink, that he didn’t cause you to run off.”
You nodded, “Right. Okay. I can do that.”
It grew quiet between you and Marco, though it didn’t last very long. There was a light tone in his voice, one he used when he wanted to tease someone without making them aware of it, though you had learned to recognize it fairly well.
“So, I’m assuming that you like Jean…at least a little bit.”
“Okay. Get off my bed. This moment is over.” You push him gently, facing away from Marco.
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Oh would you look at the time? I should really head to bed, okay goodnight Marco, get off my bed.”
He laughed, and did as you said, letting you have the room so you could change, “goodnight lovebird.”
Ignoring him as best as you could, you changed quickly, and crawled right back into your bed, under the safety of your comforter. Once there, you pulled out your phone, fingers trembling as you brought up the chat with Jean.
You stared at it for a moment. The last messages were from earlier this day. He hadn’t said anything since then.
Slowly you typed out an apology. “Hey Jean, I’m really sorry for just bailing earlier. Super not cool of me.”
You groaned at the words, quickly backspacing and starting again. “Sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to just leave you there. I promise things are fine. It wasn’t you, or the food for that matter.”
You hit send, not giving yourself time to overthink the text any longer.
Fairly quick after your message had been sent, Jean had already replied. “Its okay! You had me worried for a minute there. Thought maybe the food tasted so bad that you just had to leave to get an actual five star dinner.”
He was being courteous. Trying to keep the conversation light as to not scare you off again.
Your fingers flew across the keyboard once more, “Let me make it up to you. Friday, 11am, at the museum.”
“You really don’t have to make anything up to me, I get it.”
“Jean. Just let me feel bad and try to make it up. Or else I will think about this all night.”
His next message wasn’t exactly what you thought he’d say…or actually, it was exactly what he would say, “Oh, so if I don’t let you have your way, you will be up all night…thinking about me?”
“No.” You hit send. Then sent another message, “Ykw nevermind. I’m not sorry. Be on time friday or else.”
He was quick to shoot back another response, “Okay fine. Make it up to me.”
Then another message, “How do you plan on doing that anyways?”
“You’ll see. Be patient.”
It wasn’t long after that did you eventually fall asleep. The next day was pretty uneventful. Your meeting with Armin was fine, as the guy already had about half of the presentation outline done, and with all of the information and other necessary work that you had gathered, Armin would most likely have the whole thing done by the time he went to bed that night.
The rest of the day passed quickly, almost too quickly for your liking. Before you knew it, your alarm was going off, signalling that it was ten twenty-five in the morning.
You had spent some time the day before thinking of how to make up for ditching Jean the other night, and finally settled on an idea. Said idea was currently sitting on your desk, inside a plastic bag.
You gave it a quick look before climbing out of your bed, moving to your dresser to get ready for the day.
You had just thrown on your shoes, sparing a glance at your phone to the time. It was eleven. You were going to be late. Of course after all that talk to Jean about being on time, you were going to be running behind this time. You could only imagine what he would have to say about it.
You hurriedly grabbed the bag from your desk, and shoved your phone into you pocket after sending yet another apology to Jean.
The trip to the museum took about twenty minutes with public transport. It was eleven twenty-three and you had finally made it to the museum doors.
Jean was standing just to the right of them, staring down at his phone, his back to you. You watched as he brought his phone to his ear, and smiled slightly as your phone buzzed in your pocket.
You let it ring. Walking up and tapping his shoulder a few times. “Sorry I’m late.”
He spun around, eyes landing on your form. His mouth hung up for a moment before he hung up the phone call, “Is this to get back at me for the other day?”
“No…I just slept past my first alarm.”
“Oh so when you’re late its okay but when I’m late its the worst thing ever.”
You shrugged slightly, “I at least texted you in advance.” You paused, then remembered the bag you were holding, “Oh…um. I got you this. To make up for bailing.”
He eyed the bag suspiciously, “I thought I told you not to worry about it.”
“I worried about it. Now just say thanks and take the bag from me.” You rushed the words out, holding it out to him, “No refunds so you have to keep it.”
His fingers deftly took the plastic handles from you, and reached inside the bag. You watched quietly as he lifted the gift out, eyes softening as he realized what it was.
“You bought me a new sketchbook?” He hummed a little, looking at the cover for a few moments, “This is a really nice brand too. I’ve always wanted to try it out.”
“Your other one looked a little full the other day…so I figured I could afford a nice one to say that I’m sorry. “
Jean let the sketchbook slide back into the bag, “Well…thank you. I really appreciate this.” He toed something on the ground, eyes unable to find yours.
You instead took this moment to find the exhibit tickets on your phone, nudging him slightly, “Let’s get going, there’s a couple of pieces I think we should look at specifically.”
Once inside, you took a few moments to study the map of the place, trying to figure out which hall you needed to go to, before Jean took your hand in his, face a little flushed as he did so.
“I come here pretty often, most of the new exhibits are near the back on the first floor.” He said, pulling you along with him.
It wasn’t too crowded, and as most museums were, it was quiet. A nice solitude for those who liked to hide away from the world, and find new ones in the art and historical pieces sheltered there.
When the both of you made it to the exhibit, you found that you were the only ones there. Meaning that you could stare at the art as long as you needed. Which you did. Slowly you let Jean’s hand slip from yours.
You hadn’t thought about seeing the art in real life, and how much it would effect you. Entrap you in every single paint stroke, every single carving of marble. It was beautiful. Clearly the story that was assigned to you had meant a lot the various artists.
You found Jean staring at a drawing. It was mostly in charcoal, though some color had been added here and there, giving the piece whimsical dimension. It looked to be a tree. A large, barren tree in a valley of never ending sand. From the branches, blue and green spilled out across the paper, spanning what would be the sky.
“You like this one?” You asked with a hush, not wanting to startle him.
He nodded, “It’s simple, but I just know that the artist put a lot of work into it. Every line is purposeful. And we will never truly know what it means.” He responded, eyes traveling down to the plaque, where it read the piece’s title, “Paths.” With an unnamed author.
You let him look at the drawing for as long as he needed. You wandered to a sculpture on display a few steps to the right. It seemed to be one of the titans depicted in the story. Creme colored marble in the form of a woman, skeletal mouth open in what the book claimed to be a war cry. There were ribs formed around her abdomen. Her hand outstretched towards the open air. From this perspective, despite the lack of facial features, the statue almost looked sad. A women with an extraordinary ability, forced to use it for harm, all because she was in love with the wrong person. At least, that’s what you wanted to think. You were sure that others in your class thought the opposite. Which of course was exactly what your analysis was going to focus on.
You studied it for a few more moments, before looking away, finding Jean now standing across the room, in front of another painting. You moved to stand next to him, looking at what held his attention.
It was of a starry night sky, bathed in dark blues and purples. Underneath, was a lone pig in a field, head faced towards the grass.
“This is what started the book, right?” You asked, watching as he nodded once.
“But that’s not what i’m thinking about.”
“Then what’s going on in your mind?”
Jean looked back to you, smiling sideways, “Why did you wait the other night, at the field? I figured that you were waiting for a star, but why?”
You brought your eyes back to the painting, looking from the dark green grass, to the pig that was grazing on it peacefully, then to a star painted to be the brightest one there.
“When I was younger, I used to stand outside, or at my window, and just wait. As soon as I saw the first star of the night, I made a wish on it.” You paused, thinking back on your childhood, “I used to wish for a friend, or someone more than that. I was pretty lonely as a kid. Eventually I started wishing for a future other than that…and then, I stopped wishing. I still would wait for the star, but I made sure that I wasn’t relying on a ball of gas in the sky to make my wishes come true.”
“I’d say that they came true then.” Jean turned his body to face yours, looking down towards you, some thought dancing in his eyes.
You mimicked his motion, allowing yourself to face him fully, “And what makes you say that?”
“You’ve made two whole friends.”
“I’ve made three.” You corrected him softly, thinking back to your first conversation about it with him, “Sasha and Marco are very nice people who I like a lot.” You state matter of factly.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “And the third? Don’t tell me it’s Floch…or even worse, Eren.”
“Mmm close. It’s you.”
He places a hand to his heart, dramatic words escaping him, “How long have I waited for you to realize that you and I are friends.”
“You’re still horribly pleasant.” You remark, shaking your head, “Maybe I should take it back about being friends.”
“Too late, you already said it. No refunds.” He drew closer to you, enough to where you could feel his warmth. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Isn’t that technically already a question?” You pause, then nod to him, “But, yeah, go for it.”
“When you graduate, and leave this town. Will you forget about your friends?”
You hesitate. You knew that he wasn’t really asking about Marco or Sasha. You can feel your stomach flip over a few times, that annoying feeling of nervousness that came whenever you thought about Jean.
“No. I wont. How could I?” Your words seem to have some sort of effect on Jean, as he dodesn’t speak. You continue, trying to pick your words carefully, “When it comes to you, specifically you…I would have one hell of a time forgetting you, Jean.”
“I am pretty cool…” He mumbles, then swallows his pride, “But, what if I don’t want you to remember me?”
You tilt your head to the side, giving him a confused look, but still allowing him to continue.
“I just mean…what if I want to be remembered as not just a friend. As more than that?”
He locks eyes with you, his face serious as he waits for you to say something, to say anything really.
You swear that your heart stops beating altogether. It wasn’t one sided. You thought back to your conversation with Marco from two nights before. You deserved this. Deserved to enjoy yourself. To let yourself live a little.
“I think i’d like that.” You smile warmly, “Because I like you Jean. I tried really hard not to, but I do. And maybe, just maybe I don’t want to look back on college and only remember you as a friend.” You pause, taking in a small breath and willed yourself to finish your thought, “Maybe, after I graduate, we both can look back on the time. Together.”
“So, you don’t want to skip town and never look back?” he asks
“Skip town? Still do, but I can’t afford to ignore my time here.”
“What if I came with you when you leave.” it’s less of a question, and more of an idea.
“Let’s just get to graduation first, Jean.”
He lets out a breathy laugh, nodding as he does, “Got ahead of myself there. But I have one more question.”
You study him for a moment, just as you had been studying the rest of the art in the museum. “You know, you were only supposed to ask one question anyways.”
“Last one, I promise.”
“Okay, okay, what is it?”
“Can I kiss you?”
You’re suddenly all too aware of the small gap in your bodies, and his baited breath, and the sensation in your stomach that feels less like churning water and more like butterflies floating around blooming flowers. You hardly hear yourself tell him yes.
The stiffness leaves Jean’s body, and he brings his hand free from the plastic bag up to your face, cupping your cheek lightly. His hand is warm, but not as warm as your flushed face is. His thumb moves back and forth slightly as he pulls you to him. His lips are soft, and you can feel his lashes flutter against your cheek. You easily find it in you to move in sync with him, allowing yourself to lean into the kiss, a small smile finding its way onto your face.
He lets you pull away first. And for a moment all the two of you can do is stand there. You’re sure that you could stand there all day with him.
You let him speak first.
“So, am I still horrible?”
“Horribly, yet pleasantly charming. Yes.”
#jean attack on titan#jean kirstein#jean kirstein x reader#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan#aot#aot fic#aot x reader#jean kirschtein#jean kirschtein fic
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I'm curious if you've come across any examples of what you would consider effective communication or collective organizing around Covid? I know of a few groups who I think are doing good work to get people access to masks and rapid tests, making connections to broader issues such as lack of sick leave, barriers to healthcare etc, but they're also relying on things like questionable wastewater data extrapolation to make their points. I don't really know what to do about the latter issue, since we've just had access to all data taken away from us by the government. (I know it's not an effective tool for collective action, but tbh I also struggle with the idea that all alarmism is bad, because I am high risk and I am scared!)
well 1st of all to be clear, i think wastewater data are valuable and i do look at them. what i don't do is make wildly overconfident guesses from those data about exactly how many people are infected, how many sick people are standing in any given room, how many people will eventually qualify for a long covid dx, etc. i think wastewater data are a rough proxy but still an important one, and generally more useful at the local level (where they can be cross-referenced with factors like vaccine uptake, circulating variants, and municipal public health policy) than at national or regional levels (where the necessary amount of aggregation makes it difficult to tease out much useful information about any one town or city).
2nd, i don't know what country you live in but i do look in on CDC's covid dashboard, which includes data on hospitalisations, emergency department visits, deaths, vaccine uptake, test positivity rates, &c. if this is applicable to you i strongly encourage always reading the footnotes as these statistics vary in accuracy (in particular, test positivity rate is very unreliable at this point). i consider a lot of these numbers useful primarily as indicators of comparative risk: eg, i assume hospitalisation numbers have been inaccurate lowballs for the entirety of the pandemic; however, it is still useful imo to see whether that number is trending in a particular direction, and how it compares over time. again, local results are sometimes more helpful as well. i also glance in on the census bureau's household pulse survey results, which come out numerous times throughout the year and include questions about duration of covid symptoms, ability to function, and vaccine uptake. these numbers skew in the opposite direction to many of CDC's, because the phrasing of the covid questions is intended to be broad, and does not attempt to distinguish between the sort of long covid that entails a 6 or 12 month recovery period, vs the sort of long covid that turns out to be me/cfs or other chronic long-term post-viral complications. again, i still think these numbers are useful for viewing trends over time; no data will ever be completely 100% without flaw, and i'm not holding out for that. what does frustrate me, though, is people (with any and all ideological axes to grind!) interpreting any of these numbers as though they are in fact perfect flawless representations of reality, with no further caveats or critical analysis needed. that's what i'm pushing back on, whether it comes from the "pulse survey says long covid prevalence is decreasing, so fuck it!" crowd or the "biobot says last week was a micro-surge so we're all going to die!" crowd.
as far as local orgs or groups doing actual action, like distributing masks or vaccine clinics, i don't put so much stock in what they say on instagram or whatever because frankly i think it matters very little. the masks and vaccines and air filters and so forth are useful in themselves; that work is valuable. if someone's positioning themselves primarily as a communicator then yes, i'm going to scrutinise their communication methods more. if it's an action org i'm honestly less concerned, unless there is egregiously unreliable information being propagated or they're communicating in the sort of stigmatising manner that many peak Posters have adopted (people who got sick are stupid / immoral / deserve it, etc).
i'd also just like to make it clear that like... i live with someone who is at high risk, i accordingly treat my own covid precautions as though i am also at high risk, and i wouldn't want covid regardless... like, please understand that when i talk about this i'm not coming at it from a perspective of someone who's unaware of the need for caution! my concern is, again, that caution and risk discussion are not synonymous with "making frightened guesses and asserting them with 100% confidence" or "selectively attributing truth to data because they agree with me, regardless of the actual methodology and any problems therein". i understand that when people are behaving recklessly and being encouraged to do so by state and medical authorities, it is tempting to look at that situation and think that communicating the seriousness of the virus is worth risking a little bit of inaccuracy if it protects people. however, i do not think that strategy actually pays off in the long or short term as far as changing people's behaviour (if it did, wouldn't it have by now?) and i think it is playing with fire to encourage this manner of interpreting and disseminating scientific information as though it is a kind of ideological buffet requiring no further verification or investigation beyond a cherry-picked deference to the stated objectivity and ideals of The Scientific Method.
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Fable and ic relationship
Fable cares abt them but not enough
Ic defends him because losing him would mean losing hope of fixing things and saving centross. Fable isn't really their father anymore, he's more like a God to them, one they turn to at every challenge, one they turn to for guidance in every single situation, and he is a God, but to not the in the way they treat him
They aren't really his child anymore, not entirely, their relationship doesn't feel like parent-child (to me) and icarus calls them fable now too, fable lost the title of dad when he tried to kill them, and they might be working with him and brushing that fact off, because right now they need him, but they're only keeping him around while he's useful. Icarus is falling for his manipulation consciously, they choose to believe the lies because they don't think they have a choice, and they know he's a bad person, but as they pointed out, they've done everything he has but they didn't have a good reason, and if he's bad for doing that with a good reason then what are they. And that goes all the way back to how corruption affected them because their brain absolutely changed from corruption, cc!sherbs even mentioned that enderian ignoring them has had a massive impact on how they're acting now, and we can see how the arson never really went away. They kept the idea that whatever they did was them, fully them, not anybody else or outside influence, but they lost the idea that they were doing the right thing, and now it means that they're taking the full brunt of that and thinking that everything they did they could do again if they're not careful, and they've never seen any sort of evidence to the contrary. What with nearly killing centross and everything. They keep saying it, that they only ever make mistakes, and honestly, it makes sense why. Literally everything they've ever been good at has been soured for them. Flight- quixis sure fucked up their wings and theyve died from falling what 20 times now, fighting (let's be real they're good at fighting and the only reason it's not canon is bc cc!sherb is a wimp) and the first reset sure was mostly them fighting their friends, alchemy- they sure fucking blew up a potion and knocked out Rae causing Easton to go blind and they sure do blame themself for that not to mention scoria and perix and the various really bad effects they've made (they've actively wondered if alchemy in general is bad in canon before during the scoria stream), so on and so forth. They definitely know that they're making a mistake, but to give up is to lose everything that is holding them together, and now they've fucked up every other option they mightve had, so even if they wanted to stop, they don't exactly have anywhere to turn.
Um. That's probably mostly incoherent bc there was no actual organization to this post just a bunch of rambling so have fun with that. I'll clean this up at some point. I should probably just put together a full character analysis abt icarus bc I have so many thoughts huh
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If a Ranger dies while their still-in-training apprentice survives, then that apprentice carries their Oakleaf until graduation around their wrist. When they graduate, they have a choice between getting their own Oakleaf or inheriting their Mentors.
No apprentice has ever chosen a new Oakleaf for themselves.
@brilliantinsultsgalore ‘s hc ^ (from a post of rangerthursday’s) has spawned this devastating idea in my head.
imagine an au where halt dies for will somewhere in the whole skandia plotline. and will does this. gilan taking will aside on the docks as crowley stood, frozen, unable to comprehend that halt was dead and gone, and tying the leather cord with shaking hands around will’s thin wrist. tears sliding down both their faces.
gilan probably took will on as his apprentice. their mentor-apprentice relationship was a little unique for its near-equal, older brother-younger brother dynamic — and part of that was very intentionally done by gilan because he wanted will to be sure that he wouldn’t ever try to take the place of halt in will’s life, but also partially because gilan was unsure of himself and felt he couldn’t teach will as well as halt would have.
crowley was hesitant at first to let gilan take will on since gilan was pretty inexperienced and rather young for an apprentice. but gilan was the one who welcomed will back from skandia and cared for him 24/7 through that initial week back filled with a constant onslaught of night terrors and flashbacks and panic attacks. not that they stopped then, but the healer they were working with had suggested they try going back to a gentler training schedule to put some normalcy and structure into will’s life. and when will had said that he really, really didn’t want to be apprenticed to anyone besides gilan, gilan had been determined to move heaven and earth to make it happen. so crowley resigned himself to the fact that halt passed on his stubborn, fierce protectiveness to gilan (and was secretly warmed to see the strength of love and family created between the two apprentices of his, uh, his lifelong best friend), and let gilan take will on, so long as gilan regularly kept in touch with crowley and another nearby senior ranger (in a neighboring fief), in case gilan ever had any questions or wanted advice.
and after the first months of gilan being will’s mentor went amazingly well (within the context of will continuing to work through the trauma of skandia — halt’s death as well as all the canon things)), crowley moved the two of them back to redmont. because honestly, they both know the fief very well from their time with halt, and the duo were proving very capable. and not that crowley said it in his reasoning, but redmont was closer to araluen than meric fief, and this way crowley could visit them much easier.
at some point, will takes to rubbing at halt’s oakleaf on his wrist as a sort of comfort/nervous fidget, and some of the scuffing on its surface left by halt’s everyday wear starts to fade, polished away by time and will’s rough fingertips. will panics when he first realizes this because he feels like he’s erasing the evidence of halt from it, and gilan finds him on the edge of a panic attack one day, going back and forth between saying it’s a stupid worry then sobbing that he had failed halt — which was really about will’s survivor’s guilt, his deep fear that he hadn’t done enough and it was his fault, that he should have saved halt or halt shouldn’t have had to save him in the first place. gilan knows that deeper issue isn’t something he can solve right then, but he could sit with him and help will at least see that no matter how the oakleaf changed, it was and always would be halt’s oakleaf — and one day, also will’s, because there was never any doubt about that. and gilan and also is like. well maybe rub the back and edges more since most of the scratches and dings and stuff are on the front right? and will is like. oh. right. yes. (and then gilan jokingly affects a stern look, reminding will of what they’d just said about how, whatever he does, will is not erasing halt from the oakleaf either way — gilan’s way of gently and humorously making sure will got the point of their talk, which he did).
and later, halt’s oakleaf turns into a sort of anchor point of halt’s memory for will and he starts staring at it as he has the whole ‘hearing the voice of someone you know very well in your head randomly popping in to give you advice or respond to something’, and then also when he thinks ‘what would halt do?’. (though he often stares more at his wrist and sleeve since he keeps the oakleaf tucked away a fair amount of the time so it isn’t dangling about and getting in the way of everything he did). then will starts more directly engaging with his mental!halt and uses the oakleaf as a conduit for that, eventually sometimes even talking out loud to the pendant and lowkey processing a lot of his grief by talking to halt via the oakleaf.
gilan finds will doing this one day and will is rather horrified and embarrassed until gilan pulls back his sleeve and shows will a bronze oakleaf around his wrist — gilan’s old apprentice necklace. gilan quietly explains how he wears it as a tribute to his mentor and father-figure, as a way of saying halt will always be gilan’s mentor and gilan always his apprentice, to hold close his memories of him time spent with halt (much of it happening when it was that necklace around his neck), and as a way of taking halt with him wherever he goes. and gilan says the oakleaf has come to represent halt for him too and that, sometimes, he also talks to halt through it, holding the pendant in both his hands and closing his eyes. gilan then reaches and takes will’s hand to lead him back to the cabin. their clasped hands are the ones each chose to wear the oakleaf on (will’s right and gilan’s left), and the bronze and silver metal gently bump against each other with a light ting! as they walk back together.
will almost doesn’t make it through his own graduation. gilan and crowley decided to keep to just the three of them, guessing that will wouldn’t want to have to deal with a big party. it would be hard enough already with halt’s painfully obvious absence at what was one of the most important events in will’s life, one where halt should have been present more than anyone else. will is eternally grateful to them for it. he decides to celebrate with his friends with a night out a few days later, and it doesn’t hurt as badly then.
after his graduation, with the familiar weight of halt’s silver oakleaf now pressed over his heart, will’s wrist felt oddly bare and untethered, so at gilan’s suggestion, he also begins wearing his old apprentice oakleaf on his wrist.
crowley smiled when he saw this. all those years ago, pritchard had fashioned a rough sort of bronze oakleaf for halt at the one year mark of halt’s unofficial apprenticeship. one night after duncan et. al. had chased morgarath back to the mountains of rain and night post-hackham heath, crowley and halt were alone back at castle araluen and with a night to themselves. halt quietly told crowley the story behind that oakleaf and then gave it to crowley, telling him he wanted crowley to have it. and crowley gives halt his apprentice oakleaf in return. crowley saw gilan with his apprentice oakleaf tied around his wrist when gilan and will had stopped by castle araluen on the way to redmont from meric, and when they left, he took halt’s apprentice oakleaf from where he had kept it in a little box and tied it gently around his own wrist.
halt’s death changed them all, forever. crowley would never again love like he had loved halt with his entire being and then more. will would never feel the love of a father, see someone like his father as he had in halt. gilan would never again trust so wholly, in unfettered totality, like he had trusted halt.
but it would be okay.
on the first anniversary of halt’s death, crowley had ridden quietly to halt’s old cabin and spent the night with gilan and will. at first, they just sat together in silence, alone together around the crackling fire. then, crowley pulled back his sleeve, showed will and gilan the rough little oakleaf dangling there, and told them its story. they spent that night crying and laughing with each other in turn, telling stories about halt, remembering the mentor and father and love of a lif-uh, best friend, that he had been to them. and so, they found they had created their own little family in one other. they were gathered at the start by the almost magnetic quality of halt’s presence that drew them all in. they were bound together by their love for halt and their grief at his death. and now, they saw their love for each other was beginning to grow and fill in the cracks. in time, it would become enough to glue them back together into something new. not quite whole. not quite broken. but okay. loved.
family.
#consistent tense who?#tense what tense#it's a hc and I take that as lawful permission to absolutely screw over verb tenses of this strange language called english#ranger's apprentice#ra#ra fic#will treaty#gilan davidson#crowley meratyn#halt o'carrick#ra headcannon#cralt#found family#I'm sorry#y'all can blame @brilliantinsultsgalore it was her hc that started this all#major character death#oops I messed up the tag the first time my b
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what do you think about the concept of the comic kids stumbling upon ericsons instead of clem leaving?
It's a fine concept that I doubt anyone would actually implement into their fanworks because comic bad. Most fans are too pissy about the comics to see any further than the tips of their nose, and I totally get it but it's kind of unfortunate for me since it limits the discussions significantly. I can only hear the same, "the comics ruined Clementine and TWDG, Tillie Walden bad, Skybound bad," so many times before I'm so tired that I retire to my chair with a glass of tea to stare disappointedly into the great nothing and deteriorate.
So, for fun, some ideas to toss out there:
As I said in my previous post, Amos would love Ericson. The dude would be all over the place and determined to make as many new friends as possible. I think Olivia would enjoy it, too, and maybe Georgia wouldn't be a half-assed villain... or she could've been made into a great villain... just saying, Georgia could've gotten in good with Marlon, learned about the raiders, and then convinced him to trade Amos away as a means of keeping him away from Olivia. Though, she might not have anything to worry about in this case; I maintain that Amos would've had a major crush on Ruby.
But then we get to Ricca. Within the comics, her character falters due to being Clementine's main love interest. As a concept, Ricca isn't actually that bad. It's the execution and how she's portrayed as a love interest that makes me not like her, so if we remove that, she has a shot at being a compelling character... because we're not sending her to Ericson to be a love interest, or shove her into a love triangle/square with Clementine and Louis/Violet. I think she'd get along with most of the Ericson crew, except I think she'd really butt heads with Marlon and Mitch. I can see her getting on well with Violet, too. I know saying they're alike in a lot of ways could be considered as offensive by some sensitive fans, but they're both queer girls with religious backgrounds and familial trauma and I think it's okay to entertain the idea that they'd get along. Also, they both have snark to them that could easily be bounced back and forth... or at someone else. Probably Louis, or Amos.
And honestly bring everyone except Morro from Book Two to Ericson. Get John away from his abusive mother. Let Amir be friends with AJ, Tenn, and Willy and teach them to play new games and stuff. Emi could teach them better ways to fish and could even go on longer trips to bring back bigger hauls for the group. Fen would love the school setting and would search everywhere for different maps and information about Taiwan. Hell, bring Giles and Ginette, the old French couple who don't speak much English. Let them settle down with little Mercy at Ericson where they can teach everyone how to knit and build stuff and just be grandparents to all these troubled youth.
Yeah, the comics suck, but what's a fandom to do other than take things they don't like and change them to be something they do, yeah?
#asks#twdg clementine#twdg louis#twdg violet#twdg aj#twdg ruby#twdg marlon#twdg mitch#twdg willy#twdg tenn
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how are things? and I was wondering if you've got a favorite fic that you wrote or if its just too hard to choose?
i've been down with a cold so things are kinda annoying but it seems to be getting better at least so maybe things are looking up :'D thanks for asking!
oh damn. it is hard to choose. and it also depends on my mood, and like... some are faves because they were fun to write, some because i like how the end result turned out, some bc friends liked them, and so forth. it depends on what kind of a favorite we're looking for :3
i scrolled through my RE fics and tried to pick only the top faves and still ended up with thirty fics :'D (and sorta sad bc so many of them were not crowd pleasers lmao)
but! shameless self-recs under the cut! (it got long lol sorry)
we didn't know how to fly so high (burned down before we reached the sky) (Chris/Leon) - this one's special because it's the first RE fic I wrote and it's what ended a three year dry spell of me not writing a single thing. it's also special because back then i could go "OH ONE NOTE!" and post the second chapter lol.
haunting in my head (tempting me, inviting me to fall asleep in its arms) (Piers/Leon) - since I picked the first one, I'm also gonna pick the latest one. this was the kind of an idea that plagued me until I got it written and i'm super pleased with how it worked out!
and it's kind of obligatory for me to mention the self-indulgent series, because for so long it was what kept me going and what kept me writing when nothing else worked. it might not be the best thing i've written but it's for sure what i've poured most love in.
tear me open (and make me whole again) (Piers/Leon, past Krauser/Leon) - from my whumptober fics this one i was the most excited about. i know it's got quite a bit of violence in it but like. i thought it hit all the right notes emotionally too, and i honestly wished it would've done better. i think it's worth it! am still happy with how it turned out.
(honorable mention to haunt you like it's part of you, another Piers/Leon and past Krauser/Leon, which is something i am really really into but apparently it's just me :'D but I really like the way the pairings clearly contrast each other tbh, i just think it's neat)
in the end it's you and I (Piers/Leon) - this is another whumptober fic I was super excited for! i'm beyond pleased with how it turned out and at least I feel all the right emotions while reading it.
all the things you are (Jake/Piers) - honestly I could've picked pretty much any of the Piers/Jake fic I've written because they were all really fun to write and their dynamic is super fun :'D I love the little bits in re6 where they interact bc they get on each other's nerves in all the right ways!
when it comes to metaltango, they're pretty much all close to my heart lol but can't help but follow in spite of going insane is something i regularly think back to and am still happy with how it turned out. same with the Krauser's back series, and question all my doubts, especially.
never too much to ask for (Piers/Leon) - this one is so very very important to me because LEON LEARNS TO BE LOVED. he learns to not only accept comfort but actually ASK FOR IT and it makes me emotional just to think about it 🥺
gonna show you tonight (Piers/Leon) - this one just makes me very happy.
and then there are the Piers/Leon ones where I've inserted Piers into a game/movie he isn't in, and honestly, those are ALL something I've had fun with and love the results! there's re2 with Piers, re4 with Piers, Damnation with Piers, and a combo of re4/Vendetta/og stuff with Piers! also the other re2 with Piers but that one only has one chapter for now so :'D
heal the scars and change the stars (Piers/Leon) - this one was based on a dream I had and I can still remember the exact vibe of the dream, and the way it haunted me afterwards, and I'm honestly really happy with the fic too. I have a thing for breaking up and getting back together it seems :'D
you're a dream (Piers/Leon) - this is something I've always always wanted to write, because soulmate aus are interesting but I've always gravitated towards imperfect soulmate systems, where it takes real effort to find them, and it's not so clear cut. and I honestly love how this turned out.
at the shore of the unknown (Piers/Leon) - another thing i always wanted to do was a soft apocalypse. this was supposed to be the first fic of a series, and the series is probably not happening, but i'm still content with the mood of this fic as is :3 i love these... slow empty worlds.
before I even knew your name (Piers/Leon) - THIS! this was SO MUCH FUN i don't know if I've ever had as much fun writing a fic :'D idk it was such a joy.
i crave therefore i am (Piers/Leon) - this fic however fought me every single step of the way, i wrote it like three times, and hated half of the process lmao, but i do love how it turned out. and the first scene is one of my all time favorite scenes i've ever written in my life.
to feel again (fwb!Chris/Leon at first, Piers/Leon eventually) - this was supposed to be a quick little oneshot but in the end it spiraled into something longer, and I do love it. like. the whole point of the Chris/Leon bit was that neither of them is the bad guy or wrong but they just weren't right for each other at that point in time, and then I enjoyed letting Leon build trust and a new relationship with Piers slowly at his own pace. 10/10 would write again :'D
last chance garage (ot3) - this one was very emotional to write and also got SO out of hand bc it was supposed to be like 1k max and in the end I wrote 8k lol. but it's my favorite ot3 fic.
winter lovin' (there's snow one like you) (Piers/Leon) - this one is super special to me because it happens in Finland :D they're vacationing on my home turf lol. but also because they're so in love, and they get to have fun and be together and. idk. the whole fic makes me all "🥺💖" like i literally turn into a physical embodiment of those two emojis. i love the fic.
stay until the end of life (Piers/Leon) - this one was also very emotional to write and I wanted to put them through a lot, and show how they really are in it for better and for worse. i wanted to show the struggles too, like... they love each other. they wanna be there for each other. but it's not always that easy. and I do think it worked out great.
three words to last forever (Piers/Leon) - I'm gonna end this way too long list with this because it's the first (and so far only) time I wrote a "choose your own ending" story and it was so much fun! I wish I could do a bigger story where you get to make multiple choices, but that would require some serious brainstorming lol. anyhow, I'm happy I got to do this! and happy with it turned out! especially the saddest ending :'D
now I'll shut up with my deepest apologies lmao.
#i know it's like 90% nivannedy#but what can i say#they've invaded my brain#there are other pairings in there too tho lol#anonymous#ask and i shall answer#me and my fics#re answers
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Sooooo I am very curious about your Durge and how they are built. Do they link into the lore of the earlier games? Are they a resist or accept type? Tell us more! 👀
You mean built as in "how Bhaal made him", or as in character build, or as in characterisation? Well, I'll answer them all anyway. Here's more rambling information than anyone needed about my fucked up, socially-unacceptable mess who needs therapy!
[Be aware dead doves may be present, ymmv]
Resist, technically. He woke up with a tadpole in his head and no memories, he wasn't going to trust a presence in the back of his head that kept stealing his bodily autonomy until he understood what it was. As he grew fond of his party, he began to be pushed towards doing good things and helping people to please them (and because it honestly does feel good to see people happy, even as it makes the Urge hurt him).
Of course there were a few exceptions where nobody except Astarion was looking where he was a bit pragmatic or just plain mean, because it was funny.
Then he got his memories back in Act 3 and had a full blown nervous breakdown as he realised how badly he had failed Father and his sole reason for existence by allowing himself to fall for the delusion that he was a real person.
He tried to go back to just being Bhaal's evil little puppet, but it was too late and his loyalties were torn between being what his friends wanted and being what Bhaal wanted. There was another panic attack when he couldn't bring himself to kill Minsc because it would upset Jaheria, Wyll and Karlach. Still murdered a few innocent people and a celestial being behind their backs. Also every Flaming Fist in the Lower City, but that was their own fucking fault for having stupid AI.
Turns out you can't have everyone you love, but luckily he got to solve this issue by letting Father kill him as punishment for his failure! He repents for his failure and his friends get to believe that he died a heroic sacrifice and move on with their lives - win-win! Except that Jergal interfered and now he has to carry around this tainted, stolen flesh he doesn't want to claim - damn you, old man.
Post-game he's living with Astarion; both having their bad days where they have time to stop and process their trauma now, and also having good days where they adventure; grow into being fully free willed individuals; hunt and kill people for fun, blood and profit where socially acceptable; and get some research done on stuff like Bhaalspawn and vampires.
He'll probably be ok in, like, a decade or twenty, once he's finished coming to terms with the idea that he was genuinely miserable and terrified living under Bhaal's control and has formed his own life and a stable identity. In the meantime - abandonment issues, identity crises, issues about autonomy, paranoia about retaliation and religious guilt!
If he had failed in his duel against Orin and been condemned to lose his autonomy (and seen his friends immediately give up on him), or had he not been given death as a choice, he probably would've forsaken the party and fulfilled his original purpose in the end game. But he would've quickly killed them in their sleep first as a mercy! He's not totally heartless! He's an absolute mess.
He doesn't have much in the way of connections to the original games.
I go back and forth on how old I want him to be and haven't settled yet. I don't think he's young. Originally I had him be born in the temples before the Time of Troubles, along with the other Bhaalspawn but then it turned out that Durge's backstory is weird.
Going off of what we're told about being carved from Bhaal's dead flesh, having no birthday and being conceived beyond mortality, I'm assuming he was created from a part of Bhaal's corpse on the Astral Plane, where there was no time. Probably shortly after the end of Throne of Bhaal, in 1369 DR - maybe Bhaal was paranoid about Amelyssan and Bhaal's failure to be resurrected triggered the failsafe and initiated plan B: the Dark Urge.
Or Vel was born after 1372 DR, when Bane was reborn and Bhaal maybe felt a little insecure.
I have contemplated having my Charname meddle with his "birth" to piss Bhaal off, adding part of her own essence into the mixture. Technically it's not incest, because it's purely by magic, but it's still enough to make her sort of his mother and make it weird. Just to make the family tree even more complicated. Also technically makes him a half-human, half-hin, sun elf, quasi-deity. Nothing in this guy's life makes sense.
He's a ranger, because hey, he's a hunter - he just hunts people. He's comfortable hunting and surviving in urban or natural environments; he learned to live off the streets while being homeless after his foster family's death (and the subsequent massacre at the Ilmatari shrine that sheltered him) and learned to live off the land after fleeing into the wilds to lie low. It's also how he's familiar with poisons and venoms. He has an interest in death as part of the natural cycle, so the nature class suits him. Also likes animals, who are significantly less judgemental and more pragmatic about killing. Scavengers tend to follow him around for the corpses he leaves, and he ended up with a few rat and corvid animal companions (though Bhaal often forced him to kill them if he got too attached).
It also lets me play a divine spellcaster, although I assume in his case the power is coming from his own soul rather than a patron god.
He's a divine being and an excellent killer, he knows this and it gives him self-confidence in his actions that some have described as "insufferably arrogant" or "suicidal". His go-to tactics for dealing with a problem are:
Step 1) Promise death if subject does not submit
Step 2) If subject does not submit; kill them
Skipping to step two is also always on the table. All problems can be solved with murder.
His dump stat is intelligence, because the poor kid who ended up alone and homeless didn't have much time or resources for education. In another life he would've been a bard, he has a knack for carrying a tune and writing prose. I like to think Orin would've enjoyed art and maybe the theatre in her own alternate Bhaal-free universe, so it's an interesting parallel for them.
He takes an approximation of elven form because Bhaal decided to reverse engineer the Blessing of Corellon, using the soul of one of his elven kids as a reference, to give Vel a physical fluidity/flexibility that would be useful to his plan to breed an army of Bhaalspawn using Durge. Also works as a threat; obey, or there are other uses I have for you, and some of them will see you locked up for nine months.
(Vel goes by male pronouns and presents as a cis man, but is somewhat flexible and accepts they/them pronouns. Not she/her though.)
Vel also has a million and one hang-ups about sex because of stuff like this; namely that he won't have any kind of sex that might cause pregnancy, and he used to kill the partners he begrudgingly took so that they wouldn't be able to perceive him during the act or remember him sexually. He makes a special exception for people who he's assigned an "equal" or "higher rank" over himself - they can do what they like with him and it's their right. Those exceptions would be Bhaal (Vel's body is Bhaal's body, as far as he's concerned), sort-of Gortash (except Vel didn't fully trust him and their relationship makes Bhaal irritated, so every time they had sex Vel had to leave and have a panic attack afterwards) and Astarion (who has his own hang-ups). There might have been something kind of going on with Orin, partly due to pressure for them to have "sacrificial lambs" together, but neither want to talk about it. He considered Ketheric, but Ketheric can't die and that would ruin it because Vel would be too busy trying to kill him to actually have sex.
Originally he was going to be the son of a member of the Eldreth Veluuthra, who turned to Bhaal for divine aid because the Seldarine still won't aid the terrorist organisation in committing genocide against the human race, for some strange reason. She would've raised her little abomination into be a weapon to set on them, and enjoyed the irony of humans being slain by an abomination spawned by of one of their own gods.
Since "the Dark Urge" gets you some funny looks when you use it in public, mine concedes to being called "Vel" - a name that only gets you funny looks from the minority that speak elven, because you've just introduced yourself as "dagger/knife." It's a description of him as a tool, not a person. His foster family did give him a name, but he refuses to acknowledge it because it was intended for a person who only existed in their imagination and he'll stab you if you call him by that name.
He technically got the name from Gortash, who once "jokingly" referred to him as his favourite weapon one evening, enjoying the success after one of their joint plots to exploit some noble or other and advance both their goals via assassination/politicking.
Vel has identity issues and complicated relationship with real Tel'Quessir, so he chose the elven word for the irony (no real elf would accept association with a Bhaalspawn, least of all this one).
Mostly he goes by no name at all. He might pick a new one, in a few decades when he's grown, healed a bit and feels secure in having his own identity.
Vel is Lawful, and alternates between Evil and Neutral depending on his mood and situation. He will fall to pieces without a purpose to structure his life around. He doesn't care if people around him are more Chaotic though, it's purely a personal code. If he takes a mercenary or assassination contract or something, he will fulfil it to the letter and make no attempts to backstab his employer or get any more than the agreed upon payment. He makes zero promises about the actions of anyone working with him, they can do what they want and it's not his problem.
He has a hierarchy in his head: Bhaal > Himself, Gortash, Astarion > Orin, the party > everyone else
His moral compass is a twisted thing that he's cobbled together out of scraps over the course of under two months, it's not very complete or useful. On the good-evil axis, he doesn't usually have second thoughts about taking actions that are evil, and he's not keen on the concept of morality as a whole; there was never any point in developing a sense for it. He never had any real say in his actions and he kind of resents people who judge him for them.
He kind of misses Sceleritas, his "great purpose" and all the power he used to wield, and he would make a fantastic Sharran.
#Forewarning of dark possibly dead dove content#I can't not write essays#I put way too much thought into my characters but it's fun#OCs#Vel#long post#edgelord hours
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