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#holy himbos batman!
sodamnbored · 1 month
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Tense moment of suspense on a quest:
Leo, listening to the whispering sounds: What’s that sound…?
Jason, dramatically: It’s the winds. They’re speaking to us.
Leo, enthralled: What’re they saying?
Jason, still dramatically: I don’t know. I don’t speak wind.
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evilminji · 8 months
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Okay, you know WHAT? I have been SILENT for too long! I can endure it no longer!!
There is a CRIMINAL lack, CRIMINAL I say! Of Batman/Brucie Wayne Fanfiction out there!
But Minji, you say rightfully concerned for both my sanity and memory issues, isn't Bruce Wayne... Batman?
And, fuck off maybe! I know that, YOU know that, but WE are 5th dimensional spies watching their lives from beyond the 4th wall! NO ONE IN GOTHAM KNOWS THAT!
I want Fandom access!!! *rips shirt to reveal stolen Brucie/Batman OTP shirt from I got from some Gotham based Fan meet up*
It's part of their COVER! Since OBVIOUSLY himbo Brucie Wayne and dangerous brooding Cryptid Batman are VERY different men with VERY different moral and social philosophies about how to help their shared, beloved, city! They should kiss about it!
Tell me the bat-brood don't write terrible fanfic as stress relief. Lurk, just to make sure no one's getting to close. Lurk, just for that sweet, sweet fan art and other merch of themselves or loved ones.
Tell me there aren't arguments over "are they family or co-workers" and "how DARE you suggest our Cryptid would sleep with that Metropolitan SLUT instead our sweet himbo dilf!"
Look me in the eyes and tell me Clark has not COVERED the fan conventions, as a fluff piece, because Bruce annoyed him recently.
Where are my Meta fics? My characters reacting to disturbingly good and engaging fiction about their co-work and himself?
FFS fifty shades of grey(curse its name) was originally a fanfiction! Tell me some enterprising Gothamite wouldn't go "hmmmmm >.> " and pull the same thing? Barely change details and publish? So everyone is like "that is... SO CLEARLY about Brucie Wayne and Batman. But not clearly enough to sue. Holy shit."
Then READ it.
Because who would have the BALLS to do this and what did they WRITE?
And maybe it's... disturbingly good. Like no, really. Deeply philosophical and starkly human. Lot of sex. Excellent pacing.
....about their co-worker literally going and fucking himself.
They are SO conflicted.
I. Want. Fan. Fiction. I want in-world Fandom shit! It's literally a CLASSIC otp pairing! Himbo and gritty warrior with a mysterious past! Wayne getting kidnapped fics. Bodyguard fics. Secretly I'm Batman but now you're my slutty, slutty Boss fics!
Will no one CHALLENGE themselves!? I suffer.
Brucie/Batman
Come one guys! I believe in us!
@hdgnj @the-witchhunter @stealingyourbones
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shower-phantom-ideas · 5 months
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Yall imagine Danny getting help from Batman and tells him about how hes on the run (it was a joke in passing smh) and how he has no home (it was ment to be funny man) then all of a sudden Bruce way shows up on a totally casual stroll in his neighbourhood. “Oh look a child who is in need laaa dee daa let me help you poor random child who I have no idea who you are.” As if Danny is an idiot. He isnt fooled in the slightest. He knows when something is up. Batman clearly is using Bruce Wayne to help kids off the street.
Danny is staying at Wayne manner and notices how no one really talks about the bats. Or tif they do Bruce gets this look then quickly changes the subject. Hes putting so much effort into it too. And at first Danny hardly noticed. Now it’s obvious theres a connection. At first he thought Bruce Wayne hated batman with how often he refused to comment or gave his kids a glare when they mentioned the big bad bat. But now it’s clearly something else. Danny got a chance to talk to the commissioner alone and then it clicked. Danny had asked whats Mr.Waynes beef with Batman and the commissioner seemed so confused. Quickly telling Danny about how the two have worked together. How Bruce has even helped the bat with information or a distraction from time to time. Why would Danny think that he hated him???
And BAM Danny had it. Bruce Wayne is dating THE Batman!!! Holy shit it makes so much sense. Danny would often find batgear around the house. Bruce probably got targeted a bunch and thats probably how they met.
Now hes trying so hard to be supported of his clearly closeted father figure. He also gets why it’s not public info too. Paints a huge target on Bruce. Plus his many many kids. Must be hard for them. What a crazy life they live. Jason would probably be so jealous of their literal fairytale romance.
Danny tells Bruce that he is supported by him and that his secret is safe until hes ready to tell anyone else. Bruce niw thinking Danny knows hes batman shows up no mask and Danny goes nuts. “You can’t out yourself in danger to protect him bruce!!! You are just some himbo man!!! He wouldnt want this!!!” Thinking Bruce is going to try and fight in Batmans place.
Then Danny walks up and places a hand on bruces should (he has to reach lmao shorty). “I will go. I will keep everyone safe. You can count in me” transforms snd flys off to defeat the big bad. Leaving a fully stunned and confused bruce.
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absolutebl · 1 year
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This Week in BL - a new #1 for me from Thailand
Nov 2022 Wk 4
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.
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Ongoing Series - Thai
609 Bedtime Story (Fri WeTV) 1&2 of 11 - Apparently VIPs get the next episode early. So I watched both. It’s a good story and a great set up and it opens with one of my favorite under appreciated Thai actors: Plustor (as Vee) in a side bartender romance with younger Game. Sunshine bisexual himbo + older tsundere = YES! Gimme! Main character, Mum, is your bog-standard player. (I weirdly love how they translate clubs & bars as “pub” in Thailand - and yes, I get that it ties to the history of the area.) Kinda fun street fight. NO SINGING. Game is BL’s new bisexual king! I will brook no arguments on this matter. Omg kisses already? This is a well paced story! OhmFluke man, can’t knock the visuals, their eye connection and sympathetic chemistry work is good. I never believe they wanna bone but I do believe them falling in love. ALL HAIL QUEEN MINT. 
Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 4 of 12 - This is such a fantastic show. I’m so glad they got OhmFluke back to play sides and support roles, it’s really making the found family aspect shine, especially in contrast to Win’s real family. This one is very complicated and deep and kind of modern. Very much the opposite of UWMA but in a good way. WATCH ALONG HERE.
My School President (Fri YT) 1 of 10 - it’s Love Sick + Korea and Japan's influence. Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but this is me: I never met a high school BL I didn’t want to grant a fair shake. At the very start we get self with a whistle and NO SINGING. Yay! Fantastic beginning. Our tiny music club president/idiot is definitely giving me Noh vibes & our suave student president definitely giving me Phun vibes - bonus this time no girlfriends! It moves this out of Love Sick arena, which was all chaos bisexuals, and into just completely gay. I’m happy with that and I like the dancing and the marriage on his mind. New candidates for one braincell friendship group from GMMTV (they love this archetype). Tinn is already pining and so completely gone. On a completely different aside, I really want a lesbian romance between Gun’s maa and the principle. I have a tiny ship sailing off to one side. 
Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI)10 of 12 - holy crumbs outta nowhere, Batman. Lots of relationship chat not enough shirtlessness, but since I’ve been binging Oh! My Sunshine Showering Night it’s no problemo. Also yes, Nahi does look and act a lot like Joanan, Ai totally ended up dating his mother. 
Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 8 of 12 - Champ’s storyline is dull, although I like the actor. Yay, JaFirst got together!! Cute line, “can we skip being friends and just be in love instead?” LOVE THEM. Please can we take Mean out of that wig now? Why are the straight’s so boring? The Name stuff continues to upset me. 
I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) 3 of 12 - When these two are sweet together, they are really very sweet and I actually kind of like it. I think Noey uses ter because he’s younger, and doesn’t want to use phi. 
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Viki) 9 of 12 - while 609 and Between Us are v good, this is currently my favorite BL airing by a mile. The conversation between the young one and the bar owner made me hoot with laughter. “Are you trying to speak the language of adults?” probably one of the BL’s best put-downs. All the dialogue really: “Are you gonna make him tie himself in a red bow and send himself to you?“ “That’s nice. Can I choose another color?” It’s so fucking cute. The courting with food, and everybody taking photographs of how happy the dentist is. I can’t even with this show. Add the cutest smiles kisses, this is GREAT. I did in fact clap. 
Choco Milk Shake (Korea Strongberry Tues YT) 9 of 11 - Man, this show really makes me laugh so hard. Especially the cat character. I love how they called out the fact that they actually have customers for a change. Jealous Milk made me cackle so hard it scared the actual cat on my lap. How are they going to end this happy? In Strongberry we trust. Just repeat the mantra ABL, just keep repeating it. 
Eternal Yesterday AKA Eien no Kino (Japan Thurs Gaga) 7 of 8 - It takes me a lot to work up the courage to watch this show on Fridays. It’s so sad and traumatizing. But it’s also so good I can’t stop. I have to watch Tooth on either side of it to comfort myself. All that to say, it’s as we all expect: Michan is holding so hard onto Koichi that he has anchored him from death through shear force of will. Also… SWITCHES? Although, does it count if it’s necrophilia? Asking for a friend. 
Oh! My Assistant (Korea Thurs Viki) 1-2 of 8 - This has a very JBL feel (including the title), don’t get mad if I get confused. Anygay, this is a very silly show that acts like it comes from a very silly yaoi. Out gay younger seme (we stan) pretending to be tsundere is smitten by chaos bi uke puppy. And they gave us a very interesting new take on crash into me. It’s racy but in that way Korean does racy, like Love & Leashes. Cheeky racy. 
Happy Ending Romance (Korea Thurs Gaga) 3-4 of 8 - This is such a complicated show about profession, ego, reputation, safety, and trust, but not much about romance. Maybe it’s because I’m so used to Leo portraying evil (see most of his guest MV’s and half of VIXX’s) but I can’t trust his character, and I’m not sure if I’m meant to. Is that the romance? Or is this a romance about an editor’s love for a writer’s work? Or for the writer himself? And is there a difference? Meanwhile, I’m getting a bad feeling about the ending of this one. And yet... How much did I love the dialogue around love and possession? So much. 
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It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It
War of Y (Thai Gaga) 20 eps - it’s just all too much for me.
2 Moons 3 (Thai Mon ??) 10 eps - Possibly a future binge watch. Rumor is it’s banal.
Love Bill  (Vietnam Sat YT) - Bah Vinh is back but I’m too distracted. Also there’s a lot of fund raising stuff going on. I’ll wait and binge.
The Star Always Follow You (Vietnam YT) - same Team RL peeps we have seen before (Sunshine, Stupid) 
Till the World Ends (Thai YT) 10 eps - ?
Why You... Y Me? (Thai Weds YT) 10 eps - It's not primarily a BL, but another meta show about BL shipping, with side BLs. @heretherebedork is watching it, ask them about it. 
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In Case You Missed It
To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai (16 eps) seems to have ended HAPPY! This is a soap opera so next time I have a day off I may binge and trash watch.
GAP the series (Sat YT) is a classic office set romance. WATCH IT! It’s GL and this studio needs our support! I’m enjoying it but not chronicling my journey. (Also, the stairs are back!)
I decided to binge watch Oh! My Sunshine Showering Night. What a wild ride. 
Next Week Looks Like This:
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Dec 9: Semantic Error movie (Viki) - the repackage, rumored to have some added footage
2022 still to come?
Dec 19: Chains of Heart (movie? theaters?) trailer Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, memory loss, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Poppy (Porpla in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy. I don’t know if this is still releasing or if C19 impacted it. Delayed until Feb 2023.
This Week’s Crimes Against Fashion
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Between Us punishing their crumbs. 
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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I LOVE HIM. (609) 
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I love them! (Between Us). 
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Magic crumbs (Ai Long Nhai) 
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Truth (Ai Long Nhai) 
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Cats.
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Me.
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Also me. 
(last week) 
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ao3feed-superbat · 2 months
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Screwed Up [Podfic]
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/srix3gn by TheFanFicCup Original summary: “Look, Kent, the only way you’re getting out of writing this article is if you’re screwing one of them, so unless you tell me you and the Amazoni—“ Clark can’t help the honest-to-god snort of a laugh that pulls from him. God, Diana will get a kick out of that too when he tells her. Still laughing, Clark doesn’t even think about it. He just answers, “I mean, I’d say that B’s the one screwing me.” And then he freezes as he realizes what he actually said. And so does the rest of the newsroom. And it’s like he can see the air swell in front of his eyes as his face flushes red and the group takes what feels like a collective inhale before nearly everyone in the newsroom starts talking at once. In a move that probably makes him look even guiltier, Clark instinctually claps a hand over his mouth as if to take back the words. Oh no. Words: 13, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 1 of TFFC's DC Podfics~ Fandoms: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, DC Extended Universe, Holy Musical B@man - Team StarKid Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen, M/M Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Lois Lane, Perry White, Cat Grant, James "Jimmy" Olsen Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Superman/Batman, Clark Kent & Lois Lane, Clark Kent & Perry White, Clark Kent & Cat Grant Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Relationship Reveal, Accidental Relationship Reveal, Secret Relationship, Secret Relationship for Secret Identity reasons, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Clark Kent is Superman, Himbo Clark Kent, Daily Planet (DCU), Bisexual Clark Kent, Bisexual Bruce Wayne, Top Bruce Wayne, Bottom Clark Kent, Top Bruce Wayne/Bottom Clark Kent, this isn't smut, but that's relevant to the plot, Clark Kent Loves Bruce Wayne, Established Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Mentioned Bruce Wayne, Mentioned Diana (Wonder Woman), neither of them actually appear sorry, One Shot, Humor, Fluff and Crack, Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/srix3gn
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princesscolumbia · 8 months
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Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization II - The Wrath of Polling
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I'm 100% sure it's due entirely to people not knowing the poll existed, but where the support of Capt.'s Rios and Seven are annecdotally strong, I've got numbers for Spock, Batel, and a surprising tie for third of Scott and Saru.
Without further ado...
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Captain Spock
At least four generations of Done With Your Shit™️. Your ideas are stupid and wrong and he can prove it mathematically...which is why he can't get enough of Kirk, weird lil' himbo twink just dual-weilds the middle finger at the No Win Situation and Spock has to check his calendar to make sure Pon Far didn't arrive early! (We get it, Spock, we've all been there, right ladies?)
Scorecard
Enterprise Captains He's Given 'The Eyebrow' to: 4
Civilizations unified: 2
Ancestors whose name rhymes with "Barthur Cronnan Spoil": 1
Amount of time he kept one ship in battle-worthy condition when all the others of its class and generation were being mothballed, destroyed, or lost to the future: 40 years
Siblings he just never talks about: 2
Category: Space Elf
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Captain Batel
Probably the one person in Starfleet that can always call out Pike on his shit. Maybe not Mom to Pike's 'Dad,' but not bad as the cool stepmom. Yes, Chris, she'll take care of Chapel while she deals with her boy issues, we'll have some girl time, it'll be fun!
Scorecard
Number of Pike fans INSANELY jealous she managed to land in Pike's bed: Like, all of them!
Number of musical numbers while in command: 1
Number of musical numbers that singing voice should have been given: ...a LOT more!
Amount of patience to deal with Pike's mid-life crisis: 9,001
Category: Step-MILF that will teach you how to drive when Dad (Pike) gets too 'back-seat-driver'-y
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Captain Scott
Crouching Engineer, HIDDEN BADASS! Kirk may sit in the Captain's chair, but we all know who the Enterprise lets put her engines to bed for the night. This man can make any engine or transporter you can think of just sing, all in perfect accompaniment to his bagpipes.
Scorecard
Times he accidentally created a time machine (with Spock on assist): 1
Times he accidentally hosted a murdering parasite: 1
Times he out-drank an extra-galactic entity bent on stealing HIS ship: 1
Times he tested transwarp beaming with an admiral's dog: [0/1] <- YOU open the box! I'm not collapsing that waveform!
Times he unironically used the line, "There be whales here!" in a 23rd century space vessel: 1
Category: Miracle Worker
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Captain Saru
Proof that a prey species can unequivocally kick your ass. Ride or die. This man will take your spaceship, captain it efficiently, and give it back to you better than when you got it. Alfred to Burnham's Batman. Might call you "Daddy," but we know who wears the belt.
Scorecard
Evolutions (you know, like Pokemon): 1
Autistic crew he's whole-heartedly supported and mentored: 1
Category: Tol Cinnamon Roll
<< First Post in this series Holy crap it's another post in this series! >>
Don't forget to vote!
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ihatethecoldalot · 9 months
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i’m screaming holy shit, i love this bruce he’s the dumbest, kindest most fucking stupid version i swear to god.
The Batman (2004), the one on Netflix has his being so fucking himbo and smart. I’m sorry he let Man-Bat keep working on his project and went to go drop off hearing aids while signing to what he was informed was a Deaf little girl. He’s so kind and yet so fucking stupid I love him.
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ao3feed-brucewayne · 2 months
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Screwed Up [Podfic]
by TheFanFicCup Original summary: “Look, Kent, the only way you’re getting out of writing this article is if you’re screwing one of them, so unless you tell me you and the Amazoni—“ Clark can’t help the honest-to-god snort of a laugh that pulls from him. God, Diana will get a kick out of that too when he tells her. Still laughing, Clark doesn’t even think about it. He just answers, “I mean, I’d say that B’s the one screwing me.” And then he freezes as he realizes what he actually said. And so does the rest of the newsroom. And it’s like he can see the air swell in front of his eyes as his face flushes red and the group takes what feels like a collective inhale before nearly everyone in the newsroom starts talking at once. In a move that probably makes him look even guiltier, Clark instinctually claps a hand over his mouth as if to take back the words. Oh no. Words: 13, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 1 of TFFC's DC Podfics~ Fandoms: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, DC Extended Universe, Holy Musical B@man - Team StarKid Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen, M/M Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Lois Lane, Perry White, Cat Grant, James "Jimmy" Olsen Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Superman/Batman, Clark Kent & Lois Lane, Clark Kent & Perry White, Clark Kent & Cat Grant Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Relationship Reveal, Accidental Relationship Reveal, Secret Relationship, Secret Relationship for Secret Identity reasons, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Clark Kent is Superman, Himbo Clark Kent, Daily Planet (DCU), Bisexual Clark Kent, Bisexual Bruce Wayne, Top Bruce Wayne, Bottom Clark Kent, Top Bruce Wayne/Bottom Clark Kent, this isn't smut, but that's relevant to the plot, Clark Kent Loves Bruce Wayne, Established Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Mentioned Bruce Wayne, Mentioned Diana (Wonder Woman), neither of them actually appear sorry, One Shot, Humor, Fluff and Crack, Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes via https://ift.tt/fYXK0HA
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dramatisperscnae · 9 months
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Headcanon - Dick
Dick never fully lost the verbal tic of 'Holy [item in question], [person he's talking to]' [e.g. "Holy hidden door, Batman!"] he had in his childhood. It still occasionally pops up when he's genuinely shocked by a find, or when he's really laying the public himbo persona on thick for whatever reason.
He'll also bring it out when being a gremlin if he knows it annoys someone, or to potentially lighten a tense mood because there are few things more ridiculous than a grown-ass man talking like a ten year old.
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hopefulstarfire · 3 years
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so i just found out the himbo bruce wayne post i deleted like ended up in the newest pm seymour video and honestly im just fucking glad ya'll like himbo bruce wayne as much as i do and that that could be shared.
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seno99 · 2 years
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Depressed emo bat boy man being awkward and soft is best bat boy man 🦇❤️
Bruce meets Clark for the first time when the reporter comes to Gotham for a piece in the daily planet. When he sees the intense blue of Clark’s eyes and his blindingly charming smile he almost has an anxiety attack from how very attractive his is. Bruce makes something of an idiot of himself, stumbling over a greeting when he takes in the size of muscles that build the man in front of him. In fact he stumbles through the interview in its entirety, the blush on his face reaching down to his chest and shoulders with how much he’s trying not to stare at Clark’s absolutely obscene throat. By the end he’s nearly worn himself out, which is probably why he idiotically asks Clark out to dinner with him. Which ended up being the best decision he’s made, what with how Clark blushed before agreeing.
After months of dating Clark, Bruce meets Superman and immediately knows it’s Clark. (honestly what person throws on glasses and hopes no one with recognize them when they’re only the strongest being on earth???) He’s waiting patiently for Clark, suit in hand, when he returns from his shower. He just stares at Clark who’s gone pale as paper, eyes on the giant S, before Bruce reaches behind him to throw his cowl at him. Clark stares at it for minutes gaping like a fish and then his mother hen takes over and it’s all Bruce can do to try to get his himbo boyfriend off of him telling him he’s fine and he’s not hurt. Because of course Clark wouldn’t care so much that he’s Batman, but that he might be hurt.
Their first time is messy and Bruce feels awkward, like he doesn’t know what he should be doing with his limbs. Also because Clark is built like a greek god. Clark chuckles and is sweet, red faced and all. When he pushes inside, Bruce gets so tense he worries he’s hurt him when a long, low, whimper fills his ears. When Clark looks down at Bruce his eyes are wet and his eyebrows are drawn up. He’s as vulnerable as he’s ever seen the young caped crusader. Shaking hands reach up to Clark’s face, stopping before they make contact, and then just a wrecked whisper of, “please, I-” and he’s gone.
Bruce is surprised at how vocal he is and his face feels on fire because he’s not able to stop it. His voice betrays him over and over and it’s so worth it. “Harder” he begs. And it’s worth the growl that demand tears from Clark’s throat, worth the new brutal pace he’s being inflicted with. He doesn’t even know what he’s begging for anymore but Clark’s hands are like iron chains where they hold him, light purple lighting up his skin in the shape of hands and kisses. Clark is pushing words into his hair, sweet nothings and promises Bruce thinks he’ll never be able to keep but god be damned if he doesn’t try.
He won’t admit it but the way that Clark’s body almost envelopes his is what does him in. The sheer power behind those hands is all it takes. Knees pinned up by his ears he cries as he’s worked through his climax, tears burning tracks down the side of his face. He’s absolutely wrecked, and so is Clark when he comes. Clark let’s out a guttural sound, straight from his chest and it vibrates against Bruce’s limp body below. His face blooms redder if possible at the feeling of being filled. Clark is groaning, whining even as he wraps arms around the smaller man and pulling him close, shaking and shivering. It takes longer than it should for Bruce to realize Clark is still coming, and the thought alone makes him whimper against his strong chest. He can feel it. It’s hot and his stomach feels full to burst.
“I’m so sorry Bruce, I should have warned you about that… it’s-”
“—It’s fine.”
“—embarrassing and I get if you don’t want me to- wait what?”
“I said it’s fine. Now shut it Kansas.”
“…Holy cow…”
“……..”
“You think it’s hot, don’t you..”
“Goodnight, Clark.”
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sodamnbored · 1 year
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Percy: Who’re you?
Octavian, cryptically: Oh, you’ll find out in due time.
Dakota, coming over: Hey Octavian :)
Percy: *looking to Octavian*
Octavian: The time has come. I’m Octavian.
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preyed-llama · 3 years
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A Batman Movie
My love for Batman does not extend to the recent movies. So here is a plan for a good Batman concept that isn’t just a male power fantasy.
Movie opens with Batman running across the rooftops. There’s no sirens in the distance or the bat signal. It just looks like a regular night. The camera pans back and there’s Robin. Holy shit Robin is chasing him and Batman is dodging. Is Robin evil? Will Batman have to save him? Robin spins over his head, tapping the back of his mask as he goes and immediately grapples away. ‘Youre it’ he shouts over. Batman laughs, not evil a genuine Bruce Wayne laugh.
Tension is broken, expectations subverted, man humanised.
The rooftop tag scene displays both heroes strengths, the flying, dodging, and gymnastic tricks in replace of a bloody fight.
Scene cuts- the villains are shown. Oh wow their plan to destroy Gotham. Whatever will we do.
Back to Batman. Damn it’s a gala scene. Bruce Wayne is playing it up. The audience sees Bruce’s ability to act. What a himbo we love brucie Wayne. People are talking in the background. Good information drops. Robin (whichever iteration it is) just sips his juice and is kinda bored in the stuffy suit. Bruce calls it a night early saying ‘it’s late and the kid has to be awake tomorrow. Have a lovely night’ he ruffles the kids hair. Robin yawns. It looks real. Hes a good actor too.
Scene change to him saying goodnight to the kid. Sitting on his bed and shit. Kids like ‘I’m not tired. We could go out for rounds’ being an eager kid. Bruce says no. Says goodnight. Says goodnight to Alfred too who is treated as family and not a waste, we’re talking Batman 1989 level where it’s shown that Bruce eats dinner with Alfred in the kitchen every night level.
All these scenes function as the introduction scenes and build the character before the- Boom! Plot has occurred. It’s chaos and dangerous. He tells Robin not to come. Kid doesn’t listen. What a silly kid. Batman goes out alone to fight. It’s not going great. Bad guys and a bomb? Damn Batman’s gotta go quick.
Holy shit robins at the bomb and defuses it. Witty banter between the two as they fight the rest of the goons. ‘You had this huh?’ ‘Don’t you have homework to do?’ ‘No homework if Gotham blows up. You should be thanking me’ it’s fun. It’s light. No one dies in this scene. Batman doesn’t kill.
It’s fun.
Batman is mad about him disobeying an order but wait- he doesn’t beat him up! No instead he starts to get frustrated and Alfred steps in with tea. Moderator. Light hearted scene where Bruce keeps going to talk and Alfred keeps raising an eyebrow so he goes back to sulking and drinking the tea. When it’s done both are calm enough to talk and had long enough to think of their points. It’s a heartfelt scene. A scene that shows Bruce really cares about his son. And although he doesn’t always show it the best he will do anything for him and will also always try to protect him.
Robin is still upset about it but he’s a child, that’s okay. Either way both walk away feeling okay. And of course a hug and shit. Under alfreds watchful eye. Alfred then who brings out cookies. Robin also hugs Alfred before grabbing some and disappearing upstairs. This scene isn’t very long but it’s emotionally impactful.
Then we get to the climax of the movie with the big fight and shit. Whatever. I’ve said my piece. *slams hands on table* stop making Batman a male power fantasy and start making him a hero. Alfred would not let him get away with half the shit he does.
Also bonus points if Alfred shoots and kills a dude some point in the movie and it’s just not spoken about. There is one death in the movie. That’s it. Batman might not kill but Alfred does.
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Note
I was going through some stranger things tags on this hell site a little while ago cuz I was bored out of my mind and had nothing better to do so I was like hey, let's see what people have been posting about
And holy f*ck batman, I was not prepared for what was going on
The amount of times that I read something, thought that can't be what I think you're trying to say, re-read it, then sat around with my head in my hands wondering where we went wrong as a society
Made me relive why I never really interacted with the fandom when the first season came out, and consequently why it is that I really only interact with your and himbo's st content
In other words "help me You*, the fandom is making bad takes and I'm scared"
*in my brain I just refer to you as You
everyday i open tumblr and everyday i see bad st takes and everyday i close tumblr
i’ve learned to burrow into a corner and stay there. that’s what i did with xmen and that’s what i’m doing here. bless your heart for trying for the outer fandom though bestie
@himbos-are-my-lifeblood look at us who woulda thought
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sonnetthebard · 3 years
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A Holy Musical B@man and SAF crossover au?
Wow okay this is more than just a little cursed and I am here for it!
- We're gonna say this is another SAF Modern AU
- So um... where do we even start?
- Sweetooth is going to poison the water supply ... again... like every other attack.
- But like he's getting bored of just Gotham, so he's going to do it in the nearest lake, where it can spread past and into the water supplies of all the surrounding towns, and the towns that surround them, taking out America.
- And like naturally with plans this large afoot, the government is tipped off.
- So Curt is sent to Gotham to try and investigate.
- Curt is like... immediately put off? Because wtf is with this town?
- When Owen hears where Curt is, of course he gets involved.
- Don't get me wrong, he thinks Sweetooth is batsh*t crazy, but he tolerates him just to mess with Curt.
- As always, Owen manages to hijack his plan and take charge.
- The rogues of Gotham aren't his choice of backup, but hey... they're what he got.
- Meanwhile, Batman is (of course) also on the case because Sweetooth is as obsessed with him as every other rogue and sent him a threatening message telling him the whole plan and that he had a new friend helping.
- Batman comes like... so close to killing Curt because he thinks he's the new friend.
- Curt talks him down, but they still don't like each other.
- At all
- They're both dominant-personality himbos and they rub each other the wrong way
- Curt ends up working with the Superfriends.
- He pretends he finds them all weird, but... they're kind of cool.
- Robin is the only one who likes Curt. He's always wanted to be a special agent.
- Alfred annd Curt also get along because Alfred was also an agent at one point, so he can relate to Curt. They often talk about past missions.
- Cynthia refuses to believe a word of any of Curt's reports because... at risk of repeating myself, wtf is with this town?
- Of course there's a big showdown with all the Superfriends and the rogues.
- After having to fight off a few minor rogues, Curt and Owen have their showdown.
- Curt actually doesn't mean to hurt Own, but while their fighting, Owen falls into the vat of poison.
- As he does, Curt assumes Owen to be dead
- Owen isn't dead, but he plays dead until Curt is gone and the victory is won.
- Not even Barb ever believes Curt about what actually went on
- Everyone just assumes the mission had been brutal and he didn't want to talk about what he'd have to do.
- By the end, Batman, relents and inducts Curt as an honorary Superfriend
- Just for fun, Curt sometimes answers the call.
The fact that that actually worked is honestly so weird- I love it.
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inevitablyuncertain · 3 years
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this doctor's big strangling hands are made for hugs. and broad shoulders for weepy addicts
peter-dad-die 2k21
fan of these shit-talking trashcans tbh tbh
bro, this high is crazy
sofia :handshake: peter recent break-ups coping through drugs of choice
FASHION IS CYCLICAL
girls protecting girls
girls boss
what a king. "yes i have magic <3 i'm just built different"
across the rooftops like some himbo batman. what a king
"magic is actually quite complex" ricky who seemingly just like. Got It: cool
"it's the right thing to do, i guess" "It's the right thing to do."
trust him w my life
i see, so both holy folks are in on the magic, neat
"i feel like just walking through the door i owe you 500 bucks" you probably do, pete
santa, you bum
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