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howlingday · 11 months

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Dr. Jägermutter

Salem: Guten tag. I am Dr. Jägermutter, und zis... is my resume.

Jaune: (Reading) "Freelance huntsman business consultant and motivational coach." Hm... I don't know. Money's tight enough as it is-

Salem: I vork pro-bono.

Jaune: You're hired! ...Once I figure out what pro bobo means.

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Salem: Your financial status is an unfortunate case, but you must not let it limit yourself. To overcome zis, you vill need a full-time staff.

Jaune: Whoa...

Salem: (Gestures to the full-time staff) As you can see, gazering retired huntsmen togezer for a common goal is a bit of a skill of mine.

Jaune: Wait, but who's paying for them?

Salem: Ze Kingdom vill. Zey are all part of a vork-rehabilitation program. I call zem, "ze Knight Angels." Get it? Knight? Night?

Jaune: No, no, I get it, but this is all just so much at once...

Nora: Jaune! We found some Grimm tearing down the forest!

Ren: Very unusual for Grimm.

Pyrrha: Everyone stay calm. We'll rally together so we can-

Salem: Zer is no need. Zose vere not Grimm, but ants. Ants building und expanding upon your leader's empire.

Ren: That's... a lot to take in.

Jaune: Right?

Nora: Wow! You're like some kind of magic girl!

Salem: Nein. You are ze magic girl! (Pulls lien out of Nora's ear)

Nora: WOW!

Salem: (Places it in Nora's palm) Here you go. I suggest you place zat into a high-yield mutual fund.

Salem: (Turns away) Now if you'll excuse me, I have much vork to do.

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Salem: Ladies und gentlemen, esteemed members of ze Schnee Dust Company, Mistrali Spiders, und Torchvick gang, I have read our demands regarding Jaune Arc's tuition, und your grievances in his tardiness to repay zem.

Lil Miss: And what the hell's it to you?

Salem: A minor inconvenience zat will be remedied shortly, if you vill allow me.

Jacques: Where the hell is Jaune Arc then?!

Salem: I vill be representing Herr Arc in zese matters.

Roman: What- Who the hell are you?!

Salem: I am Dr. Salem Jägermutter, und zis is my magic murder hand. (Opens palm, Closes) So, zere is a deal on ze table. Any takers?

JLR: (Dust and ash)

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Oscar: E-E-EVICTED?! But Jaune said I was-

Salem: Herr Arc has more important tasks ahead of him und cannot be saddled by raising children. Might I suggest you stay mit Team RWBY, or stay in ze local orphanage?

Oscar: No! I don't want to-!

Salem: Zese are grown-up matters, child. Or should I say... Ozma?

Ozpin: (Shifts) Wait a moment... There's... There's something familiar about you. Almost as if... as if... Ngh...

Salem: Oho...

Salem: YOUR POWERS ARE USELESS ON ME, YOU SILLY BILLY...

Ozpin: NGH... NGH... NNNNNNGAAAH! (Falls)

Salem: You have until noon tomorrow to vacate ze premises.

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Ruby: And she just kicked Oscar out! Like she owns the place!

Pyrrha: I know, and I don't like it either, but... (Sighs) She won't let me get anywhere near Jaune. Says I'm a "weak" influence on him. Honestly, I would have done something sooner if it wasn't for Ren and Nora. They're really grown on her.

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Salem: (Outside) Vere's Nora~?

Nora: (Giggling, Sneaking around)

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Salem: So, vat did ve learn?

Ren: Uh... I learned that even though the Grimm destroyed my village, it was the bandit attacks nearby that brought them there.

Salem: Und vat vas learned?

Ren: That... humans are worse than Grimm?

Salem: Mm... It's a start.

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Salem: (Hands Nora a knife, Points) Zis man stole from your leader! Teach him vat is ze meaning of loyalty!

Nora: (Timidly approaches with a knife)

Salem: Vould you prefer ze hammer?

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Ruby: That's... really weird.

Pyrrha: I agree, but she says she has a PhD in Child Psychology, so... I can't really argue with her.

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Jaune: I'm sorry, I just don't understand what you're saying.

Salem: I vas very clear; you cannot become ze leader you vish to be mitout confronting your deep-rooted fear of success! Now get into ze bag!

Jaune: ...What's in it?

Salem: Only vat you take mit you.

Jaune: (Steps in) Uh, okay? I'm, uh, standing in the bag.

Salem: ARE YOU?.

Jaune: Wait... This... This is my old kitchen back home! (Looks at Pumpkin Pete box) Oh, and here's Pumpkin Pete!

Jaune: Wait, I thought I was fixing my soul, or something? Ms.- Er, Dr. Jägermutter? Hello?

Papa Arc: Hey there, Jaune! (Wearing boxers) You're up pretty early, huh?

Jaune: (Kid) I couldn't sleep. You and Mommy were fighting again.

Papa Arc: Oh, uh, no, we weren't fighting, we were just, uh... sparring. Say, whatcha eatin there?

Jaune: (Turn) Pumpkin Pete! If Bunnerific-! (Gasps, Turns away from massive dong) B-But I don't think I like the pumpkin flavor.

Papa Arc: Yeah, I prefer the Peachy Patty, myself. She's such a cute bunny.

Jaune: (Regular age, Shutting his eyes) Blueberry Barry is my favorite, too, but he's supposed to be a bad guy... (Peeks) AGH! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?! (Gulps, Slowly turns)

Salem: (Papa Arc's penis) This is the moment where your feelings of inadequacy first began to develop; when your father's status changed from role model and hero to rival and tormentor! (Tentacles envelop Jaune) WHAT WILL YOU DO?

Jaune: (Closes his eyes, Kid) Ngh! Rgh! P-Pyrrha, help!

Pyrrha: (Goddess appearance) I'm coming, Jaune!

Salem: NO! Do not call out to Pyrrha to save you! She and your father are the very reason you are trapped here, doomed to die with your dreams in this damnable tomb!

Jaune: (Opens his eyes, Sees Grimm RWBY)

Salem: Defeat these creatures of the dark! Fear! Self-loathing! Stinkin'-thinkin'! Und dilly-dallying! FREE YOURSELF! DESTROY THIS TEMPLE OF FAILURE!

Jaune: AAAAAAAGH! (Blinding flash of light, Standing before two marble statues)

Papa Arc: Jaune? What was that noise?

Salem: (Behind Jaune) The colossi will crush and continue to subjugate you unless you fight back! Kill them! Kill them and assume your rightful role as Leader!

Pyrrha: Jaune, let us help you.

Salem: (Transforms into a sword) DO IT! SLAY THEM WHERE THEY STAND! (Slashing about, Kills Pyrrha and Papa Arc)

Jaune: I... I did it... (Nugget hits his head) Oh! (Eats it)

Salem: (Pats his back) Ze son has become ze fazher, und ze pupil has become ze master. Rejoice, as your kingdom avaits.

Jaune: (Shoveling nuggies into his craw, Smiling)

Ruby: (Sneaks in, Steals nuggies)

Salem: Aaaaah, but who is zis tiny girl, stealing from your kingdom vat is yours?

Jaune: (Coughs, Chokes on nuggies)

Salem: (Places wallet in Jaune's mouth) Careful. Careful. (Jaune spits it out) Clearly, your experience vas so traumatizing, zat you had a seizure.

Jaune: (Covers himself) B-B-BUT WHY AM I NAKED?!

Salem: Because you have been reborn! Und your old clothes vill no longer fit you. (Reveals box) But zese vill... Und I vill need my vallet back.

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Jaune: (Wearing black armor with silver trim)

Salem: Zis suit vas hand-crafted by myself, using your measurements. Ze spandex should comfortably expand following your new vorkout routine.

Jaune: (Looks in the mirrors, Hums) Ya know what? I like it!

Salem: Ah~! (Sits, Covers her face) Es tut mir leid, I... I have become ze proud mama... (Crying, Clasps hands) I LOVE MEIN JOB~!

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Jaune: Ow! Why did you cut my hand?!

Salem: Much like how a fish needs gills to svim, a man such as yourself needs ink to write.

Jaune: Yeah, but blood? (Sighs) Whatever. What am I signing for anyways?

Salem: Your are signing to join an elite brother- und sisterhood of associates dedicated to ze destruction of mankind's truest enemy.

Jaune: Oh... Wow... Anyone I might know?

Salem: Oh, ja, (Flips page) you certainly do.

Jaune: Wait, but that's Ruby! She's my best friend!

Salem: Indeed! It is a classic friends to enemies tale!

Jaune: But that doesn't make any sense! Ruby can't be my enemy! She isn't even a-!

Jaune: (Looks at himself) Oh my god. This is... B-But I'm not-!

Salem: Aren't you?! You've lied! You cheated! You've stolen, und you have survived! Iz zis not what your heat vas telling you in your visions?! SIGN IT! BECOME WHO YOU VERE ALVAYS MEANT TO BE! KNIGHT ANGELS ARE STANDING BY FOR YOUR ORDERS! ASCEND!

Jaune: (Gulps)

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Pyrrha: (Kicks down the door) RUBY!

Ruby: AGH! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Pyrrha: Have you seen Jaune?!

Jaune: (Sitting on the bed) I'm right here.

Ruby: He's been sitting on my bed for, like, an hour, and hasn't said a word since.

Jaune: Pyrrha, am I... a bad leader?

Ruby: I don't think so. Pyrrha?

Pyrrha: ...Um, w-well, you, uh, have your faults, but ultimately, uh, well-

Nora: Yup!

Ren: Nora!

Pyrrha: Jaune, where's Dr. Jägermutter?

Jaune: Gone. I... I told her I appreciated the work she put in, but that I wasn't... that what she offered just wasn't for me.

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Salem: All of ze world's a stage, und ze men und vemen in it are merely players.

Tyrian: Ha ha! You said it! And you can learn more in The Bible!

#rwby #the venture bros #salem #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #nora valkyrie #oscar pine #ozpin #ruby rose #papa arc #tyrian callows

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shittycartoonmomshowdown · 1 year

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Welcome to the first round!

All matchups are listed below in case the picture is too hard to read. Will add links as they are posted.

Side A (noon 3/14)

Mother Gothel (Tangled) vs. Queen Iduna (Frozen)

Agnes Skinner (The Simpsons) vs. The High Priestess (Samurai Jack)

Medusa Gorgon (Soul Eater) vs. Mrs. Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)

Priscilla Northwest (Gravity Falls) vs. Raven Branwen (RWBY)

Rose Quartz (Steven Universe) vs. Maddie Fenton (Danny Phantom)

Lady Tremaine (Cinderella) vs. Hiromi Shiota (Assassination Classroom)

Audrey Bourgeois (Miraculous Ladybug) vs. Ambessa Medarda (Arcane)

Lois Griffin (Family Guy) vs. The Beldam (Coraline)

Side B (noon 3/15)

Shadow Weaver (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) vs. Alma Madrigal (Encanto)

Mitsuki Bakugo (My Hero Academia) vs. Zira (The Lion King 2)

Mom (Futurama) vs. Malory Archer (Archer)

Bloberta Puppington (Moral Orel) vs. Odalia Blight (The Owl House)

Misako Garmadon (Lego Ninjago) vs. Mrs. Turner (Fairly OddParents)

Tamiko Ridley (Inside Job) vs. Beatrice Horseman (BoJack Horseman)

Lusamine (Pokémon) vs. Isabella (The Promised Neverland)

Ursa (Avatar: The Last Airbender) vs. Ragyo Kiryuin (Kill la Kill)

#round one

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falleri-salvatore · 1 year

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RWBY Headcannon: Should Magic return

Ruby would become Light and Death incarnate (think a mix of Xion’s and Marluxia’s battle styles from KH3 Data Battles). Weiss would possess an obscene amount of affinity for every kind of elemental magic there is, and almost every non-elemental magic as well; which, when coupled with Weiss’ outright encyclopedic knowledge of Dust, Physics, Chemistry and Magical Theory; and all of that topped by pinpoint peerless control of every single unit of magic spent means that Weiss would become the Archmage to end all Archmages.

Blake would go full Umbramancer. EDIT: Yang’s magic can actually enhance the range and potency of her shadow magic by deepening and widening the shadows in a battefield/place (via Yang enhancing the intensity of sunlight).

Yang’s magic would be basically be the same as FGO!Gawain and NnT!Escanor, being able banish storms, enhance the intensity of sunlight, and growing stronger from the sun the closer to noon it gets (she would also be Nora’s hard counter, just as Nora would be hers). Jaune would have the potential to become an even more absurd Archmage than Weiss (in terms of sheer raw power and in terms of complete and utter affinity to any type of magic. However; in terms of knowledge, skill and mastery Weiss still reigns supreme). However, because Jaune is a paladin who behaves like a black knight who thinks himself a black knight but lives by the code of a paladin; Jaune would instead become an unrivalled master of buff, debuff and utility spells (which turn out to be more bullshit when compared to elemental bombardment spells when properly used). Nora goes full Thor and will gain the power to summon storms and call down rain, hail and lightning at will (she would also be Yang’s hard counter, just as Yang would be hers).

Oscar Pine inherits/regains Ozma’s Full Magic as well the magic that would belong to him as an individual (all Ozcarnations, should magic still have existed, would have had access the Ozma’s magic collectively but their own unique magic individually).

Ren would be a more esoteric type of mage that is as knowledgeable about magic as Weiss, but instead would focus on the mysticism of it instead of the theoretical applications. EDIT: Bonus entry Pyrrha Nikos (may she rest peacefully) would, like Jaune, possesses a strong affinity for any and all type of magic, though nowhere close as absurd. She would also have more raw power than Weiss, but again; nowhere near as as close to Jaune. On the other hand, she would be very well-versed in Dust, Physics, Chemistry, Magical Theory (like Weiss) and even Arcane Lore (like Ren), though nowhere as close as Weiss (or Ren). Her magic control is already considered exceptional, Pyrrha’s magic control efficiency being at a startling 94% (breaking the 90% threshold is actually considered mind-boggling, since magic, by definition, is a foreign power source that, while strong and plentiful, tends to constantly fight being controlled unlike one’s own Aura); however, she still falls short (heh!) to Weiss, AKA: the freak of nature who has achieved a 100% control rate through sheer stubborn will sublime skill. (For those curious, Ruby has an MC rating of 90, Blake is 84, Yang is 78, Jaune is 90, Nora is 78, Oscar is 94, and Ren is 89.) Pyrrha’s personal magic is Clairvoyance; it allows her to observe, analyze, dissect, and even learn the enemy magic and combat styles in just one glance (and since she has a high affinity for all non-exclusive magic, this is made even easier). It also grants her the ability to see the future from up to five seconds; making her aware of her opponent’s movements before they themselves are even aware. Clairvoyance also grants her the ability to see visions of the future in her dreams, though these tend to happen randomly, without context most of the time, and she can’t control when they happen.

#rwby #rwby headcanon #rwby shitpost #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladona #yang xiao long #jaune arc #nora valkyrie #pyrrha nikos #oscar pine #lie ren #blake belladona x yang xiao long #bumbleby #team rwby #team jnpr

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immortal-x-mortal-tourney · 11 months

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The sun rises over a grand arena, where 32 ships prepare to use the power of love, incredible violence and whatever else they may have to battle for the right to be named the ultimate battle couple

The Bracket (UPDATED!)

(Thanks to feedback, I swapped out Narumitsu with Catradora from SPOP)

Surprisingly few ships got more than one submission, so who got in was mostly based on how excited the submitter felt. If you believe a ship doesn’t count or if I messed up a ship name or whatever, send in an ask! Also if you have a better picture for any of them (but I don’t want to use fanart without the artists’s permission)

matchups

Percy Jackson & Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson) VS Nicolò “Nicky” di Genova & Yusuf “Joe” al-Kaysani (The Old Guard)

Nagisa Misumi/Cure Black & Honoka Yukishiro/Cure White (Futari Wa Precure) VS Steven Universe & Connie Maheswaran (Steven Universe)

Will Turner & Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Carribean) VS Patroclus & Achilles (Hades)

Sora & Riku (Kingdom Hearts) VS Haruka Tenoh/Sailor Uranus & Michiru Kaioh/Sailor Neptune (Sailor Moon)

Suki & Sokka (Avatar: The Last Airbender) VS Kinn & Porsche (Kinnporsche: The Series)

Oliver Queen & Dinah Lance (DC Comics) VS Alphen & Shionne (Tales of Arise)

Yuri Lowell & Flynn Scifo (Tales of Vesperia) VS Flint & Volkner (Pokémon)

Roy Mustang & Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist) VS Zakuro Fujiwara and Mint Aizawa (Tokyo Mew Mew New)

Luz Noceda & Amity Blight (The Owl House) VS Vi & Caitlyn (Arcane)

Madame Vastra & Jenny Flint (Doctor Who) VS Percy de Rolo & Vex’ahlia (Critical Role)

Lancelot, Guinevere & Arthur Pendragon (High Noon Over Camelot) VS Beauregard Lionett & Yasha Nydoorin (Critical Role)

Eleventh Doctor & River Song (Doctor Who) VS Captain Marvelous, Joe Gibken, Luka Millfy, Don Dogoier, Ahim de Famille & Gai Ikari (Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger)

Gideon Nav & Harrowhark Nonagesimus (The Locked Tomb) VS Drift & Ratchet (Transformers)

Catra & Adora (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) VS Karen Aijou & Hikari Kagura (Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight)

Yang Xiao Long & Blake Belladonna (RWBY) VS Kirishima Eijirou & Bakugou Katsuki (My Hero Academia)

King Dedede & Meta Knight (Kirby) VS MC & Amalia de León (It Lives Within)

#shout out to all thegay magical girls #bracket #battle couple battle #tumblr tournament #tournament poll

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fat-hedonistic-hogs · 2 years

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More team RWBY fart headcanons:

Ruby farts so frequently and with so much force she has to pack a BUNCH of corks along side ammo. She nicknames it her alt fire.

Weiss has been trying to hold in her farts more but she usually lasts only a minute. Usually resulting in what's nicknamed "a symphony." due to build up.

Blake is top 3 when it comes to 'casual' and 'competitive' fart length rankings on a niche website. Her recorded casual record being 55 minutes and her competitive being 2 hours. Likley being able to go longer if she wasn't overwhelmed by smell.

Yang has an unesscarily high knowledge on gas and just slobby habits that the students of Beacon have. Being nicknamed "Professor Xiao Long." by the gas appreciation group inside Beacon.

100% approved! You guys always kill it with these 👀

Ruby's ass is basically a high powered sniper rifle in and of itself. She puts it to good use out in the field whenever she runs out of ammo for Crescent Rose. Fire dust enfused farts plus titanium corks? They can probably punch a hole in an airship if she hits it just right. Her alt fire is incredibly powerful and rather unpleasant smelling... it's no wonder why some call her the wilted rose of Beacon.

Anything more fan a minute and Weiss starts getting bad stomach aches. She never had to hold In her gas back home as her mother encouraged her to let it out whenever she felt the need. Noone would dare call a schnee out on their gross habits especially not when Willow could crush 5 Ursa major to death with her ass alone. She tries to hold it but usual ends up embarrassing herself even more. As for her symphony's, they aren't that uncommon in fact she routinely farts during her performances. She can play entire songs with just her rear end. Her ass claps and farts are instruments in their own right.

Thanks to her mom Blake is slowly uncovering her true potential as a hidden gas machine. Hour long farts are nothing to her when she really puts her all into it. Best not piss her off now that she's awakened her bellabooty's full potential. Unless you wanna be an inflated fart balloon or smell like rotten sea food for a year.

Yang is basically a professor on gas. She knows how to weaponize it and is extreme knowledgeable on the affects dust has on a Hunter's gas. She does just use her gauntlets to propel herself, her gas works just as well at sending her flying full speed for a powerful punch.

#mun speaks #anon ask #muse headcanons #muse: ruby #muse: weiss #muse: blake #muse: yang #slob

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bssaz97 · 3 years

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RWBY Post AU: Training Pains Part 3

|Day 1|

– Rose Household –

[05:59 AM]

Rowan lightly snores as he sleeps on his comfy bed, covered with warm blankets. Turning only slightly as to find a more comfortable sleeping position.

..........

[06:00 AM]

BBBEEEEEEEEERRR!!!!

Rowan screams in shock, jolting up from his bed into a sitting position and extremely alert.

Whitley puts away the air horn he was holding, storing the item into his coat, “Well it’s about time you woke up.”

Rowan rubs both of his eyes, blinking confusingly at the man before him whispering, “Wha, Mr. Whitley? What are- What are you doing in my room?!”

The young boy was still recovering from the shock of being so abruptly awakened in the morning. However, his new tutor gave no instance of remorse, “I seem to recall telling you not to be late. So I decided to wake you up myself.”

Rowan was baffled at his tutor’s words, “But you said to wake up at 06:00!”

Whitley rolls his eyes dismissively at young Rose’s objection, “It was a figure of speech. It means you should have been up and ready to start by now.”

“Then why didn’t you ju-?”

Rowan is interrupted by a bundle of clothing that was tossed at his face. He looks down and upon recognition sees that it was a set of his clothes that were picked out for him.

“We’ve wasted enough time. Get dressed and be down in five,” Whitley tells the boy sternly and begins leaving the bedroom.

Gasping, Rowan quickly sits up on his bed and starts to change out of his pajamas to get ready for his first day of training, “Yes sir! ...Can I at least-?”

“You’ll eat when we’re done,” Whitley shouts from behind.

The boy whined silently, but continued getting prepared for their first day.

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Rowan, now fully awake and clothed, opens the door to the back of his home where he sees Whitley standing by a nearby tree. It looked like he was marking something on the bark of the tree.

“You’re here, good. Did you get plenty of rest last night,” Whitley asks but never turned around to face the boy.

“Uh, yes sir,” Rowan tells the man.

Whitley nods then turns to face him, “Good, you’ll need it. Today’s lesson is simple, we’re going to be going over the importance of Aura in battle.”

Rowan blinked, raising an eyebrow, “Huh? But Mr. Whitley I know about Aura though from class.”

“Oh really? Well then, enlighten me on what you know about Aura,” Whitley said.

“Ok... Well, aura is the embodiment of one’s soul. It can protect us from mortal wounds and it empowers huntsmen with the ability to use a unique ability called a semblance. With this we’re more able to combat the Grimm,” Rowan recites to his tutor.

While listening to Rowan’s understanding of Aura, Whitley began pacing back and forth while a smirk formed on his face. However that look on his face took new meaning when the Schnee began shaking his head.

Whitley chuckles, “‘...we’re more able to combat the Grimm.’ So that’s your honest belief then?”

“I... guess so,” Rowan replied.

Whitley sighs, “Well that certainly explains a lot.”

Rowan tilts his head, “What do you mean Mr. Whitley?”

“Unfortunately what they’ve been feeding you children is that Aura is a magical force field that gives you superpowers.... Of course they’re not entirely wrong but they sure did take the liberty to sugarcoat the absolute hell out of that mess of an explanation,” Whitley said to the young student.

“So you're saying that there is more to aura than what they’re teaching us?” Rowan asks.

“Precisely. Granted I never attended a combat school like yourself so I have little knowledge on how gradual your education progressing. But I believe we shouldn’t have much challenge getting you ahead,” Whitley stops pacing to face the boy.

Rowan quickly perked up at that, his eyes shining with excitement and hands shaking, “Really, you mean it?!”

Whitley motions the boy to settle down, “Rowan, you’re at ten again. Go to a four.”

Rowan does as he was told and returned his hands to his sides, “Sorry.”

“Now onto what we will be doing today,” Whitley began instructing.

Rowan clenches his hands together in excitement. He was certain that whatever this training was going to be, it would certainly be epic!

“You... are going to stand in place and focus on maintaining your aura to its maximum state until the sun reaches noon. I’m going to watch you from by that tree over there,” Whitley said, pointing towards the tree he was standing by originally.

Rowan’s hands fell as did his excitement, “....Wait, that’s it?”

Whitley nods in confirmation, “That’s right. So get your aura all the way up and keep it up for as long as you can.”

Rowan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Keep his aura up all the way to noon? That was the easiest thing in the world! Too easy!

“Mr. Whitley I thought-?”

Whitley cuts the young boy off, “Also you can’t speak until noon. Just focus on breathing and keep your aura up. No words.”

Rowan's mouth was gaped, this was how his training would be starting? By just standing in place?!

Rowan sighs, ‘...well I might as well get started,’ he thought to himself.

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[ 5 Hours Later ]

Rowan admits that he may have spoken too soon about the ease of this task. While he remained in place, Rowan began to feel his body ache. After standing in place for a few hours without moving an inch his limbs became tired and were almost on the verge of collapse. It seemed that the only reason he was still standing was because he was focused on maintaining his aura, which was beginning to become harder and harder to maintain. Who knew focusing on your Aura was so tasking?

Just hold it... hold it... you can-

“Bah!” Rowan cried his knees giving out and fell on his butt.

Whitley looks up from his scroll to see his student has fallen over, “Well it’s about time.”

Rowan pants tiredly, “I’m sorry Mr Whitley... I did my best, but I- ‘pant pant’ couldn’t hold it ‘pant’ ...any longer... I failed.”

Whitley stares curiously, “Failed? Who told you that you needed to pass this lesson?”

“...wait what?” Rowan said, looking up at the man confused. “But you said-?”

“I told you to focus your aura until noon, yes, but this particular task wasn’t designed for you to pass,” Whitley explained.

“Wait so ...this was a test? For what?” Rowan asks.

Whitley sighs, but starts to explain further, “I wanted to see how long you could endure continuous aura application. Most kids your age and skill would’ve dropped after one hour. You, however, managed to stay on task and keep your aura which means either of two things.”

Whitley walks over to the boy and tosses him a towel. Rowan catches it in his hands, looks up to his white haired tutor before rubbing the towel on his face, cleaning off beads of sweat that had been staining his face.

“One, it means that your natural aura capacity are quite high. While not a rarity, it does speak volumes of the amount of control you have over it at such a young age,” Whitley said.

Rowan looks at his tutor surprised, “Really? But I barely held onto it for the last one and a half hours.”

Whitley shakes his head, “That only means you were able to push through the strain your aura and body was undergoing. You were training your aura as if it were muscle, an extension of yourself.”

Rowan looks down at his hands with curiosity, “Extension of myself? But I thought that only the semblance was meant to be an extension of ourselves?”

Whitley nods his head, “True, a huntsman’s semblance does indeed derive from oneself. But remember, aura also comes from within. It’s often said that aura is to be a finite source of power that ranges differently from person to person. I do not believe that to be the case. I have come to believe that aura is an infinite pool of energy that exists in every living being, and that only those with powerful wills can fully utilize it. Those that can accomplish this are often unstoppable in the battlefield.”

Rowan stared in awe after listening to Whitley’s words. They seemed to have a sense of clarity but also depth that he never heard from the man before.

“Whoa...” Rowan mouths.

“Or two, it just means your dumb and don’t know when to quit,” Whitley commented.

Rowan frowns, “Hey!”

“Either way, you did well. How did you feel?” Whitley asked.

Rowan groans, “A bit tired. But I think I’ll be ok.”

Whitley hummed in approval, “Good. Now get up so we can start the next part of training for today training.”

Rowan stood up on his feet, “Ok, I’m ready!”

“Very well. Your next task is... to take this flag away from me,” Whitley instructs as he began wrapping a handkerchief around his neck.

‘Ok Rowan, you can do this. All you gotta do is be smart about this, do a fake out, reach for that handkerchief and step away before he notices. A piece of cake,’ Rowan told himself mentally.

Rowan moves toward his tutor, fakes a reach for the handkerchief with his left hand but pulls it back quickly. With his right hand going for Whitley’s neck, Rowan gets caught off guard when the man simply grips his right forearm.

‘Uh oh...’

“You have made a grave mistake.” Whitley chides as he uses his other hand to grip Rowan’s shirt.

Rowan swallowed, “I figured. WWOOOAAAAH!!”

Whitley lifts Rowan above his head and tosses the boy to the ground. Rowan, with his aura still recovering from his earlier training, experienced the literally meaning of being ‘tosses like a sack of potatoes.’

Rowan groaned painfully as he laid down on the ground.

Whitley crossed his arms as he looks down at the young Rose, “What do you think you’re doing?”

Rowan groans, “Regretting following through...”

“That is true, but I don’t seem to recall telling you to take a break. Now... get up,” Whitley said.

Rowan groaning continued as he got up from the ground, ‘What have I gotten myself into?’

—————————————

[ 4 hours Later ]

Mother and daughter are seen walking up a trail that leads back to their home, after a long day out taking care of some errands and getting groceries in the process.

“Hey Mom. How do you think Rowan’s training is doing?” Summer asks her mother.

Ruby looks to her young daughter and smiles, “I’m sure they’re doing fine. Whitley is a friend of your Auntie Yang and Auntie Weiss’s little brother. So I think anything they’re doing is standard and–”

“AAAH!!”

*THUD!*

Both mother and daughter stopped mid-stride, having heard the loud cry in close proximity of their cabin in the woods.

Summer swallows in worry, “That sounded close to home. You think-?”

‘Darn it Yang!’ Ruby mentally cursed.

The two Rose women made a beeline to their house to investigate what caused that scream. Once they arrive and quickly place their things down, they go to the back of the house and see the young boy and tutor in the back opening. The man looked unharmed, standing wearing a handkerchief scarf and the boy very much on the ground with an excess amount of dead grass and grime covering his face.

“Get up. You’re not done yet,” Whitley said to the boy.

Rowan groans, straining to getting back up.

Ruby’s eyes widen and her face pales, her motherly instincts kicking in and her only focus at the moment is her child who is still struggling to get up off the ground. With one foot in front of the other she strides towards them.

Whitley turns his head taking notice of both the mother and daughter’s arrival, but fails in anticipating the atmosphere, “Oh you’re both home already? How was your day?”

Ruby looks at him, giving him a menacing stare, “My day? Whitley what have YOU BEEN doing?! Rowan, are you ok?!”

Quickly the young mother runs to and cradles her child’s head.

Whitley's eyes widened upon realizing how this situation was making him look, so he tried to defuse the mother’s frustration, “Ruby listen, he’s fine, I didn’t throw him that hard.”

“Fine? Fine! Look at him! Does he look fine?!” Ruby shouted angrily.

“A bit dirty but that’s about it.”

“Wha- Whitley, I can’t believe you! I thought you were training him, not beating him up!” Ruby continued to shout.

“Technically-”

“AH! I don’t want to hear it! I can tolerate many things Whitley but I won’t tolerate this! ...Whitley I want you to leave,” Ruby said.

Summer tries to interject, “Mom-”

“This isn’t a discussion Summer,” Ruby quickly tells her daughter, then turns to look at Whitley with narrowed eyes, “this contract is over. Now please leave my-”

“Not yet...”

Rowan shook himself from his mother’s grasp until finally he’s able to break from her hold and roll himself face-down on the ground. Despite feeling his aching arms begging him to stop, he raises from his sides and uses them to partially lift himself by upper torso which feels thousand times more heavy.

“Rowan, what are you doing?! You’re hurt!” Ruby said as she tried to reach out to him.

“No!” Rowan yells.

Ruby halted, staring in shock at her son who raised his voice at her. Sounding both frustrated and sad, almost pleading.

Slowly his legs slide up, despite lacking any strength. Even so he pushed on.

“I-I’m... n-not... d-done yet,” He groans.

The boy manages to raise himself to rest on his hands and knees. His breath is hoarse and he feels his heart racing through his ears. Rowan closes his vision was gets blurry, perhaps from all the times he was tossed into the dirt.

He closed his eyes and all he saw was Peri with his smug face, but it wasn’t just his face he saw. Rowan saw the faces of the three Beowolves in the forest, looking to make easy prey of him. Then he saw the faces of everyone in class that looked at him in pity. He knew not all of them were doing it intentionally, but he didn’t want them to look at him like he was hopeless!

Rowan needed to be better before his next match, he couldn’t afford to hold back a year. They were all supposed to be going to Beacon after completing their fourth year of basics. Summer, Liena, Joanna and Blaze. They are expecting him to be there!

Rowan slowly stands up, groaning out, “I-I’m... not... done...!”

Slowly Rowan walks towards the male Schnee, who remained standing in the same spot he had for four freaking hours! After nearly falling under his weight three times, Rowan finally made it close enough to where he could grab tight hold of his tutor’s shirt. So that Whitley couldn’t throw him again, and to have something to hold onto because he could barely stay standing for so long.

One of his hands lets go of the man’s shirt slowly and reaches up until his fingers had met and were firmly gripped onto that damned handkerchief. Then in an eased motion, Rowan removes the handkerchief off Whitley’s neck.

Rowan began laughing with glee, “Hehehehe! I did it... I finally got... that stupid... flag...”

His eyes drift close as he begins collapsing.

Whitley catches the boy with one of his arms, then carefully lifts his weakened form in both arms.

“Well done,” he whispered.

—————————————

Rowan stirs upon awakening and quickly regrets the action as he still feels slight pain in his limbs, but not as significant as before. He slowly looks around the room and sees that he is back in his room and on his bed and not outside on the ground. What happened?

“Rowan?”

He turns to his left where he sees his twin sister’s face, her eyes puffy and dry. Something had made her upset, and judging from how her expression turned from worried to annoyed, it seemed to be directed at him. Rowan was going to ask what was wrong but she beat him to the punch by using her finger to block one of his nostrils by poking at his nose really hard.

“You stubborn dummy! You had us all worried after you passed out! Why did you push yourself so hard?! Do you want Mom and me to have a heart attack?!” Summer cries out.

“Summer! Can’t breathe!” Rowan shouts, voice becoming nasally due to the poking.

Summer ceases her poking, then glares at him angrily, “Well I’m sorry, I’m just the one who was worried sick, thinking if my twin brother died during his first day of training!”

Rowan’s eyes widened in shock, “Wait what? I almost died?!”

“Yeah dummy! You were barely standing yesterday and you almost stopped breathing three times while you were passed out!” Summer yelled.

‘Whoa... Mr. Whitley really wasn’t holding back was he?’ Rowan mentally said to himself.

“Why do you always gotta be the one to make me worried sick? First with the beowolves, now this, can you ever not get into situations that will not let you almost die in the process?!” Summer cried out, her eyes began shedding tears again.

Rowan looked at his sister guiltily, “Summer-”

“Look I know you’re trying your best. So just.... don’t be a dummy and die before you get to Beacon. Because if you do, I’m gonna kick your butt!” Summer said while dropping her head down, her bangs covering over her eyes.

Rowan didn’t know how he was supposed to react to his twin’s statements, on one hand she was correct to call him out on his reckless abandon for his safety, but on the other hand neither of these instances did he ever predict would happen. So how would he calm his sister down?

“Summer, look at me,” Rowan said.

Summer reluctantly looks up, wet streaks falling down her eyes.

Rowan asks, “How long have you known me for?”

Summer looked at him with confusion, “What? What kind of a question is that? I’m your twin sister, I’ve known you my whole life.”

“And how many times have I ever left you behind or hanging?” Rowan asked.

“Not....many times, ‘sniff’ or any times I think,” Summer said.

And when I make you a promise?” Rowan asked her.

Summer sighed, “Rowan...”

“Come on Sum, what do I do with all my promises? What mom taught us to do?” Rowan asks his sister.

“...We keep them,” Summer answered finally.

Rowan laughs, “Good. So when you hear me say, ‘I promise to not die on you or leave you all by yourself,’ you can always trust that I will alway be here for you. That’s because...?”

Rowan pats her head, then uses strands of her hair to wipe away her tears.

Summer does her best to laugh, wiping away the remainder of her tears, “You’ll keep it.”

Rowan nods, “Yep, so don’t expect me to die or anything, anytime soon. Kay Sum? I’ll make it through this training and be up to par with the rest of the class in no time.”

“Hmm right,” Summer sniffs before she pauses, remembering something important, “Oh... yeah, I just remembered something.”

“What’s that?” Rowan asks, raising an eyebrow.

Summer pokes her fingers while looking to the side,“Well, while you were unconscious, Mom kinda... fired Mr. Whitley as your tutor.”

“She WHAT?! Why didn’t you say that before?!” Rowan questioned.

“I was under a lot of emotions at the time! I’m sorry it wasn’t the first thing on my mind,” Summer said defensively.

Rowan groans, “I gotta talk to Mom-Ah!”

Summer reaches to help her brother, “Easy Rowan! You’re still pretty banged up. Also why do you want to talk to Mom?”

“Why else? To change her mind,” Rowan tells her.

“Wait, you want to keep Mr. Whitley as a teacher? Why? All he did today was toss you around,” Summer asks him.

“That’s not the point Sum, I know it doesn’t make sens but there’s a theory to his teaching. He’s methodical in his own way and was testing me today,” Rowan said.

“By pommeling you to the ground?” Summer asked unconvinced.

“...Yes? Look, I know it sounds really backwards, but he’s my last chance at passing this class, so if I have to get my ass whooped in order to get better then so be it. But to do that, I need to convince Mom to change her mind,” Rowan said urgently, trying to get off his bed.

“No need, kiddo.”

The Rose twins directed their attention towards the entrance of Rowan’s room to find both their Aunt and Mother standing outside. The former smiling at her niece and nephew, the latter looking at her son with concern.

“We heard a good bit of your conversation from here,” Yang told her niece and nephew.

“That we did,” said their mother.

Rowan swallowed, “Mom, I-”

Ruby raised her hand, causing Rowan to stop what he was trying to say and pay attention to his mother, who looked to want to say something.

“Rowan, I know you want to do anything that could help you get better in combat class, but I also want you to be safe while doing so. Training this way... being toppled until your black and blue, is not the way to go about it. I’m only looking out for your safety,” Ruby said to her son.

Rowan lowered his head, guilt swelling inside his stomach after seeing his mother’s concerned face.

“But it’s not Mr. Whitley’s fault...”

Ruby sighs, “Look I know you’re trying to defend him but he went-”

“It’s mine mom!” Rowan said to her.

Ruby looks confusingly at her son, she didn’t understand what he meant but decided to hold her tongue to hear what he had to say.

Rowan takes a moment to find the words he wants to say, “...Mr. Whitley wanted to stop after he saw that my aura was going into the red, he insisted that I stop and that I was done for the day. But I didn’t stop.... I kept pushing myself, kept charging him for nearly two hours because... I didn’t want the day to be wasted for nothing! I wanted to win! I want to prove to those other students that I have just a right to be there and not to feel like I’m some.... loser!”

After finishing, Rowan is left panting, his face red from all the hidden frustration that had been plaguing his mind. He now waits with nervous trembling, fully certain that his mother’s reaction will be very disappointed now that he has metaphorically spilled the whole can of beans.

He was partially right.

“Rowan, who’s been saying that you were a loser? Is it another student?” She asks.

“Peri Phelps,” Summer said.

“Summer!” Rowan yells.

Yang's eyes widened in realization, “I remember that name, he’s that student you were sparring with the other day wasn’t he?”

Rowan sighs, “Yeah, he was.”

“Rowan why didn’t you say anything to me about this, if he’s bullying you then the teacher has to be notified,” Ruby asks her son.

“It’s not that he’s bullying me mom, he’s just a competitive jerk who thinks he’s the best in the class and likes to rub his victories into other’s faces, just because his semblance gives him a better chance at winning,” Rowan tells his family.

“Yeah,” Summer said angrily while pouting.

“Well either way, training like the way you did today isn’t going to help you get better,” Ruby chided gently.

“Okay...” Rowan tells his mother.

“Which is why Whitley is going to make sure you’re being properly trained and not pushing you’re self too harshly,” Ruby adds.

Rowan perks up on listening to her, “Wait really? You’re not firing him!”

Ruby wasn’t finished, “Only because today’s mishap was your doing and he’s a family friend, kinda, so I’ll give him a break. But I expect you to do everything he says, understand?”

“Yes mam!” Rowan said happily, giving a nod and toothy smile.

“Good, now get some rest, both of you,” Ruby tells her children.

“Yes mom,” Summer said.

With that all three female members of the house began leaving Rowan’s room to allow the boy to continue resting. Ruby stood by his door and told him goodnight.

“Goodnight sweetie, sleep tight,” Ruby said.

“Goodnight mom,” Rowan returned.

Ruby whispered, “Also, don’t think we’re done about this Peri issue...”

“Yes mam,” He nods.

“...and make sure to hit him extra hard, ‘kay?” Ruby adds with a smirk.

Rowan laughs before smiling, “Yes mam.”

– End of Part 3 –

A/N: I wanna give special thanks to @thatorigamiguy and @tanakaclinkbeard for both being Beta-Readers and giving me feedback on this post. I spent A LOT of time on it and it’s thanks to them I was able to get it done.

Also thanks to you, everyone, for sticking with me, I know I haven’t been too active on this blog for awhile, but hopefully I can get back into the groove of things.

So I hope you all enjoy this post. Have a great day and be good people :)

#rwby #rwby post au #rwby rowan rose #whitley schnee #ruby rose #yang xiao long #rwby summer pyrrha rose #rwby kids #lancaster kids #oc story

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homogrimoire · 4 years

Text

Fun, Family, and Fishing

Fair Game Week 2020: Day 3 - Family / Weapons

Read it on AO3 here.

After months of planning, they were finally going on their camping trip, and boy did it take planning. It was a hard time to find a time where five adults were all free for a vacation. Eventually, they all decided to embark on their trip during the summer when Tai was free from his teaching job, and when fishing was in season. Qrow, Clover, Summer, and Raven just decided to use their sick days to get the time off. At first, it was just going to be them and Ruby and Yang, but then they begged their parents to let their friends Weiss and Blake tag along. They gave in quickly. They knew they could handle two more kids, and quickly met with the other kid’s parents to get the okay from them. To all the kids’ delight, they agreed. But then, all four of them ganged up on the adults to convince them to let their other friends, Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren, join in on the trip. The kids were around so much they practically were family, but eight kids seemed like too much, so at first, they said no. Then they saw the children’s puppy eyes. Then they fell for the puppy eyes and pleas. Then they went to get permission from all the kids’ guardians. And then they modified their plans to include eight kids instead of four kids, which had first only planned for two kids. It was hectic, to say the least, but it all worked out. They ended up renting two RVs and getting more supplies than they could carry. After a day of driving and trying to keep middle school kids entertained, they reached their reserved campsite nightfall, exhausted and tired. They decided to begin their activities the next day. Tai and Clover were the first to wake, used to an early schedule.

“Morning Tai.”

“Morning Clover.” They both began unloading the supplies for breakfast, though most of the cooking would be done by Tai. Clover wasn’t allowed to cook after the time he burned soup, which no one ever let him forget. The only thing he could cook well was fish.

“So, how was your night?”

“Pretty good, all things considered. Team JNPR fell asleep pretty quickly, and Qrow too. He is pretty good with kids after all.”

“Team JNPR?” Tai questioned.

“It’s what Qrow calls Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren’s group.” Clover clarified. “He calls the girls Team RWBY.”

“Hmm, I’m gonna steal that from him. If anyone asks, I thought of it on my own.”

“My lips are sealed.” Clover said as he motioned his lips shut.

“Anyways, my night was terrible. Try falling asleep while teenage girls giggle until midnight, AND, while Raven snores. I don’t know how Summer even fell asleep in the first place.”

“Damn. Well, at least we’ll have tents to sleep in tonight while the kids sleep in the RV.”

“Yeah, but I can only imagine what that’s going to do to my back.”

“Oh Tai, you say that like we're old men. We’re only barely fourty.” Clover shook his head at the silly notion.

“I do crossword puzzles on my lunch breaks and you collect vintage fishing tackles.” He deadpanned, looking Clover straight into his eyes. Clover opened his mouth to refute the statement, but realized Tai was right.

“Okay. I see your point.” Clover conceded. There was also the fact that he was starting to gray on his sides. He liked how it looked though, and so did Qrow, whose hair was already colored salt and pepper. As Tai started breakfast, Clover took out the tent equipment. The next to awake were Ren, Nora, and Qrow.

“Good morning Uncle Clover and Mr. Xiao-Long.” Nora greeted cheerfully. She and the other kids had started calling Qrow Uncle Qrow in elementary school when they started hanging out with Ruby and Yang and their cool uncle. He didn’t particularly like it at first, but soon grew accustomed to it. And when he married Clover, it was only natural that they would call Clover Uncle Clover. Needless to say, Clover felt honored and readily accepted the title, especially since he was an only child and therefore couldn’t have nieces or nephews. Ren, still waking up, had also given a respectful “Good morning as well.”

“Morning, and please tell me someone made coffee.” Qrow asked, his drowsiness evident. The drowsiness certainly wasn’t going to stop him from giving his husband a good morning kiss on the cheek though.

“Lucky for you, Tai did. I’ll get you some.” Clover went and poured him a cup of pure black coffee.

“Thanks Cloves.” He said as he eyed the cup as if it held the secrets of life. Graciously, he took a sip. “Ahh, that's the stuff.” He smiled as he began to feel the drowsiness fade away.

“Uncle Clover! Can I have some?” Nora asked with bright eyed innocence.

“Uhh,” he responded at first. He didn’t really know if he should give her any, but got his answer from Ren who seemed wide awake now. Behind her, he mouthed “no” and fearfully shook his head. “No.”

“Aww, why not?” she asked, deflated.

“Because …” she stared at him as he tried to think of a reason.

“It’ll stunt your growth. You want to grow big and strong like your uncles, don’t you? Of course you do.” He quickly said before she could answer. “Here, have some juice.” He tossed her a box of some juice, which she caught.

“Thanks Uncle Qrow!”

“No problem kiddo.” She then moved over to Tai to see what he was cooking. Clover let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks you two.”

“No need to thank us. We just don’t want Nora to run off in the wilderness and come back with a bear slung over her back.” Qrow told his husband as he took another sip.

“If you think she’s hyper now, you should have seen what happened in fifth grade when she drank an energy drink.” Ren, nursing a box of juice as well, said as he looked into the distance as if reliving a war memory.

“I’m pretty sure it left poor old Tai traumatized. But hey, he’s still an elementary school teacher, so it obviously wasn’t that bad.”

“I do not envy Tai’s work.” Clover replied as he sat down next to Qrow to take a break from unpacking. Next to wake up was Raven and Summer.

“Good morning. my wonderful wives.” Tai greeted them each with a kiss as he held a pan of cooking food.

“Too. Energetic.” Summer was obviously not a morning person “Need. Coffee.” She still had her eyes closed Raven guided her to a seat. She poured herself and her wife a cup.

“Morning Raven. You look great.” Qrow teased. She had a serious case of bedhead, which Qrow could not help but make fun of.

“I will throw you into the river, and I will laugh when your eyeliner gets ruined, little brother.” She glared at him as she took a long sip.

“Jokes on you, I didn't bring any.” He laughed at her, as she could only scowl at him. “Besides, I’d just have my knight in shining armor rescue me.” He gave Clover another kiss, which caused him to blush.

“Aww, look at that. Qrow and Clover sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” teased Summer, who had turned back to her usual self thanks to the coffee. Now Qrow and Clover were both blushing.

“Ha! Look at them! Nice one!” Raven exclaimed as she high fived her wife. Before anymore could be said or done, Tai announced that breakfast was done, and asked them to wake the rest of the kids.

“This isn’t over, Summer.” Clover mocked as he motioned that he would be keeping his eyes on her, his cheeks still flushed.

“Oh, I know.” she said as she smiled, excited for the antics that would follow, and went to wake up Team RWBY. While Clover went to wake up Jaune and Pyrrah, Raven and Qrow only glared at each other, occasionally taking a sip of their coffee.

With all the kids now up, the real party would begin. After eating and mingling with one another, they changed into their outfits for the main event of the day: a fishing contest. Tai had decided that he would stay behind to watch the stuff. Ren, Nora, Ruby, and Weiss had decided to stay with him, since Nora and Weiss didn’t like getting wet, and Ren and Ruby didn't want to leave their best friend behind. When Tai told them they could help with the tents, Ruby screamed “Yay! Child labor!” which had caused all the adults to laugh, except for Tai, who looked sad and tired already.

The last ones to change into their fishing outfits were Qrow and Clover. Everyone expected him to look the most prepared because the man had been fishing most of his life, and he did look the most prepared. A fishing vest, with his signature pin tacked on, cargo shorts, and shoes with good grip were all immaculate, despite years of use, save for the shoes that were recently bought. He looked like he was about to enter a fishing contest, save for one particular part of his clothing: his hat. It was a gift from his fathers on his twentieth birthday, much like his prized fishing pole that he lovingly monikered after his favorite bird, “aside from Qrow” he would often clarify, the Kingfisher. Naturally he carried the fishing pole and wore the hat with pride. What made the hat so unaligned with his outfit was the fact that it said “Men want me Fish fear me” on it. Stepping out of the RV with Qrow, Clover saw Raven do a double take. Once she was able to make out the words on the hat, she began to die of laughter, which caused Summer to turn to look at what had made her wife laugh so hard. As a result, she began to laugh as well, calling her husband over in between laughs. Soon, he was dying of laughter as well. Qrow took in a deep breath and exhaled.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know, and it’s all thanks to my good luck charm.” Clover sing-songed as he kissed Qrow on the cheek. He tried to hide a smile, but failed miserably. “Come on Qrow, let's go win our fishing contest.” Raven And Summer began to laugh even harder.

“You hear that Rav! They think- They think they’re gonna win!” They continued laughing.

“Laugh all you want now, we’ll see if you’ll be laughing later when you’re eating the fish we caught.” Clover taunted.

“I hope you like the taste of defeat, ladies.” Qrow said cooly, as if he and Clover already won.

“I’m sure they will. Now, let's get going. It’s already noon.” With that, Clover led the way to the river, Qrow by his side, the kids in tow playing around, and Summer and Raven behind the kids, recovering from their laughing fit. Soon, they arrived at a place where the deep river forked, one path remaining deep, the other turning shallow. As the kids played in the shallow area, the adults set up their fishing rods and chairs, one of them periodically going to the nearby shallow area to check in on the kids.

“All set!” exclaimed, the first to finish setting up. He stood back and admired his handiwork, everything neat and orderly. With that, he cast out his line, and waited. Next to finish setting up was Qrow, but only because he had Clover help him. Immediately after was Summer. While she wasn’t nowhere as talented in fishing as Clover, she was still a force to be reckoned with. Lastly was Raven, who was decent at fishing with a pole. And so, they waited, chatting about current events, their jobs, and the kids.

“So thats where Ruby learned about child labor, huh?” asked Qrow.

“Yup.” Confirmed Summer. “Speaking of Ruby, she recently asked when she’s going to have some cousins, and frankly, I wanna know too.” The two men began stumbling over each other’s words, explaining that they talked about it here and there, but never really seriously.

“Now’s as good a time as any.” Raven spoke. “You’re both about middle aged, have stable jobs with a good retirement plan, and you have us to help you out if you ever need it. After this trip, think about it maybe.”

“Wow Raven, that’s ... actually some good advice. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Clover. I dragged it out from the kindness I keep in my heart.” Raven joked, putting a hand over her heart.

“You have a heart? I wouldn’t have ever known.” said a smug Qrow.

“Fine then, fuck you. I just wanted to have another person to tell all the embarrassing stories I have about you.” She angrily, almost comically, cast a line back into the water.

“Hey, watch you’re fucking language, there’s kids nearby.” Clover reprimanded, pretending to be serious. They all just laughed. The loud children were too far away to be able to discern their words.

“Eh, but seriously, thanks Rae, we’ll think about it.”

“If it helps, just know that I would make a great auntie.”

“I’m sure you would, Summer.” Qrow replied, mostly focusing on the fishing rod.

“You know, there is one thing we talked about.” Clover teased, immediately grabbing the attention of the two women.

“Oh, yeah! Names. We were thinking either Basil, or Bluebird.”

“Those are nice.” Raven replied.

“They are. I get Bluebird,” Summer stated, “but how did you decide on Basil?”

“Like my namesake, it’s another plant that can bring good luck.” Clover clarified.

“Ahh, I see. Oh! Clover! Look!” Summer shouted. His pole had hooked onto something, and after a bit of fighting, Clover reeled in a decently sized fish.

“Think you could top this?” Clover asked Qrow specifically, with a wink and a smirk on his face as he put the fish in a bucket of water.

“I mean, I have before.” He replied, unphased. It took a moment for the women to catch on to what he said. Once they realized, they made sounds of disgust and made sure it was known.

“Ugh! Gods have mercy on me!” Summer screeched in desperation, covering her ears.

“I wouldn’t waste my breath if I were you. Trust me, I know. You know how many times they didn't show me any mercy in college.” Qrow shuddered at the memories of him accidentally walking in on Raven, Summer, and Tai. They resumed their normal conversations and soon slipped into comfortable silence, each of them catching a fish now and then, except for Qrow. By the time lunch rolled around and the kids had eaten and resumed their playing, Qrow had still caught nothing. Currently in the lead was Raven, though Clover had wondered why the fish weren’t as big as they usually were. He just chalked it up to luck.

“Fuck it.” Qrow said. He rolled up his pants and waded into the river. Clover watched in curiosity as his husband stood still with laser focus in knee deep water. Soon, his curiosity was replaced with awe as the man shot into the water and resurfaced with a fish that put him in the lead. Clover wouldn’t have said it out loud, but seeing Qrow glistening in the river with a big fish in his hands was kind of hot.

“Qrow where the hell did you learn that!? That was amazing!” After Qrow placed his catch in his bucket, he was met with a kiss on the lips.

“Looks like I better catch more fish if this is my reward, huh?” Qrow asked, knowing the answer to his question. Clover whispered his answer into Qrow’s ear. Apparently, he did not know the answer. His face got visibly redder, and he quickly went back into the river.

“Don’t think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it.” Summer repeated to herself.

“I think I know how to help with that.” Raven walked over to Summer, gave her a kiss, then walked into the water. Needless to say, it worked. Soon, after Clover and Summer caught another fish, too small to dethrone Qrow, Raven striked, and reemerged with two fish in hand, one big enough to take the lead. “We learned lots of things back when we were a part of that traveling tribe. Some of us learned better than others.” Suavely, she tossed the smaller fish back into the water and replaced the fish in her bucket with the bigger one as Summer cheered her on.

Sibling rivalry mode was in full swing among the pair. Mostly in silence, they continued their contest. Qrow managed to catch a bigger one, but was dethroned by Clover, which he didn't mind. Meanwhile, poor Summer remained in last place. She was starting to lose hope, until something that seemed particularly big got hooked onto her pole. By then, Raven and Summer had left the water and had packed up most of the stuff. She fought with it, slowly but surely making progress. However, as she was fighting the fish standing up, she slipped, sending her into the center of the river, where it was deepest. Summer had lost her rod, but had fortunately felt someone tug her back to the surface. As she broke the surface, she gasped for air.

“Oh Raven, my love, you saved me. That’s what a real knight in shining armor is like Qrow!” Her eyes still closed and cradled in a set of arms, she moved to give her savior a kiss, but felt something that something was off, and stopped. “Wait a minute…” she reached for the chest area and gave a light squeeze. They were thick, nowhere as plump as Raven’s, but thicker than Qrow’s. She knew that it could only mean one thing. She rubbed her eyes and opened them to face Clover.

“A real knight in shining armor huh?” he asked smugly. She gave a small scream and squirmed about, falling back into the water.

“None of you saw or heard any of that!” she yelled, pointing a finger at all of them. Her heart dropped when she saw Qrow on shore, holding his phone, the camera light on. “Oh gods no.”

“I did say it wasn’t over, remember? This’ll make for a great video to show everyone.”

“You monster!” she yelled as she pretended to try to drown the man, though that would be difficult, considering he practically grew up in water. Meanwhile, Clover was laughing and Qrow was laughing as he ran from Raven who was trying to steal his phone so she could protect her wife’s honor by deleting the video. However, their antics were interrupted.

“Mom! Uncle Qrow! Look what Blake caught!” Yang shouted from down the river. In the distance, they could make out what looked to be a large fish.

“Holy fuck...” Qrow stated in awe.

“Don’t tell me...” said Raven, also awestruck. “Hey!” she shouted at Clover and Summer. “Meet us down the river with the kids. You’ll want to see this!”

“Oh boy...” Clover knew that with this family, it was bound to be something interesting, to say the least. He and Summer swam over, seeing the figure Blake had dragged in becoming clearer and clearer. They could also see Raven checking Blake to make sure she was alright as Qrow untangled the line from the caught fish.

“No. Way. “They both said in unison. Once they reached shallow enough water, They ran to confirm that Blake was alright, and that she had indeed caught the fish that threw Summer into the water. Blake’s shyness was evident as her friends showered her with praise.

“Blake! Where did you learn to do that!? That was amazing!” asked Yang, proud of her best friend.

“That, its nothing.” she shied away, pushing her wet hair out of her face and turning her head to hide a blush. “I’ve been doing it with my mom since I was young. Really, it’s nothing spectacular.”

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short kid, that thing’s half your size. That’s nothing to sneeze at.” said Qrow. He had had low self esteem for a long time, and wasn’t about to let any of the kids put themselves down.

“That is very incredible Blake, but try not to do that again without letting us know. We just don’t want anything bad to happen.” clover explained.

“Yes, of course, I’ll be sure to let one of you know next time.” she stated.

“You do know what this means, right Blake?” asked Summer.

“Uhh, no?”

“It means you won our fishing contests silly! You caught the biggest fish! You Win!” Blake was confused at first when she was picked up by Raven and placed on her shoulder.

“That also means you get to lead the victory parade, little champion.”

“Ooh, mom, pick me up too!” Yang exclaimed. She wasn’t going to refuse. She had seen how close the little champion and her daughter were getting. It brought her comfort to know her daughter would be with such a strong person. Once the equipment and dinner packed and ready for transport, they marched back to their campsite, the children shouting Blake’s name as she was carried in front.

“Damn, what are the Belladonnas feeding her?” Clover wondered.

“Pure protein, by the looks of it.” Summer replied.

“Well, at least she’s alright.” Qrow said.

“Yeah.” agreed Summer and Clover.

The sun was beginning to set by the time they returned. By then, they were all beginning to feel tired and hungry once more. Tai and Clover made sure to make the fish mouth watering delicious. The served the first piece to Blake, whose mouth was watering at the sight. While the kids ate and Yang retold the story of how her bff caught the beat, the adults chatted some more. After dinner, they all roasted marshmallows and told scary stories. If anyone had asked Clover if he had yelped and grabbed onto his husband’s arm when an ominous howl coincided with the climax of Tai’s scary story, he would say it didn’t happen. Everyone else would beg to differ, especially Qrow. As it got later, the fire died and the kids who wanted to sleep outside retired to a tent, while the kids who wanted to sleep inside retired to the RVs. While there was room for the adults in the RV, they wanted to appreciate the cool air and beautiful night sky.

“Hey, Clover?”

“Yes, my Lucky Charm?”

“It’s been a nice day with you, and them.” Clover hummed in agreement.

“It has. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” They laid together in comfortable silence for a moment more, taking in the starry sky through their clear-topped tent.

“Beautiful view, isn’t it?” Qrow asked. Clover turned to face him. His deep crimson eyes shone a unique brilliance that was incomparable to anything else. Qrow had just looked so serene in the light of the moon and stars and the darkness of the night. Clover found himself enamored.

“Most beautiful sight in the world, if I must say.”

“Clover, I swear, if you’re─” he stopped mid sentence as he turned his head to see Clover staring right at him, obviously caught up in admiring his dark-haired husband. Qrow softly smiled back. Together, they silently admired each other.

“You know, I do think of you and your family as the best thing to ever happen to me. Never had a big family, and I’m pretty much all I have from my side of the family now. I guess I just appreciate you and your family a lot.”

“Our family, Lucky Charm.”

“Hmm?” Clover said, surprised.

“Our family. You’re as much a part of it as anyone else here, and we all love you just the same too.” Bewildered. Clover couldn’t think of a response. He was so used to the loneliness that he hadn’t really considered he could be a part of a family again. He moved closer to hug Qrow, who readily accepted him. He buried his head into the crook of his shoulders. And Clover wasn’t going to lie. He was crying a little. However, Qrow’s scent helped comfort him, as well as Qrow stroking his hair and the knowledge that he had a family.

“I love you Qrow.” Clover’s voice came out a tad strained, though it was almost undetectable.

“I love you too Clover.” With Qrow humming a song, Clover fell into a peaceful sleep. Soon after, Qrow fell asleep to the calm rise and fall of his husband’s chest. In this sleep, Clover had a dream, though he only remembered an image from it. Tai, Summer, and Raven were in it, as well as all the kids, albeit slightly older. Qrow was standing right beside him, their hands intertwined. In between them were two children who he could not discern. Yet, he felt happy, he felt like he was where he belonged, he felt love.

#fair game #fairgameweek2020 #qrow branwen #clover ebi #rwby

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psyga315 · 4 years

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Prelude

With Volume 7 just beyond the horizon, I figured to look back at my thoughts for Volume 5 and, through more cooled down eyes, boil down why I consider it to be the worst volume of RWBY. When I wrote my review of Volume 5, it was literally the night the episode premiered, so I was boiling. But now? I’m going to look through the review with fresher eyes and clarify what sort of problems I had with RWBY.

First, a bit of backstory. There was an interview made during the summer in between Volumes 4 & 5 that had the cast say what sort of themes one could expect for Volume 5. Among these were stuff like “building yourself back up again”, “shouting ‘we’re not done here!’”, “solving problems on your own”, and lastly, from Barbara herself, “Strength” and “Growth”. For someone who was just starting to realize why people were turned off by the darkness of Volume 3, this was uplifting to say the least…

Shorts

The Character Shorts kinda hyped the Volume, though they sunk in their own way. Weiss’s Character Short effectively foreshadowed her loss to Vernal. This tough and talented girl gets her ass stomped rather quickly and needed to be bailed out. Winter’s line about how she “won’t be around to save her” was foreshadowing to her not actually being in the season, but when I first heard it, I thought she meant “Hey, I’m going to die this volume, lol!” and that’s without bringing up how the trailer fails to hype Weiss up like the other trailers did.

Blake’s Trailer was alright, especially in taking steps to address a problem regarding Menagerie, but it felt more like Ilia given the backstory dump we got that feels all the more like mandatory reading. The problem is that, and it’s perhaps the very first problem I’ve heard about RWBY, is that the trailers (and by extension, anything that’s a spin off of RWBY like World of Remnant) feel more like you need to watch this rather than you can watch this. It’s confusing, but let’s use Blake’s Short as an example.

Ilia talks about her backstory as it is contrasted with a chase between Blake and a random dude we never see again. Assuming you’ve never watched the trailer, you’d just get the truncated version of “MUH PARENTS ARE DEEEAAAD!” and not the bits where she was forced to resent her own race because it was easier to blend in to her surroundings, like a chameleon. It’s ironic, since RWBY would do the reverse problem with Adam, where his trailer isn’t mandatory but we barely get a backstory for him beyond “I got branded, but everyone will speculate that it’s because I did something bad and not that it drove me to do bad things”.

Lastly, there’s Yang’s short, which had the minor hiccup of contrasting what an interview said about running out of Aura means you can’t use your Semblance. The Aura thing is something that can be discussed for another day, but the basics you should take away from this is that, for some time, people didn’t know how running out of Aura is symbolized. Most people take the flickering as the signal as the next hit on those guys are usually the one that does them in. As such, you had this huge debate on what kind of flickering means Aura broken and what just meant Aura is low, which, personally, could have been avoided if the writers and/or animators just utilized that Aura dust thing (seen prominently in the Bumblebee vs Adam fight) as their definitive “aura broken” animation instead of just using it some of the time.

First Episode

The first episode proper promised a lot. In fact, a good chunk of the first half promised a lot. However, it became much clear in a second viewing that a lot of it was just padding at worst and showing us where the characters are at best. But what I think was done dirty the most in this episode was introducing Mistral. We were hyped in Volume 4 (thanks to World of Remnant) that Mistral was this dichotomy of rich, cultural people and the seedy underbelly of criminals and that, at least one of the elements would be utilized in Volume 5. Unfortunately, all we got were a few mat paintings that contrast what Lionheart was saying in regards to Mistral being in chaos.

And so, the most we get out of Mistral are those mat paintings and a perpetually raining downtown that we don’t see much of, even when it gets briefly revisited in Volume 6. We’re supposed to be invested in the city and yet all we get are empty rooms and 2D art. They took great steps to improve this in Volume 6 with Argus, though, so if there’s any consolation, it’s that they learned from their mistakes here.

But we now get into the biggest problem of why Volume 5 is disliked. Because of the situation, the group are left to basically wait until Lionheart convinces the council to get them some Huntsmen. The heroes. Wait. In a volume where the writers were talking about the themes of improving yourself and pulling through with your own strength.

Do you guys see the problem here? I know people have bitched about Volume 5 to hell and back and you’ve probably heard the complaints to high noon, but this entire issue is what rots Volume 5 to the core the most. Not the piss poor fight scenes, not the inconsistent characterizations, it’s that the plotting decides to take a back seat when the volume was meant to be about taking action.

As the episode goes on, you see the problem unfold. Ruby and friends hit a dead end until Oscar appears and has Ozpin exposit things to them, Weiss is denied a chance to save people and fight the Grimm until the Grimm come to her, Blake is hit with the dead end of the Albains deflecting blame, and Yang had the chance encounter with Bakugou where he knows the hideout of her mom.

The closest person who is taking action here is Yang, who established that she is actively looking for Ruby (technically Raven, but as we see later on, moot point). Blake’s situation is being handled by her dad, Weiss is sitting in the plane until the Grimm come for her, and Ruby is sitting on the couch that I’m pretty sure has her grooves molded into the cushion with how many times she’s sat there.

Episode 2

A minor complaint before we go to Episode 2, we had the Stinger repeat itself because the crew thought that people wouldn’t see the stingers. This is the show, mind you, that makes a point to include scenes at the end of every volume, regardless of how long they are or what point they serve in hyping the next Volume. Hell, one of the major complaints about Volume 2 was about the stinger not mattering. So why did they suddenly decide that the viewers might not see the stinger in a culture where the MCU exists?

Alright, cooling things down, we have three major scenes in Episode 2. Salem’s chat with Lionheart was meh at best and wtf at worst. I get the idea of Salem using different approaches to get people to do what she wants, but the cool aspect of Salem was that her approach was not what a villain would normally be. Instead of berating or choking her minions should they fail or talk back, Salem instead talks people down like she’s a mother to them. Even when Tyrian fails, she doesn’t hurt him, but rather tell him that he disappointed her. So, having her choke Lionheart, even when in hindsight it made some sense, is kinda an odd thing to do.

But not as odd as Salem’s whole “Not you, Arthur” bit. A lot of people drew points to that and the best I can explain is that it’s either a typo (she’s meant to say not yet or not now) or Arthur and Watts are some sort of Jekyll & Hyde thing. Unfortunately, it seems Watts is more a parallel to Watson rather than Jekyll, so that brings me to believe that it’s a typo and so, rather than have an easy explanation for a problem, we just have a compounded problem. One of many.

And there’s something funny to be said about Salem warning Cinder about Silver Eyes when Ruby barely learns about it this Volume. And also that she wants to speak with Tyrian but we never see what comes of it. At all.

I only have one new thing about Weiss vs. the Bees. Originally, the pilot was supposed to be gay, but held off on it because they’d be killing off their first revealed gay character, something that wouldn’t look good to the fanbase. Now, while I understand the reason behind it, I have to question the logic behind why they think it isn’t okay for their first LGBT character to be offed, but instead be someone who seemed okay with murdering her crush’s parents while sending said crush to her abuser.

But more on that later, we have Sienna to discuss. Now, there’s a lot to dissect. For one, RT has obviously realized that they’ve messed up and brought Sienna back for a bit (while taking the heat for “if she’s so badass, why did she go out like a chump”). However, in hindsight, what purpose did she actually serve outside of some cute nod to Shere Khan?

All she did was tell Adam that he’s going too far and that’s it. And really, it just seems hypocritical for the leader of the White Fang to effectively restructure the organization into a terrorist group, murder tons of people, and then suddenly back away and say “woah, too much” when Adam proceeded to help torch Beacon. It’s to the point where one question most people want to ask at cons is “did Sienna order the hit out on the SDC”, since we don’t actually know and that it could be a radical leader of that quadrant like Adam.

It felt more like Sienna should have been just the leader of Mistral’s White Fang faction instead of ruling over all the White Fang, which would make more sense as Adam would need permission to attack a kingdom that isn’t his stomping ground. Then there’s the introduction of Hazel, who at first is presented to be a pretty decent character, not wanting to kill people if he had no choice, but as time goes on, is basically your stock “big soft guy with a secret hulk side” character.

Unfortunately, this episode didn’t help enforce the theme of taking action when it’s the villains who are doing it and seeming to be two if not twenty steps ahead of the heroes.

Episode 3

Episode 3 has that whole speech thing I overlooked. Barring Ghira’s speech that the crew said is based off Obama’s “we killed Osama” speech (which, if it is, paints the whole situation of Sienna’s death in a rather dark light) before Ilia interferes. Now, I actually liked that Menagerie is hesitant to stand up for Haven. After all, humans hated their guts so much that the island was originally planned to be a place where people could dump Faunus on. There were lynchings and enslavements that are still going on to this day, just in subtler forms, Of course the Faunus wouldn’t want to fight.

Then Ilia swoops in and robs Blake of any agency she has with the scene. If RT wanted to not let Blake convince the people until three quarters to the end, they should have cut the subtlety and have some annoying kid go “IT’S TOO EARLY IN THE PLOT TO DO YOUR SPEECH!”. Hell, let Blake tell her story about her team, but the audience balks at the fact that she’s not only friends with a Schnee, but also a human who crippled a guy on live television. Remember that plot point?

We then cut to Oscar and this is perhaps the reason I decided to do this revisit of Volume 5. The way Ozpin talks of action and resolve, it felt like we’re going to the root of the themes of taking action. No more being subject to the events of the plot like in previous Volumes. Now? Now is the time to fight back! And that built up to… what? One training scene and Ruby learning headbutt?

Granted, we see later on that there was a bit more to the plan, but for the most part, it seemed like an excuse for “character growth” as opposed to actual character growth. A training arc isn’t just some short scenes of a person lifting weights and jogging up stairs. Its meant to be a sort of means of growth for the character. There’s a reason most training montages have the character suck at first, but then get better by the time the montage ends. It’s because it’s the quickest way to show growth. But even without that, you could get some serious mileage for a pulled off training arc.

Rocky IV and Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back have some good examples of it. Rocky IV had the titular hero train and work out in the middle of a cold, mountainous range, while his opponent is simply given steroids. It shows the dichotomy between the two and how they view their eventual fight. Empire, on the other hand, had that masterful scene with Luke in the cave, where he has a huge moment of both foreshadowing and character growth.

Here? We just have Ruby learn headbutt like she’s nothing more than a Pokemon. There could have been a lot more done with it, like having Ruby put a lot more force in her punches, causing others to realize she’s extremely angry about what happened to Pyrrha and Penny, or, if the need to exposit about Semblances is needed, bring something new to the table that isn’t going to confuse the fuck out of people… Something like:

“Your Semblance might not reveal itself until you need it most” or something like that. Not “A semblance is someone’s personality, but not. Wow! Exposition!” or “Hey, remember how we said Aura was passive? Welp, not anymore!”

Not to mention that Jaune is seemingly cool with Ozpin suddenly coming back from the dead. Here’s the thing, last Volume had him upset with Ozpin about what happened to Pyrrha, something that didn’t seemed to resolve itself. Keep in mind that, for all rights and merits, Jaune believed Ozpin to have died. In fact, it was that confirmation that Ozpin had lost against Cinder that convinced Pyrrha to kill herself. Now here he is, seemingly stuck in the body of another kid and he just outright said this is a normal thing for him.

You’d expect him to have something more than “golly!”. The fact that he didn’t seem to have any aggression towards Ozpin until after he ran to his hidey hole in Volume 6 seems rather odd given that his entire character is that he’s angsting about Pyrrha and angry at Cinder for what she did. The group seem rather content to just sit back and let the plot happen, which is the opposite of what the crew was trying to convey with their themes.

Episode 4 and Episode 5

I still stand by what I said regarding how Episode 4 was a good episode, finally having a reunion between two members of Team RWBY, but it’s perhaps one of the last good things about RWBY we’ll ever see in Volume 5. Because Raven’s promise to tell Yang “the whole truth” turns out to just be regurgitated exposition at worst.

But first, we need to have Blake, the woman who doesn’t want her race to be labeled, turn out to have labels for her friends. Okay, granted, it’s not that dumb but it is kinda patronizing that we need to have a character tell us what another character is. While the rest of her speech is pretty effective in defining Blake’s character, making her perhaps the only character these themes of growth and strength actually apply to, it still is annoying that the most we take away out of this is her boiling down every character to a single word, then bringing up how Adam is going to ruin everything for the Faunus. You’ll see why this is a problem later. I liked the setting of Menagerie’s Shallow Sea marketplace thing and felt like Menagerie is wasted potential.

Ruby’s whole speech still feels like damage control, but with the added complaint of Ruby deciding to blame Salem for something Cinder did. Now, I heard the common excuse a lot: “Salem told Cinder to do it so it’s all her fault”, but that problem with that? Cinder told Emerald to kill Penny. So… Yeah. It is her fault. Hell, I wouldn’t have minded this if Ruby didn’t word it like Salem personally killed Penny and Pyrrha. Like as in, she just up and appeared out of nowhere and shot both Penny and Pyrrha in the head.

It still doesn’t fix the fact that Ruby is basically “hey, remember how I’m supposed to be upset?”

Lastly for Episode 5, we have the White Fang do the brilliant plant of murdering the chieftain who just spoke out against them. It’s dumb. Extremely dumb. What the hell do they think will happen after they murder the chieftain in cold blood? Menagerie is just gonna magically bend over and obey the White Fang? But perhaps the biggest waste is the White Fang in general.

You have these two sneaky fox brothers who seemingly oversee everything and even state that they’re only letting Adam do what he wants until he’s no longer of use to them, a buff bat dude, and a spider-lady… And they’re never seen again after this Volume. I get the idea, because RT is trying to wrap up the Faunus subplot as quickly as possible, but the problem that you can’t exactly introduce new characters or hidden depths if you’re just gonna throw them out with the bath water.

If they wanted to end the subplot, why did they put all the effort in some random characters that are just gonna be defeated off screen with a tea tray? Then again, this is a problem endemic to RWBY. Introduce this character, then quickly shoo them away before you’re committed to writing a plot for them. If you know you were going to half-ass the White Fang conclusion, why bother with stuff like more White Fang members or the SDC brand? In fact, why bother with the White Fang to begin with if you’re going to do so little with them?

Episode 6

Moving on before I lose my cool, we have Qrow aimlessly walking around downtown Mistral. Now, the crew said that Maria was supposed to be here… But… Why? What purpose would she serve? If she’s just gonna be a “hey, look, cameo to foreshadow Volume 6”, then that’s a horrible purpose. You know how most Cinematic Universes tanked because they spent more time hyping the next twenty movies when they should focus on their pilot? That’s what she would have been like.

Not to mention that she would have been caught in the crossfire of why Volume 5 was bad. “So here we have this random old lady who doesn’t matter at all to the plot so why is she even there” and then “Oh wow, she’s a SEW. They’re doing damage control to justify her unneeded presence in Volume 5”. And, don’t get me wrong, Maria is a fun lady and all that, but there needs to be a reason she was there beyond “hype for next Volume”.

What makes the problem worse was that they’re planning to include Maria so as to have a sort of Yoda to teach Ruby. This makes the complaint of “why didn’t Ruby ask about the Silver Eyes” even more of a complaint because now it seems like they decided “hey, we’re going to address it next volume, so let’s not bother bringing it up here”. Which is even worse than “hey, people noticed we didn’t address this so let’s completely invent this character for the sole purpose of addressing it!”

And then there’s Raven who is all “lol, I know more than you realize but I’m not actually gonna answer anything trolololololol” AARHG!

Okay. Okay. Before I completely lose my marbles, there’s one thing about the scene with Raven that’s stupid.

It’s the “there’s no such thing as magic” thing.

Okay. I get it. Turning into a bird is something that, in the world of RWBY, seems impossible. But there’s a ton of problems with this:

What makes summoning dead Grimm to fight for you so much more different than magic?

You’re willing to believe in magic rocks that augment your fighting style and are in fact part of a company that profits off magic rocks, yet turning into a bird is the messed up thing?

The guy who gave her this ability is currently inhabiting the body of a young boy and has said to basically devour his soul in due time, as well as create the magic that’s responsible for torching your school and your friend… And the BIRD is the most messed up thing!?

“But Raven made it sound like she was forced into it”. She didn’t seem to have any fucking problem with it though. Not only that, but it didn’t seem like a big dark secret that Ozpin wouldn’t want uncovered. In fact, he even said he gave Qrow and Raven the ability to turn into birds in an amused way.

Even more so when everyone but Yang seemed to respond to it with disbelief rather than outright anger. There’s a reason this whole bird issue was made fun of in Jello’s “So This is Basically RWBY” video.

Also, before we move onto Episode 7, I wanna bring up that the scene where Qrow visits the Shields is perhaps the reason why I hold Ozpin’s censorship of Lionheart’s role in the Battle of Haven to be one of the most scumbag moves he could have made. “Your mom’s dead, but don’t worry, the guy who sold her out is a hero!”

Episodes 7-10

Right, back to Episode 7. Okay, I’ll admit, it was a nice reunion scene all things considered, albeit with some rather unnerving things like Yang asking Weiss if she let the Boarbatusk skewer the trophy wife or even the dumb, patronizing “we haven’t made character arcs for us to go through so I’ll just say we had some”, since they had the great idea to use Ren, who is voiced by Monty’s brother, as the mouthpiece for that.

Unfortunately, this is the episode I always think back to when I think of Volume 5. The perfect epitome of a slow, monotonous Volume. The problem I have is that, yeah, it’s meant to be this breather episode, a calm before the storm, but this just feels like a long lull that’s made even more insulting with the cliffhanger. All it has is people dumping exposition that viewers have either figured out or weren’t even burning questions and I think the awkward silence that followed Ozpin saying how he was the wizard that gave the Maidens his power is the perfect epitome for just how boring the volume is. The dude just revealed a massive plot twist and it’s treated as nothing more than a “did you know” factoid.

While I liked how they addressed that Blake leaving Yang would have had some serious negative emotions in Yang, it felt rather half-assed that they basically resolved it with “hey, my mom’s drunk, so shut up and accept Blake the moment she comes back”, especially since it comes from Weiss, who told Blake at the end of Volume 1 that if she ever runs away again, she best let RWBY know. If they wanted to ship Bumblebee so badly, this would have been a great hurdle for them to come across instead of just “hey, let me resolve this plot for you”.

Now, the whole thing with Ilia… Let’s get the elephant out of the way. The way they revealed her sexuality, I feel, could have been done better. “You wanna know why I’m gonna kill your parents and bring you to your abuser? Because I wanted you to look at me like a lover!” There’s a reason why some fans label her as a “psycho lesbian”.

However, I want to bring up that Rooster Teeth did an excellent job at building tension during the climax of the Menagerie Arc. Sure, the cliffhangers were tiresome, but you couldn’t help but admit you were at the edge of your seat and it even did a good job at subversion. Even if they allegedly didn’t even intend for it to happen.

The constant dryness of exposition and dialogue exchanges is what made Episode 10 so much better than the other episodes. Not just because it’s action-orientated, but because it finally tries to get back to the themes that it was originally supposed to tell. Throughout the entirety of the middle portion of Volume 5, the group basically took a backseat and allowed characters and plots to happen to them rather than advocate for themselves. The closest thing we got to the theme of “building yourself back up” is Weiss talking to Yang about Blake.

In fact, the only actual characters taking action are the villains. Constantly roadblocking the cast, setting them in for a trap, and even aiming to screw each other over. These guys have more advocacy and agency than the main characters. The most any of them did was…

Burn down their own house and blamed everyone else for it, all while saying that the house is the message Adam wants to send.

Use a girl’s unrequited feelings towards them to their advantage, straddle them, and guilt tripped her enough for her to consider switching sides.

Cry about how things are not going their way until their hands start magically glowing.

Yelling at someone until they cry bitch tears and then have them run away without even bothering to close the door leading to the dangerous artifact everyone had been working so hard to keep out of enemy hands.

In the volume where the theme is “solving problems on our own”. Just because Yang drops the word strength a few times when bitching out at Raven doesn’t mean that the theme had been accomplished. In fact, they do nothing of their own accord and just follow a script. Even Ozpin, the supposed smartest guy in all of Remnant, doesn’t even bother to figure out a way to counter the trap. Just instead walk in. Hell, if Yang didn’t spot Raven, they’d be mulched.

But, back on track. Episode 9 was an entire waste that failed to pay off the expectations of what we had with the cliffhanger set up in Episode 7. “But it subverted your ex-” NO. There’s a good way to subvert expectations and being promised a fight after episodes of bland exposition only to have it be “lol, no, it’s just gonna be more talking” is not a good subversion.

No. Here’s a better way. Set up the cliffhanger like normal, but don’t show Cinder’s dragged out negotiation with Raven. Instead, have her “allying” with Cinder be a twist. That way, people’s expectations for what happened are actually, you know, subverted?

The Battle of Haven

But, you know where this is leading to… The Battle of Haven. Really, I don’t think I can say anything that hasn’t been covered by someone else. We all know it makes all the Vytal fights look like masterpieces by comparison, we all know the jokes about useless Weiss or Lionheart hogging the staircase, or even the plot holes of Raven knowing Cinder’s arm being Grimm but doing nothing about it or Blake, despite spending the past volume saying how Adam must be stopped, suddenly doesn’t care about him…

So let me cut it simply:

The reason this battle sucks might have to do with the crunch.

We don’t know how long this issue with Rooster Teeth had been going on for, but if it is indeed what people say it is and that animators don’t get paid for the last quarter or third of their work, then that might explain all the cut corners animators and writers made. Why the fights are broken up into one on ones or why fights are cut out entirely. Maybe they weren’t getting paid enough and thus, the quality of RWBY suffered as a result of it.

And that’s perhaps the shittiest thing about the Battle of Haven. It could have been this epic fight that would have made up for all the boring, drawn out scenes of exposition and chatting, but because Rooster Teeth got too greedy or even because of our own impatience (which, again, isn’t helped by the aforementioned long, drawn out scenes), we are treated to a final battle so broken and tiresome that the Battle of Winterfell manages to be a better final battle, with the only thing holding it back being that Haven had a better identity twist.

And if, for whatever reason, it isn’t due to crunch issues, then we have another problem. This was meant to be this hyped up rematch between the heroes and villains, who haven’t seen each other since the latter ruined the lives of the former. This would have been excellent to see how the killers of Jaune and Ruby’s friends would interact with them, how Yang would react to the person who framed her, even how the group had grown since their last battle…

But… if crunch wasn’t to blame for the quality dip and the writers intended for the fight to go the way it went… I have to say… What the fuck were they thinking!? So many moments could have been brought up here and yet they decided that they weren’t important enough to focus on! And now, with this battle over and done with, those moments lost their luster. If they decide to bring them up, it’d be too little, too late at best and “why the fuck are you bringing this up now” at worst.

I’ll deal with one commonly used example to get what I mean. Adam was established in Volume 3 to be a threat only made strong because he uses Blake’s emotions against her and has a Semblance that lets him dish out aura-breaking damage. Blake easily defeats Adam and has him on the ropes, only to let him run with a few excuses that some people have debated to death and back, when it would have been much easier for Blake to have to choose between apprehending Adam and helping Yang. Then, when he inevitably returns to haunt Blake next volume, suddenly he’s a threat that Blake is afraid of again despite Blake having “grown” to oppose him.

They wanted that “triumph” over him, but realize that by doing so, they’ve burned that opportunity to have the triumph be meaningful. Same goes with Emerald and Mercury. They had a good opportunity for Ruby to effectively call them out for their crimes like how Jaune did to Cinder, but instead she just headbutts Mercury. Yang had at least some closure on her arc with Mercury, but it was meh.

The Point in All of This

Hell, speaking of wasted opportunities, the reunion of Team RWBY, something that the opening had hyped and one that the fans had been waiting for since Volume 3 ended, is nothing more than an afterthought. They couldn’t even be assed to show Blake’s first fight back with Ruby and Weiss. That’s how little they cared. It’s like everyone was just wanting to get that paycheck but they needed to rush that final episode out the door and also need to make room for Gen:Lock and Nomad trailers. They didn’t even care about the stinger, as they basically ignored any sort of information relating to the stinger.

Perhaps the biggest reason why Volume 5 sucked so hard was that it was running off the heels of Volume 3. Everyone basically accepted that Volume 4 was meant to be a breather Volume, with lower stakes and lower drama (with the exception of possible death flags for Ren and Nora), but the moment they made Volume 5 the grudge match everyone wanted, then the stakes got raised back to the heights of the third Volume, only for it to fail to live up to the expectations. Sorry, I think I mean to say “subvert the expectations” in this day and age.

Though, I think the huge problem with all of this, and perhaps the biggest bottom line I can say, is that it might be due to Volume 3 going too over the edge. By killing important characters and even dividing the team, the villains had raised stakes up so high, that people began to take the show more seriously. When characters were vaguely hinted to die, be it through threats from the villains or even flashbacks, people fretted that they would die. When the villains go back to striking distance with the heroes, people desired a grand battle. When the show tried to deal with the ramifications that happened with RWBY separating, people wanted to know what was going through the characters’ heads.

And when Volume 5 failed to deliver/“subverted their expectations”, people considered it a bad volume.

But worst of all, it failed to live up to its own themes. Jaune was the only person to build himself back up again through deus ex hands, and we saw next Volume that it needed a statue for him to feel better. No one was in a position of giving up only to be defiant and shout “we’re not done here”, but instead cry “it wasn’t supposed to be like this!”. The big problem of Volume 5, make sure the relic is secure, is only solved because two characters had a catfight in the basement and the survivor didn’t bother to lock up because their daughter was too busy bitching at her. No one really grew or strengthened their resolve. The triumph… wasn’t theirs to have.

Although, it seems Rooster Teeth had learned from their mistakes, with Volume 6 being leaps and bounds better than Volume 5, regardless of what you thought of the latter half. Best of all, the themes promised in Volume 5 were shown prominently in Volume 6, albeit some of the scenes capitalizing on those themes feeling more like a child is having a tantrum because they couldn’t have the airplane.

To close out this rather long winded discussion, and to give people a tl;dr on the whole matter, Volume 5 failed to address the themes it had presented and instead just padded itself out, expecting people to accept it because it’s RWBY.

#RWDE #RWBY #Volume 5

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