Okay, so I guess this sits in the realm of Confessions.
I'm thinking about leaving tumblr. I'm not sure what I did or didn't do to cause this, but the people I thought of as my friends or at least closest moots hardly interact with me anymore. My posts, my fics, my reblogs, my comments to them... They are around, I see them on my dash, but...
It all sounds so middle school, but it hurts nonetheless, and I'm pretty sure anything that feels like middle school (even actual middle school) can't be good for anyone.
The thing is, I really love everyone, and I don't want to give up. But going around to literally dozens of peoples DMs to ask, "Do you like me?" "Are we still friends?" "Are you mad at me?" Is again a kind of painful kid trauma thing I just can't quite bring myself to do.
I feel like my time here is just sort of over. I started with little expectation, and to my surprise, I found community, felt well liked and valued, and then, it just sort of went away.
There was a time when I was really happy about my place here, and just that makes me so sad.
You don't have to answer or anything. I think it just feels kind of cathartic to write it down where if nothing else someone else will read it.
Anyway... I guess that's it.
Held on to this for a little bit because my heart aches for you and I want to wrap you in the biggest hug 💕 I felt I could have written something so similar, as so many are relating to this right now.
It’s so hard to not feel like you’re feeling when you see people you’ve connected with slowly pull away from you. It hurts even more when they’re still active but actively avoiding you. That fucking hurts deep.
There was a time when this space felt very welcoming and fun. And while I do still have fun, sometimes it doesn’t feel as welcoming— and I know I’m not the only one feeling this.
Cliques branch off, popularity fuels some to feel like they’re too good to interact with others, the vibe isn’t vibing like it use to. And like you mentioned, it can all make you feel like you’re being thrown back in middle schools wondering why you’re not good enough? What did you do to cause this? What’s the point of even being here in this space any longer?
I’m so sorry this has become your reality. I wish it was a simple fix or there was a perfect solution to make things better. I support whatever decision you make, your wellbeing and mental health matter most— just know this community will be a little less bright without you in it!!
You said I didn’t have to post this, but I want others who might be feeling the same to know they’re not alone at all. There’s a lot of us floating around with the same exact thoughts and feeling like we just no longer belong in this space.
You’re more than welcome to jump in my DMs or continue sending anonymous messages to my inbox if that helps you in any way 💕
Coffee Shop Asks
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Jack worked at fazbucks??? What was it like when he worked there?? Does he still have the apron??
Can we.
See him in it?
> man, yall wanna see this sexy orange bastard so bad it makes u look stupid.
> I dont blame u. here
> hehe. i frequented this location while he was there. that purple bloke wasnt there, i guess he skipped out on this one. man u would be surprised how many kids can be killed in a coffee shop tho. matt was there. told me henry put five kids in the espresso machine. jimbo was there too. told me henry ground them up into coffee grounds. whatever. i dont even know who henry is. if he really did it then he can make some sexy iced coffee. chopped up kids is better than the usual ground up roaches. look that up btw.
> anyways
> would
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aka Joel not knowing that he just prevented major docsuma moment from happenning (< destruction comic is the major docsuma moment in question)
Also Etho one more getting fixed in the worst ways possible, first superglue now this????
LMAOOOO EXAAAACTLY Joel just caused a huge fork in the timeline /absolutely not
ALSO NOT THE SUPERGLUE REFERENCE
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There’s a lot of “humans, fuck yeah!” and content like that, where people post about how humans are so much more special than aliens. This somewhat bothers me, and I’m curious to hear your thoughts on that phenomenon?
Are you talking in (Doylist) context of tumblr as a whole, or of sci fi fandom, or of NASA or SETI? Or is this in (Watsonian) context of the within-Animorphs forums we see in canon in #16, or post-war in #54, or is this about Animorphs fic/meta in general, or my Animorphs fic/meta?
To answer for myself: Any time I'm writing from Tom Berenson's POV, I am deliberately writing him with a massive pro-human anti-alien bias. That's why I had Ghost in the Shell hinge on him being dumbfounded by human villains. Hopefully it's kinda justified, if not excused, in light of his backstory.
Any time I'm not writing Tom, I will admit I have an easier time headcanoning about human society/human thoughts/human feelings than about hork-bajir or yeerks. I get paid to read and write about humans, and there is just less to know about taxxon society than human society. If I want to write about an andalite firefighter, then... do andalites fight fires? do they have jobs? do they search for jobs? do they apply for jobs? do they interview? do they get paid money? do they have money? do they have fire? So on forever. It can be paralyzing. Writing humans is often easier, at least for me.
To speculate about all of fandom: I assume that every tumblr poster and sci fi reader is a human. And that it is easier to feel love for the species to whom one's best friend, lover, and favorite cousin all belong, when compared to a species that is strictly imaginary. We could argue forever about if yeerks are monsters or lovers or fascists or victims or all of the above. But if I say "humans are awesome," most of us will simply think of our favorite human, and smile.
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A collection of my aus and posts:
Consider this a map for my blog for easier navigation and finding posts (will be updated when needed). Not all posts are linked but all posts are tagged.
:)
One Piece (they got too many lol)
shuggy
zosan
frobin
more!
even more!!
Trigun
Eye of Michael cigarettes
Beauty(s) And The Beast au (kinda)
Immortal! Vash
Dr Who au
Small town dr Eriks
Guardian x teacher au (1), (2)
Fast and not so furious au (1), (2), (3)
Dating app vashwood
greek mythology vashwood
Orpheus and Eurydice vw
ghost hunters au (1), (2)
thoughts (1)
reborn wolfwood (vw)
"Joline" vashwood
The witcher
bitter Jaskier
non-human! Jaskier
Superheroes
into the spiderverse Peter B and Miguel neighbors
spideypool soulmate au tropes
Horrid Henry
post-canon, (2)
Ralph thoughts
adoption
thoughts ok bg characters (1)
sketches (1)
hh band au
car accident
Henry and Peter's relationship
cowboys
Others
Hannibal coffee shop au
Stranger Things pining Eddie (1), (2)
Murther Sailor Moon au
chainsaw man akiangel incorrect quote
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