#he decides to comfort an almost stranger while they die | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr.com rank in the US is 25.

#he decides to comfort an almost stranger while they die

everlastlady · 6 months

Text

Sins With Human S/O

✘Posted: 11/8/2023

✘Story Contains: Human gn reader, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Mammon, Fluff, Nsfw, heartbreak, sins just loving their human partner.

✘Word Count: None

✘Author's Note: This has been sitting in the back of my mind for a while so I decided to finally write for y'all. Remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡

Asmodeus:

You had met Asmodeus when you were trying to make a deal with a demon to get your ex back. You wanted a simple demon but you accidentally summoned the big man himself, Asmodeus, of course he was confused on how you summoned him. Because it’s usually a meeting thing but you summoned him upon command. He would have been mad because he’s a busy man; but when he locked eyes with you. He thought you were a sight for sore eyes so he asked you what you wanted and why you had summoned him. With teary eyes, you told him that you wanted your ex back, you told him how your ex cheated on you with your best friend. The reason he cheated and left you was because of your body, that you were boring, and annoying. Now Asmodeus didn’t know your ex but seeing that you were all teary eyed over some asshole made Asmodeus upset. The lust lord sat on your bed almost breaking it. But he patted a spot next to him. You tilted your head in confusion but sat down with him. Asmodeus took his time hitting you with harsh reality. “ You can’t force someone to be with you. Sometimes people will come into our life and stay while others leave. But it’s good when the bad people leave, and that guy you were dating is a real asshole; honey, you don’t need him at all. Let me be the one to show you what love actually is. Because I think you look beautiful just the way you are. “ Asmodeus offered his hand. You weren’t sure about this but you decided to give Asmodeus a chance - what started as a beautiful friendship and the king of lust showing you about what love really is soon turned into a relationship.

Asmodeus is no stranger or idiot when it comes to humans. So when he started dating you and visiting you. He would of course go up in his human form. The brown skin male with the long red and blue braids will always greet you with a smile. He’s still bigger than you, which you don’t mind. Though he does like going back into his actual form in the comfort of your home. Asmodeus loves your home, it’s cozy and quiet. He sometimes does his work here or reads a book there. He’ll bring you flowers everyday so now you have a little garden in the back of your home and a couple of flowers in your home, that don’t die. Asmodeus is always there to tell you good morning and goodnight. Sadly he can’t take you to Hell but he tells you all about Hell. “ Yeah, babe, it’s not really how movies depict it. “ He laughs at the questions or theories you have on Hell.

His guilt pleasure with you in the human world is when. It’s a cold day and raining, the two of you have the fireplace going and are snuggling on the couch in a large light blue heavy weighted blanket, drinking hot chocolate, and watching romantic comedies. Of course the two of you have the best snacks and foods on the table. Asmodeus loves to have you on his lap whether he’s in his human form or demon form. Moments like this make Asmodeus happy because he loves the rain and spending time with you. “ I gotta give it to you humans, you guys know how to make a good romantic comedy… sometimes. “ Asmodeus would place kisses on your head, neck, and cheek during the movie.

Your ex eventually shows up trying to get back with you. But when the door opened up, Asmodeus was standing there and he recognized your ex, when your ex asked who Asmdodeus was, the lust king grins. “ My name is Toby, I’m {Name}, boyfriend, you must be that shit ass ex they told me about. “ Asmodeus glared at your ex, who stood there looking up as Asmodeus who stood there in his human form. Your ex peeked in to see that you were wearing a long dark blue t-shirt that belonged to Asmodeus. “ {Name}! “ You ex called out for you, trying to get inside your home but Asmodeus blocked his way and pushed him outside. Closing the door behind them both; you stood there drinking from your mug hearing screaming that belonged to your ex. After a couple of minutes Asmodeus walked back inside. “ He shouldn’t bother you anymore. “ Asmodeus placed a kiss on your nose as you chuckled.

He eventually shows you pictures and videos of Hell. “ This is the ring of Hell. I owe the Lust ring, it always rains there. Here is a video of me and my friend Fizzarolli messing with some Imp because they were singing a love song at my place of business “Asmodeus laughed. But you looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “ I know I’m a hypocrite. “ Asmodeus crossed his arms. " But I had to keep a reputation cause Hell. " Asmodeus rolled his eyes. You kissed his cheek to let him know that you understand.

Sex with Asmodeus is fucking amazing. This man is the king of lust so he knows how to make your body scream and cream with pleasure. Sometimes you have to take a time out because you are a trembling mess. Asmodeus will cover you in hickies. But he's gentle with you when it comes to sex; he'll only be rough if you ask. He's also not afraid to test out any kinks yoi have. After sex, you'll receive the best aftercare. A bubble bath, while Asmodeus tells you how good you were during sex. He'll make you a nice snack and get you some water because liquids are very important after sex. He'll change the sheets and then place you in bed. After he cleans himself up, he'll cuddle with you in bed.

Beelzebub:

Your friends invited you to a party. You weren't really a party person but you decided to go because you could use a fun night out. So as your friends were dancing, you walked over to the snack table. The host of the party. Trevor always threw amazing parties because he was rich, so the snack table always had such delightful goodies. So when you saw that there was one last slice of cheesecake you went for it, only for someone else to go for it. You looked up to see a tall woman with long blonde mess hair that had some blue and pink streaks. She was wearing a pink shirt with a tye dye heart on it and some matching shorts. She was tall woman with crazy black eyeliner and beautiful pink eyes. " Oh? Did you want this, you can have it. " She let go of the plate of cheesecake. Her smile could light up a room. She gave you one last smile before grabbing another snack and walking off. You stayed by the snack table eating the cheesecake, after a while the party became too much for you. The music was now blasting, the colorful flashing lights hurt your eyes, and loud chatter was making you feel overwhelmed. You couldn't even find your friends, you began to panic until you felt someone grab your hand and pull you outside, away from the loud party. The night sky looked more peaceful, you looked over to see the woman you met earlier at the snack table. " You okay, small fry? " She asked. While handing you a water bottle. You smiled and nodded not knowing that this moment soon became a friendship and soon a relationship.

Beelzebub is the sweetest girlfriend. Even when she revealed to you that she was the queen bee of Gluttony when showing off her demon form. She expected you to run off screaming, but no you love her even more. You find her lava lamp tummy, really cool. Beelzebub tells you that she only comes to the human world to party with humans, she is the reason such amazing parties happen. But now she always comes up to see you. She always brings you food or snacks when she comes to hell and these are things from Hell. Which you become fascinating with the meals in Hell. Beelzebub understands that you don't really like parties so if you ever want to leave a party early, she understands and will leave with you.

Her guilty pleasure is playing video games with you. So the two of you have a game night. With the best snacks, you two play all times of games. She loves playing fighting games with you like Mortal Kombat or Smash Bros. " Shit, honey, you always win but one day, I'll win. " She teases. She also loves to do tye dye with you, a fun peaceful activity for the two of you.

She doesn't let anyone hit on you at a party or make you feel uncomfortable. Last creep that tried some funny shit got punch into the table by bee. " Don't touch, my damn partner! " Bee would try her best not to shift out of her humanity form because she doesn't want to scare anyone at the party.

Bee shows you pictures and videos from her parties in Hell. She wishes that she could attend these parties but humans aren't allowed in Hell. But she let's you taste some of Beelzebub juice that she made and it taste good. That you have a bottle in your fridge. Good thing none of your friends touch it because you ask them not to do so. Beelzebub juice does nothing to humans but make them have party energy.

Sex with Beelzebub is sweet as honey. She puts the sweetness in her love, you also know it's time for sex when Beelzebub appears behind you with a can of whip cream or sometimes honey. Beelzebub is sucker for licking and sucking things off of you. She's a pro with her tongue and fingers. She loves to be on top, to be dominant. She could be a soft dom or a rough dom, it all depends on what you ask her. Aftercare is always something Bee never forgets. She'll sit in the tub with you and wash you up while talking about what plans you two could have tomorrow. After caring for you both; she will cuddle up with you in bed while watching some tv.

Mammon:

You were having trouble with money, especially after leaving your parents home because you were sick of them controlling your life. The job you took wasn't really grand especially since your boss was horrible and a creep. So you ended up quitting so with bills piling up, you became desperate and decided to try and strike a deal with Mammon the demon of greed. After obtaining a book from a sketchy guy in a van. You went home and set everything up, after lighting the candles and doing the chant. You sat there for a couple of seconds and nothing. With a sigh of defeat you decided to heat up some leftovers; you walk into the kitchen but stopped when you saw a large jester like spider going through your fridge. You cleared your throat, and he turned around. " Oh! Hey there, you know your fridge looks pretty sad mate; probably why you summoned me, which I'm surprised that shit worked. " Mammon slammed the fridge close and walked up to you. When getting a closer look at you, his face felt hot. " You ain't so bad looking for a human. " He said. You weren't sure if you should be offended or not. " Well let's get this deal going, the more time I spend standing here, I loose money. " Mammon picked you up, not knowing this was the start of an interesting relationship.

Now you didn't expect to be dating Mammon and Mammon didn't expect to be dating you. But he didn't mind having you as a partner. You were quite sassy and took no shit from him. You knew all his bullshit and tricks. So he could never pull a fast one over. Mammon does spoil you a lot, to the point you don't really have to work. You always see that Mammon has some how put money into your bank account and that your bills have been paid. No tricks, just him being a sweet boyfriend with a shit eating grin. Anything you want he'll buy it so that you don't have to worry.

Has a human form like the others. The chubby Australian man loves holding your hand when you two are out in public. His black hair that had green streaks. He wore a long sleeve green shirt under neath his black jacket and had black pants. You thought he looked handsome, Mammon knows he's handsome. Cheeky asshole. But he takes you to any shops or food places you want or theme parks. " I should build a Disneyland in Hell. I'll call it Mammon world and charge $500 for a ticket. " He would go on about what it would have. You would playfully roll your eyes and listen to your boyfriend talk about his plans for this theme park and the outrageous prices.

His guilty pleasure with you, is doing absolutely nothing... Yup, Mammon is working man. But when he's with you, he gets a break so he loves to just lay in bed with you and cuddle. He'll rest in his face into the crook of your neck while sleeping. He holds onto you tight, but not to tight because he doesn't want to break you. But he enjoys these moments of naps and cuddles with you. Even if you are awake, he'll still be asleep by you.

No one should piss off Mammon, so when he hears about how your ex boss harassed you out of the store because you went to do some shopping. So that night when you fell asleep, Mammon paid your boss a visit. That morning when you were cooking breakfast for you and Mammon, you turned on the news and saw that your boss was murdered. You knew it was Mammon because he used your bosses blood to paint his symbol on your boss's office wall. You turned around as Mammon was whistling innocently. " .... He's in Hell in my ring, so he'll suffer more. " Mammon said and went back to whistling. You nodded your head went back to cooking not wanting to show Mammon your smirk.

Yes, Mammon is a greedy bastard but he's not greedy when it comes to sex. He loves to give you the best of the best. The highest quality of pleasure - he will use the four arms, because those four arms work wonders. Sorry but he can't control the honking during sex when he's pounding into you, so you'll have to deal with the honk when he's hitting it from the back or front. After sex, he'll give you after care and wash you up. " That was fun, we should do that again but next time on my web, I could tie ya up and maybe a blind fold. " Mammon could go on but eventually stops after you two end up in bed cuddling while Mammon places kisses on your head, telling you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to him and he wouldn't trade you for any amount of money.

#helluva boss #hazbin hotel #helluva asmodeus #helluva beelzebub #helluva mammon #helluva asmodeus x reader #helluva beelzebub x reader #helluva mammon x reader #helluva x reader #helluva fandom #helluva fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction #helluva everlasting #everlasting writes🪻

662 notes · View notes

ponderingmoonlight · 4 months

Note

Can we get a yuta x fem!reader where he saves reader in Shibuya just in time after not seeing her this whole year?

sounds like a plan to me, let's do it hehe

Yuta saving your ass in Shibuya

Pairing: Yuta x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,7k

Synopsis: You have enough. After fighting for multiple hours in Shibuya, you are the brink of giving up your life, of giving up the pondering about a future with Yuta. Little do you know he's already on his way to Shibuya...

Warnings: language, TW! reader accepts the threat of death (and kinda wants to die), angst but comfort, not fully proofread

„Fuck!“, you cry on top of your lungs, bruised fingertips digging themselves into the debris underneath.

You are so damn tired. Tired of the horrible things you had to endure on this cursed evening, tired of all the senseless fighting, tired of death crawling up your spine. Maybe you just have to realize that your time has come, that you’ll be next. After all those people losing their lives today, it’s finally your turn.

“I’ve done enough”, you mutter to yourself.

The countless creatures in front of you cry out while storming towards you again. The people behind you scream in horror, so scared of dying that it wrenches your heart.

Why? Why do you have to be so damn emotional about this, so wrecked by their helplessness? You shouldn’t bother about their fate at all, should just sit here and await your very own relief in silence.

But instead, you lift yourself back up and draw your sword. Again and again, you slash into their bodies, paint the town around you in purple. Every fiber of your being begs you to stop, to just run away and never return, to sit down and let them slice your head off to end this madness once and for all.

It was definitely easier when he was still around. Yuta Okkotsu, special grade, probably the strongest after Satoru.

And the boy you hopelessly fell in love with until he decided to leave you behind. It’s been a year since you’ve last seen him, a year since you really talked to each other. Damn, how much you wished to see him one more time before you die, to at least tell him about your unwavering feelings. Why the hell are you so attached to him after all this time anyway?

But Yuta Okkotsu isn’t enough. The unsaid words between you two aren’t enough motivation to keep going after you’ve seen Nanami die, after both of Toge’s arms got sliced off, after Sukuna almost killed you.

No. You are so damn tired of it all. Fuck your pathetic life, fuck those people you don’t even know.

“I…I can’t…do…it…anymore”, you huff out.

Like in slow motion, your bloody blades glides out of your weak grip, falling onto the ground with a loud clinking.

This is it. Your final moment on this earth. Maybe that huge curse will bite your head off and let it all end quickly. Hopefully you wake up somewhere nice, maybe at a beach or something. And maybe, just maybe, your brain is able to trick you one last time into thinking that he’s here, that he thought about you as well, that Yuta Okkotsu didn’t forget about your existence.

Just a single moment and it will be over. Just one last breath in this cursed place.

You allow yourself to close your eyes, the desperate cries for help fading into the background. The pain that holds your body, all the horrible things you’ve seen…You smile to yourself gently while sitting down. It’s finally over. Now you’re finally able to rest.

And so you wait in silence for their sharp teeth, for them to finally slice your head off. But something seems off…You furrow your eyebrows. What has gotten into this thing? Is it full already? No, these monsters never get enough. It has to me something else.

“Hey, are you alright?”

You hold your breath, eyes snapping open in an instant. That familiar voice, that white uniform…You glare straight into the stranger’s face.

But no, that isn’t a stranger.

This is Yuta Okkotsu.

“(y/n), is that really you? What were you doing here? That curse could have killed you!”

His words don’t fully reach your ears, cries of the curse who gets eaten alive by Rika ringing in your ears. This can’t be true. He…He wasn’t even on the continent. How did he get here? And why on earth is he standing right in front of you?

Suddenly thick anger rises up your chest. Anger because he your left without really telling you. Anger because he didn’t write or reply to your messages frequently, anger because Yuta never seemed to fully care about you after the year you’ve spent together, after the secret kiss you’ve shared. And now he’s standing in front of you with that single droplet of sweat running down his face, asking what you are doing here.

“You have some fucking nerve”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

You lift your trembling figure off the ground, pushing him backwards with all the strength you have left only to stumble over your worn-out legs.

“You disappear for a whole damn year, never really care about me and then you ask my what I’m doing here!? Do you want to know what I did? I tried to save these people, tried to justify the countless dead jujutsu sorcerers, tried to free Gojo-sensei! What were you doing all this time, why didn’t you even ca-“

With a swift motion, he gets down and wraps his arms around you, cages you against his body. No, you don’t want to be near him, you need to get away, you…

Can’t help but cry.

“Why did you leave me here without saying anything?”, you mutter desperately, fists banging weakly against his chest.

Fuck, why does it have to feel so comforting, why do you have to realize just how much you missed him and the way he holds you? Why does it have to be so damn hard to stay mad at him when all you need right now is a big comforting hug?

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am for all those things. When I heard what happens here in Shibuya, when no one could tell me that you’re safe…On my flight back here I regretted over and over that I didn’t have the guts to tell you how I feel”, he whispers against your bloody ear.

“Please tell me you’re alright, tell me I wasn’t too late”, he begs.

Gently, he lifts up your face, forces you to get lost in his blue eyes. Oh, how badly you want to push him away, tell him to leave this place and let you die. But instead, you just stare at him, watch how he scans your body, your countless injuries.

“How long have you been fighting here alone?”, he mutters.

“4 hours. Maybe a little longer. I lost count some time ago”, you mumble, tired eyes still set on him.

He looks so different from when you last saw him. How is it even possible to turn from a boy to a man in the matter of one year? His chest seems wider, jawline even sharper, eyes clearer than ever before. But what changed the most is the way he carries himself. The man in front of you isn’t insecure and fearful. No, he seems absolutely aware of his immense powers, killing of that grade 1 curse with ease.

“You look shocked.”

“I definitely am. After all, a ghost is talking to me”, you reply dryly.

What hasn’t change is the fact that his eyes seem to be the mirror of his feelings, instantly filling with sorrow by the sound of your harsh tone.

“I didn’t want to leave you behind. But…I had no other choice, (y/n)! I owed it to myself and Riko-“

“Oh, so now it’s Rika and you, huh?”, you bark.

Enough. You stand up faster than expected, shooting back up only to lose balance and falling back into Yuta’s open arms.

“Hey, slow down. You have to be exhausted.”

“Yes. Yes I am fucking exhausted. Exhausted from that senseless fighting, exhausted from hearing your excuses! What was the real reason you just left me in the dark? Was it because of Rika, because you don’t care about me like that? You should have thought about that before you kissed me the night before you went to different continent-“

“Trust me, I thought about you all the time, I loved you all the time, (y/n)! It was just as hard for me as it was to you. The last thing I wanted was to leave after that night, but I had no other choice. It was my only chance to train properly, to get the best of me. If I could, I would have taken you with me straight away. But I couldn’t. And I’ll probably never forgive myself for leaving you alone in this mess, for almost losing you!”

He grabs your face passionately, makes you forget how to breathe. Is this really Yuta Okkotsu talking to you? Is this really Yuta Okkotsu leaning closer, his lips only inches away from yours.

“I loved you through everything, (y/n). And I hope you did as well.”

“Are you serious?”, you breathe out, staring at him in sheer disbelief.

“You were the only thing on my mind all this time. You and…that I never told you that I love you”, you blurt out.

You aren’t even able to turn away from him. In the matter of seconds, his lips are pressed against yours. Just like the last time you’ve seen each other, just like he did at his dorm a year ago. Sparks fly, your heart shivers in sheer excitement. Oh, you’ll definitely not forget that he just left you, that he didn’t message you on a regular basis.

But at the moment, you just close your eyes and let the sensation of his hands caressing your face while his lips brush over yours so tenderly sink in. Just a few minutes ago, you were kneeling on the ground, ready to let yourself get killed here in Shibuya. And now he’s here. The countless nights you pondered when he’ll come back, how he’ll act, how he’ll look.

When reality is so much better.

“I promise that I’ll never leave you again. I’ll make it up to you”, he mumbles against your parted lips.

“I sure hope so.”

Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0@ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso @gojosrealwife @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi@weebotaku21@chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain @risuola @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez@belovedvamp@wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82

361 notes · View notes

libraryraccoon · 2 months

Text

The Aeon Of Creation : Surprise ?

P1 (here) -> P2 (coming soon)

TW : English isn't my first language, bad english. Spoil Penacony quests.

Gender : Male/GN

Pronouns used : He/They

Info : I was sad when I haven't found any hsr sahsr au, so I decided to write one.

There was an Aeon that everyone know in the universe.

The first Aeon that have been appeared, The Aeon Of Creation.

It’s said that The Aeon Of Creation was the first being that had appear, that it’s them that have create the universe, the worlds, and that have created the others Aeons. That it’s them that say who can be an Aeon.

But no one has seen them for a while now. Even the others Aeons were worried, even Nanook.

It’s only decades later that a trailblazer saw them.

<----->

His name was Caelus, he was in a dream at Penacony when he meet them.

They seems so familiar, but also they seems like a stranger.

“Excuse me.” Said the grey hair, looking at the h/c hair. “Have we met before ?”

They had h/l h/c hair, e/c, s/c, and they were wearing a white shirt with a sleeveless sweater on top, a trench coat, black pants and shoes.

They had a men body, and they look like a men in every way. But, more Caelus was watching them, more they don’t seems to be human, and more they remember him someone- but he don’t know who.

It was.. strange.

“Maybe yes, maybe no.. Who know ?” ask the person-thing. “I'm sorry, I have a bad memory."

They were lying, Caelus didn’t know how, but he just know it.

He hate when people lie to him.

“I’m Y/N and my pronouns are he/him. Just a person traveling in the universe. Nice to meet you.” He introduced himself lifting his hat a little in a sort of reverence- since when did he have a hat ?!

Caelus ask no question -he was used to things like that.

“I’m Caelus, a nameless.” He said, Compared to usual, he didn't make a joke or show off like he usually did. He didn’t really think about it at that moment.

<----->

Caelus was often with Y/N.

They was what we can called ‘best friend’.

Every time Caelus was in Penacony, he would go straight to Y/N.

Y/N gave off a sort of comforting and familiar aura. One that he found difficult to part with. Maybe the reason he clung so tightly to his friend was to avoid a repeat of Firefly, to protect him. Caelus didn't know, and he didn't search for an answer, focusing on the present.

“Caelus ! Do attention ! I swear one day you will die soon if you continue like that !” His friend swore as Caelus passed on the road to join him, not paying attention to the passing cars, almost being run over by one.

Caelus only give a nervous laugh at that.

<----->

Being the Aeon of Creation for them was boring.

They knew everything, having nothing to learn. That annoyed them. They wanted to learn, to discover things.

But with their creations worshiping them, some much, MUCH, more than others, it was impossible. So they took a human form and visited the planets, the worlds, that they had created from another point of view.

<----->

Humans were very attached to all this gender and sex stuff, so they took on a masculine appearance and he/him pronouns. Like that, they really look like the other humans ! Well, except for their blood. They had a blood that was like the universe, no, that was like their blood was the universe ! Just like their tears. And it's never touching the ground, disappearing in the air. They had to be careful for not being hurt or crying in front of people (but why and how they know their tears colors ?)

They was travelling alone until they meet him.

He was a boy with short grey hair and yellow eyes. His name was Akivili.

They traveled the universe together, in the Express.

Akivili was their first friend, their first best friend,

Their first love.

They were really closed, and the Aeon realized too late that they were falling for him.

The day they wanted to confess, Akivili disappeared.

The Aeon of Creation have done all for finding him, but always in a human form, they didn’t want people to realize who they was.

And, one day, in a dream they meet someone that look like Akivili.

His name was Caelus, a nameless, just like Akivili.

The Aeon of Creation thought that maybe, just maybe, he was Akivili, a reincarnation, or a descendant of him. They were sure the two were related.

Especially that he have the name Akivili wanted to give to his son.

The day before the Creator turn Akivili into an Aeon.

“Hey, if one day you have a kid, what name will you give them ?” ask Akivili.

“Huh- I don’t know ?” said the Aeon confused. They thought about how everyone always gives two names to this question, one feminine and one masculine. “Aether if it’s a boy and Stelle if it’s a girl.”

“Great names. You’re always creatives for names.” Said the mortal.

“And you ?”

“Caelus if it’s a boy and Lumine if it’s a girl.” Akivili answer easily.

Akivili always had something for picking great name.

It’s him who gave them the name Y/N after all.

So, for knowing who really Caelus was, they decided to stay with him.

Of what they had understood, he lost a dear friend, so Y/N helped him at the same time with all his grief thing.

And that worked ! Well, in a way ?

Caelus was feeling better now that Y/N was here, but he was what mortals called ‘clingy’.

The Aeon found that funny – Akivili was always clingy with them when he was tired. So that make them think of the past.

They was happy to compare Caelus to Akivili, making some theories about it, and not to some creep that prayed them..

Maybe The Aeon Of Creations have what mortals called a trauma caused by a few of their believers.

<----->

The Aeon Of Creation is traumatized of all this Sagau imposter AU/j I thought making the creator having a universe color blood and tears will be funny because, you know, they created it- The Creator thinking Caelus is Akivili is an idea that would hurt when it will be more developed.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr x gn reader #hsr x male reader #gn reader #male reader #hsr sahsr au #honkai star rail sahsr au #honkai star rail x gn reader #honkai star rail x male reader #akivili x aeon of creation #Raccoon is writing #sahsrau

288 notes · View notes

thesecretnight · 10 months

Text

In Your Arms (Dan Heng x GN! Reader)

It’s been a lot lately. The mental and emotional stress is showing in your every movement: your hesitant smiles, unfocused gaze, and sluggish body language. When you least expect it, especially in your happiest moments, it decides to hit you all at once.

You feel like the universe has something against you and you’re proven correct every single time. For some reason, all your problems decided to explode on you within a week. You were doing so well but everyone and everything seems to hate you.

All you wanted was for the world to stop for a moment to let you scream and cry, expressing your sadness, anger, and exhaustion. You thought you were doing well in hiding what you feel on the inside but nothing passes by Dan Heng.

When it comes to you, he is always observant. Stoic and kind, he shows his affection and concern in his own ways. Noticing your diminishing energy, he reminded you.

“I’ll be looking through the data bank. If you need me, just knock.”

The Astral Express Crew just decided which planet to go to next and he is off to get some information about the new environment. Anyone who knew him, they’d know that the second half of his words are for you. The crew can only do so much to keep you comfortable and happy. Dan Heng is the only one you could show your vulnerable side to.

A few hours later, Dan Heng hears a knock and he lets you in. Not saying a word, he slides the door close behind you. You can only give him a weak smile and that was the only answer he needed. With no hesitation, he gently holds your hand and leads you to his bed.

You both sat down with Dan Heng’s back against the wall and with you between his legs, body facing toward him. Then, he wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you close and his other hand gently held your head, pushing your face to his shoulder.

Shaking, you wrap your arms around his back and the dam broke.

You can almost hear Dan Heng let out a sigh of relief, finally seeing you let it all go for a moment. You try to muffle your cries but your trembling body and hiccups betrayed you. All these negative emotions built up so quickly and the pain you feel wasn’t surprising. It was suffocating. The ache continues to squeeze the air out of your lungs.

Your head pounds while you listen to your heartbeat. There’s a light ringing in your ears and you can feel the world circle around you. It never gets easier. No matter how many times, the pain remains the same or worsens.

You were no stranger to moments like this. But this time, you’re in someone’s warm embrace. The calm beating of his heart and his comforting scent covers you like a blanket. The slender fingers slowly running through your hair, and his protective arm on your back… it helps a lot.

You don’t know how much time has passed. Your heart slowly calms, the pounding in your head decreases, and your cries die down. You took deep breaths, in and out, getting yourself together.

“Better?”

“Yes but let me use your shoulder a bit longer. I look ugly.”

You can hear him roll his eyes at your dramatic words but he stayed silent, letting you take your time. Several minutes later, you finally remove your face from his damped shoulder and you were greeted with gentle eyes and a warm hand holding your cheek, touching you as if you’d shatter.

The both of you stared at each other for a while, his thumb brushing under your eyes to wipe away any excess tears and his occupied arm pulling you closer.

“Thank you.”

“It’s not something you should thank me for. It’s only natural.”

Meaning, he didn’t feel obligated to do all of this. He will always rush to your side every time you feel down. He will be your pillar as you are his. The two of you had come so far to get to this point, and he would be damned if he kept his eyes off you for even a second.

“Who knew our Dan Heng was a smooth talker?” You let out a laugh as he pokes your sides.

With another stare, you gently shook your head. It was a silent question if you want to talk about it and he replies by placing a soft kiss on your forehead. He doesn’t mind if you’ll tell him or not. Your comfort is his priority.

As long as he’s able to hold you in his arms, to hug you, to feel you, to support you, to love you with his entire being, then that’s all that matters.

As long as you’re breathing and smiling, as long as you always come home to him, he’d do anything for you.

Anything to give you the happiness and love you deserve.

#honkai star rail #dan heng #dan heng x reader #hurt/comfort #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x reader

210 notes · View notes

ohbloggerimagines · 11 months

Note

Hello! How are you? I hope your day is going swell :)

I love your possessive/protective!Rocket X Reader headcanons! The subconscious actions of him trying to keep her safe are so CUTE

Would I be able to request a oneshot of when the Guardians were out, Rocket noticed someone, or a group, staring at (Y/N), so he walked behind her, blocking their view of her ass.

Maybe he pat her hip/ass, something that was a normal thing between Rocket and (Y/N), so she just instinctively scratches behind his ears while Rocket glares or smirks at the stranger/s.

i feel like i could've done better with this one so i might end up redoing it ;;

also i refuse to belive gamora and peter are no longer together so just believe they are ! ill die on that hill

pairing: rocket raccoon x fem!reader

word count: 558

tags: gotg, rocket raccoon x reader, fem! reader, possesive rocket

“Rocky!” You shouted happily, pointing to one of the many shops within Contraxia, almost swooning over the handmade beanies being sold. “The hell you need one of those for? I can make you one! Besides, you get one every time we come here!” He grumbled, waving the shop off and making you groan and roll your eyes.

You and the Guardians needed a break, deciding to stop off at your favorite icy planets for a few drinks. It was pretty packed that day, Rocket making sure you stayed close to him and the group in general with all the idiots and pickpocketers around.

Passing the Iron Lotus, you watched Peter’s wandering eyes almost get slapped out of their sockets by Gamora, making you and Mantis snicker. You two were good friends, being able to have girl talk without being judged was nice. You stepped a little ahead Rocket, lightly bumping Mantis and striking up conversation about how cold it was, and all the little things you two definitely needed to buy.

“I saw this super cute jacket last time we were here, hopefully I can find it before we go. It would look so good on you!” You conversed with her, “You think? We must find it later!” Mantis beamed, excited to hang out with you.

Rocket’s head was on a swivel, watching every single person that walked by or even those who stood at the shops. He was not taking any chances with idiots this time.

There were so many..men everywhere. His nerves were on edge.

Finally, the crew made it to their favorite hole in the wall bar, the Whistling Outpost. Quant enough that nothing too crazy went on, but it was never a dull vibe inside. There was a line outside the door, a guard checking everyone's name on his tablet to make sure they weren’t letting in any stowaways or general freaks.

Peter and Gamora were in the front, behind them was Drax and Nebula, followed by you and Mantis still chattering away, with a very attached raccoon at your side.

He could feel the eyes not only on him but on you. Rocket’s eyes scanned around slowly to find the idiot who thought it was a good idea to stare at what was his. There was a group of them, dirty, drunk, and daring, staring and pointing while making quiet suggestive comments the keen raccoon could hear. Rocket decided not to make a big deal tonight, he just wanted to relax..

Instead, he slyly turned his body to face you, blocking their view of your ass and anything else they might want to stare at, creating a barrier but not making too much of an issue. He glanced over at the group, noticing a slight change in their stature. Rocket gently tapped your ass, his paw sliding to your belt loop and hooking his finger through it to hang on to you.

You felt his comforting touch and without missing a beat you glanced down at him and scratched lightly behind his ear, smiling at him before going back to talking Mantis’ ear off.

Rocket grinned, turning back to the drunken group, taunting them with his smirk. The look of defeat on their faces was enough for him to enjoy it.

No one got to look at you when he was around.

#rocket raccoon #gotg3 #rocket raccoon x reader #gotg2

375 notes · View notes

primalsouls · 20 days

Text

Nilotpala Lotus

tighnari x m! reader

moon, tell me if i could

send off my heart to you

theme: general, fluff

warning: a teeny tiny mention of nipple piercing, allergic reactions, 1.5k word count, little ooc Tighnari(?)

summary: Tighnari, Cyno, and Collei decided to go on a walk and patrol the Avidya Forest for a couple of hours, but before an hour can even be completed, they were met with a loud shierk.

notes: I've been thinking about tighnari a lot lately and wanted to write something that kept coming to mind, haha. im also writing pt. 3 of Inner Visions, but the motivation comes and goes every three to five business days. currently has over 350 words that fic lol. please, someone talk to me about Tighnari (╥﹏╥) i need more of him 😔 also meant to make this short under 1.5k words, but i guess i dont know my own limits. xD comments & reblogs are appreciated!

Tighnari, Collei, and Cyno were out on a walk when they came across a loud shriek. Tighnari flinched and covered his ears right away, wincing at the loudness. Cyno and Collei looked around before another yell was heard. The trio quickly picked up their pace and headed in the direction of the sound. As they got near, the fennec fox was able to pick up more than one voice. Panic filled in them. Cyno took the lead, his polearm already in hand. Tighnari followed behind, keeping a close watch on Collei next to him.

“—should we do!? Is he gonna die!?” The high-pitched voice sounded familiar to Tighnari. Shrill and panicked. So loud, it made the dendro user flattened his long ears against his head. When the trio reached the area where the voices were heard, Cyno held a hand up to stop on their tracks, his grip on his polearm tightened to be ready to use. He was the first one to walk closer with cautious steps.

“He's gonna pass out, compadre! He's burning up!” Now there was an unfamiliar voice. The electro user peeked over the large tree that stood between them and the owners of the previous voices. A small flash of shock crossed his features and turned to look back at his two friends.

“It's the traveler and Paimon with two unfamiliar faces.” Cyno reported. When he confirmed their identities, the trio walked around the tree and up to the small group. Tighnari looked at the sight.

As Cyno mentioned, Paimon floated beside Aether, her small hands covering her face as she floated back and forth with a scared look. Aether was crouched next to an unknown face. He wore a concerned expression on his face, trying to keep a calm demeanor as he kept a hand on the back of the first stranger. Beside them was a white haired, tall man with red markings and horns sticking out on the front of his head. He also wore a panicked look. Between Aether and the other fellow was a (hair color) male who looked fatigued and had reddened skin, almost looking like he had a fever. His eyes were casted down on the ground and his breathing sounded irregular.

“Aether, what's going on?” Cyno broke the tensed air around the group. Aether and Paimon looked over and relief washed over their faces. The traveler stood up after making sure the other man was sitting comfortably against a log before he walked over to Cyno with Paimon. “Is he alright?”

“No, he's not! (Name) suddenly felt sick!” Paimon exclaimed, a pout on her small face. Aether gave a small smile before telling the floating child not to exaggerate the situation. “We were just coming from Liyue and were taking a small break. Aether and (Name) stayed in this camp of ours to make snacks while Bull-chucker Itto and I went out and gathered some wood for the fire.” Paimon explained after calming down. Cyno glanced at the two Paimon was referring to, nodding his head for the story to continue. Tighnari stepped closer to the fatigued male Paimon called (Name), but kept his distance. He only studied to see what was wrong with him, a small frown on his face.

The man certainly had reddened skins around the nape of his neck and forearms. His face was flushed like he had a fever and his eyes looked exhausted. Their (color) eyes glanced up at him. Tighnari let out an apology as he stepped back again.

“(Name) was fine with me. Paimon and Itto here came back with wood and a couple of the Nilotpala Lotus.” Aether continued, pointing down at the small pile of wood beside the log his friend rested against. The two Nilotpala Lotus he mentioned were scattered away from (Name), as if someone dropped them without a care. Tighnari turned his attention to the two lotuses with a tilt of his head, his hand taking hold of his chin as he put himself in thought. “Then out of nowhere, (Name) said he felt terrible and almost faint on us. He started to get red on his arms and said he was having a hard time breathing.”

“Paimon thought he was gonna die!” Paimon said, floating next to (Name).

“C'mon, Flying Lavender Melon, (Name) is too strong to die!” Itto said, a frown on his face. Paimon nodded in agreement, a look of determination on her own face. Aether shook his head as he let out a sigh.

“He might have an allergic reaction to the Nilotpala Lotus.” Tighnari broke their conversation. Their eyes turned on him. Paimon and Itto glanced at each other in shock. “He has shortness of breath, an itching rash, and a fever.” The forest watcher leaned a bit over (Name) as his eyes squinted. “And hives. His eyes are also watery. Have you been sneezing?” He asked, crouching next to (Name). He nodded, his lips parted slightly as he took swallow breaths. “We have to take him back to the Gandharva Ville. I could prepare him a quick relief cream for the rash and hives.” Tighnari stood up, crossing his arms over his chest. “This must be your first time in Sumeru, if I'm guessing. You never came in contact with Nilotpala Lotus before, so he must not know he was allergic to it. Who gave you the lotuses?’ The watcher tilted his head before turning his attention to Paimon and Itto, both wearing a guilty look.

“Paimon swears we didn't know! We just found the lotuses pretty and decided to give it to (Name) because he said he had never seen a Nilotpala Lotus.” Paimon explained quickly as Itto nodded along.

“Yeah, if we knew that our amigo was allergic to the flower, we wouldn't have given it to him!” The oni added in, his hands held up in defense. Tighnari sighed as he shook his head.

“Just help bring him in. When we get to the ville, you can take him to my room. C'mon, let's go.” With the help of Cyno and Itto, (Name) stood up. His legs almost gave out but Itto held him close. Aether reassured the others he would catch up with Collei, who decided to help stay behind to clean around the camp with Paimon.

The trip back to the ville wasn't too long, luckily they weren't too far off. Cyno and Itto helped (Name) lay on Tighnari's bed. The forest watcher busied himself in his corner preparing the cream. Thankfully the cryo user wasn't deadly allergic to the lotus. When the cream was ready, Tighnari knocked before he walked in. (Name) laid on his side. “I've brought the cream. Should help relieve some of the itchiness and hives, reducing the rash as well. I've also prepared medicine to help lower down your fever and a gel to apply on your chest and back so you can breathe with no trouble.” Tighnari placed the small bowls and bottle on the nightstand next to his bed. He turned to the other man who carefully sat up with a pained groan. “Here, let me help you apply them, if it's fine with you of course.”

Once given the go to, the long eared fox removed his gloves. He helped the guy remove his shirt, taken a bit back when he was met with a tattooed back of two vicious tigers in red lining. Tighnari cleared his throat and picked up the cream, scooping a bit up with a few fingers. He gently rubs the cream on the reddened part of the skin, watching (Name) let out a satisfying sigh. He could tell the (hair color) man closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. Tighnari continued to apply the cream on the nape of his neck behind. With the cream applied, he cleaned his hand with a wet rug he had brought with himself and took the other bowl, this time the gel. Like the cream, he scooped the gel and massaged it on the back of (Name). The feverish man turned when asked to let the watchleader place the gel on his chest. Once again, he was taken back, this time by the sight of scars and pierced buds. Tighnari tried not to let his stunned look linger as he finished off with the gel, cleaning his hands once more.

Clearing his throat, Tighnari stood up from the bed and looked away from (Name), placing the bowls on the nightstand. “Um, you c-can go ahead and drink a spoonful of the last medicine.” The fox-hybrid was surprised with his stuttered words. What was going on? “After that, you should rest. I'll, uh, I'll bring you dinner when it's ready.” Without a second word spared, Tighnari left his own area. (Name) blinked, thinking nothing wrong about the forest watcher's behavior. Taking his advice, he laid back down on his side and took a nice deep breath for once, smiling a little as breathing became easier to do again. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. Now, it was time for the night to fall upon them all.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #x reader #x gender neutral reader #tighnari x male reader #tighnari x reader #genshin impact x male reader #tighnari #primal writes

33 notes · View notes

diamondnokouzai · 11 months

Text

Top Ten Ways to Recover From the Loss of a Loved One—Number Nine Will Shock You!

This is a sponsored article! All the advertisements you see provide us with our funding. We’ve marked them with “sponsored content” so that you can tell!

Our advertisements use targeted advertising, so we use your cookies to tailor our advertisements to your needs. If you’re not comfortable with that, disable your cookies here.

Losing a loved one is never easy. From realizing you’ll never hear them laugh again, to almost crying at the grocery store because you put their favorite food in the cart by reflex, to seeing their face on strangers in the street, to the funeral and the well-wishers—it’s never easy. Personally, I recently lost my baby brother. It was unexpected—I suppose it usually is, when someone you love dies—but I kept going. These are some of the tricks that I found that helped me.

I see you. I’m with you.

#1: Think About Them

It may seem counterintuitive, but thinking about the loved one who you lost can actually help the mourning process. Focus on them. Remember their smile, their laughter, and even their tears. Remember all the parts of them that were alive. Think about their energy. Focus on all the memories you had with them, to the point where you can’t think about anything else without connecting it back with your loved one. Sit in their bedroom and refamiliarize yourself with their smell, their possessions. Remember—if you start to think that you’re doing too much, then you never really loved them.

Sponsored Content

Personally, I sit in my younger brother’s room and think about the games we used to play together. I take out the old chessboard and play a game with him. I close my eyes and remember his voice, playing back all the phrases he used the most in my mind. I listen to whatever he has to say. It can be difficult, at first, to hear your loved one’s voice after you saw them die, but as you stick with it it becomes more and more natural until you don’t even have to try at all. You can do it.

#2: Be Gentle With Yourself.

Mourning takes as long as it takes. There is no way, nor any reason, to rush it, so don’t try–simply let yourself go along as time passes. See the sun rise, then set, then rise and set again and again, ad nauseam, all without the person you lost. Let the moon cross the sky without taking in anything around you. Let the loss wrap itself around you without anything changing. Don’t let anyone else try and force you to grieve any faster than you need to. Don’t let anyone else control your mourning. No one but you can decide how you mourn—if you’re more comfortable sleeping the day away than going to therapy, that’s no one’s business but your own! Remember, it’s your pain. Only you can make it go away.

Sponsored Content

And even when you hear their voice at night or in the television static begging for you to bring them back, remember: that’s just proof that it’s working!

#3: Get Into Nature

It’s important to recognize the healing power of nature. My younger brother used to love going on long hikes at night, and while I personally am connecting with his memory by going into the woods, even if you don’t have that kind of connection with nature, going outside and getting close with the plants can be healing. The sight of so much life all around you, the smell of plants and the feeling of leaves, the disgust that roils over you as soon as you remember that as alive as the plants are, none of the people you love will ever be so alive again. You will finally understand why they died, even if you don’t accept it.

Remember, go as far into the forest as you can. As long as you remember the first two steps, you won’t get lost—or, at least, not lost enough for it to stick. You just have to stick with it, further into the forest, until the sun sets. Until you can’t even see the trees in front of your face, and then go further. Just past those dead bushes, past the cordon, past the sign. Then you’ll be there. Then you won’t have to accept anything.

Remember. I see you. I’m with you.

#4: Read!

Just like getting into nature, getting into books is a great way to help escape from the pressure that comes with

Spo

nsored Content

mourning. If you aren’t sure where to start, you can always ask your local bookstore owner, or check for resources online! Personally, I would recommend The Worst Loss: How Families Heal From the Loss of a Child, The Turn of the Screw, and Pet Sematary. Of course, if you would rather read The Shining or The Body Keeps the Score, then that’s completely fine. What’s most important is that, whatever it is that you’re reading, you’re still thinking about your loved one. Remember, you can’t forget them. Do you think that they would want to

Sponsored Content

be forgotten? Of course not! You’ve heard them begging!

#4: Connect With Other People

Obviously, you aren’t the only one who remembers your loved one. They were too good for you to be the only one who remembers them. Other people knew them, too, and you can always speak to the other living about your mutual loss. Personally, I speak to my parents. When my baby brother was alive, my parents frequently scolded him, but it seems that they’ve begun to regret a great many things since we lost him. I ask them to tell me stories about him, and I let them cry. Sometimes, I even start crying too—but that’s healthy! It’s important to get all your emotions out.

Sponsored Content

But that doesn’t mean that you have to forgive them. They know what they did, after all. They know that they ignored your loved one while he was screaming, begging to live. What kind of parent could ignore their own child? What kind of parent would hurt their own child? They know what they did! If they regret it now, isn’t it too late? There’s no more forgiveness after death.

You wouldn’t want to forgive the person who killed someone you loved. They wouldn’t want you to forgive them.

#5: Keep Everything Clean.

It can be hard to remember the basics, when you’re grieving. Soap, bleach, baking soda—who cares about any of that once they’re dead? But you have to keep things clean, even if there’s no point in going on. If things get to be in too much disarray, the neighbors could notice and interfere, and no good ever came from an interloper.

Sponsored Content

Here’s a neat life hack: buy all the cleaning supplies in advance on one trip! That’s one less time you have to go out and talk to people. Get three or four jugs of bleach, six or seven boxes of baking soda, and about three gallons of soap. You might get some looks at the cash register, but that’s why they invented self-checkout!

#6: Make a List

Planning can be difficult when you have so much on your plate. The best thing to do for it is to make very basic lists so that you know what you have to do, and to break it down into smaller, more manageable parts. For things like doing the dishes, you can make the steps as simple as picking up a plate, putting it under the water, and turning on the faucet. For more difficult things, like living, you can make it even smaller—step one, wake up. Step two, open your eyes. Step three, inhale. Step four, exhale.

Sponsored Content

Or, you can always just give up! After all, if you really loved the person you lost, you would want to be with them, wouldn’t you? Or are you as selfish as they say?

Don’t worry. I believe in you, at least!

#7: Get Into Art!

Sponsored Content

Art can be a great way to get your emotions out. Obviously, there’s no such thing as bad art, but you should try to keep your art true to yourself and to your mission. Don’t ever forget about why you lived when they didn’t, you worthless piece of shit.

Sponsored Content

And while it can be tempting to break the rules of art, remember: you have to know the rules to break them! Henry Capaldi didn’t break onto the art scene by blowing up statues, but by building them. So remember—five points per pentacle, and while blood type doesn’t matter as much as it was once believed to, it does still have to be human!

#8: Figure Out What You’ll Give Up

Sponsored Content

Some people struggle with this step. Should the bedroom be packed up and stored, or should it stay in place? When can old homework assignments be recycled, if ever? Is it more important that you live, or that your loved one lives? Is there anyone else you can give up? Will it even work, if you aren’t sacrificing yourself?

Sponsored Content

There is no “right” answer to these questions. It all depends on what kind of person you are. Personally, I chose my parents—there is nothing a parent should want more than for their children to live, after all. They know what they did, and so do I.

And besides, Mom hasn’t been the same since the accident. She’d want this.

#9: Visit The Grave

Sponsored Content

Some people say that you should visit the grave in order to get closure, but that’s not why you’re here, is it? Bring your shovel. It’s so dark down there, you have to get them out. They still need a body, after all. Carry them carefully—depending on how long it’s been, they might be falling apart. That’s alright. Once they’re back, everything will be better again! Just like before! I wouldn’t lie to you,

Sponsored Content

would I?

This is where things get tricky. You can’t let anyone see you take them out of the graveyard—they wouldn’t understand. They would tell you to leave well enough alone. But they haven’t gone through what you have. Not like me. I know all about this kind of pain.

Sponsored Content

Remember. I see you. I’m with you.

#10: Get Into Nature

It’s important to recognize the healing power of nature. You have to do this at night, of course, preferably when the moon is full, but if you have a flashlight, it shouldn’t be a problem. Into the woods, now. Past the deadfall. Ignore the figures you see in the darkness—you’ve been so stressed lately, sometimes your mind plays tricks on you. Just keep going. You’ve got all the materials you need now, and even if you can feel some of the cold, slimy parts of your loved one dripping down your chest and into your boot until it squelches between your toes, that doesn’t matter anymore. You’re almost to the cemetery! Don’t give up!

You want him to come back, don’t you? You loved him. And now you can love him again! Just get into the cemetery and bury him again. This time it’ll be better than the first funeral. You’ll be able to embrace him this time, no one will stop you. You’ll be there for him! Isn’t that wonderful? Aren’t you happy?

Why not?

Ignore the corpses you see on the ground and the freshly disturbed dirt. Your mind is just playing tricks on you. Focus on your loved one. Kneel down and pray if you want, but it won’t help you now. Not since you already came so far.

Ignore the sounds you hear coming from behind you. There’s no one there.

Don’t worry. You’ll be with your loved one soon.

I’m sorry for tricking you. I just needed one more body.

Remember. I saw you. I was with you.

#11: Dead Isn’t Better

He’s back! Isn’t this wonderful? He’s just like how he was. It doesn’t matter how much of his skin or flesh is missing, or what he says. He’s just like he used to be. Everything’s just as good as it was. You don’t need your parents anymore. You don’t need anything! He’s back home with you. Isn’t that perfect? Aren’t you finally happy?

Sponsored Content

Why not?

#horror #horror writing #horror stories #short story #my writing #fiction #.din #.txt

212 notes · View notes

halfmoonshines · 8 months

Text

I'll Always Know You

summary; a series of events following bucky barnes and the reader

hurt/comfort, fluff

You had decided about fifteen minutes ago that this was probably your dumbest idea to date; now you were just miserable. The thunder boomed loudly overhead, the sky bucketing rain down on you like a small monsoon. You'd long abandoned the newspaper you'd fruitlessly held overhead to stay dry.

Why didn't you accept the ride from your work partner? You knew the storm was rolling in but you were so hellbent on being self sufficient.

You didn't hear the car roll to a stop on the empty street next to you, the rain putting a quiet blanket on everything but itself. But the voice that broke through definitely scared the shit out of you.

"Miss?"

You jumped, turning to the dark haired man standing opposite you. You probably would've thought his broad shoulders and defined muscles you could see beneath his quickly soaking wet shirt were attractive if you weren't immediately afraid of being murdered.

"Yes?" You replied with a subconscious step back.

His smile was tentative, hands half raising in a surrender. "I was driving by and noticed you fighting for your life against the wind. Could I offer you a ride?"

Every cell in your 21st century body said that you should turn around and start running. Never accept rides from strangers, even handsome ones. But it was truly storming now and you were still a twenty minute walk through the city home.

Sensing your hesitance, he tacked on. "You could either risk me being a murderer or almost definitely die to mother nature or pneumonia."

"Fair point." You followed him to his car.

Turns out, that would just be the first time you saw Bucky Barnes.

He showed up at your door three days after the rain incident, and you were almost freaked out if you hadn't been kicking yourself for not giving him your number.

"Sorry for just showing up, but I was wondering if you'd be interested in grabbing some coffee?" The arm positioned awkwardly scratching his head and the nervous smile on his face was enough to make your suspicions melt fully. Ted Bundy be damned.

"Let me grab my coat."

Turns out Bucky likes warm mochas, and also holding hands. You learned a lot about him over the next few weeks; his likes and dislikes. You fit together like the last pieces of a puzzle, you barely noticed the months passing and when you started leaving clothes at his apartment.

"You're kidding me, you've never seen Pitch Perfect? It's like quintessential 2010's cinema."

Bucky's laugh never failed to warm you inside. "I was a bit busy during that decade."

Your eyebrows scrunched, those little comments only confusing you. "The whole decade? What are you, 80?"

"Not quite."

---

"Would you still love me if I was a cat?"

"Yes." His reply was instant, warm arms wrapped around you while he leaned down for a kiss.

You dodged his lips, a playful smile on your own. "How would you know it's me?"

His hand found your cheek, pulling you in for a demanding kiss. The feeling of his mouth on yours always electrified you.

"I'll always know you."

---

The first time you felt he ever truly lied to you was a year in, which is a considerable span, as you tried to rationalize.

But there was no rationalizing the photo in your hand. A black and white snapped picture of your long term boyfriend, James Barnes, in a WW11 military uniform. Same boyish smile, same stance. The only difference was the haunted look that seemed to plague your Bucky.

There had to be an explanation, right? I mean vampires weren't real. This wasn't Twilight. A distant relative maybe?

A voice in the back of your head was insistent that this was him.

"Bucky?" You called him to the room before you could lose your nerve.

His smile was easy when he entered the room, but you couldn't help but notice the tenseness that filled him when he noticed the box you'd be rifling through.

"What's up, Doll?"

You lifted the picture along with an eyebrow, nervousness trickling into your stomach. "Who's this?"

He paused for only a second before it was like a switch flipped in him, and his smile eased back. "That's my grandpa. I don't really display his pictures for the sake of my sanity. We could be twins." He snatched the picture from you, depositing it back in the box.

"I'll say. You look the exact same." Your head was cocked to the side, a question still sitting on your lips.

"Strong genes."

---

He should've told her. No, he should've never gone back to her apartment. Never pulled his car over in that fucking downpour. All he ever brought with him was death and tragedy, and Bucky was terrified that she was about to make that list.

"We're five out." Sam's voice was carefully guarded, knowing his partner was on edge.

It was just a normal day a few hours ago when Bucky had come home to the door of their apartment hanging off it's hinges.

His panic was instant and only mounted when he searched the home and found nothing but signs of struggle and you missing. It was always a fear gnawing at the back of his mind. He had plenty of enemies, people he'd ruined the lives of. It was negligent to keep you in the dark, to even keep contact with you. But James Barnes was a selfish man.

When the jet landed and his boots hit the wet concrete, he wasn't Bucky. He was the soldier. And he would bring you home.

---

The sight of you, broken on the examination table was almost enough to take his knees out from under him. He put a steadying hand on the door frame to your room while Bruce gave him a diagnosis he had feared.

"It seems like they experimented on her. Traces of nodes connected to her neck and head. Until she wakes up I won't be able to tell the extent of damage, if there even is any. Worse case... she doesn't remember you."

Fuck. Bucky's breathing was shallow. If he could go back and rip every single man in that facility apart slowly, he would. Even then it wouldn't be enough to punish them.

Maybe you not remembering him was a blessing. Maybe you'd be safer.

The lights over you were like the blazing sun, and the only thing you could assume was that you had an insane hangover. Your brows pulled together, eyes squinting to recognize your surroundings. Vaguely clocking the IV attached to your arm, your vision started to clear and so did your thoughts.

Being at home, the bang of the door coming open, men swarming you.

And then nothing.

Your heart rate quickened, panicking now to inspect what was around you. You'd been taken, like some cliche movie. But by who? Why?

Just as your panic was mounting to a full blown freak out, your eyes found a familiar figure to your left. Head hanging off the back of the chair he was passed out in, your boyfriend was a more than welcome sight.

"James." Your voice was hoarse, scratchy, but he awoke instantly.

He was wordless, flying out of his chair and onto his knees beside you. Your handsome man was haggard, dark bags under his eyes and mussed hair. His warm hands roving your face distracted you from his gaunt appearance.

"Do you know who I am?"

His question confused you, as did the worry in his eyes. You brought your hand up to the one sitting on your cheek and gave him your best, exhausted smile. "I'll always know you."

a/n: have requests? submit here

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you

140 notes · View notes

anaslair · 3 months

Note

I’m a straight Bengali girl (daughter of Aphrodite), who’s a little chubby and has a lot of acne scars (both of which I’m insecure about, though, I’ve been staring to like my acne scars lately). I wear glasses and without them, the world around me is very blurry. I’m pretty shy and nervous, so I sort of have trouble speaking to strangers or people I don’t know well. But once I’m comfortable around you and we mutually see each other as friends, I’m able to show you my chaotic side and feel comfortable saying some pretty wild things. I also make quite a few sexual jokes. Though I am more comfortable to speak freely with my friends, if I’m in a relatively big group that consists of my friends, I get really nervous speaking in front of all of them, so I opt to talk to individuals rather than the collective. I crave for physical affection but I never ask for it because I’ll feel bad if I get rejected of such, so I’ll wait til someone decide to give me affection. I’m a huge romantic fan and love reading romance stories or fanfic, and I love men who are completely obsessed with you. If I’m going to be honest, I feel more attracted to depressed or sad men rather than happy or cheerful men. I love eating food, but don’t really like eating in front of people much cause I always feel like I’m being judge for the way I eat even if that’s not actually the case. I can’t help it, so I prefer to eat alone. My favourite food is chicken curry and rice! I have trouble keeping eye contact so I usually look somewhere else while talking to people, but I do occasionally (while in the conversation) do make eye contact. There are times where it takes time for my brain to process some situations or dialogue, and I have an awfully memory. I also hate reading out load cause my brain takes time to process the words on the paper for me to read out load, so it makes me say the words out load slowly and almost choppy, you know? I love my friends very much and always love to hang out with them, even if we are simply in a room together only doing our own thing. I just like being in their presence. Though, once my social battery runs out, I’d like to be alone in my room (though, I I have a romantic partner, I wouldn’t mind them being with me). I’m always open to be their for my friends if they are down and listen to their problems, but not good at verbally comforting them, so I’m open for providing them physical comfort such as a hug or rubbing their back if that’s what they want. If I don’t anything embarrassing, I will constantly think about the moment for years and best myself over it and mentally redo that whole conversation or action in a way better way that I should have done to have not embarrassed myself earlier, you know? I very kind and often give people the benefit of the doubt, and I’m sort of a pushover, but I’m still able to say no to situations that make me uncomfortable.

I love reading, drawing, and creating ocs and world building. I’m such a mythology nerd, especially when it comes to Greek mythology (I have many books about these myths). I absolutely hate bugs and because of them, I hate being in forests and such cause I always get swarmed by them. I’m also afraid of the dark, so when I sleep, I leave my door open and the hallway light on.

My matchups are usually long like this so that’s why they may take a little while to come out 🥸 pls bear with me guys 🫶

Hope you like it anon!! Have a great day and tysm for requesting!!! <3

I match you with…

Luke Castellan!!

(Let’s all collectively join hands and pretend he didn’t die 🫰)

After the second titan war was officially over, Luke went through a lot before finally being able to return to camp

He did literally stab himself to end Kronos’s reign of terror, so after a long fight discussion amongst the gods, it was decided he should be given a second chance at life. A brand new start

Not without cleaning his mess first though. He was assigned by the gods to send a load of monsters he recruited for Kronos back to Tartarus, while simultaneously healing from his fatal wound

Even under Apollo’s direct care, the injury left a huge, nasty scar on his body

Honestly, he preferred facing whatever punishment Hades had for him in the Underworld than helping any god. But he owed everyone (specially Annabeth and Thalia, his real family) an apology and to make things right

So he killed a shitload of monsters, (complained the whole time)

When he finally got back to camp, he almost couldn’t believe how much it had changed. The place was PACKED with new campers (and they were not all cramped in his cabin like usual 😱)

And there were twice as many cabins too??? for the smaller gods???

Was he at the right place?😀 Was he actually dead?🧍‍♂️

Took a lot of explaining for him to believe he wasn’t

The thought of demigods not having to go through what he went through was incredible, but hard to believe

A bit bittersweet for him too

On top of that, it took a lot of time and effort to regain everyone’s trust on him

Even with all the new space available in the Hermes cabin, he had to sleep on the ground for a long time before his siblings let him have a bed 💀

He had to prove himself for a long time before everyone started opening up to him again

Slowly but surely, it started to happen!! Annabeth and most of the campers got back to speaking terms with him, Thalia visited sometimes and Percy was still a little sus every time they interacted (specially when Annabeth was in the room🤷‍♀️) but it eventually got better

It wasn’t the same as before of course, which made him feel…lonely most of the time. It wasn’t perfect, but he was grateful for at least not being completely ignored

Travis and Connor even stole a new pillow for him after a while of him sleeping without any ��

Soon enough, life was almost normal again (as normal as a demigod’s life could get)

He did live with an imense sense of guilt and had recurring nightmares about what happened, accompanied with sharp pains on his chest, right where he stabbed himself

But it was a small price to pay for all the pain he caused, he thought

Eventually, he became head counselor of the Herme’s cabin again and Chiron gave him permission to teach sword lessons to the newest campers.

Life was as good as it could get for him, for sure

Though it definitely got a million times better with you in it

You were one of the new campers, practically Luke’s age when you arrived, which got yourself urgent self defense lessons with Mr. Castellan himself

He was the ideal person for the job, being the best swordsman on camp and all

Chiron also knew Luke had a way of making newcomers feel welcomed, being used to do it with practically every new kid in camp before the war

So, as Luke made his way to your first lesson, he tried to come up with a way to politely ask you how you survived all this time without proper training-

Only to give it up as soon as he laid his eyes on you

Of course you were a daughter of Aphrodite, you were drop dead gorgeous. Probably survived all this time outside camp by using the power her kids inherited, charmspeak

All of that was going through his head while he intensely stared at you without saying a word 🗿

Making you nervously eye him back 👁️👁️

Noticing you were getting anxious, he snapped out of it, the very tip of his ears getting slightly red

Quickly introducing himself as your new self defense teacher, he offered a hand for you to shake

To which you did after a bit of an awkward pause, nodding at his words. He seemed like a confident, nice guy

He took it you were a bit shy so he made sure to try and not to make you uncomfortable while teaching you some basic sword moves and techniques

You were doing your best to keep up but honestly felt like straight up dying everytime Luke asked you to repeat a move

The sword was heavy and the afternoon was hot, making you sweat profusely

That’s when everything went downhill :)

Your glasses just wouldn’t stay still in your face, the sweat making them slip down your nose every time you tried a new move

Right as you were about to swing your sword for the millionth time, your glasses fully fell off your face, making you flail the big weapon around uncontrollably

Coincidentally chopping a good amount of Chiron’s tail off, who was just passing by to check on your progress

Chiron promised he needed a new trim anyway, but that didn’t stop you from apologizing almost a thousand times and sitting down with your face buried in your hands

The situation amused Luke profusely, but he could also tell you were seriously beating yourself up about it

So after thinking for a while, he gently tapped you on the arm, showing you small scar he had on his forearm

He told you it was from his first ever sword lesson, but it wasn’t caused by a sword

When you gave him a confused look, he told you it was a consequence of accidentally poking a Pegasus’s bottom with a sharp weapon

You tried not to, but you laughed right at his face

Which made Luke smile as well, you had a cute laugh

After that, you slowly started opening up to your sword teacher, who actually got attached to you pretty quickly

Y’alls friendship was honestly precious oml, he absolutely LIVED for the fact that you were completely unhinged when y’all were alone, which got both of you a lot of inside jokes

When you first made a sexual joke in front of him he was completely shook

You were in the middle of training, making him accidentally cut a whole training doll in half after you said it

Who knew that something like that could come out of a shy person like yourself

He laughed and threw a dirty joke right back at you, but his ears were completely red in the process

The first time he had one of his pain streaks next to you he got really stressed out, not really wanting to talk about the origin of his injury

Partially because it was tremendously hard for him to talk about his past, but also because he was afraid you’d hate him for it

But you never pressured him to say anything, just sat beside him with a hand on his back for support, furrowed brows in concern as you waited for his pain to pass

He absolutely adored you for that

He didn’t feel alone anymore

He’s a naturally attentive person so he can always tell when you’re uncomfortable in social situations, always making sure that everything you’re saying is getting the correct amount of attention, even if he was the only one listening to it

Everyone knew he kind of had a soft spot for you (totally unrelated to the crush he was developing on you)

He always went easy on you at sparring lessons, just to absolutely humiliate whoever was next against him by winning in seconds

He sneaked food into your cabin when you absolutely could not stand eating with everyone else at the dining pavilion

(anyone else would probably get caught in the act and get absolutely wrecked by the harpies, but he was a son of the god of thieves so 😋)

Kept you close during capture the flag, not only to keep an eye on you but also because he absolutely LIVED for the fact that you were more scared of the bugs than the monsters who lived inside the woods

You dealt with the monsters and he jabbed all the bugs on the way, you made a pretty good team

It was pretty obvious he had a thing for you, everyone knew about it but you apparently

I mean, he stole got you a whole deck of mythomagic cards because he knew you were totally obsessed with mythology, the guy was pretty much down bad for you pls 😩

And honestly, you felt the exact same way

It was pretty clear in the way your face got full on red every time he had any type of physical contact with you

He adored it and absolutely did it on purpose just to get a reaction out of you

He wanted to let you know how he felt, he really did

But on top of not wanting to risk your friendship, he was deathly afraid you’d absolutely despise him after you found out about his past

It was only a matter of time anyway, but he was going to avoid it as much as he could

Although you found out way sooner and it went WAY better than he expected

It was a warm night and you were awfully quiet, more than usual

It wasn’t because your social battery went out. No… he knew something was up by the way you hugged yourself tightly, touching your face from time to time

He asked if you wanted to hang out by the beach for a bit, to which you silently agreed

Y’all sat in silence for a while, Luke giving you concerned side eyes from time to time

He eventually spoke up, saying you could talk to him about anything you wanted to, he’d listen

Your eyes watered a bit. You breathed out and eventually told him that some days, you had a bit of trouble accepting your current weight and your acne scars

You told him you were working on it but some days were harder than others

Honestly, he was bamboozled lol

He could never imagine someone as beautiful as you had those kind of insecurities

Before even thinking about it, he said you were absolutely perfect in his eyes

It was the first thing he thought when he met you actually

You almost choked on air bro WHAT

Your face was COMPLETELY red, about to explode🚨

Ears fully red after realizing how he slipped, he quickly continued, telling you that he also understood how you felt

He touched the scar he had on his face, lowering his hand to touch the one on his chest right after

You knew something bad had happened to him. But you also knew he had to tell you on his own terms

You just softly repeated what he told you

“You can talk to me about anything you want to, I’ll listen”

His eyes met yours and you were surprised by how much sadness they held in that moment

He shifted his gaze from you to the sand, taking handfulls of it just to let it fall from his fingers as he told you about his past

He told you everything

“You can… cut contact with me if you want to, I’ll understand-“

He was suddenly interrupted by you hugging him

He was surprised to say the least, arms slowly closing around you after some time as he let out a shaky breath

You both sat like that for a while before you told him that none of what he said changed the way you felt about him, everyone deserved a second chance

Wait

The way… you felt about him?

Oop

He pulled apart from you gently, still holding you close in front of him

“Exactly how do you feel about me?”

You had no choice but to confess, face fully red and straight up stuttering the whole time

He smile was HUGE oh my gods that little shit was enjoying every second of it

When you finished, you were trembling a bit, afraid you just ruined the best friendship you ever had

Imagine your surprise when he slowly leaned in, kissing you

#percy jackson x reader #percy jackson books #pjo hoo toa #percy jackson imagine #the heroes of olympus #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #chalice of the gods #percy series #matchups #fanfic #fanfiction

27 notes · View notes

rubysunnday · 2 years

Text

deathless death

requested by @magpiencrow: take me to church with benny boy <3this would absolutely kill me lottie

requested by anon: I love your writing!!! Can I request a benedict Bridgerton x reader where she has an accident of some sorts, like Kate falling off the horse??! I wonder how Benedict would act instead of Anthony. <33333

requested by anon: in desperate need more for your benedict bridgerton x reader fics please!

a/n: no, i'm not writing a part two

summary: no matter how beautiful a day is, horrible things can still happen and people can still die

"Mr Bridgerton."

"Miss Wallace, what a pleasant surprise."

"Oh, please, Mr Bridgerton, you knew exactly where I was going to be," Y/N said, smiling at him. "I ride this route almost every day."

"Do you? I had not noticed."

Y/N smiled and chuckled. Benedict slowed his horse down, riding alongside her.

Hyde Park had always been a pleasant spot to ride. Wide open fields, beautiful lakes - it was perfect. Of course, Benedict knew Y/N rode this route almost every day - he'd been watching her for weeks whilst he took his own walks.

It'd only been today that he'd decided to saddle up his horse and join her. Benedict had wanted to get to know Y/N better for a long while - having eyed her since she'd arrived at the start of the season. They'd begun to bond over painting and art in general - Benedict had felt a connection with her ever since they'd stood in front of a Beerstraaten and talked in detail about the castle pictured.

"Do you ride often, Mr Bridgerton?" Y/N asked, turning her head to face Benedict.

"Not as often as I used to," Benedict admitted. "Painting takes up most of my time, nowadays. Yourself?"

"I try to get out as much as I can. It helps me relax and frees my thoughts." She paused, not sure if she could say what she wanted to.

"This is a safe space, Miss Wallace," Benedict reassured her. "I will not tell anyone."

"The pressures of society and finding a match," Y/N said quietly, "can become very overwhelming. Everyone's eyes are on you, waiting to see who you will marry and whether your future will be successful."

"I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be," Benedict replied, his gaze soft.

Y/N shrugged gently. "It comes with being a lady. Now, you simply must tell me more about your paintings."

Benedict went riding with Y/N almost every day after that. Their conversation had opened a door between them and they grew closer. Y/N often searched Benedict out at balls, wanting to spend her night with a friend rather than a stranger.

But spending time outdoors with him was what she enjoyed most.

Sundays were the best day for riding. No one else was ever around - often sleeping off whatever party or ball had happened the night before. Y/N had started off her ride alone - she'd seen how much Benedict had drunk the night before and wasn't expecting him to be awake let alone dressed.

"Miss Wallace!"

Y/N stopped her horse and turned. She smiled widely as Benedict cantered up to her, slowing his horse down to a walk as he got closer.

"Mr Bridgerton! I was not expecting you!"

"Well, here I am!" Benedict said, returning her smile. "Unlike my brothers, I can hold my drink."

"Oh, of course," Y/N said, nodding. "I never doubted you."

Benedict chuckled. "Shall we?"

The two urged their horses on into a gentle walk. A comfortable silence fell over them as they rode through the park, the early morning call of the birds keeping them company.

The sun was just beginning to rise and it was clearly going to be another beautiful day.

"Lady Whistledown has been writing about us a lot recently," Y/N began, fiddling with her reins.

"I read. Eloise won't stop teasing me about it," Benedict muttered.

"I apologise if I am an inconvince to you, Mr Bridgerton."

"No, no, I did not mean -" Benedict cut himself off, mid ramble. He looked at Y/N, noticing her smile as she tried to stifle her laughter. "Oh, you are cruel."

"I am sorry," Y/N said, laughing. "I find it hilarious that your sister is teasing you. Besides, ever since she started writing about us, I have had more suitors."

Benedict accidentally jabbed the heel of his boot into the side of his horse, startling the poor creature. "Pardon?"

"Oh, Mr Dorset came round yesterday morning with some flowers, Mr Carter followed after him with a box of chocolates and a book - I danced four times last night! I have not danced as much since I debuted."

Benedict clenched his jaw, jealously growing inside him. "Oh, I see."

Y/N glanced at him. "Is that jealously I detect, Mr Bridgerton?"

"No, not at all, Miss Wallace." Y/N raised her eyebrows. "Perhaps a little bit."

"I see," Y/N giggled, "well, we all know what the resolution to that is."

Benedict raised his own eyebrows, watching her intently. Y/N moved ahead slightly, her horse neighing excitedly as they reached the open field, smelling the river that ran alongside it.

"For my sake, what is the resolution to my problem?" Benedict asked, stopping his horse.

"Oh, Mr Bridgerton, surely you do not need me to explain it to you?" Y/N asked, her tone teasing. She giggled again. "Well, perhaps if you beat me, I shall explain."

Y/N threw her head back as she laughed, urging her horse into a canter. Benedict smiled, chucking to himself as she rode off.

A deer burst out from the woods, racing across the field in front of Y/N and her horse.

Benedict could see it happen before it actually did.

Y/N's horse squealed and bolted, darting to the right, toward the river. Y/N tried to calm him, to slow him down. But then her horse tripped on a stone on the river bank and reared backwards, neighing loudly.

Y/N lost her grip on the horse, displaced by the sudden movement. She fell backwards from the horse, falling to the floor. Benedict could've sworn he heard her head hit the rock. The rest of her body made no effort to stop its impact with the floor.

Benedict was frozen for a moment. He stared at Y/N's body, willingfor her to get up and move.

"Y/N!" Benedict shouted, urging his horse on, desperate to reach her side.

He jumped off his horse before it'd properly stopped, running to Y/N's side and falling down next to her. His hands hovered over her for a moment, unsure if he should touch her or not.

Benedict moved his hand, putting it under Y/N's head, trying to lift it off the rock it'd collided with. He pulled it away, his heart dropping at how much blood was on his hands.

He wasn't stupid. He knew that this amount of blood was never a good thing.

"Stay with me, please," Benedict whispered, his shaking hands brushing back her hair. "Please, God."

Somehow, Benedict managed to get Y/N into his arms, being careful to support her head against his shoulder, and onto his horse. He rode as fast as he dared, back to the one place he knew was safe.

Benedict abandoned his horse at the gated to Bridgerton House, taking Y/N in his arms. He carried her up to the front door, ignoring the wide eyed looks the footman gave him as he walked up to them, blood staining his white shirt and his hands. He'd given Y/N his jacket and had used his cravat to try and staunch the bleeding and was in nothing but his waistcoat.

He walked into the house, the maids bustling around as they always did in the mornings.

"Someone fetch the doctor!" Benedict yelled as they all stopped and stared. "Quickly!"

Mrs Wilson was the first one to react. She ushered the maids into action, demanding they fetched blankets, towels and waked Anthony. She guided Benedict up the stairs, a gentle hand on his back.

"What happened?" She asked, ushering him down the corridor.

"She fell off her horse and hit her head on a rock," Benedict explained, his voice shaking. "There was so much blood, I tried to stop it."

"You did what you could," Mrs Wilson reassured, opening the guest bedroom door. "Rose, put this towel on the pillows. Mr Bridgerton, lay her down gently and help me take her jacket off."

Mrs Wilson had worked with the family long enough to know when they would do as they're told and when they wouldn't. Benedict was clearly besotted with the woman and wasn't going to be leaving her side.

"What happened?" Anthony asked, bursting into the room, looking at Y/N, lying on the bed. "Jesus - has the doctor been called for?"

"He has," Mrs Wilson said, taking Y/N's jacket and putting it on a nearby chair. "Along with the surgeon." She walked up to Anthony. "Lord Bridgerton, he's in shock. Someone should really take him down to the kitchen and give him some tea and wash the blood off his hands."

"I'll do it," Anthony said firmly. He glanced over at Benedict. "He looks like he might pass out. Let me know when the doctor arrives, Mrs Wilson."

Anthony walked over to Benedict and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Benedict flinched slightly, swaying to the side.

"Brother, come on. We must make room for the surgeon, I know you do not want to leave her but we must."

Benedict nodded, a distant expression on his face. He took one step forward and lost his balance, falling into Anthony's side.

"Benedict?" Anthony asked, holding him up. "Brother? Come on. Colin, stop loitering and come help."

Colin walked into the room, giving Y/N a passing glance. He took Benedict's other arm and helped Anthony practically carry him out the room.

Benedict didn't remember how he got from Y/N's deathbed to Anthony's office. One minute he was staring at her pale face and the next he was having a glass of whiskey forced into his hand.

Colin sat on the arm of the chair, pressed up against Benedict. Anthony was stood in front of him, watching Benedict with concern.

"She will be alright, brother," Anthony said softly, tapping his boot with his own.

Benedict stared down at the liquid in his glass. "If I could I'd give her my life." He looked up at his brother. "I'd switch places with her in a heartbeat.".

The room was dark despite the bright sunshine trying to shine through the curtains. Benedict was sat by Y/N's bedside, his sketchbook open on his lap. He'd drawn nothing in the week since her accident. Every time he picked up his pencil or charcoal, he put it down five minutes later.

Y/N had remained in Bridgerton House since the accident - the doctor's unwilling to let her be moved to her parent's house four miles down the road. Benedict had hardly left her side.

He could almost pretend she was simply asleep. The gentle rise and fall of her chest reassured him that she was still alive. He just wanted her to open her eyes and smile at him again. But they stayed closed, her hands resting on her stomach.

Benedict sighed quietly and closed his sketchbook, placing it on the edge of the bed. He stood up from his chair and walked up to the head of the bed, perching on the edge, next to Y/N.

"I would give you my life if I could," he whispered, stroking her hair softly, combing his fingers through it. "Dear God, I would do it over and over again if it meant you were awake right now."

Y/N didn't reply. Benedict had gotten used to simply speaking to himself.

The door to the room opened quietly, a beam of light shining into the room.

"How is she?" Violet asked, gently closing the door behind her.

Benedict sighed softly. "The swelling's gone down, which is a good thing. But we still won't know until she wakes up."

Violet nodded, walking further into the room. She stood next to Benedict, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It isn't your fault."

"I just wish I could... I could switch places," Benedict whispered, reaching up and gripping his mother's hand. He closed his eyes, feeling them burn. "Give her my life."

Violet squeezed his hand tightly, pressing a kiss to her son's head. "I know. I know."

Benedict looked down at Y/N again, silently willing her to wake up - to smile. She just lay there, deathly still, her eyes still closed.

"Just let me give you my life," he whispered, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Please."

#benedict bridgerton #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton imagines #bridgerton #the bridgertons #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton imagine

521 notes · View notes

mystistyx · 2 years

Text

let’s talk about hawks

mini headcannons of the good, the bad and the sexy

special thanks to the biggest hawks simp i know for helping me out @gardenofdreams ❥

the good

❥ the best medicine: with hawks’ natural ability to be flirty, witty and charming, you often find yourself in laughter when being blessed by his presence. whether it be a borderline dad joke or a highly intellectual one, hawks’ never fails to place a smile on your face. it’s an added bonus for you, always catching his bright smile and cheery eyes. both of you aren’t strangers to literal laughing pains and the unfortunate second hand embarrassment of onlookers when they have no idea why both you manage to sound like dying hyenas in the middle of public. even on your worst of days, it’s extremely difficult to stay mad or in sorrow when your favorite bird brings you utter goofiness.

❥ by land, air or sea: the commission has hawks on a tight rope when it comes to work as being comfortable with traveling and sometimes covering at different agencies are mandatory. with that though, hawk’s has become accustomed (and frankly spoiled) when it comes to traveling. on both of your off days, he’s quick to snatch you up and take you somewhere new. could be a new restaurant, a new city, old park to pick up some nostalgia, or even a light walk around the block. he’s always in motion and if you can, he adores it when you’re able to experience it with him. while you won’t always be allowed to take a picture for memories, you and hawks both enjoy little keep sakes. while you mostly have the shrine of memories in your own home quarters, hawks likes to have his scattered around, always finding the perfect memory whenever he looks within his home.

❥ pathetic but cute romantic: as much as a smooth talker hawks is, he really doesn’t know how to make the lovey dovey moves. he just simply struggles on every aspect that isn’t clear and cut. but however, that does not stop his determination on the matter. occasionally, you’ll both have to air out the kitchen from him leaving the chicken in the oven for too long and deciding to stick with takeout. more frequently, you’ll have to remind him that while you appreciate the flowers, him adding too much flower food to the water actually kills the flowers faster rather than keeps them alive for longer. and unfortunately, to enjoy a bubble bath with candles and wine, floating wine glasses only works when he doesn’t flap his wings within the water, making the floor a slip and slide. as mentioned, pathetic.. but the effort on his part will never die just like his love for you.

the bad

❥ workaholic: a driven and hard working man is attractive and will never not be. but there comes a point to where it can be an obsession, unhealthy, and dangerously addicting. it stresses and scares you, let alone hawks himself. he knows he has an issue but with the commission ingraining the work load into every fiber of his being, no one, not even himself, can stop hawks. one of the worst days of both of your lives was you waiting up until 4am in your bed, terrified of the news. a massive bombing in the inner city, taking out multiple buildings and destroying countless streets. your heart exploded with every update the news and social media gave. it almost seemed hopeless. but with hawks finally walking through the door, covered in ashe, tattered clothes and that almost war zone look, and saying he just had to stay and help.. it made you question whether he even cared about his safety at all. hawks may be a hero, but unfortunately will never be able to save himself from disarray.

❥ self care: due to hawks’ workaholic ways, basic self care and hygiene can slip his mind easily. unlike him knowing he has a work problem, still to this imaginary day, knowing when his funk is lingering doesn’t process in his brain. you really try your best to tell him lightly. suggesting a shower together, offering some gum in the middle of the day, asking which fragrance of yours he enjoys the most by subtly spraying more than one. this issue really does hurt the both of you. you know deep down that everyone can struggle with this issue, and seeing your love go through it constantly can put a damper in your mood.

❥ family struggles: whether you want children or not, hawks mindset on the topic is troubling. for the readers that have a functional uterus, this might hurt you the most. if you ever find yourself pregnant, you know you have to let hawks know. he’s overall a reasonable man and having the knowledge would make him happy. it just becomes concerning to you that when you do tell him, he simply has no words. he’s stuck on what to say and how to act. but eventually he does something. and what is that exact thing? he takes time to himself and flies into the city to clear his head. that absolutely breaks your heart into a plethora of pieces knowing that could have ended your relationship. hawks does come back to his senses and returns to you to talk it out, but would you still be in love with him when his first instinct is to run?

the sexy

❥ foreplay: foreplay is a majorly overlooked thing in the realm of sex. but honestly? it can be just as good as an orgasm and when it’s good, you may even have an orgasm before the real fun begins. hawks’ favorite type of foreplay is long makeout sessions and mutual masturbation. both of you on your knees on the bed, lightly fighting to stay risen up while attacking each others lips with your hands edging and toying with each other’s sex? it’s truly an ode to the younger teenage years, just desperate for feeling each other in the closest way without going all the way.

❥ sensory play: feathers are everyone’s first idea when it comes to hawks, it’s only natural when he holds hundreds of them on his luscious body. but other options are more favorites of his, especially blindfolds. if the blindfold is on you, he gets thrilled over huffing hot air around your limbs and neck. seeing your squirm and not know where it’s coming from next. if hawks has the blindfold on, he loves the feeling of hot wax. hawks has always had the idea of temperature play, but anything too hot or cold would ruffle his feathers in the worst way. wax gives him a good middle ground to explore and be free.

❥ the spring rut: in fanon lore, ‘spring hawks’ or ‘rutting season hawks’ is when hawks has the unnerving urge to heavily breed once spring begins, since he is part bird. if you don’t think about the actual science of birds and how off putting it can be, there is a some truth to how accurate it could be. being in a full rut would disturb his work flow entirely but the idea of him being more sensual during the season changes would be apparent. you would get all the blush worthy texts during work, never a moment alone with your home, and evenings out to dinner would have to take place more in the bathroom or car.

❥ begging: one of hawks’ guilty pleasures is hearing you beg. he won’t admit it but it fuels his hero hunger ego. knowing that you need him desperately in anyway possible? the man could cum alone just hearing your whimpers for him to touch you, your pleads for him to make love or fuck, any words really. hawks will never not love whatever you have to say… or moan senselessly.

masterlist // hawks’ feather pile

586 notes · View notes

captain-mommy-issues · 3 months

Text

//this is written in first person just because I'm most comfortable with it. This is ooc!!

Why had they acted so strangely while we visited here last? Why had they been so insistent that their Pokémon stay inside its ball? Why here? Why only here? Their face. It seemed strange. The way they looked at me seemed strange… What was wrong? I wish they told me.

There was talk of a phenomenon here. A strange one. Something to do with the breakthrough of space and time. I assumed something like the time machine back in Paldea? However, nothing seemed off about this place. The Pokémon were all normal, for Unova’s standards. Nothing was off. Not a single thing.

Well, except for the vibe.

The look of sorrow I saw on their face. It was still engraved in my mind. They smiled at me, but I knew it wasn’t genuine. I knew it wasn’t. It couldn’t have been They felt guilty. Why did they? I don’t know. I wish I knew. I wish they could have just told me.

This time I went alone. I brought their Pokémon with me. Maybe that was wrong of me, but I swear it was only for a short while. I was giving it back, of course. Who was I to rob my best friend?

I walked along the edge of the Crystal Pool and examined the Tera stones shimmering in the moonlight. I approached the water, that strange Pokémon walking beside me, and watched in awe as a purple mist started to fill the air. It seemed to sparkle as well, much like everything else in this area. It had a theme, I suppose…

The fog only grew, eventually encapsulating the lake in a thick, lavender cloud. I clutched the strap of my backpack, preparing to throw it off and grab hold of one of my Pokéballs if need be. I let out an anxious sigh, full of regret, questioning myself on why I chose to venture back to this place. Why did I do this? What purpose did I have here? I felt my hands begin to shake. I felt as though I might even die here…

It was then I saw a figure. A shadow of someone seemed to appear right in the corner of my eye. Dear Arceus. This is the end, isn’t it? I gritted my teeth and hesitantly turned my head to face whoever, or whatever, had materialized in front of me.

Their face was surrounded by smoke. I couldn't make out anything about them. I took a step closer with hopes to uncover the identity of what I presumed to be a stranger. I examined the blur, beginning to recognize their features. I concluded that they were dressed in white, and purple. I took yet another step, this time with more confidence.

Perhaps I shouldn't have.

My eyes grew wide as the mist blew past their face, unveiling it. I saw two brown eyes staring back at me. They were fixed on top of a pale face with an ashy-brown beard. A face I knew far too well.

My…dad.

He only looked at me. No words were exchanged at all. I can only assume he didn't recognize me... I don't know if that made things better or worse…

Almost immediately, I felt the tears rush down my face, quickly having turned it deeply red and swollen. Through teary eyes I watched as my father approached me.

“Are you al-” He began to speak. I heard the hint of concern in his voice, but his words only hurt me. His voice. I couldn't bear to hear it. My head began rapidly spinning. My thoughts were racing. They were conflicting. They were painful. My father. Here. Is this good? Is this bad? Do I want to hug him, or tell him off? I couldn't decide. I couldn't. I can’t.

Before he could finish his sentence, I grabbed hold of my friend’s Pokémon and ran through the cloud. I ran as fast as I could, as far as I could.

I didn’t look back.

I couldn't bring myself to.

And I don’t know if I regret it.

...

#//HI IT'S 1AM AND I RANDOMLY GOT A SURGE OF MOTIVATION #//i would write more but again it is 1am. almost 2am.#//just wanted to write a lil!#ooc post #arven posts #pokemon #pokemon irl #irl pkmn #pokeblogging #pokeblr #rotomblr #pokemon dlc spoilers

20 notes · View notes

justalittlebluetiefling · 1 year

Text

Who asked me for almost 18.5k words on Steve and Nancy from Stranger things? No one? Just me? That’s fine. This was how I wanted to spend my time the last two weeks anyway.

I’m not great at introductions. I’ll just start this off with a bold thesis statement: Nancy and Steve have been intended as an endgame couple since season two. “Erin,” you might be saying, “season two is a stretch. They broke up so she could be with someone else,” while you not-so-secretly think that I’m losing it. To which I would point out that, yes, Jonathan and Nancy were one hundred percent intended to be the endgame couple at first. However, things shifted when they decided to keep Steve alive and give him his own character arc and development. They were turning Steve into someone that could be a good partner for Nancy and it doesn’t make a lot of narrative sense for them not to come back to each other in the end.

I’m getting away from myself. My point is that doing an immediate rewatch of the entire series after season four came out, I could see the shift that I hadn’t noticed before, so I want to talk about it by dissecting almost all of their interactions in every season with so many screenshots, because that’s just the kind of person I am.

Disclaimer: I just like picking apart narratives for fun. If you disagree/don’t ship it/hate me for writing this, that’s fun for you, but if you don’t have something constructive to add, let it die. There will be some talk about Jonathan and Nancy’s relationship in here as well, because it’s important to the narrative, but all the talk will be serving the thesis statement above. (I’ll also probably repeat points a few times because this is long and I lose track of things like that. And this is BARELY proofread by me, so I’m sorry.)

Season One

1x1

We get a few things from this episode.

Nancy is into Steve, but trying not to get her hopes up.

Our first glimpse into the Wheeler marriage. They are very obviously nowhere close to being on the same page.

It really is fun to go back and see Nancy with a crush. Just a girl with a crush on the popular boy and she’s really really trying to be cool about it. I mean, saying, “He likes me, but not like that,” while she can’t not smile the entire time?

We know Nancy is trying not to get her hopes up, so it’s nice that she has a friend here who knows her worth.

And this also begs the question… how much has Barb been present for their interactions? Not at all at this point, right? That’s not an answer we’re going to get, but she seems pretty insistent that Nancy is downplaying things.

Which, okay, we shift over into the bathroom where Steve and Nancy are making out and he’s doing dumb things like smiling into the kiss and trying to make plans to hang out more. Make out more, under the guise of studying.

The big thing about Steve here is that we don’t know much about him and his motives at this point. It would be really easy to write him off as what he was intended to be in the original script. But you can see it here. The way he doesn’t know what to do with someone like Nancy. How she might be different from other girls he’s pursued and he’s a confident guy, but he can tell he’s in a little over his head.

There’s also a greater conversation to be had about Steve and how much he needs physical touch as comfort, but I’m not ready to dive into that yet (maybe not in this essay at all), so I’m going to put this here. Physical touch: 1

Again, like I said above, it would be easy to write him off, right? He helps her study and he does try to push things a little further than she wants. But he listens when she tells him to stop and they go back to studying. This is something that I’m going to bring up again, but here’s why this is important. What we’re seeing here is that Nancy is the one who is setting the pace of this relationship. Whether or not it’s a pace he’s happy with, he’s sticking around, because she is what he wants. And this matters to Nancy. She sees him respecting the boundaries she’s setting.

It’s a little hint for us, the viewers, too. Something important about his personality to file away for later. This way he pushes followed by the rapid (if reluctant, in this case) pivot. And it’s important that we see Nancy clocking this. Taking in the way that he is different from the persona he uses on a daily basis. Now, in the future, we know that he’s a sad, vulnerable guy who is putting on a show, but no one at school knows that. Still, it’s something he can be for a moment around Nancy, because what’s that thing they said about Steve and Nancy? How she listens to him in a way no one else has at this point and it makes him feel more comfortable revealing this other side of himself?

I don’t know. I’ll talk about this more later, because Steve really is a rollercoaster this season.

1x2

So, their next scene is kind of interesting. Barb is quizzing Nancy in the hall and Steve steals the flashcards and both Steve and Nancy don’t notice Tommy messing with Barb’s ear really quick? But there’s something about how Nancy is Steve’s primary focus. Barb is more of an accessory to her than an individual at this point in Steve’s mind.

But, and I’m just going to dive into season 3 knowledge really quick, we know that the school’s perception of Nancy (per Robin) is that she’s “such a priss.” She and Barb aren’t cool by any means. And Tommy’s being a dick to be a dick. In contrast with Steve here, who is kind of being a dick to get attention. Anyway, it’s a whole thing with him tolerating Barb because he likes Nancy, and then there’s the other layer where Tommy and Carol are tolerating Nancy, because they like Steve. But that tolerance doesn’t extend to Barb. Hell, it barely extends to Nancy. This is the first time we see them, right? And it’s a horrible introduction. They listen to Steve, but they don’t really care how much he likes this girl. They laugh at her and she knows they’re laughing at her and I mean, honestly, this is kind of another thing about him, right? His friends don’t like her. She’s not one of the popular girls. But he doesn’t flinch about pursuing her. It’s a whole thing I don’t know how to get into, especially when he later tells Robin that Tommy H would have laughed at him for going after a girl like her in school and he hated veering away from what was expected of him. When it seems like, at least here, his pursuing Nancy isn’t exactly “cool” either.

Okay, back on track. We also get one of our only pieces of insight into his family life. His dad is out of town and his mom went with him, because she doesn’t trust him. It’s this line he’s made into a throwaway comment, because the real focus here is he wants Nancy to come over to his unsupervised house, right? I mostly want to point this out, because I’m going to say something about my thesis statement. At this point, this is actually still Nancy and Jonathan’s story and this moment here is showing Steve seeing Nancy’s distress and trying to push immediately through to the fix. This is simplifying what he does a bit, but it’s behavior we’re seeing now for a reason (and behavior we’ll see again next season).

Nancy’s saved from answering when Jonathan shows up, putting up posters and Tommy and Carol start making fun of him from a distance. We do at least see Steve telling Tommy to shut up when he jokes about Jonathan killing his brother. It’s hard to tell if that’s for Nancy’s benefit or not. He’s clearly annoyed when she goes to talk to Jonathan. (And this, right on the tail of him revealing that his dad very obviously has been unfaithful to his mom.) I’m inclined to think it wasn’t for Nancy’s benefit, but I’m feeling generous as I’m writing this.

And we’re hopping in the timeline a bit, but let’s finish talking about Steve here for a sec. Based on the way Steve opens the door, I would assume that he knows Barb is coming, but he doesn’t look bothered in the slightest. In fact, he is just so happy that Nancy’s here that nothing else matters. I mean, look at these faces. Look how excited they are to spend time together in a house without adult supervision.

Which is a perfect segue back into Nancy herself. It’s still just fun seeing her act like a stereotypical teenager with stereotypical teenager worries for a minute. And in stereotypical teenager fashion, she is nervous to go to this “party” without a safety net, no matter how excited she is to hang out with Steve. And she’s so excited! Both Nancy and Barb both know what’s going to happen. Or what Nancy wants to happen.

Nancy is trying to pretend it’s not about that for her, but she’s already made up her mind. Barb knows her friend well enough to know what’s going on. She doesn’t feel like she belongs here, but she’s here because she’s a good friend.

This is about Steve and Nancy though, so I don’t need to dig too much into Barb here. I also can’t even say that we’ve all been in this situation, but it feels like it’s relatable. Like a lot of people have possibly been either the Nancy or the Barb (or both) at some point in their lives. That intoxicating feeling of being into someone new, someone who you really like. Or sitting off to the side, being the chaperone your friend requested, with no actual desire to be there.

Honestly, Nancy is trying to remember herself here. She tries to include Barb and it backfires. And Steve tries, because Nancy tries, and he wants Nancy to stay. But he’s also done this thing where he’s dialed down the excitement. His cool guy façade is back. He’s showing off and they’re teasing each other. We get to have our first glimpse of fearless Nancy and she looks so pleased with herself.

There is a task and she is going to prove she can do it.

The thing is, circling back to the chaperone who doesn’t want to be there is that… well, Barb doesn’t want to be there. She’s annoyed at Nancy. Annoyed at the whole situation, really. Steve directs her to the bathroom when she hurts herself. We see a shot (through Jonathan’s camera) of Nancy staring back at the house. We see another shot of Steve, closer to the house, staring in the direction Barb went. Possibly a little out of actual concern. More likely, though, he’s worried that if Barb needs to leave, Nancy will go, too.

But then there’s Tommy and Carol, who distract them from what’s serious. They shift the mood.

And it’s time to bump up this count here. Physical Touch: 2

Really, I could count the stuff in the pool, but that was different.

This is Steve, reaching out to rub Nancy’s shoulder and ask if she’s all right. They’re smiling at each other and just adorable as heck in general and enamored with each other.

I said I wasn’t going to dig too much into the Barb stuff, but I have to. I’ll dig more into the results later, but for now, here’s where we’re at. Nancy wants to stay.

And this is a version of Nancy that Barb doesn’t recognize. I don’t know. There are a lot of layers to this. I know we’re meant to see this as Nancy acting in a way that’s out of her character here, because her best friend is telling her that this isn’t her. BUT. The things we know about Nancy now don’t line up with that interpretation.

This all brings me back to my point in the very brief introduction. How Jonathan and Nancy are meant to be the endgame couple right now. There is actually a parallel to this moment later this season that will point that out in more detail. Really, it can be explained away by growth in general. People grow and change and this may be out of Nancy’s character now but enough of her is recognizable here that I’m starting to talk in circles.

Let me get back on track. Nancy knows what she wants to do. She’s made up her mind. She tries to send Barb home, but Barb decides not to go, because she doesn’t want to abandon Nancy.

Physical touch: 3

I’m still not entirely sure where I’m going with the physical touch thing here, except it’s something Steve seems to do when he’s both offering and seeking comfort with Nancy. It may be as simple as that. And if that’s what we attribute it to, then I do think they’re both nervous here. Nancy is obviously more nervous. She’s gotten herself up here and it’s a big choice she’s making. But there’s also the Steve of it all, who has finally gotten Nancy Wheeler in his fucking bedroom and based on the way he looks at her, I’m not sure he was convinced he ever would.

And this is where I’ll come back to the other part of that point from my intro. They changed Steve. They made this a monumental moment for him, too, which is ultimately what throws a wrench into their plans for Jonathan. I mean, when she was supposed to be a notch in his belt, it would have worked. But instead, he’s soft with her. He’s worried about her feeling comfortable here, so he turns away when she asks. He turns back when she asks. He lets her set the pace and it means something when she wants to move forward.

1x3

Continuing right from the last moment, because the episode does, he checks in with her and she pushes things forward. The message here is hard to miss: Nancy abandoning her friend for Steve. They’re overlaying Barb’s death with Nancy and Steve having sex for the first time. The fucking shot of Steve gripping Nancy’s hand right next to the shot of Barb clinging to the pool ladder? Absolutely tragic.

They start forcing a disconnect between Steve and Nancy this episode. I don’t mean that in a way that it felt forced. I mean that they pile it on to make it feel worse. This was Nancy’s first time having sex and she’s justifiably feeling insecure afterward. Not only does Steve not wake up, but Barb is gone and Nancy has to walk home alone in the dark. (Season 4 Steve would never.) To top it all off, we know that Steve’s past hookups haven’t exactly been secret, so when she walks into school the next day, of course she’s going to be worried. But here’s where they put another wrench in their original plans. Steve cares that she knows that it mattered to him. He doesn’t ignore her. He comes up to say hi to her and then he picks up on her discomfort and immediately reassures her when she expresses her concerns to him. I had to make a gif for this moment, because like, come one. This isn’t the face of someone who doesn’t give a shit.

That is a relieved sigh that morphs into a fond look, because she believes him when he says he didn’t tell anyone.

For a minute, everything is okay. They’re both happy.

He kisses her in public and looks at her like this in public and it’s really just the sweetest. Nancy feels better. She’s happy. She doesn’t feel like a number.

Forgive me. I need a moment to mourn how cute and happy they are with their regular lives for a second. Not that everything would have been perfect for them if the Upside Down stuff didn’t happen and obviously they wouldn’t exist without the drama that happens the next four seasons, but damn. They’re cute and smitten and it’s all about to blow up.

Okay, I’m ready to move on.

During lunch, Nancy still hasn’t been able to find Barb and she goes to sit with Steve, Tommy, and Carol. There’s something really cute about how Steve leans into her almost as soon as she sits down next to him. And how Nancy leans into him. I’m actually really tempted to add this to the physical touch count, but it doesn’t quite meet the parameters I haven’t decided on yet.

Honestly, the other hilarious thing is that (and I know this is blocking for the cameras) Tommy and Carol, an established couple, aren’t sitting this close together when we see them through Steve and Nancy’s shoulders. And Steve and Nancy’s shoulders aren’t touching when we see the shots of Tommy and Carol, but as soon as it goes back to focus on Steve and Nancy, they’re leaning into each other again. It’s something weird that I can never unsee every time I see this scene.

Back to the whole thing. We have Steve here who is defending Nancy and telling Tommy to stop being an ass while also allowing his ego to be boosted when they’re making fun of her. Oh, but I will say this. Physical touch: 4. He goes for the reassuring thigh squeeze here, even if we can’t see it under the table. Trying to make sure she doesn’t worry about Barb. But Steve doesn’t know her the way Nancy does and Nancy knows something is wrong. You can actually see the disconnect here in real time, because they spent the entire scene glued at the shoulder

and as soon as he starts smirking over Carol and Tommy’s behavior

Nancy pulls back. Steve leans forward to eat while Nancy stays leaning back in her chair. It gives her a moment to have a long stare with Jonathan out in the hallway, of course.

Now, I’m not going to defend Steve’s behavior with Jonathan. Not exactly. It was a pretty bad reaction to have. But. Okay, fine, I guess I’m going to defend it a little bit. I do think we’re getting a glimpse of Steve as he was originally intended here. This is very much ‘bully’ behavior. However, we have some more context, which is that Steve knows Nancy is nervous people are going to judge her and Jonathan has a picture of her taking her shirt off. Not only did he take the picture, he’s fucking developing it on school property. I know the pictures are an important plot device, but dude. That’s a little fucked up.

Anyway, here’s this guy who took pictures of the girl Steve likes without her consent. The way he handled it? Yeah. Rough. Admittedly a little excessive. But the motives? I think those were ultimately good. ALSO. Okay, listen. Not that I think Steve needs defending, but he doesn’t even look like he feels good about it. The others (minus Nancy, of course) clearly enjoyed it. Steve just goes kind of blank. If this were Steve meta, I’d point out that he does this a couple other times this season – goes blank when he’s going into King Steve mode. All I’m really saying is, we know now that King Steve was an act, but there were signs and this is one of them.

We’re also at Physical Touch: 5 here. Nancy jogs down to his side and he slides his hand across her shoulders to walk back into the school with her. Again, using physical touch as an attempt at comfort. But this has still furthered their disconnect.

Nancy is worried about Barb and she doesn’t know what to do, but she does know that she can’t sit here and pretend things are normal. Steve either knows she’s distressed or needs comfort himself, because we have Physical Touch: 6.

It’s just this casual little touch and she leaves right after. Steve knows she’s lying. She’s not doing a great job at hiding it. But Tommy actually hits the nail on the head, unfortunately. “Maybe she freaked out when you went all psycho on the psycho.” And Steve says, “Oh, give me a break,” but he knows something is off and he knows part of it is something he did.

1x4 & 1x5

It’s interesting that Nancy gives Steve a chance here. She goes to him and tells him what she saw at his house, but they’re not communicating properly. He isn’t listening to her and she isn’t hearing anything like what she needs to from him. Nancy know something bad happened to Barb, but he can’t see past what his dad’s reaction is going to be to finding out about the party. Nancy leaves disappointed and finds a willing partner in Jonathan.

But it also does need to be pointed out that Jonathan isn’t doing this for Nancy. He’s doing it to find Will, which is still admirable. It’s what Nancy needs right now, anyway. Someone who is going to listen to her when everyone else is dismissing her. The point is, he has his own motives. They just happen to line up with hers for now. (And doesn’t that just describe their entire situation???)

So, yes. Jonathan is filling a void that Steve leaves open. But good news for Steve fans. When he fucks up, he knows he fucks up. He shows up to apologize and he says so many of the right things. He admits that he was a dick. He asks about Barb. But then he says the wrong thing. “Just kinda pretend everything’s normal for a few hours.”

Here’s a moment I’m going to take a wild leap into speculation. We don’t know what Steve’s home life is like, but the few things we’ve heard imply that it isn’t great. We know he’s a hopeless romantic. It seems very likely that he would have an idealized version of “normal” in his head, which I get the feeling is something he’s chasing. Someone who loves him, who he loves, who he can be vulnerable with, who will depend on him. Probably something a little bit like a romantic comedy where they walk off into the sunset together in the end.

It really can’t be an accident that we hear Steve talk about pretending things are normal shortly before we hear Nancy give her opinion on it.

Nancy: I don’t think my parents ever loved each other. Jonathan: They must’ve married for some reason. Nancy: My mom was young. My dad was older, but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So, they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family. Jonathan: Screw that. Nancy: Yeah. Screw that.

And it isn’t so much her opinion on love and normalcy so much as her being kind of jaded by her parents’ relationship. It’s her talking about a normal life. What people expect to happen. And she’s seen normal. For her, normal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s a loveless marriage and losing yourself and she doesn’t want that.

I mean, if you really look at them, you can see that Nancy and Steve actually have a similar view of what normal is. Just different perspectives. Because it could be argued that Steve is in a similar situation. His parents could have a very similar story, but he still chases a very idealized version of “normal”. What his parents have, that’s not normal to him. It’s lacking.

But also, there’s this whole thing about Jonathan basically mirroring what Barb said to Nancy before she went upstairs with Steve. I saw this girl, you know, trying to be someone else. Which should probably hit harder, considering Barb’s “this isn’t you” from that night. Okay, but can I also dive into the other totally wild thing about this? The pictures Jonathan took of her were in Steve’s window. Where she and Steve were alone. It was like you were alone, or thought you were. And you know, you could just be yourself. I know they didn’t mean to imply that Nancy would be safe being vulnerable with Steve. That she would be safe letting him see the sides of her that she’s afraid to show other people. YOU KNOW. Kind of like the way that’s who she is for Steve?!

Anyway, back to the Jonathan thing. He gives her that excuse, which I do think hits for her, but she also calls him out for the picture thing. And then Jonathan gets offended and defensive, so they start arguing. He doesn’t hesitate to use the ammunition he has. Nancy Wheeler, she’s not just another suburban girl who thinks she’s rebelling by doing exactly what every other suburban girl does until that phase passes and they marry some boring one-time jock who now works sales, and they live out a perfectly boring little life at the end of a cul-de-sac. Exactly like their parents, who they thought were so depressing, but now, hey, they get it. The meaning behind this is not even a little subtle. “You’re doing the same thing as your mother,” is what he's saying. “You’re going to lose yourself in Steve the way she lost herself in your father.”

This is what hits hardest for Nancy. It’s what makes her doubt what she’s been doing.

1x6 & 1x7

Here comes some of the shared trauma. Or, it’s more trauma for Nancy, anyway. Not exactly shared at this point, when she was the one in the Upside Down being chased by that thing. It makes sense that Nancy wouldn’t want to be alone after this and of course, it’s the perfect setup for some miscommunication because Steve’s on his way to check on her and that is apparently out of character for him.

He says he could tell something was wrong with her and Carol’s response is, “So what? Like, you’re worried about her?” He tries to blow it off, but Tommy and Carol are dicks and they latch on to any signs of weakness. But the point is, he’s going out of his way and doing this thing he wouldn’t have done for any girl before her and he sees her in a compromising position and jumps to conclusions. We already know how he reacts to things like this after his whole scene with the camera earlier. But more on that later.

First, I’d like to talk about how Nancy is ready to jump right back in it. It’s something I love about her character. Trauma? That’s future Nancy’s problem.

Or, you know, present Nancy’s problem a little bit, because on top of everything else, there’s the sign. The sign hurts. We can see the tears in her eyes as she stares up at it. We can see her panic as she looks around at everyone who can see this. And then she hears the spray paint can and her entire face changes. Now, she’s fucking pissed and she’s not going to let them get away with doing this.

I also appreciate that she doesn’t do anything to disguise how hurt she is here. She walks up and she lets them see that she’s upset. And we see Steve and how mad he is, but he starts talking and it kind of falls apart. Yeah, he’s mad, but he’s also incredibly hurt. And lashing out in an incredibly passive way, actually. I actually think his behavior here is so interesting. Like, we’re watching him cling to some of the last pieces of this façade he’s built for himself, but he’s still so passive in this entire thing until Jonathan steps in. He didn’t stop Tommy from doing this. He’s arguing with Nancy, but he’s said his piece and he’s going to walk away. Then, Jonathan speaks and Steve flips. Nancy isn’t his target of choice. That is Jonathan. So he pushes and he pushes and he pushes until Jonathan snaps.

I actually hate the line from the woman at the police station. Only love makes you that crazy, sweetheart. She’s implying that Johnathan snapped in Nancy’s defense, and she doesn’t have the context, so how would she know otherwise? But we know what it was. It was Steve calling his family a bunch of screw-ups. A disgrace. So, yeah. It was love, but it was for his family. The same thing that has motivated all his other choices in this series.

Hell, we get almost immediate confirmation of this when Joyce comes to pick them up.

Joyce: You risked your life. And Nancy’s. Jonathan: I thought I could save Will.

And listen. I’m not knocking Jonathan for caring about Will more. I actually think that’s very cool and admirable, but he is reckless with her life for the sake of his family. Which, again. Cool. He cares about his family in a very intense way that I dig. But Nancy is not his priority. Not even now when they were still trying to sell them as an endgame ship.

And also, I can’t excuse Steve’s behavior, because it was shitty. But you know what? You look at him, sitting on his car and sulking and that is not the face of someone who won. Which, technically he did lose that fight, but Nancy’s been called out and he got to hit Jonathan a few times, plus Jonathan was arrested for their fight? I mean, that’s got to be a little bit of a win, right?

But no. None of that is what he cares about. I mean, talk about a drastic pivot. We have Jonathan in the police station admitting he is prioritizing his family and then we flip over to Steve who thinks he’s lost Nancy, but is still prioritizing her anyway. You never even liked her, because she’s not miserable like you two. She actually cares about other people. However long he’s been friends with Tommy and Carol and he’s throwing it away. He literally abandons them at this random convenience store to go clean up the mess he made.

1x8

While Steve’s been cleaning some shit up, Nancy and Jonathan have been busy. Hopper and Joyce are going into the Upside Down to try to find Will and Nancy wants to help. I wanna finish what we started. I want to kill it. And Jonathan is on board. He doesn’t want his mom to get hurt and the thing is, Nancy understands love through Acts of Service. We’re supposed to see Jonathan jumping on board with her plan here and appreciate it the way she does.

She and Jonathan prep. They set up their traps. They cut their hands, using their own blood as bait. And when they bandage up their hands, there is a charged moment. A moment that is interrupted by Steve. I don’t know about you, but to me, this says that Steve is always going to be in the way of their relationship.

And here’s the thing. Steve is here because he’s still trying to clean up his messes. It is important that he is here to apologize to Jonathan. He said some fucked up things and he knows it. He’s so desperate to apologize. She tries to send him away and he’s begging. No, no, no. Listen, I messed up, okay? I messed – I messed up. Okay? Really. Please. I just want to make things right. Honestly, he could have been mad or hurt that she’s here and it doesn’t even faze him.

But everything shifts for him when he sees that she’s hurt. His voice changes into a different kind of frantic and that’s when he forces himself in and gets to see what they’ve been up to. Nancy tries to force him out. I’m doing this for you. She doesn’t want to drag him into this, too. She doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt by this thing, but he gets dragged in anyway. Panicking, scared, he starts to run when Nancy tells him to run the next time.

Honestly, this kills me every time. Jonathan and Nancy stay inside to fight this thing that took people away from them and Steve is running. He’s fumbling with his keys and it takes him a second to get his door open and then he looks back at the house and the lights are flashing. I’m still baffled by people who say his redemption arc didn’t start until season two, because to me, it looks like it was well underway by this point. This entire season was the start of it or he wouldn’t have run back into the house even though he was terrified out of his mind. Just think about Tommy yelling, “Run away like you always do,” two episodes ago and then watch him run in, grab the nail bat, and push himself between this monster and Nancy and tell me he wasn’t already well on his way.

That’s the other thing. Everyone has a reason to be here. They have various ties to Will. Then there’s Nancy, who lost Barb to this thing and then got dragged in a little further because her brother is involved. Jonathan is here for Will. Steve is here for Nancy. Something that remains consistent through where we are in the present.

We don’t have much of an idea of what happened over the next month. How Nancy ended up back with Steve instead of with Jonathan. There are vague mentions in season two of how Nancy waited and Jonathan says it wasn’t long enough, but I’ll talk about them then. But we end this season with a relatively happy ending for Steve. Unfortunately for him, you can tell that there’s still something unfinished between Nancy and Jonathan and that Steve is blissfully unaware or willingly ignoring it.

The thing is, we’re watching her fall into the “normal” that she’s already stated she is afraid of. With the boring one-time jock and a house at the end of the cul-de-sac.

That, however, is actually a great segue into season two!

Season Two

2x1

Almost an entire year later, Steve and Nancy are still together and Nancy is desperately trying to be what is expected of her while desperately trying to push Steve out of the box he is supposed to fit in. They’re reviewing his college essay and he knows it’s crap and he’s so dejected over the whole thing, because he doesn’t even want to leave anyway. He’s doing this, because she wants it. He wants to do it because she wants him to. So much of what Steve is doing is for Nancy, not for himself.

This whole thing reads like a conversation they’ve had before.

Nancy: You don’t have to go. Just work on this. Steve: No, no, no. What’s the point? Nancy: Hey, calm down. Steve: I’m calm. I’m calm. I’m just being honest, you know. I mean… I’ll end up working for my dad anyway. Nancy: That’s not true.

It’s a source of insecurity for both of them, but for different reasons. The difference is, Steve can see some positives to it. If he stays, he could get all those adult things. You know, insurance and benefits and everything you need to buy a house at the end of a cul-de-sac. You can practically see that thought flashing through Nancy’s mind as he’s saying it.

For some reason, he also seems to be nervous about leaving her in general. I would say that it’s because he’s jealous of Jonathan, but I’m not so sure that’s it. Or, not entirely. He’s probably a little insecure about their friendship, but I think it’s more that he’s concerned that if he’s gone, if he’s not here, Nancy is going to lose interest. Steve is one hundred and ten percent all in for this relationship and there is no way he can’t sense that Nancy isn’t.

I do also have to bring something up here. Consider it a little teaser for when we get into season three stuff, but Nancy is actively suggesting that Jonathan might meet someone if he comes to the Halloween party with her and Steve. MORE ON THAT LATER. Because more importantly in this scene, they’re very cute and having a little normal teen moment.

She kisses him back, but pulls away first. There is tension here. Not from him, though. He’s got the dopiest smile but she stares wistfully after Jonathan before she tries to pull herself back into the moment.

Really, the entire first episode is just proof that Nancy hasn’t been doing anything to work toward moving on. She isn’t ready to and that is completely valid. But she’s been trying to pretend that everything is okay and it isn’t working. She isn’t even that good at hiding it. Steve can tell that the dinners with Barb’s parents are hard on her. He checks in with her on the porch and everything. They’re probably a source of stress for him, too, but he’s so much better at pretending than Nancy is.

2x2 – 2x3

Let’s start off episode two right with physical touch: 7.

Again, it’s a comfort thing, right? This starts off as a general touch to get her attention, but his hand stays when he sees that she’s freaking out. Nancy, understandably, is holding onto a lot of trauma. Trauma that she associates with Steve. Steve, who is trying to fall back into some semblance of normal life and she’s followed, trying to make it work, but she resents him for how easy it is for him to do it.

Steve does say something very interesting here. “This isn’t some game, Nance. If they found out that we told any–” He looks around, panicking a bit, and then closes the blinds. “They could put us in jail, okay? Or worse, they could destroy our families. They could do anything they want, okay?” We still don’t know what they were told at the end of season one, but it was clearly enough to scare him. Nancy is opening up to him here and it’s making him freak out a little because he doesn’t know what to do or how to stay within the parameters that the government (?) has set. He can’t do what she wants, so he suggests what works for him. What we know works for him from season one. Pretending to be a stupid teenager for a few hours. (Note physical touch: 8 in that hug.)

But this is what Nancy’s been doing for the last year. She’s tired of pretending, but god, does she commit. She commits so hard that Steve has to pretend too, because he’s so busy trying to stop Nancy from drinking too much that he can’t really be a stupid teenager himself.

And being drunk means Nancy can be more honest with him than she has been.

You’re – you’re pretending like – like everything is okay. You know like… like we didn’t – like we didn’t kill Barb. Like – like it’s great. Like… we’re in love and we’re partying. Yeah, let’s party, huh? We’re partying. This – this is bullshit.

And Steve’s hand is shaking as he cups her face here, because yeah, he knew she was struggling, but she’s still pulling the rug out from under him here. (Also, physical touch: 9 aka the last one.)

I love Steve a lot, which I hope is obvious by now, and I really want to believe that he wouldn’t just abandon her at a party, but like. Jonathan isn’t friends with Steve. Do you really think Jonathan would follow Steve out to ask if he’s okay when he sees him running out, clearly upset? Or would he go check on Nancy? Especially with the way Jonathan says it to Nancy when she asks about it later. There’s more than a hint of a lie there. There also still is a little bit of King Steve left. I don’t really think it’s an ego thing, except it kind of is. Nancy is breaking his heart. She’s making him cry at a party with witnesses and his reputation is already a disaster.

Steve also isn’t above being petty. He’s apparently been picking Nancy up for school for however long now and just doesn’t do it the next morning.

Nancy just has so much confidence when she says, “And then you took me home.” Even Nancy doesn’t believe he’d just leave her at a party. But Steve is pissed and they’re fighting and he does kind of deserve to be mad, because she’s been hiding all these feelings from him for how long? And I do really believe that he cares about the Barb thing. Obviously not to the extent that Nancy does, but he knows she died at his party and he sees how much it hurts Nancy every time they go see her parents.

This is a lot of me defending Steve here, but Nancy deserves some defense, too. “I’ve been trying so hard to pretend like everything’s fine, but it’s not,” she says to Jonathan in her next scene. For Nancy, pretending like everything was fine ended up meaning Steve and as we all know by now, Steve isn’t exactly dealing with his emotions. Repression is the name of his game. Retreating into comfort. Status quo. And Nancy let herself get swept up in that, because it was easy, but in the end, Nancy wants revenge and Jonathan does, too.

2x4 – 2x6

I don’t want to dive too much into the Jonathan of it all, except it is kind of unavoidable. It is important to note that he is getting some revenge out of this, too. It isn’t some purehearted notion that he can help Nancy. He isn’t blindly following along here. Will still has lingering aftereffects from his time in the Upside Down and again, he wants revenge on the people he blames for that.

Also, we are reaching their portion of the show. I will try to keep this as brief as possible.

It is strange to me that the people who are pushing Jonathan and Nancy together are adults. Flo with her comment about “love” being the only thing that makes you that crazy. This hotel lady who gives them a disbelieving look when they want two beds. Murray. But the people who are pushing Steve and Nancy together in season four are their peers? Dustin and Robin, primarily. Eddie. Steve himself. Even a little bit of Nancy.

Regardless, this is where we learn that Nancy waited for Jonathan to make a move after season one. That it took her a month to officially get together with Steve.

Jonathan: Will needed me. And Steve….. Nancy: I waited. Jonathan: Yeah, like only a month.

I mean, listen, Jonathan. What do you expect? For her to wait around for you forever? That’s just the least cool thing ever. It makes sense that his priority would be Will, but it puts everything into glaring contrast once again. Nancy is not going to be his top priority. Ever.

And then we meet Murray. This, of course, lines up with us seeing Steve go to Nancy’s house with flowers, ready to apologize. Even though he thinks Nancy might not love him the way he loves her, he’s willing to try anyway.

I’m going to veer wildly off-topic for a second, although maybe it’s not as off-topic as I think. There is a reason that she is his top priority and that’s because his character was essentially built as an accessory to Nancy. Of course, there are other things that we know about him, like his parents suck and Nancy made him feel seen in a way he wasn’t before. So, even taking into account the fact that he wasn’t much of a character outside of her prior to this season, there are reasons for that, too. It’s a very normal teen thing to go through, I think. Hell, it’s an adult problem, too. Defining yourself based off what you think you need to be for someone else. Which is where I come around to saying that I think their separation over the next two seasons was very important and ultimately a good thing for him and his character. For both of them, actually.

Anyway, back to Murray, who says a lot of things Nancy takes to heart. There is one I think hits the hardest for her, and it’s not actually the “we like Steve, but we don’t love Steve” moment. It’s this:

You’re being naïve, Nancy! Those people… they’re not wired like you and me, okay? They don’t spend their lives trying to get a look at what’s behind the curtain. They like the curtain. It provides them stability. Comfort. Definition.

Murray does also pull out this gem:

You’re harder to read. Probably, like everyone, afraid of what would happen if you accepted yourself for who you really are and retreated back to the safety of… name? Name?

All of it is just piling onto the rest of her insecurities about Steve, who is tempted to take the easy way out and work for his dad so he can have insurance and benefits and head down that road leading toward a loveless marriage. Steve, who is trying so damn hard to pretend like everything is normal. Trying so damn hard to get her to feel that way and is accidentally dismissing her grief by doing so. That is what is so painful about their whole extended breakup this season. Neither of them are doing these things on purpose.

2x8 – 2x9

Okay, let’s just move on. And I know, I skipped over Steve and Dustin’s little chat. It’s pretty self-explanatory. Plus, we’ve just got so much to unpack with these next two episodes.

Everyone regroups. There’s something cinematically beautiful about the way this happens. Steve is off with the kids and he hears a noise, turns toward it, starts to run toward it. But it’s Steve who notices it. And who notices a noise on the other end? Nancy.

Like, I know it seems sort of dorky to focus on shots like these, but they don’t usually do stuff like this by mistake.

Nancy also shifts between Steve and Jonathan a lot during these scenes. Like, she can’t decide where she’s going. She’s near Steve when they’re all arguing before the gate opens and she’s near him again when they’re all trying to get it open. Once they get back to the Byers house, she’s comforting Jonathan and Steve walks off, with the same sniffle/nose swipe he does at the party when he walks away from her, by the way. And then it’s her and Steve putting up the tarps and boarding things up and her and Steve together for the morse code scene and her and Steve on the front lines of the fight and her and Steve looking for space heaters in the back yard.

I could talk about the narrative meaning behind them boarding up the shack together, but that’s been talked to death already. The symbolism is so obvious. What I haven’t seen discussed is that while she’s complimenting him on how he took care of things while she and Jonathan were off doing their thing, he’s the one with the staple gun. Nancy’s got the duct tape and is helping him, but Steve is the one doing the work. Which, you know, Steve is also the one doing all the work with this breakup.

It's him who tells her to go with Jonathan. He recognizes that there is nothing salvageable here. He sees where she really wants to be and wishes he could have been there for her in the way Jonathan was, but knows he wasn’t brave enough to help her the way she wanted and she wasn’t brave enough to actually ask for that help. Their relationship was essentially over when he walked away from her in the alley, but here he makes sure she knows, in no uncertain terms, that it is over and it is okay that it’s over.

Steve also has a harder time looking at her here, which is so interesting, because she can’t take her eyes off of him. Steve tells her that she should be with Jonathan, the way that Murray and Flo and that motel lady told her there was something there. And none of it has felt good for her. This final nail in the coffin is not a relief. The long shot on her staring after him is not a happy one.

I mean, they literally left the space Steve was standing in empty. They didn’t do a zoom on her face. They panned out to show how empty that spot beside her was.

Everything I’m saying here boils down to this, I guess. Everyone’s been telling Nancy she isn’t in love with Steve and honestly, I don’t know whether or not I even think she was. What I usually end up landing on is that she wants to be in love with Steve. He says he was a pretty shitty boyfriend, but the few things we see of them early this season do not paint it in that light. Not exactly. Overall, he cared about her a lot and he tried to support her, even if it wasn’t in the way she wanted, and I think she knows that. Their relationship wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t enough for her right now. And here Steve is absolving her of all of that. He couldn’t help her shoulder the responsibility of Barb’s death, so he takes on the responsibility of ending their relationship when he knows she wants something else and that… is just so heartbreaking. For Nancy, as well as Steve. (Also, Steve isn’t with Nancy anymore but he goes with her to Barb’s funeral. He arguably has no reason to go, but he does, because it’s right.)

I had to come back up here to add that while Nancy is staring sadly after Steve, we have a bit of voiceover with Mike’s lines from the next scene. Just be careful, okay? I can’t lose you again. I don’t have a lot to say about this now, but I think I mentioned this before somewhere. Editing choices like this are on purpose.

So, Steve watches the girl he loves drive off with the guy she can actually love right now and he stays behind to babysit. He stays behind to protect the kids, because that’s what he told Nancy he would do. He tries to fight Billy to protect Lucas and Max. He lets the kids drag him down into a nightmare pit and he does protect them. He saves Mike when the vines grab him. He pushes the kids out of the hole ahead of him and puts himself in front of Dustin when the demodogs are charging.

And what I’m about to say is possibly an unfair characterization of Nancy here, but she has almost been turned into an accessory of Jonathan’s in this last fight. She isn’t in charge. She doesn’t really contribute. She’s here for comfort. Which is fine, but it’s not very Nancy. At least, not the Nancy we know now. Nancy takes charge. She takes action. And this isn’t really her fight and you can sort of feel that through the entire scene.

The final part of this season has also been talked to death. Steve taking Dustin to the dance, helping him get ready, giving him a pep talk, and then Nancy taking care of Dustin at the dance. This is also one of the scenes that really convinces me they’ve shifted to endgame Steve/Nancy at this point. Because Dustin goes into the dance and he stares longingly at Max and Lucas while they dance right after Steve stares longingly at Nancy who he knows is with someone. It’s hard to ignore that parallel, even if Dustin does later move on while Steve doesn’t. Anyway, Steve and Nancy aren’t together anymore, but they’re still working on the same side to take care of Dustin and that is not a coincidence. Apart, their priorities are starting to align, even if neither of them are aware of it.

Season Three

We’re really in it now. Honestly, for as little of it as we got, I love the Steve and Nancy content from this season. The fucking parallels of the way they’re living their lives without each other is unreal. I think this will be a short section, but who fucking knows with me.

We start off with a great parallel. Nancy is working her summer job at the newspaper and it is not going as planned. And also, we want to talk about shitty boyfriends?

Nancy: They don’t actually like me or respect me as a living, breathing human with a brain. Jonathan: Wait, you just – you just gotta be patient, okay? They’re set in their ways, you know? But once they realize what a gifted writer you are, they’ll come around.

First of all. This is literally the same behavior we had from Steve in the beginning of season one. But it’s on purpose. Jonathan is actively trying to sweep her problems with this job under the rug. Second. Man, I don’t know if I really want to get into this. I don’t really want to bash on their relationship, because it’s fine, but their communication is pretty broken down, too. Once again, Nancy has a boyfriend who is advocating for the status quo. Advocating patience. Nancy has been tired of patience for a while now. She is tired of pretending everything is fine.

So, yeah, Nancy? Not happy at her job. Swipe over to Steve who is, surprise, also not happy with his job. His life is not going as planned. Girls don’t find him attractive right now (their loss). He didn’t get into college and his dad wouldn’t hire him as a punishment.

Robin: Have you considered telling the truth? Steve: Oh, you mean that I couldn’t even get into Tech and my douchebag dad’s trying to teach me a lesson? I make three bucks an hour and I have no future? That truth?

He looks genuinely upset. This is worse than he was afraid of last year. He doesn’t have anything he did at this point last year. Not even an ounce of it, and yet, he still approaches everything with this next-level confidence no matter how miserable he is. But this is another on purpose narrative parallel. Steve and Nancy are both not good. Jonathan is.

Even though I’m kind of skimming this season, I’m going to put it into unlabeled sections or I’m going to lose my mind over the formatting.

That doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Jonathan and Nancy are fighting, because they got fired over something she started. He didn’t even try to defend them. Nancy did. And now he’s pissed, because he lost his job. Which I do get (I grew up in a similar financial situation). But there’s this thing about him where he knows how to hit her where it hurts.

I don’t live in a two-story house on Maple Street. My dad doesn’t earn six figures. Hell, he isn’t even around. … Mortgage, college tuition, you know, those are real things, Nancy. Things that you don’t care about only because you don’t have to. … You want everything handed to you on a silver platter. I mean, we were interns, Nancy! Interns! What did you expect? That you would make star reporter in a month? Crack the big case?

This is so much like the argument they had in season one where he called her out about the cul-de-sac and boring one-time jock and it all boils down to what Nancy says here. I guess we just don’t understand each other anymore. And she’s right. It’s true. They understand each other when there is a cause they both want to fight, but when it comes to normal life, there is a disconnect that they can’t seem to get past.

There’s something about how Jonathon didn’t think in season one. He says that to Joyce when she mentions that he endangered himself and Nancy. And then here, Nancy is talking to her mom, and says almost exactly the same thing. To be honest, I wasn’t thinking about him. I wasn’t thinking about anyone really. It’s this great bonding moment for Nancy and her mom, because we can hear Karen confirming (not explicitly) the things Nancy said about her in season one. How she obviously wanted more for herself. And she sees Nancy who wants things for herself and she encourages her not to stop, because she doesn’t want to see Nancy fall into the same thing she did. Nancy’s mom believes in her so much.

Honestly, there’s a super interesting comparison here between Jonathan and Nancy’s story and Dustin and Steve’s story. Steve hesitated in seasons one and two. Ultimately, he followed through, but he hesitated at first. Here, in season three, he willingly dives back in. And then there’s Jonathan who dove right in with Nancy in the first two seasons and now that his family isn’t in trouble, now that there isn’t anything in it for him, he is hesitating.

Of course, that all changes once Nancy says she thinks Will might be in danger. All of a sudden, Jonathan’s back in it.

LISTEN. I’m so excited about this connection I made in my notes.

2x8, Jonathan to Will: Sorry I wasn’t there. I should have been here. 3x5, Will to Jonathan: You weren’t there?! And his response: Well, I’m here now, aren’t I? With Nancy’s addition of: Hallelujah. 4x9, Jonathan to Nancy: I’m sorry I wasn’t here. And Nancy’s response: To be honest, I’m kind of glad you weren’t.

LIKE. LOOK. It’s just a thing about recurring themes and who always shows up, isn’t it?

Can I just drop this here and then go off about it later? I think I have to. This is now a teaser.

There is a bright side for Jonathan, which is his apology. Except for the fact that in the next episode, he’s already kind of backed off from it and is doubting her again.

Okay, I want to talk about Steve again. Steve’s redemption arc obviously started in season one, but we’re really seeing the culmination of his character arc over the last three seasons fall into place during his conversation with Robin. It is ridiculously self-aware in a way that I’m not sure people realize Steve is. But you can’t move on from the past behavior he moved on from without being self-aware. Anyway, I love this moment from him.

Robin: You were a real asshole, you know that? Steve: Yeah, I know. Robin: But it didn’t even matter. It didn’t matter that you were an ass. I was still… obsessed with you. Even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all, we still just wanna be popular. Accepted. Normal. Steve: If it makes you feel any better, having those things isn’t all that great. Seriously. It just baffles me. Everything that people tell you is important, everything that people say you should care about, it’s all just… bullshit.

This, on top of another line from this scene: Maybe instead of being here, I’d be on my way to college right now. It’s all coming down to Nancy. The first hint is bullshit, obviously. That’s pretty much Nancy’s catchphrase at this point. She called him out during their bathroom fight for being bullshit. It’s something that has probably informed a lot of his growth over the last year of his life. But the second hint is the mention of college. He’s still thinking about the things Nancy tried to make him believe he could have in life, but the difference is, he actually seems to want them for his own reasons now.

And I’m about to say something. I don’t know the fandom’s opinion on this, because I’m not super keyed into the fandom for this show, but like. Okay. We all know Steve was lying when he says he’s not in love with Nancy anymore, right? Robin hasn’t metabolized the truth serum or whatever yet, or she has and she just has no filter, but Steve is 1000% lying. And like, one could argue that he’s convinced himself of this, but shit. It’s proven to be a lie almost immediately.

He’s going on here about how he’s found someone a little better for him and we are kind of taught here that when it comes to meaningful relationships, Steve has a type. Super smart. Maybe a little shy, but actually super confident and sure of themselves and what they want. Robin and Nancy are actually pretty similar when it comes down to the list of bullet points about their personalities. And he’s trying really hard to replace Nancy and it might have worked if Robin were into guys, but she isn’t.

Which leads me to my favorite Steve moment ever that isn’t related to Nancy. This pivot here? Fucking masterful. She is vulnerable and admits something very scary to him and it just does not bother him even a little. He is so supportive. I just love him.

Finally, let’s talk about when Steve and Nancy finally see each other again. I feel like this has to be his least ideal way of seeing her again. In this little sailor outfit that he has to wear for his job after he got beat up. The amazing thing here is that Nancy runs right up to him to check on him. And the best part, the most promising part, is that she’s jealous of Robin.

I’m sorry. Who are you?!

And poor Steve over here is just staring at her. Blatantly staring.

Does anyone really want to tell me he still doesn’t have feelings for her after that look? And vice versa. Honestly, it’s the way she just immediately doesn’t like Robin for me. Nancy looking from Robin over to Steve like she’s looking for some kind of hint as to what he was thinking when he pulled her into his.

Okay, really, I just love so much about this finale. It’s wild how good it is.

Once they’re split up, it’s Steve (again) who notices that something is wrong before anyone else. That shot of him staring off into the distance just like last season, looking in Nancy’s direction and knowing that something isn’t right down there.

And then when they hear the noises on the walkie, he throws himself up and starts sprinting for the car. It’s so good.

NOT TO MENTION. Nancy being a fucking badass and putting herself between everyone and Billy’s car and then Steve smashing in at the last possible second to save her. It’s just. IT’S SO GOOD. The way he doesn’t even hesitate to crash his car into Billy’s is so good. (Remember that whole thing about who is always there?) It doesn’t feel like there’s much to elaborate on with all this, except you remember how I said the thing up above about Jonathan hesitating this season until his family is involved and Steve not doing that? Well, here’s Steve not hesitating.

Season Four

This section is long. Take a break here if you have to.

4x1 – 4x3

Here we are! Season four! Now, I’ve always loved Steve and Nancy together and it’s always felt clear that there was some unfinished business there, but I didn’t expect what we got in this season. Not even a little.

By the end of the first episode, we know where Steve and Nancy’s love lives are.

I’m going to talk about Nancy’s first, because there’s obviously some Jonathan talk. I actually really liked the way that this scene was set up. It weirdly shows that they’re on the same page about where their relationship is. They’re both a bit in denial about how things are going. They defend each other and their relationship while giving no real reason why they’re not going to see each other over the break. Jonathan’s mom works and he has to watch his brother and Jonathan wants to be there for his acceptance letter, all in her lying voice. The voice that kind of cracks and goes up an octave at the end of her sentences. And Jonathan saying that Nancy works over breaks, because that’s the kind of dedicated person she is. When really, the only thing being communicated loud and clear here is this: if they wanted to see each other, they could have.

With that out of the way, let’s take a look at where Steve is sitting. He’s over here saying things like, “Do I really want to start another relationship that has no point other than sex?” The answer: no. And things like, “I really dig this girl. I mean, I think that she could – who knows, maybe she could be the one.” Is she the one, Steve? Is she? Are you on the same page? Because she thinks Tammy Thompson is a good singer. I mean, I know and we know that he’s just saying that to Dustin. He doesn’t really believe it. There’s no conviction behind the words.

Hell, he admits in the next episode that he’s as hopeless as Robin. But you know, there’s this thing he’s doing while Robin is monologuing here. Especially this portion. “I know exactly what I want and I’ve found the girl of my dreams, but I just can’t get the courage to ask her out. Meanwhile, you go on like, a million dates and you have no idea what you want.” He’s staring off into the distance and thinking about something the whole time Robin is talking about that. Now, I don’t want to say he was thinking about Nancy here, except… I mean, listen. Veering into later episode conversations for a moment, it isn’t much of a stretch to assume that he does know what he wants. He’s just not saying it out loud, because there’s no point.

Meanwhile, we have Nancy reliving her trauma through Chrissy’s death. Pushing her back into action, because she knows it’s something more. This being here gives me a little hope that we might have a conversation between Steve and Nancy next season closing the loop on Nancy’s trauma and her subsequent resentment of their relationship.

But I’m getting off track again. The important things to bring up for Nancy in episode two is that once again, it is being highlighted that Jonathan isn’t here and she is annoyed about that. But in doing so, we also have to talk about how Jonathan is unloading all his worries onto Argyle. How he admits that Nancy’s dream for their future isn’t his and he’s been lying to her. He doesn’t want to go to Emerson. All he can see right now is the end of their relationship, whether it’s now or a more miserable years down the road.

Which, like, if you take into account later episodes once again… and you think about Robin telling Steve that he doesn’t know what he wants when we know for a fact that he does…. You see what I’m getting at?

Anyway, let’s circle back to how Nancy is annoyed that Jonathan isn’t here. How she just admitted this to Fred half a day ago and she is left alone, being questioned by cops who have never taken her seriously, she’s hugging her stomach and kind of hunched over and she just looks terrified.

But then, she sees Steve’s car pull up and everything shifts. There is visible relief. She is so taken aback.

The cops are still trying to talk to her, but she’s not looking at them. She’s not even listening to them. Their voices literally fade into the background. She’s laser-focused on Steve and the fact that he is there. She gives him a little wave. He gives her a little wave back.

And then she smiles.

Because he showed up. Steve didn’t even know that she needed support and he’s miraculously there.

There was so much focus the first two episodes about how Jonathan wasn’t there and how much that bothered her and the first thing that happens in episode three is Steve showing up when Nancy is in distress. And it keeps getting better!

First of all, we’ve got Steve who is staring at Nancy, which is why he notices that she’s splitting off from the group.

Which leads to his subsequent panic. “No, it’s too dangerous. You need… you need someone to….” Steve can’t really get the words out and I love the way Nancy looks at him here while she’s waiting for him to say what he thinks she needs.

Like, she doesn’t interrupt him. She doesn’t fire back or anything. Because, you know, I feel like a lot of people would expect her to deny help before he can offer it. But we already know that Nancy doesn’t want to be alone, because she’s said she doesn’t want to be alone. Remember? She’s annoyed that Jonathan isn’t here. And here’s Steve offering himself and his help without needing to ask.

Second of all, we have this look at Robin when she interjects and says she’ll go with Nancy.

We already know from the end of last season that Nancy isn’t Robin’s biggest fan. Of all people to tag along, she’s Nancy’s last choice. And then Robin’s giving him shit. “Unless you think we need you to protect us.” And he doesn’t have anything he can say to that. But he wanted to go with Nancy. So bad. And you know Robin knows it. I mean, look at that face.

He couldn’t say he wanted to go with Nancy to protect her, because he knows Nancy doesn’t need protection, but Robin knew what he wanted to say and she can one-hundred percent give him shit for it.

But you know, let’s circle back to Nancy and how she didn’t really say anything when Steve was saying he wanted to help. And her little smile and her shrug.

It looks a little like a “you tried” or “thanks anyway”. And we’re left with poor Steve gawking.

Pretty public, indeed.

Third, we have Dustin straight up calling Steve out about his feelings. You know, in case we missed any of the other hints so far.

And fourth. Finally. We have more jealousy from Nancy. Anyone who was caught off guard by this didn’t pay attention in 3x8, because this isn’t a new development. And really, hold on, I guess this means I get to talk about Robin a little more. Who obviously isn’t stupid. Like, last season, we have Steve telling her that he isn’t in love with Nancy anymore, but he hasn’t been able to commit to anyone since. See her ridiculous smile above again. And now, we have Nancy, saying, “You’re obviously bored, so why don’t you call Steve?”

You can practically see the lightbulb going off in her head. Especially coupled with Nancy’s eye roll that I didn’t notice until I was picking these scenes apart because the camera cuts away in the middle of it?

So, Robin, having her friends’ best interests in mind, practically falls down the stairs to reassure Nancy that she and Steve are totally not a thing.

I think you’re supposed to look less interested in this information, Nancy. Funny how immediately after this, Nancy is a heck of a lot nicer to Robin. I wonder why.

4x4 – 4x6

I’d like to start this portion of season four by saying that someone should really talk to Steve about how to look at your ex-girlfriend.

Or not. I mean, this is the right way to look at someone, really.

Once again, it’s being pointed out that Steve is here. That seems to be the theme this season. Not only that he’s here, but that he’s eager to throw himself into danger beside her now. To help. Nancy isn’t planning to take him with her, again, and Steve is following her around the house because he wants to go. He’s over here saying things like, “Why does it always have to be me? It’s like–“

What is it like, Steve?

And like, “I can’t do anything here, Nance!”

God, he wants to help so bad.

We also have Robin here to helpfully point out that Nancy still has a Tom Cruise poster in her room. In front of Nancy’s ex-boyfriend who once pointed out that his friends say he looks like her lover boy from Risky Business. Subtlety, party of zero.

The real thing I want to talk about here is how there’s a very interesting mix of comfort and tension. Nancy and Steve argue like they know each other so well, which they kind of do, but there’s something heavier here. Steve not wanting Nancy to run off into potential danger without him, because he wants to be there to know she’s okay. Right? Like I said. There’s no subtlety to any of this.

Honestly, this all reminds me again of how Nancy is the first person who took Steve seriously. I mean, sure, that’s something I’m kind of inferring from that wiki entry about their relationship, but it seems valid. How she listened to him in a way no one else did and it made him feel seen and heard and he’s trying to communicate with her here that he doesn’t want to be left behind, because of that.

Next episode, we find them all sleeping in the Wheeler’s basement. And positioning, my friends. It is so important. Steve is passed out in that chair and when Nancy wakes up, sitting up, she’s on the floor right in front of said chair? Yeah. That happened. How and why? We’ll never know for sure. But there’s a whole thing I could say about gravitating toward each other as a source of comfort. Or more specifically Nancy possibly gravitating toward Steve as a source of comfort because he’s there and helping.

But the real important thing this episode is Steve and Nancy breaking down those barriers, right? Another thing that I know has been discussed to death, but we can’t have a Steve and Nancy essay without this point, can we? They end season two boarding up a building together. Symbolically closing off communication between the two of them, because they were not on the same page then. Or, they were, but it was too late.

And this season, after over a year of growing separately, they are officially on the same page and reopening lines of communication and vulnerability with each other. Not only that, but during this whole conversation, they’re nonverbally checking in with each other the entire time. Everyone is participating in this conversation, but they’re looking at each other.

Hell, even a verbal check-in before they open the door.

I mean, talking about a lack of subtlety. But Steve asking “ready?” before they let the plank of wood fall down is fucking wild, honestly.

I’m going to talk about Robin being involved with a significant portion of Steve and Nancy’s major moments near the end of this. Just, that’s another teaser for you. But it’s a thing and it’s big.

How about this cobwebs scene, huh? I feel like I should just make a collage of Nancy’s faces here. It’s just… I hear a lot of talk about how devastatingly fond Steve looks all the time when he’s looking at her, but this is just ridiculous.

The soft little smiles when he can’t see her. Like, maybe it’s just me, but how do you smile like this when you’re picking cobwebs out of someone’s hair?

And what is with this direct, prolonged eye contact from both of them??? Steve???

The way Nancy goes from smiles

to just sad?

And then he says his little thing that he wants to make him sound smart and he just completely butchers it and Nancy is back to smiles again?

Honestly, her face is a journey here and it’s really better shown via mediocre gifs, so have these.

So, now that I’ve gushed over the faces in this scene, maybe I should try talking about it in a little more clarity. I’m not sure I can, though. They’re just so cute. Steve opening the door and being like, hey we should hang out again. You know, with people. Because that’s safer, right? It’s a safe way for him to say he misses having her around without having to actually say it. Nancy’s picking up what he’s putting down and she’s charmed. Honestly, I’d love to have some more information about how things went when they were first getting together. Or however they got together after season one. Because he’s rambling. It’s cute. Nancy thinks it’s cute.

But then they’re looking at each other again and making that incredibly direct eye contact and the gravity of the situation hits her. And by the situation, I mean the fact that both of them could step away, could separate, and they just don’t. They stay in each other’s space and they look at each other and Steve tries to say something smart and ends up fucking it up, but it’s still cute and y’all it’s those feelings that are bubbling back up whether she wants it to or not.

And in the next episode, we finally have Steve and Nancy standing directly next to each other almost every time they’re in a scene together. Before this, they’ve been separated by the group, tending to be across from each other more often than side by side. But until they split up again in season nine, they’re placed next to each other a majority of the time.

That’s just a little aside, though. The real content here is Robin wishing happiness for her friends.

If I’m permitted to see a silver lining in any of this end-of-the-world doom and gloom, it would be the rekindling of some old flames that frankly never should have been snuffed out. I didn’t mean that as a hint or anything. … But if I did mean it as a hint, would that be so terrible? For me to wish happiness for my friends?

Before I move onto Nancy’s entire monologue, can I just point out the absolute panic from our beloved Nance in the middle of this whole thing from Robin?

It’s honestly very reminiscent of the conversation with Murray in season two, where he’s telling her the whole “we like Steve but we don’t love him” thing and she gets very defensive. She didn’t know then if she was making the right choice and the past couple days for her, it’s really been driven home that she still doesn’t know if she made the right choice.

And then we have Nancy’s not even a little concealed “uh oh I’m about to vent all over this poor person” here.

I could tear apart this monologue from her. It’s a really good one, though… is it a monologue if it’s one sentence that lasts an incredibly long time? That doesn’t matter. Nancy is finally admitting to someone, to Robin, that she doesn’t know if she’s happy. That things with Jonathan are not good. That she has been feeling their relationship crumble for a while and she can’t get ahold of him to find out if it’s just the distance or if they’ve genuinely grown apart. While yes, this is huge for the Steve and Nancy of it all, it’s also just huge for Nancy in general. The poor girl hasn’t had a real close friend since Barb died and Robin is barely implying the hey you can talk to me and Nancy takes full advantage immediately.

Obviously the final thing we have to talk about in this chunk of episodes is the boat. Very proud of Steve who will not be left behind again just jumping into that boat, because he is going to be there, damn it.

But also, personal space? Steve and Nancy don’t know her.

I mean, Eddie and Robin are doing their part, sitting on the bench like normal people. Meanwhile, Nancy is over here with her knee as close as it can be to Steve’s without actually making contact.

You know, it’s absolutely bonkers how this is panning out. Nancy went to Steve in season one about Barb first, right? She saw the, at that point in time, unknown creature behind his house and she went to him first. He dismissed the whole thing because he was more focused on how it affected him than on the greater issue at hand. And here we are, a couple years in the future, and he’s right next to her, ready to dive into potential danger the way she wanted in the first place. Of course, we can’t talk about all that without talking about how worried she is when she realizes what he’s doing.

And what’s his response to this? It’s gotta be me. No complaints, all right?

And Nancy. Girl. I mean, no one can blame her, but she’s out here ogling Steve. In front of EVERYONE.

It’s pretty fucking public. And Robin is delighted to clock this.

Again, I think I mentioned this as a teaser already, but I’m going to re-tease it. Robin is so important to Steve/Nancy this season. Like, it’s ridiculous.

Nancy doesn’t even give a shit that it’s public. She’s not paying any attention to Robin or Eddie. These two dorks can’t keep it together for one second. She tells him to be careful and he gives her that quiet little nod.

They have zero chill about each other. Honestly, it’s just like… that whole thing I already said where his character development has taken him to this place where he’s pretty much exactly what Nancy wanted from a partner originally. Do people really think that’s an accident?

Anyway, she continues to have zero chill the entire time he’s underwater.

And again when he resurfaces, she’s just got to smile like that?!

But yeah, here we get our moment with zero hesitation. Where Steve is yanked back under the water and Nancy is the one to get it together first and dive right in. Steve will probably say that she’d do it for anyone and would she? Yeah. That’s who Nancy is. But they didn’t show us her diving into danger for anyone. They showed her diving into danger to save Steve for reasons.

4x7

I’m trying to decide how to talk about the post-demobat fight scene, because there’s a lot to it. I could make a joke about how Nancy was looking for any excuse to touch Steve, because. I mean.

Which, sure. That’s a little bit of it, isn’t it? But also, she’s worried about him. They’re not minor wounds, by any means.

Nancy has to make sure that he’s not about to die on her. And of course, he makes a stupid joke saying that he’s never been better.

But like, really, what this is about is Nancy’s relief and their connection. She does that thing again when he makes that joke, when she sees that he’s (mostly) okay. The same thing she did in episode three when she saw him pull up and her entire body sags with relief.

It’s giving me “I’m doing this for you” and [Steve runs back into a house he knows a dangerous monster is in] in a weird way. Don’t ask me to elaborate. I’ve been elaborating for such a long time.

Also, do you mind if I briefly die over the fact that Steve is incredibly injured and still he puts himself in front of everyone when the next wave of bats shows up?

Anyway. Nancy is the one they have immediately run to his side there. And when they’re hiding under Upside Down Skull Rock and he stumbles, she’s the one who runs to his side again. Well, she was already there, because she’s so keyed into how he’s doing here.

Continuing her trend of not hesitating, Nancy doesn’t hesitate to rip off part of her shirt to bandage up Steve’s wounds here. I also need to make sure you all know that she asks him if the bandage is too tight, which is a direct and on purpose parallel to season one where she’s sort of dating Steve and bandaging up Jonathan’s hand and she asks him if it’s too tight. Like. Girl. How do you feel about this narrative you’re in?

It makes sense that it’s a parallel, because she and Jonathan were pretty close to kissing there when Jonathan interrupted and there should technically be something interrupting these two now, but their audience isn’t paying attention to them, which means that no one is really noticing how… uh… flirtatious and sexual this scene is except for these two. I mean. These two definitely notice.

Like, she tightens the bandage and I’m pretty sure she tucks the ends of it into his pants for him while he’s up there running his hands through his hair in what is arguably the most attractive first aid scene ever on television.

The tension here? Unparalleled. And what does he do when he’s looking at her like this?

He fucking thanks her. And Nancy’s sent through a whole face journey, as she often with Steve this season.

But like, Robin and Eddie are literally turning their backs and giving them privacy for this, which is wild. Giving Steve and Nancy time for prolonged eye contact and confusing feelings that are violently resurfacing.

I mentioned earlier in this thing that Nancy and Steve are framed together a lot in the latter half of this season. I really like the way they did it, actually. Because when they have an incredibly intimate moment, like the above first aid moment above, we see Nancy pull away after to take some space. Like she has to remind herself that the ability to take space exists and that she should probably take it.

But the gap is always closed after. And in this case, it’s closed by Steve with another little joke and Nancy flirts. With more prolonged eye contact. And he knows she’s flirting.

IT’S PRETTY PUBLIC.

I don’t have a lot to say about this shot, except I do love how annoyed they both look by Eddie’s interruption.

Remember what I said about close, intimate moments followed by Nancy forcing separation? Well, that’s about to happen again immediately with this earthquake. They hold onto each other for thirty whole seconds. The earthquake lasts for eight of those. So, for twenty-two seconds after it ends, they just stand there like this.

I guess I did make a joke about Nancy looking for any opportunity to touch Steve, but it’s vice versa, too, right? He’s clinging to her shoulder and she’s clinging to his arm and it’s a lot. You can tell Nancy thinks it’s a lot, too.

But she’s still staring at Steve after, so we know even more that Nancy is forcing space she doesn’t necessarily want, even though she has to take it.

Let me just… I want to write out Eddie’s whole speech, because it’s just important.

See? The only reason I came in here was ‘cause those ladies came in straight after you. Now, I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind. But Wheeler? Right there? She didn’t waste a second. Not one second. She just dove right in. Now, I don’t know what happened between you two, but if I were you? I would get her back. ‘Cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen.

That, with the subtitle [subdued emotional music] with Steve staring longingly after Nancy? You can tell he doesn’t believe it. Or he doesn’t want to allow himself to believe it, but he wants to so bad. Because, you know, Eddie doesn’t know what happened between the two of them and there is so much history and weight between Nancy and Steve and it wasn’t his fault, but he’s also the one who ended things and made the official choice to walk away. So, yeah. Poor Steve.

You know, I find the order that they choose to go back through the gate to be pretty interesting. Robin, Eddie, Nancy, and then Steve. Why is Steve the last out when he’s injured? I know that, logically, it’s because there’s intended to be another Steve and Nancy scene here, but what are they even thinking here?

And then Steve nods at Eddie to go up. Neither of them are super willing to leave the other behind and I think that’s lovely.

And finally, we’re being shown what we already know. Nancy’s biggest source of trauma. Steve’s pool. The night Barb died. They pointed out how time stopped in the Upside Down the night Will went missing, because Nancy’s flashcards weren’t done. It’s a bit like how Nancy got stuck in her grief, right? Symbolically? And showing us that her grief is still there, that some of that lingering self-blame is still there, is obviously going to be super important. Eventually. Just not this season.

4x8

This sort of overlaps with the previous episode, but we’ll lump it all together here. Steve’s panic and desperation, trying to get Nancy to hear him, yelling at everyone else to figure it the fuck out. “Stay with me,” with his hands on her shoulders, then her face, then her shoulders and neck. And when she wakes up, she just collapses and he immediately catches her. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m right here. I’m right here.”

So, what do we get from this? Well, there’s the obvious. It’s been talked about multiple times in season four. Jonathan isn’t here. Steve is. And this isn’t a new thing for Jonathan. He apologizes at least once a season to someone for not being there. And, still obvious, but less so. After this moment, we have Hopper and Joyce talking to each other. “I thought I lost you.” / “I did lose you.” And then, perhaps less obvious. This kind of parallel to other couples on top of others. Mike says, “I’m here,” to El in season three while holding her. In this season, we hear Lucas talking to Max about how he sees her while we have Nancy starting to see Steve and his growth. We also have (in earlier episodes) Mike’s inability to tell El that he loves her directly paralleling Nancy’s inability to tell Steve she loves him in season two. And all the parallels to the start of Jonathan and Nancy’s relationship and unresolved tension that they carried around for a whole season’s worth of episodes before they did anything about it. And these are just the ones I pulled off the top of my head. I guess, since I’m going in chronological order though, I should focus on where we are in the timeline.

Nancy gives the team the download and she’s emotional the entire time. The camera shows us Steve’s reaction more than anyone else’s during Nancy’s speech. With the exception of Nancy’s, of course. But they show his reaction when she gets more emotional. He can’t look at her when her voice breaks. He’s kind of mirroring her here. She takes a shaky breath, he takes a shaky breath. She cries, he has to close his eyes.

Everyone else is staring at her in varying degrees of fear, horror, etc. But not him.

But she gets herself together and wants to go back and he argues with her. The others just kind of watch. It’s very clear that Steve and Nancy are the ones running the show and very clear that Steve is going to defer to her. And still, Max is saying her part and everyone looks to Nancy for her reaction, but Nancy looks to Steve.

For a long time.

Ah, and here we have the beautiful Winnebago talk. Nancy decided to ride up front with Steve and they are awkwardly attempting to make conversation and Steve adorably launches into a talk about what he always envisioned for his future while Nancy looks on with this face.

And NANCY THINKS IT SOUNDS NICE. Cue the [tenderly] in the captions when Nancy says, “Yeah,” back to his “Yeah?”.

I MEAN and Nancy’s over here just smiling like this half the time???

This whole scene is just perfection. And Nancy is thinking so hard after it?

Like, Steve tried to broach the future stuff with her one time as far as we know and she was not receptive in that moment. Here? She’s fucking receptive. Nancy sees this life, these dreams he has laid out for himself, and it’s yet another side of him she’s seeing that she likes. He’s reminding her that there is potential for a very nice life on the other side of all of this.

On the other end of this, we get a bit of insight as to where Steve’s head is actually at while he and Robin are making the Molotov cocktails.

Robin: In the face of the world ending, the stakes of my love life feel spectacularly low. Steve: Yeah, I mean, I get you there, but… I still have hope.

I want to unpack that first. Robin is bummed because she saw Vicki with a guy. Steve is here trying to be supportive and Robin pulls this out. And Steve. Steve?! This guy over here, who was scared to take what Eddie said to heart, who is about to march off into danger again, who just spilled his guts to his ex about the life he wants – this guy has hope.

Robin: Not everything has a happy ending. Steve: Yeah, yeah, believe me, I know.

Which he says with an incredibly unsubtle glance over at Nancy. And Robin, of course, follows his eyeline and lets out a quiet laugh, even though he looked away pretty quick. Robin’s been watching this whole thing unfold and she knows her bestie here has his heart just laying out there for someone to stomp all over again or pick up and she doesn’t know which is going to happen. Neither does he.

And still, the conversation ends up here. With Robin saying, “We have to try, right?” And yes, they’re talking about Vecna, but they’re also talking about everything else in life, because nothing in a story is that simple.

4x9

We’re here! It’s almost the end.

Let’s see. What should we touch on in the beginning of this one. Oh, the fact that the tension between them is somehow getting worse? Better? I guess it depends on your perspective.

Better, right?

The difference here is that this time, Nancy can’t put distance between them after this moment of intimacy. They’re literally marching off into battle side by side and Robin, their safety net, runs off. So, does she really want that distance?

Like, look at this. They’re talking about baby Steve being a total dork and it looks like they’re making date conversation, not walking through an evil parallel dimension off to fight some wizard/monster/generally all-around scary dude.

This portion is going to be lots of dialogue and screenshots. I’ll try to make it clear when I’m giving commentary, because I think this portion will be long.

Steve: I think, like, right out of the gate, like, I’m super confident, you know? But I’m also an idiot. Which is just, I mean, it’s a brutal combination. But, I mean, the good news is, I get a big enough thump on my head, I can change, you know? I can learn. I can crawl forward.

Nancy’s never really gotten to see this level of self-reflection from Steve, as far as we know. And he’s not being very complimentary of himself. But you know, she also missed out on experiencing a lot of this change. They went from being around each other on a fairly regular basis to seeing each other maybe a few times over the last year-ish and now he’s this whole other person. And it isn’t like she doesn’t know what ‘thump on the head’ he’s talking about.

Steve: Listen, I guess what I’m trying to say in a really stupid, roundabout way is, um….

Steve: … is thank you. Nancy: Thank me? Steve: Yeah. Nancy: For? Steve: For giving my head the biggest thump of its life two years ago.

Steve: I needed it.

I mean, how could it ever occur to her that he would thank her for breaking his heart? She’s never been proud of how their relationship ended. Don’t make me go pull up one of the season two screenshots again from when he’s walking away. So, the fact that he’s thanking her? I love it, but I can also understand why it would seem so unbelievable to her.

Steve: It changed my life. And now I’m crawling forward. Slowly. I just wonder sometimes… you know, if… some other girl had given me a proper thump before we met, would things have been different?

Honestly, I don’t have much to add here, except I feel like Nancy is on exactly the same page. If this had been Steve back when she needed him in season one, would things be different? This is what she wanted all that time.

Steve: Like, if we were meeting together for the first time right now, part of me… I don’t know part of me thinks we would’ve made it.

Nancy: Steve….

Steve: Remember the dream I told you about? About the Winnebago? Seeing the country with my six lil’ nuggets?

But the audacity of her to have such a sweet, soft smile when he’s reminding her of his dreams? Not to focus too much on negative fandom opinions, but how can anyone think she’s horrified by that? Like, this smile on top of her mild panic over him actually saying this out loud is such a combination though.

Steve: It’s all true. Every last word.

Steve: But I left one part out. It’s the most important part.

I MEAN COME ON. You cannot tell me that she didn’t know exactly where he was headed with this. With THIS face?! Look how open and receptive and patient she is???

Steve: You’re there.

Steve: You’ve always been there.

And Steve punctuating this whole thing with a soft, open, vulnerable smile. And Nancy looking up at him, also vulnerable and sad and like she can see the whole fucking picture he’s painting?

But then she looks down, remembering herself and where she is and what position she’s in, and his smile shifts.

They’re both so sad here. Like, they’ve both lost each other and they’ve come back to each other this season in so many ways. And here he is reaching out, but as soon as she looks down, it’s like he’s bracing himself for the worst.

Nancy’s about to say something. Finally. After another long moment of prolonged eye contact. And Robin interrupts.

Nancy isn’t even shocked or mad or relieved. The sadness there is too overwhelming. Steve, however, is annoyed. Timing, Robin. Even if Nancy was about to turn him down, I think he’d rather know now than not.

Also, can we finally talk about how Robin interrupts pretty much every single one of their major moments this season? I don’t even mean that in a bad way. It’s kind of how they pulled down the barrier on the door and she stepped up with the brick, saying she found the key to open the door. She smashes open the glass and then Steve reaches his arm in to unlock/open the door through the opening she made. Right??? So, first there was Steve trying to make sure Nancy stays safe instead of going off alone and Robin interrupting to go with her instead. Next, Steve and Nancy are lightly arguing about the visit to Victor Creel and Robin runs into the room behind them. Then, Nancy is helping Steve get the cobwebs out of his hair and Robin comes in with her commentary about spiders.

I could go on, but I think you have a general idea of where I’m going. There are more moments. So many. I’m actually pretty sure Robin interrupts every single moment between them except for the one where Eddie interrupted “for Steve’s modesty”.

Like I said, though, I’m not calling this out because I hate it. I’m actually calling it out, because again, there are reasons they do these things and I love it. It could mean a few things. One of them is that Robin was a pretty important part of Steve’s character growth. Another is that Nancy needs an onscreen friend who isn’t a love interest. But ultimately, it’s that Robin is integral to Nancy and Steve coming back together. I mean, she’s probably… mostly done her part. There were a few things that needed to be established by her. Nancy needed to know that Robin and Steve are not a couple. Nancy also needed to hear someone acknowledge the fact that she and Steve have unfinished business.

And… you know, okay. The thing that really helps me explain this point is the one where Steve and Nancy take the board down from the door at the Creel house and then Robin comes in with her brick and smashes open the window so that Steve can unlock it. DO YOU SEE WHERE I’M GOING WITH THIS?! Nancy and Steve have reopened the avenue to healthy communication. Robin has come in with a brick to smash that window open so that Steve can get in there and officially open the door. Which he’s done. You’ve always been there. Nancy didn’t get to respond, but… I mean… right?! It’s an open thread that will need to be addressed and I’m excited about it.

Oh, while I’m talking about how this is an open thread for them, let’s just take a look at Nancy’s face when Steve gets grabbed by the vines when they’re in the Upside Down.

I don’t even have anything to say about it. I just wanted to show you how much she doesn’t want to lose him.

I’m not even diving into how much I love the whole bit of Steve being the one to hand her the shotgun in Vecna’s lair. Twice. And I’m not diving into it in great detail, because I’ve already said it. They’re partners here. Which is what she wanted from the beginning.

OKAY. Let’s get back on track. There isn’t a lot more to talk about re: Steve and Nancy. Just a final note about Jonathan and Nancy, which again, has already been discussed by many other people, but it’s worth bringing up here, because it does have to do with Steve and Nancy in the end. We have proof that it has to do with Steve and Nancy because not only is one of their main topics of conversation Steve, but we have Steve reacting to their reunion.

Not sure if anyone here is a Bellamy x Clarke shipper, but this reminds me a lot of the pan to Clarke during Bellamy and Echo’s reunion in season five of The 100. Which a lot of people tried to write of as not romantic when it’s blatantly romantic in both cases. The difference for Steve is that he has Robin here to give him a comforting pat on the back.

Also, his face here is so similar to when he thought Nancy was going to turn him down after he gave her his whole speech in the Upside down.

Steve assumes he’s lost here. But we know the truth.

All right, so first, we have Jonathan apologizing for not being here (again). And Nancy’s whole fucking journey before she answers him.

The way she can’t really make eye contact, because she knows who was here.

And then we have her face when he brings up Steve?!

Like, she’s trying to laugh it off, but she can’t.

And she stands up for him, because he has grown up and she got to be around that for days and see the person he’s become and…. Damn. It gets so awkward after this.

Nancy’s inhale, like she might have more to say, but she can’t.

To top it off, we get to see them boarding up windows. Nancy holding up the boards and Jonathan hammering in the nails. And hmm, I wonder why that looks familiar. OH RIGHT. Because Steve and Nancy closed off communication in a very similar way back in season two before they officially split. This is veering into like, wild emotional speculation, but you ever think about how Nancy and Steve were putting up all that stuff using duct tape and staples and Jonathan and Nancy are using a hammer and nails. Which one of those is harder to break through?

And like, yeah. I’m saying that’s wild emotional speculation, but it makes sense to me, because… I mean, I can make the argument that Steve and Nancy’s hurdle is much easier to overcome than Jonathan and Nancy’s. Steve and Nancy were never not on the same page, per se. Nancy wasn’t exactly helping him plan a future that was aligned with hers and we know after this season that he wanted that. But their real problem was that Steve was too scared. Too scared to tell her he wanted a future with her and too scared to help her get revenge for Barb, so she retreated to the safety of someone who would. But the thing that’s hanging over Jonathan and Nancy is worse. Not only has he been planning a future with her that he doesn’t see himself in, but he hasn’t been following through. And he’s been lying about it. And she’s lying, too. He asks if she’s okay and she says they’re fine in a very (not) believable lying voice. He’s admitted to a friend that he’s slow-motion breaking up with Nancy. She’s admitted to a friend that she knows he’s hiding something and she doesn’t know where they stand. And unlike Steve and Nancy in season two, they let this stay unsolved at the end of the season.

Really, it does all come down to that future thing, doesn’t it? Jonathan doesn’t see one where they aren’t both miserable. Jonathan’s dream is NYU. It has been since he was six. He can’t tell Nancy that he doesn’t want to be part of her dream to go to Emerson, because he’s scared. Their relationship was supposedly built on shared trauma and connection, but a lot of that is lost now. The entire fucking group has shared trauma at this point. And Jonathan got Will back. Nancy never got her friend back. And now that Steve has evolved into a person who is an incredibly willing partner, who says that the most important part of his dream future is her… I mean….

Nancy: I feel like life keeps throwing things in the way of our big plans. Jonathan: Yeah, it sure seems like that.

Remember that thing I said like 10k words ago about how Steve is always going to be in the way of their relationship? If you pushed me, I might be convinced that Steve and Nancy were endgame since the moment they decided to keep his character around and kill him off. But my original thesis has its merits, too, so I’ll stick with it for now.

Well. Here we are at the end. It’s not looking good, guys. I mean, not for them. We, however, are looking at a very promising setup for season five. I suppose I could see a world where they decide to fix Nancy and Jonathan’s issues, but if they’re going to do that, there’s literally no point to all this setup in season four. I wish I were exaggerating, but what else is the point of bringing all of this up again?

I suppose that in a good paper, I would circle back to my original point, which is that the writers changed their minds about Nancy’s endgame relationship in season two and decided that Steve would be a better ending for her after all. And they did it to themselves. As I said multiple times, they built him into the perfect partner for Nancy. The person that she wanted from the start. And I know I’m talking a lot about what Nancy wants out of their relationship, but that’s because she’s the one who didn’t know what she wanted. Steve always has. He says exactly that. He wants Nancy and that’s it. He just needed to get to a place in life where she could see that future that he wants. And they’re there. And we’re stuck here waiting to see if they end up on the beach with a couple kids ten years down the road.

I think it’s looking pretty promising, but I guess I did just write 18.5k words on this, so if I didn’t, that would be weird.

If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed my unhinged thought process and that we get some fun resolution to the unresolved threads that are left behind within the next year or so.

I don’t know how to end things.

But neither do Steve and Nancy.

Boom, roasted.

The end.

#stancy #steve x nancy #stranger things #i think my tag for this is #minor meta and wild emotional speculation #also just for good measure in case anyone thinks i'm being mean #anti jancy

369 notes · View notes

riewritten · 10 months

Text

𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄

˚ · .─𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. johan liebert, nina fortner, kenzou tenma

˚ · .─𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬. 2.3k | READ ON AO3

˚ · .─𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬. found family, hurt/comfort, sibling love, trust issues, tldr: it was tenma who found the twins at the border, not general wolff

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a nameless monster. The monster was dying to have a name and thus decided to embark on a journey to look for one. But the world was such a vast place. The monster split in two and went on separate journeys. One went east, while the other headed west.

Johan was sure it was precisely what he was, precisely what Nina was. The one who went east was him. The one who headed west was her. But then, in the storybook, the arrangement was agreed upon between the nameless monsters. It was voluntary on their end. It was something they collectively decided in pursuit of finding names.

Only now did Johan realize a lapse in his judgment.

Johan and Nina heading in two opposite directions were never voluntary; if circumstances may, they stick to one another like glue. A tight glue, perhaps. Bound together. Inseparable. Because Nina is him, and Johan is her. All be damned if anyone or anything ever dares to separate them.

He had seen himself and Nina in the same manner. They were monsters who bore no names. It was just that rainy night when Nina voluntarily decided to head somewhere Johan would never go—an opposite path where she's rightfully suited. Only then did he realize that the monster all along was someone outside. The monster was the one who separated them for the very first time. And then the one who made Nina cry, then the couple who agreed on giving them to the police, until it became him—when he scared Nina with his gun.

Wait, a gun?

Johan’s eyes fluttered open. The storybook with reeking blood is now out of his vision. It’s replaced with a white ceiling, the smell of flowers from the air freshener, and Nina’s worried eyes. He just woke up. The young kid immediately sat up in alarm. He slept. He slept. He slept in a stranger’s room. He left Nina awake in that stranger’s room. Since when did his small stature start to lower his guard?

“Finally, you’re awake,” the raven-haired stranger smiled. He looked at the worried Nina lying beside him. Johan almost asked why, but for strange reasons, Nina could sense he was having a nightmare despite how silently he slept. There’s no use trying to root it.

“Gun…” the young blonde mumbled.

“Gun?” his twin sister repeated.

“Gun?! Where?” the adult exclaimed in alarm.

Johan had never held a gun. At least not yet. He had only used knives to slash the necks of the couple who almost gave them to the police. He would use a gun if he could, but only knives were there.

Then he and Nina walked. They walked and walked and walked on a land far away. It was as though they were the only two people in the world. And they had no names. Johan was sure they would die. A part of him was relieved. Only to wake up at somebody’s home. The stranger introduced himself as Tenma. He is a former doctor in a hospital Johan couldn’t pronounce, and he said he plans to travel around Germany before returning to his homeland—at least until he came upon their unconscious figures.

It’s been two weeks since Tenma took them in. Johan pondered silently to recall those two weeks, perhaps an attempt to recollect himself from the strange nightmare.

In the first few days, Tenma was asking for their names. It garnered no response, just the same silence from the couple who took them in. As far as Johan could remember, Tenma asked for it three times.

“So, if you don’t like to tell me, would you rather choose names for yourselves instead?”

Only when he restructured his question that the two react, Johan was intrigued while Nina tried to hide her excitement. Tenma looked confused. Is it the first time they will ever have names? The question etched his features. Johan didn’t point it out. Not that he cares enough to point it out.

Tenma searched thoroughly for suitable names. According to his observation, the twin sister would suit a name that holds the meaning of grace. Not only does she have a charming and pleasing personality amidst her silence, but she also seems to be his brother's saving grace.

Why? Johan’s confusion made Tenma chuckle, albeit sheepishly. The question is silent but still apparent. How did my sister become my saving grace?

Tenma admitted the lack of rational answers to simplify to a very young boy. Instead, he recounted the time Johan finally woke up after a week-long unconsciousness. “You only bothered to open your eyes after hearing your sister cry. It was as if you had no plans to wake up anymore until you heard her voice. You decided to live because she’s still alive, no?”

“Really?” Nina looked at him, anticipating to hear the answer.

Just as expected, Johan didn’t respond. That’s not something he could comprehend. If anything, it could also be a standing question for him, too. Did the monster really choose to live because his other half is still alive?

Tenma cut the silence off by laying down the papers containing names. “That being said, you go first, little girl.”

Grace. Nina. Hannah. Jane. Anna.

Nina’s hands contemplated two papers — Nina and Anna. She mumbled the two pair of names, perhaps checking which sounded more beautiful or easier to pronounce. Tenma and Johan weren’t sure, but since Nina was taking too much time, the older man just laid down the names Johan could choose from.

Estmund. Hulbert. Ian. Johan. Ivan.

Tenma was unsure if Johan was also conflicted about choosing or if he just didn’t care about this activity. His face was just blank on the papers. One word and Tenma would be offended.

“If you’re interested, I can explain the meaning of the names.”

The twin sister nodded gleefully, “What do Nina and Anna mean?”

“Uh, well, Nina means god is gracious. This might be fun to know, but Nina holds the same meaning as Johan. Anna, however, is—”

Tenma was cut off again when the twins abruptly grabbed the respective papers, Nina for the girl and Johan for the boy. Tenma almost laughed out loud at the swift and precise action.

“It’s decided now, eh? Johan and Nina, how beautiful!”

Johan did not care about the activity, he really didn’t, but something in him awakened. Johan. Johan. Johan. The name of the monster—this reason would consume his mind if not for the doctor’s gesture. But now, Johan’s choice now reverberates on a much lighter note.

It’s because it holds the same meaning as Nina’s chosen name.

Tenma jumped onto the following vital questions as the name was all resolved. He asked Nina and Johan if they have parents, which, again, gained no response. He repeated the question for the next few days, albeit still futile. When night came, Tenma changed the structure of his inquiry.

“Would you mind if we go to the authori—” only for him to cut his statement short, perhaps in alarm, due to the sudden change of air inside the room.

It was suddenly filled with dread, with anger, with warning even. It was as though the air begged Tenma not to dare continue his suggestion. His eyes lurked to where the dread reeks, and he eventually realized it was coming from Johan. The tiny blonde glared at him, and it didn’t take the doctor’s astuteness to recognize that going to the authorities was out of the question. At first, he thought that maybe the proposition could sit. Perhaps he’d just bring it up again once the twins fully recuperate. However, there was something in Johan’s reaction that retracted his effort. Johan is not someone to react so strongly. He’s almost unnoticeable if not for his very visible ray of sunshine twin sister. There must be a reason for a kid as detached as him to respond so gravely to a suggestion he hadn’t even finished yet.

He observed Nina’s reaction next. She was shaking in fear, contrary to Johan’s disdain. It seems like he had hit a bullet there. Now the twins are up on their guard again. It was as if the walls they put down while choosing their names had risen up high again. Tenma was not sure how to respond until he realized that he had to take priority over one thing at a time. Nothing would matter but letting the twins realize they’re in a safe space as of the moment.

If the authorities are not a safe space, then Tenma would think of other methods.

“I wouldn’t bring both of you to them if you don’t want to,” Tenma assured the twins, “but I have to know why, you hear me?”

“Monster.”

What? Tenma raised his eyebrows at the young boy. Is he calling him a monster?

“We’re running away from a monster.”

Oh. Tenma appreciated the boy for articulating it the best way he could. The metaphor wouldn’t be too complex for him to construe. “Does the monster work alongside authorities?” Johan didn’t answer, so Tenma pressed. “I have to understand why, Johan.”

“Aren’t all adults considered authorities?”

Tenma halted. He had a point, but beyond that, so many questions inside him were answered, too. Where did they come from? Why were they so delighted at choosing names as if someone had never given them before? Who takes care of them? And whoever they were, why would they leave these two beautiful kids to die at the border? When Tenma spotted them, despite being unconscious, they held tight to each other. It was as if they were utterly terrified to be separated even at the brink of death. It was a silent plea, even, that if they were to die, so long as their corpse would remain together, they would mind nothing else.

Oh, poor, poor children. Tenma almost felt like crying.

Whoever they are, Johan and Nina might be better off without them.

And considering that the monster they’re talking about might be connected to actual authorities, Tenma couldn’t risk harming the two. He’s a mere migrant. Someone like him would stand no chance against a local—let alone a person of authority.

“No, not all adults are considered authorities. The one I’m on is the police. But then, if bringing both of you to them would be the same as bringing you to the monster, then we can’t risk it, yeah?”

Nina’s face slowly calmed down. Johan’s was etched with confusion, perhaps surprise.

This is the first time someone has understood. Not even that, but the doctor agreed with no qualms.

Tenma smiled, “No monsters are allowed in my vicinity. That’s what I’m sure of.”

“Why?” Nina’s voice cracked. Tenma felt bad for almost making her cry.

“You’ve chosen Nina because it holds the same meaning as Johan, right?”

Nina nodded.

“Well, then it would be safe to assume that you did it so you wouldn’t be separated from him, yeah?”

Nina nodded.

“Then anyone who’d try to separate you again would be damned!” Tenma flashed his fists with a mighty smile, perhaps to make the atmosphere lighter or to brush away his tears without the kids noticing. “I’ll tell them, ‘You’re in a place where the twins graced by god had chosen their names! Any monster who’d dare harm them would suffer eternal perish!’” Tenma’s change of voice—one akin to superheroes in movies—made Nina chortle. Tenma was glad Nina was easily amused. Now all he’d worry for is Johan. He turned to the boy and patted his head. “No need to worry. You’re not the only one who’d protect your sister. Not anymore.”

Johan stayed in his seat, albeit hiding the crack in his composure. The poor boy doesn’t know what to feel. Everything feels foreign to him. It’s in disarray. It’s as if one move and he’d lose himself. He thought that perhaps the doctor’s astuteness saved him from the same fate the couple from the border had faced, but deep inside him, deep inside this poor, poor boy, he knew that it wasn’t as simple as Tenma’s sharpness. It was something beyond that, something his little mind couldn’t name yet. Even if Johan’s trust isn’t something to be gained overnight, he’s scared that come what may, Tenma would be able to break him the same way their mother did.

Johan finally finished his ponders.

So, that’s the reason why he fell asleep. He let Nina in the company of someone without his consciousness.

Johan almost groaned. Since the doctor took them in, Johan is on the constant edge of losing himself. He’s having nightmares. His temperament is getting a bit too hard to hide. His constant disdain for the world is gaining the attention of his sister. It wasn’t this hard to be flat before. It wasn’t this hard to conceal his vulnerability. Tenma is doing something to him.

Nina leans her head on Johan’s lap with a smile of assurance, “No guns here!”

Tenma realized it, too, so he heaved a sigh. A chuckle followed suit, “Yeah, no guns. Stop scaring us, Johan.”

Johan closed his eyes and fixated on caressing Nina’s hair.

No guns. No guns.

He had never held a gun. A time may come that he’d have to, but not right now. Perhaps it was something he’d do as a last resort because the dream said that his holding a gun would make Nina go opposite ways from him.

He doesn’t want to go opposite ways from his other half. Not again.

Not when they already have their names.

CONTINUATION but in the form of fan comic (my goofy ahh is too lazy to draw this. drawing is hard.)

y'know, i was planning to give nina her original name "anna" but when i discovered how nina & johan share the same meanings, i was like—oh man. OH MAN. i can't let that pass.

also, i've made a johan liebert x reader fanfiction (just in case you read this kind of stuff too ^^)

#nina fortner #johan liebert #anna liebert #monster anime #monster manga #naoki urasawa's monster #naoki urasawa monster #kenzo tenma #tenma kenzo #monster #monster fanfiction #johan liebert fanfiction #nina fortner fanficiton #anna liebert fanfiction #johan liebert fanfic #monster imagines #tenma kenzo fanfiction #liebert twins #johan and anna

52 notes · View notes

pascaloverx · 5 months

Text

Hit The Road

Chapter Eight

previous chapter next chapter

Summary: You are a hunter of supernatural beings who is forced to experience a new reality: being a vampire. The only thing stronger than your thirst for blood is your thirst for revenge.

Author's note: The characters mentioned here were created by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec, based on the book series of the same name by author L. J. Smith. They don't belong to me. That said, this fanfic will be short. This fanfic may address scenes of violence, inappropriate language and adult content. Minors should not interact with this story. Also some information here is not in the order of the series or the same way it happened in the tv series. I'm changing some things to fit the fanfic story. Hope you like it!

You wake up scared as if you had a nightmare, a soft scream of horror escapes you. You analyze the room you are in, recognizing it as Damon's room. Not seeing him makes you afraid. Did he die while you were fighting to survive? Or maybe you're hallucinating...

"I thought you wouldn't wake up so early. It's strange for a vampire to spend two days unconscious." You hear Stefan's voice as clearly as day. You are extremely happy to see him. Without having much strength, you get up staggering and go to hug Stefan.

"I'm so relieved to be here. I thought I died, I actually thought we both died. Please make sure no one died." You speak with a weak tone in your voice almost like you couldn't find strength to talk.

"No one died Y/N. But you could have died thanks to your stubbornness. If Damon and I hadn't run here and found Caroline with Klaus' blood..." Stefan seems more stressed than usual when he face the reality of your actions. You look at him tenderly and give him a peck on the lips. You want to make it clear that you are grateful for everything and that you are sorry.

"Where is your brother?" You ask, still in Stefan's arms. He seems apprehensive but after a sigh he answers you.

"With Elena, she hasn't left his side since we arrived. After we saved you, Damon finally felt the consequences of the werewolve's torture." Stefan says as he hugs you even tighter. It seems like he knows you're feeling slightly uncomfortable about Elena being with Damon.

"You know that I can't demand any type of monogamous relationship from your brother, right? You don't need to be afraid to tell me that he's with someone." You say trying to stay strong both physically and psychologically. Feelings really are a great weakness.

"You don't need to deceive me, Y/N. I can feel your discomfort from here." Stefan speaks as if you were obvious to him. A puzzle that he has already solved and is used to.

"Now I know why we were in a secret relationship. You're sexy when you think you know something." You say, kissing Stefan right after.

"Sex will not solve our problems. As much as I want to, I don't think it's right for us to do this. Before I thought you were a stranger and now I know that even though I don't remember, I love you." When the words finish coming out of Stefan's mouth, you understand the burden of having returned to the Salvatore's lives.

"I love you too, even if I don't remember it. I would still like to sleep with you today." You speak sincerely looking at Stefan with a needy expression.

Stefan is silent for a while as you reflect on how comfortable you feel with him. Does Stefan know that he is like home to you? Cozy and comfortable, a place you want to belong. You observe him and decide to try to make him stop rationalizing what he is doing.You start by lifting your feet and kissing Stefan's forehead, then kissing his cheeks lightly, kissing near his eyelids. You kiss both sides of the neck softly, as if wanting to show your desire for someone. As soon as you feel Stefan is receptive, you kiss his lips firmly. He returns the kiss, increasing the intensity with which your mouths and his are intertwined.

"Am I interrupting something?" Elena speaks in an extremely serious tone entering Stefan's room. Did she not learn during her life that knocking on the door is the correct thing to do when you're entering someone's else room?

"Yes, you should use good manners and knock on the door before entering. It's okay that you've seen Stefan naked but I could be in a much more compromising situation." You speak being as direct as possible. She had to interrupt her moment with Stefan right when you were almost convincing him to sleep with you.

"Did something happen to Damon?" Stefan says, composing himself, and looking at the two of you.

"He's already much better, I was just going to let him know that I'm going home to take a shower and probably will come back later. Even during Damon's sleep, he kept calling a name. Y/N, to be exact. Maybe you guys should check on him." Elena says a little desapointed, and you somehow understand her. It must be difficult to see that you are no longer the only woman in the lives of the two men she loves. She left quickly after saying that to you and Stefan.

"Let me go see your brother and you can take a shower to calm down. Maybe another time we'll finish what we started here." You say pointing to Stefan's visibly aroused dick. He is embarrassed, but kisses the corner of your mouth. It's almost as if we communicate through looks. Then you head towards Damon's room.

"I heard you need a babysitter until your girlfriend gets back. I hope you don't mind me coming, but after all I'm your wife. I'm supposed to take care of my husband." Do you speak as soon as he enters Damon's room, seeing him half naked trying to find clothes to put on.

"You used to hate it when I called you wife. But I'm fine, don't worry. You should be resting." Damon speaks disinterestedly, as if he doesn't want to talk to you or look at you.

"Did I do something that pissed you off or is there at least a reason why you're avoiding looking at me?" You ask with a little anger on your tone of voice.

"You were irresponsible in putting your life at risk for me. You could have died thanks to your stupidity." Damon speaks completely out of character. You smile without believing the words he is saying.

"If I hadn't choose to go with Stefan, you wouldn't be here, but your ungratefulness is beyond realizing that, right? You question him, looking him in the face. Your fingers are slightly directed close to Damon's bare chest.

"Next time, choose yourself. That's what I would have done." Damon speaks rudely.

"Are you saying you wouldn't try to save me if it could mean your death?" You question, directly getting upset.

"Without even thinking twice." He responds so sharply and directly that you don't even notice when you slap him across the face. There is a limit to how far you can go and Damon has surpassed it. This bastard. It doesn't even take you long to leave the room crying.

#the vampire diaries #spotify #damon x reader #damon salvatore fanfiction #damon salvatore x reader #damon salvatore #stefan x reader #stefan salvatore fanfiction #stefan salvatore x reader #tvd angst #tvd smut #tvd fanfiction #tvd #Spotify

24 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

it-development-company

Untitled

poetrytellingthestoryofmylife

Poetry of my life

girlythinxxx

sam

manipular

Modern Ecstasy

alicebeckstrom

KatyChamberChorus