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gavi4me · 6 months

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Jude’s birthday

Warnings - smut, Dom! Jude, sub reader, degradation, slight chocking, cursing. (Might be more but all I can think of rn )

Slight angst, fluff, & smut

“You’re being ridiculous!” Jude yelled from the stairs as you ran off to your room with tears in your eyes. You slammed the door shut, mascara surely making you look like a panda at that moment. You grabbed his gift you bought him and went over to your desk, grabbing scissors, promptly cutting the gifts fabric and spitting on them. It was Jude’s birthday. Everything had to go perfect. But he had to ruin it. You wanted to do something special. You decided to rent out a London club to host a party for him. Everyone would be there, including his closest friends.(no invitation for the parents bc you actually wanted to have fun) you wanted to make a good impression while still looking sexy. You wore a small sequence top with a couple different colors and a short skirt to match it, making your chest look delicious. Jude apparently didn’t like how skimpy the dress was tell you that you looked like a whore basically asking for men to approach you. You were mad that he called you a whore over a dress. He was the one with a bunch of sexy woman (or girls😔) at his feet. Shouldn’t you be the angry one?

(The dress is at the top)

That night instead of celebrating at the club and having fun, you were in your biggest hoodie that wasn’t Jude’s while watching the notebook, crying hard.

Jude on the other hand had gone to the party, not really caring if you were upset. He had drank a lot that night, dancing around, being the funny drunk Jude he was.

You finally built the courage to talk to Jude, possibly even apologize. You hadn’t realized he left the house though. You searched the entire premise, deciding to finally call him.

No answer

Where could he be?

“Happy birthday to Judy boy! Happy birthday day to you!”

Jude sat around a large, 8 tiered cake ordered by you, surrounded by his closest friends, brother, and a few other plus-ones but something in him didn’t feel right. He had this weird feeling in his stomach. Guilt maybe?

He had put his phone on silent for whatever reason and didn’t realize the many calls and messages left by you.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up!” You yelled at your phone, starting to feel enraged.

“Please leave your message for 20-“

“FUCK!” you yelled, throwing your phone as hard as you could on to the couch like an iPad kid does when they fall in tower of hell, starting to get angry again.

You finally decided to give up on calling him, assuming he was at a bar drinking.

You went on to instagram to procrastinate, but instead you saw on one of Jude’s close friends stories and photo of Jude holding a beer bottle, seemingly drunk at the club YOU rented. Everyone was there, except you. Now you were pissed, feeling all sorts of ways. Sad, angry, frustrated, the list can go on and on.

Jude gave no shits about you. He never cared if you were there. If you stopped texting, would he realize? Or did he not care that much.

Jude was on his uncountable glass of beer, unable to walk. Everyone was leaving as it was nearing 1 am.

“Fuck Jude. How will you get home? I’m taking a taxi.” One of Jude’s friends said. Jude wasn’t listening though. He was sitting on a barstool, ‘on the radar’ by Drake & central cee playing in the background, to wasted to understand words.

It was only Jude and 3 of his close friends. Everyone else had left or were hooking up in the bathroom.

“Just text his girl. We are all too intoxicated to drive.” One of his friends suggested.

Jude shook his head hard knowing you were still very much mad at him.

“Yeah let’s do that.” The other said not looking at Jude.

They took Jude’s phone, calling you.

You were in the shower crying to ‘someone you loved’ by Lewis capaldi. (Istg this song makes me cry so hard - especially the music video. Recommend)

“I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved” you sang/cried (either fits in).

When the song ended you stepped out of the shower, grabbing your towel, leaving a little trail of your wet footsteps to the bedroom.

-ring ring ring-

Someone was calling you.

*incoming call*

Jude Bellingham

What did he want? As if you wanted to know.

You went back in fourth on whether you should pick up or decline. In the end you picked up, truly wondering why he had the nerve of calling you.

“-hello?” You said

“Hey Jude’s like really drunk and we are all taking cabs. Can you come pick him up?”

“Can’t someone call him a cab?” You asked annoyed that they were calling you to help Jude, the man who didn’t seem to care about you.

“Well-no……”

You sighed in annoyance. You really hated Jude’s friends sometimes.

“I’ll be there in 15”

“Perfect. We’ll be gone by then but there is a bartender still watching him.”

You hung up without another word, rethinking what you had just agreed to.

You took a deep breathe before opening the door. How drunk was Jude? As Jude’s friends promised, jude was the only one in there except for a bartender who was wiping down some tables. He seemed to be starring into the abyss out on a stool.

“Jude” you said with an annoying tone.

“Y/n?” He said looking up. “What are you doing here” he said starting to smile almost forgetting everything that happened earlier. He came in for a hug but you grabbed his hand harshly and walked to your car.

“Someone’s in a bad mood.” He said as you made him sit in your car, buckling him up as well.

“Well I wouldn’t be mad if you hadn’t gone to the party I organized without me over a stupid skirt your jealous ass couldn’t handle other men to see me in.” You said slamming the door.

“Are you being serious right now?” He asked looking at you with red eyes and a strong alcohol stench in his breath. “That skirt was far too short. I can just imagine any guy eye fucking you.”

“Jude! I picked your drunk ass up from a club and you’re still mad about my skirt? I should be the one who’s angry right now if anything.” You started the car and drove off

“Look I’m really sorry bebé but I don’t like when what’s mine is shown to other people.”

You sat there silent, still trying to focus on the road rather than hear Jude’s lame drunk apology.

“Are you not going to respond?”

No response.

“Fine. I’ll take matters into my own hand.”

He slid his hand down to your knee, moving it up slowly and gently.

Your breathing became faster, trying to not let a moan escape your mouth as he started to cup you through your shorts.

“I might not be able to give you a proper apology while I’m drunk but I know some other ways can.” He said as a smirk formed on his lips.

“Jude, no matter what we do tonight, I’m still mad at you.” You half moaned, pulling into your apartments small parking lot.

When parked, you unbuckled your seatbelt to straddle Jude, promptly attacking his lips. This boy made you so fucking horny.

“Aww look whose running back to me now.” Jude said in between kisses. “You can’t love without my cock.”

“Let’s go inside.” He said before promptly picking you up bridal style, your arm around his neck for extra support while kissing his neck.

(Pretend the alcohol wore off)

When you entered the house he walked to the bedroom and placed you down gently before starting to unbutton his shirt.

“Strip.” He spoke after a second of unbuttoning his shirt.

“How bout no. I’ll strip when I want.” You said sitting up, getting ready to go to the bathroom but Jude came down on you at an instant. Hand around throat as the other was caging you down to the bed.

“I said strip, it wasn’t a question. You want to wear a skirt that shows your ass to everyone in sight and get all upset and angry when i say for you to change, but when I finally tell you to act like a slut you decide to not? I’m gonna go into that bathroom for 1 minute. If you are not stripped by the time I come out, you’ll get it.”. His hand left your throat and he left.

You tried catching your breath though it hadn’t been that tight of a squeeze, you had been holding your breath.

After a few seconds you realized Jude was gonna come out any time now and not wanting to see what “it” was, you started to strip.

You were still taking off your underwear when Jude came out and when he saw, he looked annoyed.

“Did you not hear what I said?” He asked coming over with a furious stomp, pushing you onto the bed again and trapping you. “I said to take your clothes off before I came out and look at you, still taking off your panties. I want you to learn a lesson tonight. That pussy is mine, no one else’s. Got it?”

All you could do was nod before you felt him turn you over.

“What a little whore. You want to show off your ass to every guy at the club but not me. What am I gonna do with you.”

You felt him pull your underwear down to your ankles before repositioning himself.

You felt a harsh smack land on your ass. A little whimper escaped.

“You’ve been so rude to me recently. I don’t think you deserve my cock.” Jude said spanking your ass again.

“I’m so-SORRY” you tried to speak but every time you tried to finish your sentence, Jude would give another spank.

“Finish” he murmured.

“I’m sorry JUDE. I-I promise to BEHAVE b-better.”

“Not good enough.” With that he picked you up almost effortlessly and made you sit on your knees on the floor of the bedroom.

He started to unbuckle his belt, pulling his boxers down after.

“Show me your sorry.”

You looked up at him with innocent eyes knowing that always got him a little less rough.

You took his tip into your mouth and started to like from the head down to the base. You went back up and again, licking the tip, still looking at Jude with big, innocent eyes.

After a few seconds of this, Jude got impatient so he out of no where thrusted into your mouth.

You started to gag at the feeling of Jude’s member touching the back of your throat. You took your mouth out and started to cough as you tried to catch your breathe. Not even a second later, Jude grabbed your hair and lifted you up.

“Who told you to stop? HUH?”

“N-n-no one.” You whispered not looking him in the eye anymore.

“Then why’d you’d stop? I thought you were sorry for what you did.”

You didn’t respond, head facing towards the dresser.

“Look what me when I talk.” He grabbed your jawline, forcefully moved your head to his direction.

“Why’d you stop? WHYD YOU STOP” he yelled.

“I-I’m sorry Jude. It won’t happen again.”

“Good girl. Now get back to it.” He dropped you and you almost immediately took him in. He held your hair into a ponytail, bobbing your head up and down.

“G-good gi-irl.” He said, holding your head where you he was deep down your throat.

You were gagging the whole time, which Jude always loved.

After a couple more rounds of this he pulled out of your mouth out and set you down on the bed again, this time on your back.

He started leaving hickeys from your jaw all the way down to your inner thighs, leaving a trail.

Jude got onto his knees at the end as he pulled your legs closer to the edge of the bed so he could get an easier entrance to you.

He kissed from your foot to your inner thigh before kissing your clit.

“Is this where you need me?” He asked as his thumb started to circle your clit, your back arching off the bed.

“Y-y-yes.” You yelled out, not wanting to wait another minute.

He started on your clit, sucking harshly then moving down and repeating on other places.

“J-j-ude I feel s-so g-good-“

You loved the feeling of his tongue going in and out of your hole, sucking up all the wetness he had caused.

A few more seconds of this and you were about to cum, feeling the tight sensation in your stomach again.

“J-JUDE I’m abou-“ Jude removed his tongue suddenly, making a move to spread your legs.

“W-why’d you stop?”

“Shut up..”

He took his dick into his hand, giving it a few strokes before moving it over your folds.

You whined at his teasing, wanting any form of friction to curse your throbbing pussy.

“Do you think you deserve my cock?”

You nodded desperately, kissing his neck knowing how much loves them.

“Words”

“Yes p- please.” You said while moving your arms around his neck to pull him down. Before you could kiss him he grabbed both arms and pinned them above your head.

“Don’t fucking touch me. Be patient. Don’t be an impatient brat on top of being a slut.” He said before suddenly slamming into you.

You gasped loudly at the feeling of him moving in and out almost instantly, not caring if had adjusted to his size or not.

“J-j-Jude” you moaned out quietly, not wanting to disrupt the neighbors as it was now nearing 3.

“Don’t hold back your moans. I want hear how good I make you feel.”

The only sounds heard throughout the room was the skin-to-skin noise of Jude’s abdomen bouncing off your ass, moaning, and heavy deep breathes.

“Keep doing that…G-god you’re so fucking tight.” He said speeding up, your breasts bouncing even more making Jude lick his lips before nibbling on one of the nipple and the other in between his fingers, toying and squeezing it.

“I-im gonna c-cum…” you announced, feeling the tightness in your stomach build up.

“Whose pussy is that?” Jude asked slowing down, almost at a complete stop.

“Y-yours..”

“Whose?”

“JUDE BELLINGHAMS” You yelled out, just wanting to cum.

Jude suddenly pulled out fully, turning you over so you were on fours. Not wasting another second, he entered, regaining the previous speed if not faster.

“Good girl….”

Your arms gave out so you rested your head on the bed as he kept pounding into you mercilessly.

A string of moans left your mouth as you reached your high. You loved when Jude got all angry and best of all his drunk sex, though it sounds bad, you loved when the sex had a little or sometimes big kick to it.

After around half a minute of Jude continuously pounding into you without a break, you started to feel overstimulated.

“Jude it’s t-too m-much..” you murmured, afraid he’ll get angry again. “P-please p-p-pull ou-t”

“I’m not stopping until I cum baby girl” Jude said slowing down a bit, loving when you begged him for something.

You whined at his response, just wanting for him to finish.

A couple seconds later he finished and pulled out fully. You laid against the bed in child pose as Jude went in the bathroom to start a shower.

He came a minute later and picked you up, walking towards the shower.

You were half asleep, legs had given out by that point so Jude was just carrying you while under the stream. He set you on the shower bench and started to wash your hair, careful to not disturb you.

After the shower he dried you both down, grabbing some clothes from the big closet to help you change.

Once everything was ticked off, he laid down next to you in the bed to cuddle.

“Mmmm Jude….” You muffled under your breath.

“I’m here baby girl.” He said kissing your forehead. “You did so good….”

A/n

This felt so weird to write tbh as I usually only write pedri and gavi smuts. I guess that changed today. Had a little inspiration from these smuts : black satin & after hours You should go follow them if you don’t already because they have some great work. Anyways, I’m quite new to tumblr so just bare with me if I’m quite slow at doing stuff 😅

#jude bellingham #sub!reader #light angst #fluff #smut #d0m/sub #birthday #degredation kink #degrading tw #chocking

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atinylittlepain · 6 months

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Chapter Six

no-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!oc

series masterlist

series playlist

warnings: 18+ heavy angst, references to past injury related to DV

a/n: so we are in for another heavy sitting. as always, my goal is always truth, nothing gratuitous, but honest. my DMs are always open, I'd love to hear what you're thinking about this one.

..........................................

Step into the light poor Lazarus

Don't lie alone behind the window shade

Let me see the mark death made

I dream a highway back to you

I dream a highway - Gillian Welch

.........................................

Where does the thaw begin? It is always gradual. Always give and take. Taking tentative, preening steps out into the sun one day, only to be snapped back into place by a sudden snarl of cold the next. But eventually, that perpetual dull thrum of white starts to melt. The streams in the mountains swirl and slurry up with it, a froth of life that churns down into the rivers that run a faint thread along the highway. Boulders will be moved, small trees uprooted, a whole new season breeding activity. The landscape rearranged, reconfigured until eventually, settling, eventually, green.

The flock is certainly happy for it, proud and relieved bleats, their heads tossed back in the clear, cool morning air. The two newest members of the group are still getting their legs under them, a little uncertain in maneuvering around the remaining slush, quick clipped jumps and jolts to catch up with their mother. And Dove is never far behind these days. Not even Dolores in his mind any more. Dove, Dovey, Dovey-girl whenever they go down to the bar and she’s beating him or John at darts.

Punch and Judy might like her just as much as they like their mother, necking and nuzzling up against her shins like cats, contented sounds whenever she greets them in the morning. Joel tends to hang back, letting her make her rounds, inarguably the favorite of both flock and feather. A gift, bells of laughter and the bright glint of her smile, even when she catches his eyes from across the field, like maybe it could be for him too. And then he remembers that is it for him too, because she always comes back, always comes to him with her eyes squinting into the sun and her smile slanting with the scrunch of her nose.

“They’re getting bigger everyday.” He thinks to himself that he wishes she wouldn’t remind him. Time has a way of getting parceled and pinched out here. Secret time, stolen time, no one paying much attention to time. How long has it been? Counting months in his mind as they make breakfast. He figures nine by the time they sit down. So much time. Time he has been greedy with. Enough of it that she may no longer need to stay. Or may no longer want to. He winces into his mug, small, sharp hurt that he is all too familiar with. Doubt makes him sulk, makes him slump. But then she always does something like she does right now. Touching just to touch. Something curious about it, like she is still unsure if she is allowed to, like this is not something she has had before now. Careful fingers curling around his wrist from across the table, coaxing his palm up to the ceiling so she can press her hand flat against his. He can feel her pulse where the pads of his fingers rest against the soft inside of her wrist, steady, with the occasional stutter.

“Do you want to go tonight?”

“If you do, yes.” Who says what, it doesn’t matter. Call and response goes both ways for them. If you do, then I do, and if I do, then you do.

“We don’t have to stay long.” Always giving her an out. She curls her hand around his.

“You just don’t want to lose at darts again.”

“You always win.”

“Don’t be a poor sport about it, I won’t want to play with you any more.”

“Hey.” That smile is for him, no question.

…

It isn’t often that Joel gets anything in the post. There is a mailbox at the end of the dirt road leading to the house. It has a large dent in its side, and has since he bought the place, near impossible to pry open. The mailman’s frustration with it is clear in how the lid is now hanging off its hinges, some sort of envelope, thick and obvious, sticking out of it as they drive home in the afternoon.

“What is it?”

“I’m not sure, I wasn’t expecting anything.” But he knows exactly what it is when he opens it, the knife he used to slice through the top of the padded envelope clattering onto the dining table when he pulls out a thick stack of documents from inside.

On top is a birth certificate. A hospital in Lincoln, Nebraska, and the first name is Dolores. And he shouldn’t, but she’s still toeing out of her shoes and hanging up her coat, so he quickly thumbs through the rest. A packet, and he recognizes what it is immediately. All those years ago, with Sarah’s mom, he got a packet that looked just like this. Divorce papers.

“Joel?” It startles him, and he knows he’s been caught, quietly setting the stack of papers down on the table, not quite able to meet her gaze.

“Those are for you.” He can’t watch, only catching a glimpse of the way her brow pulls down, a slight frown as she pads around the side of the table to get a better look.

“Oh.” She doesn’t pick them up, just drags her hand across them to fan the papers out on the table. And it’s a posture he hasn’t seen from her in a long time, the way she curls her arm back into herself, everything shutting and shuttering up tight and small. No, he can’t watch, but he can’t walk away either, shifting in his boots, his eyes landing on her only to flit away fast. She’s not moving, and he’s not sure if she’s even breathing, it’s that silent, save for the soft creak of the floorboards with his anxious shuffling.

“Do you have a pen?” It takes him a breath to realize that she’s asking him, and then he sets himself into stuttering motion. His hands feel too big, too shaky as he fumbles through the junk drawer in the kitchen, though something has changed in Dove, her shoulders straightened and smoothed out when she takes the pen he offers her. She hunches over the table, squinting through each page, a quick flurry of signatures that he knows she shouldn’t be dashing down so fast. But there’s no stopping her. Rampage and war path all in one, she huffs when she gets to the end of the packet, pinning the whole stack down with the pen and stepping back from the table like she escaped from something just in time.

“When do you want to leave for the bar?” She asks it light as air, a strange rolling back of her shoulders, her eyes settling somewhere just past him, not quite meeting him. He has to gather himself before he answers, stunned, and a little spooked, if he’s being honest.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“What does that mean?” All edge and ice, his stomach lurches quick and awful at this new thing, this very new, very frightening thing that she seems to be doing.

“Nothing, Dove, it doesn’t mean anything. But we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to.”

“Okay.”

Dinner is tight and silent as a fist. Neither of them looking at the other. She pushes the food around her plate, though he’s not sure if any of it actually gets eaten. And he can feel his own frustration mounting, that urge to get just a little big, and a little loud, to tell her no, to put his foot down, to stop whatever this is. But he knows that whatever this is, no matter how mean she makes it look, it is a hurting thing.

So they go to the bar, and he lists at the periphery of the small crowd, making meaningless conversation with Rod about the weather while he keeps the lion’s share of his attention on Dove.

She doesn’t like to drink, not usually. Most of the time, she’ll politely sip down half a beer, promptly handing it to Joel for him to finish. But tonight, she has already lined up three tidily finished bottles on the table next to where she’s playing darts with John, and while everyone else is jovial, enthused and amused by this sudden outgoing shift in her demeanor, all Joel feels is a nervous stutter in his chest.

He watches, quietly and carefully, until he cannot stop himself from stepping in any longer. It’s quick, the way she stumbles back into a table, sending a few bottles rolling over onto the floor before John can hook a steady arm around her shoulders. It’s enough to get Joel moving.

“John, I think it’s time for us to be heading home.”

“John, I think it’s time for us to be heading home.” It’s slurred and stilted, a garish mimicry of his voice that she punctuates with a hiccup and a fragment of a laugh, still slightly swaying from her hold on John’s arm. And when Joel reaches for her, a murmured please, Dove, pain wraps itself around his heart, an awful throb of it, when she jerks her arm away from him, stumbling over her feet and in turn nearly causing John to lose his balance. She is mean like this, he realizes, meanness that he didn’t know she was capable of. A hot scoff and an I’m fine sharp from the back of her throat, steeling herself away from John and holding onto a table to steady her shake. Joel swallows around heat and sickness in his throat watching the broken sigh that curls in her shoulder blades. Not mean, after all, but hurting.

“Yeah, I’d say so. I think Dovey-girl here had a little too much fun tonight.” He knows it’s John’s weak attempt to smooth whatever tension seems to be hissing. Right, fun. Joel tries for what he can of a smile, though it’s more grimace than anything else, quietly coaxing an arm around Dove’s waist, not even sparing John a second glance as he shuffles them out of the bar and into the quick snap of cool night air.

She’s laughing, her head thrown back on her neck, lolled to the side. And it isn’t the laugh he has gotten used to. It’s a bitter thing, an ugly thing, mingling and mixing with that broken rasp of hers. A miracle that he can get her into the car. Usually so tentative with touch, her hands are everywhere, skittering up his chest, tugging in his hair, pulling at his coat, his belt, all while slurring soft iterations of his name. He feels like he’s going to throw up. And maybe it’s a little mean, the way he collects both her wrists in one broad palm and tucks them pointedly in her lap. For a moment she stills, a tremble in her lip that he thinks is threatening tears, but then she tilts her head back in another sharp giggle, distracted enough with her own unraveling that he can shut the passenger-side door and hurry around to his side of the car.

The roads are dark, the mountains the faintest purple shadow in the distance. He rolls all the windows down, hoping that the swift whip of wind might help sober her up. She’s silent in the passenger seat, but he can feel her heavy stare, her cheek dropped down to her shoulder to look at him.

“Joel.” Lilting and long, a little sing-songy call of his name, Jooooel. He doesn’t indulge it with any attention, keeps his eyes focused on the road getting eaten up by headlights in front of them. But she doesn’t abide by that for long. He tries to shake it off at first, jostling his knee like that might make her take her hand away. A quiet don’t, do not, Dove, when her palm starts to skirt higher, curling around his thigh. And it becomes too much so suddenly, so quickly.

“Godfuckingdamnit!”

In a blink, in the time it took for her hand to brush against the in-seam of his jeans, he has driven them off the road and into the soft, new grass on the side of the highway. He has gotten loud, and he has gotten big, shoulders hulking up toward his ears as his eyes flash, frenzied, over to her. And she has gotten small again, pressed back against the passenger-side door, silent and unblinking. He has scared her. But she has scared him as well.

Neither of them say a thing. He allows himself two deep breaths, and then he guides the car back onto the road.

She is still, subdued, and when he finally parks in front of the house, he realizes that she has fallen asleep, her lips parted and her head tilted back. He had hoped that she wouldn’t, but she stirs when he opens the passenger door, an indignant sound in the back of her throat as he unbuckles her seatbelt for her. He moves to take his hand away, but she catches his wrist, a weak hold that he doesn’t resist.

At first, he cannot understand what she’s saying, something mumbled and murmured, her lashes dropped down to her cheeks. She says it once, twice, and it starts to become clearer. You, me, you don’t, me, you don’t want me.

“That’s not true, Dove.” She sighs, running her thumb over his knuckles, her weepy eyes flickering up to his beneath her brow. And it’s terrible, tearing something open inside of him when she tries to lean forward, tries to pull him closer, tries again. Terrible that he has to press a hand to her shoulder to keep her from doing something that she will surely regret. Something he doesn’t know if she would even want, if not for the haze she is in. Maybe the most terrible part of it, actually.

And then that same chorus. You don’t want me, want me, want me, you don’t want me. And he could laugh, and he could cry, because all he has been doing is wanting her, and trying to stop himself from wanting her.

“Not like this.” He says it so quiet, he doesn’t know if she hears it, listing somewhere between consciousness and sleep. If she does, she shows no sign of acknowledging it, just letting out a long string of sighs as he helps her out of the car and into the house.

Her face is tucked into the side of his neck, blowing hot breath against his skin as he makes the awkward stumble up the stairs with her clinging under his arm. He manages to get her shoes off, and her coat, which once was his, but has been hers for a while now. It’s silent, save for her quiet murmurs of protest to any movement, eyes scrunched shut as he coaxes her under the covers. All she offers is one more sigh of his name, like penance or prayer, before she slips back under merciful sleep’s thumb.

Joel doesn’t get into bed with her. He can’t. He knows that he can’t, not right now. So instead, he sits down on the floor with a quiet groan, letting his back rest against the wall across from the bed, his head tipping back, like maybe there might be some sort of answer in the vertical.

There is no answer.

…

The difference between grief and mourning is noun and verb. Grief, the thing, and mourning, what you do with it. Never pretty, never perfect, never graceful, or gracious, any of it.

When Sarah was in middle school she went through a phase of being interested in the paranormal, in death, and what might come after it. Every night, Joel would come home and find her on the couch, watching the same show in which people recounted all their various and supposed hauntings. It had worried him at the time, going to his mother, even to Tommy, asking them if they thought it was strange. It would pass, the advice he received from everyone around him. Being young, it’s natural to wonder if and when the time for all of that to end will come. So when he would come home at night, he would wordlessly join her, somewhere between awake and asleep, half-listening to the television. But now, he remembers something that was said through the thick static of cable. Unfinished business, right, hauntings happen when patterns must be returned to and repeated. Phantom figments playing out all that was left unsaid, undone.

What happened last night had nothing to do with him. He is pretty certain it could have been anyone sitting in the driver’s seat alongside her. All that Dove needed was a willing participant, a captive cast member, to enact a haunting of her own, to close some gap, stitching some snapped thread in her mind. No, nothing to do with him, nothing at all.

At some point, sleep caught him, slumped to the side, a sharp pain in his neck when he wakes up, still seated on the floor. Dove isn’t in bed, a rumple of sheets where she had been laying. He’s too tired for that quick pulse of panic to fan into any real flame, but he does consider it. That maybe this is what leaving looks like.

But no, he stumbles out onto the porch, hurting with how bright it is, no. She is out there with the flock, still in her clothes from last night. He can only see her back with the way she is sitting in the field, spine curled over and into itself.

Shame settles thick and toothsome in his gut, though why he isn’t sure, anxious and awkward in how he comes to stand just in her periphery, letting presence be known, but not needed. She is crying.

“I am so sorry, Joel.” She says it plainly, voice flat and distant. And he isn’t going to say that it’s alright, because they both know that whatever that was, nothing about it was right. Purposeful, but not intended for pain. When cornered, a wounded animal will lash out against anything that moves, innocent or arbiter.

“I know you are, Dove.” When he takes a step closer to her, Avril lets out an indignant bleat from where she is watching a few paces away, part of her flock, a warning that she will do more if she does not like what she sees. Under any other circumstances, Joel would roll his eyes at the animal, ridiculous, but today it keeps him at a distance, sitting down far enough from Dove that he could not reach for her if he tried. And he would like nothing more than to reach for her, to forget what happened last night, to go back to the way things were. A stupid wish, a childish wish, one that cannot be made real.

“I don’t ever want to be like that again.”

“You aren’t like that.” And he means it. That wasn’t her, not the present her. A ghost somewhere inside of her that found its way to the surface, breaking beneath her skin.

“I understand if you want me to leave.”

“I don’t.”

“I was awful to you.” He doesn’t speak at first. Because yes, it was awful. An awful thing that makes him feel sick now even thinking of it. And awful too, that he knows he would forgive her of anything. Already forgiving this.

Punch comes wobbling up to her, taking the laces of her boots in her mouth before snuffling up her leg, nosing under Dove’s palm, intent on affection that she is so willing to give. Maybe they have let these girls get too domestic, a little too comfortable with humans, but he doesn’t care, watching a watery smile try to spread across Dove’s lips as she scratches behind the lamb’s ears.

“How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts, but I deserve it.” No, he thinks, none of this has been deserved. A strange cascade of poison. Cause and terrible effect.

When he reaches for her, Avril abides, plodding away, if not a little indignant. He takes up her hand in his, and though ligament and lines remain limp, she lets him, still not looking at him, but letting him.

“I am so sorry.”

“I know you are.”

…

He takes care of it for her. Seals the packet of paperwork back in the envelope and writes the requisite address on the front, tucks the whole thing in the backseat of the truck. And they move like careful planets, still in orbit, but trying hard not to touch, to linger.

The first thing he does after dropping her off at the diner is go to the post office, though he thinks twice of it. Reopens the envelope in the driver’s seat for the third time now and reads through the whole thing, every condition, every clause. A clean break seems to be the sum of it, nothing glaring to any of it. So he closes the envelope one more time, and posts it back to Nebraska.

It’s a wordless communication, the way she turns in the passenger seat to check for it when he picks her up in the afternoon, settling back when she sees that it is gone. Still smarting, both of them, they move carefully through their usual errands, the grocery and the library, the drugstore for a new bottle of Advil for her.

Her voice has gotten worse over the months, since what happened in November. The word that she uses for it, not what he would call it, worse. Usually the hardest to hear her in the mornings, words cracking into whispers or suddenly stuttering up a pitch. He knows it upsets her, how she will quickly close her mouth mid-thought, lips pressed in a thin line like she couldn’t stand for any more of that sound to come out. He brought up the idea of taking her to see a doctor in Denver once, and she had scoffed, the whites of her eyes showing with their roll because no insurance, and what money she has, set aside for a different problem entirely. She hadn’t let him even begin to say that he would help her cover it.

Today, it is particularly bad. Not in how it sounds, at least not to him, but in how it is clearly painful for her to speak, wincing around the few things she does say, the menial mundane things of errands, clearing her throat in between each response, a hand curled and hovering over the front of her neck, not touching, but sensing something that has seemed to change permanently.

Maybe the alcohol, he thinks, the abrasive slip of it down her throat. Or maybe the fact of loud, the loudest he had ever heard her, those clipped laughs. Maybe a combination of the two. Whatever it is, he can see her frustration mounting with it, until finally, she sits with a terse crease in her brow and her lips kept in a stoic pinch on the drive back home. Betrayed by her own voice, in more ways than one.

The only thing she does say, once the groceries are put away and Joel is preparing to help her make dinner, a rattling rasp, I’ll do it. A wave of her hands, away and behind her, and he won’t argue, worried she might cry if she has to speak any more.

Disappointed that it’s him and not her doing the evening rounds, the sheep are at best tolerant of his care, keeping a dignified distance as he fills their water troughs and checks on the lambs. The chickens are less loyal, and more stupid, he thinks to himself, but even they seem a bit jaded when he is the one that shuts the coop for the night.

The house is warm when he comes back inside, windows spilling syrup into the oncoming night. It smells good, salt and savor, something simmering on the stove. A strange contrast, the inherent life that a kitchen suggests, and the solemn way she is moving around it. Recompense, remorse, heavy things pulling at her shoulders, curling her smaller over pots and pans.

“This looks good, Dove, thank you.” She nods, passing him a full plate, warmth seeping into his palms from the bottom of it. But when they both sit down, he recognizes it immediately, so many steps back. Her hands are in her lap, and he already knows that she’s waiting for him to start. Doing that thing again, and he can do it too. Fork and knife remain untouched, he sits back in his chair, a small challenge. Maybe ten minutes pass like that, the steam from their plates long dissolved into the air, when she finally looks up at him, frustration clear in the pull of her brow.

Something that she learned. Something that was taught to her, just like all the rest of her fear. Back when she first came to stay with him, she was always apologizing, always thanking. And the cooking, and the waiting for him to start before she would even consider her plate. Like punishment, like always being aware of some score, and afraid of what might happen if she does not balance it. And he’s watching her sink back into it, all of it, right now.

“Dove, please.” She blinks at him, a slack frown pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“You should eat, Joel.” She puts every ounce of sound she can behind it, and it still comes out quiet, a quick burst of decibel on eat, like her voice tried to kick up in her chest just enough to end on a good note, though his name comes out the softest of all of it, a whisper that seems to hurt.

“So should you.”

“I will.”

“Now, please.”

“I feel terrible.” And he knows that she isn’t talking about her lingering headache, not even the pain in her throat. He knows that she has probably been exacting perfect retribution on herself in her mind, all day. She looks miserable, because she has made herself miserable with guilt that has festered into shame.

“I forgive you, I do.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“You didn’t mean it.” Her eyes flicker, so small he might have imagined it. But no, something shifts behind her grimace, and he realizes that he might be wrong, that there had been some truth to her want last night. A want that she doesn’t know how to manage, a want that she doesn’t know what to do with. A want like his.

“I don’t know how to, Joel.”

“That’s okay.”

“I don’t think I can stand it.”

“What can’t you stand?”

“For you to not–” She cuts herself off, a sharp breath that threatens tears. But he knows it’s the same thing he’s afraid of that she is speaking to. Want can be so violent, so rash, so wicked and wretched in how big and bold and blustering it can get. But really, it is a child, hoping that someone will hold its hand, hoping, for once, that someone will walk it home, see it through the night.

“It’s the same for me, Dove. I can’t stand it either.”

On her terms, the only way this will ever work, he offers a quiet come here, please, pushes out his chair from the table, and waits for her to respond, to react. And yes, it takes time, but eventually, she does.

“Warm.” Said to herself, maybe not meant to be said at all, her eyes intent on where her palm splays over his chest. He places his hand over hers, keeping it there.

There is no one around for a good few miles, but here is what the coyotes see in the yellow drip of light coming from the kitchen windows. A man, sitting in a chair pushed back from a dining table, and a woman, standing between his legs, her hand on his chest, and his hand on her hand. And they are not smiling, neither of them, and they are not speaking either. They are looking at each other. The man places his other hand on the woman’s waist, and he gives her a small nod, a making sure, making okay. The woman nods too, and she lets her other hand settle along the man’s jaw.

But people are very boring to coyotes, especially broken ones like these, so they do not stick around to see the rest, skittering off with a chorus of yips and clackering sounds, seeking their own small satisfactions.

No, the coyotes do not see when the woman carefully dips her face down, nor do they see the man tilt his chin up in answer. And the coyotes certainly do not see the small, shivering kiss that is over as soon as it starts. Two shadows turning into one, and only the smallest sliver of light between them when they separate again.

The coyotes have much more interesting matters to tend to than such human things. After all, spring has finally come to the mountains.

..............................

taglist: @cassiopeia @eleganthottubfun @anoverwhelmingdin @sscorpiiio @joeldjarin @casa-boiardi @suzmagine @syakhairi @spookyxsam @northernbluess @hier--soir @joelsgreys @wannab-urs @tieronecrush @trulybetty @softlyspector @noisynightmarepoetry @csarab615 @ratoonstown @harriedandharassed @survivingandenduring @lizzie-cakes @beskarandblasters @narxisus

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #tlou fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #the last of us #joel miller fics #joel miller series #joel miller story #joel miller au #joel miller imagine

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applesaucesims · 4 months

Text

[🎵]

As autumn was slowly moving towards its end, Spooky Day came around and, despite Emma being heavily pregnant at this point, the McGregor's decided to host a party for friends and family. They had bought lots of different sweets and decorated the house with pumpkins, some of them they had even carved themselves.

The party guests, apart from their close friends, were mainly the younger generation of Emma's extended family, although Charlotte was also there, being the youngest of the aunts and uncles and wanting to use the opportunity to dress up and visit her favourite niece.

Everyone had come in different exciting costumes, Sean and Darrel even had costumes crafted by their mother, though the masks came off as soon as sweets were involved. Knowing her sons well, Christine had painted their faces, too, as a backup. Emma and Niall had been lucky to find some promotional costumes of the new Snow White film at the studio, which they obviously had to make use of.

In the end, it was a fun night for all. Even though Kenneth and Harriet seemed to pretend it was not, to not come across as childish, they ended up leaving with smiles on their faces, just like everyone else.

[TRANSCRIPT]

Niall: *whistling*

Niall: "Happy Spooky Day, Snow White!"

Emma: "You too, my prince!"

...

Sean & Darrel: *giggling*

Franklin: "Niall, where're the other drinks?"

Niall: "Check the dining room!"

Judy: "Come on up and let's dance!"

...

*lively spooky jazz* / *laughing and singing*

*lively spooky jazz*

Harriet & Kenneth: *teenage grumpiness*

#can u tell which pumpkin was carved by emma #ts4 decades challenge #ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 legacy #1930s #i haven't made posts with music to them in so long but it's so fun #emma jones #niall mcgregor #sean dickens #darrel dickens #harriet dickens #charlotte jones #franklin cleary #judy o'reilly #laura nielsen by sarkana-sims #kenneth jones

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topazy · 6 months

Text

Teen spirit

Pairing: Carl Grimes × reader, Maggie Greene × sister reader

Warnings: Blood, character death

Chapter: 5.04

“You still miffed that you’re staying?”

You tried to frown at Daryl’s question but couldn’t help but let the seriousness slip and laugh. You were ecstatic on the inside and doubted anything could knock you off the cloud you were drifting on. Beth was alive. Daryl had returned without Carol, but a boy named Noah was with him, who informed your group that Beth was alive. The same people who had taken Carol had taken your older sister, so now Rick was leading the way to bring the both of them back.

Once Beth and Carol were back, you’d be able to regroup with Maggie and Glenn. It filled your heart with so much joy that soon you could be with both your sisters again.

Of course you wanted to go rescue Beth with them, but Rick wouldn’t allow it; he said it was too dangerous, which you understand. “I wasn’t miffed, just disappointed.”

“Yeah right,” Daryl ruffles your hair, and he glances down at the hole you were digging. “That’s a good trench; I’ll see if I can get anymore wood and shit for it before I go.”

Most of the group had made spears out of wood from the pews in the church. You placed the DIY spears in front of the trenches surrounding the building so that any walkers that got too close would be impaled on them.

“Thanks.”

Not long after Daryl and Sasha handed you smaller pieces of wood for you to make smaller weapons out of, all of the group minus you, Carl, Father Gabriel, Michonne, and Judith stayed behind. Soon as they leave, Carl and Michonne nail the door shut to help slow down anyone or anything trying to get inside the church. The hammering noise causes Judith to cry, so you go and pick her up from the makeshift crib.

“Hey, hey, what’s all the noise about?” You ask gently, trying to shush her as you do. “The banging will stop in a moment, and then you go back to sleep.”

Hearing a scratching noise, you glance over at Gabriel, who is frantically trying to scratch dried blood off the wooden floors.

He was definitely starting to show signs he’s coming unhinged.

—

You smile brightly at Judith as she giggles, feeling your finger move over her tummy. Carl sits down beside you; he looks pleased to see his baby sister happy. He rubs his finger over her cheek gently. “What’s so funny, Judy?”

“She liked having her name spelled out on her tummy,” you explain, before tickling her.

Carl looks at you slightly confused. “Is her name spelled out?”

“My mom used to spell out words on mine and Beth’s back during bath time, and we’d need to guess what it was.”

Teasingly, he says, “It sounds lame.”

Your brows raise in amusement. “Turn around.”

Carl let out a deep sigh, pretending he didn’t want to do as you asked, but he began laughing the minute you spelled out the first letter.

“Z…o…m… Are you really spelling out zombie?”

You burst out laughing, “Okay, so it’s not that hard, but when we were kids, it was pretty fun to play. Plus, my mom would always pick bigger words; I’d always get so mad because Beth always got the ones I couldn’t spell right.”

He offers you a kind smile before picking Judith up and hugging her. Quietly, he says, “I tried to help Gabriel choose a weapon, but I think I just upset him.”

“He’s been isolated for so long, I don’t think he fully understands how bad things are.”

“I know; I just wish he would let us help prepare us.”

“He will come around eventually,” you said, letting Judith hold your finger with her whole hand. “I didn’t know much about the world outside my daddy's farm until the day he needed to help save a young boy's life.”

—

You and Carl remained sitting on the floor of the church, playing with Judith, until yelling from outside, followed by banging at the door, caught your attention. “Is that Father Gabriel?”

Michonne starts to break off the wooden slabs, preventing the door from opening. Carl hands you his sister before going to help her. Soon as the door opens, Gabriel falls to the floor, then hurry’s to scramble back up before the small herd of walkers burst into the church. You all follow Gabriel into his office, where you discover he’s put a hole in the floor that leads outside by ripping up the floorboards. When you hear scratches on the other side of the door, which was threatening to burst open, you nudge Carl to go. He jumps into the crawl space first, then you hand him Judith, then do the same thing seconds later.

When you reach outside, Carl helps you stand with his free hand. "Are you okay?”

“Yeah, are you?”

He nods before trying to calm Judith, who had begun crying with all the fast movements and loud noises going on around her. Michonne crawls out next, and the three of you wait nervously to see if Father Gabriel will make it out.

“Do you think he's…” You trail off, not wanting to finish the sentence, but are pleasantly surprised when you see a hand holding a bloody machete reaching out from underneath the church. You rush over and offer Gabriel your hand to help him stand up.

“Let’s go,” Michonne says, waving for you to follow. She makes her way to the front of the church and re-locks the doors, trapping the walkers inside.

—

You pace back and forth, trying to think of what to do next. You had hardly any supplies between you and enough baby food to last two days at most. “Do you think we would be able to clear the church?”

“No,” Michonne says, shaking her head. “Not with just us.”

Before you can say anything else, a fire truck comes speeding towards the church. Carl grabs you by the shoulders and pulls you back into the tree line, keeping you out of view of whoever it is.

The fire trucks smash into the front of the church, collapsing the front of the roof, making it impossible for anyone to go back inside. When the side of the truck opens and you notice your sister coming out, you run over to her with your arms wide open.

“Maggie!”

Glenn joins in on the hug and asks, “What the hell happened here?”

You pull back from the hug and say, "The dead got inside, but it’s not important; Beth is alive!”

Maggie’s eyes become glossy. “She’s alive?”

“She’s at a hospital in Atlanta,” Michonne confirms. “Rick and the others have gone to get her.”

Tears of happiness fall from Maggie’s eyes. She pulls you in for another hug and kisses the crown of your head. It wouldn’t be long until the three of you were reunited at last.

—

“Wait here,” Maggie says, closing the side door of the truck. “There’s still dead roaming around; stay in the truck until we clear the area.”

You roll your eyes and slump back into the chair. Maggie just shakes her head and softly laughs before walking off.

You watch as the group takes out the few walkers that approach them. You bounce your knees in anticipation, waiting for Beth to appear at any moment. You missed her so much; you missed her hugs, the braids she used to braid your hair, and you even missed hearing her singing, which used to drive you crazy. You try to distract yourself by focusing on Judith, who was babbling away in her brother's arms.

“There’s my dad,” Carl says, leaning forward to look past you. “Oh shit, Hope, I think something is wrong.”

You don’t hear what Carl says next to you as your eyes lock on to the figure in Daryl’s arms. “Beth!”

Carl figures it out before you and tries to reach for your hand, but you snatch it away, swing open the door, and jump down out of the fire truck. “Beth, Beth!” When you almost reach Daryl, you can see the red staining her blonde hair. “Why is there blood in her hair?”

Before you can get any closer, Rick spins and blocks your view. “Don't; you don’t want to see her like this.”

Your legs give way, and you crumble to the ground, sobbing. Beth was gone. Your sister was dead.

#the walking dead #carl grimes/reader #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes fanfic #teen spirit #carl grimes fanfiction #Carl Grimes #Carl Grimes/you #carl grimes x you #carl grimes x fem!reader #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead fanfic #teen spirit 5.04

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mrsgravity · 11 months

Text

jealous (TAA)

Note : Jude in this story is in Liverpool because I can't get over the idea that he's not coming to Liverpool and that makes me (💔)

W : angst , toxic Trent , bad words

English is not my first language 🫠

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Your laughs came high with Jude because of a ridiculous joke he made, You couldn't resist and held your stomach hard. You two spent the last minutes gossiping nonstop until your third gave a reaction

"Why are you so fucking loud?"

Trent scoffed as he removed his headphones which he no longer heard much from it because of your voices, you looked at Trent while you narrowly hold your laugh.

"Then why don't you join us?" You looked at Jude and you two exploded with another bout of laughter, Trent rolled his eyes and went back to what he was doing. You used to mock him always, he was the calmest person among you and then you and then Jude ... I don't think he's even on the list of calm people. Very loud , funny , passionate and loved by almost everyone.

Either Trent? You wouldn't say he was the exact opposite, but he was remarkably calmer and conservative. And you were right in the middle. You've known your boys throughout your work here. You've been through all their wins and losses, and you wouldn't have been happier than seeing them happy around you. Of course you knew Trent a while before Jude, and by his coming you got closer to them more.

You continued gossiping next to Trent, who didn't take his head off from what he was watching until you decided to tease him a little by pulling his headphones

"I don't have time for games y/n give it back"

"Come and take it" you put it in youe head and looked at him with a playful look. He sighed and get up from his place in disbelief that he would engage in these childish acts, he stood in front of you and reached his hand waiting to get it back. And when he thought he'd get it you pulled it back from him and repeat it again and again, enjoying it.

"Alright keep it to yourself"

"Ugh you're so boring, I'll give it to Jude"

"let it be"

He returned to his seat surrendered and you smiled triumphantly to Jude "I told you he is in a shit mood today" You complete your conversation with Jude, and you're not realizing about someone else's gazes that almost penetrates you.

The following days passed without any events that might be remembered, the boys indulged in training and you got busy working too. Trent has been working a lot in recent times due to the decline in his level, that you noticed he was overexerting himself. Jude has been a supporter during this time a lot, in any case you've given the best of you to them as well.

Jude came to you to lie on the grass tired and then Trent followed him, you extended him the water bottle to drink

"You can't overstress yourself like that, in that way you'll collapse before you get better"

"When did you see me collapse before?"

He wiped his mouth and you looked at him with a smirk, you didn't deny that his confidence and foolish ego was attractive some times but your pride was too big to fall for him that way.

"You're a human after all"

You extended your hand for Jude to help him get up while Trent returned to the field, and you found yourself complaining to Jude involuntary.

"I think he ignores me sometimes"

"Ignores you how?"

"I don't know.. he doesn't treat me very well these times"

Jude arched his lips and put his hand on your shoulder

"Do you want me to talk to him about that?"

"No .. no Jude I'll deal with it"

Honestly you didn't know how to deal with it, you tried to think of something you did that might have bothered him, but he was your friend. He wouldn't be bothered by something that came from you, and if that happened he had come and let you know. So you didn't think of anything else than giving him time because he was a person with private space and you didn't like to intervene.

"Are you free tonight? We can spend time if you want"

"No Judie you better rest"

You knew he was trying to comfort you, but you didn't want to give the situation more attention, everything will be back as it was.

After that you started watching Trent's actions carefully, He was quiet as usual except for some annoyances act by harassing this and that. And by interacting with Jude so he won't notice what you're doing. Sometimes you noticed he prolonged looking at you, It was normal but it was intense this time and you decided to ignore this again because his actions are unpredictable. Jude was creating an atmosphere to talk as usual and you were trying to talk to Trent more, most of his answers were looking at you and nodding and you were smiling at him anyway. He excused to go and do something, and as soon as he left you sighed and you were on your own with Jude.

"Is that because I pulled his headphones?"

"I don't think so, I think you should talk to him"

"But I don't know what I've done"

Then you two stopped talking when he came back

"Something important I don't know about?"

"Nah bro we're not planning to kill you"

Trent hummed and Jude suddenly thought to leave you two alone so he look at you with an encouragement look and excused to leave, and at this moment you felt like you didn't know exactly what to say and why so you just looked at him until he noticed you

"Hmm?"

"Nothing but.. I wanted to know if you are upset from me"

"Why would I?"

"I don't know ask yourself"

"Nah you're delusional"

His answer wasn't enough to you and you even felt like he didn't want to give you the right answer so you wanted to press him more

"But Trent you've been ignoring me sometimes and I'd like to know if- "

"I told you y/n you're delusional, no one is ignoring anyone"

"Fine .. I have to go back to work"

He talked without even looking at you and you got up and went somewhere else, you barely understood that he was so carelessness to you and you still unanswered. You came across Jude on your way talking to someone then he noticed you and came to you

"So?"

He was waiting for your answer but you shook your head and didn't stop walking

"What happened?"

"Nothing interesting"

"Come on y/n you leave me unanswered"

"He didn't want to tell me anything"

You felt like he was a little harsh with you but you'll come tomorrow and pretend nothing has happened, until he makes an apology about this maybe.

"I'll talk to him"

"No need Jude"

You grabbed his arm and stopped him from helping you

"Everything will be alright".

You came home late and threw yourself on the couch, you were so tired that you lazed making food but you got up for a cup of tea as you think about what happened today. Bad mood Trent was all you thought about then you got a notification from your phone. It was Jude checking if you got home or yet. You loved how he cared about you and supported you always, very lucky to have a friend like Jude. You would never have compared him to Trent but after what happened today you started asking yourself if Trent had changed or not, but you knocked out all these thoughts and went to talk to him, so he might have gone back to normal a little bit

You

You awake?

Trentskii💥

Yeah

You

How do you feel?

Trentskii💥

I'm good

Why

You

Nothing I was just checking

Seen

You bit your lip and waited for him to react but he was silent, a little anger sneaked on you because he didn't think of apologizing for what happened today. Does it make sense that he forgot?

You

Did you forget something?

Trentskii💥

Don't think so

You

Seen

You

Why did you get so cold?

Trentskii💥

Am I?

You put your phone aside and decided it's better to sleep because there's no point in this. You were really mad at him this time to ignore you that way, and the worst thing is you didn't know why. He was bad and you couldn't bear it any more.

—————————————

He was looking at the ceiling for a long time, then he finally noticed that he couldn't sleep. He sighed and picked up his phone by the pillow and found nothing interesting or someone to talk to at this time except he was checking some chats. He huffed and he got up to sit on the edge of the bed stroking his forehead, the nights he wasn't able to sleep were awful. Suddenly he got a notification on his phone and you were checking if he was asleep or not. He took a moments to think about what to answer then he just go on with yeah. He found you asking how he was, something he didn't find out about, yet. He wasn't okay these time and you already figured this out. It's like he's not comfortable telling you things like he used to do .. and it got annoying for him. He found himself keeping you away from him which he didn't count and didn't want to do this to you but his feelings prevailed at that moment. He noticed that you ignored his last message and guess you gave up and just went to sleep.

In the morning, he found you avoiding even looking at him but he wasn't surprised anyway, expected to treat him this way indefinitely. Jude was going to her from time to time so he didn't worry about you being alone. Since morning, he hasn't spoken a word and been quiet so he found Robbo asking him if he was okay.

"I'm good no need to worry"

He was incredibly upset. And what upset him the most is when he sees you go to deep talks with Jude without feeling what's around you, just a lot of rubbish. You made an eye contact with him accidentally and he saw you turn your face and don't care about him at all. Which made him dispute more and more. He let the training early for today and was the first one who leave, doesn't want to see you and stop him on something.

Jude saw him leave quickly and couldn't reach him to stop him. He asked if you knew what's wrong with him today and you didn't think of telling him anything

"Do you want to go out tonight? I feel like work prevented me from the world a century ago"

Jude approved your ask and you finally felt like you were going to do something that felt good, and appreciate that one of your friends was with you, either Trent decided not to bother you two and go home and stay up over other things, his thoughts. Lots of concerns have come to him, not sure if the half of it was true or not until his head started hurting him

They say you won't know that you love someone until you see them fall in love with someone else. He finally confessed to himself but he won't dare tell you, not after seeing you so happy with Jude and not with him, and not after he pushed you himself from him. But what was he missing? He gave you everything he could and at the end he felt you prefer Jude instead of him. You made him feel shit so he put all the blame on you and not him.

And while that you were fooling around with Jude and having fun with him, you couldn't stop yourself from admiring all these moments .. running and laughing for no reasons and sneaking here and there in the city at night, hoping no one will catches you two. You felt you were free from everything, you felt like the world loved you. Although you're worried that someone will see you together and have problems but your mind was clearer than thinking of a problem right now.

Passing the luxurious bars of VIPs then down the streets and running randomly, the lights of the city's stars were so beautiful on you, but you felt like every one of them were blaming you for something you didn't know what was. Your hands were in your pockets and walking next to each other, breathing fresh air deeply and contemplate the streets. You looked at Jude and smiled and he smiled at you too

"What?"

"Nothing I'm just smiling"

"You're full of energy today"

You chuckled together, you were seeing Jude as your best friend next to Trent. You couldn't stop liking him always and all he does. He was very warm for you.

And at that moment you thought... What really prevents you from liking him really? He wouldn't have a problem or reject you mostly.. he was too kind for that, but you were not completely sure.

"Thank you for everything Jude"

"Come on, you wanted this and I tried to help you to be one of your best nights"

You laughed and held his arm, sighed with tiredness and pleasure. And before you go ahead to do any other action, Trent passed on your mind, wondering what he's doing now.. mostly stays up to watch NBA games or gets bored. Anyways he messed up your mood a little bit but you wanted to stay longer with Jude, apparently you didn't have a choice.

"Let's go back home, you must be tired"

"Yeah you're right"

"But Jude ..."

"Hm?"

Will you do it? Will you settle your situation, or will you just be doubtful and retreat? You were worried about his reaction, and Trent's reaction as well. Doing this means you're going to give up one of them and you're not going back like you were mostly. Why would you do it anyway? Yes, Jude was great with you in everything, but was he really your dream man maybe? You see him more as a best friend of yours. You felt so rushed and reckless and decided to end this before it got more reckless

"Oh no .. forget about it"

You were tired all the way by Jude's car and daydreaming on the views from the window. He get you home and make sure you entered the house, you waved him and close the door happily. You took your coat off and hung it, and before you did anything else the doorbell rang. You froze in your place and wondered who will visit you at this late hour of the night, the door knocked this time and you went to open it. Your mouth stayed a little open and you got nervous because he was the last visitor would have expected to come

"Trent?"

He stand there only looking at you through his dark eyes so you decided to stand back to let him in

"Come in it's freezing outside"

He get in and closed the door behind him and leaned on it with his back

"Where were you?"

"Outside.. just stayed up with some friends, why?"

"I called you until I decided to come myself and check, are you sure you were with just friends?"

You forgot that your phone was on silent and you were barely going to hear it while you were out there. But what you didn't understand was Trent's language by saying friends, you felt like he was blaming you

"What do you mean by friends Trent? And I'm sorry but I forgot my phone in silent mode"

"I mean if he was Jude or not"

"And what's wrong if Jude was with me or not?"

"He was Jude then"

He smirked and bit his lower lip, you were standing there pointlessly waiting to justify his situation by coming this time, and also hearing his reasons for asking these strange questions

"I can't understand you Trent, what are you trying to say?"

He shrugged his shoulders and stayed there just watching you

"You don't pretend everything's okay with us after all this, don't you?"

"Everything is cool"

"Trent! Stop being a fool and tell me what you want"

He came to you and stood inches away from you, you didn't want to walk away so you stood here staring at him in misunderstanding

"Tell me why you were with Jude"

"it's none of your business"

You simply said in defiance of his harsh looks

"I expect something more intimate"

"I said it's none of your business"

"Why? Didn't you bother yoreself telling me at least?"

"I was tired of you and your actions, so decided to take a break"

"Of me?"

He scoffed and looked at you with an arrogant look, and you weren't good under his looks at you that almost breaking you through

"Don't act stupid now"

He approached your face seriously and you felt like that you could barely breathe, your legs were holding you hardly because of the gaze he still kept

"I want to know what happened between you and Jude"

"I don't like to repeat-"

"Maybe you would tell me how many times you fucked him this time"

You pushed him hard from his chest, not believing what he was raving about and started yelling at him hysterically

"Are you drunk? Did you lose your fucking mind or what? Answer me Trent I can't handle any more of your shit"

"Can't you just say you've been a fool for him all this time"

"Not before I know why you suddenly decided to become a big asshole"

You didn't think of lowering your voice because anger was your sense at that moment and you didn't care if neighbors would hear you or not. And you saw Trent trying to control himself but you just go ahead

"You just ignore me until you show up at my house like you care about me, and you know what? Yes! I was going to confess for him an hour ago and gonna do it tomorrow either"

He insisted on his teeth and quickly approached you holding your arms, you struggled so hard to free yourself from him but he was stronger than you and hold you to look at him only

"You were just blind, you didn't see what I was doing for you because you didn't see someone who isn't Jude and insisted on your blindness"

"Trent you're hurting me"

"I cared about you many times, why didn't you notice me then?"

"Why didn't you make me then?"

"Was I even enough for you? Because you made me feel nothing"

He was just screaming at you there, evil flies out of his eyes and he become someone you never knew

"What the fuck is wrong with you"

The tears began to form in your eyes unwilling and your voice came shaking. Your brain couldn't bear that your best friend suddenly became a stranger to you, He even suspected you and Jude in a wrong way, hided his feelings and put the blame on you. He moved away from you after finally realizing he was tough with you, stood there without expressions on his face to watch you just shed tears. You covered your eyes trying to stop it but you were weaker than that, hours ago you had a great evening until it eventually just turned into tears and you wouldn't have forgiven Trent for this.

You felt his arms surrounding you and tried to get away from him but he didn't let you

"Just leave me alone and get out of here"

You muttered amid your tears not satisfied with his trying to comfort you after that but he didn't moved at all

"I didn't mean it"

"After what?"

He get away to grab your face and look at it closely while wiping away your tears, you didn't like his attempts yet but you just surrendered on his touches. Suddenly he hold your hand and sit on the couch then pulled you to sit on his thighs. You were surprised by his actions which you weren't used to and looked at him

"Why like this"

He didn't answer you and surround your waist with his hands

"You know .. I just fucked up so I decided to finish this early"

"Finishing what?"

"Don't act so stupid, I can't see you with him anymore"

"But Jude is my friend!"

You got nervous from this very close position and you turned your face so you could breathe a little bit

"And I don't want to see you more than friends"

"What's your excuse?"

You still avoiding any eye contact with him unaware of exactly what he wants from you. He put his hand behind your neck to make you look at him, making you more nervous because of this heavy atmosphere

"Just look at me, am I enough for you?"

"Trent .."

You felt like he was doing this on purpose to make you confuse, but he was very close to your face, so close that you sank into his eyes.

"Answer me"

"of course you are"

Your voice turned to whispers, lost between the features of his face and his look. You didn't notice that he was this hot from close before, and you felt guilt that you didn't give him the right space to make him confess to you

"You just had to tell me this before .. you know"

He looked at you with a cold look and put his hands on your thighs then you finally realized

"Oh right .. you're Trent"

He smiled and brought you closer to his face and touch your cheeks with his lips

"Can I kiss you now?"

He asked nicely with his hands squeezing your thigh now

"Not before you say sorry"

He exhaled heavily and came down to your neck to put a few soft kisses that made you laugh and told him to stop, but he kept doing it, then he raised his head to meet your eyes again and whispered I love you. And before you even respond he pulled you for a kiss that made your stomach disturb. A butterfly kiss , a heavy kiss , and praise you between each one .. anything to never let you go.

————————————————

I'm not completely happy with the final result 🫠 but let me know about your feedbacks ! Hope u enjoyed <3

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander imagines #trent alexander x you #trent alexander arnold x reader #taa66 #football #footballer #liverpool #footballer x reader #footballer imagine #jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader

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jelmet · 8 months

Text

what pets i think fit with the batfam

these are kinda out of order but what evs

tell me what other characters u want (doesnt have to be bat-adjacent)

Dick Grayson

German shepherd maybe a huskey mix too

I know he has Hailey in canon but canon is of my choosing

I feel like his prestict was training dogs and one of them failed the training but hes already bonded with it so he takes it home with him and now he has a dog

he names it after somthing in the cirus

also named nightbite and the dog is considered a vigilante but only comes out to calm down children

Jason Todd

orange tabby

whenever someone meets the cat for the 1st time he spends 15 mins trying to convince them the cat is actually red

named elizabeth, and he forces you to call the cat elizabeth, no lizzie or any other nickname only elizabeth

he found her wandering around crime alley with out a collar and scooped her up and took her home

they become inseparable except when jason is doing vigilante stuff them the cat sleeps in his bed

shes tiny from malnourishment ect. from being on the street

he nourishes her back to health but she never gets to full size

Tim Drake

toad

he wanted a bullfrog before realizing how annoying they are and ended up getting an american toad

he named it either tim jr. or frog

he puts it in a mason jar (no top ofc) with some water and brings it everywhere (non vigilante)

the toad works comms and he tries to get everyone to call it red toad (failure)

he wears gloves when handling it and is very careful not to get salmonella (all reptiles and amphibians are loaded with it)

Duke Thomas

im giving him 2 types of pets

first he has a fish tank with those floresent neon fish

he has the full set up with the black lights and everything

1 fish of each color named color fishie (blue fishie, yellow fishie, ect.)

he also gets a rabbit

specifically a Miniature Cashmere Lop

he names it judy (zootopia reference lol)

he took her on patrol with him one in one of those baby carries that straps to your chest but he bent down and judy hopped out and he spent half an hour chasing her around

she lives on his bedroom floor, he has everything she needs lined along a wall and she just kinda chills all day

Cass Cain

SNAKE

she gets a common brown snake

they are non venomous, typically very docile, and the longest they can get is 13 inches long

she did tons of research on snakes and makes sure it living its best live

names it after her favorite fruit

she keeps trying to feed duke’s fish to it

brown snakes are fairly small so she will curl it around her fingers on one hand and do her homework with the other

Carrie Kelley

Yes shes part of the family

a hedgehog

she keeps it in her pocket

his name is sonic

she made him a blue mask and paints some of the quills blue and takes him on patrol (he mostly stays in her pocket)

one notable occasion she shot him with her sligshot into a thug’s face

sonic was ok the thug however was not

sonic lives in carrie’s pocket

Alfred Pennyworth

mini horse

he named it named fredrick

it stays out in the barn with batcow

he goes out on walks around the manor grounds and the horse will follow him around

helps out around the batcave and works coms with frog

Damian Wayne

i know he already has a ton of pets go away

caribbean reef octopus

i saw a video of one of these guys escaping its tank and immediately thought of damian

either gives it an arab name or names it richard

has an amazing tank setup for it with lots of enrichment

sometimes he takes it out on walks around the manor and damian will carry a little spray bottle to ensure he doesnt dry out

HE GETS 2 ASWELL CAUSE I JUST REMEBERED SMTH

a bearded dragon

he wanted a komodo dragon but they are massive (and venomous) so he compromised on a bearded dragon

he gives her either an arab name or names her timothy

ITS A DRAGON HED BE SO HAPPY!!!!

just like the octopus he takes really good care of her

she has a bunch of differnt outfits and leashes and he takes her on walks all the time

Stephanie Brown

Indian star tortoise

she saw a tortoise mukbang video and decided she needed one (go to animal asmr on youtube)

she named her ravioli

tried to get her a job in the bat med bay but alfred refused to let “ground zero for a salmonella outbreak” into the med bay

she has a massive box with multiple sets of lights despite how tiny she is (hes a baby now and about 2.5 in but adults get to 7-12 in)

as a baby she rides around on steph’s shoulder

once she gets bigger steph puts her in a leash

Bruce Wayne

way too many bats to count

each person has a bat named after them and a bat they have named

the rest are named bat bat

the bats are not allowed outside of the batcave

he also has ace (bat hound) who, from my best guess, is a Doberman

he also gets a fox moth

he raises it from a caterpillar and he loves it (he picks it up off the sidewalk and decides to keep it)

he names it bug

only pet not allowed to go into the batcave

it mostly stays on his head or shoulder when not asleep (even as a full grown moth)

sleeps in a net like cage thing hanging in his room

he cried really hard when it pupated only for a moth to come out a few weeks later

Jarro

why is the starfish here?

because

anyway in Flash 238-243 in the 70’s hal has a pet alien starfish thing named itty

jarro gets his own itty and yeah

#batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #duke thomas #carrie kelley #stephanie brown #cass cain #cassandra cain #alfred pennyworth #damian wayne #damian al ghul #bruce wayne #jarro #batman #dc comics #robin

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mchlgayser · 1 year

Text

𓂃⭑ᜊ: SHE WASN'T A BOY?! ft jude bellingham

𓂃⭑ᜊ an: I write this the longest I think(?) I may or may not like this story but then again idk. It's one of my many 'random ideas' that just popped into my head, I hope you like it!! xx ( change of povs )

𓂃⭑ᜊ: content warning: none

𓂃⭑ᜊ: @iwritesjud3's masterlist

It's Saturday! The day Jude was finally able to meet his childhood friend again. Many moons ago when he was barely seven and started school he had a friend he loved to call as 'Dash', his soccer mate whom he met when he plays at the playground. They were inseparable, clinging onto each other all the time, their parents are coincidentally closed friends too.

Before Jude had Jobe as a brother this guy was his best mate but one year after that, 'Dash' had to moved in back to his old hometown, his grandparents live somewhere far Jude could not remember but ever since then he lost contact with the 'pretty eyes' boy.

But last night, his parents break the big news about his old friends coming back to town to continue studying and Jude was more than happy to follow them to the airport and fetch the L/ns.

Jude dressed in a simple shirt and black sweatpants, trod downstairs to see his parents already on the living room waiting for him. They got inside their car and left their residence to the airport.

Once arrived, Jude was the first to get out, already excited as he is to meet again with his childhood mate. They got to the departure area, and his parents immediately spotted the L/ns but someone's missing. Dash wasn't there.

He greeted them like normal and Dash's dad starts going on about how is he in his club and he politely answered them, eyes still roaming around the hall 'I'm sorry but where is Dash?' They both look at each other and then back to Jude 'Dash? ...Oh do you mean Y/n?' He was a bit taken aback, what Y/n? Who's that?

'No I mean by Dash, your-'

'There she is!' He swarms his head around to see a girl, around his age, hair y/h/c. He was stunned, was that Dash? His childhood mate? Like for real?

She stopped right in front of him and smile 'Hey Jude!' She had a kind and gentle smile but it was lazy too. Her eyes drooped, but it was shiny and so pretty, and her hair covered some parts of her face, not to mention the headphone that are on her head too. It was blocking his view.

He was not able to speak, too stunned by the sudden shocking information, does that mean that his best mate all this time had been a girl?! Like a real girl?! Y/n laugh at his old best friend's behavior 'What's up with you Judy?' You called him by his nickname and stoned.

Their parents excused themselves to let the two talks, Jude started first 'Who's Dash then?' Y/n glance at him and shrugged 'A character from The Incredibles, he was my childhood.' At this point, the poor boy was beyond shocked 'So you've been using 'fake name' and I had no clue?!' She laughs 'I was so obsessed back then, I just wanted everyone to call me that and it includes you.'

'But I thought I was special?' She snorted and cross her arms 'Everyone are the same, anyway.' Jude gaze at her for a good minute before they abruptly stopped by a cafe 'Want a drink?' He hums not resisting the girl's request. After all, they are not stranger but instead good, good friends.

Y/n ordered drinks for them and they sat by a table for two, 'So how're you now?' Jude asked her, she looked at him 'Good, not better. What about you? Other than still being so damn good at soccer?' A lace of sarcasm lingers in between her sentence, and this makes Jude laugh 'Nah, nothing new about me other than soccer, skills improving eh? And you, what you do now?'

'I play instruments, catching on a new hobby, been hooked up to music since then.' He slips a small 'Oh' and nods 'You make music too?'

'Yeah, composing and write lyrics,' Jude learned new things bout his friend.

Y/n's liking for soccer was just another phase in her life, she's been into music after she moved out, form a school band with her best mates, wrote original songs, and composed. She told him about the place she moved in, a village 70% filled with old people with scary appearances. Almost every night with no electricity, a phase in life she used to shower outside by her grandparent's well.

A time of life she'll never forget, as she said it. Moved back to London but still somewhere distant when she was thirteen and moved back out months later to Malaysia until now.

'Teach me a few words then!' Jude exclaimed and she smile 'What do you want to know?' He thinks for a moment before replying; 'How're you.'

'Apa khabar?' Jude repeated it with his thick accent making Y/n chortle 'That's terrible!' He scoff at her remark and rolled his eyes at her 'Want to try something else?'

'Nevermind!' He deadpanned, looking at her almost judging making her snort. Their drinks arrived sometime later and they took a sip 'This feels good in my throat!' She moaned in ecstasy.

They talk for more and catch up even deeper, and later, Y/n's parents ring 'Hello?' She picked up and eyed Jude 'Yeah sure!'

'They deserted us! Never mind I'll book us a cab and meanwhile, you can guide me around London and the places we used to go to. I missed it.' He warmly smiles 'That would be great!'

They finished their drinks and left the airport, thankfully Y/n's parents escorted her baggage, She and Jude went around without a specific destination, just paying the cab driver a huge amount of cash to bring them both wherever they ordered.

They went around every place their mind could think of, every spot and shop to reminisce back on the good memories. Eventually, the ride comes to an end when Jude directs the driver to a familiar playground area. The neighborhood was the same, the identical bakery across the street was still there, but the paint renewed from sky blue to cotton candy pink walls.

The swing, the slide but some plays are mostly new.

'This place, I met you under there and you were crying because your mom won't buy you an ice cream for you.' Y/n joked about as Jude elbowed her hastily on the stomach 'Ow! What?'

The two sat on the swing for hours and eating ice cream, the sun are about to set, the sky painted with orange and yellow-ish hue, the cloudless sky are filled with a flock of birds as the two filmed the scene in their mind, not wanting to forget this beautiful day.

'It was nice meeting with you again 'Dash'.' Jude confessed, still licking his ice cream cone, Y/n had the whole ice cream inside her mouth and hummed 'Yesh! Me too!' She get the ice cream out of her mouth and smiles 'Likewise.'

After hours spent there, they finally decided to go home, Jude insisted that the cab sent you home first so you accepted.

The ride was not silence, the faint radio background had you and Jude both singing to it, not loudly but enough to light up the night even more, already feel warm and comfy with each other, the next song rolling had both you and him silently squealing, it was So Sick by Ne-Yo.

'Now that I'm alone...'

'Thanks for today, I had a great time. It's nice to see you again, Judy!' He hugs your form and smiles into your shoulder 'I had a fantastic day today, despite being a little surprised that you weren't actually... You know, no D-word.' A loud laughter erupts from your mouth 'Stupid, but I'm glad you had a fantastic time.' You smile and tore off from the hug 'See you tomorrow!'

'Text me!' He yelled and waved over your direction. You waved back and smile.

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jokekinsjoke505 · 6 months

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Stay with us (part 2)

(part one)

Ed (age 26) X male reader(age 26) X Lorraine Warren( age 25)

Warnings: this is just going to be fluffy and a bit angst

tag list: @wintervenom.

(3 weeks after the incident) I woke up slowly opening my eyes only to shut them quickly again due to the bright light. I felt a very uncomfortable feeling in my nose and throat I put my hand on my nose only to feel a breathing tube I looked around the room only to find Ed and Lorraine sleeping in the corner I snapped my fingers to try and signal them that I was awake but it didn't work so I said "Ed. Lorraine. I'm okay" I whispered and that was enough to wake them both I was immediately met with hugs and tears from both and once I made eye contact with them both……. I then understood that somebody gave a fuck about me I then felt Lorraine lean over and kiss my cheek making me look at her "Don't do that please" I said as my lip quivered due to the love I had towards them that knew would probably never be returned. I then felt a rough hand on my cheek i looked to my left and saw that it was Ed "Y/n. About your letter. Is that true?" Ed asked me making me look quickly at them both before looking down nodding in shame " Fuck I'm so so sorry guys. It's okay if you guys wanna cut contact with me" I said as I felt a tear run down my cheek but was quickly wiped away by Lorraine who then cupped my face into her hand making me look at her in the eyes. Then unexpectedly she kissed me while Ed held me close scared to lose me " I- w-…w-what?" I said in shock not understanding the situation but then Ed hugged me again squizzing a bit before saying "y/n we love you too" I then felt another tear run down my face.

(time skip to 3 months)

Me, Lorraine, and Ed have started dating but have to hold it a secret due to how much people look down on a truple that a woman can't date two people and how much people look down on two men dating. But when we were for example either in my home or their house we would cuddle, kiss, tell each other 'I love you' and also be able to look at each other without having to hide the love in our eyes. I also started going to therapy and fixing my mental health.

I walked in the door of the warren house and was immediately greeted by Judy who ran to me yelling in happiness "Y/n!!!!!" I quickly lifted the 8-year-old and hugged her then I sat her back down, took off my coat, and went to the kitchen where Ed and Lorraine stood and I quickly was greeted by kisses making me chuckle a bit "So how are you two doing?" I asked while taking a sip of the coffee cup that Ed had prepared for me before I came here "Oh a lot of work… We're heading to the countryside of Burrillville town. Do you mind babysitting Judy for a bit" Ed said and I smiled "Yeah of course I can" I said looking at Judy who was looking at the TV. I then felt a soft hand upon mine " Thank you Y/n that means a lot to us that you're willing to take care of Judy while we're working" Lorraine said to me while smiling before kissing me and I kissed back while smiling a bit into the kiss.

Later that day after spending some time with them they left and I gave them both a goodbye kiss and watched Judy saying goodnight to her parents due to how late it was and that it was time for Judy to go to bed when it was time for them to leave I grabbed Judy from her parents and held her in my arms and I could feel that she was falling asleep already making me chuckle "okay bye goodluck to you two and please try and stay safe" I said to them and watching them drive away then after they were out of sight I closed and locked the door and went upstairs and went to Judy's bedroom while I had her in my arms and when I laid her down onto the bed she woke up and looked at me and said "I love you, papa, goodnight" before falling asleep when she said that it was like being strucked by millions of shock bombs and I sat there for a moment in silence before leaning down kissing the top of her head and whispered "goodnight Judy I love you too" while kissing the top of her head. I stayed there until she fell asleep then I sneaked my way out of her bedroom and went to the guest bedroom and got ready for nighttime.

alright folks this is the end of this story but there will like come like moments between this lovely truple.

#ed and lorraine warren #the conjuring x male reader #the conjuring x reader #ed warren x reader #ed warren x lorraine warren #lorraine warren x reader #Lorraine warren x male reader #Ed warren x male reader #Ed X lorraine x reader #ed x lorraine x male reader #the conjuring universe #the conjuring #the conjuring 2 #the conjuring 3 #the conjuring fandom #the conjuring fanfiction

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sillydeafwitch · 9 months

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Brad and Judy heacanons because i am unfortunately fixated on these two out of all the characters in sdmi :(

Brad is actually pretty emotional without the curses influence. Judy is too but she mostly responds with happiness or anger while Brad expresses himself with more emotions.

Judy has anger issues. The curse actually makes them less obvious but when she does express anger it’s more violent and stressful.

Brad comes from a wealthy family, he has one older sister (Bridgette) and his parents are Penelope Chiles and Tim Chiles. He doesn’t really talk with his sister and his mother rarely treats him like a son and is often cold towards him. His father doesn’t treat him like a son either and just kinda follows whatever his wife does.

Judy comes from a large family. She has 5 brothers (Jaden, Jaiden, Jadyn, Jaideyn, and Jaydeyn.) Her brothers tease her a lot and don’t respect her. Her parents, Rachel Reeves and Norman Reeves, treat Judy very kindly and are very protective but often don’t give her brothers consequences for their actions which makes her feel trapped.

Judy and Brad first met at a playground. Judy finally got away from her brothers and Brad was all alone because his sister ditched him to go shopping with her friends. They became really close and hung out every day.

Brad had a LOT of extracurriculars as a kid/teen. He often struggled with balancing it all and he barely liked any of them. His parents signed him up for all of these to “give him enough opportunities so that he cannot possibly be a jobless hobo.”

Judy wanted to a lot of sports and after school activities but her parents deemed them “too unsafe and rough for a lady!” She often tagged along with Brad whenever he was doing sports or theatre.

Brad and Judy had Fred on accident, so they were going to give Fred to someone they knew in Crystal Cove, but the Freak came and in a moment of stress and also with maybe tiny speck of the curses influence, Brad decided to get rid of Fred that way.

Brad and Judy always cross dressed when doing disguises as kids. Brad lies says it’s because nobody would suspect someone as manly as him to dress like a girl. Judy just admits it’s fun to dress like a guy and break gender roles.

Judy is the more carefree one while Brad is more serious in nature, though he is definitely not a super strict kinda guy. Judy has helped him loosen up from a young age.

Brad and Judy would feel very guilty for how they treated Fred, if they remembered. They definitely didn’t want to be parents but they would never want to SHOOT HIM DOWN WHILE HE IS IN A HELICOPTER WITH HIS FRIENDS ESCAPING FROM MONSTERS…anyways, while they would want to apologize to Fred, im not sure if they would have the balls to do it to his face. It would probably be in an emotional moment or they would be forced to by another person like Cassidy or Daphne. They would probably hand over the parenting role to someone else considering how Fred likely doesn’t even consider them his parents at this point, they haven’t been around for most of his life, and they really don’t even want to be parents.

That’s all of them for now. I may add onto this another day. To make up for this terrible post I’ll start working on some Ricky and Cassidy headcanons!!

#scooby doo mystery incorporated #sdmi #scooby doo #long post #ricky owens #cassidy williams #judy reeves #brad chiles #headcanon #not canon #oh and btw none of this is supposed to be an excuse for what they have done #it’s just supposed to give them more character traits #fred jones

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wexhappyxfew · 21 days

Note

Might be a silly question but would you be able to do a quick post about the girls of Silver bullets and who their relationships (romantic?) are with?

I find that I’m reading too many things at one time and am having a hard time remembering who’s with who. Ps absolutely love your writing!

hey anon! not a silly question at all and something i'm more than happy to provide!!! it's quite the grouping and a whole lot of people and moving parts, so it is no worries at all :D some of the girls have more established and *finalized* storylines and such, while others....we'll see as it comes. so! below are all the pairings, with little descriptions i've given each! both vivian and bessie have boyfriends back home (and are serving in the war), while all the other girls are either paired with some MOTA boys or not (if you have ideas though, i'd be happy to take them!) this can serve as a silver bullets pairing masterlist!! thank you again and enjoy! <3

PAIRINGS:

ANNIE BRADSHAW X JOHN BRADY

Two pilots who find one another amid a world war, trying to seek out some form of comfort and warmth, in a time filled with grief, mental torment, and uncertainty.

FRANCIS MONTEZ

A co-pilot whose mental battle becomes the biggest proponent next to a world war - wondering if their replacement pilot will step up to plate, if they'll go down and lose Silver Bullets altogether, or if they'll be blasted from the sky in a metal coffin.

BESSIE CARLISLE X THOMAS MCKENZIE (OMC)

Separated by countries and oceans and merely connected through nothing but letters and pressed flowers, with scented envelopes, childhood sweethearts who fell head over heels with one another.

CARRIE ACHTERBERG X JAMES DOUGLASS

Bombardier friends who suddenly find themselves together more often not - and usually always trying to get the other to laugh, even if they're not watching.

KENNEDY FARLEY X JOHN EGAN

In training, she was a waist gunner on his fort. Then he found out she was a Red Sox fan and he, being a loyal Yankees fan, took every opportunity to 'bust her chops'. On tougher days, they seem to linger a little closer to one another than warranted.

MARGIE HARLOWE X BERNARD DEMARCO

Bonded over their love for animals and seemed to hang around one another since. Co-parents it appears to Meatball, the husky won in craps - they say they're just friends though.

JUDY RYBINSKI X ROSIE ROSENTHAL

Losing command pilot after command pilot began to take its toll on the young turret ball gunner, so getting a new pilot who stepped up to the plate and took charge made her gravitate closer toward him more than anything.

MARIANNE SALINGER

Lovingly takes care of an orange cat named Frank who likes to wander the base. Has never been in anything serious with a guy, usually a cheerleader for her friends, if anything.

VIVIAN RATCLIFFE X JAMES PENNINGTON (OMC)

He worked at her dad's mechanic garage and soon was coming over for dinner at the Ratcliffe household. She hangs onto any letters he sends and spends nights writing back to him in training, hoping one day, they're back on her family's farm once again.

PAULINA STAGLIANO

Had a boyfriend back home, but when she was in Greenland, wrote that he thought they should break it off - since then has made it her goal to commit entirely to the cause and focus on the world in front of her - and the war.

#masters of the air #mota #silver bullets #mota writings #silver bullets pairings #the girlies!#this is what its looking like at the moment #and yes! bessie and viv have their guys back home :)#thanks anon!#it was nice to put this somewhere !!!

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queenimmadolla · 2 years

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𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞 ─ 𝐏. 𝐈𝐈𝐈.

series master list ─ PI, PII

summary: . . . after making nice with Eddie, you get roped into a movie night that teases the boundaries of your new friendship.

chapter warnings: slow burn, fluff, some good ole’ longing, bullying, heavy flirting, and two people who want each other so bad it makes them look stupid.

a/n: Soak up these next few chapters, ‘cause an angst storm is coming. Additionally, this chapter features a special cameo of a character called Clover, and that is not her birth name, it’s a nickname because that’s the Reader for a Robin x Reader fic I’m working on so yeah, you get to make appearances in other fics about you, lol. Same with Judy, but because I already gave her a name I’ll either go back and switch it out with a nickname or just ignore it in her Steve Harrington x Reader fic (let me know what you think I should do, suggestions are appreciated). Special thank you to @kitmon for beta-ing this long awaited addition! as always, still no keep reading tab because Tumblr eats parts of my fics when I use it so happy scrolling! 𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭

You stepped into fourth period, Biology, with your head held high, still feeling refreshed from having made up with Eddie at the party. While you hadn’t had much time to talk, you were still satisfied with how the night ended for the both of you.

Shortly after you’d agreed to be friends, the cops had pulled up; someone on the residential street had finally grown tired of the loud music and drunk teens pouring from the house and into the streets. You and Eddie had made a quick escape, forced to part in your respective vehicles as you were both positive parents and guardians were going to be called the moment police realized alcohol and drugs were involved and underage teenagers were the cause of it. You didn’t exactly have a good track record with Chief Hopper, so you were hoping to avoid another run in with him.

You’d been giddy all weekend, dancing around the house, willingly doing your chores. Even the old hag couldn’t bring you down, you’d ignored her menacing glares while you bounced and bopped around the kitchen, waltzing around with the mop.

When Monday came around, unlike your peers, you were ecstatic to go to school simply for the fact that Eddie would be there; the pretty heavy metal lover, shrouded in spikes, thorns, and scorn to protect himself. But not with you. Now that you knew your affections for him hadn’t been completely one-sided, you were sure he’d show up. After all, the only reason he regularly attended Algebra II was so he could see you. Eddie had told you so himself. He’d want to see you, too. So, you took your time getting ready, back to being unbothered about arriving late if it meant you were gonna look your best (for a weekday at school, anyway).

When you arrived, the parking lot had been full and the hallways of the school had been nearly empty, save for a few stragglers, also late or just ditching. You could see Suzie coming out of one of the classrooms, wearing the neon orange sash that marked her as the Hall Monitor and as you quickly ducked into your class, hellbent on avoiding her while she wore that—it turned her into a monster—, you couldn’t help but wonder how she even had the time to do it. Didn’t she have class, too? Sure, she was stupid smart, but she still needed credits to pass.

Mrs. Boucher stopped in her introduction of the day’s agenda, giving you an unimpressed look as you shot her a sheepish smile.

“Glad to see you have decided to grace us with your presence on this fine Monday morning. Would you like to stand around or take your seat?”

You almost stopped your scuttle, having slowly been inching your way towards your desk—grouped up with three others—from the moment you came into the class, eyes squinting at her in disbelief as you held a hand out in a gesture to what you were doing but she just turned back to the board, going back to the agenda. There was nothing you hated more than an authoritative figure telling you to do something that you were already doing.

You huffed as you sat down and Heather grinned from the seat across from you, amused with the whole interaction.

“Thought you were going to be on time from now on?”

You lifted your shoulders in a shrug, unable to keep your lips from curving up into a smile, “I changed my mind.”

She hummed, eyeing you playfully before she began jotting down in her notebook. You probably should have started focusing on your notes, too, but that wasn’t all that important to you at the moment. That was second on your agenda. The first thing to do was check for Eddie.

You waited about five minutes to ensure you’d lost your teacher’s attention, then you tried to slowly and casually turn your head towards the tables behind you without being caught; specifically, the one near the windows. Only, you were caught immediately, locking eyes with Eddie’s brown ones the second you allowed your gaze to follow your head.

Oh, fuck.

Your head snapped back around as you felt your face get hot before you remembered you had nothing to hide anymore. When you looked back again, you weren’t discreet and found Eddie still staring. When he realized you weren’t going to look away that fast, he grinned, his whole face lighting up.

You did the same, wiggling your fingers at him; his joy was contagious. He rested an elbow on the top of his desk and pulled his hair to the front of his face as if to hide behind it, but you could still make out his smile. Then he lifted a hand, his deft, ring covered fingers waving in return.

You forced yourself to turn back around in your seat as your heart did gymnastics in your chest. Get a grip, you chided yourself. You’d never be able to pay attention in class if you kept thinking about Eddie like you so badly wanted to, and it wouldn’t be good for your strictly new found friendship. You had to distract yourself.

You did a full rundown of your schedule for the day, ending with cheer practice and you mentally groaned at the thought. You loved Cheer, loved being in the spotlight (had hated the thought of it before but, in actuality, a cheer routine didn’t go past like four minutes and then it was over and attention was redirected so it wasn’t so bad!) ,you loved most of the team and you loved that you got to leave from certain classes early on days where you had to cheer. But, your coach was always on your asses. She wanted perfection—and she’d let the entire squad know just how disappointed she was when she didn’t get it—but above all, she really did believe everyone had a place on the team in the worst of fucking ways.

Connie, your coach, favored some individuals over others. It wasn’t a constant factor but, depending on the situation, competition or routine, she actively encouraged others to stand out, while persuading others to appear as unremarkable as possible. Took the ‘Squad’ right out of Cheer Squad.

If you’d been in ballet, that would have been fine because it was expected, but not with Cheer. The whole purpose of cheerleading—other than flying and tumbling which you were lucky enough to do—was to bring cheer to people, encourage them. It was hard to do that when you were constantly experiencing the opposite. You and Judy had dubbed most of Coach Connie’s spews as de-motivational quotes;while other cheer teams got pep talks, yours got, ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, odds are you’re not talented’ and your personal favorite, ‘why stand out when you were born to be a background character?’ You thought about that one a lot. It was humbling, really, and you were lucky enough to not have it directed towards you very often, as she needed you, specifically, to be thrown around in the air, most of the other girls fearing your particular position. Judy was the only other member willing to be a flyer and tumble which is how you two became friends and, while you had alternatives, they often chewed you out and sent you low glares anytime they had to step in for you.

Sarah Silva had sprained her ankle on Thursday and you just knew Coach Connie would throw a fit, so you spent the rest of the class trying to judge how unpleasant practice would be instead of thinking about Eddie. If you had been paying attention to him, you would have crumbled under the heavy weight of his stare, still focused on you.

The rest of your classes were mundane and Eddie-less, with the only interesting one proving to be your fourth period class, AP Biology. You loved it and your spunky old teacher, Mr. Hoagie.

“Everyone up against the left and right walls, please. Now that we’re done with the introductory phase of utilizing this lab, I’ll be assigning you a table and a partner,” he instructed, and you made your way to the left side, eager to see who you’d be matched up with.

When he called your name and the number of your assigned table, you rushed over to it, placing your backpack on top of the cold, metal top just as a binder dropped onto it and a boy with long, black hair and colorful clothes took a seat on the stool next to you.

He regarded you for a moment, head bobbing in acknowledgement.

“‘Sup, I’m Argyle.” That hadn’t been the name called out alongside yours, so you were positive he was going by a nickname or his last name. He looked familiar, though. You squinted as you raked your brain for his face, trying to place it in a setting.

It dawned when you watched him turn on the bunsen burner, pull out a lunchbox from his backpack, produce a cold slice of pizza and hold said pizza over the flame to warm it. “You’re Eden’s boyfriend!”

They were a relatively new couple, Eden didn’t talk about her romantic life too much, still breaking free from her former Mormon habits. She’d only brought up having started a relationship three weeks ago, with the guy who delivered her family’s Friday night pizzas. Apparently, they’d hot box his car whenever he went through the area; tale as old as time.

While you knew he was still in high school, Eden liked to spend her time in school with you and Judy. Her time outside of school was usually spent with her boyfriend, if not also with the two of you. She’d only pointed him out in the halls a couple of times. You just assumed she was still shy about it.

He grinned, white teeth on display as his head bobbed in confirmation, “Yeah, man! That’s me! Wait—does she talk about me a lot? Is it good? Or bad? Did she tell you about the anchovy and woody thing?”

“The what?��

Argyle went quiet (it already seemed uncharacteristic of him and you’d only known him two minutes), his voice low and soft as he followed up with, “Nothing. Are you Judy?”

You laughed and shook your head before introducing yourself, awkwardly offering out your hand for a quick handshake.

“Oh! I know you! You’re my boy Eddie’s girl.” The urge to allow your body to slide to the ground like mush was strong, knees weak at the thought of Eddie talking about you to his friend’s (small world, by the way). His girl? Was that how Eddie had referred to you as or was that all just Argyle? Argyle looked down at your hand and the pizza he was still holding before setting it down on top of his binder. He took your hand in both of his, carefully tucking your fingers in to form a fist. Then, he fist bumped you with his own, pleased with himself before he picked up the pizza and took a bite.

“Nice ta meet ya,” he mumbled out, very much the type to talk with his mouth full. For some reason, when he did it, it was endearing, almost expected, really. You also had an inkling he was high, judging by the pink tint to the whites of his eyes.

“Nice to finally meet you, too, Argyle.”

Your teacher passed out some supplies: glue, little bottles of food coloring, baking soda, and contact solution before he announced that he hated Mondays so you’d be making some slime to make up for the terrible day of the week.

You and Argyle had fun with it as you violently squeezed out every last drop from the Elmer’s glue squeeze bottles. He couldn’t stop laughing when the bottles started to make a farting sound as they neared empty and you couldn’t stop giggling at how high pitched his voice got when he was trying to talk after his laughing fits. His talking voice almost matched your giggle pitch, and when you pointed it out, it sent him into another wave of hysterics. The rest of the class seemed to be getting some enjoyment out of your antics, too, with even your teacher teasing him.

You accidentally made a little mess of the baking soda—Argyle was baffled after discovering it was a powder and not a liquid, very misleading—but Argyle just scooped it up and dumped it into the bowl as you mixed it in with the glue. You were torn between the colors, though; you wanted pink or purple but Argyle was set on green. He caved after you insisted if you were going to be playing with slime, you wouldn’t be doing so with a batch that looked like a giant booger and soon added drops of white and red food coloring until the desired shade of pink was accomplished.

You’d finished faster than the rest of your classmates, but it wasn’t a problem considering how surprisingly fun it was to play with, though you planned on throwing it away after school.

Argyle was being inappropriate with his, had it clenched in his fist as he fingered it to create a wet, squelching sound for his amusement.

“You should come to the movies tonight. A bunch of us are watching that new horror flick, Fright Night.”

You’d heard about the film, had seen a couple of previews for it between Alf and Matlock and while you enjoyed horror movies in your home, you didn’t watch them too often in theaters. Mostly because you couldn't hide when something got too gross for you. That and you wanted to avoid experiencing secondhand embarrassment because the character on screen was doing something stupid.

“Eddie will be there,” he added in a sing-song voice, thick eyebrows wiggling in a silly, rather than suggestive, manner.

Danger. Bad. If you watched a horror movie alongside Eddie, you’d no doubt be hiding your face in his shoulder or something and he’d probably be more than willing to comfort you and friends don’t get that friendly with each other. Okay, they don’t mean it when they do, at least.

“I’ll think about it.” That seemed to satisfy Argyle, who had begun to roll the slime all over the table top, collecting dust, dirt, and random particles until his slime was pretty disgusting looking.

When class let out for lunch, you made a stop at your locker to stuff your backpack inside after pulling out your lunch box and then tried not to run to the cafeteria, eager to inform your friends of your current predicament.

Judy, Eden and Judy’s younger sister were already at the table when you arrived.

“Argyle invited me to the movies with a group of people and I don’t know if I should go or not because Eddie’s gonna be there,” you blurted out as soon as you took your seat next to Eden.

“Hey, how are you? We’re good. Weekend was boring. Thought about shaving my head, didn’t though,” Judy rambled with a smile, having obviously noticed your lack of a greeting. “We think you should go, considering we’re the group of people.”

You frowned, “Wait, you guys are going, too? I expected Eden—‘cause, you know, Argyle—but you, Judy? And you weren’t going to invite me?!”

“Eddie’s going! We didn’t want you to be on edge and uncomfortable. Plus, I already put him on my revenge list for you and I’m gonna make him uncomfortable with my trademark glowering stare,” Eden defended and you realized you hadn’t called them on Sunday to mention what occurred at the party on Saturday.

“Oh. Uh, yeah, about that. . .” You gave them the rundown, not missing out on a single detail as you recalled the night; how Eddie had called you out and how the two of you had made up but agreed to continue as friends.

“No offense, but what the fuck? You had him right where you wanted him! That boy was so ready to romance you, hell, you could have asked him on a date right then and you asked him to be your friend? Please explain your reasoning, I need to understand.” Judy begged, she and Eden leaning in, having been thoroughly sucked into your romance ,or rather, lack thereof.

“We don’t really know each other!”

“That’s the point of dating, you get to know each other!” Judy shot back and you rolled your eyes. Ugh, she was right but she was missing a crucial detail.

“And if it doesn’t work out, you break up and never talk to each other again. I like Eddie, and I do want to get to know him better which is why I want to be friends. “I don’t want to mess anything up by rushing into things. If it doesn’t end well, we an end up not being friends. Not being anything.” “You’d be exes,” Clover, Judy’s little sister, supplied to which Judy slapped a hand over her mouth.

Judy seemed to contemplate that for a moment, then she appeared more sympathetic. You wondered if she was musing over her own situations.

“Relationships are scary,” Eden declared, attracting both your attention and Judy’s.

“You’re literally the only one in a relationship,” you pointed out and, for once, her stiff posture relaxed as she became shy, pale cheeks tinging into a pretty shade of pink. She didn’t respond but she didn’t need to, the gentle smile on her lips told the status of her relationship.

“You should go,” Judy continued after taking a bite of her sandwich. “I’m biased, obviously, I’d like you to already be with Eddie but if you’re just going to be friends, then you actually have to be his friend. Friends hang out, you know.”

You began to nibble on your lower lip, something you did whenever you were nervous, “What if—’’

“You end up liking Eddie even more? Then, you like him more. You two already know you’re attracted to each other, more than just physically, so if it happens this way then it happens. You don’t have to fight it, sweetie. I know taking the risk is scary, but missing out is sometimes worse. Come with us. We’ll even sit between you and Eddie if you want.”

You sighed, lips pursed as you considered the offer.You did really want to see Eddie, and you did agree to be his friend, so really, what harm could come from hanging out with your friends?

“Okay, looks like I’m coming with you.” Eden pulled you into a side hug, grinning and you were sure you’d made the right decision.

Eden was about to say something when Payton Alabaster walked by the table, dumping the contents of her tray all over Eden’s sweater.

“HEY!” Judy shouted. The reactions were immediate, you and Judy pushed yourselves back from the table and sprang up while Eden sank into herself, trying to disappear as she tried to brush the food and milk off of her with her hands.

Payton didn’t look all that apologetic, red lips pursed into a condescending pout. “Oops.”

You were positive she wasn’t sorry about what she’d intentionally done.

“Gee, Eden. I’m sorry, I must have mistaken you for a trash can with that outfit.” She leaned down, her hazel eyes glaring daggers at Eden who wilted under her gaze. “It looks better this way.”

You’d had enough of the bullying and forced your way between them, easily holding Payton’s gaze as she raised an eyebrow, unused to being challenged. “You’d look better out of sight, as in go away.”

“So the Easter Bunny’s feeling brave now?” She refused to step back, leaving you two almost nose to nose but you’d grown used to her using the costume mishap against you, it didn’t even bother you anymore, not coming from her.

You’d gladly take her verbal abuse if it meant it spared Eden, who did nothing to deserve it and bothered no one. You were aware she had a hard time standing up for herself and while you had no intentions on glorifying yourself by trying to be her hero, you weren’t about to let someone bully one of your best friends. Especially some generic, mediocre mean girl.

“Why don’t you meet me in the parking lot after school and find out, brunette?” Payton Alabaster claimed her blonde hair was natural but her roots said otherwise.

She scoffed, holding your glare in an attempt to intimidate you. Had she encountered you two years ago, you would have submitted like a dog, with your tail between your legs. Not anymore. Peyton seemed to come to the same conclusion, she looked absolutely hate filled as she turned and walked away, stomping right out of the cafeteria while her herd of followers scrambled to keep up.

The cafeteria returned to normal as you sat down. Clover went to retrieve some napkins while you and Judy used the ones currently at the table to try and clean Eden’s sweater. You brushed remnants of a salad off of Eden’s hair.

“Thank you.” You almost didn’t hear Eden’s whisper; her eyes were downcast, you were sure they’d be watery if you could see them and her voice sounded rough. She was trying to hold back tears. Suddenly you wished you had just downright tackled Payton right then and there instead of challenging her to a fight after school.

“And I’d do it again.”

By the time school was over—Payton’s Miata nowhere in sight, the coward—and you’d made it through cheer practice, you had about an hour and half until you had to be at the movie theater. You’d all agreed to meet at Judy’s house to get ready since she had the biggest room. So you rushed home, scrubbed yourself clean, threw on a t-shirt and some shorts before shoving a couple of possible outfits in a cheer bag and rushing to your car.

Eden had already arrived by the time you reached Judy’s home. If you hadn’t witnessed it yourself, you never would have known she’d had such a negative encounter, she was all small smiles and cleaned up, still dressed head to toe in dark colors. You were happy that despite enduring the abuse, Eden didn’t let it get to her enough to change herself.

Precisely why she reminded you of Eddie.

“I don’t know what to wear,” you confessed.

Eden and Judy took your bag from you, laying out the contents of it along Judy’s bed. They had you try on the outfits multiple times before you’d all agreed on a lavendar long sleeve blouse, a pair of green corduroy pants that were blessedly comfortable and stretchy, a jean jacket that had formerly been your mother’s and your favorite shoes.

You all piled into Judy’s Bronco (Clover had managed to beg her way into coming along) and arrived at the theater 20 minutes before show time. You’d grown more nervous about your decision to go the closer you got to the movie theater with Clover having to practically drag you out of the backseat.

All doubts faded from your mind the second you saw Eddie. He was talking to Argyle, Steve—maybe teasing him judging by how unimpressed Steve looked—and Robin. Eddie looked absolutely delectable. He had traded in his blue jeans and hellfire shirt for a black sabbath shirt that had the sleeves ripped off, the hem unmanicured and scraggly with loose threads. The bottom length of the shirt had also been cut off, with the hem curling just below his belly button; it was sure to peek out if he so much as stretched. You could see the smattering of light brown hair that was his happy trail disappear into a pair of tight, black jeans with a frayed hole along one of his thighs and another just above his knee. Eddie had his leather jacket with him, but the evening was still warm so it was clutched in his grasp.

You wouldn’t be surviving tonight, he had to be trying to kill you.

You didn’t even get time to compose yourself; Eden called out to Argyle attracting all their attention and you willed yourself to stare at Nancy Wheeler, tucked into Jonathan’s side, instead because you didn’t quite trust your knees to carry you the rest of the way if you Eddie turned you into a puddle by making eye contact.

When your groups finally merged, despite their promise—and you should have known better, honestly—Judy and Eden abandoned you in favor of mingling with Argyle, Jonathan and Nancy while Clover dragged you over to Robin, Steve and, yup, Eddie.

You feared that it may be awkward but apparently it was Clover’s turn to take charge, the junior didn’t even let your hand go when she introduced you while you squinted at her because you were sure introductions weren’t needed given the fact that you knew all of them. Eddie seemed to find it amusing, sauntering right up to you.

“Very nice to meet you, again.”

You decided to play along, head cocking, “Do I know you from somewhere? Detention, maybe?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, moving behind you to place his hands on your shoulders and guide you towards the movie theater doors, “Alright, that’s enough out of you, I already bought your ticket.”

He bought your ticket for you, of course he did. He was actively trying to make you regret your choice by being the biggest sweetheart you’d ever known and making you want to cry a little. A tingle, sharp and electric, raced up your spine the moment he put his hands on you and despite the layers of clothes separating your skin from actually feeling his touch, you’d never felt more alive.

The others followed the two of you in and you could see the grin practically splitting Judy’s face in half from your peripheral vision.

“I actually didn’t expect you to come,” Eddie admitted, drawing your attention back to him as his hands dropped back to his sides and you turned to face him. God, he was just so stunning and it was criminal that he didn’t even know it. “I mean—I really, really wanted you to, but, uh, I guess I just figured you wouldn’t.”

Because of your habit of avoiding him, you concluded. You were reminded of how happy he’d been when you looked back at him in class that second time, and didn’t look away in shame again. You wanted to kick yourself.

Eddie was taller than you, so you had to crane your neck up, which you were thankful for as it kept your eyes from roaming about his figure, specifically the exposed skin of his lower stomach you found yourself desperate to lick. And his thighs? Oh, man, his thighs. You had no idea you even had a thing for thighs, but you suspected it was all just Eddie you had a thing for. This close you could see how defined his curls were, he’d probably showered before coming and washed his hair. Your fingers itched to play with the strands.

You became aware of Eddie waving a hand in your face—another thing about him that surprised you but shouldn’t have; his hand was about the same size as your head, maybe even bigger and the lady downstairs decided she was a big fan of that—and blinked, rising from your borderline inappropriate thoughts.

“What?”

Eddie smirked, chocolate eyes shining under the neon lights of the lobby, “I said I didn’t think you’d come.”

His statement sparked his previous one in your mind and you blushed as you realized you had, indeed, mentally checked him out again instead of answering him. It wasn’t your fault!

“Sorry, I just—you’re pretty. Um, pretty distracting.” You cleared your throat, eyes nervously darting to the side when his stare and his smirk became more intense. “I actually wasn’t going to, but I was convinced. A couple of people pointed out that I wouldn’t be a very good friend if I didn’t spend some time with you.”

His smirk softened into a smile as he regarded you thoughtfully, head nodding slowly as he lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck. “I’m glad you’re a good friend.”

You found yourself returning his smile as your top teeth bit gently into your lower lip before you continued, “And as a good friend, it’s my duty to buy you junk food since you bought my ticket.”

“Well, I can’t argue against that.”

The concession line wasn’t insane since it was a weekday—excellent idea, Argyle—and after you’d gotten Eddie his popcorn, disgustingly saturated in butter, a soda he coaxed you into sharing because he didn’t like to drink a whole lot of it, and a couple of sour patch kids that he compared to your personality—you’d pinched him and he had laughed, playfully pushing your head away—you settled into your theater, not even surprised when Judy and Eden sat themselves away from you and Eddie instead of between the two of you as promised. You’d accepted the fact that you’d fallen into their perfectly planned set-up and you didn’t mind all that much. You couldn’t when Eddie was just so wonderful. Upon sitting down, you hadn’t lowered the cup holder that would essentially separate your two seats and neither did Eddie, meaning should the opportunity arise, he could put his arm around you. You doubted he would, he seemed pretty respectable so far, but a part of you hoped.

You were so caught up in him that you didn’t even mind Steve’s loud talking during the previews. A couple of other people shushed him but he paid them no mind, only shutting up when Clover threatened him, Robin laughing behind her fist.

When the movie began, you were immediately suspicious of Jerry, satisfied when Charley caught on just as fast as you had, the movie proving to be tolerable, for now, and not like one of those movies you rolled your eyes at because the protagonist was too stupid or horny to notice the obvious danger. You watched as the harassment between the two continued, progressing in violence.

Despite your hatred for butter, your hand reached for the popcorn in Eddie’s lap just as he reached for some—it was stupid cliche, but the moment his hand touched yours, you felt sparks and were pleased to discover his hands were just as warm and soft as they had been the last time you’d touched them, ot had been much more formal. You pulled your hand back, sans popcorn, as the two of you shared a smile. You thought something else may have passed between the two of you, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint what. You mumbled an apology but he just shook his head, like you had nothing to be sorry for. You turned your head back to the screen but you could still feel his gaze burning into the side of your face. Eventually, he gave his attention back to the movie and you were free to caress your own hand, trying to savor the feeling of Eddie’s touch.

The movie progressed and, in a moment of fear for the main characters when they returned to Jerry’s house to rescue Amy and slay Jerry, your hand reached down to grip onto the arm of the cupholder between the two of you, recalling too late that you hadn’t lowered it. You glanced down to find your hand on Eddie’s thigh, just over the frayed hole, and raised your gaze to find him looking back at you. Before you could withdraw your hand, he placed his larger one over yours, giving it a comforting squeeze as he looked back at the screen.

Neither one of your hands moved, and you’d definitely need to watch this movie again because despite the action on the screen, you couldn’t pay attention to anything except the warm flesh of Eddie’s thigh against your palm and the soft, slightly clammy skin of his palm over your hand. His thumb would occasionally stroke over it, causing your heart rate to pick up just when it would finally settle. It’s like he was aware of the effect he had on you. You wondered. . .

You snuck your thumb under the ripped fabric of his jeans, feeling victorious when you felt him tense under your touch but he didn’t stop you or discourage you. He stayed still, the slight tremor you felt as you stroked the skin of his thigh confirmed you had the same effect on him.

He squeezed your hand as you continued to caress him, only allowing him relief when you’d felt you got even. You stopped stroking your thumb but it remained there, the heat of his skin warming it.

Soon, the movie was over and the credits were rolling as the lights came on; employees were eager to clean the theater and go home. You all stood, discarding your trash as you exited the theater and walked through the lobby to the main exit.

You were the first to break the silence, “Those Vampires were really ugly.”

“Thank you!” Robin responded, going into a rant about how random it was that Amy’s cute little pixie cut grew out like 12 inches when she was a vampire for seemingly no reason and how grotesque they looked in full Vamp form.

Argyle thought it was cool but was certain they’d have jaw problems. Eddie was unusually quiet, listening as they all rambled about the movie for a couple minutes. You noticed Steve slowly making his way closer towards Judy, who announced she was tired and you’d all better be getting home since it was a school night. Before you could fully walk over to join the girls as they prepared to make their way to the parking lot, Eddie’s hand grasped your wrist to stop you.

“I could give you a ride,” he blurted out, “I gotta go that way, anyway.”

You glanced back at Judy and Co. to find them already walking towards her Bronco, backwards as they didn’t bother hiding their elation for you, mouths wide in sly grins with Clover giving you two overly enthusiastic thumbs up. Very discreet. Nice.

You turned back to find Eddie trying to hide his own smile, having obviously seen them, too.

“Lead the way.”

You both bid Robin and Steve goodbye. Nancy pulled you into a hug and so did Jonathan. That made you feel soft; he seemed so reserved so you felt kind of honored that he was comfortable enough with you to do so. Argyle fist bumped you, pleased when you knew the routine and he didn’t have to form a fist for you again. Then, Eddie was leading you to his van.

He opened the passenger door for you, bowing as he gestured for you to enter, “My lady.”

You shook your head in amusement, climbing in. You reached up to pull the seat belt into place but Eddie beat you to it, yanking hard to get it to stretch as he pulled it over your chest and buckled it in. Your breath hitched when he leaned over you, his face almost directly in front of yours.

“S-sorry, it’s kind of a piece of shit so you gotta pull on it hard.” He looked pretty affected by how close he’d had to get to you, too.

“It’s okay,” you breathed out. He swallowed before giving you another smile as he closed the door and hurried over to the other side. Once he was in the seat, he started up the van and cranked on the heat, spreading his leather jacket out on your lap to warm you until the van could. Then he began shuffling through some tapes he had on the middle of the seat, frowning in concentration until he found one he liked and popped it into the cassette player.

An almost violent guitar solo flooded through the speakers of the van and you smiled at his choice. It was so very Eddie.

“I should’ve known you were an Ozzy man.”

Eddie’s eyes lit up as he realized you were familiar with the song, “You like Ozzy?”

“Yeah, I mean, like any other artist, there are some of his songs I like more than others and a couple I don’t care for, but I like how enthusiastic he is.”

Eddie lowered the volume—something that surprised you—so you could continue to converse as he pulled out of the parking lot. “You know, I kind of expected you to be a Madonna type of girl. Cyndi Lauper, maybe Michael Jackson and Whitney. Prince, even.”

“I do, I’m fans of those artists, too, and if we’re talking pop, I’m partial to ABBA, Janet, Bananarama, and Billy Idol. But I also listen to Run-DMC, Peter Gabriel—thought he was the best out of all of Genesis so I’m excited for his new solo album—, Beastie Boys, Whitesnake, Ozzy, Metallica, Billy Squier, Twisted Sister and so on. I like all kinds of music and artists. That’s not illegal, is it?”

You were testing him, you’d heard his occasional rants in the cafeteria, it didn’t happen often and while you understood where his frustration was coming from, you didn’t like how he seemed to ostracize those with different interests than him, he sounded a lot like those who harassed him when he did that.

But Eddie just shook his head, his smile laced with affection as he glanced over at you, “No, that’s not. I actually admire you for that. Despite my rugged looks, I also occasionally venture out of Metal and genres related to it. I like Janet—she’s really hot and she can sing—and I haven’t listened to a whole lot of his stuff, but I like that one song by Billy Idol.”

You grinned, twisting in your spot to lean closer, “You can say it. I know you know what it’s called, I promise I won’t tell.”

He groaned but the smile didn’t leave his face, in fact, it widened as he cheekily tongued his canine. “Alright, alright. I like Dancing With Myself.”

You held back your squeal, “See, that wasn’t so hard and the world didn’t end! That’s my favorite happy song. I can’t ever get tired of it, it’s just an instant pick me up when I’m down and even when I’m not. What about ABBA?”

Eddie winced a little, “It’s—they’re a lot.”

You were pushing your luck, you’d known it when you asked but you nodded to yourself. “That’s okay, we’ll work on it. I’ll ease you in.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows, his teeth on full display as he laughed, “Oh, you will, huh?”

“Yeah, I mean, if we’re gonna be hanging out, we’re gonna have to listen to each other’s music, right?” You shrugged your shoulders but stared at him with a hopeful expression as you raised his leather jacket to cover your chest, despite how warm the van had grown as he drove. You liked having him close to you in this way.

Eddie’s eyes drifted from the road to soak you up, if the road hadn’t been empty you might have been concerned with just how long he kept his eyes off of it.

“Yeah. You’re right.” It came out as a whisper, almost. The rest of the ride was filled with a comfortable silence, you risked a couple of glances to find him still smiling and occasionally caught him looking at you, too. When you arrived at your house, you realized Eddie knew where you lived and you hadn’t even given him directions.

“Hey, how’d you know where I live?” You asked as you unbuckled yourself, surprised at how fast the seatbelt recoiled. Yeah, that shit was definitely broken.

��My buddy, Jeff, lives on this street and your car is pretty recognizable,” He nodded to where your purple bug was parked just ahead of where he’d pulled up. Still, it warmed you that Eddie drove past your house, saw your car and thought of you enough to remember.

“Oh, right. Well, thanks for the ride, Eddie.” You placed his jacket on the middle of the seat, besides the tapes as you opened the passenger door and hopped out, “Drive safe, okay?”

He nodded, looking a little less happy than you’d seen him that entire night. You closed the door and pushed yourself off the van, making your way up the driveway. You heard the sound of a door opening and closing then Eddie was shouting after you.

“Hey—wait a minute!”

You stopped just as you met the walkway that would lead you to your front door, “Yeah?”

Eddie had walked around to the other side of the van, leaning his back against the passenger side door where you had been moments ago, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. “You, um, wanna do something stupid? I mean—you wanna hang out? Sometime? With me? Just us? As friends, of course.”

You could feel the high, that only Eddie seemed to give you, returning and you grinned, flashing him your pearly whites as you nodded, “Yeah, I love doing stupid things, so I’d love to hang out. With you, specifically.”

Eddie grinned just as hard as you, his ankles crossing. “Great. We can plan it this week?”

You nodded again, “Sounds good to me.”

“Alright, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Eddie.” You couldn’t control the joy on your face as you continued up the walkway and unlocked your front door, slipping in and resting against it for a few moments as you let your happiness sink into your bones, the butterflies in your stomach all a flutter.

You peaked through the window on the side of the door and you could see Eddie still leaning against the passenger door of his van. He was still grinning, but it was directed down at the ground, then he threw his head back to rest against the window of the van and it looked like he was sighing happily before he walked around and got into the driver’s side. He gave your house one last look—you ducked to avoid being spotted—then he was pulling away from the curb and out onto the road, out of sight.

You stood up once he was gone, trying to ignore the void in your heart that seemed to form the moment he was gone and turned to head upstairs, jumping when you finally noticed your grandmother sitting on the coach and staring at you.

“Oh, I didn’t see you there.” But she didn’t say anything, only continued to fix you with her beady eyes.

You weren’t about to let her ruin your happiness, though.

You continued on your way to the stairs mumbling out a quick ‘night’—she didn’t deserve to have a good one—and once you got to your room, you let yourself fall onto the soft blankets of your bed, consumed with thoughts of long curls, soft, warm brown eyes, even warmer skin and how pretty Eddie’s teeth were when he smiled that wide.

You couldn’t wait ’til it was just the two of you again.

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the-apples-were-monitored · 1 month

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this is going to be a very uncomfortable and potentially triggering conversation so i suggest you scroll past if you have a lot of empathy because this isn't fun at all

also wanna preface this by saying i'm not interested in spreading conspiracy theories or "truther" claims because i feel that's incredibly disrespectful and potentially harmful to the people that need the most help. any allusions to unverified rumors will be presented as uncorroborated, not as fact (only bringing them up because i know that's the kind of rumor floating around and i don't want to seem like i'm participating somehow in dismissing concerns). because we simply don't know. and it's not our business.

i've had this bad feeling about amanda bynes for the past decade. it's the same pattern we've seen with child stars over and over again. the drugs, the mental breakdown, the conservatorship. but i pushed those nagging thoughts away. i didn't have the bandwidth at the time because i was living in an abusive household when her most public battles were happening. i didn't have the time or the emotional understanding to put towards what was happening to her even as i felt it mirrored what i was going through or what my mom was going through. then i found out about dan schneider a few years ago. i didn't really engage with the rumor and speculation about him - i was in my early 20s when this all broke and i didn't know most of the shows he'd been involved with except by the fact that my younger siblings watched them. i'd been an amanda bynes fan - hugely into the amanda show and what i like about you. my siblings watched drake and josh, icarly, and victorious. i didn't have the emotional bandwidth at the time to look into what people were saying. i knew it would upset me if i learned too much. but i couldn't stop thinking about amanda.

i heard about quiet on set from news websites. i saw the headlines about drake bell. it shook me to my core. the things i was reading were horrific and immediately put me in mind of what my sister went through as a teenage survivor of repeated sexual abuse by a man who was trusted with our care. she'd had a huge crush on drake when we were growing up. i wonder if she's heard about this.

this immediately made me think about amanda again. this time i couldn't push the thought away. i guess i'm finally ready to process the way this whole situation has felt to me.

the way people talk about amanda reminds me of how people in the 50s talked about judy garland. child star with incredible talent, far beyond her years, with incredible charm and personality and the whole world at her fingertips. everyone loved working with her. until she became erratic and had a mental breakdown fueled by drugs. (you could even argue there were parallels because both women were frequently typecast as the wholesome girl next door and not really allowed to break out of that infantilizing box.) and no one could ever think why. why does this happen.

i've come to believe that mental illness always has a cause. brain chemistry fucked up by trauma, whether that's long-term stress or a singular event or repeated traumas stacking on top of each other. the mind can't cope. i really, truly believe something horrific happened to amanda bynes. and i know people will say, well, maybe it wasn't dan schneider. she was doing fine for years after she stopped working with him. i want to make one thing very clear. trauma doesn't always manifest symptoms immediately. not everyone comes out of a trauma looking shell shocked. i know from my experience because i didn't have my breakdown until a year after my abuser was exposed and i'm still feeling the consequences to my psyche to this day. and i think it must be difficult for child stars to process this trauma. the pattern i've seen is the child star endures something terrible, gets incredible fame and begins taking on more and more pressure, then when this isn't enough to make them happy they turn to drugs. you think because they got out that it would all just go away? no. they were raised to play characters so they played those characters. there was incredible pressure to just play those characters because that's what the fans want. having struggles isn't part of the brand. it had to be especially rough on nick stars because there wasn't much separation between them and the characters they played. it was the amanda show. drake and josh used their real first names. the separation between who they were and who the character was was probably a very blurred line.

i wonder how long this documentary has been in production. tracking down these people and petitioning courts had to have taken ages. amanda was supposed to be at 90s con last year but cancelled due to illness and had another psychotic episode. 90s con itself may have been a trigger for her, but if someone had reached out to her or if she'd heard about this production...i could see that triggering her and making her relive the horror she went through. there are so many unsubstantiated rumors floating around. i can't speak to whether she was high on adderall during that interview when she was 12 (she could've just been a hyper child but they could've been pulling a judy garland on her and i don't trust these people plus she's said she got hooked on adderall when she was a teenager for weight loss but she may not feel comfortable disclosing if the studio has her under NDA). i can't verify if that side twitter actually belonged to amanda. it could be some sicko thought it was funny to accuse her boss of knocking her up and forcing her to get an abortion at 13 or accusing her father of various things.

but i get why she wouldn't speak up because people won't believe her no matter what she says. i went through something and people in my hometown still debate whether i'm crazy or lying for attention. my family did everything they could to put me under control and get me diagnosed as paranoid or delusional so they wouldn't face justice. (really don't get me started on how the mental healthcare system is used by abusers to cover up their sins.) i wouldn't put it past her parents to do that, especially considering amanda had a bad relationship with them as a teenager which sent her further into that groomer's clutches. she doesn't owe us anything because it'll start a firestorm that could retrigger her as people debate if she's delusional or scrutinize her past mistakes to determine if she's a perfect enough victim to deserve sympathy.

which brings me to drake bell. i knew he was the victim before i watched the doc but it still gave me chills when he sat down in that chair. like it felt like the air drained from the room. it was so obvious that what he went through has affected him so deeply and that he had no one to turn to. my abuser had so much community support, so many people making us out to be lying opportunistic bitches. i can't imagine having to carry that secret. i wonder if the people around him can pinpoint it in retrospect when he started being different. i want the other kids on set to know that it's not their fault they didn't know and that they had a bad opinion of him at some point. my sister and i were pitted against each other by the man who assaulted her and it's only with context later that i can see what was going on. i have no doubt that schneider employed these tactics so no one would feel comfortable disclosing what happened to them.

i admit that i cried watching the drake bell episode. that had to be incredibly difficult for him to open up about it after all these years and i hope he can get some closure and that someone starts a support group for these former nick stars.

and to drake bell himself. you were a child. you had no idea what grooming looks like. most grown people don't seem to know what grooming looks like based on how they talk about these issues. you are not at fault for what that man did to you or not knowing how to handle it. you didn't do anything to encourage this and you're not at fault.

and to his father. i appreciate that you did what you could to try to protect him. my mother had a similar experience trying to protect us from my abuser but everyone assumed she was psychotic and had her put away. try not to blame yourself when you were the lone voice of reason and everyone else insisted you were in the wrong. i do have fault to throw on amanda bynes' parents to some degree depending on what part of all this is true, but i can't find fault with drake bell's father who did try when he saw something wrong.

and i'm sorry but dan being super nice to drake afterwards seems like an attempt to make himself look better and get another hit show. i don't believe for a second that dan didn't know anything or that he had any motives beyond making his own star rise. he wanted to churn out product, and couldn't have that product if drake bell was visibly distraught.

i want to know how many people have known it was drake for 20 years and said nothing. how many people were in peck's side of the courtroom and yet still had the audacity to think this child was at fault in some way. that's vile and utterly unforgivable.

i just want to end this by saying to leave these people alone. don't harass anyone who hasn't spoken up because they may not be in a headspace where it's healthy of them to say anything. they don't owe us any explanation of why.

#this hit me incredibly hard i'm sorry #quiet on set #rape tw #abuse tw #i'm not addressing the jamie lynn spears rumors because it's ghoulish to speculate when she wasn't even a subject of the doc #i hope she's found some healing and honestly it is unforgivable how the public slutshamed a 16 year old #finding out from my sources that people at the time joked that dan knocked her up like #i'm sorry? you slutshamed her and made jokes and made light of a potential rapist???#i will throw hands #also asking people to not bring up the past actions of drake bell or amanda bynes in this discussion #they're not perfect victims but nobody is #a vulnerable child is a vulnerable child and i would like to live in a world where we focus on prevention so people don't grow up disturbed

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