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lavieenblancetnoir · 4 years

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Blind Dates

summary I Kageyama realizes that he is the last of his friends that is single. Yearning for something more than just volleyball, he goes on a series of not-so great blind dates in an attempt to attain a relationship. Will he find the one?

genre: ?

pairings: implied y/n x kageyama

word count: 1.5k

a/n: i hope you all enjoy my first haikyuu fic! i opened up my asks so please send in some requests, it can be anything!- i'd love to write some stuff up for you guys :)

“ I cannot believe this is happening “

Kageyama Tobio thought as he sat in complete and utter silence, his hands pressed tightly together in front of him. He was attending a reunion dinner of sorts with his former Karasuno teammates- or that’s what he thought it was supposed to be. Much of the old team had come, with exception of Nishinoya-who was out fishing somewhere in the world, however what he did not expect was for almost everyone to bring a “ plus-one ” or in other words: a significant other.

Surprisingly, Tanaka had gotten married first and even more surprisingly was that he got married to Kiyoko. And not too long after it had been Daichi tying the knot, to the previous captain of the girl’s volleyball team- Michimiya. Kageyama had scanned the table even further noting that every previous member had brought or at least had a significant other, all except for one. His eyes had then landed onto Hinata, realizing he didn’t know if the short wing spiker had someone or not.

Not realizing how much he had been leering, Hinata snaps him out of his thoughts, “ Kageyama, are you okay? “

“ Y-yes.. ”, he continued to leer at him. Should he ask? After another round of silence, he finally asked, “ Hinata… ”

“ Yes? ”

He internally cursed himself, “ Do… Do you have a significant other as well?

Hinata tilted his head to the side curiously before his eyes brightened and he confidently responded, “ Actually I have a date next week! “

Kageyama snapped, grabbing Hinata’s shoulders to violently shake him. “ You?! Of all people--How?! ”

The whole table gawked at what just happened, instantly remembering the interesting dynamics between the two. It’s been three years since highschool and they seem to not have outgrown these petty fights of theirs.

Slam!

Almost instantaneously the quarreling has ceased with Kageyama easing his chokehold on Hinata. Daichi had stood up from where he had been sitting with an all too familiar glare gracing his face. “ What.. Do you think you’re doing?! ”, he roared, immediately berating them for their behavior. Tsukishima began to snicker in the corner, drawing the table's attention to him. Kageyama glared at him knowing what’s about to come next.

“ Kageyama is just jealous that the shorty got a date before he did!,” the blonde laughed.

——

Kageyama idly stood outside the café, waiting for the date that Hinata graciously set up. He groaned, he still seriously cannot believe that Hinata got a date before him. The setter thinks he’s handsome? Or at least pretty alright looking, he had never given it much thought. For a male, he was definitely tall, driven, with a stable career -- those were all things attractive right? To be fair girls were never much of a concern to him up until now, he had volleyball after all. However as of late, he’d been seeing so many of his friends get into serious relationships. Seeing them have someone to support and cherish seems to be different..?

He sighed and looked down at his phone. Whoever Hinata set me up with is late.

Scanning around the area he saw no one in a hurry- maybe he got stood up. Looking down at his phone again, he debated whether or not he should just leave. Not soon after, a timid looking girl with glasses appeared, “ K-Kageyama? “

The date was awkward. Sato Aoi was a girl of few words, much like himself, though this led to a very uncomfortable date. Aoi was just shy whereas he was socially-awkward, not to mention that they literally had nothing in common, making their outing difficult to say the least. Now- she was definitely a nice girl, it was just literary theories and all that mumbo jumbo simply does not process and never will in his poor head.

Kageyama absentmindedly walked into the locker room, leaving his team wondering what exactly is wrong with their setter. Maybe dating is just not something for him right now and, as much as it pained him to think, maybe it would never be. He quite visibly shook his head at these thoughts. Briskly walking to his locker to change, he saw Ushijima begin to do so as well. Even back in highschool, Kageyama observed that they both were similar in some ways from their stoic nature to their desire to dominate in volleyball. One difference unfortunately, was that Ushijima was very much engaged. He let out an exasperated groan.

“ Kageyama-kun. ”

“...”

——

He found himself yet again waiting for another blind date set up by none other than Hoshiumi- who listened in on his conversation with Ushijima. Kageyama grimaced at the memory as he remembered the outside hitter’s loud voice piercing through the locker room as he exclaimed stuff about “ finding him a hook-up. ”

Kageyama looked up from the table he was sitting at, his eyes wandering the lobby of the lavish hotel. It was a rather odd place to have a date, he couldn’t fathom what exactly is so appealing about having a date here. Lost in his thoughts, he almost missed the woman who traced a line across his back before she waltzed in front of him.

“ Kageyama Tobio? “

He nodded stiffly, his eyes widening at the woman that had appeared in front of him. She was a looker, he’d give Hoshiumi that much. Sitting up straighter he couldn’t help but notice how well fitting her attire was, everything she wore to how she did her hair perfectly accented every feature. Conversation seemed to flow better with this Watanbe Yume, mainly due to her outgoing nature. There was not much they had in common but it was much easier to grasp and far more interesting than literary theory. He found her to be sure of herself, well-versed in many things, and a woman of culture from what grasped from her stories of travelling the world. Though he did notice she was a bit too touchy, finding her constantly playfully nudging him and such.

A flirtatious smile graced her face as she placed a hand on Kageyama, drawing him out from his thoughts.

“ Let’s go upstairs Tobio? ”

“ What? ”

“ Don’t you want to have some fun? ”

——

Kageyama must have been desperate, really desperate. He found himself waiting yet again for someone--except this time it wasn’t a date. The setter had begrudgingly sought out help from the infamous Oikawa Tooru-- a talented setter who was just as talented with the ladies. He chugged his beer, knowing all too well for what’s to come. Luckily Oikawa seemed to be mindful of their tense relationship and opted for a lax bar setting rather than a restaurant to reconvene.

“ Tobio-chan~ ” Oikawa waltzed in with his nephew, Takeru, in tow.

Kageyama stared at him and did not say anything. Did he just bring a 13 year old to a bar with him? Picking up on his silent judging, and instantaneously igniting the hate felt before.

“ What? Have you never heard of a designated- ” Oikawa stopped to look at an equally judgemental Takeru before reasserting, “ Designated person to take care of you when you’re drunk! ”

“ Sure… ”

With that, both took swigs of beer before Kageyama divulged his failed blind dates.

——

Kageyama scowled. This was far from the “ perfect date ” that was promised. He knew he shouldn't have trusted his former upperclassmen. He should've known all the girls he knew were a part of his " fanclub. " How Oikawa kept a steady following since highschool and while he was in Argentina was beyond him.

“ And then Oikawa- ”

If Kageyama learned how to do anything from these blinddates, it would be how to tune someone out. He was tired, the poor guy had gone out on three consecutive dates, and still no luck. At this point, why even try? Soon enough the date was over and while Kageyama had the decency to stay for the whole duration of it, he wanted to claw his ears out hearing that much praise for Oikawa. He stayed within the tiny restaurant that he just had his date in, thank god he suggested it.

This time Kageyama had picked the place out instead of allowing his so-called date. He thought perhaps that the quaint nature of his favorite spot to eat would bring some level of comfort or some type of luck- or bring him the one. He found that groaning and sighing was a constant action the last couple of days. And of course, all of this was ranted to the waitress he often saw working there. Being a regular, Kageyama had naturally grown to know some of the workers especially (y/n) who was similar in age to him.

You were around the same age, a college student pursuing a music degree. The two of you got along quite well especially since you both had much of the same views and drive towards your respected goals. He took a sip of his drink and sunk back into his chair, watching you giggle at his dilemma.

“Maybe you’d enjoy going out with me instead,” (y/n) joked before picking up his empty cup and walking away.

His eyes widened. Oh shit, you were there the whole time.

Kageyama then stumbled to his feet after you, knowing that you were the one he should have been asking out.

#haikyuu x reader #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #hq x y/n #hq x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x you #hq headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu scenarios #kageyama tobio imagine #haikyuu fluff #god i still cannot believe i stayed up till 3 am #kageyama definitely kept his awkwardness into adulthood #oops forgot a tag #haikyuu x y/n #please request stuff i wanna write more

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cresolphthalein · 3 years

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#ya know your girl is still obsessed with someone 4 years later #bro i literally cannot stop thinking of him #sad that his wife left social media completely bc like I wanna see what’s going on #just cause i heard that stupid song #oh fuck now i’m thinking of that german guy at the conference #bro i hate my new ta but am i going to obsess for the *nostalgia* and *authority issues*#bro i have a lot of feelings oh my god and it’s like all my attraction to men is hitting me at once?!?#I cannot believe i stayed up till 3 AM obsessing over this

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cazimagines · 3 years

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A Freudian Slip - Part 3

Part 1, Part 2

Masterlist

Synopsis: While a fight breaks out Zemo asks you to run away from him, you accept leaving on an eventful journey with him

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Smut

Author’s note: A final 3rd installment for ‘A Freudian Slip’ I hope you all have enjoyed this brief series! Next to come out is a sequel to ‘Perfectly Exasperating’

Bucky carried Zemo back into the house bridal style, his hands gripping tightly around Zemo’s legs and chest, and dropped him onto the sofa in the midst of the room. Zemo was knocked out from when John Walker had the brilliant idea to stop Zemo from smashing all the super-soldier serum by chucking his shield at him. You could see a nasty bruise forming on the top of his head where he was struck.

You gently run your fingers over the side of his face. At this moment he looked so peaceful sleeping, his lips pulled up into a natural slight smile, parts of his hair dangled down across his forehead, his face softened and not tensed like it usually appeared to be. You brush the hair back into its usual place, running your fingers over his feverish forehead.

You turn to Bucky and Sam, whose eyes burn into yours, millions of questions flashing through them, yet they remain unspoken. “I’ll look after him,” you tell them, turning your gaze back to Zemo's peaceful form. It was easier to stare at him than them at the moment.

“You and Zemo have been spending a lot of time together,” Sam states, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Because I’ve been making sure he doesn’t betray us,” You snap back, refusing to look at them

“Sam and I have been doing that as well and you haven’t seen us giving him bedroom eyes,” Bucky argues back, stepping forward, but Sam grabs a hold of his arm to stop him from going further.

“Look y/n, we’re just concerned about you. That guy a criminal, he could easily manipulate you,”

Your eyes flash to him angrily, “You think I would be easy to manipulate,”

“No, that’s not what I meant-” Sam says but Bucky interrupts him

“Yes. I know him, y/n, that is exactly something he would do. You can’t trust him,”

“I’ve told you already, I’m just making sure he doesn’t betray us. There’s nothing else. I’d appreciate it if you believed me,”

They sigh in defeat, glancing at each other, then back to you. “Look, I will not argue with you. Go get him the things he requires. Bucky and I need to check to see if we can find Karli. I might get a chance to talk to her again” Sam says and he and Bucky turn their backs, sending one last concerning look at you over their shoulders then disappearing.

You sigh looking back to Zemo who still slept peacefully unaware. A smile tugged on your mouth, but it twisted to a frown. You all knew damn well you had been lying. Whether you wanted to admit it, you liked Zemo. Every time you saw him, the urge to kiss his lips pulled you in. You could still feel his embrace, his kisses on your neck, shoulders, collar. The sensation of him inside you, touching you. You craved it more and more like he was your addiction.

You don’t know how you hadn’t gotten to this point of being so obsessed with him, where it had kicked in. You always found him attractive, from when you first laid your eyes on him as he broke out of the prison, you felt that attraction pull to him. You never expected it would be anything more though till that one embarrassing moment when you called him daddy in the undercover mission. You could still feel your cheeks burn up in embarrassment as you remembered that night, but you could also feel your body warm up as you thought about what happened in the alleyway. How he kissed you so passionately. So earnestly.

You had tried to deny your feelings, pretend it wasn’t there, and that kiss that never happened, but Zemo would not let you avoid him. Your eyes flickered to the bathroom and your breath hitches as you remember the intimacy you two spent together there. It was there you felt you truly saw Zemo for the person he was. A man who was lonely and broken from his past. A man who cared for you no matter what Sam or Bucky says.

You felt so scared when you saw the shield hit Zemo. Panic gripped your heart as you rushed over to him. John peered down at you like you were dirt as you cradled Zemo’s head in your lap. Sam and Bucky had run up to you and were surprised you were on your knees holding his head in your hands.

As you were observing him, Zemo's eyes cracked open, and he moaned in discomfort, bringing his hand to rub his eyes. Leaping up, you shouted at him to stay still as you fetched a flannel, running it under cold water, and brought it back to him.

He smiled as you handed him the flannel, the sides of his lips curling up like a cat. “Thank you” he mumbles.

“I’ll get you a drink,”

“You’re being very kind to me y/n,”

“Don’t get used to it,”

He snickered at your sudden switch to hostility, “Will we constantly be bouncing between kindness and hatred?”

You exhale, sitting down beside him, handing a glass of whiskey to him. “I don’t hate you, Zemo, though I really should. There’s something about you I just love and I can’t let go.”

You hesitate, both of you pondering over your sudden confession. Zemo raises the flannels of his eyes and looks over at you. His eyes, which are full of wonder, scan yours. You wanted to look away, embarrassed, but you couldn’t. You didn’t want to keep running away from how you felt.

“You terrified me earlier. I thought John Walker had killed you.”

His eyes switched to concern as his eyebrows furrowed, “I’m sorry I frightened you y/n. I- I never thought I would ever get over my wife and... I still love her but you enthrall me, you drive me wild because I want to know everything about you, feel all of you, touch all of you. It’s been so long since I felt this way and it frightens me.”

You reach out your hand to grasp his and he runs his thumb over your knuckles,

“Zemo I-”

The door opens and both yours and Zemo’s head snaps towards it as Sam and Bucky walkthrough. As quick as lightning, you let go of Zemo’s hand and strode away to the opposite side of the room. Zemo’s eyes sadly glance at you, then to his hand, and he lets out a sigh. He takes a sip of his drink, then pulls the flannel back over, his eyes settling down on the sofa.

Bucky rolls his views and wanders off while Sam grabs a seat at the table to work on his laptop. The silence was suffocating. At least for you. Sam seemed to try hard to concentrate on the laptop, but Zemo relaxed, sipping his drink and you pulled out your phone, playing a silly game to waste away the time.

“Were you ever offered it?” Zemo finally asks Sam. Sam’s gaze leaves the laptop looking at you, then over to Zemo.

“What?”

“The serum,”

“No,”

You glance between them, not knowing if you should leave or not. Sam didn’t seem to want to be engaged in a conversation, but Zemo wasn’t taking the hint.

“If you had been, hypothetically, that is, would you have taken it?”

Without a second hesitation, Sam replies, a harsh tone to his voice, “No”

“No hesitation. That’s impressive,” Zemo says, nodding in approval.

He raises his hand, taking off the flannel with a slight grunt, “Sam,” he says as he holds the flannel in his hand, his gaze unwavering from it.

“You can’t hold out hope for Karli. No matter what you saw in her. She’s gone. And we cannot allow her and her acolytes become yet another faction of gods among real people. Super soldiers cannot be allowed to exist.”

You look down to the ground, frowning at Zemo’s words, but Sam answers without hesitation, “Isn’t that how god's talk?"

Zemo’s eyes continue to glare down at the flannel, for once not speaking up.

“And if that’s how you feel, what about Bucky?”

“Blood isn’t always the solution” Sam finishes as you hear a door click in the background. As Bucky walks in, you get up and walk over to Zemo again, who sits up to let you sit beside him. He gently places his hand on your knee, your eyes flickering to each other, hiding the action enough so the others don’t see. Though you both say nothing because of the present company, it’s as if you could read each other's thoughts. You were both conflicted on what path to follow and because of that, you found solace in each other.

“Something’s not right about Walker,” Bucky mutters, shrugging off his jacket.

“Like we hadn’t known that from the start,” you mumble

“Well, I know a crazy when I see one. Because I am crazy,”

“Can’t argue with that,” Sam agrees

The two argue about the shield once again and you were preparing to stop them when the doors once again burst open and John Walker and his partner storm in. All your heads turn towards the disruption and you groan in frustration at seeing him.

“All right. That’s it. Let’s go. I’m ordering you to hand him over,”

Both Sam walks out in front of John to stop him from getting nearer Zemo. You stood up to go stand by him as well, but Zemo grasps your hand as he gets up, shaking his head. Your eyebrows turn down confused, but he doesn’t offer you an explanation.

With his other hand, he hands the bottle of whiskey over to you, then picks up his glass, dragging you over to the kitchen counter. You weren’t paying attention to what Sam and John were saying till a spear flew past them, imbedding in one pillar.

Your eyes widened as you saw Dora Milaje storm in.

One of them speaks in Wakandan to Bucky, obviously pissed. “Release him to us now” she orders in English. Zemo’s eyes glance anxiously from yours to them, his mind swarming with thoughts of how to get out.

“Hi, John Walker. Captain America.” John says walking over to them. They refuse to say anything to him, so he looks awkwardly away.

“Well, let’s uh put down the pointy sticks and we can talk this through, huh?” he says, patronising them. You wanted to facepalm because of his stupidity.

“Hey, John. Take this easy. You might want to fight Bucky before you tangle with the Dora Milaje,” Sam warns

John Walker however doesn’t listen. He proceeds to antagonise them till he finally places a hand on her shoulder and all hell breaks loose.

Both you and Zemo stand at the side watching John Walker fight them. Zemo sips his whiskey and offers you a sip. You smile slightly at his nonchalant attitude about the fight, letting him raise the glass to your lips as you drink.

Both Sam and Bucky eventually join in the fight as well, and once again you move to join them, but Zemo’s grip on your hand tightens. “Not now little one” he mutters

He peers around, watching the fight as you stare questionably at him, “Zemo what the hell is up with you today. Did that hit to the head get rid of your common sense” you whisper angrily trying to tug your hand out of his. Zemo rolls his eyes at you, clasping your hand.

“We need to go” he whispers urgently and tries to tug you towards the bathroom.

“What? Zemo, Zemo wait. What do you mean we?” You ask, grounding your feet into the floor.

He looks around at the fighting, his skin becoming whiter as he gets more worried. “We don’t have a lot of time y/n, please. I need you to come with me,”

You didn’t know where he wanted to go, or how he was planning on leaving, but you could see fear prickling in his eyes as he looked at you.

“What about Sam and Bucky?”

“They will be okay. Please y/n, I want to spend this time with you. I don’t want to do this alone,”

You stare into his eyes once more, then nod, finally making your choice.

You let him lead you back into the bathroom and close the door behind him. He quickly pushes the bath aside, revealing a passageway into the sewer.

“Ugh,” you say to yourself as you look down the hole. “Ladies first,” Zemo says, placing his hand on your back, the side of his lip curling up into a smile as he guides you over to the hole.

You shoot him a glare before grasping onto the ladder and clambering down as fast as you could, trying your best not to slip.

After a minute you reached the bottom of the ladder and Zemo arrived quickly after. It was so dark down there, but thankfully Zemo had a flashlight in his coat. Once again grabbing a hold of your hand, he guides you down a pathway.

“So this was the best escape plan you had?” you ask, your nose wrinkling at the unpleasant smell

“I’m sorry y/n, did you have a better plan?” he replies sarcastically

“Well, I didn’t know I was running away with you until a minute before,”

Zemo pauses, beaming the light on your face, making you cringe. He lowers it slightly. So it wasn’t in your eyes but still illuminated your face.

“I owe you a thank you for coming with me. I know it wasn’t a simple decision to leave your friends for a person you meet just a few days ago,”

“When you put it like that, you make me feel even crazier for making this decision,” you grumble

“But it’s okay Zemo, Sam and Bucky will be fine without me, and I wanted to be with you,”

Zemo raises his hand to cup the side of your face, his thumb running along your cheekbone. Quickly he pulls you to him, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. His spare hand holding the flashlight wraps around your waist as he holds you there, moving his lips on yours, which you reciprocate.

As suddenly as it had started, it ended. He pulled away slightly, his lips still brushing against yours. “Thank you, little one”

His nickname for you sends shivers along your spine and you let out a husky breath. He smirks at you, turning around, and continues to walk down the pathway.

Eventually, you reach another ladder that you can climb up. You blink a lot as you emerge into the sunlight, finding yourself on a random road.

“What now?” you ask

Zemo walks over to a car, jumping into the driver's seat, and pats the passenger seat next to him. As you get in beside him he easily hot wires the car and gets the engine started.

“So have lots of experience stealing cars?” you ask Zemo and he chuckles, “When you become a criminal you pick up a lot of new skills,”

“I suppose aiding with the escape of a criminal now makes me one as well. You bring about a lot of surprises,”

“I’ve been told I am quite surprising,” he glances at you, smirking as he drives, “And seductive,”

You slap the side of his arm lightly, “Eyes on the road, mister”

“Mister? I think I prefer what you called me before. Hm, what was that again?”

You groan as Zemo brings up that embarrassing night for you, “You’ll never let that go, will you?”

“You calling me daddy? Of course not. I quite like it,”

“Where are we even going?” you ask trying to direct the conversation somewhere else

Zemo turns from looking at you to the road, the smile on his face slowly fading.

“Sokovia,”

Your breath hitches as he says the name of his country, bringing back the reminders of his previous family.

“I want to see the memorial,”

You nod quietly, not sure what you could say.

For the next ten minutes, you two sit in uncomfortable silence. All previous moments where you were having fun had faded. Eventually, Zemo sighed in frustration and made a sharp turn in the car, pulling into a secluded spot on an empty road.

He turns off the car and turns to face you. “It seems to me we need to talk,”

You look to him then away, “I don’t think so”

“Y/n” he growls

“I said we don’t need to talk!” you shout, glaring at him, but you snap your lips shut as you realised how much anger had suddenly built up in you.

Recognition flashes in Zemo’s eyes as he stares at you, “This is about my family, isn’t it?”

You look away, your cheeks burning as you knew how ridiculous you were being.

Zemo nods his head, looking at the road ahead as he thought over what to say.

“You are part of the reason I want to go to the memorial,” he finally admits

It was your turn to look at him, puzzled. He pushes his lips together as he prepares for what he wants to say next.

“I love my family. Every day, I miss them. But I also really like you y/n. You are someone I want to spend all my time and money on just to make you happy. Every time I look at you, I want to take you, no matter where we are. And I feel I owe it to my family to visit the memorial to pay respect and to accept that it is okay for me to move on,”

It felt like with his words he had lifted an enormous weight off of your shoulders. Tears sprung to your eyes and Zemo looked panicked noticing them but you grinned, placing your hand on his shoulder.

“Thank you, Zemo,”

His fingers run along your arms and up to your face, tracing your jawline. His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips and slowly move forward towards you. Once again he captures your lips with his but this time it was gentle like he was trying to savior you. You grasp the fur parts of his coat and try to pull him closer, you can feel through your kiss him smirking.

“Would you prefer to take this to the back seat?” he rasps and you nod your head quickly. You pull away from the kiss, shifting in your seat so you can clamber onto the long seat at the back of the car. Zemo holds onto your waist as he follows you through the back. He sits down on the seat and pulls you onto him so you were straddling his waist. His hands grip tighter to your hips as you go back to making out with him while you ground on his lap, feeling wetness stain your pants.

You smirked into the kiss as you felt Zemo’s trousers stiffen and a bulge appear as you grinded on him.

“Let go of me Zemo,” you sigh as you pull away from the kiss, hesitantly Zemo lets go of your waist curious to see what you were planning. It was hard positioning yourself with the limited space you two had in the car, but you sat on your knees, pushing his legs apart as you settled between them. You reach up and tug down the zip on his trousers, exposing his boxers. Zemo sits back and watches you as you tug them down, exposing his member.

Already some pre-cum had leaked from it, which you gladly licked up, running your tongue along its side. You traced the vein that stuck out, feeling it pulse against your tongue. Teasing him, you flick your tongue over the tip, hovering your lips just around it but not going further.

Zemo finally moves, impatiently he grasps your hair in his hand and pushes you down onto his member, making you take all of him. He lets out a groan, his eyes fluttering shut as he rolls his head back as he felt the heat of your tongue on his member. You suck your cheeks in to give him more pleasure as he pumps your head up and down so that his member could go in as far as it could.

You grasp his tights to position yourself better. You could feel aching between your legs as you longed for more, but at the moment all you wanted to do was please him. Zemo pushed your head faster, grunting, feeling pleasure swarm over him. He then suddenly pulled you off his member, grabbing your arms he lifted you, getting off the seat and pushing you on so you were lying down on your back.

“Forgive me little one” he purrs as his hands roughly grasp at your trousers and quickly pushes them down, exposing your pants. “I need to feel inside you” He runs his finger up them chuckling feeling the wetness soaking through.

“Do you have a condom?” he asks, looking in your eyes, “We don’t need one” you gasp, the urge to feel him swarming you.

“As you wish,” he says, immediately pushing your pants aside and slipping into you.

You moan feeling him stretch you out but as soon as he was in you he drew back almost completely out of you but snapped his hips back into you. He thrusts with all the strength he has, pushing your body up and down on the seat.

You wrap your hands around his back, your nails digging into his back as your body moves up and down with him. His head settles on your shoulder, where he leaves hickies. Every time he pulls back from kissing and biting you he would whisper things in Sokovian that you couldn’t understand but you were sure were endearing.

His fingers snaked down to find your clit and rubbed it, sending shock waves of pleasure to your brain. You let out a loud moan as you felt the knot in your stomach tightening. As if knowing you were close, Zemo's hips thrust deeper into you, hitting the right spot to make you let loose, your walls clamping down on him as you came. He groans into your neck, feeling your walls flutter around him. His thrusts grew more erratic till you could feel him twitch in you and his seed spill into you.

He pants heavily, finally looking you in the eyes. “I love you little one,” he whispers

You smile, placing a kiss on the side of his face, “I love you too... daddy”

He chuckles and finally gets off you.

The car drive after that was comfortable. Zemo liked to drive with one hand on the wheel while the one hand resting on your thigh, as if reminding you, you belonged to him and only him. Hours later, you finally arrived at the memorial.

Holding your hand, Zemo walks up to the sculpture. He speaks to himself in Sokovian first, getting whatever he needs to say off his chest. After that he turns to you, his eyes capturing yours as they were glazed with tears, “The loss of my country, of my family, broke me y/n, but in some twisted way I am not as upset as I was about it before because it led me to you. I don’t blame you for any of it, I know you had nothing to do with the Sokovian attack just like Sam and James. I’m so glad I could spend these last moments with you.”

You look at him confused, “These last moments?”

You suddenly hear footsteps approaching and you quickly spin around, seeing Bucky appearing behind you. Your head snaps back to Zemo. “Zemo what the hell is going on!?”

He smiles sadly at the floor, then back at you, grabbing your hands. “I’m afraid I must ask something hard of you y/n. Please, can you leave”

The breath left your lungs; it felt as if your entire chest dropped hearing his words.

“... What,”

“I don’t want you to witness what must happen next,”

Your gaze flickers from Bucky who was standing back letting you two have your moment to Zemo who looked desperately at you.

“I’m not leaving you, Zemo,” you state

“Y/n…”

“NO!” you shout

“Y/n I-” Bucky says walking forward, but one death glare from you quickly shuts him up.

“How could you ever ask something of me like that, especially after... after everything that has happened,”

“I should have told you y/n, I’m sorry, but I needed to spend these last moments with you because you are so special to me, I didn’t want to ruin the moment by telling you what was to come,” tears gush from your eyes as you shake your head at him, He steps closer to you, holding your head in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears.

“And because I love you, I don’t want you to see this. You know there is no other way out of this. It has to happen, and it’s okay, I’m ready. Just like I could with my wife, I know you’ll be able to move on and find someone who will give you everything I can’t and never will because you deserve so much better than me,”

“I love you,” you whisper, the hot tears spilling down your cheeks. Your eyes examine every detail of his face, trying to ingrain everything in your mind.

“I love you little one,”

He pulls you into one last kiss, gentle, but the romantic moment drowned in sadness.

You pull away. Turn around. You don’t look at him. You can’t because you know if you do you won’t be able to leave. You glare at Bucky though you know as well as Zemo it isn’t his fault. You walk a slight distance, just enough so that they are out of sight, and then you collapse on the floor.

Your hands into the ground, pulling at the dirt as you let all your pain out, trying to hold in your sobs. How is it you had fallen for that man so quickly? You loved him; you had risked giving him your heart, and he was pulled so quickly from you. You felt betrayed; he didn’t tell you what he was planning, but you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him for it either.

You don’t know how long you stayed there, but you opened your eyes when you felt a shadow fall over you. Looking up, you saw one member of the Dora Milaje looking down at you.

Your eyes widen in surprise, and then you gasp, connecting the dots. “Zemo'' you whisper, jumping off the ground and running back to where you last saw him. Sure enough, as you arrived you saw him being escorted to the Dora Milaje aircraft.

Hearing your footsteps, Zemo glances over at you. Sadness flickers in his eyes as he stops walking to look at you, but they grasp his shoulder, forcing him to look forward and to keep moving. You watch as they escort him away, till you couldn’t see him anymore.

Bucky walks over to you, looking at the floor guiltily.

“I’ll see him again,” you tell Bucky

“y/n I don’t think-”

“I’ll see him again, Bucky. You can count on that”

Taglist: @sinister-sleep @cable-kenobi @faustlyaccused @chipster-21 @icarusinstatic @yallgotkik @montypythonsholysnail @bunniwritesx @checkurwindow @huntheimpossible @jayxkelsi @avgravy @prestigious-tea @wonderwoman292 @there-goes-thefighter @multiyfandomgirl40 @freyjasamael @ineffablebean @aloyssia @hannahbal-the-fannibal

(I can't tag some of you, I'll keep trying but maybe check your invisibility)

#zemo #helmut zemo #baron zemo #zemo x you #zemo fluff #zemo fanfic #zemo smut #zemo imagine #zemo x y/n #i love zemo #zemo x reader #tfatws #marvel #daniel brühl #mcu

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lilith-of-rivia · 3 years

Text

The Bards Sister Geralt XFemale!Reader Part 1

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Masterlist

Summary: Geralt of Rivia and his long time travel companion Jaskier find themselves in Jaskiers home land. A place geralt had not only never seen nor heard of. Jaskier is ready to reunite its his family after traveling and exploring the world for 20 years. The one person he missed the most was his baby sister (Y/N). Who he hadnt seen since she was 5. The journal is long, but the pay off is grander then they would ever be able to predict. I know i am trash at summaries.

Trigger warnings: NONE a lot of Geralt and Jaskier in this first part. Your charicter doesn’t come in till closer to the end.

Pairings: GeraltxReader JaskierxSister!reader

Word count: 6,095 longest fanfic I’ve ever written!!

A/N: hello my loves!!! I got my Insperation back!! I’m hopping i will be regularly posting agin!!! I ove you all so much you consistent love and supoort has not gone unnoticed. The constant likes and reblogs truly means the world to me. I love every single one of you so much. Thank you for believing in my writing the way you do. All my love -Lilith ps. I have reviewed and edited but I will be doing a more in-depth review soon!

“Where are we going, Jaskier.” The Witcher’s brooding voice echoed threw the flowered valley. His horse trotted not far behind his companion. Jaskier looked back at him and just rolled his eyes.

“How many times have you led me on endless roads, towards the middle of nowhere speaking little to no words to me no matter how much I ask?” Geralt said nothing. Jaskier snorted looking back towards the road.

“Exactly. No shut up, your brooding is giving me a headache.” The bard was giving the witcher a taste of his own medicine. The idea that Jaskier was leading him to somewhere he had no idea of the location, made him uneasy. Did he trust his bard? Absolutely without a doubt. Would he ever admit it to him? No never.

Their travels continued till the sun was barely hanging in the sky. The air had grown crisp replacing the harsh burning of the full summer sun. Jaskier pulled his mare to the side of the road, climbing off her, tying her to a tree. Geralt followed, realizing they were stopping for the day.

“We still have a couple hours of daylight left.” Geralt said as he took Roach’s saddle and tack off.

“We don't need a couple hours, we are nearly there. Maybe an hour and half.” Geralt cocked an eyebrow at Jaskier.

“Then why did we stop?” Jaskier pulled his saddle bags off his horse, putting them beside a log as he gathered some sticks for the fire.

“Because I have to debrief you as to who we are going to see and you must bathe before we do so. The stream here will do the trick.”

“Gods Jaskier, will you just tell me where we are going? The secrecy is bullshit.” The broot of a man was losing his patience with his friend.

The duo had been on the trip for nearly two weeks. They left Tramieria and headed east. Much further east than Geralt could ever remember traveling. Yet the bard seemed to know exactly what turns to take and when. The closer they drew to their destination the more the witcher could hear his heart beat faster.

“Jaskier if this is some stupid plot for me to protect you from some man who’s wife you slept with again-“

“It's not Geralt-“ Jaskier pinched the bridge of his nose, his stress causing a minor headache. “Just go bathe then I’ll tell you everything.” Geralt studied his friend, his eyes searching his face, his ears tuning into his heart beat trying his best to figure out what he was getting himself into.

With a low grunt the witcher grabbed his last set of clean clothes and the bar of soap from the bard's hand before stomping off to the river.

“Clean EVERYTHING!” Jaskier yelled over his shoulder. Only getting an unfriendly finger in return.

Nearly an hour later, the sun was completely hidden behind the canyon, the glow of the fire Jaskier started illuminating their small camp. Jaskier’s fingers strummed mindlessly at his lute, his eyes fixed on the stars that were making their presence known more, humming to himself softly. He heard his friends footsteps as he approached, his hair was wet at his shoulders. A fresh white Cotton tunic hugged his muscular build, black trousers hugging his legs. He smiled nice for once. All thanks to the lavender and honey soap Jaskier had received as a gift.

“Now don't you look better.” Jaskier said with a chuckle. The witcher sat down across the fire from him, his golden eyes staring heavily at the bard.

“Spill your guts Jaskier.” Jaskier rubbed his hands over his face and nodded. His eyes looking anywhere but at his friend.

“I haven't been completely forward about my family life.” Jaskier’s eyes landed on the moon above them. It was nearly full, he was doing well with time. He knew they would reach their destination well before the next full moon.

“Jaskier.” Geralt’s harsh voice broke the silence. With a loud sigh Jaskier finally looked his friend in the face.

“I’m royalty Geralt.” The Witcher’s expression did not change. He just looked at his friend. He could hear Jaskier's heart beat become uneven and unsteady. At first he thought it was a joke but the nervous energy radiating from his long time friend made him think better.

“My family, they are wonderful people. My mother, bless her, taught me everything I needed to know about writing and music. Convinced my father to let me train at Oxenfurt Academy. My father is a noble and loyal king. He served our people well. Still does to my knowledge. I haven't been back in nearly 20 years…” the bard trailed off, his eyes fixated on his hands, his fingers twildilling with a ring he had on. The ring was that of his family. Their crest engraved into the gold.

“I was never meant to be a noble. I lived for adventure, for more than just sitting on a throne and watching people come and go. I was never fit to be king. My parents knew that. They understood. Understanding people they are.” His voice trailed off again, hopping his friend would say something. Ask a question. Anything. He didn’t know where to go next.

“Why didn't you ever tell me?” Geralt finally asked.

“Because it never came up. My family never needed me. I never needed them. I love them all dearly of course. But we were never the closest people in the world. Well, my sister and I were.” That caught the Witcher’s attention. His eyes narrow slightly, he made sure to not let his expression scare the bard into not telling him more. He was genuinely curious about his family. But he couldn't lie and say he wasn't disappointed that in the 7 years they traveled together he never heard of them.

“You have a sister?” The bard's eyes lit up. His memory raced with images of his tun little sister chasing him around the courtyard screaming, yelling his name. Her giggles and laughs pulling at his heart strings.

“Yes. Her name is (Y/N). She is about to be 25. Big age for a princess. I havnt seen her since she was very little.” His heart started to break softly. His neglect to his baby sitter weighting heavily on him.

“I write her often, as much as I can. She was...well, a surprise to my parents to say the least. I was 15 when she was born. I left home at 20. I was only around for her toddler years. I never got to see her grow, blossom into a young woman. I missed so much.” Jaskier had to fight back the tears, his throat becoming tight and dry. His body filling with regret.

“I just kept pushing it back Geralt. I alwasy said I’d make it home. I alwasy had it in the back of my mind to go back and see her. But I never did.”

“Why now?” Geralt asked.

“She wrote me a few months back. It was nearly a book. It was filled with tales of her new travels around our country. She had been training heavily with an unmanned matester of combat. She traveled the countryside with the man. She referred to him as an uncle. In the letter she asked me if it was true that I’d been traveling with you. She said the songs and tales of Jaskier the Bard traveling with the White Wolf made it to her ears.” Jaskier stopped talking for a brief moment, rummaged around his rut sack and pulled out a notebook. He untied its string and a large pile of papers fell out into his hand. He unfolded the parchment and scanned the writing.

“I wrote her back that week. Only to receive this in return.” He began to read;

“Oh dear Jaskier!! I cannot believe its true. I thought he was only a legend. The white wolf. Please tell him he is a hero here. We love his stories. Many have written books of him. Children run round calling themselves the butcher of Blaviken here to save the damsel and distress. I love his stories, mainly because they involve you. Please come visit me this year. I miss you terribly. I want to hear of your travels with the wolf. Mother said he is more than welcome to stay if he wishes to travel with you. I do miss you Jaskier. More than I think you know. I do not mean to guilt you or make you feel bad as i know you are traveling the world to your heart's content and would never want you to feel as though I do not support you-“ Jaskier stopped reading for a brief moment. A small tear dripped onto the page he was reading. Geralt listened to every word he read. He couldn't help the small tug of his lips when he read about the children pretending to be him. It was a breath of fresh air for the witcher. He had constantly been told he was a monster. To hid your children from him. Yet here was an entire country that loved him, yet he had no idea. Jaskier cleared his throat and continued. “But i miss my brother. And maybe, just maybe. I could come with you. If you deem me fit. I have been working tirelessly with a friend of fathers. He trains me in not only swordsmanship, but Herbology, and monsters as well. I can name nearly every monster that has inhabited the Continent and how to slay it. He thinks I’m ready to leave the nest and I think mother and father are getting a bit tired of me as well. I cannot stand another somber, dull, dinner party with nobles who look at me like a piece of meat. So please. Visit me soon. Come and stay a few days. Catch up with your dear sister and maybe, if he isn't too busy and if it doesn’t inconvenience him, bring the Wolf with you. He’d be a welcomed hero. All my love dear brother. Xoxo Love always, (Y/N) Irene Pankratz

Jaskier folded the letter, placing it inside his notebook before safely storing it inside his sack again. He ran a hand over his face, his eyes slowly moving from his hands to his best friend. They sat in the silence for a while. Geralt’s brain replaying the words he had heard from his friend.

“You could have told me about her Jaskier. Why didn't you? You’ve been in contact with her all this time, planning to see her and your family again. Bringing me along for the ride, yet not a single word in 7 years. Do you not trust me with such a secret Jaskier?” Jaskier was taken aback by his friend's words.

He never knew his secrecy would have such an impact on his friend. When it came to Geralt he learned long ago, the little words, the better. The witcher can only handle so much before he loses interest and stops listening or walks away. He never in a million years would have thought he cared about his life that much. It warmed the bards heart to know his dear friend, the only brother he ever had, cared that deeply for him.

“It has nothing to do with not trusting you Geralt. Is has everything to do with the shame I hold for not seeing her sooner. For treating her like a dirty secret form the world. There is no logical reason for me to keep my family such a big secret. Yet I have. For 20 years.” Geralt’s hands rubbed together softly as he listened to his friend. He understood the secrecy. He was a box full of secrets that nobody could get into.

“Its okay Jaskier. I understand the secrecy. Is that where we are going tomorrow?” Jaskier nodded, a smile appearing on his face.

“Her birthday is the next full moon. I’m hoping my gift will be a good start in time lost.” Geralt looked at him curiously. He hadn't noticed any major item in Jaskier’s possession that could make a good gift for a young princess.

“You’re her gift Geralt. I wrote her back after that letter and told her I’d be back for her next birthday. But that you simply were to busy with your work. I told her that you greatly appreciated her support and that youd consider writing to her in the future. She has no idea your coming with me.” Geralt didnt know how he felt about being a gift. He never ever saw himself as a gift to anyone. More of a burden the a gift. He shook his head at Jaskier and tutted at him.

“Jaskier if your that broke you could’ve asked me for a few extra coins for a real gift.” The witcher attempted to joke with the bard. It made Jaskier smile more. Geralt could be funny, but his humor was incredibly dry, much like Jaskier’s father.

“Geralt! Did you just try and joke around with me??” Geralt rolled his eyes, laying down stretching his muscles as he looked up at the starts.

“Best get some sleep Jaskier, you’ve got a rather big family reunion tomorrow.”

The next morning Jaskier was up and awake before Geralt, a rare sight. He truly hadn't slept more than a couple hours that night. His nerves kept him awake. He feared his sister wouldn’t be as loving as he pictured, she had every right to be mad at him, hate him even. By the time Geralt was up, Jaskier had bathed, changed and had his horse completely ready to go.

Geralt had to do everything in his power to not laugh at his friend. He looked rather ridiculous. His normal bright attire was replaced with a royals outfit. A green and blue velvet tunic and some extremely uncomfortable looking black trousers. His hair was combed back and his face was freshly washed. He even cleaned under his fingernails. He looked rather ridiculous in Geralt’s opinion. He couldn't help the low chuckle that left his lips as he put his bed roll away.

“I don't understand why you're laughing. I have some clothes for you to put on as well.” Geralt’s expression changed instantly, from humorous to angry.

“No. Absolutely not. What I’m wearing is perfectly fine. I’d wear it to meet any king or queen.” A bag was chucked at him, he barely caught it before it smacked into his face.

“This isn't any normal king and queen Geralt. This is my family. And besides, you are no ordinary witcher in my kingdom, you’ll be treated as royalty there. You may as well look the part.” Geralt huffed and threw the bag of clothes back at his friends feet, glaring daggers at him. He hated dressing up with a burning passion. Everything was too tight, not easy to fight in. If anything happened he’d have to rip the seams on every piece of clothing to be able to maneuver his weapons properly. And fancy clothes dont have space for weapons. He didn't like that one bit. Jaskier looked at his friend. His eyes pleading with him.

“Please Geralt. Just for today and her birthday. I couldn't care less what you wear at any other point on this trip.” He had walked closer to Geralt now. About a meter away from him. He extended his hand, the bag in his hand. Geralt looked from the bag to his friend. His teeth and jaw clenched.

He let out a loud huff and grabbed the bag from the bard.

“Fine.” He said through gritted teeth and began taking off his clothing. Jaskier smiled before turning his attention to Roach, getting her stalled and tacked so when Geralt was dressed they could leave.

“If we move with a bit of a haste we could make it there before breakfast.” Jaskier said as he mounted his horse, looking at his friend. His hand slapped over his face. The witcher looked utterly ridiculous in his new attire. The bright red and orange vest a-top a cream tunic, his legs tight in some disgustingly ugly corduroy pants. The pants were obviously smaller than the seamstress he bought them off claimed them to be. The ends of the pants came nearly mid calf on Geralt’s legs. His pasty white ankles and feet shining in the early morning sun.

“Jesus Geralt. Those are worse than the ones I got for Pavetta’s party.” The bard could no longer hold in his laughter. Did Gerarlt look like a nobleman? Sure, but his size, white hair, and bright yellow eyes really didn't help the situation.

“Jaskier, I will kill you for this.” Geralt grumbled angered as he pulled his socks up his feet and over his calves. Luckily for him (and Jaskier) his boots went higher than his pants, making it harder to notice that the pants he was wearing were way too small.

“At least I’m not making you wear a big hat with a feather, those are truly hideous.” Geralt mounted Roach, more carefully then he normally does in fear his pants could bust at the seams.

“I had to wrap you up nice and pretty to present you to my sister.” Jaskier commented as he led his horse; Napoleon to the main road, Geralt and Roach in tow.

The two men rode in a comfortable silence for some time, but as they got closer and closer to Jaskier’s home, all Geralt could hear was his frantic heartbeat. Jaskier’s palms get sweaty and his throat dry, no matter how much water he drinks from his water skin.

“Jaskier. You need to calm down. Your fucking heart beat is driving me insane.” Geralt hissed. They could see the end of the valley they had been traveling in. Geralt looked out in the distance, his eyes saw the castle first. It was very far, but he could tell how beautiful it was from where they were.

“Maybe you just shouldn’t listen to it then.” Jaskier barked back.

“You know I have no control over it, idiot. Take a deep breath. I know you're scared, I understand. But from the sounds of it your sister desperately misses you, I don't think she would ask you to come see her if she was going to hate you.” Geralt didn't talk much at all, that everyone knew. He was a man of few words. But when he did speak it was wiser than most people ever expected. People tended to forget the age of the white haired man, as he stopped ageing physically in his late twenties.

Jaskier smiled softly at his friend's words, he listened to him and took a few deep breaths, calling himself down. Geralt was right. His sister seemed eager as ever to see him again.

The two men approached the entrance to the city. Geralt was more than shocked. He wasn't sure if he had ever seen a city so beautiful in his entire life. The streets were lined in beautiful stone, flowers, vines, greenery all around every corner. The banners that were hanging on the outside of the main gates caught Geralt’s eyes. The crests on them were brightly colored in greens and blues, a very large diamond in the center. Their horses rode into the entrance of the town. Jaskier’s heart was calm, steady, his face was bright and had a smile Geralt had never seen on him before. He was finally home.

“Welcome to Inritha (In-Rithe-A) the capital of Unthya (Un-The-A) Geralt. Welcome to my home.”

Their horses traveled down the stone brick road slowly, the city was buzzing already even with it being the early hours of the morning. Geralt was surprised to see everyone look so...happy, care free. Enjoying their lives. They looked as though nothing was a fret, no monster looming. Geralt was mesmerized by the city. The buildings were built out of what looked to him like limestone, a building material he so rarely saw in other parts of the Continent. The buildings were being taken over by vines and moss, flowers all over. He’d never seen so many butterflies in his life.

“Jaskier-'' his voice was barely a whisper, the bard turning to look at him as they rode side by side. Jaskier couldn't help but smile as his friend admired the beauty he himself had so easily forgotten over the years.

“I know, it's beautiful. I've forgotten myself.”

The two men continued riding their horses up the road closer and closer to the castle. The longer they road tho more attention they got from passer buys. Geralt could hear their whispers.

It couldn't be. Could it?

THE Geralt of Rivia? Here in Inritha?

Mummy look! It's the butcher!!

Has Prince Jaskier finally returned home?

For the first time in what seemed like his entire life, the hushed whispers Geralt heard as he rode through a city were not of hate and disgust. But of admiration and curiosity. The entire time Geralt and Jaskier rode through the city, he never once had the urge to grab either of his swords that were at his side.

The two men approached the gates of the castle, four armored guards stood outside. The put their hand up in motion for the men to stop. One who looked as tho to be the commander of sorts stepped forward poking between both men. Eyes lingering for a long while on the two.

“State your name and what business you have in Inritha at this early hour.” Jaskier dismounted his horse, waking a few feet forward.

“My name is Jaskier Alfred Pankratz son of Dastrill and Alvere Pankratz. This is my companion Geralt Of Rivia, we are here on behalf of my sister, (Y/N) Irene Pankratz’s 25th birthday.” Jaskier bowed his head lowly, keeping eye contact with the commander in front of him.

“Prince Jaskier?!?” The man clearly looked flustered and embarrassed for not recognizing the prince of his own kingdom. All four men quickly bowed their heads.

“Please accept my apology your highness, we welcome you home. As do we welcome your honored guest.” Jaskier smiled and told the men to not trouble themselves with an apology. Geralt continued to watch from atop Roach, still not use to being idolized instead of feared. Honored guest. Geralt thought to himself. He could get use to the new treatment. Jaskier remounted Napoleon the gates to the castle walls opening. The both road threw, all four men bowed their heads as the two walked threw. Not once did they threaten Geralt’s life. They were led by a guard to the stables where they left their horses.

Geralt could hear Jaskier heart beating again in his chest as they were led inside the castle. Geralt tried to concentrate on his friend, to be there for him but he couldn't help but let his eyes wander all over the castle's walls, it was a bright exterior. The walls polished, candles everywhere. Large windows allowing for natural lighting. Nothing dark or gloomy about the castle at all. He felt uplifted..cheary almost. As they neared the entrance to the grand hall where the King, Queen, Princess along with some others were. Geralt could hear the light conversation, and the clicking of silver on plates, they were eating breakfast. But he could still hear Jaskier’s heart beating in his chest. Geralt placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder as they walked, giving it a soft squeeze. The action made Jaskier more worried if the witcher was feeling alright, as it was abnormally out of character for the man. But he said nothing, appreciating the gesture.

They got to the door and just as the guard was about to push the doors open Jaskier grabbed his arm.

“Could we maybe skip the loud over dramatic announcements of my arrival? I have not seen my family in years.” The guard only nodded, bowed his head and walked back outside to his post. Jaskier looked over at his friend, as he put his hand on the door ready to push it open.

“Now or never.” Jaskier said as he opened the door. Both men walked into the large room, the talking stopped almost instantly. Geralt stood at the door, not wanting to impose on the important reunion of his friend and his family. He followed Jaskiers gaze to the table ahead of them in the front of the room. The room was lined with huge floor to ceiling windows, the light of the early morning sun shone brightly making the marble floors glisten.

“JASKIER!!!” The loud scream of a girl nearly made Geralt jump out of his skin, his hand reaching back for a sword that wasn't there in instinct.

It made Jaskier jump but the smile that covered his face was even bigger than the one he had seen as he walked through the city. Geralt followed Jaskier’s gaze to a young woman. The sight of her alone made Geralt want to pass out. He wasn't sure if he had ever seen someone so beautiful in his entire life. Her hair was the same chestnut brown that Jaskier had, but it was long, hip length. She had it pulled back slightly out of her face, a few baby hairs framed her face. Oh her face. Geralt thought as though he was looking at a living breathing angel. He heard her chair scrape roughly on the ground before it loudly crashed on the floor. She raced around the long table from her mothers side and sprinted to her brother. She practically threw herself on him. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, stumbling back a few steps. Everything was quite as the two embraced. Geralt's eyes went to the king and queen who were now standing. The queen looked just like (Y/N) but her hair was black, long stripes of grey peeking through her hair. The crown atop her head glistened in the light. Her right hand was tightly around her husband's arm, her other hand placed softly over her mouth as she looked at her children. Her husband looked much like Jaskier. His hair was the same color as both of their children, but much like his wife’s, much of it had turned grey. His eyes were the same cornflower blue that Jaskier had.

Minutes passed in silence before Jaskier put his hands on his sisters shoulders, pulling her away from him. He put one hand on her cheek as he examined her features. Her pale cheeks were damp with tears. But not sad tears. Tears of joy.

“My sister, how you’ve grown.” Geralt could hear the tears in the bard's voice. He couldn't see him but he could hear everything.

(Y/N) fingers gently brushed over her brother’s face as she smiled at him.

“My brother, how you haven't aged a day. You look just as I remember you. Maybe a few more wrinkles.” She teased. He laughed softly. Wiping his eyes with his hand before pulling her into another bone crushing embrace. She was much shorter than Jaskier, barely shoulder level with him. Geralt was shocked to remember she would be turning 25 in two days. She was still young in the face, beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to see her more up close.

While the siblings spoke their parents moved from the spots at the table, standing behind (Y/N). Alvere was the first to pull him into a tight embrace after her daughter let go. Her fingers gently combed through his hair as she inhaled his scent deeply.

“My dear son how I've missed you.” She whispers slowly into his ear. Geralt was starting to feel bad for eavesdropping. Not that he could help it. He was still standing at the entrance to the grand hall yet he could hear everything.

Jaskiers father hugged him next, it was not nearly as long as the outer two but both men were okay with it. Understanding that their relationship had never been one for long father son hugs.

“It is good to see you again my boy.” His hand clasped down on his son's shoulder.

The four of them stood close together, smiling more than Geralt ever thought possible. It almost made his heart turn. Deep, deep, deep, down the witcher longed for a family that would look at him the way they looked at Jaskier. He often cured the universe for not giving him an option when it came to what he had become. He clung to the few memories he had of his mother. But as years passed they became harder and harder to remember, more painful. But he had. Made a new sort of family over the years. From Jaskier, to his brothers at Kaer Morhen.

“(Y/N), mum, dad, there is someone I’d like you to meet.” Jaskier turned his head towards the door to the hall. Geralt stood tall, shoulders pressed back, his hair framed his face gracefully. Even in the entirely ugly attire he was in, he made himself as presentable and as proper as possible. (Y/N)’s eyes grew bigger when her eyes met his. He once again was taken aback by her beauty. Her eyes were a powerful emerald green matching similarly to the color of her brother's tunic, but brighter. Her mouth fell slightly agape when she realized who it was. The eyes were a dead give away that he was in fact a witcher, but once she saw the silver medallion that rested on his chest, she knew.

Jaskier nodded his head for Geralt to walk forward and he did, his footsteps were light, his pace slow and steady as he walked closer to the royal family. (Y/N)’s hand gently covered her mouth in excitement. Her eyes flickering to her brother who grinned at her.

“A bit of an early birthday gift.” He winked. Once Geralt was closer to the group Jaskier turned so he could introduce them, at his sister's side. All eyes were on him. Even the few people who were still seated at the table were looking at him. He started to feel a bit more uneasy. He started to remember how far away his swords were if he needed them. This alone was beginning to make him panic. He was not used to being welcomed into royal courts unless it was specifically for a hunt.

“This is Geralt of Rivia, one of the most feared, renowned, and skilled Witcher’s the content has to offer. And also my best friend.”

Geralt's eyes were back on (Y/N)’s, his worries dropped more when she smiled brightly at him. Her eyes gleamed.

Geralt bowed his head to the three of them, “ it is an absolute pleasure to meet you, your highnesses.” (Y/N) was nearly blown over by the sultry sound of his voice. She had only heard stories of the witcher. Never see him for herself and definitely had never heard him speak. She never expected a monster hunter to be as handsome as he was. She admired every feature he had. Her eyes fixating on his chiseled jawline, the light gray stubble across his chin and cheeks.

“My, what a pleasure it is to meet such a famed warrior as yourself Geralt!” The king spoke before (Y/N) could, which she was happy about as she did not trust her voice to not waver at his beauty in that moment.

“You my dear are very popular around here. Your stories are legendary. The school children even host yearly plays, Reenacting your most beloved stories.” (Y/N)’s mother added her finger pointing light hardly at Geralt. Her hand came out gracefully from her side to shake the Witcher’s hand. He gently took it, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. His attention returned to (Y/N).

“I’m terribly sorry I’m the birthday gift from your brother this year.” She shook her head almost as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Do not be sorry Geralt-'' the way she said his name made him feel as though he could keel over. “I would like to thank you, for protecting my brother for the years you have. He never skips on his gratitude for you in his letter to me. For that we are all eternally grateful for you.” She reached her hand out. Geralt wasted no time in grabbing her hand, shaking it gently. He was dying inside, but he couldn't let her or anyone else see. He took a gentle step towards her, his head lowering softly, his soft lips were placed on the back of her small hand. The small action made the young girls' faces burn red. Her eyes flicked to her brother who smugly smiled, knowing danm well his gift was going to take the cake.

“Well, you both should come join us, we just started eating.” The king said with a smile, with a quick wave of his hand two more places we set.

(Y/N) gently removed her hand from Geralt’s. Walking towards the table, both men in tow. As she reached her spot she moved her plate and glass to the middle seat that had been prepared, leaving Jaskier a seat next to their mother and Geralt a seat next to her. They all sat and waited as food was served to them. (Y/N) could feel Geralt watching her as she ate, her brother deep in conversation with her parents about his most recent travels. But she wasnt listening. Her attention was only on the man seated to her left. She looked over at the man, eyed him up and down then turned to her brother. For the first time she noticed how ugly their attire was.

“Gods Jaskier who dressed you two?” She asked as she sipped her orange juice. Both men looked at her. Jaskier looked a bit hurt and Geralt only snorted.

“I told him the clothes were horrendous.” Geralt said beside the young woman making her giggle. The sound made his heart beat faster. This was also when he realized how sensibly everyone else in the room was dressed, and how much they stood out. (Y/N) was in a thin white cotton dress, it was around knee length and a light sweater was on her shoulders. Her mother and father dressed similarly. Their clothes looking normal, comfortable.

“Oh my dear brother. What have you done to the poor witcher.” She laughed, turning her attention to him. She could see how uncomfortable the clothes made him. The vest was way too tight and he was practically bursting out of his pants, not that she minded, she gladly enjoyed the view.

“He is torturing me. That's what.” Geralt scoffed and she couldn't help but giggle again.

“You're so dramatic Geralt it's truly not that bad.” Her head flicked to her brother.

“Jaskier don't be rude.” She tutted him like a mother, it made Geralt snort under his breath as he took a bite of his eggs. She stood and walked behind him. He was stiff at her movements.

“Do you mind?” Her fingers were on the strings of the vest. He shook his head no and she quickly untied the tight strings, and it fell from his shoulders. She took it off and handed it to one of the maids

“You can burn that horridly ugly thing.” She said as she sat back down.

“I do not remember you being so rude, little sister.” Jaskier quipped.

“What I think is rude is how you made sure you got the more presentable clothing and dressed your poor friend in those horrendous colors. Have you seen his pants, Jaskier?? It's a miracle he can still breath.” Her eyes looked towards the witcher who was already looking at her with a cocky smirk on his face, glad she was putting Jaskier in his place for the ugly outfit choice.

“I can take you to the seamstress later today, if you’d like Geralt.” Her smile was like a drug.

“I’d appreciate that m'lady.” He said softly.

“And I can show you around the city, both of you. But in return I would like to hear some of your stories, first hand if that’s doable.”

“That sounds like a reasonable trade.” Geralt quipped back.

“Then it's a date, Witcher.”

“A date it is.”

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years

Text

What Is There To Celebrate About the Darkling? (Part 4)

1 2 3 4

He’s calculating but impulsive. Gentle yet firm. Stubborn and adaptive. Just a real mess of contradictions that makes him all the more interesting.

He loves nature. He loves the forest.

Fond of luxuries and nice things. After growing up as he did, I think he deserves them.

Very socially awkward. Introvert just trying his best. Anything that isn’t manipulation and therefore something he’s planned in his head is just a social train wreck waiting to happen.

The way he pushes up Alina’s sleeve when they first meet. This man had zero compunctions about acting completely unprofessionally in front of his soldiers and I think that’s very sexy of him.

He’s constantly tired and exasperated with the people around him.

The way he says “quiet” with the softest voice imaginable and a room full of laughter instantly goes silent.

He had no interest in Elizaveta even though she was utterly obsessed with him and I think that’s hilarious.

Elizaveta: I have a plan to resurrect the Darkling Everybody Else: Oh the Darkling is so evil for trying to come back! The Darkling, who just wants a nap and is sick of this mortal bullshit: Why am I even here? This is such a pain in the ass. I should have killed Elizaveta when I had the chance.

How he asks if Alina “will have” his name like a man proposing.

Has his bedroom attached to the war room.

Constantly checking up on Alina just to know how she’s doing. Never pushing her beyond her limits as she’s training.

Very creative with his shadows and the extent of their abilities. So many of the ways he uses his powers are genius.

His ending in RoW is a tragedy and an injustice. He deserves better.

This old man pouting at Alina in episode seven as he says “please, I just want to talk to you 🥺”

There is a black kefta made for Alina after like two days in the Little Palace. He really was already planning their entire immortal futures together as Mr. and Mrs. Starkov wasn’t he?

His bed is covered in maps and notes when he’s plotting how to find Alina. Also before that, the way he’s poring over the notes at his desk and giving orders is 👌🥵

Him acting like a real General at all is simply amazing.

The fact that he trusts Luda with his life. That they have a whole intimidation routine set up around him purposefully getting himself fatally injured knowing she’ll heal him.

He looks like a vampire in the show and a fae in the books.

His favorite ABBA song is probably “Lay All Your Love On Me.”

Looks composed but that’s only a façade. Is actually an unhinged feral terror of pain and misery.

That scene where he tells the king she will remain in the Little Palace to train undisturbed and he puts his foot down. ON THE RED CARPET. the king’s carpet. and uses a commanding voice that’s just on the edge of an order…I’m surprised he didn’t get flogged for that. IMO nothing conveys the fine line he walks with those in power while wielding his own like this scene. Literally he should just be celebrated for this alone.

“‘Why won’t you leave me alone?’ I whispered one night as he hovered behind me while I tried to work at my desk. Long minutes passed. I didn’t think he would answer. I even had time to hope he might have gone, until I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Then I’d be alone, too,” he said, and he stayed the whole night through, till the lamps burned down to nothing.

Trapped a bunch of Saints in the Shadow Fold like a true amoral disaster villain. What an icon.

His barely concealed amusement and half hidden smile when Alina comes to put his kefta on. The way he finds Alina utterly hilarious and tries so hard to act like he doesn’t.

That small amused smile when Alina jokes about finding Volcra hilarious. Please he’s so adorable 😭

“‘I know what you feel when you’re with the tracker,’ he said. ‘I doubt that’ He gave a dismissive wave.” - My Malarklina obsessed self, vibrating at the edge of my seat: but what does it mean?!?

Mal and the Darkling’s entire fight in the Fold: dumbass on dumbass violence.

The way he stands with his back turned to Alina when she enters his tent the first time they meet and then does the slowest Godfather turn in history. 1999/10 - points removed for a criminal lack of cat petting.

“I may lead the second army, but the king is still the king.” - the delivery of that line. the implications, the history behind it and also the foreshadowing for his plans.

That slow turn face reveal in episode one though. Like okay we get it you’re pretty alkjsdflkj

Confused Old Man Face™ whenever Mal or Alina do anything remotely defiant in his presence.

How he tells Alina to come closer and she only takes the tiniest step and he doesn’t even react.

His little head cock whenever someone says or does something that just doesn’t vibe with him.

Darklina tumblr has now convinced me that the Darkling is a cat in human form.

“You’re an amplifier,” she said. He glanced at where Sylvi was pouncing on another helpless tree, oblivious, and gave a single, frightened nod. How could he have been so stupid? He would have to tell his mother now, and she would insist that they leave right away. If word got out, they’d both be in danger. Amplifiers were rare, hard to find, harder to hunt. Their lives would be forfeit. Even if they got away, word would spread. He could already hear his mother’s voice: Foolish, careless, callous. If you don’t value your own life, show some concern for mine. Annika touched his sleeve. “It’s okay,” she said. “I won’t tell.” Panic crowded in. He shook his head. She slid her hand into his. It was hard not to pull away. He should. He was breaking his mother’s fundamental rule for keeping them both alive. Never let them touch you, she’d warned him. - 😥 I just want to give him a hug all the time.

His strangled shout when Mal tackles him off of the skiff.

His smile when he’s summoning the sun. The expression on his face when he does so. Like I know I’ve mentioned this before but damn. If you ever needed a reason to celebrate him, this would be it.

“Shame, I’ll have to give that speech again now.”

The way he flips Mal over his shoulder in the Fold after Mal attempts to strangle him.

His little lecture on the Small Science to Alina when they’re going to meet the King. Info dump.

“You make it sound so easy.” “A bird makes flight look easy. But it was born to do so.”

When Alina looks at him for guidance on whether or not to remove her veil and he gives her a small nod.

The handhold in the throne room after Alina’s demonstration is absolutely precious, but it’s in a room full of people he should be keeping up a façade for and it’s so unwarranted and yet he does it anyway, I’m-

The way he says “welcome home, Ms. Starkov,” in the most tender voice I’ve ever heard and then goes “ok that’s enough emotions for one day” and then just straight up leaves without even a goodbye.

He has his symbol?? Sewn into Alina’s kefta??? bRo???!?!

Disaster Simp never gets tired of introducing Alina to other people or talking about how she’s the best thing that ever walked this earth.

The Darkling lying: honestly

“I have devoted my life to undoing the great sin of my forebearer, but I am never seen as the solution. Only as a reminder of the problem.” Sasha you were literally the problem. What a manipulative little shit. We love to see it.

The way he closes his eyes and kisses the coin before he makes a wish at the wishing well.

“I think the Grand Palace is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.” - I love him your honor.

This man has the most intense lines for Alina. Like straight up I would have booked it when he said “you and I are going to change the world”. But then the head grab?! “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” He’s so intense like sir can you tone it down a bit please I am begging you.

“I shall be right by your side.” / “We can do anything. Together.” / “For us.” / “You cannot do this on your own. And neither can I” / “I want you to know my name. The name I was given, not the title I took for myself. Will you have it, Alina?” - WEDDING VOWS

That scene in the war room when Alina comes to find him and he instantly drops his guard and lowers his arms and welcomes her with a soft voice.

“Am I bothering you?” “Not at all.” - girl you could be stabbing him in the chest and you still wouldn’t be bothering him.

This whipped disaster sounds like the proudest man on the planet when he talks about how much more his enemies fear Alina over him.

His shadows react to his emotions.

“YoUr’E nOt IvAn.” asjlkdfjs god he’s so embarrassing.

Local Dark Lord Sasha offering Alina the throne after she literally tries to kill him.

He gets so jealous of Mal.

Has a great relationship with his soldiers and his men. His men trust him implicitly and believe him to be an amazing general.

When he turns around after Alina puts the kefta on him and looks flustered/has to take a breath because she’s a lot closer than he expected. The way he’s breathless and literally can’t string a sentence together because he’s so distracted by her closeness.

His jokes are absolutely terrible.

GF: *jokes about throwing herself down the stairs to get out of an event* Sasha “no thoughts head empty only Alina” Morozova: haha I’d just have my healers heal you right back up again.

How genuinely touched he is by Alina admitting to wanting to help Grisha and Ravkans.

That scene in Demon in the Woods when he notices the intricate details of the politics in the Grisha camp after one meeting with the Elders. He has the Ulle pegged almost instantly.

Born to be a leader. Born to take care of others. Born to protect. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s protecting people. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s leading them and caring for them.

The way he cups his hands around Alina’s face when they’re kissing.

This man gets so starstruck by Alina walking into the Fete that he doesn’t even excuse himself from the King’s side to go to her.

Long haired Aleksander rights!

Ok I know the wig was kind of ugly but he looks pretty with long hair and I think it would look very good on him naturally.

The way he slams his hands together in the Winter Fete scene and instantly turns the room pitch black.

Literally any times he summons shadows is a blessing and we should all celebrate him for it. They are so beautiful. On god if I ever saw his shadows in real life I would be awestruck.

He asks Mal if he’s okay when they first meet.

The pure, barely contained fury directed at the Conductor for daring to harm Alina and kidnap his Grisha.

He always has to make a grand entrance.

This man is like a bloodhound when it comes to Nina. He is very invested in finding her and I feel like that’s never really talked about.

“I know exactly how she felt. The King’s soldiers treated me the same way. Because they knew- they knew that I was more important than any of them.” - the way he says it, like it’s something he has to remind himself of in his head constantly. a justification for the way he’s been treated, the fear he evokes in others. a way to protect himself from the hurt of being ostracized and reviled. arrogance and conceit as a defense against emotional harm.

Also the way his face instantly changes after that, like he’s said too much. vulnerability. lowering his eyes. shifting his eyes. literally just everything about this scene makes me love him all the more.

Dark carriage rides up to the Crows’ hiding place. Grisha circle the area as Aleksander steps from the carriage slowly, dressed all in black, floofy cloak high on his shoulders. Villain Entrance™

Him slowly pulling a knife out of his chest like it shouldn’t have killed him is hot as fuck and also totally badass. Big dick energy.

“I’ve had enough of your lies.” “And what lies are those?” - Alina, pulling out a fifty mile long scroll of grievances: Well, for starters-

This man is literally just an Alina Starkov compliments machine.

He cares so much about the Grisha and their protection. He loves Ravka and his people so much.

He had an entire cult dedicated to him.

“They would approach him. They always did. But he felt more anxious than usual. He’d stopped trying to make friends in the places he and his mother visited—there was no point when they moved on so quickly. Now he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.”

Save a Villain. Murder the King.

Openly admits to staging a coup like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He speaks so slowly. He moves so slowly. Everything he does has to have Purpose and Gravitas.

Theater Nerd™

He knew Nikolai for years and yet couldn’t recognize him as Sturmhond. We do stan an oblivious icon 💕

The Darkling after he gets his ass whooped in Siege and Storm: Mom can you please come pick me up? I’m scared!

He’s here to manipulate sun summoners and murder cities. And unfortunately he’s all out of sun summoners.

Would absolutely get drunk on real alcohol. This man thinks kvas is strong liquor.

Has his wrists exposed exactly one time in the most skin he’s shown all season and it’s when Alina visits him at night in the war room. WHORE!

Was too emotionally slutty and fell for Alina. RIP.

He’s passionate and cold and beautiful and hurt and twisted up in ways nobody could ever hope to understand and he’s stunning.

I would literally kill for this man 🖤✨

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laufulneutral · 3 years

Text

We all know how much I love music Inspos! So here’s one that came to mind whilst I’ve been obsessing over this Coldplay song recently.

I’m sorry if this is crap. Only briefly re read so have fun or not cool thanks bye haha

(It’s a sad Arthur moment)

You are Arthur’s fiancée. Arthur turns up out of the blue after disappearing for 3 months after shish went down in Valentine and the gang had to leave. He never told you and he hasn’t been responding to letters. This isn’t the first time he’s had to go, he disappears a lot to do jobs for Dutch, but you always knew. However things have been strained since the trouble in Blackwater and Arthur goes for longer periods between seeing you, and he doesn’t have the time to see you and it’s all coming to a crashing reality, that unless you keep running with the gang, you can have no future together

A sharp knock on the door takes your attention away from the book you had become so engrossed in. You look up as your Aunt leaves the room to answer the door.

Soon enough you hear the familiar drawl of the outlaw,

“Hello m’aam, is Miss Y/LN here?”

A brief sense of happiness and relief floods your system before it’s taken over by anger again. Anger that he left, anger he hasn’t written once to you or even responded to any of the letters you wrote to him.

“I shall go see”

You hear the door close, and your aunt appears in the entrance to the room

“Mr Morgan is here to see you” she smiles gently, worry etched into her face. You return the smile, and nod once before putting your book aside and standing to straighten your skirt.

“I can tell him your busy” you aunt offers,

“No it’s okay” you reply, twiddling the silver band with a single ruby raised from it on your finger. “He is meant to be my fiancée, I cannot ignore him”

Pulling open the door you are greeted by the familiar cowboy,

“Arthur” you greet him

“F/N” he smiles broadly, taking your hand and raising it to his rough lips placing a gentle kiss against your knuckles. The touch sends electric through your body, some things never change no matter how long it has been. “Y’look lovely darlin’”

You close the door behind you and attempt to offer him a smile. You can’t bring yourself to say anything amongst the anger and hurt that’s bubbling more now you are seeing him in person.

“I’ve missed ya” he says, awkwardly knocking his foot against the wood of the porch. The tension between you is thick, “ain’t stopped thinkin about ya since I’ve been away.. some strange people down south”

“Why are you here Arthur?” You snap, unable to continue anymore small talk. His face blanches and his eyes show a quick glimpse of shock and hurt

“I missed ya, and I wanted to say sorry” he answers plainly

“For what?”

“What?” He grunts

“For what Arthur. What are you sorry for?” you demand, impatient with him already.

“Erm…”

You let out a harsh laugh, walking away from him to the low fencing of the porch. You wrap your arms around yourself pleading it will keep you together,

“I would have been back sooner but we ran in to trouble”

You shake your head “ain’t that always the way”

“Ain’t nothing I could of done.. Dutch said..”

You spin round to face him, your patience snapping “well if Dutch said it then it must be gods word”

“Y/N.”

“Don’t” you hiss “I am your fiancée … least I thought I was till you disappeared and I had no idea where you were for 3 months”

“I’m sorry.. Pinkertons showed up and after what happened in Valentine I couldn’t come back and see ya in case someone recognised me”

“How about letters Mr Tacitus Kilgore? Did pinkertons take over the postal system too!” You sneer,

“No” Arthur mumbles, his eyes stuck firmly on the floor. He is so inherently frustrating, he never understands how him disappearing effects you,

“You cannot begin to fathom the thoughts I’ve had about you since you left! I thought you was dead!” You exclaim, your hands swing around widely

“Oh darlin..” Arthur hums, his eyes meeting yours with concern, “course not, I ain’t trying to make you worry”

“What was I meant to think ? I rode out to horseshoe and found it abandoned.. I thought cause I hadn’t heard from anyone that you must be ..” you take a deep breath to stop your voice from cracking and shake your head “That was till I saw Trewlany, he told me you were holed up somewhere near Rhodes. I didn’t believe him at first.. said you would have let me know if you had to go”

Arthur says nothing watching you with a blank expression

“Arthur I have wrote to you. I have wrote and wrote and worried and cried…” you stop yourself, turning away from him again to not have to see his face,

“What can I do to fix it?” Arthur asks you, his voice desperate

You shrug, before mumbling “I just wish it could be like it used to be, y’know back in Blackwater”

Silence stretches out between the pair of you, only broken when Arthur sighs heavily,

“I ain’t too sure what to say darlin.. I’m sorry and I’m here now… ain’t that enough?”

“We’ve done this before Arthur, you do something wrong, I get hurt and then you apologise. We are running in circles, and I keep getting hurt. I’m tired of it”

Arthur comes up behind you and wraps his two warm arms around you. The scent of pine and campfire invades your senses, the smell of him bringing comfort to you the same as it always has done.

“You darlin, are the most important thing to me” he says gruffly, his lips kissing you lightly on the side of your face, the electric tingle igniting your skin, “please forgive me”

“I always do” you answer, your voice exasperated “but that ain’t changing anything, you do it again and again .. disappear for weeks .. this time 3 months. What will it be next time Arthur? 6 months ? A year?”

Arthur’s arms stiffen around you,

“This is my life Y/N, you knew that when you met me and you knew that when you agreed to marry me” he says, his voice irritated “Nobody said it would be easy”

You laugh, shocking yourself, before shaking your head “you’re right ! Nobody said it was going to be easy. Being in love with an outlaw” you take a deep breath before admitting the truth “but no one ever said it would be this goddamn hard”

Your voice cracks, and your eyes begin to threaten unshed tears that have built up over the last few weeks. Arthur turns you in his arms so your face to face, you look up into his sea blue eyes,

“What are ya sayin” he asks warily,

You search his face for something to change your mind on the hard decision you’ve been thinking over for the last month. You find it hard to face the reality when you are in his presence, he is so intoxicating and just seeing the man you love brings you such comfort. Yes he looked different. His beard has grown out a lot since you last saw him, his scar no longer visible under the untamed hair, and he still wore that silly blue, very worn shirt that suited him so well, but he was still that same man who you fell in love with. The same man who drew pictures of you and taught you to ride a horse. The man who when he proposed dropped the ring cause he was so nervous. The man you thought would be your husband

“Say something’” Arthur whispers, his eyes watch you intently,

“I can’t do this anymore” you say barely above a whisper . His eyes go wide and a hand immediately holds your chin so you can’t turn away. His eyes frantically search your face,

“You’re leaving me?” He says with disbelief.

You close your eyes, as tears start to form. When you open them again, you look down at your ring finger. Sliding the gold band off, you hold it out to him. Disgust fills his face at this gesture, his grip on your chin loosens as he steps away from you.

“Y/N… no... I love you” he says, his voice cracking. His face is holds a frown, as he looks at you with hurt and disbelief,

“I love you too Arthur.. but it’s not enough, this is too…hard” your voice cracks and the tears fall down your cheek. You look away from him, but Arthur grips his hands on your arms, making you look up at him through watery eyes,

“It won’t be much longer darlin’…I know it don’t seem great now, but as soon as we have enough money we’ll be gone.. just the two of us” he reassures you with so much belief that you so badly want it to be true. However you know the horrible truth, that there was never going to be that time.. there is always one more job, one more favour to do.

You shake your head, “I think you know as much as me that ain’t the case… you’ll never change that part of you, I wouldn’t want you too. It’s what makes you who you are” you place your hand with the ring in over his heart, “but I am not the women who can live that life with you, I’m sorry”

You slip the ring into the breast pocket of his worn shirt. The same shirt he wore when you first met, it hugs his frame so well and was the first thing you noticed when you met him in Blackwater. The grin he gave you after he brought you a new drink to replace the one his friend Sean spilt when he was trying to dance on the saloon bar. Arthur was so carefree back then, but since the trouble in Blackwater it’s got worse. You respected his lifestyle but couldn’t be a part of it yourself, and had enough of moving all the time. Staying in Coulter was the breaking point, and you both agreed you would stay permanently in Valentine, since it was not meant to be long till you and Arthur left together.

Stepping back out of his grasp, his faces drops and he reaches out again taking your hand which his larger one.

“I love you…so much” Arthur mumbles confused, a broken look on his face that is no longer hidden by his facade of confidence

You smile weakly at him, tears running down your cheeks “I know”

Your voice cracking through the sobs as you pull your hand from his and turn for the door

“Goodbye Arthur”

You step through the door, closing it behind you before he does anything stupid, like kiss you. You knew that was all it would take to get you to stay, you love him too much. Leaning your back against the door you slide down, the sobs overtaking your body.

After a few seconds you hear Arthur’s foot steps recede , and then hooves disappearing until the house becomes silent.

#Spotify #arthur morgan x y/n #red dead #arthursty #rdr2 arthur #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption arthur #red dead redemption community #thirsting after arthur morgan #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan #fanfic #red dead fandom #sfw

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msawesomegeek · 3 years

Text

Things that should have been obvious ADHD

1. My tendency to get so god damn hyper as a kid that I thought I had ADHD, but my mom was like: you don't have can't sit still syndrome!

2. picking my nails, twirling a necklace, picking at bracelets, twirling a hair elastic around my fingers in a constant motion.

3. The inability to watch a show to the end. Like will have to be able to binge it in two to three days, and then I won't be able to watch it for a year. Getting one idea or reading a sentence and moving on to the next show. In a loop.

4. Hyperfixations I have had: Singing, dancing, writing music, poems, drawing, painting, analysing movies, animation, physics, playing guitar, playing piano, or ukulele, ADHD research, constantly starting fanfics but never finish them, writing a novel (I have been trying to do that for a year), writing a tv show, writing a movie, researching and being excited to share it with people in what my mother described as: "Me having too much free time.". (Also I probs forgot a lot, but just what I remember you know?)

5. Seriously nothing has to happen and then I screw up my sleep schedule.

6. I have NO impulse control.

7. The fact that I stayed up till two AM last night to paint posters for a party, but I haven't been able to do my dishes or fold my clean laundry for a week.

8. Sitting in the weirdest positions.

9. The fact that when I have to study or something for an exam, I would constantly move location, like once every 45 minutes. Because now it feels wrong and I cant concentrate here anymore!

10. The fact that I can only do things last minute, and will literally have to make myself a schedule with timed everything or else I will do nothing.

11. Rejection sensitivity, uuuuhm yeah, that is how I got myself into a depression. From just, what if everyone hates me?

12. I will buy food and make dinner based on impulse, but then be stuck with stuff that I cannot use because it no longer brings me serotonin, and even though I hate wasting food, I cannot physically get myself to eat it.

13. either binge eating or eating nothing at all.

14. The fact that I saw someone do this on tiktok and wanted to do it, but I should actually be working right now.

15. Relating to all the neurodivegent posts, but like, always just chalked it up to my dyslexia, which is like, they literally ask you if you might be ADHD when you get tested for that, because having both is so common!

16. The ability to listen to the same song on repeat for 8 hours straight, and now it is literally the only thing I can listen to when I work. Do I even like it anymore? I dont know!

17. Random cravings, whether it be like, I need to learn something! or I need to read something!

18. Having trouble with when to talk in a conversation. Like when is it cool to insert yourself? When am I bothering someone, and when am I participating?

19. And apropo conversations: The constant oversharing, like a friend once told me: I give zero fucks about this topic, but you are clearly so happy about talking about it, so I let you go on. Or just being like: here is an inappropriate amount of information about me.

20. I love hanging out with people who talk a lot and are very good at grabbing the attention for themselves, because that is the only way I am comfortable that I am not talking and/or just taking the attention too much!

In conclusion. I'm clearly fucking ADHD, and my mom should have believed me when I was young and told her I probs had ADHD. But then again, no teacher wanted to test me for dyslexia, which I was also just a classic case of, sooooo. In conclusion the school system sucks and I hope more kids these days are getting diagnosed, because having to wait 3 months to see a psychiatrist really sucks as an adult who is clearly not functioning, knows what is wrong, but not how to fix it!

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wizkiddx · 3 years

Note

i saw that you at least used to write for harry could u do another? like maybe im just a basic bitch but 'only one bed' trope or sm

Summary: honestly just me shitty attempt at the only one bed thing ahah with Harry Holland x reader

no warnings I don’t think apart from my ramabling :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God you were groggy. It had been a long 16 hour flight and you were well and truly completely over this day. Once you’d had some proper sleep, no doubt you will be beyond excited to explore the forest and beaches of this remote island in Indonesia. You were certain it was beautiful, even if you’d arrived in the dead of night so you couldn’t see any of the majesty yet. It was one of the joys of being Tom’s makeup artist - travelling the world and being paid for it? A literal dream.

Except maybe the previous 24 hours. The Holland name carried a lot of weight in the world, but not enough to control typhoons across the tropics - there were some limitations to his power. And yes first class lounges were nice but none had beds to crash on during the 6 hour weather delay. The four of you (Tom, Harry, Andrew and yourself) ended up camping out in a out-the-way corner. Tom got the long sofa; Andrew in one of those weird egg line chairs; you and Harry splayed on the floor. Why you’d had to get up at 4 am to catch a flight that was now not departing till 12 hours later actually hurt to think about - especially because you’d all gone out for a meal the night before that had inevitable went a lot later than planned.

Two connecting flights with a very angry baby later, the four of you were checking in to the only hotel on the island - which was now almost exclusively filled with the production team for Tom’s newest movie. It wasn’t especially big-budget with massive million pound overheads, instead a smaller scale indie film (that you privately thought might earn Tom a number of accolades). But yeh, shooting on an island that received almost no tourism meant everything was different to the usual. None more so than for Tom and his team (including you) who he normally would look after very well, with the nicest hotel rooms or rental homes.

The hotel was basic, you’d known that before you arrived but seeing is believing is it not? Most entertaining though, was seeing Tom’s face. Andrew was a well travelled older guy, he had stayed in some shitholes in his life. Equally you and Harry had both travelled when you were younger (you through inter railing and him in australia), so had stayed in hostels before. But for Hollywood star Tom Holland? The way he tilted his head to the side as if to say ‘really this place?’ did lift your spirits momentarily.

Andrew had got his key first, bidding you all good night with a grunt, then Tom - who still seemed confused as to the whole arrangements. It left you and Harry at the small dingy reception, the warm glow of an old lantern-esque light fixing illuminating the place. The guy behind the desk was a smiley local and greeted you warmly, if incorrectly.

“Ah and finally the couple I see!” He spoke with a thick accent but still very clear English which had you questioning if this was just a translational error. Harry looked at you instantly, his eyes wide which made you scoff - him joining in, shaking his unruly curly mop emphatically.

“No no we um… we aren’t together.” All the while Harry pointed between the two of you, communicating through actions rather than just the language, given that you were both the very typical Brits abroad who hadn’t learnt the language of the place they were visiting.

“Still under Holland name?” The guy asked in a perplexed manner, flicking through a book filled with cursive scribbles and scanning to see if he’d made a mistake. He checked one, then looked up nervously before checking the same page once again- you saw where this was going. ”We, we only have couples room down for you though? 3 double rooms is the booking for Holland.”

It was late, you both stunk of a combination of plane and BO, you both just wanted your individual and respective beds.

“Well can we get another room then?” Harry didn’t quite snap but there was still an impatientcy to his voice, which came out whenever he was a little agitated. Seeing the slightly worried look the mans eyes, you leaned onto the desk with a genuine smile.

“Sorry we know its last minute and its not your fault, we’ve just had a really long flight.”

“I am terribly sorry miss but we are only small hotel and Hollywood has filled us up. I have no other rooms. I am truly sorry sir, ma’am.” The guy went from looking worried to terrified as Harrys jaw tensed up, you naturally squeezed his arm to try and ground him, instantly deciding that you’d just work it out.

“No no it’s not your fault, don’t worry we’ll figure it out. Can I just get the key?”

Harry stepped back and let youtakeover proceedings, signing all the insurance documents etc and asking the man about the breakfast arrangements and such, though you saw him furiously typing on his phone and by the buzzing in your pocket- presumed he was messaging the group of you Tom, Andrew and himself.

Once finished the guy pointed you on your way, up two flights of stairs and down a hall. The whole time Harry was muttering about how useless the other two were for not replying and also for making the wrong booking in the first place. If only you hadn’t been the last two to checkin, then it would’ve been someone else’s problem.

He felt especially guilty just because you were the only girl- he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, hence why he was trying to locate his brother so they could share tonight till they got it figured out. The tension, combined with sleep deprivation, was palpable as you both walked in silence toward the room - Harry was trying to formulate a plan in his head as they did so. And honestly? You just couldn’t be bothered to deal with it. So, once you reached the door 57 holding the physical key (old school, rather than a key card) you just decided to address it.

“Will you chill please?”

“Well if my idiot broth-“

“Oh leave him be for god sake. If you’re okay with it I really don’t mind sharing with you tonight?” Not bothering to laugh at his slightly shocked expression with mouth hanging a little open, you fiddled with the key until the lock clicked open. From the entrance you had a pretty clear view of the whole room and… well, lets just say dated would be a fair expression - when compared to what you were used to? The floor was tiled and the bed was a small double, with some funky and slightly washed out prints of blue and red on the cover. The pillows looked a little limp, more like glorified pieces of cardboard than anything fluffy and comfortable. The walls were that yellowy magnolia shade that everyone in the UK had gone insane for in the 80s and there was an old school wooden wardrobe in the corner.

Home for 5 weeks.

With a shrug of your shoulders you entered, dumping your personal and work suitcases by the far wall carelessly - the higher priority action being to collapse on the bed. Doing so with an overdramatic huff, you let your eyes close but payed special attention to the delayed footsteps of Harry as he entered, then the slight creaking noise as he perched on the other side of the bed - no doubt looking at you, at least slightly fearfully.

The relationship between you and Harry was complex to say the least. Well no… it should be, not on the face of it. You had met through work and made friends. And you wished it was that simple but alas, nothing ever really is. When you’d first worked with Tom you were in the tail end of a relationship you had long since forgotten about - literally meaningless, not worth the time and effort you’d put into it. From the start you’d had a feeling Harry was more interested in you than the average co-worker (even if your job and therefore co-workers were anything but normal and average) but you were in a relationship so nothing ever came.

Then almost as if synchronised, just as you got out your relationship, Harry threw himself in the deep end with a girl he’d met through his family friends. Then the roles were somewhat reversed, you now spent a good chunk of your day just entertaining yourself with thoughts of the curly headed, slightly awkward, very-passionate-about-tea-making Holland. The cliche is so real - your always want what you cannot have.

However, a couple months ago his relationship had fizzled and faded away leaving both of you in a sort of no mans land. The sort of not wanting to ruin the friendship situation. The subject was never broached by either you - except you assumed he was being tormented in a similar way to how you were by his big brother and Andrew. Never publicly, yet whenever you found yourself alone in a room with one of them (being Tom’s makeup artist that happened often enough) there would always be a sly dig. The chemistry was so ‘obvious even a blind man could see it’. Somehow though, weeks of this and your were still stuck. Stuck in the middle.

“You sure you’re alright with this?” His voice was gruffer and hoarser from the long journey but you could hear the self-consciousness and naivety in his tone, without having to peel your eyes open and look at his face.

“I know your not a murder and plus, we shared the airport floor this morning… this is pretty much the same.” He hummed in acknowledgement so you carried on “and plus your pint sized.” That earned you a playful shove in the side as you sniggered, before pulling yourself up so you we now sitting next to him, legs hanging off the edge of the bed. His brown eyes searched deeply into yours, as if physically checking for any hint of regret or hesitation. “Don’t even dare offering to go on the floor.”

“Okay okay okay!” Holding his hands up in surrender, you both laughed, breaking the peace of the late night of the remote Indonesian island. Once an impressive yawn interrupted you though, Harry proclaimed it was time for bed and shooed you into the bathroom to get changed and sorted.

Honestly you were too tired and lazy to dig out your cleanser and skin stuff, instead opting to just splash a bit of water on your face before swapping into your pj shorts and an old tattered oversized tee. Once done you and Harry swapped, him coming out a couple minutes later in basketball shorts and a black loose fitting tee.

It wasn’t awkward so to speak, more a sort of excited-tense atmosphere, which there was no doubt Harry was mainly responsible. The boy was jittery and on edge, which to put simply, you didn’t have the energy to reciprocate.

With a quiet wish of goodnight to each other, Harry flicked off the bedside lamp and you both rolled to your respective edges of the bed, a large space of no mans land between you. In the middle. You know the first time you share a room with someone and you overthink everything? When you don’t want to move about or fidget too much in case it disturbs the other? When your listening intently to their breathing, in the hope it’ll even out and only then will you feel able to fall asleep yourself?

Well it doesn’t work when both of you are doing it. When both of you are professional over thinkers.

God knows how long it took till you gave up, favouring sleep over your worries and concerns. So you flipped over, no doubt rocking the whole bed, turning to face his back that was still huddled almost teetering off the edge of the bed. The only light within the whole room was that coming under the actually scarily large gap between the floor and the door to the hallway. It was just enough to see the back of Harry’s curls and you must’ve fallen asleep trying to trace all the torturous and windy routes of the strands.

///////////

In the morning the process of waking up didn’t come easy to you as normal for many reasons; the long day prior; the jet lag; the weird surroundings. So you stayed in this sort of blissful haze for probably longer than you should. Half aware but not really; half asleep but not quite. In the middle of sleep and alertness. Therefore it took you longer than it should have to notice the extra weight on the dip of your waist. Not anything alarming, just a presence you were absolutely not used to. It was only when you shifted a bit to lie further on your back, that enough of a stimulus from the added pressure made you actually open your eyes blearily. And sure enough, a limp hand looked to have casually and unconsciously been thrown over your side.

As if in slow motion, you traced the arm backwards - first with your eyes, but then having to twist your neck too. Only then could you fully see the browny ginger haired boy who was lowkey spooning you? It was certainly a way to fully wake you up, breath halted to a stand still in your lungs, in fear of disturbing him and having to confront what would almost certainly be an awkward situation.

There was still a safe hands width distance between the two of you except for the rogue arm. Harry’s head was placed to the edge of his pillow, mouth slightly parted as his breathing slightly tickled the wispy hairs on the back of your neck. He looked so peaceful and calm - a difference to the normal Harry who, even on a good day, took great pleasure in meticulously picking things apart and being a bit cynical. It was part of his ‘charm’; but seeing him like this was a type of vulnerability he rarely chose to show.

To be fair he was asleep, he dint realise he was exposing himself in this way.

Finding yourself a little transfixed (a bit creepy but hey) on the natural curves and definition of his face, you ever so carefully rolled over in the bed to face him. It stopped you from craning your neck and gave the sleepy boy a slight nudge, making him tense his arm a little more tightly round you.

He settled quickly though, giving you ample opportunity to just observe what was going on . Both right in front of you… and what the hell was going on in your head. Because to be honest it was an overwhelming amount of emotion thoughts for the early morning.

Somehow you must’ve eventually drifted off once again because the next thing you were aware of was a shuffling from immediately next to you. This time though, you were instantly aware of exactly the situation you found yourself in and chose to keep up the pretence of sleep - a little interested in how Harry would play it.

You heard a small gasp, having to suppress a chuckle at what you imagined Harry’s sleepy and panicked face looked like. That lasted a couple of moments, before you felt him painstakingly slowly peel his hand from your waist and if you were being 100% honest… you heart sort of sank.

What you had been expecting?- you don’t know and really there was really no reason to be disappointed. Yet, you still felt this deflated and disappointed feeling, hit your chest especially hard. Perhaps it was because of your focus on that emptyness that you forgot you were supposed to be pretending to be asleep./.

Because when he had delicately brushed the side of your face to tuck a rogue bit of hair behind your ear - your eyes flickered open. Like a rabbit caught in headlights, Harry froze, his hand still hovering over your jaw. Equally, you didn’t know what to do. Because really… do friends tuck hair behind the others ears? And do friends look at each other with this matched expression of confusion and fear?

It took a painfully long time (though in reality was probably only a matter of seconds) before the boy retracted his hand, suddenly sitting up from his reclined position down at you. Mirroring his actions, you both ended up sitting, facing the opposite wall, bodies closer than they needed to be in the double bed. Both still very much in the middle.

“I er-“

“-No no don’t… was nice of you” He had been about to apologise which you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want to hear ‘ I didn’t mean it’ - you wanted him to mean it. In response Harry nodded jerkily, and from your peripheries, noticed he was searching your face for any sign of emotion.

“Still can’t believe this all happened… I-I didn’t disturb you too much did I?” He sounded really nervous. You were never like this with each other. So static and forced.

“No no… I slept really good actually.” Your register was quieter, waiting till you’d finished speaking before looking over at him with a self conscious smile.

“Ah I’m glad… I um-I did too.” The silence returned and the atmosphere just felt sharp. It felt like you were quite literally walking either side of a knife edge. It made you chew on your bottom lip, playing with the slightly frayed edges of the vintage quilt.

“Y/n- I look…” He’d bolted upright and voice was more raised than normal for the morning. “This is gonna sound so fucking weird, especially cos we’re literally in the same bed but... but I was thinking we could maybe go on a hike or something together?” What he seemed to be suggesting didn’t match the level of panic that was conveyed in his body language which confused you. And what the bed had to do with it… was yet to make sense in your head.

“I think Andrew said we’re getting some tour of island this afternoon so-“

“ I kinda meant just you and me.”

The penny dropped and it had you focusing all energy on processing what was happening - understandably causing Harry to only worry more with the lack of response. “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined ever-“

“No I-I….I’d really like that too.”

“Oh er… well… really?” The sheer shock made you giggle, feeling the two of you sliding back into the normal dynamic.

“Normally a boy has to buy me a drink before he gets in my bed but….” A mischevious smirk that spread across your lips gave Harry the final confirmation that just maybe you were interested too, making him scoff and quietly chuckle.

It was odd; mainly because this was the two of you being incredibly vulnerable and honest with each other - something that you hadn’t allowed yourself to be for fear of messing things up. And then one lazy morning, both with morning breath and slightly puffy eyes, it changed. For the first time when you looked at him, he really saw - and vice versa. You were still in the middle of something, yet it was completely different.

This time you were in the middle together figuratively as well as literally. In the middle of the bed, closer than you needed to be, but not wanting to retreat - while you both just looked shyly and bashfully at each… Eventually you lips hesitantly met in the middle.

#Harry Holland #Harry Holland fluff #Harry holland x y/n #harry holland x reader #tom holland

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dialovers-translations · 3 years

Text

Diabolik Lovers Zero Vol. 12 Azusa Mukami [Track 4]

Original title: ただ、一緒に

Source: Diabolik Lovers Zero Vol. 12 Azusa Mukami [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Kishio Daisuke

Translator’s note: ーー And once again, the power of true love prevails!! The plot of the Zero CDs is a perfect combination between angst, suspense and fluff, which is why it is one of my favorites. I felt like the ‘enemy’ they were fighting this time was not as extreme compared to some of the other CDs and I genuinely got some ~~feels~~ in the end. ;w;

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 4: Simply, Together

The two of you walk through the hallway of the museum.

“Oh...The hallway is...different from earlier...It used to be full of twists and turns, but now it’s just...one straight path...If this building is alive...I suppose it would easily be able to...change its interior...?”

You ask how much longer you’ll have to walk.

“Mmh...I wonder how much longer this path goes on for...? I’m pretty sure...the museum is guiding us towards a place though...”

Azusa comes to a halt.

“Ah. ...A door. ...Let’s go! We have no...other choice.”

*Creaaaaak*

“...H-Huh...? We’ve returned here again...? The room filled with...art supplies...”

You seem confused.

“Mmh...I wonder why? Is there something...important here? ...Oh! Wait.”

He looks around, suddenly spotting his doppelganger.

( Say, what’s wrong? Ah...You’re hungry, aren’ you? I’m sorry! I’ll prepare your meal in no time! )

“It’s his...voice...I can hear it from right up ahead...We should probably turn around, huh?”

You shake your head.

“Ah...Right...It’s a one-way path...So we can’t go anywhere else...Ugh...In that case...Let’s quietly...sneak closer. There might be something in the back after all...”

You slowly step closer.

( Hey...Cheer up? Do you hate me now? )

*Ba-dump*

“Eh...? W-What’s...that!?”

( ...Oh? Ah...You’ve come here. )

“...!”

( Haah...How troublesome. I went through so much trouble to tie you both up too. )

“...!! Stay by my side...!”

Azusa protects you.

“We can’t die here...! We have to go back...no matter what!”

( Can’t do~ Just look at how grumpy she is. I’m sure it’s because she’s hungry. Therefore, I need you two to become her food. ...Say, you want to hurry up and eat too, right? )

*Rumble*

( Oh...What’s wrong...Why won’t you rejoice...? )

“Ah...S-Say! The thing you’re...talking to...it’s shaped like a person but is it...a work of art?”

( ...Right. I made this. It’s the heart of the museum. )

“Oh...! Of the museum...?”

( Fufu~ Isn’t it pretty? I attached these tubes as well. All of the nutrients absorbed through the food come flowing in here. Because of this system, she can stay alive, even when reduced to just her heart. )

“What do you...mean...?”

( My precious someone...was killed a long time ago. Even though she was...so very, very important to me... )

“Are you perhaps talking...about the woman on those sketches?”

( ...Exactly. The one person who accepted me. Without her, I would lose even my reason to exist! Yet...! She almost took her last breath right in front of my own eyes! If she were to pass away I just...I wouldn’t know what to do! ...But you know, I realized! That I could simply move her still-beating heart... )

“Oh...Don’t tell me...That heart is inside...?”

*Ba-dump*

“You transplanted the heart and...turned the person you loved into that thing? Is that why this museum is alive?”

( Yes. Right now...She is this building. )

“Say...Who are you? You’re not an ordinary painting...”

( I’m a Vampire just like you. I just so happened to be well-versed in this department. (1) ...I was simply living a happy life painting pictures, accompanied by the person I loved. )

“Together with...the person you loved?”

( However, as you can see, I died too, staying by her side as a spirit to ensure she would not grow lonely. As a painting who hunts for her prey. ...To make sure she stays alive. )

*Cling*

“...!! What are you...going to do...?”

( What do you mean? I have to restrain you two with pins to make sure the food doesn’t run away? )

The fake Azusa uses his magic to make the pins float in the air.

( Hm~ I’m glad I brought a bunch of these large pins with me. ...I’ll turn you both in skewers, okay? )

*CLANG*

“...!! Step back!! ...Ugh!”

*CLANG*

“Aaargh...!! Uu...Ugh...”

( Ahaha~ My live specimen is complete~ We’ll do this in order, so you’ll have to wait till later. ...First up, we’ll start with the more delicious-looking one~ )

He approaches you.

( Woah there...~ Struggle all you want, but you can’t run. ...The sheer white canvas over there, that’s the museum’s mouth. Once you get thrown inside, you will melt away and become nutrients. ...You seem to have a thing for pain, so I’ll make sure you dissolve slowly, okay? Fufu~ )

The painting demon starts dragging you towards the canvas.

*Rustle rustle*

“You...can’t...Let...go of her...!”

*Rumble*

( Ah...! )

“...The museum is...crying...again...Perhaps...S-Say...! Couldn’t your...girlfriend be weeping because...she wants you to...stop this already...?”

( ...Hah? )

“When you...fed off her or...even when I did it...Every time...there was the scent of blood...the museum cried...Even when you tried to get her eaten...as if she’s...begging you not to do this...”

( ...You’re wrong. That can’t be. )

“But...!”

( She would never disagree with what I do...! I love her this much! It’d definitely make her happy! ...Ugh. She has simply grown impatient because I’m such a slowpoke. Come on! Get inside the painting...!! )

He pushes you against the canvas.

“...Eve!”

( It’ll be all over once she sinks into the canvas. I’m sure she’ll feel better once she has had her meal~ )

“...Eve...Kuh...You can’t...I won’t let you go...!! I definitely...won’t let you go all by yourself...!”

*Cling*

( Eh...!? There’s just no way he could stand up right now!? )

“Ugh...Kuh...To me...She is my special someone...She is the only one I have...! I definitely don’t want her...to go...!!!!”

Azusa frees himself.

*Cling clang*

“...Eve!!”

He rushes over to you, trying to pull you out of the canvas.

“I won’t let you go...Never...! Argh...!!”

The two of you get absorbed by the painting.

“...Aaah!”

*Thud*

“...Where are we...? I can’t see...anything...? Haah, haah...Am I...inside the painting?”

You call out for Azusa.

“...! Eve...!? Are you there...!?”

You call for him again and Azusa runs to you.

“Ugh...Haah, haah...! You’re here...”

He grabs hold of your hand.

“...Why are you apologizing...? I didn’t want to leave your side...so that’s why I followed you. I don’t want us to be separated...”

You ask if you will get eaten now.

“Mmh...It’s all over once you...get absorbed by the painting...We might get...consumed. But you know, this is way better...than losing just you...Neither of us...should have to be lonely. We always have to be together...Right?”

You nod.

“Yeah. ...That’s why...I don’t regret anything. Let’s be together in life and death.”

*Rumble rumble*

“Oh...Eh!? It’s...shaking?”

*Rumble rumble*

“...Ah! I’m being...pulled in...! ...Eve! ...Hang on tight...! Don’t...leave me...!! Aaaaah...!!!”

The two of you get sucked out of the canvas again.

*THUD*

“Ugh...Ow...A-Are you...okay?”

You nod.

“Thank god...Give me your hand. Can you stand?”

Azusa helps you get up.

“...Where are we...?”

*Rustle*

“...We made it...out of the canvas...!?”

( ...Why!? How come!? How did you get out!? This has never happened before...!? )

“Oh...I see. She let us out...The museum let us...go...”

( ...!! N-No way...No...I don’t believe this. She is always happy with my work! There is no way she would get in my way! )

“That might be true...I’m sure she really does love you...But couldn’t that be...why she’s sad now?”

( ...Eh? )

“You see...I saddened the person important to me in the past as well. Time after time...”

You frown.

“That girl was a...kind person so...she was worried about me and hurt herself too...That’s why I sort of understand...I’m sure your girlfriend is worried about you...Since you’ve taken many lives for her sake. ...I’m sure she doesn’t want you...to continue this...So don’t you think that could be why...she’s crying?”

( ...! ...Say...Is he right...? Are you crying because of me...? )

*Rumble rumble*

( ...!! I-I see...I was wrong... )

He drops to his knees.

( I’m sorry...I...I’m so sorry...! I never meant to make you suffer...! I just...I didn’t want to let you die! I thought that...You’d be happy if I did this...! But...I was wrong, huh? I had forgotten. That you were always the type of person who would worry about me, instead of about yourself. I made you worry a lot, didn’t I? ...I’ll no longer repeat the same mistake. I’ll stop doing this. So please...! Will you stay by my side? )

*Rumble*

( Aah...I see...Mmh. Thank you. )

He stands up again.

( I have a...request to make. Could you please...burn me down together with this museum. )

You seem shocked.

“W-Why...!?”

( She wants things to end. Because she can’t become happy, even if she were to remain alive. However, I can’t let her go alone, so I will perish alongside her. No matter where it takes us, I don’t want to leave her side. )

“I...see. ...Mmh. Understood.”

You tell Azusa not to do it.

“I...can’t stop them. The two of them...seem happy after all. That’s why...Eve...”

You nod.

“Mmh. Let’s go...outside. If we stay here...We’ll get swallowed by the flames...after all...”

( ...Hey! Can I ask one last thing? )

“...Eh?”

( What would you do...If she were to die on you? )

“I would...”

You look up at Azusa.

“i cannot...fantom that...But! However...I might have just done...the exact same thing you did...”

*TIMESKIP*

“...Oh. It has stopped raining. The nearby greenery is still wet, so the fire probably won’t spread...”

You ask him if this is truly the right thing to do.

“Mmh. They wished for this themselves...So I think this was for the best. Besides...I’m sure that nobody can decide...whether this is good or bad...This is the path they have chosen for themselves after all...Nobody should interfere with that...”

He turns his head towards you.

“It’s the same for us, right...? No matter what happens...We don’t want anyone to get in our way...We’d want to be together forever...Don’t we?”

You agree.

“Mmh...I pray (2) that as they meet their end, and even after that...they will never be torn apart...Farewell.”

Azusa sets the museum on fire.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) This sentence is quite vague, but I suppose he refers to having the necessary knowledge to know that if he preserved his lover’s heart and put it into something else, he could keep her alive that way.

(2) He ends his sentence with ように or ‘you ni’ which implies that he is making some sort of wish.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #azusa mukami #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers zero #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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givemeonebreath · 3 years

Text

A big, messy Linked Universe playlist

Link for Links

Heavy on the angst, because of who I am as a person. (At the same time, don’t take it too seriously, man.)

Influenced by canon, manga (TP Link is really Going Through It™ ), my personal perceptions, and popular fandom canon.

A pretty wide variety of genres, with a bias towards metal and prog rock.

I kept snippets of lyrics for most songs, also because of who I am as a person. (Some were particularly hard to narrow down to just one verse or chorus.) Those - and a little more rambling - are under the cut if you really want, in the order of the playlist. But. It’s long.

I didn’t initially make this with the intent to share, but hey. Throughout my past year+ of listening, I’ve been haphazardly adding songs to a playlist I very creatively named Links. If something reminded me of them, whether through the music or lyrics or both, I threw it on the playlist, so some songs might seem odd or vague. Some are really on the nose, as subtle as a sledgehammer. (Sky for Sky? Dude. Sorry.) Some are there because of a fitting line or two that stuck in my head. Ultimately, music - like any form of creative expression - can be interpreted in a multitude of ways.

My listening habits and tastes are erratic, which is why this is one big, jumbled playlist and not separated for different Links. Not to mention if I did that, some (Wild, Legend) would have a lot and some (Wind, Four) would have none, both because of my own familiarity with them, and because of the general themes of the music I tend to listen to. Most songs are a general ‘hero’s spirit reborn’ mood, anyway - those are the first part of the playlist. The second half is more nuanced to specific Links, plus a few Ganon vibes.

1. Deep Purple - April (Koji Kondo, composer of the original Legend of Zelda theme, was into Deep Purple as a kid, and it shows.)

2. Kamelot - Regalis Apertura

3. Au4 - So Just Hang On, Beautiful One (I’ve posted this here before. I can’t hear it without thinking of LU now.) So I slipped in through the gate almost unknown. All my border stamps were late. Seven days old. Cold hand griped my shoulder blade, broke the bone. Bloody nose and turned away, all the way home.

4. FC Kahuna - Hayling Don’t think about all those things you fear, just be glad to be here

5. Glass Animals - Youth Boy, when I left you you were young I was gone, but not my love You were clearly meant for more Than a life lost in the war

6. Pain of Salvation - Restless Boy A restless boy in a world too slow A flame born into cinder, ash, and glow I've given everything I gave it all Yet find myself alone

7. Haken - The Endless Knot Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line our cycle starts to fail. Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line we die to live again. We need a story to believe in. We need a hero to prevail. We need a challenge we can overcome, it takes a tragedy to make us one

8. Kamelot - Memento Mori (I particularly associate this with Time and Twilight) I am the god in my own history The master of the game I may believe if she would come to me And whisper out my name Sometimes I wonder where the wind has gone If life has ever been Sometimes I wonder how belief alone Can cut me free from sin

9. Katatonia - Fighters Look I told you so We never stop If we said that We'll back it up For sure You know We're fighters

10. Megadeth - This Day We Fight! (I mean, all Links, but particularly Warriors) For this I was chosen, because I fear nothing With confidence I tread through the dead of the night Off to another war-torn, faraway battlefield Wherein lies a demonic enemy horde

11. Moon Tooth - Igneous Well, the spirit took me And this old broken body leapt up and danced Settin’ out Settin' out with all my heroes in a bundle at my back Hawk am I More wings span in my shadow than overcast Yeah, you know what they say Always need something to look up to, ha

12. Samael - Moongate Destiny, tomorrow is today Destiny, without boundaries How many nights will we spend together traveling infinity back and forth and again How many times will we go together questioning eternity about us about our wonders...

13. TOOL- Parabola This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion

14. Lunatic Soul - Blood on the Tightrope No matter how hard you try To shut down your feverish thoughts They hunt you down with no regret Cause you have to fix it all

15. Hybrid - Keep It In The Family

16. Soul Savers - Unbalanced Pieces Gone, now carry on Through violent seasons I call you mother, mother, mother In vain, absent chain The twilight's bleeding And the playing board has two unbalanced pieces

17. Steve Von Till - Valley of the Moon All she gives is a stone facade Like ill-given flowers at a dead man's wake Here we slave for the dreams of another And fight over scraps like wayward dogs

18. Ludovico Einaudi - Experience

19. Lunatic Soul - Summoning Dance Three stones on the right side Three stones on the left My vicious circle of life and death “Oh you want it” I hear it again “Oh you want it” My burden Curse to break

20. Lunatic Soul - Through Shaded Woods Run through your shaded woods Run through your shaded mind Run through the night Run away Run through the darkness Run

21. Lunatic Soul - Naavie

22. David Bowie - Nature Boy There was a boy A very strange, enchanted boy They say he wandered very far Very far, over land and sea A little shy and sad of eye But very wise was he

23. The Dandy Warhols - Sleep Well, I could sleep forever But it's of her I dream If I could sleep forever I could forget about everything

24. Au4 - Everyone is Everyone (and Everything is Everything) Tripping and tumbling, Flipping and fumbling. Flowing on the rivers of sadness That have been forever rumbling. But from dawn until now Of all the paths that I could have gone down Of all the valleys That I could have been flowing through. In spite of all the chaos And all that has come between us, How is it I still find myself Here with you.

25. Kingcrow - Everything Goes Your hands again upon the ground Falling rain for hours and hours As you learn the game Time dispels the fog ... Ever been there? Ever felt like prey? Ever thought your mind was feeble? Lot of things that don’t make sense

26. Pain of Salvation - Icon As a child I felt too old And now when I'm grown-up I feel too young A different kind so I've been told Just slightly out of reach and out of time

27. Sophia Loizou - Divine Interference (I got spooky dungeon vibes. Also, the title.)

28. Carpenter Brut - Fab Tool Runnin Gunnin Forward in the phantom shatter so grand Splatter grand, arcanum fuel Wrought iron out of the sky Over me, tells no lie

29. Blue Stahli - Death Will Have to Run All on the open road Where none will ever grow A journey toward the known With countless miles to go

30. Gyroscope - Mistakes & Ladders I am the first? No I can't be the first A continuous nothing, destined for something Tell me who you are and why you trapped me here

31. Queens of the Stone Age - Run, Pig, Run Run, pig, run Here I come

32. Chali 2na & Krafty Kuts - Guard The Fort The swords are drawn and odds are stacked And we clash the impact's a thunderous clap Calm demeanor Even though we are under attack [...my turn to guard the fort ready for combat]

33. The Great Discord - Army of Me (lol)

34. Kongos - Terrified I think I'll start again and change my name You only live once or twice, what a shame Somebody fucked up when designing this game

35. Woodkid - Run Boy Run Run, boy, run! This ride is a journey to Run, boy, run! The secret inside of you Run, boy, run! This race is a prophecy Run, boy, run! And disappear in the trees

36. The Beta Machine - The End A million miles away from you this time I'll do what it takes I'm on my way If lines are in the sand I'll go under If I can make it in time I will bring you back with me

37. Devin Townsend Project - Gump When we last met who was I? I'm sorry we no longer see eye to eye The energy to keep you in while keeping myself out I'm sorry how you'll take this But I just don't have the patience anymore

38. Arrested Youth - Riot! I can't get much satisfaction living in this cave It's tough to breathe, I'm in the belly of the beast Can't sleep with all my rage With me and all my generations living in this cage Pick up your guns and tell your sons, tonight we break the cage

39. Led Zeppelin - Friends So anytime somebody needs you Don't let them down, although it grieves you Some day you'll need someone like they do Looking for what you knew

40. Faunts - M4, pt 2 (Wild) Fight your foes you're not alone Holy war is on the phone Asking to please stay on hold Bleeding loss of blood runs cold And I need you to recover Because I can't make it on my own

41. Faith No More - Ashes to Ashes (Wild) I want them to know it's me, it's on my head I'll point the finger at me, it's on my head Smiling with the mouth of the ocean And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain

42. Devin Townsend - Jupiter (Wild) I know you At least I think I do Everything's changed But in the days that are so dark It's wonderful

43. Katatonia - Neon Epitaph (Wild) Shadow of my shadow Cling not to my grief I am long left behind now You are free

44. The Smashing Pumpkins - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning (Wild) Time has stopped before us The sky cannot ignore us No one can separate us For we are all that is left The echo bounces off me The shadow lost beside me There's no more need to pretend Cause now I can begin again

45. Katatonia - Lacquer (Wild) My voice travelling Soaring bird above your head The house we lived in Ridden with disease ... The levee breaking I can't live to fight once more The road to the grave is straight as an arrow I'm just staying around to sing your song, baby

46. Eskimo Joe - This is Pressure (Wild) There is no romance in suffocation The walls fall down like your expectations You want to scream And you want to shout But you've built up steam And you can't let it out This is pressure

47. Portugal. The Man - 1000 Years (Wild) We'll wait 1000 years Until the end of time We'll wait 1000 more Dressed up in gold and white We'll climb the mountain sides To find what's in the sky We'll dig through mountain sides To find what's deep inside

48. Au4 - An Ocean’s Measure of Sorrow (Wild) Forgot my name and who I was. Memories of nothing floating up. All of the sorrow we once knew, Colours the ocean's water blue.

49. Band of Skulls - Carnivorous (Twilight) I am corrosive and cohesive Like a chemical bond I'm all together undone I am the broken kingdom I'm just so, so, so So carnivorous

50. Glass Animals - Flip (Twilight) I wanna go back with a club and attack I wanna take to my guns and break you I gotta make my little foe take his own

51. TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me (Twilight) My mind has changed my body's frame, but, God, I like it My heart's aflame, my body's strained, but, God, I like it

52. Kamelot - The Spell (Twilight) All my demons cast a spell The souls of dusk rising from the ashes So the book of shadows tell The weak will always obey the master

53. OSI - Radiologue (Legend) I was dreaming I was heading west thirty days faster Had a fever woke up in a sweat bailing out the water Can't go on Can't go back Heard your voice coming through the noise wrote it in the radio log Hurt my head, wondering what you said so I threw it overboard

54. Katatonia - Don’t Tell A Soul (Legend) I have been destroyed by the perfection that is a lie see I'm moving soon see my feet are already on the road and if you know where I’m going don’t tell a soul

55. Haken - The Mind’s Eye (Legend) The shape of things to come are closer than they seem Changing your design every time you disappear I'm planning my escape through portals of your mind Where people seem to drop like flies

56. Pain of Salvation - Species (Legend) Sometimes I hate my fucking species Yet most days I'll do anything to please it My generation was fooled to pursue our dreams But it is not what it seems You never need what you want And you rarely want what you need

57. Euringer - Do You Kiss Your Mama with That Mouth? (Legend) All my life, misunderstood I'm fuckin' too smart, too smart for my own good The last question, before I go is "Hey motherfucka, do you kiss your mama with that mouth?" Yes! I kiss your mama with this mouth

58. !!! - Pardon My Freedom (Legend) Like I give a fuck, like I give a shit Like I give a fuck about that shit Like I give a fuck about that motherfucking shit

59. Team Sleep - Ataraxia (Legend) Froze asleep Coma deep I dream I'm out with you Alone at sea

60. Oliver Tank - Embrace (Legend) You're in my dreams The world is torn apart at the seams And I don't wanna leave Wearing my heart on it's sleeve

61. Machine Gun Fellatio - The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares) (Legend) The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares I don't know what it means but she's got multi-coloured hair When she stands in the sand I dream of peaches And I'm not sure what that means either

62. Earl Greyhound - Shotgun (Legend & Hyrule) I am nobody, nobody is who I am I am a traveler on this land And nothing, nothing, nothing in my hands

63. TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun (Hyrule) You're staring at the sun You're standing in the sea Your mouth is open wide You're trying hard to breathe The water's at your neck There's lightning in your teeth Your body's over me

64. Echo & The Bunnymen - The Killing Moon (Time) Fate Up against your will Through the thick and thin He will wait until You give yourself to him

65. Sufjan Stevens - Sugar (Sky) Don’t break my heart, don’t break my flow now And all this rage has got to go now Let’s take up this lifeline Come on, baby, gimme some sugar Don’t make me wait Don’t make me wait too long Don’t make me sing the sad song Come on, baby, gimme some sugar

66. Obsydians - Ascension (Sky) Rise above the hardships you’ll face I will sign and keep on rising As long as you are giving me your soul and keep me awake Feel like home and spread your light around I will listen and just be there As long as you are giving me your love I’ll give you my soul

67. Sonique - Sky -_-

68. Enter Shikari - The King (Ganon) Watch your back, my friend I'm about to kickstart a cycle Of never ending revenge And this time it's primal, it's tribal

69. Saul Williams - WTF! (Ganon, Hylia) "You've been polluted, uprooted by time You have been muted, computed but I'm A living vessel of the one, of the moon, of the sun" Hey! You ain't as dead as you seem, what the fuck? Hey! But you keep living your lies

70. These New Puritans - We Want War (Ganon/ Dark Link/ any nemesis I guess) Shadows dance back up, it's happening again If you listen carefully you might hear them whisper: "We hold all the secrets, we hold all the words; But they're scrambled and broken so you'll never know" Can't you see them Floating like black ash? Can't you feel them Crawling down your back?

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #listening to music while I stare blankly at nothing is legit my number one hobby #and then shit like this happens #linked universe playlist

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deans-baby-momma · 3 years

Text

Wounded Hearts 18

Spring 2004 Dean’s POV

After meeting up with Dad, who was still with the Sheriff, we head toward the car as I tell him about the suggestion Melonie gave me.

“I could use one of those,” Dad says with a smile as we head in the direction of the drive-in. Pulling in I can’t help but smile as I see the very girl who recommended this place, her blue and white uniform crisp and clean in the sunlight.

Melonie walks up to the driver’s side window as Dad rolls it down and begins her spiel. “Welcome to the Pinnacle- oh hey. I see you found it.” she says as she notices me in the passenger seat.

“Yea. We are interested in those melt-in-your-mouth burgers.”

“Okay sure,” she says as she takes her pad out and jots it down. “Want something to drink also? We got any type of soda you can think of or tea or water.”

“Give us two Cokes darlin’,” Dad tells her. Melonie nods as she writes down the order and then walks away.

“So, that’s who told you about this place?” Dad asks, a big grin on his face as he looks at me. “I think maybe it’s not only the food you’re interested in here.”

I roll my eyes as he wiggles his eyebrows and chuckles. “Listen, I am pretty sure I know what is going on here. I can take care of it if you want to….ya know, sample to local cuisine.”

“It is so weird hearing you talk like that,” I say with my own chuckle. “But no, She just got to work so it’ll be hours before she’d have any free time. And besides, who says she is even interested?”

Melonie delivers our food and we thank her. I watch as she turns and walks to the next car to take their orders. She gives off the impression of someone happy and well put together and, well…..those are not the kind of girls that usually go for guys like me. She also seems like the kind of person I could find myself falling for and that’s just not possible.

We’d be gone in a few days and anyways, my heart is unavailable.

I take a bite of the burger and moan around the mouthful of food. The flavors all sync so smoothly that it just melts in your mouth. Melonie didn’t lie about that. I chuckle when Dad has the same reaction after his first bite.

Melonie comes back to the Impala a few times to check if we need anything and when Dad asks for the check I can see the disappointment on her face but she quickly masks it with her usually jovial self.

“Okay," Dad says after paying for the meal. “It’s almost 3 now. If we get back to the motel and go over the information from Sheriff Aliff, we should be able to take these bastards out and you can get back here before her shift’s over. You said she apparently walked to work? So, offer to walk her home?”

When she returns with our change and receipt, Dad questions her about what time her shift ends and does the ‘dirty work’ for me.

“My partner here will be back at 9 to make sure you get home safe and sound.”

Melonie smiles at me and nods then turns to get back to work as Dad pulls the Impala back out onto the road. Dad tells me he's pretty much got the case figured out. He explains the monster is a bakakku. They are cave-dwellers who feed off the brains of other beings. Dad is fairly certain that there is only one bakakku holed up in a closed down mine near Pineville.

"But if there are multiple bakakku, you don't need to be going in alone," I counter. "Do you even know how to kill it?"

"No. So until your lady friend's shift is over, you and I are going to research and try to find more information," he tells me. "Then while you are making sure she gets home safely, I'll take care of the bakakku and be back at the motel when you return. Be it late tonight, in the morning, mid-day, whenever."

Dad chuckles at his own quip while I roll my eyes.

To hear my dad talk and encourage me to hook up with some rando girl in some rando town for the night is just weird.

"Listen son," he begins as he senses my awkwardness. "Ain't nothing wrong with getting your jollies where you can. Believe me, I know. You may not want to hear this but this job….it's lonely and bleak. Yea we save people but hardly ever get a thank you. So you get your reward other ways.

"I have been known to seek out those 'rewards' and you know, it's nice. You don't have to worry about anyone catching feelings because if they do-" he shrugs as he continues. "-you're already gone."

"You've…..you have slept with other women?" I am astonished at what my father just admitted. "You cheated on Mom?"

"No Dean!" he demands. "I loved your mom with everything in me but she is gone son. I hate to say it as much as you hate to hear it but I am a man and sometimes I just need to get my dick wet, okay? It's not cheating. My wife is dead."

By the time it's close to the end of Melonie's shift, we have concluded how to take out the bakakku and readied the weapon needed. Dad drops me off at the drive-in and proceeds to the mines.

Leaning against the building, I watch as Melonie finishes up with the last two customers before she walks over.

"I just have to close out my till and make the drop in the safe then I'll be ready."

"Take your time," I tell her with a smile. She returns it and then tiptoes to kiss me.

When her lips touch mine, all reserves are gone. Tonight, I will do as Dad suggested and enjoy the rewarding benefits of the job of hunting things and saving people. And watching Melonie walk away, I absolutely cannot wait!

Rebecca’s POV Winter 2003

“He was the epitome of bad boys,” I chuckle as I settle down on the sofa later that night with Sam. He had asked me to tell him more about Whitney’s dad and we waited until the little girl was in bed for the night before getting into it. “Cocky, confident and egotistical. He was handsome as the devil and he knew it. He sauntered around the school like he owned it. He-” I pause to take a drink of my soda. “-actually announced to the school that he was a hero; whatever the hell that meant.”

“A hero? What had he done to think that?” Sam asks, with a chuckle.

“You got me. But, this was also right after he got caught in the janitor’s closet with Krissy Stephens…...by Amanda Heckerling, who just happened to be his girlfriend at the time,” I tell Sam.

“Whoa. He was a playa, huh? How the hell did you get tangled up with him? I mean, you seem so practical and sophisticated.”

I can’t help but laugh. “I so wasn’t back then. No, I was the nerd; the girl who kept her nose in her books and didn’t socialize with anyone. I was shy and bashful. All I wanted was to get through those four years of hell and go off to college. Well we see how that worked out, eh?”

“You wanted to go to college? For what?” Sam inquired, seemingly interested.

“Psychology. I wanted to be a psychologist. But things changed. Dean happened.”

“So what, did he break up with Amanda and chase after you?”

“Um, no. After catching him in that closet with Krissy, Amanda dumped him in front of everyone; the whole school. Then a couple days later, he literally runs into me,” I stop as I remember the day vividly. “Practically bowled me over. He apologized and then invited me to have pizza with him, even going so far as making sure his little brother was there. They were staying at the Pines Motel and we sat and ate pizza and watched All Saints Day.”

“So wait,” Sam interrupts. “These two boys-kids- were staying in a motel. Where were their parents?”

“I don’t know,” I shrug as I answer. “I never asked. At least I don’t remember if I did. Either way, it was just Dean and Sam in the motel room. After the movie was over, Sam was begging to go to the arcade and I gave him money for some games. I didn’t realize until after he left that Dean and I were alone. And well you know what happened. She-” I point toward Whitney’s room. “-is proof of that.”

“So what happened next?”

“The next day, I saw him in 1st period but after that he vanished. I never saw him again. I found out from the motel manager that they had packed up and taken off in a black muscle car.”

“Oh wow!” Sam says, stunned. “So he just humped and dumped you? I’m sorry that was inconsiderate.”

“No, you’re right. That’s exactly what happened,” I say with a chuckle. “I hated him too. After I found out I was pregnant, I wished death upon him. But then she was born and she looks so much like him, that it softened my hatred and I realized that I still have feelings for him.”

“Wow, Becky. Just…...wow!”

“I know. So here I am 8 years later, still kind of hung up on the boy that ran away.”

“I’m sorry Becky,” Sam says, dolefully. “If it makes you feel any better, Dean is a giant douche and doesn’t know what he’s missing. He has a beautiful daughter and her Mom isn’t that bad either.” Sam smiles at me.

“Isn’t that bad? Are you saying I’m not drop dead gorgeous Sam? My heart is broken,” I jest, chuckling.

“God no. Becky, I think you are beautiful, gorgeous, hot! But I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to come on to you. Like after spending the day with you I suddenly wanted to have a relationship,” he begins justifying until he realizes I’m joking. “Shut up!” he says with a laugh as he reaches out and pushes my shoulder.

@tftumblin @spnbaby-67 @markofdean79 @lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @travelingriversideblues-x @akshi8278 @keymology @hoboal87 @squirrelnotsam @natura1phenomenon @drakelover78 @larajadeschmidt13 @blacktithe7 @atc74 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @vicariouslythruspn @sandlee44 @mogaruke @deanwanddamons @supraveng @deandreamernp @lyarr24

#dean winchester #john winchester #sam winchester #rebecca quentin #wounded hearts #past haunts sequel #smut #angst #fluff #whitney quentin winchester #supernatural #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction

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ahiddenpath · 3 years

Text

Life Update

I’ve been quiet lately, (lots) more below the cut. Er- this turned into a big honkin’ essay on where I am in my life right now.

So, I’m in an interesting place.

I took two days off for a four day weekend recently, which gave me time to- le GASP- sit with my thoughts. Most of them centered on how burnt out I am, and how, while I like my line of work, I’m exhausted, and I don’t want to live my life perpetually exhausted. My argument quickly slammed into the wall of, “but capitalism, love. How can you avoid perpetual exhaustion in a capitalistic country?”

I did a lot of bargaining. What if I had two months off? Would I be rejuvenated then? Wait- how the hell will I get two months off???? How long would it take me to be stressed out all over again after this mythical two month break?

I talked to a wise, beloved friend about this. She did a tarot spread for me while I also did one for me. I pulled seven of swords (past), six of swords (present), tower (outcome). My friend’s spread also ended with the tower, and started with death. She said, “You’ve done the work of death of the ego (death card in past position), and now you have changes/choices coming (tower).” Death of the ego can mean lots of different things, depending on what type of psychology (including pop) you’re looking at, but what my friend meant was: self-surrender, transition, shifting the reference point from yourself and towards the world around you.

Basically, I went through therapy and did the work.

For example, let’s say ugly stuff my father did to me when I was a minor upset me, left thorns in my heart that still bled. With reframing and therapy, I can see that the ugly stuff he did all came back to him and his problems. It still happened, the scar may remain, but there’s no longer an active wound, because I know... Narcissists hurt other people because there is a void where their self image should be. I was never the problem, I never deserved anything he did to me- I was just an easy target, a defenseless minor he had access to. I understand where his behavior comes from, know that he did this before me, that he does it still- and, perhaps most importantly, that it’s a (sadly) common human condition stemming from ways babies/children can be failed by their caretakers.

I shifted from, “But he said x and did y and it was all awful! How dare! He’s the worst! How could anyone do that to their kid!” to, “How unfortunate that my father didn’t receive what he needed as a child. How unfortunate that he cannot love himself. How unfortunate that there are so many people like that out there- and that they all have victims. I will try my best to live well and be kind, so I never contribute to anyone’s trauma.”

My therapist patiently, kindly led me away from viewing my trauma through the lens of my hurt and loss. I resisted so strongly at first- you can read where I was here, specifically the bit about hoarding resentment. When I was a minor, I focused on getting through the day, so I didn’t feel a lot of the emotions my situation caused- especially anger. I was not allowed anger, ever- I was punished for it. So, as an adult finally getting some gosh dang ding dong therapies, my brain seized anger and was like, “JUSTICE!!!!! HOW DARE!!!!!” Woo, what a time, lol!

But slowly, eventually, I got there. I trusted my therapist and did what she asked. God, but it feels good.

I graduated therapy in December 2020 (I went from March 2019-December 2020). And now, five months later, with a few days off, a beloved friend, and a few tarot readings, I realized...

Shit. My growth/actualization journey is not over. I just have the tools to make the next phase possible, and now... It’s up to me to figure out what the next phase is, and how I want to navigate it. I don’t have a guide (therapist) anymore; she is trusting me to use what I learned to figure it out, and to contact her if I get lost for a little help.

I realize this is all over the place, but if you’re still with me, let me talk to you about the six of swords, the card that I pull almost every spread I do for myself. It varies by deck, but the six of swords depicts people in a boat on open water. The six swords are often on the boat, but I’ve also seen them shimmering beneath the water’s surface, steel hidden out of sight, but present throughout the journey. The card implies that the seeker is traveling away from a difficult situation, and that the pain of that situation is going with them- but they are hopeful that the destination will be a better place for them. After all, without hope, they likely would have stayed where they were.

As a person with an anxiety disorder, I want to be safely settled in one place- I want that more than anything. So, the fact that the six of swords is basically... the tarot card that chose me should be... distressing? It’s a constant acknowledgement that there is pain behind me, and I am always, always moving away from it and seeking something better- but that those six swords are with me forever, part of who I am. It’s a blend of pain and hope and sorrow and uncertainty and work.

There will always be periods where I sit where I am before I realize it’s time to move on. My last big step was therapy. Now... Well, I need to figure out what the next step is, the next way that I will grow and work and hope.

The same friend recommended some books for me, based on what I was telling her. I started with Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed, and of course I was crying a few pages into it, and I asked my friend if she had any remorse, and she said, “LMAO, nooooooooone,” which, fair. (If you’d like to see other books I read when I needed to grow, check these: 1, 2).

Part of me is like- ugh I can’t believe I gotta get the fucking boat again and chart a course and all of that nonsense!!!! Another part of me knows that... This is life, babe. You don’t stop growing till you die. Regardless of how I feel about it, it’s time to do the work once more.

As always, I’m wishing you all the best <3

#hidden's life

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the-not-so-silent-back-up · 3 years

Text

Until Full Moon

-1 -2 -3

Werwolf!(f)reader x Jaskier

note: I am reposting my own writting because I am planing to continue the Story. And I want my fic on my new Blog. And of coures a big Thank you to @the-winter-witcher for cheking my writting and @calamitycrowley , my beta-reader

description: Since a few month you are a werewolf, and you mostly hide in the woods because you know how dangerous you can become when it’s time. One day you meet Jaskier and Geralt. Unfortunately the witcher recently got the job to get rid of a werewolf. And that’s when it all begins

Chapter -2-

After a few minutes of walking you finally saw a small tent and a little fire, and another man.

"Jaskier are you getting robbed right now or who is this in your camp?"

"Oh no… that's my friend. He probably won't have a problem with you staying here overnight"

You got a closer look at the man. Tall, white hair you don't know if it's the fire or does he really have amber eyes?

"There you are finally. And you aren't alone! Who did you pick up this time"

The man had a rough deep voice.

"Hey Geralt that is Y/N I found her in the woods all alone. Y/N this is my friend Geralt of Rivia."

You reached out to shake Geralt's hand but he doesn't even look at you, he just looks at Jaskier with a really unpleasant look.

"All her stuff is gone, so I said she can eat with us and tomorrow I will help her find it again"

"And you believe that"

Jaskier turned to you again

"Come Y/N sit next to me"

And then he turns to Geralt again, you can feel that he doesn't want you here, does he know what you are. He is a Witcher you finally realised, Geralt of Rivia you heard this name in the villages you passed. Of course he knows what you are, it's his job to identify monsters like you. You can't look at him or at Jaskier. You just stare at the fire that got bigger and warm because of the new wood that the fire eats with pleasure.

You feel a touch of a hand on your shoulder. Jaskier's blue eyes are searching for yours, his look is soft and asking. You just nodded.

"I found her all alone, unconscious and naked in the woods! I don't know what happened to her but I knew that I couldn't leave her there. What would you have done? Oh mighty Witcher, who knows everything better than a stupid Bard."

Your eyes switched between the two of them, till Geralt catched your look.

"I guess shouldn't behave like that, I am sorry Y/N, it was a long day, but it's nice to meet you"

Did he just apologised? Is this a trap or something?

"It is alright"

"Yes it was a long day and Yes you are guessing right you should not behave like that towards a young lady..."

"Jaskier I already said sorry .."

"What about me?"

You chuckled a bit, but neither of them noticed.

"Oh Gods can we just eat now"

"Fine. But you owe me an apology."

"I put it on the list"

You still don't feel completely safe but you're sure the Witcher doesn't know, or at least he doesn't care. But you are grateful for the food, the fire and the company. You didn't have a real conversation since weeks or maybe months.

Conversation wasn't the right word exactly. You were listening to the stories Jaskier tells, about the adventures he and Geralt have had. Watching these two men together was a joy, they are so different and but they get along pretty well. It seems that jaskier always makes the stories a little more dangerous and exciting than it really happened, and Geralt doesn't even contradict him, he just shakes his head from time to time.

"It may can be that it didn't exactly happened that way. But it sounds better like that."

The fire burns slowly down and there was no firewood left. It has to be really late. And you can feel yourself getting tired even after your unwanted nap in the woods.

"... and then we heard these farmers talking about a wolf that is after their sheeps and cows and whatever. I immediately knew something was going on…"

Oh no

"... after the time with Geralt I knew what they were talking about has to be a werewolf…"

What would happen if you just ran away now. You couldn't look at Jaskier anymore -

"... so I informed them, that they won't find a werewolf at daytime… "

No, Geralt would know what you are if you would do that

"... at first they of course didn't believe me, but after they saw the white wolf, at least one of them knew I am right. He is good at convincing people …"

He would kill you in one second, no doubt

"... so the last one hired Geralt to hunt that werewolf. But the last full moon was last night, so we have to wait almost one month… "

Oh you are aware of that.

"... and he only will pay when Geralt brought him the head of that monster. And that's why we have to sleep here on this meadow, because we can't afford to rent a room for that long time. "

You forgot that you actually asked him why they sleep in this tent. This long time Jaskier was just talking about is actually all the time you have left alive. But does this matter. What is your life worth since you got cursed. You hide in the woods as deep as possible so the damage that you cause won't be that big. But this time you were to slow and that's the price you have to pay now. But what did you live for anyway, all of your family is gone. You don't have friends anymore they all think you are dead. You travel from town to town and hope that no one will remember you. You don't belong anywhere. Maybe this was your destiny.

In your eyesight you see Jaskier looking worried at you, because you didn't say anything.

"Geralt. You have to kill me in one month. I am the werewolf"

You feel the looks on you, but you don't care.

"No that cannot be true."

"Why should I lie to you? "

You got angry

"Only men can become werewolves"

"But I am one. Didn't you asked yourself why I lied there naked"

It's surprising that Jaskier don't say anything.

"It was because I just turned back into my human form after I ate one of the sheeps"

"But they teach us that there can only be male werewolves."

Geralt began again. You felt tears rolling down from your eyes. You aren't sure if the came from you anger or from your fear and sadness.

"But here I am. Go touch me with your silver sword if you don't believe me. Go on and see how it burns my skin."

You didn't realised that you were standing and screaming at the witcher, who was ordered to kill you. You once felt it. The silver on your skin.

"No Y/N I won't touch you with my silver sword, please sit down"

"You still don't believe me? Do you?"

"Y/N please sit down, we can talk about this"

The anger is burning in you.

"No there is nothing to talk about. I am the monster you're the witcher. That's it."

"You are not a monster"

"If you don't believe me now. You will see in a month. See you"

You turned on your heels and headed off to the woods. But you feel your left arm being pulled back. And then you feel it, first the smooth metal and then the burning hot pain caused by it. You screamed so loud you couldn't hear what Jaskier said. The pain brings you on your knees. Can see Jaskier looking at his hands in disgust.

"these damn rings" he shouts

He took of the rings as fast as he can to help you up again. You lied there weeping in the grass, holding left arm. It was only a tiny wound but it burned like hundreds.

He gently picked you up and placed you again next to him. You couldn't stop it you feel safe in his arms.

The pain is getting better and you can finally notice again what is happening around you. Geralt has a really serious face, it seems that he is thinking about what just happened. Now there can't be no doubt anymore. And Jaskier is gone searching for something.

"Y/N, I am so sorry, I didn't even knew that these were actual silver rings. Please let me take care of the wound. We have a salve for this. Please let me take care of it! I never wanted to hurt you"

You are still unable to speak. You just look at the man. He looks so worried and sorry. He means what he's saying.

Your left arm is still pressed to your body, as if this would help. But you stretch out your arm that Jaskier could see the wound. You looked at it once but you just couldn't let your eyes stay there. It looks worse than you thought. You look at Geralt, you don't know why, what the hell is he doing? He scrolls through a book.

You feel something cold touching your skin. And it burns again but different.

"Hey look at me" Jaskier must have noticed your reaction "It's alright now, it have to hurt a bit but tomorrow it will be almost gone"

You don't see what he is doing with his hands you just watch his face. He looks serious, he looks worried and concentrated about what he is doing, because of you?

"It doesn't matter. Your friend has to kill me anyways"

Jaskier looks at you pretty shocked and you're surprised too about what you just said.

"I am the werewolf, now the can't be a doubt anymore you both saw the prove."

You wanted to show the men you wound but it's already wrapped up in a clean cloth. "oh thank you" Your voice got really quite.

"But it still doesn't matter I am a dead woman, my days has been counted. My breath is limited. My life is over."

You feel the tears start streaming down your face, and what you also feel is that Jaskier is holding your hand.

"No that is not true. We will find a way to solve that problem"

"Jaskier it's not a problem. It's a curse. And how? How can you say something like."

"Because I know it. Y/N do you know what most people don't know about witchers?" he doesn't wait for your answer "They can undo curses, with some old rituals and magic. But most people don't want them to uncurse those creatures, they just want these creatures dead. And they won't pay if they undo the curse. And that's why most people don't know about this, because I don't sing about this and cause they don't want to know about this. And yes if you would have met another witcher he probably would have captured you until full moon and killed you then. But you are a lucky one because you met Geralt of rivia, he is the witcher to break your curse, he will undo it so you will have a normal life again. And he already started searching for some methods."

What you just heard was unbelievable, undo a curse you never heard of something like that before, only in fairy tales.

"But why does he do that?" is the only thing you could say.

"Because I asked him to."

Jaskier got his soft look back, as he swipe a tear from your cheek.

"But why did you do that?" it seems like it's the only sentence left.

"Because it's not fair, you deserve a better life. And because…... I like you."

You couldn't say anything. You just look down to his hand that is holding yours. This moment was something you never had before.

You both got roughly torn from that moment by the deep voice of the witcher.

"I didn't found anything here in my books, I will head to the next library tomorrow before dawn. Can I leave you here? I will be back in the evening. Don't wait with the supper for me. I don't know how long it'll take."

Geralt didn't waited for an answer, he just crawled into the small tent.

#The-not-so-silent-back-up #geralt of rivia #The witcher fic #Jaskier #The witcher Netflix #Reader fic #jaskier the bard #y/n #alina writes #jaskier x reader

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