#getting my own mind back
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Exhaustion.
I’m a week off my most recent nde and frankly, I’m fucking exhausted.I’ve gotten to the point where I’m afraid of consuming anything.Between the incense trigger, the soap trigger, and finding out that I am probably allergic to Depakote, I’m scared of everything now. I’m even scared of my cannabis.Isn’t that fucked? The very thing that I used to manage my anxiety, my sweet herb, the kind…
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#cross-posted#cw cannabis#difficulties#getting my own mind back#health#health issues#hell is life and life is hell#mental health#my so-called life#sick day
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I think 90% of my gripes with how modern anime looks comes down to flat color design/palettes.
Non-cohesive, washed-out color palettes can destroy lineart quality. I see this all the time when comparing an anime's lineart/layout to its colored/post-processed final product and it's heartbreaking. Compare this pre-color vs. final frame from Dungeon Meshi's OP.
So much sharpness and detail and weight gets washed out and flattened by 'meh' color design. I LOVE the flow and thickness and shadows in the fabrics on the left. The white against pastel really brings it out. Check out all the detail in their hair, the highlights in Rin's, the different hues to denote hair color, the blue tint in the clothes' shadows, and how all of that just gets... lost. It works, but it's not particularly good and does a disservice to the line-artist.
I'm using Dungeon Meshi as an example not because it's bad, I'm just especially disappointed because this is Studio Trigger we're talking about. The character animation is fantastic, but the color design is usually much more exciting. We're not seeing Trigger at their full potential, so I'm focusing on them.
Here's a very quick and messy color correct. Not meant to be taken seriously, just to provide comparison to see why colors can feel "washed out." Top is edit, bottom is original.
You can really see how desaturated and "white fluorescent lighting" the original color palettes are.
[Remember: the easiest way to make your colors more lively is to choose a warm or cool tint. From there, you can play around with bringing out complementary colors for a cohesive palette (I warmed Marcille's skintone and hair but made sure to bring out her deep blue clothes). Avoid using too many blend mode layers; hand-picking colors will really help you build your innate color sense and find a color style. Try using saturated colors in unexpected places! If you're coloring a night scene, try using deep blues or greens or magentas. You see these deep colors used all the time in older anime because they couldn't rely on a lightness scale to make colors darker, they had to use darker paints with specific hues. Don't overthink it, simpler is better!]
#not art#dungeon meshi#rant#i'm someone who can get obsessive over colors in my own art#will stare at the screen adjusting hues/saturation for hours#luckily i've gotten faster at color picking#but yeah modern anime's color design is saddening to me. the general trend leans towards white/grey desaturated palettes#simply because they're easier to pick digitally#this is not the colorists fault mind you. the anime industry's problems are also labor problems. artists are severely underpaid#and overworked. colorists literally aren't paid enough to do their best#there isn't a “creative drought” in the anime industry. this trend is widespread across studios purely BECAUSE it's not up to individuals#until work conditions improve anime will unfortunately continue to miss its fullest potential visually#don't even GET ME STARTED ON THE USE OF POST-PROCESSING FILTERS AND LIGHTING IN ANIME THOUGH#SOMEONE HOLD ME BACK. I HATE LENS FLARES I HATE GRADIENT SHADING I HATE CHROMATIC ABBERATION AND BLUR
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meg baby, I promise we’ll all look the other way if you decide to strangle that chimera ant built bitch. I promise we won’t say nothing.
#nicki got to be one of the nastiest bitches I’ve ever seen in my life#you ain’t had a fucking hit in 10 yrs good enough to act the way you do#it’s crazy it took her being so vile to meg for ppl to get it#it’s always ‘protect blk women’ w/her until it’s somebody she don’t like lmao#and her only beef with her is that she collabed with cardi#the only one who stuck by her side mind you so ofc she#she’s been terrible and I remember back in 2017 when ppl jumped me for ‘defending a Latina woman’ over her#the same bitch that co opted a hashtag meant for missing and murdered blk women for her own bullshit#while cardi was using her platform to speak up for breonna Taylor and police brutality? oh okay#she’s a nasty witch and her karma will come#rap beef aside#‘how you got 3 Grammys and can’t stay on beat?’#how are you the supposed queen and been rapping since Jesus was in Jerusalem but have zero?#bringing up her dead mother..you deserve to rot#cherry chats 🍒#I’m so happy cardi no longer feeds into her bullshit and lets her stupid ass talk to the wall#all the new girls are outshining her and I’m so glad they don’t have to grovel to her#the fact that these girls just came out and are her competition says more abt nicki than it does Meg cardi latto or anybody else#her peers should be missy kim queen latifah etc#and yet she’s linking up with 23 year olds and beefing with girls 20 years her junior#guess that predator spirit run in the family huh
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Ah yes, hooman Loop
^ early concept
#I don't think much of human Loop designs but if it is on my mind I always think of it as like#that one “Loop gets summoned by the gang” fic on ao3 where tall Loop started shrinking and then just kinda Siffrinifies back#basically yeah I imagine if Loop human then wish craft ran out#Loop's hairstyle is basically Siffrin if they ever brushed their hair#the headcanon behind this is that their time spent as a star made Loop appreciate their old body so#if Loop ever gained back their Siffrin body they'd really want to “preserve” it#it's self care but only in a roundabout way#They're not thinking about it in terms of “looking good” it's about saving their body at its peak condition for the longest time possible#due to trauma and stuff <33#also yea they definitely own like 1000 creams salves and oils for every part of their body#isat#in stars and time#loop#isat loop#loop isat#isat spoilers#my art#art tag#desert art
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If we're not giving up, don't give up wherever you are.
That's a promise.
#im not even sure if you can see whats going on clearly on that last pic but i give up im too tired#scenario: we get to interact with the lost soul. cuz its not like he can see us.... but he would definitely know its not frisk though#considering deltarune noelle can hear our voice wHY NOT HUH?? HUH??? WHY NOT US WITH SANS#IM THROWING THAT LINE BACK AT YOU SANS#whats gonna happen after this? he probably wont remember. everyone canonically only remembers flowey and then a flash of white after.#but we will keep that moment close in our hearts hehe#IF HE WERE TO REMEMBER THE VOICE? id say it would become his lil own personal motivation. remembering it brightens his mood on bad days.#it still makes me lose my mind#that THAT PROMISE LINE#is in the code#but is never directly seen in game#BUT ITS THERE#AND THE IMPLICATIONS#makes me so damn emotional#anyways this scene is going to my delusional fanfic that im debating on whether im even going to post it or not#we shall see#sansnomaly#sans x reader#sans x self insert#sans undertale#junie art post
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#if u think hosegate is bad don't look at the third image. im serious avert your eyes.#(or open your mind... backpack in the back of the van...)#i brushed over this so quickly in my long analysis but it needs its own post... that s1 scene is coming back in a big way in s5#mistaken identity trope btwn will and el gets me every time#byler#mikesbasementbeets posts
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greg said actually i wanna take YOU out and I'M gonna pay for it
#also it's so cute how he says 'visited' instead of just 'been to' like you can tell he learned how to talk from tv#tomgreg#greg hirsch#which side are you on?#fr why is this part not talked about much beyond the Thor Loves Poptarts-ification of greg loving cpk#tom says my gf is out. so let's go out to dinner. the moment greg understands that it's a serious proposal he's SO excited#and it's clearly NOT for any notion of fine dining. he doesn't ask tom 'where are we going'#no. he wants to go out with TOM!! he has a restaurant in mind that's a treat for him and he's excited to share that with tom#i think he is feeling a tiny bit snubbed at the end by the way tom refuses to let greg have the upper hand#like tom asked him out and greg literally asked him out right back. and rather than be excited tom is like no I'M doing the asking out!! lo#but yknow ultimately tom has his own thing that he already really wanted to share with greg#he IS delighted that greg has unrefined tastes bc it means he gets to treat him. he gets to be the reason for greg's awe#also he just thinks it's cute imo#and greg took to it as much as one can when they've already been more or less forcefed (much like the ortolan he eats lol)#anyway. tom's need to feel in control is his detriment bc greg wanted to treat him to some cajun chicken linguine and then fuck him silly#mine
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Pyromancers
#SLARPG#Super Lesbian Animal RPG#Small Saga#Claire Higsby#Siobhan Small Saga#art#been a minute since I've drawn a slarpg it's good to be back#MIGHT do more of these cause I think it's a fun#but Verm's and Gwen's outfits present certain... challenges#not to say that I think Allison would mind wielding a massive pocket knife wearing nothing but a cape#'but Robin Claire has all kinds of powerful magic would she really be impressed with a big lighter?'#look me in the eyes and tell me you think Claire wouldn't love a giant fire cannon#even if it's technology that's familiar to her even if her magic can do more it's FUN#tbh I think Claire and Siobhan would both prefer their own magic/technology but I think they'd have fun with the alternative#my secret agenda is to get people who've only played one of these games to also play the other#you will like it#Claire kept her own shoes cause I didn't really think I could get those on Siobhan
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had a human au thought of Barnaby and Wally. idk doing their taxes or going through bills together since they share a house & Barnaby going "hey we could get married for tax benefits and health insurance. wait no what if i want to marry Howdy someday? it's illegal to be married to two people." Wally goes "we could get divorced" and Barnaby gets legitimately sad like:
#wally: uhhhhhh. um. i think i left the oven running#barnaby: YOU DONT BAKE- GET BACK HERE AND ANSWER THE QUESTION#in human au barnaby's ideal world he can marry both his platonic life-partner And the love of his life#but the american government says No smh#my heart goes out to polyams everywhere#fuckkkkk getting unwell about this aus barnaby and wally again everyone#like i have so many different little plot lines and mini aus for the au#like what if there was a covid arc?#in my mind lockdown happens while wally is Elsewhere#so he cant exactly get back home! and obviously no one is happy about that but wally is dealing well enough#but barnaby's like 🥺 my lil buddys out there all on his own and im alone here so im gonna call him every day#(also i like to think that howdy spends lockdown w/ barn or vice-versa but this aint about that)#wally: vibing#barnaby: a bit of a wreck#absolutely unprompted#wh modern human au#but then also Angsty Thoughts of yo when they all get old uhhh who dies first#and In My Mind! they both die within a few days of each other#maybe barnaby goes first and wally just. pines away. broken heart syndrome babey!#also having soft thoughts of them when they first became friends#barnaby taking him to the farm and introducing him to the animals <3#wally trying to help out with morning chores after a sleepover <3#ms. beagle absolutely adoring wally and always having his favorite snacks In Stock for whenever he comes by <3#that one time barnaby broke somebody's jaw for going a little too far w/ insulting wally & almost got expelled <3#mannn they're so! honestly goals#oh and later on when they have their own place wally having his own lil art studio#and barnaby continuing to be his go-to muse <3#wally probably has so much fuckign art of barnaby lmao#OHHHHH AND THE CAR CRASH ARCCCCC DONT EVEN GET ME FUCKIGN STARTED#EMOTIONS CENTRAL THAT IS
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Okay so something about the spiderbit wedding has been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile now and I don't know if anyone's talked about it but I just recently figured out the words to articulate it (kind of) so here we go!
Prior to the q!spiderbit wedding, a lot of the fanart/fanfics I saw/read depicted Cellbit waiting at the altar while Roier is walked down the aisle by either Foolish or Vegetta. Which makes sense! It keeps with the idea of the father "giving away" the bride (or in this case, the groom) at the wedding, which wouldn't be possible for Cellbit since he doesn't have any parental figures on the island. So, I was a little surprised when the wedding day came and Cellbit was the one to walk down the aisle while Roier waited at the altar. I was a bit disappointed at first---they missed a chance to do a sweet little spin on a wedding tradition! (Found family* my beloved <3)
But then I kept thinking---something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle to the altar where Roier, his soon-to-be husband and trusted confidant, stands; where Felps, his best friend whom he just got back from an unknown fate, stands; where Forever, the friend he wronged but never lost faith in and wants to do right by going forward, stands.
Something about Cellbit being alone and walking himself down the aisle towards them like he is making an active choice. After the fear and the isolation, pushing others away and hurting those close to him so he could make himself a martyr because he felt like he had to face the Federation alone and that he could only rely on himself---now choosing to walk towards the altar where they stand---walking towards his happy ending.
Because this is his happy ending. I'm not at all an advocate for the idea of "oh romance/marriage is the only thing that will make you happy in life" but not only is being married to Roier something Cellbit desperately wants, this wedding means so much more than just getting married.
Of course, this isn't really the end, but for someone like Cellbit, it's a start. A new beginning. A brand new chapter of love, friendship, and trust. So yes, Cellbit walks down the aisle at his wedding, and he does it alone, and he does it because he deserves it, and he does it because he wants to, and he does it because he has to, and he does it because he needs this.
*I would just like to note that found family does not have to follow a nuclear formula with parent-child roles and I don't wish to propagate this misconception. That's just how Roier's family is structured in canon. Foolish and Vegetta are boyfriends and Roier calls them (or at least Foolish) "dad" that's just how it is and it is beautiful <3
Also apologies if I get any lore wrong. I'm not a Roier or Cellbit main viewer but I learn a lot through what I do watch of their streams and what I absorb through my dash. Hopefully this still makes sense.
#qsmp#qsmp spiderbit wedding#spiderbit#guapoduo#qsmp cellbit#q!cellbit#spiderbit wedding#yeah i know that everyone's talking about the debates right now but ive been busy all week and im behind on vods#so here have a spiderbit wedding word-vomit post and ill talk about the debates later (maybe)#im reading this back to myself after posting and boy i sure do love italics huh lmao#edit: tiny amendment to this post (bc my brain wont shut up) but i should note that ofc jaiden is also part of roier's little family-#-but i didn't include her in the footnotes bc this post was already getting long and tbh the different kinds of families-#-on the island deserves its own post but i dont have any Big thoughts on the matter apart from it's vvvvv nice to see <3#dont mind me im just rambling
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Painting
Modern!Eddie Munson x Female!Reader
Contains: nudes, mutual masturbation, phone sex
18+ only
Eddie flopped face down onto his mattress with a sigh. After working all day, playing at the Hideout, and then hauling all of the bands' equipment, he was wiped. He wanted nothing more then to smoke and go to sleep. His phone pinged with a notification. A contact under the name "Loser" had messaged him, causing a split second of confusion before a lazy grin spread across his face when he realized it was you (he had forgotten he changed it when high). You had been unable to come see Corroded Coffin play tonight as you had made previous plans.
Loser: How did it go?? Good?? Bad??
Loser: Was that one chick who wants to be a groupie there??
Eddie: went ok. Y u jealous?
Loser: just curious lol
Eddie: sure. Wbu?
Loser: Good! Robin and Nancy came. We had a nice dinner. We did paintings! Robin's looks better then mine. Mine looks like shit 😔 now just taking a bath and relaxing.
Eddie: show me?
Loser: lol no???
Eddie: y not? I'm sure it good
Loser: you sure?
Eddie: yes
Loser: fine
Eddie doubted your painting looked bad. You always tore yourself down, even when you did amazing things. He always wanted to throttle you, but knew he would be a hypocrite if he did. Eddie rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. He would convince you one day that you were awesome, but until then he would just have to keep reminding you. His phone dinged with a new message from you. He opened it and saw a picture attached and-
Immediately dropped his phone. His heart picked up speed. His eyes widened and face flushed. Eddie dove for the phone as if it were a life preserver and he was drowning. He couldn't believe his eyes. He licked his lips and stared at his phone.
A picture from your neck down. Bubbles in the bath around you. Water was running down your collarbone towards your tits. Your nipples barely covered by the bubbles. One boob having no bubbles around it at all, but your hand flipping him off blocked him from seeing more. He was greedy. He wanted to see more, and had never imagined you would send him this to begin with. Eddie looked down at the tent that had formed in his boxers.
Loser: ask nicely next time 😤
Eddie groaned and his dick twitched. You had totally misunderstood him, he had wanted to see your painting- of course he was more then glad for this outcome. However, he couldn't quite unsee what you had sent, nor would he want to. Eddie reread your text. Next time means more than just this once. Means maybe he could see more. Means maybe he has a better shot with you then he thought. He already overthought things with you many times, and now his brain had just switched to overdrive.
A million thoughts ran through his head as his hand traveled south. He paused briefly," Oh fuck it." He grabbed his dick over his boxers, causing the outline to be very noticeable. He took a pic before sending it to you. He would have felt bad about not sending a message with it, but he would have sat there for ages trying to think of a response. And he couldn't find it in himself to care as he pressed lightly against his dick.
He dropped his phone on his stomach. All Eddie could think about was you as he pulled his dick out of his boxers. Your soap covered tits. How beautiful they looked.. He licked his hand before slowly grasping his dick and squeezing the base, causing the tip to flush more. The pressure causing him to moan. He slowly stroked up and down his length. He picked up the pace, canting his hips up to meet his hand. Part of him wanted to go slow, but the rest of him wanted to get this over with quick so he could do it again and again and again. His chest heaved and sweat started to form on his brow. A sigh fell from his lips that quickly turned to a moan at the thought of it being your hand wrapped around him. How small your hand would look on his dick. How-
His stomach tensed and he jolted as his phone started vibrating and your ringtone played. The vibrations on his lower stomach felt so good, he was tempted to let it keep playing, but the urge to hear your voice was stronger. With his free hand he grabbed the phone and answered. "H-hello?" Eddie asked, panting into the phone. "Oh fuck, Eddie," your voice higher than normal sounded like music to his ears. Eddie moaned and your response was a whimper. "Fuck babe, see what you do to me?" Eddie's voice felt like sandpaper, he was surprised he could even find words. "Uh-huh." The sound of water splashing caught Eddie's attention," holy shit. Are you touching yourself?" "Wish it were you."
Eddie's mind went fuzzy as he picked up speed. The schlick noise picking up, his mind filtering out everything except your moans. "Sound so good. Wish I was there." Eddie mumbled, feeling his tip leaking generously. He was so close. "Fuuuck Eddie I'm gonna-" your sentence was cut off with a moan and he lost it. His hips bucked without rhythm and cum spurted everywhere. He never understood the phrase of people seeing stars behind their eyes until now, but they were more like fireworks. He had never cum this much in his life, not even when he had first found porn.
He slowly came back down, a euphoric feeling enveloping him. A warmth spread in his chest as it heaved, trying to catch a breath. He looked down and saw his shirt covered with his release. Your chuckle pulled him back to earth. "Uh so that happened...so whatcha gonna do about it Munson?" He hummed," Think i should ask you for a date." "You should."
Eddie had the biggest grin when you finally got off the phone, date planned for Friday night. He looked down at your contact name before changing the s to a v. He was going to find that painting you did and make sure it hung over his bed, so he could remember this night forever.
#Eddie eventually tells you about the misunderstanding and you just become more and more embarrassed#You asked him to delete the pic out of embarrassment and he goes on and on about how it is art and how beautiful it is and refuses#He later comes back to you and tells you if you want him to delete it he will and you just laugh and tell him to keep it#He agrees tho that your painting does suck to which you say “yeah I do” and give him a pointed look and he doesn't catch on#Until you huff and grab him and look him in the eyes and flat out tell him what you're offering#Shoutout to my friend who did this to me (it was a clothed pic tho) and I went BRO? and immediately clarified#But it started this thought and it wouldn't shake me loose until I wrote it so here yall go#Idk how to end things and idk how to write smut so take this and do with it as you will#My dumbass over here getting too lost in my own mind to write well fjdjsls#Eddie Munson#Modern!Eddie Munson#Eddie Munson x reader#Eddie Munson/reader#Eddie Munson x y/n#Eddie Munson x you#Eddie Munson/you#Eddie Munson smut#Eddie Munson x female!reader#Stranger Things#Also Eddie absolutely uses only text speech and you get frustrated with it#Jade is Talking
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Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)
#lay rambles#my ocs#oc: liam hawke#oc: lilian hawke#both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it#theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences#with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever#they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key#and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever#hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do#mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself#(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently)#so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc#also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house#(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol)#also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space#he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet#always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like#food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind#and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them#(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc)#lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies)#but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa#dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever#however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults#also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt#not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself#oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages)#also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse)#...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD
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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant
#positivity#pro aging#also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye#saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end#i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks#it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging#in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom#as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you#older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake#and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints#and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself#and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older#but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences#and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body#i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was#i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it#and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World#it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living#inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH#didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????
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let’s go down to the tennis court
You were one of the best female tennis players in the world. Having gone D1 in college and joining the ranks, being as young as you were, you made quite a name for yourself. Fans would come from all around the world to watch you play. Following you through your journey as a rookie to a challenger.
The fans didn’t just love how good you were, they loved your attitude, too. How ruthless you could be on the court, but still remain humble. How you could tear your opponent to shreds with your words and your racket. It was all apart of the game, right?
Matty Healy, lively frontman of famous band The 1975, had also taken quite an interest in you. When you’re alerted that he mentioned your name in an interview, and then coincidentally run into him a week later, what do you do?
#um guys… new au#tennis!reader#listen school has been swamping me but you’ll get something this week ok#yes the title is based off the lorde song!!#also def based of Carrie Soto is Back :)#will anyone enjoy this.. idk.#but i needed sports!girlie for my own peace of mind#matty healy x reader#matty healy fic#matty healy fanfic#coming soon tbd etcetc
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Headcanon #500:
Mind is afraid that when he distances himself from or above the others, that he will be too far gone to come back down. That when his paranoia gets the best of him, he'll shut everyone else out and then be completely alone with no way back to where he was before.
Heart is afraid that if Mind is right, with the idea that what he does isn't genuine, that he's being manipulative without realizing it. Then therefore being Whole without himself there is the better option. That he'd be thrown out because his ideas would then be "not worth it" or even "vile"
Soul is afraid that no matter what he does or how good things will be, they'll always eventually split up again or even end up worse. Even then he has no clue what he's supposed to do or be during everything, and so because of that he'll never be whole. Or worse that he'll never really "feel" whole.
#kiiiiiiiinda just saying what is a bit talked about in the album but eh#i like this#fun fact: i made this & saved it as a draft back when it was just barley over 100#finally being posted at 500#wanting to post my own at each hundred mark cos why not#i say that but there's only one more submission in the queue atm soooo#send me your headcanons now to make my own ideas for special occasions get it like special hahaha [please send more i only have so many]#[idk what to do after I run out help]#haha anyway#next are my old tags from when i first made this post#cj soul#cj mind#cj heart#chonny jash#wow did KJ just attempt to make an angst headcanon? never thought that would happen#anyways idk how much this makes sense but eh it works#if theres anything to get from this or how my ideas with them work#mind can be overly paranoid. heart can be too protective of himself. and those idea make them believe the other has it out for them#soul has no idea how to really deal with that let alone what he's supposed to be#or something along those lines#idk its 5am man idk what im talking about#i need to go to bed pfft#chonnys charming chaos compendium
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Just saw someone who said Malleus couldn't be an introvert because he wants to connect with others???? I'm offended because do you know what an introvert is? In fact, you could say he's a TRUE introvert because introverts are people who cherish their time alone, but do seek the company of others from time to time because they're aware they need it to survive.
Introverts don't necessarily like shallow socializing, but they like forging meaningful connections with the right people-- be it family, a good friend, or a lover. Introverts are just normal people whose social battery runs out fast, so they save it for those they deem special. Some introverts say they "hate" people because it's hard to explain the nuances, and would definitely be hard for non-introverts to understand, but they actually don't.
A common case of people who'd prefer not to meet others because it makes them uncomfortable are those with social anxiety. Not all introverts have this; Idia is an introvert with social anxiety while Malleus is a regular introvert. Idia, despite being a shut-in, actually doesn't hate people because he enjoys spending time with Ortho, co-oping with Lilia online, and playing board games with Azul.
People who honestly, absolutely DESPISE connecting with others? That is either a misanthrope, antisocial, or some other conditions I don't know the words for. Please do not subscribe in the insane notion that Malleus is somehow an extrovert for wanting another good friend or even a romantic interest lol.
#thank you for listening to my ted talk#i am a true introvert like malleus so i feel him completely#I've somewhat recovered from social anxiety so I understand what it feels like to not really mind getting to know others from time to time#and then go back to my own corner to recharge#twisted wonderland#ventique rambles#malleus draconia
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