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alyaltyr · 26 days

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How I Became A Swiftie

2008, Love Story comes on the radio and 14 year old me falls completely in love with the song. As a young closeted boy growing up in rural Norfolk (UK), I definitely kept my music tastes as private as possible. I still remember bringing my music player into college (a place where I felt a little more confident in expressing myself) and was teased BY THE TUTORS for having Katy Perry on there...

I'd never been much of a full-album/full-discography person until recently, so I generally only downloaded particular songs that I came across naturally. Love Story had and always will be on that old music player. As the years went on, I added more of the big hits by Taylor as I heard them, including I Knew You Were Trouble, 22, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, Blank Space, Shake It Off, and Bad Blood. I remember the music video for Shake It Off coming out and watching it SO MANY TIMES. As an ex-dancer, I loved all the different styles she included.

I didn't really keep up with music trends or anyone in-particular for a LONG time. I always knew I wanted an artist that really spoke to me with their work that I could be absorbed into, but I hadn't given anyone the chance. I think I tried with a small British singing group called Blake for a while. I bought all their CDs and was lucky enough to see them live. But I definitely needed something more personal to me.

Cut to Red (Taylor's Version) coming out and the short film of All Too Well (10 Minute Version) releasing. I loved Sadie Sink from Stranger Things and I'd heard things about the song All Too Well being heart-breaking, so I decided to give it a watch. Well, I was sold. I listened to that song so many times, I learnt all the words in a couple of days. It related to a heartbreak I had been through so closely, I still believe I was meant to hear it. So, the 10-minute version is actually the first rendition I heard. I was talking to my friends about my want to find an artist and was mentioning different songs I love, including ATW. They advised me to give her whole discography a listen, right from the beginning.

This was around the start of October 2022. So, I make my way through all of her albums. I loved Debut/Self-Titled on first listen and it still has a special place in my heart, being the first full album of Taylor's that I listened to. However, I got to the end of evermore by October 20th (I took my time with it), and as any swiftie knows, Midnights came out on the 21st, which just so happens to be my birthday!

I genuinely believed this woman was meant to come into my life, because I completely adored that album when I heard it, and I had it ON REPEAT on my commute to and from campus for my third year of uni. I still thank Taylor for helping me with my degree because I was very close to dropping out because of growing stress and panic issues, but her music helped me so much with the travelling side of things.

I'd also never felt so connected and understood by an artist, even as a British man. Her words are complete poetry and her melodies captured my heart. I cannot imagine my life without her music now.

Since then, I have listened to anything and everything she has written, and I fiercely keep up with all that she is willing to share. I started collecting her CDs (all stolen versions were bought second-hand) and I started pre-ordering from her website since the tour began. I don't believe this is what makes me a swiftie, I just knew I wanted to support her in my own way, as I was too overwhelmed to order tickets to the show, even though I would love to go.

And now here I am, a fully fledged swiftie. I have so much respect and adoration for that woman. I don't really use any form of social media other than TikTok, but I have to say I've never felt so excited and welcomed by a community in my life. The anticipation of new music and generally discussing what tracks we love etc has given me such a fun avenue in life, which makes the struggles a little easier.

Thank you Taylor for everything you do. You truly saved my life and I will forever be grateful to you for that.

#taylor swift #swifties

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yaomomvs · 3 years

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TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!” kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that...

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss"

"alright!"

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others.

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..."

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework"

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try.

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

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kaitwrites · 3 years

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Part 22; Apologies

Word Count: ~3k

Masterlist

A/N: Okay, it’s finally here. First of all I’d like to say I’m very nervous lol. But also, a HUGE thank you to @garbagepale-kid�� for editing and proof-reading for me. Best Wife Cassie <3. Secondly, she has given me so much confidence in my writing and I love her so much for that. Once again, Cassie Best wife. Also you can follow her (18+) writing blog here. In other news I just finished my last 55 hour week at work, and I only have four more days of work before a week of vacation! Anyway, the next part will be written as well, and I hope you guys enjoy <3

You stared at your phone, watching anxiously as the minutes ticked by. After making it back to the hotel you made a beeline for the little gazebo off to the side of the property. With the late hour and it also being a weekday, you were left waiting alone in the dark, unbothered as you sat on the weathered bench. The only light came from the dim bulb that seemed to hang only by a thread from the tented ceiling. Bakugo had said he wanted to take a shower before meeting with you, but the longer you waited, the more you feared you’d been stood up.

Finally, you spotted a familiar spiky-haired shadow coming from around the corner and your heartbeat spiked in your chest.

You let out a shaky breath as he approached, relieved that he had finally shown up. “Hi.”

He offered you a rare smile, one it seemed only you got to see. “Hey.” He had stopped at the steps, not making a move to come any closer - almost unsure what to do with himself. “So…”

“So?” You questioned, your voice coming out far more confident than you thought it would.

Bakugo huffed and made his way up the few steps, sliding onto the bench beside you. The old wood creaked under your combined weight. He sat facing forward, choosing to stare out into the darkness. “So, you and Sero?” There was a bite to his tone.

Your eyes narrowed. “What about me and Sero?” You quipped back, your tone just as harsh.

You observed him carefully as he clenched and unclenched his jaw, bracing yourself for an onslaught of the usual insults you heard thrown at your friends. “What are you two?”

You were taken aback by how soft his voice was when he asked, and it took you a moment to compose yourself once more before answering him. “What does it matter to you what goes on between me and Sero?”

“Because, damn it!” He let out a hefty sigh, knotting his hands into his hair. “I thought we had something.” He hissed out through clenched teeth.

You turned away in disbelief, unsure of how to react. He planned this whole thing, the song, the apology, in front of hundreds, if not thousands, of people, but he wanted to get upset with you? Act like you had been the one in the wrong this entire time? Sure what you and Hanta had was artificial, but did he really expect you to wait around while he tried to figure out how to communicate with you? It wasn’t like you two had been anything official, so what was the big deal if you had started seeing someone? The questions mounted and mixed poorly with a nearly-venomous sense of indignation, erasing any of the calm you’d been maintaining.

You threw your hands up in exasperation, ignoring the way he flinched away from the unexpected sudden movement. “You know what? I thought we did too. But then you kicked me out of your hotel room, wouldn’t tell me why! You ignored me for weeks, Bakugo! I think I deserve an explanation!”

“Fuck! I know!” He shouted, making you jump. He noticed it from the corner of his eye and took a deep breath before he spoke again, this time a little calmer.

“I knew your phone had died so I plugged it in for you. Figured I’d save you the hassle in the morning. It started going off like crazy once it turned back on and I assumed it was those idiots blowing up your phone. He slumped his shoulders, leaning back against the bench. “I was going to tell them to shut the hell up and leave you alone so you could sleep, but the messages were from some guy acting like your boyfriend or something - I got angry.”

You fisted your hands in the hem of your shirt, feeling your nails dig into your palms through the thin material. “No shit! Why didn’t you talk to me?”

His gaze shifted to the floor, unable to look in your direction after hearing the hurt and anger in your voice. “I wanted to! I knew I had upset you and I figured you’d be over it in a few days. But when Kirishima told me just how upset you were I just- I couldn’t. I’m just some asshole, and you deserve better than that. I couldn’t talk to you.”

You glared at his profile, lips pressed into a thin line, waiting for him to face you and continue. The silence stretched on for several moments, so you cut in. “You could have texted me, called me, wrote me a note, sent me a fucking email for god’s sake! But instead, I was left sitting alone agonizing over what in the hell I could have done that made you so mad at me!”

“I realized I fucked up. No matter how much I wanted to talk to you I know I’d just fuck it up and hurt you all over again.” He finally turned his gaze to you, features softening once he saw the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He ventured again, barely audible “But now I realize that not talking to you hurt you more than anything I could have done.”

You aggressively wiped at your eyes as the tears escaped, realizing you were more frustrated by the burst of tears than you were angry with Bakugo.

“You had become such a constant in my day to day life, and just like that, the familiarity was gone. You were gone. You wouldn’t even look at me. I was literally packing my bags a week and a half ago because being around you was not only uncomfortable, but it hurt.”

Bakugo shifted on the bench beside you, uncomfortable from the sudden burst of tears. He wasn’t good with his own emotions, let alone someone else's. A slew of curses ran through his brain as he tried to gather the right words to say to try to make you feel better. A stab of guilt shot through his heart watching your shoulders shake as you tried to hide your face from him. Damn, he thought, this is all my fault. He slid off the bench with an exasperated sigh, kneeling in front of you and tilting your face to meet his eyes. “Damn it, stop crying dumbass.” His hand slid up to your cheek, wiping the tears that continued to trail down your face. “Especially over some asshole.”

Your eyes narrowed. “You’re the asshole I’m crying over.” You spat, pushing his hands away.

“Listen. I’m not good at shit like this, alright?” His voice no longer held the softness it had just moments prior. You went to speak but he cut you off abruptly. “Just- let me talk, okay?” You nodded, letting him say his piece.

He took a deep breath, eyes pointed at the ground. “I fucked up. I know I did, alright? I’m not- I don’t know how to do stuff like this, I never cared how anyone felt before you came along. To be honest, I regretted kicking you out as soon as I did it, hearing the pain in your voice then- Even now, it’s still… I don’t even know how to describe it. But, fuck. I'm just trying to say sorry, alright?”

“It’s called guilt.” You sniffled, bumping your leg against his.

He moved back beside you on the bench, and after a moment of hesitation he pulled your legs into his lap. Your heart fluttered at the sudden movement, and you were tempted to remove your legs from his light grip, but it felt right. You sighed and let yourself relax into him and he wrapped his free arm around you as you let your head rest on his shoulder. I’m so tired of being mad at him. You thought, I want this moment with him, I don’t want to fight against it. I’ve missed him so much.

His hand came up, stroking your hair with a tenderness that surprised you, and you melted into his touch. “I know what it’s called, Dumbass.”

You closed your eyes, taking in the scent of his body wash. It smelled like the forest after it had just rained, and reminded you of all of the nights you had fallen asleep in his room while you worked on videos or watched movies together. How you would wake up snuggled up to his firm chest and he would complain that you took up all the room on the bed so he had no choice but to be so close to you. You smiled fondly at the memory and felt a few more tears fall from your eyes.

His hand rested on your knee and gently squeezed. “I thought I told you to stop crying over some asshole.” He slowly brought his hand up to wipe at your tears, assuming you would push him away once more. The weight of his hand disappeared from your head, drifting down to wipe your tears even though he was sure you’d try to push him away again. To his surprise, you let him.

You pressed your cheek into his calloused hand letting out a shaky sigh when it lingered a little longer than necessary. You looked up at him through wet eyelashes.

“Say it again.” You mumbled.

He pulled his hand back, confused. “Don’t cry over an asshole? I think twice is enough, you really need to hear it a third time?”

“No, you idiot.” You sighed, pushing his shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

He smirked and placed his hand on your knee. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

This time it wasn’t surrounded by a jumbled mess of an explanation, it wasn’t a quick, quiet apology like he had done prior. It felt genuine. It was genuine. You felt like a weight had been lifted from your chest, and you could feel the tears burning in your eyes again, but you pushed them back and let a shaky breath escape your lips.

“I forgive you, but it’s not okay. Learn how to talk to people.” You flicked him on the forehead and he grabbed your wrist, returning the motion to your forehead. “Hey!”

“I’m working on it, woman.” He let go of your wrist but slid your hand into his, gently squeezing it before dropping it completely. “Shitty Hair already told me about you and Sero, but I want to hear it from you.”

“Damn it, Kirishima!” You threw your head back, covering your face with your hands. You had asked him not to say anything to Bakugo about it, scared that it would just anger the blonde and make him never want to speak to you again, and you were aggravated that your best friend had decided to tell Bakugo instead of just letting things take their course. But suddenly, what Kirishima told you had made sense. You two are going to be the death of me. At first, you thought he meant you and Sero, but the more you thought about it, he was talking about you and Bakugo. Mina said that Kirishima had been working with Bakugo for a while, and he was probably just trying to get a handle on the situation, tired of having to go back and forth especially if it was going to be all for nothing. Kirishima never should have been caught up in the middle of the mess between the two of you, Bakugo could have talked to you, and you could have just gotten over it and made him talk to you in person, even when he was ignoring all of your messages.

You narrowed your eyes once more, crossing your arms over your chest.“You drove Kirishima just as crazy as I did, didn’t you?”

He mimicked you, quirking a brow as he crossed his arms over his own chest. “You have no proof.”

“Stop copying me, liar. I can’t believe I’m attracted to a liar.” You reached out to pry his arms from his chest, but he turned it around on you, grabbing yours and pulling you so close so you could feel his breath on your face.

“So you’re attracted to me?” You didn’t miss the way his eyes traveled down to your lips, then quickly darted back up to your eyes, a smirk forming on his own lips

“I never denied it.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as he moved his hand up your arm. “You would have known forever ago if you hadn’t been so mean to me.”

His crimson eyes made their way back down to your lips once more, and you shivered under his gaze. “You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?” He leaned forward, closing the distance between the two of you, observing your features carefully as he drew closer. He slowly closed his eyes, but you put a hand to his chest and stopped him. He eased back, pressing his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering open and breath heavy as if he had been holding it this whole time.

“What now, dumbass?” He was annoyed, but his voice wasn’t as gruff as it usually was.

“I need to talk to Sero.”

“Oh? Need to fake break up with your fake boyfriend?” He chuckled, hands trailing up and down your arms. “Come on, Y/N.”

“Well, It’s a little more complicated than that.” You bit your lip and looked down, nervous to tell him about what had happened earlier in the night, anxiety eating at your nerves over the events of the evening.

He rolled his eyes as he waited for you to continue. “Spit it out, Y/N.”

Sero had been there for you for this entire ordeal, hell even before Bakugo came into the picture, he was one you could always come to and he would welcome you with open arms, dropping whatever he was doing for you. And what if that kiss had meant something to him? Obviously, you were taken back by it at first and you weren’t sure how to feel, but he knew that all of this was for Bakugo, and since this - or at least something - was happening between you and Bakugo, he deserved to know what happened.

“He kissed me earlier before you guys went on stage. He came down to get some drinks and we ran into each other at the bar. I just wanted to tell you because I didn’t want you finding out later and getting upset with me again.”

“Mother fucker.” He pulled back and his hands tightened on your arms for a minute before he let go. You saw anger flash in his eyes, and you were preparing yourself for an outburst. “I was supposed to be the first one in this damn band of idiots to kiss you.” He was trying to keep a light tone with the joke, but you could tell he was struggling to keep his cool.

“Hate to break it to you, he wasn’t the first to kiss me either.” You reached up and ran your fingers through his hair, always shocked at how soft his seemingly prickly hair was.

“Shouldn’t be surprised you kissed that red-haired idiot.” He leaned his head back into your hand as you scratched his scalp, side-eyeing you as you giggled.

“Wrong again! Jirou and I made out once or twice, no big deal.” You smiled as his mouth fell open in shock. “Actually, the only person I haven’t kissed is Kirishima. Well, and you.” His hands made their way down to your hips and he pinched you at your remark.

“I don’t know why I’m so surprised. You two did seem close.” Soft circles were rubbed into your sides before a look of realization came across his face. “Wait, even that purple-haired bastard?”

“Only once during spin the bottle when we were in high school.” You giggled, watching a pout form on his lips. “Aw, what’s the matter, Katsuki?” You reached up to pinch his cheek, “you jealous-“ He grabbed your hand, cutting you off and pulling you completely onto his lap, his lips just a few mere inches from yours.

“What were you saying?” He whispered, his lips just barely ghosting against yours, eyes half shut, staring up at you. Goosebumps ran up your spine as he ran his hands up your sides. “Not so talkative now are we?”

You inhaled sharply and placed your hands on either side of his face, rubbing your thumb over his cheek. “I missed you.”

“I’ve been here the whole time.” He squeezed your sides and kissed your jaw, leaving tingles where his lips had met your skin. You visibly shivered and sighed, leaning more into him, allowing him to continue the light trail of kisses along your jaw. “Come back to my room.” He whispered.

You nodded, opening your eyes and peering down at him. “After I talk to Sero.” His grip tightened at the sound of his name and you didn’t miss the way his face scrunched up in disapproval, but he lazily let his hands fall from your sides. “It won’t take long,” you promised, slowly making your way off his lap already, missing the presence of his hands on your sides.

You had barely made it two steps away from him before you felt his hand at your wrist, pulling you back and twisting you around to face him once more. “You really thought I’d let you go that easily?” His free hand landed on your cheek, making its way to the back of your head and pulling you closer to him, his lips finally meeting yours.

Taglist! @hopelesshawks @goustcop @pride-of-persephone @jadenyukis-bodypillow @unawi13-blog @sokka-simp @astroninaaa @pansinspace @oikawasiwa @thelifeoftheshorty @camry-orphanaccount @vhskenma @hallothankmas @pinkquartz19 @reblogs-of-things-i-like @xxoperatexx @kiristanfirsthuman2nd @introvertatitsfinest @garbagepale-kid @calumsfringe @itsmysticalmystery @sirachano0dles @bakugousflowerprincess @fukyouthink @ynfics @hadesnewpersephone @cirtruss @cherryblossom242 @chaichai-the-weeb @sergeant102105 @punicorn999 @definitelynotaundrayah @dangerousluv1 @missalienqueen @coffeeaddictedmay @nxynxy @tansyfleurwhisper @insane-without-delirium @ravenkake @thoretical-theo @overzealous-imagination @delightfulartisancolorauthor @multifixx @emomochi

#The Drummer #Katsuki Bakugo #Bakugo Katsuki #Bakugo Katsuki x Fem Reader #Bakugo x Reader #Bakugo x Y/N #Drummer Bakugo #My Hero Academia #Boku No Hero Academia #MHA #My Hero Fanfic #Boku No Hero Fanfic #Bakugo Fanfic #Reader Insert #SMAU but written

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thanksjro · 4 years

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More Than Meets the Eye #22- If You Don’t Love Thunderclash, Get Better Soon I Guess

One last issue before we reach Comic Event Hell.

Time to use a dead man to set up the rest of the nonsense that’s got to happen, because apparently 14 issues of setup, including six issues of literal prelude, wasn’t enough.

The first bit of information we’re presented with is the fact that Chromedome and Swerve are on the opposite sides of the camera-shy scale. I guess that’s bound to happen when your spouse has had his video-cam literally connected to his brain for at least several thousand years.

The art may look really gritty and hardcore here, but this is actually due to a filter Rewind has over all his footage that he’s neglected to take off, because it made all the wartime propaganda he would stuff into people’s heads all the more brutal-looking.

No, this is the style of our artist for this issue, James Raiz, who we’ll be seeing a fair bit of over the next several issues. Raiz has worked on the Transformers franchise over the course of multiple license-holders, as well as contributed to both Marvel and DC comics. He also works in special effects, including matte painting and VFX. That’s just neat.

Anyway, the reason Swerve’s completely frozen in place isn’t because Rewind switched out his head-mounted camera for a gun that goes off if it hears you make a self-deprecating joke, but rather because he’s conducting interviews with everyone in the main cast. We get all their introductions, Cyclonus makes a statement about his political stances, Drift sounds like he’s high as a kite, First Aid strikes a sassy pose while not being bitter in the slightest, and Ultra Magnus makes a move that would get him murdered on any given film set in the universe.

You do NOT use your bare fucking hand to clean a camera lens, mister. Go get a microfiber cloth and try the fuck again, you complete and utter duffel bag of a creature.

We get a quick cut of the speech Rodimus made back in issue #1, with an angle that implies that Rewind was in the front row of the front row, then cut over to Rodimus asking Rewind to document their Capital-Q Quest. This is where we establish that this film doesn’t only contain footage from Rewind’s personal camera, but also that of the Lost Light’s security system.

Which feels like the sort of access you maybe wouldn’t want to give some nosy little film buff, especially when you have a secret giant serial killing sadist living in your basement like a disappointing adult child.

See? He was given the job to record the adventures of the Lost Light not five minutes ago, and he’s already using his powers for evil. Eavesdropping evil. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Rodimus, and you just handed it to the guy with a massive Dominus Ambus-shaped chip on his shoulder.

So Rewind’s got permission to film just about whatever he wants, and Rodimus figures it’ll be nonstop action from here to the finish line! Fights! Intrigue! Mild hijinks and peril! Explosions aplomb! Oh man, I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shit will happen on this absolute roller coaster of a Quest!

Smashcut to Swerve literally falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. Yeah, as it turns out, no quest, capital Q or not, is nonstop action. Which is good, honestly, because that kind of seems like it would be exhausting after the first week or so.

Swerve, Tailgate, and Rewind are discussing cool alt-modes, which seems like an odd topic, seeing as Tailgate and Swerve have basically the same situation going on there, leaving Rewind alone in the camp of “does not have wheels”.

I worry about you sometimes, Rewind. Internalized Functionism is a very real problem. Uh, well, in your universe anyway. Us humans have to deal with regular ol’ classism and racism.

Rung gets brought up, and it’s revealed that the wheel on his back is almost purely cosmetic; it doesn’t even actually attach to his body. The lads decide that they’ve got nothing better to do, and set up a gentlemen’s wager- first one to figure out Rung’s whole deal gets 100 space-dollars.

Throwing shit at people’s heads will be a major plot point in the climax of this comic series.

Swerve’s go at trying to win the bet involved tossing a grenade at Rung to hit him in the neural cluster, which is rumored to be able to force an involuntary mode change if done correctly. Obviously, it didn’t work this go around. Then our narrative focus switches over to the crew’s hobbies.

You were listening to Prince, weren’t you, Magnus? Not even deep space is safe from the Cease and Desist.

Skids’ hobby is meeting new people, because he suffers from the terrible curse of being so fucking good at everything he tries, he always ends up dropping whatever he picked up, because what’s the point? This acts as a segue into another flashback, to even MORE bullshit that the fellas got roped into on Hedonia.

These are the Stentarians. They’re like the Cybertronians, if they were better in every way.

And by “better”, I, of course, mean “more bloodthirsty, warmongering, and driven enough to make their civil war last about as long as the Jurassic Period”. Also, they’re all combiners by default, and Whirl seems a little TOO into their whole situation. So much so, in fact, that when the Imperial Guard of their race show up to kill them, he decides to do them a solid by single-handedly ending their entire war.

You know, in most cases you’re supposed to show and not tell for visual media. This is way funnier, though, so it can be excused.

We jump back into the interviews, and Rewind’s just asked everyone if they’re happy. This might seem like an odd question, until you remember that everyone on-board this ship has crippling depression and PTSD, and Rewind’s married to one of the saddest motherfuckers to ever exist, so he probably has this question loaded into the proverbial chamber at any given moment. We won’t cover all of the answers here, because they’ll be more poignant to reflect back on later in the comic run, but let’s take a gander at the characters who’ve completed the first leg of their character arcs this season.

Drift, is that perhaps… an honest expression of your inner thought processes happening right there? Has Rewind broken through your carefully crafted persona, if even for just a moment, with his question? Perish the thought!

Because Tailgate outed himself as being baby in issue #21, I have zero doubt he’s not exaggerating here. He was a janitor, then he fell in a hole and became Dirt-Nap Supreme for six million years; even the most boring day on the Lost Light’s got to be better than that.

And it’s nice to see Chromedome on a good day for once. Hopefully he reveled in it while he had the chance, because this interview takes place maybe a couple weeks before he fucks everything up big time and has to blow up his husband with a missile strike.

Getting back to the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode plotline, we see Rung using his backpack as a wheelbarrow- no idea what he’s actually pushing in the damned thing- and wearing the most disgruntled face I’ve seen him pull in a hot minute. Someone yells for him to come down the eerily unlit and sinister-looking hallway, which he does. Rung would not do well in a horror film.

He winds up at Swerve’s, where Tailgate, Swerve, Brainstorm, and someone who is most likely Trailcutter, given the colors, are hanging out in their alt-modes. Tailgate’s ploy to find out Rung’s deal is to do what he does best- lie! They’re having an alt-mode party, and wouldn’t Rung like to join in? There are, of course, logistical issues with being a car in a bar, especially when your drink is on the table and your head is tucked up somewhere in your torso, but never mind all that! Let’s get crazy!

This doesn’t work either. Maybe we should cut out the middle man here and just get Rung drunk enough to agree to a wet alt-mode contest.

No, I don’t have any idea how that would work.

In our next vignette, Rodimus comes into the comms room, Rewind trailing behind him like a grim shadow of death, to see what the hell Blaster wants, other than just the hugest glass of water.

Raiz’s work is very detailed, and you really feel the weight of these giant metal space robots, but everyone looks like they’ve been put through a food dehydrator.

We get a lot of build up to the character who’s about to be introduced, with a common opinion being shared amongst everyone- even Tailgate, who hates successful people like his life depends on it.

Lovely readers, put your hands together for the ideal male partner for Autobots, Decepticons, and Neutrals alike:

A man with so much charisma and charm that only Rodimus could hate him, Thuderclash brings to IDW what everyone wishes Optimus Prime would, making our disappointing space dad even more mediocre by comparison. He fights for justice, and freedom, and the good of the universe- and he does it all while having a chronic medical condition that forces him to stay within a certain distance of his ship that is also a life-support machine, otherwise he will die. Despite his handicaps, Thunderclash seemingly brings to others what they need most, even if they don’t even realize that they needed it in the first place.

He also, in this one scene, appeals to Drift’s religious sensibilities, does a secret best-friend dance with Ratchet (who he helped to pass his medical exams- yes, Ratchet), and congratulates Rodimus on his questing so far.

Thunderclash is one of those characters that everyone in-universe is supposed to love, and I completely buy it- because he’s completely genuine and humble about all of this the entire time.

Compare this to the last time Roberts wrote Thunderclash, in Eugenesis.

Where he was an ex-Decepticon.

And kind of an abrasive asshole.

And then he died.

Y’know, now that I think of it, Eugenesis Thunderclash and MTMTE Ambulon being basically the same character makes a whole lot of sense, even without the horrors of Roberts’ Twitter getting involved.

Thunderclash reveals that he, too, is on a quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, much to Rodimus’ chagrin. But first he needs the Lost Light to break out the jumper cables, and then for his second in command to stop threatening his life.

Turns out, not everyone is as obvious as the Cybertronians with their naming conventions. Whirl assassinated the wrong folks; I’m sure the Galactic Council is utterly thrilled. Paddox wants to steal the quantum engine technology for the good of his people, so they can kick the ass of the up-and-coming Terradore leader.

Completely unaware of the situation unfolding here in the lab, Swerve is directing Rung towards the warm, loving aura of Thunderclash for another go at winning the gentlemen’s wager- through the power of lying about having friends, Swerve’s “agreed” to get Rung Thunderclash’s autograph, in exchange for getting to check that Rung’s transformation cog is still working. Then they bump into the nightmare currently unfolding. My, whoever will save us from this dreaded menace, who holds a gun to the head of the Autobots’ greatest warrior, confidant, friend, and perhaps even lover?

How about a bartender and a giant vape pen?

Okay, so Rung doesn’t actually turn into a vape. It turns out that the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode is also a mystery to the man himself. Because Rung is old as shit, the Functionists got to see this bullshit for themselves, and ended up testing him over and over and over trying to figure it out, lest he prove to be a flaw in their fascist ideologies. Fun fact: fascists HATE it when people they’re trying to oppress don’t play to their expectations.

The Functionists were the ones who gave Rung his little wheelie backpack, to make him at least appear useful. This sort of treatment tends to warp one’s head a bit, which would explain why he’s bothered to keep it for so long- internalized functionism’s a real bitch.

At least he’s not giving teenagers nicotine addictions under the guise of being somewhat better than cigarettes.

Back with Rodimus and Cybertron’s Autobot of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years, we get the unfortunate news that jump-starting Thunderclash’s ship is going to make the Quest go a bit slower for the Lost Light, much to Rodimus’ horror, though he does his best to put on a brave face; after all, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it?

It’s at this point that it’s revealed that “Little Victories” was being screened to all the Circle of Light members who didn’t get murdered or turned into Legislators on Luna 1, and man are these guys pissy. What was meant to be a recruitment video turned out to do just the opposite, because none of these guys want anything to do with what the Lost Light’s got going on.

Too bad Rewind didn’t have time for a cleaner cut for showing. Maybe they could have at least snagged a couple of these guys to tag along.

As all of the Circle of Light leave the theatre to go call everyone’s favorite Autobot to see if he needs a more crew members, the film plays on behind Skids, back to the interviews, as everyone promises more adventures just waiting on the horizon.

You’re not even on this trip anymore, you dork.

Chromedome gives us the title drop for the movie and issue, and we cut to Rewind organizing a group photo of all the interviewees.

And then Rewind died horribly like a week later. Thus ends season one of More Than Meets the Eye!

While I’m here, I’d like to take the time to cover a little bit of cut content from this issue, a scene between Drift and Ratchet.

Drift, during his interview, recalls the time that Ratchet called him into his office for a very serious discussion about his/Pharma’s hands.

Yeah, turns out they’re haunted.

Well, no, not really, because this is a prank. But Drift doesn’t know that yet.

Ratchet demonstrates this hand-haunting by punching Drift in the face, as he screams damnation at Pharma’s ghost. Drift, because he is a spiritual man, knows exactly what to do to deal with this possession; he draws his sword and chops Ratchet’s hands off, then throws them out the airlock.

This, too, is a prank, not that Ratchet knows it right away, yelling at Drift that he’s crippled him.

Clearly, these two belong together.

This bit of cut script was lucky enough to have gotten drawn by the colorist for MTMTE Season 1, Josh Burcham. Burcham’s line art is iconic- you won’t mistake him for anyone else. It’s rough and angular, and honestly just very charming. I’m a sucker for this sort of style. If you want to see his adaptation of this chunk of script- and trust me, you do- the link’s right here:

https://dcjosh.tumblr.com/post/107665292031/its-done-the-mtmte-22-deleted-scene-in-all-its

#transformers #jro #mtmte #issue 22 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

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paradigmsofbrittaperry · 2 years

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okay so I haven’t properly checked tumblr in like a month and a half, so here are my Red (Taylor’s Version) hot takes that might actually be lukewarm:

- a true cohesive 10 minute All Too Well never existed and Taylor had to just come up with some shit to stretch it out. let’s be real with ourselves, the song truly ends around the 7 minute 21 second mark. it’s a fantastic 7 minutes 21 seconds! but y’know.

- I prefer og I Knew You Were Trouble. it took me a hot minute to get used to WANEGBT and 22, but I came around to them after listening a few times. still not a huge fan of new I Knew You Were Trouble.

- Holy Ground (Taylor’s Version) <3 that’s it that’s the bullet point

- across the whole album, it’s amazing how clear and full the vocals are. like I can instantly tell from an opening note if a song is the og or Taylor’s Version because there’s such a stark difference. the novelty of getting to hear old songs with her current voice and new production has yet to wear off.

- as far as vault tracks go, favs are Babe, Message in a Bottle, Nothing New, and The Very First Night. aside from knowing that Nothing New is a fav, I genuinely don’t know what the consensus among the fanbase has been on those.

- I love getting content but I’m a little upset that Fearless (Taylor’s Version) got a fraction of the attention that Red (Taylor’s Version) is getting!! where’s my Mr. Perfectly Fine music video!! my You All Over Me live performance!! Ms. Swift that became the soundtrack to the first semester of my sophomore year of college please give me something

- that being said, this album release was perfectly timed, as I realized that I’m in love with someone that has been stringing me along for months shortly after listening to ATW10 for the first time so <3 I’ve been live laugh loving my way through life as I’ve been forced to confront the reality of the toxic situationship I’m in for the millionth time!! thanks for providing the soundtrack to the mental breakdown you caused Ms. Swift!!

- I never liked Stay Stay Stay but I love the new version. I think it’s honestly just the new vocals.

- my fav tracks overall are still Holy Ground, Red, Treacherous, Come Back…Be Here, and 22. honorable mention to WANEGBT and the fact that I listened to it as I was walking to meet up with someone to break up with them, even though I’d already broken up with them a week prior.

- when listening to the sadder songs, I’ve been envisioning the aforementioned person I broke up with listening to them too and crying softly and muttering “she loved Taylor Swift…” under their breath. they became pretty much obsessed with me after knowing me for a mere seven days and refused to hear to a single word I said for a whole three weeks until they decided on their own to break things off with me. they also once entered my apartment, took off their shoes AND their socks, and had the audacity to put their bare feet on my coffee table. I’m still mad. there’s a lot this person did in three weeks to be mad about, and somehow that’s the thing I’m maddest about.

- overall, Red (Taylor’s Version) good. too conveniently timed, but good. I started crying while singing along to ATW10 as I was driving home from work. the line “if we had been closer in age, maybe it would’ve been fine” hits a little too hard when you’re stuck in a pseudo-relationship with a 22 y/o who’s made you feel like you’re crazy for ever thinking there could be something more than friendship between you, even though all your friends and co-workers and bosses and relatives think something more is going on. anyway. I hate getting old.

#happy free confused and lonely has been my catchphrase for a while!!!#anyway hope you all are well <3 please feel free to tell me why I’m wrong or share your opinions in the replies #bri speaks

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songbirdseung · 3 years

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Wishes, come true.

Pairing: Reader X non-idol!JK

Word count: 2.2k

Rating: K+

Genre: Angst, Established Relationship

Warnings: the angst hurt, also the hit of reality at the end that this is just a fanfiction

Summary: In a heated argument, words were said. Hurtful wishes that ended up to be true with no unknown way of return.

A/N: i love you :)))))))) prepare tissues

Wishes, Come true.

If you had one wish that you could not return, you’ll have to live with it for your whole life, what would it be? Will you ask for endless amounts of money, a happy relationship, or would you ask for someone to vanish from your life?

Considering the state that you and Jungkook were in, you were unsure on what you wanted. Looking through the windows of your car as you drove home, made you reminisce on all the good and bad you have witnessed when you moved to seoul just to be with him. Giving up everything and everyone back home. Your parents warned you that it was a stupid idea, but three years ago you said it was fine and it was what you wanted. But now you realized the honeymoon phase was worn off, long gone. You watched the street lights allow light into the city as the night and darkness was creeping through. It reminded you of how once he was your light, but now it was running out of power and dining everything in your way to a happy life. Jungkook knew you both were unhappy but for whatever reason, he was selfish and did not choose to end the relationship you both shared. Driving while admiring the view was bittersweet, everything reminded you of the bad times. The sky turned dark and rain started to pour, as if the world was in your favor and feeling the same way you were. Everything you have done for Jungkook, up to this point was too much. Skipping classes to attend to his needs, cutting people off to add fire to the fuel of your relationship, lying to others just to keep him staying true and loyal. It was a mess.

Eventually the rain stopped and you finally got out of your car and entered the dark house, the house you could no longer call home. It was silent enough to hear your fast beating heart, nervous that a furious Jungkook will come through the door, ready to finish the argument you walked out on. Looking around the silent house, you found him nowhere to be seen, you looked through his closet, his clothes weren’t there, everything that had to do with you and him was gone. Picture frames, gifts, and shared items they were missing as if they never existed. Not knowing where he went you decided to call him, scrolling through your contacts, his number was not there. Half of your contacts, people you met through Jungkook are gone. You shook it off and went to sleep, assuming he’ll come back to his senses and come back home.

Meanwhile, Jungkook was back at the dorms, having a blast playing video games with his hyungs. He was laughing and smiling like he never met you. At the house, you were tossing and turning, looking back at your phone, half of your files disappeared, photos, videos, contacts, what was weird was everything that was gone was about Jungkook. Thinking your phone was corrupted you decided to open instagram to DM him. Sure you hated the state you guys were in, but you still loved him. As you scrolled through instagram you started to take notice that the post and feed was the same as it was back in high school, nothing related to your present life. Your profile also led to confusion, you had less posts and followers. You typed up Jungkook’s profile but to your luck, it wasn’t there either. Sleepy, you turned off your phone, wanting to push it for tomorrow.

Your dreams were even more confusing, it was a collection of memories you had with JUngkook but instead of Jungkook being there it was your family and friends. Things that you would be doing with Jungkook, but he was not there. In the morning, you woke up with a headache. You scanned the room, recognizing your old room back in your home country. “How the-” Nothing was making sense, you walked out the room, as you definitely knew you were at home, Your mom was cooking breakfast with your father. Not noticing your presence, you just watched them being so close and in love with each other. You watched them laugh and hug each other just as if they just started a relationship. Growing up, you grew up with parents that genuinely loved and cared for each other, that is why you looked forward to having a relationship of your own when you grew older. Then you did, you met Jungkook. But the bitter truth came out, the things you saw in TV dramas were not true at all, you soon realized how your parents never showed you their bad side and they hid their arguments. You learned the truth and reality the wrong way, leading you to lose someone you loved. “Good Morning honey” Your mom said from the kitchen, pulling you out of your trance, she told you to sit down and eat breakfast together. You were still confused on what was happening and how did you get here through the night. Throughout the meal your parents striked up the conversation of relationships.

“So when do you plan to get a boyfriend?”

“Don’t rush her, she’s only 22, she has a lot to experience”

“What do you guys mean? Have you already forgotten about my boyfriend, Jungkook?”

You watched their expression go from happy to confused, they asked you multiple questions on who and what you were talking about. Saying they never heard of Jungkook and your so-called relationship with him. For the rest of the day you kept calling your friends, trying to know what the hell was going on, but they did not know anything. You thought it was all a prank but it was definitely not. You sat in your room, dry tears were staining your face while new ones fell down your cheeks, you were lost in this universe not knowing how to fix any of it. You thought of the night you last saw Jungkook, the last argument you have. With you walking out of that door spilling out the bitter words I wish I never met you Jungkook.

Then it all made sense to you, God gave you wanted you wanted even if what you said was said purely out of frustration. The wish you did not want, but now you suffer the consequences. On the other side, Jungkook was meeting up with a woman to go on a date. He was happy and excited. Being the opposite of the person you were. Back in your room, your mom walked in your room with fruits and a box of tissues.

“I could hear you crying from outside, I’m here to listen to you” You told her everything, although you sounded crazy, she believed you and trusted your words.

After a few weeks of packing, you were now at the airport being dropped off by your family. Just how they did three years ago, instead you leave with a more heaving confused heart. With weeks of planning and thinking you decided to find Jungkook and possibly start over. Hoping everything can go back to normal and you’ll walk up to the night you fought with him but not walking out. Eventually you reached a hotel, not wasting time. You went back to the house you once shared with Jungkook, hoping he was there. You knocked on the door and waited for a few seconds until you heard footsteps. A completely different, unfamiliar person opens the door, a male. “Oh, do I know you?” explaining you were looking for someone, he told you he’s been living here for 3 years now. After apologizing, you left and decided to just go back to the hotel. You received a few glances, I mean, your hair was a mess, you were looking tired, and your outfit was not looking good at the moment. Passing through the city and re-seeing the places you went with Jungkook before. You ended up at the restaurant Jungkook confessed to you. He did it infront of everyone, he got up from his chair earning everyone’s attention. You remember how you hid behind his friends, laughing. You watched Namjoon and Jin trying to bring him down and Hobi apologizing to the other customers in the restaurant. Jungkook just stood there, looking at you, confessing his love to you. Back to reality, you sat at a solo table scanning the room, while remembering the great times you had. Your eyes landed on him, it was him. Unfortunately he was not alone. He was with a beautiful stunning woman who you were now comparing yourself to. Tears were forming in your eyes as you kept staring at him. Without noticing, Jungkook felt a pair of eyes staring at him, now he was the one scanning the room, trying to find the person who was making him uncomfortable. His eyes finally reaching your wet teary ones. He furrowed his brows in confusion, but shrugging it off, he assumed you were in a trance, imagining or maybe just crazy. Although he was feeling so uncomfortable, he excused himself from his date and went over to confront you. “Excuse me?” the tears finally fell as you heard his voice and how he was right in front of you.

“Jungkook?”

“How do you know my name?”

“I- just guessed?”

“Well, uhm...can you stop staring at me, do I know you?”

“Uhm...well, you do but it is quite complicated”

He was now confused, but interested. Maybe a little scared because maybe you were just trying to kill him or a cult member. Either way, he gave you a number you can call him from and then you can meet up. You thanked the heavens giving you another chance.

The next day, you met up with him at the same restaurant, but instead of him confessing, it was now your turn. Jungkook was already there waiting for you, minutes after he arrived you walked through the door, being the complete opposite person you were yesterday. Today you did your makeup and hair, put on a cute outfit and met up with him. His eyes widened at your appearance, stunned by your aura. He got up and bowed slightly to greet you. You did not know what approach you were going to go with. Because you did not want to scream and cry in his face pleading him to remember you. You also did not want to lie to him and say you were his classmate and you dated back then.

“So, are you gonna tell me why you were crying and claiming you know me?”

“Well, it’s really complicated-”

“It’s okay, I have all day”

“Please do not find me crazy when I tell you this?”

“Can’t promise that” He joked, lightening up the mood. Just like how he always did in the beginning to the climax of your relationship. He continues to console you and begging you to tell him, slowly but surely, you told him. He did show any looks of judgement or disguise. He was still ever so understanding. “Let me get this straight, we were dating but you suddenly time travelled?” As crazy as it sounded it was true, Jungkook did not know what to do, he did not believe you but he was kind about it. He continued to explain how he was already in a relationship with someone else and he does not wish to continue to meet up with you. And as you can tell and maybe feel, you were heartbroken.

You wished to have never met him, you got what you wished for, now you regret it all, upset and now living within a universe you never wanted. Now understanding the phrase be careful what you wish for. Throughout the life you lived, all you wished was to meet someone you can love and cherish, the way your parents did. You wished for Jungkook, and you got him. Thinking all good wishes come true, you took it for granted. Now you’ll have to live life without him. Now you’ll have to go older with someone new but with the memories of Jungkook in your life and the possibilities of what could have been.

“I’m sorry Jungkook, I’m sorry I wanted your time” It has now been years since you saw Jungkook. He was now married with kids, while you couldn't find anyone new. Haunted by the memories you had with the love of your life. No one could compare, you chose to not waste your time. Your parents were making you go on dates and each one was unsuccessful. Right now, you were back in your hometown, at the rooftop of your house. Looking up at the stars, wishing upon them one last time.

“Why did you do this to me? I never meant what I said...Jungkook, my jungkook.If you are listening, I’m sorry. I miss you so much, these years I have experienced without you was terrible, it is something I would never choose over you. Now I learned that I should've fought for us and I should have realized what I had. I hope you’ll be happy in her arms. Universe, my last wish is never let anything hurt him...Goodbye Koo”

The End.

#bts #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jeon jungguk #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagines #JJK #BTS JK #bts jeon jungguk #jungkook smut #Jeon Jungkook imagines #Jungkook angst

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whiskynottea · 5 years

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An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35, Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44, Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51 Chapter 52

AO3

Huge thank you to my beta, @theministerskat for correcting the same mistakes 53 chapters in without any complaint!

picture by: Kamryn Hinojos

Chapter 53. Dust and Smiles

When I lived in Scotland I missed the sun dearly. Sunny days were treasured, and I found myself smiling without any particular reason when the sunlight snuck between the curtains of my room in the morning.

But sometimes a person can have too much sun. And too much dust stuck to their body. And there is a point when you think of rain and realise a wistful smile has appeared on your face at the thought. It’s the same moment you realise there isn’t an inch of your body not coated in grime.

I reached that exact point on a quiet afternoon in June, two weeks before I left Zambia. Some would say it had taken me long enough.

I was left alone after treating the skin wounds of a couple of five-year-old boys that had gone out ‘to explore’. Their little feet had raised tons of dust as they ran away from the clinic and the first thing that came to my mind was that I was extremely tired of washing my hair every night only to feel it dirty again by noon the following day.

Then, just before the boys disappeared out of sight, one of them turned back to look at me, white teeth stark against his dark skin as he smiled, and waved goodbye.

And suddenly, I didn’t mind the dust that much. I didn’t mind the heat, or how heavy my body felt at the end of each shift. All that mattered was their smiles when they left the clinic.

My three months in Zambia were so full of experiences, I could hardly believe it hadn’t lasted longer. I learned how to talk to people who were in pain, how to heal them or -- when this was impossible -- how to make them feel better. I learned to listen to them, to search their eyes, to read their discomfort or pain in the way they moved. And I learned how a single smile can make your day, how two skinny arms wrapped around your body or two warm hands holding yours can fill your heart to the brim.

Spending my childhood with Lamb, I was used to living amongst people who were different from me. He’d taught me to look at people and see them for all they were. Humans. Different, beautiful, every one a worthy individual.

“All people are the same,” Lamb used to say. “All genuine smiles make the eyes crinkle, all hearts beat in the same way inside our chests, not aware of colour or tribe.”

In Africa, I saw life, and I saw death. I saw the universality of pain. I felt hands squeezing mine in terror and in gratitude. And I felt full. I felt alive.

When I first decided to volunteer I had thought I would find a piece of my mother in Africa. I believed I would discover who she had been, what she had pursued in life. I didn’t. And I wasn’t disappointed, because I had found a piece of myself in the faces I met in Livingstone, and I cherished that. And maybe -- just maybe -- that piece of myself was hers. Passed down to me, together with her amber eyes, an unbreakable part of myself.

Being a volunteer had been a full time job -- and a demanding one at that. But I didn’t want to leave, not yet. I had more to give, there were people here who needed me. But I knew that my time was up. In two weeks, I would feel Scottish air against my skin once more. I would feel Lamb’s arms hugging me for a few extended moments before he would push away to look into my eyes and pet my hair the way he always did. And a week later, I would be at Lallybroch. Jenny had asked -- demanded, actually -- to spend a week or two there. She had enough of the men, she had said when we’d texted. And true to her word to her brother, she had sent me pictures of the estate, in full bloom and beauty.

Jamie would come home after the summer term. We would spend two weeks together before his next term began and I would go to Oxford. To Oxford, where -- unexpectedly -- I would find a familiar face.

Robert.

He had been different since his personal confession. His arrogance and cheeky comments hadn’t abated, but there wasn’t an edge to his voice anymore. It felt as though he needed someone to know his story, even if that someone wasn’t a friend, even if it was just me. He clammed up after that and never talked about his mother again, apart from the time he’d told me it was her wish that had brought him to Zambia as a volunteer.

We started, however, talking about literature. One evening I found him reading that fantasy book I had finished a few months ago. And when the conversation turned to our future plans after Zambia, he had looked down at me with a smirk and proudly announced that he had been admitted to Oxford University. I’d almost spit my pineapple juice out and onto his face. After that, our expectations and dreams of studying at Oxford became the most common topic of our discussions. Robert would be studying economics, expected to inherit and work in his father’s wine business in Provence. That was a relief. The last thing I wanted was to have the self-centered, competitive French on my heels through medical school. From what I had learned about him in the few months we lived together, he didn’t like being bested by anyone. And neither did I.

Jamie was the first to know I had found a fellow Oxford student in the middle of Africa. He and I had been texting and sending photos all the time, and I kept changing my screen background, choosing the funniest of the pictures he sent me. My favorite picture of him though, was the one he had sent me right after I arrived in Zambia. He was wearing a wide, silly grin as he sat in the bleachers of Michigan Stadium, my Wolverine amongst the blue and yellow sea of other students. He had sent it together with a text, shouting, “MY FIRST SPRING GAME!”

Boys.

Despite the selfies Jamie sent me every day -- in class, on his way there, before training holding the towel I had bought him, or tucked in with his blanket at night in bed, my favorite part of the week was when I saw him during our calls every weekend. I was always trying to take in every detail of him during our video chats -- his beautiful eyes, the way his curls moved as he excitedly gesticulated, his voice.

I missed him and I knew he missed me too. Even when John was present in their dorm and Jamie wouldn’t say it, his longing was obvious in the way he looked at me.

Two weeks and I would be at Lallybroch, in Jamie’s room. It made no sense for me to fly straight to Michigan with Jamie having his final classes and preparing to sit for his spring term exams. I had looked for tickets to visit him right after the exams, but the fares were too high to even consider it.

We had agreed that it was not the ideal situation but okay nonetheless. We would survive it. At least, once I was back in Scotland, we would be able to call each other every day. As John had said, laughing, the force of the internet would be with us.

Jamie would come home at the end of August, after his summer term, and we would be at Lallybroch together, spending every single minute with each other.

“We have to make up for so much lost time,” Jamie had said to me during our last call, and the glint in his eye was as terrifying as it was exhilarating.

A text on my phone brought me out of my reverie and I realised that I was still standing under the sun, alone, looking towards the far end of the road.

I found myself doing that a lot lately.

Scot: John’s cousin is a pain in the ass.

Sassenach: Hello to you, too.

Scot: Hi babe. John’s cousin is a pain in the ass. She called him, woke us up, and she demands that we pick her up from her hotel and show her around.

Sassenach: Well, she came to visit. Makes sense, no?

Scot: It. Is. Too. Early.

Sassenach: It’s 1 pm here!

Scot: You’re not helping. It’s 7 in the morning. Maybe I can send her there, then?

Sassenach: Is that the cocky cousin or the nice one? I doubt they’ll like the dust we have here, in any case.

Scot: The cocky one. Can I come there myself? Please?

Sassenach: Why aren't you on your way, already? :P

Scot: Don’t tempt me.

Sassenach: I don’t have anything to do right now.

Scot: We didn’t send you there to relax under the sun, Sassenach. Get that gorgeous round arse to work.

Sassenach: It seems I’ve healed all of Zambia.

Scot: So humble.

Sassenach: Always. I took lessons from the best.

Scot: Fuck you.

Sassenach: What? Since when are you talking like that? I need a selfie to make sure it’s really you.

I spent a whole minute wishing his selfie to load faster, but I ended up with a sleepy Jamie on my screen, which was worth the wait.

Sassenach: So it is you. These Americans are rubbing off on you, no? AND I DON’T MEAN IT LITERALLY. Also, fucking seems a bit difficult right now, seeing as you’re half a planet away.

Scot: But I’m ready, you know, right now.

I could almost see his pout and the challenge in his eyes when I closed my own, and I felt my cheeks turn red.

Sassenach: Okay. Shut up!

Scot: DAMN WAIT TILL I SEE YOU AGAIN. JUST WAIT.

Sassenach: Oh I’m looking forward to that.

Scot: Aaaaargh

Sassenach: Eloquent. Now get dressed, go get John and Hector, and show the girl around. She came all the way from Penrith to see Ann Arbor.

Scot: I just don’t get why I have to go, too.

Sassenach: John is your friend. This is what friends do. I spent all Saturday afternoon shopping with Louise.

Scot: I hate you.

Sassenach: Me too. Send me pictures?

Scot: Always. You too. Actually, I need one right now.

I took a picture of my dirty dusted face and sent it to him, grimacing when I saw how sloppy I looked.

Scot: You’re so tanned, I want to lick you.

Sassenach: Believe me you don’t. I’m dirty.

Scot: DIRTY? OMG STOP TALKING. I’m hard already and I have to get dressed.

Sassenach: You are ridiculous. Have I ever told you that?

Scot: Only a million times.

Sassenach: Good!

Scot: I’m going to take a cold shower AND CERTAINLY NOT THINK OF YOU.

Sassenach: I wish I was there with you.

Sending that, I actually snickered. His reply came in milliseconds.

Scot: You are a heartless, dangerous woman.

Sassenach: And yet you love me. Now go shower.

Scot: I do love you. And I’ll prove to you how much once I get my hands on you, you tease. Ttyl!

Raising my eyes from the screen, I saw Louise looking at me.

“You know I can tell when you’re texting Jamie, from that silly smile on your face?” she asked, keeping her arms crossed in front of her chest as if judging me.

“What can I do?” I didn’t try to hide my smile. “I found myself a good one.”

Louise nodded and came to stand next to me. A moment later a heavy sigh left her lips, and I noticed the shadows in her eyes. “Margaret was crying again. I tried to talk to her, but she won’t listen. She’s leaving next week and she doesn’t want to go back.”

“Makes sense.” Louise’s mood had been bad the last few days. “The moment she’ll be back, she’ll have to deal with reality. He won’t be there, and there will be no way to escape.”

“She keeps talking in her sleep. She’s having weird dreams, you know.” Louise twisted her rings absentmindedly, not looking at me.

“I know. I woke her last night because she was murmuring and thrashing about. Jeremy was awake too, and we kept her company until she was settled again.”

“I’m sorry to see her go, especially knowing she’s still so unstable. I think her family isn’t supportive and that terrifies her even more.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Two of the volunteers I got to know had come to Zambia carrying a great emotional load and needing a chance to escape. They were trying to heal themselves through healing the others. The universality of pain, all over again.

“Charlie called me.” Louise changed the subject, this time with a smile. “He said he misses me.” She rubbed her hands against her thighs, awkwardly, but met my eyes when I turned to look at her.

“Rather convenient, wouldn’t you say? Seeing as you’re going back home next week.”

“Not all of us are strong, Claire.” Her voice was harsh and I bit my lip, regretting being so straightforward.

“You know better, I guess.”

Louise sighed again. “I wish I did, actually. I don’t know what to do when I get back to Paris.”

I placed my hand on top of her shoulder and squeezed lightly. “You don’t need to decide right now. You can meet him, see what he has to say, how he’ll explain himself.”

Louise nodded, sleek brown locks of hair escaping her loose ponytail. “I wish we were as strong as you and Jamie are. Everything would be simpler.”

“Well, it’s not like everything comes easy and we don’t try at all. We’ve just decided that being together matters the most, and we’re not sacrificing what we have just because we’re not close. We’re both stubborn and it helps -- thus far, at least.”

My phone vibrated against my leg, and I unlocked it to see a picture of Jamie and John rolling their eyes, and a girl in the background.

Sassenach: Out, already?

Scot: Yeap. She’s fourteen but she’s so bossy I think John is afraid of her.

Sassenach: And you?

Scot: I’m being a good friend, as I was advised to be. I already regret it.

Sassenach: Where are you?

Scot: Out for breakfast. She had the longest order I’ve heard in my whole life. She actually ordered something from the menu and then changed every little bit of it. It was embarrassing.

Sassenach: Leave a good tip.

Scot: We will! Hector turned red as she kept going on and gave the waitress a shy smile.

Sassenach: I wish I was there, sitting at another table just to make fun of the three of you.

Scot: Believe me, babe, if you were here I’d sit right next to you at a table in another cafe.

Sassenach: Drama queen.

Scot: You haven’t met wee Geneva yet.

Sassenach: How come she visited without her parents?

Scot: They had promised her this trip if her grades were good. They were. She’s really smart, actually. It makes her more of a pain in the ass.

Sassenach: Maybe the three of you can teach her something, you know? Humility, for example.

Scot: Not a chance.

I stuck my tongue out, took a selfie and sent it.

Scot: Don’t you show me that tongue because I have dreams about it. And I hope you’re there alone.

Sassenach: I’m with Louise! She says hi!

Scot: Hello Louise! Take care of Claire for me, okay?

Sassenach: You realise I’m still the one reading the texts, right?

Scot: Just read that one aloud.

Sassenach: I’m capable of taking care of myself, thank you.

Scot: I know. My strong and stubborn lass. John looks desperate and Hector is huffing. I’m going to save them from their misery because I’m a good friend.

Sassenach: The best! Go save them, my gallant lad!

I huffed a laugh and turned my focus back to Louise. “It was quiet today.”

“Mmmm.” Her eyes were closed, her face relaxed under the sun.

“Whatever happens with Charlie, you’re going to be fine,” I said, using my most reassuring tone.

“Mmmm.”

I decided to join her and close my eyes for a bit, but an elderly woman and her daughter came into view. “Well, don’t blame me for that,” I murmured and nudged Louise, who opened her eyes, saw the patients, and shot me an accusing glance.

“Hello,” she said as she turned back to the women, and we both rose from the bench.

Who knew what waited for us once we got back to normalcy. For now, we had work to do.

Chapter 54

#thermodynamics #the first law of thermodynamics #jamie x claire #high school AU #college AU #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction

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eurosong · 6 years

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ESC 2018 grand final - my ranking

Hey there, folks. So, I’m in LISBOOOON! I have a few posts upcoming today that I’ve queued, but here is the last big post I’ll actually write before the results tonight - my rundown of the grand final and ranking. I’ve tried to give a positive and negative for each of the songs.

Ukraine (14) + A lively, memorable and gently motivating start to the contest - How extra can you get with staging? Also, whilst I’ve grown to enjoy the song, it still makes me feel nothing because of its lyrical pot pourri.

Spain (2) + Adorable chemistry, true love and a song with a hint of old school magic. - Lost some of its gentleness and authenticity with the revamp – and I’m amazed that they added an instrumental crescendo but will do nothing to match it on stage. Slovenia (9) + A song of empowerment and being true to yourself by a strong badass woman that has become an undeniable earworm for me. Hvala da! - Will the staged hitch work as well a second time with a more knowing audience? Lithuania (5) + One of the most genuinely tender and sweet moments of the entire evening, and I love the vulnerability and emotion of Ieva’s voice. - Easily lost between Austria (7) + Extraördinarily rich and warm voice and a quality song that has a great progression between very different verse/bridges and choruses, which compliment each other rather than clash. - I don’t know what is more distracting, the bizarre outfit he’s wearing or the perturbed expressions he’s pulling. Also, that graphic where he appears to transcend is a LOL moment that undermines the seriousness of the song.

Estonia (15) + Elina has definitely got a voice. - This song has got little else. The great operatic arie make you feel things; this just makes me feel that the composers wanted to exhibit her voice but the lyrics and emotional journey were afterthoughts.

Norway (26) + It’s a song encouraging children to believe in themselves and write songs. If they compare what they write with the quality of this song, it’ll give them a lot of self-belief… - I don’t know how someone so smug became so beloved, and I’ll never understand how juries could potentially reward a song which basically consists of one awful jingle riff repeated over and over and over.

Portugal (8) + Portugal once again follow their own impulses, bring us something original and imbued with so much meaning and saudade. - I still find Cláudia’s voice very reedy. United Kingdom (22) + Surie is a real dame, a great representative of her nation and works like hell to get something out of this song. - The song itself is a cliché damp squib with painful lyrics and ridiculous sound effects in the background to try to make it less bland. Serbia (13) + Serbia returns to the final singing in their native language. Hopefully this encourages them to keep on that path and revive their reputation for having great success with Serbian language songs. Also, Balkanika are great people and they’ve served something very different to the typical here. And I love the more traditional vibes from the first minute. - The shift in instrumentation thereafter is less so. I also can’t help but find a lot of things about the song and performance offputting. Serbia’s answer to Deen and the ladies gravitating around him give me real “shindig at the cult compound” vibes.

Germany (12) + Germany’s song is a real emotional gut punch, sang well and with sincerity. - I really don’t like how they got around the no LED screen by bringing one just so that he could perform in front of a glorified lyrics video. It seems like lazy ass staging to me. Also, I could réálly do without the whole oh-eh-oh-eh-ohing.

Albania (1) + An absolute masterpiece in both music and especially lyrics, makes me emotional no matter how many times I’ve heard it. - Sadly, I doubt juries will recognise that. France (6) + This is one of this year’s best examples of the balancing act that is songwriting. They craft a beautiful and impactful song, but one that is simple enough to be widely understood. It will be a high point of human interaction in the evening and a powerful moment. - It’s a little on the repetitive side. And as a guitar player, I’m always a little distracted by seeing people bobbing about pretending to play.

Czechia (20) + It is a catchy song and Mikolas seems like a fun person on stage. - It’s still a song with ghastly misogynistic lyrics, and I’m sort of surprised it got through after an awkward performance in the semis. Is it just me, or did the Czechs pick backing singers who contrast in the most awkward possible way with Mikolas’ voice?

Denmark (19) + The lyrical message is nice. - It’s seriously one of the most repetitive songs of the whole year, and I hate the whole "doing the chorus three times in a row” schtick. Australia (23) + The intentions behind the song are nice. - Sadly, it’s just a wild assortment of clichés, and I’m flabbergasted it got through with a performance that more befitted a drunken aunt at a karaoke.

Finland (18) + Singing about overcoming demons and finding strength in yourself is something positive in my eyes. (I’m going to that well a number of times, I know.) - The performance is a hot mess for me, just throwing as many gimmicks and props at the wall as possible and hoping they stick. Also, Monsters really doesn’t show Saara’s voice in the best light, she gets quite screechy. And those demon children who sound like chipmunks take away any feeling of solemnity.

Bulgaria (16) + It’s a song with a stylishly mysterious and dark score. The lads in the group sing well. - I find Zhana a huge distraction – positioned as a centrepiece of our attention but barely singing. Also, I find it completely the wrong atmosphere for a song about true love. And the fly-by-night nature of the “common framework” means that the song is lacking sincerity and authenticity for me. Moldova (21) + They’ve ascended a little from the very depths of my ranking thanks to how likeable they come across on stage and the brilliantly communicative facial expressions they pull, which really bring the slapstick story to life. - At the end of the day, this isn’t a drama contest and the song itself with its thrusting dirty trumpet blasts and bizarre sound effects is appalling.

Sweden (24) + They’ve allowed a humble light tube store owner to survive another winter… - Sweden going back to the same old well of staging quality well above song quality. And can they please send a woman or band again? I’m getting tired of these presumptuous americlones - last year an ersatz Timberlake, this year a Bieber.

Hungary (11) + Absolutely one of the highlights of Thursday night. I got both chills and visceral thrills from such a candid and passionate performance. - Still not entirely my cup of tea and a tad repetitive.

Israel (17) + If this year really is a battle between Cyprus and Israel, then I’m with the latter all the way. Not my style of song but it’s thoughtful and on a pertinent topic. - Overly memetic, bizarre staging, and I still find it overbearing to listen to. Netherlands (4) + This is the song that is going to rock my socks off and make me want to dance. Love the message, love the music. - The cuts to the dancers seem less awkward but the whole idea is incongruous enough to confuse and put off potential voters.

Ireland (10) + I’ll admit, I felt genuine chills when watching this song and the rapturous applause the two lads got. Eurovision moments like this show us how the world should be. It’s a pleasant song and finally, Ireland is back in the finals. - I still believe a lot of the hype was generated by the video/stage show rather than the song, and Ryan seems a little opportunistic to me… Cyprus (25) + Portugal’s pyrotechnicians will have enough money for a very fancy holiday after this performance. - I can’t believe that this could be the winner. The music is extremely tacky, the lyrics are an afterthought, the use of one random Spanish word is galling (I made my students laugh by singing a song in Spanish and randomly dropping the word “biscuit” in the chorus) and I can’t help but think it’d be a huge step back for the contest. Italy (3) + One of the most moving performances and lyrics of the year – sung with an urgency and an anger that perfectly suits. And Metamoro are absolutely two of the loveliest people to ever participate in the contest and I can’t get enough of them. - The on-screen lyrics, meant to bring the song’s meaning to life, could actually prove a distraction.

#eurovision #esc #eurovision 2018 #eurovision song contest #esc 2018

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joshmspicer · 6 years

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lets get personal.

Nabbed from @pantherdaemon and somehow missed last week

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? “One Foot”, “Voicemail Freestyle Mike Wiebe”, “A Walk Down the Trail” (though it’s been a bit), “First Time”, “It Ends Tonight”, and “Survival”

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? @pantherdaemon It’s about time bro

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “WWE maintained little interest in scouting, much less signing, Japanese or Mexican talent, widely considered the second and third points of the wrestling world’s triangle.”

4: What do you think about most? “So at what point...?”

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Stopping for tear”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I gots pants

7: What’s your strangest talent? I can curve my tongue?

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) Girls deserve the fucking world but can go too far. Boys can be rude without knowing they are but can also be endearing.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? Not to my knowledge.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? A few moments ago when I was listening to “Undisputed”

11: Do you have any strange phobias? Not a fan of little bugs

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Yes

13: What’s your religion? Agnostic Lutheran

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Going to my car or walking into somewhere

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? In front

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Breaking Benjamin, easy

17: What was the last lie you told? “I’m sick as a dog, can’t make it into class.”

18: Do you believe in karma? A form of it, yes

19: What does your URL mean? It’s my old OC from my Xiaolin Showdown days, Jack Spicer’s brother. Brought it with me during the brony days as my alias and it kind of became more than I ever though it would be.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Weakness is my need to please everybody. Strength is my ability to listen to everybody and offer advice even if I’ve never personally been in that situation.

21: Who is your celebrity crush? Emily Blunt

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yes

23: How do you vent your anger? Either my listening to Linkin Park or venting in a text post

24: Do you have a collection of anything? Magazines, video game or animated posters, pictures, and t-shirts

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Phone, never done the latter

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? I’m just happy I’m not completely like my dad.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I loathe that one stupid fucking bird from Iowa that always does that same rhythm all damn day. I love an animal chirping that isn’t a bird.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? “What if you stayed in Minneapolis after Dad died?”

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. A pen and a water bottle

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? My usual media room. I’m used to it so it smells like normalty

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? High School Homecoming

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? East

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Sydney Sierota

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? Living and breathing in an attempt to survive.

36: Define Art. Creative outlet through various forms with an intent to tell a narrative, vent emotion, or for personal entertainment.

37: Do you believe in luck? Yes

38: What’s the weather like right now? Dark, clear, cold

39: What time is it? 10:47 PM mountain time

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes, YES

41: What was the last book you read? How WWE Should Have Booked The Book Vol. 1

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yes

43: Do you have any nicknames? Toad, Toadman, Spicer

44: What was the last film you saw? Bad Times at El Royale

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Worst pain at the time was a broken pinky. Worst pain over time was a fucked up shoulder that any movement caused it to just drive me into agony.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? No

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Probably

48: What’s your sexual orientation? Rather not put a label on that right now

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? Yes

50: Do you believe in magic? Yes

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Don’t forgive so easily, much harder to gain back trust

52: What is your astrological sign? Cancer

53: Do you save money or spend it? Spend

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? Technically it would be Patreon

55: Love or lust? Lust

56: In a relationship? Nope

57: How many relationships have you had? None

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope

59: Where were you yesterday? At home

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yeah the envelope that came right My First Girlfriend is a Gal

61: Are you wearing socks right now? Nah

62: What’s your favourite animal? CAT

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? God I could not tell you

64: Where is your best friend? Probably at home or asleep in the Canadian wilderness of the BC

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. I am not going to do that. Not sorry.

66: What is your heritage? A whole bunch of European countries. My dad’s side is known to be varied and my mom’s side is the same, but I’d assume mostly Germanic

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Reading fics in my bed

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? Murphy

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Of fucking course

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yes

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Save the fucking dog. If I’m that deep in my job that one more tardiness means I’m done than it’s not worth it. Plus, I can explain to them and my future jobs why I was late. I feel like people would understand.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? A. Yes B. If I can, travel places, see all the people I haven’t see in a while or at all, and actually finish things I haven’t ever finished. C. Of course

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Trust

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Fuck me for it but “"Crepuscularity” but it’s a sad kind of happy

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? Nice

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Trust and the ability to talk to each other about anything and especially when it’s about that trust or about things that are hurting the other person

77: How can I win your heart? Show genuine interest in me and what I like.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? Yes

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Oh god. Um...submitting that audition for “This is Why I Clop”. I wouldn’t know any of my online friends if it wasn’t for that.

80: What size shoes do you wear? 11 1/2

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? “RIP: This is empty because there’s no body in it, so feel free to go ham.”

82: What is your favourite word? Fuck

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Alone

84: What is a saying you say a lot? “To be quite honest”, “everyone and their mother”, “to be fair”

85: What’s the last song you listened to? “POP/STARS”

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? Red/orange

87: What is your current desktop picture? Still the ME 2 collage

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? I can’t answer that

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? What’s the one kink you hate liking?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Ask if they can talk. If they can’t and are just looming, try to get back to sleep.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Control time

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Oh this is a good question. That last 30 minutes of the Jan. 2012 BronyCon where I modded the stream and heard “You Only Got One Life to Live”

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Goodbye that sexual assault in the common room

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Always music huh? I’m gonna say Cher

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Los Angeles

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? Probably

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? Nah

98: Ever been on a plane? Yep

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? It’s...it’s not easy anymore. And I know I make a lot of mistakes and whine a lot and am in no position to hate who I am or what I’ve done and I know that I don’t deserve everything I’ve gotten, but...it’s hard to want to live life and enjoy little things when you’ve been told that you’re great at a lot of things and end up never getting there because you didn’t put enough work in or you weren’t lucky enough to get it. And then you’ve got this great big old dream looming over you that you can escape in because it’s so much to imagine what it would be like. But you know that deep down you’ll end up back home working at Menards and ending up just like your father. Well guess what? If I’ll never be shit, duck? Than I’d least like to fucking know if I ever had a chance in the first place.

#jmsanswers

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thoughts-reasons · 6 years

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Karlie and Joshua anon here Could you please tell me why do you think they are not together? Like do you have a feeling or any facts? Im just a little bit confused about this whole situation... thank you for your patience -a really confused anon

Hey really confused Karlie and Joshua Anon…

Yes. Fortunately - or unfortunately depend on how you see it, I am one of those people with heightened sensitivity allowing me to sense, ‘see’, and understand people from their voice, eyes, facial/micro expressions or body language, among others. And based on this, I can confidently tell you that Karlie and Joshua relationship is not what it is portrayed to be: a loving couple relationship. Far from it.

Aside from this heightened sensitivity I am also a lesbian. So from this, I can also tell you that her non-romantic interest to Joshua is not just because he is not the right man for her. But it is because she is not emotionally and sexually attracted to men in such way. That’s what all called gaydar, if you are not familiar with the term :)

Having said that, of course I cannot shove this sensing on anyone’s throat to make the case, can’t I? :) So, let me try to help you by pointing to clues that have made it obvious to even people without my kind of sensitivity to start see and sense it.

Now in answering this, my sense is that you are a girl/woman, but I do not know how mature you are in digesting my answer. So I am trying to be mindful of the possible gap on this, okay? Bear with me :) And you can always ask further after.

Key telltale signs that you can use as the basis of observation: Karlie’s facial expression and body language

I want you to pay attention to these two videos, and notice her body language and facial expression. I laid down point by point to make it easier for you. These videos are not about her and Joshua. On these video I am highlighting her’s and others’ expressions and responses when the question asked were related to boys/men. When you see this, if you are emotionally and sexually attracted to boys, ask yourself is that your natural response and body language expression to such question? Or think about your hetero friends when they talked or asked about their boyfriend or boy-crush. Do they show the same body language and response as Karlie’s? And then based on this, ask yourself this: with that kind of reaction is it possible for this person to have a romantic relationship with a man? Is that a natural reaction for someone who is in a hetero relationship? That, I think should lead you to a clearer picture and sense of Karlie and Joshua situation. When you do this, I suggest you do it with open mind - and heart :)

Do you have baby brother or sister? Or maybe baby cousin, niece or nephew? Or observe little children around you. Pay more attention to them, can you see how children are just showing what they feel or what they have in mind without filter? They can’t help it. Karlie is just like that, a childlike genuine, pure at heart person. People with this characteristic are having the most hard time to conceal their emotion, even if they are trained to mask or craft their emotion.

So all of you who are open book and genuine at heart, some career advise, do not go into front facing intelligence field or thinking about becoming a spy! :) I am digressing… Anyways…

Karlie’s interview on British Vogue Festival 2014

Point to note. This interview was in 2014 the period where she supposedly was already met and in relationship with Joshua. Minute 21:00 onward was when the interviewer ask her on how she managed her time in regards to boys. Pay attention to the following bits:

Minute 21.50 onward:

Rossie’s body language and answer.

Rossie is a straight woman. She looked at Karlie and started moving her legs. Moving legs is the kind of sign when someone feels uncomfortable with what she/he hears. It is the same reaction when you bounce your legs fast when you are nervous. Which in this case Rossie feels uncomfortable for Karlie. My assumption is she knows which side Karlie is leaning to in this department.

When Karlie throw the question at Rossie: Rossie’s answer was (with smile), “I always had time for boyfriend… cause that is a priority…”. Isn’t that a more common normal answer you’ll find from someone who has genuine attraction to men and has a boyfriend?

Karlie then laughs nervously and echoing to Rossie’s answer. This is a discomfort laugh, and her echoing and agreeing to the answer (that you made time) is an automatic (and common) response from someone who in actual the opposite of what is said. Look for videos with Karlie’s genuine laugh, and you’ll see the difference.

Jourdan’s body language and facial expression.

She start moving her body, and the tell tale was her lips movement - downwards, almost a feeling-sorry-wanting-to-hug-you-but-feeling cheeky-at the same time smirk, while looking at Karlie. This is a sign of someone who knows that this is a sensitive question for Karlie. Although she is less uncomfortable than Rossie’s. Jourdan is Karlie’s long time friend, and Karlie is her son’s Godmother. So it is not possible she does not know who the real Karlie is.

Karlie’s body language and answer. The tell tale signs:

Moving her head and glance to the right, away from the interviewer when she started the question. Normal reaction, when you try to think is to still facing the interviewer and/or glancing or moving your eyes to the left and up. Looking to right is a common sign of discomfort or hiding something in some cases.

Crossing her arms, hunching her shoulder (despite the smile), and the stutter in answering. This is a tell tale sign of being defensive and uncomfortable.

When she listens to Rossie talking after she deflect the question to Rossie, pay attention to her shifting her sitting and fiddling with her fingers, and looking down at times. This is also a sign of nervousness.

Her answers after Rossie (minute 22:59 onward), she made her response inclusive and neutral, “…whether it is a girlfriend, a boyfriend, sister, mom…” She deflect the focus (on boyfriend) to support system in general. This is also a common way people do when they do not want to answer specific question.

Karlie’s ET Canada VSFS 2017 Backstage Interview. The link is from @fuckthesoliddude blog. So credit goes to her.

Pay attention to minute 1:15 onward. The interviewer asked who she’d rather go with for sightseeing, Harry Styles or Miguel. Pay attention to this:

Minute 1:19 pay attention to Karlie’s change of facial expression. Her lips curled downwards. While prior she wore her usual expression, genuine smile. Downward lip curl is a sign of disgust or contempt to something. This change will be obvious when the prior emotion was the opposite, be that happy or cordial.

Pay attention to her answer. She prefers to go with the girls, of course being the polite mid-west girl that she is, she laced that with: no offence words and a smile. A hetero person with no same sex inclination will not show contempt and will answer or deflect the question in good nature, either jokingly choosing one of the guy, or choose some other man the she is more in favor. Note that the contempt, may also influenced from her ‘feminist’ mindset. (Feminist is such a loaded word, as such I am intentionally write it as such to avoid hastily labeling her as one.) Most people with feminism inclination will always bothered to any questions that insinuate that woman revolve around man, or that man is inseparable part of woman’s life.

Taylor is almost the same as Karlie. Their facial expression, particularly, is a major telltale on how they genuinely feel in being around men or women. In her interview with ET, this is the post I re-blogged. The interviewer said that she will go home with men - or something to that effect. Pay attention to the change in her facial expression (almost telling her, what the heck!), and also her answer specifically. If a woman is heterosexual or having romantic or sexual attraction to man, they will most likely answer or deflect that question in such way without that kind of expression.

One very emotion that all of us having a hard time to control, no matter how much we try, is when it comes from love. For your significant other, in particular. Even when you tried to mask it, it is like threatened to burst without control. And this is very telling in Karlie and Taylor expression when they are around each other, or talking about one another. You will see huge difference when it comes to her expression on question about or around Joshua. The same with Taylor’s expression around or about men.

There are a lot of conversations in Kaylor blogs pointing to obvious evidence of this farce of Karlie and Joshua, as well as the genuine connection between Karlie and Taylor. Try to browse through, and this time, try to sense with your heart when looking into those information :)

You know where I am if you still have question on this, Cheers!

#asks and submissions #kaylor #pr games #beardfest

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jezfletcher · 3 years

Text

1000 Albums, 2020: Top Tracks #25-1

Following on from Part 1 of my Top 50 tracks, here are the very top tracks I loved this year. It's been a terrible year, of course, but there has been some truly excellent music released. Read on. />

25. rook&nomie - soft atrocity (hyperpop)

me&you by rook&nomie

Once I fell in love with the music of Ada Rook earlier in the year, I sought out her other work—and being the prolific artist she is, there were several more releases that fell within the ambit of the 2020 music project. This is a beautiful bit of off-kilter pop, complete with synthpop bubblegum riffs and a combination of softly, sweetly sung lyrics and harsh screams. It’s a killer combination.

24. Will Joseph Cook - Something To Feel Good About (indie pop)

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Will Joseph Cook has a kind of effortless charm in writing enjoyable pop tracks, and this is the top effort from his (very late) 2020 effort. This is a pleasantly two-gear track, with almost a soft adult-contemporary verse, that somehow ratchets up the energy in the chorus to make you want to groove. It’s a catchy, very agreeable track.

23. Courteeners - Better Man (britpop)

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A beautiful piece of oldskool rock n roll, imbued with the melancholy of 90s and 00s indie rock. It makes it feel undeniably modern, despite the fact that all of its influences are at least 20 years old. Courteeners have provided some excellent music this year, but this track is the best. “I’m trying to be a better man/Whatever that is”. Aren’t we all?

22. MOBS - School’s Out (80s pastiche pop)

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A really fun bit of pop from Australian outfit MOBS, who are really leaning into the 80s-ness of modern synthpop. This has exactly the synth set you might expect from a 1988 boy band, delivered with a danceable energy that almost makes you visualise the terrible, terrible video clip that would accompany it. But it’s unashamed about what it is—and the energy it brings as a result is great. My only concern with this song (the better of the two MOBS songs on my wider list here) is that unlike Big World, it doesn’t have a horn section. And really, that’s a criminal oversight.

21. Luis Pestana - Sangra (experimental electronica)

Rosa Pano by Luis Pestana

A great, evocative and unnerving piece of music, working through highly edited plainchant, fuzzy noise and a repeated motif of chiming bells. This whole album from Luis Pestana was an outstanding collection of music, but this is the piece of music which first made me realise how momentous it was.

20. Hugo Kant - High Gravity (downtempo nu-jazz)

Far From Home by Hugo Kant

Hugo Kant is an artist that really came from nowhere for me this year (well, not nowhere: I found it on Bandcamp’s weekly “releases you might like” list), but his brim-filled November album was a clear stand-out, and took out my #4 Album of the Year. This is the top song from it, a plunderphonic downtempo soundscape that matches a complex syncopated rhythm to a menacing bassline with jazz flute twiddles over the top. Who doesn’t like that?

19. The Flaming Lips - Mother I’ve Taken LSD (psychedelic rock)

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The Flaming Lips’ 2020 album was the best of their music I think I’ve ever heard. This song nicely captures what was so good about it. It has an almost orchestral trajectory to it, evoking a sense of longing and disassociation perfectly for its psychedelic roots. But the overall effect is not mind-opening, but melancholy and introspective. It’s a great piece of music.

18. eleventyseven - Battlecats (synthpop punk)

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I really love this track, but it’s undeniably very stupid. As an exercise, it seems to be trying to cram in as many pop culture references as it can. The cynic in me would love to write it off in the way I wrote off Ready Player One, but there’s something undeniably playful and satirical about it. Couple this with a genuine punk energy—filtered through many layers of synths—and you get a song that’s genuinely a huge, huge amount of fun. It’s certainly enough for me to forget that eleventyseven used to be a purely Christian rock band. We all develop over time, don’t we?

17. Igorrr - Lost in Introspection (baroque breakcore)

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Igorrr is an absolutely ridiculous artist who in a perfect world would be shunned like a medieval circus freak. But somehow, his bizarre mix of baroque chamber music, thrashing breakcore beats and operatic vocal lines can absolutely take you on a musical journey. Never is this clearer in the jagged, unnerving Lost in Introspection, which pinballs between overdriven guitar, concert piano, tremolo-laden vocals, all with a constantly shifting meter. You can never predict where it’s going. Even as I’ve heard it about 20-30 times this year it still manages to surprise me.

16. Polly Scattergood - In This Moment (spoken word triphop)

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There’s something to this track which reminds me a lot of the great Kae Tempest. Scattergood doesn’t spit truth in the same way, but there’s definitely something poetic to her softly delivered spoken word lyrics, while an almost industrial triphop gives a dark synthwave atmosphere underneath. Even better is the way it builds across the track—it gets more urgent, darker, louder, more immediate. Excellent stuff and absolutely the standout from Scattergood’s album.

15. Dent May - Hotel Stationery (indie fuzzpop)

Late Checkout by Dent May

I don’t make up these genres by the way (a lie: I make up a huge number of these genres, but I didn’t make up “fuzzpop”). What is fuzzpop? I still don’t really know, but this is quite a folkish tune, downtempo and melodic, but incorporating some of the more atmospheric ideas of dreampop and folktronica. There’s something hauntingly beautiful about the melody here, coupled with some touchingly banal lines of lyrics (it opens “I’m writing you a note/On hotel stationery/Just to let you know/You’re extraordinary”, which requires some pleasingly acrobatic scansion). It’s definitely one of the melodies of this year’s music project which I get in my head a lot. That’s certainly the kind of thing which can propel a song quite high in this list.

14. Another Sky - Fell In Love With The City (indie prog rock)

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A hauntingly beautiful piece of rock, it’s atmospherically created with glissing guitar riff and lead singer Catrin Vincent’s ethereal vocals. She has a beautifully androgynous quality to her voice, jumping between upper tenor and soaring soprano, and it’s mesmerising instrument to put with this captivating piece of music. I love this piece of music and it absolutely elevated the whole album.

13. Lola Marsh - Like In The Movies (Israeli pop rock)

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Not the last Lola Marsh we’ll see in this list, which gives you an indication why this album ended up my #5 album of the year. This is a beautifully put together bit of soft, dreamy rock. Underneath everything it has this gently pulsating bass that grooves back and forward, end which eventually leads to a surprisingly exultant climax, perfectly matched with a swell of strings. It’s a great bit of music.

12. Ada Rook - Reverie (JH Ligation Experiment 1) (breakbeat electropop)

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There’s a shudder in this track everytime the overdriven bass thumps the first beat of each bar, it absolutely drives the music forward, but captures perfectly the anguish and anger of this song thematically. This is coupled with industrial synths, beautifully edited vocals which showcase both Rook’s vocal delicateness and her heartfelt screams (an absolute trademark of the artist). This was my favourite track from Rook’s 2,020 Knives, my #1 album of the year, and more than anything it encapsulates everything I loved about that extraordinary collection of music.

11. Trixie Mattel - Video Games (country folk cover)

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My favourite Drag Race alumna Trixie Mattel had a whole album of music this year, which included the excellent Malibu. But her top track was this surprise cover of Lana Del Rey, done with a wonderfully atmospheric outlaw country vibe. Trixie’s sweetly clear vocals reverberate beautifully over her ubiquitous autoharp, midnight dark whistling, and subtle tympanies drawing out a sense of dark drama from the song. As far as I’m concerned, this is now the canonical version of this song—it has more atmosphere and more emotion than the original.

10. KES - Na let go / (when ah) Jamdong / (with d) Boss Lady (soca)

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I’ve spent some amount of effort in the music project trying to find the particular brand of reggae that I like. It’s something that I feel should exist—upbeat, but still chilled, danceable with island rhythms. Dancehall gets a bit closer, but still isn’t quite in the sweet spot. It turns out, what I was looking for all this time was Trinidadian soca. This has calypso rhythms done with a punchy dancehall drive, and a Latin horn section to really exalt the mood. I realised when listening to KES’s album earlier in the year that this style of music is one of the reasons I so like Lin-Manuel Miranda’s In The Heights, musically often the superior of his shows (or at least certainly the more danceable and upbeat). This track is a medley of three tracks which blend really nicely into each other, and which give you a little journey that never loses its energy. It’s 7 minutes of pure fun.

9. Emerson Hart - Lucky One (heartland rock)

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If we’re talking anthemic songs, this has to just about take the prize for the year. This has the kind of song you just want to chant at the top of your lungs with your arm slung around the person next to you in the crowd. Of course, 2020 doesn’t allow for opportunities like that, but I’m glad that Emerson Hart is still providing songs for this purpose anyway. The rollicking 6/8 rhythms perfectly switch between a quietly building verse that smashes into an almost octave-higher swoop at the start of the chorus. The Americana-tinged instrumentation gives it an earthiness that grounds it as well. It’s a great bit of songwriting, and one that I’ll continue singing along to exuberantly. Even if that’s just alone in my room.

8. Uncanny Valley - Beautiful the World (AI dance pop)

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You’re forgiven if you’ve never heard of this band. This is in fact the Australian entry in this year’s Eurovision-style AI music competition. Melodically and lyrically, this was written by an AI, and this is absolutely and amusingly evident when you listen to it. But there’s something I absolutely love about this as a concept—how an AI parses and reinterprets music gives us fascinating insights into the patterns we find in music written by humans, and while there are moments of this song which are ridiculous, the input from the AI absolutely takes the music in places that it wouldn’t have gone. Of course, to call this a pure AI track is disingenuous, as it’s very much structured with human help, and part of the joy is the oddities nestling in what’s otherwise a very enjoyable bit of upbeat electropop. But so many of the elements just click for me—I certainly don’t think this is the last AI-augmented track that will end up on my end-of-year lists.

7. Villagers - Did You Know? (indie folk)

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Villagers are a band who I hold in very high esteem with regards to the music project. They were a band I came across very early in 2016, just as we’d started the very first music project, and they made me realise just what a valuable experience listening to so much music was going to be. Annoyingly, by our official guidelines for the project (which are that it runs from December to December), this is just outside the released dates, as the EP it came from was released in the last week of November 2019, which was the week after we’d stopped last year’s project. So by the rules, it’s ineligible, but by our own actions, there was literally not a year that it fit into. Anyway, I’m including it because it’s obviously a great song, haunting in melody with a pleasant acoustic backing track that still manages to evoke an eerie atmospheric quality. It’s Villagers back in form for sure, and this is an excellent song, well deserving of a high place in this list.

6. Chemtrails - Uncanny Valley (psychedelic garage pop)

The Peculiar Smell of the Inevitable [LP] by Chemtrails

A really fun track, which owes a lot of its schtick to finding more and more outlandish rhymes for “Uncanny Valley” (“we don’t dilly-dally”, "they don't get pally", “dark trash alley”). My favourite line though is “so I fell a few rungs on the social ladder/Things are bad, but they could be badder”, which is *chef’s kiss* to me. It’s beautifully rounded out with a competently driven surf/garage rock riff or two which provide a persistent bounce and almost a pop punk energy. It’s a catchy little tune that just has those little hooks—the humour, the riffs, the rhythmic push—that absolutely elevate it to song of the year status. It constantly puts a smile on my face no matter how many times I’ve heard it this year.

5. Andy Shauf - Try Again (indie pop)

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This is such a beautifully simple song. It has a storytelling element, as Shauf recounts a series of lightly amusing anecdotes in his relationship, all prefaced with “somewhere between drunkenness and chivalry/sincerity/honesty/etc…”. But there’s a beautiful light melody driving it forward, pleasantly augmented by a clarinet counterpoint, which also provides part of the iconic riff between chorus and verse (I still haven’t managed to tease out what else is part of that mix). It’s a simple, sweet bit of music which shows that tracks that capture something unique within a straightforward format can absolutely stand apart.

4. Lola Marsh - Echoes (Israeli pop rock)

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Here’s the second track from Lola Marsh in this list. These two tracks (this and Like At The Movies) were always high in my mind, and I thought they were likely to drag the album very close to being my Album of the Year. In the end, they stood out individually a bit more than they did in the album as a whole, but a top 5 finish for its top song provides a nice mirroring for the position of the album. This is melodically and harmonically great, and put together with a style that captures some Lana Del Rey style folk pop and a kind of dark country in the guitars. Best is the swirling harmonies of the chorus, which seem to develop modulations into deeper and darker minor tonalities before bursting out into an exultant burst of resolving suspended chords. It gives me shivers. There’s a different version of this track on the album performed as an outro without any percussion, and both versions work so well you can see why they included both.

3. Sea Girls - Do You Really Want To Know? (indie pop rock)

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Here’s possibly the best example of chunky, upbeat pop rock of the year. It follows the formula, sure, especially the split between verse and chorus. But there’s moments of truly exaltant fun—subtle steel drums in the chorus, bringing in an off-beat hihat for the chewy rich instrumental section after each chorus, the stomp-and-chant quality of the vocal line. I love it and it constantly provides a mood boost, no matter how many times I’ve heard it this year. It’s a perfectly constructed pop rock track as far as I’m concerned. I also got great joy earlier in the year watching the 4-year-old unabashedly dancing around the living room to this track. I’ll admit that that image promotes this somewhat in my mind.

2. Kishi Bashi - Never Ending Dream (indie pop)

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I am a tiny bit conflicted about this track. Because it’s a stunningly awesome bit of chamber pop—it’s a sound that Kishi Bashi has absolutely made his own over the past 5-10 years, and this is honestly probably the best track Kishi Bashi has ever made. That’s saying something for an artist who has made two albums in my top-of-the-year lists in the past 5 years. The conflict comes from the fact that this was written as the theme song for a children’s CG-animated TV show on Apple TV, called Stillwater, about three kids and their friendly neighbour who is an anthropomorphic panda. Obviously, it being a TV theme is not a disqualifier; I mean one of the greatest pieces of music ever written (“Theme to Ducktales”) was a kids’ TV theme. But part of me wants to believe that there’s a purity to the music that transcends the ties to the commercial. I’m probably being naive. And, I am willing to take this song on its own merits, because it has these in abundance. The chorus is exulaltant, filled with Bashi’s trademark pizzicati and delicate falsetto, and the moments of quiet are pierced by fierce percussive moments of syncopated rhythm. Let’s hope that Kishi Bashi is raking in the sweet, sweet TV theme dollars as a result. A song like this deserves it.

1. Dyble Longdon - Obedience (chamber folk)

Between A Breath And A Breath by Dyble Longdon

So we’ve had some instances in the past where I’ve been clearly wrong about a song, or an album, in the week that I’ve heard it. But this is perhaps the most egregious we’ve seen, because this took out neither Track of the Week, nor Runner Up in the week it came out. To some extent, this was because I’d already given Dyble Longdon an album award (I said at the time “I have a feeling that Obedience is actually the best song of the week”)—but it’s still unforgivable that what is now my Song of the Year couldn’t even win its week. This is a sullen song in some parts, with a melody that comes very much from the tradition of English folk music—it evokes thoughts of Scarborough Fair, perhaps—but multi-instrumentalist David Longdon brings an ecstatic crescendo to the music, with a full orchestral swell and complex almost tribal percussion in the second half of the track. It’s a blissful, absolutely thrilling moment when that full sound roars out. In a devastating stroke of cruelty, Julie Dyble, one half of the duo (and formerly of Fairport Convention), died not long before the album was released, meaning this is the one and only collaboration we’re going to have between the two. But let’s celebrate the moment that we get. There you have it. These Top 50 tracks are available as a sorted Spotify playlist if you're so incined. Later this week, when I post the longer list of tracks and albums, I'll post an even more comprehensive playlist of my favourite tracks, including tracks from all of my top albums, and at least my full 100 top tracks. Until then, enjoy your break. Now I have a magnum of Tripel Karmeliet with my name on it waiting for me.

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shortqueershakespeare · 4 years

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ALL QUESTIONS!! ALLLLL (except the one you said you were uncomfy answering ofc)

welcome to my daily essay procrastination (dw it is getting done I've just written like 1000 words and I need a break from literature type writing lol)

1: Full name - Robin, not sharing the rest (like I said)

2: Age - 21

3: 3 Fears - Abandonment, clowns, sleep paralysis

4: 3 things I love - Theatre, languages, my puppy

5: 4 turns on - Being dominated, lip biting, gentle physical contact, increasing physical contact

6: 4 turns off - I genuinely don't know rn can u tell its been a while since I got laid lol, so I guess, being a dick, using certain terms for body parts,

7: My best friend - Char is prob my best friend!! we currently communicate exclusively through animal crossing post lol

8: Sexual orientation - Right this is somewhat challenging still but I'm gonna go gay

9: My best first date - Would you believe I've only really been on two? I can't remember the first one v well but I'd be inclined to say that because all that first love shit was great

10: How tall am I - 5' 3" i think??

11: What do I miss - uni

12: What time were I born - I actually don't know exactly but it was definitely the afternoon

13: Favourite color - Baby blue

14: Do I have a crush - Yup

15: Favourite quote - "The universe is seeming really huge right now. I need something to hold on to."

16: Favourite place - I've got a few, a corner in the orchard at Hom, the nook under my window in my room, the bench up on the hill where I walk the dog

17: Favourite food - Stir fry

18: Do I use sarcasm - I think I was fluent in sarcasm before I was in English tbh

19: What am I listening to right now - Right technically I cheated bc I just skipped a couple songs, but Bad Habit by Ben Platt and the puppy's snores

20: First thing I notice in new person - Smile or voice

21: Shoe size - 4 i think

22: Eye color - blue

23: Hair color - a literal rainbow

24: Favourite style of clothing - uhhh does generally gay count??

25: Ever done a prank call? - nope

27: Meaning behind my URL - one of my friends once called me the shakespeare of nicknames as my other friend called my such a slytherin so i mashed them up

28: Favourite movie - Moana atm, non animated either Let It Snow or Pitch Perfect

29: Favourite song - Obv this changes a lot but the last few days, Wonderland by Taylor Swift

30: Favourite band - Stornoway

31: How I feel right now - Too damn warm and a lil sleepy

32: Someone I love - my sister

33: My current relationship status - furiously single

34: My relationship with my parents - good

35: Favourite holiday - when my friend and i went to austria at the end of year 13

36: Tattoos and piercing i have - zero

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want a few transition tattoos, a dodie lyric, something in russian, something watercolour

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Originally because it was 2013 and my friends and I were v much the typical tumblr demographic, this one to vent feelings about some shitty situations

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - Pretty sure they both hate me, I don't hate them, but I hate how things worked out

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - Sometimes yeah

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - Nope

42: When did I last hold hands? - Probably when I last went clubbing?

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depends, I have to put T on, once i'm actually out of bed probably 15 minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - nope

45: Where am I right now? - on my sofa in my kitchen

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - depends where i am, home city it'd be katherine, clubbing in cam, jules probably or char, drinking just in cam, umme or porters

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - usually mostly with mum, currently exclusively with dad because quarantine

49: Am I excited for anything? - getting this damn essay done and sleeping

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - yep

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - not that often i don't think, but i am very good at hiding my emotions if i decide to

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - like 6 hours ago?

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - not at all unexpected tbh

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - not at the moment, i think i've managed to stop trusting the person who would've fit this category

55: What is something I disliked about today? - my sister got super stressed and cried and i just wanted to make everything okay

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - ben platt

57: What do I think about most? - rn animal crossing or work

58: What’s my strangest talent? - i don't think i have one

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - nope

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - both, i love taking photos and i love having photos of me at important times

61: What was the last lie I told? - god probably something dumb like no i absolutely did not just steal your cup of tea

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video chatting

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - no, yes

64: Do I believe in magic? - no

65: Do I believe in luck? - yes

66: What’s the weather like right now? - decent I think?? it's like 2 am so idk

67: What was the last book I’ve read? - What Is to Be Done? by Chernyshevsky

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Fuck no

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Bob, Bobbin, Robs, Rob, Stink, Little'un

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - that would probably be me getting a fish hook stuck in my thumb lollll

71: Do I spend money or save it? - both

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - the fact that this said a tongue and not my tongue is... unsettling.. but yes

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes

74: Favourite animal? - elephant

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - writing the essay lol

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - morningstar i watch too much lucifer lol

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - rain by ben platt

78: How can you win my heart? - hug me when i'm sad, send me things that make you think of me

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - he was there for me

80: What is my favorite word? - mousse

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - okay so i have five blogs and am so tempted to just list those but sewing-and-showtunes, aeternumregina, oneoveroneisone, ballym, xx-thedarklord-xx

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - STAY THE FUCK INDOORS

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - shapeshifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - do i like myself

86: What is my current desktop picture? - hamilton and laurens lol 8

7: Had sex? - yes

88: Bought condoms? - yes

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - yes

92: Kissed a girl? - yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - yes

94: Had job? - yes

95: Left the house without my wallet? - yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - yes

98: Played on a sports team? - yes

99: Smoked weed? - yes

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - yes

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - no

105: Been underweight? - no

106: Been to a wedding? - no

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - yes

109: Been outside my home country? - yes

110: Gotten my heart broken? - yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - no

112: Broken a bone? - no

113: Cut myself? - yes

114: Been to prom? - no

115: Been in airplane? - yes

116: Fly by helicopter? - no

117: What concerts have I been to? - dodie, stornoway, show of hands

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - yes

119: Learned another language? - yes

120: Wore make up? - yes

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - yes

122: Had oral sex? - yes

123: Dyed my hair? - yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? - i'm british

125: Rode in an ambulance? - yes

126: Had a surgery? - not unless my fish hook extraction counts

127: Met someone famous? - yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - yes

129: Peed outside? - yes

130: Been fishing? - FISH HOOK YES I HAVE I NEVER WILL AGAIN

131: Helped with charity? - yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - yes

133: Broken a mirror? - no

134: What do I want for birthday? - a boyfriend lol, or tbh for quarantine to be over

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? - oh lord who knows, i like the name scottie and archie for girls

136: Was I named after anyone? - my middle name is after my gran

137: Do I like my handwriting? - ehhhh

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? - my teddy bear

139: Favourite Tv Show? - Crazy Ex Girlfriend

140: Where do I want to live when older? - Berlin, Cambridge or London

141: Play any musical instrument? - used to play the violin v poorly

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? - fish hook or pets

143: Favourite pizza topping? - pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? - no

145: Am I afraid of heights? - sort of

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - don't think so

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - yes

148: What I’m really bad at - currently? being motivated

149: What my greatest achievements are - getting into my uni, finally finding an antidepressant that works, coming out

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - oh yikes it's way too late at night to open that can of worms

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery - pay for my damn top surgery

152: What do I like about myself - I'm empathetic

153: My closest Tumblr friend - @oneoveroneisone

154: Something I fantasise about - going to pride abroad

155: Any question you’d like? - I'm gonna pass this to the anons, ask me questions?

0 notes

50cyg · 7 years

Note

We see so many indications of how much Yamato cares for Taichi and constantly goes out of his way to look out for him. Do you see anything that shows this love and affection is reciprocated, that Taichi is looking out for Yamato too?

Sorry for responding much later than I originally said I would:(

Umm… I feel like there are multiple questions being asked here

If you are asking if we see Taichi looking out for Yamato, myanswer is “Not really”.

But in Taichi’s defense, he is dealing with a pretty huge mentalcrisis and needs far more support than he can reciprocate. He shows anunderstanding for Jyou’s dilemma, but I think that is in part because hisdilemma is similar. Also, it’s worth noting that he is defending Jyou’sbehavior to Yamato specifically, who is also the same person he has had todefend his own behavior to.

We don’t see Taichi actively looking out for anyone untilSoshitsu (Loss), wherin we see him looking out for Koushiro

As well as Sora

As well as his little sister.

But this is in the same movie where we see him actively chasingafter Meicoomon, and once again making decisions for the group. So, it’s safeto say his mental state is in a much better place, enough to allow for him tolook out for other people.

In regards to Yamato, there isn’t any specific moment where he hasa need to look out for him in this movie, except for the scene where they areboth drowning. They do nod at each other in that scene, which could be themboth making sure the other is okay, while also saying that theythemselves are okay. This interpretation certainly makes more sense to me than“okay, we’re going to swim upwards, got it”… like “well duh we’re going to swimupwards”, I can’t see them needing to mutually agree on that :P

If you are asking if Taichi caresabout Yamato, shows signs of worrying about him, is aware of him, understandshim and returns his affection, then my answer is “Yes”.

In Saikai, Taichi immediatelycatches on to the fact that musical differences does not mean musicaldifferences (not that this is any kind of huge feat though, but still :P).

We later get a scene thatdirectly tells us that Taichi has an understanding of Yamato:

Not only does this show thatTaichi understands where Yamato is coming from, but also that he is notjudgmental of his outburst.

In addition, it may be worthnoting that his outburst makes Taichi question his current conflict, implyinghe relies on Yamato’s approval.

Okay, I’m stretching it withthis next one, but I do feel that there is a potential Taiyama reading to thefollowing scene. It’s one of the scenes where Taichi is asking Daigo questionsat the Onsen.

After this very briefexchange we see Taichi looking away:

And continues to look awaywhile Takeru and Daigo have their exchange:

My question is “why?”.

We can assume he’s stoppedlistening to Daigo and to the conversation at that point because when peopleare paying attention to a conversation, even while looking away, they usuallyhave their eyes glancing in the direction of the conversation. Here however, Taichi’sattention appears to be somewhere else. He could be contemplating what Daigojust told him - this is the obvious answer as we see him look down, perhaps incontemplation, a moment later:

But again, why is he lookingoff to the right, and what exactly is he thinking about? It’s not like Daigogave him much to work with, but the animators still drew attention to thisscene.

So, I theorize it’s becausehe’s actually thinking about Yamato. It seems like they haven’t spoken much since theend of Saikai, and there’s even some indication that they are intentionallyavoiding each other.

If you watch the shot justbefore the conversation between Taichi and Daigo starts, you will seethat Yamato is walking off to the right, in the direction that we see Taichilooking later on:

So, if my reading of thismoment is correct, then this indicates that not only does Taichi have an awareness of Yamato’swhereabouts to an extent, but also that he contemplates everything that is going onbetween them.

Like I pointed out in my Yamato’s awarenessof Taichi Part 2 post, at the end of Ketsui, Taichi notices Yamato looking athim and smiles.

This could be taken as him acknowledging Yamato’s concernand telling him he’s alright or as him wanting to reconcile with Yamato, orboth. Either way, it shows he cares about Yamato and their relationship, and isalso aware when Yamato is watching him.

Moving on to Kokuhaku, wehave his facial expressions as Yamato leaves from their ‘date’:

These facial expressions, tome, are semi similar to Yamato’s facial expressions after the airport battle.Taichi looks concerned (especially in that second shot), but also perhaps a bitconfused by Yamato’s behavior.

No matter how you want tointerpret these facial expressions, Taichi is watching Yamato intently as heleaves, so I guess we could say that this is an instant of Taichi looking outfor Yamato.

However, there is another scenein Kokuhaku that, in my opinion, makes it pretty clear that Taichi cares a lotabout Yamato and worries about him.

Let’s break down thefollowing scene, wherin Meiko arrives on the battlefield and subsequently has tobe saved by Yamato (side note, I need to learn how to make GIFs or video asap).

Additional side note: In mybreakdown of this scene I’m both fighting in favour of a Taiyama reading, aswell as fighting against a Meichi reading (sorry Meichi shippers).

Begin watching this video at2:22 minutes and watch until 2:30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9u2aaH7TYDE

The group hears Meiko callout for Meicoomon and turn to look, upon doing so, they quickly realize thatshe is heading into danger.

The first person to commentis Jyou who says “Don’t be reckless” and does make a slight move forward. Thesecond Jyou says that, we see Sora turn her head towards Taichi, while everyoneelse is still looking towards Meiko, as if she is anticipating his next move.This makes sense because Sora knows Taichi well enough to know that he, 98% ofthe time, has no issues putting himself in danger to protect others.

Taichi proceeds to call Meikoan idiot and move forward as if to try and stop her or protect her. This is nodifferent from his actions in Saikai, when he realized she was in danger ofbeing attacked by Alphamon and made a move to protect her. Except that inSaikai he was stopped by his PTSD, while in this movie he is held back by Sora.

Then we hear Mimi call outMeiko’s name (her dialogue is not in the subs, but if you listen you canclearly hear Mimi say “Meimei” slightly after Sora says “don’t”).

So, in this sequence we have3 of the Digidestined showing concern for Meiko, and both Jyou and Taichi moveforward, so both can be read as considering running to protect her or intercepther.

Watch video from 0:00-0:15

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cL6Em_57-A

When Ikakumon gets throwninto the glass, we see that Meiko is dangerously close to the explosion itcauses. The chosen can obviously see this as well and all look equallyconcerned, though Taichi is the only one to call out to her, yelling “watchout” (I concede that this could be a point in Meichi’s favor).

However, we then see Yamatojump in to push her out of the way just before a ton of metal poles are aboutto impale her. And then we hear Taichi scream Yamato’s name.

This was always aninteresting moment to me because he screams Yamato’s name after we, theaudience, see that him and Meiko are safely out of harm’s way. This leads me tobelieve one of two things. Either it’s screamed in post shock of seeing Yamatorisk his life, or,

If you look at this shot youwill notice there is a cloud of dust from the debree in front of them. I haveno idea what the other kids line of sight is on Yamato and Meiko, but I thinkit is entirely plausible that Taichi and the others cannot see if the two areokay until after the dust cloud clears. So, when Taichi screams for Yamato,it’s because he cannot see whether or not Yamato is okay and is scared that hemay be injured.

Either way though, I think itspeaks volumes that Taichi is the only one to call out Yamato’s name, which, Imight add, is not a common thing to happen. Usually more than one of the chosenacknowledges when someone else is potentially in danger or something happens tothem. This leads me to believe that the creators really wanted to highlightTaichi’s concern for Yamato (and only Yamato, he doesn’t call out Meiko’s nameat all).

Actually, in this wholescene, Mimi is the only one to call for Meiko, the others acknowledge she is indanger but don’t call out her name the way Mimi does (points to Meimi).

I also want to add, and noone has to agree with me on this, but I personally feel that the delivery ofthe line “Yamato” (delivered to show Taichi’s concern for Yamato) has way morefear and concern packed behind it than the line “Watch out” (delivered to showTaichi’s concern for Meiko).

In Shoshitsu, we have himquoting Yamato word for word when he makes the decision to find Meicoomon andreunite her with Meiko. This indicates that he genuinely takes the thingsYamato says to heart.

Lastly, we have the fact thatTaichi is always teasing Yamato:

His teasing of Yamatoindicates that he likes getting reactions out of him, and possibly gouge hisfacial expressions. This is also a pretty staple anime romance trope, havingthe one love interest tease the other because they enjoy seeing their reactions.It’s a pretty classic thing to see in real life romantic relationshipsas well.

So, I don’t think that Taichiwatches out for Yamato the way Yamato watches out for him, but like I alludedto before, Taichi is the one who needs looking out for right now. It’s his turnto have Yamato watch out for him, cause Taichi was watching out for Yamato alot in Adventure while Yamato was going through his whole crisis (I should makea post about that someday).

But, there is absolutely nodoubt in my mind that Taichi understands and cares very deeply for Yamato. Idefinitely think Yamato’s affection is reciprocated.

#50cyg answers #taiyama #digihusbands #taichi x yamato #i did not rewatch all of tri to make this so I could definitely be missing some moments #i am so sorry I forgot to initially put this under a cut #i probably just pissed off a ton of people who got this on their dash in it's full length

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imnoexpertblog · 5 years

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Lonely Netflix Movie Binge

6/21/18

In my boredom with Baby being gone on his business trip and needing something to watch/listen to while I pack up our apartment, I have been watching random Netflix movies that were suggested to me based on my interest and past viewings. I never watch new movies alone. I can re-watch anything I want by myself but I like seeing new stuff with someone else. Over some intense self-reflection the past few years I think this is because I have always had company in some form throughout my life. I was rarely alone. I never had to do anything myself. My mom was very social when I was growing up and she always had friends over. My siblings were also always with me. Then as I got older, I was usually in a relationship. When I was single, I had a roommate I was very close to. I’ve become used to doing things with someone else. Going out to eat, watching new movies, going to events, even just hanging out. It’s not to say I can’t do these things by myself, I have grown to appreciate my alone-time. But. I prefer to have company when doing certain things. I like sharing experiences with people; talking about what we are doing, making memories, having someone else to enjoy time with. But with Baby being away, I forced myself to watch six whole new movies by myself! These are the ones and what I thought about them. (I tried to pick unique and understated ones but that were still specifically recommended to me by Netflix and that went… Not so great).

Adore

“Two lifelong best friends each begin a steamy affair with the other's son, but trouble begins to brew when one of the two young men desires a lover his own age.” I have seen the cover art for this movie for a long time now, maybe a year. I don’t know why I have skipped over it every time until this week; maybe because I never read what it was about. The synopsis intrigued me enough to start watching it though. Seems pretty risky and taboo, doesn’t it? That always makes something enticing. I will say, though, it is odd. It has a soap-opera type of feel to it. Instead of being really cliché, it turned out to feel a little deeper than that. I am not sure how believable the whole plot is, but who watches a movie to see a boring realistic story? I was pleased with the cast and the acting. I think it was scored well, too. There is tension and drama, but it’s a calm flick. I wasn’t sure what to make of this movie until I found out it’s actually a French production. That changed my perspective a bit, considering the difference in culture. The setting made it easy to watch; the beach is absolutely gorgeous. I was genuinely interested to see how in the world this unique situation would turn out. The reviews aren’t very good, but I didn’t hate it, my any means. I thought it was interesting to see how everything played out for them all.

Open House

“A teenager and his mother find themselves besieged by threatening forces when they move into a new house.” This one I was excited for initially when it was new. I like thrillers and I like the main actor, Dylan Minnette from 13 Reasons Why. But man oh man. This movie is so slow. Not until half-way through the film did I actually feel some excitement or anticipate what comes next. The whole beginning half I was just kind of waiting. The “build-up” didn’t build me up at all. I was bored watching this. The real excitement did start until there was 22 minutes left in the movie. A lot of wasted time, if you ask me. The same “scary” weird things happen through the entire first 3/4 of the movie and it was just redundant and anticlimactic. But once it got going, HOLY COW. I will say I was so confused because there didn’t seem to be anything in the movie that would point me in any direction of guessing what was happening once the action was going down. So, that also frustrated me. It was a pretty intense last 20 minutes or so, but that is not to say it was good. Thumbs down for sure.

Below Her Mouth

“Jasmine is a successful fashion editor living with her fiancé. On a night out in the city with her best friend, she meets Dallas, a roofer recently out of a relationship. Surprised by the confidence with which Dallas pursues her, Jasmine turns Dallas down but can't get her out of her head. When Jasmine finally succumbs, the two women embark on a steamy affair that forces them both to re-evaluate their lives.” Okay. I didn’t expect this movie to have so much sex in it. Again, I watched it out of intrigue for the taboo nature of it. And taboo it was, oh my goodness. There was no limit to nudity or openness of sexual scenes. I have no issue with intimate scenes, but I was surprised to see just how much there was involved in the film. It seemed to be overkill at some points. I was fascinated by how these two women acted with and towards each other so early on in knowing each other. I guess I can’t judge. Baby and I felt like we were together forever by the time we were a week into seeing each other. We acted like it, too. Anyway, this movie just seemed like a lot of erotic moments with little substance. I did need to know how this affair would unravel, though. Not sure how I feel about the ending. All of that being said, I wasn’t sure how to rate this. It is rated pretty poorly overall. A lot of people attacked the main focus being on sex. Which it was. It got in the way of getting to know the characters. There was nothing to invest myself in. The acting was also dull until the erotic scenes. The more I type, the more I realize that I was unimpressed, as was everyone else. I’ve read that this is a crappy version of another movie on Netflix, “Blue is the Warmest Color.” Maybe I will watch that next.

Friend Request

“Laura is a popular college student who graciously accepts an online friend request from Marina, a young social outcast. To everyone's shock, Marina takes her own life after Laura decides to unfriend her. Soon, a disturbing and mysterious video appears on Laura's profile and her contacts slowly dwindle. When her friends suddenly begin to die one by one, the frightened young woman must figure out a way to stop the carnage before it's too late.” I remember seeing the trailer for this in theaters back when it came out 2 years ago. I did NOT want to watch this movie. I thought it looked ridiculous, to be honest. I have never been interested in the social . I know I shouldn’t watch anything remotely scary if I have to sleep alone (I have issues with a type of nightmare/sleep disorder but we will get into that another time) but beyond my better judgement, I watched it anyway. I was actually very interested the whole time I was watching. I did think the kills were different. The reviews are horrible. People have ripped this movie apart. Maybe I’m a broken human being (LOL) but I didn’t mind it. I also actually really enjoyed the ending. I wasn’t sure how this could end up, but I like the way they did it. Again, I’m on the fence about rating it. I wouldn’t say it was great, but I wasn’t struggling to watch it either.

Inconceivable

“Angela develops a friendship with a mysterious woman named Katie and offers her a job as a live-in nanny. The natural bond soon turns into a dangerous obsession as Katie becomes overly attached to the family's young daughter. Enduring lies and manipulations, Angela and her husband realize that sweet Katie is actually trying to destroy their family from within.” This started off with a bang. It also revealed the twist within the first half of the movie. I was pretty interested in it the whole time because I liked the story-line. You get enough information at the right pace. It didn’t drag and it didn’t bore me at any time. I was a little apprehensive with how all these movies have been underwhelming this week, but I liked this. I didn’t find it predictable. The reviews, you guessed it, are bad. I actually rarely agree with reviews on movies that aren’t huge. I didn’t this movie to have crappy reviews though, to be honest. I recommend this movie.

Dismissed

“An optimistic, straight-edged teacher finds trouble when a star student is willing to do anything to get an A.” Alright. First of all. Dylan Sprouse acted the hell out of this role. I was thoroughly impressed with him in this film. He was so believable! A great film about psychopathy. I was hooked right away, even with the vague synopsis/summary. There was so much potential for this to be so cheesy but it wasn’t at all. They didn’t hold back in this film; the incidents that occurred. Some reviews said it was predictable but I highly disagree. Reviews also said it was low budget (is also said that they did well with such a low budget) but I didn’t see it that way. I don't want to give too much away because really liked it and I recommend it.

I wish I had better suggestions for you guys, I really only recommend Inconceivable and Dismissed out of these six movies. I guess I’d say watch Adore if you are bored and wanna throw something on for background noise; something to catch every now and then while cleaning maybe. Friend Request might have been something I liked just because I like scary movies, but watching those can be fun. Below Her Mouth, honestly is just super erotic. Take that as you may. And lastly… Please, I beg of you, never waste your time on Open House.

In other news, I have decided to take this day to myself. If you are not my fiancé, I can't promise I will be talking to you today. I have packed a lot (which I wouldn't have gotten done without the help of my sister Vanny, my best friend from work, Ryan, and his best friend named Cal), slept less than I've wanted to, been to the bank too many times, and have seen my mortgage lender too often lately. It is time to shower, sleep, watch better movies for sure, and lay around without having to answer ANYONE. If you feel like you've been stretched too thin or you're stressed, you should consider doing the same. I've been non-stop going at it for about six weeks now and I deserve this. I love you all, but I need today. Comment away, just expect a response tomorrow. Xoxo.

0 notes

ismael37olson · 6 years

Text

Jon ALi Presents: The Top 60 Singles Of 2017!

IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

If you’ve been paying attention, I’ve already worked my way through my Top 50 Albums Of 2017 and Top 20 Music Videos Of 2017. So now, without any further ado – it’s time for the finale: The Top 60 Singles Of 2017!

This list, specifically, is always a pain in my behind because I feel slightly ridiculous ranking songs that I genuinely love. The truth is: I think all these songs are great. I’ve enjoyed them all throughout the year for all different reasons and there is no real big difference between song #45 and #15. It’s not what charted the highest on the Billboard Hot 100 or what broke the most records. This is me just taking into the consideration what I played and loved the most in 2017 so please bore someone else with your disagreements.

If you’re interested in listening to my Top 60 Singles of 2017 all at once, subscribe to the playlist on Spotify and Apple Music below – and, as always, let me know what you think and feel free to comment with your own list!

60. Louisa Johnson – Best Behaviour 59. Mabel – Finders Keepers (feat. Kojo Funds) 58. Niall Horan – Slow Hands 57. The Aces – Physical 56. Paloma Faith – Crybaby 55. Paramore – Hard Times 54. Sofi Tukker – Best Friend (feat. NERVO, The Knocks & Alisa Ueno) 53. Calvin Harris – Slide (feat. Frank Ocean and Migos) 52. Zedd & Alessia Cara – Stay 51. Allie X – Casanova (feat. VÉRITÉ) 50. Astrid S – Breathe 49. Jaira Burns – Ugly 48. Maty Noyes – Say It To My Face 47. HAIM – Want You Back 46. Grace Mitchell – Come Back For You 45. Maren Morris – I Could Use A Love Song 44. Lauv – Like Me Better 43. Leland – Mattress 42. Becky G – Mayores 41. DJ Khaled – Wild Thoughts (feat. Rihanna) 40. Majid Jordan – One I Want (feat. PARTYNEXTDOOR) 39. Miguel – Sky Walker (feat. Travis Scott) 38. Bruno Mars – That’s What I Like 37. Demi Lovato – Sorry Not Sorry 36. Halsey – Now or Never 35. Cardi B – Bodak Yellow 34. Drake – Passionfruit 33. Kelela – LMK 32. Aly & AJ – Take Me 31. Bleachers – Don’t Take The Money 30. Lady Gaga – The Cure 29. Shawn Mendes – There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back 28. The Weeknd – I Feel It Coming (feat. Daft Punk) 27. Mura Masa – 1 Night (feat. Charli XCX) 26. Selena Gomez – Bad Liar 25. Camila Cabello – Havana (feat. Young Thug) 24. Little Mix – Touch 23. Tove Lo – Disco Tits 22. Katy Perry – Chained To The Rhythm 21. Rita Ora – Anywhere 20. Kesha – Praying 19. MUNA – I Know A Place 18. Clean Bandit – Symphony (feat. Zara Larsson) 17. SZA – Love Galore (feat. Travis Scott) 16. Kendrick Lamar & Rihanna – LOYALTY. 15. Carly Rae Jepsen – Cut To The Feeling 14. Kim Petras – I Don’t Want It At All 13. Lana Del Rey – Lust For Life (feat. The Weeknd) 12. Miley Cyrus – Malibu 11. Lorde – Green Light

10. Jax Jones – “You Don’t Know Me”: English DJ-producer Jax Jones kept his light shining bright with a consistent run of fresh original material and remixes galore all year long, but it was this addictive, RAYE-assisted dance throb that kicked it off and deservedly ascended him into popularity. “One To Watch” would be an understatement. The man knows what a proper dance song should song like. “Ooh, na na yeah!”

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9. ALMA – “Chasing Highs“: With the undeniably euphoric “Chasing Highs,” this big-voiced, green-haired unicorn proved to be one of the most exciting new starlet’s on the rise right now. It deserved to be much bigger than it was but something tells me she’s only just begun having her fun. Look out 2018!

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8. Tove Stryke – “Say My Name“: This Swedish songstress’ glorious return is a thoroughly free of flaws Swede-pop production, relishing in a cool groove of straight-forward vocals, infectious waves of sleek electronica, and a chorus that manages to never get old. In my perfect fantasy world, it was one of the biggest pop songs of the year.

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7. Billie Eilish – “Bellyache“: Young starlet on the rise Billie Eilish had me sold from the moment I heard her nonchalantly channeling a murderer on this irresistible, dancehall-tinged guitar gem. At just 16-years-old, Billie knows exactly the artist she wants to be. Soak it up or end up in the gutter.

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6. BANKS – “Underdog“: Only a true overlooked pop gem would actually end up predicting it’s very own fate. “Underdog” is a refreshing departure from BANKS‘ mostly brooding, alt-pop sound we’ve all come to know and love. It features a ton of bright synths and an irresistible bass line — and yet, despite it’s more pop-leaning sheen, this is undeniably the stuff of BANKS.

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5. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain“: Queen RiRi has given us gorgeous balladry aplenty, but “Love on the Brain” takes the cake as one of her most timeless offerings yet. PERIOD.

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4. Jessie Ware – “Selfish Love“: English Goddess Jessie Ware took a constant theme in relationships and turned it into a slow-moving four-minute chameleon coated in dreamy atmospherics, warm flares of ambient sound and winding, sort of island-tinged pulses. It’s an incredibly intricate number, worthy of playing on repeat for hours on end, and that is precisely what I did the moment it dropped. Absolutely one the year’s most underappreciated offerings. Forever my queen.

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3. Julia Michaels – “Issues“: After years of penning hits for others, Julia Michaels finally stepped out as an artist in her own right and delivered a relatable smash of her very own. She can write your faves hits and have her own, too.

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2. SZA – “The Weekend“: The definition of lyric gold is found here. Real and utterly empowering the whole way through.

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1. Dua Lipa – “New Rules“: A breakup anthem with its own set of rules to follow? “One, don’t pick up the phone/ You know he’s only calling ’cause he’s drunk and alone/ Two, don’t let him in/ You have to kick him out again/ Three, don’t be his friend/ You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning..“

How did we not think of this before? Yeah, Dua Lipa is the pop star we deserved in 2017.

from Jon ALi's Blog http://jonalisblog.com/2017/12/29/jon-ali-presents-the-top-60-singles-of-2017/

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