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foreverisntenough · 16 days

Text

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, self doubt, body image, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 12 - Mwah | ‘Ours’

You were thrilled when you found out Liverpool’s preseason was going to be in the US this summer. You practically screamed when Trent told you. You were so excited to have an excuse to go back to New York. You’d get to see your family, you’d get to tote Teddy around back where you grew up. It was just a perk this trip would happen to coincide with his work. It would be amazing to have your parents around Teddy for a bit as well.

Before preseason officially kicked off leaning into the end of July, early August, you spent the weekend out at your parents house out in Montauk, New York. You and Trent were really happy you’d get one last bit of time together before the season began. Being back at your parents place made you miss it a little. Home was England now. Home was wherever life took you with Trent and Teddy but a small piece of you still missed this place. The big open beach that had a different scent than the ones in the UK, the way the sun shone a little brighter, a little warmer on the horizon. Any case, you were glad you at least got this weekend to spend with your whole family and show Teddy the place you spent too many summers.

“Mmm C’mere baby.” Trent hummed pulling you into him in the bed you were sharing. It was funny staying in your childhood bedroom with him. Okay, it wasn’t really your actual bedroom it was your bedroom at your beach house but regardless he liked being able to get to know you a little more through it. Trent liked to explore what you had kept hidden in your desk drawers, finding little niche things that made you you, made this your space. It was nice but it was also practically being rubbed in your face you were at your parents home and not your own so you felt like you had to behave. Trent’s family was definitely more relaxed. Chill, if you will. They had rules of course, no messing about, but it was still a family of boys, whereas obviously you were a house of two girls growing up in Manhattan. Dianne sometimes would tease you saying she’s glad she got you as her daughter later in life. She wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Boys were easier. Her boy currently wanted to be easy for you.

“T” you sheepishly giggled. “We can’t. My parents are literally right downstairs.” You whispered as if you were 16 and you had snuck him in without them knowing.

“They’re watching a film. You’re in bed with me so why are you worried about them? Worry about me and taking these clothes off for me.” He cooed as he dragged the strap of your silk tank top off your shoulder. You felt a shiver run down your spine in the best way.

“T! Please.” You let out a harder laugh amused by his advances. You pressed your palm against his chest pushing him away from you slightly.

"Mmnnmm.” he hummed dismissing your rejection. He was obsessed with this moment. The dark room only lit by the moon out over the ocean seeping in through the window. Your soft skin against his, the feeling of drowning himself in your scent. You were going to have to really convince him this was a bad idea to get him to stop. “Don’t be so scared, baby. Give me one kiss and then decide.” He cooed, brushing some of your hair behind your ear. His eyes fell into the pleading puppy dog look you couldn’t say no to. He kissed you and you moaned into his mouth almost immediately loving the feeling of his lips on yours and the sensations running through you from the second they connected. You pushed your hips greedily into his.

“Okay, okay. You win.” You sighed into him. You dropped your hands over his shoulders and bent your elbows back to drape your hands to come grip his hair. You pulled him into you for a deeper kiss. You gasped a little as he pulled your top further down exposing more of you.

“You’re perfect, baby.” He flicked his eyes between yours, your lips, and your tits indecisively. He couldn’t decide where to fixate first. You let out a desperate moan when he finally landed on your tits brushing his thumbs over your nipples. “Shhhh. You need to be quiet. Yeah?” Trent hushed you when he heard the creek of someone walking up the stairs. You giggled, not interested in his request, too caught up in what he had started and proceeded to pull at the waistband of his boxers.

“Y/N… are you awake?” You heard a voice from behind your closed bedroom door. Trent pulled your top back over your chest to your displeasure. He got out of the bed abruptly and pried the door open. You were surprised he went so quickly but you watched as he leaned on to the door frame. His back muscles looked stupidly sexy. Winnie was behind the door. “Not Y/N” She laughed a little seeing Trent answer opposed to you and then a little more when she assessed both of your states. You were wide eyed and Trent was impatient with her wanting to get back to you.

“No, not Y/N.” Trent confirmed he was in fact not you. They conversed longer than you thought they would Trent, biting at Winnie’s proposal if you wanted to go to the beach tomorrow so they discussed plans at length before he returned.

“Let me take this beautiful baby girl. Should we make you a big breakfast?” Your mum was quick to pluck Teddy out of your arms. You had woken up early in the morning and carried her downstairs. You loved that she connected so well with her but it also confused you in a way. Watching her be so maternal, so nurturing and careful, none of the things she was with you. As your mum watched Teddy, you hopped upstairs and dragged Trent out of bed. It was obscenely early but you were running on borrowed time. His season began in a matter of days and you wanted to spend time with him. You put on a jumper of his and a tiny pair of shorts and insisted he went for a walk on the beach with you. Your house was on the coast next to a resort you remember not remembering so many nights spent there growing up, sneaking drinks with your friends. It was funny you and Trent had sort of the opposite trajectories. You were carefree and relaxed when you were young and now grew to be more rigid and organized. Trent was the reverse, now calm and easy going but grew up diligent and committed.

“I had my first kiss there.” You laughed strolling on the shoreline, recalling a boy you think was shorter than you force his tongue down your throat behind a cabana. You filled Trent in on that tidbit of your life pointing in the general direction of the scene of the crime.

“Don’t tell me that!” Trent scolded you looking at you like you were crazy. He could believe you just told him that. You’ve had this conversation once before and only once. He wanted to know everything but just once.

“Trust me I’ll remember what you tell me.” he confided in you that there wasn’t a shot in hell he’d forget the names of the people you were about to rattle off who had touched you, gotten to be with you.

“This is dumb! You have to tell me then as well.” You asked not wanting to expose only yourself. Telling a partner about previous relationships was always a tricky situation. You had to know. It wasn’t like you had met as virgins but you were adults. You had to be honest, you wanted to be honest with each other it just was scary.

“You really want to know?” He asked interested in your answer but slightly falling into a feeling of anxiety about having to tell you. Trent was… well he was a young footballer on a big stage to say women flocked to him was understatement. It was something you were definitely aware of and made you nervous but at the same time the thoughts of telling him about the unmentionables you’d done with stupid mistakes like Chase was not exciting.

“No, not at all. I guess I should though.” You looked him dead in the eyes and he regretted starting the conversation. He didn’t feel as strong as he usually did around you. He felt weak like you had the power all of a sudden.

“I was 15, relax!” You laughed pinching at his side. He gripped your wrist fast. He was so agile it caught you off guard.

“Don’t tell me that either! You have never kissed anyone but me.” He teased and pulled your body into his. His eyes narrowed looking at you seriously. You ran your palms over his chest draping them behind his neck scratching his scalp gently. You could feel him relax under your touch yet simultaneously go stiff trying not to get too turned on in public.

“Whatever you say” you pressed your lips to his. He hummed at the taste of your kiss. Trent secretly, or not so secretly because he’d told you before but, really liked knowing you had some sort of wild side, maybe daring. You’d commit to things. Him being one of those things. You spent 5 days straight with him right after you met. It was all very instinctual. You just grew up completely differently and yet you fit perfectly together and he loved that about you. He remembered on your first date being slightly bothered that he couldn't open wikipedia and read more about you. He wanted to know you intimately. He wanted you to read him a biography about your life, the sound of your accent hitting against his ears all night.

“Ran from the police once here too.” You giggled and his face contorted, shocked at your admission. There were still bits and bobs of information you didn’t know about each other, of course. You could never truly know everything but you had gotten close to that. Trent definitely didn’t know this piece of information though. You broke out of his gentle hold. “Didn’t catch me though.” You yelled, beginning to run away from him down the empty beach. He chased after you as you ran

“Come back here. Think you were really gonna be faster than me?” He caught you quickly grabbing onto your arm. You stumbled a little not able to catch your balance on the shifting sand and his hold dragging you backwards.

“I am faster than you!” You giggled out of breath falling into the sand pulling him down with you.

“You’re not but I love you despite your flaws” he teased, pinning your arms down to your side. Your heart faltered a little at his aggression. There were moments with Trent when he was unintentionally very sexy. He’d forget how strong he was, how weak you were in comparison.

“My flaws! What happened to ‘you’re perfect baby?” You asked breathing heavily beneath him, widening your eyes mocking his accented words. He hovered over you. He looked perfect as the morning sun rose up over the horizon reflecting onto the water and splashing onto his golden skin.

“You are perfect.” He kissed you. “You’re beautiful.” He kissed you again “You’re not very fast” he kissed you with a slight laugh and your lips curled into a smile as you shook your head at him. “And you’re all mine.” You let him rest his body weight on you, pressing you into the sand. You squirmed a little beneath him as he persistently smothered you with kisses all over your face

“I love you so much, T.” You cooed sincerely. Meaning each word that fell out of your mouth.

“I love you. You've changed my whole life.” He whispered, moving his lips only millimeters away from yours.

“You are my whole life, baby.” You took a deep breath feeling his big hands on your hips push up the bottom of your his jumper. He dragged it up over you until he could see the bottom of your lacey bra peeking out. He kissed up your stomach, slow, dedicated, but also almost harsh. What he left behind were the signs of him, shiny spots caused by his warm spit. It was weird as you felt a memory of your first night together come rushing back. Like you were transported onto the hotel bed of the room you were in at The Plaza. You remember the feeling of his foreign lips on you, the ones you knew so well now like it was yesterday.

“God, please” he moaned. This wasn’t even directed at you, he just wanted some higher power to let him have you. You didn’t smile at him. Tears fell over your waterline. Your heart broke at the rant. He looked panicked. He looked distraught over how he felt. You wiped at your face before he took over slowly catching any tears.

“I didn’t really anticipate making you cry in bed. Not this way at least” you slapped at him gently, a smile starting to form. “Please” he softly begged you. You nodded wholeheartedly.

You should’ve known you’d fall for him then and there. You cried on your first date. Normally, you would’ve been mortified if that had happened and yet with a new stranger you felt completely safe. You wouldn't even call it a first date. It was like 7 in a row; dinner, the bar, the cab ride, the bedroom, the club, then the bedroom again. You laughed thinking how insane it was that he really did mean what he said, that he knew what he wanted, how certain he had been. You laughed recalling it all in grave detail.

“What are you giggling about, huh?" He interrupted your reverie. You looked up at the cheeky smirk appearing on his face as he watched you try to compose yourself under him. You pushed him away playfully trying to get out of the emotions that were crashing over you right now. It was too early to be that sentimental.

“I think we should get married here. What do you think?” He asked laying down next to you in the sand. He rested his head on your chest and slid his hand down to hold yours.

“Yeah… I think I’d fancy that. When?.” You asked him with a smile, liking the idea a lot. It hadn't really registered or settled in yet that you actually were going to get married, you’d have a wedding, so the exact location or date of it definitely hadn’t been thought about too much.

“Whenever you want. I’ll be there waiting.” You pouted at him. How did this stuff come out of his mouth? It was like he had it all rehearsed, like you were in a simulation being played and you loved every second of it. You laid there for a little longer before he pulled you up. “I am marrying a felon. Who knew?” he laughed.

“No. I told you, they didn’t catch me, remember?” You giggled in response but you fell into a comfortable silence after.

“What for…?” Trent asked and stopped walking, needing to know more. Needing to read the passage of your Wikipedia that broke down a run in with the law.

“It was stupid. Someone had thrown a party, there was underage drinking and a lady called the cops. I didn’t want my parents to know I was out so I took off.” you shrugged. His brow furrowed confused. “It’s really not a big deal here, honest. It's common, I think?” You tried to rationalize with him. He was quiet for way too long racking his brain. It’s not like he didn’t have fun growing up or have a drink before he was 18 but the police felt… intense. “You’re making me feel bad now!” you quipped.

“Well, you ran from the police!” he laughed, letting go of your hand and draping his arm around you.

“Oh well, not all of us are beloved local lads the police would let go are we?” You teased him. He knew what you were referring to. Trent would be lying if who he was hadn’t gotten him out of trouble. He told you about a few times where he had been pulled over driving by the police but they let him go after he simply took a selfie with them. His jaw slacked offended you’d bring that up. You nuzzled your face into his arm starting to feel almost dizzy by the whole conversation. “Do you still love me?” you sheepishly whimpered.

“What?” he shook his head at you confused laughing. “Obviously. What are you on about? I just asked a question. Of course, I love you.” he quipped before he abruptly grabbed your face with one hand. He pushed your cheeks together, pursing your lips for you. He smashed a wet kiss against them. You pulled away with a shy smile. His stare blank. “Got it?” he asked seriously.

“Got it. Jeez!” you laughed, wiping your mouth of some of the wetness that remained. He just rolled his eyes as you walked back inside the house.

You got ready to go to the beach later on in the early afternoon actually in bathing suits this time with Teddy and Winnie. Your sister sat on a towel and complained to you about how stupid some boy was dming her that Lauren was trying to set her up with. You lazily lounged on Trent while Teddy sat on his chest. He haphazardly held her. She occasionally would just topple over onto him still working on her balance but eventually she was definitely doing it on purpose, loving squishing her face against Trent’s warm skin, hearing his laugh, his chest vibrate and heart beat as his big hands kept her secure on top of him.

“You can never DM anyone, alright?” Trent cooed at Teddy, resituating her up right as she giggled, before falling again wanting to continue her game with him.

“DM all you want, Ted!” Winnie rebutted Trent’s rules. She gave him a smug smile he was annoyed at.

“Go on Ted!” You just spurred her on. Teddy squealed, hearing her name getting exciting. Her little hands grabbing eagerly at Trent’s face for a kiss. She had recently learned how to purse her lips, coming to understand that it would result in a kiss for her. She loved it. She loved the attention, she loved the sound, a giggle following every single one. Trent kissed her identical pout.

“Can mummy have one, please?” You asked her for a kiss, envious of the one she gave him. You squeezed her arm gently to grab her attention. You pushed your lips out towards her. “Mwah!” You made the sound she couldn’t get enough of. She laughed and wiggled trying to get to you. You dragged her off Trent’s chest into your own. She nuzzled her face into you comforted by every little thing. The way you smelt, the way your skin felt, your familiar heart beat. She calmed as you kissed her head. “My Teddy bear.” You squeezed her a little tighter to you. Trent pinched your arm to remind you of this moment that you definitely did know how to make her very happy.

“She’s happy right?” Speaking of a daughter's happiness, your mum asked your dad back at the house looking on, able to see your little family from afar as they sat by the pool.

“She’s never been better. He takes care of her.” Your dad reassured her watching you kiss Teddy laying on Trent.

“I’m surprised you took such a liking to him. If he wasn’t on the team you support would you’ve?” Your mum teasingly asked your dad. It was a joke but she was also a little curious as well for his answer.

“Don’t be silly, I genuinely think he’s a good kid. Good head on his shoulders, good family, good values.” You dad reaffirmed his stance that Trent was good for you. “Could be different though if he played in Manchester but...” Your mum ignored his dig at other teams, keeping her focus on you.

“They’re good with her.” Your mum admired you and Trent playing with Teddy. “I just want her to be happy. It felt like she never was when she was here.” She remembered life before you moved, before you met Trent.

“She was… she just needed to find her place. Her person. We all eventually find our way to them.” Your dad cooed, squeezing your mum’s hand from his lounge chair.

You came back to the house as the evening sun sank down. Winnie running with Teddy back to the house in a fit of giggles in her arms. You trailed slowly with Trent holding his hand inspecting his newly tanned golden skin. You shuffled up the steps and turned on a spout to wash the sand off your feet. Trent turned on the water inside of the outdoor shower next to it.

“C’mere” he dragged you in after him. “You look so good today.” He purred beneath your ear. His plump plush lips ghosting over the sensitive skin of your neck.

“Yeah? I thought I caught you staring” you turned away from him pushing your ass against him. His hands drifting around you slowly one gradually come to paw at your boobs. You shut your eyes in pleasure. You rolled your head back onto his shoulder.

"Nah, me staring at you. Never." His dark, brown eyes bore up into your closed ones and you breathed in heavily feeling his hands glide over your skin. His free hand ran down your side sliding under the tie of your bikini on your hip. It was subtle yet it had your heart racing. Watching his fingers run over your body as the water cascaded down with them felt pornographic. He moved his hand from your tits up to cupped your jaw. He tilted your head awkwardly and harshly to look at him. It made you gasp a little as he pushed his hips into you further. You could feel his hardening cock. You flashed your eyes at him and it only got harder. Your lust filled gaze sent sinful thoughts barrelling through his mind.

“Y/N L/N! That boy is not your husband yet. I better not be seeing two sets of feet in that shower.” Your mum yelled out clocking that you two had come back to the house, were nowhere to be seen, and the shower was on with two familiar pairs of feet in it. All thoughts were halted the moment you both heard her voice.

“Sorry” you sheepishly apologized strangely embarrassed by her call out. You kissed his lips, peeling your body off his. Your mum was ‘old school’ in an ironic way. Like she picked and chose when she wanted to implement those values.

“Nah, I have you for the rest of my life. Not worried.” He whispered before one final kiss.

“Mum, they have a baby…” Winnie laughed carrying a pitcher of margaritas out onto the deck with one hand, Teddy in the other before passing her off to your dad.

“They can have 10 babies, Win. We still don’t want to know it’s happening” your dad chimed in situating Teddy on his knee as she smiled oblivious to the nature of the conversation about her parents. You timidly got out of the shower pulling Trent behind you. He held your hands behind your back and rested his head in between your shoulder blades childishly hiding from your parents. “Trent, my boy, I love you but keep your hands to yourself.” Your dad quipped and you wanted to die. Trent held his hands up in innocence taking a step away from you. It wasn’t the first time Trent had encountered a protective dad but it was different with you. He had good banter with your dad but really respected him and listened to what he was asking because he respected you. “I want that signed license before I’m holding another one of these.” He voiced in a serious manner asking for the marriage certificate before you had a second baby. You couldn’t quite tell if it was laced with any humor as you watched him kiss Teddy referring to her as ‘one of these’ loving every second of her. You grabbed Trents lips and pulled him into a kiss. Your hands cupped his cheeks. His lips were warm and soft. A shock of electricity ran through you being so bold to kiss Trent in front of your family. Your parents groaned. Trent held his hands up again not touching you reinforcing this wasn’t his move.

“Oh Y/N, really?” your mum quipped. Winnie booed. You giggled and shrugged then went to pick up your baby girl.

“You introduced me to him. Your own fault. ‘Oh you’d like him.” You mocked the words your dad once told you whilst watching a Liverpool match pointing out Trent to you on the TV.

“And I appreciate it.” Trent said, running a towel over his tanned skin. He dried himself off before he wrapped the semi damp towel around you and Teddy. Winnie took a photo of your bundled family engulfed in his arms and terry cloth on her film camera.

“Win, I want that one. Send me it when you develop them.” Trent asked after hearing the shutter go off. The sun went down, drinks were poured, and the fairy lights illuminated your dinner table. “They taste different here, swear.” Trent explained to Winnie that he genuinely believed burgers taste different in New York. She wasn’t sold on his rationale so they rambled on back and forth debating the unimportance. You caught Trent smiling at you though mid sentence as he watched you scarf down your food relieved you were eating. He winked at you and you had to put your head down you felt so flustered.

“Any plans about the wedding yet?” You mum asked eagerly. It was driving her nuts you hadn’t begun making any concrete plans.

“Think this morning we decided we should maybe do it here” you cooed to no one in particular at the table but then looked at Trent to confirm the decision. You mum sat up a bit straighter and began to rant to you about contacting all these events planners and contacts she had in the area.

You and Winnie exchanged your typical look, the one exchanged your whole life. The ‘mum is fucking nuts.’ one, you knew well. You wrapped up dinner and you put Teddy down for sleep. You were sitting on the couch watching a film with Winnie. You were cuddled up into Trent when you got distracted watching the veins of his hands move as he rubbed over your skin. Your heart started beating faster as you tried to reclaim your focus but you couldn't. He was the only thing on your mind now. He caught your quick side eyed glance towards him before you attempted to follow the movie again. With the hand he was stroking you with he squeezed you. It took you by surprise because he did nothing else, didn’t even acknowledge you or look but it set something off. You wanted him to pay attention to you. Sometimes with him you’d get a feeling like you were just meeting again. Like you wanted to impress him, get him to like you all over again, make him want you.

“Do you really have to leave tomorrow?”. You whispered in his ear before you dropped your head into the nape of his neck, your lips gliding down his neck.

“Mmmhmm” he hummed as he rolled his head to the side to give you more space to run your soft lips over. He closed his eyes, lost in the moment, losing all hope at following the plot of the movie anymore.

“Are you sure?” You gently pushed his t-shirt up with your palm and slid your hand across his abs. The feeling of your lips on his neck and your nails dragging across his skin dangerously close to the band of his shorts had his heart rate speeding up.

“I’m not so sure right now.” He quietly told you. He took control of the situation quickly just the way you wanted him to. He turned his whole body towards you completely ignoring the movie and the fact that your sister was about a yard away. “I’m not sure I can leave this mug of yours.” His eyes narrowed and scanned over your features. He flashed a devastating smile watching you trying to suppress the smirk blossoming on your face.

“Can you guys not… I get it, you're engaged. I am single.” Winnie stood up annoyed. You giggled hiding in Trent’s neck, embarrassed almost forgetting she was in the room.

“Oh, Win! I’m sorry! Finish the film with us” you called out to her as she stormed off in a huff before stopping in her tracks.

“No, no, I’ll leave you to it! Also,” she flashed her glare from you to Trent. His eyes widened, surprised she was mad at him and he was being included in the sisterly spat. “You give Lauren fucking Jude Bellingham… and me, nothing. Jude Bellingham.” she threw her hands at him.

“I don’t think I exactly gave Jude to her, did I?” he quipped back and she feigned a face as if she was less than impressed. She started to laugh though unable to hide a silly smile on her face trying to commit to her theatrics. This was quintessential Winnie. She thought this was very funny. Trent knew her well but not the way you did, of course. Not the years of her creating these situations out of thin air. For Winnie, taking a bit or a tease too far was a thrill. She loved to overreact just to grab people's attention only to drop it with a giggle. It was a bizarre yet endearing power trip.

“Winnie!” You yelped her name before falling into giggles yourself at how ridiculous her claim was, very aware this was one of her ‘performances.’

“There’s 26 players on a team and you’re on two! Club and Country” she gestured to two different spaces in front of her with her hands spelling it out for Trent. “I’m only asking for one man.” She rolled her eyes at the stunned look on his face. She walked out of the room.

“I can’t tell if she was serious or not… Am I meant to set her up?” He said to you louder than he thought he did. Winnie’s voice echoing a ‘yes’ that made its way back to the living room where you were as she made her way down the halls away from you.

“You asked if I had to leave…you gonna miss me, baby?” Trent asked, a few minutes later, gently grabbing your jaw. The way his eyes looked into yours made you feel special. Made you feel love and then lust.

“Yeah, T. WIll miss you and this cock” you boldly stated. Your words drenched in neediness as you leaned forward to slide your hand over the bulge that had been tenting in his shorts.

“Mmm yeah? Show me then” He instructed you and your eyes lit up with greed. This was a terrible idea. Your dad would murder both of you, your mum would have a heart attack, Winnie might vomit but he looked so good and you were going to miss him… and his cock… for the 5 days you were about to be apart.

“Can you be quiet for me, baby?” you asked with feigned innocence in your eyes as you lowered yourself toward his length.

“I’ll be good.” He stroked over your cheek as he watched you lick the tip of his cock. He let out a moan, feeling your tongue graze over the slit leaking pre cum. Your eyes widened looking up at him annoyed because he literally just said he’d be quiet.

“Sorry, sorry. Start again. I’ll be good. I promise.” He tried to convince you. You ran your hands up his strong thighs as you licked his length from base to tip, not totally convinced by his promise but you didn’t care now that you had a taste. Desperate for more of him. Desperate to make him feel good. “Such a pretty girl, yeah?" He praised you in a whisper as you flashed your glossy eyes up to him. All you wanted was for him to tell you how good you were for him. He breathed deeply watching you trying not to make a sound. He didn’t do a great job but at least his words of encouragement were whispered. “That’s so good, baby, fuck. Keep going.” he quietly groaned. He tucked wisps of your hair behind your ear stopping your constant need to move your hair away from your sticky lips. He threw his head back against the couch cushion in pleasure at your movements. He ran his hand over his hair. The air had gone thick in the room. It was hard to breathe all of a sudden for both of you for different reasons. “Baby” he grunted at a normal volume warning you he was going to cum. He unraveled quickly to your delight. You clasped your hands around the backs of his knees, slacking your jaw just that much more for him to take all of him sucking in your cheeks as he released.

“Good?” you giggled after you swallowed, pulling yourself up using his thighs. He nodded out of breath. Eyes closed and head resting back onto the couch coming back to reality slowly. You climbed up on him and straddled over him. You slid off your shorts and to Trent’s surprise you weren’t even in panties. He just blew air out of his mouth amazed by your figure over him. Your tiny white baby tee clearly worn without a bra, nipples very out, and your pussy on full display for him to admire.

"You wet for me?" He asked and you nodded. You got wet just sucking him off and he knew that. He ran his fingers through your slick folds.

“Tell me what you want me to do, T” you whined, getting desperate for more. He was teasing you, giving you enough to lose your composure but not getting close to your entrance or clit.

“You’re gonna take my cock.” He demanded and you smirked and he began peppering kisses over your jawline. “and you’re gonna take my cum.” You aligned yourself with his already rehardened length. You sank down slowly not having his usual help preparing you for his size. You let out a whimper feeling the leaking tip of his cock burying himself inside your pussy. He began languid but purposeful thrusts up into you. He immediately felt you clench tigh around him as your jaw slacked and your brows pinched adjusting to his length. “So good f’me always.” he stoked your cheek with his thumb while his other hand held your helping you move on top of him.

“Please, T, I want to make you feel good. I want to be good for you.” Your words went straight to his cock. He smiled. Even in bed you were always well mannered. He loved when you begged for what you wanted. You liked T being in charge in the bedroom. You were politely submissive. You both were mindful you had to be quiet though so your words were hushed but they were potent. You both wanted to be good for the other. It was apparent with every deep upwards thrust of his and every merciless roll of your hips. It was all so needy and desperate.

“Oh fuck, baby. You make me feel so good. I want you to cum on my cock. I need to feel you.” He tried to whisper but his pleads were hard to keep in check with his shuddering breath as you were working on top of him. You both were climbing to your highs. “No one else will ever be able to fuck you ever again. No one else could ever fuck you the way I do.” He muttered into your neck trying to muffle his voice as he huffed.

“Nuh uh.” You moaned. You placed you mouth against him to quiet the volume of the sounds you wanted to make “Oh god, only you T. You forever. Only want you always.” Despite your dickmatized haze you genuinely meant that. You only wanted him to fuck you forever. Your thighs began to quiver.

“That’s right. Good girl. My girl.” He bit onto the most sensitive part of your neck he knew drove you crazy. “Absolutely no one else.” You picked up your pace even though your legs were aching, you wanted more of him. His breaths were hot against your skin, audible. You rode him for ages on the couch in pure euphoria. It must have been almost over any hour. You were surprised no one had come down stairs but were more relieved than anything else.

“I love you” you let out the most sinfully innocent moan in his ear. A sound he wanted to keep forever. His soul was completely in your grasp. The way you sounded and felt right now was his heaven. You pulled away and looked at him with twinkling eyes and he pushed up into hitting a spot so deep you had no other option to then fall into an earth shattering orgasm. Your face fell onto his shoulder biting him to not make a noise. He kissed your cheek repeatedly as he continuously thrusted into you as you attempted to move. White hot pleasure spread rapidly through your core. Seeing you cum always tipped Trent over the edge.

“I love you, baby. Gonna fucking cum inside my pussy, yeah? This pussy’s just f’me.” He confirmed his possessiveness over you and you loved it nodding eagerly. His drew his face into your neck and let out a strained moan as he thrusted up a few more times before he filled you up. Your eyes rolled back and closed. His cum leaking out of you more as you bounced on him a few more times helping him ride out his high, fucking his cum deep inside of you untill he was empty. You fell onto his chest heavily breathing tucking into his neck hugging him desperately.

“Let’s go to bed, hmm?” He asked quietly after you both had begun to calm. You pulled your head off him and looked at him so exhausted but with a glow he loved. You were the pretty girl who took everything he gave her just now but also the pretty girl he was unequivocally in love with

“I can’t feel my legs” you whined with a pout. You felt like you’d be given a lethal dose of euphoric pleasure.

“Oh, my poor baby.” he teasingly cooed, pressing his lips to yours gently. He picked you up sweetly and he wrapped your legs around his waist for you carefully as he carried you back to your bedroom.

Trent had to be at Liverpool’s team hotel tomorrow so he was out the door early. They had a game at MetLife stadium which is in New Jersey but it's for New York sports for context. It was kind of cool. Weird to be in an NFL stadium for football. It just gave off a different vibe. It didn’t feel right but it was more like exhibition games, upcoming season preparation.

“For youuu.” You cooed handing your dad the new LFC kit for the season as you got into his car. You were going to the game with your dad and Teddy. You had driven to the stadium with him from your beach house. Lauren and Winnie were also coming but they weren’t as fussed about the actual match. A lot of people you knew in Manhattan or just in the general TriState area were going to this match because it was an opportunity to see Premier League teams play and party. What was a little funny about it being in America though was that there were tailgates for the game, like it was a US college football game. Lauren and Winnie were within that group. People from college and friends you had from growing up all going together to get drunk. The football match was a second priority.

“You’ve got to come to more matches with me, dad.” You told him as you got to your seats just as the warm-ups for the game were beginning. You watched intently and more closely than most people do enjoying the sleeveless warm up gear Liverpool had on due to the summer heat. Trent looked particularly good, freshly tanned and toned.

“Gotta invite me.” Your dad cooed. “Isn’t that right Teddy girl? Don’t you want mummy to invite Pop Pop over to come see you?” He picked her up. She looked adorable in your opinion. She had on this season’s newest jersey freshly pressed with ‘daddy’ on the back. Bittersweetly for you, you had to get a bigger size now that she was getting older and growing. She had on white ruffled shorts and white adidas samba trainers that had red stripes. You sat through the match constantly having to point daddy out to Teddy. She was way more in tune with what was going on now. She could stand on her own for a few seconds before you’d have to help her. She could point and clap a little bit so games were all that much cuter now. As the end of the 90 minutes approached you got a notification your flight had been moved and you began to panic. You hated when plans shifted. Minor inconveniences really rattled you. The final whistle blew you were able to meet Trent but you were stressed and worried about finding a fix to your flight dilemma.

“My baby bear!!!! Did you have a fun time? Did you clap for dada with mama?” Trent asked, scooping Teddy out of your arms. You just smiled at them scrolling through your phone incessantly. “Hey… you alright, baby?” He looked at you and grabbed your chin with his free hand and lifted it up to make you look at him. He knew the face you gave him well. You were stressed. He knew your brain ran a million miles and hour. Very very different to his but he liked to help you, to help you settle it. “Baby.. take a deep breath for me. What’s going on?”

“Our flight got canceled or moved or I don't know and I have bad service and I need to make sure we get back because Teddy has her check up scheduled at the pediatrician and I already moved it once, and…” you babbled insistently.

“Baby….” Trent cut you off in a soothing voice. It felt like you were the only people in the room for a moment. His calming persona just wafted over you. You dropped your shoulders and took a deep breath in and exhaled it out your nose. Teddy tried to imitate the noises and breaths you took quite funnily. So both you and Trent laughed. “Good girl” Trent cooed to Teddy first. “Thank you.” He kissed your forehead and his hands that were resting on your hips crept up your torso raising the hem of your shirt slightly. “I will fix the flight for you. I’ll handle it, okay? You’ll make the appointment. It’s gonna be fine. Promise.” He kissed your lips this time. You you closed your eyes as your mind settled until you heard an ‘mawf” type noise from the cute little girl in Trent’s arm who was pursing her lips towards him waiting for her kiss from daddy.

You sat in a lounge type area after the game because Trent had a bit of free time and was allowed to come and hang out for a bit. So with him, your dad, Teddy, and a drunk Lauren and Winnie you all caught up.

“How’s Marce?” Lauren leaned forward inquiring about Trent’s brother. Winnie eyes widening with a smile knowing all the dirty details. You were close in age so you did a lot together but after you moved Winnie and Lauren met up more often just the two of them. You were happy they got closer but every Instagram story on a night out you couldn’t be at always made you a tinge jealous. If you and Lauren were trouble, her and Winnie were like hell on wheels. They were playing with fire anywhere they went.

“No, we’re not doing this again.” Trent responded, moving his gaze off of you and Teddy momentarily to look at her. Trent loved Lauren and just was joking but definitely didn’t want things to go any further than they had in the Marcel, Jude, Lauren triangle from Greece.

“Laurennnn” You palmed your forehead. “Laur is silly, huh?” you cooed in a baby voice to Teddy. It was a habit. It just happened, it was your life 24/7. You were a mum. Trent hummed concurring with you wiping his thumb over Teddy’s lips.

“No. Laur is not silly, Teddy girl.” She addressed Teddy but threw a glare at you then flicked her eyes back at Trent. “I asked how your brother is… is that suddenly a big deal?” She quipped back knowing very well her sentiment in asking was laced with a million different innuendos.

“It is when you kiss and tell, Lauren.” Your dad chimed in from his seat further down the table you were sitting at. You laughed hiding in Trent’s neck not knowing he had been listening to the whole conversation. Laurent rolled her eyes at your dad playfully.

“Lauren, you can’t just get with all of the men we have on deck.” Winnie looked at her with glossed eyes, still fairly drunk. “I mean, it’s not like T is helping me with who he has on any roster but…” she quipped with a laugh.

“Men on deck? Roster? Win… They are people and my friends. I'd like to keep my relationships with them and with you two if you don’t mind. Lauren already made her bed.” He rambled back at her with a smile teasing them both but also attempting to justify why he hadn’t set her up.

“They were good in bed though” Lauren chimed in. Trent made a face like he was gonna be sick.

“Ignoring that.” he looked at Lauren then back to Winnie. “Besides, I’m not just going to parade around every dressing room I’m in ‘Lads, anyone want my fiance's sister?’ Am I?”

“Well, you should. What picture do you show when people ask what I look like?” Winnie leaned forward asking both you and Trent.

“Teddy, please ignore everything that is coming out of the left side of the table’s mouth please.” Your dad piped up again. The chaotic conversation continued and definitely didn't get any better when Dom came over to grab Trent to leave. Winnie practically drooling. You said goodbye to Trent with a crying Teddy and it broke your heart. It was always the worst. She’d be okay but she also didn’t understand why daddy had to leave. Trent was knee deep in the few more days of preseason but did fix your flight issues the night after that match. You had to get back to your house, your dogs, your life, and your appointment for Teddy. You flew home with her and way too many bags you assured Trent you could handle but regretted it now. Thankfully you had some help from airport staff but it was still exhausting. You needed to sleep on the flight but had to wait till Teddy was out and even then you could only lightly sleep in case she needed something. You held her against your chest and she was good. You felt like she was getting alot more attached to you. Like something clicked, she felt like you were her home and being attached to you was the safest and comfiest place she could be. Even though she weighed a little more now and it was hard having someone glued to you all the time, it was a nice rewarding feeling.

You stood waiting for your Uber outside of arrivals at the Manchester airport with Teddy and the too many bags you promised you could carry. One of your suitcases tipped over as you attempted to wrangle them all.

“Uh Oh!” you cooed to Teddy making a surprised ‘o’ shape with your mouth and she lit up. She attempted to imitate you. It wasn’t great but it was cute nevertheless. “Yeah, Uh Oh! Teddy” You said once more but in your head you were actually saying ‘shit, shit, shit.’ You leaned over with teddy in your arms and saw a masculine hand grabbing the handle of the luggage before you could. He picked it up and you stood up straight again and looked at him.

“Oh wow… Thank you” You said inspecting a oddly familiar looking face. He was an older man but well kempt, dressed really nicely too.

“Not a problem. Visiting for long?” He asked politely clocking your American accent and what felt like 100 pieces of luggage around you.

“I guess you could say that, I visited a couple years ago… never left though” you candidly explained with a smile. You readjusted your hold of Teddy. You were focused on her but you could feel his eyes examining you.

“Have we met before?” He cooed, taking a closer look at Teddy and then you. Recognizing both faces in different ways almost perplexing him more.

“Hmmm” You thought for a moment. “You know what? Yeah, I think we have. I met you at the end of Liverpool’s last season a few months ago. My fiance introduced us. I believe you know him.” You responded recognizing that you had met this man at the party the club had thrown directly after the final match.

“I knew that face looked familiar. An Alexander-Arnold a mile away.” He cooed. He was talking about Teddy, of course. You hummed politely. “I’d love to talk to you sometime…” He continued talking. You paused a little confused what he was asking so you waited for him to say more. “ I am a lifelong fan of the club but I really work for Condé Nast and I’ve been wanting to do something to better understand the inside. What makes them tick?” He explained but it didn’t really give you any clearer idea of what he meant.

“Makes them tick?” you asked him, still trying to wrap your head around what was happening, while watching your baby, whilst looking for your Uber. You were slightly overstimulated but you were listening best you could.

“Your fiance. How do you make it work? It’s a weird dynamic I imagine. You make their world go round but you have your own life, your own interests. You're not out on pitch on match day. They come home to you, a valuable human, so who are you? I want to know about you." It was strange to hear someone speak about a relationship he didn't know anything about so honestly and almost insightfully like he already knew.

“You said Condé?” You asked just trying to organize this whole thing. You had worked with some of their publications before you moved and dabbled a little here and there after you did but not much anymore. You knew enough about the company though.

“Mostly GQ and Vanity Fair. In fact, that's where I met Trent first. I heard he was coming in for a shoot when a kind editor tipped me off that a footballer from my beloved club was coming in.” He spoke like such an old man, he had grandfather vibes in the best way. It felt like you were talking to stylish Santa in a hilariously endearing way.

“Oh, amazing. Well, I don’t know. I’ve never done any sort of official interview or thing in the public” you babbled starting to feel awkward. This was really uncharted territory. He gave you his card. You inspected it closely. God, this could all be some sort of ruse but it seemed legit as you read it time and time over again. ‘Bentley Brown’

“If you’d ever want to, I’d love to meet you again sometime for a tea or a pint and tell you more about what I think we could do.” You just nodded. “Lovely to meet you both. Best of luck with the season.” You stared at the business card for days after on your dresser in your bedroom. You’d never thought about people wanting to interview you. You’d had a career before and you had an instagram following now but that wasn’t anything official or noteworthy worth being published in print.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 13 xx

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold imagines #taa x reader #taa66 #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n

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towriteloveontheirarms · 8 months

Text

Peakaboo! I see you... (modern!Stalker!Aegon II Targaryen x reader)

synopsis: You have always felt safe in your own home, shutting out the scary, real world. Unknowing, that someone stared at you through the large windows almost every day and night. But a window is just glass, and glass… oh it breaks so, so easily…

warnings: Dark fic, non-con, slight somnophilia, stalking, obsession, mentions of alcohol and drinking, afab reader, angst, fluff, smut, oral sex (f receiving), p in v sex

word count: 8k

taglist: @urmomsgirlfriend1, @agqrtz

(If you want to be tagged in the `kissing booth AU´, for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

a/n: So, in honor of spooky season I started rewatching `You´ and this is what happened. Let me know if I missed any tw´s or anything. I hope y´all enjoy!! <3

When you had moved to King´s landing you found yourself alone and truly scared for the first time in your life. Fleabottom wasn´t the safest place to begin with, but it was the only thing you could afford while attending Uni, leaving you very little safe spaces. One of them being your friend Sarah Snow´s place and the other, your own apartment. Where you could shut out the scary real world with the turn of a key and multiple locks. Cuddling into your bed with your phone, the tv providing the only source of light in the apartment. It´s still early in the evening, but you had always valued a quiet night in over going out to some shitty bar or club or party, like your friends did. You silently shake your head at the thought of Sarah, Aly and Cassandra getting hammered at some party right now. And as if they heard your thoughts your phone starts to ring with an incoming videocall.

“Hey girl!” Aly exclaimed the second you accept the call. Making you hold the phone a little further away at the sheer volume of her voice. You can see your other two friends in the background, getting ready for going out.

“Hey, Aly. What are you up to?” You ask in a much quieter tone.

“We´re going out tonight.” By the way her words slur ever so slightly it is clear that the three of them had been pregaming.

“Okay, but… Why are you calling me? You know I am not in on the whole party thing.” A feeling in your gut told you, that a plan was afoot. A plan you wouldn´t like as much as sitting at home and watching movies.

“You´re coming with us. That´s why.” Cassandra´s voice sounds from the background.

“Oh no. No. No. No.” You insist.

“No, no talking back this time. Your gonna like it. I promise. There is this really niche bar, that has an open mic thing tonight for anyone that wants to share their work. It will be great.” Cassandra tries to convince you in a sweet voice.

“Ugh. Cas, Aly…”

“Come on. You always whine about being insecure about your writing. This could be great for you.” Sometimes you really hated your friends persistence. Especially when her points weren´t even half bad.

“Alright, fine. Send me the address and give me an hour to get ready.” You hear them cheering as you rub your eyes with the hand that isn´t holding up the phone. “But I won´t get behind that microphone. No matter what you say.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just get yourself presentable and come down. We´ll meet you there.” Just as suddenly as they had called you, they hang up again.

You throw your phone to the side and sigh deeply. Running your hands over your face, followed by bringing them down onto your upper thighs in an attempt to motivate yourself. Of course it doesn´t work and so, with another sigh you turn the tv off and hop into the shower. The warm water feels nice on your skin and when the time to step out, the typical feeling of not wanting to leave overcomes you. But you have to get ready if you don’t want to get shit from Sarah or Cas, so you force yourself to put on some light makeup and grab the next best clothes from your closet, that make you look presentable. Looking at the location of the bar you realize that it is only a few subway stops from your place and so you grab your phone, keys and wallet and head out to the station closest to your place. Checking twice if the pepper spray is still in your purse.

You walk down the stairs just in time for the subway to arrive.

When you arrive at the bar Sarah, Cassandra and Aly are already waiting outside. Greeting you with a mutually hollered “Babes!!”

“Heyyy!” You mirror their tone. Putting on a wide smile to not let them see how tired you really were.

Together the four of you enter the bar and the first thing you notice over the low chatter is how stuffed it is already. You barely find a table that fits all of you and immediately order a round of shots. A good choice as it turns out, because you barely have time to put down your coat, when you hear your name announced over the mic. A frown flits over your face, but you don´t have the heart or maybe the energy for a discussion now, so you pound back another shot and get up on the small makeshift stage. You sit down on the uncomfortable bar stool and introduce yourself. Beginning to read the latest excerpt from the book you were writing that you still have on your phone. The audience honestly doesn´t give much of a reaction, aside from your friend´s aggressive cheers. And the spotlight blinds you a bit, letting your anxiety practically spike. You can hear your voice shake as you read. Your hands and legs still tremble when you finally get back to the table.

“Y´all are such assholes. I told you I didn´t wanna read…” You protested as you take a drink from them.

“Aw, you were great either way, babes. Now come on. Let´s enjoy the evening.” Sarah tries to keep peace, laying a soothing hand on your arm. You know she means well. All of them do, but you still feel kind of hurt, that they had gone behind your back like that.

Over all the commotion and the people that read after you, you completely ignore the blonde stranger who, ever since you had entered the bar, couldn´t seem to turn his eyes away from you. Blissfully unaware of the dark thoughts behind them. And it stays that way until you leave. Tipsy, staggering up to the uber under his hidden watchful eyes. You close the door behind you and push the feeling of being watched aside as a side effect of being a woman alone in the outside world. He follows you in his own car. Thoughts of needing to have you and being the one for you swirling in his mind and possessing his every thought. Your mind however is occupied with the need for sleep and so he goes easily unnoticed. Looking through the widow of your ground level apartment as you undress and go to bed in only your underwear. He can even count himself lucky enough to go unnoticed by you over the next few days as you follow your usual routine. Going to the gym, the library, lessons, grocery shopping. Whatever you do, his eyes are on you. Until he is sure he knows your schedule by heart. Moving him along to step two of his plan.

You meet up with your friends at a bar again. A different one this time and on your own accord. It was the last day before spring break and them all leaving to visit home. All of them except for you. You don´t mind not going home so much as being alone for a whole week. So, you make sure to enjoy the evening with them and once again ignore the feeling of being watched that had sat in the back of your brain for the past week or so. And when you go to get another round of drinks, that´s when he strikes.

You make your way over to the bar. Not really looking where you are going, when you run into someone. Their drink spilling all over the front of your shirt. You jump back as the wet fabric clings to your skin.

“Woah, I´m so sorry. Are you okay?” The stranger gives you a bright smile, flashing his perfect teeth. A smile that reaches his lilac eyes. Making them sparkle and crinkling their corners. He holds out some napkins for the stain that steadily grows more uncomfortable.

“Thank you. Yes, no. Yeah, I´m alright. Uh, I´m sorry too. I totally didn´t watch where I was going.” You tap at the stain in order to hopefully take some of it off. Smiling back at him. You can´t help but to. “Let me buy you a new drink. To make up for all of that.”

“No, no. I should buy you one. I totally ruined your shirt. I insist.” He is so effortlessly sympathetic that you couldn´t even protest against his words if you wanted to.

“Okay.” Youn nod and follow him to the bar, where you sit down together.

“I´m Aegon, by the way.” He extends his hand for you to shake, which you do while offering up your name.

“It´s nice to meet you, Aegon.” The two of you order drinks and fall into conversation easily. Talking about anything and everything until you feel your phone vibrate inside of your pocket. Pulling it out you see Cassandra´s name on the screen. Reminding you of who you actually came here with and why.

Another glance at the clock tells you, that it is well past midnight.

“Shit, I didn´t realize it was that late already.” You turn to him to say goodbye. Ready to never see this handsome not so strange stranger ever again, when he makes you another offer.

“Want me to drive you home? It´s probably not safe out there at this time of night.”

“That would actually be so great, but I´d hate to inconvenience you. I probably live in the whole other direction from where you need to go.” You rub your neck. Taking a step back, ready to leave to say goodbye to your friends.

“Come on, it would be my pleasure to do that for you. I would hate for something to happen to you on your way home. Just say yes.” Aegon´s gaze is so intense and there is only one thought behind them, that the alcohol has made you ignorant of to his luck. If you leave alone now, he wasted his chance.

You sigh. “Okay, alright. Thank you so much. I just need to say bye to my friends and then we can go.”

He offers you his jacket to hide the stained shirt and then follows your lead back to the table.

“Hey, girls. I´m super sorry I just dipped, but I met Aegon and he´s gonna drive me home now. I´ll explain tomorrow. Okay?”

“Yeah, alright. Just be safe and don´t do anything we wouldn´t do.” They wink at you and turn back to their conversation as you and Aegon make your way outside to his car.

Ever so gentlemanly he opens the door to the passenger side of the golden Mercedes s-class for you, making you curtsy jokingly and giggle, then walks around to the driver side, to get in himself.

The two of you find your way back into the conversation and so you don´t even realize that you never actually told him were you lived. Nevertheless he pulls up in front of your apartment complex in no time.

“I had a really nice evening with you tonight.” He says with another wide grin and soft chuckle.

“Me too. And I´m sorry again for that drink. One would think that at my age I would´ve learned how to watch where I´m going.” You run a hand through your hair. Still slightly embarrassed about your carelessness.

“No, again, it is fine. I should have watched my steps as well, but if you really want to apologize you could give me your number? And we could meet up again some time. I´m guessing you´re on spring break too now.” It´s almost frustrating how good he looks with his head tilted and those beautiful lilac puppy dog eyes. If there was any doubt about wanting to see him again, they are all gone now. You need to see him again. So, you pull out your phone and give him your number.

“Don´t let me wait too long before I hear from you.” You give him one last smile before exiting the car. He sits in the car until you close the building door behind you and then parks his car around the corner to go back and observe you for a bit longer without being overly obvious.

Through the large windows Aegon watches you like every night of the past week. Stepping out of your clothes, doing your nightly skincare routine, before slipping on the smallest pair of pajamas he had ever seen and slip underneath the covers to watch some more tv. Falling asleep in front of it. All with an almost dorky smile. He thinks you are the cutest thing he has ever seen. The way you are so excited about your little meeting is something he has never seen in his life and he is instantly hooked. Fantasies about you being all excited and running up to him when he enters the apartment after a long day out enter his mind. Thoughts about sharing the sweetest kisses. When he opens his eyes he sees something that isn´t as innocent as he first perceived you.

Your hands caress your breasts and wander bellow the blanket, your back arching as they enter your core.

Aegon lets out a breathless curse. His own hand wandering inside his pants to tug on his length. His thoughts turn instantly. From innocent kisses to you arching your back up until your breasts touch his chest. Writhing and squirming underneath him from the pleasure he is giving you. Your tight walls fluttering around his cock as you come from the circles his thumb rubs into your clit. He has to clamp his hand over his mouth so you don´t hear him moan outside of your window. Once he´s finished, he leaves. Not wanting to push his luck, but definitely looking forward to the next time he´d see you.

The next morning you text the girls group chat. Apologizing for your behavior the previous night, by telling them every detail about the conversation with Aegon. How nice he was to you and how you thought that maybe, after a couple more dates, you could say he is the one. And as if he smelled you were talking about him in that moment you get a message from Aegon. Asking you out for coffee. You try to hide the smile that forces its way onto your mouth by biting your lower lip, even though there is no one there to hide it from. You answer him quickly and this time take a little extra time getting ready. Facetiming Aly, who is the only one that isn´t on a plane yet, to consult her on what best to wear. Even if she teases you relentlessly about being so nervous about a simple coffee date.

The truth is you haven´t been out on an actual date in years. Not after your last boyfriend had broken up with you for reasons only known to that absolute piece of shit. You had wasted three years pf your life on him and he couldn´t even give you a reason as to why he didn´t want to be with you anymore all of a sudden.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves and hopefully stop the bouncing on your leg. Entering the small café he had asked you out to where you find him already sat at a table. A half smirk spreads his face. And by the seven you have to calm yourself down not to do anything embarrassing as a result of the glee you feel upon seeing him.

“Hey, I didn´t make you wait too long did I?” You ask bashfully.

“No worries. I basically just sat down.” He assures you. Watching with careful eyes as you take of your coat to reveal the dress you had chosen with Aly´s help and are now second guessing if the choice hadn´t been a bit too revealing.

“Phew, I´m glad to hear that. I hate making people wait for me.” You wipe away an imaginary drop of sweat and chuckle.

“Nah, you´re good.” He goes to say something else, but in that moment a waitress interrupts him to take your order. Which of course Aegon makes a mental note of. Just like anything he had learned about you so far. The waitress, an older woman, seems to recognize the nature of your meeting and how nervous you are and gives you an encouraging smile. You smile back at her and make sure to remember to tip her later.

“Alright so, normally I´d ask how you have been, but since we last saw each other last night I guess did you come home well yesterday?” You quipped.

“Yeah, I did. How about you?” The two of you share a laugh. Without the alcohol in your system he seems even more effortlessly charming. Coffee gets followed by dinner, which he invites you to. Talking about family, life, dreams and aspirations. You tell him about your parents’ divorce, the relationship you have with all of them, how studying and writing is going. How your dream is to be published one day. You open up to him more than you ever have to anyone in that short amount of time and he listens. He listens so well. Telling you about his studies and his father’s company, that he will inherit one day, yet he never makes you feel small compared to him, like others would probably make you feel. It would be easy to, but he just doesn´t. And your feelings for him grow ever stronger. He even persists on paying for you. Saying that you could pay the next dinner, but the two of you are aware that you could never earn enough money to pay a meal this expensive.

At the end of the day he drops you off at home once more, but when you hug him goodbye whispering “Thank you so much. I had such a great time today.” Into his ear he goes in for a kiss.

It’s a possessive claiming of your mouth kind of kiss. All clashing teeth and heavy bursts of breath. Wandering hands, pulling on clothes in a needy attempt to get the close proximity you both want so deeply. He pulls the air from your lungs only to breath it back into them a second later. It´s hard to do, but in the end you manage to pull away.

“It´s late. We should continue this another time.” You whisper with your forehead resting against his shoulder. Everything inside of you screams to keep going, but your brain told you to take it slow. To savor it.

“Okay. I can´t wait.” He lays a peck on the shell of your ear. Letting you go reluctantly. “Text me when you get home.”

You chuckle and step out of the car. Pulling out your phone the second you close the door behind you to text him a quick `I´m home. Had such a great time with you. Can´t wait to do this again <3´.

He watches the glow of the screen vanish behind the large window. Replying with a `Same. Sweet dreams<3´, but this time he doesn´t stay around to watch you. Instead he goes home to sink into one of the dreams he had ever since he met you. One where he watches you sleep in the morning, the rising sun and the way you lay sprawled out beside him making you look like an utter goddess. And then you wake up to give him a smile that makes him feel like he has a heart attack. It feels so real that when he wakes up to another text from you, he has to pull himself together to not mess up his carefully hatched out plan. His train of thought gets interrupted by his phone ringing.

“Good morning…” Your raspy morning voice comes out of the speaker. You sound absolutely gorgeous to him. Making his eyes roll back into his head a little.

“Good morning, doll. What´s up?” The smirk on his face is audible in his voice.

“Nothing much. I just wanted to hear your voice.” You murmur, rubbing your eyes. “Oh gods, that sounded so cheesy. I´m sorry.”

“Hey, you´re good. I actually think that´s really cute.” He muses.

“Oh? Well, I guess I don´t have to feel like it is too soon when I tell you I had the weirdest dream tonight.” You chuckle and clear your throat from the sleepiness.

“Really? Do tell.”

“I don´t know. I can only remember that we were together, in my apartment and I guess you were watching me sleep and it felt so real… I probably sound so weird right now.” You scoff at yourself. Wondering why you even told him that.

He on the other hand chuckles at your confession. Cursing himself out in his mind, to will himself to stay strong.

“I had the same dream. I hope you don´t think I´m like a stalker or obsessed or something now.” His tone is lighthearted, but the gods now he needs you to stay unconscious of that side of him. No, he wasn´t any of those things. He was looking out for you. You meant a lot to him and that meant he wanted to protect you. “So, you know. You at least aren´t weirder than I am.”

Sadly you have a shit ton to study, before spring break ends and so you aren’t able to meet again in the coming days. Of course that doesn´t mean that he can´t see you though. The feeling of being watched follows you around like a burning shadow throughout that time. Yet you push it away. Telling yourself that it was probably just exam stress or social anxiety or something. Which Aegon, knowing you as well as he does, is grateful for. Usually he would hate to see you anxious or stressed, wanting to take all that burdens you off you, but when it came to him getting caught… Well, not that he was doing anything wrong, but experience has taught him, that people tended to see things differently from him.

So he stays hidden. Texting and calling you every day and watching you sink your fingers or a toy into your sweet cunt each night. Every time he is overcome by thoughts of how you would make so much sweeter sounds if it was his length that your walls where fluttering around as wave after wave of pleasure rolls over you. Each time he reminds himself anew that things are going steady with you and it would only be a short while until those thoughts became a reality.

On one of those evenings you surprise him with another call. Curses fall from his lips under his breath as he scrambles around the corner, praying that you haven´t heard his phone.

“Hey…” He says after pressing the green button on the screen.

“Hey, is this a bad time? You sound kinda out of breath.” Your voice chirps on the line.

“No, you could never call at a bad time.” Except for now kinda. “What´s up? Didn´t you say you wanted to write all day?”

“Yeah, I did. When my friends come back tomorrow there will be little chance to do so uninterrupted, but um… I couldn´t focus. Like at all.” You murmur.

“Oh, can I do anything to help?” he purrs.

“You could get some Starbucks and come over?” You ask in the most tempting voice you could offer. Not that he needed much persuasion to tend to any of your wishes as soon as you asked.

“Sure. I´m on my way.”

“You´re the best. Thanks.” You chirp and then the only thing that can be heard on this side of the line is the tone of the disconnected call from the device in his hand. Sprinting to his car, he almost drops his keys in anticipation at the prospect of spending time with you. Basically racing to your favorite coffee shop to get coffee, and some pastries he knew would be more than happy about right now. He knew, knowing everything about you would come in handy one day.

At the same time you put your laptop to the side. Trying to find something to pass the time until he would arrive. Which was harder to do than you would have thought and so with nothing to do, you decide to put some effort in your little meeting. Sitting down in front of the small closet to look for a cute dress to put in. Getting ready just in time for a knock on the door.

“Come in, it´s open.” You yell as you go to sit back down on the couch.

“You know, you probably shouldn´t leave your door unlocked in this neighborhood. Whoa…” He stops in the doorway when he sees you.

“Wh-What?” You tilt your head and look at him with confusion in your wide eyes. You look so innocent right now.

“Do you always write like that?” Aegon puts down the snacks and vaguely motions to your outfit of choice. “Cause… If so, I want to always be around for it.”

You can´t hide the snorting laughter that forces it´s way out of your lungs. “That´s really sweet, but no. I usually don´t look like this at all when I write. In fact I usually look so much worse you would want to stay as far away from me as possible.”

“I seriously doubt I anything in this world could ever make me want to stay away from you.” Aegon lays his gentle hands on your shoulders and a feeling of warmth spreads in your guts.

You look up at him through your lashes and before you know it your eyes flutter close. Then, a moment later, your lips meet his in the most gentle kiss ever. And you don´t know when things escalate. If it is when your hands come up to cup his cheeks. If it is when you stand on your tip toes to make it easier to deepen the kiss ever so slightly or when his tongue presses against your lower lip to silently ask for entrance. The result is the same. The two of you forgot about why he came over in the first place and abandon everything to make yourselves more comfortable in the bedroom. Rolling around the mattress as you make out heavily. His hands are everywhere on your body at the same time, just as yours are on his. Each touch feels like the right thing to do. The only thing that feels even more right is the way he sinks himself into your tight, warm walls. Like he had wanted from the moment he first saw you.

He´s so careful not to hurt you and as you lay in his arms afterwards, cuddled close, his finger drawing small patterns on your shoulder, you can´t hold back the smile. This is the fastest you have ever gone this far with a person. Mostly out of fear, that they would only want to use you for it. Yet even after only one official date with him, you know there is no reason to be afraid. It´s almost funny how shortly you have known each other and yet you rely on him for everything. He knows you so well already, has an incredible gift of listening and observing, like no one else you had met before. Ever. Before you notice it, a giggle falls from your lips, just as he kisses your temple.

“What´s so funny, doll?” Fuck, even the nickname you usually hated sounded so good from his lips.

“Nothing, just… I just thought about how shortly we´ve known each other and yet we know so much about each other already. I never had that.” You say in an amused tone.

“I´m gonna go ahead and take that as a good thing.” He huffs a chuckle.

“Oh yes, definitely. I honestly love how open we can be with each other.” Oh if only you knew.

“Me too.” He mumbles into the crown of your head. Placing another peck there.

As it turns out it isn´t only the first time you sleep with him, but also the first time you spend the night together. Your activities had robbed all of your energy and with a little more quiet chatter, the two of you slide of into slumberland.

You are sad to watch him leave the next morning, but the alarm on your phone, that interrupts your romantic little breakfast that Aegon had cooked, painfully reminds you, that you promised to pick up Aly from the airport.

“I´ll call you later, okay?” You promise him as he steps out of your car.

“I can´t wait already.” He replies.

You make your way to meet your friend and of course he follows you once again. Extra careful that you don´t see his car. It wasn´t necessarily low-key after all. Things are easier once he follows you into a café that looks like no ordinary student could pay for the food there already, keeping a close eye on you as you and your friend order brunch, nothing unconventional from what you have told him about her and your other friends. He starts to toy with the idea of leaving to not get caught, when something Aly says makes his ears perk up.

“So, how is it going with your new favorite person?” Her tone is light and she wiggles her eyebrows at you.

“I already told you to stop calling him that.” You laugh at her antics. “And don´t even try calling him my boyfriend. We haven´t even been on two dates yet.”

“Yeah, alright. Not even on two dates, but he has also been inside of you and has spent the night at your place after getting you snacks simply because you asked him to…” she shoots you an unbelieving look. “Like seriously. And you haven´t even told me all the dirty little details yet. Bitch, you owe me. I thought we were friends.”

If his heart beat higher before, when the word boyfriend left your lips, it beats even higher now at the mention of your night together.

“There´s not much to tell.” You try to deflect.

Not much to tell? He asks himself. He thought he had done better than `not much to tell´.

“Oh hells no. You know I won´t let you off that easy.” She persists.

“Alright. Okay. It was great. He was so sweet and made sure to make me come like two times before he thought about himself. You happy now?” You try to keep your voice down as much as possible so the people around you don´t hear. Which is only a half success as Aly´s squeal gets you some of the unwanted attention anyway.

“Was he big?” Her question earns a shocked expression and gasp from you. And a concealed giggle from Aegon.

“I mean I guess. You know I don´t have much to compare it to, but I´d say he was solid.” You shrug. “Now can we please change the topic? How was your time with the family.”

Aly starts on a rant about everything her family did and said and so Aegon decides to go before he truly overtaxes his luck.

As he walks by the window you are sitting close to, you think it is him, weighing the options of saying something or not, deciding against it. You were just imagining things, because Aly was talking without a single pause and you missed him. You sigh, trying to concentrate on whatever your friend was talking about.

When you finally get home it is late afternoon already and you are pretty tired, but you can´t pass up on the call you promised Aegon.

“Hello there.” He picks up.

“General Kenobi.” You answer in the fashion that the Star wars quote commands.

“How did it go with your friend?” He asks feigning genuine interest as if he hadn´t been there for the most interesting part.

“Yeah, it went well. I just got home, basically.” You sigh and rub your eyes, who were burning for some reason.

“Wow.” He huffs amusedly.

“You can say that loudly. I originally planned on asking you if you want to come over, but I totally forgot that I have an early class tomorrow that I need to prepare something for. This week is gonna kick my ass…”

“Ah, damn. So how about we meet up Friday evening? I could pick you up and we could check out this new bar that just opened.” He suggests. Knowing already what this meant for the coming days.

“That would be so cool.” A yawn interrupts what you were saying. “Gods I´m sorry I´m really tired. Would you be mad if we hang up now and I´ll text you again before class?”

“Not at all. You go ahead and do your thing. I´ll hear from you tomorrow.” He reassures you.

“Thank you. Good night, Aeg.” You chirp.

“You have a good night too and don´t overdo it with the studying.”

“I won´t, mom.” Your faux annoyed tone gets broken up by one last chuckle before the two of you hang up. You always laugh so much with him. More than with anyone else and at the same time your deep talks are on such a level you don´t know how to express it to your friends.

You have always felt safe in your own home, shutting out the scary, real world. Unknowing, that someone stared at you through the large windows almost every day and night. But a window is just glass, and glass… oh it breaks so, so easily…

Friday takes forever to roll around, but when it finally does, nothing can wipe the smile from your face. Your mood is basically indestructible. As is his. You sing and dance your way all through out getting ready and when Aegon rings the bell you open the door with a spring in your step.

“Someone´s in a good mood.” Aegon muses.

“Just happy about seeing you.” You admit. Hugging him and kissing his cheek as a greeting. “Lemme just grab my purse and then we can go.”

You lock the door behind you and together he drives you out to a place that can hardly be classified as a bar. Upon entering the place you feel massively underdressed, but he doesn´t seem to care. He is just happy to be there with you and you are happy to be there with him. He asks about your week and how your writing is going while you sip one drink after another until you feel a light buzz. The alcohol making your insides feel as warm as his presence and his hand on your thigh do. Over the duration of the evening you gradually move closer, but by the time he drops you off, he lets you go with just a quick peck to your lips.

“Thank you for the nice evening.” You rub your eyes. Wanting to say something, anything to stay close to him just a bit longer, but your tired and tipsy mind can´t come up with anything.

“With you it´s always a nice evening. Now go on. Get to bed before you fall asleep in the passenger seat.” He squeezes your thigh one last time before he lets you open the door to head inside.

As always he parks his car around the corner to watch you until you fall asleep, but somehow tonight something is different.

Aegon feels a strange sensation tugging at his heart. A longing. To have you right this second. He doesn´t know what comes over him, but without a second thought he takes one of the stones in front of your window and throws it at the glass. It was meant to tap the glass, at least that´s what he tells himself, but instead it breaks it.

Fuck, Aegon curses under his breath, praying to the seven or any other deity that is willing to hear him that you didn´t wake up from the commotion. When your apartment stays silent, he decides that it isn´t safe for you alone with the broken window situation. It takes a few tries, but in the end he manages to climb through it. Keen on not making to much noise while walking over the shards on the ground, he tiptoes over to your bed.

You lay with your back towards the free side and so it is easy for him to slide in under the covers as well. He presses his chest as close to your back as possible, his hand laying innocently but protectively over your waist.

Aegon kisses your temple and silently promises to not close an eye, to watch over you, all night.

But the night is long and having you so close to him, smelling your shampoo and feeling your hips rub against his every time you shift in your sleep, makes it hard to keep his hand there. It also made him hard. The next time you shift in your sleeping state, his hand wanders down to your thighs. Once more and it lands trapped between them. Gently caressing your slit through the thin material of your leggings.

You sigh and stir lightly at his touch, but don´t wake up. Instead you just press yourself closer to him in your unconscious state. The action prompts Aegon to bite his lip to stifle the moan that wants to break free from his lungs. He can´t give himself away like this. He would only scare you and that is the last thing he wants to do. You simply look so good, how could anyone help themselves. You can be lucky he is there to watch over you.

A quiet moan comes from you as he continues his ministrations. The touch barely light enough to tease, but that heavenly sound pushes him further.

His hand slips underneath the waistband, past your lace panties and finds your already wet heat.

“Fuck.” He whispers, pushing two of his thick fingers inside of your entrance. He wants to take things so much further, but if he wants you to stay asleep he has to be careful. He pumps the two digits in and out of you at a slow pace. Feeling you grow even wetter as you squirm, quiet moans the only tell for the pleasurable feeling you are experiencing. He speeds up the movement of his fingers slightly, until he can´t take the lewd noises coming from your core anymore. He just has to taste you or he was sure he would die right then and there.

He shifts his position on the mattress, turning you onto your back, pausing when you stir again, moving to lay between your legs. Your pants are discarded and carelessly thrown to the side, before he dives in for the first taste of your heavenly center. He regrets not taking the time to appreciate your body the way it deserves, but he needs you so much there is no time for that now. His tongue licks a stripe up the length of your cunt, moaning at the sweet taste. And when he hears your own quiet moan and sees how you bring your hips closer to his face he is unstoppable. His tongue delves into you, fucking you with it and recklessly. Reaping every single one of your little noises and movements. He is so far gone that he doesn´t even realize, that with every new stir you start to wake up a little more.

At first your mind is still foggy with sleep and the pleasurable feeling his lips and tongue bring you. Your hand instinctively treads itself into his hair. But when you fully come to You scramble backwards until your back hits the headboard. His mouth chasing after you before he realizes what has happened and looks up at you.

“Aegon?! What are you doing here?” You gasp.

“Shh, it´s okay. Just let me worship you in the way you deserve.” Aegon slides his hand up your calf in a feather light touch.

“How did you get in here?” You ask, becoming more panicked.

“The door. I told you, you need to be more careful. You are lucky I came here to protect you.” His voice is soothing and so deep. And so you relax a little, leaning back as he resumes his previous activities.

But somehow something just feels wrong. Like a feeling in your gut. This is so unlike anything he has shown you of himself. Thinking about it he hadn´t shown you all that much in the first place. And that feeling just won´t let itself be shaken off so you shove his head away once more.

“Can we please just go back to sleep? I don´t really feel entirely in the mood right now.”

“Oh doll, that sounded much different a while ago. I didn´t even touch you all that much, yet you were still soaking those lace panties for me.” He climbs on top of you, rasping the words into your ear. “And the position I found you laying in… You´re such a fucking tease. It´s like you were begging for it.”

A sickening cold fear spreads in your system. A yelp leaving your mouth as he pulls you down by the ankle so your core is pressed to his. You are too in shock to return his kiss when he forcefully presses his mouth to yours. This is not the Aegon you know, but something tells you that this is the real Aegon. Coming back from the shocked state, you try to push him away. Hands pressed to his chest and legs eagerly searching for a way out, but he is too strong.

“I don´t want this, Aegon. Please stop.” You whimper into his shoulder as he mouths at your neck. Nibbling at all the most sensitive spots. Hating yourself for the growing even wetter as he rubs his length against your core. You don´t even know how or when he rid himself of his own pants. All you know is, that he now is pulling on your night shirt. Eager to get it off while simultaneously pinning your wrists down over your head so you would stop pushing him away.

As it turns out it is harder to do than imagined and so another yelp falls from your lips as he rips the fabric off your body. Your chest moving with fast and harsh breaths.

“Shh, everything´s alright. I´m here to take care of you.” He silences you with another unrequited, bruising kiss.

You are helpless against him, squirming and writhing underneath his much larger frame. This whole situation is so absurd and to add to all of it, when you bite his lower lip in a desperate attempt of self defense and getting the upper hand, he simply laughs. Tears start to prick in your eyes as the sound reaches your ears. As much as you want to blink them away they free themselves. Running down your burning cheeks accompanied by a sob.

“Aww, don´t cry doll. I´m going to make you feel so good. Just relax and let it wash over you.” His free hand wanders down to roughly caress one of your breasts. Rolling and tweaking the nipple between his fingers until the bundle of nerves stands hard at attention and your back arches off the bed. Which he takes as the sign to go ahead in what he is doing. Bringing his mouth down to the other breast, sucking and kissing on it until that nipple looks much the same like the other.

With one swift motion Aegon pushes inside of you, his cock stretching you out like no one had before. It is nothing like your first time together. He immediately starts to thrust inside of you at a fast pace.

"Aegon... please... st-op." You cry out to him to no avail.

Rutting into you at an almost breakneck pace. His head bows down and you feel puffs of hot breath hit the skin where your neck and shoulder meet. The feeling is utterly upsetting and you want to throw up at the same time you lost all the strength in your body. It´s all futile.

“I already told you I´m not gonna stop. You know deep down that you enjoy this. So why don´t you make this easier for yourself and stop fighting it.” His teeth sink into your tender skin harshly.

"Aahhh! Fuck, that hurts! Why are you doing this?" You question him.

"Because you deserve to be worshipped. You are a goddess walking amongst men." He nibbles on your ear. Much softer than the bite before, but that doesn't make anything better.

His hips continue to piston into yours. The sound of wet skin slapping against skin filling the otherwise quiet apartment alongside with your bitter cries. The moon outside is the only source of light illuminating his features.

You try to turn your head away from him, but he forces it back by your chin. So instead you close your eyes. You can´t stand to look at him anymore. His face that looked so sweet and innocent to you before is now distorted into a grimace of sick pleasure. Eyes closely watching your every reaction and a sheen of sweat covering his skin, sticking the front locks of his silver blond hair to his forehead.

With a few more thrusts he comes inside of you and for a short moment you have the hope that this is it. Aegon relaxes against you, but as your cries become weaker you notice how he only seems to get harder inside your warmth.

“Can you please let me go now?” You try again with a quiet, shaky voice.

“Oh, you think I am done with you yet? No no no. We are done when you come around my cock and accept me for who I am. What you made me.” His tone is nothing short of condescending and he tuts at you as your crying grows hysterical again.

You guess the gesture is supposed to soothe you, but it has the exact opposite effect.

You cry yourself into a near state of incoherency as he pushes your knees up against your chest forcefully, giving him a whole new angle inside of you. The way the head of his cock bullies your sweet spot is the final straw. It hurts. Despite it feeling so wrong it feels so good. You hate yourself even more as inadvertent pleasure runs through you like electricity. Making your toes curl and your eyes roll back. You scream louder with every thrust of his until you are near voiceless. You try to remind yourself that your body reacting to it doesn´t make it any more right and it doesn´t mean that you secretly enjoy it. But it´s so hard.

“You like it deep, don´t you?” Aegon´s voice in your ear painfully pulls you back into reality.

“Please.” You beg one last time, but the plea, just like all the others, falls onto deaf ears.

Your body gives up any last fight it has left. Quietly sobbing when your walls flutter around him and your hips start to shake. A wave of pleasure, or maybe just disguised shame, washes over you, provoking Aegon´s second orgasm.

“You are mine. You will never leave me. No one can love you like I do.” His voice sounds so soft. So genuine.

You almost want to believe him, but that would require a level of coherency you currently do not possess.

As you lay there with your whole body shaking, trying to come down from this experience and waiting for what he would do next, you ask yourself where things had gone wrong. What did you do to provoke this? To deserve this? Yet no matter how hard you pray to the seven for a sign or anything at all really, you don´t get an answer.

#aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon x reader #aegon ii x reader #aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii #dark!aegon targaryen x reader #modern hotd au #modern hotd #modern house of the dragon au #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd fic #house of the dragon fic #hotd x reader

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murdrdocs · 8 months

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this is the best thing my neurodivergent gay mind just came up with

a space observatory/planetarium date with Hazel and laying on the grass stargazing afterwards and having deep convos🫶🫶🫶

this is so so cute and we all need a palette cleanser

i fully believe that hazel is a little nerd like she's smart as shit (obvi girl can make a bomb) but her niche is space. like from sixth grade to now she's been obsessed with space, usually astronomy and she had a slight astrology era freshmen year of high school.

but she never knew that her astronomy obsession would actually come in handy in her future. yeah, she figured she would maybe go into some high paying career where she would actually be interested, but she didn't expect that astronomy knowledge to be useful this early on.

going to a planetarium, holding your hand as she's able to confidently answer practically any question you direct her way. you're curled up next to her, as best as you can with the seating, and you have this look in your eyes that resonates with the feeling she remembers having as she learned about the universe. she points out the constellations she knows, directing your forefinger to where her eye line is directed when you can't find it on your own.

there's loads of kisses shared, mostly because you look so pretty marveling at the projected sky and also because your lips taste like the sweet ice cream you indulged in before coming here.

afterwards, you find yourself in hazel's backyard, laying on the patch of well kept grass and sharing a blanket. the bowl of popcorn you'd shared is empty now, pushing off to the side to allow you to cuddle up next to her. and hazel feels like she's on top of the world with your head on her shoulder, your arm draped over her torso, and your hand lifted up to the sky.

"help me find my star sign?" you ask her, knowing it's up there with the season. she smiles, nodding and pressing a kiss to your forehead before doing just that.

#hazelsworld!#celeste writes misc #hazel callahan x reader #hazel callahan x you #hazel callahan #bottoms movie #bottoms movie fluff #hazel callahan fluff

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oldhalloweentape · 30 days

Text

🪨Venture (OW II) x (fem) reader ⛏️

(Gamer Girl Reader Edition!)

(Picture’s not mine!)

(Request here! Yeah so, here’s this! Not much to add, I’ll probably start working on the Junkrat headcanons now there aren’t any more asks for Venture at the moment)

- I think the idea of Venture, a very outdoorsy and adventurous person with you, a girl who is more inclined to stay inside and play your games could be really cute :))

- Despite their keen interest in getting out of there and exploring they’d happily stay inside to spend some time playing games, especially with you!

- In their opinion, it’s like exploring whole new world’s without the hassle of exerting themselves physically (they like doing it nonetheless ofc) besides giving themselves a hand cramp or two.

- If there’s a game you especially like in particular, they take notice and either play it with you or play it later if it’s single-player only— 80% chance of them becoming obsessed with it as well.

- Lore??? Yes please, they want it so bad that they can make a billboard of everything so they can try to “crack” the game franchise.

- 100% buys merch for you AND themselves, cause I feel like they’d do it either due to them wanting to be supportive or partaking in the games fandom themselves.

- Specifically, I think they’d like certain games such as:

- Tomb Raider: I mean, look at it— It has artifacts, parkour, and a badass main character (I can see them crushing on Lara Croft as a little kid, can and will die if you ever cosplay as her). Self-explanatory.

- Minecraft: Endless possibilities, worlds, scenarios, they can make blocky replicas of real-life historical architecture— “…You wanna put our Minecraft beds together?”

- Spore: A little more niche with this one but this game is all about literally building up an organism and giving them culture and civilizations, come on they’d totally love a game like this… Dig it even.

- Assassin's Creed Unity: This game literally helped with the reconstruction of THE Notre Dame— THAT’S how accurate and intricate the amount of detail that went into the world-building of this game is. It’s like a love letter to them.

- Stardew Valley: As much as they like adventure (and Stardew provides that in the mines anyway) it’s nice to play a game that’s focused on something as simple yet intricate as this… That and I know a clueless player who still has fun regardless when I see one.

- BG3: It has adventure, mystery, a medieval aura, great character dialogue, and animal companions that are all so different and so charming… A large, HOT, silly tiefling woman (again if you cosplay as her they will not recover) who could throw them against the wall like they’re a bag of half-empty chips. 10/10.

- ANYWAYS, back on you two, if you make time to do what they like they’ll do so in return. Making an effort as they try to get a few pointers from the Queen of gaming herself— D.Va.

- Helps happily of course thinks y’all are adorable and reassures Venture that when she’s done with them they’ll know everything there is to know when it comes to dating a gamer girl. It’s so fucking stupid but the intent that Sloane had for wanting to impress you is still apparent.

- The information helps surprisingly, to woo you successfully, which D.Va actively boasts about whenever she can after asking how y’all are doing.

- For sure goes on mall dates with you to get gaming stuff, prefers it over online shopping. Buying things like shirts over your shared favored games, and sharing them. Loves to be able to smell you on them (not in a creepy way) while away at work for a prolonged period.

- Loves to distract you from playing your games, sitting behind you, arms wrapped around your waist as they lean against your back, head either on your shoulder or the top of your head.

- Sometimes feeling a bit flirty and kissing the back of one of your ears, rubbing your sides, mumbling honeyed and lustful words, things like “You look gorgeous to me right now mi corazón, how about you put that controller down and let me prove it?”

- They’re like a spoiled cat when it comes to your attention, I would know because I have three, and one is currently making my other arm fall asleep.

(There!! Sorry if this came out a little later than it should’ve, I’m a little exhausted from some real stuff, and I stayed up over midnight for this one. The Venture effect lol)

#overwatch x reader #venture overwatch #venture x reader #overwatch 2 #venture ow2

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hella1975 · 4 months

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hellaaa plz share your favorite dabihawks fics for all of us who want some recs into their crazy minds!!

sorry i didnt answer this straight away i was reading a 230k words fic that i wanted to finish before i added it here 😭 does anyone know what's wrong with me. therapists hate me

dabihawks rec list!!

burn it all down by dorothycanfly - an au where dabi comes back to the todoroki estate to kill shouto when he's 19 and shouto is 11, but decides instead to take his little brother with him as part of his Grand Evil Masterplan that doesn't quite go as he wanted. this is the fic i always rec first in this fandom as it's the first dabi fic i really read that felt like it Understood Him and really made me go bananas about him. it's dark and twisted and true to what i think his actual mindset would be without demonising him, and also has shouto and him being very close and the way the author writes their dynamic is everything to me like it's so true to a real sibling relationship and id die for them. it gets very smutty in the middle but if that's not your thing the plot also kicks right back up again at 100mph immediately after, and there's also a sequel still being updated that's very promising.

big reputations by phanatics - singer fake dating au!!! i absolutely love dabi's characterisation in this and the celebrity angle is handled soooo well. the miscommunication and slow burn is incredible and that's coming from a bitch who finds both tropes frustrating unless they're done to my very niche standards. im pretty sure i read this fic in one day. im not making graduation i fear.

gunshots and molotovs by ironicallystupid - this is a 14k oneshot where dabi treats hawks' gunshot wound in a distinctly dabi way and then they get drunk. this one really got to me and i think it's bc it's one fic where they feel so true to character while still, for once, both acting their age. a big appeal of dabihawks for me is that they are both ultimately just two guys in their early twenties and seeing them embody that youth and silliness was surprisingly poignant

the 'will you accept this rose?' series by satelliteblue- the famous bachelorette au! if you don't know what i mean by famous, it's bc this fic has a habit of getting people who don't even read mha fic obsessed with it. like it's genuinely addicting. i remember first finding it and being like 'bacherlorette au dabihawks? be so fr' and look where im at now, 355k words later. it's genuinely just such a fun read AND i love the drama of it AND it has the todofam angle AND an actual plot snuck into it effortlessly. one of my fav fics of all time truly and it's still updating!

perspective by theeclecticeccentric - this is the fic i just finished and when i tell you ive powered through all 230k words of it in the past 4ish days. i love the league dynamic in this with the whole found family angle. i'll say it was something i clicked on less bc this kind of au (childhood friends dabihawks brainwashed to forget each other) is what i would normally go for and more bc i have BATTERED the dabihawks tag for all it's worth so i just tried it on a whim, but im so happy i clicked this bc it wound up being so fun! i also love any fic that forces the heroes and villains to ally against the hpsc and this fic does that. instant hit with me.

#if you want more dabi-centric fics (bc those are my bread and butter to the surprise of no one)#then i recommend ao3 user theyaremycrocs for singlehandedly RUINING my mental health with every and any fic of theirs #but yeah! i tried to keep this short and sweet but genuinely a ship hasnt had me in such a firm chokehold as dabihawks since like #my haikyuu era or something. not quite zukka bc who could ever but sakuatsu are getting nervous #ask #dabihawks #mha #fic rec

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wolfstrong · 1 year

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The reason why Riley was so floppish was because he didn’t mesh with the group and I couldn’t even imagine his interactions with the scoobs other then like. Oh yeah that’s Buffy’s boyfriend. TARA on the other hand is so so real to me that even if they don’t show it because she’s not like constantly in the show I can so perfectly imagine how she gets alone with everyone and how she fits into the group dynamic.

They in “I was made for you” they had a scene of Tara and Anya walking and just talking about random computer stuff together and it made me so happy because I already felt like Tara and Anya would get along despite the fact that Willow doesn’t like Anya. I think that Tara would like the fact that Anya is very straightforward as I imagine Tara wouldn’t be one for very complicated social queues or having to act fake. Anya just tells it like it is and is also deeply strange, something I think Tara appreciates in a person.

I think that Tara generally gets along with everyone in the gang but Xanders the person she struggles with the most. I think they both really really want to get along with each other because they both know how much the other means to Willow, but this pressure to get along creates a tension that neither of them can preform properly under. Tara is the type to be more quiet when she feels awkward Xander definitely feels awkward when it’s quiet and has to babble nervously to fill the silence. This leads to them having many fumbled uncomfortably interactions despite them both meaning the best. I think they would eventually discover that they share some weird niche common interest and they could use that as a jumping point to slowly bond and relate to each other. I could see them eventually having like some real ass late night back porch talk about both growing up in abusive households where Xander cries but that’s like way down the line.

And her just like really genuinely loving Dawn and even if it’s quietly and from far away trying her best to look out for her and steer her in the right direction. I think Tara sees that Dawn often feels outcasted and different from everyone else and she’s able to really empathize as she felt the same way at that age. And of course Giles who she respects a lot and sees as the steadfast parental figure she never got. And Buffy, who before her moms death may have been a little hard to relate to and very intimidating. But after I think they have a level of trust and understand between them that runs deep. Tara will always be there when Buffy needs to talk about things that no one else gets, and vise versa.

Anyway did you know that I’m obsessed with Tara and I love her

#BTVS

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darkleysgarden · 9 months

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Into The Alters

A Total Drama Analysis

INTRODUCTION

I have been obsessed with the whole system. I love them all sm. And because of this, I had to analyze them ofc. That's what I always do. I'll start with more general things and then deep dive into the alters and how they formed.

Disclaimer: I do not have DID, nor do I claim to know everything about the condition. I have done my best to try and learn about it and be as accurate as possible. If I make any mistakes or use incorrect terms, please tell me! I'm trying my best and genuinely hope to improve. Tyty.

WARNINGS: I will discuss ableism, child abuse, sexual abuse, overall trauma, potential murder/crimes, and other Total Drama typical things.

Also, whenever I say 'they' or 'them', I'm referring to all the alters or multiple of them.

OVERALL VIEW OF THE SYSTEM

DID often forms from trauma, and this system clearly did form that way. I'll get into it more on the alters individual parts, but the way they act and the roles they take on help prove that their pasts were very traumatic.

What is the goal of them going on Total Drama?: I believe that the goal is to move out. I rewatched it recently, and I remember no mention of the bodies parents, no mention of their pasts other than hints at juvie, nothing. But, Nico, how can you say that it's specifically to move out? Throughout the seasons, it's hinted at that Mike knows little about TD. He's heard of it. He knows general things. Yet, he doesn't understand more niche callbacks. Most of the new cast mentions being huge fans or watching the series before. Mike, to my memory, doesn't. Mike never points out his goal for the million dollars, and the last thing he wants is fame. He even goes against his psychiatrists wishes of going on the show. Why is a million dollars so important to get? To move out. The DID formed from something, right? The most obvious way to form would be because of parents or guardians. And if you don't believe me yet, the only reference as to what they will do with the money is by Mal. Mal says he wants to use the money to live out his life his way in a tower of his own. AKA, he's using the money to move into a new place and gain free will. And I'll go deeper into that in a moment.

EDIT: I just found out that it's basically canon that they were using it to move out. The Fresh TV official blog confirmed that Mike and Zoey moved in together shortly after All Stars. Obviously they would have used the money to do so.

Overall, what I am saying here is that they have a bad home life and are going onto Total Drama to escape that. Both while the show runs and when they win. They even went on two seasons even though the first was stressful enough and they weren't having a great time. When people come back, they have a reason that they detail. Fame or fortune. We never get that from Mike. Because it's personal. It's personal and not something he is willing to share on international TV.

WHAT DOES THE RESET BUTTON DO?

After much research, the reset button does not seem possible to me and I have a new theory on what it actually did.

Via my research, I could be wrong, you cannot get rid of DID entirely. Alters can not be killed. To get rid of Mal would have required Mal to comply with it, and Mal was not complying.

Integration is possible. Parts can be erased. Though, in the end, Mal would come back like seen in the show. He can not be entirely erased because that's just not how DID works. Even integration, forced dormancy, and letting go of alters would take a ton of work and time. Getting rid of Mal would be hard and would be one thing. But to erase all of them and get rid of DID entirely? It's impossible from what I've seen. It's hard to erase a single alter, especially if they don't want to go like Mal. Usually, they leave by decision or go into dormancy on their own. And it seems that usually, if an old alter is erased, a new alter usually will form that is very similar to the old one.

Alternative theory: What do I really think the reset button did? Dormancy.

This would be hard, but not impossible. Like I said before, it's a choice that leads to dormancy and erasure. Aside from Mal, they were all on board with the decision. They would be able to put themselves into hiding in the meantime while Mike sorts his life out. All 5 of them would likely be able to force Mal into dormancy together, especially considering that we know they did it before.

"But Chester directly told us that-"

Chester is not reliable at all. Nobody else knew what it did. They were operating off of what he told them. Chester is shown to have shit memory and not know what he's talking about. He could have easily not explained the button entirely correctly.

I believe that once the show is over, Mike moves out, things settle down, the alters will slowly come out of dormancy as it feels right.

This is probably me being in denial that they're gone, but idc.

SVETLANA

Omg, Svetlana. I am her biggest fan !!!!!

Sorry.

Anyway. I suspect Svetlana is a fictive. Actually, my boyfriend came up with that. I'm stealing it from him. Ask him for more details. Idrk the details.

Basically, Svetlana is extremely detailed. She holds information and memories that seem to have come from outside of the systems experiences. She is too detailed to be a randomly formed alter.

How did she form?: So, I believe the character was off of a book character? I WASN'T THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THIS PART. I bet you're thinking, why aren't you researching this? I'm ranting to myself rn okay. I'm just also putting it on the internet for funsies. I'm operating off memory rn. All my research has been done off random questions I've had while pacing around my room at 3AM.

UPDATE: we've changed our minds. There's an Olympic Russian gymnast named Svetlana who has won TONS of awards and holds common references with her. She was also actively competing at the time Mike would have been a kid. So he could have been watching her and wanted to copy her acts. Svetlana Khorkina, if you're interested

Anyway. Young Mike is experimenting with himself. Because that's what every kid does. This doesn't necessarily mean that he's LGBTQ or anything. A boy can try on dresses without that being the case. People experiment with their identity, especially at a young age.

However, people don't like that. Because people are bitches fsr. Idk. And I already speculated before that the bodies' parents aren't great. An alter is forming off a book character he found relatable. The character being female is part of what gave him this interest in looking at feminine stuff. Yet, he got in trouble for it. In that situation, Svetlana would form off of the character, making her a fictive. Yet, she has also become a protector. She is now there to protect the physical aspect of the body. She's the one who works out with her gymnastics. She probably does skin care and that stuff. She knows how to get dressed well. She is there to protect the physical aspect and keep the body healthy.

And she won't fail to defend them from anybody who dislikes a boy wearing makeup or anything of the sorts. Those gymnastics muscles aren't fake bro.

Age speculation: so I don't feel like researching the book more. In fact, I can't even remember if it was a book. So I'm basing this entirely off of canon.

I think she is 14 or so. Though, with her, I can see a lot of fluctuation. I used to think she was more in her 20s. But, I think it makes much more sense for her to be a young teenager. Also, just saying this now, but my age headcanons are just headcanons. So, if I don't work with your ships, you can move them to a degree as long as it isn't weird. JUST DONT MOVE MANITOBA OR VITO MUCH AND ILL GET INTO THAT.

Back to Svetlana, though, she acts a lot like a young teenage girl. We know she has participated in many gymnastics events, and I feel like she wouldn't be so active in doing them if she didn't feel comfortable with the age group, if it wasn't very similar to her own. Which leads me to somewhere teenage. And then idk if it requires an explanation, but she gives 14 year old girl energy.

Also, I have a random silly hc that Svetlana was the only girl that could beat Skye in gymnastics. Svetlana had to participate somewhere, and they're both Canadian and probably would end up at the same competitions. There may be proof to disprove this, but all I've seen is "but the body is male," but Svetlana wouldn't participate in boys' competitions, and maybe people just aren't transphobic. Idk. SVETLANA HAS A TON OF AWARDS IN CANON. SHE ISN'T JUST SAYING THAT. IT'S IN THEIR ROOM. Sorry, I'm off topic.

MANITOBA

Another one of my favorites and another fictive WOOHOO.

So the creators, from what I've seen, have said Manitoba was based on Indiana Jones. And then they took Australian aspects from two non-fictional people.

That's why I've decided to call Manitoba and Indiana Jones fictive.

Formation: Nothing huge to this one. I believe Manitoba formed mostly off comfort. Indiana Jones was a comfort character. A cool explorer who could get out of any situation (I think. Admittedly, I've never actually watched it.)

We see constantly that Manitoba fronts specifically during tough situations that are hard to get out of. He's smarter than the others in many ways. He is always able to call out Mal's slip-ups and lies. He knows what he is doing and is able to protect and save the others from tough times. That is his main purpose as an alter.

Also, I think it's interesting to note that Manitoba says that Mike gets in the way of his relationships, and then Mike said that the alters would ruin his romantic relationships. I'm just saying that Manitoba probably had a love interest we didn't get to see. Idk. Just had to bring that up when talking about him. Listen, I'm analyzing them for the system, but I'm also doing general analysis, okay?

Age speculation: So... I see a lot of people speculating that he is like 20-40. I don't believe that. I placed him at about 18-19.

I couldn't figure out if fictives are always the same age as the character they form off of. But, let's say they are. In that case, I believe that it's highly likely Mike could have formed Manitoba off of the 13 year old Indiana Jones River Pheonix played. Then he continued to age.

The reason I don't like the older headcanons is mainly because he flirted with Zoey and was implied to be in past relationships. Obviously, these people wouldn't be far off from Mike's age. Going off of a 17 year old Mike, Manitoba is only 2 years older. I also just don't see it fitting for him to be much older? I can see him acting 20-25, but like I said I prefer it younger as it makes more sense with his relationships.

We never see Chester flirt with anyone for this reason. He's too old for them. It would be weird for Manitoba to flirt with them if it was the same case. And speaking of Chester...

CHESTER

Ima be so honest. I'm not hugely interested in Chester. Yet, I do think he's interesting in the aspect that he is different. And I believe he is an introject (if that's the correct term).

Mike's parents were shit in this speculation. He would search for someone outside of them. Like a grandparent. I also want to credit deranged_royal on tiktok as she formed most of my Chester headcanons and helped further my other analyses. She also has really cool cosplays. So follow her rn.

How he formed: Mike looked up to some kind of grandparent figure who ended up dying. He was hurt by this as he had nobody else to look up to. Therefore, an introject formed. It seems that introjects of people systems know in real life often form off of people that provide them comfort or have died. So, I think this makes sense.

Age speculation: 60-80

I feel like old people don't really act differently after they hit 60 or so, so I don't really know. He's probably older because of the issues he has.

Sorry, Chester is so short. I don't have too much to say about him. We don't get a lot of him, and I feel like he is very easy and simple to understand. I love his scenes, though. He's so silly.

VITO

So we all agree Vito is the sexual protector? All right. Thanks. This one goes more into sexual assault and sexual situations!!!

Formation: I actually have two separate theories for this. They both lie in sexual assault. But I'm leaning towards a sexually abusive ex over guardians.

The reason I think this is largely based on how he acts with Anne Maria. Also, the tiktoker I mentioned earlier also noted that he only fronts when the body becomes stripped of clothing. Interesting detail....

I love Annito. I'm their biggest fan, actually. I'm working on rewriting their entire wiki rn because all the system wikis are outdated. I love them sm. Break from the sadness. Look at the cuties.

Anyway. Have you ever noticed how attached Vito gets? He meets Anne Maria, and she is all he can think about from then on. He does anything even if it annoys him just to see her again. Assault survivors tend to get attached easily to those who show them positive attention. Also, they want to take charge of the more sexual aspects. Vito starts making out with Anne Maria within about 5 minutes of meeting.

Anne Maria gives him the interest, care, and control he seeks in a relationship. And now he clings to her. And they're healthy. I LOVE THEM AHHHHHH. Sorry. They're perfect together.

Age speculation: 17-18. This one is obvious to me. He acts like every high school senior. Plus, Anne Maria was 16 in roti. He's no more than 1-2 years older than her. Especially since she thought he was the host before the DID discovery. That means she thought he was about 16. Would be weird if he wasn't.

MIKE

Wowzers. We're at the host!

Okay. Mike, I get it you have internalized ableism. This issue, however, leads to a lot of mistreatment of his headmates. He acts like he owns them, which isn't a positive thing to do.

I love Mike a lot, but I will not erase his actions.

He never allows anyone to front unless it is for use. For example, Svetlana, if it's a physical situation. Then after he fronts immediately again. They even imply that he was never in headspace, meaning that he would only ever let them co front or would fully dissociate.

He didn't let them be their own people, which is really sad. He also didn't allow them their own relationships. Though they have as much of a right to those relationships as Mike does.

Just because Mike is the host or the 'first' doesn't mean that he isn't still an alter. He becomes an alter the second an alter forms for the first time. He is now only one of the people who shares the body.

Also, this may be controversial, but I don't like how Zoey treats Mike. 😕 I don't really have strong opinions outside of their relationship on her. But, I dislike how she, even after a year of dating, seems to not understand anything about his DID. Plus, she always brushes off every other alter and doesn't try to be friends with them or anything. Instead of helping with Mal, she just acted like Mike was lying to her. I like their friendship, but I can't ship Zoke for those reasons.

I could say more about that, but this isn't a Zoke hate post. Mb bros. I probably just lost a few of you. Too bad, so sad. Mal is the best part. You're gonna miss him.

I know I have more to say on him, but I am honestly blanking right now. It's hard to say more about him as he didn't form the same way as the others. I don't really know much about the first alter, so I don't really want to say more for that reason, too.

MAL

Oh, boy. Buckle up.

Idek where to start. I'll accidentally leave out sm because I have sm...

Formation: Mal was the first alter after Mike to form. I'm confident in this for sm reasons. For example, none of the other alters knew about if Mike or Mal formed first. Let's say Svetlana formed after Manitoba. Manitoba would know he was there before she formed as they all actively communicated with each other. Though, they all formed before juvie as they knew about that whole situation personally.

Therefore, I'd say that Mike and Mal have known each other since Mike was about 6. Which makes sense with the research I've done about formation ages. And this is why they know each other so well. Mal is able to imitate Mike extremely well. What gave him away was WHISTLING. And then the bracelet/necklace thing, but like, that has nothing to do with how well he knows Mike's personality.

He knows everything about Mike. And Mike NEEDED him. That is explicitly said by Mal and confirmed by Mike. Mal was formed to protect Mike from abusive or traumatic experiences. And that is why Mal is the way he is largely.

Mal experienced a traumatic childhood. And I believe he's younger than Mike. When Mike is 17, I believe he is only 13-15.

I believe that Mal is terrified of the fact that Mike doesn't need him anymore. So scared that when Mike is put under a ton of stress on the show, Mal fronts full time to take the situation into his hands. He still wants the same goal as the others, to move away. But he is doing it his own way. Also, notice how much he targeted Zoey? He hated anyone getting close to his headmates. He wants to protect them.

"How do you explain him being so rude?"

He is a kid who had a bad childhood. Because of this, he wants to take out the pain he received and push it onto others as well. That's why he's so aggressive. And part of it is just him being a devious 13 y/o.

And, don't forget that that kid was in jail.

Speaking of, he ran the place, right?

Of course, he would want to run the place. It's a whole jail troupe for a reason that you need to make yourself feared. If everyone was scared of him, nobody would hurt him.

That brings me to what I think got Mal into juvie.

Self protection murder.

From what I've seen of the laws, I believe he could go to juvie instead of adult jail for this based on the trial. And if it's self-protection against an abusive person, he could get off with less. I believe. I'm no expert on Canadian law or law in general.

Why do I think this?

Well, Mal had to do something pretty bad to have everyone fearing him. A young kid with a body at like 13 (my guess for body age when in jail), who committed murder. Everyone would stray away. Especially if Mal left out the details and claimed it was in cold blood.

Mal likely fronted most of the time during juvie. He had to go through that rough and scary situation. He went through all of this traumatic stuff.

And then...

Mike forced him into dormancy.

He loves Mike and wants to protect him. Yet, he holds a grudge against him. Mike formed him and made him suffer, and then now tries to get rid of him.

Of course Mal would be upset.

How he acts in All Stars is heavily based on a mix of his grudge against Mike, his trauma, his young age, his time in jail, and overall the nature of the alter he was formed to be.

Mal was formed to be someone stronger and more protective. He wasn't supposed to back down. He was supposed to save them all from that abuse.

But, he's still young and still his own person. It's going to take a toll on him. Especially if he only got to front during the bad times. He now only knows how to take out his anger as a way to protect himself and his headmates.

I know I have a lot more to say about Mal, too. But it's getting late and I'm tired and blanking.

EXTRA

I suspect that after juvie, they were placed into therapy and some sort of foster care. Even if they aren't in an actively abusive home now, they wouldn't trust that it couldn't turn bad. Plus, they would want their own space and control after everything.

So, I'm gonna end it here for now. It's midnight and I'm eepy.

Tell me if I made any mistakes please!!! On canon info or on DID or whatever

If you want more details on any headcanon or have any questions or anything put it in my asks. I love receiving asks. I'll gladly rant to whoever is interested.

Though, for now, I'm tired. Night night.

Live, laugh, love Svetlana.

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 3 months

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reading roundup: February 2024

I literally completely forgot I needed to do this oopsie poopsie

WHAT DID I READ IN FEBRUARY!!! LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!!!!

Rouge (Mona Awad, 2023) - listen. there are some very cool ideas in this book, and it's definitely big creepy in places. some of the childhood flashbacks, in particular, had me shrieking with pure dread. but ultimately my issue with this book is the same as my issue with Awad's most well-known novel, Bunny: I would just... kind of like to understand what's going on? like even a little bit? at literally any time? you don't need to explain everything, but man, give me something. vibes alone do not make a meal, and I left this book not really feeling fed.

Our Share of Night (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell 2023) - god, this book makes you WORK FOR IT, but I'm glad I stuck it out. Enríquez has written a fucking doorstopper of intergenerational drama, about an Argentinian family deeply embroiled in a cult that worships something otherworldly and... hungry. perpetually sickly Juan is the Order's prized prophet, but after his wife's death is orchestrated by her own mother he becomes determined to get their young son, Gaspar, away from the Order's control by any means necessary. a wrenching read that swings through every kind of horror, swinging from the supernatural to Argentina's military dictatorship in the 70s to the AIDS epidemic in the 80s and 90s to an absolutely brutal ending.

Red String Theory (Lauren Kung Jessen, 2024) - some of you may recall that Lauren Kung Jessen wrote Lunar Love, one of my favorite romance novels of last year thanks to a zodiac-obsessed protagonist who's (unintentionally) giving major Rebecca Bunch pre-diagnosis in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend vibes. Red String Theory also has a female lead obsessed with mythological matchmaking, so I was really hoping for another unhinged queen, but please don't make my mistake: everyone in this book is devastatingly hinged, and the only real conflict is two characters who like each other from the jump repeatedly coming up with unsatisfying excuses for why they can't date each other. my least favorite was "we'll only in the same city for A YEAR," which is absolutely hogshit wild. "only a year." get out of here. I hate you guys.

Drinking from Graveyard Wells (Yvette Lisa Ndlovu, 2023) - a tiny short story debut by Ndlovu, a Zimbabwean sarungano. one of my very favorite genre of short story collections is "women having a bad time taken up to 11," and god does this deliver. Ndlovu writes about the many indignities heaped upon Zimbabwean women at home and abroad, weaving together tight stories about misogyny, war, poverty, and immigration with restless spirits, bored gods, ignored wise women, and unsatisfactory afterlives. there's a story about a near future in which diamond miners are purposefully set up and sacrificed to an angry underground god to create more diamonds that was so fucking clever, and the final story - the titular Drinking from Graveyard Wells - was just... an absolutely perfect short story. suspenseful and eerie and just enough of a hint of explanation to really chill you. chef's kiss.

It Happened One Summer (Tessa Bailey, 2021) - shout out to all of my patreon supporters who voted to make me read another Tessa Bailey book; you truly wish darkness and despair upon me. here's the insane thing about this book: if you just completely ignore the actual central romance, it's just a sweet book about an infinitely likeable young woman unplugging from her shallow socialite life and finding a new niche reviving her deceased father's bar in a tiny fishing town in Washington. it's like, you know, the plot of a pretty okay disney channel original movie? it's no Minute Men or High School Musical, but it's cute. it's a solid Dairy Girls or Princess Protection Program. but then there's the love interest, who's just a fucking tool all the way down. reader, I kept wishing he would get swept over the rigging of his own crab boat and die ingloriously at sea. this guy sucks so bad. also the sex scenes were identical to the ones in Unfortunately Yours and they did not taste any better reheated. fascinating treatise on cishetero gender norms, rancid romance. I wrote a whole thing about it on my patreon if you're into that kind of nastiness.

#bookblr #reading updates

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copias-sewer-rat · 9 months

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THEORY TIME ON WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO COPIA!

I just read the most amazing theory over on tiktok related to what is going to happen to Copia and it aligns to a lot of stuff I have been thinking about, let me share it with you. Check @another.emeritus on tiktok for their video on the topic!!! (I need to theorise I am sorry this is eating me alive).

So you know how this era (the Copia era) has been very focused on Nihil and Sister Imperator's relationship, with the YouTube videos and mvs, the release of Seven Inches of Satanic Panic etc... And the current album and tour make reference to Sister Imperator herself (we all know how Tobias loves his lyrics to sound like other words to add the double meaning) as in IMPERA/RE-IMPERA TOUR/Imperator. It is also very important to consider the meaning of the word 'impera' itself. In Spanish it means to prevail, but it comes from the latin word of rule and imperator is emperor in Latin (not suspicious at all).

On the one hand, we have the very obvious phonetic connection but then with have the RE in the tour. As a prefix 're' can mean two things: again or back (like repetition). What if this tour is the start of a new set of Papas outside of the Emeritus bloodline? A new reign. Maybe this is too niche but what if we had similar Papa's to the originals but slightly different? Like if you know JoJo's, this would be like what happens after Stone Ocean (spoiler: the universe resets and everyone is slightly different).

It could be that, but I like the other idea better, maybe it is a new bloodline. As @another.emeritus says in their video, maybe Copia will be the start of a new bloodline, the Imperator bloodline, with a new set of Papas. We know that there are no more Papas left, and I don't think Toblerone is going to pull the distant cousin card on us. This also allows me to talk about the meaning of the word Emeritus (this post is the proof that I have a degree in English philology lol). Emeritus refers to a ruler that it is no longer ruling, a retired one, not a dead one, a retired one. It obviously refers to Nihil, but what if the surname itself is going to be retired completly?

Also, that we got so much background to Imperator and Nihil's story, which almost feels like when in a movie they provide flashbacks so the audience gets attached to a character before killing them off. To me it feels that way. Maybe that story is going to repeat itself with Copia and someone that Imperator chooses, someone easy to manipulate. This last part would also connect to Darkness at the Heart of my Love... WHAT IF Copia has been in love this whole time, has had a lover and that song is for them? They cannot be together because of the tour but when summer ends, meaning the tour, they are going to reunite (another use of 're' lol). That would also explain the 'spicy' whispers of the song. Like the song itself is quite sad and all, but the background whispers are horny af ("pleasure me", "obsessively"...)

In summary, I don't think Copia is going to die, I think he is going to reign, be the start of a new Satanic Empire in the clergy and his progeny is going to continue with the Ghost project.

I don't know where to put Swiss' odd behaviour in this theory, but it has also been bugging me. If you think of anything please use this post to share, let us create a little debate to cope with the intrusive Copia dying thoughts.

Lots of love, SR.

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sitp-recs · 10 months

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Liv, meu anjo, I come here asking for some very niche shit, but I believe only you can help me. I'm atm weirdly obsessed/craving to read some drarry + Draco kissing/eating out women in the same fic. Do you have any bisexual Draco recs for me? I'm open to any kinds of open/infidelity/groupsex/whatevah fics. 😎 Love u xuxu

The way I gasped in delight seeing this ask! We are indeed taste twins, I love bi Drarry with all of my heart and imho we deserve more group sex/triad/threesome fics with ladies in this fandom 🌝 I think I’ve read more but in the interest of keeping this list Explicit I chose to highlight the fics below. I’ll do some extra digging and come back to update this list if I find more!

Most fics have Harry and Draco together in the sex scene, but a few feature Draco/female character on his own. I’ll also link Lipstick by @kbrick which doesn’t exactly fit the ask but it’s gonna be right up your alley: Harry/Ginny & Pansy/Draco becoming Ginsy and Drarry 😏 Enjoy my love!

Sharing by Alisanne (3.5k) - Harry/Draco/Pansy, endgame Drarry

Harry is tense, and his houseguests help him to relax.

Hermione Granger and the Day Ron Weasley Called her a Slut by ellebesea (4k) - Drarry, Harry/Draco/Hermione

To be honest, Harry had also found Hermione’s determined mingling with the Slytherins to be odd, but he knew better than to actually confront her about it. Besides, he isn’t exactly one to talk, is he? Not when one considers his newfound urge to show his dick off to Malfoy, anyway.

Flatmates by @unmistakablyoatmeal (5.5k) - Drarry + Romione, foursome

Hermione is just as bossy inside the bedroom as she is out of it. The reason Draco knows this is because Harry's walls are too thin.

Better Than by marguerite_26 (11k) - Hinny + Draco, triad

Ginny offers Harry something a little different for their anniversary.

The Waiting by @oknowkiss, art by @babooshkart (43k) - established Drarry in a foursome 😈

It’s been almost ten years since Draco Malfoy disappeared during a routine Curse Breaker training exercise. Harry, his partner in more ways than one, is determined to figure out why. As the past resurfaces and the present fades into confusion, Harry discovers the only thing more unreliable than memory is love.

Super Rich Kids by @thusspoketrish (81k) - Draco/OFC, endgame Drarry

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Eagles in Truro (Alt: That filthy one that snuck in a plot.) by @vukovich (284k) - Drarry & multiple ships

Hermione Granger just wants to get laid and maybe someday become Supreme Mugwump. Ronald Weasley just wants to build a dubiously-criminal empire and hug everybody. Harry Potter just wants... he's not sure, but it might be Malfoy. Draco Malfoy just wants to survive the post-war world. And snuggles.

#asks #tai 💜#Drarry reclist #Drarry + female characters #smutty recs

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windchimesgames · 5 months

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End of Year Recap + Plans for 2024

Hey everyone!

Belated Happy New Year to everyone! I know this is a very late end of year recap 😂Unfortunately, the past week ended up much busier for me than expected, so I could only get around to doing this now that things have calmed down a little.

This is a crosspost of a public post I made on Patreon a few days ago, so if you prefer the formatting there, you can read the post at this link:

PS: I do free monthly devlogs / posts there on Patreon, so consider joining the free tier of the Patreon even if you aren't interested in the paid tiers!

For those who'd rather read the post here, I'll leave the extraordinarily long ramble in a Read More cut below!

Let's start with a quick recap of the highlights / achievements accomplished in 2023!

Okay, this one may be slightly cheating. While Emberfate only launched on Steam in Jan 2023 so the 92 positive reviews came in in the year of 2023, it was up on Itch.io since mid 2022, so not all 383 Itch.io ratings came in in 2023.

Still, I'm pretty proud of these stats! Perhaps the numbers are nothing compared to some other amazing games' out there, but it's still something I'm proud of. It makes me happy that my silly experimental nostalgic little game struck a chord in so many players — much more than I expected given how niche the topic was!

Now, unfortunately, I could not get Emberfate's DLC for Potato's route out by end of 2023 like I had hoped. Porting the game to mobile also ended up much more difficult than I expected because of just how much of the UI I'm going to have to redesign — and hence, programming to be redone — if I wanted to make the game fit a small mobile screen. So both plans are going to have to be postponed to 2024.

The other notable highlight of 2023 is that both Lyrissa's and Kierdan's routes for Reanimation Scheme were released for beta access! That put the game at 3/5 routes complete, with a total of 431,786 words for the script.

I recruited a handful of beta testers to test the three completed routes a few months ago, and so far, the feedback has been positive overall. That's been a huge relief and lifted a massive weight off my chest — due to the controversial reception of the demo, I've been extremely anxious that the game would be hated by the players, and I've done so many rounds of editing and honestly perhaps somewhat unnecessary and obsessive rewriting of the script, but none of it felt good enough 😂 So hearing the positive comments has been a huge motivation / morale booster. Perhaps I should have done beta testing sooner… LOL

There are two more achievements unrelated to a specific game project that I'd like to mention:

2023 is the year that I became more interested in and better at Ren'Py programming! Most of it is thanks to my amazing programmer friend and Ren'Py wizard, Feniks (whom you may know as the programmer for Our Life series), who sparked my interest in programming and helped teach me a LOT. While I'm by no means a professional now at coding, I feel much more comfortable navigating around Ren'Py code and setting up what I need to in the backend of the games I'm developing, which opens up new doors for me for future projects in terms of what kind of features (big or small) that I may be able to include! Though the side effect of that is I looked back at the code I did for Reanimation Scheme from previous years and was immediately horrified by how ugly and inefficient it was. 😂I did redo the backend code of the Gallery and Achievements system a bit, but the rest will just have to stay for now.

I made quite a few new connections within the indie VN dev sphere in 2023! I made a shocking discovery that there's enough number of indie VN developers from Hong Kong to fill half a minibus, and I was lucky enough to connect with them and share our experiences and learn from each other! Due to new project commissions I took on for $$$ (real life financial needs suck), as well as a couple of small game jam projects I joined as programmer to buff up my programming portfolio, I also made some new VN dev friends unexpectedly. It's been really nice, because honestly, solo dev can be a really lonely and isolating endeavor sometimes. I'm super grateful for the new connections I found myself making in 2023!

Looking Ahead: 2024

Okay, that was a lot of rambling for the recap. More than I thought I would write. Now let's move forward to what the future will look like for this studio in 2024 and what goals I'm setting for myself this year!

Priority #1: Finishing Reanimation Scheme

Of course it's Reanimation Scheme. As mentioned above, we're currently at 3 out of 5 routes completed (sans partial voice acting). So the biggest goal for 2024 will be to get the game done. and out. Finally.

I won't be giving a concrete release date until we're like, literally in beta phase for all 5 routes, just so I won't have to announce a delay and let people down. But given the current progress and pace of work, I'd say probably around mid-year — maybe Q3 latest.

I'll be keeping up with the episodic updates of Reanimation Scheme's beta build on Patreon (and Kickstarter) from this month onwards, beginning with Jori's route and then followed by Sebastien's.

The remaining Kickstarter rewards may take a little longer — but ideally, all of them (artbook / lorebook / short stories collections, etc.) will be done by end of the year as well.

Priority #2: Potato's Route DLC for Emberfate

Potato, poor Potato. His DLC had to be put on the sidelines until Reanimation Scheme is done.

Half of the art has already been commissioned and completed by the amazing Remnantation — we're just missing his selfie CG & his MMO character sprite! So the next step would be the script and then the voice acting for the calls part. I won't be able to start on the script until mid-2024 earliest, but given the fact that his route won't be that long if it's parallel in length compared to the existing three routes, it probably won't take too long to do. Perhaps 2-3 months for the development process of the DLC?

I'll likely be releasing his DLC early on Patreon, potentially also episodically as it's completed, like I did with Emberfate. So if you're interested, keep an eye out for it when the time comes!

Something Secretly Brewing in the Shadows?

If you're pledged to this Patreon on $10 tier or above, you'll probably already know what I'm alluding to.

I won't be announcing or talking much about this for now, since I don't know when I'll be able to start working on this project properly (i.e. I need to meet my above two goals first). For all I know, it might end up being not a 2024 thing but a 2025 thing. So I'll only tease it slightly for now here.

Bonus Goal: Market, for the Love of God

If you follow Wind Chimes Games on either Twitter or Tumblr, you'll probably have noticed the sorry state of my social media. I… really do not like marketing or posting on social media. I never know what to post or say. I'm too unfunny and uncreative to meme or write humorous captions that get engagement. 😂It kind of feels like I'm shouting into the void, and nobody really cares about what I have to say on my projects when there's so many cooler and more interesting things out there. So I always try for a brief period of time, and then I give up 😭

This year though, I really really need to take marketing more seriously. With two releases planned for 2024, marketing is going to be important if I want the games to sell more than like 20 copies LOL

So I guess, uh, hold me to it and call me out if I don't start posting regularly after all 🥹

Conclusion

If you've made it this far on this post, thank you so much for listening to me ramble. 🥹 2024 is going to be a very busy year, but hopefully, a productive one that will end with me meeting all of the above listed goals.

Thank you so much for joining me on the wild and bumpy journey that was 2023, and I hope you'll stick around for the exciting things to come this year too! Here's to a great year ahead of all of us!

#otome #visual novel #interactive fiction #dating sim #otome game #otoge #if #vn #english otome #english otome game #indie otome #renpy #lgbtq #english visual novel #amare #reanimation scheme #emberfate #announcement

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bottlesforbeasts · 7 months

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The Old Web pt. 2: what's in a personal website?

The internet is full of possibilities.

This sticks out to you much more than usual when you start exploring the community of personal websites, many of which are hosted by neocities. With most social media, you have very limited customization of what your page looks like, what format of content you can post, and how users may interact with your posts. Personal websites change all of that and allow you to create something completely outside the box. You get to control every minute detail of how your website is viewed, from the fonts to the way the user's cursor looks.

For the sake of this post, a "personal website" is a website that someone created for their own personal use, not to promote a brand or sell a product. These websites are often made almost entirely from scratch using HTML and other coding languages. You can find many examples of these websites at this link. Warning: most of these websites are not meant to be viewed on mobile and might malfunction.

https://href.li/?https://neocities.org/browse

Personal websites are often a mishmash of different things the webmaster (the person who made the site) likes or finds important. Sometimes they focus on a single topic, a topic or fandom the webmaster is really into, or something they want to teach others about. While I browsed these websites I noticed a few tabs that often appear in the sidebars of these websites.

⋆｡°✩₊ °✦ ‧ ‧ ₊ ˚✧₊ °✦Blinkies!⋆｡°✩₊ °✦ ‧ ‧ ₊ ˚✧₊ °✦

Blinkies are little flashing images, usually with text, that are displayed on a website. There's a popular blinkie generator website called blinkies.cafe where you can make your own. Many personal websites have an entire page dedicated to listing all of the blinkies they've collected. It's hard to trace the origins of many because they can easily be downloaded and used without permission. Here are a few links to see some examples.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○Webrings●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

Webrings are described by webmaster neonaut as "curated link chains, or tiny community-shared directories where links are shared one at a time by clicking through to the next website." So rather than using google to find old web websites (impossible) many will link to other similar websites, so you can discover new websites by clicking on links, kind of like if you've ever fallen into a wikipedia rabbit hole.

Webrings are like little virtual clubs, and can have any theme from queer people who code to the art of being funky. Websites will link back to a centralized page, like the one shared above, or the websites will link directly to each other, having a buttons page with every other webring member's button.

●～●～●～●～●～Buttons●～●～●～●～●～●～

88x31 buttons are how a person gets from website to website on the old web. They look a lot like blinkies, something I eventually realized after frustratedly spam-clicking blinkies expecting them to link me somewhere. These are just as decorative, except they serve as a sort of advertisement to get someone interested in their website. They may have tiny images, colors, or fonts that match the aesthetic of their website. Buttons can have their own devoted section, or be a fixture on the side or bottom of a site.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: Shrines / Collections :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

A shrine is something you dedicate to something you love, perhaps a deity or ancestor you want to honor. A web shrine is a page or collection of pages dedicated to someone's interest, obsession, hyperfixation, or hobby. It tends to have lots of information about the topic, relevant pictures or videos, and the webmaster's own personal ties to the topic. A fandom blog could in a way be considered a shrine. There are tons of interesting, niche, and obscure shrines out there, such as this one about an old product called WebTV. There are also fairly common shrine topics like pokemon and hello kitty. Many shrines are combined with a collections page, where a webmaster shows off their collection of items. This can be a group of pictures of the actual items, or just pictures of ones that a person wishes they had.

⟡⋆⭒˚｡⋆✧˖°⁺˚Pets, dollz, and toyboxes˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚｡

Pets are little png images you put on your site because you like the way they look. They can be commissioned, pre-drawn and put up for paid "adoption" by artists, or just right-click-saved from directories like this one. A toybox is a page dedicated to storing all these pngs, many of which link back to where the webmaster found them. Dollz are sort of different. Dollz are kind of like a DIY dressup game, where artists create a base, clothing, hair, and other accessories, and you can mix and match in order to create your own unique look. This website goes into a bit more detail about the history of dollz.

📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎

This is just a quick summary of all the things I've most commonly seen on personal websites, you can learn more by browsing the websites I've linked or browsing through all the different websites neocities has to offer. One of my favorite websites on neocities is called Lizzie Smithson, a webcomic detailing the adventures of a stylish cat thief who lives in the city.

Neocities is great because it offers a more intimate glimpse into someone's mind than you could ever find on mainstream social media. People who create personal websites do so just because they want to. They're not looking for likes and followers and validation. Maybe part of the reason personal websites have been on decline so much is that making content for the hell of it isn't all that common anymore. Capitalism tells us that we should try to monetize everything we do for enjoyment, it's not enough to just create something because we feel like it. And if you can't monetize it, you should seek some sort of validation through interactions, numbers created to hack our brains into churning out content that people want to see, regardless of if it's something WE want to make. This system, this Web 2.0, is what spawned the Old Web Movement, which is dedicated to creating an online space free from monetization, free from algorithms, where people can be truly creative and make great things. The Old Web movement and manifesto is what part 3 will be all about.

#old web #the old web #webcore #blinkies #personal website #cybercore #old internet #internet history #internet culture #neocities

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foxymoxynoona · 2 years

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Lone Blue Egg (Pt 1)

Header and banners by the talented @awrkives

Summary: Jungkook is a simple man. He goes to work, he hangs out with friends, he worries about finding a mate to take home for his hometown breeding season. Maybe he spends a little more money on cam girls than is fiscally responsible but he has niche tastes. Maybe he feels a bit adrift, but he's a young penguin hybrid, supposedly in his prime, far from his crèche. At least he's good at one thing: taking care of his precious egg. A comfort egg, not a real egg, he's not a real penguin, just a man with penguin DNA and behavioral tendencies. Just like Yoongi isn't actually an owl, even if he does stay up all night and sometimes hoot to fuck with their roommates. But this is a real love story, even if a slightly odd one.

Penguin Hybrid Jungkook x Bird Female OC Book 1 in the Birdtan Series

CW/TAGS: humor, drama, angst, cringe, explicit sex, toy play/toy uh obsession?, oviposition, ice cubes, porn, cam girls and masturbation, oral (both), edging, semi-public shenanigans, mammoth condoms, specism, language, theft

Read on AO3 or below

MASTERLIST | Next

Jungkook slumped down in his seat at the cafe. The tables against the window and wall had all been taken when he got here today, so he’d had no choice but to claim a padded chair right in the middle of the cafe, right by the walkway. He felt exposed like this, like he stood out. He felt massive in the middle of this cafe, even though he’d taken his coat off and stuffed it between his legs and kept his sketchpad and Switch case in a neat pile on the small table. He kept his head down, neck burrowed into the thick neckline of his fuzzy grey sweater and hands pulled into his sleeves to cushion his palms from the heat of his cinnamon latte. He kept slipping one hand into the front pouch of his sweater to hold onto his comfort glass egg tucked safely inside, warmed by his body heat.

He knew there were people staring at him. That’s why he didn’t like to sit at these tables. At least if he was in his usual corner, no matter if someone stared at him, there was a whole case of bagged coffee beans and a newspaper stand and ideally even another table before anyone would actually be able to reach him or talk to him. He didn’t come to the cafe to be talked to, he came here to just exist around other people in a controlled manner before he went home. He actually really loved his engineering job and the healthcare company he worked for, but he spent most of his days alone in his cubicle, eavesdropping on the more exciting conversations around him. He’d go home to his room in the shared apartment in a large building and often as not, be alone again, unless Yoongi or Taehyung were around and up for something. Taehyung barely seemed to land these days though and Yoongi was going through a nocturnal phase.

Ok, maybe Jungkook was lonely. Nothing new. And he just wanted to get to exist around a group of people he could pretend he had a connection with for a while without actually having to interact in a way that broke the myth. They were just a bunch of cool people who all liked warm coffee beverages on a cool autumn day.

But the problem was, these weren’t his people. None of them. If they were, he wouldn’t be scrolling not one but two matchmaking apps. White Tie Suit was the more sophisticated of the two, promising to help young single penguins find their life partner. Dive worried less about the lifelong and more about the nightlong, a quick hookup app that made no promises about whether you’d find someone actually worth taking home for the Holidays. Jungkook had been active on both for a number of years he did not feel like recalling, and while he’d managed to eke some hookups out of them, certainly nothing lasting. Probably he’d have better luck if he lived closer to home but… well… this was home now. For now. Unless he just hit his limit for loneliness…

“Excuse me.” Jungkook looked up. He’d been so busy thumb-scrolling and lamenting his unreturned “right-flaps” that he hadn’t prepared himself for the approach. This was the problem when you were exposed on all sides, it was too hard to monitor threat vs. non-threat. He looked up and didn’t think this woman was a threat. But maybe she was.

“Hi,” Jungkook said as a cold sweat broke out down his spine. Oh. Wow. She was very pretty. He sat up in his chair, rolling his shoulders back, lifting his chin. He pitched his voice as low as he could. “Nice to meet you.”

She shirked her shoulders cutely and pointed, “Is that chair taken?”

“No, have a seat,” he quickly gestured. Fuck. Fuck, this was an unexpected turn.

“Thank you,” she said, and picked up the chair and carried it over to the other table. Where she sat down and promptly leaned in to kiss her girlfriend.

Jungkook hated it here.

He gave up on the cafe, bundled his things in his arms, and went to ask for a carry-out cup for his untouched drink. And an ice cube because it was too hot to drink.

His latte cup was empty by the time he got home, chugged a bit too quickly as he had to catch a crowded bus. Seal. He could smell it, somewhere further back, but couldn’t see over the heads. That made it worse, even though rationally he knew someone with seal DNA was not going to just fucking attack him in the middle of a crowded bus. Well, it could happen, but it was rare. Just like Jungkook wasn’t going to go bite someone with mackerel in their blood. The same, right? Except seals were always total assholes, unlike penguins.

At least the stop was just outside of his building, a birds-only housing development, though it didn’t mean asshole free. Jungkook hated this building, which was as noisy and active as a frat house at all hours of the day. Taehyung liked that, and it was the first place they’d found that had two single-room vacancies in a multi-unit, which was all either could afford at the time. Now Jungkook could afford significantly more but… what was the point? Sure, he could move into a single unit somewhere, or even buy his own place outright in the suburbs but that was pointless without a partner. In fact, buying the wrong place could cost him a partner, if he picked a place they didn’t like… Besides, he’d be alone in a bigger place which wasn’t necessarily any better than being packed in with people he didn’t like. He hadn’t liked everyone at home either, even when they were all penguins. Maybe he just didn’t fit anywhere...

“Hey, chickie,” Chad greeted the second Jungkook walked through the door. Chad. He was a fucking blue-jay named Chad, how gross could you get? Jungkook ignored him and separated the pieces of his coffee cup into the sorted bins. He could see the beer bottles in one had not been rinsed out. “You cooking dinner tonight?”

“Not for you,” Jungkook said, stepping around him.

“It’s your turn.”

“We don’t take turns cooking.”

“It’s his turn, right?” Chad called to Steven.

“Yep.”

“You’re a seagull, you don’t say anything but yep,” Jungkook retorted.

“Aw, chickie’s feelings are hurt?”

Jungkook bit back the retort, well aware what they were trying to get him to say, what he had accidentally snapped one time and sealed his fate: I’m not a chick, I’m a cock. It was true. He was an adult.

Chad and Steven laughed anyway. They knew he’d thought it. He might as well have said it.

“Hey fuck off, make your own food,” Yoongi said, shuffling right between them. He opened the fridge and blinked at the light before closing it and looking at the counter.

“It’s his turn,” Chad frowned. Hurt. Because it hurt when Yoongi told you to fuck off, even if you were a bluejay named Chad. The soup he made when you were sick was just too healing, even Chad and Steven respected him. Didn’t hurt that barn owls had been known to eat even adult blue-jays. Not the people obviously, and yet Taehyung had an actual tally on the whiteboard in his room for how many times Yoongi managed to unintentionally sneak up on Chad and make him squeak or drop whatever he was holding.

“It’s not--” Jungkook began but Yoongi interrupted, “It’s fine, I’ll cook. Transfer me money,” he told Chad and Steven. “Ok day at work?” he asked Jungkook. It flattered him, to be asked.

“It was ok,” he mumbled. Chad and Steven had whipped out their phones, willing to pay Yoongi for the service they demanded from Jungkook. They couldn’t actually bully him around; he didn’t do what they said ever. If it came to blows he was definitely faster and stronger than both of them. He just didn’t want it to come to blows. He didn’t feel like fighting anyone. He was tired. He just wanted things to be easy and quiet.

“I’ll cook with you,” he said to Yoongi. “Let me put my stuff down. Did you sleep all day?”

“Yeah. I’ll keep it down tonight,” he promised. The late-night music never bothered Jungkook though and he brushed it off. Maybe it would be different if Yoongi sucked, but his compositions were always incredible. Jungkook actually preferred he use the speakers if he was working on the keyboard, so he could hear the actual music instead of just the keys clicking.

“I don’t care, hyung. I’ll cook with you and you can tell me what you’re working on.”

“Yeah sure,” Yoongi said. “Get my sauce basket.” Jungkook was flattered to be asked this as well, to even be entrusted with its location in his room. The sauce basket was kept there, instead of the kitchen, to prevent late night cooking attempts by Chad and Steven who did not and should not cook, especially with Yoongi’s high end materials.

Cooking with Yoongi was a definite improvement to his day. He didn’t even totally hate eating with Chad and Steven, even though Steven constantly stole things from his plate unasked. Chad, much more possessive with his plate, nearly stabbed Steven with a fork when he did it to him, so that was exciting.

Taehyung got home in time to steal the last bit of food and bully Chad and Steven into helping with the dishes. It left Jungkook free to escape, now maxed out with people interactions for the day. There. He’d been social. Maybe not social with the kind of people who were easy, but it did mean that now he appreciated closing his bedroom door with the world outside.

Besides, he’d gotten a phone alert and didn’t want to be too late.

His hands fumbled with anticipatory energy as he quickly lowered his blinds and locked the door and switched to the rippling blue LEDs placed around the room. For a moment he paused and just let out the deep breath he’d held all day. Maybe it was silly how quickly just lights could relax him but he felt happily submerged in peace here.

Right, the appointment. He set his glass egg carefully in a little crate he had for it on his desk. He nearly dropped his laptop in his haste to grab it from his nightstand and clear a space also on his desk. He almost used the desktop but no, he wanted the flexibility to move to the bed if things went well. He fired it up and barely remembered to plug his headphones in before navigating to the site link.

“... so I promised to do that because it’s something highly requested,” PattyPussy25 said into the camera. She sat cross-legged on her bed, wearing an incredibly sexy flowy black lingerie set. The camera quality wasn’t the best but Patty’s personality was so cute and quirky, Jungkook still liked her. He did! He admitted it, even though she was a platypus. It wasn’t like she actually looked like a platypus. Or like genetic preferences could pick up on the species gap through a fucking computer screen.

He used to only watch penguin girls. It just seemed the natural choice since, you know, that’s what he was looking for in life. Hoping for. Replacing with fantasy until he could find the real thing. But there weren’t many of them. The one he liked the best had found a mate and stopped streaming, and the one he liked second best… well, he still watched her, but when he’d bought her the gift through her support shop, she’d disappointed him.

So he’d branched out, first to other birds, and now even to other animals. It wasn’t a big deal, right? There were totally people who mated outside their species and it wasn’t illegal or anything, just a little odd. Like why couldn’t you find a mate within your own species? You tended to see it more with hybrids who weren’t lifelong monogamous. You were really signing yourself up for some culture shock maybe if you were going to be lifelong with someone totally different than you and your family.

But he was a penguin. Serial monogamous, not lifelong monogamous. Honestly he couldn’t really imagine committing to anyone for that long for real, though he had his romantic dreams like anyone else. If you could at least find a nice long for right now, why not dream it would be so good you were happy with it for life?

When Adelaide12 disappointed him with the toy though, he began clicking through other channels. Too many cat girls and dog girls and dolphin girls but it was almost nicer to be interested in a more niche space to give him some direction in a sea of hot women. Quickly and unsurprisingly, he realized the mainstream mammals wouldn’t get it. Egg laying hybrids would come through for him, even if Adelaide12 hadn’t.

HornyTori was the first camgirl he’d actually subscribed to for real. She was one of the most popular on the site, the go-to lizard girl, and while at first he’d been shocked by her crests and blunt demeanor, he’d quickly realized why she was so popular. Hot, funny, cool, and had no problem shutting down bullshit from her viewers. If only Jungkook had understood sooner that was really her thing, it would have saved him from the way she’d mocked the message he’d attached to the gift he sent her through her support store. He’d had plenty of humiliating moments in his life. He was not interested in sponsoring one, certainly not unexpectedly when he was already sitting dick out and lubed, hopeful she’d enjoy his gift. You’re a penguin? You’re weird. Probably some chubby guy in your mom’s basement, huh? Ironically he probably would have had an easier time meeting a penguin woman if he was!

OK. HornyTori was in the past. So he tried SoftShellLover, a pretty and shy turtle whose slow and sensual ways made him cum embarrassingly hard, so hard he wouldn’t even talk to his friends about it because what if he had a thing for turtles? She appreciated the gift, but now he was too scared to add any notes, and she didn’t take initiative and after that, she didn’t do it for him anymore. Then he tried GatorSnatchedAngel, whose tattoos and piercings kept him sweaty for days. She seemed like she’d be game for anything, but his vague suggestion was too vague. When he followed up, trying to encourage her more in the right direction, she blocked him. Which of course made him feel like a shitty creep but he wasn’t a shitty creep!

So now it was down to PattyPussy25. Patty the platypus did all sorts of niche things. Really niche, like lactation and venom milking, and her partially webbed hands and feet came up in her videos a lot. None of these particularly appealed to Jungkook but she was sexy and sultry and kind of weird like him, so he liked her. He was open minded! Couldn’t other people be?

“Now I got a special gift from my support store this week and it arrived in the mail yesterday.” Fuck this was it! Jungkook’s hands shook. She lifted the velvet pouch into view and Jungkook’s cock twitched. He could hardly look at the screen and glanced around his desk instead.

Ah, blue egg was right in view, nestled in its lined storage box. Oops. He shifted the laptop so blue egg was hidden behind it, out of view. He didn’t want to be reminded of that right now, not when Patty untied the pouch and let the gift --his gift-- fall into her hand.

“This is a nice one,” she said, slanting her hands towards the camera. It almost rolled out of her palm and Jungkook’s heart leapt but she caught it and laughed. “Oops. I did already open this earlier today so I could clean it --always clean your toys before use and after use, remember that! And let me tell you, this one is so nice. It has a velvety texture and the color is this really pretty pink.”

Jungkook was sweating, watching her describe his gift so appreciatively. Now he couldn’t tear his gaze from the screen as he fumbled with his sweatpants, sliding them down his ass, all the way to the floor. His hand patted around the desk until he found the drawers beneath, the bottle of lube and box of tissues stowed inside.

“Listen to that buzz,” Patty grinned, turning it on and holding it near the camera. She was so close, Jungkook could see the camera lights reflecting in her eyes, and the shine of her teeth, and the way her nipples were straining against the flimsy gauze of her lingerie. It must be cold in her room. That surprised him. She liked the cold? She didn’t mind that? His cock twitched again, actually lifted off his thigh, as he thought of licking down and around those pebbled, cold nipples.

Patty pressed the toy to her nose and giggled, “Oh yeah, that’s going to feel good. Like I said, this is a good egg. Thank you so much, EggsandTails97. I’m really going to enjoy this, I can tell, and I hope you enjoy watching me make myself cum with your generous gift.” As she said it, she rolled the egg down her jaw and down her neck and across her collarbone.

Fuck. Fuck fuck. Jungkook slapped the lube pump and dropped his hand to stroke his cock, fondling his balls with the other as she shuffled back from the camera. At first she sat curl-legged on her bed, letting the egg roll and buzz across her tits. She pressed it to each nipple in turn and made this delicious noise, a combination of a moan and a giggle. Jungkook swallowed and squeezed the head of his cock almost painfully hard. His mouth was dry, he was so excited. She was going to do it. Patty the platypus understood what he wanted, from his note: Show me what a platypus does with an egg.

Jungkook’s hand squeezed and snapped more quickly along his length as the egg traveled lower. She slipped a strap off her shoulder, letting one breast free, but even that couldn’t distract him from the path of the egg as she spread her legs. Oh fuck, what if she put it in under her underwear? And just left it there for a while?

“Come on,” he mumbled, palm slick along his length.

“All right all you naughty boys, I’ll show you what a platypus does with an egg.”

Jungkook coughed. He actually choked on his own saliva. Quickly he squeezed the base of his dick, desperate not to cum too soon. This wasn’t a recording, he wouldn’t be able to watch it again later and fully enjoy the sweet moment. The ephemeral nature of these videos was a thing he’d come to appreciate about them.

“I’m so wet right now and I haven’t even touched my pussy yet,” Patty grinned, biting her thick lower lip. “I’m already clenching… it’s so hard to go slow but I want to take my time and enjoy this with you.” She gasped when the egg touched her panties; her shoulders jerked as she giggled about how strong it was. Jungkook leaned in closer, watching every moment, trying to ignore the wet sound of his own hand despite his headphones. He wished she was louder, there was that. She tended to be chill but if she would do this for him, he’d never complain again--

Her panties came off. Ok, that was ok. Jungkook tried to slow down but couldn’t because her own gasps and moans were picking up.

“Come on,” he muttered. “Put it in. Put it in, Patty. Let me see that egg stretch your pussy…”

She came. No egg in the pussy, just buzzing merrily against her clit. She was a little louder than usual; maybe she really did enjoy it. But Jungkook was crestfallen. He closed his eyes and imagined what he’d wanted to see so he could finish, and cumming was… satisfactory. Cumming was never bad.

But yet another disappointment left him empty and sullen afterwards. He turned her video off without listening to her further, just closed his laptop. He frowned, faced with his little comfort egg again.

“I’m never going to find a mate,” he lamented, glancing down at his spent, soft dick, as if it were to blame. “I can’t even find a woman who knows where to put a fucking egg!”

His blue egg said nothing as he tucked it into the pocket of his sweatpants, once he’d cleaned up. He always slept with it close, but particularly tonight, after yet another disappointment. He pulled it out of his pocket and rolled over so that it was trapped under his stomach, a little uncomfortable as a reminder, as a guarantee it was safely there. Only then did he finally fall asleep.

The bar near his office building was crowded on a Tuesday night. Stupidly so. But Namjoon had made clear he needed a hang time without directly asking for a hang time and while also making clear no one could come to his place because his sister was “in a mood” --though Jungkook had a secret suspicion Namjoon just didn’t want Taehyung or Jungkook around his sister because she was hot and did not hide she found both of them so as well. Jungkook was flattered to be in the same company as Taehyung.

Once they were all four seated around a high-top near the cracked windows though, it became clear the true reason for Namjoon’s huddle call: he wanted to tattle on Taehyung.

It started innocently enough: “Ok, I need advice,” he said, holding a chip piled with avocado dipping sauce. Taehyung leaned in, Yoongi leaned back, Jungkook just ate food, already unsure what advice he could possibly give the golden eagle. If he had shoulders and height like that, he’d never need advice from anyone.

“Oh is this about that girl you met Saturday?” Taehyung asked.

“Which girl?” Namjoon asked, quickly lowering his chip. “The one who was the whole reason I brought you to that party to wingman for me for? Or the one I was left with after you made off with the first one?”

There it was. Yoongi and Jungkook said nothing but shifted their gaze to Taehyung, who cried,

“No! I mean, yes, I did wingman for you! But she was a marmot!”

“So?”

Yoongi grimaced, “Ah. Her instincts were strong about it?”

“Yes,” Taehyung nodded. “She was super cute and sweet and absolutely terrified when Namjoon approached her. But her friend liked hyung much more so he-- so you told me the marmot woman was all clear.”

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t mean you should just go for it. I work with that woman!”

“So?” Taehyung argued.

Jungkook, mouth full of crackers, asked, “Wait, she was scared of hyung but not of you?”

He shouldn’t have asked, Taehyung was all too happy to remind him, “Peregrine falcons mostly eat other birds. Rarely marmots. Unlike me, I’ll eat anything.” He winked as he said it, pleased with his dirty joke.

“I was fully prepared to eat her in a sexual way,” Namjoon sighed.

“She just didn’t like your vibes, that’s all. It’s not a you problem, hyung, you’re great. Didn’t you take that other woman home? She didn’t mind your vibes.”

“And what vibes are those?” Namjoon asked, leaning forward on the table. The thunk of his big arms was enough to rattle their drinks. Granted, it was because of a loose leg on the pedestal table but the timing of it was perfect. Namjoon sighed and covered his face. “I’m not threatening!”

“Not all women know about eagles. You have a bit of a reputation. You’re large, you’re fierce, you’re intelligent,” Yoongi pointed out.

“Yeah, hyung. You’re a catch. You instill fear and respect,” Taehyung added. Jungkook arched his eyebrow at Taehyung. He was really laying the apology on thick.

“You really took her home with you?” he asked Taehyung.

“Ok look--”

“He did!” Namjoon sighed. “And whatever happened, she wouldn’t even look me in the eye today.”

“Nothing bad happened,” Taehyung quickly defended. “We just fucked.”

“Uh huh.”

Yoongi shook his head and gave Jungkook a look, but he wasn’t sure what the look was supposed to mean.

“What are you wanting advice about, hyung?” Jungkook tried. “You met another woman there?”

“Yeah I did and she’s great but… ah, it’s the same problem as always. She thought I didn’t enjoy it… so now the text messages are awkward.”

“You have to let the woman know you’re enjoying it,” Yoongi said. “Tell her you did.”

“I did tell her that! But she thought I was too quiet like they always do… I thought a marmot wouldn’t mind me being quiet, she might see it as a sign of respect.”

“She wasn’t quiet and didn’t mind me not being quiet either…” Taehyung mumbled into his Coke. Namjoon gave him a stare lacking all amusement. Taehyung sighed, “I mean it, it’s nothing wrong with you. If I had to choose between us, I’d choose you. I’m just faster and looser and less threatening, that’s all it was. But if you’re that bothered by it, I’ll call her after all and push her to give you a chance.”

“You weren’t even going to call her?” Jungkook asked, not surprised. “Fast” was a good way to describe all of Taehyung’s relationships with members of the opposite sex.

“Nah, she was fun but she’s not like the one. She knew that too, she was just looking for fun. Seriously, hyung, do you want me to--”

“No,” Namjoon sighed. “I don’t want you to beg a woman for me.”

Yoongi nodded, “If you’re going to really help him, you should have just invited him along.” Even as he said it, he couldn’t keep a straight face, already predicting Namjoon’s outrage.

“Yeah, why not? Thanks, great advice for meeting my mate, great advice from an owl who’s been circling his mate for how long now? And still won’t--”

“I knew you were going to bring her up,” Yoongi sighed. “I told you, it’s not like that. She’s not interested…”

But Jungkook was quick to agree, “She is interested, hyung, she’s just waiting for you to be direct.”

“Wait, hyung, did you really wonder if a marmot was going to be your mate?” Taehyung asked, stopping the derailment and even putting his hand on Namjoon’s arm.

“I… well… I don’t know!” Namjoon answered, instantly flustered. Which he had good reason to be; even though interspecies relationships weren’t unheard of, they were even more rare among direct food chain links. Sure, people looked like people and acted like people and they weren’t walking around murdering and eating other people who just happened to have the DNA threads of their own hybrid threads’ prey. But while the DNA implants several generations ago had ended the outbreak, they had left these shadows of instinct. In some people, very strong shadows.

Jungkook slid his hand beneath the table to check his egg nestled securely in the pocket of his sweatpants, right next to his phone. He twisted it until he could feel the scratch of the etching under the pad of his thumb.

“I feel like shit,” Taehyung fronwed. “I’m not heckling you about a marmot, hyung, I just didn’t realize it was that serious. I never would have taken her home. I asked you first!”

Now Namjoon backtracked, “Well, maybe it’s-- I don’t mean it’s that serious, just that… ah, it’s just awkward now because I work with her and if you don’t call her, maybe she’ll ask me about it.”

“If she does then you can swoop in --eh, pun not intended,” Yoongi suggested.

Jungkook pulled the egg out of his pocket and rolled it absent-mindedly in his hands. The weight of it was always comforting to toss if he was nervous, but right now he was just slightly buzzed and restless.

“What party was this?” he asked them. He had known Taehyung was out Saturday night but not where. He also knew Yoongi had been out with his “not yet his mate” friend. But he’d been sitting at home, so if Namjoon and Taehyung had been to a party--

“It was a house-warming party,” Namjoon told him. “Someone in my branch got a new place with their mate and invited the department… not my department but I went anyway… that sounds creepier than I mean. A lot of people crashed. It’s tradition.”

“I’ll go next time with you. I can wingman for you and I won’t take any of the women you like home to fuck,” Jungkook offered. The corners of his lips twitched, trying not to smile as Taehyung glared.

The glare lasted only a moment before Taehyung sighed, “You should fuck them. You would feel so much better if you fucked one! You move at a glacial place sexually, Kook.”

“I’ve fucked women before,” he defended. “I just don’t divebomb them like you do.”

“They like it.”

But Namjoon gave Jungkook an apologetic look and said, “I only didn’t ask you because I know you don’t like big noisy parties. Besides, we’re both too slow with women. I’ll admit it. Aren’t we? But I thought Taehyung could help me-- you helped both of them meet women!”

Jungkook grimaced and tucked the egg back into his pocket. Yes, Taehyung had helped him meet women before. He was a good friend and he wanted to help, but he just had a very different approach. Jungkook really wanted to meet his mate. It was very important to him to meet his mate and spend as little of his life as possible flailing about with other women who might be willing to fuck once or twice but ultimately didn’t really get him or want him. He wanted someone to take home.

“Yeah but you’re putting too much pressure on yourself,” Taehyung explained. “I could only help them when they relaxed too. Don’t act like I don’t want to find a life mate too. Peregrine falcons mate for life! Golden eagles and penguins do not always.” He pointed at the two of them. “So don’t give me shit just because I’m enjoying my time until I meet the one. When I do, she will be my entire world. Until then… I’m enjoying myself. You both are too busy worrying about it. Just relax and have fun. You’ll meet someone when you least expect it.”

To Jungkook’s surprise, Namjoon turned to him and Yoongi and asked, “How did you relax about it? Right now I’m feeling pretty sure I’m going to die alone.”

Yoongi nodded, “I just accept I might die alone. If you come to terms with it, it’s not so bad.”

“Just make your move,” Taehyung sighed dramatically.

“It’s… complicated…”

“What about you?” Namjoon asked Jungkook.

“I got just the right amount of drunk,” Jungkook admitted. “And… decided my way wasn’t working so I should try Taehyungie-hyung’s way. I didn’t meet any penguins that way but I did get to have sex…”

“Will you only wind up with a penguin?” Yoongi asked him. He’d asked this before too, when they’d first started to be friends after moving in together. It was just coincidence, they hadn’t known each other, Yoongi had just accepted the placement by the building, but he’d gotten along well with Taehyung and Jungkook, and introduced them to his friend Namjoon, and now two years had gone by. And all of them were still without mates.

Jungkook frowned, “You make that sound like a bad thing. I’m not specist. If I met someone else --I’m open,” he insisted and decided to believe it. “I just think a penguin has a better chance of understanding… me. And my family.”

“Can’t your family introduce you to someone?” Namjoon asked.

“No,” Jungkook said simply. It was a stupid answer, because often penguin families did set their kids up, his situation was just... He felt Taehyung’s gaze and received a friendly soft smile when he looked up.

Taehyung corroborated, “Yeah, they won’t help him. But you’ll meet someone and you’ll meet someone and I’ll meet someone and Yoongi-hyung will stop kicking tires. We’re young and we all have love ahead of us!”

“Spoken like someone who got laid recently,” Yoongi muttered.

“I wouldn’t know,” Jungkook sighed. He turned his head as several people in the crowded restaurant pushed against his back, a woman trying to squeeze between his and another table.

“Sorry,” she murmured and was gone. Jungkook frowned. Damn, he was so touch starved that a woman touching his back really made him tingly like that? Pathetic.

“Take me next time you go,” he said. “I want to meet people too. I’m sitting at home too much.”

“Hand getting sore?”

“Shut up, hyung.”

“Someone’s grumpy…”

Conversation did in fact move away from women --or the lack thereof. It had been a week, so there were other things to share. New music, funny videos, fall events, community gossip. Yoongi’s orchestra was gearing up for a performance they’d all go to; he’d even composed one of the songs being performed. Namjoon was pretty sure his sister had a threesome and her partners ate his entire box of cereal afterwards. Taehyung’s mom had sent him a care package and he was positive Steven had broken into it; he was debating putting laxatives in one and leaving it out as a trap. Jungkook was very glad he’d been warned.

But eventually the pub was closing and they all had work tomorrow, including Yoongi with his day rehearsals.

“You sure you can make it?” Namjoon teased him as they strolled out the front doors, feeling pretty good a couple drinks in.

Yoongi glared, “I’m not actually nocturnal. I just do my best work at night.”

“You’re an owl! It would be understandable!”

“Barn owls are only nocturnal if they live somewhere they might get swarmed if they hunt during the day,” Yoongi scoffed. “Learn outside your own species, Namjoonie.”

“Ouch! I learn all about my friends’ species!”

“Do you ever wonder if we make it all mean more than it does by expecting it to mean more?” Jungkook asked. The alcohol had warmed his blood and he was feeling pretty good right now.

Taehyung slung his arm over his shoulder and teased, “Ah, deep thinker Jungkookie, I like where your brain goes on a Tuesday night.”

“Thanks, hyung, I--” Jungkook broke off. He immediately stopped walking. His hand groped around his pocket, as if it was deep enough the egg could possibly be hiding in there. It wasn’t. He checked his other pocket; he nearly dropped his phone in his haste to check his shirt and underwear and hair, stupid with panic.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asked.

“My egg,” he said. “My egg is gone.”

“Your egg--”

“It’s gone,” he said, voice cracking.

Namjoon touched his shoulder, “No, maybe you left it at the table? Did you have it here in the restaurant?”

“Are you sure you didn’t leave it at home?” Yoongi asked.

“I never leave it at home.”

“Ok ok let’s go check the table,” Namjoon insisted and doubled back. Jungkook hurried after him, ignoring the hostess who told them they were closed.

“He left something at the table,” Yoongi explained in the background while Jungkook sniffed around the table. Everything was cleared away, some servers were starting to move chairs and sweep around them.

“It’s not here,” Jungkook cried, checking over and under and around. “It was here, I had it here!”

“I don’t remember seeing it,” Taehyung offered.

“What if they threw it away?”

“Excuse me,” Yoongi called, chasing after one of the busboys. Jungkook could barely make out his questions as noise buzzed in his ears. Gone, his egg was gone, it was lost, if it wasn’t here it could be dropped in a gutter or in a pile of garbage. Someone might have picked it up or thrown it away. He might never see it again.

“Let’s go check at home,” Taehyung said, grabbing his arm. “I don’t think you even had it here, I don’t remember seeing it.”

“I always have it,” Jungkook mumbled. He felt himself shutting down.

“I’ll check around outside here,” Namjoon offered. “Call me if you find it at home.”

“You walked here right? Let’s look on the way,” Yoongi suggested. It was a good idea. Jungkook felt his energy lift again. Maybe they’d find it. It was just a little blue egg, not of value to anyone except himself. Maybe if someone saw it, they’d just keep walking. Maybe they’d just ignore it, and it would just stay sitting there, and if Jungkook didn’t find it soon, it would still be sitting there when winter set in. The cold would make the glass crack.

“Don’t worry, we’ll find your egg,” Taehyung assured him, looking on the right side of the sidewalk while Yoongi searched the left. Jungkook checked both sides after them, certain they might miss the egg. They wouldn’t look with the same eyes he would. If anyone found his precious egg it would have to be him.

“I’m sure it’s at home in its little box this whole time and we’re worried for nothing,” Yoongi agreed. Jungkook appreciated the “we.” He appreciated they were looking. But he couldn’t say anything yet because panic pitched him too close to crying. His little egg, lost… it was unthinkable.

Jungkook had barely slept. It had been hard work for Yoongi and Taehyung to keep him from wandering out into the night to search the streets completely. Instead he’d torn apart his room and then the rest of the apartment. Chad had laughed about it and Jungkook had thrown himself bodily at the guy, who after getting knocked into the wall by Jungkook and shoved towards his room by Yoongi, decided to go into it and shut the door.

The only thing that got Jungkook moving for work in the morning was the opportunity to scour his path and the building. He almost always walked, so he did this time too after going over the lobby of his building and all around the front path again. Nothing. So he walked slowly to work, head down, gaze fixated on the path, the gutter, the buildings. He peered into every trash can in case someone had found it and not understood the significance, but of course if someone had thrown it away yesterday, it could be gone--

He couldn’t even think it. When he reached his building, he took every possible path he could have taken. He asked at the security desk. He took each elevator, not caring he looked like a crazy person. He took every path he might have taken on his floor and practically turned his desk over, looking anywhere it might have rolled. Nothing.

Belatedly he remembered that yesterday, out of the ordinary, he had gone to the cafe kiosk in the back atrium of the building! He left his desk, ignoring a coworker who called out to him, probably wondering why he’d been at work for over an hour now and accomplished nothing. Whatever, he’d work late, he just needed to find his egg!

Downstairs, he took a quick right out of the elevators, rounded the corner to the elevator and then BAM. Barrelled right into someone. Because he’d been head down, rushing forward, the other person went flying, bag hitting the ground with a thunk and spilling out.

“Hey!” a female voice cried.

“Sorry, I’m in a hurry.” He stepped over her stuff and made it a couple yards before catching himself. Wait. Wait wait he wasn’t the sort of person who just body-slammed strangers in the hall and left them to sort themselves out.

“Fuck,” he grumbled and spun. “Sorry…”

The woman had already turned her back to him, trying to shovel a ton of shit back into the big bag she’d been carrying. There was so much stuff, he didn’t understand how it actually fit in there.

“What’s wrong with you?” she demanded when he dropped down beside her and began gathering the papers that had scattered. “You’re built like a tank! You can’t just go barrelling through the hallways. I thought you’d be soft under those sweaters you wear but you’re made of fucking bricks!”

“Huh?” He paused and looked at her, too confused now to be offended about her pointing out he wasn’t soft. Did he know this woman? Her long, very curly dark hair seemed like something he would remember, or at least the long, dangly gold coin earrings that shook as she moved. She had a freckle right above her eyebrow and even though her shit was dumped out all over the ground, she was smiling. She had very straight, white teeth.

“I’m Rana?” she said, but like a question, like he ought to know this already.

“Do I… know you?”

“Oh. Well, no, but I work in this building too.”

“Lots of people work in this building…”

“Damn, knocking me down twice, huh?”

“Sorry, I’m in a hurry--”

“Yeah, I noticed,” she laughed. “Why? What’s the emergency?”

“I’m looking for something,” he mumbled, waddling in a crouch to grab the last few papers. He didn’t bother even glancing at the printing on them, some kind of report; he couldn’t have cared less.

“I’m good at finding things,” she said, sitting up like he’d said some magic word. “What are you looking for? I can help.”

“What?” he snapped. He wasn’t listening to her. He thrust the papers at her.

“I can help you, I’m really good at finding things. What is it?”

But in the face of this rather pretty woman, he found himself shy to admit he had been so careless with something so important. She wouldn’t understand; no one ever did. None of his hyungs had a special item like it that they needed to carry around and always have within reach to feel ok. Not unless you counted their phones. This weird woman who didn’t know him but thought he knew her wasn’t any different.

“I don’t need your help,” he said, standing quickly. “Watch where you’re going.”

“What? You ran into me!”

He didn’t bother looking back at her. Just resumed his frantic pace towards the coffee kiosks. He checked on and around it. He asked the employee. He checked all around the benches and walkways and rectangular planters and in among the leaves, just in case someone had seen it and done the semi-kind thing of tucking it safely where it wouldn’t get kicked.

No egg.

Jungkook slumped down on a bench and did his best not to cry.

***

Jungkook did not get any work done that day. He needed to work. He could get away with a couple of days of being useless like this but eventually his boss --who didn’t really understand anything-- would realize he wasn’t working. He’d spent his day running through mental checklists of where else he could search.

But around the time he could clock out, he realized he had to accept it. What could he do? Someone had found his precious egg and put it in a trash can. There was nothing he could do about that. Nothing! He should have prevented it in the first place but he hadn’t and now his egg was in the trash. Like father, like son.

There was no reason to stay at work though. His day was over. Not that there was anything worth going home for but he went through the motions, packing his bag, turning off his computer that had already fallen asleep because he wasn’t bothering it. He nodded in response to what he suspected were goodbyes and goodnights from coworkers but he didn’t look at them or really listen to confirm.

The lobby was crowded with people from so many companies in the multi-story building heading out at once. Jungkook moved through them in a fog, barely noticing when he bumped or knocked into people. He slammed his shoulder painfully on the door heading out but didn’t let that stop him.

It meant he also didn’t know how long someone had been yelling for him until his arm was grabbed and he was wrenched to a stop.

“Hey!”

He blinked at the woman from earlier.

“I was yelling for you.”

“I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t tell me your name earlier so I had to be generic. But look, I--”

“I’m going home. Bye.”

He turned away but she grabbed his arm and this time shoved her hand against his stomach.

She was holding his egg.

His egg!

“My egg!” he gasped, snatching it out of her hand. It was his egg, the very one, not a replacement. It had that familiar little chip on the bottom, the one he ran his finger over sometimes when he was thinking really hard about something. The swirly blue glass had every wave and curve that he remembered. The etching was there, every letter familiar when he dragged his thumbnail across. The egg was even warm, like she’d carried it tucked in her jacket pocket, just like he did.

“Yeah, I found it,” she said. “I--”

“Where did you find it?” he demanded. “Where was it?”

“It was in the stairwell.”

“I never went in the stairwell,” he said, holding it pressed under his chin as he tried to figure it out. Maybe someone had kicked it? Or it had rolled? But someone would have had to open the door at the same time. And it was heavy; if you kicked it, you’d feel it. Forgetting himself, he rolled it up his chin and smushed it against his mouth until his teeth clicked against the glass.

“What’s the deal with that egg anyway?” the woman asked. “What’s special about it?”

Immediately his shoulders stiffened. His gaze slid to her, remembering she was there. She had, in fact, found his egg and returned it to him. Which meant it was good he’d bumped into her earlier because if he hadn’t, she wouldn’t have known the egg was his and brought it back to him. Maybe she would have thrown it away! Quickly at the thought he shoved the egg down into his pocket, but kept his fingers wrapped tight around it, proving to them both that the egg was safe and secure and back where it belonged. He hadn’t even seen any new nicks or scratches but he’d check for sure once he got home.

“It’s just one of those things, huh?”

He stared at her, trying to follow what she’d said, but he was still reeling from the relief of it all. Fuck. Fuck what a terrifying almost-twenty four hours this had been. But it was ok! He had his egg back! Thank fuck!

“A man of few words, huh?”

“Thank you,” he recalled himself enough to say. “For… finding it.”

She gave him a bright smile and reminded him, “I told you I’m good at finding things.” He didn’t know what else to say. He almost couldn’t move, he was so dizzy with relief. He inched his fingers all over the egg but didn’t feel any new damage. He needed to get home and look, to reassure himself this had been a terrible mistake but he could move past it. All had not been lost.

She was staring at him, he realized. He didn’t even remember her name, but now she tilted her head and her gaze was fixed to the side. He looked over his shoulder to see what she was looking at.

“I like your earrings,” she said, and reached out to flick the silver hoops. “Not many men around here wear them.” It was shockingly intimate, he felt like. He shook his head and took a step back, stunned her hand had been right there, right beside his face.

Flustered, he mumbled, “Thanks,” then turned and ran away before she could do anything weird. He couldn’t wait to let the guys know his egg was back with him and safe and he wasn’t the shittiest guy who couldn’t even keep track of one stone egg.

Fuck. Fuck, he really didn’t know what he would have done if he’d lost it.

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