#every day off work i say ill do something and then i play video game for 6 hrs
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Another bit on the pro-Pal fandom, this one axiomatic
Being a good person is not the same thing as pretending as though you believe you are a good person.
Being a good person takes work. You have to do stuff. Doing stuff is hard. Doing good stuff is harder, because you have to put thought into determining what you think is good beforehand. That requires self-reflection, honesty, a willingness to challenge oneself, and taking in information from other people to verify that your concept of "good" is, well, good.
The nice part is that once you evaluate what is good and start doing good things, it becomes easier. You gain inner calm, peace, and even joy.
("Good" is not always the same as "necessary". Necessary work can be a slog, or it can be horrific. But there can still be a calming satisfaction at the core, the security that this is necessary and therefore worthwhile.)
Pretending to believe you are a good person takes less immediate work. You don't have to do anything that positively impacts the real world, and you don't have to do any of that annoying, time-consuming self examination. But in the long run, it's more exhausting. By far.
You are insecure about whether or not you are a good person. You're pretending to believe you are good. You can't feel secure in something you pretend to believe. That insecurity gnaws at you, especially when you engage in bad behavior--harassment, doxxing, posting gore, swarming tags, encouraging and promoting suicide among your fellow "activists", telling your opponents to kill themselves, stalking, spamming unrelated content with literal Nazi propaganda.
None of those are good things good people do. And you understand that. You would think someone was bad if they did those things to you. The cognitive dissonance between who you want to be and who you really are, as determined by your actions, is scary. It's painful. It rears up every time someone you have labeled a Zio colonizer scumbag asks you to please just stop and you remember a time when you begged someone--an abuser, a troll online, a 4channer, your parents--to just stop please just leave me alone.
That must feel terrifying, and again, it makes you insecure. It makes you question if you're doing the right thing.
So you do the work to pretend to believe you are good. And that's far more work than goes into being good.
You recruit others, and all of you agree that you will pretend together. Tabletop gaming has taught us how powerful this imaginative play can be. You all reassure each other that you are good and you are right. But since you're all lying to each other, that means you must spend more, and more, and more time every day telling each other that you are good, chasing that high, that feeling that you are a good person and your actions are justified.
You tell each other that your "opponents" in this "battle" are not people, so anything you say or do to and about them is okay. You look at lists of "dehumanizing tactics" and instead of internalizing what those lists are teaching you, you go: "Ah, so if I don't use the word 'vermin', anything I say should be fine!" And then you say it.
You do not smile over good news. You only smile when one of your opponents logs off Tumblr because you made the site unusable and unsafe for them. (The expression you make there isn't really a smile, but we'll call it that, since the corners of your mouth do turn upward.) You tell yourself you're just attacking Zionists and pretend you do not see how you're really going after Jews.
No self-examination; that would mean admitting that you're lying to yourself and others. Instead, you traumatize and exhaust yourself until you're psychologically incapable of self-examination. You watch snuff films. You stare at mangled bodies until you're weeping and physically ill (certainly, you're too ill to check whether the video is real, or if it was taken from this conflict).
You force your beliefs into your fandom spaces so that others, the bad people, cannot escape their complicity in genocide.
But more importantly, you do that so you can't escape.
You cannot engage in any fandom but the pro-Pal fandom because that takes imaginative energy away from your biggest pretense--that you're a good person.
You are NOT hurting people because you are striking a blow for Palestinians. You are hurting people, including yourself, because you do not want to do the work of becoming a good person. You are afraid that self examination, at this point, will reveal to you that you are exactly the sort of person you believe you are fighting.
That fear, that insecurity, that dread, that restless sense that if you ever rest or stop or think for just a moment, you'll discover something awful? That's your conscience.
I do not ask you to change your mind about your political opponents. Your defenses are already on your lips and in your mind; a thousand How Dare Yous for me hinting that you look at other people as people. What I will ask you is to consider this.
I came to young adulthood just as Bush was elected, and the Iraq War post-9/11 was the first war I really followed as an adult. I did what you're doing now. I forced myself to look at photographs of destroyed bodies. I looked at photographs of torture perpetrated by US soldiers. I blogged about it obsessively.
I told myself that I was Doing My Part to end the war. But really, it's that the anxiety of being an American during the war made me insecure over whether or not I was responsible for all of this, and therefore, a bad person. If I pretended my looking at snuff photos was activism, and that it was good, then I could pretend to believe I was good and shout "Not in my name" at protests. I could deny my responsibility.
What I really did was traumatize myself. It's been almost twenty years. I can still see some of those torture pictures in my head. In the end, that is the extent of the impact of my online activism. The blogs are all long deleted, and nobody remembers them.
Only my trauma remains.
I do not want this for you. I want you to be wiser. There is still time. You can stop.
Stop hurting yourself and other people. Do the hard work. Examine yourself and your actions. Consider what your own heart is trying to tell you whenever you start to get the shakes and your throat gets tight. Do not take that feeling out on random people online because they have a Magen David in their pfp.
Once you have done the hard work, it gets easier. You will be able to advocate and work for whatever causes you believe in because you know they are good, not because you're joining your friends in cosplaying goodness. You will still be traumatized, and you will still be sad, and you'll definitely still get angry. You will have to face how you've acted exactly like your own past abusers, and that's a real tough row to hoe.
But at the end, you will be able to advocate and work because you want to, instead of feeling as though you must in order to keep up the masquerade.
#free gaza#free palestine#palestine#politics as fandom#suicide#torture#trauma#worse than slacktivism#abuse#is-the-fire-real original#g-d damn it you've got to be kind#i understand you won't listen to this. it's okay if you don't#i may have addressed “you” but i was soothing my own conscience#because i think it's a good thing to tell people to stop harming themselves and others#and it's not my responsibility to change your behavior#it's yours#i'm also not addressing your antisemitic actions#not because you aren't doing that#but because that is between you and your dark night of the soul
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Here are the things that making a Fire Emblem hack has taught me about both Fire Emblem and the community.
1. Writing a Fire Emblem story is incredibly difficult.
The format of Fire Emblem stories is incredibly hard to get a grasp on when you're designing around permadeath. Once a character joins your army you either have to completely take away any truly meaningful impact they have on the story or have their death just have them retreat, which a lot of players don't like. It's also very difficult to have story directly be integrated with the gameplay, and most often you have to settle for most of the story happening before and after the chapter's gameplay.
2. You need to accept that complete balance is impossible and often times more boring than the less balanced decision.
The FE community gives broken units and strats a hard time a lot, however it's important to consider that those things are only as broken as they are because of all the information available about them. It's also worth noting that incredibly strong units or items can be fun when not being so absurdly busted that you have to actively try to not let the game break itself. We often times get so obsessed with having every unit, weapon type, and item balanced that we forget that perfectly balanced games aren't always the most fun, these are strategy games at the end of the day yes, but they're also supposed to be enjoyable games.
3. Sometimes you just need to ignore people.
This is Subaru. And Subaru is an incredibly good earlygame cav in the second part of my romhack. He has great stats all around except for his strength growth which is a measly 15%, despite this being a setback that in reality can be easily overcome through powerful axes and doubling that 15% growth really throws quite a few people off and they end up immediately benching him and calling him a meme tier unit. Feedback that you know is ill informed like this example can end up being detrimental to your work if you listen to it at face value, Subaru originally had a much higher strength growth and was obscenely broken as can be seen in this video of an earlier build of the game.
https://youtu.be/gclC4RfD_vc
So essentially sometimes you just need to be confident in your own ability to tell when something's good and when something isn't. Of course don't just write everyone off, but do be sure to know when it's time to just dig in your heels and say that you know what you're doing.
4. The Fire Emblem community is incredibly talented.
I've made it clear before that I'm not really good at art, I hardly even know how to edit portraits by a slight bit and yet my romhack is able to have all of these wonderfully made custom portraits, battle animations, tilesets, and songs because of how amazing this community is at making and sharing their work. Within the Fire Emblem hacking community there's a resource known as the 'graphics repository' which holds things like community made battle animations, portraits, and tracks for anyone to use for free as long as credit is provided. I can't explain enough how invaluable of a tool this is to both new and experienced romhackers and it really speaks volumes that the FE community can be very helpful and inclusive when it wants to be. Alongside that there's FEbuilder, the amazingly intuitive all in one romhacking tool created by 7743 that other romhacking communities could only dream of, it's insane how advanced these tools are, I don't even know any C+ or ASM and still have completed an entire romhack with a sequel in the works.
Alright I think that's about everything... I was just sorta bored and figured I'd talk about romhacking for a bit, anyway if anyone's interested in my romhack I'll post a link to it here, it uses FE8 as a base and is fully complete with 25 chapters. It's missing a lot of supports and paired endings but other than that you can play it to the end.
https://feuniverse.us/t/fe8-complete-host-of-the-dark-1-4-25-main-chapters-3-gaidens/12731/1
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You Vamp!Au of TWWL is lovely. Can we introduce some GenZ!Mc in there? U know. For chaos
GenZ!MC + Twst Vampire AU
cw: entirely crack, i tried to make this serious but i can’t, i’m deeply sorry but also i’m gonna have to preface this by saying if the “humour” (it’s not actually funny) is cringe it’s because i am actually a very cringe individual with the sense of humour of a 12 year old. also i’m pretty sure i lost multiple iq points writing this
“Malleus, I have something to tell you. It’s very hard for me to say but,” you pause to work in a sniffle, “I’ve been diagnosed with Ligma. I don’t know how much time I have left.”
With fake tears and tissues straight out of a youtuber apology video, you begin your torment on poor, innocent Malleus.
He’s silent for a moment. Malleus gets up, straight-faced and pulls you into his arms.
“I’m deeply sorry, child of man. I haven’t heard of this illness before but it matters not. Lilia and I will do everything in our power, scour every corner of the earth until we find a cure,” Malleus says, without breaking eye-contact.
“LIGMA BALLS,” you yell. Malleus’ arms loosen in surprise, and you’re able to run, high-five a hiding Ace who’s face has turned red from laughter, and escape to who knows where.
Malleus feels ten years get taken off his life.
-
You’re sitting on the couch with Rook, legs splayed on his lap. Vil is sitting across from you, as far away as he can presumably get, looking disgusted at Rook for associating with you. You make eye contact and blow him a kiss. Vil swerves it, clearly disturbed.
“Begone thot.”
“I don’t know Vil, that’s not what your mom was saying last night when I-“
Rook clamps a hand down on your mouth. It seems even he’s astonished by your depravity. You make eye contact with him before slowly licking his hand. He doesn’t pull away. Okay, now you’re the scared one.
Vil can feel the stress lines forming on his face. He gets up, presumably to start an extensive skin treatment.
-
Sitting in the living room with Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Jack, playing a game of cards when suddenly your next victim walks in. You put down your winning hand, forgoing your victory for what you know is a good cause, a worthy sacrifice.
“Hey, Trey. Would you mind doing me a favour?” You ask him, tone neutral and inconspicuous.
He stops his path to the kitchen, and turns towards your table.
“Of course, MC, what can I do for you?” Trey smiles in his usual friendly way, unaware of the pain that he’s about to endure, the cringe that will keep him awake at night.
Ace is quite literally dying, Deuce is covering his face with his hands, and Epel is already groaning, knowing your antics far too well. Jack, per usual, is unaffected and keeps playing the game, completely apathetic at this point.
“Well since I’m not allowed to leave the mansion, would you mind picking up something for me in town? There’s this baker Joe told me about who’s apparently amazing,” you gush, watching Trey’s face diligently. You don’t want to miss a single moment of this.
“Joe? Who’s Joe?”
“JOE MAMA BITCH,” you get up and immediately start fortnite dancing on his (figurative) corpse. Trey collapses to his knees. Life has no meaning to him anymore. Ace and Deuce are crying, simultaneously tears of laughter and pain stream down their faces. Epel is curled up in a fetus position on the floor, rocking himself back in forth to try and escape the pure agony. Jack continues playing by himself, now alone at the table.
-
You’ve had mercy on Riddle, thus far, knowing his small body can only contain so much emotion at one time. Alas, the day has come where you can no longer hold yourself back. The day that will be known as ‘the great bofa incident’.
A plan that has been weeks in the making, Riddle has no idea that he’s been perfectly set up to take the bait. With Trey as your accomplice (you told him if he did this for you, you wouldn’t target him again - a lie), Riddle’s been given a recipe that Trey’s assured him needs to be followed exactly, lest the entire dish be ruined.
Together in the kitchen, you sit on the counter while Riddle stands near the stove. He turns to you, holding Trey’s recipe.
“Trey has created quite the intricate dish. Even I haven’t heard of this ingredient. Has Trey provided you with this…bofa? Is that some kind of herb?”
If Riddle had bothered to look up as he spoke, he would see the evil smile forming on your face. Weeks of effort, all culminating into this one moment. Some might call it a waste of time, such a tedious process for such a small moment?
Those who would make such claims are those who have never experienced the pure joy, the rush that comes from a getting someone so unsuspecting with such a fantastic, ingenious even, line.
“Bofa? Yeah I’ve heard of it. HEARD OF PUTTING BOFA DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH.”
Riddle is stunned. Flabbergasted, even. You expect some kind of reaction, maybe even anger or an outburst but he gives you nothing. You leave him alone in the kitchen, simply disappointed.
Riddle locks himself in the his room for weeks following the incident. No one knows if he’s dead or alive. He can’t even cry anymore, only capable of sitting in the corner and staring blankly ahead, trapped in an existential crisis and losing his will to keep going a little more each day.
-
Idia has been going on and on to you about his latest experience with an online troll during one of this gaming sessions. Ample opportunity is created for you to strike again, and you cannot resist your true calling.
“Who?” You say to Idia.
“I don’t know their name, it was just a stranger-“
“No, who asked?”
With this sick blow, you’ve completely shattered all of Idia’s already non-existent self-confidence. He deflates, face planting on the floor and not having the will to get up. Idia is reduced to a heap of blue, becoming a stranger to all emotions except for pure cringe. The doctors say he won’t ever recover.
“Gottem,” you say to yourself as you walk out, leaving the carnage you created behind.
#no one read this pls i’m begging#it’s not funny at all i promise you#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland vampire au#twst#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#ace trappola#epel felmier#vil schoenheit#rook hunt#idia shroud#riddle rosehearts#deuce spade#jack howl#trey clover#twst yuu#twst mc#malleus draconia x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#idia shroud x reader#trey clover x reader
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🦷💌; can—can i ask for more??? more turtles x reader tickle fluff? it can be anything at this point, but maayyyyybbeeee take this sugguestion for leooooooooo???!!!
so we all know leo's a teaser...100%...what if the reader finds themself in some sort of stuck situation and leo takes this for advantge? 🧍♀️
thats all i got...for the others idk but it can be literally anything—I LOVE THEM SM AH 🥲🥲
ill shut up now im sorry 😔
Absolutely I can! Thank you for your requests!
People in this: Turtles x Reader (tickle fics!)
Key: (n/n)= Nickname
(y/n)= Your name
Apologies on how late this is coming out lol! But I hope you enjoy!
-K :]
____________~☆°♡°☆°♡°☆~_____________
Leo!:
The things you would do for these turtles is absolutely ridiculous! From the minute they walked into your life its been nothing but adventure and greatness but man was it frustrating in times like these.
Leo's TV broke the other day and with Donnie busy at April's house he frantically called you for help, again the things you would do for those turtles, especially Leo.
The hold he has on you is insane so of course you agreed to come and help him. He smiled widely and thanked you repetitively as you arrived on the scene!
He stepped out of the room for a while to give you some space and when he came back he was delighted to see that you not only fixed it but had gotten yourself stuck in the process
"Leo I swear to the Pizza Supreme in the sky if you don't stop laughing and come help me out-"
"Fihihine! I was gonna help you anyway its just too funny!! AHAHA"
"Leooo"
"OKAhay I'm coming! Neon Leon is on the case!" He smiled brightly as he walked over to you trying to pull you out from behind the TV but nothing was working
"You really got yourself stuck in there"
"You think?" You giggled a little as he scoffed jokingly
"Hey! I'm trying to help you here! I wouldn't get all smart in your position if I were you~" he lowered his voice to his natrual teasing tone before tweaking your sides gently watching the reaction it gave
"What's wrong?, You Ticklish?~"
He didn't give you a chance to answer before his wiggling fingers danced across every tickle spot he could find enjoying every laugh, giggle, sound and reaction you made. There was no chance of escape, no room to move, no place to hide, it was just you, him and your tickle spots.
His smirk grew as he found your most ticklish spot
"Awwww is this your worst spot? Hmm?~ Tickle Tickle tickleee~" he continued as any pleads went in one ear and out the other
"LEHEHEO UHUHUSE YOHOHOUR POHOHORTALS AND FREEE MEHE!"
"Great thinking (n/n)! I will use my portals!~" he smirked using two small portals to put his hands through the wall and tickle your worst spot that way
"NOHOHOT WHAHAT I MEHEANT!"
He giggled along with you for a little before stopping and fully pulling you through a bigger portal and onto his lap as he rubbed away the ghost tickles
"You okay?" He asked with a smile
"I am, but you might not be in a few seconds~"
"Ohhh boyyy"
Let's just say that night the lair was filled with laughter!
-
Donnie!:
You and the purple clad turtle arranged to hang out that evening! This was going to be great! Donatello wanted to hang out with you!
Now normally your hang outs consisted of you two being in the lab, working on new tech or just enjoying each other's company doing your own things but it was always his lab and it was always something science based, you didn't mind that of course! It was just today was different!
He texted you to leave your equipment at home and meet him in the arcade that they have in the lair. Of course you did just that but something was off.
"Hey D! Why did you want to meet here? And why did you tell me to leave my stuff at home?" He smiled as you entered the arcade area
"Sweet Sweet (y/n)! Today! We are going to be playing video games! Jazz hands" he wiggled his fingers to show his enthusiasm and to put emphasis on the plan as you nodded
"Sounds great! You're so going down!"
"Prepare to eateth' thy words!"
The two of you spent the entire day going from game to game. He mentally kept score while you two had fun, and he was one point away from beating you! Luckily, this next game was his specialty! It's the car game he's always playing with Mikey and he was determined to win!
"Prepare to eat my dust (n/n)!"
"Oh well see about that!"
And the race was on! It was neck and neck and Donnie was prepared to do anything to win and I mean anything! He thought about it for a little bit before a smirk formed on his features. He used one of his robot hands that was now holding a feather to it and swiped it across your neck and face to distract you enjoying your reactions and the light up winners screen he had.
"Hey would you look at that I won!"
"Yohohou cheheated!"
"GASP! I am hurt that you would even think for a second that I would do such a thing!" His smirk grew as he used the robot arm to hold your hands up as he circled you with wiggling fingers
"You know I think you're just a sore loser (n/n), I know exactly what will help fix that~" he giggled alittle before tickling you all over your tickle spots, experimenting with every single spot to find your worst spot and the best reactions!
He pointed out the little things as he tickled you, which became more flustering the more he did it. Stuff like;
"Hmm what an interesting sound you make when I do this!" Or "Wow! You're really ticklish here~" and finally "How fascinating your face just keeps getting more and more red the more I talk, am I flustering you dove~" He was on a roll today, he was finally number one and he was gonna use all of that power to his advantage right now!
"YOHOHOU WIHIHIN DEHEHEE!" He stopped his raspberry and smirked at you
"Why thank you for finally acknowledging the truth!" He smiled, rubbing the ghost tickles away and releasing you from his robot arm.
What an eventful game night!
-
Raph!:
This sweetheart could tell instantly that you were stressed. He decided that it would be a great idea to give you a relaxation day! He let everyone know ahead of time and tidied everything up accordingly!
He went out of his way to make sure when you arrived that everything was perfect! His room smelled nice, his brothers were either in their rooms or out playing basketball and he even put on some calming instrumental music for you!
He was determined to make everything special for you. He beamed when you entered the lair, instantly lifting you off the ground and carrying you to your final destination, claiming that you were not to use your legs today or lift a finger! He treated you like the royalty you are it was so special. Even if you insisted you were fine, there was no saying no to Raph!
He smiled as he placed you down onto his big red coded bed. "I had Mikey help me cook you you're favorite!" he smiled, handing you a plate full of your favorite meal which you happily accepted and thanked him again
"Of course! Anytime sunshine!" He smiled brighter before he offered a massage "here this should help!"
Before you knew it, he was getting every single knot out of your back and shoulders, and lt felt great, but holy heck, did it tickle! Raph caught on after a giggle slipped from your mouth while you were exhaling
"How does it feel?" He asked 'innocently' as he moved back to the spot that made you giggle before
"It feels gohohood! Thahanks Raph!" You giggled again as his smile turned into a smirk
"Good im so glad! You truly deserve this! You work so hard and deserve a break I am so proud of you (y/n)!" He smiled brightly again now properly tickling you
"Rahahaph!"
"Why are you giggling so much (n/n)?~ It's just a massage, don't tell me you're ticklish!~" He teased you as he continued tickling all over your tickle spots
"Dawww, I think this will help relieve your stress more! They do say laughter is the best medicine!" He continued enjoying every little sound, laugh, and reaction you made to his tickles and various tickle spots until he found your worst spot
"OKAHAY MEHEHERCYYY!"
He stopped immediately, rubbing away the ghost tickles before picking you up again and holding you close, his heartbeat soothing yours as he rubbed circles into your skin
"Cuddle time!" He exclaimed as you nodded
What a perfect day
-
Mikey!:
After tasting Mikeys amazing creations for a long time now you asked him if he could teach you how to cook! He was ecstatic! Today was the day you two scheduled to do this!
He smiled brightly as you entered the lairs kitchen! "Here you go!" He handed you your very own apron he decorated it himself he was really proud of it!
You wore it with pride as you washed your hands and got ready to cook! Everything was going great! He guided your hands through some techniques, you added the spices together to give it flavor and overall were just having fun and learning alot! Mikeys a really great coach!
The waiting was the boring part, so when you got impatient and saw an open bag of flour sitting right in front of you, you knew exactly what to do. You sneakily took a bit in your hand before catching the orange turtles attention and threw it at him
He gasped jokingly as he blinked, now covered in flour "oh that's it! You are so on!" He smirked taking some of the flour and throwing it back on you, soon it was an all out flour war! He eventually pounced on you trying to get the flour on your shirt but his hands slipped accidentally swiping your side in the process
He caught that reaction immediately and had an even better idea then the flour! He smirked as his wiggling fingers scribbled all over your tickle spots like a skilled artist painting his masterpiece!
"Tickle Tickle tickleee~ this is what you get for pranking the prankster (n/n)~" He giggled along with you before he found your worst spot
"Awwww I think someone's Ticklish~" he teased in a sing song voice as he used every trick in the book to get the best reactions out of you
"Tickletickletickletickle"
"MIHIHIHIKEHEHEY!-"
*DING!*
"Oh Goodie! The foods ready!" He smiled rubbing away the ghost tickles and leading you a hand up while you caught your breath
"Ihit smells amazing!"
"It's gonna taste amazing too you know why?" He smiled at you as you raised an eyebrow
"Why's that?"
"Because we made it with love together! Anddd it got your giggles in there for extra love!"
"Mikeyyy!"
He giggled as he started to plate everything. "we eat first, then clean, alright? And you started this so you have to help me! You have no choice, cutie pie!" He giggled poking your sides again quickly before he handed you your plate
"Okahay fair enough!"
You two enjoyed your creation throughly before cleaning the place up and cleaning yourselves up later one at a time, getting into comfy Pj's and enjoying the rest of the night together! It was perfect! This definitely calls for more cooking dates down the line!
---------------------------------------------------
I hope you all enjoyedd! I loved making this! And I hope you all have a great day today! You truly deserve it! I am so proud of you! /p /gen /pos
-K :]
#k writes tk things#rottmnt tickle#rottmnt tickle fic#rottmnt x reader#ler!leo#ler!leonardo#ler!donnie#ler!donatello#ler!raph#ler!raphael#ler!mikey#ler!michaelangelo#lee!reader
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imo they should teach classes & do exercises in grade school (and college) on human accessibility / empathy / awareness & im not joking
they need to conduct this with adults, too. maybe continuing ed or something.
just a personal example: I dislocated and smashed my shoulder in a biking accident last week.
it has been **infinitely more difficult** to do mundane tasks with one arm, because the entire world is based off the assumption that most people have two working arms
list of mundane tasks include:
1. opening pill bottles
2. cooking
3. taking out the trash
4. video games (I literally cant play anything unless it can be done w/ one hand which isnt many lol)
5. texting / using my phone
6. getting dressed
7. getting in / out of the shower
8. cutting up fruit / vegs etc
9. opening plastic packages
10. getting up from a lying down position
11. safely exercising
12. opening cans (if it doesnt have a tab for me to open it w/ im fucked bc I cant operate a can opener with one arm lol)
13. sweeping / mopping
14. doing the dishes (if I didnt have a dishwashing machine in my apartment during this shit........................ fuck me. awful)
15. opening doors
17. drying my hands with a manual roll of paper towels
18. toilet paper
19. standing on the train / bus
20. grocery shopping
21. sleeping comfortably
22. doing shots / injectable medication on myself
23. opening single use eye drop vials
24. using nail clippers
and i'm probably missing a lot more bc like. i'm not kidding at all when I say literally every aspect of my life is way harder now
i'm not a stranger to chronic pain / illness, but having my shoulder & arm immobile for the next few weeks really has me thinking hard about accessibility. more so than usual. and it's incredibly evident and eye opening just how fucking hostile our day-to-day is to disabled & chronically ill people.
I think like. perhaps if in grade school we did something as simple as putting an extra shirt / band / whatever to keep someone's dominant arm down from being used, and then encouraged people to interact with their environments as normal throughout the day--
it would be incredibly eye opening to them as well. and perhaps we could instill more understanding & begin to shift focus to more accessible standards universally
it's a simple exercise. but its an effective one. you can try it for yourself and see.
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Stupid stupid rant about my friend
TLDR: Friends are disappointing! I should just isolate myself and focus on ⭐ving instead!!!
honestly kind of fucking hate my friend right now. he gets pissed off over the smallest fucking shif and he never fucking says anything. he like hates communication. its gotten to a point where i dont want to play games with him and our other friends because he just gets annoyed and yells at us. i always feel like im doing something wrong! im so uncomfortable all the time! and then they get confused and upset when i dont feel like playing again. buddy, how can i fucking enjoy anything when youre making me feel uncomfortable at best the whole time????
he reminds me of my ex so much its awful. i cant stand him sometimes. if you dont respond the right way or at all hes say some shit like "i should just die" or "you guys hate me" and i just! hate it! and he refuses to communicate ANYTHING. hed rather give you the silent treatment IN THE FUCKING VOICE CHAT. you ask him a question qnd youll have to keep repeating it for like ten minutes before hell answer because he got mildly upset. he got snippy with us because we didnt have the game open the moment he joined the call. he got fucking mad at us for mentioning school while were on break. like???? im fucking sorry that we briefly mentioned something thats been a part of our daily lives for the last like 12 years? and we barely even actually talked about school. i just got upset that ill have to sit with the annoying kids in my first period, and our other friend said that her voicemail was full of colleges doing college shit. not only that, its just really fucking dumb that hes upset over talking about school during break. its literally fucking ending, you cant not think about it. and does he think that hes the only one stressed over school?? one friend doesnt even have freetime during the week a majority of the time because shes doing so much school shit. i almost committed in freshman year! and even now, i need hours after school every day to decompress because im so fucking overstimulated and overwhelmed all day! and the third other person is taking FIVE AP CLASSES. their ass is swamped with work too!!! meanwhile, he can get home and have the time and energy to draw and play video games and record and edit videos all in the same day. if snything he doesn't get to say anything about not wanting to think about school while relaxing bc hes the most relaxed!
i asked him why he didnt tell us smtg would upsst him before we did it and he just responded with "i assumed you guys were cool." ok.
i mentioned that i had stolen sone of my parents alc while i was doing online school. yknow that period of time where i was struggling with dissociation and thoughts of committing? and nobody was fucking talking to me? he said that made me a bad person.
our friend has a girlfriend and naturally they spend a lot of time together. he gets upset seeing that theyre playing the same game or knowing that theyre hanging out without us. i dobt mind, i just wished shed let us know that she had plans rather than leaving out of nowhere. but he genuinely like despises her for spending time with her significant other.
ive stopped making plans with him because he kept flaking. he was always so indecisive and he would cancel plans the night before so often. sometimes even the MORNING OF. he would want to save money even if he wouldve spent a total of 10 dollars, or hed be too tired bc he refused to stop playing games the night before. i always go to bed earlier if im doing something the next day. i dont know why im not worth the same energy. honestly im not sure he actually likes hanging out with me, im just the only one willing to do the same things as him. the only plans that worked out were things he was absolutely going to do regardless of anyone going with him.
i dont wven know how to breach the subject with him because, again, hes so much like my ex. i know that if i make him feel bad, hell either get defensive or just freak out and cry about it. i listened to my ex say id be better off if he was gone in response to me venting way too many times to want to express my feelings about people ever again.
and it really sucks bc other times hes really nice and fun to be around. i just wonder if he dies actually like me at all. i feel like he sees me as less than sometimes.
idk i stopped being mad and got sad.
but i mean hes implied it before. he wants more friends to play cod and fortnite with and go to the park at night with. he never asks me to do thise things. im willing to play fortnite. i want to play cod. i want to do literally anything at night especially go to the park. he especially wanted more guy friends to do things with.
hed be happier being friends with the kids at school who hate me
idk. this is dumb. its 3am.
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Can we get denji and aki takin care of u when ur sick?? <3
Denji
The first thing Denji does when you tell him you think you're getting sick is tell you that you'd better milk the hell out of it. "Take a bunch of days off," he suggests, even if all you're dealing with is the sniffles. "I'll hafta take time off to take care of ya, too, obviously," he says, and once he's committed to being your nurse there's no stopping him. He calls in for at least a week. (It's only because he wants to look after you. It has nothing to do with the fact that he just bought a new video game and he's been dying to play it, of course.)
Denji rushes out to the nearest convenience store for supplies, and even if you give him a list, he comes back with at least three full bags. He just grabs two of everything—zinc lozenges, cough syrup, allergy pills, alka-seltzers. "If you take, like, all of this at once I figured you'd probably get better instantly or something," he justifies, completely serious, and you make a mental note to explain to him that's not how medicine works when you're feeling better. For now, at least you're not going to run out of anything.
Your every wish is Denji's command. He's a sucker for you normally, but seeing your face flushed and eyes puffy and voice all scratchy tugs at his chest in a way he doesn't like much, and he's determined to make you comfy as possible. He'll rub your back, fluff your pillows, watch whatever you want on TV (even if he hates the show), and run to the other side of Tokyo to pick up lunch from your favorite carry-out place. Denji will do anything; all you have to do is ask.
Unless you specifically ask to be left alone, Denji cuddles you through your illness. He'll warm you up when the chills hit, hold a fan three inches from your face when you're sweating through your clothes, and just holds you any time in between. Plan on taking care of him, too, once you're feeling better, because he gets too close not to catch whatever you've come down with.
Aki
The moment you say "Good morning" to him and Aki hears the stuffiness in your voice, he knows you've come down with something. "If you're sick," he tells you, "you should go back to bed." He's stern when you're ill, but it's just because he knows what you need to get better. He won't rest until you're tucked into bed, you've taken some medicine, and you're trying to sleep.
Aki doesn't need a thermometer to tell if you're sick. He presses his lips to your forehead, resting against your flushed skin for a moment. If your skin's hot against his lips he knows you have a fever.
Ever the cook, Aki makes you a delicious, easy-on-the-stomach meal. He knows it's not as tasty when you can't season it properly, so he promises to make you your favorite meal when you're feeling better as long as you try to finish your food now. He also always has the perfect herbal tea on hand for whatever ails you, and makes a cup of that for you as well.
If you're too sick to focus on TV, Aki pulls a chair up next to your bed and reads to you. He doesn't mind if you fall asleep, or can't completely pay attention. He just wants to be a comforting presence for you, and his gentle, low voice narrating a good book definitely qualifies as comforting.
Aki doesn't want to catch what you've got, so don't expect him to crawl in bed with you at the end of the day. Instead, he pulls an air mattress out of storage and plops it down next to your bed. He won't completely cut you off, though; if you dangle a clammy, sick hand off the edge of the bed, he'll wind his fingers through yours and hold your hand 'til morning.
Aki's not squeamish. He doesn't mind dealing with all the gross parts of being sick, so if you need something, don't be embarrassed; just ask. Aki dutifully empties your barf bucket, changes the sheets if you sweat through them. and carries you to the bathroom if you don't think you can make it by yourself. He's gentle, and kind, and he'll never make you feel bad or gross for anything that happens while you're sick. If you start to fuss, he'll quickly shut it down; "It's okay," he reassures, "it happens to everyone when they're sick. Forget about it and just rest."
#chainsaw man#chainsaw man/reader#chainsaw man x reader#chainsaw man headcanons#denji x reader#denji/reader#aki hayakawa#aki x reader#aki hayakawa/reader#denji
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This week was downright awful.
One of his line cooks ended up ill and called out of work last minute, and while Sukuna is a heartless man, he's not stupid at all to put the entire staff and himself at risk, so he's had to pull double time and work twice as hard this week. Not to mention he's gotten into a few scuffles in the parking lot as well, and while he didn't lose, his body hurt and he was irritated beyond belief. All he wanted to do was come home and plop into bed every night before getting up and doing it again, but nothing is ever that simple and easy in Sukuna's life is it?
Of course Satoru, his annoying ass, can't take a hint excuse of a roommate couldn't take a week off from being annoying, and they had a more than vicious spat that just soured Sukuna's mood more. He left for a day or two, spending the night out at someone else's dorm, ignoring Satoru's frantic calls and messages ( although he did tell him he was safe; God knows he doesn't want a missing person's alert called on him again ), until he was numb enough to come home, ignore Satoru, and close himself off in his room.
He stayed in there for a while, playing his video games mindlessly on his day off. Nothing but mindless bot matches because he didn't feel up to raging on mic and saying the most heinous things that would have his mother clutching her pearls. Sukuna hadn't taken any notice of Satoru coming into his room and striding in until he had a lap full of him all of a sudden. His eyes widen, going to move him off his lap ( he hasn't even apologized ) until he took note of the attire.
A deep quizzical crease forms between his brows. Sukuna leans back to take it all in; Satoru in a maid dress was not something he thought he'd ever see or even want to see but here he is. Sukuna is quiet, eyes raking up and down, pulling at the material just to see how far Satoru took dressing up. Everything but the shoes it seems, which was fine ( fine? why is it fine? ), even the knee high socks were a nice enough touch.
Looking back up at Satoru, Sukuna just stares, hands on either side of his hips. They're looking at each other expectantly it seems. The older of the two sighing and leaning his chair back somewhat to give himself space. "What's the get up for? I didn't think cross-dressing would be a kink of yours," he asks lifting the skirt again curiously.
@impishsensei: satoru strolls right into his roommate's bedroom as if he owns it (and he might as well, considering how much time he spends in there), donning a fancy little maid dress. he was convinced it was the proper course of action after seeing a tweet reading something along the lines of, 'Sometimes, taking care of a friend who's down on his luck requires investing in a maid's costume.' satoru figures it the proper course of action after sukuna had a rough week at the waffle house on top of their previous squabble... which was satoru's fault and he was admittedly too proud to apologize like a normal person. he makes sure not to make a peep, right up until he's plopping himself right down onto the other's lap mid-game.
#impishsensei#𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎. 𝟎𝟏𝟒 / satoru gojo (impishsensei)#𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄. 𝟎𝟎𝟓 / ask#𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐕𝐈𝐁𝐄. 𝟎𝟏𝟓 / modern au#dont ask me how this got so long idrk#so i forewent an icon
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Hiii I saw you had match ups open for obey me and I’d love it if you did one for me with any of the boys!!! (Hopefully I understood your guidelines right)
I’m not too good at describing myself, but I’ll do my best 😭 I’m kinda bad with zodiac stuff but I’m a Capricorn (whatever that means) which is fun since I don’t share that sign with any of them I think lol
Personality wise I’m a very loud person, I have terrible volume control, and I tend to be very cheery!! Think glitter and sparkles and rainbows personified basically. However because god hates me I’m also really awkward and terrible at social interaction so I sorta just end up making a fool out of myself a lot 😭😭😭 I don’t really go out much or have a lot of irl friends so it’s a STRUGGLE and I’m constantly worried that people think I’m weird or come across as like, creepy idk, it kinda sucks cause I do love to talk to people but I can’t help that I’m bad at it!!!!!!
(The undiagnosed autism doesn’t help probably)
So yeah as for hobbies and stuff I’m an artist!! I’m studying it in college and it’s basically my whole life, I’m trying to get to a point where I could one day illustrate a story!! I’m best with traditional stuff like oil painting but I’m practicing digital art too!! Writing is also something I like to do though I’m less confident at it, reading is also a hobby of mine and trust me I could go on like, a million long year RANT about Frankenstein I’m like so mentally ill about it
Ofc I love video games too!!! Mostly RPGs and JRPGs, but I also like visual novels and horror games of all types!!! Currently my favorite game is probabblyyyyyyyyyy the elder scrolls III Morrowind, I love that game to death! I play league of legends too and YES I GENUINELY THINK ITS FUN 😭😭😭😭 anyway,,, I like anime and manga too, haven’t been that crazy about it for a while but still, oh and I cosplay too!!
ALSO ALSO I love stuffed animals I have a huge collections of them and I cannot sleep without at least one because my cat is MEAN and refuses to sleep besides me at night and I get lonely :(
Okay I think that’s it sorry if I rambled on for ages looll I just rlly rlly love obey me atm and I’m in love with every single one of the guys!!! (sans luke obvi he’s my son) Hopefully I gave you enough to work with ^v^ have a nice day!!!!!!!!!! <3 ✨ ✨
- 🦄 (my cool anon signature even tho this is just one part)
Awwww first off, bless you for feeling the love for our precious baby angel son Lukey 🥰💕
Secondly, despite keeping all of the Boys in mind, your description brought two Brothers to mind, but one yelled louder in my head
And this is partially because of your own volume since you said you have bad volume control, but are cheerful~
I pair you with...
Mammon
This man would love your cutesy, cheerful personality! And it would make his brain short circuit at times 😅
Getting together would be a bit difficult considering considering you're awkward and struggle with social skills and this man is extremely awkward for those he has feelings for. He will make a fool out himself time and time again.
Honestly, y'all will probably be best friends long before you date, giving you plenty of time to get comfy with with him and show your loud n' sweet side. Like dear, neither of y'all know how to control your volume, to the dismay of the other brothers, but it's okay bc you're both having fun!
When people think video games, they usually think Levi, but Mammon like playing them too! He'd love to play games with you or even watch you play your favorite games (though he'll probably talk the entire time you play so hopefully you don't mind 😅)
Honestly, he knows very little about art, but I think he'd enjoy watching you draw, especially when using oil painting because I doubt he's truly seen anyone do anything like that before. He'd be honestly impressed by your skill, but maybe a biiiiiit too embarrassed to say so at first.
Also, HE WILL BUY YOU SOOOO MANY NEW STUFFIES. Like for real, he finds you collecting stuffed animals to be really cute. I can totally see him just randomly buying you more stuffies, but even more so, this man will take every chance he gets to win you one from a crane game and show off his skills...or lack there of lol.
I did think about pairing you with Levi, but I think the third brother would appreciate your lack of volume control less than Mammon does.
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frenrye
i dont evem know who these guys ARE!
jokes aside though i luv frenrey. frenrey means alot to me which sounds kind of funny to say. its an inside joke to several friend groups (3 friendgroups i can think of off the top of my head). its a comfort. it makes me unironically nauseous if i think about it in bad contexts. i couldnt look at it for a little bit due to bad associations. it also helped me figure out alot about myself (mostlu helped me figure out that im. fictoromantic </3)
alot of text under the cut sorry. WATCH OUT! (ship ask game)
as for what it means to me personally, at first i was annoying with hlvrai. i had the worst possible characterizations yiu could possibly conjure up because i wanted to frankenstein every fucking ao3 trait for benrey and gordon together because i thought that was the way to characterize them. i was also 13 so whatever. i also projected onto benrey HARD which made him more annoying and me more annoying also. at some point i projected too hard and got nauseous with the ship cuz i convinced myself that i was projecting trauma about my ex friends onto them.??? which was weird but i ended up reaching some closure regarding those ex friends a little while ago and also at the time i realised "hm. no this is stupid" and moved on. then i got on tumblr and became a bigger frenrey fan (really funny to say) and it started meaning more to me... my characterizations got better ovr time (same with my art) and everything was goung well. i had friends who liked frnerey and also i liked frenrey myself. peace and love on planet autism. and then the thing in june happened when my now ex friend told me something about literally everyone in The Frenrey Discord server which caused alot of stuff that i wont explain cuz i think you guys know it by now. that was embarrassing. i also couldnt look at frenrey because i associated it with that and it made me sick to my stomach to think about. at some point i got normaler and less mentally ill and stuff. frenrey also became a relaly big inside joke in my friend groups and stuff <3 i dont really make as much frenrey art as i used to now since im more of a darnrey enthusiast at this point but thats cuz i did figure out im fictoro bcuz of it (shoutout to my wife. girdon)
other than what it personally means 2 me its also a really funny dynamic. guy shows up and starts pestering you the WHOLE FUCKING DURATION of the worst days of ur life. claims he used to know you when you were kids (you fucking didnt). and ur brains response to this is "lets kiss with tongue" its so funny. in canon context its like. this guy plays a game and meets the most fucking insufferable npc of his life and falls in love with him when hes literally not even tangible. how do you store that much emotion towards a character from a game you could just turn off dude. theyre both pathetic i think. their dynamic is kinda hard to describe. i think its funny when benreys head over heels for this guy that hates his guts. i think its funny if they both hate eachothers guts and are simultaneously thinking "i hope this guy fucking goes to hell. i bet he wants to kiss me. good thing i dont want that". i think its funny if benrey doesnt care about gordon at all and just harasses him cuz he thinks its funny and gordons like "god this guy sucks. would it be weird if i kissed him. id hate that probably". idk its a very fun ship to play around with its very flexible.. they fit as queerplatonic, romantic, AND platonic. they work out in game and nongame scenarios. they work in aus because theyre opposites. its so fun. im like dr frankenstein and frenrey is my frankensteins monster that i test on just to see what happens and what works best. idk how else to end this paragraph and continue to the next one sorry
mre related to the first bit about how theyre an inside joke. heres a collection of frenrey related images that are inside jokes or about inside jokes
theres also a lot more videos i have but i cant put themall here. sadly. heres one at least
#im not maintagging any of this for several reasons#asks#NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT#TALKING ABOUT FRENREY TO MARCIE MADE US CLOSER. WERE QPPS NOW#TAHTS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME
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uno reverse:
please feel free to tell me all about your favorite game(s). I don’t care if it’s one game I don’t care if it’s fifty- just hit me with it.
This makes me so happy !! Thank you !!
So, I am going to be honest and say that I didn't play games seriously growing up. I grew up with 3 other siblings (Two more later on but when I was a teen) and video games were deemed my eldest brothers thing. And we rarely got along so when I got to play the fun games I always saw him play, I would have to figure it out all myself. Just me and my sister (close in age so not much help) would try and figure it out. Lmao, so I am going to name games I had fun playing but most likely haven't beaten a lot of them.
I love Legend of Zelda games too !! I tried to play the Spirit tracks and a link between worlds but... well, I didn't understand them and could only play when I stole them from my brother (I was the problematic younger sibling. Don't sue me) but I had fun trying to play them ! I also love love love Wind Waker and Ocarina of Time !! I loved them so much. I think I also didn't understand Ocarina of Time but I never beat Wind Waker because kept getting scared when trying to get past the one sneaking section in the jail. The bird also scared me. But I actually picked up Wind Waker again and got far in !! (Fun fact, I still have a game cube !!) But I got distracted so still not beaten lmao. Funnier fact, when I played recently, I ended up getting stuck right after getting the grappling hook because I didn't realize the big gap which was very obviously meant to teach you to use the grappling hook, was something I was suppose to grapple hook over. Anyways, also played Majora's mask but also didn't beat it. The moon was scary. Oh, oh, and I got to play a little bit of Midnight Princess but my mom said that was too dark so she wouldn't let us actually get it. Oh, I also nearly forgot about Skyward Sword ! I am pretty sure I am the only Zelda fan to like Skyward Sword and hat Breath of the Wild (it's just not a Zelda game. Sorry)
Off the Zelda topic, I like some Mario games. I loved playing Mario Sunshine and Paper Mario (beat neither) and I wish I still had those discs. Also played some Mario Odysess but kept getting bored (And by bored, I mean that I got near the end in one day but then the mental illness won and I kept playing the car mini game for 4 hrs before getting bored)
Trying to think of more classics I played.... uhh... none...
So on to Animal Crossing, I remember playing this on so many different platforms but it all feels like a fever dream. I think I played one on the DS that had a mini town...area thing??? That my little brain loved to go to. Like idk why I thought going there was some special thing. I also played the one on the switch religiously during 2020 (I am basic okay). It was fun but my little brothers would mess up my island >:(
Ooooh, wait these count. Only the real people will remember Poptropica. i loved that game !! And I would regularly play it and beat the islands and get stuck on them. I remember playing the island for the great hunts very specifically for some reason. maybe because the part where you have to sneak around and run from the dog scared me. Oh the cryptid one too is in graved in my brain !!
More recently, I play Stardew Valley obviously (talk about it enough) but also Hollow Knight !! I actually am both cracked at this game and suck at it. I can do Hornet hitless and beat most of the pantheons but it took me months to beat the 3rd arena. Currently I am still working on doing every boss hitless and all the pantheons. I also did the 100% true ending as my first play through !! Loved it so much. Still haven't done the dreaded flower quest. Anyways, still waiting for Silksong
Oh, I also have played Undertale and Delta Rune. Undertale I played with my friend so... he lowkey carried me lmao. Oh, and we were trying to do the pacifist route and got stuck on Undyne for so long during that. I actually went nearly the whole Flowey fight without getting hit??? Was I suppose to be able to do that?? I have no idea. Never did the murder route because we got bored. Undertale I have played both chapters for. My other friend helped me. They were on call watching me play and helping me find secrets. My first play through I only fought Spamton because my friend said I shouldn't fight the other secret boss. But then I decided I wanted to get all the secrets so I went back and fought Jaster. Let me just say, Spamton was hard and I felt so happy when I beat him! So much fun ! Jester???? Jest is so fucking unfair and unforgiving. I spent days with one goal. Beat that fucker so I never had to ever play that boss fight ever again. And I did it. I beat him. Then my friend said they didn't think I could actually do it. Rude.
Finally.... (Sorry I really never get asked about video games. Usually no one likes the games I like.) I just got Cult of the Lamb and that game is fun !! I didn't beat it yet but I have had fun playing it !! I think I keep forming attachments to my cult members and it sets me back because I will only sacrifice the ones I don't talk to
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I’ve seen this a few times while perusing the Stardew tag and thought it seemed fun! As such, I’m looking for a Stardew Valley match-up, if you will; I’ve no preference for the gender of the match up (bisexual nation RISE UP!!!)
I go by He/Him pronouns. I’m a chubby/stocky man who often jokes about being the “tallest man on earth” (complete lie) (But maybe I am telling the truth… you’ll never know). I am autistic and I suffer from and am medicated for depression and anxiety. Other illnesses, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, also run in my family, but I had never been professionally diagnosed with them. I have a debilitating phobia of dolls and some mannequins and puppets, to the point of nausea. I have chronic migraines.
I’m EXTREMELY heat intolerant, often times getting horribly ill when I do overheat. I take measures to make sure my room is always cool, and I even have some cool packs I rely on in the summer months.
According to MBTI (is that the right order for the abbreviation?) I’m an INFP. My big three astrological alignments are Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Taurus rising; however, my friends who are FAR more into astrology than I am say I seem more like an Aries sun (which is interesting, since I was born a week early— I would have actually been an Aries if I had been born on my actual due date).
I have only a few hobbies as of right now (video games, listening to music, and writing), but I have an abundance of new hobbies I would love to (and plan on!) getting into in the future (a couple include crocheting/knitting, building my own PC, and working/building with wood). I have a lot of struggles with reading, to a degree that makes me feel insecure a lot of the time; I worry it negatively effects my ability and love of writing, and it admittedly can feel a bit alienating at times when people I’m close with talk about the joy they get from reading.
I’m a BIG collector, to the point I don’t really consider it a hobby as much as I do a general part of my life; primarily, I collect stuffed animals! I sleep with a Snoopy Build a Bear every night, and get anxious when I don’t have him in my arms at night. I also usually bring a stuffed animal with me whenever I go out, since it helps me combat anxiety, and I just like holding something in my arms. I also enjoy collecting animal figurines, select Funko figurines (not limited to just Pops, and also only of media I already enjoy), as they don’t trigger my phobia in ways some figures do. I’m an out of box collector, and none of my stuffed is in “mint” condition— I collect for myself, first and foremost, and for the future generation second; everything is well loved, and will continue to be loved.
I’ve become a big “write that down” type of person as I’ve gotten older. I strive to be the guy people come to for notes for a video game they play, or perhaps for recipes that I wrote down even though I’d never make it myself since I’m a very picky eater.
As a kid, and even now, I dreamed of being an oceanographer; I love the ocean dearly, and I always will. I grew up playing the Endless Ocean games on Wii (side note: very excited for Luminous to come out!!!), which was the source of all my love and interest in the ocean. I love learning things I didn’t know about the ocean before, and love sharing my knowledge even more. I may not be able to drive a car, but I’d love to one day be able to have a boating license!
I’m a big animal guy!!! I grew up surrounded by animals all my life, and I’m a firm believer that a home isn’t a home without having an animal around that you can take care of, whether it be a dog, cat, turtle, or otherwise.
I have a moderate fear of going down stairs, as I can’t do it correctly (going down them one step at a time, body often veering off to the side and pressed up against the banister; no, I have no idea why I do this) and have fallen down them quite a few times. Luckily, I’ve never been seriously injured.
Cars also moderately scare me. I don’t like the idea of being in a fast moving box. This often causes embarrassing social blunders, because I reach up for the car handle when I get anxious. I promise it’s not because you’re bad at driving, driver!!!
I can make near-perfect imitations of select animal noises; I’m partial to my quacking noise, as it’s become something of a vocal stim for me. I can also bark and “purr”.
I hate lenticular lining (the thing that makes those images on bookmarks move or seem 3D)— the feeling and the sound it makes when you scratch it makes me feel sick!
I’m often described as an “old soul” by people in my life who are far more spiritual than I am. I don’t exactly know what that means, if I’m honest, but I know it’s a compliment and it makes me feel nice and warm inside when I am describes as such.
I’m allergic to cherries.
My biggest goal in life is to be the fun, supportive uncle/cousin if any of my friends or family ever have kids. I don’t foresee myself ever wanting kids, but I know that any children that would be introduced into my life would be loved and cherished by me. I’d love to sit and watch cartoons with them, or play games. I’d love to introduce them to the shows that I personally grew up watching, because I don’t find it fair for those shows to go overlooked and forgotten. They may already know Josh, but I want them to know Steve and Joe too. (And NO Cocomelon!!! That’d be my only rule).
Thanks for the surplus of info (/gen), it really helps me when writing. I ALWAYS prefer excess info to lack thereof.
== Stardew Valley ==>
I match you up with…
Emily
Emily is exactly the kind of person who you’d want to know. She’s an oddball and may be a bit hard to understand at times, but she’s honest about herself and her hobbies, and will never judge you for yours.
She won’t judge your fears either! I headcanon that while she is accepting of most everything, she has a few strange ones of her own. She’s open to exploring and expanding both of your horizons together, whether that means overcoming fears or just letting them be.
She admires your unique tastes and personality first and foremost. She knows it can be difficult to connect with others who judge your tastes and likes, so she’s especially drawn to you and your energy.
She also loves your love for animals and the ocean. I can imagine you two going on boat rides for dates, looking at the ridges and bumps on the ocean floor.
Then, you go to Ginger Island and look at the local fauna and watch the sunset as the parrots fly across the sunset. She’s never been more content in her life.
If ever you wanted to propose, that would be the time.
And of course, she’d say yes. She’s never had someone understand her and connect with her like you do, and she can’t wait to spend the rest of her life with you.
I imagine she’d join you on your fun supportive uncle idea. When your siblings or Haley have kids, the two of you spend tons of time running around with them on the farm or teaching them about animals.
#oz’s requests#stardew valley#stardew valley x reader#stardew valley matchup#emily stardew valley#Emily stardew x reader
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confessions or complaining - you decide!!!
I am constantly in pain, and whether it is from my mind or something actually being wrong, I have no idea. Perhaps the two are the same. Regardless, if I were to assign a score on a scale of one to ten for the amount of agony in any given hour, the number would never fall lower than a three.
I am constantly being examined, scrutinized by my peers for something that I cannot control. At least, I would assume I can't control it. It must be my mind at fault, fearing the worst - like I've entered some kind of morality battle that I have already accepted I cannot win. I haven't got the will, energy, drive or inspiration. The amount of energy it would take is exponentially more than the rest of my week combined. Every time my phone buzzes, every time a bell goes off, the whole world is reminding me that there is something else to worry about and that, once again, this must have been me at fault. I know, of course, there is no way this could be possible, but something inside my brain still wants it to be so.
It's just too stressful to go out in the world, too dangerous. I don't have the motivation to go out and do the things normal people are supposed to do and go get groceries, run errands. But every weekend has been the same. I sit at my computer and attempt to write, as though all the things wrong with me are a barrier to the sheer fun and exciting parts of creating a world on a page.
I cannot focus, my mind wanders too far from where I'm supposed to be writing and suddenly the words, my will, my ability all flies away and leaves nothing. Because I was never praised as a child, never in the way a child should be praised. Nobody ever told me they were proud of me. My boyfriend says it now, but I don't believe him. How can he be proud of someone who is chronically ill and doesn't get anything done in the real world? All my hard work goes towards a single piece, and even when that's done I am only guaranteed enough support and approval from people that do not truly love me, and the joys of success are brief. And all those eyes staring, taking in whatever they can see of me, ready to criticize and judge. And in a single, quick flash of pain, I will remember it again. I'm not good enough.
I'm not good enough to play video games or watch movies or write, or enjoy things. I'm not good enough to sit at my office job and do work, not good enough to work when my brain gives up or my body won't let me move. Everything feels heavy and slow and numb and every second hurts, each breath and each heartbeat an uphill climb I can barely push myself through.
Sometimes it feels like I'm trapped in a cycle, and for my ADHD brain, this feels like a nightmare - unable to focus and being forced to re-learn these lessons time and time again because they fly by when you're distracted, and each new week, month, day all start to blur together into an endless, horrifying spiral. Sometimes I forget what year it is. And in a world that I could only ever imagine having people who do care, love me for me, a world where I was never harmed by people's perceptions, my mind spirals once more - because maybe I'm still not good enough.
Who is there to blame here? The internet? My mother? My boyfriend? The teachers? There is so much hate, so much vitriol, the most damaging thing is a neutral "love you" to be passive-aggressive in its tone, or the ones that are full of praise but void of true emotion or feeling. There is so little I know of kindness, and I think a kind act is me deciding not to tell the world about how much I suffer. Yet here I am, displaying it on a public forum and thus will probably be labeled as "reaching" for attention in one way or another. Perhaps people are right, and it is the internet, or people, the words. After all, that's all a writer has, is their own words - to write, to dance, to love, to cry and despair.
My heart and soul are numb, tired. A heavy, impenetrable fog over my entire life, trying to leave myself out of all the experiences that were robbed from me.
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⋆ Kim Jongseob + Reader
💌 — Guess who still hasn’t slept, and who is also thinking about how sweet Bf!Jongseob would be because I am SICK. ILL. from the lack of Jseob content.
Bf!Jongseob who never fails to capture the most precious moments with his camera: where you had your first kiss, first date, first sleepover, first meal together, everything. He’d make a scrapbook for said photos, even sneaking in receipts from the places you two have visited, he’d write the cutest little notes beside the tangible memories that made it all the more visceral for him, and he’d only address them to himself so he wouldn’t hold back on his thoughts about how cute you are, how nice you smelled that day, how pretty your outfit was, if he noticed other guys looking at you, a funny joke you told, ugh he’s so🫠 he’d tell you that the added depth to the seemingly uninteresting pictures was what made it worthy of owning a spot in the book, and although you can’t quite seem to grasp the emotional connection he has to a picture of Soul captured jumping mid air, you agree anyways.
Bf!Jongseob who is absolutely the type to have you posted on every social media account he owns, and it’s not just one or two you make an appearance in, no. It’s pretty much every post, profile picture, anything, because he’s also so mygirlfriendmygirlfriend!! Since we’re on the topic of social media let me just say he’d always come in clutch for your birthday, like he’s pulling out the cutest most flattering pictures to ever exist of you:,) the sweetest paragraph written too. He’s so adorable my chest is going to collapse.
Bf!Jongseob who often looks to you if he’s worried his stage makeup is smudged or if his hair is out of place, he’d be so still while asking you to fix something, his hands steady at your hips, letting you do your thing, he’d also keep your brain busy with his opinions about their setlist, or a place he wants to check out before the two of you return to the hotel for the night, or a snack he’s seen that recently became popular online that he’s been wanting to try, his hand placement is just so boyfriend😞 he’s so boyfriend, speaks so calmly to you despite you trying to work with him as quick as possible so that he can return to the stage, although most of the time it’s just an excuse to see you, to get a quick kiss and to hear the comforting sound of your voice 🫠🫠
Bf!Jongseob who never forgets your good luck handshake before he’s being sent out to perform, “But just one more,” he’d rush, trying to steal another kiss before you have the chance to refuse, which is exactly why you didn’t want to have a kiss seal off the pre-show ritual, because it’s never just ‘one more’ which results in him being unprepared and rushing off at the last second. “Seob anymore and I’ll mess up your face.” “Good. Just one. Please! And I’ll go.” “This is your job??? you have to go anyway.”
Bf!Jongseob who often has you sat comfortably between his legs, back against his chest as he plays whatever video game he’s been fixated on recently, sooooo boyfriend I’m telling you!!!! If you aren’t familiar with the game he’s offering to show you the basics, if you end up getting frustrated he’ll laugh, of course, but he’ll always kiss the side of your head as his hands slip over yours to guide you through the process, “Yeah, like that, see you’re getting it, don’t be so hard on yourself, dummy.”
Bf!Jongseob who personally had a photocard of you made just so he can hang the small picture of you off of his bag beside his own!
Bf!Jongseob who swears you’ve had him retell every detail possible about ‘Harry Potter’ more than enough times, yet whenever he’s in another country you’re always: “Seob, what happens next?” over the phone and he can’t stand how cutely you ask, so his sworn resolve to not staying up all night diving deep into canon events quickly crumbles like compact sand hitting water, it slips through his fingers as if it never existed, but Jiung’s starting to get a little tired of it, especially being Seob’s roommate for this stop.
RRRRRRR bf!Jseob bf!Jseob bf!Jseob thank yew🙏❕❕❕
#bf!p1harmony#bf!Jongseob#piwon soft hours#kim jongseob#kim jongseob x reader#piwon#piwon x reader#piwon fluff#piwon imagines#p1harmony#p1harmony x reader#p1harmony jongseob#p1harmony fluff#p1harmony fanfic#p1h jongseob#p1h x reader#p1h fluff#Jseob my beloved
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For him.
Its past ten in the evening, and i am still thinking about you. If last wednesday did not happen, we would have been in yet another meaningful and heartfelt conversation of two closed to lovers individuals. I would have told you about how my first day of internship went by, and on how stressful it has been. You would have been there to comfort me with your kind and reassuring words, while making me laugh with the memes and tiktok videos you collected all day while waiting for me. You would have told me the food you cooked today, and how delicious it was. You will tell me about how you played League with Andy and John, and on how you spent the day in the farm, or perhaps i could imagine you've gone grocery shopping alone or did some errands for the family. We would have been thinking about what topics we weren't able to cover, and we would be consulting google by now about "the questions couples should ask one another". We would be laughing, crying, and smiling by now. I would be feeling butterflies in my stomach again, something that i felt since i met you, and something that i lost, since i let you go. When its already close to twelve, we will be reminding one another how it was already 12 midnight even if we promised to sleep by 11:30pm. You would have told me "i still want to talk to you tho", and i would have replied "i have an 8am internship tho..." with a sad but cute emoji. You would have asked for five more minutes, and of course, i would have given it to you. I'll bid my goodnights, and you'll end our conversation with "and oh you're beautiful even if your hair is messy" "i appreciate you" and "i'll greet you first thing tomorrow". I would have woken up before eight in the morning with your "good morning sunshine, what are your plans for today?". I would have replied about my plans, and ill ask you about yours and you'll simply reply "im just gonna wait for you to end your day. You know im just gonna lazy around". Perhaps, if we were still talking, you would have bombarded me with all the tiktok videos you saw on your feed, and i might need to turn off the notifications to remain focus on my work. I'll get some notification on my telegram regarding updates on how your day is going, and another random notification on discord on how you will join our server, share your screen, to let me know youre just playing some games, and i'll say hello from time to time whenever i jumped in. You would have messaged me how delicious is your lunch and dinner, and you would have reminded me to eat fish and vegetables and to stop munching my favorite chocolate ice cream every afternoon. You would have asked me if i needed help on anything, and you would have sent me a pic of you lazying around your house. It would have been like that Gelo. It would have been yet another happy, calm, eased, and peaceful despite how stressful that day might have been because you were there. I am comforted by your presence. You have become what you promised me you'll be--my sanctuary.
You have done so much for me. You have proven yourself to me. You have taken away all the doubts that I had for you, because you've shown me who you are, and what you are willing to do to make me happy. You are very consistent. You practice exactly what you preach. You include me in your life and in your dreams. You always say "we", instead of "i". You always say "for you", instead of "for me".
But after all i guess you are such a great dream, that when i woke up that wednesday morning, i am in anguish knowing that the things youve done for me and the words you have told me, maybe just all lies.
Have i done something wrong? Haven't i showed you enough care, love, and effort for you to look for other women? Am i not enough? Am i not making you happy? What was wrong with me? Am i lacking on something?
These are the questions that have been running back and forth on my head the night i figured out you were back on that site, and you are in fact, entertaining girls while i was away on vacation.
Did i not reassured you that you are the only ones that i will be talking to? Did you doubt me? Did you not trust me that i can drink and party without entertaining men? If so, you could have told me. You could have communicated it to me, so i could have assured you enough, that when i come back, i will still comeback for you. I will still choose you.
But why do that? Were you afraid that i'll cheat on you? So you did it first before i could do so? Why? Why did you not even bother to explain yourself. Gelo i will listen to you. I will hear you. I will try to understand why you did that to me.
If you truly and genuinely liked me, why didn't you fight for it? Why did you not assert that i needed to hear you? Why did you not come after me? Why did you let me leave you, even if you know that i did not want to do that?
Only if you had the heart and the courage to explain yourself, and genuinely beg for my forgiveness, I would have given it to you, and I would have not let go of your hand. I would have fought for us too. But why did you not do that? Do you honestly think that I mean it when i said i want to end what we have just because of this? Or did you really wait for me to discover you because you know exactly i will leave you, and thats the easy way to let go of me?
I have so many questions that i want you to answer but i know you cant.
It pains me, it hurts me, and it kills me every night to think about what happened to us. It breaks my heart fully knowing that you did not even try to make it up to me. Did you really liked me?
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8.
Tell me about the first five photos you have on your phone or camera.
The 1st is a calendar I made, the next 3 are pictures/videos of my dog loving the new bed we got her, and the 5th is an anniversary picture of my husband and I!
Have you got any half or step siblings?
All my siblings are half siblings but I don’t have any step siblings, thankfully.
When was the last time you were disappointed?
A couple days ago, I invited my mom to see an artist we both loved when I was a kid in concert and she declined for reasons I knew were a lie, which was extra disappointing because she’s going out of her way to see my little sister’s favorite artist that she doesn't even like.
When was the last time you had wet hair?
Thursday night I think.
Do you like kids’ movies?
Oh yeah!
Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on?
Yes, my husband! And I met one girl off Bumble BFF but it didn’t work out.
Have you ever been to the beach? If so, tell me the name of the beach you last went to and when.
I have! We went to Santa something island in Florida wayyyy back in 2012.
When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have?
I had a cold back in April.
When did you last wash your hair?
...Thursday night.
Who did you last speak aloud to and what did you say?
My husband, he was asking me which game he should play.
Do you know anyone with a serious anger management problem?
My family for sureeee.
Do you have a calendar in your room?
Nope!
What color is your wallet?
Black.
Have you ever been to Manhattan?
Newp.
Are you wearing any jewelry right now? What are they?
I’m wearing my wedding rings on my left ring finger and then a super thin little gold chain ring on my right ring finger.
Did you get swine flu?
I did, actually. It was fucking awful and to this day, it’s the sickest I've ever been.
Do you know anyone from Alabama?
Not personally!
How bright is it in the room you’re in?
We have a massive living room window and it’s daytime with the curtains open but it’s overcast outside so it’s perfectly lit but not blinding or anything.
What can you smell right now?
Nothin!
Have you ever bought a game from a site like Big Fish Games or Shockwave?
I think so!
Have you ever had a snow day?
Oh yeah. They were more frequent when I was a kid but we had a huge blizzard in April and we were snowed in for days.
Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies?
I think so actually.
Do you have an unhealthy obsession with colored furry throw pillows that are different shapes and sizes?
Mmm, no.
How often do you change your underwear?
Every day to every other day, depending when I put them on the previous day. Does that make sense?
Doesn’t it bother you when guys in your family / household leave the toilet seat up so that you wind up almost falling in when you’re sleepy and dazed at 3:00 AM and need to pee?
My husband always puts the toilet seat down and I never wake up in the middle of the night to pee.
Approximately how many books do you have in your house?
Um...less than 10 for sure.
Have you ever had to call the cops on someone else before?
I called the cops because it was like 90 degrees and someone had left their dog locked in their car.
Have you ever been to court for something other than a traffic ticket?
I got married in a courthouse if that counts.
Don’t you hate it when people suddenly love a celebrity when they die?
It’s weird but whatever.
What type of math are you the best at?
Addition I guess?
How’s the weather?
It’s cold but not as cold as it usually is this time of year. Supposedly there's a blizzard on its way here this week but it could miss us so we’ll see.
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