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fontasticcrablettes · 8 months

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not sure if anyone's asked this before, but

a common criticism of Vesperia is that Yuri is never really punished for the vigilantism conflict, but I feel that the fandom's proposed solutions are too extreme or boring without much regard for his established character

have you ever had ideas on how you'd rectify this? whether it be a rewrite of certain parts of Vesperia or fanfic ideas

I've definitely thought about this before. I think the issue is that the game tried to address it with Sodia's attack on him, but due to the change of writers between acts 2 and 3, the payoff for that never really happened.

The set-up is there. Yuri spends act 2 inflicting his justice on those he has determined have escaped justice, and the act concludes with Sodia enforcing her own justice on him. But then act 3 comes, and those ideas are never really brought up again. The closest we get is Yuri calling Sodia out in Capua Torim for not carrying through her resolve and giving up on Flynn despite her earlier dedication to him. This could even be interpreted as "Yuri's vigilantism was fine actually" because the lesson he seemed to take from it was "If you're going to kill people, commit to the bit."

I've had a few ideas about addressing this. Disclaimer that I'm a novelist, not a game writer, so my thoughts are around what would work if this story was a novel and not necessarily considering gameplay needs.

The first consideration is that I don't think the game ever intended to 100% condemn Yuri's actions. Rather, I think they were going for a middle ground between his and Flynn's methods. Neither purely solo vigilantism nor a single man rising through the ranks and taking control of the Knights will save the world. You need a bit of both, and not to go to the extremes of either. So, I think it would be against the spirit of the story if Yuri was resoundingly punished and all of his choices punished and portrayed as wrong.

But... some of them should be. Flynn's side of the justice question was about working within the system, and the flaws of his choices smacked him in the face with Alexei's betrayal and realization that his actions to work within the system had led him to aid a coup. The closest thing Yuri gets to a comeuppance like this is Sodia stabbing him, which doesn't really get adequately addressed.

And after all this preamble ("#Nightfoot is bad at brevity" is a tag for a reason) I can finally get to some of my ideas for things that could have happened in the game to strengthen Yuri's character arc.

1. Repede

I think Repede is under-utilized. Yuri is not a very talkative guy when it comes to his own feelings. He doesn't want to burden his friends with his issues, so if he's going through some inner turmoil about his choices, he won't talk it over with his friends unless they bring it up first.

In a book, this could be easily solved with internal narration delving into his thoughts, but in a visual medium, he has to verbalize these. Repede could have been a perfect solution to this. They already set up Repede being a confidant when he got that title for being the only witness to Ragou's murder, but never did anything with it.

I think it would have fit Yuri's character to open up to Repede - to talk things over with his dog whom he knows will never tell another person and won't talk back - in a way he wouldn't want to with one of his human friends.

2. Alexei and Duke

There's a parallel between Flynn & Alexei and Yuri & Duke that could have been stronger. I've always been fond of the idea of Alexei and Duke being old friends who grew apart and became enemies over their dispute about how to handle the corruption of the empire. It makes them a neat parallel for Yuri and Flynn, and a dark shadow of what they and their friendship could become if they keep drifting away from each other and into more extreme deeds.

3. More Sodia

Having Yuri fall victim to the same sort of vigilantism that he inflicted on others is a great plot beat, but then it never really gets addressed again. Sodia does this huge thing, and then we never see her again until pretty late in act 3.

This kind of ties in to me talking about "Yuri and Sodia forced to work together" fic, but what if this happened in the game? What if there was some scenario where Yuri and Sodia had to go off alone together and actually talk to each other and having some messy shouting matches and acknowledge that they aren't so different?

4. Comeuppance for Yuri

Now an actual proposed scenario to "punish" Yuri for his choices. My idea is that when Yuri leaves his friends behind in Halure near the end of act 2, he makes it all the way to Alexei by himself. Rather than his friends catching up with him in the Quoi Woods, Yuri makes it all the way to Zaphias and confronts Alexei alone at the Sword Stair. There, he promptly gets his ass kicked.

The rest of the party catches up to him before Alexei can finish the job, and at that point it can switch to the whole party fighting Estelle as Alexei leaves, as in the game.

In the Quoi Woods scene, his friends call him out for trying to lone-wolf it and point out to him that he does in fact have good friends who want to help him. By shifting this reunion to the Sword Stair, just after he's almost died and fucked everything up, not only is he forced to learn that he can rely on his friends, but that he should.

5. Replacement for Ragou

It's briefly mentioned that there's a new magistrate in Capua Nor and that he's much better than Ragou and the city is so much better off now. This feels like a wasted opportunity to me.

I propose the group returning to Capua Nor in early act 3 to discover that Ragou has been replaced, but that the new guy is almost as bad. Maybe not "feeds children to monsters for the fun of it" bad, but still corrupt, still oppressive, still another head of the Empire's rotting body.

This forces Yuri to confront the idea that while he solved the immediate problem of Ragou not being punished, he didn't actually create any sort of system change. His methods alone are not the solution to justice because picking off the worst of the worst does nothing to change the system that produces and enables those people. While Flynn's focus on changing the system abandons people who suffer while he slowly reforms things, Yuri's focus will never create lasting change and just leads to him playing whack-a-mole with whatever pieces of garbage the corrupt system spits out next.

They need each other, and neither their methods are the solution in isolation. They can't do it alone. In the very last scene of the game, Duke tells Yuri that he's strong, and he replies, "That's because I'm not alone." That's the main message Yuri learns over the course of the game! Yuri goes from a lone wolf to someone who supports the help of his friends and that he's stronger when he's backed up by bonds of friendship. Showing Yuri that simply killing Ragou on his own was not enough, that he needs the cooperation of his friends all working on the same problem from different angles, strengthens that message.

6. Same Choice, Different Decision

This is one of my favourite literary tropes and such a simple way to demonstrate character growth and change.

With either some or all of the proposed changes above, let's end the game with Yuri having the chance to go after Duke alone. He has an opening to break off from the others, but this time, he doesn't. He takes everything he's learned about the necessity to work together and the importance of relying on others chooses not to be a lone vigilante this time. He proves that he has internalized the idea that he is strong because he's not alone.

7. Dark Enforcer

This sidequest could (should?) have been incorporated into the main plot. There's no reason for a storyline that directly parallels the main protagonists' journey and confronts him with the possible downfalls of his approach to be an easily missable sidequest.

---

So, there are some of my ideas! I've thought a lot about this over the years and tried to cut this down to just my plot changes that would directly address Yuri's vigilantism arc.

I think Yuri is often unduly criticized for having "no growth," because I think that just isn't true, but I do think the game flubbed the development of it. He's clearly changed his mind about being a lone vigilante by the end, but when did he emotionally process this? The pieces are there, they just aren't utilized to their full extent.

These are also all ideas about changes to the game itself, but I think most of them would also work as the basis of a fic, either canon divergent, post-game, in squeezing some scenes in.

#Anonymous #tales of vesperia #yuri lowell #nightfoot overthinks things

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edalynn · 6 months

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hii hope you don't mind me asking but why do you hate huntlow?? (genuinely curious) I personaly love the owlhouse and kin hunter and it's one if my favorite ships :0

I was just going to not answer this ask as I feel like I've repeated the many reasons I hate hunt/low in the past, but I realize I've never put it all in one place. I'm going to start by linking some asks or posts of mine that are a smorgasbord of things I or others have pointed out regarding what's wrong with the ship itself for some reference points.

X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X

And I'll add my "Hunt/low Trope Bingo Card" that gives us a fun diagram of multiple problematic tropes that Hunt/low falls under

Let me start of with the ship itself. Hunt/low quite literally makes both characters' arcs irrelevant. Willow's entire arc about learning to be confident in herself, overcome her bullying, and be strong for herself and her friends is basically entirely erased when you put her with Hunter. Her whole arc is that for a lack of better words, she saved herself and is her own person. Yes, she had the help of Luz and Gus, and later Amity after they began mending their friendship, but her whole thing was being strong and confident on her own. In concept, giving Willow a pretty boy boyfriend immediately makes her arc less impactful than if she's never paired with anyone in the story, because her story is about her own self growth. Not being saved by having a conventionally attractive boyfriend. And in practice, we actually see it happen. Willow is dumbed down and made insanely out of character in almost the entirety of the third season, particularly in FtF. She's shown multiple times throughout the end of the season (Actually, in S2 as well) needing to be physically saved by Hunter specifically when she's always been shown she can stand up for herself before. And, yes, you could argue that "Willow doesn't always need to be the strong one!", and you'd be right! But the fact that the second she becomes friends with Hunter, the way her character is written changes dramatically. We see her need to be saved over and over, and it is literally only by Hunter. If this wasn't the case, I would agree with that, but unfortunately it's not. Her growth and "revolutionary" strong-on-her-own arc is entirely negated if she is put in a relationship with Hunter.

On the flipside, Hunter's arc is just as equally, if not more, irrelevant. Hunter's arc is also about finding himself and finding a group of people that are his pseudo-family. His growth is his journey to becoming his own person, away from his abusive parental figure. In concept, Hunt/low makes all of Hunter's trauma, abuse, and loss meaningless by falling into the trope of "romantic love heals all", which is both dangerous for young fans who will believe that and a slap in the face for every abuse victim that relate to Hunter. It's like saying that nothing bad he experienced mattered or had any lasting impact, because you give him a strong girlfriend and poof! All the problems go away and are solved! And I shouldn't have to explain why that message is insanely harmful. As with Willow, we see this happen in action as well. Any time there's a nod to Hunt/low in the show, Hunter's trauma immediately doesn't seem to matter. This is shown the clearest when he is literally not allowed to grieve Flapjack's death because it "upsets" Willow and he has to run after her to comfort- and later save- her. The writers actually made it so that Hunter is made to feel guilty for showing sadness about Flap because it made Willow feel like she "can't do anything right", making the entire scene about how he had to save her and put his grieving of Flapjack to the side. I think as an abuse victim, this is the one thing about Hunt/low that makes me the angriest. And to dip my toes into a later point- fan creators that ship Hunt/low also do this in their fanworks. Moringmark is a BIG perpetrator of the Hunter abuse denial rhetoric.

The way they are intended to be written, these two arcs contrast each other, not complement them. It makes no sense for them to be shipped. And further, the context & content we get in the actual show has a staggering lack of depth or intention. Every interaction they have feels out of character and as if their personalities have to be entirely re-worked for them to even interact- and those are just the miniscule amount of times they actually interact. There's almost no actual content for Hunt/low in the show, it's never acknowledged by other characters how they do with Lumity and Raeda, and they literally almost never interact in the show until FtF. There is no logical reason that anyone should assume they were even interested in each other (aside from Hunter's blink-and-you-miss-it blushes) and you could probably count on both hands how many times they actually interacted with each other on screen both before the Day of Unity, and until FtF. And I'd go as far as to say that when they do interact, they barely even act like friends. Willow spends almost the entirety of TtT ignoring Hunter (assumably unintentionally, but they almost never interact and the episode was literally based around Hunter as one of the main characters in it) aside from the hair cutting scene- which contextually made no sense to be done by Willow- and the after-possession scene- also made no sense contextually for him to have his head on Willow's lap. She literally makes fun of him at one point, with Amity being the one to basically say "guys that's mean, Hunter I don't want you to get made fun of by others please change". How does any of that read as a healthy or loving ship? Much less even a friendship. By the time they get to the Human Realm, Willow and Hunter have interacted, what, maybe three times? Once during ASIAS (Where Willow forgives him way faster than she should have for her character, when she literally took months to fully forgive Amity- and Ami didn't kidnap her), Once during LR (Where Willow literally is shown as not caring, liking, or trusting Hunter until he says something that proves he was with Gus), and then on the mission with Luz & co. to rescue Amity leading to the Day of Unity. The ship both in context & in practice completely obliterate not only both characters' arcs as stated above, but also wreck their personalities, making them every other generic girl and boy in a generic m/f ship.

Moving onto the fandom in relation to Hunt/low. Let me set the scene. This show, The Owl House, in and of itself is for a Queer audience. That doesn't mean cishet people cannot enjoy it, but it is a silent "stay in your lane". TOH was REVOLUTIONARY for Queer mainstream media with the main character being the first main character on an animated show by Disney to be openly Queer. Luz is openly bisexual and has a girlfriend! She comes out to her mom! Her adoptive mother, one of the other 3 main characters, ends up in a canon relationship with her Highschool Sweetheart, a nonbinary person, and is ALSO openly bisexual! So why is Hunt/low treated as if it is the "third main ship" on TOH, when it ISN'T EVEN CANON. Why is it treated as if it's on the same level as Lumity and Raeda!? Why are there fanartists and other creators that ONLY draw or write Hunt/low!? It's insulting honestly! And I, as a queer person, am being so dead serious. it's fucking insulting. And the way Hunt/low shippers treat people that don't ship it is disgusting. Their go-to defense tends to be "Crying Wolf", or claiming any kind of "-phobia" they can to make their ship seem "more valid". You have no idea the amount of times I and my mutuals have been called "biphobic" or "fatphobic" or any number of other insults. When more often than not, It's Hunt/low shippers that I see ignoring Hunter's bisexuality, or worse, disparaging people for shipping Hunter in a mlm relationship. Or worse- saying certain ships (Huntric/Goldric) are inc/estuous because of Aladarius, which also is not even canon (And neither is "Dadrius" while I'm at it, but that's a totally different argument for a different day.). I see them use his bisexuality as fodder constantly. And I won't even mention the mischaracterization by every single Hunt/low fan I've ever seen, making Willow anywhere from Girlboss to Tradwife or Mom Girlfriend, and Hunter from Malewife to Wet Cat to Protector Boyfriend.

The crew also did not help the situation at all. Multiple Storyboard artists or other crew members have openly admitted to attempting to (or succeeding to) force Hunt/low into the storyline, always at the scolding of Dana who would make them remove it or tone it down as it didn't fit her vision of the show. I've seen multiple crewmembers say this- it's not just a one off thing. Or the crew member who once said she didn't care that the ship name "Winter" (the crew's ship name for Hunt/low) made it hard to block/tag because she liked how it sounded. It's just. I've seen so many instances of Dana's crew being that disrespectful to her and attempting to push their own personal feelings and ideas into the show against her wishes.

I could probably go on forever, so I'll stop here. But yeah. That's the basics of why Hunt/low is a shitty, harmful ship.

#taako talks #asks #anons #the owl house #toh #huntl0w negative #toh hunter #hunter toh #hunter noceda #hunter wittebane #hunter clawthorne #willow park #toh willow #long post

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fallen-angel-with-broken-halo · 6 months

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Mom, you said I never learned what you told me

But you're a liar, I can easily say what you taught me

You taught me to be quiet but also loud

Talk when I must, but silence when you're mad

Be assertive but never speak out of line

Otherwise, I'll face your punishment, one so divine

Divine? Apologies, I should probably explain

God is a narcissist who tells you to never complain

He'll tell you you'll burn in hell if you don't worship his name

It's funny, you're not religious yet you do just the same

You taught me I need to be better

But never how to get better

Though you'd probably say otherwise

I'm sorry, fuck, you hate when I apologize

You think when I do that I make myself a victim

I'm sorry, damn it, I'm sorry, I need to remain calm

No matter what I did, I was lacking or too much

I tried, I really tried, mom, begging for forgiveness in the church

You taught me to make friends but never the ones I want

Giving me ones on a silver platter, feeling like me choosing other ones was a taunt

You never appreciated me being the quiet kid

With a few friends that you never approved

But you did like my grades, I was so smart for my age

I know I'm now burnt out, but please forgive this disgrace

I'm aware you like to tell your friends about your daughter

What an ungrateful child she is, but at least she may become a great teacher or mother

Yeah, you never appreciated my dream career

Always saying I'll end up following in your footsteps, all my words falling on deaf ears

You taught me to hate myself

Even though you'd never admit it yourself

Mothers always hate their eldest daughters

And love their obedient sons who aren't just like mirrors, reminding them of their darkest hours

You told my psychologist I look up to you

That that's why I started to break myself so soon

But that's a lie, you should know by now

You made me in your image, though you're scared of that

I even have your hand-me-downs that make me feel like a child

Playing dressup and going outside to show off to the world your pride

You taught me to fear vulnerability

Though now you miss my naivety

You took off my door

You snatched away my phone

You made me take some pills

You threatened me with making some calls

You laughed when I cried

You yelled when I yelled

You weren't there when I smiled

I lost my trust yet I continue to overshare to anyone who would care

Because you were always in the other room, but you were never there

You made my cries feel like a disease

My anger a symptom that I should never release

My numbness a constant, though you didn't like that either

If I never acted like a victim then you were never the problem, so why bother?

You didn't want to be like your father

Congratulations, you still became your parents' daughter

With your fathers' anger but without the violence

And your mothers' neglect but without the whining

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lligkv · 1 month

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what was and what cannot be

The first thing I noticed was the novel's style—the oscillation from many short sentences to long ones, compound in structure; the pivots from feeling to dispassion and back again—and the protagonist's use of “I guess”:

For the longest time I didn't call it turning tricks. When I'd leave work, cross the street to the train station, and if some guy—man I guess you'd call him—had come off the train, I'd take his money. We'd do it in his car. I'd work maybe twenty minutes. Get maybe twenty dollars, which was good compared to what I'd get at my job across the street. Besides, it's hard to get more in a car. At least I told myself this. Though I guess how much depends on what you'd do for it.

Such language can sometimes be a marker of youth. It can suggest uncertainty or diffidence. It can also represent the struggle to compass something—like feeling that is so large it fractures language. It's clear early on in Heather Lewis’s posthumous novel Notice that its young narrator grapples with secret, primal forces, certain deep currents that run under conscious, ordered life. “While it's true I needed the money,” she says, “that's not all I needed from it”:

I understand the need for telling people that, people outside it. But the thing is, I could never really see anyone as outside it. What the extra need is, the thing besides money? I've never pinned it down. I know it's there, though.

It's hard to describe Notice without dipping into Lewis's own story; her life shares so many features of her narrator's. As Melissa Febos describes it in the introduction to the novel's 2023 reissue by Semiotext(e), Lewis too was abused by her father, viciously, in ways that marked her whole life; she too was neglected by her wealthy family; she too turned tricks; she too found succor in the love of women. It's a truism to talk about people dying tragically young, but I think Lewis did: taking her own life, having been unable to find a publisher for Notice, and driven into relapse and breakdown by the criticism received for the other novel, The Second Suspect, into which she transposed many of Notice's details. I wish I could've read the novels she had yet to write.

It's a truism too to say that we write our stories to heal ourselves. A novel isn't therapy, and I don't think Lewis meant to heal; this novel's ending—a bleak one; "one of the hardest endings of any book I've read," as Febos puts it—proves as much. But to write one's story can represent an attempt to answer, through narrative and not facts, impossible questions: What is this thing inside me? Was it born with me or was I given it? Does everyone have it or am I alone born with it, condemned to it?

While working as a prostitute, Notice’s protagonist, “Nina”—her real name is never revealed—falls in with a couple, an unnamed man and his wife, Ingrid, who lock her into a sadomasochistic game. The man uses Nina to recreate the murder of his own daughter, at his own hands. Ingrid hovers in between, both victim—burned by her husband's cigarettes, kicked and beaten by him—and complicit, by virtue of her passivity and resignation.

Nina and Ingrid develop a connection, despite their shared degradation and because of it: Ingrid mother, Nina daughter; both lovers, too; both victims of this unnamed man who tortures them. Nina isn't the first woman Ingrid and her husband have brought into their game, but she's the first to incite to Ingrid to leave. When she does, the man responds by arranging Nina's arrest by authorities, after her violent violation by the officers. From jail, Nina moves to an asylum, and the care of a counselor, Beth, who becomes Ingrid's counterpart in yet another awful triad. The rest of the novel charts Nina's struggle between Beth on the one side, and what she represents, and Ingrid on the other. Beth seeks to care for Nina and to know he; Ingrid haunts Nina, first by her absence and then her return from wherever it was she'd run to, bringing the threat of her husband with her.

This description may suggest that Nina's quest is to choose Beth over Ingrid: to choose salvation over misery. And Nina does choose Beth, letting Ingrid return to her husband. That choice does not bring healing. The relationship with Beth doesn't last. And what, in a different novel, would have been a moment of triumph—the moment, in the second-to-last time they sleep together, when the “howling place” inside of Nina “that'd been so sore, sore from my very beginnings,” transforms, by virtue of the permission Beth gives her to just rest, to a state that’s “not huge and crazed now, but quiet and ageless...hushed and tranquil and endless”—here, that moment brings Nina's most pronounced degradation, at the hands of two men hired by Ingrid's still-vengeful husband. The scene goes on for pages. At the end of it, one of Nina's assailants, Burt, tosses a bullet from the gun they've used to menace her at her crumpled body. The novel ends with that bullet in Nina's pocket, where she keeps it always.

Including at the bar where she sees the other assailant, Jeremy, again. By this time she's living more or less a normal life. Ingrid and her husband are both gone. The relationship with Beth is conventional and antiseptic; Beth’s experience, finding Nina after Burt and Jeremy have done with her, has ended something vital in it, and they don't talk about any of what happened between them. Nina works to keep her life within the bounds of the conventional, and to all appearances she succeeds. But the sight of Jeremy makes her confront a truth: What she has always wanted is death. Her lifestyle has been a way as to seek death while pretending to flee it. Being with Beth has shown her the way toward something greater than this, but to truly choose that way, to choose life, requires an even greater strength that she does not possess:

And so, with it too soon for doing things differently and too late to do them the same, all I could do was stay in this stasis... The familiar heaviness crept into my limbs as I thought these things... The blackness came behind the heaviness. Came on comforting and big as always. But not deathly. Not exactly. Not for tonight at least. And this let me believe I could maybe just dip into it. For little bits of time. Go to it without that eerie pull to stay and, in this way, maybe get some rest. Get some actual sleep that might start me mending. So I went to it, greedy as always. But, even with that slumber taking me over, and then taking me under, I knew that leviathan thing slept in this same darkness. Lay with me, too. Resting, biding its time.

One of the hardest endings of any book I’ve read.

This novel is so clearly a depiction of trauma, but something about that word feels lame next to this novel, written as it was in the early 1990s, before that word became a part of our lexicon so normal you could joke about it, if you wanted to. This is such a close and careful and painful depiction of it. Sometimes Nina’s so watchful, so intently calculating risk (how far will this man go?), and so incredibly aware of threat: knowing immediately, for instance, that her attraction to Ingrid poses a terrible danger. Other times she's not nearly watchful enough, caught off-guard by things that don't register until it's too late. Currents of dread would run through me as I read this book—for instance, when Nina recounts the first time Ingrid's husband strangles her. She speaks in a register like that of police testimony—dispassionate, so careful about distinguishing what she remembers from what she cannot recall and can only assume:

This meant I could scream but then I don't think I tried it. I think maybe I cried, though I'm not sure of it. I know what he did lasted a long time...

I was struck too by the description of the sensation that takes hold of Nina when, in the course of a session with Beth, she comes close to thinking seriously about her own situation, in a deliberate and concerted fashion and not a fleeting one. It's a terrible heaviness, an “inability to get on with it,” this “tremendous pull to give in, to give up.” I know enough about trauma now, with what feels like every third millennial reading The Body Keeps the Score, to know this can happen when you face it: the emergence of this massive exhaustion, the body's attempt to shut down feeling it knows you can't take. Perhaps when Lewis was writing, this was all new. Perhaps that's why this novel was rejected by editors eighteen times before Lewis shelved it altogether.

Or take Nina's repeatedly returning to the parking lot where she picks up clients—including Ingrid's husband—even when one would assume the punishment of her experience with Ingrid or in the asylum or the promise of something different in Beth would warn her against it. One could say she should've known better, but some things go beyond common sense. It's the same with the decision that Beth makes to get Nina off, after finding her wrecked by Burt and Jeremy's assault, in what one can only assume is an attempt to comfort, to speak to Nina in the only language Beth thinks she might understand. It feels like horror.

My body wanted her, while the rest of me didn't. My body maybe even needed her, needed what she was doing. And so this was another time it left me down... She had to work at it but she did finally bring me off, though it happened in a dead, overdue way, not satisfying either of us.

Notice contains some of the most lucid analysis of sex and power I've ever encountered in a novel. Their conventional outlines are present in Nina’s experience with men: Ingrid’s husband, or Burt and Jeremy. But Lewis also charts, with painful and even exhausting exactness, the holds Ingrid and Nina have on each other, and the shifts of power from Beth to Nina and back again as the two of them try to make genuine contact—which requires openness, openness that can feel indistinguishable from victimhood. There’s the "purring" sensation Nina feels when she first begins to bond with Beth—a feeling that permeates her whole body, marking the emergence of true desire, lesbian desire, distinct from sex with men—which one is tempted to read as a force of liberation, though it also has an intensity that registers as terrifying for Nina, so long objectified and objectifying. There are also these places Nina discovers inside herself as her relationships with Beth and Ingrid continue. One place "[feels] early, as in ancient, but still very young," and becomes palpable when Beth is inside her, as she begs Beth for more; another is a place of "deadness" that—in a moment that should be tender—renders Nina altogether unable to engage. When Beth tries to comfort her, holding her, whispering soothing things she can't make out:

She kept on this way and the urge I felt was to cry. To finally let myself do this because it seemed I'd needed to for a very long time. But having no knowledge of what I would be crying about stopped me. It bewildered me to feel something so strongly but without content.

There's something annihilating in this—in the way that the form of feeling can emerge before the content of it can. And it's annihilating too to see the moment Nina does finally allow this emotion to emerge, “to cry from [a] place so big and so old I didn't know where it began or what it concerned.”

As I read all this, I came to think that Notice was working to offer an alternate ethics to that of power and the presumptions and exertions of force on which power depends. Characters like Beth and Nina and even Ingrid—whose relation to Nina, upon her reappearance in Nina's life, is tender, though ultimately unsustainable—they wait until moments are right, and they make progress slowly as they unlearn old codes. Take for instance Nina's reunion with Ingrid, the moment she sees Ingrid's body, and the bruises, dealt by her husband, that run up and down her side:

The sight of them caught me up, nearly stopped me. For an instant it ran through my mind to ask how it had happened. But I knew this, too, was about me, about keeping me from myself. And I knew it wouldn't work. Besides, I knew exactly how she'd come to be hurt in this way. I could see it all—her on the floor and him kicking her. And I knew that the times I'd had this done to me I'd felt the least human of all. To make her revisit it just to spare myself, this seemed close to something he'd do.

“Who did this to you?” is the question asked by someone who's never been a victim themselves and thus must keep themselves from knowledge of victimhood as though victimhood is an aberration, something that could never happen to them. Nina's refusal to ask the question—the decision to simply be there, with Ingrid, in silence—is what allows Ingrid to weep, to ask her to stay, to “look young and afraid” and yet be comforted, not punished. It allows Ingrid to do the opposite of what trauma conditions.

And yet the new ethics—discovered by trial, bravely but clumsily, and at great cost—can't outlast despair. Nina’s relationship with Ingrid ends because Nina recognizes—even in the sweetest moment they’ve yet shared—that there's an “emptiness”: “Ingrid and I weren't so very alike, or weren't anymore. What worked for her seemed now to fail me. Couldn't keep pace with what Beth had begun...” Which is to say: Nina’s relationship with Beth brings a consciousness of what is necessary that renders the life of the victim, Ingrid’s life, her own life, unsupportable. And yet the relationship with Beth, which one would assume represents healing, ends in a kind of betrayal, or is frustrated not long after it’s begun. Perhaps it's when the only language Beth can find to speak to Nina, after her assault at Burt and Jeremy’s hands, is the sexual. Or it's the existential state that Nina's ultimate failure with Beth reveals to her. “I'd been left with two courses,” she says: “do it myself”—that is, die—“or undo the things that had put the desire in me to begin with”: that is, be with Beth. “I knew I wasn't up to offing myself,” Nina adds, “and I couldn't see a way to start toward the other passage.”

It's agonizing to contemplate where Nina ends the novel—frozen in limbo, suspended so cruelly between what was, her past, and what cannot be, what feels impossible to claim or make real: a future; a joyful life. Confronting conditions Lewis herself perhaps faced and simply could not get clear of. What justice is there in such a condition? Why are some of us awakened to that leviathan thing, constantly sent to it, paralyzed by it, unable to live free?

When I was younger and stupider, I would sometimes lament my conventional, middle-class life for its lack of artistic material. I have long since relinquished this, but novels like Notice teach me all over again the vanity and stupidity of that desire. They remind me, too, that what I can offer is witness.

#literary #novels #heather lewis #semiotext(e)#melissa febos

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mesillusionssousecstasy · 6 months

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How to Become a Mob Boss: Quote episode 5 to 6

"- There is no Florida community of retired bosses." (Narrator - Episode 5)

"- It was understood that there would be no flamboyant displays of wealth. Don't antagonize law enforcement for unnecessary reasons. You don't talk your criminal business in front of others. And above all, don't rat anyone out. Any deviation from that is when Whitey would go ballistic." (Episode 5)

"- Bulger had little patience for people he viewed as a liability to him, and he didn't hesitate to have them killed. And that's what kept his gang in line." (Episode 5)

"- If there's no body, there's no murder." (Episode 5)

"- Little wonder why all the best bosses know the value of a good cover-up. When former Gambino boss, Paul Castellano, needed a rival disappeared, he relied on hitman Roy DeMeo and his Gemini method, named after DeMeo's favorite hangout. It involved fully draining a corpse of blood to minimize mess before cutting it into tiny pieces. While Salvatore Riina eliminated his problems using a practice known as lupara bianca, which could involve dissolving victims in acid, feeding them to hogs, or even throwing them into a steel smelter. But none of these masters covered their tracks as painstakingly as Whitey Bulger. In case the body was discovered, he'd cut fingers off, pull out their teeth because someone's identity could be revealed through their dental records." (Narrator - Episode 5)

"- Whitey Bulger begins feeding Connolly tips on his rivals inside the Boston underworld, so federal agents can do his dirty work for him." (Narrator - Episode 5)

"- How do you keep your dirty secret from coming out? To keep it that way, nothing and no one was off-limits. This guy had no empathy for anybody, only for himself. He didn't care for on one, this guy. Whitey was always in full control of his environment. I've never seen him drink. He never socialized. He didn't mix with people. That's a vulnerability if you're doing the wrong thing. He was often thinking about, "Well, what if I do get charged?" "I should be prepared." (Brian - Episode 5)

"- Whitey had been planning for years for the curtain to fall on his show. The Whitey Bulger method for getting out of Dodge consists of a few key steps that any outlaw can follow. Step one, start saving early. Stash cash, jewelry, and fake passports in safe deposit boxes all over the globe. Step two, build aliases. Pay top dollar for fake IDs, birth certificates, and credit cards in various names, then use new identities to open bank accounts. Step three, find the perfect hiding place. Choose somewhere you can easily blend in, some place with turnover and tourism. Outsiders will be less likely to take note of your quirks. Once you've found your new hometown, it's onto the next step. Tell no one when, where, or how you're leaving. You'd be surprised how many people forget this one. Finally, it's time to make your getaway. But when you do, don't forget the most important rule of all for going underground, be ready for anything. It's one thing to make a clean getaway. Staying safe for the long haul will take genius-level execution. So much about being a mob boss is being somebody. You have to be at ease and make a transition to being unrecognized and unacknowledged, to being a nobody." (Episode 5)

"- He had political power, he was a hero within his community... he was ruthless with his enemies, very Machiavellian, and he was a good business guy. You don't make 30 billion by accident." (Michael - Episode 6)

"- From then on, all officers who cross Pablo's path will have a simple choice. Plata o plomo. Plata o plomo, it means silver or lead. You can either take money, or you can take a bullet. It was an offer that on one could refuse." (Asha - Episode 6)

"- But if you want to go far, go as a team. Because together everyone achieves more. Mob bosses have to have strategic alliances with other mob bosses 'cause they're all working for that same successful outcome, right? To make money." (Narrator - Episode 6)

"- By the mid-1980s, Pablo Escobar was making a million dollars a day." (Narrator - Episode 6)

"- But when you're running an illegal empire, your growing bankroll is going to draw ever more unwanted attention. High-level criminals understand the benefit of having public opinion behind them. If you can get that community support behind you, people tend to maybe not look at the fact that you're doing things that are illegal. When you have the will of the people on your side, you're a winner. That's how you beat government." (Steve - Episode 6)

"- I prefer a tomb in Colombia to a jail cell in the United States." (Pablo Escobar - Episode 6)

"- At least the Mafia is not looking to pull wool over everybody's eyes." (Episode 6)

#how to become a mob boss #mob boss #escobar #pablo escobar #quote #quotation #citation #quotes

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manicgaypoet · 11 months

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BOTOX AND BULLSH*T

Some people are so poor

They only have money

Some have a face of an angel

And then the consciousness of a devil

He's got a nice body

But he's far from a model

He drives a Lux car

Inside you'll find maxed credit cards and Moscato

There's something we need to talk about

I'll lay it out plain and simple

And if I come off as rather hostile

Just know it's because I heard from some people

That you think it's okay to Label my family as evil,

Then say they don't love me because in life so far

All I have been an unsuccessful lazy millennial

That wasn't enough hurt though

You wanted to cut deeper

So you Told my boyfriend that I was cheating

Talking crazy like that has me thinking

Your prescription might need a refill

Or maybe you need some inpatient

You're in your own world, living in a house of denial

You Think you're a pop star

Because you were in a boy band in high school

But that boy band didn't last long

Because it was beyond fucking awful

You are so stuck in your glory days and still telling people you're going to be the next big thing

I think it's great for people to have dreams of

I would never put somebody down

for having aspirations

Goals and milestones

And a plan in place to achieve

That's called having dreams

but you're just having delusions

Thinking that this life of fame and fortune

is going to fall in your lap while you sit at home and watch the real housewives

It was always so embarrassing to be with you

Out in public, when you'd brag about your Instagram followers and musical talents

If your followers came naturally Because

Your content was quality and

piqued some curiosity

Then it would not drive me so far away from my sanity

But that's hardly the case

Your followers are paid for

Anyone can do it if they have

a credit card and a cellphone

You're just a wannabe influencer

You can't even make a facial expression

With all those injections, your face It's now frozen

Is that why you're always making fun of people?

Is it to make yourself feel bigger and superior?

Deep down inside, do you ever feel like a monster?

Your blackout drunk

most nights to hide from The reality

that your life's becoming a tragedy

With all that Botox in your lips

It must not be that easy

To suck your sugar daddies off

So you can get that new Gucci

To prance around town Like your life's in order

And everything's perfect and peachy

While you hide behind Gucci, Tiffany,

and a bottle of liquor

You are a monster in disguise as

Someone you can confide in

You lie, and you steal from your friends

while you tell them you love them

You will spill all of their secrets

Right after you promised them you wouldn't

You are a backstabbing bully, self-centered lunatic

Have you ever gotten down on your knees for god

And asked for forgiveness

For the pain and hurt you caused

Not only in me

There's a long list, and it goes on

One thing you're good at is leading people on

Make them believe your kind and genuine

Your true colors have shown

I see green and black scales

You're a snake in the lawn

Slithering along

On the Prowl for your next victim

So many people told me to stay away from you

They told me you're bad news

But Im stubborn and didn't see them through

instead, I trusted and defended you

Never again will someone turn me into a fool

Even though you are just some plastic

That's not even worth recycling

It goes in the trash can

I have to thank you for one thing,

which is teaching me how to identify

Toxic people and

I learned from my mistakes

And I think you should try it

Maybe for once, you would use some god damn logic

And not go around causing Chaos

I'm starting to believe that you don't want to change

A thing about the way you go about your days

That's my Que to leave

I've seen and heard more than I wanted

Cheers to the end of your taking me for granted

This friendship is over for good, and I mean it

Could you not call me to talk

Or text me trying to fix this

No, we can't be cordial, and time won't heal us

Im so beyond done dealing with

Your Botox and Bullshit

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raggaraddy · 3 years

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Little Lie

Summary: You just wanted to go to a party, but Jimin is determined to make sure everyone knows you are his.

Trigger warning: Smut, yandere themes, non-con, abuse, facial.

Jimin

Yandere! Jimin Playboy! Jimin

"Jimin," you whine, both from pleasure and from frustration. You were trying to be mad at him, but right now you were struggling to remember your own name.

You had been getting ready to go to your friend's party this afternoon. It would be the first time in months you'd be going out without him because he has a family event tonight that you were not invited to. He wasn't thrilled about the idea but after much convincing, he agreed to let you go.

While you were almost ready to leave, Jimin had started pawing at you, groping you. You had dealt with this mood of his 100 times before and it was always easier and quicker just to give him what he wanted than to argue with him.

Soon, he was rocking his hips against you, pressing you hard into the kitchen table. You were moaning and moving with him. The both of you pushing the other to climax. Crying his name and clinging to him as he filled you.

As he pulls out of you you need to clamp your thighs shut. He came so much that you can feel it flowing down your thighs and onto the table in an instant. Kissing you again and again he stretches your dress lower, helping you back onto the floor. The movement further making his release drip from inside you, the top of your thighs becoming slick.

Noting your discomfort, he has a striking grin plastered on his face, looking calmed and euphoric in the afterglow while he watches you run your hands down your outfit.

"Come on, let's go. I'll take you to see your ex-boyfriend." He suddenly says taking your hand.

"What?" you mutter, looking across his face for an explanation.

"He's going to be there, right?" he smirks.

"Ah," you stutter, searching for a response.

Of course, you knew your ex would be going, but you had decided it was best to lie just a little to avoid any conflict or trouble. Not even really a lie, just omitting certain facts. Plus, it's not like you had feelings for your ex anymore. You more than likely wouldn't even talk to him during the night. But you knew Jimin wouldn't like it and you didn't want to risk not being allowed to go tonight.

Unfortunately for you, since your friends had started getting ready early, they were already posting pictures online. Whether it was out of curiosity, boredom, or because he was checking up on you, while you were showering Jimin was scrolling through their feed when he saw your ex-boyfriend in a few of the pictures.

And as he often did, Jimin pushed rational thinking aside and assumed that you were lying to him because you had feelings for this other man.

"Let's go. I'll drop you off," he says again. Nervously you accept his hand, unable to read his mood under the bright smile he has on. Right away he starts leading you towards the front of the house.

"I'm not going to talk to him. I'm going for everyone else, not him." You try to reassure him.

"Okay," he unexpectedly shrugs it off. Sounding unbothered.

"You're not mad?" You ask tepidly receiving a shake of the head.

"Nope. I want you to have fun, Y/n."

You can't believe how decent he is being. You were certain the night was about to be ruined for you. But here he is adverting your expectations. Letting you go off by yourself, even after everything.

Stopping at the entrance toilet, you pull from him only to have your arm snatched back and to be held in place.

"Nuh-uh." he draws you towards the front door again.

"Huh?" you tug back fighting through your confusion. Forcing a small smile to match his energy. "Jimin, I need to clean up," you explain with a small glow of embarrassment on your cheeks.

"No, you don't. You're perfect like this." he chuckles, leaning into you kissing you softly.

"But," You look up at him with a pout and furrowed brows. "there is cum running down my legs," you whisper.

"Good." His arms wrap around you tightly, his fingers digging into your skin. He kisses you again, grinning with a chuckle.

"What?" You're sure he can't be serious. There has to be some kind of misunderstanding. "No, I'm going to get cum on my dress, and it's too short. People will see." you try again to clarify, looking up at him utterly puzzled.

"Good," he repeats.

You're flustered. You don't want to go out like this. There is no way he can mean it. It would be so embarrassing if anyone noticed.

"Stop! I know you're just trying to make me stay home." You scold.

Out of space to resist, you reluctantly let him push his tongue into your mouth. You're certain Jimin has to be angry. He is being so stubborn and crude right now. However, he is also being very affectionate and bubbly. Which is not just making you confused but also frustrated by his unreasonableness.

Breaking the kiss, he keeps peppering small ones along your jaw until his mouth comes to your ear. "No, I'm not. I'll take you there right now."

"Jimin. I'm not going there like this!" you yell, shaking your head trying to make him listen to you.

Laughing, he ignores you, only continuing to yanks you and drag you out the front door, crushing your hand and forcing you to take large steps to keep pace with him.

By the time he shoves you into the passenger side, your dress, thighs, and now his car seat are a sticky mess. You yank on the door handle as soon as it shuts, but it doesn't open. Jimin had flicked on the child lock when he pushed you in.

You're starting to panic. You have to get him to stop. He is going to humiliate you. And on top of everything you haven't even got your jacket, purse, shoes, or underwear. It's just you and your thigh-high black dress. He is really about to put you out there, in front of all of your friends, while you're exposed like this. Even if you were to rush to the bathroom right away, you'd have to get there first. Which means there is too high a risk that someone would notice.

"Jimin! Stop being a dick!" you snap as soon as he opens his door, trying to sound authoritative. "Let me out. I am not playing anymore."

He slides in beside you, slamming his door loudly, smacking his hands against the steering wheel. Remaining determined, you do your best not to let his aggressive movements intimidate you. Honestly, you'd almost rather he hit you right now because you know he wouldn't let you go out with a black eye.

"You wanted to sneak out and see your ex, Angel. So let's go see him." the smile in his eyes goes cold. His tone becoming distant.

"Oh for the love of-" you roll your eyes. "So what? Your plan is to mark your territory by making me see him with your cum all over me? Stop being pathetic!"

"Pathetic?!" he hisses.

His eyes go dark as he lunges at you across the centre console. You jerk back, banging into the door and window to try to avoid him. But you don't have a chance. Pressing his body weight into you, he keeps you trapped in the corner by digging his forearms across your throat. You thump your palms into his side, into his face, hoping to get him off you but no amount of struggling seems to phase him.

Prying his free hand between your thighs, he forces his fingers into you roughly, pushing them deep, curling them inside you.

"Ji-" you gasp from pain as Jimin pumps a third finger inside you. "Stop, it hurts!" you scream.

"Let's see," he pauses, pulling out of you. "if any of them," he brings his wet hand up and smacks it to your cheek, rubbing and smothering his cum over all your face. "want you after this."

Finally, he lets loose your throat, dropping back into his seat with a snicker.

Frozen, panting in the corner, you're staring straight ahead in shock at what he just did. At what he just said. Tears spring to your eyes, horrified by his plan.

He can't make you go out like this.

Yanking on the handle again, trying to lower the power windows, you have no better luck than before.

He starts the car, pulling on the road. A satisfied smirk smile on his face.

You wipe at your cheeks, your lips, your forehead. But the more you try to clear, the more it spreads and drys on your skin.

You had been trying so hard to hide from your friends how badly Jimin treats you. You'd gotten questions here and there about some of the bruises you had on your arms and legs, but you'd always managed to explain them away. But after this. After he kicks you out of the car looking like some kind of abuse victim, they'll never look at you the same.

"Jimin." You cry. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry baby." you lean over the seat stroking his arm, trying to get him to lighten up. To change his mind. "Please. Please don't make me go. Please." you beg, tears pouring out of you.

But your pleas fall on deaf ears.

"Don't worry Angel," he turns to you, once more with a dazzling smile on his face. "we're just gonna show you around for a little bit. Then I'll bring you home."

#bts #yandere bts #bts fanfic #yandere #bangtan #yandere bangtan #bts smut #yandere jimin #bts jimin #park jimin #bangtan smut #bangtan fanfic #bangtan reactions

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gaybarbiegirl · 2 years

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Hey so I'm not usually one to make long analysis posts about just media in general (my long analysis posts are usually about specific pieces of media that I enjoy), but lately I've been seeing a lot of debate about wheter or not it is empowering for fictional women to be both physically strong and traditionally feminine and I wanna share my thoughts about it.

First of all, I think it's important to keep in mind that the trope these strong AND feminine characters are seen as an improvement of isn't the butch action hero - these have never existed in any significant quantity in mainstream media - but the nlog/cool girl action hero. I'm sure you know the type. The female character who was either raised by her dad or had five older brothers, who only had traditionally masculine interests, and who scoffed at the though of anything that was seen as feminine, including other women. This was the common place strong female character in the 2000s and the early 2010s, but ever since the not like other girls mentality started to get more criticism than praise, she's been slowly replaced by the strong AND feminine character who has become the new norm when it comes to strong women in fiction. I'm not a media or marketing analyst, but what I'm guessing happened is that writers and studio executives probably noticed that audiences were growing unhappy with female heroes whose main personality trait was how strongly they insisted in separating themselves from the rest of the female population, and so this new wave of strong+feminine characters came as a response to that. These characters aren't trying to separate themselves from other women, see? They like girly things like dresses and make up and the color pink, they don't have a disdain for femininity, and they do see themselves as girls! But the thing is, these characters aren't actually a big improvement because they're still falling victim to the same mistake that generated the nlog action girl, which is conflating womanhood with femininity.

Just think about it. The nlog action girl hated femininity - she hated wearing dresses, hated fashion, hated the expectation palaced on her to be delicate and sweet, hated every interest and activity that was deemed as feminine. She wanted to fully separate herself from femininity, and how did she do that? By separating herself from womanhood entirely. You'd often see these characters rolling their eyes whenever another female character dared to open her mouth, being full on condescending and rude to other women, and regularly parroting sexist statements that made it clear they didn't see themselves as women. From "women are crazy!" to "do I look like a regular girl?", or even a joking "eh, women..." whenever another female character got rightfully angry with one of the nlog action girl's male companions, it was clear that these women did not think of themselves as women at all. And of course, this all comes back to the writers. If you believe that femininity is the essence of women and womanhood, then of course a female character who isn't feminine can't be written as a full woman. How could she be?

And of course, as a woman, it's bloodcurling to have the supposed heroes that you're meant to look up to be people who have an open disdain for you. That's not what anyone wants. Women want female heroes who stand up for other women instead of putting them down, and who embrace their own womanhood instead of hiding it in a pathetic attempt to be seen as "one of the guys". But again, we come back to the writers, who believe that femininity = womanhood, and so can think of no better way to write a strong woman who embraces her womanhood then by writing a strong woman who embraces femininity. She kicks ass in dresses and heels, her eyeliner is sharp enough to kill a man, and instead of dropping quirky misogynistic one liners, she drops quirky pop feminism one liners that basically all boil down to "girl power!". It looks like an improvement, and in a way it kind of is - I'd rather have female heroes who at the very least see themselves as women than female heroes who spend their entire screentime parroting misogynistic men - but it's not a meaningful one. The root of the problem is still very much there, and these are just two sides of the same coin, really. Side one says "hey ladies, if you want to be strong and unfeminine, you have to essentially give up on being a woman", side two says "hey ladies, if you want to be strong and still be seen as a woman, you have to be totally feminine", and the notion that being a woman boils down to being feminine still goes completely unchallenged.

What would be really progressive would be an influx of female characters who are both strong and unfeminine and never have their womanhood put into question. Women who are allowed to give up femininity without separating themselves from women as a class, without looking down on us or rejecting us, without siding with misogynists. Women who fully embrace their own womanhood while still rejecting all of the feminine standards tied to it. But sadly, given how rare these are, I don't really see this becoming a trend any time soon.

#sorry if this was long winded or rambly that's just how my brain works #but hopefully you get my point #also it should go without saying that the nlog action girl was never actually fully unfeminine #like yeah sure she hated dresses and ~girly stuff~ but she still had a feminine presentation and 0 body hair and devoted herself to guys #she rejected the aspects of femininity that men sneer over but not the ones that men desire you know?#but yeah just trying a new type of post here i hope you guys enjoy the read

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samissosexyyy · 3 years

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Tumblr thought it would be hilarious to delete all my work and not let me answer requests :').

YES I SHALL WRITE THE PLATONIC ANGRY PARENTS-

And thank you-I woke up and was talking to my friend in the morning and my brain just: jojo villain yandere dads. Mudad mudad mudad mudad anger.

Anyways, here they are- Do these even count as headcanons???? I dunno-

Dio, Part 1

Vampire form of course.

First thing first, We all know he'd be a great dad. Protective already, But make him a yandere platonic father? Oh boy, Trust me, You'd be spoiled and treated like royalty.

Now, I'm gonna say in this scenario you were on of his victims child. I'll say you'll be around 5 to eight.

Somehow you managed to catch his eye, Is it because your parent was just as bad as his? You reminded him of his mother? Or maybe you resemble him, and have three moles on your ear. Or, perhaps, A younger joestar? Either way, You somehow had him feeling like a father, and, according to one of my friends, Araki had said DIO would treat his children like they were royalty, And they would be so spoiled.

So, Mudad would end up taking you in, kidnapping, whichever honestly. He'd be holding you like a loving pet owner would, if you got scared, he'd probably be confused. Honestly he'd have you turned into a vampire quickly, as he knew he wouldn't be able to have children as a Vampire.

Truthfully, I think you'd end up never noticing how he'd occasionally pull you closer, or how he'd glare at anyone your age or older going near you. Or how he'd give you some strict rules, Like no dating anyone. E v e r. And why would you ever want to hurt your papa like that?! You wouldn't want to do that, right?! Of course you wouldn't! Dio knew you'd never betray him like that!!

Truth be told, he'd guilt you if you tried to go against his words. But punishments? No no, He'd never actually purposefully hurt you, Unlike his love interest, he'd NEVER want to cause you pain ever. He'd hate himself and wouldn't forgive himself for years. Centuries. Infact, he'd beg for your forgiveness.

The Pillarmen

And satannnaaaaa

First of all, You aren't a pillarchild. You'd most likely be some kind of god, vampire, or a young hamon learner. Or even related to the Joestars or Ceasar.

So, Let's say you're immortal who can walk in the sun. We all know you'd be the joestar side, Right? So, That means you'd end up hating or feeling pity for the pillarmen. First, You'd probably end up trying to make Santana hally when he awakens. Unlike with Joseph, He'd probably know not to attempt to attack you. Let's say you have symbols like Dio Over heaven, We all know how that would work.

You'd end up as a being worshipped by them, probably kidnapped after they destroy the Joestars.

Let's say they defeated Joseph and the others, and you were still a deity, You'd most likely be weaker then them in this scenario. They'd probably treat you like a kitten at first, like a baby before they all felt a connection. As if you were a child of their own, so they'd give you rules. And we all know how rules go with yanderes.

Let's say uh- you fell for a mortal.

"No. No."

[Crush name has fallen from a high place.]

"DADS WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU-"

"NO CUSSING IN THIS CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!"

or something like that :')

Honestly, You'd have bird dad, and a bunch of other dads. Santana would honestly be like the cool big brother honestly. You'd probably want horns too so-

They would totally buy you halloween horns to put on your head so you'd be happy baby

Now, Hamon user? They'd probably find you like a cute animal at first, probably going easy on you like it was a game of tag. Soon, they'd realize how weak and fragile you are, After all, You are just starting hamon. They'd probably kidnap you to spite Joseph and his side at first, before... Well, You didn't expect to become a vampire and treated like royalty when all you've been treated like is uh... Considering Lisalisa is your coach, I'd say you'd be happy if it was someone else doing this for you.

Josephs sibling? WOAH Joseph, When did you get a cute sibling? Pfft, Not your sibling anymore, They just adopted your ex sibling nerd.

But, All jokes aside, They'd probably be surprised that you were more mature then your brother, and...you sorta resemble a certain Coach... Oh, Humans all look the same, haha.

They'd probably kidnap you infront of Joseph just to make him feel guilt and rage, After all, Why not get their prized treasure and make Joseph angry? They'd give you more rules, until Joseph was gone, of course.

And, sadly, Not even you crying would stop them from making you into a vampire infront of your big brother, breaking both of your hearts.

Don't worry you got ice cream later smh.

Ceasars sibling? Mini pancake? Haha, They'd kidnap you as soon as they felt parent like tendencies. No denying them, infact, they'd make sure you saw ceasar get defeated by the ro ck. But don't worry! You have new parents and a brother-! Haha, Poor you.

Part 3 DIO AKA mudad!

Honest to god you'd probably have to be a stand user with a weak or strong stand, or, you were one of his kids he had with a lucky woman who survived and got a naked polaroid of him as a 'wow you lived! Congrats, now go have my kid lmao' gift. Or, Maybe you were a normal kid who was kind to him, even if he,,,, did some questionable murder infront of you. And maybe you were a young

Now, Let's say you were a strong stand user. He'd end up wanting to use a flesh bud until he realized... He never had a kid, that he knows of, and decided to raise you! At first he'd be upset you had a strong stand like your mudad, but realized you could protect yourself from those dreadful joestars! Congrats, You became a Brando! :) How unlucky, Considering this DIO would probably force vampire masks onto you, or even using fleshbuds as a threat. Either way, You'll always be papas baby!

Yoshikage kira.

Like I said in my first post of this, He'd want to have a nice average life. You having a stand wouldn't be a problem, Since he'd probably convince you Josuke and the others are awful and rude.

Josukes sibling? Well, He'd end up telling you he can help your brother with his murder issue if you come with him. You don't exactly have a choice since Killer queen would easily overpower you if you had disagreed. You'd end up being a normal and peaceful child before long, Infact, He'd have to pretend he had adopted you behind his 'wifes' back.

Hayotos friend he never talks about? Congrats, You are now stuck with a crazy and loving father! And a mother, I suppose. And you get your best friend as a brother! You'd never be able to leave, how sad. But, You'd have your new mom and your dad to talk to-! And killer queen cuddle time.

Now, Let's say you were his own kid. Wowzers! You think its normal for your father to bring women hands home, after all, You are pretty young and your father told you most adults do this. Ah. How enjoyable.

Doppio/Diavolo

Oh dear. You poor child.

Either you were related to trish, and he somehow felt like you wouldn't be a problem before they felt more of a father love towards you, Most likely somehow getting rif of the traitors and your big sister.

"Where's big sister?"

"Don't worry about her, She's spending time with your mother."

Smh quit LIEING you jERK!

But seriously, Doppio would be like the fun mom asking you if you'd like bake cupcakes in his spare time! Read you bed time stories and whatnot! Diavolo would be awkward and "wanna play baseball or whatever kids like to do these days?" Awkward dad alert.

"My kid is fine!"

The kid they kidnapped/raised:

Casually trying to beat another kid with a baseball.❤💚💛

Honestly they'd insult everyone elses kids while here their kid is, casually scared of baseball.

Pucci

Papa priest! We all know he'd adopt you! I head canon him as gay, considering DIO and him were totally a thing.

So, He'd probably have you study Lord DIO bibles, and casually have you hate Jolyne. Probably even give you a stand, And even show you that DIO is the best! Worship! Protect yourself and all that!

Jotaro would probably scare you, so I can see you holding onto Pucci while Jotaro appears anytime, so pucci would infact love it when you snuggle onto him lime a cute kitten. Hell, you even Sneeze like a kitten!

Honestly You'd be kept under watch 24/7, but you'd think it was normal, after all, Your father would mever do something so awful like Those Joestars claim...right?

Diego

Oh wow- dino dad :)

Let's say you were a big fan of his, Then, Well,You wouldn't mind having him as a dad, Now would you? He is your idol, Right? Yeah. Yeah!

He'd probably carry you around upside down, Hot pants just questioning his sanity as he drops you a million times. Hot pants would probably end up carrying you most of the time.

Mama hot pants and father Diego. Y es.

And, Let's say you were traveling with Johnny. Congrats. You've put yourself in a even worse situation considering Diego would become worried and paranoid over those two idiots hurting you! And he hates the idea of his baby boy/girl/child being hurt by barbarians!!!

Even though he'd probably hurt you on accident if I'm gonna be honest.

Kidnapping isn't a very easy job, so of course he had to knock you out! What was he supposed to do?! Ask you to come stay with him forever?! No! Maybe! HuawhuKaia-

Honestly not too many rules, just don't leave his side ever! Except when going to the bathroom. You'll be tied to his horse. No whining >:(.

Funny Valentine

Honestly what did you think he was going to do? Pick some random child? No no, He'd choose the PERFECT child! You were so lucky! Wow! The daughter of the mos powerful man ever! Lucky you, Right?

No. You don't get alone time unless it's you sleeping or bathing. You wear what he wants, and no.

Dating not allowed. Bad. No no no no no.

"No. No dating. Your lips will fall off."

"but mommys lips didn't-"

"Your face will melt off."

Basically you'd be bossed around and treated like royalty, as long as you listen to you dad!

Honestly I don't know if this is headcanons, if if it isn't feel free to scream at me in the comments-

AND I AM SO SORRY ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY ANSWER, SO I HOPE YOU SEE THIS AND ARE ABLE TO ENJOY IT??? I GUESS???

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bruhstories · 3 years

Text

Bloodlust

Summary: You were a rookie Jashinist with a dark secret, he was a demented shinobi with a desire to slaughter anything and everything for his god. Pairing: Hidan x Fem!Reader (canon verse) Warnings & Content: dark content - minors dni, language, blood kink, kidnapping, murder, oral sex (male receiving), vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, knives, human sacrifice, cult-like behaviour, religious fanatism, Reader and Hidan are... insane, slight gore. Word Count: 2.8 k

A/N: Read those tags carefully. Hidan's not exactly a warm and fuzzy character.

"Please, let me go... I won't tell anyone." You peeled your lips open, dry from all the crying and lack of hydration, hairs stuck to your sweaty forehead.

"Let you go? But... you came here willingly." He sneered, flashing you his teeth.

He was right. You joined the Jashinists thinking they were a liberal religion, preaching freedom and anarchy, but you did not expect sadism and human sacrifices. And you didn't expect to fall in love with Hidan — the most vile man you've ever encountered. Not that he knew that, anyway. He couldn't possibly fathom the idea that a sweet thing like you could love a man like him. But you weren't a saint.

"T-then why are you doing this to m-me?" You breathed, the ropes around your wrists cutting the blood circulation in your hands.

Hidan clicked his tongue and placed his scythe on the floor. "Because I can." He picked up a knife — no, a kunai. "And because you wanted to run away."

Ah, there it was. You decided to leave this cult when Hidan prompted you to kill some poor ninja he'd kidnapped a few days ago. You refused, expecting to be left alone, and now you were the sacrifice.

"I t-told you, I- I only kill those who deserve it."

"Everyone deserves it, Y/N. Especially traitors." Hidan traced the blade over your exposed abdomen, goosebumps dotting your skin and you were ashamed to admit that it made you feel... something.

"So, you're just g-going to kill m-me?"

"Don't be sad. You'll make a fine fucking sacrifice for Jashin."

"Please, Hidan, give m-me another c-chance." Tears pooled at your eyes. Death was not on your list, not now, and especially not at his hands.

"You know we don't give second chances." The blade was now between your tits, the tip slowly poking into your skin. Crimson droplets seeped from the fresh wound. It stung like a bitch, and it made you whimper, but the heat in your cunt signalled your arousal.

"You d-don't, but Jashin does." You whispered, and Hidan was completely taken aback.

"Excuse you?"

"Every t-time you failed to kill someone, hengave you another c-chance." You spat at him. "What m-makes you think he won't g-give me one?"

Confused wouldn't even begin to describe what he felt. Hidan blinked slowly, trying to comprehend the question before he dropped the kunai and left without a word.

You didn't know exactly how much time passed since he left. By this point you couldn't feel your fingers and the room began to spin, head dizzy from exhaustion. The door swung open and you shot your head up, startled by the sudden intrusion. Hidan walked in with a terrifying look on his face and bent down to grab the blade. He slashed the first rope and your hand fell limp by your hip.

"You're lucky he's a benevolent god." He slashed the second rope and your knees hit the cold, hard floor. Fear, happiness and anxiety coiled in your stomach, surprised that you have, indeed, been given a second chance.

"You talked to him?" You shook your wrists to get the blood flowing, eyes finding his.

"Yes, and surprisingly he likes you. Says you have potential." His voice went up an octave when uttering the last word in what seemed to be sarcasm.

Still on the floor, you arched a brow. "Do you doubt his judgement?" You suspected it was a mistake to ask that question, because in a split second Hidan yanked your hair and pulled your head back to look at him upside-down.

"I'll die before I doubt the good lord. Who I doubt is you." He pierced your soul with his sangria eyes, chills running down your spine, stopping in-between your thighs. You hated the effect he had over you, you hated that he was so oblivious to your hints, only focused on Jashin. Always Jashin.

Granted, Jashin did offer Hidan immortality, which was something you could only dream of. You were a pathetic civilian with a knack for medical jutsu, but never properly trained. He was a full-fledged shinobi who could snap your neck like a twig if he wanted to. And he wanted to.

But, the word of Jashin was law for Hidan. As much as he wanted to sacrifice you to his beloved god, he had to refrain himself, fearing punishment for his sins. And as much as he hated to admit it, you shared and valued the same goals of Jashinism — to a certain extent. You were down to slaughter people, but only those who deserved it, and apparently to Jashin that was enough. But not to Hidan. Never to Hidan.

"Jashin says I have potential, it's not up to you to talk back." You mustered up some courage after your wounds healed. That medical jutsu thing you practised for self-healing really came in handy when Hidan had violent outbursts and Kakuzu wasn't there to put him in his place. Shame you didn't know how to use it to heal others.

"Listen here, you little bitch, just because you've been pardoned now doesn't mean I'll hesitate to stab your tits when you disobey the lord." He let go of your hair and you leaned forward, palms on the floor to stop you from falling. "Besides, you're gonna have to prove yourself. Again."

You knew exactly what he meant. You had to kill. And Hidan wasn't one to let you off the hook — you'd have to kill someone innocent, and the idea of performing such a sacrifice made your stomach churn, it made you want to throw up, because you knew you'd enjoy it. Murdering someone deserving felt like a chore, like something natural. But the thought of killing someone undeserving made your heart flutter, your cunt burn and your head hazy with a high so addictive, no drug in the world could compare to it.

"Don't make me kill someone, please."

"Oh, spare me of your holier-than-thou bullshit. You either kill or be killed, Y/N. Now let's get to fucking work." Hidan bruised your arm in the process of 'helping' you up, unaware of the pleasant surprise that lurked within you. Because if he knew the real you, he'd probably question his own sanity — and that's something he'd never done. The real you was obscene, twisted and demented, long before you discovered Jashinism, but you tried to bury that part of you deep down. You seemingly succeeded, focusing your bloodlust on anarchy and overthrowing the Tsuchikage with a group of punk teenagers from your village, Iwagakure.

Until you met Hidan.

"I really don't want to do this." You pleaded with the silver-haired man, hands trembling and eyes watery.

"Kill him, Y/N." Hidan rolled his eyes, the blades of his scythe pressing into your back as you pressed your kunai into the victim's neck. "Kill him or I kill you."

"Alright, alright, I'll do it. But give me some space."

"Tch, pretentious bitch." He stepped aside, watching you carefully.

"More space." You demanded and he took another step back with an impatient look on his face.

"There's only one exit to this cave. If you think, for a fucking second, that you walk out of here alive you're wrong. Unless you kill him." Hidan licked his lips. "Jashin demands a sacrifice. Now."

You looked down at the symbol drawn with the victim's blood, then back at the man in front of you. His eyes were wide open and filled with tears, arms chained to then wall of the cave. He frantically shook his head, saliva dripping from his gag as he prayed for salvation.

"I'm so sorry." You spoke — not sorry for the victim, but for yourself and what you'd become after this day. Slender fingers lifted his chin upwards and with one swift movement, you slit open the skin, blood gushing out, spraying your face, neck and cleavage. "Fuck..." You moaned, the hot crimson liquid dripping down your chin.

"See, it wasn't so bad." Hidan elbowed you but you didn't move, instead, you gripped the blade handle tightly and drove it into the victim's abdomen, more blood spluttering on you when you removed it. "Oh, you want more?" The rogue shinobi quirked a brow, content with your choice. Adrenaline and arousal rushed through your veins and you dropped the kunai, the clanging echoing in the cave.

"Hidan..." You trailed off, tentatively unzipping your black cloak. "I want you to fuck me."

The silver-haired man watched you smear the blood over your exposed tits, his cock twitching in his pants. Finally, he realised just how beautiful you truly were, the pure ecstasy on your face igniting a flame in his core.

"Here?" He asked, somewhat surprised by your request.

"Yes, please." You turned around to face him, and the look on his face told you just how impressed he was.

"Now aren't you just so full of surprises? And here I thought you were just some goodie two-shoes who refused to harm people." Hidan removed his Akatsuki cloak, letting it fall to the ground, allowing you to see just how hard he was. You bit on your lower lip, the metallic taste was pure bliss in your mouth. "You filthy, disgusting whore." He sneered, his lips crushing yours in a shameful, euphoric kiss. The moment his tongue touched the blood in your mouth, his skin began to darken, his body linking with the victim's, meaning he hasn't died yet.

"Isn't he going to feel everything?" You pulled back from the kiss, but your voice wasn't in any way concerned about the man chained to the wall.

"Oh, he's going to feel it, alright." Hidan laughed, his hand pushing your head as you lowered yourself down your knees. Fingers tugged at the waistband of his pants and you pulled down both of the layers, his cock slapping your face. "Suck."

You obediently parted your lips, taking the velvety tip into your mouth, tongue swirling around it before you moved to his shaft. Hidan threw his head back, his fingers tangling in your hair as you bobbed your head back and forth, your moans music to his ears. The gurgling sounds coming from the victim told you that he, indeed, felt everything Hidan felt and your twisted mind enjoyed it so fucking much. You picked up the pace, earning grunts and growls from the rogue shinobi before he held your head in place, stuffing your mouth and throat with his thick cock until you dug your fingers in his thigh, desperately trying to breathe.

"Jashin was right to give you a second chance." Hidan released you and you gasped for air. "You're his gift for me."

The blood on your body dried out, but you were just as beautiful. You leaned on your back, spreading your legs for him. It was a smart decision not to wear anything underneath your cloak. The silver-haired man kneeled between your thighs, his hands bruising your skin with rough touches before he found your dripping cunt.

"Shit, Y/N, you're soaking wet." He shoved two fingers between your folds, curling them upwards. You squirmed and moaned, desperate for something bigger.

"S-skip the foreplay and fuck m-me!" You begged but Hidan wasn't one to listen. He thrusted his fingers in and out of you, enjoying the way you thrashed and moaned his name, enjoying the way you arched your back with every movement.

"You're so beautiful." He confessed and you were caught off guard. It was the first time he ever said something nice to you, let alone compliment you. "You really are a sight for sore fucking eyes." Hidan removed his fingers but before you could say anything, he shoved them in your mouth. "Don't you taste like a needy slut?"

You nodded with lidded eyes, cheeks hollowed as you sucked the slick off of fingers. Hidan hovered over you, his cock grazing over your slit and aching clit, then kissed you with so much force and passion you almost couldn't breathe.

"Fuck, you taste good." He grabbed his shaft and pushed the tip painstakingly slowly between your folds. Oh, he was so much bigger than you expected, but you quickly got accustomed to his girth, mouth agape and eyes rolled back in pleasure.

"Shit- Hidan!" You bucked your hips, legs wrapping around his waist as he wrapped his calloused fingertips around your neck.

"Jashin damn it, you are so tight. You're not a fucking virgin, are you?"

You shook your head, fingernails digging into his back and the victim gurgled again. Hidan released the grip from your neck, instead holding you by the hips and frenziedly pulling you onto his cock. It was sinful, degrading and demented, and his brutal, animalistic thrusts only turned you on more. The sound of skin against skin, growls and moans echoed in the cave, and soon enough Hidan's bone-like markings faded. You didn't care, he was still buried into your cunt, but the thrill of having your pussy obliterated next to a dying man dissipated, replaced by the pure lust Hidan radiated.

"Fuck, I'm-"

"No, you're not. Not until I fucking allow it." The silver-haired man pulled out and you cried, literal tears pooling at your eyes as you were on the brink of an orgasm. "You've been a bad, bad, girl, denying Jashin, denying slaughter, denying me." He gave your cunt a firm slap which vibrated through your entire body, ending with a whimper.

"Y-you have n-no idea how m-much I want you, Hidan." You squeezed your thighs together for a crumb or friction, but he forcefully pushed your knees to the sides.

"Then you should listen. See what a good job you've done today?" He tilted his head to the chained corpse.

"You d-don't understand... I've g-got an insatiable bloodlust." You admitted, but you knew he'd only be more intrigued.

"That's exactly why you've been drawn to Jashinism." Hidan flipped you over, and you were down on all fours. He pushed his cock back in you with one deep thrust, earning another moan out of you. "Embrace it, Y/N. You and I can do great things together, for him."

"But it's wrong." You whispered and you could feel his arm slithering around your neck, pulling you closer to him.

"And who told you that? Society? Your parents? Nah, I'll be your daddy from now on." His fat cock brushed against your cervix, your silken walls clenching around it as he fucked you harder. "You wanna come, don't you?"

"Oh, yes!"

"Yes, what?" Hidan tightened the grip, your back against his chest.

"Yes, daddy! Please, I want it, I want it!" You whimpered.

"And are you going to give Jashin everything he wants?"

It was decided — Hidan stripped you of any speck of humanity or rationality you had left in you. You loved him, after all, and he loved Jashin.

"Yes, I will! Jashin can have anything he wants as long as I have you."

"Good girl." He kissed your head before releasing your neck, hands gripping your hips to hold you in place. "Nowyou can come."

Your cunt was aching for release, and you mustered enough strength to rub your clit in messy, circular motions. Soon enough, you felt it coming — the rush of adrenaline as Hidan fucked into you, fingers pinching your sore nipples. You came on his cock with a soft moan and with one final, violent thrust he fills you up, cum dripping from your sloppy cunt as he pulls out. You rolled on your back, propping yourself on your elbows and Hidan froze, the sight of your used and abused pussy hypnotising him.

"Like what you see?" You grinned, fingers tentatively grazing over your slit, dipping between your folds before you brought them to your mouth to taste his seed.

"Shit, I think I'm in love." His sangria eyes bore into yours and your heart fluttered. You knew he was an asshole, and he probably only said it in the heat of the moment, but you were satisfied with what you got.

"What about him?"

"Meh, Kakuzu will take care of the mess. I wanna take a fucking bath." Hidan picked his red and black cloak up from the floor before getting up. "And I'm starving."

You pursed your lips and lowered your gaze. So much for being in love with you.

"You coming to the hot springs?"

"Me?"

"As much as I adore seeing you covered in blood, that shit's dry and crusty." He threw you your cloak.

"You wanna take a bath... with me?"

"Yes? The fuck are you acting so surprised? I just said I'm in love with you but you're surprised I wanna take a bath with you?"

"You know what, stop talking." You rolled your eyes and got up.

"I think the fuck not."

"Fuck's sake, Hidan, let's go."

"Fuckin' crazy bitch."

#hidan #naruto fic #hidan x reader #hidan x y/n #hidan x you #hidan smut #naruto smut #tw. blood #tw. knives #tw. murder

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Saint & Leilani

Saint: How's it going? 🙂 Leilani: it's going as expected Saint: I know how to answer questions without saying anything, remember Saint: you can't fool me Leilani: I was relying on the 😇 thing to do being you pretending you believed me Saint: You'd think so, but the issue lies in if that would require me to leave you in discomfort Saint: which would be nothing but the worst manners Saint: okay, what's one thing that's been okay and what's one thing that I could help make a bit better? Leilani: the kids are extremely adorable in their costumes, I'm in support of that Leilani: & how many of the grown ups decided to go in on this too Leilani: but maybe I was hoping you were that kind of big brother & your other sisters & brothers weren't as young as they are Saint: The majority love an event, that's true Saint: I don't know if it's a genetic thing or a cultural, but it's always been like this Saint: I'm sure the twins would have you know they're very mature for their age Saint: 🤔 how about I introduce you to Mattie? Saint: She's about your age Leilani: 😅 yeah I'm considering taking one of them with me since you already made the offer Leilani: she's Jay's sister, right? Saint: Correct Saint: she's similarly more chilled out too Saint: maybe less adorable than the kids but she shouldn't object to hanging out, kidnap might be a step too far tonight but Leilani: I don't know, it's a good costume, some people would still say adorable Saint: 😅 Saint: a good opener Leilani: thanks, I'll use it Saint: 👍 have fun Saint: let me know what you think, and if I need to get my wings into gear and do more Leilani: [pretend she's been chatting to her for ages because I feel like they'd get on, soz she don't go to your school hun] Leilani: I am now so I guess your wings won't be falling off Saint: [always the way, at least you will have an ally at these functions] Saint: 😁😁😁 Leilani: take a 🍭 Saint: 😏 More counterintuitive than the sticker ⭐ Saint: definitely finding you a new dream before you wreck the 🦷 of every kid in Dublin just to fix them again Saint: very 😈 of you Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: maybe I'll become a vet if Grace agrees to the 🐱 Saint: What about the 🩸? Saint: though you seem to cope with the fake Leilani: oh yeah.... Leilani: I was only thinking about the 😁 parts again Saint: I do hate to be the 🌧 on your parade... Saint: it's pretty adorable how 🌤 you are Leilani: but you do need to step in there before I fully commit & get genuinely 🩸 splattered Saint: I can promise that without feeling I'm giving you unfair expectations Leilani: it'd be awkward if you had to take that costume off on account of being 😈 Saint: it really would Saint: the feathers aren't leaving much to the imagination as is 😬 Saint: no one wants that Leilani: you're not 👶🏽 enough to be running around without clothes Saint: Ahh Saint: so tough being the oldest Saint: suppose I should leave some 🍭 🍬 🍫 for the kids too? Leilani: I can't promise to fix your 🦷 either way Saint: I'll make sure to brush well tonight when I'm defeathering in the privacy of my own room Saint: I like your ears, by the way Leilani: I'll resist the urge to come & watch over you since you're the one who can fly & I'll never be a qualified dentist Leilani: thanks, I keep forgetting they're there so for a moment that was an unusual compliment Saint: I'll send you a picture if you like Saint: for evidence Saint: I'm sure your real ears are lovely too 😂 Leilani: what am I supposed to send you a picture back of, in line with you wanting to work for the government? Leilani: like, I could salute but that's getting into a weird girl guide territory Leilani: & I've never been camping Saint: Oh dear Saint: the less pictures I have of underage girls the better, I think Saint: too young for the scandal yet but best to start as I mean to go on Saint: my family aren't big campers, if you can believe it Saint: but I've been with my grandma, and for this young leaders thing I did last year Leilani: I probably shouldn't fill my phone with pictures of older boy's dazzling teeth either, my mum is very overprotective Leilani: was, I mean Leilani: maybe she'd come back & haunt me Saint: Potentially Saint: though I can try to assure her and you my teeth are not at all predatory, this might not come across as sincere with my pearly whites 😁😬 Leilani: if your teeth are harmless, you might need a dentist sooner than I could become one Saint: 🧛 gotcha Saint: okay, so not harmless, but your neck is safe Leilani: why do they bite their victims somewhere literally everyone can see? Leilani: I'd be more secretive if my goal was to live undetected forever in some moody castle Saint: You can cross vampire off your list too, you're clearly overqualified Saint: I think it's about that sweet, sweet jugular vein but there's plenty of others that are less of a Saint: 'look what I did' Leilani: maybe whoever wrote the 1st 🧛📕 didn't want to commit to going under the clothes Leilani: it was racy stuff already Saint: also potential code for same-sex relationships? Saint: but what wasn't 😅 Leilani: is Dracula gay? Leilani: good for him Saint: I think so? Saint: Unless I'm confusing my classics Leilani: I haven't read it before & I feel like if I do now everyone will think I'm going goth Saint: Not an impression you want to make? Leilani: not really Leilani: 🌤 > 🌧 Saint: we'll keep it secret or off the reading list Leilani: first rule of our new book club? okay Saint: You can think of the 2nd Leilani: there has to be some kind of limit on length, War & Peace is too heavy in every way Saint: which brings us nicely to rule number three then Saint: no Russian literature Leilani: 😅 Saint: but I'll leave it with the rules for now, this is a party after-all Saint: would you like a drink? Leilani: what can you offer me that's 🧃? Saint: [so the pub, 'cos always the pub, probably doesn't have sassy mocktails 'cos not the vibe but he can go make her one] Saint: any major allergies or dislikes I need to know? Leilani: no Leilani: you've got total freedom Saint: I like the sound of that Leilani: what are you drinking? Saint: [probably red wine, you seem the type, not getting crunk] Saint: 🍷 Saint: 🧛 of me Leilani: if you're coming out to me atm you have my unconditional love & support Saint: 😅 Saint: Thank you Saint: unnecessary but appreciated Leilani: oh then you want to do the most with the teeth cleaning for the pics you're sending later Leilani: I'm not 😤 Saint: As much as the before and after would be impressive Saint: you might feel a bit 🤢 Leilani: I've set myself up as way too squeamish here, I don't like the sound of that Leilani: I'm not like 🥀 Saint: it's your story to tell Saint: though I wouldn't accuse you of being a wilting wallflower type, for the record Leilani: please don't accuse me of anything on the record 😅 I'm not a Lolita type either Leilani: I haven't even had a boyfriend yet Saint: I think painting myself as that unreliable of a narrator would really undermine my public persona and the trust I aim to inspire Saint: is that purely because of having a protective mum or did your own thoughts and feelings come into that too? Saint: plus, technically, Nabokov was Russian, I don't know if we can read it? 🤔 Leilani: the behaviour of many boys my age came into it too Leilani: but maybe they'll be different at this school, your sister did say we're uncultured at my old one Saint: I can see that Saint: When did she say that? Leilani: 💬📱 Saint: 😕 Oh Saint: she can be quite Saint: blunt Leilani: it's okay, I know Saint: She doesn't always think before she speaks, which is definitely a bad habit Saint: but I'm sure she didn't mean that to sound so...that Leilani: I'm sure she put more than enough thought into everything she said Saint: I'm sorry Saint: I would talk to her, see why you got off on the wrong foot but I'm not so out of touch to not realize that would potentially do more harm than good Saint: I think she's insecure, for context, she didn't get into the school she wanted to go to Leilani: I know why, but I'm not sure I would've been able to approach it differently, even if I should've Saint: Is it strictly girl's business? Leilani: what does that even mean, St? 🤔 Saint: Well Saint: code for none of my business perhaps Saint: in this instance, at least Leilani: it's not becos you're a boy, it's becos you're her brother Saint: Okay Saint: if it helps, I know how she can be, and it's not because of you, it's a her thing Leilani: it doesn't help but that's more becos you tried to tell me how she could be & I rose to it anyway Saint: I could've been clearer Saint: I didn't want to seem like I was insinuating you couldn't talk to her, or something like that Saint: and I don't want to talk badly about anyone, even if it is at times warranted, she's not, you know Saint: 👿 Leilani: I found out for myself, that's the fairest way Leilani: & I'm sure I overreacted once I was 😤 Saint: I know it would make this easier, if you were to get on Saint: but just know you're under no obligation to Saint: with any of us Saint: if nothing else, I can assure she'll give you a wide berth if she has nothing pleasant to say Leilani: maybe we will in the 2nd attempt Leilani: my moods are all over Saint: Now that is girl stuff, correct? 😏 Saint: it's very possible Leilani: that's getting into weird 🧛 territory Leilani: I meant becos I'm 💣💥 by grief not being a girl Saint: Joke in poor taste at the expense of your hormones Saint: 🤐 Leilani: becos I'm a girl is never an excuse for anything, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie I have read some of Saint: My sincerest apologies Saint: you'll have to educate me Leilani: thank god for book club Leilani: you're fine though, losing my mum isn't an excuse either according to your sister Saint: She really said that? Leilani: yeah but she's just the 1st, I don't think she'll be the only Saint: But that's just Saint: bullshit Leilani: she doesn't think so, she built an entire argument around it Saint: even if you were using it as an excuse, which I see no evidence of Saint: it's a pretty valid one Saint: and it's just so Saint: callous to even suggest that, never mind assert it Leilani: it's about her, I dared to say she shouldn't make fun of Grace & by extension treat all of you badly Saint: That is a sensitive topic for her Saint: but still Saint: THAT is no excuse to behave like that Leilani: she's been looking at me like she's got every reason to be 😤 Leilani: 🙏 we're not face to face 🗨 Saint: I'll distract her Leilani: 😇 Saint: [do so boy, soz to you lol, sure she's being a delight] Leilani: [do the salute you're not gonna send him a picture of lol] Saint: [casually meet eyes over this party moment] Leilani: [what a #mood] Saint: [honestly Venus can leave early anyway we all know why you're here and you probably have somewhere else to be hoeing it up] Leilani: [yeah exactly, as much as I hate that you're like this, we know it's real] Leilani: thanks Saint: no problem Saint: I learnt not to bite a long time ago 🎣 Saint: not that that's on you, but you know what I mean, diplomacy is my friend Leilani: does she know she's helping you in your career goals? Saint: I have to assume not Saint: unless she thinks I need a running mate 😨😅 Leilani: in that costume, it'd be a stretch to 💭 that Saint: Don't even get me started on that Leilani: if you don't want to drop your workout secrets that's your choice Saint: Oh no, I was talking about hers, sorry Saint: she's really gone with the Elle Woods thing...which is just a bit strange Saint: dad's a lawyer so Saint: yeah Leilani: oh... Leilani: an extra dimension has been added Leilani: I thought she was going with Regina George Saint: easy mistake to make Saint: sure she'd say as much if I said anything Leilani: she'd say worse about both of ours probably Saint: she got her 🎁 she should be in a good mood now Leilani: why is she getting 🎁 on your dad's birthday? Saint: Right, you're an only child Saint: when you're little, and you went to birthday parties, did you ever get mad that you weren't getting any gifts or attention? Saint: it's that Leilani: I can't relate Saint: What did you and your mum do for your birthdays as a kid? Leilani: she liked to throw me a party, on theme for whatever I was super into that year Leilani: smaller scale than this but all my friends would be there Saint: Sounds like a good time Leilani: it was Leilani: what did you do? Saint: My birthday is Christmas day Saint: 💔 Leilani: I'm sorry Saint: 😅 It's not really that bad Saint: it would be if you minded Saint: but I still get presents and to see all the family so Leilani: I still feel like I should buy you a 🎁 in the summer Saint: that's when I'd have parties with friends as a kid Leilani: you don't have those parties any more? Saint: Not really my scene now Saint: I'm alright with Vee claiming that kind of attention Saint: I usually get dinner with friends as close to my birthday as we can without all the office parties being out in full force Leilani: 🍷 Leilani: very you Saint: Is that my branding? Leilani: would you like a rebrand? Saint: I'm not 😤 Saint: just curious about your 💭 Leilani: it's very blood of christ 😇🙏 Leilani: so fitting Saint: That wine is very bad though Saint: 😝 Leilani: maybe they don't want to promote 🧛 Leilani: if you drank my blood it probably wouldn't taste nice Saint: Why not? Saint: Not admitting a desire to do so with that Leilani: I don't know becos it's 🩸? Saint: 😂 Saint: Fair point Saint: just wanted to see how you'd put me off yours specifically Leilani: we'd circle back to me being underage Saint: do you think vampires ask for identification first? Leilani: no, but in this case you know how old I am Saint: I'm not going to suck your blood Saint: you have my word Saint: and I invited your here, sort of Saint: you'd have to invite me in Leilani: ignoring that being what someone who was about to drain me would say, you must've been to Grace's house before Saint: Probably? Saint: not as if I'd have much call to be there though Leilani: I'm honoured that you're looking for an invite now Saint: I never said that Leilani: 🤔 Saint: I said you would have to invite me over if I were to go all 🧛 Saint: so you're perfectly safe here and now Leilani: [giving him a look like okay boy] Saint: [little lol like okay fair enough] Leilani: [a smile back, excuse us everyone] Saint: [i'm like who a nosy hoe here 'cos I'd be 👀] Leilani: [well Astrid would just say it and we know she's there LOL] Saint: [truuu but she is an innocent soul so she probably just thinks he's being more friendly than his face usually suggests lol] Leilani: [I like to think the twins know what's up, they're sassy] Saint: [be those cheeky children who embarrass you] Leilani: [definitely & Matilda is probably 👀 on this vibe] Saint: [is cute] Leilani: [love that you're being less serious rn sir] Saint: [it's out of character enough to be a Thing™ like he's not a dick but he doesn't have to go this hard for anyone in the fam like protection, caring mode obvs so it'd be like oh hey] Leilani: [enjoy that fam, I know some of you adults are nosy hoes] Saint: [lol the goss, god bless] Leilani: what did you put in this drink? Saint: What? Saint: Nothing? Leilani: no, I mean like ingredients Leilani: it's nice Saint: Oh Saint: [whatever sassy concoction we've made 'cos you'd have that knowledge even if you don't party that hard 'cos Ruster kid] Leilani: 😄 Saint: you like it? Leilani: it's delicious Saint: 😁👍 Saint: Do I get a sticker now? Leilani: yeah Leilani: & more 🍭🍬🍫 Saint: the kids are gonna hate me Saint: better share or get mobbed Leilani: I could just invite you over to eat what the trick or treaters didn't before we got here, you know Leilani: keep you 😇 Saint: You really want to secure my spot in heaven Saint: My acceptance would hugely depend on what 🍭🍬🍫 was on offer Leilani: [the list of everything Grace bought and we know she's extra so] Leilani: so you see, I'm thinking of my own 😁 Saint: Did she expect the whole of town to show up or? Saint: I better intervene before you look like a 👶/👵 depending on how you think about it Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: I think she's expecting me to eat my feelings Saint: Nice to have the option Saint: perhaps not at the detriment to your 🦷 or 🩸 sugar though Leilani: we'll pretend midnight snacks don't count Saint: No calories after midnight, everyone knows that Leilani: the later it gets, the less there are? Leilani: becos we'll definitely still be here later than that Saint: Might even get to breakfast Saint: what would you have then if calories didn't exist? Leilani: for breakfast? Saint: Yes Leilani: 🥞🍨🍓🍫🍒 Saint: Well that just sounds 😇😇🤤 Saint: Perhaps we can go make that happen when we finally leave Saint: or will Grace object, take on that protective role fully Leilani: taking advantage of her fear of overstepping isn't very 😇 but it is honest Leilani: & this isn't a date date Saint: Not my intention, though if you think that would be a direct impact then perhaps we shouldn't Leilani: it's okay, it's just breakfast Leilani: the calories don't even count so it can't hurt Saint: It is Saint: I wouldn't want anyone to think differently Leilani: start as you mean to go on, I recall it Saint: I mean Saint: that wouldn't be right, would it Leilani: if people think something else is happening to what is, it's easy enough to set them straight Saint: Why would they even think that Leilani: retro 💭 Leilani: you can't spend time with anyone of the opposite sex unless they're interested in the same or you're interested in them Saint: It's just ridiculous Leilani: yeah, but you are 😇 & the fittest so I can't blame people for thinking I would be Saint: I assume people would think that's the last thing on your mind Saint: but maybe I'm giving too much credit Saint: most conversations seem to end up back to when am I going to get another girlfriend Leilani: that joke you made about my girly hormones works for my age too Leilani: especially becos I haven't had a boyfriend Saint: 🙄 Saint: It isn't the be-all-end-all Saint: trust me Leilani: not a classics 📚 way of thinking Leilani: if this was Russian Lit you'd die for her Saint: that's why their particular brand of melodrama is banned Saint: and 'she' doesn't currently exist, as I said, unless you'd like me to pledge my undying, unwavering love to the idea of women in general Saint: I can knock up a speech now Leilani: sounds like fun Leilani: go ahead Saint: 😅 Leilani: not the answer you wanted? Leilani: if you offer me a speech, I'm gonna say yes Saint: I need some time to write it Saint: I also need to find a pen Leilani: [hands him a pen in a sassy manner because she would have a handbag with this outfit] Saint: [the ultimate cliche of lingering when you take something lol] Leilani: [when you can't keep the sass up cos you gotta smile at him again like...I love to think about everyone watching this] Saint: [obviously we're smiling back and being all bashful like gotta go find some paper] Leilani: [looking in that handbag for something he could write on but there's nothing because she's not that hoe carrying everything but the kitchen sink so a cute 🤷🏾 like soz] Saint: [go find a napkin to write this speech about love and womens on then find her and give it to her and hope no one else reads it 'cos that is pure flirtation if I ever saw it] Leilani: [we're keeping that napkin hens & soz Matty even though we BFFs you're not reading it luv] Leilani: okay, I'd vote for you 🗳 Saint: [not explaining that inside joke hun we have no time sorry] Saint: That's all I really wanted from you, naturally Saint: 😈 Leilani: I'm naturally powerless to do anything but swoon, we've gone full classics now Leilani: you got what you really wanted there Saint: Having you powerless to my every whim and will sounds like another genre than classic to me Saint: unless you'd like to state your case for 50 Shades Leilani: 😅 I need to read it 1st Leilani: so thanks if you're choosing it for book club Saint: Top of my reading list, I just needed the excuse 😏 Leilani: isn't there like a whole series? Leilani: you'd know Saint: I officially decline to add that to my brand, thank you Leilani: I get why, you're angry she wrote out the vampires, obviously Saint: Precisely Saint: What kind of discrimination... Leilani: [a lil irl lol like peeps aren't getting enough of a show with this] Saint: [😍] Leilani: [I hope you're re-reading that napkin or talking to your bff right then cos if you see them 😍 you'll die] Saint: Who's costume do you think would win? Leilani: your dad's Leilani: the birthday boy has to win Saint: just because it's his birthday or Leilani: yeah, Grace's is the best Leilani: I chose it for her Saint: 😅 If you do say so yourself then Leilani: if you're arguing it's becos you want me to hype up yours more Leilani: she looks amazing Saint: I'm simply saying on your 2nd go you and Vee should get on like a house on fire Leilani: 😧 Saint: It's not a bad thing Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: okay, who do you think should win? Saint: You have things in common, is the point Saint: I don't know, the kids are probably the most imaginative Leilani: what things? Saint: 💅💄👗 and thinking you're very good at them Leilani: I think I did a good job at picking her specific outfit tonight Leilani: you don't have to say it like it's a bad thing Saint: I didn't Saint: I specifically said it wasn't Leilani: sure Saint: I'm sorry if that's how you took it Leilani: I'm sorry if that's what I look like to you Saint: What, interested in how they present themselves? Saint: I don't see why you'd apologize for that Leilani: up themselves Saint: I didn't say that Leilani: I don't know how else you expect me to take thinking I'm very good at something Leilani: you didn't even say I was very good at it Saint: Does it matter what I think? Leilani: not if it's that I have an ego the size of your sister's Saint: I meant it as a good thing Saint: I don't know what else to tell you Leilani: I don't know what else to tell you other than that's not how I took it Saint: And I said sorry so that's that Leilani: yeah Saint: Don't think about it, it really didn't mean anything Leilani: I won't cause a big scene about it either way Saint: Just enjoy your evening, okay Leilani: I am Saint: Good 🙂 Saint: that's all anyone wants Leilani: I didn't mean to get all 💣💥 it just upset me, what she said Leilani: so you saying we're alike isn't something I want to hear atm Saint: I understand Saint: that's fine, it was the wrong thing to say Leilani: it isn't fine, she's the one who got to me, not you Leilani: I'm sorry Saint: I was insensitive Saint: I just don't like conflict Saint: but it can't always be straightened out so easily Leilani: I will have a 2nd go when I see her at school Leilani: maybe it'll get straightened out Saint: How are you feeling, about school? Leilani: stressed Saint: I bet Saint: it'd be weird if you weren't Saint: but you seem to be good at making friends so you'll be okay Leilani: but that was before, now I'm not gonna know if they feel sorry for me Leilani: or think they have to be nice to me Saint: Do people have to know? Saint: You need a story why you've moved school, but it doesn't strictly have to be the full truth, or the truth at all Leilani: Venus knows, I'm not having her catch me in a lie Leilani: anyway, it's what happened Leilani: I can't escape it by lying Saint: Fair enough Saint: it is the best policy, after-all Leilani: it wouldn't be fair to my mum to change the story, she can't Saint: That makes sense Saint: disrespectful Saint: well, I think, however unfortunately, that people's sympathy only extends so far Saint: you might lose some, but you will find out who your real friends are with time Leilani: there's that word again Leilani: time Saint: I think it's pretty unavoidable Saint: it sounds worse than usual Saint: but people you think are your friends can turn around and not me Saint: for any reasons, it isn't that this is happening, or going to happen just because of your mum Saint: you know? Saint: It doesn't sound comforting, it isn't Leilani: it is a little bit Saint: People are flaky Saint: you just notice when you could use some of them to not be Leilani: who hurt you? other than the girls you're unwilling to die for, I mean Saint: What? Saint: No, no one Leilani: your friends haven't? Saint: I'm fine 🙂 Leilani: I don't believe in 🙂 Leilani: give me a real one 😁 Saint: [IRL 🙂] Leilani: [IRL 😁] Saint: [looking awayayayay] Leilani: [getting him another 🍷 because you are soz you kicked off] Saint: [just like 'who served you?' 😏 bants 'cos he's not even old enough yet either] Leilani: [we just loling because this is a fam function and everyone knows it's for him but asking if she can try it, to which I say don't do it gal wine is gross] Saint: [offering it but warning her it's an acquired taste 'cos truly] Leilani: [taking a sip and her face would be ICONIC because ew, just don't spit it back into his glass babe] Saint: [loling and asking if she wants another mocktail instead] Leilani: [a hard yes because need that taste out of our mouth] Saint: [go get that boy] Leilani: you should've written a speech about why you like drinking 🍷 Saint: A toast would be more fitting Leilani: shorter & easier too Saint: and more warmly received Saint: especially by this crowd Leilani: 😅 Leilani: [gives him the pen back like there you go then] Saint: [swap that for her drink and get to 🤔] Leilani: [take a sip so he can see your happy face when you taste it compared to a second ago] Saint: How am I meant to argue with that? Leilani: I'm not doing your work for you, St Saint: 🥺😏 Leilani: maybe you could compare it to a girl, that was a very good speech Leilani: [re-reads it] Saint: Acidic...bitter...goes straight to your head and stays there 'til the next day Leilani: disgusting, leaves a horrible taste in your mouth Leilani: makes you say things you maybe don't mean Saint: might get half the room to raise their glasses Saint: if they're feeling brave Leilani: if they're feeling 💔 Saint: Yes, that too Leilani: there must be some reasons why you drink it, other than frustrated vampirism Saint: the 💔 obviously Leilani: you said you were 🙂 fine Saint: Philosophical 💔💭 Leilani: what does that mean? Saint: I'm just theorizing on it Saint: no personal experience worth noting Leilani: ... Saint: We don't need to bring the party down with my non-issues Leilani: no announcements, just me Saint: Alright Saint: but only because you don't want to be treated different, not because I think it's important or a big deal or anything at all Saint: I did have a girlfriend, 'til quite recently Saint: but no one here knows that she cheated on me, and that's why I ended things Saint: with one of my friends Leilani: how 🍷 of her Leilani: are they together now? Saint: I'm not sure Saint: Guess I'll see at School Leilani: how long were you with her? Saint: About 2 months shy of a year Leilani: that's horrible, that she didn't end it properly Saint: Yeah Saint: we were really alike Saint: I thought Leilani: we're both dreading school, I wish that was more comforting Saint: I don't want to complain, like it's anywhere near the same Leilani: it doesn't have to be the same to be something we can talk about Saint: I know Saint: it's just Saint: I already feel stupid without complaining to you Leilani: she did something stupid, you don't have to feel like that Saint: I do though, we're a close group Saint: they're both in all my classes pretty much Saint: then I think that the rest of them had to know Saint: so, what does that mean for all of those relationships too Leilani: you won't know what it means until you know whether they were keeping it from you or not Leilani: but you get to decide what happens next with those friendships either way Saint: People pick sides, and even if they already haven't Saint: it won't be the same Leilani: maybe it shouldn't Leilani: if they've picked his side or hers, you deserve different than that Saint: It's my last year Saint: bit late for all that anyway Leilani: if you go into it with that attitude, yeah Leilani: you wouldn't say it's too late for me Saint: You have time, and reason to make it work Leilani: you too Leilani: we haven't known each other long, claiming you need years is a stretch Saint: This is different Saint: I don't know how to explain it Leilani: join a club with me or something, we'll make new friends together Saint: 😅 What kind of club? Leilani: I don't know Leilani: obviously not the Russian Lit appreciation society Saint: Maybe they'll have an anti-appreciation society Leilani: 😅 it'd be popular & so would we Saint: You will be Leilani: there must be genuine clubs you are interested in 🤔💭 & I'll sign up too Saint: I have lots of extra-curriculars Saint: but there's probably a few left out there I haven't tried Leilani: great Saint: What do you want to do? Saint: Sports, music, etc... Leilani: my only demand is no swimming Saint: The chlorine? Leilani: the cap I'd have to wear Leilani: not cute Saint: 😂 Saint: [and IRL] Leilani: hey! I'm serious Saint: Okay, no swimming Saint: we have a pool anyway Leilani: oh, good idea, throwing a party would be a good way to meet people Leilani: 💅💄👙 instead Saint: Hold on, who said anything about a party Leilani: me Leilani: just then Saint: It's a bit Leilani: ... Saint: You do know my sister lives at my house too, right? Leilani: she told me she's back & forth to Paris, can't we do it when she's 🛫? Saint: Not as much as she wishes Saint: I mean, I suppose you could Saint: long as you don't post it all over socials and trash the place Leilani: we could Leilani: the point is, you're there too Saint: A pool party full of underage girls? Saint: I don't know if that's the right direction to be going in Leilani: the 2nd point is, they won't all be underage or girls Saint: Well as mentioned, I don't exactly have a lot of older boys to invite Leilani: that's why we join a club 1st Saint: How many steps does this plan have then? Leilani: I don't know Leilani: it depends how those go Saint: You're funny Saint: And I don't mean that in any way but the words I'm saying, for the record Leilani: I'll be proud becos your laughter is transformative Leilani: it makes you look & me feel really different Saint: Those are some pretty persuasive words Saint: maybe you should write the speeches Leilani: I'll add speech writer to my vision board when I get back Saint: You could do it for me Saint: if that wasn't such a 🥱 prospect Leilani: I think it could be fun Leilani: but what's my cut? Saint: Paying staff is part of a MPs fabled expenses Saint: we can make that wage up as we go along Saint: as long as people don't think I'm favouring you for any reason beyond your 🖋🗯 Leilani: [bats her eyelashes at him in an OTT manner like who would ever think that] Leilani: 😅😅 Saint: [😏] Saint: you'd get to live in London, if you wanted Leilani: who wouldn't want to live in London? Saint: It certainly has its charms Leilani: 🛍🌃💃 Saint: Those are some Leilani: add yours then Saint: 🏛 🛥 ⛪️🚇 🕌 🚖 🕍 🎭 ☕️ 🍷 🍽 Leilani: I was with you until 🍷 Leilani: still, you can show me around before I start work Saint: It's a deal Saint: maybe you'll like white, or rose Leilani: let's see Leilani: [goes off to get wine like] Saint: It takes time Saint: to acquire the taste Leilani: to kill your tastebuds Leilani: [imagine the scene of her with a glass of wine in each hand taking a sip from each and making different but as ICONIC faces of disgust, we're giving them to Matty, fill your boots gal] Saint: How many 👎s? Leilani: as many as poss Saint: 😅😅 Saint: Stick to juice Saint: apart from being bad for your 😁 and the possibility of a sugar high Saint: better option all 'round providing you brush Leilani: is this where you ask for photographic proof back? Saint: 🤔 Saint: I think I trust your dedication to pearly whites Leilani: thanks Saint: You seem...disappointed? Leilani: do I? Leilani: trust is nice, I'm not 😤 Saint: Good Saint: you can send me evidence if you want Saint: maybe your breakfast 'gram, if it lives up to the expectations Leilani: aren't you gonna be there? Saint: Didn't we decide that might not be a good idea right now Leilani: I've only had 3 sips of wine & I don't remember agreeing so Leilani: no? Saint: I don't want my eyes scratched out 💅 Saint: you did a good job on the 😱 factor on her Leilani: I don't have my 🐱 yet Leilani: you can be scared then Saint: You are a 🐱 Saint: so had I better come or else Leilani: if we share the 🥞 you'll be helping curb my chances of a sugar rush & cavities Saint: So that's the for argument Leilani: yeah & I'll keep being funny Saint: You're meant to do against now 😏 Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: the risk of your own sugar rush & cavities Saint: 😂 Saint: I would hate for you to think I'm scared of a little sugar Leilani: 🧄 & 🌤 right? Leilani: or maybe underage girls & unreliable narrators Saint: I'm the unreliable narrator underage girls are scared of Saint: except I'm not, obviously Saint: I'll take vampire rumours over that any day Leilani: at least that means you won't take some other girl for breakfast on the morning of my 16th birthday Saint: That would be very cinematic Saint: but also very rude Leilani: 💔😿 Saint: You'll have to tell me when it is so I can keep it free, avoid the 👿 Leilani: [her birthday whenever we decide that is] Saint: It's in the diary Leilani: 📱 or 📖? Saint: I have both Saint: but I'm not quite that nerdy that I've brought my paper one to a party Leilani: I was just 💔😿 that you borrowed a pen from someone else Saint: Okay, so that's pretty 🤓 Leilani: excuse you, it's not my fault I don't have 20:20 vision Leilani: 🕶🖤 Saint: You aren't that blind or I'd have noticed by now Leilani: I'm wearing contacts Saint: I mean 🕶 is a bit of an exaggeration Leilani: it's a cute emoji, I'm sorry Leilani: & 🤓 is not good teeth representation for me Saint: [actual lol] Saint: Okay, you can have it Leilani: [actual 😍] Leilani: thanks boss Saint: [try not to 😳] Leilani: [use your skin tone to save yourself boy] Saint: wait 'til the tour to decide if you accept Leilani: becos what happens on tour stays on tour or? Saint: depends how much evidence you collect 📸 Leilani: you're the 😇 Saint: Allegedly Leilani: it's your own promo Leilani: meaning you could also convince me you're 😈 Saint: I don't see the benefit in that Leilani: [a LOOK like] Saint: I'm not going to convince you of anything 😈 with just words Leilani: I definitely don't remember making it a words only rule Saint: 🤐🤔 Leilani: ... Saint: [miming both again but we're smiling] Leilani: would you like to dance? in classic 📚 it's totally scandalous Saint: As long as we leave appropriate room for God Leilani: I think if I was fully playing by my god's rules you'd have to be in the next room Leilani: & I'd be wearing 🧕🏾 instead of ears Saint: That would make your outfit very confusing Leilani: this outfit is too tight to be islam approved Saint: [show up to dance like lemme take a closer look] Leilani: [we're having a moment & all I can think about is Grace peeping] Saint: [peeping in a costume which just makes it more amusing some reason] Leilani: [it's happening but I am gonna cockblock this before it goes too hard by saying she starts crying because she can't wait to tell her mum about this & realises she can't #beentheregal] Saint: [oh baby] Leilani: [so then we embarrassed & have to go outside cos there's always peeps in the toilets at any party/fam function] Saint: [at least as Grace is peeping she can follow you and deal 'cos we're gonna assume that isn't what you want him to do] Leilani: [when you wanna go home because mortified especially since he hasn't followed so you think he's mortified but you also don't because you were and are having fun which is the whole reason we cried like #ohjoy thank god Venus is not here] Saint: [we're in actuality worried like oh we shouldn't have done that/any of this lowkey] Leilani: [lowkey outside for ages until Grace is probably freezing to death so we're back but NOT looking at him because dying] Saint: [the awks, go make yourself busy boy] Leilani: [when you're avoiding him but you don't want him to avoid you] Saint: [a mood, at least it is your dad's bday so you can make it look not blatant] Leilani: [maybe this is a good place to end the convo, like it's rude to them but legit] Saint: [agreed, like, can't really come back from this tonight, you will be going home soon gal and breakfast is not happening today] Leilani: [it'll be a hilarious awks but good starting point for the next convo we do like yeah soz I sobbed on you sir]

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