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kerubimcrepin · 2 months

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Live-read: The Wheel of Destiny #1, Atcham.

You can find this article on the Dofus MMO’s site, by simply googling it.

Before I begin this post I want to acknowledge multiple things:

On the hierarchy of canonical media, web articles are like... the bottom of the barrel. I already suspected this, but season 4 fully retconning Eva's parents from the lore articles sealed the deal. For this reason, take these as nothing but the sort of canon that will get retconned at the first available opportunity.

I recently found out that the Wheel of Destiny 8, the one about Kerubim, seems to use stolen fanart by Flowerimh, which is sad. I don't know where else to put this, because I don't want to make a separate post about this. Flowerimh isn't even active anymore...

Despite these two things, let us proceed to read this article together:

So, this article happens anywhere from one year to a decade before Joris was born, and at this time, Atcham and Julith were already acquainted and spending free time together.

Spoiler alert: They are searching for Kerubim.

Keke getting called a "precious runt" is on par with the shit Joris gets called. Wonderful. I do wonder why they would search for him in Brakmar. Someone confused him for Atcham? Maybe they asked Kerubim himself, and he didn't want to deal with them, and so, sent them to Brakmar on a wild goose chase?

I will not be asking "what did he do" because, like, Fifi Pretty Calves exists. He has enough enemies to have a price on his head.

I am literally in love with him, and every single way he is described in this part of the text.

"He had a preference for sibilant sounds", "Aw, poor little puppy", "the only reason he hadn't robbed them blind is because he wanted to know more".

He was so excited.... he thought they wanted him (not carnally).... 😢

He takes a lot of pride in his work and insane behaviours.

Atcham considers himself an extraordinary adventurer and a valiant fighter. AND HE ISSSSSS. But it is interesting that besides being a killer for hire, he probably also adventures.

[Taps this meme I made about Kerubim and Atcham once again]

He was so ready to be the one people wanted to kill just once, and they ruined his whole fucking evening.

Imagine this being your day-to-day life, for decades. Just people laughing at you, laughing because you still hadn't caught on that you're the joke, and laughing when you finally understand that, and get upset.

Laughing about you behind your back, to some random stranger, too. Because they still hadn't realized they're literally talking about him.

I think this is a good time to say that I headcanon Atcham as autistic. It is simply a headcanon, but one rooted in the themes of his character. I think it is a fitting conclusion, (albeit, just like my hcs of Joris having ADHD and OCD and Kerubim having comorbid BPD and HPD, very accidental one, on part of the writers).

I could talk for hours on the way neurodivergence, disability, body issues, and violence-as-response-to-abuse intersect in Atcham's character, — or the way he hates everyone preemptively, because he knows that they will probably hurt him, yet still tries to be at least a bit kind and fair to others (....who aren't Kerubim).

I am probably not autistic, — however, I am neurodivergent, and I love & relate to him, so yeah. Always rotating this bingus in my brain.

Imagine this being your whole life.

I read descriptions of Atcham being cool and fast, and all the analysis leaves my brain as I say "awooga hummina hummina".

The fact that nobody ever wed him is literally so unrealistic, like WHAT DO YOU MEAN you don't want the weird, mentally ill, neurodivergent twink.

We never see Atcham's home in Brakmar, but from the description of "tattered", and the way his bed looks in the comic panel I inserted earlier in the post, it is safe to say his home is the definition of "girlrotting". It probably smells. Bad.

Says the woman whose kindness will also be the death of her, — and her ruthlessness too.

Because of her visiting his home so nonchalantly, and their interactions as a whole, I like to view Atcham and Julith as somewhat close friends, — as close as two very emotionally repressed people, who have a huge age difference, and don't like to admit that they feel anything positive, can be.

He probably didn't mourn her, — not after she was presumed dead for ten years, and not after she died for real.

But he probably still thinks about her, once in a while.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #atcham crepin #wheel1

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wareagleofthemountain · 6 months

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Glorfindel With A Guide Dog

A/N: I originally wrote this for disability pride month. So here it is again without all the spelling errors.

Pairing: Glorfindel x blind!reader

You smiled as you felt the warm Imladris breeze hit your face, strands of your long hair brushing the tips of your pointed ears as it too was rustled by the Summer afternoon. The steady pull of the harness handle held in your left hand guided you confidently through the garden pathways. You’d gone out to collect a basket full of the first strawberry bloom of the season with the intention of sharing them with your love after dinner that night. A cold nose nuzzling your upper thigh and the abrupt stop let you know that you had approached one of the many spiral staircases of the city. Your companion, a golden retriever Glorfindel had so lovingly named Pilot, wagged her fluffy tail as she placed her front paws on the first step, asking if you’d like to go up.

“Good girl.” You coo, reaching into your pocket and rewarding her with a small treat. “Forward.”

Pilot began her climb in measured steps, walking slightly in front of you so as to allow you to feel each step as she took it. She was always very good about keeping you away from trip hazards and the other elves grew used to giving the two of you a wide berth as you weaved through a crowd, lest they get nudged aside by her nose for standing in the way. You could still remember the day Glorfindel had first placed the warm, squirming puppy in your arms after returning from a mission in one of the nearby human settlements. He’d purchased her from a tradesman there upon learning that humans trained dogs to act as eyes for their blind counterparts. Though he held a firm belief in your abilities to travel independently, he couldn’t help but worry about your safety when he had to go away. Besides, if he could provide a way to make your life easier, he saw no reason not to act on it. He hired a human trainer to reside in Imladris for two years where they’d work alongside you and Pilot everyday until she learned to be your efficient eyes.

You reached down to pat her chest as you reached the top of the stares. The two of you had graduated from bootcamp this day, and you were eager to return to your room and tell Glorfindel.

“Left.” You instructed Pilot as you reached a fork in the hallway. Though you didn’t really need to; she’d memorized this route long ago, and she knew dinner awaited her in your chamber.

You heard the skitter of Pilot’s claws clamber across the hardwood floor as soon as you removed the harness.

“Oh yes, hi! You're so excited! Hi baby!” Came Glorfindel’s cheery voice as he pet Pilot, the dog circling him and whining excitedly as she pawed at his robes.

The ellon laughed as she licked his cheek. “Thank you for the kisses, sweet one.”

The next thing you knew, strong arms were wrapped around you and pulling you into a solid chest. “And you, meleth nin, how was your day?”

You sighed in bliss and leaned into his lips as he kissed you. “Mm. Better now that you’re here.”

You could hear the smile in his voice as he ran a hand up your back, the other reaching over to relieve you of the heavy basket. “Went berry picking? You know these are my favorite.”

“Aye. I believe a celebration is in order.”

Glorfindel looked intrigued. “What are we celebrating, starlight?”

“Pilot was cleared in her training today.” You were quite thrilled by this, as your job as a musician regularly required you to travel to other realms during diplomatic meetings. And with another trip just one week away, you were excited to travel without the arm of an escort or your cane getting caught on a rock and snapping. “So she’ll be able to accompany me to Dale.”

“Congratulations to you both.” The Balrog slayer released you and gave Pilot a few affectionate pats on the head. “You two make a great team.”

You leaned in for another kiss. “That we do.”

Glorfindel caught you around the waist again, a mischievous note in his tone. “We’ve got a few hours until we have to show up for dinner…”

“Yes…” You smile, forced to pull apart sooner than you would have liked due to a soft knock on the door.

“Lindir.” You recognized his mannerisms immediately. “What can we do for you?”

“Forgive my intrusion, but we must go over some last minute accommodations for our visit to Dale.”

You give a slight bow. “Of course. I’ll meet you in the courtyard in a moment.”

Once the door is shut you turn back to Glorfindel. “You two can manage on your own for a while?”

He raised an eyebrow as he watched you unfold your long, white cane. “You’re not taking her with you?”

“Nay. She’s worked hard enough today. Besides, I shouldn’t be gone long.”

His eyes followed your retreating form and it wasn’t until you turned the corner that he shut the door to the room. The elf lord stoked the fire and opened up a book he’d been meaning to finish. Sprawling out on the large bed, he chuckled softly as Pilot rested her head on the edge of the mattress and fixed him with her pleading brown eyes.

“Oh alright. Come on.” Glorfindel let her snuggle into his side and stroked her ears as his thoughts began to wander. So often he’d watched the two of you walk together, steps in sync like some highly trained soldiers. A perfect team. Often enough, he’d wondered what it would be like to spend a day in your position. The use of his eyes was vital to who he was, and you never ceased to amaze him with how well you got on without your own.

Besides, he was putting a lot of faith in this dog. She was well trained and adorable, of that he was sure, but your safety was never a concept he took lightly. He glanced around the room, his eyes falling on the harness hanging on a hook by the door.

“Hmm…”

XXX

Marchwarden Rúmil of Lothlorien was currently lounging on a wide, flat rock soaking up the sun and sketching the surrounding meadow in his journal. The past few weeks had been filled with an influx of duties, him barely receiving any time off between his usual border shifts and being sent to escort Lady Celebrian back home. And now, at Elrond’s behest that he stay and assist in training new Imladris border guards, it could be months before he got reprieve. Which is why it was very hard for the ellon to maintain a friendly air with Glorfindel when he came barging in on his solitude.

“Ah, mellon, I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Rúmil gave a huff of acknowledgment, not looking up from his drawing.

“Say.” The Balrog slayer continued. “Do you uh… have a spare blindfold I could borrow?”

At his request, Rúmil’s pen stilled on the paper, fixing Glorfindel with a sideways glance over his book. After a moment of careful thought, he finally spoke up. “I did not think it necessary since they can’t…”

“No, no. Not for them. For me!” Glorfindel couldn’t hold back his laughter at Rúmil’s confused expression. “Look, do you have one or not?”

“Let me check my pack.” Rúmil began rifling through his things, finally producing a heavy duty blindfold. All Wardens carried one as it was protocol to shield the route to Caras Galadhon from the eyes of non-elvish visitors. “But, what do you need it for?”

“Come. I’ll show you.”

XXX

Glorfindel had cleared out one of the archery fields and built a pretty impressive obstacle course in its wake. Five empty wine barrels, pull up bars set about chin height, arrow targets, and finally a set of stairs on either side of an above ground pool with a wide wooden plank bridging across the water for Pilot to guide him through.

“Marchwarden, this is Pilot, my love’s guide dog. I must test her prowess to ensure that she is capable of assuring their safety.”

“This is going to be an interesting incident report to write up to Haldir.” Rúmil muttered into his palm, watching Glorfindel nervously as he harnessed the dog and tied the blindfold over his eyes. Pilot looked up at him curiously, knowing that he was not her usual handler.

Now then, he’d seen you work her many times before, but failed to remember the commands you’d use.

Where are the reigns on this thing?

Suddenly, it came to him. “Ah yes. Forward!”

And with that, they were off. Putting his full trust in an animal was a new feeling for Glorfindel, though not an unpleasant one as she artfully wove them through the barrels and targets in their path. “Well done! Very nice!”

He flinched, expecting to feel one of the bars smack him in the head, but Pilot stopped him in time and led them around those too.

Glorfindel smiled, picking up his strides and pulling on the handle, urging the dog to go faster. “Let’s finish off strong, yes?”

They ascended the first set of steps and the ellon felt the wood creek slightly under his feet, indicating they were going over the shallow water below.

So eager was he to finish the course that he missed Pilot’s cue that they had approached the second set of stairs…

CRASH!

XXX

You yawned and stretched your back. That meeting with Lindir had run much longer than you’d expected, and now you were pressed for time to get Glorfindel for dinner.

That was, until you were stopped by Rúmil in the hallway.

“Looking for Glorfindel, I take it?”

You blushed, slightly embarrassed about how late you were going to be. “Yes. Is he already at dinner?”

“Well, actually…”

You couldn’t believe your ears as you heard the story of what had happened on the way to the infirmary.

“Rúmil, you were supposed to watch him! He what? He fell down the stairs?”

“Lord Elrond says he’ll be alright.”

When you entered the infirmary, you stroked Pilot’s head as she sprang up to greet you, Glorfindel groaning dramatically as he lay on a bed with his arm wrapped.

“I don’t know. I think she needs more training.”

You chuckle and sit beside him, leaning over to kiss his forehead. “I think you need more training.”

#Glorfindel #Glorfindel x reader

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hannimatior · 1 month

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I've fallen in love with the depression raccoon!!! how likely to be made are any of the other plushies? will it only be one of them? 🥺

it depends on how many goals/how much funding we are able to reach!! I'd like to make as many as possible but plushies are expensive to make so I can only make as many as I have funding for. this is why I super encourage sharing the project if you'd like a specific creature to get funded as we'll need all the help we can get!

the initial goal for the campaign will be for Critter and Bug, which I am partially funding myself as I really want them to be made, which is why the goal is so low! the next goal will be for Dash the disability pride puppy, then after that we will start into the backers choice goals where you'll be able to vote who comes next out of depression racoon, ocd kitty, bpd kitty, spd opossum, and more!! I'm not finished with this graphic yet but to give you an idea here's what the goals will look like:

(sorry for the poor quality, it's just a screenshot of my graphics program lol.) but the backers choice goals will continue on as we keep getting funding!!

I hope this makes sense, I'm happy to answer more questions if needs be!! :D

for everyone else's reference, the designs that you can vote for for backers choice (polls will be held in backerkit!) that I have finished will be under the cut!!

(once again sorry for image quality.... better versions are posted over on @autisticgayplushie !!) schizophrenia axolotl, bipolar disorder creature, anxiety moth creature, IBS bird creature, and dyslexia bunny forthcoming! :D

#audhd creatures #asks #tristan the depression raccoon

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uummyuu · 8 months

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de los santos romantic headcanons

ask and you shall receive, fair warning there's a slight bit of nsfw/suggestive themes in these so if you're not too comfortable with that i suggest skipping this for now (nsfw stuff is in italics so you can scroll past it easier)

this man literally towers over everyone and his s/o is no exception, santos was practically born to have a size kink.

wants to be your strong protector, the type who would literally shelter you from the rain with his body. but you know that his strong side was only one of the many facets of his personality.

aligned with his protective nature he tends to keep your relationship a secret from the press, his profession is known for attracting unwanted attention and honestly he just wants to live a comfortable life with you.

your relationship is the greatest source of comfort to him, it's so hard when he needs to fly to different locations for away games and where he can't just fall into your arms after a long day (especially when he loses).

as much as his team is his family, you've become his home. he's extremely vulnerable when it comes to knowing where he belongs, he's already lost his hometown so what now? your love is the one thing he can proudly own and he'll do anything to keep it.

on the topic of loss, when his team faces a devastating (and i mean devastating as in they're officially out of the running for the super league cup) the one thing he needs is your comfort. physically and mentally just be there for him because god knows he can't be there for himself.

in spite of how big he is sometimes he just wants to hide in your arms y'know

his mindset just becomes very pliant and he really doesn't feel like thinking or reflecting too hard, very much a service top when he's like this. use him however you wish in this state, it turns him on and takes his mind off of things.

loves focusing on making his s/o feel good, with his size he's scared of hurting you too much but you definitely knew what you were getting into when you started dating him so go wild bestie.

surprisingly weak during sex, make him lay down on the bed and ride him hard so that all he can do is sit still and take it, his brain easily becomes a pile of mush and all he can focus on is how good you feel around him.

play with his pecs and leave hickeys all over his neck he wants to be yours and feel claimed in every sense of the word.

aftercare is the one time he'll let you place his care above yours, gently run your hands through his hair and tell him how good you felt, it makes him melt inside.

morning after sex is a totally different thing though, santos also loves positions where he can keep you close to him. so the moment you and him wake up you'll be seated on his lap and on his cock, chest-to-chest as he grinds into you while kissing you senseless. think of it as him saying thanks for taking care of him last night <33

(cough cough breeding kink)

in conclusion i present to you mexican puppy man who just wants to be loved and to belong

also if his package down there disables you the following day he will proudly carry you around everywhere, literally glows with pride when he does this you can't get mad at him for it.

#myu writes 🌸#supa strikas #supa strikas headcanons #supa strikas de los santos #de los santos x reader #hi im back on my de los santos bullshit c:#hello supablr i will get to my other asks asap #more x reader content and hc's coming huhu

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manyminded · 2 years

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disabled as in

fuck you

as in

I’m trying

as in

there is no amount of evil one can do to deserve what my body does naturally

as in

I am whole, not in spite of this, but maybe because of it

as in

sometimes I feel guilty for wanting a cure

as in

the one elevator in my school is so far away from all my classes (and it barely works, too)

as in

I’m suffering

as in

I’m tired. So, so tired

as in

I’m done with being sorry for my symptoms

as in

maybe i don’t wanna be not sorry for just a moment, because unlearning is so taxing

as in

i feel like I’m being stabbed by a thousand knifes every waking moment

as in

hating every gym teacher on principal

as in

trying to swallow too many pills at once

as in

everything is just another side effect

as in

my bed is my best friend

as in

the internet is the only way I can truly be free

as in

distraction is the best medicine

as in

I’m suffering

as in

crying like a baby because something is so fundamentally wrong but I don’t know what it is or how to fix it and crying is all I have left

as in

every step feels like my foot is trying to rip itself apart muscle by muscle

as in

i hate doctors on principle

as in

too many passes to the nurse

as in

i can’t wait for a 504 plan to be set in place

as in

i don’t deserve to be punished for my symptoms

as in

disabled isn’t a dirty word

as in

i am not lesser

as in

just because I seem energetic, or happy, or anything really, does not mean I am magically okay again

as in

I’m tired of masking

as in

why should I accommodate for the world, shouldn’t it accommodate for me

as in

being surprised that others in my community are suffering more than i am but yet are still alive

as in

I’m tired of the wheelchair symbol because my disability isn’t visible, and it hurts that that’s all I am represented as

as in

the wheelchair symbol is still so fundamentally important to my community

as in

my friend, gently passing me a 3d printed infinity cube when he noticed I was stressed

as in

i am not a sick cowering puppy, I am just as alive and complex as you

as in

sometimes I am that puppy

as in

asking my teacher to turn off the lights, watching as she says it’s for her own migraine

as in

feeling grateful for all the little and big things people do to try and help

as in

my needs are different each day

as in

sometimes different people have conflicting accessibility needs

as in

laying > sitting > standing

as in

knowing that if someone felt what I did they’d go to the ER immediately, when I have to go to school

as in

I cannot predict a flare up

as in

i leave school early some days

as in

reading about the deaf community for asl class, and being genuinely hurt that they consider it “a different way of life” instead of just a “disability”.

as in

being in asl class, at all

as in

offering to help organize the ‘chill room’ in the student services hallway because I’m one of the kids who will use it most

as in

i want this to all be over with, I wanna be done

as in

i am proud of my disability, i take pride in it

as in

music is my best grounding technique, at least for me

as in

there is so much variety in our community

as in

my whole life is centered around disability, it affects everything

as in

i am so much more than just disabled

as in

i am not lesser

as in

“differently abled” is bullshit

as in

a doctor online saying adhd is just learned coping mechanisms, and my mom believing it

as in

me saying that it was utter bullshit, and she realized I was right

as in

my mom’s disabled too

as in

conversion disorder copies other’s symptoms, stuff that the victim knows

as in

a lot of my symptoms are like my mom’s

as in

my mom is the strongest person I know

as in

disabled isn’t a dirty word

as in

all of this, and more

as in

fuck you.

#this feels more like a diary entry than anything.#but I had to write it ig. It needed to be out there #disabled as in fuck you #disabled pride #poetry #being disabled #actually disabled #disability #disability pride #it burns like a wildfire — loud tag #disabled #chronic pain #chronic illness #disabled life #long post

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ladyimaginarium · 11 months

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okay so i& just bought two cute ass anthro fursona adoptables & a genderfluid kitty t shirt & a pin for did fictives & several plural pins & a disability pride pin !! one's a puppy, the other's a kitty, i'll& likely be redesigning the kitty a little bit but not by too much ( which the owner, michaelssillyadopts, said you're allowed to do !! ). they don't have names or genders or any backstory at all yet but i& love these bbys already lmfao

#arcana.txt #arcana.uploads #im& so happy !! :>#especially bc i& didnt really buy anything for ourselves& in a bit & its P.RIDE & I.NDIGENOUS H.ISTORY M.ONTH !!! OUR& MONTH !!!!#so i& said FUCK IT I'M& TREATING MYSELF & OURSELVES& !!!!#also DO NOT FUCKING STEAL THESE DESIGNS OR IM& COMING FOR YOUR SOUL

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autismcupcake · 10 months

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Not only is it disability pride month it's also our birthday month and I think it's incredibly unfair that this is happening right now!!! We haven't had to deal with this in so long and I just. No. Not happy. Not fair. At least puppy is here

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finsterhund · 1 year

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Reading this and finding this context makes me sad. For the record I didn't find out about Skinamarink personally until late November but I did evidently end up torrenting it. I desperately wanted to see it but it was only in film festivals. I try to make the effort not to pirate indie productions as this is pretty much the only situation where piracy does very much hurt creators but I absolutely still want to officially support it when I have a way to.

Skinamarink is something special to me and while I've gone on record to say I don't think it "works" as a movie and I had multiple issues with it, I've become extremely captivated by it all the same and I think it's safe to say it's a special interest now. I think Kyle is talented and I take pride in a fellow gay Canadian creative putting his work out there and feel a great sense of comradery in how this movie taps into the way my childhood neglect often felt. I think watching this movie may have also allowed a previously closed off or repressed part of my memories to become accessible too.

All the theater showings were way too far away for my disabled ass to ever hope of attending when it did get brought to theaters but I pretty much signed up for Shudder briefly solely to support Skinamarink lmfaooo

I wish there was a way to directly send support Kyle's way though. I really want to physically own a copy and also want merch. I saw at certain showings there were stuff like little pin buttons and I think Kyle should set up an Etsy or something. I could just buy/make fan merch but if it's just gonna be a button of a photo of the chatter phone with the movie's title above or something I'd like to get that from him. I only buy fan merch when it's created and handmade.

I guess now "everything turned out okay" and the movie made a comparatively massive amount of money upon theatrical release but I still feel bad.

Skinamarink is very divisive and pretty much my entire main friend group didn't like and roasted the hell out of it (I poke fun too because I meme the crap out of the things I hyperfocus on) but it's still something special to me. In a similar way that the English dub of the Tiny puppy tired and weak movie is. Weirdly my attachment and softness towards Tiny is of childhood nostalgia and Skinamarink is like, something I didn't grow up with but it's *how* I grew up and there's nostalgia I guess. One of the first things I said about it after I had first finished watching that it's basically if they made a machine that supposedly records videos of memories but spit this out instead, and that it's the memories from an alternate universe of me that isn't sentient, and that I was afraid it would be what I would experience after I died. It really accurately to me showed the way my nyctophobia works which I don't see all too often in video format.

In the end what it mainly did was inspire me. I want to remake a version for myself. Saccharine and masturbatory or whatever the phrase is. More character depth in Kevin and more information in regards to the entity mainly. I'm so entranced by the little scraps of lore we got that I really want more detail into the world that was made. Managing to feel inspired after the diagnosis and then losing Cazza to cancer has been increasingly more and more difficult so I'm really grateful to Kyle Ball for making something that caused me to think creatively again.

But yeah. Kyle idk if you're ever gonna read this but thank you for making it. I've had a lot of fun since discovering the movie and want to see more things in the future. Sorry me and a bunch of other people are negative at times but Skinamarink does still mean a lot to me and I'm interested in what you do next.

#text post #Skinamarink

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iwannawritelots · 2 years

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Save Me, -Lucifer

Originally written September 2021

Masterlist

Genre: hurt, angst, comfort

Ship(s): Barbatos X Lucifer (or just queerplatonic tbh)

PLATONIC: Mammon and Lucifer

Trigger/content warnings: chronic pain disorder flare up, blood tears (I used blood tears a lot at this point for whatever reason lol)

Headcanons/notes from the author: this was written with the headcanon Lucifer developed a chronic pain disorder after the Great Celestial War (please don’t make “haha he’s old” jokes, not all disabled people are elderly and that was not the intention of this fic).

Brief Blurb: Lucifer has a bad chronic pain flare up and can’t bring himself to move from his desk.

It was way too much.

Lucifer was at his wit's end. Nothing was helping him calm down, and he didn't have anything to distract himself with. It didn't help that his body decided to have a chronic pain flare up, so it hurt to move. He had been sitting at his desk for days, and he hadn't gotten up once. Whenever he tried, a shock of pain would wash through him, making him cry out and writhe. There was nothing to do except sit and attempt to work.

Usually, his pain wasn't this horrible. It was constant, sure... but he had learned to get by with it since it developed, mostly. The flare ups were the worst of it, and even then they usually didn't make him incapable of doing basics... or rather, his stubbornness didn't allow. This time though, he was already in a bad place mentally, and the flare up had settled in. He knew it would stay for a long while.

There was a knock at the door, and he let out an exasperated sigh. "Come in..."

"Lucifer, you haven't left your room for a few days... are you okay?" Mammon walked over and sat in a chair near the desk. "Like, have you eaten?"

Groaning, Lucifer rubbed his temples. "I just don't feel good."

"So you didn't move from your room for three days?"

"Mammon go away." Pouting, Mammon reached over, but Lucifer recoiled from his hand. "Seriously, just leave me alone." He sniffed, blinking back tears. Now that someone had reached out to him, it was difficult to push them away. He wanted to ask for help so badly, but pride was swallowing him. "I just need some time..."

Eyebrows furrowed, Mammon asked him, "Do you need help?"

"N-No, that's utterly ridiculous. I'm just—" Lucifer was interrupted by a sudden stabbing sensation from moving his arm, biting his lip and curling into himself. "Fuck..." he swallowed down a sob, hiding his face in his hands. "Just go away. Now."

"Is it that pain thing?"

"H-How do you know about that?" Lucifer had intended to snap at him, but it sounded more like a kicked puppy's plea. "Go away, I don't care."

"I heard Barbatos talking to Simeon about it."

"I said go away..."

A little hurt, Mammon finally complied and left the room. Lucifer collapsed onto his desk, tears rolling down his cheek. He doubted Mammon or anyone else really cared enough to do anything about him staying holed up in his room. They would just be curious, not do anything, and continue to demand things of him, like always.

"Lucifer, the internet!"

"Luci, fur or no?"

"Sushi-fer!"

"Luuucciifeerr."

"Lucifer! The credit card!"

More tears rolled down his cheeks. He loved his brothers so much, but there was only so much he could do... He just wanted to keep going, so why did it hurt so bad...? Ever since this pain developed it just made everything so difficult... it hurt... Why does it hurt?

Lucifer wasn't sure how long he sat there crying, but eventually he felt a gloved hand go through his hair. "Lucifer, hey... shhh..." He recognized the voice, but he was too exhausted and pained to think about exactly who it was. "Lucifer, you should have contacted me..." Weakly, Lucifer moved his head to its side, and he met Barbatos' gaze. "You're crying blood..."

Sniffling, Lucifer muttered, "I-I'm sorry... I know all these papers are due... I'm r-really trying..."

"How long have you been like this?" Barbatos kissed Lucifer's forehead and ran his fingers through his hair. "Lucifer, don't tell me you really have been in here for three days..."

Lucifer blinked out a few more drops of blood, then squeezed his eyes shut. "I-It hurt too much to move... so I... just stayed at my desk..." he mumbled, the crying not helping his pain very much. "I... I just want to feel better... make it stop..."

Frowning, Barbatos wiped Lucifer's face. "It's okay... I've got you..." He continued to play with Lucifer's hair, wanting to calm him. "Tell me, will it hurt too much if I move you to bed?"

"Yes... b-but it hurts sitting like this..."

Barbatos very carefully scooped Lucifer into his arms, then walked to the bed and laid him down. "There, now you can be comfortable..." he said softly, pushing some of Lucifer's hair out of his face. "I'm so sorry, Lucifer."

"I-It's not your fault... I... I... I just... I hurt so bad..." mumbled Lucifer, not sure how to describe the searing pain he felt. "It's n-never been this bad before..."

Barbatos kissed his forehead. "Shhh..."

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doberbutts · 2 years

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Oh god I feel the exact same way. Strange has his head firmly inserted in his ass in regards to that he is disabled and it rubs me the wrong way. Like he thinks that he can't be himself if he isn't abled. Dude I get the gifted kid gotta-be-perfect attitude but when you crash and burn because you can't do what you used to, you have to find your resilience and refocus your pride or you're gonna spend your whole life wishing for a life that you couldn't possibly have.

Also... winteriron for the win?

Yeah I think that's definitely part of it. Stark's change from pre-kidnapping to post-kidnapping I feel was a mix of PTSD (even tho the movies don't ever call it that except to mock him pbbbbbt), him becoming physically disabled with a lifethreatening heart condition, and him accepting that this happening was absolutely at least partially his fault. In some deleted scenes from the first IM we see him struggle a bit with the fact that yeah now there's a giant piece of metal in his chest and he will Literally Die if the device gives out, it's even used against him in the final cut of the movie for plot. He panics when he first wakes up and finds it and his first action is to modify it to be more practical (after he's done grieving his past life and recoups from the torture, somewhat spurred on by Yinsen since he was doomspiralling a bit). He doesn't have it anymore by the time we get to CW but the way the scene is framed with Bucky driving the shield into his chestpiece is still meant to be shocking because the audience is used to that equalling certain death.

On the other hand Strange spends the majority of his intro movie spiralling so far out of control that he feels the need to travel to a different country to learn magic because he's convinced they'll heal him. And when he's even told by them, you are too egotistical and also we're not healing you like that, he still doesn't change. He spends his movie chasing away those close to him and having a tantrum that his hands shake and I get it! I do! I spent several months grappling with the frustration of having accidentally thrown something precious to me on the floor and it broke because I can't control my own hand tremors.

But even when he does learn magic it's because he had to be shown someone doing it who didn't even have hands, and then when he becomes proficient he doesn't change his outlook at all. He was a jerk going into this and his newfound disability, like Stark, is at least partially his fault. Instead of learning from that and growing as a person he just cannot accept that this is his life now and maybe he should be less of a prideful jerk and then he won't do stupid things like drive while looking at case files or entirely break the universe because he thought he had a handle on things 🤷‍♂️

Stark had his laundry list of character flaws but he still learned and grew as a person, the flaws made sense- I understand where he's coming from when he funds Shield's pre-terrorist AI assassin network. When he builds Ultron. When he signs the Accords. I think these are wrong actions but I understand his mindset. I get why he genuinely tries to kill Bucky. I don't think I could forgive my parents' killer easily either and certainly not if I've been hung up over their deaths for 30 years. Logically in Bucky's case it's not his fault, but since when are grief and trauma and emotion affected by logic?

But I don't feel like Strange has grown at all. He was an egotistical unlikeable jerk with some scathing one-liners before and he's still an egotistical unlikeable jerk with some scathing one-liners. Where is the charm, the charisma? Where is the 'okay yes he's kind of a dick BUT LOOK he's also nice to kids/puppies/his girlfriend'? Stark was always kind of an abrasive asshole but with enough charm and charisma and some genuine niceness peeking through that (general) you kind of forgave him for it. That's absent for Strange, so he's just not as likeable or fun to watch and thus I find myself uninterested in his entire contribution to these movies. Yeah he's kind of taken in a kid or two at this point- he's helped out Peter and now America- and maybe we'll see some of that start to change him. But as he is right now I just find him uninspiring and annoying to watch. He wasn't nice to anyone in his intro movie, he wasn't nice to anyone in Thor 3, he wasn't nice to anyone in Infinity War/Endgame... he was okay to Peter in NWH and nice enough I guess to America in this new movie but... I feel like it's not enough.

BIG SIGH anyway...

I don't actually like Winteriron, again I too would struggle to forgive the man who killed my parents even if he was mind controlled into doing so. I do love Bucky and I again don't think it's his fault, but... there's ✨ complexity ✨ there and also I like Sam/Steve/Bucky better as a dynamic. America sammich 😅

#for the record I don't like CA bc I think his character is boring #he got progressively more interesting once he stopped being such a boy scout #but I love me some WS so... I'll forgive captain boyscout for being kind of a stick in the mud #also I feel like 'but he was nice to a kid in this recent movie' is basically like #trying to judge the entirety of a character on a single interaction in a single movie #maybe he just hasn't been in enough movies #but I liked IM from the first one so 🤷‍♂️#I also have loyal bitch disease and often stop watching something after my favorite characrer dies so there's that too lmao

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blackprideandboondocks · 2 years

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hi! welcome to my black pride account! i never had anything like this but i want to embrace my melanin.

my name is damien, arson, ransom, or iniko.

i'm a name hoarder.

i'm a system of 20+ and counting.

i'm the host.

i am nonhuman: demon, vampire, puppy, ghost, goat kid.

our body is an adult and bodily black.

we're autistic, chronically mentally ill and have chronic fatigue.

🔪 and i love boondocks.

i'm an age regressor.

i have an age regression shop.

i work in a child development center and am focusing on being a teacher for children with special needs.

i am in a polyamorous relationship.

my special interests:

sharks and ocean life

baphomet and satanism

age regression

kn*ves

cvlts and cvlt leaders

poorstacy + xxxtentacion

horror

learning about osdd and our system

unknown black history

unfairness and standards within the black community

black rights for lgbt+, disabled, alternative, mentally ill, different black people

+more

↓↓ links ↓↓

age regression blog: littlegoatkiddo

shark blog: princeoftheocean

age regression shop

osddid information

••will add more information as time goes on

dni// racists, ableists, homophobics, transphobics, not believing trans men can carry their children, anti-xenogenders and neopronouns, ddlg + variants and their supporters, fake claimers, anti-self dx (not everyone can afford a diagnosis), endo systems, romantising of mental illness, personality disorder demonisers, anti-recovery, call spoonies lazy, will use people's triggers purposely

DEFINITELY DO NOT INTERACT IF: are colourist, you believe black people being lgbt+ is a "white" thing, you don't resoect black people's traumas, don't believe in multiracial love, ignore mental health of black people, refuse to acknowledge the problems within the black community, call black people "white" for talking without using ebonics, alternative, listen to different music besides rap + rnb, like anime, etc, think because of these differences that we are ashamed of being black, you demonise dark skinned men, women, people

#black trans #black alternative #melanin #black lgbt #black pride #blackeboy #loving my melanin

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cesium-sheep · 27 days

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oh no not only are lauraillustrates blanket preorders only open till the 25th and the disability pride puppy is probably only up until the 2nd it's also kirby's birthday month and there's probably gonna be new merch ;n;

maybe I'll be really really really really lucky and the immunologist next week can do something to help me right away so I might be well enough to make some money. selling those december leftovers or taking commissions or something.

#I'm sure if I made a big deal about it they might be willing to get something for me #either one of them lets me pick out basically whatever whenever we go somewhere #but I also want nice yarn from the shop we just found and I know that's probably gonna be expensive :s #*and* bark's bog said it's almost glubby season TnT

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loudestcloud · 4 months

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💥 Fandom battle jacket tour 💥

👇🏻Explanations and details👇🏻 please forgive spelling mistakes, it's midnight n I'm tired n need to be up at 6 tomorrow

The back is a custom t shirt I ordered of official Pokémon card art of my top favourite Pokémon. Doduo, Sandile, Aipom, Sandshrew, Heracross and Pichu but specifically THE brothers. My Doduo are always called Finn-lee and my Sandile is Harrison Wells.

The blue numbers side is full of things that I can talk about for days on end / talk about a lot on here, more of a super fan side. 1: Official button of Yuu Kamda from D.gray man. 2: Thousand sunny from One piece pin brought at an irl shop. 3: Pride pin brought at my first pride years ago. 4: Official Tumblr pin I brought when looking at the store while getting my free One piece stickers. 5: A light house pin I brought at a museum, this one represents my favourite game To the moon although I am a huge fan of the museum I got it from. 6: The love of my life A bootleg Sanji from One piece pin I brought from AliExpress because I wanted to see how bad they are to talk about the differences honestly. 7: Franky from One piece pin, also from the AliExpress test. 8: Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist doing the rosie riveter pose?, idk why maybe it's like 'disabled ppl can do it too'?, I got him in a give away from The Fullmetal. I misplaced my Bakugo pin but he'll be on that side alongside my huge funko pop Kirishima, I may update this as it goes along.

The red side is more of a chill vibes side, I love the content, they did change my life a lot but like, I couldn't tell you much about the actual fandom and the inside jokes or whatever. 1: This is the exception to the rule, Lenalee Lee from D.gray man badge. She's on this side because I am new to the fandom but also I have made edits for Kanda and she's only partly on one edit not about her. 2: This is not a fandom, this is an anti diet culture pin that says 'Donuts forever, Diets never', I got it from Candy Doll Club along with the same pin but in brown for my Katakuri jacket. I am very anti diet culture, even more so now that I have been on one and GAINED ON IT?? anyway. 3: Stranger things Hawkins High badge I bought in 2017 at an irl shop & 4: Stranger things Eleven Eggo pin brought for me as a gift from a family member I no longer speak to. 5: Official Tom Nook from Animal crossing pin! It came with my siblings pre order of New Horizons & I love and care for him still to this day like he is a medal. 6: Anxious the Elephant from the Haven Holidays mascot team. Like I said yall, I was a Holiday park kid and I stan my girl. 7: A Slush puppy pin from Candy Doll Club, on this jacket to represent Heathers the musical. I do like the movie but the musical was my everything as a young teen. 8: The danger days spider from My Chemical Romance. Bro is my favourite album, has been since a young child but I cannot tell you the law around it.

Lastly we have a Fairy tail necklace charm on a keyring loop, specifically Gray's guild mark, this pocket is on the 'blue' side. A clown a friend got me for Christmas because I love silly little guys, on the red side because he isn't anyone, he's just fun. Ace from One piece, blue side obviously and lastly this hidden Big foot, temporarily representing The Adventure zone: amnesty because I do own the patch and that will be going under the gap, i think I'll probably move Big foot over to the red side when that happens cos i know jack shit about actual cryptids.

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