heyhey i’m another disabled wheelchair user into omo and holding and all that, but i often find that my disabilities get in the way of letting me enjoy it or do it (ie: cant drink enough to get desperate, or my bladder will lock up and not let me pee when it’s time) how do you,, , like navigate stuff like that? i really wanna enjoy this kink but my body cockblocks me😭

wooo boy okay so theres a few things!

part of it for me is like, reframing. bc im not gonna be able to enact most kinks in the ways that able bodied people do so instead of hating that *i* cant do the kink, i rework the kink to fit me. like, i get REAL nauseaus REALLY easily, specifically i get ut really bad from water 🙃 so i will take it slow, or take some zofran or jist drink something else entirely.

another example is im on a medication that helps my kidneys retain water, but that means i dont really get super filled up from the amounts of water it might for an able bodied person. and on top of it all before this developed as a kink i was in pevlic floor physical therapy for urgency and pissing my pants, which kinda gave me some advantages in pissing myself on purpose

like i was told that after toddlerhood, you are ALWAYS choosing to pee. unless you have a disorder or syndrome that specifically affects your urinary tract, you are always choosing to pee. most people are just conditioned on when its acceptable to pee. so like, for example. someone who has REALLY bad urgency right before they get to the toilet has subconsciously ttained themselves to start to pee before they sit down, like a self fulfilling prophecy. if you go "oh god im not gonna make it" youre basically dooming youself. and if you do that often, youve now conditioned yourself, to the point that seeing a toilet right in front of you will give your body subconscious cues ro start to go. so someone who is trying to curb the issue i just mentioned would just wait a few seconds, or a few minutes, before sitting and peeing. (and do control exercises like kegals) until its deconditioned.

so all that being said! something im working on now is that i previously had like, 5-10 minutes after sex where i physically COULD NOT pee. and i will lose urgency while getting stimulated, so like. kinda awful for omo and related things. so ive been doing like, extremely intense (for me) and very long (many hours) holds and then sort of conditioning myself, im into edging, so ill get to the point of bursting, let out a controlled leak and then edge. or edge and then push on my bladder to be forced to leak. over and over, until either im so lost in arousal that ill be able to force myself to piss while i orgasm, or im out of pee and can now orgasm anyway. (for right now, this all happens while im sat on the toilet. less mess, and it gives my subconscious the cue to pee)

and ive made some progress! i had a few open hours and followed omo dungeon and then forved out a few big leaks while masturbating and then pissed for a VERY long time. im not anywhere near done, so if i do end up being able to pee during a sexual act its the smalled of streams. i swear i peed for a solid 90 seconds straight last night

ANYWAYS. you have to accommodate yourself. figure out what really works for you. personally soda doesnt make me have to pee but sweet tea REALLY does. i probably cant make a huge habit out of pissing myself uncontrollably because i spent a lot of time unlearning it, and while the idea of accidentally pissing myself without meaning sounds hot, as someone who has pissed themselves in public its just. real embarrassing. not in a cute way. and now that its a kink? you gotta have everyone who witnessing it give enthusiastic consent. and having genuine bladder issues really fucking sucks for like, being an adult lmao.

and so, if i decide to make this kink a regular thing in doing its gonna be a lot of pretending to wet myself, like getting to bursting but not actually truly losing control. a lot of practicing kink is actually just improv and acting im sorry to say 😬

if you wanna talk more ab it feel free to ask more questions! or dm me! im an open book! and your situation is most likely different from mine mechanically. but i can probably help you try to navigate it, might be better to have more specifics before i can give more pointed advice anyways.

as always! consent is key, dont do things that can alter your life outside the scene, and be kind to yourself if you cant fullfil the kink exactly how you want.

Pushing him to the ground and hitting him with my cane, I can't help it he sounds so good with each blow to his ass

The Book That Made Me Want to Quit

If you’re a newsletter reader or have followed me since September, you probably know the answer to this question. I appreciate it when another author shares their low points, so I figured I could share mine. Ever since Flame For You came out in March 2022, and readers met Quinn Walsh, they’ve asked me if Kayleigh, his little sister, is going to get a book of her own. Look, I might not be in the…

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i'm bored so i kind of want to write a non-fetish post elaborating on disability and my relationship with my beautiful dyke husband for my tiny audience

i do address them as "daddy," which is partially just a dom title but does in part refer to the fact that they take care of me. this caretaking happens largely because my specific combo of disabilities means i need more help and guidance to live than the average adult; husband and my therapist are my main supports for my continued survival. i really do need husband/daddy's help to get along, beyond any sort of kink, and i'm coming to terms with it.

gonna stick a read more here bc this is turning into an essay 😭 (warning for a brief mention of suicide/being suicidal)

after i emotionally/physically struggled my way through college, young adult life didn't prove any easier and hasn't yet let up! 😭 without the support of my parents at first and later husband, i wouldn't make it. i'd starve, or never pay my bills, or off myself, or end up hiding in my house forever. husband and me accepting that they do play a disability caregiver role has been good for me, if difficult for me to not be upset about (i deal with lots of feelings of being a burden). fitting it into our existing dom/sub dynamic and making daddy/puppy a more regular part of our life at home has actually really helped me pull myself out of the absolute desolation of it all! we both get to have fun with it and not always dwell on the serious parts of my situation.

husband is disabled too, so the helping is reciprocal, but in general they are the one who makes sure i'm meeting my daily needs and has fidget toys on hand for both of us and helps me figure out complicated government paperwork and stuff. they recognize when i'm starting to get stressed or upset or overwhelmed, sometimes before i even realize it myself, and they know what they can do to help (like take me out of a loud bright place or bring me a stuffie...or a dab pen :P). they are also currently our only source of income because i am the unemployed kind of disabled right now.

this whole thing makes our dynamic deep, complicated, sometimes very intimate and special and sometimes incredibly mundane, and just...uniquely ours. daddy helps me learn new life skills, cuddles me, buys me plushies, makes me dinner, fucks me silly at their own discretion, and makes sure i'm not allowing myself to decay due to The Brain Problems. in return, i cuddle them to death, sometimes top and dom ("pretending to be the daddy," as they have called it) bc they're a vers switch and so am i, and make them take breaks from work and remember their meds and enforce their boundaries at work (otherwise nonprofit work will wring you dry). i just love them so, so much, and daddy is the affectionate nickname i've given them out of that deep love. the name "daddy" also encapsulates the feelings of responsibility and affection they have for me as both a caretaker and a partner. i'm unfathomably grateful to have someone who guides me through life and cares about me so deeply. they're my daddy, y'know? :)

hot take that should be much more lukewarm than it is: if your feminism doesn't have room for piercings and tattoos and dyed hair and collars and animal ear headbands and stuff like that, it's not really all that feminist.

people can just do what they want. if they want to get cosmetic surgeries or use different names or pronouns or dress "weird" those things are just allowed. cringe is dead. doing things that don't affect others in any meaningful way but make you feel good is good.

people can decorate their mobility aids. wear clothes with metal studs on them. go out in horrendously loud tie-dye mess clothes. we love that. that's bodily autonomy for you.

being loudly queer and gay and trans and a feminist and disabled and a legitimate animal and a furry is cool as fuck actually it's 2023.

use whatever swear words you want. the weird old WASPs giving you stares are because they're not as cool as you.

this also goes for kinks and those who (safely and consensually) practice them btw, even that one you find weird.

"bodily autonomy but only for people who make the same decisions as me about how to decorate and use theirs" isn't good feminism practices.

go forth and be safe ofc but above all be yourself

hey btw everyone- people with mental disabilities can and, very often do, experience sexual attraction, get horny, have kinks/fetishes/paraphilias, masturbate, have sex, etc. this includes people with intellectual disabilities and/or any kind of developmental disabilities.

please stop acting like mentally disabled people Never have Any sexual wants/needs when that is so unbelievably untrue that by saying that, youre just admitting that you have obviously never interacted with more than a handful of mentally disabled people, if any at all.

i see it all the time (particularly irl when i talk about my job) where people will try to say that mentally disabled people cant have sex because they're basically children or because they dont understand it or because they cant make their own choices or it would always be coercion or they never ever want it themselves and that just isnt fucking true????

mentally disabled people can make their own choices, they know what feels good to them and what doesnt, they understand when they want to do something and when they don't. mentally disabled adults are not "like children". mentally disabled people are capable of being sexual. sure, some mentally disabled ppl are asexual, just like some able minded people are asexual. because mentally disabled people are human beings, just like everyone else

First GIF I've ever made. It's of myself. If you liked it, plz tap buttons so I know you want me to make more gifs like this

NEED a sub that wants to be stepped on

in the mood to stay at home and play video games all day, grazing on snacks so im always comfortably full, becoming unbearably stuffed when im given a full meal after all of that. im in the mood to laze about and enjoy myself, my plush fat swelling further and further into and over the arms of my gamer chair, always in danger of getting stuck

this is kinda different but hear me out. human with chronic pain whose larger monster partner is normally very gentle with them so they don't make the pain worse, snuggling them and doting on them lovingly after

and then the human gets new medications, which work so well, but make them drowsy as a side effect, and they keep falling asleep, but they don't have any real pain anymore. and they're pumped, because it means they can really get fucked the way they want without being incredibly sore after.

their partner is understandably worried about this, but the human assures them it's not anything to worry about, so they go at it, claws digging into them, long, slow thrusts, rhythmically pounding the metaphorical life out of the human they're using as a breeding bitch

and then the human yawns. and then they yawn again. and the monster really thinks they should stop but the human's begging, no, please, i've wanted this for years, don't stop, i want you to use me, so they don't stop

and then they fall asleep. and the monster probably should stop at this point, but their human feels so fucking good, and they're really asleep but they're still moaning a little bit in their sleep, and oh that makes it so much hotter for reasons the monster doesn't really want to pick apart right now, and they really can't stop themselves as they groan and slam their hips in as far as they'll go, whining with need as they breed their human, who they know would ask for this anyway if they were awake

and the human blinks slowly, looking around as their partner slowly lays down on top of them, realizing what happened when they feel the throb inside them, and they've definitely just found out they like something they've never heard of before.

mobility aids are sexy ⛓️🖤

tips ♡ wishlist

Having a bad day with my disability today, anyone want to fuck my virgin hole and throat while I'm too sore and tired to stop you 🥺🥺🥺

this one is a weirder post but it bothers me how in the push to destigmatize kink over the last fiftyish years we only really somewhat achieved that with one specific brand of it, so now "mainstream" kink is this weird entity that does stuff like feature weird amounts of red and black, has a bunch of exposed metal and leather, favors strict punishment doms and subs with extensive sets of rules, leans strangely cishet, and doesn't leave space for ace people or disabled people

and if you like those things, that is fine. i'm not trying to yuck your yums

but i'd like to see some love for kink that isn't that. show me more of:

-ace people who just do bondage for fun or to cuddle in

-bondage and reward/punishment tailored for the needs of disabled people

-actually just more kinky stuff involving disabled people in general! we have sex too!

-more comfortable, warm colored, ergonomic spaces in dungeons

-sex pairs/groups who don't have strict rules and just do whatever they (consensually ofc) are feeling like in the moment

-nonsexual kink as a rule, not just for ace people

Because kink is for everyone (who enjoys it) and there's no one way to do it!

baphobrat