backwards - warsan shire

Jedediah: i died and came back as a cowboy. i call that reintarnation

Octavius: is there something we need to discuss?

Incorrect Lmk One-Liners

Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

-Nezha

this avocado is so hard you could kill a small child with it.

-Sun Wukong

I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me.

-Macaque

Horses are nature’s most beautiful chairs.

-MK

Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

-MK

Bread is basically just flour + yeast + liquid right..?

Gatorade bread.

-MK

Please do not compliment me again. I find it quite unsettling. It is like a hearing a snake sing an aria. 

-Macaque to Wukong

I have Influenza B, which stands for Influenza B-tch.

- Sun Wukong, hoarsely

incorrect quotes prompts (1/?)

taken from this generator & this generator! triggering themes & nsfw topics may be present!

❝ i am very small and i have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that i'm under. ❞ ❝ when i see initials carved into a tree with a heart i think it's so romantic. two lovers on a date ... one of them carrying a knife for some reason. ❞ ❝ i'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. neither do i. i have never died even ONCE. nothing has been proven yet. stop making assumptions. it's rude. ❞ ❝ hey, quick question. how petty am i allowed to be? ❞ ❝ i'm not funny, i'm just really mean and people think i'm joking. ❞ ❝ i'm a masochist, not a loser. ❞ ❝ i've come to a point in my life where i need a stronger word than fuck. ❞ ❝ like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am i actually doing? ❞ ❝ i think my guardian angel drinks. ❞ ❝ behold, the field in which i grow my fucks! lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren! ❞ ❝ i said 'no' to drugs, but they wouldn't listen. ❞ ❝ i'm not a morning person. i'm barely even a person. ❞ ❝ i'm a nice person, but i'm about to start throwing rocks at people. ❞ ❝ well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. it was because shut up. shut up is why. ❞ ❝ i came out here to attack people and i'm honestly having such a good time right now. ❞ ❝ i'm the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room. ❞ ❝ died and came back as a cowboy, i call that reintarnation. ❞ ❝ could you maybe just like ... stab me ... right in the gut. just REALLY twist it in there. 'cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation. ❞ ❝ i'd like to offer you moral support, but i have questionable morals. ❞ ❝ i wish i was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a 'i can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences' kinda way. ❞ ❝ my ultimate goal is to punch god in the eye, just to spite him one last time. ❞ ❝ i would say i outdid myself, but i'm always this good, so i simply did myself. ❞ ❝ i just wanted to say that over the years, i have come to regard you as ... people i met. ❞ ❝ i'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on. ❞ ❝ you treat an outside would with rubbing alcohol. you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. ❞ ❝ it's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged. ❞ ❝ you'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but i made a mistake. ❞

Dean: I died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation

Jimmy : Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

*Buck, after coming back from his coma and remembering Eddie's last words to him*

Buck: Died and came back as a cowboy.

Buck: I call that reintarnation.

Soul: Died and came back as a cowboy.

Soul: I call that reintarnation.

Helen: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

toji: died and came back as a cowboy, i call that reintarnation.

Arthur: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

cliffjumper: died and came back as a cowboy, call that shit reintarnation

I DIDNT REALIZE THE PUN AT FIRST BUT I CACKLED

Brad: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

Incorrect ATLA One-liners

Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

-Mai

this avocado is so hard you could kill a small child with it.

-Toph

I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me.

-Zuko

Horses are nature’s most beautiful chairs.

-Sokka

Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

-Sokka

Bread is basically just flour + yeast + liquid right..?

Gatorade bread.

-Sokka

Please do not compliment me again. I find it quite unsettling. It is like a hearing a snake sing an aria. 

-Katara to Zuko

I have Influenza B, which stands for Influenza B-tch.

- Toph, hoarsely

jack: i died and came back as a cowboy. i call that reintarnation.

Skull: died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation

Lucy: what the fuck