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sleepinghypnos · 2 months

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The Creed...

Chapter 1 - Penthouse

Genre: Smut

Tags: F/M, F/F/M, F/F/F/M, Facefuck, Throatfucking Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Harem, Self-degradation, Masochism/Sadism(?), Cum Play, Piss Play

(The things in the tags will be present when the time needs for it.)

Disclaimer: This work is a fan-fiction and does not depict the person/people mentioned in the story.

A/N: You can self-insert if you want...

Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!

"What is it? I'm preoccupied, so make it quick." Vlad answered the call.

"Fine. Just send them to my house... but I will not be responsible if something happens to them." He replied with his slightly deep voice and end the call.

*Silenced Gunshot*

"Blame your competitor, not me." Vlad immediately packed up his sniper rifle and fled the scene while remembering what one of his close associates in the entertainment industry said few moments ago, he begged him to accommodate a number of female K-pop idols for the purpose of strengthening the bond between idols through a experimental project wherein they live together as Tenants, cameras will not be present just them living together and at the end of their time as tenants they will do an interview regarding the way of life living with other k-pop idols aside from their respective members. In this way, the fandoms of each k-pop group will stop fighting over trivial things on the internet and support other idols.

Vladimir Creed was a 26 year old Half-European and Half-American man. His parents died in a car accident when he was still a child and only his grandfather is his only family left. He's living a lavish lifestyle full of money, expensive cars and women...

His family or more like his grandfather founded a huge company in America and owns many stocks in the entertainment industry in Korea and since Vlad is not someone who actively makes himself noticeable or well-known, he parties without revealing his true identity to anyone with a few exception of course, he has few actual friends and all of them are also young masters of their own families just like he was and he rarely expresses his emotions so he has a hard time managing it.

In his typical days, he spends most of his time just relaxing in his penthouse, in which he bought himself with his own money. though it may seem strange since he parties every chance he get, he has a very unique talent and that is being a hired gun that even his grandfather didn't know.

And while relaxing, he usually goes naked after a shower because there is no one in the house, It's is personal space after all. His maids and butlers will only come if they were asked for and he cooks for himself.

His penthouse is in a small island near the coast and there is only one bridge connected to it. So, guests who'll visit the island can use the bridge without the need of boats.

...

Vlad arrived at his house but welcomed by cars parked near the main gate. "What the fuck is this?" He said to himself, he got out of his car to check what's going on then he remembered Eunseok, one of his close associates said few hours ago. "Now it makes."

Then he called one of the guards to let him pass, and so they did. He drove and the people blocking the path dispersed and he got in smoothly.

"Let them in, they are going to live here indefinitely." Vlad announced to the guards and went inside to change.

Most of the people outside the penthouse are already inside the living area, he saw the k-pop idols waiting for the master of the house.

"I'm Vladimir Creed, but you can call me Vlad. I'm the owner of this house, my friend already told me what you guys are going to do. So feel free live here." and he looked at managers of each of the group "There are places in the house that is not available, I don't care if they used the swimming pool, drink at the bar." Pointing at the wet bar near the kitchen. "Or anything, but, all of third floor is off limits because that's where my room is located."

The producer nodded and introduce the idols that will be living with him in the house.

He extended his hand for a handshake to ITZY's Yuna and Ryujin, Aespa's Karina and Winter, (G)-Idle's Soyeon and Miyeon, Red Velvet's Irene, Seulgi, and Joy, and Twice's Sana, Mina, and Nayeon which they received with a smile.

One day has passed, the girls are eating lunch in the long refectory table since they woke up late just like Vlad was and the maids and butlers were there to assist them.

After lunch, the Red Velvet and Twice members were gathered in the backyard, enjoying a beautiful sunny day by the pool. They were relaxing and chatting about their recent performances, when they suddenly heard a splash from the pool.

Curious, they all turned to see Nayeon filling up a water gun and aimed at them. Panic set in as they scream and run around the pool to avoid getting wet since they just want to enjoy the sun.

Running made them exhausted and they decided to have a friendly water fight. Joy and Seulgi teamed up against Sana and Mina, Nayeon and Irene. Laughter and screams filled the air as they chased each other around the pool, trying to get each other wet

In the living room, Ryujin and Karina were sharing a bucket of ice cream while watching a romantic K-drama. They were joined by Soyeon and Miyeon, who couldn't resist the delicious smell of the popcorn. They all cuddled under a blanket, enjoying the show and teasing each other about their favorite characters. Yuna and Winter are busy doing some tiktok challenge.

As the sun set, the members of ITZY, Aespa, and (G)-Idle joined their sun-kissed Seniors in the pool. They all gathered around the pool, sharing stories, and having a heart-to-heart conversation. For a moment, the backyard was filled with the sound of their laughter and friendship.

As the night came, they all gathered in the living room to watch a movie together. They munched on some snacks and cuddled on the couch, enjoying their time together. It was a perfect day off for all of them, a day filled with laughter, bonding, and memories that they will cherish forever.

Karina asked the butler where Vlad was and she was led to the study where he spends time if he's not doing anything.

When Karina entered the study, she was met with a tall, imposing figure staring at her from behind a large oak desk. Vlad's dark hair was slicked back, and he exuded a sense of power and mystery. Karina couldn't help but feel a pull towards him, she already know that this man is handsome the moment she land her eyes on him earlier in the morning.

"Um, Sir? I just want to asked if we can have some of the liquor in the wet bar." She asked while slowly approaching him.

"Didn't I told you girls that you can do whatever you want with the wet bar?" He answered and walked to towards her. "And you're asking me when you already half drunk."

Karina got embarrassed but it faded when a faint smile appeared on Vlad's lips, she was mesmerized. "Are you sure that's the reason why you're here?" he was close to her, Karina needs to look up just to meet his eyes.

Karina pulls him for a kiss and reciprocated it with the same intensity. It started as vanilla kissing until in turns into something like animals in heat and eventually began to make out with insane passion. Vlad grab her waist to pull her closer, her hands were hugging his neck.

He noticed she wanted more and so he obliged and brought one hand to feel up her breasts which made Karina moan between their kisses.

Their kiss was passionate, Vlad keeping her in his arms while she let herself be consumed by him. It lasted for few minutes until they both stopped quietly staring at each other.

"D-did you like it?" Karina said while catching her breathe.

"I did, your lips are sweet with a hint of whiskey... you really were half drunk." Brushing his thumb on her lips. "Want me to lead this time?" he asked her while caressing her face.

"Yes, please." Karina said.

“Do you think could handle it?” Vlad responded seemingly showing concern.

Karina nodded. “I did have my own few boyfriends before...”

“I won't doubt it but... I get rough. Really rough. I'm sure it's something you haven't experience before..."

“You are worrying about me and that's sweet but I think I'm gonna be fine... please don't hold back and just give it to me.” She said while making a serious face.

Vlad's hand roam towards her neck and stayed there and slowly gripping it. Her cunt throb as they kiss again and slowly stripping each other’s clothes off, his hands still in her neck slightly choking her.

As their bodies got liberated from their clothing, Vlad immediately attacks Karina's big breasts making her moan, her hands couldn't resist to push his head closer. His other hand goes to Karina's precious treasure and starts invading it.

"This fucking slutty tits of yours keeps leering people on." Vlad said while groping her breasts and assaulting them with his tongue...

"Fuck! Yes! It feels good, sir." Karina said.

Which made Vlad riled up even more. "Sir?" He stopped groping her breast.

"You don't like being called like that? I'll change it." She said while pleading to continue to pleasure her.

He doesn't like getting called Daddy/Oppa. The women he's been with keeps calling him that and he got bored by it, now he prefers to called by his name but this time around is different.

Sir? of all the things that someone can be called... Sir is the one getting him riled up.

"No, keep it that way... now get on your knees whore." Vlad said with a commanding aura. “I’m going to use your mouth as a fleshlight. Pull my cock out.”

Karina didn't expect the monster hiding beneath his pants. She could see the bulge of his massive cock. Now she knows why he said 'Something she haven't experience before.' because it's true. He is much bigger than the guys she's been with. So much bigger. She feels hotter and hotter than usual.

Vlad's dick stands proud at 10 inches and is almost girthy as a water bottle.

“You are so massive, fucking massive!” Karina said as she freed his cock and hit her in the face. She stare at his huge member mesmerized by it.

“My god! Why are you so big? Can you even use this?” She said as she grabbed his cock with with both hands. "And you're going to use my mouth with this thing?"

"What? Are you scared? I told you I'm rough and I mean it." He said seriously. "You are going to take every inch of my cock in your throat whether you like it or not."

Karina got nervous but her lust towards him is much heavier.

She showered his cock with kisses, admiring every inch, as if she's worshipping his massive member.

"Suck it." And she did, she gives him a slow and sensual blowjob, keeping her eyes on him.

"You came in her just to do that?"

“What do you mean, Sir?”

He grabbed her by the hair she opened her mouth and swallowed as much of him as she possibly could.

COUGH COUGH COUGH

Relaxing her throat as she let his girthy cock push through her throat. She struggled for a minute and he's watching her giving herself to him.

Vlad guides her and she bobbed her head up and down to see how deep she could take him over and over and over again. Her eyes were tearing up, saliva dripping down as she takes his girthy cock in her throat.

She taps his legs but Vlad ignored her protests and stayed in her throat. "I told you, I'm rough... you don't know what you get yourself into."

He is fucking her throat with reckless abandon and not caring if she can still breathe. Few seconds more and he let go and she breathe hastily. "Sh-shit! I almost passed out." She coughs. "Fuck!"

"Just accept your role as my slut from now on." He slaps her face with his massive heavy cock.

He forced his cock back into her throat. She gives in, letting this man use her mouth and throat as a fleshlight. Her eyes were rolled back into her head.

GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK

Her moaning and gagging sounds filled the study, the moonlight touches her silky white skin enhancing her beauty further while her throat is getting violated. Even though she already accepted her fate, she still needs to breathe and she tried to struggle for air but failed.

“MMMPPHKKKK!” She resists and got ignored.

“Just stay there, don't regret your decisions now.” Vlad said and spent another three seconds before letting Karina go.

She chokes and gags even though she's already freed from that monster of a cock. “Did I... do a good job, Sir?” She asked noticeably exhausted. She then received another batch of throatfucking and this time, it's much easier but it still hurts.

GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK

She's taking it like a good little slut, moaning and groaning every time Vlad thrusts too deep in her throat. Karina became accustomed to the massive rod destroying her tight throat and she slowly but surely loving the way he manhandle her without any care about her well-being.

"I'm cumming you little slut!" He said and starts speeding up in his assaults. After all of this, he gave her some leeway and pull his cock out of her mouth. "Want to drink it?"

“YES! T-thank you, feed me your c-cum! Please sir, I'm begging you!!!” She said before he shoved his cock back into her mouth again.

Vlad reached his climax and poured it all in Karina's throat, he releases an obscene amount of cum like he's been holding it for long while. She willingly swallow every bit of it. Few ropes of his cum left in her mouth, she put on a show by gurgling, swirling her tongue cover of his cum then swallowing it.

“Oh my god... fucking hell... that was heavenly!” She said as she crawled over to him and started to lick his shaft cleaning it. “I need to be treated like that again, Sir. Please! You are right, I never experienced that before..”

"Oh, That's only the beginning little slut." He said while grabbing her in the neck and pulling her up.

A/N: Another Series that I might abandon but... oh well. I planned on doing the Bodyguard EP. 6 but idk when to actually do it.

#kpop smut #smut #kpop fic #itzy smut #aespa smut #kpop #red velvet smut #twice smut #(g)-idle smut #karina smut

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clarste · 9 months

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This may be too much work, so feel free to disregard this ask if so, but: Do you mind summarizing the plot of TH19? I've tried to piece it together through the translations I've been able to find online, but I'm not having much luck :')

Sure, why not. Spoilers below the break.

The incident that drives everything is that as a side-effect of what Chimata did in Touhou 18, some piece of land or whatever has lost its ownership, and theoretically a bunch of spirits are fighting to claim it. But the only spirits that matter for the plot are Yachie, Saki, and Yuuma, the three Animal Realm yakuza leaders from Touhou 17, who are using this as an opportunity to invade the surface. They each recruit an agent from Gensokyo to help them out (Biten, Enoko, and Chiyari), because Animal Realm spirits don't have bodies which limits what they can do on the surface.

However, Zanmu, a famous oni from Hell, doesn't like the idea of spirits from the Animal Realm taking over the surface. Not because she thinks they have a chance, but because if they cause too much chaos up there, the armies of Hell won't just sit back and watch, and would intercede as a peacekeeping force or whatever (Hell continues to be the USA, metaphorically). And that's bad. So she comes up with a plan to stop the animal yakuza, and that plan is basically the entirety of the game, because Zanmu is a nigh-omniscient genius chessmaster who can easily manipulate everyone from behind the scenes. That's not like, a magical power she has, she's just that good. A recurring theme is that everyone is "dancing on her palm" and that everything that could possibly happen has already been accounted for in The Plan.

Anyway, the basic gist of her plan is to insert double agents into each of the three animal yakuza gangs (Biten, Enoko, and Chiyari) and have them waste the yakuzas' time until the incident sorts itself out naturally, ie: the land's ownership naturally reasserts itself for whatever reason. So the new recruits' job is just to pretend to be bumbling and useless and prevent anything important from happening. And they do it because they are all absolutely loyal to Zanmu for various reasons, but hold no particular grudges against the yakuza and do seem to intend to stick around afterward. This part of the plan goes perfectly.

The next part of the plan is for Zanmu to personally beat up the three yakuza leaders, showing them that they never stood a chance to begin with so they won't even think of trying again, and then pretend to be the mastermind herself and lose to Reimu on purpose in order to reassert the status quo where Reimu always resolves incidents. However, what both Suika and Reimu intuit (and you can only use intuition against Zanmu, using logic will just fall into her trap) is that Zanmu has an ulterior motive here, which is to establish herself as an absolute being in everyone's minds, which would eventually lead to her naturally taking control over Gensokyo and running it like a zoo, an endangered animal preserve. "These creatures are too dumb to take care of themselves, and therefore I need to be in control."

Now, this is bad, but Zanmu is way too smart and strong to actually go up against directly. So the best Suika and Reimu can manage is to mess up her plan ever so slightly by not letting her lose on purpose to Reimu. IE: Zanmu wins the fight, doesn't get her perfect storybook ending where Reimu is the hero, and is forced to realize that she is not 100% infallible. Just 99% infallible.

Suika's plan also relies on Hisami betraying Zanmu, which doesn't make much sense on paper because she is completely loyal to her master, but she does it anyway because getting scolded is the only time when Zanmu pays any attention to her, and she desperately wants senpai to look at her, so it's like... Zanmu fatal flaw is not maintaining her personal relationships or something. While she did account for some "mischief," it takes a perfectly strange sequence of events for exactly one thing to go ever-so-slightly wrong.

Edit: I suppose I should add that the game is written like one of the recent fighting games, in that it assumes you've read all the story routes more or less in order, which is gated by needing to clear them to unlock others. So if you're reading the story translations out of order on a wiki that might explain your confusion. The game also kind of lies to you in the profiles, in that they provide information that is deliberately misleading in order to set up twists that occur in-game.

#touhou #touhou juuouen #touhou spoilers #unfinished dream of all living ghost

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det-loki · 6 months

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A messy collection of my thoughts and theories for episodes one and two of 'a murder at the end of the world' :

• starting off with The Doors, already a yes from me

• this is my, hmm, sixth rewatch of both episodes? maybe more? Anyway, darby is warm colors, bill is cool. love this detail.

• The Silver Doe, silver earrings. I'm convinced Darby's earring means something. I've seen others speculate that it's reference to a hourglass. it's also similar to the logo of Andy's company.

• We meet Bill in the motel room and that is when I immediately knew I was a goner for this story. sue me, Harris Dickinson is handsome. I also love his terrible haircut

• Harris and Emma's chemistry is INSANE

• "Lee. She doesn't need my help." Oh, but maybe she does Darby. I don't trust Lee's husband in any way, shape or form

• When Darby stumbles down the (poorly made) stairs and bill asks her if she's alright? listen, i love them a whole lot. even if it's common decency to ask

• creepy fucking basement.

• bill protecting darby. BILL PROTECTING DARBY!!!

• was bill shot? did the person shoot themselves?

• I feel like importance of tattoos and meaning might come into play (darby looking at crime scene photos but also bill's and darby's)

• also during the scene where darby is being messaged by Andy's assistant, someone on reddit theorized that the letters on darbys open tabs are a code. Maybe?

• The health check before boarding the plane is raising red flags for me. Mainly the cheek swab. I dunno

• Alice Braga! You gorgeous human

• Martin reading Darby's book right in front of her is a little bit strange for a multitude of reasons but I'm definitely reading too much into most of my thoughts about it

• Darby's attention to detail is so good and such a wonderful element, considering the storyline

• Grimes.

• The closeup on Martin's nightmare on the plane. Obviously a deliberate camera choice. But whyyyy

• Flashback to Bill in the bath. I assume it's after they were confronted with the gun. Bloody rags and dirty water, Bill seems physically okay. previous point, was he shot?

• "I think this is both too much and not enough."

• Camera/Darby lingers on fisherman.

• Ray makes me nervous

• Oxygen tank to Lee's room. Strange. Food to Lee's room that Zoomer accepts, strange. Lee cleaning up the broken glass and making eye contact with Darby. very strange.

• The deep fake talk with Oliver about how you can make anyone say anything will definitely come back later. isn't audio recorded in every room or did I misunderstood that in ep 2?

• Lee and Andy are not selling me on a happy marriage. Back to maybe Lee does need Darby's help.

• Bill appearing at dinner. Was he late or early? the way bill and darby look at one another make me melt

• Also, as Bill sits down, Sian says 'definitely not him' meaning Andy didn't invite him, Lee did. And we later learn that Lee and Bill knew eachother. (how tf did darby not know that if she is such a fan of Lee. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEANNN)

• The lighting plays a huge roll. The halos above Darby and Bill at dinner

• I too would choke after seeing bill again for the first time in six years

• Lee's toast, 'to finding a way out.' And then Andy saying, 'together.' ???

• Zoomer. Robot child? Bill's kid? strange little dude nonetheless. (Zoomer doesn't/can't eat. Lee and Andy looking at one another while Zoomer and Bill play. darbys smile as she watches them. then the face bill makes after zoomer is called to sit down. and the way he responds to question of how old he is???)

• The pool scene. These people are so cliquey. yuck

• Darby punching bill and then immediately asking him for a drink. I get it. Also the way he looked at her after she punched him. Lovesick.

• Bill telling her how he loved her book, oh my God. "Really tough and fragile at the same time" fucking incredible line.

• Bill and Darby flirting

• "I need to tell you something." Insert Jennifer Lawrence clip, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

• Darby runs into Marius, the hotel manager when she goes to Bill's room. Suspect but maybe too obvious?

• Bill asking her to stay as he dies. Holding hands through the glass. Him smiling at her. It's all too much for me.

• So much blood for someone overdosing? Head wound.

Episode 2:

• Darby's book in Bill's room covered in blood. Is that Bill's copy or Martin's from the plane?

• Everyone is very insistent on getting Darby out of Bill's room.

• The tea going to Bill's room. More broken glass

• Lee comforting Darby is very nice

• Rohan (fisherman) is the only one visibly upset and reacting like a human being told about a death

• Andy and Sian are acting like Darby is overreacting about his cause of death

• Andy saying that bill wouldn't want them to go home and quit. Dude, you didn't know him. Kick rocks.

• Again, Andy and Lee are giving me bad vibes. Lee fawns around him, he speaks over her/for her

• Lu Mei seems uncomfortable when she says she'll stay, seemingly intimated by Andy or fearful of his reaction if she did say she wanted to leave. Therefore I don't think anyone is comfortable going against him. Power imbalance. Darby seems to pick up on this

• Darby going to see Bill. Her frantically asking Ray questions with obvious answers but she craves the validation that she isn't wrong about what she suspects....I'm so sad

• Bill's tattoos are so interesting and I crave meaning

• "Someone killed you."

• My knowledge of injectable drugs all comes from 90s rock musicians, so take that as you will. The needle in Bill's room is the strangest thing I've ever seen. It looks like a diabetic tester needle. And no fingerprints.

• Lee also going to Bill's room. The plot thickens (I need to re-create her outfit in this episode it's so good)

• Is Lee telling the truth about what she was actually looking for? Also her giving Darby advice. I very much like them teaming up together

• "Don't get caught."

• Is it possible that Andy/the hotel is fielding the internet? like when darby can't look up a hack for the doorbell cam. is this an ignorant question? Perhaps.

• Darby and Bill flashback! when bill offers to come pick darby up and she immediately freaks out and runs away from the conversation...I have never felt more seen or understood. me too, girl, me too.

• Do Lee and Bill having matching line tattoos on their forearms???

• Happy birthday Darby 🥺🥺🥺

• 04/14/2017 Zoomer's birthday.

• Darby has doorbell cam footage. employees have towels. noted. David on a phonecall. Bill 🥲 (not wearing his ring) Ziba hears something, looks frightened and leaves. Bill's door opens from in the inside, hallway wall is illuminated.

• Bill's smile when he meets Darby in person for the first time. I LOVE THEM!

• Creepy mask person, go away!

• the diner darby and bill meet at is called Ray's

• I believe in love at first sight because of them.

• Frank Ocean. That's all.

#a murder at the end of the world spoilers #a murder at the end of the world #bill farrah #darby hart #harris dickinson #emma corrin #brit marling

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liminalpsych-in-teyvat · 1 year

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Personal fanfic prompts (Genshin)

Fanfic prompts for myself (or if you know a fic that already exists with these themes, please point me in that direction so I can read it!):

Explore Ayato’s parentified childhood. Him avoiding dealing with it as an adult. Eventually having no choice but to deal with it. (Touching on this in A Matter of Duty but would like to do a short story focusing on it.)

Writing this one as A Matter of Duty (it’s extremely NSFW, mind the tags on AO3). That political period after the Kamisato parents died and before Ayato succeeded at proving himself as not one to be messed with. How did he manage that? Hurt/comfort where Thoma and/or Ayaka finally uncover what it cost Ayato behind the scenes. Insert trauma here.

Childe's 3 months in the Abyss. Hurt/comfort of actually revealing some of the details with ??? Zhongli maybe? Someone else? Or they find out some other way, without him telling them, and then confront him about it, insert feels here. (Is it just exhilaration that makes him seek out fights and to become stronger, or is it so he won't be a victim of that ever again? Or is he halfway suicidal, since "He has unusual tastes when it comes to combat — the encounters he craves the most being those that bring him closest to his own demise.")

Also Scara's time in the Abyss/as an experiment of Dottore. I haven't been able to find fic about this which is just confusing.

Venti drinks as self-medication/avoidance (I believe all addiction is self medication), uses deflection and humor to avoid vulnerability or dealing with his grief, he's not as happy as he seems. (Haven't gone looking for this fic, it's just my personal headcanon, it probably exists somewhere.)

Something about the Traveler as witness. Angsty experimental piece. It’s a theme that comes up repeatedly, in every land they go to: “witness this, remember this, write this, sing this when I am gone, you are not of this land and can remember when no one else can”. It hits me hard every time (as a psychotherapist, who witnesses so many inner lives that then move on without me, as they should; and I am the container for so many stories that I cannot share; and it is sometimes terribly lonely). Hits harder still when the Traveler remembers Rukkhadevata and no one else does, and the Traveler can’t even talk about it. Holding the space for people and nations and gods. They are not the main character, they are the lens.

Therapy AU with Traveler as therapist (fuck. It’d happen too. He’s the witness, after all)

Jeht/Lumine. Seriously anything. They get together finally, or they have a long distance type relationship where they meet up here and there, or hurt/comfort after everything that happened in 3.4 (at least I found a couple good fics of this), or Jeht joins Lumine for traveling around Teyvat (also a couple well done stories about that).

Fix-it fic for Tadhla because ouch did her story hurt. And she deserved better.

Tadhla/Jeht when they were both in training, maybe. I could see this being a thing. (Which means Tadhla/Jeht/Lumine could absolutely be a thing too. At least as a one-off.)

Xiao/Aether exploring Xiao's need to be owned/wielded/fear of having his own agency or making his own choices. The bindings of contracts and duty that he entered into with Morax that kept him intact even as his duties poisoned him. The mess he's become in the aftermath of Zhongli's retirement.

Zhongli didn't foresee this, thinks he's doing what's best for Xiao or it didn't even occur to him that Xiao would be undone by his strings being cut.

Or Zhongli did foresee this / did notice it, and isn't sure how to fix it or handle it. He's watching Xiao slip further and further and nothing he's tried has worked. Calls in Aether. Transfer of contract/"ownership"? (Insert kink aspects here.)

Bonus Zhongli/Childe, either past or current? Childe being another barely-held-together soul in need of grounding and containment (which of course Geo is great for).

Ayato speaks always with a purpose. “He has forgotten how to do this, Ayato realizes, panic sparking at the bottom of his chest. He doesn't know how to say useless things anymore, to talk for the sake of bringing words into the world.” (From this excellent fic.) Play with this as a therapist parallel, like what happens to me when I’ve been saying every disclosure and every line with intent, focused on clients and their well being and then struggling to switch modes to talk with my interpersonal connections.

Ayato's relationship with Shuumatsuban. Thanks to "Lord Commissioner, the Momoyo flowers have not withered. The branches grow yet. Do not worry." Vaguely The Cost of the Crown (Lackey/Valdemar) but about Thoma and Shuumatsuban and Kazuha's friend and Kazuha and all those sworn to Kamisato and to Yashiro. Possibly he is closer to the Shuumatsuban than he lets on, and also feels very very responsible to them; orphans that are raised in a ninja village to be extra loyal to the Kamisato Clan and Yashiro Commission? Whose names no one remembers (no one, perhaps, except Ayato). ooo. remembering their names. Regularly. (Check Thoma's hangout about the ninken but also the Momoyo flowers quest. Maybe this centers around getting that note? starts or ends with it?)

Cut for the kinkier stuff:

A Matter of Duty (working on this one!): Ayato isn't above using sex to get information or get closer to people, a la Kushiel's Dart.

And/or, Thoma will do anything for the Kamisato Clan, and his role as "fixer" is "fix the situation by any means necessary". Sometimes this is bribery, favors exchanged, gifts. Other times it's interrogation, assassination, threats. Still others are sexual (for information, as payment, or to get close enough for assassination/thievery/etc).

and/or, Thoma and Ayato are close and they do all the dirty work behind the scenes. Keep Ayaka from having to know about it, see it, or deal with it. They've paid a high price. Ayato uses Thoma as currency and for dirty work, with Thoma's consent. Thoma stepped up to this role when the Kamisato parents died and he caught Ayato using his own body as currency; he volunteered himself to try to save Ayato from it.

Thoma as a party favor/servant at a formal dinner event.

yes diplomat shenanigans and service / sacrifice is absolutely one of my narrative kinks, don’t judge me. I might have to write this story / set of stories. We’ll see if I can get my crap together enough to do so.

Ayato meets Alhaitham on a diplomatic errand to Sumeru. Sparks. They fall into bed to gain information about the other and for mutual attraction, and discover they've met their match at subterfuge and dissembling. It's a tantalizing challenge for them both, rarely meeting another of equivalent competence and intelligence. They flirt by playing sociopolitical chess (metaphorically speaking) against each other across the years. Eventually Feelings develop, oops. Slow burn. (Thoma/Kaveh too? Polyamorous quad? Thoma sent as surrogate at some point? Trading Thoma and Kaveh somehow?

Could also combine with the previous set of prompts, they’re not mutually exclusive.

Spin-off from Matter of Duty, but it's Thoma who's on the diplomatic errand first, and Ayato grows fascinated with Alhaitham through Thoma's accounts?

this story concept is getting out of control, why do I do this to myself

Babel/Lumine and how would Jeht respond to that, hurt no comfort in that case probably. Could eventually lead to Lumine/Jeht as Babel is absolutely just setting Lumine up for betrayal, which would be more in the hurt/comfort vein. Or maybe Babel is getting with Lumine because she knows Jeht has a thing for Lumine and she wants to break that tie to isolate Jeht further. Probably would have been a smarter approach than trying to get them to kill each other.

Babel/someone (Lumine, Jeht, Azariq, doesn’t really matter) with a whole worshipping-Domme-as-goddess dynamic. Because she absolutely sets herself up that way.

Babel/Jeht in a grooming-Jeht-for-awful-roles kind of way. Kind of squicky for me so I might not write it but it has a lot of potential to be interesting.

A dominant recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship with a submissive. …what’s awful is that Alhaitham/Kaveh would work for this. But probably people would hate it? I would disclaimer the hell out of it with “I actually love Alhaitham/Kaveh and it’s one of my favorite ships, but I really wanted/needed to write a story with this dynamic, and they were the best option.” Alternatively Alhaitham/Kaveh and Alhaitham had an ex who was abusive, but… I can’t see him being okay with the dynamic he has with Kaveh then. Other options?

Thoma has a yokai/shapeshifter/monster kink. That's it, that's the prompt, I don't know what to do with it yet, but we know he loves stories of yokai and shapeshifters canonically, this is just taking it to the next level.

EDIT: whoo boy I completely forgot Childe was a *literal child* when he fell into the Abyss, scratch that fic concept from the record unless it involves an aged-up Childe, yikes. (I haven’t dug into Childe much as a character and I don’t have him in my roster so I didn’t actually know the details of his story.)

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crying-over-gay-dramas · 1 year

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this post will include major spoilers for My School President and Moonlight chicken, and sort of spoilers for Bad Buddy (I make a comparison). I also did not proofread this and wrote it all in one go without sleeping for a very long time so be warned.

Hello and welcome to me trying to articulate how and why I love every single detail of the My school President finale without sounding insane. This is going to be long so buckle in.

We'll start strong with the obvious which is their first kiss. We waited eleven episodes for them to kiss. They had all these super romantic moments, teasing us with the possibility of a kiss only for it to never happen UNTIL episode 12, the finale, when it happens without any notice, shocking myself and probably everyone else. It was unlike GMMTV's style who usually save the first kiss scene for some dramatic rooftop or beach. All that build up just for a brief peck for their first kiss? Perfection. It was so perfect for their dynamic and for the theme of the show itself. Think of all the things this show carries. First love, high school, dreams, friendship, romance. It's always been more on the innocent side, definitely the other side of the coin that is Never Let Me Go, another GMMTV BL that aired at the same time, with the same aged characters but with an entirely different vibe. That vibe, however, is what made this show really work. Because although it overall came off as innocent, it used that appearance to talk about some deeper things. But, I'll get to that later. Back to the kiss. GMMTV were truly genius for doing it the way they did. A lot of us were even convinced that they weren't going to kiss at all, especially after the scene in MoonLight Chicken from an episode aired only a day before the finale of My School President. The actors for Tin and Gunn, Gemini and Fourth, play characters in that show as well and in this episode they had their very first kiss together however due to camera angles we don't actually see it. That led us to beileve maybe these two actors just wouldn't be kissing in any of their shows, or at least not yet. So we went in to the finale either thinking they wouldn't kiss at all, or expecting a dramatic first kiss and we got neither. It was truly genius. And, as I said before it perfectly fit the theme of the show. It was exactly the style we've come to expect and love from TinGunn. Really fucking cute, for lack of better words. It also suited them because no matter how much those two managed to flirt, they still both were often awkward and flustered around each other so their first kiss being brief and in such a sudden moment fit them really well. It really was just so perfect. We didn't even need anything more in my opinion, but we got it anyways when later in the episode they do kiss more. Overall, it was really something that stood out to me and I loved how it ended up playing out. Physical touch has always been such a big part of TinnGun's relationship and development, and this was really just the pinnacle.

The Prom MV. The PROM MV. A small scene, hardly important to the story right? WRONG. The Prom MV not only provided us with some much appreciated jealous Gun which we love and missed from around ep 6 or 7 I beileve when he tares Tinn away from some girls who were flirting with him (before they had even admitted their feelings to each other I might add) but it also was a very sly method from GMMTV to insert some social commentary, something they've loved doing ever since Not Me. Tiw, apologizes to Tinn and Gun, telling them he asked for the MV to have a "BL" couple but they refused. They go on to show that Tinn's Co-star in the MV has a girlfriend, watching her on the side lines much like Gun is watching Tinn. This implies that the school board had unknowingly put into action an MV starring a gay man and a lesbian (assumed, not confirmed) playing a couple. All of this speaks volumes towards heteronormativity and gender roles and how society, specifically Thailand society in this case, but also everywhere, sees queer people. They'd rather place together a man and a woman who have zero attraction to each other than a man and a man or a woman and a woman who do. Although the message itself was serious, GMMTV still kept it light for the theme of the show, having Gun be jealous of Tinn and the girl in the MV, even pinching Tiw and telling him to yell cut, a detail we all loved. That's one thing that I really admired as I briefly mentioned earlier. The way they were able to insert more serious themes into the show without moving too far from the overall innocent and light hearted vibe.

That being said, GMMTV did let it get serious sometimes, in a way that was very well done. Besides the finale, they had plotlines that cast a more darker tone to the series, such as Gun struggling with feelings of self worth, and failure and his mother getting sick. I won't touch on that much, as I'm trying to focus on the finale here. For the finale, they had a very important scene where Tinn and Gun overhear two of their teachers saying bad things about them, regarding their relationship. This is what we can assume to be both of their times first experiencing strong homophobia directly. For it to come from a teacher as well, one they had respected was incredibly difficult. They don't sugarcoat this part of the episode. They don't give the teacher a redemption arc. Throughout the scene, the teacher holds their views and is shown as what some people are, simply just assholes. This was so important to the series, and important to the show overall, for the message and for the characters. Through this scene we get to see several different characters and their own reactions to Tinn and Gun, theirs being positive. Tinn's junior in his club as well as his mother both stand up foe them against the teacher. It's an emotional scene (that might have made me cry) and really shows you two sides to a very real and much bigger picture. Some people will only be filled with hate, and it can come from anyone. Even someone we trust. But among the hate there will always be those who will stay by your side, and some might surprise you. It's important to stand up for yourself and for whoever you love, to be proud of yourself and not to listen to anyone who tells you to be anything other than what you are. It was a beautiful and very important message and lesson for TinnGun and for us viewers.

Okay, enough being serious for a sec. Now we are going to discuss some of the smaller cuter details I appreciated. Gun officially meeting Tinn's parents as his boyfriend and the dynamic between them matching the already developed characters types of the parents. Tinn's dad being open and friendly, excitingly sharing his shared interest in music with Gun. Gun calling him dad and being nervous but comfortable around him. Tinn's mom telling Gun to call her Aunt instead of mom and her husband teasing her for it. Her staying somewhat distant from the situation yet letting things progress naturally and standing by when she usually would have interfered. It showed great character growth on her part, beyond of course what already occurred with her choosing her son over her career (We'll talk more about that later)

Let's talk about Prom. One thing I liked a lot is how Gun pulled Tinn on stage. It wasn't just romantic and very cute, but it was significant to Tinn and his development. If we look back to episode, 4 or 5 I think? Tinn tells Gun that his worst memory is when as a kid he was meant to sing on stage but forgot the lyrics. He'd been too afraid to sing since. He does sing, however in a previous episode with Gun on stage to support him when he was tired. That already showed how his love for Gun could overpower any previous fear he'd had and make himself stronger and more brave. This scene continues that theme and is important also for the fact that Tinn's mom was there to witness it. In a previous episode when she asks Gun about Tinn she found out that Tinn had sung with Gun and she is surprised. Showing again that Tinn didn't tell her things, or share things with her, much like he never shared with her his crush on Gun. But with this scene, she is there to see it herself. Tinn on stage, quietly singing along with his boyfriend. She's seeing the side to him she never was able to see, one she is finally able to see because she stopped being scared and opener herself up to getting to know her son beyond what she wanted from him.

And here comes, what I mentioned earlier. This very same scene, there is once again some discourse among the teachers about Tinn and Gun's relationship. As was shown and said earlier, she'd been put in a tough position as soon as the pictures of the two had spread, getting calls and complaints from others about the "image" it was giving the school she worked so hard to run. It's made clear from episode one how important it is to her to run the school and maintain what she worked so hard to get. However, in this episode she chooses her son. Not only does she choose her son, but she chooses her morals. We don't see the woman who denied our favorite high school band to perform again and again, but instead we see the woman who wants to run a school where her son, and anyone, can love who they want. I really enjoyed seeing that character development from her, although to me it seems it was always there. It wasn't entirely her that changed, but our perception of her and Tinn's perception of her and I think that was a really smart move on the part of the writers.

One smaller detail I want to mention is the scene where the Chinzilla members are all waiting together to find out their college/future plan results. The scene was much like one from a previous episode, when they waited to find out the winner of the contestant they had tried so hard to be. In the previous scene they are all met with disappointment. It's a very important moment for all of them and continues to follow the theme of youth and dreams. In that case, their dream didn't come true. In life, that is often the case. We don't always get what we want no matter how hard we try. That taught a tough lesson. However, in this later scene they follow that up with a positive tone. Gun finds that he was accepted and the group hugs and celebrates. It's a direct contrast to their previous disappointment and it really gave such a nice, although possibly corny message that you should never give up on your dreams and even if something doesn't work out, there's ways something else that will.

This next one I usually never ever talk about because I don't like it, so the fact that I'm not only okay with bringing it up, but okay that it even happened speaks wonders about how highly I thought of this finale. TinnGun versus GunTinn. I hate this. Like really really hate whenever this is brought up in a BL. It's stupid and it always opens up room for what we all know is a very real issue in the consumption of mlm media. Fetishization. You aren't truly a BL fan until you've been made very uncomfortable by someone discussing which of your favorite characters… yeah. So whenever this is brought up in a BL, even in a joking manner, I hate it. But I just couldn't hate it this time. Because once again, they did it so well. As usual, it was brought up by other people. Their classmates' curiosity and rather selfish need to pry into their business (in my opinion) brought up the subject. But it didn't result in anything weird, for lack of a better word. In fact it was sweet and even funny. It perfectly fit Tinn and Gun, and did show a little bit more of maturity on their part since the show has maintained a rather innocent feel around their relationship. Gun doesn't even know what the order means and Tinn has to tell him. He whispers it to him right there in the hallway and it's the cutest fucking thing. And instead of awkwardness or toxic arguments (I'm looking at you, My Engineer) it turned into teasing and gave the entire argument I've grown so tired of from BL, a light hearted tone. For once, I didn't feel uncomfortable or like they were making it some weird reference to the sick interest of fans (too harsh? Maybe. But idc) but it really felt like it was about TinnGun and their dynamic and it was just really fucking cute, there's no other way to describe it. What is also good about it, is often when BL do have that argument they will reveal which way it is one way or another, and it's just such a weird thing that they feel the need to do that. If it's a scene where they are like actually showing it, fine whatever I guess. but when they talk about it after the fact and make a point of making it clear what happened is so weird to me. Even Bad Buddy did that. I hated that scene in Bad Buddy. It took away some of my enjoyment from the show. My point is, MSP didn't do that and I appreciated that. Because it really doesn't matter, so shut the fuck up and srop being weird and trying to force gender roles on gay relationships.

Those were my main points but there are so many more details I could discuss. A lot of the focus being on Gun and his friends rather than the whole episode being about TinnGun and how important that is to Gun's character and to the show. How their support for Gun when the photos appeared online was a huge deal.

All the small references to previous events such as Tinn's dad buying a new guitar after Tinn gave Gun hid and Gun almost revealing it to him on accident. It gave such small and not entirely necessary, but very cute and funny background on previous events, tying it all together. These details also really helped the series to feel more full and real. A living and breathing story, rather than words on a script.

The entire series and especially that finale was just so well done and I can't believe such amazing work came from a silly little romance about a singer and his school president boyfriend. Except I can, because that silly little vibe is exactly how it was able to create something like this. I'm so grateful for this series and I'm so so so so sad to see it end but the end truly was perfect.

If you have read all of this… you are as obsessed as me, huh?

#my school president #tinngun #Gmmtv #thai bl #bl drama

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byoldervine · 11 months

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Enemies To Lovers - My Insight And Preferences With The Trope

So I’ve been working more on the Byoldervine series and there’s an enemies-to-lovers-esque romance in this. As an aroace I’ve been doing a lot of research to ensure I’m getting all the romance stuff right, and this has lead me to study up a bit on this trope. I know this one is shaky ground, you have to make them hate each other enough to warrant them being enemies, but if they do anything too bad then the ship comes off as toxic, so it’s inherently a tough line to walk

I’ve just been watching a video on YouTube dissecting the trope and it’s sub-tropes and getting to the bottom of why it’s all so appealing or unappealing to people, and this raised an interesting point; the biggest divider between loving and hating the trope seems to be how much you can separate fantasy from reality, and what the reader is willing to excuse with ‘it’s not real, it doesn’t have to adhere to realistic dating standards’ in order to keep their disbelief suspended. And it’s got me thinking about where I fall into this

Personally, my experiences with enemies-to-lovers majorly stems from my werewolf obsession as a young teen. I read all the shitty Wattpad stories that all had a tendency to follow the same two patterns; either our female protagonist is horrifically abused her whole life only to escape and learn her mate is the alpha/alpha’s son of another pack, or our female protagonist was bullied her whole life and the alpha/alpha’s son instantly rejects her after discovering they’re mates, only to regret it as they spend more time together. The trope, of course, usually occurs in the latter

I remember this one story like that that really drew me out of the scene because the guy was really toxic, and the story actually acknowledged it; the same day the guy had instantly rejected the girl, on sight and in public around all their peers, he spotted her at the bar and repeatedly stole all her alcoholic drinks (she was old enough to drink) until she eventually gave up and ordered something non-alcoholic like he wanted her to. Only then did he allow her to have the drink she ordered. Guess who paid for all those drinks she didn’t get? The girl. And she snaps at him, telling him that he can’t have it both ways, that he can’t just reject her from his life and then insert himself into it regardless

His response? Something along the lines of ‘I can do what I want’

Aaaaand then we have him forcing her into his car - he doesn’t have any malicious intent, he just drives her home because it’s late, but a lack of intention to do anything worse doesn’t excuse the fact that she was minding her own business and now he’s dictating what she can and can’t drink, how long she’s allowed to stay out for, who she goes home with (she was with her friends celebrating her birthday but I guess fuck them and her plans right?), when and how she leaves, where she goes afterwards, etc. Not to mention this guy just downed like six beers trying to stop the girl from drinking, yet now he’s driving?

This is where I personally draw the line with suspension of realism; if I’m legitimately concerned about one character’s safety when they’re with their enemy, to the point where it’s setting off alarm bells in my brain consistently enough to break my immersion, you better hope there’s a shockingly good redemption coming up which somehow does manage to satisfactorily amend this issue. And there pretty much never is because that’s unrealistic to expect

And I get it, they’re enemies; being assholes and wanting to kill each other is what it’s all about and it wouldn’t be ‘enemies’ if they weren’t crossing lines. But the thing is, in my brain there’s a difference between reckless/toxic behaviours and dangerous/abusive behaviours, and I feel like the level of control exerted in my previous example, as well as forcing her away from her own birthday party into your car so you can drive her off while you’ve just taken spontaneous consecutive shots of whole ass pints, is crossing a line you don’t want to cross if you’re gonna be in a romance by the end of the book

Or if you are going to cross that line, at least let the girl do the same; if both characters are as fucked up as each other, it’s more of a ‘pick on someone your own size’ kind of deal rather than feeling tlike an abuser/victim romance. If it’s just one character repeatedly doing nasty, spiteful shit to a character who just wants to avoid them, eventually loses their patience and snaps at the perpetrator which causes them to finally see the error of their ways, it doesn’t feel like they’re enemies, it feels like one person targeting a chosen victim because they don’t fight back. You need them playing on the same field, because if they’re on the same wavelength it no longer feels like an abuser/victim pairing - you can’t define one as worse than the other. It’s enemy and enemy, with both fighting for the upper hand over the other. It’s not a constant pursuit to hurt someone who just wants to run and hide and has done nothing to warrant that behaviour. At the end of the day, some level of equal participation is key here

But then you also have the opposite end of the spectrum, in which it’s not really enemies at all because they do nothing that bad to each other to warrant enemy status. It’s just… a general dislike handled in the mature way of ‘we don’t really talk, maybe we glare at each other but that’s about it’. It’s natural that you won’t get along with everyone, and sometimes the both of you just can’t click to the point of not being able to stand each other’s company. But avoidance doesn’t make you enemies. Being civil about it doesn’t make you enemies. You might as well be strangers that got off on the wrong foot

I think at the heart of any good salvageable enemy relationship are two things; misunderstandings through differing contexts, and pettiness. The pettiness is obvious; if they’re both handling being enemies maturely and civilly, they’re not really enemies, except on specific occasions where the enemy ship is based more on principle than personal matters (opposing factions being the most obvious means of external conflict driving them to become enemies without their own actions mattering). The way to being enemies has to involve enough pettiness on both sides to continue this rivalry to the point of crossing the line from ‘I can be civil with this guy even if I can’t stand them’ to ‘if you put me in a room with this guy I’m not responsible if they end up with a knife to their throat’. Not to mention that establishing a little pettiness early on can pave the way for a quality they may find endearing in their partner as they start to fall for them, since pettiness can easily be used for banter and other smaller, inconsequential things that may be funny or cute

And as for misunderstandings through differing context, you get an opportunity here to delve into the mindsets of your characters, to explain what brought them to not see eye to eye. Say Character A wanted to do X thing because it would bring them closer to a lost relative who used to be a pro at it, meanwhile Character B has done X thing before and gained some trauma from it. The characters have differing perspectives on the same thing, one being optimistic and eager-eyed while the other is skeptical and disillusioned, but also afraid. Character B might strongly discourage Character A from trying it out, to which Character A may get defensive because how dare this stranger try and stop them from something so important and meaningful to them? And now the defensive reaction is causing Character B to also react defensively out of their trauma, because why is this stranger being so hostile and acting like their experiences don’t matter when all they tried to do was help them? And then the two are forced to interact more and the topic of X keeps coming up, maybe Character A is being all childish and petty about it and getting reckless showing off how they can totally do X, only for Character B to start taking more drastic measures to make them stop, like taking their equipment, and now Character A is furious because that was the equipment their lost relative used, so now this is personal. And of course Character A will lash out emotionally, which prompts revenge from Character B, and-

You see how much more natural that is, without either character being designated as the one at fault? By acting off of the context they have, which presents them with opposing views, we can have good intentions be perceived as challenges or slights and taken more personally than intended, without the other ever understanding why this person has reacted so badly and taking it to mean this is just a person looking for a fight. And when things escalate, grudges can turn to hatred, which can turn to enemies

Not to mention this also gives us trauma responses to overcome and established character flaws to work on. And as the characters work on these flaws and trauma responses that caused the hatred in the first place, there’s suddenly going to be less conflict, so the lovers part can begin slotting in more naturally as the characters evolve from their worst to their best selves

And that leads me to my final note; time. These things take time, and they go in stages. Enemies-to-lovers is a slowburn trope, which requires attention to all the little details and awkward stages in-between. You don’t go from hating each other to loving each other, you go from ‘hating each other’ to ‘begrudgingly tolerating each others�� presence’ to ‘not being phased by their presence’ to ‘being relaxed in their company’ to ‘being able to be civil and polite without insincerity’ to ‘actually being able to get along without it feeling forced or awkward’ to ‘casual maybe-friends’ to ‘definitely friends’ to ‘fuck maybe more than friends?’ to ‘no no way am I crushing on THEM of all people’ to ‘oh fuck I’m crushing on THEM of all people?!’ to ‘fuck it yep this one’s mine’ - bonus points if there are setbacks and regressions and an ungodly amount of denial along the way

Point is, this trope is messy, this trope is confusing and this trope is very very specific; you need to show every moment of change as you go. People are here to enjoy the clusterfuck of emotions that the characters go through as they start to fall for their enemy. It’s a huge switch for them, why are we not delving into it? Quit going from ‘they hate each other and one actively antagonises the other’ to ‘but by the end of the night they made out because they’re just so unexplainably attracted to one another’

I’ll tell you about another story I once read that scared the shit out of me with how the enemies-to-lovers trope was just abuser/victim; the girl had been bullied and harrassed by this boy at her school, including destruction of property, physical violence, setting her things on fire, humiliating her in front of the school, etc. She also lived right next door to him, and from as early as day one he was an absolute asshole to her. The reason? He saw her struggling to lift a heavy box out of a moving van and thought she looked weak. So he said it. And when she didn’t respond favourably to that, he decided that was enough of a reason to warrant constant bullying for years

When the boy leaves over the summer break, she’s able to have her blinds open at home because now he won’t be staring into her bedroom window. Unfortunately he comes home a day earlier than she anticipated and he takes pictures of her changing to use as blackmail against her. For the majority of the book she’s blamed by herself, him and a couple other characters for leaving her blinds open. He uses his blackmail to have her do horrible things, he sets up hate accounts for her on social media and encourages people at school to start sending horrible shit like death threats to her actual accounts and to these fake accounts to the point where she just deletes social media altogether, he even tries to murder her at one point. Most of this stuff he never so much as apologises for, and the stuff he does apologise for, he still blames her for ‘causing’ it

We eventually, at the end of the story, find out that he’s got some kind of mental illness that causes these behaviours, and the girl is torn between ‘I’m the only one who can fix him I have to stay’ and ‘his many doctors are telling me it’s not safe to be around him’. His mother encourages her to stay to be ‘the one constant good thing in his life’ and the guy is begging and then demanding that she stay, but thank god she manages to eventually break things off with him despite loving him for some reason. I deadass can’t remember a single redeeming quality this guy had. He even tried to hurt her again as she left him, all the while claiming he’d never hurt her and that he’d changed and was different now. And by the end she was still wondering if she’d made the right choice or not, with the guy’s mum saying she hadn’t. Like… what?!

That’s not enemies to lovers. That’s abuser/victim the whole way through, just with a surprise reveal that ‘mental illness made him bad so he’s not really abusive, even though he never so much as apologised’. Mental illness is not an excuse. Mental illness should not be the end all, be all of an enemies-to-lovers story. Besides, it’s not like he didn’t have the capacity to apologise, but he didn’t do it regardless! Not even going through the motions without following through! Just ‘nah it’s your fault for existing wrong in my presence’

You can’t expect me to take it seriously if the only redeeming factor for attempted murder is ‘mental illness made him do it’. You can’t expect me to still find this ship even remotely an option. Redemption after attempted murder is a challenge enough as it is, especially since for a lot of people that can easily be considered a point of no return. But the guy doesn’t even pretend to be sorry! And later on in the same day she’s hugging and comforting him over the realisation that he has a mental illness since she feels she misjudged him! And suddenly they’re not enemies, they’ve jumped right to lovers! That’s the most frustrating part; THAT was the catalyst for the switch in mindsets, and it was INSTANT! INSTANT!!

Where’s the legitimate angst?! The payoff?! The satisfaction?! If they go from literal attempted murder to ‘my poor baby it’s okay I’ll always love you’ in the same day, what the hell was the point?! You’ve written two different relationships here, not an evolution over time with work put in by both parties! This isn’t even love! This is a horror story!

Anyway, TL;DR on what I’ve learned so far about the enemies-to-lovers trope and my personal takes on it; you need to hit the sweet spot between ‘will commit irredeemable dealbreaker atrocities’ and ‘I don’t have anything nice to say so I’ll say nothing at all’; you need reciprocation so the enemy factor doesn’t feel one-sided and thus more abuser/victim; you need a little bit of pettiness to ensure the rivalry survives long enough to die in the desired way; differing context on the same situation can be a great way of birthing conflict and enemy-hood without making one individual out to be the aggressor over the other and allowing both sides to act on character flaws that they overcome as the rivalry fades; the story needs to be a slowburn with each stage of the relationship’s evolution experienced in full; and the redemption efforts must be appropriate and satisfactory so the characters aren’t rewarded for problematic behaviour and get the opportunity to grow for and with one another

#writing #bookblr #writers #writeblr #my writing #not Byoldervine series #trope #enemies to lovers #enemies to lovers trope #trope talk #trope dissection #romance #aroace

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imtryingmybeskar · 1 year

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Hello! For the end of year writing ask, please can we have G, L and N?

💛💛

Hi lovely! Thank you so much for asking!

G - Where do you think you grew the most ths year?

I am terrible for writing in fits and starts. I just can't keep to a schedule. But with Starman I did. Every week except for one when I had exams. So I proved to myself I can do it haha

Also I think my general understanding of the fundamentals of fanfic has got better. I've joined and am active in a few subreddits now and people there who have been writing fanfic for decades have helped me understand certain things.

For example; I generally write reader insert because I'm a horny bastard who loves to play with the Pedro characters. But someone pointed out to me that I write reader insert in the past tense which doesn't make a lot of sense since it's supposed to be immersive. That's why I re-did the first few chapters of Come Home. It's something so basic, but I hadn't realised I was doing it. And now I'm deep in Chapters 5/6 of Come Home I'm realising I should have done this as a third person OFC. There's A LOT more angst and hurt and trauma in there than I had initially planned on and the smut is a decent way away so I think going forward I'll keep the reader inserts for one shots and do more writing for OCs.

Always learning!

L - Which character did you write most about this year and why do you like them?

I took a LONG break from writing after Starman. It was so well received and I got so attached to the world that I needed a little distance from writing in general. I also started a new job which left me less time to write too.

So the two characters I've written most for this year are probably Ezra and Joel.

I love writing Ezra for his dialogue. His speech is so rich and I love finding the right words for it to flow properly. Eugene from The Walking Dead is my guide when I get stuck. I can always hear his voice and its a good basis for Ezra's I've found.

Joel....I've been in love with Joel for a long time. I watched playthroughs of TLOU before I ever played it and that VOICE holy crap! I love Joel for his duality. Joel gushing incoming!

When we first meet him he's a youngish father of a teenage girl. That life gets unceremoniously ripped away and we then see him two decades later as a rugged, damaged and brooding man. Except...he still has that capability for affection and we see it in glimpses with Tess when he cleans her wounds and when he refers to himself jokingly as "the romantic type" and she replies more seriously that "you have your ways".

Surviving has pummelled him and punished him but he's still standing, and the main way he's managed that is through bloody mindedness and literal brute force. But once he trusts someone, he shows he can open up.

With Ellie it's more difficult because of the obvious parallels with Sarah. But once she breaks through and he realises that he loves her too, nothing can stop him from protecting her and wanting to be close to her. Which leads to his downfall and the tragedy of TLOU2. I won't go into that except to say that I REALLY hope they do another series or 2 dealing with TLOU2. The scenes with Joel and Ellie at the museum for her birthday are some of my favourites in anything ever. I love seeing them as father/daughter. I love how fiercely they love each other and how giving and generous he is and how he's determined to give her some semblance of a childhood that she never got to experience. I love the way he looks at her, like her smile is the reason he gets up in the morning.

I think the lesson here is don't set me off talking about Joel Miller lol

N - Anything you were planning to write that never got written?

So much. I have notebooks full of ideas. I half wrote a Din and Grogu oneshot that had a kind of GoT/Robin Hobb Assassin books feel and I started to write a Fairy Tale Triple Frontier AU and then realised I actually want to smush them together and write it as an original story not as fanfic. So that's on the back-burner for now.

#ask game #lovely people asking stuff #thank you #pedro pascal character fanfiction #ezra prospect #din djarin #joel miller #triple frontier au #long post

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areseebee · 2 years

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61 & 62 for Smoke Break

(in reference to the fan fiction writing ask game i posted earlier)

61. In [insert fic], what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

my favorite smoke break scene to write was probably the drunken kiss outside of michelle's flat in chapter 2. ooo and then i also loved writing erin watching james's t-shirted back in the dark afterwards when she's trying to sleep. just that whole night in general i loved writing, including the ensemble conversation when they first get to michelle's.

i'm pretty sure the drunken kiss was the first scene i wrote, actually. the actual writing of smoke break (not just the idea) came from me imagining a muggy, warm night where they manage to get each other alone after a couple of weeks of flirting and spending time together. one of the best kinds of night where it feels like maybe just about anything can happen. the rest of the fic was built around this scene, and i just had a really great time with it. it felt like magic happening inside of my brain.

62. In [insert fic], is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included? Why did it get cut?

there's a sort of deleted scene of mary questioning erin hanging out with james so much, but i ended up cutting it because it didn't really lead anywhere. it was sort of funny, but it wasn't doing what i needed it to do at the point i was writing it, and it didn't make sense at other points in the story. i'll put it below under a cut for those interested!

beyond that, no real deleted scenes but let me tell you, i wrote SO many end conversations for james and erin. i think there are like six or seven versions, and all of them more angsty than what i ended up choosing to do. in the end, i made the choices i did because i was hoping to leave them in a place they could build back from.

mary and erin deleted scene from smoke break:

It was morning and Erin was mid-bite on a piece of toast when her ma leveled her with a narrow-eyed look and asked, “Were you going out with boys this much while you should have been studying or, you know, working?”

“Boys? It’s just James, Mammy,” Erin spluttered at the insinuation. “And we’re just going to see a film.”

James had called her first thing that morning to ask if she wanted to catch an early matinee of Notting Hill before her evening shift and she hadn’t even thought twice before agreeing. He’d been back a week and they’d spent at least some part of every day together. If he wasn’t sliding onto the same barstool at Boar’s Head day after day in the late afternoon, he was stopping in for breakfast – her ma was always happy to see him then, Erin had no idea where this talk of “boys” was coming from all of a sudden – or he was tagging along for errands, or they were renting a film or going out with Michelle.

“Aye, I’m sure that’s all it is,” her ma said back, giving her a suspicious look. “You’re not to be inviting him up into your room, you hear me?”

“Did I even ask? I just said we’re going to watch a film,” Erin huffed before repeating, “It’s just James.” Almost on cue, the doorbell rang and Erin said quickly, “I’ll get it!” just to be able to leave the embarrassment of the conversation her ma was attempting to have. She didn’t get the point of this sudden scrutiny at all.

“Hi,” James said, smile on his face and hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket, when she opened the door. She waved him in with the piece of toast still in her hands and followed him back into the kitchen.

“Hi Mrs. Quinn,” James said brightly as he walked in, and Erin could not have rolled her eyes harder at how quickly her ma’s face turned soft and sunny.

“Hello, love. How are you? Have you had any breakfast yet? Or maybe you’ll be wanting some lunch? It’s still breakfast for this one, with how late she wakes up.”

Erin slumped sullenly against the kitchen counter and finished her toast in silent response.

“No, thank you. Already ate,” James said politely.

“Cup of tea then?” her ma persisted.

“Thank you, Mrs. Quinn, but no,” he said, giving her ma a smile. Erin mouthed suck up at him behind her ma’s back. “We should probably be leaving if we’re going to make the 11:30 showing. Are you ready, Erin?”

“Aye. I’ll be back before work, Mammy,” Erin said, grabbing her jacket from where it hung on the back of and slipping it on.

“Enjoy yourselves. Make good…choices,” her ma called after them as they walked back to the front door, and Erin shot her an exasperated look. Jesus, the sooner they could just get out of this house…

When Erin finally closed the door behind them and began walking in the direction of the cinema, she let out a deep sigh, “I cannot wait to have my own flat.”

“What was that about, in there? Are you making bad choices?” he asked laughingly.

“Ignore her. She’s being daft,” Erin said, rolling her eyes.

#ask game #smoke break

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lifeofkaze · 2 years

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1, 2, 3, and 9 (9 for the Rockstar AU!) 💛💛💛💛

Coming right up 💛💛💛💛

What is something you wish you could change about your most recent fic/chapter?

The latest fic/short/chapter I published was Trust, the fourth part of my mini-series In the Balance. And after planning it for a long time, over two weeks' time of writing (a chapter of that length usually takes me two days) and another full week of editing to the point that I wanted to die I gotta say... I don't think I would change anything about it.

2. Share a snippet of an old wip that you never posted.

I think I have shared this before but anyway. The Fantasy/Warcraft AU isn't really an active WIP atm but I fully intend on writing this. It's on my mind way too much.

Samantha belongs to @samshogwarts 💛

“No need to ride, she said. Let me just port us there, she said.” Lizzie’s eyes shot daggers at Samantha through the dim light of the tent. “Why did I even listen to you?” “Look, I said I’m sorry!” Samantha said for what felt like the hundredth time. “It’s not my fault they moved camp earlier than what we expected. And besides, the only reason you didn’t want to port was because it makes you sick,” she added with a hint of annoyance. “I saved us at least a day’s worth of travel.” “Maybe, but approaching like a normal person wouldn’t have made us appear right in the middle of their bloody war council!”

3. One of your fics that you wish more people read? (this is a free space for bragging and fic recs)

I always thought it was a shame that one of my favourite Charlie shorts I've ever written (A Summer Night's Dream). It's not shippy, it's not a reader-insert, and that's what people like but still... I think the mood in it is really special, at least to me, and it's really different to my other stuff so yeah. Kinda makes me sad that it's somewhat flying under the radar, compared to the rest.

9. Share an off-screen headcanon/scene for a fic of the asker's choosing

In C22: The Light I Shine On You, Lizzie just mentions that Charlie found out about her and Orion's secret "relationship" by her not having so much time for him. He actually caught on because Lizzie and he used to work out together on a daily basis. Lizzie studied sports and sports management and actually has a personal trainer license from back then (it's inactive because she didn't bother renewing but that's beside the point), so she wrote the routines for him. She kinda ditched him for yoga and other sessions with Orion, and that's how Charlie could tell something was up.

#ask game

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bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

Text

The Hell he’s been through;

The Knights have no clue of the suffering Merlin has endured… until one day, they do.

TW: Scars, panic attacks, nightmares, PTSD except they don’t have a word for that, non-graphic description of scars/injuries

Part 2(final part)

It was the height of summer, the bright blue sky was utterly free of clouds and the noon sun beat viciously down onto the training field.

Only the central six knights, their King, and Merlin braved the exhausting heat, the other knights had chosen to train later in the day, when it was cooler, so the field was empty of anyone else. Merlin was sat cross-legged in the shade of a tree, jacket and neckerchief removed (not that Arth- anyone noticed. Definitely not.), though his sleeves were still pulled low over his wrists and his tunic was fastened high up his neck. Despite that, the lack of an extra layer definitely displayed Merlin’s surprisingly broad shoulders more than normal (another thing that Ar-no one noticed).

The knights were shirtless, despite Merlin’s warning of sunburn, sparring semi-playfully with wooden dummy swords, the type squires train with, and no armour.

Merlin rubs absent-mindedly at the dull, almost gone ache in his ribs, just below his armpit, as he rolls his shoulder. The injury, if it could even be called that, had never been serious and hadn’t even hurt that much when he’d gotten it on the last patrol (a stray mace swing from a bandit just clipped him), at least, not compared to other injuries he’s sustained over the years, but it was an annoyance that made his shoulder stiff on occasion.

Unfortunately, the movement caught Arthur’s eye, and the King frowns, stopping his observation of Elyan and Mordred’s spar to lay a crudely hidden concerned gaze upon his manservant.

He’d fussed endlessly when he found that Merlin had bandaged his own torso after the fight, demanding that he let someone help next time; Merlin just rolled his eyes at that. The other knights had wisely chosen not to comment, knowing that the attack, and Merlin’s subsequent injury, had already put Arthur in a bad enough mood; though admittedly, the only thing stopping Gwaine from ruthlessly taking the piss out of Arthur’s mother-hen tendencies all the way home was Percival harshly clamping a hand over his mouth and pushing him away.

Merlin looks up to see Arthur staring at him, and the King quickly covers his concern with a look of annoyance when the manservant raises an eyebrow:

“If you’re not going to do anything useful Merlin, get up here, you clearly can’t be trusted to even cower effectively, so you’re going to have to learn to defend yourself.”

Merlin’s eyebrow just rises higher as the rest of the knights’ attention is drawn to the conversation. Lancelot and Mordred hide knowing smiles, well aware than Merlin was more than capable of defending himself, if he really needed to. Gwaine went to open his mouth with teasing grin, though quickly pouts when Percival punches him on the shoulder, and Leon and Elyan smirk at each other before moving their amused gazes to Arthur.

When Merlin doesn’t move, just stares at him disbelievingly, Arthur rolls his eyes and gestures at the half-empty rack of wooden swords:

“Come on, Merlin, up on your feet, grab a sword.”

Merlin just snorts in amusement and shakes his head, settling back against the tree trunk even more:

“Absolutely not. I can handle myself just fine, thank you very much.”

The knights (bar Lancelot and Mordred of course) raise their own eyebrows. Gwaine snorts out loud, stepping up next to Arthur and dropping an overly-friendly hand on his shoulder, much to The King’s displeasure:

“I know you can hold your own in a tavern brawl Merls, but that’s not the same thing as facing bandits and assassins and shit. Princess is right, it might be worth it for you to at least know how to use a sword.”

Arthur turns an accusing gaze on Gwaine, shrugging his hand off as he says:

“And I presume all the tavern brawls Merlin has apparently been getting into are your fault?”

Gwaine grimaces slightly before shrugging with a smirk, and Merlin hides his laughter with a cough before inserting:

“Entirely his fault. Gwaine starts the fights, promptly passes out, and I have to finish them.”

Arthur laughs incredulously; Mordred has to hide the angry clench of his jaw and Lancelot has to hide his sorrow when Arthur replies in a taunting tone:

“I’m meant to believe that you are regularly winning Gwaine’s unfinished fights, am I?”

Merlin shrugs in mock defeat, a grin on his face:

“Believe what you want, Sire, I’ve faced worse than you lot and come out singing, I don’t need training.”

Arthur resists the urge to smirk at the appealing way Merlin manages to make his title sound insulting, and he instead raises his eyebrows:

“You’re not getting out of this, Merlin. I can’t have you bruising yourself every time we leave the city.”

Merlin takes in a deep breath, settling a disconcertingly assessing gaze on The King for a few moments before he sighs and stands up, walking towards the equipment and picking up a sword before turning back to Arthur:

“I suppose you’re right, I doubt any of the other servants would be willing to put up with you if I got too injured. Who would you like me to spar, My Lord?”

Arthur scoffs and shakes his head as the others step back, looking upon the whole scene with fond amusement, bar, once again, Lancelot and Mordred, who are looking an odd mix between concerned and proud. They know that Merlin is capable of more than he lets on, even with a wooden blade.

“You can’t spar with any of us, Merlin, that would be far too dangerous. We’ll start with some basic moves, and then maybe we can move on to a slow, choreographed spar.”

Merlin twirls the sword expertly in his hand, and he’s vaguely away of Gwaine nodding approvingly and Leon raising an eyebrow out the corner of his eye, though he pays them no mind, raising an eyebrow of his own at Arthur:

“Surely starting with a simple spar will tell you my exact skill levels so you can tailor the lessons? You need to know how crap I am before we start.”

Lancelot hides a snort behind a hand, knowing full well that Merlin is just trying to goad Arthur into letting the servant show off his skills without too much effort beforehand. Or without giving Arthur the satisfaction of thinking that he was the one who taught Merlin how to fight. Thankfully, Arthur takes Lance’s snort as a teasing one aimed at Merlin, as opposed to what it really is, so waves him into the ring with a smirk.

Merlin just rolls his eyes, moving to stand opposite his best friend and muttering, just loud enough for everyone to hear:

“Fine, but I’m not taking my shirt off, I’m not as arrogant as you lot.”

Lancelot widens his eyes as Arthur freezes, dread growing in his stomach at the knowledge that The King would take that as a challenge. Arthur turns slowly, a shit-eating grin on his face, and Lancelot grimaces as Arthur claps his hands together:

“Right! I wasn’t going to mention it, but you do have a point, Merlin, if you are to train, you must train as one of us. Come on, tunic off.”

Elyan, Percival, and Gwaine just laugh, but Leon rolls his eyes exasperatedly, and Mordred and Lancelot frown in concern. Neither of them have seen Merlin’s scars in their entirety before, but knowing about the servant’s secret second life had definitely made them more observant than the others, and they had seen hints of old injuries here and there. That’s not even mentioning the times he’s shown up in their chambers, bloody and bruised and in need of treatment, but not wanting to worry Gaius.

Merlin just flushed and stared at him indignantly and Arthur’s teasing grin grew:

“Don’t be shy, Merlin, I’m sure whatever horrific mole or ugly birth mark you’re ashamed of isn’t that bad.”

Merlin rolls his eyes, stepping away from Arthur when he moves towards him. The demand to de-robe, even partially, had immediately put him on edge, and he had gone from playfully annoyed to genuinely irate in a split second. He crosses his arms over his chest protectively when Arthur gestures at him demandingly:

“I don’t have a weird mole, Arthur, you Clotpole, but unlike you lot, I’m not all that keen to show off my old scars.”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Merlin was hoping that mentioning his scars in passing would appeal to the knights’ warrior sides, would make them sympathetic to his… shy-ness. It did not. It just made them laugh, even Leon, and they all began to point out various scars they had on their chests and back, remarking that he couldn’t have worse than them.

Gwaine twisted to the side, patting a pink, jagged circle halfway down his back, a grin on his face:

“This beauty is from when I propositioned a lovely fella who was, apparently, already taken. Man’s wife smashed her bottle on the counter and damn near took my eye out with it.”

Elyan cackles at Gwaine’s story, pointing to a perfectly square burn on his shoulder-blade:

“Yeah, well at least you didn’t fall back into a red hot brand at the ripe old age of fifteen because a girl smiled at you.”

Merlin’s back-up plan, which was sneakily sulking off whilst the knights compared their most embarrassing scars, was cut short basically immediately when he heard Arthur yell out:

“Absolutely not, Merlin, I’ve already told you that you’re not getting out of this. Tunic off, spar Lancelot.”

Merlin huffs, annoyed, feeling rather like he was backed into a corner, and Mordred walks forward, to be between him and The King, quietly saying:

“You don’t have to Merlin, just fight with it on.”

Arthur narrows his eyes in suspicion, but before he can say anything, Merlin squares his shoulders and looks at him defiantly, dropping his sword to the floor as he begins unlacing his tunic, his words coming out harshly, his tone dark:

“No, no it’s fine. The King wants to see my scars, and we all know that The King gets whatever he wants.”

The smiles melt rather quickly off the knights’ faces as Merlin speaks, and Arthur flinches slightly at his tone, starting to realise with just a little guilt that maybe this wasn’t funny anymore. He opens his mouth to take it back, to tell Merlin that he was only teasing and he could keep the tunic on if he really wanted to, but before any words come out, Merlin is gripping the collar of his shirt, pulling it over his head swiftly and screwing it up before tossing it to the side, not once breaking his stare on the now pale King.

Arthur lets out a sharp breath at the patchwork of scars that cover Merlin’s chest, and he’s vaguely aware of the various low cries and gasps of outrage coming from the knights behind him. There are so many, some are large and some are small, some look to be from clumsiness, but others look like they should have been fatal. Arthur’s eyes can’t focus on just one, he’s barely taking in each scar before his gaze is drawn to another, and then another, and then another; it’s a little overwhelming, and it’s only when he starts to feel a little woozy that he remembers to breath.

When he finally comes to the conclusion that his brain isn’t going to able to process this for a while, he looks up to Merlin’s face, instead taking in his resolute expression and hard eyes:

“Merlin, what… what happened to you?”

Merlin raises a slow, mocking eyebrow before breaking his statue-like stillness and picking his sword up again, turning to face a distraught looking Lancelot. This movement only reveals the second mosaic of scars covering his back, but he speaks over the next round of gasps and muffled curses, his tone still unbearably dark as he gestures Lance to get into position:

“I told you, I’ve faced worse than you lot and come out singing.”

The knights are so distracted by the myriad of scars covering Merlin’s torso that it takes the servant’s first harsh, well-aimed blow with his sword to break them out of their stupor. They watch the ensuing spar with morbid fascination, finding that not only can Merlin hold his own, he’s winning. Lancelot loses his breath and rhythm much quicker than Merlin does, and the fast-paced spar only lasts around three minutes before Merlin lands a strong punch to the centre of Lance’s chest and the knight stumbles back in shock, lowering his sword just enough for Merlin to step forward and trip him up.

The scarred servant’s chest rises and falls deeply, but not too rapidly as he lowers his sword and offers a hand down to the beaten knight. Lancelot takes it with a slightly shocked smile, patting Merlin on the shoulder as he stands. Merlin flinches away from the touch, no one misses it, clearly not too fond of people touching his bare skin, and Lance drops his hand rapidly, frowning only briefly before he smiles again:

“Bloody hell, Merlin. I knew you were good, but not that good.”

Merlin gives him a strained smile, grateful for the distraction. Everyone sees the moment Merlin’s mask goes up again; he gives Lance a smug grin and twirls his sword once again as he shrugs mockingly:

“I’ve been watching you lot train for ten years, and I’ve been in a few sword fights in my time. I picked up a few things.”

Arthur finally reacts, scoffing as he shakes his head in disbelief, scars momentarily forgotten:

“There’s no way that you can- that was a fluke.-”

He looks smug as he says it, like he’s figured out some great secret, and Mordred lets out a low, annoyed growl; no one notices thankfully, but Merlin shoots him a quick frustrated line across their mental link:

“Please try not to antagonise him any further.”

Mordred looks to him, keeping his face blank as he nods almost imperceptibly. Lancelot and Gwaine look openly disapproving of Arthur’s assertion, but Leon, Percival, and Elyan look almost convinced. Arthur nods decisively, picking up his sword once again and waving it in Merlin’s direction:

“-My turn. And once I’ve beaten you, you’re going to tell us about all of… that.”

Merlin’s eye twitches, but he doesn’t say anything, just nods slightly as he holds a placating hand out in Lancelot’s direction when it becomes obvious that his best friend is going to start trying to defend him.

Arthur takes Lancelot’s place in the ring and Merlin grips his sword tightly, his shoulders tense and his face showing only mild annoyance, despite the anger that Lancelot and Mordred were sure was simmering under his façade. At Arthur’s nod, Leon reluctantly counts them in, and the match begins.

This one is somehow even more fast-paced, though no one is surprised. The last ten minutes had caught Arthur extremely off-guard. An off-guard Arthur is a grumpy Arthur, and a grumpy Arthur is, unfortunately, still the type to take his frustrations out on others. Arthur wasn’t good at dealing with his emotions, meaning the disturbing mix of horror, guilt, and anger at Merlin’s scars, slight… shock, (because he refuses to call it anything else) at his deceptively strong physique, and surprise that apparently his servant can take out one of his best knights without all that much effort, all together have The King bursting with adrenaline.

He throws blow after blow, but Merlin’s defence is incredibly strong, and Arthur has yet to land a hit anywhere other than the opposing sword. After a couple of minutes, Merlin switches styles, and Arthur almost trips when he realises his servant has, in the space of a second, gone from fighting like Arthur, to fighting like Leon. The knights notice it as well; Gwaine lets out a low whistle and Elyan smacks Leon on the shoulder, pointing incredulously at a sequence of complicated footwork that usually only the First Knight can manage so gracefully. Apparently Merlin can do it too.

Arthur adapts to this quickly; Leon was his sparring partner most often, meaning that he was accustomed to switching between their styles, and they were the most similar fighters in all the group.

Another minute passes, and the pair still don’t slow, seemingly unbothered by their dumbfounded audience and the sweltering heat, and this time Merlin suddenly starts fighting more like Gwaine. Instead of staying on the defensive and trying to trip Arthur up, he goes on the attack, landing heavier and heavier hits as The King barely manages to defend himself in time.

Merlin is quickly growing tired, his stamina not nearly as good as Arthur’s, but The King grows complacent, even with the vicious pace, certain that he just has to wait Merlin out. He was wrong. Arthur finally gets an attack of his own in but Merlin dives to the side instead of blocking it, rolling and coming up to Arthur’s left before the blonde has time to regain his balance and turn around. He freezes in place when Merlin touches his wooden sword to the side of Arthur’s neck. He can feel it shaking, but it’s undoubtedly a killing blow, and when Merlin drops the sword to the floor in favour of bending over, one hand on his knee and the other on his side again as he pants, Arthur turns around faster than he thinks he’s ever moved before:

“How the fuck did you do that?”

Merlin is vaguely aware of the knights all clapping and shouting encouragement at him, but he doesn’t look up, just waves dismissively in Arthur’s direction:

“I told you, I’ve been watching you lot train for years. It’s easy to imitate you after a little practice.”

Arthur just stares at him in disbelief, but Leon hands the servant a water-skin, ripping his gaze from the whip marks on his back with clenched teeth before schooling his tone and face into something more friendly:

“Merlin, you switched styles twice in as many minutes… you beat the best swordsman in the Kingdom after already being tired from another spar, that’s… that’s incredible.”

Merlin drinks the entire skin as Leon speaks, looking up with another playful mask on his face:

“Well believe me, I’m so sore I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it again.”

Merlin’s smile drops when he realises everyone is back to staring at him, more specifically, his scars. He steps away from the curly-haired knight, who furrows his brows in concern and resists the urge to reach a comforting hand out to him. Merlin crosses his arms over his chest defensively, hunching his broad shoulders slightly as he frowns at the floor.

Lancelot quickly throws his tunic to him, and Merlin scrambles to pull it on as quickly as possible, but before he can even get his arms through the right holes, Arthur snatches it away, a stern, angry look on his face. Though every one of then can see the badly hidden concern as well:

“No, you agreed to tell us.”

Merlin makes a move for his tunic, but Arthur jumps out of his reach. The servant huffs, annoyed and close to tears all of a sudden as he petulantly replies:

“Actually, you said once you beat me, I had to tell you. I won.”

Arthur raises an eyebrow, taking another step back:

“I’m happy to go another round if you are, Merlin?”

Merlin glares at him angrily for another few moments before completely sagging, staring at the floor with sad, tired eyes as his arms drop to dangle at his sides. Arthur and the knights are completely taken aback at Merlin’s sudden change of disposition, though it heartbreakingly strikes them as less of a change and more of a... reveal. A reveal of some kind of sadness that’s been there all along. How did they not notice this??

Arthur’s breath hitches and his tight clutch on Merlin’s tunic loosens slightly as he all but whispers:

“Merlin... who did this to you?”

Merlin finally looks up at him, letting out a humourless chuckle as he rakes a hand through his sweat-dampened hair roughly:

“Does it matter? Most of them are dead, I-”

His eyes narrow and his voice lowers. The knights hear it nonetheless:

“... I made sure of that .”

Arthur lets out a huff of frustration, not bothering to hide the desperation in his eyes as he pleads:

“Please, Merlin, you’re my... subject, you’re meant to be under my protection. And don’t lie, none of these are more than eleven or twelve years old at most and you got here ten years ago, so they happened in Camelot, under my watch. Please, Merlin.”

Merlin sighs, walking towards the tree’s shade once again. For a moment Arthur panics, thinking he’d pushed Merlin too far as he turned away, knowing that if this conversation wasn’t had now, their relationship would never be the same. But before The King can say anything, the servant slumps back into place against the tree trunk, sitting cross-legged again and biting his lip as he looks at Arthur expectantly.

Before anyone else can move, Mordred and Lancelot take the places either side of Merlin, sitting protectively close. Lance gives Mordred a pointed look, to which the younger knight nods before settling a blank expression on the side of Merlin’s head. Merlin doesn’t look back at him, but pats the knight’s knee as the corner of his mouth turns up briefly in a barely-there smile.

Arthur narrows his eyes, but stores that odd exchange in the back of his mind to deal with at a later date before sitting across from Merlin; the other knights look to each other, worried, before settling in the empty spaces to complete the circle. The group is silent for a while, all staring at a statue-still Merlin who in turn is staring at the grass in front of him; he doesn’t move even when Lancelot brings his hand into his lap, stroking his thumb over the servant’s knuckles absent-mindedly.

It’s Percival that finally breaks the silence, asking in a quiet voice:

“What happened, Merlin?”

Merlin looks up suddenly, as if he had forgotten he had company, taking in a deep breath and tightening his grip on Lance’s hand. He gulps before once again running his free hand through his hair, shrugging slightly as he mutters:

“I don’t recall all of them in perfect detail, just ask about... whatever catches your eye I guess, and we’ll see what I can remember.”

The knights all nod, looking to each other expectantly, no one really wanting to go first. Eventually Leon clears his throat, his voice gentle:

“Why don’t we start with the whip marks on your back?”

Merlin nods, grateful that they were at least starting off with the non-magical injuries. He doesn’t make eye contact with anyone as he speaks, his voice croaky and quiet:

“The newer ones are from Cenred, from a few years ago. He wanted information and I spat at his feet and told him to fuck off. He... he didn’t take too kindly to that.”

Gwaine lets out a quiet curse, and Arthur sits up straight, saying in a crackingly authoritative voice:

“Merlin, if anyone ever tries to extract information from you again, you give them anything. Everything. We’ll deal with the fall-out afterwards, it is not your job to withstand torture.”

The other knights nod approvingly but Merlin just looks up at The King with a raised eyebrow:

“Like hell. I can put up with a remarkable amount, I’d never sell Camelot, or you, out. Never, Arthur.”

Arthur huffs and resolutely ignores the tears gathering in his eyes, but Elyan beats him to the mark:

“That’s not... you shouldn’t have to put up with anything Merlin, it’s not necessary. You just... keep yourself safe. We’ll worry about everything else.”

The other knights nod again, but Merlin scowls and tenses even further, even as Lancelot squeezes his hand comfortingly:

“I’ve been through literal hell, multiple times, in order to protect my home and the people that are important to me. I’m not going to stop that just because it makes you lot uncomfortable, and you have no right to tell me to it’s not my place.”

Everyone looks desperate to argue, but they can’t deny that, after what they’ve seen today, in the last half a candle-mark only, Merlin is evidently a lot stronger than they’ve ever given him credit for. Both physically and mentally. Leon just gives Merlin a small smile and nods; he’s the only one here who has known Merlin just as long as Arthur, and he may not be as close to the younger man as The King or Lance or Gwaine or Mordred, but he’s seen his loyalty in action several times over the years:

“You said the newer ones were from Cenred. You’ve been flogged more than once?”

Merlin nods at the knight, grateful for his understanding and change of subject, even if said change of subject was back to his scars. His expression turns slightly guilty as his gaze moves to Arthur, and The King has a feeling he’s going to feel incredibly terrible at whatever it is Merlin is about to say:

“The others are from... uh.... Uther.-”

Arthur takes in a sharp breath as the tears he had just about managed to get under control gather again. The other knights just look angry, bar Leon, who, though miserable, looks as though he sort of expected it:

“-He didn’t like me very much.”

Arthur whispers his response:

“When? Merlin, when and why did my father have you flogged, and how did I not know about it?”

Merlin tenses his jaw, going from guilty to angry in a split second, snapping his response:

“Why do you think?!-”

Arthur recoils and Merlin closes his eyes briefly as he takes a deep breath, looking back to Arthur with a blank mask and speaking in a monotone voice:

“What did you think he would do every time I took the blame for you missing a meeting or a meal or a training session because you were entertaining a woman or pissing about with your knights? I had to walk into the council room and apologise for your absence because I slept in or I forgot to tell you or I sent you on a hunt on the wrong day. Uther was in the habit of burning people and chopping off an alarming number of heads, did you really think I would get away with it punishment free??

Arthur goes pale as a sheet and his hands tremble with the understanding. He shakes his head slightly as he looks to his lap, ignoring the tears on his cheeks as he murmurs:

“Merlin I am so sorry, I didn’t... I didn’t think... if I had known I would have duelled him in the damn town square to protect you.-”

Arthur looks up sharply, wiping his face clean as he settles an assessing gaze on his servant, ignoring Gwaine’s murderous glare as he slowly continues:

“-... which is exactly why you never told me, isn’t it?”

Merlin shrugs, a small smile on his face:

“You may never admit it, Arthur, but you were protective of me, even then.”

Arthur flushes slightly, before frowning again and shaking his head:

“You should have told me, it’s my job to protect you.”

Merlin raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly:

“I think we’ve already had this conversation.”

Arthur huffs and narrows his eyes again, good-naturedly this time, and Merlin just rolls his eyes before seeming to sag again, speaking quietly:

“Come on, next one.”

Elyan raises his hand slightly before pointing to the centre of Merlin’s chest:

“How the hell did you get a burn like that?”

Merlin tenses, rubbing a hand over the roughly circular, pink and white scar in the centre of his chest. The flesh looked melted in places, white scar tissue spider-webbing out from his sternum, beginning to fade just before it stretched around his sides, and stopping a few inches above his naval:

“Witch threw a fireball at me. Hurt like hell, but there was quite a lot of adrenaline at the time so I didn’t really notice the pain until later.”

Gwaine raises an eyebrow, evidently trying to control his anger as he asks, in a shaking, though forceful, voice:

“And what were you doing fighting a witch powerful enough to throw fire around?”

Merlin stops rubbing at the scar when Lancelot tugs his hand and Mordred mutters “You’re going to hurt yourself, Merlin.” in his head, curling his hand tightly in his lap instead and speaking slowly, as if he were choosing each word individually:

“Only Leon and Arthur were in Camelot for that. Arthur was dying from the Questing Beast bite, I... went to the Isle of the Blessed to speak to the followers of the Old Religion. There was said to be someone there who had power over life and death and I... Arthur was dying, I had to try.-”

Arthur’s eyes widened at Merlin’s words, mostly the mention of such a power, but stays silent, nodding at him to continue:

“-But the Old Religion requires balance, a life for a life,-”

Leon releases a deep breath, looking to the floor at the implication with his eyes closed, and Arthur lets out a whispered whimper, knowing the depths of Merlin’s loyalty:

“-I offered my own in exchange for Arthur’s. She, Nimueh, that is, accepted,-”

Arthur opens his mouth to say something, he’s not sure what, but before he can yell about Merlin’s self preservation, he notices the darkness on his dearest friend’s face and his voice catches in his throat. Merlin stares at the floor, his face drawn and angry and his voice stormy and clipped:

“-but she tried to trick me. I didn’t appreciate that, we fought, she died. Her life for Arthur’s: the deal was done.”

An audible gasp goes up around the circle, and Percival, who is (other than Merlin and Mordred of course) the most well versed in Magic Info, responds breathlessly:

“Merlin... Nimueh is a High Priestess, The master over Life and Death, she’s very very powerful.”

Merlin looks up at the gentle giant sharply, his gaze unforgiving and his tone harsh:

“Yeah, and she’s also very very dead, because she pissed me off.”

Percival gulps and lowers his gaze, but Arthur seems to have missed everything the two of them just said as he stares blankly at his servant:

“You’d barely known me a year, and I’ll admit that I was an arse back then, and you tried to give your life for mine. Why?”

Merlin looks at him curiously, not responding for a few moments as his anger dies down and his pride grows:

“I had it on good authority that you would become a Great King one day. It only took a little squinting to see it, you were a good man, a man I was, and still am, prepared to sacrifice myself for. You were an arse, yes, you still sort of are, but I have faith in you, always have, always will.”

Lancelot and Mordred smile fondly at him as the other knights stare dumbfounded, but Arthur clenches his jaw, ignoring the shaking in his voice as he says:

“Well, I... I forbid it. You are officially forbidden from sacrificing yourself for me, legally.”

Gwaine perks up slightly:

“Out of curiosity, do we all get the same-”

Arthur interrupts him with a forceful, though slightly amused:

“Shut up, Gwaine. And no, you’re a knight, your entire job description is to jump head first into danger so I don’t have to. I have every faith that you’ll die for me one day.”

Everyone lets out quiet snorts at that, bar Gwaine of course, who looks jokingly affronted before he nods and shrugs, quietly muttering “Yeah, fair enough,-”, the rest of his sentence (”especially considering you’re in love with him but not any of us.”) goes unheard and unchallenged.

Merlin chooses not to respond to Arthur’s demand, but everyone knows that’s his way of not committing to anything, knowing full well that Merlin had never listened to Arthur’s orders before, and sure as shit wasn’t going to start now.

“Next one.”

Merlin’s face had fallen slightly, knowing he wasn’t going to get away with explaining only two sets of scars, and Gwaine asks next, his eyes being drawn to Merlin’s gesturing hand:

“The red bands around your wrists and neck. They look like burns, but not very deep ones. How did they scar if they weren’t deep?”

Merlin looks down at the scars on his wrists, resisting the urge to absent-mindedly claw at the one he knows sits low on his neck. They’re about two inches wide, pale pink and almost impossible to see in the dark but impossible not to see in the light of the noon sun, even sat in the shade. The edges were clean cut and perfectly straight, and Merlin winced slightly at the memory of his magic being contained in such a way.

He looks around the circle, speaking easily. Though it was painful, it was no where near the worst Merlin has ever had, and even if he couldn’t tell the full truth, it felt sort of nice not to have to hide these ones:

“Some sort of enchanted chains, they drained my energy, made me sick and tired, but the magic in the metal sort of... stung, I guess. I don’t really know. I’d been captured by Morgause (is Morgana not mentioned in this entire fic but still Good? Yes.) again and I suppose she didn’t want to take any chances.”

Everyone looks shocked at his casual admission, and Leon is the first to break the tense silence:

“When were you captured by Morgause?”

Before Merlin can respond, Arthur pipes up incredulously:

“Again. You said again. Merlin, how many times have you been kidnapped by Morgause without anyone realising? How many times have you been kidnapped in general?!”

Merlin winces slightly, speaking in a slightly defensive tone as he stares at Arthur as though the answer is obvious:

“Arthur... I’m The King’s personal manservant. I have the power to overrule the Steward and the Housekeeper if I wanted to; as far as servant’s go, I have the most authority, even more than some low level nobles, especially when it comes to running the citadel. I’m sort of... a big deal. I have access to pretty much any information I could want, even more than this lot-”

He gestures to the knights around the circle. Mordred and Lancelot look a little proud once again, Leon is staring at Arthur, shocked that The King didn’t know this, and everyone else stares at Merlin, only just realising that... Merlin was right. None of them have considered it before, but he practically runs the castle.

“-most of the time, and I’m the only one who knows every single state secret, simply from my proximity to you and your council and your paperwork. That is rather... desirable to people like Morgause, people who want to attack Camelot.”

Merlin purses his lips awkwardly as everyone stares at him blankly, but Gwaine is the first to break the silence:

“... and we’ve just been letting you walk around, unprotected.”

Merlin raises as eyebrow:

“I think we’ve already established I don’t need protection.”

Arthur huffs and throws his hands up awkwardly:

“Well you obviously do, if you’re getting kidnapped so often. When even was this?? You haven’t disappeared for a while, and we haven’t had any trouble from Morgause in months.”

Merlin’s face falls, and the knights are taken aback at the reappearance of the... cruel darkness in his expression:

“Believe me, I know. She... won’t be bothering us any longer, I wasn’t fond of her repeated attempts to kill me or you so I... took care of it.”

The knights go pale at Merlin’s casual admittance of killing yet another High Priestess of the Old Religion. He smirks into his lap briefly until Lance once again squeezes his hand, as if reminding him of the mask he should be wearing. Arthur stares at his servant and long time friend, struggling to reconcile the clumsy ideal he has in his head with this... hardened, tortured protector:

“How? Nimueh and Morgause... just... how??”

Merlin’s eyes slowly move up to meet Arthur’s gaze, and The King gulps at the assessing way the servant tilts his head:

“Playing the role of clumsy rural idiot can be a little demeaning sometimes, but it also means that people tend to underestimate me. They think I’m an easy target, and by the time they realise I’ve played them, it’s too late.”

Arthur recoils slightly, and Merlin once again changes dispositions, shrugging casually and smiling easily, his tone light:

“You can get away with a remarkable amount when people think you’re stupid.”

The circle lets out an in-sync breath. All of them knew that Merlin wasn’t stupid by any stretch of the imagination, but they didn’t realise just how smart he is. None of them would admit it, but Elyan, Leon, Percival, Arthur, and even Gwaine on some level, still subconsciously considered Merlin “just a servant” in the back of their minds. At least... they did.

(Not that that old thought process made them think any less of him, they just didn’t think of him as complicated, as a warrior.)

Merlin takes a deep breath, knowing that his friends would never see him in the same way, but sort of hoping that that was a good thing, gesturing vaguely to the circle once again. Arthur asks the next question, touching his hand to the back of his own neck softly:

“There’s a cut on the back of your neck. It looks deep, like it was reopened over and over, what is it?”

Merlin grimaces slightly, wiping his free hand over his face in exhaustion as Lancelot squeezes his other hand, and Mordred pats his knee comfortingly:

“That one was a few years ago, courtesy of Morgause again. She put something called a Fomorrah in me-”

Percival gasped slightly, harshly whispering “Gods.” under his breath. Arthur spares him a quick glance, making a mental note to question how his knight seems to know so much about sorcery at a later date:

“-so she could try to make me kill Arthur; it sort of... controls you. Makes you only able to focus on whatever instruction you’re given when it’s first put in you. Gaius kept having to cut it out of me, it wouldn’t stop re-growing until we killed the rest of it’s body, and that was with Morgause somewhere out of the city.”

Arthur looked a little outraged, hiding the worry of “I now know that Merlin could kill me without any trouble at all so how the fuck am I alive?”. Apparently he doesn’t hide it well; Merlin gives him a comforting smile and shrugs his shoulders slightly:

“I fought the compulsion pretty well, kept coming up with increasingly complicated assassination plans instead of just... stabbing you in your sleep or something.”

Arthur goes to respond, but he’s interrupted by Leon loudly cursing, his eyes wide as he stares at Merlin with flushed cheeks:

“I just... gave you a crossbow!! You said you were going to kill Arthur and I thought you were joking and I let you walk out the armoury with a crossbow and a handful of bolts!!”

Merlin chuckles, a blush of his own rising as he responds, rubbing the back of his neck again:

“Yeah... I don’t really remember it, but Gaius and Gwen filled me in on what had happened. To be fair, it’s kind of flattering that you never considered that I was the assassin, despite the repeated attempts being made on Arthur’s life and the fact that I admitted it to your face.”

Leon stares at the floor with wide eyes, seemingly trying to process the fact that he had pointed a would be assassin in the right direction, muttering something along the lines of “oh my Gods oh my Gods oh my Gods” over and over until Elyan awkwardly patted him on the back, breaking him from his embarrassed horror.

Arthur clears his throat, staring at Merlin with an almost unreadable expression:

“I did wonder why the attempts just... stopped?”

Merlin understands the question in his tone and nods slightly before replying:

“Hmm. Gaius and Gwen figured out it was me, found a way to paralyse the thing in my neck until I managed to get back to Morgause’s little lair and kill the main body.”

Arthur nods distractedly. How many times had this happened? “This” being something entirely ridiculous and/or incredibly dangerous right under his nose.

Percival clears his throat and Merlin looks to the nervous man, nodding at him to ask whatever it was that was on his mind, despite his growing discomfort:

“There’s... on your back, it looks like a stab wound but... worse. The veins around it are black and it looks painful despite it’s obvious age and... well... it looks like a Serket Sting, but it... it can’t be, right?”

Merlin tenses, back to looking as exhausted and scared and as ready to bolt as he had at the beginning of the conversation. Lancelot squeezes his hand again, tightly this time, and Mordred takes his other to stop him from clenching it too harshly, murmuring:

“You don’t have to, Merlin, not this one.”

Arthur clenches his jaw at the knowledge that two of his knights had known about this. Had known the collage of agony on Merlin’s body, had known what he’d been through and done nothing. Hadn’t prevented it, hadn’t brought it to Arthur, hadn’t protected him. But equally, with how protective and loyal and secretive Merlin is, and how heartbroken the two of them had looked when Merlin first took his tunic off, they likely hadn’t known the full extent of damage.

Merlin just sighs and shakes his head, sensing the curious stares of the others before rising to his knees and turning around, running a shaking hand over the scar briefly before dropping his hand to his side again. The others stare, astounded. They’d only caught brief glimpses of it before, but now they could see it properly it was undoubtedly a Serket Sting.

The deep puncture mark on his lower back had closed up, but the skin was still sunken in slightly, red and angry looking with hints of purple towards the middle. Percival was right: dark veins, as if permanently poisoned, stretched out from the centre of the wound, dipping below the waistband of his trousers and fading about halfway up his back.

After a few moments, Merlin turns around again and sits back down, placing his still shaking hand back in Lance’s lap without prompting. Arthur’s one-word question is whispered and cracked, and no one judges him for the tears in his eyes; most of them have tears of their own gathering and falling at their friend’s pain:

“How?”

Merlin gulps, not looking up as he leans slightly into Mordred’s shoulder. The young knight presses back, knowing how fond the servant is of warm pressure, not minding the sticky sweatiness of their still uncovered torsos in the noon heat:

“Morgause again. She got annoyed with me always ruining her plans, getting in the way. Left me chained up in the middle of a nest of... in the middle of a nest.”

Leon takes a deep breath, rubbing his eyes harshly and sniffing before asking, his voice strong despite the slight waver:

“How did you survive that? I’ve... I’ve seen men get stung by serkets and it’s not... nice.”

Merlin breathes shakily, his mouth open slightly as he stares at the floor, memories flashing through his mind and the scar on his back twinging uncomfortably. Again, Percival was right, despite it’s age, it did still hurt. He takes one last deep breath, clenching his eyes shut tightly before looking up at the curly-haired knight, not quite making eye-contact:

“I uh... a lot of screaming, and the help of an... old friend. I was out of Camelot for a few days whilst I recovered, my friend didn’t fancy being executed for helping me, for just existing.”

Arthur furrows his brows but the others, bar Leon, nod in understanding, looking only slightly guilty and not looking to The King as he asks:

“What do you mean? If someone has found a way to cure a Serket sting then they most definitely wouldn’t be executed for it.”

Elyan snorts and Mordred and Lancelot frown at the floor as Merlin stares at Arthur with poorly concealed contempt:

“Arthur... the cure for a Serket sting has been around for centuries, it just involves very strong, very complicated magic. I didn’t fancy dying in absolute agony, and my friend didn’t fancy being executed for the act of saving my life so we stayed away from the city whilst he treated me.”

Arthur looks at his servant, dumbfounded and confused, and the knights stay silent in their awkwardness. Leon, a lifelong citizen of Camelot, is the only other person to look surprised at Merlin’s explanation, though he nods after a few moments, conceding that it... makes sense. Of course it does.

Mordred frowns when he notices Merlin’s knee begin to bounce up and down slightly, but it’s the way he gulps and tightens his grip on Lance’s hand that has the two knights begin to properly worry. They share a quick look, obviously agreeing on something, before Mordred takes Merlin’s other hand and settles a soft touch on his vibrating knee whilst Lancelot looks to Arthur:

“I think we’re done for the day. This has been... a lot.”

Merlin is getting paler by the second and Mordred can sense the man’s distress, shooting Lance a desperate look before subtly trying to shuffle closer to Merlin, who leans even further into his touch. Arthur doesn’t seem to notice, looking annoyed at Lancelot’s assertion and rolling his eyes before moving his gaze back to Merlin’s quivering form:

“No, Merlin’s suffered and I need to know why. There are mace wounds on both your shoulders, I remember one, but not the-”

Arthur is interrupted by a low whine from the back of Merlin’s throat as he thumps his head back against the tree, eyes still shut tightly. His words out come quietly and broken, as if it were a struggle to breathe, let alone speak:

“Can we please stop now?”

Mordred ignores Arthur, moving to kneel in front of the servant whilst Lancelot glares at The King. Arthur just huffs slightly, though he obviously completely underestimates the distress his friend is in, looking concerned, but not letting up:

“Merlin, we’ve barely gone through a third of them, we can’t stop-”

Lancelot lets out a low growl, letting go of Merlin’s hand and moving towards Arthur, glaring as he says:

“Arthur, we need to stop. Now.”

The young King looks taken aback, though the argument is stopped in his throat when Mordred’s quiet voice interrupts him:

“Merlin, you need to breathe.-”

He peers around the young knight as best he can, but Lance’s still vicious glare stops him from moving too close. Mordred brings one of Merlin’s hands up, pressing it against his chest and continuing his soft instructions:

“-Copy my breathing, alright? Can you tell me where you are right now, Merlin?”

The knights all stare on in horror at Merlin’s pale skin and ragged breathing, staying still in their places when Lancelot gestures at them firmly. It’s Merlin’s next word, cracked and whispered, that trigger another round of tears to gather in their eyes:

“C...cave.”

Mordred shakes his head slowly and Lancelot curses under his breath, kneeling back next to Mordred and retaking Merlin’s other hand, holding it between his own securely. Mordred’s soft voice floats in the wind, and if the knights weren’t so distracted by their friend’s pain, they would think it sounds almost magical:

“No, you’re safe, Merlin. Think, listen, feel. Can you try to tell me where you are again?

Merlin shakes his head roughly, his still-shut eyes not stopping the tears from squeezing out as he flinches, strikes of lightening-like agony shooting out from the scar on his lower back. Lance worries his lip between his teeth, rubbing one of his hands up and down Merlin’s shivering arm; a nod from Mordred has Lance speak, his words soft and low despite the waver in his voice:

“Merlin, you know where you are, and me and Mordred are right here with you. You need to open your eyes buddy, tell us where we are.”

Merlin’s breathing instantly seems to calm a little at Lancelot’s voice, and he cracks his bloodshot eyes open, immediately sighing when his blurry gaze lands on the canopy above him, whispering:

“Tree... sky... Camelot.”

The others can see Mordred let out a relieved sigh, and they force themselves to relax slightly. Merlin’s body sags again and Lance frowns, but the young servant’s stuttering words as he stares blankly up into the tree interrupt any reassurance he could have offered:

“Please, I can’t... I don’t... please don’t make me-”

Lance stills his hand on Merlin’s shoulder, not even paying the slightest bit of attention to anyone else as he replies:

“No one’s going to make you, Merlin, we can carry on another day-”

Arthur’s interrupted “But-” is quickly shut down when Lance turns around to glare at him, a sharp “-I said we’re done for the day.” sent his way.

Merlin flinches again, the pain in his back getting worse and worse and making it harder to keep a grasp on reality, so damning the consequences, Mordred presses a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes and he mouths the words to a sleeping spell as quietly as he can. Thankfully, everyone’s attention is on the glaring contest between Lancelot and The King, so no one immediately notices the way Merlin falls forwards into Mordred’s arms, not until he nudges Lance in the leg and mutters:

“He passed out. We should get him to Gaius, he needs proper rest and pain medication.”

Lancelot nods his head firmly, back to ignoring Arthur and the others as he moves to Merlin’s side, pulling his arm over his shoulder as Mordred does the same on the servant’s other side. Mordred’s eyes scan over the knights, searching for whoever looks the most likely to help without question; his gaze stills on a terribly worried looking Gwaine:

“Gwaine, run ahead to warn Gaius, tell him that Merlin had a really bad episode and then passed out.”

Gwaine gulps but nods, gathering his tunic in quick hands and putting it on haphazardly as he sprints back to the castle. Mordred and Lancelot adjust their grips, standing and bringing Merlin up with them as they turn in the direction Gwaine had ran and begin the careful journey back to the citadel. The knights follow behind them closely, hastily dressing themselves and desperate to ask questions, but knowing that now was not the time. Elyan jogs ahead of them to open doors and clear a path, and Percival had grabbed Merlin, Lancelot, and Mordred’s tunics as Leon put all of the swords away before catching up.

Thankfully they don’t come across many people, though Lance and Mordred still do their best to conceal Merlin between them, knowing that he would be distraught if anyone else saw his scars. They make good time to Gaius’ chambers, and they find the Physician preparing a few strong pain potions and sleeping draughts as Gwaine paced.

Gaius looks incredibly worried, but unsurprised, and Lance and Mordred carry Merlin up to his room without prompting; the sick feeling in Arthur’s stomach tells him that they’re practiced at this. The King goes to follow them, but they kick the door shut behind them so they can have at least a little privacy whilst they settle their friend in his bed. They leave the covers off, knowing that he’d just overheat or kick them off in the nightmares that they know are coming. Lance nods knowingly at Mordred, and the younger of the two moves swiftly back into the main room, shutting the door behind him again softly, avoiding eye contact with anyone bar Gaius, even as Percival hands him his tunic.

The elderly Physician raises an eyebrow, and Mordred answers the wordless question quietly, though not quiet enough for the other knights to not hear him:

“Not yet, but soon, he’ll definitely need a sleeping draught to get him through it. It was his back, so he’ll need the strongest pain one you’ve got.”

Gaius nods, picking up two of the many concoctions he had prepared, not reacting to Arthur’s desperate questions, leaving the conversation to Mordred:

“What are you talking about? Get through what??”

Mordred sighs and frowns slightly, unable to get over all of his anger at the King for pushing Merlin so far:

“The nightmares. He always gets them, especially after an episode that bad.”

Arthur recoils, just a little horrified, but Gwaine beats him to the mark, asking in a shaking voice:

“Episode??”

Mordred moves his gaze to the worried knight, a little more sympathetic to the man he knew was more loyal to Merlin than he was to The King:

“Flashbacks, panic attacks. Merlin has been through... a lot. Chronic pain or difficult conversations sometimes trigger a sort of... breakdown, he struggles to differentiate between memories and reality. Normally he can just wait it out with a little help. When it’s really bad we put him to sleep, it’s the only way to stop him from hurting himself accidentally.”

Everyone looks horrified at that, their focus on Mordred rather than Gaius, who was stealthily ascending the steps to Merlin’s room, potions in hand. Arthur is the first to break the tense silence:

“How long? How long as he been getting these episodes, and why the hell did no one think to tell me?!”

Mordred moves his harsh gaze back to The angry King, glaring at him when his voice rose:

“With all due respect, My Lord, lower your voice. Merlin needs rest, he needs to not be disturbed.”

Arthur looks annoyed, though still heartbroken, but nods slightly, almost whispering as he responds:

“You didn’t answer my questions. How long, and why wasn’t I told?”

Mordred sighs, looking to the floor briefly as he crosses his arms over his chest . After a few moments of considering his answer, he finally looks up again, suddenly appearing exhausted and resigned as he replies softly:

“I don’t really know. He didn’t tell us, we just... found out. It took us a while to convince him to explain it properly and let us help. He didn’t want anyone worrying or treating him like glass; it doesn’t happen very often at all, and this is... this is the worst one I’ve ever seen.”

Arthur frowns and shakes his head slightly, but it’s Leon that speaks next:

“Why not tell us, at least? What if something had happened and you weren’t with us? We wouldn’t have known what was wrong.”

Mordred takes a deep breath and shrugs, nodding slightly, obviously aware that he couldn’t tell them about his and Merlin’s mental link:

“We tried telling him that, but he wouldn’t have it. We were maybe one more conversation away from convincing him to tell Gwaine or Guinevere, but I guess that’s not necessary anymore.”

Arthur pushes down the twinge of jealousy that Merlin had never even considered telling him, but it obviously shows on his face; Mordred scowls slightly, clenching his hands to try and cover his annoyance. Before either men can say anything, Lancelot comes back down from Merlin’s room, leaving Gaius with the young servant:

“It’s starting, Mordred we need to go, everyone else, out.”

Percival throws Lance’s tunic to him as the knights move to the door, albeit reluctantly, but Arthur doesn’t move, glaring down at Mordred angrily when the younger man stops him from going into Merlin’s room:

“He’s my manservant, I want to be there when he wakes up.”

Mordred narrows his eyes, and Arthur kicks himself for never realising how much Merlin meant to him before now, but before the knight can say anything, Lancelot steps up next to him, answering in his stead:

“No, me and Mordred will be there, that’s all he needs. You need to go, My Lord.”

Arthur gears up to argue, to pull rank, squaring his shoulders and snarling slightly, but an angry Lancelot is something he’s never seen and never had to deal with before, so he’s far too surprised to say anything when the knight interrupts his posturing:

“I said no, Arthur. He has to pretend in front of you. You’ve already done this to him,-”

He gestures angrily to the door to Merlin’s room:

“-he needs to not tense up and stress out immediately upon waking up.”

Arthur steps back slightly, but clears his throat, pushing through the slight heartbreak and guilt to argue:

“Oh, and he doesn’t have to pretend in front of you two?”

Mordred rolls his eyes, giving Lancelot a pointed look before stalking up to Merlin’s room, leaving the older knight to deal with the angry King. Lance clenches his jaw and lets out a harsh breath, looking away briefly, as if trying to stop himself from saying anything cruel, before giving up and glaring back at Arthur:

“No. He doesn’t. Because we, and Gaius, are the only people who actually know the first thing about Merlin, and he trusts us. He needs space, and time to heal, and comfort, not the demanding presence of a King whose already pushed him too far, who treats him like shit and forces him to think he has to hide who he is. For God’s sake, Arthur, can you please, for once, think of anyone but yourself.”

Arthur widens his eyes, and though Lancelot looks a little like he regrets what he said, he doesn’t back down, nodding to the door behind Arthur and not moving away until The King steps back again. Arthur takes a deep breath, turning to exit the Physician’s chambers before the knight could see the guilt on his face and the tears in his eyes. He leaves without looking back, ignoring the gaggle of knights waiting worriedly in the hall and stalking straight to his chambers, only just managing to shut the door behind him before the tears finally started falling.

Back in Merlin’s room, the servant thrashes in his sleep, whimpering despite Mordred’s comforting whispers in his head, Gaius’ hand in his hair, and Lancelot’s soft lap as a pillow.

This... was going to be a tough one.

The End of part 1!!!

This was legit supposed to only be one part buuuuuuut we can all see how that went. Part two will follow on really quickly, but it was getting far too long to leave all as one 😅

I hope y’all enjoyed it, link to part 2(the final part) at the top!! :)

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putschki1969 · 2 years

Photo

FictionJunction Station Express Railway Newsletter Vol.06 Scans

Here are my HQ scans of the latest FJS fan club magazine.

Vol.02 | Vol. 03 | Vol.04 | Vol.05

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites

Kajiura Yuki x KEIKO SPECIAL TALK English Translation

Note: This talk covers their entire history together so I thought it would be nice to provide a translation. They also mention Wakana a couple of times which is always a treat. It never fails to warm my heart to see them refer to Wakana as Wa-chan/WAKANA-chan. On a side note, I love how YK speaks so highly of Keiko, she definitely deserves all the praise! Without further ado, please enjoy!

As a member of FictionJunction and Kalafina, KEIKO has been singing Kajiura’s songs for a very long time, now they have finally come together for a dialogue. This talk will cover a long time span, starting from their first meeting up until this year’s Yuki Kajiura LIVE vol.#16. In addition to looking back on all lives until vol.#16, they will also discuss KEIKO's 2nd solo album "dew" which was released on December 8th.

ー I think the first time KEIKO sang one of Kajiura-san's songs was when she did the insert song "Kaze no Machi he" for the anime "Tsubasa Chronicle". When exactly did you two first meet?

Kajiura: Yes, our first meeting was around the time of "Kaze no Machi he" [※ ~2005]. That was an insert song, the character was singing it during a scene so I had to find a singer with a voice that would match the image of the character. I was looking for something husky, a deep alto but at that time, I knew no one that would fit this image. That’s when Mori-san introduced me to KEIKO-chan [※ Both Yuki and Kalafina used to be managed by Yasunori Mori under Space Craft]. KEIKO: At that time I had been doing various things on my own because I wanted to sing but really, I had zero experience so when I first heard about the opportunity to sing "Kaze no Machi he" I was honestly a little dumbfounded *laughs*. Kajiura: That's right *laughs*. That song was completely different from anything that KEIKO-chan was doing at that time as a member of Itokubo. KEIKO: Indeed! At that time, I was singing only punk and rock so it was a very fresh experience.

ー Was "Kaze no Machi he" a big challenge?

KEIKO: I didn't even have the awareness to consider it as a challenge, I was just super nervous. This sort of music was unknown to me so I had no idea how to sing it.

ー Do you remember the recording process?

KEIKO: I still remember that I wrongly assumed I would have to sing the chorus part with the coined words. However, I didn't get the score for the coined words so I desperately listened to the demo tape again and again, trying to make out the words and writing them down in katakana so I could bring them with me to the studio *laughs*. Then when I arrived at the studio YURIKO KAIDA-san was there and I suddenly remembered that she would be in charge of the chorus. I was so relieved! Kajiura: Oh really?? I'm so sorry about that misunderstanding! *laughs*

ー How was the recording itself, with a song that you were not familiar with?

Kajiura: It didn’t take too long, did it? KEIKO: On the contrary, there was so little that I could actually do back then. I remember Kajiura-san guiding me through a lot of the process and suggested to sing “in a natural manner” Kajiura: The song was set to be sung in a small venue so it was meant to be rather quiet and intimate. Nothing too exciting or cheerful, it was perfect for the image. I still really love that song.

ー The song was pretty mature for KEIKO’s age at that time, wasn’t it?

KEIKO: It's true that the character’s age was much higher than my own but I didn't even think about it *laughs*. Perhaps because of my youth, I was more focused on listening and singing rather than thinking about stuff. To be honest, I feel like at that time I couldn't afford to think about anything, I just did it.

ー Kalafina came a few years later. How was it when there was first talk about the Kalafina project?

KEIKO: Once again I was rather taken aback *laughs*. Mori-san told me about the audition for "The Garden of Sinners", the theme songs were supposed to be sung by different vocalists. The thing is, there was this anime but I didn’t think about whether I liked it or not, I just decided to prepare for the audition. There were about 3 assigned songs for the audition but the only one I liked in the selection was “Hoseki” so I thought that going with that would be my best option. I still remember practicing and going to the audition [※ Fun fact: Hikaru also auditioned with “Hoseki”]. Kajiura: Kalafina was off to a bumpy start, wasn't it? I didn’t show my face to anyone at that time and we really didn’t have many chances to meet each other, none of the members were supposed to be permanent so it didn’t make any sense to meet up. Everything started from the premise that the project would inevitably end as soon as "The Garden of Sinners" series was finished so I don't think anyone involved experienced it as a pleasant situation, it felt wrong to think about it as a proper debut. I felt the same way, I didn't know how long I would be allowed to do it, I wanted to continue working with these talented vocalists but if I had been told to continue with someone else I would have had no choice but to do so. That's why I couldn't make any promises for the future to the three of them, even though we recorded and released CDs, it was honestly so intangible and didn’t feel like an accomplishment at all, I think everyone was a bit annoyed. It wasn’t until the release of their 1st album and the single “Lacrimosa” when it was officially decided to have the three of them as permanent members of the group. KEIKO: Indeed, until then everything felt tenuous at best. Kajiura: Truth is, the original plan was to have seven vocalists for the seven movies of "The Garden of Sinners," they wanted seven newcomers to do it. For me personally it was more important to have good singers rather than a bunch of newcomers so that’s what I tried to tell the people in charge. But it was all pretty vague for a long time so it must have been extremely tough for the three of them, not knowing what would come next.

ー So the situation changed after that 1st album was released？

Kajiura: I mean, from the 2nd single onwards, all their names and faces were revealed but no one really knew the reason why that wasn’t the case for the first song *laughs* Perhaps it wasn’t until Kalafina started their live activities that they finally felt like a proper unit. Before that we would only meet briefly during recordings and we didn’t talk about anything. KEIKO: At the beginning it definitely felt like we were all on our own vs. Kajiura. There was no sense of togetherness.

ー When Kalafina started, did you have any issues with the extensive chorus work?

KEIKO: …Not particularly？ Kajiura: KEIKO-chan was participating in the Yuki Kajiura LIVES while she started her Kalafina activities. I think she felt like she was ready to record all these Kalafina songs because her skills had already improved considerably. KEIKO: It’s not like I didn’t worry about it but yeah, it was something along those lines. I mean, we even went to New York for some music production and I was singing together with experienced vocalists such as KAORI and Yuri-chan (YURIKO KAIDA), so it felt like a different dimension. I thought it was amazing to stand on the same stage as the person who sang the chorus of “Kaze no Machi he”, it truly was a great experience. Kajiura: I think your first experience with harmonising was when you performed as member of FictionJunction, right? KEIKO: The singing parts in the Yuki Kajura LIVES were very difficult. In the early days, most Kalafina songs had a pattern of “main vocal vs. other melody” but the FictionJunction songs had many difficult phrases rather than just plain harmonies. In the beginning I really couldn’t do a lot so I wasn’t of much use but slowly I saw my name appearing more and more frequently on the music sheets so I wonder if that might have been a reflection of my increasing skills.

ー Do you have any particular memories from the early days？

KEIKO: I remember every single live but I clearly recall the time when we had a Kalafina and a FJ performance two days in a row at JCB HALL [※ Kajiura Produce 3rd Anniversary LIVE TOUR]. Wa-chan and I were participating in both so this tour really improved our mental strength and memory. I feel like it was even harder than Kalafina's Nippon Budokan 2DAY LIVE which pretty much had two completely different set lists. Kajiura: Ah yes, it was at the time of Yuki Kajiura LIVE vol.#6 in 2010. We would have a 2DAY event for every venue, one day was dedicated to Kalafina, and the other day was for a YK LIVE, KEIKO-chan and WAKANA-chan were taking part in every single one of those lives ... I think it must have been hell for the two of you *laughs*. KEIKO: I had no idea what to expect back then so I had no way of properly preparing. Then again, nothing could have prepared me for it. All I knew was that I had to get through it! My focus and concentration were tremendous. Looking back, I am glad that we did those lives. We also did the Kalafina Asia Tour that year, it felt natural to sing every day. If it hadn’t been for these tours, I don’t think I would have gotten used to the regular live performances so quickly. They became a matter of course for me and that’s a good thing. *laughs*

ーThis became your foundation?

Kajiura: I felt like KEIKO-chan was worrying a lot during the first Yuki Kajiura LIVE, she didn’t quite know what she was doing. But then all of a sudden she became an incredibly reliable vocalist *laughs*. At around vol.#3 it was clear that KEIKO-chan had improved a lot and grown immensely as a singer so I was able to 100% rely on her *laughs* KEIKO: Yeah, I guess *laughs* Kajiura: Nowadays, it feels like she is truly the backbone of FictionJunction. I appreciate the sense of stability that KEIKO-chan is able to provide.

ー What happened to KEIKO in that short period of time after VOL＃1 to inspire that change？

Kajiura: KEIKO-chan really hates to lose, she is very diligent. She has a lot of respect for the work she does and is not willing to waste any time so I think that’s what enabled her to improve and grow in such a short amount of time. KEIKO: I was in a hurry to catch up *laughs* Because everyone around me had so much more experience than me. I think it was a good environment for growth. Kajiura: Maybe it was KEIKO-chan's growth that eventually changed the environment for the better. If you do your best like that, everyone, including myself, will be inspired to work just as hard. The sense of stability of the Yuki Kajiura LIVE regular team was truly tremendous back then, and I felt like this year’s vol.#16 was also amazing. I think KEIKO-chan was the major driving force to get us to this point so I am very grateful. KEIKO: I really enjoyed this live! Kajiura: It was really wonderful and your singing was so amazing that no praise would ever do it justice. I kept thinking that your vocals were astounding so I couldn’t help but tell you again and again. KEIKO: On this tour, we had a lot of discussions with everyone during the vocal rehearsals. Kajiura: Oh really? I want to know what you talked about *laughs*. I am always wondering what you are talking about. KEIKO: First of all, we each listen to the original version of the songs and practice by ourselves regarding various aspects, then the four of us come together for a group rehearsal. This time there were many Japanese songs which we hadn’t performed before, and moreover, they we were singing a lot of original songs. We had no real reference so our individual preparations were quite different depending on the song, we certainly had to discuss a lot. "Which is the correct way to sing this?" For some song it was relatively easy to find a solution but we struggled to find a good flow in "Beginning" and "Kioku no Mori" which were at the beginning of the live and were meant to serve as a sort of introduction for each voice. Kajiura-san had assigned certain parts to all of us so working on connecting the vocals proved to be quite difficult. Instead of creating harmonies like in "Distance", we are going from one vocal to the next to highlight them, just to eventually come together in “Kioku no Mori”. It took us a long time and we tried over and over again until I finally felt like I was getting more comfortable with "Kioku no Mori". Kajiura: About half of the set list was made up of FictionJunction songs but we don’t have WAKANA-chan with us anymore, instead we have Joelle-san. However, Joelle-san is not there to simply sing WAKANA-chan’s parts, her parts have been reassigned to the other members as well. The same is true for Kalafina's songs, truth is, with the exception of Aimer-san’s songs, none of the other songs are exactly the same as they used to be, I had to redo everything, so I think it was very difficult for my four utahimes to work with that. Also, everyone had a bit of a dry spell due to corona so I was a little worried whether or not they could handle the challenge after such a long break. But turns out I needn’t have worried, everyone was amazing so I felt bad for ever doubting them *laughs*. KEIKO: I'm happy you are saying this *laughs*. Kajiura: After all, you are seasoned performers. All of them have a high skill level and are accustomed to harmonising, they are also good at listening to their fellow members’ singing and adjusting their own singing accordingly. I think that there were many fans who hesitated to attend the lives because of corona but with everyone, including KEIKO-chan, singing so beautifully, you will surely have a change of heart and decide to come. You were guaranteed a fun experience so how could anyone miss out on that? Moreover, this time it was a live where the audience couldn’t do anything except sit there and listen so the utahimes needed to be all the more engaging to create a fun atmosphere. They really did their best and made it a wonderful live. The fact that they sang so well in such difficult times, there is really not enough praise for that! KEIKO: This time the set list was full of inspiring and motivational songs. For this reason, I put in a lot more time into preparation and rehearsed frequently by myself. I feel like I've been preparing for two months straight after finishing the FC event in spring. I trained my body and had gained some experience holding a live completely by myself so once the vocal rehearsals had started I felt like I was up to the challenge. The set list was filled with so much fighting spirit that it had just the right amount of heat for a tour in the middle of a pandemic. I wanted to make it a live where the audience would feel like deep inside they could move along despite only being able to sit there quietly. It was similar to what I felt back in 2010 when I had this strong drive to increase the heat *laughs*. With all the breaks and cancellations in light of the pandemic I thought it was very important to go on stage and experience this unique feeling in order not to forget it. Kajiura: I really liked KEIKO-chan's singing in "Beginning". I think that 5 years ago, you would have put too much effort into the performance to make it perfect but this time it felt very intimate, like a private session, like an performance from your "KEIKO’s Room" series *laughs*. It was almost like you were singing in a tiny room, I wonder if you feel the same way? KEIKO: There were times in the past when I wanted to convey such a feeling but I couldn't. I think I am able to do this now because of the experience I have gained, I would like to continue slowly adding nuances like that to my singing. Kajiura: I remember asking once if you could sing “Kaze no Machi he” in the same natural manner as you originally did. Your answer back then was that you could no longer sing it naturally like that but your singing in "Beginning" is proof that you can definitely do it. I feel like that "more personal singing style" is similar to the one you use in your album " dew". There are some songs that are quite strong and powerful but the ballads come across as very natural, I really like the feeling they are conveying. KEIKO: I made this solo album around the same time Yuki Kajiura LIVE vol.#16 was taking place. I think it contains a lot of powerful pieces like “Hoseki”, some bewitching pieces and also songs that are similar to “Beginning”, occasionally it sounds like when I am harmonising with Kao-chan. Many different vocalisation styles were used in the production of the album.

ー So it’s a good thing you did both at the same time?

KEIKO: Absolutely! After all, singing in front of an audience is quite different from singing in a recording studio, so I feel that both experiences had a positive effect on each other. Kajiura: I loved the singing styles you went for and I thought there were a lot of beautiful melodies in the album. “Tori Ame” in particular is such a stand-out piece for me, it really is a good song. KEIKO: Thank you *laughs* I am so happy to hear this.

ー Did you have a concept for the album？

KEIKO: This time, I wanted to make an album that you could casually listen to in your daily life rather than having to pay close attention to all the details. That’s why there may be many songs that feel calm. I tried a few different singing styles such as recitative or restrictive techniques. Kajiura: There are a lot of quiet songs but they are not at all plain or subdued because they are shining brightly. In terms of tension I feel like it is maintained throughout the album, I honestly thought it was beautiful. There is a shimmering radiance running through the entire album and I couldn’t help but wonder if that is what “dew” is referring to *laughs*. KEIKO: That’s “dew” indeed *laughs*. “dew” can mean "drop" or "fresh". During the summer when I was working on the album, I had many opportunities to come into contact with water, the sea, rain, and so on, so this year's me kinda reflected those feelings which in turn inspired the album. I have always liked warm and comforting songs. For example, I absolutely adore Kalafina's "Haru wo Matsu". I feel like I've added more songs like that this time around. Kajiura: How do you feel when an album is completed now that you are a solo artist? KEIKO: This time, I decided to shoot music videos for 9 new songs since I wanted everyone to enjoy a video alongside the song. When we were all done, my team and I felt a strong sense of accomplishment, it was amazing. At the time of the 1st album "Lantana", it felt like I was just trying to put together a few songs that would suit me but this time around it really felt like we had made a proper album, it was great. Kajiura: The overall flow is solid and the album feels strong. KEIKO: Right now, I'd rather use songs that express a part of my daily life or my state of mind. I have always been the type that is easily influenced by others, I like talking to various people to get different perspectives so I think this album contains a lot of inspiration. As a solo artist, I want to incorporate the stimuli I receive in my activities. I think that this album realistically expresses myself.

ー Some songs are written by yourself?

KEIKO: This time, I wrote the lyrics for four songs, "Tori Ame," "Latté," "Hachigatsu no Sora," and "Kimi ga Nemuru kara." I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to write the lyrics for "Hachigatsu no Sora" but after I went to see the sea the lyrics flowed smoothly. The melody of "Latté" feels neither hot nor cold so for some reason when I was thinking of natural lyrics, I kept thinking of drinking latté *laughs*. All the lyrics were really interesting, I was happy to be able to make music that expresses my personality so well.

ー I thought it was an album that you would want to listen to repeatedly with its captivating melodies and consistent feel.

Kajiura: After listening to the last song you really want to press the repeat button. I felt the sound and atmosphere were good and I wanted to keep listening. KEIKO: I hope everyone can also enjoy the 9 music videos we shot. In particular, "Revolution" was filmed in a magnificent location so when we were done, I was deeply moved. Kajiura: I think it’s nice to have so many music videos. KEIKO: I attempted something new but I honestly enjoyed the video production. It was pretty much self-produced, I also did the hair and make-up myself. I tried my best to stick to my own style while also making it fit the image of the song. Also, this time I worked with team of very young people, I was impressed by everyone's way of thinking and their footwork *laughs*. Their motivation was inspiring so we all made those videos with a lot of passion, it was a refreshing experience.

ーI am sure you are looking forward to everyone’s reaction to the album.

KEIKO: I'm really excited! Kajiura: There are so many great songs on this album so I'm sure everyone will be happy. Listeners are satisfied when the music is intriguing and poignant. KEIKO: I hope everyone will like it. I will continue to do my best to make good music for as long as possible.

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andypantsx3 · 3 years

Text

say the word and you know i’ll follow

pairing: Todoroki Shouto / Reader

status: complete

length: 3,262 words

summary: While moving in with Shouto, you get caught up reliving the scene of his confession. Quite literally.

(A smutty oneshot sequel to my fic if i could keep cool.)

tags: romance, reader-insert, fluff, smut

warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut, cunnilingus, light bondage

notes: Also cross-posted on my AO3! The manga really has me all in my Todo feels rn but I don't wanna write a whole other fic before I finish the Hawks one, so please have this fluffy smutty one shot as a compromise. It likely won’t make sense unless you’ve read if i could keep cool first, so please check it out if you have the time!

It was sweltering when you stepped outside to make your way to Shouto’s apartment.

A thin film of sweat immediately began to build wherever your skin pressed against the box you carried, and the sun beat down furiously on the crown of your head. You instantly started to second guess your choice to take the train, wondering how dumb of a move it had been to decline an alternative means of transit. It was going to be like being packed into a sardine can and roasted over a hot stove.

Shouto had offered to send an agency car, but there were only so many more times you were going to make the trip from your crumbling student apartment to his place, and you had wanted to make the most of it. You didn’t even really need to bring boxes over just yet--as Shouto had hired a moving company to take care of everything next week--but you didn’t want to lose anything that was inside this one. This one held all your most treasured items--keepsakes from your friends, a pressed white tulip, and all the gifts Shouto had ever given you (minus, of course, the vegetables).

Steeling yourself for an uncomfortable twenty minutes, you set off towards the station, weaving through the tired crowds of people who looked just as sun-weary as you. Thankfully, with a hat over your face and a box you could shift to obscure your features, very few people seemed to recognize you as you did so.

A lot of the media attention surrounding your mishap a year ago had died down, and you had been good about keeping your relationship mostly private, so you weren’t exactly a household name to most people. But there were enough twitter-savvy teens and meme-literate college students that you were sometimes recognized as you went about your daily life.

This time, you were only eyed curiously by one pair of teenage girls as they bundled into the train car across from you, but they didn’t say anything to you, didn’t ask you to reenact the most embarrassing five seconds of your entire life into their phones, as many often did. The box hid you from the rest of the train car, and no one else seemed to take interest in your presence.

After exiting the train at downtown, you made it to Shouto’s building in record time, all but rocket-fueled by your desire to get out of the hot sun. The security team in the lobby of his building gave you friendly nods as you passed, one of them graciously pressing the button for the elevator so you didn’t have to fumble around your box.

You thanked her, making your way into the elevator and elbowing the button for Shouto’s floor. The elevator was even cooler than the lobby, and you shivered in delight as the frigid chill of air conditioning washed over you. God, this building was so fucking nice compared to yours. You were going to be spoiled as fuck once you lived here.

You made it to Shouto’s floor without incident, though digging in your bag for your keys was impossible at the moment, so you knocked on his door as firmly as you could manage with the box still balanced in your arms.

There were a few seconds of silence. Then, the door swung open and Shouto stood there, grinning at you.

His hair still looked a little damp from a recent shower, and he was wearing a dark button up over a soft tee shirt and a pair of dark jeans. He looked unbearably good, as boyishly handsome as ever, and your heart gave an embarrassing little stutter, like it always did whenever you saw him. You suspected it was always going to be like that, no matter how long the two of you had been dating.

Shouto’s eyebrows went up as he considered the box in your arms. That heterochromatic gaze picked over you curiously, expression going carefully blank, like it typically did when he was up to some mischief. And then, after a long moment, he spoke.

“You’re not wearing the scarf,” he said, sounding upset.

You stared up at him, feeling your brow wrinkle. The scarf? It was fucking summer, and the scarf was neatly tucked away in the box you were holding. It was literally boiling hot just outside the well-air conditioned hallways of his building. Why on earth did he think you would be wearing--

You inhaled a little sharply when the answer hit you.

The scarf.

The scarf was the first thing he had mentioned the day he had finally confessed to you. Well, after you had confessed first, really, on national television earlier that week, that you were thirsty as hell for him and were also really bad at picking up subtle clues. Or overt clues. Or any clues, honestly.

But now you were standing in his hallway with a box again, and he was clearly remembering what had happened the last time you had done so.

You wracked your brain for what you had said to him in reply that day, trying to hone in on the words past the sudden swell of embarrassment.

“Uh, it’s in here,” you finally replied, gesturing to the box.

That grey and blue gaze dropped to the parcel in your arms, then flickered up to your face. You pushed the box at him, the way you had the day he’d confessed, feeling just as squirmish as you had then.

What else had you said to him? Something very watery and over dramatic, likely. Something like...

“It’s all, um, there--if you wanted to check,” you said. “Except for the vegetables obviously. But I can pay you back, if you give me a couple months.”

Shouto was clearly suppressing a smirk as he feigned curiosity. “Pay me….what?”

You suppressed your own absurd laugh, wondering how far down mortifying memory lane he wanted to go.

“I also wrote down a recommendation for a new cleaning lady, if you want,” you said, patting the top of the box. “It’s in there. Her name’s Mika, she’s super nice. And I can message you or your manager when I have the money. Just let me know which one you’d prefer. Or I can have Mika drop it off.”

Shouto gripped the box, then, long, elegant fingers pulling back the flaps for him to peer inside. He looked absolutely delighted to find the scarf actually within. In one fluid movement, he pulled the scarf out, depositing the box behind him, and turned back to grab your sleeve, pulling you quickly into the apartment with him.

“Okay, what are you doing with the scarf this time?” you laughed, breaking character.

One white eyebrow went up as Shouto gripped your wrist firmly, eyeing you closely as he pulled off your baseball cap.

“Mm,” he hummed absently in his deep tone. “Something I should have done the first time.” He caught your other wrist, pressing it into the sinfully soft fabric of your favorite accessory.

You looked at him, bewildered, feeling your mouth twist into a slight frown. You rather liked the way things had gone the first time around, considering that you had ended up with a boyfriend at the end of it all. What was his bone to pick with the first time around?

“Uh, if I’m recalling correctly, the first time went great,” you said to him. “Like, really really great. Christening your countertops several different times great.”

There was a flash of white teeth as Shouto grinned.

“Ah, but I missed an opportunity,” he said. A soft sensation slid over your other wrist, and you looked down in confusion.

Then it hit you what he was up to, and your face instantly went up in flames.

A firm tug had your wrists knotted together, and Shouto smirked down at you, tugging you closer by the silky fabric of your scarf. Your stomach swooped at the intent look in his eye.

“I had been upset you weren’t wearing the scarf,” he said. “But there was an easy way to fix that.”

You swallowed heavily, your tongue feeling strangely thick. Your brain was suddenly, but predictably, very very empty.

“Y-yeah. But technically you, um. You did fix it,” you babbled helplessly, limbs growing shivery with static as Shouto pressed closer. He was so warm, and he was so stupidly handsome.

“I’ve, uh, worn it a lot since,” you managed.

Shouto considered you quietly, a familiar, wry little smile pressing at the corner of his mouth.

Before you’d started dating, you’d been confused as hell by that expression, suspecting it meant he was bewildered by your very existence but was too polite to say so. After just over a year together, however, you had learned that was just what his face did when he thought you were being unreasonably appealing. Which, mystifyingly, was mostly when the working part of your brain disconnected from your mouth.

You scrounged around for other coherent words, thoughts thick and sluggish, like you were thinking through pudding.

Shouto, however, was merciful, putting an end to your suffering by leaning down and taking your mouth with his.

All the coherent thought you’d managed to dredge up melted away like frost under the morning sun. You pressed yourself closer to him, leaning up to give him better access to your mouth. Shouto kissed you as stupid as he always did before a hot hand came up to cup your face, thumb sliding over your cheek affectionately.

“It seems I’ve got you in the scarf as I had wanted,” Shouto said quietly, once he let you up for air. “But now I find that the scarf is all I want you in.”

You opened your mouth to respond, though what you might have said was as much a mystery to you as anyone. But all that managed to come out was a choked, breathy little noise.

Shouto laughed.

Then there were large hands on your waist, and the next thing you knew, you were staring down at the wood paneling of Shouto’s floor as it moved underneath you. Shouto adjusted you over his shoulder briefly, and then he was charting a brisk course to his bedroom, depositing you like an errant pillow back onto his sheets.

Your cheeks burned as he crawled over you, gaze hot and searching.

“Are you alright, love?” he asked.

You nodded vehemently, eyes pulled to the little flat sliver of his abs where his shirt had ridden up.

“Good, yeah, I’m so good,” you managed to garble out. You were going to be so embarrassed about this later, but as usual when it came to him, you really couldn’t help it. If you’d learned anything in the year you’d been together, it was that you would always have the world’s fattest crush on Shouto Todoroki.

Strong fingers came up to grasp your chin, tipping your face up for another searing kiss. You managed to loop your bound arms over the back of Shouto’s neck, tangling your fingers in his soft hair and pulling him down to you more firmly.

Shouto flattened himself against you, so that you could feel every strong plane of his body, every hard muscle. You shuddered, and you could feel Shouto smirk against your mouth.

“Like that, do you?” he asked, hands pulling at your shirt. You wiggled so that he could pull it out from under you, sliding it up to rest just below the scarf. In the next second he’d also gotten you out of your pants, so that you were mostly bare to him in the cool apartment air.

Shouto looked you over for a moment, looking like he still couldn’t believe you existed. “Having you over the countertops was something that I wouldn’t change. Something that I won’t change, once you move in.”

Your face went hot and you squirmed underneath him.

“However,” he said softly, “I believe I would have liked to have been more deliberate with you. Taken my time with you,” he paused. “Perhaps...I might have made you come once for every photo of me on your twitter.”

The tips of your ears went hot. Jesus Christ, he couldn’t be serious.

You had deleted that twitter over a year ago, and though he’d apparently been allowed access to the contents by his manager (rude) there was absolutely no way he could remember how many pictures of him you’d retweeted. You’d been the one doing the retweeting, and even you didn’t remember, though you thought the number was probably embarrassingly high.

“There was like, one,” you squeaked out.

Shouto’s smile went dark and he leaned over you, his perfect, infuriating mouth so close he might have kissed you again.

“Thirteen,” he said, mouth brushing yours as he spoke. “There were thirteen photos of me on your twitter. All while you tried so hard to act like you didn’t want me, that you wanted to be just friends.”

“Hey, you said you wanted to be my friend,” you protested. You jerked when his hand slid up your side to cup a breast, thumb slipping under the band of your bra.

“You weren’t accepting my gifts,” he said, fingers grazing your nipple. You bit down on an embarrassing noise, letting out a sharp breath. “How else was I to make you take them?”

You opened your mouth to respond but Shouto made another pass over your nipple, and a moan escaped you instead.

“That’s right, love,” he said encouragingly. “Now I’m going to make you give me something in return. Thirteen somethings, in fact.”

He peeled down the cup of your bra, fastening his hot mouth over your breast. You whined, twitching when he flattened his tongue, dragging it slowly over the point of your nipple. A strong arm came up to press your hands down over your head.

“Shouto, thirteen is insane,” you panted.

He paid you no mind, instead swirling his tongue in a way that made your vision blur.

A tugging at your wrists made you look up, in time to see Shouto one-handedly looping the long end of the scarf through the slats on his headboard and pulling tight. Your whole body clenched up at the implication.

The slide of fabric over your breasts told you that Shouto had also managed to get your bra up, and hot mouth closed over your other nipple, long fingers carefully plucking at the other. “We have all weekend, love. Thirteen is ambitious but quite possible.”

You made a weak noise of acknowledgement, hips shifting forward against his stomach.

Shouto laughed, hot breath ghosting over your breast, and then he was crawling down your torso, hands grasping your underwear. He pulled it down slowly, torturously, until he managed to get it off you, then pulled your knee over his shoulder.

You whimpered, feeling like you might actually pass out from how hot he looked, one thigh thrown carelessly over his shoulder, gaze intent, staring down at you like a starving man looking at a hot meal.

You squirmed, trying to pull your arms down to get your hands on him, but the scarf held fast, pulling more firmly over your wrists.

“Shouto, please,” you said, though whether you were begging for him to touch you or to let you go, even you didn’t know.

Shouto seemed to take it as permission. Those two-toned eyes passed over you hotly, and then he was leaning down, biting down gently on the inside of your thigh. You jerked violently, but he held you in place, mouth trailing slowly, slowly down to where you wanted him.

You thought you might actually black out before he got where he was going.

“I can’t believe I ever told you you were unwelcome in my apartment,” he murmured, sucking a slow bruise into the skin at the crease of your thigh. “Once you move in, I’m never going to let you leave it.”

“Oh my god,” you said.

Shouto’s tongue flicked out, catching the edge of your sex, and you tried not to choke on air.

Then, finally, he moved, fastening his mouth over you, exactly where you wanted him. All reason completely left you.

After that, everything was an unbearable flurry of feeling--a soft tongue swirling over you, the tickle of his bangs on your stomach, the press of broad shoulders between your knees. There was the rasp of his sheets between your shoulder blades, the slow, deliberate press of two fingers inside of you, a firm grip on your thigh, fingers digging in tightly.

You could feel every point of connection with him, every minute movement of his mouth over you, and the sensation built up into something so horribly, terribly good. You were unable to do anything but writhe and pant underneath him, babbling something that sounded like it might be an approximation of his name.

Shouto hummed and sucked softly, those long fingers curling inside you. He finally hit a spot that made you see stars, and you practically lifted off the bed, back bowing. Shouto licked you through it, tongue curling expertly around your clit while you sobbed out his name, only slowing when your body went slack, collapsing back into his sheets.

When you could see straight once more, you realized he was staring up at you, that wry smile curling the corner of his mouth again.

You fought down a blush, feeling an embarrassed grin pull at the corner of your own mouth.

“You’re unreal,” you said. “I can’t believe I’m going to get to have you all the time.”

Shouto pressed a short kiss to the skin of your hip. “You already have me all the time.”

You flapped a hand in its bindings. “You know what I mean. I can’t believe we’re going to live together.”

His fingers slid gently over the back of your thigh. “I’d have had you in here sooner, if you hadn’t insisted on graduating first.”

You laughed. He was always so very straightforward about whatever he wanted.

He had been making very unsubtle noises about living together only a few months into your relationship, but you’d insisted that you wait at least a year. He’d grown up with more conservative mores, having been raised a rich boy, and taking things quickly once he knew he was serious about you seemed to be the style of things. But you, despite your frankly unreasonable thirst for your own boyfriend, knew the value of taking things just a little bit slower.

So you’d waited a year, just to be prudent, though you’d known all along how things would end up.

And now he finally had his way.

“I’m all yours now,” you promised, laughing. “Soon you’ll be sick of me hogging the bed, and leaving books everywhere, and getting so blackout at the farmer’s market that we don’t have room for all the vegetables.”

“Ah, you’re using me for vegetable access,” he accused, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the smile he was attempting to smother into your thigh.

“A girl’s gotta have her priorities,” you grinned.

Something lit up in Shouto’s gaze again, and he shifted up against your thigh to lean over you more fully. His fingers gripped the back of your knee tightly.

“I'll make you pay for that,” he promised darkly. “Twelve more times.”

You shivered as he took your mouth again, fingers sliding back between your thighs with obvious intent.

And then you really did. You paid for it.

Twelve more times.

#todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #shouto todoroki #bnha fanfic #bnha #smut #fluff #bnha x reader

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genderfluid-insomniac · 3 years

Text

"Predator and Prey" ~ Hawks x reader x Mirko

So again with smut it's hard to do gender neutral language but I tried my best and this was pure self indulgence. I do want to do a second part but it might be a while and either way I had a bit too much fun writing this

How you got into this situation you'll never know. Here you were working your shift at a local bakery down the street and you were getting ready to close when your boss had left to take out the trash, leaving you to lock the register and clean the cases that had previously been filled with baked goods.

You had wiped the tables off and wrapped up a few treats for yourself and your roommate when you heard the door open. You didn’t turn around and continued to clean the counter,

“Hello, I’m sorry but we’re closed right now. You can come back tomorrow if you want to buy something-”

“Yeah, no. You’re going to hand over whatever is in the register and be nice and quiet.” You jerked your head up to see a person wearing a hood and a black mask holding a loaded gun pointed at you. You slowly stopped cleaning and froze,

“Hey, the register is locked, I don’t have the key. My manager-” They cut you off, “Bullshit! I just saw you closing it minutes ago. Now hand it over.” Well, so much for lying. Your manager was probably locking the back door and should be getting back now but it could make matters worse. considering you were quirkless, you decided it’d be better to comply than risk getting shot.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll get the key. Just don’t shoot.

Even if you could defend yourself, it was useless when the person had a gun And it wouldn’t help to purposely get hurt anyways. You went to get the key and clicked a button under the counter, signaling a distress call to the police station and nearby agencies. Hopefully, you could stall long enough for them to get here.

Inserting the key into the lock and hearing the click, slowly opening the register and hearing the criminal yell at you for taking so long. You threw him a glare and put the money on the counter for him to grab, carefully glancing outside and the hallway leading towards the back door.

“So, any chance that I can get you to stop this?”

“What do you have a death wish? What’s with the small talk, bitch?” I mean you didn’t really have many life preservation skills, so that was a maybe. “Honestly, I have no idea, just curious I guess if these are my last moments.”

They raised an eyebrow at you and just shook their head, seemingly not bothering to respond to your last comment. You saw a blur of red and someone shouted ‘Duck!’ It probably should have given you a warning sign that your first thought after you crouched was ‘quack’ but I guess it didn’t matter.

You heard some yells and grunts, objects falling onto the wooden floor. A couple noisy moments passed when it was quiet and you peaked your head up to see what was going on. Seeing a pair of big vermillion wings take up your vision, blinking to see the light turn back on and fully getting up.

“Oh hey, kid. Everything’s all good. You okay?” The winged hero caught your eyes and walked over to you, leaving the intruder to the others behind him. His eyes looking over you for injuries and meeting your eyes, a smile plastered on his face.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just a bit shaken up.” Looking around the shop to check the damage, “I’m surprised how quickly someone got here. I was expecting to have to stall a bit longer,”

Laughing halfheartedly at your poor excuse for small talk and trying to recover what was left of your mind to come up with a sentence. Hawks stood in front of you in his usual attire, looking very attractive, still occasionally glancing around the room but keeping his gaze on you.

“You know what they say, I’m too fast for my own good. You still look as stunning as you were before, so I say you’re all good. Are you the only one working?”He said winking and smirked seeing your face flush softly.

You shook your head and tried to ignore the flirty comment he made, explaining to him that you were working with your manager and she left to take out the trash.

Noticing her talk to an officer by the front door and worriedly making hand movements. You both continued to chat and make small talk, the blonde hero throwing in small flirts or compliments here and there.

Having no idea why Hawks was flirting with you of all people but you returned it every so often, knowing many others would dream of being in this situation. Well, not the robbery part of it but the after effects. A loud voice interrupted the two of you, and the hero put her arms on his shoulders.

“Hey, I heard there was some commotion over here, so I decided to hop over. Oh-” The bunny hero spotted you and smiled, “Hi cutie. Were you going to keep this one all to yourself, birdy?”

She turned to Hawks and raised an eyebrow, expecting an answer. Her red copper eyes flicking to yours, lifting her arm and stepping over to you. An arm wrapping itself around your waist and pulling you into her. Woah that escalated quickly.

“Well, I was here first, Miruko and I think you interrupted something. Me and this beautiful worker here were having such a pleasant conversation until you rudely barged in. Don’t you think, baby bird?”

Well. This had turned into a dangerous territory and you weren't sure if you liked where this was going. You went to respond, when Hawks cupped your face and brushed his thumbs over your bottom lip, preventing you from saying anything. He smirked and glanced up to Miruko, still having an arm wrapped around your waist, as if daring her to continue.

Your mind was racing, you could see some people still in the shop and would rather have no one see the two pros having a competition over who could make you blush harder. As much as you loved what was happening to you, you still had to focus on something and was dragged back to earth when the white-haired woman tightened her grip.

Tilting her face towards hers and pushing his hand away, sweetly staring at you. She leaned in and pecked your cheek, her soft lips meeting your skin for just a moment. A part of you wanted it to be more but you were too flustered to respond,

“Aw look, I broke them. You okay, darling?” She angled her head to the side cutely and laughed. “I’m sure I can put them back together, after all it was your fault.” Hawks peeped in and playfully glared at the other, while her arm wove around your waist as well. You were being pulled from both slides and you weren’t really complaining, deciding to speak up so this could continue not around others.

“U-um, as much as I love this and I do. Why don’t we do this away from everyone else? After I close, I promise we can continue this wherever you want. Yes?”

They both looked at each other then back to you, “Are you afraid of others seeing us fight over you? Because I’m sure we could make such a scene, don’t you think, Hawks~?”

“I know we could, Miruko~” He whispered back and tilted your head, kissing you quickly. You made a noise of surprise and returned it just as he pulled away. Being turned around and kissed by the red eyed hero behind you, breaking away for air at the last second. Humming,

“I do think getting out of here is a good idea. Wouldn’t want someone stealing you from us,” They both loosened their grips on you, letting you go and waving at you to close up with your boss. Walking over to talk to you and reassuring her that you’re okay, grabbing her shoulders when she started to look over you inquisitively.

“I promise that I’m okay. Now, I can clean up if you want?”

“No, No. I can handle that. Why don’t you get home safely and I can finish up here. Some officers are going to stay here to collect more details so I can’t close up until they're done.”

“Oh okay, thanks! What’s going to happen tomorrow?” It would be nice if you had a day off but you doubted it. As nice as your boss was, you still had to work to pay rent.

“We’ll have to start late, but if you don’t mind coming in around 1 tomorrow afternoon that would be very helpful. No one else is scheduled tomorrow except for the two of us and everyone else is on a vacation or it’s sunday coincidently.”

You agreed and left to get your stuff from the back after confirming with you, glancing back once more at the two pros still in the shop chatting with each other. If someone told you that both Hawks and Miruko would flirt with them after they were rescued from a life threatening robbery, you would’ve called them crazy.

I mean it’s hard to believe that a slow Saturday morning turned out so chaotic and eventful, you thought as you picked up your small bag holding all your belongings.You played with your keys as you thought over whether or not they were both serious and also trying to push the anxious thoughts away that ate away at your mind. If they weren’t serious then they could have just left you after you got your stuff or they wouldn’t have continued to flirt with you.

If both of the heros were still there when you got back then you could be sure that they weren't playing around. If they were gone then you could at least treasure the time you did have with them. Walking back you spotted the two of them leaning against the wall with a bored expression on their faces but lit up once they spotted you.

Hawks and Miruko were still there, guess that means they weren’t kidding. You met them at the door, “So should we get going?” Smiling, they both nodded and had some form of contact with you,, the rabbit hero holding your waist and the winged hero holding your hand, swinging it lightly.

The night air was cool and blew at your face, fluttering Hawk’s big crimson wings and Miruko’slong silver hair causing her ears to twitch slightly. You all walked in peaceful silence as you looked up at the stars, aware of both of them gazing at you in adoration. Laughing you, spoke up,

“I know you guys are staring but could you make it anymore more obvious?” Hawks lifted your intertwined hands and kissed the back of them.

“What can I say, I can’t help but look at the beauty in front of me. You’re just so god damn attractive baby bird. The way you look so cute just taking in the stars and not to mention how calmly you can handle stressful situations.” You chuckled humorlessly,

“I can tell you right now, I was so anxious there. Normally I’m a mess with that stuff but knowing someone else was there helped a bit to mask it. I’m not as strong as you think-”

He cut you off and stopped walking, facing you with a serious expression, “Fuck what you say because you made it out of there with little damage to yourself or others. I know it may not seem like it but you’re so strong for just making it through the day if what you say is true.”

Miruko chimed in, “He’s right for once,” she laughed playfully, “Even though you think your faults make you weak, they don’t. You have to overcome obstacles that others don’t have to and I know it’s tiring but you are so brave for just getting through each day. And this isn’t some hero shit I’m saying,”

You smiled and kissed her cheek, thanking both of them for cheering you up, “Hey- where’s my thank you. I’m sad you forgot about me, kid.” Hawks pouted, brightening up when you gave him a peck and continued to walk to your apartment.

When the three of you arrived, you hugged the heroes and kissed their lips quickly. You got pulled back when you started to walk up the stairs, being captured in a passionate kiss with Hawks. Returning the kiss and tilting your head to deepen it. His warm soft lips colliding against yours and bringing a hand up to the back of your neck.

The blonde bird rubbing circles on your hip with the other hand, breaking apart and running his thumbs against your bottom lip, “Now, we can say goodbye. For now obviously.” You blushed and turned to Miruko, giving her a passionate kiss as well. Her silver hair brushing your legs as her tongue grazed your bottom lip, leaning back just as you were going to allow her access.

“Next time, we can pick up where we left off cutie~” She said as they handed you bits of folded paper. Smiling back at them as they left, a gust of wind being forced your way as Hawks took off into the dark sky and Miruko running off in the opposite direction.

You stood there for a few seconds recalling everything that had happened in the last 2 hours. Blinking and shaking yourself out of zoning out, you went up the stairs and used your key to get. Running up to your shared apartment and slamming open the door, panting,

“River! You’ll never guess what just happened to me!”

After explaining everything to your roommate, River, what had happened last night and having a small moment of shock with them that you indeed flirted with two stunningly attractive pro heroes, turning in for the night after all the excitement. You did have another shift the next day but at least you could sleep in.

Part of you was curious if you’d see them again and you hoped you would, but you did understand that they were probably very busy and had their hands full. Even still, you couldn't help but imagine what your life would be like if they were in it.

Surprise visits during their patrols or romantic date nights on their days off. Your mind could go on and on about the possibilities and your memories of tonight only fueled it. Eventually, letting sleep consume you and leading you off to a wonderful dream, only to be abruptly woken up hours later by your alarm signalling that you had to get ready.

Getting out of bed, you spot the small bits of paper they gave you last night and pick up your phone to text them a good morning as it couldn't hurt.

Y/N: Good morning you guys! <3

Short and simple, adding a heart for good measures. You headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day, brushing your teeth and running your fingers through your hair to get out the bed head. Deciding that you were good and slipping on your work uniform because it was comfortable and pointless since you’d be going to work soon.

“Morning River! How’d you sleep?” You speak to them as you walk into the kitchen and pour yourself a cup of lukewarm coffee, making another for them. They groan a bit then rest their head on their folded arms,

“Could have been better. Just some insomnia and binge watching keeping me up. How about you?” Taking the coffee and drinking a bit, sighing contently at the caffeine buzz it gave them. You sat down next to them with some toast in hand, taking a bite and swallowing before answering River.

“Good, besides some scenarios that popped into my mind after last night.” They laughed as you hit their arm, “Hey! Stop laughing! It’s not my fault that it's the most significant thing that happened this week-”

“No-no, I’m not laughing at you but at how you kept thinking of what might happen in the future~” they said in a playful tone, stealing your toast for a bite causing you to elbow them and take it back. “I’m just shocked that it happened to me of all people. I’m not complaining whatsoever, I loved every second of it. it's the most attention I’ve had on myself for a while,”

You sipped your coffee again and continued to talk with your roommate about today and what it could hold. River had a job as a teacher’s assistant but since it was the weekend they had work off, both of you helping out with the rent. Taking a look at the clock and and seeing it was 11am,

“I’m heading out to the store to get more milk and coffee since we’re pretty much out of it and I don’t want to deal with your ass without coffee.” River stuck their tongue out playfully and you did it back to them, slipping on a light jacket and heading out.

Stepping out onto the streets it was mildly busy, certain pros were patrolling and people were chatting as they walked down the sidewalk. You put in your earbuds and put on a random song as you made your way to the nearest convenience store, feeling your phone buzz with texts.

Hawks: Morning dove <3

Miruko: Morning <3

Hawks: r u free tonight? Say around 8ish?

Miruko: We’d love to hang out with you again, baby.

You blushed at their greetings and went to text back yes, looking back up for the store across the street. Taking a quick look both ways before jogging across and being greeted by the cool air of the shop, buying some coffee and milk.

After you got what you needed, you headed back to your apartment when your phone buzzed again and picked it up thinking it was them again. Miruko’s contact popped up, surprising you a bit but answering it nonetheless and putting your earbuds in for privacy. You heard her smooth voice speak,

“Hey Y/N. How are you? I’m so excited to see you again tonight~” She purred.

“I-I’m good. I can’t wait to see you too! How are you doing?” “Better now that I’m talking to you, cutie,”

Shaking your head to focus so you didn't walk into anything while you talked to Miruko, “God, you two never fail to fluster me,” You laugh, “I hope you didn’t ignore work just to call me. I wouldn't want to be the cause of any trouble-”

You hear her chuckle over the phone, “No, I’m not. Just doing boring paperwork, the uneventful side of being a hero that you don’t see. Don’t worry, I can easily listen to your sweet voice while doing something else.”

Almost at your apartment, you kept walking past in favor of talking with Miruko more and starting your day with a pleasant start.

“You know, I can’t wait till we are alone with you. I get to have you all to myself, taste those soft lips again and see that blush on your cheeks just from my praise, my voice.”

Shit. It suddenly got a bit warmer, a heavy blush filling your face and letting out a noise of surprise. Wasn’t she worried about someone hearing her? At least you had headphones in, you can’t imagine the embassament if you had answered this in your apartment. The amount of teasing you’d get from River about how ‘they’re practically all over you and how lucky you are’.

“Oh, what was that? Do you like all my praise I’m giving you? Get a look at that wonder body of yours, worshipping all your curves and don’t even get me started on those plush thighs of yours. Perfect for marking with hickeys and bites, just screaming that you’re all mine.”

You were thinking of sitting down somewhere so you wouldn’t drop anything or bump into anyone because of how hazed you were. Trying to push your lewd intrusive thoughts back as they crept up, and focus on walking like a normal person.

“How I would love to see your face right now, I’m sure it’s bright red. Unfortunately, I’ll have to save the rest for tonight. Duty calls. Later, darling~” You stutter out a goodbye before hearing her hangup and it’s safe to say you walk back to your apartment in silence. Desperate to calm your blush down so River doesn’t ambush you with questions you don’t have the answers to.

Unlocking your door and putting the groceries away, calling to River that you were going to make lunch then head to work. Making yourself a quick sandwich and scrolling through your phone while you wait for it to be done. You went onto social media and coincidently saw some photos from a shoot that some pros must have done.

You spot Hawks striking a pose, in casual clothes, wearing a white shirt under a black bomber jacket, navy jeans with a couple tears in them, and a silver feather charm on a chain. Smiling at the camera, no doubt charming every person who saw the post, including you. Scrolling down to see a picture of Miruko, also in much formal clothes, smirking at the camera while playing with a collar of the navy suit she was wearing.

To say that they were both attractive was an understatement and it seemed unfair because they were both so gorgeous, but you got a little confidence boost. Knowing that they flirted with you and only with you, and were interested in you enough to have a date with you. At least you thought it was a date.

You weren’t sure if it was but with Miruko’s words in your head still, calling it a date seemed like an understatement too because how… flirty she was. Scenarios again filling your head, you could only imagine what Hawks would be like since they both seemed so competitive and trying to one up each other by flustering you as much as possible.

The timer on your phone rang and you ate your sandwich, luckily being distracted by your roommate making lunch as well while chatting with you about some drama that happened to the teachers where they worked. Enjoying the calm and fun moment that didn’t have you blushing on cloud nine, even though it felt amazing.

=“Alright, I’m headed off to work. See ya River!” They waved goodbye and took a bite of their sandwich. You locked the door behind you as you headed off to work, seeing the streets were busier now and different heroes were on patrol, catching sights of what must be students working with pros. The sun was beating down on you and everyone else and you were grateful to work in a place with AC.

You called out to your boss as you walked in and returned her greeting, heading to the back to put your stuff away. Getting behind the counter and taking the next order as she was making the previous customers’, people coming in and out occasionally sitting down with their food or drink. You didn’t blame them with how hot it was today and continued making drinks and ringing people up.

An hour passed as the shop grew quiet and you and your manager were talking quietly about last night and how clean up went, when the bell rang signalling someone came in. You went back to the register, calling to your manager that you got this one. Making your usual greeting but halting when you saw who it was,

“Hello, welcome to Delights Cafe! What can I get you- Hawks?” You nervously laughed under your breath, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be working or patrolling right now?”

The red winged hero smiled, “Aw I’m so happy you remembered me. I was just on my break when I was passing by and saw this place again, thinking I should take my break here.” You smiled back and shook your head in disbelief, it couldn’t be a coincidence that you heard from both of them today.

“Of course, well what can I get you, Hawks?” he scanned the menu behind you, “Everything here sounds so good, but I don’t suppose you’re on the menu?” You couldn't help but laugh at the lame pick up line and attempt to stifle your laugh to remain professional.

“That was so cheesy, but no, I’m not on the menu.” You responded, still containing your laughter as he winked at you again “Damn. Guess I’ll have to wait until tonight~” Hawks got closer and leant over the counter as you anxiously scanned the shop to make sure no one was looking. The cafe was practically empty and your boss was busy making food for another customer, not paying any attention to you.

“I heard that rabbit got some time alone with you and I can’t say I’m too happy with that. As far as she’s concerned, you’re mine. Those beautiful hips and gorgeous eyes luring me in, how you taste so good when I kiss you. I love how flustered you get when I tease you, just a few words and you’re practically all red by my hands.” Shit. What’d you say! They’re competitive and you were the prize that came with bragging rights.

Even with that small praise, you were already blushing quite a bit and it only made the hero’s smirk widen, which made your mind go even more hazy. You went to say something but you couldn’t make a cohesive sentence,

“How did- How did you find out-” You were interrupted as he brought up something on his phone, showing you a series of texts.

Miruko: Hey birdy, guess who I got to spend some quality time with? I can’t wait to see them mewling out my mine and completely helpless over me.

Hawks: Like that would ever happen, you saw how flustered they were when I was giving them all that attention.

Miruko: Well safe to say that they’re mine now, bird brain.

Hawks: Guess I’ll have to even the odds.

Putting his phone back into his pocket, “Now you why I’m here. She may have got a moment with you this morning but she’s not here to stop me now.” He lowered his voice an octave and whispered, “I know you’d be moaning out my name with everything I want to do to you. How your thighs would squeeze me as I ate that delicious pussy of yours.”

“How you love me teasing you, edging you till you see stars and tasting all your juices as come undone under me.” Your cheeks burned as you met his gaze, those golden yellow eyes piercing you, and your mouth opened to say something but again nothing came out. How could he say something so lewd in public. In plain sight?!

“Hawks-” “The number 4 looks great! I’ll take that and an iced coffee.” The blonde quickly spoke in a happy go lucky tone like nothing happened while you shook your head, clearing your mind. It stunned you how quick he could change attitudes and cover everything up with just a smile. Nevertheless, you nodded and told him his total, giving him his receipt as he paid. You could feel his eyes on you as you made his order, tracking your every movement like ….well like a hawk.

You gave him his food and drink, thanking him for coming but not before receiving a kiss on the cheek seeing his wink and walking out the doors, flying off somewhere to eat. Standing there in somewhat of a shock at what just happened, again they managed to leave you speechless and flustered.

You could only imagine how tonight was going to be and you were counting down every hour till you saw them. Brushing off your thoughts and cleaning the counter, waiting for the next customer to order. Hours passed as people came and left, the afternoon turning into night as 6pm rolled around and your shift ended, helping your manager close the store.

Both of you made sure everything was locked up and secure so no one could break in. You said farewell to her and you basically ran to your apartment, overjoyed that it was almost 8. Running up the steps and throwing open the doors, not hearing the usual shout from River to not slam open the door. Everything was in its place and nothing was moved except for some dishes in the sink which they had probably left.

You put your bag down and took your jacket off, hanging it on a hook to the side of the closed door. A yellow sticky note on the counter caught your eye, and you walked over and picked it up reading it.

Hi, Y/N! One of my coworkers called me upset because of some rumors spreading about her through some shitty teachers and I went over to her place to work things out. Sorry, I didn’t tell you but I know you’ll find a way to have fun without me.

See ya later.

River.

You laughed softly and threw the note away, happy that you had the apartment to yourself tonight. Washing the remaining dishes and putting them in the cabinet, going to your room and cleaning it up. Searching for someone to wear other than your uniform and finding something cute to wear.

Preparing some food for you guys to eat, and turning the stove on, figuring pasta was good. Thoughts filled your head once again as the time got closer and closer to 8. You were in your head when someone knocked on your door, pulling you out of your head and you turned off the stove to go meet them.

Bright red wings and a pair of soft white ears greeted you, they both smiled at you walking in and shutting the door behind them. Miruko walked over, giving you a peck on the cheek, “Evening cutie. I missed this cute face of yours.”

Hawks came over after slipping off his jacket and captured your lips in a gentle kiss. “You look amazing as always.”

“You both look stunning, I can’t believe this is actually happening. I don’t know why you both are interested in me when you could easily go for someone else-”

“But we’re not and we chose you because you’re just so adorable and alluring to resist.” Miruko spoke as she wrapped an arm around your waist and cupped your jaw, kissing you passionately. Her soft lips pressing against yours and taking short breaths. She ran her tongue along your bottom lip and nipped it.

“Miruko-” “Rumi. Tonight it’s Rumi. I’m not a hero but someone enjoying their date with a cutie like you.” Nodding you smiled and reached up to touch her ears, feeling the soft white fur and silky white hair behind it. A feather brushed your cheek and turned your head over to Hawks.

“And we couldn’t just let a beauty like you be taken by someone else. Call me Keigo.” You buried your head in his chest and sighed, “Thank you Keigo. Why don’t we eat?”

He smirked and brought you closer toward him, tilting your head up, “Gladly. I’ve been waiting for this all day” Keigo got down on his knees and ran his hands over your hips, the sight below causing you to blush.

He hooked hands on the sides of your pants, glancing back up at you just to make sure you were okay with this (A/N:Cause we love consent and it's sexy) and slowly pulled them down once you nodded, humming as it got lower and lower.

Rumi mumbled something and pulled in for a kiss, passionately slamming her lips on yours and massaging your lips. She tilted your head up as you felt warm hands rub your thighs, placing kisses and bites all over them. He pushed you legs apart for a better position and put one leg over his shoulder, blowing some cold air on your clothed clit causing you too to whimper into the kiss.

“Damn. I can’t wait anymore.” Throwing away his self restraint and moving your panties down to your ankles, licking a slow lineup from the bottom to the top. Your moans were swallowed by Rumi taking the opportunity to push her tongue into your mouth, claiming your mouth as she explored every inch of it.

Letting you breath as she placed small kisses on your upper lip, but going back to kiss you and bite your lip. You felt light headed as Kiego ate you out, his tongue swirling around your bud and sucking your clit. Enjoying the lewd sounds you were making all because of him,

“Your pussy is so fucking delicious, I could eat it out night and day, baby bird.” You felt his warm breath fan your clit and blushed at his words, “Let me hear that beautiful voice of yours crying out for me.” Keigo spoke before he dove back in and thrust his tongue deeper, making you let out another loud moan. He laughed and continued to move his along your sensitive walls, sucking on your bud simultaneously.

Rumi broke the kiss and tilted your head to the side, “That was mine, Kiego. They clearly enjoy me much more.” She bit your neck as you cried out, “Rumi! Keigo! It feels so good. Please more,” A mewl escaped your mouth as Keigo bit your labia and you caught his gaze. His blonde wiry hair strewn about as your hand grabbed it and those bright golden eyes examined your pleasure ridden face.

Kisses and bites covered your neck as Rumi found your sweet spot, abusing it mercilessly and sucking it. She peppered kisses all over your neck and nipped it whenever your attention was directly away from her. One of her hands around your waist and the other crawling underneath your shirt and cupping your chest, flicking your nipples as you arched your back.

“That’s it baby~” She cooed as she continued her attack on your neck, rubbing your nipple in between her fingers, you pushed your body into hers. Keigo meanwhile was feeling left out and sucked on your clit and moved his tongue in and out, feeling your walls clamp down on his tongue. Your legs shook as a knot built up and if not for their hands holding you up you would’ve fallen.

“Cum for me songbird. Let me hear that voice cry out in pleasure~” Rumi used both hands to push up your shirt and gave attention to both breasts. Giving one a lick, feeling you to tense up and moan, pinching and pulling the other as you sucked and licked the other. Switching position to keep the pleasure growing and smirking as she heard you breath hitch, Keigo swirled his tongue around your bud and coaxed two fingers in your pussy.

The wonderful stretch nearly pushed you over the edge as his finger pumped in and out, using his tongue to give you some outer stimulation. Humming when your grip on his hair tightened and sent waves of pleasure crashing down on you with his vibrations, feeling his hold tighten on your thighs as you shook. Keigo used his tongue to help you ride out your orgasm and Rumi played with your nipples, pulling you in for a kiss and capturing your moans.

“Damn, Baby Bird. You’re so goddamn attractive. How’d we get so lucky?” The red winged man spoke, running circles on your thigh and lovingly looking at your expression twisted in pleasure. That must have been one of the best climaxes you’ve had, even with your vibrators and exes. You caught your breath and opened your heavy eyelids, seeing Rumi and Keigo look at you, no doubt a mess.

“That- That was amazing. Fuck. You both are incredible. I guess we’re skipping dinner then?” They laughed at your joke and stood up, still holding onto your hips to keep you steady just in case. Keigo buries his head into your neck giving it light kisses, “I don’t know I’m still pretty hungry~ I mean we haven’t even gotten to the main course, songbird.”

Rumi spoke up, “I’m waiting for my turn too. Won’t you do me the pleasure of eating me out?” A crimson blush spread over your cheeks and you took a step back onto the wall, both of them caging you in, “I’m going to fuck you till the only thing you remember is our names.” He whispered in your ear, biting your lobe, “Now, where is the bedroom?”

#mha hawks #mirko x reader #hawks x reader #my hero academia #hawks x y/n #pro hero hawks #rabbit hero: mirko #mirko x y/n

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cooloddball · 3 years

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JIB9 (JIBCON 2018) ANALYSIS PART 2

Go read part 1 of jib9 analysis if you haven’t read it already.

Continuing from where we left off...

Misha says no, he doesn’t think that Cas feels like part of the family and Jensen smirks and looks down while Jared smiles

Jensen helps Misha along with his answer

Jensen defends Sam and Dean after Misha says they don’t show emotion saying things like “I love you so much”

Jens: “There are a few scenes where you know,”

Jared: “Didn’t you see the one with the whole if we die we will do that together too?”

Jens: “Yeah that was emotional”

This is getting serious people. Remember this is season 13 they are talking about.

Jens keeps going on “you know there was embracing, and then there was a lot-I mean…” This whole time Jensen is looking at Misha

Misha is like “All I’m saying…”

And Jensen cuts Misha off and says, “Did you miss that?”

Look at Jared’s face here though. He’s like are you guys having a lovers’ quarrel? Am I missing something?

Misha tries to talk again but Jensen is adamant, unrelenting to give up on that there was an emotional scene between Dean and Cas. 13x05??? “Were you not there?”

Misha being who he is and not backing down either he says, “NO” rather defiantly.

Jared’s face here though. He stopped talking and is watching these two lovers go at it. (No, not the sexy kind)

Jensen doesn’t look too thrilled about what Misha said. Jared laughs Jensen is basically done at this point. Look at his face.

Misha continues “That was Castiel”

And Jensen just looks appalled, he raises his eyebrows looks down at his hands [0.43 insert Jensen’s face atm] and since Misha is looking at him and he sees that Jensen is unhappy he adds “I’m very method.”

Jensen goes to say something but stops himself, Jared senses the tension, Misha is still looking at Jensen and Jensen hasn’t looked at Misha since he asked him “were you not there?”

IDK what is going on here but it fees like more than just about Dean and Cas and more like it’s about Jensen and Misha. I mean Jared and Misha are having fun with it and Jensen just seems adamant to prove they care A LOT about Cas which is weird considering the fact that the moment Misha was asked that question Jensen agreed with Jared that they are not as pleased that Cas was back (this was a joke) . So what has changed since then? Only a few seconds have passed.

Jensen presses on, “I mean was Cas there? I know he was there physically but was he there emotionally? Because it doesn’t sound like it.”

The way Misha is holding his microphone he looks scared. Jensen can’t take his eyes off Misha.

Misha says, “see this is what I’m talking about” I think he realizes Jensen is getting too emotional and personal on stage and he decides to guide the conversation to the funny side.

Jensen laughs .

Misha says “ I don’t think he [Cas] lets himself feel worthy or wanted” and Jensen keeps looking at a fixed spot on the floor and I don’t know what’s so interesting there. Jared says “smart” in reference to Misha’s statement and Jensen nods.

Jared tries to make fun but Misha is not having it, he [Misha] looks at an imaginary watch and says “That said-uh…that said I think this season he’s felt more part of the team and the family…probably *looks at Jensen* more than ever before” Now I talked about that moment here but I have to reiterate, something is off here tbh. I don’t know what was going on with Jensen but something was definitely off.

I have been thinking about what the causation of Jensen’ s behaviour could be and I have come to a very weird and maybe kind of controversial conclusion, IDK. But here’s what I think. Maybe Misha finally told Jensen that he didn’t feel like he was part of the family because of the way they treated him and talked shit about him at J2 panels? Like how he pretended to gag when he saw Misha on screen during the jib9 j2 panel the previous day. Or the extreme pranks Jared played on him and Jensen just stood aside? The way some j2 fans send hate to him and that it gets to him. Maybe he finally opened up. Because if that is the case then, Jensen blamed himself for making Misha feel like that when he didn’t have any intention to? I hope I’m making sense. Or maybe it could be something else entirely but I feel like since 2017 Jensen had stopped going along with Jared’s attempts to make fun of Misha at their panes. So maybe this was him feeling bad that he ever played a part in that??? Okay my head hurts I have to move on.

Since that moment Jensen doesn’t look okay, even when Mishalecki are bantering with the next fan, Jensen just seems sad? Sad is not the right word but he seems kind of upset

So the fan makes a small mistake in what she’s asking and Misha laughs then Jensen turns to look at him for a brief second, it’s literally for a second and Misha looks at him with his big blue eyes but Jensen looks away rather quickly. I think they can both feel the weight of the previous answer Misha gave simmering beneath the surface but they can’t talk about it atm.

Now Jared says something rather weird to me, “A man who goes to sleep with an itchy butt wakes up with a smelly hand.” (I know it’s a saying or whatever but it’s just a strange thing to say or maybe it’s just me) Jensen is nodding along to that but Misha doesn’t look amused. I think it’s an interesting thing to say when two of your best friends who play with each other’s butts are seated on stage with you. I’m not sorry I said that because it had to be said.

For a literal microsecond, Misha looks at Jensen but Jensen is looking at a fixed spot on the floor as has become norm in the last 2 minutes. Mish suppresses a smile because he knows Jensen still feels bad about earlier.

Jared says that’s why he thinks the brother’s and Cas have to die in order for the show to end and Jensen’s face is just stoic. Dude wtf??

Jensen joins in the banter and makes a joke about a man who stands on a toilet while high on pot he’s not crazy he’s just high? J2 make another joke about a man going backwards to Bangkok or something. Misha manages to laugh at those jokes.

Jared asks Misha if he has anything to add and Jensen looks at Misha smiling look at the way he’s looking at Misha. It’s like he wants to stuff him in his pocket and take him home with him.

Jensen is laughing so hard now because Misha says that the only sayings that come to mind are the only ones he doesn’t want to say.

They try to pronounce the German word and it’s hilarious AF.

So Jared makes a joke of a sound that the fan is helping them pronounce and Jensen is just done. Completely done because he looks away and scratches his beard like he wants to be anywhere but there. JFC What is going on? He was happy again.

OMG husbands whispering at each other while Jared is engaged with a fan. Gossipy Jensen. Also I’m glad whatever tension was there after the Cas question is finally gone and they are back on track again.

They are in there own little world because IDK what Misha whispered to Jensen but Jensen is unicorn laughing. Aww J

“We just said some really bad shit” I like it when Jensen curses. Now I want to know what they said because when Misha whispers it to Jared, he laughs really hard as well. Oh to be a tiny ant crawling around, listening to their whispered secrets. A girl can dream am I right?

7.33 Jared asks the fan what her “that German/Austrian word” was that morning and I am inclined to think whatever the husbands were whispering to each other had something to do with a sex-related orifice because of the way Jensen reacts.

The fan puts Jared in his place. Look at Jensen’s reaction.

He’s like you go girl.

Jensen wants to whisper something to Misha so bad but he stops himself.

Okay so Jensen says he did bicycle touring and he did take part in some of the quests. Is he talking about GISHWES because he never can pronounce that word. LOL.

So Jared interrupts Jensen starts telling his story and Jensen just shuts down just look at his face the entire time Jared is telling it.

Misha and Jared are talking about how it’s so hot on stage and Jensen is just miming to the fans how it’s not hot. I love when he does that. Naughty boy.

Misha moans and he and Jared just rush off to point the fan in their direction while Jensen just stands over the fan on his side of the stage and cools his balls off.

OMG!!!! Misha is doing the mating dance while making fiery eye contact with Jensen and sips from the bottle. Jensen heeds his husband’s call to mate and walks briskly in long manly steps to wards him and he takes the drink off his hand while looking at him like he wants to eat him [it’s called a mating dance for a reason] and inhales the drink whatever it is and it must be really strong because he looks away and says something to Jared. Misha walks away says something to Jared and goes to sit down. Jensen starts twerking his booty. Misha your man wants to mate on stage do something. Anyway Jensen pours the drink that Misha had sipped directly from the bottle in a shot glass and does the rck on sign and sips it. The entire time Mishalecki are just looking at Nesnej and laughing not understanding what is going on.

Jared sniffs the drink and says “poker face” and Jensen says “thanks Lady Gaga” IDK if this was a snide comment or just banter but now we know Jensen listens to Lady Gaga and Katy Perry (re: jib8).

This part is really funny when the fan thanks Misha for sending a recovery message to her friend but Misha says that he had no choice but to do it because the fan just held out the phone to Misha and Misha was like “oooh, heeey”

I think Jared asks Misha what happened and Misha explains because Jared folds over laughing.

Jared starts talking before Jensen can answer the question and again Jensen doesn’t look too amused. This guy keeps stealing his thunder.

Jensen manages a smile when he hears that Misha did a German accent

Misha asks Jensen if he wants some tips on accents and Jensen smiles and says no. Ouch. Sorry Mish, your man doesn’t want your help. He’d rather wing it.

Misha is not backing down and compliments Jensen by listing all the accents that Jensen can do. We love a supportive husband. Hype your man Mish.

Jensen says that he speaks French and he has a little have a tête-à-tête in français. I find it funny how Misha pretends not to know Jensen speaks French yet he just listed all the accents Jensen can do. Sure Jan. And after the French interaction which Misha adds a flair of a French accent when he talk as and , Jensen tries really hard not to smile. Someone’s excited. #accent kink ;)

Jensen says he doesn’t think Michael is going to need an accent and Misha says yes he will in French accent and Jensen is just trying really really hard not to smile.

Look at Jared’s face though he’s like dude are you seriously turned on by Misha’s weird accent right now? It’s not even funny and Jensen can’t stop smiling.

Jensen is done with Misha’s shenanigans so he just cuts him off and Misha is exasperated and Jensen proceeds to ask his question.

Fan says she would improve on Misha’s German accent and Misha gasps scandalized and even Jensen is not happy about that but he takes this moment to make fun of Misha so the comment doesn’t seem as harsh

Look at Misha’s face

and here is Jensen’s face he can’t believe someone was mean to his baby.

Anyway, in an attempt to make it less painful for his man he tries to make and joke and says, “I didn’t send that out with the insult in mind but I’m really glad that happened.”

The joke makes it worse and Misha doesn’t seem to feel better. Poor Misha.

It’s over.

Time for the closing ceremony

Jensen and Briana singing.

Misha and Adam

I love their friendship, makes me think of the possibilities that could’ve been between Cas and Mick on the show.

OMG Jensen you naught boy, yeah I see you have experience humping and spanking. Go on Rockstar we love to see it.

Even Jason Mann’s sees Jensen humping the air and Misha and Jensen turn to look at Jason. Jensen is smirking at him after what he just did. OMG.

The way Jensen is looking at Rob when Rob tries to sing the remaining verses of carry on my wayward son. Jensen you need apple juice. Jensen is me. He is insane and he is me and I love him. JENSENKIN!!!!

Why are Jensen and Misha gravitating towards each other unconsciously? Do their hearts have magnets that pull towards each other?

Speaking of them why does Jensen seem extremely tall here and Misha looks so tiny.

Am I the only one who doesn’t like the guy who played Ketch? OMG he just rubs me off the wrong way.

OMG is Jared trying to touch Jensen’s hand? Eww He touched Jensen’s arm and Jensen didn’t even look at him. This is embarrassing. Jensen hasn’t looked at him once/ HELP.

Misha and Jensen are standing the same way at the exact same time and they aren’t even looking at each other. OMG!! This is insanity.

Jensen turns to smile at Misha. Aww J

Jensen looks at Misha with a smile on his face when Daniela says they’ll be back the next year the year that gave us straddle gate and boners.

It’s over guys.

So I have come to the conclusion that something was going on between Jensen and Jared at jib 9.

See you on the next one.

Part 1

#cockles #jib9 #jibcon 2018 #jib9 cockles panel analysis #j2m

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wolfieslae · 3 years

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"liam saved theo from his never ending nightmare so theo saved liam from himself"

it’s no surprise to anyone, i’m a tiny bit obsessed with thiam.

when theo first arrived to the show i liked him already, i felt like he was an interesting character with an interesting backstory, i wanted to learn more. the more i did the worst it got but i kept thinking he was interesting and i liked seeing how he was able to plan his take on the pack. he managed to insert himself in the life of the characters and turned it around, when his plan failed, he still got his pack but ended up killing them all, i admit, kinda real bad, and then he got drag down to hell.

during the fifth season we found out that when he was ten he was manipulated into thinking his older sister – tara – wanted him to have her heart, because his had a genetic disorder. he believed the dread doctors when they told him they could make him better and he killed his own sister – taking her heart. he then left with them and was raised by them, raised believing that power was all that mattered and that he would be nothing and no one without it.

in season six episode six liam and hayden decided to bring him back because they needed his help with a supernatural creature in town, while hayden was more resistant, liam did not hesitate to smash kira’s sword into the ground and free theo, saving him from his never ending nightmare at the same time.

very rapidly we understood that whatever power theo might have stolen from his chimera pack – more specifically josh – he wasn’t in possession of them anymore, he was back to "classic theo" part coyote and part wolf. after he helped with the ghost rider, liam and hayden locked theo in the holding cell at the sheriff station. theo wanted out and liam wanted answer, they made a deal and liam broke the sword and with it any chance of theo going back to hell, his never ending nightmare.

when they needed him more, liam and stilinski broke theo out of jail but unfortunately the sheriff was taken and only theo and liam were left, leaving them no choice but to work together to flee the ghost riders. they – liam – had one goal, lure them away from scott, lydia and malia who were trying to get stiles back.

the both of them ended up at the hospital where, and i quote, liam said "when the ghost riders find us, i’m not gonna do anything for you, i’m not gonna help you, i’m not gonna save you, i’m gonna do exactly what you’d do to me, i’m gonna use you as bait". we all know he did not keep that promise, in fact, while fighting with a ghost rider, he pointed a gun at the one theo was fighting and shot, saving his life in the process. to "pay him back" and maybe prove that he wasn’t as bad as liam made him out to be, theo offered himself as bait.

while we all thought he had been taken in the hunt, we found out he hadn’t when out of nowhere he came back and saved liam from one of the ghost riders at the school, leaving liam able to get on with his god awful – but working – plan to get into the hunt.

while theo later on fought at the side of scott, malia and peter, he was forgotten and left alone. obligated to live in his car.

we found that out on season six episode twelve, where i noticed that the deputies coming to wake him up seemed to always wear a different uniform, did theo move around? or is the beacon county just, that big?

he was shot and didn’t come back until three episodes later (not gonna lie, these were the three most stressful weeks of my life).

when in episode twelve we found out he was living in his car, we also found out that he might have been the first target for the anuk-ite. thankfully, theo caught the spider early and got rid of it before it took his body and with it, his life.

when he came back in episode fifteen, he was hang up and tied to an electric fence in gerard and monroe’s headquarters. along with two other werewolves. when he thought he was free, he ended not being and was taken into custody.

during episode fifteen, when nolan was caught trying to sneak into the sheriff station liam automatically recognized him as the one who tried to make him shift in front of the whole school by beating him up. by scott’s reaction we understand that he might not have told him. but some of the shots during this scene were interesting, showing liam on the first plan with a close-shot accompanied by a blurry theo in the back. we understand why in the next scene that they share, in the bathroom.

theo confronts liam about what is happening, saying he will not risk his freedom. while liam first manages to stay calm during the discussion, he looses control when talking about brett and lori’s death. he punches theo before heading out and saying "i’m still working on my anger".

while we don’t know what happens between episode fifteen and episode sixteen, we understand that something might have clicked in liam’s brain, because, while he reacted poorly, theo seemed to be the only one noticing that something was wrong with liam. could this be why he brought him with him at the zoo? maybe.

it could also be because theo seems to be able to handle liam. theo has a past and liam knows it, theo doesn’t shy away in front of danger and maybe this is what liam needs at the moment? someone who will not hesitate to get in the way to stop him from doing something stupid?

there is also a line in this episode where theo says "i’m not dying out here because you want pay back against a kid who kicked your ass" and while i have no recollection of anyone explaining to theo what happened in the prior episodes with nolan and liam, maybe someone did between episode fifteen and sixteen, liam perhaps?

the car conversation is also interesting because now theo knows how bad liam has it with his anger, and the fear the anuk-ite brings is not helping "people only feel one emotion at a time liam". he also knows liam needs help "you brought me here because that thing that came out of the wild hunt is affecting you too" at this moment theo has already made up his mind, whether liam wants his help or not, he is going to get it.

and funny enough, liam doesn’t seem that resilient – oh he is yes – but not so much because deep down he knows he needs it, he also knows that whatever technique theo uses, it seems to be working because in episode seventeen, during the locker-room scene, liam calms down a bit too quickly for my liking (wrong i absolutely loved that).

theo uses reversed psychology and makes it to seem like liam would turn into a murderer, into someone like him "i’m the one with experience here", theo even uses "we" so that liam can feel more of a "bad person" because of what he might do. but in the end, it works and liam calms down.

now here is my favorite part, right after that liam asks theo "why do you keep trying to save me" and while theo answers something so dumb i don’t even want to mention it, i know it’s because liam saved him first and now theo feels obligated to return the favor (well, he does seem to enjoy it anyways).

theo can be seen in the next episode, number eighteen, right at the beginning, in the animal clinic with scott, liam and mason.

mason agrees with theo and liam doesn’t seem to like it, everything he says to or about theo seems to come out as an insult, but why? they seemed to be getting along well in the prior episode? finishing each other sentences when showing the dead bodies gabe brought them to to scott and malia? maybe because he’s starting to realize he might need theo more than he thought? and he doesn’t want to acknowledge it?

either way, theo and mason are sent to the tunnels to find aaron. they are both clearly uncomfortable being with each other but theo even more because the tunnels are where everything started and he surely does not want to stay or be here at all.

mason ends up hurt, and theo decides to try and take his pain away. first of all, great decision, it shows that he is trying to change, that he at least knows he can do it at some point and wants to. unfortunately he isn’t able "you can’t take pain if you don’t care". theo still decides to stay with mason while waiting for help.

the next time we see theo, it’s at the beginning of episode twenty, the finale. he is in his car, driving to somewhere on the phone with scott.

here are some details that don’t sit right with me. their phone call lasted twenty six seconds. there is no way theo answered the phone, got in his car, and drove to what seems to be the highway in twenty six seconds, so where was he going? was he leaving town because of what had happened with mason in the tunnels or liam’s sneaky comments at the clinic? because even after all his efforts, he is still not being accepted and knows he probably never will? probably. but i’m glad scott called and asked for his help.

he got to the hospital and saved liam’s ass – again might i add.

then, there is what is for me, their most important scene, for their relationship but also for their own character’s arc.

the elevator scene.

where they promise each other they weren’t gonna die for each other. where they lie their ass off.

i have a theory about this scene. remember the look? yes that one, the famous look down. based on my calculations, it is way too low to be directed to liam’s lips as people believe it to be, no, i think it’s directed to his chest, most importantly, his heart. because liam lied, and theo heard it. now of course theo lied too but he’s a professional he knows how to keep his heart steady.

and of course liam knows that theo knows because the look gives it away, which is why he accepts to fight with him (and damn, they make a pretty good team! i mean, that back roll? come on!) and i think in that moment they understood that no matter what, they can’t hide from this anymore, whatever this is (my money’s on anchor with a touch of love).

but in that moment i knew. i knew that because liam allowed himself to get help from theo, allowed himself to be anchored by theo, he anchored theo too. he gave him a reason and the opportunity to stay on the right path, on the path to redemption. and in that moment theo realized that he mattered, that he had a purpose.

can we also quickly talk about the small shot of theo flinching at the sound of the gun going off? when has he ever done that? he was literally raised by the dread doctors, he’s not afraid of anything, but not knowing if liam was on the other end of that gun shot scared him.

now we all know that part of why theo was able to take gabe’s pain was because he saw himself in him, the kid who trusted the wrong people and suffered the consequences, just like he did. but part of why he was able to care was because liam cared. liam gave theo a reason to care.

and this is why i love them so much. because their relationship, again, whatever it is, is special. it’s unlike any we’ve ever seen in the show. it’s important because it takes into consideration who they are on their own. it doesn’t exist just to add a relationship or a story-line to the show, it exists to fit on their own story-line, to make them better people.

as the title says, liam saved theo from his never ending nightmare so theo saved liam from himself (and fell in love with him in the process).

they are so important to me because i like when relationships have meaning, and theirs seems to be just that, meaningful.

#thiam #theo raeken #liam dunbar #two idiots in love #teen wolf #anchors #season 6 #thiam is the best dynamic ever don’t change my mind #please don’t make me flop #i love them

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