sometimes it’s your brother who’s ripping your heart out
(edit: now with a companion piece)
LOOK i have a lot of thoughts about dick giving the robin name away
bc he's going through it and trying to salvage what he can, but clearly tim—who's Also going through it—can't see past the betrayal
so yeah tim in his robin suit from after kon's death but looking like he's 13 bc it's his 13-year-old self who idolized dick grayson that's feeling the most betrayed
and dick in civvies bc it's not nightwing who's betraying tim but his brother
and obvs dick's hand ripping tim's heart out right over where the robin R would be
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I do love how Wally has always been the weird dimension hopping kid. It's not a new development by any means.
In one of the early issues of the original Teen Titans series the gang witnesses a kid being kidnapped and taken to another dimension. They then watch as the only portal to that dimension crumbles before their eyes.
Naturally the kids are distraught and they think that they've lost the kid forever.
And then Wally's like "Nah I bet I can get him" and Dick's like "Wally, what? You run fast, you can't change dimensions" and Wally's all "don't doubt me bro, I got this" and then he does.
I just find it fascinating that dimensional fuckery has just always been a part of Wally's power set.
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Brothers
whumptober23
day 13- cold compress
fandom- batman
TW- sickness
summary- Tim is definitely not sick. Jason disagrees.
ao3
whumptober23 masterlist
Tim feels absolutely awful. His head is pounding and he can’t even look at his computer screen to try and work through a case. Currently, he’s squinting at paper file about the latest suspicious shipments, but the words keep swimming in his head.
Maybe he should drink some coffee. Yup. That will definitely help. He stands up from his couch and manages two steps before dizziness overtakes him and he ends up on the floor.
He groans and tries to push himself up but his arms tremble.
Whatever, the floor is pretty comfy anyway. But coffee. He tries to push himself up again. He can’t be weak. He can’t afford to be. He has to go on patrol tonight.
Which means he needs to be awake enough for it. So coffee. He manages to get up and stumble to the kitchen.
He’s in the middle of trying to steady his hand so he can pour the coffee grounds into the coffee maker when he hears his window slide open. He startles, dropping the coffee grounds which spill over the floor. He’s about to be sad about that, but then the vertigo from spinning around hits and he has to grip the counter to stay upright while fighting back nausea.
“Hey, Timberlina, I’m here to grab some files.”
It’s Jason.
Tim can’t help but feel annoyed. Jason has his own files. He doesn't need to steal Tim’s. But he doesn't want to open his mouth to say any of this because if he does he’s afraid he’s going to throw up.
“Tim?” Jason pokes his head into the kitchen, sees him catalog the dropped coffee and Tim who has a white knuckled grip on the counter to keep himself from falling over. “Shit, Tim. What’s wrong with you?”
Tim wants to give him the middle finger, but holding on to the counter is the only thing keeping him upright. So, he settles for scowling aggressively, but Jason just snorts.
Tim opens his mouth to tell Jason to get out, but immediately shuts it again as the nausea intensifies. He sways slightly before tightening his grip on the counter.
And wow, he should really be more aware of his surrounding because suddenly Jason’s in front of him reaching a hand out toward Tim’s head. He flinches back.
“Calm down, Timberly, I’m checking if you have a fever.
“I’m not sick.” Tim says through gritted teeth.
“Sure you aren’t.” Jason says but his hand is now on Tim’s forehead and he’s scowling. “You’re burning up.”
“I’m fine.” the nausea has subsided slightly, but Tim still feels dizzy.
Jason doesn’t dignify that with a response. Then he sighs. “Alright, let’s get you to bed.”
“I said–”
“You’re fine. I know. Which means you’re perfectly well enough to clean up the coffee grounds.”
Tim gulped, glancing down at the mess. The idea of having to bend down made the nausea spike.
“That’s what I thought. Now either you go lay down on your own, or I’ll carry you.”
“I–”
Jason raised an eyebrow.
Tim took a slow breath and let go of the counter. He hadn’t even managed it one step before a wave vertigo overtook him and he felt his legs give out. He expects to hit the ground, but instead strong arms catch him and pick him up. Tim looks up into Jason’s face, but he’s not looking at him.
Jason walks quickly and Tim is promptly deposited onto his bed. Jason exits his bedroom and Tim wonders if Jason’s has left. But a moment later, Jason walks back in carrying a bowl, a cup with water, and a cold compress.
“What…” Tim starts, but doesn’t know how to continue.
Jason sets the cup down on the bedside table, lifts the bowl saying, “If you need to puke,” before setting it by the bed. Then he lays the cold compress across Tim’s forehead and Tim sighs in relief.
“I’ll let you get some sleep.” Jason says and turns to go.
“Wait–”
Jason pauses.
And Tim really must be sick because he continues. “Please don’t go.”
Jason doesn’t move and Tim resigns himself to Jason leaving. But after a moment Jason sighs, going to sit down in an armchair in the corner of the room. “Fine. But you better get some sleep.” Then, out of one of his cargo pants pockets, Jason pulls out a small book.
Tim opens his mouth to tease him, but shuts his mouth as Jason starts to read outloud.
“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.”
And as Jason continued to read, Tim fell asleep.
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Thirteen and yasmin are insane because watching the show it feels like the doctor is genuinely incapable on some level of truly loving yasmin- even to the extent that she fell in love with previous companions.
Hear me out, (this is a bit of a crackpot theory) something about this regeneration, something in the way she seems to be built as a direct reaction to twelve's late-season unabashed emotionally vulnerability- the way he held onto the pain and emotions and held on HARDER when they hurt, and now thirteen wont even pick them up.
Somewhere in those few seconds of regeneration, the regeneration itself must have latched onto the previous doctor's lingering thoughts- all those thoughts, a whole lifetime thinking about how much everything HURT- of much EASIER it would be to just AVOID all of that to just IGNORE it how he didn't HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THAT. But regeneration is a bit of a tricky process isn't it? You're usually lucky enough to get the right amount of arms and legs. You'd probably have pretty poor luck if you tried politely explaining"I'm just kind of grieving pretty hard right now and my life sucks ass usually and my desire to not suffer and irrationally blame my emotions themselves for this is actually a pretty common response so please don't overreact and make me incapable of proper emotional expression and connection with the people in my life please that'll actually make this WORSE not BETTER." I mean seriously good luck trying to explain those concepts to splitting timelord cells, I can't imagine they're great with conversation.
So the twelth Doctor's dying and one of his last thoughts is "man if I cared about people less I'd suffer less" and the thirteenth doctor is born (in a sense) woth that thought at the forefront. And she still cares!- so, SO much, but... it's.. different. It's not quite CLICKING. anymore. Things that WERE easy or at least DOABLE before just AREN'T now. Or at the very least they feel WRONG. Like walking around in someone else's shoes. In an old coat that doesn't quite fit. In an old face. And then the universe dumps the doctor right into the lap of 3 new companions with no clue about space or aliens or the doctor or any of that. No idea of what the doctor was like before- of what she is capable of now or WAS capable of before, and she doesn't tell them either.
And so she's walking around and she's keeping this ravine of distance between herself and everyone and everything in a way she never has before and there's no one there to call her out on it, but she pretends! She pretends it's not there! And she's really, REALLY good at it this time- maybe because twelve regretted not being better at it himself, even (but that's a different thought). And sure the companions call her out on it, yasmin in particular calls her out on it A LOT, Ryan, too- but they still don't realise the EXTENT to which the Doctor is (failing? refusing?) to connect with them because they have ONLY EVER met THIS DOCTOR and so they don't realise how drastic the difference is. They lack the proper knowledge to REALISE what is even truly going on with the doctor. But the doctor is still the doctor aren't they. And these are still their companions. And frankly, they're still kind of a dick.
So despite their sudden inability to connect with their companions on a level the doctor has never experienced before, and despite these new companions personalities being so unique and their journey with the doctor being so hectic that the doctor and all of them keep chafing and slipping out of the same old Doctor-And-Companion molds that the doctor keeps trying to shove them all into, the doctor wont stop trying to make these old molds fit! And honestly that never ends up being a huge problem for any of them. It's just kind of an interesting aspect of the doctor- a fascinating way that they sort of dehumanize their friends, by just plopping them in a mold and replacing them when they wear out. Because of course you still care for them! But by giving them a ROLE in your life that can just be REPLACED as opposed to letting them exist as a PERSON in your life once they're gone? That makes things easier. That makes the grief easier to bear.
ANYWAYS. back to the yasmin thing. If you remember the Yasmin thing. So. Yasmin falls in love. Of course she does. And the doctor notices. Of course she does. She's old and more people have been messing with her head than usual but she's good with noticing things no matter what else changes about her. And she doesn't say anything. Because she's a timelord! And Yasmin will die, or fall in love with someone else, or turn into a cyberman, or experience one of the infinite possibilities of horrors or wonders in all of time and space that will tear them apart and the doctor will be left alone again, so what's even the point!
Except then Ryan and Graham leave. And then the Timeless Child arc happens. And it wouldn't hurt to feed into it a little would it? Just to keep Yasmin around? Just to keep her from leaving? It wouldn't hurt right? I mean Thirteen could love Yas! She does! Of course she does! Yas is her fam! Her companion! The only one who's stuck with her through it all!- who keeps calling her out, coming back for her, saving her, taking care of her, helping her- and she's grateful! And she cares about Yas! That's not so different from love, right? And love would make Yas stay! And it'd be easy! It'd take what?- a date? Two? Probably! Humans like dates! And romance! And flirting! She can do those! In all honestly she HAS been doing those- (She gets incredibly posessive of anything that becomes part of her tardis, her world, her home, and well, yasmin has been there a long time. And flirting is fun! And a sort of socially acceptable way of staking a claim isn't it? Not to mention the doctor isn't great at denying themself anything that gets another being to feed their ego.) So she leads Yas on a little. Drops hints here and there. She doesn't really know if she means them or not but she knows that she wants Yasmin to stay, that she can't even imagine Yasmin leaving. And that's love right? Or close enough anyways.
So she decides that she loves Yasmin and that she and Yasmin are "together" in a way and decides not to question it further. Because she's placed yasmin in a new companion mold and herself in a new doctor-companion relationship model, and everything's as it should be! and yasmin has no other point of reference for the doctor, so she settles for what she's given. Decides "this is all she can give. She abandoned Ace and Tegan seemingly without a second thought and didn't even apologize- I guess this is how it's always been, with every companion. That's fine! I can handle this! It's worth it for her." And in the meantime The Doctor is sitting there on the other side of the console fully aware of the fact that this is in fact NOT the limits of her affection, but she's HAPPY, or at least as happy as she will allow herself to be with Yasmin.
Yasmin though. Yasmin WANTS more, she DESERVES more and Thirteen KNOWS this, but Thirteen puts her own desire to both keep Yasmin at a distance and avoid desciphering her own feelings above Yasmin. Eventually, Dan calls the doctor out on this. Pretty much just telling her "You KNOW that she likes you. Do SOMETHING about it." The doctor doesn't say anything but does, in a later episode, sit down on a beach and make a wish with Yasmin. "I wish this would go on forever" both meaning she hopes yasmin stays with her forever and that their relationship never progresses. She has everything she needs from yas- which, for the doctor who with previously loves (i am intentionally NOT specifying romantic interests) became OBSESSED with them to the point of not just self-destruction, but universe destruction? Potential INTER-universal destruction in the case of Rose? How could THAT doctor- because YES this is a DIFFERENT DOCTOR, but this is still THE DOCTOR- ever be satisfied with the disconnected relationship she has with Yasmin if she was in love with Yasmin? If she felt THAT WAY about Yasmin? Like she had for all those comapnions that had come before Yasmin that The Doctor had fallen in love with?
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