#depending this could be viewed as romantic or platonic which ever you want to see it as
Text
Let's Chat
Andy knew she was lonely, it was self imposed loneliness but still she was lonely. Moving to Jasper Nevada had been an impulsive decision. She wanted to get away, start anew. Go somewhere no one knew her and she knew no one. It had appeared ideal in the beginning. She had gotten exactly what she wanted and it felt nothing like she had expected. And now Andy was just tired.
Tired of being alone.
Tired of the monotony that her life had fallen into.
Tired of standing in the same place while the world moved on without her.
If she had known these thoughts would lead her to this? Well hindsight is twenty twenty.
Andy had heard her coworkers talking about some new app. It was called Lets Chat and it let you get in touch with random people. She felt weird and pathetic eavesdropping on a conversation that she hadn’t been a part of but she was curious.
Curious and lonely enough to consider getting Lets Chat.
She was laying in bed on a Friday night when she caved and downloaded the app. Embarrassment colored her face as she looked at the little purple square with the open cartoon mouth. Andy had to tell herself that this app was made for people like her. It was made for solitary people to try and make connections. It was perfectly acceptable for her to have this.
Swallowing what little pride she had she opened the application. A smiling mouth moved as a prompt popped up above it.
Click to start a conversation!
Make a connection!
Get in touch with anyone from anywhere!
Andy’s thumb tapped the screen and everything swirled into a purple stream and the screen went white.
PanoptCon is ready to chat! Send them a message!
The icon displayed was a bird wearing a visor that had an eye painted on the front. It was really well drawn and a bit unsettling. But that just made it more interesting. Her fingers hovered over the keypad. She could still back out, she hadn’t typed anything yet. No contact had been initiated.
Was she really going to talk to some rando?
Was she that despondent?
A frown pulled at the edges of her mouth. She hadn’t had a proper conversation with another person in months. So yes, she really was that despondent.
RocketToad; Hello!
With the contact initiated Andy stared at her phone. Seconds ticked by slowly as her message remained the only thing on the screen. A lone purple bubble in a sea of white. She let out a sigh. Realistically she shouldn’t have expected an immediate reply. Who just laid there and waited for a message from a complete stranger?
Oh right, she did.
Dragging a hand over her face Andy could feel herself sinking further. Her arm hung over the side of her bed, the grip on her phone was loose as she turned her head to look out the window. It was dark out, no moon hung in the sky. It had been overcast all day so one couldn’t even see the stars.
She knew the street lights were broken too so the outside looked like an endless dark void.
BZZT
Blue eyes darted to her phone as it vibrated in her hand. With far too much excitement she brought it to her face. The bright glow of the screen cast an eerie light as now right under her purple bubble were two pink ones.
PanoptCon; Hello.
PanoptCon; How are you? I like your icon. It is very cute.
Her icon was a chunky brown toad with its tongue poking out wearing a jetpack. A warm feeling settled in Andy’s chest. She thinks she should feel pathetic for how happy she was right now. And she did because it was but pushing down the negativity her thumbs tapped along the keyboard.
RocketToad; Oh, thank you! I’ve had the same icon for years now. And I'm alright. How are you?
RocketToad; I like your icon too by the way. It’s really cool.
Andy could feel a smile spreading across her face as another message popped up. It felt good to be talking to someone. She knows she talks to people at work but it wasn’t the same. And while this PanoptCon character wasn’t a friend it still felt good to be communicating with another person.
She kinda wondered if they were lonely too.
_____________
Humming happily Andy got comfortable on her couch. Work had been not stressful but mind numbing. She had been off for two days and someone left the filing system in utter disarray. No one was naming names but she just knew it was Elanne.
But that didn’t matter. Andy was in a good mood today.
She had a friend.
It had been a few months since she had started talking with PanoptCon. The first week had been a bit weird. The timing never seemed to be right and she went four days without hearing a response. They had been apologetic and had said that their job was turbulent and the hours could be weird to put it lightly. Andy had told them it was alright and she understood. She did ask what PanoptCon did for a living and she had gotten a cryptic response in return. For legal reasons they were not allowed to divulge the exact details but they worked with computers.
That had been interesting to learn but Andy didn’t pry any further. While her job may not have needed to be all hush hush that didn’t mean other jobs weren’t. Things were better now though. They would let Andy know in advance if they could when things were going to be getting hectic. She appreciated it and told them to text her when they could. It was cheesy but she couldn’t help but tack on a little ‘Be safe!’. PanoptCon always responded with an emoji saluting and a ‘Will do.’
Andy smiled down at her phone as it buzzed.
PanoptCon; Hello RT, how are you this evening?
RocketToad; Hey Pan! I’m doing pretty good actually. Work was tedious but I am feeling good today. How are you?
Flipping through the channels on her tv she waited for them to respond. Nothing was really on and she was thinking about putting a movie in before an alarming headline on the news screamed at her.
DRAMATIC INCREASES IN HIT N’ RUNS!
Andy leaned forward and turned up the television as the News Anchor appeared. The man looked discontent, his mouth was set in a thin line. She felt her phone go off but she wanted to hear what was going on.
“Most recent police reports have stated there have been seventeen hit n’ runs in the last two weeks. Authorities are at a loss when brought to the scenes of these brutal incidents.”
Her hand came up to cover her mouth as the anchor went on. He went on to say that it was to be believed that these drive bys were not accidents. A brief video was brought up. The camera was shaky and it was dark but it obviously showed a purple car deliberately charging whoever was filming. The video was cut before viewers could see the obvious results.
Tearing her eyes away from the tv she picked up her phone.
PanoptCon; I’m happy you are in a good mood, though I’m sorry work has been tedious. I am also doing well, I can’t really say but I was able to fix a problem that had been plaguing us for weeks. My boss was very pleased.
PanoptCon; Do you have any plans for the night by the way?
PanoptCon; RT is everything alright? You haven’t responded in awhile.
Guilt over not responding to her friend made her stomach churn even more.
RocketToad; I’m sorry! I got distracted by the news. My town is being terrorized by hit n’ runs and it’s just really scary.
RocketToad; Again I’m really sorry for not responding.
She frowned as her eyes darted back and forth between her phone and the on going news report. The video had shaken her, she imagines it is shaking everyone who sees it. They had gone out of their way to run over that person.
Andy had the upsetting thought of wondering if they were still alive.
BZZT
PanoptCon; Please don’t apologize. Are you going to be okay? I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to end up hurt.
It was stupid but she felt like she was going to cry. It was so stupid to cry over someone being worried about her. Wiping at her damp eyes she gave the screen a watery smile.
RocketToad; I think I'll be okay and thank you. I don’t really have anyone so it means a lot that someone is worried about me.
RocketToad; Really thank you and I worry about you as well.
Embarrassment at admitting far too much had her shoving her face into her hands. They were friends, yes, but she had never seen them. It probably wasn’t wise to divulge the fact that she didn’t have anyone to someone she has never met.
But those thoughts are shoved out the window when she glances at her cell. A stupid dopey smile spread across her face.
PanoptCon; Well you have me now and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.
__________
The sound of fingers on a keyboard filled the otherwise silent office. Andy squinted her eyes as she fixed the errors on the document. It needed to go out today and Elanne just simply couldn’t be bothered to do her job. This was her project not Andy’s but of course Andy wound up having to work on it.
It frustrated her to no end and the ever present thought of throwing in the towel was at the forefront of her mind.
BZZT BZZT
This document really needed to be finished but she had been working on it for the last hour. She could take a moment to herself. Flipping her phone over it notified her that she had a message from Lets Chat.
PanoptCon; This might come off as weird but do you live in Jasper Nevada?
They were right, that did sound weird. Narrowing her eyes at the text she let herself be a little smart for once.
RocketToad; It does come off weird. Why do you ask?
PanoptCon; I thought so. But I was wondering, there is this carnival that is coming into town tonight around 7 and I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to go with me?
Andy perked up at that. She had heard others talking about a carnival and had wanted to go. She hadn’t planned to though, she would be alone and where was the fun in that? But here was PanoptCon asking her if she wanted to go with them. Biting her inner cheek, her foot tapped against the floor. She glanced at the clock. It was three right now and if she hurried she could be home by four thirty.
Was she really considering meeting up with someone she had never actually seen in person? They had never exchanged pictures, she had never even heard their voice, and hell they didn’t even know each other's real names. All of this pointed to not going. But at the same time it wasn’t unheard of for people to meet up with online friends. Also it would be in a public space. Hundreds of people would be there.
Did she really need to be that worried?
Andy decided that no, no she didn’t.
RocketToad; So yeah I do live in Jasper and I would love to go with you. I can meet you there.
Andy was excited but she could use a smidgen of caution. It would be best if they convened at the carnival instead of either of them picking the other up. She was stupid, she knew that but she wasn’t an idiot.
PanoptCon; Perfect! I’ll see you there then!
Sending a quick text that she couldn't wait, she put her phone away and with a renewed sense of determination went back to fixing the errors. She needed to finish this quickly if she wanted to get ready in time.
__________
Picking at her shorts she fidgeted at the front of the park the carnival was taking place. She had to resist checking her phone again. Standing there she watched as people passed her. All laughing and seeming to enjoy their time. No one even glanced at her.
Caving she looked at Lets Chat
RocketToad; Hey I'm here! I got here a bit early. I’m by the entrance, you can’t miss me.
RocketToad; I’m the one in the mint green pullover with the red hair up in a bun!
Andy had sent that at six fifty, it was now seven fifteen and she had not heard back. She was getting worried.
Were they okay?
Did they get lost?
Darker thoughts were trying to creep their way into her mind but she wasn’t having it. PanoptCon was her friend. Something must have happened to them. Unlocking her phone she decided to send another message.
Maybe they were just running late. Andy knew how odd their working hours could be. She was sure something had come up.
RocketToad; Hey is everything alright? Did something come up?
She waited with baited breath. Hoping desperately that they would respond. Even if they couldn’t make it she would understand. It was alright if they couldn’t make it. Life gets in the way. It’s alright.
A bitter voice in the back of her head hissed that she was pathetic. So desperate for a connection with someone that she would do anything to keep the meager one she had. Her lower lip trembled as she scrubbed her forearm along her face. She should probably go. PanoptCon hadn’t gotten back to her and it was encroaching seven forty-five. Andy should just go home.
The sky was getting dark as she trudged along the dry grass to her car. Fall had settled in and while the weather was still pleasant the days were getting shorter. Her heart felt heavy as she got further and further away from the bright lights of the carnival. She had gotten here early but everyone else had the same idea. The grassy field that acted as a parking area was brimming with cars. It sucked to have to walk but it would be easier to get out with how far she was.
Andy rummaged for her keys as her hand ran over the hood of her vehicle. She could hear it unlock as she popped the door open. Tonight was going to be another lonely night. She had been so excited to meet PanoptCon.
To hangout with someone.
To do something besides go home.
BZZT
Her phone going off startled her as she nearly dropped her keys. Throwing them onto the passenger seat she frantically pulled out her phone.
PanoptCon; I am so sorry Andy! I’m here!
With no hesitation she messaged back immediately.
RocketToad; It’s alright! Where are you?
PanoptCon; Turn around!
She ignored how off that sounded. Ignored that voice in her head that was trying to tell her something was wrong. She ignored it all and Andy turned around. A huge smile on her face.
They were here!
She was going to meet her friend!
A large metallic looking thing was behind her. She could see faint purple hues emanating from it as her gaze traveled upward. Her neck craned backwards almost painfully until she was looking at a face. Andy blinked slowly, her brain sluggishly supplying her with the thought that she was looking at a person.
A giant metal person.
The creature's face lit up. It was a screen she noted and she couldn’t make out what was on it. Her phone buzzed and the titan seemed to gesture at her. Like it wanted her to look at her cell.
As if on autopilot Andy stiffly brought her head back down.
PanoptCon; It’s nice to finally meet you Andy. 😀
Her eyes drifted back up as one thought stood out in her mind.
‘Right, she had never told them her name.’
#transformers#transformers prime#soundwave#original female character#depending this could be viewed as romantic or platonic which ever you want to see it as#kidnapping#depression#metions of vehicular man slaughter#vehicons#loneliness#i think i made a pun with his online name
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💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticable? what changes when they’re in love?
Kieran: Kieran’s story is one of unrequited love. They love deeply and are very loyal, but most of that love has never been returned. They never met their mother, their father is rather indifferent to them, and their adoptive sister harbors complicated feelings regarding Kieran. They are a bit insecure when it comes to loving others, never really knowing if they love them back. They’ve never been in romantic love before, and with their added insecurities, they would have a hard time recognizing their own feelings and if their affections are returned, though their behavior towards you would slowly change as they start to care about you. They would have to allow themselves to be vulnerable with their feelings with you to see if their feelings are returned, and during a crushing period they’d be careful around you because they aren’t sure if you feel the same. Once they have confirmed you feel the same, they’d be much more gentle and relaxed around you than with strangers.
Aurynn: It likely wouldn’t be super noticeable, especially not to Aurynn himself. Aurynn is rather disillusioned with love and while he wants to love and be loved, he doesn’t know what that is supposed to look or feel like and doesn’t believe he is capable of loving someone or that someone is capable of loving him. It would take a lot for him to be able to believe someone actually loved him and to realize he loved them too. But once Aurynn realizes it, he’s going to be very protective of that love—it’s the first time he’s ever been in love and felt loved, and I don’t want to spoil all of his backstory and how that’s affected him, but being loved (whether platonically or romantically) is going to affect him very deeply and he will be extremely devoted to you, feeling he even owes his life to you.
Samira: Samira admires the MC as a friend, as a royal, and as a religious symbol. She would feel rather guilty about her feelings for you turning romantic as she knows you’d never be able to marry a commoner and she would feel her feelings for you are wrong and that she would have to try her best to suppress them. She also carries a secret regarding the circumstances of her father’s death which she fears would change how you view and treat her and that would add to her guilt over her feelings. As her feelings grow, her guilt and shame would be harder for her to hide and would affect how she interacts with you; she might start pulling away and closing herself off. If the MC were to return her feelings and every secret was laid bare and it didn’t change things, Samira—though she isn’t a shy person—would probably be a bit shy about the new development in your relationship as she figures out how to navigate this change.
Nihm: Nihm would struggle with accepting their feelings. They’ll feel terribly guilty since the MC is engaged to their charge’s older adoptive sibling. They are a romantic at heart and they are monogamous, so they’d suppress their feelings while you are engaged, feeling that they are wrong. They also are struggling with a very dark and difficult personal problem that scares them, and they’d fear that getting close to you could put you in danger. They wouldn’t be able to accept their feelings and act on them until you were out of your engagement and if you returned their feelings, they’d want to court you properly, taking the time to do things right with you.
Lucien/Lilith: Depending on whether you’d prefer to have a romantic or platonic relationship with L, L may or may not have a crush on MC from the start. They’ll be pretty forward about their interest in you and will cockily flirt and compliment etc but if MC dishes it back out to them they’re going to get pretty flustered. They don’t really expect you to feel the same so if you tease them they’re going to be embarrassed and assume you’re probably joking. They would prefer to act like their feelings are just a joke and they’ll keep you at arms length despite their interest in you because they fear you getting too close will result in a……disastrous outcome. Once in love, L will still be pretty cocky and flirty with you but they’ll be more confident when you reciprocate affection (though if you know what buttons to press you’ll still be able to embarrass them).
#stygian sun total eclipse#stygian sun: total eclipse#anon ask#sste asks#sste: aurynn#sste: kieran#sste: samira#sste: nihm#sste: lilith#sste: lucien
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"dr character analysis anon" again, hi. Saw the thing about Komamiki. I have...mixed feelings about that ship.
While Komahina does objectively have the most going for it, I'm personally a multi-shipper for Nagito. I think the fandom really sleeps on a lot of the ship potential he has with some of the other cast. Admittedly most of the potential is with male characters. But outside of some fun platonic BroTPs (like Sonia and Nagito), I'd say there are 2.5 good f/m ships for Nagito. Komanami, Komazumi, and depending on the writer, Komamiki. Because a writer I know who's played around with it over the years has done some pretty interesting stuff.
Now I say "2.5" because like...I have noticed a REALLY weird pattern with Komamiki. In that it seems to be the main Nagito ship pushed by fans who are incredibly harsh on the character and vocally against Komahina. Who are typically also Hinanami shippers. I've even pointed out examples to that writer, and they found it pretty baffling too.
Like one of the most insane takes I've ever seen (and the writer wholeheartedly agreed with me despite being only mildly into Komahina) was someone pointing to Komamiki as "a healthier alternative to Komahina". Because like...one of the most interesting things to explore about the ship is that it has a high probability of turning quite ugly and toxic. And to actually get a healthy Komamiki outcome requires quite a bit more work than most other Nagito ships. Like one of those good Komamiki stories I read had both of them go through therapy before meeting again as adults after Hope's Peak closed down (a kind of non-Despair AU).
Yet those detractors of Nagito seem to really think that they could just hit it off pretty quickly. And that Nagito's worship of Ultimates would be a boon to Mikan's self-confidence. As well as Mikan being a nurse making her a perfect partner for Nagito. Which is just...no. A happy relationship between Nagito and an Ultimate should have him gradually come to see them as a partner and an equal. And Mikan's FTEs show exactly why giving her a partner medically dependent on her is a TERRIBLE idea. She would need to come to terms with just how unhealthy her desire for control over her patients is before having a partner like that.
So yeah, tldr, I think Komamiki can be an interesting ship to explore, but I can't help but view some of the people pushing it with a bit of mistrust. Like I almost wonder if a handful of them are doing so in bad faith. And perhaps they actually do want Nagito to end up in an unhealthy co-dependent relationship where his partner has power over him.
ok see i agree with a lot of the points here ive always been interested in the komaeda mikan dynamic, just platonically. because i cannot see him liking women romantically (or her liking men romantically) at ALL like i just cannot see it. their dynamic is very intriguing from what little hints of it we get from chapter 3 its just that in my eyes they wouldnt be toxic lovers theyd be gods worstest girlfrenemies. i support the dynamic i do not support it romantically lol. and also id never trust a komamiki shipper like ever at all because of what you outlined . its like how youre always suspicious to trust junkan shippers because their dynamic can be interesting to explore but it has to be handled carefully to be brought justice yaknow.
#i have so many thoughts on koma/miki worsties dynamic i need to write about it so baddd. i just think they are homos sorry. theyre the#antithesis to mlm wlw solidarity they fucking hate each other sooo bad…..#but also its soo much more complicared then that etc etc etc u get it#ko’s danganronpa ramblings#asks#long post
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Would Princess Bubblegum and Marceline ever have children?
If you go strictly by canon they both give the impression that its not necessarily something they would definitely care for, but it's still an open avenue to explore in fic works, AUs and story concepts; as far as canon goes, we haven't seen any trace of beings in episodes set in the future that would suggest beings that can claim descent from PB and Marceline, like gum beings with demonic traits. It COULD be possible that there's plenty of them we just haven't seen yet, or might have left for outer space by that point (and its possible that's where PB and Marceline actually are, as its a nice continuation of Marceline's desire for company that she won't be afraid of abandoning her, and PB's desire for a stable state that doesn't need her constant micromanagement).
The most obvious question is a biological concern; can either of them have kids? The answer to that is that PB probably can't, at least in her normal state, while Marceline probably can. There's nothing to suggest she can't, to my knowledge. For Bubblegum, though, she doesn't reproduce as humans or similar creatures would, at least without modification to her body. She can most certainly do so, but the big question is why she might see a need to do so when creating life to her specifications is easier, more efficient and somewhat more predictable in her experience.
On a biological level, PB is for the most part pretty unique; she budded off an entity known as the Mother Gum, a large hive of mutated gum that has, to my knowledge, only produced PB herself and her brother Neddy, who is a dragon-like creature. (While she has a family, Bubblegum specifically made them herself to have a family.) It's never been shown if PB can bud off other gum beings. I wouldn't rule it out entirely, but it does beg the question if she would WANT to, or how to make that happen. The Mother Gum itself is... I think it was seperated and went skyward, though the information I've seen about it isn't too clear about whether it died or not. It might be a moot issue if PB can bud like that, though, since it took her a couple hundred years to be born after she gestated, and is probably outside the scope of what she would prefer.
Marceline is a more likely bet to reproduce in a conventional sense; she is biologically human (half-demon, at that) and while I don't recall if its ever been stated if vampires are incapable of producing young in AT, it might just be something that's never come up, and most of the vampires we DO see look quite similar to each other, which suggests either a form of reproduction or post-vampirizing they mutate into similar forms. It simply hasn't come up in canon, though I would say that wanting to be a mother would probably be a logical step in her character development as she feels comfortable enough in her life and stability for the future to want to be so, especially after coming to terms with her mothers love for her and bringing Simon back into her life.
(I would assume she would go out of her way to not speak with Hunson about him having grandkids at all by this point. You fucked up buddy and Simon is her dad now.)
So the most likely avenues for them to have kids would be adoption (there's certainly no lacking of kids across Ooo, though Marcy and PB might be weird or scary by their standards), artificially creating them (which might be the solution PB prefers, as well as properly hybridizing them... then again we got a whole species of hybrids from Jake and Lady Rainicorn so its probably not hard to do without super duper science), or conventional pregnancy with a bit of tweaking to make it work if need be.
One final thought, that can be applied in either a platonic or romantic angle depending on how you want to view it; them asking Finn to contribute to this, by either fathering their children (either for Marceline in particular or both girls in some manner) or contributing his genetic material to whatever procedure they favor. This works especially well if you interpret their broader dynamic as familial in nature, by taking that idea to its logical extreme.
You can further interpret it as them wanting to have some aspect of him intact in the inevitable event of his death. PB and Marceline are, if not immortal, EXTREMELY long lived and given how close they are to Finn and how much their lives are all intertwined, its easy to see them being increasingly more distressed by his inevitable death while they'll just keep going on; should he leave them children and other descendants, that can be something quantifiable that makes it easier for him to accept his fate.
Whether this specific turn of events would be romantic or not would depend entirely on how you handle it. Personally I love the idea of either making it shippy or handling it so that it's weird and hard to quantify and slot into a specific box, which is in synch with Finn, PB and Marceline's complex relationships with each other in general.
(I might also suggest that their actual offspring, using any or all of these above ideas, aren't necessarily something as simple as human/demon/gum mashups. Imagine Shermy being a distant descendant of them as a possibiltiy for 'wow that's weird, how did your genes do THAT?'. Ooo is a weird place.)
#adventure time#replies#ideas#fic ideas#queued#i would love to do some writing for that final concept#maybe i could do a story focusing around that??#food for thought anyways!
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Hi! I was wondering if I could request a matchup for pjo/hoo and narnia if that's alright!
She/Her, Straight
MBTI: INFP
Zodiac: Sun - Sagittarius, Moon - Libra, Rising - Sagittarius
Appearance: I'm kinda tall (5'8") and a bit more on the curvy side. I have long dark brown curly hair and brown eyes that my family always describe as "doe eyes". I'm pretty pale as well. I wear glasses sometimes but most of the time I wear my contacts. I have three lobe peircings in each ear. I tend to wear a lot of hoodies and baggie jeans. I love sweaters and band tees as well. I do like to wear makeup but when I don't have the time or energy to put it on I don't bother.
Personality: I'm pretty quite most of the time. I don't really tend to open up to people until I know them a little better. Once you get me talking though I talk a lot. I'm a pretty anxious person and I tend to overthink about just about everything. Although Im shy I do love building connections and bonds with people around me. I love going out with my friends and family and would rather spend most weekends out and about then cooped up at home. Depending on the person and the situation I can get pretty easily frustrated (which is something I'm definitely trying to work on!) I'm also the type of person that won't say something if I know it's going to hurt someone else's feelings. I'm 100% considered the hopeless romantic of my friend group and can be a bit boy crazy according to my friends haha.
Likes: Summer, the color blue, baking/cooking, baseball, swimming, reading, animals, Sunsets, stargazing, camping, shopping, History, listening to music
Dislikes: Math, bugs (I hate both of these with a passion)
Thank you so so much!! :)
Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!
In Heroes of Olympus, I match you with...
You and Leo are polar opposites and that’s exactly why your relationship works. You keep each other balanced and are there to help out with things the other isn’t good at.
He’s got an inane ability to break down peoples’ walls with little difficulty so however high or strong you think your internal defences are, this guy will worm his way in no problem. He’s also very careful no to break that trust. He knows what that’s like and doesn’t want you to feel the same.
However, despite your differences, there is one key similarity: neither you nor Leo ever stop talking. The other demigods have started making bets on who will break and period of silence first.
Would love stargazing with you! Leo will pull you onto Festus and take you for a nighttime fly, so you have an uninterrupted view of the stars.
On a side note, I think you’d get along amazingly with Percy as a platonic relationship. You’d bond over a lot of things like your shared love of summer, the colour blue, and hanging out with friends.
In Narnia, I match you with...
Unlike Leo, you and Edmund are a lot more similar. You both tend to overthink things and can get easily frustrated, but you open up around those you trust.
I see Edmund as a bit of a secret hopeless romantic as well. He’ll have to overcome his embarrassment about it first but once he gets comfortable with you, expect flowers, sunset picnics, and stargazing dates galore.
Loves going to the beach with you in summer. We all saw how much all of the Pevensies liked the beach when they returned to Narnia and Edmund is no different when he’s with you.
Will get rid of bugs for you. This is a bit trickier in Narnia where all of the animals can talk so sometimes you’ll catch him quietly debating with an insect, trying to convince them to move outside or at least into a different room.
Family is an important thing for Edmund, especially after the incident with the White Witch so he’s glad you value spending time with family as well.
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May I request some yandere self aware headcannons for Lilia, Silver, and Idia (separate) where the player while they do love then they only love them in a platonic way like how you'd love your family members
Self aware au
I do not take any responsebility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!
WARNINGS: Yandere themes, religion, spoilers for chapter 6 (Idias part), obsessive themes, threats
Lilia/Silver/Idia-Loving them in a platonic way
Honestly?
Every kind of affection is good affection for him
He has waited for you for such a long time so he is really starved for your affection
Whenever he is talking with Malleus and Silver about he jokes about you being one of their sibling
At least at first it was a joke
Now it’s more like a fact
(Don’t question them. Those metal toothpicks are sharp!)
You might even hear a few voicelines that shouldn’t be there
“Oh, my dear child has decided to visit again. How pleasant. How about a hug for your father?”
It’s wholesome if you ignore how many times you are the topic at the dining table
He sometimes wishes that he could hug you but there is something between you (the screen but he doesn’t know that)
If someone of the Diasmonia students is on your home screen they report everything they heard you say and saw you do
Like this they always know how the newest part of their family is doing
Please log in regularly so that your family won’t miss you too much
You are dear to them even if you aren’t related by blood
He is irked at the beginning that you only see him in a platonic way
Unlike Lilia he isn’t desperate enough so that he would accept any kind of affection from you
It takes time for him to accept the fact that everything he will ever be is at best a family member
But one he is done things go really well
Congrats, you got yourself a overprotective brother
What you do with this information is up to you
Things change for Silver though
He does have a deep bond with Sebek but they are more like very close friends
So a sibling that is also human is something very new to him
He was always surrounded by people that were at least 50% not human
So he is afraid that he might mess things up with his new sibling
Humans have different views on the world and even though he is one himself, he was raised by the logic of immortal beings
So what if he can’t be the brother you see in him?
Not being blood related doesn’t matter for Silver
You are his sibling and Lilia child and he will show his sword skills to those that dare to claim the opposite
Sadly he can’t be besides you 24/7 because of that something separating you two… doesn’t mean that you can hide things from him though
Silver needs to know how his dear sibling is doing after all
He never falls asleep when sitting on the dinner table because he wants to know everything about what you did and much more
For him it’s like you grew up with him which shows how much he cares about you
He is the one that takes it the worst
So the only one he ever dared to open up to that level only likes him in a platonic way?
Oh boy
He becomes even more of a shut in during the time he is coping with this fact
But after that?
He is happy that Ortho has a new sibling
You can decide which Ortho is meant
Do you also like gaming?
He would love to play a game with you!
But then again there is that weird barrier thingy between you two
Even after he has gotten over you only liking him in a way that is not romantic it still hurts a little
He was clinging to the hope that you might also like him the way he liked you
He was relying on that so much that it was also one of the reasons why he kept going
His home is rather troubling so you were always a presence that was his guiding light
The island of woe is a very isolated place so you are in fact some sort of religion there
So can you really be weirded out that he is heavily dependent on you and your affection?
#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#self aware au#yandere twisted wonderland x reader#yandere twst x reader#yandere lilia vanrouge#yandere lilia x reader#yandere silver#yandere silver x reader#yandere idia shroud#Yandere idia x reader#tw: yandere#tw: obsessive behavior#tw: religion#tw: threats
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ICEBREAKER Pt. 1
Read on AO3 (link in bio)
Part 1 | Part 2&3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7
Pairing: Crosshair x Reader x Hunter; Tech x Reader (platonic)
Wordcount: 2389
Summary: Tech watches on helplessly as his brothers' affection for you threaten to ruin the squad.
Warnings: cursing, yearning
You’re just as cold on the inside as the ice is under your boots. It crunches with every step you take, and your heart seems to beat along with the fall of your boots, aching. You feel unsteady, almost enough to miss the tracks running in the snow right in front of you. You pause and crutch down, gloved fingers dipping into the indentations as you grumble to yourself. It’s not even your turn to scope out the area where you’re setting up camp, and besides, there is a literal tracking genius in your squad - it really shouldn’t be you who’s out here in the snow and ice, eyes straining against the blinding white of the planet, fingers freezing off as you set up perimeter alarms. And yet you just volunteered for the less than ideal task without explanation, not understanding your own decision either.
At least Tech offered to tag along, but you suspect he’s simply had enough of his brothers for a while. Not that you can blame him.
“Fascinating.”
You sigh, internally begging him to stop talking as you stand, abandoning the tracks after deciding they most likely belong to a lone whitefang. You have enough on your plate right now, with Hunter still being pissy and Crosshair avoiding you like the plague, and silence would be much more preferable right now to listening to one of Tech’s rambles.
“Did you know that this moon’s surface is almost entirely composed of water?”
“No.”
“Despite the subzero surface temperature, there are subsurface oceans underneath the ice that are warmed by the moon’s internal heat.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I wish we could stay long enough for me to study the subsurface flora and fauna. There might be plants underneath the ice that-”
“Tech.”
“-that use chemosynthesis-”
“Tech!”
“What?”
He has the decency to look flustered, one hand gripping the datapad tightly, the other flying up to adjust his goggles as he peers up at you. You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but sometimes you just can’t help it. Sometimes, the confinement of the Marauder is enough to turn you into a ticking time bomb, irritated by the slightest seemingly innocent things. And you’ve had more than just mere sparks to flare your temper as of late.
...
His rifle is spotless, and yet he’s still scrubbing it as if his life depended on it.
Maybe it does, because if he jumps up and lowers his guard for a second, he’s out the ship and off to find you and Tech. Maybe you’re a fool sometimes, a god damn nuisance, a person he still couldn’t grow used to, but you belong with them now, you’re theirs, you’re his, and that means something to him. You frustrate him beyond reason, and he often grows callous and agitated because he refuses to allow himself to feel the emotions you elicit from him whenever you’re near him.
Even now, on an ice planet, the mere thought of you infects him with a sweet, sweet jungle fever that knocks him off his feet.
And he’s supposed to be angry now, Crosshair reminds himself. After all, you almost gotten yourself killed on Bracca, and almost broke him in the process.
“They’ve been gone for too long,” Hunter grumbles as he paces up and down like a caged nexu craving to run free. But lately Crosshair began to suspect that he craves something else, someone else, and the thought has his throat tightening in jealousy. He’s been watching, and he convinced himself that he’d misread the signs until he saw the same agitation reflect in his brother’s eyes that he himself has to wrestle with every day.
If it ever came down to your choice, he knows he wouldn’t be it, and he hates living with this knowledge.
Hunter has all the things you seem to like - unlimited kindness, longing looks, smirks that turn a little too soft when directed at you, broad shoulders he caught you staring at more times than he can count. Deep down, he’s still hoping it will never come to you having to choose, but it’s impossible not to wish to be in the centre of your attention. You drive him insane, but you also make him want to commit and stop fighting and lay down his weapons for once in his god damn life.
“Relax. They’re probably fine.”
The screen to their left lights up, and Hunter rushes across the ship in long strides before exhaling in relief. “The proximity alarms are online. They should be heading back soon.”
Crosshair sucks in a breath, worried about seeing his own emotions sitting behind Hunter’s eyes as well.
...
You were assigned to assist the Bad Batch for an unspecified period of time some months ago. You’re a versatile field agent, specialising in both stealth and combat casualty care, one of the few volunteers who were qualified enough to join the GAR. Oh, and you’re also clearly mistrusted by your new squad as they flip out the very moment you risk yourself in the line of duty. You’re not stupid, you weighed the risks carefully, and you trusted your abilities to see you through the job unharmed.
But ever since the incident on Bracca, you’re given the cold shoulder by most on the squad, and for once, the scenery matches your mood.
And yet Tech deserves better than to be cut off like that. He deserves to be listened to, and appreciated as the good man he is. You’re friends, but in moments like these, you think you don’t deserve his friendship.
“Look, I’m... I’m sorry, okay? But right now, I have too much on my mind to think about, umm, chemo...”
“Chemosynthesis?”
“Yeah, that.”
“I think I understand,” he nods, satisfied with your half-assed apology for the time being as he goes back to scanning the vast icy desert stretching as far as the eye can see. The Marauder’s lights blink in the background, orange against the dark blue of the growing darkness that surrounds you. It’s like a beacon, a sign that promises warmth, and you gaze at it longingly until you remember that you’ll have to go back to Crosshair’s scowl and Hunter’s disapproving frown and Wrecker’s awkward little smiles. Somehow, the ice is preferable once more, and the snow that just began to fall in soft flakes is little more than a mild annoyance.
“Well, aside from a few distant life forms-”
“Whitefangs.”
“Yes, most likely whitefangs - aside from those, we should be quite safe inside the ship for tonight.”
“Yeah,” you sigh. “You might be. I’m not the most popular with the squad right now, remember?”
“You are a valued addition,” Tech declares, and the certainty in his voice releases inside you the emotional equivalent of a sucker punch. All you can do is stand, and fight the sting of tears in your eyes. You’re confident, but you never in your wildest dreams imagined how difficult it would be to live up to the expectations of a special unit. You also know your worth, but it’s hard to keep on believing in yourself steadfastly when the rest of your squad doubts your every move. “Which is why the prospect of losing you elicits a rather severe emotional reaction in us. It is rare for regs to warm up to us as well as you have, let alone volunteers. Aside from the obvious tactical disadvantage losing you would mean, I believe it is a little more personal than that.”
...
Hunter knows something is off even before one of the alarms is triggered - whatever it is, it is within five clicks of the ship, making you and Tech plenty exposed before he could do anything. He was straining his ear simply to keep you all safe - so what if he accidentally heard your muffled voice, or the soft crunch of snow underneath your boots?
But now is not the time to be idle, and he knows it. He would never forgive himself if something happened to his squad. And to you, he corrects himself almost softly as he grabs his helmet and checks his weapons quickly. Despite the fact that he’s still angry about your previous carelessness, he cannot deny the forbidden yearning coiling in his stomach whenever you’re on his mind, making him just as nervous as hopeful. And to be fair, it happens more and more often as of late, which is both alarming and exciting as he never thought he’d ever have the luxury to feel this way about someone else. Sure, he knows love, he loves his brothers with all his heart even if he isn’t very vocal about it, but this is different. New, scary, exciting different, an effervescent and persevering tingling blinding all his senses.
Crosshair is beside him in less than a second, rifle in hand, silent, and they share a nod before lowering the ramp and rushing out into the freezing dusk.
When he picks up on your muffled voice, he seems to ignore everything as he breaks into a sprint towards you, hoping to reach you in time before you’re in danger. He almost misses the way Crosshair’s heartbeat picks up, the usually stoic man reeking with genuine worry as he looks through the scope of his rifle.
He can deal with this later, Hunter promises himself as he pushes down this uncomfortable feeling. But then he sees you and Tech, and he seems to forget about anything and everything - you have that unfortunate and awfully distracting effect on him.
...
“But Hunter yelled at me for being reckless for a solid hour. And Crosshair said he didn’t care if I wanted to get myself killed, but I should do it in a way that didn’t interfere with the mission. Seriously, what an asshole.”
“Nevermind what they actually say,” Tech waves his hand in mild annoyance. “Hunter was worried sick. Crosshair almost went after you. And they’re both too pigheaded to admit the real reason why they’re so worked up.”
“Which is?”
“Obviously they both view you as a potential romantic partner.”
There’s a moment of pause as you two stare back at one another before you snort and chuckle, shaking your head and crossing your arms over your chest as a futile attempt at staying warm. “Tech, you need to work on your sense of humour.”
“And you need to work on your observational skills and situational awareness.”
“My observational skills are exceptional,” you defend yourself, a finger held up in the air defiantly. “And my situational awareness is-”
“Lacking, as you didn’t seem to notice the whitefang return. I suggest we head back to the safety of the Marauder.”
Sure enough, the wild cat is there lurking amongst the ice dunes, its eyes glowing in the dark as they reflect the light of the ship. It shouldn’t pose a threat to you as it is alone, and relatively small, but you still consider wrestling with it instead of returning to the ship and facing the rest of the squad - somehow, even that feels like a fight more fair than the ones that await you upon your return. So you hold its gaze as it curiously inspects you, wishing to swap bodies and run away and avoid any more conflict. Before you can even think of returning to the ship, you hear quiet footsteps catching up to you.
“I thought I heard something.”
“It’s probably more curious than anything.”
Hunter unsheaths his vibroblade and twirls it in his hand so theatrically it makes you roll your eyes. He glances at you, shoulders all tense, ready to pounce at the slightest sign of danger, and even though his face is obscured by his helmet, you can almost see the disappointed frown sitting on his features. “You want to test that theory?”
“My money would be on the whitefang winning.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tech.”
“Any time.”
“Relax.” The distorted rasp of your commlink is not enough to drown out the smugness of the sniper. The stand-off ends when a single well-placed shot right before the big cat sends it sprinting away into the darkness. You all turn to find Crosshair standing by the ship, his rifle still aimed at the retreating form of the whitefang.
“Well, there goes my opportunity to finally have an interesting patrol,” you mutter to yourself as you all make it back to the Marauder.
“Do all of your patrols end in you staring down carnivores?” Crosshair snorts, clearly unamused.
“Only the good ones,” you fire back, deciding not to wait for any of them as you head inside. Crosshair is hot on your heels, another string of mockery sitting on the tip of his tongue, because fuck, you’re stubborn, but he’s not going to cave in and tell you how it makes him feel to see you in danger. He can’t, however, put up with being away from you either.
Hunter lingers a little outside. He has to set himself straight, to contain all the things he wants to say you that have nothing to do with scolding you about Bracca, to kill all the feelings that suddenly demand to be felt so desperately. He clenches and unclenches his fists by his side, pretending to survey the surroundings of the Marauder. Tech moves in the periphery of his vision, but instead of following you and Crosshair, he steps closer to Hunter.
“I believe the threat’s been averted.”
“Yeah. Good job on setting up those alarms, Tech.”
“No problem. Is there anything else you need?”
“No. You should head back inside. The last thing I want is for you to keel over with hypothermia.”
“That’s not how hypothermia works,” Tech mutters, his voice trailing off, eyes uncertain behind his goggles. He suddenly places a gentle hand on Hunter’s shoulder, making the sergeant glance at him.
“Hunter, I’m only asking this because I care about you all, but... how long do you think this can go on before one of you gets hurt?”
Tech’s words echo in his mind long after he’s rejoined the squad on the ship. And Hunter just stands outside in the snowfall, watching the last rays of light disappear on the horizon, wondering which one of you he’ll have to hurt when the push comes to shove.
#dottiechan writes#hunter x reader x crosshair#hunter x reader#crosshair x reader#the bad batch#the bad batch x you#the bad batch x reader#tbb x reader#tbb x you#crosshair#tbb hunter#tbb fanfiction#star wars#tbb tech x reader#tech x reader
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Okay, this will be probably long and with many errors (my english isn´t very good) But I saw several posts here on Lokius tag, talking about this ship as result of gay fetish, and about non existing chemistry and how this ship doesn´t make sense etc… And from what I understood there is tagged Lokius because of genuine interest to understand others point of view, so here is mine:
I wil try to explain where my frustration comes from, and how I feel about Lokius, Sylkie, AND representation + some other things which I saw here somewhere.
But first of all: I like Sylvie, I don´t hate sylkie shipers, and after so many years reading fan fictions, I don´t mind selfcest – I read weirder things. I have some issues with this ship (the mainlythe fact that it isn´t Lokius), but this is not one of them. Also, I am not about to tell anyone, they shouldn´t ship sylkie.Ship whatever. And I LOVED the show as a whole.
I just want to defend my standpoint, that Lokius does make sense, people shipping it does make sense and whether it will happen or not, (I don´t have my hopes very high, and I learned to be very skeptical in this regard ) it is more than just about crack ship, or fetish.
I´m honestly blown away that people are still surprised that this ship became a thing :D
First of all, let´s look at some romantic story telling and tropes:
I mean the way they introduced them in the first two episodes set the tone for all series and how the heck this isn´t romantic? Somehow there are all these romantic tropes existing in a show. They´re just there. Just chilling between Loki and Mobius and large portion of audience can´t even see them. (and some of those tropes were used for Sylki as well, so you could actually see them side by side)
For example:
1) traveling to the apocalypsis
2) breaking law/rules for the other
3) literally changing for the better thanks to the other
4) arguing like old married couple
5) saying secrets, personal things to the other
6) sharing glances, touches, visibly being happy around each other - in case of Loki happier then we´ve ever seen him before
7) being completely themselfs around each other
8) One knowing everything (even the worst) about other and still accepting him completely
9) teasing, being comfortable and domestic around each other
10) one being literally enthusiastic FAN of the other
11) Mobius defending Loki whenever he has a chance
12) Freaking amnesia trope that they pulled of in the end??? (It could be different Mobius, but point is he suddenly doesn´t know him - and Loki knows more, in contrast with the beggining)
13) the jealousy in ep4
14) Misunderstanding - when Mobius thought Loki betrayed him and Loki (thanks to Ravonna) thought Mobius betrayed him...
15) witnessing death of the other and being absolutely broken afterwards
16) The goodbye hug with romantic music in the backround
17) Saving life of the one (even when it means problems for the other ) - like Mobius saved Loki´s ass at least three times when he was trying to stop others from pruning him.
18) sharing deep conversations about meanings of life, freedom and how it would be fun to make some chaos and ride that fucking jet ski!!!
19) Inspiring the other
20) looking for each other (Mobius didn´t believe for a second, that Loki would die in the Void and the way how in the last minutes of the series Loki run through all places they were together when he was looking for Mobius...
and I could go on. Point is, even if they are not planning to make Lokius canon, all these things are used on a daily basis to describe romance in media and they are used here.
On top of that it´s just very poetic and cute, that this drama queen and powerful god of Asgard who looked down on people would find his match in someone, who is so quiet, ordinary on the first sight, and basically is just human from 90s, who loves jet skis. Mobius can´t even fight. But is highly inteligent and he also happen to be as good manipulator, such as Loki himself. - That´s why they work together so well. Mobius sees right through him and once Loki understands that, he drops his evil persona.
Almost nobody expected to ship it for real. But story itself and chemistry between them just made it probably the most exciting duo in the whole MCU.
And I mean it genuinely. Third episode, even though it was beautiful and Sophie was great in it (and is literally dipped in bisexual colors), is the least favorite for a reason. And that reason being, there is no interaction between Loki and Mobius whatsoever. Lot´s of people though that series slowed down a bit. Even when in fact there was more action, then when we watched Loki and Mobius working at the TVA.
(and let´s just talk about evil!Mobius narative for a bit and how some people say he is manipulative and toxic for Loki: show itself explore heavy themes and one of them is in Loki´s line: no one bad is ever truly bad and no one good is ever truly good. And as a theme in a fictional world, it is working as it should, for the story. When Loki and Mobius meet, one of them just killed lots of innocent people and destroyed almost whole city. The other one is a part of fascist organization – and in the beginning of the series they both believe what they´re doing is right. They´re both bad, they´re both good, they´re both broken. And they are changing with the help of the other.)
From all reactions I watched - and there was many of them, lots of people actually didn´t see dynamic between Loki and Sylvie as romantic in the third episode. So it´s not like Sylvie and Loki had unequivocally love story right from the start.
The only difference is that lots of people won´t see romantic tropes, when it comes to two men in a mainstream show – show that isn´t primarily about relationships and problems that queer people has to face. Because in super hero story and science fiction we have to warn audience, that they´re about to watch two man in love, right?
At this point It´s just frustrating really. There were many M/M dynamics that used similar story line, as for example Lucifer, or X-files, or Bone collectors. - But unlike those M/M pairings, no one was making fun of people for shipping main characters in these shows. But when it comes to two men suddenly you´ll see from all corners of the internet: “why can´t it be just platonic?” “There is not enough platonic relationships” “why can´t two man just be friends?” (They can and they almost ALWAYS are) and “if you think there something romantic between them, you´re delusional” “fetishist“ “And for god´s sake just let them be friends, Loki needs a friend more then....” oh wait, but Sylvie is allowed to kiss him. Sylvie doesn´t have to be just friend.
(And I must say, that I love Sylvie, I liked most of the interactions between her and Loki and I think she is a great character ((I hope we learn more about her in the future)) it just doesn´t work for me as well as Loki´s dynamic with Mobius. Maybe partly because of chemistry between actors, partly because combination of characters and they´re personality and also because I had two whole episodes to fall in love with the pair before Sylvie was even introduced.)
First of all: people can be friends and then evolve into lovers. Not only it is common romantic trope, but it is also the most realistic one. And those relationships are usually strongest.
second: If people want to see Loki in a platonic friendship so desperately, why can´t it be a woman for a change? They were acting like chaotic siblings for most of the episode three anyway.
The age gap aspect is also very funny. Owen is only about 12 years older (That is not that much. But I imagine, some people would get uncomfortable. But If it was man and woman, most of them wouldn´t even blinked. But two men, that has to be somehow automatically son and father figure dynamic) And If you want to dive into age of an actual characters, then good luck with that in a series about gods, variants and time travel. Almost nobody cares about age gap between Lucifer and detective Decker, or Bella and Edward.
On top of that, it was heavily implied, that Loki slept with older, silver haired guy in Ragnarok, so it´s not like he would have problem with that.
Different standards are projected in a way how we see romantic dynamics between fictional characters depends on what we are used to, how are we perceiving world around us, what we are expecting to see and ALSO, what we would like to see, that much is true. When people are used to make no differences between heterosexual and homosexual pairing, then everything what happens to the characters is measured with the same meter. (Even though I experienced queerbaiting many times (( Once upon a time, Sherlock, Supernatural, Good Omens – the last one hopefully is not the case, but I guess we´ll see)) I also saw lots of lgbt shows like Queer as folks and Sense8.)
And when we are not used to see it the same way, well… then it looks basically like that one comment under Castiel´s “I love you” scene on youtube, that said “what a beautiful friendship”.
If we forget about all that chaotic mess behind the scenes (all those articles and contrary messages) What is happening in a show between Loki and Mobius can be objectively considered romantic and what is happening between Loki and Sylvie in a series can be objectively considered platonic (until the kiss) and vice versa. And then to see comments about how absurd it is to even think they have chemistry, and about gay fetish - it´s hard to swallow. I read posts about absurdity of a ship and how there is absolutely nothing that would suggests romance. Well there is, actually. But whether creators are going to work with it or not, that´s something we can only speculate. They already made Loki officially bisexual. So why should it be so absurd to assume, that there is an actual possibility of romantic subplot between Loki and Mobius? Oh right… it´s Disney and Marvel we are talking about.
So on a subject of bisexuality: Bi people can date whoever they want. But It is a little frustrating, when there is so many heterosexual pairings in the mcu and disney but when there is a promise of lgbt character (speaking of endgame) we get one line about date from a man we´ll never see again.
And when there is a promise of lgbt representation you can´t even blink during movie, or you´ll miss it (Star wars, Beauty and the beast).
And then Loki said “A bit of both, I suspect the same as you”. And I won´t lie, I was happy. And I think creators made biggest step yet with this one line (which is honestly terrible, that “a bit of both” coming from Loki of all people, is the biggest step forward.) But they played it VERY safe. Obviously, both Loki, and Sylvie are bisexuals, and in three episodes, we had Loki flirting with female flight attendant, Sylvie talking about her relationship with POSTMAN and then they fall for each other. So the only thing that suggests they are really as bi as Lamentis 1 is that little sentence, that can be edited out, or easily overheard. It´s the bare minimum. And I think that frustration with how freaking slowly we´re moving into some progress is understandable. From all those great M/M dynamics I talked about, those, that could make great love story, nothing happened, because too many people “don´t mind gays but don´t need to look at them” or are scared for their children. In 2021.
It is not a fetish to wish for a gay love story in superhero movies/series. (But anyway, I don´t think there is anything bad about it. Some men like to watch lesbian porn, some woman like to read gay porn. AO3 wouldn´t be were it is today, without people reading and writing slash :D – but that has little to do with what we actually see on tv)
I´m not delusional. As much, as I love these two characters together, I know how little chance it has. I´m not delusional. I´m just in the future, old and tired, waiting hundreds of years for at least one of my OTP to finaly become a fucking canon.
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The Way To A Man's Heart
Pairing: Ron Weasley x Reader
Setting: Half-Blood Prince; For the purposes of this one-shot, Ron dated Lavender in OotP
When you and Ron had started dating, a lot of people were convinced it would not last. Apparently, the school cohort was under the impression that he and Hermione were going to be the Hogwarts power couple. You could kind of see where they were coming from; there had been a lot of petty jealousy on both sides and there had been a sense that it was playground pigtail pulling. And yet, you couldn't help but think that those people were also selectively blind to how toxic that sort of relationship could be. Honestly if it wasn't for Harry, you didn't believe Ron and Hermione would still be friends six years down the line.
As it was, you had come to be somewhat of a secret friend to Ron Weasley. When he was at odds with his two best mates, he could find some solace in your company. Whether it was playing exploding snap, hanging out on the quidditch pitch (even if your feet stayed firmly on the ground some of the time), or - despite what others would believe - doing homework together in the library.
As a consequence of spending so much time with him one to one, it didn't take long to learn some of Ron's tells. When he was really, truly upset, he went off his food. When he was irritated, he preferred something like a pumpkin pasty or a sandwich, something he could tear into. When he was happy, he'd try some of everything, content with a little of lots until he went in for seconds. When he was feeling a bit down or worried, his preference of choice was a hearty stew followed by a warm apple pie with ice cream, something that reminded him of home.
This particular day it was sunny and one of the warmest thus far. Spring was slowly transitioning into summer, and with it exam season was upon the students of Hogwarts. Sixth year didn't count in the same way that seventh year would, but your continued presence in all your chosen subjects depended on passing all of their exams. And so, along with the sunshine, fifth years and up were also being subjected to the heat fueled by their ever increasing panic, which made sitting outside with a nice cool breeze all the more tempting.
You had been attempting to study in the library, but the librarian had all the windows firmly shut and it got a bit too stuffy for your liking. You checked out the books you required for your first exam, and ambled down the corridors in search of an empty courtyard. It was as you were descending the stairs to the first floor that you noticed a certain redhead stomping towards the doors that led outside, with the proverbial storm cloud raging above his head.
Concerned, you followed. He didn't slow his pace or give any indication that he knew he was being followed, something which raised even more alarm bells. Ron, as a by-product of living with the twins, was usually very aware of someone being on his tail. Ron's long legs carried him to the shore of the Black Lake. He followed the edge around to a little outcrop coated in pebbles and stones. These he grabbed at roughly, before launching them out towards the water with a growl.
"Ron? Are you okay? What's happened?" You approached cautiously, making plenty of noise as you walked closer so that your voice didn't startle Ron into accidentally throwing any remaining stones at you.
"Hermione bloody Granger is what happened!" He yelled.
You made a soft sound of understanding at his near shout. "Want to tell me what she did this time?"
Ron sighed, tossing the last stone into the water as he stared at the horizon for a long moment. Then, he sat down on the roots of a nearby tree and started to explain.
"I was revising for transfiguration. Had one of my old essays out for vanishing vertebrates, you know? Figured looking at where I went wrong on something that's bound to come up on the exam would be a good idea."
"I take it Hermione had different views on the matter?" It really had become something of a thing that your entire year and to an extent the years below knew. Never, ever do anything to get Granger started on how you should be studying, and Ron's mirthless chuckle did nothing to change your previous notion.
"She freaked the hell out. Started having a go at me for having got a P on an essay in the first place, told me it was useless trying to learn from rubbish like that, and then told me if I'd followed her revision schedule I'd have already covered the topic and at this point should be onto the practical wand work," Ron spat venemously.
"You know she's wrong, don't you?" It wasn't uncommon for Hermione to tell Ron that he was doing something wrong, and you knew that being told something repeatedly would make the thought that much harder to shake. How many more times would Ron be able to take unproductive, callous criticism from a snobby know-it-all before the thoughts became a fundamental part of his psyche?
"I know but... she just makes me feel like an idiot! I don't get the theory behind magic at a drop of a hat like she does! Hell, most of us don't. But you make one little mistake in your homework and she gets so bloody condescending," Ron sighed. Many thought he was lazy when he tried to get Hermione to do his homework. In truth, it was so he knew what she was expecting in the essay to avoid a rant - her, not the teacher!
"It sounds like it's gotten worse than normal. Actually it sounds like how she behaved when you dated Lavender last year," you commented. To be fair, dating was a very loose term for what Ron and Lavender got up to. It was too public to be just friends with benefits, but there weren't really any romantic feelings. The PDA was a bit much at times, but it was rarely ever Ron that initiated those instances.
"Ugh, don't remind me. I still have the scars from them birds! Mental, she is," he exclaimed. And yet, as you looked closely, you can't help but notice the tips of his ears were getting very red.
"Wait a minute - you're not dating Lavender again are you?!" His eyes widen in shock and he shakes his head, waving his hands in adamant protest.
"Merlin, no! I don't even - " He pulled a face of disgust. "I mean, I dunno, can't believe I dated her in the first place I suppose. Seems like a lifetime ago."
He was lying (you could tell from the way he fumbled for an explanation), but that was okay. You knew the sentiment was true even if he was sidestepping what he was honestly thinking about. You were curious, but you weren't going to push it. This wasn't the time for an interrogation by any means. Thus, you decided to change the topic entirely.
"Do you still feel up to studying some transfiguration? I have some books from the library and all my notes. I even have some cauldron cakes." When he refused both the studying and the food, you smiled sadly at him. "Okay. Well how about we go down to the quidditch pitch?"
And that was exactly what the pair of you did. You didn't feel like flying, so you sat in the stands and watched as Ron flew for a couple hours. He zoomed around the pitch in patterns you recognised from quidditch practice drills, before enchanting the practice quaffle so that he could work on his keeper skills. You called Dobby when you were sure Ron wasn't looking, and when Ron eventually joined you in stands, it was to find a delicious bowl filled with a generous helping or rhubarb and apple crumble waiting for him.
"I thought you might have worked up a bit of an appetite. Some of those drills looked tough," you admitted when he stared silently in surprise, mouth gaping.
"It's like you read my mind!" was all Ron managed to say before he was practically inhaling the food, shovel sized spoonfuls disappearing with complete gratitude no matter how swift.
"I just know you, Ron," you laughed. It should gross you out how much he ate so quickly, but his only fault at foodtime was talking with his mouth full. None ever spilled on his clothes, and his chin was remarkably clean.
When the pudding was half gone, Ron slowed down enough to process what you had said. "How d'you mean, you know me?"
"Well, when you're really upset, you don't want to eat, but flying makes you happy. When you've had a fight with Hermione, you usually tend to prefer something filling and pies and crumbles are your go to when you're feeling a bit down still."
He stared at you like he'd never seen you before. No one else had ever noticed - or at least mentioned - knowing what he liked to eat and when. Oh sure, lots of people had commented on his appetite and knew him not having much of one was a sign something was wrong, but the nuances? What food went with what situation? That was all you.
And, he realised as he ate in companionable silence next to you, this wasn't the first time you knew what he wanted to eat after having a falling out with his friends or stressed out about exams. The cauldron cakes you had in your bag, he liked to eat them when he was feeling nervous about school work. He rarely saw you eat them though so... did you keep some in your bag just for him? And there were all those other times too, when you just seemed to know when he was actually hungry and when he was just bored.
There was a plethora of things unique about his relationship with you that he adored, and he had sort of had thoughts that weren't strictly platonic about you, but this little insight into how much you knew about the things that went unsaid was what made what he was about to do next feel so incredibly right.
"Er, Y/N, I was wondering... would you like to go on a date some time?"
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law school ep 15 (and solhwi overall)
gonna put in my two cents for the line that singlehandedly caused the solhwi nation to implode.
(apologies in advanced because my thoughts are too messy for me to neatly put it in a post but i want to say it anyway—also this is just the way i view solhwi so please don't come screaming at me if you disagree!)
i'm a diehard solhwi shipper and i love their relationship, and think they have one of the best relationships out there in the fictional world, and also definitely one of the healthiest. but to me, their relationship extends far beyond the romantic relationships we so often see portrayed in media.
kim beom said in one interview that this relationship between HJH and KS is kin to that of a soulmate relationship that's not necessarily romance, and i find myself agreeing with that notion. while soulmates are typically used to describe romantic partnerships, it doesn't necessarily have to start with romance. (many people have pointed this out in other posts so i won't go further down the fact that HJH x KS's relationship is a friends-to-lovers slow burn but you get me.)
but in fact, this bond between soulmates (or at least how i define it), in my opinion, is far beyond what we usually see in romance. as in, it's not just someone you like, but it's someone whose changed your life in a certain way. i know some may be averse to the idea of having to change for the one you love because loving is the notion of accepting someone in spite of the person's flaws, but what i mean is that when you love someone in this way, you want to change because of them. you see them, and they inspire you, and you grow in your own way. once again—growth is a very subjective idea, and even for HJH and KS we can see them grow in different directions—but we can clearly see how they have impacted each others' lives.
it's quite obvious, imo, how KS's life has been impacted by HJH's. she's,, not the "smartest" out there, and we can't deny that. we know she probably won't make it through law school if not for HJH's help. HJH is always there, a step ahead of KS, but he's not just being proud about it, instead opting to help her understand what the laws are and why they are the way they are, which KS especially needs, being a particularly empathic person. but we've also seen that HJH has helped KS beyond simply academics. he's always been there to protect her—almost all their interactions have proven that (the camera outside her house, the hungover soup, the switching seats—i think literally everything?..?..?.??). maybe she doesn't necessarily need protection, but surely thanks to his protection she's much better than she might've been without, especially knowing her terribly miserable life.
but i often wonder why HJH is so heart-eyes of KS of all people. i mean, i know love is love and sometimes you just catch feelings, but i believe there's more meaning behind their relationship than meets the eye. like you don't just look at someone so lovingly for it to be just a crush, y'know? the first reason that comes to mind is clearly simply KS's amicable personality. she definitely stands out: she's not that intelligent, struggling and barely surviving, but she has insane passion to pull through even despite truth attacks (like SJH saying she should reconsider her life decisions, saying that a chance of passing isn't something to be proud of, etc). she treats everything with such a positive outlook, and, well, KS is just an adorable human, so it's hard not to have a little crush her.
what makes KS stand out most, the core of her personality, is that she has hope, despite everything. she's been through shit because of her circumstances—left by her twin sister without a word, been in juvie, has no money to deal with it—you know, entire backstory. but instead she fights her weakness, even though she feel like it should've been her sister, even though she's not smart enough, because she has to do this. she keeps going, even though things keep turning out for the worse for her, holding hope when circumstances are most dire. but why? because she strives for justice. she doesn't want to be wronged. she wants the law to own up its mistakes, wants to make sure the law gets its own revenge. that's why she wants to work in law, yeah? and so she keeps fighting, even when hope seems lost.
okay but why did i mention this? because i think this is what HJH sees in KS. why? because this is what he needs.
HJH had lost hope. in an episode (i don't remember which), he mentioned he doesn't trust anyone, and it's obvious why: his uncle. it's the worst kind of betrayal that causes your ideals being burned down. he realized that even people who work in law can be corrupt, people who he thought he could trust above all others, people who seemed utterly good. and then he just begins to regard everyone with baseline amity, and no further. many have pointed out he doesn't have real friends (other than KS), even though he looks outgoing and friendly. it's not quite shown, but it must've been lonely. and a lonely fight, trying to prove that he will be a better prosecutor than his uncle was. and we know that HJH's nature as a person is to be calculating, objective, seeing things through facts and statistics; it's what makes him so intelligent. what that also makes him is realistic, and more often than not, that is almost equal to pessimistic—because reality just... sucks, as has been proven by the betrayal of his uncle. and further into the drama we see only more corrupt people in the business, so we certainly don't get out hopes fueled.
there's scarcely anyone in what we see who's actually pursuing law because they're passionate about the law, or if they are, they're not often very... human in doing it. examples: YJH, SJH, KSB are all very cold and indifferent types, people who really just come and do what they do, focus on studies (in the case of YJH, his teaching), and interactions with others are treated as "lesser". SJH and KSB in particular—they're good at the law, sure, but they seem to prioritize their position in law first and foremost. SJH and KSB don't hesitate to call out their losses, and even would rather not intervene for justice if it meant their position would be compromised. not that they're bad characters, not at all; i mentioned them simply to compare them to KS, who, despite not having the brains to do half the things she's supposed to do and earning herself nosebleeds everytime she tries, still does what she does for justice, passionately, hopefully, all for righteousness.
okay this was longer than i intended WHEW so i'll cut to the chase: long story short, HJH needs KS because KS gives him hope. hope of a humanity where people actually work in law and choose to fight for justice against all odds, even if the system itself is infiltrated by filth and corruption. KS is someone who, in her first lecture, was grilled the fuck out by Yangcrates, yet the first thing she does after she nearly throws her guts out is ask HJH whether he can tutor her. she does not ever lose hope, and that, truly, is what stands out to HJH, what he needs.
and KS needs HJH because he is her hope as well! hope by itself does no good if you can't actually do something about it, and KS knows this. HJH, despite seemingly just being someone to help her in her studies, is someone she needs if she wants to achieve her goals, if she wants to get back on the law the right way. which is why, in the end, KS and HJH are, while independent in their own way, dependent on each other in terms of their growth—KS gives HJH hope in humanity, HJH helps KS realize (make real) her hopes that would have been dreams if not for her.
oh my god i've rambled on this long without stating my point: THE DAMN LINE.
HJH saying he owes her makes sense in this light because, indeed, KS's positive outlook in everything keeps him going. it gives him a reason to keep wanting to work in law, because she is a reason to believe in goodness and justice, that there will be people who keep fighting for justice against all odds. he owes this to her—and perhaps that is why he goes all out to help her achieve that hope, perhaps that's why he goes out of his way to care for her. because they are each other's missing puzzle piece, the other half. soulmates.
sigh ok this was long ONE FINAL POINT. everyone has their own opinion on a solwhi ending, so i might as well chip in mine.
certainly, as a solhwi shipper, i want them to end up together. i believe they're really the best of soulmates, two people who just complement each other so well. but in the current timeline, them having a romantic relationship out of the blue would be,,, simply unnecessary, imo. they're still very much in the stage of friendship, and are both dealing with their own personal baggage, that shoving a romance would just take away the focus from their growth. i personally think even this platonic relationship is already a beautiful one, one that outshines many of the romances i've watched, even without having to flood everything under the romance light—which i think many can agree with me, seeing as how solhwi is shipped so much. i still want to see them end up together, though, so SEASON TWO LAW SCHOOL MANIFESTATION. please please please directors writers make it happen i am begging you. thank you.
sorry for this long ass post, thank you if you do read it and leave any thoughts! again this is just my opinion, you're free to let me know if you think differently or anything, or shoot me a message if you want to scream about solhwi or whatever i'm just solhwi brainrot 24/7 🤸🏻♀️
#sorry this was so long i have absolutely no self control when it comes to law school#law school#law school jtbc#law school kdrama#로스쿨#solhwi#han joon hwi#kang sol a#kang sol#kdrama#kim beom#ryu hye young#mine#analysis#opinion#netflix
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You ever notice how similar Xie Wang and Han Ying’s stories and character arcs are?
A warning here that this contains spoilers for all of Word of Honor/Shan He Ling. Stop reading now, I reference a ton of shit.
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I was actually discussing a couple fic ideas with a friend a few weeks ago, and I got to wondering after thinking about those parallels I could see -
Does Han Ying x Xie Wang exist as a ship?? Is that a thing?? That exists?? Can it please exist??
It has so much potential. There's so many narrative parallels with these two characters.
They're two people who deserved better than their respective endings, who never got what they wanted, because of the manipulation of men who wanted power and would stop at nothing to get it (Jin Wang and Zhao Jing). The manipulation of those who saw them as less then what they were.
They also have similarities in their relationships with their "mentor figures" - Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, and Xie Wang and Zhao Jing. They have quite a lot of differences too, enough that their lives parallel each other instead of mirror, and I just think that their personal experiences could make for a very compelling storyline if these two were to interact. It would be an interesting road to a development of a potential relationship, and moreover an opportunity for both of them to learn from the other and heal.
And real talk? I just want the both of them to be happy tbh (and of course that obviously doesn't need to involve a romantic relationship - I just have no self control. I'd be just as ecstatic about a really good friendship though).
I also know they never interact in the drama - but then again these two are also literally dead in the drama. Reality is what you make it 🤣🤣. And considering how close the Scorpion was working with Tian Chuang - honestly I'm pretty sure you can't really say they haven't met either.
So anyways, I guess reasons why I think this would be a good ship dynamic:
First of all, their relations with their mentors and how it's similar to each other and also not. The resulting potential for mutual support:
Han Ying's dearest wish is to be a disciple of Zhou Zishu's, as he says plainly in that one episode.
The thing is, there could be quite a lot of subtext taken from that - I've read interpretations that he's in love with Zhou Zishu, or at least has romantic feelings for him - a strong crush possibly - which I can plausibly see (I can also see it just being platonic, which I will talk about later). But yeah, a romantic interpretation just because of how strong his devotion towards Zhou Zishu is. The wistful looks?????
In that kind of situation, IF the romantic feelings are two-sided instead of one-sided - which I would like to go on the record and say that with Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, I don't believe it is - and as a result actually becomes something, that type of relationship would not be the most healthy, because there's a very strong imbalance of power. Even if the mentor figure genuinely cares and actively minds the mentee's feelings - the mentee still undeniably has that level of hero worship - it won't ever be equal. We can see that already in Han Ying's case, Zhou Zishu repeatedly tells him to stop treating him with so much formality because he's not the leader anymore and yet Han Ying still remains deferential.
In that interpretation, if that were the case of it being two sided - Han Ying would have quite a lot of similarity of experience to Xie Wang's relation to Zhao Jing -
And here I can talk about how Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship is uh. Kinda sus tbh. Like. That doesn't look like a healthy or platonic father-son relationship and it gives me the creeps. In Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship, I'm more inclined to believe there's some semi-incestous yifu fucking going on than anything platonic, there's just so many sus moments - and if I'm not mistaken they dubbed over a line in the show where it was basically stated plainly that it's not a platonic relationship. Or at least - Xie Wang doesn't view Zhao Jing platonically (and I don't believe Zhao Jing discourages it at all, if anything he actively encourages and guides it to make Xie Wang dependent on him). So we got another setup where it's potentially one sided romantic feelings/hero worship. Or maybe two sided for them, who knows.
But the thing is, while I talked about unhealthy romantic relationships in my section about Han Ying, a fundamental difference between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships with their mentors is that Zhou Zishu's relationship with Han Ying would be a lot healthier. A LOT healthier. So much fucking healthier, I cannot emphasis that enough. And that's mostly because their relationship is not two-sided, and because he sees Han Ying as a person.
He cares about Han Ying a lot but not as anything beyond platonic - he views him as a student and a subordinate and protects him as such. Han Ying on the other hand could have romantic feelings for Zhou Zishu. Not in love per se, it feels to me like it could be a mix of a really strong crush with really strong hero worship. I don't think Han Ying truly knows Zhou Zishu's other aspects of personality (yet?? I guess because if we're gonna hypothetically bring both Han Ying and Xie Wang back to life he probably will eventually get to know Zhou Zishu properly), because I doubt he ever showed anything beyond his stern assassin leader type of persona to his subordinates. He was likely caring yes, but in a way that keeps people at a distance. So, a mentor-mentee type of relationship where Han Ying could be crushing quite hard on Zhou Zishu. But still a healthy one, as Zhou Zishu, one - doesn't intend to pursue a romantic relationship with Han Ying - and moreover, although might know about his feelings, or his devotion at least(tbh you'd have to be blind not to), he treats them, and him, with respect. He doesn't try and manipulate Han Ying, or use his emotions for his own purposes. He sees Han Ying as his own person. His affection and regards towards Han Ying remains unconditional, even if Han Ying messes up or doesn't follow instructions. Instructions that, btw, repeatedly try to keep Han Ying out of the line of fire, and makes it clear that Han Ying is to put himself first.
Everything Zhao Jing does however is solely to cripple Xie Wang and make him wholly dependent on him. He's been grooming Xie Wang from such a young age, and his positive regard and care is ALWAYS conditional. As soon as Xie Wang messes up, he takes it away as punishment, and because of how Zhao Jing's made himself the center of Xie Wang's world, that action is devastating to him. He subtly encourages and toys with Xie Wang's regard for him for his own purposes, he tries to make Xie Wang jealous so he works twice as hard to earn back Zhao Jing's attention. And as we see with his intention to eventually discard Xie Wang as soon as he is no longer useful - he doesn't view Xie Wang as a person. He's merely another tool in his arsenal.
The reason why I wrote such a long ass analysis about the similarities and differences between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships is because as I mentioned before, one reason I think this would be a pretty interesting ship and dynamic is how these two could help each other. At first, it might be more Han Ying helping Xie Wang.
Xie Wang hasn't ever experienced what a proper and healthy guardian type relationship is like, or even what it means for someone to choose him first. He's a victim of abuse, and should he manage to survive the avalanche at the end of the show, there is potential for him to start to undo all the damage that Zhao Jing has inflicted on him all those years, especially if the man is truly no longer around. And I think Han Ying would be in a very good position to offer him support in that journey. Moreover, if Han Ying has had an experience similar to that, it could be the reason he would want to offer support to Xie Wang. He's experienced a lot of what Xie Wang has experienced, but he's also seen what it is for someone to genuinely care about him, and as a result likely has a more healthy view on that type of relationship. They're similar enough for Xie Wang to potentially not want to push Han Ying away if he ever offers his help, but also dissimilar enough that Han Ying could offer new avenues of thought.
At the same time, if you just read Han Ying and Zhou Zishu's relationship as a really strong type of hero worship, this dynamic could make sense too. Han Ying clearly looks up to Zhou Zishu quite a lot, and on top of that, Zhou Zishu in a way represents everything Han Ying has wanted and couldn't have - aka a family and a mentor figure and a home to call his own. Regardless of if it's purely platonic or not, it's still an infinitely healthier relationship, a parallel to Xie Wang's experience, so the potential of the offer of support remains the same.
Second of all, similarity in origin and life experiences, which is a small thing tbh but still an important thing:
Han Ying is someone I don't know a lot of background on tbh - I presume he doesn't have a family anymore, and somehow ended up in the Window of Heaven. I've read fics where Zhou Zishu was the one to save him at some point and offer him a position in the assassin group, and I'm inclined to take that as a plausible head canon (unless it's actually canon, idk I haven't read tyk yet).
So, in bare bones, he's an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking member of an assassin group.
Xie Wang is also someone who no longer has a family - we don't know that much about his background either, but I presume he was happened upon by Zhao Jing in some way - I'm not sure at what age tbh, is it assumed that he was raised by him?? Or maybe in teenage years??
Whatever it happens to be, Xie Wang was taken in, maybe even "saved" by (although if you ask me, he'd be better off without) Zhao Jing.
So in essence it is the same thing as Han Ying's experiences, an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking (or the leader of) an assassin group.
And not only that, as I mentioned from the beginning, these two both realize and know, eventually, that they’re being used by men who are desperate for power (Jin Wang, Zhao Jing).
I mention this actually as just an extension of my first point, because while I mentioned that Han Ying very obviously can support Xie Wang in that particular “past grooming and abuse” aspect, there are probably still many hidden traumas and scars for these two from the lives they’ve both lead. Their similar experiences lead to similar choices which helped shape who they are, and as a result, I think these two could truly understand each other and where they’re coming from.
Their personalities would fit pretty well with each other. I think:
I don’t know if my interpretation on how these two are is accurate tbh, so feel free to let me know if you think it’s out of character.
To me, Han Ying seems like someone who would be pretty calm around the people he cares about; responsible, smart, eager to learn, with a steady sort of presence. He seems like someone who would wear their heart on their sleeve around people he trusts too, but not in any overtly obvious way. I think the reason why I get that impression is that, upon rewatch, I could plainly see his worry about Zhou Zishu in episode one, but when I first started the show, I somehow missed it entirely. Han Ying also didn’t show any qualms about admitting to Chengling that he wants to be Zhou Zishu’s disciple - which can be a very personal piece of info. The way he was around Zhou Zishu, and Wen Kexing also gave off an air of innocent eagerness to do well in his accomplishments and for approval. I’m not saying he’s always like this, because I’m rather certain he has a darker side too - as we see with all the characters, no one is without their traumas and no one is without artifice or without complexity. They’re all grey moral in a very human way, and Han Ying is no different. We’ve seen before too that once he’s got his game face on, the man is pretty competent and also ruthless (his conversation with Gao Chong for example) - I don’t think he could be any less if he’s that high up in the Tianchuang hierarchy. But at the same time I can also see him being a bit of a very subtle disaster (almost?? Slightly dorky??) in certain situations, and we can see that kind of peek through when Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing hijacked his kidnapping attempt and he was kind of like uhh. Okay so, I’m in a choke hold, I think that might be my former commander, so like. Let them go. It’s actually really funny cause while Wen Kexing was telling Gao Chong and Chengling to hurry up and leave, I swear you could see Han Ying contemplating his entire life.
The face of a man confuzzled.
Xie Wang on the other hand, is someone that’s more impulsive, liable to push or be mischievous, less of a steady personality and more like - for lack of better word - an absolute gremlin. A pretty murderous one. It’s a bit hard to tell all aspects of how Xie Wang is tbh, since he has many different mannerisms while talking to different people. With Zhao Jing he has a very subservient, almost dutiful, childlike and innocent air about him, and a sort of. Sa jiao (撒娇) type of demeanor. He craves approval from Zhao Jing, and is just generally very baby around him, and I’m really not sure how much of that is how he actually is and how much of that is him learning that this is the best way to get Zhao Jing’s attention. And tbh I don’t think all of that is grooming, I think Xie Wang probably does have the potential to be as soft or as innocently childlike and happy with others he cares about (just hopefully in a lot healthier way). I think we see his soft side a little with Qianqiao when he gives her the cure. Despite that though, we can still see other aspects of him surface. He makes suggestions and pushes when he thinks Zhao Jing’s refusals are unreasonable, he just goes and does his own thing sometimes (um usually murderous things. Like when he killed Song Huai Ren and told Zhao Jing he’s a traitor). He’s mischievous about some of his actions (after literally stabbing a man, ‘what? he said I should kill him if I have the ability’). He’s a lot more obviously gritty and aggressive and morally grey than Han Ying appears, which I think adds dimension to his character when added in with everything else. He’s also very smart, competent, ruthless - obviously since he runs the Scorpion, but he’s surprisingly fair and almost? Honourable? In certain aspects? And like Han Ying, he does somewhat wear his heart on his sleeve, retains that eagerness to do well and is somehow not as jaded as he could be, as he still finds the capacity to eventually care for a stranger (Liu Qianqiao).
I may be oversimplifying how these two could be, but with their personality types I think they have a lot of potential both in a romantic relationship or as close friends. And in a way that at first glance would probably be puzzling - how in the hell did these two become friends/get together (lmao you’ll see Han Ying in his rather sensible disciple robes and then Xie Wang is just there in his braids, dramatic black outfits, winged eyeliner, etc. 🤣🤣😅😅) but on closer thought, makes sense. Han Ying could be a more steadying presence for Xie Wang, and Xie Wang in turn could help him loosen up a bit more. (That’s kind of oversimplifying it but it’s 5 am where I am rn and I’m too tired to elaborate) I also believe Xie Wang might push Han Ying to be more ambitious, be able to do things for himself more - because Xie Wang went through a process of, everything I do is for someone else, until I realized they were using me, and now I’m going to do it for myself. In that way they could potentially push each other to higher heights in what they do, and they are pretty similar in ideology and morals and previous actions. They both have blood on their hands, and they’re not afraid to be ruthless or do what’s necessary to get the job done. They have their traumas, their complexities and an understanding of what it’s like to put on masks for different people.
The potential for found family. All the found family. Gimme:
This one I feel like is more obvious and changes some things about canon, but the timeline I imagine for if Xie Wang x Han Ying would be a plausible ship is one where Han Ying survives the stealing of the fake glazed armour incident and becomes one of the disciples of Siji (second disciple of the sixth generation????). Everything else would likely proceed in a very similar way (although in this au in my mind Gu Xiang and Cao Weining are alive). And then during the avalanche incident, with WenZhou trapped in the armoury, Xie Wang ends up surviving and they end up finding him somehow.
Whether or not it’d be out of character for WenZhou to save him I think could be explored, but the bottom line is that eventually they would probably take him back to Siji. There, whether him meeting Han Ying goes smoothly or not is up to interpretation - I very much doubt it would be an amiable meeting tbh - in fact I fully imagine it to be antagonistic af at first, considering what opposing groups they used to be a part of and the knowledge of how deadly the other can be - trust would be hard to come by, which makes a slow development all the more interesting. And moreover them becoming friends or dating would likely help Xie Wang into the dynamic at Siji because now there’s a more tangible connection between him and the place, and I can see while he’s getting to know all the people of Siji, eventually thinking of them as family as well. And Han Ying in turn gets another person who cares about him, and for him to care about.
I’ll be honest here and say that I don’t particularly care at this point how realistic or in character it all would be - I need found family in my life I have no self control. Xie Wang and Han Ying my beloveds needs all the good things.
Another possible meeting is just Han Ying being sent to negotiate with the Scorpions instead of Duan Pengju (is that how it went? I’ll admit I’m a little fuzzy on plot points here) and meeting each other that way. There could be moments of understanding while working together, an inevitable kinda separation, and eventually seeing each other again at Siji, after all the shitshow is over. The development could continue from there.
The closer age gap:
I’d like to preface this part with a disclaimer that I’m not trying to bash any other ships that are out there, this is actually just entirely my personal preference.
I don’t really like big age gaps in my ships unless their both established adults - for example in their 30's 40's, even 50's. Even if one of them remains young in body, it’s just not a dynamic I generally like. The most popular ship that comes to mind here is Ye Baiyi x Xie Wang - and all the more power to you if you do ship it tbh, I can see it being really adorable and healing for the both of them, especially since Ye Baiyi never really gets a happy ending either (and he absolutely deserves one 😤😤😤) - but that as a ship dynamic is personally not for me, especially after Xie Wang’s kinda hinted relationship with another man that’s also older than him. Ye Baiyi obviously is ten million times the man Zhao Jing could ever be, and it would be an infinitely healthier relationship anyway, but yeah the age gap thing is just my personal bias.
So I don’t know, I appreciate that Han Ying and Xie Wang are both closer in age to each other. I know there aren’t confirmed ages (I think?) but if I had to take a guess, I’d say I think both of them are probably in their early to mid twenties.
Anyways, it’s literally 5:43 am now where I am, so I think I’m gonna end this way too long post and pass out. Honestly, I’m not even sure if this thing is coherent anymore, I’m half delirious with exhaustion while writing this. I might possibly write a fic or do something about this Xie Wang x Han Ying ship, I might not, but I just wanted to get it out there. It’s a cute idea.
Oh god my eyeballs are burning. Cheers, goodnight.
#word of honor#xie wang x han ying#han ying x xie wang#Han Ying#Xie Wang#Shan he ling#I mentioned WenZhou#so I suppose I should put them in?#CaoXiang#Four Seasons Manor#Zhou Zishu#Wen Kexing#Jin Wang#Zhao Jing#liu qianqiao#word of honor spoilers#spoilers
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If it's not too much, may I ask for anemone, chrisanthemum and daisy for Perospero and Amande? Only if you don't mind of course! I love these two so much and I really wanna know what you think 😭
Yes of course friend!! 💕 (Psst I love them too so it's much appreciated -Jo) Hope you like what we came up with! Thanks for asking ✨
CW: violence, death, trauma
Anemone: How does your muse view the world; as a cruel & unforgiving place, a land full of wonders, or something in-between? Where does that worldview come from (what experiences, life lessons, etc.)?
In Perospero's eyes, the world outside of Totto is harsh, gritty, and grey. He fully believes that Totto Land is a land of dreams, though, and excuses everything questionable about the country and Big Mom's policies as the only right way, as necessary, or as still better than the rest of the world. He loves color, sweetness, family, and doesn't mind the underlying morbid tones they all have in Mama's territory. Thus, to him, his life is a blessing, and he believes that it's a blessing for the rest of his family too. Fuck everyone else.
His view on life could be summarized in two sentences: "the main purpose in life is to have fun" and "don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive". He might take on many responsibilities within Mama's pirate crew and wish for even more, considering that he wants to be the captain, but in all honesty, that's all just for fame, flair, and for life to get exciting.
Where does his worldview come from? Well, out of all the siblings, he's probably one of the most indoctrinated. Having always been a mama's boy, he took Linlin's words for granted, tried to justify even the worst of her deeds, and thus came to fully believe in the outside world being wrong. Even as he grew up and came to travel on missions, even as he visited different countries, he was already way too deep in the confirmation bias of Totto Land and the Charlotte family being the best of all; few things could now really shake this worldview of his up.
Amande thinks that she has a very neutral view on the world. She believes in balance, in good and bad energies completing each other, and in the world around you being an effect of your actions, not a constraint. However, she has a very dark view on the ways life and death work in the world. If she was to summarize what life is like, she'd probably say something along the lines of "it's kill or be killed, reign supreme or become a stepping stone for the more powerful. I made my choice. What about you?"
Her outlook on life is partially a result of how much she internalized her time spent among the Rocks Pirates. Having observed these powerful people constantly fighting, jumping at each other throats, she convinced herself that she must kill all vulnerability and emotion in herself to not be used or slayed. It didn't help that her family is full of bloodthirsty pirates and that Linlin encouraged her psychopathic behaviors, too.
Chrysanthemum: How does your muse express romantic love? How do they feel about love as a concept?
Perospero both wants romantic love and doesn't fully trust it. He hates commitment, yes, but he also kind of wants someone to fall back onto, someone to admire him, and give him all the attention he craves. Most of all, though, he wants to feel secure. Because of that, he doesn't let people into his heart easily, being scared of getting too dependent or too open and vulnerable. As he sees it, even if he has feelings for someone, at the end of the day it's still a stranger he's getting to know - not like family who was with him from the beginning and who he believes will always be there for him. So yes, he can jump around into various relationships, but getting truly serious about dating anyone would be special, and it's not something that happened yet. He tends to claim that love is actually very rare and he's not planning to start lying to himself that some random person truly loves him; despite being very expressive and extroverted, feelings-wise he's actually a really tough shell to crack.
If he falls for someone, though, Perospero turns into a total old sap in private. He gets very touchy, seeking constant physical contact, and might actually (gasp) talk about his emotions for once! He definitely requires a fuck ton of attention and affection back, and might have some yandere tendencies: not so much jealousy driven (he's polyamorous) but quite obsessive for sure.
Amande has a cynical view on love, seeing it as either 'chemicals in your brain that force you to mate' or as weak people seeking someone to feel a bit stronger. Effectively, she's a cold woman who doesn't seek out love, whether romantic or platonic. She much prefers to remain independent and unconstrained, and might even judge those who care for their significant others too much or those who gush about their relationships.
Daisy: Did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost? What moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence?
Few Charlottes even remember the time of their innocence. Due to how they were raised, they were taught to kill very quickly, they had to grow up and learn to provide for themselves way too fast, and thus, few of them actually got to have an innocent childhood. Amande and Perospero are definitely not among those few.
If Amande was ever innocent, it goes so far back that she wouldn't recall it. As far as she remembers, even as a child she was fascinated with the morbid, she preferred murder than playing with other children, and she didn't understand when people talked about their emotions. Again, this is largely due to how much she internalized her time with the Rocks Pirates, and what she learned there never really left her.
There is a moment in Perospero's early life which he doesn't like to think about and he likes to erase from his memory. He's never been innocent in conventional ways, but he used to at least be a very positive child, believing in Mama 100%. Everything changed though when he first witnessed Big Mom kill one of her own babies in a craving rage. As much of a family secret as it is, there were more than 85 Charlotte children, but many of them perished before they could grow up or learn to walk, being defenseless and just too close to Linlin when she got hungry. As the eldest and someone who hanged around Mama a lot, Perospero probably witnessed it happen, and if anything, that was when his innocence broke and when he became who he is today. Thinking back to this moment makes his absolute faith in Mama take a heavy blow, as it's really hard to excuse it, but he usually refuses to remember it happened. Life's simpler this way, really.
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Writing Prompts: Characters are a Doctor and a Patient
When we started considering Doctor/Patient as a theme for a prompt list, we had concerns: it has so many inherent potential consent issues, perhaps it would be better not to? But we had a few tempting ideas, and decided...why not give it a try? For the most part, we've tried to avoid consent issues, but of course some will crop up (especially depending on how a story written for one of these prompts actually goes!) and of course if the potential consent problems give you pause and you still want some prompts on this theme, nearly all of our suggestions can be read as platonic instead of romantic or sexual! So, without further ado...prompts!
1. That awkward moment when Doctor enters the examination room to meet their newest Patient...and it’s the barista they’ve been crushing on for months. (And yes, it’s mutual pining, and no, the barista didn’t realize that Doctor was their favorite customer.)
2. For years, Doctor has been developing feelings for Patient, but there was no appropriate way to express them, so Doctor makes small (and, they know, also inappropriate) notes (or poems, or doodles, or something similarly personal and really not supposed to be there) in Patient’s file. Patient finds out when they move away and have their records transferred...and they need to know more.
3. An urgent message comes through on subspace: the creatures of a distant planet need Doctor, stat! Doctor’s ship jumps to hyper-speed to get there as fast as possible, and Doctor is set to treat the Patient(s)...only to discover that there is a massive pheromone incompatibility (...or compatibility, depending on one’s attitude and point of view) between the Doctor’s species and the Patient’s. They experience nigh-irresistible attraction, and it’s mutual, and that might be interesting to explore if the situation wasn’t so dire...
4. Doctor and Patient coincidentally find each other vacationing at the same spot...which turns out to be a favorite among couples. Most of the events there are aimed at couples, and going solo is awkward at best, agonizing at worst. Neither knows anyone else there, and both are lonely, so they decide, maybe just for the week, they’ll play the couple.
5. Doctor sees Patient’s name on their docket for the day, and their first instinct is panic, because they and Patient dated in college (and Doctor is loathe to admit it but they definitely think of Patient as “the one that got away”) but Doctor is determined to be professional. They can handle this! Patient, on the other hand, only finds out that Doctor is their ex when they arrive. Some names are not at all common...and some are really, really common...how was Patient supposed to know?
6. Local snake oil dealer pretends to be Doctor, develops feels for Patient they’re duping, now has a serious problem. What do?!?!
7. The last thing Doctor wants is to treat their friends, and they have strict policy about that - no office privileges for people they know. Unfortunately, that policy is impossible to enforce when Doctor and friend-and-soon-to-be Patient get lost together while on a hike, and Patient falls down a ravine and is injured. Now, Doctor has no choice but to treat them...and that can’t help but expose some awkward truths about one or both of their feelings.
8. “Oh, I don’t date Doctors,” says (maybe, potential, could be) Patient.
“Why not?” asks Doctor.
“I mean, what if your specialty is something obscure, and I have a medical emergency, and you’re the only person in the tri-state area who can treat me? How awkward and awful would it be if that happened and we're a couple? The ethics of it make my head hurt!”
“...you...you realize I’m a Doctor of Philosophy, right?”
“...oh.”
“Yes. Oh.”
9. A bright light awakens Patient in the middle of the night, and they’re astonished as a person appears in their home...they blink until their eyes accustom to the light, and when they can finally make out who is there, they discover it’s Doctor. “Look, I don’t have time to explain,” Doctor says, crackling like they’re on a bed cell phone connection. “But you have to find a new Doctor. The future of the world depends on it!”
10. After trekking through the forest, surmounting mountains, and slogging through flooded valleys, Patient finally reaches the hut in which the only Doctor in the province arrives. Patient is in desperate need of help, and they’re prepared to beg for it if necessary...what they’re not prepared for is that their soulmark activates the instant they and Doctor lay eyes on each other.
11. There’s something nigglingly familiar about the person Patient is on a date with, but they don’t think much of it. There’s something nigglingly familiar about the person Doctor is on a date with, but they also don’t think much of it. And it’s a good date. So they go on another, and another, and another, and anyway, it’s somehow six months in before either realizes that they’re dating their Doctor/Patient. (“At least I have the excuse that I only ever see you in a lab coat when you're treating me - what’s your excuse?” “Look, I’m a little face-blind, okay?”)
12. Doctor isn’t actually a Doctor, they just know a little herbalism because they love tea. Unfortunately, no one else in the caravan realizes that - and the tea is very good, and psychosomaticism is a very powerful force. They finally arrive at their destination, where Doctor had hoped to make a fresh start...and they’ve not been there five hours when Doctor is summoned to attend the local Royals. Apparently, the merchants have promised that Doctor can cure one of the Royals - the Patient’s illness - and the consequences for Doctor failing would be dire.
13. Patient has an hour to kill before their appointment with Doctor, so they scroll through their Grindr/Tinder/etc. until they find a promising hook-up...and their hook-up is Doctor, who also had some time to kill.
14. After a miraculous, innovative bit of medical magic, Doctor and Patient are invited to attend a high-profile conference at a fancy hotel. Unfortunately, the hotel’s receptionist staff misunderstood when the conference organizers indicated that Doctor and Patient are traveling together...so only book them one room, with one king bed. And by the time Doctor and Patient arrive, all the other rooms are booked by others attending the conference, so they’re stuck.
15. Patient is a Patient...but Patient is also a Doctor. In fact, they are Doctor’s Doctor. No, it wasn’t on purpose, and each time they see each other in a Patient/Doctor capacity (with either in either role!) they squabble and argue about how best to treat X, Y, and Z, and concede anything they get wrong begrudgingly, and praise the other for being right even more begrudgingly, and each swears - to each other, to their friends, to the nurses, to the schedulers and office staff, to other random Patients in the waiting room - that they’re definitely going to find a different Doctor before their next appointment. But neither ever does. And neither is brave enough to ask why not.
We hope you enjoy these prompts!
Now go forth, and write a thing!
(Like these prompts? Consider supporting us! Our links are in the comments.)
#duck prints press#original content#writing prompts#story ideas#doctor/patient#consent issues#they're mild consent issues#but better to tag than not
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(Luca) Summer Heat (rated M) (unpublished/random pieces that I wrote)
Luca doesn’t like children, which is weird, because he technically is one? (He hadn’t been eighteen for that long, and things still felt the same) He does feel bad about it. He’d dealt with them over his years of study in Genova which was always a hassle, but it wasn’t his fault.
He didn’t know why he was intimidated by a couple of adolescents, just on the brink of consciousness of the world around them. Not old enough to worry about things bigger than how fast they can eat their gelato before it melted in the summertime heat.
He guesses he’s one to talk. Even if it’s been three years, he doesn’t feel like he knows anything. He may not be much better than these kids. He doesn’t know who he is. He thought he did. He thought he was starting to figure it out.
That’s why it’s so shocking to see how second nature Alberto is around a band of rowdy twelve year olds in the water, teaching them how to swim. And maybe they weren’t rowdy—just much too much for Luca to handle. He can’t believe how patient he is, how he humors their antics and how easy it is for him.
And he can’t believe how good he looks in that tiny red Bagnino tank top, iridescent purple scales shimmering in the sunlight, practically calling him.
Luca knew this was going to happen, so he brought a book to look down at if Alberto happened to turn back and steal a glance, lest he be caught staring. Because that would be the end of the world considering some of the things they’d done already.
There was a squiggly, fine line to their relationship.
And besides, he wasn’t good with kids. But it was fun to watch anyway. It doesn’t mean he didn’t feel bad.
“Va bene,” Luca hears him laugh from the water, a young girl looking up at him with a red tinge to her cheeks that definitely wasn’t from the setting sun. “If you can hold your breath for ten seconds, I’ll buy you another gelato.”
“Really? And I can pick the flavor?” Her eyes sparkle.
Alberto pauses comically. “No, no. I still get to pick the flavor,” his voice is giggly, and Luca’s heart wants to burst with affection and love.
“Hey! Non è giusto, you have to buy me one too!” A little boy pops up from under the water, eyebrows furrowed up at Alberto.
“Twenty seconds, then?”
“See that one right there?” He points to the same ragazza that he promised a gelato after he’d come back on the shore for a short break, sitting down beside Luca in the sand.
“Uh-huh,” he watches her as she makes a show of back stroking, glancing curiously at Alberto.
“She’s got a massive crush on me.”
Luca scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Ah, I bet that gets your ego nice and excited doesn’t it?”
“Oh yeah,” he jokes, unwrapping an energy bar from his bag. He takes a bite, a quiet moment passes by and Luca awkwardly looks back down at his book. “Nah. I’m just wondering what I did to make her see me that way.” He says idly.
Luca chews his lip anxiously, incredulous. He starts to wonder if this was a trap. What was Alberto trying to do to him?
Whatever it was, it was working.
The Vespa was surprisingly still in commission, ready for a summer of rides down The Downhill, through the narrow roads, twists and turns to the piazza.
But Luca preferred Giulia’s bike whenever he could if she wasn’t using it. But he’d never admit it out loud that the reason he likes pedaling instead is because he thinks it’ll help him become more like Alberto. Physically, anyways. He was quite jealous, really, in this delicious, sensual way.
Actually, he thinks he’d tell Alberto the reason, if only he would ask. He wishes he would ask. He probably never would, because it was almost like he already knew.
“Don’t you wanna ride your fancy Vespa instead? Why do you need my bike?” Giulia even asks one day, putting Luca on the spot as he’s hopping on for a twenty minute cycle around the piazza.
“Let him use it. He needs the exercise,” Alberto says coolly from the porch, Machiavelli slung helplessly over his shoulder as he’s bringing him back inside from a bath.
Luca’s heart drops, his face burning red.
It’s almost annoying how bold Alberto is about it. No, it definitely is annoying. And Luca is tired of being constantly envious of his ever growing muscles. “Everyone’s bodies are different, you know?”
Luca glares at him. He’s trying to wash the dishes and not even Alberto was a fun distraction anymore. Just plain annoying. Stupid, dumb Alberto. “Haha,” he sulks.
“What works for me may not work for you,” he shrugs, scratching at his chin and appraising Luca’s body for a moment. What’s worse is that Luca can feel it, each little thought in his mind. What’s even worse is that in a matter of days, he’d become so self conscious about something he hadn’t ever thought about for more than five minutes.
Sure, he’d done his fair share of comparing himself to people, and especially Alberto. But he’d always had a summer fixation, whether that was a good or bad thing depended. It was always Alberto. And it wasn’t always good.
“If you’re really that worried about it, I can help you.”
Luca pauses, squeezing the sudsy dish sponge in his scaly hand. His first thought is to be defensive about it, and he is, but it’s a much lighter approach when he says with a little chuckle for good measure, “I’m not that worried about it.”
“But you are,” Alberto outsmarts him in that easy breezy way, winning another point for the Fluster Luca game. “Just a little. Right?”
When he turns to glare at his asshole of a friend again, he’s got that grin on his face, like he’d proven something, caught Luca in another lie the same way he could when they were fourteen, knowing and unbothered. It’s annoying.
Grumbling, he forces his attention back to vigorously scrubbing some dried alfredo off of a dinner plate. “I could give you training lessons. Just me and you.”
To keep from short circuiting, Luca laughs again, awkwardly.
Training started at eight in the morning the next day, on the beach. Alberto says they need open space to promote a healthy work environment, but Luca just feels put on the spot. He relied on the fact that Portorosso was a sleepy town, and it was unlikely that anyone would be awake this early. Besides the pescheria. Which is probably eighty percent of this town’s population.
Carp.
“Like this?” He asks breathlessly, trying to keep in tune with a swift jog in place, his entire body burning for all of the wrong reasons, not that he feels his ten-pack forming, but he can tell Alberto is watching him. Hard.
Alberto hums, scratching his chin. “No.”
***
Ferragosto this year is when he platonically-maybe-not-so-romantically falls in love with Alberto and Giulia all over again. They’ve got her old radio blasting the anthem of summer’64, il gatto e la volpe, and Luca can’t explain how excited he is to hear it again.
Fireworks burst over the astounding view from The Downhill. They’re finally old enough (well, excluding Giulia, but two legal adults were enough) to be out on their own under the influence of at least two glasses of wine.
It wasn’t that much, but Luca can’t help how giggly he feels, throwing his head back to sing, “Noi scopriamo talenti e non sbagliamo mai,” at the top of his lungs, delighted when Giulia takes the next verse.
“Noi sapremo sfruttare le tue qualità!” Her voice is shaky and cracks unexpectedly, but to Luca, it’s like music to his ears. Another firework rockets to the sky, bursting loudly.
“Dacci solo quattro monete e ti iscriviamo al concorso,” Alberto sings next, stumbling over the words and his voice is incredibly off key, but Luca beams at him, suddenly wanting to cry.
“Per la celebrità!” They all sing together, bursting into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.
He never wants this to end. He wishes this bottle of wine were bottomless, so that the three of them could lay here in the grass forever underneath the inky black sky, lit up by colorful explosions, wiggling his toes freely in the wet grass, his two favorite people in the entire world right by his side, just like every summer.
But it’s going to end. It always did. That was the reality of it, and he always faced it. But just for a little longer, he could enjoy it knowing there was always next year. For now, he could be irresponsible and enjoy this. A little longer.
He reaches over, turning the radio up to the highest volume, cheering loudly over it.
Lui è il gatto ed io la volpe, stiamo in società
Di noi ti puoi fidar,
di noi ti puoi fidare,
di noi ti puoi fidar
There’s plenty of places to makeout in Portorosso, but somehow they’d ended up behind the house because—oh, now he remembered—it’s almost time for dinner, and they wanted to be back before sundown.
Admittedly, Luca was disappointed that nothing intense had happened on their little day trip to Isola del Mare, and to him it was a waste. He never did well with mixed feelings, and he couldn’t help not being talkative on the walk back to the Marcovaldo household.
If Alberto asked, he’d just say he was tired. Which wasn’t exactly a lie, just not the whole truth— because, merda, the swim there and back really isn’t a cakewalk or anything. He felt near exhaustion, leaning slightly against Alberto as they stumbled down the narrow road, street lamps lighting the dusk night.
He doesn’t know what kind of person he’s becoming, but it most definitely isn’t practical.
He stumbles to trail along when Alberto unexpectedly yanks him behind the dark alley-like space between their house and a neighbor’s and Luca groans confusedly because he’s already a little frustrated with Alberto, even if it’s childish and petty.
“What are you—,” A flame ignites like an explosion in his chest when Alberto roughly slams him against the concrete wall by the shoulders, sucking in a deep breath when he feels his chest pressing firmly against his. “Why—,”
All Alberto does is laugh, and Luca would punch the stupid grin off of his face if he could see it in this light. “What’s that you said earlier? Sono felice? If that’s true then why haven’t you said anything since?”
Luca grumbles. “I’m just tired.”
“Uh-huh, right,” he says knowingly, releasing his tight grip on Luca’s shoulders to drop one arm by his side, the other hand planted firmly on the wall by his head instead. It makes Luca feel worse (better? He doesn’t know), the choice to leave or stay looming over him like a playful tease. “You’re upset I didn’t put my hand down your pants earlier, aren’t you?”
“Don’t make fun of me.” Luca’s face heats up and he makes a weird noise of repulsion. “It’s stupid of me, I know,”
“I’ll tell you what…”
Sometimes or more often than not this summer, he doesn’t recognize himself as a top student in Genova, or a loyal son who herded goatfish for most of his life. It’s weird feeling different and thinking about himself like this. And Alberto, his dear friend who showed him this new world above the surface, is now his lover, a little more than just a friend, all and everything in between, and he’s different.
It’s strange.
This was certainly… unexpected.
When they finally come inside right in time for dinner, they’re skittish, and Giulia gives them a look that’s definitely more knowing than confused, but she’s uninformed nonetheless, and Luca can’t help but giggle. He feels like a brat.
He accidentally bumps into Massimo, rustling away from Alberto’s tight grip on his arm. He mumbles a quick mi scusi, sitting down in his seat. “Lo giuro, ragazzi,” Giulia grumbles exasperatedly, setting down cups of water around the table.
Luca steals a glance at Alberto as he picks up his cup for a sip, darting his eyes away quickly when they make eye contact.
“Ragazzi.” Signor Marcovaldo says sternly, and Luca and Alberto flinch. “Help set the table.”
“Certo, certo, sorry about that, papà,” Alberto rushes to the counter, leaning over to take two plates at a time. He sets them on the table, getting the last two. Right as Luca decides he should get up and help too, Alberto is on his way back to the table and they narrowly miss stumbling into each other, Luca letting out a strained little chuckle as they stare stupidly at each other.
Giulia clears her throat loudly, arms crossed.
Luca and Alberto immediately look at her, breaking out into awkward laughs.
“What is it with you two? Veramente,” she takes a seat beside Alberto after he finishes setting down the plates. Luca is next to stand beside Massimo at the counter, grabbing silverware. He can feel his heavy gaze burning holes through his head as he quickly rinses them in the sink, and if he just hurried then—!
“Luca.” Massimo grumbles. Luca flinches again, willing himself to look up at the man towering above him.
“Si?”
“Calmati.”
Luca shivers, drying the forks quickly in a towel. “Oh, sì, scusa,” he rushes back to the table, giving everyone their silverware before shakily taking his seat again. He catches Alberto staring at him again, and he slightly raises his eyebrows like asking stai bene, and Luca nods quickly.
“For dessert, it’s tiramisu,” Signor Marcovaldo says as he sits down, and Alberto’s eyes light up and he gasps excitedly. “For that, you have Giulietta to thank.”
Alberto frowns. Giulia grins smugly at him, and Luca lets out his first real laugh of tonight. “Ah, come on. Can tonight get any worse?” Alberto groans half heartedly, absentmindedly twirling some pasta onto his fork.
“Sure it can. I helped strain the noodles,” Giulia jokes, her mouth full.
“Oh, is that why you’re feeling so tipo tosto tonight?”
“Of course. It’s more than you ever help out around here.”
#archive of our own#luca 2021#pixar luca#fanfiction#fanfic#japanken#aged up characters#alberto scorfano#luca paguro#giulia marcovaldo#Luca
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What I always loved about Wangxian is that you can headcanon what you wish about their gender and orientation, and the ways their dynamic can go, because the very basis is the unconditional they give each other. However they present as, whoever they are, their values are what truly make them, and it is through these values they connect, bond, find this deep pull, and learn to make it healthy, all without conditions.
If someone shift the values, it can still be Wangxian, because the dynamic can mirror the canon one, and it is simply the values that changed. Not everyone might feel like its still Wangxian, but others will find something they enjoy from this.
So back to gender and orientation: I don’t know if MTXT did this purposefully or if its an unexpected result of the mix between their values, and their dynamics, but I find that, however you headcanon them, you can find canon reasons behind it.
Al “block” canon gives us is that we see their masculine bodies, so its in theory “not canon” to view them as trans men... unless you make believable that there is surgery, Xianxia-style.
Another “block” is that we seem them be physically intimate, implying that purely canonically, they are either sex-positive or sex-neutral. They also both have their kinks and shown with libido. However, libido is actually different than attraction, it isn’t because you can day-dream and dream and feel aroused by something, that you will enjoy the reality of it.
So at most, they are sex-neutral or sex-positive ace spectrum, have libido, and simply didn’t separate their libido from attraction, and so tested out their libido-desires and found it pleasant. In the same manner, while they’re rather strongly shown as romantic, they might also still be aro spectrum, and have such a deep, platonic bond, that they assume its romantic, especially if they do enjoy physical intimacy and emotional intimacy.
In term of gender, they are comfortable with who they are. Wei Wuxian has no issue making himself more feminine, because he knows it does not de-valuate who he is. Whether he is cis, trans, non binary, agender, etc, he’s comfortable with who he is, and the same way, Lan Wangji show no issue with it. He’s also shown to not mind “feminine roles”, for example, he is directly mirroring Jiang Yanli has a cook, and cooking for people they love. Wei Wuxian dreams show Lan Wangji in “roles” more often seen in the wife, and yet, it is Wei Wuxian who jokes that he is the wife/can get pregnant.
In addition, for all that Lan Wangji is seen topping, I would argue that Wei Wuxian is the dominant. He’s the one who riles Lan Wangji up, and directs everything, he’s the one speaking, deciding the scene he wants. He does seem to enjoy being in the vulnerable position, as if he has no control and its all given to Lan Wangji, but it makes him both dominant and submissive, the same way Lan Wangji end up both submissive and dominant.
In short: I view Wangxian as actually outside any gender or orientation.
Somehow, someway, the way they are written, the way their dynamic work, they can fit any gender and orientation you give them.
If MXTX meant to do this, or at least, to show them as not fitting the traditional hetero-norm, it worked, maybe more than MXTX might have hoped or realized, and if MXTX didn’t mean to, it means the basis of their dynamic and the dynamic themselves were so well written, that it transcends the “headcanon” of MXTX for her canon.
As for my person headcanons that just resonate with me the most:
I see Wei Wuxian as pan-romantic demi-sexual, with libido and sex-neutral. I also view him as either a man who doesn’t mind femininity in his masculinity, or he doesn’t really care about gender, and he likes his body, so he just goes with it, but also he goes with what he likes.
I see Lan Wangji has demi-romantic grey-sexual, with libido and sex-positive, and similarly to Wei Wuxian, he’s either a man who has no issue with anything seen as feminine, or isn’t really caring about gender and is simply comfortable in his own body.
To give a few words of how this formed for me: out of the two, Lan Wangji seems to be the one who is the first to seek the physical intimacy, which can mean he’s more sex-positive than Wei Wuxian, who seem to enjoy the idea of it (libido) but doesn’t actively seek it (sex-neutral).
Wei Wuxian as demi sexual is because he only truly show active attraction once he’s formed a deep bond with Lan Wangji, and has become aware of his own feelings (has stopped being in denial, I do also headcanon he wasn’t oblivious but rather in denial, which can end up making him half blind himself). Meanwhile, Lan Wangji as grey is because he pretty much went from “nope” to “yes” but for a single person. He could have worked as demi, however, personally I view demi as needing that bond (which he wouldn’t have at the start), while I view gray as more “rare but it happens” (without a bond first, the way allosexual can feel attracted physically very early on, sometimes right from meeting).
Lan Wangji being demi romantic is because he did need to let himself develop a bond toward Wei Wuxian (acceptance to his attraction), before he felt love. He was attracted, he felt drawn, but he fell in love once he allowed it to happen, and its through the bonds they formed. Potentially, grey-romantic can work, or homoromantic too, if we consider he might just not have met anyone he had felt drawn to. However, his reactions to his initial crush/attraction can imply he never felt like this before, and so, Wei Wuxian is the first to actually make him feel attracted, be it romantically, sexually, or both.
I’d say Wei Wuxian can be called bi romantic or pan romantic, it depends how you view the terms. As Wei Wuxian is not faced with someone he realizes is non-binary/agender/etc, we only see him show consideration for feminine people/women, and masculine people/men, he might only show attraction toward Lan Wangji, however, to me its both that he thinks his appreciation of a man’s beauty has nothing to do with attraction (which can also link with his demi sexuality!), and that he’s sort of “stuck” in hetero-normativity.
I’d say for Lan Wangji, what happened with his parents might have broken any “rainbow and sunshine” he had about the hetero norm around him, he knew het couples can be miserable, and in addition, the Lan actively separate men and women, and adding the roles, I’d say a result is that the Lan children and teen are not exposed to het couples, and rather can only ever be exposed to their own parents. So Lan Wangji only truly had his own parents example, and his non wedded Uncle.
On the other end, Wei Wuxian had het parents who loved each other (so an example of healthy hetero couples), the Jiang leaders (an unhealthy het couple), Jiang Yanli’s example (for him she deserved to be loved as she is), and speaking of Jiang Yanli, while it is purely familial, she did show him unconditional love. So Wei Wuxain actively had example of both healthy and unhealthy het couple, and has been shown unconditional love... which Lan Wangji didn’t get to have or see!
That’s why Wei Wuxian is actively comfortable following his own values and being himself: he understands het couples can work or not work out, and he understands from Jiang Yanli what it means to be loved without conditions. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji has been taught the values of self control and righteousness, yet he’s never had healthy couples presented to him, and anything mature was pretty much only meant to be dealt with if he got engaged and left for wedding night and after. If he never felt attracted, he potentially assumed he would never marry, or be politically married.
Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian had no rules that prevented him to explore, and its important because this explain why he flirts and yet we can see he doesn’t pursue: he understands he likes the idea of it, that he does enjoy feminine bodies (and potentially he does see men beauty), but he realized he doesn’t actively seek it. He realized he want to save himself up, including kissing, for the person he will actively want to share his life with. In short: he’s basing himself of his parents and the idea of unconditional love.
That’s why he only truly accept his own feelings in his second life: Lan Wangji didn’t know how to show he loved Wei Wuxian unconditionally (be it platonic with sex in it, or queerplatonic, or romantic), so Wei Wuxian didn’t realize Lan Wangji was someone he could find what his parents had and have it be unconditional. However, the moment Lan Wangji showed unconditional love, Wei Wuxian was thrown off guard, and started to notice how he felt all over again, and he realized “hey maybe its possible after all”.
Before, in his first life, he denied himself because he thought Lan Wangji hated him and/or disapproved of him, which mean Wei Wuxian thought the love was conditional. Because of Wei Wuxian self esteem issues, he didn’t see any blame, because Wei Wuxian himself viewed himself as not worthy of Lan Wangji unconditional love, thus he wasn’t surprised by not receiving it (or so he thought), but here is where we can see how important it is for him to be loved unconditionally: because he perceived he wouldn’t be loved unconditionally, he did not pursue Lan Wangji.
He had feelings for Lan Wangji, but be it subconsciously (oblivious) or somewhat consciously (in denial), he refused to sacrifice his own values behind a partner (unconditional love), because he did know he could be loved unconditionally (by a sister), however he also considered that he had lost his worth (or maybe even didn’t have any, and only Jiang Yanli could love him without condition as his sister, almost mother).
So its only when Lan Wangji showed love without condition, thus also implying he sees worth in Wei Wuxian, but never asking anything out of him, that Wei Wuxian subconscious finally allowed the consideration of Lan Wangji as a romantic partner.
Both of them, funnily enough, knew what they wanted: Lan Wangji realized he wanted Wei Wuxian, while Wei Wuxian knew he wanted a partner who would love with without conditions.
So Lan Wangji had to learn to express himself properly and show he would love without conditions (which is exactly the growth he had to go through!), and Wei Wuxian had to see and realize that Lan Wangji loved him and it was unconditional (which is what happened!).
And it is as I’ve said: it transcends the gender or orientation you assign, because at the core, its all about unconditional love, one character seeking to express themselves and learn to show its unconditional, and another character seeking to receive this and share this with someone capable of unconditional love.
In the end, they both are capable of unconditional love, and that’s why they are so in tune with their own values: regardless of their self esteem/worth, they actively see their own values and accept these unconditionally, and seek to apply them. Lan Wangji struggled a bit more with public opinion, which is due to growing in a space that assigned punishment and wrongs a lot more than the rest of the world they lived in, while Wei Wuxian struggled with how much he allowed, due to growing up being blamed for things he knew, deep down, he wasn’t the cause of.
Lan Wangji then had the pro side of knowing the punishment/wrong were “alright right to give”, while Wei Wuxian grew up knowing he only had his own moral compass to follow, since he would get punished unfairly. Thus, Lan Wangji had to break free of a “moral compass” that proved faulty eventually and for his own (that still kept what worked of the old one), while Wei Wuxian always followed his own.
This, again, played a part in Lan Wangji needed to learn to express and show his love as unconditional (because he needed to figure things out after he realized what he grew up with didn’t fit him anymore) and Wei Wuxian staying true to his heart, including that he wanted a partner that offered unconditional love, while also thinking that he had no worth, or at least fewer worth that others (and so that anyone “more worthy than him” would “of course” not show him unconditional love).
I love Wangxian so all of this, because it shows both finding and following your own values, and unconditional love. They show there is no shame either behind waiting for the one you feel is the right one for you, but also that you can still want them to show unconditional love. And they also show, as a bonus, a healthy physical intimacy, which include being able to face your own desires without judging yourself, and the absolute trust between the partners.
And that’s all happening side by side with their growth as people, learning to communicate more clearly and honestly, forgiving themselves while also knowing where you actively hurt others (did “wrong”) and where people put on your false blame (Wei Wuxian says it, he’ll accept his own faults, but he doesn’t allow others to blame him for what he didn’t do), learning and knowing their own values, and following these.
That’s why, regardless of what they did, MXTX has called them good people: everyone can make mistakes, however, it is how you deal with them that is the truthful indicator.
They both are able to recognize where they are truly at fault, and where there false blame, and when they perceived they are at fault, they seek to correct these (apologize, seek punishment or accept punishment, which is acceptable in their system, do what is needed to correct it). Meanwhile, if they see injustice, they seek to correct that, and the issues they face is because of the lack of fairness and objective thinking from others, for example black and white mentality is based on not being able to be objective, as you need to be objective to deal with the “grey” areas (its also a matter of an extremely judgmental system that will view as not even human and worthy of anything, anyone who they consider “wrong”).
Their values, their hearts, are in the place of fairness, justice, the “good” place, and its because of the outside system that they face issues, both due to how the environment raised them, and the ways people reacted to them as they try to be true to their own values and hearts.
And that’s why, when they find each other, they feel so drawn to each other: they recognize, subconsciously, that they match. Its only once they learned to go past the issues caused by how they grew up, and go past any worry about the system around them, that they realized how the other felt, and allowed themselves to become a couple, and stand together in the values they share.
And the most beautiful factor, what really make me so happy with this story, is that they have a happy ending.
Its so easy, too easy, to see fictions end up harming or “punishing” or de-valuating people who are trying to be true to themselves, or pushing an agenda on what is “right” or “wrong”. Its too easy to find bittersweet and bad ending, or that happy ending are so often hetero-normative or are, sure, great to see if you like the people involved, but rarely show an happy ending for actual unconditional love.
But here, we have a couple that transcend the hetero-normative speech, who faced mob mentality and extremely judgemental people, who faced the scars of their childhood, who found each other, recognized their equal, and who were able to know their own values, and follow their heart, while learning from their mistakes, and being capable of seeing their own faults, and who found unconditional love together, also showing it to a child that is considered their own in their heart, and they have their happy ending, where they promise each other for life (and beyond), and live the way they truthfully want.
This story packs so many things that feels so important, so is it any surprise how much we can love it?
Its just sad when we forget or don’t see all the reasons its such a lovely story, but I’m glad for every single person who find MDZS because, subconsciously or consciously, it says so many things that need to be seen and heard in our own real life, that anyone who touch MDZS will seen things that will speak to them, whether they realize it or not.
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Okay, so, I've been reading your TPWP fic for a while, and I rlly like it! But something has been bothering me
In one of your ending notes, you said that Mondo kinda knew Taka had a crush on him, and they already started the sexual stuff at that point
So, wouldn't that make it kind of manipulative? Because from basic logic, the more they do the sexual stuff, the more Taka will fall in love with him and want to be with Mondo, but Mondo didn't show any clear signs of it being mutual for Taka to see, which would only hurt Taka more... I might be exhagerating but that doesn't sound really healthy :/
Also, Mondo never really apologized for his behaviour, not a proper apology at least, one that Taka really deserved.
I still enjoy your fic a lot, don't get me wrong! But some of Mondo's actions and portrayels seem a bit off and not very healthy in a relationship, platonic or romantic...
(please don't get mad sorry :') have a good day!)
Hey! Thanks for the ask!! And don’t worry, I don’t mind answering questions, especially if it’s bothering you with the story! I completely understand what you mean, so let me try and explain it the best I can.
Just a warning, in order to discuss your problem, I had to go over some other things too, and it’s a bit long and rambling since I wasn’t entirely sure how to explain it all. Just letting you know. :-)
(Explanation under a read more to prevent spoilers for people who don’t want them. It also gets pretty long, since... duh, it's me, ha.)
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Anyway. I’m going to first answer your not-quite-a question about if their relationship is healthy or not, since I think that’s a better to place to start than Mondo’s supposed manipulation. And as for if it is healthy or not, I will say that… no. No, it is not. Nothing about Taka and Mondo’s relationship is healthy, and I did that on purpose. But it’s not in the way I think y’all might be thinking.
See, Taka and Mondo are too codependent. They rely on one another a lot; constantly around the other, clinging to them and taking comfort from them, etc. And that’s not necessarily bad, right? It’s good to take strength from a partner or friend, and it’s good to lend your strength to them in return.
The problem that arises with Mondo and Taka is that they don’t ever talk about it. About their relationship or their anxiety/insecurity. They cling to the other, taking and giving strength, but they never try and work out what’s wrong. I’ve had Taka try many coping mechanisms in this story, right? Push it all down, allow himself to feel everything he’s feeling, live moment to moment, etc. etc. But I’m sure y’all noticed how none of them worked long term. And that was done by design.
See… Taka is going through a lot, you know? He’s dealing with his grief for his mother, he’s trying to come to terms with the abuse he dealt at the hands of his classmates (and it was abuse, okay? Bullying is abuse), not to mention his crippling loneliness and anxiety and the neglect from his father. But he never fully acknowledges any it. He pushes it all down, shoves it aside, and never looks at it. When he realized he was in love with Mondo, he did the exact same thing. Conceal, don’t feel, and all that jazz.
But, guys… that’s unhealthy. And it led Taka to cling to Mondo, to make him an emotional crutch, without ever questioning why he feels how he feels. And without talking to Mondo about it. This is unhealthy and no matter how well Taka seems to be doing, the only thing that will help him (and Mondo, since he has a similar problem)? Is to talk to Mondo about it. To acknowledge his problems, acknowledge his love, and confront it head on. Until he does that, he will always be miserable and he will be dependent on Mondo to make him feel even slightly okay, which is unfair to both of them.
Basically…they rely on one another too much and it’s bad for their relationship, either platonic or romantic. It’s unhealthy no matter what way you look at it. Again, it’s not bad to lean on a partner or a friend, but you need open communication to be able to do that without putting unnecessary strain on both yourself and your partner. However, this is something that can be fixed, so just because it’s unhealthy doesn’t mean their relationship is bad. They just need to learn how to communicate. Which (spoiler alert)…… they eventually do, ha.
(Just a warning, this next part goes into some minor spoilers for the next chapter, as well as TPWM. Mostly about Mondo’s headspace and things like that. Just a warning.)
Now, onto the manipulative part… see, while I can understand why you’d see it that way, I don’t for one main reason. And that reason is because Mondo is going through the exact same problems Taka is, but even worse somehow, because he refuses to take any strength from Taka. He thinks he must be strong at all hours, must be able to handle everything just fine on his own, but he honestly can’t. Not only is he going through his own problems and grief, but he’s also kind of going through Taka’s, too. He’s giving a lot of himself to Taka, being the pillar that Taka needs, but he’s not really getting any feedback in return. Like…
Okay. So, I mentioned that Mondo knows Taka likes him, right? And he does. Taka is kind of obvious about his feelings and Mondo is a perceptive person. But the thing is… Mondo doesn’t actually think the feelings are real. Or, more accurately… he doesn’t think they’d be real if Taka truly knew Mondo.
I’ve been trying to write about this for ages, because I know it’s not been portrayed all that well in TPWP, but Mondo, like… straight up hates himself in this story. And I mean he hates every single aspect of himself. He hates his anger, he hates his weakness… he even hates his kindness, not because he thinks kindness is weakness, but because he doesn’t think it’s real. Like… Mondo was abused in this story, right? He was abused and neglected, and that kind of alters a person’s view of the world. Yes, he had Daiya, but Daiya wasn’t exactly perfect himself. Not to mention he is currently dead, which also really negatively affected Mondo.
I go over this in TPWM a lot, but Mondo doesn’t think himself capable of being kind and gentle. He thinks all he’s good for is being cruel and violent. He wants to helps people, but he doesn’t know how to do it properly. So, instead, he helps by beating up would be rapists or muggers, by stealing from corrupt businesses and giving that stuff to those who need it, things like that. He wants to help people, but he thinks the only way he can do it is by being cruel and violent. He doesn’t think he’s capable of being kind.
He wants to be kind for Taka, though. He wants to be kind and gentle and soft and loving. He wants to be the kind of person that Taka could love and wants to be worthy of loving Taka in return. He wants it so, so bad.
But…
But he doesn’t think he can. He doesn’t think it’s something he can possibly be. All the kindness that we see him do with Taka? The way he soothes Taka and helps him with his problems? He doesn’t think it’s actually real. He thinks it’s an act. Something he’s doing for Taka’s benefit only. And oh, he wants it to be real, wants that so bad, but he can’t allow himself to think it’s real. Because, to him… he’s not allowed to be kind and soft and gentle. Those are things he can’t possibly feel. He’s not allowed.
He knows, objectively, that Taka loves him, but in Mondo’s mind, it’s not him Taka loves. It’s the act Mondo is putting on. It’s the fact Mondo was his first friend and was the first person to treat him kindly. It’s the fact that Taka is a wonderful person and can look passed the horrible things Mondo has done and even possibly see something of value in him. But Taka doesn’t actually love him. Taka can’t, because he doesn’t know who Mondo truly is. And if he did… well.
(Also, just a note, but he also doesn’t think it’s actually love. He’s thinks it’s more like… puppy love or a crush. Not the kind of love Taka actually feels. He doesn’t quite realize how deep Taka’s love runs, because he doesn’t think himself worthy of that love.)
Additionally, a big thing that I explore in TPWM is that Mondo is absolutely convinced that Taka will leave him one day. That Taka will realize that he’s too good for Mondo and will leave Mondo for better pastures, as it were. And Mondo… Mondo is okay with that. Don’t get me wrong, the thought it hurts him terribly and it breaks his heart, since he truly does love Taka, but he knows it’s for the better and that it’s what Taka needs. Taka could never achieve his goals if Mondo were beside him. Mondo knows this and he is willing to back down if that’s what Taka needs. He’s willing to be a stepping stone if it helps Taka advance.
And, as y’all can prolly tell, this isn’t healthy. At all. Mondo has put Taka on so high of a pedestal in his mind that Taka is almost godlike, with Mondo an unworthy worshiper on the ground. And that’s super unfair to both of them. Mondo lifts Taka up by putting himself down and it just furthers the divide between them.
But the reason why Mondo doesn’t leave Taka himself is because he wants to help Taka. He wants to get Taka to see how perfect he is, that his insecurities don’t matter. He wants to build Taka up and help him grow. He doesn’t know how, is struggling a lot, but he wants to help Taka if he possibly can.
And now, back to the manipulative thing, finally… with all of this in mind, I don’t think Mondo can really be seen as manipulative, you know? Because manipulation needs to be conscious. It has to be a person thinking “hm, I want something from this person and I’m going to do whatever I can to get it, even play with their emotions.” But that’s not what Mondo is doing. Not at all.
When Mondo does sexual things with Taka, it’s very complicated in Mondo’s mind. There’s a reason why he freaked out the first time they did it, and it was because he thought he took advantage of Taka. Mondo had been having unwholesome thoughts about Taka for ages and when he and Taka did what they did, Mondo thought that he’d taken advantage of Taka’s naivety and trusting nature. He hated himself so much in that moment, hating what he just did to Taka, certain that he’d just betrayed Taka’s trust entirely. In fact… he prolly thought himself manipulative in that moment, thinking that he’d manipulated Taka into doing that with him. When Taka said he didn’t, that it was okay… well. Y’all know what happened then.
Honestly, I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this… this is a really hard thing for me to write about, since it’s all about emotions and things and a lot of it is based on how I view the world. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve been struggling so much to explain it, oof. I’ll try to keep going to see if I can’t get something intelligible out.
Anyway. The reason Mondo kept on doing sexual things with Taka despite his misgivings was for two reasons. One that he allowed himself to acknowledge, and one that he kept hidden away, ashamed of it. The one he acknowledged is that it helped Taka relax and learn to not be so uptight, which was always a goal of Mondo’s. He wanted to help Taka and let him see that it’s okay to want things like that. It’s even okay for Taka to be gay, like Mondo was nearly positive Taka was.
His second reason was a lot more selfish, and it’s obviously because Mondo wanted it, too. At first he denied that in himself, pretended that he couldn’t possibly want Taka like that, that he only did it to help Taka. But as time went on, and once everything that happened in the kitchen happened… Mondo realized that he did want it. Want Taka. He hated himself for it, but he couldn’t deny it any longer. He wanted Taka.
But more than that… more than that, Mondo realized that he lovedTaka. More than as a friend or brother. He was in love with Taka and that just… it was so hard for Mondo to acknowledge because he still doesn’t think himself worthy of it. Of loving Taka. Of being loved by Taka. He cannot view Taka as a potential love interest because he doesn’t think he deserves it.
By having him and Taka go on their ‘not-a-date date,’ Mondo was kind of testing the waters. He was trying to see if a relationship between him and Taka could work out. If such a thing were possible. He didn’t ask Taka out, since he knows he has problems with that, and also… it would have made it so much harder for him, having it be voiced like that. It would make it real, a real thing they’re doing, and the pressure would have destroyed Mondo. Completely and fully.
In fact, that’s why Mondo ran at the end of the last chapter. By having Taka say “I’m in love with you,” suddenly everything became real in a way Mondo couldn’t handle. He was doing his best to go through the date without freaking out, without panicking. But then Taka kissed him, said he loved him, and for the first time Mondo allowed himself to acknowledge that oh god, Taka actually means this, he honestly thinks that he’s in love with him, it’s not just puppy love for him, and that just… it was too much. He couldn’t handle it and everything he was trying so hard to keep down came back up again. His self-hatred. His lack of self-worth. He didn’t deserve Taka’s love, he felt. He didn’t deserve to have Taka view him positively. He didn’t deserve to have Taka, period.
He spent their entire friendship dreading the day Taka would leave him, and for the first time… Mondo had to deal with the thought that maybe Taka wouldn’t leave. That maybe Taka was content with staying for the rest of his life, if possible. And that scared Mondo so much, because he knows what he’s like. And he knows that he’d find a way to ruin it. That even if Taka doesn’t want to leave now, Mondo would ruin it and hurt Taka, and Mondo… Mondo couldn’t do that. Couldn’t hurt Taka, not on purpose. Not even on accident. He couldn’t bear the thought of hurting Taka, but he knew that he would if he stays with Taka.
When he ran, that wasn’t out of malice or a desire to hurt Taka. Instead, that was Mondo’s way of protecting Taka from the panic Mondo could feel building inside of him. Panic that he knows from experience turns all too easily to rage. He didn’t want to hurt Taka. He never wanted to hurt Taka, but he could feel it building up and he knew he couldn’t stop it no matter how hard he tried. So, he fled, knowing that running was the only thing he could possibly do to make things even somewhat better.
There’s a lot more I could write here about what happens next, but y’all won’t understand it without context, ha. I did write it down and I will be posting it with the next chapter, so look for it on my blog then if you want to know more about that.
But the main thing I want to get across here is just that… that Mondo wasn’t being manipulative, because manipulation needs to be conscious, and because Mondo never really thought that Taka truly loved him. He couldn’t think that. He thought he was giving Taka what he wanted by being sexual with him, not realizing Taka needed more. Mondo had no idea that Taka loved him so much, didn’t think such a thing was possible. Also, Mondo wasn’t trying to get sex out of Taka. He didn’t go into the whole thing thinking “heh, I’m gonna use Taka’s feelings to get off, no care for how he feels about the matter.” Mondo legit wanted to do everything with Taka and was doing his best to be what Taka needed. He just… didn’t realize that Taka needed more from him. And by the time he did, he didn’t know how to give it.
Sometimes people who have mental illness or trauma they are struggling with can look manipulative from an outside perspective. But manipulation needs to be conscious. Or it has to be deliberately done to get something. Mondo wasn’t trying to get anything from Taka. He was trying to be selfless and give Taka what he wanted. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know what Taka wanted, since Taka never told him. This goes back to my first point, in that the main problem Taka and Mondo face is that they don’t communicate. While we all know that Taka loves Mondo, and Mondo knew Taka at least had a crush on him, it’s not quite as obvious how deep that love ran. Not from an outside perspective. Mondo thought it was Taka loving the idea of him. Or loving the kindness Mondo showed him. Mondo didn’t realize that Taka was able to see all of his flaws and love him regardless. And that’s not really his fault.
Ultimately, the main thing I wanted to show with this story is that neither Taka nor Mondo are perfect. They are flawed people, but they still deserve to be happy. They deserve to make it through their struggle and come out the other side happy and together. Mondo has some pretty bad flaws with his anger, but it doesn’t make him a bad person. Having anger issues doesn’t mean you are inherently bad or abusive. It just means you have to be careful and conscious of your problems. And Mondo is trying, guys. He really is. It’s just hard for him and he slips up sometimes. Y’all will have to keep this in mind for the next chapter, because… yeah. It gets bad.
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Anyway, I hope this kind of went over your concerns! I know it was a lot more than what was asked for, but y’all know me. I never do anything by halves 😅 Feel free to ask any further questions if this didn’t explain what you wanted it to!!! I never mind explaining things, even if I’m not always the best at getting it across. I think this all will be explained better in TPWM, though I’ve not actually written any of the sexual chapters from Mondo’s perspective yet. I’m still writing the companion to chapter 18, which was the bathhouse chapter, oof. One day I will get to finishing TPWM. Even if it takes me years. Which I’m hoping it won’t, but honestly… who knows anymore. -.-
(Oh! I also wanted to talk about this earlier, but didn't know where to fit it in. But you mention "basic logic" in your question. My answer to that part is... what part of either Taka or Mondo's actions in TPWP are at all logical?? 😅😅😅 These are two dumb, emotionally stunted teenagers. Logic doesn't really factor into their actions as much as it should. Taka tries to be logical, but he fails at it a lot, ha. It's easy for people outside to think "well, this is what would be most logical," but remember that in the heat of the moment, logic doesn't always apply. Especially for teens.)
(Also! I forgot to address the other part of you ask, about the apology thing. And yeah, that is something that I failed to add to this story, but a lot of it is due to the apologies not really fitting into the flow of my writing. A lot of the things Mondo has to apologize for are things that he did in the beginning of the story, and bringing that up in later chapters would stop the story dead and it would just... it was awkward whenever I'd try writing it. But I always imagined that Mondo did apologize for that stuff, I just never was able to write it organically. Maybe one day I'll write a one shot about it, if I ever have the time, ha.
Now, if you meant for things that happened after they became friends... I'll admit that I'm not entirely sure what Mondo has to apologize for. He apologized for what happened on Halloween and-- more than that-- he showed through action that he was going to change. And if there are other times you think Mondo should have apologized but didn't... can you let me know, so I can either explain why I didn't have him apologize, or see if I can add an apology in there if it works? It's late and I'm trying to remember if there is another time when Mondo messed up... there was chapter 20-22, but that was a complicated situation, and I believe I had Mondo apologize there? Not a big apology, but it was something... I think??? Like I said, it's late and I'm exhausted, so let me know if there is a part you want clarification on, since I've been trying to have Mondo not seem like too big of a jerk, ha.)
Thanks for the ask, though!!! I hope I didn't seem unhappy with the question at all, ha. Like I said, I like clarifying things if they're unclear in the story. :-)
#Ask Answers#Oof this became a lot longer than I intended#I hope it makes sense#Let me know if it doesn't!!#I know Mondo can be a jerk in this story#But I don't want him to come across as uncaring or hurtful to Taka#Not on purpose#Not since they became friends at least.
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