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writingforatwistedworld · 1 month

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Hi! Can i ask for a self aware twst when the reader surprises adopted Silver as their son. Like just pointing at him and saying 'you are my child now' with Silver, Lilia and Sebek. Hope you have a good day!

Hehe. Anon, you know what you are doing. In fact, I would say you even want the chaos. And for that I love you come here so I can hug you.

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, Diasomnia chapter spoilers (Lilias part, maybe Sebek), religion, violence, isolation, kidnapping, obsessive behavior

Lilia Vanrouge/(Platonic) Silver/Sebek Zigvolt-Adopting Silver

Oh ok. Cool cool coolcoolcoolcoolcool

Well, at least that one room dedicated to you in the form of an altar can now be used for more practical uses (finally)

When Lilia heard you say those words and point at his son, he fell from the chandelier he was dangling from

Not only did he have to navigate through not accidentally telling his son that he was the blood related son of an enemy general and that exactly this general killed Malleus mom

But also that he had now a second parent that also happened to be god

Mhm totally normal

Conversations to strangers about his family were already playing out like this in his head:

Hi, I am Lilia Vanrouge, yes the one in your history book, this is my son Silver, yes he looks like a certain knight, and my lovely partner and also parent of this lovely human, yes, FU**ING GOD THEMSELVES

Ah yes, sitting in church will totally not be awkward after this

Bro legit sits you down with a pen and paper, asking you to sign the marriage certificate

Asks you what flowers you want to have on your wedding. Doesn't matter if you are a woman, man or identify as something else, he is planning that

Also has already planned out how to get you into the Valley of Thorns without anyone noticing

Because no matter how devoted he is to you, he will always be too greedy to share your attention with someone else

You could have said this as a joke or some other protective instinct towards the silver-haired male but all that man's father hears is a marriage proposal

Lilia is just happy that you feel some sort of positive way to his family member (makes things easier when you are stuck in that cabin)

I mean, he did see Silver as a present from you, a child meant to bring him back to the light after being so long in the shadow of war

And now the three of you were together! How lovely!

Which would mean that you planned this all along. Dear Overseer, if you liked the idea of you being a family you could have just told him so

He will be the best partner to raise a child together you could dream of

And should someone dare to interrupt the perfect, peaceful life you three (plus two more) had, he wouldn't mind swinging that sword again

Wait what?

What do you mean with that?

Are you sure you want him to be your son? Really?

Apparently he was not the only one surprised since he could hear the thud of his father falling to the ground behind him and Seek screaming somewhere behind him

Be prepared for a silver haired knight to look at you with the biggest puppy eyes and ask "Do you really want me as you son?"

Critical hit! Someone call a doctor. I think the Valley of Thorns god can be killed by cuteness

After that he is glued to your side (even though you have to part sooner or later since he is not living in Ramshackle)

One morning you woke up to the guy standing there with some food being like "I made some food."

Like where the Heck did he even get the keys for the dorm? (He broke in through a hole in the ceiling)

Silver always comes running to you whenever he does something and wants praises

Once he was best in one of his classes and he stood there with the report like he could turn into a dog and get headpats from you any second

But, as I am sure you are aware of, this is a blog with yandere themes and we have to say goodbye to the fluff at some point

That sword training comes in handy is all I'm saying

I mean, he has probably enough strength to break someone's leg with his bare hands by simply applying some pressure

And that one Diasomnia student that tried to take his son-status away from him was found again in a not-so-compatible-state-with-life kind of situation

I'm letting you imagine what happened

Like Lilia he is ready to burn everyone who dares to interfere with your little family

The forests of his homeland are pretty though so no need to worry about the appearance of your surroundings once they bring you to your new home (who needs social interaction anyways?)

A second of silence

And then the screaming started

“OH HOW KIND OF OUR OVERSEER! TO SHOW A MORTAL THEIR KINDNESS AND CARING SIDE!”

Seek would be lying if he said that he wasn't surprised

You, aka the Overseer, aka some higher being, AKA GOD, were known in the Valley of Thorns to be kind and caring, yet also distant and never approaching others directly

But then you literally adopt someone, making that person someone in your inner cycle?

Well, if Sebek knew one thing then that those Priests were going to have a crisis as soon as they learned about this

Totally not jealous

He would try to get closer to you since, apparently, you did allow others to get close to you

But he was happy as long as you were

After all, he was now the (not-so-official appointed) shield of the Valley of Thorns, something he got passed on by his grandfather

So of course he couldn't be family with you

That didn't mean he couldn't “help” you

Someone intruded on that dinner you had with Lilia and Silver?

Ouch… that punch must have hurt

Whenever Silver or his Father had to interfere because someone else came too close then they were some incredibly slick (looking at you Rook) or lucky person

Don't let his loud mouth fool you

This crocodile has done unmentionables in your name in order to make things easier for your new found family

For what? Oh you know, becoming his neighbor back home… forever

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swanpyart · 1 year

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Eternal Guilt, the kind that's attached to your back~

#inside job netflix #inside job #Ron staedtler #inside job ron #inside job fanart #inside job Ron staedtler #tw: religious themes #tw: religious trauma #cw: religious trauma #cw: religious themes #tw: religion #scopo tw #fanart

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sunlightmurdock · 2 months

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Summer 1977 | Jake Seresin

Mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice. She said: “We are all just prisoners here of our own device.” | Jake. He even says his own name like he likes the sound of it. Like he thinks you’ll like the sound of it. Backwards, his boots fall into line behind each other; you don’t even realise you’re following him until his footprints are the only ones in the mud anymore.

aeterna | bradley

#Jake Seresin #jake hangman seresin #Jake seresin x reader #Jake Seresin au #jake seresin x you #Jake Seresin smut #thots night (:#top gun maverick #tw: violence #tw: blood #tw: horror #tw: religion #tw: religious themes #tw: clowns

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rklover13 · 4 months

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Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are inconsistent in their origins, not just the world building

I want to post something I've been thinking about for a while, and I haven't seen it mentioned too much in the critical community.

The world of HB/HH is a mess, and I don't mean the worldbuilding of the shows.

Disclaimer/Info: I grew up in the Protestant church, specifically: Methodist, Southern Baptist, and Charismatic. I am very familiar with Protestant Christianity in the US, including the Evangelical church thanks to a family member. I am no longer religious, but not quite atheist, and I wanted to shout into the void.I will say that I do not particularly care about the inaccuracies. I grew up with so much media misconstruing mainstream beliefs, and now, I just don't care about what Vivziepop does in regards to whether something is accurate or not. This is more of a ramble about why the elements are clashing. Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel pull from a long list of sources when it comes to world building and they all contribute to criticisms of the execution.

TLDR : Vivziepop pulls from varied, disparate sources, and does not integrate them in a logical way, making the world of Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel an even larger mess.

The main inspirations:

Dante's Inferno: This one is pretty obvious. The idea of rings of Hell come from Dante's Inferno specifically. Except, she isn't depicting the rings Dante described: Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, and Treachery. (Source https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferno_(Dante))

Seven Deadly Sins: The concept of the deadly sins originated in the fourth century, and was revised in the sixth. (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins)

Hell: This one is obvious. Vivziepop is depicting Christian Hell as a place where sinners are tormented for all eternity. Hell does not exist in the canon Bible, and not in the way churches preach about it. (Source: https://www.paulmclellan.com/blog/2019/4/9/hell-as-a-lake-of-fire-for-eternal-punishment-does-not-exist-in-the-bible). Lots of misconstrued verses lead to this idea, and I suggest looking more into it. Okay, so Christian Hell, as taught by churches in let's say in mainstream Western Christianity (US caveat aside). That's perfectly fine!

But then we get Alastor. Before I say anything else, I am white, and I fully acknowledge, appreciate, and defer to the criticisms of depicting a long-demonized religion.

Vivziepop declared Alastor mixed after she was criticized for using Vodou symbols in the pilot when it first aired. The problem with this? It's not canon. If it isn't depicted within the work, it shouldn't be considered gospel. It's like JK Rowling declaring Dumbledore gay. It does not matter if it isn't depicted. Either way, we have a sinner associated with another religion in Hell... which means, to be consistent in this world, there would be sinners of EVERY SINGLE OTHER RELIGION. Because that is the Hell that churches teach! Anyone who does not believe in Christianity is sentenced to eternal suffering. So there should be a helluva (couldn't resist) lot of sinners that follow Hinduism, Islam, Judaism (yep, God's chosen people, but they would be sent to Hell in mainstream Christian doctrine), etc. But, Viv wouldn't dare to depict that (I am not saying she should). If one religion is depicted in Hell, then ALL religions must be depicted in Hell. Onto the next big thing:

Demon Origins: So, we have mainstream depictions of Hell, and also Dante's inferno, and now we are adding in...

Demons from the Lesser Key of Solomon including Paimon and Stolas (Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Weyer; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_demons_in_the_Ars_Goetia).

Asmodeus from the Book of Tobit. This book is canon in the Eastern Orthodox, but not in the Jewish Orthodox, or the Protestant.. conglomeration (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Tobit).

The Seven Deadly Princes from Peter Binsfield (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classification_of_demons#Binsfeld's_classification_of_demons)

And then a few canon (as in Biblical canon), demons like Leviathan, Satan and Lucifer.

It's an interesting pull, a lot of demonology books popped up in the 16th century. But, it makes it cluttered. The Lesser Key of Solomon has 72 demons alone! It's plenty good for an afterlife depiction. So Vivziepop has mixed in many sources to depict many demons that don't actually go with the demons in Inferno (for further reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malebranche_(Divine_Comedy)). Instead, she mixes the Seven Princes, with the Seven Deadly Sins, and makes those the rings. And finally:

LILITH

Lilith is a fascinating figure that I really only learned more about recently. Lilith is not canonical in any orthodoxy that I am aware of. She appeared in the Alphabet of Sirach, a work from around 700-1000 CE. I haven't been able to find sources on if she was a part of Jewish culture prior to that time, but I will admit I'm not going SUPER in depth, and here is some further reading: https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/alphabet-of-ben-sira https://www.learnreligions.com/legend-of-lilith-origins-2076660

Lilith is not in Biblical canon, or in the books I previously mentioned. She was mentioned in a few works in the 1800s, as well as in one of Aleister Crowley's books. A quick overview of her figure is that she is thought to be Adam's first wife, who refused to be submissive (and in some teachings, refused to have sex in the Missionary position), and left the Garden of Eden. Some teachings say that she became the mother of demons. Personal gripe, Lilith could have been incorporated more into Hazbin Hotel because like, give me a dominant woman, who is also a mother, and can fuck up all the demons. So to tally, we have: Rings of Hell, but not Dante's. Seven deadly princes from one author in the 16th century, tied to the seven deadly sins from the fifth. Ars Goetia, from another author in the 16th century. Lucifer AND Satan (traditionally, these are considered the same beings, which would make sense for the Hell she is depicting) Traditional church teachings of sinners being tormented for all eternity Demons from the Bible, but also Lilith, who is not a canon part of any of the Abrahamic religions (as best as I can tell). I could also go into how there are only cherubs (weak little guys in the show), and angels. When she could go hard with depicting the hierarchy of angels, after all, she's doing complex nonsense with the demons. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hierarchy_of_angels) All of this leads to a very confused and messy world. Sure, something like this could work! But it definitely doesn't in Vivziepop's world. End of ramble, and for the amazing creative people that are doing rewrites, maybe some things mentioned here can help!

#helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #helluvaboss critism #hazbin hotel criticism #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #long post #tw: religion

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jo-harrington · 27 days

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TW: Death and Catholicism

Eddie as someone you meet at a funeral.

You’re a great-niece, he’s a grandson’s friend. You both really only knew the deceased distantly but in different lights.

To Eddie she was the lady who pinched his arm, fed him too much food, asked if he had a girlfriend, and said she knew some nice girls if he was having trouble dating. To you she was the lady who pinched your arm, fed you too much, asked if you had a boyfriend, and said she knew some nice boys if you were having trouble dating.

Nice to him. Rude to you. That’s just who she was though. To everyone. She had her favorites.

But you’re both there for your cousin more than you’re there for yourselves.

He ends up sitting near you at the funeral home, dressed in black. Well, everyone is. But it’s how you wear those black clothes. You both wear a comfortable shroud while everyone else shuffled in dresses that don’t fit and shoes that pinch and rented suits with ties that choke.

Funeral homes have formative memories for both of you. You bond over it in those drawn out minutes…hours where you connect with strangers only to probably never see them again. For him, it’s his mother and in return he gained a love of heavy metal and the inexplicable need to March to the beat of his own drum just like she did. For you, a grandma you were too young to really know.

“You and Danny have that in common then,” he tries to lighten the mood. “Dead grandma’s.”

“I think everyone gets a dead grandma at some point. Sometimes even two.”

“That’s fair.”

“Mine died on my 5th birthday though,” you tell him truthfully. “So I think I had it worse off than he does.”

“Gotta hold him to that then. He’s a cocky shit.”

“Yeah he is. He still holds some Mario Kart victory over me from when we were 7.”

You both fumble at the church as you seek out a familiar face—although for you it’s a sea of familiar faces you wish you didn’t have to see—and you guide him through, to you, partially forgotten prayers and the sitting and standing and you even hold his hand during the Our Father. He doesn’t let you go because he feels you shake with the uneven ground of your faith.

“I don’t do church anymore,” you whisper.

“Me either,” he whispers back. “Would you believe me if I told you people used to think I worshipped Satan?”

“Would you believe me if I told you I might currently worship Satan?”

“No shit.”

“Meh, anything that isn’t Jesus might as well be Satan to my mom so it’s not that much of a stretch.”

He doesn’t ask where your mom is. Where the rest of your immediate family is. And it’s nice for that to be the first time not to have to answer that question.

You continue to hold hands as the casket is sealed behind a stone wall, as your aunt and her secrets get locked away forever. Eddie remarks that it’s weird to bury people behind walls instead of in the ground. You think it’s weird that he thinks it’s weird; it’s all you’ve ever known.

You offer to show him around the big mausoleum if he plays his cards right.

It’s a joke. You both know it’s a joke.

But after Danny approaches the two of you once the service is over, and thanks and hugs are shared, he stands there with his hands in his pockets and stared at you expectantly.

“So?” He shrugs. “Grand tour?”

You’re speechless but you nod.

“And I know a place that does a good eggplant parm san—”

“Eggplant Parm Sandwich,” you nod. “Cue’s. Off Wolf Road? Yeah it’s my favorite.”

“Mine too. We can get some lunch?”

“Sure.”

And you both think as you walk around the silent cemetery.

You think your aunt must not have been so bad, and he thinks she must have been as good as he always thought she was.

Because she filled her promise of introducing you both to someone nice after all.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #TW: death #tw: religion #tw: catholicism #RIP Zia - the best thing that you gave me was an inferiority complex and an excuse to go to the cemetery #Maybe I’ll meet someone at your funeral but I’m not gonna hold my breath

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alterhuman-culture-is · 2 months

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fallenangelkin (+religious trauma ig) culture is getting mad and uncomfortable when religious ppl are like "God loves you" like, oh yeah? then why did He throw me out of heaven huh? (and saying nothing and sitting there uncomfortably bc its not like im gonna fucking say that out loud)

#alterhuman culture is #alterhuman #otherkin #angel #angelkin #fallen angel #fallen angelkin #negative #tw #tw: religion

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oceanamethyst · 5 months

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god created the day and night. the day turns to night; the night turns to day. there's dusk and dawn. satan did not create dusk, dawn. satan did not create the day turning into the night, or the night turning into day, god did. and god saw everything, and he said it was beautiful.

same applies to lgbtq+

(if you are not religious, this post is not for you. please just ignore this.)

#ocean speaks #ocean posts #christianity #tw: religion #tw: christianity #lgbtq+ christian #queer christian #lgbt christian #lgbt+ christian #trans #transgender #trans christian #transgender christian #lgbtq+

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writingforatwistedworld · 3 months

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Hii, I'm glad you're back . Even if it was for a few days you really left a place in tumblr not just for your work but for your presence itself.

I had a question for a while and I'm sorry if you answered it before and I seemed to not notice , if that's the case then forgive my ignorance but I was wondering , since sebek seems to respect his grandfather alot and has inherited the hate for humans from him and it's a known fact in self-aware au that the faes 'love' the overseer alot I must say.. does that mean that sebek also inherited his 'love' for the overseer from his granpa? If so how did green grandpa see the overseer, what made him 'love' them and how does he show it .

If you don't want to write this then feel free to ignore it , hope you have a great day and don't forget to drink water and eat well<33

Hi there Anon. It's so sweet of you to say that. I didn't think I would have made such an impression on anyone. But I completely forgot to write about Sebeks grandfather -_-

Well, better late than never.

Self-aware au

WARNINGS: Jp-version spoiler (like, the whole thing!!!), (Platonic!) yandere themes, war, religion, unhealthy mindset, isolation, unhealthy family dynamic

(Platonic!) Yandere headcanons

Ah yes, our local way too loud and loyal member of the reptilian family. No need to to worry about him. I mean, what could go wrong? (Hehe…)

Baul was not from the Valley of Thorns. Growing up in Sunset Savannah he did not grow up with the beliefs of the Faes (in other words, he was not part of a religious cult)

So imagine the huge shock he felt when he finally became a solider under the Draconia banner and started to become more and more like the other Faes

Well, for starters, yes, he wasn't indoctrinated into the whole church thing since birth but also wasn't raised to see you as an equal like the beastmen of the Savannah

You could say that he was a healthy mixture of both

Emphasis on the “was”

You see, isolation and being the only one sticking out (if we discount the humans invading the valley) does leave you open for a lot of things

If we count two (being the surroundings he was in) and two (his more or less unnoticed loneliness) together, we can see pretty fast where that led

Never mind his superior (and friend I mean come on they might as well be brothers) Lilia constantly rambling about the Overseer, savior of all, and how you accepted everyone in your kind embrace

Ok. Nice. Neat. Great. In the beginning, Baul wasn't very interested in joining any kind of religion

But the longer the war held on, the more he wished there was someone he could ask for help in his task of protecting those he deemed close to himself (you see the generational pattern?)

At some point, even the proudest of all can't hold on for forever

So he turned to you, the supposed God that was on so gentle

And goddamn that religious gaslighting and placebo effect worked damn well

Not only did he feel like there was someone there who supported him from somewhere in the universe (even though that was just him believing too much but let have him have some hope, ok?) but also he finally had a community

Whenever he would leave one of the many churches in the valley a Fae would approach, thanking him for protecting their home

Sooner than later did the former non-believer think of himself as your chosen shield of the valley

The war came and went away

If only the same thing could be said about Bauls new religious beliefs

And when he saw that grandson of his, cute little chubby hands that gripped a wooden toy sword tightly, he knew that his position as the valleys shield would not cease

Yes, even Baul would die one day. Fae or not, he was at the end of the day mortal

But that talent of his grandson would surely be of use to you, right?

If his younger self would see him like this, would it run away? Would it feel disgust at the thought that his future self would use his own grandson for selfish, religious reasons?

If only Baul knew that “God” didn't even know they were living beings that existed in a different world…

#yandere twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst x reader #self aware au #platonic #twst x reader #baul zigvolt #twst baul #Platonic Baul #tw: yandere #tw: religion #tw: obsessive behavior #tw: family problems #tw: unhealthy mindset

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aurumacadicus · 19 days

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I think people need to calm down a little when other people make funny jokes about Jesus. Like, a man who preached kindness, love, and care to your neighbor definitely also had a sense of humor. Jesus would have thought my joke was funny.

#me #real life tbh #tw: religion #anyway happy easter lmao

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oldworldwidgets · 1 month

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TEDDY TIME TEDDY TIME

howdy pardners this is theodore dawson, my courier from new vegas :3 he is very large and very angry yet very soft and very gay and he is so precious to me

here's his playlist!! once again it's chronological so u can listen to his story like a fun yeehaw jukebox musical. i think his is my favorite of all my character playlists

alllll the teddy stuff (appearance, stats, story before the canon events of the game, fun facts) can be found under the cut!!! if you feel so inclined to read The Long Version written like a story where my longwinded ass spends about 7k words talking about themes and character motivations (and some soft gay longing perhaps), it's up on ao3 here.

appearance

31 years old; birthday sept 25, 2250

6’6 with broad shoulders, generally built like a securitron.

patches of vitiligo splash across his face, chest, and arms

bennys bullet hit the right side of his face, carving a path from his eye to his ear, where a chunk of his ear is missing

because of this, he's blind in his right eye. the blind eye (a light, milky blue) is always a bit more closed than the seeing one (a dark grey/blue)

dark auburn chin-length hair and a short beard, both peppered with white because of his age and vitiligo. a big chunk of hair behind his ear is white as it grows from the scar.

he wears a horse or cow-skin vest with a great khans patch on the back

signature black cowboy hat, either on the top of his head or tied around his neck so it hangs down his back

gold jewelry - dangly cross earring in his left ear, upside down cross on a leather strap around his neck, big ass belt buckle

bright red shotgun shells on leather belt slung around his waist for his shotgun, dinner dell

stats

SPECIAL: 8, 1, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10

favorite perks: confirmed bachelor, animal friend, ferocious loyalty, intimidating presence

story

his dad was raised in utah and was very strictly mormon. when new jerusalem collapsed, dad moved himself, his wife, and his first son to the mojave and found work on an NCR sharecropper farm.

teddy was born fifth of six kids: four older brothers and one younger sister. he, his sister hannah, and his brother noah all have very visible vitiligo.

the kids were all also raised strictly mormon. his whole childhood, they were very poor. "at least we have each other" poor. his dad blamed it on the NCR, who owned the house and land and animals they ranched. they owned nothing, and the NCR paid them little more than that. teddy was quickly disillusioned with the NCR, then with the three of his brothers who decided to join them. one brother stayed back to inherit the ranch.

turns out, the NCR was paying; dad was just gambling it all away. he was so deeply in debt to all the families on the strip that they all decided to cut their losses and burn his farm to the ground.

that's... that's the story teddy decided to tell hannah, anyway (he wouldnt tell u this but he totally burnt that shit down on purpose). mom, dad, and one of his brothers were lost in the fire. teddy and hannah made it out, waved goodbye, parted ways.

teddy took his horse, old red, and began running jobs for whoever needed them. he never tied himself to one organization aaand his jobs weren't always above the ethical board. really, it was luck of the draw that, on any given day, he was the one defending the caravan instead of stealing from it

when he eventually went searching for his siblings, he found that two of the three brothers that had enlisted, predictably, were killed on duty. noah, though, had absconded almost immediately upon arrival due to a nasty chem habit

he found hannah "working" in front of gomorrah on the stip - her vitiligo made them instantly recognizable to each other - but she pretended not to know him because she was ashamed. he understood and gave up, but not before she hinted that he could find noah at the old mormon fort

he did, in fact, find noah there, medically detoxing under the care of some hot, blonde doctor (bweheheh....). they reconnected and it was..... really nice, even when they talked about how ashamed their dad would be if he could see them. it didnt matter. the family disappointments were the only family survivors.

teddy and arcade quickly grew very fond of each other, with arcade even being the first one to call him "teddy" after he told the doctor his name was theodore. he decided, despite its cutesy nature, to keep it.

after finishing his open jobs, teddy decided to stay with noah at the fort and run jobs for the followers when they needed it. he got reeeal comfy with arcade, and their subtle, playful flirtations eventually became noticeable to others. his brother, angry and sick from chem withdrawal and still fighting his religious upbringing, could not handle finding out that his baby brother was gay. when he did, he angrily shouted slurs and threw bottles at them until he was sedated and returned to bed.

teddy left the fort that night while everyone but the night watchman slept. he struggled to recover from what happened and drifted listlessly for a while... until he heard the news that noah had fled from his "rehab" program in the fort the day after teddy left, overdosed, and died.

the news spurred something in him, and he went looking for a real family and place to call home. after excelling in his initiation trials, he found one with the great khans. for two years, he was their resident rancher, runner, therapist, you name it.

then: 2278. the bitter springs massacre. teddy was away when it happened, and he still hasnt forgiven himself for it.

he spent the next three years drifting - again. hunting NCR. somehow racking up bounties in seemingly every single tribe in the mojave. his infamy, believe it or not, helped him survive: when he came across those who would kill him or turn him in, they seemed to prioritize who got to turn him in and collect the bounty over keeping themselves alive. whoops!

it was exhausting, though. drifting, killing, taking on the wasteland completely alone (except his beloved animals) took a heavy toll on teddy. he'd always been a killer and an outlaw, but he'd always been paid to clear other people's consciences. now, he felt he was only killing people to run from the consequences of his own actions. it was exhausting.

so, when three strangers – one in a loud, black-and-white checkered blazer – tried to knock him out and bind his hands, well… he had no reason not to let them.

*aint that a kick in the head starts blaring*

fun facts

hes not a big chem guy but hes such an alcoholic. in game he keeps at least 10 whiskeys on him at all times but would prefer to drink a sarsaparilla over using a stimpak.

he needs glasses pretty badly for his one seeing eye but he’s too stubborn to wear them

his scars always look a bit irritated because he doesnt take care of himself

he was a big pistol guy before benny shot him, but after he went blind in his aiming eye and started suffering from bouts of dizziness, he became a shotgunner. they require a far-from-perfect style of aiming

#BEHOLD: TEDDY #tw: religion #tw: overdose #not teddy but an important (non-canon) character #oc: teddy #oldworld.ocs #fallout new vegas #new vegas oc #fallout oc #fnv oc #courier six #fnv courier #arcade gannon #followers of the apocalypse

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kazcreates · 21 days

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Jesper // Judas Parallels

Is this sacrilegious? This is how I figure out how to understand/come to terms with religion /lh

#six of crows #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #crooked kingdom #easter #religious trauma #tw: religion #christianity

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hannahssimblr · 2 months

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There’s an argument at the nightclub door tonight. Actually, there is an argument at the nightclub door every time I show up here without fail, because I do not possess ID.

“Of course I don’t have ID,” I explain to the bouncer, the same guy that’s here week after week yet refuses to admit that he remembers me, “C’mon, we both know how it’s going to be, we can do this silly little dance for two to three minutes and you’re going to let me in.”

“You’re too drunk.”

He’s right. “Look,” I sigh, “I’m here with girls, nice girls. Lovely girls and they’d like to come in too, wouldn’t you like for them to come in?” I cup the chin of Alison next to me, who theatrically bats her eyelashes and juts out her bottom lip, “Please,” she says, “we’re all so lovely and nice.”

The bouncer shuffles from one foot to the other, checking over his shoulder, and I know we’ve won. These men have a problem with underage boys coming into their clubs, but girls? The more girls the better. It doesn’t matter if they’re seventeen.

“Go in,” He says through clenched teeth, “and no hassle from you tonight, you hear me?”

“What?” I say loudly as we pass, “Sorry, couldn’t hear you. Anyway, bye.”

The club is vibrating, strobe lights flash and music pumps so loudly that I can’t hear what anyone is saying. I think Alison is talking to me, at least her mouth is moving, so I lean in closer and bellow into her ear, “What?”

“I was singing,” she screams back, “I just like this song!”

Everyone around us is shrieking at one another too, either that or swaying exotically against each other on the dancefloor, college aged girls all wearing the same shoes, men in the same shirts. In one fleeting, sober moment I look around me, at the clouds of dry ice, feel the floor sticking to my shoes and wish I was hanging out with Jen and watching TV instead. The moment ends abruptly as soon as Fitzy from rugby throws himself onto my back and starts chanting “shots, shots, shots!”

“Yeah, okay shots,” I say, attempting enthusiasm, “fuck it. Anything but tequila.”

As per my request we avoid tequila and we do some sort of hideous rainbow shot instead. I think that we are supposed to be impressed by the way the bartender pours it out, ten shot glasses in a line, each one of them a different colour, poured from the same nozzle. “You shouldn’t have bothered with that whole thing, they’ll all be down us in one second,” I tell him, but he doesn’t hear me.

We dance for a while, or at least we try to as a dozen secondary school kids without a shred of poise or grace to share between us, and mostly we just leap around the place and do stupid moves so that we cannot be accused of earnestly trying, and open ourselves up to the risk of real humiliation.

When Fitzy spots some girl he likes the look of, I try to force him to go and talk to her, but we won’t. He says he needs more shots for that, which is probably true because he’s a bit awkward, so I reckon Fitzy needs a few shots to get most things done. Maybe it’s a sign that one day he’ll be an alcoholic, but I try not to think about things like that when I’m jumping around on a crowded dance floor, it’s neither the time nor place for existential dread.

“Puh puh puh poker face puh puh pokerface” Alison sings as she dances around me, “Can't read my, can't read my no he can't read-uh my poker face....”

Alison knows the lyrics to everything. Even songs that I’m only just hearing for the first time, and I don't know how. Either she listens to this kind of thing in her spare time or she just has an amazing memory. It’s an interesting and charming detail about her. She's a good dancer too, even when she's just being silly, and I've often noticed the way that other girls copy her moves, looking to her for choreography whenever she's on the dance floor.

“Oh, ohh oh oh, ohhh oh,” She vocalises, “I’ll get him hot, show him what I got…”

I smile at her, “What’ve you got, Alison?”

Her hand curls around my neck as she pulls my ear to her mouth, “MDMA, if you want it.”

“Ha! Where’d you get that?”

“Someone at school.”

“Yeah? What else do you have?”

She laughs, “Do you think I’m a pharmacy? C’mere,” She takes my hand and leads up away from the dancefloor, up a set of carpeted stairs and to a quieter landing near where the toilets are. We sit on a fancy little couch that is coated in years of filth while she digs through her little handbag.

“Look, I’ll tell you the entire contents, a few pills, I’ve a little weed, three pretty squashed cigarettes, um, oh, a small bit of bag.”

“Oh, bag. I’ll take the bag.”

“Expensive taste, yeah?” She chuckles, “And you know, the idea of you on cocaine is like some kind of nightmare to me.”

“Why’s that?”

“You don’t need it babe, you’re already annoying enough.”

I gasp, “You’re awful, how can you say that?” but quickly give up acting offended and peer into the depths of her little quilted purse. My mother once told me to never, under any circumstances, go through a woman’s handbag but I honestly don’t think that rules like that apply to me.

I discover the saddest looking bag of cocaine I’ve ever seen and change my mind. “Fine, I’ll take the MDMA, but only because you insist.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I'll do it if you do it.”

“I know it's not your favourite...”

“Nah, no, come on, nobody should do pills on their own, that breaks my heart,” I hold out my hands like I’m receiving holy bread, and she tips one out of the little bag for me.

“Hey,” I rest my neck against the back of the couch, “We could do it the way those old ladies do at mass, yeah? Put it right on my tongue.”

Alison snickers, “I thought you were protestant. Have you even been to a mass?”

“No but please, I know how it goes,” I stick out my tongue while she delicately places a pill onto it. It starts dissolving straight away, the bitter chemical taste makes me wince and I wonder, just like I do every time I do this, whether it’s really worth it. They make these pills look so tasty with their bright colours and funny little imprints, but they're not exactly flavourtown.

“Are you single at the moment?” Alison wants to know, and I nod, grimacing as it goes down, “Yeah, why?”

“I knew it, you know why? Because you act like an unstable person when you are. You seem unwell at the moment.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah, though it’s fine.”

I look into her eyes, the blue of the sky before rain, and allow my pathetic feelings trickle in for a second. Sometimes I feel as though there is some crucial, working piece of me that’s been plucked out, leaving all of the other parts churning aimlessly like a clock with a missing cog, hands twitching desperately, uselessly, unable to move forward. I don’t think I like to be alone, in any sense. I think I need other people to feel complete, and I don’t know why that is.

I brush my fingers lightly along the side of Alison’s thigh, “And you?” I say softly, “are you single?”

“Yes, Jude.”

“Will you kiss me, then?”

Alison, when she kisses me, feels holy. She’s like a shrine whose feet I weep at, begging for healing. She and I, this is how we are, this is the cycle we repeat, when I’m lonely, when she’s lonely and we find ourselves in purgatory. She doesn’t want more from me than this, than this shallow kissing, masquerading as something with depth, and sex, sometimes, when we can find a place to have it. I shouldn’t want more either. I don’t think I really do, not if I’m honest with myself, but sometimes I want to ask her why not. Maybe she’s confusing on purpose. Maybe she just likes to punish men. I think that it’d be fair enough if she did. We as a collective have mostly been cruel to her.

“Are you going to bring me home?” She murmurs, and I tuck her wavy red hair behind her ears, “Not as long as I share a wall with my eight year old sister.”

“Oh, not ideal. Where can we go?”

“I think all of our options are outside.”

“Fuck sake, and it’s freezing. Why aren’t you ever around in the summer?”

“Sorry, but look, I’m going to start learning to drive soon. Once I have a car I’ll have a decent place to take you.”

She laughs, “A car?”

“Yeah,” I clutch our hands together and hold them to my heart. It’s thumping now that I am coming up, “Alison, when I get a car, I’ll ride you in the passenger seat any day of the week.”

“Jesus Christ,” she groans, and buries her face in my neck, “That’s the most romantic thing a guy has said to me in ages. How depressing is that?”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2009 #tbh I know she's not Evie #but I love Alison #she's great #tw: alcohol #tw: drugs #tw: sex mention #tw: religion #tw: blasphemy

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sm-baby · 1 year

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I can finally take a break after nonstop school work TwT I draw her

#tw: religious trauma #tw: religion #The Pastor #the headspace #art

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starlight-tav · 4 months

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Shadowheart and Religious Trauma

Warnings: MAJOR spoilers for Shadowheart's companion quest, religious abuse/trauma, anxiety, grief

Note: I'll probably revisit this one day when it's not so fresh in my mind and hopefully I'll make more sense then. For now, these are my thoughts, jumbled and raw

One of the most heartbreaking things for me while playing BG3 was Shadowheart's story and how analogous it is to religious deconstruction.

I was raised in a Christian cult – I won't go in depth about the abuses I suffered within, but I will say that the pain is always with me, much like the curse of Shar that lingers within Shadowheart until you make your final decisions in the House of Grief.

Shadowheart travels an arduous path from Shar's embrace to freedom; she's zealous when you first meet her, having been stripped of her entire identity. Shar and her followers have not only taken her name, her memories, and caused her immeasurable mental and physical harm; they have also taken her family, warped her only memory of her father into a source of paralyzing fear.

If you establish a bond with Shadowheart, you see her start to question the curse bestowed on her. She begins to doubt the "lesson" her goddess must be teaching her. And then you meet the Nightsong, the ultimate test of her faith.

If Shadowheart spares Dame Aylin's life, she turns her back on her goddess and the only community she's ever known up until the tadpole brought you together. She doesn't have to make this decision alone. She has you and your other companions standing with her. She spares the Nightsong and rejects the cruel deity she's spent her life serving.

Shadowheart appears more hopeful, more determined than ever. With your help, she's going to find her parents and save them from the goddess.

You fight side by side through the dark disciples and the Mother Superior in the House of Grief. You get the key to the dungeon. You find her parents. There's an impossibly brief moment where you think we did it. And then Shar shows herself.

She tells Shadowheart to make the choice between her own freedom and her parents' lives. This decision devastated me. I had to close the game. I had to take a breath and calm down. Because I had to make that decision too.

I had to decide between my own life and a relationship with the people who raised me. I could come out and reject everything I'd been taught, severing the bonds between myself and the people who perpetuated my pain; or I could carry on in service until it killed me.

When Shadowheart was presented the options, there was no question in my mind as to what I was going to choose. But I didn't know if that was because it was what was best for me or for her.

This is where Shadowheart's story diverts the most from my own. Her parents wanted her to be free. Their faith in Selûne would transform them, bring them peace, and keep them close to her. Knowing this, I urged Shadowheart to take their lives, putting them at rest. She did.

Shadowheart is free from the Lady of Loss now. But she grieves. She'll never hear her parents' laughs. She'll never feel their comforting touches or receive their careful wisdom. That pain is real, and it'll never disappear. But the hope is that she won't be alone. She has your merry band of weirdos after all.

That's what has saved me too. My friends, the queer and neurodivergent communities, support from my therapist. It'll always hurt, but with their help I'll survive it.

Larian is such an amazing team. The care they've put into telling stories of survival, grief, love, healing, and tough decisions is so amazing. I'm grateful for their hard work and creativity. The moments of hurt and the moments of catharsis will stay with me for a long, long time.

#shadowheart #jenevelle hallowleaf #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #shadowheart spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #tw: religious trauma #tw: religion #tw: religious abuse #religious trauma #religious abuse #tw: grief

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