#deadname mention
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I was born.
I was born, and as I learned to speak,
I learned I was a "girl".
I enjoyed being a girl.
The dresses were freeing
The dolls made me smile.
I got older.
I got cautious.
Learned that being a girl comes with danger.
Learned that people could be mean.
And friends could be cruel.
Learned I was queer.
Learned that maybe being a "girl"
Wasn't for me.
I moved on.
I moved schools.
Shit got worse.
I lost who I thought i was.
Met a guy who ruined me.
I couldn't be the same.
I cut my hair.
I changed my name.
I left Sabrina behind.
And there they were, Oz.
I learned about Oz.
I learned that Oz was similar to her.
Oz liked the dresses and the dolls.
Oz liked being a "girl"
Just like her,
But didn't like being HER.
Oz couldn't stand her.
Not because she was a woman.
Not because she was Sabrina.
Not because she was bullied and teased.
But because they belonged to THAT.
To HIM.
I'm not a man.
I'm not a woman.
I'm not a victim,
Nor a bystander.
I am not His Property.
I am not his game.
I am not the girl i once was.
Nor the girl he wanted.
I am strong.
I am free.
I like dresses.
I like dolls.
I like mud and trees and grass and dirt and apples and water and rocks and music and the way graphite drags along a page.
I am wholly, truly,
Undeniably Oz.
#long post#tw abuse mention#deadname mention#Needed to get this out#Take back my own thoughts#healing journey#This started as a gender post but became much more I think#enjoy ig
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generally i dislike deadname headcanons*... but its also a little funny to headcanon transfem april's deadname to be august
(* such as headcanoning a cis male character to be transmasc, and then giving them a female deadname, not headcanoning a cis characters canon name to be their deadname )
#realised she was trans and went damn i gotta pick another month#roman rambles#deadname mention#jic#trans headcanon#april o'neil#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#intended to be 2012 but interpret as any version
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so someone stole my package off of my front porch a while back and now theres someone walking around san antonio with a fucking LONGSWORD that has my full name, username, and deadname.
#twitch streamer#streamer#tw deadnaming#deadname mention#deadname tw#yes this did in fact actually happen#my girlfriend gifted me a sword#and someone stole it off my front porch while i was at school
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I wish I could transition fully. More. I wish I could take the hormones I need to feel masculine. I wish I could get top surgery. I wish I could find the motivation to get off my ass and lose weight and get some muscle. I wish I was more generally masculine. I wish my family called me by my name. I wish they used he/him or they/them with me. I wish I had an accepting and not transphobic family. I wish I didn't live in fear of them finding out, and kicking me out of the house, disowning me, abusing me. I wish I could be me. I wish I could be Parker Knox and not M******.
#vent#vent post#trans vent#dysphoria#dysphoria triggers#trans masc dysphoria#deadname#deadname mention#abuse mention#abusive family mention#abusive family#transphobia#transphobia mention
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Quiet now children
#mental health#mental illness#inner child healing#furry#healing#lol#suicide mention#suicidal ideation cw#violence mention#dove#swollen#deadname#lapine
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@acybernetickiwi
i found your post on pinterest!
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Outrageous and Terrifying
Have you ever had one of those days where the universe just suddenly takes a massive dump on someone you care deeply for who has been struggling through an awful situation?
That was yesterday for us.
Romana is a twenty-one year old computer science student, coming up on two years into her degree. She escaped her abusive, toxic, controlling parents in November 2021 and has been living peacefully, renting on her own for a year now.
Yesterday afternoon, her parents showed up on her doorstep with social workers and a court order for guardianship. They ordered her into their car, and acted like the fact that they hadn't called the cops yet was them being nice. They guilt-tripped her about how much they missed her for the entire ride back to their house, and then the next morning had to be talked down from taking her phone and computer away twice.
That's what guardianship means, y'all, that she's not permitted to make property decisions. She is not permitted to live where she chooses. She is not permitted to talk to who she wishes. If she attempts to make her own decisions, she risks being held in contempt of court.
They did not serve her the required notice, nor did they serve her lawyer notice. Romana and her lawyer were not contacted by mail; were not contacted by email; and were not contacted over the phone, despite all these methods of contact having been given to her parents and their lawyers.
There was no attendable court session, where evidence could presented or witnesses could take the stand. She has not been permitted her right to look a judge in the eye and say "See for yourself. Ask me what you wish. Do I seem like I'm my own person to you?"
This happened because the justice who signed the judgment did so without reading any of it. Justice Smith did not read the application, the responses from Romana's lawyer, the capacity assessment report, or even the text of the draft judgment that was signed. How in the inkstained void does that happen?
Romana is eloquent, intelligent, and a great friend. She's been stripped of nearly every right at a moment's notice due to the selfishness of her parents. Honestly, I don't really feel comfortable referring to them as her parents, as though she were some upstart teenager depending on them for everything.
In the province of Ontario, there are two adults who want to keep a de facto prisoner and discreetly got the state to rubber stamp it. That prisoner is my friend, someone I care about deeply.
Try to imagine how that feels. Please, put yourself in Romana's shoes, trapped in that absurdist nightmare. Please try to imagine a fraction of the frustration dawning on horror, the confusion dawning on fury.
Ontario has given Romana no help to pay legal fees. There's no program that will help cover it, no charity that will pitch in. I should know. I looked. I know that sounds like an insane state of affairs, but we spent weeks looking and found nothing. She's got only the resources of a college student, barely scraping by with the help of friends, her sister, and GoFundMe.
Romana is just a person. And like any person, she just wants to live a life of basic freedom and dignity.
#abuse#legal fights#legal issues#guardianship#parents#why do parents think forced contact will get them a relationship with their kids?#why are some parents so terrible?#fundraiser#trans issues#Romana's deadname is mentioned in the fundraiser link#anyone who deadnames Romana will be blocked
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scandinavians in hoyoverse. gross
ugh
sampo, he/him, himeko, she/her, and welt, he/him.
below has animal harm mentions! its for a silly joke but. [also this is why it has diluc/kaeya tags]
diluc, he/him, and kaeya, he/him.
#digital art#ms paint#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#kaeya#kaeya alberich#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#honkai star rail#honkai star rail fanart#sampo#sampo koski#welt#welt yang#himeko#animal harm mention#did you know welts deadname is joachim btw. i fucking hate this fact. his name is fucking joachim. i know a joachim. mihoyo fucking sto /lh#diluc and kaeyas last names annoy me still btw. the german boy gets the scandinavian last name and the scandinavian boy gets the german one#none of these people are cis btw that grandpa forgot his gender in 19 aught 7#sampo replaced his gender with CHA CHA CHA#and diluc/kaeya? they had a contest for who could gaslight their household more on having been boys the entire time. afab siblings are insa#nooo little german boye dont let ze littel danish boy tell you about his farmer ways he learned form his father#i dont think kaeyas family has been in scaninavia for 7 generations. but all of them act like they live in køben fandenme focking havn#or at least. kaeyas dad does. and he and his very sumeru mom just sit there and nod like ok grandpa go take your meds again#also if your not scandinavian. the jokes are:#finnish people do not have cold receptors in their skin. they removed 15 generations ago#finnish people drink a LOOOOT of coffee. scandinavians generally do#but finnish people do it the most#and uhhh scandinavian kids get taught really fucked up things LMAO
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JANUARY, 1995
It’s a shooting day and Dean’s ears are ringing with the pop of the .22 that’s growing heavy in his hands. At Bobby’s house he always has to wear earmuffs when he shoots; usually Dean complains because they look stupid, but right now his ears are so frozen he’s wishing he had a pair of his own.
He points the muzzle at the ground and shakes his head out, cupping a stiff hand to his cheek. There’s exactly zero blood flow happening in his face, and the cold makes each shot ring out so loudly he has to try not to flinch. And his socks are wet. Pretty miserable shit.
John’s on his way back from replacing the target, face grim.
“How’d I do?” Dean calls. Too loud, judging from the way his dad scowls.
“You’re blowing through ammo and you only got six on the page.”
Dean slumps. “Crap.”
“Yeah, it is. You need to get your shit together, I can tell your heart isn’t in this. You reload yet?”
Dean sniffles, even though he can’t feel his nose, either. “No.”
“No?”
“No, sir.”
“So get going. Show me you can do better.”
Dean’s fingers feel like ten useless icicles. He slides the chamber open and clink-clink-clinks ten bullets inside, then carefully closes the action. The Beretta is a testy bitch that jams constantly. Dad only trusts it for training and seems likely to chuck it soon.
He barely seems affected by the chill. Mostly he looks bored. “Go on and take a few steps forward. Ladies’ tee until you get ‘em all on the page, and then we’ll think about moving you back again.”
Dean’s skin crawls with embarrassment and he wants to protest—he could do better if it were warmer and if he weren’t so tired already—but obediently he moves closer to the target.
“Alright.”
He raises the gun and clicks the safety off. He’s probably more cautious with it than John cares, but he’d rather be safe than sorry.
The target is a sheet of paper with orange circles pinned to a stump surrounded by casings. He lines the center up in his sight and then aims a little lower to compensate because the Beretta shoots high. God, if Dean could get his hands on that ivory-grip Colt, he’d die happy.
He empties her out, gets about nine bullets on the page. Four of them land tight in the center. The stray shot is only because he overcorrected his aim at first.
He turns back to his dad with a grin on his face, feeling pretty proud. There’s a pleasant buzz of warm feeling in his nose and eartips along with the ringing in his ears as he traipses back to the ammo box. “Not so crappy, huh?”
John shakes his head. “Dunno where you learned to be such a brag.”
“What am I supposed to be, humble? Pass.” He squats by the box, breathing on his numb hands before delicately picking up the bullets. “Hard pass.”
“Being humble is what keeps you alive. Nine out of ten only seems good on a target that doesn’t move. It isn’t your best—or it shouldn’t be.” John’s silence is as unforgiving as his voice. Dean watches his words sink through the winter air like smoke.“We stay here until you can actually hit what you’re aiming at.”
Through no fault of his own, Dean’s mouth is suddenly letting loose the complaint he’s been trying to hold in. “Come on, give me a break, Dad. It’s freezing, and I’m tired, and I’m about to have frostbite on my carpal tunnel. I feel like I can barely pull the damn trigger!”
His father’s boots crush against the frozen ground louder than a gun. He looks up quickly, stomach dropping. Dad and his rifle make a stark silhouette against the cold white sky above.
“You don’t ever speak to me like that again. You sound like your brother, like some insolent child, not a man I’d trust with my weapon. I know I taught you better than this. When lives depend on you, are you still gonna be making excuses? Are you gonna be whining about the weather when it’s your bad aim that gets somebody killed? Is it gonna be the trigger’s fault when you get yourself killed?”
“No, sir,” Dean replies, heart beating in his throat.
“You’re laughing, you’re fucking around, I can see you’re not taking this seriously. You still don’t understand the stakes. Think about Sam—you know whose fault it’ll be if you can’t take care of him or the lives you say you want to protect?”
“My fault, sir. Dad, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry. Don’t be begging for respect when you haven’t earned it. The only reason we’re still out here is you. You being cold and tired right now is on you. This is all in your control. Your life is in your own hands, nobody else’s. Do you understand that?”
His eyes are so heavy.
Dean nods and looks down, unable to speak. He is so stupid.
The dry air is hurting his head; he won’t be surprised if they get back to the cabin and find Sam with a bloody nose. Kid’s got a fragile sinus. The sooner Dean makes this, the sooner they can get back. He loads fast.
“Sam told me that you went hunting,” John says, tone slipping back to conversational.
“Yeah,” Dean says, grateful as he slides the clip home. “Bobby showed us how to do animal calls.”
“Being able to hunt and eat what you’ve killed is important. For when you have to keep yourself fed, but for building character, too. A hunter should be able to hunt.”
“And fish,” Dean adds. “Hey, we should go again soon.”
John nods, the barest hint of warmth. “My point is, everything you need to survive should be in your power. Your gun is your second most important tool after grit. Even when you won’t know if you will survive, you have to know that you can survive.”
Dean nods, and after a few seconds of silence, he supplies, “Bobby makes good venison chili.” He doesn’t mention that Bobby specifically said John was not invited to any of his suppers.
“You get one?” John asks. “A deer?”
Dean stands slowly, thumbing the safety. He doesn’t click it off, yet, and he keeps it pointed at the ground. Like Bobby keeps cussing him out about. “Not yet.”
“Why not?”
Dean’s mouth is sour, the pit in his stomach is growing again, and somehow he’s sweating. John sounds like he knows the answer why.
Dean clicks the safety off and Dad doesn’t even look twice, just waits. Dean walks back to his spot and gets into position. Behind him, John sighs. He sounds so tired.
“If you can’t even kill a deer, how do you think you’re gonna be able to shoot things that look human?”
Dean aims at the target and tries to breathe. The freeze is in his lungs, now, January’s teeth seizing his insides so every inhale is sharp. The target wavers in his sight as he tries to keep his hands still. It’s just an orange circle. Just a tree stump. Just practice, so he’s fine.
He exhales slowly, finger curling around the trigger. He’s fine and he’s got this.
“I mean, what am I supposed to think, Deanna,” John says lowly, voice pinched with disappointment, “you tell me you want me to treat you like a man, but you can’t even—”
Dean fires, ten rounds in steady, thundering succession until the ringing in his ears drowns out the sound of the chamber clicking empty.
The target is in tatters. He thinks they all landed.
His chest is still tight, and raw, and like maybe something has shaken loose or broken free. With shaking hands, he zips up his jacket, and then he turns and walks to his father’s side.
“It’s Dean,” he says thinly. He clears his throat and adds, “Sir.”
John’s looking at him and Dean can’t make out what’s going on behind his eyes. After a moment he nods, and then jerks his head toward their gear. “Pack up.”
As Dean’s cleaning up—collecting fallen casings and discarded targets, and making sure every gun is unloaded and every safety is on because Sam always pokes around even when they tell him not to—John claps him on the shoulder. His voice is soft again.
“I’m just worried about you, I need you to know that. I want you to be able to take care of yourself and Sammy when I’m not around. This world is mean, and cold, and it’ll tear you apart. I can be hard on you kids…I push you too hard, I know it, and it still won’t be enough to keep you safe. And that kills me.”
John cups the back of his head. Dean meets his eyes and sees a world in there that he can’t begin to fathom. “You did good today, Dean, really good. I don’t want you to think I have any doubts—about how strong you are, and how brave. And I trust I can depend on you, son.”
Somewhere inside Dean, a knot loosens, like he’s finally been allowed to breathe a little. It’s good.
#repost from my old blog#trans dean winchester#transphobia#misgendering#deadnaming#parental abuse#verbal abuse#forced masculinzation emotional stunting meow meow meow#bound for the floor by local h released 1996 changing nothing in deans life but becoming a soundtrack#dean: i earned respect! john: if i push him hard enough he will kill so good :3#ficlet#supernatural#trans dean#cw misgendering#tw misgendering#deadname#tw gun mention#tw gun use#mine
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187.24 / 390 (08/12/22)
[full original post]
im a trans person trying to get all her pieces of identification updated so applying to / working jobs + going to school is easier. pls send accommodating workplace energy to me <3🏳️⚧️♿️ tysm for rbing
ⓘ this is turning into an urgent situation so if this gets to $250 i’ll take the hit for the rest because i am out of options at this point.
ko/fi other options [carrd]
#share your dollar#trans crowdfund#maybe even less than $250 im literally looking D-7 right in the eye#bc i really need a job but I literally can’t emotionally go through the process without having my name match id again#i quite literally cannot go through life without my name atp#to keep my posts from being long I don’t mention it but like this is very important to my health rn bc I need a healthcard just like so many#things are on hold because I don’t have a name and I refuse spend money on passports and other expired id just to pay for it all over again#that would just put in a position to need to crowdfunded again but with a biggest goal yk#new post because despite the numbers on the og the last donation was in July#and it was a singular donation for that whole month#hehe I’ve been crying about this today :0((( like my family calling me a freeloader and going on about they were able support themselves at#18 even though our situations are so fundamentally different like you literally didn’t have to deal with the cost to live in your own body#in terms of my like they didn’t have to pay for disability aid or pay to not be deadnamed etc like
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Trans joy is smiling a little brighter every Purim, because underneath all the baggage of how your deadname was used, you still like that you were originally named after Esther :)
Trans joy is nodding towards your deadname and blowing it a kiss, like something that was never going to fit you but wasn’t bad in itself
🤍!
#trans joy#holidays#Religion and spirituality#Purim#Judaism#deadnames#trans#transgender#transphobia mention
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Im a big fan of roxy’s gender being different in each timeline. Meat!roxy being a transman is super cool, it makes total sense he would have a different journey regardless his gender than candy!roxy did. What really annoys me is how quick people are to accept that Vriska is a transgirl bcz of pesterquest, and that June is canon via word of god despite us not yet seeing candy!john develop in that direction on the page, but be so adamantly against meat!roxy’s transmascness. It feels hypocritical , if that makes sense?
.
#roxy lalonde#june egbert#vriska serket#homestuck#homestuck confession#yeah#I used to be on a server where it was against the rules to misgender or deadname june#while simultaneously also against the rules to acknowledge transmasc roxy or in any way imply roxy was afab#except the latter was not actually in the rules but it was enforced#and I know bc I got in big trouble for mentioning transmasc roxy helped me figure things out about my gender :/#mod commentary
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Little bittergiggle meme bc I love him and toadster so much
Also I found out from the wiki that bittergiggle was originally called something else and it sounded kinda feminine to me so my first thought was "canonical deadname????" And I found it so funny that that was my first thought and not "oh cool beta name for bittergiggle" that I made this
#bittergiggle#banban fanart#garten of banban redesign#garten of banban#bittergiggle gobb#gobb#transjester#tw mentions of deadnames
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whenever i go to theatre openings with my dad at the afterparties and stuff my dad always introduces me as his son and im wearing a dress and makeup and stuff and people are always like telling me they knew me as a toddler but i can see the wheels in their brain turning to see if they remember if i was a girl or boy back then. its kinda silly and i love it tbh
#i was very androgynous as a child and these are like. aqquaintances so they dont probably remember my deadname or anything#the local community is like.. vaugely aware my dad has two trans sons but he doesn’t mention it unless he’s asked so
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Donna Noble is out here threatening homicidal maniac aliens because they were disrespectful to her daughter, meanwhile my mom won't even change my contact in her phone to my proper name.
#personal#i know there are trans people with far worse home and family situations and im not trying to negate that but like.#its the little things like that that i see and its just kind of a punch in the face reminder that the only support i get from her in regards#to me being nonbinary is apathetic.like if she's telling a story about me before i came out she wont use the right pronoun/name in the story#or when shes talking about how she was talking about me at work and uses my birthname/pronouns (i okayed this we live in a red county) she#wont change the name/pronouns. or how she gets weird any time i mention top surgery or how instead of calling someone out for deadnaming#or misgendering me she just also starts doing it or how she still introduces herself to people as “[deadname]'s mom or#its just annoying#anyways im ranting in the tags now. sorry.#donna noble#rose noble#unsupportive mother#casual transphobia#doctor who
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Why you should read Frances Hardinge's books:
Most of them have little to no romance (I hate amatonormativity)
She is really good with words? Like idk how to explain it but the way she uses them is... idk how to describe it
A lot of her protagonists can be seen as autistic or having ADHD if you autism hard enough /hj
The book covers are always absolutely gorgeous
Some of my story Under a Golden Moon's worldbuilding originated because of Deeplight (I will not elaborate for reasons of Spoilers)
Her social media is full of things like this:
which is just. Relatable.
I occasionally make references to her books. I don't think I've made any here but there's a first time for everything :)
Her worldbuilding is so cool like seriously
The first book of hers I read was A Face Like Glass when I was about eight or so (I think?) I got it for Christmas last year, and it's somehow better than I remember?
She's definitely influenced my writing style a lot because her writing is just ridiculously good???
I think I've read most of her books, if not all
#frances hardinge#deeplight#a face like glass#<- if I tag the post with the books I mentioned more people will see it right? /hj#Apparently she has a blog on here where she mainly just lurks and doesn't post anything and I'm really hoping she sees this#because yes I could send her an email but I'd have to set up a new one because I don't want it attached to my deadname#and that's just effort tbh
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