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#verbal abuse
neuroticboyfriend · 10 months
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Abuse has a goal behind it, and a lot of the time, it's about changing the victims behavior. If someone screams at you for not doing X activity, eventually you learn to do X activity. If someone hits you when you defy them, eventually you learn not to defy them. If someone abuses you frequently enough, and you begin to break down to their will... It is possible to reach a point where it may seem like you're not being abused anymore.
They don't yell anymore because you stay quiet and do what you're told. They don't threaten you anymore because you don't voice even the slightest disagreement or need. What used to be screaming fighting arguments have become lectures at your expense. They may even praise you for doing what they want you to. And all those mundane moments - breakfast, the rare kind act - stand out more. Your perception of the relationship skews even more. It's all normal now.
And it's still abuse. It's just reached its end goal - wearing you down so badly that they don't need to overtly abuse you anymore to get what they want. All they need to do is make a joke, or complain to guilt you, or tell you want to do/not to do, etc. etc. The fact that's all it takes now doesn't make what's happening to you less severe - if anything, it means you're in much, much more danger than you could realize.
It's abuse. It's horrific. It's just not obvious anymore... and that's terrifying. You deserve so, so much better. You deserve to truly be safe - not to have your wellbeing held behind fearful compliance. That's not safety. That's not love. That's abuse. It being psychological doesn't make it less dangerous.
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furiousgoldfish · 1 year
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Abusive parents will straight up talk in front of their kids like the kids were a bad investment. They'll say shit to the kid like 'after all you cost me' like they're a stock in some company and the value isn't to their expectations. Like they're losing out on a bet they made 10 years ago.
They say that to kid's faces. Shamelessly. Without considering that maybe they're revealing themselves to be a monster in this scenario.
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one-time-i-dreamt · 5 months
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MatPat was my neighbor. I was laying out bottles in the apartment hallway, for some reason. This annoyed him so much that he kept hurling abuse about my favorite games at me over Discord until I had to threaten to dox him to get him to stop.
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4spooniesupport · 7 months
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oasisr · 5 months
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When men neg you by putting down your talents, run. Things will not get better.
Even if you aren't good at something and are just a beginner, he should not be mocking you or bullying you for that.
I'm not a great singer or painter, but I enjoy singing and painting sometimes. My ex would mock me and tell me that he wanted to marry someone who could actually sing.
I gave him another chance after he hurt my feelings. He was good for a couple of weeks, and then went right back to mocking me and putting me down.
Just run. You are beautiful even if you aren't good at everything you try. You don't need someone to put you down and try to harm your self-worth.
You are worthy of someone who will treat you like you are a special and beautiful woman. Because you are.
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secretlykoishi · 10 months
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i was a child
everything i was, was something you hated
but you always said you loved me
i wish you’d said you hated me
because that would be easier
than believing you cared
everything you did to me still defines me
all of the pain and the misery
you were the only one i could have trusted
and you used that against me
i was a child
i didn’t deserve that
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fanficfanattic · 4 months
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Just watched the Wembley confrontation approximately 30 times so I could write down the exact dialogue. And to get more of the body language and gestures down. The scene lasts for precisely two minutes. (37:07-39:07)
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James pokes his head into the room asking, “Are you decent?” Laughs as he crosses the doorway.
James walks past the security guard to enter the room, puts his thumb to his nose, before saying to the guard, “I told ya” and then to himself, “prick.” Laughs.
James is only a bit into the room before he says to the room, “Oh, gentlemen, gentlemen.” He throws his arms wide and mockingly groans before laughing again.
James is now fully into the center of the room and turns a bit to try and address all of the team. Says “Hey, it’s a tough one lads. It’s a tough one, but no shame to it.”
“Cause, you know, we only ever” pretends to tap his temple like he’s trying to remember something: “beat,” does a few feet bounces and fake little punches, “uh, everybody we play.” Laughs again.
James turns to Lasso who does the quickest fake Midwestern polite smile while Roy stands next to him stiff and angry. Will is looking over his shoulder, between the two coaches, stocking or taking out bottles from a mini fridge maybe?
“So you pups had no chance,” while once again spreading his arms. He finally looks right at Jamie and lets out a fake gasp before saying “Oh.” As though he is disappointed to see Jamie is actually standing there.
He points double finger guns at him while adding, “And there he is, my son.”
Says “My own flesh and blood” with mock grief in his voice. He stares at Jamie from half a room away, and bounces on his feet again.
“Poor Jamie, my son.”
He rocks his hips loose even as he brings his pointer finger to his nose. Does an exaggerated sniff. Then he goes back to addressing the room at large. Faces one way as he starts to talk.
“Now,” and he gestures with his right hand, then turns to take in the other side, “maybe I’m thinking his heart’s still in Manchester” and he gestures with both hands slightly towards his own chest “and that’s why he missed that sitter in the first half.” He points a finger into the air like he’s having a eureka moment.
Chuckles. Does another of his fake sympathetic groans.
“Oh ho ho.” And then lets out a little “Whew!”
Then starts tiny jogging towards Jamie while sing songing “You absolutely bottled* it.” He stops to throw his head back, arms wide, and then straightens up to slow walk closer. He laughs while saying, “You bottled it!”
Then he’s only a few steps away from Jamie and starts pantomiming some boxing moves. Ducks just a bit, has his hands in fists doing small jabs. “What were you thinking?”
Then he is right at Jamie and continues to do the small jabs, not hard, but landing like small pokes right against Jamie’s stomach. Jamie ever so slightly steps back. James pauses for half a second and then does an extra jab pushing Jamie another half step back.
James lets out a teasing “Ah ah ah.” Then “I’m only kidding, hey.” Before laughing again with a bit of a cough in the middle.
Ted does not look impressed and Roy has titled his head back a bit to squint at the man. Will is focusing on the mini fridge until James starts talking again. This time more quietly and just to Jamie.
“Hey, look, uhh…do us a favor…” and he comes back on screen as he moves his hand from his face, while sniffing, but like he’d just gestured Jamie closer or perhaps had gestured to his ear to indicate Jamie should listen to him. He continues “and get Denbo and Bug past security.”
James moves his right arm to indicate the stadium on the other side of the wall. “They wanna go on the pitch-” then he mimes raising a camera and clicking it. Jamie’s mouth turns down into a frown while his head gives the smallest shake. “-take a few snaps and all that, yeah?” Before licking his lips, letting out another sniff, and bouncing on his feet 2-3 times.
Jamie finally says something, which is to answer his dad with “I’d rather ‘em not.” He stares a hair over his father’s shoulder, not making eye contact with anyone.
James looks a bit to the side, not in embarrassment nor seemingly worried what people were thinking about his son turning his request down. More like he didn’t actually need to look at Jamie anymore.
“Yeah, they only want to look around.” And he looks back to Jamie again but it’s because he’s miming a guy jab with his left hand while saying “It’ll only take a second.” Then mimes punching him right in the jaw with a weird sound effect noise. “Doosh(?).”
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James mouth drops open into a wide grin and chuckle.
Jamie repeats himself word for word, “I’d rather ‘em not.” But he is slightly louder this time and looks right at his father. He nods his head ever so slightly.
Offscreen James responds with, “What?” Then focuses on his face returning to mockery.
“What, you’re not gonna all go moody little bitch” while looking Jamie up and down, continuing, “just cause you got your arse served to you on a plate, are ya?”
Jamie is quieter again when he responds with “Don’t speak to me like that.” Jamie is back to not meeting his dad’s eye even as James starts bouncing on the balls of his feet again.
Then he pushes a little closer in to Jamie, face seemingly open to hearing what Jamie has to say, before going “ahuh?”
Jamie repeats himself word for word for the second time. “Don’t speak to me like that.”
James repeats his “Huh?” while pressing closer again, head tilted as though to hear him better. Jamie tries to repeat himself for a third time but his dad interrupts with his own third “huh?”
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When Jamie finishes, his dad says “Huh?” a fourth time and then pulls back a minuscule amount to look Jamie in the eye.
James says to him “Okay, well,” and James lifts his right hand to flick up in the air. “-let’s see if you can hear this, hmm?”
Beard is shown in the background seething. James is still right in Jamie’s face, where he sniffs again, before leaning a bit closer as though to whisper.
“You know that ‘ickle tv show’ you made?” And makes broad gestured quotation marks even. “You just made it easier for Manchester City” He flicks the first finger of his left hand up like he’s about to count off things but instead uses it to point at Jamie while adding “to kick you to the curb!”
Then he leans back with a grin to continue mocking Jamie. He even adds a tongue waggle of his own.
“And look where you are now.” He laughs in his face. “Twaddling about with a bunch of…”
He spreads his arms wide and spins 180° to address the whole room. “…amateurs! No offense, no offense.”
No one responds to him, so he gives more of a belly laugh, and scratches the side of his nose with his right forefinger. Then turns around, leading with that finger pointing at Jamie. Who is not only not looking his father in the eye, he’s truly looking downwards for the first time.
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Then he flattens his mouth and starts to turn away with his dad going “Huh?”
James grabs Jamie’s left bicep with his own left hand, to swing him back to face him yelling “Don’t turn your back on me” then pushing Jamie while finishing with “you pussy.”
Jamie pushes off from the foot he’d stepped back from his dad with to throw his punch.
James hits the floor, palms stopping his fall, with a groan. He pushes half up onto his hip and puts the back of his hand to his face.
Jamie’s face is in a pained grimace.
He pants out “Jesus god” while glaring venomously up at his son. Which must be when he notices that Jamie is wild eyed and terrified. The grimace is gone and instead he looks stunned.
James laughs before pushing himself up to standing, Jamie’s mouth parts while his dad is saying “Oh, yeah. Okay.”
Once standing, James says “You can have that one for free.” And gets one bounce in while readying his own fist.
Which is when Beard grabs him and says “Time to go.”
While being dragged towards the door, James is still trying to fight Jamie. “You wanna go, big time. Hey? Let’s have it, Jamie!”
Beard almost has him to the door when James screams “Don’t you forget where you came from!” Then Beard gives his “watch the door” warning while pushing James’ head against the door.
Edit 2: @kaph123 asked if James said “balled it” (what cc says and I originally posted despite some questions) or “bottled it” (a more common expression). I did a relisten and it sounded like balled BUT also like the accent might be in play. @itsjustpoopeh listened with better headphones and revealed there was a bit of a stutter which indicates its most likely Mancunian consonant dropping and should be bottled. I changed it above!
Edited to add the comfort we all needed at the reminder of our tender human hearts from @thetarttfuldickhead 🤣
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a-sip-of-milo · 9 days
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Guess what. You can recognise that your parents were trying their best and still acknowledge that they messed up. Stop telling people who open up about their childhood trauma that they're ungrateful because they haven't forgotten about the fact that the people who raised them hurt them.
DNI if you believe in cluster-B abuse.
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family-trauma · 8 months
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I think these words can only said by those who are empathic and can put themselves in other people's shoes. Among all those who I am close with, I believe there is only one person who had validated how I felt about being emotionally abused.
Find the right person who understands you and your situation. As it is the situation itself is hard to deal with, the last thing you need is to deal with people around you who don't understand your pain.
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victoriadallonfan · 8 months
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but wanting to leave a relationship because of your partner yelling/shouting/screaming at you during arguments, that is a perfectly fine thing to do (re: leave the relationship)
You don’t need them to be physically abusive. Even if you think they aren’t being verbally abusive to you, you being uncomfortable with how they talk to you is perfectly adequate for walking out the door (especially if you have expressed that concern to them and they have not or refused to understand).
Coming from someone who grew up in households filled with screaming, shouting, and yelling, trust me when I say it will make your life so much better without it
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zeldasnotes · 11 months
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4 common manipulation tactics to be aware of🪞
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More non-astro related posts → make people respect you & friendship advice
”Im horrible, but i would never do it to you” - The person who loves being mean to people but not to you ofc, because you are special. They will do it to you, trust me. They are saying the same thing to those other people too when they tell them about the mean stuff they are doing to YOU. A woman who talks shit about her best girlfriends ugly nailpolish and weight is probably talking about how bad you are in bed to that same friend of hers.
”What do you think about my friend Josh?” - They know their friend Josh is ugly as hell, they want to see what a people pleaser you are. Will you start talking about how ugly and disgusting Josh is to make his ego happy? Are you a good dog who say what owner wants to hear? Or will you just give him a short ”nah didnt notice Josh”. How far are you willing to go to make him happy? He will know based on your answer.
”You are just as horrible as me hehe” - No you are not. They know you are not as horrible as them, but making you believe you are as smart as them makes you not see that you are being manipulated because you think you are special to them. This will also make you accept them doing mean stuff to others because you think you are a team with them.
”Your friend is ugly” - Oh how many people Ive met who fell for this one, especially women bc we hate eachother and we love hearing how ugly other women are. He makes you believe all your friends are ugly and you are the only woman he considers attractive. This means that he noticed how competetive you are with other women and he is playing on it. Can also mean hes sleeping with the one he constantly talks about. If your boyfriend/girlfriend CONSTANTLY talks shit about another person, something is not right. Bc trust me your partner would never be that obsessive over someone they are not attracted to.
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neuroticboyfriend · 1 year
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abusiveness and predation is not unique to men. abusive women (and the abuse of men for that matter) are much, much more common than you think. if your support for abuse survivors only extends to women or people who were abused by men, you don't actually support survivors.
so to all the survivors who aren't women, and the survivors whose abusers weren't men: i believe you, and i see you. you deserve to be safe and supported. you are not alone. your pain and suffering matters just as much as others' does. what happened to you is just as awful, and i'm wishing you so much healing and happiness.
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Can I request an Aaron Hotchner x autistic!daughter young adult ideally but any age. Or even she’s on the team and he’s a father figure to her because her own is so ableist. My dad is so ableist and I have so much autistic trauma from him even though my autism is from him too. He thinks that gives him even more rights to say whatever he wants to me and bully me even more. I just need to know what it feels like to have a good dad who cares about my autism. Who cares about me ❤️❤️
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Aaron Hotchner x Autistic! Young adult reader
Of course I can, I'm sorry you have to deal with that, my parents have trouble understanding my Autism as well but they are getting better. I will write this for you!
Summary: Y/Ns ableist Dad comes to the BAU and starts being an Ableist arsehole to his daughter, her father figure (Hotch) steps in and saves her.
Third Person pov...
It had been 3 years since Y/N L/N joined the BAU, she was 21 when she joined and instantly became the baby of the team and Hotch became her Dad, Y/N is autistic and has sensory issues.
Ever since she was little her father was ablest and would bully her and verbally abuse her saying how her being Autistic meant something was wrong with her and that she needed fixing, the man caused her to have so many meltdowns and sensory overloads that it made others concerned her teachers as school.
He was later arrested for child abuse and was sent to prison, Y/N was then left with her neighbours who were a nice loving family and always liked her but hated her dad and were glad she got away from him after suffering for years, her Mum was out of the picture.
The young girl had so much trauma from her childhood when she joined the BAU that Hotch became her father figure, their relationship helped mend Y/Ns trauma from her bio dad and she was able to live comfortably knowing he wasnt in her life anymore, she was treated with respect and was always told that her autism wasn't a bad thing.
From being with Penelope and Spencer (who are also Autistic) her relationship with her Autism was mended and she was able to be herself, while with her dad she could stim or doing anything 'autistic' but with her new found family she was free to stim and had all her accomedations, if anyone disrespected her or called her weird they would have to deal with an angry Hotch and the rest of the team.
It was a normal day for the team, they weren’t on a case and for once they all got to relax and fill out paperwork, well aside from Hotch and Spencer no one was doing any paperwork, Derek and Emily were sat giggling loudly like children as they kept throwing rolled up pieces of paper at their second youngest member.
The laughter increased as they kept hitting their mark, Spencers head, the genius was none the wiser as a pile of paper was forming around him at their many failed attempts. From the side JJ and Penelope sit and watch as Spencer doesn't realise, opposite the genius sat Y/N she was busy spinning in her chair with her headphones on and watching the scene play out.
She had the perfect poker face for when a paper ball hit Spencer's head, as the children in the bull pen play the two adults Hotch and Rossi where actually getting work done, , well Hotch was at least the Italian was drinking and watching the kids outside keeping an eye on them as someone responsible needed too.
As Y/N continued to spin around her in chair she didn’t hear the heavy footsteps off someone walking up behind her, the H/C woman was suddenly yanked off her chair and onto the hard floor by a man, in the process of being manhandled her headphones when flying off her head.
“What did I tall ya about doing that Girl!” exclaimed a voice that haunted her nightmares, gasping in terror Y/N stared frozen at her Father who was suppose to be in prison, the large man had a sickening grin on his face as he saw the terror in his daughter eyes.
“Yes its me!” he laughed that horrible laugh that had Y/N holding her hands overs her ears, the 21 year old was still frozen on the floor while the others were staring at the scene before them guns raised, by this time Hotch and Rossi had heard what happened and were out of their offices.
“bu-but your supposed to be in jail!” exclaimed Y/N finally finding her voice stuttering, the man looked down at her crumpled form, he then grabbed the front of her blouse pulling his daughter close. “they let me out for good behaviour, did ya miss me!” he semi whispered as Y/Ns face grew a sickening pale white, she scrambled to get away but the man wouldn’t let go instead he raised his hand and slapped her.
Y/N cried out in pain. “you really didn’t think I could be held for long did ya you retard! You really are still a fucked in the head as you were years ago” yelled the man, Hotch had had enough, he rain down thw ramp arms raised, gun in his hands. “Get your hands on hr now, you do realise you just assaulted a federal agent” growled out Hotch as the man teared his eyes away from the shivering form of his daughter.
He spat at Hotch. “your not her father I am, this waste of space in am Agent HA!”!” he laughed again and kicked Y/N hard in the ribs, Penelope gasps tears in her eyes as she witnesses her friend get beaten. Y/N holds in her cries of pain and raises her head from the floor glaring at the man.
“your not my dad you never have been!” she cried tears rolling down her face, the sadistic man smirked at the tears rolling down his daughters face, the sight reminding off when she was a kid and he would verbally abuse her, he had never hit her before now, it felt good.
Her words made him angry. “I am your father retard, though I hate to admit it you share my blood, your as stupid as I remember crying on the floor like the child you are to stupid to do what I say” he goes on on berating Y/N and saying how stupid she was once again verbally abusing her, as he went on his rant Y/N managed to stand up.
She was then pulled behind Hotch, his finger close to pulling the trigger. “you Bastard, you shut the fuck up now, you have crossed the line now get out of my building and away from my Daughter before I pump your body full of bullets!” yelled Hotch threw clenched teeth, he was so close to pulling the trigger instead he stormed up so he was chest to chest with the man and pulled back his fist.
When he lets go his right hand connected with the nose he was satisfied to feel it shatter, a smirk on his face before gesturing to a couple of agents. “now don’t ever come back or I will kill you” Hotches hand was burning but he felt satisfied when Y/Ns Dad freeze before he tsked and stormed out not before calling Y/N the R slur before he was detained by two agents ans forced into handcuffs.
Hotch crossed his arms before turning around to hug Y/N was had collapsed, the stress from her dad coming in draining her, she was then sat at her desk with Hotch hovering around her looking at her injuries, E/C eyes locked on his brown ones.
“Im your daughter” she whispers hoarsely, this made Hotch smile and run his hand through her hair. “of course, you are sweetie” he smiled softly kissing her forehead still smiling when she smiles back.
The end!!
Hoped you liked this oneshot so sorry for the wait! As usual sorry for the grammar and spelling mistake!
Requests are open!
Word count: 1366
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shadilady · 9 months
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One of my favorite things is realizing,"Wait, I'm an adult now.. I don't have to take this." And walking away from another adult. 😂
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Person A: “You! Why didn’t you stop (Person B) before they took things this far?! Do you have any idea how difficult this is going to be to clean up?!”
Person C: “Why the hell are you blaming me for? I wasn’t even here!”
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