Hint, it wasn’t my first name I forgot how to spell.

So…I usually prefer to stay off of tiktok. But my band is starting to do the whole Social Media Presence thing, and tiktok is probably the biggest social media currently.

We recently starting posting parts of our songs from practice. The first video took off, over a thousand views within the first few hours. We got a hundred followers in a day with one video.

Being an openly all-trans band, I was not surprised when Lexi said that they had they immediately shadowbanned us after that. The second we got tagged as LGBTQ anything, our viewership vanished. Lexi tried to promote the video, and we were rejected for “violating community guidelines”.

You can very clearly see when we got banned. For a moment, before we were artificially suppressed, we started getting a small audience and great feedback. Then we went immediately into the crusher.

Social media is a deal maker for upstarting creators. If you don’t have a massive following and interaction, no one will pick up your work. These algorithms can take that chance away from you.

Anyways, fuck you tiktok. If you want to support trans creators, if you do the tiktok thing, if you like hot jams and punk, give us a listen and tell us what you think!

We should never find out what Crowley's name was as an angel.

We don't need to be spreading people's deadnames around to satisfy our own morbid curiosity. Crowley is not that angel anymore, and he's named himself and told us his name, and we should respect that.

Trans joy is smiling a little brighter every Purim, because underneath all the baggage of how your deadname was used, you still like that you were originally named after Esther :)

Trans joy is nodding towards your deadname and blowing it a kiss, like something that was never going to fit you but wasn’t bad in itself

🤍!

seeing/hearing my deadname is so crazy like who tf are you

You deadname doesn’t have to not be used anymore for it to be a deadname.

I know that personally, I didn’t think I was allowed to call it my deadname since my (at the time unsupportive) family was still using it for me. In my eyes, since it was still actively being used, it wasn’t “dead.”

But that’s not the case! You’re allowed to call it your deadname no matter what stage of transition you’re at, even if people still call you by it, even if you haven’t told anyone and are still in the closet!

Remember: trans people are allowed to use whatever terminology they want to describe their experiences as long as it isn’t harmful to anyone. And it is in no way harmful to call your deadname your deadname.

Sorry this post got a bit ramble-y and possibly hard to follow, my brain is currently fried. But I hope this helps someone!

A little poem about being trans that I wrote in the middle of the night

Tw: mentions of death and burning

I killed her / I burnt her body

I stomped her name into the remains / but i still carry her ashes with me

As a reminder of who I once was / of how I’m different now

But she’s still a part of me / she’ll always haunt me

And I don’t think that’s a bad thing / I think it’s natural / it’s human

"Your deadname is the only name you can have because it’s what you were named at birth"

Shut up. My Grandpa--a straight cis man from birth to death; WW2 motorpool veteran; kind-hearted fucking survivor; who grew up farming with horse and buggy--went by Dike because he didn't LIKE HIS OWN BIRTHNAME.

Dike: a long wall or embankment built to prevent flooding from the sea.

I have no idea WHERE he got the name, but I've always assumed it was from his military service. Doesn't matter, BECAUSE HE USED IT SO MUCH THAT THEY HAD TO NOTE IT ON HIS OBITUARY AND AT HIS FUNERAL IN 2008.

SO FUCK YOU.

Is it wrong that I don’t like using the word “dead name” when referring to the name a trans person had prior to transitioning (I feel like it’s unintentionally enforcing the idea that transgenderism is about becoming a different person and I would prefer using a word like birth name instead)?

I think refusing to use the word "deadname" makes it seem like you're trying to sanitize the transgender experience, to make it more acceptable to yourself. Plus, some trans people do consider themselves to be "becoming a different person", and some consider themselves to just be becoming their true selves. All experiences are valid, and if someone is uncomfortable with you using the word "birth name" then you need to respect that. But either way, you need the be comfortable using the word "deadname". Personally, I would consider my old name to be my "deadname", and I would much prefer people refer to it as such.

im actually in the same boat with being gender fluid and my legal name

i dont mind having a feminine name, in fact one of my preferred names IS feminine

but the name itself just isnt me and ive resented that for a long time. now im not sure if i dislike it because i actually dislike the name or if i dislike it because i needed to in order to realize my identity

(i have a few classmates with the name as well and it's kinda 😖 for me. but at least thats more reason for my teachers to call me my preferred name)

I don’t have more to add to this relatable feeling so I’m just gonna add a pic of these two rescues

Today's hot take: I'm never going to stop deadnaming Twitter while Elon keeps deadnaming his actual children

How a 1985 horror film addresses the importance of true names and gave a cis character a dead name

I happen to love the original 1985 horror film Fright Night (not so much the remake).   In the original Fright Night a teenage boy named Charley Brewster discovers that his new neighbor is a vampire.  

Not knowing what to do, Charley seeks the aid of has-been horror actor, Peter Vincent.  Peter Vincent hosts a TV show also called Fright Night where he shows classic monster movies (usually featuring himself.) Now Peter Vincent happens to be the character’s stage name based on Peter Cushing (Hammer Horror actor who played Dr. Van Helsing in Hammer’s Dracula movies), and Vincent Price (classic horror actor). It was actually the name of the character he played in his old monster movies “Peter Vincent The Great Vampire Killer.”  Imagine if Sarah Michelle Geller couldn’t find work after Buffy, started hosting late night monster movies and began answering to the name Buffy Summers.  That’s pretty much what happened here. At first Peter is reasonably skeptical to Charley’s claims that his neighbor is a real vampire but after seeing the man doesn’t cast a reflection in a mirror Peter is forced to face the reality that vampires are real.

From this point on the character experiences intense character growth.  He goes from cowardly-has-been horror actor to becoming the hero he always pretended to be. One major catalyst for this is when Peter is forced to defend himself against a recently created vampire “Evil” Ed.  Seeing that poor boy die as a vampire is both heart breaking and terrifying and Peter realizes he has to become the hero he always pretended to be. While trying to encourage himself he repeats again and again the words ”I am Peter Vincent, the great vampire Killer.  I am Peter Vincent, the great vampire killer!”

Earlier in the movie when Charley had tried to encourage Peter (after he had panicked at learning vampires are real) Charley had said something very similar to which Peter had responded with “That’s a character in a movie!  That’s not even my real name!” Well, Peter finally becomes the hero he always pretended to be.  His “real” name never comes up again.  In fact his character is credited as Peter Vincent on the end credits.  And he answers to Peter Vincent all through the sequel.  At this point his original name has become a deadname. He sees himself as Peter Vincent and that is who he has become. The deadname no longer matters.   His stage name, his character name has become his true name.  This is a great symbolism to show how a chosen name can be a true name and a birth name is not necessarily your true name or who you are meant to be, and yes, you can learn who you truly are later.

There’s a lot of LGBTQ+ overtones in the original Fright Night (again, not so much the remake).  Amanda Beares (who played Amy, Charley’s love interest) was a lesbian in real life. Stephen Geoffreys (who played Ed) was gay in real life.  Roddy McDowall (Peter Vincent) was gay in real life.  Not only that but the character was half-inspired by Vincent Price (who was bisexual). The character Jerry Dandridge (the main vampire) had a live-in male companion that was implied to be a lover even though he also felt Amy looked like a lost lost.   And Fright Night Part 2 also featured several gay actors, including one who was dying of AIDS, Merritt Butrick (it would be his final role).  The character Regine was also implied to be bisexual.  And there was a one trans character named Belle.  

Though deadnaming wasn’t (by the majority) considered an issue yet in 1985 I would like to believe that Peter Vincent’s self-acceptance and discovering who he truly was is something powerful for many in the LGBTQ+ community.

There’s virtually no LGTBTQ+ content in the remake. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember there being any black actors in the remake either for that matter. Meanwhile in the original Fright Night the club bouncers and the homicide detective were black.  Jerry’s sister in Fright Night: Part 2 (1988) was of mixed race, and Belle (the transwoman vampire) was black.       

Fright Night (1985) deserves a more respectful remake, embracing the LGBTQ+ overtones of the original, not changing everything to try to make it be the anti-Twilight that the 2011 Fright Night tried to be.

I know on a primal level that everyone's experience is going to be different. But i can't stop the anxiety that i feel when something becomes a "trend" in this community. Especially on tiktok. I see the deadname trend everywhere on my fyp. And i know it's tiktok's algorithm that's pushing it to me. But i don't feel the same way. I don’t immediately have dysphoria from simply encountering my deadname. Being called it- yes. But not encountering it. And it feels like such a universal experience. Everyone has dysphoria related to their deadname. Why don't I?

Todays PSA

Your trans friends don’t owe you their deadname. You don’t need to know it. Its a DEADname. You’re not gonna use it (or at least you better not), so why do you need to know? You don’t

If your trans friend offers to tell you their deadname? Cool! But don’t ask. It’s rude. And from my experience + other stories from trans friends, it will make them trust you less

Based on my most recent long post I'm gonna ask a question.

Reblog for more variety in answers. Also pls put in the tags what ur gender ID is if ur comfortable and what u voted.