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bisexualvader · 2 months

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what my notifs look like currently

#the boop wars.... sending loving boops back from my main blog <3 #boop #april fool's day #april fools #star wars #sw memes #sw crack #star wars shitpost #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #aaphra's stuff

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fanaticalthings · 13 days

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I want an AU where after Jason gets brought back to life, he channels his inner rage and turmoil into the academics instead of murder

Talia has like infinite money and a crap ton of influence, so she can absolutely get Jason the best tutors and can easily get him into the most prestigious schools if Jason wanted to (she doesn't need to do that though because Jason's just smart enough to get into them on his own)

The major he chooses? Med.

Why? Because Bruce dropped out of med school.

Jason practically flies through all the secondary education that he needs to catch up on and is already en route to earning his bachelor's AND his master's.

And it'd be so incredibly funny if the way Bruce and Jason reunite in this AU was purely by coincidence.

Bruce (as Brucie Wayne) offers to show up as a guest lecturer at Hudson University (the school Dick attended but dropped out of so double points for Jason), maybe to talk about future career paths and job positions at WE idk

So as Bruce is just wandering around the campus, he randomly bumps into a student and immediately puts on the Brucie act and is all "Oh my, I'm SO sorry, I'm just a klutz haha" only to stop dead silent when he makes eye contact with a very alive, very grown Jason Todd, who also stops dead in his tracks, mouth agape, staring at Bruce like the world's about to end

And before Bruce can get his thoughts straight, Jason just bolts out of there like his life depends on it, and Bruce is just in shambles for the rest of the day.

It doesn't help that the person giving Bruce the tour is all like "Oh yeah, that's Jason, he's one of the heads on our student council haha, anyways, this way, Mr. Wayne." and Bruce is just stood there bluescreening.

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Alternatively, it'd be kinda funny if this all happened AFTER the events of UTRH where after the final encounter with Bruce and Joker and the whole explosion, Jason's just like "yk what, maybe I'm just gonna turn over a new leaf and pursue a higher education"

So while Gotham's still reeling from the aftermath of Jason's near takeover as the top crime lord and Bruce is still painstakingly trying to figure out where his son went, the whole time Jason's just been chilling on a school campus and Bruce just so happens to bump into his son (who, last time they met, tried to kill Bruce and blew up the building they were all in) and Jason's just all normal-looking with his textbooks and nerdy glasses and Bruce doesn't know whether to scream or cry.

#Bruce not thinking and immediately grabbing student!Jason's arm #Jason (being the little shit he is): *screaming at the top of his lungs* THIS BILLIONAIRE IS TRYING TO KIDNAP ME #Bruce internally: ok yeah thats definitely my son #jason todd #bruce wayne #batdad #red hood #Bruce trying to corner Jason later that day: can we PLEASE talk?#jason: (being obnoxiously loud) WHY?? so you can induct me into your PYRAMID SCHEME? so you can trap me into your CAPITALISTIC businesses??#bruce panicking: jason please #Jason: WHO is Jason #Then he pulls a tire iron outta his bag and whacks Bruce with it before running away #just like old times lol #talia showing up one night during patrol and smugly showing off Jason's diplomas and acheivements #talia: he has my fake last name on all his certificates and records.#talia: im just SO proud of my son #bruce crying: please stop #batfamily #batfam #batman #dc #incorrect quotes #crack #fanatical posting

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dangeroustonight · 3 months

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The evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls...

#the willy wonka experience #willy wonka experience glasgow #willy's chocolate experience #the unknown #I'm sorry this is my meme of the day this story is like crack for me

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bet-on-me-13 · 23 days

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The Summoner

So! Danny is not the Ghost King.

But he still has a good relationship with a LOT of Powerful and not-so-powerful Ghosts in the Zone. So much so that they have given him their Summoning Circle's with a blanket permission to Summon them any time. Not like they have much else going on...

This all leads to a hilarious situation where Danny can't use his Powers for whatever reason and is forced to Summon his friends for help. In front of a group of Heroes.

He has to explain everything to them, but accidentally convinces them that he has Summoning Magic and the Ghosts are all on his Contract. He also mentions Saving people from Ghosts and the JLA realize that he is a child Hero.

They ask him if he wants to join Young Justice, and Danny hesitantly agrees.

Now Danny is on Young Justice and the entire team thinks that he is a Hero with Ghost Summoning Magic.

And his name isn't Daniel "Commit to the Bit" Fenton for no reason.

#Dpxdc #Dp x dc #Dcxdp #Dc x dp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Dcu #Danny is a Summoner #Or that's what he tells everyone #Danny explains the situation to all of his friends and they find it absolutely Hilarious #What if one day Constantine is with them and Danny has to Summon Clockwork for help?#“How the FUCK did you manage to get the EMBODIMENT OF TIME on your Payroll?!”#Danny is forced to become Phantom one day and the Team thinks that he let himself get Possessed #That or they think he straight up died #The potential or Angst and Crack fills me with inspiration!

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carlyraejepsans · 8 months

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sans undertale would not make i fucked your wife jokes. people want to make jokes about sans fucking asgore's wife but sans the character would NOT do that r you kidding me. you can cut the secondhand embarrassment with a knife every time they're in the same room together, sans likes the guy, i bet he feels genuinely kinda bad for asgore. he'd be like sorry about the dating your ex wife thing. to be fair she's a really cool ex wife. and asgore would be like (rescue shelter dog sigh) She is.

#i do think he would keep things polite but distant in the early days post pacifist because tori doesn't want anything to do with him #but after some time passes and they became tentative friends he probably like. asks him to manage the grill at the cookout together #gifts him a HUGE sized pair of socks right back for that other time #cracks some jokes. like they seemed to be on pretty good terms in the game #undertale #sans #asgore #soriel

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carrythatwayt · 27 days

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buck.exe has stopped working.... *bluescreen*

#in this moment Buck is all of us #poleaxed by lust for tommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #bi buck #bucktommy #tevan #911 #911 abc #911 text posts #911 memes #911 crack #i had no tumblr for 4 days and this is what happened

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blluespirit · 4 months

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there are so many amazing and powerful benders in atla but what i love about zuko is that whether or not he can use his bending in that moment has zero (0) bearing on how much he’s going to absolutely kick your ass. no bending? that’s fine - he’s got swords. no swords or bending? that’s fine - he’s literally just going to beat you up. if you’re REALLY unlucky then you get all three. as a treat.

#like he’s surrounded by these amazing benders.#azula who’s a prodigy #the literal avatar #katara who mastered water bending in like -3 days #(literally iconic of her tbh)#and zuko IS a great firebender (his abilities as a firebender improve as his story progresses)#but it just absolutely cracks me up when i remember zuko will just. not use his bending sometimes #anyway zuko alone fight was special bc he really said i will use all three bc ur special 🤭#zuko #avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #atla #jack talks #where’s that post that’s like zuko is a prodigy but his special skill is breaking and entering and he can’t tell anyone about that

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ninyard · 22 days

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fox tweets (pt.2)

#sorry the relationship I’ve created between Kevin and Allison in my head is fantastic #I love them #just laughing at my own jokes over here once again guys #I don’t know why I’m cracked up so bad at the last one it’s really not that good #but just the idea of it has me cackling #Neil josten #kevin day #Dan wilds #Renee walker #Allison Reynolds #Nicky hemmick #andrew minyard #Aaron minyard #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #jeremy Knox #mine

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 8 months

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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

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spitblaze · 11 months

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>staff implements a non-optional algorithmic dash

>people find out very quickly the the algorithm isnt very good

>immediately people start gaming the system to make every post the 'rat rat rat' post

>website becomes functionally unusable

>staff takes down algorithmic dash and says it will return

>it never comes back

#spitblaze says things #either that or it'll just. never happen #there already kinda is algorithmic dash but its optional #but if i know staff #it will either be cracked wide open within a day #or just. never happen. ever #doin numbers

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bisexualvader · 2 months

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tumblr was so easily corrupted by the dark side

#bunch of sith lords in my notes #evil boop #boop #april fool's day #april fools #star wars #anakin skywalker #sw crack #sw memes #star wars shitpost #aaphra's stuff

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strawlessandbraless · 4 months

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How I met your Father 💚 💙

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nerdpoe · 8 months

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Damian has been partnered up with Daniel in their Home Ec final.

And Daniel...is putting no effort at all into cooking.

Damian keeps trying to convince him to help, but Daniel keeps wriggling his way out of the responsibility.

Damian ends up having to handle the Turkey! Unacceptable! He does not condone the death of animals for food unless it is for survival! This part must be handled by Daniel.

He shoves the turkey in Daniels' hands.

There's a soft green glow.

He hears Daniel whisper a horrified "oh shit no".

And the very dead turkey that they were supposed to be cooking comes to life.

It is very, very angry.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #after it's all said and done damian scolds danny for not telling him about his meta handicap #danny is just too embarrassed #he gets removed from home ec the next day #apparently the principal hadn't believed him when he told them what would happen if he handled dead animals #they believe him now #crack fic

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vildo · 3 months

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