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hansolmates · 3 years

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one more time (m)

pairing; (former) popular!jk x (former) normie!reader summary; it’s been two years since you’ve seen your former tryst jeon jungkook. you didn’t expect him to be applying for the internship you’re currently running, along with the rate your heart is running at the sight of him in a black suit. genre/warnings; self-deprecating language, your typical (future) co-workers!au, jungkook is a piner and so is oc, a lil bit of sneaking around, adulting, a mutual understanding of feelings (finally!!) smut in the form of—soft n’ dirty baybee, unprotected, cockwarming, overstimulation, minor praise and possession kink, cumplay, &you know that they gon have heart eyes the entire time w.c; 7.3k a/n; darn why am i so... emotional over this??? it started out as a meaningless drabble series but with all my lovely readers and moots it’s grown into such a fun, introspective series. thank u for loving this and joining me on this journey. for those of u who are new to this series feel free to read popular-ish first or as a standalone! [popular-ish masterlist]

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“A mess, I’m a mess,” you sing-song to yourself, organizing the manuals on the clear glass by subject and size. The applications of all your new interns are alphabetized, not a form out of place. Everything’s perfect. “Alright Jessica, all twenty of the interns are accounted for.”

“Actually, there’s twenty-three,” Jessica quips, and you let your shoulders slump. Being part of the recruiting team of your company has been simultaneously exciting and stressful. Stressful because of the constant travel, but otherwise exciting because you loved your internship at your current company. You remember how nervous you were two years ago, and how much support and help you got from your recruiters. Applying to this team was a natural turn of events.

“A-are you sure, Jess?” you look through all the applications, count the amount of nametags, triple check the chairs. You’re sweating through your blazer, wondering where you went wrong.

The head of your recruiting team glues one hand to her hip, while the other hand is holding her iPad, scrolling with her thumb. You swallow, intimidated by Jessica’s golden wavy locks and her black-trimmed white Chanel pantsuit.

“Yep, but don’t be too hard on yourself. I just added three more recruits last night. I’ll get the chairs and the apps are being printed. No worries,” Jessica assures, gesturing for you to hurry up and get outside, “Call the babies in!” your team leader waves her finger around like a magic wand, commanding you to the front lines.

Krystal puts a hand on her shoulder, as always looking impeccable. She has virtually nothing to worry about. She’s a woman who has connections, courtesy of her team leader. “Let’s go, newbie,” she teases, pulling you through the door.

The recruits in the lobby are wide-eyed and vibrant, and you feel a little nostalgic as you watch them line up in front of you and Krystal as you sign them in. You would dwell on the feeling more if it wasn’t for your exhaustion, so you decide you’ll get a chance to take a road down memory lane when you get to the hotel.

“Name?”

“Xu Minghao.”

“Congrats Minghao, here’s your nametag and I’ll see you inside,” with a firm handshake, one recruiter is free to go.

“Name?”

“Chou Tzuyu.”

“Congrats Tzuyu, here’s your name tag and I’ll see you inside,” she doesn’t go in straight away, and moves to the side of the door. “Actually,” you pause mid-handshake with another recruit, staring at the woman in curiosity, “my boyfriend just got a call last night that he was accepted in this year’s batch. Do you have his name?”

“Yes, three more recruits were added,” you chirp, as if you totally did not hear that bit of information five minutes ago, “What’s his name—Jungkook?”

The both of you blink at each other. One hand on Tzuyu’s shoulder, eyes wide and mirroring yours. Your heart falls straight to your stomach, wanting to be eaten by acids and bacteria so you can stop any possibility of feeling any lingering affection for the boy you fooled around with in undergrad. Everything about him screams professional. He’s clean cut, a pinstripe black suit you never thought he’d own, and his hair is neatly trimmed and pulled behind his ears. His shoulders look tall and broad under the slight padding, his biceps comfortably stretching against the dark fabric. The golden complexion remains the same however, from the honest brown eyes to the coral pink lips that would always smile at you.

“Oh, so you do have his name!” Tzuyu clasps her hands together, delighted. He has a girlfriend, too. It’s then you realize you’ll be stuck with not just him, but her for the week. “You guys are so efficient. C’mon Kookie, let’s find some seats!”

“I still gotta get my nametag,” he replies goodnaturedly, gesturing to you, “save us some seats in the front?”

Tzuyu thinks nothing of it, squeezing his bicep before skipping off to the front row. Your eyes linger on her form, and it’s only then you realize how tall and intimidatingly pretty she looks in that plaid teddy bear brown skirt suit. You did not look that good when you were a budding undergrad.

By this time, Krystal has taken all your other recruits from your line, regarding you with a raised brow. She’s fast with her attendance, so you know you don’t have much time.

“I applied last minute,” Jungkook says, scratching his head, “was running out of options before graduation. I didn’t know you’d be one of my recruiters, though. Lucky me.”

Jungkook and you never ended up keeping in contact, at least as of recent. A check-in message a few months in, a happy birthday or holiday greeting late at night. But two years later and those messages are automatic, with no feeling or personality. You never thought you’d see him again, no less in the city.

“You just graduated with your masters, congrats,” you smile at Jungkook, although you’re sure the feigned emotion fails to reach your eyes, “IT Management, right?”

“You remembered,” Jungkook brightens, reaching over to squeeze your shoulder, “you look good.”

“Oh please—” you laugh to yourself, shaking your head, “I just got off a flight and I ran over in a two-day old suit, I don’t even have makeup on,” you didn’t feel this way in the morning, you just rushed to do the bare minimum to be enough and ran over to the convention hall. But now in the presence of Jungkook who looks so handsome and clean-cut, you can’t help but feel a little slighted at the sudden reunion.

“You’re always beautiful,” Jungkook exhales, and you clutch your clipboard closer to your chest.

You cough, an excuse for him to stop touching your shoulder, “You should go inside, it’s gonna start soon. We can catch up later.”

“Wait—” you make a scrunched up face that Jungkook can’t catch, but right in Krystal’s view. You can tell she’s laughing at you internally with her devious grin. “I just wanted to say, Tzuyu isn’t my girlfriend. We’re just…”

“Fooling around?” you didn’t mean for it to sound so sharp, but you wanted this conversation over. You have a job to do and Jungkook is your emotional barrier.

You and Jungkook used to fool around.

Jungkook winces, looking younger in his monkey suit. “I mean if you give me a chance to explain later—”

“Nametag, let’s go newbie.” Krystal slaps on the sticker herself, a little too hard if she asked. She doesn’t even bother to write his full name, just a bright green Jeon JK, IT Management tacked on his breast pocket, clashing with the gold pocket square.

“Sorry,” Jungkook tucks his tail in for now, bowing at you and Krystal as he scurries inside.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. Krystal doesn’t bother to comfort you or ask what’s up—not that you want her to, even though you do want a breather before you have to go up on that stage and explain the itinerary for a week. The only thing you can do is smooth out your skirt, brush away the flyaways on your hairstyle and plaster a company-paid smile on your face.

The autopilot switch is on throughout the rest of the morning. Not just because Jungkook’s around, but the new position has got you on livewire. You’re glad that you’re not wearing base makeup because you are absolutely melting with all the high beam lights all up in your face as you talk through the week’s activities.

You could swear Jungkook clapped a little harder than most once you stopped talking, but maybe it’s because you’re not used to seeing Jungkook in the very front of a lecture. In fact, he was a very hard middle person, preferring not to show off his intelligence and let other people lead the discussion. Then again, it’s been two years, you don’t know how much he’s changed.

Jessica caps off the seminar with a great kick-off, the happy hour. The recruitment team picks a four star restaurant under their hotel so the recruits can enjoy themselves before going off to the training facility for a week.

And by training facility, you also mean yet another four-star hotel. You knew you made the right decision by joining this company because the benefits are impeccable, and value personal enjoyment just as much as they value work ethic. In the morning you and the recruits will be driving uptown to a private resort where there would be classes in the morning, and recoup in the evening. You’re very much looking forward to the infinity pool on the roof.

The recruits are ushered out as soon as you’re done, and that’s when you step out of the shadows to clean up the chairs and the brochures left behind. Thankfully Jungkook is probably following the norm and going back to the hotel to freshen up before dinner. Once the room is completely empty, you rip off your blazer and let yourself relax.

It’s going to be a long week.

Jeon: where u @?

You: hotel room

Jeon: why? Thought we were all gonna have dinner together

You: nahhh, this night is for the recruits! You’ll be tired of our faces by the end of the week, enjoy it while you can 😉 have a good night

You sigh in contentment, relaxing further into the silk sheets. You just finished your skincare routine, letting some mindless drama play as the essences and serums sink into your skin. All you want is one Jungkook-free night. Tomorrow you’ll be stuck training him and Tzuyu for the week and you want to take tonight to emotionally prepare yourself.

Your phone rings once more.

Big Baddie Jessica Jung: krystal and i ordered takeout in the restaurant downstairs. Can u bring it to our room? Plsssssss

Little Baddie Krystal Jung: it’ll be faster if you do it, we even got u a lil somethin🍰🍰🍰

Taking in your outfit, you grimace. You’re dressed for bed, a large nightie with your hair pulled back and a little pink bunny tie headband on top. Can’t they get room service to send it up? You admire your boss but you don’t understand why she needs to display her power over and over, she already knows you’ll follow her to the ends of the earth.

Quickly slipping into a pair of sneakers you run down the expanse of the hotel. It’s easy to spot where the recruits are, livin’ it up in the large restaurant that takes up half the space of the ground floor. Most of them are pretty drunk, hoping to sleep off the hangover on the four-hour bus ride. You have absolutely no judgement, two years ago you were in the same position.

Thankfully you don’t have to go far into the restaurant, as the hostess immediately knows Jessica’s order. While you wait for her to go into the kitchen and get it you drum your fingers against the counter, hoping no one notices you. It’s akin to when you’re a teacher in a mall, hoping none of your students gawk at you in the middle of Victoria’s Secret.

“Ah, well Jungkook and I aren’t official yet—but very soon.”

Your ears perk up at the sweet voice. Tzuyu is leaning across the open bar next to the counter, sipping on a mango mojito. She’s dumped the blazer for the night, showing off her soft skin and slender arms with a sleeveless cream blouse.

“Then where is he?” another recruiter asks, gesturing to the expanse of the lobby.

“He’s not much of a party person,” Tzuyu shrugs, tipping back her drink.

You scoff, plastering on a smile to the hostess as you grab your bags and walk as fast as you can out of the lobby. You’ve never felt more like an old hag until now. Sure, most of the recruits are younger than you, but seeing Tzuyu talk so freely about her relationship with Jungkook has you in a bit of a spiral. The day of graduation, you told Jungkook not to wait for you. Heck, you’re only interested in the idea of what you could’ve had with Jungkook.

These thoughts only cloud you further as you jab the elevator buttons all the way up to the suites where you and the Jungs reside. You relax a little when you see a strawberry cheesecake sitting prettily on the top of their order, your name written on the label with a little heart. Hanging their bag on the door handle of their room, you make your way back to your suite.

You freeze when you see a floppy-haired Jungkook roaming the hallway, looking like a clueless child hobbling around in slippers and wide eyes at any sparkly item that decorates the area. It doesn’t even look like he tried attending the happy hour tonight, dressed in an impossibly big heather grey sweatsuit that swallows his form.

“Are you lost?” you ask tentatively, as if you’re talking to a toddler lost at the mall.

Jungkook relaxes considerably at the sound of your voice, and he replies, “Was tryna find your room since you didn’t reply to my texts.”

“So… you decided to check all the rooms?”

“Yep,” he pops the p with a smack of his lips, “I figured the recruiters would be far away from the party so I started at the top. Thankfully I got to Jessica’s room first. Didn’t have to knock on too many doors. Only one old man got annoyed at me.”

“You’re crazy,” you chuckle, slipping in your keycard to let Jungkook in.

“Fuck, this room all to yourself?”

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to kick his slides to a corner of the wall, flopping atop your bed and clutching your baby blue koala plush in his arms. The king sized bed is enough for his legs to stretch comfortably without falling off the edge, and he eagerly pads his feet against the soft fabric.

It warms you to think that Jungkook is comfy enough to lay on your bed and hug your stuffed animals, a semblance of friends that you’ve missed for such a long time. Last year the team you worked for was great, you loved the people and even now you consider some of them friends. This year the team is a little smaller, and since your two other co-workers are sisters, it’s a little harder to nudge yourself in the direction of friendship.

As soon as you sit down against the headboard, Jungkook’s eyes soften. Everything feels so different and the same. The threadbare pajamas that either of you haven’t had the heart to throw away since they’re so damn comfy, yet your bodies are a little more worn and your eyes a little more droopier than usual.

“So,” Jungkook bites his lip, not in the sexy way, but the nervous way, “about Tzuyu—”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to explain yourself,” you slump on your corner of the bed, regarding Jungkook with guilty eyes. “I really shouldn’t be feeling the way I’m feeling. It isn’t fair and I don’t want to jeopardize your internship.”

“And… what are you feeling?”

“Dumb things.”

“Your feelings aren’t dumb.”

“This time they are.”

“I’ve always shared my feelings, it’s unfair that you never want to share yours,” Jungkook sits up, criss-cross applesauce, pensive. “Maybe it’s my fault for not making you feel comfortable enough to share, but I feel like the reason why we never worked out was because we never tried hard enough to have a proper conversation.”

How could you have missed all the indicators, all the good words, all the kindness Jungkook has given you that last semester? “You’re absolutely right,” you let your insecurities, your apprehensiveness, get in the way. You think in two years you’d do better to eradicate this kind of behavior, but lately you haven’t had many friends to express your feelings to. “Tell you what, I’ll work harder to express how I feel. No exchanges, no nothings. I owe you this.”

“You owe me nothing,” Jungkook smiles, “I just think it would be nice to y’know, talk. As friends.”

“Right, friends.”

“So, will you hear me out about Tzuyu?”

“Let me open my cake,” you pull out your bag with the cheesecake, which thankfully has two spoons, “it seems like we’ll be having that kind of conversation.”

Everyone is more amicable because of food. According to Jungkook, Tzuyu has a hardcore, ten-year plan for her twenties. After a couple of dates with Jungkook, Tzuyu whips him into the plan. Mentions that she’s well-bred and has a family reputation to uphold. Says IT Management is something completely desirable in a partner, that he’s sensible and wonderful and would like to be committed full-time.

“And she talked to her parents about me and said that I’m a good prospect for marriage. Like I’m another pillar in her plan!” Jungkook cries, taking a monstrously sized bite of your cheesecake, wallowing away.

This is akin to sleepovers you’ve always wanted to have in high school, down to the food gorging. You can’t help but be fascinated, “So are you wrapped up in an engagement? Is this a scary rendition of Crazy Rich Asians?”

“You just can’t turn a one-eighty like that on a fifth date,” Jungkook shakes his head, reeling at the emotional whiplash, “she’s really nice. Really organized, really perfect. It really intimidates me.”

“Is she what you reaaaally want?” you can’t help but ask, rolling your eyes at the excessive use of the word, and tamp down the pain in your stomach by eating a forkful of creamy cheesecake.

“I don’t know!” Jungkook replies exasperatedly, “Obviously I’m worried since she wants to put a ring on it. I told her she needs to back off. Right after the seminar I said she had no right telling other people we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. She didn’t say much, just frowned and walked away.”

You roll your eyes, scraping the leftover graham cracker crust from the edge of the plastic plate. “According to her, I heard you two are planning to make it official very soon.”

His eyes widen, “I really bring girl trouble wherever I go, don’t I?”

“Since I’ve known you,” you half-joke, putting away the plastic cutlery on the nightstand.

You two sit in silence for a few moments, letting the television fill the room with mindless static about some sappy Hallmark movie. Tentatively, you land a hand on Jungkook’s knee. He looks down at your tiny fingers, giving his skin an experimental squeeze of comfort.

“I don’t want her,” he finally says.

“Okay,” you reply, “you won’t even have to talk to her if you don’t want to. I can arrange the groups this week so you don’t have to be around—”

“Give me one week,” his eyes flash to yours, dark and sharp.

“Jungkook. You have your determined face on,” it makes you sweat.

“Because I’m determined to win you over, once and for all,” you eyes widen, and Jungkook visibly freezes, “was that too much? I’m kind of on an emotional high today. I didn’t expect to see you today and it kind of threw me into a loop. I thought I might be running into you once I started my internship but I didn’t think you’d be my recruiter. And then you went on that stage all bad-ass talking about work and you looked so gorgeous in your suit and I was so proud knowing you made it and IrealizedhowmuchImissedyou—”

“Jungkook, slower,” you’re feeling a little woozy as well, equally overwhelmed. “You’re just saying this because you didn’t expect to see me—”

“You’re deflecting, again.”

“I’m scared, okay?” you blurt, throwing your hands in the air. “You’re right, this is all so sudden. So can’t we just start being friends and see if it takes us somewhere? You don’t have to win me over, just support me like I’ll support you.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook moves up the bed, so he’s leaning against the headboard as well. His long legs stretch farther than yours, and it feels oddly domestic as you talk it out and stare at the television screen. “I’m just, worried I’m running out of time.”

“I'm not going anywhere this time.”

“I know,” Jungkook shakes his head, ridding himself of his torrid thoughts. Conceding, he gestures to the television, pulling out the remote under your pillow, “wanna watch television, or catch up?”

You last about an hour until you knock out. However, Jungkook keeps you entertained up until that moment, as you exchange your lives and stresses. Everything meshes together, you’re not sure if it’s the charm that comes with late night talks, but you feel like you can talk to Jungkook about anything if given the time. You melt when he strokes your hair till the last minute, wishing you a goodnight and a promise of more.

“Okay, I’ve gone over most of the work ethics in the manual,” you smile nervously when you see your glazed over recruits, nearly falling off their chairs. Even Krystal is bored out of her mind, discreetly playing with her phone in the back under her manual. Of course you’d get stuck with teaching the boring classes. “Any last minute questions before we head off for dinner?”

Tzuyu shoots her hand up, “Are romantic relationships allowed in the workplace?”

Jungkook promptly chokes on his water bottle. He looks up at you, panicked. Ignoring his terror, you paint on a thin smile towards the young woman, “Like I mentioned earlier, romantic relationships between employees are not frowned upon, so long as you’re not working under or over someone in the same department.”

“Right, just wanted to make sure,” Tzuyu is all chipper smiles as she thanks you.

If you were still twenty-one, you’d gag at the pointed look she sends Jungkook. They’re sitting diagonal from each other, and Jungkook makes a point to pretend to be interested in your lecture until the very end.

You’re halfway done with recruitment week, and while you’re not shocked at how fast the week has gone by, you’re fairly disappointed that Jungkook and you haven’t had time to meet up in private. So far it’s been easy enough to keep your friendship (and past sexual relationship) a secret, but something dark and eager tells you how much you want more. The recruiters are eager to leave, all twenty-three of them grouping off and talking about what they want to eat for dinner. Everyone except a certain dark-haired fellow, who’s hair is currently bouncing off it’s styled coiff, wanting to return to it’s normal non-gelled self.

“Kookie,” you raise a brow at the interaction, Tzuyu leaning over her chair to Jungkook’s, “wanna get dinner tonight?”

Jungkook’s taking an excruciatingly long time to pack his things, raising a brow at her, “I’ve told you already, I don’t want to be involved in whatever plans you have.”

“Oh-kay,” Tzuyu rocks back and forth on her oxford heels, pursing her magenta pink lips, “then why don’t we at least walk back to the hotel together? I really want to talk about some things that might change your mind.”

“Nothing will change my mind,” Jungkook’s determined face has been staying strong for the week, from the way he makes sure he’s first in your class to the simple “good morning” and “good night” texts you exchange. “Besides, I have a date tonight. And I really want to talk to the recruiters about a personal work matter, so can you please leave?”

You try not to snort at how blatant Jungkook was being. You pretend to organize your folders, throwing whatever random notes you have in your bag for later.

“A date,” she twitches, “with who?”

“Someone that doesn’t treat me like a stepping stone in her career path,” Jungkook deadpans, and that’s all it takes for Tzuyu to huff and walk away from the hall.

You think Tzuyu is like a bug, relatively harmless, but someone who gets on your nerves.

“A date, huh?” Krystal quotes, finally looking up from her phone. Her sharp, cat-eyes linger at the door, wondering if Tzuyu is going to pop out and try to drag Jungkook by the reins. Finally, she plants her stare between you and Jungkook. “So, you two fucking?”

“Former fucking,” Jungkook supplies helpfully, and you jump off your podium to elbow him in the ribs, “ow—what?”

“You just don’t tell Krystal we’re fucking!”

“Former fucking,” he chastises, but the eyes he sends you are a little sultry, and you wonder if he’s thinking of fucking in the future. You reel yourself back, focusing on the third party.

But you anticipate that Krystal couldn’t care less, and you’re grateful for that. While a smaller work team means a smaller possibility of close work relationships, you do like the drama-free environment. “Like you said,” Krystal shrugs, slinging her briefcase over her shoulder, “romantic relationships in the workplace are not frowned upon.”

You wring your hands between your bag when Krystal finally makes her getaway, and you look up at Jungkook. “So,” you smile wryly, “you have a date tonight, huh?”

“With a pretty working woman,” he sighs dramatically, putting a hand over his chest, “that is, if she’ll have me.”

“Consider yourself taken.”

Jungkook and you sneak away to your suite once again. To your surprise, the suite is decorated in rose petals and a bottle of champagne sits in an ice bath on your bedside. A large pizza pie sits beautifully on your coffee table, and the television is playing lo-fi hip-hop.

You feed Jungkook champagne-dipped strawberries as you gorge on the joy that is baked bread and cheese.

And when he kisses you, it’s slow and sweet, like you have all the time in the world.

It’s the last day of recruitment week, and all classes ended at noon so the interns can use all the resort’s amenities to the fullest. Many of the interns, including yourself, Jessica and Krystal, are on the rooftop celebrating a successful workweek. Staff and interns alike are buzzing around, eager to top off their weekend with some relaxation and sun.

Jungkook is with his new team, conversing with other IT employees. You try not to stare too hard at your reignited flame, tipping back a cutely decorated glass of fruit. His arms ripple as he tips back the liquid. He’s wearing a tank top and you could swear his biceps have gotten meatier. Unfortunately you hold yourself back, after all the internship isn’t quite over and you still are a professional.

At the end of the weekend you really have nothing to worry about, you know that.

But Tzuyu? She irritating.

“I just don’t understand,” Tzuyu suspects nothing of your budding relationship with Jungkook. You’re thankful for that because towards the end of the week, it was getting harder and harder to be subtle when you two send each other heart eyes from three meters away.

Tzuyu sounds like she’s talking to herself, the way she stares into the infinity pool, despite the fact that her friends are surrounding her with rapt attention. You’re a cabana away from her, sipping languidly at your drink while Jessica and Krystal nap next to you. Even though you can’t see Tzuyu, you can practically feel her pout emanating through the fabric that separates you two. Despite the fact that she’s been offered a great intern position given her degree and experience, she’s still upset. For her, is that not the most important part of this whole week?

“Jungkook’s really not that great if he’s going to turn me down like that,” Tzuyu seethes. You should write up her nonsense in a book and publish it, really. “Why waste time when he has the whole package right in front of him?”

It’s then you realize why you’ve been so torn, so strung up and wound tight all these years. Just like college, all shy and hesitant to take a step forward while Jungkook was ten steps ahead, you were worried. You let other people’s thoughts stop you from making the leap, girls like Tzuyu that never meant to intimidate you, but you let their presence get up in your head and control the nonexistent hierarchy.

But two years later, and that doesn’t matter. It never mattered. Jungkook is no longer the all-star lacrosse player, but what remains is his heart, full and willing.

Everything Tzuyu just said was… wrong. Irrevocably, inexplicably messed up. But the idea of “wasting time” does strike a chord within you. Are you wasting time? At this point, your feelings of each other are pretty clear. What are you two waiting for, again?

You thought Krystal was sleeping, considering her sunhat sitting atop her face, but once she hears you packing away your bag she whistles, “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

Sending a quick text to Jungkook, you make a beeline for your destination. You don’t even bother looking for him in the crowd.

You: meet me by the elevator at the very end of the lobby.

Not a minute passes by when Jungkook joins you at said elevator. He has two glasses of champagne in his hands, and offers one to you, “tired of the party?” he asks.

You clink drinks, easily tipping yours back. “It’s not our thing,” you declare with a small smile. Jungkook's eyes soften, glancing back and forth between your face and the soft pleats of your marigold sundress. His hair is pushed back, sticky from sweat and chlorine, dark bangs hanging over the shaved sides of his head. You turn your head slightly as you wait for the elevator, biting your lip as you're sorely reminded of how sexy Jungkook looked at the dive pool half an hour ago.

The elevator dings, and it’s wide enough for you to slip in at the same time. You put your champagne glass in the corner of the elevator for now, hoping you don’t accidentally step on it. In closed quarters, you can smell the slight tang of chlorine coming from Jungkook, combined with his own brand of musk.

Jungkook looks younger tonight, happier. Having just finished graduate school and working towards a full-time gig, another chapter in his life has started. His hair is no longer in that tight-whipped coiff he struggled all week to maintain, loosened in its natural wave due to the pool water and heat. His cheeks are a little ruddied and plump, a sign he’s been enjoying the food this week.

The door barely closes when you get it out, pulling at his hand to face you.

“Jungkook, I like you,” you blurt, and his eyes bug out considerably. Out of reflex, his hand sharply squeezes yours. “You don’t have to say anything, because you’ve been saying everything for the majority of our relationship. I really like you, I really liked you back then too. You’re still so sweet, and loving, and smart and I’ve just been too dumb and insecure to—”

Jungkook seals your confession away with a desperate kiss, and you turn into a pile of mush at the contact. Relief seeps into your bones, sings into your system. When he pulls away, he looks serious. He doesn’t let you get far, and clutches your face between his two hands so you can’t turn your head. Your soft cheeks fill between his fingers, warm and cradled.

“Never call yourself that,” Jungkook exhales, regarding you with firm eyes, “you’re beautiful, and intelligent, and the person I want.”

“I don’t wanna take it slow anymore,” you mumble against his lips, leaning in so that you can barely nip at the pink skin. “Want you now, need you now.”

“You have me now,” Jungkook agrees, and as soon as the elevator dings open to your floor, he scoops you up into his arms.

By all means it’s not graceful, he’s clutching you like a baby with his hands over your butt as he jiggles you all the way to your front door. Clinging onto him like a koala, you press kisses to his cheeks as he leads you to your room. You laugh and giggle like teenagers, as he fumbles between your breast to grab the card key that’s nestled between your bra. It’s warm in his hand as he swipes it through the reader, pushing you inside.

“Is it bad that I’m kinda turned on by the fact you got my key out of my boob?” you joke, although the contact of his rough fingers against your breast is a feeling well missed.

“Is it bad that I’m always turned on when you lecture in seminars?” Jungkook retorts, kicking the door closed with his slipper-clad foot as he walks you to the bed. “Fuck, I can hear you talk about insurance benefits all day.”

“Didn’t know my sex appeal extended that way—oh fuck—”

Your vibrant marigold sundresses provides easy access to Jungkook as he throws you onto the mattress, your skirt billowing over your waist as he makes quick work to expose more of your skin.

“No more talking, more loving,” he’s crazed, doesn’t hesitate to move your bikini bottoms to the side as he rubs lovingly at your long-lost bud, “need to fuck you, now. It’s been so fucking long.”

“Kook,” his breath is warm against your already sopping cunt, and you lift your hand to run through the strands of his messy hair. It only takes one firm tug and you’re able to pull him up by the root of his hair, cranberry juice tinted lips with a faint sheen because he couldn’t help himself to have a little taste of you. “Baby, let me touch you. Let me show you how much I want you," you coo with a pout, hands trailing over the drawstrings of his trunks.

You can see how much Jungkook wants to say yes. His eyes glow with the possibility, bright and wanting in the afternoon sunlight. The image of him shoving his cock deep into your throat, so far that you can taste it in every crevice of your mouth. Your nails gripping into his ass as you go deeper, tears pricking your eyes as cum seeps out of your pretty lips.

But he firmly shakes his head, fingers doing the devil’s work as he eases a digit in you. A little noise of protest bubbles in your throat, but it soon dies out as soon as he finds the right spot to reduce you to mush.

“Next time,” he exhales against the juncture between your thigh and pelvis, picking up the pace and adding another finger, “if you touch me, I’ll cum right then n’there. This is enough for me, you’re enough.”

So you let him have what he wants. You’ll make it up to him in the morning, and the day after, and the day after. You shed your clothes, the sundress extra forgiving as it slides off your body, revealing a swimsuit that hasn’t even touched the pool. You feel a little self-conscious as he drinks you in after so long, but he quickly shucks off his clothes to match your state of nakedness.

You remember how you tiptoed around your first night with Jungkook, taking great care to make sure it was fleeting, how dark the room was as you let your pleasure take over your senses. Two years later and the sun is setting, gold bleeding through your sheets and illuminating the room. There's no need to hide.

“I must say, we’ve both kept it tight,” Jungkook teases with a wink, squeezing your hips so he can change positions.

You silently agree, your fingers slipping across the washboard of his waist.

“Mm, and still so fuckin’ cute,” Jungkook marvels as he pulls you up on his lap. Your whole body is flushed with want, one hand squeezing your breasts while the other plays with the curls of hair that lead to your sopping wetness. You glide your core over Jungkook’s stomach, sighing as you take note of the abs that clench under your heat and his hot member that rubs between your ass.

It’s a tight fit when you finally sink down on him, but the burn only fuels your desire as he stretches you wide. His grip is helpful as he guides you through the motions. It’s been awhile since you’ve been this physical with someone, and it’s almost comical when you both sigh in contentment at the contact.

“I’ve missed this,” you mumble, biting into his shoulder as he thrusts up.

“Mm, it feels different, right?” Jungkook hums, keeping a slow pace. The drag is wonderful, and you know that he’s trying to prolong the moment. He reaches for your head, presses his forehead to yours as he speaks, “you’re mine now, right? For real.”

“I’m all yours, Jungkook,” you press kisses everywhere. No need to hide anymore. You bleed love into every kiss, to his jawline, the little freckles across his chin, his lips. “This is romantic and all, but I really want you to dick me down. Which is why you need to go a little faster, you sap.”

Jungkook scoffs, “A pillow princess is what you are.”

He stops moving, and you two sink further into the mattress without its springs bringing you back up. The both of you are acutely aware of how wet you both are, your combined arousals seeping between your seams and dripping onto Jungkook’s thighs. But the young man simply relaxes against the headboard, baiting you.

“Kook,” you whine, clenching against his member. Your hot walls have a mind of their own, unable to stifle their desire. Sweat lines Jungkook’s brow as he tries his hardest not to move, just simply be.

��Tell me how much you want me, princess,” the pet name has you clenching harder, and you pout.

“Baby,” you whine, leaning forward to whisper in his ear. There’s no one in the room, and you’re sure no one is on this floor because everyone’s on the rooftop, but the words you’re about to say are for Jungkook and Jungkook only, “please, I want you to pound me into this mattress until I can’t walk anymore. I want to cry out your name so everyone can hear I’m yours. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” you nip at his lobe, and let your thumb nick at the simple silver rings that adorn his ear. You hear a click of his teeth, indicating the clench of his jaw as his muscles flex around your body, "I want you to fill me with your cum until I’m eating it, and—and—oh Kook!”

Your words aren’t enough to distract you from his large dick sitting prettily between your folds, and you’re suddenly cumming, all by the mere thought of what’s to happen. You’re shuddering in his arms, and Jungkook soothes you by running his fingers over the spine of your back, distracting you from the utter mess you’re making on the sheets.

“Such a good girl,” Jungkook coddles you, stroking your hair, “can my good girl take it?”

“Y-yes, Kook,” you nod eagerly, fighting the overstimulation as he nudges you off his lap. You’re pliable, as Jungkook sets up the pillows for you to rest comfortably as you get on your elbows and knees, “your good girl.”

You shudder as your bare pussy starts to feel cold, immediately missing the warmth Jungkook can provide. You can practically feel his hot gaze burning in your back, his large palm squeezing your ass as he marvels at how ready and eager you are for him.

“It’s so easy to slip inside,” Jungkook rubs your nectar across the head of his cock, swirling around your engorged skin as he slips right inside. You both moan at the stretch, “Finally, my adorable baby, you like this? You like getting pounded like the dirty girl you really are?”

“Mm, yes!” you squeal, clutching onto the feather down pillows for dear life as Jungkook displays his strength, one hand gripping your hips as the other weaves itself into your hair. It’s a delicious mix of pleasure and pain, and the lewd sounds of each other’s juices and his balls against your ass echoing in the room.

“Y-yeah,” despite his power, his thrusts are sloppy, and you know he’s almost at the edge, “and I like you, so so much. I want to make you cum everyday, make you happy and—mph—” he gives up on talking, focusing entirely on his destination.

“Cum, baby,” you urge, melting when his one hand comes to thread with your own, “fill me up with you.”

He flips you on your back, and you finally see how desperate Jungkook is to cum. His eyes are glassy, filled with emotion as he strokes himself to completion. Your hand reaches up to cup his damp face, and that’s when you feel him loosen. Hot, pearly strings cling to your pussy, decorating your skin in his essence. Your fingers immediately reach down to swirl the cum between your folds, and Jungkook groans at the picture, immediately throwing your hands to the side to kiss you senseless.

There’s so much pouring between the two of you, affection, the feeling of being cherished, so much that you can feel the whole world reducing to the two of you.

“All mine,” he whispers to himself, as if he still can’t believe it. And then, he puts up a poker face as he leans into you, resting his head gently on your breasts, “I knew I only needed a week.”

You narrow your eyes, flicking lightly at his forehead. You’re sticky, sweaty, and covered in cum and while you’re exhausted, the built in jacuzzi in your washroom looks very enticing right now. “Jungkook, this happened naturally. I said we would try as friends first and we did. We just so happened to escalate pretty fast.”

“I don’t think it was that fast,” Jungkook nuzzles his face into your skin, “it’s been two years since college. Being popular did do a number on our relationship, but we caught up."

“You were popular-ish,” you roll your eyes, teasing him. His face falls, and you can’t help yourself. Your hands reach over to cup his cheeks, and you happily squish the supple, pouty flesh. He’s adorable. “Kim Taehyung though? Park Jimin? Absolute heartthrobs I couldn’t stand to be near them—ah!”

Jungkook seems to read your mind, lifting you bridal style to drag you over to the bathroom where the marble jacuzzi sits tauntingly. The stone is ice cold as he brings you both inside, immediately turning on the nozzles to fill it with steaming hot water. You find the tiny bottle of lavender suds, spilling the soap in an arc. His legs slip over yours, cradling you so that your back is pressed against Jungkook’s chest.

“Being popular never mattered,” Jungkook shakes his head, pressing a kiss to your jaw, “I realized the only person who I really needed to notice me was you.”

bonus.

You wake Jungkook up the next morning with your lips wrapped around his cock, fresh cherry balm rubbing down the thick veins until he's cumming down your throat.

"Wow," Jungkook whistles, licking his lips at the sight of you sucking the arousal from your thumb. He huffs against the pillow, eyes darting to the open organza window, letting in the early morning light. The rooftop of a multi-star hotel, white Egyptian cotton seats, a full time job on the way and waking up in the most blissful way possible.

"I have a proposal," you crawl on top of him like a koala, hooking your thighs between his blanket clad body.

"I do," he replies instantly, looking straight at you with droopy puppy eyes.

"Not that kind," you slap his chest, "where are you living once orientation is over?"

"Mm, there's a boarding house near a local translation. It's probably an hour commute? Not too bad."

"So, I just leased a townhouse last month," you bite your lip, tucking your head between his neck to hide your embarrassment, "I was gonna rent out the spare room and put an advert in the paper but…"

"I do."

"I said it isn't a marriage proposal."

"Asking you to live with me is basically a marriage proposal."

"There will be no benefits," you sit up, wagging a finger in his face, "you'll be paying rent and half the utilities. And you will be doing all the laundry."

"Sure," Jungkook replies loftily, squeezing your ass, "you're benefit enough."

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #kwritersworldnet #goldenclosetnet #jungkook fic #jungkook scenario #bts fic

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differentkettleoffishalltogether · 3 years

Text

I’m On Fire [Chapter 1]

Summary: With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

A/N: This is the first part in a series, I’ve written the first few chapters already so I’m hoping to update pretty regularly! I hope you guys enjoy, and any feedback is always appreciated! ❤️

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: None really for this chapter, cursing? Mean-ish Spencer

Word Count: 6.5k

Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

I wasn’t at the BAU long before it started to feel like home. The team became my family, pure and simple.

Having been recruited by Hotch at only 22 I'd sort of fallen into the roll of the little sister to the team without really meaning to. It's not that I was naive, or particularly sheltered even. I know I'm good at my job, and I'd want to be, given how my life's revolved around it almost entirely. But the team seemed to adopt a protective mindset over me right off the bat.

When I first joined the FBI everything was terrifying. I worked so hard for my PhD, trying to get into the unit, but there's almost nothing that can actually prepare you for the real thing. Being out in action in the field, working the cases out in real time. Sometimes they had a smooth, easy conclusion followed by loud obnoxious drinks together. Then there were the others, the ones that kept me up for days after and felt as though they owned little pieces of my heart still.

It was JJ that helped the most on those horrible flights back on the jet. Noticing my anxious ticks and uneasy disposition after that first case that had ended badly. JJ had been through it all before, taking too many cases home with her. Seeing her son's little faces in the kids that we couldn't help. If I was the baby of the team JJ was the big sister, looking out for everyone.

Morgan on the other hand was the outrageously cool older brother, the one you just wanted to be. Early on he'd helped my weak self with the ruthless fitness regimen the FBI required, he offered to pull some strings and get the test written off. But I couldn't accept that, there was something in me that just wanted to impress Morgan, and honestly still does. Like somehow if he thought you were cool, then it became true. So I passed the exam, but getting up a flight of stairs was near impossible for a week after.

Emily was probably the fun aunt. The one that would sneak you booze at the family gathering, or take you to your first concert. Emily was actually the one who'd found me, digging around colleges for potential recruits she'd had me picked out for a while I later found out. Insisting that Hotch give me a shot. It was reassuring to know I had someone who would stick up for me from day one.

I was an tech analyst, among other things, sort of a counterpart for Garcia in the field. So it was no surprise to anyone when the two of us hit it off as though we'd known each other forever. We weren't the same by any means though. Penelope was bold, and bright, and confident beyond measure, where I've typically felt like more of a blend into the background type. I've always thought of myself that way, despite my achievements. I'd also always believed I was fairly inoffensive, no one I'd met had ever had a huge problem with me, 'till I got to the BAU that is.

Every rose has its thorn I suppose.

That thorn in my side was Dr. Spencer Reid.

It wasn't that Dr. Reid was a bad agent, or even a bad person. I hadn't actually met him before that first day in the conference room, but I'd known who he was for a long time. Before I came along he'd held the mantle of 'youngest ever recruit' in the unit, while I was studying I'd read any of his work I could get my hands on because of that fact.

I figured it must've been some sort of hazing when he looked me up and down that first day I was introduced, and then proceeded to blank me entirely for a full week. Up until I'd wrapped my first case.

The whole team went straight from the jet to the bar. Proceeding to get far too drunk. Spencer joined, which the rest of the team found unusual, and I probably should've taken as a sign of things to come.

That case went well, and everyone was in high spirits but Reid had a sour disposition, at least it seemed that way every time he looked at me. After a few too many drinks I went outside in an attempt to sober up in the cold air, unfortunately Reid must've snuck outside not long before.

"Ugh" was all he said when he first caught my silhouette approaching him. The night was unusually cold so it had been deserted outside the bar that evening. I wasn't really sure why it made me nervous to be alone with him like this, the two of us leaning back against the same small area of brick wall, looking out at the cold night.

"Nice to see you too doctor" was all I could muster, I was drunk enough that I let my sarcastic tone leap out, "you can relax, I'm just trying to get some fresh air, it's too stuffy in there, and loud. I'm not here to talk to you or anything."

"Well aren't you a sensitive thing" he responds in kind, at that point I wasn't really sure if it was a coincidence or if he'd been genuinely avoiding me, but things were starting to clear up.

"I'm sensitive, that's a fun take on things" I joke, taking a long sip of cold water from my glass.

"And what's that supposed to mean, newbie?" his emphasis on the last word all but confirms my suspicions.

"Fuck man, what's your problem with me? Is it because I'm new, or because I beat your stupid record?" I quip. hoping that at the very least it might coax him out of his shell. Dr. Spencer Reid getting angry at me could honestly be better than the nothing I'd been experiencing from him until now.

"What stupid record?" he sounds genuinely confused

"I'm the youngest BAU recruit now?" I didn't know why else he could be so sour. He'd never met me before last week, and since he'd ignored me that first day I'd done all I could not to step on his toes. So if he had a reason to hate me this much, it wasn't something I'd done on purpose.

He takes a few moments to respond, raising his eyebrows and considering the information. He chuckles. He fucking chuckles.

"That's funny." he says, his voice leveling out, "I didn't peg you as funny newbie" that word sets something off in me again. Something about it is dismissive, or belittling. Before I could fight back he starts to move, maneuvering around me and heading back inside. A little too tipsy to think of anything constructive to say, I just mutter "Fuck you Spencer."

He swings open the door, as he walks inside he just says "See you Monday, Newbie" without even looking at me.

And that was only the beginning.

----

"You know I'm just trying to make sure you get enough rest sweetheart. There's no need to get so defensive!" it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this call. Since joining the BAU a few years ago this was a standard call from my Mom. Equal parts well meaning and over-bearing, and generally asking far too many questions.

"I'm not getting defensive Mom, I get plenty of rest, my job is just very important to me and you know that." I knew she was right to be at least a little worried, this job was consuming, and in all honesty I wasn't sure how people like JJ were married and still here. It seemed like an impossible feat.

"Fine sweetie, how are your co-workers doing then? How's Penelope? Give her my love" she loved Penelope, I think she thought that Penelope tethered me to the normal world, and in a way she was right. She kept me sane, and fun, and made me eat pizza and do face masks once a week at least. Even when I didn't think I wanted to.

"Pen's great Mom, everyone's good. Well, the usual ones get on my nerves, but I'm fine." As I say it I glance across at Dr. Reid, the only person who's also in as early as I am most days. I'm not sure if he can hear me but he's tapping his pen so loud on his desk that it takes all of my energy not to walk across the bullpen and stab him with it.

"Y'know what Mom, I'm actually just after getting to work and it's a busy day so can I call you back later?" I chance, getting her off the phone is always an ordeal.

"Fine, fine, I'll let you go. But wait one last thing!"

I knew what was coming. It was always coming.

"Are you seeing anyone, Margot's been wondering too, just thought I'd check in?"

Pinching the bridge of my nose and trying not to scream down the line, I just sigh out the frustration instead.

"No Mom, believe it or not, I've made no progress on that front since you asked me all of 3 days ago."

"See you are being defensive!" she snaps

"I gotta go, bye Mom. Love you!" I say, hanging up quickly before dropping my head down into my arms on my desk, resting like that for a few moments in silence.

Hearing Garica chuckle behind my ear I perk up and spin around. She's holding a small paper cup of coffee and hands it to me. I look at it confused, "Sorry about the paper, I couldn't find your mug in the cabinet" she apologizes, looking over at Dr. Reid and rolling her eyes. Now I know he can hear me from his seat, he takes that moment to sip from my mug and place it gently back on his desk.

It hadn't taken long for him to start toying with me. It was always stupid childish things. Things I couldn't get genuinely annoyed at, that would give him far too much satisfaction, knowing he was getting to me in any real way. This was one trick he liked to play if he got into the office before me, he'd take my mug and make his coffee in it, just to spite me I guess.

"Why does he even do that, it's so stale" she said, just a little louder than normal to make sure he could hear. Garcia and Reid were still good friends and team-mates but she liked to stand up for me when she could. He liked to avoid me as much as possible so he'd usually go to Garcia before me if he needed help with something. Even when the two of us were out in the field together. Which was obnoxious but it was just another thing I'd gotten used to over time. And as long as it didn’t interfere with the case I just forced myself to let it go.

"I know it's such low grade bullying isn't it?" I shot back with a chuckle.

"So I'll take it that was Mommy dearest" Penelope gestures to my phone. She knew my Mom, and she knew about her general overbearing energy. I let out a groan thinking about the call again, and the calls that were to come.

"Isn't it always Mommy dearest?" I joke

"So she's still on your ass about the wedding then?" I'm sure Penelope was almost as sick of hearing about it as I was,

"Margot's getting married in like 4 months now, and every time Mom calls there’s just some new hometown loser she wants to set me up with Pen. It's fucking exhausting" I take a sip of the coffee she made me, savoring the bitter taste. She sits down on my desk for a moment, leaning in.

"Honey, did you ever think that if you got out there and found someone, she wouldn't be on your ass at all?" I don't want to think about that, about how she's completely right. All I can do is let out another small groan and lean back down onto my desk.

"Too early Pen" I say, it's muffled by the desk but she gets the message. Hopping up and heading to her own office as some more people start to arrive for the morning.

Leaving me alone to make a start on my paperwork that had built up throughout the week. Fridays were usually slow like this, giving me a little too much time to think. I couldn't shake the thought that my Mom and Penelope were actually right. Maybe I was a bit too invested in the job, and maybe that was a pretty big factor in why my last relationship imploded but I wasn't about to admit that to anyone.

----

After that the day crawls by, thankfully no cases pop up so the weekend might actually be free. Trying to make sure I clear up all of my paperwork takes a little longer than I'd hoped and leaves me alone in the bullpen. It seems like everyone's gone home by the time I've packed up and I'm ready to leave. Which wasn't as out of the ordinary as I'd like it to be really. Everyone else seemed to have somewhere to be on a Friday night.

Waiting for the elevator to arrive my phone started to ring, I could see my Mom's caller ID on the screen. If I just let it go I know she'll call back later, may as well get it out of the way. I take a deep breath in anticipation before I answer.

"Hey what's up?" I answer, stepping inside the elevator as the doors ping open.

"Hi sweetie, I've got good news! Do you remember David? That lovely boy, he helped out your Father that summer in high school?" I know what's coming and rub my temple, trying to stifle the headache I know is coming. As I answer a hand slides between the elevator doors, popping them open again.

Dr. Fucking Reid walks in, and he looks about as happy to see me as I am to see him. I make eye contact and look away just as fast, willing him away with my mind. "Yes Mom, I remember him, why are you telling me this?" I already know the answer but I'm fed up, she still sounds excited when she responds.

"Well you won't believe it! I ran into him at the market this morning and I thought you'd like it if I passed on your phone number to him, maybe for the weddi-" it took all I had not to shout into the receiver, and maybe I would've had the elevator been empty.

"Mom! Jesus!" I have to reign myself in, but I have a bad idea, "You know what, I'm actually sorted. I've got a date lined up now" I'm not sure why I said it with no real plan in place. She sounds even more excited than I've ever heard her.

"Oh my, that's amazing sweetie! That was fast, I can't believe you found one since this morning, it's someone from work so?" she assumes, and I'm just not thinking fast enough to correct her.

"Mmhmm, yeah" I'll figure out the logistics later I rationalize.

"Oh! Is it that boy you're always on about, the one who teases you?" she asks, and her voice is full of joy, and it makes me feel horrible that I'm lying already, and that I'm going to let her down.

"Yup, that's the one, look Mom I gotta go, I'll talk to you later! Night" I blurt out so fast it has to be obvious I'm nervous.

I can hear a stifled chuckle behind me. Fuck. How loud is my phone speaker. Could he hear that. Surely not. But this elevator was completely silent. The doors open and I have to stop myself from running to my car at top speed. Instead I walk out just a little faster than normal, turning around to shoot him a small wave goodbye. And he's got this devious smirk on his face that makes my stomach turn.

Sitting into my car I pull out my phone to text Garcia immediately.

I'm on my way to yours right now. It's urgent.

——

Traffic's light so it takes maybe 10 minutes before I arrive at Garcia's place. My mind's racing and my body takes me there on autopilot. Why did I say any of that, why did I even answer the damn phone. Why did I wave goodbye to Spencer, I never usually did that. Maybe that's why he had that look on his face. Maybe he was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier and it had nothing to do with me at all. That was something he'd do to mess with me for sure.

How was I going to walk this back with my Mom, she was just gonna have more questions that I couldn't answer. Fuck.

Garcia buzzed me up and her door was open for me by the time I got up the stairs. This little purple apartment had become my second home. It was where I spent most of my evenings off, laughing on the same sofa I was collapsing face first into right now. Garcia nestles in beside me and runs her hand over my hair, "Hey sweet pea, what's happening? I don't want to sound too concerned but you're not giving me much to go off? Are you dying, is there drama? You're going to have to tell me what's so urgent before I burst a blood vessel?"

I let out a muffled, "is drahmuh" into the pillow, Garcia shakes my shoulders.

"Sit up babe, damn!" I have to heave myself out of the pillows, sitting upright on the sofa beside her, clutching one of the pillows in my arms.

"It's drama" I repeat,

"Well, out with it then, you know I'll take all the drama I can get! Spill, spill" she rushes me along. I'm already apprehensive, Reid's her coworker too, but if anyone would understand why this was such an issue it was gonna be her.

"Okay, I'm after doing something stupid and I think I really need your advice" I cringe already, thinking back to the elevator, throwing out my words faster, I continue the story, mostly trying to get it over with, "my Mom called again when I was on the way out tonight and she was trying to set me up with this guy, and Reid was there, and I got all flustered, and I told her I had a date already" I throw my head down into the pillow again.

"Wait why was Reid there?" she looks like she's trying to fit puzzle pieces together and she's getting nowhere, "And what's the drama?"

"Shit Garcia, it was in the elevator and it was all quiet, and maybe he heard the call, maybe he didn't but he had this fuckin' look on his stupid face" I can't shake the smug little smirk, it's burned inside my eyelids. Garcia's face falls in what looks like disappointment.

"Ugh Y/N! That's nothing chill out, why does it matter if he heard your call? I know you guys are all weird but none of that is any of his business anyway!" she shoo's her hand in the air, dismissing the whole situation.

"No Garcia, it is his business now" I have to close my eyes when I say it, I can't look at her "I told my Mom that he was my date, well, I didn't say his name or anything, she assumed it was someone from work and so I just agreed, and then she suggested that it was him and then I fucking panicked Pen, I fucked up so bad. What do I do?"

I finally opened my eyes to look up at Garcia. She was sitting in pure silence, pursing her lips in what seemed like contemplation. The puzzle pieces finally slotting together. It's as though a light bulb goes off behind her eyes and she bursts out in fits of laughter. Doubling over on herself before finally taking a few breaths to calm herself down. I'm honestly not sure why she finds the whole thing so funny, she know's how needlessly annoying he's made my life, she's seen it first hand and heard me talk about it over and over again in this very apartment over pizza.

"Garcia, this is not fucking funny! This is serious!" I try to calm her down, I need advice not whatever this is.

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I love you dearly. But this isn't funny, this is hilarious. It's like you're Sandra Bullock in some mid-90's rom com. I love it" I don't love it, in fact I hate it. I nearly snap at her but pull myself back.

"Pen, come on, help me out. What do I do with this, how do I fix it?" I plead.

She stops laughing and pulls out her phone, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm going to order us a pizza, and we're gonna sort this thing out together, sound good?" I just nod and collapse back into the sofa. I think I feel better now that I've gotten it out in the open.

----

Penelope makes us tea while we wait for the pizza, she keeps lemon & ginger in her cabinet for me, just like I keep mint for her. The warm mug and the steam calm me down. After a few minutes alone to think about it I start to figure it out a little better. I figure I can just lie to my Mom for a while, it might suck but I can pretend for a bit and then make up some excuse as to why he can't come closer to the time. Then I can just bring Garcia instead and everyone's happy. I'm about to float my plan to her there's a knock on her door. I was so caught up that I hadn't really noticed quite how starving I'd gotten. Leaping up of the sofa to grab the door.

I swing it open but it's not the pizza guy. Somehow it's the opposite of the pizza guy, my worst nightmare is on the other side of the door. He must notice my eyes blow completely wide. "Y/N!" he says, more of a statement than a question really, like he's telling himself that he's actually seeing me in the doorway. I'm not as gentle.

"What the fuck are you doing here Reid?!" I can't even disguise my anger. He seems a little flustered, like he's got absolutely no idea how to proceed.

"Um, uh, is Garcia here? I can, um, I can just come back later?" he swallows hard and shakes his head, before I can agree and tell him to get lost Penelope races to the door, pulling it wide open.

"Nope, that won't be necessary Doctor! Come on in, you're right on time sweetheart" she waves him in and he walks past me, his demeanor changing almost instantly. He's smug, like he's won whatever battle this was. And I hate it. Though he's still as confused as me despite the newfound attitude. Reid sits down on the sofa, right where I had been sitting. I bite my tongue and sit on the opposite end.

"Are you okay Garcia?" he asks with a genuine concern, "What's going on, what was the emergency?". He's not stupid, he knows she's not in danger now that he's here. But he wants answers. I don't know that I've ever seen him this confrontational with anyone, well anyone but me. The entire time I’m staring her down as she sits in the armchair opposite the two of us. My keys are in my pocket and my car's right outside. I could just jump up and make a break for it. Escape.

"You know what Doc, you won't believe it but I'm not actually the one with the emergency" she takes a beat, and I'm starting to think that I might understand why people murder other people after all these years, "Y/N has something urgent she needs to talk to you about" she's silent for another moment, and she almost looks giddy, "Actually Spencer, you might already know a little something about the matter already, now that I think about it" she smirks, and it's pure joy.

My keys are in my hand ready to bolt when the doorbell chimes again. "Oh, that'll actually be the pizza this time, if you two will excuse me" she hops up out of the armchair and races to the door, leaving the two of us alone in a horrible silence. The tension is almost too much, I want to speak but I really have no idea what to say, or how to even start saying it. But he starts.

"Y/N what's going on, I feel like I'm out of the loop here? What am I missing?" he asks, and there's something uncharacteristically genuine about the way he says it, but he can't turn to look at me as he speaks. I almost want to let my guard down and just have a conversation but I can’t force myself to do it. "Shut up Reid." is all I mutter, folding my arms across my chest.

He turns sharply on the sofa to face me. "Hey Y/N. Believe it or not I'm about as happy as you with whatever kind of Parent Trap situation Garcia's got going on here. But from what I'm picking up on you've got a problem and I'm supposed to be able to help with it. So do you want to tell me what's going on or not? I can just go?" I can see that there's an anger bubbling right below the surface, threatening to burst. I know I shouldn't but I let him stew in silence for a little too long and he jumps up off the sofa.

"Y'know what, typical" he mutters, rolling his eyes as he says it, "this is all about you." he throws his bag over his shoulders and begins to walk towards the door. Something in me just snaps.

"All about me?! Are you fucking kidding? I've been tip-toeing around you for years, ever since I joined this damn unit!" I shout as Garcia comes back into the room, pizza box and plates in her hands.

"So, who's hungry?" Garcia asks, trying to break the tension, or pretending there's no tension at all. Reid shakes his head in disbelief and rubs his temple before he speaks again, "Actually I was just gonna head out" he gestures to the door, "I'm clearly not wanted here so I'm gonna leave you guys to it." Spencer makes a move to leave but Garcia grabs the strap of his shoulder bag, yanking him back ever so slightly before he really has the chance to escape.

"You are going absolutely nowhere kid" She points back to the sofa, "get back there" she glances to me, staring with far too much intensity. "You too, sit." Her voice is more stern than I've ever heard it, even while we were on a case. I can't help but obey her command and I sit back down on the sofa in silence. Followed by Reid, clearly processing the same uneasy feeling of a serious Penelope.

She sits opposite the two of us again. "Y/N, Spencer, I love the two of you with all of my heart, albeit separately, and I would die for either one of you. But you've got to chill the hell out!" she says it like she's had it bottled up forever. The tension that releases from her as she says it looks euphoric.

She opens up the pizza box and lays it on the coffee table and takes out a slice for herself. Taking a bite she leaves the two of us in stunned silence. Once she finishes the mouthful she turns to me specifically, "Y/N you tell him, or I will." dead serious. And the feeling in my belly is like I've just fallen down an elevator shaft.

My stomach is in knots as I turn to Spencer on the sofa next to me. His face is puzzled and I think I might be able to make out pure terror in his expression. I don't know that I've ever been looked at like this before and my stomach screws up tighter. I have to take a deep breath and I can't believe I'm about to say it. "Fuck it" I have to take another breath almost immediately so I just have to force the rest out, "I don't know if you heard the call I was on while we were in the elevator earlier?" I look up to gauge his reaction and I can see his face relax, and worse than that, one corner of his mouth lifts into a sort of smile. It's a look of pure smug satisfaction and I think I might scream. I have to close my eyes because I really don't think I can look at that face as I say the next part.

"My sister is getting married in a few months and my Mom's been on my ass to find a date for the wedding and she keeps trying to set me up with these losers, so I fucking panicked, and I told her you were my date." by the time the sentence is out my eyes have screwed up so tight it feels like I have to pry them open.

He sits in silence for too long. Thinking, maybe?

"So I'm the boy who teases you then?" he grins. So he did hear. And he did laugh. He looks far too self satisfied. Now he knows he's right. He knows I've talked to my Mom about him, that he's gotten in my head. I can tell from his smile that he's savoring the moment. Mostly because I can't slap the smug smile off his face I drop my head into my hands. In an effort to disappear I guess.

"So," he says, taking a moment, "is that all you wanted to say then?" he asks, lighthearted and obnoxious, back to his usual self. I snap back to reality, shooting my head back up.

"What do you mean is that all?" I throw back genuinely shocked,

"Is that all you had to say Y/N? Can I go now? It's a long bus ride home y'know" he smirks but makes no effort to move. He can't possibly be making me do this.

"Well no, obviously!" I stutter, "I mean, are you, will you, uh?" I can't bring myself to say it out loud. He leans in on the sofa looking directly at me, refusing to break eye contact.

"Did you have something you wanted to ask me Y/N?" I just want to smack that fucking look off his face,

"Fuck you Spencer Reid" I almost whisper under my breath, but Garcia snaps me back to reality.

"Hey!" she looks at me, stern again, "Ask him." it's not a question, or a suggestion, it's a command.

"Fine okay" I scrunch my eyes up again, "Will you come to my sisters wedding with me as my fake boyfriend?" I curl up into myself as I say it, I can almost feel the bile rising up from my stomach. Like I'm having a biological reaction to the whole thing.

Reid crosses his arms and sinks back on the sofa, like he's performing the act of thinking. He's considering my offer to make me squirm.

When he finally speaks he says "Well I would Y/N, but I really fail to see what's in it for me" he's after getting cocky now.

Garcia pipes up, excited, "Oh, Oh! I know! I have an idea!" she interjects, "Spencer remember how a while ago, back after your apartment flooded you were all all worried about your antique books and prints and stuff?" he nods, "Well Y/N could digitize the collection for you as a back up? I know you're a technophobe? C'mon Y/N, you know you could do that no sweat, and it would take you a lifetime alone Spencer?" I really don't want to admit it but she's right. Even I knew Reid was adverse to any technology that wasn't vital, but it was your specialty. And maybe that was a good trade off, a job like that would be near impossible for him to pull off without help. I take a glance over at Reid and he seems to have had the same train of thought as me. He lets out an exaggerated sigh and relaxes his posture.

"Fine, I guess that's a fair trade. I'm in." he resigns and I almost can't believe it. I'm barely processing the whole conversation as he sticks his hand out to me, I'm confused for a second before I grab it and shake it firmly. Condemning myself to whatever's about to happen. And it's not the time to be thinking about it but maybe this is the first time Spencer and I have ever touched? But I shove that thought away.

Garcia's positively beaming and she's not even trying to hide it. "Now it's like you're both in a Sandra Bullock movie, oh, but you're Hugh Grant maybe?" she points to Reid.

"Don't push it" I shoot in her direction, taking a slice of pizza, now that my anxiety stomach has sort of passed.

Once the pizza's been eaten in near completely awkward silence Spencer stands up off the sofa. His unsure demeanor has returned and he looks nervous. "I actually should get going this time" he says but Garcia pipes up to protest,

"No, it's not even late!"

"It takes me a while to get back home, thank you though Pen. For... this?" he gestures to the whole living room, "Night" he waves. He's almost made it to the door before I stand up out of my seat. I'm not really sure what comes over me, maybe it's gratitude, maybe it's guilt, or maybe I'm just exhausted.

"Wait Spencer. Let me give you a ride home?" I ask and it's like it's not even me saying it .

"Thanks, but I think I can make it home just fine" he dismisses, and there’s an antagonizing tone in his voice that snaps me right back to our usual rapport.

"I'm trying to do a nice thing here, fuck! Just let me do something nice!" I snap, and he throws his arms up in surrender.

"Fine alright, if it'll make you feel better"

"Fuck you Reid" I mutter under my breath and I sort of hope that he does hear me really. If he's gonna be hostile about this I can be too. I give Garcia a hug goodbye but I'm going to scold her for this whole thing later.

----

I lead the way outside and climb into my car, Spencer hops into the passenger seat and it feels as strange as always to be alone with him. Especially because it's not an accident, and it's not in work. Maybe this was a horrible idea. He seems like he's unwilling to break the silence, so I just get it over with.

"Where the hell do you live man? I'm gonna need directions." I say, as deadpan as I can muster, which probably isn't all that intimidating.

"Sorry, yeah, so you're gonna want to turn on the ignition" he teases. I definitely wasn't intimidating enough.

"Don't push it" I say, turning to give him a cruel stare, he just reacts with a smirk, that same one from the elevator earlier.

"Oh, I'm pushing it?" he asks, feigning disbelief

"I'll kick you out of this damn car" is all I can think to say. He barely responds, he just lets out a soft chuckle. I want to ask 'what's so funny' but he speaks before I can get the words out.

"I can't believe you talk to your Mom about me" he continues to laugh. That's enough.

"You know what Reid, of course I have! I work with actual murderers on a daily basis and somehow you've been the only real source of friction in my life since I joined the BAU!" He stops giggling a little, but not entirely, he looks like he's making an effort to contain himself.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just never knew I got to you like that" he still finds the whole thing amusing, but I sure as hell don't.

"Directions, now" I demand, looking straight out the front windshield.

"Fine, keep going straight on this road for a while and I'll tell you when to turn" he says, finally playing nice.

The two of us drive silently for most of the journey, the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually we arrive outside his building, and it's nicer than I thought it would be. But I have no idea what I was really basing that on. For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that Dr. Reid lived in an actual home, I had pictured him sleeping upside down in a cave maybe, or in a cryogenic chamber with all the other life-like genius robots.

"So," he says, breaking the silence, "When is this wedding?"

"4 months from now, in and around" I respond, matter of factly. Spencer nods, taking it in.

"Alright, so I've got 4 months, in and around, to learn enough to convincingly pass as your loving boyfriend. Doesn't sound so difficult." he jokes, his tone harsh and sarcastic.

"Look Spencer, I know this is insane and honestly kind of stupid. But in all seriousness, you can back out right now if you're not on board with whatever this is. I'm telling you this is the last exit ramp." I try to say it with sincerity, giving him a genuine out if he's not comfortable with the weird set-up that Penelope pulled on us both. He thinks on it for a moment and shakes his head.

"So how are we gonna do this?" he asks, and I really thought he was going to back out. So I don't have an actual answer.

"Well, I uh, I haven't really given a plan much thought. How about I come over and start working on some of the stuff you want digitized like Garcia mentioned and I can use the time to give you the footnotes on my life?" I suggest, at least that would make it easier to knock things out all at once. Rather than having to spend even more of my free time with Reid than necessary. He looks content with the improvised plan.

"Alright, sounds good." he undoes his seatbelt and opens the door to hop out of the car before turning back to me, "Are you coming inside or what?"

— —

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sarija · 3 years

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@expectingtofly @starrynightdeancas

Here's my first ever written fanfic as a gift for @expectingtofly who never received her original gift from starrynightdeancas gift exchange. Enjoy 🙂

Words: 3657

Notes at the end of this post!

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“So I guess the question is,” Bobby asks, “What're ya gonna do now, Dean?”

Dean looks at baby, considering. He smiles back at Bobby and answers, “Well, I gotta go for a drive.”

After about ten miles, Dean pulls over. There's a lookout just a few steps from the road, and he follows the trail to the end, feeling overwhelmed by the info Bobby has given him. Cas is here. He helped Jack rebuilding Heaven. He remembers the last time he'd seen Cas. He would have given everything to see him again, to get him back, but all the efforts he and Sam had tried on Earth were useless. Now, there's a good chance he might see Cas again and he has no idea what to say to him.

At this moment, he feels the presence of someone beside him. Anxiously he turns around. For a moment, he hopes to see Cas, but instead, it's Jack and a warm feeling of relief washes over him. He doesn't know if he's ready just yet.

“Jack!” He exclaims, pulling Jack into a tight hug. “It's so good to see you, kid!”

Jack hugs him back, clapping him on the back before freeing himself. “Hey, Dean. It's good to see you too. I'm sorry I couldn't intervene...but I'm glad you are here.” Dean just shakes his head.

“You know, kid, Sam and I had an agreement of going down smashing, and this I did. I … I have no resentments over this.”

Jack offers him a short nod before saying, “Dean, I think there's someone who wants to see you. Are you ready?”

Dean then notices a figure standing way back, beside one of the bushes. He is ready. He has to be. He's been waiting so long to see him again, he can't even believe that he doubted he was ready in the first place. Dean swallows back a big lump in his throat. He walks a few steps. There he is. Just beside a big flowerbed, bees humming around busily, Dean sees him standing in the glow of the setting sun. He lets his eyes wander from the well-known boots upwards, over the hem of this trenchcoat he missed so damn much. The coat is glistening in the sunlight, it looks like it's giving off a light of itself. Over the blue tie, upwards, over the 5-o'clock beard, then those soft lips, further to these warm and blue eyes, deep like the ocean, light as a cloudless sky. And Cas is looking back at him, wondering, tilting his head just a little, the way he always did, back then when they were on Earth. Dean doesn't feel the single tear running down his cheek, he doesn't see Jack looking happily at him, he can only see Cas, standing there in the sun, looking like the most beautiful being he's ever seen in his whole life. Cas, his friend, his family, his angel and most importantly – the love of his life.

He steps forward slowly, afraid that this is just a dream, one of those damned dreams he's had over the weeks after Cas had been gone, had thrown himself into the Empty. In his dreams, Cas was there, waiting for him, but all of a sudden, he'd be gone, swallowed up by a big nothingness, or bursting out in flames and screaming in pain, or saying 'I love you, Dean' but retreating while Dean wanted to get to him, to hug him, to hold him, until his angel was gone and away.

But Cas is still there, smiling now, looking at Dean with his amazingly blue eyes. He lifts his hands and whispers “Dean” and Dean can't keep it any longer. He takes the last steps in a few fast strides and falls into Cas' arms, pulling him into a tight hug and crying silent tears onto his shoulder. Cas starts stroking his hair, softly, hushing and repeating all over “It's okay, Dean” until they both break apart. Dean doesn't want to let go of Cas, he holds his arms, looks at him over and over, but he can't find the words to describe how much this means to him. So he just stands there, breathing heavily, watching him, until he feels Cas' hand upon his cheeks, wiping away the tears on Dean's face. And all of a sudden, Dean knows there's no need to hold anything back anymore, there's no need to hide anything, because there's nothing here to threaten them. Nothing is going to take Cas away ever again.

Dean swallows, clears his throat.

“Cas... I …You ... How?” is all he manages.

Cas shakes his head. “I'll tell you later. We've got all the time in the world now.” He looks at Jack, who is still standing a little way behind them, smiling. “Now, who wants to have some dinner?”

They take the Impala to drive to Cas' place. While Dean is driving, he's absurdly aware of Cas sitting beside him in the passenger's seat. He even feels the intensity of Cas' eyes upon him, until he finally blurts out, “Hey buddy, it's good to see you too but – could you please stop staring at me? I'm not a freak show, y'know?” At that, Jack snorts loudly in the back, clapping Dean on his shoulder. He doesn't say anything else, but Dean knows that he's enjoying this moment as much as he is. He sends a small smile to Jack and Cas, but Cas has turned his face away from him, looking out of the window instead, chin in his hand. For a moment, Dean worries if his words had hurt the angel. This would be the last thing he'd want to do, especially on the first day of meeting him again. He wonders if he should say something, anything, to make sure everything's fine. But what should he say? Tell him he didn't mean it? He never was a man of apologies, and Cas knows that. He just wanted him to look away, cause his staring was so freaking distracting. He wants to return his gaze, he wants to never stop looking into those amazing eyes, eyes that had seen so much, eyes that had looked so worried at times, Dean almost couldn't even bare it. He wants Cas to be happy, to smile, to forget the bad stuff he'd lived through. And now he'd said something that hurt him. Why was it so hard to just take it back? He never knew, cause right at this moment Jack spoke up.

“It's the light blue house over there, Dean. Just drive up to the front, there's a parking spot for you beside Cas' car.”

Dean drives as being told, parking beside a yellow-brown-ish '78 Lincoln Continental. He recognizes it instantly, it's the same car Cas had been using whenever he wanted to get something done on his own, and Cas had always seemed pretty fond of it. It brings back a lot of memories and Dean starts smiling involuntary.

They get out of Dean's car and step up the front porch. Cas takes the lead, opening the white door for them, welcoming both into his home. Dean risks a quick glance at him before entering. Cas doesn't seem to be hurt anymore, he looks pleased and happy. And Dean thinks he understands why.

Dean enters the hallway, looking around and taking in as many details as he can. There is a kitchen to his right, with wooden fronts and very clean. Right ahead there's an arc, decorated with roses in different colours – red, white, yellow, lilac and pale blue. They are rooted in two pink flower pots, one on either side of the arc. To his left are two wooden doors. He guesses that one would probably lead to the bathroom, the other one he's got no idea. They walk through the arc, entering a really big living room, bright and clear. The windows here let the sun warm up the room just enough to feel right, and the light-colored furniture reflects rays of sunshine without blinding them. 'It's perfect', Dean thinks to himself, wondering where Cas got those pictures of them and Sam in the bunker. One of the photos shows them with their hands on one another's shoulders, smiling into the camera. Dean can see his own forced smile, dark circles under wary looking eyes. He takes the photograph of it's shelf, looking at him, Cas and Sam. Sammy. He's looking back at him out of the picture, smiling and waving and looking contend and happy.

“Dean.”

He forces himself to put the photo back on the shelf and turns around to see Cas standing in the doorway.

“You know, he's not a freak show,” Cas mimics, but Dean can see he's worried.

“Thanks, Cas. I know. It's just … I hope he's alright, I hope he's living a good life down there, but -”

“You miss him.” Cas finishes. It's not a question, it's a statement.

“Yeah, man,” is all he can answer. He turns around to wipe at something in his eyes, then turns again and asks, “When will we be eating?”

“In a few minutes. We're waiting for … someone to arrive here, it won't be much longer now.”

Just as Cas finishes his sentence, they hear a soft knock on the door and someone entering the house.

“Who is this?” Dean asks, but Cas is already on his way to the kitchen and Dean just follows.

–

Dean still can't believe it. He just finished his second helping of T-Bone-Steak, mashed potatoes and fried rice, everything as delicious as he'd hoped for (he'd left out the vegetables). His stomach is full and he leans back really satisfied. This is amazing. He hadn't given a thought to the fact that now that he was in Heaven, he might meet his mom and dad again. Seeing all of them on this table in Cas' dining room – Mary and John, Cas, Jack and Bobby – laughing, eating, smiling, talking about things they did 'down there' and things to do 'up here', it was unbelievable. Dean watches all of them closely. They look so full of joy he can't help grinning like an idiot. His mom is laughing hard from a joke of John and Dean enjoys to see her relaxed and free of worries. His dad claps her on the back, then starts to stroke her gently. He too looks unstressed, there's no trace of the old, haunted John in his face anymore. Even Bobby, though still being his grumpy self, seems pleased.

“Alright, Dean, I think it's time for a little storytime.” Cas watches him intently as he explains, “I think you wanted to know how I could escape The Empty and start my new life here.”

All eyes are upon Cas now. Mary puts the plates away, coming back with two six-packs of beer. She hands everyone a beer and Cas starts talking.

“As most of you know, I went with The Empty willingly, keeping my side of the deal we had made way back. Several months ago, there was a problem at hand. The Empty wanted to keep Jack. I told her to take me instead of him and she agreed to that but wanted to be sure to crush me. So she told me that she wouldn't just swap - she'd come and get me as soon as I would be truly happy. And that she did. When we talked, Dean, I had made a choice”. At this, Cas sends him the slightest smile, which makes Dean want to forgive him in an instant. “Well, as you know, this choice led to me being taken by that bitch. For a while, I lay there in nothingness, black nothing all around me, and I hoped to fall asleep, which I knew was sure to happen to everyone The Empty had swallowed. But not me. She wouldn't let me sleep because I had been an inconvenience to her. She wouldn't visit me either. I lay there until I couldn't lie anymore, I sat there for hours and hours, and finally, I stood up. There was no way to give up this easy, The Empty couldn't be invincible, right?” They all nod, fascinated by his story. Jack even has his eyes closed. Another big gulp of beer, then Cas goes on. “So I wandered around, screaming and trying to punch the Nothingness. I called her a lot of stuff just to get her attention, but it was useless. In the end, I stumbled and fell on my knees and was none-the-wiser. But that was the moment I realized it. There was nothing to be done for me alone. But there was someone who had already conquered The Empty, who had woken me up last time, who would maybe be able to do something about my situation. And even though I didn't want to involve him, I saw no other choice. So I prayed. And I was answered.”

“But I prayed too, why did I never get an answer?” Dean sputters out. Instantly, he feels the heat of shame crawling up his neck, but he still locks eyes with Jack, who has finally opened them.

“I heard you, Dean. And I am very sorry. I knew this would disappoint you, but there was no way for me to interfere down there anymore. I couldn't answer, because I couldn't bear to tell you. I am sorry.” Dean swallows hard, then Jack continues, “Then I heard Castiel. And I realized that I wasn't about to interfere down there – but The Empty was not down there, and there were several changes to be made, changes that were overdue.

I gathered up all the strength I could master. I summoned those around me who were willing to help. Gabriel was the first to respond. It might not surprise you that he had taken advantage of everyone assuming him dead, submerging into the benefits of a random gambler's life outside the radar. Yet when I called out to ask the help of every angel available, he immediately came to my side to be of assistance.

Michael was second to answer my call. He asked a lot of questions, wondering if he could trust me. He was hardest to convince – but wanted The Empty gone as much as I did. So he stayed and helped.

Most of the other living angels came to stand with us, but we still weren't enough. So I started to wake up the deceased. This was rather dangerous, as I didn't want The Empty to know something was up too soon. But Cas here did a great job – when I had awoken an angel, he'd find him and explain the matter, trying to be as quiet as possible. Once we had gathered quite a number of angels, they took their positions, waiting for my command. First step was to lure The Empty out of her hiding place. Hannah, Anna, Gadreel and Joshua did a great job with that! They annoyed her one after the other, to the point she wanted to throw them all out. Next step was to surround and distract her. So everyone did their best to get her attention, circling her in further. Then the tricky part started. While the inside angels surrounded her, kept her encircled and disturbed, enraging her further to keep her at that spot, we on the outside started to open up a crack, getting others out of there. Gabriel took an essential part here, building up an illusion to cover our crack. As soon as we had Jane and Raphael, I knew it was time to finish it, because the inside angels were taking hit after hit.

With the help of Michael, Gabriel, Raphael and Jane, I managed to take hold of The Empty. Like Chuck did with Amara, we cast her out, chaining her up in the same lonely dimension Amara had once been held in. Michael sacrificed his powers to bear the new Mark that still was needed to have her caged.”

Jack pauses for a moment, takes a sip from his beer and watches the others. Mary and John are holding hands on the table, switching short glances now and then. Bobby looks like he's fallen asleep already, beer still clutched in his hand. Castiel seems to be entranced by Jack's story, elbows on the table, chin resting on his folded hands. A small smile playes on his lips and Dean notices how beautiful Cas' face looks when being relaxed. He doesn't know if he's even allowed to think this way, but he can't help it. He tries to focus on the story again.

“So, you cast her out. I guess the angels on the inside got out – seeing as Cas is here. But what about the other creatures this thing had held for an eternity?”

“Yes, that.” Jack answered, nodding. “I assumed it would be no good to send them all with The Empty. Instead, Jane and me enlarged the Purgatory, sent every monstrous creature down there and asked Rowena to magnify the intensity of their 'door'. In return she'd get the demon souls sent to Hell, and she willingly agreed to that.”

“Great.” Dean states, “more demons for her, no big deal.”

“Dean,” Cas whispers, obviously annoyed by this interruption.

“I don't like the idea of giving her more power, alright? It's no good. Rowena will use this somehow to do something bad, you know her, Cas!”

“Yes, Dean, I do know her. That's why Jack is keeping an eye on things. I thought you'd be happy to know that we all are safe now. I thought you'd be happy to see … me.”

All eyes are on Dean now, which makes him shift in his seat, feeling pretty uncomfortable.

“Man, you know I'm happy about … this all. I'm just wondering what this means for those left on Earth.”

“You mean Sam.”

Dean nods, not sure if he's able to answer right now.

Jack jumps in. “Don't worry, Dean. He's safe. I am sure of it – I can see it. Please believe me that no harm will come upon him as long as I'm here.”

This really does reassure him and he takes a big swig of his beer. He nods, satisfied for now. Then another thought comes to him.

“What about the angels you saved from The Empty? What exactly happened to them?”

“Oh, that's easy. Every deceased angel got a second chance. I made sure their loyalties were with me, then I sent them to work. There's a lot to do up here, and most angels are glad to be able to help. Michael is an exception though. As I said, he's had to sacrifice his powers to bear the new Mark, so he's powerless now. He's in hiding ...” Jake grins, “but I think … he'll bee alright.

With The Empty being gone, there were new rules to administer. Every monstrous creature – minus the demons - that dies from now on will find himself in purgatory. Demons that die will find themselves in Hell, but powerless. Rowena told me she's got some 'lovely tasks' for them. And every angel that meets his end will come back up here, being powerless but having a place to call home.”

Home. Dean looks around, taking in this wonderful place that Cas can now call his home. He loves this idea, and he feels quiet content with knowing all this.

After this, they switch the topic to easier stuff. Their conversation is light now, mostly about stuff to do in Mary's and John's house, like fixing a little hole in their roof, or repainting their furniture. John even asks if Dean would help him restore a '64 Ford Falcon and Dean eagerly agrees to be there tomorrow. But after a while of talking about the ups and downs of this special car, Mary stifles a wide yawn and John laughs. “It's time I guess! Thank you for this wonderful dinner and a great evening guys. Guess we'll see each other next week?”

“Same time, same place,” Cas answers grinning. “See you tomorrow, Dean,” John says and pulls him into a tight hug. Mary ruffles through his hair before hugging him, then she too says good-bye. Jack wakes up Bobby, half-pulling him out of his chair and tells him that it's time to get home. Bobby grunts, gives Dean a nod, and walks out the front door without another word, probably too tired to speak. Last to say goodnight is Jack, and he pulls both Dean and Cas into a big hug. They clap his back, and Dean thinks he can hear Cas whisper 'I'm proud of you' into Jack's ear. They all say good-night, then Jack is gone too. Closing the door behind Jack, Cas turns around to Dean, watches him closely, a slight pink shade on his cheeks.

“There's a guest room down the hall if you want to...” he leaves his sentence unfinished, but Dean understands.

He looks Cas in the eyes, feeling his heart suddenly hammering against his chest. There were words he wanted to say, but he doesn't remember. He's surprised – all those years down there, he had to hold everything back, and he has no fucking idea how he did that. Cas' eyes are still watching him, asking silent questions. Throwing cautions in the wind, Dean finally closes the distance and pulls Cas into a gentle kiss, hands on his cheeks. After a moment of surprise, Cas kisses him back, his lips soft and warm, and lays his hands around Deans waist. Their kiss seems to take an eternity, Dean has no feeling of time anymore, he just feels Cas' lips on his, and he knows that this is his happy place. His peace. His... he allows himself to think the word – his home.

Notes:

This fic is a gift for @expectingtofly on tumblr as part of the starrynightdeancas gift exchange. It's my first-ever written fanfic and I'd love to know what you think about it! I had a lot of fun writing this, creating my own kind of fix-it fiction. Also, I tried to stay canonical – with one exception, because I will never accept that the trickster was truly finished off!

Please note that I’m not a native speaker and there might be some spelling and grammar mistakes. I’m sorry! But I hope you’ll enjoy it nonetheless.

Have fun reading and leave a comment if you like <3

Not yet posted on AO3, still waiting for my invitation. I’ll have you updated as soon as I can post it there!

#starrynightdeancas gift exchange #first fanfic #destiel #destiel is canon #canonverse #Also non-canonverse cause I don't believe in your reality #Fluff #Sappy #POV Dean Winchester #Gabriel's alive in my reality

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vivithefolle · 3 years

Note

I just wanna ask, and don’t get mad at me cause I’m genuinely curious, how do you stan Ron? Like, I like him, but he is definitely misogynistic (slut shaming Ginny, treating hermione like she owes him something and being mad that she kissed someone years before, always objectifying Fleur, and acting like girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much). Like, by DH I feel like he definitely has mostly grown out of it, but still 6/7 books he’s kinda unbearable IMO

how do you stan Ron?

Like this:

OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM DID YOU SEE MY BABY OH MY GOD. WHEN HARRY’S ARM HAD GONE KABLOOIE BECAUSE OF LOCKHART AND HE. RON. HE WAS. HELPING HIM GET DRESSED???? OH MY GOD BABY???? HHHHNNNNGGGG. AND. AND. AND ALSO WHEN HE. OMG. WHEN HE WAS PUTTING FOOD ON HIS FRIENDS’ PLATES LIKE. MOM FRIEND ALERT MOM FRIEND ALERT MOM FRIEND ALERT. AND THE WAY HE’S ALWAYS BLUSHING AND BEING EMBARRASSED AT THE SLIGHTEST PRAISE BUT ALSO HE’S SO DESPERATELY SEEKING IT BUT HE KNOWS HE CAN’T TAKE IT AND EEK EEK EEK THAT’S SO CUTE SOMEONE HOLD ME IT’S ADORABLE RONALD WEASLEY YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME IT’S ILLEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE!!!!

Ok and then.

he is definitely misogynistic

No. And here’s why.

slut shaming Ginny

Yes, that was wrong. And guess what, that’s also something he probably - scratch that, definitely - picked up from his mother. And also his brothers, recall how Fred and George too don’t like to see Ginny go around with boys. There’s also something to recall: Ron was there when Ginny was taken into the Chamber of Secrets and learned later that it was because she had trusted an older guy. You seriously wouldn’t be paranoid about who your sister dates after that? It was wrong. Yeah. And he more than learned his lesson when Ginny clapped back by virgin-shaming him and basically told him that he was childish because he hadn’t have a relationship yet. So would that make Ginny sexist too? Or is it just for Ron?

treating hermione like she owes him something

..................... uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh... when? When the fuck did anything like that happen?

He made a prat of himself at the Yule Ball, that much is obvious. But he didn’t tell her anything like “you should be with me” or didn’t insinuate anything of the sort. He was a jealous bitch but kept attacking Krum, not Hermione.

If you mean in sixth year when he treated her with “icy, sneering indifference” for the course of two weeks, yeah that was bad but that’s not “treating her like she owes him something”, the fuck?

being mad that she kissed someone years before

Yeah. I know. And that was bad, ooooh you got me to admit Ron did bad stuff, that’s what you want to see, right? And I reckon he was also mad that she hid it from him, and that he had to learn it from his sister of all people. We see Ron handles what he considers betrayals terribly. I have some meta discussing the possibility that he has a form of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

always objectifying Fleur

Um... no, he doesn’t. He makes a stupid comment about her once in GOF then stops. Let’s also fucking remember that Fleur is a Veela, she literally makes guys stare at her as part of her powers!! I’m not blaming her because she’s literally born that way, but you can’t blame someone who is under magical compulsion either.

acting like girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much

So tell me why he was friends with Hermione then?

Because Hermione wasn’t Emma Watson the super hawt sexy model goddess. Hermione was Mrs Generic. Until this once at the Yule Ball when she got the pretty princess perfect Mary Sue makeover but then stopped because she had to remain ~relatable uwu~.

Again. Ron made stupid sexist comments. But it’s actively shown that he doesn’t follow up on them. If he did indeed live by the motto “girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much”, explain to me why he wasn’t simping and drooling all over Padma Patil who is explicitly stated to be one of the prettiest girls at school when she was his date? Why exactly did he ignore her and was a miserable twat the whole evening instead of basking in the joy of having snagging a girl that was “worth it”? Well surprise, it’s because HE ACTUALLY ISN’T LIKE THAT AND WHAT HE SAYS IS MAYBE SHIT HIS “COOL OLDER BROTHERS” SAY AND HE THINKS THAT BY EXTENSION IT WOULD MAKE HIM COOL TO REPEAT IT. MIMETISM, THAT'S BASIC FUCKING HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY FOR FUCKING TODDLERS MY FUCKING GOD.

Like, by DH I feel like he definitely has mostly grown out of it,

............

...................................

...............................................................

so. so why. so why wouldn’t you. use that. as a reason. to stan him.

like.

fuck all the “hurr durr ron weasley the boy who made it out of the friendzone!!!!” bullshit, let’s start going with “Ron Weasley, the Boy who became a Man, and not one of those 'uugghh im such an alpha male’ ones but one that’s got the balls to say ‘hey love, I’ve got an idea, what if you kept doing that job you love and feel passionate about while I support you and do the majority of the childcare while also working a smaller job on the side so we’re never short on money’“

Why you people gotta be “yeah I like Ron BUTT” when you know full-well this fucking awful fandom will rake him over hot coals over the slightest mistake he does - worse, will actively go out of their way to interpret his positive moments in the most negative way possible??? Fuck off with that bullshit. Ron dared to say bad stuff omygah big deal, he was forgiven for it all and you’re just all cowards looking to feel “pure” by telling yourself “oh yeah but he was problematic once uwu”. FUCK. THAT. NOISE.

but still 6/7 books he’s kinda unbearable IMO

And IMO he’s not, funny how that works

So.

I guess it’s impossible to stan Ron because he was problematic uwu.

Ok.

Then I hereby decree that it’s impossible to stan Hermione Granger because:

“I’ll bet you wish you hadn’t given up Divination now, don’t you, Hermione?” asked Parvati, smirking. [...] “Not really,” said Hermione indifferently, who was reading the Daily Prophet. “I’ve never really liked horses.” She turned a page of the newspaper, scanning its columns. “He’s not a horse, he’s a centaur!” said Lavender, sounding shocked. “A gorgeous centaur . . .” sighed Parvati. “Either way, he’s still got four legs,” said Hermione coolly. “Any-way, I thought you two were all upset that Trelawney had gone?” - Order of the Phoenix, ch 27

wow casual use of a racial slur yay!!! A+

And it’s also forbidden to stan Harry Potter either since:

It was raining hard now, and she was nowhere to be seen. He simply did not understand what had happened; half an hour ago they had been getting along fine. “Women!” he muttered angrily, sloshing down the rain-washed street with his hands in his pockets. “What did she want to talk about Cedric for anyway? Why does she always want to drag up a subject that makes her act like a human hosepipe?” - Order of the Phoenix, ch 25

and

“Harry! There you are, thank goodness! Hi, Luna!” “What’s happened to you?” asked Harry, for Hermione looked distinctly disheveled, rather as though she had just fought her way out of a thicket of Devil’s Snare. “Oh, I’ve just escaped — I mean, I’ve just left Cormac,” she said. “Under the mistletoe,” she added in explanation, as Harry continued to look questioningly at her. “Serves you right for coming with him,” he told her severely. “I thought he’d annoy Ron most,” said Hermione dispassionately. “I debated for a while about Zacharias Smith, but I thought, on the whole —” “You considered Smith?” said Harry, revoked. - Half-Blood Prince

Victim-blaming! Nice Harry, nice. Always classy.

Ok, Ginny stanning is already cancelled because she virgin-shamed Ron, right, so who’s left, who’s left... ah yeah:

“There you go,” said Fred proudly. “Best range of love potions you’ll find anywhere.” - Half-Blood Prince

Selling date rape drugs proudly ouh là là. Bye Fred.

"Do they work?” she asked. “Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question...” “...and the attractiveness of the girl,” said George, reappearing suddenly at their side. “But we’re not selling them to our sister,” he added, becoming suddenly stern, “not when she’s already got about five boys on the go from what we’ve...” “Whatever you’ve heard from Ron is a big fat lie,” said Ginny calmly, leaning forward to take a small pink pot off the shelf.

Assuming that only girls use love potions, and only on boys. Men never rape in JKR’s world, only women do, you heard it from George Weasley here folks, I’m just passing on the message. Ah and I hope you’re also starting the Fred And George Hate Club given how he’s also slut-shaming Ginny.

“What’s this?” “Guaranteed ten-second pimple vanisher,” said Fred. “Excellent on everything from boils to blackheads, but don’t change the subject. Are you or are you not currently going out with a boy called Dean Thomas?” “Yes, I am,” said Ginny. “And last time I looked, he was definitely one boy, not five. What are those?” She was pointing at a number of round balls of fluff in shades of pink and purple, all rolling around the bottom of a cage and emitting high-pitched squeaks. “Pygmy Puffs,” said George. “Miniature puffskeins, we can’t breed them fast enough. So what about Michael Corner?” “I dumped him, he was a bad loser,” said Ginny, putting a finger through the bars of the cage and watching the Pygmy Puffs crowd around it. “They’re really cute!” “They’re fairly cuddly, yes,” conceded Fred. “But you’re moving through boyfriends a bit fast, aren’t you?” Ginny turned to look at him, her hands on her hips. There was such a Mrs. Weasley-ish glare on her face that Harry was surprised Fred didn’t recoil. “It’s none of your business. And I’ll thank you” she added angrily to Ron, who had just appeared at George’s elbow, laden with merchandise, “not to tell tales about me to these two!”

Ah, good on you for defending yourself, Ginny, but remember, Ginny stanning is prohibited because she’s been problematic in the past and is gonna be problematic in the future and that’s baaaaaaad. Careful kids, don’t get ideas. It’s problematic to like people who’ve done problematic things.

So I guess nobody can like anything or anyone now. Sorry guys. Liking things is evil, what if the thing you liked had, OR USED TO HAVE, *gasp* flaws, can’t take that risk, ohmygah.

#vivi answers #ask #ron weasley #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #hp fandumb #hp fandom #harry potter #harry potter series #fred weasley #george weasley #fred and george #ginny weasley #hermione granger #problematic content

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platonicavengers · 3 years

Text

headcanons for being the youngest maximoff (part two)

pairings: maximoff twins x sibling!gn!reader && avengers x gn!reader

warnings: spoilers for infinity war + endgame, death, non-descriptive violence, idk

author’s note: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO COME OUT AAAAAAAA it was supposed to be up a while ago but things got in the way and im so sorry :(

tags: @madamevirgo @euphoniumpets

headcanons under the cut !

after steve broke everyone out of the raft you were all on the run for a while

vision and natasha joined you all at some point, and scott and clint returned home to their families

after a while wanda and vision decided to stay in scotland, leaving you with sam, nat, and steve

you were not a huge fan of the idea of leaving her behind

you had already lost your parents and pietro and even though she wasn’t dead you still wouldn’t be able to see her

but you knew why she did what she did

fast forward a little bit

you find out that tony went missing

and then that wanda and vision are being attacked

so u all fly to scotland to help them

*insert u being a badass and beating the shit out of an alien*

finally reuniting w your sister

there were tears

when you arrived back at the compound it was like a breath of fresh air after so long

it’s a shame you weren’t there under better circumstances

immediately getting upset when you saw the hologram of ross

that motherfucker

anyways

going to wakanda was an.... interesting experience

you wanted to enjoy it

but considering why you were there,,,,,,

it was kinda hard to enjoy it lol

wanda ofc stayed up in the lab with vision and shuri

she wanted you to stay up there as well so she could keep an eye on you

she was very hesitant to let you go into the front lines of the battle

even though you were an adult now you were still her little sibling and she was worried for you

you assured her that you would be fine though

fine might be pushing it but

let’s be realistic here

you kicked some alien ass down there

taking out enemy after enemy with no hesitation

pretty impressive tbh. ur fucking awesome

ily

anyways

eventually wanda came down to join the battle

the two of you fought alongside each other

badass sibling duo ugh yes

but then

you had to go against thanos himself

ugly ass mf

you tried to use your magic to remove his gauntlet

you were unsuccessful

he kinda tossed you to the side like a rag doll

which hurt like a bitch

when he snapped you had no idea what tf to do

i mean you had just lost, what were you supposed to do?

you were in the middle of crawling over to wanda, wanting to try to comfort her over the loss of vision

but then she just kinda, disintegrated?

you were in shock for a minute

but then it hit you

“no, no, no, no, no...”

you started sobbing

now you had officially lost your whole family

after a little bit you made your way over to what was left of the team

you all kinda stood in silence for a little while, just processing everything that had happened

eventually you all returned to the quinjet and flew back home

for the first two-ish weeks after the snap you just locked yourself in your room and refused to leave

though eventually you did leave your room again, though very reluctantly

after three weeks had passed by carol, who you were quite fascinated by, returned to the compound carrying a spaceship with her

turns out tony was on said ship

you were glad to see him after so long

and now we jump to going to space to beat thanos’ ass (a g a i n)

you had never been to space before so it was quite a new experience

shame it was under such poor circumstances

when you arrived at thanos’ residence you were out for blood

he took your last remaining family and you were not in the mood to let him get away with it

and then you found out the stones were gone

and everything he had done couldn’t or so you thought be reversed

you were already ready to kill thanos before, but especially now that that was revealed

sadly though, thor took the responsibility of killing the titan himself

*5 years later*

you were 23 now

a whole ass adult

you still lived at the compound with natasha, not exactly having anywhere else to go

not like you would’ve left anyways but

nat had become your sort of support system over the last few years

after all, at this point you really only had each other

all of the rest of the remaining team went their separate ways, none of which deciding to stay with the two of you

one day though steve comes by

you were glad to see him, you had missed him a lot since he left

the three of you had a not-so-positive conversation and then out of nowhere scott appears at the front gate

he tells you his insane idea of using the quantum realm to time travel back to before thanos

you were very wary

you didn’t exactly have a lot of knowledge on the quantum realm but you could still tell that it seemed risky

the four of you went to tony’s house to try to convince him

he almost immediately said no

yikes

you all tried to convince him but to no avail

so you went to bruce hulk instead

bruce?? hulk?? who tf is he tbh

but anywho

when you saw him you were kinda like ????????

but chose to ignore it

you got him to agree to the time travel thing

and it was ?somewhat? successful

somewhat is pushing it tbh

scott became a baby which wasn’t great

but then tony showed up and fixed it like the genius he is

you helped recruit all the remaining avengers to help w the whole time travel thing

you were going to go back in time and get the stones before thanos could

you went with clint and natasha to vormir

you thought it made the most sense for you to sacrifice yourself

after all you weren’t even positive this whole thing with the stones would work, and you couldn’t risk continuing to live a life without wanda and the rest of the team

they stopped you before you could jump though

when natasha dropped you swore your heart stopped beating

she had been all you had for the past 5 years and then she was just gone

you ended up getting the soul stone but at what cost

you and clint returned to the compound and there was a small ‘memorial’ (for lack of a better word) for natasha

after that tony put all of the stones together into a makeshift gauntlet

after a little bit of deliberation it was decided that bruce would be the one to snap his fingers

bruce, hulk, whatever tf

brulk

LMFAO

sorry back to the headcanons LOL

he snapped

immediately everything felt different

you went out to look out a window, seeing a few butterflies fluttering around that you knew weren’t there before

a smile immediately took over ur face

“hey guys, i think it worked!” - you

you were about to turn around and walk back to everyone else

but then

you saw a large ship in the distance

and something began flying toward the compound

and then everything went dark

when you woke up again you were buried under a bunch of rubble

which bruce picked up off of you

you ran out to where thor, tony, and steve were

you saw thanos and froze

they were engaged in a battle and you tried to keep your distance in order to collect yourself for a moment

which proved to be futile because you were dragged into the fight not long after

you kinda got your ass handed to you

it wasn’t pretty

you were lying on the ground when all of a sudden you saw orange light surrounding you

you looked up to see portals opening, all your allies who you had thought to be dead stepping out

you saw wanda and you stopped breathing for a moment

you got up as quick as you could

which proved to be difficult due to ur injuries and overall extreme fatigue

you launched yourself at her, bringing her into the tightest hug you could muster

the two of you held onto each other for a moment before you had to return to fighting

maximoff sibling teamup part 2???? yeah most definitely

fast forward to after thanos and his bitch ass army lost (im sorry i just really dont have the energy to write all that rn)

and to after tony’s funeral

you and wanda had a l o t of catching up to do

5 years worth LOL

u had to comfort her over vision’s death a lot

considering that to her, that was still only a couple days ago

and a lot of the time when you two talked the mood was kinda depressing, all things considered

but you still tried to keep it lighthearted

for example

your absolute favorite thing in the world was the fact that you were now older than her due to the snap, 3 years older to be exact

you held it over her all the time, constantly making fun of her for it

all in good fun of course

something wanda really loved was when you would tell her stories from when she was in the soul world (only happy ones ofc)

though it made her sad that you had to go so long without her, and she missed out on so much

she wanted to know what she had missed

all in all

you two were incredibly close, the snap and its aftermath only further confirming that

sibling goals tbh

a/n #2: aaaaaa im sorry to end it on that note (i didnt know how to end it im sorry asf) but yeah </3 and once again, so sorry this took me so long to post, ive been super busy with school && life in general so i just havent gotten around to it :( butttttttttttt if u guys want i could try to continue this series of headcanons for wandavision?? i’d wait until friday ofc for the final episode and id spoiler tag it and everything but i could try my best? might be kinda difficult but i think it could be fun so if anyone wants that then lmk!! :)

#avengers x reader #platonic avengers #avengers imagine #avengers fanfiction #avengers x platonic!reader #mcu #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #my writing #wanda maximoff x reader

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anika-ann · 3 years

Text

Attached: The One Word

The Three Times Steve Didn’t Get to Hear the One Word He Wanted and the One Time He Did

Type: series, modern-college-professor Steve AU… aka the wrong attachment AU ;)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 7700 👀

Summary: In which Steve really, really wants to ask you the question, but the odds are always against him – absurdly so. Maybe it’s fate and he shouldn’t ask. Or maybe the universe just hates him and punishes him for tainting a girl like you and wanting you all for himself officially.

Warnings: lots of swearing, crack-ish, briefest smut so 18+ only please, sickness and fluff

A/N: I say this to you, my friends – I do not at all envy men in a heterosexual relationship for being expected to pop the question. I would chicken out every time, I’m sure of it. Enjoy!

Story masterlist

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Steve liked to think important things through. He liked planning. He liked to have all the facts and view things from different angles before making a decision.

Therefore, wanting to marry you was something he was perfectly certain of and two months after he received your mother’s blessings – two months of slowly reducing costs, preparing to lower incomes, not that they had ever been glorious ever –, Steve had a feeling that the time was finally right and that he was ready to pop the question. He was.

The only problem was that the universe started plotting against him.

Big time.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Palmeri was a relatively new restaurant, but quickly gaining reputation. Steve had heard Carol talking about taking her girlfriend there for the fun of trying a new spot and getting a taste of fancy Italian. Clearly that had a good time; the moment he learned, he started considering it. Two days later, he had to make a reservation for a week later, because the word of the delicious food travelled fast.

That was fine with him, even if he felt like he was about to jump out of his skin before the date finally arrived. Still, he advertised the fact to you that he would like to celebrate your early wrapped up exams already foreshadowing that you would obviously slayed the one you were supposed to have a day prior Friday.

When you heard the name of the restaurant, your eyes twinkled like fairy lights, a squeal of delight escaping your lips before they swiftly found his to kiss him crazy. Steve’s heart thundered in his chest as you ran off back to your books with newly-found motivation, his nerves mingling with the satisfaction that you appreciated his idea – even if you couldn’t have no clue about what he was about to do.

He could only hope that you’d be as delighted at him sinking to one knee.

But he would have to get out of this fucking interfaculty meeting FIRST!

“Seeing as the satisfaction of the students apparently took a nose dive according to the university poll last month…” Fury continued rambling, his serious and mildly snarky voice carrying through the conference room, as if mocking Steve who anxiously eyed the clock, again.

The reservation was for seven thirty.

It was five to seven.

Half an hour ago, Steve hated the idea of not taking a shower and looking his absolute best while proposing to you.

Now? Every option looked better than this. He would arrive to the restaurant all sweaty and catching his breath if he took off right this moment. And even that seemed impossible; president Fury, that son of a bitch, was nowhere close to ending the meeting.

51 weeks. 51 Fridays Fury could have called the meeting.

Nope, that bastard picked this one, the one Friday Steve was planning on sweeping you off your feet and asking you to be his for the rest of your lives.

Fucking asshole.

“Got anything to add, Professor Rogers?” a gruff voice asked him and Steve jumped in his chair and nearly dropped the phone he was pulling out of his pocket to text you with his deepest regrets – but he had to, otherwise you’d already be on your way.

Best if he saved you the embarrassment; best if you stayed home at least, all dolled up and pretty and smiling for him to show off.

Goddammit fuck.

Steve’s eyes snapped to Fury, meeting a glare that seemed even sterner with only one functioning eye.

Steve gritted his teeth and determinedly gripping his phone.

“No,” he shot back, biting his cheek when Fury’s eyebrow rose at his snappy tone. “I mean… I need to make a phone call. If you’d excuse me, it will be just a minute.”

Likely story. He would have to be apologizing for at least three minutes straight and then crawl on his knees when he finally got back home; not because you’d be so unforgiving and angry, but because it would be the right thing to do after disappointing your precious heart.

He was about to make you sad. He fucking hated making you sad.

“Make it three tops,” the president grumbled, but luckily didn’t pry what was so important for him to leave the room.

“Stevie!” your bright voice greeted him from the speaker and Steve’s heart seized in his chest, his fist automatically clenching in anger. He was about to crush you because of a dumb-ass useless meeting. He brought the fist to his mouth to stop himself from greeting you equally delighted way and fleeting the university grounds. “I’m just about to take off! I was getting worried you wouldn’t make it. Did Fury give you a hard time? … Steve?”

Steve, much to his horror, found his eyes prickling with tears of frustration as his name on your lips sounded suddenly unsure.

Fuck. This.

“Hey babygirl,” he said finally and the roughness of his voice must have been everything you needed to hear to understand.

“You can’t make it.”

Steve wanted to tear his hair out at the defeat in your voice. Talk about a nose dive of your mood. He was gonna fucking scream.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered instead, the apology so pathetic in comparison to what he wanted to say.

But that was the irony – you couldn’t even begin to guess how much it sucked for the two of you to not being able to go to the damn Palmeri. You didn’t know the main tragedy, only a part of it. You didn’t know he had been about to propose.

Silence stretched between the two of you and Steve tilted his head back, blinking against the sting in his eyes, his stomach sinking to his feet.

“It’s not your fault,” you sighed eventually, sounding as if you were trying to convince him as much as yourself.

Steve could imagine precisely the disappointment on your face, the fall of your expression, pretty features no doubt having been accented by make-up just the right amount twisting. He could see clearly how your lips made for smiles turned downward, lower lip maybe even trembling a bit.

Steve was gonna murder Fury.

“But it is. I’m so sorry, I know how excited you were and so was I and— I’m just really sorry.”

“I know, Steve,” you breathed out weakly and he could hear the attempt of a smile in your next words. “Come home soon, yeah? I’ll wait for you.”

Steve’s heart grew in size so rapidly it actually hurt.

“I love you, sweetheart. I know--- I know you might not wanna hear it now and that it doesn’t mean much, but I really do,” he creaked.

“It does. Bye, Steve.”

Steve’s fingers clutched at the phone, eyes falling shut in defeat.

You were nice about it, sure, but the fact that you didn’t say I love you back didn’t escape him as didn’t the switch from Stevie to Steve; the subtle hints sat heavily in his gut as he returned to the room.

He met Bucky’s compassionate gaze – of course Buck knew about why Steve was distracted during the assembly – and quickly looked away, once again excusing himself for the interruption even if there was nothing sincere about his words.

His chest ached for the rest of the meeting – and would for the rest of the night.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

He did not come home soon – in fact, it was nearing eleven when he finally opened the door, trying to make no sound when he found the apartment plunged into dark. He grimaced, jaw clenching; you were already asleep.

A fresh surge of anger shot into his veins; the university hated him, he was certain of it – and the other way around. He had missed his shot because of a meeting that was literally about nothing. Fuck his life.

He grumbled, the only sound he allowed himself to make when moving around the apartment, switching the dimmest light he could as not to wake you – because disappointing you was enough, the least he could do was not to disturb your sleep.

Frustrated, tired and hungry, he tiptoed to the kitchen to grab a bite. He was starving and even though he was exhausted and craved nothing but to wrap his arms around you and sink into the cushions, he knew hunger would wake him up a few hours later if he went to bed with an empty stomach.

Upon opening the fridge, a surprise welcomed him; a ham & cheese sandwich ready on a plate, a small Tupperware box with pieces of tomatoes and cucumber on side, a sticky note simply reading ‘Stevie’.

His breath got stuck in his throat, heart hammering in his ribcage – that was how moved he was by your gesture. He knew that you must have been as upset as you had been excited to have the fancy dinner with him, but here you were, pushing your sorrows and anger aside and preparing him food, a possible olive branch.

The sandwich was nothing fancy by any means; but God, Steve loved you just a little bit more at that moment for he didn’t have to move a finger to eat so late and you even took care to set his vegetables aside, because you knew how much he hated when the bread got squishy with the juice.

Gratefully biting into his late-night meal, Steve swore to himself he would spend the rest of his life spoiling you rotten.

When he finally got to cautiously cuddle you from behind – eyeing the absolutely stunning dress you were supposed to wear hanging outside the closet as if there to mock him – you stirred at the dip of the mattress.

Lazily blinking your eyes open, you welcomed him with a raspy hey and he had a half mind to just take the ring from the safety of its velvet box and slip it on your finger right there.

“I’m sorry, babygirl. I’m so so sorry,” he whispered, tentatively wrapping his arm around your midsection, unsure if he wasn’t in disgrace after all. You just hummed and rolled over to face him, burying your face in his chest, heavy limbs wrapping around him as if you were an octopus – the most adorable, precious, beautiful and perfect octopus in the world. His octopus. “I love you so much. I promise to make it up to you.”

“Uh-huh. Looking forward to it. Now sleep,” you mumbled to Steve’s sleepshirt, half-grumpy half-sounding as if not caring for what he was saying at all, causing him to feel warm all over.

Oh he was so going to show you just how he could make it up to you. He would marry the shit out of you.

Just you wait.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Because of a water incident, Palmeri closed three days after Steve’s first failed attempt – and assumptions were that it would remain so for a month, because they needed to redecorate.

That meant a new plan for Steve, because he could not wait that long. Out of question. He needed to hear you say yes as soon as possible. Yesterday had been too late.

So, he asked Sam for a recommendation – casually, he believed – and somehow ended up with the man looking at him for a few seconds before realization dawned on his face.

“Oooooh, I see how it is! Need something real nice, huh?” Sam whistled, a teasing grin on his face as he patted Steve’s shoulder for support. “Relax, I gotcha, man. All you need; cosy atmosphere, but classy, white table cloths and everything. The right place to take her to in order to butter her up and make her all putty.”

Steve didn’t manage to quite hide his embarrassment at being so obvious, but he knew that Sam was a friend and all his shit-talking was good-natured, always knowing where the boundaries were; he wasn’t a counsellor for nothing.

And Steve had to give it to him – the place he recommended was just what he promised it would be and exactly what Steve needed.

You were all smiles and some giggles, little tipsy on the second glass of the wine, eyes shining in the dim lights, somehow lighting up more whenever you caught him staring at you. It was the perfect display of all the good things you were, ones he adored about you, the light of his life and gazing at him as if he was yours too.

Downing some of the liquid courage himself and with you so gorgeously giddy, Steve felt his confidence building up during the night and was just about ready to get on one knee once you finished your shared dessert.

“This is good!” you gushed, digging the fork if into the cake to get another bite and Steve grinned, unable to help himself as he agreed.

“Uh-huh, sweet. But not as sweet as you.”

You stopped mid-chew, eyes meeting his and he felt his face burn hot with embarrassment at such cheesy comment.

You swallowed, gaze still fixed on him as he busied himself with the sweet treat, and then you chuckled, causing his face to turn entirely red.

“You, Steve Rogers, are so corny sometimes,” you mocked him lightly, but when he looked up, sheepish and with his confidence bruised, he found you all starry-eyed still, watching him adoringly as if he hung the moon – and he would, for you – and Steve felt himself settle again. “But I still love you. Maybe even more for that.”

It was a wonderful opening, things really going his way – but he hesitated a second too long, like an idiot, and the next thing he knew, a string quartet, a damn string quartet, walked straight to the elderly couple two tables over, one of the group congratulating them to their thirtieth anniversary and at that moment…

Well. At that moment, Steve really fucking hated them.

Who fucking cared they were a sweet elderly couple?! Steve could only dream about you two becoming them one day as of now, because they ruined just another of his fucking shots!

He couldn’t believe that he missed his window again.

And what more, you cooed under your breath, a silent aww falling from your lips and Steve knew that anything less than a string quartet accompanying a marriage proposal when delivered in a restaurant was a no-go.

So scratch that one off the list.

All guests clapped their hands, more of awws coming from different directions and you proceeded to take his hand, gentle fingers stroking over his knuckles and Steve knew one thing with absolute certainty; he needed to propose tonight otherwise he might burst.

At home then, he would ask you at home. Who even wanted something as cliché and public as he had planned? Lame. You were a private pair, some people still judged you upon seeing you together; a little intimate proposal in your home after a fancy sweet dinner would be just the thing.

Steve just had to figure how exactly and at what moment to ask. He’d be fine. You’d say yes. Right?

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts and plans that he barely noticed you growing skittish during the taxi ride, but he certainly noticed when you started practically jumping by his side as he was unlocking the door to your apartment, confused by your antics.

The second Steve opened it and stepped inside, he found himself being shoved back-first towards a wall, your hands on his chest, sliding up and down his coat and blindly undoing the buttons as your mouth assaulted his, a soft mewl vibrating against his lips, wandering hands appreciative when they slipped under the lapels of his coat and jacket.

Steve’s head spun at the display of desire, a sudden pleasant dizziness overtaking his body, all rational thoughts vaporizing as you rocked against his crotch, his cock twitching in excitement at the friction and at the way his tongue had to fight against yours. His brain grew foggy at the faint taste of wine and the cake you had shared, his hands automatically grabbing your waist to keep you close, fingers squeezing your hips and ass to urge you closer when he rolled his hips against yours, eliciting needy moans from your lips-

You withdrew for just a second to catch your breath, lips skimming over his jaw, revelling at the feel of his beard on your skin he knew you loved, hasty words whispered into his flesh.

“Dammit, Steve, you look so fucking hot in this suit--- oh Stevie,” you whimpered when his hands slipped under your backside to tease your clothed weeping core, the sensation setting his blood on fire, the delicious friction and your dirty mouth everything that mattered in the world. “Let me suck you off-“

Steve nearly choked on his own spit upon hearing that, almost losing his balance with his legs turning into jelly and all his blood rushing into his dick.

Yeah, Steve might be a professor but he was a simple guy.

When his girl, in those stunning hot as hell dress begged him to let her get on her knees to blow his dick and his mind, he really couldn’t find himself refusing, the coil in his belly searing hot by the time you looked up at him from under your eyelashes, so pretty, doe-eyed, lips kiss-swollen and willing and so fucking devilish as you freed his cock and licked the drop of precum already forming there.

“Fuck, babygirl, what’s gotten into you-“ was all he managed to ask before all he could think off was the velvety heat of your mouth, taking him all in and making him see stars, the jewellery box in the pocket of his coat long forgotten.

And fuck was also his first coherent thought in the morning, when he realized that once again, the proposal attempt ended up being an utter failure.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Steve had established after his two and half failed proposals that he wouldn’t make any reservations in some dumb restaurant. Just no. Privacy it would be; something personal, accompanied with a simple and yet big enough gesture, him doing something just for you, following with words of you being his world or something.

Yeah.

And for once, it seemed that the universe that had seemed to hate him, finally started playing in his favour.

The weather was going crazy, sun and spring in a middle of February and Steve had a revelation – he was going to take you out for a picnic. It was going to be perfect; he’d take you outside the city, find a quiet corner, just you and him, nothing in your way and more importantly, in his way to pop the question.

Steve was certain that you’d prefer this to anything else anyway, loving when he made an effort to create something for you. He still remembered when you first discovered he enjoyed drawing and you practically melted into a puddle when you found drawings of yourself too, allegedly displaying you prettier than you were – as if.

So, picnic it was.

Except on Friday, the day before THE DAY, Steve woke up with a splitting headache, his whole body hurting, nose full and lungs as if stuffed with cotton wool. He blamed the crazy weather, but it didn’t really matter where this sickness came from – he felt like shit.

He groaned and downright punched the alarm on his phone, startling you awake.

With bleary gaze, he registered you rolling over in his arms, squirming at him sleepily as he let his eyelids slip shut again.

“Steve, hun, are you okay?” you asked him softly, voice husky as he loved to hear it when you woke up, too adorable for him to keep his hands off you.

He sure as fuck wasn’t thinking about sweet and filthy morning loving now; he would have coughed out his lungs if he tried to move too much and some parts of him might fall off judging by how much everything hurt.

“Yeah,” he rasped, throat scratchy at the single word and as if from a distance, he heard a noise of sympathy, your palm instantly finding his forehead, gentle touch soothing against his burning skin.

“You’re absolutely not okay. Stevie, you’re burning up,” you whispered compassionately and Steve blinked his eyes open, the little light in the room causing him to snap them close again immediately. Ouch.

“Fuck my liiiiife,” he groaned, prolonging the last syllable, which proved to be a wrong thing to do, sending him into a couching fit due to his scratchy throat.

Your hands roamed his shoulders and back as he rolled over to his side from you, hoping to suck in some air to continue coughing.

“Oh Stevie, I’m sorry. I’ll bring you some medicine when I’m back from school, yeah? And I’ll make some soup,” you assured him kindly, dropping a kiss to his shoulder before your pleasant warmth disappeared, leaving him too cold and hot at the same time.

Seriously. FUCK HIS LIFE.

Grunting, he fell to his back, exhausted by one stupid coughing fit, whole body heavy; and he must have fallen asleep too, because the next thing he knew, soft lips were touching his forehead, tender fingers brushing messy strands of hair away. He stirred, forcing his eyes open to be greeted by a sight of that angelic face of yours, complete with a halo of light around you.

“I already called Bucky. He’ll sort out your classes today, alright? There’s a tea on your nightstand along with some last Tylenol we have.”

Steve squinted in the direction of the piece of furniture you mentioned and sure enough, there it was, everything you said it would.

What a pretty dutiful nurse you were. God, he loved you.

As he eyed you then, deep sense of longing settled in his swimming stomach, more so as he didn’t miss the gorgeous thermo leggings and long sweater hugging your figure, reaching your mid-thighs.

All Steve wanted was to pull you back to him so he had a human furnace in bed with him, the soothing smell of your shampoo to comfort him – even though he probably wouldn’t be able to smell it. But his hands would still be able to explore your delicious body, grope and hold it close to his and you could maybe ramble about everything and anything, lulling him to sleep.

But no, you were leaving to school, leaving him alone in the apartment.

Just him, himself and his fucking flu.

He eyed you wistfully, lips pursed at your concerned expression.

“When you’ll be back?”

The wrinkle between your brows smoothened, a smile playing in the corner of your mouth.

“I have class until eleven. I see what I can do. I’m gonna have to hit the pharmacy and make some shopping,” you explained patiently, casing Steve to groan. Too long. So so long… Your smile widened, another kiss landing on his temple this time. “But I’ll be back before you know it. Get some rest, Professor Rogers.”

Your teasing tone made him growl, the action effectively sending him into another coughing fit and through glassy eyes, he saw you disappear from the room with one last glance over your shoulder.

Steve closed his eyes and breathed in deeply – oh, the delicious air – and then buried himself in the covers, praying that a decent sleep would make him feel better.

It didn’t, not quite. What did make him feel much better was the Tylenol and the sirup you brought along.

The absolute best was when you were there for him to cuddle you to sleep in the evening; somewhere in the back of his mind, he was aware that he was being a giant baby and was being utterly ridiculous, but God help him, this was all he needed the whole day.

He sighed blissfully as he hugged your midsection while you were sitting propped on the back-rest, soft light from the nightlamp illuminating the pages of the book you were reading. You were warmth, the gentle kind and Steve felt you seeping into him, fingers of one hand raking through his hair; he felt himself getting high on your loving care and cough sirup.

“I love having you here,” he muttered into the fabric of your pyjama, feeling you shift in your position a little, probably as you looked at him.

“Yeah?” you asked, sounding as if you were smiling, maybe even laughing at him; but he couldn’t care less, already drifting off to sleep, just content to have you.

“You’re warm and nice… and the prettiest nurse. And I love you. You’re my everything.”

“Oh Stevie,” you cooed sweetly, kissing the crown of his head and he preened at the sensation, smiling lazily. “I love you too.”

His heart skipped a beat as he nuzzled into your flesh and heard you gently toss the book away, your other hand now caressing his cheek.

“Yeah? Will you always be here? I want you to always be with me,” he admitted sheepishly, drawing a soft giggle and earning a kiss on his forehead.

“God, you’re adorable like this…”

Steve grunted, discontent with your reaction. “Not an answer.”

“I’ll always be here if you want me to, Stevie,” you answered dutifully, causing warmth fill his chest even if your body was shaking with hushed laughter; he felt it, but didn’t care. For your words however, he did; phew, as if he ever wanted something else, as if you had the right to question that!

He really needed to propose soon… just not tomorrow. You’d probably say no if he asked you, blaming his request on the fever. Naively.

“I wanna,” he mumbled, trying to squeeze you tighter. “Mine. My pretty girl. My babygirl. Forever.”

“Forever is a long time,” you noted, smile once again lacing your voice, along with an emotion, oh so soft one, he didn’t have the capacity to identify anymore. “But that’s what it’ll be if that’s what you want.”

Finally satisfied and with determination in the back of his mind, Steve let your love bridge him over to the dreamland, distantly aware of your fingers still playing with his hair.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Steve’s mother used to say his that flu lasted a week under a doctor’s care; and seven days without it. Of course, when he was younger with many health issues, it was more complicated than that, but he got the message.

Under your care, he felt considerably better after five days, only a mild case of a runny nose remaining. On a Thursday morning, he even found himself awake before you did, before your alarm went off.

Contemplating whether he should stay in bed with you or get shit done, he lazily scooped away a bit and propped himself on his elbow to feast his eyes on his pretty nurse.

Your hair was a messy halo around your head, your brows were lightly crooked as if you were having an unpleasant dream, your lips parted just a fraction, the softest snort escaping you.

Steve felt himself grin, a love-sick lift of the corners of his lips.

You were so freaking cute.

And seeing you, relaxed, but clearly catching up with sleep to beat your exhaustion to which he abundantly contributed, he knew he couldn’t stay in bed; in fact, he had to make you breakfast to bed, for all the troubles he put you through and for the attentive care you lavished him with.

Sure, when he was getting overly needy and whiny or cranky, you weren’t shy to call him out on his shit – which only made him love you more – but otherwise you were admirably patient.

As if he hadn’t already known that you were a keeper before that; this only solidified his conviction. If everything about you didn’t scream put a ring on it, then he wasn’t Steven Grant Rogers.

Hell, he had a half-mind to propose you just at that moment, all domestic atmosphere and sweet gesture like breakfast in bed, but he wasn’t certain it wouldn’t look like the past few days were what pushed him over the edge. That would only be a half-truth--- quarter-truth?

Shaking his head at his own dumb thoughts, he gathered the pancakes, yogurt, various pieces of fruit and obviously, a coffee, laying it on a tray he had nearly forgotten he owned and tiptoed to the bedroom, honestly surprised that you hadn’t woken up yet with him fumbling around.

He stopped dead in his tracks when you sighed and stirred, rolling over and stretching out a hand as if in a search for him, only to find the space empty. Something between a hum and a damn meowl fell from your lips and Steve had to remind himself what it was he wanted to do besides trying his best to find out how exactly he could make you repeat that sound.

So precious. Absolutely adorable. Beautiful. Tempting.

You clutched the empty sheets, but didn’t wake and Steve crossed the distance to the bed, carefully setting the tray on the nightstand as he went to sit on the bed next to your waist, a dopy smile on his face.

Laying a hand on your thigh, he squeezed a little, attempting to wake you gently; he knew you got jumpy when something tickled your face, so this was the safer option.

You stirred once again, but didn’t wake, your eyes only fluttering open when he called your name a few times, alternating with your favourite term of endearment.

You squinted at him, appearing confused and groaning. Steve grinned.

“Morning, sunshine,” he hummed, finally allowing himself to run the pads of his fingers from your forehead to your cheek and jaw, leaning into drop a kiss to your lips.

He froze, his brain on alert as he registered how hot your face felt.

The faint snoring. Squinting against light. Not waking up sooner than him. Your face pretty much burning to touch.

Oh no.

“Babygirl… are you feeling sick?” Steve whispered hesitantly, met with a bleary gaze and a pout.

“Wasn’t feeling great even yesterday evening…” you said, voice hoarse – whether from sleep or the flu Steve had managed to infect you with, he couldn’t tell.

But he certainly felt guilty, even if it was inevitable, really; with all you sweet care and constant proximity, it was only a matter of time. Not that it made him feel any better.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry-“

“Not your fault-“

“Kinda is-“

“Steve dammit!” you hissed, your eyes flying open fully and Steve knew what was coming; still, he grimaced as you coughed. “Shit. I hate flu.”

“Tell me about it. You think you can eat something?” he fussed, snapping into his nurse mode right away, ready for your roles to reverse.

You hummed and tried to sit, your gaze falling on the nightstand for the first time. Your expression, having been twisted in a grimace, softened instantly. As you turned to him, he suddenly felt sheepish. Was he acting like a love-sick fool?

“You made me breakfast to bed?” you cooed, snuggling into the covers before gesturing for him to help you sit up. “You’re the best.”

“I’ll be better if I make you some tea to go with it… and bring cough sirup… and stuff, yeah?”

You smiled like a loon – well, you tried, the result kinda faint, a testimony to your exhaustion – and Steve quickly rose to his feet.

“You’re the best.”

“Nope, that’s you. Eat your breakfast, babygirl.”

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Steve could tell you still didn’t feel exactly alright and the idea of eating wasn’t thrilling to you, but the pleaser you were, you tried your best for him to see that you appreciated his effort to make breakfast. When he brought you the tea, the medicine and water to down it, you were hallway through the pancakes, even though you seemed to force yourself into every bite.

“You don’t have to make yourself sicker just because you feel like you have to eat this, you know,” he hummed nonchalantly, causing you to grimace and take another two bites before sighing and pushing the tray away.

“It’s really yummy though… I think,” you stated, a wry smile playing in one corner of your lips. “Thank you.”

And you sounded so honestly grateful, clearly attempting for the smile to look real even with your eyes blazed and your features undeniably displaying tiredness, that Steve had to chuckle as he handed you the pills.

“Glad you liked it, sweetheart.”

You went to drop a careful kiss to his cheek when a coughing fit took you by surprise, starling him and resulting in you clutching both your chest and head, wide hurt eyes looking up at him as he smiled, tight-lipped and compassionate; he knew exactly how you felt.

And you were still kinda adorable, pouting a bit, looking at Steve as if he could save you from the evil flu monster.

“I hate flu… but I really like you. Thank you for taking care of me,” you said sincerely, emphasizing your point with an obviously unplanned sneeze.

Steve lips twitched, but so did his heart. His hands went to caress your hair, earning a pleased hum.

“Just returning the favour.”

“Uh-huh. Don’t think I was that nice.”

“You were,” he assured you, feeling need to add a little piece of important information, just to show how much he meant it. “Just made me fall in love with you all over again.”

“Sweet-talker. I bet that’s all gone now, seeing me about to go through a box of tissues a day,” you chuckled weakly, nearly sinking into the cushions.

Steve wasn’t sure what was it he was suddenly overcome with; how or in which exact moment it sneaked into his conscience, a crazy insane thought and the untameable feeling in his gut that nudged him to do it.

To do it right now. To tell you, truly and from the depth of his heart, how much you meant to him. How much he was sure you always would.

“No, it’s not. I want to take care of you,” he whispered, hesitantly taking a hold of your slightly clammy hands and gently squeezing. You reciprocated the action, even if weakly.

“I want to take care of you and I want you to take care of me. I want to have you by my side every day, in our home, in our bed,” he continued, for once not talking only about different ways of making you moan his name when mentioning a bed. “I want to kiss you stupid whenever I get the chance, I want to laugh with you when you’re happy and hold you when you feel like crap. I want us to fight the whole world if they tell us that our love is wrong, because I know there’s nothing more right than me loving you and you loving me.”

The words spilled from his lips without much thinking, just one following other, somehow making sense, he hoped.

The strange buzz of nerves in his ears was so loud that he barely registered you breathed out his name.

“Steve-“

His eyes never left your face, watching it crumble under the weight of his declaration, already glassy eyes turning wetter, breathing ragged almost as much as his was from the rapid fire of words. Your lips parted in beautiful awe, that beautiful awe he had seen before, whenever you seemed to be shocked by how deep his need for you ran.

There was no questioning what should come next. Only half-aware of doing so, Steve had already prepared the ground.

“Stay right here,” he blurted out, giving your hands another quick squeeze before straightening rapidly and nearly tripping over his feet as he rushed towards his desk, opening the third drawer. Your voice, laced with both confusion and overwhelming emotion, followed him.

“I- I’m not going anywhere. What’s-“

“Sh-shh,” Steve hissed distractedly and took a deep breath as his fingers finally met with the box, gripping it tightly and his palm covering it as he stalked back to the bed, heart hammering in his ribcage.

This was the right moment, right? It seemed ridiculous, but god, so so right.

“You’re lucid, right?” he asked just to make sure, wavering only for a bit; you might be sick, even have a headache maybe, but you certainly appeared lucid enough a moment ago. But maybe that would be the reason you’d say no?

Shit, he felt like teenager about to ask his first crush to sit with him at lunch.

“I—I think? I’m just hella confused…“ you stuttered, causing his already wild heart to skip a beat upon hearing the nerves in your voice.

Your eyes, wide with confusion and yet slightly narrow because light hurt, watched Steve carefully as he dropped to his knees by your bedside and he didn’t think he ever saw you looking more endearing.

Steve had never been more certain of the fact that he wanted you to be his wife; and yet, and maybe precisely because of that, a lump formed in his throat. He took a deep calming breath, bracing himself.

“I love you. I love your mind, your body, your soul and everything that’s you and I—I think you’re the most wonderful woman I have ever met and had the luck to fall for. So I…”

With another heartskip, loud pounding in his head and maybe a tiny bit of a shake to his hands, he rose to only one knee, not missing your expression turning into a picture perfect of shock when he held out the box he had been thinking about for too long.

“Oh my god, Steve-“

“Please let me do this,” he whispered, barely audible, mostly because while you seemed absolutely stunned, you didn’t look angry or horrified, so he sensed a chance.

“I’m running a fever, my nose is running too and I’m--- ew all over-“ you protested weakly, a tear actually running down your cheek, but then you chuckled, a hand flying up to cover your mouth and Steve felt his confidence rise.

“You’re not, and even if you were I wouldn’t care. You’re my everything and wish nothing more than to make you mine officially.” Unable to wait any longer under you attentive and entirely adoring gaze, he opened the box and said your full name, nearly choking on it under the overwhelming joy of the moment – because he already knew. He knew what you were gonna say; you had it written all over you face. “Will you marry me?”

Steve knew. He was so sure that he knew--- and yet. Yet. As the silence prolonged, lasting seconds, minutes even – hours, it must have been – Steve felt the nervous coil in his gut twist painfully.

He watched you with torturous anticipation as you were; semi-sat up on a bed, hurting, probably beginning to sweat through your pyjama and drinking chamomile tea to get rid of the bug you had caught from him, and here he was, proposing.

In sickness and health indeed; and in some absurd way, this all made perfect sense to him… well, it had, a minute ago.

You looked like a million thoughts were racing through your head, and Steve felt his heart sink to his stomach. What if you truly were thinking he was crazy-

“Yes,” you said at last and Steve released the breath he was holding, endlessly relieved, the heaviness weighting a ton finally falling from his shoulders. Oh Chirst, thank fuck—he really had been getting worried- “Yes, I-“

Relief blended into delight as he heard you speak the beautiful word again.

Yes. Yes, you wanted to be his wife.

Yes, you wanted to marry him!!

An incredulous chuckle spilled from his lips and he tossed the box on the bed, swiftly moving up and grabbing your face to kiss you stupid as he wanted and had said that he always would.

You made a startled noise, but you giggled too, grasping onto his shoulders and his nape and kissing back with all you got—and then you were pulling away, fighting for breath, because flu, duh, he needed to be careful with you, but-

You agreed to marry him!

Keeping you as close as possible while allowing you to breathe, his eyes happily roamed your face, so pretty and adorable and the knowledge of him being able waking up next to that face for the rest of his life sent his heart into frenzy, sparkles of pure joy filling his chest.

“I love you! Thank you, babygirl,” he exclaimed, kissing you once more, a short but intense encounter of lips that caused you to giggle again—but he didn’t give a shit if he was being ridiculous. Your eyes, even if tired, seemed to glow now, happy twinkles dancing in your irises, telling him you were just as excited and delighted as he was. “Thank you-“

“You’re so crazy-“ you mumbled, dropping a kiss to his shoulder as you still shook with laughter and Steve simply climbed on the bed fully, wrapping you in his arms tightly.

He could sing at how you fit into his arms.

“I am. For you.”

“I can’t believe you proposed to me while I’m lying sick on a bed,” you mumbled over his shoulder, sounding as if you were complaining a little.

“In sickness and health?” he offered nervously, holding you tighter just in case you were going to back out now. Which was not an option.

He had to physically put the ring on your finger. Right now. Then you wouldn’t be able to change your mind.

In the back of his brain, an annoying voice told him that this was not how it worked, that there was no guarantee. But Steve shushed that voice and withdrew only enough to reach for the box and with a grin so wide he could feel his cheeks hurt from the strain, he took a hold of your left hand, slipping the ring on.

He didn’t miss the way your breath caught and he didn’t think the flu was to blame for that; the ring looked lovely on your hand. And Steve was a smidge proud of how he managed to make it fit perfectly.

“Steve… the ring-”

“You don’t like it?” he worried in an instant as he detected a new emotion in your voice.

You went to lightly slap his shoulder, rolling your eyes – an action you apparently regretted by the silent groan that followed; just another reminded of your sickness.

“Shush, you dummy. It’s--- breath-taking, but-“ you bit down on your lower lip, clearly hesitant to speak your mind and Steve didn’t find it at all comforting that you said you did like then ring. Not with the but. You sounded almost guilty, which was… strange. “But must have been so expensive and we still haven’t really-“

Oh. Oh.

Steve felt his lips spread back into a smile.

His sweet, sweet girl, responsible and perfect. He hated the reminder of your father’s behaviour, of the fact that you were ashamed on his behalf and felt guilty.

Steve didn’t want that.

“If I tell you it wasn’t, will you be mad?” he offered, watching carefully for your reaction, and your thoughtful expression turned into a confused one.

“Wasn’t?“

“I just had it cleaned and re-sized.”

You blinked, eyelids heavy, and tilted your head in bewilderment—melting into a brief panic and Steve realized what must have crossed your mind.

His stomach clenched in horror at you even considering it. You might have thought it was meant for another woman from his life.

Which it was, but not the way you thought!

“It was my ma’s!” he blurted out in panic, causing you to flinch a bit in fright of his suddenly louder voice. Steve shook his head – he was so messing this whole proposal thing up – clearing his throat, he observed your face, now full of emotion he couldn’t read. “…is that okay?”

There were tears prickling in your eyes, no words leaving your mouth as he had managed to render you speechless and he could punch himself for making you feel whatever you were feeling.

He had to fix this, fast.

“We can absolutely pick up something else if you don’t like the idea!” he was quick to offer, his heart speeding up when you still didn’t say a word. But you didn’t seem… that mad. What was happening in your head though, that was a mystery to him. “It’s just… she always told me that it was the second most precious thing she had left after dad, right after me, and that she wants me to give it to-- please don’t cry.”

Yes, he made the tears spill. There were a few rolling down your cheeks and Steve… he was starting to recognize the emotions playing in your expression, but he couldn’t entirely put his finger on it.

Honestly, he couldn’t tell whether you were so touched by the whole inherited ring gesture or if you were hating him with your very being for ruining some picture-perfect proposal you had been dreaming about since you were five; angry and disappointed that he didn’t even have the decency to buy you your own ring.

Probably a bit of both.

“Steve, you romantic idiot, come here,” you choked out, by a miracle not coughing for once and before he could even react and let the relief sink in, you grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled hard.

You had a surprisingly a lot of strength for someone coming down with a flu – actually, being down with a flu.

He landed on you, barely catching himself before he could crush you, a surprised laugh spilling from his lips, delight once again lighting up his world.

“I love you, Steve,” you whispered, pecking his lips, fingers sinking to his hair and that moment, Steve was in heaven. “So much.”

He grinned wide, wrapping his arms around you and holding you to his chest as tight as he could, feeling both his own heartbeat and yours, tumbling happily and together.

“And I love you… future Mrs. Rogers.”

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Tied to you (next in timeline)

S.R.masterlist

Attached masterlist

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Not gonna lie. Thought of posting this in four parts of maybe at least two (3 and +1), but then I thought, screw it, let’s post 7,7k words at once. I hope you made it through all of them.

What’s coming next? I have no idea... maybe it’s who’s ‘coming’ next 👀

Thank you for reading!

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mammonshuman92 · 3 years

Text

- Tango -

(Lucifer x MC)

NOTE: F!MC

*** I’M GOING TO WORK ON MAKING THE MC GENDER NEUTRAL IN MY UPCOMING STORIES, PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME ***

It has been a few months since moving to the Devildom. Everything seemed to be working out fine and you were even getting along well with the brothers. You really felt like you were getting pretty close to them.

Well, except Lucifer.

No matter what you did, he was always so cold and stand off-ish. He didn’t go out of his way to be rude to you or anything, but you could tell that, at most, he tolerated you. You weren’t sure why, but that kind of bothered you. Probably because you tried your hardest to be kind and polite. You even tried not to get into too much trouble with Mammon. Nothing helped.

You made your way to the dining room for breakfast. You had overslept a little causing you to be the last to arrive, taking your usual seat next to Mammon. They were talking back and forth about the upcoming festival the Student Council was putting on. It was only a few days away, and everyone at RAD had been buzzing about it. You were pretty excited yourself.

“I can’t very well withdraw now, Asmo, we are days away from the festival.” Lucifer said. He sounded agitated.

“Well, maybe you can find a different partner.” Asmo suggested.

“To learn the entire routine in three days, and be to my standards, would take skill.”

Partner? Routine? I wonder..

“Are you talking about dancing?” You asked, curiosity getting the better of you.

The two demons turned their attention toward you. Lucifer’s gaze made you shiver a little. He’s quite intimidating.

“Mhm, Lucifer and his dance partner always do a routine at the festival but she sprained her ankle really bad and won’t be able to perform.” Asmo explained.

Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it.

“Oh. Well, um, I’ll be your p-partner.” Now all of the brothers were looking at you.

What is wrong with you? Huh? Dang.

Lucifer scoffed quietly. “I don;t think you understand. This is not a hip-hop routine, MC. It’s ballroom dancing.” He said.

Rude.

But he couldn’t really scare you on this subject. You knew your worth when it came to this.

You nodded, looking him in the eye, “Ok. I’ve been in dance since I could walk. I’ve also done competitions. I can do it all from hip-hop to ballet and everything in between. That includes ballroom.” You said smugly.

“Really?” Asmo curiously asked with a smile. “Why didn’t you tell me?! I would’ve taken you to the club a long time ago!”

Lucifer turned to you,completely ignoring Asmo.“Then I suppose you know the Tango?”

“Absolutely.”

He scooted his chair out and stood up, holding his hand out to you, “Would you mind giving a demonstration?”

Now? Can’t I eat my eggs first?

You stood and took his hand, walking over to the open space away from the table. All the brothers turned to watch you.

You moved closer to Lucifer, and adjusted your form. Hand placed gently in Lucifer’s.

“Just follow my lead.” He instructed.

You flowed so well together and kept perfect time. He’s a surprisingly good dancer. Strong and secure, yet soft in a way you thought was impossible for Lucifer.

After roughly another minute, the two of you came to a stop. All eyes were on you. Everyone was so shocked to learn about this side of you.

“Very well. Meet me in the music room after school and we will practice the routine.“ Lucifer said, before excusing himself and heading to RAD.

“So, MC.The Tango is quite sexy. Maybe you and I could also do a routine.” Asmo suggested, batting his eyelashes at you.

“Whoa, Asmo! C’mon! MY human. Not yours.” Mammon said, pointing his fork at his brother. The two squabbled back and forth for a couple more minutes and that’s when Asmo’s words finally registered.

The Tango is sexy.

You’re doing the Tango with Lucifer.

Oh shit.

After you got home from RAD you headed straight to the music room, where Lucifer was already waiting. How is he so fast?

“Good, you’re here. Ready to get started?”

The routine was fairly standard as far as Tango goes but something about it felt so wrong. But, in a good way?

I mean, Lucifer is your partner.

Lucifer.

Yeah, he’s tall and intimidating. Strong.

But, he’s also quite handsome.

You went from barely having interaction with the eldest demon, with him barely tolerating you, to dancing with him. Holding you close, his hands on your body.

You’ve had many dance partners in the past, but none compared to Lucifer. He was so fluid but so strong. He was so graceful. So beautiful.

He seemed to be starting to relax. He was talking to you a little. He even kind of laughed once. It was weird.

Over the course of the next few days, he seemed to really open up a lot. You found him starting conversations with you that didn’t concern the routine. He even seemed to be hanging around you a little more. You even caught him looking at you once.

You felt better about your relationship with him. I mean sure, you had already had a pact with him before all of this, but that seemed more like a business deal than a friendship type of thing. He’s always been so formal with you. But now, it’s like he’s a whole new demon.

It was now the day before the festival. You had went to see the seamstress at Majolish after RAD to pick up your dress for the dance. It was perfect. You found yourself getting anxious. You were really looking forward to this.

You were putting your dress away when there was a light knock at your door. You quickly shoved the dress in the closet and shut the door. No one had seen it yet and you wanted it to be a surprise.

You opened the door to see Lucifer. He smiled.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you. I was planning to have tea in the music room. If you’re not busy, would you care to join me?” He asked, a slight smile on his lips.

Classical music played in the background while you and Lucifer sat, sipping tea.

“I thought listening to a classical record would help ease the mind before tomorrow. Are you nervous?”

“Me? This isn’t my first performance. Besides, and I don’t mean to be cocky, but I know the areas I excel in. Dance is one of them.” You said proudly. Granted you knew you weren’t professional level, but you knew how good you were. You better be anyway, as Dad would say, with a lifetime full of dance lessons.

Lucifer smirked, “I won’t disagree. I might even have to make you my regular partner.” He glanced at you and it made you blush. Which made him chuckle quietly.

You spent the next couple of hours together listening to music and talking. You had a great time. You definitely felt closer to him. You even found yourself to have a slight crush, even.

"Two minutes." The stage hand told you as you were looking in the body length mirror fixing a piece of your hair.

"Thank you." You said to him and turned your attention back to the mirror. You took a step back to get the whole view.

You were on one side of the stage while Lucifer was on the other, waiting for your cues from the stage hands. Not seeing one another until you walked out onto the floor helped your nerves a little.

I bet he looks good. You thought.

You made sure to keep the dress you had chosen out of view from anyone, because you wanted it to be a surprise. It was a good idea too, because honestly, you looked damn good.

It was black with red accents. Delicate lace sleeves covering your arms. There was also a slit on the side that reached your mid thigh.

The Tango is considered a sexy dance, and you needed to look the part. And boy, did you ever.

Over the last few days, your relationship with Lucifer had really blossomed beautifully and you actually found yourself having a crush. You’ve always liked him, or thought he was attractive, at least, but never looked at him the way you do now. You got to see a small glimpse of who he really is the last few days, away from his brothers, relaxed and doing something he enjoyed. He smiled more. The permanent crease in his forehead was gone and his eyebrows didn’t furrow.

Thinking back on the last week caused a slight flush in your cheeks and a lightness in your stomach.

“You’re up.” The stage hand motioned for you to go through the curtain they held open.

You walked out quickly on stage and met Lucifer where your dance was to begin.

If you hadn’t been studying him so closely, you would’ve never seen the small grin that crept onto his lips before quickly disappearing. When you reached him, he almost looked smug.

Once in position, you had one hand in his and one on his back by his shoulder. His other hand was wrapped around your upper torso, holding you close to him. He leaned down slightly until his lips were near your ear.

“Now I understand why the dress was such a secret.” He whispered pulling you a little closer, that smug grin returning.

You blushed. Hard.

Your performance was perfect, and every step was precise. It was like you two had been dancing together forever. He kept his composure for the most part, but when he could get away with it, a tiny glimpse of that smug smile would return. Mostly during the moments of the routine with the closest contact. You died a little internally at the end of the routine when your ending stance caused your leg to be fully exposed due to the insane slit in it. You face turned red when you saw that Lucifer had noticed, causing him to chuckle at you lightly.

A few days after the festival, you had been holed up for what seemed like forever, studying for an upcoming test. You decided to take a break and wandered to the kitchen for a snack.

Having found something to hold you over until breakfast in the morning, you made your way out of the kitchen. Coming from the opposite way, down the hall, there was the faint sound of music. You checked you D.D.D.

1:13 am.

You followed the the faint sound to the music room.

Lucifer was sat in a chair with a drink in one hand. His back was toward the door, so he didn’t see you contemplating on going in or not. After a minute of your inner turmoil, he spoke.

“Instead of sneaking, why don’t you come in?”

You quietly walked in and sat in the chair a few feet from him.

You talked for a bit about this and that, when the song changed. He sat his glass on the small table between your chairs, and stood up. He held his hand out to you.

“What?” You asked curiously.

“Dance with me.”

It made you giggle. “It’s almost 2am, Lucifer.”

He just stood there, hand stuck out, smiling.

You caved and took his hand, butterflies flooding your stomach.

Not sure if it was because you’ve already danced together or the change in your relationship over the past week, but it seemed so natural. Just moving together in harmony, as if it’d always been this way. It was slow, almost intimate with no particular style. He held you close. His grip was firm, but strangely gentle.

“So, we should get to work now, for our routine next year.” He stated.

“Our routine? You’re partner will be better way before then. You won’t need me.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I must admit, you really know your stuff. You were quite the partner.” He stopped moving and looked at you, breaking his hold slightly but still keeping you close.

“I rather enjoyed seeing you at the end of my arm.” His voice softer than just a second ago. “Being so close” he continued, pulling you closer to him. He leaned down slightly, “In that dress.”

You looked away, too nervous to meet his gaze. Your heart heart hammered in your rib cage.

Damn your stupid face for betraying you by turning an undiscovered shade of red! Damn it to ...well, here.

Placing one gloved finger under your chin, he tilted your head back slightly to look at him again. His attention shifted between your eyes and your lips, as he slowly leaned in. Your breath hitched in your throat. With a burst of courage that came from who knows where, you went onto your tip toes and met him halfway, planting your lips to his, sending a shiver down your spine.

Those stupid butterflies are back.

You could hear a small gasp escape from him. Your sudden rashness was unexpected.

He pulled you closer and now had a more firm hold. One hand on your waist, and the other entwined in your hair.

The kiss was passionate. Your lips moved together harmoniously. Your heart was beating so fast you just knew he could hear it.

You weren’t aware how long the two of you stayed like that, but when Lucifer finally pulled away, you weren’t ready for it to end. He laughed lightly, and you noticed his cheeks were slightly pink.

“If that’s how it’s always going to end, I’ll ask you to dance at 2am more often.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #lucifer x mc #lucifer fluff

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vodkaxtonic · 4 years

Note

Hello there! If it tickles your fancy, could you write a Zuko x reader one shot?? Like a college au thing and they’re doing a group project together haha

Journey Of Love •Zuko x Reader•

This took really long and I put a lot of effort into it! Feedback is appreciated! And, I kinda went off the request but still tried to keep the main thing of the request, I hope that's okay!

Warnings: fluff, slow burn, humor, cussing

Wordcount: 9.5K

The first week in the Ba sing se University should be calm, merely to get used to the school, gather all your supplies, wander around the University, to make sure you won't get lost on the real first day, and decorate your dorm room. Or so you thought.

The first thing that went completely wrong were the people that should've brought your stuff from home to the University, to make your room more home-ish and make you feel welcome. They went to the wrong fucking University and left your furniture, decor, and paintings, etc. on their doorstep, which then got stolen. Which means you were in an empty dorm, only two beds, and two closets decorating your room, nothing to make you feel home. Your things, decor, etc. were homey to you, keeping you from being homesick, but now? Now you felt lost, basically half of your identity lost with the furniture, books, and clothes that got stolen. Now the only thing people would see was another firebender; you just wanted to be yourself in the time you were here. You had bought different clothes and shipped them with the other stuff, and now the only thing you had in your suitcase was traditional Fire Nation attire.

The second thing that ruined your week was your professor. Every other professor was going in small steps, slowly introducing their students into the subject they chose to study. But yours? Hell, no. Professor Huang jumped right into projects, even though you haven't learned anything yet. Maybe art wasn't such an appealing subject to study after all.

The last thing that completely ruined your week? You had to hand in a project in a week, an abstract piece of art that described love, with a whole essay as to why those exact things reminded you of love and how it changed your perspective. All of the material you were using had to be foundable around the city, whether in the local market or on a deserted field in the second ring of Ba sing se. But the absolute best thing was your partner that you got assigned with wasn't even in the lecture! You had to do everything on your own, and honestly, you were considering if jumping out of your third-floor dorm room window was more uncomplicated than the first week.

Now you were scurrying through the hallways of your new University, just wanting to go to your room and fall into bed. You needed the nap after getting yelled at by your professor for saying that love was a social construct to make us less lonely, a social construct to make us feel like we are more than a tiny pawn in a big game of chess played by the universe. Well, your professor didn't like that at all, even though he had said the first day that he enjoyed a critical view of different perspectives of the world and emotions. Well, everything except love.

You walked around the corner, your books dropping to the ground as you lifted your hands, blocking the flames that came your way out of instinct. "What the actual fuck?!" You yelled, now the last bit of calmness in your body disappeared, and you were on the verge of absolutely setting this place ablaze. "I thought you were my sister--" "I don't give a fuck! You could've seriously hurt someone! Who the fuck do you think you are?" You yelled, your heart still beating way too fast, you felt like you just bent with lightning. Your skin felt like it got ignited, your fingers shaking and sparking with tiny flames fire. "You don't know who I am?" He asked rather shocked as he stood up straight, his face filled by surprise. "Should I know you? Your mom and dad probably bought you your education, and you're just here because it's their dream for you, but you don't give a fuck, and they'll end up having to buy you your University degree too, you entitled stupid prat!" You decided to let your anger out on the stranger, your hands balled to fists, and between your fingers escaped black smoke, slowly dissolving in the air. The stranger looked taken aback as he watched you for a few seconds. "This right here was your biggest mistake, honey." "Fuck you." You spat back as you picked up your books, storming past him into your dorm room. "Well, that's a pleasant way to meet the people next door." You heard his faint voice in the hallway, and you could imagine the sly smirk on his face. You exhaled deeply through your nose, black smoke covering your vision for a second before you slammed the door shut, the ground vibrating at the force. A frustrated groan escaped your mouth as you walked towards your bed. "So, you met Zuko?" Your head snapped toward the girl that was sitting on the second bed in the room that was previously unoccupied, and only now, you saw that her whole wall decorated with circus posters. Another groan escaped your mouth as you dropped onto your bed, covering your head with a pillow. This week felt like a big stupid fucking joke. "I'm Ty Lee, by the way." The girl was nice, you figured. However, you were in a bad mood. "Y/n." You mumbled into your pillow, still loud enough for her to hear. "Do you need a hug?" She asked, a frown covering her mouth as she picked up on your bad mood. "I need quietness and a nap." You answered, your voice cold as you turned your back to her and pulled your duvet over you. You needed a break right now to make sure you wouldn't commit arson. Your patience was gone, and the first week of University was probably the worst one in history.

The next day started worse than the days before. You slept in, now running down the hallways of the Uni with bed hair and the clothes you had slept in, a red satin top and red long satin pants. You didn't want to be late in your first week, what kind of impression would that leave, especially on Professor Huang. Your feet took you down the corridors, and finally, you found your lecture room, and you burst in, making everyone turn to you. "I am so sorry, Professor Huang, I--" "Go take a seat, Ms. Y/L/N." You nodded, your head bowed in shame as your eyes scanned the packed lecture room. The room was almost overflowing with students, leaving only a few seats free, the some that were free got blocked by the bags of the students. When you finally spotted an empty chair, you inhaled deeply, quickly making your way over. You were pretty sure your face was a deep shade of crimson red, the whole situation uncomfortable and embarrassing. Without looking further, you dropped your bag next to the table, sitting down in the chair in the very first row. "Hello again." Your whole body tensed at the voice beside you. "I'm glad you found the seat beside your project partner, Ms. Y/L/N." Professor Huang said, and your jaw almost kissed the ground. "Professor Huang, is there any way I can do the project on my own?" You pleaded as you looked at your Mr. Huang, hoping that batting your eyelashes would help. "I'm sorry, Ms. Y/L/N. I put you and prince Zuko in the same group for a reason. You both grew up in the Fire Nation, he grew up in royalty and you in poverty. I want to know the different perspectives on how you perceive love." Your teeth ground painfully against each other as you stared at your Mr. Huang. "A simple no would've been fine." You tried to stay as calm as you could, hoping to forget that he just told the whole lecture that you grew up in poverty and the fact that you insulted a prince. "Anyway, Ms. Y/L/N, we just talked about the projects. How is your and prince Zuko's coming together?" You gulped the lump in your throat down as you looked at Mr. Huang. "I started gathering some things for the project already, but I didn't start putting them on the canvas." He only nodded before continuing the lecture, not giving you a second glance. With a quiet whine, you let your head fall onto your books, and you could hear Zuko chuckle. This day wasn't going as good as you hoped it'd be.

"Meet me at six in the library." You said to him without looking at him, putting away your books as you stood up. "Why not in your room or mine? I mean, our rooms are right next to each other." Zuko asked as he stood up. "Because I don't want you in my room, and I'm not going to your room." You answered, heaving your bag over your shoulders before walking out of the room, leaving Zuko on his own.

PROJECT LOVE DAY 1/4

You sat in the library, your foot tapping against the wooden ground in rhythm as you read a book you had snatched from one of the shelves. You decided to be there a little earlier than planned, wanting to have some quiet time from your roommate before meeting Zuko. You liked Ty Lee, but the girl never knew when to stop talking, and if you went to the library already annoyed, you knew this wouldn't end very well. However, Zuko still managed to be late, which was no surprise. In your eyes, he was a spoiled brat.

You didn't bother to look up from your book when the chair across of you screeched over the ground, earning dirty glances from the other students that studied in the library. "Can you at least look at me?" Zuko's voice was laced with annoyance as he looked at you, but you just turned to the next page. "You're late." You stated to obvious, not being able to concentrate on the sentence with Zuko's intense stare. "Sorry, princess, I have other things to do than doing this project with you." He muttered, making you huff as you closed the book. Your eyebrows furrowed when you realized he was empty-handed. "It's our grade, you idiot. Also, where the hell is your stuff?" "What stuff?" He furrowed his eyebrows, and you couldn't help but groan at his oblivious behavior. "The things that remind us of love, you know, the stuff. I can't and won't do this project on my own, your highness." Your voice layered with annoyance, anger, and plain mockery. You didn't give two flying fucks that he was royalty, in Ba Sing Se Zuko was simply another student, equal to you and not above you.

Zuko crossed his arms, leaning back in the chair, face grimaced by anger. He kept quiet, and you wondered where his snarky remark was. "Do you even have things that remind you of any kind of affection? Like, anything?" You asked as your mind caught up with what was going on. He probably didn't receive a lot of affection due to his royal descended. The Fire Nation was a nation of no emotion but anger, which had troubled you a lot growing up. You never seemed to fit in with them, one of the many reasons you wanted to go to Ba Sing Se to study instead of the Fire Nation.

He didn't answer, and that was answer enough for you as you sighed, standing up. His eyes followed every move you made with a way of alertness that scared you a bit. You put your book back where you got it from, before walking back to the table and putting away the canvas that was on the table. With a quiet groan, you heaved the bag over your shoulder, starting to walk towards the exit, before turning around. Zuko hadn't moved an inch, though, his head turned as he looked at you over his shoulder. "Are you waiting for a written invitation?" You asked, rolling your eyes as you watched him standing up, not caring to wait for him as you left the library, breathing in the warm evening air. "Where are we going?" Zuko asked as he came up beside you, but your eyes locked on the sunset. You watched the pink in the sky that mixed with the reds and oranges as if they always have belonged together, despite their differences. You grinned, your eyes quickly glancing towards the prince that looked weirdly attractive in the pink lightning that shun upon him. "Finding the path of love. But first some food, I'm starving."

Soon you found both of you standing in front of a restaurant. "Something against spicy chicken noodle soup?" You asked, raising your eyebrows. It was just politeness, you would go in there alone, but he was with you, so it was polite to ask. "Nope." He shrugged, following your suit as you walked inside. "A table for two," you said to the waitress that stood at the door as she greeted you. As soon as her gaze fell upon Zuko, her cheeks heated up, and she started fiddling with the menus in her hand nervously, her other hands running through her jet black hair. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. He wasn't that attractive, you thought, but maybe you thought that because your first encounter was heated, and you didn't mean your anger issue problem.

"So, what is love by your definition?" You asked as you waited for your food to cool down, not wanting to burn yourself even though you had a high pain tolerance towards hot things. It's the firebender genes. "Strictness, dominance, god-complex." He shrugged, not caring that his food was hot. You knew that he was eating to keep him from answering your questions, which annoyed you even more. "You have a shit perspective of love." You muttered, taking a sip of your black tea, eyeing the prince. Right now, he didn't seem like the royal pratt you had met, just like a normal boy you went to a restaurant with, a friend even. However, you knew differently. He could be an asshole, an arrogant one if he wanted to, but right now, he wasn't, and you were more than glad. "What's love by your definition?" He asked, mouth full, and you grimaced a bit. That wasn't royal behavior, but you shrugged it off. "For me, love is little things. I grew up in a harsh environment, not a lot of money. Little things like my mother remembering my favorite fruit and buying it when she had leftover money, or my sister crafting me a necklace from pretty stones she had found by the lake near our property, or my father saving money up for me to buy new clothes. It wasn't a lot, but it showed their affection towards me." You said, a smile covering your lips as you remembered your family. If it wouldn't have been for the poverty, the struggle of getting money to have food on the table and days going without it, your family would've been perfect. "I didn't even get that." He scoffed as he stopped eating, his eyes gazing over the people that passed the restaurant. "I mean, I had plenty of money all my life. I should've been happy, I had food, I had clothes and my family bought me anything I wanted. But money doesn't buy love and money doesn't buy happiness. Your family held together, even in tough times. Mine was scattered all over the place, trying to buy the lack of affection they were showing. A story to bawl to, isn't it?" Zuko immediately wanted to take back what he had said, knowing that he went in too deep. He doesn't know you, and now he spilled his traumatic and lonely childhood with you, and he couldn't help but be jealous of you. He'd rather have no money and a family than money and no family. And you couldn't help but feel sorry for him, not knowing that being royal means being lonely, but you were pretty sure it was his family and not because he was a royal. His family was dysfunctional, whether with or without money.

You finished your bowl of chicken noodle soup in silence, which felt like it was suffocating both of you. "Can we get the check, please?" Zuko asked the waitress that came to your table. You started digging through your bag. "I'll get it." "No!" You exclaimed, voice stern as you got out the money, taking Zuko's shock to your advantage as you paid, keeping the check. "I could've paid for that," Zuko said as he stood up, and following you out of the restaurant into the night that had set over Ba Sing Se. "Love doesn't only come from family, but also friends. It's paying for someone else, little acts of kindness, and when they stack up upon each other, you'll look back to it and realize it's a form of love." You said as you looked up into the night sky, seeing endless stars covering the sky. "Doesn't mean we're friends, but I can be a kind person if I'm not getting a blast of fire shot at my face."

PROJECT LOVE DAY 2/4

You were once again waiting in the library, the same book from yesterday in your hand. To your surprise, Zuko managed to show up on time as he sat down across you, a weirdly happy expression on his face as you put down your book. "What is it, Mr. Hotpants?" You asked, the random nickname coming to your mind, and you decided to just roll with it, realizing it was a huge mistake. "So, you think I'm hot?" Zuko smirked, his ego blasting through the roof as you rolled your eyes. "Hot because firbender--Nevermind, why are you so happy?" You decided to not defend yourself, way too tired from your work shift after the lecture. It was a small job, helping out in a small grocery store, but it was still exhausting, especially with studying. "I planned the day!" He grinned excitedly. "For what?" You furrowed your eyebrows, tiredly rubbing your eyes. "Our journey to find love!" He said a little too loud, and you couldn't help but blush as you realized the people that sent smiles your way. "I think I found mine, but I'm up for whatever you planned to find yours." You shrugged with a smile, standing up as you followed him.

That wasn't the same Zuko from two days ago. Not the cocky, arrogant Zuko. It also wasn't the Zuko from yesterday, the one that opened up to you a bit, showing you his vulnerable state and his lonely past. No, this was today's Zuko, who seemed to be giddy, a childish like the behavior you couldn't help but adore as he pulled you down the street by the sleeve of your jacket. "Wow, calm down there!" You couldn't help but laugh as you stumbled behind him, trying not to trip. "Close your eyes." He stopped in his tracks, making you bump into his back, stumbling back a bit. "Do you think we're at that stage of trust?" You raised your eyebrows, a small smile on your face as you watched him pout. "Come on! It's for 20 seconds." He pleaded, and you gave in, closing your eyes, and he walked behind you, his hands on your shoulders as he guided you to a more lively part of town, the chattering of people filling up your ears. "Where are we going?" "Journey of love, I told you!" Zuko exclaimed, not wanting to give it away.

Zuko grabbed your shoulders a bit more tightly as he stopped, keeping you from stumbling into the people that passed you. "Open your eyes." So, you did, and for a few seconds, you were speechless as you looked through the street. You looked at the many people that walked beside you, some of them couples, fresh in a relationship and happy with their significant other, others with friends, laughing as they walked the street in groups and old married couples that wanted to take a stroll, happily smiling at each other. "We are at the town festival." You beamed, as you looked around, looking at the different shops around you, some of them having cans stacked for people to throw over, the prizes stuffed animals and little toys. Others sold foods from all over the world, a puppet show for children, firebenders making a fire show, earthbenders changing rocks into animals, waterbenders selling healing water, and offering free healing for the people in need. It was breathtaking. "I figured this was a great place to go find the path of love. Couples come here, friends come here, even people that mistake a stranger for their sister and send a fireball their way come here." You both chuckled at the last part, and you shook your head. "I can't remember the last time I was at a town festival." You smiled, but you couldn't help but frown afterward. Your family never had enough money to come to a place like this, so the only thing you could do was walk through the streets as a child, wondering why every other family could afford this, but not yours. Only later you realized, it wasn't only saddening you, but also your parents. They wanted to give their daughters everything in life but had no money to do so.

"Come on, we are not just going to look at others having fun!" Zuko urged you, and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and amusement as he joyfully wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you along through the crowd of people. "What do you want to do first?" "Oh Zuko, I don't have any money with me-" You stumbled over your words, embarrassed as you tried to explain that you left your money in your drawer in the dorm, but he cut you off. "No worries, my treat." He gave you an encouraging smile. "Little acts of kindness will stack upon each other, and looking back at it, you will realize that it is a form of love." He said as he tried to quote your words from yesterday, making you smile a bit. You didn't think he'd even remember any of the words you said, the unheard words you usually recited inside your head.

"Is this a journey of love?" Zuko asked as he took a bite of the extra spicey fried duck, a Fire Nation national dish. Everything was a Fire Nation dish if it was spicy enough. You decided that you didn't want to suffer twice, so you stuck with a traditional Water Tribe fish soup with water plumbs. "Is it for you? Do you feel loved, like a warm feeling making itself present within your chest, making you feel all giddy?" You asked as you looked at Zuko. You liked this Zuko. For once, he seemed like he was genuinely happy, no cocky grin and no snarky remarks, just pure joy filling every atom of his body. "I do, but I'm not sure if it's the spicy duck or that we're here today." He chuckled, and you smiled as you gave the man behind the counter your empty bowl, thanking him as Zuko paid for both of you. "You know, this is something I never could enjoy with my family. My father used to say that the royal people were too good to be in town with people like this." Zuko said as he eyed the crowd, a humble smile on his face. "He was wrong. It's amazing. It makes you feel like you're alive for once, that your future is not set by the family you were born in. It makes you feel like you're apart of something bigger than yourself. That you have a purpose in your life."

In silence, you walked back to the University, but you didn't mind. It gave you time to think, and you had to admit, you started liking Zuko's company. Your eyes glanced over to the throne prince, who seemed to be a normal teenage boy for once, walking beside you, his feet kicking small rocks through the street. You couldn't tell if it was your tiredness speaking, or the fact that you were still too euphoric, but as you glanced at him, something inside you warmed up. Something about his face lit by the yellow lighting of the lanterns, the way a soft, small smile covered his face when he managed to kick one of the stones against a lantern post, was different. You were intrigued by him, and every second you kept looking at him, he seemed to get even more handsome. You weren't quite sure what to think about you thinking that way, but you didn't mind it too much. It was because you were tired, you figured. You almost hoped. If this isn't going to fade tomorrow, you know it'd bite you in the ass later.

"Wait!" Zuko stopped you from entering your room, your door already halfway open as you turned back around, your face filled with confusion. He rummaged through his pocket, before fishing out a green satin bag with the Earth Kingdom sigil on it, handing it to you. "What is it?" You asked, confused as you felt the bag, not having a clue what it was. "A surprise." He grinned as he walked towards his door. "Why?" You asked, now making him turn around, his hand on the door handle. "No reason." Again, the soft smile that seemed to melt your insides as he stepped inside his room, leaving you alone in the hallway.

You entered your room, closing the door behind you and lighting a fire in your hand, expecting the bag in your other palm. "What is that?" You flinched as Ty Lee came up to you, her face filled by curiosity. "I don't know yet." You answered, truthfully, as you walked over to your bed, lighting the candle on your bedside table. "Who gave it to you?" Ty Lee questioned as she took a seat beside you on your bed, and you looked at her. "Zuko." You muttered, and you could imagine the way her face lightened up. "Open it, open it!" She urged you, and you snickered as you opened the satin bag, pulling out a little stone figure. It was smooth between your fingers, precisely made. "It's a turtleduck." Ty Lee said in awe as she took it in between her fingers. "You must mean a lot to him if he gave you this." Ty Lee smiled, giving you the little figure. "Why?" You questioned. Zuko said he gave you this for no reason, so why would you mean a lot to him if he gave you this. Ty Lee stood up with a sigh, walking over to her bed and sat down. She gazed at you, but it seemed like she was in her world when she started speaking. "Back in the palace, they have a garden. They have a pond with a turtleduck family. Zuko and his mother used to feed them together all the time. It's a precious memory for him. Usually, he gets irritated when you bring this up because he misses his mother. She left him at a very young age." Ty Lee explained, and you gaped at her. "It's not something usual for Zuko to do, the whole present thing. But even more unusual is that he gave you a part of his most precious memories." Ty Lee leaned back in her bed and covered herself in her duvet, before chirping a goodnight and turning around, leaving you stunned. You changed into your pajamas before returning into your bed, snuffing out the candle, leaving you in complete darkness as your fingers still fiddled with the stone figure, taking in every edge and corner of it. You couldn't help but wonder as to why Zuko would give you something so close to his heart, so close to his safe place as you started falling into a deep slumber.

PROJECT LOVE DAY 3/4

Your foot tapped against the wooden ground of the library impatiently. This morning after the lecture, you and Zuko had agreed to meet earlier than usual since falling asleep that late took a toll on your concentration. He agreed, but now you waited in the library for over an hour, and your patience was running low.

After another thirty minutes passing, you groaned quietly, cursing under your breath as you went to the dorms. You wouldn't let Zuko get away with this. With heavy footsteps, you walked over to his room, your fingers loudly knocking against the door. Suprise filled your face as a boy you didn't know opened the door, his desperate eyes filling with relief as he saw you. "Thank god, you're here. You're y/n, right?" You raised your eyebrows, nodding. "Zuko was threatening to roast me like a winged pig if I didn't hurry to the library to tell you that he wouldn't be able to make it. Thank god you're here, though! Now you can take care of him!" The boy dashed past you with a grateful smile, leaving you in a door stunned before you heard a faint 'Sokka, you jerk!' from inside the room. Slowly you opened the door, and your eyes met Zuko's pale body, he laid in his bed, shirtless, shivering, a thin layer of sweat covering his body as weak groans left his mouth. He looked at you, opening his mouth, but before he could say something, he leaned over the bucket beside his bed, vomiting. Your anger vanished as you speed walked over to him, kneeling beside him as you rubbed your warm hand over his sweaty back, but you couldn't care less about that. Your other hand found it's way to his long hair, holding it out of his face as he groaned in pain, his back muscles flexing under your hand. A frown covered your face as he finally stopped, now laying back into his bed, wiping his mouth with a cloth that settled on his bedside table. "You shouldn't see me like this." His voice was low as he turned to the side, not only because it would be easier to reach the bucket but because he craved to see your face. The worry in your eyes made his heart warm up. He couldn't exactly explain why. "Do you think you could survive thirty minutes without me?"

After you got Zuko's approval and provided him with water, and an emptied bucket, you raced out of the door into your room, taking a weaved basket off of the top of your closet. "Where are you going?" Ty Lee asked her arm wrapped around her girlfriend you had met this morning, Mai, by her side. Ty Lee was right, Mai did look like she had no emotions. "I need to get some stuff from the market. I need to take care of Zuko." You answered, now both Ty Lee and Mai intrigued. "What's wrong with him?" Mai asked as she raised her eyebrows in question. "I don't know he's not feeling too well, basically barfing his guts out." You answered with a frown. Of course, you felt unwell, leaving him on his own, but you wanted to get some things that made you feel better when you were sick, and maybe it'd make him feel better, too. "We can join you, so you get back faster." Ty Lee proposed after she saw your face filled with distress. "You would do that?" You asked, hopeful. Things would go much faster, and that meant you wouldn't have to leave him on his own for too long. "Of course, right Mai?" "I guess."

You gave everyone a list of things they'd have to get, and you guys split up, roaming over the marketplace and the shops surrounding it. You walked past the fruits and came to a halt in front of your favorite fruit, watermelon. You picked a smaller one, paying for it before making your way over the market. Maybe, just maybe, this was the little safe memory you could share with Zuko after he had shared one with you, even though you weren't quite aware of it. Your mother's remedy that always nursed you back to health.

"We got everything you asked us for, and do you know how nice I had to be for the man in the teashop to lend you the teapot?" Mai said, and you thanked her as you put the teapot inside your weaved basket, hoping it wouldn't spill. "And I got the bowl of chicken soup, careful it's hot!" You also thanked Ty Lee as she smiled brightly at you. "Thank you, guys. You don't know how much I appreciate it." You thanked them, and you were genuine. "I get it, you worry about him. We're happy to help." Ty Lee exclaimed with a soft smile, her hand resting on your upper arm. "She's happy to help, I tolerate it." You nodded towards Mai, noting the ghost of a smile on her face.

Your knuckles lightly knocked against Zuko's door, but the only thing you got met with was silence. Slowly you opened the door, flinching as Ty Lee carefully put the two last things you had asked her to get inside the basket. You gave her a thankful nod before slipping through the gap of the door, closing it behind you. You noted Zuko's slow breathing, and you were happy that he was sleeping instead of puking his guts out. You placed the basket onto the ground, walking over to Zuko. As your eyes roamed over his body, you frowned. He looked a lot paler than he already was, body covered in sweat as he turned, grunting in pain. With a small sigh escaping your mouth, you took the water bucket Sokka had left, taking one of the fresh clothes that settled on his bedside table. You proceeded to drench the cloth before walking over to Zuko, taking the lukewarm one from his forehead, throwing it on the ground. You grabbed another piece of fabric and soaked it with water, starting to dab his chest and neck a bit.

"You're back." Zuko's voice was raspy as he looked at you, your eyes glancing over to his face before you continued trying to cool down his burning body. "How long was I sleeping?" "Not long, I only came here a minute ago, and I left ten minutes ago." You said as you dropped the fabric next to the other one. "How are you feeling?" You asked, the back of your hand pressing against his cheek, but he was still burning up, and it worried you. "Like a flying bison crushed me." He chuckled weakly, his eyes following you as you walked over to the basket. "I got you some things to nurse you back to health. Well, at least it helped me." You shrugged with a smile as you walked over. Zuko could have sworn something inside him was alive, his stomach felt all...fluttery? It was weird, and he didn't know what to think about it. "Why?" He asked, and he was seriously curious. You knew each other for six days now, and one and a half of them Zuko was a total dick, and now you were worried sick about him. "Because taking care of someone who is sick is another form of showing affection." You smiled, and you were glad that the room was dimly lit, else he would've seen the blush that crept up your face. You never blushed, what the hell was wrong to with you? "And because you showed me a part of one of the happiest memories in your life, even though I was completely unaware of it, so now I'm showing you mine." Zuko smiled softly before his face turned to confusion, then to annoyance. "Ty Lee." He muttered, his face burning up, and you pretended not to see it.

Your arm tucked a bit under Zuko as you helped him to move up a bit. He was too weak to eat by himself, every bone in his body aching, and every muscle strained. Of course, it embarrassed him a bit. He wanted to eat by himself and do everything you were doing for him by himself, but he physically couldn't. "Wait!" You said more to yourself as you put the steaming bowl onto the ground, rummaging through the basket until your hand grasped a small container that Ty Lee had slipped inside the basket. "What's that?" He asked as you opened the container, the smell of eucalyptus filling up the room. "It's something my mother uses when I'm sick. It's a homemade balm." You took a big glop of the balm, putting the container on the ground before rubbing it between your palms. Hesitantly you pressed one of your palms onto his chest, stopping when his muscles tensed, looking at him, but he only nodded, signaling you to keep going. You proceeded to cover his chest and back with it, covering him with a blanket. "Is it supposed to get warm?" Zuko panicked a bit as his eyes tried to find yours, but you were busy cleaning your hands. Getting this into your eyes hurt like a bitch. "Yes, that's the whole magic." You grinned, before taking a seat on the bed with the bowl, as you started spoon-feeding him.

The more Zuko's eyes laid on you, the more he felt himself falling. Falling for you. He wasn't sure if he wanted this, you made him feel warm, happy, and everything he wasn't without you. But the thought of you leaving someday, taking those feelings with you, shredded his heart. On the other hand, Zuko always expected the worst. Zuko never knew anything else than the feeling of anger, of forced narcissism to hide his vulnerability and pain behind, and loneliness. But seeing you giving a part of your day solely to him, to make him feel better, made him feel things he couldn't describe even if he wanted to. He also figured you probably weren't feeling the same things he did, and Zuko wondered maybe if he wouldn't have wanted to play that stupid prank on Azula if you both would've met on good terms.

"Did you brew that yourself?" Zuko asked out of curiosity as you got the teapot out of the basket, filling it into a mug you had found inside Zuko's bedside table. "Oh, god no. I wouldn't know how to brew tea correctly if my life depended on it." You chuckled before holding the warm, still steamy mug out for him. After the soup, he had regained some strength and had insisted on drinking the tea by himself. After a lot of arguing and 'don't come crying to me if you spill it and burn yourself,' you agreed. Zuko's face twisted into disgust as he took a sip of the tea. "What the fuck is that?" "Unsweetened lemon ginger tea. I know it's awful, but it's even more awful with sugar, and it helps." You reassured him. He gave you a skeptical look, but you had gotten it, so he would down it, even if it tasted like straight-up acid. "That's where the watermelon comes in!" You grinned as you got out the watermelon, starting to cut it, and Zuko looked even more confused. "It takes away the disgusting taste of the tea, and it's refreshing." Your smile was soft as you gave him a piece of it. You were right. It felt amazing, going down his throat, and even the tea tasted delicious with it.

"Is someone getting tired?" You smiled warmly at Zuko, kneeling beside his bed as he looked at you through half-opened eyes. "Maybe." He chuckled, tiredly rubbing his eyes. "Go to sleep I'll stay here for a bit and tomorrow you'll feel like you've been reborn." You chuckled as you rummaged through your basket, getting out the book you had asked Ty Lee to get from the library. "Is that the book you read in the library?" Zuko asked, tired eyes squinting at the cover of the book, trying to make sense of the letters. "Yes, I quite like it, and it kills time." "Read it to me." For a second, you gaped at Zuko, and he felt instant regret and embarrassment. "Never-" "Okay." You smiled, a smile that told him not to worry about it, that you didn't find his request weird.

Zuko lifted his head, head tilted slightly, a non-verbal invitation for you to sit down and replace your thighs with the pillow. And the way he was looking at you, so lovingly, calm and innocent, you couldn't deny him anything right now as you sat down, and he made himself comfortable on top of your legs as you leaned your back against the wall, opening the book. "Where should I start?" You asked, voice soft as you looked down at him, seeing him blink slowly, as tiredness started to fill every ounce of his body. He felt safe and comfortable with you, now the drowsiness that usually hit after three hours of tossing and turning, hitting him within a minute. "I don't care." He muttered, struggling to keep his eyes open, words slightly slurred. "I just like listening to your voice."

So, you started reading aloud and even kept reading after his breaths were even, face peacefully nuzzled into the soft fabric of your pants, one of his hands tucked between your thigh and his head. You kept reading for a few more hours, in silence, sometimes glancing outside to see the sun going down. When you realized that it was too dark to read, but still not quite too dark yet, you put the book away, your gaze once again roaming over Zuko's softened features highlighted by the sun that was starting to set. He looked angelic like he did not worry about anything in the world. A faint smile formed itself upon your lips as you let your finger, just as light as a breeze, caress his cheek. Your smile widened when he scrunched up his nose, burying his face even more in your thighs.

That was when you realized it. You were falling. You were falling hard and fast, with no way to stop it. No way to brace yourself for impact, no way to brace your heart for collision with reality. You sighed deeply, silently cursing yourself within your mind for your emotions, but when you gazed back down to him. Your eyelids started feeling heavy as you watched Zuko, heart filled with warmth. Maybe falling for him wasn't the worst thing in the world, you figured before you closed your eyes, letting yourself slip into a deep slumber.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, you felt someone moving you, and you opened your eyes tiredly. Your eyes met with Zuko's eyes, which seemed to glow golden even in the middle of the night. You were still too drowsy to form a proper sentence, only a slurred 'what' escaping your mouth. "You seemed uncomfortable, so I moved you down a bit." He whispered, making sure he wouldn't wake you up properly. You only let out a hum of approval, eyes heavy as you made grabbing motions toward him, a lazy smile plastered over your face, and he chuckled lowly. Zuko couldn't help but smile at your behavior; you were just too adorable. With a heavy sigh, he laid down beside you, and you didn't waste a second, your head finding its way to his chest, arm wrapped over his abdomen and legs entangled. The warmth radiating from his body made it hard for you to keep your eyes open. "Do you feel better?" or at least something like that left your mouth, along with slurred nonsense, but Zuko understood you. "Yes, I'm doing better." He muttered, his arm wrapped around your back and his arm settling at the curve of your waist, and you finally closed your eyes, only mumbling a 'good' before you slipped right back into your slumber.

PROJECT LOVE DAY 4/4

"Oh my god, this is the cutest thing!" "I didn't know Zuko had a soft side to him." "This is disgustingly adorable." "Stop, you guys are going to wake them up!" "He looks so peaceful, I want to smack him." Zuko slowly opened his eyes, squinting a bit at the sun rays that entered the room before his gaze rested upon the owners of the voices. To his luck, mark the sarcasm, the whole Gaang, including Suki, stood in the room. Zuko slowly moved up, holding himself up with his elbow, before rolling his eyes, letting himself fall back with a loud groan. "You brought everyone, didn't you, Sokka," Zuko stated the obvious, you moved a bit, and only now Zuko remembered that you were in bed with him, guilt immediately making its way to his mind. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." His voice lowered significantly, as he looked at you, you nuzzling your face in his chest, a sigh escaping your mouth before lifting your head again as you opened your eyes. "What the actual fuck?" You whispered as your voice croaked, the only familiar face was Sokka who stood in front of the bed with a smile, a girl tucked to his side. "Did I miss something?" You muttered, sitting up, slouching as you rubbed your tired eyes, not fully comprehending what was going on. "Not really, I just walked in here and thought this was the cutest shit ever and got all of my and Zuko's friends to see that Zuko is capable of liking someone." You furrowed your eyebrows, face twisted in confusion and tiredness. "Next time you pay for that shit, I'm not doing anything for free." You muttered as Zuko sat up beside you, lucky that you weren't as mad as he thought you might be. "Mind introducing yourselves?" You asked, your eyes slowly adjusting to the brightness as you eyed the group, and everyone started talking at the same time, making you groan. "I need tea before starting with this mess." You muttered to yourself, swinging your legs over Zuko's, and you shivered a bit as your feet hit the ground, your balance slightly off.

You walked past the group, out of Zuko's room towards your room. Ty Lee had your daily dose of caffeine, black tea. She, by far, made the best black tea you ever tasted, and you couldn't help but scrounge a cup of black tea every morning. You opened the door, seeing Mai laying in Ty Lee's bed, her clothes all over the place while she slept tightly, silent snores escaping her mouth. "Good morning." Ty Lee smiled as she walked over to you, giving you a steaming hot cup of tea, with two scoops of sugar and a splash of milk. "I see you had a good night?" You smirked, taking a sip of your tea. "Yeah, you didn't come home last night, so..." Ty Lee's cheeks were flushed while you smiled at her. "I'm happy for you, Ty Lee. But stay away from my bed, that's a no go." You warned her with a soft smile, and she smiled back, nodding eagerly. You walked back towards the door before turning back to her. "Don't you dare to go near the desk." "Maybe you should've told me that before..." "Ty Lee!"

You went back to Zuko's room, making a mental note to wipe down the desk four times before ever sitting at it again. "You guys are still here?" You asked as you saw the whole group standing in the room, Zuko's cheeks flushed as he hid his face in his hands. "What did you guys do to him?" You asked with a sly smirk, leaning against the bedframe. "We just...asked some questions." Sokka's wiggling eyebrows told you everything you needed to know. "Okay guys, get out of here. I promise Zuko will tell you everything you need to know, but right now I want steamy, hot and sweaty morning sex without any visitors, thank you, bye!" You exclaimed with a grin, shoving the group out of the door, ignoring their disapproving and disgusting sounds as you shut the door in their face, locking it. With a grin, you turned to Zuko, who looked at you, his jaw almost kissing the ground. "You just made this all way worse than it was!" He whisper-yelled as he tugged his hair, but he couldn't keep the smile hidden that tugged at the corners of his mouth. "They're too noisy too early in the morning, and they already think something is going on, so." You shrugged as you walked over to him, sitting down beside him and leaning against the wall before taking a sip of your tea. He leaned against the wall beside you, his head turning to you, and you looked at him, eyebrows raised as he smirked at you, one eyebrow raised. "Was that an invitation for sex back there?" "You wish."

Since you and Zuko didn't have a lecture today, you decide to spend the last day of your 'journey of love' together, trying to find the last little pieces that reminded you of love throughout the city. You knew it was barely any use anymore since you went over the things you perceived as love this morning, finding you had all things for it gathered. You gave it a shot anyway, letting the warm summer sun smother on your skin as you walked the streets of Ba Sing Se side by side. "Don't you have any ideas anymore?" You asked as you looked at Zuko. He shook his head. "The only things that reminded me of some kind of affection came from you, and maybe one or two things from my childhood." He admitted, and you could see the pink color that covered his cheeks as he held his head low, following you through the streets. Suddenly, a memory from your childhood struck you, and you halted in your steps before grinning at Zuko. "What is it?" His look was careful as he eyed you with caution. "I have one last thing."

"Holy spirits, y/n, slow down!" Zuko yelled, stumbling behind you as you walked through a wooded area of the third ring in Ba Sing Se. Your University was in the first ring, one of the elite Universities in the land. Still, you thought the third ring was the most beautiful, so many different people from different backgrounds with different elements they bend. To that, they still had a lot of woods in their area, a lot of nature which you were glad about.

You came to a halt in front of an abandoned lake, the water shining in a deep blue as you looked at your reflection. When Zuko's image came into view, you couldn't help but laugh, turning to him and taking the twigs out of his hair. "You dragged me through these woods, stop laughing!" He complained with an obvious fake groan as he ran his hands through his black hair, his cheeks once again flushed. Since when did Zuko get so flustered all the time? "So, what are we doing here?" He asked, curiosity getting the best of him as he looked around before following you down to the stone beach that sat by the side of the lake. "I used to do this with an old friend of mine." You grinned as you kneeled, taking a few rocks into your hands before letting them drop to the ground. "We try to find rocks that match the eyes of the other." You grinned up to him, and you knew that it maybe sounded a bit ridiculous, but it was fun, and it was a way of showing affection. It meant the other spent enough time with the other person to be able to tell their eye color without having to look at it. "No cheating!" You warned with a laugh, shielding your eyes before standing up. "Fine, fine!" He chuckled, lifting his hands in defeat before going to the other end of the 'beach'.

You spent at least forty five minutes rummaging through the different rocks when something seemed to blind you for a second, then disappearing. You furrowed your eyebrows as you walked to the water, crouching down as you lifted different rocks. Then you saw it, a few inches to the right. In awe, you picked up the stone, letting it move in between your fingers. It was perfect. It was honey-colored stone, a bit more on the gold-ish side than on the yellow side. The stone was a bit translucent, and the edges were smoothed out by the water. The stone remembered you at the night where Zuko had woken you, his eyes glimmering the exact same color in the faint moonlight. You clutched the rock inside your hand, standing up and walking over to Zuko with a sly grin. "Hey, you said no cheating!" He laughed as he looked up at you for mere seconds, before playfully shielding his eyes. "I already got my stone, idiot." You grinned, putting your hands on his shoulders. "Seriously? Me too!" He laughed, clutching something in his fist, standing upright. "I liked being taller than you for one second, and you ruined it." You frowned, but couldn't help your smile that forced its way onto your face. "Let me see your stone, come on." He grinned, but you shook your head, taking a step back. "No, I found mine first! You're going to show me yours first." You insisted, and Zuko knew he could just not say no to you. It just wasn't possible with the way you smiled at him, eyes bright with childish happiness. "Alright!" He stretched the word as he opened his fist, and you looked at the stone in awe. "It's pretty accurate." You nodded, impressed by his skills. "You probably got a black one or one covered in mud, didn't you?" He gave you a toothy smile. "Your eyes are not black, and they are not muddy!" You said, offended that he would even think such things as your hand lightly slapped against his chest. You opened your fist with a proud grin, and Zuko raised his eyebrows. "What?" You asked, confused as you looked from the stone to his eyes, and you were right, they were practically the same color. "My eyes are not that pretty." "They are Zuko! Have you ever looked into a mirror? You are pretty all over, from head to toe and even your weird little gray hair that's distracting me!" You exclaimed, outraged by his claims. "You think I'm--I have a gray hair?!" He asked, his voice furious. "Pull it out." "But it's cute--" "I said pull it, say goodbye to it or keep it in your drawer as a memory, I don't care! I'm nineteen, I'm not supposed to have gray hair!" You groaned before picking the hair, making him pull a grimace at the sharp pain, letting his hand run over it. "Thank you." "Careful, you might be getting wrinkles, honey." "Fuck you."

You and Zuko spent the rest of the day under a tree by the lake, enjoying the company of each other. Sometimes it was silent, then the air was filled with laughter and memories, then again quietness filling the air. You didn't mind. You could sit in silence with Zuko for a hundred years, and you wouldn't mind it one bit.

Hesitantly you felt Zuko's hand brush against yours, and your heart started speeding up. You let your finger slither around his ones, lacing them with yours, and squeezing it tightly. "Is this the journey of love, y/n?" Zuko asked, his eyes focused on the sunset in front of you. You glanced at him, his face smoothed out by the deep yellow that covered almost every inch of the forest, and you couldn't help but admire him. Four days ago, you never would've thought you would be friends, and now you were sitting here, holding his hand and watching the sunset and your heart racing at an incredible speed. You sighed deeply, leaning your head against his shoulder as you admired the sunset, the color reminding you of his eyes, and you had to smile. Your thumb ran over the back of his hand, your eyes not once leaving the incredible sight in front of you, your voice barely a whisper. "Yes, Zuko. It is."

#zuko x reader #zuko x you #zuko x y/n #zuko atla #avatar the last airbender #atla prince zuko #prince zuko

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thequibblah · 3 years

Note

directors cut for WTRF? 🥺👉👈 not biased at all obviously just objective third party asking for a directors cut hmmm hmmmmm

literally how could u do this every other word in that fic is an easter egg i can't shut up about..... bestie u are about to have regrets

one thing u should know is that 90% of things in this fic have real-world equivalents and its not even like....... hidden equivalents. serie primo = serie a, for instance. this trend is going to continue and i won't apologise <3

fun fact i named the bar the Bar and the drinks after shapes because i was too lazy to come up with something actually clever

this bit

I’m grinning to myself by the time she approaches my table.

was a very intentional fakeout and if you read this and thought "she" would be lily, feel free to sue me for emotional damages

the biggest conundrum of this AU was, how are jily not going to have met in school when magic exists? the solution was, of course, having multiple magic schools. but i couldn't let one of them have hogwarts, that didn't seem fair. i know i did sort of let lily have it..... but i felt more comfortable making hogwarts a university so there was a legit reason why james wasn't there and in gryffindor (if he'd gone he absolutely would have been)

once solved, i did the fun thing of naming them! ottaline gambol's was easy, i just scrolled through the list of ministers for magic and picked a progressive one. peverell hall was a whim, made all the funnier when lily's reaction is:

Much was made at Otty’s — one of the more progressive magical schools, named for one of the more progressive Ministers of Magic — of schools like Peverell Hall and St. George’s. The latter, I know, is chock-full of pureblooded elite. Peverell Hall is supposed to be slightly better, but still.

dang, it's gonna be funny if she ever finds out james is a descendant of the guy it's named after

fun fact, i included this because peter's question was a real thought i had when reading bond and free, your inspiring writing knows no limits:

The first thing you conjure in Walking Wombat is a yellow quill... “Why yellow?” Peter asked. Eddie gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

i realised i'd put jily in the same conundrum they had in tis the fucking season here:

It’s only then that I remember she’s just bought us drinks. I turn back to my triangle. “Oh, shit.” I suppose I can pawn it off on one of the others.

...but of course the resolution is rather different, and i do so enjoy a james with no filter (aka default james)

I briefly lose control of my brain and my tongue. “Is it too soon to say I’m in love with you?”

by the way, no-filter james will be a theme. wild things sure do run fast but not as fast as this boy runs his mouth!

also, another interesting challenge here was making sure james has a reason to be the way he is in AU. i love playing around with james's childhood/background and seeing how that affects his character while (hopefully!) staying true to who he is. i did that in ttfs by having him move around a lot and not meet the marauders until after the flashback timeline, which is why he's less of a git — he doesn't have the level of comfort in a social setting that canon james has with hogwarts, which is basically his playground from day 2 of first year lol

here, james was probably a fkn nightmare all through school, but of course he gets a big ego check when his quidditch career is derailed. i imagine his years in italy as a continuation of that humility lesson.

I will fully admit I used to be a cocky prick. This is what comes of being a kid who grew up with everything. But one useful thing that the whole fiasco four years ago taught me is humility. I’ve learned how to ask nicely for another chance.

and so much of writing him in wtrf is juggling that typical confidence with the insecurity/fear of losing something he's invested so much in (and has seen slip away before). it's really new to me, because typically i give lily uncertain life circumstances, but i suppose it's both of them in this AU.

the car thing was... i swear didn't start out as smutty, it was purely because i wanted a way to establish lily as muggleborn in a world where the connotations of not having magical parents is very different. more to come on that!

also, come to think of it, by this metric...

I’m now in dangerous territory, since that adds another impressive action to her running tally.

...i think james is already in love with her LOL

this bit:

The street is considered indecent and the downstairs hallway would have our landlady come running at once, so if it pleases Your Honour, we would recommend the sitting room sofa.

...was actually because in draft one lily was a lawyer, but then it was funny enough that i didn't want to take it out, but NOW i realise it makes it sound a little like she's addressing james as your honour, which.... hm. but anyway, we move on

Marc Bolan begs us to get it on through the stereo, vocalising my thoughts exactly.

the song here was initially "you shook me" (h/t @keepingupwithpotters) but i chickened out because zeppelin is SO horny dfjkhgkjs

also, it gave me so much joy to read everyone reacting to lily thinking about her ex (the general vibe was "who the fuck is this guy!!! ew!!!!") — rest assured (or, unassured??) that he has a part to play in all this. anyway, this is one of my fave lines:

He’s just a person, and there’s such a relief in sleeping with James and not the myth of a guy.

because as any come together reader knows....

Just James. Just James. It was never just James.

wtrf lily will learn!

literally the whole world knows i'm obsessed with needle drops that have no subtlety at all, but this one...

We just laugh, tangled together in a sweaty heap, as “Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac” plays through the car’s speakers. “On the nose, isn’t it?” James says, sitting up.

...was pure luck, because i was looking up the top hits on the uk singles chart for the week(ish) this scene takes place in so that i could find a song that would realistically play on the radio, saw this, and was like omg the stars really do align

i feel like the thing i enjoy most about writing romance is the importance i get to place in noticing/looking/observing (and sometimes, not noticing!). it's just such a powerful but simple writerly tool, and god knows i am obsessed with pithy descriptions anyway, so this bit i am especially happy with:

James is already waiting, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. I feel as though I’m seeing him for the first time, the faint light of the flickering streetlamp catching him in profile: the strong slope of his nose, the hard line of his jaw, the curve of his smile. He studies the facade of our building with open curiosity, and I wonder what he’s looking for.

(one can only imagine james's train of thought in this moment. perhaps "ah. here lives the future love of my life"?)

“Thanks,” she tacks on at the end. I tip my head to one side in confusion. “For what?” “For, I don’t know. Being nice.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t do this very much.”

it wouldn't be a quibblah original tee em without some discourse to come about the nature of romantic/sexual relationships, would it? one thing i enjoy about this AU ("one thing" i say as if this isn't the billionth thing in a list) is that i get to write a romantic lily who's squaring that romanticism with what she perceives as the culture of the times. (this is a bit of a staple in all my characterisations of lily, but it is not often paired with casual sex, the complication of all complications!)

oh this bit literally wrote itself like i didn't even pause to think just vomited it out:

In the morning — and it must be early still — the sun streams through Lily’s sorry excuses for curtains with aggression that cannot be ignored. I crack open an eye to find myself sprawled out across her bed, quite literally spread-eagled. She’s attached to my side like a barnacle. Or a very pretty barnacle, anyway.

i'm especially proud of james's voice in this story. i don't often write first-person fic and i was worried how it'd turn out, but i think james as a character/narrator typically colours his own 3rd-person narration so strongly that it ended up a smoother transition than i'd feared!

also i just. i can't resist throwing in comic relief and i hope that this whole segment was a gentle enough preparation for the awkwardness that followed LOL

All of a sudden, the balcony door bursts open. I nearly drop the mug. “What the—” Mary pokes her head around the corner, sporting a righteous smile. “Morning, handsome.” Over her shoulder she shouts, “He’s on the balcony!” I blink. There’s a sound from inside the flat, as if something very large has just been dropped. Then a swear. “Oh, shit,” I say, realisation dawning, “you weren’t looking for me, were you? It’s so loud out here—” Mary cups a hand around her mouth and stage-whispers, “Lily was frantic.” She’s quite violently yanked back, and Lily herself appears in the doorway, slightly out of breath. “Should’ve checked the balcony first,” she says, and closes the door before Mary can insert herself into the space again. “Hi,” I say, which is agreed-upon best practice for greeting a woman you’ve just had fantastic sex with and ideally would like to have sex with again.

to this day i don't know what lily dropped. let's hope it wasn't expensive!

Captained the under-17 English squad at the World Cup some years back, Serie Primo’s lead goal-scorer of last year… Only an injury in what should’ve been his first season at Puddlemere mars his record. I wince reading about it and comparing it to a heap of press clippings. James Potter was hurt, and Puddlemere didn’t fancy paying for him not to play, so they shipped him off to Milan.

(you cannot imagine how much pointed interrogation of my brother it took to gather this intel.) i constantly worry that i've got dates or timelines wrong somehow — you might notice i tweaked under-17, which used to be under-19 until i realised that made no sense (even though in terms of its career importance i would much preferred it to have been u-19.... anyway). i also found out that u-17 football squads don't actually have captains but i said fuck it on that count.

but obviously i started writing this AU for the sports possibilities, only to discover i'm going to have to interfere a great deal with the Timeline (you shall see in future instalments).

god i really went through the whole fic. like i reread the whole thing to do this. here u go clare jfbghjfd

#this has no right to be this long #wtrf #clareee75 #ask me #director's cuts

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meetthefantasticmrfox · 3 years

Text

The Librarians

Summary: Jeremy Scalera (Jeremy sounds more natural than Janus...seriously who would name their kid Janus?! Sorry to anyone named that but you deserve better. JanICE does not count.) is the head librarian at Hawthorne Library and antisocial intellectual with a taste for being alone and silence. Logan Constell (short for constellation, not his actual last name in this fic) is strikingly similar. So what happens when these two antisocial and intelligent loners cross paths in an interview that was sure to change both their lonely souls.

Pairings: Loceit

Alternate Universes: Human Au, Vitiligo Au (Human! Janus Headcannon technically)

Warnings: Mentions of disabilities and a few mild swear words. A smidge of angst at the very end. Let me know if anything else needs to be added.

Hope you enjoy my dears!!

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Edit: Chapter 2 is here! The Librarians Chapter 2

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The Hawthorne Library was run by a bitter and short tempered know-it-all named Jeremy Scalera...He was exactly 5 foot 3 and 120lbs with a thin frame and even thinner shoulders. His skin was the color of milk chocolate but his smooth sweetness of skin was interrupted by a clash of white splotches scattering his body. Jeremy had been born with vitiligo which resulted in a crude nickname of ‘Dairy Cow’ all the way through his middle school years. This influenced him to hide as much skin as possible using gloves, scarves, and extensive wool jackets and sweaters. This wasn’t entirely odd since at the time he had lived in Minnesota and it was freezing all the damn time. Now he lived in Florida where you either were sweating or shirtless.

“Please let this be a quiet day...” He muttered as the door to the library slammed shut behind him.

It was exactly 7 ‘o clock in the morning and the library was in need of opening. Jeremy was the only employee of the library and he practically lived there. Sure he still owns an apartment and everything, but he prefers the guaranteed silence at night with the library. His office had a small cot in it with a bathroom and a small kitchen fridge and a few counter-tops to hold his microwave, sink, and single cabinet.

Jeremy’s morning consisted of walking down to the RelativiTea coffee shop down the street that was operated by one of Jeremy’s old classmates. One who hadn’t mocked him because he himself had a disability, Roman Sancleur had turret syndrome (is that right?). Jeremy might have even considered him a friend had they ever talked to each other than exchanging a coffee order.

“Morning Jeremy.” Roman said out of reflex. His fingers twitched every now and then along with the skin under his eyes, but that was more on the fact that Roman had had no sleep last night because he was too busy drinking coffee and teas left over from the day before and watching Disney movies.

“Just the iced chocolate mocha today.” The librarian sighed and leaned on the counter. He always got here early to avoid the morning rush.

Roman set a drink onto the counter already prepared.

“You’re too predictable Jerry. Why don’t you ever shake it up a bit?” Roman leaned over the counter getting a little too close for Jeremy to like. No romantic signs came from the barista, more so curiosity.

“First of all don’t call me ‘Jerry’ please, and second I like consistency. This doesn’t take too much out of my paycheck from the city and it’s tasteful.” Jeremy hissed and put a five dollar bill on the counter as he always did. The drink was actual $2.73 but he didn’t ever like change so Roman always got a pretty generous tip.

Jeremy walked out of the coffee shop without another word and entered back into his solitary space just a block away.

The head-librarian set down his coffee on the horseshoe desk in the center of the library and the jingle of his keys echoed.

“I hope I’m not intruding.” A smooth voice laced with calm sounded behind Jeremy and he jumped.

“Mother of damnation who the hell are you?!” The librarian spun around and gripped his hand on the can of pepper spray he kept on him at all times.

“I-I suggest no hostility, and I advise you keep your voice down...we are in a library after all.” The stranger raised his hands in defense. “I’m sorry to have startled you, but the door was unlocked and I assumed you were in your office.” The man was oddly calm despite the can of pepper spray aimed at him and the clearly hostile look in Jeremy’s eyes.

“My name is Logan Constell. I came to apply for a job here.” The presumed ‘Logan’ folded his hands behind his back and only then did Jeremy begin to notice his features.

Logan wore tight black framed square classes, a smooth black dress coat and a navy undershirt with a star-flecked tie across and brighter blue fabric making up the tie itself. His shoulders were broad and his chin sculpted almost so finely one could mistake him for a statue if he had been gray.

Speaking of gray, his eyes were a brilliant icy blue-ish gray that sparked with intelligence Jeremy had never seen before. Then there was his hair, pitch black it seemed to be made of the dark matter of space itself. The lightness at which it was folded back and not a single sign of gel or any other product other than a mint smelling shampoo and conditioner. He was so put together with his black slacks and dress shoes to top everything off.

“It doesn’t make much...” Jeremy said steadily despite the rushing feeling running through his veins. He set the pepper spray down next to his coffee and Logan began to approach him which with every inch closer the head librarian’s heart beat a little quicker until it was skipping.

“I have no one to provide for but myself and my hydroponics garden.” Logan stated and held forward a piece of paper with a series of qualification statements and columns.

“I don’t need a resume...I just need you to answer a few questions.” Jeremy quickly said and slipped behind his horseshoe desk.

“I would be happy to answer them.” Logan said blankly.

“As I would hope.” Jeremy glanced up at him as he sat down in the old roller chair with a creak.

“Age?” He started.

“Twenty-Three years, seven months, and fifteen days.”

“Are you organized?”

“To a fault some might say.” Logan replied cooly.

“Do you have balance well on a 14 foot ladder?” Jeremy shot back.

“I’ve never tried, but I have a high pain tolerance and have been reported a fast healer.”

“Then you’re hired.” Jeremy rose from his chair and stuck out his hand. Logan took it in a firm grip that shot sparks through Jeremy’s arm and heat shooting up his face then he let go and the sparks vanished.

“When do I start?” Logan’s eyes held the slightest hint of joyous feeling but it was masked behind the gray and blue storm.

“The library opens in five minutes which should be enough time to get your tag done.” Jeremy offered a smirk which was met with only the slightest twitch of the others lips and the flicker of those eyes casting over the librarians face.

~Time Skip~

It’d been three weeks since Logan had started working at Hawthrone and every glance or movement seemed to attract Jeremy’s attention. He had considered going to see a doctor at this point but the Library’s salary and the fact Jeremy didn’t have insurance wasn’t exactly ideal.

“Good morning Jeremy.” Logan said one day as he walked in.

“Morning Lo.” The other responded calmly. This was about all that was exchanged by them verbally on most days.

The first three days at the library Logan had worn a simple silver band on his ring-finger then it had disappeared. Today seemed like an okay day to finally question his new employee about it.

“So...I noticed you stopped wearing the ring.” Jeremy said casually one day as he stocked the shelves. It was closing time and Logan was better at checking back in books than Jeremy.

“What ring?” Logan asked blankly, barely glancing up at the brown and tan head librarian.

“The silver band you wore the first three days you were here.” Jeremy clarified.

“I didn’t think it had any significance to my work here.”

“It doesn’t.” The conversation fell quiet for a few seconds before one of them spoke again.

“If you don’t feel comfortable with telling me it’s fine. It was just a silly question worth a bit of satisfied curiosity.” Jeremy said hurriedly as he started to ascend the ladder. The book he had in his left hand belonged at the top shelf.

“No...it’s just I don’t wish to make you uncomfortable or loose this job.” Logan rushed out.

“Why would I fire you? Or feel uncomfortable?” Jeremy asked slowly as he reached the fifth level.

“Because that ring was my tie to my ex-husband.” Logan said quietly, barely loud enough for the man on the ladder to hear.

“Oh...” There was a pause with only the sound of clicking keys and the steps of Jeremy climbing the ladder. “Well that’s nothing to ashamed of. Some people just don’t fit.” He quickly said after an extended period of time that felt longer than it should have and he reached the top and began moving books around to shelve the one in his hand.

“You’re not...going to judge me?” Logan seemed surprised.

“Well no. Who you choose to love is not up to me, and it’s not like I have anything against gays or bisexuals or any of the LGBTQ community. I myself am apart of it.” Jeremy reassured him and started climbing down slowly. The ladder rings dug into his worn shoes and hit against his old socks, further sinking into the bottom of his feet.

“Fascinating.” Logan muttered. Jeremy pretended not to hear and as silence once again claimed the room the sun began to send a orange glow over the dark gray carpeted floors of the house of books. Jeremy looked up to see the tangerine and apricot that now spilled through the windows like a waterfall to a lake.

Jeremy didn’t stop his descend though and his foot caught on a ring, but before he could notice he slipped and fell. All the way from the seventh level down to Earth and before he hit the ground something snapped and pain rocketed through his left leg as black crowded his vision. Nothing existed except the abyss.

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AAAAAAaaaaaand that’s Chapter 1. If this chapter gets some love or I get bored then I’ll check out getting a Chapter 2.

Until next time my Foxlings! <3 <3 <3

#logan sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides #loceit #human au #fanfiction #librarian au #vitiligo #LGBTQ+#Ending in angst

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noonachronicles · 4 years

Text

The End of the F**king World Pt. 2

Byun Baekhyun X Reader

Word Count: 12k

Warnings: Language. Character death. Smut(ish) - Masturbation/descriptive sexual fantasy.

Genre: Apocalyptic/Alien Invasion AU. Slow Burn (ish?). One pining pup and one idiot in denial to eventual lovers.

A/N: This is a lot. I went through this about a hundred times but guaranteed I missed something that needs to be edited anyway. So sorry about that but enjoy regardless!

During the first few days after Chanyeol and Baekhyun found Cordially the five of you spent your daylight hours securing the premises before taking up residency. In what you found to be a startling turn of character for you, you were one of the more fearless members of the family and were quick to take on Lurkers. With Irene still shook up and Seulgi having to take care of her, it ended up being you and the boys that killed any unwanted residents and cleared out the building. After that it was you and Baekhyun who took on the roles of scavengers. You searched nearby buildings for supplies that you needed for survival like food, water, and weapons. You also looked for items on a list that Chanyeol had curated for a special project he wanted to work on.

Seulgi and Irene stayed in the building at first. They really cleanied things up. They found and barricaded all of the exits except for the front door and also created a list of needs. It was all things they needed in order to really turn Cordially into a home. They hung curtains so that everyone had a private area to themselves, made beds out of cushions. Irene even set up the bathroom so that it felt nicer, and attached a showerhead to the sink faucet so getting clean didn’t have to mean having to shove your soapy head under the faucet.

With both lists constantly growing you realized pretty quickly you’d have to expand your search area. Even if the idea was a little scary considering that you had no idea what was out there. Back then there were still plenty of unsavory people hanging around the city on top of the even less savory creatures. There had been a few groups of people, truly lawless men, that you’d run into who seemed to feel entitled to more of you than you wanted to give them. It was situations like that where Baekhyun really stepped up and you felt lucky to have his protection. There were a couple of times that things could have been much worse than they were if it weren’t for him. It was also because of those situations that he was always on high alert and overly cautious when it came to strangers. Especially strangers that showed any extra interest in you.

He almost took off Taemin’s head when the two of you found each other. It had been nearly three weeks since that last morning together. He had sped towards you out of nowhere, not much more than a blur, before crashing into you. The hug you’d gotten from him wasn’t one you’d ever forget. As you tried to assure a panicked Baekhyun that you were fine and that you knew him, Taemin cried into your shoulder. He kept saying how he thought he lost you and how grateful he was that you were alive. It reached right to your chest and squeezed your heart. Of course you were friends but you hadn’t realized that you were so important to him, he’d never told you before. That afternoon Taemin officially introduced you to Jongin and also to Hyunwoo who they’d met by chance.

The more you got out of your comfort zone the better things ended up getting. It was only then that you met Sehun, Baekho, and Seungcheol. Sehun had been a weapons specialist with the army. He’d come to the city with his squad on the first day of the invasion but things went south fast. Within the first week he’d watched each and everyone of his fellow soldiers get torn to shreds. If it wasn’t for him it would have taken you much longer to figure out the Lurkers weak spots. Before he told you where they were you, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol had just been beating them relentlessly and hoping for the best.

On the day you’d met, Sehun had found you using a baseball bat as a weapon. He’d said it was fine but only useful in close proximity. Seeing as close proximity combat was not ideal, he spent a few hours everyday teaching you how to throw knives until he’d decided you had sufficient accuracy. He taught Baekhyun proper sword techniques and how to throw axes. Every new survivor that he met got a lesson from Sehun in weapons and self defense.

Baekho had been a personal fitness instructor and wellness coach which proved to be invaluable to the Community. Once all of the Family’s began working together he was in charge of managing the food supply that others scavenged and planning meals that would not only make the food last the longest amount but that would keep everyone from becoming too malnourished. And Seungcheol had been a medical school student before the invasion. He did what he could, while still learning himself, to teach at least one member of each family first aid and some basic medical skills so that no one was ever too far away from help. For your family it was Seulgi that ended up taking quickly to that role.

As time passed everyone learned how to do something. Everyone in the community had a role to play, a valuable skill set. All the members of the Community knew that working together would be the only way to survive. Anyone who didn’t want to contribute was welcome to leave the city, try their luck and make it on their own somewhere else. It seemed harsh at first, pushing people out, but everyone’s lives were already balanced on such a slippery slope that you couldn’t afford the disruption of a member that only thought of themselves. There had been a few in the beginning whose selfishness had gotten good people killed. Making rules and banishment necessary.

Ultimately working together so closely meant that everyone became close. Partially because after three years there were so few of you. Partially because you all shared a major common interest in survival, the great equalizer. Every time someone died or disappeared it only strengthened that bond and your need to protect one another grew stronger. There wasn’t a single person in the Community that you didn’t care for or enjoy being around but your family always came first. And that was a fact that seemed true for everyone.

A week had already passed since your birthday and you were mostly grateful to have things fall back to normal fairly quickly. In just a few days there was the trip to the Farm and everyone seemed to be getting ready for that. It wasn’t a huge deal, not anymore at least, but it did take some preparations. Once again Chanyeol chose Baekhyun and Irene to be the two people from your family to go.

The last time you’d taken the trip out to the Farm there’d been an accident. It was a simple misstep. Anyone could have made the mistake but not just anyone had. You did, and it left you stranded alone just outside of the city in the middle of the night with a sprained wrist and possible concussion. You made it back home by the next morning, you never once thought you wouldn’t. Humble enough to never say it to anyone's face, you knew if anyone could come back from that, it was going to be you. Regardless, after that trip Chanyeol never asked you to go again.

It seemed silly and you weren’t sure how or why it happened, but after the invasion Chanyeol had become an important figure in your life. You respected him more than anyone, which meant that his approval had become your goal in almost everything you did. When he was proud of you, you were proud of yourself, and he almost always was. So when he didn’t choose you to go on trips or missions it made you feel like he didn’t think you were capable and it crushed your ego every time.

That morning, after finding out once again that you wouldn’t be going, you were pretty frustrated. You didn’t even bother saying goodbye to anyone before heading outside. You’d left so quickly you even had to stop just across the street to sit on the curb to tie your boots the rest of the way before going out on your scavenge. It shouldn’t have upset you so much, it was such a petty, insignificant thing to be bothered by but the more you thought about it the more it riled you up. Almost finished lacing up, you didn’t say anything when you saw Baekhyun walk out of Cordially, you weren’t really in the mood for chatting. You thought maybe he hadn’t seen you because he started to walk down the sidewalk in the opposite direction but before he got too far he stopped and turned around, hurrying over to where you were sitting.

“Hey,” he said quickly, “I wasn’t going to say anything…”

“So don’t.”

He grinned down at you, “You seemed really upset about the Farm, just checking to see if you’re good.”

“I’m fine.” You sighed and pushed yourself up to your feet.

“I was just thinking, if you want, we could go out together. We haven’t done that in awhile.”

“Honestly. I’d just rather be alone right now.”

“Look, I get that. It’s just… when people go out and they’re upset mistakes happen.” He shrugged, “You’re looking pretty tense. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

You scoffed, “I said I was fine but clearly you think I’m incapable of taking care of myself too. Nice.”

“You’re the best we have in the whole community. You’re fearless. No one thinks you can’t take care of yourself.”

“Really? Is that why Chanyeol refuses to trust me with the simplest of tasks?” You asked, feeling the heat rise up your neck. “I fucked up once. Now he doesn’t even trust me enough to sit in the back of a truck for a couple of hours without killing myself.”

Baekhyun shook his head. “That’s not why he doesn’t let you go on Farm runs.”

“What other possible reason could there be?”

“You weren’t here that night.” He sighed, “Seulgi was inconsolable when you didn’t show up before lockdown. She sat by the door for hours just crying and praying you’d show up. She had Yeol on the walkies with the other leaders all night trying to figure out what happened to you. It was a disaster. When you came back she made him swear he’d never put you in a situation like that again.”

“She what?” You were a little uncertain how to feel.

Part of you was furious that she would do that, treat you like a child. The rest was crushed that your friend had been so worried and never told you. When you arrived home the next day she had barely even reacted. She had only helped you get your wrist bandaged up and told you to rest because she was concerned about your head. At most you remembered her telling you she was happy you were okay but beyond that she said nothing.

“They don’t know I know she asked him for that.” He admitted, “But bedrooms with walls made out of sheets aren’t great for a lot of privacy.”

“Whatever.” You shrugged, grabbing your walkman out of your backpack before throwing the strap over your shoulder. “I’m fine, Baek. I don’t need a babysitter.”

“I’m not trying to be, I swear. I honestly just want to make sure you’re okay out there.”

“Listen,” you said as kindly as you could. “I can take care of myself. I do it all the time. Trust me.”

“Okay.” He nodded, “If you need me, you know how to find me.”

“Thanks.”

You put your headphones in and pressed play on before heading off down the empty street. Baekhyun wasn’t wrong. You were tense and annoyed which kept you off guard. He was only trying to be nice, but you also knew what you could do to relax and it didn’t require him. In fact spending the day with him probably would have only made it worse. You headed down the street to where you knew you could be alone.

Baekhyun might have agreed to trust you, but that didn’t keep him from worrying. People got themselves hurt going out on scavenge on good days. Going out when your head wasn’t totally in the game was a bad idea. He wasn’t going to willingly let you go off and get yourself killed. He’d rather you catch him following you and be pissed off at him than have you hurt. So that’s exactly what he did.

Around the corner and down a couple blocks, around another corner and down another block. He had no idea where you were headed. He wasn’t even sure what quadrant you were in anymore. As he followed you he wondered how you’d ever know what was going on around you with your headphones in all the time. It was now surprising to him that you ever made it home alive with how easy it was to follow you. God forbid you were ever in a building, deaf to the sounds of the Lurkers.

Finally after about twenty minutes of twists and turns you ducked inside a building that used to be a high rise bank building. It had been about sixty floors tall, but now it sat around twelve. A crashing plane wing had sliced through one side of the building. The top of the building had toppled over crushing several other buildings in its wake. He thought it was a little weird that you’d scavenge over here, as most the buildings were completely destroyed and didn’t offer much as far as supplies. Still he followed you inside.

Once in the building he caught sight of you disappearing through a stairwell. As he inched his way up the stairs quietly he was still confused about what you were doing in this abandoned building. You were meant to be scavenging but as he passed several floors he only confirmed to himself you’d have no use for a place like this. Unless maybe you were hoarding supply’s somewhere you thought no one would ever look. He nearly laughed out loud at the idea that you were capable of that kind of betrayal.

Just before the last few steps he hesitated. What if you were here to meet someone privately? He felt heartbroken already, it would devastate him to see you meeting with someone else. Especially considering he knew everyone you knew and they all knew how he felt about you. He scolded himself at the thought. He didn’t own you, you weren’t his. Just because he was in love with you didn’t mean you had to be in love with him. He guessed, if whoever you were with made you happy, he could be okay with it. Even if it hurt.

Being the bigger man about it or not, he still had to know or it would drive him crazy. He was just going to see who it was, that’s it, and then he’d leave. He took the last steps and looked around. This floor had been completely destroyed. It acted as more of a roof with just a few beams still standing and a handful of walls that hadn’t completely crumbled to dust. Even still he didn’t see you right away and he didn’t understand how he could have possibly lost you. There was nothing up there. He’d searched for a bit and about given up. Thinking about heading back downstairs was when he finally thought he heard you. Boots crunching over gravel, glass, and other debris. Moving quickly he rounded one of the walls and paused.

When he found you, you were climbing on top of a large cement platform that overlooked the city. You dropped your bag, put your tape player on top of it and pulled your jacket off. Your legs swung side to side as you looked out over the other buildings. After a few minutes he realized you probably weren’t there to meet anyone. He was just about to call out to you, say something so you would know he was there. Before he could think of something witty or clever to say you did something that froze him in his place.

Closing your eyes, you lifted your hand up your stomach and underneath your bra to massage your breast. It had taken you a few minutes to decide what you were going to fantasize about but when you came up with it you were pretty certain it would work. Arching your back slightly you pressed further into your palm and pictured your perfect fantasy scenario.

Shirtless Hyunwoo, a little sweaty, in all of his golden glory, like maybe you’d already fucked once or twice already. Rough hand feeding you pieces of chocolate. Gently sucking the melted chocolate from his fingertips. Soft warm skin covering his hard muscular body. Softer kisses from his smiling lips. The crinkled smile that made it look like there’s no possible way he could see anything. Moving your hand back down your stomach you quickly unbuttoned your jeans.

Back in your fantasy the chocolate was gone, it was just the two of you together in a soft clean bed. You were pretty certain the mattress you’d imagined would be enough to get you off, it had been so long since you’d slept in a nice bed. Hyunwoo’s hand was rubbing your inner thigh. Your hand, in real time, was already in your panties. Fantasy Hyunwoo was being stubborn. He would not move his hand beyond your thigh, despite your best imaginative efforts, you couldn’t get him where you needed him the most. It was just a glitchy loop of his hand massaging your thigh and kisses on your neck. This wasn’t working, Hyungwoo apparently wasn’t meant to be the man of your dreams today. Opening your eyes you tore your hand from your pants.

“Damn it!” you cried out of frustration. You hopped off the platform into some rubble and picked up a chunk of cement debri, throwing it hard against one of the few still standing walls.

On top of already being upset about this morning it had been months since the last time you were able to get yourself off. It was agonizing. You were so tense you could feel it constantly in your neck and back, it was driving you crazy. After a deep sigh of defeat you moved your hands to button up your jeans once again and then paused. Before grabbing your bag and giving up completely you thought there might be someone else that might work. The same person who had worked for you the last time. With a semi reluctant groan you leaned back against the platform.

When you closed your eyes you were back at the Cordially in the second floor women’s room. It was candlelit and there were flowers everywhere like they had been last week for your birthday. Your back pressed against the cold wall, a mosaic of diamond shaped mirrored tiles. Hand between your thighs, fingers tightly gripping a handful of thick hair. Slick, wet tongue brushing against your sex.

Still gripping his hair roughly, fantasy you pulled Baekhyun up until he was standing in front of you. Both of you were completely naked and wet. In his hand was the showerhead. His other hand was pushing his wet hair back off of his face, his tongue brushed over his swollen lips. Both you in real life and you in the fantasy gulped. This was going to work just fine.

His skin was slippery and warm as you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. Your lips were mashed together in a kiss. He pulled away and you let out a noise like a complaint. As he kissed along your jaw he brought the showerhead between your thighs.

Lips against your earlobe you could hear his voice perfectly in your head, “Tell me how much you want me.”

Real you let out a whimper at the thought and your thighs were trembling around your wrist already. You had to sink down to your knees amongst the debri or risk collapsing with jello legs. Fantasy you and real you gasped out to fantasy Baekhyun, to the empty roof, to the whole city. “God. I want you so bad. Please, I need you.”

You leaned your head back and fantasy Baekhyun latched his mouth to your throat. A heady moan escaped your lips as he kept the showerhead pulsing against you.

“You taste so good, baby.” he muttered after removing his mouth from your neck with a pop. “I wanna know how you feel.”

Real life you knew that all you had to do was keep hard and fast against your wildly sensitive clit and this could all be over in a minute, but instead you needed it to last longer. You wanted more. Leaning back and spreading your knees you slipped two fingers knuckle deep

You let out a barely audible, “Baekhyun.”

In your fantasy one of his hands gripped your hip and the other one lifted your leg up to his waist. Your wet bodies slipped together so easy and soon he was pumping into you relentlessly. Just you and him in the soft glow of the candles. Water from his soaked hair dripping down his face as he absolutely devoured you with starving eyes. He was so beautiful.

“Y/n...you feel amazing.” He gasped against your mouth before dipping his tongue between your lips, the pink muscle swirling around yours.

“Oh, god!” You moaned louder than you expected to, “I’m gonna come.”

In real life you flew forward on your knees and held yourself up by one hand. The palm of your one hand was pressed hard into sharp pieces of cement debri as you fucked yourself with the other.

“Oh fuck! That’s it! God! Yes! Yes...” You cried out as your orgasm hit hard.

Face flush you collapsed down onto your elbows to catch your breath. After a couple minutes you sat up and sucked your fingers clean, wanting to rid yourself of the sticky residue your orgasm left. Getting back on your feet you pulled your pants back up to your hips. With a satisfied sigh you grabbed your backpack and jacket from where they were laying on the platform. You pulled out your water bottle and rinsed your hands. After a handful of deep breaths and a quick drink of water from your bottle you pulled the straps of your bag over your shoulders. There was a renewed pep in your step as you made your way across the rooftop and back down the stairs.

Baekhyun stood with his back flat against the one wall left standing near the stairs. With an obvious erection bulging in his pants he held his breath as you passed. After he watched you skip down the stairs with a light whistle he finally let himself breathe. He hadn’t meant to stay, he really didn’t. He knew it was wrong and about ninety-nine percent of him felt horribly guilty and disgusting for staying, but he’d never felt so completely paralyzed in his life. All he could do was stand there with his eyes wide open and his mouth catching flies.

When he realized what you were doing his brain screamed RUN! but his feet were planted firmly to the ground. He just stood there and stared, mesmerized by the way you brought yourself to orgasm. It was a vision he’d fantasized about countless times, but truthfully never actually expected to see for himself. He only wished he could have heard what you’d been saying but he hadn’t dared to move any closer than he already was. It wasn’t until you’d sucked your fingers clean that he’d been able to throw himself behind the wall, praying you hadn’t seen him. So weighed down he didn’t think he’d ever be able to move from that spot. It was as if in that moment you’d transferred every ounce of your stress and tension directly onto his shoulders.

Before the invasion Taemin had worked at a second hand, designer clothes boutique downtown. The shop was down a street that locals lovingly referred to as Vintage Alley. It had been called that because every store on that street, for several blocks, offered only used goods and goods from a different time.

Used Only was a used bookstore that didn’t offer a single book that hadn’t been well loved already. Coco’s Closet, where Taemin worked, offered high quality pre-owned designer clothes and accessories. There wasn’t a coffee house or a frozen yogurt shop to be seen. There was, however, Greasers which was a diner that offered the best burger and fries combo you’d ever had. And there was a soda shop across the street where you could get ice cream after if you hadn’t already eaten a slice of pie. There was even Biff’s Bowling Alley and a movie theater that only played movies from decades ago.

It had been perfect for a completely themed date night. A quirky little part of the city that locals loved just as much as tourists. Your favorite shop on the whole street was Around Again. It was a record shop that had been around since the 1930’s. It still had booths in the back where customers could listen to the records before they bought them. The whole store was lined from wall to wall with old vinyls. There weren’t CDs and they didn’t sell iPods. Except for an old cardboard box you’d found in the back that had a bunch of cassette tapes and a single, silver Walkman, it was strictly vinyl.

Later in your day, after you’d checked a couple buildings for supplies, you rounded a corner about a block away from the record store. Tears for Fears had been playing through your headphones and you felt on top of the world. That corner you rounded brought you from Quad Nine, which was where your family resided, to Quad Eight. As soon as you turned the corner you were less than surprised to see Taemin, Jongin, and Hyunwoo since Eight was theirs. There was also a hodge podge collection of other Community members from Six and Seven hanging around, there typically was.

Taemin perked up when he saw you arrive, he’d been lounging on the top of an Army tank that had been left in the middle of the road. “Trespasser! You must pay the toll!”

You shook your head as you made your way to the tank, pulling your backpack around to the front to drop your tape player in and grab your payment. Reaching the tank Taemin dropped his hand down to you and you offered him a sucker.

“Ah yes,” he smiled, accepting the sweet, “Thank you, my beautiful candy dealer.”

Jongin popped his head over the side of the tank as well with big, bright and hopeful brown eyes, “Do you have any of those Jolly Ranchers left?”

“I think so.” you hummed as you dug through the pocket of your pack. “Just a few, is that okay?”

You reached your hand up, offering him the candy and his smile burned brighter “Perfect. Thank you, y/n.”

“How about you?” You asked, looking over at Hyunwoo who was sitting under the shade of a tree. “Craving anything sweet today?”

“The only sweet thing he’s craving is you.” Taemin laughed.

Hyunwoo shook his head trying to ignore the comment, “No thank you, y/n. Maybe next time.”

“Hey, speaking of next time. What are you going to do when the scavengers get pushed to look outside of the city?” Jongin asked as he popped a candy into his mouth. “You’ll never have time to visit the record store anymore.”

“Yeah, what are you gonna do? How am I supposed to survive not seeing you nearly every day?” Taemin whined.

You hadn’t actually thought about it, “I don’t know. It’s going to suck, but you know me, I’ll find a way.”

Jongin shrugged, “You could always join our family.”

“Oh my god!” Taemin nearly shrieked with excitement. “Yes! Join our family! You can be the mom!”

“Tae, you’re a grown ass man.” You scowled.

“Tae’s a baby.” Jongin laughed. Taemin only nodded cutely, looking especially childlike with the sucker hanging out of his mouth.

“You could, you know?” Hyunwoo said thoughtfully. “You could always come stay with us. We have plenty of space at the church. I promise you don’t have to be anyone’s mom.”

“And we’re not gross like most boys.” Taemin added as extra incentive.

Your face flushed, “Oh. I mean… I love you guys. I’d love to stay there with you. If I did that though one of you would have to fist fight Seulgi for me, and I don’t think any of you are prepared for that.”

Hyunwoo just smiled, “Someday.”

“Yeah, maybe.” You sighed nervously, “Well, if I don’t pass you guys on my way back, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Same place, same time.” Jongin grinned. “Try and find more Jolly Ranchers. “

“Bye mom!” Taemin called out to you as you continued your way down the street.

It wasn’t until almost six months after the invasion that you remembered the record shop existed. You’d snuck into the eighth quadrant during a scavenge to see if it was still standing and that’s when you’d found your beloved tape player. When Hyungwoo found out that you’d been moping around the record store trying to figure out how you were going to listen to music without electricity he set up a gas run generator he’d found and told you to use it until it ran out of juice. After that you could play records whenever you wanted. He’d claimed he thought it was a really good idea to have it available for the Community, that the music would be a good mood booster for anyone that needed it. While a lot of people would come around every once in a while to spend a little time in one of the booths, for the most part the record store was yours.

A faded maroon awning hung out over the windows in front of the building which had been blown out, probably during that first blast. The door had stayed intact. You found that even though the awning was shredded to bits in some parts it kept the shade well enough, but the sun would blast through the glass of the door and into the booths so you’d plastered newspaper scraps over it. There were never any Lurkers in the shadows at the back of the shop and you weren’t sure if it was because they just never went inside the building or if Hyunwoo or one of the others cleared them out everyday before you arrived. Either way you weren’t exactly going to complain.

Stepping through the open window frame you already knew what you were looking for. You’d seen it the last time you were there and had been thinking about it ever since. It was an old album by The Supremes that usually put you in a pretty good mood, and since you were feeling chipper as it was you thought it would be a good pick. You were quick to grab the record before moving into your favorite booth right in front. Tossing your bag on the table you put the record on the player and took a seat in the cushy leather chair. As the record began to play, you opened your bag to pull out your collection of nail care products. Sometimes you’d look into your bag and laugh. Candy, nail polish, cassette tapes, a flashlight, a liter bottle of water, a couple of homemade granola bars, and a second set of knives. Only the most important essentials, of course.

As the record played you bent over the table and painted your nails. When the needle reached the end of the first record you flipped through the pile in the booth to see what the others had been listening to and tried out a couple of their most recent picks. Then suddenly you only had about an hour or so left before you’d have to swing by the old corner shop to pick up some food, you were pretty sure you’d seen some canned raviolis the last time you were there, before heading back home.

You put on the last record of the day, a collection of love songs from the fifties. As the needle hit the vinyl and started the pleasant piano tune for Tonight You Belong to Me you stood up for a stretch. You hummed along with the almost sickly sweet sound of Patience & Prudence while you shuffled through the tape box to pick which new ones you’d take with you for the week. You pulled several from their pocket in your backpack and replaced them with a couple of others.

From where you were standing you had a clear view out of the sound booths thick glass window. You could see all the way through the front of the store to the street. That’s how, as you were eyeing the contents of the tape box you noticed in your peripheral the movement outside. When you first looked up you saw Taemin sprint passed the window and a few seconds later Jongin did the same. They were followed quickly by Hongjoon and Jihyo who you had seen hanging out earlier.

Turning down the record player you could hear muffled yelling. You quickly made your way out of the booth to the front of the store. Looking out you could see the others in a serious sprint down the street, nearly an entire block away already. Something didn’t sit right with you in a way that it hadn’t the day of the invasion. On first instinct you looked up to the sky but it was clear.

Hesitantly you stepped through the window and out onto the sidewalk. The air was quiet and calm now but goosebumps rose on your arms and legs from the erriness of the silence. You stood for a moment trying to understand what you were feeling. Then you realized it was panic.

You knew it was stupid to go towards an area people were running from, it wasn’t like you’d never seen a movie in your entire life, but your feet took control. It was like your body was being drawn around the corner. You had to know what it was they were running from. Plus you hadn’t seen Hyunwoo or the rest of the group. Down the main street you could see the commotion in the center of the road. Two men were scrapping. One of them was definitely Hyunwoo. From as far as you were you couldn’t tell who the second was.

You moved forward cautiously, ducking behind stripped car frames and trash cans as you made your way down the road. Halfway down the block you noticed a movement across the street. Taeyong was in an alleyway across from you, arms waving frantically to get your attention. He was trying to mouth something to you but you couldn’t understand him. You watched confused until Yeri ran up the alleyway behind him. She looked like she was sobbing. She grabbed at his sleeve until he finally had to give up and left with her.

More confused and curious than ever you continued pushing forward until you’d almost reached the intersection. The fighting had somewhat settled even if the tension in the air was thick. Hyunwoo was on his hands and knees as the other man stood above him. You were about to stand up, to go to him and stop whatever this was when he lifted his face, and caught sight of you. You didn’t know why but something about the look in his eyes stopped you in your place. Blood was smeared over his forehead, and dripping from his lips. He looked terrified which was an emotion you’d thought he was incapable of. If he was scared you knew that couldn’t mean anything good for you. He looked like you were the absolute last person he wanted to see at this moment.

The man he was with noticed Hyunwoos attention elsewhere and turned his head to look over his shoulder in your direction. You were ducked pretty low behind an abandoned car, sure that Hyunwoo only saw you because he was down at your level. The man couldn’t see you but you saw him, and it took everything you had not to scream.

Chanyeol was a tech genius. You always knew he was a pretty smart guy, but you didn’t realize until after the invasion that he was an actual, bonafide genius. How could you have known, he worked an entry level position at a big box tech company. It would be like if Karl Lagerfield had worked retail at an H&M. He’d even been recruited by the government when he was in high school but shrugged off the opportunity after his first week of training because it “didn’t really feel like his thing” and he missed gaming after school with Baekhyun.

After Cordially had been deemed a suitable home Chanyeol gave you a list of things he needed to get to work on what he called his ‘communications project’. He set up solar powered electricity first. A few scavenged panels on the roof that juiced up a few car batteries which he hooked up to a generator. At first he tried to power the whole building but it became clear that it was unsafe to have the lights and buzzing noises running so heavily during the evening hours. Then after the first long dark winter he also realized you’d have to be more sparing with it just in case. Those two reasons were why the basement was the only place that had power. Within the first year he had every family set up with solar power.

Once he had electricity to work with he made quick work of connecting to the internet. It was low grade. Sloth slow and low quality but he’d connected with other tech nerds from around the globe who’d done the same and they were able to share what they knew. People shared security camera quality videos of where they were and exchanged tips and tricks on surviving. Mostly tips to use against Lurkers, which were also called Esqueleto, Akuma, and Étranger among other things. People also shared survival techniques in general. The benefit of the network he'd created was incalculable to the Community.

Originally, after the invasion, everyone thought the Lurkers were the ‘invaders’. You’d all thought it was just them. They were the creatures that came from somewhere unknown, brought their ships, and decided to attack. Through the network and the gathered information you realized it was not the case at all.

A hacker from Spain sent the first video. It looked like cellphone footage of what seemed to be an ordinary man. The video followed the man around for nearly twenty minutes. It was clear the person taking the video was taking extra precautions to keep hidden from view. Then the man had gotten to a clearing that seemed deserted. You’d never forget the video, the way his hand began to glow. An orb of light materializing out of nowhere. The man threw the orb like a bowling ball into a truck that had been tipped over. As the mass of metal exploded you watched as a group of people scattered out from behind it. Then you watched as he attacked them with what could only be described as bolts of lightning.

After that more and more videos of men with the same power started arriving from all over the world. They all shared an ability to harness light into a weapon. Worst of all, as other videos showed, they all had a perplexing control over the Lurkers. You’d watched as they directed entire hoards of them with a wave of their hands. They could keep them from moving at all or command them to attack. The Lurkers weren’t the invaders, they were simply minions. It was still unclear what the men wanted or why they’d come. Of the cities they’d been observed in, very few survivors were ever left over but they were never cleared out completely.

Chanyeol started charting out where the videos were coming from and when. He had been hoping to find a pattern, something that would tell him when they might be headed to your city. What he realized was in some ways even more disturbing. There weren’t multiple alien leaders. There was only one and he was moving from one city to the next. What made it so unsettling was that he never looked the same in any of the videos or photographs. It always looked like a different man, a few times it had even been a woman.

Once Chanyeol came to his conclusion he confirmed it by going back through old footage. To prove his theory he tracked several videos and found all of the people that this thing had become in the backgrounds of the videos from previous cities. It wasn’t clear if this leader figure was some sort of shapeshifter or a body snatcher. It was clear that before he left a city he would take the form of one of that city's residents. The only indicator all of the forms shared, other than it’s occupants powers, was a sheer veil that he wore across the bottom half of his face.

Nobody who had seen him up close was sure why he wore the veil, saying that there didn’t seem to be anything that needed hiding beneath it. They only knew that he was a ruthless killer that enjoyed playing with his prey and some sort of energy vampire that sucked the light from everything around him. At first Chanyeol called him the Final Boss, but everyone agreed that sounded too gloomy and gave him more power than he already had. Instead, in hopes of giving light to the situation, you all decided to call him Big Baddie.

Frozen to the spot you looked up at the veiled man before you. He didn’t look like he had in the last transmission but that didn’t surprise you. What surprised you most was that, just standing there in his presence, you could feel an almost charming energy. He didn’t seem angry. There wasn’t rage or disgust. He was simply amused. You could see the smile in his dark eyes before he turned back to Hyunwoo.

“Looks like all your friends are gone.”

“Good.” Hyunwoo gasped, looking Baddie directly in his eyes. The fear you’d seen before was gone.

“You think I won’t find them?” Baddie asked with a huff of amusement. “You think sacrificing yourself, dueling me as a distraction so they could escape, you think that really did something. You think you saved them, don’t you?”

“I didn’t need to save anyone. They’re going to save themselves.”

“Is that so?” He laughed genuinely. “Are you so deluded that you think they’re coming back in time to save you then?”

Hyunwoo shook his head. “No. I’ll die, but now you no longer have the element of surprise and they’ll win.”

“The best part is that you truly believe that.”

Your mouth fell open as you watched Baddie’s palm start to glow white, the orb of bright white light begin to manifest. Seeing it in person was actually stunning. It seemed so magical and you even thought it looked beautiful.

“Any last words?”

“Just one.” Hyunwoo got to his feet. His shoulders were back and his head was held high. Even though he wasn’t looking at you, you knew it was for you when he said, “Run.”

Baddie chuckled, maybe assuming it was a threat to him and not a command to you. Then Baddie pulled his arm back and even though you had no idea what you had intended on doing you stood up as he slammed his palm forward into Hyunwoo. If you hadn’t known what had happened and what the sight meant you might have thought there was an explosion of star dust. However, you did know and it no longer held the beauty it had seconds before.

You were screaming but you didn’t even realize it until Baddie dropped his hand to his side and turned his head to look over his shoulder. It silenced you. His eyes were dark black and when he locked his gaze with yours you felt even more paralyzed than before. You could just barely see his mouth beneath the sheer veil that covered his face but you knew he was sneering as he eyed you. Something about the look in his eye made you feel sick.

“And what’s your name?” he called out to you.

You didn’t answer. You weren’t even sure what your chances of survival were but without a second thought you turned and ran as fast as you could. You didn’t dare look back as you booked it back down the block and around the corner. Almost out of breath and unsure of where to go you jumped back through the window of the record shop. You skidded to a stop before dropping to your knees in the shattered glass and dust that covered the floor. As fast as you could you crawled to the narrow bit of solid wall between the broken window and the newspaper plastered door.

You pushed your back against the wall and tried to steady your breathing. Tears were streaming down your face as you tucked your knees into your chest. It was hard to tell how quiet you were actually being with your brain going haywire, and heart pounding in your chest. You weren’t sure how long you sat there, it didn’t seem like long. Only so long that you were able to calm yourself enough to realize your hands were bleeding from bits of broken glass. You couldn’t even feel the pain through the terror that shook you.

For just a brief second you allowed yourself to think that maybe he hadn’t followed you. That he’d made a wrong turn or just decided to go somewhere else. However, once you’d had the thought, the sound of whistling echoed softly down the empty street outside. With every second that passed it became clearer and then you heard the heavy crunch of boots over debris. You froze.

A dark shadow came into view on the floor in front of the paper covered door. Your fingers trembled at your thigh, hovering just over your blade. He moved past the door but his shadow didn’t move immediately into the window like it should have. If it weren’t for the eerie whistling, you’d have even thought he left. Then there was a hefty crunch of glass just outside of the window over your other shoulder. You held your breath in your throat as he continued to whistle his song. Fingers gripping your blade you turned your head up towards the window. You couldn’t see much, just the tip of his nose beneath its veil. All he had to do was look down and you were as good as dead. He stayed there for a while just whistling his song before finally turning and walking away. The whistling faded down the street.

You didn’t move for what felt like a whole hour, too afraid that he was still there just waiting for you to come out. The moment you’d witnessed kept replaying in your head over and over until it was burned into your memory forever. You tried to think of other things but it only made it worse because all you could think of was moments with Hyunwoo. His kind face during quiet conversations, the way he laughed, watching him eat at community dinners, the way he cared for Taemin and Jongin. When you were sure you couldn’t cry anymore you sat in silence and tried to remind your numbed body that the sun wouldn’t be in the sky forever and you had people to warn.

A sudden realization hit you then. You knew the song he was whistling. He’d been whistling the song you were listening to in the sound booth. Tonight You Belong to Me. He knew you were there. He knew you were there before you ever even knew he was in the city. He knew you were there when he killed Hyunwoo. He had just been tormenting you. He was probably going to torture every last one of you. You turned to the side as you threw up the contents of your stomach and continued to gag until you were just dry heaving. You couldn’t get yourself to breathe so you just choked on nothing until finally you were able to gasp in a lungful of air.

Still shaking you repeated your new mantra. There are people to warn. Pushing yourself up to your feet you snatched your backpack out of the sound booth and jumped out of the window. Your legs shook like jelly as you made your way cautiously back around the corner and down the block. You paused for just a moment and looked over to the intersection where it happened. You couldn’t start crying again, there wasn’t time. There are people to warn. So you started to run again.

You sprinted all the way back to Cordially, by the time you got there you were wheezing and it felt like you’d torn something at your side. The bar only had two shot glasses that were flipped over. Not even bothering to flip your own you kept moving. Running down the stairs you nearly snapped your ankle slipping off the bottom step.

Baekhyun stared at you wide eyed from the spot he’d taken up on the couch. He’d been paranoid all morning long after what happened. Worried that you’d seen him on the roof, that you’d tell the others and you’d get him exiled from the Community for being a pervert. He didn’t even finish his whole route before coming home. He couldn’t focus and almost got attacked by a Lurker he hadn’t been paying enough attention to.

Your brain was a slushy, panicked soup as you tried to figure out who was there and who was missing. You gasped out your breaths as you looked at Baekhyun and cried out, “Yeol?!”

“Wait!” Baekhyun jumped up off the couch, “Y/n, please! It was a mistake, I shouldn’t have been there. Let’s just talk about this.”

You’d doubled over, still bleeding hands on your knees as you gasped for air. Looking up at him your forehead creased in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“What? What are you talking about?” he asked back, realizing that maybe you weren’t here for what he thought you were here for.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Chanyeol asked, ducking out from behind his sheets.

“Where’s Seul? Irene...where?” you gasped. “Get them back! Get them back here now!”

“Woah, Y/n, calm down.” Chanyeol said growing concerned, “Just breathe, what’s going on? Are you bleeding?”

“Get them!” you screamed. “He’s here. Baddie. He’s here!”

“What?” Baekhyun’s eyes blew wide, “Are you serious?”

“Why would she fucking lie?” Chanyeol asked moving quickly to the desk to find the walkie talkie. There was a second of static and then he called out, “Hello, this is Chanyeol, is anyone there?”

After a moment of deafening silence there was a panicked, “Yeol, it’s Jongin! We need help! We need help! He’s here!”

“Shit. Okay, Jongin. Hold on.” Chanyeol let out a deep breath and looked over at Baekhyun, “Check out front for them, be careful.”

“No!” you gasped, grabbing Baekhyun by the front of his shirt. “Please, Baek, stay. Don’t go out there. He killed Hyunwoo. He’ll kill you too. Please! Please don’t leave!”

“What?” Baekhyun wrapped his arms around your trembling form and helped you gently to the ground. “What did you say?”

“He k-killed…” the reality of it crashed down on you finally and you let out a sob. “He- oh god...He’s dead!”

“Okay, okay.” he pulled you into his arms even tighter, trying to soothe your breakdown. “You’re safe, I’ll stay. We’re all gonna stay here.”

He looked up at Chanyeol who’d taken the walkie to the corner to try and hear better. He was listening to Jongin as Baekhyun caught his eye.

“Hyunwoo?” he mouthed. Chanyeol nodded solemnly. “Fuck.”

Baekhyun waited until you were just lightly crying instead of hysterically sobbing before pulling away from the embrace. He pushed the hair out of your eyes and wiped the mess from your cheeks.

“I have to go see if I can find them.” he said as calmly as he could, still your eyes blew open like you were going to argue again. “Hey, no! Stay calm. I’ll be okay. You want Seul and Irene back safe, don’t you?”

You nodded and sniffled.

“Then stay here with Chanyeol, he’ll help you with your hands and by the time he’s done we’ll be back.”

Breathing heavily, trying hard not to break down again, you clutched the front of his shirt again, “Promise me.”

With his free hand he rubbed your cheek with his thumb and grinned, “We both know you don’t even like me that much.” Then taking your hand in his he gently freed himself from your death grip on him and stood up. “I promise, I will come back.”

“Baek,” you whispered, looking up at him lost for words, “I...I hate you so much.”

He couldn’t help but smile, “I know. I love you too.”

You felt helpless as you watched him grab his weapons and take the stairs two at a time. Then suddenly he was just gone from view. Chanyeol was hovering over a map of the city, still on the walkie talkie. He was trying to reassure Taemin and Jongin that everything was going to be okay while he started check-ins with the other families. He told them to stay low and locked in.

Once he’d calmed them down enough he started on you. He pulled you to your feet, however shakily, and helped you get the knives off your thigh. Then he brought you over to the desk and helped you clean your hands while he kept up with check ins. You felt numb as you watched him pour water over your hands, the dirt and blood washing off into the bowl beneath them. Then he carefully pulled the left over bits of glass from your palms with tweezers. You didn’t even move when he poured hydrogen peroxide over the cuts. You started to realize he’d been trying to talk to you.

“Everything’s going to be okay.” He said, “We’re gonna figure this out.”

He repeated it over and over. You thought maybe he was saying it more for himself than for you. When he’d finished wrapping your hands you tried to distract yourself by helping him with check-ins, taking note of those who had made it back to their bunkers. Listening in on the ones who had witnessed him, and marking on the map where they’d seen him and when. Hearing almost everyone's voices was calming. However when everything was done only twenty out of thirty-two were accounted for. Seulgi, Irene, and now Baekhyun were part of the missing.

An hour and a half passed by quickly and still nothing. It was almost sundown. You sat on the couch and picked a few leftover pieces of glass from where they’d gotten caught in your jeans. You wondered whether or not it was too late in life to start seriously praying. Chanyeol was sitting in the desk chair with his head in his hands as the two of you waited. The two of you shared twin legs, bouncing relentlessly with anxiety. It was so quiet between the two of you that you could hear the stomping upstairs before the door to the basement crashed open.

“Chanyeol?!” Seulgi shouted as she flew down the stairs.

He was there in a matter of steps to meet her at the bottom before she made it there herself. She jumped off the last step and wrapped her arms around him so tight you thought he might snap. Her face was covered in tears as she kissed his cheeks and he kissed hers. You were relieved to see her but there was a heavy weight on your chest as they told each other how much they loved one another. Finally her eyes moved over his shoulder and she saw you.

“Oh my god, Y/n!” she said moving out of his arms to the couch and wrapping her arms around you. “Are you okay? What happened?”

She flipped your hands over to check your bandages. “I’m fine, it’s nothing. Are you okay?”

She nodded, “Scratches from the run back but yeah, I’m okay.”

“Did you see Ba- where’s Irene? Is she okay?”

“She’s hurt, that's what took so long. It’s her ankle, I’m sure she just twisted it. We had bunkered down, I wasn’t sure how we were gonna get back but Baek found us. He’s helping her back but he told me to run ahead to safety.”

“I should go. I should help him.” she grabbed your wrist tightly.

“No.” she said pointedly, “He said specifically not to let you leave. He said he’s fine. I promise, y/n, they were right behind me.”

“Okay.” you nodded, your leg still shaking anxiously.

“I’m going to go check with Yeol, see what we need to do to prepare.” She grabbed your face in her hands, making you look at her, “Stay. Here. I’m serious.”

You watched as she stood and moved over to the desk with Chanyeol. He was back on the walkie with the other leaders, leaning over the map and soon Seulgi was joining him. As quietly as you could you moved toward the stairs and grabbed your new knives. Keeping your eyes on Chanyeol and Seulgi you crept up the stairs.

Once you were out of the basement you rushed to holster your knives as you went to the door. You paused for a moment before reaching for the handle. Before you could the door burst open, slamming against the wall. You let out a scream and jumped back. Baekhyun was standing in the doorway holding Irene in his arms. His jaw clenched tight when he saw you standing there, ready to go. Guns, well blades, blazing.

He was tense as he pushed through the door, “And where were you going?”

“Nowhere.” You lied as you closed the door and slid the two by four into place. “I just wanted to get the door for you. I knew you’d have your arms full.”

“Bullshit.” He spat angrily.

By then Chanyeol and Seulgi had heard your scream and made their way upstairs to see what had happened. They exchanged a few words as Chanyeol grabbed Irene from Baekhyun and moved back downstairs. Baekhyun stayed, his shoulders tense as he watched Chanyeol retreat into the basement. You quickly turned back to the door to close the curtains. He was pissed. He didn’t usually get pissed, so you could always tell easily when he was. And he was going to let you know just how pissed.

“I said don’t leave. I said I was fine. And I know Seulgi told you everything I said.” He practically growled as he turned towards you. You kept your back to him, staring at the curtains wondering how you could disappear into them.

“I didn’t leave.” You said with a gulp. “Technically.”

“You were about to!” He shouted, and you spun around, “Why can’t you listen ever? Why do you always think you know better than everyone else? You’re so much more capable, right? None of us could ever survive without you!”

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay! I could have helped.” You shivered at the sight of how livid he was. The back of his neck and ears were red and he was dripping sweat.

“No, you couldn’t have! I didn’t need your help. What I needed was for you to sit your ass in the basement and stay safe.” He spat, “Everyone knows you’re strong, y/n. We know you’re tough. We know you can handle everything on your own. Well guess what, y/n? So can I! I’m just as tough. I’m just as capable.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t.”

“That’s exactly what you were saying by trying to come out there! You think I need help, that I can’t do it. It says you don’t trust me enough to let me take care of it on my own.” He continued to yell, you pushed back into the locked door. “You always get so mad when anyone wants to help you. You think everyone thinks you’re weak. Then you go and do the same shit you hate to everyone else. And what fucking good would it have done? What if you went in the opposite direction? What if you didn’t know we’d made it back? Then I have to go back out there and try to find you too because you couldn’t curb your ego just this once. Then we’re both out there. Then we both die. Great fucking idea, genius.”

“Stop!” Seulgi hissed from the other side of the bar, “Stop yelling and come downstairs before Baddie hears you and comes in here to kill all of us.”

Baekhyun glared over at you, he practically snarled, “It’s not worth arguing over anyway. Not like she ever listens.”

You watched in shock, eyes glistening with tears, as he walked away. He’d never, in the entire time you’d known him, yelled at you like that. Not even close. You were shaken. There had been a barstool at the counter that he passed and then he paused. Taking a step back he grabbed the stool and hurled it across the empty hall. When it landed two of the legs were smashed off and skidded across the polished floor. He didn’t say anything else, just stomped down the stairs to the basement.

“You okay?” Seulgi asked, she came over to the door and threw an arm over your frozen shoulder.

“Fine.” you said and shook it off. “He’s right.”

“I told you not to leave.” she said with a shrug as the two of you walked back towards the basement.

“I didn’t even-“

“What?” she laughed, “you didn’t even get the chance to step out of the building?”

“Exactly!” you pouted.

She continued to laugh as you reached the steps. “Amazing, how you continue to miss the point.”

“Which is?”

“He loves you. He yelled at you because the idea of losing you is too much. I would have said the same shit to Yeol. A hundred percent.”

“Well I love you guys too. That’s why I wanted to help.” The two of you had paused at the top of the stairs as she closed the door.

“No, Y/n.” She shook her head gently and sighed. “He’s in love with you.”

You shook your head this time but more defiantly, “No. If he’s in love with anyone it’s with Chanyeol.”

“You love him too.” She said quietly.

You looked back at her, almost disgusted. “I don’t. I don’t love him any more than I do any of you. Actually, I probably love him less. He’s...clingy, and always in my business. And he thinks he’s so funny. It’s annoying.”

“You love him.” She repeated, and looked at you seriously, more serious than she usually did, “I hope you realize that before you lose him.”

“Byun Baekhyun is a cockroach. He can survive anything. He’s not going anywhere.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself.” She said, raising her eyebrows. You just groaned before making your way down the last of the stairs.

Tension in the basement was thick that night. Chanyeol was stressed to the point that it looked like he might tear his hair out. It seemed like Seulgi had given up on you for the evening. Even after another couple of hours passed Baekhyun still wouldn’t even look at you. And all of you, in general, were on high alert with the threat of Baddie somewhere out in the city. Seulgi setup Irene on the couch so that she could rest and elevate her ankle, which luckily had been twisted but wasn’t broken. The rest of you sat around the room, mostly patient, as Chanyeol connected with the other families over the walkies to devise a plan for the next day.

It seemed simple enough. Each family was to take an inventory of everything they had, so that you knew what you had on hand to use against Baddie. Then you were all to meet at the amphitheater at noon. The sun clearly didn’t have the same effect on Baddie as it did the Lurkers, and everyone had decided that meant that you needed to be extra cautious moving around the city during the day. From there, once you were all together, you would devise your plan and take votes as necessary.

The night was finally winding down. Everyone was exhausted and hungry. You especially had been drained physically and emotionally for hours already after having to describe to your family, and everyone on the walkie talkies what you’d seen. All you could think about was crashing on your cot, turning on some music, and contemplating never moving again. As a family you’d all taken inventory of everything you had stored away and in your bags. Everything would have been fine, but then Chanyeol had to push that he knew you kept spare batteries.

“Chanyeol!” You whined, “come on, seriously? It’s two batteries.”

“Y/n, I’m sorry.” He said sternly, “It sucks and I’m sorry. I know you’re almost always the one that gets them for us, but you know he’s an energy vampire. We don’t know where we’ll need those two batteries to go if we want to survive. What if we need extra flashlights?”

“Whatever.” You snapped, angrily dragging your bag to your lap. You pulled out your tape player and released the two batteries. You slammed them down on the table and looked up at Chanyeol, “Are we done now? Can I go?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “Thank you.”

Without another word you got up and grabbed your things before rushing off to your space. You weren’t about to stick around for dinner, it wasn’t as if you could stomach anything anyway.

Seulgi ran her hand over Chanyeol’s back as he buried his face in his palms and groaned, “I hate being the bad guy.”

“She doesn’t think you’re a bad guy.” She assured him. “She’s just having a bad day.”

“Bad day.” Irene scoffed lightly, “I can’t imagine seeing what she saw. Yeah I saw my boyfriend torn to pieces but Baddie in the flesh? That’s bad enough. Baddie killing your friend right in front of you...I’d be so messed up if I was her. It’s like watching the actual end of the world unfold in front of you.”

Baekhyun knew it was petty and it was insensitive but part of him just couldn’t help but mutter out, “Doesn’t get worse than Baddie killing your boyfriend then.”

Irene shook her head, “They weren’t together.”

“They liked each other.” He argued.

“He liked her,” Seulgi sighed, exhausted, “but she likes-“

“Now's not the time, Seul.” Chanyeol said, putting a gentle hand on her leg, “We should eat and get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be rough enough as it is. We have a lot of decisions to make.”

After getting ready for bed you laid on your cot quietly as you listened to the others. You picked at the loose threads on your blanket as you tried to imagine what everything they were doing looked like. The sounds of food being made on the hot plate, the smell of something bland. They talked for a little bit about Hyunwoo, memories of him. Then they discussed whether or not they thought the rest of the missing were dead too. You weren’t trying to eavesdrop, it just wasn’t hard to hear everything everyone said and did.

You watched the lights fade on the ceiling as lanterns went out for the night and people headed to bed. As you laid there in the silence you were certain that you wouldn’t be able to get to sleep. Not with how loud your thoughts were in your head. You’d been laying there, contemplating grabbing a book when you heard Baekhyun's voice came from the other side of your privacy sheet.

“Knock, Knock.”

“What?” You said with a little more bite than you intended.

He dipped his head in between your sheets, “You’re supposed to say, ‘who's there’. You ruined the joke.”

“What do you want, Baek?” You sighed. “Come to yell at me some more? Tell me what a shitty person I am? Because I think you really made your point earlier.”

You watched from your bed as Baekhyun dipped all the way inside through the sheet and sat down on the cot next to your legs.

He waited a moment and said, “You're not shitty and I'm sorry I yelled at you. Tensions were very high. I was just worried, scared. I don’t know, whatever it was, you didn’t deserve that.”

“Yes, I did.” You sat up, pushing your back against the wall. “You were right. What I was going to do was stupid and reckless. I could have gotten all of you killed.”

He looked at you, eyebrows raised. “Say that one more time. The thing about me being right.”

You shook your head. “I will not and you can’t prove I ever did.”

He grinned and looked down at his lap. “I really was just worried. If I’d come down here and you were missing-”

“I know.” You said quietly.

“Anyway, I’m still sorry I yelled. Even if I was, as you said in your very own words, right.” he put his hand down next to your thigh and removed it to reveal two batteries and a granola bar. “If he asks where you got them...”

“He’ll never find out.” Your straight face turned into a smile. Your smile grew and grew until finally turning into a laugh. What you’d really wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and cry about how much it meant to you, but you also weren’t in the mood to cry any more today.

“There it is.” he smiled, rubbing his thumb over your appled cheek, he looked at his watch and then turned its face towards you. It was only eleven. “I made it with time to spare. The smile a day streak continues, gotta be a word record by now.”

You sighed and sank down onto your mattress. “Go to bed, Baek.”

“Right here? With you!” his eyes went wide and his smile was blinding as he joked.

“No!” you groaned as he pushed himself next to you on the mattress anyway. You shoved his chest lamely, “Get off, go to your bed.”

He pouted, burying his face in your side before mumbling, “but you’re so soft and warm.”

“You’re so annoying, Byun Baekhyun!” you said though it was through a laugh. You pushed him with all your strength until the only part of him left on your bed was his stubborn head. His eyes were closed as if he were resting but the smile on his face was bold and pleased. “I hate you so much!”

Still shaking with laughter he stood up finally and gave you a pat on the head, “I love you too, y/n.”

“Hey, Baek…” you said quietly as he reached the sheet. He turned and looked over at you expectantly. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“I promised I’d come back, right?” with a small smile you nodded, “Sleep tight.”

#byun baekhyun scenario #baekhyun scenario #exo scenarios #baekhyun smut #exo smut #kpop scenario #TEOTFW #baekhyun x reader

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megalony · 4 years

Text

Heartbeat- Part 6

I know it has taken me a while to get back to this Ben Hardy story but I finally managed to finish this next part which I hope you will all enjoy. There is some fluff and confliction ahead, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @ispewglitter

Series masterlist

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) haven’t been together long when they find out their pregnant. But (Y/n) fears she’ll lose the baby after suffering miscarriages before with her ex, Gwilym who is making things complicated.

Enjoy.

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Ben didn't know what woke him up at such an early hour in the morning, but he could sense and feel that something wasn't quite right. He laid on his back, his eyes trying to make out the patterns on the ceiling through the darkness as he felt his mind very slowly beginning to wake up and come around. But when he started to become aware of his surroundings, Ben realised why he must have woken up so suddenly like this.

(Y/n) was mumbling something.

For a few seconds, all Ben could think of was that she was talking to someone quietly on the phone because all the times they had slept together, Ben had never known (Y/n) to sleep talk or mumble or make a sound in her sleep. But when Ben looked over at her, he noticed she wasn't really speaking, it was soft murmurs leaving her lips suggesting she wasn't awake and talking on the phone or to herself.

Reaching over he turned on the bedside lamp to try and get a better look at (Y/n) laid beside him. He'd never known her to talk or mumble in her sleep like this and she never normally had any vivid kind of dreams that she acted out. But right now she was mumbling something he couldn't make out and she was laid on her back which was unusual for her. She had both arms wrapped around her stomach and her knees pulled up like she was in some kind of pain, but Ben couldn't tell if it was pain or the dream making her distressed like this.

When (Y/n)'s features scrunched up like she was in pain, Ben delicately placed his hand on her shoulder, trying carefully to wake her up without causing her any further distress.

"Baby... baby wake up. You're okay, it's okay."

Ben jolted almost as harshly as (Y/n) did when her eyes opened and frantically scanned around until they found his. Her breathing was fast and erratic and for a moment it was like she didn't know where she was.

The frantic look in (Y/n)'s eyes didn't disappear, it seemed to increase when tears started to fall down her features but the moment her hand pressed to her stomach Ben saw it, she looked like she had shocked herself. She started to shake and her breathing got worse to the point he didn't think she was really breathing at all.

Moving his hands, he cupped her face and smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks to try and calm her down.

"Shh, hey just breathe with me, in and out." Ben tried to get (Y/n) to copy his breathing but even though she managed to breathe better, she still looked confused. Whatever she had been dreaming about, she had been stuck in very deep to the point she still wasn't out of the dream yet.

"T-the baby..." (Y/n) didn't know what she was asking or trying to say to Ben but she worried him all the same. He pulled back just enough to be able to look at her baby bump, wondering for a moment if she was in pain or thought something was wrong. He very slowly and cautiously placed his hand over her own that was pressed against her stomach like she was trying to press down and touch the baby or reassure herself that their daughter was really there.

"She's right here, love."

His words didn't calm her down, if anything they made (Y/n)'s tears fall faster as she moved her hands to press down on the bed so she could try and push herself so she was sitting up in bed. Ben moved back so he could sit up properly before helping (Y/n) to sit up, it took a lot out of him to stop himself from crying at how broken and unsettled she seemed, especially when he didn't understand why.

"The blood, t-there's so much blood." (Y/n) wiped the tears from her eyes before she threw the cover off her frame, running her shaking hands over her legs before looking at the bed. The word 'blood' passed through her lips again and Ben could see the way she was tracing the bed sheet like she thought it would be soaked with blood.

"Baby... there's no blood. You're not bleeding, you're fine I promise you." Ben traced his own fingers over the sheets as if to prove his point before his saddened, worried eyes locked with her own as he waited to see what her reaction would be. "Look, she's still here with us, you're both fine it was just a dream."

Ben moved his hand back to her stomach and started tracing small designs over her skin, trying to prove that he wasn't lying. Nothing had happened to either of them during the night, they hadn't lost their girl and (Y/n) was fine, she wasn't bleeding or in any danger or pain, both his girls were okay. (Y/n) just had some kind of bad dream that was affecting her.

(Y/n) took Ben by surprise when she suddenly pushed herself forward until her head was tucked into Ben's neck and her arms were wrapped around his shoulders. When he wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her closer (Y/n) felt like she was both panicking yet calming down at the same time.

"I- I remembered... the bleeding w-wouldn't stop, it was the furthest I'd got..."

Ben turned his head so he could kiss (Y/n)'s temple, holding her just a bit tighter to try and reassure her she was okay.

Now he understood.

She'd dreamt of when she lost her baby at fourteen weeks, that was when she said the bleeding wouldn't stop for days and Gwilym had to take her to hospital. (Y/n) had never gotten this far in a pregnancy, she'd never gotten to seven months before and it was unnerving her because she knew something could happen at any point and she could lose the baby.

"I d-don't want to lose her-"

"We won't. We've gotten this far and nothing's happened, trust me she's gonna be fine. Our perfect girl."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raking her fingers through her hair, (Y/n) quickly gathered up the strands and tied a band around her hair to keep it from her features as she made her way over to the door. She hummed a tune as she headed down the hall, wondering who was here. Ben wasn't home so it was unlikely someone was here to see him, they weren't expecting anyone or any deliveries or family or friends over. And (Y/n) couldn't think of anyone who would come to see her considering many of her friends didn't know her new address yet since she had moved in with Ben.

The random melody that (Y/n) was humming abruptly stopped the moment she unlocked the door and looked at who was standing there on the other side of the threshold.

"Gwil." She breathed through the name she didn't want to say anymore due to the memories it provoked.

What was he doing here? Was he here to see Ben, did he know that (Y/n) was living here now and that was the reason he was here? Why would he want to come and talk to (Y/n) considering that the last time they properly spoke it was to argue about how he found out about the baby.

"Hey, can I come in?"

"Ben isn't here."

"That's good, because it's you I'm here to see." He looked rather boyish and if not shy with the way he stuffed his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders, looking up at (Y/n) through his lashes with his chin tilted down. It was as if he was afraid she was going to shut the door in his face or shout and tell him to leave. (Y/n) half felt like slamming the door and leaving him there after what had been said between them over the past few months. But Gwilym didn't look angry or hurt or like he was here to start a fight and (Y/n) didn't want anymore fights or hardship between them.

(Y/n) forced a small smile before she pulled the door open all the way to allow him inside. She knew Gwilym knew his way around, he had been to Ben's place before but she saw the way he looked around the hall as he walked in. He looked around like he expected everything to be different or changed because (Y/n) was here, he seemed to think she would waltz right in and change the decor or add pictures or paint the whole house.

"Why are you here?" (Y/n) tried her best not to sound rude or inconsiderate but she didn't want to beat around the bush when they both sat down on the sofa. She wanted to know what he was here for and what they were going to be talking about because she was unnerved that he was here.

(Y/n) didn't know how to act around Gwilym anymore or what she was meant to say or do. Everything felt tainted and wrong and she felt awful that things between them were rocky and uneven but she couldn't change the past and she wouldn't want to. (Y/n) didn't want to change anything with Gwilym but she also didn't want to change what happened with Ben either. Even though things had gone a bit wrong along the way, this was how their lives were planning out and it wasn't all that bad.

"I wanted to see how you are... and to try and patch things up. I knew you wouldn't answer if I rang and I'm not exactly on speaking terms with Ben either." Gwilym rubbed at the back of his neck in a way he always did when he got nervous about something.

"I'm doing okay, but there is a reason we wouldn't answer your calls... Ben told me what you said at the bar and you were pretty angry when I tried talking to you about it."

There was no beating around the bush on this subject. The reason (Y/n) and Ben didn't answer Gwilym's calls or texts was because the last time they had both spoken to him it had ended in arguments. Ben rarely ever lost his temper but on that occasion in the pub he had almost started a fight with Gwilym and after that (Y/n) tried calling him but they only ended in another fight. It seemed easier to just try and ignore his calls and forget about the arguing than to try and make amends which didn't seem or feel at all possible.

"I know, I know what I said and it was wrong, but I was upset. A baby is the reason we broke up and then I found out you were having a baby with him, you didn't even tell me."

"We broke up because we weren't working anymore, it wasn't just about a baby and me and Ben weren't trying for a baby I never led him on like that."

"It felt like you didn't want me to know-"

"Ben wanted to tell you but truthfully I didn't. We were going to tell you but then you found out but I knew the moment you found out this would happen. You would think I was using Ben to my advantage and dumping you because it wasn't working for us."

(Y/n) wasn't stupid, she knew that no amount of time was ever going to help if she did decide to have a baby in the future. Whether it was now or years into the future it was always going to hurt Gwilym if she managed to have a baby because they tried so hard to make it work and it never did. But (Y/n) knew having a baby with Ben so soon after leaving Gwilym was going to make him think she had broken off their engagement so she could find someone else to have a baby with.

"I only said that because I was hurt. I watched you go to all those hospital appointments and come out crying, I sat with you when you took every test and I drove you to hospital when you were so sick I thought you were dying. Then suddenly your pregnant with my friend and you're perfectly fine like you never miscarried at all."

"And that's my fault that this time I haven't lost the baby? Like I planned it out perfectly? Do you know how badly that scared me, that every single time with you I was incapable of doing something every other woman can do and then on the seventh time it worked? And you were the one who hurt me by telling Ben about my miscarriages which should have been my decision to make."

(Y/n) never chose to lose any of the pregnancies with Gwilym, she didn't plan this perfectly so that this one time with Ben would work, it was such horrid yet twistedly perfect luck that (Y/n) seemed fine to have a baby this time around.

As soon as (Y/n) got past the fourteen week marker she knew something was different. It was scary to think that after being with Gwilym for years and losing six pregnancies with him, all (Y/n) had to do was be with Ben for four months and she could get pregnant and have almost nothing go wrong. She knew how that would cut through Gwilym like a knife.

"That was a decision you wouldn't have made and he had to know. What if you lost the baby and were ill again, you were told by the doctor not to try and conceive and even if this wasn't planned you're still putting yourself in harms way. If Ben didn't know and something happened to you I don't think he would forgive you for not telling him."

"That doesn't give you the right to make him suspicious and tell him Gwil. If I told Ben outright from the beginning I'd lost six pregnancies or that the last one hospitalised me that would be it, it wouldn't be my decision to have a baby anymore. He would have told me he wasn't taking the risk like you did and I would have lost any future chance of having a baby with him. I'm not with him to get a baby but it's my choice if I want to take the risk, not yours."

If (Y/n) didn't want to tell Ben it was her decision and if she wanted to wait that was up to her too but Gwilym forced her hand even if he thought he was doing right by her and Ben.

It was clear as day that had Ben of known from the off, he wouldn't have agreed to having any kids with (Y/n). He would have used protection so it couldn't happen because it was a risk to her health and her life and Ben wouldn't take that risk. Ben wouldn't have kids in the future with (Y/n) and he still wasn't going to now after this baby, if (Y/n) said from the beginning then this baby now wouldn't be here. She would be robbed of the chance of being a mother even though the risk was hers to take, not Gwilym's or Ben's.

Ben might of thought that (Y/n) had planned this out as well by not telling him and getting pregnant but (Y/n) thanked the stars that Ben knew and believed that she wasn't trying to use him in any way and that she didn't plan this out.

"Alright, I'm sorry I just... I care about you, I love you and I was scared that this pregnancy would hurt or kill you. And it pains me to see that you're managing to have a baby with someone else, but I am happy for you. I want to put everything behind us and be friends, I don't want to fight anymore."

(Y/n) tipped her head down and rubbed at her tired eyes, trying to rid herself of the headache forming behind her eyes that were welling up with tears. He couldn't say that, he couldn't say after everything that he loved her because he shouldn't. (Y/n) had hurt him by breaking things off with him because she didn't love him anymore and she had hurt him further by falling for his friend and having a baby with him. Gwilym shouldn't love her after everything and he couldn't say he did because that wasn't fair to any of them.

"Then you shouldn't tell me you love me because you-" (Y/n) brought her hand to her mouth and bit down on her thumb when the sound of the front door caught her attention.

"Who loves you?" There was a playful tone to Ben's voice that made (Y/n)'s eyes well with fear as she couldn't bring herself to come up with a response.

Her eyes locked with Gwilym's who looked a mix between calm and terrified because they both knew Ben wasn't going to be very nice when he walked in and saw who was here and put the pieces together. It was as if Gwilym was scared of what was coming but he was still rather calm like he was expecting this to happen sooner or later.

(Y/n) saw the exact moment Ben's face fell, going from a smile to pursed lips and a tight jaw when his teeth bit down tightly on the corner of his lips. His eyes looked bleak and his brows narrowed on Gwilym who tried to keep eye contact but it didn't last for more than a few seconds at most.

"I should have guessed." A sinister, crude grin pulled at Ben's lips for a few seconds as he cocked a brow at Gwilym like he wanted him to challenge him or apologise or just say something so Ben could bite back at him. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"Maybe I should go-"

"Why are you even here in the first place?" Ben snapped back like a crocodile taking a shot at its prey. He stood beside the side of the sofa (Y/n) was sitting on but he felt awkward in his own home like he had walked in on something and should leave.

"Ben, it's- it's okay, he wanted to talk and sort things out."

"What, and telling you he loves you sorts this out? I thought that would complicate things and make them worse but maybe I should just go instead." Ben couldn't fathom how Gwilym saying he still loves (Y/n) would sort this mess out, it made things worse rather than building the bridges that had been burned between them all. But maybe Ben was missing something or he shouldn't be here and should just let them work this out.

"No, it doesn't sort this out and maybe I shouldn't have just said that but I can't lie and say I don't still love her."

"But you can't come here and say that. Do you honestly think telling her you still love her with make a difference or make things better? You were out of order practically shouting at her down the phone and implying to both of us you thought she was playing me but then to come round and say you love her is cruel."

Ben didn't care why Gwilym said the things he did or how this had affected him because what he was saying and doing weren't okay. He couldn't keep telling (Y/n) he loved her and then be angry with her, he knew she didn't love him and he knew that he had no chance of being with her when she was happy with Ben and was having a baby. If he wanted to be on good terms with her and Ben he had to stop this now.

"I've already tried talking to (Y/n) about this I don't want to argue with either of you and what I said was wrong I know that but I can't take back what I said when I was hurt-"

"I don't give a shit what you've already said, you're sorry for what you said but you wouldn't accept me or (Y/n) saying we were sorry for hurting you by being together. You're a hypocrite and a lovesick puppy Gwil and if you want to be on good terms your going about it in the wrong way."

"Ben that's enough."

(Y/n) sighed through her words before she pushed herself up from the sofa and moved to stand beside Ben like she thought he was going to lunge at Gwilym any second now. What he said made sense but Gwilym was here to make amends and (Y/n) was sick of the fighting and the arguments and the pain they were causing each other. She just wanted it to stop and another fight wasn't going to make things any better.

"Gwil, I think it's time you left. If you want to make amends then you have to move on." (Y/n) knew that the only way they could all make things better was for them to keep the past behind them. She and Ben weren't blameless but they were trying and if Gwilym tried to move on too he would find things so much easier. He could move on with someone else and be happy and they could all try and be civil with each other.

Gwilym nodded and stood to his feet, moving around the sofa to head in the direction of the front door but his expression made (Y/n) rather worried. He had something to say, something on his mind and although he was usually good at biting his tongue and dropping and not starting arguments, it seemed to be rather hard for him to do that today. He got into the hallway and close to the door before he turned to look at (Y/n), knowing she was following to walk him out.

"It feels near impossible to move on after everything we went through and it's harder than I ever thought it would be to try and move on when I know you've finally got the family you wanted without me. I feel like you've left me behind, but I know I can't expect you to understand that, given how quickly you decided to move on and how easy you found it to be with someone else. You may not have intended to have the baby but you certainly got what you wanted."

He knew it was wrong to be angry that (Y/n) was finally able to have the baby she had wanted but it hurt to know she could have that wish without him and with someone Gwilym was close to.

"I think there's a reason for that."

Gwilym had been so close, he had opened the door and was so close to walking out and not looking back or letting this form into another argument but when he heard Ben's voice he had to stop and look over his shoulder. He had to know what Ben was referring to before he left, just like a fish, Gwilym took the bait Ben was throwing his way.

"What?"

Ben looked down at (Y/n) who was stood in front of him and it was as if she knew what he was going to say. There was a warning look in her eyes and she shook her head, they didn't need an argument but Ben was too riled up to stop now.

"Think about it. All those years with you and all the times you tried for a baby and it never worked. Then (Y/n) got with me and look where we are. No doctor could find anything wrong with her and we didn't even have to fucking try to get pregnant. I'd say that means there's something wrong with you if all it takes is a few months with me to have a baby."

A shudder ran down (Y/n)'s spine at Ben's rather cruel words towards Gwilym but she would be wrong if she said she didn't think about that even once during this pregnancy. Deep down (Y/n) was sure there had to be something wrong because she lost each pregnancy without cause and even this time she lost a twin even if nothing else had gone wrong during this pregnancy.

But Ben was right when he said that they didn't even have to try to get pregnant or have this pregnancy work. With Gwilym they tried hard to have a baby and make sure nothing went wrong but they could never prevent any of the miscarriages.

"Don't you dare go down that road-"

"Why not? It's a fair assumption considering there isn't anything wrong with (Y/n) because that means it should probably be you, right? If all it took to have a viable pregnancy was me then she should have fucked me years ago and saved you the trouble."

(Y/n) took a step back when Gwilym slammed the door shut out of anger and Ben took a few steps closer to him like he wanted a fight but his head briefly turned to look at (Y/n) when she grabbed his arm. She was not having a fight break out no matter how angry any of them were, it wasn't worth it and she wasn't in the mood to play referee. What Ben said was cruel and out of order just like what Gwilym had said before about (Y/n) and she had been wrong in wanting to wait to tell Gwilym about the baby. They had all been and were all wrong at some point but it had to stop now.

"That is enough! Gwilym, you need to leave. Now. And you need to go and cool off because that was uncalled for and beyond cruel."

The moment Gwilym left and slammed the door so harshly behind him that it almost came off its hinges, (Y/n) took a moment to catch her breath before she dared to follow Ben who had stormed into the kitchen in a rage. He was stood leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen, a look of unfiltered anger on his face that (Y/n) had never seen before.

"Why did you have to say that? He may have been wrong about saying he loved me but there was no need for you to say something like that."

"I said it because I think it's true." Ben folded his arms over his chest, leaning his hips back against the counter as his head turned to the side to look over at (Y/n) with raised brows. His response seemed to have taken her by surprise, but not in a good way. "He was spiteful when he told me about your miscarriages and he was pissed we got to fifteen weeks but neither of you think about it like it is. There isn't anything wrong with you (Y/n), no medical issues whatsoever and we're seven months along and you've had no problems-"

"I still lost a baby this time Ben, remember?" (Y/n)'s tone was bitter but it had no effect on Ben like he hadn't heard her.

"You had vanishing twin syndrome which is common, other than that you've been fine. No other bleeding, no pain, no problems with the baby or how she's growing, everything is picture perfect without Gwil in the picture and you think that's normal? It might not be true and something might be wrong with you but if he can say spiteful shit why can't I?"

Ben grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a long sip before he leaned back against the counter.

He could be wrong and he knew that, there was no evidence or proof or proper suspicion that there was something wrong with Gwilym or that him and (Y/n) just weren't compatible to have a baby. But Ben found it odd that he and (Y/n) were this far along on their first try with a baby and there had been nothing seriously wrong at all. Ben was glad nothing had gone wrong but it just made him wonder why, he wondered why they were so special that this attempt was finally working and paying off for (Y/n).

With a shake of her head, (Y/n) grabbed her previously forgotten drink from the counter before she turned on her heels and went to walk away. But she stopped when she caught what Ben whispered in such a malice, sinister joking way which left her speechless.

"Six failed attempts before you get a baby. Come fuck me ladies, guaranteed to work first time."

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