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giannasturn · 15 hours

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༊*·˚ the cut that always bleeds.. 🩸🩹 M.S

W A R N I N G S: angst, situationship, sex, alcohol, smoking, kinda toxic Matt?, fighting, swearing, no happy ending

S U M M A R Y: friends with benefits with Matt turns into the biggest heartbreak you’ve ever experienced when you catch feelings but he doesn’t.

THIS IS MY WORK, MY IDEA, NO STEALING !!

4 months ago..

“that was fucking amazing” Matt, your best friends brother says. “Yeah it was” you say.

It just kept happening, you would find yourself in his bed almost every night, and you would find yourselves hooking up at every party you showed up to together.

One night, after you guys had hooked up, he asked you if you wanted to be “friends with benefits” you agreed, with no strings attached and the cycle just kept repeating.

Now..

Matt cleans you up with the rag that was already laying on his floor from yesterday, “I think I’m gonna go” you say, as he stands up and throws the rag in the laundry.

“Why?” He asks. Deep down in your head you know why. You cannot lay on his chest while he plays with your hair again, you cannot go on another late drive to get food and have a deep talk together again, you just can’t.

Your heart falls in love with him a little more every time you spend time with him, “i just need to leave” you say.

“Well okay, bye y/n.” He says while kissing your cheek.

You let out a quick “bye” while tying on your shoes and heading out the door.

You get in your car and start heading towards your apartment which you shared with your best friend Ava.

Ava was the only one who knew about your feelings for Matt, and it was gonna stay that way. Right..?

🎶 I can’t be your lover on a leash, every other week when you please. 🎶

“I just can’t do it anymore Ava” you say while eating ice cream sitting on your shared couch. “I wanted nothing more but to just hold him and kiss him but I know if I would, it would just kill me even more.”

“You have to let him go” Ava says, “no no, I can get over these stupid feelings I know I can.” “I just can’t let him go” you say.

You feel a buzz in the pocket of your baggy sweatpants, you grab your phone to see it’s Matt.

“You have to ignore him girl” Ava says. “I know” you say.

No matter how much it pained you you know Ava is right. So you do just that, you ignore him.

Next thing you know you hear your phone start buzzing again, this time Matt is calling you.

You cant help yourself so you pick up.

“Hello?” Matt says with a confused tone in his voice

“Hey” you say.

“Why didn’t you answer my text?” Matt says, sounding almost concerned.

“I just didn’t, why do you care so much” I say.

I dont wanna be rude, but if I wasn’t then I know I would end up just acting like his little side hoe again, and I couldn’t keep doing that.

“Wow someone’s grouchy” he says.

“Matt what do you want, why did you call”

“Why are you getting so upset with me?” Matt says.

“Did I do something”

“Matt just leave me alone.” I say while hanging up.

- - -

🎶 cause you keep me on a rope, and tied a noose around my throat. 🎶

Fuck me. I think to myself, as I stand in this random persons house, at a party I was invited too last minute.

“Cmonnn, you gotta loosen up a bit” Madi says. I know she’s right, but all I wanna do is look for Matt and lay on his chest while his soft gentle fingers run through my hair.

“Maybe you could find someone else to hook up with even” Ava says. “Okay..fineee” I say.

While glancing around the room trying to find someone at least a little attractive, I see Matt with a random blonde tracing his tattoos and giving him “fuck me” eyes.

I move my eyes down a little bit and see his hand on her ass. Fuck, I think to myself.

As the tears start forming at my eyes, I feel my chest start to tighten.

I run through the crowd trying not to make it obvious that I’m upset, until I find a door and open it, only to find 2 random people fucking each other. “Sorry!” I say while storming out.

I find another door and open it, thank god nobody’s in this one. My back hits the door and I slide down it while heavy sobs escape my mouth.

I hear a knock at the door, “hey y/n you in there?” I hear from a familiar voice, Matt’s voice.

I try to stay silent but then once I feel the door push my back foward, I realize that I forgot to lock the door.

“What’s wrong, baby?” The words escape his mouth so easily, yet effect me so much.

“I’m fine, Matt really just leave me alone” I say.

“No, what is wrong? It’s obvious I did something.” He says.

I’m in love with you Matt. I wanna say, but of course, I don’t.

“Did you not fin- fuck y/n you didn’t finish did you.” He says.

“Oh my god Matt yes I fucking finished dumbass” I say.

“I think you just need to loosen up” he says, picking me off the ground gently

Before I know it, he turns me around an slams me against the door

He slowly lifts up my dress with his hands, and moves my underwear to the side.

Without a warning, he inserts 2 fingers into me. “Fuck matt” I say.

“Now.. you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He says.

“It’s nothing I’m just going through a tough time right now” I say, breathing heavily and trying not to moan.

- - -

🎶you know what your doing when your coming back, and I don’t wanna have another heart attack🎶

He puts my clothing back on, kissing all over my body. “So pretty” he says. “And your all mine” he says. Killing me

“fuck I love you” he says. Killing me.

I agree to go back to his house and hangout for a bit. I knew I shouldn’t, but at the end of the day he is also my best friend and I just missed it.

“you know, i enjoy fucking, but I also just enjoy your presence and hanging out with you.” He says while rubbing my thigh. Killing me.

“Yeah me too” I say. “Then why have you been so distant?” He says. I know I shouldn’t admit anything, but maybe he deserves to know something at least.

“Well when we were at the party earlier, and I saw your hand on that girls ass” “I kinda got upset and I-“ I say before he cuts me off

“Y/n, we never agreed to not seeing other people.” “We are just friends with benefits right?” He says.

“Right.” I say. Killing me

- - -

🎶 but even though your killing me, yeah 🎶

Everything he is doing is killing me. The kisses and praises he leaves all over my body after sex killed me.

Every time I seen him go on a date, or dancing with another girl at a party killed me.

But most importantly, every time he has to remind me that we are just friends kills me.

I know this is not good, I know leaving his house bawling my eyes out was not good for me.

Everyone tells me I need to tell him. My therapist, my friends, even his brothers, which now know about my feelings because I mean come on it’s pretty obvious.

It could be the fact that it’s midnight, or the fact that that I smoked 2 j’s, but i think its time to tell him.

I get into my car, put some music on and before I can think I start driving.

- - -

I arrive at his door, and immediately knock. Nick & Chris don’t stay up that late but Matt does so Matt answers the door.

“Hey y/n, you didn’t tell me you were coming”

“I know” I say. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah sure” he says. Opening the door wider for me to come in.

We arrive to his room, and the tension is high. He can tell something’s off, and my heart is pounding out of my chest.

“Y/n what the fuck is wrong?” “You ignore me, and then we have sex and you don’t let me even hold you!”

“I don’t fucking understand, you say your going through a tough time but you don’t tell me anything!” He says.

“Matt it’s cause I’m fucking in love with you.” I say.

…. The silence is a unbearable amount of loud and the air becomes even more tense if that’s possible

“Every time you kiss me it kills me because I know we won’t ever be able to do that without fucking.”

“Every time you hold me, it kills me because I know your just doing it because you just nearly took my ability to walk away.”

“Every time you call me yours it kills me because I know that I’m not, and I never will be”

“I thought maybe if I ignored you it would get better and these feelings would pass but the more I ignored you the more it hurt and I couldn’t take it anymore” I say.

“I can’t just fucking be your lover when you want me to be, and then see you eye fucking a ton of other girls at parties” I say

“You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve me. I caught feelings and this is all my fault.”

“But I also don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve to feel like I’m getting stabbed anytime I come near you.” I say while leaving his room and slamming the door on my way out.

My chest feels tighter then it ever has, but I also somehow feel relieved. I finally let it out, I don’t feel so locked up anymore.

I run out of the house ignoring all of the “y/n wait!” “Y/n comeback” s that come out of his mouth.

- - -

🎶 beat my heart to black and blue 🎶

When I arrive home, I walk in sobbing and Immediately drop to the floor.

“Oh my god y/n what happened” Ava says.

I am on the verge of passing out, everything around me is tuned out and my eyes are blurry, quite frankly I don’t know how I survived the drive home. I felt light headed and like I was about to puke.

“Y/n stay with me, everything’s going to be okay” Ava says.

- - -

Everything from that night is a blur. I know what happened and I know what I did, but all the details are erased from my brain.

My room reeks of alcohol, weed, and just disgustingness considering I haven’t cleaned my room, nor got out of my bed for 4 days.

I haven’t gotten any messages from Matt, he hasn’t came here, he’s just gone.

There’s been music blaring in my room for 3 hours straight, the songs going from sad, to chill, to hype music where I start convincing myself I’m over it until it turns back into sad music again.

“The cut that always bleeds” by Conan Grey turns on, and I immediately turn it all the way up.

This song can explain me and Matt’s relationship more then I can, and I can’t listen to it without bawling my eyes out.

“Oooh, oooh, but even though your killing me” I sing while my head lays back on my headboard

Tears start streaming down my face, Matt’s shirt I haven’t token off for 4 days getting soaked from my tears.

“I need you like the air I breath”

“I need, I need you more than me.”

No matter how much I don’t wanna admit it, I need Matt more then anything. I need his hands rubbing all over me, i need his lips against mine, I need our hands interlinked. I need him………

…. The end.

A/N, this is my 2nd fic ever, I think this fic is way better then my 1st one, but I still don’t know if I would consider it good, anywho I love the cut that always bleeds but I can’t listen to it without crying so I thought why not make a fic about it!! I love angst and couldn’t wait to write it so I did just that. Hope you enjoyed!! 😋😋

TAGLIST:

@bernardsbendystraws comment if u wanna be added !!

#Spotify #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #fandom #fanfic #tumblr fyp #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #conan grey #sturniolo fanfic #giannasturn

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urabri · 6 months

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Madison Beer social media AU

A/N: this is my first post so don’t judge too hard!! I made it because there weren’t many Wlw social media au’s so here I am! Madison Beer x Singer!reader

Face claim: Gracie Abrams

yourinstagram

Thank you all so much for joining me on my first ever tour it was absolutely one of the best experience of my life Love you guys ❤️

y/nfan guys I saw her and she was great!

y/nfan4 I’ve been a fan since the Ep 💪💪

taylorswift ❤️❤️

↳ Liked by yourinstagram

conangray go bestie! ↳ Liked by yourinstagram

Y/N’sbiggestfanpage

Did you guys hear on DuexMoi that Y/N and Madison Beer are dating?? (Also her in this photo>>)

y/nfan2 not sure since DuexMoi isn’t the most trustworthy source

↳ Y/N’sbiggestfanpage that’s true

y/nlover Idk but I think they’d be cute

↳ Y/N’sbiggestfanpage Yeah same! they’re both gorgeous too

Celebritynews

Madison Beer seen leaving Y/N Y/L/N’s New York apartment after DuexMoi reported that the two have been together for around 5 months

Y/N’sbiggestfanpage OMG it’s happening!

Madisonfan2 Was I the only who thought they were joking

↳ Y/nfan3 same but I don’t hate it

Rollingstone

Y/N Y/L/N joins us to tell on Touring, Influences, Songwriting and Romance

yourinstagram thank you for having Mee❤️

↳ Rollingstone liked

Madisonfan2 did she say anything on Madison?

↳ Y/N’sbiggestfanpage Yes! I got the magazine and read the interview, She was asked on the speculation of her and Madison dating and she basically said that it’s always going to be different with a lot of people watching your relationship but it doesn’t bother her too much. Then she was asked if she’s confirming them dating and said yes they’re dating but they’ll keep it somewhat private but it won’t be a secret. She also said that after hearing Madison’s Album Life Support she DM’d her and that’s how they ended up meeting.

Celebritynews

Y/N Y/L/N and Madison spotted out getting cozy in Miami

Madisonfanpage THEY’RE SO CUTE

Y/Nfan7 wasn’t sure at first but they’re cute

yourinstagram

Photo dump

Y/Nfan1 I love how there is a random photo of Madison

oliviarodrigo 😘

Swiftie10 omg the Taylor shirt>>>

Y/Nfan3 Y/N is so prettyyy

conangray the hair in the first photo😭

↳ yourinstagram I had a wild night the day before 😭😭

yourinstagram via story

Madisonbeer

Life Lately

yourinstagram 🤫

Madisonfanpage MUSIC TOGETHER?????

Y/N’sbiggestfanpage IM DEAD

Y/Nfan5 OMG

Y/Nfan1 the world is healing

Madisonbeer

Happy Birthday to my Baby!! (She said I mustn’t post this photo but idc she looked adorable)

yourinstagram Awww thank you sm I love you 🥰 (still mad about the photo choice

Y/Nfanpage I love them sm

yourinstagram

I’m so glad to Annonce my 2nd studio album with 12 tracks “Bluemarine” Thank to all my producers, my friends Olivia and Conan, my family, to Taylor Swift for lifting me up in the being of my career, to Renee Rapp for featuring on a track and to Madison Beer for featuring on a track and the song writing help on two other songs and for being my biggest supporter through the making of this Album. Blue hearts for Bluemarine 🩵💙

conangray Bestie I swallowed a tear I didn’t except the mention 🩵💙

↳ Liked by yourinstagram

olivarodrigo OMG SO HAPPYY FOR YOUU 🩵💙

↳ Liked by yourinstagram

Taylorswift 🩵💙

↳ Liked by yourinstagram

reneerapp 🩵💙

↳ Liked by yourinstagram

Y/N’sbiggestfanpage AAAHH 😩😍😍, 🩵💙

Madisonbeer I had so much fun making those songs with you literally my favourite person 🩵💙

↳ yourinstagram I LOOVE YOUU

#madison beer #social media #social media au #Madison beer x reader #gracie abrams #singer #singer reader #singer!reader #wlw post #taylor swift #olivia rodrigo #renee rapp #conan grey