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hamphobicbasil · 3 years

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Could u elaborate about the dsmp story being bad? Not a rabid/brain dead fan, just genuinely curious and I enjoy reading people's rants lolol

oh you dont know the floodgates you just opened

a few things:

1. despite not liking the creators of the dsmp anymore, I don't actually hate most of them. [the ones that are particularly unsavory fall outside of this of course] so all that I'm saying i truly mean in a critical sense towards the story, its also just all purely my opinion as someone who enjoys fictional and fantasy stories and who like criticizing works to see what it does well and what it doesn't do well

2. for clarification I'm going to use the c![name] to indicate when I'm talking about the characters. Don't get me wrong, I think its annoying too but its the only way I'm gonna be able to write this thing without getting something across the wrong way yknow?

3. I stopped watching the streams after November 16th, [save for one Techno one but I closed out after a particularly bad story beat lol] and so all information coming afterward is all second hand from either me seeing people on twt talk abt it or people dming me. All i really know is up to dream's imprisonment and some stuff past that.

4. This is mostly aimed towards the "main" story, so stuff abt the badlands, eggpire, and whatnot are briefly mentioned.

anyways uh, i'll try to be brief but also include enough information to get why i feel the way i do on some stuff across

A. Performances Alright obviously these people are all streamers, so obviously they might not be the best actors, and hell no one is even asking that of them. However, when you're telling a story that's based on the audio with the visuals kinda coming to a second, it's gotta be pretty strong. I will say, some of the best actors in my opinion are Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. I would include Ranboo but I never watched any of his story bits or story streams so I can't say much. Wilbur and Tommy are excellent in selling their character's emotions and feelings, when I watch the stream I don't feel like I'm watching an rp but an actual thought-out story yknow? And one of my favorite Tubbo examples was in the Hog Hunt video whenever Techno attacked him, he sounded genuinely afraid and I believed everything his character was feeling.

However, unfortunately, not everyone is gonna be that good. And I'm gonna say it; Dream and Techno have to be the worst out of the entire cast. I understand Techno's whole character is this monotoned badass, however, when really emotional moments hit I feel like he never lets that fall, and a lot of intense moments just ring hollow. And I'm sorry but Dream's attempts at being intimidating leave me laughing whenever I watch them. It feels like he watched that one scene from The Marriage with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson and said "Oh this is what good acting looks like! Just yelling." His whole "I don't give a FUCK about Spirit!" speech isn't as great as people keep making it out to be. And whenever he tries to act coy when being a villain it feels like a guy reading the script for the first time, a bit like he's trying too hard. I have more problems with his character but his portrayal certainly doesn't help.

Everyone else is fine, and I don't feel strongly either way about a lot of them.

B. The "Lore" Okay first off, I can't be the only one who thinks it's silly that people are calling the dsmp's story "lore" when it's not, it's the fucking story. Lore indicates backstory to either the world or the characters, which a lot of the streams don't really pertain to. This is a really petty section but god it's a weird pet peeve of mine.

Other than the misusage of "lore" vs "story", the actual lore and world-building of the world are so lackluster that new elements can be introduced whenever and it often feels cluttered or not well thought out at all. And here's the thing, I feel like if the writers sat down just for a few minutes to establish world rules and general history, a lot of this could be solved! but so much is made up on the spot that it starts to feel like they're grabbing at straws to keep people invested, trying to reach that next high and intense story beat without actually earning it.

C. The Egg / Eggpire This is a pretty minor note since I was only invested in the Egg storyline for a little bit, but god it's so underused that it's almost embarrassing. Bad has provided this super interesting antagonistic force that's infecting the SMP, can control people, and who one of our main character is immune to, and it's just never used or even talked about again? Now I understand if he wanted to keep it to a side storyline only, however, to introduce this borderline eldritch creature and force within the world and then never have it dealt with is so weird.

D. The Writing Oh boy this is. kinda a big one. Now I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty obvious I have a bias for the Wilbur writing over the current team [that consisting of Dream, Quackity, and Tommy mostly]. I don't this his writing is perfect by any means, the characters constantly bringing up traitors got obnoxious after a while, and writing Hamilton but in Minecraft really isn't the modern Shakespeare or anything. However, I think his exploration of characters and plot progression was a lot more thought out and well planned, like he actually had two brain cells behind the story yknow? The current team I think fails to be as emotional or even impactful, things happened too fast and my god was everything drowned in angst for so long.

Don't get me wrong, you gotta have your characters face hardships to make them reach their goal believable, but some of the shit they put the characters through just felt like too much. From c!Tubbo's constant comparison to c!Schlatt [who btw, fucking ordered his death and kept him from his friends in a nation he felt trapped in] and on a side note, i kinda really fucking dislike the "c!Schlatt dad!!" au's or the au's where c!Tubbo inherits some of Schlatt's features, it would be like c!Tommy getting a c!Dream mask after his exile, it's feels so weird yet people eat that shit up for some reason.

But god, did c!Tommy get the brunt of it all and in retrospect after his final death, it kinda feels really fucking gross. Now obviously, I'm not trusting any of these people to write decent mental health representation, but c!Tommy's PTSD and how it was explored was just degrading. [Specifically the scene in that one Techno stream where he saw the final control room from the first war, and had a flashback / panic attack where he started calling out for c!Dream. I understand this is an actual thing people with PTSD will experience, but it felt so fucking stereotypical it got on my nerves. I actually had to close out of the stream because it made me feel sick, fiction shouldn't leave you feeling that way.] And don't get me started on how they basically reused the formula from the previous arc. [Problem introduced -> Tensions rise as things start to fall apart -> Big confrontation -> Exile -> Return from Exile -> Blowing up L'Manberg, again.]

And speaking of characters-

E. Character Arcs, or the lack of them In my genuine opinion, some of these characters' arcs are so disappointing. Especially c!Tommy's. I'm not one to believe that he was a "selfish" character or anything, however, his goals were simply set on his discs and maybe c!Tubbo, he didn't have much outside that. However, L'Manberg gave him something to care about, he gave up his discs for it and he fought for it tooth and nail, I think it taught him to open up to others and trust more. It was a great character arc for him to have, seeing him still fight even after his first exile alongside c!Wilbur, to return safely to the nation that he and his found family had built.

But then his second exile happened, and I feel like all of that was undone.

c!Tommy's exile genuinely pisses me off for so many reasons. It's not that characters can't have their low points after reaching a major change or feeling like they've "completed" their arcs or anything, but it's more of the fact that it seems like he's never going to heal that feels like a spit in the face, especially to people who might have had setbacks like that before. Progress isn't linear, sometimes things happen and you get knocked back down, it can take a while to get back up, but I don't think c!Tommy's character is ever going to be allowed to get back up. From c!Dream, who pretty much was a constant abuser in his life, killing him then reviving him, and his still fractured relationship with c!Tubbo, which by the way I have a had time believing they would still be friends after all that happened, it feels like he can never get a win and it's generally kinda a shit way to treat your characters who have been abused. Of course, not all abused characters are going to get happy endings, I'm not trying to dictate that they all should, but c!Tommy deserves one and the fact that it's so obscure feels shitty.

Side note: we still don't have a canon reason to give a shit abt the discs. Like I'm sorry but without some sorta connection to the MacGuffin why should we give a shit about him getting them other than "he wants them lol". Like hell, I would even accept the classic "they were the last gifts from his parents" or something, but we still don't have a reason.

c!Tubbo also lacks a fulfilling arc as well, from someone who started out as a yes man, he has progressed a bit into having his own interests first, but besides that sometimes his character makes me so. depressed. He's easily one of the most pushed around and hated characters within the story, all for being a kid who didn't know what to do and he's in the same vein as c!Tommy; these kids can't get a break. Also, his anti-violence beliefs morphing into the "lets kill c!Techno lol!" bit was so out of place and without proper build-up it was like. what. And now he's building nukes?? god c!Tubbo makes me so sad because he's kicked around constantly and never given a chance to grow.

Another small note, I also don't really enjoy c!Techno at all. Besides the previously stated reasons of lack of emotions when they're really needed, I find his character to be weirdly pretentious. He talks as if he's constantly been betrayed and hurt but I personally, don't see it? Like, I think one of the main examples was the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, yknow he wanted to end the government but they just reinstated it after they won = c!Techno upset. But this doesn't make sense to me because why did he think otherwise? The entire time c!Tommy had talked about taking back their nation and starting again, so the fact that c!Techno suddenly thought there would be a sudden change is, to put it bluntly, kinda fucking stupid. I don't want to say that he "plays the victim" or anything because that feels a bit harsh, but his character feels so far up his own ass that I can't enjoy him.

I have a major grip with c!Dream as well, but that's getting it's own fucking section.

F. L'Manberg This is a quick note before we get into the, forgive me for this, endgame, of this entire rant, since the next two sections are tied together. But god, L'Manberg makes me upset because it feels like they gave up on it.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is supposed to be c!Wilbur's "unfinished symphony", the thing that destroyed a once charismatic and widely loved man, his attempt at power that utterly ruined him. But the fact that it just got blown up in the end after everything and left to rot felt like such a waste of time. From the first war, to Pogtopia, to even c!Tommy's exile, it all felt fucking worthless in the end, and the story is actively closer to how it was when it started now more than ever. I wished it was actually allowed to exist and continue to be a peaceful place in what is a chaotic world, but no it was just snuffed out because why dedicate to this concept of finding others you can band together with and feel safe. fuck that noise apparently?

G. The Villains Now villain-wise, I'm only talking about c!Dream [during the first war], c!Schlatt, and c!Wilbur. And believe it or not, this is actually mostly positive.

Now I'm not gonna lie, c!Dream as a staring antagonist wasn't bad actually, he posed a genuine and threatening opposition to L'Manberg, even if we didn't know his real intentions or motivations as to why he was against it. He's lucky in this sense because he didn't have to be good, he had to be passable. If anything, he felt more like an anti-hero than a tyrant or traditional villain, and my god do I wish he kept this theme going forward.

Now quick disclaimer, I don't like JSchlatt as much as the next guy, he's an adult man who should know better than to joke about some sensitive topics and act the way that he does. But the one thing I'll ever give him is that damn, was he a good actor for his character.

Now here's the thing, c!Schlatt wasn't particularly deep at all. He had no real motivations behind his exile of c!Wilbur and c!Tommy other than getting competition out of the way, had no reason to act the way that he did and yknow? that's fine. The reason why he worked was from his performance alone, he was actually intimidating. When he came onto the stream and was doing his typical bad guy stuff, it was actually intense to see what he would do. Whenever he would almost catch c!Tommy back in Manberg, whenever he would begin to pressure c!Tubbo, it put you on the edge of your seat and it felt like everything would change at the drop of a pen. He's a villain to be a villain, and this works out because he's just charismatic and well put together enough to make it interesting, even without the backstory or motives.

c!Wilbur however, is much more tragic, and the best villain of the story. He essentially was the "mentor turned evil" trope and it felt terrible watching him descend into madness, unable to trust barely anyone except for c!Techno and c!Tommy. Hell, in the end I think he still cared about them both, despite losing everything. Sure, he blew up L'Manberg, but there was still a smidge of the old c!Wilbur in there made everything he did feel melancholic. His death at the hands of his father after achieving his final wish was chilling, and something I still think about.

Until yknow, Ghostbur came back way too soon to let people feel his loss as a character within that world. And then he got revived, pretty much-undoing everything that moment meant for his character lol.

And then there's the worst one:

H. Dream. I'm going to be completely honest, c!Dream is one of the main reasons why I dislike the current dsmp stuff so much. Outside of his actions as a person, the way Dream decided to write his character as this overpowered madman of the dsmp really just. destroyed any intrigue that he could've had. Perhaps this is from my growing dislike towards him, manifesting into a bias towards his character, but god I cannot fathom why people try to insist he's interesting when he has as much depth as a fucking puddle.

And here's the thing, I'm not even entirely against c!Dream being a villain, hell I think he would've been great as an anti-hero if anything. Make him sympathetic but not through c!George to get your precious "DNF" points or anything, but show him actually caring about the people within the dsmp, including c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. This would make his rival status with them just a bit more complicated, sure they're enemies, however, he doesn't want to hurt or kill them, and there's still a level of friendship there that keeps them bonded when things get super bad. This could've been super interesting to see, the first villain of the story receiving a sorta redemption arc then descending into madness as he started to fixate on being a god. This is all how I feel personally, but god do I feel like it would've been better than his current character, and hell would've worked with how he was during the Pogtopia arc, before the war that is. I'm not trying to tell Dream how to write his own character, but there are so many other ways he could've done the madman seeking to become god rather then. whatever the hell we got.

Because instead, we got this power-mad asshole who does things... because he can? And that's one of my major issues: he tries to surround his character in mystery to make him "intriguing" but it's kinda like c!Techno, it comes off as pretentious. Not only that, but you cannot keep waving around this mystery of a backstory without ever actually revealing it. I know the story isn't over, but c!Dream is effectively at his lowest point, now would be the time to reveal his backstory. But no just keep it in the dark and keep everyone guessing, that's totally fun and not at all tiring and annoying. (sarcasm, if anyone needs it)

And back to his performance, he doesn't sell this aloof, cynical and strategic warrior that has perfected the blade or some shit, he comes off as some angry guy yelling on reddit. which i don't need to tell you, isn't intimidating. It feels like he's trying to have c!Schlatt's intimidation combined with c!Wilbur's depth, but instead he's like a little brother who's trying to hard to mimic his older brother and is kinda embarrassing himself.

but other then that i dont feel too strongly abt the dsmp lol

but seriously, these are the main complaints I have abt the story tbh, I could probably talk about more but I wont because man. this is probably gonna get me in trouble if any of the hyper-dsmp fans actually read it.

#wow this is long #txt #anti dsmp #anti dream #dsmp crit #dsmp critical #yeah im tagging it i dont give a shit #dream crit #dream critical #the story is shit yo!

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mangop1e · 3 years

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my Thoughts about mcc14, because this is my blog and the official year of no cringe (in that i will no longer regard my interests as cringe and enjoy them wholeheartedly and post about them if i want)

overall !! it was a really fun event, i was watching blue bats punz pov and they popped off so it was a really good watch for me, the updates to the games were sick as hell and i cannot wait to see these get more refined as we go along plus see what they have in store for bingo and sands of time

putting everything else below the cut for the sake of all the mutuals i have on here that have never interacted with a mcyt in their life!

so. will preface this by saying i’ve watched every mcc live starting with mcc9 and am . just very very into this tournament, i’ll probably do a little analysis post next mcc because i just find it all very fun !! and tumblr is like a void i can scream into and sometimes it screams back so it’s the perfect place to let myself ramble. that being said, here’s my thoughts on this mcc from the blue bats punz pov, with vague knowledge of what happened in a few other povs

build mart: so sue me, i’m a build mart fan. the new map build is INCREDIBLE and i love the choice of elytras rather than the scuffed boats!! the new addition of the golden build is really fun too! not something that could necessarily be changed but build mart is definitely a killer for teams that don’t have good comms and coordination, and having it as a first game can really shake some teams and cause a drop in morale that could affect the rest of their performance in the event. overall, though? im loyal to build mart and i think it only got better with the updates

tgttosawaf: i love how pedantically long that acronym is <3 i think some of the changes really threw players into the deep end, that one round where they had to break the wool in the targets to get through especially, and terra swoop force Definitely threw some players that are otherwise cracked for a loop, especially if they were unfamiliar with the map, but this one was also super fun to watch!! definitely a good game for the first half of the event

sky battle: at long last, sky battle returns <3 as a shameless inniter sky battle is one of my favourite games simply because i Know tommy will always pop off, but it’s also such a fun twist on classic minigames like sky wars and a faster version of skyblockle done super well! i like the new map layout a ton as well, the little towers in the middle ring plus the structure of the innermost ring made for some really interesting plays all around. this game’s another one that can go south really fast if your team comms aren’t great, but definitely more forgiving than build battle, and a hell of a lot more adrenaline-inducing!! in terms of the updates i think this one was probably one of the best, tied with build mart.

survival games: survival games was CRAZY i do think this is one where you need to get good rng with your loot pickups as well as have good team coordination but it’s definitely a really fun pvp game!! only thing i will say is it can be a bit bland next to the rest of the crazy games in mcc but it’s definitely a classic and depending on how its played (cough red rabbits cough) can definitely turn things wayyyy around for a team!! very high stakes in a fun way

hole in the wall: god :sob: the glitch. ohhhh hbomb you and your glitchy ways. this glitch was definitely a new one compared to the usual “spam-space-bar-and-pray” glitch that our dearest tommyinnit has taken advantage of before, but i honestly can’t really blame him too much for using it? it did give aqua an advantage but it’s only slightly different from falsesymmetry using the spam-space glitch to win a few rounds of hitw in a more recent mcc (would have to double check which one, but i do remember hbomb taking note of this when he was reviewing mcc vods the day after). hole in the wall has been a glitchy bastard for as long as it’s been in mcc and it was truly hilarious to see hbomb clip through walls, so - all in all i think if the glitch could be fixed that’d be great but it was still a fun watch! also, pete zahutt is CRACKED.

ace race: whoo boy. ace race. honest opinion? i think the map is REALLY cool and has a lot of potential, but there was a lot of confusion and bugs that need to be fixed for next time - the fact that the players could reset back to a previous checkpoint, the general confusion over where to go which cld mean they need to add more directional arrows. overall i’m really really excited to see how people will perform on this map when they’re more familiar with it and some of the kinks have been worked out on the developer end. i do think scott had a Huge advantage here and it was really prominent due to the fact that this was a new map for everyone aside from him, albeit him seeing a much earlier version that wasn’t the same as the version that existed in the event, and it would definitely be wise of noxcrew and the developing team in the future to be more aware of how much involvement scott has in the gameplay side of testing. the general confusion and checkpoint resetting also did Not help anyone and i do think a few teams really lost out this event because of the issues with ace race, but this map has a ton of potential and im really excited to see what they do with it in the future.

battle box: oooo battle box !! this one didn’t really leave too big of an impression on me but the new map was definitely interesting!! the fact that the way to get to the middle was a bit unclear was ,, definitely interesting to watch :sob: but you can’t go wrong with battle box to be honest. solid team pvp game!

parkour tag: PARKOUR TAG!!! having this as the final game was so fun :] the map they had this time was complicated which definitely comes with its pros and cons: pros being that it creates potential for a lot of really interesting routes and unique usage of the area and environment, and cons being that it can feel really cluttered and overwhelming especially when its your first time playing. overall i liked the fact that it was busier but i think striking a better balance between full and barren could really elevate parkour tag from a good game to a great game

dodgebolt: blue bats </3 they had a fantastic run in the games and had an awful dodgebolt and sometimes that’s how it shakes down !! i always always love the unpredictability to the final winner that dodgebolt gives - the first place team pointswise isnt guaranteed a win, reverse sweeps have happened multiple times in the past, and dodgebolt is always nail-bitingly exciting to watch!

misc thoughts: i do think aqua had an advantage but from the sounds of things scott and noxcrew will be taking genuine criticism into account for next time and have learned from this event, i DONT think that removing parkour warrior was unfair because it wasn’t an event that noxcrew could ever successfully balance by making it hard enough to not have the same guy dominating every event and creating a gap, especially when played later, that no other players had HOPE of reducing and i think parkour tag was a really really fun alternative to it especially since runner and hunter play to diff strengths of the team members and it has a bit more strategy to it plus team comms than parkour warrior did, and i think build mart is a good game and i WILL die on this hill

if you read this far, fantastic, you madlad, i appreciate you

#minecraft championships #mcc #mc championship #blue bats #mcc14 #mcc 14 #look i just really really love mcc and have so many thoughts all the time #and i no longer care about being cringe #i like the minecraft tournament #and i will post about it if i want

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dirt-cup-draco · 4 years

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Platonic!Fred x Reader- Spark

Hey can u do a post war ,platonic angst list 45 24 an 17 w/ fred weasley ?

Fred sighed deeply after another long but fulfilling day spreading whatever joy he could with George there to be the positive one when he couldn’t quite manage it. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy, for Merlin’s sake he should be dead! He was thanking the gods every second of the day, yet he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing.

“You missed a spot,” George poked fun as Fred drifted into his own mind. Fred rolled his eyes but his grip tightened on his cane as he leaned against one of the shelves, using the rag attached to the bottom of his cane to wipe at the window where some kid had put their sugary fingers all over.

George watched Fred as he slouched, cleaning halfheartedly. “What’s been going on with you lately? It’s like you’re not really here...” George’s voice was soft and loving and Fred was grateful for his twin’s strength and compassion every day.

Fred shook his head, shrugging his shoulders as he hobbled to his brother. His leg ached more than usual today and it had put him in a sour mood. “Just been thinkin’ about when we were in school...”

“Good times,” George smiled fondly, a glint in his eye that had never left. It was hard to find that same spark in Fred these days.

Fred hoped that he had placated his brother’s worries and he was certain he had, as he had made it halfway up the stairs before George surprised him. “Is it Y/N?”

Fred’s cane rattled out of his hand and clanged against the swirling stairs. Cussing he gripped the rail, trying to move his trick knee so that he could begin his descent but George jogged easily to the steps and grabbed his twin’s cane, bringing it up to him. With a flick of his wand, that was more for show than necessity, the doors locked and the lights went out as they finished ascending the last few steps into their shared apartment.

“I take your silence as a yes...?” George asked cheekily as Fred sank into the nearest recliner with a huff.

“No,” Fred said but George raised his eyebrows in a look that told him: I know better you git, tell me the truth. “Fine, maybe. Yes. I don’t know! She keeps sending letters...”

“And you haven’t answered any of them,” George pointed out, making his way to their cluttered dinner table, lifting a stack of letters that got larger everyday. Guilt coursed through his veins.

“I just-”

“Can’t deal with how you broke her heart?”

“Seriously, George?” Fred had to ask as his brother drove in the point. He was right though. It’d been months since he’d last seen you and you had tried reaching out every day after.

“I love you Freddie, but she’s been everything to us, to you, and you broke her heart...”

“Why do I have to be the one to make things better?” Fred scowled. “Dont act like you can’t reach out either,”

George’s eyes lit up with an untold secret and a sly smile worked it’s way onto his face. “I have, actually,” He admitted with pride. “We get tea, you know the place, every other week,”

Fred’s eyebrows scrunched together in the center of his forehead as he thought of George sitting across from you with tea in your hands. Did you still blow on the tea before every sip in the hopes you wouldn’t burn your tongue? Did you still trace the patterns on the teacups because you found them pretty? Did you still try to give mock lessons about the grounds in the bottom of your cup like you did after you’d grown tired of Trelawney’s classes?

“H-how is she?” He asked, sitting up in his chair as it groaned beneath him.

“You’d know if you checked her letters,” George pointed out, tossing one of the neatly addressed envelopes into his brother’s lap. “She asks about you a lot, but she also tries to hear it from you. It breaks her heart that you’re shutting her out like this...”

“She’s better off-”

“Without you?” George scoffed. “Being a fool is a part of you and me but I didn’t think you were daft Freddie,”

Fred frowned that same frown that seemed to take up more time on his face than his smiles did and it hurt George to see how his injury and PTSD from the war had changed him. Fred was still a child at heart and George knew it but he had aged incredibly fast in the past few months. It had been two years since the war but something had happened and it was like a switch went off.

“We were doing so well,” George explained, kneeling before his brother, hands gripping the arm rests. “All three of us... What happened that ended all of that? What happened to you?” George begged softly with Fred. His brother’s pain was his, yet it seemed Fred was determined to shut him out.

Fred stared at the wacky pattern of his neat slacks, not knowing what to say. What could he say? He was worried about your safety because one night you’d woken him from a nightmare and he’d thought you were a death eater? That he’d held his wand to your throat and it had taken him crucial minutes to realize that it was you? That he’d left you crying in your bed while he laid on the couch unable to sleep? That the very next day he’d broken up with you, forced you out of the apartment?

“Right after you were injured... and the months following- Y/N she never gave up on you. Even when you wouldn’t wake up, even when mom started to lose hope. Even when they wondered whether it’d be better to take your leg. Y/N knew what she was signing up for and she stayed Fred. She never gave up on you. So why did you give up on her?”

“I’m going to bed,” Fred decided. The questions were too much and the guilt was much worse. When George called his name in exasperation, he shut the door a little louder than he normally would.

George found you sitting in your spot, already sipping at your tea. When you found him coming your way you gave him a grin and waved him over, pointing to the drink you’d already ordered for him.

“In a rush?” George asked, lowering himself into the booth seat across from you. You shrugged, a gentle flush coloring your cheeks. “I have some...news. Thought it might be nice if we could get right to it without being interrupted,”

George’s brow wrinkled and he fixed you with a long stare. “Everything okay?” His stomach was immediately in knots. He didn’t like surprises, hadn’t in ages. He loved surprising others but he didn’t respond very well to them himself. His mind kicked into overdrive when he wasn’t aware of something and his anxiety got the best of him.

You reached forward, hand finding his as you gave him a reassuring smile. “Yes Georgie everything is fine. Everything is better than fine actually.” You grinned and it was the most radiant George had seen you since you and Freddie had ended things. “I’ve found someone,”

George didn’t mean to choke on his tea, but how else was he supposed to react to such news? He hadn’t even known you’d been dating! “Wow!” He settled on, still trying to gather his bearings. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t hoped you and Fred would fix things. “I’m happy for you,”

And you knew he was. George was one of your best friends, and you wanted him to know that you were doing well. You’d only hesitate because you didn’t want him thinking he wasn’t happy with him, or Fred. You loved them both dearly, even if the latter refused to speak with you. “He’s so great,” You gushed.

“When do I get to meet the guy? I think he needs the Weasley stamp of approval first,” George pretended to look stern and tough but he couldn’t quite manage it. You smiled and he did too. George liked seeing you happy, no matter who it was with.

You wrinkled your nose. “I don’t want to scare him off so meeting him might have to wait a while...”

George scoffed playfully. “You’re embarrassed of lil ol’ me?” His mind twirled about for a moment longer and he felt more subdued when he asked, “Are you going to tell Fred?”

“I-I... Well I don’t know,” You answered honestly, biting your thumbnail as a server came over and offer a refill which you gladly accepted. “Do you think he’d even care? The guy, he’s a muggle and well, I just don’t know when is a good time to introduce him to anyone, let alone my two- my only best friend,” You sighed, feeling glum.

Could you consider Fred your friend? You had no ill feelings towards him, you understood the war had changed him in a way you couldn’t understand. Your relationship had been a casualty of the last battle and you had come to terms with it. That didn’t mean you had come to terms with losing him completely. You wanted to be close to him like how you and George were.

“Y/N, he cares,” George squeezed your hand, understanding where your mind was wondering. Suddenly he perked up. Why hadn’t he thought of this before?” “Come ‘round for dinner this Sunday, yeah? I’ll talk to him,”

George could sense your hesitation, and you were very hesitant, but you knew that you’d have to see him. You wanted to see him for Merlin’s sake! You just thought he’d have answered one of your letters by now.

“Alright,” You tried to smile. “Sunday then,” The things you did for George.

“Y/N’s in a relationship,” Was the first thing George announced upon coming home and Fred didn’t think he’d heard his twin right.

“With who?” Fred asked, sitting up straighter in his seat. “I mean that’s great! But still, who?”

George shrugged, tossing his jacket over the back of the recliner Fred was seated in. Fred swatted it away onto the ground. “Don’t know. Some muggle guy, I guess,”

Fred thought for a long second. Would you be happy with a muggle? You adored magic and the magical world, would a non magical partner be the best for you? He supposed if the muggle took it well then it didn’t matter... “Is she happy?” Fred asked, standing on quaking legs as George busied himself with tidying the kitchen.

George paused in his busy work and looked to his brother, a smile playing at his lips. “Yeah Freddie, happier than I’ve seen since- y’ know,” It hurt, but not as much as Fred thought it would. It was good to know you were happy. Fred cared a great deal about you but he had laid awake for endless nights wondering what would become of you two if he looked at your letters and replied. Maybe you two would have gotten back together if he’d done it months ago but now he didn’t know. Now, he wasn’t sure what he wanted from you. For starters, he wanted to see you.

“She’s coming for dinner Sunday night,” George suddenly declared.

“What?!” Fred stumbled over his feet for a moment, taken off guard. Yes he wanted to see you, but that didn’t mean he was ready to!

“It’s been forever!” George whined. “I want my two best friends back. I don’t care if you’re dating or not... I just want you to be friends again,”

Fred pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh. “Alright, Sunday is fine,” The things he did for his brother.

You stood in the shop with sweating palms while George finished up the grunt work before locking the doors. He’d sent Fred up earlier to check on dinner and so you would be a bit more comfortable upon arriving.

“You can go up if you want,” George commented as he tossed the last few sickles from the register into the safe for the night.

“That’s alright,” you deflected, looking around the joke shop that you hadn’t been in since Fred had broken up with you. It was bittersweet being back. There were a lot of good memories and a few not so great ones. If you could go back... You weren’t sure you’d change anything. You loved Fred, that was true, but somewhere along the line you’d realized that you two had done your time and you simply weren’t meant to be. That didn’t make it any easier being here, however.

“I’ve finished up, do you want me to go up first?” George asked, wrapping his arm around your shoulder so he could rub your arm.

“That’d be great,” You smiled as George took the lead. You ran your hand up the railing as you went, relaxing at the familiarity of it.

When you got upstairs you were met by a sight that had you gnawing on your lip in an effort to keep your laughter bottled up. Fred was surrounded by a few pots, which were all boiling quite violently, and a steady stream of smoke was beginning to rise from the stove. The windows were open but it did nothing to mask the smell of burnt food.

“I leave you alone for ten minutes-” George began, rushing to Fred’s side.

“That was your first mistake!” The frustrated boy interrupted and you rolled your eyes as you tried to fight your smile. You shooed them to the side and turned off all the burners, opened the stove and turned it off. You removed everything from the heat and tossed them into the sink, the water from the faucet sizzling and popping against the extremely hot pots and pans.

When all was said and done you stared at Fred with an amused grin. “How have you been managing without me?”

“A mystery to us all,” George lamented. “Guess that means we’re getting take out?”

Fred admired your constant calm, it was what had drawn him to you in the first place. He was always going, always laughing, always doing something. You, on the other hand were happy to just relax and take in the moment. You looked before you leapt and Fred needed someone like that in his life. You’d always been the reminder to slow down and he appreciated that as he watched you take care of his kitchen blunder.

“Alright?” George asked, nodding to Fred as you all gathered at the table to eat the food he’d ordered. Fred found it hard to answer with your eyes on him. Especially when they drifted to the pile of letters that had been cleared off the table and now remained on their coffee table.

“Y-yeah, thanks,” He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “So! Y/N, how’s the new boy toy?”

“Fred-” George began but Fred held his hands up in surrender.

“I’m just curious! Really, I just want to know how you’re doing,” Fred looked you in the eye for the first time that night and you seemed suspicious of him for a minute before you seemed to realize he was being genuine. Your shoulders drooped in relief.

“I’m doing well and Marcus is really great,” You smiled softly, thinking of your boyfriend. “He’s been a nice reminder that there is magic in the world- even for muggles.”

George fake gagged and you smacked his arm, your smile not fading in the slightest.

“And you? How have you been doing?” You asked. There were a million things you wanted to ask Fred but this seemed to be the safest option.

George felt relieved when the two of you spoke politely. There was an underlying tension, from unanswered questions and a past that Fred had run away from, but other than that dinner was smooth sailing and he was glad that his idea hadn’t ended up in ruins even if it had started off rocky with the burned dinner.

“This has been lovely,” He announced, setting his napkin on his plate as he stood, walking to your chair so he could press a kiss to your cheek. “But I am exhausted, have a good night Y/N,”

Fred looked panicked but George sent him a pointed glare. Talk to her!

“Goodnight Georgie,” You gulped and watched as your mediator vanished to his bedroom.

Fred took a steadying breath. “Want a drink?”

“Did you mean to forget me?” You asked after three strong drinks and Fred shoved himself deeper into the recliner. You were sitting quite stiffly on the couch, a throw pillow in your lap. You fiddled with the tassles for a second before taking another swallow of your drink.

“I never forgot-” Fred started.

“You never wrote me,” You interrupted. “Are you afraid to lose me?”

Fred narrowed his eyes and you blew a piece of your hair out of your eyes. He seemed to be reprimanding you for interrupting him. You thought you had the right to ask questions, he had been avoiding you for months after all. “I figured I’d already done a pretty good job of losing you after I’d kicked you out... George didn’t talk to me for a week after that. Then you started sending letters and I just felt so damn guilty I couldn’t bring myself to read them, still havent’,”

“Clearly,” You remarked, topping off your glass and then his.

“Y/N,” Fred sighed. “What do you want me to say?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know... I don’t mean to seem bitter. I really am happy right now, I just still have a lot of hurt from how things ended between us I guess,”

“I admit that I probably handled it the worst way possible,” Fred conceded. “All I could think about was how scared you looked and how I didn’t want you to ever feel fear like that again. I’ve been seeing someone to help me work through all the damage the war did and it helps but George wakes me from nightmares still and I haven’t stopped lashing out. I care about you a lot, that hasn’t changed, but I think the way I care about you has- if that makes sense,”

Fred was rambling a bit, but you understood what he was saying and where it was all coming from. You had been scared shitless that night, no matter how many times you’d reassured him it was you he hadn’t seemed to understand that until George had been woken from his sleep and calmed his brother enough that he could come back to reality. It hadn’t been a deal breaker, but Fred had made it clear you weren’t going to be coming back.

“It does... I feel the same.” You agreed, running your fingertip along the rim of your glass as you avoided looking at Fred. “I was mad at you, did you know that? Not because what happened, but because it didn’t seem to matter all we’d been through- you just kicked me out and didn’t speak to me again... I wouldn’t be here right now if George hadn’t done something,”

“That isn’t-”

“True? Fred please, I know you better than you want me to. I know you arent thrilled, I’m not either... But I am glad this is happening. We need to talk about this. George is right about wanting his friends back because I want my friend back too,”

Fred lit up a little bit. “You want to be friends? Do you think we could? Can you still love me?"

You stood and Fred followed. You grabbed the hand that wasn’t gripping his cane and squeezed affectionately. “I don’t know,” You answered honestly. “But I do still love you, even if that love has changed. You’re an idiot Fred but you’re my kind of idiot and I’d like for us to be friends again”

He smiled a smile that reminded you of when you two had been in school, running around and getting into trouble with hands linked together and hearts beating in unison. It was a smile that gave you hope that you two could be friends again and that the past would simply stay put.

“I’d like that too,” Fred pulled you into a hug and you could feel him leaning against you as he let himself relax for the first time all night.

The spark between you was gone, no fireworks to be had when you brushed your hands together or made eye contact. Despite that, there was still a glowing ember in the fire of your friendship and as you two embraced and healed old wounds it grew brighter, igniting once again.

It was good to have your friend back.

Tag List: @angelinathebook @thehumanistsdiary @cleopatera

Requester (is that a word?): @slytherinlovesgryffindor

#fred x reader #platonic!fred x reader #fred weasley x reader #platonic!fred weasley x reader #fluff #ask #request #post war fred #will #always #have #a #cane #thank you #ive made up my mind

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years

Text

and then there was light [4] {Roger Taylor}

A/N: 5060 words. part 4? part 4. it’s a bit of a darker one and before you ask, there will be a part 5, you know i wouldn’t end it on a cliffhanger and do you dirty like that.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

The moment Roger steps foot into the meeting about the design of the shows for the upcoming American legs of the ‘Night at the Opera’ world tour, he’s pretty sure he’s already mentally checked out. Freddie’s doing all the talking, to literally no-one’s surprise; the man has big ambitions for his own costumes, and knows the other guys will pipe up about their own needs when they get to meet with just the costume designer. John Reid brings up the technical requirements, Roger’s got the ‘galileo’s from Bohemian Rhapsody playing on repeat in his head as he stares into the middle distance, and it’s Deaky who sits forward.

“We’ve got a pretty solid idea for the lights; Freddie and I have been consulting with a designer in America; she’s freelance, used to work for EMI, she’s reliable.” He assures, and Roger’s thinking ‘hey that sounds familiar’ but Reid seems satisfied and they’re already moving on to the staging and sound equipment needed.

Roger doesn’t connect the dots at first; it’s been almost four years since that fateful American tour, and they’ve had other tours come and go since, and as far as the others are concerned, they’re pretty sure he hasn’t spared you a thought since arriving home at the end of that tour. But he does, even if he doesn’t mean to.

The tour after you’d quit working for EMI, someone drops a parcan side of stage, and his heart is in his throat when he realises he was waiting to hear you yell ‘okay that one wasn’t my fault’ or something similar. All he hears is a faint apology, and a call from someone to get a broom. The scheduling’s different this time around, he can’t even have a cigarette in an empty theatre without some stagehand buzzing back and forth, or a band member trotting across the stage as they practice. It would be so much easier to lay on the stage if the rest of them were confined to one place while they played, like he was behind the drums. It’d be boring as shit, he would be the first to acknowledge that, but it would mean he would get stepped on less during lunch, and that’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make with the toe of Freddie’s shoe poking at his waist.

Nothing serious had come his way in that time, or rather, he’d never found anyone who could hold his attention for more than a week or two. People became dreadfully boring when all they wanted to do was faun over him and fuck him; not that it wasn’t fun at first, it was always fun at first, but there was a lack of variety, a sinking sensation that these people were more attracted to the idea of him that left a sour aftertaste.

But now he’s here, new company, new album, second leg of the new tour, new chance to sample all different women across this great nation. He’s already a little tipsy from his multiple jack and coke’s on the plane when they land, and he’s passed out on the tour bus before it even gets to the first tour stop. Once in Conneticut, he’s dragged from the bus, and informed that as soon as the tech crew had finished their meeting, they could start loading in their instruments.

“How long have they been here?” Brian asks the stage hand, and the guy shrugs.

“A couple of hours; the Floor Tech wanted the drum risers set up before she gave the brief.” He tells them as he lead the band in to the theatre, where most of the crew were milling about on stage.

“She always did have a flare for the dramatic.” John says with a grin where his eyes were trained on the stage, and Freddie hums in agreement, which only serves to confuse Roger further until he sees an all too familiar figure climbing the drum risers with a clipboard in hand.

“Alright guys, can I have your attention, please?” Even after all these years, the sound of your voice hits Roger square in the chest. “I wanna make this as quick and painless as possible, so after today we can bump in and bump out without any hassles.” You addressed the crowd with an easy confidence from your place at the top of the drum risers, tapping your nails against the back of the clipboard in your hands, wearing the overalls he’d seen you in so many times before.

“You can call me Spotlight; I’m the Head Floor Tech for the tour, as well as lighting designer; those of you on my lighting team, you’ve got a copy of the lighting plan, and I’ll be talking to you about how we’re gonna run it after this. Next time, I’ll get some help from the stage hands to set up the drum risers, I had a few people help me today to get them set up early, but that’s just because I like being tall.” With a sharp grin you pause as a titter of laughter spreads around the group, “stage management team, you’re in charge of making sure side of stage is set up with anything the band needs, and that it’s clear of unnecessary clutter and people, and running cabling for the sound guys; they’ll tell you what they need.”

After a beat, you look around the gathered crowd, and nod firmly, a gesture which a few of them return.

“If you have any questions, remember; find your Light.” You point directly at yourself. “We break for lunch at one, but until then we’ve got a lot to get through; let’s get rockin’.” Grinning brightly, you hop down from the risers into the crowd of crew members, ushering a bunch, each holding a sheet of paper, off to the side, as the others scattered like cockroaches under light.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” Roger finally finds his voice where he’s still standing, a little dumbstruck, alone in the aisle of the theatre where the others had left him behind.

“Didn’t you hear her speech? Spotlight’s our lighting designer.” Freddie calls over his shoulder, eyes wide and innocent, as if he hadn’t set this all up without thinking to mention it to Roger.

“Our what now?” He splutters, jogging a little to catch up to the other band members as they made their way towards the stage. He’s not quite sure what he’s doing, or what will happen when he gets their; the last thing you’d said to him was that you were stupid to think he was above his reputation, while you were in tears, and then it had been three years of nothing. He’s not going to run, at least he’s pretty sure he’s not; he’s self aware enough to know he was in the wrong last time you spoke, that he was an asshole, but he’s not going to be a coward. Not again.

“That was quite the speech.” John waits patiently until the crew who made up the lighting team had dispersed before addressing the familiar face at the centre. You turn, eyes bright and smile brighter, casually making your way towards him and the rest of the band.

“Yeah, I really feel in my element, you know?” It’s with an easy familiarity that you pull John into a hug, giving him a firm squeeze. “Good to finally see you again.” And then you’re hugging Freddie, and then Brian, and you stop short in front of Roger. It’s a stalemate, neither one wanting to be the first to look away, but both unsure of what to do. In the end, you don’t even offer him a handshake, just nod, and you turn back to the others.

“How’s Pippin been?” Freddie asks, and you’re about to answer, but Roger cuts in.

“Hang on, can someone fill me in here? Lovely to see you, by the way, just a little confused as to how you got here.” He says, and you’re lost for words, just blinking rapidly, trying to process the whole situation.

“Did you not tell him I was working with you guys?” Your words come out incredulous as you turn your gaze upon John and Freddie, who seem just as bewildered as you.

“I thought he’d cotton on when I mentioned an American designer who used to work for EMI.” John mused, turning his gaze on Roger, who frowned, thinking back to the initial meeting he’d just mentioned.

“I did,” Brian piped up, before casting a smile at John and Freddie that was just a little bit confused, “though I wasn’t a part of this little setup.” He tried to reassure the drummer.

“In my defense,” Roger started, before his gaze dropped, “I wasn’t paying attention, design isn’t exactly my forte.” He admitted, and you had to shake your head at that, exasperated and already a exhausted.

“Pippin’s good.” You go back to John’s initial question. Pippin isn’t so much a person as it is a touring version of a Broadway musical that had opened a year ago, to great success.

It turns out a written letter of recommendation from both the lead singer, and bass player of Queen goes rather far in the industry. After taking some time for yourself, you call up EMI to beg them not to fire you, however it turns out you needn’t have; both John and Freddie had given glowing reports of your work ethic and skill, and the man on the other end of the line is just eager to know when you were next available.

The moment you’re on site next, they tell you you’ve been promoted to Floor Tech; they hand you a roll of gaff tape and a drill and a whole new set of responsibilities, heaped onto your usual load. You don’t even remember who had been performing, the tour had only lasted a month, all you know is that they were calling you Spotlight from the moment you’d arrived; apparently it was what Freddie had called you, and John had to clarify.

John is the first to contact you again, through EMI of course, and he becomes something of a comfort when you consider taking your career beyond the company that kept you firmly in the one position on tour. Freddie calls you less often, and never about business; it’s John who gives you the courage to leave EMI, and he’s the one who helps set up as a freelance theatre and event crew member.

People had been head hunting you from tour to tour, beyond even EMI, some smaller acts even giving you the full Lighting Designer role. They expect you to sit back, let a stage hand or an assistant to take care of it, but every time you watch someone else focus a spot, your fingers itch to be doing it yourself. Dedicated to a fault, Roger had once called you, you think about it every time you climb an unsteady ladder, and think perhaps that he’s right.

The moment Pippin announces it’s tour, and puts out calls for crew, you’re first in line for the job, putting your hat in the ring for lighting, but happy enough to take any crew role. Not that you don’t love working with bands, but there’s a certain finesse that comes with theatre lighting that you can’t get anywhere else in the world. After two years, and the support of both John and Freddie, you find yourself as the assistant Lighting Designer, as well as Head Floor Tech, and once you step foot onto the tour bus, everything else becomes history.

Speaking of history, later in the day, after the rest of the crew have broken for lunch, you’re wedged under the drum risers, running some cables, when you hear someone climb up them, taking a seat at the drums.

“If you play one beat-” You’re cut off by Roger’s yell of surprise, as he’s so startled he almost falls off his chair.

“Holy shit, who is that?” He’s breathing heavily, voice panicked, and for a moment you take pleasure imagining clutching his hand to his chest like a delicate, little grandmother.

“Take a wild stab in the dark,” you mutter, unwedging yourself from beneath the structure, raising an eyebrow as you look at him. Almost immediately he’s frowning, and you’re thrown back to the moment almost three years ago where you’d been here before, looking up at him from behind the drum risers after you’d changed out the light mid-show. Clearing your throat loudly, you break the moment, getting to your feet and making your way to the side of the stage.

“What are you doing here?” He calls, watching idly as you go about counting out fly lines until you get to the one you’d been looking for. You’d gotten here early to go through the fly-line procedure with the Duty Tech for the venue, and now you lowered the LX bar it was attached to with ease after making sure there was no-one in the way. Your focus made something in his chest tighten, and he feels like he’s being taken back in time; you’re beautiful when you work, passionate and skilled, meticulous, that hadn’t changed. Roger has to look away.

“My job,” and you just sound tired when you say it, already securing the meticulously placed lights onto the bar you’d just lowered, going along and fixing them to the metal in a neat line. An uncomfortable silence spreads between you, punctuated only by the scrape of metal against metal, and the rattle of the safety chains.

“What are you doing here?” You don’t even try to hide the snippiness from your voice, not even turning to look at his as the accusatory words hang in the air.

“I’m having a smoke in what I thought was going to be relative peace, it’s something I do, okay?” Voice defensive, you hear the rustle of cardboard and hear the click of a cigarette, your annoyance growing with each passing moment.

“No, it’s what I do. It’s what I did three years ago, you just started showing up. You stole my relative peace.” You snapped, turning to him, a blazing fury in your eyes at his words, before your lip curled in disgust, “And you don’t even do anything with it.” You scoffed, and he went quiet, sulking behind his drum kit. Sensing he wasn’t got to talk back you turn back to your work.

The moment you turn away, he sees the way you heave a sigh, angry tension draining from your shoulders, a little hunched as you concentrated. Your hands shake a little as you fiddle with the safety chains. There’s still that confidence there, the ease with which you moved about the stage, but unlike around other people, when it was just Roger - though he suspected you were pretending he wasn’t there - you just looked... weary.

After that first town, he keeps his distance for a few stops, though the other band members look to keep you company on occasion. But then... he’s there again. Quiet this time, he just watches where you hold yourself like royalty at the top of a rickety ladder, so sure of yourself. He’d forgotten the sight of you in your element, and it hits him like a truck.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You snap when you chance a glance down and see his awestruck expression looking up at you. The shock comes when he actually looks abashed, averting his gaze, picking up his drumsticks and tapping out a rhythm that you’re pretty sure you recognise.

You’re both too stubborn to give the other one the peace of the theatre at lunch, however, while you’re content with stewing in silence as you worked, Roger, to no-one’s surprise, is not.

“How’ve you been?” He brings himself to ask. You stop where you’re replacing a gel on one of the drum riser lights, taking a long moment to consider your words carefully.

“Busy.” Tired. The subtext comes through loud and clear, despite your short answer, and once you’d finished with the light, you stand, before taking a moment to stretch your back out from behind hunched over.

“Working a lot?” I can tell. He answers after a long pause, almost sympathetic, and you know he’s not really responding to the words you’d said out loud.

“Yeah, non stop.” No subtext, just responding at face value, before your eyes up to the mostly finished rig. Afternoons were for last minute fixes and focusing, there wasn’t much left you could do, unless you were willing to ask for Roger’s help.

“When did your last thing end?” He asks, and you click your tongue as you turn on your heel, burned out gel in your hand, heading for a bin.

“Two days before this one.” You admitted. When you’re met with silence, you turn, and Roger’s frowning at you, almost disbelieving.

“You’re not still sleeping on the tour bus, are you?” He asks, and you roll your eyes before you tell him your accommodation is paid for this time around. You’re the first to leave, for the first time since everything had started, you leave halfway through to actually eat lunch, leaving Roger to himself.

When he’s drunk after the show, leaning against some local pub, with a girl leaning against him, heavy enough that the two of them would have tipped over if it wasn’t for the counter, he can’t get you out of his mind.

“I didn’t ruin her career.” His eyes go wide as the words, with something akin to revelation, escape him, and the girl makes a noise of confusion, her fingers ghosting over his chest, but he can’t even bring himself to enjoy it.

“I didn’t ruin her career!” He announces, excited and pleased in his inebriated state, sitting himself so forcefully on the arm of Freddie’s chair that he spills part of his drink. Freddie makes a noise of confusion, looking up at the blonde, and Roger gesticulates enough to spill more of his drink, ignoring Freddie’s yelp. “Spotlight! She said I’d ruined her career!”

“When?” Freddie asks, just as John pops out from seemingly nowhere.

“Well you certainly didn’t help it. That was me.” Roger doesn’t care that John’s drunk, the way bassist says it, so serene and matter-of-fact, makes it sting just a little bit worse. His mood instantly flips.

“Can you piss off? Go be her best friend somewhere else.” Roger snapped, and he knew he’d regret being so sharp with John the following morning, but it seemed John himself knew that Roger was in a mood, and obligingly fucked off, seemingly not taking it to heart. “When we broke up, she accused me of ruining her career.” And he realises too late, when Freddie’s eyes go wide with realisation, that he’s said too much.

“Is this where you tell me exactly what went down between you two?” He asked, tapping Roger’s leg with excitement. The blonde, however, stood abruptly, glower on his face.

“No. Fuck off.”

Roger spends almost fifteen minutes banging on the door of the tour bus before he remembers that you’re not in there, and falls into bed alone, fully clothed.

“The fuck did you say to Freddie last night?” The moment he steps foot onto the stage at lunch, you’re waiting for him, already livid. He’s tempted to turn and walk right back out the door. “Apparently he doesn’t know the real reason that I went home last ti- !”

“Of course he doesn’t!” Roger snapped back, on the defensive without a moment’s hesitation. “It makes me look like a fucking wanker and he’d kick my ass; he adores you!” And that was enough to shock you into silence, grip loosening on the gaff tape in your hands. “They all do.” He said, and your expression turns unreadable.

“I know.” You finally said, a new, strange quality to your voice, it’s something akin to shock, but not quite, and Roger doesn’t know what to say next. “What about you?” You finally ask, voice a little defensive. It hurts to see you look at him with such a judgemental eye, though he’s well aware he deserves it.

“Doesn’t matter, does it? I could apologise a thousand times and you’d still be pissy.” He huffs, and you cross your arms, cocking your hip.

“At least once would be nice.” You level a cold glare at him and his gaze snaps back at yours, surprised. “You never once apologised, you know that?” And your voice is low, hurt and honest. “Are you even sorry for what happened?”

“It was three years ago-” He sighs, but you cut him off, shifting your weight to your other foot, swallowing thickly.

“So that’s a no. Glad to see where you stand.” And you turn to cross the stage to where you’ve already got the ladder set up, but he makes his way to you in three long strides, making to grab at your upper arm. The moment he does, however, you whirl around, slapping him, hard. “I told you to never fucking touch me; did you think I forgot?” And he sees why you were so eager to leave; there’s tears in your eyes, so close to breaking and streaming down your cheeks, your lip trembling. Something about your voice is so raw, it hurts worse than the slap.

“I am sorry.” And he sounds so fucking sincere, but you just glare at him, unashamed where the tears have begun to track down your cheeks.

“You had your chance to say sorry; you had your chance to beg for forgiveness, but you told me I could leave; so I did, and so did your fucking opportunity.” But you can’t bring yourself to step back, frozen in place where he’s less than a foot away. Every fibre of your being is betraying you, wanting to be around him, close to him, after what he did.

“I’m sorry what happened between us;” his voice is so level, carefully controlled, you know he’s think hard about what he’s about to admit, “I fucked up, I know that; I’m sorry. It was three years ago but I’m still sorry. I’ve been sorry for a long time now.”

“Since it happened?” You asked, and he didn’t drop your gaze, answering without flinching or hesitation.

“Since I started worrying I’d lose you; I know what I’m like, I knew what I’d end up doing.” He admitted, and the words clearly didn’t have his intended impact as you stumble back, free hand clutching your chest.

“And yet you still-” And quietly, so quietly you’re not even sure he hears it, the words come out as more of a defeated whimper than anything else; “How could you not tell I was in love with you?”

He’s in shock, and you barge past him, leaving as you can no longer contain your aching heart, and you head to the hotel you were staying at down the road, taking the rest of the lunch break to cry.

When you return, the rest of the crew has filtered in, Roger looks guilty, and Freddie and John look about ready to commit violent homicide, which was unsurprising for Freddie, but there was something comforting about Deaky wearing the expression too. In less than a week, the whole crew knows, and wherever you go, you feel yourself followed by pitying stares, which won’t go away, no matter how hard you throw yourself into your work.

“You’re working yourself into the ground.” Roger tells you a week later, watching the way your arms tremble as you focus a light, and it takes you a moment to blink blearily at him. “Don’t forget the security chain.” He adds, and you scowl, before looking at the light itself, and hurriedly affix the security chain to the rig. You insist that you’re fine, making your way down the ladder to scoop up another parcan, but you almost immediately drop it.

“I just need some food.” You try to insist, your hands shaking as you leave the light where it is.

You don’t come out after shows, and it’s not gone unnoticed. The rest of the crew think you’re just dedicated, personable for the most part but prone to bouts of standoffishness.

“Oh you should have seen her on our first tour,” Freddie muses to an enraptured crowd at an afterparty, a few crew members listening with a bright-eyed attention, “that woman risked life and limb for our show.” And he sounds so proud when he says it, but something twists uncomfortably in Roger’s gut.

Cracks don’t show around other people, Roger’s noticed; you’re smile’s bright enough and your voice is loud enough that they don’t see the way your hands shake. Or how tired your eyes are. But then there are moments, you stand as if in the eye of the storm, gaff tape and drill in hand, watching as people follow your instructions without question, and you look up to see Roger tweaking his drums, and the two of you share a look. It’s a little indecipherable, he’s concerned and you’re just... tired. He wants to offer to help, but as soon as the moment arrives, it’s passed, and you’re off to the next task.

The air between the two of you has lost it’s angry tension; after saying your peace, after hearing his apology, there’s no fight left. Just a lingering disappointment, a quiet like the moment after a world-weary sigh. You don’t have to pretend around Roger, you both know he’d see through it if you’d tried.

“You should come get a drink after; you look like you need it.” Roger laughs, but there’s no humour in it. Without missing a beat, you decline, you don’t even bother coming up with an excuse.

“I’m worried about you.” The tour is almost three weeks in, and you’re asleep against the proscenium arch when he walks in. You wake with a start at the sound of his voice, reaching out for the light you’d been fiddling with before you’d passed out. When you look to him with confusion, he repeats himself slowly. “I’m worried about you; are you sleeping okay?”

“As if that’s any of your business.” You snapped back, and Roger kept quiet. It only takes him a day to figure out that sleep isn’t really a luxury you allowed yourself; you were the last out every night after bump out, sometimes staying until two in the morning, and from what the crew said, you were always the first up, running through check lists, accident reports, and going over anything that needed maintenance.

When Freddie asks you to come out with them after a gig, you find it difficult to say no, he helped get you this job after all, but you’re there for barely half an hour before Roger sees you slip out the side door, drink untouched.

John asks if you’re okay one afternoon when you drop a stack of gel frames without warning, jumping almost a foot in the air and looking like you’re about to break into tears from shock, but seems content when you explain you’re just tired. Tired doesn’t even begin to cover how overworked you are.

The night you finally decide to relax a little, bump out having been miraculously fast, you’ve got the next day off. The others cheer you on as you down drink after drink, the alcohol hitting you hard and quickly, and the world gets blurry as you find yourself on the dance floor. It’s easy to drink too much, because for the first time in a long time, you’re relaxed, not worrying about the pretty, dickhead blonde who worries about you when he really shouldn’t.

You’re drunk enough to admit to yourself that part of you likes the attention he’s giving you, it feels like vindication for the heartache you went through all those years ago. Part of it’s not even vindictive, part of you just likes the way he looks at you, the way his smile made your heart beat just a little faster; you call that part a fucking traitor and have another drink.

You don’t remember leaving the bar, but you come back to your body when you’re leaning against a streetlight for support, halfway through telling someone to fuck off.

“Ya’ not my caretaker, Roger,” you sneer, “you don’t need to look after me or whatever this is. Go help groupies home or to hotel or whatever.” You spit, and push off from the light, turning on your heel, almost topple over, and right yourself.

“Light, that’s the wrong way.” He calls, exasperated, and you turn again, this time actually crashing to the ground and grazing your hand on the way, before you get to your feet. He’s come over to try and help you, but you swat him away.

“You don’t get to call me that.” You stalk ahead of him in the direction he had come from, back toward the hotel, and he follows only a few steps behind.

“Fine, Y/N; you’re legless, let me help.” And after a moment of intense eye contact, in which you try to weigh up your options, you begrudgingly loop your arm through his.

“You’re still on my shit-list.” You inform him, and he hums in acknowledgement. “Why are you doing this?” You follow it up with.

“I’m not the asshole who fucked you over three years ago, and I’m not gonna let you get yourself killed for this show.” He said through gritted teeth, and you just smiled, a little dreamily.

“But what a way to go.” And he came to an abrupt stop. It took you a moment to realise, and looking back, you tugged on his arm to keep him moving. He just frowned at you, a little concerned. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it.”

“If I have to fire you to get you to take a break-” He threatened, and you scoffed, expression turning bitter.

“I’ll drop a light on you.”

“You’ll drop a light on me by accident before then anyways!” He crowed, and your expression fell, contemplative. “Just let me help; what do I have to do to make you actually rest? What do I have to do to prove myself?”

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may #and then there was light #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #the angry lizard writes

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pixelburied · 4 years

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excuse the cropped weirdly pictures; my family/pet's foster parents are great at snapping a sneaky picture of me curled into an unattractively slouched (relaxed) fetal state. which i'm self-conscious about because it's an unattractive position for pictures even tho i am quite pretty (but they are also cropped because im just also private as hell, sorry lmao).

bonus tho: said pet is laying ontop of me, face buried in my shoulder, twitching in her sleep as we speak!

--- but anyway. onto the actual submission:

so yeah. i saw your post! i'm here to address your call for dogs. but i dont have anymore pictures of my dog, Cash. however, i do have stuff about my cat, Allegra.

i dont have any of them together cuz Cash lives at my family's house and Allegra lives in my apartment. and we're p sure he'd try to eat her and she'd scratch the hell out of him, so we don't try to let them meet. but, just like how Cash continued the legacy of us adopting another big slobbery dog with possessive seperation-anxiety, Allegra does fit all the criteria of those same personality traits we are such a beacon for. so i hope youll accept it as comfort nonetheless

here's a story about my cat who acts just like a anxious, cuddly, and slobbery pupper. i even bought her a pet ID tag that's shaped like a bone to honor that joke lmao) Allegra: "the honorary and tiniest mastiff" and named after the allergy medication

i got Allegra just this last year. she was a stray. now, for context: there are lots of outdoor cats in my neighborhood and they all hate strangers (they aren't feral tho, they have collars). but they all avoided my old house though because of Cash. so Allegra, newly abandoned, took advantage of that safety(?) by constantly hiding out around my family's house whenever she felt endangered

before that point tho, where i vaguely realized she existed but had no idea of what her strategy had been: i knew the cats of the neighborhood would run 15 miles away at the sound of people. but i am a small bean of cliches, so i always say "Hi kitty" anyway. even if them running away breaks my heart. and on that day, i was on my way to work for the opening shift, not early per se but i had enough time for starbucks if i wanted (and i did want) and i saw the vague mass of a cat on the lawn. predictably, i went "Hey kitty". but i also kept walking to my car due to said expectation of cats running and not wanting my heart to have that little break

and allegra did run. she just ran at me, full speed. i almost kicked this sudden HURLING THING in my peripherals like a football out of fight/flight + anxiety, except i have the aim of Charlie Brown so i thankfully missed her terribly. she was purring up a storm and crying pathetically. tho she's a Siamese, so they talk (read: complain) a lot anyway so maybe she wasn't crying. i always call her talking "crying" anyway tho cuz of the whiny pitch of it so such is a moot point. the real point was: she was ridiculously friendly

then, one morning, she was especially incorrigible. she wouldn't let me go into the car without her jumping inside too and kept scenting me, my car door, and all my equipment for this art class i was going to use for my presentation. a presentation that was a huge chunk of my grade that i couldn't be late for and Allegra was going to make late for. i had to trick her into thinking i was going to run away from my car, to which she zoomed ahead to cut me off, except i had actually done a fake-out and had really ran into the driver's seat and was already starting to slowly reverse out of the driveway. she had the sense to not go after a moving vehicle, thank god. my family texted me she cried outside our front door for hours later though. my art class that semester met once a week, so it was a 4.5 hour class that started at 7AM. and even tho that day had been a presentation day and we had less than 15 students, we still went over 3 hours. she cried during all of it. i used the "free time" to make sure i bought a cat leash and a cardboard cat carrier. but when i came back, heard no crying

i tried to get one of my neighbors to hold onto her for the afternoon. i couldnt leave her in my old house; i had family members i lived with who were terribly allergic. but i swore, so long as someone held onto her for my shift, i could take her to a shelter after. she was just so friendly and obviously new here, i just needed someone to put her somewhere safe (we lived by the freeway, by a train, by the main alternative to the freeway, and by two dog parks). but nobody really could hold onto her, so i had to hope she'd show up again when i came back from work. she didn't. i left her food out anyway.

i took her to the Humane Society Shelter closest to us because they have a microchip scanner. and she did have a chip! that was completely empty! apparently, that's a thing!! the guy there asked if i was going to keep her then, and i hadn't really thought that far. i had made the mistake of naming her and thinking she was cute, and she had done the legwork of being a cuddly motherfucker who purred constantly whenever i was around

she'd only ever appear in the early morning, when i was on my way to my shift or a midterm. about a week or two passed like this with me having no idea where she was for the rest of the day. turns out, according to said allergic family members, Allegra actually never left the house. she would hide on our roof or on our back porch's clutter or in our droopy lawn plants (like our sweetgrass) to hide from the outdoor cats or other dangers (she's a smart cat who hates the sound of cars and would hide whenever any one was particularly loud)

i'm pretty sure she's plenty well-cared for tho. in fact, i'm almost positive she's a very spoiled cat. for example, i have backups of everything x2. i have one of everything in my living area and a copy in my bedroom, should i need to close her in there when allergic family members are over (i also carry all the big allergy medication brands as a back-up in case i get a visitor who forgot to take their medication, which includes me being stocked with allegra the medication lmao) and then i also have a back-up of all her stuff in my closet should anything break. i always make sure all my windows are open when i leave for class/shifts so she can have "Cat TV" since birds do fly around the area. she has a ton of toys (she has a toy box actually) and i bought her multiple hideaways (like her shark pictured here; she also has a cactus that's pretty cute). also, ontop of having a good breakway collar, her microchip now reads my information. but yeah, im still working on the money to get her one more of everything for the house we visit for the holidays so i don't have to carry everything. i do a lot of research still-- on both cats and Siamese-- to make sure i am doing everything to make her happy, since her world is just me and our apartment now

i called out for her-- i had long since started calling her Allegra as a joke, because its a name of a popular allergy medication and so much of my family was allergic-- and shrugged sadly when she didn't come out. i had just put my stuff down to get my key out when i heard a familar crybaby. turns out, she had been sleeping in our sweetgrass and i had woken her up. she ran over and i called my family to take my things inside while i used the rest of my day to get her to a shelter. i put on a cat harness+leash before trying to out her in the cardboard box. don't buy cardboard boxes from Pet Co. they're shit. she broke out of it Alien style before i had even fully reversed out of the driveway. i had to improvise her leash into a seatbelt instead

but yeah. i say my favorite gremlin is dog-like because:

she has an overbite, so she looks like she's got her lip jutted out in a pout all the time. what's dog-like about it is this makes her slobber whenever she's excited or content (and i've grown up with mastiffs, who slobber so much you need 2 rags per room dedicated to their slobber)

hesitatingly, i called my only family member that was semi-local to see if he would be okay with fostering her until i was going to move (which was less than 6 months away) because, otherwise, i wasn't going to be able to keep her. and she was definitely going to be adopted immediately. he and his wife said of course, without hesitation. they were both huge cat lovers and they were, emotionally, my closest family members; so i had kept them in the loop about my cat quest. and they had already discussed potentially fostering Allegra, knowing my request was a possibility (read: probability). he drove over from his workplace to pick her up, with his own carrier, and drove the roughly 2 hours from our house back to his

she meows when people are at the door and greets them by begging for pets

she loves shoes. she steals my tennis shoes because she loves the laces and she will try to swat at them when im tying them. her claw getting stuck and forcing me to not continue has worked to make me late multiple times. but she also will lay down around my friends' feet and rub her face against their shoes, flipflops, and toes. one of my friends likes to joke that allegra has a foot fetish. she also can and will put her face into my tennis shoes and try to sleep like that. that's my bastard baby

i visited their house about once a week. except during finals, where i didn't visit for two or three weeks since i didnt have any exams so much as i had projects. (allegra was PISSED at me when i came back, my cuddly kitty refused to come near me and would run away when forcibly placed on my lap. she even swiped at me. by the next visit, she was grumpy but happier. by the one after that, everything was back to normal) i really liked visiting those family members too; it made us even closer. though it still annoys the male how much research i do about cat-care (as opposed to just accepting everything everyone tells me as gospel). i researched even down to "how to best pet a cat". i did this since, due to said allergic family members, i had never owned a cat and therefore didnt osmosisly process how to best care for one. i've also never been fully fauthful of people's advice that's based on "This is how we've/the media always done it". my history with mastiffs showed that not all breeds are the same and that you do have experts to utilize within your phone, and they are experts over peers for a reason. so i looked up dumbass questions like "how to best pet a cat" since i'm not an expert and Jackson Galaxy and friends are right there in my phone

she wants to play constantly. she loves tug of war the most, but anything involving chase has her going at full-speed

ive spoken to fellow cat-owners and mastiff-owners about this, and i thought this was interesting: when she isn't playing, she's sleeping. which is what mastiffs and cats do. and when i get up, she follows me. which is what our mastiffs do. and while i do stuff, she sits and waits by the doorway or else walks around my feet until i tell her to sit out of the way. which is what our mastiffs do. and then i go to sit down again, and she lays down as close as she can and goes back to sleep, which is what our mastiffs do. apparently, none of my friends cats do this; their cats just, at best, wake up to watch them leave and then their cats go back to sleep in the same place regardless of if they come back

Allegra likes to sleep at the foot of my bed for bedtime, at least for a majority of it

but, regardless if my worries, allegra seems happy! she cuddles with her claws out all the time (not sticking into my skin, just out) which is a sign of contentment. she'll also use her claws to keep me in place, like a fucking seatbelt (example pictured in post); it's where her claws will dig into the furniture and i cannot get up because of her, the possessive piece of shit. but she also gives me tons of Slow Blinks of I Love You. and she always runs to greet me at the door. and it's really funny how, anytime there's guests over, she tries to make it obvious that she's my favorite over (usually through politely tapping my leg with her paw to ask and recieve pets, and then giving everyone a very Cat Surrounded By Knives grin cuz i havent petted any of THEEEMMM lmao) she's hilarious

she doesn't like to be carried unless it means she's going with me somewhere outside the house. then she's as well-behaved as a chihuahua in a purse

she licks my hands all the time. and she licks my face to wake me up (at 4AM, Allegra, go aWAY)

she loves smelly clothes. the shoe part should tell you that much tho. for our mastiffs, we would leave them a smelly piece of clothing between washes to comfort via smell. Allegra, in a similar vein, was not impressed when i bought a laundry basket with a lid (almost carrying her to the communal laundry room once was enough, thank you!)

in the same vein as the clothes: she also loves blankets too. the more Me Smelling the blanket, the better (aka she doesn't like brand new blankets until its been like. month two or three of use). this is largely because i love blankets. but she kneads them, purring, even if im not using them. and when i am, she takes my using them as an invitation for cuddles

she sits whenever i tell her "NO" like 'who me? i was not doing a bad. i am but small creature'

she asks for a daily walk. she doesn't like the idea of being an outdoor cat. she just wants walks. like, she has lived several months not going outside and has been super happy. she made it clear on her adoption day that she was done with outside. she was perfectly content with being an indoor cat! still is, in a way! i ruined it. for myself. me. i was worried she wasn't being stimulated enough, so i experimented taking her on a walk and now i have created a monster. now she sits by the door and cries until i get out her harness and leash. which she hates her harness in a "no ball, only throw" kinda way. but she has also proven hates going outside alone since she is now ALSO scared of everything (remember those outdoor cats Allegra The Stray would hide from? how they would run away from strangers?? yeah. now that she has a Person, Allegra's turned into one of Them now). yeah.. she runs the fuck away (or as far as she can with a leash) from people she sees on her walks now. and it is pretty obvious she hates cars and dogs too, because when i have walked her outside of our new complex she is too petrified to move. like, she freezes even when just being close to a street. she likes our complex's janky carpeted hallways between the apartments, and she likes the ability to hide behind my legs. being an outdoor cat is something Allegra has decided she is not a fan of. if i try to change things up scenery-wise, she always asks to go home as soon as possible and runs into the apartment if our walks turn too much into what her life was before being adopted (aka. streets/cars, lawns, people walking). she wants walks. she LOVES and BEGS for walks. but not be outside. walks. even though she still hates her harness lmao

and that's Allegra! she's aproximately 2 years old, i've had her for less than a year, and she's assumedly a purebred Siamese cat. and she's also my ESA, or Emotional Support Animal. if applicable, a cuddly and loving pet is helpful for keeping mental health more stable. in my experience of getting one, it was fairly easy to get it permitted; especially a cat because they're super easy to get registered as compared to a dog. i am lucky enough to have regular physician as my doctor that empathizes with mental health and knows it not to be her area of expertise so much as the patient+their therapist (but also i have a history of attempted treatment on my medical record since i was 16), so my getting registered was literally just me asking for a doctor's note and her giving it to me near immediately. i can't take Allegra with me to classes or resteraunts or anything, nor do i even want to, but it forces apartments/hotels to HAVE to let me board with my ESA and to do so without an additional fee. however, i don't know if that's how ESAs work internationally or even in all of the states of America, the country where i live. but it definitely helps to have someone who needs me to get up everyday, who can never trigger me, who makes me laugh with their hijinks, and who cuddles with me regardless of if i have had a good day or bad day. Allegra is especially good at her job by being especially attentive whenever i am anxious. even if it's just me getting a little bit anxious because i'm late in turning an assignment in but have logically decided it doesn't matter because the assignment is only 2 points anyway, just turn it in late and don't focus on it; and she starts patting my leg almost continuously asking for pets inbetween rubbing herself on my legs. it's why i let her get away with never paying rent. i'm really glad she chose me. we both got really lucky with that decision ♡

i don't want to assume your situation, so i won't recommend an ESA for you so much as just remind you that they exist. i hope this all helps you feel supported and encouraged to continue to find the small wonders ♡♡♡

#I REALLY DO LOVE THIS #AND ALLEGRA #10/10 would die for her #Thank you for taking the time to send this in!#I really really am happy #i had like a real bad mental health day/week/year idk #so this makes me so grateful!#long post #not choices #shwarmi #cats #kitty #submission

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softjeon · 5 years

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Speed Lane | Pt. 14

• Pairing: Yoongi x Jimin • Genre: Angst | Racer!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 7,9k | Co-Writer: Cat @cassiavioletblue • Disclaimer: mentioning of alcohol / drugs / violence / smut / abuse / graphic content

↳ There he was. In midst of his workplace, standing straight, sunglasses on his face, nose a bit too high, with an attitude as if he owned that place. The rage was welling all the way up inside of him, so quickly that the wrench cluttered from his hand. The boy turned around at the sound and they stared at each other, just like they did in the night of the race.

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The rain slowed to a light drizzle, but the wind continued to howl around him. He was freezing, wrapping his arms tight around himself to keep warm. Jimin had no home anymore and no matter what he tried, there was nowhere he could go. Jimin wasn’t sure where he was going, all he knew was that he couldn’t stop. He needed to find something where he could sleep.

His credit card got declined right away and he had barely ten bucks in his pocket. All his tries to get a hotel had failed and he couldn’t call a friend, because his father had taken his phone away. There was nothing, so Jimin had to get used to the idea of spending the night outside. With the bag around his shoulder, Jimin walked along, stumbling through the alleys of the city. When it was getting colder, he quickly hid in a corner and looked through the bag, searching for something that he could wear and kept him warm a little more. Getting out a sweater, he pulled it over his head quickly, before he went along. Not long after Jimin luckily found a little kiosk, where he bought himself a coffee to keep himself warm and some little snacks. He hadn’t eaten all day and the headache was killing him. Jimin felt absolutely horrible. His limbs were hurting with every step, the bruises starting to hurt, since the painkiller he took this morning lost its effect and he had none with him. Leaning against a wall, Jimin took a shuddering breath, trying to keep himself from crying but it was no use. He sank down onto the cold asphalt, holding on to the bag as he cried. Desperately. Yearning for someone to get him out of this mess.

Jimin knew Yoongi wouldn’t want to see him again and even if his parents might take him in again if he showed that he had learned, he was sure Yoongi wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him. Rubbing his palms over his eyes, he looked up at the night sky, wondering if Yoongi was hurting just as much as him, or if it had been easy for him to cast Jimin out like that. He was scared about how much his heart was aching at the thought of Yoongi falling in love with someone else, because if Jimin was sure of one thing, then it was that he would never stop loving Yoongi. He had given him so much, something that Jimin had never thought he needed before. Someone where he could truly be himself, but in the end even that wasn’t enough. Jimin wiped over his eyes and got up to walk ahead. He couldn’t stop. He needed to find something…

Yoongi had tried to finish his work but had failed spectacularly. From a reasonable point of view, he thought that he had done the right thing, because if he hadn't acted harshly then maybe Jimin would have done it again. And he wouldn't risk losing Jimin to a car crash. Now they at least had a chance to get back together, if Jimin thought about his actions and told him the truth, if he told him why he had taken those drugs they could work it out and make sure that it never happened again or... He sighed deeply. All reason aside his heart was aching horribly, and he couldn't stop thinking about Jimin. If he had really done the right thing. If Jimin would really think about his actions or do the opposite and go for another adrenalin hunt. What if he had pushed Jimin further into it? What if instead of making Jimin safer he had actually put him at more risk? He needed to do something. He needed to find out what had really happened. And as he couldn't trust Jimin on that issue because the boy might be lying to not get himself into trouble, he needed someone else. Of course his friends had told him that the ambulance had been there and how they had transported the car. But if he asked deeper, searched for details then he might be able to put the puzzle pieces together. He left his tools right where they were, not able to wait a second longer, going right over to Tae’s. He’d ask each of them for everything they remembered, one by one.

But it wasn’t Tae who opened the door for him. Jungkook peeked through the gap, opening the door wide as soon as he saw who it was. “He’s not here,” The younger answered Yoongi’s questions about where Taehyung was right away. He let Yoongi come in nonetheless, though he couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. Jungkook had heard the fight and they had decided to get out of Yoongi’s way quick and just call it a day. Taehyung going wherever he was right now (Jungkook wasn’t sure, since he was acting a lot quieter around him), while he went straight home to their shared apartment.

Yoongi frowned, not sure if he should rather call him or wait for his return. But maybe he could ask Kookie instead. It probably wasn't the smartest idea to base his decisions on Jungkooks words alone considering how intoxicated he had been on the last few parties, but he could definitely add to the picture.

“Do you want something to drink? A beer, maybe?” Jungkook said with a sweet smile, trying to make Yoongi feel at ease. “Just sit down and if you need to talk…,” He almost whispered the last words, “You know…I’m just as good as Tae.”

He nodded, normally not the type to drink unless he went out with friends but tonight, Yoongi really craved something that would take the edge off his feelings a little. He awkwardly stood in the hallway, lost in his mind until Jungkook came back with two beers and nodded towards the living room. “You coming? Or do you want to stand there all night? After everything that happened to you it’s not like you need to add to that and make yourself uncomfortable on purpose...” Jungkook took a sip from his beer, waiting for Yoongi to talk. He didn’t want to pressure him, instead he wanted the older to feel safe and comfortable in his presence. Even if he still had guilty conscience about the drugging incident, Jungkook told himself that Jimin had only minor bruises and nothing worse had happened. And apparently…if he had heard right today at the workshop, Yoongi was single again. Jungkook bit his lip to not show the little smile. Maybe it was time for Yoongi to see, who truly was always there for him in the end. Who truly loved him, and he could trust in.

Yoongi took a sip of his drink as well. Normally he didn't mind silence but as he was here for a reason, he could only handle it for a moment before delving in right away. “Look, actually I meant to ask Tae about the night when Jimin had that accident. I’d like to know if something happened that would explain it. Like... was there a fight? Something that pressured him? Where did he get the drugs from? It just doesn't add up. So, I wondered if you were there and if you could tell me if you noticed anything.”

Jungkook looked at Yoongi with wide eyes, before he quickly gathered himself again, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “Hm, let me think,” Jungkook took another sip from his drink, shifting a little closer to Yoongi without him even noticing, “I just remember how he met up with Tae and we drank a little. I can’t tell you how much he had, though... but it probably has been a few beers. Then Taehyung went off to say ‘hi’ to some friends and I was with Jimin for a little while.” A weak smile appeared on Jungkook’s lips, while he was playing his part perfectly, “But I didn’t stay for too long with him…so I’m sorry. He probably found some old friends of his. I don’t know, Yoongi. I’m sorry, really but I knew he was trouble.” Looking at Yoongi with a sad look, he reached out for the older, caressing reassuringly over his arm. “I’m really sorry.”

Yoongi nodded, lips pressed into a thin line. “Yeah. He... he must have met some of his old friends and things just escalated from there.” He got quiet when Jungkook reached out for him. Had he really been so stupid to fall for Jimin although Jimin was just looking for a temporary fix of his need for excitement? He had looked so broken on the beach, asking him to not break his heart and now... now it had been the other way round. Jungkook did have a point when he had said that in the end Jimin would be the reason Yoongi was hurting. He sighed deeply, trying to lift the weight off his chest but in vain. “Dont be. It's not your fault. I... I should have listened to you, I guess. You were the only one who knew how it would play out.”

“I really wish I wasn’t right,” Jungkook said quietly, “You’ll never know. I’m not saying he didn’t love you. I’m sure he did, but…some people just are toxic and only need a little push in the wrong direction.” The younger sighed deeply, biting his lip in thought before he gazed up at Yoongi again. “But I guess, it’s also time to say sorry myself,” Jungkook smiled weakly, hoping that if he turned the topic around to him a little more, Yoongi could see why he had done all the things for him, “I didn’t want to work you up further and make you all worried about me. It just…you didn’t listen to me. Nobody did. I felt alone.”

Listening to the younger Yoongi felt even more guilty. Jungkook was right, he had distanced himself from him and even told the others to just let him be and let him work out things on his own when Jungkook got too angry. It must have been hard to care and worry for him and instead be dismissed as jealous or aggressive. No wonder Jungkook had started to get agitated and prone to distraction. Maybe that’s why he had gone too Yunyeong. Because the elder had a tight group of friends around him at all times. Jungkook must have felt so abandoned...

“I’m so sorry Jungkook. I know I treated you badly, but I only realized now to what extent. I... I’ll try to make it up to you, okay? Treat you for lamb skewers if you want, just you and me, like old times?”

Jungkook couldn’t hide the happy smile and nodded eagerly, “Like the old times.” He felt so relieved that Yoongi finally saw what really happened. That Jimin wasn’t good for him and that how it was before, was just perfect. Nothing needed to be changed. No rich kids from the upper east side. Only them. Their races. Just the six of them. Jungkook jumped up to get them another beer, opening it for Yoongi with a smile that was so big it scrunched up his nose cutely. “You know it won’t be cheap then though, right?” Jungkook gave the beer to Yoongi, now sitting even closer than before. “I will definitely savor our lamb skewer date then and eat until I can’t eat anymore,” He said with a playful tone.

“Don’t worry, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you forgive me.” Yoongi accepted the second beer, only now noticing with surprise that his first one was empty. He felt better now, the sharp aches inside of him softening a bit, memories of Jimin’s desperate look being overlapped by Jungkook’s happy face. He didn't want to forget Jimin, and there was no way he would but for now it felt good to get a little distraction.

“Sounds very promising for me,” Jungkook definitely was flirting by now. Subtle, but still flirting. He cheered with his beer, watching Yoongi how he drank half of it in almost one go. He really must feel desperate. “Do you maybe want to start tonight?” Jungkook spoke fast, “I mean…ehm… with making it up to me. I just wanted to make myself some food and we could maybe… cook together?” He bit his lip a bit shyly, motioning over to the kitchen and for Yoongi to follow him.

Yoongi laughed, the first time in quite a while. It felt freeing. “Sure. But I have to tell you that I see through you.” At Jungkook's surprised face he continued with a wink “You just want someone to make you food because you’re too lazy to do it yourself and would rather do the eating part than the cooking. Don’t worry, I gotcha. I know how that feels. But as Jin’s not around I fear we have to do it ourselves.” He pushed the sleeves up his arms to not get dirty and grabbed the pan that was lying around. “So, what were you planning on making?” He took a look at the ingredients and cocked his head. “Some kind of bell pepper with oil and ...more vegetables?”

“Just some rice and vegetables,” Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, “What? It’s late and I was hungry, so I need something fast and easy.” The younger smiled happily though, when Yoongi went ahead and started cutting some vegetables. He quickly got himself a knife, too, helping Yoongi as much as he could. Jungkook was stirring the rice, as he watched the older prepare the vegetables letting Yoongi tell him all about how to do it correctly, while Jungkook was pretending that he didn’t know anything.

“Here,” Yoongi motioned for Jungkook to take over and when he reached out for the spatula, his hand brushed Yoongi’s just slightly, making a blush appear on Jungkook’s cheek. Yoongi stayed close to him, watching over his shoulder and when Jungkook turned his head, his lips were only a few inches away from Yoongi’s. He didn’t dare to stay like that though. It only was a fleeting movement, before he concentrated back on the food.

Yoongi was too immersed in the cooking to notice Jungkook’s infatuation with him just like he had failed to notice it all the times before. He was just enjoying their time together, initiating a little more skin ship than usual because he was so used to being around Jimin who was the clingiest boyfriend ever and had been able to wake a longing for closeness in Yoongi that he had never felt before. So, when he touched Jungkook’s arm a bit more often than normal or brushed his nape in a comforting gesture when the younger asked him for instructions then it wasn’t to mislead Jungkook on purpose but simply a habit that he had integrated into his everyday life.

But Jungkook didn’t know.

He enjoyed every caress, every little skin ship that Yoongi was showing. It was getting late when they finally finished the food. It was perfect for Jungkook. Everything tonight just was. It was so long from when he last had spent time with Yoongi, that he was soaking in every bit of attention he got now. Sipping on their third beer, Jungkook looked at the watch, “Oh… I don’t think you should be going home anymore, Yoongi. You can stay here, if you want? You slept over so many times before. We really don’t mind and as it seems, Tae will stay out.” He pointed at Yoongi’s beer, “And you shouldn’t drive anymore, even if three beer seems like nothing. I don’t want you to get hurt.” He looked up at the older with a sad look, hoping he was able to lure him in a little more.

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, you know I can handle it I won’t...,” Yoongi broke off, body tensing for a second. He almost said “crash”. And now he was flooded with thoughts about Jimin again, as if he hadn’t been able to relax a little bit in between. Jungkook was probably right and it was better to stay, not because of the beer but because of his own mind. If he would go home and spend the night alone the thoughts would surely eat him up and he wouldn't be able to sleep for one second. So better not risk it and stay here.

“Thank, Kook, I appreciate it. Could you lend me a shirt maybe?” This one still had spots on it from repairing the engine and although he didn't mind that in the workshop he definitely didn't want to sleep in it tonight. Jungkook nodded eagerly, “Of course I can.” He jumped from his seat, walking over to where his room was, not even waiting for Yoongi. Jungkook was just so happy that Yoongi was trusting him more again, that the older wanted to spend time with him. Even if Yoongi would just take Taehyung’s bed or the couch, he wouldn’t mind. It wouldn’t take long for Jungkook to make Yoongi sleep in his bed again. Looking through his closet, Jungkook was searching for the right shirt that would fit Yoongi and wouldn’t be too loose or too tight for him. “Do you rather want a white or a…” Jungkook stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Yoongi right next to him. He gulped heavily.

Yoongi squinted his eyes at all the white shirts in Jungkook’s closet, smirking and then tapping his chin in thoughts. “It really is a difficult decision to make, do I take snow white or paper white - or cotton white?” He pointed at a shirt that looked a bit smaller and wouldn't look like a dress on him. "I think I chose eggshell white."

Yoongi was so close to Jungkook, he could smell his familiar scent and the younger had to fight the urge not to lean in but Yoongi’s teasing, made him look at him with a raised eyebrow. “Says the one with only grey and black shirts,” Jungkook teased him right back, before he turned to get out one of the shirts from the top shelf. When Jungkook wanted to give the shirt to Yoongi though, he froze in his movements completely, his eyes fixated on Yoongi’s sudden naked chest.

Still so close. Too close.

Jungkook’s heart was beating wildly. His mind going crazy with possibilities. Should he dare? Should he wait? Taking a step closer to Yoongi, he looked at the older who had just put his shirt aside and was showing off a sweet smile towards him. Oh, how in love Jungkook was. Desperately. He needed him. His fingertips touched Yoongi’s skin every so lightly. “Here…your shirt,” Jungkook’s voice was barely a whisper, when his eyes flickered down to Yoongi’s lips, leaning in slowly.

At first Yoongi froze in shock, grabbing Jungkook's arms on instinct. He was about to push the younger away when Jungkook leaned further into him, his lean, warm body pressing against Yoongi‘s. It felt so nice to have someone close like this and... he missed Jimin so much! Jungkook kissed how Yoongi felt; desperate and vulnerable. So, despite knowing better he kissed Jungkook back. It seemed like the younger had just waited for this because as soon as he felt Yoongi reciprocating he melted into him, opening his mouth softly to let Yoongi in. Jungkook's mouth was heavenly, warm and soft, his lips pressing with just the right amount of force against his to feel his desire. He pulled Jungkook closer by the waist, needing to feel more of him, of this perfect body. Which he knew well enough considering that he has had it beneath him before. He wasn‘t exactly proud of that memory, as it had been a drunk fuck and nothing more but what he remembered of it was amazing. Jungkook had definitely known how to use his obvious charms, just as he did right now.

The younger smiled against Yoongi’s lips, knowing exactly how to drive him wild and make him addicted to the kiss. Carefully and sensually, Jungkook let his hands caress over Yoongi’s chest until he could wrap his arms around Yoongi’s neck, wanting to feel even closer. He pulled back, feeling a little out of a breath when he gazed back into Yoongi’s eyes. The older’s arms still holding onto his waist and Jungkook couldn’t help but smile and lean in again. He just needed more. Even though he wasn’t sure how far Yoongi would go, this was already enough to soothe Jungkook’s heart a little. Yoongi was back in his arms, kissing him until he was out of breath.

It was way too tempting to lose himself in the way Jungkook was kissing him to listen to the small little voice of reason who told him that this was a bad idea. Sure, he and Jimin were on a break right now so it wasn't exactly cheating and ... and... The soft little moan Jungkook made was all it took to lure him in completely. He was weak to that kind of sound. And Jungkook had such a beautiful voice. He remembered all too well how sensual and mind blowingly good the younger was in bed… and he was old enough to know the difference between love and just sex. So what difference would it make to just forget everything that was bothering him for some feelgood time and a little fun. So, when he realized Jungkook was leading him towards the bed he didn’t stop him.

It was easy for him to turn a little, getting up on the bed behind him and pulling Yoongi over him when he was kissing Yoongi absolutely senseless. Yoongi placed his arms left and right of Jungkooks head to balance out his weight although he knew the younger could take it. He liked that about Jungkook a lot, his physicality, the ability to confront things that seemed beyond his limits and win nonetheless. He was just what he needed right now, something strong and solid. Someone to lean onto. His hand slipped under Jungkook’s shirt as he teasingly traced his muscles, smirking into the kiss as he felt them clench under his touch. Jungkook couldn’t believe this was happening right now, feeling like he was on cloud nine, absolutely overwhelmed from the sensations. Yoongi’s touch felt so familiar, so achingly soft on his skin, making him shiver underneath the older. He let Yoongi kiss down his neck easily, moaning softly, holding him tight to him. Jungkook never wanted to let go of Yoongi again. He could feel Yoongi’s hands under his shirt, right before he yanked it over his head and Jungkook couldn’t help but giggle. Yoongi seemed like he wanted to get down to it fast and Jungkook was all up for it. He just wanted him. Desperately.

Jungkook looked so happy that Yoongi couldn’t help but kiss him, again and again. He was feeling the younger up shamelessly, surprised at how eagerly Jungkook reacted. But if he was honest, he wasn’t exactly the greatest at pushing down his needs either. His desire has caught flame and was burning brighter with each touch and each kiss they shared. He palmed Jungkook through his pants and was rewarded with a beautiful groan that he kissed right out of the youngers mouth. He would tease as many moans out of him as he could tonight... His hand found its way to the button and with a pop and a stare right into the youngers eyes he opened his pants. Jungkook smirked. He felt hot and the mixture of desire, happiness and alcohol he had before was loosening his tongue. His voice barely a whisper. Breathy, soft moans escaping his lips. “I missed you,” Jungkook whispered, when Yoongi was leaving a wet trail of kisses all over his stomach, “I knew…you would come…back. Just…needed you to see me.”

He couldn’t really make sense of Jungkook’s words but as he had more pressing matters right now - like undressing him - he concentrated on that. Jungkook looked amazing like this, all the expanse of smooth, unblemished skin… Yoongi couldn’t wait to take him.

Jungkook moaned, when Yoongi was palming him again through his boxers, arching his back beautifully, “Hm you…just needed a little push…but now you’re…with me.” Closing his eyes in pleasure, Jungkook wasn’t even sure if his mumbling made sense, but he needed Yoongi to know that he had always been there. Waiting for him. To see him. To love him.

Yoongi faltered when he realized that Jungkook was talking about Jimin’s accident. The exact thing he tried to not think about right now. His voice was a little bitter when he answered. “A little push? Well, I’d call that an enormous, unnecessary crash. A waste of metal and brain cells and... and goddamn trust!”

Jungkook let his hands caress over Yoongi’s chest, as he still felt blissfully gone in the pleasure not really noticing that Yoongi was stiffening up a little. Leaning forward, he kissed along his shoulder and up to his neck, until he was reaching Yoongi’s jawline. “It wasn’t unnecessary,” He whispered quietly, placing a kiss on his lips, “Now, you see he isn’t good for you.” Another kiss on Yoongi’s cheek and Jungkook lost himself, not really caring about telling Yoongi the truth now. “I knew he would go crazy,” He whispered, “It was only a matter of time until he would break and you’re back with me.”

Yoongi looked at him incredulously. “You... you’re making it sound like what happened to Jimin was a good thing! And... even though you were right about him hurting me, maybe... if...if there’s an explanation for everything... you see... if he would just tell me the truth and promise to never do something crazily stupid like this... I think I could forgive him?” He felt awkward talking about everything in the current position he was in. This was meant to be a pretty distraction. Not an opportunity to delve even deeper into his hurt and confusion.

“There is an explanation,” Jungkook caressed over Yoongi’s cheek softly, before he confessed easily, “Jimin is a mess and I couldn’t let you stumble into something and let you get hurt even more in the end. So, he just needed a little push and I took it upon myself to do so. I needed you to be safe. I can’t see you getting hurt. He would have hurt you…and it would have been worse.” He sighed, kissing Yoongi’s jawline sweet and quick as he let his hand caress down his naked back, “I needed you to see who he really is.”

Yoongi felt like he was in some kind of distorted reality. Hearing Jungkook say those words and realizing their meaning where two different things. His mind was just blank for a second. Then it hit him like a wall of bricks. “W...what? His voice sounded as choked as he felt. This couldn’t be true. He felt sick, scrambling to get away from Jungkook and sit on the bed, staring at him as if he had sprouted another head. “This... No way. There’s no way that this... Please tell me you’re joking. Tell me this is an inappropriate, awful, twisted excuse of a joke!” Jungkook had flinched when Yoongi moved so fast, that he wasn’t able to reach out for him. He huffed, being slightly annoyed that Yoongi apparently still thought that what happened to Jimin was still worth an explanation.

“He did it all himself! He made that mess, not me,” Jungkook said, his voice began to shake, “I maybe put some of the drugs into his drink, but he was the one who crashed into the wall. Jimin wanted to race! I didn’t make him! It’s his own fault that he crashed.” Jungkook was totally blind to the consequences of his behavior by now, just seeing his own hurt and pain, “You were able to see how messed up he is… because no one saw it. It wasn’t the first time he did stuff like that and you know that! Why would he change for you then? He would have only hurt you? I wouldn’t. I was always there for you!”

Yoongi got up, the rage making his hands shake while took his shirt and tried his best to put it back on without ripping it in the process - or throwing a punch at Jungkook. “You’re delusional, Jungkook. How could you... how on earth could you think that anything would justify drugging… my God, you could have killed him! You knew he was on drugs... drugs that you gave him... “ He broke off. Any second that he was with Jungkook was a second wasted in which he could tell Jimin that he was sorry. “I need to find Jimin. Right now.”

“Yoongi! No!” Jungkook got up on his knees, catching Yoongi’s wrist easily and holding him back in the process, “He will do it again and you know that. If it isn’t me… then he will get it from someone else. And he will drag you down with him!” His voice suddenly softened, his heart beating hard against his chest when he realized that Yoongi was about to run away from him… again. He was getting anxious. His heart aching painfully with every beat of it. “Please, Yoongi,” Jungkook wrapped his arms around the older waist to keep him close and from running away, “Please don’t go. I just… wanted you to see me. Why didn’t you see me? Please…stay here, please. I just…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for him to get hurt, believe me. That was his fault. Not mine! Please, I love you…”

Yoongi had tried, he had really tried to hold himself back but seeing Jungkook like this, still believing that he did the right thing and even daring to tell him that he loved him while the real person who told him that was hurting because of Jungkook – he just snapped. He forcefully ripped Jungkook’s hands off of him, not caring in the slightest if he hurt him.

“You poor, twisted excuse of a person! You have no idea what love is about if you think that you could trick someone into loving you like that. You risked Jimin’s sanity, his life for your wicked little plans.” He shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe it, a humorless laugh on his lips. “And I even told Jimin that none of you would ever do anything to harm him. I really believed in you, no matter how childish or angry or jealous you might be. No, I could never love you Jungkook. Not after I’ve seen what you turned out to be. I never want to see you again.” It was just a whisper, low and hateful but it had the same effect as if Yoongi had screamed it in his face or beat it into his skin.” Then he left, not sparing the younger a single glance.

“Yoongi, please! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt him I just... I wanted...” His voice died out. Jungkook bit down so hard on his lip that he drew blood, but the stinging feel didn’t even come close to the havoc that Yoongi’s words wreaked inside of his chest. He had to swallow down his whimpers to talk but he couldn’t just give up he couldn’t let Yoongi walk away he needed... he needed him to understand, so stay, to... to not leave him again. “Please...” His voice was weak, barely a shadow of himself. “I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever you…want me to do just please.. please don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” He was crying now, begging although Yoongi was long gone. Left him like before. When Yoongi walked away Jungkook finally broke, curling into himself on the bed, crying miserably, for Yoongi, for his broken heart, for everything he had ruined.

Taehyung turned the key in the lock of their shared apartment with a sigh. It was late already, and he just hoped Jungkook was already asleep and not staying awake playing videos games all night and then falling asleep at work again. He smiled at the cute moments, where Taehyung had to shake Jungkook awake when they had a new customer. How flustered he was. The red flushing his cheeks and Taehyung would have loved to lean over and…

A quiet sob made Taehyung freeze in his movements, closing the main door quietly as he listened. He threw his bag aside, not even caring to get out of his jacket as he ran over to Jungkook’s room, only coming to a halt in front of his door. Taehyung didn’t need to push the door open, it still stood wide, seeing Jungkook in his half naked, curled in form, sobbing and crying. “Jungkook,” His voice was barely audible, when Taehyung rushed over to Jungkook who was looking like he had hurt himself, or got hurt, or whatever happened. Either way Taehyung was worried and scared. “It’s me, Tae,” He whispered, getting onto the bed, carefully reaching out for Jungkook to not startle him, “What happened? Are you okay?”

Jungkook saw Taehyung running towards him and instead of getting comfort from how worried Tae was because of him and he just died a little more inside. Tae. Caring, joyful Tae with his heart too big and his mind full of wonder. How would he react when he found out what he had done? He whimpered, thinking about how Tae would push him away like Yoongi. Which he would do because Tae was gentle, warm hearted and patient in places where Jungkook was just downright cruel as he had shown all too clearly with his actions. He just curled in tighter on himself, hiding his face in his arms, trying not to let Tae see, trying to protect himself from getting his heart broken again tonight.

“Jungkookie, please,” Taehyung shifted a little closer, caressing reassuringly over his back – but no matter what he did, Jungkook didn’t talk to him. So, Taehyung did what he deemed was the best to do in a situation like this. He got rid of his jacket quick, just because it annoyed him and was uncomfortable. Before he laid down beside Jungkook though, he got a thin blanket to drape it over him. He didn’t want him to start freezing. Jungkook had turned away from him, but that didn’t keep Taehyung from putting his arm around the younger as he laid down beside him, caressing over his arm softly. “I’m here, it’s okay,” Taehyung said quietly, “I’ll stay here, okay?”

Jungkook just wished Taehyung wouldn’t be so nice to him then because then maybe the contrast wouldn’t be as cruel. Every caress hurt like a cut because it wasn’t what he deserved, and he knew that Tae would get away from him as soon as he knew the truth, just like Yoongi had. He just wished he could take it all back. Everything. Not just that he had told Yoongi. But what he had done. To Jimin. To everyone. He had been so angry. Now he just felt lost. And hurt. He had been broken already before he just hadn‘t realized it till now.

He had risked Jimin dying just to get Yoongi to love him. Which had been meaningless anyway because Yoongi was still in love with Jimin and even if he wasn‘t he would never choose Jungkook. Maybe it was visible somehow to others, that he was cold and heartless, that he couldn‘t take things slow, he had to go all in every time, be it a stupid game – or love. He had been so busy fighting for Yoongi that he had entirely missed that Yoongi didn‘t want him. He had never wanted him, not like that. He had looked out for him because he was the youngest of their group and Yoongi was a person who cared for each individual in his group. Not because Jungkook was special to him. Now that the realization had sunk in that there was no one who wanted him he realized how lonely he really was. How fixated he had been on Yoongi.

He shivered when the cold was creeping under his skin. A part of him wanted to tell Taehyung some lie so that the other would feel with him, would hold him, make him feel better. But it would be cruel to use Tae‘s soft heart like that. And he couldn‘t... he couldn‘t do that to him. Even if it would have meant to soothe his pain for a while. He needed to tell Taehyung the truth as he deserved it, show him at least that little act of respect for everything the other had done for him, for the long time they had been friends. No matter how much it would hurt to lose Tae as well. “Please... please stop.” His voice sounded as broken as he felt but there was no other way than to just tell him right now.

Taehyung felt his stomach drop with how broken Jungkook sounded. He stopped everything he was doing right away, looking at Jungkook in confusion. “What’s wrong? What happened, Jungkookie?” Taehyung asked carefully, propping himself up on his elbow to look over Jungkook’s shoulder and at his face, “Please, you know you can tell me anything. No matter what it is…”

Jungkook took a deep breath and looked at Tae’s face, so gentle, so worried before he would look at him with contempt and disgust, like Yoongi had. It really had been nice to have a best friend, someone who shared the same passions and who was by his side through the good times as well as the bad. He sobbed when he tried not to think about how all of those memories would fade away now that Tae would start to hate him. As soon as the other would realize how he really was he would turn his back on him. Better not to stall it. It was like pulling off a plaster, the quicker the painless it would be. But it would still hurt like hell.

“I fucked up, Tae“ It was a meaningless sentence, considering that Tae must have figured something was wrong the way he was curled, with his tear streaked face and empty eyes.

A sad smile appeared on Taehyung’s face, when Jungkook confessed to him and Taehyung pulled in Jungkook a little closer to him, making sure he could feel the warmth coming from him, instead of pushing him away.

“I... Jimin... the accident... it’s all my fault. I tried to make him run into trouble so Yoongi would be disappointed and... not love him anymore.” Now that he phrased it like this is sounded stupid even to his own ears. He didn’t tell Taehyung that he had wanted Yoongi to love him instead. It hurt too much. And for the moment he tried not to think too far ahead, just be with Taehyung for as long as he could before he would be alone again. his voice was barely audible when he spoke, but he got the words out because if he didn’t manage to tell Taehyung the truth now he would never have the guts to do it. And so, Taehyung would hear it from someone else and abandon him too but... he wouldn’t be able to say goodbye. “I drugged him, Tae. I put something in his drink and then... didn’t held him back when he got in his car.”

“I know,” He whispered, pushing a string of hair out of Jungkook’s face, chuckling a little at Jungkook’s confused expression. He knew how much it would hurt if the one you loved didn’t love you back, if he was longing after someone else while you tried to make him see you. The feeling had made itself a home in his heart. He knew it all too well, but the difference was, Jungkook had acted on the feeling and Taehyung had to see his downfall.

“Who do you think called the ambulance?” Taehyung asked, not accusing Jungkook in any way, “I saw you with him and at first I didn’t think anything bad…but then Jimin got into the car and I knew something was wrong. I know you didn’t mean to hurt him.” He hooked a finger under Jungkook’s chin to make him look up at him, “You messed up big time. I know you’ve been hurting but it’s not an excuse…but I know you better than anyone else. I wish I could have…helped you more. Keep you safe and not make you run into any more trouble. I’m sorry I failed.” He reached out to cup Jungkook’s cheek, his thumb caressing over the soft skin, wiping away a tear that fell. “I’m disappointed, Jungkook…,” Taehyung said with a soft voice, wrapping his arm a little closer around Jungkook to make sure the younger felt what he would say next through his actions, “...but I don’t hate you.”

“You knew?” Jungkook couldn’t wrap his head around it. But in this mess that was his life at least something needed to be good right?

“So, it was you…,” He had wondered who had found Jimin first while he lay awake in that first night after the incident, horrified by the thought of people coming too late or the car catching fire. But not in his wildest dreams did he think it could have been Taehyung. Now it made sense why his friend had avoided him those last few days. But he had kept his mouth shut, without doubt corrupting his own moral compass and still sticking to it - for him. And, although he had just told him that he was disappointed in him he was still there. He still held him. Jungkook leaned his head on Taehyung's shoulder, sighing deeply and closing his eyes, just to rest for a second. To not feel so broken, even if it was just for the blink of an eye.

“Yoongi said he doesn’t want to see me again, so I guess that’s it, working at the workshop is over for me. It would be nice if you would let me stay in the flat for a little while though, only until I find something else.” Just mentioning Yoongi’s name hurt. But he would get used to it. Just like he would get used to a new job, new flat. New friends. Not everyone would react like Taehyung had, he was certain of that. “I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to find something new, but I swear I’m not going to make you choose between Yoongi and me. I’ll just come home to sleep so they don’t have to run into me when they come over.” It would be strange to go without their ‘special friendship nights’, watching stupid films and getting pizza. But he would never go against Yoongi ever again. And he was sure Jimin didn’t want to see him either. He should apologize to him. Get him chocolate, some flowers, a card. Though he doubted there would be one that said, “I’m sorry I drugged you and left you to die I didn’t mean to and it was really stupid”. He shivered but if it was because of the cold or because he was scared, he couldn't tell.

Taehyung listened to Jungkook attentively, while he caressed through his hair, pulling the blanket a little closer over his shoulders, when he felt the shiver in Jungkook’s body. “I understand if it is your decision if you want to go, but don’t do it because of me. You don’t have to move out,” A faint smile appeared on his lips, “And we’ll figure something out, okay? Just… please.” He waited for Jungkook to look at him again, “Listen to me this time, okay? You and me we’re going to make this right. I can’t promise that Yoongi will forgive you...or Jimin... but at least you can try and I won’t leave you alone in this. You’re better than that. You just...got lost.” Taehyung leaned in to place a kiss on top of Jungkook’s hair. He couldn’t let Jungkook be alone in this, no matter how hard he had fucked up. It was an easy promise for him, because deep in his heart Taehyung knew that Jungkook wouldn’t do such things again. He had learned the hard way now.

“I’ll be back in a second okay?” He whispered, before he slipped out of the blanket, making sure Jungkook wouldn’t freeze without his body heat as he draped it closer over his body.

When Tae left him, he curled in on himself again, staying like this completely motionless and getting lost in his own thoughts until Tae came back.

Taehyung rushed to the kitchen first, opening the freezer as he got out a bottle of water and some of Jungkookie’s favorite banana milk. The younger always drank it when he was feeling low or sad and Taehyung knew all about Jungkook’s favorite things. Then he got some tissues, before he rushed into the bathroom, getting a small towel, wetting it with warm water. When he was back with Jungkook, he placed the things onto the little nightstand, just so the other would only need to reach out for it. He sat himself back next to Jungkook, pulling the younger one into his embrace. Reaching for the towel, he cleaned Jungkook’s face, so he could feel a little better, with the uttermost care. His arm holding the younger tight to him, while Jungkook’s head was resting on his chest.

Jungkook let Tae take care of him like a scared child, rigid and wide eyed and insecure. He would go with whatever would come next, completely disconnected from the here and now. Just watching, reacting passively and relying mainly on instincts. Thinking too much hadn’t done him any good and right now he was hurting too much to use his mind properly, so he let the comfortably numb feeling wash over him.

Taehyung noticed how lifeless Jungkook seemed and it hurt him to see his friend like that. He wished he could have done more for him before, that it wouldn’t have to go so far. Sighing deeply, he put the washcloth away again, reaching for the water to make Jungkook drink a little. He didn’t want him to get a headache from dehydration tomorrow. Luckily for him, Jungkook was pliant and doing whatever he told him… though it still made his heart sting painfully.

“I’m going to stay by your side okay?” He whispered sweetly into his hair, placing a kiss on top of his head, “You won’t be alone.” Shifting a little, he pulled the blanket over himself as well, letting Jungkook settle next to him however he liked. When the younger was seeking his embrace and warmth, Taehyung caressed sweetly over his hair, reassuring him each time he stirred, waiting until the exhaustion had taken over and he had fallen asleep in his arms. Taehyung's warmth and kindness was more than he felt he deserved so he felt a bit guilty for accepting it so easily, but how could he turn down the only comfort he had? He tried not to make it too obvious how he was snuggling closer to his friend, burying his head somewhere near Taehyung's chest. He whispered a quiet thank you against the boys skin before the need to rest took over, making him fall asleep in no time.

A/N: We are nearing the end! What do you think about this chapter? Will Yoongi be able to find Jimin soon? Ughhh my heart broke a little for Jungkook here ;; Anyways.... thank you for reading! You are the best! Thank you so much for your support! ❤ I am so sorry that I couldn’t link any chapters or the masterlist on this post. Tumblrs latest issues makes the post not show up on the search engine when you link internal links...which is very stupid....but okay. So, you can find everything in the masterlist in my description and I’ll relink everything soon.

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boneybabbles · 5 years

Text

A book I will never write: Project 1

The air smelled of ale, greasy burgers, overcooked onion rings, and fumes. The thin, swinging wooden doors that led straight to the tavern next door did not keep out the rowdy noise of the crowd within. As glass shattered, shouts got louder, and the sound of bone on bone drifted from beyond the doors and thin walls, Andromeda looked out of the grimy window at the cloudless, dark purple sky. In all the hours she had been stuck in this stuffy, stinky store, kept away from the gorgeous open sky; there had only been one customer.

A too chirpy vacationing couple that used this rotting store as a quick pit stop.

“Have you ever taken the summer to roadtrip to all the planets?” they said.

“Do you know if any of the Great Attractions are good along the way?” Inquired the tall male with a spiked hair and the common opalescent skin.

The female next to him, equally tall but instead with rough, red skin and black rope like hair had the gall to ask

“What kind of girl is stuck here for the summer, instead of being out with her friends?”. Andromeda begrudgingly replied politely to all their questions as they paid for their snacks, drinks, and a map. Even though all she wanted to do was snap back at them, she had a paycheck that she desperately wanted.

Once the couple climbed into their rounded ship and glided away, there had been not a soul since. Unless you count the usual brutes in the tavern as customers.

Andromeda sighed what was probably the longest and heaviest sigh in history. The sigh was so long that by the end of it, her lungs burned and she might as well have been spitting fire. She turned from the pathetic and grimy window to the clock that sat above the squeaky glass door. Tick.. Tick… Tick…. The seconds seemed to taunt her, letting her know she still had two miserable hours left of her horrid shift in this disgusting fuel-stop shop. Andromeda would much rather spend these slow hours at home with Horus.

She looked around the small, cluttered, dusty, repulsive fuel-stop store. It's a wonder this place is still open she thought while she leaned onto the front counter. The cluttered aisles were pushed too close together. The floor was more dirt, grime and gods knows what than actual flooring. And usually dead rodents could be found in the corners around the store!

The only source of income were the nasty freighters that stopped by once or twice a week depending on their shipping routes. The freighters were more strongly built beasts, then civilized beings. They all smelled, they all had dirty, foul mouths (not that Andromeda was much better) and she doubted any of them knew what manners even were. Still, they mostly only came for the tavern next door and the freighter parking where they could park to get a few hours of sleep before they were off again.

At last, Andromeda’s shift was over! She was already out the door before the next employee even crossed the nasty store’s threshold. She ran for where her hoverboard was tucked behind the back of the store, a long sleek oval of metal that could zoom a few feet above the ground because of Aristaeus strong magnetic core. Without hesitation Andromeda jumped on her board and zoomed out of the lot, the desert terrain of the planet's surface whizzing under her as she raced home under the forever purple sky.

The ride home was filled with wind, dust, and the endless starway beneath her. As soon as Andromeda glided into the sandy grounds of her family's home, she ditched her board near the stucco house and ran straight for the matching barn.

The barn had a feed room, tack room, a loft, and ten stalls. Only seven used for mytaugh. Mytaugh were horse like creatures that might be the outcome if someone were to mix a draft horse with a plant that sprouted from starlight. They were beautiful creatures that came in infinite colors and patterns with personalities just as unique. Mytaugh are esteemed beings because they choose only one person to bond and ride with forever. It is an honor to be chosen by a mytaugh.

When Andromeda reached the plain rock barn, she went straight to Horus. He whipped his large powerful head around and let out a small, happy screech when the oblivious mytaugh finally realized his person was home.

Andromeda slipped into Horus's stall and began petting the large mytaugh. The two were complete opposites. Night and day, dusk and dawn, water and fire, air and earth.

Horus was tall with a dark blue coat, so dark it was almost black. He had small specks of lilac on his rump and sock-like markings on his ankle in the same light shade. He was built more like his ancient ancestors, the stocky draft horse, than the wispy, dainty, lithe creatures they were mixed with. Andromeda, on the other hand, was short with light skin. She was so short, she often had to look up at everyone even though she was fully grown, just like them. She had an extremely light opalescent skin shade that was light even for Aristaeus’ standards. Furthermore, she had no interesting markings or traits. And her build was lean and fast, almost like she should play the sports she was oh so bad at.

Andromeda stood there just petting Horus for a while. Finally she vaulted her way onto his back ditching her harness, leaving it in the tack room. Horus walked toward the stall door and turned, allowing Andromeda to unlock it and swing it open. Just like that the two were off, racing out the barn and across the front grounds of their home. They ran and ran and ran until they peaked the top of a very tall hill that led to a wide open plain.

The two went to plain almost daily. Its right behind their family's house after climbing the large hill that hides it from sight. Horus slowed at Andromeda's command and the two stood there looking down on the great stretch of land below. The sassy mytaugh stamped his leg and in an instant his voice was in Andromeda's mind.

"You're not the one standing. Aka doing all the work! Might want to correct that thought of yours."

She rolled her eyes at his outburst. Ok, so they weren't standing on the ridge looking down at the plain. Horus was standing proudly on the ridge while Andromeda sat on his back looking over the plain. He could be so sassy and passive aggressive at times. It was quite funny. Andromeda thought.

With one more thought directed towards Horus, the two were off loping down the hill, moving as one. The hill was tall and steep so Horus had to zigzag down it.

When they reached the base of the hill and the large, sandy, rocky plain, Horus and Andromeda paused. The pair paused there, breathing deeply, feeling each others hearts beat, listening to both of their silent minds. Just like that, as one, they took off like a bullet. They raced across the flat land, eating up the ground before them. Andromeda moved flawlessly with Horus's natural movements. They moved as one. One body, one heart, one mind. Horus let out a thunderous screech of delight.

After hours of running, jumping and playing, Andromeda was left lying on the ground. Horus was behind her laying down also. Andromeda had her head resting on his side like he was a pillow. She was looking up at the sky as it faded into the universe's natural state. Soon it would be covered in stars that would light up Aristaeus surface with a faint blue glow.

Andromeda laid there thinking. She thought about her job, her summer break, and her non existent friends. She also thought about her family. This brought with it, feelings of anger, sadness, and worry. All of a sudden there was a voice inside her head that made her jump. It was Horus.

"You know," he said "just because I wiggle my way into your mind doesn't mean I dont feel your emotions too. Honestly you should know this. We are bonded after all, I chose you."

Andromeda made a humming noise agreeing that yes, sadly he could feel her emotions too. Horus continued,

"So it would be nice if you would not worry so much. I'm ready to throw up already! How are you not sick from all that worrying you're doing?"

"You're not funny and I am sick from it." Andromeda grumbled.

She got up and sat on Horus's back then laid down so her head was resting on his rump as she continued to keep looking up at the sky.

"Come on," She thought to the mytaugh. "Let's go home."

Horus walked straight into his stall with Andromeda still on him. Andromeda slid off Horus’s tall form. She slowly made her way to the stall door and right before she closed it a familiar voice filled her head. Horus had been quiet on the short ride home but apparently now he had something to say.

“It will be ok,” His mind's voice said “Whatever it is, it will be ok in the end.”

Andromeda stared at him in shock, the stall door still half open in her hands.

“W-what?” She stuttered “Don't you already know what it is? You're always in my head listening to me.”

“I'm always in your head but i'm not always listening. That would be so rude! Can you imagine if I was listening to you all these years! I probably would've died from your overactive imagination when we were younger.” The mytaugh ranted.

He had a point. Horus was a yearling and Andromeda was six when he chose her. At that time in her life she was a very weird nurseling and most of the time her mind would run rampant. That was over a decade ago. But right now she was still shocked that he didn't know what she was stressing about.

“Oh.. well.. Thank you.” She grumbled

Andromeda closed the stall door and meandered from the barn towards her family's house in the dark of night. Sleepily she picked up her hoverboard to carry into her room.

She climbed up the dark wooden stairs that lead to the low front porch. The front porch was covered with a roof that was made of the same dark wood that made up the stairs and floor of the porch. The house itself was a white stucco single story dwelling, modeled after the architecture of the ancient worlds. It had many square windows all along the house to let in the light from Aten during the day and glowed yellow from light within at night. The front door was a very dark wood, almost black looking. It had beautiful carvings in it telling different stories in different landscapes. Stories lost long, long ago in the ancient world. Andromeda touched the gold colored handle and the door swung open into the house. It revealed a shouting match in the living room.

Calypso and Vega, Andromeda’s sisters, were screaming and hitting each other with pillows from the couch. At the sound of the door, Andromeda's twin looked up from his position on the couch. It looked like he’d been watching the two while they raged on.

Andromeda ignored her sisters shouts as she walked to the hallway on her right that led to her room. She stopped in her room to prop her hoverboard against the wall and grab one other thing.

By the time she came back out to living room, the burgundy couch Atlas had been sitting on was turned over, pillows all over the floor, the mustard colored chair closest to their fake fire holder, was in two; and the other burgundy couch that was closest to Andromeda was now a wrestling ring for her sisters.

Andromeda walked in front of the whole scene to get a better vantage point. It turns out, Atlas was still on the turned over couch reading as if nothing happened. Contrary, Calypso was now on top of Vega trying to do, honestly, gods knows what.

Andromeda took the stick out of little ball she was holding, threw it near her sisters, and covered her ears.

The small ball let out a loud piercing noise that hurt everyone's eardrums. The sound was deafening and shrill. It was so loud the whole planet could probably hear it. At the sound, Calypso fell off of Vega and the couch while covering her ears. Vega just gave Andromeda a hateful glare while covering her ears.

The small noise grenade died off seconds later. Now it was time for Andromeda to make noise. She stared at her siblings from where she stood at the front of this mess.

“Where are mum and dad?” Andromeda started off with.

“They are out tending a sick Caw somewhere at some farm.” Atlas replied half interested. He didn't even bother looking at her as he said it. A Caw was a large air animal that somehow flew despite its awkward wings. They also produced milk that was drank throughout most planets.

“Do we know how long they are going to be gone?” She continued.

This time Vega answered her with venom in her tone. “They may be gone all night. The Caw is sick and expecting a babe.”

Andromeda sighed at that. Sometimes their parents chose the wrong times to be amazing vets.

“Ok,” Andromeda drawled. “Then why were you two fighting?” She said while jerking her chin at her sisters.

Calypso was still on the ground glaring at Andromeda like she was ready to kill her. Andromeda stare her eldest sister down waiting for an answer. Atlas sighed from the other side of the room as he picked up a pillow. He threw it at Calypso as he walked out of the room towards the kitchen. It hit the side of her head and she blinked. At that, Calypso caved and said, “Vega said that ancient humans were smart and most likely intellectual creatures,” Calypso looked towards Vega. “even though our scientist proved they were all as good as pigs! So I started a debate with her to show her how stupid she was being.”

“So you two had to start killing each other!?” Andromeda's voice was so loud it was almost screaming but she quieted down for her next reaction. “You two are brilliant but yet you choose to fight!? You debate the creature that's undoing was violence, yet you practice the same thing? Honestly you two should be appalled at yourselves and I shouldn't have to even say this to you! Why can’t you two go debate peacefully without hitting each other, just stick to yelling.” She fumed at both of her sisters. Vega and Calypso were both older than herself yet sometimes she was the only one that could think straight.

“We may fight like humans but at least we don't work at a fuel stop like some heathen.” Vega seethed at Andromeda. “We also have friends and we all know when it comes to school, Cal and I excel while you… flounder at best.”

Andromeda grit her teeth and clenched her jaw. She could play dirty with them if she wanted to. Instead, “Just stop hitting each other. Fight and debate if you wish, I don't care.” She snarled before stomping to the kitchen to the left of her.

Andromeda passed through the arch made of dark brown wood, into the kitchen. It’s warm yellow walls were adorned with pictures and paintings. The large round table in front of the windows, was painted black and made to look like their solar system with a beautiful and bright Aten in the middle. The countertops and cabinets were sleek and sterile, made of some kind of dark metal Andromeda did not understand. Despite the harshness of the metal, Andromeda loved this room the most because it felt the most warm and inviting. Not that the rest of the house wasn't. Cherika, Andromeda’s mother, loved ancient looking things so she decorated the family home like an ancient human home. It was inviting and plush. Made for comfort, not practicality. This happened to be one of the things Andromeda’s father, Loni, loved about Cherika and made him fall for her.

Atlas was sitting on top of the island in the middle of the kitchen, eating a bright green and yellow fruit. He acknowledged her presence but said nothing. The two might be twins but you'd never know it by the way they looked and acted. Most of the time Atlas pretended Andromeda didn't exist. Andromeda made her way to the freezing box to grab leftovers from the night before. She heated the food up making enough for 2 people. Throwing it on plates, Andromeda walked to the gorgeous table to start eating. On the way to the table, Andromeda shoved one of the plates at her brother who begrudgingly took it and followed her to the table.

They ate in silence. Andromeda kept to her own thoughts thinking about different things. She started to wish Horus could reach her mind all the way in the house. If he could they'd be talking right now. Instead Andromeda and Atlas sat in suffocating silence. Atlas finished his plate and as he got up to put it away, he said “Vega is right you know. I don't get why you work at that abomination of a fuel station or why your grades are so low. I mean you remember stuff but yet you still get fails in almost every class. So really, if you are that bad you shouldn't be appalled at them. At least they are doing something with their lives.”

With that Atlas left probably going to his room. Andromeda sat there with wet eyes just staring at the bright yellow Aten on the table.

The room was suddenly colder and it seemed like the lights dimmed even though they did not. Staring down at Aten, her food completely forgotten, Andromeda looked at its bright yellow and orange and red flames. The middle was a yellow and orange circle that had a pleasant and inviting face on it. Off of the circle was Aten’s magnificent rays of light. All of them were wavy and came to a point but each one was different shade of orange or yellow with the occasional red. All around the edge of the table were the nine planets that made up our solar system. Balder, The planet of dreamers. Bragi, The planet of scholars and writings. Isis, The planet of the Seers and healers. Ptah, The planet full of inventors and scientists. Aristaeus, The planet of agriculture and animal husbandry. Pallas, The planet of Military Associations. Kanaloa, The planet that distributes water throughout planets and nurtures all aquatic beings; Also the planet that is most like the ancient homeland, Earth. Uli, The planet of Philosophy and wisdom. Lastly, The planet the galaxy depends on most, Themis. The planet of Law and Justice.

Andromeda always wanted to visit the other eight planets but knew she probably never would. That never stopped her from dreaming though. Late at night when Andromeda was laying in bed or when she would ride with Horus, She would wonder about which planet she would belong on most. Most people in her galaxy would spend about a year traveling the planets to see where they fit in most to continue their lives doing what they love. Statistics from Ptah show, that for every person that leaves their home planet, there were two that stay. Not because the person couldn't get off of their planet but because that was truly what they loved and had no interest in pursuing anything else. Andromeda knew that her sisters would probably go to Ptah and Uli. She also knew that her brother would probably go to Pallas or stay here on Aristaeus. What Andromeda didn't know though, was where she was going to go.

She felt something wet fall on her hand. Andromeda looked down at the water droplets on her hand in surprise. She hadn't realized she was crying. She hadn't even realised she was sad. That was because andromeda was not sad but in fact furious. The tear of rage quickly sizzled off her hot, enraged skin with a quick hiss. How dare Atlas say that about her! At least she was doing something with her life! And she was just as capable of school projects as the three of them. Andromeda just happened to not particularly care about them. And if she ever wanted to admit it, which she would but probably never out loud, She was probably better than all three of her siblings. As Andromeda thought these things, her blood was practically boiling. She stood up so fast from the lovely table that the dark wooden chair fell backwards. Andromeda grabbed her plate and threw it into the sink with more force than needed before stomping off across house. She stalked and stomped through the odd kitchen of her home, through the half wrecked yet still beautiful living room, through the dark hallway covered in pictures and paintings, all the way to her room. Andromeda entered her room and slammed the door to the point of it almost coming off of its magnetic hinges. Upon entering her room Andromeda looked around at the soft purple walls that matched Horus’s markings. She looked at her hoverboard that she had painted and drawn on so it would really seem like hers and not just a scrap of metal. She looked at her scale of their galaxy hanging in the corner of her room that she used to fall asleep watching every night. She looked at the pictures on top of the set of drawers that stood in front of her sleep pod. The hologram pictures that constantly blinked between art pieces she loved, her friends, and Horus. That was when her raging fire calmed down. Andromeda slumped against her room's door and sat there thinking about how to fix this.

Andromeda hastily jumped up and practically ran to her tall armoire. She grabbed her black satchel and hastily filled it. Andromeda paused in front of her hoverboard and looked at her Epikoi checking the time. It was 2400 which meant she had half of a standard galactic hour left. Andromeda grabbed the board and silently bolted to the barn with her bag on her left shoulder.

Upon reaching the barn doors, Andromeda propped her hoverboard against one and plunked her satchel next to it. She deftly opened the other barn door and crept through the semi darkness to Horus’s stall. The brilliant mytaugh was illuminated by the blue tinted light from the billion of stars that made Aristaeus glow at night. Andromeda crept into the stall and started to pet the mytaugh until he roused seconds later. She lovingly grabbed Horus’s large head as his voice filled her mind.

“What could you possibly want at this ungodly hour, human. I am trying to get my beauty sleep.” If mytaugh were capable of facial expressions like smiling, Andromeda had no doubt the creature would be smirking.

“Well,” she started whispering while stroking Horus’s long nose. “I just wanted to tell you that: once I can, I will send for you. But until then, please just wait and don't bite anyone's arm off when you get prissy.” she winked. With that, Andromeda wriggled out of the stall not waiting for a response and back out into the open night. She didn't hesitate as she slung the satchel over her body and hopped on her hoverboard zooming off of her family’s ground, onto the seemly endless starway, retracing the path she took earlier.

When Andromeda reached the dusty fuel-stop parking area where there were about two dozen freighter ships parked, she hopped off of her board and began to look around. When she finally found the green and orange ship she was looking for, she tucked her board behind it where it would be hidden and ran off to the nasty tavern that had yellow light streaming from its ever dirty windows.

The tavern was almost as bad as the store she worked in next door. The only reason it was better was because the wooden floor was washed clean from the puddles of spilled ale on it and the smell of fried foods almost hid the unworldly smell of the nasty freighters. The bell above the door rang as Andromeda entered but either no one in the large crowd heard or cared. The bar at the back was packed with brutes twice her size, half of them them singing an off key bawdy tune obviously intoxicated. To her left some tables had been pushed together and a large drunken card game was going on around what seemed to be two players fighting probably for losing to one another. And to her right were various dimly lit booths and tables with different freighters seated at them drinking, eating, talking, or sleeping. The tavern itself was modern enough but the wooden panels lining each wall suggested this place was originally built to feel old.

Andromeda searched the tables and booths for one specific mass of muscle. She cut across the dingy tavern and slid down in the booth right across from him. In the yellow tinted light Andromeda looked over the man’s bright opalescent skin, that was taking on the same tint as the lighting above. He wore dark clothing contrasting his flawless skin but matching his styled hair. When Andromeda finally looked up he was smirking at her and had a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Hello Elon” Andromeda purred and smiled.

Elon was still smirking as his rich baritone filled her ears. “What do I owe this visit to, dear?”

Andromeda scoffed and sat back. “Can I not visit my favorite brute without there being a reason?” She said. “But while we are on the subject I need a favor.”

Andromeda was taking a gamble but she knew that out of any freighter she had ever seen stop here, Elon was the one most likely to help her. He was only about two years older than her and already found his job. They met on his first run to Pallas from Ptah. The young man had stopped in the freighter lot not knowing it was huge mistake. He had walked into the store to buy a soda but after talking to Andromeda, who was behind the counter that day, he decided against it. A wise choice. That had been a year ago and since then, Elon would stop at the tavern and store whenever he could. The two had become something like friends in his stops and messaging when he was away.

Elon chuckled at that. “I knew there had to be a reason for you to show your beautiful face.”

“Alright Elon, stop flirting.” At this his posture changed. He sat up straight and was no longer smirking as Andromeda continued, her voice not a lovely, devious, tone anymore. “I'm trying to fix a problem I have and I was wondering if you let me ride with you to your next stop.”

Elon sat back in his chair and studied her. His face unreadable. He was watching her so long she was about to squirm when he finally said, “Kanaloa is my stop then back up to Ptah.”

“That's fine.” Andromeda replied probably too quickly.

Elon nodded but was obviously still thinking things through. Yet all he said in reply was, “Why.” Andromeda don't know what seemed liked the blow she felt. Was it the question itself? Was it his deep baritone laced with curiosity and worry in a way that made it seem soft but harsh at the same time? Or maybe it was him staring so intently at her. Andromeda didn't know but despite herself she just stared at him.

“I have a problem. I am trying to fix that problem and the way to fix it is to get away from it.” she said keeping her words short and frank.

Elon sighed seeming exhausted still staring at her. Andromeda stared back at him and realized that in this moment he somehow seemed older. More burdened maybe. Definitely older in some way. He slid out the chair while saying “We leave early. Now.” and then walking away. Andromeda trailed Elon out of the tavern the cool night air hitting her face the moment the pair pushed through the Taverns front doors. Elon led Andromeda to his green and orange freighter ship. She grabbed her Hover board and pack, throwing them into the back and then hauling herself into the front of the large ship next to Elon. Elon glanced at her as he started up the ship but kept his eyes ahead as they flew onto the endless starway. The only thing illuminating the two and the starway was the gorgeously cold blue light from the stars high above.

The starway was...

-Boney

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spooky-scary-skelecayde · 6 years

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Life and Death- A Short Story

@writing-prompt-s So ive been struggling to post this on mobile, but here is my Short story on the Death has a breakup Prompt. It was just an average day for you, nothing too out of the usual. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, people walking their dogs... it was on your way to meet up with a friend, that it happened. On your way over, there had been a motor accident. A mild inconvenience to you at the time, as you would have to take another route to the coffee shop, but you decided to check it out anyways before heading over. Turns out someone was struck by a vehicle and was killed on the spot... alongside the covered body, was a person who nobody really paid much mind to, as if they had a sort of filter on them to alter their own presence. Even you were finding it hard to keep your focus on them- but they were there, clear as day. The dark haired person by the body looked up to you, and smiled. Or at least you thought you seen them smile. That was the first time you saw them... you quickly fled the scene afterwards, heading to the meeting spot. It was a location you had never been to before, a nice small family run cafe. Very welcoming, and warm, with hot drinks and sandwiches, soups of the day, and a few people either chatting away, reading in a book corner of the cafe, or typing at their laptops. Your friend was very happy to see you! You and her spoke for what felt like hours, and every now and then she would flash you this smile... a familiar smile, but it's the same smile she had always given you since the day you met in college. "Hey, I've been thinking," she started, stirring her coffee slowly in thought, her words soft and gentle. "We have known eachother for awhile, and neither of us are seeing anyone... why dont- we, um, date? You're my best friend and-", you have her a smile, stopping her in her tracks and cutting her off. "I'd love to." You replied, and things were going really well. When you left the coffee shop, you gave her a small quick kiss, heart fluttering, and the both of you made plans to meet up again sometime soon when both your schedules would allow it. That's how you started dating her, and you loved her very much. You never thought about the person at the scene of the accident since it occurred, and that's how it stayed for a good few months. One time while you were out, you and your girlfriend stumbled across a dead bird, and although she was saddened, she found beauty in it, saying the bird was in a safe place without pain, and was with lived ones. She was strange like that, and you loved her. Half a year went by, and you were still together, and closer than ever before- you received a text, that made your heart sink into your stomach... "There is something I need to talk to you about, come over to my place.", it read. You have walked her home many times, and she had been over to your place many times... but never have you been inside her home. It was a foggy fall evening, and it wasnt light fog either. It was dense and heavy on your skin, which normally you would find comforting, but not so much tonight. When you got to her place she let you in with a small sad smile, apologising for such late notice, she knew you had work tomorrow. She opened the door enough for you to slide into the small flat she rented, and you tugged nervously at the sleeves of your sweater, stepping in. Glancing around the home, you grew uneasy. There were display cases, jars, picture frames... containing the remains of various small species. You've heard of vulture culture before, so it wasnt too shocking. Just uncomfortable. The picture frames had things like dead moths and butterflies, a bat even, and perhaps a bee here and there. Jars containing mice skeletons, snake skeletons, shed skins, and fangs... a few animal skulls on display. All of them had labels and names. But there was the beautiful parts of the home too, like the flowers she would often visit you smelling like, and the candles. It wasnt cluttered or dark at all. "Sit, please..." her voice dragged you out of your thoughts immediately, and you quickly seated yourself. "Tea? Water? Coffee?" She asked you nervously, hovering. You smiled, shaking your head and thanking her. "Alright. So-", she seated herself across from you, you could tell she had been distressed about something, her usually beautifully done hair a bit more out of place, her posture not as confident as it once was. "I've been thinking... a lot, and I cant hide this from you any longer," she stood once again, nervously, her voice shaking. Slowly, her hair began to change, from its previous color, to black, her skin losing all color, to a pale porcelain. Her eyes too, changed. They were as black as onyx. You didnt think any of this possible, and you stared wide eyed. "Y-you a.. a- witch!" Not that there is anything wrong with witches, you added under your breath, but she smiled sadly, shaking her head. That same familiar smile... "no, not even close. Death, actually.", her voice was still soft, and gentle. Calming. "I wanted this to work out- I really did. But I cant... we cant. We cant be together. Because I cant do it. I love you too much- the day we started dating, do you remember that horrible accident? It was supposed to be you. It was always you!" She grew more distraught, and it broke your heart, there was so much on your mind that you couldnt even get a word out. You were angry, and confused. She is death? She was breaking up with you? You were supposed to die that day? Your fist clenched into a ball, emotions welling up inside. "We can never see eachother again. You never will see me again. Today is the last time you will ever see me-" one thing led to another, and you began crying, your voice raising, words flying out. The emotions that was building up and bubbling inside you were overflowing now, and you both were terrified. You were now standing, begging that this was some sick twisted joke. You loved her. She went to move forward, to console you, but you stepped back... tripping, falling, hitting your head. Racing over to you and kneeling down, she gently placed her hands on you. "I'm sorry- I never should have hid this... I never should have fallen for you- but you have been chosen... I love how much you love. I love how much you live. I love the life you bring to everything and everyone around you, including the most unlikely, me. You have given me more life than I could ever have." She bent over, kissing you. Her tears falling on your cheek as she broke away, you vision fading. "You are life. The life I can never have. I'll never come back for you.", and then your vision fully faded, blacking out. When you woke up, she was gone. Everything was gone. You woke up in an empty flat, that looked like nobody had lived there for years. The next day, you asked around, nobody had even heard of her. None of your friends could remember her, the cafe you both frequented didnt even know she existed. Never a day in anyone's life had they heard her name, or seen her. That's how it was for awhile, and you never stopped looking. You never stopped hoping. Life flourished around you though, the grass was always greener around were you lived. When you passed an accident where people were injured, or found an injured animal, they were given another chance at life. Centuries went by like this. You aged slowly, but stopped entirely eventually when you were in your 40s. Every day you would visit the grave yard, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, just once more. But nobody came. Grave yards that you visited would always flourish with wild flowers... they were for her, and the departed. You hoped she was happy, and doing well. After all, you loved her, and she loved you, but she never came back. You never saw her again... all that you had left, was a locket with her photograph, and all of life.

#writing #writing prompt #writing prompts #fiction #short story #story #cayden writes #birb writes

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babylon-bitch · 6 years

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Just Friends ~ Drown (part 62)

A/N: I write around 9 or 10 chapter a head, and currently I’m writing the Christmas chapters. I want to get those out around the holiday season, so you’re gonna get around 2 or 3 chapters a week for a while, just a heads up so you don’t get confused. Also this is Harper’s cover: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FU5ifmugneM

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together

***

Harper’s P.O.V.

“Josh, wake up.” I shake his shoulder.

“Name me one good reason why.” He states.

“Because we’re about to land so you need to put your seatbelt on, mum would kill me if I left you, you’re sitting on my earphone wire so I’ve got limited mobility, and I was told to.” I state multiple.

“Well aren’t you a smarty pants.” He sighs and rubs his eyes.

“Thanks.” I say.

“Who told you to wake me up?” He asks, sitting up straight.

“Angus.” I say.

“Oh, hey, forgot about you.” Josh turns towards Angus.

“You’re just bitter I got the window seat.” Angus declares.

“Shut up.” Josh mutters. “I’m the oldest, I should get to pick where I sit.” He complains.

“Where’d you get that from?” I ask.

“The rules.”

“Well in that case I’m the youngest so I should get to pick where I sit, because I don’t wanna be in the middle.”

“You need to reread the rules, mate.” Angus tells me.

“Okay, fuck the rules, if we’re gonna do this properly, either Josh or me should get the window seat and you be in the middle because it goes in order.” I say.

“Ugh I hate being the middle child.” Angus groans.

“I love being the youngest because I’m the favourite.” I say smugly.

“I love being the oldest so I can be the boss.” Josh repeats my tone. “And I don’t think that’s true, I’m the favourite.”

“Okay, if that’s right, why did mum and dad pay for my flight?” I smirk.

“What?” They say in unison.

“What?” I raise an eyebrow.

“I’m a uni student, I have limited money.” Josh exclaims.

“Me too, you actually have a steady job, you probably have more money than us.” Angus states.

“Like I said, I’m the youngest, check the rules.” I wink and turn my attention to my phone, drowning their grumbles.

“Is it true you played for her flight and not ours?” Is the first thing Angus asks when we meet up with our parents.

“I told you not to tell them.” Mum tells me.

“They were ganging up on me!” I play the victim and rest my head on her shoulder, whilst wrapping my arms around her, making her loosely wrap her arms around me.

“You were bragging that you were the favourite.” Josh calls me out.

“Hey, I just broke up with my boyfriend, cut me some slack.” I say.

“Harper that was nearly 11 months ago.” Angus deadpans.

“It still hurts.” I clutch my heart.

“God, anything to wind up your brothers.” Dad laughs and I high five him.

“Great strat right?” I laugh.

It’s been a while, it’s nearly Halloween so I decided I’d join my brother’s when they go home instead of getting wasted at some lame party I’ll barely remember in the morning this year. It’s probably better for me because I’ve been out a lot recently, and a couple weeks free of heavily drinking will do me good.

I’ve really just ignored everything and tried to get through uni. I finished my first year of university last month, and now I’m in my second year. I’ve thrown everything over my shoulder, waiting to deal with it later, and not looked back

The only time I’m open is when I’m with my therapist, and that lasts for an hour and a bit, then the next day I’m shut tight. I haven’t talked to the boy’s or girls in ages, the last I had contact with them is when I ran into Calum. I’m only talking physical.

I’ve thought about them a lot, especially one boy, but I’m waiting to deal with that later, I’m not in the right headspace to sort that out because that’s gonna take a long time, and I’m just not in the right place to do so right now.

That’s if I can ever deal with that.

It’s weird, I haven’t moved on from where I was like 8 months ago, I’ve just accumulated more pain and more clutter, and after 10 and a bit months, you would of thought I’d be able to move on, but I just can’t. I physically can’t. I’ve tried, but my heart just hurts if I try to move on. I’ve done it successfully a few times, but for a solid week and a bit after, I’m just so fucking guilty.

There was a close time where I almost called Luke. I’d went home with a guy the previous night, then the next night I was drunk and crying, and I just stared at his contact for what could’ve been minutes or hours, I’m not sure, but my thumb hovered over call for ages, and at one point I fell asleep.

I’ve been tempted to talk to the other boys, but if I need to move on from Luke, talking to his best friends isn’t gonna help much.

“Can we go now?” I whine, had enough of all this mushy stuff.

“Fine.” Dad sighs exasperated.

Last time I’d come back with my brother’s, I was still with Luke and days away from a break up. It’s weird to think that, because I had no idea at all that that was gonna happen, and it was such a shock when he told me, I almost didn’t believe him, but the way his voice cracked and the desperate tone of voice told me it was real.

It seems like a life time ago I was actually with Luke and happy, yet it only seems like yesterday.

“Can’t wait to go you to see the new arrangements, we moved things around and now it looks so much better.” My mum excitedly says.

“I’m sure it looks great mum.” I tell her.

“What she said.” Josh points at me.

“Shotgun not sitting in the middle.” I call.

“Same.” Josh calls.

“Shotgun.” Angus says.

“Hey you can’t call it, I just did.” Josh tells Angus.

“You didn’t actually say shotgun, plus I’d tone your voice down because shouting shotgun in an airport is not too wise.” Angus informs.

“It’s the rules.” I say into his ear before walking away.

“I hate you guys so much, I’m the oldest.” Josh grumbles.

“With the oldest anger problem too.” Angus teases and we high five.

Luke’s P.O.V.

“And that’s tour done!” Ashton exclaims as we step off the plane.

“It was so much fun.” Calum smiles.

“Yeah.” I agree.

“I’m so excited to be reunited with my bed.” Michael breathes a sigh of relief.

“Same, but before I do that, I’ll need to pee because I’m kinda desperate.” Calum says.

“Really Calum?” I ask.

“Yeah!”

“Why couldn’t you pee on the plane?” I question.

“Because when I flush, it sounds like I broke the plane.” He explains.

“Are your parents related?” I ask.

“No.” He shakes his head confused.

“Then why are you so stupid?” I ask.

“I was probably dropped as a baby.” He shrugs.

“And then dropped on every step on the stairs.” I mumble.

“Take that stick out your ass, Hemmings.” Michael tells me.

“Been trying to for the past 11 months.” I sigh.

“Holy fuck, how big is it?” Calum exclaims.

“It can’t be that big, he’s just being a baby.” Ashton tunes in.

“Well, you try losing someone important to you, see how you feel then.” I glare at him.

“Okay so apparently it’s a whole fucking oak forest.” Michael says.

“Just leave me alone.” I groan.

“Honestly Luke, when are you gonna get over her?“ Michael questions.

“I’m asking myself the same question.” I shake my head. “I just can’t I don’t know why, I’ve tried, I’ve tried so hard, but it doesn’t work.”

“What have you done with a girl ever since you broke up with Harper?” Calum questions.

“I hooked up with one girl last month, and it just wasn’t the same, I didn’t enjoy it, and I was out of there as soon as possible.”

“Maybe because you were so used to doing it with love, and it didn’t feel the same because it was meaningless.” Ashton suggests.

“Maybe.” I nod.

“Did you feel guilty at all.” Calum asks.

“So fucking guilty.” I answer. “It was like I was cheating on her all over again.”

“What went on with that? Like did you know it was another girl? Did you think it was Harper because you were so drunk? Did you intentionally sleep with another girl? We don’t really know what happened.” Ashton bumbards me with questions.

“I think a part of me thought it was Harper, but as it went on I noticed little things that Harper didn’t have or do or whatever. I know being drunk isn’t an excuse, but I was just so out of it, I wasn’t thinking. It just sorta happened and when I woke up in the morning, I was devastated, and I didn’t know what to do, I knew I’d have to tell her, because I couldn’t keep that in. I decided to tell her face to face, because I’m already a shitty person for sleeping with someone else, I dont want to be even shittier by not.”

“You really did fuck up.” Michael tells me.

“You think I don’t know that?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Did you know her at all?” Calum asks.

“No idea who she was.” I shake my head.

“Do you remember he name?” Ash questions.

“I can’t even remember what she looked like, let alone her name. I think she was blonde.” I try to remember.

“Did she know who you were?” Calum questions.

“I can barely remember anything of that night, how am I supposed to remember the specifics?” I sigh.

“But you remember sleeping with her?” Michael asks.

“Yeah.” I nod.

“You did actually sleep with her right? You didn’t like imagine it or something?” Calum asks.

“I defiantly did because I remember her leaving in the morning, leaving me her number. Plus, there were paparazzi pictures of me and her I think.” I answer as we get into a car.

“Oh yeah, that caused a lot of drama.” Michael laughs. “What did Harper say about those?”

“Uh, she asked me about them and I just told her she was drunk and I was helping her, she bought it because she trusted me, and look where that went – down the drain.”

***

“Luke!” My mum calls for me.

“Yeah?” I shout back.

“Come down.”

I sigh, putting on a shirt, as I walk out, because I just got out the shower. Skipping down the stairs, I go towards the kitchen where I here talking. Walking in I see Michael, Calum and Ashton.

“Hey guys?” I ask confused.

“Hi, we’re going to surprise the girls.” Michael says.

“And by girls you mean…”

“Erika and Maddie.” Ashton answers.

“Yeah not Harper because you know, she’s not in the country.” Calum explains.

“Right.” I nod. “Anything else?”

“Yeah we’re gonna be livestreaming it.” Ashton replies.

“Why?” I question.

“Because why not?” Calum tells me.

“But like, there’s no point.” I furrow my eyebrows.

“Get with the times, people love this shit, the amount of videos I’ve watched of soldiers coming home is astonishing.” Michael exclaims.

“We’re not soldiers though.” I state.

“So? People will still love it.”

“Okay, why livestream though?”

“So people can be in the moment.” Ashton encourages.

“Whatever.” I shake my head, going into the fridge.

“When are we going?” Calum asks, looking up from his phone.

“In a minute.”

Walking up Erika’s drive way, Ashton has his phone out, and we’re all a little giddy.

“So they have no idea we’re home?” I ask.

“Nope.” Ashton shakes his head.

“Who’s knocking?” Michael questions.

“I’ll do it.” Calum calls and knocks on the door.

“I hope she’s in.” I chuckle.

We hear the door make sounds and it opens, revealing Erika, and her eyes instantly widen.

“Guys!” She shrieks and instantly hugs Calum.

“Erika!” Calum mocks and wraps his arms around her torso.

“What’s going on out her- oh my God.” The voice of Maddie says.

“Maddie!” Michael grins and pulls her into a hug.

Calum lets go of Erika then she comes up towards me, and I pull her into a hug. “I missed you.” She tells me.

“Aw, I missed you too.” I smile and let go of her.

“How’ve you been?” She asks.

“Fine.” I nod, stuffing my hands into my pockets. “You?”

“Good, missed everyone like crazy.” Erika sighs. “I’ll uh speak in a minute.” She gestures towards the other boys.

“Yeah.”

“Luke!” Maddie grins.

“Hi!” I chuckle, pulling her into a quick hug. “How has it been with out your one true love?” I joke.

“Better actually.” She answers and I playfully glare at her. “Nah, your one true love is 15 minutes away.”

“What?” I ask but she walks away.

I watch Ashton say goodbye to his phone and he puts it in his pocket, a smile plastered onto his face.

“Who else at you surprising?” Erika asks.

“It’s just you, no one left, because we’re loners.” Calum laughs.

“I take it you already did Harper then?” Erika raises and eyebrow.

“What?” We question.

“Did she not tell you?” Erika asks.

“No, we haven’t spoken to her in months.” Calum shakes his head.

“Really? She didn’t tell you?” Maddie asks.

“Clearly.” Michael replies.

“Oh.” She mumbles.

“That’s unfortunate.” Erika scratches the back of her neck.

“What did she tell you?” I ask.

“Uh, she said, hi, back in Aus for a little, wanna meet up at some point? It’ll do me good to take a break from everything haha.” Erika reads from her phone, making me shake my head.

“I guess she’s officially done with us.” Ashton sighs.

“I don’t think she knows you’re here, to be honest.” Maddie states.

“Actually that’s very true, you should go over and surprise her, I can assure you she doesn’t hate you, and she won’t be mad if you surprise her.” Erika explains.

“You think?” Michael questions.

“Yeah.” She nods.

“Well next stop, Harper’s.”

*** Michael’s P.O.V.

“You know I think I’m just gonna go home, she doesn’t want to see me and I have to respect that, you carry on and I’ll just watch the stream.” Luke tells us.

“You sure?” Calum asks.

“Yeah, I’ll catch you guys later.” He gives us a sad smile.

“Alright, bye.” I wave and he waves back, then crosses the road going over to his house, which is just a few houses down.

“I’m kinda nervous.” Ashton says pulling out his phone

“Same.” I agree walking up the stairs.

“Do you think she’s in? There’s no cars on the driveway.” Calum points out.

“Ma-”

“Wait, I can hear music.” I cut Ashton off.

“You can?” Calum furrows his eyebrows.

“Yeah, listen.” I reply and we all go silent, hearing the faint sound of a piano.

“Wow that sounds really nice.” Calum comments.

“Yeah, she probably won’t be able to hear us if we knock.” Ashton states.

“Let’s go through the back, it’s always open.” Calum says making me me snicker.

“Nah, that’s not Harper.” I laugh.

“This is a sentimental moment we’re about to have!” Ashton exclaims.

We walk round, going through the gate walking up the path we meet the backdoor.

Calum opens it and the music gets louder, but now a voice runs with it, and it sounds a lot like Harper’s. We all look at each other in confusion and Ashton readjusts his phone as we make our way towards the noise.

Walking into the living room, we see Harper sat at a grand piano, her fingers moving over the keys, as her voice runs like liquid honey with the music.

I take a listen to the lyrics and they’re heart breaking.

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead. Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper. And I can’t take one more moment of this silence. The loneliness is haunting me. And the weight of the world’s getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes. Hold my breath and let it bury me. I’m not okay, and it’s not alright. Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown. Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown.

What doesn’t destroy you, leaves you broken instead. Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper. And I can’t take one more moment of this silence. The loneliness is haunting me. And the weight of the world’s getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes. Hold my breath and let it bury me. I’m not okay, and it’s not alright Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown. Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown.

‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own. (Woah oh oh oh) ‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own. (Woah oh oh oh) ‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own. (Woah oh oh oh) (‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own.)

Who will fix me now? Who will fix me now? Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown.

( https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FU5ifmugneM)

The boys and I look at each other in shock, and a little confusion. It takes years for someone to play piano like that, and I’ve known Harper for years, and I’ve not seen her play any type of instrument besides a ukulele. I knew she could sing, and she was very shy about that, but that’s all I know.

“Suprise.” Ashton cautiously says.

Harper suddenly turns around, her eyes widen and a smile grows on her face.

“What are you guys doing here?” She asks.

“Uh, enough about us, what was that, since when could you play piano?” Calum changes the subject.

“What are you guys doing here?” She repeats, making us laugh.

“Well?” I raise an eyebrow.

“We’ve gotta go, there’s a conversation ahead of us and I’ll update you later.” Ashton says to his phone.

“You were recording?” Harper questions.

“Livestreaming.” Ashton corrects.

“Oh wow.”

“So, music lady, explain.” I urge.

“Music lady?” She laughs and I nod. “Uh, I’ve been playing since I was like 10.”

“10?” We all exclaim.

“10.” She confirms.

“How come we’ve never seen you play before?” Ashton questions.

“I don’t know, it’s my own little secret, it’s not a big deal.” She shrugs.

“It’s a big deal, you’ve kept it for 9 years.” Calum tells her.

“Whatever, can we talk about this later?” Harper begs.

“Fine, but give me a hug first.”

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ryodan · 7 years

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SasuSaku

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General: yes.

How long will they last? - until they are still known for being the hottest couple at age 90

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - slow burn but the affection was all over the place

How was their first kiss? - tentative, then passionate

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Sasuke without a shadow of a doubt

Who is the best man/men? - Naruto

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Ino, Temari maybe Hinata and ten ten

Who did the most planning? - Sakura

Who stressed the most? - they both stressed a lot but Sakura was pretending to be in control to ease sasuke and sasuke pretended it wasn’t freaking him out to comfort sakura

How fancy was the ceremony? - we don’t even know but i’d say a traditional Japanese type wedding Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - if sasuke saw a bitch ass village elder he would have personally kicked them out

Sex:

Who is on top? - they kind of share that really, but i’d say while sasuke is the one on top more, Sakura can be even more dominant than he is when she wants to

Who is the one to instigate things? - an even mix, sasuke instigates the act, sakura instigates new things to try out

How healthy is their sex life? - i’d say the last option but they have a kid now so they have to tone it downBarely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - i actually hc sasuke as someone who ends up being surprisingly kinky, but I don’t think they are like straight up freaky Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - they both have crazy staminas so

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - yes, they are both generous lovers

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - sasuke is not one for lewdness in public but he does show affection No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 1 for now (thanks kishimoto u unnecessary drama loving bastard) but I hc them to have 3

How many children will they adopt? - the shin clone onions??

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - they both share the task

Who is the stricter parent? - in terms of demeanor and attitude, sasuke..in terms of safety and what to and what not to do, sakura

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - they both woke

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - they both woke..but sakura

Who is the more loved parent? - An even mix but Sarada is deffo a mama’s girl

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? since sasuke was missioning, Sakura..had that not been the case then they both would since sasuke appreciates his kids enough to bend down while he speaks to them

Who cried the most at graduation? - SAKURA..sasuke tries comforting her by talking about their kids’ future while hugging her and she just cries harder

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - sakura

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Sakura, but sasuke occasionally lends a hand

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - sasuke

Who does the grocery shopping? - sasuke, with a list written by sakura

How often do they bake desserts? - sakura bakes for hew own happiness, sasuke only eats the ones made with dark chocolate

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - i think both

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - sasuke

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - sakura

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - sasuke tried using his katon to cook once, but they don’t speak of that incident

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - sasuke hates messes and is very immaculate. Sakura is a ‘method to my madness’ type person who can be cluttered but she is still organized because she knows where everything is..when it gets too messy sasuke tidies up her mess and she gets iffy

Who is really against chores? - neither, but sakura whines sometimes and sasuke does it himself

Who cleans up after the pets? - they have a cat and cats are well behaved enough to use a litter box

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - sakura

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - sakura

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - sakura, and occasionally sasuke when she is in there too

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - they dont have a dog

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - sakura is big on decorating so the house is decorated for all holidays

What are their goals for the relationship? - break walls and reach each other

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - sakura, sasuke is too nice to wake her up (he secretly loves seeing her all zen and relaxed)

Who plays the most pranks? - sakura, and sasuke finds it ‘annoying’. Sometimes, it’s narutos idea and he pouts at both of them all day.

Thank you for sending this ask!!

#sasusaku #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha

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itsbetterthananal · 7 years

Text

a bunch of you said you would be interested in hearing about some of the things i do to take notes and study in college so i thought i’d put together a little something. i cant emphasize enough how these are just things that work for me and aren’t guaranteed to help you and im not saying these are necessarily better ways to study because i know some of you wont find these helpful to your situation but this is just my way

Note-Taking

1. Buy a 5 subject notebook. 3 subject and single subject also work but I prefer a 5 subject because then I can just have one (or 2) notebooks that I throw in my backpack every day. That way, im much less likely to forget my notebook like I would if im having to switch out notebooks every day, and I wont have disjointed notes

2. Have proper supplies for taking notes. For me, these means a pencil, a notebook, and an array of different colored highlighters. For others, pens or other utensils may help, but I find them extra. For each class i only bring a single pencil and a single highlighter (different color for each class)

3. Determine if your professor is a powerpoint kinda person (those who put most of the information in words on the slides) or a lecture kinda person (those who put few words on a slide or have no powerpoint at all). In my experience most professors will put a lot of information on the slides, but some dont.

if they do put most words on a slide, write it down in full if you can. I know they say you shouldnt write everything on a slide but if its new information it will make more sense to you written in a full sentence when you read it back while studying. If you arent given enough time to write it all down, skim for bullet points, or if you have the opportunity to go back on the slides later, make a note to come back to that section and copy it down. If you’re in a slump that day in class and have access to the powerpoint at home, listen and go back later to copy down the information you missed.

(example of writing things down in full or nearly full sentences, usually verbatim from slide)

If they dont put words on a slide, you have to do a bit more work. If the professor just puts up the headers of what theyre gonna talk about, just write down the first one before continuing. that way, you have room to put down the information under the first header. To understand when the professor is moving on to a new subject, listen out for indicating words, such as next, however, etc. start a new header. Leave an extra line or two around this section of information, as professors without information written out will often forget certain points and come back to it when they remember. If you miss any information, simply move on. Dont miss information because you’re trying to copy someone elses notes immediately.

4. Spaces and indents. Im pretty inconsistent with my spacing and indentation within my notes, but there are some rules that i follow to keep organization. When a subject changes, or I think a subject is changing as the professor goes along, skip a line and start a new section. This is usually indicated easily on a slide, but if listening listen for a new definition having nothing to do with the past information. Having chunks within the notes allows your brain to separate the information and begin chunking it, which means you will start to associate the information to do with that one subject. If you accidentally create a new chunk when the subject is the same, just indicate in the margin that it is a continuation of the subject, or a subsection. That way when you come back to it you can go aha, yes, this is actually all just one big thing of information.

Indentation is another thing im inconsistent with stylistically, but important. Always always always indent if the information is a subsection of what you are talking about, or describing the thing above it. Even if you have to indent 4 times within one chunk. this indicates to your eyes that there is information within the subject that needs to be remembered, and again your brain can begin chunking it. theres no specific type of mark i make for indentation, i consistently switch between dashes and bullet points, making sure not to use one under the other to confuse myself.

(ex. of indentation and chunking. i switch between dashes and bullet points to indicate information within information)

5. Highlighting. important to understand how, when, and where. Highlighters are my biggest helpful tool when it comes to studying. Firstly, i get a different colored highlighter for each subject, so that I dont have to get confused when going back to study on where i need to go. Then, as the lecture goes on, I highlight all the opening headers or information that I think will be of importance/what most of the examples are about. This is easy when professors have words bolded in their powerpoints, but sometimes you have to be more active in listening if the professor doesnt use a powerpoint. you can always go back to highlight stuff, so dont go overboard. If you are unsure on whether something or not should be highlighted, wait and highlight whats important later once the professor has gone over the information. The reason i do this is so when im going back to study, my eye will immediately be drawn to information that I need to know and understand, rather than being overwhelmed by a whole page of text or cluttered examples with no indicators. Dont worry too much about going overboard with the highlighter at this point, sometimes you feel like long sentences are meant to be important and can highlight the whole thing. This will be fixed when you come back around to study. Please note that other tools such as colored pens or underlining can be used for this but highlighters work better for me, underlining makes more clutter.

(ex. of using highlighter to draw the eye to things of importance. This was important in my statistics class because theres a lot of cluttered numbers and examples in my statistics notes that ended up not being important but just classwork)

6. You gotta pay attention. even if that means you gotta take breaks. sometimes in class you’re burnt out and cant fathom even writing stuff down. just listening will never do you any harm. sometimes I have to check social media for a few minutes before tuning back into the lecture just to give my brain a second to breathe. videos are a good time to do this. try your best to find a way to concentrate for the most amount of time. that doesnt mean you have to concentrate the entire time. many times in class i have stopped taking notes and just listened while playing games on my phone, because sometimes thats what you need. but try your best not to unfocus from whats being talked about. Better to have 80% of the information received by your brain and let 20% not make its way through than to half ass it and only have some of the information stored.

Studying

1. Find your prime studying environment. This could be in silence (the library), with some background noise, with tons of noise, with music, outside, or any other kind of environment. Where you study and under what conditions make a difference in how well you proceed. For me, my prime study environment is either in silence or with some background noise, but i absolutely cannot focus if people are extremely loud or there is music playing. I often will sit at the desk in my room with an old lets play playing in the background, similar to leaving the tv on something you dont really care for. This keeps my brain from getting completely bored and burnt out, which can happen when im studying in silence. Pick a place where you know someone wont come up to distract you. we all know our brains will do anything to get out of studying

2. Have another smaller notebook/section dedicated to studying. A lot of my studying involves rewriting information. you will need some sheets of paper, and having a notebook or a section of a notebook will help you not forget your stuff when you go out to study. I usually will just use a single notebook or a section of a notebook that was not filled up from the previous semester.

3. Condensing. a.k.a the actual studying part. Condensing involves taking the information you wrote down in your notes and condensing it down into much smaller chunks. By doing this, you are forcing your brain to a) reread over the information, b) determine what from that information is important and connected to your chunk, and c) rewrite the information in a way that is better understood by you. This starts by rereading the first chunk of information and writing down the subject and key words/phrases from the sentences you wrote. Basically instead of writing “when first observing a crime scene, the first responder must be attentive to all details of the home inside and out. they must also be careful to not to contaminate any possible evidence that may be there” you write “observe scene - attentive, dont contam”. Its the same information, just condensed, and since you already read the full sentence to get the words, the condensed bullet point makes sense to you. This is where you take those highlighted parts of your notes and break them down to their basic information. Also, if an area of text isnt highlighted, more than likely the information in there is extra and wont necessarily be in the test. Better to concentrate on what you /know/ will be important because the professor bolded it on the presentation, and leave those areas unless you know you are certain you know the skeleton of the subject.

(an ex. of condensing information. this put about 5 pages of notes into one page. highlighter while studying is optional because it can get messy and cluttered, but i continue to highlight each term/section i need to know just to reemphasize it in my brain)

this can get messy if you’re not careful. Keep the indentation from your original notes. arrows are a great way to show a progression of steps or information in a short manner. If you dont understand something or are missing a bit of information, put a question mark next to it in your study guide to indicate you either need to go back to your notes or ask a professor/google what tf is going on there.

This is a lot of work. it is time consuming. you have to rewrite a lot of stuff. sometimes you may not be able to condense all your notes before an exam. Sometimes you may only get through a few pages before quitting. thats okay. even doing this for some of the info you learned can help you learn it a little better. when rereading the information it can go in one ear and out the other but rewriting the information forces you to focus on it.

4. Diagrams. usually best in science related classes for me, and often provided in a powerpoint slide. I use diagrams and drawings frequently in my biology notes to make sense of something. For instance, when I was in my cell biology class, I drew out the processes of the citric acid cycle rather than just writing the progression in bullet points, because it helped me understand what was going on with all the chemicals and such. Drawings of processes can help you envision the process which can help recall when it comes to tests

(ex. of a diagram that was provided in my human factors psychology class. placing information like this can help those who are picture oriented when it comes to learning)

5. Allow yourself breaks. after youve been going for a while your brain can whine and go no more!!! so go get some food. or take a shower. or watch a yt video. or check your social media. your mental health should not be ignored. plan certain times to study in the future and stick with them. after 15 minutes come back and see if you can still focus. sometimes a quick break is all you need. offer yourself an award if you get through a certain amount. after finishing studying for my midterms i would always go and buy myself a starbucks frappucino.

thats about it really. I hope some of these tips can help some people. for me condensing and rewriting has gotten me all A’s for the past 3 semesters. your brain loves some solid chunks of information. feel free to reblog for reference if youd like! and let me know if you want me to make more education related posts

#mine

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enchantrixx · 7 years

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Too late...

There was blood and a lot of it. It was all he could feel all he could see other than those soft blue eyes staring back at him. “Why… why did it have to be Prompto…” Noctis said in shaken words with tears clouding his vision. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Prompto was strong but Ardyn was stronger, he took Prompto and twisted him changed him… to what he was meant to be and pitted him against Noctis. But Prompto was indeed strong enough, strong enough to take himself out… in order to save Noctis. “I was too late… too late.. I’m so sorry.. I shouldve-” Noctis was interrupted by a weak and weary Prompto. “Dont.. don’t Noct… this wasn’t you, none of it wa-” he coughed up a spout of blood then continued “none of it… was your fault.. take back insomnia and claim your kingdom buddy… go..” Noctis couldn’t leave him not like this, not if this may be the last time he saw him. “I cant.. I won’t.. Prompt.. I need you please… don’t-” Noctis was interrupted by an aggressive pull at the back of his shirt. He was being dragged by Gladio. “Gladio?! Let go of me! I won’t leave him! LET ME GO!!!” Noctis shouted struggling within Gladios grip. As much as he shouted and squirmed Gladio kept dragging and remained silent. Noctis could see Ignis taking his place beside Prompto. But before he could see what he was doing Gladio dragged him through the doors in the Zegnautus and into the elevator. “PROMPTO!” Noctis screamed finally breaking free of Gladios grasp. He lunged for the door only for it to block his way in a matter of seconds. They were now headed for the crystal without Ignis and without.. Prompto. Noctis dug his fingers into the sides of his scalp, tears streaming down his face. He was shaking, head throbbing, heart pounding seething with rage and filled with sadness. Noctis sprang to his feet and shoved Gladio against the elevator walls. Gladio pushed back with no hesitation. “You need to learn that we are here to protect you! We will sacrifice ourselves if it means you live! You know Prompto felt the same!” He said with passion. “I get it alright! But I never asked for any of this I never wanted any of this and now Prompto is suffering for… for me.. and he may not….” Noctis choked on his words with heavy sobs and a heavy heart he fell to his knees. Gladio placed a tender hand upon his shoulder and knelt down to speak to the King. “… he told you to retake your kingdom and that is exactly what you’ll do… if those are Promptos last words.. wouldn’t you want to make them true..?” Last words, Noctis shuddered at the thought. Prompto meant everything to him, even more than saving this shit hole of a world they lived in. But he won’t let him down, no matter the cost. Noctis raised his head slowly and said “I’ll do it… even if he doesn’t.. make it.. I’ll.. I’ll do it..” Gladio pulled Noct to his feet as the elevator had finally arrived only for the duo to be greeted by a horde of daemons. “Noct, listen and listen good go for the crystal if you can successfully gain it then this will be over I can easily hold them off for you to run.” Noctis had already tested Gladio once and he wouldn’t again, he knew if he were successful all of this would be over so he pulled himself together and sprinted for the crystals location. He tried to put Prompto and the others out of his mind but it was all too much for him so he just ran with a cluttered mind and a broken heart for the one thing that could bring this world back. Finally there it was the crystal, Noctis could feel it’s power emanating and coursing through every fiber of his being like it was calling out to him so he stepped closer. “Please help me seal away the darkness and daemons to save this world” Noctis pleaded, but suddenly he felt a force that had no touch pulling him into the crystal. He was actually being sucked inside! Noctis struggled and fought, pulled and squirmed but it was not use. Then, as if from no where, he heard that same familiar poetic voice. “Ahhh, Noct it seems you have fallen into a quite unsettling disposition.” Ardyn. He knew. He knew all along that this would happen. He planned this, all of it. As Noctis was slowly being pulled further and further into the crystals mass all he could think about was Prompto. How he failed him, how he failed everyone. How he- “NOCT!” a panicked yell intervened the chaos. That voice I’ve heard it before… that voice. Noctis got one last look around and all he saw was Prompto upright and alive almost close enough he could grab him. But just a little too late. He was gone. Prompto was devastated, crushed, and beyond broken. Ten years went by after Noct had vanished within the crystal. Those ten years dragged on like a millennial of years. His heart had hardened and his trust in others diminished. Prompto wasn’t himself anymore, without Noct he felt as if the fire inside him had died. He spent most of his days slaughtering daemons and trying to track down Ardyn. He always had a spark of hope that Noctis may come back but.. how. It had been ten years since Noctis disappeared the world had changed but only for the worse. Gladio and Ignis were constantly reaching out to Prompto but to no avail most of the time. When they did find a way to meet, Prompto acted as if nothing had happened. But within the silent gaps of conversation his face went back to the same cold look that marred it the day Noctis disappeared. Prompto decided on his own one day that he’d meet up with his companions once more just to see their faces and remind him of simpler times. Their chat at Hammerhead was casual and quiet, well as casual as it could get in the world in which they now lived. Things like “how is Iris doing?” “Any news on Ardyn” or “Is Lestallum still stocked up with ample supplies?”. Prompto grew tired of the nonchalant talk between his friends faster than he expected. “Hey uh.. I’m gonna grab a quick drink I’ll be back.” Ignis and Gladio dismissed him easily with minor looks of concern. Prompto made his way towards the cafe when suddenly clouds of darkness smoldering on the distant plains began to form. With the hop of a fence and the cover of night he went on his way to cram in some daemon killing. This night had reminded him of Noctis when he was once around. But instead of soothe his mind it simply mangled it, he wanted all of this to be over. So he lashed into battle, guns blazing and shots fired. Daemons gathered more and more in numbers to pursue the small blonde but he kept fighting. Taking down daemons by the hand full to blur his tattered mind. He could feel the pain inside him burning and wishing he could see Noct one more time. He feels tears stream down his face as the final daemon falls to the ground. Prompto dropped his guns to look at his bloodied hands. He clenched his fists and winced while tears dropped upon his worn down gloves. “I’m sorry Noct.. I.. I was too late.. I’m so sorry…” he remembers how close he was to Noct when he slipped right out of reach and into the crystal. He remembers his smile and how he used to joke, laugh, and sleep even. He remembers it all and it only heightens the pain. Then a rigid yet meaningful voice from behind him fills Promptos ears. “I’m the one who is too late…” Promptos eyes widen and his heart practically stops. Has he finally lost his mind? He is overwhelmed with the fear that if he turns around to greet this voice it will be nothing but disappointment. He’s shaking tremendously and he’s breathing so fast he feels like he could pass out. Prompto in a shaken shock slowly coils his head around to look behind him. “N-noct…?” Prompto manages to utter his name but he can’t believe his eyes. Noct is actually standing only a few feet away from him. But he isn’t satisfied with that, he needs to feel that he’s real. He needs to hear that his heart is beating, that he can actually reach out and grab him without fail. Prompto bolts as fast as his legs can carry him towards Noctis and pummels him to the ground. “Noct!!!!!” Prompto yells collapsing on top of Noctis. “Oof! Haha… hey Prompto… sorry I’m late.” Noctis replies soundly while wrapping his arms around Prompto. All Prompto can do is cry into Nocts chest and hold him as tight as he can. He’s real and he’s actually here. Prompto lifts his head to reveal his tear filled eyes and messy blonde hair. “You.. you’re damn right you’re late buddy!” Prompto exclaims wrapping his arms around Noct once more. He finally got his fire back, his light, his Noctis was back, and he realized that it’s never really too late.

#prompto noctis #prompto argentum #noctis lucis caelum #ffxv #ff15 #final fantasy 15 #final fantasy xv #promptis #prompto is so adorable #prompto is the best #prince noctis #chocohoes

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: 9th December 2018

Geez, today was a busy week. Before we talk about the top 10, however, let’s just get the massive elephants out of the way.

CHRISTMAS NONSENSE

It’s the festive season and one way people celebrate the holidays is by listening to its music – usually, Christmas music, of course, and since I review all returning entries that I haven’t talked about yet, sigh... There are seven of these so I’m going to go as quick as possible, but just bear with me throughout this section because I really don’t like Christmas music all that much. Let’s just get it over with.

#39 – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Brenda Lee

This is “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, a song written by Johnny Marks and released in 1958 in the US, being left on the shelf for four years until its release in the UK in 1962. In 1963, it peaked at number-six and has since re-entered due to digital downloads, with one of its highest recent peaks being number-seven last year. It’s pretty inoffensive rockabilly, with some nice very-50s guitar licks coming in throughout, and some decently-sounding production, but really it’s not anything of internet until that sax solo. That solo is freaking gorgeous, and I’m glad it’s there, because otherwise this would just kind of fall to the wayside. Not sure I like Lee’s voice on here, it comes off as a bit nasal, but it’s not a big deal. It’s alright, I guess. I expected to say RIP here since she was popular such a long time ago, but no, she’s still alive and kicking. Good for her.

#36 – “Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens

Now this is where it all breaks down into dread. This song by Shakin’ Stevens is Godawful, mostly because of how painfully manufactured the whole thing is. It’s overproduced Christmas music that is just jolly feelings and nothing else. Those horns that kick in after the first verse are pretty cool, but Stevens doesn’t sound great here – or at least I can’t tell because he’s drowned in reverb – and the choir might as well be a computer for all I care. Also, the sax solo was cool the first time in Brenda Lee’s track, but here it’s just trite, especially when you add those shooby-doo-wops over it. This track was initially the Christmas number-one for 1985, and I understand why, but does it really have to come back every year since 2007 – for over 60 weeks in total? Oh, it peaked last year at #10 too. Let’s hope this upwards trend doesn’t continue.

#35 – “Santa Tell Me” – Ariana Grande

Now for a more recent one from arguably the biggest popstar in the world right now, with her 2014 song that actually failed to chart in the Top 40 initially until last year at #29, and that’s its peak so far... whilst I’ve never been a fan of the cleaner, refined Ariana Grande records, I do have a soft spot for this one. That melody is infectious and the sleigh bells complement the synth bass in a way I didn’t think they would, and it’s not like the drums are all that overpowering here, although a trap skitter would have worked better here (yeah, I know, not something I say often). It’s surprisingly romantic and sensual for a song with Santa in the title, actually, although it’s about men who have wronged her. Anyway, Ariana kills it but what else do you expect from a song from her at this point? It’s a good track, although the final chorus with the choir is really cluttered, just saying, it’s messy.

#30 – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” – Michael Bublé

This here is Michael Bublé’s cover of traditional Christmas classic written in 1951 by Meredith Wilson, and it’s not great. Obviously, I mean, it’s Michael Bublé, ever since “Haven’t Met You Yet” he’s been utterly useless seasonal radio fodder. Bublé never really sounds bad but he never sounds interesting, and this production isn’t doing him any favours. It’s sickly sweet strings and brass for the most part, with some piano added in there for good measure, after what seems to be way too long of just airy synth, string and guitar noise – that’s really out of place, guys, why is this on the single edit? Ah, what else to say? Oh, right, nothing.

#26 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid

Oh, I know it’s Christmas time, alright, this song won’t let me forget it. I could ramble on about how preachy and awful this charity single is but other people have done it better. I just have four short things to say – 1.) this was the most popular song in the UK of the entire 80s. Yikes. 2.) This is the worst thing the Boomtown Rats have had any involvement in. They’re such a great band, hell so are Culture Club. How do Boy George, the Boomtown Rats, Ultravox, Phil Collins, U2, Kool & the Gang, Sting and Duran Duran make something this awful? They’re all absolutely fantastic musicians in their own right. 3.) That synth that kicks in after a while is pretty ugly, not gonna lie, and is unfitting for the condescending Christmas charity single angle they’re going for here – mostly because that’s what it really is. 4.) We’ve remade and reissued and re-entered this song too many times. Let it go, Britain. Please. We’re begging you. It’s for a good cause, and I appreciate how much money it’s raised, but it’s also garbage.

#18 – “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl

They use the word because it was the 80s, it’s not meant to mean homosexual and it’s not used in that context – albeit still a negative one – and the climate of Ireland, especially the Celtic punk scene, wasn’t exactly going to care about dropping that slur in their Christmas single. It should still be censored, though, I mean, black rappers saying the N-word is morally okay, but we still mute those, right? Anyway, this is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. It starts with a beautifully elegant piano melody, with the lead singer of the Pogues, Shane MacGowan, mumbling his way through his verse, but instead of people like Future or Lil Baby, there’s still a lot of sincerity there, I feel, and a lot of soul is put into expressing the lyrics here in the raspy tone that I absolutely love. I’m not going to talk much about the story here mostly because I’m not going to go in-depth, but it’s about a typical love story going awry at some point due to a betrayal. Oh, and the moment the Celtic traditional instruments come in is one of the best moments in music – ever. Kirsty MacColl sounds so lovely here, and the harmonisations in the chorus are fantastic. That flute solo is gorgeous, and the juxtaposition between “you’re a bum, you’re a punk, you’re an old s--- on junk, lying there almost dead as a drip on that bed” and the cheerful instrumental is just hilarious to me, especially since right after “Happy Christmas your a---, I thank God it’s our last” is immediately followed by the bombastic drunk sing-a-long chorus. The third verse is also such a great back-and-forth, man, I can’t even bring to words how much I admire and adore this piece of music. This is the best song I think I’ve ever talked about on this show, by far, but it could have easily not been close if “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders returned this week. We’ll just hope for next week, I guess. Rest in peace to Kirsty MacColl, gone much too young.

#14 – “Last Christmas” – WHAM!

Finally, we have our last Christmas song for this week’s holiday REVIEWING THE CHARTS special. It’s an anti-climactic end, to be honest, because I’m pretty indifferent to this song. It’s pretty 80s, to be fair, so I’ve got to like some of the cheesy falsetto vocalisations from the late George Michael at the start, as well as those repetitive synths that keep themselves from sounding awful by having those sleigh bells and pretty damn nice keys covering them. That chorus is iconic, but the rest of the lyrics are just forgettable. Honestly, it’s a good background song and it’s a well-written, catchy pop track with Michael putting in some good vocals throughout, but, it’s nothing special. Nothing but respect to George Michael, though, rest in peace, he’s a pop legend over here.

Christmas Conclusion

The best Christmas song on the charts right now is easily “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, but an Honourable Mention goes to Mariah Carey for “All I Want for Christmas is You”. Yup, that’s still here, we’ll get to that in a second. Worst of the Week goes to Band Aid for “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” You should be ashamed, Bob. Dishonourable Mention is going to Shakin’ Stevens for “Merry Christmas Everyone”. Other Christmas songs you should check out are “Christmas in Harlem” by Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and CyHi tha Prynce featuring Musiq Soulchild (heck, check out the longer version if you wish), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders, “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” by Tyler, the Creator and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” by DMX. Yes, those last two actually exist. Now, this Christmas section has taken longer and is longer to read than about half of my normal episodes, so I think we should get straight into...

Top 10

Well, this all feels a bit more familiar. “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is still at the top of the charts five weeks in, and it doesn’t really seem to have much competition.

Ava Max, however, is making a surprise run for the top, up four spots to number-two, with “Sweet but Psycho”. I wouldn’t exactly be complaining if this hit the top either.

“Without Me” by Halsey is up a spot to number-three.

We have a new entry from the most recent X Factor winner, Dalton Harris, with a cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Christmas classic “The Power of Love”, featuring James Arthur. I guess awful Christmas songs aren’t going away for that long, huh? Obviously this is Dalton’s first top 10, and Arthur’s fifth.

“Thursday” by Jess Glynne is down two spaces to number-three.

Up a whopping 28 spaces this week to number-six is, you guessed it, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”. This isn’t its first top 10 turn, and it’s not its peak, but still impressive to reach here nonetheless.

This means “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is down five spaces to number-seven.

“Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie has actually gained nine spaces, surprisingly, and to my dismay, to number-eight, becoming Arthur’s sixth and Anne-Marie’s fifth.

Oh, and if you wanted even worse news, up an even larger 29 spaces is “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez, becoming both their first (and hopefully for 6ix9ine, only) top 10 hit at number-nine. I like the song, but I don’t like Tekashi, to say the least.

We have another new entry at #10 this week with “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus. This is Ronson’s sixth top 10 hit and Cyrus’ fourth (yeah, I thought she had more too).

Now, instead of separating what happened on the charts into Dropouts, Climbers, Returning Entries, Fallers and such, let’s separate into two sections: “What Survived” and “What Suffered”.

What Survived

What survived means essentially everything that still managed to chart this week, and I’m actually surprised by how much power some of these songs have. Going in reverse order, I have no idea how “Arms Around You” by XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee and Maluma managed to cling on despite a 17-space fall to #40. “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down 16 to #38, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong is down four to #37, “Empty Space” by James Arthur is down 10 to #34 (why did James Arthur of all people have the strength to stay during the avalanche?), “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is down eight to #33, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is down 27 to #32 (considering both streaming cuts and Christmas bloodbath), “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker has returned to #31 for some reason, “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish is down seven to #28 (again, surprised this one’s still here), “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is down eight to #27, “1999” by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is down 11 to #24, “Polaroid” by James Blue, Liam Payne and Lennon Stella is down 11 to #23, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is down eight to #22, “Better” by Khalid is down five to #20, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down seven to #16, as is “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset right next to it at #15, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is down five to #12, and everything else that’s currently charting is either simply not notable (a drop or climb less than four spaces), in the top 10, a new arrival, a Christmas re-entry or in the top 10. Jesus. Now, what’s gone?

What Suffered

This is a little nicer name for what’s dropped out in the absolute onslaught of Christmas music and new arrivals (all returning and new entries this week total to 12 songs that weren’t on the chart before). This week was an absolute bloodbath, and these are the murder victims. Former #1 “Shotgun” by George Ezra is out from #30, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #28, “AirForce” by Digdat is out from the #20 debut, “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is out prematurely from #27, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is out again from #36, another former #1 “Eastside” by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is out from #31, “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is out from #32, “I Found You” by benny blanco and Calvin Harris is out from #29, “MIA” by Bad Bunny featuring Drake is out from #35, “Always Remember Us this Way” by Lady Gaga is out from #39, “Goodbye” by Jason Derulo and David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Willy William is out from #40 and finally, “Back and Forth” by MK, Jonas Blue and Becky Hill is out from #37. I’d say it’s time to move onto the New Arrivals – but before, I’d like to say that the BBC redesigned their UK Top 40 page, and it looks pretty cool. Anyways:

NEW ARRIVALS

#29 – “MAMA” – 6ix9ine featuring Kanye West and Nicki Minaj

Of course, DUMMY BOY only had a stunted tracking week last week, so we have the effects of the album this week. This is 6ix9ine’s third top 40 hit in the UK, Nicki Minaj’s thirty-seventh (yeah, I know, it’s insane), and Ye’s even crazier forty-third, and to be honest, it’s inoffensive, which is something I’d never thought I’d say about a 6ix9ine song, but, hey, it is what it is. Murda Beatz’s production is pretty cool for what it is, and I do like the eerie synth loop. 6ix9ine’s delivery is lazy and boring – and I still think we shouldn’t let rappers say they kick women out of doors – but he doesn’t last long so when Kanye comes in with that “man, oh my God” refrain it gets so much better. I’m so used to Kanye West’s pop-culture rambling, social media criticism/obsession, somehow relating to women nonsense he brings to nearly every single verse he does recently that I’m used to it, it’s just something I’ve heard before delivered relatively comedically. Nicki’s refrain and verse actually has some work put into it, unlike the dudes’ bars, so yeah, I appreciate that, although her delivery and cadence is exhaustingly blunt and straightforward, to the point where it’s just kind of tiring. There’s some decent wordplay there, I guess. This is okay enough, and pretty much top-tier Tekashi to be honest. “KANGA” also featuring Ye is even better, though.

#17 – “Going Bad” – Meek Mill featuring Drake

Meek Mill and Drake working together is something I expected to happen anyway. Meek and Drake have seemingly squashed their beef and have relaxed after the “Back to Back” situation and their popular 2015/2016 beef that revealed a lot about Drake, specifically his ghostwriting from Quentin Miller, and eventually stressed Meek’s relationship with Nicki enough for them to break up as a result. Oh, and you better believe they mention “back to back” because of course they do, it’s the only funny wordplay they can conjure up, apparently. This is Meek Mill’s first ever top 40 hit in the UK (congratulations) and in stark contrast, Drake’s forty-fifth (yes, even more than Kanye), and his thirteenth just this year (probably and hopefully his last), and it’s mediocre. I didn’t know what to expect because I’ve never really cared enough about Meek to listen to him, but an out-of-tune piano absolutely demolished by some bass while Drake spouts off with stuff like “I got more slaps than the Beatles” isn’t exactly the best first impression. Is there a chorus here, or not? I can’t tell, everything’s just kind of the same until the ad-lib break that’s long enough for Genius to count it as an entirely different section of the song than in Meek’s verse. It was “Interlude” when I looked but it might be “Post-Chorus” now. Yeah, it should be clear I don’t care enough about this song. I do like Drake’s delivery in the hook, though, it’s pretty energetic, but not enough to save it.

#10 – “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” – Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus

So, yeah, I like this. It starts with some beautiful strings right before Miley Cyrus fades in with her country twang that I’m starting to really appreciate, and those guitars come in to complement her and the deeper bass that I like the addition of, it really contrasts the otherwise pretty light production, that seems to be dramatic but kind of unfitting for the lyrical content about how the world can hurt you but heartbreak is the worst possible thing, because despite the beat’s melodrama it’s too upbeat to really work here, I feel. Ah, well, the hook is pretty memorable, and the orchestral stings is just one little barely-noticeable production quirk that I can talk about, seriously, Mark Ronson puts so much effort into crafting these songs over the years, it’s pretty great. It may be a bit too repetitive and slow for my taste, but, yeah, I can dig this. Good song, just not much to say about it.

#4 – “The Power of Love” – Dalton Harris featuring James Arthur

The girl gets Leona Lewis, the Scouse dude gets Kaiser Chiefs, yet the WINNER gets James Arthur?! Really, James Arthur? Poor dude. You must know you’re an amazingly talented singer when you get James Arthur put on your song and you still make a surprisingly decent winner’s single, hell, even win in the first place. Arthur is such an awful vacuum of talent, I was scared Harris would be affected by this but no, even with my half-bothering with the show this year I can tell he’s been consistently great, and he’s definitely not bad on here either, although the production has no unique charm to it and is just plastic Syco production as you expect, with James Arthur bringing an above-average performance (this means still pretty bad) with his moaning and straining that just pains me to listen to. Seriously, James, let’s have a cactus-to-man talk and let me teach you how to not sound like my dead cat who just popped some Xanax.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week goes to Dalton Harris and James Arthur for “The Power of Love” – at least “Going Bad” has some energy and legitimate soul to it, although Meek Mill and Drake still get Dishonourable Mention. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus take Best of the Week home for “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”, and hell Kanye and Nicki made “MAMA” bearable enough for them and 6ix9ine to get Honourable Mentions. See ya next week, where we’ll probably see a few more Christmas songs. Delightful.

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