#closest to a date she might ever get lol
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it'll be ok | LN4
lando norris x female!reader
warnings: unexpected pregnancy, talk of throwing up/being nauseous, suggestive actions implied if you get what i’m saying, early on pregnancy symptoms, mention of alcohol and being drunk (not the reader!!), lando being a simp for his girlfriend in every aspect of his life.
note: i know how pregnancy works and i’m not saying that reader got pregnant on this trip, her and lando are just h**ny 😭 (increased sex drive is a symptom of pregnancy though so..…)
double note: i’m not sure how lily (oscar’s lily) is as a person but she seems like a sweetheart so i went off those vibes and i referred to alexandra by her full name cause if i said alex, someone might think alex albon lol
okay thats it. enjoy 😉
word count: a little over 5k
masterlist | taglist
You and Lando had been dating now for close to 2 years. You were happy with the life you were making with him and he was happy to have you by his side through his success.
Everything was going great, at least it was up until 5 minutes ago. Now here you were sitting in the bathroom to the villa you had rented out for a vacation with friends, holding a pregnancy test not sure what to do with the fact that there were two lines looking back at you.
48 Hours Before Finding Out
“Omg this is so much more prettier than the pictures” you said as you, Lando and some of your closest friends which included some of the other drivers and their girlfriends, walked into the villa
“This is gonna be great” Lando exclaimed excitedly while wrapping an arm around your waist “Alright everyone get their rooms sorted and when you’re done, meet down by the beach” he told everyone, earning a round of “okays” and “sounds goods”.
You and Lando made your way to the master suite on the second floor, seeing as you had been the ones to suggest the vacation and rent the villa, it was only fair you got the biggest room.
“Lan I don’t know which bathing suit to wear” you asked as you stared at the bathing suits you had brought.
“Doesn’t matter to me, either way it’ll end up on the floor later” he whispered in your ear as he came up behind you
You blushed at his flirty remark “You’re naughty” you joked with him
“Only for you” he reiterated as he put his hands on your hips and started kissing your neck
“Lan if we start doing that, we’re never gonna leave” you tried being serious even though the shudder in your voice gave you away, telling Lando he was succeeding in distracting you.
This happened quite frequently. Lando knew you so well and he made you feel things, none of your previous boyfriends had ever made you feel.
He continued kissing your neck, knowing exactly where to put his lips. You felt yourself giving in with the way he was kissing you and how his hands were slowly moving down from your hips, you knew you wouldn’t be making it to the beach anytime soon.
-
You and Lando eventually left your room, joining your friends on the beach.
“Where the hell were you two” Max asked as he sat on a beach chair with everyone else doing their own thing
“Y/N needed help picking a bathing suit” Lando responded smirking, knowing Max wouldn’t believe him but also knew he wouldn’t push for the truth, he was smart enough to put two and two together.
“Babe I’m gonna go in the water, care to join?” Lando asked turning to you as your hands were interlocked
“No I’m okay for now, I’m gonna try and tan a bit then I’ll come join you” you told him, he smiled at your answer and then gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and started making his way towards the water to join the friends of yours that were currently playing water volleyball.
You spent the rest of your day in between tanning with the girls and playing in the water with Lando. Once everyone was done with the sun, you all made your way back to the house where you went to your perspective rooms to rest a little before you went out for dinner.
You felt extra tired which on any other day you might be more concerned about but you had been travelling between time zones and then spent a significant amount of time in the sun, so in your head it made sense to be this tired.
Once you had changed from your bathing suit into some clean undies and a oversized T-shirt, you crashed on yours and Lando’s bed where he was already sitting scrolling on his phone
“Lan im gonna take a quick nap, wake me up in like an hour so I can start getting ready” you told him as you curled into a ball nuzzling your face into the pillows
“Sure thing sweets” he said leaning down to kiss your head before going back to his phone, keeping one hand free to play with your hair knowing that always helped put you to sleep.
-
Lando stayed true to his word and gently woke you up about an hour into your nap, not wanting to, seeing as you looked so peaceful but knowing you’d be upset if he let you sleep longer than you wanted.
“Babe” he said gently stroking his hand over your cheek
“Hmm” you mumbled still half asleep
“You wanted me to wake you so you could start to get ready” he told you smiling at how cute you looked
“Why are you a good boyfriend and actually listen to what I say” you grumbled
He chuckled “C’mon we can take a shower together, that’ll wake you up” he suggested knowing you’d get what he was implying
You opened one eye looking at him to see if he was joking but knew he wasn’t when you saw the look in his eyes, this got you to open both eyes and slowly stretch, waking up fully in the process
“Alright pretty boy let’s go” you said as you got off the bed causing a laugh to leave Lando as he got off the bed, following you into the bathroom.
-
Once everyone including you and Lando were ready, you decided to visit a cute Italian restaurant nearby. Everyone in the group all loved Italian so it worked out perfectly.
While you were walking to the restaurant, you felt a slight squeeze in your stomach but chalked it up to that all you had to eat today was some fruit and a small salad.
Lately your appetite hadn’t been what it normally was, you pushed this thought aside though wanting to enjoy your vacation and deciding you’d worry about it once you got back home.
After some walking you reached the restaurant, Charles taking point and speaking to the hostess in Italian to get a table. They brought you to the part of the restaurant that was more private and made sure there were enough seats for everyone.
The host got you all menus and water, letting you know your server would be there momentarily.
You politely smiled at her and offered her thanks in Italian, you may have loved everything Italian but your knowledge of the language didn’t go past basic phrases and words.
You sat next to Lando and Lily, Oscars girlfriend. The two of you had gotten close with your boyfriends being teammates. You felt that squeeze in your stomach again, this time more intense so you casually reached for your water and hoped it would help.
Once you had drank enough water to feel better, you went back to look at your menu
“Baby are you okay? You just practically chugged your water” Lando asked quietly turning to you
You nodded “Yeah, I'm good, I just didn’t realize how thirsty I was” you lied offering him a smile, he seemed to believe you and went back to the menu, Lily however offered you a strange look, having overheard your words and not fully believing you but deciding not to push.
You could still feel that slight squeeze in your stomach and was apprehensive to order a large meal so you went for a simple soup, figuring it was the safest option.
When everyone’s food arrived, you caught a whiff of the food around you and suddenly that squeeze in your stomach was becoming too much to handle. You didn’t want to bring attention to yourself but if you didn’t go to the washroom now, you weren’t sure what would happen so you turned to Lily.
“Lils I need your help” you whispered to the girl who had just taken a bite of her food
“Is everything okay? You look pale” she asked concerned
“I’m gonna throw up and desperately need to get away from the table” you explained trying to stuff the nausea down until you were somewhere else
“Say no more” the girl said then turned to Oscar letting him know she was using the washroom, he smiled and moved out of the booth, luckily he was on the end
“Y/N will you come with?” She asked, acting like the washroom was her idea and just wanted a friend to accompany her
Your name sparked Lando’s interest and turned to face you
“Babe I’ll be back im just gonna go to the washroom with Lily” you told him quickly before getting out of the booth, offering Oscar a small smile to say sorry for interrupting his meal
Then you and Lily made your way to the washroom, as much as you would’ve preferred to run there, you didn’t want to seem weird so you casually bit your lip and hoped you could get there in time.
“Girls are so strange in always wanting someone with them to go to the washroom” Lando said to Oscar eating his food
Oscar just shrugged “I’m used to it at this point” he replied to his friend and teammate before both drivers went back to their previous conversation with the others around them.
Meanwhile in the washroom, you were in a stall on your knees with your head over the toilet. Luckily Lily was there to hold back your hair and rub your back.
“Are you okay? Did you eat something you shouldn’t have?” She asked after you were done and had stood up, using some tissues to wipe your mouth
“I didn’t have anything weird to eat, just some fruit and a small salad” you told her as you fixed your hair and did your best to get the taste of vomit out of your mouth. Remembering you had gum in your purse and silently saying a prayer to your past self for putting it there.
“That’s strange” she said even though you could sense there was more the girl wanted to say but held back
“I don’t know how I'm gonna get through dinner. The smell of everything is what triggered this” you told her turning to her
“Maybe just tell Lando you aren’t feeling the greatest and are gonna walk back to the Villa” she suggested
“He wont let me go alone, he’ll want to join me and I don’t want to take him away from everyone” you explained
“I’ll go back with you. I’ll just tell Oscar to bring my food home in a to go box” she offered
“Are you sure Lils?” You asked the girl, feeling bad
“That’s what friends are for” she smiled
“Okay, let’s go then” you told her
-
When you made your way back to the table, Lando looked at you, you could see there was some concern behind his eyes probably because of how long you had been in the washroom
You slid in the booth to tell him you and Lily were gonna head back
“I’m just not feeling super great and don’t want to take you away from everyone so Lily’s gonna walk back with me” you explained to him
“Are you okay? What are you feeling? I’ll walk back with you, I don’t mind” he told you the concern only worsening
“Babe I'm fine, really, I'm sure a good nights rest is all I need and then tomorrow I’ll be good” you reassured him, offering him a small smile
“Okay but text me if you need anything or want me to come back” he told you which you nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before getting out of the booth and walking to the exit with Lily.
“Where’s Lily and Y/N going?” Charles asked
“Y/N’s not feeling the great so they’re going back to the villa” Lando answered him
Charles nodded then went back to talking to his girlfriend, Alexandra.
Lando shared a look with Oscar as both of their girlfriends had left them
“Did Lily say anything?” Lando asked Oscar as they moved closer now that there was some space between them
“No, just that she was going back with Y/N” he told him. He could see Lando was worried “I’m sure she’ll be fine and Lily will text if anything happens” Oscar did his best to reassure the Brit. Lando just nodded and silently went back to his food.
-
24 Hours Before Finding Out
The next day, you had woken up and luckily you didn’t feel any feelings of nausea, hopefully that was an indicator that today was going to be different from yesterday and you could enjoy your trip.
You got out of bed and made your way to the kitchen, you had a strange craving for orange juice which wasn’t normally your go to breakfast drink but you weren’t mad about it, seeing as the orange juice in the fridge was freshly squeezed.
You smiled when you poured yourself a tall glass and went to sit on the patio furniture outside enjoying the beautiful view.
You pulled your phone out, scrolling through TikTok. You tried to avoid TikTok because most of the time you’d see videos of your boyfriend or any sort of f1 content but today you gave it a chance.
So far it was going great until you saw a video of this creator explaining their battle with cancer and how they were finally in remission. You felt the tears gathering in your eyes but figured it was just your hormones and you being a sensitive person.
Then you moved from TikTok to Instagram and saw a post about puppy adoptions and suddenly you couldn’t hold the tears back and that’s how Lando found you, crying over your phone
“Babe what’s wrong?” He asked instantly pulling the chair next to you, rubbing your back
“These puppies, they’re all up for adoption” you told him, showing him the rescue centre’s instagram highlighting all the dogs they had up for adoption.
Lando found you the cutest for crying over dogs “Why are you crying though?” he asked still rubbing your back
You shrugged, wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeve “I don’t know, they just all look so cute and I want them to find their forever homes” you tried to explain why you were crying, even if you didn’t fully understand why.
“You’re adorable” he smiled at you “How about when we get back, we can try and organize an adoption event with the centre, I’m sure the attention from an f1 driver should help” he suggested.
He would do anything to see you smile even if that meant having to talk with his PR manager about organizing a puppy adoption event sponsored by McLaren.
The idea brought a smile to your face and you sniffled “Thats really sweet of you Lan” you told him
“We’ll get all those dogs adopted” you leaned over giving your boyfriend a hug. The tears had subsided which Lando was grateful for, he hated seeing you cry.
He hugged you back, kissing the top of your head “Anything for you sweets” he reassured you.
-
After your moment, you and Lando joined the rest of your friends inside. You all enjoyed a nice breakfast together, then once the dishes were dealt with, you all went your own ways, everyone wanting to do something different.
You and Lando planned to go take some pictures around the area. That was one of the things that drew you two to each other, both having a passion for photography.
On your first date, you spent so much time sharing pictures and the stories that went with them so when you started dating, it became something you did together, whenever you could.
You were walking up to your room when Kika called your name. You turned looking in the direction of where your name had come, seeing Kika sticking her head out of her and Pierre’s room.
“Whats up? Is everything okay?” you asked as you approached their room.
“Yeah, I just was wondering if you had a tampon or a pad, I got my period and just realized I didn’t bring anything” she chuckled
“Oh yeah, I have tampons in my room. I’ll bring you a few to get you through until you can go to a local store” you told the girl, she smiled at you “Thank you, youre an angel”
You just smiled and then turned walking to your room, going straight to the washroom, to look through your toiletries bag. As you looked at the mini travel sized bag you brought filled with tampons, it hit you, you had never gotten your period.
You were supposed to get it right before the trip and the last few days of your period should’ve been the first couple days you were away but as you got ready for vacation, you still hadn’t gotten it which was why you brought a weeks worth figuring you’d end up getting it on the trip but you still hadn’t gotten it and that sparked a fear within you.
You quickly grabbed a few for Kika and closed the bag. As you turned to leave the washroom, you bumped into Lando “Oh sorry babe” you told him, you must’ve seemed frazzled judging by the expression Lando offered you
“Are you okay?” he asked “Oh yeah, just need to give something to Kika” you told him hiding the tampons behind your back.
Obviously Lando knew what a period was, having a mother, 2 sisters and a girlfriend, he was used to it and had they been for you, you wouldn’t have cared but you didn’t want to make Kika uncomfortable so you with held those details from him.
“Oh okay..well I’m ready to go whenever you want to go take some photos” he told you, offering you his typical Lando smile. You smiled, leaning up to kiss his lips “I can be ready in a few minutes” you told him once you pulled away.
Then moved around him, being sure he couldn’t see what was behind your back before leaving the room, walking to Kika’s. You knocked on the door, she answered almost immediately “You’re my lifesaver. I owe you” she told you once you handed her the tampons.
“Really glad you said that, I need you to get me something from the store whenever you go” you told her biting your bottom lip, something you did when you were nervous
“What’s up?” she asked
“Can you get me a couple pregnancy tests” you whispered, not wanting anyone to hear. Kika’s eyes grew in size “Woah, really?” she confirmed, you just nodded, not saying anything.
“Yeah of course. Want me to leave them in your suitcase while you’re out?” she offered
“That’d be great. Thank you” you told her
“Do you really think you’re” she started before gesturing to your stomach instead of saying the word
“Honestly I’m not too sure, it didn’t cross my mind until moments ago when I realized I missed my period” you explained, she nodded along
“Well you aren’t alone regardless of the results. We’re all here for you” she reassured you, you smiled at her words.
“Thanks Kika, I appreciate that” you told her “Anyways I should go and get ready, Lan and I are going to take some photos around the area, I’ll see you later” you told her offering her a goodbye before walking back to yours and Lando’s room.
You quickly changed into something clean, washed your face, tied your hair into a high ponytail and then slipped on your converse to go meet Lando downstairs.
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-
You and Lando ended up having an awesome time. You walked around and took plenty of photos. Yours were of the area, some of the locals, some of Lando, a good variety meanwhile Lando’s were mostly of you.
He called you his muse the first time you asked him why he took so many pictures of you but by now you had grown used to it and didn’t question it.
In the midst of walking around, you had grabbed a quick bite to eat at a cute cafe. You went with a fruit parfait and water, figuring it was the safest option not wanting to risk being sick.
After being out for a couple hours, you eventually made your way back to the villa. When you got back, you got a text from Kika after passing her in the kitchen.
Kika: ‘They’re in your suitcase, under a pile of bathing suits’
You quickly texted her back
Y/N: ‘Thank you. Now I owe you’
Kika: ‘If you end up having a girl, name her Francisca 😌’
You laughed, not answering her but rather hearting the message then going to find the tests.
When you walked into your room, you heard Lando in the washroom, so you checked your suitcase to double check where they were and then once you had confirmation, covered them back up.
You had plans with everyone to go out tonight so you wouldn’t be able to test until tomorrow. You weren’t sure how you were gonna avoid drinking tonight.
It’s not as if you were a heavy drinker, you just enjoyed doing shots while you were out and you could handle your alcohol well so nights out never phased you.
Tonight however to be cautious incase you were pregnant you had to avoid alcohol.
You sighed, so far this trip you had spent more time stressed out then relaxed and you weren’t sure how much more you could handle before you exploded from the uncertainty.
You heard Lando finishing in the washroom so you quickly grabbed an outfit from your suitcase before shutting it.
“I thought you were gonna join me in the shower” Lando said when he walked out, his curls wet from the water
“Sorry my love, I took too long trying to figure out what to wear” you lied, offering him a soft smile
“It’s okay, I can think of a couple ways you can make it up to me” he winked at you, you blushed.
“Your cheeky” you told him smiling as he laughed at your comment.
You quickly got yourself ready and then you made your way downstairs with Lando to meet everyone else. Once everyone was ready to go, you made your way to the local club.
On the way, Kika linked her arm with yours and walked a bit up from the boys.
“Did you test?” She asked in a low tone, you subtly shook your head
“I need your help tonight avoiding alcohol” you replied keeping your voice low
She nodded “Don’t worry, we’ll get you a mocktail at the bar and you can either sip on it through the evening or keep going back for the same one. Then with shots, we’ll tell the bartender to give you water” she explained still keeping her voice low, you offered her a small smile
“I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here. You and Lily have both been the best” you exclaimed, Kika just smiled and gave you a side hug
“That’s what friends do” she told you.
-
Once you got to the club, Kika went to get your drinks and made sure to tell the bartender the plan. The bartender was a female and without even having to explain why, somehow she understood and told Kika to always give you the shot with a rounder base.
So far everything had been going smoothly and once people became more intoxicated, it was easier to let loose and not keep up the show as much as you had been.
Surprisingly you were having a great time sober, just getting to dance with everyone and enjoy being with your friends, this was exactly what you needed and it took your mind off what you had to do tomorrow.
Currently you were dancing with Lando, his hands were on your waist and you could smell the alcohol on his breath. It didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would.
“Babyyyyy” he said into your ear due to the loud music
“Yes Lan?” You asked laughing at your boyfriends behaviour
“I love youuu” he told you stretching out the you. You smiled at him
“I know. I love you too” you told him running a hand through his curls, he closed his eyes enjoying the feeling
“Can we go back to our place, I just want to be alone with you” he told you, pulling you closer and nuzzling his face in your neck, breathing in your perfume.
“What about our friends?” You asked him, even though you knew they’d be fine and you wouldn’t mind alone time with Lando
“They’ll be fine” he said as he started kissing your neck, you shuddered a bit at the sensation.
“Don’t start doing that here or we won’t be able to stop” you told him even though you didn’t want him to stop
“I don’t want to stop” he said pulling his lips away to answer you before leaning down and kissing you.
You felt yourself getting weaker in the knees. This was the effect Lando had on you.
“Okay fine, let’s leave then” you said in between breaths, he smiled and then grabbed your hand, intertwining his with yours and carefully made his way to the door.
“Where are you going?” Kika asked as you passed her and Pierre
“Back to the Villa. See you later, stay safe” you told her quickly offering a wave over your shoulder
She chuckled “Children having a child” she muttered under her breath
“What did you just say?” Pierre asked his girlfriend
Kika didn’t think he had heard with the music “Nothing” she quickly said
“No I swear you said” he started but she stopped him before he could finish.
“Pierre just drop it for now. Please” she asked. The look they shared said enough. He nodded and then they went back to dancing.
She hoped he wouldn’t say anything further on the topic, her boyfriend had a tendency to spread gossip even if it wasn’t always intentional but hopefully this time, he’d keep it to himself.
Back at the Villa, you and Lando were having a great time and took advantage of the empty house, getting to be loud as you pleased. If you weren’t already pregnant, there’s a good possibility after tonight, you might’ve been.
-
Moments Before Finding Out
The next morning, you woke up wrapped in the duvet and Lando. You smiled at how peaceful he looked. Then you remembered what you had to do and suddenly you felt the nerves creep back up on you.
You sighed and carefully got out of bed, being sure not to wake Lando. Thankfully he was a heavy sleeper when he had been drinking.
You crept over to your suitcase, finding the pregnancy tests and taking them to the washroom. You had googled that testing in the morning was the best time so that’s what you were doing.
You locked the door and then opened the first box. Taking the test and sitting on the toilet. You quickly peed on the stick and then placed it back on the counter, on top of a piece of toilet paper. You finished up and then pulled your sleep shorts back up and set the timer on your phone. Sitting on the edge of the toilet.
You closed your eyes trying your best to keep your breathing steady. Everything would be fine. Lando loved you and even if this was unexpected, he wouldn’t leave you, at least you didn’t think he would, he wasn’t like that. You did some more deep breaths until your timer went off and you quickly silenced it not wanting to wake up Lando.
You shakily stood up from the toilet and with your shaking hands, reached for the test and that’s when you saw, the two lines looking up at you, indicating you were pregnant.
-
After Finding Out
After the first positive, you had to do the other 3 tests to be sure and of course those all came back positive. You put them back in one of the boxes and just stood there in shock.
You were pregnant. You were going to be a mom and Lando was going to be a dad. You wanted to cry but you also knew once you started you wouldn’t be able to stop.
You weren’t sure how long you stayed in the washroom until you heard Lando call your name, you knew you had to tell him now or else you’d drive yourself mad keeping it in.
You opened the door and made your way back to the bed. Seeing Lando sitting up rubbing his eyes, he must’ve just woken up.
“Lan, I need to tell you something” you told him biting your lip due to your nerves. He looked confused
“Is everything okay? Did something happen?” He asked as you made your way to sit next to him. You sat with your feet tucked under you
You reached for his hand “Nothing happened” you reassured him then took a deep breath before continuing
“I’m pregnant” you told him trying to keep your voice steady and calm not wanting to show your nerves, already knowing Lando would have plenty of his own.
“Sorry but I think I heard you incorrectly; did you say pregnant?” He asked rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
You nodded your head, not sure what was going through his mind at the moment. You sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime, the longer the more nervous you got.
Lan was never speechless and this scared you “Lan please say something” you said, feeling yourself wanting to cry even more now
He must’ve sensed you were on the verge of tears “Baby I'm sorry, come here” he said opening his arms which you gladly accepted and buried your head in his chest, the tears finally leaving.
“It’s unexpected but it’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out together” he said rubbing your back “I love you and there’s no one else I’d want to have children with, I just thought it’d be a bit further down the road but this is okay. Baby’s are a good thing regardless of when they come” he told you.
You pulled away, wiping your eyes “So you aren’t gonna leave?” You asked as you hiccuped
“Not a chance. You’re stuck with me for life now” he told you smiling. You returned the smile finally feeling better.
You and Lando spent the rest of the morning cuddled up, talking about your baby, what you thought they’d look like, how they’d act, if they were a boy or a girl.
At some point you must’ve started to drift off cause you found yourself cuddled up next to Lando as he played with your hair, subconsciously your hand found its place on your stomach and Lando kissed your head.
He loved you and would do anything for you and now that meant your baby as well. The two of you were his world and he planned on spending the rest of his life making sure you both knew how much he loved you both.
-
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AH! I hope you all enjoyed this <3 I had such a fun time writing it and I'm proud of how it turned out! Im always open to feedback so please share your thoughts !
#ssprayberrythings talks#ssprayberrythings x formula one#lando norris#lando norris x reader#f1 x reader#f1#f1 smau#x reader#f1 imagine#ln4#lando norris smau#lando x reader#ln4 x reader#imagines#ln4 fluff
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Ok so I have a bit of a strange idea, so hear me out.
MtF Sevika and reader both with a breeding kink, BUT accidental pregnancy? Whether this takes place in modern au or in the show, and obviously their kid will still be little fucker. Just kinda a funny thought of Sevika and reader being shocked that they’re suddenly expecting a child, especially if they had talked about having a child in the future but not planning for one at the moment if you kinda get the idea. Like Sevika telling reader she’ll breed her and weeks later is actually shocked that she actually gets reader pregnant lol
delicious
men and minors dni
it's not that you guys don't want kids, it's just... never really come up.
you've been married for a year. you suppose this is when most couples would typically start thinking about kids anyways. but... neither of you ever even considered it.
you were both under the impression that you getting pregnant was impossible. sevika's been on estrogen for years, her sperm count is basically zero. and you've been fucking unprotected since you started dating-- never had any pregnancy scares.
but this morning you woke up feeling... weird.
and when sevika came home from the grocery store with a box of pads for you, you realized that you were a week late.
when sevika had left to go to the gym, you sprinted to the closest pharmacy and back home. and now you're here, on your toilet, staring down at a little plus sign.
you scoff. "what the fuck?" you whisper at the test in your hand, bewildered.
...maybe you shouldn't be surprised. with the way you and sevika are always fucking, this has been a long time coming. hah, coming.
you chuckle at your own joke, then burst into tears.
sevika finds you on the toilet an hour later, still shaking with intermittent laughs and cries.
"baby?" she asks, running to your side. "what's going on?" she asks.
you just sniffle, and reveal what you're holding to your wife.
she blinks at it, her face blank. you gulp.
"i promise it's yours?" you try to joke. sevika's eyes snap up at you, and for a second you think she might be angry.
then she bursts into laughter.
you relax immediately, melting into her arms as she gathers you up into a hug.
"i fucking did it!" she laughs. you snort into her neck.
"that's not funny--"
"baby-- i've been tryin' to knock you up since our first date--"
"--we didn't fuck on our fir--"
"--and it finally worked!" she squeals. you pull your face away from her chest to blink up at her. she's grinning, vibrating in her skin, breathing like she'd just run a marathon. there are tears in her eyes, and she looks at you with so much love that it nearly blinds you.
before you know what's happening, sevika scoops you up into her arms and marches you to the bedroom. you burst into laughter in her arms.
she sets you down gently, then jumps on top of you, peppering you with kisses. "fuck, you're pregnant, baby. with our baby. holy fuck."
"y-you're okay with it?" you whimper.
sevika freezes, looking more shocked at your question than she did at the pregnancy test. "sweetheart, what do you mea--"
"it's not just kinky dirty talk, sev!" you cut her off, all the panic in your veins finally finding a release. you start to blubber beneath her, overwhelmed, and she re-adjusts until she's holding you to her chest. "it's a kid! i don't-- that-- sevika, i honestly always believed me gettin' pregnant from your dick was just as likely as you gettin' pregnant from mine!" you cry.
she chuckles, kissing up your tears and rubbing circles in your back. "there've been a few times i thought you might've succeeded, y'know." she mumbles. you let out a half-laugh, half-cry, and she continues. "'specially that time you tried that thick blue one out on me for the first time, you remember that night, baby?" she asks.
you groan, in no mood to be distracted by dirty memories but flustered by the reminder nonetheless. sevika kisses your head again.
"c'mon, babe. you never thought about havin' a little kid runnin' around the house with us?" she asks, nuzzling your scalp with her nose.
"course i have." you whisper. "usually when you're cummin' inside me, though."
she laughs. "well, think about it now. and whatever you decide-- whatever, baby-- i'm gonna support you." she promises.
you relax in her arms, breathing in her scent. you know this. sevika'd follow you off a cliff.
"tell me what you think about." you request. "about this imaginary kid of ours runnin' around your head."
you can feel her lips curl into a smile on your scalp. "well... completely hypothetically..." she murmurs, her hand not so subtly travling up your leg to rub small circles on your stomach. you snort. "i think about what they'd look like. i hope they'd have your pretty eyes. that smile of yours." she whispers. "all the little clothes they'd have to wear. gettin' to watch you breastfeed." she says this last part salaciously. you giggle against her. "i think about, y'know, when they're older. readin' to them at bedtime. makin' 'em pancakes every sunday. fuck, getting to curl up around her in this bed with you on the other side..." she trails off.
it's quiet for a few seconds, your smile growing wider by the moment as you picture your wife's words. something warm flops over in your stomach, and you know it's too early to feel anything but it doesn't stop your heart from skipping a beat.
"you said her, on that last one." you mumble after a minute.
"hmm?" sevika asks.
"'y said 'gettin' to curl up around her'." you repeat her words back to her.
sevika just chuckles. "just a hunch." she says. you pull away to look up at her. she grins.
"if i have this one, you have to have the next one." you say.
sevika barks a laugh, and swoops down to kiss you. "deal." she mumbles against your lips.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676
#sevika#sevika imagine#sevika arcane#sevika x reader#sevika x you#soft sevika#this wasn't super smutty but it was sweet so i hope that makes up for it hehehe
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BEFORE I LET GO | 2.2K
OCT 5TH: AGE GAP
kinktober masterlist
♡ toji fushiguro x fem! reader
relationships are hard enough when there are no stakes, but it’s even harder when you’re dating your best friend’s father. you never expected things to get more difficult than that, but when you only have 24 hours before you’re on the other side of the world, you can’t help but wonder if such a relationship can even last.
♡ warnings/tags! toji is like early 40’s here and the reader is like early 20’s, toji is megumi’s dad, reader is studying abroad, public sex, sex in the woods lol, unprotected sex, fingering, kinda angsty but not toooo bad
“C’mon, relax.”
Your eyes are still stuck to the car floor, nails lightly scraping your skin as your boyfriend's words kind of wash over you. Tomorrow, you'll be miles away from him for what feels like forever, and it's all you can think about. You try to hold off on the waterworks until you're on the plane or, better yet, not in the same room as Toji, but the reality of being apart hits you hard.
Trying is pointless now, so you give up. You chew your lip as hot tears silently make their way down your cheeks, and you attempt to distract your mind. Your stomach's in knots, your head's pounding from all the stress you've been wrestling with. God, you weren't prepared for this. Breathing feels like a neverending chore, and you’re fucking sick of it. Feels like you’ve been on a rollercoaster and you might vomit any minute now. Just when you're lost in that sensation, Toji's fingers on your thigh draw you back until you’re focused on him.
He stole a glance at your pitiful state and scowled. “You’re gonna make yourself sick. Stop.”
He's shattered, just like you. Despite his efforts to hold it together and keep you grounded, there's something in you that senses he's crumbling on the inside. You nod, letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm sorry," you groan, smacking your palm against your forehead a few times. "I’m just scared. I'm so damn scared, Toji, I don't know what to do."
You remember being so excited when the topic of studying abroad first came to your mind. Having been sheltered most of your life, you figured it was time to get out there and go a little wild once you graduated, but you never expected to fall in love along the way.
Especially not with your best friend’s father.
Right now, you should be with him. Both of you should be smoking in his room and flipping through pictures of you both in middle school, but instead, you’re with his fucking father. It’s almost sick to you how big of a secret you’ve been keeping from your closest companion, but you knew it’d kill him if he ever found out about your relationship—and it’s not like you blamed him either. If you’d been close to someone for this long and you found out she was fucking your father, you know you’d raise hell so this was no difference.
“Tell me what’s on your mind, baby,” he said, cutting the silence with his deep voice. “Just tell me what’s going on up there, pretty girl.” He kept his eyes on the road, steering with one hand while the other stayed solid on your thigh. For as long as you’ve known the man, he’s always been a stoic man who never had an issue with staying calm, but the grip he had on the wheel was a new side of him.
After a while, you spoke with a meek and broken voice. "I just... God, I don't want to leave you. You understand that, right?" You gazed out of the window, watching as Toji navigated through a path in the dark forests of your city. It was the last time you'd be able to visit your spot for a few years. "And Megumi, too. I feel like such a bitch for what I'm doing to him, Toji. I shouldn't... we shouldn't be doing this."
He just stayed silent, pulling into a parking area not too deep in the forest. Once he stopped the car, he breathed out a heavy sigh before hanging his head for a minute to think, retracting his large hand from your thigh. “Fuck, I know. I know how you feel, I do,” Toji started, shutting his eyes tight. “I know because I feel the same. But there’s nothing wrong with you falling in love with someone, is there? Father or not, it shouldn’t matter.”
“Maybe, but you know how this looks for us…” You looked into his dark green eyes, the shining jade pigment sending a wave of relief through your tired body. The vibrant hue held a deep, almost mystical quality, reminiscent of emeralds bathed in sunlight. Flecks of darker green and hints of gold danced within, creating an intricate pattern that seemed to shift with every blink. He’s so fucking beautiful. You couldn’t begin to comprehend just how much you’d miss seeing him every night. How much you’d miss sneaking around and kissing those beautiful scarred lips. There was nothing okay with falling in love with your best friend’s dad, but you couldn’t help it. You never asked for this.
Toji nodded, his gaze focused on you. “I know, but let's not dwell on this anymore,” he murmured, his hand gently squeezing your arm. “Tonight, I just want us to be together peacefully, okay? We can tackle the tough stuff another time.” With that, he left the car, walking over to your size to let you out as well.
Your last night together.
The least you could do was let it be peaceful. The walk to your favorite river was painfully slow, consisting of you trudging behind Toji and dragging your feet almost slothfully. The only light illuminating your path was the soft glow of the moon, making it a little difficult to find your way in the beginning but you soon found yourself standing in front of a steep river. Memories of your first night here with Toji resurfaced, causing a small grin to twitch on your face. It was a night for a lot of firsts. Your first kiss, your first time… it was an easier time.
Everything seemed so simple then.
Toji sat by the river, stretching his legs until his shoes nearly touched the dark, glowing water. He glanced up at you, observing as you settled down beside him, crossing your legs. A soft sigh escaped you as you gazed ahead, tuning in to the gentle flow of the water. You yearned to be like the river—serene, a graceful body of water simply existing peacefully. No struggles or worries, just living.
“Fuck, baby,” Toji finally groaned, playfully bumping his shoulder into yours. “I’m gonna miss you so much. You better call me every day,” he demanded, a small grin stretching on his lips despite the inner turmoil he was still feeling. No matter how lonely he’d be without you, all he wanted was for you to achieve the dream you’d been thinking about for years now. It was time for you to break free from the cocoon your parents had trapped you in and live a little.
“You better not start getting too friendly with other girls,” you teased, narrowing your eyes at him. At that, Toji laughed hard before smashing his lips against your soft ones. He let out a gentle noise, his hand reaching to squeeze your waist before he hesitantly pulled away.
“Doesn’t matter if you’re gone for two years or two decades. You know you’re not gettin’ rid of me that easily.” He clasped your hand, giving it a tight squeeze before pressing it gently to his lips, his rough scar grazing your skin. Regardless of the complexities in your relationship, the thought of living without him was unimaginable. He wasn't just Megumi's father anymore; he belonged to you. The distance of the ocean couldn't alter that.
“Besides,” he continued, pulling you into his lap. “We’ll always have holidays, won’t we? This isn’t over. We aren’t over.” His lips were on you moments after, moving in a slow but messy harmony. Small grunts escaped you both as his tongue forced itself into your mouth, tangling with yours. Strings of saliva began escaping, dripping down your chin and neck - but you didn’t care. You couldn’t. It would be like a million eternities before you were able to feel him against you like this again.
Finally, you pulled away, your bottom lip glossy with his saliva as you panted softly. Tomorrow, you’d be in a place making your way across the ocean for two whole years.
You only had tonight.
“Right here, Toji,” you started, quickly pulling your shirt over your head before you finished explaining. “Need you right now. We don’t have long, so just… just take me now,” you rushed, pressing kisses to his neck and lips.
You lay down on the grass, pushing your skirt up to expose your black panties, body aching for his gentle touch. Toji wasted no time in getting your panties down to your ankles and then to the ground, his thick fingers pressing against your clit. He sighed, dragging the tip of his middle and ring finger through your slick folds, starting from your clit and then down to your entrance.
Slowly, he eased those fingers inside, burying them as deep as he could before pulling them out, witnessing how soaked you were. “I bet she’s gonna miss me the most, huh?” He asked rhetorically before slowly thrusting his slick-coated digits into your heated depths, listening for every moan and whimper you blessed his ears with.
“Yeah… don’t know what I’m gonna do without your tongue or fingers,” you rasped, rolling your hips as he pumped his hand inside, moving down to lick and kiss your sensitive neck. He continues moving against your bumpy walls, his darkened eyes watching you in the moonlight. You were always such a wreck for him and so easily too.
His fingers suddenly curled his fingers upwards, pressing into that spongy spot that you both loved so much. With trembling legs, you began subconsciously attempting to close your thighs but he wouldn’t allow it. It was embarrassing hearing your own soaked pussy being fingered and it was showing too. Your cheeks and body felt even hotter now, making you turn your head away from him. Your back arched off the ground as you began twitching around him, a wave of heat filling your lower abdomen as you began to get closer.
Closer…
“Oh, no,” Toji teased with a chuckle as he quickly retracted his soaked digits, sucking your juices from them without caring about how dirty the action was. “When you cum, I wanna feel it.”
You pouted, perching yourself on your elbows. “Asshole.”
Toji only smirked, unzipping his black jeans slowly before pulling his hardened cock out. He hissed from the feeling of his fingers on his neglected cock, squeezing his length in an attempt to replicate how you’d feel around him. It was almost too much now; The ache between your legs, the tears still threatening to fall from your eyes, and the way your boyfriend felt as he began sliding inside of you
He groaned, bottoming out against your cervix with practiced ease. His cock was throbbing inside of you, making it difficult for you to not cum on the spot. His hands found their way to your hips, his nails sinking into your skin as he began thrusting inside. He dragged his cock against your soaked walls, setting a slow, but deep pace. Embarrassment is clear on your features from the way your body reacts to him so perfectly. Like even your body knows you are his now and forever. He pulled out almost completely before pushing back in, intoxicated by the sounds of your moans. “Oh, baby, fuck,” he whispered with a rough voice as he threw his head back, pounding into your abused cunt even harder. “You feel so fuckin’ good… gonna miss this pussy so much.”
The sound of his hips meeting yours made him twitch inside of you again. “But she’s all mine, right? This cunt,” he rasped, emphasizing his words by pulling out and thrusting into you roughly. “belongs to me. Say it.”
“All yours, Toji. Don’t want anyone else,” you cried out into his neck as his fingers pinched your sensitive clit, dragging a loud moan from the depths of your throat.
“There you go, pretty girl. Give it to me. Show me how much that pretty pussy belongs to me,” he praised, taking your button between his fingers as he stroked it, coaxing an orgasm from you. It wasn’t long before his heavy balls were tight and sensitive, revealing how ready he was to finally pump his seed inside of you.
With a loud moan, you came hard around his cock, your pussy tightening on him so much, you almost pushed him out. His eyebrows furrowed as he focused on his own orgasm, basking in the way you gripped his cock like your pussy couldn’t possibly live without it ‐ like you were fucking made to be fucked by his cock. He thrust inside of you a few more times, his strokes lazy and uncoordinated as he finally spilled his hot, white liquid all over your bumpy walls.
“Making a mess all over my cock,” he growled, burying himself to your hilt before pulling out, denying you the feeling of fullness. He collapsed beside you, both of you panting, sweating messes. There was nothing scarier than losing the one man you truly loved, but if your relationship was meant to be, you knew it’d last. “Such a good girl…”You turned your head to look at his barely visible state with a gentle smile.
Everything would be okay because you were his and he was yours.
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#jjk hcs#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#toji fushiguro#toji headcanons#toji hcs#toji fushiguro hcs#toji fushiguro headcanons#kinktober#kinktober masterlist
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hand holding hcs !!
ft. genshin guys + gn!reader
includes: ayato, gorou, venti, kazuha, heizou, tighnari, dainsleif.
one, two, three.
cw: fluff, established relationship, some parts might be longer than others, alcohol mentions in venti's, a bit suggestive in venti's if you squint, i can't write tighnari to save my life, spoilers in dain's (?) and mostly very full of speculation:')
A/N: THIS TOOK SO LONG.. BUT HERE IT IS LOL. i might not be doing anything this long w this many characters ever again :')) maybe the third part as the last and thats it lol. ANYWAY SORRY!!! I HAD THE WORST WRITERS BLOCK EVERR AND I BEGAN CLASS AGAIN :((
AYATO
either the king of hand holding or the worst one on the list.
choose your fighter.
his hands are SOOO soft. he hasn't picked up a single sword without gloves since was like, five.
or anything, for that matter
also slender, bony and long fingers?? really pretty nails??
phew rich kids i swear
as stated before, he can be super sweet and intimate, intertwining your fingers with care
or he'll practically drag you by your wrist. not even in a mean way just,,
yeah
he probably has no idea what he's doing. he has no reference on what to do or on how to behave aside from the cheesy romance novels ayaka likes to read.
no parents or parent-like figures in his life, and (i assume) barely any physical affection with his sister, as much as they love each other.
that's why he craves it in some way. probably
PDA is not for him. at all.
he's a very private person who dislikes public appearances
so holding hands while walking around the city would happen every once in a blue moon.
HOWEVER!!!
it's cool if you're alone
more than cool, in fact
he likes it a lot. when he has free time he takes you in quiet dates throughout inazuma's nature
in those moments he sometimes moves your hand to his lips and kisses the knuckles <33
it's so gentle and sweet, and sometimes he'll whisper praises too
"you're so precious, my love."
UGHH blushing and giggling and kicking my feet in the air rn
and oh god poor thoma. they guy is always the one to find you two.
"my lord, an officer is waiting to..." he trails off after seeing you in his lap while he worked on paperwork, his free hand stroking yours. you giddily wave to him as a greeting, and he returns the gesture with a nod and a friendly smile of his own. "...right. i'll tell him to come back later. sorry for the interruption!"
you two are lucky he's so used to it.
unfortunately, he's not always the one who catches you.
if your footsteps are soft and your ears are open, you can hear some of the maids gossip about you two.
"oh, they're so lovely! did you hear the rumours?" "about the picnic? yeah! mei told me they were cuddling! can you picture that?" "yeah! lord kamisato's totally smitten!"
it always makes you smile.
as inexperienced as he was when it came to physical affection, he was the first one to hold your hand.
ayaka had told him that "it would give you butterflies".
you BET she was right like-
a fish out of the water is the closest comparison of how your heart was pounding
although inexperienced, ayato is a natural-born romantic. he's sitting in front of you in some expensive restaurant, candles and roses and a private room (just for you two of you, just like he likes it). he's as nervous as you, if not more. this is your first official date!
remembering what ayaka said, his right hand approached yours, in a slightly shy way. "may i?" he murmurs, brushing his digits over yours.
"sure!" you answer, voice meek and an octave higher than usual.
he finds your enthusiasm funny
in a good way
in conclusion, he's not as slick as he'd like to be lol
half the estate has seen you two. the other half is patiently waiting their turn.
over time, he gets more used to it. no more dragging you, no more grasp that's barely there, just,, a normal hold.
a sweet one tho<3
GOROU
physical touch is not his love language
but he doesn't dislike it!! he'll do it if you're into it!!
he's really soft about it and you can see his tail wagging happily hehshdhdhsjsj<3
he's a very assertive man and a good (but somehow strict?) general, so his subordinates never get used to see you two interact ESPECIALLY when it comes to affection
gorou: *has your hand in his*
troops passing by: *😲*
you change him i'm telling you
he's pretty good at separating his work and personal life, so expect the affection to be more common in private
hand holding is not his forte nor his preferred way of showing physical affection, but he'll still get flustered from it
"the supplies are to be sent to the sangonomiya shrine. that is our main objective right now." he says, voice stern. his body, however, betrays him once you reach out to grab his hand. his ears flop immediately and his tail swings rapidly from side to side, cheeks starting to turn pink. you can't help but giggle when his eyes flicker between you and his subordinates, full of nerves.
"we saw nothing, sir," one of them says, clearly biting back a smile. "your orders will be followed immediately." he bows and leaves hurriedly.
they still talk about that to this day.
his hands are average size. not super tiny, but definitely smaller than ayato's or dainsleif's (side note: just noticed this applies to every guy in this post except those two and pantalone lmao).
his palms are a bit rough and he has some scratches here and there, but he makes sure his nails are clean and decent.
hald holding with him (ironically enough) isn't that common
you were the one to do it for the first time.
you guys weren't even dating (yet) and you were pinning hard
so after bribing some of his underlings with cookies, you managed to get them to do part of his work (and also get him to relax for an afternoon)
((with you, or course.))
(((the soldiers knew their boss had been crusing on you for centuries, so it was a win-win situation for them)))
sitting on a cliff, watching the scenery. beautiful pastel tones mixed with the pink hue of the sky in the sunset. he was next to you, eyes set on the horizon somehow looking unfocused. the golden light adorned his beautiful features, and you wanted nothing more than to embrace him and never let go.
you knew, however, that you had to be careful. you could've chosen the safest option and shut your mouth, like you always did. but no, not today.
with that in mind, you slowly place you palm in his hand. his ears immediatelly perk up as he looks at you, not bothering to pull away.
"i like you. a lot. and, uh, i'm just happy i can be here with you." you cough out in the spur of the moment. his eyes widen like coins and his tail straightens. he chokes a bit with his words, coming up with nothing to say.
it was a it awkward, really. you had your eyes fixed in the place your skin touched with his, refusing to adress his burning stare. regret filled your gut, and you tried to pull away, ready to stand up and go home to cry under the covers.
but a hand grasping your wrist stops you.
he looks like a deer in headlights, eyes gleaming and face redder than ever.
five words come out of his mouth, faster than any others he has ever muttered:
"are you free on sunday?"
VENTI
ah, venti...
he'd use handcuffs to chain you two together if he could.
he is very much a PDA guy. has no shame.
worth it tho because his hands are illegally soft. like cotton.
and his fingers are slender and delicate.
oh and there was no special "first time holding hands!!! exciting!!!!" moment
because guess who got touchy right after figuring his feelings out?
you guessed it! him!!
he snaked an arm around your waist, holding you close, and intertwined your fingers with his. it would have been romantic (and kinda hot, even) if it wasn't for the fact that the poor, poor honorary knight had to physically separate him from you so he would go home already.
"oh, love, one has never seen such beauty. never in thousands of years has a flowery field or a sunset in the ocean compared to your endless eyes." he recites close to your neck, hot breath fanning on your skin making a shiver run down your spine. aside from the fact that you have literally no idea what he means by thousands of years, his lidded orbs boring into yours don't help. "i would become a sailor if it meant that i could spend my life navigating in the ocean of your eyes. would you let me drown in them?"
"i don't get paid enough for this." the blonde mutters, secretly envying the fact that paimon was already sleeping.
"me neither." you say in return with an awkward laugh, wishing that the darkness covered your blush.
he gets a bit poetic after a couple of bottles, what can i say.
diluc always stares at you when you have to go pick him up from the tavern
you swear that's pity flooding his usually soulless eyes
you have the anemo archon wrapped around your finger
quite the accomplishment, if you were to ask me
he's all over you. especially (but not exclusively) when he's tipsy, or (god forbid) drunk.
oh yeah baby
DRUNK.
he gets on top of some table, requests the lights to be dimmed, and pulls out his lyre
and starts to sing the cheesiest song you have ever heard
(even the ever-so-cold sister rosaria smiles at the spectacle full of amusement)
"oooooh, babe, i want nothing but youuuu!" kaeya sings the chorus with slurred words and broken laughs (ironic, considering he's usually the sad drunk) as the others clap along. some guys have gotten up and started dancing.
"do something!" you plead charles, but he just laughs even louder at your desperation. you frown and bite your lips so you don't start doing the same. "for fucks sake, venti! get off there, its three in the morning!"
"why do you have to be so cruuuuel???" he sings in a cry, full of emotion. dropping to his knees in a dramatic way, he tugs at your arm to pull you closer. and right then and there, he stops singing abruptly. "i love you. i love you so, so much." his eyes water and your breath hitches. suddenly serious, his flushed cheeks have your heart doing flips. "you're gorgeous, (y/n). i wish you'd let me stare at you all day. you're the only thing i think about. i want to tell you- no. i need to tell you-"
at that moment, the door slammed open.
"you again?" diluc groaned. everything went silent except for kaeya, who greeted him excitedly, making his way to him in big stomps. noticing this, the redhead sighs tiredly. "show's over, everyone. we're closing for the night."
the drunkards groaned the first time this happened, but because of it repeating every month, they've gotten used to it.
the guy has the patience of a saint, you note.
"let's go home, then," you always say with a kiss to his cheek "you tone-deaf bard."
KAZUHA
out of context but this guy invented chivalry
no i will not give any further explanations
he'll hold your hand like he gets paid for it. so enthused about it.
unlike the three messed up people (lovingly) above, this one does the thumb rubbing thing!! (hooray i guess)
his hands are probably rough considering he uses a katana without gloves/is literally a wanderer. but. i can't picture it. let a woman dream.
OH AND HE'LL TAKE HIS BANDAGE OFF IN PRIVATE IF YOU ASK HIM TO <3
just imagine it aaaaa
he stares at you in pure disbelief EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU ASK
LIKE NO KAZUHA THE BURN MARKS ARE NOT UGLY
and when you tell him that he blushes aahhzhsgzwkshjsjs
still! he's very shy about it (oddly enough) so he will only do it if you've been together for more than, let's say, 6 months?? maybe??
he'll slowly unwraps the cloth, cheeks slightly flushed (as always). it's constant, really; he doesn't falter but he doesn't speed up.
that is, until he comes to a stop. right above the mark.
"kazu," you call. he looks at you through his lashes, full of... embarrassment? "you don't have to if you don't feel like it. but... that's not the case, is it?"
he looks so out of character, gulping and avoiding your gaze. he breathes and tries to say something, but he stops himself and stares at his lap.
"look at me, love." you request, placing your palm on his cheek. "you don't need to hide yourself. you're beautiful."
he stammers a compliment and looks away, clearly flustered by the affection
how cute
those times are when you get to see him timid
no one will believe you, but he's the clingy one
hands on your shoulders, on your hips, waist, face, thighs, and most importantly, on your hands.
the first time you held hands, he was the one initiating the contact
you weren't dating, or even close
that was the day you started crushing on him
wether you were a fellow pirate in the crux fleet or just some person travelling with them on one (1) time makes no difference
the storm unravelling in front of you could terrify anyone
you were, of course, no exception
captain beidou's loud voice, commanding the last preparations before seeking shelter
the loud crackling of thunder, and the constant crash of the waves
the raindrops which fell like knives, making a sound similar to bullets when they hit the wooden floor
the footsteps, your heartbeat, the ropes being pulled
it was just too much
breath quickening, you tried to calm down. teardrops were beginning to form on your eyes but you didn't allow yourself to cry.
it'd be downright embarrassing, considering that everyone else seemed to be taking the situation with cold precision
and oh, fuck, your hands and legs were trembling like jelly
you heard beidou yell something in your direction, and next thing you knew, someone was pulling you inside to the hold.
"it's okay. you're safe now." kazuha's gentle voice lulls you. he's gently grasping your hands in his, rubbing comforting patterns in your skin. you curl up, fingers tightening as the ship rocks violently. you silently thank him when he doesn't pull away or swats you off, opting to huddle closer to you instead. his warmth makes your muscles relax slightly, and he chuckles lightly at it. "feeling better already? i'm glad."
you had never really talked to kazuha, as he often refrained from taking place in the numerous drinking competitions the fleet celebrated on sundays.
(let's just say, that changed in the future)
crimson orbs meet yours when you choose to face the man, and suddenly your face has turned into their rival in a fictional challenge.
you thank him again and straighten up, coming back to your senses. you instantly miss his body heat, but you say nothing.
he does not, however, seem to have any intentions of letting your hand go.
HEIZOU
oh dear god
you're in for a ride
you see, he can be the perfect boyfriend
but he can be a little shit too
it depends on how much he'd like to tease you
if he feels like being an asshole, he'll conjoin your hands and swing them exaggeratedly while skipping and maybe even singing a little tune
he makes sure this is in public (unless it's crossing your boundaries), so he can embarrass you a bit
(if you, however, start replicating him, he'll make it progressively more obnoxious until one of you gives up)
((make it be him. please. place your entire body against his arm and bat your eyelashes at him like you're fucking minnie mouse or something. he's officially losing this one.))
"my dear! my everything!" he exclaimed, snaking your hips with one arm and conjoining your hands with the other. he presses kisses on your fingers, green eyes gleaming with mischief, and he finds it hard to fight back a cackle. this would've been funny, cute, ir even romantic, if it wasn't for the bewildered looks of his coworkers.
one dude actually yelled at him to at least do that in his office. once you were there, you questioned his triumphant expression
"ah, there was this boring case they wanted me to solve..." he snickered. "now they won't come into my office and pester me. i guess some other guy will do it."
fucking bastard (adoringly)
his fingers are long and slim, and his knuckles are rough
he literally throws punches as self-defense. no sword, no bow, just his fists.
by this, i imply that at least his knuckles and reverse of his fingers could exfoliate your skin better than any soap.
his palms are softer (not too big of an accomplishment. a three-day-beard could achieve that, too), and rather cold
heizou's preferred form of physical affection isn't hand holding, actually, so he's not too big on it
he makes an exception for the situation mentioned above AND if you're feeling nervous or stressed.
in the second case, he'll be more subtle. he can read you like a book, so he'll save you of any unwanted attention by softly caressing your palm and fingertips.
"it's okay" he whispers. "do you want to get out of here?"
and if you say yes, he'll excuse the both of you and get you some dango milk
he'll have your pinkies intertwined and walk side by side with you. no jokes or teasing remarks.
(he also manages to have the same exact pace as you. sometimes it's a bit hypnotizing to watch.)
oh and btw, you were the one holding his hand the first time
he knew you were smitten
he knew what you wanted
but he still said "hmm let's see what they do"
smirking at you your whole first date like "oooh you wanna kiss me so bad"
(PUNCH HIM. HE WON'T SEE THAT ONE COMING)
and while accompanying you back home, he's waiting patiently for you to make a move.
and of course he notices. he sees the way your hand shifts closer to his, only to pull away a second later. he sees from the corner of his eye the way your chest rises and falls progressively faster. and oh, archons! you're doing it!
you're lifting your hand up, and it's getting closer, and nearer, and omg it's right next to his--
"go on," he says in a teasing manner, breaking the silence. he wears an shit-eating grin as if it was his best suit "you can do it. i don't bite."
you swallow. you consider kicking him and running off, but you had genuinely enjoyed your afternoon and that'd be a waste. so, hesitantly, you did as you had planned.
his hand was warm, and there was no further chat until you arrived.
you were at the doorstep, saying your goodbyes.
"keep going, yeah?" he giggles right before leaving. "i'm expecting a kiss next time!"
"wha-"
it's up to determine wether he got it or not.
TIGHNARI
QODIAHUSBSUSJS AAAAAAA
OKOK HEAR ME OUT
you're a forest ranger too
so you two conveniently go on patrol together
who could've guessed?
even before you dated. consider that as his form of courting.
but but! the moment you two are official tho!!
he'll hold your hand constantly <3
its perfect because he's NOT a pda person. so he has his three favourite things together.
privacy, the forest, and you:)
expect collei to look beyond awkward whenever she catches you two having the slightest moment of physical affection in front of her
she loves you two and is very supportive !! she just does NOT know what to do with herself.
also HOLDING HANDS TO ASSERT DOMINANCE/hj
and by this i mean Very Obviously putting your intertwined hands over the table as you have dinner with cyno and collei
cyno: *🤨*
collei: *small politely and nod yall*
"...what clothes do clouds wear?" cyno reads from his (terrifying) book as you swallow your bite out of your pita pocket. he then proceeds to look straight at tighnari, who is currently two seconds away from jumping out of the window. "thunderwear."
the situation was so weird you couldn't help giggling a bit, covering your face with your free hand. at your side, tighnari's grip became a bit tighter. "unbelievable" he grits his teeth. and at that, you laugh harder.
you teased him for that dumb "jealous" episode for WEEKS. my man wanted to disappear from the face of teyvat.
on another note. his gloves.
they look so squishy idk how to say this.
the pads?? are like a jelly-esque material?? maybe slime condensant or whatever its called
so you can expect his bare hands to be SOFT. AND PRETTY. BECAUSE HE NEVER GOES OUT WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION.
(as he should)
most likely the best hands in genshin together with albedo and maybe scaramouche?? nah scratch that pantalone must have the best manicure in the world
back on point. his nails are kinda pointy (he is a fox so it is to be expected) so DO NOT ask him to scratch your back. he'll say no anyway but beware.
it'll be more painful than satisfying. does not fully count if you're a masochist.
anyways. he enjoys physical touch wayyy more than he'd like to admit.
hand holding isn't enough he wants you to pet his ears and spoon him (partner privilege what can i say)
tighnari's generally stern disposition was a challenge during the "chase" phase of the relationship. for the both of you.
on the one hand, there were your compliments and your not-so-secret intention to win him over.
on the other hand, he blatantly refused to flirt back, but still managed to flirt back.
you know the difference?
like, never once in a million years would he see his crush and say "you look amazing, darling. are you free tonight?" and wink.
BUT he will say "that shade of green is nice." and oh so conveniently need your help writing some stuff down.
("paperwork. nothing too interesting" he'll say when questioned. "mind your business" is what he means.)
you learn to pick up on it. and he learns to be more bold.
you let him hold your hand the first time.
he's not that fond of physical touch, and you didn't want to cross his boundaries, so you let him take those steps.
it was a warm summer night in sumeru. the kind of warm in which the breeze is pleasant and no jacket is needed.
you were stargazing and pointing out constellations together,
and he just. went for it.
"hold my hand" he said without looking at you. it wasn't that much of a statement, because the softness in his tone made it sound like a suggestion.
a smile appears on your face while your insides tickle, and you feel a bit ridiculous for being so excited over something so simple. "as you wish" you teasingly say, taking hold of his hand.
the lack of light makes it hard to read his expression, or see if he's blushing.
a thousand questions race in your head, mixed with worries and things you'd like to say
all of them dissipate when he interlaces your fingers.
DAINSLEIF
well first of all
he's very,,,
devoted
by which i mean you are his moon and stars
he'll BATHE YOU in affection.
he wouldn't even entertain the idea of dating someone he doesn't trust completely and/or hasn't been with him for a long time
you make him soft lol,,,, use that info however you want
he does the thumb rubbing thing!!! a king fr
ah and he's not taking off his gloves. because of the curse, his skin is probably a bit unsettling to see?
so is yours, considering you share his condition.
he isn't that into physical touch, though. and even less into pda.
so there's three situations in which he holds your hand:
while walking around alone, when you're nervous or scared, and in the intimacy of your home
it's on the quiet days around teyvat that he doesn't wanna let go
it's standing before the enemy, which haunts you two like prey, that he reminds you he would never let go
and it's while sleeping, huddled together, that he holds you close to him and intertwines your fingers<3
like i sad, no pda.
he might make an exception if it's the traveller with you, but uhh not really...???
hes so awkward about it too like-- it can get funny sometimes.
like one time he held you by the waist when you visited stormterror's lair and paimon just commented on it
had he been not so stoic he might have jumped away from you like his instincts yelled
and she didn't even say anything weird. maybe something like "you look good together!" or "huh?! you like him?!"
she adores you so she's very much Confused™ by your taste
give her time she'll get over it
but you get it, really. the picture of dainsleif she has could never compare to yours.
you still remember, all those centuries ago, when you took a leap of faith and pulled him to the dancefloor.
well, not exactly a dancefloor, but more of a 𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸𝓮𝒻𝓁ℴℴ𝓻 ???
yeah like . elegant.
he was the dainsleif, and you were just. you
i mean babe ur great and all but hes like the strongest (and hottest lets be honest) guy in khaenri'ah. good luck!!
some friends encouraged you. this was a big celebration!! the eclipse dynasty and its descendants rarely ever organized parties. not in their home, at least.
so after months of watching the twilight sword from afar, you finally had a chance (although slim) of approaching him
so you got ready (best clothes, best accesories, and a lengthy skincare session) and when some animated music started to play, it was your chance
"you got this!" your friends said. "yeah, you look stunning! he's saying yes for sure!"
he's talking with some colleagues and the rush of adrenaline slowly leaves you,
but oh no! it's too late. you've made eye contact and he's two meters away from you.
"breathe, calm down" you tell yourself. your steps become wobbly but the resolution doesn't leave your features.
dainsleif looks surprised when you stop in front of him, and the guy he was chatting with (who you recognize as halfdan, one of his most loyal underlings) elbows him with a smile before excusing himself in a teasing tone
"may i help you?" he asks. oh god, his voice always makes your insides tickle. you open and close your mouth before pursuing your lips and speaking in a more... assured tone.
"yes. i was wondering if you'd like to... to dance with me?" you chuckle nervously as dain gapes at you, clearly shocked. "i mean! you probably have better things to do and... you are probably very uncomfortable right now. uh, sorry! i'll just leave-"
"i'd love to" he interrupts with a small smile. "also, you look very beautiful today, (y/n)."
"oh." you beam, holding his wrist gently. "thanks. you, uh, you always look beautiful." as you guide him among the other couples, you swear you can hear some knights cheering.
and the rest is history :')
side note: forgot to mention you were freaking out because "OH MY GOD HE KNOWS MY NAME?? HE KNOWS OF ME EXISTING???? AND HE. SAID. YES??????"
however, with dain, life's not sunshine and rainbows.
he trusts you, of course, and he loves you even more
but he still refuses to ask for comfort. no matter how many times you make him understand your feelings for him, he just doesn't seem to understand a word.
sometimes you face his walls and are struck by a sudden wave of disappointment.
it's not like you want to know every thought and emotion that crosses him, but communication can be hard sometimes.
like when he had jumped into the abyss without a care in the world.
you are angry, of course. you had been sick with worry, crying and pacing and lucky in the few nights you had been able to sleep.
he had (conveniently) reappeared next to the traveler, inside the chasm (or at least that was what he told you). from that point on, the story became more twisted.
but his voice was so groggy as he told you, and his eyes were peering at you with so much tiredness, you couldn't help taking his hands in yours and resting his body against you.
"i'm sorry." he repeated over and over, becoming more desperate each time. lacking the strength to even straighten his back, he barely mustered the energy to slightly squeeze your hands.
"let's rest for a while, yes? i'm just happy that you're back."
he's so grateful for everything you do :(
being with him would be living in a hurt/(no?) comfort fic 24/7 actually lol i kinda wanna cry
being with him takes effort, resilience, and overall, it's hard
though as he links your fingers and his eyes fill with sheer devotion and adoration, you think it's all worth it :')
#☀️.writing#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#ayato x reader#ayato x you#gorou x you#gorou x reader#venti x reader#venti x you#kazuha x you#kazuha x reader#heizou x reader#heizou x you#tighnari x reader#tighnari x you#dainsleif x reader#dainsleif x you
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What I love about Ellie's 'queerness' in TLOU 1 is how subtly it was portrayed in the story. That's one of the reasons why I used quotes for the word queerness right there.
What I think is that up until Ellie was like 16 or 17 years old, she wasn't even aware that she was full-on gay, at least not till she started crushing on Dina and then later dating Cat. Which only takes me back to my point about how perfectly and subtly it was added to the story of the first game.
None of us had the slightest idea when we played The Last of Us in 2013 that Ellie might be gay. Let's be honest. Ellie's only mention of her best friend at the end of the game was nothing to take from. No one could know. At least not before Left Behind came out (and even then, it wasn't just thrown into our faces).
I love that the creators weren't pushing her sexuality onto us. Ellie being attracted to her girl best friend just somehow existed in her world, and no one needed to know. We never heard her say anything about it. We never saw her fighting her feelings either, because the way she felt was always somehow natural for her.
I don't even think 14-year-old Ellie, who saw the world through a 10-year-old's eyes, ever wasted her time thinking about it as deeply either. Riley has always been the closest thing Ellie had to love, comfort, support, and being there for her. When she started having mixed feelings towards her, she just went with it without even questioning it. You would expect a 13–14-year-old to have doubts or questions about it. Ellie was just content with it.
I honestly think (and this might be an unpopular opinion; don't get triggered) that even if Riley was a guy and they'd still be this close, Ellie would still fall for her anyway, no matter her best friend's sex. Growing up at a military school and being surrounded by men who have been trying to 'train' you to fight so you could be useful to them later with no one to show you comfort just sorts of affects you. So recognizing love and affection in someone at this age, you wouldn't really care about their sex or what attracts you physically. It just happens for you.
In the 2nd game, there's no doubt Ellie already knows about herself that she's a mad, raging lesbian, lol, but yanno, more likely she didn't care that much when she was a kid, that's all I am saying.
I simply love how they made Ellie's character realistic and so believable in how they portrayed it. It only made me love Ellie even more.
[photo: vipo777]
#the last of us#tlou#the last of us part 1#ellie williams#ellie tlou#the last of us game#tlou game#the last of us part 2#ashley johnson#unpopular opinion#lgbtq#queerness#the last of us talk#elliespuns analyses
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Long-winded thoughts no one asked me for about Red, White, and Royal Blue (movie)
First things first, would I have preferred it was a series? Absolutely. More time available, more characters allowed maybe, which could've run possibly closer to book. Do we know if that was ever an option though? I haven't seen or heard anything to indicate this had anything other than a movie available to be made. That being said, I really enjoyed the movie and can separate the book and movie without finding issue with anything not included. I mean, my favorite book is World War Z and if you want a movie that is absolutely nothing like the book...yeah.
I can't explain it but Henry's dog is absolutely a 'David'. He doesn't look like a Bowie at all. I don't know why but his name inexplicably fits.
Okay moving on. I like that the characters are older. They've lived a little more life and are settling in to who they are by the time their worlds' are shaken up. They're (still young but) no longer younger men who's brains aren't yet fully formed. Forever feels big when you're young but it's almost like it holds more consequences as you get older. Which - and I might be flamed for this - made the absence of Luna easier. At 22 Alex still had people he was looking up to, hoping to follow in the footsteps of. 27/28 year old Alex is creating his own path, being his own role model to follow. He knows he wants to be someone his dad didn't see growing up. He knows the weight that carries.
Henry is reserved and poised, except when it comes to Bea and Alex. His sister is understandable; she's his closest ally in a world he isn't comfortable living in. But Alex is the only one to get under his skin and make him less poised. Arguing with Alex should be beneath him, particularly on his brother's wedding day, but there's something about that antagonism that draws him in - crush notwithstanding. Maybe it's the thrill of talking to his crush regardless of words said, or maybe it's the freedom he feels in being less than proper around Alex because Alex doesn't white glove treat him in any situation.
The Waterloo closet. Henry was forced into the public eye - I do like how movie changed some lines here and made the death more recent for that interaction. It makes Henry look more sympathetic than the book (to me). And it allows Alex the chance to find some emotional even footing with Henry. He wasn't a douche cause he's a douche. He was a douche because he was grieving and wasn't allowed to navigate it properly. They were both struggling that night and neither knew it. The closet ironically let the air clear.
Henry hating New Years and basically (in a way) repeating Alex's death phrase. They think so similarly they both decided if I'm dead I can't be forced to do something lol. But Henry still goes and still has a good time until he's confronted with why he hates it. Seeing someone you like surrounded by others, engaged with others, when you can't be your true self with them must've been a gut punch. Nicholas Galitzine has the best facial expressions. And I love the way Taylor played the happy vibe until he noticed Henry not happy any longer.
I don't think the girl draping herself all over Alex during the party had slept with him yet. I think she was hoping to but he was not interested, no matter how hard she tried to get him to be. She felt too "look at me" and not "remember when we" to feel like they were past bed buddies.
The tree scene I like better movie wise. Alex staying back, letting Henry have his space to think and be but still engaging. He felt a little like a smartass in the book but here he explains he was who Henry describes, anonymous until he wasn't, but he seems to understand Henry wants to talk so he asks Henry who he'd be. There's a hint of a smile on Alex's face when Henry describes writing and Paris, like he appreciates Henry's hopes. Taylor plays this scene so softly (if still a little sloshed). It's only when Henry mentions dating that the banter part of Alex's brain turns back on and he isn't wrong; it isn't hard for a prince to get a date. But that doesn't mean they're dating who they want, no matter who they like.
I could gush about the kiss but that'd be paragraphs. So I'll just say I've seen some question why Alex doesn't give chase when Henry apologizes and walks away. 1st I think he's stunned. Maybe his brain hasn't figured out how to tell his legs to follow. It was a good kiss, he's shocked. 2nd, I think maybe the sober part knows if he did follow it would not be beneficial. Henry might run, be spooked off, and...vanish (sigh).
Side note: anyone else notice the steam coming off Alex (Taylor) after Henry walked away? Lol boy was feeling warm and I doubt it was the alcohol.
Real quick, the texts/calls. I love them playing out on screen and the progression from words only to them being spoken. It shows growing comfort until the bed scene where they feel together, if separated by an ocean. Also, OUCH to Henry reading the messages and not responding.
I liked how though Alex admits to interactions with other guys to Nora he doesn't label himself. He isn't 'out' to her. Sure she can deduce but he doesn't say it outright. His whole purpose isn't whether he's bi but why Henry lol. No there's no Liam but he is there in the peripheral of an experience Alex had in high school. And his time drunk in the hot tub with Miguel is just another experience. Alex it seems has never questioned why he's attracted to who he's attracted to until it became Henry because that doesn't compute.
I do believe Alex reciprocated at least something in his bedroom after the PM's dinner. When the Washington Monument (no pun intended) pops up, the moon travels across the sky to indicate significant time passing and once we rejoined A&H, Alex was shoeless and adjusting his belt so they had to have done more than just a bj from Henry. I seriously doubt they could have controlled themselves if Alex was undressed all that time or had changed into something else. But I think Henry looks so put together because he's in Alex's room, in the White House as a guest, and he has to leave the room risking potentially being seen, so he can't look rumpled or ravaged if he is. He has to look like he's proper and dignified and sexed out would not do.
Real quick on Miguel: I don't think he was ever jealous, not completely at least. I think he was calculating and opportunistic. Initially hooking up with the son of a presidential candidate is a big deal, get them drunk and maybe they'll talk/give you a scoop. It also shows he's ethically ambiguous. It presents a conflict of interest to hook up with a candidate's son and then continue to cover that candidate/elected person. Ethically, what is his bias like, you know? Did he cover the Claremont administration first term fairly or did he skew things just in case he ran into Alex again? Sure he probably enjoyed himself and hoped for a repeat but I think he let ambition run over common sense and decency. He sees something (A&H meeting at the bar entrance), and it's after he's just been harshly (to him) rejected by Alex so he probably let that sting of rejection propel his opportunistic side and now he gets a big scoop. It will propel his career and the carnage left in the wake of that is secondary. As a queer man I'm sure he weighed the outing and decided his advancement was worth more than the harm he was bringing about. Especially since he never should have continued covering the president or her family. I'd like to think he was fired but... I also doubt he did everything on his own. He has connections, he used them, cut a deal with foreign press and got his notoriety. No matter its cost. And also the irony of the actual publication the fictional Miguel works for lambasting the movie because they got in their rejection feels makes me laugh a little. Journalists who you think have integrity can disappoint you. Horribly. That's just as realistic as what happens in the book. Their review felt more like why'd you pick on me than what the actual movie was intended to be viewed as. Just my opinion though.
A quick sidebar on TZP: Nick was amazing. He had a meaty (get out of the gutter) role to play with a vast array of heavy emotions displayed. Alex, however is the more laid back, possibly happier character because he has a good support system at home, even if I felt (movie wise) he was isolated in his own way, with no real relationships outside those working around him. He causes chaos but he isn't cruel about it, he's just occasionally dumb lol. He drives Zahra crazy but she genuinely cares for him. I think Amy would be interested in seeing Alex tased (all in good fun) but he's like her baby brother and she will destroy you if you hurt him. But TZP feels so Alex coded, and he does funny really well which isn't easy for everyone. After learning of the part and before he auditioned Taylor made sure to read the book to grasp the character, even, as he says, crying over it. He annotated his script, essentially making lists to keep track of feelings and emotions needed to convey Alex's growth and journey since they film out of order. His script was his bible so he got his character just right. Nick gets a lot of (justified) credit for his performance but I really feel like Taylor put in so much effort to do Alex justice and deserves his flowers for that.
It's so interesting to watch the way both men change. Henry is reserved and "grey" in appearance and mood. I look at the character and he's a muted blue to me (out of curiosity, I wondered how much of "Mad King" George was passed into Henry's lineage seeing as book Henry sees a therapist/takes meds and movie Henry is very often on the downward). But when Alex enters his life other colors full of vibrancy do too. The muted shades lighten and he grows stronger, more confident. He learns he doesn't have to be confined to propriety and status quo keeping him caged. Alex on the other hand is buoyant red and orange, he's a bit of a chaos gremlin, like he has so much energy and passion he needs to share but with limited outlets (like, just please look at his memo). Henry gives him an outlet, both passionately and as a safe space to express his hopes. He also soothes the chaos Alex carries. Once their relationship gets going, Alex feels softer, quieter. Like he settled into his skin finally, having it fit the way it was always meant to but didn't have the right measurements yet. He's still passionate, he still has a raging fire burning within but it's like everything clicked into place and he finally understands how to wield it. Alex helped Henry finally believe he was brave all along, and Henry helped show Alex he was capable, especially when he kept being held back.
I'm so curious what's going through Henry's mind when Alex tells Zahra they've been seeing each other since New Years. Because it was an impulsive act in the middle of him feeling down on Henry's part but to Alex that's when their relationship started. It didn't even matter he was ghosted. New Years was the beginning to Alex and I'd love to know what Henry's thoughts are on that because of the way he looks at Alex in that scene is one of potential curiosity or maybe even disbelief.
I'll admit I like Uma's Ellen better than the book version. She's involved and attentive to her son's life and unlike in the book, it doesn't feel like she has to set time to be motherly. The scene where she questions Alex about Miguel leaking his Texas strategy, when she tells Alex he's no longer allowed to speak to the press Alex is genuinely hurt. It's all over his face, his mom losing trust in him over this. It's not something that's happened before or often. He's chaos but even after the cake incident, he wasn't perceived as a risk until this moment and it hurts him his mom feels that way. But Alex isn't one to hold a grudge and he still wants his mom to succeed, whether he helps with that or not. And his coming out to her, she's holding him after they've eaten and are talking. In the book, yes there's the funny power point but it's in a conference room setting and more clinical. Taylor is a tactile person, Alex is now too, and the character being held by his mom while they discuss his life is endearing.
The almost "I love you" made me think to how desperately Henry wants to hear it but at the same time it's a swift wake up that the carefully crafted fun time they're supposed to be having isn't actually just for fun. Casual is a word they heard but never learned the definition of. With Alex's bedroom and the "can't have you fall in love with me" bit, Henry didn't see the quick flash of disappointment in Alex's face at being told this had to be casual. He only heard and noticed Alex agreeing with him. Henry liked Alex a long time but it was probably his safest crush because he only saw the superficial version of Alex that was portrayed by people who didn't know him. The playboy, the guy who didn't take life too seriously and who jokes around. Of course that guy wouldn't fall for Henry, it's just a good time. But Alex feels deeply. He's exposed this constantly, but most fiercely when discussing why he wants to be involved in politics. Henry just made himself turn a blind eye so he didn't let his attachment to Alex break him when that played up version of Alex inevitably got bored and moved on. So the almost I love you shatters Henry because it wasn't supposed to happen. The lies he fed himself were exposed and he had to run.
I do think the emotions Alex let free within him amped up his idealism. And probably nerves did too. So once he started talking whatever was in his head slipped out because he knew walking through Austin holding hands was not realistic but his heart yearned for it so his mouth said it. I did wonder what Alex was thinking after Henry swims away. I imagine he believed that maybe while he was there emotionally, Henry wasn't and jumped because he got spooked worried about not feeling love yet. He probably figured Henry needed space and then they'd talk it out because that's what they do but instead Henry ghosted. He admits to Henry he knew he wouldn't hear I love you back but he still wanted to be honest about his own feelings.
The fireside confrontation: Alex storming the castle is a metaphor. Henry's the castle. Honestly, Alex doesn't storm anything in the book either, he just causes enough of a nuisance they let him in to not cause or create a scene. In the movie I imagine it's the same; Henry's told Alex insists on being let in. He was probably outside close to a scene and was let in to avoid that. I think he was fire and determination until he was let in and was left standing alone waiting for Henry because for all his bluster, he's terrified of losing Henry completely. He loves him, his heart is on the line here. It was only after Henry told him he could say his piece and then leave did that fire return.
And Henry isn't wrong but he also isn't right. He did tell Alex who he is and what is and isn't acceptable. Prince Henry belongs to Britain. Protocol. Problem though is he was only ever Henry Fox with Alex. He was his true self and so Alex saw exactly who Henry is. He knows exactly who Henry is. I think Henry accusing Alex of not knowing him was a little bit of projection because after so much time spent with Alex he was struggling to keep up the act and maintain keeping the parts of himself separated. Because Henry let himself be reckless when he knew a prince wasn't supposed to be. But also Henry's wrong about it costing Alex nothing. I'm sure Alex weighed his future if he pursued Henry. Not only does it hold risk to his mom's reelection, he has goals for himself, promises he made to himself that affect the rest of his life, and a relationship with Henry could put that in jeopardy. It has the potential to completely throw off his entire life but his feelings for Henry were weighed to be with that risk.
Also just thinking about it, Henry longs for anonymity. It's the first real thing he discusses with Alex, it's something they discuss after they make love the first time, it's a big deal to Henry. And I do think in some ways he's a little upset at Alex for not necessarily wanting that life. But I think one thing he doesn't think about is if Alex was anonymous, if his mom never ran for president, Henry would've miss out on meeting the love of his life. If Henry was anonymous, same thing. How would their paths have crossed? Maybe fate or some kind of magic, but that doesn't always happen. They had to be who they are to find each other.
I also just really loved the way Alex spoke to Henry through the confrontation. It was romanticism and all those books Henry loves but in real life. It shows Alex was paying attention to who Henry is and what he likes/appreciates. I also feel like Alex weighed their separate futures and saw how he could try to move on with someone else but it would never amount to what he had with Henry. There would always be a void there. And Henry, if he met and married would be forever miserable, locked in a lie just to appease an institution that cares more about propriety than the person. It'd undoubtedly hurt Alex the rest of his life. "Nothing would ever happen to you." Just think how even if Alex didn't pursue a public life he'd still occasionally be talked about. So if he did meet someone and marry them, it'd be publicized, in black and white for Henry to break apart over. And the same for Alex, only knowing it was all a facade to keep up appearances. God, that thought actually hurts to think about.
Heading to the V&A it was interesting to watch the distance between them. Alex hangs back, he steps purposely out of the way when walking through the gate to not touch Henry, and he sniffs a little once on the other side. I wonder if he wondered would Henry get him out there to shut him out. Alex doesn't know what they're doing and he's going on blind faith this won't break his heart any further. It's only just before their dance their steps become in sync again, a reconnect of what was nearly broken. And Alex had Henry step to him, having Henry make the choice to equalize them again because this was the only time they didn't walk side by side. And that fake was amazing. It was nearly as intimate as them making love, only this was full of fear and hope and uncertainty and want all wrapped up into the heavy but chosen burden of history.
I am so glad Alex gives Henry his key. And that Alex wears the ring. It feels so much more meaningful to have them both give a "part of themselves" to the other while they have to be apart. Especially after their peace is violated. They need that anchor to the other, most especially once radio silence commenced. And then the way Henry held it together but slowly started to break as he walked away...ugh heartbreaking. But I just know Alex knew he was struggling because he stopped to watch Henry leave, no doubt to make sure he was able to. Henry can't watch Alex leave but Alex has to watch Henry leave because he needs to make sure he's okay.
"Just hold on until I get there." and "I'll break the sound barrier for you." Alex will let Henry fall apart if he needs to and he will hold him up and be strength for both of them until Henry gains his strength back. And it feels so much like Alex will fight whatever even thinks of hurting Henry. He doesn't think twice, Henry needs him, distance and everything else between him and the man he loves can screw off.
I was thinking about how Alex addresses the press, admits to a relationship with Henry, confirms the rumors, yet the King decided to say it was all lies. I believe he intentionally mentions the misinformation campaign as his way of letting Henry (and Alex) know it doesn't matter what was confirmed during the White House press conference; the crown is going to sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen. They're going to pretend it's false even if it has the potential to disrupt relations between the US and UK. Isolating and hiding away Henry was step one in that plan. The king says this in front of Alex, basically daring Henry to go against everything he was brought up to behave like, because of course he'll agree to the denial and having him do it in front of Alex let's Alex (and Henry) know the power of the crown isn't to be trifled with. It's why when asked, Alex looks at Henry, face serious, wondering how Henry'll respond. I've no doubt when the King dressed Alex down and Henry released his hand, Alex thought he might've lost Henry for the briefest of moments until Henry asked why. The problem though is this is the age of instant media, and if citizens of a nation see one side confirm, openly, honestly, but see the other side made to be hidden, they're gong to react. In this case they understood what wasn't being said by the crown and decided to show support for Henry (and Alex by association). The carefully constructed image backfired because the people wanted their prince happy and in love. Not locked away and forgotten until he projects what his position demanded.
And I was also thinking how neither Henry or Alex could contact each other. Radio silence and no way to make sure the other (especially Henry) is okay. What can Alex do if he can't actually reach out? He can make a speech. He can confirm to the world - but speak to Henry specifically ("I hope Henry was watching." he tells Zahra) - that he's resolute. That he isn't ashamed and no one else in their similar positions should be either, because privacy violation doesn't diminish love. Henry did see. It helped. But Alex's presence healed.
Other tidbits: For as chaotic as he can be, Alex being very organized makes so much sense. He probably understands his mind is a mess and he struggles to be stagnant for too long so he makes sure his physical surroundings and his work is orderly. I like how though Alex is a touch driven person, he let's Henry lead in touching him. (Did anyone else notice how it looks like Nick hit a sensitive spot around Taylor's shoulder/chest in the Paris scene before they fall into bed? Lol!) Henry is closeted and though Alex hasn't come out he isn't afraid of being himself. So he doesn't want to take from Henry, instead allowing Henry to take, thus he can touch freely while Alex holds back until Henry is comfortable. Casual relationships don't get discussed with sisters. I wonder if Bea was thinking that while Henry talked about Alex lol. Alex's instant "no" to Zahra: man feels zero hesitation. The way Zahra calls Alex kid: you know he's the baby brother she never asked for and questions why the stork won't take him back lol! The way Oscar and Alex talk about Henry; first at the WH where Oscar asks Alex's problem with Henry, and then when Alex asks if Oscar likes Henry. I just know Alex was thinking back to that conversation hoping his dad still thinks of Henry as a good person. The little kisses Henry gives to Alex... lovely. There are so many little moments that I'm curious if it's just decisions by T&N to do or if any bits were scripted. I'd love commentary and deleted scenes and extras etc.
Honestly, Taylor and Nick were stupendous in this movie. They made me believe they love each other romantically, that they're soulmates. I love that they're such good friends, but it feels like their bond transcends that. Taylor's crying causes Nick to cry, that kind of emotional connection is so exquisite to witness. Though in their humor I probably adore them more. It's like they share a brain cell and the lithe guy is fighting for its life haha! I need to see them -definitely in a sequel- do more things together. Buddy comedy, drama, whatever, just let them do their thing. I hope the studios get their acts together soon because these guys (whole cast&crew) deserved to promote this movie and feel up close love and adoration for it.
If you read all that, you're a champ.
#red white and royal blue#red white & royal blue#rwrb#rwrb movie#rwrb film#rwrb book#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#prince henry rwrb#firstprince#alex rwrb#taylor zakhar perez#nicholas galitzine#thoughts
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Growth (Part 2)
Growth, Part 2/3 – ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD!! 😭😭 Lol sorry but the last panel is absolutely me when I think about amatonormativity as a whole, it’s really silly the more you think about it and I can’t believe that it’s so deeply engrained in most of the world.
I think I should mention I don’t have any specific narratives to reference for the tropes described in this comic, as much as I would like to, as I started panelling this a year ago and past me GOOFED and didn’t leave many notes on what examples she was specifically think of. Again, feel free to let me know any examples you can think of in the comments or via DM! I’ll pin them if they’re in the comments and I might make a follow up Tumblr post listing examples 😊
Also, while I was researching this general topic I did go through TV Tropes “The Singles” (as a character type? Category) page, and I found something very interesting. There’s a literally a section describing the tropes that “explain” why a character was not in a romantic relationship … and literally they have ever “Excuse” for why a character might be single except for. Maybe literally they’re aromantic 😭 The closest is “Allergic to Love” (which like, relatable. But also not inherently an orientation).
Just like …. OH MY GOD. People sometimes try to act like we’re being dramatic about leting people know being Aromantic is possible but STRAIGHT UP. IN POPULAR CULTURE (and often OUR WHOLE LIVES BEFORE WE DISCOVER THE TERM, AND ACCEPT OUR IDENTITES) THE IDEA OF BEING AROMANTIC IS JUST NON-EXISTENT, WRITTEN AROUND WITH EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE “EXCUSE” OR “EXPLANATION” Because apparently the idea that someone could just not feel romantic attraction is too much for this world 😫
I don’t have too much else to say, other than I hope you’re all holding up okay and taking care of yourselves.
Image Description:
Slide 1: Celia holds her hand up to her chin, contemplating. “The whole idea of growth being tied to romance is reflected in other tropes too –”
Slide 2: A split panel is illustrated. A south asian girl is shown crying as she types on her phone. She mutters to herself “Ugh, I’m SO done with dating. I’m putting myself first for once.”
On the other side of the panel, she is shown to have gone through a *transformation* (a la early 2000s makeover), and bumping into her destined love interest.
“The character’s efforts to “work on themselves” and “get away from romance”, are ironically what lead them to finding their “happy ending”.
Slide 3: Alternatively, a character finally accepting that they are happy single is seen as a “stepping stone” to being “ready” for a relationship.
In this scene, a brunette wearing a yellow shirt and dark skirt proclaims “I can be happy as a single woman”. In the background a spotlight flicks on as her “right” love interest appears. “Achievement unlocked: True Love interest” is overlaid in a font reminiscent of classic video games.
Slide 4: Celia speaks to the viewer. “Again, there’s nothing inherently wrong about either of these stories. It’s amazing if someone who gave up on love due to frustration, not a lack of desire, finds it again through pure fate and luck.”
Slide 5: Celia gestures now as she tries to explain, “But the problem is that these moments are framed as more of a “gotcha”, where this idea of pursuing growth purely for oneself, or holding any disdain of a romantic relationship in this process, is inherently wrong. In the end, even growing for yourself is really about growing for a romantic relationship.”
Slide 6: Celia rubs her hands through her hair in frustration. “Like … not everything is about being in a relationship! It’s not that hard.”
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im not even a huge fizzarozzie stan, but why are you so obsessed with warping the ship into being this huge dumpsterfire of toxicity that fizz needs to leave in order to reunite with his “soulmate” blitzo?
“Ozzie doesn’t understand him” bruh Ozzie is literally the only person who understands him he said so himself. And even the person who you’re closest toowill be kinda perplexed if the guy you hated for 10+ years suddenly becomes your bestie.
“They’ll be taking some time apart and might take a look at this codependency issue.” - lol no way viv’s doing that lol shes going all in on them being a duo. Like dont get me wrong I think they’re a bit too uwu joined at the hip for me but it’s not this horrible ship where fizz is kept in a gilded birdcage forever.
“I think karma will hit him and he’ll get his own version of what he put Moxxie through. Specifically Asmodeus, Fizz to a lesser extent.” in a perfect world I’d actually hope this would happen but considering Viv portrayed all of Hell as fangirls for them, this is 1000% Not Happening.
”Fizz definitely isn’t his first ever love, if the demonology is anything to go by. The story of Sarah in the Book of Tobit is Asmodeus’ most famous story so to exclude that would be a disservice to the character.” Viv spoils her plot points through Twitter likes, she confirmed Tobit/all demonology stories aren’t canon to Helluva unless directly stated :/ and she’s liked many versions of tweets basically saying Ozzie has never had romantic feelings ever until Fizz and never will again after he dies.
and Blitzø is his own brand of fucked up, even more so than Fizz and Ozzie combined. No way in hell those two would work out without some SERIOUS therapy on Blitzø’s end.
I think you actually clearly are a big fizzarozzie fan? you’re blowing the one time someone criticises the ship out of proportion, getting defensive, and using dramatic words like “obsessed” “warping” and “soulmate” I’m literally the 1% here. There are lots of shipping spaces you can go instead. The way the fandom treats this ship like a fragile gem shows it could do with some looking at. When people refuse to let you critique something that’s how you know it’s hiding some problems.
Who is warping anything by just noticing the events that happen and interpreting them in a way you don’t agree with?
Oz misunderstands him more than he understands. They bicker, they miscommunicate, and in the end they try again. and it isn’t all about blitz, because Oz never understood why he needed to compete in the contest at the start of Oops, he doesn’t notice fizz hiding things from him, he doesn’t listen to fizz when he worries that eyes are around, and confesses his love without Fizz fully agreeing to it. Sure Fizz hugs him or laughs it off but can’t they have some agreement on when it’s a secret and when it isn’t? He doesn’t understand Fizzs identity crisis, his need for approval from mammon, his past, any of it.
Viv also likes Crimson x Chaz fanart, art of ValAngel and Vox being a couple, art of Fizz dying, art of him being immortal, art of characters dating ocs. Art of her own self inserts, art of Blitz shape shifting into a dragon, art of Blitz and Fizz having reciprocated love, art of Alessio being Moxxies stepdad, Etc etc. That’s not enough to go on.
“The first and last time he’ll ever experience love” that is just plain weird. And obsessive. Not to mention bad writing. I’ve never heard anyone talk like that. He’s way too possessive of Fizz. He has to live his entire life with Asmodeus and die in his arms in his tower where’s he’s all alone? I hope not. That’s almost worse than him being made an immortal imp.
“She’s going all in on them being a duo” what are you talking about. Like what does this mean. She also said a main character might die and some of them don’t get happy endings.
What do you mean it’s 1000% not happening? Denial much? It already did in S2E6, with the article, the way the staff negatively react, the fact mammon said he’ll regret revealing it? The people at the show are literally Fizzarolli’s fandom, safe to say they aren’t everyone.
All demonology is not canon is just a straight up not factual statement, she makes constant references to demonology. His design is inspired by it, his apparent disapproval of monogamy is inspired by it, why would his biggest story not be referenced whatsoever? Isn’t it possible that Ozzie had his heart broken before and that’s why he’s afraid? Dang. Chill out.
As for your last paragraph, I think you just hate Blitz, ignore the fact that he’s going through development, and need to chill out. Pump the breaks a lil. Soulmates don’t exist.
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Hello dear! 🌸
How are you?😊 Can I request some fluffy headcanon with Zoro? Like about how he treats differently his female s/o compared to the other strawhats (alone or not) like he'll let you HOLD his swords?? Like HOW MUCH DOES HE TRUST YOU TO DO THAT??? and he's a bit awkward/shy about it cuz he doesn't know a lot about dating and love in general? And can you make his s/o be part of the strawhats but she's a fighter with a nearly equal bounty as him so she's courageous and strong but also cute and girly?
I hope it's not too specific! Lol 😃🤣
Thanks in advance if you want do it 💜💜💜
Have a good day/night/evening! 🐈💚
Here some inspirational gifs:
“soft but only for you”
⠀⠀ੈ♡˳· zoro isn't soft, yet he is, but only for you.
⠀⠀➧ warnings — none! though swearing and mistakes may be present.. so do ignore them, thanks!
⠀⠀➧ fluff | roronoa zoro × f!reader | headcanons
⠀⠀➧ requests are open! do send some requests for me to write!
⠀⠀꒰ 🍨 ꒱ notes: sorry for the delay! but yeah, here's your soft boyfie zoro, @fitut-tut . ♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱
what is it like dating
RORONOA ZORO?
honestly, i think zoro would be casual with you, his s/o in your relationship. i don't really see him the type to play favorites but—
you're his. his lover. so it'd be a different story on how he treats you and the others.
obviously, he'll be softer with you, and he'll show it through simple acts bcs as said, he is awkward with love in general.
the crew noticed this and was shocked to see the almost stoic first mate melt his cold demeanor when he's with you.
though i firmly believe that zoro isn't really open with expressing affection in public, so i say that he would only give you affection in private, but a small bit in public too, keeping it low.
so you might be the one who will be mainly giving affection bcs he's actually just too shy to initiate PDA. 🕳️🚶♀️
compared to the other strawhats, zoro treats you with great care, making sure that you're doing good all the times.
he's also the closest with you, you're in a relationship with him after all.
trusts you very much obvious by the times he lets you USE his swords, going as far to lend you one of them when you two encounter and enemy if you ever forget your weapon.
your #1 supporter is this swordsman—always cheers you on, just like when your bounty was revealed to be just a few tens of millions behind his.
will be the proudest boyfie. drops comments like, “that's my girl.” and “way to go, babe!” upon seeing your bounty poster, and when he sees you finish off your opponent.
YOU CAN, HOLD HIS HANDS, SO PLEASE DO IT SO HE WON'T GET LOST ALL THE TIME‼️‼️
also, i think that after spending some time with perona, zoro probably learned a few things from her, like how to do your hair, make-up, and pick pretty clothes—so i see him helping you with these. 🥺🥺
he's balanced between being vocal and physical in giving you affection.
gives assuring words to you if ever you have to be separated with him due to different task given. (like him on wano and you on wci.) “don't worry, we'll be together again soon.” and “i'll be by your side again, just wait.” is what he'll say. 💗
KISS HIM WITHOUT A WARNING AND HE'S GONNA EXPLODE, AHAHAHAHAHA.
and as his lover, you are granted the luxury to sleep beside the marimo and cuddle him. 😫👌
(insert jealous sanji) 👀
he's quite possessive of you. 🤷♀️
will suddenly hold you close to him if he's jealous.
ah, and about the curly-browed cook who flirts with you most of the time, zoro will be like, “fuck off cook, she's mine.”
rarely says ‘i love you’ because he finds it weird for him to say such sweet words.
he only says that if you're sleeping to avoid embarrassment. man, what a 🐱.
dates with him are mostly sleeping. bcs yk, he's not the type to do those fancy date things.
still, even though he isn't so good at expressing what he feels, you know it. you know that he loves you. ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
“..you're actually soft, aren't you, zoro?” “yeah, but only for you.”
© butterfluffy 2022
#ੈ♡˳· butterfluffy#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece fanfiction#one piece headcanons#one piece oneshot#one piece zoro#zoro one piece#roronoa zoro#roronoa one piece#one piece roronoa zoro#roronoa zoro x reader#zoro x reader#roronoa x reader#zoro headcanons#roronoa zoro headcanons
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I’m genuinely curious what the other critters roles are in the holders au (especially who the Chloe or Lila might be).
alr this ones simple, imma list all of the (rest of the) critters and give them a role based in both in the og MLB series and the Holders AU
just to make it clear, all of the relatioships im talking about here take place before catnap joins the same hs as dogday, eventually they all (Except bubba) become friends between them
Craftycorn: Along with dogday shes an exchange student as well, but attends to a different HS, she's dogdays roomate and both get along very well, eventually from living together they become good friends. Crafty's role on this au would be Alya's on MLB, but without the ladyblog lol, on this universe crafty like alya is interested in the heroes that suddenly popped out of nowhere, and starts investigating about them out of curiosity, eventually she gets very invested in them and starts taking part of a magazine to talk about them both. She's gonna be the first to find out their identities too, she eventually connects the dots and guesses, but doesn't tell anyone
Kickin: He's childhood friends with dogday, but here they met online before dogday decided to move and study on the same country as him, They don't belong to the same HS neither, he goes to the same one as crafty and they become friends there. His role here would be Nino's on MLB, as he would become very close to catnap eventually (catnap got his second best friend yippeee), and also would end up dating crafty lol (kickincorn enthusiast)
Bobby: Bobby is childhood friends with hoppy, and she takes on luka's role on MLB as the good listener and good advice giver to dogday (no romance between them here) Her and Dogday don't exactly have a band, but them both enjoy playing music together (dd plays guitar, bobby plays bass and guitar too + she likes to sing) which made them close. They met bc of Kickin as him, bobby and hoppy were in the same elementary school and kept being good friends ever since.
Hoppy: Childhood friends with Bobby, doesnt take on any particular character's role, she was on a volleyball club with kickin on elementary school and they met there, she also works at the same bakery as dogday mostly to help piggy's family out and get paid for hanging out with friends LOL
(as a psa, theres feelings between the bear and the rabbit, they are GAY, but their relationship develops later on)
Piggy: You could say she in some way takes marinette's role here? but this marinette would not be ladybug here LOL, i stated before that dogday works part-time on a bakery, well piggy is the daughter of said bakery's owner, and she also attends the same hs as dogday and catnap, she became friends with dogday from him working there and going to the same hs as him, shes also best friends with bobby and hoppy and hang out tgt often as a trio
Bubba: This man takes on both lila and kagami's role here, but both would be against caatnap here. As i said before, prototypes an engeneer who owns a company, said company has a partnership with another one, and this company ceo's has a son, Bubba is that ceo's son, so he and catnap had met on multiple ocasions but dont get along that well (they hate each other's guts), as bubba's mindset is like prototype's and catnap is not that fond of his father lmao. When catnap gets sent to socialize, prototype asks his ceo pal to send his son and watch him so he doesn't slip away from his duties. His job is basically to keep catnap from getting away from his father lol, and so he makes his life difficult to achieve that.
the closest thing to a chloe here would be bubba? but they behave very differently so he reminds me more of lila, so i could say theres no chloe here at all, personally chloe's character is very non important to the series, her only role is to be the mean girl and maybe help akumatize some ppl, but overall the only good part about her was her redemption lol, but then they threw that away soo, nothing much to say abt her, i don't find having a Chloe here necessary at all
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thinking thoughts about how Meryl gets to undergo the typical hero’s journey in tristamp, complete with the return where she’s fundamentally changed as a person. I’m trying to imagine her going back to the agency with the news that Roberto is dead.
And how of course no one understands why she’s knee deep in grief. he was just her mentor for a couple months, nothing that should necessitate this much moping. she hears people whisper about it.
“she’s acting like her dad died or something.”
“or her boyfriend. LOL you think he bad touched her? haha.”
so for a while Meryl throws herself back into work. she takes the most cases, the most dangerous ones. flings herself into covering firefight after firefight and always, always remembering to run away in the end because that’s how she feels closest to Roberto.
She thinks maybe if she follows the rumors of shootouts and men in red coats she’ll find Vash the Stampede. he’s the closest thing, the most convenient reminder.
but in the end she has to go back to her day job where no one understands why she’s grieving. because she doesn’t tell people. how do you explain a two month whirlwind love affair with your superior that ended in him passing on his gun to you as he died?
so Meryl doesn’t…try. she smokes his cigarettes and tries to drink from a hip flask (it’s nasty and she quits after the second time) and does her job in a way that he might have been proud of.
she tolerates the whispers. the gossip. the side eyes and the mutters of “goddamn, stryfe’s lost it.” she takes it on the chin when some of her coworkers ask, very gently, if Roberto had done something to her during those two months.
she tells herself they’re just wondering where that bright eyed university student went, the one they’d known for a couple weeks and all either tolerated or grown to like. they’re concerned about her. it’s sweet.
but she hates it. she doesn’t tell anyone about her drunken shotgun wedding or explain the derringer she keeps on the truck’s dashboard, or why she’s started smoking. she doesn’t explain the ring on her finger—doesn’t wear it on the right finger, either, because that invites questions.
she does her job. she eats three meals. she turns down her coworker’s shy invitation to dinner, telling him she’s not really interested in dating right now. her career, and all. and sometimes, she takes a detour to July just to sit at Roberto’s grave.
“senpai, you won’t believe the errand work they’re making me do at the agency,” she gripes. “covering lost cats and rising housing prices. it’s mind numbing.”
she crosses her legs and leans back on her hands. “I don’t think I want to be chief of the news bureau anymore. it sounds like too much paperwork. you’re not disappointed, are you?” she laughs a little. “I don’t think you ever really believed I’d get there, though. maybe I should do it just to prove you wrong.”
sometimes she cries, sometimes she doesn’t. this is one of the days she cries. but at the end of it, she leaves a fresh pack of cigarettes—to be stolen by vandals, probably—hops in her jeep, and goes where the next story takes her.
it's her job.
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This might sound a bit of a sudden but do you have any headcanons about the task force team? I hope you wouldn't mind sharing
Oooh I never get asked about the task force team, I do have many headcanons about them! Thank you for asking!!
Here's my random list of headcanons with very little organization lol:
I fully believe that every single member of the task force looked up to and adored Soichiro, some for father figure reasons and some for daddy reasons (cough cough L cough cough).
I think they all had individual rooms in the headquarters, but often ended up camping out in one room together. Like just pillows and blankets all over the floors and couches of one room. It's mostly because they were all scared any day could be their last, but also they just got really used to each other and found it comforting to be in each other's presence.
They all think they're the most normal guy™️ of the group. Every single one of them. The most normal one is obviously Mogi though.
They all go through phases of looking up to and then hating L. There are moments where they are so impressed by him and his intelligence and other moments where they are like this is the worst asshole boss ever. And I feel like they all take turns hating on and defending L, like not all of them are pissed at him at the same time lol.
They all appreciate Watari and always show how grateful they are when he comes by to give them snacks or whatever else they might need.
I think only Soichiro would notice that Watari must have been L's caregiver. I think he would have conflicting feelings about it and would compare it to his own relationship with Light. Would he have let Light become a world famous detective? If not for the Kira case, would he have really let Light get involved in stuff like this? Would he allow Light to become as detached as L? He'd like to think not, but he doesn't know for sure.
Aizawa was the closest to Ukita. He has a lot of nightmares after Ukita's death. I think all of them would have nightmares about Ukita, really, but I think Aizawa would have been the most affected by far.
Mogi is probably the nicest to and most appreciative of Matsuda. Like I feel like he would have stood up for Matsuda whenever L went too far with bullying him. I think he and Soichiro probably took turns being like, don't worry Matsuda you're doing a great job and we're glad to have you here.
Mogi is bisexual and out of the closet, but doesn't really talk about it very openly. But he doesn't talk about most of his personal life very openly. Only Misa finds out about his dating life when he has to spend a bunch of time with her basically babysitting her during the second part of the series. She's very supportive, but doesn't really get it and assumes he's just gay 😞.
Matsuda saw Light as a brother and was by far the most crushed when the truth came out about him being Kira. Like Mogi, Aizawa, and Ide also felt betrayed, but they were so tired by that point and Mogi and Aizawa hadn't trusted Light in a long while, so they probably had an easier time moving on than Matsuda. Matsuda experiences the cycle of grief over and over again after Light's death. He's so angry and feels so betrayed, but part of him wants to believe that Light was set up and isn't as evil as everyone says.
They all ended up really liking Wedy and Aiber actually and have conflicting feelings about it lmao. I feel like they had game nights with the criminals when things were slow and probably just shrugged it off whenever Aiber or Wedy cheated lol. Like I imagine them playing cards whenever there was down time.
I think that's all I'll put for now, but I might come back to this and add more!
#death note#kira task force#my headcanons#ask response#thanks for asking!#gosh i have a lot of thoughts about Aizawa and Mogi actually#will definitely share more at some point
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Are you that opposed to Zoyander?
lol, I am. I don't think it fits in the original trilogy at all, and I really dislike what they did with it in the show.
In the trilogy, the relationship between Zoya and the Darkling is almost completely one-sided. While Zoya fawns over him and then flips a switch to wanting to kill him, it's not even clear to me that he thinks about Zoya beyond the fact that she's a powerful Grisha. And even then, using trilogy-only canon, there's no reason to think that Zoya is uniquely powerful — I would guess he's seen dozens of Grisha just as, if not more, powerful than she is.
And if he did hook up with Zoya, what would he be getting out of it? He doesn't date — can you imagine — and there is literally not a casual bone in his body so they're not just like occasionally banging and cool about everything else the rest of the time. And the headache of running your military while having affairs with your closest Grisha? Absolute chaos, he does not need the extra paperwork that would undoubtedly create.
I do think he is secretive enough about his personal stance on not banging his Grisha that it's something Zoya and others hope may happen (and Zoya by the time of the trilogy would one million percent have slept with him if he'd offered). Keeping that hope alive without ever acting on it is deliberate on his part, makes them easier to control.
And while the Darkling is never casual, the first thing we see about Zoya in the books and the show is her casually having/trying to have sex with Mal — sex is something that's casual for her, to the extent that in the show she even casually bangs other people while she casually bangs her general. While it doesn't make sense with the Darkling's characterization imo, it does a true disservice to Zoya: the motivating factors for her are no longer power and love for her aunt, there's now also a jealous ex-lover situation going on. I don't love that for her and I think it sells her really short.
All that said, if RoW had gone differently, I do think we could have seen some Zoya/Darkling action. Once she's a dragon, getting her on his side by whatever means necessary is clearly in his interest, and with Juris in her head I think she might see a part of the Darkling that she never had before. There was potential for them, for a minute, there.
And, finally, there is one fantastic fic that made me stop grumbling internally about Zoya & Aleks banging in the show for a bit, which is Let Yourself Relax by goatsandgangsters. If we have to keep the show canon for them, that is 1000% the backstory I'm going with.
#this may have been more on zoya and the darkling than anyone ever really wanted#but here we are#zoya nazyalensky#aleksander morozova#the darkling#grishaverse#an ask#anonymous
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More House Vaude Drama Thoughts...
Hi, I'd like to chime in with more House Vaude Drama ramblings given all the recent discussion going around (which I guess was started by me, sorry everyone lol 😂). @lyranova, @loosesodamarble, and @just-a-little-fan-1793, none of you have to read this (and sorry for the tag), but I couldn't figure out whose post would be most appropriate for me to reblog with my added thoughts so I've just decided to create a new post with more thoughts and tag y'all in case you want to see it. 😅
Long story short, the purpose of this post is that I'm not sure how well I explained my own personal feelings on this topic in my original ask (which Lyra so kindly answered and I've gone ahead and linked here) since my big issue with this whole convoluted mess isn't so much that it's a convoluted mess or that I shipped Vanessa with Finral first or even that Finral and Finesse's relationship had some flaws in the way it was presented in the canon. My real problem with all of this is how wrapped up it all is with the possibility of Finral returning House Vaude, his abusive home that he left for extremely good reason. But my thoughts on this topic were really long so I've put most of them below the cut... 😅 Thanks in advance for indulging my ramblings.
(Warnings: Black Clover spoilers and implied/referenced/discussed child abuse and gaslighting. There also are some constructive (but, I will admit, relatively blunt) criticisms of these pairings and how they were handled by the narrative)
I'd like to start by reiterating that I like both the Finral x Vanessa and Finral x Finesse ships, and I'd go so far as to say that I actually really like that romance isn’t the main focus of Black Clover. I truthfully didn't get into shipping in the series that much because it was so sidelined which really allows the strong friendships and familial bonds (especially in those wonderful found families) to shine!
Also, to this point, I love Finral and Vanessa as just platonic friends just like @just-a-little-fan-1793 mentioned (and on some level, honestly might prefer them that way). That said, I still think the manga did a much better job of qualifying their relationship in that way. When I mentioned in my original ask that I felt the anime played up Finral and Vanessa in a romantic sense, I really blame the English dub for that as I feel like the original Japanese anime played things much less flirty and much more familial teasing between them (it's the delivery of some lines, especially the ones in the sea temple). I've seen both, and I think if I had watched the Japanese first, I would have felt similarly that they were just good friends as I really don't have the strongest "romance detector" in the world and tend to default to platonic friendships unless whacked over the head with the romance. 😅😂
For me, some of those exchanges between them were just too flirtatious (in English). Maybe I was just looking through the lens of my own experience knowing that some of my dearest and closest friends are guys and I'm a woman, and I would never ever talk to my guy friends that way, especially if I knew they were as desperate for love as Finral. I realize part of that is just Vanessa being Vanessa but at the same time, it's (arguably) irrefutably that she is Finral's "best friend"...she knows him better than most people which means she knows how at least a part of him is going to take her saying she'd "let [him] take [her] on a date" if they survive the sea temple battle (and so on). It seems unreasonably cruel to tease him like that if she had him firmly in the "Brother Zone." (Not saying she wants to date him just that I felt there was a least the tiniest sliver of potential there for this reason. Even if the potential is barely 0.0001%, it's still more than zero. I just don't think she would've said it to Finral (again because she knows what he's like and how he'd take it), if the potential was zero). This line was not in the manga, so again, I blame the anime for the confusion which I think is a point that Lyra @lyranova and I both really agree on.
To the Finral x Finesse point, I agree with Erika @loosesodamarble that Finral and Finesse's relationship was handled poorly by the narrative in a troubling variety of different ways. Finesse should have (and easily could have) been mentioned sooner and it should have been made clear that Finral really was pining after her this whole time. Also, this "joke" that it's turning into is not funny and is honestly concerning for Finral's mental health, like he's gaslighting himself and we're all supposed to laugh at it?? It's bizarre and I'm really not a fan.
I would like to state for the record however, that my biggest concern with this pairing is not that I prefer Vanessa for Finral (honestly I'm not sure that I do if it was just personality-wise as I like both pairings equally in that respect but the situation things surrounding a Vanessa x Finral relationship are far less troubling to me which is why I think I tend to lean that direction). My biggest concern isn't even that the narrative kind of botched the Fin Fin execution--I'd be willing to forgive that since I do love Finral x Finesse as a pairing, but what I cannot possibly get over is that I can't think of remotely believable situation in which Finral can marry Finesse without going back to House Vaude. She is the king's grandniece, promised in an arranged marriage, and chronically ill. She also is meek and traditional just by nature. She can't and (I would argue) won't just elope with Finral. I'm sorry. I wish that was the case, but it isn't. If/when they try to make an elopement (or a "Finral gets the girl but Langris gets the estate" situation) happen in the canon, it will feel cheap, unrealistic, and/or nonsensical to me, and I say that as someone who actually ships this pairing and wants to root for them (which is a big source of my frustrations). Unless House Vaude miraculously burns to the ground (we can only hope right🤞), Finral will live there if he marries Finesse. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Which leads me to my main issue, I would rather gnaw off a limb than see Finral return to his abusive home, and I honestly say that with very little hyperbole. Now, I'll disclaimer this by saying I have a lot of personal connection to this topic (probably too much to stay level-headed about it) having loved a "Finral" (someone who ran away from an abusive situation in eerily similar circumstances) in real life and that may cloud my judgment a little bit here because, to be frank, the idea of that person returning to their abusive home for any reason at all makes me feel physically ill. Yes, of course, Finral himself is a fictional character, but the sentiment extends to him too because this whole plotline just hit way too close to home for me to the point where I have lost actual sleep worrying about what's going to happen to Finral and if he's going to go back to House Vaude at the end of the series. I realize there is some projecting there on my part (which is why I mentioned it), but it's the biggest reason I don't think I could really cope with a "Finral's happily ever after involves him becoming Head of House Vaude" ending, especially since Finral's romantic interest in Finesse has been handled so poorly by the narrative that they can't even make the (albeit weak) argument that "Well he loves her so much that it's okay he's going back to House Vaude. His love is so strong it'll help him weather the storm of abuse waiting for him when he goes back there." [For the record, that is a terrible, weak argument just objectively and it would be even if Finral x Finesse was the most perfectly handled ship in the history of the universe, but it can't even begin to be made here when he is literally banging his head against a wall yelling at himself that he actually is in love with her like "sHe'S tHe OnLy OnE fOr Me! Why doesn't anyone believe me?" Probably because you look like you're gaslighting yourself, buddy... 🙄 And yes, this is all just a bad joke, I understand, but it's in really poor taste considering what's at stake here is Finral returning to a toxic environment where he was tormented and abused for nearly two decades until he finally escaped in his adulthood. There is absolutely nothing funny in that.]
My heart breaks for Finral and I feel extremely protective of him, so my biggest concern in all of this House Vaude drama is his safety and well-being. I know that going back to House Vaude (no matter what his reasoning) will not be the best thing for him. Even if he believes that's "what he wants," it really isn't what he wants--it's only what he "thinks" that he wants because he has unrealistic expectations of what returning home will be like (See, his whole "I will make Father acknowledge me" speech when he "declares war" on Langris before leaving for the Heart Kingdom). That's not going to happen. That's never going to happen. The harsh reality is that the Lord and Lady Vaude are horrible, awful people who are incapable of unconditional love--a fact which has messed up both of their sons.
I worry about Langris too, of course, but he at least seems to have a better understanding of the reality of this situation than Finral who still keeps blaming himself like it's somehow his fault his father and stepmother don't love him. He still believes he can "earn" their love and just hasn't yet because there's something wrong with him, whereas by this point in the story, I think Langris is aware that there really is not and was never any love there to earn in the first place. Nothing either him or Finral do will ever be enough for Ledior and Liliane. Langris understands this, and Finral doesn't (which as much as I would love to rescue them both from that hellscape, if one of them has to stay, at least Langris knows what he's getting into).
Finesse unfortunately is way too connected to this house, this situation, and these people on account of the arranged marriage. If she was just some random castle town girl who had no connection to the Vaudes whatsoever, I think I'd have had much less of a problem with her being introduced late because Finral could just marry her without involving his horrible relatives at all (and that is the real issue for me here). But unfortunately, that is not the scenario presented to us by the canon. As it is now, Finesse and House Vaude go hand in hand and likely always will. I think Finesse herself knows this which is why she likely gave Finral space all of those years after he left. I like to think she really does love Finral which then begs the question of what she wants because I can almost guarantee you with 99.9% certainty that if she really does love him and has even the tiniest inkling of a sliver of what has gone on in that House Vaude hellscape (which come on, she cares so deeply for both Finral and Langris (however you want to qualify that) and has been around this family for years now, no matter how much her boys try to protect her from it all, she at least knows some of it or can make an educated guess that there's something dark and sinister in that House behind that perfect persona they try to display to the world), she wouldn't want Finral to step one foot back in there for any reason at all but especially not to be with her.
But yes, to be perfectly fair, this really isn't about Finesse personally. I would have concerns about any relationship for Finral if it involved him going back to House Vaude. (Though I'll admit that Langris' involvement in the whole Finesse situation was so unnecessary and has left a sour taste in my mouth, especially since the way things are playing out in the canon it is much easier for me to believe that Langris is the one who really loves her. Just a personal feeling, but it's not one I can give up and even if he acted like a jerk for a lot of the series, there is something unfair and tragic about the idea of Langris who was abused or tortured in House Vaude just like Finral (only in a different way) getting the rug ripped out from under him losing his house, title, what he worked for his entire life, his sense of identity in a way and (possibly) the only woman he has ever loved to his brother (who needs to stay the **** away from all that House Vaude garbage in the first place) but I digress...). Anyway, I think I settled into Finral x Vanessa mainly because it's not even an option for them to go back to House Vaude (not to mention that having been rescued from abuse herself, there is no way in hell she is letting him go back there).
But these are just my own personal feelings and opinions. Everyone perceives and interprets things differently. Like Lyra said, one of the fun parts of being in a fandom is getting to see all the different perspectives and interpretations. Everyone likes what they like, and it honestly would be really boring around here if everyone was exactly the same and liked exactly the same things so I'm really a big believer in (to paraphrase an old adage) just ship and let ship. I've no problem with either of these ships and no problem with anyone who ships both, one or the other, or neither of them. I personally actually like both of them myself. My only problem is Finral going back to his abusive home and as that seems like a more likely possibility with one (and the one that is most likely to be canon), it does leave me with some big concerns and some sour feelings for what otherwise would have/could have/should have been just a very sweet pairing.
Also, I think I'll just wrap things up with a confession that my favorite ship in this entire "House Vaude Cluster" is actually Finesse x Langris, [and it's honestly the only one I could probably drum up actual passion about as a ship in its own right (outside of this convoluted mess of circumstances, I mean)], but that has everything to do with my own personal preferences and the fact that (as I mentioned earlier) it is easiest for me to believe that Langris loves Finesse more than any other possible pairing in this love urchin. It hadn't been mentioned in any of the previous discussion at all, so I'm mentioning it now just to mention it. ^^ That said, it has nothing to do with anything I discussed here, so do with that information what you will. Cheers!! 💙
#acacia's ramblings#house vaude soap opera#spatial mage brothers#my boys 💚💙#dang i haven't gone on a black clover rant in a while...#i'm honestly feeling kind of rusty lol 😅#but I have A LOT of passion for this topic#...clearly...lol 😂#self-indulgence#but gosh i wish it wasn't 🙈
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hello there!! ive actually been thinking of an obsessive, yandere Arashi narukami x f!reader where arashi basically drugged s/o and forced s/o to be with her, its a pretty typical scenario but ive rarely ever seen it with arashi, and i also wanna see Arashi taking advantage of s/o's naivety, slowly manipulating her ever since Arashi's taken interest towards s/o. i picture s/o suddenly waking up in some kind of odd room where she's tied up and s/o is only wearing undergarments by that point. after freaking out, Arashi slowly and steadily approaches s/o and threatens her to stay put if she doesnt want things to go corrupt. s/o was crying because she thought of Arashi as an older sister figure whom s/o have dearly trusted, from there on, Arashi starts to kiss s/o and marking her up, telling s/o that things are going to be fine as long as she listens to her(Arashi.) That's it for my request, i hope im not asking for too much lol, this can be considered as noncon, so i hope that this much is fine, thanks!! goodluck on your blog!!
You’re not asking for too much! sorry this took so long and ty for the well wishes!!! i might write out a full fic w this concept if you feel these r too short TwT
cw: noncon(touching), yandere, drugging, dollification(kinda), maybe ooc srry, not proof read
Naru is your closest girl bestie!
The two of you go to different schools and you really only ever see much of her on weekends but it’s not like you have anyone else to get closer to…
Girls nights that turn into sleep overs and shopping trips that could easily pass as dates are normal for you two but it seems to go right over your head.
Her lingering gazes and too tight back hugs where her hands linger on your chest just a little too long must mean nothing to you.
You’d never look at her that way; she's like a sister to you!
Maybe your air headedness is for the better. This way she can get away with much more without you even noticing.
It’s a shame it had to come to this though
Not as if this was the first time she had slipped you something, far from it, this was just the first time it was something so strong and long lasting.
Before it was just sleeping pills here and there to keep you knocked out long enough to give her a chance to feel you up a little. But this time it was more permanent.
It had just become harder and harder to enjoy any of the time she spent with you knowing it would inevitably come to an end. Can you blame her????
Sure your jaw was too numb for you to speak and you only kept the muscles you could feel still under the blanket of her vague promise of making you regret it if you didn’t but you were hers now! For ever and ever.
Hers to play with hers to dress up and hers to kiss and cherish.
You just look so cute with glazed over eyes, covered in lipstick stains and almost lifelessly limp <3
12.4.22 - more
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I like ABBA as much as the next guy, but I kind of hate how in the Stranger Things fandom it’s become the go-to example of era-appropriate preppy pop music . They were huge in the 70s yeah, but their last major hit One Of Us came out in 1981 (a full two years before season one), and they became seen as incredibly uncool for the rest of the decade. According to an interview with The Guardian in 2021, they were so disliked by 1982 that Björn Ulvaeus thought they’d never get the group back together. It wouldnt be that weird to headcanon one of the older characters liking them, but headcanoning the younger ones enjoying them unironically and without shame, especially the ones characterized as being "hip" or up to date with whats cool (which is why it`s so odd that Steve of all characters is the one most often subjected to this phenomena).
I have literally never seen anyone in this fandom mention The Go-Gos. Ever. That is an actual crime. You are all going to jail. The closest I’ve heard y’all get is mentions of Belinda Carlisle’s Heaven Is A Place On Earth, which came out in 1987, a year off from season 4 and definitely way too late for the first three seasons. The Go-Gos were literally the most popular all female rock band of all time. Head Over Heels is the U.S. national anthem and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. That second part was a joke but the first one is true. Personally I’d headcanon Steve and El in particular liking them. Steve because I’m pretty sure the only artist we see him listening to in canon is Pat Benatar, so him liking another, albeit much peppier, female lead rock act doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch. El because she deserves to have fun. If you want some song recommendations, my favorites from them are Head Over Heels, Turn To You, and Can’t Stop The World. Especially Turn To You, that song goes so goddamn hard.
Another band that I like and was popular at the time that I never see any mention of in this fandom is The Cars. I will admit though that that may be partially because the name “The Cars” is really hard to search for since both words in it are incredibly common. I also headcanon Steve liking them, he just seems like a The Cars kinda guy. Maybe Max as well (though I was a bit more confident in this headcanon before season 4). My song recommendations for them are Just What I Needed, Bye Bye Love, Let’s Go, and It’s All I Can Do (just note that these particular songs are actually from 1978-79, just because I happen to prefer their earlier work. It would probably still be considered pretty relevant, since there`s a world of difference between older songs by a band that is currently popular and older songs by a band that currently publicly disliked, but I thought I should address it anyway, since a lot of my argument hinges on relevancy. A couple songs that are more apropos are Drive and You Might Think, which are both from 1984).
I like a lot of other songs an artists from this time period and general genre, but these were the two that I thought were the most egregiously overlooked in the very, very specific context of the Stranger Things fandom, as well as being two of my favorites.
Sorry if this post came off as aggressive, you can headcanon literally anything you want (that’s kind of the point of headcanons lol), even in the face of historical inaccuracy, it’s just the ubiquity of that misconception in this fandom that bothers me a little, especially since it typically means overlooking other period and genre appropriate bands, especially ones I happen to like. Again, there’s nothing at all wrong with ABBA, or headcanoning ST characters liking ABBA. I especially liked WriterRose‘s (@wannabe-cartoonist on here I think) depiction of Steve liking ABBA in “Bah humbug” where the kids find one of their records in the player at his house and he tries to convince them it’s his mom’s. The music references in that entire fic series are great actually, you should go read it if you haven’t.
#take a shot every time I say the word “headcanon”#stranger things#stranger things fandom#pet peeve#st#music#stranger things headcanons#stranger things headcanon#the go gos#abba#the cars#eleven#el hopper#jane hopper#eleven hopper#max mayfield#steve harrington#st2#st3#st4#anna talking about stuff#in this essay
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