#clark: im a superhero! why would i kidnap you? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

#i love all of you guys so much thanks for all these asks #some of these are literally from march but fuck it #the day tumblr puts dates next to anon messages is the day i close my inbox crawl into a hole and die #it's such a basic task to answer asks but i don't want to bother anyone with asks clogging up their timeline #and if i don't have a funny or good answer i'm like 'uhh okay won't answer it now then'#so this is for you #also i deleted a few asks because it gives me mental pain to see my inbox go over 50 and it's almost at 100 #i was complaining about having too many asks to the-real-peter-parker like months ago and then i had 45 asks in my inbox #now it's amassed to going over 100 twice #but no i love all of you and you're great and you're all fantastic and i lvoe you #muchos kiss kiss #kiss kiss for my kiddies lvoe you #invincible spoilers #dc #dcu #dc comics #ask #anon #bataranswers #i really wanna try aguapanela now i'm gonna see if i can find panela somewhere and review it for you babes #uh yeah that's it #muchos gracias for all your questions babes

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traya-sutton · 5 years

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New Friends in the Strangest Places

So I can't format this correctly cuz im on my phone but BASICALLY HERE YA GO. 8 FICS. 8 DAYS. HALLELUJA. GOOD DAY AND GOOD NIGHT.

Hope you like it clark <3

For: @lesbianstargirl

Gift prompt: I mean I would love more Maxine Hunkel fics or just her in anything

Iron Heights is dark. That’s the first thing Maxine thinks when she walks in. It’s a high metal cage. Bars on every window smell like rust. Maxine can hear the insults and whistles from the inmates. She shifts in her sneakers. The entire place makes her uncomfortable, filled with people she helped put in there.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Courtney asks her. She squeezes her friend’s hand.

Maxine nods. She-They, the JSA, they need to talk to T.O. Morrow. The latest mission of theirs has a large robotic element, and so who better to talk to. Ivo is still on the run, and Terrific is even having trouble with this.

Courtney and Maxine walk down the hall, arm in arm. Only because Max can’t bear to let go, and Courtney doesn’t mind. Max is shuddering, each step takes effort. Finally, she halts, unable to continue.

“I can take it from here.” Courtney whispers, wiping some stray hairs from Maxine’s face.

Max’s hands shook. “I can-I can do it.”

“You don’t have to. Just take a moment. I would stay with you but we need to talk to him now.” Courtney looks around. “How about you sit outside the wing, over there.” Courtney nods to a bench outside of the metal, reinforced door. “I’ll come get you when I’m done.”

“Court-”

“It’s okay. We all have bad things that we don’t want to face. That’s alright. It was brave of you to come here in the first place.” Courtney squeezes Maxine’s hand once again. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Maxine nods. She goes to sit.

She hates feeling useless like this. For once she was able to do something, by becoming a hero. Heroes weren’t supposed to be scared like this. She pulls her legs up to her chin to sit, tightening her arms around her knees. She hears as Courtney walks down the hall to T.O. Morrow’s cell, and Maxine is alone, once again.

“Hi, what’s your name?”

Maxine glances up. There’s a little girl standing right in front of her. She’s got dark skin and mousy dark hair. Her eyes though are bright. She looks to be maybe eleven, or twelve. There’s a Guy Gardner themed backpack slung over her shoulder. What’s she doing in a prison?

“I’m Maxine. What’s your name?”

The girl walks over to Maxine and sits next to her on the bench, swinging her legs. “I’m Traya.” She says. The girl’s eyes widen as she takes in Maxine’s clothes. “Are you a superhero, too?”

“Too?”

Traya shrugs. “My Dad is a superhero.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re here?”

“Yeah, he’s gotta talk with his Dad. He’s got an issue with his wiring, but he doesn’t want me going to see Gramps.” His wiring? Maxine thinks. Traya pouts. “Something about… bad influence… and stuff...”

“Oh. Who’s your grandfather?”

“T.O. Morrow.” And that would explain that. She must be the new Red Tornado’s kid. Maxine vaguely remembers something about a standoff at an adoption hearing for her. Red Tornado almost got arrested and disassembled.

Maxine’s heart drops in her chest. Clearly something but be showing on her face because Traya’s falls and she says. “Oh no. Did my Grandpa hurt you?”

For once in her life, Maxine is at a loss for words.

Traya takes Maxine’s hand in hers. “I’m sorry.” She says softly. “My Grandpa hurt a lot of people. He’s not a nice man.”

“Then why do you want to see him?” Maxine asks.

Traya shrugs off her backpack and pulls out a notebook. “My STEM project is due in a week. I wanted to know if he would look over my math.”

“You’re STEM project? What grade are you in?”

“I’m a Junior at Elias’ School for Girls.” Traya explains. She flushes slightly. “I’m… better at math than making friends with people my age.”

“You too, huh?”

Traya’s eyes light up. “You like math too?”

“I major in Theater. But I like math.”

“You’re in college!” Traya gasps. “Where do you go?”

“Harvard.”

“Wow! Is it worth the tuition?” Traya asks. “I’m graduating next year and I have to decide if I want to go to university or take a couple years off. I was thinking of going to trade school to learn mechanics, but I really want to continue in robotics too. Of course, MIT is better when it comes to-” Traya’s voice skids to a halt. She flushes. “I’m talking too much, aren’t I? I always do that when I get excited. Everyone at school call me a know-it-all. Well, everyone except Cissie and Cassie and Greta...”

Maxine smiles. “It’s okay. I get like that too. I’d love to help you decide about your education. Choosing to go to university is a big step, especially for someone so young. Don’t worry though, you have lots of time to decide.”

Traya smiles up at Maxine. “Thanks.” Traya looks back at her notebook and glances up at Maxine, flushing slightly. “Would-Would you like to hang out sometime? Like not just with me, like-I have superhero friends and I think you’d fit in great!”

“Well, I’ve got some superhero friends, you know. I’m a member of the JSA.”

“Like Stargirl?” Traya gasps.

Maxine nods.

“Wow! Really? She’s the coolest of all of them! I got to meet her once, when everyone in the JSA got turned into babies and she got turned into an adult. Cassie and Cissie think she’s cool too-”

“Wait. Cassie? Like, Cassie Sandsmark? Wonder Girl?”

“Uh huh.”

This time it was Maxine’s turn to fangirl. “Really? She’s so cool! And Cissie-You mean the Olympic archer? Court mentioned that she used to be a hero and that she told off the Justice League. Is that really true?”

“Uh huh. But I wasn’t there for that.”

“Cool!”

Traya grins at Max and then her faces falls. She fidgets once more and says, “I’m really sorry about whatever Grampa did to you. You’re so nice…”

Max pats her shoulder gently. “He hurt me Traya, it’s true, but it wasn’t the end for me. Sometimes...” Maxine didn’t want to tell this girl about her depression, it didn’t really seem appropriate, but she hadn’t been unaffected by her kidnapping. “Sometimes it feels like it was, but I know that there are good people out there, and that it’s not the end. Even if it feels like that. Plus, I got some pretty cool powers because of it. I met your Dad that way, and now I’ve met you through it.”

The large metal door to the wing which houses T.O. Morrow swings open and Courtney and Red Tornado march through—Courtney is up in arms about something. The thought makes Maxine smile, if Courtney is pissed then things are going to be okay.

“I’m just saying treating him as hostile won’t hurt anyone. Except him.”

“Stargirl.” The robotic voice responds. “I am not electrocuting my creator, even slightly, just so he’ll tell you who created the android plaguing the Justice Society of America.”

Court scowls. “C’mon Max. We’re done here. Morrow won’t tell us sh-” She freezes when she sees Traya and then says, “-anything.”

Maxine sighs. “I didn’t think he would.” Maxine turns to Traya. “It was nice to meet you, Traya.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Traya chirps. She gets up and jogs over to her father. “Well, what did he say about my project?”

“He thinks your designs are good. But he suggests giving your project more RAM.”

“I knew it!” Traya whispers. She glances back at Maxine and then says something to Red Tornado in a language Maxine doesn’t speak. Red Tornado replies shortly and glances at Max in what Maxine would say is a kind way, but because he is a robot with no facial expressions she can’t tell. Traya puts her hand in her father’s and turns back to call to Maxine: “Hey Max! You and your family are invited over for dinner whenever you want!”

“Okay, Traya!” Maxine waves back.

“Lovely seeing you Stargirl, as always.”

“Yeah, yeah. Bye Metalhead.” Courtney mumbles.

Red Tornado picks up Traya and gusts the two of them away. Maxine and Courtney choose to walk.

“I hope it wasn’t so bad.” Courtney says softly.

“It wasn’t. I even made a new friend.”

“Well, that’s good.” Courtney links her arm through Maxine’s. “Want to tell me about her? You know I love to listen.”

#cant add a readmore either guys sorry yall are gonna have to scroll past #tho i guess if u got here u already did #hannukah gifts #maxine hunkel #traya sutton #sorry if theyre ooc #diana writes dc

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total-television-productions-act · 4 years

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hi!! Motivation for this post came Entirely from reading @keitheaverage’s Code Red headcanons several times over. i also have lots of ideas for a moderny rebooty Underdog Show, so here’s my take!

also the more i write the more it becomes apparent im not good at writing essays, so, uh, sowwy

ALSO EDIT AFTER FINISHING WRITING THIS, ITS SUPER LONG?? WUH OH

tws for talk of child harm, trauma mentions & guns all in very vague terms

Shoeshine N. Clark is very secretive of his past, only really revealing it when he feels pressured into it or when his buds are sharing their traumas too. His is easily the worst, which really ends up ruining game night.

The gist, in the lightest way Shoes usually tells it, is that an adult hurt him alot when he was younger, he’s been orphaned, and he has a missing brother. He grew up in West Virginia, moved to Minnesota when he was 18, moved to New York when he was 20, and has stayed there since.

Shoes is also a very, very watered down mutt, and he wouldn’t be surprised at all if he had every dog breed in him. He’s not about to pay for a test. His highest influences, however, are general hunting dogs, terriers and hounds; more specifically, Shoes is certain he’s pretty heavily beagle & coonhound. Shoes also has heterochromia, and isn’t really fit despite his main job. He could probably kick an ass if anyone ever told him to try a diet, but he wouldn’t actually.

Currently, Shoes is 27 & a very nervous and stealthy trans guy, with lots of worries about where his family and old friends have ended up, and how his current ones will end up leaving him. He also buys and customizes shoes for anyone whos willing to buy or commission them. Shoes comfortably works from home and picks up most of the cleaning work. Also makes it super easy for him to turn into…

Underdog, Champion of Champions. Sometimes known as “Alex Ruby” on any official-looking documents. Underdog was also born in West Virginia, but was only really reared in New York. He was taught how to superhero by an ex-hero named The Champion (who also has lots of history we can cover in another post). Underdog quickly accepted Cauli (Champion’s civilian identity) and his boyfriend, Shifty, as cool new pseudo-dads. Cauli taught Underdog how to control his powers, and introduced him to lots of new people (who we’ll cover in a minute).

Now, Underdog sits as famed and powerful Animal-American superhero who speaks in rhyme for reasons unknown. His fandom likes taking guesses at where Underdog came from, why he speaks in rhyme, and generally just how he came to be. Shoes likes to lurk around and start hoaxes to throw them off the real trail.

Oftentimes, Underdog only prevents people with a criminal past, or with big and dangerous intents. He usually lets people who seem in need get away with a theft or two, but that’s the Shoeshine coming through.

Let’s talk about his friends! Shoes has… a handful, but most of them are from other shows bc this reboot is a big ol mishmash, as you probably guessed. So we’ll just cover the one(s) from The Underdog Show itself.

Obviously, we gotta start with Polly Purebred. Polly was the first similar-aged friend Shoes made in New York, connected by his mentor, Cauli. Polly is not a superhero, but is just as neat, I would say. She was born and raised in the Big City by her mother, Pinky Knees, and alongside her older brother, Noah. She has almost no childhood trauma, save for when Pinky and Cauli broke up, and several fights a teen Polly got into with her mother. She was a very rebellious teen and definitely blew things out of proportion back then, but she’s better at not getting into yelling matches now (well, most of the time.) Now she just has trauma from being kidnapped and put up for ransom so much.

Polly & Shoes meet when Polly is in college. She majored in Journalism & minored in Communications, with hopes of becoming an anchorwoman. Polly wanted to learn everything she possibly could, and wanted to help people along the way! (Polly has a very wide skillset she’s trained since childhood, and has general knowledge on topics such as medicine, healthcare, astrology, clothing design, sewing, television, animation, writing, news reporting, true crime… more… she was also a Girl Scout, that certainly helped.)

Polly does eventually nab a job soon after she graduates as an anchorwoman at TTV Studios, alongside OJ Skweeze. Her first report coincided with Underdog’s first big feat - taking down huge robots that threatened to destroy the city. Stressful day - good outcomes for them both!

Polly and Shoes are, and have remained, very good friends since their first meeting. Polly knows all the deep info about Shoes’ traumatic past and his identity, and Shoes knows way more than he ever thought he would about Polly’s interests. She’s also 27, and the two of them live together in an apartment as roommates!

Polly is very confidently a peekapoo, and is pretty sure her father was a pure poodle since she is so poodly. Her mom thinks she probably has a little shih tzu or affenpinscher in there, she don’t know, she got around alot.

That’s Shoes’ biggest friend but he has more, I swear. Polly has a whole circle of friends who Shoes usually gets dragged into as well, but he’s pretty uncertain if that really makes Polly’s friends and Him real friends. Anyway…

Cad Lackey and Underdog are, uh, mildly friends. Cad isn’t nearly as evil or powerful as Simon is, and the both of them know this pretty well. They don’t hang out a whole lot, but Underdog does trust Cad alone (granted he always has sight of his hands,) and they’ll often talk a bit together if they encounter eachother in the wild.

Again, Shoes is only mildly friends with Fido Vance. He’s an introvert, okay? They originally started as enemies, when Fido Vance became a cyborg and started stopping crime way faster than Underdog could dream of. But then Fido malfunctioned under the pressure of Riff’s entire gang, and gladly let Underdog back into the ring.

Fido has a huge crush on Shoeshine, and absolutely no idea in the world that he could ever be Underdog. Shoes doesn’t like the crush at all, but Fido respects that and, despite being a dumb flirty rich boy, wouldn’t ever do anything to push Shoes out of his boundaries or hurt him. And, you know, Shoes can respect that. (He’s only really weary of him because of his childhood trauma.)

Underbot and Underdog also started off as enemies. Underbot was made by Simon Barsinister after several years of studying Underdog, but she wasn’t made exactly like him. Underbot is skinny, her eyes are the same color, and she is a trans girl. Now, she tends to take care of smaller crimes, as not to trouble Underdog, who mainly deals with Riff Raft, Simon Barsinister and a handful of aliens. Underbot also has a rack of familiars she fights (typically Rubber Duck, Viper Venom and a different set of aliens.) Underbot usually attends Underdog Fanclub Meetings when Underdog can’t make it himself.

You’ll never guess how Underdog and the Bombay met. Bombay came to town and always seemed to be near the scenes of crimes. Underdog assumed they were the cause before helping him rescue Polly and explaining that, in fact, Bombay was only there because their regular villain had drifted down there. They brought down Dr. Hiss together and banded together in superheroism.

Bombay lives in Canada so they and Underdog don’t visit very often, but Bombay can often be found spamming Underdog’s phones with texts about their accomplishments. Bombay’s very high up on Shoes’ worry-list, and Bombay is on the very short list of people Shoes has trusted his civilian identity to.

Noah, Joanne & Wilbur Purebred are Polly’s brother, sister-in-law, and nephew, respectively. Shoes feels an impulsive need to protect children, and because he works from home, he often babysits Wilbur when his parents have date night. Wilbur loves his cool uncle a lot, and Shoes adores his cool nephew just as much. Wilbur adores historical stories and superheroes, and currently, Underdog is his favorite. Shoes doesn’t have the heart to tell him the truth, but he has come very close to.

Polly is friends with several people from Megapolis, other floors of their apartment and other shows. She’s also pretty good friends with her boss, OJ Skweeze, but they’re really only work friends.

Anyway, enough of Peace it’s time for the villains!

Simon Barsinister first heard of Underdog, like many other people, when he defeated several huge robots. Simon had wanted to control the world and achieve money & power for a very long time, but this really kickstarted his want to do so. When he froze Underdog he thought he was the lamest superhero ever, but… Underdog broke free. After that, Simon spent most of his time trying to study Underdog. How he got powers, how to remove them, who he really was, and ways he could be stopped. Unfortunately, Underdog’s a lot more powerful than Simon originally thought…

Underdog thinks likewise of Simon. He’s lame, but he really is more powerful than he appears. That’s been made clear to Underdog several times. Underdog is also just, terrified of Simon. He looks way too much like the adult that hurt him in his childhood.

Riff Raft is also fairly powerful, but mostly commits robberies. Underdog is sure he could probably take over the world if he tried, but Riff only has interest in being rich and striking fear into the heart of civilians. Riff is the leader of a gang of criminals, taking over after Boston Bully’s untimely death. He’s acutely aware his gangmates could turn and rebel against him at literally any point, so he makes sure to care for them all pretty well. However, Riff isn’t above using threats to get his underlings to do exactly what he wants.

Riff is married to Taptap, and his closest friend is Mooch Kodiak. Often Riff will leave Mooch in charge of leading robberies if he can’t be present.

Riff and Underdog were friends for a little while in their early 20s, after Underdog had first arrived. They got on very well, despite their dads being enemies. Eventually, Riff invited Underdog to join the gang and continue their friendship, but Underdog couldn’t accept the offer, and Riff refused to leave the gang. They’ve since become rather bitter toward eachother because of those decisions.

Here’s rapidfire Raft Gang info:

Dyna Mite, a big hottie who is also very good with dynamite, obviously. Dyna knows damn well she could catch any person she wants, and definitely uses that info to her advantage if she ever gets caught in a sticky situation.

Mooch Kodiak is huge and pretty quiet most of the time. He’s great with a gun and just as good with his fists. Anyone who disobeys gang rule certainly has a big storm coming.

Nails Carpenter is one part of a trio Riff met in prison. Nails is wonderful at woodcraft and, while her skills don’t exactly get used to the fullest, she loves committing crime.

Needles Tailor is the second member of the trio. He’s good at sewing, and got made fun of for that in prison. Not anymore under Riff. People fear him! Sorta. He mostly gets used as group medic, his sock-casts are pretty good, ngl.

Sandy Safecrack is an expert at unlocking saves. She’s always there at bank robberies, and really shines when the tellers don’t give in and the gang has to do it themselves. That’s not her only purpose, though. Sandy’s kinda a loose cannon, and would go beserk on a gun if you looked at her wrong. Riff & Dyna (her girlfriend) don’t let her anywhere near autoloadings.

Smitty Blacksmith is the third member of the prison trio. An expert at metalworking and masonry, Smitty is damn good at repairing guns, car parts, and locks for handcuffs. He might also cover your feet in cement if you aren’t looking.

Spinny Wheels is the usual getaway driver of the gang. He’s very weak physically and emotionally so, really, that’s the best place for him. The one thing Spinny does not care about are speed limits and sirens, because they’re just numbers and noise. Who’s gonna stop him? Can’t if he goes faster!

Taptap Raft moved to New York when he was 18. His real name is Will Clark, which he only lets Riff know. Taps specializes in identifying real and fake jewelry, just how much it’d sell for, and how fast it needs to go. He’s very charming and sometimes leads robberies against the faint of heart. Very spooky to have a nice-looking guy suddenly hold a gun to your head, also very effective!

Underdog fights against several criminals, but these are the ones he encounters most.

Well, now that the character section got out of hand, I suppose it’s time to talk about how I’d actually run a reboot. First, I’d have four types of episode plots rather than three: Simon Barinister, Riff Raft, Otherworldly and…. Grounded. Shoes & Polly deal with a problem that doesn’t have anything to do with crime, and it’s mostly a character building episode. That’s the tasty stuff!

Aside from that, Underdog… wouldn’t publicly do drugs. I picture he eats some protein powder before he sets off to do some Underdogging but it probably wouldn’t get shown but a few times.

Next up is more Polly & Riff screentime, babey! I love Polly and Riff sooo much, and that’s kinda the idea between the four episode types. Polly gets a big spotlight in grounded-plot ones, and Riff gets big focus in his named ones. The episode plots would actually be balanced instead of going Simon, Simon, Simon, Otherworldly, Otherworldly, Riff, Simon-- additionally, a few more mixed-villian eps. Some with big actual plots involving more than one bad guy, or maybe just a cameo in the other guys episodes. I want everyone to know about eachother!

I think that’s all I have. I don’t really have a name for any of this, but, uh, we can call it “Ale’s Underdog” or something. idk! thats all folks!

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