Was someone going to tell me that Sam and Cat ended with Ariana Grande’s character going to jail for brutalizing a child or was I just supposed to learn it from a nine hour Quinton Reviews video?
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Tori: Jade kissed me!
Cat: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Tori: It was unbelievable!
Cat: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Trina: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Cat, get the wine and unplug the phone. Tori, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Tori: Oh, it ended very well.
Cat: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!
Trina: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?
Tori: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
Trina: Ohh... So, okay, was she holding you? Or were her hands on your back?
Tori: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.
Cat and Trina: Ohhh.
*meanwhile*
Jade, eating some pizza: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
Beck: Tongue?
Jade: Yeah.
Andre: Cool.
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I'm in my early 2000s Nickelodeon era
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Can the trend of stupid long video essays about children shows of questionable quality never end please? I need them
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Beck: Why are your tongues purple?
Tori: We had slushies. I had a blue one.
Jade: I had a red one.
Beck: Oh...
Beck: *realizes*
Beck: OH!
Cat: *resetting Windows*
Cat: You drank each other's slushies?
Beck, Tori, Jade: ...
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